#Cockles Appreciation Series

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

the cockles masterlist, part 6

now split in SIX parts for link limit reasons

WARNING: this post glitches and crashes on mobile. it’s recommended you view this on your desktop, or at least on your mobile browser rather than the app. if my desktop theme is hard on your eyes, try an extension such as Just Read or Reader View to customize the layout and colors.

if you’re still having trouble viewing, or if you don’t want to have to switch between the five posts, here’s all of the links compiled into a google doc.

welcome to the cockles masterpost, a labor of love/insomniac hyperfixation.

i recently wrote this cockles manifesto, but after it got a lot of notes and i kept adding more links to it, i decided i should just go through my 8 years of archives and compile all the cockles posts in a much more accessible and navigable way. after everything with the series finale and destielgate, i figured we could use some happiness, and it turns out there are a lot of people who’ve never heard the cockles gospel.

important disclaimer: yes, i do think that jensen and misha have a private romantic/sexual relationship, but no i do not, in any way, think that they have ever cheated on their wives. we think they are polyamorous, which is a real and valid thing, and misha is openly poly. some people love more than one person, and that’s okay. their families are close and we love and support all of them.

second important disclaimer: despite the amount of innuendo below, this is not about fantasizing about two hot guys fucking. cockles is about the joy of witnessing two people who love each other and make each other happy and are disgustingly cute together. we’re not fetishizing, we’re just appreciating what they publicly share with us.

third important disclaimer: because some of y’all don’t know, the cardinal rule of cockles is that we don’t talk to cockles about cockles. DO NOT leave any comments on their social media accounts implying anything. not even green and blue hearts. they know that we know, but it’s on us not to make it weird. if we’re too obvious and say too much, they might start sharing less. don’t say anything.

for the sake of my sanity, these are in no particular order.

last updated: 3/8/23

🐚 denotes new content

part 1 (That’s Suspicious, mishananigans)

part 2 (#pray4jensen, gag reel hijinks, some posts i’ve written about cockles and rps)

part 3 (know your cockles history, the intimacy)

part 4 (the glory of jibcon)

part 5 (just for cute)

the glory of jibcon continued:

jib11 opening ceremony whispers and giggles

jensen turning his back as misha walks up to hug him | more gifs | video

"just swallow it" "he's always giving that advice" | video

"[danneel] does refer to misha as her boyfriend. which is funny, because so do i." | more gifs | video | fan discussion of this moment

misha sitting on the floor to watch jensen sing, jensen getting shy

jensen serenading misha with "angeles" | video angle 1 | video angle 2 | video of jensen looking at misha, getting flustered, and stopping suddenly | more gifs | photo | misha sitting on the floor watching | another misha photo | the significance of ‘angeles’

"i think you look nice and dapper" ... "then [jensen] went in for a kiss and i was like, whoa!" "hey, when in rome!"

the destiel song they improvised together | video | gifs minus lyrics

big dad angry machine

"i've been haunted by those bear underwear for some time"

jensen "woo!"ing when misha mentions gotham knights

jensen's face going soft when he looks from jared to misha | video

after misha says a unicorn toy is vibrating "for her pleasure", jensen pretends to sit on it | gif

misha moves his chair further away, jensen scoots his closer | video | “what are we doing? am i coming over?”

jensen spinning the wheel then staring at misha for ten seconds straight | video | photos

jensen tells everyone to stop cheering for misha to sing after misha makes it clear he doesn't want to | gifs + bonus “there goes jared with his job security” 👀

jensen winking at misha

jensen saying he's going to plan a big birthday party for misha's 50th, which is more than a year away | video

"you're my canary" | video

whispers and laughing (feat. misha's missing tooth) | photos

"i love those dishes" "you love those bitches??"

misha hyping jensen's new album | video

"my caretaker tells me i had a very nice birthday."

jensen staring at misha’s ass when he bends over

"this is our song"

roasting jared for bragging sam is tougher than dean | gifs

jensen staring at misha before making a birthday wish

riffing on “the european version of spn”: one, two, three, four

chatting about taking their families to amusement parks, jensen refers to misha as ‘daddy’

jensen’s nickname kink in full swing at jib11

12 years of jibcon secrets

head-leaning selfie with briana buckmaster | edit

2023 jibcon11 tag



just for cute (continued):

adorable photo ops: 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92   93 94

2012 spn wrap party photo

300th episode red carpet flirting

"misha decided jensen was the gift" photo op

hand measuring photo op

[waitmyturtles]

Last Twilight, episode 1: reflections

TW: suicide

ALLLLLLLLRIGHT! Aof Noppharnach began our year with Moonlight Chicken; interjected it with Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars, and bookends it with Last Twilight. I've got my cha yen ready (not too sweet), here we go, Last Twilight, episode 1.

Some quick notes on random stuff first, then themes I'm picking up on:

1) Yes, we had to have Doc Jimmy start a new series with a new fight, huh (and always in these bowling shirt/jackets, too)

2) Ajahn Pichai with the gold chain, sheeeet! (Listen. It's my OGMMTVC Bad Buddy Meta Month. Just about everyone working on this show on the screenwriting and directing team are BBS alums. The comparisons will be unavoidable!)

3) Why do I know Sea Tawinan? It’s not because I watched Vice Versa (I stayed away), but because he was great in a small role in 55:15 Never Too Late, AND, more importantly, homeboy wore an off-shoulder Fendi sweater WITH a blazer (CLAP EMOJIS) to some GMMTV event, which warmed my couture cockles. Much respect for the taste! (Poor @lurkingshan has had to literally hear about my fashion obsession with this get-up MULTIPLE TIMES, sorry Shan, palms together!)

4) Of the few episodes of Midnight Museum and UMG that I watched earlier this year, I was not impressed with Namtan Tipnaree, but I appreciate that she's starting off quite strong and moodily here. (Also, UMG's script did literally no human being any justice.)

@twig-tea has gathered the ragged and burnt out (oh, is that just me, lmao) Ephemerality Squad from the Only Friends meta circle to join them in a Last Twilight Liminality.... what should we call ourselves, the Liminality League? The Liminality Legion? Someone choose! Anyway, I am super down, and ready to start chewing on some themes. Twig captured the big theme of liminality, of time purgatory, and I totally agree with what you've gotten down in your post, Twig.

In the preview episode for this series, Before Last Twilight, we learn that Day has 180 days -- six months -- of vision left. At the same time, Mhok has 180 days -- six months -- to earn enough money to buy back his late sister's car.

In addition to liminality/time purgatory (this is only my coinage, btw, a way in which I can understand the moment in life this show is capturing), we clearly have a theme of cars and movement. Mhok is a mechanic. He wants to keep his late sister's car. The Bimmer that Night is driving is Day's car. Mhok has to get Day home on the back of a motorcycle as Night had to drive away while Day was wandering in the middle of the road. A car can move backwards only very temporarily, and will HAVE to move forwards at any point in time in order to get to another location (..... unless you're a driver from New Jersey, ayooo!). The car belonging to the late Rung is very much in purgatory at the moment.

We have a theme of sibling rivalry between Day and Night. Day was the success of the family, knows it, and hangs it over Night's head. And we have a theme of opposites. Day, Night, blind, seeing. I can play badminton, I cannot play badminton.

(BY THE WAY! We know we'll be reading more into badminton, AND in the rivalry of Day and Night, AND in the rivalry of Sea and Mark in this series, yes? Mark Pakin and Sea Tawinan are both national-level Thai badminton players who chose acting as their careers. They're facing off in some GMMTV BL sports tournament at the end of the year. I hope it's slightly aggressive! In Before Last Twilight, Sea actually made reference to his rivalry with Mark. Ooooh, TESTY!)

While I'm watching closely the tension between Day and Night, I'm also watching for the stress and pressure that caring for Day will put on Mhok, as well as Night and his and Day's mother. As many of us are watching Last Twilight very closely for accuracy and authenticity in reflecting the experience of a disabled person in an unaccommodating environment; I'm also looking to this show to hopefully capture stories of caregiver stress, which is an incredibly real and important phenomenon (relevant articles here and here).

As I always, always harken to in my posts: behavioral change is very real, and very difficult -- especially when behavioral change is forced upon an individual AND/OR a group, all of which contain very different emotional constructions. Day and Night's forced behavioral change, based on Day's vision condition, has very naturally and automatically caused stress in the group dynamic of Day's family system, as we saw in the outburst in Day's car. I wonder how Mhok will deal with that stress, and how he'll manage his own stress vis à vis caring for Day.

Last theme for now, and then some concluding thoughts. Mhok's emotional distance from his sister's suicide. He can't bring himself to connect with it directly.

I'm eating this up. It's certainly Mhok's way of grieving at the moment. He's also talking with his ex-girlfriend in both of these scenes. There's emotional space between him and Rung, between him and Porjai. And certainly there's simmering and unresolved anger as well -- honestly, the whole emotional circle. But Mhok, at this point, is not toeing the line of getting close to those emotions, and is engaging with the memory of his sister with distance, which is bound to be addressed vis à vis his connection with Day.

There's a lot of anger, a lot of regret, a lot of avoidance, a lot of dancing around the honest truth. Mhok and Day are likely conduits of emotional openness and steadiness to each other; we will see how it plays out.

What do I think of JimmySea? I'm not you're average Wai hater -- I really liked Jimmy as Wai in Bad Buddy. Because I didn't watch Vice Versa, I honestly don't know what I think about him in a lead role. So I am going in REAL fresh, knowing nothing about JimmySea's chemistry, and I like what I'm seeing so far, particularly with Jimmy's emotional control. I appreciate having seen a bit of the work they did together in Before Last Twilight to get to this series premiere.

Aof has done this before: he's recognized potential in pairings (specifically in Dark Blue Kiss with TayNew and Still 2gether with BrightWin) to come up with fabulous shows. So I have trust that he knows what he's doing with JimmySea. Let's see. I really like this so far, but Only Friends did indeed burn me out to a crisp, so I'm allowing myself the slightest touch of hesitancy as I get into a new and big GMMTV show.

[dduane]

Ludwig Bemelmans' NY Oyster Bar Shellfish Pan Roast Recipe

I love Ludwig Bemelmans for many reasons that usually have more to do with writing and his challenging career arc than with food (more details here). But this post's about the food, and a specific favorite recipe.

In his collection of "slice-of-culinary-life" writings La Bonne Table,  Bemelmans passes on a bit of info that many New Yorkers, or visitors to the city, would be glad to have: the original recipe for one version of the famous shellfish pan roast served at Grand Central Terminal's venerable Oyster Bar and Restaurant (a venue much appreciated by the cats in the Feline Wizardry series, as well as by the series's author, who ate there as often as she could afford to while living and working in Manhattan).

So here's the image of the page in La Bonne Table where the recipe/method appears, and a transcription of the method. Bemelmans gives the version for the clam pan roast. For an oyster panroast like the one in the header image, I just substitute canned oysters and enough fish stock or consommé to equal the amount of clam broth Bemelmans quotes. All kinds of shellfish work brilliantly in this (and if you're actually in the Oyster Bar some time and feel inclined toward this dish, you might like to order the combination one, which has a little bit of everything). I've broken up the original block of his text for readability's sake: may his kindly shade forgive me.

We went to rake for cockles, which are like our clams, except for their globular structure, and they taste like Little Necks. I gave the hostess a recipe, which I found in Grand Central Station's sea-food bar, where a Greek chef who makes it wrote it down for me and showed me how it's made. It is one of the best things to eat, simple to make-- in fact, nobody can go wrong. It's a meal in itself, and it costs very little.

You need paprika, chili sauce, sherry wine; also celery salt, Worcestershire sauce, butter according to your taste, and clams. I use cherrystones, which are washed and brushed, and then placed in a deep pan with their own liquid. For each portion of eight, add one pat of butter, a tablespoon of chili sauce, 1/2 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, a few drops of lemon juice and 1/2 cup of clam broth. Add a dash of celery salt and paprika.

Stir all this over a low fire for three minutes. Then add four ounces of light cream or heavy cream, according to your taste, and one ounce of sherry wine, and keep stirring. When it comes to the boiling point, pour it over dry toast in individual bowls. Add a pat of butter and a dash of paprika and it is ready to serve.

If you have made too much of it, put the remainder in a container in your refrigerator. It will be as good, warmed up, a week or a month* later. It's called Clam Pan Roast, if you ever want to order it at Grand Central Station's Oyster Bar. I understand the recipe originally came from Maine.

*I love his enthusiasm here, but frankly I wouldn't leave this in the fridge for any month. A few days maybe. (Though it must be said, I couldn't leave it alone that long anyway. It's really good.)

[bylightofdawn]

Dear Star Wars Fans

It's Hot Take time with El.

I am sooooooo fucking sick of seeing these "Weh, Star Wars sucks now posts" or "Disney keeps putting out the bad stuff and is RUINING MY CHILDHOOD" posts.

It's legitimately like I'm being transported back to the '90s/early 2000s forums where endless fanboys were whinging over Lucus ruining Star Wars with the prequels. And BTW, they have not stopped in the past 20 years. They will continue to be pedantic and toxic and generally pessimistic about everything.

So to come to Tumblr and see that same mentality being shoveled about like three pounds of horseshit that cross my dash at least once a day. And well, I'm grumpy enough this afternoon to go off.

Hot Take Point One: Just because YOU don't like a show or a series doesn't mean your opinion is the majority. There is someone out there who loves the season you're proclaiming is the worst thing ever. That character you detest is someone's special blorbo and the ship you despise is someone's OTP. And that is okay; their tastes are entirely valid, and your experience is not universal. You are not a peerless bastion of flawless good taste and the supreme authority on Star Wars. 

How do I know this? Cause you're on this hellsite and you like Star Wars. 

I'm not naive enough to expect people to not bitch about and complain about things they don't like, and honestly, you're allowed to do that. I encourage you to do it. I want people to keep in the back of their minds that it's their opinion and that it's not universal. And their opinion is no better than another person's. Even someone who you think has a shitty opinion or ships something 'problematic'. If you're going to proclaim someone else has dogshit taste, I would encourage you to look into the mirror and realize someone else thinks your tastes are dogshit as well. And fuck right off with canon is the only real and valid opinion. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES DISNEY HAS CHANGED CANON? They can't make up their fucking minds; nothing is set in stone, so just enjoy what you enjoy and let other people enjoy what they want. We're all here because we supposedly love this fandom, right? I feel like people have lost sight of that point. We're supposed to love Star Wars, and it should bring us together as a fandom, not tear us apart. But that's a rant for another day.

Hot Take Point Two: Have a little appreciation and respect for the people working on these shows. Unless you are in the industry or working on said show, you probably don't understand the amount of work, effort, blood, sweat, and tears that goes into making these things. Some of these people grew up dreaming about working on a Star Wars IP. This is probably a dream come true for a lot of people working on these shows, and you're pissing all over those dreams for popularity points on the internet like this is fucking Reddit, and you're farming for upvotes. No, it's not perfect; yes, there are going to be shitty VFX and cringe as fuck dialogue. 

It's not perfect, but they do their best with what they get handed. We had a saying in my old print shop, you can only shine up a turd so much. aka you take the shit you are given and you try and make it as polished and pretty as you can but at the end of the day you're working with the shit you were given. And I'm not saying these series are criticism proof or that you're not allowed to ridicule some of the terrible bad choices made.

I will go to my grave ranting about the ridiculous batshittery of fucking jetpack jousting in Mando S3. 

Hot Take Point Three: I will also argue that there are good elements in every new Star Wars IP released by House of Mouse. Yes, even the one you hate down the cockles of your black heart. I challenge you to shut out the noise from Tumblr, the bandwagon hating on something, and go in trying to find something you enjoy in a season or an episode. Find, say, 5 things you enjoy or a character (even a cringy one) or a set piece you visually find interesting. Maybe a funny joke or even a special effect so ridiculously stupid you can't help but laugh. (I'm looking at you Ahsoka fighting god damn fighters with a lightsaber while on top of the Ghost zooming around at full cruising speed. It's so utterly preposterous I can't help but laugh and shake my head all at the same time.)

You don't have to post about it or speak about it to anyone don't worry your friends don't need to know you might secretly enjoyed something you all 'hated'. Though I would also challenge you to actually speak about it as well because...hear me out here, you might find NEW PEOPLE who enjoyed those same things you might make more friends in the fandom, shocking I know. 

But just trying to FIND a positive thing in a show will give you a slightly more balanced relationship with how you consume it. Honestly, that's just general life advice you should try and take to heart. That's a freebie from your old Auntie El there. 

It's so easy to be a negative, pedantic fan who hates what we claim to love. But by making the conscious choice to find something good in this so-called pile of shit in front of you, maybe your relationship with the IP will be a happier one. If nothing else, you'll perhaps get sparked and remember what made you love Star Wars so much in the first place. 

So yeah, keep in mind your experience is not universal, even if you hate it, respect the time and effort it took to make it and try and find what sparked joy in you in the first place when interacting with the media. 

Oh, one other thing? 20 years from now? You're prolly going to look back on these shows you hate and find yourself nostalgic and maybe even a little apologetic for how much you dogged on this stuff because there will be a whole new cycle of brand new IP people are creating where people are proclaiming THAT is the worst shit ever made and they don't make Star Wars content like they used to. 

Cause that's just the human condition, and as someone who has been in this fandom for thirty years? I've seen that cycle replayed multiple times. We love the Prequels now, but twenty years ago, everyone hated them and thought they were ruining Star Wars. It doesn't get worse, it doesn't get better; we just grow older and learn to have a new perspective and learn to interact with the fandom in different ways. 

I'm just begging you, please stop being negative, toxicly pedantic fans who just sit there tearing down everything and learn to interact with the thing you claim to love with...actual love.

[thishadoscarbuzz]

260 - The Deep Blue Sea

A few weeks ago, we lost the great and greatly undervalued filmmaker Terence Davies, who listened have heard our love of on our previous episode for The House of Mirth. In 2011, Davies adapted the play The Deep Blue Sea for the screen, with Rachel Weisz taking the role of a post-WWII married woman devastated by a failed affair with a veteran pilot, played by Tom Hiddleston. The film launched at TIFF but didn't hit US screens until the following year, with Weisz an outsider contender in Best Actress with a NYFCC win and a surprise Golden Globe nomination.

This week, we talk about Davies' heartbreaking passing and his career that culminated with Benediction. We also talk about Weisz' career and Best Supporting Actress win for The Constant Gardener, Hiddleston's breakthrough year in 2011 including Thor, and Simon Russell Beale's tender performance as Weisz' husband.

Topics also include what a cockle is, NYFCC's other Best Actress choices, and the under appreciation of this year's Dead Ringers limited series.

Links:

The 2012 Academy Awards

Vulture Movies Fantasy League

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[deansmom]

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

228 😅

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

665,600 - I like coda’s and shorter fics, clearly.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, mainly Marvel. Historically supernatural, with some other things sprinkled in as inspiration strikes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Regarding Us deancas

The things I love deancas

Be careful, it’s my heart sambucky

Dean and Castiel’s excellent cockles love story

I found my bluebird

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes! I read them all though, and deeply appreciate them 🖤🥺 just responding with a thank you feels almost disingenuous to me 99% of the time, so I’d rather just save my responses for when I really have something to say.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Chapter 4 of stolen moments specifically, or its sister in remember me

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Erosion or I want my life to be with you, probably. Or actually, probably a map of who you are

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once. I matched their energy and they deleted the comment 😇😌 but I usually just occasionally get medium out of pocket comments about Sam being insecure in his & Bucky’s relationship, as if he isn’t a whole grown man 😩

9. Do you write smut?

Hilariously, I used to before I became a lot more comfortable with being asexual. Now when I try, I just hate it. Like, it’s fine? But I hate reading it, so I don’t usually publish it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

I… may or may not have at one point. You can be an internet sleuth and try to find it lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Christ, no. I would never do that to someone 😭 I cannot just sit down and decide to write, and it’s something that takes a lot of mental effort to do for me so I go months without writing.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

It’s a tie between deancas & stevebucky. I’m sorry, they just get me.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Are you ready to be strong? I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: anybody is welcome to finish that one because I never will lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything else 😂

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I try to do it sparingly, or I just write it but don’t translate it 😅

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Doctor who, I think?

20. Favorite fic you have written?

I’m probably the most proud of a map of who you are because it’s the first and only long fic I’ve ever finished.

be careful, it’s my heart

This monster of a series tbh. I’ve had so much fun playing with those characters the last couple years 🖤🥺

[buttercuparry]

Day 8: favorite arc

My favorite Arya arc would be the current one; of her time in Braavos.

Throughout the series, we have seen this 9 year old girl suffer unimaginable horrors. Forced to flee into the streets of KL- Arya has known what it is to starve. She learns that in a world that only knows need and hunger, she would be killed for the boots on her feet and the cloak on her back. She realises that for those who live beyond the walls of a castle, life doesn't bring them a knight from a song. Because when these iron clad men do come; they come to rain fire, death and destruction...tearing them apart like a pack of wolves or like a pride of lions.

Arya has tasted death; she has bit into maggot filled apples that grow between hanging men and perhaps even drank from lakes that have become watery graves to bloating bodies. She has heard the screams of those who have been violated- used as a commodity only to be killed when met with resistance.

Arya has lost her kin, her home, her friends.

So even if her Westerosi arc is filled with powerful moments; I prefer the Braavos one.

Mind you that by this I don't mean to indicate that her time with the FM is a flowery field; she is in a constant peril of losing the tether to her identity. But even so I love it as she once again gets to play at being a 10-11 year old.

There is something almost beautiful in getting to see Arya freely interacting with people again. In getting to see her appreciate the "pink and blue" dawn and the "sharp and salty" air that blows over the canals. She isn't constantly looking over her shoulder to see if she being chased by the bloody mummers or by Lannister men and what's more is that she is not starving anymore:

Supper was her favorite time. It had been a long while since Arya had gone to sleep every night with a full belly. 

I feel like these lines have both literal and figurative significance:

Westeros has been ravaged by war- a vision of which Dany was shown in the house of Undying. While the powerful sups on swan meat and makes provisions to arrange luxury parties at the onset of winter, the common folks suffer not only the misfortunes of the season but they also have to deal with being collateral damage in the play of politics. The result is a kingdom full of rot, hunger, starvation, stagnation, death and misery.

In Braavos though, Arya gets to witness the life a commoner leads when it is untouched by war. It is not perfect, nor is it without its danger, but still somehow it carries a hope of a future. It allows one a moment of serenity, it allows its young lovers to frolic in peace.

Brusco's daughter Brea meets a boy on the roof when her father is asleep, she thought. Brea lets him touch her, Talea says, even though he's just a roof rat and all the roof rats are supposed to be thieves. 

It also allows a confluence of cultures (which in turn hints at trade and a relatively steady economy) and a laugh to be shared among friends

She liked the sailors too; the boisterous Tyroshi with their booming voices and dyed whiskers; the fair-haired Lyseni, always trying to niggle down her prices; the squat, hairy sailors from the Port of Ibben, growling curses in low, raspy voices. Her favorites were the Summer Islanders, with their skins as smooth and dark as teak. They wore feathered cloaks of red and green and yellow, and the tall masts and white sails of their swan ships were magnificent...

Cat had made friends along the wharves; porters and mummers, ropemakers and sailmenders, taverners, brewers and bakers and beggars and whores. They bought clams and cockles from her, told her true tales of Braavos and lies about their lives, and laughed at the way she talked when she tried to speak Braavosi. 

Hence why is the Braavos storyline my Favourite out of all other Arya arcs.

[cto10121]

Some quick Breaking Dawn points so far:

Jacob has one of the best voices I’ve read in (recent) fiction ever. I’ve never been more entertained by a voice in my life (baring maybe Catcher in the Rye). I was crying just at the chapter titles. I guess back then I was too pissed at Jacob’s dickishness as a love interest for Bella to appreciate that fully, but I do now

That said, he still sucks as a love interest to Bella. Oh god the suckiest

Edward and Seth’s bromance will never not warm the cockles of my cold dead heart

Jacob and Rosalie’s hatemance will never not warm the cockles of my cold dead heart (reprise)

Bella and Rosalie’s newfound alliance is surprisingly wholesome. Honestly, it’s nice

Actually I’m just enjoying the character dynamics. It’s interesting how the alliances swtch and change

I’m still ambivalent over Bella’s decision to keep the baby. Yes, it is in character and the about-face is not far-fetched. I guess I wanted a little more struggle and ambivalence before Bella accepted the little critter

On that note I’m annoyed by how Edward’s arc is written constantly with a two-steps-forward-one-step-back progression. It’s the last book in the series and he is still surprised at typical Bella shit, re: She would love and want to keep her vampire baby??? Jacob understood immediately, which is the most horrific ship bait, but Edward was still blindsided

But…he respects Bella’s decision. Ditto Carlisle. Those clown antis that have tried to claim BD is pro-life propaganda don’t know what they’re talking about. If anything the baby-obsessed Rosalie is framed über critically for caring for Bella only because she is pregnant with a kid. Jacob at least is rightfully scornful and Edward hates it too

Re: Anti clownery, the idea that Bella has no agency in her story is laughable at this point. Laughable. She makes key choices and decisions that drive the plot, everyone literally respects her decisions, and her plan to birth the baby safely and live???? Actually worked. Bella got the sweet vampire D, a wholeass found family, and a sweet kid in the bargain.

On the Quileute side: Sam really was done so dirty. His decision to attack and his insistence to the point of exercising his Alpha power felt OOC to the extreme, particularly given his characterization beforehand (also the explicit Sam and Carlisle and Sam/Emily and Edward/Bella parallels). Given that he backed down after Jacob left, I feel Meyer just needed a good excuse for Jacob to break off and form his own pack. She knew Jacob wouldn’t have gone against Sam otherwise; he is no leader. It’s narrative chicanery

Jacob is finally understanding Leah much better now. Leah is doing much better now that she is not in Sam’s pack

[fatelesschild]

Babbling time. I vaguely remember screaming like a dead horse at some point in your Destiny chapters because for the first time since forever, my thirst for blood and pain for my recent obsession is having a great time for what seems like -- hmm -- a very very long time suffering in the most exquisite and well written story ever ever (unlike the other fandoms I used to follow barely have any art on anatomy and all the doctor-y stuff I always wanted) and then realized a dead end when I checked latest update (when I read it back in 2020) was sometime around 2017-ish?

But I DO remember I was rolling and spitting nonsense to my friend right in the face about your story and the MASSIVE cliffhanger kicking my pinky toe and my friend was all ????? and raised eyebrows and all that shite and anyway where was I going -- oh yeah I was manically searching for your other accounts and finally dropped into your ff.net and MAN you cannot imagine the sheer tears of joy that there's actually MORE chapters there? Hello? Heaven? It's even complete!!!??!

Mad mad mad MAD, I was -- and still am -- whooping madly in love for your series. And when I finished it up to The Ten Keys of the Moirai, I would re-read them again and again (I really cried when you brought back Tentoo, wow, excuse me can I get a breather please) and honestly they give me good dreams. I love good dreams. Then you continued updating your AO3! And then Memento happened! And then the pretty insane Gallifreyan anatomy happened! And I'm just so happy (and concerned in a good way) for you! I'm so proud of you for getting back up to your feet after defeating the baddies like you always do.

Months and years go on and true to my words, I still re-read them in my free time. I hope you're not too hard on yourself tho, what you did and shared with us are just masterpieces. What the hell. Fine works of art and damn pure passion, I mean there's not enough words I could describe what you do to keep yourself out of the terrible side of boredom but I'd put you next to le Carre if that even make sense.

Talking about what makes sense, what I'm actually trying to say is...

I'm glad you're still here.

<3

Oh gee, what you'll doing to me; making me feel so positive about my existence? 😂

It warms the cockles of my little robot heart to hear such words aimed in my direction and I can't tell you how honoured I am whenever anyone reaches out to me in this way to tell me anything I create means something to them. This whole series has pretty much been going since I was pubescent and I'm now heading through the aging decades quicker than a ninja flipping in a thunderstorm, and I still can't let the infinite story of TenRose (with extra whump) go.

All creation credit for the gallifreyan anatomy goes to @fritzmetzger for the idea, which frankly was waiting to be released from my brain by someone far more perceptive than me, and from that point it was always going to be somewhat of a bible. I've had such a great time doing it - it's contrarily an absolute pain in the ass and simultaneously also one of the most fun things I've ever done and I can't get enough of it.

I'm especially appreciative right now, I've been struggling pretty badly recently and the recent messages have been so important to me, I can't even tell you. Thank you, and I wish all nice things for you x

[hintsofhoney]

I posted 2,199 times in 2022

236 posts created (11%)

1,963 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@makeadealwithdean

@deanandkastiel

@justjensenanddean

@stillsupersherwholocked

@valleydean

I tagged 1,326 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#fic rec - 136 posts

#destiel - 102 posts

#cockles - 67 posts

#misha collins - 64 posts

#writer of the week - 54 posts

#jensen ackles - 53 posts

#stranger things - 50 posts

#spn dallas - 37 posts

#series of the month - 33 posts

#the boys spoilers - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but one thing i do know is the wave of happiness and like… peace that washed over me once i realized that bi was the missing piece for me&lt;3

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

cas and rowena roadtrip spin off when ??? (x)

1,278 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#4

*stripping music starts playing*

jensen:

1,587 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#3

Movie Night

Pairing(s): Steve Harrington x Reader x Billy Hargrove

Summary: You and your best friend, Steve, have a movie night planned, but things don't go the way they're supposed to when Billy shows up.

Tags: smut, threesome, degradation kink, praise kink, Billy’s an asshole, Steve is protective, Eiffel Tower, p in v, oral, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

Word Count: 4.7k

A/N: Don’t know where this came from, but I’m glad it did. I have a lot more in the works for Stranger Things, so keep an eye out! The ‘Are you getting fucked by stupid?’ line in this fic was directly stolen from Homelander; all credits to the writers of ‘The Boys’ for that one. Thank you to my biggest cheerleaders, @deangirl93​ and @treat-winchesterswith-kindness​, for beta-ing, I love you both to the moon and back! Hope you all enjoy the filth. 

You can also read me on Ao3! 

MAIN MASTERLIST

“I’ll fucking kill him.”

“Steve –”

“I swear to God, Y/N, I’ll murder him with my own two hands.”

Steve was pacing back and forth in your kitchen as you watched from a barstool at the counter. You didn’t particularly care that Billy had taken nude photos of you; you had the idea first, after all. But apparently he had a whole lot to say about them in the local gym’s locker room – which you also didn’t really mind – but Steve certainly did.

“The way he talked about you, like you’re just some… some thing to fuck. God, I should have laid one on him right –”

“Steve!” you yelled, pulling him out of his murder spiral. He stopped pacing and looked at you, his hands untangling from his hair – the famous Harrington hair – and returning to his pockets. 

“What?” he questioned blankly.

“Look, you’re my best friend in the whole world, alright? And I appreciate that you care so much about me, but Billy and I… he’s as much of a toy for me as I am for him.”

Steve’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Okay, gross.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. “All I’m trying to say is it’s not a big deal, alright? It really doesn’t bother me, so don’t let it bother you.”

“Don’t let it bother me? Don’t let it – I’m not going to let anyone – not even your,” he motioned vaguely with his hands, trying to think of the right word, “boy toy, Billy fucking Hargrove, talk about you like that. And you shouldn’t either, it’s dehumanizing.”

You chuckled as you slid off the barstool and walked over to him. You placed your hands on his cheeks – they were still cold from the outside chill of the November air; he had walked to your place as soon as he had left the gym – and smiled; your forearm against his chest picking up on his rapid heartbeat. “Steve, whatever Billy has said about me cannot possibly be more dehumanizing than anything he’s already done to me.”

Anger flashed over his face before he realized you meant sexually, making him jump back in horror, his features scrunching up in repulsion. “Great Y/N, thanks for that. I’ll be sleeping again, never.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’ll be thinking about how badly you wish you were doin’ things to me instead of Billy,” you teased, sticking your tongue out at him. You liked to think that you and Steve’s flirtatious teasing was the backbone of your friendship. It was how you two met – Steve made a comment about your ass one day after you got partnered up in science class, something like, ‘I’m glad we’re sitting next to each other now, but the view from behind isn’t too bad either’, accompanied with his classic Harrington smirk – and when you shot back with something snarky instead of dropping to your knees in the middle of the classroom like most girls would have because let’s face it – he’s Steve fucking Harrington – he decided you were different, so he stuck around. Three years later and that dynamic was still going strong, even after high school.

Steve coughed, seemingly caught off guard by your comment. “Yeah, you wish,” he bit back – his usual response when he didn’t have anything better to say. “Still good for tonight?” 

“Yes, of course. Speaking of, I’m gonna be late for work,” you sighed, checking your watch and grabbing your purse off the kitchen counter. You gave Steve a quick kiss on the cheek and patted it, adding a, “Please don’t go looking for ways to kill Billy Hargrove when I’m gone.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, alright, whatever. But I don’t like him, Y/N.”

You chuckled. “Neither do I, but man, is he a good –”

“NO! Get out! Go to work!” Steve exclaimed, ushering you towards the front door. “Go, get.” He practically shoved you out the door as you laughed, shaking your head as he slammed it shut behind you. 

“Such a prude, Harrington,” you said to no one but yourself as you made your way to your car.

See the full post

3,256 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

#2

laughing because I think that kripke and the cast genuinely thought that was gonna scar us. ive read worse while eating breakfast and holding a conversation with my mother, know your audience

3,987 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Freak

Pairing(s): Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: You can't get enough of Eddie's cock and he can't get enough of you.

Tags: 18+, rough sex, pwp, p in v, smut, dirty talk, praise kink, slight degradation kink, light anal play, rough oral sex (male receiving), crying during sex, fluff

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: Started this last night at 1 a.m. and my brain wouldn't let me sleep until I finished it, so, here it is. Also using this as my entry for @huffle-pissed’s Vibes and Valentines challenge (months late, I know, ‘cause I suck) where my prompt was, “You like it that much, huh?”, and that’ll be in bold. Thank you to my darling @makeadealwithdean for beta-ing! GIF is mine. Hope you guys enjoy!

You can also read me on Ao3!

EDDIE MUNSON MASTERLIST | STRANGER THINGS MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

“Jesussss fuck,” Eddie lets out, low and breathy as he watches you take him all the way in your mouth. You’re on your knees, thighs spread, topless, cheer skirt still on, and Eddie reaches down to brush some hair out of your face when you look up at him through your lashes, gentle and loving, like you’re not gagging on his cock. He grabs himself at his base with one hand before pulling back, and you release him with a soft ‘pop’. “Look at me, honey — good girl — let me see —”

You already know what he wants. You open your mouth and stick your tongue out, keeping your lust-filled gaze on him.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect,” he praises, tapping his cock on your tongue. He moves to drag it along your cheek and you start to follow it, hungry for more. He chuckles deeply. “You like it that much, huh? Jesus.” 

He seems enamored with you, almost, like he can’t believe this is real life even though you’ve sucked him off plenty. You nod eagerly in response and smile with your eyes, your mouth still open and waiting for him. 

“Shit, alright. God, you’re so good, baby,” he says, pushing himself into you again. You keep your eyes on his, tears forming in the corners of yours as his cock hits the back of your throat. “So, so good. ‘Course I’m gonna give you whatever you want when you look at me like that. Shit, are those tears, sweetheart?”

You nod around his dick, and you’ve got about 30 seconds left in you before you’re gonna need some air. You can feel the first few tears running down your face, and you know all too well what it’s going to do to him.

“Fuckin’ crying ‘cause you love my cock so much? Jesus — fuck.”

You take a deep breath through your nose when he finally pulls back, because you know what’s coming. 

“I’m gonna wreck that pretty little throat of yours. Would you like that, princess?”

You nod. Fucking please.

He smirks, grabbing a fistful of your hair, and then he’s thrusting into your mouth with abandon. The room sounds like the audio to one of Eddie’s porn movies — the ones that Steve sneaks him sometimes — gagging and panting and a dirty fucking half-choke, half-gargle coming from you every time he hits the back of your throat. Your mascara’s running, and you feel like you’re on a different fucking planet when he fucks you like this. Spit’s dripping down your chin, onto your skirt, and your arousal is definitely creating a wet spot on the floor where you’re sat. 

“Jesus. Fucking. Christ.” He accentuates the Lord’s full name with three hard final thrusts, pulling out of you completely, grabbing you by your wrist and yanking you to your feet before you can even begin to process what’s happening. He bends you over the bed and flips up your skirt, dragging his cock through your folds once, twice, before entering you with ease. His hand is still in your hair, and he’s pulling your head up off the mattress as he resumes fucking you. 

You whine, turning your head to the side and opening your mouth, sticking your tongue out, because as good as he felt, you needed something in between your lips. 

“Oh, you’re gonna be the fuckin’ death of me. Fuck,” he pants, giving you what you want by placing two ringed fingers in your mouth.

You wrap your lips around them, sucking and humming contently, as he keeps thrusting into you hard and fast. 

“So fuckin’ greedy, baby. Need all your holes fuckin’ filled to shut you up, hm?” He takes his hand out of your hair and moves it down to your ass, his thumb dangerously close to your hole. “Is that what you want?” he continues. “Be fuckin’ plugged up?”

You nod frantically, managing a desperate, “mhm!” around his fingers. He slows down his thrusts for a few seconds, spitting onto your crack, dragging it down with his thumb and circling your hole. 

“Right there?” he teases, and you could start crying again with need. 

You manage something that sounds like a “please”, and it’s good enough for him. He resumes his brutal pace as he sticks his thumb in, and it’s just to the first knuckle, but it’s enough to send you into a near-delirious state. 

“Good girl,” Eddie praises, and you can hear the smirk in his voice. “So fuckin’ good at being so fuckin’ dirty.”

You let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a whine, and he sinks his thumb all the way in in response. 

“That what you wanted? Jesus, you drive me crazy with your fuckin’ whining. Shit,” he speeds up his thrusts. “I give you everything you want and you still fuckin’ whine, you notice that?”

See the full post

11,244 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[notallwonder]

First impressions! Criminal Minds Evolution/CM 16, episodes 1 & 2.

Spoilers below the cut!

I'll also be tagging with all the variations of CM spoilers I can think of so you can filter/avoid going forward.

Vindication! Nicole Pacent for the win(ning Tara Lewis' heart)!

It's great to see these characters again so far. I love them! In the first episode everything still feels a little wooden though, a little stiff. Second episode things start to loosen up a bit more.

Unfortunately the CM writers still have a habit of writing dialogue divorced from the way real people talk. Not all of it is bad, but you can feel the difference when the actors have enough to work with/relax into. In fairness, good dialogue is a non trivial task, but I want the pros to do better!

I'm enjoying Rossi. His anger and grief are a bit heavy handed in the writing esp in the first ep, but it suits his character and Mantegna wears it well. I appreciate the way this motivates one on one scenes with other folks. Esp with Garcia! And with Prentiss! I just love their relationship, it's nice to see again. Also I think I'm still weirdly charmed by the microwave mac and cheese dinners too. #relatable

Also appreciating:

+JJ's big guns and wardrobe's very correct decision to put AJ Cook in a sleeveless shirt. *praise lesbian jesus*

+the Tara / DOJ Pacent reveal was pretty low-key, if expositional, as was the confirmation that Tara's bi. Also Emily's teasing & support warmed the jaded-by-network-TV cockles of my heart.

+that callback to Garcia's pink sticky note! nice

+Garcia, babe, I love ya. I'm so glad we get to see more of your substance. KV is crushing it. The scene with Rossi was wonderful. I don't remember if those two have ever had such a great moment together previously.

+I think this may be one of the few times I actually believe the JJ/Will chemistry? Will's "Am I in trouble?" was hilarious.

+I died, DIED, Wheezing Laughter, at Emily's exasperated "am I the only one not getting laid?" YES MORE OF THIS PRENTISS SASS MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE, I am Greedy for it. I'm so happy they're letting her have a personality again!!!

+I laughed so much I missed all the rest of that scene, the Rossi joke, JJ looking surprised (in a teeny tiny bit mad kind of way? as opposed to laughing kind of way?) at the Tara's girlfriend comment, good thing I watched it again like 5 times

+I appreciate that the first "fuck" of the series was uttered by an otherwise innocent civilian when presented with crime scene photos in an interview

+I agree with Rossi that they should name the guy Fuckhead rather than Sicarius. A+ no notes. Luke concurs.

+y'all, we're going to have a new problem in the fandom now - sexy serial killer thirst. I guess that's not completely new, are there folks out there who love Foyet? I haven't been paying attention to the men when it comes to shipping etc. Anyway Zach Gilford is lovely as always, except in a sinister way.

+I was incorrect before to be sad about Emily Prentiss' fancy office duds. If lesbian jesus ever chooses to bless me with another appearance of Cargo Pants Prentiss I will scream for joy and prostrate myself in gratitude, but I'm just happy to see her on my screen again.

+JJ/AJ lookin' good.

My wishlist:

+bureaucratic antagonists that are like....not so cartoonishly villainous/inept/out of touch. Honestly I miss Strauss in that role, Jayne Atkinson was great. The new guy (whom Prentiss could/should snap like a twig) Bailey is a silly little noodle compared to Barnes but they both just...tired treatment of institutional conflict imo.

+I still want a little nostalgia reunion tour with some favs: Jordan Todd, Morgan (at least a mention! A text thread! A voicemail! A photograph in Emily's office! s o m e t h i n g), Roxy cameo, Grant Anderson, Kate Jackson (her last acting credit was Ambassador Prentiss, very unlikely this would happen but can you imagine!!), Hotch or Jack cameo, Blake, Grandpa Rossi, SERGIO, etc etc etc

+Someone to call Prentiss a fox to her face, she deserves to flirt

+honestly, just a little more Prentiss personal life. I don't even necessarily mean romantic life, just some time in her world where she's not fighting with budgets and silly noodles and giving boss lady exposition. In case it is not clear from my blog, I'm here for Prentiss first and foremost.

+Y'know what also would be Great? An Emily gives Luke advice or shit (or both) about Garcia scene.

+JJ & Emily exchanging meaningful, possibly amused, looks. Context hardly matters to me at this point, since Jemily has long since graduated into the realm of AU/canon divergence. I just like to look at them looking at each other, I'm a simple gal.

+Tara and Rebecca go on a date, smooch, or generally continue to be cute. It's so much fun to see Nicole Pacent again. I first encountered her in the Anyone But Me web series lo these many years ago. That was really important to me at the time it was coming out because I was also coming out around then. Go check it out.

+more hugs all around. Garcia is on the right track there.

[casblackfeathers]

Cockles Appreciation Series ↳ The Unicorn Laugh

[credit: Gayled_it, Amberdreams, tinkabell007]

[moonchild1]

jung hoseok fic rec list (II)

here's my all time favourite hoseok fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, leave a heart, reblog or even leave a message or feedback under their posts I know they would appreciate hearing from you, some of these fics contain smut so no minors allowed ♡ feel free to send and share any fics you're reading or would like to recommend me, right now i'm going through a hybrid au and zombie apocalypse au phase so if you know any good ones please send them my way :)

a- angst s- smut f- fluff

series

hope world by @personasintro f s a (dancer au enemies to lovers)

an abundance of scrunchies by @ughcore f s a (enemies to lovers single parent au rich boy au teacher au)

but hating u is half the fun by @ughcore f s a (enemies to lovers co workers au rivals with benefits)

guarded by @xjoonchildx s a (mafia au tsundere au enemies to lovers slow burn)

get some by @gimmeyoon f s a (friends with benefits college au)

bones by @floralseokjin s a (friends with benefits)

heartbeat by @joonbird s a (gang au)

nudes, not flowers by @winetae s a (fuckboy au) ft. Jungkook

wall to wall by @winetae s (porn star au)

tessellate by @winetae s a (fuck boy au) ft. Jungkook

house of cards by @mikrksmos f s a (college au fuckboy au fuck buddies)

kairos by @kainks s a (sugar daddy au fake dating au)

who's your daddy by @ppersonna f s a (social media au)

flower by @readyplayerhobi f s a (online dating)

bloom by @jungxk s (brother's best friend)

one-shot

off duty by @sugakookitty f s (single dad au dilf au nanny au)

dust of snow by @aquagustd f s a (soulmate au fake dating au) ft. Yoongi

benefits by @cutechim f s (friends with benefits to lovers au)

orectic by @gimmesumsuga f s (hybrid au)

for the first time (what’s past is past) by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids f s a (neighbours to lovers au)

systems of touch by @yeoldontknow s

hot rod by @kinktae f s (1950 au)

trouble by @kpopfanfictrash s (virgin au college au)

rather be by @hisunshiine f a (dancer au college au)

client centered by @hisunshiine f s a (ceo au arranged marriage)

iridescence by @junghelioseok f a (soulmate au)

polaris by @junghelioseok f s (time traveler au)

for science by @noteguk s (college au)

spaces in between by @triptaech f s (best friend au fuck buddies au)

ten years by @readyplayerhobi f a (best friends au)

beleaguer by @httpjeon s (enemies to lovers neighbour au fuck boy au)

hurricane by @floralseokjin s a (professor au)

close call by @xjoonchildx s (mafia au)

good morning by @ppersonna f s (boyfriend au)

bloom by @7deadlysinsfics f s a (ceo au exes to lovers)

crashing into you by @taleasnewastime f s a (mafia au gang au)

interrupted by @kimnjss s (idol au boyfriend au)

silver bells and cockle shells by @readyplayerhobi f s a (single dad au)

sleigh bells ring by @readyplayerhobi f (sequel to SB&CS)

it's been hard by @btsracket s (idol au)

keynote by @missgeniality f s (strangers to lovers)

project dream girl by @bonvoyagenoona f s a (childhood friends to lovers)

sonic rain by @jungblue f s a (dancer au college au)

south side by @kth1 s (strangers to lovers)

the contradiction of the century by @uhgood-dooghu f s (dancer au)

intertwine by @yoonia s a (exes to lovers)

tidal wave by @yoonia s a (slow burn epilogue for intertwine)

↬looking for other jhs fics or the other bts members find it all in my library

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

the cockles masterlist, part 3

split in six for link limit reasons

WARNING: this post glitches and crashes on mobile. it’s recommended you view this on your desktop, or at least on your mobile browser rather than the app. if my desktop theme is hard on your eyes, try an extension such as Just Read or Reader View to customize the layout and colors.

if you’re still having trouble viewing, or if you don’t want to have to switch between the five posts, here’s all of the links compiled into a google doc.

welcome to the cockles masterpost, a labor of love/insomniac hyperfixation.

i recently wrote this cockles manifesto, but after it got a lot of notes and i kept adding more links to it, i decided i should just go through my 8 years of archives and compile all the cockles posts in a much more accessible and navigable way. after everything with the series finale and destielgate, i figured we could use some happiness, and it turns out there are a lot of people who’ve never heard the cockles gospel.

important disclaimer: yes, i do think that jensen and misha have a private romantic/sexual relationship, but no i do not, in any way, think that they have ever cheated on their wives. we think they are polyamorous, which is a real and valid thing, and misha is openly poly. some people love more than one person, and that’s okay. their families are close and we love and support all of them.

second important disclaimer: despite the amount of innuendo below, this is not about fantasizing about two hot guys fucking. cockles is about the joy of witnessing two people who love each other and make each other happy and are disgustingly cute together. we’re not fetishizing, we’re just appreciating what they publicly share with us.

third important disclaimer: because some of y’all don’t know, the cardinal rule of cockles is that we don’t talk to cockles about cockles. DO NOT leave any comments on their social media accounts implying anything. not even green and blue hearts. they know that we know, but it’s on us not to make it weird. if we’re too obvious and say too much, they might start sharing less. don’t say anything.

NOTICE: if this list is too long or you don’t know where to start, i wrote a post that one might call an illustrated guide to cockles that breaks down many of the most important moments and what i think they mean.

for the sake of my sanity, these are in no particular order.

last updated: 12/13/22

🐚 denotes new content

part 1 (That’s Suspicious, mishananigans)

part 2 (#pray4jensen, gag reel hijinks, some posts i’ve written about cockles and rps)

part 4 (the glory of jibcon)

part 5 (just for cute)

part 6 (jibcon continued, just for cute continued)

know your cockles history:

The epic love story of Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins | that time misha accidentally (?) tweeted it out

that fucking tree | more gifs

the ten-year anniversary post

the matching bracelets/first ring jensen gave misha | more ring photos | better view of the bracelets/charm

different matching bracelets

another ring jensen gave misha | bonus | also: it’s a thing for queer people to wear their wedding rings on their right hand

matching necklaces jensen bought

the sunset photo | the jumping sunset photo | telling the story of the sunset photos

that time misha reenacted the fake orgasm scene from when harry met sally and jensen..... liked it | a lot | more gifs | callback years later: “if you could do any movie together, what would it be?” | ”i’ll have what he’s having”

misha’s boat trip photos | jensen’s boat trip photo | jared: “and they haven’t released the nudes!”

the boat trip story | jensen closeup | more on the boat trip...

“dmitri, bring it out”

alona tal: “have you ever kissed jensen?” misha: “umm...”

the story of jensen draping his whole body around misha while misha signed autographs + blurry photo

the valentine’s card | video | more gifs 🐚

jensen telling the story of how they met misha (for the hundredth time)

jensen talking about his first scene with misha

the story of the first time the went to dinner together (despite jensen otherwise insisting he can’t remember that far back)

jensen reminiscing about when they met

the mirroring compilation

the infamous reverse french mistake edit

jensen calling misha his ‘pebble’

the chest-to-chest selfie

that time they had a private mass at the vatican??

the family ice cream date

“hey big boy”

people’s choice award acceptance video (gifs)

selfie at the last spn sdcc panel

the time jensen pied misha to haze him when directing his first episode | more gifs | more gifs | jensen complaining that jared pied misha too roughly :(

the cat video dramatic reenactment | more

“would you just drink your fucking water and get off the stage?” | more gifs

the bridal carry photo op

clothes sharing compilation

“i couldn’t see you for a while. got a little nervous.” | more gifs

the temporary breakup speculation

detailed breakdown of events surrounding the potential breakup

misha gave jensen west’s old baby blanket for jj

west took his first steps in jensen’s garden

a collection of favorite cockles moments

some cute moments from the early years

YANA campaign videos: 1 2 3 4 | gifs

cas looked so happy because jensen was making misha laugh

“what were you born in a barn?”

“if your characters had dating profiles, what would they say?”

“i’m not normally one to talk about coworkers, but jensen just let me take this picture of him shirtless”

old interview moments

the time jensen jumped on misha’s back

“it feels like there’s this angel standing over me” | more gifs

the “are these engagement photos?” photo ops | close-ups

jensen looking heartbroken when fans said they didn’t want misha to come back to spn | further context

the mr. and mr. smith photo op

the time jensen walked into radio shack and found a portrait of his face done in skittles (because of misha)

the rugburn™ | the rugburn visible in 8x07

jensen made spn shut down filming because misha was too sick to go on

jensen getting in the question line to ask misha to do a dean impression

the already infamous anal sex fart joke

jensen’s more intimate photo op touches the weekend misha was mugged

last dead guy robe picture

jensen and misha's last on-set photo together

jen crashing misha’s panel with seb

jensen kissing misha just behind the green room door at jib3 2012

eyes like the sky beer

very early smiling at each other onstage

the cockles easter egg in the last of us 2 | full explanation | misha’s tweet  🐚

my alma tag

early years pictures and gifs

the head-leaning hospital photo

misha’s blanky

i’m one of the poor souls who didn’t know that jensen and misha lived together in a vancouver apartment from 2017-end of show | further details

jensen released the song “angeles” on september 18 2012, the fourth anniversary of cas’s first episode. lyrics include, “so glad to meet you, angeles.”

what “aloha, cowboy” actually means

danneel’s photo of jensen reading misha’s poetry book by a fire

my denvercon cockles tag, for everything cockles-related that happened on october 16, 2021, at the first in-person spn con since covid, the destiel confession, and the series finale.

video of misha crashing jensen’s denvercon panel

misha walking out to hug jensen from behind at denvercon | video

discussing how when they hugged, misha was surprised by jensen’s muscles and jensen was surprised by misha’s softness; “like an angel plushie”

the way jensen turns, leans back, and spreads his legs at denvercon | another angle

unicorn laugh at denvercon

leaving together at denvercon

jensen... had his car sent to misha’s house in washington?  

video of jensen draped over misha’s shoulder, discussing fanart they’d seen at the con and how they’d each defaced it. “you drew the black penis?” | gifs  

everything cockles that happened at nov 6-7 ‘21 charcon: “whatever you say, mish” and “i live it”  

“okay, babe.”

the “possessive” photo ops from nolacon ‘21 

the tender and loving way they hugged for photo ops in 2021 

sunrise photo shoot from dallascon ‘22

misha and jensen discussing how they’ve given up saying no to photo op requests

misha stating that jensen’s song ‘watching over me’ is about destiel 

everything from the njcon ‘22 cockles panel | complete panel video

“This guy is always partially-obstructing my view of sunsets” 2019 tweet 

misha telling the story (again) of how jensen made him break with kissy faces | talking about the face/doing the face jib2 & jib6 | imitating the kissy face | more imitating the face | jensen talking about the kissy face | it’s jensen’s favorite ‘prank’

cw upfronts misha Gazing at jensen photo | edit

jibcon12 misha/jensen panel transition hug | video | more gifs | photos | more photos | MORE photos

fighting over whose sunglasses they are | video

jensen: “and you looked AMAZING”

misha posing as audience member to ask, “do you usually at night watch misha collins videos with your wife?“ | jensen discussing the lazarus rising watch party: “had like a three-way... video conference”

@theyarebothgunshot‘s “and they were roommates” timeline of cockles cohabitation

the ew photoshoot of champagne + cheek kiss fame | outtake photos  

misha’s detour at ‘22 denvercon to hug jared and jensen | more gifs | mooore gifs | photos | video 

jenmisheel tag 

"[danneel] does refer to misha as her boyfriend. which is funny, because so do i." | video |

jensen serenading misha with "angeles" | video

the destiel song they improvised together | video |

2009 highlights

2010 highlights pt 1

2010 highlights pt 2

2010 highlights pt 3

2011 highlights pt 1

2011 highlights pt 2

2015 highlights

2016 highlights

2019 highlights

2021 highlights  

2022 highlights

the i n t i m a c y:

misha tenderly caressing jensen’s back (jibcon) | more

misha tenderly caressing jensen’s back (phxcon) | another angle | hd photos | yet another angle

jensen wrapping his arm around misha’s waist | followed by an ass slap | sharper gifs: x, x

hands on thighs

the neck kiss

whispering compilation

more whispering

jensen shoving misha face away | alternate angle  

hug + cheek kiss (ew photoshoot) (photo)

head boops

kisses compilation

jensen dropping his head to misha’s shoulder

slow dancing

touching compilation

beginning/ending of panel

heads on shoulders | video of jensen laying his head on misha’s shoulder  

the way they shake hands | bonus | a breakdown of a handshake

face stroking

more face stroking

comfortingly rubbing each other’s backs

a hug photo

the sdcc hug/head lean (gifs)

patting jensen’s head | more gifs

undercover hand lovemaking | another angle 🐚

jensen’s hand sliding down misha’s arm

eyes closed hugs

His. Hand. Was. Determined. To. Stay. On. That. Leg.  

excessive hand touching

how they hug

hugging/rubbing each other’s shoulders

hug compilation

jensen's hand sliding down misha's back  🐚

and lastly... please, nobody tweet this at misha (or any other cast member), but misha, if you do see this... please don’t tweet it either. thank you.

[spookyseraphs]

supernatural and the x-files (specifically destiel and msr) parallels

this was intended to convert my spn friends to txf and my txf friends to spn and then it got out of hand. i got tired of finding sources for everything, so you’ll just have to trust me, i’m an expert on both subjects.

cas=scully

cas/scully's faith in god vs dean/mulder being non-believers (but believing in the other) (spn) (txf)

cas being the healer, scully being a doctor (spn) (txf)

cas is supposed to guard the michael sword but falls in love vs scully sent to debunk the x-files but falls in love (spn) (txf) 

cas and scully are both immortal (spn) (txf) (also)

cas/scully's families hate dean/mulder (spn) (txf)

cas/scully coming to believe in humanity/the paranormal (spn) (txf)

i'm an angel vs i'm a medical doctor (spn doesn’t have a compilation)   (txf)

they’re not like... the best drivers

hello dean vs mulder it’s me (spn) (txf)

dean=mulder

dean/mulder's fucked up fathers (spn) (txf)

dean/mulder's eldest child syndrome and their unhealthy need to protect their younger sibling (spn) (txf)

dean/mulder being the best in their respective fields (hunting and criminal profiling) and being well known for it

dean/mulder and their porn habits (spn) (txf)

no one has ever hated themselves the way dean and mulder hate themselves (spn) (txf)

dean and mulder both have issues with fire (spn) (txf)

both die, get buried, and then come back

sunflower seeds vs pie

also they both hate nazis (spn) (txf)

yellow fever vs war of the coprophages  (spn) (txf)

ship parallels

blue and green eyes (hazel is close enough)

for some reason theres a pizza man parallel? (spn) (pt 2) (txf) (pt 2)

mulder/krycek vs dean/crowley (spn) (txf) (also)

cas/hannah vs scully/pendrell (poor hannah and pendrell never stood a chance... and died)

also cas/scully get laid ONE TIME (april/ed jerse) and they almost die because of it and then never do it again (spn) (txf)

vs dean/mulder having plenty of love interests/hookups

cas/scully have never done anything wrong ever

dean/mulder... sigh... i love them... but they've made some questionable decisions (i'm looking at you mulder: fucking the vampire THE EP AFTER SCULLY'S ABDUCTION AND WHILE WEARING HER CROSS and dean, kicking cas out and locking jack in the ma’lak box?? really guys?) (spn) (txf)

creators who think their relationship is platonic despite everyone with eyes saying otherwise (spn) (txf)

also the way that neither were ever written or intended to be romantic

the fandoms were split heavily between shippers and non shippers 

they also both had to have scenes changed because they were being played too romantic

a kiss was cut from the episode memento mori and gillovny were always trying to hold hands (x)

jackles forever wanting to cradle misha's face and the cut i love you from the crypt scene (x)

just... gillovny vs cockles in general, i am not a real person shipper, HOWEVER they are both messy (spn) (txf)

their first meetings? iconic. chemistry? immaculate. dean/mulder are super defensive but tbh cas/scully fell in love at first sight (spn) (txf)

they also had no concept of personal space pretty much immediately (spn) (txf)

they have a baby (that has magic powers) together that they lose twice (jack dies and becomes god, william/jackson is adopted and then as far as they know he dies) (spn) (txf)

cas/scully also have a kind of kid (claire/emily) that dean/mulder are willing to co-parent regardless of the fact that they definitely aren't theirs (spn) (txf)

we get an i love you that still doesn't get taken seriously or make them canon (stuck in the middle (with you) and triangle) (spn) (txf)

dean keeping cas's trenchcoat vs mulder keeping scully's cross (spn) (txf)

they go absolutely batshit when the other is in danger or dies/is dying (spn) (txf)

they're also known and used by their enemies as each other's weaknesses (spn) (txf)

msr being mistaken as a couple vs every angel and demon cracking jokes about destiel being a couple (spn) (txf)

skinner and sam just off to the side looking frustrated while msr and destiel are having a couples moment (spn) (txf)

eating each others food (spn) (txf)

appreciating each others interests (spn) (and this one) (txf)

parallels except the roles are swapped

dreamland/small potatoes vs casifer, i just think scully/dean should have realized IMMEDIATELY (spn) (txf)

mulders fight the future speech vs cas's confession (spn) (txf)

they should have kissed and didn't

it almost ambiguously canonizes them both

AND THE SECRET TAPES, the most famous msr kiss isn't an actual canon kiss, it's a blooper of gillian and david making out in front of the camera (two different times) and it wasn't scripted it was literally just them messing around (x)

this is me manifesting jackles dropping the tapes and those tapes having the same energy

they just really love each other (spn) (txf)

non ship/general parallels

leyla harrison vs becky rosen being fandom stand ins (spn) (txf)

they were supposed to end on season 5

Good but bad (absolutely iconic) sci-fi shows

they both had two finales which both sucked

they shared soooo many cast and crew and both filmed in vancouver

they're such similar shows, motw/story episodes, the funny and serious episodes, dealing with the paranormal, they're basically siblings

also siblings in the way that they handle racism, misogyny and consent/rape/bodily autonomy

the supernatural book series vs the movie made about mulder and scully (spn) (txf)

mystery spot vs monday (spn) (txf)

tall tales vs bad blood  (spn) (txf)

 the benders vs home (spn) (txf)

why did both shows use live bees??? (spn) (txf)

the fbi's most wanted and the fbi's most unwanted (also everyone involved looks cute as fbi agents) (spn) (look how cute!) (txf) (cuties!!)

the syndicate vs heaven and the cigarette smoking man vs god

the bunker vs the basement office

every single side character on both shows deserved better!!! most of them literally didn't need to die!!! and i'm still angry!!!

the poor brothers adam milligan and charlie scully existing and then being literally forgotten about until the last season

the fandoms living for things cut from the scripts (spn) (txf)

team free will vs mulder, scully, and skinner

these ones are shippy, but more my opinion than factual

both pairs just keep getting traumatic events dumped on them for absolutely no reason

cas/scully both have major exasperated why do i love this man vibes

absolutely most iconic and slowest slow burn romances of all time and are just the longest games of will they/won't they, baiting, and were never INTENDED to be slow burns

they're always willing to die/kill for each other, however they WILL NOT talk about their feelings under any circumstances

in the field where i died, mulder says that he and scully have been around each other in past lives but never romantically and according to chuck, every other universe's castiel just pulled dean out of hell and listened to his orders

SO in these other lives/universes they were always linked to each other but only in this life/universe do they fall in love

the last seasons really fuck up my favorite characters

dean should not be that shitty to jack OR cas for that matter

and mulder shouldn't have left scully and william (and dearest dana?? DANA?)

and, controversial opinion, but cas/scully could do so much better and deserve so much better but dean/mulder... it's the best they'll ever get

HOWEVER, i feel like their love is MORE powerful BECAUSE cas/scully could do better but they don't want better or normal they want dean/mulder and they will fight to the death for it, it's not the easy choice, it's just what they want

and i say this with all the love in the world for both dean and mulder, but cas could have just followed his orders and returned to heaven like every other version of himself did. scully could have easily found a normal man to settle down and have 2.5 kids with. dean was always going to be stuck in chuck's plans, and mulder absolutely could not just go find a wife to settle down with.

cas/scully put up with SO MUCH SHIT from dean/mulder, while being ALWAYS FAITHFUL to them, it was never the easy option to love these men and stay by their sides, it was hard and they worked for it!!!

they’re both the greatest love story ever told, they tied

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Just re-read the whole The Plot series plus that last story and holy shit. The art? The realness? The hot, hot sex? The angst? The humor? The beautiful writing? 💗 Cockles is the best ship but there is so little fic that shows them as them. The reason I love Jensen and Misha so much is because of who they are and who they are together, but so much fic is AU or out of character. I just want to say I appreciate how accurately you portray them. I love how real your stories feel, and I love you! 💗

Wow ...

This is so freaking sweet! THANK YOU!!!

I'm really glad you liked the series enough to reread it. That means so much! The whole reason I started writing "The Plot" was to showcase everything we love about the guys, so knowing that you find it all to be in-character and realistic makes me so happy. Truly, thank you!!!

And ... I love you too.

❤💜❤💜❤