#Chapter 14: Still Waters Run Deep

[rumikoremembrances]

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Bury Me in Your Kiss

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

Warnings: implied smut/fade to black mdni (18+), angst, mentions of panic attack, some fluff, mentions of murder

Words: 6.5k

Synopsis: In the aftermath, you and Ghost figure out what happens next…

You are currently reading chapter 14 of The Roommate Series

The early morning light came through the window when you opened your eyes, casting the soft blue hue from the closed curtains drawn over it. You blinked into the darkness as the sudden ache in your body came back to you and you were all too aware of the hard mattress you laid on. There was a dull, throbbing pain from your head and pain from your splint wrist, so you took a deep breath as you prepared yourself to get up to get medicine.

“I’ll get it.” Ghost stopped you with a gentle hand on your arm, his groggy voice making you flinch.

“You don’t have to.” You told him but he was already sliding out of bed.

“It’s alright.”

You sighed and shut your eyes. You were exhausted from two nights of restless sleep, a combination of the shitty mattress and what happened to you. You desperately wanted to fall back asleep, your mood today already irritable despite it having barely even started.

You heard the bathroom sink running and when you opened your eyes again, Ghost sat on the edge of the bed beside you, a glass of water in one hand and medicine in the other.

Silently you sat up and took the medicine, your eyes not meeting Ghost’s while you drank most of the water.

“You can shower first.” Ghost offered but you shook your head, wincing from the pain.

“It’s too early for me.” You told him and he took the glass from you. “You have work.”

He nodded without another word and went to the bathroom. As soon as the shower turned on, your throat tightened and your vision blurred. 

It had been this way for two days. After the relief of being saved by Ghost had worn off your emotions were quick to overwhelm you. You had barely eaten and your appetite had disappeared any time you thought about eating. The lack of sleep made everything worse; you had been irritable lately, to the point where you lashed out at Ghost before you could stop yourself, leaving you with immense guilt afterwards.

You tried to make yourself numb to them, to push them down and just forget about what happened in hopes that maybe you would soon be able to go back to being normal but it rarely worked. Your nerves were still frayed even though you were safe.

Your body still felt like it was trapped in that dark room, your mind just waiting for the moment when he would come in and end your life-

Ghost said your name and that was when you realized you were crying.

You looked up at him and he didn’t hesitate to bring you into an embrace. You held onto him tightly, trying your hardest to not sob loud as he rubbed comforting circles into your back. You buried your face in his shoulder while you clutched his damp skin.

“I’m sorry.” You cried as you did your best to control your breathing. 

You weren’t sure what you were apologizing for; for crying for the hundredth time since you had come to the base, for snapping at him when he was trying to help, for being stupid enough to get kidnapped even though it wasn’t your fault…you didn’t know but it was the only thing you could say.

“It’s okay.” Ghost assured you softly. 

You’re not sure how long you spent crying into his shoulder, but when you were done there was more light coming inside the room and you were even more exhausted. Even when the tears stopped you still felt like you were on edge, like one thing would make it start all over again which only made you feel worse.

Ghost managed to get you in the shower, helping even when you told him he needed to work and that he had already taken a shower. He just shushed you and continued to help you without any complaint.

He offered to dry you off and help you get dressed, but you refused, feeling even more pathetic than before.

“I’m not helpless.” Your voice was weak as he wrapped a towel around you, but didn’t dry you off.

“I know.” He sighed and he stared at you with sad eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Despite your feelings you shook your head, knowing deep down that he was only doing it because he cared about you, because he wanted to take care of you like he always did. 

It was who he was…

You stared in shock as you watched him, Ghost, slam his fist repeatedly against your captor. The viciousness at which he maimed him, the way he pinned him down and beat him until he was nearly dead. You were terrified until he revealed it was him, until you realized that you were safe.

There was a knock on Ghost’s bedroom door and you jumped, pulling the towel over your body to conceal yourself before he left the bathroom. 

You stayed there, drying yourself off as you heard him and someone else talk in hushed voices. You didn’t want to listen to what they were saying but you caught on to a few of his words.

“...bad day…needs sleep…don’t overwhelm her…”

You tried to make yourself look presentable the best you could without looking in the mirror, too afraid to see what you looked like, before Ghost came back in the bathroom. You tried to give him a quick smile but he had a more serious look on his face that made you chew on your bottom lip.

“Laswell’s taking you to the doctor.” He said and you fidgeted with the towel. “It shouldn’t take long.”

“You’re not coming…?” 

You didn’t want to make it seem like you couldn’t go anywhere without him, but you weren’t sure if you could hold yourself together without him, especially when you were going to be with a stranger. You didn’t like it but it was unrealistic to think he’d always be with you, especially because of his job.

You could see that Ghost didn’t like it either, in fact you could see the poorly hidden annoyance on his face as he shook his head, giving you an apologetic look.

“There’s a few things I need to take care of.” He explained and you took a shaky breath. “I’ll be done before you get back.”

“I need to get dressed…”

You tried not to look unhappy when you met Laswell in the hall. You gave her a polite smile that she returned and she gave Ghost a nod. 

“We won’t be long.” She assured you both and when you looked back at him, he had the skull mask on. 

“I’ll be here when you get back.” He told you but didn’t move from his spot as he waited for you to be the one to leave.

You tensed up. Your mind began telling you that the moment you were out of his sight you were going to be taken again, that this time he wasn’t going to get to you in time and this was going to be the last time you ever saw him. 

Laswell said your name and you looked at her, hoping that you didn’t look as scared as you felt. She had a calm look on her face as she rested a gentle hand on your upper back, an attempt giving you comfort as well as the strength to walk away. 

And despite your fear you did without looking back, because if you saw Ghost you were sure you wouldn’t be able to leave. 

~

Ghost could barely hold himself back as he watched you leave. The past forty-eight hours he had been fighting between being so beyond rage that he wanted to storm the building that your captor was being detained in and finish the job, and wanting nothing more than to stay glued to your side.

His anxiety about being more than a couple feet away from you had gotten significantly worse. Before he didn’t like watching you leave to go to classes because he just wanted to be with you, but now he didn’t want you out of his sight in fear of your being taken again. 

He couldn’t live with himself if he let it happen again, if you got hurt because of him again…

All of this was his fault.

Information about how this happened hadn’t been revealed yet but Ghost didn’t care about the how, just that it happened. He was the one who had enemies, he was the one who dealt with deplorable people who would use civilians as bargaining chips, he was the one who had the bad life that you got caught up in because he stupidly believed he could fall in love with you without any consequences, not you.

This is why he had been alone for years before you came along, this is why he should’ve stayed alone. 

He walked towards the mess hall, his demeanor much like how he used to be, angry and cold with a glare that he hadn't worn since he was a sergeant. He tried not to fall back into the darkness, into the old anger that had gripped him tightly when he got back from Mexico.

But every time he saw you cry, every time he saw you in pain, he remembered how he should’ve killed the man. At least that way he would never get the chance to break out, never think of you, never do anything to hurt you again.

Exhaustion weighed heavily on Ghost’s shoulders but he barely paid attention to it. He didn’t sleep, nearly forced himself not to because the nightmares got worse but also because you could barely sleep yourself. 

You tossed and turned all night, shook and tried not to cry because you thought he was asleep but he couldn’t sleep knowing you might need him. You didn’t ask for his help once since you got here but that didn’t stop him from being ready to give you anything you needed. 

All of the pain you suffered…you didn’t deserve it. 

He’d take it away if he could, he’d let it become his if it meant you didn’t have to suffer anymore.

“Hey, Lt.” Soap greeted him as he sat down at their breakfast table. “Where’s yer girl?”

“Doctors with Laswell. Hopefully they can get her a therapist and medication.” He didn’t bother getting breakfast, he wasn’t hungry.

“Cap wants you to take it easy, he’s taking you off the rest of the mission.” Gaz spoke up and Ghost scoffed but didn’t argue.

There wasn’t much of a mission left. He doubted they would go back out in the field for anything other than more intel but they didn’t need anymore, now they needed to get through what they got.

But if he was officially off the mission that meant he could be with you, make sure that you were okay until you didn’t need him anymore. 

“Found a new place yet?” Soap wondered but Ghost shook his head.

“Haven’t even thought about it.” He huffed.

It was just another stresser, another thing piled on top of everything else.

They got you at your home, your shared home. They ruined your safe place, they could’ve killed you right there and left you there for him to find when he got back. He ruined it for you.

He’d find a new one, a better one just for you. He’d make sure everything would be up to your standards in case he didn’t stay.

Could he really leave you? He wasn’t sure if he was strong enough for it but he wasn’t sure if he could stay, he wasn’t sure if he could risk your life again because he selfishly wanted to be with you. He didn’t want to cause you more pain leaving but he didn’t want to potentially end your life by staying.

And on top of it all he’d never stop loving you, he’d never stop being in love with you, so being away from you would be like hell. His own personal, self-imposed hell. 

“She’s pretty badass.” Gaz said and Ghost couldn't help but smile.

“Yeah, you teach her any of that?” Soaped added on but he shook his head.

“That was all her.”

Underneath all the anger and guilt he did feel a sense of pride for you. You fought as best you could and it saved your life, made it easier for him to find you so he could save you too. 

You were a fighter. You fought his demons when they got too much for him and fought your own when they got too much for you, now you were fighting everyday because of this.

He hoped things would eventually get better sooner rather than later but he knew all too well how hard it was to come back from something like this. He knew how dark and awful it got some days, how scary it was to deal with it alone, how some days felt like it would never get better.

“...haven’t found out much from him.” He heard the tailend of what Gaz said but he didn’t need the full context to know who he was talking about.

“I could get it out of him today.” He stated confidently but he shook his head.

“Higher ups said no.”

Ghost tried not to let it get to him but it made him furious. They were only keeping an asset alive, someone they needed to get information from because he had kidnapped a special forces loved one, but he didn’t care. Keeping him alive was a risk not only for everyone else but especially for you too.

If he got out and hurt you again there would be hell to pay. Just thinking about it made him shake and he wished Price would just let him do it.

He knew Price would. He never let loose ends go but this was a game of patience, one that Ghost was losing easily.

The only thing stopping him from going on a warpath was you. You needed him and that trumped all of his anger because you were so much more important than that prick of a black market intelligence dealer.

“Ye just gotta wait.” Soap gave him a knowing look.

“I know.” He sighed and got up.

Ghost made his way to his office. He didn’t mind the paperwork, especially if it meant he had the option to do it in his room with you. He wasn’t supposed to, considering everything he worked with was confidential even if it was you, but he didn’t care. The only person who would say anything about it to him would be Price, and he didn’t exactly have a track record for doing things by the book.

His phone buzzed and he looked down to see a text from Price, saying he was needed for training instead.

He wanted to decline because training would take too long and you’d be back before he’d be done. He wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable sitting and watching a bunch of recruits train while he barked orders at them. 

But he still had a job to do, despite everything. 

Ghost went to training but told himself that he’d leave as soon as you got back. Soap would take over for him and then he’d spend the rest of his day doing paperwork by your side.

He tried his hardest to keep his eyes on the recruits and not on his phone. He had to rely on Price of Laswell to tell him when you got back because you still hadn’t gotten a new phone.

Everything of yours had to be replaced and he was grateful all of your pictures were backed up.

A new phone, a new flat, possibly a new university all because of him. He was surprised you weren’t angrier at him, that you hadn’t outright shut him out and told him to piss off. He ruined your life and the most you’ve done is snap at him because you were exhausted. 

He expected screaming, he expected you to tell him it was over, yet you clung to him more than ever.

Part of him was relieved. Part of him felt so much shame.

How could you still love him after this? He selfishly hoped that your feelings for him were still there even though realistically when you finally had the rest you needed and recovered enough, you would leave him.

It would be easier if you left him, if you proved to him that Simon was the only part of him that you loved so he could at least know he made a mistake.

One he wouldn’t make again because you were the only one he’d ever love.

An hour went by, then two. By the third hour he texted Laswell to update him on the situation and not even thirty minutes after that he tried to call her. 

He tried not to let his anxiety get the best of him but he couldn’t stand the fact that he wasn’t with you right now. He should be with you, he had to be with you in order to keep you safe.

What was taking so long? Was something wrong? Were the both of you in trouble and had no way of communicating it? 

Laswell didn’t answer and he was close to stealing someone’s car to find you when Price approached him.

“She’s back.” He told him and he felt immense relief. “I’ll take you to her.”

Ghost’s eyebrows knitted together but he followed Price without a single word. You were most likely back in his room so there was no need for him to be shown where you were unless there was something important that Price needed to tell him.

It wasn’t until the two of them made it into the empty hall that he spoke.

“Asset kept the information about her within his own group,” he began and Ghost clenched his jaw. “Laswell was up all night checking to see if he was telling the truth and he was. Rest of his men have been taken care of. She can stay at the university, but you both need a new place to live.”

“That’s all he said?” He scoffed and Price sighed.

“For now. It’s enough to give her a chance to put this behind her without further issues.”

Ghost’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t believe that. He knew all too well how badly things like this could come back to bite ten times harder than the first. He wasn’t about to let that happen again, especially when he had to be deployed and wouldn’t be readily available to you.

If he stayed he could protect you but he still put you at risk.

“Preventing further issues would be getting rid of him.” He stopped in the hall and gave his captain a sharp look. “It lowers the risk of him trying to get revenge himself or by telling someone else.”

Price stared at him for a moment, his eyes cold and knowing. There was a certain edge to them that would send others turning the opposite direction with a quick apology. However, the look wasn’t necessarily directed at Ghost but more so at the situation in front of them.

He had a plan but Ghost needed verbal confirmation.

“Give it a few days.” That was the only thing Price said before he began to walk down the hall again.

Ghost caught up to him and noticed that while he still had his regular seriousness about him, Price gave him a soft smile.

“She got lost coming back.” He teased lightly and Ghost frowned. “Refused help from Laswell but then couldn’t find her way around. Recruits avoided her like the plague because of her shadow.”

“Is she okay?” He worried but Price assured him quickly.

“She’s fine. I brought her back to your room and then got you.”

He sighed and they made it to his room. The door was shut and he didn’t hear you on the other side, which was a good sign that you weren’t crying but a bad sign if you were having a panic attack.

“We’ll talk more later.” Price gave him a pat on the shoulder before he left.

Ghost entered his room without a second thought. 

He readied himself to help you, to dry your tears and hold you if you needed it, but instead you were lying motionless on the bed. He stood in the doorway for a moment, waiting to see if you were just resting your eyes or if you had truly fallen asleep. 

When he noticed your steady breathing, he couldn’t help but feel deep relief knowing that you finally managed to get some rest. 

He stepped inside as quietly as he could, careful to not make any noise as he walked over to the bed and grabbed the blanket. He was careful as he laid it over you, trying his best not to touch or disturb you as he tucked you in.

He stared at your temple where the man had hit you and studied the wound that was steri-stripped together. He had watched the medics clean and patch you up, put a splint on your wrist and tell the both of you that you had a pretty severe concussion. He remembered how held his hand with a death grip, how you couldn’t stop crying, begging for him to stay.

You didn’t sleep at all that night.

Ghost texted Gaz to bring him his laptop and he settled at his desk, his eyes never leaving you.

His chest was heavy with conflict but he was grateful you were still here.

~

You woke up slowly. 

After you got back from the doctors and embarrassingly got lost, you decided to wait for him. You were beyond exhausted, having gone through an hour of therapy and two hours of speaking with doctors about medication and your recovery. You didn’t expect yourself to fall asleep but you were grateful for it because you weren’t sure if you’d get the chance to go to sleep later tonight.

You heard clicks from a keyboard and opened your eyes to see Ghost working at his desk right beside you. You watched him type away at a fast pace, his attention on the screen, which gave you the perfect opportunity to study the mask.

You saw it once before, when he came home bleeding it out, but you hadn’t got a good look at it. 

A skull plate sewn into a cloth mask you’d seen him wear before, expertly crafted so you knew he had made it. The purpose for it didn’t make sense to you until you thought about how it didn't work for you because you already knew him. It was meant to conceal his identity, keep it separate from his life and work, to avoid what happened to you, and it worked up until now.

It separated you from him however. He treated you all the same he would without it, but here he wasn’t your Simon, he was Ghost. 

He was a lot more serious, had a reputation with those he worked with, one that you assumed held a lot of respect considering none of the recruits stuck around you when you entered a room. They knew him as the man who nearly beat your captor to death, you knew him as the man who stubbornly washed the dishes for you.

He didn’t want you to see that side of him and yet knowing more about it, it didn’t seem to matter.

Perhaps it was because you were more relaxed and numb now. Your emotions slowly started to level to the point where you didn’t have to worry about imploding on yourself, especially now that a therapist told you ways to cope better, and having rested helped out more too.

To you Ghost and Simon were the same. It only made sense that he was quick to act and violent in certain situations, especially in the name to protect you. 

He never hurt you and loved you all the same.

You shifted on the bed and he stopped what he was doing. He turned to you and you both stared at each other for a moment, drinking in each other after the chaos of the past two days before you outstretched your good hand to him.

Ghost took it immediately, holding it gently as he turned all of his attention towards you. He rubbed his thumb across your knuckles and threaded his fingers with yours as he looked at you with concern.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly and you shrugged.

“Not much.” You mumbled and noticed the way his eyes fell, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “I think it’s for the best right now.”

“Are you hungry? Dinner’s soon.”

You were hungry but anytime you thought about eating anything you felt sick. You knew you had to eat something and you didn’t want to make him feel worse, having noticed the guilt in his eyes ever since he rescued you.

You didn’t know the extent of how hard this was for him too, how much guilt he had for what happened but you knew it was there. You could see it in the way he 

You didn’t want to cause him any more grief.

“I can try to eat something.” You said, trying to hide your disgust for but it was like he saw through you.

“I can get something easy for you, yeah?” He offered hopefully and you tried to give him a smile. 

“Don’t trouble yourself over it.”

Ghost looked as if he wanted to say something but he didn’t. Instead he directed some of his attention to the laptop that sat on his desk, nodding towards it so you would look at it as well.

“Found a few new flats.” He began and you slowly sat up, keeping your hand in his. “You should look at them to see if you like ‘em.”

“Do you like any of them?” You wondered.

There was a slight hesitation from Ghost that made you pause. You looked at him carefully but because of the mask you had no clue what his face looked like, making it nearly impossible to read him. 

You didn’t like that, didn’t like the fact that he was hidden from you now, that you could no longer study his face to see her true expression because now all you had to go off was a mask that was the literal symbol of death. You couldn’t even look into his eyes to get some sort of idea as he turned away from you.

“One or two.” He grabbed the laptop and set it next to you. “You can look at them while I get dinner.”

“We can find better ones.” You were a little more serious as you stared at him. “I want us both to be happy since we’re moving together.”

He hummed, not in agreement but with acknowledgement, as he stood up to leave. He didn’t look at you, maybe because he couldn’t stand to look at you or maybe he felt too guilty.

A quick surge of panic went through you and you fought against it, breathing deeply as your therapist told you, before you shot up from the bed. You rushed up to him and grabbed the fabric of his shirt with a firm tug to stop him.

Ghost tensed up but stopped. He looked back at you with unreadable eyes but that didn’t stop the desperation in your chest. 

“We are moving together…right?” You hated how your voice shook but you didn’t want to believe he’d leave you.

Were you being too much? Were you too much of a burden, too broken and upset for him? You didn’t want to be the reason why he left, the reason why you would lose him forever.

“I-I’m trying to get better, I promise I will-”

“No.” 

Ghost took your face into his hands, making you look into his eyes. He had the most serious look in them that you had ever seen directed at you and if it weren’t for the fact that he caressed his thumbs across your cheeks you would’ve thought he was angry at you. 

Instead you saw a flash of fear, just like the day he had tried to teach you how to shoot a gun, before he took a deep breath.

“Don’t ever think that you’re too much for me.” He said without hesitation and you swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in your throat. “I’d do this everyday if you let me.”

“Then why do you want to leave?” You could barely ask it above as whisper as a few tears escaped your eyes.

He wiped them away, his hands shaking slightly before he pulled you into a hug you immediately melted into. Unlike the other times he held you, this was also for him and you were determined to give him as much comfort as you could manage while you tried your hardest to calm down.

You could hear his heart racing and you rubbed circles into his back. You leaned into him when he tightened his hold on you and for a moment neither of you said anything.

It was easier to calm down this time. Part of it was the help you received but most of it was from Ghost. All the other times he held you it was for your sake, making him close a part of himself away from you in order to put you first.

Now it was like he was truly coming to terms with what happened. What happened hurt him too even if he didn’t want to admit it to anyone, even you.

After the both of you composed yourselves he spoke.

“I don’t want to.” His voice was quiet. “But I’m…afraid.”

You pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. Dark brown met yours and in them you could see a mix of fear and sadness, something that made your heart hurt for him. You kept your hands on him, giving him some kind of touch to ground him.

“This never should’ve happened. You weren’t supposed to see or be a part of this.” He struggled to hold eye contact with you as he spoke. “I put you in danger…and I’m afraid it’ll happen again if I stay.”

He had a point and you understood that. You didn’t blame him for what happened but you weren’t dumb to say that he hadn’t been an indirect cause of it. If you had never met him, had never gotten involved with him then your captor never would’ve tried to use you to get what he wanted.

It was what Ghost had warned you about before and you hadn’t really understood until it happened to you.

Ghost worked with dangerous people, his life was dangerous even when he took off the mask and became Simon again. He was always going to be a target in one way or another, which meant you were going to be too. 

But none of that mattered to you, not when it was him, not when it was your Simon, your Ghost.

“I can’t say it won’t because I don’t know.” You said, the uncertainty made you feel anxious but you pushed it down. “But I do know that I can’t see my future without you.”

“The risk is too high.” He shook his head but you stopped him.

“There's a risk whether you stay or go. I’m willing to take it if you’re with me.”

He looked conflicted

“You didn’t want me to know about Ghost but this is you. This life, your job is a part of you and I’m in love with all of you. I’ll take the chance of getting kidnapped or dying to stay with you because at least I got to live my life with you in it.”

“Love.” 

He rested his forehead against yours again and shut his eyes.

The thought of you dying hurt him too much just as the thought of him dying hurt you, but that was the reality of your relationship. There was a possibility one of you might die and leave the other, so why would you spend it apart when you could live together instead?

“I want us to have a good life.” He said. “I can’t see myself without you which is why if I’m the reason you’re gone…I couldn’t live with myself.”

“It’ll be okay.” You caressed his face through the mask. “We’ve made it work before, we can do it again.”

For three years you were safe. The likelihood of this happening again would still be small especially after this, the two of you and the rest of his teammates would take as many precautions as you possibly could before letting it happen again. 

“I hurt people.” He warned softly, that sense of doubt within him coming out as he looked deep into your eyes. He wasn’t trying to scare you or push you away, but he wanted to give you one last chance to leave him if you wanted. “I have enemies, I’ve done worse than what you saw.”

But you were so far deep in love with him that it didn’t matter.

“I want you, Ghost.” You said. “I love you.”

Ghost shut his eyes for a moment, seemingly resolving the last of the conflict inside him before he pulled away. He went to pull his mask off but you stopped him, causing him to give you a confused look. 

You leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on his lips through the mask. Then, as if you were unwrapping something delicate, you pulled up the mask just high enough to where you had access to his lips, the ones you had kissed so many times before, and kissed him again.

It was like Ghost was trying to devour you. He stole your breath as he placed his hands on your hips and pulled you into his chest. His hands gripped you as if you’d disappear, careful to not hurt you in any places that were bruised, and kissed you with every bit of emotion inside his chest. Desperation, relief, love.

You kissed him back just as fervently, holding onto him to keep his lips on you as if either of you would think to pull away. Your chest felt warm and like your heart was going to burst out of it, like you were reconnecting with him after a lifelong time apart.

It was only a day. The both of you had been away from each other for only a day and yet it felt like this was the first time you’d kissed him in months.

Ghost pulled away when the two of you needed air but instead of looking at you, he began to trail kisses from your mouth to your jaw. His lips were warm as he pressed a kiss underneath your jaw, then your ear before he stopped.

“I love you.”

Barely above a whisper but only for you.

You grinned. Giddiness filled up inside your chest and you couldn’t help but let out a giggle, and then a laugh. You pulled Ghost back so you could look at him and he smiled, wide and unabashed as you felt true happiness for the first time in days.

You both went to kiss each other again, bumping noses with how quick you were but only laughed about it before you locked him into another kiss. You were careful leading him back to the bed where he gently laid you down and hovered above you. 

His hands slid up your shirt and palmed your breast as you leaned into him. He whispered sweet nothings into your ears, running his hands across your skin as you sighed deeply into his mouth.

You helped him throw your shirt on the floor, pulling at his own while his hand slipped under the waistband of your shorts.

Your eyes fluttered shut and all that was left was him.

You both missed dinner, however neither of you cared all that much especially when Ghost, Simon, offered to just get take out if you wanted. After eating a little of the food he had gotten, the two of you spent the rest of the evening in his room searching through new flats together or trying hard to keep yourselves quiet so as not to bring any attention to the two of you in your private moments.

When the two of you had settled in for bed, you found yourself staring at the door unable to fall asleep. 

You were safe, you knew you were especially in the arms of Simon, but in the back of your mind you couldn’t get rid of the irrational fear that had taken hold. Someone, the man, could come back while you were asleep and kill you before you could fight back. He could have someone else do it, have connections or do something to get you.

You took a deep breath to calm your racing heart and Simon gave you a quick squeeze.

“Simon?” You asked softly and he hummed. “Can we put something in front of the door?”

“Is the chair okay?” He wondered and you nodded.

Simon got up without another word and put his desk chair underneath the doorknob. He made sure it was secure and let you watch him put it there before he crawled back in bed with you, pulling you into his chest.

You felt a little pathetic for having to put something in front of the door to make you feel safe in a top level security military base just to ease the anxiety inside you. You also felt bad that he had to do it.

“I’m sorry.” You breathed out but he grunted.

“I used to do the same thing when I got back from Mexico.” He assured you and while that eased some of the shame you frowned at his pain. “Before we shared a bed, sometimes I did it at the flat.”

You teared up. Simon was still healing and yet he had to do the same things you did to ease his mind. You weren’t alone in your pain, even if it was different, but when you looked at the road ahead of you, the way that it took so long for you to feel less pain and knowing that it would come back made you believe that this was it.

You were always going to be afraid, you were always going to be stuck.

“Will I get better?” You felt childish for asking but you needed that reassurance.

“Yes.” He said firmly, as if there was no doubt that you would. “But I’ll be here when you aren’t.”

A few tears rolled down your face but you quickly wiped them away. You let out a shaky breath and rolled over, hiding your face in his chest as he held you. You listened to his steady heart and smiled when he pressed a soft kiss to your temple, the place where the man had hit you. 

It would be long and hard, but having him by your side made it no so scary.

link to part 15

A/n: this is like the one chapter that i had truly planned out from the beginning lol

Tags: @kat-nee @alexwashere82 @suicidal-marshmellow @shuttlelauncher81 @poohkie90 @reiya-djarin @k4marina @mionacaped @igotmajordaddyissues @xxghostyx @pasta-m1lk @imstargazingx @jacksonpleasestopkillingme @kgive @konig-is-bbygrl @lialacleaf @frazie99 @gremlin-ghuleh @spencerreidisbae123 @writingmysanity @lillianastuff @alastorhazbin @reid490 @lockleywife @sheepselecric @dead-noodles @marshmallowtraver @sinclairbrosbathmat @sofasoap @crazyfandomist @iwmtfm @oiiviagrande @genesis1363 @revyjerry @guttabutta00 @greenkiki @d4z01 @quietlyignoringyou @mysticalgalaxysalad @almightywdm @mavieemav @lycheedr3ams @multitargaryen @fruitymoonbeams-blog @lilpothoscuttings @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @adriennepoison

[andvys]

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 14

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of weed and alcohol, mentions of abuse, but this chapter is mostly fluff

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler , slight Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: You spent the morning with your friends and Steve.

Word count: 6k+

series masterlist

-

The sunlight peaks through the curtains in your bedroom, pulling you out of your deep slumber. You squint your eyes when you open them, even the little brightness is too much for you. You pull the blanket higher and you close your eyes again when you feel the pounding in your head. Everything from the previous night comes rushing back to you when you hear the soft snores next to you and remember that Robin slept over. 

The date, Ray and his awful actions and words, Reefer Rick’s party, Eddie, and you running away from him, the gas station, the phone call.

Oh god. Steve.

You internally groan at your actions. Why him out of all people?

But you remember how caring he was, how worried he looked when he saw you. 

You open your eyes and push the blanket off of you to look down at yourself, at the bruises Ray had left on you, the ones on your wrists. It makes you feel sick. How could you have said yes to a date with him? How could you not see the obvious signs that he was a bad person? How could you let his words get to you?

You are not even sure what was worse, his words or his actions?

His actions might have hurt you and left a wound of fear inside of you but his words, god his words, were awful. He voiced all your insecurities, making you feel more unlovable than you have felt already. He made you feel worthless, like a piece of meat, for anyone to take. 

‘You’re a good fuck and that’s all you’ll ever be, that’s why Harrington dumped you, you’re not fucking interesting enough to keep around’

You take a deep breath, forcing the tears away that have welled up in your eyes. You sit up, only briefly glancing at the bruises on your thighs. You need to put some different clothes on, so you don’t have to see these. 

You tiptoe into the bathroom, not wanting to wake up Robin. You turn on the light and close the door, with a sigh, you turn to look at yourself in the mirror and your stomach drops when you notice the hickeys on your neck. Placing your hand over them, you clench your jaw in anger. 

You wish you would have done more than just slap him. You wish his words didn’t get to you the way they did. You wish you didn’t get so drunk last night. You wish you didn’t show them how hurt you were. 

You grip the counter tightly, letting your head hang low as you try to calm your breathing. 

You remember how vulnerable you made yourself look in front of Steve, in front of your ex boyfriend. You remember the look on Eddie’s face when he found you at Rick’s boathouse. 

How will you face them again? How will you look into their eyes after last night? You feel ashamed and weak, you thought that you wouldn’t feel that way anymore. You thought that you were okay now, that you moved on from the bad thoughts in your head, that they had no power over you anymore but they still do, otherwise his words wouldn’t have hurt so much. 

Were you lying to yourself all this time? Have you not moved on, after all?

A knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts. 

“Y/n? Are you okay?” Robin asks. 

“Yeah! I’ll be right out.”

“Okay.”

You quickly brush your teeth and wash your face with cold water, hoping that it will get rid of some of the swelling in your eyes. You use some concealer to cover up the circles under your eyes and the hickeys on your neck, trying to make yourself look a little better by adding some make up. You brush your hair and take one last look in the mirror before you leave the bathroom. 

You smile a little when you see the confused look on Robin’s face when she tries to make your bed the way you always do it. Trying to place the pillows on your bed, correctly. 

“Hey.”

She turns to face you, smiling at you, “good morning!” She says, holding up one of your pillows, “you have way too many pillows!” 

You chuckle, “I love them,” you shrug as you walk towards your closet, you open the door and pick out some clothes – pants and a big sweater. You can feel her eyes on you, you know what she is thinking. 

“How uh, how did you sleep?” She asks and turns away from you when you begin to change into different clothes. 

“Good,” you mumble, “surprisingly.”

“That’s good,” Robin says, scratching the back of her head as she doesn’t know what else to say. She glances at you, noticing that you are putting on jeans. 

“Why are you wearing jeans at home?” She mumbles. 

“Uh, I thought that we could go out for breakfast!” You say with a fake enthusiasm in your voice. 

Robin knows exactly what you are doing, you are pretending to be okay, when you are clearly not. She doesn’t comment on it though, not right now.

“I need coffee a-and maybe some pancakes or something,” you mumble, putting on your sweatshirt, “I’m starving.”

Robin nods, “uh yeah, breakfast sounds good.”  

She looks out the window when she hears a car pulling up to your driveway. 

“Hey, your mom is home.”

“Oh yeah, she’s working the night shifts this week,” you mumble as you turn around to face her. She is already looking at you, still clutching the pillow to her chest as she eyes you with the same worried look in her eyes you saw last night. You are grateful to have her. She took care of you the way Chrissy and Heather did after Steve left you. She wiped your tears, picked out fresh clothes for you when you went to the bathroom to take a shower, she combed your hair and hugged you tightly when you broke down again and cried yourself to sleep.

You look down, pressing your hands together, you fidget with your fingers as you take slow breaths. 

“Thank you, Robin,” you whisper, “for everything.”

Her gaze softens, she throws the pillow on your bed and walks towards you. 

“Hey,” she whispers, trying to look into your eyes, “there’s no need to thank me, okay?”

You lift your head back up, meeting her eyes. 

“That’s what friends are for, we’re there for each other, no matter what, okay?” 

Her eyes are genuine, a sad smile is tugging at her lips. 

You nod at her words, smiling, “yeah.”

She takes your hand, squeezing it tightly. Her eyes shift away for a moment and she sighs, “I’m never letting you go on a date again,” she mumbles, “the only men who are allowed to be in your presence are Eddie and his uncle,” she says, making you chuckle. 

“And maybe douchebag Steve who didn’t seem like a douchebag last night,” she says, rolling her eyes. 

At the mention of Eddie and Steve, you remember that they are both still here, probably sleeping in the living room. The sight of both of them in your house will definitely confuse your mom. 

“Right, Steve,” you mumble as you walk towards your bedroom door. When you open it, you don’t expect Eddie and Steve to fall into your room. 

Startled, you jump back and look down at them with a confused look on your face. They both look just as confused as they take in their surroundings with tired eyes. Eddie rubs the back of his head, groaning. Steve looks at Eddie with a frown on his face before his eyes meet yours and he seems to remember last night's events. 

Robin is chuckling behind you as she eyes the both of them. 

Eddie’s hair is a mess, he looks tired and in pain. Steve’s hair looks good, of course. Nothing can ruin his hair, not even a bad sleep.

Your mom halts in her tracks as she’s just coming up the stairs, she raises her brows as she eyes the four of you. She looks at Eddie, who leans back, giving her a lazy smile and a wave.

“Hi!” Robin says, cheerfully, waving at your mom. 

“Good morning, kids,” your mom says, chuckling in amusement, “I didn’t know you had a sleepover, y/n.” 

“I uh– yeah, it was um spontaneous,” you chuckle nervously, hoping that she doesn’t notice the puffiness in your eyes. You’re glad you didn’t tell her about the date, you don’t want her to know what happened, she was worried about you enough after Steve left you, you don’t want to cause her any more distress.

Eddie is still rubbing the back of his head and Steve is avoiding to look at your mom, one look at him is enough for you to see the flushed cheeks and the shame in his eyes. Your mom is looking at him and it makes him uncomfortable. 

Steve hasn’t seen her in a long time, he doesn’t know what she thinks of him after what he did to you. 

“And you let your friends sleep on the floor instead of the guest room?” She chuckles.

“Uh–”

“Oh they totally forgot about us when they wanted to gossip about Mrs. Click’s crush on Mr. Higgins,” Eddie jokes. 

Steve narrows his eyes at Eddie, “what the hell,” he mumbles under his breath. 

Robin fake gasps, “how do you know?”

Eddie turns around, looking up at Robin, he winks at her, “my eyes and ears are everywhere, Buckley.”

“Right,” she mumbles, “can we go get some breakfast now? I’m starving.”

Your mom eyes you slowly and you instantly feel uncomfortable, you know that she knows that something is wrong. 

“Y/n.”

You meet her eyes, giving her a small smile, “yes?” You ask, hoping that she won’t ask any questions, especially not right now. 

Your friends fall silent as well, looking between the two of you. 

“We should have lunch together later.”

You sigh in relief, nodding at her, “yeah, I’d like that.”

She smiles at you and then she looks down at Steve, who finally finds the courage to look at her. 

“It was nice seeing you again, Steve.”

Steve’s eyes widen, he feels a little shocked, he knows how protective your mom is of you, he figured he wasn’t welcome here any longer after what he did but he still is, he will always have a place in your home. 

But, this just makes him feel even more guilty. He always got along with your mom and your dad when he was still here. 

The smile on her face is genuine and it makes him feel like the biggest asshole in the world, not only did he hurt you, he also must’ve disappointed her. Your mom was like a second mom to him, she took care of him when his parents weren’t around. He didn’t just lose you by pushing you away, he also lost his second family.

He smiles at her, “you too,” he says, nervously. 

When your mom disappears into her bedroom, both Eddie and Steve jump up and turn to face you, the same worried looks from the previous night take over their faces, they scan your face, your whole body, you hate it. 

Before either of them can open their mouths to ask any questions, Robin pushes you out of your bedroom, sensing your discomfort. 

“Let’s go eat pancakes!” She says, cheerfully. 

Eddie and Steve glance at each other with frowns on their faces. You and Robin are already rushing down the stairs. 

“Are you coming?” Robin calls for them. 

“Yeah,” Eddie mumbles, looking away from Steve, he reaches for his jacket on the floor and follows you two downstairs. 

“Wait, where are we going?” 

“The diner, where else?” Robin says as she glances up at Eddie. 

Steve hesitates, he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. 

“Come on, dude.”

Steve hesitates, he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. 

“Come on, dude.”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” he mumbles, taking a peek into your room before he leaves too.

-

Steve notices the way you are avoiding his eyes, the way you so desperately try to pretend to be okay. You have always done this, since you were little kids. You have always pretended to be okay when you clearly weren’t. Whether it was your parents fighting that upset you, or something happening in school, you never showed how sad or scared you were, never. He only found out about it the night before your birthday, that you were hiding your feelings, your true feelings. 

You also did this after he left you, back then, he was hurt, even though he shouldn’t have been, after all it was his decision to dump you. For some reason, he was blinded and distracted by so many things that he didn’t realize that you didn’t move on so quickly when you stopped acknowledging him, you simply pretended to be okay, so you wouldn’t seem so vulnerable and heartbroken. 

Twelve year old Steve seemed to have known you better than the Steve, last year. 

He feels out of place, even with you here across from him. You sit next to Eddie, sipping on black coffee. You used to hate black coffee. He keeps looking back and forth between you and Eddie, trying to figure something out. Despite the things that Eddie told him last night, he can’t help but doubt his words and feelings. 

Eddie keeps glancing at you, eying you to make sure that you feel okay. 

But he doesn’t push you to talk, he doesn’t ask any questions, neither does Robin. They show you that they are there for you and that they are here to listen, whenever you are ready to talk. 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you mumble as you place your mug on the table, “can you order for me?” You ask no one in particular before you leave, abruptly. 

Eddie cranes his neck to watch you and Steve turns around as well, watching you walk past the counter and disappearing in the small hallway. 

“So,” Robin says, loudly as she slams the menu back on the table, startling the two of them, “what’s your order, dingus?” 

Steve furrows his brows, he turns to face the girl next to him, she is looking back at him. Confused, he glances at Eddie who is smirking at him, “don’t look at me, she’s talking to you.”

“Dingus!?”

“Yeah, you’re a dingus,” Robin mumbles, “I could call you something else, I got a list of suggestions, I could go with–”

“Yeah okay, I got it,” Steve says, rolling his eyes. 

Eddie chuckles, “I think he likes pancakes with raisins.” 

Steve scrunches his face up in disgust, “why would you think that?” He asks, dramatically. 

“Cause you’re weird. There’s chocolate chip pancakes on the menu,” Eddie explains, pointing to the menu in his hand, grinning at Steve who looks annoyed already, “but you’d be the type to go for the raisins.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Steve murmurs, shaking his head.

“You could also place both options in front of you and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.” 

Robin chuckles. 

Steve looks confused.

And Eddie looks amused by his confusion. 

Steve has a feeling that this is no longer about pancakes. 

When the waitress comes over to take their order, Robin is the first to speak up. Ordering herself her favorite waffles.

“Alright and you gentlemen?” The waitress asks, looking between Steve and Eddie. 

“I’ll have the chocolate chip pancakes,” Steve says, glaring at Eddie.

Eddie snorts, he crosses his arms over his chest and tears his eyes away from Steve. 

The waitress writes down the order, with a sigh, she turns to Eddie. 

“I’ll also take the chocolate chip pancakes,” he says, looking back at Steve, “make it two, please.” He says, ordering for you. 

“Y/n likes blueberry pancakes,” Steve mumbles, “she never ordered chocolate chip ones.” 

“Yes, she does. She orders them all the time.” 

Robin’s eyes flicker back and forth, looking amused as she watches them.

The waitress rolls her eyes, she places her hand on her hip and sighs again. 

“She always ordered blueberry pancakes,” Steve mumbles, his mouth twisting. 

“Well now she doesn’t,” Eddie shrugs, “she loves chocolate.”

Robin almost feels embarrassed but this is too funny, even with the annoyed waitress watching them and the other guests turning their heads to look at the two. 

Steve sighs, “yeah but she loves blueberries.”

“Dude, I know her better,” Eddie mumbles. 

“What!? I knew her all my life,” Steve exclaims.

“Yeah and then you dumped her for the r–”

Robin coughs loudly, she waves her hand, shushing both of them, “how about chocolate chip pancakes and blueberries on the side?” She asks, holding her hands up. 

The older woman gives her a look that says ‘thank you’, she huffs as she writes down the last order before she walks off. 

“Jesus, what was that? Got along a little too well last night or something?” She mumbles, narrowing her eyes at them both.

They both ignore her question. 

Steve huffs, looking down. 

Eddie looks unbothered, he looks out the window and begins to whistle, like nothing happened. 

When you come back, you instantly notice the look on Steve’s face, he looks annoyed. Robin looks amused and Eddie, he looks content. You sit down next to him again. All three of them turn to look at you – eyes filled with worry. God, you are already sick of the concerned looks. You appreciate them caring so much but it makes you feel weak when they look at you that way. None of them mentioned anything from the previous night yet and you know they won’t, at least not now, they don’t want to trigger you. 

With a sigh, you lean back and reach for your mug again. 

“I’m okay, guys,” you say, being the first to bring it up, “stop looking at me like that, please. Last night was horrible but it could have been worse, I got away, nothing happened. I got drunk and tried some of Rick’s new weed which was probably more than just weed but whatever.”

Nothing happened? Steve thinks to himself as he feels himself getting angry again. The same rage he felt last night, comes back, just worse this time when he looks at your puffy eyes. 

Eddie’s eyes flash with irritation but he doesn’t say anything, he just watches you. Whatever you say, whatever you will ask of them won’t stop him or Steve to go after Ray. Their eyes meet and they hold eye contact for a moment. You don’t notice it, too busy trying to convince them that you are okay. Robin narrows her eyes at them, watching them. 

“I appreciate you guys,” you pause, glancing at Steve’s, who’s eyes soften when they meet yours, “all of you.”

You break eye contact with him quickly, looking down at your hands. 

“But really, I don’t need you guys to worry about me. I’m okay, really.”

You are not and they all know it. 

Eddie feels the urge to pull you into his arms, to comfort you the way he always does but instead, he puts his hand over yours, squeezing it tightly. You turn your head to look at him, giving him a small smile. 

Steve watches your interaction closely, he watches the way you look at him, he watches the way you smile at him, the way you don’t push his hand away. It feels odd to watch you be so comfortable with another guy. He may never get used to this sight. 

“I know you don’t believe me but can we please just pretend that everything is fine?” You ask them, “like we’re all just friends going out for breakfast together?”

Everyone freezes a little, glancing at each other with weird looks in their eyes. It’s almost comical, watching them look so horrified at your request. 

If someone had told you that you would be sitting here with your ex boyfriend and your new friends – ones that Steve would have never even talked to a year back, you would have looked at them in confusion. 

This is certainly an odd circle. Sure, you and Steve aren’t exactly on the top of the popular people anymore, Steve got dethroned by Billy Hargrove and you, you are still the head cheerleader, they still let you have that stupid title that you couldn’t care less about but you see the looks, the glares of the girls from the cheer squad, the giggles and whispers behind your back. To them, you are one of the ‘freaks’ now. You and Steve aren’t the ‘it’ couple anymore, you are just two strangers now, running in two different circles and still, you are here sitting across from each other with your friends beside you. 

You can’t even help but laugh. 

This is so odd. 

Steve furrows his brows, Eddie too as he smiles, “what’s so funny?”

You shake your head, “nothing.”

Robin chuckles at the amused look on your face. 

“This is just weird,” you giggle, “King Steve at a table with the ‘freaks’.”

Eddie snorts at your words and Robin chuckles, nodding. 

Steve though, he stares at you. He doesn’t think that Eddie is a freak, not anymore. He never thought that Robin was a freak, if he is being honest with himself, he never paid much attention to her, not until he saw her with you. Steve certainly never saw you as a freak. He may have been the popular one first, but he always thought that you were way above him. Now you consider yourself to be one of the freaks and it makes him feel very out of place. 

“I’m not King Steve anymore, y/n.” 

You raise your brows and tilt your head, scanning the look on his face. He is serious about this, though he looks flustered when he feels the other two pairs of eyes on him. He looks down, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. 

“I-I know I was a dick–”

“Was,” Eddie snorts, earning a kick to the shin from Robin, who glares at them, mouthing ‘shut up’.

He rolls his eyes at her and turns back to Steve. 

“I just wanna say I’m sorry for the way I treated you guys,” he says, finally looking up to face Robin and Eddie, “and you.” His eyes meet yours and you swallow the lump in your throat, unable to look at him any longer, you look down. 

Eddie and Robin look surprised. 

“Are you okay, Steve?” Eddie smirks, “you didn’t fall on your head or something did ya?” 

Steve rolls his eyes, he huffs, “no, I don’t think so,” he jokes, smiling a little. 

You look at him through your lashes, you watch the smile on his face growing bigger when Eddie continues to joke around. You watch the way his eyes flash with amusement, the way they crinkle when finally, a laugh falls from his lips and you see a kind look in his eyes. You see a glimpse of the guy you once used to have a crush on, the guy he was before you fell in love with him, the guy who used to make you smile, the guy who used to surprise you, the guy who used to treat you like his princess and right here is where you realize that maybe, things would have been better if you never became more than what you had been before you started dating. 

Maybe things wouldn’t had turned out this way. Maybe you wouldn’t have to deal with a broken heart. Maybe you wouldn’t sit here missing the past. Maybe you would still have each other. 

Robin watches you when you watch him. She is not surprised to see that look in your eyes but it makes her sad. 

You finally tear your eyes away from him when the food arrives and you get a plate of chocolate chip pancakes with blueberries on the side. A confused smile appears on your face and you look around. 

“Who ordered for me?”

“I did,” Robin says, “these two wouldn’t stop fighting about your order, he said you like blueberry pancakes,” she points to Steve, “and this one says you like chocolate chip pancakes,” she nudges her chin towards Eddie. 

“Oh,” you mumble, looking down at the food in front of you, you eye the blueberries. 

“You don’t like blueberry pancakes anymore?” Steve asks. 

“Uh I do, I just don’t eat them anymore,” you shrug, looking at him for a second and that second is enough for you to see the sad look in his eyes. He knows why you don’t eat them anymore, they remind you of him and of all the breakfast dates you used to have here. 

“Hey, we could’ve ordered you a meatloaf instead,” Eddie jokes, trying to kill the tension. 

“Chocolate chip pancakes are just fine, Eddie,” you chuckle and reach for the fork, “but meatloaf is good but only the one Steve’s mom makes though.”

Eddie watches the way Steve’s eyes are still filled with sadness, even more so now at your words. He gets lost in his thoughts as he watches you. 

Steve remembers all the times you stayed over for dinner, even when you were just friends. You loved helping his mom out in the kitchen and you loved the food she always cooked. 

“It was like my favorite food when I was a kid, she’s a great cook.” 

You are reminiscing, and you look content while doing it, like there’s no ounce of sadness inside of you when you think of certain things from the past. 

Are you not sad thinking about the past? Steve wonders. 

“My mom always loved the bake,” Eddie says, smiling at the memory of her, “you would have loved her,” he says, nudging your shoulder. 

“I know I would,” you smile at him and lean your head on his shoulder, “I love you, Eds. Of course I’d love her.”

Steve has to restrain himself to keep his jaw from dropping, his heart falls as he stares at the two of you. You take a bite of your food as you glance up at Eddie who is smiling down at you. 

What? You what?

He feels that hollowness in his chest, the one he always felt after he left you. He feels that sickening feeling of jealousy and it makes him feel so horrible. He tries not to let it show, he tries to pretend to be okay, he tries to pretend that he is not bothered by the two of you but it’s too late, Robin had already noticed it. 

He eats his food even when he isn’t hungry anymore, even when he feels like he has to throw up after what he just heard but his plate stays halfway full, just like yours. 

“Are you not hungry anymore?” Eddie asks when he notices the amount of the food on your plate that you have pushed away from you. 

You shake your head, not meeting his eyes. 

“Are you sure?” Eddie asks, worriedly. 

Robin doesn’t look at you, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. 

Steve watches you closely, trying to figure both you and Eddie out. 

Why does he seem so worried over this?

A feeling of dread rushes through Steve. He feels like he no longer knows you, he doesn’t know what you’re going through, what feelings you are struggling with, what is going on in your mind besides the things you revealed to him the night before. 

Eddie doesn’t push you, Robin doesn’t push you and he certainly won’t do it either.

When you all leave the diner, you and Eddie step away for a moment, walking over to his van while Steve awkwardly stands besides Robin, unable to look away from you. He wonders what you and Eddie are talking about. 

He watches the metalhead closely, watching the way he takes both of your hands in his, you don’t even flinch away from his touch, you don’t push his hands off, you simply let him hold your hands as he talks to you. 

This could have been him. 

“Jealous?” Robin asks, startling him. 

He scoffs, shaking his head, “why would I be jealous?”

Robin shrugs, looking up at the sky, “right, there’s no reason for you to be jealous, I mean, you have a girlfriend.”

Steve rolls his eyes, he only looks away for one second, one fucking second and when he looks back, Eddie Munson is suddenly kissing your hands and rubbing your wrists after pushing your sleeves up. 

“He told me they’re friends!” He exclaims, unable to keep it in any longer. 

A chuckle falls from Robin’s lips, her blue eyes couldn’t flash with any more amusement when she stares at the red cheeks on him. 

“They are.” 

Steve scoffs again. Anyone, watching the two of you would think that you are a couple. 

You pull your hands back before you wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly. He should have been used to this by now, you and Eddie are always touchy, always. But he still feels annoyed every time he sees you two like this. 

“I don’t think she’d go on a date with someone if they were dating,” Robin says, stepping away from Steve, she grins at him, “I mean, she isn’t you.” 

Steve clenches his jaw, glaring at her. 

Robin waves at him mockingly, “bye dingus.”

“Bye,” he mumbles. 

He is surprised to see you walking away from Eddie, giving him one last wave before you walk back to him. Eddie nods at Steve before he gets in his van. Robin hugs you, whispering something in your ear before she parts ways with you, as well. 

You look around the parking lot, tugging at your sleeves – you have been doing it all morning.

“C-Can you drive me home?” You ask when you stop in front of him, “I mean my house is on the way, I thought–”

“Of course, I’ll drive you home, y/n.” He says, feeling a little shocked that you want him to drive you home. 

You nod, “okay, thanks.”

Steve knows that you probably want to talk to him about what happened last night, to explain your breakdown and come up with some excuse again, but he is surprised when you don’t speak up. You stay silent on the way to his car, when you get into his car, during the drive to your house. You just look out the window, not speaking up and Steve almost feels bad for enjoying your presence, almost. 

Steve tries to be good for her, he tries to be a good boyfriend, he wants to be better but it’s hard to think about her, when you are here with him. And, he once again, realizes just how much he misses your presence. Just you, here with him. 

You have spent so many days and nights just driving around and listening to music. Sometimes you would sing along to the song, sometimes you would just hold his hand and kiss his cheek every few minutes, sometimes you would both just sit silently, enjoying the music and each other’s presence. He misses those days. He misses them so much. 

Dread fills him when he pulls up to your driveway, knowing that this moment is over already. He doesn’t want to watch you go, he doesn’t want you to be alone. 

“What are you doing today?” He asks, curiously.

“Uh, I’m gonna go out with Robin later. I wanted to hang out with Eddie tonight but he’s busy?” You mumble in confusion, “I think he’s gotta help Wayne with something.”

Steve avoids looking into your eyes when you turn to face him, he looks down. 

“What about you?” You ask, surprising him once again. “Going on a date with your girlfriend?”

“Uh, no. I’m probably gonna watch a movie,” he says with furrowed brows. You know he’s lying, just how you know that Eddie was lying when he told you that he is busy and can’t hang out with you tonight. 

“Cool, can I watch with you?” You ask, joking. 

With wide eyes, he looks back up at you, his lips part and his cheeks flush red. 

He wants to say yes, he wants to say yes so bad, but he can’t. Fuck. 

You stare at him for a long minute, watching the way he looks more and more flustered, it tears a giggle out of you, “just kidding, I’m staying at Robin’s today.” 

“O-Oh cool.”

“Yeah..” You trail off, looking down at your rings, you suddenly feel awkward to be here with him. He keeps staring at you, the weight of his eyes is heavy and it makes you feel vulnerable again. 

“I’m gonna go,” you say without looking back up, you turn your back to him when you reach for the door handle but something stops you from leaving. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You think about last night. 

He picked up the phone so quickly. He didn’t even hesitate when you asked him to pick you up, he just came and he took care of you, without question. He comforted you. He was there. He was there when you needed him. 

You could just say ‘thank you’ and leave, you could do that. But, instead you do something you always used to do. You turn back around and you scoot closer to him. You startle him a little when you suddenly throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly. 

Steve is shocked, confused and happy. Happy to feel your arms around him again. His heart melts, his eyes soften and he can’t help but lean closer to you, wrapping his arms around you slowly. 

This feels like old times, this feels right but this isn’t right, he shouldn’t feel this way, especially not when you are struggling with what happened. This is not about him and his feelings, he pushes them aside and he holds you in a way he used to when you were friends, he holds you protectively, rubbing your back like he used to. 

“Thank you, Steve.” You whisper before you pull away from him, mustering up a smile as you look into his hazel eyes. 

“No need to thank me, dolly.” 

You ignore the way your heart skips a beat, the way your stomach flutters and your heart soars for the little girl who used to love when the boy she liked called her that. 

You react to it just the way you did back then. Steve notices the way your lip quirks and your brows pull together, the faintest smile appears on your face. It makes him feel something he hasn’t felt in a while. 

“Bye Steve,” you whisper. 

“Bye,” he says, begrudgingly. He doesn’t want you to leave, he doesn’t want this to end but it does end, way too soon. 

He watches you leave, he watches the way you pull at your sleeves again to keep your bruises hidden, the bruises he gave you. Steve grips the steering wheel tightly, his jaw clenches when he thinks of the man who hurt you. 

When you walk into the house, you look back one more time, waving at him before closing the door. 

Steve thinks, he thinks of your scared voice, he thinks of your tears, he thinks of the broken look in your eyes, of the questions you asked him. He thinks of the smile you used to wear on your face, the happiness in your eyes that was always so contagious, the innocence in your eyes that never faded away. 

Steve would do anything for you, anything. 

-

The day passes by in a blur, after eating lunch with your mom and answering all the questions you wanted to avoid, you went back to your room and cleaned up a little before packing your bag for the night, throwing in a set of your favorite pajamas and your toiletries. You take a shower and get dressed before you go downstairs. You try to call Eddie before going to Robin’s but, just as you expected, he doesn’t pick up the phone and when you try to call him later that night, using Robin’s telephone, he doesn’t pick up either. 

A bad feeling, a hunch tells you exactly where he is right now, but Robin is quick to shut those thoughts down, distracting you by asking you questions about Steve. 

You stay restless, even when she puts on your favorite movie and offers you your favorite snacks, you can’t seem to stop thinking about Eddie and Steve. A part of you wants to call him too, just to see if he will pick up but you decide against it. 

Surely, they wouldn’t go after Ray, especially not together, right? They wouldn’t. You know they wouldn’t. And still, you can’t shake the feeling that something is off. That feeling carries on throughout the night, it’s gone in the morning but it keeps you in your thoughts, wondering and questioning that feeling you have felt. 

When you call Eddie in the afternoon, he finally picks up with a cheerful voice, knowing that it’s you on the other line. He asks you to come over later before you can even ask him any questions. Hearing his voice puts you at peace, a little. 

When you go into the kitchen to grab yourself a drink from the fridge, you notice that your mom forgot the dinner she put into her lunchbox. With a sigh, you reach for it and place it on the counter, deciding to stop by the hospital on the way to Eddie’s. 

Though, when you get there, you don’t expect to see him leaving the hospital. 

His face is littered in bruises, his arm is in a blue cast. The guy who made you feel powerless just two nights ago, is now struggling to walk with his limp. A man is by his side, you assume that it’s his father who is offering a hand to his son. 

It’s dark outside and the only lights illuminating the parking lot are the dim street lights, still, it’s enough to see how bad he looks. 

He looks like he is in pain and a part of you feels joy to see him this way, he deserves this. But the longer you look at him, the more you can feel your heart racing when you realize what or better yet, who happened to him. 

You know exactly who did this to him. 

You know exactly who left him with bruises and a broken arm.

Your breath hitches in your throat when you realize why Eddie didn’t pick up the phone last night. 

You know exactly why Steve seemed so nervous when you asked if you could watch a movie with him. 

You know exactly who left him with bruises and a broken arm.

You know exactly who did this to him.

next chapter

-

tagging friends & mutuals

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[arctrooper69]

As Iron Sharpens Iron

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

Chapter 14:

Previous // Next

Warnings: Canon violence

--------------------------------------------------

The trip back to your small shuttle seemed to take twice as long.

“... yeah the shuttle’s still there…”

The subtle echo of voices and gear drifted across the rocky terrain and you froze. For a moment it disappeared and you’d almost convinced yourself that once again this moon was playing tricks on you.

A haggard, hacking cough sounded from around the corner where piles of slag leaned and stacked over each other creating some sort of natural shelter beside the mouth of yet another cavernous mineshaft.

You dove behind a large boulder. Kriff. Cid had said the planet was uninhabited.

Is someone else after the jewels too?

Cid hadn't mentioned that either. You were going to have a serious talk with her when you got back.

If I even make it back in one piece. You rubbed your aching shoulder. From the way this mission was going, you weren't sure just how intact you'd be.

This place is a death trap. At least I have the jewels. Hard part’s over.

The roving light of a headlamp flickered against the rocks before blinking out.

“Karabast!” came a growling curse, “Those kriffing rocks better be worth as much as you say they are, woman!”

“Relax, Nakan.” a female voice snapped, sounding exasperated. “You’ll get your money.”

Two other voices squabled further away.

“Enj! Rico! Get your asses over here!” the female shouted. She sounded human, or at least humanoid.

Crawling slowly, you peered through the cracks of the boulder, to get a better look.

A human woman paced the ground and a large Nikto crouched a few feet from the edge of a mineshaft beneath the craggy overhang of shale. Nakan, the woman had called him.

The ones she’d called Enj and Rico were Weequay - male and female. The female spat on the ground. “We’re wasting our time out here, Boss. There’s nothing here.”

“There will be!” The human crossed her arms, “You just have to trust me!”

The male Weequay said something that you couldn’t quite hear and she nodded. The Nikto got to his feet and followed the others as they continued to search for a different mine.

The voices faded off into the distance, but you waited a little longer before coming out of hiding.

Dust floated through the air, forcing itself deep into your lungs and you choked. Eyes watering, you instinctively reached, pulling the fabric of your shirt to cover your mouth and nose.

Even the air is getting worse. It burnt your lungs. Almost there.

A brief flash of alarmed confusion was the only warning before you found yourself violently acquainted with the ground once again, head forced into the dirt and arms wrenched painfully behind your back, drawing a pained squeal as air was forced from your lungs.

“Hey, boss! Look what I found!” Scaled hands dragged you to your feet, maintaining the iron grip that trapped your arms painfully behind you.

“Get off, asshole!” You spit dirt from your mouth, throwing your shoulders forward to try and yank yourself free.

A sudden click and your jaw snapped shut. The hot dedlanite barrel of a blaster burned into the skin of your forehead. Muscles stiffened as the woman from before brought the blaster down your face, resting it just below your chin, forcing it up so that she could see your face.

“Just when I thought my luck had run out!” she chuckled, “You look like shit and you know what that tells me?”

You glared.

She continued anyway, “That tells me that you’ve been spelunking around here. You find any shiny rocks?”

Any fear left in your worn out mind hardened to a spiteful anger.

Get your own shiny rocks, bitch. These are mine.

Despite the dryness of the air or how your lips cracked and screamed for relief, you spat. “Kriff off!”

Pain exploded from your cheekbone, radiating down your neck as she whipped the blaster without warning.

She slowly wiped the spit from her cheek. “Fine. We’ll do this your way then.”

She turned to one of the Weequays. “Search her. Take what you want then get rid of her.”

The Nikto merely grunted as you kicked your foot back, struggling to gain some semblance of control as he pulled already screaming shoulders ever tighter, binding your hands behind your back.

Nausea flooded passages already inhabited with the adrenaline fueled struggle. It made you dizzy.

A hand jerked the pouch from your belt, renewing the fight to aching muscles. You threw back your head, connecting with the face of the Weequay who’d stolen the stones from your belt. He cursed, dropping the stones, hands flying instinctively to his broken nose.

You reached desperately for the bag of jewels, fingers just barely brushing the fabric.

If I can’t have them, then you definitely can’t.

Another tremor rattled the ground and you watched with numb satisfaction as the small bag tumbled from the ledge into the abyss below.

The woman slammed your head into the ground once more and your vision went white.

“Go in there and get those damn stones!” she snapped over her shoulder, “I’ll take care of her myself!”

The ground began to rumble. A larger quake this time. Stones and dust were violently tossed into the air.

“Shit, just go! Get out!”

Everything was silent then, so slow that it felt as if you were floating - propelled from the edge not by a boot, but by a gentle wind.

***

The Marauder lay so peaceful after that mission.

The memory came to you suddenly as if you’d slipped into a dream, mind desperately grasping to cushion a cruel reality as you tumbled down into the dark.

Omega and Wrecker were laughing because a stray piece of Mantell Mix had landed directly in Tech’s unruly curls and stayed there unmoving. Tech had moved on into the cockpit, yet still that sticky sweet stayed put. It was only when Hunter could no longer keep the grin from his lips nor the laughter from his eyes, that he’d noticed.

That’s the part that played like a holofilm over and over again. The subtly raised eyebrow at Omega’s joyfully hidden giggles. That spark of laughter in eyes that had been serious for too long. The muscles that rippled along his neck and jaw as he held back laughter that soon broke loose and the way he breathed so easily again - momentarily free from the weight of an ever changing galaxy. He was happy.

Oh, what you would do to give him that once more.

I’m sorry, Hunter.

--------------------------------------------------

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[madwomansapologist]

Autumn Thunderstorm | Chapter 1 - A way to break the ice

Navigation | Series Masterlist | AO3

series synopsis: Thranduil thought the recent attack of spiders on a periphery village was the only thing deserving of his attencion. If he could've imagined what he would found there, who he would found there, the Elvenking would wait a millenia in front of that river so he could see her sooner. Or: how Gandalf managed to keep a secret for 14 months.

first chapter synopsis: Thranduil traveled to a village that reported spider attacks with his army to protect those who need it, and accepted when a respected family offered their inn so his army could rest. He didn't expect to find a mage there. Or for the dam to break. [3K]

warnings: female!reader. lotr kinda of violence. pre-Smaug.

glossary: Lossëistar: Ice Mage┆Mithrandir: Grey Pilgrim┆

Gandalf is a recurring face in the inn. In some months he appears twice, mostly by the end of the year when he does not have anything else to do, but he never goes more than a month without coming back. Even if he can stay only for a day or two, he always comes back.

Gandalf has been to so many places. Met so many people. Lived so many adventures. So why does he keep coming back? It is just a normal village filled with normal people living normal lives. A good place to live, but not the kind of place people want to visit.

"I will see you next month?" Helping him saddle the sorrel, you waited for the obvious answer. Goodbyes were never your forte. Hearing more, even if it is something you have heard before, is better than being silent for the whole time. You miss him already.

You led the horse out of the inn's stable, petting it. The cool breeze made your hair fly, autumn has begun to announce itself. The sorrel tried to run away, but you held him in place.

"There is someone I need to visit, a master who needs advice", he said. You know that tone of voice. Gandalf uses it whenever you do something stupid. Something as often as his presence at the inn. Someone is about to hear a stern lecture, and you are so relieved it is not you.

"Good luck to the poor person you will pay a visit," you say as he mounts the sorrel. Part of you is still surprised that someone so old would be able to ride a horse so easily, but looks can be deceiving. Gandalf is older than he looks, as well as more skilled.

Gandalf appreciated the river that cuts through the property, focusing on the sound of water lapping against rocks. It was one of the reasons for the inn to be so popular. The water was so calm there, higher on the mountain and away from the village. So crystalline. Gandalf could see the high wooden dam, ensuring the river would not run to the waterfall miles ahead crash against the village.

A familiar fear gripped your body. He always comes back, but you are always afraid that one day he will realize this is a waste of his time. And if one day he decides not to come back, you will be alone. "You will not forget about me, will you?"

Awakened by your voice, Gandalf faced you. His voice went softer. "Continuing to ask will not change the answer."

"But why do you keep coming back?" The sorrel stirred. You had to take a step back, and you could feel that Gandalf would use that to move away without answering. "You really do not know what happened to me before my awakening? Why do you keep on visiting me? Helping me?"

"Continuing to ask will not change the answer." Gandalf led the horse away. And so he goes, without giving you a proper explanation. As always. "Farewell, persistent girl, and do not cause troubles."

"I cannot promise you anything," you waved. Gandalf sighed, knowing you were honest just as much as he was not. "Good riddance, Gandalf!"

He disappeared into the ash trees, taking some of your fear with him. You took a deep breath and remembered that you had a lot to do. Aerin is a kind landlady, but she made clear your stay would not be paid with grateful smiles and friendly words.

"Breakfast!" You served each horse a mixture of fresh grass, hay and silage. With all of them distracted, you could prepare a new bedding for them. "Good morning, beauties."

Gandalf is always traveling, you never have an address to send letters. He usually sends you a letter a week, not that you have a way to respond him. But inside the stable, surrounded by horses in needed of your attention, work managed to override your concern. Everything would be fine. Everything always turns out fine.

So why does you feel like something bad will happen?

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Elrond called the Council.

Hundred years of peace. The enemy was dead. Sauron was dead. Such a long time most could forget about the danger, but something had awakened in Rivendell. Something dark and hungry. Something that none could ignore. Evil things did not come into that valley, but maybe something was born there.

"That is not enough to think something is happening", Saruman explained. Sitting in his armchair, Saruman's pearly tunic appeared to be floating as he moved his hand. "Orcs and spiders? Not enough."

Galadriel countered the room. Her white gown gleamed at every step, almost hurting the eyes of those who dared to look direct at it. The temptation to look at her was bigger than the discomfort.

"It would not." Galadriel whispered. "But we are not talking about occasional attacks. It is strategical. They are hunting something. Something south of Rivendell."

Gandalf glared at the wizard. He grabbed his staff, holding it closer to him. That subject was not on a good path. Not a good path for them both.

The Istari came in five. Not that anyone but Elrond, Cirdan and Galadriel knew what they really are. The rest of the world sees them as inopportune pilgrims, but they are so much more than that.

Saruman the White, a Maia of Aulë, leader of the White Council. The enemy of Sauron. The one who advices great lords, who is responsible for the biggest events, present whenever a important choice needs to be made. When the War of the Ring starts, he will be the one fighting Sauron.

Gandalf the Grey, a Maia of Manwë and Varda. The one to defeat evil by the lives of commons. The wiser. When the War of the Ring starts, Gandalf will be with the soldiers and squires.

Radagast the Brow, a Maia of Yavanna. The protector of Nature and its life. The avenger of animals and plants. When the War of the Ring start, he will not interfere. Saruman does not speak to him ever since he made his decision.

And there are the two blues. The ones who only purpose is to defend humans. Different than Gandalf, they don't organize humans. Different than Saruman, they don't empower them. They are the protective layer that ensures Gandalf and Saruman will be able to do their responsabilities. It has been long since Gandalf spoke their names.

Saruman looked into his tired eyes, and Gandalf understood what he was saying: "Do not".

Elrond was bewitched by the landscape in front of him. He could see the river, the mountains, the infinity of the sky. And he felt it. A shadow that grows in the dark. Elrond is still not sure if it is that same old evil, but he knows it is powerful. "Sauron have..."

"Do not even start with this!" Saruman nodded. "Sauron is dead. He is done."

At one point while Saruman and Elrond discussed, Saruman's only argument being the death of Sauron and Elrond trying to use some logic to explain his fear, Gandalf heard a voice on his head. "What are you hiding from us, Mithrandir?"

Gandalf smiled at Galadriel. His white long beard almost covered it, but she saw it. "Nothing."

"We were not summoned to argue about the Enemy's existence," Thranduil rose from his chair. It would take a fool to not perceive how, even simple and identical to those of the other council members, it looked like a throne. Thranduil was a king, his presence lived up to his reputation. "We are here to put an end to these vermin."

"Finally someone with an agile mind", Saruman intonate.

Elrond sat down. "This horde keep reproducing. Until we find the nest, spiders will keep coming back."

"Then we already know what to do." Thranduil decided to put an end to that endless discussion. "My guar..."

The door was flung open, shaking the council room. A sweaty, breathless messenger leaned against it, shaking with exhaustion. His eyes met Elrond's, who immediately rose and approached. "We found another litter."

"Where?" Galadriel asked.

"Above the tributaries of the Bruinen River, in the gorge of the last dam."

"Wake up the intendant," Elrond ordered. "Tell him to prepare my armor."

Saruman swallowed hard. It would be too close. If Elrond ever had a chance to... He glared at Gandalf, hoping he could think of an excuse. Elrond would need a mere glance to recognize her.

"In a token of gratitude for your hospitality," Thranduil made his way near Elrond. He touched his shoulder, squeezing it gently. Kind words, but attention would show that pride lurked among them. "Let me defeat these insects for you."

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

They rode in twenty. Led by the Elvenking, the little guard entered the mangrove with their golden armor lit by the midday sun. Protected from the rear by the Elvenking, the little guard came out of the mangrove with their bloody armor lit by the sunset.

Still twenty.

"Our mounts need to rest before our return", Gildor saddle his sorrel. One of Elrond's captains, he was the one that managed to map the nest and guided Thranduil and his guard to annihilate the spiders. "Just like your elk, your grace."

Thranduil caressed his brave elk. A longtime companion, that faced bigger threats than a nest of spiders. "We went through a village, did we not?"

"Yes, your grace", Gildor pointed to a trampled tail. "An inn favored by master Elrond would gladly welcome us, with comfort and food for us and our mounts. I took the liberty to send a letter to inform of our stay while we were organizing in Rivendell."

It was a long road. The trail ran along the mountain, climbing towards the setting sun. The sound of running water showed that they were arriving, but what really made them understand that the path had ended was the sound of chitchat. Coming out from amongs the trees, the Elvenking and his men were greeted by dozens of elves.

As the king descended from his elk, everyone bowed and thanked him for defeating the spiders. Leading the small crowd, a short, plump lady approached.

"Lady Aerin, the owner of the inn", Gildor whispered to Thranduil.

"I imagine it must have been a long and painful journey, your grace." Aerin used sweet words, but it was clear that she practiced it a few times. "All my employees shall respond to your orders, no matter what they are. I know my little inn is nothing compared to your castle, but I hope it brings you comfort."

It was obviously true, but it was modest to say that this was a small inn. It was an immense structure, perhaps six floors high, and the long stables were visible even from the entrance. Nothing compared to a castle, but it certainly was not small.

Aerin was kind, personally guiding the king to his chambers. While everyone bathed, supper was cooked and the horses tended. The sun had already set when they gathered.

"It's a very lovely inn", Thranduil tried to calm Aerin. Her nervousness was clear.

"Oh, your grace, that is very kind of you." The old lady smiled, now focusing on her food. The lull was marvelous, but it didn't last long. This time, Aerin was trying to whisper to her son. "Why is she taking so long? I am starting to worry."

Gildor took a sip from his wine. "You talk about the Lossëistar?"

Aerin was surprised he could hear her. After all, she was so subtle. "She was supposed to be back by now. It is a long way to the fair, but not that long."

"Lossëistar?" Thranduil was interested. "An elve mage lives here?"

Aerin and Gildor glared at one another. Gildor was one that responded. "Not exactly an elve, not exactly a mage."

"Explain yourself."

Aerin sighed. "She... Look, I do not mean to gossip.” She looked around the room, and began to whisper. "We do not really know what she is. Not sure if she is a human, but an elve... she is not tall enough to be one."

Thranduil laughed at Aerin's honesty. "What is the cause of such confusion?"

The younger boy, Aerin's son, responded before his mom could. "She is weird. Gandalf worries about her."

"Beren!" Aerin scolded him. "Keep yourself silent!"

Thranduil's interest turned into something else. Gandalf is not exactly a friend, as he often delivers bad news and forget who is the ruler, but Thranduil is wiser to not underestimate him. Elrond and Galadriel care for him, and Thranduil respect their wit. If Gandalf has someone under his wing, he has his reasons. Thranduil wonders why.

Before he could ask more, the creak of the entrance door was heard. "Lady Aerin," a female voice echoed to the hall. It was melodic, Thranduil could sense the happiness. "You will not believe what I found!"

You entered the hall holding a basket full of fabrics, herbs and pots. "Close your eyes, it's a surprise." You were looking for something inside the basket as you walked towards the hall, not even noticing that it was not empty.

Thranduil hesitated.

Your dress was wrinkled and muddy, the marks of a long, busy day of walking. Your loose hair, falling around your shoulders, framed your face with a sense of freedom. The smile on your lips, so simple and true, carried such lightness. Your crooked steps, balancing your weight with the heavy basket in order not to fall, were lit by candles. There were violets in your eyes. They glowed. You glowed.

"Lossëistar", Aerin called. "We are not alone."

Your smiled died before you rose your face. Lossëistar. It is been more than a year, but she never called you by your name. Do not matter what you say, they never hear you. What is the reason to keep trying? But then you rose your face, and you disappointment turned into shame.

"Your grace", you bowed. "Pardon for the interruption."

Thranduil took a deep breath. He could smell the salty scent, a mixture of earth and herbs, emanating from you. A shiver rose the Elvenking's spine. "Apparently you are late."

"You were supposed to be here two hours ago", said Aerin. "Are you fine, kid?"

"The horse you borrowed me were not obedient." Your eyes alternated between Thranduils's and Aerin's. You may be a fool on a few subjects, but you always know when your presence is not expected. With another bow, you walked towards the entrance. "Have a good night."

"Supper with us." Thranduil did not controlled his own tongue. There was something about you that intrigued him. He repeated to himself that he was only trying to find out what interested Gandalf, but he was too clever to be so easily deceived.

"Your grace is so kind, but she does not need to", Aerin thought it was the right thing to say. "I will bring you a plate when we are done. Thank him, Lossëistar, for his generosity."

Thranduil's voice was heard again. Less graceful, less friendly. It was the voice of a leader, and a tired one. "What makes you think that an invitation to dinner and a cold dish are equivalent?"

Aerin blinked. "I am sorry, your grace. I thought..."

"Join us, lady", the Elvenking looked into your eyes.

Unsure of how to proceed, you followed in silence to the empty armchair at the end of the table. Next to Aerin's son, who was staring at you in a way you could not identify, one of the employees served you a plate. Gildor launched into a subject that made the tension in the air dissipate, but you could feel the weight of the Elvenking's gaze.

"The last time we saw each other", Gildor smiled at you. "You still did not knew how to ride."

You smiled at him, but discomfort gripped your body. You were too dirty, too tired, to sit across from a king. You must have reeked of mud and riding horses. How was your face? And your hair? He's very kind, kinder than the stories about Mirkwood elves, but it was humiliating.

"I am still learning." You tried to sound comfortable on your own skin. "I am not the best, but also not the worst."

"Certainly a stimulant way of thinking, Lossëistar."

"I am sure you have a name, my lady." Thranduil did not bother smiling.

"I... I do." You bit your tongue. "People just do not use it."

"So it is about time we change this."

A warmth took over your cheeks. You told him your name, and only then you noticed how long it been since you last heard it. It felt nice to have the Elvenking saying it, testing how it sounded on his tongue.

But everything was forgotten after the explosion. The guards got up, not sure what was going on, but you knew that sound. It was the sound of work. The sound of letters and more letters of complaint being ignored. The sound of the dozens of times the village had to rebuild. It was the sound of water. And it was near.

You drank the rest of your wine before getting up.

You ran out of the inn. As imagined, the dam had broken. The second time this month. "That is what happens when you keep solving it," you murmured to yourself. "They know you are going to fix everything so they do not even bother doing something."

Mist dominated the river bank. You took a deep breath and ran closer to the forest, as far away as possible. You took a bow out of your pocket and tied your hair in a tight knot. The last thing you needed was something clinging to your face. You heard the screams of some of the guards, but did not allowed that to distract you.

It raced down the gorge, skipping the bank and destroying everything in its path. You could hear the trees bending, you could feel the cold, hard wind burning your face. When the trees behind you shuddered, you knew you could start. So you ran towards the river.

You ran and ran and ran. You stopped walking on leaves to step on land, then from stepping on land to run over the river. You just ran, a thin layer of ice forming with each step, towards the pouring water. And when it was so close it could crush you, knock the air out of your lungs and claim it as its own, you reached out and touched the wave. And as quickly as it started, it ended. It ended with you standing in the middle of the river, with tons of frozen water in front of you, and a speechless Elvenking.

[Second Chapter]

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[sanccharine]

14:30 | mm

pairing: assassin!momo x handler!reader

summary: good speakers are good liars, too bad momo is neither. co-written by @eternallyghosting chapter summary: momo spends the day with you

warning: sickeningly sweet, like makes me want to throw up actually

word count: 2.5k

a/n: assassin!momo is here because indigo works hard af. literally she wrote everything, again i didn't do jackshit for this part, didn't even open docs until yesterday lol. im just here to post and disappear like avatar aang, again :]

masterlist

You cursed as your oven timer dinged for the third time, barely managing to shove your hands into heat proof gloves before hurrying to take the baking tray out of the steaming oven. This had to be your sixteenth batch of heart shaped cookies, an apparent Valentine's day tradition. A cliche, more like, you rolled your eyes. 

Although this influx of orders was no doubt good for your growing business, you were just about ready to gouge out your eyes if only to avoid looking at pink food colouring again.

You sighed, at least after this last order for Mr Moyo, you'd be done for the day. As you busied yourself with measuring the flour, something you could do in your sleep now based on the amount of times you'd made this exact recipe, the front door slammed shut. 

Momo. Hearing the loud slamming noise would've given you a headache in any other situation, but not today. Today Momo had promised to give you a break from doing the dishes after seeing you knee deep in orders since the morning.

You hadn't even realized how tired you were until she came up behind you and laid her chin on your shoulder. You took a break from kneading and pulled her closer. Sensing your fatigue, Momo wrapped you up in her arms, gently turning you around and laying a soft kiss on your lips. 

"Rough day?" 

"Mmm," you didn't bother with a more coherent response. Momo got it anyway.

She gazed around at the heart cookies, with their light pink frosting and red and white sprinkles, and snorted, "I don't really get why people would want these."

A beat. 

She rushed to add. "Of course not saying that because it's your baking! These look great babe, you've done a really good job on the decor." She cupped her warm hands around your cheeks, emphasizing that she didn't mean anything by what she'd said.

You shook your head, "It is a silly holiday."

"Exactly! That's what I meant," she kissed your cheek in apology.

You settled deeper into her hold. The dough could wait. "But still, it's kind of sweet that people celebrate Valentine's day," you murmured.

Momo could be quite dense sometimes. You had to often spell things out for her. But this, your unmentioned plea, she understood clearly. Maybe it was the exhaustion making you more sensitive than usual. Or maybe it was the sentimentality of the holiday that made you melt against her arm as she brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Tell you what, you finish up this last batch and I'll run you a bath. How does that sound?"

That did sound great. You gave her a grateful nod as you added, "there's extra frosting in the fridge if you want to try some." 

Momo hurriedly disentangled herself and gave you another kiss before rushing to the said fridge. Perhaps it wasn't just you feeling the sentiments of the holiday. 

With renewed vigour, you managed to toss the new batch of cookies in the oven, having to wait only for a couple minutes before filling up all your used dishes with soapy water. Although Momo had promised to do them for you, you couldn't just leave them be without rinsing atleast a few.

You trudged upstairs, where your nose was immediately met with the soothing scent of lavender, from the bath salts you had gifted Momo a few months ago. As you slipped into the bathroom, Momo turned to face you.

"So my next flight isn't for another few days."

You nodded silently, focusing on throwing your flour stained shirt into the laundry basket instead. Momo and you had discussed her flight over dinner last night so you didn't know why she was bringing it up again.

"I was thinking we could do something together."

Now that got your attention. You lifted your head and asked with a hint of a smirk, "I thought you said Valentine's day was a shitty occasion."

"I didn't say it like that! And also this doesn't have to be for Valentine's day," she added. "It could be just a date."

"Okay," you shrugged. You would do anything if it meant spending more time with Momo.

She perked up. "Great! I'll plan it out!"

Wait, what?

Before you could ask her anything, she smiled, said "Enjoy your bath!" and left, closing the door behind her.

As you enjoyed your much needed soak in the tub and made your way out of the bathroom, you found Momo hunched over on the bed with her glasses on and laptop in hand. You smiled to yourself. She hardly ever wore her glasses, so she must be taking this date planning very seriously. 

As you crawled into bed, she turned her screen towards you and pointed excitedly. "Look!"

You took a look at a website showing various people with axes in their hands. Before you could ask about what Momo wanted to do with a Thor convention, you caught sight of the title at the top of the screen.

Axe throwing. Huh.

"Seems fun, doesn't it?"

You tore your glance away from the laptop to Momo's face, grinning widely and awaiting your answer. You were looking at her, but you weren't really seeing. The only thought in your mind was how cute those glasses looked on her. You really had to make her wear them more often.

"You're adorable," you blurted out as she nudged you for an answer.

Stifling a giggle, she rolled her eyes. "I'm taking that as a yes." And right away, she booked a slot for the two of you. You settled under the covers quietly, not really having any objections but also not expecting her to be so proactive about this date.

"There, all done. It's in the evening tomorrow." She put her laptop away on the bedside table and joined you under the warm duvet. 

Not that the duvet stayed settled for long as her words jolted you up. "Wait, tomorrow? I can't tomorrow, I have to deliv—"

Momo took your hands, silencing you in the action. "I know, you have to deliver the cookies. But we could do those on the way to the facility."

You weren't convinced this easily. "What if someone isn't at home? What if we can't deliver some of the orders?" 

She shook her head. "The time slot I booked is their last one. It's at 8 pm, which gives us plenty of time to make the deliveries, even if someone isn't home in the morning," she emphasized the end of her sentence to lay your worries at ease.

Kissing the hands still in her grip was the cherry on top, as you finally settled down again, content that Momo had it all planned out. She laughed quietly as she turned to face you, the faint yellow hue of the night lamp casting a glow on her face. "I wouldn't have booked the slot without making your deliveries happen, babe."

"I know, I just like having a plan." So what if your handler tendencies bled over into your regular life, having a plan was never a bad thing.

"You and your lists and schedules…"

"Hey, at least I'm not the one getting lost in a city because I can't read out the itinerary made for me!" It was a bit of a deep cut to bring up something that had occured on vacation years ago, but you couldn't resist teasing her.

And Momo retaliated by doing what Momo did best. When at a loss for a verbal attack, she mercilessly moved her hands up and down your sides, tickling you until your feet kicked and squirmed in the blanket.

She only stopped when you finally cried out for mercy, ceding victory to her if only to be able to breathe properly. Having eventually caught your breath, you pushed yourself up onto your elbows to situate your torso over hers and wipe off the smug smile on her face with a deep kiss.

"Goodnight, babe. I love you."

"I love you too. G'night."

True to her word, Momo had done all the dishes last night while you had been in the bath, and walking into a gleaming kitchen almost made you want to get on your knees and sob in relief. You loved baking, but cleaning up after was often the hardest part, something you absolutely had to be particular about no matter how tired you were.

You turned on the coffee machine just as the sounds of Momo rustling around in the sheets reached your ears. You were content to just stay in and share a cup of coffee, enjoying the morning sunlight streaming through the windows onto your kitchen counter. You looked around your carefully curated kitchen, at all the designs you had insisted on, knowing that it would be one of the places you spent the most time in. Your eyes landed on the pile of trinkets in the corner, stubbornly making themselves known in the pristine marble decor of the kitchen. 

Despite your hatred of the mismatched colour scheme, that corner held a special place in your heart, after all, it contained all the little things Momo had brought back from her trips around the world. The woman was talented in many areas, but interior design was decidedly not one of them. She would buy whatever she thought looked cute, irrespective of whether it was something that would fit in your kitchen or was needed by you in the first place.

Still, you couldn't bear to hide it away. As your gaze landed on the porcelain soap dish Momo had brought back a few weeks ago, you had to stifle a laugh at the memory of that particular day. All things considered, it wasn't even as horrendous as some of the other things she'd purchased, but her reasoning for buying it was what had you stumped. You remembered her ravenously eating forkfuls of the pie you had made to celebrate her arrival (and the difficult mission you knew she'd undertaken), before she had sprung up from her seat to haphazardly search through her bags.

Having found what she was looking for, she had tossed the dish towards you, and beamed as though expecting praise for her 'thoughtful' purchase. You couldn't lie, the gift had you bewildered for a good couple of minutes as you wracked your brain trying to recall why this dish would be of particular significance to you. Momo had impatiently gestured at you to turn the dish over and "look at the back!", where you found a 'Made in Greece' stamp over the dish. Although that gift had greatly confused you to the extent of looking like the human equivalent of a keyboard smash, it brought a smile to your face knowing that Momo carried your love of Greek myths with her wherever she went.

The subject of your thoughts bounded down the stairs just as you wrapped up that precious memory. Her hair was mussed up from having rolled around in bed, and her bleary eyes indicated that she wasn't fully awake yet. But to you, she had never looked better. You loved Momo like this, all soft and pliant in the morning, making you feel like you were in a never ending Sunday. 

You must have taken a second too long to acknowledge her, as she whined at not immediately receiving her good morning kiss. You moved towards her and obliged, before getting a hold of her wrist and gently dragging her off to where your twin coffee mugs stood, ready for a lazy start to your day. 

The rest of your day went by similarly in a haze, with you dividing your time between wrapping up your final orders, and making the most of Momo being home. Once the admittedly long and lazy breakfast was over, you enlisted Momo's help in reorganizing your closet, getting rid of items you didn't use anymore. Then, after hastily vacuuming your bedroom, the two of you made a quick lunch of enchiladas (well, you cooked and Momo tried not to get in your way), before settling down on the couch and scrolling through Netflix for a new show to watch.

You sighed contentedly in her hold as Momo, eventually tired of trying to find something new, clicked on the long memorised sitcom favoured by you. As your eyes glazed over the familiar scenes, you lauded your past self for closing off orders even though Valentine's Day was still two days away; you got to make the most of your time while Momo was still home.

By the time the afternoon hues of the sun had started to darken to twilight, you had already finished a season of the show you had put on, as well as two cups of tea and a bowl of popcorn. Deciding to clear up a bit, you turned off the television with a groan of protest from Momo, before eventually tugging her off the couch and upstairs to get ready for your deliveries.

Momo had been right in booking the 8 PM slot for your date, and as you watched her carefully load all the orders into the backseat of your car, a serene feeling washed deep in your bones. All it took really was a four letter word.

Home.

Time.

Love.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Momo asked as you slid into the passenger seat.

You had an absent smile on your face as your fingers drummed against your thighs. "Mm, just thinking of how all it takes is a four letter word."

Momo leaned over, grabbing and fastening your seatbelt for you in a swift motion. "You're thinking of 'sexy', right?" she smirked.

You felt your cheeks being pulled upwards as the absent smile blossomed into a full one. "I was thinking more of 'dork' but okay."

"Nerd."

"Fool."

"Rude."

"Mean."

The two of you traded back and forth before Momo suddenly said, "Y/N".

"Hmm? That's not how—"

"I love you," she giggled. This time it was you who leaned in, pushing forward as much as your seatbelt would allow, and sealed her giggles with a kiss. "Wife," you murmured against her as she pulled you in closer upon hearing that fall from your lips, a revered whisper.

Despite everything in you screaming not to, you eventually pulled yourself away and let Momo start the car. You settled in your seat, putting a hand over your heart to calm it's racing, but to also feel how strongly it beat. For Momo. While the pair of you weren't really convinced by the traditions of Valentine's Day, and scorned at how the town had blown a quarter of its budget on tacky pink and red decorations, you couldn't deny just how full your heart had felt today. How it felt everyday you were by her side.

You had your own traditions with her, of course you did, honed after years of being together, but it all boiled down to one thing, a simple four letter word: Momo.

any feedback is much appreciated.

a/n: happy valentines day y'all, tell people that you love them !!! or don't, or tell them that you hate them lol, idk don't let me tell you how to spend your day :P

taglist: @someone-who-likes-broccoli @happilychaengs

[whxtedreams]

Chapter 14: Forever Without You

Blood Runs Thicker than Water - Joel & F!Reader (Platonic DBF!)

Summary: In the blink of an eye, everything changes.

Word Count: 0.9k

Tags contain major spoilers and will be under the cut

Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist - Read on AO3

Tags: Character death, graphic death, organs that should stay inside the body – end up outside, reader dealing with the trauma of killing someone.

Chapter 14: Forever Without You

The trees tower over you, shielding your shivering body from the soft white snow that cascades the woodland path before you. The world around you is stark and solemn, stripped of its bursting color that has transformed into an austere symphony of white.

Just as the forever changing seasons symbolize rebirth and transformation as the trees shed their leaves to grow new life, your own transformation feels symbolic. It is as if the old version of you has withered and died back in that room, making way for the new and oh, so unfamiliar person.

Your childish self thought you were ready, placing blind trust in your dad as he too thought you could handle to make that irreversible step. Your tight and trembling grip on the knife had inflicted pain so grave you can still hear his ghost scream of agony through the winds as it whistles through the trees around you, haunting your every step. 

The blood - his blood, glues the wispy strands of hair to your face. The gloves, now drenched crimson, feels like weights in your hands. Everything feels suffocating, closing in like the fog around you.

You become aware of your body, your heart thumping in your chest, mirroring the life that once consumed him. You wonder if your heart will feel the same also, when someone steals the life from you.

The slow and steady sound of snow under your shoes comes to a halt as you reach the steps of the cabin. You stand frozen in place, fixated on your father’s back as the chilling wind numbs your face further. Your father halts as he reaches the porch, turning his head as he realizes his child is no longer obediently chasing after him.

His voice breaks the sounds of screams you’ve heard in the trees and he asks what’s wrong, why you’ve stopped. His fingers clench around his gun as his eyes betray the flicker of anxiety he feels. You notice something different, a look of fear you’ve never bear witnessed to until that man looked up at you for the last time.

A look that screams; I don’t want to die.

“I should have gone with Joel.” You confess, the words slipping past your shivering lips and your face as blank as your soul.

“He can handle himself, you don’t need to worry about him.” He says it if it’s obvious, his tone dismissive as he scoffs at your worry for Joel. 

Yet, deep down, you know it’s not worry for Joel that you’re expressing. No, you’re expressing your regret that you were separated from Joel all those years ago when the world came to an end. In this moment, a newfound resentment for your father wells up in your chest, just as the storm brews around you.

He sees it, the shift in how you look at him. Your loving and adoring eyes turned dark and cold in the face of murder.

Myles shifts his attention from you, as unease that passes through him like a shiver. It’s almost as if he can’t bear the look in your eyes, the change he caused.

He runs his hand over his face, brushing away the snowflakes that cling to his stubble. He exhales, the tiredness weighing heavily in his voice. “When Joel gets here, we’ll talk about what happened today, okay?”

He turns to face the cabin door just as it swings wide, creaking loudly on it’s hinges.

In fluid motion, he lifts his gun as his body moves to shield you from danger.

A sharp crack splits the air as a bullet leaves the chamber of a gun, followed by a cry of pain that rings in your ears. Another gunshot punctures through the cold air and your father’s body tumbles down the stairs. You stumble backwards, landing in the snow as you trip on your own feet just as his body lands before you.

Times slows and the world around you falls into a false sense of calm as silence seeps into you. You watch your father as he writhes in pain, his trembling hands clutching at organs that you know should stay on the inside of ones body. Although his mouth is likely forming cries of desperation, you hear nothing. Instead, the anguished cries are muted, replaced with the isolation of your own heart beating in your ears.

Time accelerates once more and his screams wash over you like thunderous wave. You stumble to your feet, body quivering with shock. Your hands grip the bow with a death grip as you aim it towards the door. Fear stifles your breathing as fear settles into your bones and you struggle to steady your trembling hands.

The attacker’s body remains still on the porch alongside their shotgun, unmoving as blood begins to spill down the stairs. Only then, do you look down at your father.

You’ve witnessed more deaths than you can remember, encountered bodies in far worse states than what lays before you. Yet, as you stare down at your own father, you actually feel something. This isn’t just any body, it’s a body that you’ve known your entire life.

Your dad is dying in front of your eyes.

Blood trickles from his lips as his body trembles, gazing up at you as his eyes fill with desperation and terror. In a frantic reach, the hand not holding his organs reaches for you. Your legs buckle and you collapse to your knees beside him, holding his hand in yours.

He gasps his final breath, his eyes locked on yours as the life fades from his eyes. His body goes limp. His hand, once tightly clutching yours, slips free, leaving you clutching the cold empty air.

You scream, a raw and primal cry of anguish that pieces through the silence.

Click here for Chapter 16- Comming soon

Notes

Myles, my tormented soul and (questionably) loving father, may you rest in peace. Will probaby be going to hell. okay so myles was meant to die all the way back in chapter 6 so he's lucky he made it this far. All round he was a good dad, just trying to prolong reader's life in a questionable way. He shall be missed.

If you want to be tagged, please comment on the masterlist for this series and I will add you. If you want to be taken off, please DM so i don't miss your request.

Every comment, like and reblog means the world to me. please let me know your thoughts about this, i want to ramble about this story so much.

tags: @sunandmuun , @rain-soaked-sun, @frootloops1213 , @samarav , @geralallfandoms , @joelmillersblog , @severussimp , @kitdjarin1 , @yesjazzywazzylove-blog , @justanotherteen12 @lils-1979 @elisha-chloe , @faith-alons26

[differentpostrebel]

Lost and Found: A Pirate's Promise

Chapter 16: "The Climax of Chaos: Confronting Caesar Clown"

A/n: We are back with another Chapter!!! This was supposed to be posted last night, but I had a few guest come over. This chapter, we got Sanji POV, Y/N Pov, and Law POV! I cant wait for you guys to read this chapter! As always thank you so much! Thank you for the follows, the likes, reblogs, comments! I will always like the previous chapters as well, Ill create a masterlist soon so itll be more organized. But without further a do, let the adventure begin!.  

Word count: 4.3K

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16 (Here)

Sanji x Reader, One piece x Reader, Sanji x Y/N

Sanji POV…

"That creature… is that slime?" Brook asked, his eyes wide as he took in the sight before us.

"A what?" I replied, confused.

"Slime," Brook explained. "I thought it was just fantasy, but I guess not. I read a book about it too! The book was quite fascinating; this slime loved to attack beautiful women and had a knack for melting clothes. Oh, how naughty!" Brook blushed as he reminisced.

"Woah… that book sounds pretty messed up," I said, blushing as well. "By the way, can I borrow that book? I'd love to read it in full."

"Me too, can I borrow it?" the Samurai chimed in, looking intrigued.

"Yeah, Y/N is definitely going to hear about this," Zoro said with a smirk.

"Why, I wouldn't be surprised. She gives the other guys a shot too, you know," I replied, shaking my head with a grin.

"Hey, Moss-head, watch it," I snapped, feeling a pang of jealousy. "Don’t think you can just blurt things out like that. I don’t need you running your mouth to Y/N."

"Relax, Curly-brows. I was just kidding," Zoro said with a smirk, clearly enjoying my reaction.

"Oh, really?" I shot back, narrowing my eyes. "Because it sounds like you’re threatening to spill everything."

"Well, if you keep being so obvious, I might just have to," Zoro taunted.

"Just try it," I said, crossing my arms. "You know what? I’m not even going to let you get under my skin. We have a slime monster to deal with."

"Fine," Zoro said, chuckling. "But remember, keep your jealousy in check. We’ve got bigger problems than your love life." 

But his words quickly shifted to something more serious as he analyzed the water ahead. "If that thing touches you, it’s going to do a lot worse than melt your clothes. The fish are dying back there; the thing’s made of poison, and it’s spreading too."

"Wait! But the Samurai's torso is in that lake?" Brook said, alarmed.

“Looks like it's up to retrieve it, " I said as I began to take off the coat. “I'm sorry Nami, I'll try to be quick, " I muttered still trapped in Nami’s body. 

"Surely not! You’re diving in? But Sanji…" Brook’s voice was tinged with concern, but I had already made up my mind.

"Look, I brought him with us, so I can’t let him die here," I said, determination taking over. "Handle the ones behind me, you two. I won’t be long."

"Huh? Behind me... AHHHHH!!" Brook screamed, suddenly realizing the danger approaching from behind.

With a deep breath, I dove right into the icy water, the cold instantly biting at my skin. But there was no time to waste. I had to find the Samurai’s torso before that poison spread any further. "I better make this quick," I muttered through chattering teeth. "It’s too cold to linger in here."

Laws POV… 

"Can't this idiot do anything right?" I muttered, my irritation growing as Chopper and I watched Luffy recklessly charge in, completely blowing our cover and revealing what we were planning with Caesar. "Can't he see that he's also putting Y/N in jeopardy?"

Chopper glanced at me, his usual cheerfulness tinged with concern. "You really like her, don't you, Law?" he asked, his tone more serious than usual.

With a low chuckle, I responded, "You have no idea." I focused back on the task at hand and teleported us into the lab. Monet was there, engrossed in her notes.

"Good, Monet’s alone," I whispered to Chopper. "You know the plan, right?"

"Yup," Chopper replied, determination in his eyes. "You distract Monet, and I'll go in to try and find anything that can help those kids."

I nodded, slipping Chopper into the bag I carried. As I approached, Monet noticed me, her eyes narrowing slightly but not yet alarmed.

"Sorry, the master's not here," she said, her voice smooth and almost too casual.

"Yeah, where'd he go?" I asked, feigning disinterest, though my mind was already racing.

"Probably outside to watch the fight. Cyborg Franky and that princess are out there as well. It’ll give him a chance to see their potential," she replied, her tone carrying a hint of amusement.

The mention of Y/N's title made my blood boil, but I suppressed the urge to lash out. Instead, I maintained my calm demeanor, walking toward a nearby sofa. Monet turned her back to me, still absorbed in whatever she was working on.

"That's alright," I said, my voice steady, though my hands itched to take action. "I think I'll be taking off soon. I've seen everything I need to."

Monet, trying to sound seductive, responded, "Shame, it'll be lonely without you." Her voice dropped to a purr. "I would have enjoyed you watching as I destroyed Y/N as well."

It took every ounce of self-control not to let my anger show. "I could use your help with something, though," I said, my tone carefully neutral. "Could I borrow you for a sec?"

Monet raised an eyebrow, a sly smile playing on her lips. "Why, are you asking me out on a date? Must be my lucky day," she chuckled, clearly not sensing the danger.

I forced a smirk, playing along. "Something like that."

As I walked out of the lab, I could hear her footsteps following me closely. I knew Chopper was already at work, and the sooner I could get Monet away from here, the better. 

Y/N POV….

“I got you now, Master!” Luffy declared, his grip firm and unwavering on Caesar Clown.

"Way to go, Luffy!" I cheered, a surge of pride swelling in my chest as I watched him effortlessly capture Caesar. The chaos around us only seemed to intensify with the sight.

“Strawhat caught the master!” one of Caesar’s underlings shouted in alarm.

“Crazy kid,” Smokey muttered, clearly impressed despite himself.

“So that’s Haki,” Franky commented, eyes wide. “Caesar’s got Logia powers, but Luffy can still grab him!”

“Drop him, Strawhat, or we will shoot!” another underling threatened, raising his weapon, and the others quickly followed suit.

Sensing the danger, I pressed the blue gem embedded in my sword hilt, activating my Ice Sword. A cold mist swirled around the blade, crystallizing in the air. "It's your time to shine," I muttered to myself, feeling the familiar chill course through my veins as the sword hummed with power.

With a swift movement, I dashed toward the underlings, my blade leaving a trail of frost in its wake. As I reached them, I swung the sword in a wide arc, releasing a burst of icy energy.

“Icebound Strike!” I called out, the name fitting perfectly for the freezing explosion that followed. The underlings were caught off guard as the cold wave hit them, their weapons and bodies encased in thick, glittering ice. Their shocked expressions were frozen in place as they were transformed into statues of pure ice.

“No way!” one of the remaining underlings gasped, stumbling backward as he watched his comrades turned to ice.

I smirked, raising the sword again. “Who’s next?” I challenged, feeling the rush of battle and the thrill of victory. 

“Luffy’s got this one!” Franky shouted. “Look, Caesar can’t use his powers!”

“Not exactly,” Robin interjected.

“What do you mean, Robin?” I asked, concern creeping into my voice.

“Although Luffy is using Armament Haki, it doesn’t weaken Logia powers like Seastone. We still don’t know the full extent of the Gas-Gas Fruit.”

Just then, Caesar enveloped Luffy in a gas robe, surrounding him in poisonous fumes.

“Luffy! Hold your breath!” Franky yelled.

“You can’t escape! Once the robe has you in its clutches, it’s over!” Caesar taunted.

“Luffy!” Robin and I shouted in unison. “Damn it!” Franky cursed. “Come on, Luffy!” I urged.

Then, to our shock, Luffy inhaled the poison and seemed unaffected.

“How did…?” I stammered, unable to believe my eyes.

“Neat! I guess poison doesn’t bother me anymore—probably because of Magellan,” Luffy said nonchalantly.

“My poison’s potency makes his look weak!” Caesar roared, unable to comprehend what was happening. Luffy responded with a powerful “Gomu Gomu no Stamp!” landing a clean hit on Caesar, sending him crashing into the snow.

“Master!!!” Caesar’s underlings screamed.

“Hell yeah!” Franky cheered. But Caesar wasn’t done yet. He called his underlings maggots and swore to put Luffy in his place. “Gaston Net!” Caesar shouted, stopping Luffy’s next attack with an explosion.

“What the—what is going on?!” I yelled, shielding myself from the debris. As the smoke cleared, Luffy was seen falling from the sky.

“Luffy!” I screamed, panic rising in my chest.

“I think we’ve had enough fun for the day! Move, Smileys!” Caesar commanded.

“What’s Smiley?” I asked, just as the slime began attaching itself to Luffy.

“Luffy, get out of there!” I yelled, but it was too late. Caesar launched another Gaston Net, and the slime exploded with Luffy trapped inside.

“No, Luffy!” Franky cried out. “This can’t be…” I whispered, feeling the dread settle in.

“He’s gone…” Robin said, her voice trembling.

The underlings cheered for Caesar, but suddenly, Luffy emerged from the smoke. “Wow, that was close,” he said, brushing off the attack.

“Luffy, you’re okay!” I exclaimed, relief flooding over me. Luffy managed to strike Caesar once more. “Okay, I got you for real this time. Robin, Y/N, is there anything we can put him in? He’s got Logia pow—”

But Luffy suddenly dropped Caesar, gasping for air.

“Luffy! What’s wrong?” Robin yelled, rushing to his side.

“Luffy, what happened?” I asked, panic creeping back.

Caesar grinned wickedly. “You shouldn’t underestimate me,” he sneered, knocking Luffy out cold.

“Crap, we need a new plan, guys!” I shouted, clenching my left hand to activate my powers. I sprinted towards Luffy. “I’ll do my best to distract him!” Franky called out. “Robin, try to grab Luffy!”

“Be careful, Franky! We don’t need you getting poisoned too,” I warned. Franky’s Radical Beam missed Caesar, but Robin managed to get to Luffy. However, she soon exhibited the same symptoms, fainting beside him.

“Robin, no!” I cried out. “What the hell is going on?!”

Tashigi was next to fall, followed by Franky as he tried to reach Robin.

“Franky!” I yelled. “Crap, what’s happening?” Smoker grunted, trying to land a hit on Caesar.

Clenching my right hand, I activated an electrical charge. “Don’t you dare!” I screamed, but Caesar grabbed my wrist, the charge still pulsing in my hand.

Smoker began to gasp for air until he too fainted, Caesar tossing him aside like the others. My body started to lose strength as I struggled against the effects.

“Shurorororo… If it isn’t Y/N,” Caesar mocked. “Looks like you’re no match for my power. But don’t worry, I have a special plan for you!”

His voice echoed as my vision blurred and darkness took over. The last thing I heard was Caesar’s order to chain us up, making sure those with powers got Seastone cuffs.

Laws POV.. 

Something's wrong… My heart—what's happening?

As I continued to walk down the halls of Caesar's lab with Monet, a sudden, intense pain gripped my chest. My heart felt like it was being crushed from the inside.

“Law? Something wrong?” Monet's voice echoed distantly, her tone tinged with curiosity. But I couldn't focus on her words; the pain was overwhelming, a sharp, relentless agony that brought me to my knees.

"Who's there?" I gasped, clutching my heart as I tried to pinpoint the source of this sudden attack. My vision blurred, and I could barely see through the haze of pain. My body convulsed, and I coughed up blood, the metallic taste filling my mouth.

Show yourself! Who are you?! I wanted to shout, but the words came out as a weak whisper. My strength was draining fast.

Then, I heard footsteps—slow, deliberate, and growing closer. My breath hitched as the familiar voice bellowed, “It’s me.”

My eyes widened in disbelief as the figure stepped into view. It was none other than Vergo.

“Why… are… you here?” I forced the words out, struggling to comprehend how he could be here, now of all times.

Monet’s giggle echoed through the corridor, her eyes gleaming with a mixture of amusement and malice. Still struggling to catch my breath, I glared at Vergo, trying to regain control over my body. The pain in my chest was unbearable, but I refused to let them see my fear.

“You think the boss doesn’t know what’s going on? We thought you were smarter than that!” Vergo sneered, his voice dripping with condescension. “We don’t even trust that Caesar guy, which is why we sent an undercover agent—the lovely Monet.”

Monet sauntered over to Vergo’s side, her expression smug. The two of them together made the air feel even colder, their presence suffocating.

“When did you get here?” I rasped, still struggling to push past the pain.

Vergo crossed his arms, his gaze never leaving mine. “I came to Punk Hazard for one reason—to keep an eye on you. The boss doesn’t take kindly to loose ends, and you, Law, are a potential problem.”

“Why target me? I didn’t do a damn thing to you,” I spat, forcing the words out through gritted teeth.

“No, not yet anyway. If you had, you’d be dead on the spot,” Vergo replied, his voice calm and controlled, as if he were discussing the weather.

My hand inched towards my blade, fingers trembling from the effort it took to move. Just as I was about to draw my weapon, Vergo’s grip on my heart tightened again, sending another wave of excruciating pain through my body.

“Ahhh!” I cried out, clutching my chest as the world around me spun. My vision blurred, and I could feel the strength draining from my limbs.

Vergo didn’t hesitate. With a swift motion, he struck me with his weapon, the impact sending a sharp shock through my body. I felt my consciousness slipping away, darkness creeping in at the edges of my vision.

Sanjis POV.. 

Damn it! It feels like I’ve been diving for hours, and still no sign of the Samurai’s torso. It’s freezing down here, and the slime’s poisonous venom is creeping closer. The cold is biting through Namis body, making it harder to move.

I decided now was the right time to use Observation Haki. Focus, Sanji. I need to find that damn torso. I scanned the murky water around me, but the darkness and the swirling slime made it nearly impossible to see. I could feel the venom closing in, wrapping around me like a tightening noose.

Just then, a shark streaked past, its jaws clamped around something. As it swam closer, I realized with a jolt that it had the Samurai’s torso in its mouth. “Damn it!” I muttered, swimming toward the beast. I grabbed hold of the shark’s fin and yanked it violently, trying to force it to let go. 

“Let go, you stupid shark!” I shouted, kicking it with all my strength. The shark thrashed, but I managed to wrestle the torso free from its jaws. Now, with the torso in hand, I had to get to shore before the venom consumed me.

The venom was spreading rapidly, turning the water into a toxic haze. I swam as fast as I could, feeling the icy tendrils of the poison closing in around me. Every stroke was a battle against the encroaching slime. I could barely see the shore through the thickening cloud of poison, but I pushed forward, driven by the urgency of the situation.

“Shit, it’s closing up!” I shouted to myself, realizing the poison was moving faster than I anticipated. My lungs burned from the effort, and my muscles screamed in protest, but I couldn’t afford to slow down. 

With one final burst of speed, I surged towards the shore, the icy water biting at my skin. I dragged the Samurai’s torso onto the lake and collapsed beside it, gasping for breath. My heart raced, not just from the exertion but from the relief of having made it in time. 

“Thanks to you, I’m a whole Samurai again!” Kinemon cried, his voice filled with gratitude as he stood before me, fully restored. My body was still shivering uncontrollably from the harsh weather.

“Please, can you help me out here?” I yelled, my teeth chattering. “Do your trick and make some clothes appear! I’m freezing out here!”

“Yes… sorry to keep you waiting,” Kinemon said, quickly conjuring up clothes that provided much-needed warmth. I sighed in relief as the chill began to recede.

“Please, will you tell me your name, good sir?” Kinemon asked, bowing slightly.

“Fine, my name is Sanji,” I said, trying to stay warm. “And cut the ‘sir’ crap! You kept hurling insults at me instead of being appreciative. Don’t you remember?”

Kinemon’s eyes welled up with tears as he began to cry and beg for forgiveness. “I’m sorry, please forgive me!” he cried, hitting his head in a show of desperation.

“Get up!” I said firmly, my voice softening despite my irritation. “No man should ever get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness. Got that?”

“Much as I would hate to break this touching moment,” Brook interjected, “but we appear to be in mortal danger. We also need to get back to the crew, as we don’t even know if they are alright.”

My eyes widened at Brook’s words. “Y/N! She must be worried sick about me!” Panic surged through me as I looked around. The slime was beginning to surround us, its sinister, glistening forms closing in from all directions.

“We need to move, now!” I said, grabbing Kinemon by the arm. “We can’t afford to stay here any longer. The crew needs us, and we have to get out of this mess before it’s too late!”

Y/N Pov… 

Groaning, I tried to shift my body, but every muscle ached, making it hard to even move. The sound of rattling chains reached my ears, and I realized my arms and wrists were restrained. Opening my eyes slightly, I saw that I was trapped.

“What the—” I muttered, frustration bubbling up inside me. “Great, Y/N, chained twice in a day. You're getting sloppy.”

“Good morning, Princess,” a voice drawled from my right. I turned to see Law, also trapped in a cage.

“Law!” I exclaimed, relief flooding me. “How did you... wait, why am I not in a cage?” I noticed that although I was still chained, I was sitting uncomfortably on a sofa instead.

“Never mind that, Princess. How are you feeling? Did Caesar do something to you?” Law asked, concern lacing his tone.

“I don’t remember much. All I know is that we were battling Caesar, and then we woke up here,” I said, trying to piece together the events.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Luffy’s voice cut through the haze as he woke up.

“How about that? We’ve all been captured,” Robin said calmly, noting the situation. Franky was still out cold, snoring away.

“Huh, we’re all in a cage?” Luffy said, looking around in confusion.

“Well, you guys are. I’m outside, but pretty much bound by chains,” I replied, glancing to my left where Smoker was sitting on the couch next to me, and Tashigi was trapped in the cage with the others. “Smokey, I gotta say, being trapped with you again truly wasn’t on my list, but look, here we are,” I added, laughing lightly.

“Shut up, you idiot. This is no time for jokes,” Smoker snapped, his tone sharp.

“Hey, I’m just trying to lighten the mood,” I said, shrugging as much as my chains would allow.

Tashigi began to struggle in her chains. “We can’t do much; these are sea prism cuffs, after all,” Law pointed out.

“Great, looks like I gotta figure something out,” I muttered, my mind already racing for a plan.

“Haha, I see you’re awake,” a new voice called out, and a woman with wings and bird-like legs walked into the room. “I see the harlot is also awake.”

I turned to her, incredulous. “Excuse me, who are you calling a harlot?” I snapped.

“You, who else? Taking my Law away from me,” the woman sneered.

I glanced at Law, mouthing, What is she on?

“I was never yours, Monet. Let’s get that straight,” Law said coldly, his eyes narrowing at her.

Law’s words seemed to cut deep as Monet’s eyes flashed with anger, but there was something else beneath that fury—hurt, perhaps? Law, however, wasn’t done yet.

“Besides, my heart belongs to another,” he added with a smirk, not even bothering to look at Monet as he said it.

Monet’s gaze then shifted to me, her expression twisted with jealousy. I could feel the tension in the air, but instead of backing down, I decided to push her buttons a little more.

“Listen, bird woman, I’m not one to get involved in affairs like this,” I said, leaning back against the uncomfortable sofa as much as my chains would allow. “But I gotta say, it’s not looking good for you at all.” I laughed, trying to get under her skin, and to my delight, it seemed to work.

Luffy, always one for a good laugh, started chuckling, and Robin soon joined in, her soft laugh filling the room.

“You think you’re funny, Princess?” Monet spat, venom dripping from every word.

“Funny? Maybe,” I replied with a smirk. “But at least I’m not the one pining after someone who clearly doesn’t want me.”

Monet’s wings twitching with barely restrained anger. She took a step closer, her eyes narrowing dangerously. “You’ll regret mocking me,” she hissed, her voice low and threatening.

“Monet, back off.” A commanding voice cut through the tension, and a man walked into the room. His presence was intimidating, and it was clear he was someone not to be trifled with. As his eyes fell on me, a slow smirk spread across his face. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Shrugging my shoulders, I met his gaze with disdain. “So I’ve been told,” I replied coolly, refusing to let him see any fear.

The man’s smirk widened as he approached me. “Feisty. I like that,” he said, his eyes lingering on me in a way that made my skin crawl.

Law’s voice cut through the tension. “Touch her, and you’ll regret it,” he warned, his tone deadly serious. 

Tashigi gasped, recognizing the man. “Why is he here?!”

Smoker’s eyes narrowed. “Well, I’ll be damned—it’s the leader of G-5, Vergo!”

I continued to struggle with my chains, desperately trying to make contact with my bracelet to activate its power. “They really tightened these chains, huh,” I gritted, frustration growing with every second.

Monet turned to Vergo, beginning to discuss Caesar’s plans. Vergo sat opposite from where Smoker and I sat, completely uninterested in the lives of his soldiers. “It seems the preparations are on their way. Too bad for those Navy soldiers,” Monet said, her voice sickly sweet.

“Vergo!” Smoker shouted, rage bubbling to the surface. “Those soldiers out there—they’re your soldiers! The G-5! And you’re just going to let them die?!”

Vergo shrugged with disinterest. “Guess so. Oh well.”

“Wow, you are one heartless man, Vergo,” I said, disgusted by his lack of empathy.

Vergo stood up, walking towards me with a menacing grin. “Y/N!” Luffy called out, struggling against his chains, his voice tinged with worry.

Vergo ignored him, his focus entirely on me. “You know, it’s hard to believe we have a lot of big names in that cage and sitting right here. It’s quite a view,” Vergo said, stopping inches away from me.

Law’s voice was low and dangerous. “Back off, Vergo. I’m warning you.”

Vergo chuckled, ignoring Law’s threats as he placed his hand on my left thigh. I tried to control the panic rising in my chest, slowly beginning to raise my right leg to activate the anklet. “Even if it’s a small kick, with a powerful strike, that’ll buy us some time,” I thought.

“You’re one sick bastard for doing this to children!” Tashigi shouted, her voice filled with disgust.

“Vice Admiral, Tashigi—you both will die as well. That way, the secrets don’t come out,” Vergo said, his hand still placed on my thigh, sending chills down my spine.

“Get off me, creep!” I yelled, trying to back away as much as I could, but Vergo’s grip tightened. He grabbed my hair, harshly pulling me closer to him.

“Y/N!” Robin called out, her voice filled with concern.

I winced in pain, groaning as I struggled to break free. “You’ve got one smart mouth on you, you know that?” Vergo sneered, pulling my hair even harder.

Law’s voice was filled with rage. “Vergo, if you don’t let go of her, I swear—”

But before Law could finish, I summoned all my strength and kicked my right leg, aiming for Vergo. But my kick was met with his Armament Haki, halting my attack and sending a jolt of pain through my leg.

“Y/N!” Luffy yelled, watching helplessly as I fell back into the sofa, breathing heavily, the pain almost unbearable.

Vergo backed up, his eyes narrowing as he assessed me. “Monet, tie her legs together. That was one strong kick,” he ordered as he walked away, leaving me breathless and yelping in pain.

Law’s eyes were filled with desperation as he watched Vergo walk away. “Y/N, hang in there,” he whispered, his voice trembling with anger and worry. “I’m not letting them get away with this. Not while I’m still breathing.”

I closed my eyes, trying to hold onto that promise, hoping that somehow, some way, help would come. Whether it was Sanji, Zoro, or any of the others—anyone who could get us out of this nightmare.

.

.

.

[anerdinallherglory]

Approaching Sun (38)

Author’s Note: Long note ahead. 

You guyssss. I’m sorry for the delay. The Sasuke that I am writing is new territory for most of us. I write, then rewrite until it feels right. And I have never rewritten my own script as much as I did in this chapter. If you enjoy my writing, please take a chance on my live draft on Wattpad called Beneath the Hollow Grove. There will be romance, so the same chemistry between characters in my fanfiction is very likely to be appearing there. This chapter is dedicated to Teo and ttsukei. Thank you for your extra support and love. It means everything.

Approaching Sun will eventually come to an end (sad but rewarding at the same time). I am guesstimating a total of 42-45 chapters total. I never foresaw A.S. being as long as it is already, or taking as nearly as long as it has to finish it. To be honest, I started this years ago to improve creative writing with my OTP, and anticipated on ditching it when my ADHD got the better of me. But the community kept asking and I kept giving. You can thank those people if you have enjoyed it because this story was written 100% in return for their comments and support.

Also, if you enjoy my SasuSaku, you can find a one-shot I wrote before A.S. on Fanfiction.net/Wattpad by the name of “Sakura’s Letter.” It fits these A.S. characters well. 

Last but not least, there is a facebook fanpage for A.S. at the link on my Tumblr if you’d like to join. Hoping to share further A.S. resources there after the story is complete. 

Songs for this chapter: Technicolour Beat by Oh Wonder & Feel Something by James Young

Thanks always, ANerdinAllHerGlory

. . .

CW: Discussion of Suicide; read with caution

Pairing: SasuSaku

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37

Chapter 38: Methods of Atonement & Eternal Burning

Just when Sakura thought the insect-glow induced spell might diminish or expire between them, she glanced over her shoulder as she bathed in the warm cave waters to see that Sasuke watched her from the bank. He sat familiarly reclined with an arm over his knee, and where Sakura might have expected his countenance to have once again returned to the smooth planes and carefully composed eyes of guardedness, she sucked in a breath to see an expression wholly new to her. His mouth was parted in a silent reverence as he beheld the cleansing paths her hands traced over her collarbones, down her neck and through her hair. Had she even thought Sasuke capable of looking at another human that way? Well, it lasted until she reached up and over her shoulder to run water down her back, right between her shoulder blades where Sasuke’s fingers had traced the Uchiha symbol. His countenance slipped, a frown of consideration deepening the lines between his brows. 

Having an idea of his annoyance, she turned her back to him and smiled silently to herself when he stood, waded waist deep into the starry-lit water to join her. 

“Washing already?” he murmured in that low Uchiha disappointment that told Sakura he was pretending to pout. And his faux ire at such a notion was pleasant enough to warm Sakura from within and she prided herself on her self-restraint in this moment, because she wanted to smile like an idiot until her face split at the creases of her lips. 

With Sasuke’s strict abstinence of years and a single-sided willpower to outlast her own desires these last several months, Sakura was pleasantly astonished to discover that Sasuke Uchiha didn’t have such restraint in that moment. Turning her to face him, he stilled her efforts completely by touching his lips to hers. And the kiss was softer. Much slower than before. Like a whisper in a cave.

Sakura had always daydreamed about what sort of lover the untouchable Uchiha, Sasuke might be. She always expected him to be as Sasuke-ish about everything possible, including his love life. He would be the sort of man to keep his interactions with her formal in the public eye, respectable, reserved, and avoiding all physical contact that some couples easily flaunted for others to see. This was the reality that Sakura had long predicted and, therefore, accepted and did not anticipate Sasuke to be the sort of partner who, over the last couple of months, might secretly hold her hand while she slept, find excuses to be next to her, crave her touch in the private moments shared between them, and kiss her tenderly even after their bodies separated. As sad as that sounded, Sakura had predicted it, because despite how much she loved him, he was still going to be Sasuke, in the most adjective form possible of the word.

Which was why Sakura certainly had not expected the overwhelming passion of moments ago, the longing that passed between their mouths and the intensity of years’ worth of suppressed feelings into such a surmounting detonation. An explosion of celestial matter.

“It’s annoying,” he growled mischievously between their lips, tearing Sakura from her thoughts as she concentrated back on his current vexation. It had to be because Sakura had washed away the traces of Uchiha symbol he had marked between her shoulder blades. She laughed in response and continued to pull him deeper into the water, ignoring his attempts to stop her from erasing the evidence of his actions. Not even his devoted mouth making her breathless and his following steps as she descended into the river, was enough to prevent Sakura from completely submerging. And with her impossible human strength, she pulled him under after her. 

Sakura saw his eyes widen in the dim glow of ethereal lights, and she grinned wickedly in return, just before complete and total blackness consumed them. The water was brisk but not freezing, the balmy cave already warming the new layers of flood water. In the depths, void of sound and light, she felt Sasuke’s arm twine around the dip in her spine, binding her body to his, and the lack of all other sensation made the grasping touch alleviate every nerve in her person. Like a healing salve to an old wound Sakura hadn’t even realized she still possessed, Sasuke’s touch was the remedy to every feeling of loss, every doubt, and confusion she had ever had in regards to him. His possessive touch that clung to her body like she was now an extension of himself made everything in the past suddenly forgivable even if what had happened wasn’t okay. It was forgivable because it brought them to this. 

That look of reverence he had been appraising her with just a moment ago was completely replaced when they surfaced, an artificial glare of mild displeasure at being drenched completely eclipsing it. “Have I told you lately that you are the most annoying woman I have ever met?”

“Twice now in the last five minutes,” she giggled, wrapping her legs around his waist as Sasuke’s feet found the smooth underground surface once more. And that glare evaporated, turning back into veneration as Sasuke’s body reacted to her embrace. And Sakura realized that needed to say something now, before his knee found a chakra-controlled perch on the glassy surface of the water and he was pulling her up with him to take her between his body and the water below. She could see that he was already envisioning something of the sort in his mind.

“The last thing I want is for this between us to end,” she announced as she wound her greedy fingers through his wet hair—she had always imagined doing this very thing and it was so satisfying to finally be able to do so. “But we’re running out of time. I need to survey the area, and in the morning, I need to report to Katsuyu in Shikkotsu Forest and check on the men I’ve captured. Waiting for the off-hand chance that remaining members of Zenshin might discover our location won’t exactly get us anywhere.”

“You need food,” he whispered against her skin, and Sakura sighed as his wet hand slid up her back to reach the same spot where he had traced the Uchiha symbol earlier, giving up his quest and washing where she could not. She knew Sasuke would be sensible with her decision to move forward with her plans and reasoned that he would probably try to focus his attention back on his own mission of Kaguya once this electricity between them dissipated into a comfortable normal.  

And as his words settled, Sakura realized she hadn’t eaten in almost forty-two hours and her stomach grumbled loudly to Sasuke’s victorious smirk as he successfully delayed their departure by a few moments more. 

. . .

Sakura returned to the central cavern after a few private minutes to herself, the charred fragrance of something crackling over a fresh fire luring her from the enchanting tunnel of glowworms. The muffled roar of the waterfall was distant and had quieted significantly enough that Sakura could hear the crack of the fire as Sasuke roasted whatever little, unfortunate, and very possibly blind cave dwellers he had managed to find down here for them to eat. 

“What are those?” she asked, crouching beside him to assess the row of tiny fish now charred and black on the skewers. 

“Something between an eel and a fish,” he announced. “Neither and both. Living fossils only found in caves.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow as she investigated the freshwater fish. She couldn’t quite make out anything distinct about them now that they had been basically cooked to a crisp. Sasuke handed her a skewer and her ravenous appetite made her overlook the unfamiliar eel-fish quickly. 

As she ate next to him, Sakura began to feel the contrasting shift in Sasuke’s demeanor. He ate silently, avoided her eyes, and kept the small space undisturbed between them as he stared off into the black beyond the illuminated circumference of their warming fire. Sakura stiffened in response, simultaneously annoyed at the change and nervous at its meaning. She searched his expression for any clue as to what he might be thinking and felt her stomach dropping the longer he refused to return her regard. Could a few moments apart have already cleared his mind and reset his determinations somehow? How could he go from “We won’t be able to go back from this” and “Until death” to being all hesitant again? Sakura halted her spiraling train of thought before she came crashing down like one of the stalactites hanging off the ceiling. Maybe it was something else and she just needed to address him directly. That was healthy, wasn’t it? 

“What’s wrong?” she blurted. “You’re overthinking things aren’t you?” She was frightened that he would answer that with more silence or even worse, a declaration of how he had thought about what had happened, decided it was a mistake, and had changed his mind. But he laughed instead, that small, signature hmph of ejected air that had Sakura sighing in relief. 

“There’s no going back now, remember?” she continued teasingly, capitalizing on his small sign of amusement at her words.  “Because It’s too late to mope and reconsider how you’re not the best for me and blah blah blah.” She would do what many women often did when faced with uncomfortable couple confrontations. She would call him out on his thinking, his pattern of behavior that signaled her anxiety, and disguise it as a lighthearted chastisement and reminder. “We get to choose each other.” 

“I meant what I’ve said,” he answered seriously before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he fumbled for the words that always tangled in his throat. “But, I was irresponsible earlier and—I am sorry. What do I need to do for—Do you need anything?” 

Oh. That. Sakura's face instantly reddened at the words, because she immediately knew what he was referring to and what exactly he had been hung up on until now. There were no precautions taken in the moment, and Sakura didn’t know if Sasuke’s questions were because he was worried Sakura might be angry about his carelessness after the fact, or worse, he might fear the possible consequences of such an impulsive choice. 

Sakura assessed his own flushed face and he looked away again, firelight-reflecting eyes revealing the warring predicament she hadn’t been able to decipher up until now. She looked down shyly as well when she answered him. 

“You don’t have to worry,” she whispered, genuinely hoping to ease his concerns even if a small part of her wished he didn’t have any. “I had prepared before… before the brothel. Just in case.”

And as his eyes snapped to her face, Sakura saw him set his jaw in understanding and trap the words he was holding there. Sakura didn’t make any adjustments to her phrase or retract her statement, because it was the truth of it, and even if it wasn’t the exact answer he cared to hear, she hoped it would be enough reassurance for him. Before Sakura had left Sunagakure, she had prepped the bag of contraceptives, taking several doses before handing over what was left to Tabi, the girl Sakura had entrusted the supplies to before she left. She hadn’t planned on using her body as Sasuke had originally feared she meant to do, but Sakura also wasn’t naïve to think she might be completely untouchable despite her claims to Sasuke that she was. As a woman, physician, and ninja, she wasn’t going to be unprepared walking into a brothel; she had also reminded herself that it would be a wise choice to get started on them anyway after expressing her desires to Sasuke about being more. Regardless, the contraceptive had been taken and the doses were supposed to last months per measurement, so Sakura wasn’t too concerned about her and Sasuke’s actions tonight. 

When Sasuke stiffened and made to angle his body back toward the fire, Sakura reached out for his hand and gently grasped his fingers, a now special form of communication between them. In the beginning of their traveling together, the tender touches between them had been the first blessed crack in the ice constructed walls of Sasuke Uchiha—the big bang initiation that led to the them of now. And she hoped the gesture would work for her again as she used it once more to bring him back to the warmth they had discovered together behind those walls. 

Sakura focused on her courage, fighting to have the desire to stay on the topic while it was before them. Even if her preservatory instinct was to move on from the subject as quickly as possible, Sakura knew that the mature, responsible thing to do would be to discuss it. Thoroughly, so that they could come to an agreement, find common ground, and try to be on the same page heading forward. It was a condition to their partnership that they had long since established: communication. 

“Sasuke, I understand if you don’t want a family right now.” And he was looking away from her again as he, too, struggled to overcome the new discomfort of serious “couple” conversations between them. Sakura’s heart panged as she thought that maybe this nervousness meant that Sasuke Uchiha would never want children, even with her. She told herself to breathe, and not jump ahead, but she couldn’t resist voicing her fear: “Do you never–"

“It’s not a never,” he shuttered, finding her eyes with his own. “It’s just—my mission concerning Kaguya is unforeseeable.” He found her eyes and looked down when he saw the sadness his response instantly elicited in her face. He rushed to add, squeezing her fingers back. “But I promise to fight for that future. I’ll find the Otsusuki race. I’ll make the world safe so I can come back to you.”

Sakura nodded, her heart still feeling unsettled at such a promise. She reminded herself that by choosing Sasuke, she was choosing him and him alone. She wouldn’t force him to abandon his goals in order to be a husband and a father. “Even if we spend our lives like orbiting stars, passing one another in the night,” she had promised. “The miniscule amount of time I spend next to you will be more than I would want with anyone else.” It was her own vow to him, and Sakura had never meant truer words. Sakura knew what this life meant, and she could tell by the look on his face that he was worried, already concerned that she was regretting. And maybe in her heart, she was disheartened that their reality would be a difficult one. Sakura would be sacrificing several dreams, and she would have to make her peace with it all in time, because despite it all, she wanted Sasuke more than anything else. She also wanted a peaceful future, and Sasuke was the only person, in a combined effort with Naruto’s future leadership, capable of ensuring that it came to pass by fulfilling his side. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he shook his head, and Sakura saw him steel himself with a breath before forcing out, “I’m already sorry for so much. I think I’ll live our entire lives being sorry, Sakura.”

She gently squeezed his hand and shook her head as well. “I meant what I said too. I want this life with you, whatever it looks like. And of course, I eventually want a family with you, but only if that’s what you want, too. It comes second to everything else. Or not at all. Okay?”

He nodded in obvious relief and, to Sakura’s continuing list of surprises, pulled her to him. Her hands found his chest to brace herself and he inhaled the scent of her hair, whispering an apology in the crook of her neck. She kissed his lips sweetly with a comforting smile, but Sasuke took advantage and kissed her again, fervently, tenderly, consolingly in return. And Sakura decided to let him push her to the ground beneath him where his hand slid up her thigh. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Sakura made the connection that Sasuke’s conversation skills were barely adequate, but that in the private moments between them, he would choose to compensate for it with the language of bodies. This, too, was not what Sakura had expected, but it made sense that the stoic, awkward Uchiha might choose to express himself with the dedicated dialect spoken with the only other person who could receive, comprehend, and appreciate that language. With her legs tossed over his shoulders, and her fingers in his hair, and Sasuke’s head between her thighs, Sakura submitted completely as he made her forget her current and future grievances. He devoted his apology to her body like an act of repentance, and Sakura decided she would take him, take the man who promised a lifetime of regretful apologies, if this was his method of atonement. Sakura didn’t know that apologies could come in the form of slow arousals, roaming tongues, and­­—holy shit, suction. The sound of his own name from her mouth was the only verbalization of forgiveness that Sasuke needed in their mutually exclusive vernacular.

.

.

.

Sasuke was a fucking idiot. He had thought this to himself as he fisted each and every eel fish coasting below his feet, as he tried to explain his thoughts to her about starting a family, and even now as he stared at her back as they lay tangled together in sleep for the second night. Adding to the list of self-deprecations, Sasuke cursed himself for foregoing the Uchiha symbol on his clothing several years ago as an act of penance. At the time, Sasuke had felt that in order to preserve whatever was left of his clan’s dignity, he needed to part with wearing the symbol until after he felt properly atoned. He didn’t want his past and image to represent the Uchiha, furthering the disgrace of his clan in the eyes of those who knew their history or was learning of it for the first time. But as he had traced the symbol between Sakura’s shoulder blades, Sasuke had had the realization that Sakura, the only other person to bear the Uchiha name, was now going to be the new face representing their clan. In contrast to himself, Sakura had always been unwavering in her goodness, unblemished by wrongdoings, and righteously leading a new generation of mental health advocates and creating new healthcare standards. Her reach would know no bounds and there wouldn’t be a better individual walking this dimension to wear the Uchiha crest, to start a new history associated with it. It wouldn’t be Sasuke leading the Uchiha clan into the future; it would be her. 

Which is why he was cursing himself now for not possessing at least one article of clothing with his crest so that he could be staring at her back in the firelight as she boasted the mark that identified her to the world as an Uchiha and as his. Did that make him a possessive bastard? Probably. But it was an Uchiha trait to be so and Sasuke was more Uchiha in both good and bad senses of the word than many before him. 

And, he thought privately to himself, if his actions of last night bore the natural consequences, there could be two individuals aside from himself demonstrating to the world what the Uchiha could be. Which is why he was a fucking idiot. Because fuck, he wanted that reality as much as his next breath of oxygen. He wanted to be staring at his family’s backs as a miniature raven-haired child clung to his wife’s hand through a busy Konoha market street. It was why he had made a mistake last night, choosing to recklessly chase his high with abandon because it was the dream he wanted—knew that at the end of the day, was what Sakura wanted too. And that’s why it had devastated him to make that apology to his new wife, prepared to do what he needed to do to not force the responsibility of a child on Sakura alone while he had no choice but to continue on his mission to find those who Kaguya feared, the rest of the Otsusuki race. 

He had even fucked up that apology, incompetently trying to form the words. How did he tell the woman he had just tied to himself in a cave of stars that he fucking wanted to watch her grow heavy with the swell of his child while simultaneously dreading the reality of what that would mean for her. And for him. He would miss it. He would miss all of it. He had promised Sakura a fifty-fifty partnership, and Sasuke had only just realized how badly he would fail that promise.

And these thoughts continued into the morning as the fissure in the ceiling went from boasting the brightest of stars above them to the thin purpling stripe of summer dawn, and Sakura rose from their tangled sleep, a new set determination in her shoulders to handle the members of the organization she had sent days ago into the home of her personal summon, Katsuyu. 

“What’s your plan?” he asked as she turned to face him, triple folding his borrowed black trousers along her hips to make them fit better. They still hung loosely around her calves and she rolled the arms of his long sleeved shirt until the cuffs were chunky and hit her wrists exactly. He raised an eyebrow appreciatively knowing that Sakura was just making do, but the vision of her sporting a modified version of his attire sent his mind back into a perilous orbit. 

“You’re not going to like your options in my plan,” she announced, oblivious to his wandering eyes. 

That statement was more than sobering and it instantly put Sasuke on guard. He frowned at her. 

She swallowed before saying, “You can stay here and focus on your—"

“Don’t finish that sentence,” he bristled as he interrupted her, getting really tired of hearing that phrase come out of her mouth—even though he had been the one say it a million times before this. He guessed that he deserved to hear it as often as he had said it. “I’m going with you.”

The absolute irony of his words hit them both immediately as he said it. 

The pink-haired kunoichi laughed and rubbed the back of her neck as she bluntly said, “Then your second option is to be very still while Katsuyu swallows you whole, and I release her summoning back to Shikkotsu Forest. It’s the only way for you to get there. Just like the rest of them.”

Sasuke’s eye visibly twitched. “And option three is?”

“You could walk, but it would take you weeks to catch up, not to mention how much work it would take to avoid the hazards of Shikkotsu Forest such as beasets, acid pools, and toxin seeping trees.”

Sasuke tried not to be miffed that she was suggesting it might be difficult for him to traverse Shikkotsu Forest, even though he had spent the last several years exploring similar dimensions, but he trusted that if she was saying that it was bad, then it probably very well was. “And you were planning on transporting these people back to Konoha, how exactly?”

“The same way I plan on getting you in and out.”

He groaned and she smiled innocently. 

They had to get these people back to Konoha somehow. Not to mention the dozens of Zenshin members Sasuke had tossed into a dimension two days ago, telling them to begin their walk northeast for about thirty kilometers where they would find a stash of supplies Sasuke kept there to sustain them while they waited for his return. He hadn’t bothered to explain that if they weren’t at the designated spot, where the dimension spaces crossed with the Leaf Village, they would eventually die in that dimension. At the time, he hadn’t quite cared what happened to them in there, and he selfishly hadn’t spared them another thought sense. Sasuke supposed that it was a tiny reason to speed things along so he didn’t have any unnecessary victims, even if they did deserve it, at the very least, for not being able to follow simple instructions. He just didn’t want to have to explain it to Sakura. 

And the next thing Sasuke knew, Katsuyu was being summoned and Sasuke was resigned to a slimy fate of the inching human-sized slug as it ascended his body. And that pink-haired woman of his had the absolute audacity to declare teasingly with a grin, “It would be easier if you were laying down,” but he only glared at her with his most severe displeasure, not having the time to respond or even scoff before the damn thing had consumed his face entirely. And as Sasuke was encapsulated in a bath of mucus, water, and salt—yes, it somehow got in his fucking mouth (probably when he lifted his lip to sneer at Sakura’s black-streaked cheeks and sadistic expression)—he realized with a newfound appreciation how endearing Aoda seemed in comparison. That was indeed one beautiful snake.  

And within moments, Sasuke found himself on his back, eyes projected toward a tree canopy so dense, the light struggled to penetrate below, creating a blue-green cast that darkened the forest around him. Travelling from the aphotic void of the underground sanctuary of seconds ago to the ear-piercing hum of the insect and amphibian infested jungle of a forest, left Sasuke feeling deafened by the abrasive cacophony. In a satirical form of irony, Sasuke suddenly wasn’t so opposed to the slug form currently detaching itself from his face and ears. Katsuyu, the source and embodiment of healing itself, even left the Uchiha feeling more restored than before which made Sasuke just the tiniest bit sorry for his initial disgust towards the creature. He bit back his urge to say something in condolence to the beast who had no initial indication of his discomfort to begin with, so Sasuke bit his lip, feeling all sorts of confused feelings in that moment. 

“Sasuke,” the slug spoke to him in her singsong of a voice, “Milady will be present shortly, appearing where my main body is two miles north of here. She asked me to deposit you here to help corral a man back to the central location. He has wandered to this location.” 

Sasuke instantly frowned at the slug’s words. He supposed some silent conversation had happened between Katsuyu and Sakura in the minute it took to transport him. That, or this was some clever way to distract Sasuke while she took advantage of the distance he still had to traverse. Hadn’t the kunoichi just told him that the Shikottsu Forest was a hazard maze? Well, she obviously had more faith in his abilities than she had let on when discussing option three, the annoying tease. 

Sasuke took in his surroundings more carefully, trees taller than the Hokage Monument towering to the sky as vines thicker than Aoda twisted up and around them. It made the forest where the Chunin Exams were held almost miniature in scale. Sasuke supposed it made sense that beasts of gargantuan size such as the three Sanin summons to have come from even larger habitats, environmental determinism and all that. 

A thick fog hovered above the ground, and Sasuke stood and leaned his head up to view the treetops above, breathing in as he activated his ocular jutsu, the tomoes spinning into both red and purple eyes. With his dual dojutsu, Sasuke surveyed the area more closely, peering beyond the fog blanketed trees in front of him, where the treacherous swamp and pools of bubbling black acid threatened to pull him into a fiery oblivion like the siren call of an eternally burning river in hell. Sakura had been right to warn him of this place; she had personally encountered Kaguya’s acid-sea dimension, after all. Acid didn’t stop burning until it could be scrubbed from the skin. Falling in a lagoon of it would be the absolute worst of deaths. Sasuke moved forward, toward the chakra network and watery outline of the soul he was supposedly sent to retrieve. Approximately fifty meters beyond the trees in his immediate vision, Sasuke analytically watched the flickering figure before him, their heartbeat speedily beating as they stood erect, still, and unmoving. 

Sighing, Sasuke moved toward the individual, slowly and silently, contemplating what exactly Sakura had expected him to do. It was indeed perilous, to navigate the small path that winded between acid reservoirs, and Sasuke’s footfalls were near silent as he proceeded with slow and deliberate caution. The physical form of Sasuke’s fixation materialized from the mist, a man who stood before one of the black, endless, gurgling acid ponds. The stranger’s back was turned to Sasuke and, unexpectedly, the man’s head tilted in Sasuke’s direction as he detected the Uchiha’s approaching presence. Sasuke raised an eyebrow privately at the man’s perceptiveness despite Sasuke’s silent footfalls. He had to be a ninja, then, without a shadow of a doubt, if he was able to sense him. 

Sasuke took in the man’s appearance more carefully: tall, dark hair, a tailor-fitted suit as if he were some sort of mobster instead of a ninja. Of course, that suit now displayed various tears and holes, the wearable evidence of days in the Shikkotsu Forest. Was he missing a shoe? 

“Reaper?” came his voice next, a resigned, melancholic breathlessness as if he were talking to himself rather than acknowledging Sasuke’s presence. 

Sasuke was getting that sort of association a lot lately. If the world continued to sense him as such before they even knew him, was he honestly doing a well enough job redeeming himself? He shook the thought away.

“But I haven’t done it yet,” the man whispered again, just before toeing the pool of acid with is remaining shoed foot. He screamed instantly when the acid ate through the leather of his sole and found his toes. He bent, ripping the melting shoe away. Well, that explained the first shoe, then, Sasuke assessed. And then Sasuke’s gut was sinking as the man straightened his back, finding the resolve to do it again, and the entire situation started to make a lot more sense to him. Just exactly why Sakura had sent Sasuke to retrieve him. The slug had known what the man was planning, what was about to happen.

The man was going to jump—all in, at once. He bent, sucking in a loud breath as if he were about to dive. And then propelled his body into the air. And Sasuke’s Rinnegan was activating before he could even register his choices. And within seconds, Sasuke’s body had replaced the man with himself feet above the black abyss of acid, and now he was on the planned trajectory of the consequences of this man’s suicide attempt. And before Sasuke could even question whether or not a ninja might be able to direct chakra and walk along the surface of acid like they did water, the Eternal Mangekyo of his right eye was spinning, and the skeletal arms of his imperfect Susanoo shot out and braced their hands on either side of the acid pond. Sasuke sneered in the man’s direction after he righted himself and stepped down onto the bank and stalked back toward the man who now lay sprawled where Sasuke had just been standing seconds before. 

The giant fist of the Susanoo shot outward, collecting the man into its glowing grip, the blazing yellow eyes of the Susanoo’s face inches from his own. 

The man cried out in surprise, probably believing that he had indeed fallen into the realm that came after death. But his next words gave Sasuke pause. “Who’s there?” Despite the man’s initial fear, Sasuke suddenly realized that he wasn’t seeing the Susanoo at all. He felt the grip that held him, the crushing digits of the chakra-controlled entity, but he cast his wide eyes about as if not sure where he should be looking. 

And then Sasuke saw it. The dirty bandage-wrapping that had fallen from his eyes at some point to rest around his neck like a prophetic noose. Because the man had been correct. It was the Reaper that had found him. Sasuke was going to finish the man himself because recognition hit the Uchiha in full force. He had seen this ninja before in the memories of that girl at the brothel. Before him was the ninja who had pulled Sakura into his lap and touched her black-dyed hair as if she had been his to do so. Rugo. That was the name Sakura had relayed to him over a campfire in a cave, and Sasuke had let the name sear a hole into his memory the same way the flames of that fire burned into his vision. He would never forget it. 

“You were right the first time,” Sasuke smirked, gladly becoming that deathbringer of his fear, the darkness in the Uchiha like an incurable itch that he sometimes craved to scratch. Even though it was when he indulged himself, that he got into trouble, Sasuke still couldn’t resist the urge when it came to defending his friends.

“Uchiha,” Rugo breathed, more solid but still another fearful recognition coming from his lips. “You might as well be.” He grunted as the Susanoo’s fingers tightened as if they were Sasuke’s own.

“That’s right.” Sasuke confirmed, that characteristic drawl he used with his enemies coming back full force out of Sakura’s company. “You should have been faster. There’s nothing that burns like the black flames of Amaterasu. It doesn’t stop burning until there’s nothing left. The acid would have been a mercy in comparison.” 

A steely calm came over Rugo’s face and Sasuke didn’t quite care for it. “I don’t know where she is. I had found her. Begged her to help me. And the next thing I knew, I woke up in this godforsaken place with those bastards for company.”

Sasuke registered his words with that signature “hn,” of acknowledgement, but nothing more. But internally, Sasuke was at war with himself. This was one of the men who had touched her. Sakura, his Team 7 teammate. And now she was more than that; she was his. This bastard had touched his fucking wife. The scene of that girls’ memories played over and over in his mind like his own personal hell of Sharingan genjutsu. But all he could hear was her. Those convicting words of her letter playing in his skull, still tucked against his chest as if it could be the second heart to operate and stand in place for his blackened one: ‘remember who you are.’ Damn, he really wasn’t trying hard enough honor his promise to himself, was he? Quite frankly, Sasuke didn’t want to. But Sakura’s order through the memory of mud and rain pounded in his ears as she yelled: “This isn’t who you are anymore! You can be merciful!” A declaration of weight whispered in a cave between bent heads came to him next: “You’re not a monster. Naruto and I will not let you be a monster.” 

Sakura had sent him here. Knowing everything she did, the woman he loved still believed it was going to be Sasuke who would be the best between the two of them to retrieve this man. And he was suddenly very annoyed with her unwavering faith in him because it suddenly made Sasuke feel like he had to be worth that faith. Damn slug should have just left the issue—let the man do as he pleased. 

Aw, fuck. Fine. 

Sasuke sneered as he dropped the man to the ground before him, his Susanoo of chakra retreating back into the essence of him. The man scrambled to his knees and Sasuke turned and began to walk off before he changed his mind. “You’re very fortunate that the woman you speak of spared your life,” he drawled. “It’s the only reason I do now.” And after the wide eyed, unseeing man blanched, Sasuke added: “But by all means—don’t let me get in the way of what you were doing.”

The man nodded once, that serious, resolved expression returning to his ashen face. 

But even as Sasuke put distance between them, his feet slowed when Rugo’s voice carried after him. “You’ve found her then. It’s the only way you would know how we got here. That’s good.”

Just keep walking, Sasuke told himself. Let the man do as he wished. He would tell Sakura that he hadn’t killed the man, at the very least. And what else could she honestly have expected of him? What was he supposed to do? Talk to him? She was delusional. Grab the stranger by the collar of his suit and corral him back toward her, the last person he wanted within a mile of her? Hmph. Unlikely.

“It must be wonderful,” Rugo exclaimed as he found a tree to lean back against. “To look at her. To watch that mouth and that hair.” The man let out a small groan. “I can only imagine it. She was the last woman I ever laid my eyes on. Not a bad view, for the last thing to see.”

Sasuke closed his eyes as the manipulative declaration designed to ensnare his rage hit his ears. And his feet came to an abrupt halt. He counted to three before he spoke next. “You really do have a death wish, don’t you?” Fucking bastard, testing his fragile resolve.

“You’re a fool to let her do what she did,” Rugo announced, and Sasuke wondered where all of a sudden, he found the fucking nerve. Probably was trying to get the Uchiha to run him through with his katana or burn him alive with unrelenting flame. “Now, Mozai will do more than just kill her. He’s vengeful, and he will make her pay for what she’s done personally. She’s done nothing but paint a bigger target on her back. And you let her.” 

Sasuke had never been so tempted to laugh. As if he could stop that woman from doing anything she set her mind to. The two of them were alike in that way. “And if he ever dares to come close enough, he’ll see her back for himself and learn exactly who she is now and who he dares to fuck with.” Because Sakura Haruno was an Uchiha now, and he would soon show the world that. She would wear his crest. Their symbol. He had already decided it, but it was without question now. He would beg her if he had to.

Rugo laughed, and Sasuke turned to see him bend forward over his knees. “It won’t be enough.”

“Then tell me how to find him,” Sasuke drawled again. “I’ll kill him right after I’m done killing you.”

“I don’t know where he is. He could be anywhere. He is never in the same place, always moving.”

“There’s not a corner in this world where I have not been,” Sasuke told him. “I’ll find him soon.”

“That’s a relief. Good riddance.”

And Sasuke was a little curious to know why this man was even with them if he expressed hate for the leader. Rugo had said something about begging Sakura to help him? And Sasuke eyes flickered back toward the man’s bandages as Sasuke made the connections. He was blind. He was able to recognize Sakura in a brothel despite being so. She had been the last person he had seen before blindness… The war, then, Sasuke concluded. Rugo had been injured in the shinobi war.

“Is that why you’re set on killing yourself then?” Sasuke asked after a second of indecision. He was in the limbo of not caring, and being mildly curious simply because Sakura had been involved in some way. His interest was more along the lines of knowing one’s enemy and their motivations. “Because you lost your vision?” Sasuke scoffed cruelly. 

“You couldn’t possibly understand, so don’t pretend that you do,” came Rugo’s angry accusation. “You’ve been blessed with the visual prowess of gods. You get to see the people you love.”

Sasuke sighed. He really wanted to just walk away, but for some reason, Sakura was always involving him with people who needed some sort of reality check. Sasuke wasn’t Naruto, but damn if he didn’t always end up in situations where he knew exactly what that idiot might say to these men. Something about joining him on his journey to bring peace to the shinobi world as if he were some sort of Saint to be followed. And hell, it had worked on Sasuke and many more, hadn’t it? Sasuke sighed in decided annoyance. Sasuke wasn’t inherently good like Naruto, but he had learned a few things over the last few years to draw upon for this speech. Especially in the last few months. 

“I would give it up in an instant,” Sasuke told the blind man. “These eyes are a curse. They come with power and responsibility. If I could trade them for the life of peace that you could have, I would switch places with you this very second. Even with my vison intact, I soon won’t see get to see the people I care about most for a very long time. But if I were you, I could still hear her. Touch her. Not a second spent, would I miss these eyes and the mission that comes with them.”

And how true it all was. Because Sasuke had been literally blinded for a year after the war as he sat in a prison cell in Konoha with his eyes sealed and covered. But as he looked back on it now, it had been such a peaceful year, knowing that it was all out of his control and it was alright to do absolutely nothing for a year. And then she came. Every day, without fail. Just as his friend had attended his bedside in their youth, Sakura had come to visit him. She was only allowed forty minutes to check on him as a physician, and they didn’t talk much at first. But damn, if it didn’t quickly become the forty minutes of every day that he looked forward to. Now, he realized it might have been the only thing to carry his sanity out of that endless darkness. 

If he were blind like Rugo, then maybe he could be present. His lack of power would make it so. The job of hunting down the Otsusuki race would fall onto someone else’s shoulders. And in exchange, maybe Sasuke could be there every day. Wake beside her every day. Touch, taste, fuck, and hear her tell him that she loved him over and over. Have children with her. Hold their tiny bodies against his chest as he whispered his own declaration of love to them. Every. Day. Even if he had to tolerate Naruto’s nonsense daily for the rest of his life, it would be worth it. He would be the better man, and leave the fallen Sasuke behind.

“Get up. Come to the Leaf. Live a simple life. And if you must be ambitious, fight with us to create a world of peace for the next generation.”

And as Rugo’s sightless eyes filled with tears, Sasuke felt a little more like Naruto. Because he meant those words. 

.

.

.

“Took you long enough,” one of the men spat in Sakura’s direction as she stared down the twenty-seven individuals who were now looking back at her as an enemy; there was a narrowing of the eyes, a hesitation in their shoulders, and the erratic exchanging of nervous looks, that was not displayed back at the brothel when they merely thought she was an instrument of sex. In the span of a few days, she had taught them the mistake of underestimating someone. 

They were gathered around a campfire, cooking some poor scrap of a thing they had managed to catch in these woods. They should consider themselves lucky that they hadn’t become the meals themselves here. If not for Katsuyu’s looming gargantuan presence nearby that warded away other predators, they undoubtedly would be. Many of them appeared haggard around the firelight and the dense tree coverage combined with the dimming sky already gave the appearance of night. Owls of monstrous size hooted in the distance, already eager for the night and the prey it would bring them. The members of Zenshin, in contrast, did not seem as keen. They sat huddled together as if in perpetual watch for whatever beast might pay them a visit tonight. 

“I’m sorry,” Sakura smiled brightly despite their stabbing glares, “afraid of the dark, are we?”

There were murmurs of varying degrees of bitterness and disbelief. There were even some choice words Sakura ignored completely as she moved into their company. They were like wolves, snapping and growling as she got near them, and like wolves, a few of them decided to charge her. 

The first man, the loudmouth of the group whose person Sakura had originally aimed for first back at the brothel, and then used his identity to fool his friends later, boldly sprinted in her direction. With murderous, bloodshot eyes and a gaping mouth, he brought his open hands together at the thumbs as if he meant to choke her, but Sakura quickly remedied his mistake. Her foot shot out, her monstrous strength sending him hurtling into the gigantic tree in their immediate proximity. There was a crunch and a splintering of wood, and Sakura felt more sorry for the tree than the man who would walk away fine after she healed him. Sakura couldn’t say the same for the poor, hollowed out tree. She winced, already prepared to apologize to Katsuyu for the violation of the sacred forest. 

“Araki!” came a feminine screech as the man slid down from the tree like one of Katsuyu’s many slug divisions, and he crashed to the forest floor with a groan. Recognizing the voice who had called out to him, Sakura quickly identified the white-haired, Boil Release Kekkei Genkai ninja whom Sakura had battled with days ago. She stood from where she was sitting among the men next to the fire and she pointed an accusing finger at Sakura as she screamed, “You bitch! That wasn’t necessary!”

“Hello, again,” Sakura waved and the girl growled as she fisted both her palms with radiating fury. “Mind if I sit?” Sakura asked unbothered, before coming as close as she dared to the group, a body’s space away from the fire and sat crisscross as a large scroll materialized with a poof in the palm of her hand. She unfurled it, a white, encrypted document that served as a dividing line between them. 

Staring back at their blank, confused expressions, Sakura got straight to the point. “This is the warrant for your individual arrests by both Sunagakure and Konoha as declared, signed, and sealed by the Fifth Kazekage and Seventh Hokage respectively. Each of you will receive a minimum of ten years in either correctional facility on the account of trespassing, kidnapping, attempted murder, or at the very least, illegal engagement in sexual acts for compensation.”

As she spoke, the outrage grew loud again but it fell on deaf ears as Sakura continued to read the document. 

“However,” Sakura added with the snapping of the scroll as it tightly retracted back into form. “You will be given the choice of where to serve your sentences.” 

The outrage quickly grew to silence as Sakura modified the original, documented warrant with her own condition.  

“You can serve your various sentences back in Sunagakure, where the Kazekage eagerly awaits you. While serving your sentence, you will become potential new test subjects for the Kazekage’s new Mental Health clinic, and simultaneously perform excavation indentures to further create the sand dungeons you’ll be staying in.”

Their faces paled, so Sakura informed them of their second choice. “Or, you may return with me to Konoha where you’ll quickly be enrolled in the Mental Health clinic already established, perform community service, and also qualify for parole based on good behavior and reform. Those are your two options.”

And of course, there was always that wise guy who had to add: “And what makes you think we will go willingly to either?”

“You see,” Sakura smiled again, leaning back on her arms as if she were content to rest there. As if it were just another night around the warm campfire for Team 7 as they traveled for a mission. She gestured to the buzzing forest around them that grew darker by the minute.  “Coming with me will be the only way to leave this place. You’re more than welcome to stay here and try to find your way out on your own. But I wouldn’t recommend it.”

They carefully considered her words after that. They exchanged petrified glances and shook their heads at one another. 

“Perfect,” Sakura clapped her hands together in artificial delight, retrieving a separate scroll from thin air and an ink brush followed after, plopping onto the ground as it was summoned. Sakura unfurled this one too, a red blank document that she instantly divided down the center with the following two headings: “Konoha” and “Sunagakure.” She glanced over their shoulders to regard Araki first, who still lay unconscious in front of the tree he had been hurled ungracefully in to. She wrote down his name first and said to herself: “Araki, Konoha.”

“You can’t choose for him!” seethed the white-haired female who had returned to a seated position at some point, but still stared into Sakura’s person as if she could boil her alive just from staring at her. Sakura made a mental note to stay out of touching distance from her. This girl didn’t seem the type to retain information from the lessons others taught her. 

“I can,” Sakura responded, “because he is going to need medical attention and will need to come with me in order to do that. Should I mark him under ‘Sunagakure,’ instead? If he lives from that, you can explain why you made that decision for him.”

The girl didn’t respond and so Sakura left it. “Ok then. Who else chooses Konoha?” There was a hesitation at first as no hands were raised. But a motion in the back caught Sakura’s attention. Not looking at her directly, a man sporting a familiar red, hooded cloak raised one of his mutilated and scarred hands. Sakura winced as she recognized the man who had attacked her, groping at her body before Sasuke ignited him with black flames.“Remember that I spared your life,” she had said to this man after interfering in Sasuke’s torture-attempt, and Sakura didn’t know if he raised his hand now because he felt indebted to her, needed further medical attention for his hands, or something else. But it didn’t matter, because like the first rain drop before the torrent of many, his hand was followed by the others.  

Sakura placed a fake frown on her lips despite her internal relief. “Not a single person wants to attend Sunagakure? Gaara is going to be so disappointed.” And Kakashi, she thought to herself, when he realized he was about to gain twenty-seven new fugitives to care for. She could already imagine the Hokage’s slack jawed surprise when she showed up with them tomorrow. 

Not a single voice responded, and Sakura grinned as she stood and dusted the forest floor from Sasuke’s oversized slacks. “Well, that’s settled then. We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

“Morning?!” someone called out. “Why not now, before the sun sets?”

Sakura looked around as if she had only just noticed it was growing dark. The crickets of nighttime began to chirp, large amphibians exchanged mating calls, and some growling beast began its nightly prowl with a roar in the distance. “I think one more night will be good for you.” Just to remind them of their choices. 

And with impeccable timing, something he always managed to seem to have, Sasuke emerged from the woods behind her. His red and purple eyes seemed to glow from the shadows as if he, too, were some nocturnal beast of the Shikkotsu Forest come to pay them a visit. He stalked forward like a panther until he stood beside her. Those who might have had anything to say grew wide-eyed and gasped at his arrival, not coming to recognize him even as he stared each of them down. His gaze flickered to the red-cloaked individual in the back whose hands he had decimated, and his eyes seemed to rest on him longer than the others.  

“Did you find him?” Sakura asked the Uchiha and his eyes reluctantly slid to hers in the darkening woods. He dipped his chin in a silent nod before gesturing behind him with a tilt of his head. Slowly, as if moving at a much slower space, Rugo stepped out of the trees behind them. At his appearance, the voices around the campfire picked up once again and they mocked, belittling the man who had made promises of walking into the woods and not returning. One man even went as far as saying, “Should have been a man and gone through with it, Rugo. Mozai will kill you anyway—” but he stopped midsentence and began screaming. The rest of the group panicked, scattering like cockroaches away from the individual, trying to identify the source of his torment. 

But as Sakura glance to her left and saw Sasuke’s Sharingan, she knew instantly that it was him, taking it upon himself to silence the man with a torturous genjutsu. After the screaming continued for longer than what made her comfortable, Sakura sent a pointed look to her teammate. The shrieking died after that, but Sasuke added for good measure, “Be quiet. All of you—before you piss me off.” 

Rugo didn’t stop until he came within a few feet of Sakura, and even though she knew he couldn’t see her, he stopped and stared at her as if he could, as if by sheer will alone, he might be able to. Sakura held his unseeing eyes as she chewed her lip in thought about how she might be able to help him through this more, before he silently turned and headed back toward the fire, sitting alone and far away from the group. He looked morose, haggard, and was he barefoot? 

“I’ll be right back,” she informed Sasuke who turned to follow her anyway. She thought of asking him to stay behind and keep watch over the group, but she thought better of it. She had informed them of their options. They were free to make a run for it…if they dared to. 

“Where are you going?” came Sasuke’s peeved, clipped question once they were out of earshot. She rolled her eyes even as her medical mind whirred and calculated. Despite the gloom and perilous nature of The Shikkotsu Forest, it was also a goldmine, a plethora of hard-to-obtain plants and fauna that made Sakura’s eyes sparkle in delight. Now, some of these things were rather tricky to get your hands on, but it made them all the more tempting. 

H. Perforatum, for example, a yellow-flowering shrub that grew tangled at the base of large trees, was highly sought after for its medical properties; Shikkotsu Forest supposedly had it in abundance but no one dared to face the Shikkotsu Forest just to get their hands on it. Unfortunately, the trees here also often oozed toxic, milky-white sap that blistered the skin on contact, which would make the extraction complicated. But Sakura didn’t tell Sasuke that as she circled several bushes like one of Kakashi’s scent hounds on the trail. 

“I’m looking for a plant known to help with depression. I’d like to offer it to Rugo and see if it can be help to him.”

She didn’t see Sasuke’s blink of surprise, but she felt it in his silence. She knew he didn’t care enough about it to ask further. At least until she snatched her hand away from a tree just in time before a sizzling dewdrop of white fluid fell from a branch, narrowly missing her fingers. Sasuke frowned at her and she smiled innocently while moving on to the next tree. 

“Leave it,” Sasuke said as he peered up at the trees with a newfound trepidation. “He’s fine now.”

But Sakura discounted his words, plowing on until she saw it: the blue-green leaves and the bright starshaped, yellow flower clusters that Sakura had been desperate to get her hands on since she formulated the plan of coming here. It would be revolutionary in its use with her Mental Health clinics. And as she bent to pluck them greedily, she glanced above her head to watch for falling sap, but was surprised to find the purple hand of Sasuke’s Susanoo stretched above her. He stood cross-armed and aloof beside her, acting as if he had little regard for her tasks, but Sakura smiled to herself as the arm of charka reached out from his body with the intent to protect her from searing drops overhead. Seeing him do so reminded her of simpler times during their Genin youth, when Sasuke’s attitude was abrasive, but his actions always spoke his true feelings. 

“Was it his permanent vision loss that made him want to do it?” Sakura inquired as she loaded the pockets of Sasuke’s oversized pants with yellow flora. Katsuyu told me he was in danger of himself, and I couldn’t think of why else.” There were millions of Katsuyu divisions spread through the forest, keeping tabs on all of Sakura’s charges, and the slug who had come to transport Sasuke to Shikkotsu had told her of the situation after Sasuke had been swallowed.

“Hn.” Sasuke acknowledged as she shifted beside her and she nodded, understanding that Sasuke might not give any more details than that. Sakura wasn’t exactly sure what to expect from sending Sasuke, but she had hoped he would be able to handle the situation better than she might even though it was her expertise. Maybe it was an instinct, knowing that Sasuke might be the right person to talk to someone who had lost his vision. He had been able to convince him somehow, and for that she was grateful. 

Sasuke surprised her again when he spoke lowly. “I’ve told him to come to the Leaf and he agreed.” 

“They’ll all be coming to the Leaf,” she informed him, popping one of the yellow flowers into her mouth, tucking it into the inside of her cheek to ruminate. It was both simultaneously bitter and pleasant; sort of like drinking Black Tea. It would be better brewed like a tea, but chewing would have to suffice for now.  

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her words. “And we’ll be taking the slug express back to Konoha, how, again, if you’re here? You left that part out.”

“Lady Tsunade is waiting for the signal. She’ll perform the summoning that will take us all back to the Leaf.”

“Hmph,” he smirked, not being able to hide his regard for her ability to thoroughly plan something out to this extent in the span of twenty-four hours. 

Sakura may have been a medic, but she was a ninja first. She wasn’t a mastermind strategist like Shikamaru, but she could hold a candle to many team leaders of her generation. A small pang of regret filled Sakura’s chest at the thought. She would never have a rookie team of her own to lead because she had dedicated her life to medical science. 

Knowing that she wouldn’t get the chance once they returned to the watching eyes and glaring scowls of their group, Sakura daringly stood up on her tiptoes and kissed an unexpecting Sasuke chastely on the cheek, before turning to return to the campsite. At his reddening expression and clearing of his throat, Sakura smiled innocently, those hands coming to rest behind her back as she leaned forward and tilted her head, a habit leftover from girlish youth. And maybe she was interpreting things, but the Susanoo didn’t disappear from above her head until they were well away from the deadly trees, and to Sakura, it was all she needed in return to know that Sasuke was expressing his own form of love back. 

.

.

.

In the dead of night, when the detainees had all passed into sleep, Sasuke kept his eyes trained on them, making sure that their heartbeats and cadence of breath signified genuine sleep. To his surprise, it seemed no one had any indication or plans to run. Not that he cared in particular, but it still didn’t ease his uncertainty. He wondered what Sakura had offered them to get them to go along with their sentencing. Regardless of their snoring and dream-filled twitching—which could easily alert prey to their presence; he didn’t know how they could even sleep knowing where they were—Sasuke didn’t trust them. Despite Sakura’s assurances, Sasuke still watched them as if he were the predator of their fears. Maybe that’s why they slept so soundly, knowing Sasuke was there to keep watch over them. Maybe it gave them some sort of security knowing that the man who protected the ambitions of their target-turned-jailer was there to ensure everything went according to the kunoichi’s design. Maybe, subconsciously, they knew Sakura cared about what happened to them at the very least, and as a result Sasuke was forced to as well. Perhaps it was the same factor that made them all choose to return to Konoha with her. 

From a non-poisonous, outstretched branch, Sasuke watched two interactions initiated by Sakura on the ground below him. First, and expected, Sakura sought out Rugo, offering him the yellow flowers, explaining in whispers how to get the most out of the medicinal properties it offered. Saskue narrowed his eyes at the man, whom Sasuke still didn’t quite care for, as Sakura crouched before him and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. He couldn’t hear her or read her lips with his Sharingan because her back was turned to him, but Sasuke saw that Rugo only nodded in response to everything she said and asked and kept his respectable distance. Smart choice on his part with Sasuke present. 

Her second stop in the crowd below, however, had Sasuke leaning forward, his right eye glowing red as he made out the conversation below.

“Toka,” Sakura was saying, cross-armed as she stared down at the man who was reclined against a tree toward the back of the crowd. Sasuke recalled the stranger’s identity when she said his name, recalling the visions of the man clinging to the girl Sasuke had stolen the vision from. “We need to discuss something.”

“I don’t plan on discussing anything with you,” he sneered back at her, rolling his head back to the side to pretend to sleep against the tree roots. 

“Tabi is pregnant,” Sakura deadpanned, and Sasuke could tell by her posture that she had adopted the professional voice of the physician. Toka’s eyes shot open with disbelief and his mouth went slack. Even Sasuke’s stomach dropped a bit at the abrasive announcement, suddenly feeling more empathy about the situation considering the context of his and Sakura’s conversation last night. No man would want to learn of his partner’s pregnancy right before facing a prison sentence. 

When Toka recovered from the shock, he glanced nervously around at the others to see if anyone might have heard them. Sasuke could barely discern the furious whisper on Toka’s lips in response: “Why the fuck would you say that out loud in front of these people? You don’t understand the gravity of what you could have just done.”

“Does this mean you care about them, then? About Tabi and the baby?” she probed, unphased by his alarm. Sasuke wondered if Sakura did exactly what had triggered him just to assess his reaction. 

“Why does it matter to you?” he asked angrily in a murmur, still trying to keep his words private between them. 

Sakura turned her head in Sasuke’s direction unconsciously, and Sasuke’s eyes met hers, and she instantly looked away having realized what she’d done. And Sasuke frowned, because suddenly the conversation between his pink-haired teammate and the man sitting before her took on a new and uncomfortable context. Sasuke suddenly felt as if this were a personal topic for Sakura and she was asking from experience. As if she was hoping Toka would say yes, that he didcare. That he would do anything to go back to the mother of his child and make their family whole. To stop his foolish conquests and ambitions and be the man they needed him to be. Sasuke felt himself go rigid as he waited for Sakura’s response.

“Because Tabi told me you were different. I’m hoping that’s true.”

“I would only bring them heartbreak and pain. They’re better off without me.” Sasuke winced as the words that could have been his own landed directly as a blow to his chest. 

And then Sasuke knew. He knew Toka was not the only intended recipient for her next words. “They’ll be in more pain to know you had a choice and your choice wasn’t them. All because you thought you knew best. Because you thought you didn’t deserve them.” It may have been Toka’s first time hearing such words, but for Sasuke, it was another echoing reminder. 

He only stared at Sakura’s feet, and so she said, “I thought it might change your decision to come to Konoha. I’ve said that I won’t stop anyone from running if they want to risk the forest. Someone with a family waiting for them on the other side might just be brave enough to make it.” There was no response as she walked away from him, surveying the group one last time before making her way to the teammate she knew observed her every step from above. 

And when she came to settle in the treetop beside him, Sasuke couldn’t meet her eye. For the longest minute of his life, he held his breath as her gaze settled on to him. Slowly and with fearful anticipation, Sasuke glanced at her to find that Sakura had merely propped her back against the trunk where the branch met the tree and had closed her eyes to sleep. Sasuke wanted to reach for her, tug her against his chest as he had last night in a different environment of darkness. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry. To tell her that she was his choice because he was hers. But a family…it couldn’t be his choice right now. Not when he knew what was coming for them. Sasuke’s choice would always have to be his mission, but he prayed to whatever sentient being looked down on them, that he would find the Otsusuki race, eradicate them quickly, and get back to his life with his wife. 

Sasuke stared openly at her as she slept and he knew her decision to do so was to not force an uncomfortable conversation on him in the moment. Not after the trauma of the day. Not after witnessing a man attempt suicide and the conversation that followed, or from overhearing her discussion about families and choices with Toka. The day had been full of discomfort, and Sakura understood the Uchiha enough to know that now was not the time to have another. It was an indescribable mercy. And why she made a damn good doctor and rising therapist. 

And with this realization, Sasuke wondered when, in Sakura’s eyes, he had become like a patient with his own mental health needs as well. When did she start seeing him as someone who needed to heal instead of someone she needed to heal from? 

And Sasuke thought back to pools of acid and black flames that never stopped burning. And he thought of Sakura, the star in the sky of his darkness who still eternally burned for him despite everything. And Sasuke wondered when exactly he had started to answer that burn with a fire of his own. Even if he were galaxies away, he would burn eternally for her, like the black flames of Amaterasu. 

[wishesunderthestars]

Eunoia // Ch. 24

eunoia (noun): beautiful thinking, the possession of a well-balanced mind, which exhibits goodwill and kindness

Pairings: Hybrid! BTS x reader

Summary: You are a world famous director and you have dedicated your life to your job.You have everything you could ever dream of; wealth, recognision, talent, your friends and family. But loneliness isn’t cured by success. So what happens when you somehow rescue seven hybrids? Can they fill the void?

Genre: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut

Word Count: 8.2k+

Warnings: past abuse, past sexual abuse, cursing, past violence, mentions of blood, panic attacks

Masterlist

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23

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There was a deep lull after dinner, surrounded by fairylights on a late summer night with your bellies full of delicious food. You and Seokjin had cooked Michelin-level lasagna and for dessert the best custard tarts you had ever tasted. Seokjin truly was extraordinarily talented at cooking and baking. He could have been one of the best chefs in the world. The only obstacle was his DNA. There were no famous hybrid chefs, probably there were no hybrid chefs at all. For most people it was near impossible to look past the animal ears and tails.

“What are you thinking about?” Seokjin asked. You were the only ones left at the circular bench around the table. You were laying with your back against his side and your head on his shoulder.

“Nothing. Everything,” you said.

You couldn’t see his smile but you imagined it lighting up his face. Seokjin was always beautiful, he was one of the most beautiful people you had ever met. But when he was smiling, he was magical.

“You can never turn it off, can you?” he asked, bumping his hand with yours. You didn’t hesitate to take hold of it and intertwine your fingers. 

You looked up at the stars. Away from the heart of the city, they were bright and endless. “I don’t think that’s possible. It’s part of my charm.”

That pulled a laugh out of him and you reveled in it, in the ordinary sanctity of the moment. You took in the view of the garden and hybrids scattered around.

Namjoon and Hoseok were sitting by the pool, their feet dipped in the water, while Hoseok spoke excitedly about something moving his hands around, his tail wagging behind him. Namjoon listened to him like he didn’t want to miss a word falling from his lips. Jimin was curled around Yoongi on the grass, his eyes were closed and you could tell that he was purring without having to hear him. Yoongi was gazing at the stars peacefully, his arms at his sides. Further away, Jungkook and Taehyung were flipping through Jungkook’s latest sketchbook. Taehyung would stop him from turning the page sometimes to run his fingers over a sketch.

Taehyung was still reserved but he was slowly but steadily bonding with the other hybrids. Jungkook had happily told you that they had spent the afternoon painting together and proudly showed off their masterpiece, an artistic mess of colorful lines and funny faces that wouldn’t have looked out of place at a modern art gallery. You had said you were going to hang it up in the gallery unless Taehyung—whose cheeks had turned red for the first time—wanted to keep it. Timidly and in the best english he could master, he asked if he could take it to his room. While the lasagna was in the oven, you and Jungkook put it up on the wall above his bed.

“Summer is ending and I barely felt it,” you said. When you were younger you used to spend summer days swimming and chase the nights until you found the sun with your friends. This year you had only seen the sea from afar or through the window of a plane. “I miss the sea. I miss swimming in water that isn’t in a pool. We should have gone on a trip somewhere with a beach and not as many people as Los Angeles.”

“We can do that next year or whenever your next break is. We can find a place that will be warm enough to swim, can’t we?”

“I’m sure we can.” You had no idea when your next break was. Autumn and winter were full with filming, premieres and press tours. The small breaks in-between were for one or two days and you would usually spend them going over emails and talking with executives. But you would make this happen. “I haven’t been on a leisure trip in a while. It would be fun. We could rent a place by the beach, we could go swimming whenever we wanted, spend the day there. I would drag you into the sea because you would be too afraid to go in.”

“I wouldn’t!” Seokjin protested.

You pushed back against him to tease him. “You totally would. You were terrified to get into the pool where you can clearly see the bottom and there are no currents to be afraid of.”

“I didn’t know how to swim then! And I wasn’t terrified, I was a little scared which is normal, that’s all,” he defended himself.

“A little scared isn’t what I would describe it as.”

“I wasn’t terrified! I wouldn’t have got in the pool if I was!”

You laughed at how defensive he was. It was funny to rile him up, if only just to hear how quickly he could speak. You were too focused on him that you didn’t notice that Jungkook and Taehyung had got up until they had almost reached you. Taehyung was hurrying after Jungkook, struggling to keep up with his fast strides.

The bunny called your name excitedly before they stopped in front of you. “Taehyung wants to go to the lake. Can we please go before your break ends? You said we can go swimming in the summer.”

You had been planning to go to the lake but something always came up. It was only around thirty minutes from your house but you hadn’t been there since early spring.

“There is the trip you wanted,” Seokjin said.

Sometimes, it was hard to believe everything was a coincidence.

“Well, it isn’t the sea. But you can prove to me that I won’t have to drag you into the water there.” At his indignant expression, you turned to the two hybrids. “Of course we can go. There aren’t many days of my break left though. We can go tomorrow if you want, stay there until nightfall.”

Jungkook smiled widely and clapped his hands. You caught the twitch of Taehyung’s lips although his head was bent. “Yes! Thank you! I have never gone swimming in a lake. It will be amazing.”

His excitement was contagious, it got your mind brimming with ideas on how to make tomorrow special. “You should ask the others first. See if everyone agrees about tomorrow.”

“They do,” Jungkook said.

You chuckled. “Okay, ask them just to be sure.”

“You could invite John too,” he added quietly. “And Alice. We haven’t seen her these days and Taehyung hasn’t met her yet.”

You weren’t surprised that John was being missed, he was such an important part of your life and as an extent he was an important part of your family’s life as well. Like you, he was on a well-deserved break and it was almost two weeks since the last time you had seen him and the messages you often exchanged didn’t make you miss him any less.

However, you were worried about overwhelming Taehyung. He had met John back in Seoul but those were memories you didn’t want him revisiting and although little Alice was a charmer she hadn’t developed a filter yet. She was a curious child and you wouldn’t be able to answer all of the questions she was bound to have. Not honestly, at least.

“Inviting Alice isn’t a bad idea,” Seokjin said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “If Taehyung is okay with it, of course.”

Jungkook turned to Taehyung then and proceeded to try to explain to him with simple english and a few hand gestures who Alice was. He didn’t fail to mention that Alice was very cute and gesture how tall—or short in her case—she was. Taehyung seemed thoroughly confused in a way that had you wanting to squeeze his cheeks.

“Hobi,” you called. “We need your help!”

Hoseok’s fox ears twitched. He shot up, ran barefoot across the garden and tackled Jungkook, who was delighted to be in Hoseok’s arms. Both of them laughed wildly, bumping their foreheads together.

“What can I help you with?” he asked, his mouth forming a heart.

“We are planning–” you started but were swiftly interrupted by Jungkook.

“We’re going to the lake tomorrow!”

Hoseok’s face lit up. “Are we? I’ve never been to the lake! Are we really going?”

“If everyone agrees,” you conceded.

It had slipped your mind that Hoseok and Yoongi hadn’t been there on your last trip. It had been only a few weeks after adopting Seokjin as a means to put a pause on your workaholic tendancies. It wasn’t likely that they had ever visited it. Other than Namjoon, no one was very keen on treading the treacherous ground that led to the lake on their own. The trip was a chance for the hybrids to get out of the house and experience something they didn’t get to do often.

Seeing John and Alice was an added bonus. Hoseok lit up like the sun when you told him to ask Taehyung if he was comfortable with them joining you. Taehyung looked at you, his gaze heavy with thousands of things he didn’t say. He averted his eyes too soon as if he caught himself doing something improper.

“He said if that’s what you want,” Hoseok translated.

You cursed the language barrier. There were thousands of things you wanted to say too, you could build mountains with them and watch them grow taller and taller until they crumbled. There was no point in them, not when he couldn’t understand. It wasn’t the same hearing it from someone else.

“It isn’t about what I want. It is about what he wants,” you said. Hoseok translated again and Taehyung looked confused like there was something he couldn’t understand.

“He doesn’t mind,” Hoseok said in the end.

Even if he did, you doubted he would tell you. There wasn’t anything more you could do.

Jungkook looked at you expectantly, his eyes wide and sparkling. You gave in, “Alright, go tell Namjoon and Yoongi and make sure they agree. I will text John to see if they can make it.”

He jumped up and down—a reaction that could be due to his bunny genetics and was way too cute for you to handle—before running off to tell them. By the way they were looking at you and their superior hearing, they had already heard most of your conversation.

 You leaned back against Seokjin again as Hoseok took Taehyung by the hand and followed Jungkook, gesturing at the direction of the lake as he spoke.

“Looks like we’re going to the lake tomorrow,” you said, typing a message to John. “You’ll have to brave the forest again.”

"Sadly, there isn't. Unless you can fly."

He groaned purely for show. “Not again! What have a done to deserve this? These feet weren’t made for dirt and roots. Isn't there a way to get to the lake without walking through the forest?"

A new message appeared on your screen. John was as diligent at texting as he was in every other aspect of his life and he disapproved of your tendency to see the messages but leave them unanswered until later.

“They don’t have anything planned for tomorrow and Alice is apparently jumping all over the house right now, singing that she will go to the lake tomorrow to see all her new friends.”

“She is adorable,” Seokjin cooed. “I want to squeeze her.”

“You can do that tomorrow. She likes the attention.” You straightened and grabbed his arm, wrapping it around your waist before sinking back. “Better.”

Not many preparations were needed for a trip to the lake. After all, it was only a relatively short walk from your house. If you needed anything, you could send Namjoon who could make it back in half the time compared to the rest of you. That of course didn’t stop Seokjin from waking up before the sun had risen to make an array of snacks and baked goods to take with you.

You found him in the kitchen, wearing his cute pink apron streaked with flour. He was determined to make the best cheesecake any of you had ever tasted because you had mentioned it was Alice’s favorite. There was no chance you could changed his mind so you joined him. You worked together in the chef’s kitchen for about thirty minutes before Jungkook and Jimin arrived set on helping you.

The cute baskets with the blue and white ribbons you had brought back from Virginia were filled with sandwiches, pies, croissants, cupcakes and the much-anticipated cheesecake. The delicious aroma lured the rest of the hybrids to the kitchen. Hoseok batted his eyelashes at Seokjin who fed him a cupcake while a few more disappeared mysteriously.

Helen and her team would be arriving soon to do a deep cleaning of the bedrooms and the main rooms. The Castle hadn’t had a good cleaning since you arrived from Seoul. At first, you were worried about raising any questions about Taehyung’s presence and after his papers were ready, you were worried about him feeling uncomfortable with new people in the house. Your trip to the lake was the perfect chance for the Castle to get a good day of cleaning. You had also asked the company that made the piano currently residing in Jacob’s studio to send some people to move it to the living room and they would be coming later in the day.

The doorbell rang for the first time this morning. John had texted you that they were on their way so you knew who it was without looking through the peephole. Alice trapped you in a tight hug and you picked her up, turning around in circles to hear her laugh.

“Put me down! Put me down,” she said, her breaths short and mirthful.

“Should I? Are you sure?” you asked, bumping your noses together.

Alice scrunched her nose, nodding. “I need to say hello to my friends. I said hello to you.”

You chuckled and put her down. “You’re right. Go say hello to them, they’re waiting to see you.”

Jimin and Hoseok had followed you into the living room and they were the first ones to be attacked by Alice’s super tight hugs. She might be tiny but her hugs were inescapable.

“She likes them a lot,” John said. A pink sparkling backpack, a stuffed mermaid hanging from one zipper, was slung over his shoulder.

“Alice likes everyone a lot.”

Hoseok had picked her up to take her to the kitchen and Alice placed a large kiss on his cheek to thank him.

“She has good instincts about people. She disliked that Walker guy the moment she met him.” Josh Walker was a producer you had worked with twice in the past and vowed to never work with again. A huge gossip in the worst way possible and a master at avoiding responsibilities. “And she didn’t–” He cut the sentence in the middle.

“She didn’t like Jacob either,” you finished for him. Alice was a polite kid but it was obvious when she disliked someone. She hugged you, held your hand and sat on your lap and she only spoke to Jacob when it was necessary. And it wasn’t just you, it was the same with Taylor and Zayn, who she both loved very much. Only Jacob didn’t get the same treatment. “You can say it. I’m over him, you know.”

John’s smile said more than any words could. “I believe you are.”

You believed you were too. You had been for a long time. He was a part of your past and you were done living in it. Sometimes you forgot about him now when once his name was was written all over the Castle. The memories were faded, more radiant ones taking their place.

“I think out of everyone she was the happiest when she learnt we broke up,” you said. “She was so pleased she’d never have to play nice with him again.”

At the time, although it had seemed funny to you, it had also hurt a little. In the end, it was for the best.

“She was trying to play matchmaker and get you together with her favorite teacher. It was one obstacle out of the way.”

You laughed remembering how she would show you pictures of him, telling you he was very handsome and very clever and he liked reading books just like you. One day you had been with John when he went to get her from school and Alice had dragged you inside to meet a very much awestruck teacher.

“At least she has forgotten about that now,” you said.

John sent you an amused look. “Wait until she gets back to school and she remembers how dreamy her teacher is and that you are still single.”

“Let’s go find your little troublemaker before the boys kidnap her,” you said, eager to end the conversation. John was gracious enough to grant you that.

In the kitchen, Alice had spotted Yoongi and climbed on the chair next to him. She had developed a soft spot for the panther hybrid since her last visit. On his part, Yoongi didn’t know what to do with a small human and how to entertain her. To his credit, he was doing just fine.

Hoseok was doing silly dance moves to make her laugh and Jimin was sitting on Yoongi’s other side dragging his nails down the panther’s back. Yoongi didn’t react. Jungkook and Seokjin were tying the ribbons on the baskets into bows and Namjoon was attempting to do the same unsuccessfully.

The only one missing was Taehyung.

“Okay, we’re almost ready to go,” you said, calling everyone’s attention. “Can someone go get Taehyung?”

“I’ll go. He must be awake by now.” Hoseok offered and left to fetch him.

Alice’s large eyes turned to you. “Is Taehyung the tiger hybrid daddy told me about? He said to be extra polite to him. Is it true that he doesn’t speak english?”

“He understands the basics, Hobi helps with the rest. He translates what we say to him so we can all understand each other.”

She nodded like it was the most important thing she had heard today. “But why don’t you learn korean? Won’t it be easier to talk to him then?”

You stared at the six-year-old for a long moment, speechless. “That would make things easier, wouldn’t it? Maybe we should try.”

Alice smiled widely, showing one missing tooth and one half-grown. “You should. Mommy says understanding others is important.”

“She is right,” John said, patting her head. “You should listen to others and understand them.”

“Mommy is always right,” Alice emphasized. “More often than daddy.”

John sighed in a ‘I’ve-listened-to-that-many-times-and-I-am-not-going-to-argue’ way. “Thanks, monkey. I appreciate it.”

Alice giggled before her attention swiftly shifted, like children’s attention tended to do, to Yoongi’s tail and the way it moved. Luckily she didn’t try to pet it and didn’t ask either, remembering how John had told her it was rude last time. She restricted herself to asking questions like if he could move it at will, whether it hurt if he accidentally sat on it and more. Yoongi answered willingly, if a little flustered at the attention.

John weighted the baskets in his hand. They were full to the brim with delicious food and if you had let Seokjin get his way, there would be more. Enough to feed half the city.

The doorbell rang again, signaling that Helen and her team were here. John followed you to the living room to greet her and catch up. It was strangely like they were your parents when they talked about you. They acted like you weren’t standing right there and listening to everything.

Since you were little more than a ghost in this conversation, when Hoseok and Taehyung climbed up the stairs, you went with them back to the kitchen. Alice had gotten her hands on a vanilla muffin and her mouth, nose and cheeks were smeared with blue icing.

You put your hand on your waist and regarded her. “You can get anything with your puppy eyes, can’t you?” Alice gave you an innocent smile, her lips painted blue. “Who fell for it first?” She pointed at Yoongi and your stern facade cracked. Apparently it wasn’t only Alice who had a soft spot.

“It’s just a cupcake,” Yoongi said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“It is just a cupcake but it will fill her stomach with sugar and then  she won’t eat the food Jin worked so hard on,” you said, grabbing a napkin.

Alice licked her lips. It didn’t make them look any less blue. “Jin worked hard on the cupcakes too. They are super good. So good I could eat ten of them.”

“Thank you,” Jin said, his cheeks bunching up in an adorable smile. “But eating ten of them will make your stomach hurt.”

Alice opened her mouth to speak while you wiped the icing from her face before her eyes landed on the hybrid she hadn’t met. “Is that Taehyung?”

“Yes, this Taehyung,” you said, still trying to clean her face as best as you could. “And right now you look like the Cookie Monster.” Alice giggled like fairy bells.

Taehyung was looking at Alice in wonder.

“Taehyung, this is Alice. She is John’s daughter,” you said, getting up to throw the now blue napkin away. Alice’s face was as clean as it could get without washing it with water.

Hoseok didn’t translate, it was simple enough english for Taehyung. “Hi,” he said, waving at her shyly. You resisted the urge to coo at him.

Alice waved back enthusiastically. “Hello! You are very pretty.”

Taehyung’s lips parted in surprise. “Thank you,” he said shakily.

Helen and John walked in then, a broom in Helen’s hand. For her, it was an accessory. It didn’t mean she would start cleaning by sweeping the floors.

“Goodmorning to everyone,” she said in greeting. Her smile had a motherly quality to it that made people want to be on their best behavior around her. “I see you’re all ready for today. And someone has already dived into the food.”

John eyed his daughter and the pink and white dotted cupcake liner left on the table. “What did we say about sweets in the morning?”

She smiled sheepishly. “Morning is for fruits, we eat sweets after lunch,” she recited.

“What is that then?”

She put her elbows on the table and cupped her face with her hands. “It is a special day today. On special days we don’t have to follow that rule. We ate cake in the morning of your birthday.”

“You’re too clever for your own good,” John said then looked at you. “She’s starting to sound like you, finding loopholes.”

Alice giggled, pleased at that.

“I don’t do that,” you protested.

“Oh yes, you do. And you know that you do it,” Helen said, pointing at you with the broom. “You can get out of anything by talking. I remember Amelia telling me that those poor professors of yours at University had no idea what to do with you. You used to send them those emails when you were absent, right?”

You glued your lips together, searching for a way to get out of this. “I was practicing diplomacy.”

“Is that what we call that now?” John asked, amused.

“Forget it,” you said. “Let’s go, let’s go. We have a lot of walking to do and it’s best to be out before the heat spikes.”

It was a beautiful day, the kind of Californian weather you would see on postcards. The sky was clear except a couple of fluffy white clouds gliding across. The perfect day for a small adventure. You had worn your bikini underneath your clothes, planning to go in for a quick dip in the lake and you had persuaded Seokjin, Jungkook and Hoseok to put on swimming trunks. Alice was also wearing her swimsuit, the wide neck of her shirt didn’t cover the hot pink strings.

In your backpack, you had packed a first-aid kit, two bottles of sunscreen, a pen and a notebook—just in case you got inspiration—, a towel and anything else you thought you might need. You had written down a list last night on your phone and you hoped you hadn’t forgotten anything.

Your way down to the lake was filled with laughter as you stepped over protruding roots and each of you tripped at least once. Excluding Namjoon, who in his many walks had memorized each stone and root. John was carrying both a basket and the small portable fridge stocked with water bottles, fresh orange juice and lemonade, coca cola bottles and a few cans of beer. Jungkook, Namjoon and Yoongi were holding the other three baskets.

The moment you emerged from the trees, Alice sprinted to the lake and dipped her hands in. “It isn’t cold!” she shouted. “Can we go swimming?”

“Why don’t we rest for a bit first?” you asked. Swimming would be a great relief from the summer heat but your legs were tired from walking and your throat dry.

Namjoon stood next to you and placed a hand on your back. It sent a pleasant tingle up your spine. Wordlessly, he handed you his water bottle and you gulped down half of its contents.

You and Jimin laid down the two large checkered blankets, one in red and white and one in blue and white. On top of them, you placed the baskets to stop any sudden gusts of wind blowing them away. It was too early to unpack the food. You had finished breakfast not an hour ago and you weren’t hungry yet.

Alice bounced over to the fridge and rummaged through it for a drink. Victorious, she held up a bottle of coke like a trophy.

In the hour you hadn’t checked your phone, a line of messages had filled the screen of your phone. You had pulled it out to look at the time. Nine thirty. Seven emails from work and four texts, two from the producer of the Raven Cycle and two more from the showrunner. A reminder that soon, this would be over and you would go back to leaving as the sun rose and returning when it had long left the horizon.

But it wasn’t over yet. This was a day of relaxation and you wouldn’t let yourself ruin it. You put your phone on silent and shoved it deep inside your backpack.

Hoseok shouted your name before he was crushing on you, sending you down on the blanket. His laughter filled the air as Alice also jumped on you. She was as light as a feather but you both groaned when she landed on you.

“I caught you,” Alice proclaimed. “I win!”

You were roped into playing hide and seek with the two of them, Jimin and Jungkook. Taehyung sat on the edge of the blanket watching you. He looked like a painting by a long dead artist, whose name was shadowed by his art. Someone who dreamed of beauty but lived in pain.

In a truly unpredictable turn of events, Alice got Yoongi to join you. He was quick, much quicker than you. To run away from him, in a childish fit of desperation, you took off your shirt and your shorts in record speed and dove into the lake. Only a few steps from the shore, it was deep enough for you to disappear in the water. The shouts and the laughter got muffled. Water took over your senses, they were dull under the surface but the world was so vibrant.

You emerged and swallowed mouthfuls of air. You must have stayed under longer than you’d thought because your lungs ached for it.

When she saw you, Alice cheered. “I’m going in,” she told her father and John didn’t oppose her. He helped her take off her clothes and she ran to you, water splashing everywhere. You swam to the shallow part and she fell right into your arms. Over her head, your eyes locked with John’s. He trusted you with her.

 You goaded Seokjin into getting in the water too, reminding him what he said to you last night. It took a few tries but soon he was in the water with you, Alice clinging to his waist like a koala. You didn’t stray far from the place that your feet could touch the ground just in case. You were a great swimmer, good enough to act as a lifeguard, but you took care so it wouldn’t come to that.

After a lot of playing around, throwing water at each other and seeing who could swim the fastest—Alice won each time, complaining that you were letting her win—you climbed up the rocks and rested back on your elbows. Your skin and hair were dripping water, the sun slowly drying you. You watched Jungkook and Seokjin chasing each other as Alice and Hoseok acted as what looked like referees. For what, you weren’t sure.

This would be one of the first scenes of a movie. Bright, beautiful and full of life. Summer music playing in the background, a soft but happy song. You could see the montage in your mind, the way they would cut and stitch together the scenes. The close-ups and the movement of the camera.

Or it could be the Supposed Victory, just before the disaster. Before everything went wrong and the world crumbled. A moment of unrestrained joy when the protagonist believed everything would work out.

Or it could be the ending. It didn’t feel like one.

Alice was sitting next to Taehyung the next time you looked for her. His mouth wrapped clumsily around english words you couldn’t read as he pointed to her hair. Alice touched her head before a bright smile took over her face. She unclipped one of her rainbow butterfly clips and offered it to him. He held it reverently like it was a small miracle, unsure what to do with it. Alice took it again and clipped back the strands of hair that were falling in his face. 

She was a force of nature, sweeping up everyone in her path. You longed for the sweet innocence and her pure heart. She was everything that was good in this world.

You wondered who you would have become if you had parents like John. Parents that would always be there for you, do everything for you, give you everything they could. How different would you be? Would you have the same drive? The same unrelenting ambition? If your parents had cared, would you be there, in that moment?

No, probably not. You decided you didn’t want that then. You had found your own family. You weren’t connected by blood but by choice. They had been there when you needed them in all the ways your biological family failed to be. You didn’t want to be any other version of yourself but this. The one who had them, who loved them, the one who was loved by them.

Seokjin, wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, wet hair falling in his eyes, called for you to climb down to eat. The food was piled on the blankets and Jungkook was already munching on a piece of pie. Dutifully, you descended, pinching Seokjin’s cheek passing by. He complained but it was drowned by the delighted noises as the food was revealed.

“Wait, wait,” you said, getting up not a full minute after you had flopped down on the blanket. “I want to take a photo before the food disappears.”

“Quickly,” Jungkook begged, eying a sandwich lovingly.

“For you, as quickly as I can.”

That seemed to make him happy. You reached into your backpack for your professional camera, it was in a padded case that had cost you as much as a regular camera would. In University, you had taken a few classes of photography as a part of your degree. It was useful for your profession and for your social media presence. Most of all, it was good for memory keeping.

You rushed to a spot a few meters away from the blankets and lowered yourself to find the best angle. “Smile!” you called.

You captured around five photos and looked through them. Taehyung was smiling, tentatively at first, just a tiny tilt of the lips and wider in the last ones, following the others’ example.

The photos were beautiful. As magical as a fleeting moment of happiness you would never forget. You were going to frame them.

“Give me the camera,” John said, getting up.

You gazed at him suspiciously. “What are you going to do with it?”

“Take a photo. What else would I do?” he joked. “Go sit with them. Get in the frame."

You giggled, sitting down at the blanket. Alice didn't waste any time and climbed into your lap. You wrapped your arms around her waist and she leaned back into you. On your side, Hoseok threw an arm over your shoulder and smiled blindingly.

John handed you back the camera and everyone gathered around to peek at the photos. Alice pointed to every photo and said it was her favorite until she concluded that her favorite was the one that you were kissing her cheek because you were in it and it was cute.

"I see how it is. The photos she is in are the ones I'm not in," John said.

"I have so many photos with you," Alice shot back, opening her arms as if to show how many they were. "You can't have it all."

Not even John could stop himself from dissolving in laughter. Alice was an expert at throwing your words back at you.

When everyone was satisfied with the photos—you put your camera by your side, easy to reach in case you wanted to take more photos—lunch began. Swimming created a weightless hunger, a kind you hadn't felt in any other circumstances. Food tasted ten times better after you had been swimming. Seokjin's food was already delicious so it tasted like magic, the way you imagined all that mouth-watering food from movies or books would taste.

You were filled to the brim yet when the desserts were out, you couldn't stop yourself from accepting the piece of cheesecake Seokjin thrust in your direction. The cream was soft and light and the homemade blackberry jam elevated the taste.

Alice was attacking a bowl of fresh strawberries and dipping them in chocolate. The chocolate dripped, staining her mouth and hands but she didn’t care.

“Are they good?” you asked.

She nodded enthusiastically, giving you a big smile that showed off her chocolate teeth. She lifted the bowl towards you.

“That’s too much sugar for one day,” John said but didn’t say anything else to stop her.

Jimin was laying his head on your shoulder, drowsy after a big meal. You picked up a strawberry from the bowl Alice was holding up for you and dipped it in chocolate. Acting thoughtlessly, instead of bringing it to your mouth, you nudged it against Jimin’s lips, coating them with chocolate. His mouth parted easily, letting you feed him. A blush tinted his cheeks as he bit down.

His pink lips looked sinful covered in chocolate. His tongue darted out to lick them clean. You couldn’t take your eyes off him.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “Can I… Do you want one?”

Your heart was beating louder than it should. Alice had turned her attention back to Yoongi. When your eyes locked, you couldn’t read them. You never could.

You turned back to Jimin, his eyes mirroring the sky. “They do look delicious.”

Jimin picked up a strawberry and—a little clumsily—fed it to you. Your lips nearly touched his fingers, only a breath away. It was the best strawberry you had ever tasted. Nothing could ever compare to it.

“I want a strawberry too,” Jungkook said, timid in a way he wasn’t often anymore. Like he wasn’t sure you would indulge him.

“Come here then, bunny.” As soon as you finished, Jungkook crawled across the blanket to sit on your other side. He opened his mouth, waiting. Your brain was a train wreck, going off the rails, jumping off bridges.

You lifted a strawberry to his lips the way you had done with Jimin. He munched on it slowly, his eyes not leaving yours as if he were hypnotized.

You should snap out of it.

“You’re so messy,” you joked to lighten the atmosphere between the three of you. “How did that chocolate get on your cheek?”

Jungkook stammered and you grabbed a paper towel laughing. Everyone soon followed and Alice managed to get a photo of Jungkook with your camera before you could clean his face. It had to be enough.

"I'm going for a walk," you announced a while later, feeling bloated. "I need to move. I feel like I ate a small town.”

“Where are you going?” Hoseok asked. He was stretched on the grass, his head laying in Seokjin’s lap. Seokjin’s fingers were tangled in his hair.

You shrugged. You hadn’t thought of where to go exactly, only that you had to get up or you would fall asleep with a heavy stomach. “Just a walk around here. There are some parts of these shores I haven’t seen in a while.”

“Don’t be too long,” Jimin said.

“If you’re gone for more than thirty minutes, I will send a search party,” John remarked. He was braiding Alice’s hair back because she had been whining that it was getting in her face. Meanwhile, she was drawing with Taehyung in his new notebook. He didn’t look like a doll then but a little confused, a little fond. A little happy, if you dared to hope.

You pocketed your phone and made a note to yourself to check the time. You wouldn’t put it past John to actually send a search party after you.

“I’ll go too,” a voice spoke up, surprising you. Yoongi rose to his feet smoothly like a predator, his tail curving behind him. Everyone was staring at him but he pretended he didn’t notice.

You couldn’t tell him no. You didn’t want to tell him no. Going on a walk alone with him didn’t spark the same anxiety it would have a month or so ago. You were a little nervous but the flutter in your stomach wasn’t unpleasant. He had changed and maybe you had too.

“Okay, then, let’s go,” you said, inclining your head towards the forest. “We will be back soon.”

Yoongi followed you silently into the labyrinth of trees. There must be something he wanted to talk to you about. You didn’t believe he had joined you simply because he wanted to go on a walk. Yoongi was more solitary than any of the hybrids and although you were getting along better now, you weren’t his first choice of company.

Of course, your mind jumped to the worst possibilities. He had noticed what was happening between you, Namjoon and Seokjin and he was going to confront you about it. Growl and snarl at you the way he had done so often in the past. And what would you do then? He wasn’t going to harm you, you were sure of that. He wasn’t. But his words sneaked underneath your skin so easily, burrowed deep inside you and refused to budge.

It didn’t have to be something bad, you reminded yourself. It could be something else but you couldn’t think of anything.

He would find out about the three of you either way, regardless of how long you put it off. You were a family, you thought of them as your family even if Yoongi didn’t—you had a feeling the rest of them did. It was important for you to be honest with them. If he exploded, if he sneered and accused you of manipulating them, it would hurt too much. You had grown too comfortable with this new Yoongi and it would shatter a piece of you to go back. But you would try. You would get over it. You would have a few new cracks but that’s how life was, you got a little more broken as time passed.

“What are you thinking?” Yoongi disturbed the silence between you.

“Nothing interesting,” you said, ducking underneath a low hanging branch. The summer heat was muted in the shade of the forest. In there, you could forget that you were in California.

Yoongi’s footsteps echoed yours on the drying soil. “You are making that face you make when you are troubled.” Sometimes, you forgot how observant he was. He may not speak much but he was paying attention.

"It's just…" You weren't sure how honest you should be with him. "It's everything. There's too much going on and I've been too much in my head about it."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk? Right now?" you asked. The walk was supposed to help you clear your head and contemplate the situation you found yourself in. Now, one of the main characters starring in your worst case scenarios was offering to listen to you. “Are you sure you want to listen to me rant?”

You saw Yoongi shrug from the corner of your eye. “Are you going to?”

“Don’t feel like ranting today.” You looked up at the mosaic of the sky through the branches. “It’s too good of a day for that. My problems will be right where I left them when we get back home. I should let them go for a day.”

Yoongi hummed. “You should but you don’t look like you’ve let them go. They are still there.”

“I’m trying. It isn’t my fault they won’t go away. It’s too busy in here,” you tapped the side of your head with a finger, “and it’s a headline. It’s hard to look past it.” You had never been good at letting go of things easily. Fears, relationships, people. Your therapist would tell you to find the root of that and unravel it. You hadn’t touched it yet.

“It’s your head,” Yoongi said. “You should be the one to decide what are headlines and what is the fine print. Hell, throw away pages if you don’t want them there. Or hide them away to look at some other time.”

Your fingers grazed the rough bark of a tree. That wasn’t how you looked at it. Your brain threw things at you and you had to deal with them. Most of the time, when it came to matters like this, you weren’t the one controlling it.

“I hadn’t thought of it like that,” you admitted. “I guess I could make a new headline. A better one. Something like ‘Family trip to the lake. Everyone is required to have fun.’ How does that sound?”

A smile tugged at his lips. “It doesn’t sound too bad. It could be worse.”

The trees thinned as you got closer to your destination. This part of the shoreline wasn’t open and spacious the way the place you had picked for your picnic was. Trees dotted the ground and the the water was lower than the ground. A deck that had fallen in disrepair stood alone at the edge.

A path half overrun by vegetation led up to a house that didn’t fare much better. Vines were growing up its wooden walls and a large tree was leaning precariously on its side. It must have been abandoned for years, ten or more if you had to guess. Mold, stale and earthy, permeated the air. Two of the windows were broken. The one remaining curtain was moth eaten.

You liked to imagine its history and the reason it was abandoned. A family lived there for generations but when the times got faster and industrial, they left it in favor of the heart of the city where opportunities were said to lie. A grandson inherited the house but didn’t have the means to take care of it and no one would buy it. A family spent their summers there, swimming in the lake and lighting fires at night, the kids grew up, got jobs and forgot about this place. Memories weren’t enough to keep it alive and even they were gone.

That’s when your inner-storyteller jumped out and the stories turned darker, more interesting. Embroidered with intrigue, isolation, curses, ghosts and death.

Yoongi looked at the house in curious interest.

“I discovered this in my first trip to the lake. There is something compelling about it that makes you want to learn more about it, about the story behind it,” you said. “Who it belonged to, why it is abandoned.”

“Everything is about stories to you,” Yoongi observed.

You followed the overgrown path up to the house. “We are stories. Each day, each moment, many moments together. The world is a story. Sad and happy, exciting and boring, sometimes disappointing. Who we are is a collection of stories. The ones we tell and the ones we keep locked deep inside us. They shaped us, even the ones we don’t remember.”

“If the world is a story, is that why you do what you do? Because you don’t want to be a villain? Someone the audience won’t like?”

Birds chirped in the distance, the song of summer’s passing. The lake was calm but you thought you could hear it licking the rocks and the old deck.

Your whole life you had studied stories. You were fascinated by them, the feelings they evoked, their messages, their hidden meanings, their structure. It was why you were a good director and screenwriter, why people were drawn to your movies and shows. You could fundamentally understand stories, pull them apart until you reached their bare bones and build them up again. Everything was about stories.

Your life had to be the same then. You were a story like all the others. What set you apart?

You weren’t the villain, you couldn’t be. You didn’t want to be.

You remembered all the times in your life you had likened yourself to a character trope or thought how a situation would have unfolded if it were in a movie. Perhaps you were too focused on stories, too deep in worlds that didn’t exist. Did that influence the way you acted? The decisions you took?

“I’m not a movie hero,” you said instead. “I don’t think I try to be one. I try to do my best. Stories are about morality in a way and everyone can perceive them differently. Everyone will have their opinions.”

Yoongi stood next to you, your shoulders touching. “You act like a movie hero. Who would go into a hybrid auction, put themselves in danger, with nothing to earn?”

“Someone foolish.”

His lips quirked up, untangling something in your heart. “That too, I guess.”

“I went in the first time,” you said, looking at the rundown house. “The roof looked like it would fall down any moment but I went in anyway. I wanted to see what was inside, what life was left in it.”

Yoongi snorted. “You went into a house knowing the roof could fall down on your head?”

“I told you, I have my foolish moments.” There were too many of those to count. Little ideas overtook your rational side and tempted you. “I wasn’t alone though. At least I had that much common sense.”

You didn’t say that you had been with Jacob. It felt weird to mention him like his name would be intruding.

“Did you find anything?” Yoongi asked like he really cared about the answer.

“Not much. A few pieces of rotten furniture, a couple broken plates in the kitchen, a very very old vase. Little signs of life. There were lines carved on the wall, horizontal, like they were measuring children’s heights. Scratches on the kitchen counters. There was a frame broken on the floor, I couldn’t see the photo well, it was yellow with age.”

Together, you looked at the house quietly, picturing the life it once held.

“Let’s walk some more before our time is up and John sends a search party for us,” Yoongi said, his fingers brushing the delicate skin of your wrist. The touch was light as a feather. Autumn and winter rolled away and it was spring again. The melting of snow, the first flowers blooming.

“Don’t underestimate him. If we’re late, he is going to call a search party.”

“I don’t underestimate him. I know he will.”

Please comment and reblog it motivates me to keep writing

[imagines--galore]

||Mind Over Matter|| Part Sixteen

Summary: Evelyn is Penelope Garcia’s protégé. She is a tech wiz, and knows her way around any kind of security and just like her mentor knows  how to dig deep and get into the past of anyone and has a knack for   anything with a chip in it. Including potato chips. The one thing she fails at is figuring out is the mind and how it works.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Evelyn Richardson(OC)

Rating || Genres || Warnings: T+ Romance. Adventure. Family. Some language, blood and violence in later installments.

Previously - Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, 

A/N: You know whats coming in the next couple of chapters! So enjoy a few moments of happiness. 

Takes place just at the beginning of Episode 14 Season 2

Putting away the last of the dishes Evelyn closed the door of the shelf softly. Giving the counter one final wipe she laid the towel she'd used neatly along the back of one of the stools around the island. The sound of her phone pinging caught her attention and she quickly picked it up, smiling at the name she saw lighting the screen, the red head flipped her phone open to reply back.

Plans to go out next weekend. Whole Team. You are not backing off Evelyn my sweet. – P

The sound of buttons clicking could be heard as Evelyn replied back.

Wouldn't dream of it. You know where I live anyway. – E

The phone pinged as a reply came through.

That is true my darling. Still be sure to dress cute. JJ and I have a pact to have you meet someone and fall in love and have cute mini-yous running around. – P

Evelyn barely had time to reply before the phone pinged again.

Don't worry Pen, I'm gonna be helping her get ready. – JJ

It seemed Penelope had messaged in the group text which comprised of her, JJ and of course Evelyn.

I am not a child that needs help tying their shoes or anything JJ. – E

No. But knowing you, you'd probably turn up in your work clothes and we can't have that. – JJ

My fellow blonde is correct. We need to make you look gorgeous. If not for anyone then yourself. – P

Evelyn rolled her eyes as she shot back her confirmation, prompting Penelope to urge JJ to bring an extra dress or two since she knew the state of Evelyn's closet. The young FBI Agent shook her head in amusement as she shoved her phone inside her jeans pocket and began making her way to the bathroom in preparation for another day at work.

The weekend arrived quicker then it ought to have. It had been a relatively slow week, a rarity for them, but one no member of the BAU questioned. Evelyn had managed to finally catch up with the file work she had been so behind and she knew this weekend she could truly relax and enjoy time with her friends. In preparation for the night out, the red head had decided to take a nice long bath. She hadn't had the chance to take one in ages. Quick showers usually did the trick for her, but Penelope was right, sometimes a girl did need to pamper herself to feel special.

JJ would be arriving in an hour or so after which Spencer would pick the two of them up and they would make their way to the club. Since the three of them lived close by it was convenient to take just one car. Stepping into the bathroom, Evelyn filled the tub with the right amount and temperature of water before adding in the soak spa Emily had given her. The woman claimed she had picked it up by accident, thinking it was shampoo. Evelyn had agreed to take it off her hands since Emily preferred showers anyway. 

Once the tub was full and everything was ready, the red head quickly stepped out of her clothes, placing her phone on the small table she had placed next to the bathtub, in case there was an emergency. The bathroom was filled with steam and a deep relaxed sigh fell from her lips as she allowed herself to be immersed in the warm water. Her curly red hair was tied in a knot above her head to keep from getting wet. She had already washed them a day ago. Leaning her head back against the towel behind her neck so that the marble of the tub wouldn't dig into her skin, Evelyn allowed her thoughts to drift as she listened to the soft music echoing from the stereo in her room.

It had taken her awhile to get over the run-in with her sister. Gideon had commented how she seemed to have reverted back to who she had been when she'd been recruited for the FBI. Evelyn had been surprised to hear his theory on how much she had changed. For one she had gained confidence and was surer of herself then she had been a few years ago. It seemed meeting her sister had wiped all of that clean given how all the bad memories she had worked so hard to forget came to the forefront of her mind and she lost whatever progression she had made when it came to herself.

Talking had helped a little. She had spoken to Penelope when she had gotten back. But only a little and only because the blonde had realized very quickly that something was up. Evelyn did manage to evade JJ and Emily's questions. Morgan had left the matter alone after their initial talk at the hotel. Though it did seem like he was being extra nice to her. Not that she was complaining. Hotch, like Gideon, had made a comment about it, given her a few words of encouragement before never mentioning it again, though she knew he was keeping an eye on her.

Spencer though was a different story.

It hadn't felt awkward or strange after they had spent the night together sleeping. Truth be told, she had woken up feeling well rested and calm as opposed to the raging storm of emotions she had been the previous night. They'd both been wrapped up around each other, and Evelyn had taken a few moments to fully appreciate his features in the early morning light before he had blinked himself awake and smiled at her, asking if she were feeling alright.

A question he had asked for the next few days. Every single day. In the morning when he greeted her and the evening when they would leave after a hard day of work. There was a special warmth that bloomed in her chest every time he asked. It was just amazing to her how caring he was being. Then again she had claimed him as her best friend and vice versa. And it was on their flight back to Quantico that Evelyn had realized that there was nothing she wouldn't do to make sure Spencer was safe. The thought had taken her aback, but she figured she had to face the truth sooner then later.

The sound of her cellphone had her jerking out of the little semi-doze she had been slipping in and out of. Quickly drying her hand, she grabbed her phone, flipping it open.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Evelyn! Its me. I'm just five minutes away from your house. Is JJ there yet?" She blinked at Spencer's voice. Checking the time on the small screen of her phone her eyes widened.

"No, but I think I took a longer bath then usual." As she spoke she stood, water falling around her as she slowly stepped out onto the floor mat, wedging the phone between her shoulder and ear and quickly pulling on her bathrobe. There was a brief moment of silence on his end which prompted Evelyn to frown.

"Hey Spencer? Still there?"

"Yeah! Yeah! I'm pulling up into your driveway now." His voice sounded a little strange but the red head shrugged it off.

"Hold on, I'll open up the door before I start changing." Sliding her feet into a pair of soft slippers, Evelyn disconnected the call and raced to the door, securing the front of her bathrobe as she went. Once she saw him approach the door she pulled it open, smiling to him in greeting. "You're a little early there Doctor." She teased as she closed the door behind him. He shrugged. "Well I got ready before the given time. Unlike some people." Evelyn glanced down at her bathrobe the same time he did. One that had fallen open slightly at the chest, despite her tight knot and ended mid-thigh, leaving her legs entirely bare.

It was right then that she realized that she was standing in front of her friend and colleague in nothing but a fluffy robe and slippers. Her cheeks turned a brilliant shade of red as she quickly turned around and began making her way back to her bedroom. "Help yourself to anything in the kitchen and let JJ in when she gets here, I'll be ready in a few." With that she slammed the door shut and leaned against it, feeling her skin burn with embarrassment as she hit the side of her head gently. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

In the living room where Evelyn had left Spencer, the young genius was trying his best to restart his own brain. He had certainly not been expecting to see his friend dressed as she was. Or rather the lack there of. Shaking his head to try and get the image out of his mind, Spencer quickly moved to the kitchen to grab himself some water. Hopefully that would cool down his burning cheeks. Though it did nothing to blot the image of Evelyn from his mind. Especially when he had heard her get out of the bath over the phone. Obviously she hadn't been wearing her robe then. Spencer groaned, this time splashing his face with water, silently chiding himself to stop thinking about her in that manner.

Really, what was wrong with him? He had always been in control of his mind. But now it seemed he could barely get it to cooperate with him when it came to Evelyn. More often then not he would find himself just thinking about her. At random. And now that they had both claimed to be each other's best friend Spencer had gained a new level of protection when it came to her. Sure he had been protective of her before, but now it had increased ten-fold. Especially after watching the way she had nearly broken down after running into her sister.

Spencer frowned as he went over the moment in his mind once more, absent-mindedly reaching out for the jar of cookies Evelyn always kept on the kitchen counter. Her past was still something he knew in bits and pieces, but now he had another piece to fit into the puzzle. Unconsciously his thoughts began to trail away from Evelyn's past to Evelyn herself. A new development he found he didn't mind. Thinking about her had the same effect on his mind as it did when being around her or talking to her. Calm and happy.

Not even ten minutes later JJ arrived, a little surprised at seeing Spencer already there. "Is Evelyn still getting ready?" She questioned. Spencer nodded. "Its only been ten minutes since I got here. Normally women take a lot more time then that to get ready no?"

The blonde shot him a look which had him pursing his lips and shrugging as if to say there was no lie in his statement. Making a small noise of agreement the media liaison approached the bedroom door. "Evelyn! Penelope said I had to approve whatever you're wearing and help you with your make up. She said and I quite, that you are helpless when it comes to that department."

Evelyn's voice was muffled as she shouted back. "No! JJ don't come in." The blonde rolled her eyes, her hand already resting on the doorknob.

"Oh come on Evelyn! Its not like its not anything I haven't seen before."

"That's not the point!"

"I'm coming in."

"JJ!" Her cries went unheard as the older woman was already closing the door behind her.

It took another ten minutes for Evelyn to finally get ready, and when she did emerge, with a proud looking JJ in tow, Spencer found himself at a loss for words. Which was a first for him. "I'm surprised at your choice of clothing Evelyn. I honestly thought I'd have to wrestle you not to wear a cardigan." The red head shrugged her shoulder slightly. "Penelope and I went shopping together a few days ago and she insisted that I wear this and it is very pretty so I thought why not."

The outfit Penelope had chosen consisted of a white off the shoulder shirt with full puffy sleeves. The shirt itself was puffy as well, but Evelyn had toned it down by wrapping a wide belt around her waist, accentuating it at the same time. Blue denim capris ended just mid-shin with her feet snug inside a pair of pretty ballet flats. Her hair was tied in a low ponytail, some of it resting on her bare shoulder, while the rest fell along her back. Her glasses were still in place, since she refused to wear contacts, claiming her eyes itched. Her makeup was minimal, but the shiny gloss seemed to draw attention to her lips. A pair of small hoop earrings stood out against the redness of her hair, but that was about it.

It wasn't glamorous or over the top. It was simple yet lovely.

Just like her.

While Evelyn looked around for her house keys, JJ managed to elbow Spencer in the gut. "Pick your jaw off the floor Spencer. You're making it a little too obvious." The Genius stuttered, growing cherry red in the face. "I-I wasn't-" His voice sounded hoarse. He coughed. The blonde giggled as Evelyn approached.

"Alright, lets get going. Penelope has already left six messages, and two voicemails." She frowned as Spencer tried to clear his throat once more. "You alright Spencer? Need some water?" The Doctor shook his head, finally getting his voice back. "No. I'm alright." With that he strode to the door and out to his car. Evelyn frowned in confusion at his sudden departure.

Her mouth opened to say something but JJ cut her off. "Lets get going Lady Ginger."

"Lady Ginger? Have you been talking to Derek?"

                                               ————————–

Tag List - molethemollie @cillsnostalgia @aceofspades190  @kathaaaaaaa @lovelyygirl8 @tatilolz  @punksnotdeadbutiam

[taevbears]

Magic Shop - 10

As the only non-magical being in a shop full of mages and familiars, Seokjin is starting to feel left out.

⤑ pairing: OT7 x witch!reader, Seokjin focused ⤑ genre: magic au, romance, angst, hurt/comfort, found family, domestic/slice of life, action/adventure ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ word count: 11.1k ⤑ warnings: smut (penetrative), implied smut, verbal sexual harassment, mentions of attempted sexual assault, oppression of mages, implied shady business dealings, probable inaccuracies with 92 liners, mentions of violence ⤑ note: welcome back to pt. 2 of the series! it's finally fall, and it feels good to be writing for this story again, especially with spooky season around the corner. each member will have 2 chapters dedicated to them, making this part twice as long as pt. 1 lol. happy reading, and i'd love to hear your thoughts about this chapter!

Chapters: Series ML | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Dear Mother and Father,

Seokjin pauses as he stares at the line he just wrote. It looks too formal, even with his own eyes.

I’m sure the news about Blackstone Castle has already reached our village by now. You both must be very worried about me. But I’m writing to let you know that your youngest son is alive and well.

More than well, he thinks, as he looks at the morning crowd before him.

The kitchen is busy like it usually is at this time. Hoseok is roasting coffee beans over a magical fire, extracting sweet and nutty aromas that fill the room. Yoongi is standing next to him, frying eggs and bacon into a pan. The sizzle and pop of smoky meat against oil makes Seokjin’s mouth salivate in hunger. Namjoon and Jungkook are checking inventory together, making a list of what things they need to pick up on their next trip to the market.

“What’s wrong, hyung? You’re making a face,” Jungkook points out.

The mage is frowning down at the list and rubs his neck like he’s stressed. But he shakes his head and tells Jungkook, “I’m just wondering if we need this much saffron? What are we even using it for?”

“Yes! I need it!” Hoseok answers, poking his head up to look Namjoon in the eye. “It’s for my potions! Don’t forget it!”

“It’s so expensive,” Namjoon blanches. Seokjin can’t help but notice that he looks a bit stressed again as he continues reading down the list.

“Taehyung, don’t you dare!” you shriek, grabbing everyone’s attention as you back away from the raven familiar. “Your hands are still wet!”

A deep, evil chuckle rumbles from his chest as he slowly advances toward you. He holds up his hands, water dripping from washing dishes over the sink. “Darling, I just want a hug.”

“No!” you yell, ducking away when he tries to grab you.

Neither Yoongi nor Hoseok is phased as the two of you run past them. They simply step aside, using magic to levitate utensils and ingredients upward so that you don’t knock them over.

You run straight to Jungkook, who’d do anything for you in a heartbeat. The toad familiar has you in his arms for a few seconds, seeing you plead for his help like a damsel in distress. That gets him to puff up his chest, bravely putting himself between you and Taehyung.

Little do you know, an enemy is nearby. Namjoon, who likes to tease you as well, tosses the list aside and grabs a hold of you. “I got her, Taehyung!”

“Traitor! I’ll make you pay!” you vow, even though his dimpled smile easily melts your heart. Seokjin blinks at the discarded list on the ground.

“Don’t fight,” Hoseok warns as he finishes making his coffee. He pours the dark liquid into several mugs. “It’s too early in the morning to be threatening each other.”

Yoongi looks over at you all, checking to see if you’re okay. Jungkook yells and jumps back when Taehyung tries to wipe his wet hands on the front of his shirt. Distracted, the toad hybrid doesn’t see the raven hybrid shift and fly over his head until he lands back on his feet as a human right in front of you. And, like the menace he is, wipes his hands on both you and Namjoon.

“Taehyung, why can’t you use a towel to wipe your hands?” you complain as he cackles in laughter. Seokjin stands up from the table and picks up the list for inventory.

“You know how when a cat brushes up against you, it’s like saying ‘you’re mine’?” he asks you, throwing a wink when you catch on. Followed by Hoseok’s loud teasing as Yoongi suddenly avoids eye contact with you and states that breakfast is ready.

A typical, noisy morning at the shop.

Becoming a warden has its challenges. You have to be up at the crack of dawn. The food they serve us tastes bland. Routine shifts are mundane and unchanging. They have daily reminders from the Devoted about how mages are cruel and evil, and how the wardens are heroes by keeping them locked away. Some of the wardens let that get in their heads, and they end up not being very nice people. Then, you go to bed by curfew and do the same thing all over again. It’s quite the thrilling life.

Seokjin scoffs.

In hindsight, his duties as a warden all sound like bullshit. The lies that the Devoted feed about mages and magic are far from the truth.

“That’s hardly fair.”

“Maybe you should’ve gone with a different color.”

“I bet he’ll look good no matter what color we pick.”

The three mages of the shop – you, Namjoon, and Hoseok – are baffled and scratching your heads. In an act of revenge for the chaos this morning, the three of you decided to team up and change Taehyung’s hair.

Into a vibrant blue.

The raven familiar smirks at his reflection on the mirror and looks at you three. “Don’t I look good like this, though?”

In seconds, the three of you huddle together for a new game plan. Hoseok is the first to point out, “I don’t think this is going to work, guys. He’s too handsome.”

Namjoon nods his head in agreement. “Yeah, he’s like Jin-hyung.”

“Me?” Seokjin asks, somehow finding himself included in the huddle.

“I could turn your hair baby pink and you’ll still be the most handsome person in the world,” you tell him, quite serious in light of the gravity of your situation. You don’t seem to notice the redness in Seokjin’s ears from your compliment.

The three of you – talented and skilled with magic – are deemed as threats, even if you’d never use your magic for evil. Hoseok is a potion master who brews concoctions in coffees and teas that add a bit of hope in each cup. Namjoon, who studies the history of the arcane arts and runes, uses that knowledge to write and collect interesting trinkets to decorate the shop. And you, the spell caster, who could incantate charms and hexes effortlessly, only use your abilities to protect the shop, help the people you care about, and occasionally turn one of their hairs into a color of the rainbow.

The Devoted has warned that mages like you bewitch mortals to do your will, host bloody sacrifices, shed the lives of innocents, and commit cardinal sins with demons in exchange for power.

These days, however, the three of you use magic to prank each other or one of the familiars.

“Guess you’ll have to come up with something else.” Taehyung shrugs, suddenly next to you in the circle, catching you all off guard.

I’ve managed to survive the mage rebellion with just a scratch. You raised a pro after all. An apprentice got a hold of a summoning book. He convinced others to form a mutiny, and it backfired badly. He became a monster, burdening all the pains and sorrows that he and the others have carried. That night was the scariest night of my life. I still have nightmares about it.

Seokjin stares at his reflection in the mirror. It’s been several months since the night you all fled from Blackstone Castle together, but the ugly scar on his torso is a fresh reminder of what had happened.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper every time you see it. “I should’ve gotten to you sooner.”

“You saved me just in time,” Seokjin assures you, trying not to shiver when he feels your fingers carefully trace the textured skin. It’s not as bad as before, but it’s still there. It’s still visible.

As the day comes to an end, you always check on each of them. The vibrant blue fades from Taehyung’s hair and you apologize. He says he’ll forgive you if you kiss him, and he’s reluctant to let you go when you do. All day, Yoongi seems avoidant, trying not to brush up against you, probably because of what Taehyung said that morning. But you assure him that you don’t mind, wrapping your arms around him yourself as he seems to ease into your touch. You check with the others too, though you’re always adamant to check on Seokjin.

And Seokjin knows why. Even if you never tell him.

You’re frowning, fixated on the scar. No amount of healing magic that you know could make it go away completely.

He glances at you and then back at the mirror. “I suppose this makes me a little less handsome, doesn’t it?”

“Of course not.”

Since the castle is no longer standing, I’ve moved into a nearby town. I spend my days happily now. No rules or duties to be obliged to. No pressure to conform to beliefs I don’t agree with. I’m only human. I’m lacking in a lot of ways that my housemates aren’t, but I found a family here, and it just keeps growing.

“Ow, ow, ow,” you cry mournfully, sticking out your aching tongue, and set a cup of hot tea on the coffee table. “I think I burned myself.”

Jimin turns to you with a sympathetic smile, but there’s a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. “Want me to kiss it better?”

He bursts into laughter when he receives his answer through a playful smack.

Your neighbor across the street comes more often these days, welcomed into the shop like another member of the coven. Except, when he’s around, the magic is hidden. No spellcasting, no shifting between forms, no sudden changes of hair colors.

To Jimin, you’re probably all just ordinary people who live together and work together in an inconspicuous, unassuming shop. And perhaps, the only strangest thing is your relationship with each of them.

Seokjin has to admit, even if he knows that relationships for mages differ from what is traditional by the Devoted, it takes time to get used to. He’s only gone as far as kissing you, but some of the others, including Jimin, have gone much further with you.

It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it. He just hasn’t found the right time to bring it up to you. Or the right place.

Seokjin eyes the way Jimin casually has his arm around the back of the couch behind you. He doesn’t seem put off when Hoseok comes to sit on your other side, holding his own cup of hot tea in his hands, practically making heart-eyes at you when you turn to talk to him. Or that any of the other residents are lingering in the parlor nearby, with Yoongi and Jungkook sitting on the small bench in front of the piano and playing a random melody, Taehyung taking a seat next to Jimin as he plays a board game with Namjoon, or Seokjin still trying to write a letter to his parents.

In fact, Jimin takes the whole polyamorous aspect of his relationship with you better than most people who’ve been raised by the Devoted teachings would.

Seokjin looks around the room and smiles softly to himself. With the eight of you all together, a full house just hanging out, it feels complete. He can tell that the other residents feel that way too with how at ease they are with Jimin around, despite him not knowing the truths about what you guys really are.

As the only other human in a room full of mages and familiars, Seokjin wonders if Jimin feels that sense of belonging too. And how he’ll react once he knows the truth.

There’s also this girl I met since I left home. She’s smart, brave, beautiful, and diligent. I think you guys would like her a lot. I feel like I fall in love with her more each day.

“What are you writing?”

Seokjin jumps and hunches over his paper, nearly spilling ink all over. Just as he’s started writing about you, you appear beside him. “A letter.”

“Oh? You have a secret lover I should be worried about?” you tease, placing your hand on your hip for emphasis.

“Well, you know,” he plays along. “Worldwide handsome, and all.”

“Of course. How could I forget?” Affectionately, you run your fingers through his bangs, exposing his forehead. His hair has been growing longer. At the castle, they routinely had to keep it short and clean. But now, after several months of no haircut, he may have to make use of the kitchen scissors and the bathroom mirror. “How did I get so lucky to have someone as handsome as you, Seokjin?”

“I’m the lucky one,” he replies, grinning at the shy smile you give him. “I’m actually trying to write to my parents. Let them know that I’m alive and doing well. With the way word spreads around, I’m sure they know about … you know.”

“Yeah,” you trail off with a small grimace. The fall of Blackstone Castle has also brought in many hunters into the nearby towns. It’s a constant worry for all of you that they might stumble into the shop one day, even if it’s located in the quieter side of town.

Seokjin tries to change the topic. “I’d love to introduce you to them. My family, I mean.”

“Would they like me?”

“Of course they will. They’ll probably ask when I’ll—” He cuts himself off.

“Ask you what?”

“They’ll probably ask when I’ll marry you.”

“Oh.”

Marriage is a sacred commitment to the Devoted. For mages, however, such a union simply doesn’t exist. They have their partners; they have their coven. But when magic is deemed evil, and those who wield it are treated as vermin, love in any form would be shunned and discouraged.

Seokjin sees the guilt flicker in your eyes. The way you nervously chew on your bottom lip, trying to carefully place your next words.

Truth is, Seokjin could walk out anytime he wanted. From you, from the shop. He’s not a warden anymore. He doesn’t have any ties or duties keeping him with you. He could find another partner, someone he could legally marry, and start a normal family. It’s safer if he would. But it’s foolish if he did. 

“You know that stuff doesn’t matter to me, right?” he asks you seriously. “You're my partner. The others are our family. I wouldn’t change it any other way.”

“If you ever change your mind…”

“I won’t. I promise.” He’s so certain, he holds his pinky toward you. Perhaps it’s a bit silly and childish, but it gives you the assurance you need. “I love you. I’ll always choose you. Nothing will ever change that.”

You smile softly and wrap your pinky around his finger. You return the sentiment in whispered words as he brings your hand closer to his and kisses your knuckles.

She’s everything to me. I wish you could meet her one day and see it for yourself.

Mornings are Seokjin’s favorite time of the day.

Usually.

He’s not a big fan of a neighbor’s rooster and its insistent crowing at 3:00AM. On the dot. Every single morning. He’s even less of a fan when, only a couple hours later, just as dawn is beginning to break, Seokjin hears it again at 5:00AM. Screaming at the top of its lungs over a slither of sunlight in the sky. And by 7:00AM, when it cries out the third time, it takes every fiber in Seokjin’s being not to stomp over, grab the rooster, and toss it in the air out of spite.

He also dislikes having to actually leave the safe and warm sanctuary of his bed. Where he’s cozy and comfortable beneath his thick blanket, and the mattress and pillows feel like he’s on a cloud. Where his favorite, long pajamas feel soft against his skin. But with a long list of tasks ahead of him, he reluctantly and mournfully pushes away the covers, shivers as the cold morning air sucks away the warmth, and begins to dress up for the day.

Otherwise, it wouldn’t be long until he hears the small creak of someone entering his bedroom. The breathy chuckles that escape his lips as he tries to hold back his giggles. Followed by the unmistakable whisper of, “Jin.”

“No, Hoseok, you can’t.”

And Hoseok would burst into loud laughter, hitting the lump that’s Seokjin beneath his covers, and ask, “Oh, hyung! How did you know it was me?”

Despite how he actually wakes up that day, mornings are relatively peaceful. Most of the residents are still asleep, and sometimes, he can hear Namjoon or Jungkook still snoring from their rooms. Candles automatically light up down the hallway of mixed doors, guiding him down the stairs and to the kitchen.

And that’s where you are, bright and early.

Or rather, these days, as Yoongi had quietly confided in him, because you haven’t been sleeping well. Nightmares, the black cat had explained.

“Hey, morning,” Seokjin greets you as you rummage around the kitchen, pulling out jars and pans as if it’ll inspire you to cook.

“Morning, Jin. What do you want for breakfast?” When you turn to him, he can see the tiredness in your face. Your eyes are a bit red, your posture more sluggish.

“I can do it,” he assures you, taking a pan from your hand before you drop it. You let him and instead, use your free hand to cover a big yawn. Even when you’re on the brink of passing out, Seokjin finds you cute. “Did you sleep last night?”

“Barely.”

“Because of that damn rooster?”

“Yeah,” you lie. Seokjin knows you don’t want to talk about the nightmares you’ve been having. Not even to Yoongi or Hoseok. 

But Seokjin sees the way you look at him. The relief that crosses your face when you see him, the guilt that follows after when your eyes trail to where his scar is. There’s an apology in your tongue, but before it could escape your lips, he jokes, “Maybe we should have that rooster for breakfast.”

“I don’t think our neighbor would like that,” you point out with a small smile. 

He returns your smile as he decides to make eggs and bread. But his smile fades when he notices that there’s less ingredients in stock than usual, even though Namjoon and Jungkook had just gone to the market yesterday. Did they not get enough?

“Our finances are low,” Namjoon reveals when Seokjin asks him about the lack of ingredients later that afternoon. As mages, it’s easier to get by, and the shop has always been more of a home than a business. But coin is still needed to buy fresh ingredients, to maintain amenities, and to keep the shop running.

Namjoon looks stressed. The human world and its standards are still new concepts to you and Hoseok, and Seokjin can tell that Namjoon doesn’t want either of you to worry. He’ll buy fewer eggs if he can get Hoseok his saffron. He’ll get cheaper quality meat, even if Jungkook complains that he can’t fork it. He’ll pick tangerines and strawberries himself if that’ll make Yoongi and Taehyung happy. He’ll pass up on a book or rune that he wants so he can get you something nice instead.

Seokjin glances over at you. You’re finally asleep, resting on the couch with Hoseok. One of his arms is protectively around your waist as he rubs soothing circles down your back and shoulders. Taehyung comes to put a blanket over you, and he’s careful not to wake you as he gently pats your head.

Clearly, you have a lot of things on your mind lately. 

“Hyung will do it,” Seokjin assures him, even if he doesn’t really know how. He’s only human. But he’ll find a way.

Seokjin knows you’re home when Yoongi, who’s been napping all afternoon, suddenly springs to life and meows impatiently at the door. It’s as if he’s saved up all his energy just to be the first to greet you hello when you step in.

Followed by the pattering of feet as Taehyung exclaims, “You’re home!”

And by the time Seokjin gets to you, you’re sandwiched between the two youngest and carrying Yoongi in your arms.

“Guys, let her breathe,” Namjoon lightly scolds Taehyung and Jungkook. As if the others aren’t also coming to the door to welcome you home like a bunch of puppies.

Seokjin manages to slip by your side as you take off your shoes. “How’s my favorite mage? Did you have fun with Jimin?”

“I had a good time. It was busy at the town square,” you inform him, standing on your toes to kiss his cheek. His mouth twitches back a shy smile and a blush. “Jimin said a lot of guilds are open for new members at this time. So, there are a lot of recruiters trying to get people to sign up.”

“Ah, that’s what happened to me!” Jungkook pipes up, nostalgia of his former days as an adventurer flashing through his mind. “In my town, there’s a big bulletin board that people put fliers on when they need help. I used it to pick up odd jobs here and there, like taking care of a rat infestation or delivering a package to someone in another town. And one day, I saw a poster for a guild fair. I went, did some research by talking to people, and ended up joining one.”

“You could probably join one of the ones here, too,” Yoongi says after jumping out of your arms and shifting to his human form. His black hair is a bit messy from sleeping all afternoon.

“I want to so badly! But sometimes, missions could take days to complete, and I don’t know if I can hold this form for that long without changing.” 

Jungkook sighs. For a recently-turned familiar, he’s making great progress controlling his transformations. But it wouldn’t do his party any good if he were to turn back into a toad mid-battle.

“Maybe once we turn you human again, you can,” Namjoon suggests, patting his head with sympathy, as if it’ll be easy. As if there isn’t a powerful, Wicked ex-girlfriend trying to hunt Jungkook down.

Jungkook pouts but nods his head. “The guilds are nice, and New Haven is the perfect town for them. It’s a good way to earn coins, make new friends, go on adventures, strengthen your skills, and get useful information.”

“Coins?” Seokjin repeats. He doesn’t hear a single word after.

“Yeah. If you’re good, a lot of guilds give you big bonuses after a mission.”

“Coins,” Seokjin echoes, suddenly turning away from you, lost in thought.

You stare after him, mildly concerned. “Jin?”

It is, perhaps, a mere coincidence that Seokjin finds himself at the town square the very next day.

Colorful tents are lined up around the plaza. Recruiters are shouting in the streets and handing out fliers to whoever passes by their booths. Some members are putting on a show, displaying trophies of their latest hunts, dueling against each other with shiny new swords and shiny new armor, and waving their flags around as they boldly claim their guild is the best. Even people from out of town are gathered to check out the festivities. Every brave, adventure-seeking soul is hoping to find their place in one of the many guilds here.

“Hey, you’re strong and handsome,” the fourth recruiter of the day stops him. “Want to join our guild?”

“What do you guys do? And do you make a lot of coins?” Seokjin asks, a bit curious.

“Oh, of course! We do lots of stuff! We explore caves and old ruins to look for hidden treasures, slay large beasts that trouble the local folks, visit ports to trade goods with foreign investors, hunt mages— Hey, where are you going?”

Seokjin immediately loses interest and walks away. He sighs, wondering if there’s even a guild out there that doesn’t list mages as monsters.

“Let’s just go one more round,” Seokjin mutters to himself. If he doesn’t find anything good, he can always think of something else.

He tries to stop by each one, listening to their criteria and what they’re looking for in a new member, and asking what they do and how much they make. But the moment they mention hunting down mages, he quickly moves to the next table. He almost wants to just ask that one question – whether or not they hunt mages – but he isn’t sure how to bring it up without warranting suspicions.

“Hey there, handsome. Are you interested in joining our guild?” a female recruiter asks. She’s thin and pretty, and when she smiles, her front teeth poke out a bit like a bunny. She has the kind of smile that reminds him of Jungkook. “We still have a few spots open if you are.”

Seokjin tries not to sound jaded as he smiles back at her. “What do you do?”

“The typical stuff most guilds do,” she begins to explain, but is suddenly interrupted by a commotion near the booth.

“Have you gone mad?!” a man shouts, seeming to be talking to another recruiter. “Mages will kill us if we let them! What is this nonsense about allowing the likes of them into the Freelancers?”

“Are mages not human as well?” a young, charismatic man replies, seeming to stand firm with his stance. “They have unique abilities that could take us further in our adventures than we could ever imagine. Think about it! If someone in our party is injured, we could rely on magic instead of using up precious medical supplies. They could clear obstacles in forests and tunnels to complete the mission faster. We could defeat savage beasts more easily and efficiently with their aid!”

“Lies! That goes against everything the Devoted teaches” a woman accuses as the crowd around them murmur.

“Who is that?” Seokjin asks as people continue to argue with the man. But he and a couple others flanking his side have a rebuttal for each statement. It only riles the crowd up even more.

“His name is Tariq,” the female recruiter answers with a laugh. “You must be out of town. He’s infamous around New Haven.”

“I can see that,” he replies as he watches the debate. He’s half-surprised no one has accused him of being a mage-sympathizer yet.

“Tariq can be intense, but he’s the greatest strategist and fighter in New Haven,” she explains as if she’s read his mind. “His values don’t always align with the Devoted, but even the town leaders can’t deny how much they rely on him to protect the town. He’s cultivated his own following within the guilds too. Lots of people support and admire him, no matter how crazy his ideas can be.”

Just then, another man breaks through the crowd and grabs a hold of Tariq’s arm. “Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize on behalf of the Freelancers, but this debate is now over. Tariq will take some time to reflect on the concerns brought up today.”

“And that’s Adnan, his older brother,” she continues, nodding to the new guy that has pulled Tariq aside to scold him. “He’s the leader of the Freelancers, but the two of them couldn’t be any more different.”

“What are the Freelancers?” Seokjin asks, finally looking away from the two now that the crowd has begun to die down.

“That’s us,” she replies with a nervous laugh. “We’re a bit controversial, as you can see, but we firmly believe that anyone – even magic or not – will find a place in our guild.”

Seokjin nods his head and considers what she’s told him. He only has one question left. “Where do I sign up?”

In their glory days, the Freelancers were a powerful and ruthless mercenary group.

They were unlawful. A guild that got their start from handling odd jobs that couldn’t go through legal and official channels, and taking up difficult quests that other guilds didn’t find worth the effort to do themselves. Eventually, they became notorious for engaging in shady, cutthroat contracts such as back-door dealings and accepting secret fundings from nobility without honor or integrity.

With enough coin, there was no job that the Freelancers refused to take.

Recently, under the leadership of Adnan and Tariq’s great-grandfather, the Freelancers have more peaceful, quasi-honorable practices. His goal was to eradicate the guild’s notoriety and build a new legacy. In the eyes of the public, the Freelancers have now become the biggest and most reliable organization for quests and missions.

It’s a reputation that their father has upheld as well, accepting most people who were willing to join: men and women, nonbinary, wealthy nobles and poor peasants, skilled warriors with years of practice and those just looking to gain experience. However, as his reign comes to an end, the guild looks to his two sons for guidance.

Adnan, the oldest, plans to retain the current honorable methods that his family has instilled and follow the footsteps of their legacy. Accepting those willing to join their noble cause, offering new opportunities to their members to make extra coin, and taking righteous paths as instructed by the Devoted to thwart out evil from the town.

But Tariq, the younger and more charismatic brother, is ambitious and wants the guild to take on a more profitable, but shadier nature. It doesn’t matter to him if those who join are mages, demons, or monsters either, as long they’re on his side. Just as they did in their glory days before his great-grandfather.

Discourse between the two brothers and their sizable followings have been brewing within the guild. It’s a tension that’s been there long before Seokjin joins.

And it won’t be long until a clash of interest threatens the entirety of the Freelancers.

“Hyung, you joined a guild?” Jungkook exclaims, hopping after with excitement. “I’m so jealous! Which one is it?”

“They’re called the Freelancers,” Seokjin answers, showing the flier he received with the date and location of his first official meeting with them. “They’re the biggest guild in New Haven.”

Hoseok whistles. “That’s impressive! Congrats, Jin!”

“Hopefully this brings in more coins for us, too,” Seokjin adds as he looks at Namjoon. The recruiter told him they tend to get more quests than other guilds, especially with how famous the two brothers are. More quests mean more opportunity for coins.

Namjoon frowns a little. “Hyung, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I want to,” Seokjin assures him. “I want to be more useful to you guys and the shop. I think this is the best way I can do it.”

After all, Seokjin isn’t gifted with magic. He doesn’t have any affinity to the Veil or its mysterious realm. Seokjin is only human. But he’s a human who knows how to fight and take care of himself in battle.

“Wouldn’t that mean you won’t be home?” Yoongi asks him. A silence follows as the rest of you wait for his answer.

“Maybe from time to time. They’ll have me do local missions first before they send me off somewhere far,” Seokjin explains, sensing the uneasiness of that idea. “I’ll let you guys know when they do before I take the quest.”

“What about the shop?” Namjoon questions.

“I can do tasks for the guild in the morning, and help at the shop at night,” Seokjin decides, already putting that in consideration when he went to the fair. “That’s usually when the tavern is the busiest.”

“Wouldn’t you be tired?” Taehyung wonders out loud.

“I’ll do my best for both. Don’t worry.” Seokjin knows he’ll have a team to carry out missions with at the guild, and a family to rely on when he returns home. He turns to you, noting your silence. Gently, he takes your hand in his and presses, “Talk to me, sweetheart. What’s on your mind?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” you tell him, frowning as your gaze lingers down to his torso. To where his scar is. “What if something happens to you while you’re away? What if I can protect you?”

“I’ll be careful,” he assures you, pulling you into a hug. He understands your feelings. Truly, he does. But Seokjin has always been a dutiful and honorable man. And helping relieve some of the financial burdens from Namjoon is the least he could do. “Once my mission is over, you’ll be the first I run back to. Promise.”

Before he became a warden, Seokjin was a promising recruit. He’s self-disciplined, admirably hard-working, and spent extra time honing his skills to push himself a little further than his peers. While new recruits rested from their rigorous training, he’d be up a few hours earlier to practice with his word, to study how to disarm enemies, and to strengthen his mental fortitude.

It’s an attitude and passion that he’s carried as a new recruit to the Freelancers.

“Are you sure this is your first time joining a guild?” his mentor, Junghwan, asks him. He’s also fairly new to the guild, joining only six months prior to Seokjin. He’s been tasked to take him and the other new recruits on their first mission.

Bandits were blocking the main road into town and were scamming weary travelers of their coin.

Seokjin was able to coerce them off the road and to return the stolen coins. But when the bandits later came to ambush their group, his parrying skills in battle sent them away for good.

“It’s pretty fun,” Seokjin admits with a bashful smile. He feels good about his first small victory. And feels even better when the clerk at their guild pays him his reward.

Coins clatter on the counter as Seokjin dumps out his earnings for the week. “It’s not much now, but imagine how much more I can make if I take up more missions.”

“Wow, hyung…” Namjoon trails off, staring at the small pile. It’s enough to bring home the entire list of what everyone wanted, expensive saffron and all. “This would really help us out a lot.”

Seokjin smiles. “I think I could be really good at this.”

He hasn’t been in the guild for very long, but it’s everything he had hoped to have when he was a warden. That feeling of brotherhood among the members, from the throes of battle to the clinking mugs of cold ale. The small victories that lead to praise and coins. An outlet to constantly improve himself, make himself stronger, faster, and a better protector for you and the others.

“Joon, we’re out of eggs again,” you inform him, coming out of the kitchen to where they are. You’re about to ask if he can run to the market and get some more when you notice the shiny coins on the counter.

Seokjin smiles warmly at you. “I’ll buy you as many eggs as you want, beautiful.”

It isn’t long until Seokjin takes up more missions: investigate a caravan that was ambushed and report back with the news, explore a nearby cave and eradicate the giant spiders dwelling inside, find a specific blue flower that grows on the hillside of the woods and bring it to the requester. He climbs higher in ranks within the guild, already surpassing the initiates that joined when he had. Members of the Freelancers begin to take notice as well.

“What’s your name, son?” Adnan asks him at the guild’s mess hall, eyeing the young man before him.

“It’s Seokjin, sir.”

“Seokjin, huh.” He repeats his name and gives him an approving pat on the shoulder. “Keep up the good work, Seokjin.”

He feels his chest swell with pride. Receiving acknowledgement from the leader of the guild, especially one as big as the Freelancers, feels like a big deal.

“Hey, new guy, come sit with us!” a female member named Heeyeon calls out to him. Around them, other tables are discussing strategies, refueling on food and drinks, and sharing stories about their latest missions. Seokjin rarely stays at the guild’s base long enough to eat, usually running back to the shop as soon as a mission is complete. But he sees his mentor, Junghwan, sitting next to her, as well as the female recruiter that had signed him up. “I don’t know if you met everyone yet, but this is Byulyi, Sunwoo, Junghwan, and Jaehwan.”

Byulyi smiles when she recognizes him. “Hi Seokjin! Long time, no see. How do you like the Freelancers?”

“With the way he’s going, he’ll probably outrank his mentor in a month,” Sunwoo teases, elbowing Junghwan on the ribs. The two of them, Junghwan had mentioned, have come from the same hometown before they settled in New Haven.

“I’d believe that,” Jaehwan agrees, pointing out how he saw Adnan talking to him. He raises a glass to Seokjin with a bright smile. “I hope we can do missions together. It’s better when you’re with a team than by yourself.”

Seokjin returns the smile with a shy one of his own. “I think I’d like that.”

Jaehwan isn’t wrong. Turns out, picking up missions as a group is easier than doing them alone. There’s safety in numbers, and the variety of skills within the group work seamlessly on and off the field. Plus, it’s more fun with other people. A lot more fun.

Especially in a group as charming, good-looking, and funny as they are.

Team Kim Seokjin, as they have started to call themselves. Because after Seokjin joined their party, they’ve yet to fail a mission they’ve taken on.

By the time Seokjin arrives at the base in the morning, Byulyi already has a few quests lined up for them. She has a knack of finding ones that have a big payout, and once all members of their party arrive at the guild, they decide which ones they want to tackle for the day.

Sometimes, they’re easy tasks like reconnaissance, finding specific ingredients in the woods, or helping elderly townsfolk with hard labor. Other times, they’re more difficult like detaining a pick-pocketer from the marketplace, fighting off a dangerous wild cat from entering New Haven, or protecting goods from bandits while it’s being delivered to the next town.

Junghwan and Jaehwan instantly click with Seokjin. Between witty one-liners and endless puns, the three become fast friends. Seokjin can’t remember the last time he’s laughed so hard while on a job. Even Heeyeon, who is a little shy at first, warms up to him and shows her sillier side.

By the end of the day, it’s Sunwoo who turns in the mission reports to the pretty clerk he has a crush on. All of them work hard, deserving of the rewards they collect, and they divide the earnings of the day evenly between the six of them.

“Man, what a day.” Junghwan sighs, massaging his shoulder after another successful mission.

“I’m starving,” Byulyi states as she rubs her stomach. “Should we get something to eat before we head to the base?”

“That sounds good to me,” Jaehwan agrees, turning to face Seokjin. “Are you coming with us, Seokjin?”

“I can’t,” Seokjin replies with an apologetic smile. It’s getting late and you might need help at the shop. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“You always have somewhere to go,” Junghwan pouts, a bit disappointed that his new friend could never hang out after completing a mission. Most people in their guild like to celebrate their small victories by grabbing a drink and eating dinner together.

It isn’t like Seokjin doesn’t want to. He’s sure it’ll be fun, and he knows he’d have a great time with them.

But he has a promise to keep.

With a quick exchange of goodbyes and no hard feelings of missing out on another dinner with the group, Seokjin runs back to the shop. His legs are burning from being on his feet all day. He’s dirty and sweaty from the various tasks he’s been assigned for the day. But as the sun begins to dip below the horizon, coloring the sky in twilight, he nears the shop and sees you.

Occasionally, you’d be there to greet him in front of the shop. Sometimes, with a cup of tea and a book as one of the familiars sit on your lap or shoulder. Sometimes, you’re talking to Jimin as he waters the flowers sitting outside his shop. Or sometimes, like today, it’s just you.

The golden glow basks upon your skin as you sit on the porch steps, and all Seokjin can think about is how beautiful you look. No matter how difficult the mission is or how exhausted he feels, he remembers that he’s doing it for you.

When you notice him, a bright smile lights up on your face. “Jin! You’re back!”

And Seokjin feels himself falling in love with you all over again, laughing as he gathers you in his arms after a long day. “I’m home.”

Word about Team Seokjin and their success rate is spread around the Freelancers, and in no time, they become one of the most promising groups in the guild. Every mission they take on, they’ve completed and earned high praise from those they helped. Some clients even come back and specifically request them for another job.

Inevitably, this attracts the attention of Adnan and Tariq. Separately, the brothers have approached the group with special jobs. 

Adnan’s requests seem to fall in line with the Devoted’s charity work. Manpower to help at fundraising events, collecting donations of supplies and coins around town, finding a missing child from the town’s orphanage. Things that would normally make him feel good, if it weren’t for the magical hearsay they spew out at every event.

It's the opposite of the “no questions asked” missions that Tariq gives them. Delivering inconspicuous scrolls to certain individuals, dropping off packages at the back of bars and alleyway businesses, bringing in traitors who’ve gone rogue for Tariq’s men to deal with. No one in Team Seokjin wants bad blood in their hands, but with the reputation that Tariq has, it’s certain that he’s bound to have many enemies as well.

If they’re lucky, they can leave for a mission before either brother gives them one. They become increasingly more difficult and take up more time in his day, but all of them prefer choosing their adventures than to be stuck doing one of the brother’s favors.

And as always, after his missions, Seokjin goes straight home.

He’s dead on his feet as he changes clothes and throws on an apron, cooking at the busy tavern for the rest of the night. Yoongi has been helping him a lot too, taking over the kitchen when Seokjin isn’t there, and making sure that he isn’t burning anything or falling asleep when he is. Namjoon tries to talk him out of helping at the shop, worried that he’s pushing himself too hard, but Seokjin refuses to listen. Even Taehyung tries to block his path to the tavern and send him to bed instead.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Seokjin says as soon as he gets to the door. 

It’s another one of those days. A mission retrieving an old woman’s cat had Team Seokjin running around the entire town all day. After several close calls of getting his handsome face and long arms scratched, climbing up trees and rooftops, and losing sight of the little menace, the cat eventually went back on its own. The old lady gave them each an extra coin to show her appreciation.

There are a handful of customers in the shop: a small group of women that have been frequenting the parlor room to see the two youngest sing and play music, a couple guys that seem to be catching up and sharing drinks by the bar, and a few groups eating supper at the tables.

Jimin is there too, as he always is these days, clearly flirting with you while you’re trying to work. Your bashful smile at Jimin changes to one of delight when you finally see Seokjin. “You’re home! Welcome back!”

“Sorry, I got held up,” he explains when he gets to you, kissing your cheek.

“It’s okay. We got things covered,” you assure him, pulling up a chair in front of Jimin. “Just rest up. I’ll get you something to drink.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. He sinks into the chair with a sigh of relief. “Thank you. You’re an angel. I love you.”

Seokjin completely misses the surprised look you give him at his last words. Ones that nearly have you bumping into another table before you head to Hoseok’s bar. But Jimin catches it, looking between you and Seokjin with intrigue.

“How are things at the Freelancers?” Jimin starts, propping his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his knuckles.

“They’re good. It keeps me busy,” Seokjin tells him, still leaning back on his chair and keeping his eyes closed. He could fall asleep like this if he wanted to. “It makes good coin, too. If I can save up enough, maybe I can take us on a trip to my hometown.”

“Your hometown?”

“Yeah, it’s a small fishing village.” He opens his eyes and stares up at the ceiling, thinking about the letter he tried to write to his parents. Seokjin left home to become a warden, since that was what was expected of him. Despite how terrified he was of mages at the time, he worked hard on his training, only to feel miserable and out of place within the brotherhood. His friends are now people he once thought were the enemies, and he’s fallen in love with a girl he swore would turn him into a toad one day. “I’ve always wanted to take her there. Show her the pier where all the boats dock and the sea lions sunbathe, take them all to the beach and see the ocean, go fishing, maybe introduce her to my parents.”

Sometimes, he misses the salty breeze, the sound of waves crashing against each other, the gentle rocking of the boat on water, and the thrill of getting something caught in his line and pulling the fishing rod to see what it is. Sometimes, he misses the taste of his mother’s home-cooking, spending time with his father, and getting in trouble with his older brother. Sometimes, he misses home.

“That sounds nice,” Jimin replies, snapping Seokjin out of his thoughts. He sits up, almost forgetting that the florist was sitting across from him.

Honestly, he doesn’t know Jimin that well. He’s good company, sure. You clearly love him, just as much as you love the others. Hoseok and Taehyung seem to believe that he’ll be a significant person to all of you. And Jimin seems like a decent guy. He treats you well, he’s friendly with the rest of them. Just like Seokjin, he’s just trying to find his place in the dynamic between you and the others in the shop.

Because Jimin, like him, is only human.

Perhaps that’s why Seokjin offers, “You want to come with us?”

Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Me?”

“Yeah, why not? It’ll be fun to go together,” Seokjin replies with a tiny shrug. He knows you’ll be happy to have Jimin come along too.

Jimin is a bit quiet. Then, softly, and perhaps still a bit perplexed, he asks, “You really want me to?”

Before Seokjin could answer, you finally return with a couple cold beers: one for him and one for Jimin. “Sorry for the wait. Hoseok and I were talking, and Yoongi needs my help in the back. I’ll catch up with you guys later, yeah?”

“Sure, love.” Jimin reaches over to squeeze your arm reassuringly. He promises to say goodbye to you before he heads back to his shop.

“Thanks, angel,” Seokjin says with a gentle smile. One that becomes fonder as you brush his hair back and place a quick kiss on his temple.

Though, the action doesn’t go unnoticed. One table over is a group of three men on their fourth round of ale that night. As you pass by, one of them shouts, “Hey, lady, where’s my kiss?”

Mocking laughter follows as the man puckers his lips when you turn to them, confused and taken aback. And in a brief moment, you have that same, terrified look.

Suddenly, Seokjin is back to that night. At Blackstone Castle. Heading to his quarters after another unsuccessful Harrowing, catching three of his fellow wardens cornering you in a dimly-lit hall. The tremble in your voice when they interrogate you with invasive questions, how they disable you from fighting back, tugging on the clothes they’ve ripped.

Without thinking, Seokjin stands up. His hand automatically grips the hilt of his sword. All he sees is red.

At the same time, Jimin is on his feet too. For a second, Seokjin thinks Jimin is trying to hold him back, but his eyes are glaring right at the men cat-calling you. He’s holding the edge of the table so hard, his knuckles are beginning to whiten.

Before either of them could make a move, Hoseok steps away from the bar and quietly urges you to go to the back. That he’ll handle things at the front. He gives a pointed glance at both Seokjin and Jimin, wordlessly telling them to sit back down before they make things worse.

“Shit,” Jimin curses softly, letting go of the table and sliding back down on his seat. He rubs his face, a bit distressed. “Not again.”

Seokjin follows and frowns. “Has this happened before?”

“Just once, as far as I’m aware of,” Jimin reveals with an annoyed sigh, still angry about what happened. “Some asshole tried to touch her while she was cleaning a table. Jungkook saw and punched him, but it got messy. Namjoon ended up throwing that guy out.”

His frown deepens. “They didn’t tell me about this.”

“You were on a quest. What could you have done?”

“I’m going to take the day off tomorrow,” Seokjin informs you. He watches from the doorway as you apply a night cream on your face.

“As much as I’d love that, you don’t need to do that for me, Jin,” you tell him. “I know the guild is important to you.”

“You’re more important.”

You turn to face him. “Jin.”

“I miss you.” He means it. The mornings when the two of you would wake up and make breakfast together has almost become a distant memory.

The way you look at him then has his heart yearning. “I miss you, too.”

And it isn’t long before he closes the distance between you two, lips on yours in a kiss he can’t recall who started, wanting to make up for the time he lost.

Heeyeon eyes the bite-sized bruises on his neck. “There’s a meeting today.”

“I’m aware,” Seokjin replies, pretending that he doesn’t notice what she’s looking at.

It isn’t going too well. Especially with the way Jaehwan and Sunwoo are wagging their eyebrows at him.

“All the guild members have to attend,” Heeyeon continues. She doesn’t look away.

“Yes, I know.” Seokjin’s ears begin to turn red from the attention.

He doesn’t know what’s worse. That the two of you got a little carried away with just kissing, or that nothing explicit happened between you two yet. Maybe you could tell that he was tired or nervous, or maybe he was still trying to be a gentleman when you didn’t want him to be. But as he lies on your bed with you in his arms, the almost hanging over his head of what could’ve occurred that night, he realizes that there’s something he needs to tell you before he isn’t able to resist you anymore. 

Junghwan suddenly sits next to him with a shit-eating grin on his face. “So, Seokjin, my best friend. I see you enjoyed your day off yesterday.”

Jaehwan and Sunwoo snort in laughter. Even Byulyi tries to hide her smile before she tries to get them quiet down. Other people in the guild are beginning to look their way.

Seokjin couldn’t ask for better timing as Adnan stands before the entire guild. They received an important mission from the capital. 

“Our target is located around here,” he informs, pointing at a spot on the map. “We will need as many volunteers for this daunting task. My brother, Tariq, and I will also be accompanying you on this mission.”

Hearing that it will take multiple days to travel, investigate, and complete the mission has Seokjin wanting to pass it up.

Then, he hears the reward amount.

A collection of gasps and excited chatter fills the room. It’s the biggest bounty any of them have seen for one mission.

Junghwan clasps Seokjin’s shoulder and shakes it with excitement. “Did you hear that? We have to go!”

“I can’t.”

Team Seokjin all look at him with surprise. “Why not?”

“It’s… complicated,” he henges, not really sure how to explain the situation. 

After what Jimin told him, he doesn’t feel comfortable leaving you alone that long. He knows the others at the shop will take care of you, of course. And he knows that his earnings for this mission will be enough to take you all to his hometown like he had planned. But it’s still his job to protect you, even if he isn’t a warden anymore.

“Is your wife pregnant or something?” Sunwoo asks, then yelps in pain when Byulyi elbows him.

Seokjin runs his hand through his hair. He doesn’t catch what Sunwoo calls you as he answers, “It’s not that. I just… I have to talk to her about it.”

Jaehwan comments, “I’m sure you’ll find a way to convince your wife.”

Five pairs of eyes linger to the fading markings on his neck.

“I don’t think it’s up to me, Seokjin,” you tell him, hugging his arm as you sit on the front steps of the shop. Dusk colors the sky with pretty hues of orange and purple, but as the sun sinks beautifully beyond the horizon, you feel Seokjin’s eyes on you.

“I don’t have to go,” he reminds you quietly. He told you that plenty of people seemed interested in taking up the quest.

“But do you want to go?”

It’s obvious that Seokjin has found his place with the Freelancers. Despite how tired he is by the end of the day, he enjoys going on quests with his new friends, conquering daunting tasks, and reaping their rewards.

A starry-eyed Jungkook and a curious Taehyung eagerly listen when Seokjin recounts his adventures for the day. You catch him handing a lot of his earnings to Namjoon, telling him that it’s for the next trip to the market, for a night out when the shop is closed, to keep in their savings. You hear him tell Hoseok and Yoongi that he’ll buy them whatever they want too, whether it’s a new coat that Hoseok has been eyeing or some better-quality meat from the butcher Yoongi likes.

If his mission is successful, he might even take time off for a bit. Give himself a break to enjoy what he’s been missing and what he’s earned. It’d be foolish of him to refuse.

“I’ll be worried about you,” he continues with a woeful sigh. “You’ll be stuck with a bunch of 8/10s.”

“I think I’ll survive. What’s the worst that Jungkook can do?” you half-joke, but then you pause when you actually think about the possibilities. “Actually, never mind. I think we both should be very worried.”

He laughs and kisses the top of your head. “I’ll miss you.”

“Not as much as I’ll miss you.” These days, you feel like that’s all you do. You miss him. Seokjin hasn’t been around as much since he joined the guild.

“I’ll make it up when I come back.”

“Or,” you begin, suddenly sitting up and looking him in the eye, “you can make it up to me now.”

“Can I admit something?” Seokjin begins, pressing his back against the lilac-colored sofa in his room. Red burns his ears and heats his face as your clothes slip off your body and fall on the ground. He feels like his entire body is on fire as you tilt your head, stripped of everything but your panties, and wait for him to continue. “I, uh… I don’t… I told you I was in a monastery before I became a warden, right?”

“Yes. You got kicked out,” you respond, stepping out of your clothes.

“For telling bad jokes,” he henges, seeming torn between looking away and staring at your body. You’re so gorgeous, it’s making him insane. “Anyway, funny thing that the monastery teaches—”

“Jin.”

“—lust to humans is a cardinal sin, and only the Wicked indulges in such—”

“We can just kiss like last time. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Seokjin peeks at your face, glances down at your chest, and then covers his entire face with his hands, muffling a groan. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but,” he takes your hand in his, “I know that for mages and even some humans, this isn’t a big deal. But it is to me. I just want you to understand that.”

“It’s fine, Jin. I understand. Let me just—” You start to pull away, but Seokjin keeps a firm hold on your hand, refusing to let it go.

“I don’t think you do, angel,” he says, tugging you closer to him again. “What I’m trying to say is that I love you. Truly. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone but you.”

He sees his confession sink in on you. “Jin…”

“According to the Devoted, I’m damning my soul for you, you know. The least you could say is that you love me back.”

“I love you,” you giggle, and he isn’t sure who kisses who first, but suddenly, you’re on his lap. Your hands cup his jaw, tilting his head back as you lean down to kiss him, and his hand tentatively squeezes your breast. You sigh when you pull away from his lips and start to kiss his neck, revisiting some of the hickeys you left last time. “I like when you touch me.”

“Yeah?” He practically moans. He likes when you touch him too.

His clothes are off, and you seem just as fascinated with his body as he is with yours. You practically squeal and giggle when he suddenly picks you up with his strong arms and carries you to his bed. The whites of his bedding truly make you look like an angel as you lie on top of it.

Seokjin leans over you, kissing you deeply. When he pulls back, your eyes are still closed with content. Breathless, you murmur, “I like when you kiss me, too.”

He takes this as a cue to kiss you more. Touch you more. Your body is so soft and warm. His heart races with assurance that you’re enjoying this as much as he is. That you’re letting him know how to please you.

He takes you slowly, filling you entirely. He intends to take his time with you for the first time, but the way you whine and grasp his forearm has him desperate for more. The kisses become sloppier. His own grunts and moans against your skin, against your lips, only encourage you to help him chase that climax.

But a stubborn part of Seokjin wants to take care of you first.

A loud gasp is caught from your throat and your hips jerk slightly when you feel his thumb against your clit. Experimental touches as he continues to thrust into you. “Oh, fuck, Jin, I—”

He doesn’t need you to tell him that you liked that.

You come undone for him, and Seokjin is so in awe and so in love as the waves of pleasure leave you quivering and clenching around him. There’s a light sheen of sweat on your skin, but it makes you glow. He smiles a little as he gives you a moment to catch your breath before he hooks your leg around his waist again.

You meet his gaze, a bit surprised when you feel him still hard inside you. Seokjin chuckles and leans over to kiss you again.

He makes you cum two more times before he allows himself to finish.

It’s a little before 6:00AM when he hears it.

The loud crowing of the neighbor’s damn rooster.

A groan escapes Seokjin’s lips as he tries to sink further into the blanket, pulling the covers over his head. There’s a weight on him that’s preventing him from moving, and it isn’t until you’re both under the covers when he realizes it’s you.

Your brows are furrowed, waking up a little when you feel him stirring, but your eyes are still closed. Your lips are parted slightly as your breaths are still slow and even. And you’re cutely tucked against him, bare skin touching his and hair messy from sleep.

It’s probably the first time in a while that you’ve slept through the night.

And Seokjin suddenly has another reason to like the morning. Especially if it means waking up to you.

“You know,” Seokjin begins when you wake up, still in bed and under the covers with him. “According to all the Devoted sisters in the monastery, I should’ve been struck by lightning by now.”

“That so?” you ask, voice still full of sleep.

“Yep. Lightning first, then the end of civilization as we know it.”

“It could still happen,” you reply with a smirk.

“Are you insinuating that we test that?” he questions with a mischievous smile of his own. “Naughty girl.”

Your giggles are muffled with a kiss as Seokjin rolls on top of you.

“Ah, good you haven’t left yet!” Hoseok exclaims when you and Seokjin come down the stairs sometime later. In his hand is a beaded bracelet. “Taehyung and I wanted to give this to you. It’s another good luck charm. He worked really hard finding the prettiest beads so I can make this.”

Taehyung puffs out his chest with pride and nods his head. 

Seokjin smiles as he puts it on. It reminds him of the one Hoseok gave him at Blackstone Castle when they were still weary of each other. 

Things have changed a lot since then.

“Hyung, I’ve done some research on what beasts are in the areas you’re traveling to,” Namjoon says, carrying some notes in his hands. The dark circles beneath his eyes indicate that he’s been up all night putting it together for him. “I made a list of each of their weaknesses too in case you engage in battle with them.”

Jungkook’s eyes are a bit shiny as he hugs Seokjin. “I wish I could go with you, but since I can’t, you have to stay safe so you can tell me all about your quest.”

“What do you feel like eating, hyung? I’ll cook today,” Yoongi offers, already holding a pan and a cup of coffee in his hands.

Seokjin blinks, trying not to tear up.

Unlike the others in the shop, Seokjin is just human. He doesn’t have any special abilities or arcane knowledge that the mages and familiars have. Yet, he’s still very much loved by every person at the shop.

There’s a knock at the door, and Seokjin goes to open it, knowing that there’s only one person in town that comes by when the shop is closed.

Jimin smiles at him. “Everyone in town is talking about the mission the Freelancers are taking. Are you going with them? I thought to stop by and wish you luck if you are.”

“Yeah, I’ll be heading to the meeting spot soon,” Seokjin answers as he lets him in. Everyone is still at the breakfast table, and it’s loud and lively like it usually is. As Jimin looks on, there’s a hint of loneliness and yearning on his face. Like he’s still very much an outsider to you all. “Hey, could you do me a favor?”

“Hm? Oh, sure. What is it?”

From one mortal to another, he has a simple request. “Take care of my family, okay?”

Saying goodbye to you all is more difficult than he thought it would be. He knew it’d be hard. After escaping Blackstone Castle together, you and the others haven’t really been separated at all.

Team Seokjin are all gathered at the meeting spot. There are quite a few other teams that have volunteered as well. All of them are chatting and saying goodbye to loved ones, and the two brothers seem to be in the middle of an argument as they discuss their initial plans at their debrief.

Seokjin leans his back against the tree trunk, sitting down. He’s just waiting for the debrief to be over so that they can be given further instructions, but it seems to be taking a while.

He rummages through his pack, triple-checking that he has everything he needs while he’s still in town. He has the essentials: medical supplies, food rations, a canister for water, a hunting knife, clothes and toiletries. Hoseok snuck some of his potions and antidotes in his pack as well, disguising them as medicine. A small smile forms on his lips when he finds a small alpaca doll in his bag as well. He isn’t sure who put it in there, but he’s certain it’s been enchanted to watch over him.

Then, he finds the letter that he started writing to his parents. He never finished it, and never got to send it. He starts to miss you when he sees that the last thing he wrote was about how you’re everything to him.

With time on his hand, he decides to finish it.

Dear Mom and Dad,

When you last saw your son, he was sent to Blackstone Castle. He was a mortal among mages, suspicious of them and their magic. He believed the word of the Devoted and saw them as his enemies.

That man died when Blackstone Castle fell.

The man I am now is still your son, still very much alive and well as he is handsome. He is lacking and vulnerable in many ways, but he does his best to keep pushing forward. For himself, for his new-found family. He is still the son you raised so well, but a lot of things have changed since he left home.

I hope to tell you guys all about it in person soon.

Your son, Kim Seokjin

Thank you for reading ♡ Comments & reviews are greatly appreciated!

Previous | Series Masterlist | Next

[stiles-o-dylan24]

|| Jason x Aubree Marin || PLL Rewrite || TAGLIST ||  • AUBSON🎶 • SHIPS OF TGWP •

Season One

Chapter 1 - I'm Still Here

Chapter 2 - The Jenna Thing

Chapter 3 - To Kill a Mocking Girl

Chapter 4 - Can You Hear Me Now?

Chapter 5 - Reality Bites Me

Chapter 6 - There's No Place Like Homecoming

Chapter 7 - The Homecoming Hangover

Chapter 8 - Please, Do Talk About Me When I'm Gone

Chapter 9 - The Perfect Storm

Chapter 10 - Keep Your Friends Close

Chapter 11 - Moments Later

Chapter 12 - Salt Meets Wound

Chapter 13 - Know Your Frenemies

Chapter 14 - Careful What U Wish 4

Chapter 15 - If at First You Don't, Succeed, Lie, Lie Again

Chapter 16 - Je Suis Une Amie

Chapter 17 - The New Normal

Chapter 18 - The Badass Seed

Chapter 19 - A Person of Interest

Chapter 20 - Someone to Watch Over Me

Chapter 21 - Monsters in the End

Chapter 22 - For Whom the Bell Tolls

Season Two

Chapter 23 - It's Alive

Chapter 24 - The Goodbye Look

Chapter 25 - My Name Is Trouble

Chapter 26 - Blind Dates

Chapter 27 - The Devil You Know

Chapter 28 - Never Letting Go

Chapter 29 - Surface Tension

Chapter 30 - Save the Date

Chapter 31 - Surface Tension

Chapter 32 - Save the Date

Chapter 33 - Picture This

Chapter 34 - Touched by an 'A'-ngel

Chapter 35 - I Must Confess

Chapter 36 - Over My Dead Body

Chapter 37 - The First Secret

Chapter 38 - Through Many Dangers, Toils, and Snares

Chapter 39 - A Hot Piece of A

Chapter 40 - Let the Water Hold Me Down

Chapter 41 - Blond Leading the Blind

Chapter 42 - A Kiss Before Lying

Chapter 43 - The Naked Truth

Chapter 44 - CTRL:A

Chapter 45 - Breaking the Code

Chapter 46 - Father Knows Best

Chapter 47 - Eye of the Beholder

Chapter 48 - If These Dolls Could Talk

Chapter 49 - unmAsked

Season Three

Chapter 50 - It Happened 'That Night'

Chapter 51 - Blood Is the New Black

Chapter 52 - Kingdom of the Blind

Chapter 53 - Birds of a Feather

Chapter 54 - That Girl Is Poison

Chapter 55 - The Remains of the 'A'

Chapter 56 - Crazy

Chapter 57 - Stolen Kisses

Chapter 58 - The Kahn Game

Chapter 59 - What Lies Beneath

Chapter 60 - Single Fright Female

Chapter 61 - The Lady Killer

Chapter 62 - This Is a Dark Ride

Chapter 63 - She's Better Now

Chapter 64 - Mona-Mania

Chapter 65 - Misery Loves Company

Chapter 66 - Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Inferno

Chapter 67 - Dead to Me

Chapter 68 - What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted

Chapter 69 - Hot Water

Chapter 70 - Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Chapter 71 - Will the Circle Be Unbroken?

Chapter 72 - I'm Your Puppet

Chapter 73 - A Dangerous gAme

Season Four

Chapter 74 - A Is for A-l-i-v-e

Chapter 75 - Turn of the Shoe

Chapter 76 - Cat's Cradle

Chapter 77 - Face Time

Chapter 78 - Gamma Zeta Die!

Chapter 79 - Under the Gun

Chapter 80 - Crash and Burn, Girl!

Chapter 81 - The Guilty Girl's Handbook

Chapter 82 - Into the Deep

Chapter 83 - The Mirror Has Three Faces

Chapter 84 - Bring Down the Hoe

Chapter 85 - Now You See Me, Now You Don't

Chapter 86 - Grave New World

Chapter 87 - Who's in the Box?

Chapter 88 - Love ShAck, Baby

Chapter 89 - Close Encounters

Chapter 90 - Bite Your Tongue

Chapter 91 - Hot for Teacher

Chapter 92 - Shadow Play

Chapter 93 - Free Fall

Chapter 94 - She's Come Undone

Chapter 95 - Cover for Me

Chapter 96 - Unbridled

Chapter 97 - 'A' Is for Answers

Season Five

Chapter 98 - EscApe from New York

Chapter 99 - Whirly Girly

Chapter 100 - Surfing the Aftershocks

Chapter 101 - Thrown from the Ride

Chapter 102 - Miss Me x100

Chapter 103 - Run, Ali, Run

Chapter 104 - The Silence of E. Lamb

Chapter 105 - Scream for Me

Chapter 106 - March of Crimes

Chapter 107 - A Dark Ali

Chapter 108 - No One Here Can Love or Understand Me

Chapter 109 - Taking This One to the Grave

Chapter 110 - How the 'A' Stole Christmas

Chapter 111 - Through a Glass, Darkly

Chapter 112 - Fresh Meat

Chapter 113 - Over a Barrel

Chapter 114 - The Bin of Sin

Chapter 115 - Oh What Hard Luck Stories They All Hand Me

Chapter 116 - Out Damned Spot

Chapter 117 - Pretty Isn't the Point

Chapter 118 - Bloody Hell

Chapter 119 - To Plea or Not to Plea

Chapter 120 - The Melody Lingers On

Chapter 121 - I'm a Good Girl, I Am

Chapter 122 - Welcome to the Dollhouse

Season Six

Chapter 123 - Game On, Charles

Chapter 124 - Songs of Innocence

Chapter 125 - Songs of Experience

Chapter 126 - Don't Look Now

Chapter 127 - She's No Angel

Chapter 128 - No Stone Unturned

Chapter 129 - O Brother, Where Art Thou

Chapter 130 - FrAmed

Chapter 131 - Last Dance

Chapter 132 - Game Over, Charles

Chapter 133 - Of Late I Think of Rosewood

Chapter 134 - Charlotte's Web

Chapter 135 - The Gloves Are On

Chapter 136 - New Guys, New Lies

Chapter 137 - Do Not Disturb

Chapter 138 - Where Somebody Waits for Me

Chapter 139 - We've All Got Baggage

Chapter 140 - Burn This

Chapter 141 - Did You Miss Me?

Chapter 142 - Hush, Hush, Sweet Liars

Season Seven

Chapter 143 - Tick-Tock, Bitches

Chapter 144 - Bedlam

Chapter 145 - The Talented Mr. Rollins

Chapter 146 - Hit and Run, Run, Run

Chapter 147 - Along Comes Mary

Chapter 148 - Wanted: Dead or Alive

Chapter 149 - Original G'A'ngsters

Chapter 150 - Exes and OMGs

Chapter 151 - The Wrath of Kahn

Chapter 152 - The DArkest Knight

Chapter 153 - Playtime

Chapter 154 - These Boots Were Made for Stalking

Chapter 155 - Hold Your Piece

Chapter 156 - Power Play

Chapter 157 - In the Eye Abides the Heart

Chapter 158 - The Gloves That Rocks the Cradle

Chapter 159 - Driving Miss Crazy

Chapter 160 - Choose or Lose

Chapter 161 - Farewell, My Lovely

Chapter 162 - Till DeAth Do Us Part

[marmixedwithabitofintellect]

Chapter 5: High & Lows

A little update for you guys. Would love to hear your thoughts. All the love, Mar 🤍

April 14, 2022 – May 13, 2022: Month Five

April 15, 2022

Indio, California. 2:45 AM

I opened my eyes and sat up a little trying to understand where I currently was. The forest was dark, and not a single stream of light could be seen for miles and miles; all of a sudden, I had the urge to stand up and run, so I did. My heart was beating at about three thousand beats per minute as a ran, but whereto? I had no idea. I just knew I needed to find someone.

I continued to run for a little before I started screaming for help, yet the only thing I could hear was the echo of my voice until there was another sound that made me stop in my tracks; a cry, to be more specific the cry of a newborn baby, my newborn baby.

My motherly instincts took over and I started running again as fast as my legs would let me get to my baby, tears were running down my face and I realized that the faster I ran the more the trees started growing and the path was closing on me. Shit, this was not good.

I started to panic but was able to breathe better when I landed in a clearing, I let my hands rest on my knees while I took some deep breaths before my baby started crying again; I stood up straighter and started trying to figure out where the cry was coming from until I realized it was coming from everywhere at once.

And as I heard the cries get louder, the threes started closing up on me, I fell to my knees and continued to cry for help while I felt the air leave my lungs until-

“Baby!”, I gasped and sat up, out of the corner of my eye I could see Harry next to me, but before he could speak up I jumped out of bed and made my way to Pippa’s nursery; as soon as I opened the door and peaked into the crib, relief washed all over me, I made my way to the closet and slid down to the floor where I let out a muffled cry.

I could hear him come into the room and kneel before me, he ran his hands down my hair while I cried and tried to control my breathing, it was all a dream, Pippa was safe here with me, everything was okay, or was it? After a few moments, I turned to see Harry, worry written all over his face while he continued to run his hands down my hair and arms.

“Hey, everything is okay, you are safe baby”, I nodded and turned to kiss his hand; he smiled a little and stood up, he then offered me his hand so that I could stand up too, once we did, he kissed my temple while we made our way out of the nursery but not before I made sure to see Pippa once more before leaving.

“Want some tea?”, I nodded, he squeezed my hand, and we started making our way downstairs, once in the kitchen I sat down and he plugged in the electric kettle, plugged it in, and came to stand beside me.

He kissed my temple a few times and I reached around his waist in a hug; a few moments later the kettle started whistling and we broke apart while he poured the hot water into the two mugs waiting with their tea bag to be seeped.

Once he settled the mug in front of me, I started stirring it, I knew he was watching me, but I didn’t know if I was ready to speak yet. As if he was able to read my mind, he cleared his throat and quietly spoke, “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m here for you”.

I nodded and sniffled, once the tea sufficiently seeped, I took it out of the mug, took a sip, and placed it back down, my heart had slowed down and my breaths had settled, I cleared my throat and shakily whispered, “I had a nightmare, I was running through a forest and I could hear a baby crying but I couldn’t find them, so I was overcome with a panic attack and the trees started closing in on me”.

He squeezed my hand, which I don’t remember him grabbing, and kissed it three times, “Baby, she’s okay; she’s safe and she’s sleeping so close to us, yeah?”, I nodded, but there was still something bothering me, I squeezed his hand back, “Uhm, it wasn’t- it wasn’t Pippa crying; it was another cry, but I just knew it was my baby’s cry”.

He furrowed his brows in deep thought and before I could think it through, I blurted out, “I took a pregnancy test today”, I turned to look at him. His face had paled significantly, and his mouth was opening and closing trying so hard not to freak out, I spoke up to help him stop, “It was negative”.

He nodded and let out the breath he had been holding and reached for his tea and took a really big sip, once the cup was back on the table, he looked at me again, “What happened? How did you end up taking a test?”, I sighed, “It was all Glenne’s fault”, he chuckled and smiled, “What did GG do?”, I smiled a little and took the last sip of my tea before continuing with my story.

“The other day when she and Sarah came over, we were lounging near the pool, and she got the idea to make the stupid TikTok trend titled ‘Pregnancy Roulette’, which as the name entitles, we took a pregnancy test and then mixed them, so we didn’t know who took it and one of the tests came back positive.”

He nodded and took a sip of his tea and squeezed my hand, while I continued telling him what happened, “We were all so freaked out, Glenne and Jeff are still working out when they will have a baby, Sarah and Mitch decided to wait because of the tour, so deep down I wondered if it could be mine”.

“We asked Lucy if she could buy some tests for us and we took them again, and the three tests were negative”, I sighed, “We were relieved, but honestly and deep down, I was a little sad”, he kissed my temple, “Baby…”, I shrugged my shoulders and gave him a half smile, “Is it weird?”

He shook his head, “Not at all, is that what triggered your nightmare?”, I sniffled and nodded, “Yes, I don’t know, I’m happy H, I am really happy with our little family, and I don’t want for you to think that I am ungrateful for everything, but I’m not going to lie and say that the possibility of us having another baby didn’t excite me you know?”

Before he could speak up, there was a cry from the monitor, while he finished cleaning, I went into the nursery where Pippa was crying, “Oh baby come here”, I picked her up and kissed her cheeks, she then settled her head on my shoulder, we settled in the rocking chair, and I started feeding her while I pushed the chair.

He came in a few moments later and sat on the floor beside my legs, once Pippa finished eating I started burping her, Harry cleared his throat and spoke up, “My head has been all over the place since you told me about you taking the test, and just like you, I got a little excited”, we both chuckled a little, “But I feel like we need to work on some things before we think of having another baby don’t you?”

I nodded and kissed Pippa’s temple, “I know, and we also have a little one to spoil rotten huh?”, while he helped me pick up around the nursery a little, I burped changed, and got Pippa asleep again, we made sure the monitor was on and we left her nursery.

Once back in bed I cleared my throat, “Can we talk?”, he nodded and sat beside me, holding my hand, and started running his fingers down mine, which reassured me so much and I started talking, “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you as soon as you got home”, he furrowed his brows, “Baby, no, please don’t say that.”

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders, where he placed a kiss and then continued to talk, “It is no secret that I want to have more babies with you, heck I would love for us to have about ten you know?”, I chuckled, “but I think that we should maybe focus on us before thinking of any other baby hm? I don’t know, maybe get married?”

I pulled back a little with a surprised look, “You want to get married to me?”, he smiled and ran a hand down my face, “I would get married to you right now, in our pajamas, but I know that if we did, Miss Anne Twist would kill us, but before she does, Gemma Styles would make sure she gets custody of Pippa.”

I smiled and he kissed my lips before whispering against them, “We have a whole life in front of us, and I really cannot wait to live it with you and Pip and any other baby we welcome into our family”, I smiled and whispered, “I cannot wait either baby.”

April 15, 2022

Harry. Indio, California. 7:30 P.M.

I was shaking so badly; I couldn’t believe the day was finally here. It had been months of negotiations, doubts, rehearsals, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, but Coachella was here. However, there was a part of me missing; Pip had started getting sick again so we both decided that they both should stay back and let Pip rest, which involved a ton of tears from Y/N and a huge willpower from me not to cry in front of her.

After an emotional goodbye and a promise to call them once I was ready, I left the house and arrived at the festival, we had lunch, and we were now finishing getting ready to hit the stage. Ayae and Lamby had just finished getting me ready and left the camper so I could call Y/N and show her my outfit. I furrowed my brows when the Facetime call was sent to voicemail and tried again with no luck.

Before I could press her name again there was a knock on the door of the camper, I reached for my mask and when I opened the door tears started springing to my eyes, she was here with Pip strapped to her chest, “Surprise baby!”, I laughed and let her come in. we both removed our masks and I reached to pull her into a hug.

“What the hell are you doing here?”, she pulled back a little and kissed Pippa’s head, “We had to come and wish you good luck, I’m sorry we cannot stay for the whole show”, I shook my head and motioned for her to let me hold Pippa, “Baby the fact that you are here right now is more than enough, I was getting worried when you were not answering”, I kissed Pippa’s forehead, a little relief flooding me when I noticed that her fever went down since I had last seen her.

She laughed, “I was just walking in, if I answered the surprise would’ve been ruined baby”, I nodded and then did a little spin for her, “What do you think?”, she cleared her throat, “If there were no baby here right now I would have not minded helping you remove the outfit and dressing again, for fashion purposes, you know?”

I laughed and shook my head while pulling her by the waist and kissing her lips, “Don’t tease me bay, it’s not fair and a hard-on is not something I wanna be remembered by for my first Coachella performance”, she laughed and ran her hand down the back of my neck, “All jokes aside, I love it, baby, you look amazing”.

Before I could speak up the door to the trailer opened and when Jeff notice Y/HN and the baby he smiled before cheering a little, “Oh hello to my tiny boss and her mom!” We, we laughed and Y/N hugged him before turning to look at both Pippa and me, Jeff turned to look at her and asked, “Are you guys staying for the show?”, she shook her head, “We just came to give the superstar some good luck and love, I’ll be taking her home in a bit, although her fever has gone down, she is not feeling great yet”.

I pouted and continued to run my hand down Pip’s back, where she had cuddled in my chest, Jeff spoke up, “I’ll call you though”, she nodded, “I would like that Jeffie”, a few seconds later there was another knock and Sarah peeked into the camper, “We heard we have the visit of two very VIP guests! Can we come in?”, I smiled and nodded and the whole band came in.

As soon as Pippa saw Mitch she perked up a little and reached out for him, Mitch smiled and grabbed Pippa from my arms, he kissed her cheeks and started swaying with her, Jeff groaned and spoke up, “No fair, I do cartwheels for a smile and get none, but Guitar man here just shows up and she is all smiles”, we all laughed and Mitch gave him a pleased smile before speaking up, “She loves her godfather”.

Everyone turned to look at us, surprise written all over their faces, Y/N and I laughed before I spoke up, “Settle down you lot, we haven’t even chosen someone”, Jeff turned to look at Mitch, a victorious smile on his face before he turned to see Mitch, “The game is still on big boy”.

It was forty-five minutes later when Jeff cleared his throat, “I’m sorry to cut this party short, but we’re officially thirty minutes from showtime”, everyone said their goodbyes and Jeff let us know he would let the driver know Y/N and Pippa would be leaving shortly then exited the camper, I turned to look at my girls and gave them a sad smile, Y/N laughed and pulled me in for a kiss, “You’re gonna rock it, and we’ll be here with you”.

I laughed, “Are you going to shrink yourself so you’ll get in my pocket?”, she smiled and reached into her jacket and pulled out a Polaroid, I instantly recognized it as one we had taken back in the hospital when Pippa had been born, once she handed it to me, I kissed it and put it inside my bag before turning to peck her lips multiple times, “Come on, I’ll walk you out”, we both nodded and left the trailer.

I kissed her once more then Pippa’s head before she got settled in the golf cart with Glenne, who smiled and promised to be back in a bit, Jeff stood beside me and squeezed my shoulder, “They’ll be okay, and I’ll FaceTime her as soon as you hit the stage”, I nodded and then followed him to the stage for our pre-show ritual.

April 16, 2022

Harry. Indio, California. 2:45 A.M.

I waved Jeff’s van away and entered the house. The adrenaline was still running high. Coachella had been everything and more, especially with Shania there. After having a little dinner with her team, we all said our goodbyes and started making our way home. I was expecting Y/N to be dead asleep in our bed, however, that was not what I came home to.

I turned off the hallway lights she had left on for me as I made my way upstairs, I opened the door to the master bedroom but furrowed my brows when I noticed the bed was unmade but empty, the bathroom was closed but no light came out. I exited the room and made my way to the makeshift nursery.

When I opened the door, my eyes softened at the sight of my girls cuddling on the sofa, Pippa was sprawled on her chest, and she had her head tucked down with her lips resting in the baby’s head. It broke my heart, but I knew that if I left Y/N to sleep in that uncomfortable position she would regret it tomorrow.

I kneeled beside her and started running my hand down her arm hoping to gently wake her. A few moments later there was an intake of breath and after sleepily taking in her surroundings she gave me a small smile and ran her free hand down my face.

I turned to kiss her palm before whispering, “What are you doing here baby?”, she sighed, “She woke up crying and upset, after I fed her, we settled here and I didn’t want to move once she fell back asleep”, I nodded and kissed her palm once more, she whispered, “You were awesome baby, I’m so proud of you”

I smiled at her and motioned for her to hand me Pippa, “Go to bed my love, I wanna cuddle her for a bit, I’ll meet you there, yes?”, she nodded and placed a soft kiss on Pippa’s head before pulling me in for a deep kiss, once she left the nursery I settled in the bed with Pippa on my chest, “Sleep tight baby, I love you so dang much.”

April 23, 2022

Indio, California. 6:45 P.M.

The breeze and wind were wonderful as I laid down in the hammock to watch the sunset and finally read my book, which had been sitting on my side table from the moment we got there. I was so engrossed in the chapter when all of a sudden, a big shadow hid the sunset from me, when I turned up, I smiled, “Well hello mister”.

He smiled and reached down to kiss my lips, “Hi, what are you up to?”, I scooted over, and he sat down next to me, I cuddled him and smiled, “Just reading a little, how’s my girl?”, he ran his hand down my arm, “She’s good, Glenne is playing with her”, I nodded and closed my book, and we laid there for a few.

He suddenly cleared his throat and spoke up, “Hey, go get ready yeah? I have a surprise for you”, I sat up a little and gave him a questioning smile, “Yeah? What should I wear?”, he smiled, “Something comfortable, that will keep you warm”, I nodded and kissed his lips the got out of the hammock and went upstairs.

Thirty minutes later I finished my makeup while pumping some bottles for Glenne who would be babysitting Pippa for us with Jeff. Once downstairs Harry handed me the baby so I could say goodbye while running over her nighttime routine with Glenne.

Harry grabbed his keys, and I handed Pip to Glenne, who instantly started kissing her cheeks, Harry and I smiled before speaking up, “Thank you guys”, Jeff smiled, “Our pleasure, think it’s perfect time to start getting in some baby care practice huh?”, Glenne smiled and kissed his cheek.

Once in the car Harry turned on the radio and turned to see me, a big smirk on his face, “Wanna know where we’re going?”, I shook my head, “Surprise me baby”, he smiled and started driving, we stopped at In-N-Out the continued our drive until I saw the lights and smiled.

“You brought me to see Billie?”, he smiled and nodded, “It’s been a while since we went to a concert huh?”, I nodded and smiled. Once parked at the VIP lot we got out, I could hear the buzz of the crowd, we walked into the field and were directed to a reserved area.

Billie was an amazing performer, her set kept us all dancing and singing. When the opening notes of ‘Ocean Eyes’ started playing, he pulled me into his chest, crossed his arms over my chest, and started singing alongside Billie in my ear, I smiled and started rubbing my thumb over his hand.

Once the song was over, I turned over my shoulder to see him smiling at me, he kissed my forehead, I let out a yawn and tried to hide it, but failed miserably doing so, Harry laughed and whispered in my ear, “Shall we head home?”, I nodded, “Just make sure you send Billie some flowers as congratulations okay?”, he nodded.

Handoff with the Azoffs was a breeze, once we made sure Pip was still sleeping, we went back into our room and finished our night routine, once settled in bed I turned to kiss H’s chest and he smiled kissing my head, “Thank you, tonight was wonderful”, he smiled, “I’m so glad you had the best time, I love you”, I smiled and kissed his lips, “I love you too”.

April 27, 2022

London, England. 9:00 AM

Incessant knocks had me laughing and Harry rolling his eyes while walking to the main door, as soon as it clicked open there were cheers of happiness and excitement, Pippa was laying in her rocker while I finished setting the table.

“Come here baby, shall we go see your Nana and auntie?”, she smiled at me, and I kissed her cheeks before settling her in my arms, once we were out of the kitchen, we started making our way to the foyer where three pairs of eyes turned to see us, and a few teary smiles appeared.

Anne reached for Pip, and I handed her the baby, “Oh look at you my darling girl! You have gotten so big!”, Gemma took the chance to pull me into a hug while Anne was busy cuddling the baby, she then turned to look at me and pulled me into a side hug before kissing my head, “I’m sorry I so rudely dismissed you, darling.”

I laughed a little and gave her a little squeeze, “Please don’t apologize, I understand completely”, Gemma hugged my side and squeezed, I squeezed her back and she laughed a little, “God, I missed you! Is it too early to start trying to convince you guys to move here?”, Harry and I turned to look at each other with a little smile before I cleared my throat, “Well…”

Gemma and Anne turned to us, surprise written all over their faces, “What?!”, Harry smiled, “We’re looking at some options, we have a few appointments with a realtor lined up”, my mum squealed while she handed Gemma Pippa and came to hug us both, “Oh I cannot believe it! May I ask why? I thought you guys wanted to stay there?”

I smiled, “We want to raise Pippa away from the spotlight, we want for her to choose when and if she wants to show who she is to the world, we also want for her to be close to you guys, and we are also thinking about our family in the long run.”

Anne grinned and kissed Harry’s cheek, “I really can’t believe this! Oh, it will be wonderful to have you guys near”, we both smiled and then proceeded to lead the way to the dining room where we sat down to enjoy some lunch. We then moved to the living room to have some tea, Harry had just settled Pippa for her nap, and we were now catching up after our California trip.

Harry sat down next to me and kissed my temple before he snapped his finger and turned to see Gem, “Oh Gem! Before I forget, would you want to come with us to the location for the Daylight music video?”, she nodded and finished drinking her tea, “I would love to! At what time should I be here?”, he thought for a moment before answering here, “Maybe 8?”, Gem nodded again and we both smiled, “I’ll text you the details then.”

May 3, 2022

Harry. London, England. 9:00 AM

The coffee shop was pretty empty, which was understandable since it was a weekday morning, I smiled in appreciation when Jeff placed a mug in front of me, I took a sip of the black coffee while Jeff finished sitting down and let out a sigh before turning to look at me.

“So… what was so important that we had to meet in secrecy from everyone else?”, I sighed, took a sip of my coffee, and cleared my throat. It was now or never. “Uhm, well… there’s something I wanted to let you know”, he nodded, and I ran a hand down my face, “I have been thinking about me, Y/N, and Pip, especially my little girl and the type of life I want to give her”.

Jeff nodded and smiled, “So… uhm we have decided to move”, Jeff nodded and spoke up, “I mean I understand, like don’t get me wrong I love how cozy both of your apartments are, but I think that a new one will be good for you three”.

I ran a hand down my neck, “Well… actually, we uhm… we want to move here, well not here, but to Richmond”, Jeff sat there in utter silence, surprise written all over his face, “Well… I wasn’t expecting that”, he laughed a little, “Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting that, I would’ve thought you would move to LA or outside of LA.”

I laughed, “I mean… I love you and I love LA., but her safety and protection go first, their safety and protection go first”, he nodded, “I understand, heck we are living it right now, we haven’t been bothered and we’ve been here for a while”, he nodded and took a sip of his coffee.

I sighed, “It’s just… I cannot help but get anxious that someone will post her face on the internet, and the mere thought of not giving her that choice… it sickens me; at least here there is more protection and respect, privacy, and well there’s also the fact that we have family here, close by”, Jeff smiled, and I chuckled.

“I want to take her to the nursery, and I want to pick her up, I want to hear everything she did and learned while we walk down the park back home; I want to just randomly decide we want to visit mum and jump on the train to Cheshire; I want to take my girl on a date and not have to choose a restaurant based on the probability of someone disclosing my location. I just want to live a normal life to the extent of my possibilities and capacities.”

Jeff reached to squeeze my forearm and I ran my other hand down my face while I sighed, “I know… I know that work will be hard, recording and everything”, he interrupted me, “That can be arranged H, we can make it work, is that what is bothering you?”, I shook my head and turned to look at him, “No, uhm… I can’t help but think that this is a signal.”

Jeff furrowed his brows in question and I sighed, “Maybe… maybe it’s time to take a break and disappear for a while, write and produce when I feel the inspiration, enjoy Pippa, marry Y/N, heck maybe even add a new bay or two”, he looked at me in surprise, “I support you, and everything you want to do H, but I think that you need to discuss this situation with your partner; I mean, yes, it involves me as your manager, but your family should go first.”

I nodded and smiled in appreciation, “I know, I just needed someone to hear it”, he smiled, “That’s what friends are for H”, his phone rang, and we stood up, returning our mugs to the barista and thanking them once more, then got into the van on our way to our meeting. Just before we could get out of the car Jeff spoke up, and I turned to see him, “I trust you and your choices, and you will always count on me and have my support.”, I smiled in appreciation, and we started making our way into the building.

May 7, 2022

Sussex, England. 10:30 AM

I closed my book as soon as I heard the first whimper from the stroller, placing it inside my bag before standing up and remover the cover-up, I smiled at her sleepy face and rubbed her tummy, helping her wake up with ease, “Hello bug, how did you sleep huh?”

She stretched her limbs while yawning, “Oh look at you! That’s a big stretch huh? Did you enjoy your morning nap baby?”, once the sleep left her bleary eyes and she focused on me, her gummy smile made an appearance, which had me in a puddle of love for her.

I pulled her out of the stroller and placed multiple kisses on her cheeks while making my way to the small bed in the camper, “Let’s change your diaper, because you’re a stinky little monster”, once her diaper was changed and fastened, I blew some raspberries in her belly and she cackled, we were so close to getting a laugh, I knew it would come eventually.

Once Pippa was dressed again, I grabbed a blanket for her and the baby wrap and left the trailer to join Gem and H. I found Gem near the service station, and she smiled when she saw us and made grabby hands for Pippa, once the baby was in her arms, she kissed her cheeks, “Oh hello baby bestie! How was your nap huh?”

I took the opportunity to prepare myself a coffee and look around the set; Harry was filming a music video for Daylight and when he shared with me the concept for the music video, I knew he had nailed it, so here we were, at Santus Circus getting ready to shoot.

There was a buzz coming from the far-left side of the set, when I turned to try and see what happened I smiled when I saw Lamby coming my way, he had a big smile and opened his arms to hug me, I hugged him back and squeezed him before pulling back, he started looking around and furrowed his brows, “Where’s my P?”

I smiled, “Gem took her to the camper for a change of bib, she’s been drooling quite a bit and I had just prepared my coffee”, he nodded, and I took a sip before asking, “How is he?”, he grinned, “Oh you’re gonna love this outfit! He asked me to check on you guys while he is finishing getting ready before changing into his costume”, I smiled, “We’re good, we just wanna see him already!”

He chuckled and squeezed my upper arm, “Okay, okay! Let me go grab him”, as soon as he made his way back to Harry’s camper Gem arrived and handed me back Pippa, who was happily munching on her hand while I had her in a chair hold, Gemma took a sip of her coffee and sighed, “Five pounds he will come out wearing a clown outfit”.

I laughed, “Ten pounds he will be wearing some feathers”, she grinned and shook my hand, and we sat down on the chairs set up for us by the crew. It was about five minutes later when Lamby appeared and cleared his throat, “So… are we ready to see his outfit?”, we both nodded and stood up, then closed our eyes as we were instructed to do so.

A minute later someone cleared his throat, and we opened our eyes and laughed, he was standing in front of us wearing a yellow leotard with jewel appliqués and a pair of feathered yellow and black wings, Gemma was the first one to speak up, “Well hello there, Big Bird”.

Harry rolled his eyes and showed her his middle finger and made his way to us, I bounced Pippa a little and spoke up, “Look Pip! Who’s that’ is that your daddy?”, however, unlike what we were expecting, she pouted her tiny lips, and she started bawling her eyes out and trying to get away from Harry, who froze on his place and pouted his lips, while I settled Pippa back in my arms and started shushing her, Gemma didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry.

“Baby don’t cry, it’s just your daddy”, I turned to look at Harry and gave him a sympathetic smile, “H… I’m sorry”, he pouted and shook his head, “No, it’s okay; I’m bummed because I wanted a pic with her using this outfit”, Gemma ran a hand down his arm, “It’s okay Harry, maybe she just needs to get used to you using it huh?”, he nodded and turned to look at us again.

“Baby there are some seats over where we will be filming if you prefer?”, I nodded and then turned to look at Gemma who nodded in agreement and we followed him. While Harry filmed, we were busy discussing the books we have been both reading and our plans for the summer while H toured Europe.

Once the director yelled cut, he started making our way to us with caution, but this time Pippa smiled and reached out for her dad, which had him smiling and hurrying to pick her up and kiss her cheeks; the crew awed at the beautiful moment while Gemma pulled her phone out and took some photos for us.

The moment was cut short when Lamby pulled him for another change. I took the chance to go to the bathroom while Gemma and Harry stayed with Pippa; once I came back Harry had changed into a black ensemble that had me drooling for my man.

However, this drooling had changed into worry as soon as I saw Lamby handing Pippa to Harry, who was perched up on a horse, my hands started sweating and I ran to stand next to them, when Harry saw me, he gave me an apologetic smile, “Hi baby”, I shook my head and took a deep breath, “What the hell are you doing?” before he could speak up Gemma chuckled.

“Oh, dear brother you’re in trouble… had I known this was your plan the whole time I would’ve taken my bestie with me to grab her pacifier”, he turned to look at me sheepishly, “It’s safe I promise!”, my eyes were wide while y anxiety rolled around, “Harry! She’s five months old! She’s too tiny!”, he shook his head, “Baby, his owner is standing here, next to me, holding his reign! Bandito is a good boy.”

I let out a breath and walked to pet Bandito’s muzzle and smiled, “You are a good boy huh?”, I turned to see Gem taking some pictures of H and Pip, once she put the phone away, she placed her arm around my shoulder and squeezed, “They’re okay, he’s her dad”, I nodded, “I know, it’s just… I can’t believe she is old enough to be sat in a horse and look at her, she’s smiling so big! She’s becoming a big baby”.

She nodded and squeezed me, H called my name and I turned to look at them “Can we, uhm maybe go on a little walk? Only if you feel comfortable”, I gave him a small smile and nodded, “Just hold her good, okay? have fun baby!”, he nodded and sent a kiss my way before turning to see Pippa.

Once they were back, I reached for Pippa and kissed her cheeks while Harry got off the horse, Pippa let out a yawn and we both laughed, “Think it’s time to feed and a little nap huh?”, Harry nodded and kissed my forehead, then we turned to see Gem who smiled, “You take her, I’ll stay with H”, I nodded and hugged her, then let Harry kiss Pip and myself goodbye, “Let’s go, baby, how about some snuggles and some milk huh?”, she smiled and I laughed, “Yeah? You want that? Okay, come on baby”.

May 13, 2022

Harry. New York City, New York. 8.30 P.M

A voice over my shoulder had me stepping to the side, “Here Mr. Styles, let me take that out”, I smiled at Ray and shook my head, “Mate, the stroller is heavy, I’ll carry it”, he nodded and pushed the suitcases over to the elevator; once it was loaded, I turned to look at Ray, “I’ll take it from here mate, have a good night and say hello to the Missus and kids”, he smiled and waved, “You too Mr. Styles!”

I pushed the correct floor and the box started moving upwards; once it opened, I was met with Y/N who helped me pull everything out of the elevator. Once out I sighed and pulled her for a side hug, “Baby went down, okay?”

She nodded, “She was very tired, bless her”, we went into the kitchen and while I ordered some dinner, she started making some tea. I blocked my phone and smiled at her, grabbed my mug, and followed her into the living room, once we sat down, she took a sip of her tea, I could see she was not truly present and I ran my fingers down her cheek, “Hey, where are you huh?”

She smiled and leaned her head into my hand, “Sorry, I’ve just been thinking”, I nodded to encourage her, “While we were in London I went for a walk with Pippa, I visited a neighborhood and I saw a house, and H I kid you not, that was our house”, I smiled at her excitement.

“And well I searched it on the internet, and it happens to be in sale”, her smile was contagious, “Really? Well, you need to show me, and I’ll reach out to Victoria to see if we can maybe go see it once we’re back in London?”, she nodded and cuddled up to me before whispering, “Are we really doing this?”

I kissed her forehead and whispered, “We are, as long as you are sure it is what you want, there is no pressure for us to make any decisions”, she turned to look at me, “No, it’s’ not that, it’s just that never in my wildest dream would I have pictured our life the way it is now”, I smiled and kissed her lips before pulling back a little and whispering, “Neither would I baby, but I wouldn’t change it either.

Tag list @adoredeanna @alienorknight @b-reads-things @be-with-me-so-happily @behindmygreyeyes @cherrylovesblog @karenarella22 @daphnesutton @dayxoxodreamer @dirtytissuebox @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @goldenlouvr @groovychaosavenue @harrysficreblog @harryspirate @hoya122 @imaginesofdreams @i-got-the-cinema @infinitely-yellow @irelilien @itsgabbysblog @itsgigikay @itsmytimetoodream @jgoff717 @kathy522 @last-saturday-night @michellekstyles @msolbesg @sagcas-latte @shawnsblue @sunshinemoonsposts @tinydeskwriter @tinydestinybear @tpwkstyles1d @voosa @watercolorskyy @wherethehellhaveyoubeenharry

[thisisapaige]

Tagged by @mercurialkitty. Thanks! This was fun :-)

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 59

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 645,479

3. What fandoms do you write for? Just Supernatural. I have the brainworms and they are in the shape of Thee One and Only Castiel.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

stay, In Just Saying It, Non Solum, Still Waters Run Deep, Sleeping Together

5. Do you respond to comments? Most of them. I do get kind of overwhelmed (with love and joy) if someone comments on all the chapters as they read, so I'll often reply to their final comment. And if the comments are rude, I ignore them (doesn't happen often, but it has).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Thee fic that started it all: Empty Spaces. A bold choice for my first posting, lol. At least I wrote a sequel? :-P

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Something Blue. I wrapped that up with a bow. As a commenter wrote, "Holy happy ending, Batman!!!!!"

8. Do you get hate on fics? Mmmmm, not sure I'd call it hate but I did have a commenter who wasn't happy with the direction The Angel went in. Thankfully, they figured out the fic wasn't to their tastes and decided to leave halfway through.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yeah. It's fun to write but, whew, very difficult to edit, lol. As for what kind... somewhat-idealized- romantic-everyone-has-a-good-time-and-feels-their-feelings kind of smut, I think. Most of the time... Murder the World was a lot more angsty.

10. Do you write crossovers? Nah. I don't really have the fic bug for other fandoms.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yup! A couple in Russian and one in Chinese.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No. I don't know if I'd be able to. I don't think I'd be a very good partner :-P. I don't even like a beta to look at my stuff 'till the draft is done and I read it though a couple times.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? It's the DeanCas of it all.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? The Path of the Righteous Man (my reverse verse fic) is like, my white whale. I keep going back to it and never adding a single word. The block is strong on that one.

16. What are your writing strengths? Introspection and action. Both are sooooo fun.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue. UGH. Dialogue. How do people talk? Hell if I know.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Sure. My monolingual ass won't, though.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Posted? SPN. Written on loose leaf paper as a tiny child, which has been lost to the ages (thank goodness)? Final Fantasy VII.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is a mean, mean question. I cannot chose one! I cannot! So have a selection (answer subject to change in 30 seconds):

stay for being my fix it that allowed me to continue enjoying the show after that fiasco of an ending.

The Angel for being the fantasy epic I always wanted to write.

insi(de an)d outside for being some of my strongest writing.

Still Waters Run Deep for being my first bang and also because I have prints of the art reafre made and that still blows my mind.

Something Blue because it took me on a very personal journey (and also I just posted it so it's fresh in my mind).

I *could* probably post most of my fic, honesty. I like my stuff. I wrote them for me, after all.

Tagging: @angelcasendgame @hornystiel @wormstacheangel @bloodydeanwinchester if you so chose to participate!

[lavendertales]

Judas—Javier Peña x f!reader

Chapter 14 of the Unholy series

summary: Javier tells you everything about the loss of your father.

word count: 3k

A/N: ANGST. mentions of violence, injuries & guns.

gif: @300mirrors​ 

series masterlist | AO3 

The silence is deafening, not tranquil in the slightest. The more you look into Javier’s eyes, the more you struggle to see past the eyes of a traitor. You brawl and battle against the ugliest instincts in order to see the eyes of the man who has given you the best, most exciting years of your life, the man who has bewitched your body and heart alike.

You know you should be thinking rationally. That you know.

Yet your spirit bends at anger’s will, unable to stand back up and offer a proper resolution.

You don’t move, and neither does the gun pressed into Javier’s chest. He doesn’t move, either. Not on account of fear of the bullet.

He’s too afraid that one wrong move will drive you out of his life completely.

“Talk,” you murmur.

“Do you want to sit down?”

“You do the talking, I give the instructions.”

Javier complies, scarily easy too. He doesn’t sit down either; he merely leans against one of the desks and takes in a deep breath, avoiding your glare for now.

Turns out, reminiscing the worst thing you did to someone is no easy task and it can take quite the toll on anyone. His chest feels heavy, his mind a blur as he scrambles for each detail of that dreadful day, and all of his hopes of being with you utterly shattered.

“It was a day like any other,” he begins, voice husky, filled with instant regret. “I haven’t seen him before, just—so you know. He was another guy that needed to be taken down, a… name to scratch off a list.”

Hearing that makes you tremble and nearly spit out your disgust, right at Javier’s feet, but you refrain yourself from such malicious actions. Instead, your finger remains secure on the trigger, gun still pointing in his direction.

“I got to the office, Murphy walked in as well, and we went straight to Carrillo. We had a raid planned for that day, it was supposed to be at a local brothel. Carrillo handed me that mission. He and Murphy were going at a different location. It was me, and another three agents. Mateo, Diego and Raul. When we got there… it was an ambush. They knew we were coming, someone sold us out. There were four of Escobar’s men. There was Navigante, Quica, The Lion… and Michael.”

The sudden thought of your father in a whorehouse makes you sick to your very core. You make a face, unable to contain it, but quickly brush off the thought. Water under the bridge now, you think. After all, your mother had passed years before, and it’s not like she stuck around for either one of you.

“They scattered like rats immediately,” Javier continues, taking another deep breath in. “We went after them, shots were fired… and civilians got involved. It quickly turned into madness. They were shooting at random people on the street, making sure it was difficult for us to follow them without helping the others. But there was nothing we could do, they were dead by the first bullet. So we chased them for a while, but Navigante and the Lion got away. That left us with Quica and Michael. Those two were… madmen. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve never seen someone smile so widely while shooting and mutilating others.”

The word “mutilating” makes your skin crawl, and you’d hate to think that your father could possibly behave in such a twisted manner.

But you saw the file. You saw the pictures, the hard evidence displayed boldly in front of you, black and white on paper, indisputable. The pictures were, indeed, gruesome, and even reminiscing them is a heavy cross to bear.

“La Quica was the one who did most of that,” Javier seemingly puts your mind to rest with that sentence. “But your—Michael wasn’t that far behind. He—he enjoyed what he did. He had fun. He knew how to run and hide and to shoot. Quica was the one who took the first shot at us, and he got Raul right in the head. He dropped dead next to me. I kept shooting, trying to get one of them, either one of them. I knew at that point that they had to be killed. They left a trail of bloody corpses behind them and had no remorse about it. No shame, no guilt… there was nothing but happiness on their faces.”

The tragic part is that you can vividly portray those images, despite the hatred that you carry for the notion that your father was a notorious killer embarked on Pablo Escobar’s service. It seems like such a cruel sentence, to be able to portray a bloodbath of those proportions when you haven’t been present to witness it firsthand.

Perhaps on a deeper level, you acknowledge that your father could be capable of such atrocities. And it’s undoubtedly scary.

“I got Quica in the shoulder,” you hear next. “”Not much, but at least it got him to stop for a while. Then it was Michael. The moment Mateo took a breather to recharge the gun, he was a goner. Michael took the shot, killed him in a second. It was just me and Diego left, and Quica was back to back with Michael, shooting again like a fucking lunatic. Diego asked me what to do. He was following my orders, and I was following Carrillo’s. We were supposed to bring the most important faces for a confession, and Quica was one of them. Michael wasn’t. So I told him—“

Javier hesitates. He sees your face, drained of all color and emptied of any other facial expression but coldness, and he gulps. Your hand holding the gun doesn’t waiver, not even for a moment.

“Go on,” you tell him. “Say it.”

Javier is clever enough to know you won’t shoot him. You need to take control of whatever you can, to intimidate and show that you mean business, and if that’s how you need to proceed, then he will let you. He will not fight you.

Instead, he breaks for you; the sight wrecks him in the nastiest, most painful way. He wills himself to go on like you had asked him to.

“I told Diego to—take the shot. I told him that I’ll get Quica, and if he gets the chance to get Michael… he should.”

Silence installs itself in between you two again, more asphyxiating and crumbling than when you began. You review every word, imagine how it all went down, over and over again, and your eyes meet Javier’s for what feels the first time in months.

“And?” you demand.

Your voice is hollow, and it eats Javier alive to hear it so.

“And… he did,” he confirms. “He took the shot. He killed him.”

“At your order.”

“At my order.”

“And after?”

“La Quica shot Diego in retaliation, then ran, scared shitless. I called dispatch to let them know about the agents, got to the embassy in bloody clothes, signed the report about the failed mission, and… went home.”

This time, you purposely stare at him. You picture an exhausted Javier driving through the bloody streets of Medellin, his clothes stained with the blood of his colleagues—and who knows what else—and, to your surprise, you feel for him.

“What did you do then?” you ask.

Though surprised at the question, Javier gulps, trying to recollect his thoughts as he thinks back on the end of that day. He has a suspicion regarding your expectations as to what his past time activities were, but there’s no more harsh truth to be exposed.

“I took a shower. It didn’t wash away anything from that day. I lit a cigarette, drank half a bottle of whiskey, and stared out the window well into the night. I stared at Medellin at night, listening to the wind, the shouting, the happy screams like there was this… massive win to be celebrated. But the truth is, that day was just the tip of the iceberg. It would be one of the many bad days to follow.”

It’s somewhat impressive that your hand didn’t cramp up yet; you’ve been pointing that gun at him for over half an hour, and you are still going strong.

“Do you think he deserved it?” you ask out of the blue.

Javier stares at you bewildered, uncertain if he wants to respond to that question.

Though how could he possibly upset you even more?

“What are you asking me?” he says, tone unstable, much like himself.

“I am asking you if you think he deserved what he got,” you clarify. That’s when you pull back, crossing your arms at your chest as you tower slightly over Javier. “Do you think my father deserved to die? It’s a simple yes or no.”

Except it’s not. Not really.

Javier coos your name, his mental state in a worse shape now. But he knows you, inside out; the answer he has in his heart is the one you have as well, and he knows that. He knows you can’t help but rationalize everything, even this moment, even the grimmest moment of your life. You’ve always placed duty above personal gain.

And duty will win again.

“He was cruel and manic,” he replies. “He killed children. In broad daylight.”

“Yes or no, Javier.”

The way you pronounce his name, emptied of any emotion and yearning behind it, it both brings him back to life and kills him simultaneously.

“Yes,” he finally answers.

Your facial expression doesn’t change. The glare you exchange with him seems to be that of an underlying agreement, one that he isn’t part of. He notices that you seem less angry, though he fails to understand how or why. He’s worried again, terrified of the damage he’d unknowingly caused between you two.

“Okay,” you respond after a while. “Thank you.”

Javier doesn’t like that; the simple, cold way you send those thanks sends shivers down his spine, and he lowers his head into the ground again. He knows he’s truly fucked up and, in spite of your search for the truth and desire to keep things rational, you won’t ever forgive him.

What is rational, after all? Rational would’ve been if he had told you how he felt back in college. Rational would’ve been to tell you now, and drop the stupid rivalry act. Maybe it would’ve spared you of having to hide those shamefully pleasurable acts, and you could’ve actually enjoyed them properly, in a bed, intimate and cozy together.

There’s nothing but an ice cold distance between you two now, a broken road that’s suffered too much damage to be repaired.

The sudden callout of your name makes Javier’s head turn, but not yours.

“What are you doing here?” Claudia chimes in. “What’s going on?”

She remarks the gun you’re holding in one of your hands, the head still pointed in Javier’s direction, and fearfully approaches you both.

“Thank you for your honesty,” you continue, “and thank you—for making me an orphan.”

It hurts like a motherfucker, but Javier understands it. He knows you want it to hurt, to hurt badly like it did you, and not because you didn’t hear a word from what he said. But because you did. He knows that you’ve probably accepted the truth about your father, but that you also cannot forgive him for the crimes he committed.

Just as you probably won’t forgive Javier for giving out that order, even if you acknowledge the fact that it was justified and well-intended.

“What is going on here?” Claudia pushes, now in your vicinity.

“Nothing,” you say, strapping the gun to your belt again. “Just a conversation.”

“I take it you’re back at work?”

“No. I don’t know if I’ll return.”

No “yet” or “just”. Somehow, that sentence hurts Javier more than what you told him last. The idea that he drove you away from your job, your career, your passion and from him, subsequently, is more than he can live with. He didn’t even get the chance to be happy upon seeing you back in the office, unharmed by Escobar.

Looks like neither of you gets their shot at happiness.

“If you’re telling me you’re quitting—“Claudia begins, but you are quick to interrupt.

“I’m still on indefinite hiatus, ma’am.”

“That personal affair hit you hard, I take it. I’m sorry.”

You glance at Javier, regret exuding from your pupils and your whole body. “So am I.”

“Take all the time you need,” Claudia adds.

You walk away, fighting the tears that sting your eyes and the ache in your heart. You can’t wait to get home, allow yourself to feel everything that’s been weighing down so heavily on you.

“Peña. A word.”

Defeated, Javier does a never-before seen version of the walk of shame all the way to his boss, eyes lowered in shame into the ground.

“What the hell is going on?” Claudia asks.

“Nothing.”

“I got two of my finest agents on the sideline, one sulking in this very office and the other on an indefinite break, potentially leaving the DEA altogether, instead of going after Pablo Escobar. The goal they’ve been working towards for the past three years. One can only assume the two elements are related.”

“There’s not—“

“And before you decide on how to lie to me, I did not get to be in this position by not picking up on social cues.”

Javier inhales, pretending to weigh in on his options. For him, there is only one: do not reveal anything to the DEA’s chief. His private life is private for a reason. Although, in the past year, things had clearly gotten out of hand.

“Is there something else going on between you two?” she asks.

Javier doesn’t offer any verbal response; instead, he looks at Claudia with an incredibly guilty look in his eyes, one that suggests don’t you dare ask me anything else about this or I might lose it completely.

Claudia huffs, quite loudly, staring at the empty office they are in, taking in the image before looking back at the disheveled man in front of her.

“I do not need to know… everything,” she says, voice a little rigid. “But I can understand it there being something more going on.”

Javier remains silent still. He cannot bring himself to look into his boss’ eyes, not when she’s referencing the most private thing in his life.

“I do want to ask you a question, since we’re on this topic, Peña.”

The silence makes Javier hear his own heartbeat thrumming in his ears; the thump, thump, thump of a man on the verge of a breakdown.

“Whatever is going on… is it worth missing out on catching Pablo Escobar? Is she worth missing the biggest achievement in your career?”

“She is.”

Without missing another heartbeat.

“Or I thought she was. Hoped. I don’t know.”

Unable to resist the impulse to comfort, Claudia approaches Javier and gently pats him on the shoulder, smiling politely.

“Give her some time,” she advises.

“I don’t think time will heal in this case, boss.”

“Give it time. Trust me.”

While he’s definitely not a fan of discussing elements of his personal life—or lack thereof—with anyone, much less with his boss, the alternative, thinking of how the team is handling Escobar, isn’t such a treat either. At least in talking about you, he gets to think of you, to remember the times you’ve shared together, as sinful and forbidden they felt at the time.

God, he misses you. He misses having you nearby, the scent of your perfume, that soft, moldable skin of yours, your full lips, the fiery way you’d stare him down and the moans you let out as he slid inside you, always with ease, like you were—

Like you were made for him.

“How can you be sure time will help?” he asks.

“As I told you before, you don’t get to be in this position without being good with social cues of any kind. I know what attraction, what love looks like. I’ve seen it in her eyes.”

Javier’s eyes widen upon hearing the piece of information. “What?”

Claudia chuckles. “Peña, I am well aware of the fact that you have—quite a reputation around here, particularly among the few women at the embassy. But I’ve never seen you miss being in the middle of the action, let alone for a woman. I know what caring for someone looks like, and this is it. That kind of love doesn’t just go away. So… give it some time.”

The moment vanishes as swiftly as it had begun. Javier feels like he’d been talking to an old friend rather than an official representative of America. Which somehow makes the moment slightly more awkward as the realization dawns on him.

“Thank you,” he quickly says before rushing out the office.

He can’t stay there. He cannot keep waiting around. He needs distraction. And alcohol won’t do it this time.

He makes the call from the car. Anxiety cruises through his veins as he tells Gabriella to meet him at his place. Deep down, in the huge pit of his stomach, he feels retched for even thinking about it, and even more so for going through with it. But he can’t have you. He will probably never have you again, so why pretend otherwise? And there is nothing wrong about seeking solace in the arms of someone. Especially since you two were never an item, and by the looks of it, never will be.

He’s no good at being a boyfriend, or more. He’s good at fucking, and that’s what he will do tonight. Needy, rough and depraved. Just the way he likes it.

Just the way she likes it.

Stop. Don’t think about anything else but Gabriella. You need this.

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