#Chronic illness sucks

[bamsara]

I *may* have to take like a week or so away from online because (1) body recovery and not doing well and (2) patreon envalopes and monty pins the focus when im not in pain but i get like a handful done before i have to sit down and breath for 20 minutes and it takes so much longer i have like no time to write or art stream

but i dont want to >:( i wanna draw and write

[thatonebirdwrites]

To all my readers of my stories, I'm sorry. I really am trying to write and edit so I can get the remaining chapters up for you.

But I've been so damn sick this month, that most days I'm lying down wishing I could be unconscious a little bit longer because the pain is so bad, and my dissociation is rampant.

Quark then comes to lay on me and provide his loving purrs to try to heal me faster. Poor little guy is trying so hard. But alas, this chronic illness flare-up has me by the throat.

I just want to go back to writing and editing with only mild pain and flare-ups. Not entire body feels like it's been run over by a truck flare-up.

Anyway, in case you wondered why it's taking me so long. I want to make sure I edit things well. So snail pace is where I am energy-health-wise sadly enough.

Enjoy the picture of Quark on my lap as I nap.

P.S. Okay, edited to add, this flare-up started before the disability hearing after I got hurtful news out of nowhere. My disability hearing happened a few days after that and wiped me out for a week. I couldn't get out of bed, so couldn't do basic tasks, and so I had to ask friends for help as the caretaker services were failing to find a cleaner to assist. (The caretaker services also keep giving me bad advice.) I thought I was getting better mid-August, only for last week and part of this week to be a nightmare of pain, dissociation, and hazy fog.

There's just isn't much my doctors can do. The meds I'm on help marginally I suppose. It's frustrating though how a few irritatingly persistent people keep giving me shitty advice to "exercise." Except exercising with LongCovid or Chronic Fatigue/M.E. is incredibly dangerous and can worsen your condition severely. This is because part of the biology of this disease negatively impacts how our body burns energy and uses energy. And so I just smile and nod, while I wish people would stop saying that to me. If I could get up and exercise, return to biking often, I would do it. I miss it. But i can't.

This illness has ripped it from me, and I'm left with … only writing, art, and if I feel well enough I can sometimes play an instrument for five or ten minutes. Even writing and art is in short spurts. 30 minutes, then rest for an hour. Rinse and repeat. The grief of this is so real, and there's tens of millions in similar positions. It sucks so much.

Anyway, um, that's my rant of the year. I'm going to pass out now.

[aditheursula]

I should never say "I'm going to do another stream this afternoon" because then the joints in my body hear that and go, "I think the fuck not you trick ass bitch!"

My joints are so inflamed. I just want to sleep.

[booksflowersmoonwings]

you ever get sick and tired of thinking about how sick and tired you are of being sick and tired?

anyone have cute art of asra (the arcana), shino (naruto), or john doe (uncanny valley game) they feel like sharing?

or gush about something cool they just finished creating?

I dunno could use some. goodness.

[underhanded-lamb]

What's up art demons, it's me

ya boi

Y'all I can't tell you how many times I said I'd join Art Fight just to wuss out, this year I'm making the jump and just doing it because cringe is dead live your dreams kids.

I included a little brief description of of my OC's in their Art Fight profiles so you can get more context (except Mede just know they are a bastard)

come fight me nerds

[asnakewithwingsisadragon]

Very depressed because we had to miss Pride due to medical reasons. Legit want to cry right now.

[phenakistoskope]

i love how i can't afford to attend the universities i write A+ papers for every week

[robinsnest2111]

alice cooper and mick mars have stoked my gender/outfit envy so much that I want to see if i cannot find one or two pairs of skintight leggings or something with risqué lacing details once I'm near the goth shop again...

[jewelmania21]

One of my many chronic conditions involves eye issues, I literally just did a “Field of Vision” test,, the eye that’s currently blurry and difficult is soooo stressful because I could feel the panic building in me. I think I flunked lmao

I felt similarly when I was tested for ADHD and everything with that, where I was so sad and stressed because I KNEW I was getting the right answers for me… But I also know that I didn’t perform as if my eye was actively working…

Geezums… the machine LITERALLY makes a noise right when the little light will flash in your peripheral vision and I fucking could SEE ANYTHING.

[authorstellarainbow]

i need a friend who understands what it feels like to do one task in the morning and then feel tired AF from it for the rest of the day

[aditheursula]

Late night stream??

Maybe a late night stream of some sort?

Maybe. For right now I need to prop my legs up on pillows and relax until sleep hits.

[mxbearbutch]

Sometimes I really wish I could do more. Yes in generaly but also sex wise, I have CFS so I'm tired almost all day and like, sex takes me a good 1 hours sleep to recover (depending on how rough lol).

But I want to say as a good thing, writing and everything, and now that I'm back on twt, gives me a bit back. It's so good imagining and writing/reading the things I want to do even when sometimes I can physically not.

[echothelover]

funny how you can go years being lonely and be perfectly fine until you let yourself think the words "I am lonely" and it suddenly becomes an unbearable weight pressing down on you at all times

[the-crimson]

Waaa I’m so tired and in pain but I wanna stay until the end of bbh’s stream send help waaaaaaa

[nocinovae]

I keep longing after my creativity aimlessly with no inspiration. I feel so lost and numb

[anotherobsessedsomething]

Everywhere they are saying this weekend is gonna be the last warm summer weekend of the year and I am stuck in bed having to rest - thanks for nothing 😔