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hollyhomburg · 4 months

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Before I Leave You (Pt.71)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Freedom isn't always a good thing... sometimes stupid pups get in trouble.

Tags: slight angst, lying, implied psychopath Jin, Confirmed autistic Jimin, discussion of murder and killing others, Jimin and Jin both have dubious morality, needy m/c, Frottage, Teasing, Knotting, knot-fucking, desperate sex, messiness kink, (slight) pleasure dom hobi 👀, public sex, riding, squirting, car sex

W/c: 15.6k

A/n: it's kinda crazy that this chapter, last chapter, and next chapter was supposed to be a single chapter (it would have been over 30k), this one is my least favorite out of the bunch! please give it a bunch of love when it comes out though 🥺 if you don't love it i'll be sad!

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

The pack goes back to work the next week, nursing hangovers and hurts and everything in between. Every injury both visible and not.

Hoseok's bruises get covered up by Tae's makeup every morning, color corrector applied in thin layers, and then foundation, and then Pink lipstick kisses over top. Tae's lips, your lips, everyone's lips, pressed to those thankful inches between Hoseok's head and his heart.

It becomes their little ritual- and on the nights that Hobi's nightmares keep him awake- her concealer goes under his eyes too. And his lips get pressed more reverently with kisses. Easing apart his tense pout and his frown like the sun parts petals into bloom. It's sweet, the way that Hoseok surrenders himself so willingly to Tae's doting.

Hoseok doesn't know if he likes the makeup as much as he likes the attention. From both you and her.

There’s barely a morning that you don’t wrap yourself around Hoseok’s back while Tae does his makeup, nuzzling against his nape, sneaking your cold hands under the hem of his sweatshirt. alternating between dragging your throat down the crest of his back so that everyone knows he has an omega to come home to, and sleeping curled between. Staying close to your alpha's (the easy ones, the ones that aren't still mad at you).

Hoseok's not the only one who's still dealing with the aftereffects of what happened. The physical side effects and the mental ones.

Jimin still says up and guards the door most nights too, perched on the edge of the nest listening for anyone or anything that might be coming to hurt you. The protective parts of him fester in the meantime before he heals enough to go back to work. He's got too much time on his hands to wory.

He's only diligent with his physical therapy because you tattle on him to Namjoon when he doesn’t do his exercises. Eager to be good, eager to do anything you can to please the pack alpha.

It hasn’t escaped any of them that you’ve been extra agreeable and extra obedient recently. Eager to please. Eager to make up for what happened. Jimin isn’t bothered by it so much- if only because having something to do seems to make you happy. He’ll gladly tolerate you hounding him.

Especially when you bound up to Namjoon to give him a report when he comes home from work, on the receiving end of a very genuine "good pup, making sure your alphas are careful' from Namjoon. especially on those days when that is the only praise that the pack alpha gives you.

It’s not that Namjoon and Yoongi have been treating you coldly, just that there’s a small distance between the two of them and you. Kisses that would have lasted minutes only last second (or they aren’t initiated at all when it comes to Yoongi). Jimin wishes it didn’t remind him of how Tae treated him after she came out but it does.

Hopefully, like with her, Namjoon and Yoongi just need time.

You ask him about it, midmorning stretched out in Tae’s library room where you both wait for her to finish deciding what dress she’ll torture you both with today. You three have taken to hanging out together here. You and Jimin cuddled up on the couch, doing PT, watching Tictok’s, napping, kissing cuddling. Placing shy touches below the pulled blankets to see how far you can go before Tae notices and stops you both with a disapproving lilt to her eyebrows.

“I said no sex- if you guys are gonna hang out with me while I work- you’ve gotta behave.”

You’d melted below the covers and Jimin had firmly placed his hands back over the covers, noticeably damper than they were the last time Tae saw them.

“Sorry mommy,” recalcitrant enough to avoid a spanking (but maybe that is what you’d wanted- what you’d needed). But getting scolded is part of the fun, teasing, seeing how far you can push each other until you break.

You'd squirmed against Jimin's thigh as she'd gone back to work. clicking away at her keyboard without giving you a second glance. "you're not even going to like, let him finish-" You're whiney. Need and wanting down to your bones, a wanting that is only heightened by the vision Tae strikes today; the peachy set of silky bloomers and ruffled top that shows off the little bit of cleavage she has now.

She'd just leaned over the back of her chair and eyed you up and down. "No, if you want to distract me from my book you can suffer pup."

You'd whined and Jimin had hid his laugh in your shoulder. "No buts pup. Maybe later, If you're good, then you can bounce on Jiminie's knot all pretty for me."

"Yes Mommy." But you hadn't ended up doing any of that. You'd fallen asleep curled up around Jiminie (whose hands had unfortunately remained on his phone and above the covers), to the others already awake and at home and would you please help water the plants with Hoseokie pup? You know he doesn't always notice when they overflow.

It’s been harder for you to ask for things since the day you almost ran away. A wanting that can't be sated by simple touches and kisses simmering low in your stomach. Burning through you at strange moments.

Like another moment when you and Jimin are in the library room again. Tae is reorganizing and fussing. What you'd call nesting if she was an omega. The desk is on the opposite wall today. it's Cramped, it won't stay like this for long. The couch moved below the bay window.

You watch Jimin's face as he looks out that window, at the way that the wind tears at the trees around your house, makes them bob and creek, showing the silvery underside of their leaves.

It’s easier for you to Jimin all sorts of questions because he’s not mad at you. (Sometimes you feel like he's the only one who's not mad at you for what you did.)

“Have you thought about how you’ll do it yet?”

The paranoid bits stretch out and teem. The worst part of Jimin have festered in the meantime. Maybe he'd be less restless if he had something to do but the danger has passed now.

Moonbyul seems like she’s truly gone, you’ve heard neither hide nor hair from her- absolutely nothing since the day that she left. No one from the family has tried to contact Yoongi. Even Jin’s unceremonious exit from the FBI had gone without struggle or suspicion.

Jimin had just continued to watch the window, the spring raindrops drifting down the pain of glass all slow. “Thought about how I’d do what?”

You’d raised your eyebrow at him, and thankfully Tae had come in and disrupted whatever conversation you might have had about murders that might need doing. Twirling in the doorway and showing off her slinky dark green lingerie for you and tae to oooh and ahhh at. Your questions forgotten.

Sleeping bears don’t do well when they’re poked. Jimin knows that. The others know that. It might seem pity as far as retribution goes (Jimin still gets angry when he sees the bruises on Hobi’s throat or watches Namjoon examine the scars that crisscross your hands, red and angry. Or the nights that tae twitches in her sleep).

Maybe the best retribution is to live like this- free and unincumbered by anything like revenge. Revenge is also a burden. Revenge means you still care about what happened to you, that it still hurts, that you're still bleeding. Jimin doesn't know if he wants to be bleeding anymore. His alpha that hungers for blood and pain wars with what Jimin knows will logically help the pack more.

But Jimin’s not the only one who's feeling a little paranoid. A little unfulfilled.

The pack instills a buddy system for those who go to work still and for any excursions outside the house. No one goes anywhere alone. Jin starts driving Namjoon to work every morning and picking him up every evening. With kisses and coffee and snacks, especially on the days that Namjoon has long surgeries and he comes home exhausted. Jin like Jimin is trying his hardest not to be too idle. He turns in his sparkly FBI badge and his weapon the first day he's sober enough to drive.

Your recipe book and an audio file of Jimin's, yours, and Yoongi's 'interviews' where you explain everything gets locked in a safe that Jin knows the code to. Gets built into the wall in the basement and plastered over. It’s an afterthought, something just in case (you’ll never need it).

There are a lot of other things for Jin to fixate on now. Not everything is good.

It’s a difficult conversation that Jin doesn’t want to have. Especially not with the pups. This is a conversation that’s too big, too stressful, too much for you to handle- that Jin is certain of.

You certainly look very pupish this morning, still dressed in the matching pink pj’s that Jin left out for you last night, you’d firmly followed his showering instructions not to scrub too hard and even let him button you into them and brush your hair (something you don’t always let Jin do, sometimes you ask for your mommy to do it instead and Tae takes that pleasure from Jin’s fingers with a feral smile).

Your body perfectly moisturized and taken care of, skin glowing and supple and healthy under Jin's inspectory touches. A perfectly obedient pup. So so good it had Jin purring and scenting you so thoroughly you’d gone sweet and dizzy and dependent.

But for once, for this morning, Jin feels like he's dependent on you.

The whole pack will be dependent on you financially. If you decide what Jin thinks you’ll choose.

Jin looks at you across the table (small, yawning, still sleepy, tipping into namjoon and clearly itching for an alpha and a nest) and can’t help but wonder if this conversation, this ask, is best left for later. After having so many difficult conversations in such a short period of time he's lost his taste for them.

Without Jin earning an income right now, the pack’s finances aren’t quite as orderly as they could be. As they should be. Hoseok, Jungkook, and Namjoon are the only ones working now, and Jimin won’t be bringing nearly as much in as he was before- something Jin knows the pup is worried about- he’d even asked if he should get a second job. Having any of his pups overworked is something Jin can’t handle.

And Namjoon is already overworked. Namjoon confessed a little thoughtlessly a few days ago after his first big surgery back- that it’s a good thing he hadn’t quit his job yet. He might not quit it at all now with the pack in limbo. That had been your last straw, and you’d asked Jin if there was anything you could do to help.

That’s a lie- you knew there was something you could do. Sitting in that little file that Moonbyul had dropped off with Hobi’s car all those months ago. The things you’d inherited from Geumjae’s estate as his late wife. The beach house abroad, the apartment in Miami, and the brownstone that had housed his final moments in a city far far away that you don’t ever want to return to.

What other use can it serve?

Yoongi had used most of his Geumjae’s life insurance payout to buy the house and renovate it. And you’ve been living off the leftovers since then, but even that sum won't last forever.

It's a good thing property in Manhattan never depreciates in value.

“This is a lot of money, and I’d understand if you didn’t want to-”

You roll your eyes at Jin, crossing your arms bratty, if Jin were less stressed he might be inclined to take you over his lap for that one. But he wants all of your faculties on board right now. Big financial decisions and omegaspace do not mix well.

Jin is to anxious about this to want to make you submit. Too worried about pushing you too far, asking you for something you might not want to give and overstepping. The clothes and doting are easier- Jin knows exactly how to take care of you that way. He knows exactly what you want when it comes to that.

“Jin, I do not give a shit, like honestly.”

Namjoon is wordless between the two of you, massaging down your and Jin’s necks to soothe you. You don’t understand why he’s pussyfooting around it. What Geumjae has left you and trying to find something to do with it, some way to help the pack, isn't something you're nervous or unsure about. Not even a little bit.

You don’t mind, you really don’t mind. If it helps them stay fat and happy, they can take all of it.

His eyes go softer, less cagey. You lean forward at the kitchen table. Reaching for his hand. He lets you take it. “Jin, just say it-” Jin bites his lip and throws the pen onto the table with a clatter.

“If you sell the house in New York City and put even like 1/3 of it into a trust. The pack would be set for the rest of our lives off the interest alone. Even more if we go the private equity route. Even our kids could-”

Tae calls from the library room, leaning back in her chair to shout through the open door. Clearly listening in on your conversation. “I am not raising trust fund pups hyung!”

Namjoon barks a laugh, “no one is talking about pups yet Tae” he strokes down the nape of Jin’s neck gently, delicately. And you know he’s fixated on the idea of /////yet and when that yet will become soon.

Jin's not getting any younger. Although you and Jungkook are still firmly in your 20's. Jin's going to have to make some big life decisions soon. Not this year and not the next. But the year after definitely.

It’s hard for Jin, to balance what he knows is logically here on the table and what is best for you. He's not sure that he'd make the same choice- the decision to support a pack that you have not known for a calendar year yet (although the anniversary of Jimin finding Yoongi again is sneaking up on you. You’ll have to figure out a day that you want as your anniversary.)

To make decisions with them in mind seems a little…illogical. From a practical perspective. Jin has had these sentiments shoved down his throat since he was a pup. all omega's have.

Don't mate someone until you've known them for a year, don't move in together until you've dated someone for 6 months, and certainly don't combine finances if you don’t like the shape of an alpha’s knot. be a strong independant omega!

You reach for your water and namjoon grabs it for you, holding it so that you can suck at the draw. putting it at the other end of the table to that you don't risk spilling it. wiping the moisture off the corner of your lip when he's done.

Jin huffs. Independance is never something you've wanted- clearly.

All said and done It’s an easy decision for you. Giving them space and time to heal after what you’ve brought down on them and a bit of financial freedom on top of your newfound physical freedom.

You don’t put 1/3 of it into a trust, you end up putting all of it after some discussion.

Jin handles everything involved with selling the brownstone. From contacting a broker to verifying through lawyers that still hold ownership over the property and getting everything notarized. He does all the legwork of opening up a fucking trust to put the frankly insane amount of money that the brownstone goes for in it. Your name on it because namjoon had insisted, and then the pack alpha and omega.

You’re incredibly thankful that you don’t have to go back to the city (especially since you hated it so much in winter and wet springs.) You don’t even bother going back there to get some of your things. You know it probably accumulated dust in the year since you’ve been there. Jin even contacts an estate sale company that sells all of your and Geumjae’s things.

Jin has spent most of his newly gotten free time doing exactly what he’s always done; taking care of his pups.

He’s got interviews with a therapist tomorrow for Hobi (this one has had a very cohesive background check done on him, Jin has learned his lesson). And there's a nail appointment on the books scheduled for Tae today, her hair appointment and facial 2 days from now. A doctor appointment for you and Jungkook the day after. A time slot for Hoseok’s car to get a tune-up later this week (after Jimin’s reckless driving it’s been running a little rough). And the final check-up with Jimin’s surgeon the day after.

You don't know how you'd keep everyone's appointment straight, but maybe that's why jin is the pack omega and you're not. Everything is where it should be. Jin rather enjoys it too.

Namjoon’s scrubs get steamed and hung up before he leaves for work every day, a lunch packed with cute heart-cut strawberries and carefully arranged rice and slices of chicken. Nesting materials warmed in the dryer before you and Jimin and Tae settle in for your mornings of undisturbed library time. Jungkook’s workout clothes color color-coordinated and his long hair brushed shiny and curly with a pat to his bum out the door.

Jin only realizes he might be going a little overboard when he starts a chart to monitor the pack's water consumption. You pressed along his spine trying to rub away your name on the little whiteboard. "If you make me drink that much water I'm gonna have to pee like all the time-"

"Careful," Yoongi had teased, voice rough and gravely from disuse. "You might make Jin want to keep track of that too."

Jin had hummed considering it genuinely, and you and Jimin had jumped up to drag him on to other things in the house before he got any ideas.

Jin spent the rest of this particular morning helping Tae do her hair. Jin’s pups need to look their best at all times. She curled the front, and Jin curled the back so that she didn't have to stretch her poor little arms. A kiss pressed to her knuckles and a "let Jinnie do it my pretty pup" sounded persuasive enough.

Everyone is pup to Jin right now. In his element. Playacting as the perfect house omega.

Jin and Jimin do their assessment while you, Tae, and Yoongi are at the nail salon.

It's a Wednesday and a few days before he goes back to work from injury leave. Although Jimin enjoyed the first week of lounging with you and Tae in the library room watching her write her story (and get predictably nothing done with you and him there to tempt her) now Jimin has gotten too antsy to settle. Going to the gym with Jungkook yesterday helped a little.

It’s the last snow for the season and the big fluffy flakes hit the window with a faint clink. Jin and Jimin have a few hours of privacy to get this done; the psychopathy assessment that Jimin had asked after the other day, drunk and on the floor of the kitchen bellies full of your sweets.

Jin should probably manage the packs sugar intake too.

His pack omega instincts are settled in a way they aren’t usually now sitting here with Jimin in the spare bedroom (a room that will one day become the pack’s nursery and pup nesting room. But Jin doesn’t know that yet).

Jimin lounges on the window seat and stares up at the sky while he talks and answers Jin’s questions. Jin sits, legs crossed in a big blue velvet chair that you and Hobi found on one of your thrifting walks the other day.

You’ve been going on more of those- walks with Jungkook and Hobi around the neighborhood when the weather is nice. to see the flowers- the daffodils and snowdrops and magnolias starting to bud. You stumbled into an estate sale last week where you bought all sorts of things including the velvet chair and an old rug that yoongi had sighed over and then relented, dragging it off to the basment to work on restoring it.

Jin knows you're working up to attending classes at Jungkook’s gym (you have an open invitation from Wonho). Jin will never not be proud of you, that you seem to be at least trying to get healthier and be more active.

He lounges with a notepad and a few printouts in front of him. A copy of the DSM-five is under the chair just in case he needs to reference it. His silk dressings gown is yellow and green striped with blue and pink floral decals on the shoulders. A tad more eccentric than Jin usually goes because this silk robe used to belong to Tae before she switched to pink everything, folded over his striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers. Pink, also Tae's.

It’s easier for Jimin to do this if he doesn’t have to stare at Jin's face, dewy underneath the thick-rimmed glasses. Jin has had more time to devote to his grooming now that he’s unemployed.

Jin listens, and Jimin talks for what feels like hours. laid out in his most comfy sweats set, also cleaned and pressed by Jin earlier (do sweatpants even need to be ironed?) This one is rough in all the right places, worn familiar from years of wear. Jin doesn't even know where Jimin got it- he checked but the tag had already been cut out, probably years ago.

It's strange, how easy it is to ignore things until you connect the dots.

He sits up towards the end looking at Jin and fiddling with the new earrings in his ears. Teasing at the loose cool chain with the tips of his fingers like noodle bats at the tassels on the edge of the curtain in Tae's library room. It's an absentminded action- Jimin's body is too loud for his mind to think of should and shouldn’t’s.

You've warned him time and time again that if he plays with the fresh piercings too much, they might get infected. Namjoon has done his best to dot disinfectant whenever he gets home and, in the morning, too sometimes.

But Jimin always always fiddles. He can't help it. Small bits of paper, the ends of his hoodie that somehow always end up in his mouth. Tae's hands, the soft little ends of Tae's hair, Tae's jewelry, Tae’s everything. It’s weird to see Jimin talking if he’s not fiddling with something.

He’s nervous, so he fiddles. Jin has notes and a completed screening form in front of him. Looking at Jimin now with fresh eyes Jin doesn’t know how he never noticed. How he never put it together.

The psychopathy assessment below taunts Jin.

Failure to conform to social norms concerning lawful behaviors, such as performing acts that are grounds for arrest. Deceitfulness, repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for pleasure or personal profit. Lack of remorse, being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another person

"And did it bother you? When you killed those people?"

"Those bad people hyung," Jimin corrects, and Jin can't help his smile.

"Did it bother you when you killed the bad people, Minnie?"

Jimin fiddles, quiet, like he doesn’t want to admit it. "Only when it got messy."

"Why do you think the mess bothered you?" Jin’s asking half because he wants to know, and half because he’s genuinely curious.

Jimin’s hands rub up and down his knees and he shifts forward than backward. But his words come out even and measured. "Because it wasn't the way it was supposed to go- the way I organize it in my head, the same way you probably think through what clothes will make Namjoonie hyung blush the most. It didn't happen the way it should have."

Monsters aren't supposed to bleed.

"The only way I don't get overwhelmed by things is whey I make sure they happen they way they should."

"What does it feel like when you get overwhelmed minnie?"

"It's like- fear I think? My chest gets really tight, and everything gets extra extra loud. It makes my alpha like- riled. And I have to remind myself that I don't need to get angry about it."

They move on to other topics, different than Jimin’s apparent lack of remorse (it's not lack of remorse, but conditional remorse. Jimin only feels within the firm lines of what he believes he should feel) But they circle back to it because Jimin uses the words ‘bad people’ more than once.

"Why do you think that they needed to be bad to kill them? Why does if they were bad matter to you so much?"

"Because that’s the rule- bad people are supposed to die, aren’t they?" Jin cannot fault Jimin for that- because it is the rule. Generally. You do not Mourne monsters. You do not Mourne the villains.

"I'm not so sure about that, plenty of bad people never get punished."

"Like Moonbyul and me you mean?" Jin almost breaks the pen he's holding, almost.

"Do you believe that you're a bad person Minnie?"

Jimin bites his lips, looking down and away, not fidgeting at all. But his teeth work away at his lip. It takes a second for him to gather his words, a second to respond. Jimin has always been hard to read.

"I was hoping you would tell me. I can’t ask Tae. She wouldn’t be able to tell me the truth."

No, Jin always noticed. He just didn’t think of it beyond late-night musings wrapped in Namjoon’s arms. Gossiping about their pack because If there’s one thing that the pack omega and pack alpha like to talk about- it’s their 6 pups. They used to gossip about you the most that way- but Namjoon has been resistant to discuss you recently and Jin doesn't have to ask why.

He sees the conflict and love in his soulmate as easily as he sees the diagnosis written out on the paper right now. He'll check the DSM later for autism spectrum disorder but he won't find anything that varies from his notes.

Uses only limited facial expressions to communicate, frequently flicking switches or spinning objects, speaking in a repetitive way, narrow or intense interests, having trouble with changes to their schedule or changing from one activity to another, and hyper-reactivity to sensory input.

Sometimes talking about things too seriously does more damage. Jin keeps that particular diagnosis to himself.

Jimin looks at him imploringly, not reaching out to touch, because maybe Jimin is a little too overstimulated right now from bearing his heart to initiate contact. His eyes are bright and hopeful. They are not glassy and vacant. Jin has looked at countless pictures of psychopaths before- and none of them have eyes quite like Jimin's

They’ve been at it for 4 hours already, Jin has gotten up twice to pee when Jimin sits up without the intention of lying back down.

"So, what do you think hyung? Am I crazy? Am I a psychopath?"

I think you're a whole lot of things Minnie. Autistic for one with a hyper fixation on the people you love, Tae in particular.

Jin winces, looking Jimin up and down, and the alpha flushes but stays still under Jin’s evaluation. His sensory issues are painfully on display in an extra big sweatshirt, the ends of his sweatshirt pulled loose so that they're not tight around his wrists. His hips, baggy pants, and slides. Jimin’s toes flex, like he can’t help but push at the one item of clothing that constrains him.

He never has the same problem with the neat dark suits that his bodyguard job makes him wear. When Jimin knows what's expected of him- he doesn't have a problem following the rules or lying.

Bad people die. That's the rule, isn't it? Jin has a tallied kill count on the corner of the page, every time Jimin references a different murder over the last 5 hours, Jin has added a tally.

He's run out of room on the notepad.

Jin will bring it up to him later. Will tell him later, to be sure. Jimin asks after something much scarier, much more dangerous to his pack right now. Jin will do anything he needs to do to protect his pack- and that's part of the problem.

There are things that Jimin doesn’t need to know.

Jin covers that evaluation with his fingers. Only a few words are viewable between the narrow edges of his long fingers.

A peculiar lack of empathy, but not a lack of anxiety. An ability to distinguish between right and wrong but not an inherent understanding of those concepts. A tendency to lie. But is that really so scandalous? So damning? Is lying not a necessity and an instinct when the truth can do so much damage? Would Jin blame anyone for lying about these things?

“I do think that psychopaths don’t wonder if they’re psychopaths Jimin. Asking these questions of yourself isn’t a bad thing. If you were crazy, I’m not sure you’d care to be here.” And you’d be trying to convince me too.

Jin stands up and walks over to Jimin the one or two steps. Leaving his notepad behind to cup Jimin’s cheek, running his thumb along the alpha’s plush lips. Jimin’s eyes are wide and glassy, unable to tear themselves away from Jin. Jin’s omega wants to purr at the show of devotion, at the sight of Jimin below him almost on his knees. Jimin places a gentle palm on Jin’s thigh, Just to feel.

"I don't think you're crazy Jimin, I just think you're an alpha who will do anything for the people you love." Is it lying if he believes it to be the truth?

"And there's nothing wrong with that?" Jimin asks, Jimin’s hand fiddled with the tasseled end of Jin’s dressing gown with a delightful shiver of sensory pleasure.

Jin leans down and presses his lips to the alpha’s brow. Jimin almost sags against Jin’s front.

"There's nothing wrong with that at all. Come with Jinnie. It's well past time for lunch, and I won't be able to stand it if my pups are left unfed."

~-~

Jin spends his days gloriously unemployed putting the pack back together piece by treasured piece. But that’s not the only thing that needs his healing touch.

He spends most of his time helping Yoongi restore the house to its former glory. Switching out crown molding and cracked wall sconces. He rarely ever changes out of his matching pajamas and matching pink sweat sets even if they get speckled with dust and wood stain and eventually paint. He thoroughly enjoys sitting elbow to elbow with Yoongi and just- living. Just existing next to the beta without any thoughts or secrets between them.

They don’t talk much, sometimes Yoongi plays music, and sometimes he picks the paint splatters out of Jin’s hair, or the splinters out from his fingers oh so gently. Yoongi’s been quieter since everything went down- if that even seems possible. Less likely to joke, the smiles when Jin puts his paint-splattered hands-on Yoongi’s ass don’t last quite so long.

But unlike with Jimin, any words of wisdom and questions aren’t met receptively; Yoongi just walks away. And Jin knows he’s not ready to talk about it yet. Jin worries that your and his relationship is only part of the problem.

It’s a good thing Yoongi’s fairly organized and has kept all the paint buckets in the coat closet under the stairs. He teaches Jin how to fill the bullet holes in the banister with wood filler and sand it down. The muddy stain sits until they can hardly tell. After a few days of their hard work, it feels like the last few weeks are just a bad memory.

He spends his afternoons polishing away the bullet holes in the antique doorframes, re-spackling the parts of the wall you crashed into that got indented. Every little fleck of blood that leaves even the barest hint of a stain against the ceiling. The drywall cut out and replaced in certain spots. They spend it in companionable silence and Jin tells himself that staying by Yoongi’s side is enough.

Now that the pack knows that they’re not going to be discovered right away there is time to take care of the evidence beyond just bleach and cleaner. The cops haven’t come to their door even once. Not even a noise complaint from your days of revelry.

They're meticulous in the way that they check over every inch of the house. Jin goes over everything with luminol and a blacklight just to be sure. The bights of Yoongi’s eyes extra white as he watches. But no one is better at covering up a murder than them. (If they had a mind for it, they might have a handy side business. Jin jokes, but Yoongi just huffs and doesn't dignify it with a response.)

They dig up the body later.

They make sure everyone else is out of the house. Tae’s hair appointment serves several purposes beyond making sure the pack's prettiest alpha feels her best. Tae goes a little lighter- blonder, less red, and more chestnut. Long and brushing past her shoulders now. Perfect for the spring that hovers on the edge of every breath of warm air.

It won’t be long now. The daffodils are already coming up in places in the front yard. Yellow and bright and happy.

They put the man in a metal bucket, fraying clothes and all. Jimin and Jin mix up the chemicals wearing full hazmat suits. Lye bubbles and burns and leaves little left of the man other than some errant buttons that must have been on his pants and a twisted mess of a zipper.

Jin and Jimin toss them into the fireplace upstairs before anyone gets home, watching as they bubble and burn and disappear like a bad memory. The assassin and lye slurry gets poured down the drain, and carried out to the ocean to find rest- no longer haunting you. Yoongi mixes up more concrete and pours the hole and it’s like it never happened, like Tae and you never murdered that man.

When the pack gets home Jin has picked a few daffodils, put them on the kitchen table, and opened up all the windows. Tae twirls when Jimin asks to show him her hair. The way it falls in pretty ringlets.

"Beautiful"

“Fumigation” Jin will tell their neighbors when they ask about the smell. the subtly tangy chemicals that fill the culdisac. "You know our cat, the angry one, brought a whole punch of pests in. You might want to test your basement too."

Jin is the best liar in the pack for a reason.

You come home laden with bags and just cuz gifts. You’d gotten your hair trimmed and Jungkook too- tight on the sides and long on the top. Jungkook’s bought new star-shaped pillows to go with the light blue couch and Namjoon brings home a pink moon one for you. A stuffed animal one with floppy feet and a tastefully neutral expression that you clutch to your chest during movie nights.

On nights like tonight, when it's so quiet that you need something soft to hold onto- least you remember other deceptively quiet nights.

The rain outside has lulled to a gentle pitter patter and the pack is likewise lulled to a similarly gentle sleep. Moving this way and that, settling like the bones of the house that creek with every harsh gust of wind. Asleep around you in heaps.

You nested earlier with Jin and Jungkook- fluffed every pillow and folded every blanket. It’s not quite as fluffy as your old couch but it is bigger, large enough to accommodate everyone lying this way and that. Jin purrs are sleep deep and soft. Almost pearly in the nighttime.

It's so quiet.

Your hair catches the highlights of the TV screen when it bursts bright and colorful. Hobi twirls a lock of your hair around his fingers while the movie drones on. Animated this time- because none of you have had the stomach for any movie that features too much violence. Nothing lifelike yet. You’ll stick to familiar fantasies in the meantime.

You're curled on your side and stretched out, your feet in Namjoon's lap. The top of your head so close to Hobi's thigh that you can feel the warmth of it along the top of your head. You're not touching him. But his warmth and safe alpha musk is close and thick. More satisfying to your nesting instincts than any blanket, to have your alpha nearby and alert.

Not that you're not welcome, Noodle occupied that spot until recently. Yawning and slinking off with a jingle of his bell collar once Hobi alternated from petting him to petting you.

He twirls a lock of your hair around his finger and watches the movie.

It’s a movie that you've seen before. It's familiar backtrack the perfect thing to fall asleep to here. The room is dark. The blue-red then pink light of the television flashes with scenes. Sounds too far away as your eyes get heavier and heavier. You're not the only one who's clearly feeling the effects of the nighttime or the smooth unaffected happy scents of your packmates.

Tae in particular smells rich and flowery, happy sprawled out between Jungkook and Jimin and Yoongi. Jimin’s hand sits under the hem of her white tank top, the translucent lace edge hides the movements of his fingers as he strokes up and over her hip lazily. Your mate's face is hidden in her hair, and Jungkook is belly down draped over their legs. Your mate's long fingers rest still against his spine. His shirt pulled up to the small of his back. His small huffs are infrequent and gentle. Like a puppy twitching in their sleep.

Namjoon's loud snore punctuates the quiet from the other side of the couch, his head tipped back against the cushions at an uncomfortable angle. Lost to the world like Jinnie tucked small into his side. His cheek fluffy and resting against the hollow of the pack alpha’s throat. Nose tucked to the safest place in existence.

Well, maybe the second safest. Hoseok’s lap is empty afterall.

You never would have said that Jin was skinny or waifish before, but after quitting his job it’s clear that the stress was affecting him. He looks healthier now. Less sallow-skinned and the space under his eyes is less hollow. Jungkook too has a pink glow to his cheeks- although that might just be where he’s rubbed it raw over Tae’s tight And Jimin’s side. He’s half asleep while he scents them. He mumbles and grumbles something like a purr before he goes quiet and still.

Even Yoongi at the end of the couch, has his eyes closed, although you can tell they’re moving under his eyelids, his breath coming out with little huffs that tease the top of Jimin’s hair, sock feet stretched out. You close your eyes and open them, eyes drawn to yoongi at first sight. he's always the first person you look for when you open your eyes.

Only to see Noodle purring from his lap. Your and Hobi's company abandoned in favor of his new favorite person.

“Traitor,” you mumble. Hobi laughs quietly.

"We should take his treats until he comes back to us."

"Noodle? or Yoongi?"

"Both." you giggle and turn onto your side.

His fingernails itch down the back of your neck, not a scruff but close and you turn till you're belly down on the couch so that he has a better vantage point to play with your hair. Your eyes flutter, and when they open again Hobi is still staring at the screen. You're the only two awake and half his face is colored green from the movie.

When you look at the screen- Howl and Sophie are traipsing across flower-filled fields. colorful and bright.

"We should find a place like that, when spring really starts up in a few weeks."

Hoseok's eyes are dark and reflective when he looks down at you, huffing fondly, teasing, "are you asking me out on a date?"

"Maybe. You gonna say yes if I am?"

"Maybe." He teases, and you reach up to pinch his thigh, he takes your hand before you can and holds it, pinning it up there on his thigh. You tangle your hand with his pant leg and leave it there. He goes back to watching the movie and you go back to watching him. Quiet and peaceful in the silence of gentle nighttime

“It always bothered me” Hobi knows you’re watching him. Even without looking down. Yoongi's other hand rests on the back of his neck, you see his slack fingers twitch when he looks at you.

“What?”

“He didn’t use real flower types when he animated this- they sort of look like cow vetch- but they’re not.”

You snort, rubbing your eye, “only you would complain about the flowers in Howls Moving Castle.”

Hobi huffs, his fingers trailing over your forehead gently, smoothing out the crease between your eyebrows. Hand sliding to your shoulder under your arm.

"Come here, I don't bite." You go with little protest. You let him usher you up onto your knees, scooting across the couch until your head and most of your body is sitting in his lap. Laying your heavy body down. You tuck your legs to the side and someone else other than Namjoon snores but it doesn’t matter who. The eight of you tangled here.

"We should wake everyone up and go upstairs."

"Leave them for a minute. This is my favorite part."

He hesitates, looking down at you, then slowly, like his hand can feel the weight of the gesture, he draws your hair away from your face, the pads of his fingers brushing the corner where your ear becomes your jaw, his pulse by your ear visible in every little tremble. You breathe, and Hobi touches your neck, just mindless circles, eyes eventually drawn back to the TV.

“This place is gorgeous Howl! it’s like a dream.”

You swallow, and you suddenly feel more awake than you have in years, in months. It's frightening the sudden clarity at which you are aware of him- of everything. The softness of his faintly calloused hands, the feeling of his flannel pj's rough under your cheek. The smell of the peach-scented body wash he must have used in the shower earlier. Everything about him in frightening clarity.

You like the way he's touching you, over your cheek and down your throat. None of you doesn't like it. None of you is afraid of what Hoseok might do next. You're not even thinking about it. An alpha has his hands on your neck and you feel-

You feel perfectly at ease, perfectly happy, perfectly in love.

It's like you've been sleepwalking this whole time, or maybe that your soul has taken a vacation, forsaken your body for greener pastures, and then snapped back to this moment right now. Your belly feels full of almost there laughter. You're tired but you're not exhausted. Your shoulders don’t even ache. There isn’t a lump in your throat.

Your breath is so smooth and so easy when you exhale and inhale. You can breathe.

Hobi’s face flashes blue, then the brightest chartreuse. His hand finds the popcorn bowl, and part of it misses, hitting somewhere in your hair but you don’t care at all. You look up at him, watching. Chest going all tight again- your body is fighting it, whatever this feeling is. You're simultaneously more awake than you've ever been and suddenly- not sure if you're not sleeping.

His wrist is over your nose and you nuzzle into it as he reaches for another handful of popcorn, fighting back tears. even as one curl falls from his overful fist and hits your face.

He mindlessly picks the popcorn out of your hair, eating it anyway (at least Jungkook didn't put too much butter in it) He doesn't realize that something is very wrong yet (that something is very very right).

“Sorry.”

“S’fine”

Hobi goes back to watching the movie and you wait a few more minutes, a few more seconds fighting back tears, before you disturb the quiet again.

"Hobi," Your voice is quiet and scratching. He doesn't hear you over the movie. Not at first.

Your heart is so thick in your throat and you stretch out. Your body is truly lax for what feels like the first time in ages. Not a bit of tension in your muscles. Your head doesn’t feel so heavy, and that vaguely sick feeling that’s always sort of in your stomach is gone. You breathe and it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel tight. It’s easy.

Namjoon mumbles near your feet. And Jimin lies Tae down more properly, disturbing Yoongi a little, Noodle hops off his lap and slinks off into the darkness, and everyone re-settles. Everything is slow and simple.

And safe.

Your hand goes vicelike on Hobi’s wrist and he looks down at you, inhaling sharply. There is no hatred in his face, though there hasn't been in months. There is nothing in his eyes besides the most blush pink love, a love that speaks of roses and bumblebees and butterflies- every other small flying thing that has nurtured the world to life. The panic is immediate. This is not a feeling that you are used to. This is not a feeling that you remember.

You don't remember the last time you felt safe.

"I feel- Hobi I feel safe. I feel so safe right now- Hobi- I can't-"

You’re frantic with the knowledge of it, words rushed and a little panicked, you’ve forgotten this feeling, how complete and peaceful it is. Peaceful and yet panicked because this is not a feeling that you're used to.

The knowledge thrums through you, the relief choking you with its pretty purple vines. His hands go ridged in your hair, knotting a little before they smooth it out. Your scent- it's not unhappy, but it is pungent. Hobi curls his body over you, bowing to protect it from any unseen threat. He would protect you from anything that came through the front door. Anyone.

He smiles down at you gently, petting your throat, down the side of your body. Oh so gentle. "I know it's- it's good, right? It's okay. Right?"

"Yeah- it's okay, it’s-"

And it is okay. More than okay. It’s okay even when the tears form at the corner of your eyes and find their death in Hobi’s lips as he leans lower to kiss them away so softly you hardly feel it. He knows what this is. He’s happy to hold you through it, the first time your body has let go. Relinquished the tightness and control of being on edge. That little thing that makes prey animals prey animals. The part of you that has always been more animal than human, more fight and flight than fawn.

But you're safe now, all the hard things are over. all the hard things aren't heavy anymore because you're safe. Here in Hobi's lap, here in the house that Yoongi made for you all. You're safe.

It’s a feeling you can’t explain. Like why the snow smells clean and why the air smells like a memory sometimes. Safety is one of those intangible things, you know when it’s here and when it’s gone.

He only hopes that this time, it’s here to stay.

You feel safe in his arms, and you feel safe when minutes later Namjoon wakes from a particularly loud snore. You're asleep finally, but your name is the first on his lips.

Namjoon smacks his lips, scenting the distress on the air without opening his eyes. “Pups? What’s wrong?"

Hobi smiles at Joon, his half-asleep pack alpha brain running paces while his instincts have gone miles. "It's okay Joon, she's just happy, go back to sleep."

"Okay, love you," the pack alpha grumbles out. Curling back over Jin’s body with his, all but pinning the pack omega to the couch. Jin just purrs louder.

"Love you too Joonie." Hobi looks down at you, holding you in his lap, and thinks. Yeah, we're both gonna be safe, aren't we?

(When you wake in the morning, you’re back in the nest upstairs. You smell like Hobi and Yoongi and You don’t remember being carried there at all; you just remember the comfort.)

~-~

You do not spend the next week helping Yoongi and Jin fix the house. you spend the next week baking.

Luckily the kitchen escaped most of the damage in your gunfight. Everything is unharmed except for a small spot by the coffee station where a bullet lodged itself in the drywall and one spot in the blue tile backsplash that needs re-doing.

Yoongi waits for that last, hovering, watching you hum along to the music and scoop out things into little trays. Onto the baking pans, you do not catch him watching. But when a glass breaks, he's there waiting with a dustpan to sweep it up.

He doesn't manage to protect you against every hurt however. there are some things that you just can't anticipate.

You go through every recipe you’ve ever made, honey cakes and macarons that take several tries to get right. Pretty Raspberry Charlottes with meticulously arranged raspberries and ladyfingers. Chocolate cookies with crackly tops. Red bean buns and pineapple cakes.

You make everything in your cookbook once and then again. Tweaking the recipes and adjusting them to copy them over into a new recipie book that Hoseok gets you.

(It's not a courting present, it's not- he swears)

(It's totally a courting present)

The book has a thick pink cover, a snap-in binding so that you can take pages in and out at will. And a small pink tulip on the front cover that quickly gets stained with butter, lemon juice, and a tiny tiny bit of blood.

“You need to be more careful.” yoongi says, in his pj’s. hair all spiky from where jin gave it a fresh cut in the kitchen last night. Short enough that it makes his cheeks look all chubby. A band-aid in his hands. You’re pretty sure there’s still a little bit of his hair on the kitchen floor, but you’ve never been one to complain about that sort of thing so you let it slide. you let namjoon wrap your finger with the bandaid with a small whine.

"I was being careful- I just-"

“I was watching her hyung,” Jimin says, a little fluffy, a little ruffled. His headphones pulsing dully around his throat. You read between the lines with that and make no comment. I was watching her hyung, I know she didn’t do it on purpose.

You got him a pair of nice over-the-ear headphones last week and picked them out with Hobi’s help. They’re the kind that makes everything- even the most grating hum – ease away into silence. Your gift has helped a lot more than any of them anticipated when you’d first set out on your “let's figure out what makes Jimin have grumpy pup time” Adventure.

Some things had been easy, and routine. No microfiber, no oily foods. other things are less anticipated- his leg hair. A trigger he didn’t even know he had. Discovered after he watched Tae shave in the bathroom, the air all hot, the sudsy pool of water foaming pink as Tae filled it up and sat on the edge. Jimin's heavy eyes followed her as he asked why she does it, why you do it too.

"Wow It's like- really smooth."

"Can I try?"

"Are you sure you don't just want to feel?"

"I'm sure."

Tae had shaved him, oh so gently, gripping around the back of his knees. and Jimin hadn't realized, hadn't known what kind of effect it had on him until he was sitting in the nest in utter bliss a solid hour afterward. Rubbing his legs together like a cricket, absolutely lost to the sensation of skin on skin and no tugging.

"Can you do it tomorrow? Please? I wanna feel like this every day," a relaxed laugh warping his words. "Wow leg hair like totally sucks- I didn't know I didn't- I didn't know at all, I didn't realize-"

There are so many things you don't realize that hurt. You and Tae hand cuddled up close to him, rubbing up and down his thighs to feel how soft Minnie's skin actually was. Gentle. Your touches ease away his distress.

"Sorry Minnie, it won’t feel the same, you have to wait a few days for it to grow out."

So no leg hair, no sellophane. Absolutely no tags on clothing. Headphones when things get too loud. Jimin goes quiet and soft and gentle with the headphones. He tries not to wear them all the time, but when the house goes particularly loud in the afternoons after he's come home from work- it's become his new favorite thing. To sit in Tae's library room with her and enjoy a few moments of companionable quiet.

It's good, it makes you happy that Jimin is leaning a bit more into the sensory stuff than usual since his tentative diagnosis from Jin. The rest of the pack had completely accepted it, almost without a second thought. A few careful nuzzles and a few reassuring kisses.

Jungkook had immediately set out to make a list of Jimin’s safe foods. “I don’t know if I even have any- I don’t know if it’s like an autism sensory thing Jinnie just said that I’ve got something.” But the secretive looks Jin had sent the rest of you had been proof enough. You all believe the pack omega’s words like they’re gospel. And really- when it just comes to loving the people you love and listening to them to love them better that's an easy concession to make.

And it's also a little fucking cute when Jimin leans into the sensory stuff. Yoongi ruffles his hair now where the headphones sat Making the hair that it pressed down poof up again.

“It’s okay Minnie, accidents happen.”

Everyone’s been sensitive to Minnie recently. So careful and intentional with the way that they love him. So much so that they’re letting other things slip through the cracks.

It’s not a big deal. It’s really not- you’d gotten used to a certain level of contact from them over the past few months and while you never audibly complain about it and you’d never admit it. One fact remains; unavoidable and inescapable, haunting you in your simple moments.

You’re fucking needy.

You can only take so much- so many times of Jungkook coming home with the front of his shirt sweat-damp from a run, pulling up and showing off his abs too cool off. Of Namjoon when he changes into pajamas, tiny little shorts that show off all his thighs straining and pulling. Jimin when he’s stretched out, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, all growly and close to Tae whose skirt is pulling high.

Your mate washing his hands in the sink definitely shouldn’t leave you with your mouth dry, slinking off to the upstairs bathroom to clean up just so that no one scents it on you.

It’s embarrassing. You feel like a freshly presented pup.

No one has…sought you out since your little mishap. No one has let their hungry touches linger and go hungrier. No one has given you exactly what you know you need since Hobi- before Moonbyul. Almost 3 weeks ago now.

But to put pressure on them now, when it’s clear that maybe- you need to tread lightly when you already have so much to apologize for. It Feels like too much too soon. You’re not a monster- you can control yourself.

In the meantime, you bake your heart away. Needing something to get your mind off them. The whole house is littered with powdered sugar and sawdust, dusted with frosting and wood filler. There isn’t a single shelf left in the fridge that isn’t covered with cakes or sticky custard tarts, or personal cheesecakes topped pretty with heart-cut strawberries.

The only one Jimin had said was slightly grating to him was the super sticky raspberry tarts. So Tae feeds them to him with a giggle, then Yoongi leans in close, demanding the same treatment, his lips gently swallowing tae's long fingers whole.

You shiver and watch.

"It's so sticky," Yoongi licks forward, lapping at tae's fingers, "but sweet!"

You can't stop your hungry look as you watch Tae lick the whipped cream off the top of a tart, her tongue darting out to lick over her lips. feeding tae a bit of whipped cream. some of it gets on his face and jimin smacks his pulsh lips, glossy.

You feel like you want to smack your face into the table. You actually do grip it hard. You wonder if it's normal, to want so much. To want things so hard. your cheeks feel so hot you might be able to back cookies off them.

Breath crusts your ear, lips just barely brushing your skin "these are really yummy."

You jump, Hobi's next to you and he grins, his fingers traitorously resting on the edge of the counter and you know he knows exactly what you were just thinking. What you were just wanting. You blush hot and needy, embarrassed at being caught staring at them. Busying yourself with pulling the remaining tarts off the drying rack and packing them away with parchment paper.

Tae's cheeks are speckled with powdered sugar. And she giggles- completely unaware of your obvious wanting. You nibble just a little at your own pastry. Appetite is suspiciously silent.

Jimin’s definitely not absorbing your conversation either, too busy watching Tae just like you were. Yoongi slinks off with a quiet thank you- intent on completing whatever project he's currently working on.

Jimin's eyes flick up and down Tae's face. Honed in, unable to look away. "The eye glitter-"

"Eyeshadow Minnie," Tae corrects, a little meanly, a little know-it-all in her tone. The same exact what she gets when she takes her knot and tells you exactly how to-

You need to get a grip. You forcefully turn away from the two of them and flip through your new recipe book. Searching for something sweeter, something else you can make other than fixate on this.

You clench your thighs together and watch Jimin cup Tae’s cheeks, her neck, hands skimming down her waist hungrily.

Jimin lets out a little pent-up breath, "It's like- super mesmerizing today- can you show me which one-"

Tae pulls him up from the table with a sweet giggle, leading him into the other room- Jimin looks a little dazed, stumbling on the carpet as he goes. Hoseok laughs and plucks another cookie from the tray before he helps you put them back inside, shaking his head.

These have powdered sugar on them too, you watch Hobi lick the white from his fingers. Hobi has nice hands, nobly in all the right places. You let out a breath and he licks them again, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Are you like okay or-"

"I'm fine." You whine, a little petulently. Setting down the container a little hard. Hobi laughs, and you wish it didn't make your knees a little weak. You need to get it together. You set the back of your hand against your flaming cheeks.

The fact of the matter is that You've gotten used to a certain amount of attention from the pack. Your body mostly, has gotten used to the near constant attention. Since everything happened, people have been- warming up to it slowly. Baking is also a good way for you to mediated away your sexual frustrations, bury them deep below layers of dough and batter and sparkly sugar.

Hobi's hand scratches under the hem of his shirt and you let out a heavy breath. He looks over at you and his nostrils flare.

"So, ugh- what's next- what are you baking next?"

"I wanna try to make this recipe I saw on Ticktok but I'm out of powdered sugar so-"

"You want me to drive you?" Your eyes flicker up. And you perk up at the idea of getting out of the house right now.

"Yes," you say, is your voice shaky? Are you the only one who notices the way that Hoseok's hand curls over his keys? or the way that you move restlessly? Pent up.

You leave, you tell others, but you find it hard to look away from Hoseok long enough to send a text to the group chat The same way that it was hard for Jimin to look away from Tae.

You make it to the store without any sort of comment from him, anything beyond his hand and your hand intertwined over the center console. Although you do see Hobi's mouth quirk as you stare and stare and stare.

There is something unfairly attractive about the way that Hoseok drives; one hand on the back of your headrest to back in the car. Something that makes you feel like you're melting when he follows you around the store. Taking one step for every two of yours, slow and leisurely, lingering close behind you protectively as you debate milk chocolate and semi-sweet. Reaching over you to get the sugar from the top shelf. His bicep brushing the top of your head.

Your jeans have rips in them, a courting gift from Tae who claimed they were cute (the pockets on the back are heart-shaped) His index and middle finger stay tucked into the back pocket of them, tugging you back close when you almost step in front of someone's cart, his thumb resting on the hollow of your back. Rubbing.

But when he gets into the car he pauses, "do you want to-"

"The beach?"

He swallows hard, "yeah- just for a bit?"

You drive, and instead of returning your hands to the center console Hobi’s hand creeps, settling on your knee. Hobi hooks his finger into the biggest rip in your jeans, one on your upper thigh, stroking the skin higher and higher. You go still, look down, and watch his hands rub smooth circles on your inner thigh.

Hoseok has very pretty hands.

A heat creeps up the back of your neck as Hobi keeps his eyes on the road and not on you. You try not to squirm, not to close your legs either. Although you know he'll be able to smell and feel your slick if he keeps it up for too long. You know your scent is swelling treacherously sweet, but you hope he won't comment- won't notice.

But when he pulls into the parking lot and the ocean is right there, turning dark green and a little violent at high tide. The air is stormy but sweet through the cracked windows. He turns to you, already smirking. The quirk of his lips teases and you realize he knows exactly what he's been doing to you this whole time.

You're already shoving his hand off of you, and he laughs at your flaming cheeks. "Oh my god shut up-"

"I didn't say anything."

"Oh, you little shit-" Hoseok grins.

"You're cute when you're flustered from being teased."

"Call me cute one more fucking-"

"Cute."

You put your head between your knees and actually scream. It's soft, not all that loud. Hoseok's laugh is louder as he throws his head back. And you regret ever making the mistake of falling in love with your best friend.

"Oh my god you are totally getting horny because of a car-"

"It's not the fucking car-" you whine, almost petulant.

"Oh, so it's me then?" The way Hoseok raises his eyebrow at you makes you want to scream. The smirk that has your omegan instincts rankled back on his stupidly pretty face.

"And if it is?"

Hoseok grins, reaching over to cup your cheek in his hand. Pinching the sides so that your lips push out. Holding you hard so that you can't squirm away.

"Then c'm here."

There are other things that you both crave beyond sugar and sweets. kisses that turn into giggles. Hoseok's lips move, good and gentle for a second. Exactly what you need, what you've been craving. His kisses offer a little relief.

And then he bites your lower lip.

It smells like gasoline and sea salt and blood when you pull it apart. rubbing at your stinging lip, a little angry. You're not bleeding, but it feels like you could be. A Hoseok-shaped space over your heart, wrenched clean, bleeding because where he sits is so far. If the distance and wanting could make you bleed- you would be.

(Hoseok bit you to keep you close because, for a second, it felt like you were about to pull back. His alpha didn't like that.)

You bristle an omega that needs settling. Hoseok almost wants to bare his teeth at how on edge it makes him. You smell so needy. Sticky sweet the way that Jungkook does sometimes. Hoseok's half surprised that the other omega didn't get to you before he did. Usually, Jungkook is the kinda of packmate who notices these things.

You flush hot. Half anger, half wanting. "Bitch-"

Hoseok reaches down between his legs for the lever under the seat to push it back. He pushes his seat away from the steering wheel and makes room for you. He parts his legs wide and gestures to his lap.

"I said come here."

The beach is empty and so is your part of the parking lot. It's getting late, past sunset and into twilight. The butter in the back seat of the car gathers condensation and starts to thaw but you don't even think about it a little bit.

You don't think about the people who might be nearby, the people who Could clearly see what you're doing in the car as you clamber over the center console. You leave your shoes behind in the passenger seat (you already have a habit of taking them off in the car). Bruising knees as you move over to the driver’s seat planting hungry kisses along Hobi's cheek, his jaw, every inch of his skin that you can reach, and then his lips finally. So shaky with wanting that you're clumsy. gripping the front of his shirt.

You can feel his grin against every kiss. You can feel it when he starts to grimace and you pull back. Hobi winces covering your banged knee with his big palm. You'll definitely have a bruise tomorrow.

You just take his hand and put it on your hip higher, and he raises an eyebrow at your brazenness. "Wow, you really want it huh?" He taunts, and you melt against his front past the point of pretending that you're not fucking needy, that you don't need him and need this right now if he's willing to give it.

"Hobi please-"

He just laughs at you, "though you were gonna spontaneously combust watching Yoongi eat that tart- it was fucking hilarious."

You whine high and needy. But he likes to tease, and you like he when he teases. Is this what having sex with your best friend is like? All jokes and jabs and fun. It feels nice when you can feel Hobi's laugh this way. Pressed against your stomach when you shimmy closer. It’s a bit cold, but he's warm and big against your front sitting in his lap like that.

You lean back, and hit directly into the steering wheel and horn. You bury your blush in Hobi's chest as he laughs and laughs, and Hobi's hands fist on your hips, pulling you closer, then farther apart, then closer again.

"Hobi what if someone heard."

"They didn't- there's like no one here- fuck-" You feel his lips with every beat of your heart, kissing so hard it tastes like bruising.

He holds you around your waist and guides you into a subtle sloppy grind, he's only wearing his sweatpants, no boxers underneathand it's clear he's not as unaffected as he claims. The hardness tents in the gray frabric. Pushed up against you. His cock is already hard and firm and twitching.

The front seat of the Lambo is not as spacious as you'd like, but you don't care enough to move to the backseat. Already shaking from just a few kisses. You let out a small whine as he guides you to grind harder against his front, controlling your rhythm with two hands on your ass. You can tell you're getting sloppy, leaking slick. You feel hot all over, simmering as Hobi looks up at you and grins.

"You're like totally gonna cum from this-"

"Oh my god shut up-"

He leans in to bite the tip of your nose, "Make me."

A nearby gull caws loudly, dissonant with the darkness, it’s just a hair past twilight, and the streetlights cast his face in yellow and blue chiaroscuro. It's not private at all but it's perfect and as easy as breathing. Your hips, his hips, and not an inch of space between.

You curse Tae who finally convinced you to buy jeans again as Hobi helps you pull them off, jostling you, hitting your head on the top of the car with a muted "ow!"

Hobi kisses the top of your head holding it reverently while he giggles, and it feels like you're a pair of teenagers again. It feels like for all intents and purposes the last month hasn't happened- like you're right back to where you left off. None of this is heavy, none of it hurts.

The kisses don't stop. Migrating from your mouth down under your jaw, the hollow of your throat. You've soaked through the front of your panties, and Hobi pulls back to look down. Touching the little damp patch you've left against the front of his sweats humming thoughtfully. Breathing a little heavy. Hair all pulled at and messy from where you ran your fingers through it.

The quirk of his mouth is mischievous, "wanna rile the others up?"

You scoot back a bit, grinning, loving Hoseok is like a super special inside joke. "Just don't get my face."

Hobi snaps a picture of your thighs on either side of his, your pussy, barely clothed in semi-translucent fabric all dark blue. His cock wet and hard straining up against the grey sweats. He sends it and then throws it to the passenger seat to jerk you closer.

Hoseok’s phone starts vibrating almost immediately but texts go unanswered, every call goes unanswered in favor of shimmying his sweatpants down and letting his cock pop up, a pearly bit of precum already wetting the tip.

You still, and he guides his cock up at the same moment he settles you down, hand cupping your hip to guide you, pulling your soaking underwear to the side in his haste. His teeth grit and he sighs, you're so warm, so hot inside.

"There you go, is that better?"

"Fuck," you murmur, sinking down slowly, giving yourself time to adjust before your riding goes, still syrupy slow. “So much better.” You don’t want to thank him for something like this but you do anyway.

It’s unhurried as he pulls you closer and closer. You don't know why Hobi likes to fuck like this, so close and slow. Barely pulling back to fuck his cock in, he just keeps you close and lets you grind wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you as close as he can get you. The car starts to rock, squeaking, and the sounds of sex greet you as Hoseok fucks up into your wet hole. All sloppy and wet sounding, coupled with the smacks of your kisses.

“So fucking wet all the time, so fucking messy,” he growls out, and you whimper, pressing your face into his neck and gripping his arms helplessly.

“Can’t help it- can’t-”

He rises up, hands bunching in your short-cropped zip-up sweatshirt, to pick up up and down, up and off of his cock. Hoseok usually isn’t so physically strong, but he helps you ride him, making it faster and filthier. The fabric slides off your shoulders with the hastiness of your grinding, and the white tank top with the thin straps fall down to your elbow. He bites with his teeth when you clench around him, listening to the thud thud thud of your heart and counting every breath.

You get sweaty and sticky until the back seat of the car and all the windows fog up. Hobi kisses endlessly up and down your throat as his hands hold you loose and gentle and then tighter as he continues to force you up and down at a maddening pace.

Even with you on top, Hoseok is still an alpha, still needs to be in control. You can't move even a little bit without him controlling where you go. He pulls you back down into his lap and then pulls you tighter, forcing his cock deeper. You feel like you can feel Hobi all the way in your throat, letting out a weak sob.

"There we fucking go-"

"Fuck Hobi! I'm- please- I need-"

"You can- just-"

At the last moment, Hoseok's hand settles not on your side, but on your stomach, pressing down. you paw at his wrist helplessly.

"Don't! if you do that i'm gonna-"

But it's already too late, You cum, so worked up that it doesn’t take much, You'd like to think that you only squirt because he's making the fit extra tight with his hands, or because it's been a long time since you've cum at all. But you blush furiously as your cunt continues to spasm and drip.

Your Hand on the door keeps yourself up a little, almost forcing Hobi's cock out of you with how hard you clench down and drip slick onto his lap. Letting out a loud moan that someone could certainly hear if they were standing just outside the car.

Hoseok just fucking giggles.

You teeter, cumming so hard you're dizzy, Head lolling to the side until he guides you to rest against his shoulder. "I've got you, I'm sorry- that was mean," he drags his teeth down your scent gland and you tremble.

Hobi pulls back to look at the wet splatter. The front of his white shirt is translucent. He touches where it clings to his abs. Flexing and twitching. And then he looks up at you. As you shakily come down, keeping your pussy up, the head of his cock is still inside but not much else.

He pulls you back down, hard, and you yelp. hoseok has something in his eyes that's just as hungry as you were, something that you wouldn't be able to explain. You cumming doesn't make him quiet, it only makes him hungrier.

He guides you to bounce, up and down, at a faster pace, chasing his own orgasm now. "So, fucking needy, that's what you needed right?" He growls and you nod. Helpless. He forces you down on his slowly inflating knot a little, hard enough for you to feel it.

Your socked toes curl where you're kneeling, and he strokes up one of them. You jerk, ticklish, whimpering, body humming and oversensitive (is this how Jimin feels all the time?) His hand slides up your knee to grip you harder, and you squirm on his cock.

You rest your cheek on his shoulder, looking up at him. A little cock drunk, a little fucked out. "Like it when you call me needy, like it-" he kisses your slack mouth, bitten, pinker. "Cause it means you know I need you and you don't mind." you babble, and Hoseok just grins.

"Could never mind," His kisses interrupt his words. Like he can't be bothered to remove his lips from your skin long enough to speak. "need you too."

Hobi cums and his cock twitches. The smell of gasoline and burning tires on your skin. His knot inflates so quick and hard that you jerk, with little control of your body, curled to his chest- there’s little place for you to go. Shivering and twitching as his cum spurts, hot and wet filling you up with a sigh.

Which is how your face ends up hitting right up into his nose.

Hoseok has had more violent comedowns as he clutches his nose throbbing, wet and slimy blood. “What the actual fuck” you’re murmuring out sorry after sorry, still knotted together unable to move from his lap more than scrabbling at the passenger seat for some tissues, panicking until he starts to laugh.

And he's not angry no- he just laughs and wipes away the blood from his lips. “Not broken, don’t worry fuck-” it's payment for the teasing from earlier- karmatic because you don't like your alphas bloody. you hold the napkin to hoseok's nose and try not to move, his cock still occasionally twitching with a fresh spurt of cum. The nosebleed is over in a second.

It feels strange to laugh over something like blood, especially after the last few weeks you've had. But for once- it doesn't trigger either of you. He holds you close and gets blood on your sweatshirt probably but the car is full of the sound of laughter whereas 3 a minute ago it was full of the sloppy sounds of car sex and moaning.

“M’sorry”

His hands go up and down your waist, hungry, your slick is cooling and the sweat on the back of his neck is turning balmy. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean too.”

You try to pull back and squirm away from the way he’s holding you, but he holds you firmly against him. “Knots gotta go down soon, just stay like this a while.”

You settle, and he scents the top of your head, it’s useless, anyone will be able to tell what you’ve been doing after this, you can feel his cock twitch wet as he cums again a little more, and your pussy clamps down, milking his knot for all it’s worth. You sigh at the feeling.

Compared to your other packmates Hoseok is such a comfortable fit. Whereas when Namjoon knots you you can hardly move, Hoseok's knot is almost comforting. Soothing. The ache in you that wants to be filled truly quiet. (If you got a tape out and measured, you'd see that Hoseok's knot thickness is only a little wider than Namjoon's fully hard)

Alpha musk sweetens the air in satisfaction, but also challenge, the way that Hoseok smells when he and Jimin wrestle and he gains the upper hand- however briefly. Definitely not the way that the alphas usually smell after popping a knot.

You recognize the cross look on his face and aim to kiss it off of him. planting the type of kiss that almost always makes Hobi smile at the corner of his lips.

You pause for a second, for dramatic effect, but it still doesn't make him stop his pouting. “Okay- now you’ve got to tell me what's wrong you’re still literally inside me and you’re not smiling-” you laugh against his throat, pull back worried, “not that you have to be happy fuck- I didn’t mean-”

Your words jog him out of his thoughts and shimmies forward, Hoseok pecks your nose, your lips, still warm from your sighs and moans that he got out of you. His shifting causes his cock and knot to rub up and more fully inside you just slightly, forcing a tiny bit of cum to slip out, cooling and sticky.

But oh well- the inside of the lambo has seen worse messes in recent weeks. You sigh at the movement and rest your face against the hollow of Hobi’s throat, pouting petulantly as he continues the small juts of his hips, content to rip another orgasm out of you (although the front of his white shirt is already soaked translucent with it). He's competitive like that.

You grab his arms to try and slow him, already a little overstimulated and unable to feel your thighs, but Hoseok just grabs your waist and lifts you up, however briefly- to seat you more firmly on his knot, "Hobi fuck-"

There's an itch under his skin that just won't quiet down. Won't settle. You can see that now, his instincts are on edge, gnashing their teeth.

You tilt your throat, offering it up, bearing it to him.

Hoseok watches the action, eyes flinty. Sounding too serious. "How many times does Yoongi usually make you cum?"

Your eyes flutter, and he settles you back against his chest, his heart thuds quick against your ear, "like two or three times usually." Hoseok's knot deflated enough to pull out and he does it slowly, mindful of how sore you must be.

Hoseok goes slowly, but he’s still cum enough that you can’t clench closed enough to keep his cum in, you try and stop it but Hoseok catches your wrist so that you drip out, down, hitting the leather seat. He can’t stop watching you clench, hole pink and fucked, clit twitching because of him. Rubbing smooth circles on your thighs transfixed for a second but then reaching for his phone because.

“Fuck- Namjoon’s gonna go crazy.”

You cover your flaming face with your hands but you let Hoseok send another picture. This time of your wet and messy entrance, pink clit, a bit of his cum in the picture, dripped milky around the leather seat it's- fuck It's utterly pornographic. Might just as well send Namjoon into a rut with how fucking provocative it is.

Hoseok takes another, pressing the head of his cock to your hole, not inside, but just close enough that it's like they're kissing. Hot and wet and dripping with your slick and his cum. pooling a little on the head of his cock.

Hoseok sends it, and immediately gets another call from Namjoon. Hoseok sends it to voicemail only to grin at the amount that the pack alpha has already left.

“Guess how many voicemails he left?” You’re still shaking, still trembling from how hard you came, but Hoseok is so unaffected, all languid and satisfied.

“I don’t know, four?”

Hoseok laughs, husky, and pecks your shoulder. “Fucking seven” he clicks one and you laugh out loud for the scrabbling in the background alone.

“Jimin you are not going to drive to them- calm the fuck down.” Jin's says, sounding angry, in the background but Namjoon’s is deep. More of a growl. “Pups, come home right now, preferably before you end up knotted to each other in public,”

he snickers, "Too late."

You shimmy forward. Unwilling to separate from Hobi even though you're not knotted together anymore. You wouldn't mind just staying like this, cuddled up against his chest. But Hoseok knows what you want, what you need. He pulled out a little too soon (not for the knot, with that he was very very gentle) but because of your instincts. You still need him close.

He sinks inside of you with a sigh and you sniffle, “Keep it nice and warm yeah?” He teases, and you swat at his arm but let him. The drag is hot and filthy and slow.

You think that’s all he’ll do until He reaches down between the two of you to put his thumb and pointer finger around your clit. You jerk, scrambling to grip onto his wrist as he tugs.

“I thought you said Yoongi made you cum 2 or 3 times."

"Yes but- I'm sensitive."

"I like that you're sensitive, for the record, even though I'm probably going to tease you about this later." His voice is so husky, so deep and alpha that you melt and let him do what he wants.

You gasp and he plays with your clit, actually plays with it, rubbing it this way and that. Parting your lips to watch it tremble as you try and clench. His cock twitches where it fills you, starting to rock up and into you just a bit.

“That’s all you wanted right, just someone to touch you right here" He teases, eyes dark, breathing through his teeth as you clench. You tremble from overstimulation but nod dumbly.

Hoseok rubs the tight v of his fingers up and down, popping your clit up and down, such small movements that drive you crazy. You can’t clench any harder around his knot ( starting to fill out again, starting to pulse thick and hot) but Hoseok groans as you try to hold onto him, fingers going faster, sloppier.

You lean back, putting your hands on his knees, letting him see all of you, the damp hem of your shirt where you made it messy. Your pink cunt all for his viewing pleasure as you pop yourself up and down his length.

"Can't-" You're dumb, actually unable to speak as Hoseok starts fucking you again in earnest. The drag so much wetter with his cum already filling you up, squishing out around his cock again.

“Can’t come again?” He raises an eyebrow. “What? You’ll come 3 times for Yoongi but you won’t for me?”

“That’s not- it’s not-“ You can’t think with the way he keeps rubbing, tiny little movements as he continues to tug and rub, the small movements maddening. “Alpha!” you cry as he tugs again, cumming so hard and Hoseok’s fingers- tug again, milking a bit of squirt from you. Just a bit.

You clench so hard it forces his knot out, cum and slick dripping everywhere. Darkening his sweatpants with a dark laugh.

He doesn't leave you unfilled for long, guiding his cock back and forcing it to pop back in. The car rocks and you sob. And yeah- this is exactly what you needed. Your brain shuts off for a bit. You needed someone to fuck and knot the thought out of you gently, but not so gently as to let your mind wander.

You can tell hobi's close by the tone of his voice, how close to a growl it is. “Gonna make you milk my knot, gonna make you cum until Yoongi will have to compete with me. Until I’m the one who-“ Hoseok cuts himself off as his knot pops for the second time.

His knot feels hotter the second time around, thicker too- maybe it’s just because you feel so tight and full of his cum.

It’s calm for a second, calm. The sound of the crashing waves, his breath as he breathes in deep. You don't know how long you stay like that, so close to each other that you can hardly breathe. His knot still hasn’t gone down. His breath and your breath, you kiss his temple his cheek. And when you pull back to look at him, his face has that same look to it. You don’t even have to ask him, he already knows that you're going to ask what he meant by the last bit.

“It’s nothing.” but you wait because you know it’s not and that he's just working up to it.

You kiss at his temple. (How lovely is it- that your favorite place to be kissed should be called the same name as a house of worship?) Hoseok kisses you back just as reverently.

Earlier when he was thinking about something, he got that competitive look on his face, and he wears that same look now. “It’s just, earlier I was thinking about it.”

“When you were frowning the first time?”

“No. At the house.” Hoseok is silent for another second, rubbing a soothing hand down your spine. And you realize you’re not afraid of anything he might say, not even a little bit, not even at all.

“You said, with Tae- that you wanted to marry her.”

Hoseok closes his eyes, just briefly. His eyelashes catch the light from the streetlamps. “I've never thought about getting married, not at all, and I'm not asking that's not- I'm not-" Hoseok sighs, frustrated. He's fine with dirty talk and teasing but this- this is so much harder to say.

"I was just looking at you and wondering...wondering why you chose her out of the whole pack and not someone else"

Why not me?

You and Hobi have agreed that saying the scary things is the way you get through it. Love will do you no good if you can’t do it scared.

You pull back and the look on your face makes Hobi blush, it’s so open and honest, like a hint of humor chased with all the love in the world. Hoseok pulls you tighter, more firmly against him in the front seat of the Lamborghini.

You’ve only been officially official for the last few weeks. But already Hobi can’t think of his life without you, can’t think of any world where you don’t mean just as much to him as the others do. If mating marks could go 8 ways it would be an easy choice, but they don’t work that way.

He’s never even called you his girlfriend for Christ’s sake. And he’s already talking about mating marks and marriage. and feeling hurt when you offer those shows of devotion to other people and not him. Jealousy in packs shouldn't exist, but it sort of does sometimes. You nudge his nose with yours. A small little nuzzle. “You and I are more matching tattoo people, aren’t we? I thought you’d want more than just a ring.”

A laugh jumps out of Hoseok’s chest like lightning, surprising him with how little he expects it, “Really? Fuck- you’d get matching tattoos with me?”

You lift his palm up to your throat, the blank side and then the one marred by Yoongi’s mating bite. “I’ve already got one mark on me that I can’t erase, gotta give you the same treatment.”

He’s a little speechless, eyes glittering with stars (they’re just from the streetlights but still) you keep it going. “If you could bite me? Where would you put it?”

Hoseok sits up straight, dragging his kiss down the side of your throat, “here maybe?” the tops of your breasts, “or here maybe,” next to your heart, Hoseok brings his hand to his face, kissing the center of it. “Probably here.”

You cover his hand with yours and then grip his shoulder, thumb rubbing up and down his pectoral, your foreheads resting against each other.

“If you ever need, if you ever want- like today- you can just ask me.”

“You sure? It wouldn’t be like- too much?” you don’t say her name, you don’t say that it would be like before. But Hoseok closes his eyes, he knows you won’t ever do anything like that. He doesn’t honestly think you’d be capable of that…the guilt and the forcing.

Hoseok isn’t worried about it in the slightest. He knows if he ever felt even a bit like that, he could tell you and you’d stop without a second thought. Whatever you need. (If that doesn’t count as marriage, I’m not sure what god is looking for.)

“I’m sure. I like this, it’s nice.” It’s nice when it’s just the two of us, you’re my best friend.

You’re coming down, still resting against his chest. Hoseok’s knot will have deflated enough for him to pull out without pain in a few moments, a few breaths as you exchange sleepy soft kisses. Nowhere to go and nowhere to be. The panic has worn out of you. The frantic desire simmering low and sated in your veins. The fire turned down low. The fear was non-existent.

Until a loud screech punctuates the quiet.

It’s pretty immediate how everything falls apart. One moment you and Hobi are curled up against each other. And the next second you look over his shoulder and see the red and blue flashing lights. You have seconds, maybe a breath before the sirens blare and those lights flash brighter. A foreign voice coming over the loudspeaker shattering the quiet. “Stay where you are!”

“Shit! Hobi!” Hoseok jerks, you are still knotted together but he pulls you off of him with little care for your comfort. You don’t blame him too panicked as you slide to the passenger seat and he tucks his cock back into his sweats. Reaching for your jeans a second too late.

“Crap- pull up your pants- oh fucking hell-“

Both of you turn syrupy slow when the police officer taps on his window. Shining his light inside of the foggy car.

~-~

Please Like, Comment, and Reblog! Every bit of encouragement helps me write the next chapter!

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Notes:

yoongi gets fewer parts in this chapter because he's going to get a dedicated moment in the next chapter!!!

to be honest- i'm not really totally sure that jimin in bily has autisim or not- if he does have autism slightly or not, he does have the same sort of sensory issues that i do, i guess i can't answer the question for jimin because i can't answer it for myself yet.

jimin like me- realizes that the sensory stuff really affects him- i think he's never been allowed to realize how things make him feel. he's never been that sure of his emotions and his feelings.

if leg hair has one hater it's me, if leg hair has no haters then i am dead.

i wrote this chapter with the understanding that if jimin does have some form of psychopathy- then jin certainly does have it too- like out of all of them i think that the dynamic that fits them best is "jimin is crazy and knows it, jin is crazy and doesn't know it."

Song inspiration is just Rm's- Around the world in a day. i know we only have one song but!!! what a break of charecter!!

was i inspired by namjoons "she a pro-rida, Oo Oo Oo Oo rida~" for this chapter? yes i was. and what about it??

hoseok and the m/c are such a mess i swear to god i love them so much like- they're just so cute in their little car sex scene.

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2chopsticks2eyes · 1 year

Text

The Color Of Your Blush

2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist

Pairing: Lee Minho/Lee Know x Fem Reader

Themes: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: ~30k | AO3

Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Alcohol, Cussing, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Alternate Universe, Vaginal Sex, Protected Sex, Loss of Virginity, First Times, Dry Humping

Summary: Your brother Changbin forces your introverted ass to get out of the house and meet his friends. When you meet them, Jisung, Chan, and Minho push the boundaries of your social anxiety. You have absolutely no romantic experience, but your mind is plagued with thoughts of Minho. You think he likes to just tease you, but is it really just teasing?

Author's Note: This work was inspired by my best friend who used to severely suffer from social anxiety. I usually don't portray the MC this way, but I thought I would change it up a bit. Let me know what you think!

__________________________________________

You were still hiding in your room, reading some book about two lovers with a plot that would make you die of embarrassment if anyone discovered the contents. Your form was balled up on your Papasan chair in the corner when you heard your brother’s voice.

“Noona! Come on! We’re going to be late!” Changbin always had the loudest voice you had ever heard and you cursed him for it because he knew you couldn’t just pretend you didn’t hear him. You felt a wave of automatic panic as you heard footsteps heading upstairs to your room. You quickly threw off your reading glasses and jumped under your duvet, turning your back to the door and hoping he would think you had dozed off.

When you heard the door to your room open, you went as stiff as a board. “I know you're not sleeping, little shit.” You remained motionless, still having a sliver of hope that he was bluffing. You heard footsteps getting closer and you squeezed your eyes shut.

You heard him walk right in front of you.

He was silent, not doing anything.

Had you fooled him?

Before you knew it, you were in the air and tossed over the man’s shoulders. “Changbin-ah! You put me down this instant dadgummit!”

“Nuh-uh you aren’t avoiding this AGAIN, noona. You can’t just stay holed up here 24/7! You have to get out and meet people! And, oh, I dunno, maybe get some fresh air like a normal human being.” He sat you down on your feet once he had brought you out into the hallway and shut the door behind him.

You glared at him and straightened out your shirt. “For your information, piglet, I go outside all the time! I have a job, y’know! And you would starve if I never bought any groceries!”

He rolled his eyes. “Okay, true. But you work at a quiet little bookstore and never go out for anything other than those two things. You can’t just stay holed up in this house after…” He bit his lip, knowing he shouldn’t bring up such a sensitive topic around you.

You pursed your lips. “Yeah, I know…” You said bitterly. “Well, let’s get this over with. If you are forcing me to go out to meet your friends, it’s best to just get on with it.” You pushed past him to descend the stairs and saw him hang his head from the corner of your eye.

As you slipped your shoes on in the entryway, you heard him clear his throat from behind you. “Listen, noona, I really didn’t mean to–”

“I know Changbin-ah. It’s whatever. Let’s just go.” You tried to sound understanding, but it was a sore subject for you and you would rather not hash it out at the moment.

The car ride to dinner was tense. You knew he didn’t mean any harm and you felt guilty. You didn’t want to project your bitterness onto your baby brother, so you decided to snatch the aux cord from his phone. “Hey!”

You shushed him and he scowled at you. You knew just the song to get him going. Once the opening notes to ‘Pink Venom’ started playing, he flipped his demeanor like a switch.

You found his attempts of singing, dancing, and driving all at once adorable and cackled at his baby-like face. You grabbed the steering wheel when his dancing started getting a little bit too crazy. “Bin! Eyes on the road! It wasn’t my intention to render you moronic!” You quickly stopped the catchy tune and he whipped his head around to pout at you.

“Meanie.” He poked his tongue out at you and you responded in kind.

Unfortunately, your comfort space with your brother was replaced with anxiety once you two pulled up to the small restaurant. When he parked, Changbin looked at you with concern.

“I picked a quiet little hole in the wall for you, noona. Not many people will be here to bother your little introverted bubble.” He said amusedly.

You scowled at him. “Except for the people you are forcing me to meet.”

“Oh c’mon. It’s only three people and they’re chill guys… mostly! Don’t you want to meet your baby brother’s best friends?”

“No.” You said bluntly.

He deadpanned at you and sighed in disconcertment. “Well too bad, we’re already here and you get a free meal. Let’s go.” And with that, he turned off the car and hopped out to open your door (because he knew he would have to use force to unglue you from the seat).

You groaned when he pulled you out, fidgeting and trying to check your appearance in the reflection of the car window to make sure you didn’t look horrid when meeting these random people. The process was already terrifying and if you had something in your teeth or shit hanging out of your nose, you might as well die right then and there. You couldn’t stop the anxious thoughts. Shit, my eyes are so puffy today. Would they think I dressed up or dressed down too much? Has my hair always looked this dull? Would they think that I–

“Noona!” Changbin pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts and your anxious grooming as he placed a hand on your shoulder. “You look great. Stop overthinking it.”

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You can do this. It will be over before you know it and then you can return to the comfort of your own room. You nodded your head when you opened your eyes again. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

“That’s the spirit! Well… kinda.” He started walking to the entrance and you reluctantly followed behind.

You were startled out of your mind when the door opened and three guys in the back of the restaurant yelled Changbin’s name jovially, disturbing the few other guests that were enjoying their food. You kept your head down as you followed Changbin to the table, desperately trying to avoid eye contact.

“It’s about damned time you got here, we were about to start drinking without you!” One of the men said, a small, round face looking at your brother with a bright smile. You were hoping to hide behind the broad shoulders of your brother just a moment longer, but the bastard stepped aside and put a hand on your back to push you forward.

“Guys, this is my older sister, Y/N. Noona, this is Han Jisung–” He gestured to the brunette who had just spoken to him before. “Bang Chan-hyung–” He gestured to a handsome, broad-shouldered man with blonde hair and a sweet smile. “And Lee Minho-hyung–”

You were almost startled when you looked at the last one. His hair had the same red-orange intensity as fire and yet it looked silky smooth from where it was parted to the side, bangs loosely hanging over his forehead. He had a smile that seemed only out of courtesy and his eyes, albeit round and beautiful, were dark and full of mischief.

You painfully made eye contact with each one and bowed your head. A small “Nice to meet you” was forced from your mouth and you hated yourself for sounding so pathetic. Changbin pulled out a chair for you right next to the terrifying man and you froze.

“Come on, noona. He won’t bite.”

“Speak for yourself asshole.” Minho flashed a half smile at you, making your face turn an embarrassing shade of red, and guffawed while mock pointing at Changbin when he tried to look intimidating.

You were used to Changbin cursing, and you cursed like a sailor in your own mind, but when it came to speaking… Well, you just felt bashful as hell. The words these men were throwing around were intimidating and you shakily sat down and focused on one of the water glasses that was on the table.

“We were so excited to meet you!” The one named Chan said. “Changbin talks about you all the time. It’s great to finally see the highly esteemed older sister! Changbin said you're only a year older than I am? A ‘96 girl right?” Your heart swelled in adoration of your baby brother.

“That’s right…” You didn’t want to be rude and not look at the man when he talked, but your eyes kept bouncing back to your fidgeting hands.

“Cool! We’re all a year apart! Minho-hyung is only a year younger than Chan-hyung. Then it’s Changbin-hyung, then me.” The small, squirrel-looking boy said.

“Yeah, maybe Minho will stop calling me old now.” Chan glared at Minho and the younger looked amused.

You looked up to meet eyes with the aforementioned man and immediately looked away again, flickering your eyes between the table and the man’s slowly growing smirk. “I wouldn’t count on it, hyung.” Minho said to Chan without removing his intense gaze from your face.

“So, noona…” Jisung said excitedly. “What do you do for a living?”

You cleared your throat, hoping that would help you to not sound so terrified. “I-I work at a bookstore.” A waiter walked up and silently set water glasses down for you and Changbin and you were grateful to have something to hold onto instead of fiddling with your fingers and scratching your arm relentlessly.

“You like reading? So you’re smart AND beautiful. Are you sure you’re Changbin’s sister?” Jisung ducked away from the inevitable punch that Changbin inflicted on his arm.

You blushed furiously from the compliment, but you lightly snickered at the man’s joke with your hand over your mouth.

“Ahh so she can laugh, huh?” Your smile was immediately wiped from your face and your attention returned to the intimidating man beside you. Your eyes widened at him, but then habitually looked away again.

You were dumbfounded by his statement. “O-of course I know how to laugh…” You mumbled.

“Oh really?” He put his elbow on the table and propped his chin up on his fist, completely facing you and making you feel small and observed like a zoo animal by the men surrounding you. “I think a little alcohol would soothe your nerves, what do you say?”

You went bug-eyed and shook your head, finally looking at Minho’s face for more than two seconds. “No no no no no! I barely ever drink… Also, I’m a super lightweight, I’ll get plastered after only a couple drinks!” You were surprised that your words didn’t falter even once. Nor did your gaze upon the man that was staring back with a smirk.

“Even better.”

- - - - - - - - - -

You were about one and a half small cocktails in and you could already feel your inhibitions failing you. You could almost hazily make eye contact and you were able to respond to the men without stuttering. Well, instead, your words kind of blended together.

Changbin had gotten up to go piss for the umteenth time since everyone started drinking and you had gotten less and less claustrophobic around the men. “Come on, noona! The rest of us are already on our third drink! You need to catch up!” Minho said with a voice just a tad too loud for the small place that all other customers had cleared out of. However, Jisung agreed with just as much fervor.

“Oh, no. I really don’t. Trust me.” You put your hands in front of yourself, waving them like it would ward off the idea.

“Don’t pressure her, children.” You lightly giggled at the name Chan called them and he sent you a wink, making your face flush and look down again. “If she doesn’t want to drink, she doesn’t have to.” You smiled shyly at the curly-haired blond and he gave you a wide smile back, making you shy once again.

You heard a ‘tsk’ from beside you and you meekly turned to look at the fiery red-haired man in the seat next to yours. He was side-eyeing you as he took a drink from his glass. When he sat the glass back down, he tilted his head and smiled at you wickedly. You quickly averted your eyes.

“I suppose the princess doesn’t have it in her. Poor thing.” He paused when you spared him a glance to glower at him. “How adorable~” He said condescendingly while pouting his lower lip at you. You blushed furiously. But you couldn’t control the disbelieving huff that escaped your mouth. The nerve of this guy.

Without further ado, you downed your cocktail, and then turned to take his drink and down the rest of its contents as well, keeping your challenging eyes on him all the while.

Everyone stayed silent for a beat. “Holy shit, Min. I think you just royally fucked up.” Chan said in a panicked voice as all three pairs of eyes looked at you in shock.

Once he said that you also panicked. Now you know that you royally fucked up if these guys were so shaken. You heard Minho clear his throat and saw him put on a beautiful half-grin. Was he this gorgeous this whole time? “Looks like you’ve finally loosened up. Now, tell us about yourself…” Goddamn, I’ll tell you anything you want to know if you keep talking to me like that.

“Um…” You were lost in his eyes as his amused grin turned into a gentle one. You quickly had to shake yourself out of your stupor. However, when you shook your head around, the room started spinning and your mind escaped you even further…

- - - - - - - - - -

The next time you roused to consciousness, your head was in a nasty public toilet as you looked over to see Changbin holding your hair back, the three men fretting in the doorway. “You motherfuckers! She told you she was a lightweight! Why the fuck did you egg her on?!” You felt like your brain was in a blender as your vision made the room spin.

Minho leaned against the door jam, trying to seem completely blasé, but there was a hint of nervousness in his body language. “My bad, man. I didn’t expect her to chug a fucking pint.”

“She is vomiting her guts out and all you can say is ‘my bad’?!” You hastily turned your face back to the unsanitary bowl and violently vomited up another round of stomach acid, almost vomiting again when you felt the nasty toilet water splash up on your face from the velocity of your retching. You were heaving from the force and pain of it all.

“B-Binnie.” You sobbed, tears and snot streaming down your face and overwhelming embarrassment encompassing you.

You felt his free hand rub your back. “It’ll be okay, sweetie.” He picked a water glass up off the floor and held it up to you. “I really need you to drink this, noona. It will help.” You gagged at the thought of drinking any kind of liquid ever again and with the gag, came the flood. You belched out another round of your innards.

You were violently sobbing now and you turned your face away from the men, not wanting them to see your sorry state. “B-Binnie… I-I want to go home…” You meekly sobbed and he hugged you as best as he could in your uncomfortable position.

“I’ll take you there, hun. But you’ve got to drink this first. I don’t want you to get dehydrated.”

Another sob wrecked your body. “Can you make them leave? Please?” You said in a low voice, hoping they wouldn’t hear. You were mortified already, you would rather not have them see you in this state any longer.

“Of course, sweetie.” You heard him shift to face the door. “You guys just get the fuck out of here, yeah? We will talk about this later…”

“Whatever…” You heard Minho’s frustrated voice leave you and you were shaking with sobs.

Jisung and Chan attempted a small “I’m sorry, noona.” Before they, too, were sent away.

If anything had come out of this night, it was the fact that you were right about meeting anyone new. You were never leaving your house ever again…

- - - - - - - - - -

“Noona, how many times do I have to say I’m sorry? I had no clue that you would get that wasted! Neither did they!” It had been about a week and you refused to talk to your brother. Your hangover was probably the worst experience you had ever had in your life. Although getting shitfaced to the point of up-chucking violently in front of your brother’s friends was pretty high up there. “Noona, please talk to me…”

He was pressed against the other side of your locked door and you had refused to respond. You only left the house to go to work and you had to sneak out so he wouldn’t ambush you. You just didn’t have the emotional strength to be interrogated. You couldn’t count the number of times you had cried from embarrassment. My god I am so weak.

You were afraid you were going to go crazy at this point, especially with the constant pounding on the door.

You tried stuffing your head under a pillow, hiding under a fortress of blankets on your bed, anything to ignore his persistent plea. You huffed and peeked your head out to glare at the door. “I DON’T WANT TO TALK, BIN! LEAVE. ME. ALONE.” You were surprised at how pissed you sounded.

“Y/N-noona please PLEASE talk to me. You can’t stay mad at me forever…” He sounded desperate and tired and you felt guilty. This wasn’t his fault. It was yours. You gave in to peer pressure while he was gone and now he is paying for it.

You sighed dejectedly and climbed out of bed to unlock the door. When you opened it, Chanbin looked at you like you had risen from the grave. “Oh god, noona!” He wrapped you in his arms and you choked as he squeezed the life out of you. When he released you, you looked at him with an annoyed expression.

“Yah, I’m not mad at you, loser.” He looked perplexed at your words. “I’m mad at myself for giving in so easily just to prove myself… I’m mad that I made myself look like an idiot in front of your friends. But most of all, I’m mad that I even let myself be dragged out of the house in the first place… I’m not the kind of person that can easily befriend people like you can, Bin. It’s just not in the cards for me… I’m too… messed up…” You looked down at the shaggy carpet of your room that contrasted with the hardwood floor of the hallway and you anxiously twiddled with the fringe of fabric separating the two with your toes.

“Noona…” Changbin looked crestfallen when you glanced back up at him.

“Don’t worry about me, Binnie. Go out and have fun for the both of us, yeah?” You forced a smile on your face and he just looked even more upset. He always could tell when you were faking it.

“How about this…” You sighed at his words, knowing he was going to propose something that was sure to sound utterly unpleasant to you. “Let’s walk down to the ice cream shop down the block. The one we always used to sneak out to as kids?” Your internal conflict was written all over your face. “Please? For old time’s sake?”

His desperate expression had you defeated. You were always weak for your baby brother. You sighed and turned back to your room. “Let me change clothes real quick…”

You heard the man squeal from behind you and you felt arms wrap around and squeeze you painfully from behind. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” You felt him plant forceful kisses on the back of your head, basically head-butting you with his lips, and you jabbed your elbow in his side.

“Gross, Bin! Get the heck out of here!” He ran off down the hall giggling like a little school girl and you rolled your eyes, unable to keep the fond smile off your face. Baby Changbin indeed.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Mint Chocolate Chip.”

“Cookie Dough.”

“Cookies and Cream.”

“Birthday Cake.”

“Pistachio.”

“Ew! No. Just no. I reject that as an ice cream category. It’s unlawful.”

“Hey! Don’t knock it ‘til you try it!” Changbin pointed at you with his spoon to emphasize his case.

You scrunched your face up and took a large bite of your strawberry ice cream and kept a disgusted look on your face. “You have some sort of mental illness, child.” You mumbled the words through the cold glob that was coating your taste buds.

“Don’t care if that means I win. You stopped the categories!”

“Nope, you just don’t know what real flavors are.” You were strong in your resolve and wouldn’t back down.

“Sure, sweetie. Whatever you say.” Changbin said with a condescending voice and you glared at him.

Three things happened in that moment.

First, you scooped out a large bite of your ice cream and promptly dropped the cold treat directly on the breast of your white Led Zeppelin t-shirt (and no, you were not a fake fan).

Two, Changbin, the little shit, pointed and laughed as you desperately tried to clean yourself up with the awful dinging noise that indicated more customers and potential onlookers were filtering in, much to your dismay.

And three, from the other side of the small, ancient ice cream parlor, you heard a familiar voice call out your brother’s name.

No.

Oh no.

Please don’t tell me it’s…

You and Changbin looked at each other and he donned a shocked face while you wore a terrified one. He whispered as the three men made their way toward your booth. “I swear I didn’t say anything to them. You’ve got to believe me. I–”

This can’t be happening to me…

You desperately took all the napkins and tried to get the remnants of the sugary treat off your shirt, but it was no use. The pink, sugary treat had entirely soaked through. When you looked back up, the three men were staring at you. Well. More like staring at the object of your complete demise.

After they all took a good, long look at your breasts, Chan cleared his throat and elbowed the men on each side of him. “Oh! Hey noona! We didn’t expect to see you two here!”

You met eyes with all three men. Jisung, who had a worried, but welcoming expression. Chan who had a strained but bright smile, and Minho who went from looking at your face to somewhere off to the side with his lower lip sucked in.

You went into fight or flight mode and you obviously chose the ladder. You flew out of your seat, pushing your way past Minho who inconveniently stood at the exit of your side of the booth, and ran from the parlor. You had embarrassed tears welling up in your eyes, but you willed them away. You could cry in the comfort of your own room.

“Noona!” You heard the velvety voice yell from behind you and you ran faster, knowing the owner of the voice was the worst of them.

You didn’t even realize you were outmatched in speed until you felt a hand wrap around your arm. You whipped around in terror as you saw a heavily breathing Minho gently grasping your wrist. “You– *huff* forgot this…” He was struggling to catch his breath as he held your purse out to you.

You kept your eyes glued to the pavement as he released your wrist and you nodded your head with a whispered and tiny “Thank you…” Not even sure he heard you as you gently grasped the small item from his outstretched hand.

You turned to continue getting home as fast as possible. “I’m sorry, noona…” You froze in your tracks at the three words. “Please don’t blame the others, I… I was the one that pressured you. Blame me.”

You didn’t say anything or turn around, you just stood there with your eyes on the withering cracks of the sidewalk as he spoke.

“I know you probably hate me…” You winced. “But I really am sorry. We’ve all been shitfaced before, so we know how you feel–”

“No you don’t.” You interjected in a small voice again. Surprising even yourself. “I…” You sighed. Your mouth refused to say any more and your mind was still in flight mode. You had lost control over your anxious tears and you furiously wiped them away. You couldn’t think of anything to say. He was obviously waiting for a response and you were so inept at talking to people that you couldn’t will yourself to form any proper words. So you whispered out the only words that you had down to a T. “I’m sorry…” And then you were running again.

- - - - - - - - - -

You took one step forward and two steps back. You swore on your life that you would never see those men again and you repeatedly told your brother that. He kept on saying shit like “It’s not as bad as you think” and “They think it’s more cute than embarrassing”.

Bullshit.

You had always unintentionally worn your insecurities on the outside as if they were tattooed on your forehead. You could barely speak to anyone now, too anxious about how people would think of you if you said anything or stuck around too long. The only people you said more than a few words to were your coworkers and Changbin.

That wasn’t cute. It was pitiful.

Anxiety flared up any time a customer approached you and asked for help. You just quickly and quietly directed them to a regular customer service employee. It’s not like you didn’t know the answers to their question, hell, you had been working there for six years, you knew this cozy, backstreet bookstore like the back of your hand. But speaking to customers was damn near impossible.

It was more of a vintage lounge. Where books were either bought new or recycled as books that had been loved and then discarded. It was deceptively large on the inside, it just seemed small because there were so many narrow rows and nooks where you would find either rows and rows of books, or small, hidden areas with cozy furniture to lounge around and read in. Although it was aged and isolated, you loved this place more than anything in the world.

Your boss was more than accommodating after your… incident a couple of years back, and she basically made you a special role to help out with the shop in the background. You were in charge of bookkeeping, organizing, pricing, cleaning, stocking snacks for the customers, and best of all, reading. You were accountable for adding to the shelf of ‘SHOP FAVORITES’ and that was everything you could have asked for. You could have kissed your boss if she wasn’t a seventy-year-old married woman.

Because you did all of this, she assured you that you wouldn’t have to speak to a single customer other than to redirect them to another clerk. That other clerk being the freckled, ray of sunshine in your life.

“NOONA!” You swiveled your head towards the familiar voice coming down the aisle, only briefly seeing his long, blonde head of hair before he crashed into you in a suffocating embrace. “I’ve missed you!” He wouldn’t let go and you smiled at how endearing it was. You hugged him back and patted his head.

“Felix, I literally just saw you the day before yesterday.”

He released you and looked dumbfounded. “It’s really only been that long? It feels like it’s been ages!” You giggled. It had taken a while to get used to Felix. At first, you were terrified of his boisterous demeanor and persistent attempts at befriending you. It didn’t take long for him to charm you into warming up to his sweet, bubbly personality.

Without a doubt, you could say he was your best friend.

He took your hand and led you to one of the reading nooks in the very back of the winding aisles and narrow hallways of the store which people rarely went to. This was yours and Felix’s ‘semi-secret hideout’ where he liked to gossip (although you really had nothing to gossip about).

“So, have you seen them again?” You cursed ever telling Felix about your fiasco. It had been a couple of weeks since the hell you went through at the ice cream parlor and you only went out if it was absolutely necessary.

“No, Felix. And I WON’T see them again. I’ve already told you this.” You sighed and crossed your legs on the comfy, beaten-up lounge chair that you had stuck your claim on when you and Felix conquered this part of the store.

“Aww come on, beautiful! You’re going to be single forever at this point! You’re not getting any younger you kn–”

“I know. I know. You’ve said it all before… Plus, those are Bin’s friends! I can’t go out with them even if I wanted to!” You reiterated.

“Why not? In my opinion, that’s the best-case scenario! He obviously already approves of them. Are you telling me that none of those men seemed attractive to you?”

You stayed silent. You couldn’t tell Felix that those men were the most beautiful beings you had ever laid eyes on or else he would never stop bugging you about it. Might as well give a vague answer. “...I never said that…”

“SEE!!” You rolled your eyes.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Not in a million years.” He had a cheeky smile on his face and you put your head in your hands. “Speaking of dating…” Oh no, here we go again. “When are you going to set me up with that hunky brother of yours?”

“Felix. You saw him one time for two minutes when he brought me some tampons. Hardly the first impression, don’t you think?” You scoffed at your best friend’s obsession with your brother. It was only based on the fact that “he’s sooo muscular” or “he has the cutest smile” according to Felix.

“That’s the thing! Only the sweetest of men would bring their baby sister something so private!” He looked up at the ceiling dreamily.

“Hey! I’m older than him! HE is MY baby brother!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you’re ancient.” You tried to slap him, but he slithered away before you could, standing and running off with a maniacal giggle. You stood up as well and huffed out a laugh and shook your head, smiling at the amusement and fondness the ray of sunshine brought you.

You figured you had better get back to work as well. Let’s see, what were you needing to do next?

Before you even had a chance to finish that thought, you froze in fear as you heard someone shuffling down the aisle leading to your private nook. Please tell me it’s Felix because I am absolutely trapped.

Much to your dismay, it was not. And even more to your dismay, the features of the customer as you saw him start to round the corner to your little hideout were getting more and more familiar.

Run. There was nowhere to run. Could you hide? No, that’s ridiculous. He’s getting closer…

You froze in place and most likely looked like a frightened deer as he walked up to you with a bright smile.

“Chan…” You could barely even formulate his name off the tip of your tongue.

“Hey, noona! So good to see you! How are you?”

His smile was bright and your limbs went stiff and you hunkered down when he unexpectedly pulled you in for an engulfing hug. “W-w-w-w-wha–?!”

“I’ve been looking for you…” He cut off your panicked blabbering as he released you. “Changbin actually told me you work here. And your sweet little freckled coworker told me you’d be back here. He’s so cute and friendly!” Chan’s dimpled smile was mesmerizing and you knew Felix would melt if he knew this gorgeous man said that about him. “I really like this place! It’s got a mellow vibe.”

DAMN CHANGBIN! DAMN FELIX! DAMN EVERYONE!!! You made an oath to yourself to never talk to them again.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something…” You were almost on the brink of tears from your anxiety, but even your tear ducts were frozen in place along with your limbs as your arms curled in on themselves. “I wanted to apologize…”

Your doe eyes switched to bug-eyed as their attention switched from the aged carpet on the floor, to his bashful face. Why would he be apologizing?

“We never meant to embarrass you… When we met you at the restaurant, we thought you were pretty cool. Cute even.” CUTE?! You suddenly couldn’t breathe. “Anyway, we’re unbelievably sorry that we pressured you and made you sick. But most of all, we’re sorry that we have made you uncomfortable with us on several accounts.”

You didn’t know how to respond, (no surprise there). Not only because you were a major pussy, but because of the unexpected apology. Because he was being so kind and gentle to you. Most of all, it’s because his smile eased all of your tension and made you want to open up to him. That had never happened to you with a stranger and you didn’t know how to feel about it.

“This might be too much to ask, but do you think you would consider coming out with us to go bowling? Changbin will even be there…” He sounded so hopeful and his expression was pleading.

These men were apparently beyond sorry for the impression they gave you. Minho had done a full-on sprint just to give you your purse that Changbin could have easily brought you later on. And Chan even hunted you down to formally apologize and ask for another chance.

“There will be no more alcohol this time…” He said in a cute and hopeful voice that made you escape a tiny giggle behind your hand, surprising yourself and causing him to give you a gorgeous smile that made you weak at the knees.

“I… I will think about it…” You couldn’t look him in the eyes as you said it. Instead, you looked at the dilapidating bookshelf off to his right.

“Yes! A maybe is better than a no! Thank you, noona... Really.”

You offered him a tiny smile and then looked away again.

“Well then, I might see you on Saturday then. I’ll let you get back to work.” He said as he walked off backward with a wave and a blinding smile.

This was going to be terrifying.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Noona! Aren’t you coming?!” Changbin yelled from the hallway.

Again, you were holed up in your room. Well, your ensuite to be more exact, looking in the mirror and being terrified of going out with people again. You had changed clothes and then changed them again. Repeating this process and never being satisfied. You had too many doubts to be confident in your attire or your makeup.

You were going to be honest with yourself. You hadn’t tried nearly as hard to look good when you were about to meet them at first, but now that you know that they all look like damn swimsuit models, well… let’s just say that you were definitely more aware of your external appearance.

“I’m coming in, noona!” You heard the door to your room open.

“In here…” You said quietly.

He stood in the doorway of the bathroom and smiled. “Well now, don’t you look fancy? Trying to impress, I see?”

You glared at him in the mirror and then went back to stressing yourself out. “Changbin, I should probably just stay home… I don’t think I can do this…”

“Of course you can! You can do anything you set your mind t–”

“Don’t start that with me again. I look like trash! I look super weird in these clothes, I can’t seem to get my makeup right, and even if I did, I feel like I would just get made fun of!” You turned and looked at your worried face in the mirror again.

Changbin stepped up to you and turned you to look at him. You freaked out when he pulled out a wipe to remove your makeup and started removing your hard work, grabbing the back of your neck to keep your head in place.

“Changbin-ah! What the heck?!”

“Shush. You’re not satisfied because you look like a fucking clown with all of this on.” He finished and turned you back to the mirror. “You look more like yourself when you’re not hiding behind a shield of makeup. Very pretty.”

You pushed him away lightly. “Ugh. You have very unconventional standards for what is pretty, loser.” He just chuckled at you and leaned against the counter to watch you. You took a good look at yourself and saw a desperate woman trying to fix the impossible. You sighed. “Well I’m at least going to put concealer and mascara on, you can’t stop me from doing that…”

He chuckled and stood upright again waving his hand as he departed. “Fine, fine. That’s fair.” He paused and looked back at you in the mirror. “And change clothes, will ya? We’re going bowling, not clubbing.”

You threw your comb at him and he ran off giggling. You huffed and rolled your eyes. Okay, you can do this…

- - - - - - - - - -

Just like clockwork, you hid behind your baby brother as he led you through the entryway to the bowling alleys. He would periodically peer back at you to make sure you hadn’t taken a break for it and ran back home. “Chill would ya? You’ve already met these guys!”

You whisper-yelled back. “That doesn’t make it any easier!”

He huffed out a half-chuckle as he stepped up to the counter to claim the bowling shoes, the guys already had claimed an alley so you didn’t need to check in for one.

You had never bowled in your lifetime so you knew you would embarrass yourself to mortification if you attempted it. Needless to say, there was NO WAY you would be playing.

As you walked over to their section, you subconsciously smoothed out your clothes for any wrinkles. You had ended up wearing a casual spaghetti strap skater sundress due to the hot summer weather. You usually didn’t show much skin, but you really wanted to try and look pretty.

“Noona! Oh my god, I’m so happy you came!” Chan bounded over to you when you and Changbin walked up to your group’s aisle and wrapped you in a big hug. You froze and your face heated up tremendously. This man was… very familiar with people.

“Geez, Chan-hyung! You’re going to kill her! Since when do you get to hug her?!” Jisung stood up and whined.

Chan moved from a full frontal hug to standing to your side with an arm wrapped around your shoulders. “What? Oh, me and her are best friends now, right noona?” You couldn’t look at any of them in the eyes as you went paralyzed. How could this man be so bold?

You heard someone chuckle from behind you. And you went rigid. You minutely relaxed when you watched said man walk around you, juggling handfuls of drinks and snacks. “Looks like you got rejected, hyung. Maybe try for someone with zero standards.” Minho teased.

Chan released you to try to square up to Minho, but he was too intimidated by the stoic looking man. Your eyes met with the cat-like orbs of Minho’s eyes and you instantly looked down again, lightly blushing for some reason. Why can’t you make eye contact with him?

Your eyes widened as you saw him step up to you, crossing his arms. “You ready to play with some balls?” You whipped your head to look at him, eyes widened with shock. He wore an amused smirk. “I meant bowling balls. Tsk tsk tsk. What a dirty mind you have, noona.”

You were sure your face was beet red and finally your brother stepped in. “Okay okay guys, that’s enough. Anyway, she swore on her life that she wouldn’t be playing, just watching.”

“Oh come on, noona! Play with us! We’ll help you!” Jisung was shining a persuasive smile at you and you hated yourself for still not being able to say anything. He was just as mesmerizing as the others and you couldn’t help but smile at his cute, cheeky grin.

Unfortunately, Minho must have taken that smile as a yes.

“C’mon, let’s go pick your ball.” Minho then proceeded to grab your hand and lead you back to where the balls were sitting on racks that looked way too flimsy to be holding that amount of weight.

“W-w-wait! I-I–” You managed to stutter out the first (almost) words since you arrived and he cut you off…

“Do you know what size you like?” He gave you a suggestive smile with an eyebrow raised when he stopped at a rack. You swear, there was no way you were going to be able to stop the violent rushing of blood to your cheeks at all that night. You shook your head no. “I need some words. I know you can talk. Let me hear that voice again…”

You peeked up at his eyes and he was hunkered down to try and meet his line of vision with yours. You couldn’t look at him when you spoke. “No…” Why was your voice so tiny?

“No to what? To speak? Or your preferred size?” Damn his suggestive smile to hell.

“I don’t know what–”

“I can’t quite hear you, angel. I need you to speak up.” ANGEL?! How the fuck could you speak if he talks to you like that?! You squeaked and his smile was blinding.

You looked down and cleared your throat. “I–I don’t know what size I like…” It was meek, but you succeeded in getting the words out at the proper volume.

He donned a half grin and cocked an eyebrow. “Interesting…” He turned and grabbed a pink, medium sized ball. “Let’s start you out light. Girls like pink, right?” You weren’t a super fan, but you could live with it.

You held the ball and immediately dropped it with a loud *thud*. You were mortified as people looked your way and you covered your face with your hands.

You froze when you felt a gentle hand rest on your shoulder. “Hey. It’s okay. This place was meant for balls to be dropped.” You peeked through your fingers and he was waggling his eyebrows at the innuendo. You couldn’t help but giggle behind your hands.

You finally got to see a genuine smile out of him and your hands fell from your face as you smiled back, miraculously making eye contact. However, your mind returned to you after a moment and you were bashful again. Did he think I was weird for smiling back? I probably looked desperate…

He bit his lip to hide his smile, saying something under his breath that sounded like ‘cute’, but you knew for sure that couldn’t have been right. “How about we try the lightest one, yeah? Do you want me to find you another pink one?” He tilted his head and you thought it was the most adorable thing you had ever seen.

“Um. No thank you… pink isn’t really my color… but I don’t really have a preference either way…”

He raised his eyebrows. “Wow… I finally got more than a few words out of you! We are making a breakthrough, noona!” He said it like he had found a hidden treasure and you felt the corners of your mouth turn up. “How about this one?” He handed you a smaller, dark green one and it was still heavy, but light enough for you to hold.

You nodded your head. “I like this one…”

He smiled and took it from you, guiding you by hand back to your group's aisle. Your eyes wide and bashful as you watched his fingers wrapped around your own.

“Took you long enough! Let’s get started!” Changbin whined at you and you were still too focused on the warmth of Minho’s hand to give a retort back.

When you sat down to put on your designated shoes, Jisung changed his seat to be right next to you. You tensed up with the proximity. “Don’t worry, noona. We all suck ass at bowling. We will go first, though, so you can see how it’s done.” You continued to tie your shoe as you nodded at his suggestion. However, you felt the man poke your arm and startle you. “You don’t say much, do you?”

You peered back and forth between his eyes and the floor and tried to think of something to say. “I-I’m not sure what to say…”

He smiled endearingly. “Well, take your time. No pressure.” He offered a sweet smile and you couldn’t help but give a small smile back. A chill ran through your body when he briefly smoothed his hand over the upper part of your back consolingly. The heat from his hand on your bare skin lingered as he stood up.

When you watched Jisung as he left you, you met eyes with Minho who had silently been analyzing your interaction. You immediately looked back at your shoes and pretended to keep tying them repeatedly.

You watched the men play, each of them hitting at least one pin. For some reason, Minho did a really unique pose to “hopefully conjure luck” and, surprisingly, he hit more than half the pins. He waltzed up to you. “Never fails.” He winked and sat down next to you. “Your turn, blow us all away.” You felt the heat radiating off of him and you bit down on your lower lip.

You were shaking with nerves as you stood up and retrieved your ball. Giving a worried look to the men watching you from behind as you stood up to the toe line. “Confidence is key!” Changbin yelled out.

You meekly nodded and faced forward again, taking in a deep breath. Okay, prepare for embarrassment in three, two, one…

You pulled the ball back like you saw the others do and swung it forward. However, you had let it go too late and the ball was tossed up in the air high enough to make it fall with a loud *boom*! Your body curled in on yourself and your anxiety shot through the roof. Again, you were mortified by the onlookers and afraid to turn around.

Right as you saw the ball roll into the gutter and you hid your face with your hands, you heard loud cheering and clapping from behind you. You turned around and glared at the pure sarcasm of their jeering. Changbin was laughing hysterically and the others were cheering with endeared smiles as they clapped.

You walked back with your shoulders tensed up and an annoyed expression on your face as your brother made fun of you and the others were cooing at you with a “So cuuute!” from Jisung, making you flustered as hell.

Minho had a smile on his face, but laughed at Jisung. “Hannie, your first time was way worse than that!” The squirrel-like boy just narrowed his eyes at him with a scowl.

You plopped back down in your seat and sulked as you crossed your arms. Again, your whole body went stiff when Minho reached his arm back to lay it on the back of your seat. He wasn’t technically touching you so it wasn’t too amicable, but that didn’t make it any less nerve wracking.

He just continued talking casually to the group. “I’m telling y’all, you gotta be creative with your poses. It’s foolproof!” You chuckled and felt his eyes on you, but you refused to look back at him. Instead, you watched your baby brother make a pose that would put you in the hospital from humiliation if you had done it. He managed to knock over a few pins and raised his fists.

“Hell yeah, hyung!” Changbin walked up and high-fived Minho, but he used his other hand, keeping his occupied one firmly on the back of your chair.

You watched one by one as the rest of the guys tried ridiculous poses for their turns and you giggled at every attempt and gawked at their minor successes. “Your turn, noona! Make us proud!” Chan’s excited voice rang out.

Your face paled when the arm that was behind you moved forward to wrap around your shoulder with an excited squeeze. Your mind went blank as the skin-on-skin contact scorched you to the bone. “Let’s see what pose you’ve got ready for us.” Your face swung around to Minho in terror at his response and you quickly realized how close he was to your face. Your face flushed violently and you looked down, shaking your head frantically.

“No no no no no, there’s no way I can do that…” You stood up and away from his touch that was making you dizzy and hugged yourself defensively.

“Oh come oooon, you pussy! We all did it!” You glared at Changbin.

“Hey, no pressure, noona. You can do whatever you want.” So far, you hadn’t seen Minho act so soft and it did something to your heart. They really wanted to show you how they didn’t want to pressure you again. They did care about your comfort.

You felt endeared as you stepped up to the line and took a look back at their smiling faces, Minho casually standing at the edge of the wooden platform with his hands in his pockets to watch. You looked forward again in exasperation. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.

You proceeded to hunker your legs down and roll that bitch of a ball in between your legs ‘grandma style’ putting enough force behind your swing to make sure that the ball had at least some velocity. You refused to look behind you as you watched the ball slowly roll down the alley. Wait. It…it’s staying centered… No fucking way…

You managed to make the ball, albeit slowly, hit one of the side pins and knocked down more than a couple of them. Your face lit up and you jumped over to the guys. “Did you see that?!” They were all clapping with proud faces. “It worked, Minho!” You jumped up and hugged him around his neck, too giddy to realize what you were doing.

You only came back to earth when he unfroze himself and wrapped his arms around your waist to return the embrace tentatively. You flew off of him as if he were made of fire, your face surely feeling like it. Has it been this hot in here the whole time? “Oh god! I-I-I’m-I’m sorry!”

You would probably never be able to look in his eyes ever again. His face went from pure shock to a crooked smile and he huffed out a chuckle. “Cute��” Holy shit… okay, maybe you will retract that last thought… Your smile was unbidden and you watched with amusement as they all were being utterly ridiculous the rest of the night.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Why, Bin. Just why are you so adamant about having me hang out with you and your friends?” You crossed your arms at the dinner table and sat back, too full to even look at the food without groaning.

“Because they like you! For some reason they think you’re cool to hang out with.” He teased and you threw a piece of your kimchi at him.

“I don’t know about that, they are just being nice. I don’t think they actually want me to butt into y’alls ‘guy time’ or whatever. I’m hardly a talker, I’m too shy to do anything fun, and it’s even hard for me to talk sometimes!”

He rolled his eyes. “Well you weren’t like that before–” He cut himself off and looked frustrated.

A spark lit in you. You couldn’t control the annoyance that bled through. Why did he always have to bring that up? “Before what? Go ahead and say it, Bin. It’s not like I don’t already know!”

He glared back at you and let loose. “You weren’t like this before Dad died! You didn’t give two shits when Mom left without a trace! But you can’t be holed up in this fucking crypt for the rest of your life, noona! He’s gone, stop acting like this house he left behind for you is keeping him alive! Of course you are uncomfortable with people! It’s because you’ve got your head stuck in the past!”

Your eyes grew wide, as did Changbin’s, as if he didn’t believe what came out of his own mouth. Both of you were frozen and a powerful emotion rose up in your throat. Your brain was too overwhelmed to process exactly what it was. You felt that same emotion shoot straight up into your eyes and you finally found out what the feeling was. Your lower lip quivered. Your eyebrows scrunched together. Then, you finally felt the first droplet fall from your tear duct onto your unfinished sweet potatoes.

You stood up. “N-noona wait–” You didn’t even put your plate away, you just calmly walked to the stairs. “Noona, please! I’m sorry…” You heard him get up from his seat to follow you and you turned around and put a hand in front of you to ward him away.

“Don’t…” Your voice wavered as you felt the tears fall unbidden. “You can talk all you want, Changbin. But YOU weren’t the one who had to finish raising your younger sibling through the last couple years of high school! YOU weren’t the one who found his fucking dead body! It was ME, Changbin. ME.” You couldn’t even see him properly anymore through your blurred vision. “It was ME who had to take care of everything they left behind. It was ME who…” You had to supress a sob as you uttered the words. “...who should have been here for him when he…”

You couldn’t even finish the thought. Flashbacks sending you to when you had stepped out to grab groceries for your dad while Changbin was at football practice, only to find your father on the floor of the kitchen, dead from a heart attack when you returned.

“Just…” You choked back a sob and he looked absolutely distraught. “I know I was asking for it, but… just don’t talk to me, Bin…” And with that, you quickly marched up the stairs and locked your bedroom door.

You went on autopilot, having done this countless times before. You grabbed a pillow and blanket from your bed. You trudged into your ensuite. Finally, you shut yourself in your closet where you always went to cry because you knew Changbin couldn’t hear your sobbing from there. Then you let loose.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Hey, noona… I brought you some coffee…” Felix sat the hot beverage down next to the small lamp on the side table of your guy’s hideout as you did the bookkeeping for the store. That’s where you always liked to do it because it was nice and quiet and you could concentrate.

You pushed your reading glasses up on your nose and looked up at him from your comfy armchair. “Thanks, Lixie. I appreciate it…” You put down your pen and took a sip, warmth instantly spreading through your bones.

“Are you feeling any better? I know you’ve been kinda down today…”

You puffed out a long sigh. “I’ll be fine… Time heals all things.” You gave him a forced smile and he gave one back, kissing your forehead and leaving to get back to work.

The finances were hard to figure out at first, but now it was a piece of cake. You had no problem just diving in and getting shit done. You almost enjoyed it. You even had a system. You sat cross-legged on your commandeered chair, throw pillow on top of your legs to support your laptop, and a notebook, pen, and calculator on the arm of the chair. Once you were in the zone, nothing could–

“Who uses a physical calculator anymore?” You shrieked at the unexpected voice who had creeped up on you and jolted so hard that all of the items on the arm of the chair (thankfully not the laptop) went crashing to the ground.

You looked up and saw Lee Minho casually leaned up against one of the bookshelves as he raised a judgemental eyebrow at you amusedly.

You put the laptop on Felix’s chair to quickly crouch down to retrieve the items, but you were met with Minho's face - the most handsome face you had ever seen - just mere centimeters from your own as he bent down to pick up the items as well. He seemed just as surprised as you were, but neither of you moved. Just for a tiny moment, you stared straight into his eyes. And with your proximity, you could see every fleck of beautiful chocolate brown in his otherwise dark eyes. They were dazzling.

You subconsciously licked your lips and the spell was broken as soon as his eyes drifted down to seek out your action. You woke up from your haze and squeaked again, standing ramrod straight and rigid as you took a long step back. “W-w-w-w–” Here we go again with the stuttering… “W-why are you here?!” You shyly looked around you as if he had walked in on you naked.

He just smirked and picked up the fallen items and placed them on the small side table. “Chan-hyung said I might be able to find you here.” He took a step towards you and you took another step back, earning a beautiful smirk from him.

“W-why did you need to find me?” Your eyes were darting everywhere away from his gorgeous face.

“I needed to see you.” He had a teasing tone in his voice and he stepped towards you once more. Much to your dismay, your next step back had pressed you up against the bookshelf that lined the wall of your little nook. He chuckled as he took the last step forward and you pressed yourself as much as you could into the bookcase.

“N-needed to?” You still couldn’t look at him as he let out a little ‘mhm’. “Why would you–” You habitually cleared your throat. “–need to see me?”

He smirked and you saw him slowly raise his hand toward your face. Your eyes bugged out and then you closed your eyes to scrunch them inside your brain in fear (and anticipation) of what he was going to do. You heard a chuckle and then something moving beside your head. You opened your eyes to see that he had grabbed a book off the shelf right next to your head and stepped back to examine it, sitting down in your special chair in the process. You were gobsmacked.

“Have you read this one?” You had. All of the books in your little nook had been read by you and kept safe back here. Two ceiling sized bookcases packed full of your favorite books. You knew by heart the exact one he was holding. You gave him a small nod and he turned it in his hand. “Hmmm… Lady Chatterley’s Lover. I’ve never heard of this one.” He looked back up at you with a stunning half grin. “So cute, you’re a romantic.” He said in a condescending tone like you were a baby. If only he knew the contents of that book.

You stayed silent. You certainly couldn’t tell him that the book was one of the earliest smut novels ever released, even if you did want to correct his assumption of it being a normal frivolous romance in its contents. That would just be sad considering that you have barely any romantic experience…

“Want to summarize it for me?” He stood up and stepped towards you again.

Your heart fell out of your ass and there was no way he missed the pink hue spreading across your cheeks. “U-u-um y-you were going to tell me why you needed to see me…” You squeaked out. You looked down shyly. At least you got to change the subject.

He huffed out amusedly. “You’ve been avoiding us. More importantly–” He reached beside your head to put the book back. “–your brother.”

He was too close for comfort and your face was heating up at an alarming rate.

“Do you not like us, noona?” You saw him keep his hand on the bookshelf. He was keeping his arm locked beside you. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. Your eyes kept drifting back to his face and he looked like he was studying you. “Because that would be a shame… I thought we were making a breakthrough…”

He finally moved his arm and you took a much needed breath, not knowing that you had mostly been holding it that whole time.

However, the relief was short lived and the anxiety was multiplied tenfold when he placed his hand on your shoulder and gently squeezed it. He was so close… “Did we do something wrong?” He looked genuinely worried and you finally met his eyes with shock.

“N-No!” You brought your hands up to emphasize your denial, but you quickly realized that the movement placed your hands directly on his chest. He looked down at your quickly retreating arms. “I-I’m so sorry!”

He looked back at your face and tilted his head. “You don’t have to be so shy around me, you know?” He let his hand slide down to gently squeeze your bicep. “Although, I do admit, it’s incredibly adorable.” He flashed a crooked smile and your entire body turned a deep shade of crimson.

“W-w-w-wha–?!”

“So if you don’t hate us, can you hang out with us again? Please? We really do like you, no joke.”

This conversation was more genuine than you had expected of Minho. You hadn’t known him long, but he usually seemed more blasé or teasing. You sighed in defeat and looked down. “Just… just let me know when you are all hanging out next…” You couldn’t look at him as you said it, but you could see from the corner of your eye that he was smiling.

“Will do.” Out of nowhere, he handed you his phone and you looked up at him with a confused expression. “Your number. Y’know, to keep you in the loop.”

“Oh…” You took the device and saved your contact.

“Cool, I’ll text you.” He squeezed your arm once more before stepping back, seeming to leave, but he reconsidered and turned back to you. He raised his hand and lightly flicked the side of your glasses. “By the way…” He tucked your hair back behind your ear like you had always read in your books and it made you blush for the umteenth time. “These glasses look really good on you.” You raised your head in awe of the compliment and he winked at you as he left you alone in your little nook again.

That man is beyond dangerous…

- - - - - - - - - -

And text you he did. A lot.

You learned that he was endearingly weird. He texted almost daily and it surprised you how much he could make you laugh. He would mainly talk about food and his cats, sending dozens and dozens of pictures of the cute furballs. His main focus was teasing you, though.

You were sure his cheesy flirting was just for fun… right?

That’s how he usually began a conversation, either a gif, a really hilarious picture of him, or his cute cats. This particular morning, it was an image of him. However, for the first time, it wasn’t a goofy one.

Minho:

Hi hi hi~

*Image attached*

Morning hike

He had taken a selca of himself with a beautiful hiking trail behind him. Even though he didn’t have much of an expression, his face was beautiful in the morning light. You laid in your bed and curled in on yourself. How the hell do you respond to that?! You couldn’t exactly say that his face looked chiseled from marble, or how his hair looked like silk that you were dying to run your hands through, or how his lips–

You had realized you had zoned out looking at the picture and you shook yourself out of it.

Angel Noona:

That sounds nice

That was a normal answer, right?

Minho:

U should come w/ me sometime

UM WHAT??? You internally screamed and you were stunned with the line of text that stretched across your scratched phone screen.

Minho:

The trail is beautiful at sunrise

You squeezed your phone to your chest and tried not to act like a teenager with an obvious crush. You were even cringing at yourself.

Angel Noona:

That sounds nice

Minho:

Lol u sound like a broken record

You kicked yourself. You probably seemed like an idiot who didn’t know how to communicate like a normal human being… I mean, he wouldn’t be entirely wrong... You decided to roll with it.

Angel Noona:

…

That sounds nice

Minho:

LOL 😂

What’re u doing right now?

Angel Noona:

Laying in bed

Minho:

Ahhh 😏

That sounds… inviting

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!?! You saw the bubbles indicating his response appear and disappear several times. You shouldn’t have to worry about your damned heart rate by just texting a man.

Minho:

Well no need to laze around!

Up up up! 👏

U need to eat to stay healthy!

Angel Noona:

What I need is a better diet

Minho:

No u don’t

All u need is to be active!

Ur body is perfect as it is

You blushed furiously at his bold remark and you didn’t know how to respond. Before you could, though, he sent another message.

Minho:

U coming to the bonfire tonight?

Angel Noona:

Um…

I wasn’t invited…

Minho:

LOL ur pretty dumb sometimes

Angel Noona:

?!?!?!

Minho:

I just invited u, dumbass

A cute dumbass 😉

But still a dumbass

Your mind was racing and you were almost in a panic. Oh why. Just WHY did he have to play with your feelings so much?

Minho:

Changbin is working tonight so I’ll pick u up at 8

See u then!

Byyye~!

He had completely blindsided you and the only thing you could reply with was–

Angel Noona:

Um ok…

This night was not going to be good for your heart…

- - - - - - - - - -

You tentatively stepped into your worn-out sneakers at the door when you heard the doorbell and you gently opened the door to a handsome smirk. You shyly looked down, away from his eyes, and quickly realized that it was ten times easier to talk to him over text than in person.

He moved his head to try and put himself in your line of vision to catch your eye and you felt embarrassment wash over you that he even had recognized your bashfulness.

“Well hello to you too?”

You went bug eyed. “O-oh! S-sorry, um… hi Minho…” You blushed and looked away again. Why did you always have to sound so pitiful?

You heard him huff out a small chuckle and you froze when you saw his hand lift to your face and pinch your cheek. “It’s only been a week and I already forgot how adorable you are when you talk.”

You must’ve looked shocked as you stared into his eyes and he released your cheek. Your hand instinctively caressed the spot that he had touched you so gently, as if you would get a second hand feeling from him directly. When you came back to reality, you realized he was laughing at you. You huffed out an annoyed breath and scrunched your face up to poke your tongue out at him petulantly.

Once he was done cackling at your childish reaction, you decided to change the subject to something that had been pressing on your mind. “Um… will… will there be other people there?” You looked down at your outfit, just some jean shorts and tank top (secretly wanting to show more skin… for no particular reason of course…). “I-I might need to change if I will be meeting someone new…”

He smiled and gave you a painfully slow once-over, making you blush furiously (no shocker there). “Just you, me, Hannie, and Chan-hyung. Besides–” He stepped to the side to let you out. “–you look great.”

Needless to say, you were exceptionally bashful the entire car ride to the bonfire. You were quiet, however, you were surprisingly becoming more comfortable with his company… and his constant teasing as he made it his mission to fluster you the whole way there with relentless mock-flirting.

When Minho led you around the side of the house of your destination, you saw the other two boys goofing off. You quickly realized that when they said ‘bonfire’, it evidently only meant a large fire pit in the pasture behind Jisung’s parent’s house. Apparently they were gone for the weekend and Jisung was going to reap the benefits.

“Noona! You came!” Jisung had obviously already had a drink or two as he ran over to wrap his arms around you. You just went stiff, but you ended up shakily placing your arms loosely around him to return the hug with a shy smile. After Jisung, Chan wrapped his arm over your shoulder and started walking you further out into the backyard.

“We’ve missed you! Don’t disappear on us again, okay?” He talked sugary sweet before Minho pulled you away from him with a glare at his elder. You definitely didn’t want to unpack that reaction.

Minho offered you a seat on an old, worn out cushioned bench with a thick blanket draped over it so you would have a clean place to sit. It was surprisingly comfortable, and you folded your legs up underneath you to snuggle into the plush backing. Chan spoke once again. “I didn’t know if you wanted any alcohol, so I brought soda, juice, and some fruity concoction I thought you might like.” You smiled. That was so considerate of him and you felt your heart swell.

“That’s… really nice of you, Chan… thank you…” Why did you always have to sound so meek? “I actually think I’ll take… um… can I have one of those ales or ciders or whatever it is you have there?” You nodded to the alcoholic drink in his hand. You were feeling risky that night, besides, all things in moderation, right?

He looked astonished. “Absolutely! Coming right up!” However, before Chan could reach in the cooler to grab it, Minho beat him to the punch, grabbing the said beverage and a beer with one hand, and carrying a blanket in the other. He looked nonchalant as he walked over and sat right next to you on the small bench.

He was silent as he handed the drink to you and fanned out the blanket. Your whole body tensed when he laid the single fabric over both of your laps and cracked open his drink. You were still looking at him in shock as he amusedly looked down at your drink and then back to your face.

By the time you realized you were gawking, your face steamed with embarrassment. “O-oh… thank you…” You started sounding small again and you bowed your head in thanks.

He chuckled and patted your bare knee under the blanket, sending a lightning bolt directly to your brain from the contact of his skin on yours, creating a burst of dopamine. “No problem.” Why was his voice so velvety? You looked at the drink tentatively. Apparently it looked like an apple cider and you realized you didn’t have a bottle opener and you hoped it was a twist top. You tried desperately to twist it open until Minho snatched the glass container out of your hand and popped the cap like it was nothing. “There you go, angel.”

You sucked in a breath from the name that he apparently donned you with and you bit your lip to hide your smile. And of course he noticed.

He narrowed his eyes and gave you a crooked grin. “Keep the drinking to a minimum, angel~” He emphasized the last word with a smirk. You ducked your head as you took the beverage and lightly shoved him with your shoulder in retaliation.

He cackled and you hesitantly held the lip of the bottle to your lips. You took a small sip and smacked your lips to analyze the taste. It was delicious. You eagerly raised the bottle to your lips again and took a big swig. “Woah woah little lady! Take it slow ya drunkard.” Jisung drunkenly tried to wedge himself between you and Minho on the tiny bench and only ended up sitting halfway on Minho and the other half on you. “We’ve got aaall night.” He was leaning all the way into your space and you felt slightly claustrophobic.

He flashed you a wink and you shyly giggled while looking away from his antics. “Fuck off, Sung!” Minho pushed him off and he stood with a pout. “Your gonna fucking crush us!” Minho scooted closer to you, pressing up against you to keep the quokka looking man from trying again. Your eyes widened and your eyes were glued to his manspreading underneath the blanket he shared with you.

You took another huge swig of your drink.

- - - - - - - - - -

You were at the bottom of your second bottle, but since it had a low alcohol content, you were only a little tipsy… (okay, maybe more than a little) “Okay, noona. I’m cutting you off now.” Chan pointed a finger at you and you pouted.

“But it’s so good Channie!” The man shyly chuckled but shook his head.

“Sorry, girly. I won’t be swayed.” You guzzled the rest of your drink and leaned your head on Minho’s shoulder while pouting your lip at him. “Minnie, can I please have one more?” You weren’t in the mindset to have any shame.

His eyes widened at your proximity and he bit his lip briefly. “I think he’s right, noona. Let’s just listen to Sung try to play the guitar while he’s sloshed…” He reluctantly looked away and your eyes stayed glued to his perfect face as the music started.

- - - - - - - - - -

You all sat around listening to music, hearing hilarious stories of the three of them and Changbin, and eating delicious smores that melted in your mouth just right. It had been about an hour and you had definitely sobered up since they cut you off.

However, you were starting to get incredibly sleepy. You started nodding off and of course Minho noticed. You went completely stiff when you felt his hand loop around your head to slowly tilt your head onto his shoulder.

WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD YOU DO?! Take your head off and offend him? Or keep your head there and deal with the embarrassment later? Your head was in a mess and, needless to say, you were no longer anywhere near sleepy now.

He returned his hand to its original place in between the two of you. Much to your dismay, that happened to be right next to your own hand. You didn’t know if he could sense that you were as stiff as a rock, but, just for a moment, you let yourself bask in it all.

You listened to the cicadas sing. The crackling of the fire. Jisung and Chan casually chatting amongst themselves. You could tell that your body was involuntarily relaxing against him, sinking into his warm support and you let yourself pretend that you were in some normal girl’s shoes. One who isn’t afraid to speak to someone or touch a man or lean into him or try to kiss–

“Hey, we’re ready to wrap it up for tonight, you staying here?” Jisung’s sobered up voice rang out.

“Yeah you guys can go. I’ll wait for her to wake up, then I’ll douse the fire.” Minho quietly responded.

“Cool. G’night, man.”

You heard the other two men walk away and their car doors slam right before they drove off. You were paralyzed. You didn’t know if you should pretend to wake up or if that would give away the fact that you were awake the whole time. You should probably–

…

His hand was moving, fidgeting, doing something right next to yours. You were abruptly hyper-focused on his movements and you didn’t want to do anything to make him redirect any of his actions. Did he notice that you were holding your breath?

You mentally cursed when your finger eagerly twitched. Please tell me he didn’t notice.

Your breath was still held when you felt him move more purposefully and you were pretty sure that you died when he slid his hand into your own. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! What was he doing?! Was he trying to kill you?! Or was he just playing you? You let out the breath you were holding, knowing that it was a bad idea, but you returned the action by letting your fingers interlace with his.

“I know you’ve been awake the whole time, you know?” Your eyes shot open. “You can give up the act now.” You knew it would kill you to look at him, but you slowly rose up from his shoulder, blinking your eyes over to his for a half of a millisecond and then to the ground with a lowered head. He squeezed your hand under the blanket when you tried to let go and you bit your lip.

“I–I’m sorry…” You whispered.

“Hey, noona…” His words were low and gravely.

You were definitely not prepared when he grabbed your chin with his other hand and slowly turned your head to make eye contact with you. His face was focused and analytical as his eyes searched back and forth between your own.

“Why were you pretending?” Even though he had a hold of your chin, you still looked down and your face’s temperature raised at an alarming rate. Your eyes darted to his lips when you saw the movement of him wetting them with his tongue. You didn’t know why, but you moistened your own as well. He muttered in a voice so low you almost missed it. “Changbin is going to kill me…”

You thought you had died before when he held your hand, but now he made your whole body set aflame. His eyes lowered to your mouth and cautiously pulled you in to press his lips against your own. Your eyes were blown wide and you stared in astonishment at his closed ones. The firelight flicked across his face and you were sure he was the most beautiful creature who had ever walked God’s green Earth.

You’d never been kissed.

You had no clue what to do and he hesitated when he felt that you weren’t reciprocating the action. Your heart dropped when he released your face and retreated his lips from yours. “Shit, fuck. I’m sorry, noona… I–” You cut him off when he tried to loosen his hand and you frantically grabbed it with both of your own.

He looked at you quizzically and you saw his ears tinged with a reddish color. “I…” You could barely choke the words out. “C-can… Can you do that again… please?” You probably sounded pathetic, but you couldn’t give two fucks once his face morphed into one of pure adoration.

With one of his hands held in a vice grip by yours, he pulled his other hand up to caress your cheek. His eyes scanned all over your face as he looked at you with an expression that you couldn’t quite decipher. You licked your lips as his hand slid back to cup the side of your neck and he slowly pulled you close to press his lips against yours.

You closed your eyes this time when he did and you fell into the feeling of the kiss. His lips were warm and moist and your heart was beating at a hundred miles a minute. He continually released and kissed you again, moving his lips against your own stiff ones.

“Is this okay?” He whispered against your lips and you pulled back and bit your lip when your eyes met. God, your face was on fire.

Here we go, get ready to sound pathetic. “I um…” You cleared your throat. “I haven’t ever kissed anyone before…” You lowered your head in shame when his eyes bulged out of his head. “I… I don’t really know what to do…”

You knew you looked ashamed and you tensed up when you felt his hand let go of yours. However, a chill ran down your spine when he took your face in both of his hands to make you look him in the eyes.

“Don’t be shy, angel. You are so goddamned adorable I don’t know what to do with myself…” You bit back your bashful smile. His thumb ran over your cheek. “Do you want me to show you how?”

You narrowly nodded your head in his hands and he smirked, pulling you back in and pressing his lips to yours once more.

He was slow and patient. He released and connected slowly as you attempted to do the same, trying to keep your lips moist, but not slobbery. Slowly, his pressure increased and his hands floated down to the sides of your neck. You were almost hyperventilating from the tingly feeling in your stomach.

He pulled back minutely and you chased his lips, making him chuckle as he held you in place. He, once again, whispered against your lips. “Can I try something?”

Your mind was in too much of a haze and all you wanted was to be connected to him again. You whispered a tiny “Anything” and he harshly pressed his lips to yours once more, making you sigh in relief.

His lips were more opened when he kissed back and he tilted his head to get closer to you. You gasped when his tongue peeked out and caressed your lower lip. He did this again and again until he subtly tried to pry your mouth open with it. You hesitantly let him in and you felt sparks go off in your head when his wet muscle collided with your own.

The self-consciousness you felt when you let out a small moan was catastrophic. However, when you felt him smile against your lips, you couldn’t give two shits.

More, you wanted all of him, you wanted to touch him and be touched by him. You were even surprised by yourself when you looped your arms around his neck and folded a leg under you to sit crooked on the bench to lean into him more.

It was his turn to make a noise, a low grumble in his chest as his hands floated down to land on your waist. You became more and more bold as you sucked on his tongue and then let him do the same to you in return.

His grip on your waist tightened when you tried to rise up to get closer to him. “H-hey… slow down, angel…” You didn’t want to. You reattached your lips to his and he groaned in defeat. He let you lean on him and you laced your fingers in his fiery hair.

You decided you loved kissing. No, that’s not right… You loved kissing Minho.

You moaned again when he licked into your mouth and then bit your lip. You felt an unfamiliar feeling swim around in your core. Once again, he grabbed your face, but he had to try and pry your mouth off of his. You clung onto his shirt as the both of you panted and stared into each other’s eyes.

“Angel… we need to stop…” He sounded pained to say the words.

You kept your eyes on his spit-slicked lips and shook your head. “Don’t wanna…” Your voice was whinier than intended. You were afraid that if you stopped kissing him now, you would never have another chance again.

You lunged forward, trying to overpower his hold. For a moment, it worked. His resolve weakened momentarily when you sucked his lower lip into your mouth and then dove your tongue into his mouth. You could feel his lips try to hold back, but he couldn’t help but to return your kiss.

Once again, you were pulled back and you glared at him with a huff. He chuckled with a very quiet “cute”. He kept his grip firm as he kissed your forehead and then lowered his hands to your shoulders to keep you from lunging at him. “We can continue later, yeah? Your brother will be home soon and I don’t want him waiting up for you, angel.”

All you needed to hear was the fact that he wanted to continue as well. Your eyes finally drifted up from his lips to his eyes and you found them wide and smiling. Now that you weren’t in the haze that his lips brought to your mind, you blushed painfully.

He released your head when your hands flew up to hide your face. You whimpered as you nodded your head bashfully.

“Hey–” He pried your hands from your face and you refused to look him in the eye. “What happened to the girl that just tried to lick my tonsils?” He leaned over to try and catch your eye and you scowled at his teasing face.

You pushed him away and crossed your arms. “Shut up…” You mumbled.

Your embarrassment crumbled, however, when he gently turned your head and gave you a quick peck before standing up, holding a hand out to help you up as well. “Don’t be mad, angel. It turned me on so much I can’t see straight. It took everything in my power to make myself stop.” Your eyes bugged out as you took his hand and stood up. He winked at you and you knew you were ruined for this man.

- - - - - - - - - -

Minho:

What u doin right now?

Angel Noona:

Working 🙃

Minho:

Interesting…

Angel Noona:

???

You didn’t get it. It was a full fifteen minutes after you responded and he still had not texted you back. He had been texting you constantly after the night of the “bonfire” and you still had not had the chance to see him all of the following week with both of your conflicting schedules.

You kept checking your phone every two minutes and still no response. Your head was spiraling. Did I say something wrong? Is he not interested in talking when I’m at work? Did he just ask to see if I was available? I wonder if he wants me as much as I want him. Did he already get tired of m–

Your spiraling was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Once again, you screeched and the book you were holding absently in your lounge chair in your hideout went crashing to the ground.

“You’re a little scaredy cat, aren’t you?” The red head remarked as he picked up the novel from the ground and set it on the side table. Your heart was hammering in your chest as you took in the sight of Minho’s evil smirk. Holy hell how is he always so beautiful?

He wasn’t wearing anything significantly notable, just a black t-shirt and some jeans. But, damn, was it the most delicious looking sight you had ever seen… (especially with how those pants hugged his thighs so delectably)

“You still there, angel?” Minho had stepped close to you and tapped your reading glasses. It was then that you realized you were mindlessly gawking at him and you cleared your throat and looked away.

“I– I…” You sucked in your lips, not trusting your voice. Your face was constantly red around this man. You still weren’t able to look at him, but your face formed a tiny, giddy smile.

A shadow passed over you and you looked up to see Minho hovering over you, his hands on each of the arms of your chair as he stared into your soul. “I don’t even get a hello? Should I leave?” He cocked his head with a cute lilt in his voice.

“N-No!” You bit your lip when you realized you had basically shouted that in his face. At the same time, cowering away because you had slightly jolted up and closer to his face. “H-Hi Minho…”

He sucked in his lips to hide his amused smile. “Hey there, noona.” He said it deeply and as low as a whisper and and you licked your lips, mind glitching from his proximity. “I’ve missed your cute little bashfulness. I thought I’d come see it firsthand and not over text.” He gave you a once over and also licked his lips, leaning in closer.

“Noona! You’ll never guess wha–” Felix’s voice rang as he quickly walked down the aisle, but cut himself off when he rounded the corner and saw Minho hovered over you. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Felix squared up to Minho as the man calmly stood up to face the smaller boy.

You shot up out of your chair when you saw Felix try and get in Minho’s face and you stood between them. “Felix! Stop! It’s okay!” Felix looked at you skeptically and then back at Minho. You hadn’t spilled the beans yet about you and Minho’s rendezvous and you didn’t blame him for being startled.

You looked back at Minho who wore a stoic face as he stared daggers at Felix. How the fuck should you introduce him? You hadn’t established any kind of relationship and you definitely hadn’t slept with each other. What was Minho to you?

“Felix, this is… this is one of Changbin’s friends I told you about…” You used the fact that Minho was at your back to your advantage as you made a pleading face to make him understand and leave.

Your blessed best friend read your intent and released a smile that took up his entire face. “Ooooh yes, I see.” He bit his lip with giddiness and you rolled your eyes. “Okay! Don’t mind me! I’ll just talk to you later, noona.” He winked at you and then skipped off down the aisle.

You sighed in relief until you felt the tense presence behind you and you were suddenly afraid to turn around. You stood there momentarily and then you felt arms wrap around your midriff, making you gasp. You felt his hot breath across the left side of your neck and your heart hammered. “Who was that?” It almost sounded like a growl as he whispered the words.

You were breathing heavily with anticipation. “M-my best friend, Felix… He works here too.” You couldn’t control the airy tone to your voice.

“Hmmm…” You felt his breath raise to your ear. “Just a friend?”

You couldn’t help but feel a hint of satisfaction with the semi-jealous remark. “Of course…” You tentatively turned around in his arms and placed your palms on his chest, eyes glued to them because there was no way you could look at his face when you said the words. “I… I only want you…”

He was silent for a moment and you helplessly looked up at him. He was staring down at you with a smile and you panicked when he lowered his face down to yours. “Is that so?” His grin was cheeky as his breath fanned across your lips. “Prove it…” He whispered and your resolve crumbled.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and tentatively pressed your lips into his, your shyness slowly melting away once your wet tongues started colliding.

Then you were hungry for more.

You started to put so much force into it, that he ended up being pushed back into your chair. He laughed as you put your hand over your mouth in astonishment of your actions. However, this was short lived as you saw a dangerous glint in his eye and you didn’t hesitate to connect your mouths once more.

At first, you just leaned over his seated form, but when your kisses became more eager, you placed your knees on either side of his legs, squeezed tight by the small armchair. He looked up at you in awe of your boldness and his eyes went dark when you curled your fingers into his ginger hair. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous…” He muttered against your lips. His hands stayed politely on your waist, but something inside you wanted more, not like you could ever initiate it though.

You couldn’t help but writhe around on his lap as you tried to get as close as possible to him in the small chair. You knew you would be mortified when your senses came back to you, but all you could focus on now was his wet tongue prodding inside your mouth as your panties started getting wet.

That was definitely a new development.

Of course you knew everything about the birds and the bees. I mean, you had read smut for heaven’s sake, you weren’t clueless. But you had never experienced anything first hand. And, man, the feeling made you ache in a way you had never experienced before.

You whined pathetically when his hands grabbed your hips to keep them in place as he lightly massaged you. “God, you’re trying to kill me, angel…” He growled against your lips. Once again, he had to hold you back from your continuous assault on his lips. You kept chasing him and he chuckled. “Baby girl, you’re at work. I promise we can continue this later.” Baby girl… holy fuck.

You huffed and dropped your forehead on his shoulder, hands grasped tightly onto his shirt. You closed your eyes and took a long, deep breath to cool yourself down. You were pissed at how right he was. You sat up and looked at him with doe eyes. “Promise?” You unintentionally went back to feeling small and weak next to him.

He chuckled at your change in demeanor and gave you a smirk. His face leaned into you and he trailed kisses up the side of your neck, making you gasp and quiver. He gave you a squeeze on the hips as he left a wet, open-mouthed kiss right under your ear. “I swear, angel.”

He laid one last chaste kiss on your cheek and helped you stand up.

He ended up sticking around and doing what he originally intended to do when he came. Listening to you read aloud, talk about each other’s likes and dislikes, and basically anything and everything you usually discussed over text, but actually getting to see and hear him directly.

He stayed most of the day and even helped you with a few tasks. You felt like you were in a dream you never wanted to wake up from.

- - - - - - - - - -

Unfortunately, Minho worked the next day, so you spent the whole day being as lazy as possible. That night, you had just stepped out of the shower and threw on an oversized t-shirt and some sleep shorts when you heard a noise from down stairs, specifically the noise of your front door code chiming with each digit. You froze, your heart beating out of your chest as you carefully listened to make sure your ears didn’t deceive you.

Sure enough, you heard the opening and closing of the front door.

Panic rushed through your body. Changbin wasn’t supposed to be home for another couple hours or so and he never gets off work early.

You rushed to your bed, freshly washed hair still dripping down your face and soaking your shirt. You got on the floor and pulled out your emergency baseball bat from under the frame. Sure, it wasn’t the best weapon, but it would at least do enough to help you escape if need be.

You were as quiet as possible as you made your way down the stairs and you heard footsteps getting closer right around the corner. Okay, this is no time to be a pussy, Y/N. You can do this.

You were shaking with every step you heard and your palms were sweating from where they held the bat. When you saw a shadow walk up to the corner, you swung your bat around and your weak arms landed a blow with a loud *thud*.

“MOTHER FUCKER!! WHAT THE HELL?!” Your heart dropped out of your ass when you heard the voice of the intruder. At the speed of light, you whipped around the corner and was mortified to see Minho laying on the ground, slightly bloodied hand as he held it over his cheekbone in pain.

You dropped to your knees and crawled over to him, bowing your head to the floor at his feet with a profuse repetition of “ohmygodimsosorry” and “pleaseforgiveme” and “donthatemeimsuchanidiot”.

Eventually he groaned as he sat up and saw your pleading. You looked back up at him with tears in your eyes. Oh my god, what have I done?! Fuck. Shit. He hates me now. A single tear fell from your eye and he smiled at you softly, wiping the tear away and pulling you in for a tight hug. He kissed your hair and whispered a tiny “It’s okay, angel.”

- - - - - - - - - -

He winced as you delicately held the frozen pack of peas to his bandaged up cheek and you bit your lip in concern. He obviously noticed and held onto your unoccupied hand. “I know you’re uneasy around me sometimes, angel. But goddamn, you don’t have to try and kill me to get me to leave you alone!” He chuckled at his own sarcastic remark and the makeshift ice pack dropped to the floor when you buried your face in your hands.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you never talked to me again…” He gently grabbed your wrists and pulled your hands away from your teary-eyed face.

“Hey, look at me angel.” You looked up at him with a quivering lip from where you were seated next to him on the couch. “I was just joking, babe.” He said babe… “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. It’s my own damn fault for not warning you that I was coming to pick up my earbuds from Changbin’s room on my work break. I’m sorry, angel.”

He kissed your forehead and you scoffed as you wiped away a stray tear. “Why are you apologizing? You’re not the one that beat your crush to a pulp.” You looked down at your hands that he had grasped in his own, knees touching from your proximity.

“Crush, huh?” He had a mischievous tone in his voice and you looked up at the glint in his eye. “And here I thought we had gotten past that point…” He smirked at you and you obviously blushed.

“W-well, I don’t know what to call it!” You pulled your hands from his and crossed your arms as you looked at the floor.

You were less than prepared when he pushed you back by the shoulders down onto the couch cushions, your shocked eyes looking back into his smoldering ones as he hovered above you. “You can call it whatever you want to. If we’re just friends, then so be it. But if you want me to yourself…” He said as he slowly caressed your arm and did a once-over of your body. “...then just say the word and I’m yours.”

You felt every fiber of your being crackle like pop rocks with astonishment and your mind went blank. For once, you could think clearly without any ruminating or anxiety holding you back as you thought of your answer. “I… I really like you, Minho… I… I really want you to want me too…” You couldn’t look him in the eyes and your whole face was cherry red but your lids were hooded and your breathing was heavy with tension.

When you looked up at the man hovering over you to see his reaction, the smile that spread across his face was one of the most beautiful expressions you had ever seen. “Then I’m yours, angel.”

He immediately latched his lips onto yours and your hands flew up to wrap around his neck, your fingers intertwining in his red locks soon after. He quickly pried your mouth open with his tongue and normally you would worry that you were an awful kisser, but with the way he explored your mouth so enthusiastically, you decided you didn’t care.

The way he had his seated upper body pressed against you drove you wild. Your core was swirling with want and since you never really had experience with the feeling before, you couldn’t tame it.

You couldn’t control your body as it involuntarily arched up into him and your leg slowly started creeping up to lay on top of his slightly angled lap that leaned toward you. He groaned into your mouth and then breathed heavily when his body slowly moved to hover over you properly, kneeling on the couch to let you put your legs up to pull him closer.

His lids were heavy when he pulled back momentarily. “Angel, I think we need to–”

“No…” You adamantly cut off his anguished words with a whiny plea as you tangled your legs with his. You were slightly freaked out with how bold you were being, but you refused to let that get to your head and stop you.

He grunted when you pulled him flush to you and your hands naturally traveled all over his neck and back. He had one of his thighs in between your legs and you couldn’t explain the type of feeling you had when he pressed it up against you, all you could register was the embarrassing moan that escaped your lips.

You sucked your lips in your mouth and scrunched your eyes tightly with the mortification. You could feel his breath on your face as he looked down on you. “God, you’re so adorable.” You opened your eyes and whined at his patronizing remark.

“Minho! Don’t make fu–ahh–” You were cut off by another moan when he pressed against you again. Once again, you clamped your eyes shut and you couldn’t catch your breath. The pleasure his thigh brought you had an almost frightening effect on you. Your hands grabbed onto his biceps for dear life when he stopped moving. You looked up with pleading eyes.

“What do you want, baby girl?” His voice was a low growl as he teased you.

You bit your lip and took a deep breath, finally looking up at him with shaky eyes. “Can… Can you please do that again…?” You felt beyond humiliated for saying it out loud and your whole body turned an aggressive shade of red. Do I seem desperate? Am I a slut for wanting this? Why hasn’t he responded?!

Your ruminating ended when he ran his hand down your face with a wicked smile. His fingertips slowly ran down from your cheek, to your neck, down your decolletage and the side of your breast, finally ending its journey at the hem of your shirt, running his thumb just barely underneath to touch your bare skin. “Anything you want, sweet girl.”

You threw your head back again when he ran his whole thigh up between your legs, making your hips accidentally buck up. You squeaked out a ‘m-mm’ between your lips that were trying to hold back the humiliating noises, but Minho plunged in and there was no holding back. He latched his lips onto your neck and started licking and lightly sucking, leaving little wet kisses down the length of it. The noises tried to escape you, but you refused to let them.

He was slow with his movements, and you could feel his bulge press against your hip. The feeling made you terrified of the realization of what was actually happening, but you felt giddy that he was enjoying this just as much as you were. However, he only stopped after a few long strokes, removing his leg and pulling away to hover over you again

You huffed and cocked your head to look at him. He was slightly biting his lip, looking almost pained. “Angel, we really need to stop. We will have more time later, yeah?”

“B-but!” You whined and clung onto him, hiding your face in his shoulder. "But it hurts when you stop…” Your mind wasn’t able to focus on anything other than the aching between your legs. You rubbed your knees together to try and get some friction.

He looked down at your action and licked his lips. He chuckled shakily and caressed the bare skin of your waist where your shirt had risen up. “I know, baby. But I won’t have much willpower to not go further if I stay any longer.” Your ears burst into flames from the implication. “Can I help you with that some other time?” You shivered from his caress on your skin and his sugary sweet tone.

“I guess so…” You didn’t even realize that you started to sound so crestfallen and shy. However, you felt bashful as hell from how you were acting, so it was no surprise that you sounded like it. “I… I think I really like kissing you…”

He laughed at your honest remark and pushed some disheveled hair out of your face. “Oh yeah?” You looked away with a dusting of pink on your cheeks as you nodded. Another snicker escaped him. “Well…” He placed a soft kiss on your forehead. “We’ve got plenty of time to do that later.”

He winked at you and you hid your face with your hands to hide your giddy reaction. You heard the click of his tongue and you peeked through your fingers.

“You make it so hard to stop when you’re so goddamned adorable.” He leaned in and whispered in your ear. “It makes me want to ruin you, baby girl…” The gasp you sucked in almost choked you and your eyes went wide. He flashed you that beautiful, evil half grin he always donned and you bit your lip as your face burnt.

He sat up and removed his hovering body away from you, but you stayed layed and hidden behind your hands.

“D-don’t tease me, Min…” You didn’t even realize you had said the shortened name until you felt the scorching hot feeling of his hand on your bare thigh squeeze you.

“Min, huh? I like that.” You finally sat up, too intimidated to look at his face and felt your heart crumble when he stood up and turned back to you. “I promise we will have more time later, angel. I’ve got to get those earbuds and head back to work.” He held out his hand and you took it to stand up slowly.

You were surprised with the soft smile he gave you instead of his normal intimidating one.

After he retrieved the aforementioned item, he softly pecked your cheek at the front door. “I’ll text you, yeah? Don’t lock yourself away from me again while I’m gone, kay?”

You nodded and it was only when you looked back at the couch that you realized what you had done. HOLY SHIT! You had JUST RECENTLY had your first kiss and you were already ready to give away your whole body to this man!!!

…

He’s definitely worth it.

- - - - - - - - - -

It wasn’t long before you saw Minho again, he decided to take you out like a proper boyfriend. Dinner, the movies, all that fun stuff. You were surprised with how funny and how much of an oddball he was. After the encounter where you fucking nailed his beautiful face and cracked it open like an egg (to which the other boys taunted him about profusely), he wanted to slow down with you, much to your dismay.

Even when you two were alone, he didn’t try anything, even if your thirsty ass wanted to be all over him. After about a month of that happening, your thoughts started spiraling down with anxiety and insecurities. He is sick of me. I wasn’t any good and now he is letting me down easy. I should have known that a man like him would never want to be with someone as pathetic as me. I should just make it easy for him and shut–

“NOONA!” Changbin shouted, shaking you from your thoughts.

“Huh? What?” You fumbled out of your daze as you fixed your eyes on your brother.

You and all of the guys were hanging out at your house in the living room for a movie night. Changbin sat in the armchair while you, Minho, Jisung, and Chan huddled on the sectional. You curled in on yourself with anxiety when all the guys watched Minho wrap his arm around you when you got settled in on the couch.

Before you and Minho went on your first official date, you had told Changbin. It was like he went through several stages of introspectiveness. First, he was quiet, like he wasn’t sure he heard you right. Second, he was angry, mad that Minho even came onto you. Third, he was hysterical, disbelieving that you were telling the truth. Fourth, he was grieving, sad that his elder sister was no longer his ‘baby sister’ (even though you literally weren’t). And finally, he was happy for you and Minho, deciding that if you were with anyone, he was glad it was with Minho.

However, it was when Changbin eyed him speculatively that you had zoned out.

“Noona, I called you like, three times.” He sat forward on his chair to get your attention and you shivered when Minho massaged your arm. You couldn’t look at either of them.

“O-oh, sorry… I must have zoned out…” You weakly chuckled and you realized that you started to sound meek again.

“We were asking what movie you wanted to watch.” Jisung jovially said to you from the other side of Minho.”

“Oh, um… I don’t really care…” You ducked your head down, unintentionally cowering from the attention. Why were you so anxious today?

“You sure?” Minho said from beside you, trying, and failing, to catch your gaze. You just silently nodded to him.

“Well okay then!” Chan clapped his hands as he stood up. “Changbin, let’s go grab some snacks and then we can watch ‘Parasite’, everyone cool with that?”

There was a “Hell yeah!” from Jisung and a “Cool with me.” from Minho. You just pathetically nodded again.

You could feel Minho’s gaze on you and you pulled your legs up on the couch to hug your knees.

Jisung must have felt the tension because he headed to the kitchen as well with a brief “Uh… I’ll go help them!”

That was when you felt Minho shift forward to face you in a way that you couldn’t escape his eyes. “You okay, angel? You seem tense.” He lightly massaged your shoulder and you minutely relaxed. You were exponentially smitten with this man.

“I’m fine, Min…” You looked down. “...Just distracted…” You bit your lip, hoping he wouldn’t look into it further.

“Talk to me, babe. I wanna help.” Your heart soared, even though you deflated from his insistence.

“I…” You didn’t know how to put your thoughts into words. You bit your lip and looked down.

You weren’t prepared for him to gently grab your chin with his thumb and index finger and direct your field of vision right into his eyes. He looked to the hall that connected to the kitchen and then gazed back at you, lowering his eyes to your lips as he leaned in to give you a long, lingering kiss. When he pulled back, he had a slight smirk. “Trust me, I have ways of making you talk.”

His hand landed on your thigh and you froze.

His lustful expression started gravitating closer to your face and just when you were for sure his actions were going to lead in a certain direction, he abruptly went the opposite way. You squealed when he wrapped himself around you and started tickling you relentlessly, the hand that was on your thigh moving to wrap around your waist and pull you tight to trap you against him.

He smiled at your tears of laughter and a deep red dusted across your cheeks once you begged for mercy and he stopped his torture. He looked at you like you had hung the moon and you swooned.

Once your mind settled, it anxiously remembered his question and your happy reactions turned back into anxious ones. “I… I…” You couldn’t get anything but that one syllable out of your mouth and he bit back an amused smile.

“How can you be so precious–.” He kissed your cheek. “–And yet so sexy at the same time, hm?” He practically growled the words into your ear and you were absolutely frozen. “Now…” He leaned back and looked you in the eyes again, his hand returning to park on your upper thigh. “Are you going to talk to me? Or do you want me to leave?”

Your eyes blew wide. There was no way in hell that you would let him go now. “N-No!” You wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him in place. He seemed very amused by your loud outburst. “I… I’ve just been thinking…” He tilted his head cutely and you blushed. “We haven’t really done anything since…”

You directed your vision to the very couch you were sitting on. The one where you just about gave all of yourself to him. You knew he understood as he closed his eyes and slightly nodded.

“A-and…” You habitually looked away when your nerves were through the roof and your lower lip was almost bloodied from your anxious chewing. “And I’m afraid… that you didn’t like it… that you don’t want me in the way I want you… or that I am too pathe–”

You were cut off by his lips crashing into yours and his hands tightening around you. He continued to press kisses all over your mouth and face and a giggle escaped your lips. When he relented his attack, he looked at you with a worried smile. “Whatever it is that you are thinking, just know that you can’t be any more wrong.”

You felt shy and ashamed under his intense gaze.

“I’m a blunt man, noona. I don’t sugarcoat anything, you should know that by now.” You meekly nodded your head. “If I didn’t want you, I wouldn’t be holding you right now.” He squeezed you tighter and dug his fingers into your upper thigh. “If I didn’t want you, I wouldn’t be kissing you.” He placed a delicate kiss to your lips. “And if I didn’t want to ruin you right this instant, I wouldn’t be fucking my hand every single day while thinking of you.”

Your eyes popped out of your head when the gravely words left his mouth and he slid the thumb of his hand up your inner thigh mere inches from where you wanted him. You shivered as he groped your thigh and looked down at you with fire in his eyes.

“And DON’T–” You cowered at his enraged tone of voice. “–EVER fucking say you are anything less than the incredible woman you are.” You deflated and your heart ached. “You are the most infuriatingly adorable, intelligent, sexy, and kind-hearted person I know.” He squeezed you impossibly tight. “Don’t you ever forget that, okay?”

He had stolen all of the words out of your lungs as your mind only focused on the fact that you realized you loved him. After only a couple months of knowing Minho, you had fallen hard and fast. The only thing that you could squeak out was a small “O-okay…”

His eyes went dark again. “Say it like you mean it, angel.”

The intimidation that radiated off of him snapped you back to reality. “Okay… okay, Min…”

His features softened and he provided a genuine smile. “Good girl.” The way he said it gave you a chill down your spine and you pulled him closer by his neck, stealing a long, sensual kiss.

“Gross, guys! Get a fucking room, would ya?!” Jisung shouted from nowhere. You retracted yourself from the redhead as if he was made of fire and felt your entire body flush. You were as stiff as a board while Minho kept his arm around you with a smirk. Oh god, earth, swallow me now.

Changbin walked in with a glare directed at Minho and you knew this was going to be a looong movie.

- - - - - - - - - -

You had bid Chan and Jisung farewell and a good night as Changbin sluggishly dragged himself up the stairs and to his bedroom.

As for you and Minho, the latter had you pressed up against the wall next to the front door as he sucked and licked his way down your neck. You had your hands underneath his shirt to feel his bare back and his hands were firmly groping your ass.

“God…” He said between the desperate kisses on your neck and collarbone. “I wanted to take it slow, but…” He bit down particularly hard on your shoulder and you whined. “...but you’re driving me fucking crazy…” He wedged his leg in between yours and provided that erotic feeling on your clit with his thigh again.

You had tried to play with yourself since Minho had introduced you to that kind of pleasure, and you got to explore your sexual side, but it was nothing compared to his touch.

You whimpered when you finally got to feel his hard thigh on you again. He pressed it against you firmly, but your natural instincts took over and you started grinding down hard on the strong muscle, trying to keep your moans quiet so Changbin wouldn’t hear.

“Tell me how it feels, baby. I bet your wet cunt is so pretty right now.” You gasped and blushed to the point of it being painful at his profane words while he used his hold on your ass to raise you up and down on his flexed quad and, in turn, also rubbed his erection against your hip. You were unbearably red from his boldness and the filth of it all.

You breathlessly and bashfully answered. “You… you make me feel so good, Min…”

You felt him smile against your neck and then he relented his assault on your ass, just to run his hands up the back of your shirt to feel your bare skin as well. “That’s right baby, tell me how good. I want to hear those dirty thoughts finally come out of that pretty little mouth.”

You wouldn’t be able to in a hundred years. You couldn’t tell him that your panties were drenched right now. Or the fact that you wanted him to touch you in any and every way possible. Or the fact that you had thought of him fucking you senseless countless times. No, you definitely couldn’t respond.

You whined pathetically and hid your face in his shoulder as you continued to grind down on him. “Awe, is my angel too shy?” You nodded into his shoulder. “It’s okay baby, all I need to hear are those sweet noises of yours.” He smiled as he raised your lips to his and hugged you tight against his body, grinding into you hard enough to have you both sighing in pleasure.

“M-Min… I’m having that feeling again…” You whimpered against his lips.

“Oh yeah? I bet you are soaked for me right now. I can only imagine how gorgeous you would be if you came all over yourself…” He bit his lip to hide his evil smile when you gaped at his dirty words. The hands that were traveling all over your back were scorching hot and all you wanted was for him to use those hands in other places.

“M-Minnie?” He hummed as he kissed your neck again. “Can you t-touch me?”

He looked up at you astounded. It looked like his mind glitched as he stopped moving for a moment, but he quickly resumed his cocky demeanor. “Of course, angel. Where would you like me to touch you?” He moved his hands around to your abdomen and started rubbing his thumbs around in circles, both of each other’s pelvises never relenting their grinding the entire time.

You were too embarrassed to ask directly outright, so you removed your hands from his back to reach under the back of your shirt to unclasp your bra, making it easier for him to access when you grabbed his hands and slid them up to your breasts under your shirt. He bit his lip and hummed.

Once he started massaging them, you wrapped your arms around him and hid your face once more, earning a small chuckle from him. “God, even your tits feel perfect, baby girl.” You felt a jolt shoot straight to your crotch when you felt him lightly roll your nipple between his fingers and you bucked your hips. “Sensitive, are we? Good to know…” He dug his face in your shoulder as well and started leaving marks all across it.

You had read some smut here and there throughout your literary journey and you never understood what was so sexual about boobs. You saw your own every day and when you touched your own, there was no effect. To you, they were just flabs of fat that were there only for if you decided to breastfeed down the road.

Oh how wrong you were. After having been thoroughly aroused by Minho, all of your senses were on fire. Once Minho even slightly tweaked your nipple, you realized the feeling of the supple flesh being prodded was a direct line to making your toes curl and your knees weaken.

What was once light squeezes and flicks that tested the waters of your tolerance, turned into him firmly molding the flesh in his hands and pinching your sensitive buds. You removed one of your hands from him and held it over your mouth to muffle the cry of pleasure you belted out.

He kissed his way up your neck and bit your earlobe. “Feel how hard you make me?” He pressed his erection into your hip for emphasis and you whined in between your fingers. “I can’t even count the number of times I’ve thought about feeling you hot and wet around me.” He moved your hand so he could lick into your mouth. “It’s beyond concerning how I want to corrupt something so pure.”

Out of nowhere, he started to slow down and kiss you slow and sensually. His ministrations on your breasts started faltering and the stroking of his thigh became minutely less intense.

He pulled back from the kiss and freed one of his hands again to caress your face. “And yet…” He looked at you with sparkling eyes. “I want to cherish and protect you all the same.”

You felt your cheeks heat up (as if they weren’t already) and you leaned into his touch. “I… I want you to take all of my firsts, Minho…” His eyes blew wide and so did yours, stopping any and all movement between the two of you. You hadn’t even considered the weight of your words before they tumbled out of your mouth, and yet, you meant them all the same.

You wanted to give your all to this man. Yes he was your first with a lot of things, and there was always the risk of losing him down the road, but you didn’t care. It’s not as if you particularly wanted to preserve your virginity, but you knew that if it was with Minho, he would make it special regardless.

However, if the dumbfounded look on Minho’s face was any indication, he probably wasn’t on the same page as you. Maybe he was just hoping to get a quick fling in and not bother with the mess of taking someone’s first. Maybe he just liked leading you on for fun. You paled. “I-I’m sorry… I-I don’t–” You felt your tear ducts swell with mortification. Of course, he is just playing with me, who would ever want to actually do something so intimate with someone like me?

You were cut off by his lips on yours (apparently he enjoyed doing that to shut up your intrusive thoughts). “Why are you apologizing, stupid little girl?” He smiled fondly at you and you shyly smiled back. “I don’t want to rush you into anything, angel. I need you to really think about it first.”

He pecked your cheek and took a step back from you. Your eyebrows furrowed. “W-w-w-w-wha–” You were so desperate for him not to leave that your baffled words failed you. What? Just like that?

You reached out to snake your arms around his neck. Did what I say put him off? It was just getting to the good part though…

You pouted and he laughed at you, removing your hands from his neck and pecking both sets of knuckles. “Angel, you can’t say shit like that to me and expect me to continue. I won’t be able to stop once I’ve started!”

You whined petulantly. “B-but that’s what I want!” He scoffed at your reaction and then suddenly fixed his dark gaze on your body, grabbing your hips and pulling you flush to him.

Without a moment’s notice, he harshly bit below your jaw and growled in your ear. “You don’t know what you’re asking for. Now be a good girl and be patient.” He finished with a low whisper. “I promise I will make it worth your while.”

Your whole body shook with nerves and he pulled back with a cocky grin. You pressed your thighs together with want and your brows worried. You were sure you would die if you had to wait any longer.

Still holding onto your hips, he gave you a long, sensual kiss. “Goodnight, my adorable little angel~” He said almost mockingly as he headed toward the door, as if he knew just how much he was leaving you pining for more. You fixed a glare on him as he chuckled and sauntered out of your house.

Did he just (hypothetically) blue ball me?

- - - - - - - - - -

Minho:

For the record

I just ate galbi with Sungie

WITHOUT YOU

A tragedy I tell you

A TRAGEDY

You inadvertently snuck a peek at your phone while organizing a new shipment of books and you had to stifle a chuckle. You constantly tried to get Minho alone, but, much to your dismay, one of the guys always tagged along.

It's not like you didn’t like hanging out with the others, they were a hoot, and you could actually talk semi-comfortably with them now, but they… lingered. Obviously, any time you would have Minho at your place, Changbin was always there to cock block you. And any time you tried to go to his place, Jisung was there. Jisung, being Minho’s roommate, made them a package deal. And even though you got exponentially closer to Jisung than the others, you were still a very shy person (shocker, I know) and you couldn’t even kiss Minho around any of them without folding in on yourself in embarrassment.

Needless to say, after two weeks of this bullshit, you were getting desperate.

Angel Noona:

That’s not my fault!

I have to work to survive!

…and feed Changbin

Minho:

What about me?!

Ur starving me!

Angel Noona:

???

Minho:

You’re starving me of much needed one on one time with my girl! 😩

You laughed and rolled your eyes at his melodrama.

Minho:

Fuck everyone else

Are you free after work?

Sungie’s staying at his parent’s place tonight

Your eyes widened when you snuck off to your hideout to read those three suggestive lines. You were suddenly in panic mode. Your thoughts were spiraling and your anxiety shot through the roof. Is he planning on tonight being THE night? Surely he doesn’t want to. He’s blunt, if he wants it, he will say it outright… right?

As if he heard your inner monologue from miles away, you felt the buzz indicating another message.

Minho:

Feeling shy, angel? 😉

I know u read what I sent

You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath, contemplating a response that didn’t sound like you had just been slapped in the face by a flurry of dangerous thoughts and lewd scenarios.

Angel Noona:

No I'm not!

I just wanted to be sure…

U mean, like, TONIGHT tonight?

Minho:

Lol ur cute

U don’t have to if u don’t wanna

I just miss u 💛

Your heart swelled and what was once a fit of anxiety quickly turned into a feeling of longing.

Angel Noona:

I miss u too…

Can I stop by my place first?

I need to grab a couple of things

Minho:

I see…

I hope ur not assuming ur staying the night

Your heart dropped and confusion was surely written all over your face. Maybe he just wants a quick lay before he goes to bed?

Minho:

LOL 😂

I can practically hear the wheels turning in ur head

It’s a joke, angel

Angel Noona:

😡

Ur so mean

Minho:

And ur so fucking adorable

But like…

In a way that makes me want to devour you

As soon as possible

Respectively of course

Your whole face lit up and images started pinballing around in your brain. You were suddenly thinking of how you could get off work as soon as possible.

Angel Noona:

I’ll take off early

I’ll be there soon

Minho:

Eager are we?

Angel Noona:

No…

Minho:

Suuure

Whatever you say, sweetheart 😘

You scoffed and elected to leave him on read for that one, quickly calling Felix to come cover your shift. And, like the saint he is, agreed easily once you explained. You could always count on your best friend when it came to helping you broaden your horizons. Let’s just hope I don’t make a complete tit out of myself…

- - - - - - - - - -

You had stiffened when Minho opened the door to his apartment and froze to shamelessly check you out.

You went a little overboard when you went home to pack. You dusted a little makeup on your face, dolled up your hair, and changed clothes. Felix had forced them upon you last time you took him shopping because they were ‘so hot’ and ‘they compliment your body sooo perfectly’. Needless to say, it wasn’t an outfit you would EVER choose for yourself, and hence, has been hidden neatly in the dark corners of your closet ever sense.

However, on this particular night, you decided to trust Felix’s judgment. You felt extremely self-conscious walking up to Minho’s apartment in a tight, black, long-sleeved crop top and a high-waisted red plaid flare skirt topped off with black, thigh-high stockings. You felt like a damned slutty schoolgirl, even if you did wear your usual worn-out, hightop Converse, it even almost fit the look. It didn’t help that you brought your stuff with you in a backpack. You were going to kill Felix if this ended badly.

You looked down at your shoes, anxiously turning your feet inward while your fingers fiddled with the soft fabric of your skirt, not knowing what else to do while he just stood and stared.

You got even more anxious the longer the silence lingered and you were quickly regretting your decision. “Don’t just stand there… say something…” Your voice was reverting back to its old ways with the amount of fear running through your veins.

You looked up at him just in time to see him shake his head as if to snap back into reality. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water and, before he could get any words out, Jisung walked up behind him with a bag slung over his shoulder. He stood in the doorway next to Minho with a similar expression.

Jisung apparently was the first to be able to form words. “Oh… Oh my god, noona…” Both of the men’s ears were bright red and you quickly dropped your head down again, fidgeting even more with a crimson face that rivaled the color of theirs. “Noona, are you sure you want this guy? Like, I might not be as tall or as buff, but–” Jisung’s words were cut off by Minho’s hand aggressively grabbing the back of his neck and pushing him out the door while pulling you in. “Don’t have too much fun!” You faintly heard Jisung shout as Minho slammed the door in his best friend’s face.

You worriedly looked up at Minho who still hadn’t said a word, he just continued to look down at your attire. You raised your hands and covered your face. “Oh god, I knew this was a bad idea…” You groaned.

“No!” He grabbed your hands and held them tightly in the space between you as you gnawed on your lip anxiously. “N-no, I’m sorry! You look… just… wow… like… wow…” A familiar pink adorned your cheeks while a tiny smile bloomed on your lips. Your habitual shyness made you look down at his strong hands intertwined with your dainty ones to avoid eye contact.

“Y-you don’t think it’s too much?” You peered up at his face which hadn’t changed from his flabbergasted expression the entire time.

“What? Hell no! It’s just… shit angel… I really wanted to just simply have you here, but goddamnit you’re making it really difficult for me…” He released your hands and instead wrapped his arms around your waist, moving his eyes up from your attire to meet your eyes.

You were in a much similar situation. Ever since he told you that you two would be alone that night, your mind went to some very interesting places. You wrapped your arms around his neck in return and kept your glazed eyes fixed on his own as you mindlessly kicked off your shoes behind you.

You tentatively stood on your toes to press a kiss to his lips with a rose tint dusted across your cheeks and he immediately deepened it, roaming his hands over the small space of your bare back that your crop top revealed. Right at that moment, you heard a shrill beeping coming from somewhere inside the apartment. “Shit…” He mumbled against your lips and then sullenly rested his forehead against yours. “The lasagna…”

You smiled and then giggled a bit, making him smile in return.

“C’mon, angel. Let’s go eat.”

- - - - - - - - - -

After dinner, the two of you decided to settle down for a movie. You two found out that you shared an affinity for anime and you two had already prepared a list of shows and movies that you both wanted to watch somewhere down the road.

However, with the lights turned off, a warm blanket covering both of your bodies as you snuggled up to him, and the LEDs from the TV shining off of his beautiful face, you were anxious about what was to come. You were pretty sure you were going to lose your virginity that night, and you were more than excited to give that gift to Minho. But you couldn’t help but have your worries.

No one else has ever seen me naked. Will he think my body is pretty? I haven’t even watched porn before so I am probably the least experienced person in the world. Hell, I haven’t even physically seen a penis! Will he stop liking me if I’m bad in bed? Biologically, he will break my hymen. Will it hurt? Will there be blood? OH GOD, what if I get blood on his sheets?! I might as well die right then and there. Should I have started birth control? Does he have protection? Will he think–

Your thoughts were instantly redirected when Minho shifted in his spot next to you where you had cuddled up under his arm. He wrapped his hand under your arm and around your waist to pull you further up his chest so he could also prop a leg up on the couch next to your curled up legs.

This was fine. You could manage this. Deep breaths.

However, you knew you felt stiff and you didn’t want him to think you were uncomfortable. So, without further ado, you scooted yourself up a bit further to wrap your arm around his abdomen and laid your head on his chest. You knew it was risky, but you also wrapped your leg around the one he had propped up on the couch.

You heard him take a large exhale and you wondered if he was holding his breath. Was he just as nervous as you were?

His body felt a million degrees hotter than usual as you were pressed up against him and goosebumps sprouted up all over your skin when he started rubbing circles with his thumb on your bare midriff with the hand he had wrapped around your waist. Holy fuck, how am I getting wet from just THINKING about this?

You bit your lip and clenched your eyes shut in an attempt to not make any lewd noises with the touch, but apparently, you weren’t as subtle as you thought. “You okay, angel?” His breath was hot as it fanned over the top of your head from where you were positioned on his chest. God, how does he affect me this much?

You looked up at him with a tiny smile and nodded. He smiled back softly and placed a lingering peck on your forehead, looking back at the TV soon thereafter. You, however, were mesmerized by his beauty. You knew all too well that he was a true Adonis. A statue carved by the gods. But you still could not believe that someone so perfect could be yours. You were undeserving of this man and you felt the sharp pang of love strike your heart again.

Your eyes were given a feast and you were a glutton. Your gaze drifted down to his perfectly smooth neck with veins that you wanted to trail over with your touch. You noted how his Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped down a dry swallow.

His chest was broad and his pecs were prominent and strong, you couldn’t help but wonder what he was hiding under that thin shirt. His arms were soft and toned, veins indicating that he was strong enough to break you and you didn’t know why that turned you on so much. And oh my god HIS THIGHS, you had a fetish for those damn quads and you weren’t afraid to admit it. Especially with how he had used them to give you more pleasure than you had ever known… so far.

Lastly, your eyes landed on the main course of the night. Even when he was flaccid, his bulge was more than prominent. You were almost scared of what was behind that zipper. Even with that said, your mouth inexplicably watered and you felt waves of your arousal coating your inner labia. You instinctively pulled yourself closer to him, clenching your thighs together around his side.

He squeezed you in turn, most likely assuming you just wanted to hug him closer. He was… partially correct…

Your gaze drifted back up to his face and you licked your lips when you stared at the plump slope of his pouty upper lip. Your own mind had fully gotten you worked up and you wanted this man and you wanted him now.

You even surprised yourself when you scooted up to press a warm kiss to his cheek. When he turned and smiled at you, you got lost in his eyes. You habitually closed your eyes and laid the first gentle kiss onto his lips, which he returned in kind, letting you set the pace. You didn’t know if you liked that kind of control or not.

Regardless, you hugged him tighter as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss, running your fingers through his fiery locks in lieu of hugging his abdomen. When you tentatively poked your tongue out, he responded eagerly, pushing his own tongue against yours and exploring each other’s mouths once again. You didn’t think you could ever tire of kissing him. It felt like your lips were made for each other.

You felt his grip around your waist tighten and he used his free hand to gently run his fingertips up and down the side of your thigh. When you let out a loud, wistful sigh, he lowered his hand on your thigh to grab the back of it, pulling you up slightly further. You had rid yourself of all anxieties and replaced them with pure, carnal desire.

You deepened the kiss even further and slightly angled your body further on top of him, making him mimic your previous sigh.

With the leg he was grasping, you tentatively slid your thigh up and down the length of his growing semi and you freed the arm trapped underneath you to hold yourself above him. You had no clue what you were doing so you just let instincts take over. He was groaning into your mouth with the ministrations your leg was giving him along his length and his hand slid up under your skirt to grope your ass.

Your whole body was on fire and you were lost in the haze that was Lee Minho. The way his hand around your waist dipped up under your shirt a bit further, just enough to caress the edge of the latch of your bra. The way his breath was hot and heavy as it fanned across your face. The way the hand on your ass started kneading further and further around, closing on the inside of your thigh from behind.

It was all too much and not enough altogether.

You needed to touch him and you needed it now.

You retreated your hand from his locks and used it to snake its way under the hem of his shirt to splay your fingers out over his abdomen. The defined muscles under your touch flexed and you quietly whined into the kiss.

Your kisses became sloppy as you nipped at each other's lips and you wanted to explore this enigmatic man even further. You wanted your mind and body completely melded to him. Your body decided your next move before your brain did.

You paused your kissing, eating him up solely with your eyes and you moved so your entire body was on top of him, your thighs hugging his hips tightly once both of his legs were fully on the couch. Your tongue wanted a taste of his taut skin and you latched your lips onto his neck, suckling tentatively.

When you moved your groin against him, your eyes flew open and you gasped at how good it felt for your pussy to be pressed up against his clothed erection directly. You felt a sense of pride when you heard him try to bite back a moan.

He felt like heaven, with your hands under his shirt and his under yours, you figured there was no use for formalities anymore as you sat up on him and tried to claw his shirt off of him. He chuckled at your desperate movements.

He grabbed your flurried hands as you desperately tried to get him to cooperate. His voice was velvety smooth and lower than usual. Your whole body was shaking and all you could think about was how much you needed him NOW. “Settle down, angel. Use your words for me.” You flushed at his taunting words and curled in on yourself.

You whined when you crashed back down on his chest to hide your face, your hips unable to stop their grinding until he stopped them for you with his hands on your hips.

“Now, now.” He whispered against your hair and gave you a tender kiss on the head. “Don’t be a brat. You don’t get anything unless you’re brave enough to ask.” You could still hear the smirk on his face and you wanted to throw a tantrum.

You couldn’t look at him as your words were muffled in his shirt. “P-please, Minnie… I want to touch you…” You were too far gone to feel embarrassed at how desperate you sounded because truthfully, you were. Really. Really. Desperate.

He freed one of his hands from your hips and cupped your chin to look up at him. “Good girl. Anything for you, angel.”

He pulled you in for a kiss again, passionate and ravenous and you didn’t hesitate to use your free hands to your advantage and sit up to strip yourself of your own shirt first. You felt blood rush to your cheeks when he pulled back to look at you.

“Goddamn, baby girl…” His eyes were glued to your lacy bralette and his hands naturally gravitated towards them (kudos to Felix for his undergarment suggestions). You blushed heavily and bit your lip as he groped the clothed mounds and he looked mesmerized. A tiny smile found its way to your lips and you leaned forward to whisper against his lips.

“Can you take it off for me?” You were astonished with how bold you had gotten within the past few minutes, and even though you still sounded meek, when his hands rushed to unclasp your bra and throw it somewhere within the dark void of the apartment, you were too eager to think on it much.

You had to force yourself to allow him to look at your naked chest without instinctually covering yourself. However, you did have to look away for your next query. “C-can I take yours off too? I want to… I want to feel you…”

He let out a shaky breath when he looked at your flustered face. “How the fuck can you be so adorable, yet so goddamn sexy at the same time? You drive me insane, baby girl.” He sat the both of you up so he could rid himself of his own shirt and when he leaned back again… holy hell.

Your eyes feasted on his chest and abdomen as your fingers naturally gravitated to graze across his abs and pecs. You felt him shiver underneath you, his hands finding their home on your hips as he tried to keep himself from grinding up into you. “Y-you’re so beautiful, Minnie.” Your eyes sparkled as you looked back up at his face, his expression surely similar to your own.

“Fuck, have you seen yourself? You are the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on…” His hands closed in around your breasts and gave them a gentle squeeze. Again, you were surprised at how this simple action made your hairs stand on end and made your body lean into his touch. He looked up into your eyes as his thumbs grazed over your nipples.

You were sure your entire body was crimson, but you had to bite back a moan and close your eyes from just that small stimulation from him. However, all was for naught when he leaned in and sucked one of the pink buds into his mouth. Your moan came unbidden and you clamped your hand over your mouth.

He pulled back with furrowed brows. “Don’t be shy, baby. I want to hear that pretty voice. Want to finally hear filthy things fall from those sweet, innocent lips…” He thumbed your bottom lip as he spoke and his other hand still played with your nipple. Your breathing was heavy as he looked at your reddened face and you squeezed your eyes shut and whined when he rolled the soft bud between his fingers. “So fucking sweet…”

He hungrily latched his lips onto your neck and you loudly gasped when he wrapped his arms under your thighs and hefted the both of you up off the couch. Your hands flew to hold yourself up around his neck as he stumbled his way into his bedroom. Your heart was racing at the speed of light when he sat down on the bed, keeping you straddled around him as he pulled you impossibly tight on his lap.

This was it. You knew there was no doubt of what was going to happen once the two of you moved to the bed. Your body was shaking with nerves and he definitely could tell.

His face softened and he moved a hand to cup your cheek, gently running his thumb along your swollen and spit-slick lips. “We don’t have to do anything, angel. I love you with or without–” He cut himself off when he saw your astonished face.

WHAT THE FUCK? HE LOVES ME?! Your mind was stunned into stillness, only focused on one thing. MINHO. MINHO. MINHO. How the hell does this ethereal human being love someone like ME? There’s no fucking way. There is no way that this is reciprocated.

That was the first time you saw Minho blushing and flustered. “I-I mean… I know you may not–”

You cut him off with a searing kiss and pulled him flush against you, not wanting to ever let him go. “Oh my god–* God, Minho–*” You continued saying in between kisses. “God, I love you too–* So freaking much–* You have no idea–*” You were blabbering as he laughed between your desperate kisses. However, he stopped his laughter when you started grinding against him and you snaked your tongue between his lips, instead making him groan into your mouth and pull you tighter against him.

You were on cloud nine and you never wanted to come down.

You were feeling dizzy from the amount of heat radiating between the two of you and you were eager to feel his bare tumescence between your legs. You tentatively slid your hand between the two of your bodies and lightly palmed his erection. You had no clue what you were doing, but you at least knew the pressure would feel nice to him.

The kiss was interrupted by him groaning against your lips, his open mouth breathing heavily into your own. You felt proud of yourself and moved to suckle on his neck again.

Without warning, he flipped the two of you upside down further up the bed and he attacked you.

He started by kissing his way all the way down from your neck, to your clavicle, to your chest, and finally to your right nipple. Your back involuntarily arched up into him when he sucked, nibbled, and licked the sensitive bud, repeating the same actions on the left one. You were a whimpering mess and it wasn’t until you felt the hem of your skirt raising that you realized he was trailing his fingers up your inner thigh.

Your whole body went stiff in anticipation and your eyes flew open when you felt his warm fingers press against you over the fabric of your panties. If you had thought his thigh felt good against you, this was a whole other world of pleasure.

The pornographic moan that escaped your lips when he rubbed your clit over the fabric came as a surprise to both of you and he popped off of your nipple to smile at you devilishly. “That’s it, love. Tell me how it feels.” He sneered just before he trailed his lips down to the edge of your skirt.

“S-so g-good M-Min…” Your fucked out voice croaked out.

“Oh yeah? What about this?” Your whole body felt like it was electrocuted when he deftly pushed that last bit of thin fabric aside and ran his fingers through your dripping folds, sliding up to lightly pinch your bare clit.

You cried out loud and your voice was almost sobbing when you responded. “Ohmygod s-sogoodsogoodsogood!” You had never felt anything like this and you couldn’t even imagine that it could get any better.

“My good girl…” You cried out once more with a suppressed sob when you felt his hand retreat. Your head, which had been thrown back in pleasure, snapped up to see why the fuck he would rob you of that feeling, but your whole body shook at the sight of him. He had brought his shimmering fingers to his mouth and was slowly licking your arousal off of his digits. “So wet for me baby.” He sucked off the last slick digit and hummed. “Tastes even better than I imagined.”

You didn’t know why such a filthy thing would make you so horny, but you reveled in it. Your thighs instinctively rubbed together to get any kind of friction and you whined. “M-Minnie… need you…” Your brain was losing its ability to form complete sentences and you knew you would look back on yourself later and cringe.

He flashed his beautiful crooked smile and you were sure you had sparkles in your eyes with the way you looked at him. “Of course, my sweet angel.” He moved back up to briefly kiss your lips and then shimmied down to your feet to start slowly, painfully slowly pulling off your stockings. You wanted to whine and rip them off yourself, but the warning look in his eyes kept you at bay.

Just as he slipped off the last bit of your remaining sock, you started frantically undoing the zipper on the side of your skirt, clumsy fingers struggling with the small latch at the top.

Before you could even think to prepare yourself, he sprung on you like a lion and ripped your hands from their task, pinning them above your head with his threatening smile hovering inches from your face. “Tsk tsk tsk.” He tutted at you. “Overeagerness gets you nowhere princess.” He pressed a slow, wet kiss to your jaw. “You should know better by now.”

You were a whining and panting mess at this point and you wanted nothing more than to rip off any shred of remaining clothing separating the two of you.

As if he read your mind, he reclaimed one of his hands, still keeping both of yours clasped firmly in his other one, and slowly grazed his fingers down your skin to thumb at the latch of your skirt. “This…” He expertly undid the latch one-handed. “...is my job.”

Again, taking all the time in the world, he slowly pulled down the zipper until he released your hands so he could pull the remaining pieces of fabric off of you, both your skirt and your panties being thrown off to the side.

At this point, you had had enough. Right as he turned back to face you, his shirtless form standing at the foot of the bed, you crawled on all fours to grab him by his shoulders, turning him around and forcing him to lay back on the bed.

You straddled him, your lust-muddled brain not even processing that you were fully naked on top of him as you started kissing every inch of skin that you could see. His neck, his chest, his abs, everything was being showered with frantic kisses and you didn’t even notice his hands sneaking up your thighs to grab your ass until you felt him pull you down to rub against the rough fabric of his jeans covering his raging boner.

Your body seized up in pleasure and he used your moment of weakness to flip you back over. “Now, now, little lady. We don’t want to rush things now, do we?” You exhaled a frustrated huff that made him chuckle but you shook your head in agreement. Your anxious breaths picked back up as you saw him slide further down between your legs. “Now just lay back and let me take care of you, angel.”

Your whole body was shaking and you felt like you were running out of oxygen as you felt his breath ghost over your most sensitive area. You watched in reverie as he lowered himself down and he locked eye contact with you as he licked a fat stripe up between your folds to flick your throbbing pearl.

Your jaw dropped and you could swear you screamed, but no noise escaped your lips. He closed his mouth around your clit and started sucking hard and you saw stars. He had to hold down your hips from bucking directly up into his face so he wrapped his arms under your thighs and hiked them up on his shoulders so he had a firm grasp on your whole lower half to do what he pleased with it.

You felt something release inside you and then you really did scream. You would have to worry about potential noise complaints later because, right now, you were in a whole different dimension. A world where only you and Minho existed as he ate you out like a starved man.

Once you came down from your high, you were beyond embarrassed that you had just came all over your lover and his duvet. He didn’t let you think much further on it, however, as he continued to lap up and flick his tongue all over your cunt, racing you to your peak once again. You were pumping out moan after moan and when you felt one of his hands release you from its grasp, you thought he would stop.

However, he didn’t. He doubled his efforts and you choked on a sob when you felt a slender finger work its way inside you. It was only then that he retreated his mouth from you and the look on his face would be forever ingrained into your brain. He had a slight sheen of sweat on his brow and his mouth and chin were dripping as he gave you the brightest and most satisfied smile you had ever seen.

He continued to pump his finger inside you and he wiped off his face with the back of his hand as he moved up to kiss you. The taste of yourself on his mouth was unlike anything you could compare to. You just knew you needed more, more, more.

“I’m gonna stretch you a bit. Okay, beautiful?” He said as he eased a second digit in. Your heart swooned as you looked up at the man who currently had his fingers buried up your cooch and you nodded frantically before smashing your lips to him again.

You wanted to die being attached to this man’s lips. You felt like you would never be able to live again without his touch. Once he eased in a third finger, you winced and he shushed you soothingly while rubbing circles with his other hand on one of your spread thighs.

However, when he stopped pumping and started what felt like digging around, you once again felt that same heat wave roll over you and you instantly came once he found that spongey bundle of nerves inside you. He smiled against your agape mouth and you swore your eyes had rolled into the back of your head.

How THE FUCK did you never know your body could feel so good?!

The thought didn’t escape you, though, that it was in large part due to it being Minho making you feel this. You just knew that you would never be able to replicate this feeling on yourself.

You were still coming back to your senses when Minho quickly shimmied off the bed to start removing his jeans. You almost felt offended that he was doing it himself and he chuckled at you when he saw your pouty facial expression. “Oh, I’m sorry baby girl.” He cooed condescendingly. “Do you want to help me with the rest?”

With a hopeful smile, you moved to the edge of the bed where he stood in nothing but his boxers, cock straining against the fabric. You licked your lips nervously as you raised your trembling fingers to his waistband. He watched your expression as you shakily pulled down the fabric and his cock sprung free from its confines, the last remaining garment falling to the floor.

Your eyes blew wide and you were fascinated. His dick was unlike anything you imagined. It was thick with a nicely proportioned head that was glistening with precum at the tip. He had long strands of veins that protruded up the shaft and it had a slight curve upwards. You didn’t really know what else to expect, but you didn’t think that a dick could look so pretty.

You stared at it in wonder as you raised your hand to gently glide your fingertips over the surprisingly smooth skin. At that moment, you realized you were gawking and you peered up at his reaction in embarrassment. He had the most wicked smile on his face and you were quickly reminded of the dreadful aching between your legs.

He silently reached over to his nightstand and pulled out a foil packet from his bedside drawer. You felt yourself wondering who the last girl was who had sat here and seen him do the same thing for her. You quickly shook yourself from that thought and resolved yourself to live in the here and now.

Before he was about to tear it open, you stopped him with a hand on his wrist. “W-wait…”

His face was concerned as he looked back at you. “What is it, babe? Something wrong?” You shook your head and looked down with the brightest of reds blooming on your face. He quickly caught on with an evil grin. “You’ve gotta use your words, angel. Or are you planning on being a little devil tonight?” He grasped your chin to force you to look at him. “I know there’s something going on in that pretty head of yours.” He narrowed his eyes into slits, smile never faltering.

You briefly whined in defeat and then relented with humiliation in your voice. “Can… Can I taste you first?”

You expected him to tease your meek words relentlessly, but when you looked up, a whole new fire started to roar in his eyes. “Fuck…” He bent down and crashed his lips to yours in a brutal, yet brief kiss. “I fucking love you.” A smile grew on your face.

He then stood up straight again and held his cock steady for you, waiting for your next move. You licked your lips once again and felt yourself mesmerized by the appendage in front of you. You leaned in and gave it an experimental lick, a string of precum following your tongue from the action. You smacked your lips to assess the taste. Salty, bitter, and a tiny bit acidic, but not bad by any means.

You leaned back in and decided to take the whole head in this time, really exploring every grove and crevice as you took in more. You glanced up at his face and he looked absolutely ravenous. He was looking at you like he was going to devour you any second and when you felt his goosebumps raise under the hands that you had placed on his thighs, you knew you were doing something right.

Before you could explore any further, you were ripped from your experiment and your back hit the duvet again with a torrential rain of kisses falling down upon you. “You’re so…” More kisses. “...fucking…” Even more. “...perfect…” He finished with a passionate kiss on your lips before he pulled back and tore the condom wrapper open, sliding the rubber on himself with ease.

You settled back onto the bed to get more comfortable and you started to feel a sliver of anxiousness. Like, holy hell. Yeah, you’re horny enough to hump him like a bitch in heat, but, like… he’s big. You don’t necessarily have anything to compare it to since this is the first dick you had seen in person, but he was definitely bigger than those few fingers he just used on you.

He could obviously sense your internal struggle as he smoothed his palm up and down your thigh consolingly once he was positioned between your legs. “Don’t worry, angel. I’ll go slow to try and make it as comfortable as possible, okay?” You just looked into his beautiful, clear eyes and nodded dumbly. Damn, you were so gone for this man.

He hovered over you and captured your lips with his and his hand wandered down to play with your clit. Man, did he know how to read your body like the back of his hand, or what? Your anxiety was quickly replaced with arousal once again and you started arching up into him, silently begging for more as you tangled tongues with the man.

“Hey.” He said softly as he pulled back to look at you. Your eyes fluttered open as you continued to breathe heavily. “Keep your eyes on me.” He demanded, and you started to feel the slick heat of his cock run up and down the opening of your folds. You whimpered at the feeling and he soothingly ran the feather-light touch of his fingers up and down your thigh to relax you.

Your eyes squinted when you felt the first push of him breaching your entrance, but you kept your focus on him the entire time. It was very subtle, but you could see him briefly shiver as well. In that moment, you felt like he was staring straight into your soul. His eyes sparkled and when he kissed you, you could feel the pure love and desire he poured into it.

You felt a single tear roll down the side of your face and you pulled him impossibly closer to you, bringing him to fully sheath inside your tight cunt. The kiss was interrupted when your jaw dropped open at the sharp pang of brief pain that shot through your core that made you whimper like a puppy.

Again, he shushed you soothingly and brought a hand up to pet your sweaty hair out of your face. He rested his forehead against yours as you adjusted to the intrusion and your shaky breath mingled with his own.

You felt him start to trail feather-light touches all over your body, moving to start kissing down your neck and chest as well. You emitted a soft moan when he, once again, flicked your swollen nipple with his tongue.

He slowly moved to hover over you again and he brought his hand up to thumb at your lips. “Open.” He commanded in a raspy voice. You immediately complied and he pressed the pad of his thumb to your tongue, prompting you to suck and lick the entirety of it. A small smirk appeared on his face when you kept your eyes locked on him.

Your entire face was ablaze, but you focused your efforts on trying to keep him as aroused as you were by slowly twirling your tongue around his thumb as you suckled on it. The hunger in his eyes started to build once again as he reclaimed the slick digit and lowered it to press gingerly against your clit.

Your pussy involuntarily squeezed around him at the surprising and delectable pressure and the both of you groaned into each other’s mouths.

Your fingers were positively digging into this man’s back and you were sure that there were going to be marks left behind. You weren’t sure why that turned you on so much.

At some point during his ministrations on your clit, you realized that you no longer felt any pain and you found yourself wiggling under him for more of that delicious feeling of his cock moving inside you.

He was clenching his jaw tightly as if he was holding back from just pile-driving you into the mattress. You felt a sick pleasure inside you at the thought. His thumb started moving faster and your breaths started becoming quicker as you wrapped all your limbs around him with a whimper. “M-Minnie…” You spoke in a wistful tone. “M-More…” You whined and a cocky smirk grew on his face again.

“More what, baby?” He taunted. The bastard knew exactly what you wanted, he just wanted to hear you say it. He removed his hand from where he was driving you to the edge and you groaned in frustration. “Say it, angel.” He said in a low, seductive tone with a Cheshire grin. “Tell me how much you want my cock.”

You glared at him and he chuckled, unexpectedly grabbing your arms from around his neck and pinning your hands above your head once again. You squirmed and whined but he remained still with a firm grasp. You knew you could break free if you really wanted to, and he would let you, but there was nowhere you would rather be than right there underneath him.

“Say, ‘Minho, please fuck me.” He said in a poor imitation of your voice. “Say it with those sweet, innocent lips of yours and I will make you feel…” He kissed your cheek. “...so…” He kissed your jaw. “...so…” He kissed your neck. “...good.” He fanned his breath back up to your lips to wait for the words to fall from them.

Your face was scorching hot, but you were desperate. “M-Minho…” He grinned wider. “...please…” You screwed your eyes shut in embarrassment at what you were about to say as you took a deep breath. “Please fuck me…” You said in a hushed voice.

You waited, and after a moment of silence, you peeked your eyes open to look at him. He was staring at you as if he was about to eat you alive and it caused another wave of arousal to stir in your core. Without another word, you felt the breathtaking feeling of his dick dragging against your sensitive walls as he pulled out to the tip.

Your eyes fluttered as you focused on his expression of pleasure. His mouth was slightly open as he breathed heavily and he had his hooded eyes bored into your own. He interlocked his fingers with yours that he had pinned above your head and he slowly pushed back in so he wouldn’t hurt your tender cervix.

You bared your neck when you threw your head back with a moan. He continued his torturous steady push and pull, making your eyes roll into the back of your head as he dragged sloppy kisses up and down the column of your neck.

“Fuck, you feel even better than I imagined, angel. So tight and warm. Just dripping for me, baby.” He groaned into your neck.

You couldn’t stop the pornographic moans that slipped from your mouth. “J-just for you, M-Minnie. Only you…” You gasped.

“Fuck.” Those words must have made something inside him snap because he increased his speed and power tenfold. You belted out a loud, drawn out moan.

The air in the room was humid with your combined sweat as he plowed into you. He moved to prop himself up on his knees and grab a fistful of each of your ass cheeks so he could raise your body to meet his thrusts. You were clawing at the sheets and wrapping your legs around him as tight as you could as you continued to moan, whine, and shout out in pleasure.

All that could be heard was constant slapping of your ass cheeks against his thighs, your cries of bliss, and a mantra of ‘fuck’, ‘yes’, and ‘mine’ falling from his lips.

You felt your orgasm racing to the top at an embarrassingly fast rate and Minho barely even adjusted, but his very slight reposition to raise your legs just hit a spot inside you that had you screaming.

“FUCKFUCKFUCKYESYESYES! Pleaserightthere! Don’tstopdon’tstop! God YES!” You never knew it was possible for anything like that to come from your mouth, but nonetheless, the words rang out loud enough for the neighbors to hear. You were sobbing and running the words together from being so cockdumb in that moment and your whole body convulsed as you came all over again.

“Fuck. Shit, angel.” Minho croaked out. His thrusts became erratic and he basically growled as he stared down at where his cock was disappearing inside you as he came furiously.

As he pumped into you the last few times to ride both of you through your orgasms, he choked out a huge breath of air as if he had been holding it throughout his climax. He abruptly dropped down and laid his head on your chest, finally trying to catch his breath.

Your breathing matched his and you hugged his head as you ran your fingers through his slightly damp hair. Eventually, your breaths evened and you felt his softening cock start to slip out. Before it could cause a problem, he pulled back and eased it out of you, making you cringe from the soreness. He tied the condom and pecked your lips before heading to the bathroom to throw it away.

You swooned when he came back with a warm washcloth and cleaned up all your arousal that covered your crotch and thighs. “Oh god!” You sprung to sit up when you saw a tinge of red on the cloth and he gently pressed down on your shoulders to lay you down again. “I’m so sorry!”

He threw the washcloth into his laundry bin and then smoothed his hand over your hair with a smile. “Angel, that was nothing. I expected way more from your first time.” He kissed your forehead and you nodded meekly, finally relaxing your stiff muscles.

He pulled off the duvet and replaced it with a thick blanket, tucking you under the sheets before spreading the warm linen over you.

He crawled in next to you and wrapped you in his arms as he kissed you gingerly. He pulled back to properly look at you. “Did I hurt you at all?” He looked genuinely worried and your heart soared.

You smiled and shook your head. “Not any more than I had expected.”

He smiled and moved his hand to run his thumb over your cheek. “Are you still sore?”

You wiggled slightly to assess the damage. It felt a little achey, but nothing as bad as you had expected. “Maybe a little. But… I kind of like it.” You said with a blush, not able to look at him when you voiced your bold thoughts.

“Oh yeah?” You could hear his voice dripping with cockiness and you peered up at him shyly. You wanted to kiss the smirk off of his face. “My little angel has a bit of a dirty side to her, doesn’t she?” He squeezed you closer by your waist and you weakly punched his pec with a pout.

“Shut up…” You mumbled while trying to hide your red face in his chest.

You felt him rumble with laughter and he started drawing soothing patterns on your back with the pads of his fingertips. “Do you want to shower now or in the morning?” He asked lazily as he rested his chin on top of your head.

However, your answer was already clear when you hummed in response, already drifting off to dreamland from the sound of his steady heartbeat and the soothing effects of his touch.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Well good morning tardy pants, I trust you two had an eventful morning.” Jisung spoke up with a shit-eating grin from the other end of the table. Flashbacks of Minho passionately eating you out in the shower that morning only a few hours ago ran through your mind at Jisung’s greeting.

You and the boys had agreed to meet up for brunch the following day after you spent the night with Minho and you may have been… running a bit behind.

Minho stared daggers down at his roommate and the younger man just chuckled, knowing Minho had a soft spot for him and wouldn’t actually do anything about it. All you could do was sit down next to your brother with red-tipped ears and eyes on the ground.

“Oh I’m sure whatever it was must have been very important to them.” Chan stated with a stifled laugh.

“Ugh, I think I’m gonna be sick…” Changbin pulled his cap down further on his head and melted into the seat.

“Yah! Shut it, all of you!” Minho threatened as he sat down next to you and threw an arm over the back of your chair.

After the five of you had ordered and there was a lull in the conversation, Jisung suddenly spoke up, obviously addressing you with an ornery grin. “So tell us about last night, noona. You were looking pretty dolled up.” He winked and you covered your blazing face with your hands.

“SHUT UP, JISUNG.” Minho and Changin said in tandem and the younger man relented in a fit of giggles.

Minho rubbed your back consolingly and you knew this was going to be a looong day.

- - - - - - - - - -

After that, you and Minho were inseparable, completely incapable of keeping your hands off each other. You practically lived at his and Jisung’s apartment and besides Felix, Jisung had become one of your closest friends.

You eventually introduced Felix into the group and it was like he had belonged there all along. It was almost impossible to not like Felix so you weren’t necessarily surprised anyway. The only disturbing caveat was the fact that Felix was all over your brother. However, it was pretty entertaining watching Changbin get all flustered.

Ever since your dad died, you finally started to feel like a human being again.

One lazy night, you, Minho, and Jisung were lazing on the couch at their place watching anime and all day you kept catching Minho staring at you when you weren’t looking. When Jisung finally decided to go to bed (not without his mandatory goodnight hug), you instantly crawled onto Minho’s lap when the bedroom door shut.

He looked pleasantly surprised and he wrapped his arms around your waist from where you were straddling him. “Well hello there.” He said in a low voice, mostly masked by the television noise. “Don’t you think we should move to the bedroom for this? Or do you want to give Hannie a show?” He teasingly wiggled his brows.

Instead of answering, you grabbed his face and placed a heartfelt, yet chaste kiss on his lips. You bit your lip, debating whether you should say anything, but ultimately decided to go for it. “Is there something on your mind, Min? I know you’ve been looking at me funny today.”

“Me? Looking funny? Nonsense. I only ever look handsome.” He jokingly poised his chin up, but you weren’t having it. You narrowed your eyes and showed that you were unconvinced. He gave up and sighed. “Fine, I may or may not have something on my mind…”

When he didn’t elaborate, you were worried it was something about you. You looked down as you played with the collar of his shirt. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No!” He quickly raised a hand to cup your cheek. “Of course not! It’s just… Changbin talked to me and it’s had me thinking, that’s all.”

Now you were confused. “Did he say something about me? Oh my gosh, I’m gonna strangle that little–”

“No!” He cut your angry threat off with a boisterous laugh that slightly eased your anxiety. “No, nothing like that. He just… he told me about your dad… and everything you’ve gone through…” Your heart dropped. “And before you jump to conclusions, no, he wasn’t just talking shit. He wanted to… thank me.”

Your anger dissipated and you listened intently.

“He said that ever since we met… you started to become alive again. He said that you were living without purpose before and he wanted to… thank me… for bringing you back to life…” He looked at you with a crease in his brow and you smoothed over it with your thumb.

“Well, he’s right.” You reiterated. “I don’t think I would have ever regained my ability to be a normal person if you hadn’t pushed me to. He was right to thank you.”

He smiled sadly and shook his head. “That was all you, angel. Not me. The only person that can come back from something like that is yourself. And you did. I just happened to be along for the ride.” He teasingly pinched your cheek and you chuckled as you swat his hand away.

“Well, whether you like it or not, you were the one that forced me out of my comfort zone of only living in the land of books.”

“Smutty novels are your comfort zone?” Your blood ran cold and your jaw dropped.

“Wha– y-you–!”

“You seriously didn’t think I would look into what types of books my girl likes? What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?” He said with a cracked-up smile.

You scooted back on his lap and crossed your arms as you pouted off to the side. “Those aren’t the only books I read…” You grumbled.

He just laughed and grabbed your arms to put back around his neck, pulling you back closer by your waist again. “Okay. Okay. Whatever you say, naughty girl.” You glared at his taunting words until his face turned serious again. “You can thank me all you want, but don’t underestimate how strong you are. How strong you’ve been all these years. Because everything you’ve been through has made you the girl I love today. So if anyone should be grateful, it’s me.”

You felt a lump form in your throat and you felt all of the emotions of the past years crawl up to your watering eyes. You refused to let yourself cry. Not right now. So you crashed your lips to his in a searing kiss, trying to portray every ounce of your love with your lips.

You separated just to whisper against his lips. “I love you, Minho.”

A tear fell unbidden. “I love you too, my angel.”

________________________________________

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