#Context... which of course this is not the Place for given that we are at sharpe.

[jellyfemmedyke]

okay, i'm spoiling a little (as much as you can spoil a theory-type sociology/philosophy text), because this is from chapter 12, but the excerpt you posted from chapter 8 of whipping girl reminded me of this shit i have annotated with "julia you cannot be serious":

While anti-trans-woman sentiments are generally expressed outside of my view, I still hear about them all the time from my trans male and queer female friends, who often tell me about self-identified dykes in their community who openly discuss lusting after trannybois and trans men one minute, then in the next, deride trans women for being “creepy” and “effeminate.” The popular spin given to this preferential treatment of trans men over trans women states that trans men have been raised female and therefore should have a place in women’s and lesbian communities, whereas trans women have experienced male privilege and remain physically male on some level, and therefore should be excluded. However, this argument makes little sense when examined more closely. After all, how can someone who identifies as female and currently lives as a woman have less in common with women than a male-identified person who has male physical attributes and currently benefits from male privilege? The premise that trans women should be singled out because we “used to be men” is highly suspect. Rather, I believe that this preference for trans men over trans women simply reflects the society-wide inclination to view masculinity as being strong and natural, and femininity as being weak and artificial. In other words, it is a product of traditional sexism.

(bolding mine, i c/p'd a longer part to give context)

julia!!!!!! julia fascists are fucking stupid!!!!!! oh my god!!!! painful. painful and also festering on tumblr dot website

This isn't transphobes seeing trans men as cis women and that's actually misgendering which is wrong and horrible.

it's because masculinity is liked more in society of course! I am very smart!

[3liza]

its kind of an interesting case study in television pretending to be good television without any actual substance. it has all this elaborate bottle episode type framing about setting the story entirely within the superficial world of the resort, but doesnt actually have anything to say about how resorts are just fracking installations with fake-"ethnic" facades. and the bottle episode framing is used like a bludgeon to prevent the audience from thinking about it, because well of course we arent addressing the colonialism except when the white liberal characters bring it up as dinner conversation, the scope of the show isnt supposed to cover it. but it totally fails to create the sort of interesting steam room environments created in previous entries to the genre, like agatha christie as i mentioned, who has many good stories set in resorts and seaside baths and other places rich white people would go to "take the air'. its an ancient genre at this point, with various genre conventions, but an Agatha Christie train or cruise ship or resort story manages to actually be entertaining and white lotus just isnt, except when its using one of its incredible actors as a hobby horse. of course i love watching Jennifer Coolidge do anything, but jingling her like keys in front of a baby (me, im the baby) just isnt enough to excuse how everything else in these hours and hours of TALKING is essentially flat. sure 'these gays are trying to kill me' is great, but she could have done it on tiktok, you know? i dont even remember the context of that line in the progression of the show!

they have one continuing villain but didnt bother casting him. ive never seen that actor before and he is neither interesting or charismatic, he's given no lines, nothing to do, he just sits around and looks menacing. which is true to his representation of the Old White Man Menace at the root of foreign tourism, but like. i know. who cares. in a way he sort of embodies the ongoing problem throughout the show, which is that i just dont give a shit about any of this. "a chain of resorts exist and rich people do things there and nothing matters" is the plot of every season and it's stupid. all of this will be entirely forgotten in between seasons and when it's canceled there will be some half-hearted editorials and then it will fall out of everyone's brain and disintegrate like when your eating alone in youre room and some food falls out of your mouth

this show should be an edward gorey-style pastiche of the conventions but instead its just spending millions of dollars on location shots and endless, uptight dialogue interspersed with montages of the rich white people going to raves with ethnic stereotypes of the "locals". none of them are having any fun and there are zero stakes because they're all terrible people who SHOULD be murdered. it ends up just being a paean to malevolent ennui. maybe thats fresh and interesting to people who arent already radicalized but i think even the "normal people" who think theyre engaging seriously with Prestige Television while watching this show aren't going to remember a single scene as soon as they switch it off and look at their phones

white lotus is, except for its casting, almost entirely mid and forgettable, which is a shame because i think if it took itself like 40% less serious it could be actually great.

[chiropteracupola]

puella adiuva my class-readings are getting in my fic-writing again...

[skid-the-mighty-poet]

[prokopetz]

With DND 5e being set up to cause DM burnout, can you give examples of tabletop systems that facilitate easy DMing? I love running a tabletop game but don't have the time to deal with 5e or homebrew anymore.

(With reference to this post here.)

This is an area where you're going to get a lot of bad advice, because there's no such thing as a tabletop RPG that's "easy to GM" in the abstract. Some systems make greater or lesser demands of the GM's time and skill, but the reason that Dungeons & Dragons has a massive GM burnout problem is a bit more subtle than that – indeed, D&D's GM burnout problem is considerably worse than that of many games whose procedures of play place much greater demands on the GM!

It boils down to the fact that games are opinionated. Even a very simple set of rules contains a vast number of baked-in assumptions about how the game ought to be played; in the case of tabletop RPGs, those baked-in assumptions include assumptions about what kinds of stories the game ought to be used to tell. The players of any given group, of course, also have assumptions – some explicit, many unexamined – about how the game's story ought to go. It's rare that these two sets of assumptions will perfectly agree.

Fortunately, perfect agreement isn't necessary, because tabletop RPGs aren't computer games, and it's always possible to tweak the outputs of the rules on the fly to better suit the desired narrative experience. In conventional one-GM-many-players games like D&D, this responsibility for monitoring and adjusting the outputs of the rules so that they're compatible with the narrative space the group wishes to explore falls principally on the GM.

Now, here's where the trouble starts: the larger the disconnect between the story the rules want to produce and the narrative space the group wants to explore, the more work the GM in a conventional one-GM-many-players context needs to do in order to close that gap. If the disconnect is large enough, the GM ends up spending practically all of their time babysitting the outputs of the rules, at the expense of literally every other facet of their responsibilities.

(Conversely, if that gap is large and isn't successfully closed, you can end up with a situation where engaging with the rules and engaging with the narrative become mutually exclusive activities. This is where we get daft ideas like "combat" and "roleplaying" being opposites – which is nonsense, of course, but it's persuasive nonsense if you've never experienced a game where the rules agree with you about what kind of story you should be telling.)

And here's where the problem with Dungeons & Dragons in particular arises. The rules of D&D aren't especially more opinionated than those of your average tabletop RPG; however, the game has developed a culture of play that's allergic to actually acknowledging this. There are several legs to this, including:

a text which makes claims about the game's supported modes of play that are far broader than what the rules in fact support;

a body of received wisdom about GMing best practices which consists mostly of advice on how to close the gap between the rules' assumptions and the players' expectations (but refuses to admit that this is what it's doing);

a player culture which has become increasingly hostile to players learning or knowing the rules, and positions any expectation that players should learn the rules as a form of "gatekeeping"; and

a propensity to treat a very high level of GMing skill as an entry-level expectation.

Taken together, all this produces a situation where, when the rules and the group disagree about how the game's story ought to go, the players don't experience it as a problem with the rules: they experience it as a problem with the GM. A lot of GMs even buy into this perception themselves, which is how you end up with GM advice forums overflowing with people telling novice GMs that they're morally bad people for being unprepared to tackle very advanced GMing challenges right from the jump.

(At this point, one may wonder: why on Earth would a game develop this sort of culture of play in the first place? Who benefits? Well, what we're looking at in practice is a culture of play which treats novice and casual GMs as a disposal resource whose purpose is to maximise the number of people playing Dungeons & Dragons. Follow the money!)

So, after all of that, the short answer is that there isn't a specific magic-bullet solution to avoiding D&D's GM burnout problem – or, at least, not one that operates at the level of the rules, because there's no particular thing that D&D as a system is doing "wrong" that produces this outcome; the problem operates almost entirely at the play culture level.

In practice, two things need to happen:

Placing a greater expectation on the players to learn and understand the game's rules; and

Selecting a system where the gap between the story the rules want to produce and the narrative space the group wants to explore is small.

It's that second one that's the real trick. In order to minimise that gap, we need to know what kind of narrative space your group wants to explore, and that might not be something you have a good answer to if you don't have good lines of communication with your players.

(As an aside, there's a good chance that we're going to see dipsticks cropping up in the notes insisting that their favourite system short-circuits this problem by being perfectly universal and having no baked-in narrative assumptions. These people are lying to you, and lending credence to the idea that there's any such thing as a universal RPG is a big part of how we got into this mess in the first place!)

[neochan]

THE PROMISCUOUS TUTOR (M) | PART ONE

SERIES MASTERLIST LINK | remember this is part three and a half of a series! read part one & two for context!

PAIRING | tutor!jaemin x reader

SYNOPSIS |  na jaemin is too sexy to be holed up in the campus library, but once you catch wind of what he does between the shelves, you know it’s your time to see just how well his reputation proceeds him.

WC | 15.3k

WARNINGS | cursing, mentions of alcohol, sexual comments, vouyerism, explicit smut, choking, hair pulling, so sorry to the jaehyun stans this chapter :(, pink-haired jaemin. mc does some hoe shit idk.

A.N | tumblr is being stupid and won't let me put it all in one part, so i'm splitting it into two. the next part will be linked on the masterlist / uploaded in a few! please send asks after you finish reading. i want to hear your thoughts!

Typically, the University dining hall is one of the loudest places on campus at any given time.

However, you’re becoming increasingly aware of how eerily silent it is at the ass crack of dawn – and how unbelievably loud Jaemin is.

It’s one thing if he was whisper-yelling about midterms coming up, but the dude was dishing some very personal details while sifting through a pan of scrambled eggs. And there was no whispering.

None.

None at all.

Jaemin wanted to make sure you heard his frustration. So, loud and proud, with his entire chest, he piles a heaping serving of eggs on his plate while conversating at the top of his lungs.

“...then we flipped positions, but she got the angle wrong and bent my dick–”

Jaemin's voice carried across the dining hall, prompting you to offer an apologetic smile to the staff member stationed at the food line. However, he just yawns tiredly and turns around to continue flipping pancakes on the griddle.

They obviously didn’t get paid enough to care about Jaemin and his dick bending episode, so you moved along behind the boy, piling up your own plate with the dining halls incredibly mid breakfast.

“. . . and I didn’t even mean to fall asleep, but we went so many rounds I just closed my eyes for two seconds, next thing I know it’s five am and I wake up to Haechan calling me –”

The mention of his name makes your head snap up. “Haechan?”

Jaemin stops at the soda machine and pours a cool glass of Gatorade into a clear plastic cup. “Yeah, he was totally freaking out, wondering why I hadn’t come home.” He chuckles before moving on to find a table. You grab a water bottle and scurry to keep up. “Like I don’t disappear for pussy all the time.”

At this early hour, you could have had your choice of seats in the café, but in typical Jaemin fashion, he zeroed in on an elevated platform encircling the main dining area. It was a nice spot – next to a cluster of floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the quad and few academic buildings. But again, at this hour, especially with it being a Sunday, there wasn’t much to look at. Just a few workers maintaining the lawn and a solitary squirrel.

It wasn’t like you were going to be staring out the window much though. His words had captured any wandering attention.

"...and he asked if I had heard from you, which is why I texted.” Jaemin scoops up a hearty forkful of scrambled eggs and eagerly pops it into his mouth, a mischievous grin forming on his lips.

The jolt of surprise that courses through your veins is unmistakably reflected in your expression. "Me? Why would he be asking about me?" you blurt out, your nerves getting the best of you.

Shit.

So Haechan had woken up and noticed your absence. A pang of guilt tightens your chest and makes you cringe on the inside. What a shitty thing to do. Take his virginity and then all but bail on him.

But he was cool with it being a one-time thing, you argue with yourself.

Jaemin interrupts your internal debate through a mouthful of pineapple, “I don’t know but he seemed kinda mad. You didn’t piss him off, did you?”

To avoid an immediate answer, you shove a forkful of syrup slathered pancakes into your mouth and chew slowly. When you swallow, it feels like a lump is stuck in your throat. But maybe that was just your guilty conscience trying to choke the life out of you.

“I don’t think I did anything.” You shrug, the words sounding less convincing than you’d hoped. A thought pops into your head, diverting the conversation momentarily, “Wait. You went home to shower, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

You lean in a bit, your tone hushed, “So… did you see him?”

Jaemin cards a hand through his faded pink hair and shakes his head, “I mean yeah, but he just said good morning and shut his door. I invited him to breakfast, but I don’t think he heard me.”

As his words sink in, a mix of relief and concern mingles within you. The last thing you needed was Haechan tagging along to a morning-after-breakfast. That would have made things mega awkward.

The boy you had just fucked and the boy you were wanting to fuck. Add in the fact that they had no idea you were even completing this stupid drunk-induced challenge…

Oh yeah, the challenge. Why the hell did it keep skipping your mind? Like it wasn’t the very thing that got you in this position.

Just the thought of it… well, it made your mind wander (as if it hadn’t been wandering this entire time). And somehow it landed on just how good Jaemin looked this morning. 

He obviously had the after-sex glow - his skin was looking smooth and radiant, eyes bright, and lips a subtle shade of darker pink. The thought of why they were puffy made your thighs quiver - and underneath the dining table, you have to squeeze them together just to breathe properly again.

Was it from Yeji biting them last night? Passionate kisses turning into something much more aggressive? Could it be from him pushing open her thighs and coaxing her through ecstasy with just his tongue? 

The vulgar thoughts circle your brain while you take in the rest of his sleepy, early morning outfit. A bright red hoodie hangs off his shoulders, covering any sort of muscle definition your eyes were itching to see. Not that it truly mattered – your memory was still pretty vivid from the party two nights ago. However, that night, your focus had been solely on Hyuck, which now seemed like an unfortunate missed opportunity.

Especially when he gets up to dump his plate in the dirty dish bin, and your eyes follow his tight cargo pants. What exactly was hiding beneath the black fabric? 

Technically, you already knew thanks to the video he shared the night all this challenge stuff was created.

But a little reminder couldn’t hurt.

Jaemin returns to the table with a fresh glass of blue Gatorade, and when he sits down, his eyes wash over your body like he was mirroring what you were just doing. Did he catch you? Is that why he did that?

He doesn’t give any hints. Just raises an eyebrow playfully, the rim of his cup poised between his lips. "I know you were avoiding the question, but why are you up this early?" he teases, his voice a blend of curiosity and amusement.

A chuckle escapes your lips as you spear a piece of fruit with your fork. It was good to think quick in these situations, but the answer that comes out of your mouth might have been the stupidest thing you’d ever said, "I was planning to go on a run."

You don’t run. Especially not on a Sunday morning.

His lips curl into a mischievous smile, his gaze dancing with a hint of skepticism. "But your hair is wet."

Glancing down at your slightly damp hair, you feel a blush tint your cheeks. You hadn’t even realized. After your dizzying thoughts of Jaemin in the shower, you had been so excited to meet him for breakfast that you forgot to blow dry your hair, "Yeah, I showered."

Jaemin leans forward, his expression mockingly serious. "Before the run?"

Your laughter bubbles forth, a mixture of embarrassment and amusement. "Well, you wanted to grab breakfast, so I thought I’d take a quick shower.”

A grin tugs at Jaemin's lips, his intrigue growing. "But you're a night showerer."

With a playful roll of your eyes, you respond, "Is this a full-scale investigation now? Am I on trial?"

Jaemin breaks into hearty laughter, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Just trying to solve the mysteries of the morning, you know."

Relief stretched through your body like an adrenaline chaser. “Well, I hate to disappoint Mr. Detective, but there’s no mystery here. I just got up early and was gonna hit the gym, but you texted me first.” You put the fruit back onto your plate, too worked up to take a bite, “Next time, I’ll ignore your text.”

“Hey!” he frowns.

“Kidding.” You remark, “But I think I’ll skip the gym instead and take a nap. I’m not used to waking up this early…”

“Just make sure you’re at the library by one. Would hate to miss your free tutoring session.” He pushes back from the table, and you do the same, gathering all your half-eaten dishes from the world’s fastest breakfast date.

“Do you want me to pay you? I have no problems giving you cash.”

“Nah, I like helping out a friend.” He bumps your elbow as you walk down the ramp to the main dining floor. The surge of electricity that snaps through your body takes you by surprise. Maybe this breakfast was a little higher tension than you were aware of.

You drop all your dishes into the dirty dish bin and walk side by side with Jaemin out on the quad. There was still no one in sight, even as the sun started to bloom full light over the bright green shrubbery.

“Don’t say I never offered to pay.”  You giggle.

“Nah, don’t worry. If I wanted something in return, it wouldn’t be money.” He just stares at you, a deadpan look with no emotion.

You, on the other hand, have many emotions crossing your face – shock, disbelief, curiosity, intrigue.

“I’m kidding.” He snorts.

You stumble over your words, “Y-Yeah, duh.”

“Alright, I’ll catch you at one. Don’t be late!” He reminds, walking backwards as he wiggles a warning finger at you. He spins around, almost tripping over a loose brick on the pathway in the process.

As he retreats into the backdrop of trees, headed back to the boy's dormitory on the far side of campus, you find yourself wishing to follow. Maybe you could catch some sleep in his bed, enveloped by the sweet smell of Jaemin (that being hair dye and Dior Savauge).

Instead, you begrudgingly drag your feet in the opposite direction. Back to your lonely dorm where you would fall asleep in an empty bed that smelled like nothing but yourself.

“We’ve wanted this for a while.”

Haechan looks up at you from between your legs and licks his puffy lips. His finger draws lazy circles around your clit, and it feels wonderful.

You could watch him like this forever, but what drags your attention away is the second set of lips attaching to your neck. Nothing had warned you of his presence before, but now you were on full alert. He sucks bruises against your skin, hands running up and down your body until you were left shaking into his touch.

“Jaemin?”

The pink haired boy draws back and sits on his heels, a goofy grin spread out.

“Yes princess?”

Your head is on a swivel now. From Haechan’s chocolate brown eyes and mischievous smirk to the way Jaemin was eyeing your exposed chest.

“You okay sweetheart?” Jaemin takes a singular finger and tips your chin upwards, “How about you just lay back and let us take care of you.”

Haechan speaks up, “Tell us which one makes you cum harder, okay?” Two fingers pinch your clit, making you jerk against Jaemin, “Like a bet.”

Like a bet.

Like a bet.

In the hazy realm between dreams and reality, your eyes flutter open, greeted by the harsh reality of full sunlight streaming through the curtains. Panic instantly surges through you as you glance at the clock – it's later than it should be. With a sudden jolt, you sit up, your mind racing to comprehend.

The realization hits like a tidal wave: you're late for your tutoring session with Jaemin. You fumble with the sheets, untangling yourself in a hurry, and your heart pounds with each passing second. Your phone, lying neglected on the nightstand, taunts you with its unmissed alarms.

“Oh fuck.”

The room spins with the remnants of the vivid dream. Jaemin and Haechan... at the same time. Jaemin’s arms around you, Haechan between your thighs. The wetness there now seems unavoidable, but there was no time.

Your phone lights up with another text from Jaemin. Grabbing it, you hastily read through.

(1:01 PM) Manwhore: yo, you on ur way?

(1:04 PM) Manwhore: helloooo?

(1:07 PM) Manwhore: don’t tell me you forgot

(1:08 PM) Manwhore: if you don’t text me back or get here in the next five minutes, I’m literally going to fuck your roommate again.

Wish you would fuck me as a punishment, you think, but type out a different response.

(1:09 PM) Y/N: you’d fuck her anyway.

(1:09 PM) Y/N: I overslept. Be there in five.

Another glance over your messages and you realize the same roommate he was threatening to fuck has also been bombarding you with a flurry of messages.

(10:01 AM) Roomie!!: I feel like I never see you

(10:52 AM) Roomie!!: I wanted to wake you up but you weren’t here literally all night…

(11:09 AM) Roomie!!: I left you a muffin on the counter <3

(12:36 PM) Roomie!!: Can we please talk tonight? Or hangout? Or go to the movies? Literally anything??? I miss you!

You shoot her a quick message, saying sorry and promising to catch up with her tonight. Man, you've really missed her. There's this itch to spill everything, spill the beans about the stupid bet, but at the same time, you're not sure if you should. It's like walking on eggshells, ya know?

One thing was apparent though. She could never know about these filthy dreams. How desperate you were to be underneath your best friends…that was a secret you must keep.

Speaking of best friends, you had one waiting impatiently at the library for you to hurry the fuck up. No matter if you were just dreaming about him sucking on your neck.

You snatch the nearest clothes and quickly slide on your shoes in a rush. Carelessly, you throw textbooks into your backpack. Grabbing the muffin Jennie left for you on the counter, you swing your backpack over your shoulder and scramble out the door.

“Stupid fucking stairs” you mutter underneath your breath, hurtling down all five flights in a rush.

“What did the stairs ever do to you.” The voice startles you, nearly causing you to trip.

“What the hell, Haechan.” Great, the other half of your dream has just materialized. “What are you doing in the girls dorm.”

He grins, keeping pace with you down the flights. “Visiting a lady friend.”

“Truth. Now.”

He sighs, “Group project.”

“Sounds about right.” You reach the bottom of the staircase and push open the door that spills out onto the quad.

The fleeting thought of sprinting away crosses your mind, but you dismiss it. Instead, you glance over your shoulder, watching him struggle with his backpack straps. His hair is a fluffy brown mess, wind tousling it. A faded graphic design t-shirt hangs off his collarbones, with matching sweatpants that seem two sizes too big.

He's such a loser, you think affectionately.

“So…” He muses, catching up to you and bumping your arm with his elbow, “Why’d you dip this morning?” There’s a tinge of hurt in the question but you choose to ignore it.

You shrug, “Met up with Jaemin for breakfast…you were sleeping so I didn’t want to bother you.”

The campus has come alive since your last outing. Students lounge on the quad, soaking in the dwindling sunlight before fall strips away the warmth. You wish you could join them and forget about your trivial problems.

"Weird. Because he invited me too," he keeps his head down, focusing on his worn-out sneakers navigating the uneven brick paving the campus.

“He told me.” You don’t know what Haechan was getting at. Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have dipped, but…what else were you supposed to do?

“Surprised your legs are working.”

“Haechan.” You shriek, slapping his shoulder. Where the hell did that come from.

He laughs loudly, “I’m just saying. Maybe that’s why you were so mad at the stairs. Hurt a bit?” Yeah, he was feeling cocky. Confident. Cause here was this beautiful girl next to him, who just so happened to be his best friend, and who also sat on his cock last night. He felt on top of the world.

“I’m fine.” You seethe, “And just so we’re clear, we aren’t telling anyone about this.”

Bummer. He rolls his eyes, “Yeah, I know. You want to keep the best sex of your life a secret. No sweat.”

“I swear to god Haechan –”

“Oh, calm down princess. I’m not gonna tell anyone. Our little secret.” He winks at you and a hot blush spreads over your cheeks.

Fuck him and fuck his stupid pet names.

“Round two?” He braces for the swat that comes his way, another laugh slipping past his lips, “Okay, okay. I’ll stop joking around.”

You want to feel annoyed, but you're just glad to have your best friend back—the one who makes inappropriate jokes at your expense. Maybe that's greedy of you, expecting everything to go back to normal after taking his virginity.

But it’s what he wanted…. So get over it Y/N, you think.

Round two didn’t sound so bad though…especially after that stupid fucking dream you just had.

“Where you headed?” he asks, pulling on the straps of his backpack.

“Library. Jaemin’s tutoring me. And I’m late.” You reply. He was really gonna kick your ass if you didn’t hurry up.

“How great. I’m on my way there too. Gotta finish this stupid presentation.”

You glance at him, catching his face scrunch up.

“Got something else you want to say?” you question. It looked like he was physically in pain. Yet, knowing him, he was just holding himself back from saying something inappropriate.

“Promise not to hit me.”

You raise your eyebrows.

“Well…I was just gonna say, if you want help relaxing after the draining tutoring session you’re about to have…”

Bingo. You knew him soooo well.

“You’re impossible Haechan.”

“One of my redeeming qualities I must say.”

The library comes into view. Fucking finally. It felt like ages since you left your dorm.

You decide to snark back at him. “You know…on second thought.” It almost makes you feel bad the way his eyes spark up, “I would but, I got plans…”

His response is firm and unwavering. "Cancel them."

Locking eyes with him proves to be a mistake as you realize he's dead serious. "Can't, sorry," you pout.

He strides ahead, swinging open the library door with a grand gesture. You roll your eyes, heading straight for the back wall where the individual study rooms are located.

"Y/n," he whispers, silently urging you to reconsider. "Think about it."

Ignoring him, your attention is diverted when you spot Jaemin, who also catches sight of you through the glass separating the main floor from the study rooms. He rolls his eyes and taps his wrist as a mock reminder of your tardiness.

"Y/n," Haechan whines, a plea echoing the same tone as the night before.

Choosing to play with him once more, you tease, "Sorry, Haechannie. Plans, remember?" Leaning in, you cup his ear and blow a cool breath, feeling him shiver. "But you can think about me when you jerk off later."

He watches in shock as you saunter away, pushing open the study room door to apologize profusely to Jaemin. The bulge in Haechan's pants goes unnoticed until he tears his eyes away. "God damn."

Na Jaemin is disgustingly attractive.

And so, so distracting.

How were you supposed to study binomial distributions when he sat on the opposite side of the table looking like that. 

The red hoodie he had on this morning has been discarded, replaced by a t-shirt with rolled-up sleeves that showcased his toned biceps. As he shifted around the scattered textbooks, his tongue peeked out between his lips in concentration.

Jaemin’s presence plus the constant remembrance of the dream only amplified your struggle to stay focused.

Instead, your (lovely) brain decided to entertain you with intense fantasies of clawing at his biceps while you rode him. You’re sure he’s a groaner. It’s almost visual in your head, the way he’d tip his head back and growl at the feeling of you splitting yourself on his cock. You know he talks you through it too.

“Got any guesses on the size?”

"W-What?" You stammer, a twinge of anxiety hitting you, concerned you might have been caught daydreaming.

Jaemin cards a hand through his hair and smirks, “The sample size, y/n? Have you not been paying attention for the last twenty minutes?? We’re trying to solve for the sample size.” He blows air through his teeth in annoyance, “I swear it feels like I’m just doing your homework for you sometimes.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just tired.” You mutter, “How about I do the next five by myself and have you check over them after?”

"Sounds good. Don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions," he responds casually, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning his attention back to his own work.

It annoyed you how smart he was too. And he rarely got distracted when he was studying. It’s like he gets automatically switched to hyperfocus mode. Nothing breaks his concentration. It’s such a weird version of Jaemin, but one that you’ve grown accustomed too during the study sessions. Any other time of day and he’s chatting up girls and doing stupid dares that normally got him in trouble with the campus police. It’s happened too many times to count.

The gods favor him, you think, beauty and brains.

Your gaze inadvertently shifts to the main floor of the library. Through the transparent walls, you see Haechan sitting at his own table. He looked bored, his lips set in a pout and a crease drawn between his eyebrows. Bored and frustrated. But he also looked good as hell.

He pushes his hips up to get comfortable in the hard plastic chair he was in, and the grey sweatpants do nothing to hide the painfully obvious outline of his cock. Arousal bells start going off in your head, and you think you might just faint out of pure horniness.

You watch him pick up his phone.

A buzz sounds on the table, coming from your own phone.

(1:51 PM) Weird guy from the street: stop staring at me

There’s literally no way he could have known you were looking at him unless he had been sneaking glances at you too. The thought makes you blush.

(1:51 PM) Y/N: not staring at u weirdo

(1:52 PM) Y/N: simply looking through the window

(1:52 PM) Y/N: not my fault ur big ass head is blocking the view

You peak at him, and this time he’s looking dead at you with a big frown on his face.

(1:52 PM) Weird guy from the street: okay ouch

(1:53 PM) Weird guy from the street: but ur eyes r literally burning holes in me

(1:53 PM) Weird guy from the street: if you wanna fuck so bad, just meet me upstairs :)

A snort sounds at the back of your throat, catching Jaemin's attention as he glances up from his textbook.

"Just searching for the equation I need," you confess sheepishly, raising your phone in explanation.

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything, so you go back to texting.

(1:54 PM) Y/N: u wish loser

From the other side of the glass, you watch him throw you a middle finger.

(1:54 PM) Weird guy from the street: okay but seriously meet me upstairs

(1:54 PM) Weird guy from the street: it’s SERIOUS!!!

(1:55 PM) Weird guy from the street: i promise 

(1:55 PM) Weird guy from the street: swear on jeno’s hockey career

(1:55 PM) Weird guy from the street: don’t tell him i swore on that or he’ll kick my ass again

(1:55 PM) Weird guy from the street: just meet in the geology section.. never seen anybody up there

You send a final text

(1:56 PM) Y/N: fine, but if this is a trick, i’m kicking your ass.

Your chair emits a loud scraping sound as you push it back to stand up. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom before my brain explodes. Be right back.” You explain, and Jaemin nods.

The echo of your footsteps resonates through the quiet library as you navigate your way to the geology section. The fluorescent lights above flicker intermittently, casting occasional shadows that dance along the bookshelves. You can't help but wonder why Haechan chose such a weird ass place to meet.

Decorative rocks are showcased throughout this section of the library, and in the back of your mind you wonder who in their right mind would study geology. Rocks?

“Took you long enough.” Haechan teases, emerging from the shadows between two bookshelves. You squint at him, your eyes still adjusting to the unexpected appearance.

"Why do you have to be so extra?" you quip, recovering from the surprise. It's the second time today he's managed to catch you off guard.

"Extra is my middle name, darling," he grins, leaning casually against the shelves. You secretly wish they would give in and collapse just for the sake of a good laugh.

"Cut the dramatics, Haechan. Why am I here?" you demand, crossing your arms.

"I want to know what you’re doing with Jaemin," he deadpans, peering up through his long lashes. "Because for the past thirty minutes or so, you've been practically drooling over him." He checks his wrist adorned with a silver watch you gifted him last Christmas, "And I've been keeping track, by the way. Don't bother denying it; I've got eyes everywhere."

You roll your eyes, annoyance creeping in. "That's bordering on stalker behavior, you know."

He casually shrugs, unfazed. "Answer the question."

"I'm studying with Jaemin. What else would I be doing?" you retort, finding the situation utterly ridiculous.

"Sure, you're not one of his study buddies?" Haechan drawls, dragging out the second-to-last word and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. You resist the urge to roll your eyes again, realizing you've walked right into his stupid trap.

You glare pointedly. “Just because you caught me looking at another man that isn’t you doesn’t mean I want to fuck him.”

“Oh sweetheart, I didn’t say anything about fucking him.” Haechan replies with a sly grin.

“You implied it!” You huff, jabbing him in the chest with a manicured finger.

He clutches the spot and winces at pain. “Damn your nails are sharp.”

“Why am I really up here.” You were becoming impatient. Perhaps you should have known that Haechan would waste your time. There was nothing of importance for you between these stupid, dusty, rock filled shelved.

A part of you did know it, though. And that part was practically begging Haechan to shove you against the shelves and start fucking your brains out.

You squash that part down. Deep down.

Haechan sighs and takes a tentative step backwards, “Honestly, I was bored and just wanted to mess with you.” You open your mouth to chastise him, but he cuts you off before you can, “But now that we’re on the topic of fucking Jaemin –”

“Don’t think we’re on the same topic here.” You interject.

He keeps going without missing a beat, “I just thought you should know about his....habits” His face beams in pride, as if this super-secret tidbit of information could solve world hunger.

"His habits?"

Haechan takes a step towards you, "Yeah...his dirty, filthy habits."

"What are you getting at Haechan?"

The boy in front of you, eyes you up and down before speaking slowly, "You're telling me you don't know?"

You narrow your eyes at Haechan, feeling a mix of confusion and suspicion. "Know what exactly? Stop beating around the bush and just spit it out."

Haechan smirks, relishing the moment. "I just thought you should know that he fucks girls here after hours."

“In the geology section?” You question, skepticism etching your features.

“In the library dumbass.” Haechan retorts, a playful smirk dancing on his lips. His eyes lock onto yours, daring you to challenge him.

“Yeah right.”

He stomps his foot in a childlike manner. “I’m serious.”

Your disbelief lingers. "I don't believe you. It's literally patrolled by security after hours," you assert, your arms crossing defensively over your chest.

Haechan rolls his eyes, seemingly accustomed to your skepticism. "Y/n, me and Jeno used to think Jaemin was rocking your shit back when he started tutoring you."

A wry smile creeps onto your face. "How lovely."

“I mean, now we know you just need help with stats –”

“It’s a hard subject.” You defend yourself.

Sure, you’d never been good at math like others, but statistics was a hard class. And your professor made it even more boring with her monotoned voice.

“I know, cheated my way through an A.” Haechan admits, flashing a beaming smile. “Anyways, he has an entire roster of girls he brings to the library after hours. Honestly, you’re the only girl I’ve seen him actually tutor.” The soft glow of the library lights casts a warm hue on the leather-bound volumes that surround you and you notice it illuminates the curve of Haechan’s jaw too.

“Haechan, I swear if this is a prank or a set up.”

He gives another stomp to the worn-out carpet, "Why would I be lying about this?" he insists, his expression genuinely serious. "You know what, meet me here Friday night at nine thirty."

“The library closes at eight.”

“Back entrance is always open.” He winks at you, and you playfully swat his arm. “Gonna prove that I’m not lying.”

“Whatever.”

You find yourself baffled by Haechan's sudden revelation about Jaemin's supposed "dirty habits." There's a lingering question in your mind – why is Haechan even sharing this information with you in the first place? As the absurdity of the situation sinks in, you can't help but wonder what prompted him to bring you to this secluded spot just to share peculiar details about Jaemin's life.

Is he threatened by your sudden interest - if he really was catching on to the fact that you were after Jaemin.

A few beats pass before he’s nudging your shoulder. “So?” He jostles your arm with his own until you swat at him again, “You’ll meet me here?”

“Sure, Haechan.” In truth, you had nothing better to do. And maybe you could use this to your advantage. The next part of this stupid challenge was to fuck Jaemin anyways, and what better way than to use his rendezvous spot to do so.

If Haechan was telling the truth.

“We should make out.”

You slide your eyes to his and cock your head, “In your dreams Hyuckie.”

The day was winding down, and the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the university campus. You trudged back to your dorm, feeling the exhaustion from a day filled with studying and more homework than you could manage.

Echoes of distant laughter and the occasional sound of a slamming door fill the hallways as you climbed the stairs to your floor, anticipation building to catch up with your roommate, Jennie.

You didn’t mean to completely ghost her the last couple weeks, but between classes and the challenge…well, you had your mind full.

The door is swinging open before you can get your key in the lock, and you’re met face to face with her.

"Well, look who finally decided to show up! I swear I never see you anymore. You leave before I’m up and come home after I’m asleep!"

Apologizing, you step inside and close the door behind you, embracing your roommate. "I know, I know. It's been crazy lately," you admit, setting your bag down and following her to the living room.

Jennie raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me." she teased.

"Never.” It’s true. Jennie was the one person in the world who you could relax around. “So, what’s been up with you.”

She sighed dramatically, as if she'd been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, and plops down on the couch. You do the same. “Sorority stuff, you know how it is. Rush week is killing me. Drama, drama, drama. Oh, and did I mention Jaehyun broke up with his girlfriend? The whole campus is losing its mind over him, including maybe me," she added with a sly grin.

Your eyes widen at the news. "Jaehyun broke up with his girlfriend? That's big news! Why did they break up?" you inquired, curious about someone else’s drama.

Maybe it could distract you from your own.

Jennie leaned in, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "No one knows for sure, but there are rumors. Apparently, she cheated on him.”

“Why on earth would she cheat on him?”

She giggles, “That’s what I’m saying! He’s like the hottest guy on campus. She’s definitely mental if she cheated on him. If he was mine…”

“Make him yours.”

“Y/N!” she giggles and playfully shoves your arm.

You break out in a smile too, “Well, if he is single, now’s your chance!”

Jennie shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Who knows?” She tugs a blanket off the back of the couch and wraps it around her thin body, “Anyways, enough about me. What’s been keeping you so busy? You haven't even had time for Mark. He's been asking about you by the way."

You sighed, feeling guilty for neglecting your friends. "Classes have been crazy, and Jaemin and I have been hitting the books together. Speaking of which, he's been a lifesaver. I wouldn't survive this semester without him."

Jennie smirked playfully. "Oh, Jaemin, huh? Is there something I should know?"

You rolled your eyes, swatting her arm this time. "No, nothing like that. He's just a great study partner."

She raised an eyebrow, a knowing expression on her face. "Sure, just a study partner?”

It funny how fast you break into a cold sweat.

“W-What do you mean?”

“I mean..” She drags the words out and for a second you think she’s gonna accuse you of sleeping with him. Or at least accuse you of having the hots for him. “I’ve studied with him. So, I know that studying doesn’t always mean studying.”

“Oh my god. You think I’m fucking him?”

I haven’t yet, you think.

“I’m just asking!”

“No, I promise he’s just helping me with stats homework.” You hold up two fingers, “Scouts honor.”

She rolls her eyes, “Look, I wouldn't blame you if you were sleeping with him. Been there done that.”

You wonder if she’s one of the girls Haechan seemed so sure Jaemin fucked in the library after hours. It’s not like you would ever ask her. But your mind wanders nonetheless.

“Trust me, I’m not.”

“Maybe you should.” She suggests in thought, “I mean he definitely knows his way around a girls body.”

You cover your eyes in embarrassment, “Oh my god, gross!”

She holds up her hands like she’d been caught, “I think you need to let loose. Just giving you a recommendation.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Speaking of letting loose, I have a sorority event this Friday, and I want you to come. It's a big reveal for my little, and I want you there."

You hesitate. "I appreciate the invite, but I'm actually hanging out with Haechan that night."

There’s a part of you that wants to add the fact that you’re really just trying to catch Jaemin in the act of fucking in the library. But with the way the conversation just went…maybe that was best kept to yourself.

Jennie's expression shifted from excitement to a subtle disappointment. "Come on! I never see you anymore. Can't you ditch Haechan for one night? It'll be a blast, and you'll get to meet some great people. Plus, you need a break from that annoying prick."

You forget that Jennie doesn’t like Haechan, recalling drunken nights where she spent hours cursing him out for embarrassing her during her own rush experience. Apparently, he was her date and got too drunk which ended in him throwing up all over her dress. It’s a miracle she got a bid for the house she wanted.

Feeling a bit guilty, you sighed. "Alright, fine. I'll come. But only because you're my best friend, and I miss spending time with you."

Jennie's face lit up, and she practically squealed in delight. "Yes! It's going to be so much fun. You won't regret it."

The night stretched on with the two of you quickly settling into the cozy routine of a girls’ night in. You ordered some delicious takeout, stocked up on snacks, and found yourselves comfortably sprawled on the couch with episodes of Love Island playing on the tv. Fairy lights twinkled over your entangled figures as you both became engrossed in the latest romantic drama on the screen.

It was a nice reprieve from the boys you’d been constantly drowning around.

But watching the couple on screen makes your mind drift to thoughts of Jaemin. His body caging you against the wall of a study room, eventually laying you back on the table scattered with textbooks and eating you out. His pink hair caught between your fingers…

The thoughts worm their way into your dreams when you and Jennie eventually drift off to sleep, curled on the couch, not wanting the night to end.

Aside from the frat parties, drunken nights, and time well spent with friends, college was actually very fucking boring.

The week breezes by with boring lectures, hastily eaten lunches, and so much damn homework that you genuinely begin to think you’re drowning. You almost turn in a quiz too late on Monday and decide from then on that you’d lock yourself away till your schedule looked a little less hectic.

And that led to a very boring and very sleepy Friday.

The lecture hall was dimly lit, and the professor's monotone voice droned on about the intricacies of music theory. You were struggling to keep your eyes open, staring blankly at the notes you'd given up on comprehending. The only thing getting you through this intolerable day was the weekend ahead (Even though you had to meet Mark on Saturday for a stupid group project), and the coffee you had gotten with Jennie that morning.

She made sure to dutifully remind you of her sorority event that night, which in turn reminded you of your library date with Hyuck.

Like you could forget.

After that, and your morning stats class (where you promptly took a little nap despite your determination to genuinely understand the subject), you met up with Jeno for lunch. It wasn’t so bad, until Jaehyun crashed at the table and stole Jeno’s attention to talk about hockey plays for their game on Sunday.

Awkwardly trying to avoid him and the rumors that were spreading on campus (and because you had no idea what a bar down or hat-trick was), you promptly left and got to your music theory lecture early.

Which at this moment felt like a place where pretty things came to die.

You couldn't help but let out a quiet sigh. The boredom was reaching unbearable levels, and you questioned your life choices that led you to enroll in this class. It’s not like you needed it to graduate. The spot was simply open, and you needed another class.

Just as you were contemplating an escape plan, the door swung open with a loud bang.

Mark rushed in, disheveled and panting. Everyone turned to stare at him, including you. He apologized to the professor, who simply gestured for him to take a seat. You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the sight.

Mark Lee was…a character. You met him through Hyuck, who introduced him as the love of his life. Mark had grinned awkwardly and shuffled away from Haechan’s body after that comment, instead choosing to question you about your major and interests. It was then that you both became friends too. Albeit, casual friends. (Except for the one time freshman year that you had hooked up in the science building bathroom)

He was there to gossip with, grab lunch, and aid you through music theory (which you didn’t know a damn thing about). He was exceptionally talented and hardworking, show cased through his double major in theology and music theory. A weird combination, but after getting to know his religious background and affinity for guitar playing, you thought it was perfectly spot on for him.

Like Jaemin, he dyed his hair bright ass colors whenever he was on the verge of a breakdown. This weeks’ color was black with silver sideburns. Somehow, he pulls it off quite well.

"What's up?" you whispered to Mark as he settled into the chair beside you.

He looked worn out. It was barely one pm, but the ruffled hair, wrinkled clothes, and half on-half off jacket, makes him look like he’d been hit by a tornado on his way to class.

His mouth is set in a flat line when he glances over at you, “Hyuck, is what’s up.”

“Hyuck?”

The professor sends a pointed glare at the two of you, and mark smiles sheepishly before leaning in to tell you the rest, his voice hushed, “Yeah. Went over to his dorm to grab my notebook that I left last night, and the dumbass was wasted.”

“Like, drunk?” you question, because as you recall, it was barely one pm.

“Drunk as fuck.” Mark deadpans.

Your eyebrows shoot up, “It’s the middle of the day?”

“Yeah, I told him that many, many times.” Mark digs around his backpack, trying to find a pencil to catch up on the lecture he missed, “All he kept doing was stumbling around, asking for cheesecake–”

When you open your mouth to question it, Mark cuts you off.

“I don’t really know why.” When he finds the pencil at the bottom of his bag, he snorts in triumph and continues, “So he kept asking for cheesecake, started bawling when I told him there was none, and finally, when I wrestled him into his bed, he started telling me about you.”

Your body freezes impossibly fast, gaze nervously darting around the room. Maybe if you didn’t look Mark in the eyes, then you could forget what he said and pretend that the words never left his mouth.

No, of course not. Time to bite the bullet.

“Me?” You squeak.

“He told me a lot about you actually.” The way Mark is looking, his arms crossed and an expression that can only be described as accusatory, can mean only one thing.

“He told you about…”

You want to leave the lecture hall and punch Lee Donghyuck yourself when mark responds.

“Yep.”

“Fuck.” You should have known Hyuck couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “What did he say.”

It was Marks turn to glance around the room, just in case anyone was listening in. When all is clear, his voice drops even lower, “He said you guys fucked after Jaehyuns party. And that it was the best sex of his life – well, the only sex of his life. Was he telling the truth?”

Now’s your chance to lie and set the record straight that you never slept with Haechan. Though, with Mark’s tone, you already knew that he knew the right answer.

“Yeah…We did, but it was just a convenience thing. He happened to be at the right place, at the right time. It was nothing more than that.”

Oh, how you wished those words were true.

It would severely less-complicate things.

Mark chuckles nervously, “I’d avoid him if I were you. Because dude, it was so much more than that to him.”

Your biggest fear is confirmed with his words. How dumb could you be to think that taking his virginity wouldn’t lead to him having some weird clingy attitude towards you. You should have known better.

“I can’t avoid him. I have to meet with him tonight.” You hiss.

Mark shrugs, “I don’t know if he’ll even be awake, dude passed out hard. I mean, I set his alarms, so who knows.”

“Maybe…”

“Anyways, dude �� OW!”

A flying drumstick clips Mark in the head, and he hurriedly rubs the spot, wincing. The professor, arms crossed, looks at the both of you in displeasure.

Bursting into a fit of giggles, you realize that this day was definitely not going to be boring anymore.

As you sit in your cozy apartment engrossed in a book, your phone buzzes, pulling you out of the fictional world. Glancing at the screen, you see a text from Hyuck.

(8:52 PM) Weird guy from the street: can you come open the door

(8:52 PM) Weird guy from the street: my key isn’t working for some reason

Your eyebrows furrow as you read the message "Key? Hyuck has a key?" You mutter to yourself. You've always assumed that when he showed up randomly at your apartment, it was because Jennie, your roommate, had let him in.

Curiosity gets the better of you, and you head to the door. As you swing it open, there stands Hyuck.

"Hey," he greets, a indefinable glint in his eyes. "Can I come in?"

You step aside, allowing him entry, "When did you get a key?”

He chuckles nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Well, I don't have a key. That's the thing."

You cross your arms and pop an eyebrow, "You literally just texted me saying your key isn’t working."

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Hyuck…” You grumble, “How is it that you randomly show up in the apartment then?”

He smirked, teasingly. "Magic. Or maybe Jennie's magic. I just show up, and the door opens. But seriously, I don't have a key."

You decide to drop the matter. It really wasn’t worth the headache of going back and forth with him. Besides, you really should have caught on sooner. Jennie didn’t like him, yet he was always here to pester you.

“Right…. Are you still drunk?”

“That, I am not.” He walks further into the apartment and starts messing with the stack of papers on the counter – shuffling them. “Mark made sure to leave me the usual hangover cure on my nightstand, so I don’t feel sick either.”

“You know, it’s not really proper to get drunk in the middle of the school day.” You chastise him. There’s not really a reason as to why you’re lecturing him. Can’t a friend just be worried about her other very problematic friend?

His counter comes quick, “I never claimed to be proper. If you took a walk inside my brain, you’d understand.” When you meet his gaze, he gives you a teasing wink. “Now are we ready to go see some girl get her back blown out.”

“Not the words I would use.” You mutter, grabbing your keys and phone off the coffee table in the living room and following Hyuck to the library for the second time that week.

Surprising to you, he keeps the banter to a minimum during the entire five-minute walk. Only once does he comment on your outfit, even though it was a totally normal outfit. Yet according to him you were wearing a ‘too-short cheerleading skirt that showed your ass way too much.’

Besides the one little quip, he kept his mouth shut.

What was even more surprising (as if anything could top Haechan shutting up), was that the library was way too easy to break in to.

Well, does it count as breaking in if it was left unlocked?

According to Hyuck, no. To authorities, probably.

Navigating back to the geology section was easy. All you had to do was take the staircase in the back. Honestly though, it was a bit creepy. The empty library creaked and echoed at the slightest touch. Hyucks heavy steps on the stairs made you jump which made him break his silence and tease you for the rest of the way up.

You didn’t realize this before, but the geology section perfectly overlooked the main floor of the library. Provided, there was a bookshelf blocking the ledge, which added another layer of privacy.

Hm…Hyuck wasn’t a liar.

Na Jaemin was in fact in the library, with a girl at his side, studying, after hours.

Yet, that’s all they were doing – studying. The girl furiously scribbled in her notebook while Jaemin watched. He points out what you assume to be a mistake and the girl giggles, flipping over her pencil to scrub the paper with the eraser.

There’s no denying that they sat closer than normal. She leaned into Jaemins shoulder, and his hand was under the table – probably resting on her thigh. But nothing out of the ordinary seemed to be occurring.

You go to turn around and confront Hyuck. Maybe tell him to shove a rock up his ass. But the front of his body hits your back, caging you against the bookshelf.

“Hyuck…” you warn, voice low.

“Just watch.” He murmurs, arms encircling your waist to pull you closer.

Marks words lick up your spine like a fire, singing every nerve in your body.

It meant so much more to him.

Haechan's exhalations reach you in delicate, soft wafts, caressing the back of your neck and eliciting a tingling sensation as the hairs on your skin stand on end. "See." he murmurs. A shiver runs through you as he traces his fingers along your arms, whispering, "I don't want to say I told you so, but..." he clicks his tongue, nosing your shoulder, "I told you so."

Your gaze remains fixed as Jaemin playfully pulls the girl onto his lap, their textbooks now abandoned and ignored. As she molds herself against him, the hem of her shirt lifts, and Jaemin's fingers instinctively find the revealed skin, tracing intricate patterns. At some point, his hand slips entirely under her t-shirt and drags higher and higher. You can hear his quiet murmurs, between kisses - compliments of her body, her lips, her taste.

It's selfish to think, but Jaemin should be saying those words to you. And maybe that makes you a little on edge – a little pissed off.

"They're only making out," you argue back, voice quiet, "This doesn't prove shit. Even I've done this."

You feel Haechan jolt back in surprise, unanswered questions flooding the tip of his tongue. With who? he wants to ask, but he doesn't. If anything, the questions fuel his eagerness to prove you wrong. He knows Jaemin. For fucks sake, they've been roommates since freshman year.

There's a bite to his tone when he speaks up again, "Just watch."

So, you do.

You watch as Jaemin loses himself in this girl completely, all the while wishing it was you. But no, instead, you're stuck peering through bookshelves, while Haechan presses himself into you from behind at the same time Jaemin pushes his hips up.

"Is this turning you on?" you hiss, head whipping sideways to look at him.

His head dips down to nip at your earlobe, “So?”

“You’re such a pervert.”

“And you aren’t?”

Fair point.

Though, your sexual tendencies were far from voyeuristic, you can’t help but enjoy the scene in front of you – the secret thrill of watching Na Jaemin.

Haechan’s hands slip under the hem of your shirt, mirroring Jaemin. “Want me to stop?” he mumbles.

The argument that breaks out in your head doesn’t hold a candle to the way your body reacts, because maybe, just maybe, letting Haechan fuck you between the shelves of the library isn’t such a bad idea. However, spying on Jaemin, and wishing it was him instead, might be.

But Haechan doesn’t have to know.

And after all, what he doesn’t know can’t kill him.

You shake your head no, sensing his grin against the side of your neck, “I figured as much.”

Jaemins low groan carries across the empty library, and the mere sound leaves goosebumps crawling up your spine.

So, he is a groaner.

You knew it.

Haechans voice replaces the sound, “How about you spread your legs like a good girl and let me take care of you?”

“Right here?” You hiss.

“Is that okay?” He cranes his head over your shoulder so that you could just barely make eye contact, and suddenly you’re transported back to that first night with Haechan. The innocence in his gaze, the longing, the willingness to please you. He just wants to show you that he can take care of you – more than anyone ever could.

Won’t you let him?

Silently, you nod your head – and Haechan wastes no time.

As his fingertips glide along your arms, tiny goosebumps rise in their path. Once they reach the tips of your fingers, he intertwines them with yours, creating a seamless connection, then gently presses both hands against the sturdy shelf of books. The tip of his tongue finds your neck again, swirling patterns into the skin, and the sensation of his touch sends shivers down your spine.

You want to stay like this – focused on Haechan – but the thought that you were missing the real show on the bottom floor, makes you turn your attention to the other two occupants of the library.

It’s unfortunate that the girl in Jaemins lap decided to wear jeans, because watching her struggle to undo the button, while your best friend observes impatiently, makes your head spin. He looks like he wants to rip them off her without a second thought. Instead, he smacks her hands aside with a cheeky grin and swiftly undoes it, shoving his big hand down the front of her jeans. You can’t hear what he whispers into the shell of her ear, but her breathy moans pour from parted lips, carrying across the library.

Haechan’s teeth nip at your shoulder as he untangles one of his hands from yours and curls it around the waist band of your skirt.

“No–” you mumble, “Don’t wanna get undressed here…just…push my panties to the side or something.”

Haechan’s eyes widen behind you, though you can’t see. You only hear the grunt that escapes his lips as he obeys, roughly twisting them to the side.

A shiver runs through you, the stark contrast between how he is now and how he was the other night. He’s rougher now, less gentle, less tender. It’s as if he has something to prove—maybe holding onto you with a firmer grip is the only way for him to believe it’s real. To convince himself that you’re truly his for a second time, even though you swore it would never happen again.

You barely register the sound of foil tearing before his hand moves between you, the cool slide of latex against your skin making your breath hitch. He works quickly, efficiently, like he’s done this a thousand times before—like he can’t afford to waste a second more. The anticipation coils tight in your stomach, and you swear you’re already dizzy by the time he presses against you again.

You have to slap a hand over your trembling lips when Haechan pushes his cock into you so roughly that you tilt forward and nearly lose your footing. His knuckles brushing the inside of your thigh from holding your panties to the side feels like zaps of electricity, and your eyes flutter close again.

This is so bad of you. So very bad. But you don’t mind it. Because right now, he’s fucking you so hard and so fast that you haven’t had any time to adjust. No time to think.

The shelf is shaking, but Haechan can’t find the willpower to care. He can’t find the willpower to care about anything. He doesn’t care if you don’t like him the same. He doesn’t care if you’re just doing this because it’s the right place, right time. He doesn’t care if it’s only happening because you’re enjoying the sight of Jaemin and that girl. He doesn’t fucking care.

Not when he’s the one fucking you, pushing you against the shelves so hard they might just fall over. And when you sigh his name, so breathy and whiny and so perfectly his, he reaffirms that he doesn’t fucking care.

You chose this moment.

You chose him.

If only for a night.

But he’ll take a night. He’d take anything you’d give him – anything you’d be willing to spare.

He feels like he’s transcended the astral plane, the way you suck him in, pussy so wet he’s nearly slipping out with each thrust.

Jaemin is losing his mind too. This girl – whatever her name is – just won’t shut up. She’s babbling about how hot he is, how sexy it is that she’s on his lap right now, how she can’t believe they’re doing this in the middle of the library.

All he wants to do is fuck her mouth so she’ll shut up.

You know that look — the one Jaemin gets when he's on the edge of annoyance. A flicker of doubt crosses your mind. Does he know you're up there watching? Maybe that's what’s setting him off. For a brief second, your heart clenches, cold and uncertain — but then Haechan's lips find your neck, scattering your thoughts like they were never there.

His hand reaches up the front of your body, enclosing itself around your throat. At the same time, Jaemin's hand tightens around the girl's throat, his fingers pressing into her skin with the same slow, deliberate intensity. A choked gasp slips from her lips, mirroring the way your breath shudders under Haechan’s touch. The sight of them, so perfectly aligned, sends a sharp thrill down your spine. “How does it feel?” He mumbles, squeezing just a bit, so that your response comes out quiet and strained.

“Feels good.”

“Just good?

“Feels perfect.” You gasp out.

The room feels hotter as their hands move in sync—tight, possessive. Haechan's thumb brushes along your jawline, eyes flicking between your parted lips and the way your breath catches under his grip. Jaemin mirrors him perfectly, leaning in close to the girl whose whimper fills the space.

“Perfect, huh?” Haechan taunts low in your ear, voice dripping with cocky amusement. His fingers flex around your throat, just enough to make your pulse race.

Jaemin's fingers disappear further down the girl's jeans, knuckles flexing as he works her open — soft wet sounds carrying through the dead silence of the library. His eyes are lidded, lips curled into that lazy, cocky grin you know so well. The one that says he knows exactly what he's doing to her — what he should be doing to you.

Haechan's hips snap harder behind you, forcing your cheek against the cold shelf as the books rattle in protest. His breath is hot on the side of your face, voice low and taunting. "You wish it was him, don't you?"

Your nails scrape against the wood, trying to find something — anything — to ground yourself as the shame pools hotter between your legs.

"No," you lie through clenched teeth.

Haechan laughs, breathless and mean. His hand snakes up your chest, pushing under your shirt to grab at your tits. He squeezes hard enough to make you arch into him, hips rolling back against his cock. "Liar," he spits. "You're dripping down my dick watching him finger some random bitch."

Your eyes snap open, finding Jaemin again. His mouth is on her neck now, pink tongue flicking against the delicate skin as she writhes in his lap. His free hand fists her hair, holding her still �� the same way he playfully does with you when he’s holding something high above his head that you can’t reach.

Fuck.

Haechan feels the way your pussy clenches around him at the sight, and the cruel grin that spreads across his face makes your stomach flip. "Filthy little slut... you like pretending I'm him?"

You shake your head no, but Haechan catches your chin between his fingers, forcing you to look straight through the shelves. Straight at Jaemin.

"Then keep your eyes on him while I fuck you. Since that's what you want so bad."

Heat flushes through your entire body — humiliation, desire, and something darker twisting in your gut. You shouldn't want this. You shouldn't want to be fucked like a ragdoll while imagining your best friend is the one splitting you open. But the way Haechan's cock is stretching you — brutal and unrelenting — makes it so fucking hard to care.

The girl on Jaemin's lap starts whining, hips rocking against his hand. Jaemin's mouth drops open in a soft moan, head tipping back against the chair. His fingers are moving faster now — slick, dirty sounds echoing through the stacks.

Haechan's lips brush your ear, voice syrupy sweet. "Wanna come together, baby? Wanna let him hear how good we're being up here?"

You're so close — thighs trembling, pussy clenching around him with every punishing thrust. And the worst part is... you do want it. You want Jaemin to hear you. You want him to know exactly what you're doing — what he's missing out on. What Haechan gets to have while he wastes his time with girls who won't ever know him the way you do.

Haechan's fingers find your clit, rubbing fast, messy circles that send sparks shooting up your spine. "That's it," he groans, hips stuttering. "Come for me, baby. Let him hear how fucking good I fuck you."

A sudden rustle echoes through the library — footsteps approaching, heavy and deliberate. Your breath catches, panic slicing through the haze of pleasure.

You don’t want the pleasure to stop, but the sparks in your stomach are dying down with each jangle of keys you hear. When you turn your head, you see a flashlight sweeping through the aisles of books a few rows over.

“Haechan we gotta go.” You urge.

“W-Wait, just give me, ah fuck, give me two seconds.” He stammers out, hands squeezing and kneading your thighs as he gets closer and closer.

“Hyuck.” You warn,

“Please!” He whines, “I’m so fucking close.”

You roll your eyes and say the thing you know will get him to finish, “Be a good boy and cum for me.”

The words are barely a whisper, yet they cut through the tension like a knife. His body tenses, a low groan rumbling in his throat. His hips buck against yours one last time, a shudder running through him as he spills inside you. The sudden quiet after his release is deafening, broken only by the continued jangling of keys and the soft thud of approaching footsteps.

“Hurry up.” You whisper through gritted teeth.

Haechan curses under his breath, pulling out of you with a slick pop. He rips the condom off, glancing around frantically before stuffing it between the pages of a geology textbook.

“That’s disgusting.” You whisper.

He just shrugs.

"Okay," he breathes, his voice thick with spent desire. "Okay, we go."

He pulls away, and you quickly adjust your clothing, the sound of rustling fabric seeming impossibly loud in the silence. "Come on," you hiss urgently, fingers tightening around Haechan's arm as you dart through the labyrinth of shelves with desperate determination. This stupid fucking geology section was so damn difficult to navigate. Shelves of useless books and glass cases of rocks. You take a wrong turn and end up face to face with a wall.

“This way dumbass.” Haechan whispers, this time grabbing your hand and pulling you in the opposite direction.

Apparently, he knew exactly where to go, dragging you down a few corridors and finally to the back staircase that you had come up earlier. His hand tugs you down the steps so fast you think you might just tumble down them. But when you reach the bottom, he spares you a glance, “You okay?”

“Y-yeah.”

"Hey!” The security guard's shout jolts you, too close for comfort, and you both sprint away once more.

Navigating the bottom floor feels better; fewer shelves clutter the space, replaced by study room cubicles and vacant tables. You trail behind Haechan, relief flooding you as you spot the double doors illuminated by the red exit sign.

At last, you burst through the library doors, the cool night air a balm against the fevered heat of adrenaline that courses through your veins. But as you collide with a figure standing at the edge of the pathway, your heart lurches.

This was it. You were done for. Caught by the security guard for breaking the rules. You just hope they don’t throw you in jail. They couldn’t arrest you, could they?

"Jaemin?" Haechan gasps, his voice a breathless whisper that hangs in the air like a fragile thread.

Forget jail – you might just die here on the spot.

There Jaemin was, his hands holding your arms to steady you. God he really was just solid wall of muscle. But it was just him, no girl in sight.

He peers down at you, mouth dropped in surprise. “What are you two doing here?”

You and Haechan share a quick look and then speak at the same time. “Project.”

Jaemin releases his hold on you and takes a step back, “You don’t share classes.”

“I was helping him.”

“It’s due tonight.” Haechan affirms, still trying to catch his breath, “What were you doing here?”

It’s an accusatory statement – but you didn’t think Haechan had the balls to actually ask it.

Jaemin shoves his hands in his pockets and starts down the path. The both of you follow on his heels, “I was studying.”

“Right.”

“Well, are you guys coming back to the dorm to finish the project?”

“Can’t. I have to go to a Jennie thing, like, right now.” As if on cue, your phone pings with a slew of messages from her – all asking where the hell you were. “Can one of you guys go with me? She’s asking me why I’m late and she’s not gonna be satisfied unless I have a good excuse. But, if I bring one of you guys, she’ll understand.”

Haechan pipes up from beside you incredibly fast. Literally jumping at the chance, “I’ll go.”

“Don’t you have a project to finish?” Jaemin’s voice holds a note of skepticism as he turns his gaze to Hyuck, one eyebrow lifted.

Haechan’s expression falters for a moment, his defense tumbling from his lips, “Yeah, but­–”

“You should probably head back to work on it.” You interject, tone firm.

Jaemin nodded in agreement.

If you could get Jaemin to go with you, perhaps the night would lead exactly where you wanted it too…with him between your legs, and another part of the challenge completed.

Sure, you felt bad about literally ditching the boy you were just fooling around with – who you literally made cum in less than ten minutes. But you had a duty. A responsibility.

Right?

Haechan just shoves his hands into his pocket and storms off towards his dorm without another word. Which, by the way, was not the norm for him. He always had to have the last word. Boy must really be butt hurt.

“Jaemin?” you began, turning to face him, a playful glint dancing in your eyes.

“What do I get out of this?” Jaemin's response was quick, his lips curling into a knowing smile as he met your gaze.

You roll your eyes, searching for something that would tip the scale in your favor. “You get to see pretty girls in pretty dresses.”

“Fucking deal.”

So, turns out entering a sorority house in the middle of an event was not a respected nor appreciated thing.

Technically you wouldn’t have been late had Jaemin not insisted on stopping by his dorm so that he could change. He had ‘too many girls to impress’. And then, every outfit he chose, Haechan had some rude comment to make. Thus, making you late.

Girls around the room shoot dirty looks as you and Jaemin scramble in through the door. You tuck your head down, feeling the weight of their judgement. Jaemin, however, seemed to revel in the attention. Instead of trying to blend in, he unabashedly drank in the gazes directed your way. A mischievous smile played on his lips as he winked and waved to some of the girls around you. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his audacity.

What a manslut.

Thankfully, your entrance didn't manage to disrupt Jennie's announcement. The sorority president continued her speech from the front of the room, determined to maintain the flow of the event, even if her sisters were still glaring at you.

As Jennie finished calling the names of all the new sisters, the room erupted into cheers and applause.

Someone starts playing music.

Drinks start flowing.

Jaemin filters off with mumbled excuses of finding said drinks.

And you realize just how fucked you look, literally.

Your disheveled appearance didn't go unnoticed, as Jennie approached your huddled figure. Trying to smooth down your hair and straighten your skirt, she all but sprints over. Her eyes widen when she spots a hickey on your neck.

"You're not helping your case," Jennie teased, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "You sure you didn't sleep with him?"

You chuckled nervously, clawing at the mark on your neck, "Not him, someone else."

“Someone else?” She questions, raising an eyebrow. A hint of guilt washes over you; perhaps it's time to open up to her. The expression she wears suggests that if you don't share the information willingly, she might claw it out of you.

You open your mouth and close it, almost mechanically. What were you going to say? Tell her that Haechan decided to have his fun between the shelves of the geology section. Jennie would kill you, like, actually murder you and dump your cold body in the quad fountain. She’s eyeing you expectantly.

“Actually, it was–”

“Y/n! Jennie!” Jaehyun's smooth voice interrupts, catching you off guard. You turned to see him, a playful glint in his eyes. He pushes past a group of people, smiling all the while. Luck must really be on your side this week, because Jennie turns away from you to embrace him, your expected confession already forgotten.

When she pulls away, she shoots you a look. If you squinted, you’d see her pupils replaced by little animated hearts. She really was into him.

“I didn’t know you were in a sorority Y/n.” He paused, eyes flickering between you and Jennie. "You both look amazing."

You chuckled, waving off the idea. "No sorority for me. I'm just here to support Jennie. She's the social butterfly tonight.”

Jennie beamed at the mention of her being a social butterfly, and Jaehyuns compliment, clearly enjoying the attention from both of you. "Oh, you two should chat. Y/n, meet Jaehyun. Jaehyun, this is Y/n, my roommate, best friend, partner in crime, etcetera."

Jennie doesn’t know that you’ve both met before, and you guess he doesn’t have the heart to explain it all to her. Unaware of your previous encounters, she continued her introduction “Jae, Y/n is amazing. She’s the one who introduced me to that new coffee shop I’ve been meaning to take you to!”

Jaehyun extends his hand, and you shook it, feeling a subtle spark as your eyes met. "Nice to officially meet you, Y/n. Jennie's been talking about you," he admitted, a smile playing on his lips.

You raised an eyebrow, curious. "Oh, has she now?"

Jennie nodded enthusiastically. "Only good things, I promise! Mostly about the coffee joint."

“About that…” Jaehyun says, pulling out his phone from his pocket and tapping the screen a few times, “I’ve been meaning to get your number so we can go sometime.”

When he hands the phone to Jennie, she all but passes out. A beaming smile overtakes her features as she hastily inputs her number. “I sent myself a text, so you’ll know it’s me.” As Jennie handed back Jaehyun's phone, a newfound excitement radiated from her. "I can't wait for us to check it out together. It's my absolute favorite," she exclaimed, seemingly oblivious to how the boy was now smirking at you.

Jaehyun, still not looking in your roommates direction, gave a nod of agreement. "Absolutely, looking forward to it." He pockets his phone and leans against the wall.

Your roommate shoots you another look, this one of pure giddy delight. “Alright! I’d like to stay and chat with you guys all night, but I got a party to run! Being a Delta Gamma girl means I gotta run around like a chicken with her head cut off. I’ll catch you guys later though?” Jennie shot one last love-struck glance your way before gracefully maneuvering through the crowd, disappearing into the sea of partygoers.

As the music pulsed and the lively atmosphere continued around you, you found yourself standing with Jaehyun, both of you momentarily left to your own devices. Jaemin was nowhere to be found so you might as well enjoy the company of Jeno’s older half-brother.

Jaehyun, ever the smooth talker, leaned in a bit closer, his voice a low murmur over the music. "Well, it looks like it's just you and me now.”

“Seems like it.” You respond, not sure what to say, but Jaehyun interrupts what little silence there was.

"So, Y/n," He begins, "Tell me about Jeno. Been keeping an eye on him?”

Honestly, you hadn't crossed paths with Jeno much this week. The only time you managed to meet up was for lunch earlier in the day, and even then, Jaehyun decided to join, leaving your catch-up session with Jeno cut short.

"Well, I'm not his personal watchdog, but as far as I know he’s doing alright. He’s probably practicing for the game tomorrow.”

Jaehyun's smile widened, and he reached up to casually brush a strand of hair from your face. The gesture sent a subtle shiver down your spine. Why did he do that? That was literally so out of the blue. Especially when he just gave your roommate his number.

"Speaking of keeping an eye on things," he teased, his tone now laced with a hint of flirtation, "You seem like you need a drink. Want me to get you one?"

You glance around the room, searching for Jaemin so that you could excuse yourself, but he was nowhere to be found – still.

You sigh, “Yeah, sure. Why not? Surprise me.”

Jaehyun returned shortly with a drink in hand, and as you took a sip, he continued the conversation. "So, tell me about the party last weekend. Did you and Haechan enjoy yourselves?"

The mention of the party made you choke on your drink (that, and the fact that it was literally ninety-five percent tequila and five percent lemonade), surprised by the sudden shift in topic. “Me and Haechan? W-what do you mean?”

He couldn’t know, could he…?

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow, smirking so wide his dimples hollowed out his cheeks. It was kind of cute – in an objective way, of course. “Well, you guys went off during spin the bottle, right?”

Oh, you had totally forgotten about that.

“Yeah, but we didn’t do anything.” You wave your hand in front of your face and take another sip of your drink. It wasn’t entirely a lie – you didn’t do anything at the party.

He hums and takes a sip of his own drink. Swallowing it hard, he gestures to you, “Well, I can clearly see a hickey on your neck, so who has the pleasure of getting at you?”

Your drink nearly becomes a choking hazard once more. Attempting to articulate a response, you struggle as the words seem to get caught in your throat. God damn tequila.

“Was it Jaemin?”

Now that…that about killed you. You wished it had been Jaemin’s lips on your neck, his hands on your body, his co- “Hate to burst your bubble, but me and Jaemin are just friends.” You give him a wry smile, “It was just some dude in my class.”

“Some dude?” He smirks, and those damn dimples come out again.

You nod, “Unfortunately.”

He lifts his cup to his lips and utters, almost muffled by the rim of the solo cup, "I bet I could do better."

“Is that so?” You quip, the words leaving your mouth faster than you can comprehend. There’s no justification for the thoughts seeping into your brain. This was supposed to be Jennies man. Jeno’s brother. A friend and nothing more.

But those dimples.

And that suit he was wearing. All black tie, shiny shoes, and crisp white button up.

You could blame it on the alcohol.

You could blame it on Haechan leaving you high and dry.

You could blame it on a million other things…

But one thing is for certain: You just might regret this in the morning.

You’re definitely going to regret this in the morning.

When the windows of his car fog up, you notice the faded presence of heart shapes delicately traced by the touch of someone’s finger.

Probably his ex.

Unfortunately, this is the only thing you manage to focus on while Jaehyun fisted a handful of your hair, yanking your head back. His thrusts were fast and pointed and damn near painful.

“You’re so fucking tight.” He groans.

Maybe if you could focus really hard, you’d be able to finish, but when he snakes his hand around your waist and starts rubbing the side of your leg, you realize that that wasn’t going to happen.

“Feel good?” The cockiness drips from his lips, and it almost makes you laugh. Poor thing, at least he was hot.

“Mhm.” It’d feel better if he slowed down and stopped jackhammering into you.

The leather seats of his car stick against your skin when you try to lift up onto your elbows. It was pretty spacious, but with Jaehyun all but laying on top of you, it felt more than cramped.

His hand rubs harder, “Don’t hold back baby, cum for me.”

Did he really believe you were close to finishing? You weren’t making any sounds, not shaking, not moaning for him to keep going or go faster. But genuinely, if you told him the truth, it would probably break his ego in half. Or prompt him to actually get better at sex.

You decide to just fake it. “Fuck Jae…Feels good.”

His voice is strained, “Don’t call me Jae.”

“Sorry–” You mumble, head dipping under the weight of his heavy hand that comes to grab at the back of your neck. His other hand was already wrapped up in your hair, but the other steadies himself while he continues to fuck into you.

“Call me daddy.” He breathes.

Of course he’d have a daddy kink.

You amp your voice up a bit “F-Fuck, daddy, love your cock.” Apparently, this was exactly what he wanted because he starts humming in satisfaction, “Want your cum.” You just wanted him to be done.

The tips of his ears turn red, pace faltering when the name rolls off your tongue. “Baby...fuck” He keeps it just like that, disjointedly fucking into you as he came – thank god he had a condom on. But he doesn’t pull out right away, instead keeping still until his breathing returned to normal. You just kinda awkwardly sit there, panting.

“That was really good.” He chuckles, pulling out and sitting down on the seat. You fix yourself too, sitting beside him. Your skirt is down on the floorboard, so you bend down to get it and start to put it back on. You felt sticky and sore and not satisfied at all.

 The silence becomes more awkward than it should have been, so you speak up, “So…you have a daddy kink?”

He opens the car door and drops the condom on the ground – which was really fucking gross, but what other choice did he have?

“Yeah…I don’t know, it’s something new I guess.”

Continuing to awkwardly fumble around for something to say you ask another question, “Oh, you were experimenting?”

“I guess.” The awkwardness starts to creep back in again. He wasn’t good at pillow talking, was he? He wasn’t good at much anything when it came to sex, you guess. Throwing on his shirt, he starts to get dressed while you twist your hands together in your lap.

You shifted uncomfortably, “Um, I should probably go find Jennie,” you mumbled, avoiding direct eye contact with Jaehyun.

He seemed oblivious, choosing to focus on the button of his jeans, “Sounds good. Think ‘m gonna head home.” When he did look up, he gave you a genuine smile, “You okay to walk?”

“Yeah,” you replied, “I think I’m good.”

What is it with guys and asking if you were okay to walk after? It’s not like they’re paralyzing you with their magical cock.

As he sat there, you couldn't help but think this dude needed a serious sex ed lesson, and then a follow-up on how to treat a girl after putting her through... that.

“If you ever wanna do this again, you have my number,” he said casually.

You didn’t have his number, and you would never get it. You forced a smile, “Absolutely!”

He got out of the car, and you followed suit, stepping out onto the street and discreetly fixing your clothes so that it looked like you hadn’t been cramped in the back seat of someone’s car. He made his way to the driver’s side door and opened it, “You gonna be at the game on Sunday?”

“Yeah, wouldn’t miss it. Jeno would kill me, you know.”

He nodded, seemingly unfazed, "Great, hopefully I’ll see you there."

You waved a half-hearted goodbye as he got into his car.  When he pulled out of sight, you muttered to yourself, lesson learned, boundaries set.

Turning on your heel, you went back inside the sorority house. The vibrant energy of the party still pulsed through the air. You wonder where this night would have gone had you stayed. Too late for that now. Now you were just unsatisfied and pissed off.

Frowning, you spot Jaemin across the room sitting on a couch. Some girl has her arm thrown around him and they’re laughing. His pink hair falls into his eyes when he looks at her and she reaches a hand up to move the tumbled strands. Her other hand rubs his arms, and he annoyingly flexes. They were three seconds away from kissing and honestly, it pissed you off even more.

Rolling your eyes, you march over to him, damn near pushing people out of the way. Some tell you to watch where you’re going but you ignore them, entirely focused on Jaemin and whoever this girl was.

“Hey Y/N” he cheerfully greets, giving you a beaming smile, “This is Vera.” He gestures to the girl by his side

You grabbed his upper arm, shaking Vera’s grip off of his other one, and pulling him upright – away from her. "Come on, we're leaving," you declared, not in the mood for his flirtatious antics. His bicep flexes, and you find yourself even more desperate to get the fuck out of the sorority house and home to where you could give yourself a proper orgasm.

Jaemin protested, trying to resist your tug. "Dude, what the fuck.” He lowers his voice, “Can’t you see I’m with a girl.”

You shot him a stern look, "You're my date?? This is so rude."

Vera just gives a nervous laugh. Probably afraid that you’d hit her if she tried something. You wouldn’t, but she didn’t know that.

He chuckled, still trying to charm his way out of the situation, "Come on, don't be like that. She's cute, and I was just having a chat." He lowers his voice again, this time whining, “Dude we were just about to go back to her place, don’t fuck this up for me please!”

Ignoring his protests, you start to drag him toward the exit. He finally relented, realizing you were serious about leaving. As you reached the door, he turned to Vera and mouthed, "Call me!"

You shook your head, muttering under your breath, "Unbelievable."

Outside, the cool night air hit you, and you couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the evening. "Note to self: choose Haechan next time."

The campus path stretched ahead as you stormed down it, frustration evident in every step. Jaemin followed behind for a few minutes until he got fed up. When he finally catches up, he grabs your shoulder and spins you around.

"What's got you so mad?" he asked, a bemused expression on his face.

You took a deep breath, deciding to let it out. "Jeno's brother.”

“What about Jeno’s brother? Did he try something…I swear to God Y/N, if he tried something-”

You cut him off, “He sucks at sex.” The embarrassment creeps up your spine the longer Jaemin stares at you with wide eyes.

“Wait you…” Jaemin burst into laughter, his amusement echoing through the pathway. "No fucking way…” He clutches his stomach and doubles over, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes like you just said the funniest thing in the world, “Jeno’s brother?”

You shot him a look, still seething, but Jaemin's laughter was contagious, and soon you found yourself smiling despite your annoyance.

"What? Did he have a small dick or something?” Jaemin teased, the corners of his lips still twitching with mirth.

Eyes rolling, you cross your arms over your chest. “More like he thinks giving me an orgasm means rubbing the side of my thigh for five minutes while he fucks like a jack rabbit.”

“Oh my god.” Jaemin doubles over in laughter again, “Now I know why his girl left him.”

“Not funny.”

“Come on,” He chuckles, “Don’t be mad, laugh it off.”

You sighed, "I'm not mad, Jaemin. I'm sexually frustrated."

The laughter died down instantly as Jaemin's expression shifted. "Oh," he says, a hint of realization dawning in his eyes.

"Yeah, oh," you replied, not expecting such a reaction. What was he thinking? And why was he looking at you like that?

After a moment of silence, Jaemin speaks up, his voice softer now. "I’ll do it.”

A breeze passes through the quad, making you shiver. You rub your arms to bring warmth back into them, barely registering Jaemins words, “You’ll do what? Fuck his ex better than he ever could?”

“No,” he chuckles, “I’ll fuck you better than he ever could.”

It’s almost like the world tips over and starts swimming in your vision, because there’s no way, on Gods green fucking earth, that Na Jaemin just offered to fuck you. What happened to not even touching you with a ten-foot pole? Was there sex pollen in the air or something? Did that girl slip something into Jaemins' drink? What happened to being just friends?

But Na Jaemin was just a boy

And you were just a girl. One that was in desperate need of an orgasm.

He seemed to pick up on your hesitation, prompting him to move a step closer and begin clarifying, “Look, I won’t make it weird or anything.” Extending his hand, he gently caresses your arm, and you allow it. “Just a friend helping out a friend, right?”

“But…Why?”

As long as you’d known Jaemin there was no sexual chemistry whatsoever. Except for the last couple weeks when this challenge shit started. But you could have sworn that was all one sided, stemming from your overactive, horny ass brain that needed to be satiated.

“I guess I have a thing for helping those in need…you know, tutoring and all.”

You chew on your bottom lip, “Makes sense…”

Could this night possibly help you complete the second part of the challenge? Was fucking Na Jaemin going to be this easy?

His hand continues to stroke the side of your arm and goosebumps break out on the exposed skin. “Come on Y/N, you deserve an actual orgasm after having to put up with that.”

You raise an eyebrow, “And you think you can give me one?”

“Oh I know I can. Multiple if you’d like.” His words bite through the air, confidence dripping from his lips. Except, instead of it being cocky and very not true like Jaehyun earlier, you could sense he was telling the truth. And thinking back to the video he showed you weeks ago, of him fucking that girl and making her squirt, you realize, Jaemin is exactly who you want right now.

But maybe you want him to work for it a little more, after all, he was the slut in the friend group. (Even if you were the one that already had two cocks in you tonight).

Taking a step closer, you gaze into his eyes, “You talk a big game, Na Jaemin.”

God, he looked fucking good. Button up slightly askew, taunt collar bones peeking through the top. You want to rip it right off of him and get to the muscle’s underneath.

He mirrors your stare, “And I can back it up.” Time stands still when he gives you a once over, biting his lip when he gets to the (as hyuck called it) short ass cheerleading skirt you wore, “Look, I won’t even cum if you don’t want me too. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Desperation rolls off his tongue, and if you had looked closely enough, you’d notice the front of his pants tightening. He never thought about you in this kind of way. You were always off limits to him. A girl he could never claim. But now…with you staring at him like you wanted to bite him (odd, though he’s gotten more feral reactions from other girls before), he can’t help but think about you naked in his bed. Begging for his cock. Begging for him. And well, that made him hard.

“Whatever I want?”

He repeats his words, “Whatever you want.” Voice dropping to barely above a whisper, he gives you another once over, “You can use me as your personal sex toy.”

“Oh, but I’m not Vera?” At this point, you were teasing him – and he knew it. “Thought you wanted her?”

He laughs, “Maybe, but you’re definitely prettier than her.” It catches him by surprise when he notices that it’s true. You were prettier than her. In fact, now that he’s noticing, you were prettier than about ninety five percent of the girls on this campus. How the fuck had he not noticed before? Or maybe he had…maybe this is the first time he’s wanted to admit it to himself. “Come on, I’m so much better than the rubber shit you’d be using if you went home alone.”

You step closer, almost chest-to-chest with him, “And how do you know I’d be using rubber; I have perfectly good hands-”

He leans in, bringing his face inches from yours, "Not better than mine." His eyes drift down to your lips, only to return and lock onto your gaze. "And we both know that."

There’s only a sliver of sanity left in your body to stop you from kissing him right then, right there, in the middle of campus.

“Jaemin.” You whisper.

“Yeah baby?”

That sanity was slipping further and further away.

“What’s the fastest route to your dorm?”

A. NOTE. read the the note at the beginning of this post. and don't forget to reblog :)

TAGLIST. @newdeobi @jijihyunah @saintlyhyuck @mrkis @peachjaem00 @angelwonie @aliceinwhateverland @cabaretyun @allaboutthedongs @donutswithjaminthemiddle @bundleleeknow @sunshinedhyuck @kuingjuing @haechanalpha @thiccfullsun @jenoxygen @ishireads @greentealatte97 @aquamxrina @whymarkieyournameismark @marklexleaf @its-taeil-time @j4d @dearj43 @roohnyk @stargrll13 @hykwrld @leeluc @haechie @xuxisins @rainyjeno

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Viktor being an antagonistic figure towards both Piltover and Zaun is a poor writing decision for a number of reasons, some more obvious than others.

Of course, Arcane was never going to be a one to one of League lore, that much is clear from season one, but there was still a lot established that felt as though it would still lead to the character established in the games, Viktor especially.

Season one focuses heavily on his deteriorating relationship with Jayce, and his conflicting feelings towards Piltover, most obvious in both his terminal illness, and Piltover wanting to use his creation against Zaun, when his intentions had always been to use Hextech to help Zaun. Even though his lore is different, we can still see how Viktor would make the choices he does, and how choice is deeply important to his character as well.

‘There is always a choice.’ Is a line that sticks out to me, especially given the context it’s displayed in, with Viktor choosing to disarm Jinx’s bomb and thus choose to live.

The minute you take away Viktor’s choice and grey morality, you completely push aside everything about him that was established in season one, which is unfortunately what season two does.

Part of me thinks that the reason this was done is because to have Viktor question Piltover further, to have him present for Cait’s rise and the gassing of the Undercity and growing brutality towards its people, would mean that it would have to be acknowledged deeper, and that there would have to be actual consequences. Viktor’s arc cannot centre around the conflict of Zaun vs Piltover anymore, because to do so would mean actually addressing the horrifically inhumane acts of Piltover, and the centuries of oppression in a way that justified Zaun’s violence and anger.

Viktor’s arc cannot centre around him choosing to become the Machine Herald, because that would mean acknowledging that he has a right to be resentful and hurt, that the fact he was dying was caused directly by Piltover.

Viktor had to be removed from the main narrative until the end, which lost so much of his character and what made him interesting in the first place.

And back to my initial point as I fear I’ve strayed from it. Viktor simply doesn’t work as this all-powerful antagonistic force that brings the cities together, because it erases the fact he’s a Zaunite from the narrative, and here his people are, dying in enforcer uniforms because of him. Viktor’s actions don’t feel like a choice here.

Another issue with him as this force is that magic doesn’t work as the main threat in Arcane, as I feel like a key part of season one was how Jayce and Viktor adapted magic into technology, and how humans wielded it, and the double-edged sword of technological advancement: healing vs violence.

Again, Viktor’s character and conflict is erased by centring him around magic.

Another less obvious point I think is both finale’s centre around the actions of a singular Zaunite. Jinx destroys the council, which causes them to backtrack on peace, as the action of one person from the Undercity in their eyes is the action of them all, as that’s what they expect from them. It’s similar with Viktor, except, because he has help from Noxus, it’s seen more as an outside threat, and so the show again doesn’t have to address how Piltover actually feels about Zaun.

If it was just Viktor attacking, he’d be the same as Jinx.

Not sure if I’ve worded that last bit as well as I did the rest, but I hope it does make sense.

All in all it just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and I think Viktor should have had a season long arc of him becoming the Machine Herald — I really do.

[felassan]

Dragon Age Day 2024 – Developer Reddit AMA (Q&A session) – compilation post

Introduction: “Happy Dragon Age Day! John Epler and Corinne Busche are here to answer your questions for the next ~2 hours. Looking forward to chatting with everyone. We won't be able to get to all questions, but hoping to get to a good mix!”

I gathered the questions and answers from the AMA together in this post, as the AMA has now concluded. The rest of this post is under a cut due to spoilers and length.

Q: "If you could’ve developed DLC, what — and/or where — would you have wanted to explore? Would it have been a new locale with a complementary, self-contained story or something that adds to the main plot and teases the future?"

Corinne Busche: "On the gameplay side, I had a thought about adding a new class option, which is directly related to the environments and story. I've always wanted to revisit the Bard, and I've long felt in the context of Veilguard the best way to handle player-controlled blood magic would have been to build a unique 'Blood Mage' class for it."

Q: "Can we look forward to more lore-supplementary material, for example World of Thedas vol.3?"

John Epler: "With all of the lore reveals in DATV, another World of Thedas is something we'd absolutely love to do. That said, they're complex beasts and require a lot of work from a lot of people, so I can't really promise anything, but it's something we're interested in, at least."

Q: "1. How exactly did Solas's blood magic manipulation of Rook work? Did he only alter Rook's perception to make them think that Varric was still around, or did the blood magic actively prevent Rook from reacting to Varric in a way that would have given up the ruse to the other characters? 2. What is the state of Southern Thedas after the events of DAV?"

John: "Solas' magic caused Rook to see Varric when he wasn't there. Originally, of course, Solas wanted Varric to keep Rook more off-balance - but the thing about the Fade is that things don't always work the way you expect or want them to. As for the state of Southern Thedas - it's been pretty radically altered. The balance of power has shifted, but even those who rode out the storm of the Gods' blight better than others are still reluctant to start anything as the whole place is in rough shape."

Q: "When looking back on DAV, is there any part you wish that you could have spent more time on?"

John: "For me, it's about the Antaam and their split from the rest of the Qunari. There are elements of that story in both the Crows content and in Taash's personal quest, but in a dream world, having the Ben Hassrath as an additional faction (albeit, one you don't know if you can trust) would've been nice."

Corinne: "And for myself, I certainly share some of the desires the community has. Going deeper on romances, and more choices to import. I love our choices and consequences in the game already and maybe we could've added a few more on the scale of the Minrathous/Treviso choice, that significantly alter the remainder of the game. I think we learned how to make that work within our gameflow and content structure, so I look forward to being able to lean in on these beats more heavily. That said, no artist or creator is ever going to be completely content with their work, and even so when I take a step back and look at the game as a whole, I'm extremely proud of what were able to accomplish."

Q: "Can we get confirmation on what happened to the other Evanuris? Will we get any more lore? Shame we didn't hear a whole lot about them besides essentially being behind the previous Blights."

John: "We haven't been SUPER specific about this, but at best the other Evanuris are a shadow of their former selves, and at worst they're dead. The death of their Archdemons, particularly when they were still trapped in the Fade, caused enough magical feedback that it broke their minds and bodies. A couple may have survived as shells, but they aren't in the same state as Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan."

Q: "Will we get at least anything post launch that via free updates that further expands some story elements? Will rook continue to be the main protagonist going further??"

Corinne: "We've been continuing to improve upon the game post-launch through various bug fixes, balance updates, and quality-of-life improvements. Notably new character creator options and armors for DA Day and N7 Day, and some cool features like Photo Mode filters. Beyond this focus however, we largely view this story as complete and are not planning for further story content. Whether Rook will return in the future, well it's just too early to say :)"

Q: "The marketing for the game claimed that choices not imported from prior games wouldn't be overridden. However, certain dialogue from characters like Harding seemed to establish certain canon events from previous games that were not locked in. Is the intention that a hard canon is being established from DATV forward?"

John: "Ultimately, there's still no intention for there to be a hard canon going forward. These games have been going on for 15 years, though, and with all of the previous games to remember, as well as developing this one, there are absolutely places where we unintentionally suggested there was a hard canon (the one I've seen specifically is that Isabela is always assumed to have joined Hawke's party). I'd say those are oversights and not part of a deliberate strategy. While there are definitely some smaller decisions we will likely never revisit, I want to keep those other choices alive and relevant in the future, and with the state of Thedas the way it is at the end of DATV, I don't really think there's a way forward that DOESN'T involve bringing some of those bigger choices back to the forefront."

Q: "Was there anything at risk of being cut from the game that you fought tooth and nail to keep in?"

Corinne: "Oh, absolutely. There are always those things in game dev that are at risk due to scope and deadlines. There were 3 big ones that immeadiately come to mind: The Transmog feature, the Lords of Fortune Hall of Valor, and Haunts questline. I'll throw in Photo Mode as well, but that was one that we always knew we'd like to do, and had to dig deep to find the time and resources for it."

Q: "Is it set in stone that we will not be getting DLC?"

Corinne: "Correct, our focus was to tell a complete story with the release of Veilguard. Beyond the quality of life improvements and a couple new armor sets we're doing to support the game, we won't have any new story or gameplay content coming to the game."

Q: "Are there any plans to try and increase character saves on console to more than 3?"

Corinne: "This is something we've investigated, but because this touches our save file architecture there are no plans at this time to increase the limit."

Q: "Are you planning to make another Dragon Age after this one ?"

Corinne: "There are so many more stories yet to be told, and threats to defend against, within Thedas, but that's all we can say for now as we don't have anything new to announce."

Q: "With the polarizing nature of this iteration of Dragon Age, how did the media attention affect the team as a whole and the morale leading into and post launch?"

Corinne: "This is a tough one to answer, because it's so personal and specific to each member of the team. So let me say this, we've seen that with each Dragon Age release there has been a passionate, and sometimes polarized, response. When you consider how invested the players are, the nature of reinvention in the franchise, and the commitment to inclusivity, it makes a lot of sense to see the broad array of reactions. What I can say is that the team is really proud of what they have built, and the positive critical reception it's received. Within the team, we've been sharing all of the wonderful letters, fan art, and anecdotes from the players, and listening closely to the constructive criticism. That's really where we focus our attention."

Q: "Could you comment on current logic of Lucanis romance? Him leaving PC because of a certain choice does not make sense, because right after that he picks up the romance arc with Neve, who did exactly same choice. Was it intentional, or are we dealing with a broken plot flag or oversight?"

Corinne: "Lucanis is a deeply passionate individual, and rightly or wrongly, can't overlook that it was Rook's decision as the leader of the Veilguard to support Minrathous, when so many lives were bound to be lost in Treviso. It hasn't dimmed his passions, which is why he ultimately still pursues Neve, but it does come at the cost of the fledgling romance with Rook. As with all people, Lucanis is complex in the way he internalizes his experiences, and this is one he couldn't look past."

Q: "Are there any comics or books planned that are set after the events of DAV?"

John: "Ancilliary media is always tricky but personally I'd love to do more in that space. I think the ending of DATV leaves the world pretty well open to a number of different stories and exploring how the dynamics of Thedas have changed after the events of DATV is, IMO, a really fun path to go down."

Q: "Can we see Sandal in the future Game/DLC?"

Corinne: "That's an interesting possibility to explore. Especially given what we've learned in Harding's quest line and the awakening of her powers through her connection to the Titans. It's a really fascinating side of lore, but like we've mentioned already we don't have any new story content coming to the game or anything further to announce."

Q: "I want to give a shout out to John, Corinne, and Trick in particular. What a great group of people who clearly love this series! Would love to know about their canon Rooks/romances and their playthroughs" 

Corinne: "At this point I've done so many playthroughs it's difficult to keep them all straight! If there was one that I'd say is my "canon" however, I'd say it would be my Shadow Dragon Qunari Rogue, named 'Rin'. She was a Veil Ranger who was always a bit quick on the draw, chose to save Minrathous, selected Maevaris for Archon, and romanced her one true love: Taash! Ultimately Rin and Taash agreed that Taash should honor their life as a Rivani, before we defeated the gods, redeemed Solas, and sent him off into the fade to be with his own true love: The Inquisitor. <3"

John: "Qunari mage Rook who's romancing Harding. He's the handsomest Qunari in Thedas, and that's a burden he bears every day. I'd also just add that while I appreciate the kind words, a game like this couldn't come together without a tremendous number of people, far more than are active on social media. So shout out to the whole team for the hard work they've done."

Q: "Can we hope to see something related to Awakened Darkspawn in the future that the franchise has? (As in prequels or new instalments.)"

Corinne: "Difficult to say. I've always been a fan of the rare cases of Awakened Darkspawn, but if they were to turn up, it would need to be because they were right for the story."

Q: "My question is - what are your plans for upcoming patches? Do you expect that they'll mainly be bug fixes, or is there a possibility that there could be content patches? And if so, any chance for more interaction between Rook and the companions, since that's top of many of our wishlists for the game right now? (Lucanis in particular for me :) but every one of us has their own favorites!)"

Corinne: "I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! I believe we've responded to another question about the post launch plans, but let me include some of that information here as well. We're currently focused on various bug fixes, balance updates, and quality-of-life improvements. Notably new character creator options and armors for DA Day and N7 Day, and some cool features like Photo Mode filters. Beyond this focus however, we largely view this story as complete and are not planning for further story content."

Q: "Where does Andraste and the Maker fit into the world of Thedas given all that was revealed during Trespasser and Veilguard. We obviously know the whole story about the Evanuris and their role in shaping the world as it is, the Black City, the Blight, etc. Is The Maker just a human mythology that sprang up to explain this? Does The Maker still exist?"

John: "That's a weighty question. I do think there are some questions we should never (and likely will never) answer completely - I think the moment you reveal everything there is to know about a fantasy universe, you start to lose some of the mystery that brought people into it in the first place."

Q: "Are you going to add new armor or skins as you added the Mass Effect one?"

Corinne: "We actually just dropped the new Hawke-inspired armor, face paint, and body paint, as of today in celebration of Dragon Age Day!! Really hope you enjoy! I know for me personally, it's going to be my go-to transmog armor from now on."

Q: "What features/storylines were left on the cutting room floor? Followup if you're feeling generous: How was the development of Veilguard viewed internally, and was the majority of the studio satisfied with the time given to develop the game?"

Corinne: "Tightening up content and making cuts is a tough but typical part of game development. A few of the biggest cuts we had to make were trimming down the Faction story arcs, and letting go of a few explorable spaces. There were also a few areas, like blighted Weisshaupt that we could've returned to and explore. In both cases however, I believe we rightly opted to let go of these quests and areas in favor of increased focus on the quality of the existing Faction quests and exploration areas and shipping a high quality performing experience."

Q: "After reading the Dragon Age: The Veilguard book I noticed the jurassic tortoises didn't make the cut into the game, they were also teased in the initial teaser trailer from a few years ago. Any particular reason they were cut?"

John: "It's less about them getting cut and more that they just never moved far enough ahead to be a part of the game with full animation sets (combat, locomotion, etc)"

Q: "Is there any hope that you'll be announcing official mod tools, or a toolset like Dragon Age: Origins?"

Corinne: "No, we don't have any plans for official mod support."

Q: "My question is >! where does Solas/where do Solas and the Inquisitor go off to at the end if he’s redeemed? Back into the prison he made or just the fade in general?"

John: "We're leaving that ambiguous on purpose, but given that the Fade is shaped by dreams and thoughts, I think it's fair to say that the section of the Fade that Solas and the Inquisitor end up in is a lot nicer than the Fade that Solas gets trapped in with the other two endings."

Q: "How do you think Veilguard sets up the future of the franchise? Where would you like to take it from here?"

Corinne: "I'm sure it won't surprise you when I say we riff on this topic a lot! What really captures my imagination now that we've resolved some of the mysteries pertaining to the blight and the Elven gods, is exploring the aftermath of this crisis in a deeply destabilized Thedas. As you can imagine, given a blight of this magnitude, and the revelations of the Elven gods, it's going to have long lasting geo-political implications, and there will be those eager to take advantage of the situation. Not to mention, there is so much yet to explore in the nature of the the Dwarves and Qunari, and their relationship to the Titans and Dragons respectively."

John: "To riff on what Corinne is saying - I think, for myself, I'd love to look at taking it down from 'end of the world' to 'the world is changing, how do you adapt and react'. The balance of power has changed, and the Sword of Damocles that is the Evanuris and the Blight is no longer hanging over the world. What does that look like? Who's on top now? And with all the revelations brought up in DATV, what does that look like for the Dwarves, or the Qunari?"

Q: "1) I've seen people that they believe Andraste was a vessel for Mythal because of a comment Morrigan makes about a previous vessel falling in love with an Almarri Chieftain. Is this the case or was she talking about Flemeth? 2. About the Executors, is their manipulation more on the level of leaking information to select people to guide events, or is it more along the lines of "Loghain suspects that Cailan wants to ally with Orlais, let's stoke his hatred by having him see/hear events that remind him of what they did." 3. Lastly, are there any plans to let us visit Kal Sharok proper in any future games? It was great getting a small glimpse of the Dwarves from there and see an outpost but would love to see the actual city!"

John: "I think I'm going to have to keep the first question a mystery for everyone. :) For the second, it varies. The Executors are very mysterious and, more importantly, incredibly risk averse. They attempt to manipulate events in the most subtle way they can manage. Sometimes that means leaving a particularly inflammatory document on the right desk. Sometimes it means stoking existing fears and doubts. Not everything they try is successful, in part because of how unwilling they are to put themselves at risk. For Loghain, it would have been incredibly subtle. He's smart, strong willed and, in his own way, loyal to Ferelden to a fault. For others, it would've been different. I'd love to do more with Kal Sharok as there are some interesting stories still to tell that involve them, but we don't have anything to announce as it relates to future games."

Q: "If you could make one of the faction leaders a party member in the next game, who would you choose?"

Corinne: "For me, it would absolutely be Evka and Antoine (you have to bring them as a couple, right???). They've come to have place in my heart, and I would love to know what the future of the Wardens looks like. That said, a couple of runners up: Maevaris Tilani, and a reprised companion role for Isabela, would make me very excited!"

Q: "Did you expect so many players to be so thirsty over Emmrich? He is the best player in the game for me, thank you for his lovely presence."

Corinne: "I mean, we definitely had our suspicions. Within the dev team, we are also fans of the game, and what we found was that some of us were very drawn to, and quite vocal about, our resident necromancer. There's something so endearing about his gentle demeanor and that juxtaposition of necromancy as a force for good and reverence, that makes him really compelling."

Q: "I wanted to start out by saying I love this game, but one of my major questions is: What happened with the Lords of Fortune? They have significantly less content and reactivity than the other factions with Rook not even commenting on things that they would already know like Isabela explaining what "Pulling a Barv" is. Similarly, the Lords don't have a theme for the Lighthouse OR colorways or even a real faction quest line like the others have. Were they intended to be a different faction (a qunari/tal vashoth one maybe) and it got swapped late? Where they just added late when time/budget was already running low? Was it determined that fewer players would pick that faction so less resources were allocated? I feel like there's a reason as to why since the difference between playing as a Lord and playing as any other faction feels really extreme."

Corinne: "We always knew that some of the factions needed to have a larger presence in the overall story than others, so when we approached our content planning, we took that into account. They are inherently assymetrical. That said, I think there is a lot of interesting material to now work with in regards to the Lords of Fortune and the Rivain Coast if that's right for another story."

Q: "What was the motivation behind writing the Inquisitior's missives and the ultimate fate of southern Thedas? Is that an area you are likely to revisit in future games? T his question is the result of a lot of discussion that's been had in the fandom as of late and one to which there's no definite answer, but I'm curious: as developers and writers, what features and qualities do you believe make up Dragon Age's core identity?"

Corinne: "Around the time we approached Alpha, we realized that this blight, and the impact of the gods on all of Thedas was so much bigger than what the player would see in the north. We felt this was a natural opportunity to have the Inquisitor serve as that connection to the events happening in the South, to show that the entirety of Thedas was impacted, and the Inquisitor was not one to stand idly by. Sometimes I daydream about exploring the parallel adventures of the Inquisitor in the south while these events are unfolding in the north. That could be a really fascinating tale and perspective. Regarding Dragon Age's core identity. Well, that's a big question and one that will mean different things to different people. I can tell you that internally we've always stood-by the mantra that 'Dragon Age is an experience about people'. That is to say, the setting serves as an opportunity to really explore the depths and motivations of characters during times of crisis, joy, and companionship. Another that I reflect on frequently is how Dragon Age has become a franchise where each game has been different in its approach, and while it can make these titles challenging to develop, it also creates an opportunity to keep the franchise fresh."

Q: "What was the reasoning behind only making Dock Town an explorable area in Minrathous, rather than a combination of areas of the city, such as where the upper class lives?" [I think this comment was edited at some point after posting hence some of the answer below seeming unrelated]

John: "Given the state of Thedas at the end of DATV, Minrathous has become the diplomatic hub for the entire continent. While we could, to some degree, avoid references to the Divine and Ferelden's leader by virtue of this game taking place in Northern Thedas, I don't think that would be possible (or satisfying) going forward. There will, as always, be some choices that we won't reference, but others are, I think, going to be required to tell a coherent story in the future. Focus, more than anything. We originally had a few areas in Minrathous but rather than spread our resources thinly across multiple areas, we chose to focus on Dock Town and make sure it felt coherent and cohesive, as well as doing our best to stamp out any bugs we found. If we ever revisit Minrathous (which I'd love to do), I think we'd spend more time in the other districts. Both Harding and Davrin have specific, non-quantum reasons for being willing to sacrifice everything to stop the gods. For Davrin, he saw Weisshaupt fall - and he had his own opportunity to heroically sacrifice himself taken away. For Harding, she's been on this quest for nearly a decade, and she saw Varric, her friend and mentor, fall. Neve/Lucanis could have worked in either slot but that multiplies the complexity even further - and Neve already was earmarked for the wards."

Q: "During development, did you plan for a cameo of any companion from previous games that ultimately got scrapped? If so, may I ask who? And on this topic, has an appearance of the Hero of Ferelden on the table at any point? Is there a reason they haven't appeared since Origins?"

Corinne: "Thank you so much for the kind words! Glad you enjoyed! While not a companion, for a long while Charter had a role in the game. Ultimately we felt this wasn't the best fit and decided to move away from her appearance. In some cases, the opposite was true, where we added former Companions. Bringing back Isabela was a relatively late call, but we did feel we had the right role for her to fill within the Lords of Fortune. I often think about the role the Hero of Ferelden might play. It's a challenging one due to the choices the player may have made, not to mention how we handle giving them a voice that matches player expectation given they were a silent protaganist. But I do think there is something there, and I would like to explore it, if we can find the right story to tell."

Q: "If an elf were to, say, exist in the Fade for an extended period of time, would they regain the elven magic (if not already a mage) and immortality? 👀 And if, hypothetically, they one day returned to the physical realm, would those qualities persist? (Tried to be as unspoil-y as possible!)"

John: "I think, at this point, no one really knows what's going to happen to an elf who spends an extended time in the Fade. In part because the Elves of today and the Elves of Solas' past are not really the same at all. But also, the Fade has changed since Solas was a spirit. So while he may have theories, he can't say anything for certain."

Q: "Throughout the game there are many hints at a new storyline involving the past of the Qun, The Devouring Storm, and the involvement of The Executors. In what capacity can we expect this new narrative thread to be explored (novels, comics, next game)?"

John: "I think that if these story elements aren't at the core of any new material, they're at the very least going to exist on the periphery. The story of the Evanuris is done - the gods are dead (or imprisoned) and Thedas is in a state of flux and uncertainty. I imagine that whatever happens next is going to be a surprise to everyone, including the people of Thedas."

Q: "I was wondering what happened to the forgotten one and why was he scared of the eye does that mean something or is it just him say that he is scared of going back into the fade"

John: "When Anaris is defeated, he's sent back to the Void. What's there isn't something anyone really knows, but if you read the other Codex entries scattered around Arlathan, it's clear that Anaris has touched something far darker and more dangerous than he expected, and now it has his scent, so to speak."

Q: "Compared to previous installments, Dragon Age: The Veilguard makes an effort to de-centralize the moral complexities of Thedas (i.e. the softening of the Antivan Crows, the lack of slavery seen in Tevinter, etc), instead focusing on choices based on character arcs instead of politics and/or morals. Is this shift an intentional one? If so, should we expect these kinds of character choices to be the new standard for Dragon Age games?"

John: "What worked for DATV isn't necessarily what's going to work for the future. Particularly with Thedas left in the state it's in - the balance of power has shifted dramatically. The South is suffering and the North isn't doing much better. Even those who may have forgotten past prejudices and put aside their differences in the name of stopping the gods are now being faced with a very different world than when they began this fight."

Q: "What other player choices from Inquisition and/or Origins & DA2 would you have liked to have implemented if you had more time and resources? Also, what characters would you have wanted to bring back?"

John: "Well of Sorrows. I think that's the biggest one - and we had some ideas for what we wanted to do with it. Unfortunately, making games is rarely a straight line endeavour, and some of the challenges we ran into required us to scrap that choice. I'd have liked to do more with the Divine as well, though with how little we touched on Andrasteism in this game I think it would've been a bigger challenge than expected. I think Fenris is the easy answer, but it's also the real one. Given his history, his relationship with Dorian and Mae could've been fun to explore, particularly depending on how you left him in DA2. That said, the challenge always does come down to 'quantum' - if a character could be dead, you can't make them load bearing, so they end up relegated to a cameo."

Q: "Is there a canon reason (maybe in some supplemental stories) that explains what happened to Fen'Harel's agents? Are some of the Dalish clans still working for Solas? What are the Arishok and the rest of the Qunari doing while the Antaam are conquering parts of Thedas? Does their absence in veilguard imply that they secretly approve of their actions or are planning on using them to their benefit? The faction of crows we interact with is very heroic and often puts aside their role as assassins in order to protect Treviso's citizens. Does their altruism create fiction between them and the other factions, who might see them as weaker or idealistic? What are some of the other factions like?"

John: "Solas' experience leading the rebellion against the Evanuris turned him against the idea of being a leader. You see it in the memories - the entire experience of being in charge ate at him and, ultimately, convinced him he needed to do this on his own. And his own motivations were very different from the motivations of those who wanted to follow him - he had no real regard for their lives or their goals. So at some point between Trespasser and DATV, he severed that connection with his 'followers' and went back to being a lone wolf. There are Dalish clans who are sympathetic to his goals, but even there, there's an understanding that he's too dangerous to have a more formal connection with, and that he will, ultimately, sacrifice them to his own ends if necessary. The Antaam no longer recognize the authority of the Arishok. Part of why they've split into warring factions of warlords is that they felt his adherence to the Qun (which he still adheres to, even now) was holding them back, so they organized what I'd describe as less of a coup and more of a 'choosing to ignore his orders' and launched their own attack on the mainland. Absolutely. I don't recall if this exchange made it into the final game, so apologies if not, but it's very clear that the faction of Crows you interact with is the 'idealists' of the bunch. The rest of the Crows, on the other hand, are far more pragmatic and willing to work with whoever emerges on top of the pile. Illario's far more representative of the average Antivan Crow than either Teia or Viago, and it's only Caterina that kept him in check this long."

Q: "What led to the player Quanari appearance compared to the Antaam, who look like Quanari from the previous game. Was it an armor modeling issue or just a design choice?"

Corinne: "To be honest, it's both. First let me say that when you have a character creator with the breadth of sliders and options for both head and body, that does create some constraints that you need to work within. We felt this was ultimately a good trade-off for the player, to ensure they could get the full range of face and body sliders that the other lineages were afforded. Also, we viewed the player-created Qunari as a continuation of the style of player-created Qunari in Dragon Age: Inquisition, which in both games, differ from some of the other forms of Qunari we've seen."

Q: "Having reviewed some of the game files, I'm curious about what the "dreamer" mechanics would've looked like? Would there have been dreamers on every map? Would it have just been a dialogue or would we have been able to see/experience the memories/dreams the dreamers are stuck in?"

Corinne: "We explored the idea of Dreamers at several points in developement. I believe the instance you're referring to was a mechanic in which you could encouter a Dreamer in the world, and then also encounter their corresponding consiousness in the Crossroads. We would have used this as a way to encourage a "back-and-forth" set of optional quests and mysteries to encourage exploration and discovery. Ultimately we abandoned the concept because mechanically the Crossroads Gates and corresponding Champions were providing a similar experience in driving the player from the Crossroads, out into the world, and then back to the Crossroads again."

Q: "The hair physics in the game are incredible. When did the studio commit to improving the hair options/physics, and was there any conversation/debate over that? Bad hair has been a staple of the franchise, so this was a delightful change to see."

Corinne: "Thank you so much! We heard the fans loud and clear, when it comes to character customization, that we needed to step up our hair game. This tech was something our engineers, character artists, and technical animators were all deeply passionate about (as you can tell!). So all of that combined it was a relatively early decision to invest in."

Q: "Some of the companions’ questlines left me craving more lore! For example, how did Valta end up as the Oracle and how does her gift differ from Harding’s? How did Zara manage to get Lucanis possessed as a rogue? Are there any other Forgotten Ones like Anaris actively trying to make their way back to the world? In short, might these questions be answered in the next Dragon Age game or additional media, or are they purposefully left open?"

Corinne: "I'm so glad these stories have their hooks in you! We have to leave some threads to tug on for future stories. ;-)"

Q: "(Spoilery question) Do elves or dwarves exist beyond Thedas?"

John: "That's a great question - and it's actually one that Bellara herself asks. I think 'what lies beyond the sea' is one of the most interesting spaces to explore in Dragon Age and whether the same people exist there is something that... well, I have some ideas, but I don't want to get into spoilers."

Q: "What happened to red lyrium? It feels like it was all but forgotten after DAI, even though it is blighted lyrium, and it felt like it would have made perfect sense to dig into its lore and workings a bit more since Ghilan'nain is the mother of the blight, and now knowing what the ancient elves did to the titans for lyrium.Red lyrium caused a lot of grief over the games that feels is just up in the air now, I'm curious if it was written out for the sake of a different narrative. Sortof connected to my previous question, if red lyrium is now not so significant in the lore/missing from it, why did the two gods need a specifically red lyrium dagger after losing Solas' purified red lyrium idol one? How does one purify something/someone of the blight itself?"

John: "Red lyrium is still present in DATV - it's how Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan are able to craft their dagger, after all, and it ties directly into Harding's personal quest - but at a certain point it felt like it wasn't serving much of a purpose 'out in the world', so to speak, that the Blight wasn't already serving. It made a lot more sense in DAI, where you had the Red Templars who were directly using it to gain power, but without them in the picture, we chose to lighten the emphasis on it for DATV. Particularly in a game where the connection and threat of the Blight is so much more immediate, with the gods out in the world."

Q: "How did you get the hair physics to do all that?"

John: "A lot of tremendous work from character art, programming, tech art and tech animation. I'm sure I'm missing some groups but, yeah, the hair really is incredible. I've been on DA since DAO and I recall the (fair) critiques we got of our hair post-DAI. It was incredible to see it come together."

Q: "Where does Emmrich sleep? He’s the only one without a bed in his room lol"

John: "He sleeps standing up, like a horse."

Q: "which of the three/four endings do you find the most thematically satisfying? in regard to solas and/or rook (because i’m not sure the answer is the same for both!) & why isn’t rook invited to the book club?? sorry this is my villain origin story, why is my beloved emmrich enabling this social ostracism. does rook canonically hate to read?"

Corinne: "As a Solavellan, I personally love the Redeem ending with the Inquisitor/Solas romance variant. I cried my eyes out at the end of Trespasser, and now that they can finally be together to know the joys of their love makes me so happy."

John: "I'm a big fan of Outsmart, largely because I think there's something deeply satisfying in outsmarting someone who is very confident about their cleverness and spends a lot of the game reminding you of it. That said, I will admit that the Solavellan ending is deeply moving, even for someone who, at one point, wanted to fight Solas like a Yakuza boss. As for why Rook's not invited - it's entirely an attempt to avoid forcing roleplay on a character that may not fit your idea of Rook. Some people's Rooks may not have the connection to the team that would let the book club make complete sense. That said, I totally get why people wish their Rook could be involved."

Q: "TLDR: ll some classes be buffed? Iirc in an interview corinne (i think? I dont remember where or who), said shield toss got nerfed cuz it was waaaay too strong. Having playing the game now with pretty much all classes, will there be some balancing changes? I definetely dont want shield toss to be nerfed again, i love it soooo much, but its definetely waaaaaay above everything else i managed to build so far."

Corinne: "We're definitely monitoring class balance, and have generally taken the stance of "buff not nerf". That said, we're finding pretty good viability for all of the specializations, with the right supporting skills, gear, and companion builds. So in terms of priority that's lead us to largely focus on addressing properties on skills and gear that were not functioning as intended. I don't want to dismiss your feedback here though - I'll take a moment to dig deeper into our Veil Ranger data and see how those builds are comparing specifically. Glad you're enjoying the shield toss builds. That playstyle was definitely one that we were very excited about supporting!"

Q: "Why did Assan have to die with Davrin in the Ghilan'nain choice?"

Corinne: "Turlum is a powerful bond. There was simply no way Assan would have given up on Davrin so easily. Hope is a powerful force when it comes to the people you love, and sometimes we risk everything for it."

Q: "Something that has me confused. When Bellara/Neve are blighted but help use the blight to stop Elgarnan and at the end when all the blight in the area died and they were cured of the blight. How did they get cured? Is the blight itself now curable? Also, how did Solas manage to cure the red lyrium idol of the blight so he could have it back to it being the normal lyroum dagger?"

John: "When Solas bound himself (or, depending on your ending, was forcibly bound) to the Veil, it severed the connection that the Blight had to the waking world. The reality is that the Veil has been leaking ever since the Magisters first entered the Black City, and the dreams of the Titans gave it its terrible and awesome power. Now that the Veil is fully repaired, the Blight lacks that motive force, and being so close to the epicenter of that change has stripped the Blight in Minrathous of its vitality. It's calcified now - dead - and Bellara/Neve no longer suffer its effects. If they'd been anywhere else, further from that epicenter, it would've likely been different and they still would be looking for a cure. But without that power behind it, it's less dangerous and deadly than it's ever been before. So while it isn't generally 'curable', it's less of a short-term death sentence than it has been previously. As for how Solas cleansed the idol - another ritual. This one was much smaller scale, but a lot more dangerous."

Q: "What lead you to the decision to step away from active conversations with the companions as in previous Bioware games, where you can initiate them at any moment and ask exhaustive questions?"

John: "For us, because of tech limitations, it became a choice between exhaustive investigate conversations, or letting the companions move more freely around the Lighthouse. With the kind of experience we were going for, one where seeing the team grow around you is paramount, we felt that seeing them interact in common spaces (and in each other's rooms) made more sense."

Q: "I have just one very important question: what are your thoughts on Solas and Rook as a pairing? Their chemistry and interactions were a highlight in the game for me personally and I need to be able to sass and then kiss that egghead."

Corinne: "Oh gosh, you and me both! I'm not sure any of us could have anticipated how notable that chemistry turned out. And what excites me is how this relationship is something that could be developed even further."

Q: "I was wondering if it would be possible to see Cassandra in Nevarra interacting with Emmerich or Zevran in Antiva interacting with Lucanis? I understand that there a danger of turning any game into a cameo fest that would only appeal to old school fans but I did miss them. Especially as we had Isabella and Dorian in Rivain and Tevinter. To make the question a little more general what are the chances of seeing pre veilguard companions in any future iteration of dragonage?"

John: "I think the joy of the kind of 'fresh start' that the end of The Veilguard gives us is that, if we do make another game, we're no longer spending so much of the early game not only onboarding players into a new story, but also onboarding some of them (namely, those who didn't play DAI or don't remember it) into the story that leads up to this story. And part of what that allows you is more opportunity for returning characters who are meaningful, because their past is less likely to be narratively load bearing to the story. People who recognize them will have a moment of recollection, and people who don't won't be any more confused by the experience."

Q: "How did Jowin achieve the rank of First Warden? Was he ever deserving of the kind of respect Davrin seemed to have for him?"

John: "By the time you meet Jowin in DATV, he's become a political creature more than anything else. Which makes sense - after what happened to the Order in Origins, I think there was an internal realization that they had to spend more time making nice with the leaders of the various countries so no one would ever do to them again what Loghain did back then. But he didn't get that position entirely due to his connections. He was a fearsome warrior and a brave Warden in his own right, saving people and winning against impossible odds time and time again. He's older, though, and is still fighting the last war in his mind. Internally, we always described him as the general who was a brilliant tactician back in his time, but war has changed so dramatically and he refuses to keep up. I think he was deserving of that respect, though - and if you choose to talk him down (which very few of you seem to have done) you'll get a glimpse of the man he used to be."

Q: "If Solas ritual succeeded, what would have happened to the elves? And to the human? The art book make it look like they just drop dead but solas dialogs don't seems to go in that direction"

John: "I think the reality is that even Solas couldn't properly answer that question. In his mind, there would be some pain and suffering, for sure, as everyone adjusted to the raw magic now pouring into the world and the demons everywhere, but eventually everyone would live surrounded by magic and possibility. Immortality would be possible as well, and you can't make a world saving omelette without breaking a few eggs. I also think Solas is a gifted liar to everyone, including himself. Deep down he knew that the ritual was going to result in large scale casualties, but he saw it as an acceptable price to pay to fix what he saw as his mistake."

Q: "Unlike the last game, there were 2 fewer Companions, a rouge, and a warrior less, if it was up to you what sort of characters would fill up those two spots? and also if you could have a character from earlier games temporarily join you for a single quest who would you choose? with the exception of Bioware games which RPG game is your favorite"

Corinne: "Oh gosh, well I'll answer some of questions 1 & 2 together... I would have loved to bring back Fenris, either as a cameo or to fill that Warrior slot. As for the Rogue role, I do think something akin to the Saboteur Specialization would have been an interesting style for a Companion. Favorite RPG outside of BioWare games, well I'll give you three in order: Baldur's Gate 3, then Xenogears, followed by FFXII."

Q: "What happens to the lighthouse and the crossroads after the end of the game? Do the Veiljumpers claim it?"

Corinne: "Good question! I actually daydream about this one a lot! Does Rook, assuming they survived, continue to reside there given what they'd been through with Solas? Is stewardship returned to the Elven people? One thing has always been true for me: The Lighthouse existing as it does is intrinsically linked to the Caretaker, and I doubt we've seen the last of them."

Q: "My questions are mainly centered around the game's lore. Dragon Age Veilguard seems to have established a very elf centric past for the world as well as the races populating the world. Current state of the Titans, the Blight, the Old Gods, and some other things I may be forgetting, they all have links and origins to the Evanuris and the rest of the elves. In future installments, can we hope for other races to get more attention with respect to this? Because right now, it feels that most of the biggest mysteries of the universe as well as circumstances leading to the present state of the world, are a result of the elves... T o me, the magic system in Veilguard felt very different from the other games in the series. When Bellara mentioned stuff like 'recalibrate the matrices', 'readjusting energy flow', etc., it felt more scifi than fantasy. None of the past Dragon Age games had this kind of talk and it felt too big a leap for going from Southern Thedas to the North, especially considering none of the Northern characters in past Dragon Age games spoke like this either. This was one of the few instances in the game that felt immersion breaking to me. Can you guys help reconcile Veilguard's magic system with the magic of the past games?"

John: "I do agree that the elves have had their place in the sun at this point. We're never going to stop telling stories about the elves, but I think there are plenty of interesting stories to tell in Thedas where the Evanuris are tertiary characters at most. I think that's a fair reaction, but I'll answer the question in two parts. First - Bellara assumes she knows everything about magic. She probably knows more about the way ELVEN magic works better than anyone else in the world who isn't an Evanuris - but that doesn't mean she actually knows how magic itself works. The thing about the Evanuris is that, ultimately, they were able to take a very specific type of magic and shape it into doing what they wanted. But even their understanding of magic was only skin deep. Bellara and Emmrich get into this a little bit in their banter, but so much of the rest of the world - the magic of death that the Mourn Watch wield, for example, or the magic of the deep Fade that Bellara feels when she does some of her experiments in the lighthouse - is not the same as Elven magic. Even the magic that Tevinter wields, the magic of the Southern mages, is different from what the Evanuris used. The magic of the Evanuris is powerful but it's sterile, and it's constrained. So while the Evanuris have made magic work in a way that's more predictable and understandable, it's not the only kind of magic out there, and even then, I'd say they understood it at a very surface level. People were confidently describing how the natural world worked back in the 16th century. Very few of them were right."

Q: "I need to know about companion approval! I understand how companion bond rank works as it is well explained and visible in-game, but I cannot seem to find a good explanation for approval. Are the two linked? What effect does approval/disapproval have in the game? Is there something I'm missing in-game where current approval level is visible and I just haven't found it yet? PS: Spellblade Supremacy"

Corinne: "Yes! They are linked! Approval does contribute a small-to-moderate amount of progress towards your Bond. Disapproval is a small negative, but it's important to note that your Bond cannot de-level. Overall however, the surest way to advance your Bond is by helping the Companions with their personal quests. Also, really glad you enjoyed Spellblade as much as we did! The gameplay team really outdid themselves with that Specialization."

Q: "I'm mostly wondering if/how the griffons can be saved as a species since there's only one surviving clutch. It seems like a lack of genetic diversity would doom them to re-extinction, but I'm hoping there's a lore-friendly way to overcome that."

John: "It's funny you say that because I keep thinking the exact same thing. I can't remember exactly how much genetic diversity you need to have to make a species viable but I am sure it's more than just the clutch of eggs you saved from the Gloom Howler. But in a setting with as much magic and mystery as Dragon Age, I think that's probably the least of the problems the Griffons are going to face going forward."

Q: "With the ending showing a cured Neve/Bellara is that implying that the Blight outside of the Fade has been cured? If so, do Wardens no longer hear the calling, and what does that mean for the Kal-Sharok dwarves? Especially curious about this since DA:I implied the HoF was searching for a cure to the calling. In the concept art book it seemed like there were plans to show us more of Minrathous/Tevinter than just Dock Town. Curious to know what changed and if we will ever have an opportunity to return to other areas of the city?"

John: "The Blight is forever changed. It's less perilous and less virulent than it was before, and whatever motive force was coming through the Veil to empower it at the end of the game has been severed. That said, it still exists in some form, and not everyone is going to be cured in the same way. Beyond that - the Wardens no longer hear the whisper of the Calling, but right at the edges of perception, they're hearing something. What is it? Great question. With how long this game's been in development, there are things that have come and gone over time as we shift the project's scope and direction from one type of game to another. Originally we did have more of Minrathous built out for the player, but we chose to focus on making Dock Town feel meaningfully full of content instead of creating more areas just to put nothing in them. I will say that, for me, I want to revisit Minrathous in the future. I don't think we gave it enough time and there are multiple other stories that can be told both in it and with it. Particularly with the way the game ends, its importance in the world has only gone up, as it's become the diplomatic hub of Thedas, and thus a place of even greater importance in the world."

Q: "Maybe someone else can answer this question but why does Mythal’s essence relieve Solas of his guilt in the romanced Inquisitor ending when in his memories, she’s objecting to what he’s doing? Since winged dragons are female, does that mean the Archdemons/Old Gods are female? I noticed they’re labeled as male on the wiki and was unsure if it’s not updated or Old God followers assumed or were told they were male. I understand if this might pose as a logistical nightmare but would the devs consider polyamorous and/or open relationships instead of monogamy if they haven’t already? Given how diverse sexuality is in Thedas, I’m surprised there aren’t more instances of poly/open relationships. I miss going to brothels too"

John: "People grow and change over time. Mythal's essence - and in particular, the fragment of her spirit that Morrigan carries, that she got from Flemeth - is not the same Mythal who he knew millennia ago. Centuries of living in this world and being around the kinds of people Flemeth found herself around - the Hero of Ferelden, Hawke, the Inquisitor - changed her views, and made her realize her own culpability in turning Solas into the kind of person he is now. Correct, all Archdemons are female. Elgar'nan, of course, doesn't really care what reality is, only what HIS reality is, and so he's quite happy to see Lusacan as simply being an extension of himself and, thus, male. Something about Elgar'nan that we only really show in the ending is that he is, in truth, just as scarred and blighted as Ghilan'nain, but he uses a portion of his magic to always look handsome and regal, because his ego really is that big. Polyamory is something we've talked about doing before, and it's something that I know the writing team was into, but rather than simply turning it into a 'you can have multiple romances' toggle we wanted to be sure we did it respectfully and properly."

Q: "Does Solas know about the Executors and will he ever appear again in future games (similar to Morrigan)? Was there ever a point that the Inquisitor was considered as the main or secondary protagonist for this game? It was interesting to have a person with no knowledge about Solas–a cunning, ancient elven god–try to track him down especially when that anonymity did not work in their favor anyway (Solas knew about Rook for a year prior to meeting). Was 'rook' initially an alias for the Inquisitor, which they'd utilize to stay under the radar in the north, away from Solas' agents eyes and able to track him down because they knew him well (ex-companion/friend/lover)? Like was this idea ever discussed at the table or suggested by writers but trunked for xyz reasons? Idon't know if Trick Weekes will see this but I just wanted to tell them thank you for writing Solas-- in a HEA ending, what do you think they're upto in the prison? (besides the obvious)"

John: "Solas knows more about the Executors than he's let on - in fact, he knows more about the Executors than any other living being, including the other Evanuris (though I suppose they're not technically living beings anymore). But even he isn't entirely sure what they're up to or who they actually are. Their paths have crossed before, though - beyond the Tevinter Nights story that they briefly show up in. As to whether he appears again - I think it's fair to say Solas' story is done, at least for now. Even back in early development, the protagonist for this game was always going to be someone other than the Inquisitor. I don't recall if, in those early days, we ever discussed the possibility of bringing them back - the struggle with having the same protagonist game after game is that you really do paint yourself into a corner. Either it becomes prohibitively expensive to account for branching, or you ultimately underserve the very people you're bringing them back for. Rook was always the protagonist, though in very early days Rook had a number of other potential monikers including Shrike and a number of other bird names that I do not remember."

Q: "Why aren’t the Tranquil ever mentioned or depicted in the game? Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure the word tranquil isn’t used even once. Have they been retconned? During development was there ever a conversation about potentially including a Solas wins ending? Where he succeeds in tearing down the Veil either because you let him or because you fail to stop him? I know I’d be curious to see what Thedas would look like afterward."

John: "Tranquility still exists. While not unheard of in Tevinter, the reality is that it's a far more common punishment in Southern Thedas than it ever was in Tevinter. In Tevinter, in particular, it's used more of a tool of political vengeance - but generally, only against a mage who is utterly without allies or political power. All the Tevinter mages you encounter in DATV, including Maevaris, still have some clout and subjecting them to the rite would be a huge expenditure of political capital for very little gain. Better to leave them alive and stripped of their formal authority. We had a few conversations about some non-standard game over endings, actually - anywhere from 'player takes too long in the Prologue' to an out-and-out 'yeah you know what I think I'll help Solas' conversation choice early on. What we released in the game I'm happy with though, as there are already multiple different endings you can get depending on your choices in the game."

Q: "Any chance we're going to get any behind-the-scenes content? I CRAVE a high-quality video clip of Zach doing mocap for Assan."

Corinne: "You never know! We do enjoy sharing new content from the game on our social channels so follow along in case something pops up."

Q: "What was your favourite region/area to work on (whether that be writing quests, level design, or any aspect)?"

Corinne: "For me, it was definitely Arlathan Forest. The team had so much fun with the exploration, the environmental storytelling, and the strange magic manifesting in the area. In particular I remember the first time I saw people that had been twisted into trees showing up in the area, I was taken back by the inventiveness of the team in capturing that beauty in horror. I must say, I also found the sightlines in the area absolutely gorgeous. It was really fun to watch it develop."

Q: "What are these called? [link]"

John: "Tadpoles is the name we use internally."

Q: "are telemetry surprising you in any regard?"

Corinne: "The biggest surprise for me in the telemetry is that the Save Minrathous/Treviso choice is basically split 50/50. We were all anticipating that saving Treviso would be the clear winner, but I'm happy to see it's not so cut and dry."

Q: "Did you ever thought that players would be addicted to having Rook barrel through crates and chests? There should be an Achievement for non stop barrel rolls lol."

Corinne: "Oh 100% yes! In fact, originally wide-spread destructibles weren't really planned for as a part of the game. We found with our particular take on combat that it just felt reaaaally good to smash the few destructibles that we did have. I think I spent the better part of a year putting in constant requests to make more and more things smash and break apart - not to mention the ability to roll through them! I'm glad to see I'm not alone in my obsession. Let's go break things!!"

Q: "1) Was there any plan with Radonis during concept period? 2) What more about Neve's family can you share? 3) Is there a parallel in the way Solas sacrificed the world to restore the elven world and Celene burned Halamshiral to save Orlais from a civil war? (Trick Weekes p l e a s e)"

Corinne: "At one point we did toy with having Radonis make an actual appearance in the game. In fact, if Minrathous falls to the Venatori, we had discussed having his execution on display, but we ultimately chose not to pursue this."

John: "For Neve, I'll have to ask Neve's writer, as I don't recall off the top of my head. For the question about Solas - I think it's less a direct parallel and more that Dragon Age is a series where major players sometimes have to make incredibly difficult decisions that may NOT necessarily be the best decision, but it's the best for them at the time - true for both Solas and Celene."

Q: "I just want to know... do the other companions also think Davrin's a hunk? Do you think there are companions who were rooting for a Rook x Companion romance as it was happening?"

John: "I think the different companions have different relationships with Davrin. Bellara, for example, sees him as almost a big brother - someone who she has a unique connection that she doesn't share with the other companions. Neve sees him as a fellow professional, who hunts monsters in much the same way as she does, just that his monsters are a lot more literal. As for who's rooting for a romance - I think Bellara is just excited whenever people get together. She's a huge romantic and a believer in happy ever after, so she's going to fully support whoever of her friends get together."

Q: "Please humor my newfound Nevarran cuisine obsession - it seems, based on the menu at the Lords of Fortune bar, that Nevarra is majority vegetarian ("want it Nevarran-style? Ask to leave off the meat!" or something like that), and we know Emmrich is a vegetarian. But Emmrich also reveals his father was a poor butcher. So, my questions - Who is eating the meat produced by Nevarran butchers if Nevarra is vegetarian enough that other countries equate Nevarran = veggie? Do butchers largely cater to non-Nevarran immigrants or visitors? Are the Mortalitasi/Mourn Watch entirely vegetarian (would make sense, just because of being put off by being around corpses all day, and their reverence for said corpses)"

John: "While Nevarra is a primarily vegetarian country, that doesn't mean everyone who lives there is a vegetarian. Nevarra attracts plenty of students and scholars from around the world, given its unique connection to the Necropolis and the specific magic tutelage that the Mourn Watch offers. With that in mind, its cuisine is going to be pretty broad across a number of different cultures and regions - and for some of those cuisines, meat is absolutely a very big part of it."

Q: "My biggest question is this: if Solas had been released by Mythal before Inquisition started, would he have let go of his plan? Was service to her all that was motivating him? Or would he have decided to continue with his plan until the inquisition showed him that the modern world mattered?"

John: "The latter, I think. It took the confluence of everything that's happened to him in the time since he woke back up to get him to where he needed to be for the Redeem ending. Guilt and regret motivate Solas."

Q: "When I’m writing, I tend to listen to music that goes along with it. Did any of the Devs have songs they listened to that they felt tied into the game or the characters?"

John: "I can't speak to the other writers necessarily, but for Bellara I listened to a LOT of Aphex Twin. There's something about the ambient weirdness that really worked for me as I was writing her character (to the point that one of their songs is my most listened song in 2024)."

Q: "Are rivalry paths abandoned for Bioware games? What made you design approval/bond in a way that only goes up?"

Corinne: "Oh definitely not! Rivalry will continue to have a role when the story calls for it. In the case of Veilguard, we conceived of this threat being so large, that your companions would commit no matter the cost. This afforded us some unique opportunities, like being able to tie the progression of the Companions to your relationship with them."

Q: "What are you as a team most proud of and are there any plans for a NG+ Update ?"

Corinne: "Gosh, there are so many ways I could answer this. And I think the answer would differ depending on who on the team you were to ask. So let me just say this: The creation of any game of this scope, with a team this large, is kind of miraculous when you consider all the knowledge, coordination, discussion, and expertise required. So broadly speaking, what I'm most proud of is the way the team came together to pivot and be true to BioWare's roots of creating great single-player party-based RPGs, and delivered such quality and stablity. I'm also quite proud of how player-first the effort was; Everything from being Steam native, to no Denuvo, to no micro transactions. We mustn't take for granted what monumental task it was to make this happen. There are individual features and experiences that I know we are all proud of as well. The character creator, for example, was a really big one for us. We've long sought to put the control over player-characters in the hands of the fans, and this is the game where the team believes we've best done that. In fact, it was central to one of our creative pillars "Be who you want to be". As for NG+, that's something we discussed, but at this point we don't have any plans to support it."

Q: "Can you go into more detail of Spite’s role in Rook and Lucanis’s romance? Did you expect everyone to want to romance Vorgoth?"

John: "Spite gives Lucanis and Rook privacy whenever they're being intimate. This was, I'm sure you'll be surprised to hear, a consistent topic of discussion as we planned out some of our romance scenes - is Spite watching? But no, he wanders off and reads a book (or whatever demons do for fun). At this point I am not surprised about anyone y'all want to romance. Sentient fog bank? Sure"

Q: "Looking further, what parts of Thedas you personally want to explore more (regardless if that will or will not be implemented in the future games)? Maybe specific time periods?"

John: "I don't think it's any secret that I find the idea of 'what lies across the sea' to be fascinating. It shows up a lot in Bellara's content - what happened in the parts of the world that weren't Thedas? But Kal-Sharok is another place I'd love to spend more time in. It has a very unique relationship to dwarven culture, and particularly in a post-DATV world, it feels like it'd be super interesting to get more time with them."

Q: "What made you decide to remove greatswords as an option? It's one of The fantasy weapons. Why did you choose to have a "convergent" design, gameplay wise, of classes? What i mean is that all classes have a melee option, a "parry" of sorts, amd a ranged option, with warriors throwing a nonexistent shield when 2h. Usually, in an rpg, different classes have different capabilities and limits, to make them feel more diverse. What made you choose otherwise?"

Corinne: "Originally when we concieved the 2-handed weapon stance for Warrior we did want to include Greatswords. We moved away from it largely because the movement set when swinging a large blade diverges quite a bit from what you'd see with an axe or a hammer. Ultimately we felt, given the number of bespoke animations and transitions it would take, that the time is better invested in other areas of the experience. Regarding the classes, we opted for a unified control scheme and baseline set of actions each could take (e.g. every class having a ranged attack for example) for several reasons: 1. In knowing that each class has a similar core set of actions, it allowed to better design the encounters, levels, and missions with a greater level of variety. If Warrior, for example, had no ranged attack, a large number of the missions would have much more egregious constraints on what we expect the player to do. 2. It allowed us significantly more space to play with the types of builds and breath of the skill tree. We're all very proud of how this played out in practice, and in our view created a high degree of divergence. 3. Given the real-time nature of the gameplay, it's a benefit to lean into the muscle memory the players have already established on prior playthroughs"

Q: "Hi I'm non-binary and the ability to be non-binary in this game was really special and made me feel seen in a way no game has before. In addition---TAASH! "NUFF SAID. Love em! My question is: how did you get so much past censors in 2024? How did you deal with localization? Was EA supportive of the push for more representation? Do you think we can see more diverse companions like Taash and our own player character in the future in Bioware games? I am a little worried about the backlash to Taash and the player character, especially right now. It is scary to think about going backwards after you've just achieved this amazing thing for video games. Thank you so much for making me feel so loved playing a video game, this game gives me so much hope and joy for being a trans gamer and nerd and person. I know there's a lot of hate but for me it means the world."

Corinne: "I'm so glad Taash meant so much to you, and so many others! There are two mantras we often refer to within the team: 1. We believe stories are better when they reflect a large variety of relatable experiences. 2. Games can be a reflection of the teams that make them. Taash's journey and support we had in bringing it to life, was something everyone on the team wanted to do and was invested in. It was a story and experience we wanted to tell that made sense in this time and place. I wont lie, it wasn't easy. This is a delicate subject, deserving of respect, that is deeply personal to so many. We didn't want to mess it up, especially for those it would mean the most to. We were fortunate to have a lot of support through internal and external partners to ensure we were handling this story with care, and of course the talented writing and experience of Trick Weekes. It lead to a lot of edits, localization challenges, and some rewrites. But as the old adage goes, nothing worth having comes easy."

Q: "If Solas is bald because the ancient elves just go bald during their immortal lifespans, then why does Elgar’nan have hair?"

John: "I think maybe it's more accurate to say that Solas lost hair because of stress. Elgar'nan, on the other hand, doesn't feel stress - he makes other people feel stress. And, honestly, Elgar'nan is incredibly vain. Something that doesn't show up until the end game is that he's also very vain. The reason he doesn't look blighted and corrupted throughout the game is he uses a portion of his magic to remain looking the way he does."

Q: "In the DAI trespasser DLC elves saw the crossroads different from the other races. Why was that not the case in this game?"

John: "The Caretaker gets into it a little bit, but while the Crossroads in Trespasser were 'peaceful', the Crossroads in DATV are under assault by the gods."

Q: "If you could start DAI or DATV again, what would you change/add/remove? Could you share with us the most emotionally difficult moment to achieve in DATV? And the easiest? Favorite moment?"

Corinne: "One of the most difficult moments to land was actually the prologue. It sets up a lot of context for the player, and evokes a lot of big feelings. We did many revisions on it before we found the right balance of pacing, information, and tension. In my experience, prologues always are among your most reworked content"

John: "Absolutely the Varric twist. There's always a balance of trying to leave hints for the players while not having them guess the ultimate end game of it, and it's INCREDIBLY hard to make that judgment yourself, because you KNOW what's coming, and all you can see is 'how could anyone NOT get that this is coming?' But I'm happy with how it was received and how it landed. The actual conversation with Varric at the end, though - that one was a gut punch."

Q: "So… does Bianca know?"

John: "Yeah. Harding would have gotten word to her."

Q: "I'm curious to know two things, both Solas related: -What happened to his followers? Presumably they weren't /just/ following him and were on board with the revolution that he represented. -What was his plan past making a new prison and transferring the two Evanuris? It sounds like still an eventual tearing down of the Veil but how was he actually mitigating the risks across Thedas? (Presumably with that network of followers)"

John: "Essentially that. Keep the Evanuris imprisoned, tear down the Veil, and then Solas was CERTAIN everything would get better, even if some people had to, tragically, die. One of Solas' defining characteristics, of course, is that he overestimates how successful his plans are going to be (if you listen carefully to the argument between Solas and Varric in the prologue, Varric makes this exact point - everything Solas has tried ended in disaster, so why wouldn't this as well?) As to mitigating the risks - he had a few things going on, but as to how effective they would've been, I think it's safe to say that it wouldn't have worked as well as he'd hoped."

Conclusion: "We've answered everything we can for now, thank you all so much for your questions and the love for Dragon Age!"

[source]

[joycrispy]

I'm seeing some confusion out and about over the title A Companion to Owls (generally along the lines of 'what have owls got to do with it???'), so I'd like to offer my interpretation (with a general disclaimer that the Bible and particularly the Old Testament are damn complicated and I'm not able to address every nuance in a fandom tumblr post, okay? Okay):

It's a phrase taken from the Book of Job. Here's the quote in full (King James version):

When I looked for good, then evil came unto me: and when I waited for light, there came darkness. My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me. I went mourning without the sun: I stood up, and I cried in the congregation. I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. --(Job 30:29)

Job is describing the depths of his grief, but also, with that last line, his position in the web of providence.

Throughout the Old Testament, owls are a recurring symbol of spiritual devastation. Deuteronomy 4:17 - Isaiah 34:11 - Psalm 102: 3 - Jeremiah 50: 39...just to name a few (there's more). The general shape of the metaphor is this: owls are solitary, night-stalking creatures, that let out either mournful cries or terrible shrieks, that inhabit the desolate places of the world...and (this is important) they are unclean.

They represent a despair that is to be shunned, not pitied, because their condition is self-inflicted. You defied God (so the owl signifies), and your punishment is...separation. From God, from others, from the world itself. To call and call and never, ever receive an answer.

Your punishment is terrible, tormenting loneliness.

(and that exact phrase, "tormenting loneliness," doesn't come from me...I'm pulling it from actual debate/academia on this exact topic. The owls, and what they are an omen for. Oof.)

To call yourself a 'companion to owls,' then, is to count yourself alongside perhaps the most tragic of the damned --not the ones who defy God out of wickedness or ignorance, and in exile take up diabolical ends readily enough...but the ones who know enough to mourn what they have lost.

So, that's how the title relates to Job: directly. Of course, all that is just context. The titular "companion to owls," in this case, isn't Job at all.

Because this story is about Aziraphale.

The thing is that Job never actually defied God at all, but Aziraphale does, and he does so fully believing that he will fall.

He does so fully believing that he's giving in to a temptation.

He's wrong about that, but still...he's realized something terrifying. Which is that doing God's will and doing what's right are sometimes mutually exclusive. Even more terrifying: it turns out that, given the choice between the two...he chooses what's right.

And he's seemingly the only angel who does. He's seemingly the only angel who can even see what's wrong.

Fallen or not, that's the kind of knowledge that...separates you.

(Whoooo-eeeeee, tormenting loneliness!!!)

Aziraphale is the companion.

...I don't think I need to wax poetic about Aziraphale's loneliness and grappling with devotion --I think we all, like, get it, and other people have likely said it better anyway. So, one last thing before I stop rambling:

Check out Crowley's glasses.

(screenshots from @seedsofwinter)

Crowley is the owl.

Crowley is the goddamn owl.

[thankskenpenders]

Today we got some news regarding a big change for the Ian Flynn's Q&A podcast, the BumbleKast. As outlined in a blog post by Ian, starting in 2025, all Sonic-related questions submitted to the show will first need to be screened by Sega. (I have to assume this is also why Ian announced they'll no longer be doing live Q&As starting next year.)

Frankly, I can't say this is particularly surprising.

While the BumbleKast is ostensibly a podcast about Ian's work as a freelance writer for all sorts of things, and also just a place for him to shoot the shit about stuff he likes, he's still predominantly seen as The Sonic Guy. Sure, he also does a bunch of other freelance work for other series, and original comics like Drogune, and he's also the narrative mastermind for the whole Rivals of Aether franchise these days, but it's his insights into what goes on behind the scenes with Sonic that people really care about. Your average Sonic fan can't just go up to Iizuka or whoever and ask him a question about the current state of the lore, but Ian's inbox is always open.

Because of this, I've thought a lot about the BumbleKast's place in the fandom and The Discourse in recent years. Ian wants to be as open and honest as he can about his work, and I think that's admirable. To me, hearing about creators' struggles and the shit they go through just to get a story out the door tends to make me sympathize with them more. Sometimes a story just doesn't turn out as well as you'd hoped, but you're on a tight deadline and all you can do is move on to the next project. I've even softened a bit on Penders over the years as he's shared more about the absurd situations and odd creative demands made behind the scenes at Archie. Unfortunately, not everyone has that mindset.

Ian's basically always had obsessive haters who were eager to take everything he says out of context to try and stir up shit, but that used to be contained by the niche nature of the Archie comics. Most of the fandom didn't give a shit about what Ian was doing with Sonic and Sally's love life or whatever. Most of the fandom wasn't even reading those comics. But Ian's gone from being a writer for a non-canon spinoff comic, to being the initial lead writer for the first ever canon Sonic comic series, to being the new main writer for the games themselves as part of the official Sonic Lore Team. Way more Sonic fans care about his work now, and when he's so open about his work that makes him an easy scapegoat.

It feels like damn near every week on Twitter Ian's personal trolls have posted yet another BumbleKast clip out of context to rile up the fandom and make it look like he has no idea what he's talking about or like he has some kind of agenda. And, unfortunately, people often fall for this. Of course, it also goes the other way, with people more sympathetic towards Ian taking things he says about Sega and framing them as proof that Sega has no idea what they're doing with the brand. Which, well, let's be real, isn't always the most unreasonable thing to think, given Sonic's rocky history. But I'm surprised it took this long for Sega to start paying more attention to what gets said on the BumbleKast when fans use it so regularly as a source of drama.

I've also often felt that they just need to be WAY more selective about what messages they respond to on the show. Questions Ian can't actually answer due to NDAs, questions that are borderline incomprehensible, "questions" that are really just fan ideas. And the haters, oh, the haters. Ian does not need to put up with angry rants about how he should make SonAmy canon or what the fuck ever. Even if Ian's willing to put up with it, as a listener it can make the show just super unpleasant at times when someone aggressive pops up with an inflammatory question. There have been entire BumbleKast Mini episodes I had to skip because they were just obsessive critics of Ian's paying to grill him on a dozen different things and treat him like an idiot.

But at the same time, I get why the show got to be this way. It's become a part-time job for Ian with multiple new episode a week. Given how piss poor the pay tends to be for freelance writers, I can't really blame him for wanting to keep this secondary stream of income open, and to not have to refund people left and right for rejecting their questions. The man's got bills to pay. (And so does Kyle, for whom managing the BumbleKast seems to have become a full-time job.)

I dunno. The man's got the patience of a fucking saint. I would've quit the franchise if I was in his shoes, with people wishing he would die for shit like minor disagreements over Sonic's characterization or him misremembering an obscure old lore thing. While I do hope that Sega doesn't keep too tight of a leash on him moving forward, and I hope that he's still able to speak his mind about his work, part of me also hopes that having to be much more selective about Sonic questions results in less bullshit like this.

[calder]

In every mainline Fallout game except for New Vegas, players can earn the loyalty of a dog known as “Dogmeat.” As part of the main quest of Fallout 4, Dogmeat assists in tracking down the antagonist, even if the player has never encountered him before. When you leave Kellogg’s home, Nick simply starts talking about Dogmeat as if he’s a known quantity.

Perhaps related to this quirk of the world, Dogmeat is first named in this game when the clairvoyant Mama Murphy recognizes him and addresses him by name. The game’s UI calls him “DOG” until he is recognized by Valentine or Murphy. It seems clear that this german shepherd is somehow an independent agent with a good reputation, or something.

Dogmeat does not have a loyalty quest associated with him, which is how the player would earn the other companions’ perks. However, upon finding Astoundingly Awesome Tales #9 within the Institute, Dogmeat becomes more resistant to damage. While this isn’t coherent or conclusive evidence of Dogmeat being a synth, it’s plainly prompting the audience to consider that idea. In light of these factors, his origins have been fiercely debated among the community.

The skeptics and “hard sci-fi” fans out there would have you believe that he’s merely a famous stray dog who solves crimes. But I believe there's something more remarkable at work.

There's a section in the Fallout 2 instruction book called the Vault Dweller's Memoirs, where the player character of the first game recounts what canonically happened. Due to Fallout’s famously terrible companion AI, if you travelled to Mariposa with Dogmeat, he would consistently run into the force fields and get vaporized. So, in the Memoirs, we learn that this is exactly what became of Dogmeat Prime, in canon. He loyally sprinted into a wall of solid light, and disappeared. What if our buddy simply awoke in a new, confusing place?

In Fallout 2, Dogmeat must be found at the Cafe of Broken Dreams, which is explicitly a liminal space. It appears randomly to travellers in the desert. The NPCs within are frozen in time, such as a young version of President Tandi, who mentions that Ian went to “the Abbey,” an area cut from the game. To gain Dogmeat’s trust, the Chosen One must equip the Vault Dweller’s V-13 jumpsuit, which Dogmeat recognizes as belonging to his dead master. You can also attack him to spawn Mad Max, who claims ownership of the dog. Max fits the description of Dogmeat's original owner given in Fallout.

There’s also the “puppies” perk in Fallout 3, which enables you to restore Dogmeat, in the event of his death. “Dogmeat’s puppy” inherits his base and ref ids. In other words, they ARE the same NPC, just renamed. So, the way this actually articulates is that whenever Dogmeat dies in combat, you can find him waiting for you back at Vault 101. In practice, it’s almost Bombadilian.

Lastly, please consider the following developer context.

In June of 2021, the dog who performed Dogmeat’s motion capture and voice for Fallout 4 passed away. A statue of her was placed outside of every Vault in the China-exclusive sequel to Fallout Shelter. She still watches over each player.

River's owner, developer Joel Burgess, honored her in a brief thread about her involvement in the game, and shared much about his thought process and design goals while leading the character’s development. The Dogmeat project changed course early on, after Mr. Joel saw a new member of the art team gathering references of snarling German Shepherds. This motivated him to bring River into the studio, so the artists and developers could spend time with her.

He wanted to steer the team away from viewing Dogmeat as a weapon, and towards viewing him as a friend. Everything special about Dogmeat was inspired by River. For example, whenever you travel with Dogmeat, he’s constantly running ahead of you to scout for danger, then turning to wait for you. This was inspired by River’s consistent behavior on long walks. The only way they were able to motivate River to bark for recordings was by separating her from Joel while he waited in the next room. Reading the thread, it’s very clear that he hoped Dogmeat would make players feel safe, encouraging them to explore, and to wonder. In his closing thoughts, he said the following:

-Joel Burgess

Mr. Joel felt it was important to express that the ambiguity of Dogmeat’s origin in Fallout 4 was deliberately built into his presentation. He also felt it was important that you know Dogmeat loves you. Dogmeat was designed, on every level, to reflect the audience’s inspirations, and to empower their curiosity.

The true lore of Dogmeat is a rorschach test. The only “right” answer is to pursue whatever captures your imagination.

[unforth]

As I deepen my study with Chinese, the more I'm struck by how word meanings work. The monolingual USAdians I know or encounter online, who studied only as much as needed to get through school, really do seem to think languages are plug and play: know the word in both languages, and swap.

But that couldn't be further from the truth. There's on Chinese word, 稳当 (wĕn dang), that's really struck me for that. Because my flashcards give three translations for 稳当: reliable, secure, and stable. And in English these words are all fairly different! Clearly related but very much do not mean the same thing. How can one Chinese word mean these three different concepts? Well, of course, it doesn't. 稳当 means 稳当, some fusion of those three concepts we have words for in English but not quite any of them, that makes it appropriate to use in places where English would use any of those three. There are surely shades of meaning, and which interpretation of the meaning is most appropriate to a given context will be understood upon reading.

Now, expand this understanding - that a word doesn't mean (exact direct swap in English) but rather the word means the word, and we approximate it to the closest English equivalent we can - to *every single word in every single sentence in an entire book.*

Then translate that book.

Translation is an art, not a science, requiring tremendous verisimilitude in *both* languages, and an understanding of the story, and a deep familiarity with the culture (social, historical, linguistic, etc.) of the original work, and often knowledge of the authors intent (if possible to ascertain), and a range of other skills. Translation will always be interpretive and transformative, because (word in one language) doesn't precisely mean (word in another language). They're not "the same." If I present you a sentence with 稳当 in it, does it mean stable, reliable, or secure? Well that depends. On what? How it's being used, the surrounding context, other factors, and of course... the reader or translators interpretation.

It drives me insane when I see people present alternate translations as some kind of "gotcha" that one translator got things wrong. And don't get me wrong - of course some translations ARE just wrong, obviously if I translate 稳当 to mean "goldfish" I'm not interpreting I'm just incorrect. But beyond obvious mistakes, a world of nuance exists, and different translators can in good faith reach different conclusions on the most appropriate translation. This is WHY famous books not in English get translated repeatedly by different people, and why a reader would want to read multiple translations of the same work - to see, in different translations, some shadow of the wonderful nuance embodied by the original words that do not, and cannot, simply be swapped 1 to 1 for a perfect English translation. And this is *especially* true of a language like Chinese, which is ancient and beautiful and deeply steeped in understandings of Chinese history and literature.

Why do you think I and many others are studying Chinese for years? For me, it's all so I can read the actual books myself and get that much closer to the story, that much closer to my own interpretation. I'll never have the skills of a knowledgeable translator - this isn't my profession, it's my hobby - but I'll gleen things nonetheless and it's important to me to try.

Too many of yall disrespect those skills so much that you'll throw a sentence of a language you know nothing about into Google translate and then declare the translator Wrong (and sometimes Bad and Malicious) based on that.

稳当 means 稳当. It doesn't mean "reliable." It doesn't mean "the exact translation of 稳" plus "the exact translation of 当". It's a Chinese word with a Chinese definition that we retrofit English on to.

And the hardest part? Look, I'm still a Chinese novice. For all I fucking know, 稳当 actually MIGHT have three distinct definitions. Everything I said about it above might be wrong. I don't know enough Chinese yet to know for sure, and that's a level of nuance and understanding I'll only reach by reading more.

Multiply that by *every single word in both the original language and the language it's being translated into.*

That's what translation is.

Good luck.

[cube-cumb3r]

part 2: What's the deal with Manneq- SIMULTANEOUS PARALLEL REALITY THEORY IM CRAZY IM CRAZYIM CRAZY IM CRAZY

This is the second part of me trying to make sense of the Mannequins in ENA. Read pt. 1 here, if you want. Or don't!

I'm not entirely satisfied with the explanation of "Mannequins are spawnpoints" because it doesn't really explain how the Mannequins got there in the first place. How did so many Mannequins coincidentally end up near locations where it just so happens that Ena is likely to respawn?

I pondered a little bit about the role of Mannequins in the Youtube series as well, and if I could tie that into their role in the game. To my knowledge, there's only one episode where the Mannequins make an appearance, and that's Temptation Stairway.

I don't think about Ulysses often. The most I think about him is the fact that the song that plays when Ena talks to him is such a peculiar banger. But, given that he's the first character in the Youtube series to mention Doors before their existence got fully elaborated on in the game, perhaps more of his dialogue isn't just ominous and strange nonsense.

One of his lines is (paraphrased) "But heed this warning: desires are never fulfilled, nor quenched. You will fail. Like the rest of them."

So who is the rest of them? (other than Moony?) Taking the video at face value, the answer seems pretty simple, it's the Mannequins. They can be seen climbing the Great Runas in the beginning of the episode, and then later on her way, Ena walks past some lifeless ones in various places in a similar manner they are found in Dream BBQ, or they're... lamenting? In this strange space?

Other than that, without any further context, there doesn't seem to be that much to say about the Mannequins in Temptation Stairway, they seem to just be Mannequins. They're these sort of anonymous and ambiguous figures that also seem to have the same goal as Ena, reaching the Great Runas. All of which are failing, it seems.

After Ena meets Ulysses, she of course meets the Shephard who says her infamous "Arghh... another ENA troublemaker." line, which has of course been interpreted to mean millions of things. That being said, literally moments after this scene, we see other Enas when Ena enters the holy code. It seems sensible to assume these are the Enas she's talking about. (Because of Species Theory TM, no one ever really asks how they got here, why they look nearly identical to our Ena, and why they're unmoving. But that's besides the point.)

Most importantly for the purpose of this post, for some frames, they glitch into Mannequins.

(I would be remiss if I did not mention that right after this sequence, there's a data matrix on the wall that when decoded says "FORGET YOUR PAST". Make of that what you will.)

We already know there are multiple simultaneous instances of Ena in some manner, given that the Shepherd has met multiple of them. Given where the Shepherd is located and based on her dialogue, it's likely too that the Enas she met were also attempting to reach the Great Runas as well. That's another set of individuals that are attempting to reach this divine being, other than the Mannequins (and Moony).

So, when Ulysses says "You will fail, like the rest of them", maybe he's talking about the lifeless Mannequins that Ena walks past on her way to the Great Runas. Or, maybe he's talking about the other Enas that can be seen in the holy code. Or you know, both.

Or, perhaps, there's no difference between the two.

Time and reality seems to be a bit weird in the world of Ena. When talking to the remnants of the former Genie, she will offer her memories, to show Ena a reality where Ena did succeed. And this "reality" is (presumably) the reality where Ena had successfully reached the Bathroom, and the events play out the same as if you had done so.

This seems to imply that despite the fact that the sequence of events that led to Ena successfully reaching the Bathoom was not something the Ena you're currently playing as ever experienced, given that the Genie describes it as "her memories", from her perspective, it still happened. Both realities seem to co-exist.

What does that have to do with Mannequins? Well,

Here's my crazypants Theory. Rather Mannequins being a "spawnpoint", they're rather sort of... glimpses of other realities or timelines.

This Mannequin is found on the path that Ena was quite literally walking on before she stops, and she nearly gets caught under the falling structure from above. Perhaps in another alternate sequence of events she didn't stop, and kept walking. And that's what that Mannequin is.

Or this Mannequin found on the other side of the bridge, underneath the floating platforms leading up to the Orb. Perhaps in alternate sequence of events, Ena did end up falling while attempting to ascend to the Orb.

In fact, you can even experience this in-game. If you fall while attempting to climb up, you will "teleport" back to various checkpoints at different points of the ascent. So what if it's not "teleportation" that is happening, but rather you are being "transported" to a version of reality where she didn't fall. Whatever you just experienced did not happen to this Ena. But, you can still see evidence of this having happened, in some version of reality, when you look at the tops of these buildings.

(edit 5/5/25:) A new patch came out today which added a new interaction with the file compressor, where you can compress files more and more until they explode, causing Ena to stumble backwards after which you "respawn" in the center of the roundabout again.

Interestingly enough, with this new interaction they also a new lifeless Mannequin, which can be found dismembered exactly where Ena would've been blown up by this zip bomb. Even more interestingly, this dismembered mannequin is already there even before you've interacted with the zip compressor. As if it's already happened. But not to you. (Yet.) (end of edit)

(Now, I am aware that it's an absurd claim to suggest every single Mannequin here is parallel Ena. That might not be plausible. But I think it's sensible to assume at least some of the Mannequins we see across the series and game may be.)

When the broken Genie shows you a different reality, if you talk to Unforgiven Frank next to the ship, he will still recall your earlier interaction, despite the fact that in the reality where you succeeded in reaching the Bathroom, you would've never encountered him in the Lost Village.

So, it seems these are not distinct and separate realities, but somehow both true at once. Similarly to how the realities where Ena fell in a river or a pit, and the realities where she didn't, are both simultaneously true. And similarly how the Shephard has already met Ena, even if this Ena has not met the Shephard.

Does she retain anything across iterations? Does she collectively experience all of them at once, or just one at a time? It seems for the most part, Ena does not have information that she would've obtained in any parallel iteration of herself, because she needs to ask for it, this is the case in both Temptation Stairway and Dream BBQ. But it seems in some cases she does have information from sequences of events she herself has not experienced, like how she can aspire for Frank's forgiveness despite never having met him (though of course, maybe they already met prior to the events of Dream BBQ.) Perhaps it's as the Shaman said, while perhaps she can, if she were experiencing all of them simultaneously, she would be lost in her own mind.

This theory is not rock solid, there's some things that still don't quite make sense. If you're up on the Orb Island after ascending, you can quite literally jump down all the way to the bottom and be fine, so why would another iteration Ena not make it from falling during her climb? Or, if Mannequins are supposed to represent Ena from other versions of reality, wouldn't you expect lifeless Mannequins to be found at, say, the bottom of the rivers and pits, rather than hanging off the edges? Though, since the Mannequin "inside" Ena seems to be able to "emerge" from her body, perhaps that could be the explanation for this conundrum.

With all this said, there seems to be a natural conclusion to this theory. Under the assumption that the Enas we see suspended in the holy code in Temptation Stairway are Enas that "failed" in their task, like the rest of them (like the rest of them) like the rest of them... What does that actually mean for Ena at the end of Dream BBQ?

I'm sure everyone has noticed the shot we see at the end of the game is nearly the exact same as the one in Temptation Stairway. There's other Mannequins as well, also suspended in the holy code. The conclusion of this theory seems therefore to suggest that the Ena we see at the end of Dream BBQ never actually made it out of Uncanny Streets at all. She got stuck behind the Lonely Door. Failed, like the rest of them, alongside the other Mannequins we see floating in that space.

It's a sensible assumption that the hand that reaches out and grabs this Ena-Mannequin is "taking" her and "placing" her back in the body of the Mannequin in the hub. But what if even that isn't true? What if the Ena "emerging" out of the Mannequin in the Hub isn't her "respawning", but rather, she is an entirely different instance of Ena that never left the Hub in the first place? Whatever happened to the Ena in the Lonely Door still happened, but not to this Ena.

Which seems to prompt a question that no other theory would need to ask. Where is that hand taking this other Ena?

[the-crooked-library]

Blurred Lines: Agency and Victimhood in Gothic Horror

Seeing as Robert Eggers' Nosferatu has just breached a cool $135M at the worldwide box office, it might be as good a time to talk about this as any. I believe I echo the sentiments of most diehard fans of gothic horror when I say this: while we are glad to see this masterpiece meet with well-deserved success, these numbers also mean that a significant proportion of its audience has been previously unfamiliar with the hallmarks of our beloved genre; and the resulting disconnect between the viewers and the source material has been the driving force behind the great majority of the online discourse that surrounds it.

The tools and conventions of the gothic, as a genre, are essential to Nosferatu's primary narrative arc. Its central character, Ellen Hutter, cannot be discussed outside of her literary context. Textually, she balances between heroine and damsel in distress - blurred, in many ways, from mainstream understanding.

That is done entirely on purpose. There are numerous reasons for it; I could go into heavy detail about it; and I will - under the cut, of course.

The main thing I must make absolutely clear (before delving any deeper) is that the gothic genre is fundamentally non-literal. It deals heavily in metaphor, allegory, allusion, obfuscation - and, indeed, the blurred lines that have recently caused so much controversy online. This is by design. It is not a flaw of storytelling or interpretation. The gothic affronts the rigid, black-and-white, mainstream forms of morality because that is what it has always been designed to do; and the newer installments like Nosferatu do the same, being built upon those traditional foundations.

The historical background is therefore essential to the understanding of a gothic narrative. In this, the film does provide the viewer with a relatively easy starting point; its period setting amplifies its connection to its predecessors, as well as the societal pressures and systemic violence that it aims to challenge. It allows the audience to perceive the story through a historical lens that comes pre-installed, as a sort of short-cut to the genre's original social context.

The context, in this case, consists of misogyny, queerphobia, xenophobia, and ableism - which, while rampant even in the modern day, were that much more blatant in 1830s German Confederation, where/when the story largely takes place. Every human character, regardless of who they are, is influenced by these oppressive aspects of their society; and Ellen Hutter is hopelessly entrapped within all four.

Her social situation, as we are given to understand, is precarious. Though she was originally born into wealth, she married down to escape her abusive father. She is an eccentric - her "wild" inclinations (such as having a sense of dignity or loving the outdoors as a child) are enough to cause almost vitriolic disapproval; but on top of that, she was born with a psychic gift, which manifests in a way that is not dissimilar from a mental (and sometimes physical) disability. She and her husband are also English immigrants, and thus perpetual outsiders in Wisborg (this is also one of the reasons Thomas is so anxious to prove himself at Knock's firm, and so keen to emulate Harding in all things); and, finally, she implied to experience queer attraction - which, though non-explicit, repressed, and never truly indulged, still affects her and the way she is continuously treated throughout the film.

Overall, Ellen's existence is perceived, at best, as an inconvenience - and at worst, a scandal. With that, she fits seamlessly into her story's genre.

The "immoral," the forbidden, the taboo is a cornerstone of all gothic fiction. It exists in the doubt between light and dark, harm and desire, love and abuse. It is the domain of sympathetic villains (e.g. Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights), of imperfect victims (Bertha Mason, Jane Eyre), of heroes who are deeply flawed, who cause their own tragedies, and often fail to save anyone at all (Victor Frankenstein, Frankenstein). Within the gothic genre, there are no absolutes; and its contradicting balance of dichotomies provides a reference point - or, more accurately, a cultural triangulation - for exploring the same complexities that a binary puritanical mindset strives to eradicate. These include sexual desire, female autonomy, physical and mental disabilities, classism; in short, anything that gets people wincing.

The popular discussion of these topics is frequently cruel, often avoidant, and rarely straightforward or productive. As stated above, it makes people uncomfortable. It's not pleasant. However, for Ellen (and many people in the real world), it is, quite literally, impossible to avoid. It defines every aspect of her daily life.

What this means for her and for the story is that within a narrative that refuses to gloss over the imperfections of her surrounding society, her victimhood is not thrust upon her by a shadowy figure, emerging from the night. Instead, she is a victim - of an ongoing and systemic, rather than individual, abuse.

This aspect of Ellen's characterization lies at the core of her behaviour throughout the film. She is an unstable chimera of Brontë's Jane Eyre and Bertha Mason - in the sense that her actions are informed, in great part, by her acute awareness of her own disenfranchisement. She alternates between anguished raving and phlegmatic practicality, used to her pain but unable to entirely ignore it; and, the same way that Jane sees all the rage she feels (but cannot afford to express) manifested in Bertha, Ellen finds her counterpart in Orlok.

This is where the ambiguity begins.

Even though Orlok is most certainly a gothic villain, his relationship with Ellen cannot be interpreted as strictly adversarial. Naturally, it would be easy to ascribe their dynamic to grooming and PTSD; however, as previously mentioned, a gothic narrative is never surface-level - and the film itself never furnishes any information that would definitively limit it to that.

Firstly, to get the primary discourse point out of the way - yes, when Ellen and Orlok first meet within the ether, she is indeed young; and later, she is said to have been a child. However, at the time, the term "teenager"did not yet exist; Ellen's younger self is not portrayed by a child actress; and later, in 1838, she is referred to as a child multiple times - despite being an adult, married woman. Overall, within the film, the term is more often used to describe innocence and inexperience, rather than age; and her initial age is never specified. Granted, a multi-century age gap is not exactly "healthy" anyway - but this is a vampire story. It is per the course; and it complicates their relationship beyond a simple victim vs abuser narrative.

Secondly - and perhaps, most importantly - the overall impact of Orlok's coercion tactics falls flat in comparison to Ellen's human-world alternatives. Yes, he argues and threatens; but her social circumstances have never allowed her agency in the first place. Her father abuses, isolates, and threatens to institutionalize her; Thomas dismisses her concerns as "childish fantasies"; Harding and Sievers tie her down and drug her; Harding again kicks her out of the house. Her marriage, her friendships, are therefore all transactional; they grant her an escape from her father's house, relative financial stability, social support - on the condition that she represses her true self, pretends to be normal, doesn't threaten anyone's masculinity or heterosexuality, and acts like she's happy to be a deferring, obedient, settled wife. Being a daughter of a landed gentleman, she would never have been given a working woman's education, and evidently has no income of her own; and so, she has no options except to upkeep her end of the bargain - which means that her continued survival within mainstream society relies on constant background coercion.

Compared to this mundane, socially acceptable horror of her existence, the vampire actually offers her more autonomy than she is ever otherwise accorded. The terms of his covenant never threaten Ellen's own well-being; so on one hand, she has benevolence - and on the other, the dignity of choice.

This contrast lies at the heart of her dilemma. Ellen is torn between what she believes she should be and what she knows - and Orlok knows - she is.

One is "correct," moral, Good; the other is "wrong," sinful, Evil. However, at the same time, the first is manufactured; it is artificially designed, and must be continuously enforced. The second is primal. Natural. In accordance with gothic tradition, the appeal of Orlok is that he is forbidden, yet instinctive. By design, he is a reflection of everything that Ellen is forced to repress on a daily basis. That includes her rage, her ostracism, her abnormalities; but also, her desperate need to be respected, understood, and desired. He is both grotesque and alluring, both a lord and a beast, both cruel and reverent.

"He is my melancholy!.." cries Ellen.

"I am Heathcliff!" whispers Cathy.

Still, while Cathy and Heathcliff are primarily divided by class and racism, Orlok and Ellen are separated by moral considerations. In the explicit sense, Ellen cannot choose the Evil that Orlok represents. Within the surface narrative, she is obligated by her society, her morals, and the story to choose Good - in this case, by nobly sacrificing her individual expendable life to save her husband and a city full of people. Her primary storyline, like everything else, has already been decided for her.

For the Trekkies among us, this is Ellen's own Kobayashi Maru. A no-win scenario. As such, within the context of character analysis, her destination does not matter as much as the little things she does along the way; and it is no accident that, as the film progresses, the subtler, seemingly insignificant choices she makes within that framework just happen to bring her closer - and closer - to Orlok.

All of them are just innocuous enough to almost pass. She places a lock of perfumed hair in a locket that she gives to Thomas - and upon his arrival to the Carpathians, the same locket is immediately claimed by Orlok, who recognizes the scent of lilacs. Before making her sacrifice, she puts on her wedding dress and finds a bouquet of the same flowers - which is the sort of effort she didn't have to perform, especially given that he cannot resist her blood regardless. When Orlok arrives, she chooses to undress them both, and leads him to the bed, even though her previous sex scene with Thomas was entirely clothed; and in the morning, she pulls him close and holds him through the sunrise - even though he was already dying, and would not be able to escape. There was no need for her to touch his rotting flesh at that point, much less caress it.

There can be a "moral" explanation for all these actions; but the lack of direct obligation involved in them becomes increasingly blatant over the course of the story, and the doubt festers.

This sort of lingering ambiguity is precisely where gothic horror thrives - and intersects, scandalously, with romance. Gothic horror, much like bodice-ripper novels, noir thrillers, or "dark romance," builds much of its romantic intensity on the dichotomy of shame and desire. Imagine it, if you will, as a loom; warp and weft. It may even be described as literary BDSM - a continuous, mutually-agreed-upon act of roleplay between the author and their audience, and sometimes the characters themselves (though that depends). The point is to create an outlet for female, queer, or disabled sexualities, all of which are still heavily medicalized and restricted, derided, or denied entirely; and within these often intersecting genres, the violent or coercive intensity of the dominant lead (be it a vampire, a mafia don, or simply a more experienced lesbian) provides their repressed, seemingly passive counterpart an excuse to act upon their demonized erotic urges.

Between the page and the mind, everything that normally complicates a romantic or sexual encounter in the real world (subliminal hints, aggression, repressed and involuntary responses) becomes set dressing - serving to place a particular scene or dynamic within its fictional universe. The resulting Watsonian uncertainty is, naturally, part of the appeal. It is what allows the viewer/reader/listener a sincere emotional and sensual immersion; and for Ellen and Orlok, it provides an appropriately dramatic pretext for a night of tender vampire sex.

The discourse around their joining is painfully similar to the same that drifts around online every winter - in regards to the classic holiday hit, Baby it's Cold Outside. The song, written during an era in which extramarital sexuality was heavily restricted, follows a couple brainstorming excuses for the lady to stay the night; this intention was explicitly stated by both members of the original duet; but that hasn't stopped thousands of people from interpreting it as a "rape anthem." It is unsurprising, then, that an element of horror (guilt, shame, repression, coercion) muddles the water even further.

It's oddly apt, considering that the film premiered on Christmas Day.

Granted, I am not denying that there is an abusive aspect to Ellen and Orlok's connection, romantic or otherwise. However, to reduce Ellen to merely his "victim" is extremely inaccurate to her actual portrayal - because, within the framework of the film, her interactions with Orlok are the few in which she is actually able to exercise some form of agency. She never defers to him, their wedding-death hinges on her free will, as coerced as it may appear; and, in a fascinating subversion of a popular vampire trope, she is the one who summons him.

In gothic media, "Come to me!.." is invariably spoken by a vampire (or a vampire derivative like Erik, Leroux's titular Phantom of the Opera); their counterpart follows helplessly, without question; and giving these lines to Ellen is a dramatic deviation from tradition that fundamentally alters the underlying context of their power balance. By maintaining this call-and-response dynamic throughout the story, Eggers asserts that Ellen isn't helpless; and neither is she "in over her head." She is intelligent, powerful, and she has a tangible influence over Orlok, who is her only equal - which is why, ultimately, she is the one deciding where that relationship is headed.

That is not to say that any alternative readings of the film are entirely incorrect. As I have stated above, the abusive/toxic narrative is definitely present, and even essential, in gothic media. On the Doylist level, it is the equivalent of a whip, or a solid pair of cuffs - essentially, a divestment of responsibility; though, to continue the metaphor, not everyone shares the same kink - and those who do might not all enjoy it the same way, so there's definitely significant variation. What I am trying to say, however, is that each story does come with a central conflict; and Ellen Hutter's victimization - much like Jane Eyre's, like Thomasin's (The Witch, 2015) - is systemic.

She is ostracized, disrespected - infantilized if her oppressors are feeling benevolent, demonized when they are inconvenienced - and still expected to always prioritize her husband/friends/community by default, regardless of how she is treated by them. Her surrounding society, morality, religion, culture all insist upon the same; and this is why, despite knowing that she has done nothing wrong by following her nature, she carries an enormous amount of guilt in regards to those "unacceptable" aspects of herself. It is also the same reason why Orlok - the sensual, cruel, utterly devoted monster - is the answer to her lonely call; and the reason why everyone around her is so eager to see her as his victim, rather than a victim of anything they may have perpetrated themselves. Ellen's is a rich complexity, fed upon centuries' worth of gothic tradition, and she cannot be forced into a flat, genre-inappropriate simplification.

Like The Witch, like NBC Hannibal, like Interview With the Vampire before it - Nosferatu (2024) is a story of self-indulgence being so unfamiliar that it feels like a sin; or, like dying.

I, for one, would not deny her that.

[fetusgooseandjuice]

Promise

Pairing(s): Knight!Natasha Romanoff x Princess!Reader

Summary: The first time you patch up an injured Natasha.

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Descriptions of wounds | Terribly written medical talk | Mentions of violence and knives

Authors Note: This is another mini-oneshot to my fic “Soulmates”. I’d recommend reading that one before this for context to be able to grasp the storyline!

Other mini-oneshots: Forever | Perfect | Enamored

(Takes place around 17 years old)

You entered the castle with your mother at your side. You had just finished sitting in on a meeting that your parents had attended with some of neighboring kingdoms.

With you finally becoming of age to understand at least the majority of what they were discussing, your mother and father wanted you to get some first hand experience at helping to make important decisions.

As you talked you rounded the corner to the hallway that held the library where you'd planned to get in some studying, but the words coming out of your mother's mouth had faded to the back of your mind once you saw Yelena rushing towards you.

She looked frantic, but you noticed how she toned it down to a more presentable manner after laying eyes on the Queen beside you.

Your eyebrows furrowed seeing her approach you as though she were on a mission, and your mother had now stopped talking realizing that you were no longer paying attention.

"Hey, Yelena. Is everything okay?" you greeted the blonde.

Yelena looked between the two of you before answering, "Yeah. Yeah, I just needed you for...something...real quick."

Your mother cleared her throat to get your attention, "I'm going to go find your father. Don't forget to look over the information from today, okay honey?"

"Of course." you nodded your head in understanding, "I'll see you later." you said before she excused herself.

You turned back to the blonde with a now more concerned look, "What's going on? What's wrong?" you asked.

She almost struggled to find an answer before responding, "I think it's better for you to just see for yourself..." Yelena trailed off as she grabbed your wrist into her hand and led you through the hallways.

The two of you ended up in front of your bedroom door which confused you even more as she pulled you inside and quickly shut the door behind you, but your heart dropped at the sight in front of you when you turned around.

Natasha was sat on your bed looking as if she'd just been in a fight.

A bad one at that.

Her face was scuffed with dirt, her knuckles were bloodied and bruised, but that wasn't even the worst of it. The worst part was the area on her shoulder that her hand was clutching to stop it from bleeding, but you could see it clearly wasn't doing a very good job.

"I tried to take her to the infirmary, but she wouldn't go. She told me to bring her to you, but one of the maids said that you weren't here so I had to go find you." Yelena explained.

"Oh my god, Nat. What happened?" you asked as you rushed to your girlfriend’s side.

Your eyes zeroed in on the open wound on her shoulder. Her breath hitched when you moved her hand out of the way to get a better look. You muttered an apology before putting her hand back and quickly grabbing a hand towel from your closet.

"You should see the other guys." the redhead chuckled but her smile was replaced with a wince when you moved her hand again to use the towel to apply pressure instead.

Natasha knew you didn't find her joke very funny based on the glare you sent her way.

"She got into a fight with some thieves down at the docks. I told her it wasn't a good idea, but she wouldn't listen and now here we are." Yelena said.

This time it was Natasha's turn to glare at her sister for ratting her out, but Yelena didn't pay any mind to the look she was given.

"Jesus christ," you mumbled. "And you decided you wanted to bleed out on my bed right now instead of in the infirmary with a doctor because?"

The redhead winced again when you shifted to be able to inspect the rest of her body for any other injuries, "I thought you would be able to treat it. Didn't your parents make you take first aid lessons from the doctor a few years ago? You know, for your studies?"

"Yes, but the doctor at the infirmary is a professional." you counteracted. "They would do a much better job than I would at making sure this doesn't get infected."

"Please, Y/n." Natasha said, "I could get in so much trouble if my commander found out I was getting into fights before I even finished my training."

You sighed as you thought for a moment. She's obviously set on not going to the doctor, and you have to do something soon to stop it from getting worse so you really had no choice.

As you stood up from the bed the knights eyes followed you, "Take your top off and keep putting pressure on this." you told her before making your way to your bathroom.

Yelena took this as her cue to leave, "I'm gonna go now. I'll come back to check on you in a bit." she said and Natasha nodded, watching her slip through the door and shut it behind her.

After a little struggle the redhead managed to eventually pull her shirt over her head, leaving her in a tank top.

When you returned a moment later you had a clean towel and a first aid kit in hand. You sat back down next to her and removed the dirty towel to begin cleaning her wound.

It wasn’t as bad as it had looked before when you finally got the bleeding to stop. Either way seeing her like this scared you more than you’d let on.

You worked in silence for a while. The only sounds filling the room being the occasional winces and grunts from Natasha when the pain hurts a little more. Each time you mumbled a quick "sorry" before continuing.

"Are you mad at me?" Natasha spoke into the quiet air.

You didn't answer right away which just worried her even more, but when you did it wasn't the answer she was expecting.

"No," you responded, "I'm not mad at you. You just scared me, I mean what were you even thinking?"

“I don’t know,” the redhead said, “I don’t even know if I was thinking. I just…reacted.”

Natasha watched your concentrated face. Sometimes she couldn't help but just stare at it. At this point she had every detail of it memorized like the back of her hand. Which wasn't very helpful when she was currently being scolded by you.

"Did you even have any of your equipment when you decided to pick a fight with them?" you asked.

The young knight shook her head, "No, but I couldn't just watch it happen. There were four of them and one of them had a knife. I had to do something or else people might’ve gotten hurt.”

“People did get hurt, Natasha. You got hurt.”

Natasha hung her head in defeat at your words. “I know.” she said. “I know and I’m sorry for putting you through this. You shouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of my actions. It’s not fair to you.”

You sighed and put down the supplies you were using so you could finally look at her. She held a guilty expression and it made you feel bad for getting upset with her. Your hand came up to her face in an attempt to wipe away some of the dirt with your thumb and fix her messy hair.

“Nat, I get that you just wanted to do the right thing. That’s one of the things I love most about you.” you spoke softly and she gave you a small smile, “I just worry so much. This could’ve been so much worse than some bruises and a knife wound.”

“I got lucky, I know.” she admitted. “Yelena was right I should’ve listened to her and it was stupid of me not to.”

Your gaze went back and forth between both of her eyes. You could’ve gotten lost in her vibrant green orbs if you didn’t still have to finish patching her up before someone came looking for you.

“Just promise me that you’ll be more careful going forward. I don’t want this to ever happen again because I love you too much to be able to handle it if it did.”

Natasha quickly nodded her head, “I promise, and I love you too.”

You leaned in to connect your lips in a soft kiss, needing a reminder that she was here with you and safe.

The redhead obviously didn’t want you to pull away with the way she chased after your lips when you pulled back. You had to press your hand against her chest in order to keep a distance between the two of you.

“As much as I would love to keep going, I think you might need a few stitches to help that shoulder heal.” you said.

Natasha just groaned. She wasn’t even sure if the dissatisfaction she felt was because she had to go through the pain of getting stitches, or because you broke the kiss. The redhead came to the conclusion that it was because of both.

The noise made you giggle and you began sifting through the first aid kit for a needle and some thread. “I’ve only ever practiced this using fruits, so bear with me. I still think you should’ve gone to the doctor instead.”

She just shrugged her uninjured shoulder, “Why would I when I have my own personal nurse right here. And she’s cute too.” Natasha smirked.

You playfully rolled your eyes at that last comment, “Don’t get too ahead of yourself there. I still have to take a look at those knuckles and clean your face up.”

“What? I thought you liked my face.” she pouted.

“You know I do, but I don’t like the fact that it looks as if someone just dragged you through the dirt.”

Natasha scoffed, “For the record, I won, of course. They were after that bakery you love by the boats. The owner said that my next order would be on the house as a thanks for my help, so I think you should be thanking me.” she spoke proudly.

You just stared at your girlfriend in disbelief. As much as you didn’t understand how she was able to laugh and joke about the situation, you appreciated it because it took your mind off of the bad thoughts that clouded your mind.

It reminded you that your Natasha was still there and you couldn’t be more grateful for her.

“Instead of thinking about that you should be figuring out how you’re going to hide this from your parents when they come back from their trip.”

~ end ~

[communistkenobi]

a very common mistake people make in political/social discourse is applying individualist thinking to some social phenomenon or theory. one of the most common examples is someone responding to the theory of white privilege with “but there are poor white people” or male privilege with “I’m a man but I have no power” etc. and in order to refute that properly you have to essentially get into a philosophy of science debate, to explain that the benefit of a given social theory is its ability to be generalised above the level of the individual, that what is being described is a social process, that human beings occupy various positions within a social space (a family, a neighbourhood, a workplace, a state) that are not individual. To be able to give an account of some social force you necessarily cannot be just talking about the particularities of a single person - if you were, all you would be expressing is an individual opinion about a single person. If you want to rise above the level of ‘mere opinion’ you need to actually provide an account that is general enough to apply to multiple people of varying social situations but systematic enough to be able to differentiate between who you are and are not speaking about. Of course data are lost in this endeavour - probably best summed up by the aphorism “all models are wrong but some are useful” - but the success of a given social theory is its ability to sustain its explanatory power despite these data losses. Like the whole game of generalisation is building a theory to figure out what data points to discard and which to retain. It is no more contradictory to say white privilege is real even though there are poor white people than to say the police are a white supremacist institution even though there are non-white police officers. In fact these seeming contradictions are accounted for in these same social theories - white supremacy has had centuries of policy development at this point, it is a fairly well-tested set of logics that have adapted to a variety of conflicts, problems, and political/economic/social developments (Sylvia Wynter talks about this in the context of the post-slavery US for example). White supremacy is thus resilient to these apparent contradictions (and these contradictions generate further social developments, such as the shifting meanings and locations of whiteness), which is why zooming into the level of the individual is often not helpful in explaining its effects on a social level.

Weber says that I need not know Caesar to understand Caesar - that to talk about Caesar as a historical figure and as a particular location in ancient Roman society is fundamentally different than a description of him as an individual. And nobody actually talks about Caesar as an individual anyway! Even psychological or biographical profiles of him are premised on the fact that Caesar is worthy of this profile as opposed to any other person living in the Roman Republic. The reason we all know his name is that his place in history is extended beyond the individual. A Roman general and leader is fundamentally not an individual, not a private person. The very fact that I can say “Roman General” but not say any person’s name and have people understand what I’m saying is evidence of this. By definition ‘Caesar’ the historical figure is not an individual in any meaningful sense, he has power that is only available through social institutions and formations, and that is why he is known even today. Even the most liberal Great Man Theories of history locate an engine of history within the general position of Great Man (this is a fundamental contradiction within this type of thinking, the generalised Individual). If there can be more than one Great Man in history then he is not an individual, he is occupying a generalisable position in human history that can be calculated, bounded, and studied.

So it’s very frustrating to deal with! It’s an attempt to refute an explanation of a social phenomenon with individual anecdotes, much of which is already accounted for in said explanation. It makes many, many, many discussions about the social and political world endlessly repetitive and uninteresting, because you are always stuck at litigating the most basic, atomic point of reference. And of course that is the point for many people, they aren’t interested in any of this because they are racist and they are misogynistic and so on. It is an extremely effective derailing tactic, but part of the reason why it’s so effective is because individualism is such a pervasive mode of thinking. All of the groundwork is already laid out for people who say white privilege isn’t real because the social and epistemic infrastructure necessary to get other people to buy that argument has already been built for them to make that type of claim. Which is why the people who smirk at the camera when they say shit like this are so pathetic because they behave like they thought of that all by themselves, unaware or (more probably) deliberately ignoring the fact that they live in a society specifically built to facilitate, automate, and celebrate the garbage coming out of their mouth