A Crack Ship Snippet
M'Baku × Everett × Namor
I have no idea how I feel about this cardboard ship I built, lol. I tend to be on the ship, and sometimes, I get off. Anyways. Like always. The discord boosted my head up, and I did it. 🫶🏾 Here's a picture of all of us. 🤣
nsfw-ish fanfic
It all started with a request to the bartender as Everett settled on the stool.
"Ah. Hey? Do you guys have any foreign liquors or-"
"Of course, the only white man in all of Wakanda would come up and ask for something foreign." The bartender scoffed.
"Well there's Bucky-"
"The White Wolf does not ask for something from abroad."
Ross opened his mouth for a moment before sighing. "I'm sorry. Do you have any suggestions or recommendations...?"
"You look like a fruity drink with an umbrella kind of guy."
"Ah-"
"Am I right?"
"Well- not fully. I do enjoy a Jameson on the rocks from time to time-"
"Oh manly. Such a manly man with his Irish whiskey." He scoffed.
"So you do have foreign liquor-?"
"You're in Wakanda! We are an advanced nation! Of course we have foreign liquor!" The man frowned. "But why would you come to Wakanda and order something you can get anywhere in the world instead of getting something you can only get here?"
"I- uh- I didn't think-"
"Oh, calm down, colonizer. I'll make you something nice." The bartender chuckled as he stopped polishing a shot glass and set it down in front of him. "Let's get some Wakandan vodka in you while I work on that, mm?"
"Sounds like a plan." He offered a small smile.
"Good." They poured him a shot. "This stuff right here is incredible. We call it the Heart of Wakanda."
Everett eyed the clear liquor. "Why?"
"It's made with the dead leaves of the heart-shaped herb."
"Is that safe for me to drink?"
"Yes. I'm not out here handing out mugs of absinthe." He chuckled. "Drink." He gestured to the glass.
Everett eyed the glass skeptically before picking it up and downing it.
It had a bitterness that rivaled cough syrup and black licorice, causing him to choke and nearly gag as it raced down his throat.
"Are you sure that isn't absinthe!?"
"I'm sure."
"That was awful." He groaned.
The bartender chuckled. "Don't worry. The next drink will be better."
"Ugh." He groaned as he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Do you have any citrus slices? Preferably an orange?"
He was slid a tangerine and watched the bartender start working on his drink with a sigh.
This wasn't exactly what he had asked for, but it would do.
He grabbed the fruit up and began to pick at it, eager to cleanse his palette.
That is until a large hand smacked his back before sliding around to squeeze his shoulder.
"What are you doing over here by yourself, colonizer?"
Ross sighed when he recognized the Jabari king's voice moments after being hit with a wave of his cologne. "Hiding from you."
"Hiding from me?" He chuckled before pulling away to sit beside him. "You are one of the only two white men in Wakanda right now. You cannot hide from me without leaving the nation."
"Well, I'm a wanted man, so I can't leave."
"Then you cannot hide." He grinned.
"He could always come to Talokan."
They both turned to look at Namor, who had chosen to sit on the opposite side of the dazed American.
"You would let a colonizer into Talokan?"
"He is an ally. However, I would not hesitate to kill him if he caused any issues." He offered a warm smile to the Jabari king before looking down at Everett. "But you wouldn't give me a reason to need to kill you, right?"
Everett parted his lips in shock before refocusing on his tangerine. "No!" He frowned. "I have no idea why either of you are talking to me." He huffed as he began to pick at the fruit's skin. "I'm off the clock. There's no need to be near me."
"I can go wherever I wish. This is Wakanda." M'Baku nudged him. "If I wish to annoy you while you pout over a tangerine, I will."
"I am not pouting."
"Then why are you struggling to peel it?" Namor arched a brow as his eyes began to darken. "Do you have enslaved people to peel them for you?"
"Enslaved what-? No!" Everett panicked under the god king's gaze. "I'm just used to eating chopped fruit from the store. Where employees chop up the fruit and sell it or a business sells pre-chopped fruit... or processed fruit cups...and have you ever been to a grocery store?"
Namor shook his head slowly.
"I need to show you a picture of one or a video. They're really nice. I think you'd like it and-"
"-you're rambling."
His face burned in embarrassment. "Sorry."
The king turned his head before looking to the bartender. "Give me whatever you gave him." He pointed at the empty shot glass.
"Me too." M'Baku raised a hand as the bartender abandoned the cocktail shaker he was shaking.
Everett fumbled with the tangerine as the two men were served their shots of liquor.
M'Baku took it with ease and Namor took it with a low grunt.
Both were better than his suppressed retching and cries for citrus.
It was hard not to feel insecure when sitting between them.
They were attractive.
Big.
Strong.
Revered.
Wise.
And he was....
not.
The two big men watched him struggle in silence until he managed to break the skin of the fruit with his short, blunt nails. He peeled off the peel with skilled fingers before inspecting the naked fruit. He pulled a wedge from the veined sphere and popped it into his mouth before glancing up at the two kings.
They were both watching him intently.
He furrowed his eyebrows after swallowing. "Oh...uh...did you guys...want a slice?" He held another wedge up and glanced between them.
Namor grabbed his wrist and pulled it close before he ate it out of his hand.
Everett could only stare as the king chewed.
"What.... why did you do that...?"
Namor looked at him. "You offered it."
"To place it in your hand."
"It is not an offense to be fed. Is it?"
"Well no... but it's awkward."
M'Baku arched a brow. "You're just sharing food."
"Maybe I'm thinking too hard about it."
"Well feed me. I can make it awkward."
"No! Feed yourself."
"Come on. Don't tell me the little mouse is scared."
"I'm not scared."
"Then feed me."
"I will if you promise not to make it weird."
"Make it weird?"
"No moaning or anything strange."
"You have to earn my moans." M'Baku chuckled. "I do not moan for free."
"Good." Everett exhaled before grabbing another wedge and holding it out to the Jabari king. "Here."
He ate it out of his hand before inspecting his empty shot glass. "Mm. This really cuts the bitterness." He murmured.
"Yeah." Everett fed himself another wedge. "I originally wanted an orange, but a tangerine works pretty well." He fed Namor another before working on pulling another wedge free. "It's better than the cuties and halos I used to grab at the store."
"What are those?" Namor arched a brow as he watched Ross feed M'Baku another wedge.
"Genetically modified fruits. They have soft skin, so that it's easier to peel."
"Oh. Is that why you struggled?" He arched a brow before grabbing his hand to inspect his nails.
"Maybe."
"Your hands are very soft and scar-free." He furrowed his eyebrows as he trailed a thumb over his palm.
"Well, I'm not a warrior. I was a pilot before I became an agent." He shrugged. "We use guns. Not spears."
"Which is why you are weak and fragile."
"Well, if we had vibranium bullets. I think we'd give you a run for your money."
"And that is why I despise the surface world." Namor let go of his hand before asking the bartender for another shot.
"What? Because we don't use spears and fists?!"
"Because you are greedy and destructive."
"Says the man who wants to burn the surface world to ground-"
"-because you are greedy and destructive!"
"Well, riddle me this, what came first? The chicken or the egg!?" Ross frowned as he watched the bartender pour the king another shot.
"God."
"That wasn't an option!"
"But it is true."
Ross puffed his cheeks in frustration as the king downed the shot before taking his last tangerine wedge.
"You're difficult."
"And you're easy."
Ross rolled his eyes. "I don't know how you're drinking that stuff like it's water."
"I like it. It's different." He shrugged before looking at the glass. "I wonder how it's made."
"The Heart of Wakanda is made in the Temple of Bast." M'Baku offered.
"Really?"
"Yeah." M'Baku nodded. "It's made similarly to vodka, where you ferment a grain pulp. But, the dead leaves of the heart-shaped herb are incorporated during fermentation." He looked up to see Namor and Everett listening intently, slightly flustered by his own intellectual gushing. "My cousin oversees the process. That's why I know so much." He offered a small smile.
"Oni?" Everett tilted his head.
"Yeah." He smiled. "Production stopped after Killmonger burned all of our plants, and Oni was cast into exile. So, now that she is back and the plants are flourishing again, we have the Heart of Wakanda back."
"Literally and figuratively." Everett offered as he recalled just how important the vessel of Bast was to the people of Wakanda.
"Mhm." He nodded.
"Does each Tribe of Wakanda have their own special liquor?"
"Kind of." M'Baku smiled. "There are several liquors made here in Wakanda. We have plum wines, other fruit wines, and floral wines. Herbal vodkas." He wiggled his shot glass. "Creamy liquors, which come from the Jabari Lands. There's so much... I couldn't possibly list them all."
"Hm." Everett nodded before looking to the talokanil king. "What about Talokan?"
"We have a variety as well...some from our ancestors and newer ones we've had to cultivate in our new home." He offered a warm smile. "We have one made with fermented maize. One with kelp. And sweeter liquors made from cocoa, chilies, or fruit."
"Really?"
"Yes. We usually go for something thick with heat so that it keeps you warm. Talokan is cold because it is so far below." His eyes seemed to sparkle as he spoke of his kingdom. "But we wash it down with something sweet and creamy so that your mouth isn't burning from the chilies."
"Sounds good."
"I'll have to bring some liquor back next time. It is quite delicious."
"I'll have to bring something from the mountains as well."
Everett nodded before smiling as the bartender slid him three drinks.
"Alright." The man leaned against the counter. "I figured I'd treat you to a little drink tour, since no one's really given you a taste of Wakanda in terms of liquor." He pointed a finger at the first drink. "Here's a plum margarita. They're made with Wakandan grown plums that are gathered by the Temple of Bast. It's sweet, fruity, floral, and refreshing." He hummed before circling a finger over it. "Rimmed with salt and garnished with thyme." He moved his hovering finger over the second drink. "This drink is called the Melon Trifecta. It's named after a popular icee flavor sold here in Wakanda. It features three different melons by layering liquor-based slushies. I think you'll like it. It kinda looks like a rainbow sorbet. But three different melons." He huffed before pointing at the last drink. "This last one is called the First Sunrise of Wakanda. Basically centering around the first sunrise after Bashenga united Wakanda. It's got the Heart of Wakanda in it diluted with fruity syrups of different densities. Creating the perfect ombre." He clapped his hands together. "Enjoy."
"Thanks!" Everett smiled before looking at his drinks with glee. He grabbed the first drink, took a sip, and grinned. "Wow. That's good." He slid it to M'Baku. "Try it."
He took a sip before nodding in approval as he slid it to Namor. "I told you, the plums are phenomenal."
Namor nodded in agreement as he took a sip. "The salt keeps it from being too sweet."
"Yeah." Everett grinned before grabbing the second drink and taking a sip. "Ok. This is the best thing I've ever had in my entire life."
"We need to take you to the icee place in the market area then." M'Baku snorted.
"It doesn't taste like fake fruit or candy. It literally tastes like melons." The American gushed as he took another sip.
"Welcome to Wakanda."
Namor pulled the glass away once he managed to suck half of the drink away through a straw, ignoring the small man's pout.
The king took a sip before nodding and offering it to M'Baku.
He shook his head. "I don't really like melons. They taste like sweet cucumbers."
Everett chuckled. "They don't taste like sweet cucumbers."
"Yes, they do, and that's why I don't eat melons."
"Well, you could try it."
"And still hate it."
"It tastes good to me." He hummed as he plucked his cup from Namor's hand and took a sip.
"Well, let's see if it's better with you." M'Baku grabbed his jaw and pushed his tongue into his mouth.
His tongue was cool and tasted strongly of plums. A tangy sweetness that cut through the sweet and refreshing melon liquor that floated in his mouth.
Before he could swallow, M'Baku robbed him of his drink before breaking the kiss with a soft hum.
Namor caught the cup as he dropped it and took another sip as Ross slowly came back to his senses and smacked at the chuckling king.
"Wha- hey! You drank my drink out of my mouth- and then you kissed me!" His voice went up three octaves as he finished the sentence.
"Maybe I do like melons." He ignored him.
"What!? Wait- really?" He smiled. "See. I told you it was good."
"Mhm."
Namor grabbed him by the jaw. "I want to try it too."
"Huh-"
"Sip."
"What? No. I'm not a shot glass."
Namor sighed and put down the glass before crushing their lips together.
Ross was stunned.
How drunk were they!?
And why wasn't anyone saying anything about them making out at the bar!?
Was this the norm!?
His train of thought was broken as the king's tongue slipped into his mouth.
His face burned as he kissed back shyly.
This wasn't supposed to happen, but he didn't hate it.
The king was even allowing him to pull him closer.
His breath hitched as M'Baku pulled him back by his hair, ending their kiss with a sting that made him moan.
"Look at you." He huffed. "You can't reward him so quickly, Fish man. He must work for it."
Namor scoffed. "Fine. Let's finish these drinks then."
The Jabari king released the silver-haired man. "Alright."
Everett was so red, it wasn't even funny.
But, if they wanted to play.
He could play.
Everett gently plucked the melon trifecta cup from Namor's hand again before finishing the drink. Namor shook his head before watching him grab the third drink.
"Perhaps you should slow down." He offered.
"While sitting with you two? No thanks."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm tired of feeling tense." Everett groaned as he lifted the drink. "I'm trying to get as loose as fucking possible."
"If you wanted to relax, all you had to do was ask." M'Baku chuckled as he sipped on his abandoned plum margarita. "I wouldn't mind helping."
"I literally came to the bar to get away, and the two of you hunted me down anyways." He frowned. "This is as close to a getaway as I'm going to get."
Namor laughed softly. "I think I enjoy your honesty when you're drunk."
"I'm not drunk. I'm just a little buzzed."
"What's the difference?"
He twirled a finger in the air. "Shit isn't spinning yet."
Namor hid his smile behind his hand. "Yet."
"I wonder if that'll be too strong for you." M'Baku tilted his head as he examined the third drink. "Most people can't endure more than one shot worth of the Heart of Wakanda."
"Aj K'uk'ulkan did."
"I know you did not just try to compare yourself to the fish man."
"They call it liquid courage for a reason." He smiled. "I can take anything. Maybe I'm super powerful, too."
The two kings watched him take two gulps of the sunrise drink before he had to put his head down in defeat.
That drink had definitely humbled him.
He hadn't really paid it much mind before, but the room was definitely getting hotter the more he drank, and his vision was slowly becoming altered.
Was the world spinning now?
He peeked up before squeezing his eyes shut.
Fuck.
It was.
The room was sweltering hot, and everything kinda had a pinkish purple aura that sparkled too.
Well.
He peeked up again.
Only M'Baku and Namor sparkled.
And why were they staring at him like that?
Were they drunk or buzzed?
Or did they want another kiss?
Fuck.
Why did they look so handsome?
Handsome?
His mind was spinning and fuzzy, almost as if Cupid had stabbed him in the back when he wasn't looking.
Maybe cupid had, because why else would he want to crawl into M'Baku's lap and beg him to see if melons tasted gross if it was in his mouth again?
What other reason could have him eager to snog Namor?
"Oh fuck." He groaned as he felt pants grow tight at the idea.
He needed to calm down.
Maybe get out?
Touch some grass?
Feel the cold air outside of this crowded place.
M'Baku would probably entertain the idea for a good laugh, but Namor would definitely kill him if they went further than drunk kissing.
At the end of the day, he was just an advisor to the Wakandan council who specialized in American politics and the ploys of the outside world.
There could never be anything.
Not even an experimental fling.
His eyes stung with tears at the thought.
This was beginning to feel frustrating.
He was touch starved and in dire need of relief.
But no one would ever give it here.
Shit, he could hardly get anything back in the States since his divorce.
"Damn it." He mumbled as a few tears fell down his face.
"Are you crying?" Namor blinked at the white man.
"No." Everett hid his face as the god king tried to catch a peek.
"So you're an emotional drunk?" M'Baku chuckled.
"No."
"Then why are you crying?"
"I doon't want to taaalk abouut it." He huffed.
"That acted faster on you than I thought it would." The Jabari king rubbed his back before finishing off the margarita. "Hang in there, little mouse."
"Fuck you. I'm perfectly fine."
"Don't be rude. You are sitting amongst kings." Namor yanked his head up by his hair. "Even if you're drunk, you should act respectfully."
The sting up his hair being pulled was delightful, pulling a soft moan from his lips before he smacked away his hand.
"Don't touch me."
"You moaned." He stated as he looked him over.
"Yeah. Well. Everything looks pink and sparkly, and I'm a little buzzed." Ross huffed. "So, it didn't mean anything. Just like those tipsy ass kisses."
"I told you." M'Baku chuckled. "You're a little mouse. You can't hold liquor well."
"I caaaaannnn." He huffed as he tried to fix his hair. "Wakandan liquor is strooong, but at least I'm nooot nauseous."
"Your face is all pink." Namor pointed out. "And your words are starting to slur. I wasn't aware you had such a filthy mouth."
"It's always beeeeeen filthy. I just keeeeeep it clean around you because you're scary and yoooou can't take a fucking joke."
M'Baku laughed. "He's not wrong."
"He's not wrong until I'm dragging his drunk ass out of here and putting his mouth to use."
"I'm just a little buzzed." He groaned as the god king grabbed his jaw and looked him over. "Stop saaaaying I'm drunk."
"What's my name, little mouse?"
"Aj K'-" Everett didn't get past the first K without his tongue struggling to form the rest of the sounds to complete it.
Fuck.
Why was the Heart of Wakanda so strong?
And why was K'uk'ulkan touching him again?
"Stop fucking touching me, damn it."
He smacked the king's touch away with a frown before shivering under his darkening gaze.
That shiver made Namor chuckle as he got up and downed the rest of his sunrise drink before licking his lips. "Let's take you out for some fresh air."
"Noooooo. I'm fine. Seeee?"
Everett got up, and Everett fell down with a hard thud.
M'Baku couldn't refrain from laughing as he got up and scooped the drunk man off the floor. "You are not fine."
"I'm fiiiiine. Put me down, you big beefy bitch."
"Oh, that mouth of yours is more fun than I realized." M'Baku smacked his ass as he began to carry the tipsy man out of the establishment with Namor not too far behind.
"It bites too."
Namor laughed. "Good."
And Scene!
So, that's kinda what I've been imagining. But it could definitely become more explicit... if I wrote more. What are y'all thinking?!? Is this deserving of more?!? or...? 👀
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Your Voice
Oikawa Tooru X Reader
-In a world where only a few people has a soulmate, and they are burdened with a disability until they meet their other half.
Chapter 5: Someone Else
Oikawa couldn't taste. Thus eating had never been something he enjoys. Unfortunately it wasn't something he can avoid. So, he just shook it off as "I'm not q picky eater" thing.
As a baby, baby food was not something you call delicious so they didn't think much. But when he became a toddler and willingly ate his vegetables his parents were confused. They expected a fuss but nothing.
When his first day of school, he was introduced to the concept of soulmates. When he saw a student who lacked the sense of smell was bullied.
Oikawa found out he had a soulmate when he was 4 years old. He told no one about it, not even his parents. He wanted to blend in with the crowd after all.
When he fell in love with volleyball his resolve became was firm.
He doesn't have a soulmate. Never had and never will. He is Oikawa Tooru, a volleyball athlete.
But it doesn't mean he didn't try looking. He doesn't actually want to be with the soulmate, he just wanted what he lost because of them, his sense. He had no time for his soulmate.
Just like everyone with a soulmate, Oikawa learned sign language when he was 10. It was a must learn thing if you had a soulmate, he of course put it as "I want to be considerate towards those who can't hear." They have no idea what sense their soulmate had lost after all.
And everyday he would be excessive. Despite being firm that he doesn't have one, he always present his best for his soulmate.
With too much cologne in case his soulmate lost their scent. Always looking pretty in case his soulmate lost their sight. Always making sure his skin is smooth and soft(as much as an athlete could at least). And being loud in case his soulmate could be eavesdropping.
Getting in middle school he became popular. He was sociable leaving no one out, not even the blind and deaf. Receiving cookies and such from fans from day to day.
And his most hated event was the Valentine's Day. He'd get practically a year's worth of chocolates and never getting to enjoy it.
There had been a lot of close calls of his secret being revealed. Usually it was during his early years in Aoba Johsai.
As practice ended it was time to rest. The team manager had refilled the bottles and Matsukawa wanted to play a prank.
By mixing some salt to the setter's drink. The team who saw that snickered awaiting to see the disgusted face of the prettiest setter.
When Oikawa came, his throat was dry. Everybody stared at him. When he began drinking everyone was confused.
"Not even a flinch? You'reno fun Oikawa." Matsukawa booed.
Oikawa froze realized something was supposed to happen with his drink.
"I call hacks!" One of his senior hollers.
Iwaizumi took Oikawa's bottle and drank his water only to spat it on Hanamaki, "How did yoh drink that?"
"O-Oh I sometimes drink that at home....?"
"Salted water???"
"It uh... cleanse your colon. I drink evey now and then. "
Since then he's been cautious of everything he ate and drank. He doesn't drink or eat unless he sees someone else do it.
Then finally at the beginning of his final year, Iwaizumi brought you to light.
He felt excited to meet you. Another person who lost a sense. Another chance to regain his taste.
It was during the practice.
His attention was no where but the ball and the court. Upon his jumo he felt a tug at his heart, glancing ever so lightly.
It was you.
You were the only one that got his attention off of volleyball. And he absolutely didn't like that.
He forced his attention back to the ball and when it got to the other side of the court he saw your face flash making land the wrong way.
"Oikawa-kun!!" But the fans needed his attention, so nothing happened.
He turned to the bleachers waving at them, trying not to face you as you were clouding his mind.
That was until a ball hit his head, Iwaizumi dragged Oikawa to where you were.
He saw you and he froze. His heart raced. A thought playing in his head over and over.
Maybe she's the one?
Your E/C twinkled, your lips nervously quivered, your nose was twitching. He couldn't take his eyes off of you.
He hoped you to be the one. He knew it in his heart.
He was entraced, he couldn't be bothered by the line of players.
And when he was brought back by Hanamaki he realized there were others.
He had a plan. As Iwaizumi asked no one to talk ti you, he was going to try talk8ng and not talking to you.
Still not taking his eyes off you, "Hey."
He was waiting for anything. A flinch? A gasp? Anything?
You couldn't hear him. It failed.
Not wanting to get in trouble, "Iwa-Chan you did nor justify her looks. How is that fairly popular?"
You blushed. Oikawa's eyes shown. It was a chance.
After Iwaizumi hit the back of your head and signed, Oikawa pipped.
Maybe she did hear me. Maybe she is the one.
For someone who not even in the slightest wanted to be with his soulmate, he was eager.
"Did she just hear me?" His eyes on you.
When he was attacked by the other two 3rd year, he didn't bother fighting. He wanted to see you react to his voice.
But when you released nothing but your angelic laughter, he was distraught. For once, he wanted a miracle of sort. To get something without working hard and they didn't provide.
He had no chance. He had someone else and so did you.
You weren't each other's soulmate.
Oh if only you had done your research more Oikawa Tooru. How one pronoun could've ended this story.
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Lmao im bad at writting. But chu get it right?????? Tell me if u dont i can prolly explain. mb for the typos and stuff
Hope u leiked it
-kookie-doughs
Taglist?
@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @wormonastringonastick
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Sage’s Colonoscopy Prep
Well, I just can’t help myself ... I wanted to hold off posting any significant content here until I got some kind of resolution from Tumblr regarding my original blog.
But I couldn’t wait... I wrote this as a caption on my “other blog” on that “other” ----lr site. It was a caption on a video, so if you’re able, I recommend taking a look. If not, well, I’m sure your imagination will suffice!
Sage's partner sent me this video to verify he'd followed through on my orders (doctor's orders, nothing more). I'd made an arrangement, you see, to get her trained up to take a long, thick tube up her rear end in order to be sure she'd be able to handle her treatment.
I especially appreciated her squeals of joy and pleasure as she managed to receive and then have the long, slippery plug inserted and then removed from her.
It will be especially enjoyable to have her here in my office and hear her cries of discomfort as I insert the long colon tube up her rectum, past the sigmoid colon and around the bends through her ascending and transverse colon. Having anything that deep inside you pushing and twisting can be quite excruciating when one isn't used to it.
Sage has been very reluctant to come in to see me, you see. She've very nervous about the procedures that I've recommended and has been avoiding the doctor. Never a wise choice.
She needs a colonoscopy and in order to be able to fully see her inside so deeply she needs to be fully clean. How does one get so clean inside? Well, usually there's a series of cleansing laxatives one needs to drink the day before, and an all-liquid diet. By avoiding anything that will fill the colon, and fully expelling the contents, one can be clean as a whistle and be ready for the procedure.
But Sage .... well, she was such a nervous patient that I was certain if I had her complete all the preparation she'd never actually follow through on coming in to see me for the actual procedure. So I'd arranged an alternative cleansing, one that could be done immediately preceding the colonoscopy.
----
Soon she'll be brought in by her partner for her procedure. She has no idea what's coming. He told her that he wants to be sure that she's still healthy after all their playing around and that it would be a quick visit. Alas, it won't be quick, not at all. What's even more embarrassing is that she'll have an audience. Her partner mentioned that she was between jobs and currently uninsured, so I explained that if I could demonstrate the procedure to my interns that I wouldn't have to charge them a dime.
With all 5 of the interns packed into the procedure room with us, I'll be inserting that long, thick colon tube deep within her. She won't like it very much, I'm afraid, but it is necessary. Then I'll fill her full with the hot, soapy enema solution. She'll need to hold it for at least 5-10 minutes, during which I'll discuss her predicament with the interns. I expect they'll have a lot of questions, like...
"Is it okay for her abdomen to look so distended?"
"Can this procedure be performed on any patient, or is there any kind of preparation needed?"
"What sort of pre-visit preparation did Sage need?"
Then it will be time to expel, which I will have her do right in the procedure room on a temporary commode intended for that very purpose. It will be very embarrassing, I'm sure, to release all that liquid and solid waste matter in front of a crowd, not to mention the smells, but it is really unavoidable.
Then I'll repeat the cleansing. We do need her fully clean, you see, so as long as she is expelling waste matter we'll need to repeat the colon tube insertion and release.
That’s right... deep colon-tube cleansing until clear, as they say. Sort of.
I feel a little bit badly for little Sage, having that tube pushed painfully into her bottom over and over again in front of all those strangers, the poor thing. While she's holding it in, I'll probably show the video above once or twice to the class so they can appreciate the kind of pre-visit preparation that works best. By the time she's fully cleaned out she'll be entirely submissive, deep into little space and fully compliant for the colonoscopy.
I can't wait...
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