#Can you tell what piece of media will be living in my head rent free for the next??

[panstovoid]

Man across the spiderverse is really going for be gay, fight crime (and the establishment).

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

[Text: Tell me, what do you think of people actually liking the character development in season 4-5 and the show's treatment of mental health? [Redacted] thinks that and she's the mother of a teenager]

Re liking the show: I generally assume that they have poor taste and/or media literacy.

Re the mental health rep: I generally assume that they're incredibly privileged and/or ignorant.

I'm posting this as an image and not an ask response specifically because I will not participate in fandom drama or shaming. This blog exists specifically so that people can actively choose to engage in my content and so that I can post critical thoughts without dragging their source into some petty fight. So I'm not going to talk about the named individual. Instead, I'll replace them with the show's head writer and talk about him in a similar context.*

He's pretty famously denied that Chloe suffered any abuse, ignoring her obvious neglect, which came from both parents, just in different forms. When you pair that with how the show handles people like Gabe and Jagged Stone, we see a clear pattern of the show ignoring the devastating effects that abandonment and neglect can have on a person, especially if they're a child.

Now you could look at that and say, "The head writer condones abuse! He's a monster!" But I prefer to go the more likely route and assume that he's a privileged middle-class cis white man who has never had to deal with those issues or support someone who has, so he has no idea how to handle them properly or that they even need to be properly handled. There's every chance that he's a loving, kind man and a fantastic father who just happens to not be very good at writing a complex topic that he clearly has no understanding of or desire to learn about. I apply similar logic to fans who share his opinions. Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence or ignorance.

And all of the above is assuming that we're talking about someone who thinks that the show is objectively good or that the mental health rep is good, which are big assumptions. It's fully possible to enjoy a piece of media that you know is objectively bad or even "problematic" in some way.

Personal confession time: is Loonatics Unleashed an objectively terrible show that you should never, ever watch? Absolutely. 100%. Are Rev Runner and Tech E. Coyote two of my favorite characters who will live rent free in my head until the day I die? Yep! I pulled up a YouTube highlight real as I was writing this and those dorks still make me smile even though the show is terrible on multiple levels and I know that I'm not alone in that sentiment. Those two clicked with a lot of people for some reason.

A piece of fiction need not be good for you to love it and you don't need to justify your love for a piece of fiction if you're not claiming that it's good. Similarly, people hating that piece of fiction or pointing out flaws in it is not a reflection on you in any way shape or form. You can even agree with their criticism and still love the piece of fiction. This approach to media - loving a thing in spite of its flaws - is normal and healthy and I'd really love to see it make a comeback in younger fandoms.

Like, I cannot emphasize this enough, most fandoms consider it perfectly normal to have lots of fans who are critical of the source or who have even lost interest in the source for one reason or another, but they still like some element of the source enough to want to create/consume fan content for it. These more critical fans arguably make some of the best fan content because looking at canon and saying "That's nice, let me show you how I'd do it" often leads to some of the most complex stories that you'll see in fandom spaces. Stories that can often blow canon out of the water for TV shows and movies since fanfic isn't limited by budgets or studio policies or marketability concerns. Fans who think that the source is perfect tend to just write fluff or romcom type fics, which is not a dig! I love bother of those genres! But woman does not live on fluff alone.

Obviously there's some complexity here because who decides if a show is bad? Saying "it's okay that you like a terrible thing" can certainly sound like an insult and prompt a feeling of needing to defend the thing, which is why I don't fight with fans who like the show. There's really no need to convince them that the thing they like is bad. Do I think it is? Yes. Does it matter if they disagree? No, not really. At worst, they create stories with similar issues and, well, they're not the only ones and fighting with them isn't going to stop them. You're much better off focusing on creating your own good media and trying to get that popular. Heck, even if you made the head writer see all of Miracuous' flaws, it wouldn't change anything. The show is already made.

So, yeah, I don't really assume anything bad about people who think that miraculous is good. I know lots of wonderful people who have terrible taste in media and I'm still friends with them. I just don't take recommendations from them.

It's important to remember that, when you're online in a fandom space, a person is condensed down to a very tiny snapshot of who they are and judging a person solely off of their thoughts regarding a poorly written kids show is a dangerous path to tread. Like, looking at this blog, you might assume that I spend all of my time thinking about miraculous and obsessing over its flaws, which is very much not the case. I actually have this blog specifically so that I don't obsess over miraculous' flaws because I've found that, when something is bothering me, writing it down or talking to someone about it is the best way to stop thinking about it. Even then, most of my posts are reblogs of stuff I come across while browsing my tumblr feed, which is not solely miraculous content. I mostly interact with the show by creating non-salty fanfic that I honestly enjoy writing and find to be a relaxing, positive outlet.

It's human nature to judge and it's totally normal to think that a person's an idiot because of something they post online, but be careful to not lean into those thoughts too hard. At the end of the day, Miraculous is just a stupid kids show that will fade from the popular consciousness a few years after it stops airing. If it and/or the fandom are negatively affecting your mental health, then it's okay to step away for a while or use the block button. It really is your best friend. I enjoy being critical about Miraculous specifically because it's not that important. While I do think that kids deserve better media, I don't think Miraculous is some terrible evil harming the youth. I'm not horrified when a kid watches it, it's just not a show that I'd encourage them to watch and, if the kids was close to me, we'd spend a lot of time talking about the bad things that the show showcases from time to time. There are lots of episodes that are fine and I can think of way worse kids shows. Shows that tell their horrifying morals really well, making a kid far more likely to pick up on them and internalize them.

*Note that I only feel comfortable talking about the head writer like this because he's a public figure with an active social media presence AND because I'm not @ing him. If he was a private person or if he was not a professional creator, then I would not talk about him like this and even in that context I try to avoid it whenever I can. You can think that he's a terrible writer, but he's still a human being and, as far as I'm aware, nothing he's done deserves people harassing him.

I absolutely understand how devastating it can be to see a story you love get ruined by the creative team. The first time that happened to me, the life lesson I came away with was, "I will no longer put my happiness in the hands of another creator. I will enjoy stories, but I will temper my expectations and remember that they're just another human being and it's completely possible that their vision for this seemingly awesome story may end up being terrible."

[wetcatspellcaster]

Hi! Sorry to bother you again, I'm the one who asked you a while ago if it was okay to ask for some tips on writing dialogue. Thank you so much for your availability and time 🙇‍♀️ I'm mostly curious about how you structure your dialogues and how you manage to build chemistry between the characters through banter. Do you follow a particular set of rules or does it just come natural to you? You write so many ideas and cool dialogues, how do you manage to come up with so many? In general, if you have any tips for a fledgling "writer", they are super welcome. No pressure, of course, I really don't want to intrude/steal your time. P.s. I forgot last time to tell you that I also really loved your AU fic, Party Favours. I was hooked from the first lines and I had so much fun reading it. It was a really comforting and entertaining read, like drinking a hot chocolate in winter. Honestly, thank you so much for gifting us with such a warm and funny story. 🥰☕

Hey! Thank you for being so nice about my writing and the strengths you think I have - I didn't know I had them, so it was interesting to see my work from someone else's perspective.

And also don't worry, it's not a bother to answer this question. Although I'm not sure how helpful I'll be as I have no formal training and that might mean my explanations aren't useful!!

I'll try to answer as best I can :)

I don't really have rules for chemistry, I'll be honest, but my favourite dynamic (as is fucking obvious from many a fic I've written) is overconfident flirt/straight-laced practical killjoy. Luckily for me... there are a lot of these in media (Howl/Sophie, Tamaki/Haruhi, certain flavours of Buffy/Spike, Jude/Cardan from The Cruel Prince, Labyrinth fanfiction, whatever was going on with Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries)! So I guess, if I was to give advice on that... I'd say if you really like a certain dynamic, go and look for examples of how they work elsewhere. Work out what it is about the pairing that makes your brain itch, or examine how these characteristic interactions play out, if there's any kind of formula to them - for instance, in Party Favours, the bit where Astarion is actively and overconfidently faking while talking to Threnn while Rose gets more and more flustered, was based partly on a fake relationship episode of Buffy lol. Like I didn't copy it word for word or anything, but it was an idea I saw elsewhere that I knew would be good for the pairing. .

Coming up with ideas... again, idk how idiosyncratic my process is. I maladaptive daydream a lot, and I really like scripting arguments (see above about what dynamics in fiction work for me, lmfao). i just love to hallucinate bickering, apparently. If I have any lines of dialogue that occur to me in any situation, I tend to put them into my notes app on my phone, to revisit later. If I have a scene with a particular purpose, I might look through my dialogue on my phone and try to find a series of quotes that work. Other times the maladaptive daydream for a few days might be the scene, and I'll write down any notes on what I want to happen and let it percolate for a few days before I actually write it. Sometimes pieces of dialogue will come to me before the scene does - Astarion's speech in chapter 7 of pieces happened before any of the rest of the fic, and then I was like "fuck. well. now i've got to get myself there." Mostly, this seems to just be a result of having these people live in my head rent free, but I'm also pretty autistic and so I script conversations a lot in social interactions anyway. .

Dialogue. I think dialogue comes naturally to me (see above comment about autism) and as such, I don't really follow any strict rules, I'm afraid... but these are some things I do formally try to do-

If a person is talking at someone (again, see how much I fucking love writing people bickering), you need to make sure it's not just a wall of text. Adding in paragraph breaks, even if it's a monologue, is kind of essential (speaking as someone who did not do this in the beginning, and it shows, particularly when you're reading my earlier fic on mobile rather than desktop). Often I will break it up with a one sentence interjection, a false start from the other person trying to get a word in edgeways, or a stage direction. I had a problem with one pairing I wrote for where one of the characters just would never speak... I needed to engineer lines for him to say even if it was completely superfluous. Sometimes, now I look at my writing, I feel like these are obviously fake and unnecessary... but they help break up the text and give the reader pauses. So they must be helpful, even if they're kind of just... there. it makes the dialogue a dialogue, with two people involved and reacting to each other. -

Similarly, speeding stuff up can be useful when creating banter, to keep pace and avoid people monologuing at each other. The key ways I tend to speed stuff up is usually a) characters finishing each other's sentences (derogatory or affectionate), b) interrupting each other (you'll notice my repeated 'Astarion-' is often used to get Astarion to just talk quicker and at more length and in more detail until Rose loses her goddamn mind), c) quicker back and forth where you don't need dialogue tags or stage directions bc characteristic voices will make it clear who is speaking. -

I read everything aloud as I post. This is how I proofread. Reading aloud helps me find spelling errors/sentence errors, but it also means that I have to speak all my dialogue aloud to my own wall like a crazy person. If I'm speaking it aloud in a different way, like the phrasing changes subconsciously to what's more natural in my mouth, I will often edit the dialogue to reflect that. I speak it, to see how it is spoken. -

Second to the above point, if you have a character who's voice you struggle with, listen/watch clips of their voice. I do not think I can write Lae'zel (or Gale tbh, and I'm now writing a whole fic from his pov so I clearly hate myself). I watch back clips of them all the time, and then I go to my dialogue, and see if I can hear it in their voice. If I can, I keep it. -

...Be brave enough to tell jokes. I genuinely can't tell you how much I don't think I'm funny. Every joke I write in my fic, I have no idea if anyone else will enjoy it, or if it only makes me laugh. But I put it in there, for me. I'm lucky, bc now some people tell me they found a joke amusing, and I'll know it landed with someone else other than me. But you tell jokes with your friends, presumably, and you're playful with them. So allow your characters to joke with each other, even if you're scared that no one else will 'get it'. If no one else finds it funny, at least the characters are having fun! -

Anyway, those are my main 'tips', I don't know if any of them are helpful!!

My other one main piece of advice is... read. Seriously. Even if the media you want to write for isn't a literary novel, read other people's writing, and I do mean both fic and published books, because published books (if they're good) have an editor. I read a lot of books/webtoons/manga before I ever wrote a fic... like for 12 years or something. I was a big reader, and reading good writing is useful - it's inspiring, it's also just technically helpful. These writing tips might be useless, because lot of what I've done in my own writing I've learned through osmosis - just by reading a fuck tonne of books, good and bad. I'm not saying you have to read 60 books a year or w/e, but read like, a few good books!

(also, just write a bunch. I am only becoming a 'read' fic author on my 11th project??? basically??? so I've had a lot of practice at this point, and grown in confidence. The more things you finish, the more ambitious you get. I couldn't have conceived of Pieces when I was writing my first fanfic, bc I thought plot was my main weakness... now I'm writing an almost entirely original premise and that's bc I've learned a lot since I started writing!)

[biconickyoshi]

ive already put a comment on ur fic but i couldnt let it go without saying that i *literally* cant watch the main show without thinking about your fic and i wish that i could like. watch a version of the show that was your fic xD like ive been ranting and raving to my friends the entire time id been reading it and telling them to read it and i was planning on trying to get back into art so i could make some art of the boys, i am like. a changed person. this will be living in the back of my head rent free for the rest of eternity LMAO if you ever get like, doubtful of your skills or anything or unsure if people actually like anything youve wrote, i am here to tell u to not be cus i am *living* for this fic im running around in circles rereading it and getting zoomies lmfao, it is literally one of my fave fics of all time and ive been in fandom spaces for half my life now, its THAT GOOD (also anyone who follows you, you guys need to go read it honestly, IT NEEDS MORE HITS AND KUDOS AND AAAAGFAHGAF) im sorry if this ask is dumb or anything but. i had to let u know that u have CHANGED ME lmfao keep up the good work! i wish my brain worked the way yours does xD

Aaaaa it's so flattering to hear all of this anon!!! T-T Thank you so much!! I too very much wish there was a version of my show that was my fic lmao, I would loveeee to see so many scenes animated! Also it makes me SO happy to know that you're telling your friends about The Avatar and the Fire Prince!!! If you ever draw any fan art, pleaseeee mention me in the post and feel free to use "the avatar and the fire prince" and/or "taatfp" as a tag to help me find it! :)

Thank you so much for the encouraging words as well - I try not to get too in my head with worrying about whether or not people will like what I have planned for future plotlines, or if I'm writing in a way that stays true to the spirit/plot of the OG show while still being different enough to be entertaining/engaging... AtLA is such a precious piece of media to me, so I hold myself to very high standards, which can be detrimental when I just want to get a chapter out but I keep rereading it and finding little things "wrong" that need to be fixed lol.

Anyways this is NOT a dumb ask at all anon! I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to send this to me, and I apologize for not getting to it sooner! I've been a bit swamped with asks and comments recently so I've been trying to answer them in small chunks at a time haha

Hope you have a great day, and I'm super excited for you to see what I have planned for the future of TAatFP! :) <3

[dragongutsixofficial]

for oc ask game 3, 15 and 24?

Thanks for the ask, my friend !^^

3- Biggest self-insert OC ?

Oooh that is a tricky question. I have so many OCs from so many fandoms and even some who are not tied to any existing piece of media !^^

I have to say though, probably the ice mage I played (and still do sometimes !) with my sister after we got The Best Videogame Ever: Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies. She holds within her characterization a lot of who I was as a young kid- some of which I'd like to get back. I was so confident as a kid, it's pretty incredible !

I can also tell you about the biggest fail to make a self-insert OC: Siyn Eisner, my beloved Bylethsona. The idea behind her creation was simple: I wanted an avatar who would represent me as a player the same way people created their Linksonas. At first, she was just an idea in the back of my mind, and not very developed- and that's the way she stayed until I started a fe3h roleplay with my dear friend.

And Sothis be damned, Siyn went way out of my control. She became her own, beautiful character. Of course, there are always things that she gets from me: but no more or less than any other OC of mine. And she inspired me in turn !

In general though, every OC of mine has some elements of my personality woven into theirs, even if I don't do it consciously. For instance, with my new Seven of Hearts OCs (OCs I created for a future webcomic, hopefully):

Heilig (he/him) is sarcastic and drags his feet. He doesn't do well when he's taken out of his comfort zone and hates taking risks. He sticks by the rules and is a bit tunnel-visionned. That's how I can be sometimes: and while there's nothing wrong with it, it can quickly become unhealthy: his character arc will partially be around him learning how to take a chill pill.

Keuse (she/her), Heilig's little sister, has more of that rebellious streak: but most of all, she wants the best for her brother and he wants the best for her. She wants him to understand that although she might be younger, it's just as much her responsibility to protect him in her eyes. I'm a younger sibling who wants my sister to know I'll always be here to protect her, just as she does me.

Same goes for Camille (he/she), who has that very naive side to him, and who definitely has undiagnozed ADHD. And so it is for every one of my OCs !

14- How many projects do you have going on right now? Are there any that you doubt you’ll ever finish?

HahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA-

When I received your ask I was like, "No prob, Imma make a google sheet and write everything down" and that's why I took some time to answer your ask. I have already given up on that. I don't even know where to start. I have so many WIPs. So many animatics living rent-free in my head. Some of which I am sure will never get done.

For instance, when the live-action version of The Little Mermaid came out, I was incredibly hyped by the new version of Part of your World and for weeks I was like, "I'M GONNA DRAW AN ANIMATIC OF A MERMAID TRANSMASC BYLETH WITH THIS SO BAD" and... yeah i'm still at the first frame.

I am pretty confident about finishing my first fic published on AO3 though, which I had given up on after one(1) chapter. But I got inspired by amazing writers @paracosmicat & @ninadove to pick it up again and I've entirely rewritten the first chapter + written two more chapters already (none of which are posted yet because I'd like to get ahead this time). I'm a lot happier with this version !^^ It's a fanfic delving into the dynamics of Edelgard/Zagreus (from Hades), which should eventually turn into a series exploring the Edelgard/Byleht/Zagreus/Thanatos polycule.

3- Do you have/want a career in your medium ? If not, what do you do/want to do instead ?

Drawing, as you will have noticed, is my passion and really the main way I get the wormbrains out. And if I don't draw for a while I will just want to bang my head against a wall repeatedly. So I definitely want a career in it. Being a video game designer would be a dream job.

For circumstances out of my control, I'm studying something else at the moment. On a good note, I just got out of two years of a formation which made me absolutely miserable and barely left me any time to draw !!! So there's that. But I do fully intend on finding a way to work in the art field someday ! >=D

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

luckily for you I have a list of my hcs for the mercs genders, sexualities, and relationships bc my memory is ass- ANYWAY head and neck surgery my beloved <3

Demo has not one but TWO romantic partners who help him w/his self-esteem- it’s practically impossible for him to feel like a one-eyed monster when Medic is rambling about how his bones are in very good shape and his blood vessels are quite nice and his empty eye socket provided plenty of opportunities to experiment (before the team got fed up of fighting giant haunted Demo’s eye) and when Sniper is sitting quietly next to him, amusedly watching Medic pace as he continues to ramble but telling Demo that he does have a point while looking at him with nothing but care in their eyes

selective mutism Sniper (thank you for opening my eyes btw) sticking by Demo or Medic’s side whenever he’s out in large, crowded public places and can’t talk bc she knows they’ll talk for her if need be (and very heatedly tell off anyone who tries to force Sniper to speak). or whenever Sniper’s feeling drained/exhausted/just doesn’t want to deal with the vibrating mass of (sibling) energy that is Scout, they’ll seek out Demo or Medic or both bc he knows Demo will mellow out to match her energy and Medic will tone it down from 11- just for him. it reminds her that she’s loved, and that they do care about him

Demo hanging around while Medic’s doing an experiment and helping in what small ways he can, Sniper listening intently when Medic goes on one of his scientific rambles, and both of them just generally being there for Medic and doing small things that stick out to him and make him feel a little less crazy, and a lot less like the odd one out. like all of Medic’s partners, they check up on him whenever he falls into intense workaholic mode, and Medic came up with the idea to send one of his doves with a note attached to their feet to Demo or Sniper to let them know he’s doing okay when he knows they’re worrying about him but can’t come check themselves

tl;dr the funny teufort people live in my head rent free and they’re fighting with the other pieces of media up there

THIS IS SOOOO EVERYTHING ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. I'm so abnormal abt them I'm sorry GOD they r so everything. I wanna get a better grasp on Medic I wanna make stuff abt them. God

[zuzajs14]

Thanks for tagging me @birdstiel 💕

I guess we are doing it. Let's expose ourselves.

8 series to get to know me:

- Supernatural - obviously. my current hyperfixation as you can all tell. I am rather obsessive consumer of media but there are not that many shows close to my heart. and while I despise it deeply (I am a writer and bad storytelling kills me), I am also unable to not love it. this show had many great ideas and even bigger potential, many amazing characters who's story I woul love to explore. the unused or misused or badly used possibilities... damn it.

- Once Upon a Time - listen, i know it's low budget with shitty special effects (the poorly done fire every fucking time). but this is my comfort show. the idea is great, there are a lot of strong women (and one pirate who I am madly in love with). it's not very bright but I never needed it to be. it's just... fairytales, you know. comfort. and my beloved trait of gray morality - evil is made, not born ect, ect

- Doctor Who - this shit saved me. i am not sci fi person much (with exceptions, sure). but this silly man(I use it as a gender neutral term, like - damn, man) in a box, that fights the good fight... a pacifist that killed whole races (the bad ones, sure, but you know). and this otherworldly creature just struggles with so many emotions and is damned to feel forever lonely while having so many people live them... It's AAAAA. sure there are bad episodes. but who cares. i love it

- Our flag means death - you may not now this about me (but everyone in rl DOES as it's my personality) but I love pirates. like a lot. so obviously I care the silly gay pirates show. and I generally like Taika's projects. it's just adorable. makes me feel warm and fuzzy. and has a bit of angst. niceeee

- What we do in the shadows - again, silly and gay. i like gay media, what a suprise. and I love dumb characters. and they are all sooooo fucking stupid. love it. and ya know, vampires ( i have pirates and vampires, I need silly gay cowboys next)

- Game of Thrones - I am still so fucking mad. but I am also a sucker for dark fantasy. the costumes, the drama, the freaking politics and magic. also Jaime and Brienne. this dynamic is all to me. i've read the books to. and it's good storytelling. but unfinished... so sure the show fucked it up. tragic, really (still not emotionally ready to rewatch it dhdjdjd)

- Good Omens - Neil Gaiman is my favourite author. Really. Terry Pratchett is high on that list too. and as Neil supervised this adaptation... and it has David Tennant and Michael Sheen... couldn't go wrong. and is just hilarious and tender and full of love (and biblical motives which is something I value a lot - Gabriel shouting he's buying pornography lives rent free in my head)

- Broadchurch - you can't tell by this list but I like criminal shows too! (I was thinking os putting Sherlock on the list cause I care it a lot too and bonded with my mum over it buuuuut... somehow Broadchurch won, being fresher in my memory) again it has David Tennant, who's work I enjoy a great deal. and it's really good story that kept me on my toes. first season is my favourite

Huh. It was hard choosing only 8. Special mentions go to Sherlock, The Terror and One Piece (pirates!)

Okay, I will shut up now. This is way too long anyhow

No pressure tags (I still hate tagging people, I don't want to annoy anyone but I am curious about yours!)

@naughtystiel @fluffsnake @valeron99 @archervale @werepires (still intimated by you but if you want 👉👈)

And anyone who wants to! You can tag me and I will defo read it! I would gladly see all of my mutuals do it, but as I haven't talked to most of you, I am still shy about bothering you...

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 27: The Fandom Experience

I saw a post that I basically agreed with but instead of reblogging it I’m making my own post saying something very similar. It was about what qualities in a piece of media make it fandom-izable. I actually have thought about this a lot. For me, first off, a true fandom experience is one that’s centered on transformative works. I have been in fandoms where that aspect was fairly small—but those have been experiences that sit on the edges of the definition, for me. Like being obsessed with the same thing as my friends in high school: we were a mini IRL-fandom-group, doing a lot of the obsessing and discussing and squeeing you would do in any fandom, but we’re also just friends hanging out. In a completely different way, Star Trek is a complex fandom experience for me, for reasons I’ll get into. But speaking really generally, “getting into fandom” for me is “writing and reading fanfic related to this piece of media.” There might be other activities, too, like discussions and meta etc., but the transformative works aspect is central.

So, yes, I agree with the original post that, paradoxically, media that is too good is not ripe for turning into a fandom. If a story feels complete in and of itself, well-told and compact without filler, with all of the parts accounted for, everything working together perfectly to tell THIS story exactly as it needs to be told, and upon completing it, I feel satisfied and content, that’s an excellent story. That’s a wonderfully made piece of media. I will appreciate it. I will love it. I may even be lowkey obsessed with it for some period of time. But there’s nothing for me to do, you know? I neither want nor feel like I can contribute anything to this. Similarly, anything I love too much or think is too perfect becomes too intimidating for me to touch.

On the other hand, I disagreed with the OP that media that is ‘bad’ or a real hot mess is really where fandom comes in. The very first ingredient is I have to like the thing, you know? I have to really like it. It has to live rent-free in my head, and it needs to stay there so long that eventually I start thinking, ‘hey what if I helped it stick around longer by writing fic of it?’

So I think for me there are really three elements organic to the media itself that makes it a potential fandom for me:

It’s good. The most obvious one perhaps but essential. Fandom is about loving the thing. You can also be critical of the thing; you can eventually develop a love-hate relationship with the thing, but if at the core, you don’t love it, then why would you waste your time on unpaid labor relating to it? This is ‘fun work,’ basically. You’re not getting paid so you better be having a good time. This is the element that sparks the initial interest, that makes me want to keep thinking, and thinking, and thinking about the thing. But this element is also present in a lot of works that I have no fandom-ish interest in.

But it’s not too good. I need to feel like there’s some sort of transformative works space. One element of this is that if I think the original is just TOO good and TOO perfect, I won’t feel comfortable getting in and playing around with it myself. This isn’t fully rational, but it is true. Another related element, which is also an aspect of point #3, is that if I feel the story this media is telling is complete, I won’t feel any need to mess with that story: it’s done.

It includes a variety of diverse elements and feels open. This one is hard to boil down into one sentence because this element can be present in a variety of different ways, but another way of distilling it is: there’s room to play. If the story feels complete and perfect in and of itself, there’s nothing for me to do, no transformative works space. I can love the thing (see the related point #2), but I won’t enter the fandom for it. On the other hand, if the media has an expansive world, or a large number and variety of characters, or an open story with a lot of blank spaces—or, yes, something to fix, though again if there’s too much to fix I won’t even get to this step—then I feel creative and inspired and interested.

This framework doesn’t fully explain every fandom experience I’ve had but the fandoms I’ve felt the strongest about and been in the longest tend to fit it very well. If number 3 is lacking or weak, I might be there for a while, but then leave when I sort of run out of things to do, or when the fandom itself breaks up or weakens as a whole and the community is gone. (Presence of community is sort of a 4th element, but I don’t pick fandoms based on popularity or ‘where people are going’ so I didn’t include it.)

I think this explains why I’ve been in T100 fandom for 334879098347 years: because it is a pretty paradigmatic example of how this works in my brain. The first two seasons are excellent, and season three had a lot of interesting ideas and standout episodes, even though it also struggled a fair bit with execution. So, they definitely check off box 1, and part of box 2 as well: they weren’t perfect, and there was a lot of space, especially in S3, for ‘what if what you were trying to do but better’ type transformative works ideas, but it was still really excellent in a lot of ways. Then seasons 4-7 were a straight up unwatchable hot mess. But their existence kept the fandom going such that I still had a community to hang out in even though I’d totally ceased watching the show by the end of S4. And 7 years is a long enough time, enhanced by it being a week-to-week show, for that community to grow and develop and stabilize, that even though that community has shrunk severely, it’s not totally dead or not worth contributing to.

And finally and most importantly, it definitely fits box 3: an ensemble cast so huge I would actually argue that maybe it was too huge; multiple locations; expansive but also half-assed worldbuilding… there were a lot of IDEAS in this show and an extremely wonky execution that’s really just perfect for transformative works creation. And (some of) the characters being the show’s strongest asset makes it easy to use them as basically just crutches for original storytelling, when you want to go so far off the canon that you’re basically one step away from filing off the serial numbers.

A fandom like Star Trek is a little harder to fit into the paradigm. AOS fits in fairly well and that’s been my main ‘online Star Trek fandom’ in a lot of ways. Certainly that’s where I was almost exclusively in the STIX era. I have a real fondness for these movies but they’re also hot messes. The characters are endlessly interesting (even I actually only care about a fairly small number of them personally) and the universe is literally very expansive. TOS is harder because it doesn’t check off Box 2 for me. Like I really do see it as intimidatingly perfect and I don’t want to mess with it. I have only barely dipped my toe into any sort of TOS-based fanfic writing. But I also have been in the fandom for it in the broader sense since I was a kid. Outside of the transformative works aspect, I interact with it in a very fandom-y way: rewatches, meta, discussion, but also fan conventions and involvement in the shared-fandom-community spirit that really defines the phenomenon outside of transformative works. So I guess what I’m saying is that it is a very normal fandom experience but it’s divorced from that fanfic-centric aspect that otherwise controls my fandom experiences.

[halforcdad]

I watched POI when it already finished airing so whenever I see someone said they watched it when it was still airing I went

Oh honey

Oh dear

Oh sweetie

You watched it live?? You watched 5x10 live?? Not knowing whats going to happen??? *Give you a hug*

I already know what was coming and still that episode left me heart broken just shattered emotionally (which is to say, also, that good writing can still make an impact even when the audience knows what's going to happen so take notes Marvel)

On another note, the 4x11 self-sacrifice lives in my head rent-free. "If you die die for something that you love" and "i'm a sociopath i dont have feelings" then she goes and kisses Root and saves them all I am on the floor bawling

the funny part is i saw bts photos from the finale that showed root and reese together and i naively thought, 'ok cool they still might die, but at least they survive until the end' and the writers really said Lol. but considering the type of show it was (and what happened to carter) and how dire things were going in s4-s5 i kinda prepared for character deaths leading up to the season. it left me numb and sad for a while, but i dont remember being extremely devastated about it. all the stuff we got with shaw dealing with it afterwards, however, that shit hurt bad. and unfortunately i love angst a lot (the writers were very good at writing sad stuff!)

my main complaint is that the death was so sudden and kinda anticlimatic (but i guess there has to be one of those to further stress how much their backs were against the wall). everyone else in the show gets a poetic death/sacrifice scene and in carter's case, at least she was killed by a significant villain in her arc and we're allowed to really feel the pain and consequences of her death, root gets taken out by a guy who started the job like two weeks ago and no time to mourn bc we're in a war Lol (and they had to rub salt in the wounds by showing us her for-sure dead body and telling us samaritan dug it up to get her implant, which while realistic, was brutal).

i feel like a lot of people talk about it as one of the worst writing decisions, but i can see why they chose to keep root's fate the same. yes, it sucked to losing a wlw character (especially when that was so close to clexa, if im not getting my times wrong), but i don't believe lgbt media should only be happy, soft stuff and that lgbt characters should be plot armor protected always. i still found a lot of meaning and emotion in the ending we got with shaw carrying on the work her team left behind with the machine and having some small piece of root to hold on to (and shaw being the only one next to fusco who never really had a lot of direct contact with the machine, getting the chance now to work closely with it and understand root more maybe that way). the show was always dealing with death/loss and grief and emphasizing how people still leave significant legacies behind and stay with us even if it's just the influence and impact they left on their surviving loved ones. i would still prefer if it had ended differently, but at least I could understand the message they were going for.

ill never stop loving 4x11 it's genuinely one of my favorite tv episodes ever. poi was very good at normalising shaw's apd and everything they did with shaw and especially what they did in the aftermath of that episode ripped me to shreds (her telling simulation root that she was her safe place and then telling real root she'd rather die than get them all killed, that made me totally normal). shaw getting the big emotional, meaningful moments in 4x11 (in the machine's simulation when she shows root one last act of kindness with 'maybe someday', the subway scene with the bomber, and of course the ending scene) was so important and well done. and root's slow-moed reactions at the end were gut-wrenching i must have rewatched that scene maybe 1000 times.

[greenorangevioletgrass]

Concept for a Fine Line blurb that has been living in my head rent free: Y/N and Will are spotted by paps holding hands or something (something that could be ambiguous but implied to be romantic, esp with their heart eyes for each other) and during an interview together the interviewer ambushes them with the photos before either of them have seen it and asks if they are a couple (so like, public speculation about their relationship bc they're both famous)

shoutout to media training and our girl being a badass diplomat in handling these issues!

warnings: secret lovers, nothing else really <3

***

the two of them wanted to keep it lowkey. ban the press from asking about their relationship in the promotional tour of their movie if they could. but the whole movie hangs on their chemistry, and their publicist watches from the sideline, making sure nobody puts a single toe out of line.

but of course, one always slips out.

the press conference is going well enough, and nobody thinks of anything when a middle-aged man in the middle row raises his hand and gets the mic.

"a lot of people are making speculations about your relationship since you were seen out together multiple times during this press tour. any comment on that?"

y/n knows exactly what this journalist is talking about. their first date in venice, just outside the restaurant. huddling in close at the berlin photocall. lounging together by the hotel swimming pool. not enough to confirm their relationship, but definitely raises enough questions about their status.

she could feel the buttholes of everyone in the panel clenching. but she throws a reassuring smile at her publicist, who's ready to shut it down, and steps up.

"i mean, we get to travel to all these beautiful cities, and sometimes we're only staying for such a short time that all we see is our hotel rooms and the press rooms." the conference hall bubbles in light chuckles. "so, when we got an extra few hours to eat a local restaurant or see the sights, you bet your ass we're gonna take it."

the crowd and the panel loosen up a little more now, laughing a little more openly. but she sees will within her periphery, one hand squeezing another as he tries to keep his nerves at bay. so she straightens up to deliver the final blow to the question.

"and as for the speculations... it's really none of our business, isn't it?" it sounds harsh at first, and the room falls silent. but she smiles and continues on. "i mean, it's none of my business to tell you guys what to think about two actors getting dinner and drinks after work–although personally, isn't that the most boring piece of news ever?"

the press relaxes again, relieved to find that she's not throwing a fit. and she can see will biting back a smile, stealing a quick glance she way. she looks away towards the crowd, though her leg inches closer to his, and their shoes meet. touching and nuzzling and connecting in plain sight.

[creativeashproductions]

Songbird Shenanigans // Charlie Gillespie

IN WHICH: The reader will routinely sneak away from her band/hotel to continue her tour shenanigans in parking garages. A way for the young star to return to the stupid years where the concert venue was a car and the mic was the steering wheel. As each city comes and goes with the tour, one thing never changes, driving to parking garages to scream songs at the top of your lungs.

Warnings: Swearing, Mamma Mia songs (oops), and fluff

Words: 4.0k (with lyrics included)

A/N: There’s something endearing about Charlie randomly going a stranger in a duet and dance without a care. This was loosely inspired by the chaotic live they did when Jeremy and Charlie stayed at Owen’s place. I loved Charlie’s tropical shirt giving Animal Crossing vibes.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

A moment you had desired for a while finally came around in Oklahoma City during the free day between the two concerts. The pure quiet away from the interviews, photoshoots and demanding life of a musician. Yet despite wanting this time, you definitely felt bored, which only meant one thing.

A new video for your followers as you had done since the beginning of your successful career. Back before, you had the prominent following you had; now you would travel singing in your car, and then one video got viral. That elevated your following until you had signed a record deal with your brand new agent.

A series was then born of driving at night to the parking lots and garages in the city you temporarily visited. You'd park and sing any suggested songs from a previous video for an hour to see if a fan could find you. It was a fun game you had developed.

Y/N Y/L/N: Another installment of Songbird Shenanigans. From 9pm to 10:30pm, I'll be somewhere in Oklahoma City. Come find me for the prize!

Your agent both hated and loved the series as it brought attention to your career and songs but also was a hazard during the tour. The risk of losing your voice made your agent nervous, but the positives outweigh the negatives.

"What song are you doing?" Maddie asked from her chair in your hotel suite with a ratty book in her hand. Her rich dark hair pulled up in a high bun with a few pieces of bangs pulled down to hang free.

You didn't know if you could do what you do if you didn't have Maddie by your side as your singing partner and chief stylist. Maddie also always knew without looking on social media when you had a new installment coming.

"My most requested video is Train Wreck by-"

"James Arthur." Maddie snickered with her grey eyes pinned to the page she was reading faithfully. The book had seen better days, but it was her absolute favourite one by far and one of the only physical books she had.

"Somehow forgot you had it on repeat for a week straight." You snorted, shoving a hat on your head for warmth. A plain black coat pulled over your arms that matched the warm boots you had chosen, "I'll send you my location."

Maddie waved on hand in response, having known the routine since you first started this fun series. It allowed you a bit of your old life when the concerts you performed was solely in your car with the steering wheel as the microphone.

Judy, your agent, was sitting in the lobby with her binder surrounding her when she looked with a sigh. Without a word, she tossed the keys to the rented car she knew you'd need, so in each city, she rented one. A smile of gratitude shared before you were out the door with your hood up.

"Be careful!" Judy exclaimed just as the sliding doors closed behind you, sending you out in the cold night.

Almost instantly, your cheeks turned a light pink in the cold winter air, even if the walk to the war was short. As requested, the car was a newer model but one that would blend in with other city cars. It made finding you harder, but the windows couldn't be tinted.

"Here's to hoping I get a place with good acoustics." You muttered, starting the hatchback vehicle. Despite the cold winter weather, the road conditions were surprisingly okay, but then again, you were from a small town. Roads were shit in general.

You didn't bother playing music as you used the drive to find a parking garage and warm up your throat. Your vocal coach would have your head if you didn't warm-up, and then Judy would kill you even more.

You lucked out in a parking garage to a building that seemed to be a renovated warehouse with insanely cool windows. The metal was a dark shamrock green with a multitude of small rectangular glass between the metal. The panes swung open upwards in a fascinating design.

"Perfect." You muttered, signalling to turn into the parking garage that was easily accessed and without any trespassing signs. It was desolate, with cars parked here and there in the stalls.

A bright orange Subaru definitely took the cake as the most 'flashy' vehicle among the more nondescript ones. Not that it caught your attention when you lowered your windows marginally while simultaneously clipping the phone onto the dash. Immediately you double-checked for any apparent signs to your location before declaring it safe; with a tap of your finger, your Instagram live began.

"Welcome to another part of our Songbird Shenanigans. This time I'm in Oklahoma City for a two-day concert. The most requested song is Train Wreck by James Arthur."

Laying in the silence

Waiting for the sirens

Signs, any signs I'm alive still

I don't wanna lose it

I'm not getting through this

Hey, should I pray? should I pray

A natural instinct of closing your eyes as you got more into the music occurred. Your voice belted into the garage beautifully. Tons of comments appeared in the insta live chat of both supportive and haters.

username3: I suggested this song!!!

username88: Your voice goes perfectly with the song.

The song came to an end quicker than you would have liked since it was definitely one of your favourites to sing.

Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet

Pull me out of the train wreck

Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out

Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out

No action was helped back from taking a swig of water from the reusable bottle you had brought along. Your eyes scoured the comments for more suggestions or things that stuck out.

"Why don't you include hints in the Songbirds?” You read out from the comment section with a smile barely held back, "Why would I? You all know that my windows are often down, and even the most unoriginal locations have tells. There's been a few people that have found me."

Username13: I think I know where you are (insert heart emoji)

          ↳Username63: username13 where?! How do you know?

          ↳Username13: jatp is streaming all day and the guys are in a car. Same background

Your eyes read the short but interesting conversation between the two different accounts on something called jatp? Whatever that was.

"Any other requests?" You asked, scrolling through the suggestions, "Sing something from jatp? I'm sorry, guys, but I have no clue what that is? Is it a movie? OH! It's a show. My bad."

The comment section was flooded, "Okay! Let me look up the lyrics and the melody!"

Three males: a blonde and two brunettes, walked between the rows of both occupied and unoccupied parking spots. The blonde wearing a black t-shirt with BEANS written across the chest and the brunette with short slicked-back hair crowded the middle guy. All three pairs of eyes watched the iPhone stream the television series.

"I call shotgun!" Owen spoke as the car in question came into view, "We gotta Livestream in the car again!"

"Your neighbour sucks, man." Charlie groaned, nudging Jeremy to unlock the car when the older man hesitated.

"If we're going live in the car, we should cover your license plate," Jeremy suggested to a resounding agreement. 

Charlie drove an obscenely vibrant coloured car that could be picked out quickly, so he didn't need any help in broadcasting his location. Owen grabbed the book from the passenger seat to angle it to lean against the plate.

"Done!" Owen called, racing back to climb into the car with his friends. The blonde-haired man bounced in his seat as the owner of the vehicle set up the screen.

In seconds, the streaming went from the app on the phone to the car's built-in screen to the boys' delight. In a moment of what some may call brilliance and others stupidity Owen went live on Instagram with Charlie joining him swiftly.

"Do you rem-"

Username76: Songbird chose a shitty location.

           ↳Username 39: Or we just got a Hail Mary hint

"Who is Songbird?" Charlie questioned, leaning closer to his friends in the front, catching a few comments.

The comments were mixed among other unrelated ones, but all had Songbird, Shenanigans or both words. The mystery was so intriguing the boys turned down the show to scour the comments for tidbits.

"Wait? Do you hear that?" Jeremy questioned, scanning the parking garage with his blue, green eyes. Soon his head was sticking out the window, "Someone is singing here."

Jeremy's hand turned the key of the car, "Is that-"

"Oh, no." Owen groaned, seeing that specific light appear in Charlie's eyes just as it did each time one of the songs came on. His pink beanie slid around his long blonde locks.

The two guys watched as the second oldest in their group did some kind of shimmy after pushing his phone to Jeremy. Jeremy's hand scrambled to get a grip on the phone as Charlie delved into his love for these songs. Sharing a look, Jeremy and Owen followed the Canadian to a car with a girl singing in the open hatchback car.

(Italics is you! Italics and bold is Charlie and you! Just bold is Charlie!)

When you were lonely, you needed a man.

Someone to lean on, well I understand

It's only natural

But why did it have to be me?

Your eyes remained shut as you neared the middle of the first verse. You completely stopped when a voice joined. Your e/c eyes met the twinkling brown of a handsome guy with the best voice you'd heard in a long time.

Nights can be empty, and nights can be cold

So you were looking for someone to hold

That's only natural

But why did it have to be me?

Your lips parted in a grin as you grabbed the hand being offered to be pulled out of the car; on your way, your hand nudged your phone. Your phone was in a mount attached to the roof of the hatch. When you followed the stranger, the phone turned in perfect view. Your free hand turned to hover over your forehead, legs bending to feign a swoon.

I was so lonesome, I was blue

I couldn't help it, it had to be you and I

Always thought you knew the reason why

Charlie beamed playing being shot by the arrow you pretended to shoot with a grin planted on your own lips. Charlie's hand flirted with your hip as you sashayed around his body from his left to his right. Hand grabbing a first full of his white with light teal with light pink design to tug him chest to chest.

I only wanted a little love affair

Now I can see you are beginning to care

But baby, believe me

It's better to forget me

In turn, Charlie grabbed your wrist to twirl you into his arms straight into an impressive dip with the toe of your shoe pointed to the far wall. Your fingers just barely caressing the rough paved lot.

"I'm Charlie," Charlie murmured during the instrumental between the chorus and the second verse. Your eyes scanned his features with an expression you would later be glad was hidden from the lighting in the garage.

"Y/N." You breathed, clutching his shoulders still low in the dip, hoping subconsciously that your breath was still fresh.

"Wanna finish this?" Charlie spoke, searching your eyes with his own; up close, you could see his eyes were a mixture of colours. You only nodded before he continued singing to the music.

Men are the toys in the game that you play

When you get tired, you throw them away

That's only natural

But why did it have to be me?

"Are you seeing this?" Jeremy whispered to Owen as they watched Charlie literally sweep a stranger off her feet. Owen could only nod as Charlie went into the next verse, still dancing as if he was in Mamma Mia 2.

Falling in love with a woman like you

Happens so quickly, there's nothing to do

It's only natural

But why did it have to be me?

Charlie spun you back away from his body in a graceful twirl your choreographer would be incredibly proud of. The moves you made somehow made sense, with the movements matching the spontaneous duet-er.

I was so lonesome, I was blue

I couldn't help it, it had to be you and I

Always thought you knew the reason why

Once more in his arms dancing, he dipped you once more as you finished the end of the last chorus breathing heavily. The two strangers staring intensely into each other's eyes with an intense look that had tensions in the parking garage.

I only wanted a little love affair

Now I can see you are beginning to care

But baby, believe me

It's better to forget me

"Intense." Owen chuckled as Charlie raised you back onto your feet with a matching grin to yours, "Oh! Look at the comments!"

Username24: Holy shit! They ooze chemistry!!

           ↳Username9: lol, okay Alex. 

"You aren't a viewer, are you?" You breathlessly laughed, taking a step away from Charlie as the music faded away.

The equally breathless spontaneous performing partner laughed as well, "I heard the song and hoped for the best."

"Are you Songbird?" Came a voice from a few feet away. Behind the once upon a time stranger stood two males approaching slowly.

"Oh!" You gasped, turning on your heel to see where your phone was pointing, "Well, that's convenient! One moment."

Jeremy and Owen flanked Charlie as you repositioned the phone at the moment with practised precision. You kept the three people out of the shot for privacy reasons.

"There is about ten minutes away from the end of this installment being over. For the first time since we started this series, I had a duet." You playfully laughed, looking over at the trio, "It's completely up to my sudden partner, but would you like to meet your audience?"

Charlie simply shrugged, "Sure. They've seen you be serenaded by a stranger."

A short laugh came from the three individuals around Charlie as he moved into the camera frame with a large smile. As soon as he was in sight, the comment section went nuts, furthering when Owen and Jeremy came into view.

Username1: DREAM COME TRUE

           ↳Username4: omg jatp in Songbird Shenanigans?? Life accomplished.

You couldn't hold back the snort at the comments you could read quickly as they disappeared after new ones. The three guys couldn't help but chuckle as well.

"I've never seen these guys before. If you could introduce yourselves." You asked the three guests, to which each sent a reassuring smile to your hesitance.

"I'm Charlie Gillespie, and these are my friends Owen Joyner and Jeremy Shada." Charlie took the liberty of introducing both his friends and himself. His heart fluttered at the adorable smile that had appeared on your pretty face.

"I'm afraid this concludes this edition of Songbird." You apologized to the camera as the time passed the allotted hour and a half. The comments turned sad before most of them started sending questions, "I'll let you know when I do another edition! Bye for now!"

Your finger clicked the end button firstly before clicking the save button for when you would upload it to your account later.

"Thank you for doing that. I'm Y/N." You chuckled, shaking hands with Jeremy and Owen, who each grinned back, "So what brought you guys to the parking garage with three phones and a live-action Animal Crossing shirt?"

Amusement was found on all four young adults in the parking garage, pinning a gaze at the material. You had to admit you kinda adored the shirt, or maybe the person wearing it was the reason.

"We're trying to get Julie and the Phantoms to number one again." Owen offered as he displayed the live still going on his phone. 

"That's a tv series. That was the second song I did on the live before Charlie joined the little concert." You told the boys all the while aware that thousands of people watched from the phone still streaming.

"The phone's about to die." Owen piped up, catching the single decimal number broadcasting the percentage. Without any prompting, he ended the live to save it solely for the little performance Charlie did.

"Did you save it?" Jeremy asked, lifting on his tiptoes to check the phone Owen had commanded for the last half hour. Like Owen, Jeremy wanted to save it solely for the stellar performance.

"So, how'd this series start?" Charlie questioned, pushing his hands into his pockets, ignoring the subtle glances of his best friend.

"I needed an escape from touring so many cities. It's reminiscent of the days before I was discovered. When my audience was the dials in my car and my family." You half-smiled, recalling all the times you had simply driven around to sing.

"You're a musician?"

"I am. I'm currently on tour for my second album. Every second or third city I'm performing in, I take the rented car to parking lots or garages to sing. I always have a prize for the fans that find me."

"Could I get your number?" Charlie hesitantly questioned. His features twisting with the manipulation of nerves.

His palms had gone clammy enough to inconspicuously wipe them on his legs; this version of Charlie was unfamiliar. Owen and Jeremy had only ever seen him as this bundle of joy and energy, not to say he didn't have his low days, instead of nervous. Owen slipped his fingers behind his back to cross them. He hoped his Canadian friend would get it.

"You don't leak mine, and I won't leak yours." Your e/c eyes twinkled with the brush of Charlie's warm fingers on your own. The new contact waiting for his information, "Maybe we can meet up with each other?"

"I'd love that."

Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York, Unspecified Date

The sounds of screams and heavy instruments blocked by the unique in-ears explicitly made for your ears alone. You'd heaved, catching a breath after such an energetic song you'd just performed for the sold-out venue. You just jogged to the side for a chug of water as your band switched instruments.

"Are you having fun tonight!" You asked the crowd who had fought tooth and nail for tickets. The crowd screamed back louder than before.

Selling out MSG for completely insane even after touring the country with your band three times. It was still a little jarring, going from a nobody with untapped potential to selling out concerts and very successful albums, in all honesty.

"That's what I like to hear!" You beamed, pushing a strand of your unruly hair away from your face. Your eyes momentarily cast to the side stage with the equipment hiding the crew, "I have a surprise for you. A couple years ago, I had a spontaneous duet partner during one of Songbird Shenanigans. I'd like to invite my fiance Charlie out here."

The crowd went nuts as Charlie wandered towards you from the side of the stage away from Owen, Jeremy and Madison. Charlie's hazel eyes scoured the oceans of your e/c eyes he got to wake up to each morning. Mostly when Julie and the Phantoms had been offered to open for you; to be frank, it was more of an unspoken co-headlining.

"Can we tell?" You asked, keeping the mic covered and away from your body. Your body bounced, waiting for the smile from him.

Charlie nodded, accepting the guitar from one of the crew members. It was a song you had written a few months back. Charlie had memorized the entire piece with the deep adoration he felt for it.

The couple perched on the bar stools brought to the middle of the stage with a secret smile. One that only they and their immediate family understood.

Three months ago, you had sat Charlie down in your home to play him a little song that changed everything.

Charlie placed the last bag of groceries on the counter when he felt arms wrap around his midsection. He immediately knew that it was you welcoming him home from a very short trip to the store. In a swift move, he had manoeuvred you to sit on the counter while he scooched himself between your legs.

"Hi." Charlie breathed, rising to press a kiss against the smooth skin of your cheek, leaving heat in its wake.

"I want your opinion on a song." You burst out, unable to refrain from showing him a song you had been secretly working on. The French Canadian was beyond intrigued by the sudden announcement from his fiance.

"Oh?"

"Come." You coaxed the man from the kitchen to the designated music room filled with instruments of all kinds—even a recent addition of a recording booth in the corner with high-end equipment.

You bypassed everything for the grand piano you didn't play as often as you wished to be able to. Your fingers brushed the ivory keys for a mere second before you began playing the melody.

I, I have known love before

I thought it would no more

Take on a new direction

Still, strange as it seems to be

It's truly new to me

That affection

The smile that grew across Charlie's expressive face was uncapturable from the best of the best; he adored your voice. He had a personal ringtone you had explicitly done for him a few months into the relationship.

I, I don't know what you do

You make me think that you

Will change my life forever

I, I'll always want you near

Give up on you, my dear

I will never

You thrill me, you delight me

You please me, you excite me

You're all that

I've been yearning for

I love you, I adore you

I lay my life before you

I only want you more and more

And finally it seems

My lonely days are through

I've been waiting for you

Charlie's frown, however, faltered as your face ever so slightly paled with trepidation coating your pretty irises. Your voice even quivered with nerves he'd never heard before, but it made sense from the third verse started.

I'll carry you all the way

And you will choose the day

When you're prepared to greet me

I'll be a good mum, I swear

You'll see how much I care

When you meet me

You finished the song with the last note drawn out ever so softly, freezing as the room went quiet once more. This song was definitely vulnerable and personal; you felt naked under Charlie's silent stare.

"You're really?" Charlie breathlessly chuckled, his wide eyes screaming disbelief.

After a few years together with an engagement ring on both of your fingers after you had both proposed to each other, with the relationship very serious, you two had decided to stop contraceptives and let everyone happen if it was too happen.

"Yeah." You laughed as he swept you off the bench into his arms, "We have little Birdie to prepare for."

"I love you so damn much." Charlie choked out, spinning the two of you around in his arms. The smile never fading as he drank in the special moment of learning you had created a life together.

PRESENT

"With the impending arrival of our child, I will be taking a break to prepare. Even though I wouldn't be performing, I will still do Songbird Shenanigans. I'll just have to up my game on staying as hidden as possible." You informed the audience as the song came to an end. 

Next thing you knew, you couldn't discern between the crowd and your friends now on stage screaming. You were able to feel Charlie's hand on your barely-there baby bump and his lips pressed against your temple.

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[berrynarrybanana]

pink lemonade

A/n: I...had a cliche moment of I wrote this and it got deleted bc my computer had a hissy fit while I was trying to find a good pic to use. All I want to say is that I spent weeks agonizing over this piece because I wasn’t sure that it was good enough and that it touched on bi!reader as much as it should. I started it out in Harry’s POV and it kind of just took off from there. This is very heavily based off a song from one of my favorite bands. It’s called pink lemonade by the wombats and it really gave me inspiration to write this whole fic and for my reader and flatmate!h. I hope that I did this justice, because as a bi woman, I know how little representation we get in media and in fics. So thank you to the beautiful @bopbopstyles and @harrysclementines for hosting a challenge that made me feel included. I really appreciate and love you both so much! 

warnings: smut, drug use mention, angst, harry’s pov

word count: 4.3k+

Please enjoy and feel free to tell me what you think! 

Friday Night 

Harry remembers the day he met his flatmate. 

She was a little shorter than him, but her personality definitely made her seem much taller. She had her hair up in a messy bun, her Rolling Stones shirt tucked in, and her jeans cuffed at the bottom. She introduced herself to him with a dazzling smile and a witty joke about being a stereotypical bisexual being. It made him laugh, pulling her into a hug (after asking her permission) because they were going to be flatmates and she needed to know he was a hugger. He didn’t want to start off on an awkward note with a person he would be spending so much time with. He suggested they order some pizza and drink wine on the floor of their living room on their first night. 

Their furniture hadn’t been delivered or moved in yet, so they had to settle for putting a few of y/n’s pillows under their bums while they watched comedy specials on Harry’s laptop. A majority of their evening was spent giggling and sharing stories about their previous experiences with old girlfriends. He found it oddly comforting that the beautiful girl was a little bit different, because he had always felt that way in life. With her, he didn’t feel so alone in being different. Perhaps that was one of the things that made him fall in love with her. She was a bright, radiant soul that brought him more joy than anyone else ever had. But she could be a bit thick, sometimes. 

As he watched her prance around their apartment in her tight mini-dress, he tried his best not to let her see his obvious attraction to her. 

The pillow on his lap would seem obvious to just about anyone else, but not to his precious flatmate. She practically floated through life, oblivious to how people looked at her when she moved. She was like a walking porn ad, her beautiful hair and gorgeous smile nearly impossible to ignore. He tried not to focus too hard on what she was wearing, but christ, it was hard not to. Her legs looked a little longer due to the black heeled booties she’d put on and she was most definitely wearing tights with little sparkles in the fabric. 

He hated seeing her dressed up like this, knowing that he wouldn’t be the one sliding his hands up her dress in the backseat of the taxi on the way home. He wouldn’t be the one gripping at her thighs while she straddled him on their shared couch. He wouldn’t be the one making her scream, unable to contain herself as he pulled orgasm after orgasm out of her. He hated that she was wearing the perfect shade of red on her lips, a shade that painted the walls of the prison cell in his own personal hell inside. He wanted to smear it off her lips with his own, kissing her until she was breathless and begging. 

Instead, he flipped through the channels on the telly, pretending to pay attention.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come out, Harry?” She stood in front of him, pouting her lips out as she tilted her head to the side. He shook his head as she crossed her arms, the gesture pushing her breasts up just a little. Fuck me, Harry thought. “You love going out!” 

“I know, love.” He grumbled, glancing behind her as if she was in the way. “But I’m not really in the mood to party tonight and I don’t want to bring the mood down.” 

“Well, I don’t feel right going out without you.” She sighed, dropping her arms to the side, causing Harry to look up at her. “Maybe I should stay home? We can order takeout and-” 

“Absolutely not.” He shook his head. “You have a date. You can’t stand him up!” 

“He’s just some rando from Tinder, I really don’t care about his feelings.,H.” She snorted out a laugh, rolling those perfect eyes as he tried to fight off a smile. “I’d rather be with you if you’re feeling down.”

“Don’t give up the chance for a good time because I’m a grumpy old man.” He shook his head. “I really want you to go out.” 

“Okay, okay.” She let out a heavy exhale, stepping farther away. “How do I look?” 

“Perfect.” He didn’t tear his eyes away from the telly, knowing he would overshare if he actually looked at her right now. 

“You didn’t even look!” She laughed around a playful groan. “Boys.” 

“I’m a man, love!” He called out as she walked into the kitchen for her keys. “If you’re too drunk, call me. Don’t go home with your random tinder date and-” 

“Lock the door when I’m home.” She nodded. “I know the rules, dad.” 

“Please do not ever call me that again.” Harry narrowed his eyes at her. “Go, get out of here and go have some fun. Tell everyone I said hi.” 

“I will!” She smiled. “Bye, roomie!” 

“Bye!” He waved, his heart sinking as the door shut behind her. “Guess I’ll be having a sad wank about that later.” 

Harry grumbled, sinking further into the cushions of their shared couch. 

                                   ******************************************

Saturday Morning 

The guy from Friday seemed to be a keeper. 

He was there the next morning when Harry was making a hangover breakfast in the kitchen for his flatmate. He strutted  in without a shirt or a word, reaching for a coffee cup as if he owned the place. Last time Harry checked, only two people paid rent here. Harry watched from the stove, spatula in hand as he glared at the man’s back. What a sodding prick. With a quick roll of his eyes, Harry pushed around the potatoes he’d chopped up earlier. Of course she brought him home. It had been weeks since she’d had a proper shag and it was bound to happen sooner or later. And even if Harry hated to admit it, the man standing in his kitchen gave it to her proper. Harry closed his eyes, cringing at memory of her moans melded with the banging of her headboard against the wall last night.

He hadn’t heard her moan out like that in a long time. Halfway through orgasm number two out of god knows how many, Harry shoved his headphones in and tried not to cry. He hated that someone else was making her feel so good that she was screaming the bloody walls down. He wanted to sink into her, to have her screaming out his name instead. But that wasn’t going to happen. Not even in his dreams could he have her, always cutting off right around the time his hands landed on her hips. 

“Oh, didn’t see you there, mate.” The guy turned around. “M’Alfie.” 

“Harry.” He grumbled, reaching up to the heat down. “Y/N’s roommate.” 

“She told me about you.” Alfie nodded. “Said you’re a right laugh when you’re drinking.” 

“Did she now?” Harry hummed as if he was actually interested in the conversation. 

“Shame you didn’t come out with us.” Alfie said. “Y/N was a fucking animal. Have you ever had sex with her? I mean she’s amazing when she’s high.” 

Harry wanted to vomit. 

This guy was a total prick.

“Yeah, what a shame.” Harry cleared his throat, glancing over at Alfie. “When Y/N wakes up, let her know that breakfast is here. She’s going to want two pieces of toast with butter.” 

“I will tell her.” Alfie sipped out of the bright pink mug and Harry’s face grew hot. That was his mug, the one that Y/N got him for Christmas last year. The little lamb on the front with a comical smile was mocking him now. “You alright, mate?” 

“Yeah, I’m stellar.” 

Harry stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall. 

He nearly made it to his door when she stumbled out of her bedroom. 

“Morning, Harry.” She yawned before smiling at her roommate. 

He didn’t respond, ducking past her and into his bedroom. 

Maybe he didn’t really know the girl he loved after all. 

                                            *******************************

Another Magical Friday Night 

Alfie, as it turns out, wasn’t a keeper. 

During their second escapade, Alfie shouting to the top of his lungs pulled Harry out of his half-asleep state. His heart sank and his blood ran cold as he sprinted out of his bedroom to Y/N’s. When he got there, Alfie was storming out of her bedroom, half dressed with a red face. Harry stood in Y/N’s doorway, avoiding her gaze as she struggled to put a t-shirt on. After a few moments, Harry couldn’t stand to hear her soft whimpers and loud sniffles. He tore his own shirt off, walking over to where she was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed in front of her. 

“S’alright,” He cooed, sitting down in front of her as he slipped his shirt over her head. “It’s okay, love.” 

“I’m sorry we woke you up.” She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to the column of his throat as she cried. “I know you have an early yoga class tomorrow.” 

“Please don’t apologize.” He said softly, rubbing his hand over her back. “Tell me what he did?” 

“He didn’t do anything.” She shook her head, pulling back as she wiped at her cheeks. “I just...Alfie dabbles a bit in drugs and I tried some with him last week, but I didn’t like it. I told him I didn’t want to do it again and he called me a whore and a tease.” 

Harry’s jaw tensed as he watched his best friend hiccup, swiping under her eyes again. 

“You are not a whore.” Harry reached up, gripping her chin between his thumb and forefinger, demanding her attention. “Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you need to be ashamed of yourself.” 

“Thank you.” She sniffled. “Sleep with me tonight?” 

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Let’s go to my room instead, okay?” 

He didn’t have the heart to tell her he couldn’t sleep in her bed right now. 

Not after Alfie had been in it. 

“Okay.” She gave him a wavering smile. “Thank you, H.” 

“Anytime.” 

Harry held her that night, his heart pounding against his chest as she cuddled into him. 

As he drifted off, he mumbled out loud, “This must be what heaven feels like.” 

He hoped she didn’t hear him. 

                                            ****************************

Harry decided that if Y/N was going out this Friday, he was too.

He couldn’t stand the thought of her going out without him by her side after last week’s incident with Alfie. There was no Tinder date for her to meet up with, just Harry and a few other friends who wanted to have a good time. They got ready in their shared bathroom together, pre-gaming with whatever they had left as they sang loudly to Harry’s pre-game playlist. When she spritzed her perfume over her neck, Harry’s mouth started to water. 

The warm vanilla and citrus hybrid was damn near a love potion to him. 

“Alright,” She nodded, giving herself a once over in the mirror. “I’m ready.” 

“You look perfect.” He smiled, trailing his eyes up from her vegan, leather combat boots to her black skinny jeans, finally settling on the lacy bodysuit that she had recently purchased. “S’a bit like lingerie, innit it?” 

“Yeah.” She shrugged her shoulders, pursuing her lips as Harry looked at her eyes. “But it’s nice and light and extremely sexy.” 

“One of those nights?” Harry’s brows quirked up and he forced a little smirk to settle on his lips as she nodded. “Good, you deserve a bit of fun.” 

And he actually meant it, this time. 

She did deserve to have a little fun after Alfie

He could suck it up for one night if the girl he loved would be happy at the end of it. 

“I do.” She giggled, reaching down to grab the bottle of tequila set on the bathroom countertop, wiggling it around. “One more shot for good luck?”

“Pour it up.” 

                                         *****************************

Harry bucked his hips up as the girl above him rolled her hips over his denim clad cock. 

This time, he brought someone home. 

Granted, Y/N brought someone home as well, he now had a distraction to keep his mind busy and his cock wet while his flatmate got off. The girl he’d met at the club was so sweet, her hazel eyes enticing him the moment his gaze met hers. Her lips were so soft and they tasted like strawberries. He wondered what Y/N tasted like? They were normally covered in gloss when she went out, shiny and peachy. Did her lips taste like peach? Harry closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as the girl dug her nails into his stomach. 

“Can I take your pants off?” She asked, timid and soft. Nothing like Y/N demanding the naughtiest of things on the other side of the wall. “I’m ready to...I want to ride you.” 

“Okay, yeah.” Harry opened his eyes, sitting up as he wrapped his arms around her. He pressed a few soft kisses over her jaw before catching her mouth in his. “Just a second, love.”

“You’re sweet.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead, swinging her leg over his thighs as he reached for his buttons. 

“Fuck, yes!” 

Harry rolled his eyes, fumbling with the zipper on his trousers as the girl next to him slapped her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. 

“She’s loud.” She giggled, reaching down to start working on her heels. 

“I know.” Harry sighed. “I’m really sorry about that. I...I didn’t know she would be bringing someone-” 

“Right there, y/n! Yes baby yes!” 

“Jesus.” He let out a huff, reaching his hand up to tap the wall with his fist. “Oi, other people are trying to have fun here.” 

“Oh my god.” The girl tossed her head back, barking out a laugh. “You don’t have to do that, it’s fine.” 

“Sorry, H.” Y/N called back. “We’ll keep it down.” 

“I just don’t want to ruin the mood for us.” He shuffled out of his jeans and boxers, tossing them to the side before he looked back at her. 

“I’m okay.” She climbed on top of him again, her shoes now tossed aside and her dress hiked up to her hips. “I really, really don’t care about anything else but fucking you right now.” 

“Oh.” Harry’s cheeks were surely tinged pink as she gripped his cock in her hand, stroking up with gentle movements. “Fuck, that’s nice.” 

“Good.” She leaned forward, pressing her free hand to his shoulder. He fell back onto the mattress, dropping his hands to her thighs. “I promise I’m gonna make you cum so hard, you won’t even know there’s anyone else in the world besides me.” 

Harry dropped his head back, digging his nails into her thighs as she lined herself up with his cock. It had been so long since he’d fucked anyone, his emotions for Y/N a huge cock-block that he couldn’t seem to shake. Other girls just didn’t do it for him anymore.  But tonight, the alcohol in his veins and the vision of Y/N nearly fingering some girl in the back of the club reminded him that he was free to fuck whoever he wanted, despite his love for Y/N.

“Y/N!” 

Harry let out a heavy sigh through his nose, the sound of Y/N’s one night stand screaming making the fire in his belly dim just a little. He didn’t even care that his own girl was sinking onto his cock, soaking wet and tight like a vice. He barely even remembered that she was on top of him until she moaned his name out. 

He opened his eyes, watching her face contort as she settled onto his thighs. 

“You’re huge.” She whispered, tilting her head back. “I swear I’ve never had...never had someone so big, fuck.” 

“Yeah?” He licked over his bottom lip, sliding a palm up to her belly. “Feel me there?” 

“Mhm.” She whimpered, gripping onto his wrist. “M’so full.”

“Y/N, please let me cum.” 

Harry let out a frustrated sigh, reaching his hands up to rub over his face. 

“Are they bothering you?” The girl asked softly, lifting off of his cock. “Because it seems like they are.” 

“A little, yeah.” Harry nodded, wincing as his cock slapped against his stomach. “I’m really sorry, it’s not that you aren’t amazing-” 

“I get it, it’s okay.” She fell next to him as his cock started to soften. “I would be kind of wigged out if my roommate was fucking while I was too.” 

“She does this every Friday night.” Harry said. “And...not to continue ruining whatever we had going between us, but I’m kind of in love with her.” 

“Oh.” The girl whispered. “That would really turn me off.” 

“Yeah.” He nodded. “And I was trying to have fun for once, you know? Because she seems to go about life oblivious to my feelings and I’m stuck pining for her while she’s fucking whoever she wants to.” 

“Do you think she knows that you like her?” His date asked. 

“I don’t know, probably not.” He mumbled, turning his head to look at her. “You don’t have to listen to me moan on about it, I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s okay.” She turned on her side, pressing her palm to his chest. “I have a feeling you haven’t talked to anyone about this and it’s not very healthy to keep things bottled up.”

“You’re right about that.” Harry smiled. “You know, I have a friend who would absolutely adore you.” 

“Is it Y/N?” She giggled. “Because I don’t swing that way.” 

“Oi, you think I’d let you shag the girl I just told you I’m in love with?” He laughed, his brows crinkling together as he reached over to pinch her hip. “It’s not her.” 

“Good.” She laughed with Harry, sliding closer to him. “Would it be weird if I stay?” 

“No,” He shook his head. “It’s the least I can do after wasting your time.” 

“And...what about a cuddle?” She asked. “Because I do enjoy a good cuddle session.” 

“I can deal with that, I think.” He leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers. “Thank you.” 

                                           *****************************

The next morning, Harry was livid. 

He sent his date, Halle was her name, off with a sweet kiss and a coffee to-go. Maybe in another life, she would have been perfect for him. A soft, sweet girl with kind eyes and a willingness to listen to him. Unfortunately for him, he was too far up his obnoxious flatmate’s ass to see anyone else. And even if it made things awkward between them, he had to tell her how he felt. There was no way he could keep going on like this if there was a way to prevent it. 

“Good morning,” She chirped, her hand linked with the girl she brought home last night. “Are we having breakfast?” 

“You can do whatever the fuck you want.” Harry snapped, taking his coffee mug and his breakfast plate from the counter. “I don’t care.” 

Y/N’s jaw dropped and the girl’s eyes grew wide. 

Harry didn’t say another word, walking past the two girls.

He hated being a dick, but lashing out made him feel the tiniest bit better about what happened last night. He pushed his bedroom door open with his hip, settling back into bed as he flicked through his options on Netflix. He wasn’t even thinking of Y/N, his mind struggling to remember whether or not he’d seen the last episode of the Great British Bake-Off. When he realized that he hadn’t, clicking on the title to start the episode, his bedroom door flew open and his roommate stormed in. 

“Fuck you!” She snapped, reaching for his remote, standing in front of his bed with a scowl on her perfect lips. “I don’t know who pissed in your cheerios this morning, but you don’t get to talk to me like that! Especially not in front of guests.” 

“Okay.” Harry shrugged. “Can I have my remote-” 

“No, you can’t!” She shouted, tossing her hands up as she let out a noise crossed between a groan and a growl. “What’s your deal?” 

“I haven’t exactly finished my coffee, love.” Harry was trying not to relish in the sight of his roommate frustrated and adorable. The feeling she was experiencing now was a fraction of what he felt every time he heard her through the wall. “Maybe come back later?” 

“Are you upset because I fucked someone last night and you didn’t?” Her brows shot up. “I know you didn’t cum last night and neither did the girl you brought home. Are you mad because you’re shit in bed?” 

“Maybe we were quiet. You know, decent and considerate of other people,” The smile he gave her was sarcastic. “Or maybe- and this is a good one- maybe, I had a girl sitting on my cock, ready to fuck me so bloody good I would cry, but I couldn’t let her because all I could think about was how much I love you. ” 

“What?” She asked, her mouth falling ajar. 

“Maybe when I was kissing her at the club, I was thinking about kissing you.” He set his coffee mug down on his nightstand, continuing on. “And maybe when I had my fingers in her cunt, I was thinking about you. And maybe, just maybe, every time you fuck someone so loud that it keeps me up at night, I wish it was me instead.” 

She didn’t say anything, watching as Harry moved forward. He snagged the remote from her hand, proud of his little confession. He turned the show back on, ignoring his roommate as she stood there with her eyes wide. He smirked, crossing his legs before he settled his hand on his stomach. 

“You process that and I’m just gonna watch Noel and Paul bicker.” Harry said. 

“You’re an asshole.” She whispered. “You...you can’t just be upset with me because I didn’t know that you liked me.” 

“I’m not upset with you,” He said. “I’m a little upset that I was trying to have a good time for once and you ruined it with you and your girl’s pornstar moaning, but I’m not upset with you. That would be extremely unfair of me.” 

“Why have you never said anything?” She cleared her throat, fidgeting with the hem of her oversized shirt. “We’ve been roommates for years, Harry.” 

“Because I love you as a friend, too.” He started. “I didn’t want to risk it.” 

“And now?” She squeaked out. “You’re willing to risk it now?” 

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I’m tired of wishing that it was me on the other side of this wall, Y/N. So...take some time to think about what I said and let me know if you’d be willing to give it a try. No hard feelings if you don’t want the same thing, I completely understand and I’ll respect your choice either way. We’ll just have to work out some arrangement where you let me know when you have someone-” 

“I want to try.” She said quickly, kneeling on the edge of the bed. “Because I really like you, Harry. Like, the only reason I’ve brought so many people back home with me is because I couldn’t have you. I knew that there was no way in hell you would like a girl like me. I’m obnoxious and boisterous and just...I didn’t think I was your type.” 

“You’re kidding?” His brows shot up. “You thought...oh my god, we’re both bloody idiots.” 

“You’re telling me.” She laughed, falling on her ass in front of him. “This whole time I’ve been fucking people that loudly to make you jealous and the entire time you’ve been listening, imaging it was you?” 

“I guess so.” He let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. “Well, I guess that leaves us with two options.” 

“And what might those be?” She asked, a soft smile settling on her lips. 

“I take you out for brunch, maybe a nice walk in the park, and then I bring you home and fuck you so hard you won’t even remember the orgasms you had last night.” He lifted one finger up, smiling as he watched her inhale sharply. “Or option two, I fuck you now and we go to brunch later?” 

“Wouldn’t it just be lunch by then?” She tilted her head to the side, playfully narrowing her eyes at him. “I mean...that defeats the purpose, yeah?” 

“Really, that’s-” Harry let out a laugh, shaking his head. “You’re missing the point.” 

“I’m not.” She leaned forward, sliding her hands over his thighs. “I see it clear as day.” 

“And what does your heart tell you to do?” He licked over his bottom lip as she moved closer, her nose nearly bumping against his. 

“To take you up on option two.” She whispered. “Because it’s really not fair that I came five times last night and you didn’t come, not even once.” 

“Fuck.” Harry sputtered out as she brushed her lips over his. “Kiss me?” 

She pressed her lips into his, moving his body back onto his pillows. She moved over him, straddling his thighs as she deepened the kiss. When her tongue slipped over his bottom lip, his mouth fell open in response. His hands fell to her hips, digging into the soft flesh as his mind tried to catch up. The girl of his dreams was sitting on his lap, in his bed, and she wanted him. She wanted him just as bad as he wanted her. He couldn’t believe that this was happening, sure that he was just a fever dream or a nightmare that he would wake up from any second. But he was brought back to reality when her tongue slipped over his. 

And at that moment, Harry knew he was right. 

She did taste like peach. 

[generic-hufflepuff1]

My Tma favorites (per entity per season)

In honor of the finale of Tma, I'm looking back and going through the seasons and picking out my favorite episodes. I'm sorting them by entity and Im gonna write a little piece at the end of each fear as to why I picked that episode.  It is relatively spoiler free but still keep your wits about you.  

Also this is only up to Mag 197

The Stranger

Season 1: 1 Anglerfish tied with 34 Anatomy Class 

Season 2: 77 The Kind Mother

Season 3: 83 Drawing a Blank, with 96 Return to Sender as a close second

Season 4: 128 heavy Goods

Season 5: 182 Well being, but 165 Revolutions is very very good

Overall: 1 Anglerfish

So all the of The Strangers’ episodes are really evocative and well written and I have to say that it was a very, very close call for almost every single season and I still cannot really decide if I truly like Mag 1 more than Mag 34 but I have to say that Mag 1 is so very good at drawing you into the world and works as a stand alone piece.  

The Buried

Season 1: 2 Do Not Open

Season 2: 66 Held In Customs

Season 3: 97 We all Ignore the Pit

Season 4: 132 Entombed

Season 5: 184 Like Ants

Overall: 2 Do Not Open

I love Mag 2 as the protagonist straight up did not have any of this bullshit.  And they even got a mike drop moment with the frozen key.  Like in this house we stan Joshua Gillespie.  His determination to not have to deal with that shit is so incredibly strong that it sticks with you.  

The Web

Season 1: 16 Aracnopobia

Season 2: 69 Thought for the Day

Season 3: 81 A Guest for Mister Spider

Season 4: 136 The Puppeteer 

Season 5: 172 Strung Out

Overall: 81 A Guest for Mister Spider 

Honestly Mag 81 is absolutely brilliant and serves to contextualise so much of season 1 and 2 and ends up being incredibly important to the world as a whole.  That plus the delivery and excellent premise gives it a slight edge over Mag 172 that is a pure exploration of the controlling and manipulative nature of addiction

The Vast

Season 1: 21 Freefall

Season 2: 75 A Long Way Down

Season 3: 91 The Coming Storm

Season 4: 124 Left Hanging

Season 5: 174 The Great Beast

Overall: 174 The Great Beast

So the first half of season 5 does an amazing job of truely fleshing out each fear and the Vast is no exception.  The split between the two protagonists makes it clear that The Vast is not just about big things or empty space but deep existentialism and the fear of the inevitability of life.  

The Spiral

Season 1: 26 A Distortion

Season 2: 74 Fatigue

Season 3: 85 Upon the Stair

Season 4: 126 Sculptors Tool

Season 5: 177 Wonderland, tied with 187 Checking Out

Overall: 187 Checking Out

This one was difficult as Mag 177 and Mag 187 as both of them lingered in my head for literal weeks after listening to them.  In the end Mag 187 was so completely mind boggling in how it completely changed my perception of the Distortion.  And is a masterclass in writing a character twist.  

The End

Season 1: 29 Cheating Death

Season 2: 70 Book of the Dead

Season 3: 94 Dead Woman Walking

Season 4: 155 The Cost of Living

Season 5: 168 Roots

Overall: 168 Roots

I have quite literally experienced some version of what the victims are describing.  But more than that the realisation of the implications of this domain for the world as it elevates the episode much higher than any of the Ends other appearances as eventually the other entities will fear the End just as the mortals do.  

The Flesh

Season 1: 14 Piecemeal

Season 2: 58 Trail Rations

Season 3: 90 Body Builder

Season 4: 131 Flesh

Season 5: 171 The Gardener

Overall: 171 The Gardener

Everything about Mag 171 just speaks to me.  From the visual it conjures, to the brilliant use of botany metaphor to describe various body image issues, to Jared’s simple but weighty request.  This episode lives rent free in my brain at all times.  This is the first time that I have zero contenders for my favorite of an entity.  

The Corruption

Season 1: 32 Hive

Season 2: 68 The Tale of a Field Hospital

Season 3: 102 Nesting Instinct

Season 4: 153 Love Bombing

Season 5: 164 The Sick Village

Overall: 32 Hive

Although Mag 164 does have a very particular place in my heart and in the history of literature due to its topic and the precise time it came out, but it does pale compared to just how brilliant Mag 32 is.   As the first real mention of the entities it reveals just little enough to keep the suspense whilst providing just enough answers that it's obvious in hindsight.  But once more none of that matters in the face of “There is a wasps nest in my attic” the shere delivery of this episode has placed it in many people's favourite lists.  

The Slaughter

Season 1: 7 The Piper

Season 2: 42 Grifter’s Bone

Season 3: 105 Total War

Season 4: 125 Civilian Casualties

Season 5: 163 In the Trenches 

Overall: 42 Grifter’s Bone

Mag 42 is very interesting.  I’ve mentioned in some of my other posts that Im pretty sure that Jonny Sims finds some fears harder to write and the Slaughter is definitely one of them but I’ve only come to this conclusion by looking at how frequently they show up but listening to the show you would never be able to tell and Mag 42 is one brilliant example of this it is a brilliant way to expand on how the Slaughter manifests.  

The Desolation

Season 1: 37 Burnt Offering

Season 2: 67 Burning Desire

Season 3: 89 Twice as Bright

Season 4: 139 Chosen

Season 5: 169 Fire Escape

Overall: 67 Burning Desire

I find Mag 67 so intensely interesting as it leads into one of the major themes of Tma, that love can and will defeat and overpower even the most gripping fear.  The simple love of a simple man sowed just enough doubt to destroy an avatar of destruction.  Tma is filled with similar moments but personally this one is my favourite.  

The Dark

Season 1: 25 Growing Dark

Season 2: 63 The End of the Tunnel

Season 3: 86 Tucked In

Season 4: 143 The Heart of Darkness

Season 5: 173 Night Night

Overall: 173 Night Night

I remember the reaction to Mag 173.  It was so incredibly powerful to watch most of the fanbase (myself included) react in exactly the same way the characters did to the reality of this domain.  First with dawning realisation, then anger followed sudden confusion at where to direct that anger.  It was quite eye opening to say the least.  

The Hunt

Season 1: 10 Vampire Killer, with notable mention to 31 First Hunt

Season 2: 56 Children of the Night

Season 3: 112 Thrill of the Chase

Season 4: 133 Dead Horse

Season 5: 176 Blood Ties

Overall: 112 Thrill of the Chase

I absolutely love Mag 112.  It is such a brilliant idea, and as a result I end up valuing it a bit more than Mag 133 or 10 which are particularly telling for me as it proves that the Hunt is weirdly the fairest of the entities and absolutely condones fighting back and even killing its avatars or that it just cares about the circular nature of the hunt.  

The Eye

Season 1: 23 Schwartzwald

Season 2: 53 Crusader

Season 3: 82 The Eyewitnesses

Season 4: 138 The Architecture of Fear

Season 5: 183 The Monument

Overall: 138 The Architecture of Fear

Oh Smirke.  Poor naive and enlightened Smirke.  I love Mag 138 more than the other Eye related episodes because it is due to this character that we even have a metric through which to observe the world of tma

The Lonely

Season 1: 33 Boatswain’s Call

Season 2: 48 lost in the Crowd

Season 3: 92 Nothing Besides Remains

Season 4: 159 The Last

Season 5: 170 Recollection

Overall: 170 Recollection

Covid lockdown hit me quite hard and I have not seen a single piece of media that captures the feeling of having hours and days drift into each other quite like Mag 170 so along with Mag 164 it has a very strange place in my heart.  

The Extinction

So this one is a bit of a different situation so im gonna simply list my top five in order

175 Epoch

149 Concrete Jungle

65 Binary

157 Rotten Core

156 Reflection

Mag 175 is another example of a statement that my mind will drift to if I leave it alone for too long.  From the vivid visuals to the subtext of the descriptions to the delivery of every line it is easily one of the best episodes of Tma in my personal opinion. 

[ourstarscollided]

jatp fanworks appreciation - day 1 (writers)

motivation - so in true me fashion and my aversion to brevity, i've made three (3) posts (see also artists, gifs/edits) to celebrate the wonderful people in this fandom who have made my jatp tumblr experience what it is; a community of people who simply shout into the void about their love of a ghost band and their fearless female leader. i've enjoyed simply being on the sidelines admiring everyone's love for the show, but i thought this would be a good time to really show my appreciation for all these wonderful people, because if i've learned anything from this pandemic, it's that there is NEVER a wrong time to tell someone that they are simply ✨the best✨.

disclaimer: i don't interact with most of these people personally and i simply absorb their content from afar and scream about how wonderful they are in the tags.

This list kind of became a fic rec, so if you're looking for some wonderful fics to read (or reread), I've also included my favs from the author here as well.

Okay this is gonna get a little long so please bear with me. But I just wanted to preamble this by saying that the fanfiction written by the jatp fandom is what resparked my love for reading fiction after about 3-4 years of not reading for leisure (be an adult they said. it'll be fun they said.). So I'm really grateful for that? I don't interact with a lot of people, just because it makes me a little anxious, but I will constantly yell about your content in the tags as if I were on a set of bleachers with a megaphone.

I also know there are so many wonderful fic writers out there (on Tumblr and not on Tumblr) that make amazing pieces of work, and this is just a tiny peek into that, and is not at all conclusive.

Without further ado here are some writers who live rent free in my head, in alphabetical order, so feel free to just skip to your name to avoid my rambling:

@bluefirewrites -> your Merry Ex-Mas fic had me on the edge of my seat every single time you updated. I am so in love with how you wrote the characters into this and at how many words you churned out for this fic. This was filled with so much adventure, and it was really welcome during a time when the world wasn't allowed to travel. And I simply love all the other drabbles and fics you write, but I especially enjoy the hilarity of Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker.

@captainkippen -> I'm pretty sure Love Drunk was one of the first fics I ever read in this fandom. Your stories and your writing feel so goddamn real and I find myself so immersed in the worlds that you've created. I have reread most of your jatp fics and I still manage to find myself stupidly grinning at my phone each time. Your stories flow so easily and are such perfect characterizations of the characters we know from the show, but elevated to fit into your verse. I cannot say enough how wonderful your writing is and how talented you are!! (also a slight nudge that I am still very much following along with The Key and the Crown and I hope you continue it!)

@catty-words -> Your???? Exhaustive??? Music??? Lists???? The amount of work and dedication and microanalyzing that you put into pulling out every detail from each scene is so admirable. You not only manage to find the details, but you also give us EVIDENCE via your intricately selected gifs. You could've just put the video of the performance, but no, you take your time to find that specific 1 second shot to emphasize your point. And your little fics that you sometimes throw out into the world? They're so beautiful, and so fun to read and I enjoy them so much! (I am STILL screaming about this band's a snack) Thank you for validating my yelling in the tags, and for feeding my hyperfixation to this show. (I'm sad these lists are ending soon, but it's about the journey ya know?)

@lydias--stiles -> I don't even know what to say here because I've yelled so much about your fics that I feel like there's really nothing else to yell. Your Road Trip AU was also one of the first ones I read in this fandom, and really just made me go absolutely feral. Pretty sure I absorbed the rest of your fics in an ungodly amount of time and I just simply think you are incredibly skilled and talented. Every time you post a new fic I always wonder what it's like to be in your head because the ideas you come up with are so unique and so well thought out. Thank you for all the art you create for this show, I will constantly be in awe of you. (Special shoutout to the 5+1 fic that became a 31 chapter monster)

@pearlcaddy -> This list would not be complete if I didn't mention you. First of all, thank you for suggesting this wonderful week, it has been so lovely to see so much love being spread around today. Secondly, I never thought I'd find myself reading a Buffy or a Wizarding World crossover fic, considering I know nothing about those two things. And yet I found myself on various nights after work at 3 in the morning just silently screaming and/or crying into my phone. Your writing is so insane. Your world building is so insane. Your banter/dialogue is insane. The way you capture the love between Julie/Luke in different universes is so perfect. Thank you for gifting us these beautiful pieces of art, and I hope you know that you have at least made one person (me) a very happy reader. I also really admire your dedication to "this will only be a oneshot", only to write like 4 other POVs for it. (Special shoutout to 100 Bad Days)

@ruzek-halstead -> Literally every single fic you have written lives rent free in my head. The way you've managed to build this universe of different Julies and Lukes, and each one still captures the essence of them is astounding. You've extended their characters beyond what we know from the show and I am just in awe of everything you write. Please know that dead of night is both triggering to me and yet the most hilarious thing I have read. (Special shoutout to the Fake Dating Christmas AU and of course the Cinderella Story AU)

@serendipitee -> Your stories and your writing are absolutely magical. I think Write It Down was one of the first multi-chapter fics that I followed super closely and whenever you updated, I would literally drop what I was doing and read it instantly. You have such a way of building the plot and the characters for all of your fics and drabbles, and making the reader just want more. Please know that I am so obsessed with Oh, She Waltzed With the Dead and I cannot wait to see where you take the story!

@sunsetcurbed -> I have no words for your writing. I am simply in awe every time I read something from you. The way you've got down Alex and Willie's voice to a tee is so crazy good. You write their characters and their stories with such grace and care, especially with how you approach the topic of mental health. Thank you for all the research you do and for also writing in your own experiences. I literally binged the Princes Diaries AU during work and lost a good half day to it, and I regret nothing because that fic left me in SHAMBLES. I secretly adore the way you say you're going to keep a fic short, and end up writing an insane amount of words for it. (I have not yet left my obligated long-ass comment on Chapter 4 of the College AU yet because I am still processing the fate/destiny concept.)

@tangledstarlight -> Gahh. Rosie. Please. This is going to sound a little repetitive considering I just screamed at you last night, but now I guess I will just have to publicly confess my adoration for you!!! Thank you for being my first online friend in a very long time, and for putting up with me yelling at you about everything (and also nothing at the same time). I can't believe all it took was one message about your Royals AU for you to post it, but I will gladly take that credit any day. You are so so so incredibly talented with your writing, and your ability to transport me to another world while I read your fics is unparalleled. I adore the way you can come up with a new story to write every day, and then proceed to throw it into your pot of other WIPs. I am so so so so lucky to have gotten to know you and am incredibly grateful that I now have someone to cry about everything with 🧡 (If you read anything from Rosie, you need to read her Seasons/Long Distance Juke "friendship" fic and the Reggie x Photography oneshot that made me bawl my eyes out.)

@thedeathdeelers -> No thoughts. Just soulmates. Jk jk, you know I love your Reggie x Ray x Carlos fics, and I will scream in the tags about it until the day I get more of those fics from you. This is lowkey a threat, but wrapped in kindness. You are so wonderful to see on my dash (albeit scary at times because of the sheer amount of headcanons and theories running through your head), but you radiate such positive energy that it's impossible to not want to jump in and scream about soulmates with you.

Some special mentions to fics that also live rent free in my head:

@sunsetsandcurves wrote a Willex Cruise Ship AU inspired by a Simple Plan song and it’s something I never knew I needed until I read it. 

@phantom-curve wrote a Juke fic based off of Coney Island and I would just like to say, yes, it did shatter me. (Here’s the fluff sequel that makes up for it though)

@unsaidjulie wrote the Juke dog fic of my dreams and I simply cannot express how much I want the Molina’s to have a dog now. 

@pawprinterfanfic managed to get me incredibly invested in a Star Wars AU even though I know absolutely nothing about Star Wars. I just know that I would die for two (2) space boys. 

@sanssssastark  your Later universe made me realize that I do very much want there to be more mature content for this fandom (and you constantly deliver).

@theobligatedklutz wrote a Tangled Willex AU that makes me screech every time there’s an update. Just read it.

@alexthedrummerboy your talent knows no bounds when it comes to your Social Media AU. Also she’s written ORIGINAL songs for Alex and Willie?!?!?! 

@gennified has this really wonderful modern take on pride and prejudice for Willex and I’m so obsessed with how much miscommunication there is.

@bananaleaves okay, I just found your Tumblr today, and I know you don’t know me in any capacity, but allow me to scream about THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. If anyone in this fandom is to read ANYTHING, it’s this fic. This was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time and absolutely wrecked me. Please just read this.

This turned out WAY longer than it was supposed to, and I’m SO SORRY. (I also tried to make sure I got everyone’s pronouns right, so PLEASE let me know if they’re wrong!) A final sincere thank you to everyone in this fandom who writes. Your talent knows no bounds. Gonna stop talking now before this becomes an essay....

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Syntax6

Syntax6 has 17 stories at Gossamer, but you should visit her website for the complete collection of her fics and to see the cover art that comes with many of the stories (and to find her pro writing!). She's written some of the most beloved casefiles in the fandom. I've recced literally all of them here before. Twice. Big thanks to Syntax6 for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I’m delighted but not surprised because I’ve written and read fanfic for shows even older than XF. Also, I joined the XF fandom relatively late, at the end of 1999, so there were already hundreds of “classic” fics out there, stories that were theoretically superseded or dated by canon developments that came after them, but which nonetheless remained compelling in their own right. That is the beauty of fanfic: it is inspired by its original creators but not bound by them. It’s a world of “what if” and each story gets to run in a new direction, irrespective of the canon and all the other stories spinning off in their own universes. In this way, fanfic becomes almost timeless.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it? What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

(I feel these are similar, at least for me, so I will combine them here.)

First and foremost, I found friends. There was a table full of XF fanfic writers at my wedding. Bugs was my maid of honor. I still talk to someone from XF fandom pretty much every day. Lysandra, Maybe Amanda, Michelle Kiefer, bugs…these are just some of the people who’ve been part of my life for half my existence now. Sometimes I get to have dinner with Audrey Roget or Anjou or MCA. Deb Wells and Sarah Ellen Parsons are part of my pro fic beta team. I have a similar list from the Hunter fandom, terrific people who have enriched my life in numerous ways and I am honored to count as friends.

Second, I learned a lot about writing during my years in XF fandom. I grew up there. Part of this growth experience was simply due to practice. I wrote about 1.2 million words of XF fanfic, which is the equivalent of 15 novels. I made mistakes and learned from them. But another essential part of learning is absorbing different kinds of well-told tales, and XF had these in spades. Some stories were funny. Others were lyrical. Some were short pieces with nary a word wasted while others were sprawling epics that took you on an adventure. The neat thing about XF is that it has space for many different kinds of stories, from hard-core sci-fi to historical romance. You can watch other authors executing these varied pieces and learn from them. You can form critique groups and ask for betas and get direct feedback on how to improve. It’s collaborative and fun, and this can’t be underestimated, generally supportive. The underlying shared love of the original product means that everyone comes into your work predisposed to enjoy it. I am grateful for all the encouragement and the critiques I received over my years in fandom.

Finally, I think a valuable lesson for writers that you can find in fandom, but not in your local author critique group, is how to handle yourself when your work goes public. Not everyone is going to like your work and they will make sure you know it. Some people will like it maybe too much, to the point where they cross boundaries. Learning to disengage yourself from public reaction to your work is a difficult but crucial aspect of being a writer. You control the story. You can’t control reaction to it. It’s frustrating at first, perhaps, but in the end, it’s freeing.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I participated in ATXC, the Haven message boards, and the Scullyfic mailing list/news group. For a number of years, I also ran a fic discussion group with bugs called The Why Incision.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I started reading XF fanfic before I began watching the show. I had watched one season two episode (Soft Light) and then seen bits and pieces of a few others from season four. I’d seen Fight the Future. Basically, I’d seen enough to know which one was Mulder and which one was Scully, and which one believed in aliens. An acquaintance linked me to a rec site for XF fanfic (Gertie’s, maybe?) so that I could see how fic was formatted for the web. I clicked a fic, I think it was one by Lydia Bower dealing with Scully’s cancer arc, and basically did not stop reading. Soon I was printing off 300K of fic to take home with me each night. I could not believe the level of talent in the fandom, and that there were so many excellent writers just giving away their works for free. I wanted to play in this sandbox, too, so I started renting the VHS tapes to catch up on old episodes (see, I am An Old). After a few months, I began writing my own stuff.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to The X-Files. I’m not a sci-fi person by nature. I think my main objection is that, when done poorly, it feels lazy to me. Who did the thing? A ghost! Maybe an alien? I guess we’ll never know. You can always just shrug and play some spooky music and the “truth will always be out there…” somewhere beyond the story in front of you. You never have to commit to any kind of truth because you can invent some magical power or new kind of alien to change the story. I think, by the bitter end, the XF had devolved into this kind of storytelling. The mytharc made no kind of sense even in its own universe. But for years the XF achieved the best aspects of sci-fi storytelling—narrative flexibility and an apotheosis of our current fears dressed up as a super entertaining yarn.

What eventually sold me on the XF as a show is all of the smart storytelling and the sheer amount of ideas contained within its run. At its best, it’s a brilliant show. You have mediations on good versus evil, the role of government in a free society, is there a God, are we alone in the universe, and what are the elements that make us who we are? If Mulder and Morris Fletcher switch bodies, how do we know it’s really “them”? The tonal shifts from week to week were clever and engaging. For Vince Gilligan, truth was always found in fellow human beings. For Darin Morgan, humans were the biggest monster of all. The show was big enough to contain both these premises, and indeed, was stronger for it. The deep questions, the character quirks, the unsolved mysteries and all that went unsaid in the Mulder-Scully relationship left so much room for fanfic writers to do their own work. As such, the fandom attracted and continues to attract both dabbling writers and those who are serious craftspeople. People who like the mystery and those who like the sci-fi angle. Scientists and true believers. Like the show, it’s big enough for all.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I look at it like an old friend I catch up with once in a while. We’ve been close for so long that there’s no awkwardness—we just get each other! I love seeing people post screen shots and commentary, and I think it’s wonderful that so many writers are still inventing new adventures for Mulder and Scully. That is how the characters live on, and indeed how any of us lives on, through the stories that others tell about us.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I ran the Hunter fandom for about five years, mostly because when I poked my head back in, I found the person in change was a bully who’d shut down everything due to her own waning interest. A person would try to start a topic for discussion, and she’d say, “We’ve already covered that.” Well, yes, in a 30-year-old show, there’s not a lot of new ground…

Most other shows, Hunter included, have smaller fandoms and thus don’t attract the depth of fan talent. I don’t just mean fanfic writers. I mean those who do visual art, fan vids, critiques, etc. The XF fandom has all these in droves, which makes it a rare and special place. But all fandoms have the particular joy of geeking out over favorite scenes and reveling in the meeting of shared minds. It will always look odd to those not contained within it, which brings me to the part of modern fandom I find somewhat uncomfortable…the creators are often in fan-space.

In Hunter, the female lead joins fan groups and participates. This is more common now in the age of social media, where writers, producers, actors, etc., are on the same platforms as the rest of us. Fan and creator interaction used to be highly circumscribed: fans wrote letters and maybe received a signed headshot in return. There were cons where show runners gave panels and took questions from the audience. You could stand in line to meet your favorite star. Now, you can @ your favorite star on Twitter, message her on Facebook or follow him on Instagram. In some ways, this is so fun! In other ways, it blurs in the lines in ways that make me uncomfortable. I think it’s rude, for example, if a fan were to go on a star’s social media and post fanfic there or say, “I thought the episode you wrote was terrible.” But what if it’s fan space and the actor is sitting right there, watching you? Is it rude to post fanfic in front of her, especially if she says it makes her uncomfortable? Is it mean to tell a writer his episode sucked right to his face?

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I own the first seven seasons on DVD and will pull them out from time to time to rewatch old faves. I’ve shown a few episodes over the spring and summer to my ten-year-old daughter, and it’s been fun to see the series through her eyes. We’ve mostly opted for the comedic episodes because there’s enough going on in the real world to give her nightmares. Her favorite so far is Je Souhaite.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don’t have much bandwidth to read fanfic these days. My job as a mystery/thriller author means I have to keep up with the market so I do most of my reading there right now. I also beta read for some pro-fic friends and betaing a novel will keep you busy.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I read so much back in the day that this answer could go on for pages. Alas, it also hasn’t changed much over the past fifteen years because I haven’t read much since then. But, as we’re talking Golden Oldies today, here are a bunch:

All the Mulders, by Alloway I find this short story both hilarious and haunting. Scully embraces her power in the upside down post-apocalyptic world.

Strangers and the Strange Dead, by Kipler Taut prose and an intriguing 3rd party POV make this story a winner, and that’s before the kicker of an ending, which presaged 1013’s.

Cellphone, by Marasmus Talk about your killer twists! Also one of the cleverest titles coming or going.

Arizona Highways, by Fialka I think this is one of the best-crafted stories to come out of the XF. It’s majestic in scope, full of complex literary structure and theme, and yet the plot moves like a runaway freight train. Both the Mulder and Scully characterizations are handled with tender care.

So, We Kissed, by Alelou What I love about this one is how it grounds Mulder and Scully in the ordinary. Mulder’s terrible secret doesn’t involve a UFO or some CSM-conspiracy. Scully goes to therapy that actually looks like therapy. I guess what I’m saying is that I utterly believe this version of M & S in addition to just enjoying reading about them.

Sore Luck at the Luxor, by Anubis Hot, funny, atmospheric. What’s not to love?

Black Hole Season, by Penumbra Nobody does wordsmithing like Penumbra. I use her in arguments with professional writers when they try to tell me that adverbs and adjectives MUST GO. Just gorgeous, sly, insightful prose.

The Dreaming Sea, by Revely This one reads like a fairytale in all the best ways. Revely creates such loving, beautiful worlds for M & S to live in, and I wish they could stay there always.

Malus Genius, by Plausible Deniability and MaybeAmanda Funny and fun, with great original characters, a sly casefile and some clear-eyed musings on the perils of getting older. This one resonates more and more the older I get. ;)

Riding the Whirlpool, by Pufferdeux I look this one up periodically to prove to people that it exists. Scully gets off on a washing machine while Mulder helps. Yet it’s in character? And kinda works? This one has to be read to be believed.

Bone of Contention (part 1, part 2), by Michelle Kiefer and Kel People used to tell me all the time that casefiles are super easy to write while the poetic vignette is hard. Well, I can’t say which is harder but there much fewer well-done casefiles in the fandom than there are poetic vignettes. This is one of the great ones.

Antidote, by Rachel Howard A fic that manages to be both hot and cold as it imagines Mulder and Scully trying to stay alive in the frosty wilderness while a deadly virus is on the loose. This is an ooooold fic that holds up impressively well given everything that followed it!

Falling Down in Four Acts, by Anubis Anubis was actually a bunch of different writers sharing a single author name. This particular one paints an angry, vivid world for Our Heroes and their compatriots. There is no happy ending here, but I read this once and it stayed with me forever.

The Opposite of Impulse, by Maria Nicole A sweet slice of life on a sunny day. When I imagine a gentler universe for Mulder and Scully, this is the kind of place I’d put them.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Bait and Switch is probably the most sophisticated and tightly plotted. It was late in my fanfic “career” and so it shows the benefits to all that learning. My favorite varies a lot, but I’ll say Universal Invariants because that one was nothing but fun.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I never say never! I don’t have any oldies sitting around, though. Everything I wrote, I posted.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I write casefiles…er, I mean mysteries, under my own name now, Joanna Schaffhausen. My main series with Reed and Ellery consists of a male-female crime solving team, so I get a little bit of my XF kick that way. Their first book, The Vanishing Season, started its life as an XF fanfic back in the day. I had to rewrite it from the ground up to get it published, but if you know both stories, you can spot the similarities.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

The answer any writer will tell you is “everywhere.” Ideas are cheap and they’re all around us—on the news, on the subway, in conversations with friends, from Twitter memes, on a walk through the woods. My mysteries are often rooted in true crime, often more than one of them.

Each idea is like a strand of colored thread, and you have to braid them together into a coherent story. This is the tricky part, determining which threads belong in which story. If the ideas enhance one another or if they just create an ugly tangent.

Mostly, though, stories begin by asking “what if?” What if Scully’s boyfriend Ethan had never been cut from the pilot? What if Scully had moved to Utah after Fight the Future? What if the Lone Gunmen financed their toys by writing a successful comic book starring a thinly veiled Mulder and Scully?

Growing up, I had a sweet old lady for a neighbor. Her name was Doris and she gave me coffee ice cream while we watched Wheel of Fortune together. Every time there was a snow storm, the snow melted in her backyard in a such way that suggested she had numerous bodies buried out there. How’s that for a “what if?”

What's the story behind your pen name?

I’ve had a few of them and honestly can’t tell you where they came from, it’s been so long ago. The “6” part of syntax6 is because I joke that 6 is my lucky number. In eighth grade, my algebra teacher would go around the room in order, asking each student their answer to the previous night’s homework problems. I realized quickly that I didn’t have to do all the problems, just the fifteenth one because my desk was 15th on her list. This worked well until the day she decided to call on kids in random order. When she got to me and asked me the answer to the problem I had not done, I just invented something on the spot. “Uh…six?”

Her: “You mean 0.6, don’t you?”

Me, nodding vigorously: “YES, I DO.”

Her: “Very good. Moving on…”

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My close friends and family have always known, and reactions have varied from mild befuddlement to enthusiastic support. My father voted in the Spookies one year, and you can believe he read the nominated stories before casting his vote. I think the most common reaction was: Why are you doing this for free? Why aren’t you trying to be a paid writer?

Well, having done both now, I can tell you that each kind of writing brings its own rewards. Fanfic is freeing because there is no pressure to make money from it. You can take risks and try new things and not have to worry if it fits into your business plan.

(Posted by Lilydale on September 15, 2020)

[raughbyn]

Rules: list your favorite male characters from ten different fandoms, and tag ten people to do the same.

Thanks @theimpossiblescheme for the tag!

Okay this is gonna be a little tough, since I tend to skew towards favoring female characters. I can come up with ten, probably...

So, in no particular order:

1. Bustopher Jones, Cats. He's such a jolly guy and his song is underratedly fun!! He's really just out here to have a good time and he's absolutely thriving. To me, he embodies the kind of life that every cat aspires to have: decadence and indulgence, and commanding the admiration and respect of his community.

2. Dick Gumshoe, Ace Attorney. Pure of heart, large of muscle, and dumb of ass. I love him so much 😭 He's so loyal and helpful, and I especially love his interactions with Pearl. He tries to act tough but he really is such a softie 😭💕💕💕

3. Clay, Wings of Fire. He loves his family more than anything and he's just constantly trying his best and I love him...He's far from the cleverest in the group, but his protectiveness and loyalty towards his friends just gets me okay 😭

4. Caduceus Clay, Critical Role. Aro/Ace king who spouts wisdom and makes tea out of dead people--what's not to love? I love the contrast of him being such a serene and morbid person. All of Talisen's characters exude powerful energy, but Cad is my favorite of his!

5. James, Pokémon (TV series). He was always so kind to his Pokémon and one of the funniest characters in the entire franchise. I love his flamboyance so much, and even though Team Rocket as a whole are my favorite characters in the franchise because of their INCREDIBLE dynamic, James in particular was always my favorite.

6. Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings. Yeah, I have a type, in case you couldn't tell. "I can't carry the Ring, but I can carry you" lives in my head rent free. I can't think about him without tearing up a little--all he wanted was a simple and happy life, but he went through all that Morder shit and stuck by Frodo through everything and he deserves the world 😭

7. Ryuk, Death Note. I rewatch Death Note once a year, and I grow more and more fond of Ryuk every time. I've begun to view Death Note through the lens of a comedy, which really elevates the narrative to a different level once you realize that Ryuk is doing the same thing too--Light's psychological warfare bullshit is Ryuk's favorite sitcom, and like honestly yeah me too, this shit's funny as hell.

8. Nagito Komaeda, Danganronpa. And yes I took psychic damage typing that out. My taste in characters is either Himbo or Completely Fucking Unhinged. I think he's the best antagonist to come out of the series, and I ADORE the conflict he brings in terms of the series themes of hope vs. despair. Most of my favorite characters in the series come from the second game, but Nagito holds a very special place in my heart. A friend and I did a playthrough of the series together where we did stupid silly voice acting for the characters, and I had Nagito and god it was so much fun.

9. Todd Chavez, Bojack Horseman. Absolutely one of my favorite pieces of media ever, and Todd is in my top three favorite characters. He's everything I aspire to be. I love the wacky hijinks that he gets wrapped up in so much and he is such a welcome relief amidst all the rest of the bullshit that happens in the show. But he still gets really good character arcs and moments too?? His arc about his relationship with his asexuality is the most incredible ace representation I've ever seen in TV, and he's all around a very relatable character to me. He's probably my favorite character on this list.

10. Black Beauty, Black Beauty. Black Beauty is one of my favorite books ever, and I just really love how constantly pleasant and gentle he is, despite his circumstances. He's so polite and mild-mannered all the time and he's the perfect boy to bring home to my parents. Both the book and the 1994 film were huge parts of my childhood--I'd check it out from the library like ten times in a row, and it was my favorite movie to watch on long car trips. He's definitely very much an observer, but he's so contemplative and I find his inner monologue to be so very, very charming. I do cry at the end of the story every time,,,,

Oh jeez now to tag 10 people,, hnngg okay gonna tag @berrybfoxglove @my-name-is-jimmy @heccin-lit @lina-voltaire @bees-in-a-davidbowie-shirt @rumpleteazers-swag-bag @itsmyregularcat @look-how-the-lights @mister-beetlejuice @corico-mile