#Cosmetics Testing services

[ekotestinglabs]

Elevating Cosmetics Safety: EKO Testing Labs’ Cutting-Edge Cosmetics Testing Laboratory

In today's dynamic beauty industry, consumers are increasingly conscious about the safety and quality of the cosmetics they use. With a multitude of products flooding the market, ensuring that cosmetics meet stringent safety standards is paramount for both manufacturers and consumers. Recognizing this need for rigorous testing and assurance, EKO Testing Labs proudly presents its state-of-the-art Cosmetics Testing Laboratory, dedicated to elevating safety standards and ensuring product integrity in the cosmetics industry.

[tamilnadutest]

Is your cosmetic Dermatologically tested?

TNTH offers testing services for skin irritation as per BIS 4011 and provides results in a short time

To contact drop your enquiries to info@tn-th.com

Call us @7550053005/001

#cosmetics#testing#skincare#skincare

[best-testing-lab-saudi]

Why International Cosmetic Brands Choose Testing Labs in Ajman for Product Approval? | +971 554747210

In today’s global beauty market, cosmetic brands are constantly expanding into new territories, and the United Arab Emirates (UAE) is a key destination. With a rapidly growing cosmetics industry, robust regulatory framework, and a consumer base that values both quality and safety, the UAE offers tremendous opportunities for international brands.

However, before cosmetics can be sold in the UAE, they must pass strict product approval and registration processes enforced by authorities such as ESMA (Emirates Authority for Standardization and Metrology) and MOHAP (Ministry of Health and Prevention). This is where a certified Cosmetic Testing Lab becomes essential—and increasingly, international brands are turning to testing labs in Ajman to support this vital step.

In this article, we explore why Ajman has become a go-to destination for international cosmetic companies seeking reliable testing, fast compliance, and successful entry into the UAE market.

The UAE: A Strategic Cosmetics Market

The UAE is a regional hub for the beauty and personal care industry, with a market valued at over $2.7 billion and growing. Consumers in the region demand high-quality, safe, and often Halal-certified cosmetic products. Regulatory authorities in the UAE have established clear guidelines aligned with GCC Standardization Organization (GSO) and UAE.S GSO 1943 for cosmetics, focusing on:

Product safety

Ingredient compliance

Microbiological quality

Accurate labeling

Stability and shelf-life assurance

To meet these requirements, international cosmetic brands must collaborate with locally recognized and accredited testing labs—a niche in which Ajman has emerged as a stronghold.

Why Cosmetic Testing Labs in Ajman Are the Preferred Choice

1. Strategic Location with Growing Infrastructure

Ajman is strategically located within the UAE, close to Dubai and Sharjah, with efficient logistics and accessibility. For international brands shipping samples or setting up regional operations, Ajman offers:

Proximity to major ports and airports

Easy transportation of samples to labs

A growing number of industrial zones and free zones

This infrastructure makes the sample submission and test processing faster, enabling quicker time-to-market.

2. ISO/IEC 17025 Accredited Testing Labs

Most Cosmetic Testing Labs in Ajman are ISO/IEC 17025 accredited, a globally recognized certification that assures:

Valid, accurate, and reproducible test results

Compliance with international testing methods

Credibility with UAE authorities and international partners

International brands trust Ajman labs because the test reports are readily accepted by UAE regulatory bodies, saving them time and cost in repeated testing or documentation.

3. Expertise in UAE and GCC Regulatory Requirements

Ajman labs specialize in cosmetic testing tailored to UAE and GCC regulations. They are well-versed with:

ESMA and MOHAP registration protocols

GSO standards for ingredient restrictions

UAE guidelines for Halal and non-Halal cosmetic certifications

Cosmetic safety assessment procedures

This local regulatory expertise gives international brands a significant advantage in navigating complex approval processes, ensuring that their products are market-ready without delays.

4. Comprehensive Testing Services Under One Roof

Ajman’s testing labs provide end-to-end testing services, which are essential for product approval. These include:

Microbiological Testing: TAMC, TYMC, and pathogen detection (E. coli, P. aeruginosa, S. aureus)

Heavy Metal Analysis: Lead, mercury, arsenic, cadmium

Stability and Shelf-Life Testing: Real-time and accelerated conditions

Preservative Efficacy Testing (PET)

Ingredient Verification and Label Review

pH and Viscosity Testing

Halal Compliance Testing (alcohol, animal derivatives, cross-contamination)

This wide range of services allows international brands to complete all necessary tests in one facility, reducing coordination efforts and accelerating regulatory submissions.

5. Cost-Effective Solutions for Global Brands

Compared to labs in major cities like Dubai or Abu Dhabi, Cosmetic Testing Labs in Ajman often offer more competitive pricing without compromising quality. For international brands operating on tight product launch budgets, this is a compelling reason to choose Ajman.

Services are typically priced in cost-effective bundles and customized packages—especially beneficial for:

New market entrants

Niche or boutique brands

Companies with large portfolios requiring multi-product testing

6. Faster Turnaround Times for Testing and Reporting

Time is critical in the cosmetics industry, especially for seasonal launches and promotional campaigns. Labs in Ajman are known for offering quicker turnaround times than many global alternatives, often delivering:

Microbiological test results in 3–5 days

Stability and PET assessments within defined timelines

Fast-track reporting for urgent submissions

This helps international brands meet launch schedules and avoid supply chain delays.

7. Support with Product Registration and Regulatory Documentation

Beyond testing, many cosmetic testing labs in Ajman offer consulting and documentation support for UAE product registration. This includes:

Preparing Certificates of Analysis (CoA)

Assisting in safety assessment reports

Compiling ingredient declarations and label compliance files

Liaising with local health authorities

Such value-added services are crucial for international brands unfamiliar with local laws, allowing them to confidently navigate the regulatory landscape.

8. Focus on Halal Cosmetics Compliance

With the increasing demand for Halal-certified cosmetics, especially in the Middle East, Ajman labs are equipped to support international brands aiming to enter this segment. They test for:

Presence of alcohol and porcine ingredients

Cross-contamination risks

Verification of Halal-compliant raw materials

Ajman’s cosmetic testing labs often collaborate with Halal certification bodies recognized in the UAE, helping brands align with ESMA’s Halal standards.

Case Study: How a European Skincare Brand Gained UAE Approval via Ajman Lab

A mid-sized skincare brand from France recently entered the UAE market and selected a Cosmetic Testing Lab in Ajman for its regulatory testing. The lab provided:

Full microbiological testing

Stability testing for desert climate conditions

Halal screening for all SKUs

Regulatory consulting for MOHAP approval

The brand successfully registered 18 products within three months and was able to launch ahead of schedule—thanks to the lab’s local insights, cost-effective services, and reliable results.

Conclusion

For international cosmetic brands targeting the UAE and GCC markets, regulatory approval is the first and most critical milestone. Ajman, with its advanced infrastructure, ISO-accredited labs, and regulatory expertise, has quickly become a trusted destination for testing and product compliance.

Whether you're a skincare brand from Europe, a makeup label from Asia, or a haircare innovator from the U.S., choosing a Cosmetic Testing Lab in Ajman can streamline your product approval journey, reduce time to market, and ensure compliance with UAE’s demanding cosmetic safety standards.

[best-testing-lab-uae]

The Role of Cosmetic Testing Labs in Abu Dhabi in Supporting Halal Certification for Cosmetics | +971 554747210

As demand for halal-certified cosmetics continues to rise across the Middle East and beyond, the need for stringent verification processes has never been more important. Consumers today are not only seeking beauty products that are safe and effective, but also compliant with their religious and ethical values. In the United Arab Emirates, particularly in Abu Dhabi, cosmetic testing labs are playing a vital role in supporting the halal certification process for cosmetic and personal care products.

This blog explores how a cosmetic testing lab in Abu Dhabi contributes to halal compliance by verifying ingredient purity, detecting prohibited substances, and aligning with Islamic guidelines—ensuring that products meet both local regulatory and religious standards.

Understanding Halal Certification in Cosmetics

Halal, an Arabic term meaning “permissible,” refers to anything that adheres to Islamic law. In cosmetics, halal certification assures consumers that the products:

Do not contain haram (forbidden) ingredients, such as alcohol or animal derivatives from non-halal sources.

Are manufactured under hygienic conditions that prevent cross-contamination.

Do not involve animal testing, depending on certification authority requirements.

In the UAE, the Emirates Authority for Standardization and Metrology (ESMA) oversees halal certification through its Emirates Halal Accreditation Scheme (EHAS). To receive this certification, companies must provide scientific proof—often from a cosmetic testing lab in Abu Dhabi—that their products are free from non-halal substances and produced according to halal guidelines.

How Cosmetic Testing Labs in Abu Dhabi Support Halal Certification

1. Ingredient Verification and Source Authentication

The first step in halal compliance is confirming that all ingredients used in the cosmetic product are halal-compliant. Cosmetic testing labs conduct:

Source validation – Labs investigate the origin of ingredients such as glycerin, collagen, and stearic acid to ensure they are not derived from pork or non-halal slaughtered animals.

Certificate of analysis (CoA) review – Labs cross-verify supplier documentation with their analytical results to confirm ingredient purity.

This helps cosmetic companies in Abu Dhabi maintain transparency and confidence in their formulations.

2. Detection of Prohibited Substances

Advanced analytical techniques are employed by Abu Dhabi cosmetic testing labs to detect the presence of haram substances such as:

Alcohols – Ethanol and methanol can be tested using Gas Chromatography (GC) to confirm the absence or quantify their concentration.

Pig-derived ingredients – Gelatin, enzymes, and other animal derivatives are tested using methods like Polymerase Chain Reaction (PCR) and Liquid Chromatography-Mass Spectrometry (LC-MS).

Contaminants from non-halal sources – Cross-contamination during production is a major concern; labs test final products to confirm absence of impurities.

These tests provide scientific backing for halal certifiers to confidently approve products.

3. Preservative and Fragrance Analysis

Preservatives and fragrances in cosmetics can sometimes contain hidden animal-derived compounds or alcohol-based solvents. Cosmetic testing labs in Abu Dhabi conduct:

Fragrance composition analysis

Preservative origin tracing

Solvent testing for alcohols

This ensures that every component, even in trace amounts, complies with halal requirements.

Aligning with UAE Halal Standards and Global Guidelines

ESMA and EHAS Compliance

Abu Dhabi’s cosmetic testing labs are well-versed with ESMA’s guidelines for halal cosmetics and provide testing results in accordance with these standards. Their results are accepted by UAE authorities and halal certification bodies as credible evidence of compliance.

International Compatibility

Many cosmetic brands operating in Abu Dhabi also export to Malaysia, Indonesia, and the GCC—countries with strict halal regulations. Cosmetic testing labs in Abu Dhabi ensure compatibility with:

Malaysian JAKIM standards

GSO/GCC Halal standards

Southeast Asian halal cosmetic frameworks

This makes them a strategic partner for companies looking to go global with their halal-certified products.

The Importance of ISO/IEC 17025 Accreditation

Leading cosmetic testing labs in Abu Dhabi are accredited under ISO/IEC 17025, the international standard for testing and calibration laboratories. This accreditation ensures:

Reliable, reproducible test results

Use of validated and internationally recognized methods

Credibility with regulators and certifiers

For halal certification, using an ISO-accredited lab adds credibility to the testing process and helps accelerate approval timelines.

Benefits for Cosmetic Companies Seeking Halal Certification

Partnering with a certified cosmetic testing lab in Abu Dhabi offers several advantages to manufacturers and importers:

1. Faster Halal Certification Process

With ready access to required tests and experienced analysts, labs streamline the documentation and verification process for halal authorities.

2. Regulatory Compliance

Cosmetic testing labs also help ensure products meet other regulatory requirements for safety, labeling, and product registration in the UAE alongside halal compliance.

3. Market Access and Consumer Trust

Halal-certified products enjoy strong demand in the Middle East, Southeast Asia, and among Muslim consumers globally. Reliable lab testing builds consumer confidence and opens new markets.

4. Reduced Risk of Non-Compliance

Failure to comply with halal standards can lead to recalls, reputational damage, and financial losses. Labs help mitigate these risks with accurate and timely testing.

Common Cosmetic Products Requiring Halal Testing

Lipsticks and lip balms (may contain animal-derived waxes or pigments)

Moisturizers and creams (contain emulsifiers or collagen)

Soaps and cleansers (may include alcohol or glycerin)

Perfumes and deodorants (contain ethanol or synthetic fragrances)

Hair care products (may include keratin or protein complexes)

Each of these products must undergo thorough ingredient and microbial testing to ensure full halal compliance.

Conclusion

As halal cosmetics gain popularity in the UAE and around the world, ensuring authentic halal certification is more important than ever. Cosmetic testing labs in Abu Dhabi are at the heart of this process—providing scientific validation, detecting non-compliant substances, and aligning with both religious and regulatory standards.

By leveraging advanced testing technologies and deep regulatory knowledge, these labs empower manufacturers to produce halal-certified products that are trusted by consumers and approved by certifying bodies. Whether you're a local manufacturer or an international brand entering the Middle Eastern market, working with a reputable cosmetic testing lab in Abu Dhabi is your essential step toward safe, compliant, and successful halal-certified cosmetics.

[riya459]

Pharma Testing Labs | Accurate Analysis at Biozed

Biozed offers reliable pharma testing lab services to ensure the safety, quality, and efficacy of pharmaceutical products. Our advanced testing methods cover stability, purity, and compliance with regulatory standards. Trusted by manufacturers and suppliers for accurate results. Visit our lab for expert pharmaceutical testing services.

[keyworthgarages]

[konansock]

Mod Update: Club & Business Activity Expanded - MORE Business update!

Happy Simming, Simmers! After Business and Hobbies released, I tested my mod in the new system and found more opportuny, as well as bugs to be fixed! So here's a major update to the mod.

Bug Fixes:

Various Text and Images were missing from the first version, they're fixed in this new and improved update.

Tend Stall now officially works as intended.

WooHoo Business:

Apparently this is one of the most anticipated feature of WooHoo Addon, but it wasn't working before, now it is.

The present activity WooHoo will still work with restrictions, for Simmers who just want customers to be intimate with their partners and sleep at a hotel.

New activity has been added: WooHoo with Small Business Employees (for customers) and WooHoo with Customers (for employees). You need to pair them up so customers have employees to ask for WooHoo. Don worry, they won't ask for WooHoo from random janitors who was only assigned the task 'Clean'!

They're now fully autonomous, and your small business even earns money from it! Charisma, Fitness and Romance skills affect the payout.

As customers, you can expect to check in your favorite small business for a casual WooHoo, too!

Photo Studio:

I always wanted a way for my Sims to pay some Simoleons and take their photos. You can sort of simulate it with the updated Photography activity.

Employees will Tend Tripod along with Photo Studios now, and taking pictures for customers with tripods now earns them Simoleons. It just does not display on the text. Photography skill and Fine Arts Degree affect the final payout.

As a customer, you can see the employees Tend Tripod. They're just cosmetics and don't actually matter. You just strike a pose with your Pose Player and select Ask for Photoshoot either from a Tripod or the Ticket Kiosk. Selecting the photographer affects your payout.

Self service as a customer now also cost you Simoleons.

Fashion Studio:

The Make-Up Chair and Wardrobe Pedestal is probably the ACTUAL most asked feature in this update. It's HERE!

Your can assign employees the task Tend Make-Up Chair and Tend Wardrobe Pedestal. This is necessary for customers to find a hairdresser/cloth designer.

For NPC Customers, once you choose the activity Be Styled or Be Outfitted, you can just let the Make-Up studio or Clothing studio work in the background, and you'll earn money from it. Fame and Fine Arts Degree affect the final payout.

However, manually Offer Make-Up/Hairstyle/Outfit will earn your Sims more Simoleons. Manually Offer to Update Appearance on Wardrobe Pedestal also earns your Sim money.

If you want to also earn money from Offer to Update Appearance interaction on Make-Up Chair, use this mod by LittleMsSam.

As a customer, you can choose any interaction on the Make-Up Chair and Wardrobe Pedestal, and you'll be styled/outfitted for a fee! Note that only Ask to Update Appearance lead your Sims to CAS and allow you to customize, the other interactions are random.

Tarot Reading:

Life and Death allowed us to open a Tarot business, but not as a customer? This is fixed in the mod.

Front Desk Assistant:

This is so random but some kind Simmer asked for this feature. Requires Get to Work though. While the Front Desk is tended, customers will be automatically welcomed, helping you a tiny bit in customer rating.

Grocery Shopping:

The Get to Work Lice Freezer now works with Small Business! Stock up with snacks, fizzy juice, harvestables and farm products, and watch your business grow into local Sims-mart!

Works with Brazenlouts' Produce stand, too!

As a customer, you can also purchase ingredients stored in the retail fridge.

Occult Training:

Occult Training now earns you money based on your rank and length of mentorship.

Note that Occult Training is very strict on customers, so this might not be a good idea for long-term business.

DOWNLOAD HERE

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Three for One 1

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, cheating, customer service abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: As a customer service associate, you're used to work with a wide variety of characters. Your efforts to go above and beyond draw the attention of a certain set of customers who want more than what's on the shelf.

Character: Andy Barber, Lloyd Hansen, Ransom Drysdale

Note: Right, this was supposed to be a drabble series but it morphed and not I'm fucked.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

It's the most special time of year! Mistletoe, jingle bells, and holiday cheer! Oh, and hot chocolate. Lots of that.

You hide your thermos under the desk and grab the crystal bottle again, giving a test spritz to the air. Your job isn't very complicated. All you do is say hi and chat about the perfume. Your manager says the job is selling but you don't like to see it that way.

You smile at a family of five as they veer towards the toy section. You don't think the six year old would be into an eau de parfum. It's understandable.

While you spend your hours wandering around expensive makeups and scents, you're filled with a certain hint of longing. For what you're paid to push the merchandise, you can't afford any of it yourself. Well, you've never been very materialistic.

You spin around and see a gentlemen approaching, though he doesn't seem to see you. He looks past you, almost through you. You stop in place and put on your best smile, fixing the red band around your head.

"Hello, sir, would you like to try some Gucci?" You offer and spray the nozzle at him.

He skids to a stop and recoils as if he's been slapped. He holds out his arm as he looks down at his coat, little droplets seeping into the fabric. He takes a whiff, his short mustache wiggling under his nose, and he scoffs as he tries to shake off the cologne.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He snips.

"Sorry, sir, I didn't mean to scare you."

"You just go around spray people with that horseshit?"

"Well, sir, with respect, I don't like that sort of language.

"And I don't like being drenched in dog piss," he blusters, "point me to the goddamn trimmers."

"Um, what kind? Nail trimmers? Pet trimmers? Garden trimmers?"

"What the fuck do you think?" He points to his own face.

You hold your smile. There's always that one customer who's having a bad day. Whatever's got him so upset must be worse than dealing with him.

"Personal care," you point to the far corner, "right over there, sir."

"Ugh," he stomps and storms off.

"I hope your day gets better," you call after him, "oh, did you want a store coupon--"

He ignores you as he waves you off over his shoulder. You watch him turn towards men's grooming and you shrug, rocking slightly. You try not to let them get to you. As jolly as you find this time of year, a lot of people don't feel the same.

You shrug off the encounter. You still have a few hours ahead of you and it's starting to bustle with customers. You help a couple find the home wares while keeping the boundary of cosmetics firm. Lucille, the manager, doesn't like you leaving your zone.

You approach a woman looking at the Prada selection and get her checked out with a new fragrance, specially gift-wrapped by yours truly. She leaves happy, a small victory for the day. You celebrate but not too much.

You come around the counter just as you see that man strutting back up. He has an item in his hand and ignores you as he passes. Still you smile at him.

"Annoying," he mutters under his breath.

"Need help finding anything else, sir?" You ask his heels.

He stops and you see the way his spine stiffens. Oh no, you shouldn't have said anything. He slowly turns to face you.

"You can shut up," he marches up to you and grabs the bottle from your hands, "shut." He sprays you in the face, "up." He squirts you several more times before shoving the vial against your chest, "stupid little girl."

You take the bottle, blinking as you use your cuff to wipe the perfume away from your eyes. He continues on his path as you stand dumbfounded, drenched in Gucci cologne. It's hard to breathe through the heavy scent and you can't help but cough.

What a jerk. Just because he's having a bad day, doesn't mean everyone needs to.

Slowly you grow accustomed to the smell of yourself. It’s not too unusual. You go nose blind about halfway through your shift once you spray a few too many samples. You keep your distance from customers, offering them a spritz but trying not to crowd them with the vapors of cologne rippling off of you.

You yawn as the afterwork rush floods in and you make another round, smiling at Sofia as she peeks over at you. She’s with another customer at the counter, ringing them up as she gabs. You spin at the display at the center of the crossway that runs through the beauty department and stagger back before another can run you over.

You apologise to the tall man as he skids to a stop on his soles. You can tell he’s in a hurry by the way he grips his briefcase and squares his jaw. He wears a long dark wool coat as flecks of snow melt into his thick beard.

“Oh, sorry, I er, wasn’t–” He clears his throat, collecting himself, “I… didn’t see you.”

“That’s okay, sir,” you assure him, “would you like to try the new scent?”

You hold up the onyx bottle but don’t spray him. You don’t need another dousing. He looks at the silver letters on the side then at you. The furrow in his brow lightens as his blue eyes swim.

“No thanks, but er, you think you could help me find something?”

“Of course,” you chime and lower the bottle, “are you looking for a gift for someone special?”

He nods, “my mother-in-law is on her way into town, I need a present. Maybe perfume?”

His tone is tinted with frustration as he reaches up to rub the back of his neck. He lets out a long sigh. He’s one of those shoppers; the last minute scrambler. You grasp the vial in one hand and tug at the front of your thick red sweater, you’re starting to get a bit toasty in the crowded store.

“How old is she?” You ask.

“Um,” he clamps his lips together and thinks, “hmmm, probably seventy-something? I’m sorry, I guess I should know that.”

“That’s okay, I… I would suggest some Liz Taylor,” you turn on your heel and wave him after you as you head off, “it’s a classic. Not so much a me scent but the older crowd likes it. Oh, and it’s on special so your wallet won’t hate it, either.”

You stop by the Diamonds display as you face him again. He follows at a pace and stops before the shelf, perusing the gold caps and crystal caps. He considers the rack in deep thought.

“Here,” you set down your bottle on a nearby table of seasonal decorations and take one from the display. You slip out a strip of cardstock and spray it with the sampler, “this one is gardenia. That was her favourite scent. It’s probably the least pungent.”

You offer him the sample and he eyes it. He slowly bends and sniffs the end of the paper. He wiggles his nose. It makes you sneeze too. As much as you’re a fan of the classic actress, her scents are dated.

“Smells like her,” he grumbles under his breath, “sure, I’ll take that.”

“Great,” you declare and trade the sampler for a boxed bottle, then retrieve your disposed Gucci vial, “would you like me to check you out, sir?”

“Is it faster?” 

“I can be fast,” you promise him, “this way.”

You go around the sparkling counters and he meets you across the till. You type in your log in, taking several tries to get your passcode right. The man places his briefcase on the counter,a hand resting on the edge.

“You know a lot about this stuff?” He prompts.

“Yeah, I guess,” you smile as you scan the perfume and tap the special offer on the screen, “kinda part of the job.”

“Hmm” he hums again, in that thoughtful manner. You look at him but he’s not looking at your face, “that’s a nice sweater.”

You look down at the red wool speckled with pearls. It’s new and one of your favourites already. You can’t help a little wiggle of your shoulders, “thanks!”

“Very… cheerful,” he muses as he takes out his wallet, “wish I could say the same of what awaits me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, sir, it’s that time of year, I guess,” you push the debit machine towards him and he taps his credit card, “I’m sure your mother-in-law will love the perfume.” The transaction approves and the receipt prompts, “would you like an email?”

“Nah, that’s fine,” he tucks his credit card away.

“Would you like it gift-wrapped?” You offer, “it’s free?”

He hovers his hand over his briefcase as he considers it. His eyes meet yours and his cheek dimples, “alright, yeah, that’s… that’s perfect. Thank you.”

“No problem,” you beam back at him, “let me just get some tissue paper…”

You murmur to yourself as you grab some gold tissue paper and a white gift bag with a Christmas tree embossed into the side. You carefully line up the small box on the paper and begin your intensive work. You're a master wrapper, you used to work at the wrapping station in the mall.

“What about you?” He asks before the silence can stretch too far, “you seeing family for the holidays? When you’re not working?”

“Um,” you smile as you look up, “I’m just hanging out with my dog. I bought him a bone.”

“A dog,” he nods, “your family live out of town?”

Usually, you ask the questions. It’s easier that way. It deflects the attention from you. It’s why you like the job; you can hear all about others and not have to think about yourself.

“Yeah, something like that,” you slip the wrapped box into the bag and fluff the tissue paper.

“Eh!” The loud exclamation makes you jump as the man merely turns his head, a tic in his jaw. His eyes narrow as another customer approaches, strutting with hands in his jacket pocket as he calls out, “Barber, what the hell?”

Your customer shifts towards the man, heels squeaking on the floor, “Hugh.”

“Don’t Hugh me, asshole,” the other man retorts, “you said you were busy? What’s the matter, you lose too much money last time?”

“Suzette is in town. Family dinner,” the man, Barber, drones dully.

“Ah, ditched for the old crone, I get it.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, wouldn’t you know it, poker night was canceled, something about not enough seats,” the man counters sharply.

“Next week,” the first man growls.

“Hey, you,” the man in the russet coat snaps his fingers in your direction, “you got some of that Acqua di Gio. That dumb girl over there said you’re sold out.”

Your brows pop up and you swallow tightly. He’s another type. The arrogant demander. He doesn’t hear no. He’ll ask everyone the same question in hope of getting a different answer.

“We are out of stock, sir, but I could order it in for you,” you suggest.

“Order in? I can just go on Amazon, thanks for nothing,” he chops his hand at you dismissively.

“Hey,” the other man nudges his chest, “be nice. She’s working.”

“What? I’m here to spend money and they got shit all–”

“It’s December,” the other man reproaches before he turns back to you, “sorry, my friend is a jerk.” He accepts the gift bag as you hold it out, “thank you. You saved me.”

“No problem, but er, I was gonna say,” you turn to the other man, “sir, I have some samples of the Armani. I could give you those while you wait for the order.”

“Samples?” He echoes, “how many?”

“Let me have a look,” you back up and go to the drawer at the back of the checkout.

“I gotta get going, miss,” the first man waves his hand as you peek over your shoulder, “have a happy holiday.”

“You too,” you chirp back and find the last few tubes of Armani. You claim them and prance back to meet the new customer at the counter, “I have five.” You lay out your wares, “if I order in a bottle it’ll be in just before Christmas.”

“Two weeks?” He puffs.

“I’m sorry, sir, that’s the earliest I can do. It’s the last day I can guarantee delivery before Christmas.”

“Talk, talk, talk, order it,” he snaps.

“Right, let me just…” you open the shop and search up the scent. You add it to the cart and proceed. “Alright, got that, did you want it shipped for pick up here or to your address.”

“Here, they can never fucking find my house,” he sniffs.

“Great, so when it arrives, we’ll give you a call. You’ll also get an email to confirm.”

“What’s going on here?” He points at you suddenly. You look down again at your sweater but don’t see anything amiss. You flinch as he reaches to pinch one of the pearls, “what is this?”

“Oh, I… my sweater,” you raise your head, swallowing down the insult. It’s cute!

“Huh, Walmart clearance, huh,” he scoffs, “alright, how much are you robbing me for?”

He reaches into his coat as you hit total. You read out the final amount but he doesn’t pull out a card; he hands you cash. You count the bills, twice over, then give him his change. He looms with impatient huffs.

“Here’s your receipt,” you hand him the strip of paper. “Have a good day, sir.”

“Mmm,” he pokes his tongue into his cheek as he shoves the receipt into his pocket, “actually, while I’m here, I’d like a new sweater. You can help me and I’ll show you what real quality is.”

You almost laugh. Not spitefully, it’s just a bit silly. He’s competing with you, a perfume pusher.

“Well, sir, I can point you towards men’s fashion but I’m not able to leave this department, I’m sorry,” you give a sheepish smile.

“Oh no, good girl wouldn’t want to break the rules,” he rolls his eyes, “goody goody and her precious little smile.” He hooks his thumbs in his pockets, “my shit better be in by Christmas.”

He twists and strides away. You watch him go but not for long as you’re quickly distracted by a customer looking at the Britney Spears collection. Those are easy sellers.

[apomaro-mellow]

Built for Loving 3

Part 2

Complaints went to the phones first. Every bot of every kind came with everything it needed to operate, including a guide that had the number to the IT department. Like any customer service, the ones operating the phone had an entire script to read from, that they eventually memorized. Cindy could do it in her sleep at this point so when the phone rang, she didn’t even look up from her magazine as she answered.

“Brenner Bot Helpline, this is Cindy, how may I help you?”

She was also used to the irritation, the yelling, and even the cursing. The pace of her page flipping didn’t change, even as the customer’s language turned really crude when complaining about their bot’s function.

“Is it fully charged?....Uh-huh, have you tried turning it off and on again?...Uh-huh, are the language settings in English? Alright, well what’s the model number?” She hummed as she typed it into her computer, the product specifications coming up. Ah, a pleasure bot. “And what’s the nature of your problem again?”

Cindy’s bored expression fell and her eyes narrowed as the customer went through it again. “Are you sure?”

----------------------------

There was a cool down period of at least a week before Eddie was allowed to take on a new project as the lead. It was meant to discourage burnout. That meant helping his co-workers with their builds. He had to admit, even though the bot that Fleischer was working on wasn’t his type, he had to commend the guy for figuring out how to make that bust to waist ratio work in the real world.

Eddie whistled as they watched her do a walk test. They hadn’t grafted the skin onto her yet, so she was all metal, but still a beaut to Eddie.

“Talk about a bombshell.”

“Yeah, just wait ‘til she gets some color on her”, Fleischer said, watching the robotic hips move.

“Munson, boss wants to see you”, the intern said, poking their head into the lab space.

That immediately put Eddie on edge. Owens only came on down to inspect bots before they were rolled out. And Eddie had said goodbye to Steve almost two weeks ago. He followed the intern to a different lab space where Owens was waiting.

“I’ll save you the suspense and cut right to it. Something’s off about your robot”, Owens said. He was sitting in a chair by one of the many monitors in the room.

“What?”

“He’s being returned so that we can fix him and get him back out there.”

Normally it was an embarrassment to have your bot returned to the facility. It meant the issue was more than cosmetic. Something was wrong with the build, possibly down to the software and a quick call to customer service wasn’t going to fix the issue.

Eddie never once thought something he’d made would get sent back. His programs and blueprints had always gotten top marks in school. That kind of shame would never fall on him.

Now though…now he didn’t care.

He was going to see his creation again. It didn’t matter what was wrong. Maybe the knumbskulls that boxed him up and put him on a delivery truck jostled him too much, messed with his programming somehow. Either way, Eddie would get to lay eyes on him. He barely had time to react and even think of what the problem might be before a large box was carted in.

“What was the complaint?”, Eddie asked as the workers opened the box and began moving Steve onto the operating table.

Owens stood up and sighed. “He wasn’t following orders.”

Eddie paused mid-step. That shouldn’t happen. Ever. “They had the right language settings?”

“Don’t patronize me like I’m IT, kid. All the settings are as they should be. But when he was powered on, the client gave a request and your bot refused.”

“That’s impossible. I know what I programmed.” Eddie went to Steve’s side and opened up his chest cavity, taking out his prime chip and going over to the computer. “And you’re the one that did the final check. He’s as submissive as can be. There’s nothing he’ll say no to.”

“Apparently there is”, Owens crossed his arms, watching as Eddie pulled out a cord. 

He connected it from the computer to Steve’s ear to get access to his recordings, putting it side by side with his coding to see where the protocols failed. Eddie honestly would have loved to watch the whole thing. But Owens was here, so he figured he should just skip to right before Steve was powered off. 

It happened on his third day of operation. Steve exited sleep mode as he felt the client touch him. The recording came with a timestamp, 11 p.m. The client, a male in his fifties, brought Steve to a room full of other men. One approached Steve and tried to initiate a kiss, but Steve turned his head away. That in itself wasn’t enough cause for alarm. Bots always prioritized their owners. 

“It’s okay, go ahead and let him kiss you”, the client said. It was said encouragingly but to a pleasure bot, that was as good as an order. 

Eddie watched the code run through the protocols. It should have been yeses across the board. But the progression suddenly stopped.

“No.”

“The hell?”

“The fuck you just say, boy?”

He didn’t answer, frozen in space. Eddie had programmed Steve to say yes and obey. There was no path forward if he said no. That was enough cause for the client to make a move though. Steve’s head was still turned away from the other man, so Eddie could only hear the approach.

“Go to the guest room and power down.”

Steve obeyed easily and Eddie watched through his eyes as he left, walked to a bedroom, and situated himself against a wall before powering down. Eddie let out a breath and put his hands behind his head.

“Diagnosis?”, Owens asked.

“It’s probably just a malfunction with owner identification. I can fix it up, no problem.”

“Good. Wouldn’t wanna make a habit out of having your bots returned”, Owens said. “Oh and while you’re at it, he wants an upgrade on the skin. He specified the newest line.”

“Of course he did”, Eddie rolled his eyes. The kind that flushed, bruised, and bled. It was pricier for sure, and it meant you had to get your bot serviced like a car at least once a year, depending on usage. But, hell, if the dude had the money. Eddie just wouldn’t think too hard about how the bruising would come into play. 

Owens went on his way and Eddie called up the intern to put in an order for the new skin as he got to work on the software again. Before that though, he decided to torture himself by watching the log from start to finish. It wasn’t strictly necessary, given that he’d already found the inciting problem. But maybe there was more to it.

Steve seemed to have no problem with what came before, although from what Eddie would see as he fast forwarded through it, things had been vanilla up to that fateful night. But on that third night, he guessed the client was ready for something new. Something that Steve should have been ready and willing to do. Eddie had programmed Steve to say yes. This time, he went the extra mile and put it in his code that he was unable to say no. The skin came the next day and Eddie removed Steve’s old facade and grafted the new flesh on. It looked exactly as the old one, covered in moles and freckles that Eddie had put on himself just like last time. 

Owens performed the check again, but this time with the code on screen so they could watch it go green with each prompt. Owens gave him the stamp of approval again. Eddie signed off again. 

But this time, after Owens left and before the delivery crew came in, Eddie held Steve’s hand and kissed his knuckles. It was still warm from the testing. Then he leaned over and kissed his lips.

“This is really goodbye.”

Because if Owens’ reality check hadn’t been enough, seeing it with his own eyes through the recording did the trick. He might have made Steve, but he wasn’t his to own. He belonged to whoever paid for him. And they were allowed to do whatever they wanted to him. Eddie watched Steve get carted away for a second time, this time feeling numb to it.

It was three months before their paths crossed again.

Part 4

[sunnieray]

Bait

(or)

Your biggest regret just completed a patient intake form.

4.7k words

Pairing: Johnny MacTavish x f!Cybernetics Specialist!Reader, slight mention of ghoap(you'll have to hold a magnifying glass to it i fear)

Tags: non/dub con, dry humping, sci-fi au where advanced bodily augmentations are a thing, post-soap's headshot, AFAB reader, sci-fi terminology

You flip through the patient’s file for the third time, drawing curious stares from the 2 doctors stealing lollipops from the kiddie bowl. The yellowed, flickering lights cast a depressing hue over the main office. The murmur of the tail-end of the mid-day rush recedes from your periphery. What the hell… 

“Something weird about this… John MacTavish?” Startled by the voice too close to your ear, you press the clipboard to your chest and whip around. “Woah. Jumpy. I just wanted to see what was holdin’ you up. Your 2 o’ clock is ready to see you.” You level the new receptionist, the clinic director’s nephew, with a silencing look.

Unaffected or perhaps powered by the ignorance of youth and nepotism, he continues. “Special, then? He’s got some pretty unique Addendums. I didn’t know Mensa made civilian-grade, well, anything.” His voice lightens into a whisper. “Also, he doesn’t seem very… present by the smell of him. It must’ve cost him an arm and a leg just to get the base cerebral." He looks at you with a gossipy smile. You lick your fingers and flip through the papers again. 

His hair’s grown out. Dark locks frame darker lashes and light eyes. You take in his lopsided, toothy smile and recognize it as one that’s surely hurting his cheeks to fake. At least he looks healthy. Your lips twitch up before you internally reprimand yourself. Your focus returns to the conversation at hand. “Mensa took a military contract after Amend bought them out years ago. They used to specialize in cosmetic and somatic addendums. Also, please remember to keep comments on the patients’ financial situations to a minimum. If any of them hear you it could discourage them from seeking the aid they need.” You glower at the receptionist. Your flat tone kills the topic. The other doctors shift uncomfortably in their seats.

“Is Mr. MacTavish still in the waiting room?” You say it as more of a statement than a question.

“Yes.” 

He grunts when you shove the clipboard into him. “There’s plenty of servicing clinics licensed to work with Amend’s subsidiaries. Which I should remind you, we are not. He can find somewhere else easily.” You brush past the stunned man who smells faintly of flowers and head to your office. Your measured steps quicken into an almost jog, lab coat whipping behind you. You burst through your office and quickly lock your door. 

“What the hell. What the hell. What thee hell.” you whisper-scream. You wrack your brain for any logical reason why your (very well kept, thank you very much!) past decided to schedule a walk-in. The only words you two shared were in one-sided cognition tests. He wasn’t even conscious! He’d purposely mislabeled his mods to suit the clinic's requirements. The excuse you gave to pawn him off was flimsy at best. It was an open secret that you’d work on any Amend product for the right price. It’s what keeps the clinic’s lights on. Your frantic eyes catch on the various obsolete models of metal limbs that hang from the ceiling frame. Just do your job. A voice that’s not yours rattles through your head. As much as you hate the one who said it, they’re right. You’ve got to fit a few limbs to their owners before you can afford to take a break. The mechanical equipment needs to be maintenanced. Next, you need to call around for a decommissioned rotator so Mrs. Egwin can bend down again. Then, you’ve gotta organize a queue of people that gets longer and longer as augmentations advance. The wall monitors displaying cybernetic diagrams hum in your ears. Inhaling the lingering scent of metal polish and rubbing alcohol, your mind settles.

 Fuck this job.

-----

You finish the day out anyways. 

Your body aches as you lock down the clinic. You don’t imagine the director would care if you were to take a quick nap on your treatment table. Today involved a lot more energy than usual. Manual fixes and pre-chip models are a lethal combination. You were able to relax a bit when the receptionist told you MacTavish left without a fuss, though. It doesn’t sit well that he’s found his way to you. If your old boss is looking to fuck with your career for a third time you’ll actually kill him.

A familiar rhythmic metallic tapping hits your ears as you near your lightless office. The maintenance program you were running on the equipment must’ve hit a snag! For the second time that day, you find yourself rushing into your office, it’s door falling shut with a soft click. If you were a bit more focused, you might’ve remembered that the program finished perfectly just an hour ago. You might’ve smelt the lingering scent of a perfume you hadn’t worn in ages. You might’ve paid more heed to the nostalgic melody rumbling just low enough to make your hair stand on end. Instead, you see a pod speaker on the floor and the enshadowed form of the man you know everything and nothing about.

Your pulse spikes but you find yourself rooted in place. Instead of running, you manage to evenly say, “Mr. MacTavish.” The humming stops.

“Mrs. MacTavish.” he replies. You see his muscles shift under his black, long-sleeved shirt as he bends to cut the noise. His huge forearms rest on his thighs, the speaker cradled in his rough hands. He levels you with an expectant look. 

Your lips purse together, cheeks heating at the title. “Johnny, then.” you correct yourself. His body shifts up in the chair, coming to attention.

“Doctor.” As your eyes adjust, you can make out that too-wide smile and light eyes dancing with desperation and unadulterated glee. How could you let yourself think that was fake.

“Johnny, I am… gladdened to see that you are in good health.” you think you see him shiver. You continue after a beat. “It is my hope that you’ll accept our earlier reject–”

A sharp sound of amusement cuts you off, making you jump. “You cannae talk like a person when you’re nervous. Just like I thought.” His eyes drag up your body and settle on your warm face.

You take a step back and his face goes hard. “I wouldn’t do tha’.” The pod speaker in his hands starts to feel a lot more menacing.

You raise a hand. “Calm down, Johnny. I’m just getting a seat. You took mine.” Keeping your voice soft, you point to the corner to the right of the door.

“Ah.” He visibly relaxes, an easy smile gracing the sharp angles of his face. “Looks like I cut the cameras for nothin’, then.” At that, you’re officially the second-most scared you’ve been in your life.

You pull the seat over, leaving a reasonable distance between you two. Not reasonable enough, unfortunately. When you sit, his steel-toed boot hooks around the chair leg and slowly drags you closer and closer. The squeaking of aged metal stops as your knees touch the edge of his seat. Toned thighs spread to accommodate the seat’s new spot between his legs. They're long enough to cage you and the chair between them. He moves with a grace you thought you’d never get to see. His breath is slightly unsteady as he studies your face. You lean back, partially at the intensity of his stare but mostly because the flowery scent of the perfume you used to wear is wafting off of him in heavy, saccharine waves.

You clear your throat. “Like I was saying, I’m sure the receptionist told you we specialize in discontinued civilian cybernetics. A military-grade Addendum should be handled at an Amend-partnered practice. They’ll have the proper facilities to avoid any unfortunate accidents or botched jobs. I’m not sure you need me, specifically. I’d be happy to recommend some places I trust.” You suggest, powering through even when his head falls into his hands and he begins to mutter harshly under his breath. “I’m sorry but there’s little I can do beyond that–” 

“Don’ lie to me.”

“I’m not–” Your voice is strained.. 

“I know you are.” His face whips up to look at you and he presses his index into your sternum. “You need to take responsibility for what you did to me.” His voice wavers with exhaustion through clenched teeth. All at once you notice the bags under his eyes and stress rings in his irises. When you’ve seen someone at their worst, any improvement makes them look perfect.

“‘Did to you?’ You mean resurrect you from the dead?” you say with unrestrained derision. “If anyone owes you anything, it’s the men that signed off on the procedure. I don’t even work for them anymore. If I touch one line of code, the security system will brick the entire augmentation. You’d die for good.” Exasperation laces your tone by the end and you place a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t have the tools or the license to take responsibility for anything having to do with Amend or you. I don’t understand why you’ve come after me.” You force the anger to leave your voice.

He stands abruptly, desk chair clattering to the floor. His hand shoves the long hair covering the left side of his head back, the other tearing at the false skin there. The silicone peels back, revealing the unassuming metallic face of the most complex augmentation in the western hemisphere. And you'd be the first to know. 

“Because you’re the one who put this fuckin’ thing in my head!” His booming voice silences any retort. Regret flashes over his visage and he quickly lowers his volume to a whisper. “I can’t sleep, I-I can’t think. Only thing that works is my body, but I’m too exhausted to put it to any good use. Please, I need someone that knows what the hell they’re doing. These doctors– they just play in my head. The first few ‘tweaks’ were fine. They said they were necessary and I believed them. But the more they ‘fixed’ the worse I got. I ended up going back one more time, my old CO took me and spoke to the doctors for me. After that, I was walking on clouds, until I wasn't. The pain came back worse, and the doctor was more interested in how I was feeling than how she could help me. ” He grips your shoulders and sinks to his knees. “I can feel them fucking up your good work. I’ve already gone to everyone I could, you’re the only one that can fix this.”

Your chest goes tight at the misery in his voice but satisfaction blooms with it because he’s right. You’re the only one on this planet that can put him back together. The pride that got you blacklisted is revived with a vengeance. “Ok. I’ll do it.” Your hand delicately brushes his dark strands away to get a closer look. Your thumb presses into the model number, MX - 00. You feel confident enough in your decision. Relief washes over his features and he leans in. You think he’s going for a kiss… 

Until he buries his nose in the crook of your neck and takes a deep whiff. 

Immediately, his weight sinks into you, tension fleeing his muscles. “What are you–” you start before you feel the familiar vibrations of your childhood lullaby. Ohhhh. Now how do I explain this…

“When you hear my voice, how exactly do you feel?” his pulse quickens as you speak.

“Right. I feel right.” he says absently. His lips brush the fluttering vein of your neck. A warmth sparks between your legs. Focus! Do your job!

“Come.” you say, quickly extricating yourself from his hold.” Let's get you on the table.”

-----

 

You adjust him so he lies flat on the treatment table. Your foot presses into a gap in the chair’s platform. A gust of cool air brushes over your feet as a metal rack rises from the temperature-controlled, hidden compartment in the floor. An assortment of sleek tools hang from the bars. It’s a mix of what you were able to sneak from Amend before your termination and a few lucky finds from shiftier channels.  

“I knew you were the lying type.” He chuckles. You shift to hooking him up to the monitors.

“You’ll feel a slight sting.” you say as you fold his ear up to plug the port hidden behind it.

His body jolts, shaking the exam table as you do your best to hold him steady. A fresh layer of sweat gleams in the blue light as his skin pales. When the episode passes his chest heaves.

“You call that shit slight? The fuck happened ‘do no harm’?” he says through gritted teeth.

“I had to send the connection through your natural brain so it wouldn’t trip the firewall.”

“That sounds.. easy to fuck up.”

“It is.” You hope he misses the exhilaration in your voice. “One wrong move and your grey matter would be goo. It’s a good thing I’ve spent hundreds of days learning all about yours, specifically.”

Johnny smiles up at you with a level of fondness you struggle to categorize. It’s strange and a bit foolish in hindsight. In all the time you spent rebuilding his psyche, you didn’t consider that he’d remember you anymore than one would a dream. You try not to think about why you’re glad he did, opting to look at the flashing monitors behind you.

You watch the lines of code run down the screens, most of it’s familiar. There are some irrelevant changes sprinkled throughout. Nothing raises your alarm bells until you reach the section of code that controls the more nebulous parts of the mind. An old anger flashes up your gut. What did they do to your baby? Months of work hacked apart with juvenile precision. It looks more like a group brainstorm than the polished tapestry you left it as. Notes between the various editors, most are names you recognize but there are some you don’t, suggesting an assortment of modifications. “Keep deleting. Find the bare minimum he can function with.” The most recent reads. It’s dated three months ago. Your brows pinch. 

There’s a lot wrong with this. Enough that you’re sure you’ll need a good month to clean it all up. It’ll take even longer when you add in your shifts at the clinic. As ready as you were to help, you’re not sure you can handle being around him that long. Johnny “Soap” MacTavish may be your greatest achievement but he also embodies everything negative that you’ve tried to tamp down. 

“I’ll be able to get you feeling better by the end of the night. After that, I ask that you leave me be.” If they’ve followed the treatment plan you wrote up, he’s overdue for another check-in with Amend. The more delicate work will have to go unfinished. With a build as rare as his, too many changes will alert the next tampering hand of your interference. 

 You right your toppled seat and roll it over to your desk. “I’m sure you know the drill. Just remember to keep answering my questions as best you can.” Your fingers fly as you begin to restore your magnum opus.

“So, I have a vague idea, but I’d like to hear from you how you think you’ve managed this long.” Your mind falls into a familiar space. Hundreds of hours were spent just like this, except he was a husk and you were a promising new face in your field. 

“Don’ think that's a question, pretty.” His voice carries a humor that’s cowed by his earlier pain. 

“Adapt to the implication, Johnny. I worked very hard to make sure you could.” You click your tongue as you come across a particularly egregious function.

“It helps.. when I use the gifts you left me.” At least he can still follow instructions.

“You mean the lullaby and the perfume.” you see him nod the corner of your eye. “Words, Johnny.” 

 He sucks in a harsh breath. “Yeah. At first I only knew that I liked the smell of one of the nurses.” Your typing slows but regains its speed soon after. 

“Is that right...” you’d beaten yourself up for losing the last of your custom scent. It was disgustingly time consuming to make. Seems it wasn’t lost at all.

“She was helping me with physical therapy. Real nice ass, that one.” You hear the teasing smile in his voice. “I spent the night at her’s after I was discharged and snagged the bottle. When I met up with her again it just wasn’t the same.” 

“From there,

“That must’ve taken a while.”

“Wasn’t doing it alone. A friend helped me.” You don’t miss the slight hesitation before he says friend. Deep brown eyes and a hulking form flash in your mind. You can barely imagine that behemoth holding an egg, let alone mixing scent notes. You smile inwardly.

“What about the lullaby?”

“When I woke up, I already knew it. Felt more like myself when I hummed it.” You hear him shift and the heat of his gaze warms the back of your head. “When you do it, though, I feel human again.” Your typing falters as a tingle of shame squirms in your gut. 

-----

By the time you’ve finished, the evening has bled well into the night. You pivoted to less personal questions after the intensity grew too much to bear. Hours of innocuous queries didn’t stop Johnny from bringing the focus right back to your effect on him.

“I’m going to run it with my edits now. Ready for another sting?” you rasp, already losing your voice, eyes glued to the monitor. Your palms have gone clammy and your posture has caved in a way that warrants scolding.

“Whatever happened to ‘do no harm’?” he grumbles before giving you the go-ahead. You initiate the altered program. You’ll have to get him a lollypop. Sitting for hours in stasis is one thing, being fully conscious is another. 

Johnny?” You turn to see his body tensing off the table as it works to accommodate your modifications. The initial jailbreak should’ve been the worst of it but it seems that few things are going to plan today. 

You’re at his side in a flash moving around the platform to see both him and the program’s progress. Veins bulge from his neck and forehead as he releases a strangled exhale. His hand shoots up to rip out the cord connecting him to the equipment and it takes both of your’s latching to his wrist to stop it. 

“If you need something to hold onto, use me! But don’t you dare touch that cord!” At that, his other hand wraps around your back with such force that it sends you both to the tiled floor. You do your best to angle the fall and manage to keep him connected at your hip’s expense. You let out a moan of pain as it bears the brunt of both your impacts.

As Johnny’s body writhes in your arms, you somehow manage to adjust so that he’s cradled to you. Your left arm wraps supportively around his upper back as your bent legs act as a cushion for his lower torso. Your right hand is clamped in his and you swear you feel your bones creak. His left fists the back of your coat, ripping a seam.

Your gaze flicks back to the monitors. Interrupting the run now would cause him more harm. You grimace as you watch the completion meter slowly tick up in percentage. Johnny’s huffs and groans of pain overlay the mechanical hum of the room.

Without thinking, you angle his head into the crook of your neck and begin to sing the full lullaby. Just as you knew it would, his body sags into yours once more, shaking with the remnants of it’s earlier pain. The grip on your hand loosens but doesn’t pull away completely. You shiver as his other palm slides up the line of your spine and rests on the back of your neck, index pressing into the vein.

His eyes remain closed and his breathing is haggard by the time the program completes. His pained expression slowly dissolves as you finish out the song.

“It would seem I’m out of practice.” Your throat aches with overuse. The man snorts at that and then coughs. “If it weren’t for your reaction to the lullaby, the update couldn’t have pushed through without ample damage.”

His eyes peek open. They struggle to regain focus as they land on you.

“You were made to save me.” His quiet words settle on your skin and they feel wrong. He looks at you, again, in that way that makes you nervous of his expectations. 

“No, Johnny, I Pavlov-ed you.” you say flatly, hoping to shake off the feeling. “That tune was one I hummed while I worked on you. I had to sit by your bedside for weeks on end, singing it helped me keep my own company. Your body associates your rise to consciousness with not me, but the consistent elements you could smell and hear. Like that nurse–”

“Don’ care. If I'm a dog, least I’ve got a master that knows what she’s doin.”

A cheeky grin stretches across his face, boyish red starting to beat away the pallor of his cheeks. You groan, the exhale tinged with a mix of relief at his recovery and exasperation at his stubbornness. "I already have a dog, and she doesn’t need a playmate.” You draw back but don’t make it very far.

The hand he’d placed at your nape turns to hot iron as it holds you in place, thick index burning into your rising pulse. His playful eyes darken with heady intensity. A look so striking it sends a violent flinch wracking through your body, settling in your core. Even if you could perfect his mind in one night, he wouldn’t leave you be. He’d keep coming back until you forgot what it was like to be without him. “Then make me your man. I can take care of ya. You’d never want for anything.” his voice goes lower and lower until it settles at a panting rumble  “I’d make you so happy.”

Your arms wobble, unsettled by the sudden change in him. “Johnny, you’ve done very well, today. Why don’t you–” He uses your lapse to slam your lips together, your teeth clack painfully against his mouth. His grip on your nape turns bruising as he switches your positions, flipping you both around until his arms could lock your body to his. One secures your arms to your sides while the other slinks around your head to press a rough finger into your mouth, pushing it open. You clamp down hoping to break more than skin, your teeth meet the unforgiving sting of metal instead. They grind painfully and uselessly against his synthetic thumb. He coos into your lips when you let out a pathetic whimper, forcing it deeper until saliva pools and spills from the side of your mouth. He chuckles running tongue along your clips, catching any spit, before unceremoniously shoving it back down your throat. Your thighs squeeze together as your tongues marry, wet and embarrassingly loud. Flashes of hot and cold surge though your core and make you squirm. Your vision blurs as he sucks and nips at your swollen lips. 

Above you, Soap grunts and shifts his hips. You find yourself moaning absently at the feel of his hard length through both your jeans’. You’re nearly consumed by him. The feel of his tongue fucking your mouth removes all your needs save for the most carnal. Then adjusts himself so he’s slotted between the curves of your ass. That first hard grind against you tears a highpitched mewl from you that mingles with the string of needy, wanton pleas falling from his mouth. His hips start to rut into your backside, the force of them knocks you out of your kiss fueled stupor. Your hips shoot off his lap, running from the sudden, direct assault on your overly sensitive clit. A long whine morphs into a frustrated growl as he chases the exquisite heat of your clothed cunt. All the air runs from your lungs as he shifts his full weight onto your back, trapping your ass between his pelvis and the hard floor. He finally breaks the kiss, removing his fingers from your mouth. Not that it matters. You can’t formulate a sentence let alone a word. The pressure on your body lightens as he braces on his knees. His hands travel up your sides possessively, tracing the backs of your arms, then your hands, and finally lacing their fingers with yours. 

“Don’ run, pretty. Don’ run from me.” He says in a whimpering tone, it’s the only warning you get before he resumes rolling his hips into you. His cock catches at a point that makes you gasp, causing him to focus his efforts as his hips pick up their frenzied pace. His sweat-slicked forehead nuzzles into the crook of your neck, stubbleed chin dragging over your skin. You feel the heat of his panting breath hit your ear. The force of each thrust pushes you into the ground and leaves you aching for more. More friction. More of him. You let out a frustrated and defeated noise. You barely recognize your own voice. Fuck it. You find yourself pushing into him before you can think better of it. The sensation of relief floods your body as you move in tandem with him. The groans that spill from his lips are threaded with pure joy and exhilaration at the small victory. Your slick has surely coated the outside of your jeans. The pressure in your gut builds as breathlessness overtakes you. Tears well in your eyes, pleasure reaching a fever pitch. They squeeze shut as bliss washes over you in waves. Your stock-still body carried through the feeling by Johnny’s uncompromising pace. When the pleasure turns to overstimulation you whimper and hazard a hazy glance at Johnny. At some point, he must’ve moved back to watch you lose your mind and any semblance of restraint along with it. Lust-darkened eyes immediately burn onto yours. And the fucker cums with your name on his lips. 

As you come down from your high, a cool wave spears through your veins. All the feelings that lust fogged sink into your bones with grim reality. The sting of bruises forming on your arms, hips, hands, and the base of your neck. The uncomfortable chafe of wet denim against the soft skin of your inner thighs. And most pressingly, embarrassingly, humiliatingly, the unerring pulse of dissatisfaction. A craving for everything he had coupled with the understanding that he’d give you exactly that. 

Without question. 

He smiles and runs his tongue across his teeth. 

“Johnny,” You say, voice hoarse but steady. His eyes flutter at the sound of his name. “You’ve done very well, today.”

He blinks. “Ah well,” His hands release yours and move to your waistband. “I do try my best.” 

Your hands clench into fists. “Take a rest.” You say through your teeth, anger spiking. His eyes sag with exhaustion. 

“...what’s…goin’...?” is all he manages before his body tips to the side and hits the floor, fast asleep. At least he had the decency not to land on you. You push up to a seated position and crawl over to the treatment table, leaning into it. The cool feeling of the metal on your forehead helps settle your thoughts. After a few steadying breaths you look over at the crumpled form of John MacTavish, resisting the urge to kick him in the ribs for sleeping so soundly. 

The clinic will open again in a few hours and the warm embrace of sleep won’t find you until you can deal with him. It was a hunch, but it looks like he still follows your commands like he did when he was in stasis. You run a hand down your face and wince at the blooming bruise on your cheekbone. The director’ll be mad at you for calling out on such short notice but you’ll have to risk it. As you close your eyes and try to decipher your next move, a familiar thought crosses your mind.

Fuck this job.

[agentrouka-blog]

Hey there, Rouka!

I have a question about the criticism of Daenerys’s treatment of her army:

Why is Daenerys criticized for how she treats her soldiers and accused of enslaving them when Westerosi feudal lords compel their people to fight without pay or choice? Dany’s soldiers have the freedom to follow her willingly and receive compensation along with necessities. But Westerosi soldiers are bound by duty, facing the loss of land, status, or even their lives if they refuse. Given that feudal lords view paid sellswords as dishonorable, how is Dany’s treatment of her soldiers worse than the enforced military service that is standard in Westeros? 😅

I wasn't aware that there was a big trend criticizing Dany's specific treatment of her armies? Or placing it into negative contrast to feudalism in Westeros? Are you referencing anything specific there? Because I doubt it's a post of mine, in that case. Sounds like a bit of a strawman.

I know that there's plenty of criticism of Dany's rampant hypocrisy with regard to slavery, though. Including her failure and lack of interest in actually liberating the Unsullied from their conditioning as obedient soldiers. It is what she "bought" them for, and it is what she uses to get out of paying for them. Their lives remain essentially the same as if she had bought them, with cosmetic changes about how they get to name themselves and more polite treatment. Are they free to leave, though? I mean, truly? Did she ever offer? The expectation on them is that they will loyally serve her and so far they haven't tested the boundaries of their freedom much. They have not been encouraged to. Because their freedom is not what concerns Dany. Their reliable use as soldiers is. "My Unsullied" she often calls them. Always separate from the "freedmen". Because what does she have if they choose to be truly free?

So, the criticism isn't about whether she's a kinder warlord than a Westerosi feudal lord. It's about her claim to righteousness and her self-perception as a liberator and opponent of slavery. And the fandom's refusal to acknowledge heir failures on that front.

[mariacallous]

Last month, the Trump administration placed a $1 spending limit on most government-issued credit cards that federal employees use to cover travel and work expenses. The impacts are already widely felt.

At the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, scientists aren’t able to order equipment used to repair ships and radars. At the Food and Drug Administration, laboratories are experiencing delays in ordering basic supplies. At the National Park Service, employees are canceling trips to oversee crucial maintenance work. And at the Department of Agriculture and the Federal Aviation Administration, employees worry that mission-critical projects could be stalled. In many cases, employees are already unable to carry out the basic functions of their job.

“The longer this disruption lasts, the more the system will break,” says a USDA official who was granted anonymity because they aren’t authorized to speak to the media about the looming crisis.

A researcher at the National Institutes of Health who tests new vaccines and treatments in rodents says he has had to put experiments on hold; his lab is not able to get certain necessary materials, such as antibodies, which are needed to assess immune response. “We have animals here that are aging that will pretty soon be too old to work with,” says the researcher, who requested anonymity as they aren’t authorized to speak publicly about the agency. Young mice and rats that are 6 to 8 weeks old are typically used for drug and vaccine studies, but some of the animals in their lab have now aged out of that window and may have to be euthanized.

They say NIH workers have been using internal listservs to ask for reagents and lab equipment from other buildings or institutions to try to compensate for shortages, but they’re not always able to track down what they need. The NIH is made up of 27 institutes and centers, and its Bethesda, Maryland, campus is spread across more than 75 buildings. “Sometimes you need something that's really niche, and you're just not going to find it from someone else on campus,” they say.

The change comes as Elon Musk’s so-called Department of Government Efficiency continues to hunt for alleged examples of waste across the federal government. Late last month, DOGE announced that it was working to “simplify” the government’s largest credit card program, which issues GSA SmartPay travel and purchase cards for federal employees. Last Wednesday, the agency claimed 24,000 cards had been deactivated.

The credit card program allows federal workers to bypass the typical procurement process required to buy goods and services. A 2002 report from the Department of Commerce said that, “by avoiding the formal procurement process, GSA estimates the annual savings to be $1.2 billion.” It also enables federal employees to avoid paying sales tax on expenses that the government is exempt from.

At the FDA, labs that analyze samples to ensure that food, drugs, medical devices, and cosmetics are safe and meet regulatory standards are already facing shortages. "While we are always acutely aware of when Congress’ funding is going to run out, we are able to order supplies to keep things going in the lab. This abrupt ending felt like the rug was being pulled out from under us," says an employee at the FDA who requested anonymity because they aren't authorized to speak with the media.

The employee recently placed an order for pipette tips, an essential laboratory supply, but found that order was put on hold. "Now we are running out, asking colleagues at other offices to share what they might not be using,” they told WIRED.

In addition, workers say FDA labs now have to go through a lengthy process to order liquid nitrogen, which is used to keep ultra-cold freezers running. These freezers preserve samples of cells and other biological material that reflect years, and sometimes decades, of research. Delays in getting liquid nitrogen tanks could destroy that material. Previously, new tanks could usually be acquired the same day as putting in a request. Now, it takes a week or so to receive a tank after initiating a request.

An employee at the Environmental Protection Agency says her facility is not able to place regular orders of liquid nitrogen at the moment. “We have dozens of these freezers full of important environmental samples that are imminently at risk of being lost because we can no longer get our regular shipments of liquid nitrogen,” says the employee, who requested anonymity. These samples are used as part of research on detection and remediation methods for chemicals such as PFAS, which are found in many products and break down very slowly over time.

“Scientists are being forced to jerry-rig the connection points on these freezers to accept pressures of liquid nitrogen they were not designed to handle,” the employee says. “Divisions are resorting to bartering with each other to obtain needed items.”

The FDA and EPA did not immediately respond to a request for comment from WIRED.

The credit card freeze also means that federal researchers who were working on scientific manuscripts can’t pay journal fees, meaning they can’t submit their work to certain journals for publication.

An employee at a federal forensics lab told WIRED that spending limits mean the lab is no longer able to pay to ship evidence back to agents, effectively halting its ability to do casework. Before a case goes to trial, defendants have the right to access and review evidence that the prosecution intends to use against them, which includes access to the evidence in their case. Defendants are able to send that evidence to an outside lab for analysis if they choose. “Cases can’t progress until we return the evidence,” says the forensics lab worker, who asked to remain anonymous. “I basically can’t do my job right now.”

NIH employees were told that travel cards could not be used at all for 30 days, forcing scientists to cancel plans to attend a major infectious disease conference next week. USDA employees at the Pest Identification Technology Laboratory have stockpiled reagents used for molecular tests in advance of the spending limits, according to the USDA official.

FAA employees who travel to work on and test aviation systems worry the credit card freeze will prevent them from completing their projects. “We are allowed to use our personal cards in emergencies but none of us trust them to pay us back now,” says one employee.

The impacts have hit the National Park Service as well. One employee was poised to go on a trip to oversee road maintenance at a national monument when the change went into effect on February 20. “Unless I want to pay for it myself, I can’t go. I can’t pay for my hotel, my rental car, fuel for the car. Now I can’t carry out the mission,” the employee says. “Today, instead of focusing on other work, I’m focused on three different contingencies on how to handle this. Do I go? Do I call my engineering team and tell them to reschedule? And if so, when? The project is on an indefinite hold.”

A memo written to staff at the National Park Service specified that “all travel that is NOT related to national security, public safety, or immigration enforcement should be canceled if it begins on Wednesday, February 26, through the end of March 2025.” A long-term decision on the travel policy, it said, will come “at a later date.” Some NPS staffers were able to travel in February despite not getting official clearance. They have now been told no travel will be allowed in March. To date, roughly 75 trips have been canceled or rescheduled, according to a source familiar with the situation.

The National Park Service did not respond to a request for comment from WIRED.

Some government employees say they were given a warning prior to the change being announced on February 20. “We went out and bought cases and cases of toilet paper the night before,” another current employee at the National Park Service says. “There’s a general acknowledgement that things are going to break.”

That employee works in the Pacific West Region, which manages federal land in California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, and Nevada, as well as parks in Arizona, Montana, Guam, and American Samoa. While the GSA did allow for the possibility of exceptions to the clamp-down, the employee claims there are only four purchase cards with spending limits above $1 available for the entire region.

Some of these parks pay for services like internet and wireless on purchase cards—leaving staffers wondering if their work devices could soon be cut off. “Before someone can fix a bathroom a work order has to be issued,” the current employee explains. “That happens electronically. Like any business, we rely on email, Teams, and chat to get things done.”

The spending limits reflect Musk’s belief in zero-based budgeting. After he purchased Twitter, he slashed the budget to zero and forced employees to justify every expense. He also froze people’s corporate credit cards.

“With the Twitter pausing of payments, at some point we were in a meeting at 1 am on a Saturday, and it was like, ‘Hey, let's turn the credit cards off to see what bounces, and what happens,’" explained angel investor Jason Calacanis on the All In podcast in February. (Calacanis was part of Musk’s transition team at Twitter.) “And of course, we started getting calls ... The people who come first, they're probably the ones who are in on the biggest grift.”

Employees see it a different way. “There are so many controls in place to make sure fraud doesn’t happen,” alleges the current NPS staffer. “I honestly believe the only fraud occurring is being committed by Musk, [Russell] Vought, and [Donald] Trump.”

[theglowsociety]

Why More Black Women Should Start Black-Owned Businesses (Especially in the Beauty Industry) & How to Begin Your Side Hustle

Black women are the fastest-growing group of entrepreneurs in the U.S., yet they continue to face systemic barriers that make business ownership more challenging. Despite having limitless creativity, an unmatched work ethic, and a deep influence on global culture—especially in beauty—many Black women struggle to secure funding, resources, and opportunities to thrive as business owners.

If you’ve been dreaming of starting your own beauty brand, salon, or cosmetics line, there has never been a better time to turn that passion into a business. Here’s why Black women must step into entrepreneurship—especially in the beauty industry—and how to start your own side hustle today.

1. We Set the Trends—Now It’s Time to Profit from Them

From hairstyles to skincare techniques, makeup trends to nail art, Black women have shaped the beauty industry for centuries. Yet, major brands have historically ignored our needs while profiting off our culture. Instead of letting corporations capitalize on our creativity, we should be owning, producing, and profiting from the trends we create.

2. Representation Matters in Beauty

For too long, Black women have been an afterthought in the beauty industry. Shade ranges were too limited, haircare products were full of harmful ingredients, and industry leadership was overwhelmingly non-Black. When Black women start their own beauty businesses, they create products that genuinely cater to our unique needs—made by us, for us.

3. Building Generational Wealth & Financial Freedom

Starting a business isn’t just about making money—it’s about creating long-term financial freedom. Entrepreneurship allows Black women to break free from traditional workplace barriers (like wage gaps and lack of career advancement) and build generational wealth that can be passed down to future generations.

4. Owning Your Creativity & Power

Working for someone else can limit how much creative freedom you have. As a business owner, you make the rules. You decide what products to create, how to market them, and how to shape your brand identity. No more waiting for corporate approval—you are the CEO.

5. The Beauty Industry Is Booming (and There’s Room for You!)

The beauty industry is a multi-billion dollar business, and Black consumers spend nine times more on beauty products than any other demographic. Yet, Black-owned beauty brands still make up only a small fraction of the market. This means there is plenty of opportunity for new entrepreneurs to step in and claim their space.

How to Start Your Own Side Hustle & Step Into Entrepreneurship

Not sure where to begin? Here’s how to start building your Black-owned beauty business—whether it’s a full-time venture or a side hustle you grow over time.

1. Find Your Passion & Niche

Ask yourself: What excites you most about the beauty industry? Do you love makeup, skincare, haircare, nails, or holistic beauty? Choose a niche that aligns with your passion and expertise.

Examples of Beauty Business Ideas:

• Haircare line (natural hair products, wigs, or extensions)

• Skincare brand (body butters, serums, or organic skincare)

• Cosmetics line (lip gloss, foundation, or lashes)

• Nail business (press-on nails, custom nail polish)

• Beauty services (makeup artist, esthetician, braider, or loctician)

2. Research & Learn the Industry

Before launching, take time to research the market. Look at your competitors, pricing, and target audience. Follow beauty industry trends and study successful Black beauty entrepreneurs for inspiration.

3. Start Small (You Don’t Need a Huge Budget!)

You don’t need thousands of dollars to start. Begin with a small, high-quality product or service, test it with friends and family, and grow from there.

Low-Cost Ways to Start:

• Private label products (buying wholesale and branding them as your own)

• Handmade products (lip gloss, body butters, or hair oils)

• Drop shipping (selling beauty products without managing inventory)

• Offering services (braiding, lash extensions, or makeup artistry)

4. Create Your Brand Identity

Your brand is more than just a name—it’s your vibe, mission, and story. Pick a business name, logo, and aesthetic that speaks to your audience.

Quick Branding Tips:

• Choose a name that’s easy to remember and spell

• Create a color scheme and aesthetic for your brand

• Use social media (Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest are huge for beauty brands)

• Share your story—customers connect with authenticity!

5. Build an Online Presence & Market Your Business

Social media is everything in the beauty industry. Create an Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube account to showcase your products or services. Offer tutorials, behind-the-scenes content, and customer testimonials to build trust.

Marketing Ideas:

• Post beauty tutorials using your products

• Collaborate with beauty influencers or micro-influencers

• Offer discounts or giveaways to attract customers

• Start a website or Etsy shop to sell online

6. Stay Consistent & Keep Learning

Entrepreneurship is a journey. Not every day will be easy, but consistency is key. Keep learning, adapting, and refining your business as you grow. Join Black business networking groups, attend beauty expos, and seek mentorship from successful entrepreneurs.

It’s Time to Claim Your Spot in the Beauty Industry

The world needs more Black women-owned businesses, especially in the beauty space. If you have a passion for hair, skin, makeup, or wellness, this is your sign to step into entrepreneurship. Your ancestors paved the way for you to create, own, and build something that lasts for generations.

Start small, dream big, and remember—you were born to shine. Let’s turn our passion into profit and make our mark on the beauty industry. It’s time to secure the bag and the legacy.

[femenaces]

I may or may not be one of the anonymous sources in this article

Edit, the text of the article for those who can’t view it (under the cut):

Last month, the Trump administration placed a $1 spending limit on most government-issued credit cards that federal employees use to cover travel and work expenses. The impacts are already widely felt.

At the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, scientists aren’t able to order equipment used to repair ships and radars. At the Food and Drug Administration, laboratories are experiencing delays in ordering basic supplies. At the National Park Service, employees are canceling trips to oversee crucial maintenance work. And at the Department of Agriculture and the Federal Aviation Administration, employees worry that mission-critical projects could be stalled. In many cases, employees are already unable to carry out the basic functions of their job.

“The longer this disruption lasts, the more the system will break,” says a USDA official who was granted anonymity because they aren’t authorized to speak to the media about the looming crisis.

A researcher at the National Institutes of Health who tests new vaccines and treatments in rodents says he has had to put experiments on hold; his lab is not able to get certain necessary materials, such as antibodies, which are needed to assess immune response. “We have animals here that are aging that will pretty soon be too old to work with,” says the researcher, who requested anonymity as they aren’t authorized to speak publicly about the agency. Young mice and rats that are 6 to 8 weeks old are typically used for drug and vaccine studies, but some of the animals in their lab have now aged out of that window and may have to be euthanized.

They say NIH workers have been using internal listservs to ask for reagents and lab equipment from other buildings or institutions to try to compensate for shortages, but they’re not always able to track down what they need. The NIH is made up of 27 institutes and centers, and its Bethesda, Maryland, campus is spread across more than 75 buildings. “Sometimes you need something that's really niche, and you're just not going to find it from someone else on campus,” they say.

The change comes as Elon Musk’s so-called Department of Government Efficiency continues to hunt for alleged examples of waste across the federal government. Late last month, DOGE announced that it was working to “simplify” the government’s largest credit card program, which issues GSA SmartPay travel and purchase cards for federal employees. Last Wednesday, the agency claimed 24,000 cards had been deactivated.

The credit card program allows federal workers to bypass the typical procurement process required to buy goods and services. A 2002 report from the Department of Commerce said that, “by avoiding the formal procurement process, GSA estimates the annual savings to be $1.2 billion.” It also enables federal employees to avoid paying sales tax on expenses that the government is exempt from.

At the FDA, labs that analyze samples to ensure that food, drugs, medical devices, and cosmetics are safe and meet regulatory standards are already facing shortages. "While we are always acutely aware of when Congress’ funding is going to run out, we are able to order supplies to keep things going in the lab. This abrupt ending felt like the rug was being pulled out from under us," says an employee at the FDA who requested anonymity because they aren't authorized to speak with the media.

The employee recently placed an order for pipette tips, an essential laboratory supply, but found that order was put on hold. "Now we are running out, asking colleagues at other offices to share what they might not be using,” they told WIRED.

In addition, workers say FDA labs now have to go through a lengthy process to order liquid nitrogen, which is used to keep ultra-cold freezers running. These freezers preserve samples of cells and other biological material that reflect years, and sometimes decades, of research. Delays in getting liquid nitrogen tanks could destroy that material. Previously, new tanks could usually be acquired the same day as putting in a request. Now, it takes a week or so to receive a tank after initiating a request.

An employee at the Environmental Protection Agency says her facility is not able to place regular orders of liquid nitrogen at the moment. “We have dozens of these freezers full of important environmental samples that are imminently at risk of being lost because we can no longer get our regular shipments of liquid nitrogen,” says the employee, who requested anonymity. These samples are used as part of research on detection and remediation methods for chemicals such as PFAS, which are found in many products and break down very slowly over time.

“Scientists are being forced to jerry-rig the connection points on these freezers to accept pressures of liquid nitrogen they were not designed to handle,” the employee says. “Divisions are resorting to bartering with each other to obtain needed items.”

The FDA and EPA did not immediately respond to a request for comment from WIRED.

The credit card freeze also means that federal researchers who were working on scientific manuscripts can’t pay journal fees, meaning they can’t submit their work to certain journals for publication.

An employee at a federal forensics lab told WIRED that spending limits mean the lab is no longer able to pay to ship evidence back to agents, effectively halting its ability to do casework. Before a case goes to trial, defendants have the right to access and review evidence that the prosecution intends to use against them, which includes access to the evidence in their case. Defendants are able to send that evidence to an outside lab for analysis if they choose. “Cases can’t progress until we return the evidence,” says the forensics lab worker, who asked to remain anonymous. “I basically can’t do my job right now.”

NIH employees were told that travel cards could not be used at all for 30 days, forcing scientists to cancel plans to attend a major infectious disease conference next week. USDA employees at the Pest Identification Technology Laboratory have stockpiled reagents used for molecular tests in advance of the spending limits, according to the USDA official.

FAA employees who travel to work on and test aviation systems worry the credit card freeze will prevent them from completing their projects. “We are allowed to use our personal cards in emergencies but none of us trust them to pay us back now,” says one employee.

The impacts have hit the National Park Service as well. One employee was poised to go on a trip to oversee road maintenance at a national monument when the change went into effect on February 20. “Unless I want to pay for it myself, I can’t go. I can’t pay for my hotel, my rental car, fuel for the car. Now I can’t carry out the mission,” the employee says. “Today, instead of focusing on other work, I’m focused on three different contingencies on how to handle this. Do I go? Do I call my engineering team and tell them to reschedule? And if so, when? The project is on an indefinite hold.”

A memo written to staff at the National Park Service specified that “all travel that is NOT related to national security, public safety, or immigration enforcement should be canceled if it begins on Wednesday, February 26, through the end of March 2025.” A long-term decision on the travel policy, it said, will come “at a later date.” Some NPS staffers were able to travel in February despite not getting official clearance. They have now been told no travel will be allowed in March. To date, roughly 75 trips have been canceled or rescheduled, according to a source familiar with the situation.

The National Park Service did not respond to a request for comment from WIRED.

Some government employees say they were given a warning prior to the change being announced on February 20. “We went out and bought cases and cases of toilet paper the night before,” another current employee at the National Park Service says. “There’s a general acknowledgement that things are going to break.”

That employee works in the Pacific West Region, which manages federal land in California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, and Nevada, as well as parks in Arizona, Montana, Guam, and American Samoa. While the GSA did allow for the possibility of exceptions to the clamp-down, the employee claims there are only four purchase cards with spending limits above $1 available for the entire region.

Some of these parks pay for services like internet and wireless on purchase cards—leaving staffers wondering if their work devices could soon be cut off. “Before someone can fix a bathroom a work order has to be issued,” the current employee explains. “That happens electronically. Like any business, we rely on email, Teams, and chat to get things done.”

The spending limits reflect Musk’s belief in zero-based budgeting. After he purchased Twitter, he slashed the budget to zero and forced employees to justify every expense. He also froze people’s corporate credit cards.

“With the Twitter pausing of payments, at some point we were in a meeting at 1 am on a Saturday, and it was like, ‘Hey, let's turn the credit cards off to see what bounces, and what happens,’" explained angel investor Jason Calacanis on the All In podcast in February. (Calacanis was part of Musk’s transition team at Twitter.) “And of course, we started getting calls ... The people who come first, they're probably the ones who are in on the biggest grift.”

Employees see it a different way. “There are so many controls in place to make sure fraud doesn’t happen,” alleges the current NPS staffer. “I honestly believe the only fraud occurring is being committed by Musk, [Russell] Vought, and [Donald] Trump.”

[best-testing-lab-uae]

What Services Do Cosmetic Testing Labs in Abu Dhabi Offer to Local and International Brands? | +971 554747210

Abu Dhabi has rapidly grown as a key player in the beauty and personal care industry within the UAE and the wider Gulf region. For local and international cosmetic brands aiming to enter or expand in this lucrative market, ensuring product safety, quality, and regulatory compliance is paramount. This is where cosmetic testing labs in Abu Dhabi play a crucial role.

These specialized laboratories offer a comprehensive suite of testing and certification services that help brands meet stringent regulatory standards, gain consumer trust, and compete effectively in the market. In this blog, we’ll explore the key services offered by cosmetic testing labs in Abu Dhabi and how these services benefit both local manufacturers and global beauty companies.

Understanding the Role of Cosmetic Testing Labs in Abu Dhabi

Cosmetic testing lab in Abu Dhabi are accredited facilities equipped with advanced technology and expert personnel. They carry out rigorous analyses on cosmetic products — ranging from skincare and makeup to haircare and fragrances — to ensure safety, efficacy, and compliance with the UAE and Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) regulations.

For brands, these labs act as trusted partners that validate product claims, detect potential hazards, and provide credible documentation required for regulatory approvals and market entry.

Key Services Offered by Cosmetic Testing Labs in Abu Dhabi

1. Chemical Composition Analysis

One of the primary services cosmetic testing labs provide is detailed chemical analysis of cosmetic formulations. This includes:

Identifying and quantifying active ingredients.

Detecting harmful substances such as heavy metals (lead, mercury, arsenic).

Ensuring absence of banned or restricted compounds.

Verifying compliance with ingredient concentration limits.

Chemical testing assures that cosmetics are safe for consumer use and adhere to ESMA (Emirates Authority for Standardization and Metrology) and GCC cosmetic regulations.

2. Microbiological Testing

Microbial contamination can compromise cosmetic product safety and shelf life. Abu Dhabi’s cosmetic testing labs conduct microbiological assays to:

Detect bacteria, fungi, and yeast in products.

Test preservative efficacy to ensure microbial control.

Monitor hygiene standards during manufacturing.

This testing guarantees products are free from harmful microorganisms that could cause infections or degrade product quality.

3. Stability and Shelf Life Testing

Cosmetics need to maintain their safety and effectiveness throughout their shelf life. Testing labs perform accelerated and real-time stability tests by exposing products to various environmental conditions like temperature, humidity, and light.

This service helps brands:

Determine accurate expiration dates.

Predict product behavior during storage and transportation.

Identify packaging interactions affecting product stability.

Reliable stability testing supports proper labeling and consumer confidence.

4. Heavy Metal and Toxicological Screening

Heavy metals pose serious health risks even at trace levels. Cosmetic testing labs in Abu Dhabi use sophisticated instrumentation such as Inductively Coupled Plasma Mass Spectrometry (ICP-MS) to detect toxic metals and impurities.

Additionally, toxicological risk assessments are carried out to evaluate the safety of ingredients and formulations, ensuring products pose no harm to consumers.

5. Allergen and Irritant Testing

Many cosmetic products can cause allergic reactions or skin irritation in sensitive individuals. Testing labs evaluate:

Potential allergenic ingredients using in vitro or patch testing.

Skin irritation potential via cell-based assays or clinical testing protocols.

These tests help brands develop hypoallergenic and dermatologist-approved products that appeal to consumers with sensitive skin.

6. Preservative Efficacy Testing (PET)

To prevent microbial growth during use, preservatives are added to cosmetics. Cosmetic labs test how effective these preservatives are against various microbes throughout the product’s lifespan.

PET ensures:

Continued product safety after opening.

Prevention of spoilage and infections.

Compliance with regulatory requirements for preservative levels.

7. Packaging Compatibility Testing

The interaction between cosmetic formulations and their packaging can impact product safety and quality. Testing labs evaluate:

Chemical compatibility of product with packaging materials.

Integrity and durability of packaging under stress conditions.

Migration of harmful substances from packaging to product.

This service prevents contamination risks and ensures optimal product preservation.

8. Halal Certification Support

Abu Dhabi, being a significant Muslim market, demands halal certification for cosmetics. Testing labs assist brands by verifying:

Ingredient compliance with halal standards.

Absence of alcohol, animal-derived substances, and other prohibited ingredients.

Documentation support for halal certification bodies.

This enables brands to access and build trust in the GCC’s halal beauty segment.

9. Regulatory Consulting and Product Registration Assistance

Navigating cosmetic regulations in Abu Dhabi and the wider UAE can be complex for brands. Many cosmetic testing labs offer consultancy services to help:

Prepare technical dossiers and safety data.

Understand labeling and packaging requirements.

Submit products for ESMA and Ministry of Health approvals.

This guidance accelerates market entry and avoids costly compliance errors.

10. Custom Testing and Specialized Services

Cosmetic testing labs in Abu Dhabi also cater to specific client needs, such as:

Natural and organic product verification.

Claims substantiation testing (e.g., anti-aging, moisturizing).

Animal testing alternatives, adhering to UAE animal welfare policies.

Environmental impact assessments and sustainability certifications.

These customized services help brands innovate and differentiate in a competitive marketplace.

Benefits of Using Cosmetic Testing Labs in Abu Dhabi for Brands

Compliance Assurance: Meet UAE and GCC regulatory requirements without hassle.

Quality Validation: Build consumer confidence with certified safety and efficacy data.

Faster Market Access: Streamlined regulatory approvals through accredited testing.

Risk Reduction: Identify and mitigate potential product safety issues early.

Brand Differentiation: Demonstrate commitment to high standards, halal compliance, and sustainability.

Local Expertise: Benefit from labs’ knowledge of Abu Dhabi’s regulatory landscape and consumer preferences.

Conclusion

For local and international cosmetic brands aiming to succeed in Abu Dhabi’s thriving beauty market, partnering with a reliable cosmetic testing lab is indispensable. These labs provide a wide range of critical services—from chemical and microbiological testing to halal certification support and regulatory consultancy—that ensure products are safe, compliant, and market-ready.

By leveraging the expertise and advanced capabilities of cosmetic testing labs in Abu Dhabi, brands can accelerate product launches, minimize risks, and gain a competitive edge in one of the fastest-growing cosmetic hubs in the Middle East.