#Casual touches and meaningful touches - all sorts of friendly touches that are a lot! Feels weird now! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prose-for-hire · 3 years

Text

Hopelessly devoted

Pairing: Faith x vamp!reader

Request: I was wondering if I could request something for a sort of ,,reformed'' vampire(theyve had their soul for a while) falling for either Oz or Faith and trying real hard to get on their good side? similar to that of spike I think only they arent as much of a creep abt it aojsbdis thanks

Requested by: Anon

Warning: Mention of killing in reader’s past.

A/N: There... might need to be a second part 💖

Hope was a concept you had always detested. It wasn’t tangible and it made people cling to things that often should have been long forgotten. Hope was something you had tried to remove from everyone’s hearts. Something that you detested more than the lives you had taken.

You had been around for some decades now. A lot of it was very similar. Human nature, for instance. They mistrusted you and for good reason. They could sense it although they did not know what the feeling was. The hair on the back of their neck would stand on end. Their heartbeats would quicken.

In the old days, this would excite you. Make you laugh even. The fear had been intoxicating. Like a fine seasoning. But now, it didn’t interest you. It just made you feel embarrassed.

You fought for your soul. Almost half a century ago now. You had come to terms with it, for the most part. Although, it wasn’t something you could get over in a night.

One thing, that had made your life brighter since was a sudden growing affection that had creeped up on you. For a Slayer.

It had given you a feeling inside. A small ember of something you hadn’t experienced long enough to name in the recent past. Something you hadn’t believed would be possible for someone like you. After all the ways you had tried to snuff the light from everyone else.

It was Faith. You were hopelessly devoted to her. In every sense. You would lay down your un-life for her. Commit every waking moment of yours to her. It was an unending, eternal affection that consumed every inch of you.

You hadn’t known what to do with it to begin with. How to express it. It soon became clear you would need to find a confidant as you couldn’t even begin to express these feelings to her. However, when you had bumped into Spike who you had known from the old days, he wasn’t much help.

For one, he was crying over Drusilla and completely drunk. Wasted out of his mind. The only advice that hadn’t been a slurred mess was when he advised you to watch her every movement until she wore down and gave you the time of day. Which, you had told him firmly that you wouldn’t be doing.

However, tonight, it did appear that this was what you were doing. She was walking through the graveyard alone and her scent had caught your attention as you walked through the streets looking for something to fill your time. Her natural scent was like a sweet perfume. It called to you. Sung heady notes of affection.

You had followed her to the graveyard. You weren’t skulking from the shadows. You weren’t prowling behind gravestones. You were just casually walking up to her. About to announce your presence.

What you didn’t realise was that she had been listening to music. Buffy had always warned her not to take her earphones to patrol but she trusted her instincts. And plus, she was so very bored without it. She often patrolled alone whereas Buffy got all her friends around her.

So, you were about to tap her on her shoulder and say hello when she swung around, taking you by the throat and slamming you against the closest mausoleum. You had squeaked in surprise and then subsequently coughed to try and cover it up as she did.

From nowhere she whipped a stake out and held it to your chest. Your eyes widened and your mouth opened slightly but no more sound came out. You just stood there, almost in awe of her as her hand clasped tight around your throat.

A thought came to mind, that you would at least be happy that she would be the last thing you saw before being damned to an eternal hell dimension.

“You wanna move that heart away from my stake?” She asked, when she finally registered that it was you.

“Sorry, I-I was just-” You stuttered as she moved away from the hold she had on you. You felt yourself move with her, trying to feel her touch for as long as possible.

“Following me? Actin’ on this massive jones you got for me?” She teased. She was joking but it wasn’t a joke to you. You looked away as she stepped back allowing you space. Your eyes had bulged in horror as you looked down, averting your gaze.

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help”

“Yeah, well, don’t need my own stalker” She warned and you looked so beyond embarrassed it almost hurt her. She wanted to take her words back but she knew you would notice if she did.

“No! N-no not stalking, just making sure that you were, um, okay. I sensed you and-”

“I’m kiddin’, man, don’t freak” She punched your arm in a friendly way and both of you looked at each other slightly awkwardly. You frowned for a moment before you began to smile. She enjoyed the way it made your features brighten and it instantly made her feel better for having spoken the way she had.

“Sorry, I’m not really used to modern humour, I kind of shut myself away after I got my soul… I’m getting used to it though, it was… funny!” You blurted all of this out really quickly before adding the part at the end, trying to make her feel better. Her brow was furrowing again.

She found this admittance endearing almost. She watched your lips as you spoke. She wanted to kiss you. Usually she would make a move. She could give a person a look and end up taking them home. But this meant so much more. With you. She found herself getting a little nervous around you, wanting to make a move but feeling as if she would be rejected. Laughed at, although you had never been like that.

She couldn’t express her feelings. Instead she made jokes about you liking her, trying to gauge your reaction. Which, of course was neutral. Your mental health was still fragile ever since your soul had returned and you couldn’t risk the emotional reaction you may get if she tore your heart from your chest and crushed it with her bare hands.

“I can go though, if it would make you more comfortable-” You insisted, all you wanted was for her to feel comfortable around you.

“No!” She shouted, cringing at the note of desperation she heard in her own voice, “Uh, no, it’s nice to see you y’know? B’s always there when we’re talkin’ now”

You nodded, having noticed this too. When you and Faith would talk when you were able to meet the others in the library, Buffy and the others would always have something for one of you to do on the opposite side of the room. Or just plant themselves into your conversation.

It embarrassed you, that these people could tell that you liked her so much. That they were trying to save Faith from you. Your cursed love for her. Your heart was hers but you understood that just because it was reserved that way, it didn’t mean she would want to choose it from the pile.

This, actually, wasn’t entirely true. That Buffy was ‘saving’ Faith from you. And in some sense, Buffy was trying to save you from Faith too. She knew exactly what it was like to fall and be in a relationship with a vampire. The slayer and vampire love was one she wouldn’t wish on her own enemy. Not even Faith.

You were both good people, Buffy was sure of it, and so she was trying to prevent the inevitable heartbreak that she could sense building between you.

The blonde slayer had been surprisingly accepting of you on the whole, even in your more demonic years you had been more about survival than torture. Plus, you hadn’t been cursed your soul had been sought out - so you weren’t seen as that much of a threat.

This kept happening after a while. The two of you crossing paths on patrol. Until you began to plan where to meet in the evenings rather than hoping to bump into the other. You would meet and patrol together. Both of you enjoying these moments, Faith needed the company. She had felt very lonely until you had begun to power through your worries and try to befriend her the way you had always wanted to.

She enjoyed that it was you though. Your company she was keeping. She would run your interactions through her mind as she sat in her motel room. Just as you would from your crypt.

When you first got to know each other, you had begun talking and found commonalities. Reasons to become fond of the other. You noticed how she didn’t flinch away from you when she first learned about your past the way many others had.

You had been getting on so well that one evening as you were paying for your blood at the butchers, it dawned on you. You hadn’t been doing anything particularly meaningful. Just staring at the jars of blood, salivating guiltily. Until you thought it.

I love Faith.

Such a simple thought, but with such a rush of feelings behind them. It began to descend on you at once after this. A waterfall that you were sure would never stop flowing. You adored her. The way she moved, the way she acted. The softer side you had caught from her on occasion. When you had made her feel comfortable enough to let it slip even for a second.

It was another evening, after you had agreed to meet near the gargoyle that looked a little bit like the Mayor. You walked beside the other, where you would both wish for a demon to occupy your time if you were alone, you began to hope that nobody would interrupt your time together.

You would laugh and swap stories. It was everything. You stole glances at the other when you thought they weren’t looking. Your hands became so close when you were walking that you wanted to reach between the space and entwine your fingers with hers.

Faith had some trouble with getting the hang of this fighting technique that Wesley and Giles had insisted every Slayer should know. Buffy could do it with her eyes closed, of course and Faith was feeling like the understudy again. She wanted to hone her skills like Buffy did but without the ancient old guy staring at her while she did.

As you walked through the exit of the cemetery, you steeled yourself and decided to be brave.

“I could help, if you like…” You offered with a smile. You were experienced at fighting after all.

“Yeah?”

“Sure, as long as it’s not on a sunny afternoon” You joked which made her laugh.

“Hey, you’re gettin’ it” She nodded in approval of your improved humour since you and her had been spending more time together. You grinned gleefully at the compliment and she walked ahead of you, hiding her own smile at the way your face brightened at her words. She loved seeing you smile. Even more so when she was the reason you were smiling.

She stepped into the road and turned to you, wanting to get another look. So she could picture it later, when she was cold and only had the broken tv for company. You were looking at each other and just smiling.

Your smile suddenly dropped. You panicked, sensing the danger before she did. In the past, it would have been a good feeling, the lick of terror. It snapped through the air like a whip. Struck your senses in a way that would elicit a human’s hair standing on end. Goosebumps rising.

Accidental death meant tragedy. Blood. It meant adrenaline. Easy prey. You had enjoyed the taste. You hated that you had enjoyed the taste.

But the feeling was still identifiable. The warning signals still there but it now only meant dread.

Especially when it came to her. You ran at Faith, just hoping you would get to her in time.

“Faith! Watch out!” You screamed.

You tackled her, moving her out of the way of the oncoming traffic. Her slayer senses hadn’t been quick enough for the van that was heading her way. She had been so distracted by the way your features were lit up by the moonlight.

All of the time you had been spending with each other, hidden away from the others. Not telling them that you were together so often. She held onto this, needing this. Needing you. You were sweet, which she hadn’t ever thought she could call a vampire. Even less she wouldn’t think she would have fallen for such a seemingly sweet person.

You couldn’t lose each other, not now you were just finding each other.

You landed, tumbling together onto the other side of the road. Just in time. You landed above her, almost pressed flat against her. You couldn’t help just staring. Holding yourself up slightly so you could see her face.

She was trying to catch up with what had happened, her breathing heavy. That had gone so fast, she could have been really hurt. But you had saved her. Protected her.

She had always prided herself on the way she was so independent. On how she could look out for herself. But the truth was, she wanted you to be there. She wanted to be allowed to fall into your arms, just as she would hold you in hers.

You looked at each other and time stopped. Your eyes flickered from hers to her lips, if she blinked she could have missed it. Her eyes were scanning your face. She loved the way you looked at her as if the entire world revolved around her. You were so close you could feel her breath on your face. All you wanted to do was lean in and kiss her. Catch your lips with hers. She shifted slightly and you thought she might move in, but when she didn’t the feeling of desperate yearning turned into concern.

Concern that she may reject you. That you would no longer get these stolen moments. These patrols where all that made your soul feel relaxed. Comfortable. As if your soul could only feel safe when hers was near. She meant too much. You pulled away, moving your gaze from her.

You got to your feet and heard her exhale. You couldn’t tell if it was from relief or because of the same tension you felt. You weren’t sure you would ever know. You had tried so hard to get onto her good side. To show her you wanted to be friendly. But, this was so much more. It meant too much.

You offered your hand, helping her up and she took it. As she got to her feet, your hands clutching hers. The touch lingered. Until she pulled away. You didn’t realise but she had been about to lean in. Press her lips to yours, the way she had been imagining so often recently. But you had moved away too quickly.

You both looked at each other for a moment in silence before Faith nodded her thanks. You didn’t speak, as if it would be too much after what had happened. Both of you had known that meant something. That this was new. You dared to hope that the other felt the same, but both were too nervous to say. Because rejection, the thought of losing the other. The company. The understanding. Was too great.

You wanted to be hers. Wanted to tell her what she meant to you. You wanted happiness… love. But not at the expense of her feelings should she not reciprocate. So you parted ways, as you always did just before sunrise. You went your way, she went hers.

Your souls, they lingered together like your touch had, not wanting to leave their fate. Maybe one day, they might be allowed to stay together. Once you both worked on prising open your hearts. Allowing the other in.

All you had left now was hope.

80 notes · View notes

costellos · 4 years

Text

author’s note: I like to think that this takes place shortly after the gang realizes that they’re in love! I also wanted to take a more harem route on this (bc this blog is all about self indulgence, duh) so there are more mentions of the boys getting jealoooous ꉂ(´艸`●) anywho, I had a blast writing this and I hope you have a blast reading it!!

❥ ┋ ❝ bucci gang & how you know that they’re in love!

bruno bucciarati.

tries not to make it obvious that he’s assigning more missions with you. Bucciarati tries to sprinkle in assignments where you work alone when he can; those days, he’ll tag along in the car just to spend a little more time with you. this infuriates Fugo to no end.

(you can’t help but notice Fugo being unusually snarky at most everything Bucciarati says during the ride.)

he starts to ask for your opinion on how to handle new missions. part of it is because he genuinely values your take, part of it is to spend time alone with you. ↳ “ah... I see. you make a valid point there. I’m glad that I came to you first, you always have such valuable insight.”

Bucciarati had always requested an update after a mission’s completion, but recently, those conversations seem to go longer. he asks more details about the mission, if there was anything interesting about it. if you mention you got hurt, he’ll ensure you get the best care Italy has to offer.

like a true gentleman, he always makes time to walk you home at night. you live on the opposite side of time from him, and despite your protests, he insists that it’s fine. ↳ “please, [Name]. I’d rather do this than wake up tomorrow to find that something happened to you.”

sometimes old ladies will giggle if they see you and Bucciarati on walks together. if you ask what they think is so funny, they’ll comment that it’s so nice to see him finally making time for relationships.

he’s smooth about brushing them off, however. he calls you a good friend, but subtly hints that he’s interested in entering the dating world.

unofficial first date: he takes his time walking you home after a meeting. casually suggests that you should walk along Naples’s port. after all, it’s a warm summer night. why waste it? he would let you carry the conversation since he loves hearing your voice, and would only chime in as he sees fit. you note that throughout the entire night, Bucciarati has a smile on his lips.

leone abbacchio.

obviously not as rude as usual. he’ll still make snippy comments at you as he sees fit, but he also offers praise (a concept that you’re not quite used to yet). with enough time, those snippy comments turn into teasing. ↳ “jesus, [Name], you want three shots? was Mista really that unbearable to partner with this week?”

once that happens, he’ll direct his comments to the others. he’s ruthless when it comes to insulting the others’ attempts at wooing you (especially if it’s Giorno). Narancia will be the first to object, calling him out on trying to impress you too.

he’ll just shrug when this happens. it’s not his fault that their motives are so apparent.

anyway, Abbacchio has always been the type to put the mission before anything else. but during a particularly rough stand battle, you notice that he made the extra effort to guarantee your safety. though you do try to confront him, he brushes it off. ↳ “we wouldn’t have been able to advance without you. fight harder next time so I don’t have to save your ass again.”

you can’t help but notice the slight pink on his cheeks. caught red-handed, it seems.

if you’re going on a mission by yourself, Abbacchio will take the time to stop you and wish you good luck. brief and straightforward, nothing too fancy.

he’s willing to do things if you ask. before he’d tell you to ask someone else, but now... he might scoff or sigh or do nothing at all, but he’ll still accept.

surprisingly, he becomes the most comfortable to be around when things get quiet. Abbacchio is a firm believer that strong relationships don’t need to have mindless chatter. if you don’t have anything to say, he won’t push it, and that’s okay. no awkward silences will come from him.

unofficial first date: he invites you back to his place after a meeting. it’s raining and he doesn’t live far. he would make you any drink you fancy, but would be especially amused if you requested alcohol. it’s a casual affair; talk a little, watch some TV if that’s your thing. would let you stay the night if you wanted to! he wouldn’t make it weird, though. he’d just make his bed for you while he takes the couch.

giorno giovanna.

he starts talking to you more than anyone else in the gang. you took Giorno as the kind of person who won’t speak unless spoken to during moments of peace, so to have him casually start conversation with you feels... odd. but not uncomfortable.

he’s not fond of fighting for your attention amongst the gang. hence, he tries to make small yet meaningful impressions on you. he’ll order your usual at Libeccio if you’re running late (you didn’t even tell him what it was, he picked up after countless meetings) or leave you your favorite dessert at your doorstep on your days off (he remembered it from an off-hand comment).

on that note, Giorno starts leaving little things around for you, such as a single flower on your desk. small gifts that he knows would make you happy, even if for a moment. he himself gets happy thinking about your smile.

he would compliment you if he found it appropriate (usually for your fighting), but now he compliments you on everything. just in quieter ways. ↳ “you coordinated this plan flawlessly, [Name]. I truly wonder if there’s anything you can’t do.”

surprisingly, he also starts teasing you. nothing major, he just starts being more friendly toward you. his nonchalant exterior melts for something more familiar. ↳ “you must really like the rain. that’s the third time this week you’ve forgotten an umbrella. it’s alright, though, I brought one for the both of us.”

he’s honestly a pro at handling Abbacchio’s accusations. he plays it cool, saying that you’ve both gotten closer lately. he emphasizes the “closer” part, though. it might be considered sadistic on his part, but he enjoys watching his superior get annoyed.

(which, of course, irritates Abbacchio a lot.)

unofficial first date: he asks you to accompany him to his campus; apparently his school has rare frog species in the bio labs and he needs to observe it “for reference.” walks you through the biology department and shares what he knows about each species present. he loves amusing you with neat little fun facts, but he loves seeing your face light up at the cute little creatures more.

guido mista.

he’s the first to compliment you. about anything, really. how well your new shirt fits you, how your skin looks a little brighter today. all of it is genuine, and all of it is to see you smile just from something that he said. Giorno comments that he’s being overbearing.

(he retaliates by saying that there’s no harm in being nice to another teammate. Mista tries to be nonchalant about it, but he’s actually embarrassed that he’s that easy to read.)

he’ll follow you around everywhere. if you say that you’re going to run to the corner store before the meeting starts, he’ll tag along. if you mention you’re going to Chiaia this weekend to go shopping, he’ll casually mention that he’s going there too and that you should meet up.

the Pistols start paying more attention to you. they’ll dance around your shoulders, play on your hands — anything to get your attention. Mista gets flustered when this happens and barks at them to come back. ↳ “oi, what the hell do you think you’re doing?! leave them alone!”

this rarely works, though.

(Mista never even gets the chance to confess that he loves you. the Pistols do it before he can. because of that, he would likely be the first to confess to you.)

he’s a sucker for pop culture. if he hasn’t watched it, he’ll tune in to any movie or TV show that you like. he’s desperate to get closer to you so there really isn’t a downside to this, even if he doesn’t like it. he’d then talk about it to you, discussing plot elements and whatnot. ↳ “whaaaa? okay, okay, okay. back up. so he purposely killed himself to force his kids to come together?”

unofficial first date: the most traditional out of the gang. he asks if you want to join him to watch a movie starring your favorite actor / actress. would pay for your ticket too, obviously. he tries to play it cool, though! just going as two friends.... yeah...... friends...... he won’t pull any funny business but he’d love to discuss your thoughts on the movie afterwards.

narancia ghirga.

Narancia is the most obvious about his feelings for you outside of Mista.

for one thing, he starts saving a seat for you next to him at Libeccio. Narancia gets defensive if anyone tries to take it. Bucciarati has to intervene by asking him to stop and let you sit wherever you want preferably next to Bucciarati himself.

likewise, he sits really close to you. like, shoulders-almost-touching close. he’d back away if you ask, however.

he’s bad at taking criticisms from the others (he would be the worst if it wasn’t for Fugo). if he gets called out by Bucciarati, he’ll sink in his seat and pout. if anyone else does it, he’ll challenge them and call them hypocrites. it’s an uncomfortable situation.

when that does happen, he’ll scoff and say that you should leave with him. ↳ “ugh, I can’t stand this place. c’mon, let’s go somewhere else.”

he’ll invite himself to your missions if he can beat Mista to it. insists that you need backup and that Aerosmith can guarantee your safety. after all, his stand is meant for detecting threats.

if he does manage to tag along, you notice that Narancia starts showing off during missions. not only does he fight more aggressively, he also has Aerosmith do all sorts of flashy moves.

he looks up to you so much. he sees you as a role model of sorts, often thinking what you would do in certain scenarios. it helps him rationalize situations and keep his cool under pressure. ↳ “okay. relax. what would [Name] do...?”

unofficial first date: he asks if you’d like to see something cool after shopping for snacks post-meeting. from there, he leads you to the rooftop of a nearby residential building. it’s a struggle to get up there since you have to climb an array of pipes and balconies to reach it, but he helps you up. it’s quiet on the roof, and you can peacefully talk about life with nothing but a couple sodas and the stars above you.

pannacotta fugo.

always volunteers to drive you to your missions. any more time with you is time well spent. Mista catches onto this quickly and will promptly tease him anytime Fugo offers a ride.

on that note, he gets really defensive if someone teases him about wanting to spend more time with you. hands down, he’s the worst at handling others calling him out. it might trigger an outburst regardless if they were joking or not.

oddly enough, however, he immediately relaxes if you so much as clasp his shoulder. part of it is that your touch is so gentle he can ease up. part of it is he’s embarrassed for losing control in front of you. he gets flustered afterwards. ↳ “I’m sorry you had to see me like that. let’s move on.”

he’s more patient with you than the others. he hates repeating himself, but you notice that he doesn’t seem to make an issue when it comes to you (much to Narancia’s chagrin).

if you’re going on a mission by yourself, Fugo makes the effort to stop you before you head out. he’d ask that you be careful and that if you need any help to let him know. however, he tries to cover that up and say that he knows you’re capable.

likewise, he’s a lot more doting on you now. he’s the first to check up on you following a mission. if you’re hurt, he wouldn’t hesitate to tend to you (not before chastising you). ↳ “tch. I told you to be more careful, and this is how you respond? you really are hopeless... but I’m glad that this cut isn’t anything major.”

he detests how the others act around you. how Mista and Narancia are always inviting themselves to your missions, how Bucciarati is quick to walk you back home, how cool Abbacchio is around you despite his own feelings... Fugo wishes he could be more forward with you, but he knows that’s just not who he is.

unofficial first date: he asks you to accompany him to the archives of a library. it’s for “research” he claims, to look up something relevant for the next mission. he would show you all the dumb records that the library contains. he loves sharing something so small with you! but he loves it even more when he can make you laugh. feeling something other than anger is an event he can only experience with you.

#bucci gang #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #golden wind #giorno giovanna #bruno bucciarati #leone abbacchio #guido mista #narancia ghirga #pannacotta fugo #headcanons #captainfishiebishie #special thanks to captainfishiebishie for reminding me of those prompt!#this was a challenging prompt to tackle but I'm satisfied with how it came out :^)#also props to anyone who knows what show I referenced in Mista's blurb.....#it's a Netflix original that I'm WEEPING over right now #toya whisks u away

374 notes · View notes

rainydaycafe · 3 years

Text

Bookstore Bargains: Candid Confessions

Previous chapter!

Summary: Bucky finds himself returning to the bookstore but his past continues to have an iron grip on the fleeting happiness he feels

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Original Female Character

Word Count: 1800 or so

Warnings: None! Unless you're against Bucky Barnes finding happiness and solace in a bookstore worker and literature

Requests are open for this series and any other one shot, blurb, or story you'd like written!

Emilia.

Emilia was her name, turns out.

He had asked for it the week after his first visit, returning to buy more books after burning through the five she had recommended to him, earning himself a grin he found himself willing to do just about anything to obtain again.

She had graduated from Boston University with a major in English literature, putting off graduate school when her aunt asked for her help running the store since she was getting up there in age.

However, as he walked back home with a few new books purchased with the employee discount for the third time in three weeks, he felt the guilt gnawing at him once again.

The same guilt that kept him far away from people, kept him far away enough to not care how they reacted to his past as Hydra’s best assassin because he wasn’t emotionally invested.

But this time it felt multiplied by 10 because he had been so excited, so grateful to find someone kind to speak to, someone calm enough to put him at ease even on his second time meeting her but she had no idea of the crimes he had committed.

The lives he had taken, the families he had demolished.

Sitting on the floor of his living room while a mindless Family Feud episode played, he thought about not telling her at all. Because if he didn’t tell her, well then this could develop into… something, right?

It had been well over 70 years since he had even contemplated becoming something to someone, that something being more than friendly and much more binding with all emotions concerned, but he wanted it.

He wanted to be selfish, dammit.

For once, he wanted to have someone to look forward to seeing, someone who didn’t give him sympathetic eyes when they saw his gloves and knew the truth, someone who wouldn’t give him a double glance when he lost his temper for a second.

He wanted to earn more of the soft blushes she gave him, to know what she was like when she was happy, sad, angry, sleepy, all of it.

It was slightly pathetic, but he felt the need to be the person who knew the other better than anyone else with a connection palpable from an outsider’s perspective. The pull that loneliness brought him was poignant in a situation like this.

There wasn’t any rational explanation for his affection for her, but he was also incredibly tired of questioning just about anything when it came to his life.

Maybe it was her calm demeanor, her pretty green eyes, or just this surreal pull he felt towards her, but he wanted it.

“It” being everything.

The way she could make him laugh and feel so unguarded, talked to him about current events and didn’t bat an eye when he didn’t know the most rudimentary of modern age slang or news.

Though the rational part of his mind told him that a relationship, any sort for that matter, couldn’t be built in the avoidance of 70 years worth of history because lying by omission was still lying.

A bloody, deadly, and dangerous history that he couldn’t find himself selfish enough to not allow her to be privy to.

Sure there was a small portion of himself that told him it would be okay to allow this to develop further if the feelings were mutual without telling her about anything, but he couldn’t bear the thought of having her then losing her because she suddenly finds out.

So he told her.

______________________

He told her that same week on a Thursday when the store was completely empty on an early Thursday morning.

From Steve, to the Howling Commandos, and how the Winter Soldier still felt like the most brutal reality there was on nightmare filled nights he couldn’t find solace within a bed and opted for having the stability of a floor beneath him

He felt like a small toddler following her around, telling her everything as she adjusted books here and there, nodding at the right times and maintaining eye contact when his voice shook enough to make him clear his throat in search of a pause.

Though there wasn’t a look of disgust as he told her about the pardon he had received with the help of Sam, instead she just gave him a soft smile.

“Okay,” Emilia told him, “Your past doesn’t define you, James. You are a victim, but that’s not all you are. You’re an entire person with an entire personality to develop, but that doesn’t change things with us, you’re still great to have around.

The relief on his face was so prominent she felt her eyes tear up a bit and she couldn’t help herself from pulling him into a tight hug, feeling him wrap his arms around her without hesitation holding on for dear life.

People didn’t touch Bucky like that.

In an intimate, meaningful way that made him feel warm inside.

Sure there were random pats on the back from Sam, small touches here and there but nothing where someone wanted to outright touch him and went out of their way to do it in a moment where he needed comfort.

Pulling away, he wouldn’t meet her eyes but she let him have his space until he spoke again.

“I couldn’t avoid telling you before this became-” He cut himself off with a nervous laugh, “Not that this will become something but I couldn’t withhold… truth from you.”

The happiness on her face was evident alongside the blush, and she felt her heart swell for this stranger who had popped into her bookstore out of the blue not too long ago and swept her off of her feet without knowing.

“Thank you for trusting me, James.”

Bucky nodded and found himself smiling despite the weight of the words he had spoken still hanging around him, “You’re kind of stuck with me at this point, I really like it here.” He told her as he leaned on the shelf behind him in a casual admittance of his attachment to her.

Emilia laughed and nodded, “You’re stuck with me too, I’m imprinting on you like a doe.” Which earned a laugh from Bucky who felt his own cheeks flush in a way he managed to hide as he feigned interest in the bookshelf behind Emilia, the energy between them nearly visible.

__________

Emilia had made him promise to come back the following day, presenting him with a small rectangular item with a proud grin painting her features from behind the counter.

“It’s my old iPod,” She explained, “I got you new earphones, but I downloaded a lot of music onto it so you can enjoy what we the youth call: music.”

Taking the small item in his hands, he noticed his gloves seemed so gross against it.

With a small amount of hesitation, he set down the iPod and began plucking at each of the gloved fingers until he pulled out his flesh hand followed by his metal one from the other one.

Glancing at her hesitantly, he saw as she looked at the black and gold hand but it wasn’t with disgust or discomfort, but more of awe.

“Can I touch it?” Emilia asked, hoping she wasn’t overstepping and instead was letting him know that she wasn’t uncomfortable with the arm.

Bucky’s face showed surprise, and he froze for half a second before he nodded and gently reached over the counter where she gently touched his arm as though she were afraid of hurting him rather than the other way around.

The metal was cool and smooth, sleek and meant for everyday use as well as in battle which should be as attractive as she found it.

Looking up at Bucky as she pulled on the fingers, she admitted she found just about everything about him attractive, but that wasn’t the moment to go about thinking about such things.

From his steel blue eyes, strong jawline dusted with just the slightest bit of stubble, and good Lord his broad shoulders and well worked physique really did it for her. But while he was physically very attractive, his personality was also to die for.

She had been a goner from the moment she had seen him come into the store and ask for her opinions. The way he was opening up, bringing out his personality where he was so funny and genuine, and allowed himself to be just the slightest bit sarcastic.

Her thing for him was becoming more and more prevalent every time she saw or even just thought about him, and her face felt warm as they made eye contact while she was holding what he felt was the most vulnerable part of him.

“I think your arm is cool.” She informed him as she let it go and he picked up the iPod again with a grin on his face.

Pushing herself onto the counter so she was able to look down and help him navigate, she watched as he scrolled through the artists with a nod because there were hundreds and hundreds.

“Which album do you recommend I listen to first?” Bucky asked and Emilia set herself back down on the floor with a pondering expression.

Rounding the counter, she stood next to him as he scrolled through the artists again and stopped him at the C’s.

Handing it over to her, he leaned over her shoulder as she clicked through the center dial and landed on Coldplay and went to their first album, Parachutes before she realized how close he was.

Close enough to where she could smell his rich cologne and a scent that can only ever belong to him.

Moving away as she felt her heart pound in her chest, she turned and handed it back to him, “I think you should listen to Coldplay’s entire discography, but Parachutes is a good way to start.” She informed him and Bucky nodded with a smile.

“Anything else?” He asked as he placed it in his pocket and she thought again before she shook her head and went back around the counter.

“No sir,” She said, “Just listen to what you feel inclined to listen to. There are plenty to pick from.”

Bucky nodded, telling her he had to go to therapy but that he would give her a full report regarding what he listened to the next time he saw her.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk outside of the bookstore, Bucky took in a deep breath of crisp late October air and felt it really reach the bottom of his lungs, an extra pep in his step as he put in the earphones and figured out how to play it.

Dr. Raynor was certainly going to have some questions regarding his positive mood, but he would deal with that just fine.

A/N: How do we feel about Bucky's characterization here? I hope we feel swell.

As always, my requests are open so send away because I'm on summer break and in dire need of some entertainment!

Much love.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x original female character #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes fluff #buckydeserveslove #tequierobucky #winter solider #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes one shot #james buchanan barnes #marvel #marvel fic

9 notes · View notes

riddledeep · 3 years

Photo

Hiccup’s Full Character Profile

Slight Riddleverse ‘fic spoilers. Your mileage may vary.

Note: Hiccup is Foop’s alternate personality; this is how he sees himself although in reality, he shares Foop’s body.

OVERVIEW

Full Name: Anti-Poof Nebula Anti-Fairywinkle-Anti-Cosma

Title(s): Count / Prince / Väika / Foop’s alternate personality

Preferred Form of Address: Hiccup (Childhood); Anti-Poof (Adulthood)

Alternate Forms of Address: Nebula / Foop / Angel / Puck / Pucky

Born: Autumn of the Frozen Planet

Zodiac: Love Breath

Birthday: November 13th (Humblefest)

Hometown: Luna’s Landing, High South Region - Raised in the Blue Castle near the Anti-Fairy capital city (when not raised in Abracatraz)

Came Into Adult Wings: 143,555 (Earlier than average)

Age During Frozen Timestream: Mentally 12

Age As of “Live For the Moment”: Mentally 22

Age As of Devil’s Backbone: Mentally 24

Race: Fae (Unseelie Court)

Species: Anti-Fairy

Ethnicity: Mostly common anti-fairy (Faeumbra fae); ¼ anti-will o’ the wisp (Faeumbra lepidoptera); ⅛ anti-brownie (Faeumbra mundus)

Nationality: Hy-Brasilian (Obtained with Foop’s birth); recognized as Jakokërian in Twilight Point (Hawthorn Haven)

Patron Bat: Tadarida brasiliensis (Mexican free-tailed bat)

Mindset: Pilot

Dissociative Identity Disorder: Officially, Foop and Hiccup (and Angel in Identity Theft) are multiple personalities in the same body, referred to collectively as “the Nebula system.” Foop is considered the original personality, and suffered a lot of trauma in his youth that he can’t quite recall, as those memories are blocked from him. Hiccup is the protector who slips in control when life stress becomes too much for Foop to handle- he holds the trauma memories, but doesn’t like to talk about it with anyone besides his therapist. In their younger years, they flipped back and forth rapidly. In their older years, they sometimes go for days at a time without the other personality switching back.

In his youth, Foop’s goal was to integrate Hiccup back into himself. He eventually gave up on this, and now strives to cooperate with Hiccup, whom he grudgingly considers a twin brother. The members of their immediate family, as well as their roommates at school, acknowledge Hiccup as a separate identity from Foop. Their extended family and most of the media have their doubts.

Hiccup firmly sees himself as his own person. He describes himself as being “stuck in Foop’s body” and frequently makes comments about how “This isn’t what he really looks like.” He suffers from body dysphoria and desperately hopes to master magic well enough to adjust his looks.

Counterparts: Poof/Foop (Equal core sync) > Poppy

Core: Searchlight

Core Color: Yellow

Core Trait: Vengeance-seeking

Primary Fairy: Sport-loving hippie celebrity

Fairy Refract: Total weeaboo

Stats:

Power: Below Average | Average | Above Average

Endurance: Below Average | Average | Above Average

Wisdom: Below Average | Average | Above Average

Adaptability: Below Average | Average | Above Average

Charisma: Below Average | Average | Above Average

Openness: Below Average | Average | Above Average

Conscientiousness: Below Average | Average | Above Average

Neuroticism: Below Average | Average | Above Average

Crown Lift: ~7 in

Fagiggly Color: Blue

Preferred Shapeshifting Form: Rat

Signature Tactic: _Name - _Description

Wand Type: Copper

Kept in sheath on left side of body; Hiccup struggles to use Foop’s wand as his own wand is a handicap booster

Family: Nobility

Creed: Quil sa jujin relniva quilla s’raju - “Calm the spirits and they will calm your storms.”

Caretaker Spirit: Her Glory Laelaps (The hound dog)_

Permanent Residence: Foop’s mind Blue Castle, Luna’s Landing; Anti-Fairy World

Lives in the school dorms for much of the year - Rooms with Poof, Sammy Sweetsparkle, and Finley Hammerfall

Also has a cell reserved for him at Abracatraz.

Occupation: “Spare to the heir”; part-time student; full-time guardian angel

BACKGROUND

Self-Perception: Friendly, helpful, and an all around good boy who looks after his younger brother(s) and strives to brighten everyone’s day.

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

MBTI: ISFP

Deadly Sin: Wrath

Heavenly Virtue: Diligence

Love Language: Physical touch

Reinforcers: The knowledge that he’s doing his job and helping Foop manage life; physical pleasure (Anything from hugs to sex)

Personality: _

Education: Sporadic. Attended classes at Spellementary School, Frederick Shinesworth Middle School, and Carl Poofypants High School whenever he randomly felt like it. Really doesn’t care about education at all, apart from his desire to master shapeshifting magic.

Spellementary School: _

Middle School: _Did well academically? Poorly? Sports?

High School: _

Further Education: _

Favorite Magic Subject: _

Least Favorite Magic Subject: _

Favorite Non-Magic Subject: _

Least Favorite Non-Magic Subject: _

History: _Anti-Poof is one of those kids who constantly has too much on his plate and yet never seems to have enough to do. He’s extremely efficient at getting things done (mainly achieved by cutting out his social life) and has a wide range of interests that he prefers to pursue alone. Such interests are further complicated by the fact that since his youth, Anti-Poof has always been afflicted with dissociative identity disorder, and flips regularly between his two personalities: Foop, the bitter and blunt one who harbors a fascination for biology and horticulture, and Hiccup, the gentle and giggly romantic who enjoys cooking and has a blatant streak of savagery.

Yet somehow, they seem to be getting along okay. Their love life is a mess even without including the politics, but since the two personalities have known each other all their lives, they’re used to compromise. One wonders how much longer it will be before their patience snaps.

Notable Likes:

Goals:

Beliefs:

Fears:

Has claustrophobia

That he’ll never be able to experience a loving romantic relationship

Upsets:

Having his identity squashed

Comforts: Sharing his feelings; open communication; Anti-Fairy culture

Indulgences: Frankly? Adult magazines, bat courtship videos, cuddling, kisses, and sex. Surprisingly he has no interest in sugar.

EXTERNAL

Verbal Notes: _

Language: Fluent in both Snobbish and Vatajasa

Physical Notes: Sort of well-built, but still very thin. He legitimately gets startled at the sight of his reflection, because Foop’s features don’t match his internal identity.

Handedness: Right-handed

Body Language: Hiccup frequently brings his hands together in front of his chest, making a small pyramid. He has a tendency to flap his hands downward, bounce on his toes, or lean all his weight on one leg. When he sits down, he’s more likely to sit on the arm of a couch and dangle a leg over the side than sit on a cushion. Those who know him well can usually tell when he’s fronting in the body by his relaxed posture.

Hair: Thick black curls that inherited Anti-Wanda’s sleekness rather than Anti-Cosmo’s scruffiness; in his mind, however, Hiccup sees himself as having short blue curls.

Teeth: Has a snaggletooth that pokes over bottom lip.

Wings: _

Iris Virus: Inherited

Scars: Scar on neck courtesy of Cavatina

Style: Hiccup favors a “modern college student” style, and while he doesn’t mind wearing Foop’s clothes, he prefers to wear his hoodie if he has the choice.

Regular Clothing: Usually found wearing Foop’s black undershirt, blue sweater vest, pointed shoes, and belt with a skull-shaped buckle.

Casual Clothing: If it’s an option, Hiccup can often be found lounging about in his purple sweatshirt.

Nightwear: _

Ceremonial Clothing: _

Other: _

Height: 3′6″ (Average for a fae; believes himself to be 3′0″)

Hiccup struggles with bulimia, and believes he is heavier than he is.

Hygiene: Hiccup takes pride in proper hygiene, as self-care is sort of his thing. _.

Morning Schedule: _

Typical Day Schedule: _

Evening Schedule: _

Sleep Schedule: _

PERSONAL

Relationship Status:

It makes Foop uncomfortable when he knows Hiccup is using his body to make-out or sleep with other people, but frankly, Hiccup doesn’t care that much. He does make an effort for Foop by blocking access to his awareness of the situation, and he tends to be very compliant when Foop wants to front in the body for the next several days, but he refuses to ignore his passions altogether. This body is the only one he’s got.

Hiccup isn’t normally into random flings and prefers committed partnerships; however, he makes an exception for extremely hot bad boys he isn’t sure he’ll see again.

During his adolescence he picks up a bad boy anti-fairy boyfriend, but continues working up the courage to ask Sammy Sweetsparkle out.

Due to being the alternate personality of a noble, Hiccup doesn’t expect to marry. However, he insists on being allowed to date whomever he wants, and prefers Foop to stay out of his business.

Ideal Relationship: Hiccup is looking for a committed partner he can openly share his feelings with, but also talk dirty with when he’s in that mood. He tends to be more submissive in his romantic relationships and would never date someone shorter or scrawnier than he is. He isn’t into nerds, and actually considers “brainy know-it-alls” to be a turn-off. While he does enjoy sex for the intimate bond it creates with a partner, his main goal is personal pleasure.

Sexuality: Romantically and sexually attracted to both Seelie and Unseelie Courters.

Attractiveness: _

Intimate History: Flirts with Finley on a regular basis, but mostly does it just because Finley’s there and doesn’t consider their relationship meaningful. Occasionally flirts with, kisses, and pairs with Anti-Marigold depending on his mood. Technically had a sexual experience with a damsel in his creche once, but considers his first “real” experience to be with a hot bad boy he crossed paths with during spring migration one year. He’s sexually active on a regular basis, and is generally always seeking out his next opportunity.

Turn-Ons: Bad boys, beefy muscles, and tight clothing. Especially all of the above. Hiccup is big on PDA and prefers when flirtation is very physical, such as holding hands, draping an arm over the shoulders, or softly smacking a behind. He’s undeniably the more adventurous and experimental personality here. He’s sensitive and somewhat guarded when out and about, and his true sensual colors come out during tender, private moments with a partner he loves. Ear scratches are his weakness.

Kiff-Tie: Not currently tied to a nature spirit, but it’s expected that he (Anti-Poof) will tie with Winni, the spirit who represents Breath on the Fairy zodiac, when High Count.

Honey-Lock Partner: Anti-Marigold Kelsia Anti-Goldenglow; Hiccup considers her “Foop’s girlfriend” and wouldn’t pursue her on his own, but if he switches into control when it’s clear she and Foop were being romantic and he’s in the mood, he won’t hesitate to flirt with her. I mean, if she’s into it, who is he to say no? Over the course of their lives, he will take over a few times during honey-lock nights when Foop is particularly distracted or stressed.

Father: Anti-Cosmo Julius Anti-Fairywinkle-Anti-Cosma (née Anti-Lunifly)

Grandfather: Anti-Robin Anti-Cosma

Grandmother: Anti-Florensa Anti-Lunifly

Uncle: Anti-Robin “Anti-Schnozmo” Anti-Lunifly

Cousins: Anti-Snowball Anti-Lunifly

Second Cousins: _

Notable Ancestors: Anti-Ky Anti-Braddocki (The first anti-brownie); distantly related to the von Strangle family

Mother: Anti-Wanda Venus Anti-Fairywinkle

Grandfather: Anti-Dusty Anti-Fairywinkle

Grandmother: Anti-Kylia Anti-Swiftspark

Aunt: Anti-Wendy Anti-Fairywinkle

Cousins: _

Notable Ancestors: Anti-Shylinda Anti-Coppertalon (The first High Countess of the Anti-Fairies); Anti-Ilisa Anti-Maddington (The first anti-will o’ the wisp)

Alternate Personality: Anti-Poof “Foop” Anti-Fairywinkle-Anti-Cosma

Met in youth

Brother: Anti-Dusty Smoky Anti-Fairywinkle-Anti-Cosma

Met at age 994

Boyfriend: Anti-Randon Jamie Anti-Feldspar

Met at age 159,202

Crush: Sammy Ryan Sweetsparkle

Met in youth

Other Important Relationships: Sees Cosmo and Wanda as his uncle and aunt, and Poof as his cousin. Not interested in Goldie himself, but knows Foop has a crush on her.

TRIVIA

Like all male Anti-Fairies, he has a scent gland on his head. He rubs his head against things he considers “his” (mostly his lovers). Hiccup tends to mark territory or people he likes without regard for the fact that he’s spreading Foop’s scent around.

Hates hanging upside-down.

APPEARANCES

Riddleverse Classic Timeline: Identity Theft > “Whenever Possible” > “Let’s Speak Vatajasa” > Hawthorn Haven > Devil’s Backbone

130 Prompts Timeline: “Hidden” > “It’s On Now!” > “Not All the Same” > “Lucky” > “Who Am I?”, “Repeat” > “Second Chance” > “Naptime” > “Teaming Up” > “Evolution Hopeful”, “Step Back” > “Take a Break” > “Shadow” > “Live For the Moment” > “Watch and Learn” > “Temptation” > “Mind Your Manners” > “All I Ever Wanted” > “Reality Doesn’t Work That Way” > “A Family Matter”, “No Refunds!” > “Whisper” > “Piggyback” > “Trance” > “Daddy’s Girl” > “Little Wonders” > “Bubbles” > “Revenge” > “Can’t Say Sorry” > “Not Like You” > “Reflection”

AU Appearances:

N/A

#RD Hiccup #RD canon characters #RD character ref #RD profiles #RD AntiFairy stuff

7 notes · View notes

blobbyclouds · 5 years

Note

Prince sidon general relationship headcanons plez

Thanks for the request! I’m utter trash for this prince (feeling lowkey exposed right now) so this turned out pretty long. Hope that’s all good!

Warnings: None!

Such a sweetheart? Honestly??? Just so romantic and caring?? (He’s precious af)

He’s always super considerate and makes sure that his s/o is safe and happy

Obviously, he is about as affectionate as it gets. He’ll always be scooping up his s/o to smother them in kisses, and will hold their hand whenever he can

Yeah, he carries them around a lot because it’s just impossible to resist their cuteness

He’s really gentle with them, especially since he has a habit of forgetting his own size and strength

But that doesn’t stop him from taking every chance he gets to hug, kiss, nuzzle, or cuddle them

He tends to be more affectionate in private because, as a prince, there is a certain expectation of his behavior in public. While he can be somewhat affectionate out in the open, he can only go so far before it’s deemed improper behavior for a prince

So when in private, he becomes the most cuddly sharky boy out there. When they cuddle, he tends to wrap himself around them and nuzzle or kiss the top of their head

And omg so many pet names, so many pet names

He just loves calling his s/o every cute name he knows, whether it be a more common one or one unique to the Zora, he thinks every single one fits his s/o

You better bet he loves being called those pet names too, just saying

And lowkey shows off around his s/o? It isn’t anything arrogant or over the top, but if his s/o happens to be around when he’s training he’ll make sure to put on a good show in case they’re watching (which they probably are)

He doesn’t mean anything bad by it. He just wants to prove to his s/o that’s he’s capable of protecting them okay, okay, it’s mainly because he dies for their praise, but he won’t admit that

He’s the type that likes to absolutely spoil his s/o with whatever their heart desires. As a prince, I’m sure he has plenty of resources and connections to just shower his s/o with random presents

And he’s most definitely the type that will have almost no backbone with his s/o because just wants to see them happy

That said, he will say no if he really doesn’t think what they want is good idea for them, but even that takes some effort from him he is such a sucker for puppy dog eyes

Kinda flirty too??? Not like super suave and sexy flirty, but more of that romantic and almost cheesy type of flirting. It’s a little over the top, but he’s absolutely genuine when he’s showering his s/o in compliments and saying how lucky he is to have them

And while he is usually the one to make the first moves, he can be flustered SO easily

Seriously, if they initiate any sort of affection or compliment him in any way he’s just a blushing puddle because who gave them the right to be that adorable HELP HIM

And like I mentioned earlier, he simply adores their praise. Whether it’s a casual compliment or something more meaningful and in depth, their praise means the world to him

He loves taking them out on dates around the Domain. He’s wandered around there many times himself and loves taking them to all the prettiest places he knows

This little ray of sunshine will always be there to cheer up his s/o when they’re feeling down

No matter what he has going on with the kingdom, he’ll make sure he’ll have at least a little time to talk to his s/o and comfort them

If they’re having a really rough time, he’ll let them rest on his lap while he’s dealing with various business matters of the kingdom. Even after they’ve fallen asleep on him, he’ll let them stay there at least a little while longer because he likes having them around

Overall, just so soft and cheerful when his s/o is sick or upset in any way

To add on to that bit about Sidon being quite busy with matters of the kingdom, he truly does do his best to set aside a decent amount of time for just them

There are times where he really doesn’t have the time to spend even a good twenty minutes with his s/o though. He’ll feel bad about it but he’ll make up for it with a nice date when he’s less busy

And he’s forever thankful if they help him with paperwork

Also, he doesn’t get jealous easily because he simply sees the best in everyone. He assumes that people are just being friendly towards his s/o because they’re a wonderful person, and nothing more

Granted, if someone is blatantly flirting with his s/o he’ll get at least a little jealous, probably standing closer to his s/o and giving whoever is flirting with them a certain look. It’s not a “I’m-going-to-beat-the-crap-out-of-you-if-you-don’t-shut-up” look and more of a “that-is-my-lover-you’re-flirting-with-so-i suggest-you-back-tf-off-:)” look. It’s not quite angry, but there is definitely something a little unsettling about it

His protectiveness is a whole different story to say the least

He loves his s/o to pieces and feels that it his job to take care of them. As a result, he tends to be a lot more protective than he actually needs to be

Having his s/o near any danger at all stresses him out a lot

With even the remotest sign of a threat, he’ll become super vigilant, probably standing closer to them and resting his hand on them. If he’s really worried, he’ll probably pick them up because there is no way he’s taking any chances when it comes to them

Also, Sidon is extremely, extremely hard on himself to be the best possible lover for his s/o. He loves them more than words can tell so any little mishap will have him feeling awful. While on the outside he’ll seem unaffected, simply smiling and laughing off whatever happened, he’s more upset than he lets on. He wants his s/o to have only the best, so when he doesn’t live up to his own expectations he feels like he’s letting them down

He just feels frustrated when he can’t be everything he wants to be for them

Whether it’s because he feels the need to live up to his sisters reputation, be a good enough prince for his kingdom, or just trying to prove that he’s good enough for his s/o, it’s a habit that has been visible since they first started dating

And he won’t feel better about whatever mishap occurred until he feels that he’s made up for it, most likely by giving them a little gift or being especially affectionate for awhile

But bigger mistakes are not handled so easily. This would be something like not being able to keep his s/o away from danger and having them get hurt

He would be really upset at himself for a while and would be constantly apologizing and trying to make it up to them. Even after they’ve assured him there was nothing he could’ve really done, he still feels absolutely terrible. However much he tries to hide it, they can quite clearly see that frustrated light in his eyes

Luckily, his s/o will always be there to comfort him and assure him that just being himself is enough for them. They don’t expect perfection, and love him for who he is

“Sidon, I’ve told you, mistakes happen. It’s normal. I don’t expect perfection,” they said, softly stroking the side of his face.

Sidon smiled faintly, leaning into their touch. “But that’s what you deserve,” he said, finally meeting their gaze.

#Loz: botw imagines #breath of the wild #Prince Sidon headcanons #Sidon x reader #botw hcs #general relationship #uuuummm don’t really know what happened there at the end #but oof that turned out long

528 notes · View notes

afewmarvelousthoughts · 5 years

Text

From The Heart

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: It’s your first Valentine’s Day together and Bucky is beyond stressed about how to make it a memorable one.

Warnings: None. Just fluff.

A/N: While I may not be the biggest Valentine’s Day person I am big on loving those around me and meaningful gestures. SO. Here’s some sweet V-Day fluff from my heart to all of you lovelies. I love you all dearly!

(Sorry for the double notification tag list pumpkins. I posted this to the wrong place first.)

Bucky gapes, morosely at the endless selection of flowers before him. Daisies, tulips, chrysanthemums, irises, of course, roses. Some bouquets have these odd little plants the shop owner called succulents, others have candy or even small bottles of booze tucked into the foliage. None of them seem right.

His hands feel clammy, heart either lodged in his throat or floating in his stomach from moment to moment. All of which is laughable. He was a soldier, an assassin, had killed more people then he cared to think of… all with a fraction of the anxiety he feels right now. This is what you do to him though.

Every time you laugh he feels like he can’t hear anything else. Your smile makes the whole world fall away. When you touch him… His heart is back in his throat.

It doesn’t help that every shop he’s been in is packed to bursting with people. He’s getting better at being in public. In fact, if you or Steve is with him he almost feels like his old self, or… something close to it. But this was something he told Steve he wanted to do on his own, something for you. It was Valentine’s Day after all, and you were supposed to get your girl flowers on Valentine’s Day. He’s regretting not having him come along.

Someone bumps hard into him in the tight space and he feels his heart rate tick up a little too high. Left hand flexing into a hard fist. He isn’t worried about hurting anyone. He just doesn’t want to go into a panic… hates the disorientation that follows… quickly he presses through the crowd in the shop to the sidewalk. It’s Manhattan, so it’s not like there’s not a bustle of bodies out here too, but at least the air doesn’t smell like impossible decisions.

“Ya know,” Bucky jumps a bit at the sound of Wilson’s voice. “I don’t know that flowers are her thing.”

“Are you following me?” Bucky feels his pride tingle. Did Steve have Sam tag him? Did he not think Bucky could handle this?

“Hell no,” Wilson laughs. “Well… sort of.” He holds up a bouquet in his hand that Bucky hadn’t noticed. Had that been a weapon… he pushes the thought from his head. Wilson is a friend. Friend’s don’t have to be checked for weapons.

“I saw you at that place off 33rd when I was getting these. You seemed… like you were struggling a bit so I thought I’d come by and give you some friendly advice.” The shop on 33rd had been the last shop he’d been at before this one… at least Wilson thought this was only the second shop he’d gone to today.

“I was that obvious huh?” Bucky forces a smile and tugs at his short ponytail.

Wilson grabs his shoulder, “Yeah. But that’s alright man. Happens to the best of us.”

Bucky huffs out a mirthless laugh, “I just… want to get Y/N something nice? I don’t know if 1943 nice is the same as 21st century nice.” Wilson laughs and lays an arm across Bucky’s shoulders, tugging him down the block to a little coffee shop.

Each of them gets a coffee and sits outside their cups sending clouds up into the crisp February air.

“Look, you’re overthinking this.” Wilson takes a long, grateful sip, “You’ve got a damn good woman there, Buck. Chances are she’ll just be happy to spend a night with you that doesn’t end with you both picking gunpowder from under your nails.”

He’s not wrong. Still… “I know. But,” Bucky stares into the swirl of steam from his mug, “I wanna make it special I guess. It’s our first Valentine’s…”

Wilson throws his head back in a good-natured laugh, “Who the hell would have thought you were such a romantic Barnes?!” Bucky sneers and throws a balled up napkin at his friend.

“Dick.”

“Woo,” Wilson dabs his eyes with the napkin, taking a deep breath to swallow his giggles. “Alright, alright. Flowers are nothing special,” Bucky eyes the bouquet on the table. “Hey, these are for someone I’ve known for two weeks man. Not sayin’ she’s not great but what Y/N and you have… that’s on another level.” Bucky feels his heart squeeze a bit.

“Hmm…” Wilson sips his coffee, a pensive look on his face. “Alright. What’s something you used to love doing? Before all the bullshit, before the war, when you were…”

“Normal?” Bucky almost spits the word.

“I was gonna say less of a pain in the ass but sure, normal works,” Wilson gives him a warm smile. “Come on. What was something that made you happy?”

Bucky wasn’t expecting this question and it throws him more than he’d like to admit. He busies himself with his coffee while he sorts through his sometimes fragmented memories. There is one place…

“I liked the Boardwalk… Coney Island.” He stares off into the middle distance as he tries to bring it all into focus, “Steve and I would go a lot, I’d take my sisters or even dates. I’d go by myself too when I wanted to disappear for a little while, just watch the water and write…”

When he comes back to himself Wilson has a soft smile on his face. “Well, there ya go man. Take her there.”

Bucky scoffs, “Isn’t that lame?” He drinks his coffee to stall, “Plus the park is closed, it’s off season in the winter.”

Wilson rolls his eyes, “Dude, you’re a fucking Avenger now. A hundred bucks that in one phone call you could have all access to the park.”

“I’ll take that bet.” Wilson whips out his phone and begins typing, “What’re you doing?”

“Making the easiest $100 of my life, Barnes.”

In less than an hour, Bucky finds himself at an ATM with a self satisfied Wilson at his side pulling out the $100 he owes him.

Wilson smirks as he tucks the twenties into his jeans, “May upgrade this bouquet after that winfall.” He winks. “Seriously man, have fun tonight. Don’t overthink it. You already got the girl.”

“Yeah yeah,” Bucky yells over his shoulder. He did have the girl. But he really wanted to keep her too… Once more the nerves set in.

A few hours ago he texted you to wear something warm and casual and be ready by 7pm.

In the elevator, he tugs at his ponytail trying to get his heart to settle in his chest. Instead of flowers he got two bottles of wine Pepper assured him were good and some things he knows you like. Dark chocolate, good cheese, crackers, some charcuterie. Kind of a picnic… that you’d have in an empty amusement park… in the middle of February… in New York... Damn you Wilson.

The door slides open to your apartment and he breathes in the familiar scent. Really it’s been feeling more like home than his own place for the last few months.

“One second,” you call from the bedroom. “Sorry I would be ready but I was helping Tony with something for Pepper and lost track of time.”

“It’s fine,” he sets the basket down on the coffee table and perches stiffly on the edge of the couch. “We don’t have to rush.” Or… go at all...

“Honestly, you kind of surprised me. Didn’t think you were the Valentine type.”

His foot begins to bounce, “I mean we don’t have to do anything if that’s not your thing.”

“Nah,” you call out, “You peaked my interest with that vague text.” He stares at his hands. “And the... picnic basket?”

His eyes shoot up and take you in. You look simply stunning to him, even though you’re bundled up in an oversized chunky sweater, kneehigh leather boots, skinny jeans, and a large scarf. Really it’s your smile that stops him cold. How in the hell were you with him…?

“You look amazing,” he manages to say despite the storm in his head.

“You always say that,” he stands and pulls you in for a kiss. Your lips are painted with that red lipstick that never comes off and you taste like magic.

“Because it’s always true.” You roll your eyes at him and pull away to lift up the lid on the basket. He swiftly holds it down.

“Come on, you’ll ruin the surprise,” he sounds far more confident than he feels.

“Fine, Romeo. I’ll play along.”

Tony had lent him one of his lowerkey sports cars. A matte black Audi, even though he had tried to force the cherry red Corvette on him, insisting it was far more romantic.

He felt relatively together… until you got into Brooklyn. Being back was always weird. It felt like he was always trying to force pieces of two different puzzles together. The Brooklyn he remembered was still there but then again… not. However, when the sight of the lights come into view he’s strangely comforted. Not everything changed.

When he pulls up to the park you squint at him, a smile on your lips. “What are we-”

“What happened to playing along?” You shake your head and let him open your door, something that had been a point of contention between the two of you in the past.

He gets the basket from the trunk and holds his right, gloved hand out to you. Happily you take it and he leads the way.

The boardwalk is quiet even though it’s open, likely due to the biting cold. But the bright lights of the park seem all the brighter in the cold. As he walks toward the entrance you stop.

“Wait, Bucky the park is closed…” You look worried, like he’s about to be disappointed.

He smiles, “Not for us, doll. It’s ours tonight.”

“Seriously?” You’re beaming at him and all his concerns from earlier fall away.

“Yup.”

A park attendant calls out, “Mr. Barnes?”

“That’s me,” Bucky feels strangely warm inside at hearing his name.

“We’re ready for you both whenever.”

“Oh, you better win me a bear, Barnes.” You plant a kiss on his cheek and tug him in the direction of the lights as he laughs.

Once inside music starts. Not music you’d hear now… His music. Smack in the middle of Luna Park and Deno’s a tent has been set up and a full brass band is playing, speakers sending the sound throughout the park. What a Tony Stark thing to do. As over the top as it is Bucky can’t help but feel a little emotional.

“Oh, Bucky,” you look enchanted.

“Come on, I’ve got a bear to win.”

The two of you ride the Cyclone four times, kiss at the top of the Wonder Wheel, have an inordinate amount of fun slamming into one another in the bumper cars, and make it a point to get on every ride at least once. You insist that he has an unfair advantage in the shooting games so you blindfold him with your scarf. He still wins you a bear.

Finally, you insist to know what’s in the basket. You both retrieve it from the band’s tent and he leads you out to the boardwalk. The lights from Luna Park illuminating everything in colors, the sound of the ocean still as soothing to him now as it had been over half a century ago.

He straddles one of the backless benches and motions for you to sit across from him as he pulls everything out. Each item seems to make your smile brighter. He pops a bottle of wine and just hands the whole thing to you shrugging.

“Seemed silly to bring glasses.”

You laugh, “I’m definitely not too classy to drink overpriced wine from the bottle.”

He opens his own and holds it up, “Happy Valentine’s, doll.”

“Happy Valentine’s,” you echo and your bottles tink together.

Odd but enjoyable picnic complete, you both repack the basket and walk down the boardwalk hand in hand, the sound of the band echoing. It’s pretty if not a touch haunting.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you lean your head into his shoulder as you walk. “This was amazing.”

“Really?”

You stop and stare at him, incredulous. “Of course! We had a whole amusement park to ourselves, a picnic, come on this beats flowers and dinner hands down.”

He can’t help but laugh. “Wilson isn’t going to let me live this down.” You raise your brows. “He told me to take you some place that made me happy, that flowers weren’t you… this place always made me happy… and, well you make me happy.” A particularly upbeat song picks up, “The band though…”

“Tony,” you both say in unison laughing.

He sets the basket down and spins you into him. “I love you, Y/N,” he purrs before kissing you breathless.

“I love you too,” you manage once he pulls away.

“May I have this dance,” his hands moving to clasp yours.

“Always, Bucky. Always.”

@mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @buckysstar @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @handplucked @jewelofwinter

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky feels #valentines day

285 notes · View notes

shipme · 6 years

Text

Dating Chanyeol would include

A/N: This idea was requested by @luna208 a while ago, but I finally found the time to type it on my computer! -Admin Whiger

Meeting him

you were running down the streets, being ultra-late for an appointment and then you received a call: you searched for your phone, getting distracted and BAM, you smashed into someone

not being able to see in front of you after the shock (probably should have eaten this morning)

Chanyeol completely put-off by the accident: what was he supposed to do?

realizing that you aren’t getting off the ground, even after he tries to call out to you, so he dials the ambulance number

you whimper and he’s immediately all around you, asking you questions Are you okay Miss? Can you hear me? Do you see everything? Can you count my fingers? you’re still in a sort of fog so half of the questions don’t register and the other half just makes your head spin

Chanyeol waiting for the ambulance to come, and being taken in with you as he doesn’t want to let you alone

you feel better soon after, but Chanyeol doesn’t let you go without having you entering your contact in his phone as he still worries

Being friends

he actually really checks up on you, and you’re baffled he remembered you exist? You just expected him to have done this by accident?

you just basically answer by asking him how he feels as well

and surprisingly, it doesn’t feel that awkward: he even offers you to meet you at a café so you can get to know him

you can’t decline such an offer (or well, you could but I can’t because I’m addicted to coffee so just play along with me) and that’s how you find yourself in a place you don’t know, ready to meet a stranger

you arrive right on time. But he doesn’t. You’re starting to worry because “hey he might have left me on my own because we all know such gentlemen don’t exist and this was really shady anyway”, and then you receive a message informing you he was running late at work but he didn’t forget you

you just play some games on your phone while waiting, declining the time someone comes and ask if you want to drink because there’s no way he comes and sees you casually sipping on a drink as you got tired of waiting

you’re really immersed in that game when there’s a loud clank as someone settles drink in front of you and plank himself on the chair just in front of you

you ease into a smile as you recognize the boy who saved you -aka Chanyeol

you say hi to him, thank him for the drink, and immediately start sipping on it because you suddenly feel very shy

Chanyeol breaks the silence by asking you if you enjoy what you drink with a worried tone and you both start randomly speaking about your favorite drinks and it just derivates from there

the thing that put an end to the convo was your phone ringing because your appointment had been rescheduled and you could have your interview in fifteen minutes, and it’s at the other end of the city

so you immediately start smiling wide and then it just turns down because there is NO WAY you make it on time

Then, Chanyeol asks what is wrong, and when you expose the problem, he asks you if you’d want him to drive you there? and you’re like, is he even real?

being overly stressed during the whole ride because Chanyeol just seems to speed too much and you haven’t got the right clothes on so you won’t look professional enough… And Chanyeol just put on some music to get you to destress

Next, the collaboration between EXO Chanyeol and Punch

BAM, TALKING ABOUT STRESS?

Trying to discreetly double-check Chanyeol because now, you’re sure you have seen his face somewhere but apparently, being discreet isn’t part of your outlet

Shy Chanyeol who doesn’t really know what to say and tries to escape your attention so you don’t say anything because you’re not gonna force him

so it surprises you when he clears his voice a bit and explains to you that yes, he is THAT Chanyeol

silence

SILENCE  and then you just shrug with a “ah okay, nice to know” and you focus back on being a total anxiety wreck

And then, Chanyeol decides that now that you know, he can distract you by raping. Which works pretty well.

“We’ve arrived” and you just stay frozen on the spot before slowly moving with the invitation of Chanyeol

You’re in the elevator when your phones ring New Message from Chanyeol: You’ve got that power! which makes you laugh, followed by a “keep in touch”

it takes a whole week but you learn that you have been selected for the job!!!!! and you text your family, your best friend, AND Chanyeol

and he tells you that it’s the special occasion to go to a bar and share some drinks

but you’re really surprised when you arrive at the destination he indicated and you find yourself surrounded with A LOT MORE PEOPLE than Chanyeol

sticking to Chanyeol’s side because you’re not sure how to interact with everyone (they just seem so impressive and anyway, you can’t seem to remember all the names)

dying inside when you finally go out only to be invited to a karaoke and you know you can’t refuse so you go along with it but you just feel bad

still, you spend a very good moment (you end up singing Likey with Sehun, and it’s a real sight to see)

Starting dating

everyone in the group already accepted you because you’ve been seeing them a lot as you were close to Chanyeol and he likes to bring you around

they probably called you when they couldn’t find Chanyeol because that meant that he was hanging out with you and it was quicker than checking up on all his locations

you two had your infamous movie nights each week, which included the both of you lying down on the sofa, half-asleep, with Chanyeol playing with your hair

but you only were friends: you even invited some of the guys to tag along sometimes but soon denied all access to Chen and Sehun, they would be teasing you all night. Then, you also banished Baekhyun because he'll be whining that you were gonna be the end of ChanBaek and it would break the heart of millions (his first)

sometimes wondering if you want to be more than a friend with Chanyeol, but being afraid to lose all contact because of this

and Chanyeol is also worrying (don’t tell me he isn’t a worrywart), and he’ll probably talk about his feelings to Suho and the SM because he doesn’t want to make a faux-pas and realise that even if he musters up the course to ask you out, there’s a probably you two won’t be allowed to date

on one of your usual movie nights, you go to his place but there isn’t any light on (he gave you a key) and you’re panicking? Because you can’t find him, he hasn’t left a message behind, and he isn’t picking up his phone?

Contacting is members only to know that he still is at the headquarters

so you wait it out by wandering aimlessly in his house, where you find his computer turned on with some new songs displayed

and really, who could blame you when you click on those tracks and get lost in Chanyeol’s voice before focusing on the lyrics and then you feel strangely sad because he just talks about his feelings for someone and even if you haven’t confesses, you’re quite mad that he hasn’t talked to you about that person

when Chanyeol enters his house and he hears that music playing, he knows that he’s screwed because well, you just heard what he created to ask you out so there’s no way he can pass it off as it’s just very friendly

when he opens the door, he is met with a frown “HoW cOmE yOu HaVeN’t ToLd Me YoU hAvE fEeLiNgS fOr SoMeOnE?” and then, he stares at you before a smile paints on his lips and he chuckles

and you’re like “DiD yOu JuSt ChUcKlE aT mY fAcE PARK CHANYEOL” and that’s when he closes the gap between you two and kisses you

there’s a beat of awkwardness and you don’t even react to the kiss at first because you’re caught off guard

so, instead of that, you take a hold of him and lock him in your arms so he knows you didn’t intend to reject him

Being a couple

First, Sehun had to redistribute all the money the boys had bet on you

on daily basis, it hadn’t really changed anyway

except the teasing: you didn’t know you could want to hit someone as much as that before being confronted to some (CHEN) EXO members

sometimes having the impression that Baekhyun came along with the Chanyeol’s package “Hey, I decided to buy those Disney tickets but Baekhyun was being me and I know he was alone on that day soooo…” #thirdwheeling

Chanyeol teasing you with his height and you being pouty because even when you tip-toes, you can’t kiss him (so you found that new idea of kicking his gently in his knees so that he bent down and was the ideal height)

sometimes, you’ll jokingly complain to Baekhyun about the fact that Chanyeol is too much of a hassle because of his height and then, when Chanyeol finds out, you’re in for one hell of a night (I DON’T WRITE SMUT so I leave that part up for your imagination, but just remember that this person also have Zootopia’s bedsheets)

being the kind of couple to have very meaningful souvenirs together, and always having matching sets of jewelry because you prefer to be discreet about it

fighting is absolutely awful for the both of you: it happens sometimes, for petty reasons and that leaves you two infuriated with each other: Chanyeol probably leaves before doing something he could regret, and you leave the place because you want to take a breath

then, you don’t talk for a few days and it’s either you or him that goes back to the other because you just feel very saddened that you aren’t talking anymore, and the both of you will apologize

when in huge fights, you two will probably come to the other to expose his point of view calmly because sadly, all problems cannot be escaped

after 3 years of dating (and rough experiences), you finally decide to live together: this can be stressing but there is nothing that can compare to going to sleep encircled in Chanyeol’s arms

Chanyeol is very supportive of you (you also return the gesture, and you always cheer him up and give him your full appreciation) and you’re really a supportive couple

he writes a song dedicated to you and sings it for the first time during a concert on the day of your anniversary and you just starts weeping and all the EXO-L are trying to comfort you, and everyone just cheers for you two because everyone can see the love flowing

you realize later on that fancies had been taken and you both get real shy overtime you come upon one, Chanyeol blushes and you bury yourself in his arms but this is probably one of your favorite souvenirs

56 notes · View notes

xloveyouanywayx · 6 years

Text

Day 2

I woke up this morning feeling sad but I couldn’t cry. I wish I could, I just feel empty. My chest is heavy and my throat is tight and closed. I feel like I’m choking on sobs that just won’t come out.

I was doing yoga and thoughts of you kept popping up. I don’t know how or why. They didn’t even relate to anything really. I saw myself walking to the Sugarhouse park for lunch. I saw the little museum where we stopped during our 3-day weekend and where we picked up maps. The rest, I don’t really remember. They are just fleeting visions of the past and I can’t barely hold on to them.

Then you sent me a snapchat. I heard the ding and was convinced it was Scotty. I was expecting a picture of his new-built shelves. I was thinking about how I could respond in a friendly way without engaging in a conversation or getting him confused. But it turned out to be you and seeing your name just made me cry. It felt good to cry. I just can’t understand why you would reach out like this. Are you trying to tell me that you miss me or are you trying to act like nothing happened? It hurt to see you reaching out because I’m trying to stay away and you’re not helping. But I’m not strong enough yet to push you away. And that picture, it confused me. Clean-shaved face for the first time in seven years. Why? Why would you need to shave? Is it like a new haircut, a way to feel different? I couldn’t help but noticing that you had missed a spot on your right cheek. I also noticed your eyes and your smile. The smile was too big to be real and your eyes looked more in pain than happy. Or maybe I just saw what I wanted to see. I didn’t respond. What could I have sent you anyway? At the time, I felt and looked like shit. I could have sent you a picture of me crying, asking why you keep torturing me. But I didn’t want to engage. And I didn’t want to push you away.

I had my second lecture today and I wore my glasses in hopes of hiding the bags under my eyes. I don’t know if I did a good job. It felt weird, uncomfortable.

During the class, I could also feel my heart beating fast so I tried to measure it. I counted 88 beats per minute but I might have miscounted a little. The average for a woman my age is between 66 and 69. I was definitely over.

How are you doing ok? How isn’t your heart broken in millions of pieces like mine? How is this fair? Were you so unhappy that now you are finally relieved? Are you relieved? Did this make your life easier? Why did I go on your Instagram to see what you had liked? Why would I hurt myself like this? Because all I see is that life continues and when I feel like I’m stuck, it is just overwhelming. It almost makes me want to reach out, just to check that you are miserable too. But I can’t. I shouldn’t.

I wish you would listen to Dodie’s songs and to the Head to Heart podcasts. I think they would help.

This episode 3 is on trauma. They say that traumas are wounds left inside our hearts that keep us from leaving in wholeness. When you have an unhealed wound from your past, you tend to react like you would have then. Isn’t that what you experienced when these strangers insulted you? Or when Rachel threatens to abandon you and turn your friends against you? It is not your adult self making the decision then, but the twelve year-old boy who was bullied and just wanted for the world to love him. They divide it in two. Trauma A is when you didn’t get what you needed. In Your case, I’m thinking protection. From the bullies. For me, I’m thinking peace. In my home, I mean. It was always so tense and on the edge. I wish we could have had some quiet and safe times. They say that we should ask ourselves what’s the theme of our pain? What do we keep attracting? What do we use to numb the pain? Are you attracting rejection? Am I attracting abuse? Facing it requires accepting the conflict and the hurt, facing it. Trauma B relates to the things that shouldn’t have happened to you that did. For you, it for sure is the bullying. For me, I’m not really sure. I don’t know that I have experienced anything of the sort. They say that fixing the trauma is on us, not on the perpetrators. They say that we use coping mechanisms to survive the pain and that dividing and partitioning life into pain and function helps in the short term but that the coping mechanisms are only temporary and don’t heal the wounds. When not addressed, the trauma builds up a belief system that attracts more of the same trauma. The trauma that meant to be destructive, if not healed, comes out as destructive.

In the podcast, they talk about finding the pain pattern to understand what creates it and avoid repeating it. I thought about it a lot. For me the pattern is always the same. I get into a relationship, romantic or not, and get invested 100%. The person becomes my world and I give them everything I have. I plan my life around them and make myself completely available for them. Maybe I’m afraid they’re going to stop loving me. I anticipate their every move and do everything I can to please them. As a result, they push and push, and I give and give, until I’m about to break. It’s then only a question of opportunity. I don’t walk away first but when a moment comes that allows me not to come back, then I don’t. I end up hurt and feeling betrayed while the other person is left wondering what happened between us. What created this pattern? I’m not really sure. I guess part of it comes from my dad, and how afraid I was of him. Always walking on eggshells always worried he would get mad at me. I think it has lead me to anticipate people’s needs and to prioritize them before mine. If they’re happy, then everything will be ok. But it’s not true, because many of the things I end up doing, accepting, compromising, make me truly unhappy and I carry this unhappiness and bitterness with me until the moment comes when I can leave them and run away from the pain. Part of it probably also comes from being so close with my mom, so fusional in our relationship. She has been there for me at all times and has been my closest friend my whole life. I share with her everything. I don’t believe I have any secret for her. But this probably means that I approach my meaningful relationship like I have experienced my life with my mother. While your mother loves you unconditionally though, most people don’t. They tend to feel overwhelmed by the attention, the care, and the expectations.

You sent me another snap this afternoon, and I think it was a continuation of the first one since you were wearing a gas mask. I guess you needed to shave for it to be useful. Receiving it made me pretty upset. I was trying to be ok, I was holding on. It was weird, I couldn’t cry, but I could feel the pain inside. I guess your snap brought up the anger, the frustration, and the pain and allowed me to cry; for that it was good. I almost messaged you asking why you were not leaving me alone to heal but I couldn’t. For the first time however, you were online at the same time as I was. You came to the meeting place. So I said hi. I wanted to see what you wanted to say, why you were reaching out so much. I didn’t know if it meant you were ok and acting like nothing happened or if it was the complete opposite and you were trying to get back into my life, even just a little bit. Your response upset me some more. You said that this shaving was a big thing for you and that you wanted to share it with me one last time, although you knew you shouldn’t. What a lie. Why are you lying to me and to yourself? This is not a good reason to come break my heart again, just like me not hiking is not a good reason to break up with me. The truth is that you wanted to be in touch with me, you are afraid of losing me and you wish you could casually keep me into your life. I could let you do it, I kind of want to. It would make the next few weeks a lot easier. But I also know that it would make the next few months and maybe even years sheer torture. I don’t want to be another Rachel, Aimee, or Nicky. I’m not going to let you do this to me. I really hope that someday we can be part of each other’s life again but I will need to heal fully before I can do that. And I will try very hard to keep you out of my life until this happens. God, this makes me really sad. I don’t know that I can imagine a day when I’ll see you and hug you without regretting what we could have been. I know the whole reason I’m doing this is to make sure I never have any regrets about us, though. I just struggle to see how that’s possible right now. I was honest with you, I told you that you were hurting me and that you needed to stay away. I’m proud that I did. Last time, I wasn’t able to. I guess I have gained some autonomy, I am not as dependent as I thought I was. I reminded you that this was your decision, not mine. I guess this was my way of giving you the opportunity to change your mind, apologize, and come back to me. You didn’t take it. Probably because you didn’t want to, because you knew you had made the right decision and in pushing you away, I wasn’t allowing you to backtrack just enough for things to remain confusing. I think you know I was right. I still really wished you had told me you had made a mistake. I guess it’s too early to tell really. I asked that you dive into your pain and sorrow to allow yourself to heal. I don’t know that you’re gonna do it. I so wish I could push you and force you to do it because I know, I know deep down, that you want it and that it would help but you are just too stubborn, proud, and ashamed. To take on the process of healing, one needs to realize that they deserve to feel better and I don’t know that you do. And I can’t force that. I have already done my best to equip you with the tools you need and to open your eyes to the reality, there is no more I can do.

The last things I have are resources. I could send them to you but it would mean breaking my rules and reaching out. I don’t want to do that. Reaching out is reserved to the day I won’t be able to bear it anymore. Maybe I’ll use your visit to give it all to you, one last time, before we don’t see each other again. I have been thinking about sending them to Scotty or Ben, asking them to check with you and help you since I would no longer be able to but I’m worried it’s gonna come out as creepy and stalkerish. I guess I’m setting a rule for myself right now: no sending of the resources until I have seen where I am when you visit. If I see you and feel good, I’ll share them directly. If I don’t, I’ll send them to your friends. But maybe I will have caved before then and talked to you. Then we’ll see where the conversation leads.

I was watching this silly makeover video and they gave the guy jean shorts. It made me cry. A minute later, someone was wearing white RayBan sunglasses and I cried some more. It felt dumb.

I watched the last Avengers movie. Spoiler alert! Everybody dies. It felt a little overwhelming at first and then, just very plain. There was no time to mourn anybody and by the time the movie had ended, I knew there was going to be another one after that and a bunch of other MCU movies, so no one is for sure dead. It was good, just a little busy.

I cut my huge zucchinis in so many pieces that I gave myself a blister with the knife. Aren’t I the best of cooks?

Tomorrow I’m waking up early to go meet with some women farmers in hopes to involve them in my research. Fingers crossed!

#diary of a broken heart #Josh #I love you #I miss you

1 note · View note

dent-de-leon · 7 years

Note

"You don’t constantly live in fear of losing someone who’s just like a brother. That’s not how anyone feels about their actual brother" - Don't get me wrong, I ship the heck out of S/K, but: I'd argue you absolutely do if you're an orphan who lost the only family they had at a young age and never really had anyone after that. And then you finally find someone who's like family, however you interpret that, and you have these huge abandonment issues. Of course you're gonna be scared of losing them

Hi! I got a few asks about this, so I’ll just cover them now. Okay so, while I agree that Keith would definitely have abandonment issues after his childhood either way, his relationship with Shiro still transcends what he has with the rest of Team Voltron–all of whom we know are also his found family. So it’s not just a matter of found family, but also this deeply personal, innermost connection he has with Shiro that he never quite manages with anyone else again. He holds a platonic love for all the paladins and thinks of them as his new family. But he’s not so terrified of losing them that he’d literally give up anything just to be with them. He only feels that way about Shiro. “He latches onto Shiro at times because Shiro’s sort of the only thing that can really calm him down and keep him in check.”

This idea of latching onto someone evokes a kind of desperateness and dependency you really don’t see in platonic relationships usually. Also, a relationship where one character is really the grounding force for another, the one thing that can soothe this volatile, emotional and alien side of them and bring out their humanity–that’s often a dynamic that’s meant to be interpreted in a romantic context. This is further supported by the fact that Zarkon, another galra who struggles with his overwhelming emotions, has Haggar to kind of act as his Shiro and be a balm for him, help steady him and guide him. Again, this kind of relationship is already established as blatantly romantic. So I don’t think it’s accidental that sheith mimics it.

There’s a singularity to Keith’s view on Shiro that feels distinctly romantic rather than brotherly. If someone’s just a friend or like a brother, then they’re not your entire world. You wouldn’t be “all alone” without them. And staying with what holo-Shiro said for a minute, his role there is pretty interesting. I’ve mentioned it before, but this idea of a knight having to sacrifice their love for the sake of their duty is a common theme, and we see that replicated here. And this idea of someone being sent to tempt the hero and try to lure them away from their duty, it’s pretty much always a romantic trope. Love interests are typically the kind of characters who would try to convince someone into believing they’re meant to be together and there’s no way the other person would be able to go on without them. It’s just not something that has a brotherly or platonic connotation.

There’s also the fact that holo-Shiro says “We’re your family.” As a reflection of Keith’s mind, he voices the fact that Keith sees all the paladins as found family. But he still views his relationship with Shiro as something much deeper. This makes Keith’s possessive mourning over Shiro all the more strange. When Pidge loses Matt and her dad, she doesn’t lash out at her mom about how she doesn’t care or isn’t doing enough. But Keith is another story.

If all of Team Voltron is his found family, then why act as if he’s the only one who cares about Shiro and no one else does? Why is pretty much everyone relatively understanding about Pidge’s situation–and why is she able to put her own feelings aside and carry on with the mission while Keith is portrayed as reckless and despondent with grief over constantly chasing after Shiro? Why does everyone have to pull him aside and tell him to move on when it seems like it’s been months but Pidge understands the mission has to come first in a matter of days? Pidge doesn’t seem to have any sort of dependency on her brother the way Keith and Shiro rely so heavily on one another. Obviously she loves Matt, but that love is shown to be very different from what we see between Shiro and Keith.

The fact that we have all these parallels established between sheith and zaggar also says a lot. Because saying that sheith isn’t meant to be read as romantic while still having it be so similar to zaggar is just…very strange. It’s pointing at one dynamic and saying “This is what a romantic relationship in our narrative looks like,” but then establishing essentially the same dynamic again and dismissing it. Especially when, right from the start, Keith is shown saving Shiro, and it’s something that Kuron actually makes a point of mentioning. So, given that the other black paladin who was terrified of losing the person they loved and willing to do anything just to be with them–given that that’s a distinctly romantic relationship, I think it’s important to take that context into consideration.

There are plenty of other close platonic relationships that Shiro and Keith could have been compared to. Hunk and Lance are also really good friends, but their interactions are clearly more casual and fun loving. There’s not this big dramatic weight bearing down on their relationship that you usually see from a will-they-or-won’t-they almost-couple, no tension. But sheith has plenty. Hunk and Lance obviously care about each other a lot, but they never pull one another aside and have a deeply personal, intimate, bleeding heart-to-heart. We see these quiet talks often with sheith though. Another telling sign is all the lingering, tender touches between Shiro and Keith.

Whether it’s the grounding weight of a hand on your shoulder or a warm embrace, these two are rather touchy-feely. Yes, Hunk is very huggable and he and Lance are very casual around each other. But again, their interactions aren’t regarded with the same depth and seriousness as Shiro and Keith’s. While it’s true that plenty of people have very close friends who they’re pretty openly affectionate with, it’s important to remember that this is a story, and most things they take the time to animate are meant to serve the narrative.

So, from a thematic standpoint, having these two characters with a hidden backstory who are always circling each other’s orbit, always exchanging little comforting touches here and there and offering quiet words of comfort, who are constantly scared of losing each other–typically, that’s how you build a romantic relationship. It’s not the way you’d usually establish a platonic one, and it’s not the way any other platonic relationships play out in Voltron either. Another sign that it’s not strictly platonic or brotherly is the fact that, while they’re still so close, there’s a noticeable distance. Like they’re both afraid and holding each other at arm’s length. Again, you don’t see this with Hunk and Lance; they’re perfectly comfortable being completely open with each other.

But Keith is always afraid one wrong move will cost him Shiro, always trying to do his best to make Shiro happy. He tells Shiro that he really changed his life, and it’s implied that maybe he thinks Shiro doesn’t realize just how much he means to him. That’s why, after Shiro does discover the full impact he’s had on Keith–after seeing how Keith’s worst fear is losing him in BOM–he never brings up the fact that something might happen to him again. Similarly, when Keith repeats “Patience yields focus,” Shiro’s whole face softens. His voice is nothing but fond when he asks, “That really stayed with you, didn’t it?” He didn’t know Keith cared that much, and he’s really touched.

And that’s something else–characters repeating each other’s deep, meaningful lines back to one another reads as distinctly romantic to me. Yeah, Hunk picks up on Lance’s favorite movie catchphrase, but it’s another example of how their relationship is more friendly and casual. It’s an effect used for comedic relief. That’s very different from Keith reciting Shiro’s mantra or the way these two greet each other with reversals of, “It’s good to have you back.” “It’s good to be back.” Context and tone are always so important.

I don’t mean to belittle platonic bonds in favor of romance though, or that one is more important than the other. Just that they’re both written very differently. That doesn’t mean they have to start off at completely separate points though. Shiro and Keith both really struggle with developing close, intimate relationships. Neither one really lets their walls down around anyone else, and they both often put on a brave face to shoulder the weight of the world alone. Keith especially struggles with social interaction, and he comes off as very touch averse. Both he and Shiro are also very private, reserved people.

So, I honestly can’t picture either of them falling in love suddenly. For them, I imagine romantic attraction would have to come from first developing a deep emotional attachment to the person platonically–and from there, the relationship would organically progress to something more romantic. I can’t see Shiro and Keith’s relationship the way it is now in canon as ending platonically though. If anything, I would say queerplatonic, because then the intensity and commitment level of the partnership is the same as a romantic relationship.

I mean, I might be bias because I have two brothers and what Shiro and Keith have does not read as brotherly at all to me. Not in the least. But I’ve had very close friends that I ended up developing romantic feelings for in the past, and that is what Keith’s feelings on Shiro really make me think of. Particularly when said friend is of the same gender and you’re unsure of your own feelings so you mistake that love for them being like a brother or sister at first. That’s very relatable to me.

I’m pretty sure it’s also common for a narrative to imply a gay relationship by referring to characters as having a very close, sort of brotherly camaraderie as well. And characters naturally progressing from a close friendship or seeing someone as being like a brother and then having those feelings change to romantic interest over time–it’s fairly common for straight couples in fiction. You even see it with Aang and Katara. Had Shiro been a girl, I feel like there wouldn’t be so much insistence that sheith is meant to be just brotherly or platonic. But again, that’s just how I see it.

#keith #sheith #shiro #voltron #meta #anonymous

278 notes · View notes

kingofthewilderwest · 6 years

Note

Have you seen the simpsons? do you like it? i personally not so much

Despite The Simpsons being one of those classic United States American adult cartoons, I’ll admit I’ve only watched a few clips of it here and there. I’ve never seen a full episode. I haven’t had the hankering to watch a full episode, given as I’m preoccupied going through a huge list of media I’d be more interested watching instead… but that said, I’d probably be interested to sit down and watch it, especially the earlier seasons, which I hear are better.

Basically… I have a casual interest to maybe check out the Simpsons, but it’s very casual and I can take or leave it.

But while I haven’t watched the Simpsons, I’ve watched Futurama, which is also created by Matt Groening. I hear it has a little different flavor of humor than the Simpsons, but of course those two naturally get compared. And I love Futurama. I’ve watched every episode of every season, even own some of the Futurama comic books! I think that show gets a good combination of prodding humor and emotional heart… I definitely cried during a few episodes when I binged the entire show in a month. There’s powerful heart in episodes like “The Luck of the Fryish,” in which Fry finds his nephew’s grave; while Futurama is full of comedy and satire and ridiculousness, it’s also got some sincere emotional content.

From what I know of The Simpsons, it also has that combination of elements - humor and heart. Right? And if that’s the case, there’s a fair potential I’d enjoy it. I don’t suspect it’d become a favorite show of mine that I’d watch on repeat, but I’d probably be casually entertained by it.

I often like to say that the best tragedies can make you laugh and the best comedies can make you cry. By exploring the full range of human emotions, we connect more. If a story is forever sad, it’s numbing, unpleasant, uncomfortable, and sometimes we respond to it by blocking ourselves off. We distance. On the flip side, if a story is only levity, then we also don’t full attach. There’s little to attach to. But by going through laughter and through tears, we ground ourselves deep, we become quite emotionally invested. The humorous points are more humorous because we know what it means to be sad; the sad points are more sad because we can remember the times we laughed.

Some sitcoms get this right. You find yourself laughing most of the time, but they throw in enough heart and touching moments that pull you in deeper. Most shows that do this are going to attract me at least a little, even if they don’t become favorites.

I suspect followers tend to think me as someone who draws toward more family-friendly animated shows than adult comedy. There is definitely a grain of truth in that - despite people calling adult shows “mature,” much of the time, they’re less mature with fewer meaningful points and fewer introspective lenses… they just have inappropriate jokes. That’s NOT every adult show out there but it does feel like it’s a lot. I like my stories filled with thought-provoking metaphor, characterization, well-written plot arcs, artistic expression, exploration into what it means to be human, complicated commentary about how we suffer or grow or interact with morality, uplifting messages about how to live, the like. Those sorts of messages are extremely deep and exciting and authentic and meaningful. I’d far more rather watch a story that respectfully handles characters growing through loss, than a show that irreverently tosses about a bunch of sex jokes or crosses the line into offensive social territory.

But. While I do have a preference for stories like ATLA and GF and VLD and FMAB, I will admit I have a side of me that enjoys animated adult comedy! I’m not going to say that all the jokes are things that should be joked about, and I will never endorse something that crosses the line, but I do enjoy a number of adult shows for the good enjoyable facets they have. They’re fun! I usually don’t dive into things that are too bold (I have no interest watching, for instance, South Park), and you’ll notice that the shows I like usually also have some heart too, but I’d watch things like the Simpsons! If you’re curious, I’ve watched and liked shows like Futurama, Archer, Bob’s Burgers, and BoJack Horseman. Currently finishing up BoJack Horseman Season 4 right now… good show with an extremely relatable, exploratively cynical side of human life.

TL;RD: I haven’t seen The Simpsons and I’m not hugely invested in chasing it down, given as I prefer other realms of animation more… but there’s a decent probability I’d get some enjoyment out of it, based upon other shows I’ve watched in a similar-ish vein.

#non-dragons #long post #The Simpsons #Futurama #Matt Groening #ask #ask me #awesome anonymous friend #Anonymous

7 notes · View notes

cometcalloway · 4 years

Text

@doyourbestgirl asked || abalone and zoisite!

abalone: what kind of situations compromise my muse emotionally

Lothric will be compromised easily by any unwanted threat to his person, even a simple touch without permission. People felt entitled to burning him, then hunting him down and then burning him, so there’s just not a lot of separation between touch-as-friendliness and touch-as-entitlement in his instincts, even knowing rationally that people can and do mean well. He also has chronic pain, and there are “normal” gestures, like a hearty pat on the back, that could really hurt him, and he’s just protective of not casually risking pain even if most people would probably be careful. (I hc he’s so bitter, determined, & calm in his boss fight when you’re hurting him because he hates you THAT MUCH...)

Lorian doesn’t serve his father’s strict regime anymore, but the damage to his sense of self worth is done. He has a deeply held belief that his worth is at least partly based on whether he’s “earned” it. If he ever does something he feels is disgraceful, he’ll become very distraught and meek (if a “might stare out the window angstily, might punch something” sort of state counts as meek).

Interestingly enough, Lothric has a strong sense of self worth that isn’t based on external sources, and it would take a lot to make Lorian genuinely emotionally compromised by touching him, shoving him, or even badly hurting him.

readmore for length

zoisite: does my muse believe everything's going to work out for them in the end or not?

This is essentially a question of how they react to overwhelming circumstances, rather than how they might feel in a situation where they had more opportunities, just because they went from the whole horror show from their canon directly to an island that’s holding them captive.

Lothric wavers between ‘no’ and ‘unsure,’ and wavers between personal definitions of "everything working out.” Sometimes “everything working out” means that nobody kills him to link the Fire and makes a mockery of crowning him king for his father, in which case he’s already won. Sometimes “everything working out” means that he has a life where he feels safe and comfortable, which is a lot more painful to think about. He’s never completely had that, he doesn’t have access to it now, and in that context it’s painful to face the truth that he low key deserves it, or meaningful periods of it, as a living thing & human being. He feels that it’s appropriate to have standards for himself and decide he can pursue and want safety and comfort, simply because accepting anything less would be agreeing with his father that it’s not useful to think of him as a human being with meaningful wants and needs. So he strongly believes that he deserves to have everything work out for him in the end in some way. But he has to hold that alongside the real possibility that he’ll never get it, and that that sense of deserving may be all he can ever do, and keep living anyway.

Lorian makes a concentrated effort to fix the needle at ‘unsure’ intentionally, with as much brute force as it takes. The only proof he’ll ever accept that he can’t have something he needs, or something Lothric needs that he’s trying to get on Lothric’s behalf (life, hope, comfort, safety) is a lived experience of demanding it with everything he’s got and having it proven to him that he’s literally not able to get it, even after fully intending to take it for himself. “Overwhelming odds” okay but did it happen yet? I’ll show you overwhelming! There’s a lot to admire, in that, but there’s always a risk that he’ll end up hurting himself in situations where he could have just predicted the outcome & left well enough alone, when the stakes really weren’t worth it.

Meanwhile, all of this happens in the context of their connection, and they’re able to help each other when their particular strategy starts to break down. Without Lorian’s antagonistic optimism to rely on, Lothric could get stuck in his own realism. Without Lothric’s realism to rely on, Lorian could get lost in pride and anger and take everything too far.

0 notes

milominderbindered · 7 years

Text

thirty days of skam fic: day nineteen aka, the sequel to the neighbours fic

beginning. accusation. restless. leaves. rainbow. flame. formal. under. move. silver. prepared. knowledge. denial. cans. order. thanks. look. summer. transformation. tremble. tent. mad. thousand. paper. winter. luxury. letters. promise. simple. future.

[ PART ONE ] [ READ ON AO3 ]

As soon as Even finds out he’s been keeping Isak awake every night for weeks, several things happen. First, the late night noises stop almost immediately and completely, which must mean Even has either put carpet back down like he said he was going to, or just completely changed all his habits for Isak. Second, this lets Isak actually get some sleep again, which his professors seem to appreciate since he stops falling asleep in lectures, and his friends seem to appreciate because they inform him that he’s at least forty percent less grumpy.

Third, Isak starts running into Even everywhere.

They bump into each other at the cafe Isak didn’t know Even worked at, the laundry room he’s never seen Even in before, the bench just down the street from their building, the tram back from University. Eskild keeps inviting Even to movie nights at the kollektiv, and then in return Even keeps cooking them all dinner, and he also starts texting Isak about random little things during the day, which never fail to make Isak laugh and secretly blush to himself and then get teased by all his friends for the besotted way he’s looking down at his phone.

By the time a few more weeks have passed, Isak has to upgrade his feelings for Even from crush to full-on infatuation.

But between Eskild’s never-ending meddling and Linn’s eternal presence at the kollektiv and Even’s roommates, Mikael and Yousef and Elias, being around a lot too, it takes a while before Isak and Even get any more time alone. It’s not like Isak’s angling for anything, but still, if the universe wanted to throw him some kind of situation where he could stare at Even all he wanted and not get caught in the act by his roommates, he wouldn’t complain.

And then, one day, Isak manages to lock himself out.

He doesn’t know how he’s done it -- he always remembers his keys, but his keyring broke in his bag at some point during his day at uni, and Isak’s ended up with the key to the outside of the building, but not the one which actually opens the kollektiv’s front door. And Eskild’s at work and it’s the one day that Linn happens to be visiting her family, so he’s just stood there, feeling like an idiot with an armful of organic chemistry books, no coat, and a phone on 2% battery. It’s drizzling outside so he doesn’t even want to go and walk somewhere else, but he supposes he’ll have to, and just take shelter at the nearest coffee shop or force Jonas to take pity on him.

Except, before he can actually turn around and leave, Isak suddenly spots Even coming up the stairs, and doesn’t even waste a second before calling out to him.

“Isak, hey!” Even responds immediately. He looks happy to see Isak -- at least, Isak thinks so, although Even’s always pretty cheerful so he could be imagining it. He bounds up the rest of the stairs and then stands a little bit closer than he has to, a little bit closer than you’d probably lean to a casual friend -- but then, Isak could be imagining that too. “Shit, locked out? Don’t worry, I do that like, at least once a week. Wanna come and chill at mine until Eskild can rescue you?”

And that’s how Isak ends up in Even’s flat for the very first time.

It really is laid out the same as the kollektiv, but decorated so differently that it’s almost hard to tell. It’s weird, like seeing Isak’s own flat in an alternate universe; he’d be quite happy to just wander around and inspect the way they’ve nudged an armchair into an alcove that Eskild has a bookcase in, or the way their kitchen is flipped so the fridge is by the window, but as soon as they’ve toed their shoes off at the door, Even is leading the way towards his bedroom.

Okay, Isak thinks. He can work with that.

As he takes his first steps into Even’s bedroom, Isak feels a bit like he’s walking into some kind of sacred site. He’d spent most of the last month imagining endless scenarios for what was in the room above his that caused so much noise -- but when it comes down to it, Even’s room is pretty normal. He has a big bed that’s unmade and messy and pushed against the wall. A couple of guitars, which Isak is sure he must have heard being played at 3am a few times. There isn’t a trampoline, or any evidence of drilling equipment, so he’s still not quite sure what Even could have been doing all those nights to cause so much noise.

The next thing he spots is the wall, which is papered in drawings and doodles and interesting little cut-outs. Even had said he was an artist, but Isak hadn’t really considered what kind of art he did; he wanders closer, reading a few of the hand drawn little comics, and finds they’re quirky and surprisingly funny.

“These are really good,” he observes, glancing over his shoulder at Even and smiling a bit. Even is watching Isak, like he’s observing the response to the room, and he smiles a little lopsidedly.

“Really? Ah, thanks. They’re not my main thing, I actually make movies too, and paint, but -- yeah, sometimes nothing will shut my brain up except doodling.”

Isak understands that. He’s no sort of artist, but he definitely has a bit of a messy brain that he can’t always find the volume switch in.

“Well, I like them.” He smiles a bit too softly at Even, and Even smiles back, a wide grin that makes his eyes crinkle up and his whole face turn adorable.

Isak’s heart thuds in his chest.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Even asks.

-----

They’ve sat side-by-side through plenty of movies at the kollektiv by now, but being alone together, sat on Even’s bed and so close their shoulders are touching, is something else entirely.

Isak barely takes in two seconds of the movie; the whole of his brain is consumed by how good Even smells, and how warm he is where they’re pressed together, and how his deep laugh rumbles through his chest every time Isak misses a joke on screen.

When the movie ends, Even looks over at Isak, and asks, “Did you like it?”

Turned like this, their faces are so, so close.

“Yeah,” Isak says. It’s barely a lie; he loved the entire experience of watching this movie, despite the fact that he doesn’t even remembered what it’s called. “It was great. Thanks.”

-----

After that, Even starts texting him more, and it seems like they’re bumping into each other ever more often, and Isak can barely handle it. Every time they’re all in the same room, Eskild has started giving Isak meaningful looks, and Isak just glares back at him. The thing is, it sometimes seems like maybe, just maybe, Isak’s crush isn’t totally unreciprocated -- but Isak has a bad track record with mistaking friendly straight guys as interested in him, and he’s never heard Even talk about sexuality, ever, except the once he’d mentioned having an ex-girlfriend.

One day, when Isak is doing dishes in the kitchen and Eskild is sewing up a hole in a pair of leggings at the table behind him, Isak decides he’s going to just casually ask, and clears his throat.

“Uh, Eskild?” he says, not looking up from the mouldy pan of pasta he’s scrubbing out. “Has -- um. Has Even ever, I dunno, mentioned to you about -- talked to you about his sexuality?”

There’s a moment of absolutely blank silence, and then all of a sudden a squeal and a pair of arms throwing themselves around Isak’s shoulders from behind. He immediately tenses up, washing up water sloshing everywhere as Eskild jostles him, but it’s too late to take it back now.

“Aww, baby! I knew you were crushing, I just knew it! I have such a good guru sixth sense about these things, don’t I?” Not really -- Isak’s probably just extremely obvious. He knows that. “And he hasn’t talked to me about it, but I’ve noticed the little pansexual flag badge on that sexy denim jacket he always wears, haven’t you?”

Clearly Isak hadn’t, but that information is interesting at the very least. He shrugs Eskild off, trying to seem annoyed, and grumbles something about just being curious before dropping the subject entirely.

But next time they see each other on the stairs, and Even stands just a little closer than most people would and brushes his fingers over Isak’s arm, Isak does take note of the badge on Even’s jacket.

-----

One day, when Isak has a pretty big exam coming up, he puts his phone on do not disturb mode while he studies. When he takes a break after an hour, for a bag of Doritos and a quick check of his notifications, there is a solid wall of texts on his phone, all from the same number. His face twitches into a hopeless little smile as he clicks on them, seeing the dumb meme Even had sent him to begin with, and then a series of increasingly pointless but cute messages about what he’s having for dinner and the fact that Isak is taking too long to text back.

[ 19:02 -- From: Even 4B ]

should i start blasting music through the floorboards when you ignore me? haha

Isak figures studying can wait a little bit longer.

[ 19:13 -- To: Even 4B ]

didn’t realise you were that desperate for my attention, sorry ;P

He has started being just a little, tiny bit flirtier in texts lately. So far, Even hasn’t said anything about it, so Isak’s gonna just keep sending those winky emojis and hoping he’s being obvious enough.

[ 19:13 -- From: Even 4B ]

Isak, you’ve known me for several months now, surely you should realise i am ALWAYS desperate for your attention!

Even’s reply is almost immediate; he really must have been waiting for Isak to text back. Isak bites his lip as he reads the message, and then reads it again for good measure, feeling his heart beating a little too quick. His fingers hover over his phone, starting to type out a response but then deciding it sounds lame and backspacing, beginning again -- but after a minute, he must have been taking too long to reply, because all of a sudden an obnoxious pop song starts blasting from the room above his.

Isak actually laughs, flopping back onto his bed and looking up at the ceiling, as if the blank white plaster represents Even himself.

[ 19: 15 -- To: Even 4B ]

omg, GEEZ, okay you have my attention, just stop the gabrielle! wanna hang out?

Studying can wait. You only live once, Isak decides, and it’s not every day that a cute boy is trying so hard to get you to give him the time of day.

-----

The music turns off, and Even appears at the door three minutes later, beaming rather triumphantly. Isak rolls his eyes, but leads the way to his room anyway -- he wants Even all to himself, so speed is of the essence, before Eskild realises they have a visitor and hijacks Even for the rest of the night.

Even has been in Isak’s room a couple of times, but never really hung out in there before. Isak suddenly feels a bit regretful of how messy it is, and does a quick sweep with his eyes to check he hasn’t left any mouldy plates or dirty underwear out in the open -- luckily not, it’s just crumpled clothes and a whole lot of uni notes strewn all over the floor.

“Uh, so,” he says, suddenly feeling awkward. They’re just stood there, and Even is standing close, like he always does, and it’s making it way too hard for Isak to think. “What do you wanna do? We could play FIFA, or watch a movie or something, or, uh, I guess we could order food, but we’ll have to sneak it past Eskild.” Even looks amused, a little pressed-lips smile on his face as he stares down at Isak.

“That all sounds chill,” he says, shrugging. Why is he so much smoother than Isak? How is that fair? “But why don’t we just sit and talk for a bit?”

Isak’s heart thunders in his chest, but he nods, and a few minutes later they’re sat on his bed together, Even’s long legs crossed over the crumpled edge of Isak’s duvet, close enough that their knees touch. Even’s telling a long story about one of his film classes, and Isak is half listening, half watching and thinking how much he likes the way Even talks with his hands, all big gestures like he’s trying to draw the words into life.

And then the story ends, and the room is just quiet. Even looks at him, almost evaluating, his eyes all soft. One of his expressive hands drifts between them, and his fingertips rest oh-so lightly on Isak’s knee.

“You look nice today, by the way,” Even says, smiling so softly that his nose scrunches up.

Isak thinks fuck it, leans into the tiny space between their bodies, catches Even’s face between his hands, and kisses him.

Even’s lips are like nothing else he’s ever felt, and Isak can’t help but gasp against him when Even immediately starts kissing him back. The hand on Isak’s knee slides all the way up his leg and holds onto his hip instead, and Isak leans in closer, and then closer still, until his arms are wound all the way around Even’s neck and their mouths are moving frantically against each other and he can pull until they both go tumbling back onto the mattress, legs uncrossing and winding together, their whole bodies intertwining.

It could be seconds or hours later, but Isak’s whole body is overwhelmed with heat and he eventually eventually gets dizzy enough to pull away for a brief moment, needing to catch his breath. As soon as he does, Even nuzzles into his cheek, a deep little hum escaping him.

“So I guess I really did get your attention,” he says, his voice sounding all soft and pleased, and Isak can’t help but burst out laughing.

They stay in Isak’s bed for the whole rest of the night. At some point, in-between orgasms and jokes and deep conversations, Isak is forced to recategorise Even once again. This time, he goes straight from infatuation to boyfriend.

Isak thinks he might keep that one for a while.

#skamFWN #evak #evak fic #skam fic #isak valtersen #even bech naesheim #i can't write an emotional fic about the finale yet so have this fluffy au instead #isak x even #even x isak #30 days of skam #maia writes fic

90 notes · View notes

zombie-party-novel · 5 years

Text

Zombie Party Chapter 8

The zombie stared at all of them curiously, then lowered his hand. “What are you guys, zombie hunters?” Their eyes widened and their jaws dropped. They were of course aware of zombies who could still speak and think, but they had never ran into one before, and secretly always wondered what they would do if they ever did. Sebastian regained his composure quickly. “Yeah, something like that. And you’re a zombie... aren’t you?” The zombie nodded casually. “Yeah, I think so. I was bitten a long time ago and I haven’t died yet.” Archie turned to face the others and pulled them aside. She lowered her voice and said “What do we do with him?” “He’s a zombie. We kill him,” said Sebastian, as if it were obvious. “But he’s talking to us. And he didn’t attack us,” said Archie “Wouldn’t killing him be...” “Rude?” Preston offered, glancing back at the zombie who seemed to be waiting patiently for them to talk things over. “He seems really nice.” Sebastian looked annoyed. “Nice? Because he’s not trying to eat you?”

“We should take him back to the base,” Archie said. “Why, so they can experiment on him like some sort of animal?” Sebastian asked, “Killing him would be a lot more humane.” Jessie remained strangely silent, staring intently at the zombie. She stepped away from the others and approached him. “What do you want us to do?” she asked him. The others stopped talking and looked up. The zombie shrugged. “I don’t know, leave me here?” Sebastian spoke up again. “We can’t. We’ve been sent to clear out the building.” The zombie sighed. “Oh. Well, I don’t want you to kill me, that’s for sure.” “Then I guess you have to come with us,” Archie said, smiling at him. He hesitated for a moment, then returned the smile. “Alright. Guess I have no choice.” Sebastian gave an odd little grunt of annoyance. Archie held her hand out to the zombie “I’m Archie. This is Jessie, that’s Preston, and the asshole over there is Sebastian.” The zombie nodded, taking her hand and shaking it gently. “I’m Cassiel.” They made their way out of the store and began searching the rest of the stores, even though Cassiel assured them there were no more zombies this side of the barricade. “We have to make sure,” Archie told him as they walked together through the mall. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was certainly a looker, if you could get past the snow-white skin and missing arm. “You’re surprisingly clean for a zombie.” Cassiel glanced back at her. “They have showers in one of the back rooms.” “You’re not rotting.” “Yeah, I noticed that. Weird huh?” “Do the other zombies attack you?” “No,” he said, “I think they can tell I’m one of them.” Archie stopped walking and looked back at the wall of furniture. “So why the barricade?” “The zombies stink.” Archie laughed then, and Cassiel stared at her as if she had sprouted a second head. When she caught his gaze, she asked “What is it?” He smiled again, and she decided he had an incredibly beautiful smile. “I haven’t heard anyone laugh for a long time,” he told her. Archie felt something flutter in her stomach. Oh God, he’s really hot. And he’s sweet too. And he was living in a game store, so he has to be a gamer. But oh shit, he’s a zombie. Gotta remember he’s a zombie. She continued walking, and after a brief pause, he followed her. “So,” she said quickly, “why didn’t you leave the mall?” “Why would I? Everything I could ever need is right here.” He gestured back toward the game store, and Archie laughed again. This time he joined her, and after a few seconds she stopped abruptly. “We really need to finish clearing the area. You can stay in the store until we’re done if you want.” “I can help you,” Cassiel said, “I have some experience dealing with zombies you know.” Archie smiled at him and nodded, then the two of them went from store to store making sure they were empty. On the other side of the mall, Preston walked with Sebastian and Jessie, looking over at Archie every few seconds. “I don’t like it,” he announced. “She shouldn’t be alone with him. What if he goes berserk and attacks her?” “Then she’ll blow his brains out,” Sebastian said, “Actually, that’s a pretty good outcome if you ask me.” Jessie looked at him sharply and he seemed to look a little guilty as he averted her eyes. She then looked to Preston. “Would you feel better if I stayed with her?” Preston shook his head. “No, I should go.” Sebastian turned and touched Preston’s arm lightly. “I think Jessie should go. If you or I go, Archie might feel like we don’t have faith in her abilities.” “Since when have you cared about Archie’s feelings?” Sebastian looked at Jessie, and she instantly knew what he was doing. He knew, without her saying a word, that she wanted to talk to Cassiel. Because he was like him, like her beloved brother. She tapped Preston’s shoulder to draw his attention from Sebastian. “I think he cares more about my feelings,” she said, trying to sound shy, “I told him earlier that I feel like you guys don’t trust me to deal with zombies without help.” Preston seemed satisfied with the explanation. “Oh, okay. Sorry if I made you feel that way.” Jessie gave a meaningful look to Sebastian then ran across the mall to meet up with Archie and Cassiel, who were involved in a deep discussion on the game play mechanics of a title Jessie hadn’t heard of. They stopped talking when she reached them and Cassiel gave her a friendly smile. “You’re Jessie, right?” She nodded. “Can I ask you something personal?” He seemed confused for a moment, but nodded. “Does it hurt?” He glanced at Archie, as if to ask her if she understood the question any better than he did, but she raised her eyebrows and shook her head. “Does it hurt to be a zombie?” Jessie asked. Cassiel understood now. “It did in the beginning,” he said truthfully, “for around a week the pain was unbearable. It was like I could feel my insides freezing up, and my skin going cold. But after a while, it all started to go away. I don’t know if I just got used to it or if it really didn’t hurt anymore. But now I don’t feel any pain at all.” Archie was listening carefully, and without really thinking she asked, “Can you feel pleasure?” Cassiel’s eyes moved swiftly to her face, and the somewhat surprised amusement in his expression made her suddenly realize how perverted her question sounded. She felt her cheeks beginning to burn. “Uh... I mean... you said you don’t feel pain but... does that mean nothing can hurt you or just that being a zombie doesn’t hurt you anymore or...” He grinned at her, but his face seemed gentle, understanding. “Being a zombie doesn’t hurt me. Other things can still hurt me, they just can’t kill me. And yes, I can still feel pleasure.”

Jessie watched the two of them, and struggled to keep herself from giggling. She’d never seen Archie so giddy. But more importantly, Jessie felt relieved. Cassiel certainly didn’t act like he was suffering. If what Cassiel says is true, then maybe Greg... Something grabbed one of Jessie’s braids, jerking her back until she fell on the floor. She gave a little squeal of shock, trying to pull away as Archie and Cassiel whirled to look back. Archie swore and drew one of the revolvers, but before she could fire Cassiel had lunged at the space behind Jessie, where a rotting zombie was pulling her by the hair under a shelf. No one saw exactly what happened as Cassiel crouched swiftly by the shelf and reached his arm in underneath, but when he pulled it back out he was grasping the zombie’s head. Now dead, the zombie’s grip on Jessie’s hair loosened and she stood up, staring at Cassiel who was still holding the head. “Thank you,” she said. “Ah, you’re welcome. I guess I missed one when I cleaned this part up.” Archie looked him up and down. “You’re strong, aren’t you? To tear a zombie’s head off with one arm like that, you don’t have normal human strength.” “Because I’m a zombie I guess,” he replied. They stood there silently for a moment, blood dripping from the head in Cassiel’s hand, before he seemed to suddenly notice he was still holding it and let it drop to the floor. They continued walking, this time without conversation. Archie wondered why she didn’t feel like talking to him anymore. I almost forgot, I almost thought he was human. Why did he have to remind me that he’s not? The east area was eventually cleared, and they made their way upstairs to begin working on the top level. There were considerably fewer zombies here, as if the creatures had been too lazy to venture up the no longer operating escalator. But there were enough to continue the plan to stick together. This time Archie and Jessie worked together while Sebastian and Preston fought back to back. Cassiel seemed to look a little lost as they went to work. He didn’t fit into their teamwork techniques and barely remembered their names. He had no idea how each of them fought, how they maneuvered, how they announced an area was clear. So he watched them, even as he single-handedly tore apart the zombies unlucky enough to limp by him. Within an hour they had cleared the top floor, sealed off all the store entrances, and were making a final round over the bottom level. They walked by the game store, and Cassiel stepped inside without a word to the others. Archie noticed, and trailed silently behind him until she reached the entrance. She lingered in the doorway, wondering whether or not she should follow him inside. The store had been his home for a long time, and it was no doubt personal to him. Was he saying a final farewell to the place? He emerged from the store a few minutes later, a large duffle bag hanging on the shoulder that still connected to an arm. Archie eyed it curiously. “Personal belongings?” she asked. Cassiel grinned, unzipping it for her to see. Dozens of video games threatened to spill out. “I can’t leave these treasures behind.” Archie looked from the bag to Cassiel’s smiling face. “You have to be the most awesome zombie in the world.” They shared another laugh and finished checking the bottom floor. When done, they left the building and the men in containment suits rushed inside. Cassiel gave them a glance but didn’t ask about them, and they didn’t seem to notice him at all. “Don’t worry about them,” Archie told him as they climbed into Sebastian’s car, “They always ignore us. They think we’re infected or something.” “Are you?” “No,” Sebastian said from the driver’s seat, “We can’t get infected.” “We were given a vaccine,” said Preston, turning around in the front passenger seat to look at Cassiel. He looked astonished. “There’s a vaccine?” “It’s experimental right now,” Preston answered, “They haven’t released it to the public yet because they’re still testing it.” “We’re the guinea pigs,” said Sebastian, eyes still firmly on the road. “But so far it works!” Jessie said brightly. She held out her arm to him and displayed several faint scars. “We’ve all been scratched and bitten since taking the vaccine, and none of us have been infected yet.” “Isn’t that risky?” Cassiel asked. Archie grinned. “In our line of work we risk getting infected every day. If we get offered some extra protection, we’re not gonna turn it away.” “But it doesn’t completely protect us,” Preston reminded, “I mean, if a horde of zombies tears us apart, a vaccine isn’t gonna help.” The car became quiet then, and the ride back to the base was short. Sebastian drove directly to the building that housed General Kreaver’s office and they all climbed out. A few people walking around outside gave nervous looks to Cassiel, who waved his one arm and smiled at them. They led Cassiel into the building and down the hall to the General’s office, knocked on the door, and walked inside. At the sight of Cassiel, General Kreaver stood up quickly and reached under his desk. Archie stepped in front of Cassiel and held up her hands. “Wait, he’s not a normal zombie!” General Kreaver stared at Cassiel. “Do you mean...” “He can talk,” Jessie said, and the General slowly withdrew his hand from beneath his desk. Archie was relieved that he wasn’t holding a gun. His eyes were sharply upon Cassiel, who was several inches taller than Archie and clearly visible behind her. “How long have you been infected?” General Kreaver asked, cutting right to the point. Archie stepped to the side and Cassiel looked a little nervous as he answered. “Over a year. I don’t remember the exact date or anything.” The General’s eyebrows raised. “Then you were bitten near the beginning of the outbreak. And how do you feel? Any long periods of unconsciousness or signs of decomposing?” Cassiel shook his head. “I sleep, but no more than I did before I was infected. I feel like my insides are frozen, but I don’t smell like I’m rotting. At least, I don’t think I do.” Seemingly as an afterthought, he tilted his head and sniffed himself. General Kreaver eagerly moved on. “Do you have any other injuries aside from your arm?” Cassiel shook his head again. “How old are you?” “Twenty. Well, I was nineteen when I got infected but I don’t know if I’ve aged any since then.” General Kreaver sat back down behind his desk and picked up the phone. He punched in a few numbers with trembling fingers and told someone on the other end to come to his office immediately. There were a few moments of awkward silence before Archie said “What’s going to happen to him?” “We’ll keep him contained until we can confirm he’s not dangerous.” “I’m not dangerous,” Cassiel said, looking slightly insulted. The General looked skeptical. “Really? You have absolutely no desire for human flesh?” The others all turned to Cassiel, and he seemed highly uncomfortable as he slowly opened his mouth to answer. “I... I’m not dangerous,” he repeated, “I won’t hurt anybody. I’m infected, but I’m still me. Even if I feel hungry, I can’t hurt people. I just can’t.” The General narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t answer my question.” Cassiel blinked and looked around at the others. “Well, I’m a zombie. Of course I’m hungry for... for meat,” he said, as if the word ‘flesh’ was somehow dirty, then quickly went on, “But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever act on it! I saw what zombies do to people when they eat them. I watched it for a long time. I’ll shoot myself in the head before I ever do something like that!” Archie watched him in amazement, then stepped in front of him again. “I believe him,” she told General Kreaver, “and I don’t want him locked up! I’ll take responsibility if he attacks anyone!” The General leaned back in his chair. “Your concern is appreciated, but we have families here who depend on us to keep them safe. We’ll run some tests and determine the extent of the infection inside him, then we’ll release him.” Archie didn’t move. “You swear?” “You have my word.” She slowly stepped away again, and within seconds the door to General Kreaver’s office had flung open and the familiar men in containment suits filed in, holding rifles. Archie had never seen them armed before, but decided that it made sense, as they were indeed soldiers. They surrounded Cassiel, pushing Archie and the others out of the way, and attached restraints to his remaining arm. She watched them lead him away, and he gave her an uneasy smile as he disappeared into the hall. The walk back to their apartments was silent until Jessie spoke up. “I wonder what kind of tests they have to run on him.” Sebastian was lighting a cigarette. “Kreaver said they would be testing the level of his infection. They’ll probably want to do some experimentation. They have a hard time getting their hands on zombies like him, right? Carlos said something about it when we first met him.” Jessie looked horror struck, and Sebastian took the cigarette out of his mouth, dropping it onto the pavement of the sidewalk and stomping it out with the toe of his shoe. His face seemed a little flushed. “Kreaver said he’d release him though. He’ll be fine.” Archie wasn’t convinced. “I can’t believe we let them take him. We should’ve done something.” Preston walked beside her, brows knitting together beneath his bangs. “But he’s a zombie. They can’t just let him wander the streets in the base. People would freak out.” They reached the apartment building, and Archie began digging in her bag for the key once again. “I’m not saying they should let him wander around the base. But they don’t have to keep him locked up all the time either. They could set him up in an apartment like ours and watch him.” Sebastian had his own key in his hand as he moved toward door number eight. “What’s the difference then?” he asked Archie over his shoulder, “Either way, he has no freedom. I told you killing him would be more humane.” “But he didn’t want to die!” Jessie said suddenly, and Sebastian looked away from her as he unlocked his door and walked inside, leaving Preston in the hall. Archie found her key and reached it to Jessie. “What’s his problem today?” she asked Preston, “He’s been on the warpath since this morning.” Preston shrugged. “It’s just Sebastian being Sebastian. You know how he is.” Archie sighed and looked at Jessie, who had opened the door and was disappearing behind it. “Seems like the situation has changed a little though.” “Huh?” She shook her head. “Never mind, Preston. See you later.” Archie walked into her apartment and dropped her bag on the floor. Jessie’s shiny buckled shoes were sitting neatly just inside the door and Archie thought she caught a glimpse of pink hair flashing across the hall leading to their bedrooms. She found Jessie sprawled across her bed, on her stomach, face pressed into a ruffled pink pillow. Archie tapped the open door to announce her presence, then moved across the plush mauve carpet to sit on Jessie’s bed. “What’s wrong?” Jessie didn’t look up, so her voice was muffled. “Sebastian.” “What about him?” “He said some terrible things about Cassiel, even though...” There was a pause during which Archie wondered if Jessie had perhaps taken an interest in Cassiel, and a bizarre pang of fear ran through her. Jessie raised up to display her red, puffy eyes. “I had a brother, before all this started. His name was Greg. He was more than just a brother to me, he was my best friend. But then the zombies came and... and...” Archie stared at her, having no idea how to respond. She knew that Jessie had lost her family during the zombie attack, but no details had ever been shared. Still, she wondered what this had to do with the present situation. Jessie sniffled, wiped her eyes, and went on. “Even after Greg was a zombie, he talked to me. He pushed me out of the house and told me to run away. And that’s when Sebastian came.” Archie was surprised. Suddenly things were starting to make sense. “So your brother was like Cassiel?” Jessie nodded. “And Sebastian knows it. I told him about Greg a long time ago, so he knows how I feel. But still he keeps saying we should’ve killed Cassiel. I hate that! Cassiel is just like Greg! I keep thinking, what if someone thought that or said that about Greg? I don’t even know what happened to him!” She fell back onto the bed, her face mashed into the pillow again as she sobbed. Archie reached out and stroked her hair. “Did you ever try to go back and look for Greg?” “I did,” Jessie said, her voice muffled again, “A few weeks after we started the training, Sebastian took me back to my house. I couldn’t find Greg anywhere. What if someone killed him? What if they thought he was just another zombie and shot him in the head?” “He’s probably still out there somewhere,” Archie said softly, “Other zombies wouldn’t hurt him, so he was probably a lot safer than a normal person, right?” Jessie raised up again. “You’re right. He could still be alive. I shouldn’t think about him being dead.” Archie smiled. “Exactly. You have to stay positive. You’ll find Greg eventually, I’m sure. And as for Sebastian, he’s just a rude bastard. You have to look over him.” Jessie moved to a sitting position. “I know. I know Sebastian is rude and blunt. But sometimes I look at him and I see flashes of Greg. When he’s protecting me, when he says something kind, it’s like Greg is with me again.” “So he’s got good points and bad points, like everyone else. You can forgive him, right?” Jessie nodded. “So go talk to him. Tell him he hurt your feelings and give him the chance to say he’s sorry.” Jessie stood up and went to her dresser, peered in the mirror at herself, and shook her head. “Look at me. I’m almost fifteen and I still cry like a baby.” “I’d be worried if you never cried.” Jessie smiled at Archie’s reflection behind her own. “Thanks, Archi. I’ll talk to him.” “Just don’t tell anyone I actually defended that jackass.” “No one will ever know,” Jessie said brightly as Archie stood up from the bed and the two girls left the bedroom. As they stepped into the living room they heard a knock at the door. They glanced at each other and Archie grinned as they hurried over to open it. Sebastian stood in the hallway, hands in his pockets, looking at the two of them with what appeared to be his best impression of Preston. He looked meek, perhaps even shy. “Can I come in?” The girls parted ways to clear a path into the living room, and Sebastian stepped inside followed by Preston, whom they hadn’t noticed until he was inside their apartment. There was a brief moment of silence before Sebastian looked at Jessie and said simply “I’m sorry.” The words sounded strange, coming from him, as if he were speaking some bizarre new language. Jessie was speechless for a few seconds, then exploded into laughter. She held her sides and fell onto the couch, Sebastian watching her first with curiosity then with annoyance. “If this is how you’re going to act, don’t expect me to apologize ever again.” Jessie stopped laughing and sat up, but her face was still locked in an expression of utter amusement. “I’m sorry, you just looked so... cute.” Sebastian reddened slightly and Preston coughed loudly in his attempts to keep himself from laughing. Archie poked Sebastian roughly and said “He’s not cute at all. Not even in those stupid teddy bear pajamas he wears.” Sebastian was truly horrified now, and looked accusingly at Preston. “How the hell does she know about my pajamas?!” Preston backed up. “She was using our laptop and she opened the images folder and the Christmas pictures from last year were all over the place and that was the night you got drunk and I took pictures of you and... well... that pretty much explains it.” Jessie stood up excitedly. “Let me see them!” “No!” Sebastian cried, his voice higher than usual. Jessie opened her mouth to protest when another knock came at the door. This one was softer than Sebastian’s. It was slow, almost hesitant. They all looked at each other questioningly before Archie made her way over and opened the door again. She found herself face to face with Cassiel, his glowing blue zombie eyes looking at her with just a little curiosity. “Cassiel?” she asked, stepping aside and motioning him in. “I knocked on the other door, but no one answered,” he said, standing in the middle of their living room, “They told me the girls have this apartment.” “What are you doing here?” Sebastian asked, face still flushed from his earlier humiliation. “They finished the tests and told me I’ll be living with Sebastian and Preston.” Sebastian and Preston both seemed to jolt at the news, but Archie and Jessie were delighted “That’s great!”, Archie said, “So you’re a part of the team now?” “I guess so,” Cassiel said with a smile. Sebastian groaned. “Great. We get a one-armed zombie on a zombie hunter squad.” “They’re making me a new arm,” Cassiel told them, “It’ll be mechanical, but they said it’ll look and function like a real arm.” “That’s awesome!” Archie said, happily ignoring Sebastian’s snort. “But... where’s your stuff?” “My bag is in the hallway. It’s ninety percent games but I brought some of the clothes I snagged from the mall.” Archie looked at Preston. “Hear that? He brought a ton of games!” Preston nodded quietly but looked no less troubled. Sebastian sighed and headed for the door. “Guess we may as well go on over and let him unpack his shit.” Cassiel looked grateful but said nothing as he followed Sebastian into the hall and waited for him to unlock the door. Preston followed behind them and as the boys disappeared into their apartment, Archie heard him asking “But where’s he gonna sleep?” Archie stood in the open doorway for a while before closing the door and turning to Jessie. “I wonder what kind of sleeping arrangements they’ll make.” Jessie giggled, and Archie was struck by the sudden image of a cuddly male slumber party, complete with teddy bear pajamas. But the vision crumbled immediately when she heard Sebastian’s voice yelling something unmistakably nasty and Preston whining loudly that he was not sharing a bed with a zombie. The girls laughed and headed for their own beds, where the ongoing argument across the hall lulled them into a strangely comforting sleep.

#Zombie Party #Writeblr #Horror Writeblr #Zombies #Zombie Novel #Zombie Fiction #Horror Novel #Horror Fiction #Writer Blog #Writing #Original Novel

0 notes

littlespoonevan · 7 years

Note

Yay! :D Okay so: a lot of people have talked about Isak and Even's first "I love you"s to each other, but what I'd really love to see is the first time Isak says "I'm in love with Even" to *someone else* (I'm kind of thinking Jonas, but it could really be anyone). Take your time, no rush!

askjdhgahdsg oh gOSH, anon, you have hit on one of my fave tropes: outsider povs on my otp. i literally love involving their friends ahhh omg let’s think about this!!!!

so i’ve written before about how i rly want everyone else to see how Soft™ isak becomes around even (which u can read here)

and i feel like this would be a follow on from this????

bc, even though everyone obviously can see how much happier and lighter isak is now that he’s out and that he’s with even, those soft moments are still quite few and far between

bc, especially in the beginning, isak is v private about his relationship with even, still not 100% comfortable with showing affection in front of the others but he’s getting there slowly!!!!

which is why whenever the boy squad or anyone sees him being particularly melty around even they’re a mixture of incredulous and giddy bc isak and even are sO CUTE

having said all this, jonas is probably the only one that knows isak isn’t the grumpy, sarcastic persona that magnus, mahdi and kollektivet were used to

jonas has been friends with him since they were kids and he knows how soft isak is

he knows how much isak secretly cares about people and how quietly loving he can be

so he’s not really surprised when he sees isak being sweet with even - he feels a little bittersweet mostly because it makes him realise just how much of himself isak had been suppressing before and how unhappy he was. but it also make jonas so thrilled to see his best friend finally getting to be himself and be with someone who looks at him like he hung the moon

and the thing is, jonas is an observer.

he’s not obnoxiously loud and friendly like magnus, he’s not all sunshine smiles and jokes like mahdi, he takes a step back and just quietly notices people and how they’re feeling

and isak, man, isak is in love

jonas can see it so clearly

he can see it in the soft smiles and knowing looks isak and even throw each other at lunch when one of the boys is telling a story

he can see it in the way isak’s eyes linger on even down the hall after he’s kissed him goodbye at the lockers in the morning and walked away to get to his own class

he can see it in the way isak answers the phone with a quietly pleased, “halla,” whenever even is the one calling him

he can see it in the way he touches even so gently even when it’s just a casual touch to the back of his hand on top of the lunch table

he can see it all without isak having to tell him and he doesn’t push isak to divulge much detail because he knows isak still isn’t really used to this and doesn’t always know how to bring it up

so he asks isak the non-deep questions, just to check in, and every so often he’ll ask if things are going well because he wants to make sure his bro is happy and he leaves it at that

but one day they’re having a bit of a deep and meaningful (over a kebab, ofc) and they just sort of stumble onto the subject of isak and even

maybe it’s a little after even’s birthday (again, borrowing from another hc i wrote where i described that hahaha) and isak is telling jonas about even’s reaction to the lil home cinema he’d set up

and he’s got this huge smile on his face and this twinkle in his eyes as he says, “you should’ve seen his face, jonas! he looked so shocked. like i had the whole living room done up, you know? with the fairy lights and the blanket fort and i’d been subtly stealing all his favourite dvds from his room for like three weeks i have nO IDEA how he didn’t notice that and-”

isak pauses when he sees the fond smile jonas’ face and quirks an eyebrow. “what?”

jonas shakes his head and lets out a little laugh. “Nothing, man. you just seem really happy is all.”

isak does that tiny taken aback face like that day in his bedroom when even said he saw him the first day of school and ducks his head to hide his blushing face in his kebab

and he shrugs a little and says, “well, i mean, i love him, y’know?” before looking back up and meeting jonas’ gaze with a nervous smile

and it’s the smallest confession, said so softly and simply, like it’s a given, and that’s what makes it so monumental

but jonas doesn’t want to make isak freak out so he just nods and offers him a knowing smile before saying, “I thought so.”

isak laughs - a giddy sound that he probably would have tried to choke back before but does so freely now - and it’s just even more proof of how his relationship with even has changed him for the better

they turn back to their food a moment later before jonas decides he needs to say one more thing before they put the conversation to bed. “i’m not sure if he’s told you yet, but i’m pretty sure even loves you too.”

isak is smiling what magnus so affectionately calls his “Even smile” when he replies, “i thought so.”

#evak #isak valtersen #jonas noah vasquez #skam #mine #Anon #asks #i hope this makes u smile <3

279 notes · View notes