#Couldnt remember moons eyes lmao

[weirdenbyferret]

I've been thinking about this since @aturtletotz made that little platypus sight on the prize moon gif

[babygirlgiles]

📓

Omg thank you for the ask and the opportunity to rant about my all time favorite daydream fic!

I have been daydreaming about this one forever, it's gone through so many iterations and morphed so much since the first time the idea "omg but what if Willow and Tara had a gay little farm" popped into my head, but it still is The Gay Little Farm fic in my mind until I hopefully come up with a better title lol.

The Gay Little Farm is a gothic horror-y story set in a canon-divergent AU where Willow doesn't go back to Sunnydale after season 6. The fic itself is set several years down the line, after Sunnydale has been destroyed, when-- after spending some time learning more about herself through traveling, living with various covens, going to community college in San Francisco, and eventually getting a degree in computer science and working for a robotics lab-- Willow has recently bought a small farm in New England (I was missing Massachusetts when the idea was first conceived, don't judge lmao. Plus you can't really beat the ambient horror vibes of rural New England).

By the time the fic starts, Giles is the only one of the group that still talks to her. Buffy and Xander were pretty pissed about her decision to not come back, but Giles supported it ultimately because he felt all her emotions in Grave, so he understands the depths of her anguish and understands that she really doesn't know herself anymore, and supports her trying to figure out who she is on her own terms. (Also, he supports her because I asked the very essential question: "what if the btvs writers had decided to leverage how similar Willow's trajectory is to Giles's backstory even the teeniest tiniest bit?" lmao).

Throughout this time, they've emailed each other extensively, like nearly every day, but when Willow's emails start to become less and less frequent after buying the farm, Giles doesn't really think much of it; he knows she's busy trying to get everything set up to be an operational growing season, and that she doesn't have an internet connection at her new house yet so she has to go into town to email him.

It's explicable, so he doesn't worry about it until one day he gets several increasingly bizarre, almost unintelligible, concerning emails in very quick succession.

(lol I'm gonna put a read more because this got long lol. But if anyone else wants to send me one of these ask games : Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.)

She doesn't reply to any of his emails, doesn't answer the phone so he gets on the first flight across the Atlantic to go check on her (it's partly panic, but partly because he's not really pleased with where his life is at the moment anyway, but I won't get into that, this is already getting too long lol, just let it suffice to say he's glad for the excuse to just pack off to somewhere else suddenly). But when Giles gets there, Willow seems perfectly fine. She says she doesn't even have any clue what he's talking about when he tries to bring up the emails, and he figures she must just be embarrassed or something and not want to talk about it, so he drops it.

He decides to stay at the farm for a bit to keep an eye on her and make sure she's okay, but the longer he's there, the more and more weird things start happening. Even as he falls into the rhythms of life on her little farm and gets comfortable there, he can't shake the feeling that something is very wrong. He's having bizarre dreams that are becoming increasingly prophetic, even though there's absolutely no way he should be having prophetic dreams. He starts remembering things-- or at least they feel like memories, but they're certainly not things that ever happened to him. One night, he catches Willow in the middle of what looks like a blood magic ritual, but when he stops her, it's like she wakes up from sleepwalking and has absolutely no recollection of what happened. He's suspicious of Willow and what she might be doing, but also increasingly convinced the house is working some kind of dark magic on them both, so he sets out to research the place. But the nearby town clerk's office, the town's historical society, everywhere he can think to check has absolutely no record of this house existing.

Anyway, I won't spoil what is actually going on with the house because I am for real going to write this (I sort of started a while ago, but as I watched more of the show, my plot and ideas changed SO much). But really, at its core, everything that's going on with the house is about processing their grief, about building a life, about them repairing their relationships, and about the two of them having to come together to do all that by working together to figure out what's going on (although, Willow already suspects what's going on long before Giles even arrives, she just doesn't want to accept it...). The whole story is just like, what if Willow and Giles reconnected in adulthood and finally worked through some of their immense baggage about each other but also just their baggage in general? :) And also there was a farm. :)

[kokocharm]

bruh ive had so many main chars. Like uhhh heres a list boys

- Pheasent (she/her)

This was my first char and this is the oldest image I can find of her. My yt channels first name was "Pheasent," which was indeed intentional. I did not know what a pheasant was at the time, i was like 9 lmao

- Luna (she/her)

I eventually changed my name to • Luna Møønlight • because i thought using symbols made me cool for some reason. I dont think she ever had a set story because every animation i find of her is something entirely random. I know that her eyes changed color depending on her emotion, and theyre usually black.

Oh, she eventually got a red sweater upon the creation of "Best Friends" which is a whole nother story im not even going to TRY to explain

- whoever the fuck this guy is

I honestly didnt think i had anything with them. I dont remember their name, but I do know that they lost their eye in an attack and wore a white mask with pink on their nose, under their eyes and a weird crescent moon on their forehead. Pretty rad design tbh

- Willow (I think) he/him

this asshole was my sona for like 2 days lmfao

- Sombre (she/they)

Sombre, formerly known as Sombra, is a fictional species dubbed a "sokochou" n a series called "GreenFirest Lab." She was my mascot for a loooong while, and when i changed my name to • Invierno • on yt. The whole GFL storyline is so crazy, but the main gist of her story is that her "sokodemon" went batshit crazy, killed all the scientists, and fucking ditched. She went through a few design changes, but this is the oldest one i have

- Arion (he/him)

Arion was my fursona for a bit. And then i didnt like him so i forgot about him(⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) oopsi dasies. sorry arion

- Moth (they/them)

Moth was apart of a story I made like 1 video on. He was part of a series called "Power of Change" that i do not remmeber the details of other than this butterfly looking bitch was a total jackass lmao

- Peppermint (he/him)

Peppermint comes from a place called "Camp Rainfall" if I remember correctly. I was fixating heavily on Origins of Olympus, a Minecraft roleplay on youtube, so.. yeah uh. A lot happened in it and i think peppermint was gay idk

- Charlie (they/them)

When I moved to my new channel, I wanted a character simple to animate. Charlie's story is that they will always die before the age of 20, and theyre pissed about it. Ax is there too, I dont really know what they do

- Two (it/they)

(i couldnt find a better ref pic with their official design cus im on my phone and im lazy)

Two is my current main char ^_^ i am very happy with its design and i do genuinely enjoy animating it, unlike Charlie (sorry charlie). It doesnt have a story and i dont plan on giving it one. Its kinda just my mascot HAHA

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

CHAPTER 9: LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH

A/N: i made a moodboard for yaera and im really proud of it lmao

warnings: blood mention, drugs mention, suicide/self harm mention, gambling

wordcount: 8000 and some change

prev chapter

***

i remember climbing out my window that night. the moon was full, my stomach giddy thinking of seeing his pretty eyes. he said he wanted to meet me, i couldnt believe that what people said was true.

guys really were MEAN to the girls they liked.

being made fun of constantly? not my love language. never was. it reminded me too much of how my parents treated me, and i never found comfort in that at all.

my insecurities getting pointed out, getting mocked for the enjoyment of others. how could you like someone who did all those things to you?

i wondered that for a while. i was too hopeful, i guess.

that didnt stop me from doing my hair and finally making use of all the designer my mother brought home. i curled my fringe and the ends of my black hair, giving myself the look only a stupidly happy person could muster and snuck out of my house.

i didnt expect to see my twin sister doing the exact same thing.

our mouths collectively dropped open when we saw one another, completely baffled that neither of us had said anything. i wouldve told her where i was going, but she hadnt given me the time of day.

"i can explain," she nervously said, laughing. "okay nevermind, you first."

"no way!" i said, shaking my head. "you? sneaking out? fess up!"

yasmine was like the model twin to everyone. of course she wasnt perfect, she had flaws just like everyone else. she was a massive people pleaser, so i wondered just exactly who she was trying to impress with her new sneaky habits.

anyone that had my goodie two-shoes sister sneaking out of the house couldnt be good news, i thought. i was also impressed by how they managed to actually get her to go through with it.

"im just meeting...someone," she giggled dumbly. it was almost pitch black in our yard and yet i knew her cheeks were stained red.

"and you didnt tell me about him? who is it? someone from a rival school?"

my sister was dramatic enough to hide something like that. she had just broken up with her asshole boyfriend, collin, who no one liked, so i would have gladly encouraged this phase.

"its just someone. you dont know him."

i raised an eyebrow. "so when will i get to? whats his name?"

"im not saying anything, yae." she deadpanned.

"what?" i couldnt hide the disappointment from my voice. "but we tell each other everything."

she sighed. "relax, i will tell you just not right now. gosh quit being so codependent."

i frowned. "im not codependent i just care about your life. but whatever since you wanna be a massive bitch about it."

silence filled after a familiar insecurity rose to surface level. my sister knew how much i loved and needed her. she was my sister. some siblings were close, some werent. but my sister was my only friend. and all i really had. she knew that.

and sometimes she reminded me of how much i held her back.

she would sit with her massive friend group with attractive, sociable and fun people. she would always try to push me to talk to them or even make my own friends. i tried, i swear i did. it usually didnt go well. i never understood why.

maybe i was the problem. i could only really care about one person at a time. i didnt know what that was called. it took time for me to get close with people, the fear of being judged and abandoned an imminent one.

my brain always told me, my own sister would never abandon or judge me. we were blood. we were in this shit forever.

apparently i was the only one passionate about it.

"yae, cmon dont be like that," yasmine sighed. "i didnt mean that. i will tell you i promise."

i didnt answer her, only wiped the tears that gathered in my eyes for that moment. i crumbled up the letter he gave me as i rolled it into a fist in my pocket.

"its whatever, i guess ill see you in the morning," i muttered and started walking to the gate.

"wait!" she whisper-yelled. "where are you going?"

"ill tell you later. good luck with whoever youre meeting."

i called an uber to the address, trying to lighten up my mood on the way there. i put lipgloss on, trying to smile in my compact mirror. i wasnt really good with make up, but since i had a good feeling about this boy, i would need to start getting good.

this was the first time he'd invited me to his house. usually when yasmine went it wasnt a mutual invite. now i was going solo. he really changed his mind about me.

i kept impulsively eating mints, practicing my facial expressions and the uber driver probably thought i was crazy. when i got dropped infront of the wrought iron gates, he was standing there waiting for me.

in a white tshirt and grey sweatpants. he was so beautiful. he pulled his lips into that sly smirk i knew, as if he got everything he wanted. and being who he was, he did.

i mean, thats how i was here even though he bullied the fuck out of me whenever he could.

"hi," i said, giving a small wave. the wind blew my skirt a little, making me hold it down embarrassingly.

jongho continued giving me that satisfied smirk as he eyed me up and down. "you know its two am. i really didnt expect you to actually come."

i mean you asked me to. of course i would. im almost in love with you.

i shrugged like it was nothing. "you told me to come when i was comfortable. i thought this was appropriate."

"i see you dressed appropriately too. nice legs," he said, making my face heat up. "goddamn, model genes really runs in your family. well i dont wanna keep you in the cold. lets go inside."

he guided me into his home, his hand on my lower back. i swear i couldnt breathe. he never touched me like this infront of the others. infront of her.

his house was dark except for the light in the living room and up the staircase. the sound of my miu miu boots on the marble made me realize how empty everything sounded.

"are you alone at home?" i asked, kind of excited for the answer.

"yeah, my folks left for something in singapore. you know how it is," he casually said, showing me into a room. "make yourself comfy."

it was his room. i dont know what i imagined, but seeing it, it was so jongho.

trophies for singing competitions, soccer, and some even for academics lined the walls around his massive bed. he had a large mirror directly opposite his bed and a balcony that overlooked the infinity pool in his backyard. i strolled around in admiration, turning around when i heard two loud pats.

jongho sat on his bed and was gesturing for me to do the same. the led lights in his room were red and so dim, making him look far more hot than he already was.

i reluctantly planted myself next to him, my heart rate going higher than a kite. jongho licked his lips and took a heavy breath as he prepared to speak. god he was so attractive, i hated how much i liked him. i left my home at two am just because he asked. fuck.

"thanks for coming to talk," he muttered, his voice deeper and hitting the perfect spot in my ear drums. "i know it was kinda a lot to ask."

i rolled my hair behind my ear and shrugged. "its no big deal. what did you wanna talk about?"

jongho moved closer, now he was so close i could feel the radiation of his body heat. oh god.

"i know ive been hard on you for coming into our friend group and everything. im really sorry for all the mean things i said."

the apology struck me, hitting the thoughts from my brain. that wasnt what i expected.

"i called you clingy and made yasmine think you were a loser," jongho sighed, shaking his head. "she doesnt believe that of course, but im really sorry. i know i can be mean sometimes but its just how i give affection. youre cool with that, right?"

i nodded thoughtlessly. i was just happy to have him talk to me.

"yea, thats fine. i get it. im not that sensitive dont worry," i forced a smile, knowing his insults hurt more than anything. but at least he was sorry. right?

"cool, cool." he smiled down at me. "i hope we can be good friends then, yae. can you do me a favour then?"

"what kind of favour?"

my mind was running wild right then. all the insane teenage hormones were overflowing. the close proximity and how handsome he was, the fact that my short skirt had such easy access. choi jongho was a hard guy to resist. and i was failing.

i didnt hear his words, i was so focused on his lips and the cute mole in his neck, i acted without thinking.

i leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, softly grabbing the side of his face. i couldnt believe what i was doing. for a second his warm mouth welcomed mine, taking it in fully. then, i felt coldness on my lips as he pulled away.

"what are you doing?" he scoffed, his eyes narrowed spitefully. my stomach shrunk.

"uh–i–" i stammered, only to be cut off.

"are you fucking kidding me right now? are you deaf?" he raised his voice. "did you not just hear me ask is yasmine if interested in anyone? why the fuck would you kiss me."

"im sorry–i–" i couldnt believe what i just did. what was wrong with me. he wanted to know about yasmine. not me. what the fuck. this was so awkward.

wait. so i read everything...wrong?

"shit," he cursed under his breath. "this is bad."

"is that why you called me here?" i asked, fearing the answer. "to find out if yasmine is interested in anyone?"

"obviously. why else are you useful?" he meanly answered. i felt an embarrassed pang in my chest. "did you think i liked you?"

the mocking laugh that fell from his lips after made me flinch. because how stupid was i to think he actually saw me differently now.

to think that someone like him could actually like someone like me.

"youre so fucking naive, yaera," he kept driving the knife in, shaking his head with that taunting smile. "just cause you look like your sister doesnt mean you should have the same confidence. youre setting yourself up."

i remembered the first day i sat with yasmine's friend group, jongho pointed out that even though we were twins, i wasnt nearly as attractive as yasmine. i laughed it off awkwardly because i thought he was joking.

"you know desperation is unattractive as fuck, right? i cant believe you drove here at two in the morning because you thought i liked you."

i was shivering in my skin, trying not to completely burst into tears. my entire body was flushing hot with anger and spite, and the most embarrassing of all–heartbreak. because deep down i knew he would never get over my sister. it made me insane.

why did everyone fucking act like i wasnt worthy of being liked just like everyone else? but as soon as they saw the scars on my arms they wanted to tell me the same bullshit.

youre loved, yaera.

stop hurting yourself, yaera.

stop using this for attention, yaera.

i couldnt bear to stay a second longer. i wiped the wetness of my cheeks and got up from the bed, immediately going to leave. jongho got up and tugged at my wrist, pulling me back to him.

"you havent told me about your sister yet," jongho said, making my rage spike. because who the fuck did he think he was. "cmon, dont cry because of silly shit like that. its water under the bridge."

"i hate you," i seethed through my tears. "i dont know why yasmine is friends with someone like you in the first place."

"because shes like me," jongho taunted. "and thats what you refuse to see. you dont realize how much of a burden you are to her. you dont realize the only reason she hasnt ditched you yet is because youre related to her."

okay, so he was continuing then?

"you always act like youre so perfect," i spat. "you talk about how much of a burden i am? imagine how much of a burden you are to yasmine because you keep trying to date her. shes never gonna like you. you're just another guy friend in her collection, cunt."

i ripped my arm from his grip and stormed out of his room. he followed me till i reached the bottom of the staircase, where he just watched me spitefully from the railing. now he was angry? of course. pieces of shit like jongho were great at dishing it out and not taking it back.

i felt so petty. he could have rejected me normally but he thought he could say whatever he wanted to me. tearing the little self esteem i had down was fun for him.

i turned around and smiled. "you really wanna know what yasmine thinks of you? she doesnt. in fact, she snuck out of the house to meet someone. shes probably getting fucked as we speak. enjoy that mental image, fucker."

"get the fuck out of my house!"

***

YAERA

an hour has passed since san left me in his apartment. im worried and have a weird feeling in my stomach just imagining what he's doing right now.

despite the anger i feel toward him, i hope he's safe. that's all I hope for. he's hurt badly, looking more damaged than when he fought the last time. he definetely has open wounds. so i look around for any first aid. he's gonna need it for when he comes back.

i rummage through his cabinets. there's so much empty spaces but its filled with random stuff. this guy needs to go shopping. he has so much expired medicine. i find a thin roll of bandages and plasters in the very back of a cupboard but when i take them out, something falls on the ground.

its a folded up piece of paper. when i pick it up, i realize its actually a crumbled up picture. a picture of a family.

my stomach immediately sinks.

a young asian lady and her husband are holding their toddler son. it looks like theyre at a carnival. everyone is smiling, except for the kid. hes pouting.

he was so cute as a baby.

a weird feeling of melancholy hits me hard realizing the people in this picture are no longer around.

san lives alone. apparently hes been alone for a long time. i can tell by the way he operates. hes selfish, not even in a bad way. i get why he caters for himself and tries to keep away from others.

im not even angry anymore. it just makes me sad.

i put the picture back where i found it and go sit by the bed. san doesnt have any alcohol in his house, so i end up having to look up the nearest pharmacy.

i make a quick run for it, deciding to buy him some more medicine and fill up my asthma pump while im at it. i dont know why im doing this when he probably hates me. i guess im always gonna be a sucker for the men i like.

when i get back, his door is unlocked. i panic, but then i find him and his friend eyeing me like they want to kill me.

"where were you?!" san asks me, raising his voice. "dont walk around here. you know this isnt the suburbs."

i lift the pharmacy bag. "i was just getting you medicine. i threw out your expired packs. which were all of them, by the way."

he has a lost look on his face. i turn to his "cousin" and hold my hand out. "the name's yaera marino, san's fake girlfriend. good to officially meet you."

"im wooyoung. san's fake cousin," he says, taking my hand with reluctance.

"are you sleeping here tonight?" i ask him.

"yes he is," san answers. "we're sharing a mattress. you can still sleep on my bed."

i feel a pang of jealously. goddamn it that should be me.

i nod to san. "go take a shower. im gonna give you first aid."

san is confused, looking at me like he doesnt understand english. "you know how to do first aid?"

"i learned it when i was still doing karate. go shower." i chase him away with my hand.

san awkwardly goes off, leaving me alone with wooyoung. i quietly take in the boy, who now that i can see clearly, is obviously younger than san. i cant believe hes in the gang too.

"what took you so long?" i ask him, frowning. "i was worried."

"we had to get rid of the license plate," wooyoung answers, his tone curt and cold. "and you were worried? dont make me laugh."

his words are sharp and sound spiteful. im guessing he knows how san and i began this partnership. i hold my tongue and let him snap.

"you dont care about san. youre using him," he says, but still quiet enough so that san doesnt overhear. "i just want you to know, i can make you disappear at any time i want. all i need is the greenlight from san and you'll be scattered across a lake."

"you think that will protect him?" i ask with a wry smile. wooyoung's fist clenches on the side of him, his knuckles bloody and bruised.

"what makes you think i dont have a million copies of that video? that i dont have a plan in case one of you hurt me? im not some dumb bitch."

wooyoung shakes his head and laughs scornfully. what did he expect me to say? shiver me timbers? i literally know he shot someone tonight.

"and here san thinks you wouldnt hurt him. i dont care what kind of plan you have. if you hurt san, i'll fucking kill you myself," he threatens.

i wouldnt ever hurt him. not even in my dreams. unless he hurts me first, then fuck him.

"trust me, i wont be an issue," i say nonchalantly, sitting on the bed. i lean back and feel a pain in the spot where san kicked me. right above my boobs.

"i just need enough money by the end of the school year. then i'll go back to my country and disappear from your lives forever."

"do you know how much of a risk this is? what san is letting you do?" wooyoung scoffs. "thats if you even make it to the end of the year. if anyone finds out about this, youre both fucked."

"no ones gonna find out unless you tell them," i eye him sharply. i dont trust this guy but apparently san does, enough to tell him about our parternship.

"san has a hard life already. you should just get out of his life," wooyoung snaps. "if you knew why he was in the gang, you'd never ask him to do what youre doing now."

his words somehow make me feel guilty. but why? why should i feel guilty when san doesnt even tell me whats going on.

"woo."

wooyoung's demeanor changes when he hears san's voice. he immediately stiffens and acts completely clueless.

my breath gets stuck in my throat. san is standing there in nothing but a white tank top and a striped red pyjamma pants. his muscles and skinny waist are on perfect display. my mouth suddenly goes dry.

no. fuck. yaera, focus.

"what are you doing?" san asks like hes talking to a kid. i find it highly amusing but keep my face blank.

"i was just defending you," wooyoung says with a scowl.

"im not in any danger. like i told you."

"yeah but–"

"jung wooyoung."

wooyoung groans at san's warning and shoots me a hard glare telling me this conversation isnt close to over. he storms into san's extra room and shuts the door, probably thinking the worst of the situation.

i cant lie, despite his intimidating and handsome appearance, i cant take him seriously at all. i find it endearing that he cares so much about san that he even threatened me. so san isnt alone after all.

he looks at me and sighs, his face adorably awkward. the black strands of his hair are wavy against his forehead, making him look so soft despite the bruises and cuts on his face.

its embarrassing how quickly i forgot how badly i wanted to hurt him today.

"sorry about wooyoung," he says and comes to sits down on the bed. "hes just...possessive."

"you mean protective," i correct him and smile. "its good that you have someone looking out for you. you need it."

san goes quiet but is looking at me like he has a lot on his mind. right, he had to get someone killed tonight. how could i forget.

i take out the first aid materials and scoot closer to him. the warmth of his body is already wafting towards me, the scent of the soap so potent on his skin. its an intoxicating smell.

"can i see where you got hurt?" my voice is so hesitant it doesnt even sound like me.

san is slow with lifting his top. i refrain from visibly gulping at the sight of his beautiful lower body, my mouth going dry when i notice the large gashes against his ribs. they cut him with a knife.

"why would you put on a white shirt to bed?" i ask him with a scowl.

"the bleeding stopped in the shower," san shrugs embarrassedly. "plus this was all i could find."

i inspect the wound and it looks like he cleaned a whole lot of it in the shower. "it looks like i just have to put ointment on and wrap you. you need to go to the doctor if it gets infected, you know that right?"

"i dont think that will be necessary. ive never needed to before," san says coolly.

i cant believe hes just brushing this off. "how often do you get injured like this?" i ask him as i dip a finger into the antibiotic cream. i gently run it over his gashes and he winces. .

"now and then," he forces out, as if trying to hide that it hurts. "it wouldnt really matter the extent. i'd still have to go to school."

i roll my eyes. of course. the perfect student.

i rub in the ointment and it feels like my cheeks are on fire. ive never been this close to anyone. ive never done this for anyone. my hands are shaking as i reach for the sterile bandage.

"are we ever going to talk about what happened tonight?" i ask quietly. "because i dont want us to forget."

san is staring through my soul with his intimidating, and pretty brown eyes. i can see him withdrawing. hes already far away.

"i know i was reckless and im sorry. but please dont lie to me, san. i really fucking hate not knowing whats going on. i know you were probably trying to protect me, but you could have been honest."

i expect him to say sorry too. but only silence is returned.

"i wont lie to you again. ive seen the effects it has," he mutters.

"i dont want our partnership to be us just lying to and antagonizing each other. i know you dont trust me. but we're gonna have to trust each other for this shit to work."

"i do trust you," san says after a few moments pass. he tightens as i roll the bandage around his torso. "i just dont trust myself. and everyone else."

i stay quiet hoping for him to elaborate. i feel it coming. the hope is bubbling in my chest.

"i watched yunho die," his voice is flat, as if drained from emotion. "he got stabbed right infront of wooyoung and i. we should be used to it, we've seen tons of people come and go in the last four years."

i finish bandaging him and lower his shirt reluctantly. san watches my every move, and im surprised he lets me.

"im sorry you had to go through that so young," i tell him, genuinely. the look on his face is so distant that it feels like hes given up a long time ago.

"is this is how its gonna be? forever?" i ask. "is there any way out of this for you?"

i remember san implying that he wasnt doing this out of his freewill. which means his boss must have a lot of leverage over him.

"i dont know. im still trying to figure that out."

"what do they have on you?"

san chuckles darkly, his soft laugh full of scorn and hopelessness. "well, they know where i live, for starters. they know where i go to school. they know everything about me."

and his parents? where the fuck are your parents san?

he can see the question in my eyes. his smile is filled with gloom. "you can thank my dad for that. hes the reason all of this started. the reason ive been in this servitude for most of my childhood."

i frown. "servitude?"

"my dad...he was a shit guy," san sighs. "he was an alcoholic gangster with gambling tendencies. he made a bet with the 105ths he couldnt repay. so he took off. and when they couldnt make him pay it off, they took me instead."

"im paying off hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, thanks to my shit father. and i dont have any money so i had to give all i could so they dont kill me. myself."

i cant believe it. san is basically in a slave contract. and theres nothing he can do about it. my chest feels tight.

"what about your mom?" i ask softly. 

san shrugs and lays down on the bed, looking straight at the ceiling as he crosses his arms behind his head.

"shes gone. she left when the gang stuff got too complicated. they sent a warning to our apartment telling my dad to pay his debt, in the form of a petrol bomb. it scared the shit out of her, so she took off."

"without you!?" i ask incredulously.

"while i was at school. i just got used to it. coming home to nothing."

what kind of parents...fuck. i cant even say anything. im just fucking sad. i feel a hundred times worse about blackmailing him now.

"the 105ths said they would let me go if i paid off everything. theyre still letting me go to school as long as i dont neglect the gang."

"what if you ran away?" i ask curiously. san stares at me blankly.

"they would find me and do to me what they did to yunho. or even worse. its not worth it really. im just hoping it ends soon. then ill disappear. for good."

and now im dampening his plans by making him share his money with me. god i hate myself.

"how much do you owe?"

"i dont know. i just know the deal ends when miss A calls it off. she deems how much is enough."

i scowl. "what? and what if it never gets called off? what if they trap you here?"

"im hoping it wont come to that. ive been loyal for a long time."

that doesnt mean shit when people only love using you. but i dont say that. it already means so much that san decided to say something. to be honest. i cant lie and act like im okay after hearing the truth. but i wont pity him. san deserves better than that.

"ill help you," i look down at him fiercely. "ill help you cancel out your dads debt."

san looks at me deeply. "thats not necessary."

i hold out a hand. "dont even say it. get a fixed amount from your boss and ill help you get it."

"why would you do that?"

my stomach turns at the question. i dont even know. i cant say its because of the mild lady boner i have for him. its more than that. choi san deserves more than what happened to him.

"its only fair, isnt it?" i say with a small smile. "i get to go back home and you get to go to...where was it? nottingham?"

he wants to study pharmacy. i wonder if he meant that.

sans cheeks are red. is he...blushing?

"why do you remember that?" he asks with a soft groan.

i chuckle to myself. "cause its weird as fuck. england? what the hell do you wanna do in england? seriously if you want to go to europe there are so many better places. why nottingham?"

san shrugs embarrassedly. "i like football."

"you? like football?" i scoff. "that's the reason you wanna live in england?"

"why do you sound so shocked? can't i like football?" he asks defensively.

"you don't even look like you've watched soccer a day in your life. i'd never guess that you'd like an english team."

san snorts and laughs to himself a little. my legs go jelly a little. i keep underestimating how adorable he can be.

"my mother is a huge soccer fan," he admits fondly. my smile is quick to fall away. "once we went to watch her favourite team play in nottingham. she was so excited about it, she got me interested in it."

i feel myself soften. "so you want to go for your mother? is she going to move with you?"

"no," he sighs. i must be shit at connecting the dots because i still dont get it.

"she's in Korea. i can't go back there. i had to give up my Korean citizenship this year because I'm not enlisting."

"so you'll never see her again?"

my question hangs in the air. san doesnt answer it, because even he doesnt know. he still has hope. i can tell. he just doesnt know if its still worth holding onto.

everything has gotten deep so fast.

"maybe we should go to bed. we still have school tomorrow," i say and lie down next to him. theres a small gap between us that i know neither of us will close. but it feels good to hope.

san tries to get up but groans as he holds his injured side. i push him down gently by the shoulder, his eyes slightly widening.

"youre too tired to get up anyway," i say softly. "just stay here. i promise i wont bite."

unless you want me to.

san looks at me awkwardly and nods, lying back down on his back. his eyes are aimed at the ceiling and i pull my knees inward as i lay on my side looking at him.

everything about him is so...i dont even have the words to explain it. i just have a feeling that everything will work out for us exactly the way we want it to.

"thank you," i say. san slowly turns his head and raises his eyebrows at me in confusion.

"for being honest. i know you didnt wanna mention all that. but thanks."

san doesnt say anything more. theres a  ghost of a smile on his face, but its enough for me to hold onto. choi san, maybe youre not actually that much of an asshole.

"goodnight, yaera."

***

san

i thought i imagined it. having her curled up in my arms. i felt it that night, her warm skin against mine and her soft breaths and hair on my chest. i told myself i was imagining it. because the morning after, she was gone.

yaera vanished like thin air. i feel embarrassed for everything that came out of my mouth last night. i cant believe i actually told her what happened to my family.

are you that desperate for friends? i ask the loser in the mirror as i get ready for school. the bruises in my face are so bad it looks like im going to have to wear a mask all day.

wooyoung comes out of the spare room as im almost finished with breakfast. he doesnt greet me with a good morning, instead he looks around expectantly.

"wheres the blackmailer?" he asks sarcastically. "is she also a magician?"

"her parents drop her at school so she left," i answer dryly. "morning to you too, asshole."

wooyoung gives me a bland stare. "you didnt come to bed last night."

"sorry? are we married?"

"what the fuck are you doing san?" wooyoung shouts at me. oh god are we really doing this at six in the morning.  "do you actually like this chick or what?"

"where did you get that idea?" i ask him calmly, knowing it will rile him up even more.

"maybe the fact that you slept in the same bed. youre letting her blackmail you for fucks sake–"

"wooyoung, we both passed out. with clothes on. and didnt i ask you to fucking trust me?" i glare at him. because why is he acting like my wife.

"i dont like this one bit." he shakes his head like a disapproving parent.

"you dont have to like it. all you have to do is let me do the work."

i feel my phone buzz in my pockets. i open it and see a missed call from yeosang. ugh this loser.

i open a message from him and its a birthday invitation. oh shit i almost forgot.

"woo, wanna come with me to a party?" i ask him. maybe he'll be less annoying if he can get the attention of some private school girl too.

"is it gonna be one of those fancy private school prick parties?" woo scowls, then smiles. "free food. im in."

"not to mention you could probably sell some stuff from there."

woo suddenly gets a burst if excitement. "that reminds me, i stole from that black dragon dickhead. we still have to split up the cash."

now that hes reminded me, i move to punch woo in the arm. "owwww!" he yells and shoves me. "what the fuck!"

"youre worried about me getting blackmailed when you possibly started a gang war," i snap at him. "when are you gonna tell miss A?"

"i dont plan to," woo says confidently. my face pales. no way.

"are you serious?" i ask worriedly. woo nods confidently. too confident who saw one of our own get mutilated last night.

"since im keeping your secret, you better keep mine."

thats entirely different, i want to say. i wanna argue with woo but the annoyingly playful nature on his face tells me hes not going to take me seriously at all.

"you know what they say," woo says with a grin. "out of sight, out of mind."

***

yaera

"youre in a good mood," my father notes as we get in the car that morning. and hes right. i cant take the smile off my face because i woke up on choi san's chest.

"i have a good feeling about this week," i say. my mom snorts, her eyes glued to her phone.

"and what brought on this feeling?"

its weird that my father is asking, because he genuinely never seems interested in anything i do. but since we're on the topic...

"miss evans got me a tutor. i invited him to come over after school today, is that okay?" i ask them. my mother immediately turns around with the signature sneer on her face.

"and who is miss evans to assign you a tutor? does she plan to pay for this?" she asks.

"uh? my AP bio teacher? you met her the beginning of the year?" i remind her. "and no, im paying out of my own pocket."

"good," she dryly says. "in that case its fine. the maids will all be home. as long as hes gone by dinner."

i quietly fistbump myself in the backseat, my stomach filled with butterflies. san, in my room, teaching me stuff i dont care about at all. what a dream come true.

best part is? he wont have to meet this family at all.

im skipping out of the car by the time they drop me off at school. i light up a cigarette as i stroll through the parking lot, feeling like a girl from some book who just landed a date with her crush. maybe life is worth living.

"marino!" a voice calls me. i pause in my tracks as i blow out my steam, turning around slowly to see...

...ah fuck.

"hey marino!" kang yeosang calls me with his signature douchebag smirk as he walks up to me. "long time no see."

i take an extra long drag from my cig because god it is needed for any conversation with yeosang.

"what do you want?" i ask him. he acts surprised and offended.

"wow, is that how you greet an old friend?" he shakes his head with a sigh. "kinda mean you know?"

i roll my eyes. "get to what it is you want, you know you and i have never been friends."

yeonsang clicks his tongue, his half smile not even shrunken by an inch. "always the pleasantries with you, marino. i just wanted to know if youve seen lazarus. since i hear you two come as a package nowadays. congrats by the way. you two totally look good together."

"lazarus?" i repeat dumbly. "who the fuck is that?"

"choi san," yeosang giggles like its the funniest thing ever.

"why do you call him lazarus?"

yeosang tilts his head at me like its obvious. "cause hes a scholarship student? hello?"

this fucking asshole. i toss my cigarette at him and he dodges fast enough to my dismay.

"dont call him that," i hiss. "plus why do you want to see him?"

"thats between us men, sweetheart," he says as a matter of fact. "just let him know when you see him, to give me a call. he doesnt answer my messages."

"maybe you should take the hint then."

yeosang looks at me with strange fascination, as if hes high in this very moment. its like he finds me amusing, hes just always giving me that stupid lopsided smile.

"i wonder how it happened, the two of you," he says with a glint of mischief. as if he cant wait to say something offensive. "its just funny how your type went from jongho...to him."

heat hits my face in embarassment. "jongho isnt the only guy ive had a crush on you know, you can stop bringing him up for every fucking thing. we never even dated," i say defensively.

this is why i hate talking to anyone my sister was friends with. all they could talk about was the past. not to mention most of the people she liked were fucking horrible.

"you never dated, but you were in love with him," yeosang childishly points out. "and even if he wont admit it, he probably felt something for you too."

i scoff. no he didnt. choi jongho doesnt love anyone but himself. id learnt that too late.

"i dont care," i grit out. "why are you even bringing this up?"

"yas would have wanted you to be with jongho. especially because he couldnt have her," yeosang just keeps boiling my blood. i cant believe this. i cant believe he just said that.

"i dunno how she would feel seeing you with...lazarus."

"shut the fuck up," i snap.

yeosang lifts his hands in defense. "im just saying because i care, yae. you cant just date someone you dont know. choi san might not be the sweet guy you think he is."

what is he even playing at? does he think san will sell him drugs if he goes around badmouthing him?

"and youre sweet?" i scoff. "you and jongho and whoever else was in that fucked up group? you think you can talk because you knew my sister? dont act like you ever cared about me."

"god youre so sensitive," yeosang laughs meanly. "i was just playing with you. and you wonder why you never got invited to our parties. youre just the strawman of fun arent you?"

"that doesnt make any fucking sense," i snap at him. "i can never get back the time i wasted having this conversation. mind your business and leave me alone, yeah, stronzo? and dont mention san to me ever again."

"dont forget to let him know i was looking for him!" yeosang calls after me as i storm off. i dont even need to turn around to know hes smiling, completely full of himself.

***

i only see san when lunch rolls around. all our common classes are later in the day and ive been obsessively waiting to see him all day. ive got a busy day ahead, my mind set on a very specific target.

i find him by the abandoned stairwell, and its like hes been waiting for me.

he shakes his head at me as i come, i narrow my eyes in confusion.

"am i missing something?" i ask him. "whats with the face?"

"why dont you check your phone?" san grumbles at me. his eyes trail behind me, where i turn to see jongho descending the stairs.

hes smiling like a prick. oh god. two assholes in one day.

"i guess the two of you dont learn," he says tauntingly. "this isnt a place for your dates."

"we havent done anything wrong," san says annoyedly. im glad he finds jongho as annoying as i do.

"maybe not you. but her," jongho turns to me with a smile. "i see your hair still isnt dyed back. you were given two warnings. one more and its suspension. i dont think your failing grades can afford two weeks out."

looking at him now, i dont know what i ever saw in him. im so embarrassed to say ive been rejected by this asshole like a hundred times.

i cant risk detention today. it would spoil mine and san's plans and would just be boring as hell. i guess im going to have to cave.

jongho smirks dreadfully. "why you so quiet, yae? didnt i tell you'd get you back?"

"look, im sorry okay," i say against my will. "i didnt mean to punch you. and ill have my hair dyed by tomorrow. good enough for you?"

san looks between us in confusion. i hope he doesnt ask any questions. if he thinks im crazy now he shouldnt ever hear of jongho-obsessed yaera.

"not good enough, sorry," jongho starts writing on that stupid peach notepad and i sigh. this time he only writes my name. meaning ill have detention without san. miss morri will love this.

"maybe next time you'll watch your mouth," jongho smiles at us before strollling away like the arrogant pig he is. i sigh heavily as san turns to me with narrowed eyes.

"why does he hate you so much?" san asks me annoyedly. "he just came here asking specifically. what did you do?"

"why are you assuming i did something?" i scowl. san gives me an obvious look.

"why else would he hate you that much?"

"because hes an asshole," i scoff. "i might be one too, but im nothing like him. my sister never reciprocated his love and he made it everyone elses problem. he also told me i should have died instead of her."

"what the fuck. he needs help."

"most people at this school do," i sigh. "speaking of help, i need yours."

san gives me his suspicious, pretty eyes. i smile excitedly. "im letting you into my side hustle. you remember how i told you i got my savings?"

"you said you stole most of it..."

"bingo."

san groans. "i hope you dont expect me to help you steal a car or something."

i roll my eyes. he must think im an adrenaline junkie or something. "dont be ridiculous. all i need is a look out before school ends. you think you can do that?"

san sighs hopelessly, surrendering. "what do you need?"

"get me into the boys lockeroom."

"...what are you doing there?"

"if i tell you it wont be special, would it?" i say and he scowls.

"dont do anything stupid. what about detention? are you going?"

i smirk. "obviously not. you still owe me a tutoring session."

san nods in a way that tells me he definetely forgot. how shameless.

"luckily for you, my parents allowed you to come over. and they wont be home till night and i'll make sure youre out of sight before then."

san nods. "just tell me what to bring."

the day goes by quickly until the last period finally rolls around. its geography, and as much as i love this subject, i end up skipping. san is having english and i couldnt convince him to skip, so i wait for him after school near the sportsfield.

the school soccer team are practicing, meaning all the lockerooms are unoccupied. its perfect.

i didnt usually target them, but the plan felt brilliant when i thought of it. usually i went for the girls, they were easy. expensive phone cases, airpods, clothes, and luxury perfume. all things that sold so easily online. people would do anything for a bargain.

can you imagine how much soccer gear would sell? i know damn well not every one of those players were using ALL of their gear.

plus, i need to get back at that asshole jongho. i didnt know his number so i'd just have to look around and guess whose locker smells the most potent and obnoxious.

san comes jogging around the bend, looking so prim and proper in his school blazer. i smirk in greeting. "you ready for some fun?" i ask him.

"i hope this doesnt take long, you know we have to catch the bus if we're going to your house," he reminds me.

i managed to convince my parents i was taking the bus with him home so they didnt have to pick us up. they called the school and made sure san wasnt a trouble maker and questioned his records. you know, a completely normal response.

"dont worry. i'll be in and out, lets go."

i take san's arm and we sneak into the separate building reserved for the boys lockerrooms. of course it smells like stale air, cologne and dampness.

i walk past the lockers and gaze at the numbers and locks. i check my watch. practice ends at 4:30 pm. its currently 4:00.

i nod to san and gesture with my eyes to the door. "guard while i get busy." i take various pins out of my pocket, having brought them specifically for this purpose.

"how are you gonna get those lockers open?" san asks me. i bend down infront of the first locker and start fiddling with my pins.

"lock-picking," i answer distractedly.

"you know how to pick locks?" san says in disbelief.

"you dont?"

"no. im not a weirdo."

"youre such a lousy gangster. arent you supposed to be street smart?"

"im not a gangster," san corrects me with an eye roll. hes feeling sassy today. "im a part time employee."

i cant take him seriously and end up chuckling. the locker clicks open and i find only a folded uniform on the inside. i rummage through the pockets and find a wallet. i open it and theres no cash, only cards. useless because as soon as its found to be missing they'll all be blocked.

i sigh and check deeper. i find a silver watch. its an omega brand. jackpot.

i slip it into my pocket and fold the uniform back. they should really secure these lockers better.

"are you getting somewhere?" san asks as he nervously looks out the door.

"of course," i say with ease and move onto the next locker. its slightly harder to open. i remember a specific scenario like this coming up in the youtube tutorial i watched. all i have to do is whatever that guy did.

it takes longer than i thought. when it pops open i can see san's distressed eyes glaring at me to hurry up.

and thats when i see it. the treasure guaranteed to win us a mini lottery.

"holy shit, look at this baby," i gasp and take out the camera, showing it to san.

"who leaves a camera in their gym locker?" san scowls. "that person deserves to get robbed."

"its expensive too!" i giggle in excitement. "its a Lumix GH5! you know the price of this? we're gonna be fucking rich!"

"who does it belong to?"

i shrug and look back inside the locker. there isnt much except the camera and a few pairs of gym socks and knee pads. "i guess we'll figure it out when we look at it."

i slam the locker shut and we're about to leave when san suddenly shoves me back. i stare at him in confusion as he runs out and i hear voices on the outside.

"what are you doing here?" someone asks him suspiciously. oh god. i recognize that voice. jongho.

"i...was looking for you," san says, and i can tell hes fighting for his life thinking of a good lie. "are there still spots left on the team?"

jongho scoffs. "youre kidding, right?"

theres an awkward silence. oh fuck i need to save him from himself.

"stick to the books, choi san. at least you dont embarrass yourself there."

"no im serious...i wanna join your team. is there anywhere to sign up?"

jongho groans. "im team captain, you have to go with me to the coach for this."

"lets go now then."

"i need to get something from my locker."

"uh...im in a hurry. can we just go now? i cant miss my bus home."

hes trying to get jongho away so i can sneak out. theyre right at the door. ive never held my breath so long.

"ugh! fine! couldnt you have asked earlier?" jongho snaps. "im guessing you need soccer for a sports scholarship too, huh? you wont get into any schools if you suck ass by the way."

i can just picture san's clenched jaw as he holds himself together around jongho. i hear their voices fade and steps grow further away. i stuff the camera and watch into my bag and sprint out and make my way around the school buildings. now i can jump the fence on the other side of the field.

i call san instantly when im alone, looking around for any security. he picks up on the first ring. "hey, im at the fence we jumped after detention. the bus stop is somewhere nearby here."

"okay okay mom, I'll be home right now," san says into the phone and im guessing hes making an excuse to get away from jongho now.

its funny how everything plays out. san gets to me within a few minutes and his face is red with stress. i hold my laugh in.

"next time YOU be the lookout," he says with a scowl and it makes me burst out into laughter.

"i thought you could lie better than that!" i nearly double over from chuckles. "you shouldve heard yourself. seriously youre a criminal and thats how you lie?"

"oh shut it. he wouldve seen you!"

san's angry face is really so adorable. he expects me to take him seriously like this?

"you should have hit him over the head instead," i sigh. "we couldve made him believe everything was a dream."

we jump the fence and end up catching the bus somewhere near my neighbourhood. the entire bus is empty, and san is on the verge of falling asleep, leaning his head against the window. im severely bored and decide to take the camera out to inspect the specs.

its such a good camera. i dont know a lot about cameras but i know by the brand its quality. i wonder which soccer guy has this hobby. maybe he wants to be a professional photographer.

i open the existing pictures and find random pictures of cars, birds, sunsets, and aesthetic places around the school. theres a folder named "her", so i click on it hoping to see something different.

...pictures of me.

thousands of them.

i feel my face pale, which is wrong on so many levels because im brown as fuck. the first few pictures are of me with a cigarette, smoking on and off campus. theyre from a year ago based on my hair colour. the other pictures are dated from two years ago and theyre filled with me in my school uniform.

the point of view is the part that leaves me cold in my bones. from above, places that cant easily be spotted. random corners capturing me sitting on my phone, bending over...looking around...

thats until i realize the lavender scrunchie in my hair. and the lack of bangs.

these arent just pictures of me. in fact, most of them are my sister.

next chapter

[crossgartered]

P5R Liveblog (17/?)

November 20th

Huh? "The distortion inside that Crystal is still linked to distortion somewhere else"?

...is this a plot thing, or is it because I usually have sent the calling card by the time I go to Mementos

Oh, now it's flu season. Well, I'll save reaper farming for ng+. It doesn't look like I'll be able to max all the social links until ng+, too, but that's to be expected, honestly. I made some mistakes.

Still, I'm doing pretty well. Either I'm close to maxing someone or else I've practically never hung out with them. And I'll be able to max out Kawakami before I'm not able to go to school, so that's great.

Priestess 6, Empress 1, Emperor maxed, Hierophant maxed, Lovers 8, Chariot maxed, Justice 8, Hermit 8, Fortune 9, Strength 9, Hanged Man 1, Death 5, Temperance 9, Devil 3, Tower 2, Star 8, Moon maxed, Sun maxed, Faith maxed, Councillor 9.

And I'm pretty sure the Justice & Councillor need more plot to happen before they can progress.

I still can't believe that Kasumi is just gonna randomly show up in the casino after all this. Can't wait to figure out what she's doing.

I hate turning down the girls. It's like, 'So why are you so nice to me?'

'Because we're teammates' or 'Because I love you' like NO IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS AND I LIKE YOU GODDAMMIT

*sigh*

I think I heard her heart shatter. I'm sorry, Futaba. It might have given me an 'are you sure' option but I couldn't take that chance.

OH THANK YOU PHONE CALL CONTENT

I was able to tell her that she was a true friend ^u^ ...of course, that only gave 2 points, so I'm guessing 'partner' or 'key item' would have worked better, but still. I can express my platonic affection.

WHAT IS THIS SPECIAL BOND READING OMG????? THIS IS AMAZING

Oh, good! They did add variety to Haru's plants

I am. Third-wheeling to the extreme here. How do people manage to date Ann.

Can I PLEASE not be a dick to girls I am not trying to date. Can I PLEASE say 'you have us, your friends' or 'Youre not alone' or something that does not imply you will not be there for her while still not dating her?? Especially since you're going to be leaving soon, too.

Ohya or billiards, Ohya or billiards...

YES FINALLY. Hello, Kasumi. Please talk to me.

Kasumi...

YO I CAN MAX FUTABA

THAT POOR PRIEST LOL

Wait I was going to go to untouchable

Whoops

MARUKI NO

Oh god fucking damn it this is going to be just like the cookie thing

Lol your glasses got all fogged up. They even have a sprite for it

BOTH OF THEM COULDNT SEE I LOVE THIS

FUCK HE KNOWS

Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

Seriously? Back in April?

Man, the Shibuya thing for Kaneshiro feels so foolish and ridiculous. We just literally disappeared into thin air, huh. And I though it might at least be someone who was deliberately watching for us who would see us, but that's not even true here. Guh.

OH MY GOD WE EVEN SAW HIM HUH

Well, great. I feel used.

He was pretty honest about wanting my help but. Ugh.

Maruki, I feel like you're going to flip your shit over the course of the next few days. I wonder if...

Hmm. Well. Onward.

Ah, I figured this was going to be the max rank with him.

Were you going to ask for my wish, Maruki?

LMAO RYUJI "ain't this place always empty though?" "I'm telling Boss." OAO HIS MODEL CHANGED.

Have I never chosen that option before or have I just never noticed

Ahhhh the hypest part of the game. I'm super psyched

MAKING CURRY INCREASES MY GUTS???!?!?

IT'S SHOWTIME

Ooh~ the roulette panels changed : 3

OH MAN I TOTALLY FORGOT TO TETRAJA THANK YOU FUTABA I AM SO GLAD I MAXED YOU

Aww. One more move and Makoto would have been the one to deal the last blow.

"THOSE GUYS IN BLACK SUITS ARE ALMOST HERE"

Huh, so Futaba can see a bunch of Shadows in police uniforms. Interesting.

Ryuji...! Thank you for your faith in me. I definitely will do my best not to die. ;U;

MAN I LOVE KNOWING THE REVEAL ALL OF THIS IS SO GOOD

I'm curious if the original plan was to take them all or just Joker. I wonder if the counterplan actually saved everyone from getting arrested and/or killed

Ah, to see how 'boyish voice' turns into 'Morgana', and all the rest

NOBODY ASKED YOU, INARI

ARSENE...!

I wonder why, from a Watsonian perspective, he comes back.

I wonder if we ever told the others about Kasumi

Oh, man, in hindsight, her coming to the casino Palace was actually really dangerous for her! Esp if Crow heard Futaba wtfing at her being there. Puts a target on her back, it does

??? I can still use my party's skills, even though I'm alone right now?

I still don't understand the logistics of this takedown. Ah well.

KASUMI WHY ARE YOU /HERE/

Did we plan this? Did I tell you /anything/ about the situation KASUMI WHY ARE YOU HERE

Nope sae never heard of them I have been the only phantom thief I have been by myself the whole time I am alone in this room right now

I sure do! And I know that you're lying to me! And that I have a big heart full of love for my friends! I'm not gonna sell anyone out. Glad that we've established that.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I love that whole everything.

I was riveted for a solid chunk of that. I remember the first time I played I was practically yelling at the screen and I had wanted to skip past the bits with the SIU director and all that bc I wanted to know what had happened to the protagonist and what was going to happen with Sae

Like, did I mess up??? Oh my god the eyes are open and there's blood and where would you even put the squib??? I was trying to figure out if I had chosen wrong and stuff.

When I played p4 for the first time, I got one of the responses to Yosuke wrong. I had said something about the window instead of vaguely saying that there's something bc I thought, well, why would he be trying to escape from the window instead of through the TV?? But he just got angry at me : ( and then I got the """normal ending""" which. yeah. and so then I reloaded and went through all that again. ...It was really frustrating.

Anyway.

MAN IT'S SO SATISFYING. The casino palace and its aftermath is really satisfying. The villains then deciding to be cartoonishly evil is a bit of a detractor but otherwise! Very cool.

And man the music is so good. Whims of Fate. Life Will Change, with lyrics! It's good stuff. I love the persona 5 music. although lbr persona music in general is AMAZING. i have playlists with just persona music it’s good good stuff

[ancanosaur]

•Without a shadow of a doubt•

Chapter one: A Temple of Memories.

The temple was building of old creaks and sounds that echoed through the halls in the night. Despite their past reputation and the swollowing cold that surrounded their temple, the Lin Kuei had welcomed you with great open arms and the warmth of family.

You don't remember much of what happened. You remember the roaring engine and slashing blades of a helicopter. The wind was warm on your cheeks, the sky giving off a golden glow of orange that signaled dayligh'ts final hours. Your body ached, temples were throbbing. "We're in the clear General, mission accomplished." A woman's voice spoke over you, your (E/C) orbs searched up, finding a blonde looking down at you. "Don't worry, we got you." She smiled softly. Her eyes were an ocean blue and filled with hope. "Cassie." A man's voice was heard, making the blonde look up at an older man, his hair a light brown with a bit of salt and pepper in the sides. "Let's get them hooked up." He said.

You suddenly felt your body lift from the ground and onto what felt like a hospital bed, your finger tips finding soft thin sheets as the buckles around your waist were tightened, a soft prick in your arm made you give a gasp of weak air, looking over to see the man placing an IV needle in your arm and sticking a bit of tape over it, keeping it in place. "Sorry kid, gotta keep you alive and hydrated." He patted your shoulder, giving a smile. "It's good to have you back." He said finally. "Let's head out, Jacquie!" Cassie called to the front of the copter.

That's all you could remember. Besides landing at base and being greeted by many smiling faces. The ones that rescued you saying that they were close friends and teammates of yours. You thought back to their happy faces, sitting around you in the hospital room. They all said that you were all close, the best of friends, and yet you couldn't think of their names. Their features all gained a veil of grief as you shook your head at them. The older man spoke up as the youngers went qiuet. "That's okay Y/N." He gave a smile. "You just get a chance to get to know us all over again." It gave the others a bit of hope.

A knock at the door pulled you out of your thoughts. You sat up from your spot on the bed and quickly made your way over to slide open the door seeing a young woman's face. "Frost." You gave a smile. She returned it in more of a small smirk. "I brought you dinner." The snowy haired girl spoke, holding up a trey of steaming food. You gave her a gracious smile, taking the trey from her and allowing her in as you sat the trey down on the dark wood of your night stand. "So when are you going to get back to helping me with the kiddies?" She said, her bare feet making icey patches on the stone floor. "You're bothered." You meet her cool blue eyes as you sat on the bed. Frost looked at you for a moment before letting out a chilling sigh, the air from her lungs thick and smokey as she took a seat beside you. "Grandmaster send me, wanting to know are you're doing and everything," Her posture was hung low, her arms crossed over her knees. "See if you remember anything."

The food on your night stand still smoked with freshness as you eyed it. You looked back at Frost, trying to find the words. You wanted to be truthful. But another part of you simply wanted to tell her the things she and the Grandmaster wanted to hear. "You don't eat as much as you should." She commented, seeing you just looking at the plate of meat and vegetables seeming unbothered.

"I just feel like i dont need it." You answered after a moment, moving your gaze to the cold tile floors. "Well, you do." The Cryomancer said in a caring yet slightly forceful way, something that was just part of Frost's charm. She see's your jaw clenched for just a moment. "It would hurt a lot of people's feelings if you starved to death." She nudge you, making you gain a low smile for just a moment.

You wish you could remember being apart of the clan and the your team, you wish you jad those memories. But you simply didnt. "Ill feed you if you dont eat." Frost finally said. That made you shake your head and give in with a smile. "Alright, alright." You pulled the trey into your lap, picking up the spoon and stirring around the small bowl of stew that was on the side before taking a bite. "There, now we can keep you." She gave a smile.

You finished your plate and sat it to the side. You and Frost had began talking about the temple gossip that you had apparently missed. Like that one of the guards, Tao had the hots for a Shiria Ryu memeber that always came with Master Hasashi for sparring training, she said his name was Atomu and that you should ask Takeda about him once you join back up with your SF team.

"Frost?" You ask after a moment of silence between the two of you. "Hm?" She looked up at you. "What..." you puased, unsure of how to really word the question. "What happened to me?" You looked at her, metting her gaze.

Frost's shoulders tighted up for a moment before loosening g up again. Her crystal eyes looking to the grey brick of the floor for a moment like she was hoping the carving in the tile would answer for her.

"You died."

She finally answered, and you felt dizzy for a moment. "I-i what?" You looked at her, "Frost, i couldnt have. Im right-" "here. You're here now." She looked at you firmly. "And thats all that matters." She let out an irritated huff but her sharp features began to soften as she looked back at you.

You just sat there, looking at the ground. Chewing on your lips like gum. "How?" You finally asked, not meeting her eyes. "You," she looked down at her hands, picking at her nails, a nervous habbit of hers. "Were with your team, everything was going smoothly and then an ambush happened." She sighed. "You took a knife and...that was that." She said abruptly, not wanting to talking about the details.

Your fingers were clutched tightly into the bed below you, the world feeling like it was spinning around you, until a hand found your shoulder. "But we got you back." Frost said, her grip firm on you. "That's all we wanted."

Time passed and Frost had left you for the night. The wool blankets wrapped around keeping you warm as you begin to drift to sleep, the candle at your bedside still burning.

Everything was nothing but pitch black around you, your body was just a drift in nothingness, it was warm nor cold. Just nothing until a pair of large hands found their way to gripp your arms, seeming to hold you in place in this endless darkness. You're eyes were open, but they saw nothing in this dark place as the hands traveled up, sliding against your skin and up to hold your face. "A lost little spirit..." the voice was deep, yet it echoed like the hissings of snakes. You felt fingers run through your hair and tilt your face to the side. "I'll take you in..." the voice whispered.

You sat up in your bed, letting out a gasp as if you had been under water. Your hand found your heaving chest, your heart desperately trying to escape your ribcage as it pounded against your sternum.

You looked around your small dark room, recognizing it as yours, aiding you in calming from your dream. You let out a deep sigh, closing your eyes for just a moment before the smell of smoke caught your attention.

The candle that was one lit was now out and it was still smoking as if it had just been blown out. You eyed it for a moment, until you were able to tell yourself that your sudden movment from waking up had blown the candle out. You shook your head. It was just a dream, a weird dream that had left you with this chill of familiarity. But a dream nonetheless.

You sank back down in your bed, until you felt something cold on the side of your face, making you feel for whatever it was against your skin. You lifted you hand up into the moon light to see somthing dark on your fingertips making you jump and rush over into the bathroom, flipping the switch on, thinking you were going to see the crimson red of blood once you looked in the mirror. But what you saw made you shiver. A Jet black hand print was perfectly framed against your jawline, the thumb was smeared as it had been rubbing against your cheek.

You didnt know what to think or do, so you simply grabbed a wash cloth, turning the water on in the sink and soaking the cloth til it was dripping and looked back up into the mirror to wash the hand print away only to see it already disappeared.

You dropped the cloth into the water, backing up into the wall giving a shaking sigh with your hands to your head. Maybe you were losing it? Maybe you were slowly dying again. Maybe- you took a deep breath. Remembering what Grandmaster had taught you, 'In a time of storm, find a shelter. In the time of doubt find hope.' You took a few deep breaths. 'In a time of panic, find peace.' You gained control of your breathing, calming your racing heart. Being thankful for your master's words.

Then a thought popped into your mind. If there was anyone to talk to about this, anyone who would have knowledge about life after death, it's him.

You flipped the light switch off, casting the room back into darkness once more as you made your way back under your sheets. It was decided then. You would speak to him first thing in the morning.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I hope you guys like the first chapter. I wanted this to be kind of a Slowish kind of burn maybe. We'll see. We get to talk to Subby in the next chapter so that should be fun :) and like let me know if you want a smut chapter because lmao idk tell me

Ill also start working on other characters i wanna write for becuase theres a big lack in MK reader inserts my doods. I feel like this chapter is a bit rough, but i havent written a full length fic like this in a hot minutes. So hopefully it'll get better. And all fics i write and will write are gender neutral reader becuase like all genders have the right to fuck hot shadow wraiths and that's just tea☕

Please forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes!

-Onyx♤

[neverheardnothing]

what the hell will winston (and the rest of the tmc gang) even DO while working at axe cap? because axe cap clearly does NOT want quants since axe scrapped the whole team as soon as he came back.

im kinda assuming that it’s just the main 5 of them going to work at the axe cap offices for now. how does axe respond to this? the deal he made was for taylor to come work at axe cap again for a while. he really only wants taylor there. he couldnt give less of a shit about the others (well, he wants revenge on mafee). so what does he do with sara, lauren, and winston?

does winston get absorbed into their IT department? like that poor dude who got yelled at a lot when the power went out at axe cap? that’s not really his specialty though, so i cant imagine him actually going there. or does no one really notice that he’s there and so he just sits around all day and pretends he’s working, but really he’s just dicking around on reddit or working on his own projects. he just tries to keep his head down and blend into all the faceless employees at axe cap before they realize that he’s not actually doing anything all day. what about the rest of the quant team at tmc? what are they doing? in fact, what are all of the rest of the employees at tmc doing? are they also coming along to work at axe cap and we just didn’t see them there initially, or are they all back at the tmc offices just hanging around and continuing to work there. can axe cap fit all these sudden new employees arriving? how many people work at tmc? i have so many questions. back to assuming only the 5 of them go to axe cap.

or maybe the fact that winston is a quant is like a Known Fact and so all the traders at axe cap are wary of him because hes the Guy Who’s Gonna Take Their Jobs. and on the outside his personality is very brash and there’s a lot of bravado there so i can see some of them (not like dollar bill or bonnie lmao) being scared of him initially. ben kim is probably scared of winston lmao. his freakout to wendy about how he should have listened to his mom and learned how to code is coming back now that there’s an actual person here working at axe cap who is the Future of what his job will be. dollar bill and bonnie probably threaten to break his nose in or something while also very lowkey being scared.

back to everyones jobs...

lauren’s job seems pretty relevant. investor relations is important for hedge funds probably and i assume they can always use more people in that department, especially since i dont think we’ve seen anyone there before from axe cap. and if lauren is as good at it as she seems to be, then they would probably really like to use her. though would they trust her to interact with investors since she is the Enemy tm? i dont think they would want someone that hates them to be the person interacting with their investors, especially since the last time that happened, taylor walked away with billions in money from investors that were supposed to be investing in axe cap. theyre not gonna let that happen again anytime soon. maybe axe thinks the pressure of what he “has” on taylor will be enough to keep lauren in line, but still. axe has no idea what lauren could be saying to his investors. 

sara, however, what the hell is sara doing? her job is chief operating officer. which is the same title as wags, but at axe cap taylor will have no real power like they did before, so sara definitely wont either. i honestly have no IDEA what sara could be doing at axe cap tbh. thats her entire section. ive got nothing. please let me know if you think of something.

mafee has a job! he goes back to what he was doing before, but now he’s like the least popular guy in the room. except to ben kim. he’s fucking over the moon that mafee is back as we saw at the end of s4. number of traders at axe cap with even the slightest trace of morals: 2 again. i assume he and ben hang out a decent amount at work now, especially since i dont think anyone else would want to be around mafee because of the whole traitor thing. (ps how the fuck is the interaction between mafee and wendy after that whole “youre a garbage person” thing?)

ben doesnt seem to be the kind to care about his “social standing” within the company falling because he’s hanging out with mafee. i mean he gives a friendly hi to the two least popular people in the room at the moment of Highest Tension. he does NOT give a fuck. i assume winston probably also hangs out a decent amount around mafee because that’s the only other tmc person who is In The Office on the ground floor (since lauren’s job is kinda.. talking to people Outside of the office and taylor is off upstairs making those Brilliant Taylor Ideas with their big brain and being forced to hang with axe. maybe sara is also around there i guess, but she doesnt seem to be the kind to just.. hang about). but anyways this is a prime opportunity for winston and ben kim to interact, im just saying @ brian koppelman and david levien. ben is probably a lil bit scared of winston in the beginning since u know. thats his job taker right there, but he warms up to winston eventually. this isnt a benston post, ill move on now. 

(just kidding. im not done. i know the popular benston thing is that theyve secretly been dating all this time but imagine them meeting for the first time at axe cap in s5. ben and mafee are eating lunch together (acai bowls prob lmao) or something and winston just drops in, kicks his feet up on the table (mafee rolls his eyes) and casually says hi. ben on the inside is all like Ah Shit That’s The Quant Dude because he’s totally been avoiding winston up till now, but the dude is sitting across the table from him he can’t just not acknowledge him. or possibly ben has the opposite reaction. he’s grown a bit of a backbone since the last time quants were brought up. makes a show of not being scared of winston but also not being an ass to him, which makes winston respect him since everyone else here has been pretty hostile to him so far. i think winston probably has a good impression of ben because he was nice to taylor and mafee at the end of s4 and the fact that he and mafee are hanging around, so he must not be That Bad. and winston doesn’t seem to be very into the axe vs taylor rivalry (re the whole comp rant) so he probably won’t hate someone just because they work for axe cap. anyways this is the beginning of their long and healthy relationship. benston endgame yall.)

does wags remember winston? he must. that was quite an Impression he made during his interview. what are his interactions with wags like, if any? is winston all snarky like “ha, you passed on hiring me but im here anyways, fuck you” or is he wary around wags because he’s still thinking about how he got Destroyed in that interview. i dont think the walk of shame out of the building must have been something he forgot quickly. i think wags would be quick to call out winston if he weren’t doing anything while at axe cap. the interaction would probably go something like this: “ur not doing any goddamn work.” “yeah i know, u guys dont want quants, what am i gonna do?” “well, figure something out” (implied or else there). winston quickly figures something out. probably automates some stuff for them or something.

also, do people in general remember him as the guy who was REAL happy after the boxing match? i mean he kinda made a big scene. he was cheering and yelling and screaming “i won!! i motherfucking won!!” after everyone else was sitting around dejectedly because their team lost and they lost money. you have to remember that Weird Guy having a blast after everyone in the room is upset. do they seem him walk in at axe cap and go “ah, that fuckin weirdo.”

god, examining any aspect of billions for more than 3 seconds makes you realize how much of a disaster everything is. id definitely watch a show that’s just the office dynamics at axe cap now that the tmc gang is there. lord knows itd be more interesting than what’s been happening in the show up until now.

[jihopi-remade]

tagged by @04pluto (ily ♥) to answer some questions about myself

nickname: el, preferably, but i have many nicknames

zodiac: leo sun, gemini moon, who the hell knows what rising everyone already hates me for the first two anyway lmao

height: 5′9

age: 22 on aug 9

time: 12:10 am

fave bands/artists: bts, bigbang, exo, 2ne1, bap, vance joy, sam smith, ed sheeran, hozier, harry styles, watsky, nf, mumford & sons, qveen herby, post malone, tbh i’ll never stop if not now

song stuck in my head: dynasty by miia and im emo as fuckin hell

last movie i watched: oh god, i havent been watching movies lately. i cant even remember.

last thing i googled: tsukishima x kuroo bc i couldnt remember kuroo’s name and knew i’d find it by typing ‘tsukishima x’ skdjfkj

other blogs: i have a score of other blogs tbh but i barely use them and dont rly wanna just publicly link them?? if ur a mutual n wanna know u can mssg me.

do i get asks?: ive gotten 1 ask since making this blog 3 weeks ago and it was someone saying they were tempted to unfollow me SO thats a no lmao

why i chose my username?: bc all the Good urls are taken and i love jimin and hobi. plus everyone kept thinking i was a tae stan with my taehob url.

following: 515

average amount of sleep: it varies from like 5-9 hrs

lucky number: ive always liked 9 but maybe thats bc it’s my day of birth

what am i wearing: honestly??? ...... a fuckin mini mouse pajama shirt with marvel pajama bottoms bc i didnt feel like looking through my clothes to find the matching piece of either set

dream job: successful poet / psychotherapist

dream trip: im easy to please and love to travel so like anywheres fine. though esp id like to travel to wherever my friends and mutuals are :( ♥

play any instruments: i can play piano, but i don’t claim i can play it well

fave song: i dont really have one, but dont worry be happy and dave matthews band version of cortez the killer have special places in my heart.

play any sport: wii sports (rly casual family games of volleyball and badminton is the closest ill ever get to playing sports)

hair colour: red rn, brown naturally

eye colour: hazel/green ?? it depends on who you ask tbh hazel seems to be a disputed eye color

most iconic song: the most iconic song of my childhood

language(s) you speak: english only bc im a dumb bitch who cant force herself to actually study

random fact: when i was like 10 i had a cousin in puerto rico who looked a lot like me but darker. ive never met her and tbh i still think about this like ... whats she look like now....

describe yourself as aesthetics: music coming from another room, sunlight on skin, wildflowers blowing in the breeze, telling ghost stories in the dark // lightning storms at night, sad words scribbled in odd places, sleeping close to the person you love, glow in the dark stars on the ceiling

tagging @agusth0e @crossroadswrite @izbelles @taetaez @honeystae @jooncafes @mygjhs @ktheaven @jijkooks @hibiscous @taehyunger @min-yungii @lesbianhoseok @selsouth if you wanna :)

[sanhatation]

kdrama tag 😎

i was tagged by @parkminhyuk @r0ckyswag & @myunghjun thank u guys sm ily!!!!!

Kdramas I’ve finished: i hate myself

*favorites/recommendations!!!

to the beautiful you (the very first....iconic.......the reason i got into shinee too 😔💞)

boys over flowers

playful kiss

shut up flower boyband*

my love from another star*

it’s okay that’s love

heirs

hi school love on* (I CAN HONESTLY THANK THIS ONE FOR INTRODUCING ME TO SAERON AND INDIRECTLY INTRODUCING ME TO TBC AND THEREFORE ASTRO GOD BLESS !)

my loveable girl (this is the worst drama ive Ever watched and my sister & i only finished it for L)

reply 1997*

you’re beautiful (second worst drama ive ever watched . if u watch just one episode u will understand why)

salamander guru* (ICONIC)

dream high

dream high 2

kpop extreme survival

doctor stranger

dream knight

pinocchio*

EXO next door  

gu family book

the moon that embraced the sun*

modern farmer  

to be continued********  

she was pretty*

sassy go go

flower boy next door

noble my love

because it's the first time

high end crush

while you were sleeping*

i’m not a robot

legend of the blue sea*

click your heart (im gonna count this one even tho ive never watched the episodes besides rowoon’s path lmao) 

moorim school* (hongbin’s character deserved better but anyway)

weightlifting fairy*

strong woman do bong soon**

the best hit

my shy boss

shopping king louie*

9 seconds eternal time

choco bank

moonlight drawn by clouds (???? i actually can’t remember if i finished this idk man things have been WEIRD ever since i found out bo gum is in a cult or smth WHACKED FGDJDJS)

nightmare high (this one was so bad but so entertaining......)

spark 

angel eyes

one more time

part time idol (lmaoooo a guilty pleasure)

Incomplete Kdrama List: 

im literally not doing this section because its at least 3x the length of my finished dramas list

but right now im watching the great seducer !! 

also im making it Clear before anyone tries to recommend these to me. i have started both goblin and descendants of the sun and did not like either FJDJSJSJ ok so anyway I WANTED TO LIKE DOTS SO MUCH BC ONEW BUT ..........I COULDNT

K-movies I’ve Watched:

the werewolf boy*

200 pounds beauty (entertaining..? but also has a poor message ...? soundtrack is bangin tho ://// )

pure love (????? this movie had NO business being that sad) 

miracle in cell no. 7*

back to 20

the pianist (i have no recollection of this movie anD I JUST LOOKED IT UP FJDFKDS minho was the lead thats why i watched it. good stuff its all coming back to me) 

train to busan

Watch List:

i have nothing im still trying to find one to entertain me while i wait for more episodes of the great seducer to come out lmaoo im so tragic BUT if u got recommendations i will take them happily

im going to tag @xuhoon @fourseasonsofastro @blueberrybins @jinjinxed @minhyxks @octahao & @eunwooh  !! hope yall watch dramas and if u dont ur lucky fhsdks

[xanaxtheclown]

Rules: Answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

i made @coffeeandcabeswater​ tag me in this hope you enjoy 

also realise some of these replies sound like they came from an 8 ball so you’re welcome

— What was your last…

1. Drink: water 

2. Phone call: dont call people but i face timed my mum and dad

3. Text message: Now? x (confirming said face time with my mum)

4. Song you listened to: just a stranger by kali uchis feat steve lacy 

5.Time you cried: not for a while so i can’t actually remember 

— Have you ever…

6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: dont think so

8. Been cheated on: cant be cheated on if you dont date my guy

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: oh all the time 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: unfortunately

— Fave colours

12. navy blue

13. burgundy

14. gold 

— In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yep

16. Fallen out of love: something like that 

17. Laughed until you cried: i think so

18. Found out someone was talking about you: its the teenage experience

19. Met someone who changed you: most of the important people in my life have changed me for the good so yes

20. Found out who your friends are: kind of but i run a tight ship anyway

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: yep

— General

22. How many your Facebook friends do you know irl: all of them apart from randoms i met drunk

24. Do you want to change your name: not at all i like my first name

25. What did you do for your last birthday: had a house party with friends from back home 

26. What time did you wake up today: 1 cause my sleep schedule is terrible

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: not to be boring but probably revision

28. What is something you can’t wait for: just finishing my exams which will be on the 9th may 

29. What is your favourite animal: im gonna say dogs as i own two and am therefore biased

30. What are you listening to right now: say you love me by nakala

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: well i work with one lmao

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: working myself up about my exam tomorrow 

33. Most visited website: tumblr or youtube i guess

34. Hair colour: dark brown/auburn its been dyed a few times

35. Long or short hair: very long as im growing it out

36. Do you have a crush on someone: um whos asking

37. What do you like about yourself: i want to say im compassionate

38. Want any piercings: some more in my ear maybe a cartilage piercing 

39. Blood type: A+ 

40. Nicknames: millie or mills sometimes em

41. Relationship status: single

42. Sign: cancer 

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: i dont watch many but maybe sense8

45. Tattoos: nope

46. Right or left handed: right

47. Ever had surgery: hand surgery a month ago 

48. Piercings: just one piercing in each ear 

49. Sport: yeah i dont fuck with that sorry

50. Vacation: maybe japan?

51. Trainers: i usually wear old skool vans or scuffed adidas trainers its a look

— More General

52. Eating: chocolate cause im stress eating

53. Drinking: still water 

54. I’m about watch: whatevers in my subscriptions

55. Waiting for: this academic year to finally end

56. Want: to work on my mental health 

57. Get married: i think so

58. Career: i couldnt say to be honest perhaps an author 

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: im indifferent 

60. Lips or eyes: you know what both

61. Taller or shorter: probably shorter im 5′8

62. Older or younger: i think older but im not bothered

63. Nice arms or stomach: arms

64. Hookups or relationships: relationship

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant? troublemaker if prompted

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: no

67. Drank hard liquor: yikes lol

68. Turned someone down: yeah

69. Sex on first date: unlikely but if the situation arises 

70. Broken someone’s heart: probably not

71. Had your heart broken: no

72. Been arrested: not yet 

73. Cried when someone died: yes

74. Fallen for a friend: im gay so inevitably

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: hey im trying 

76. Miracles: dont think so

77. Love at first sight: i think you can be infatuated with someone at first sight but im a realist so yeah

78. Santa Claus: im 19 its just not realistic

79. Angels: perhaps

— Misc

80. Eye colour: light green

81. Best friend’s name: hannah lydia and alanna to name a few

82. Favourite movie: i flit through them a lot and will probably kick myself later but atomic blonde because i like charlize theron and the 80s

83. Favourite actor: john boyega probably

84. Favourite cartoon: its an anime but i do enjoy some sailor moon

85. Favourite teacher’s name: im in uni and i barely show up to class so like

[simple-ponderings]

12/10/20

I remember first dreaming about being a mermaid and exploring a dark house with meadow. We were trying to find something but it was so dark so we used flashlights. She smiled at me and ushered me to go in. I went and remembered encountering a dark creature but I wasnt scared. I remember it pushing us out and we reset outside. There was some pink force energy it was using.

I woke up...and then went back to sleep.

The next dream i was at my old job. I was already in uniform. But for some reason I decided to apply again? Yasu was there and he gently patted my cheek giving me a serious look. A look that made me realize I should and could be better.

I asked to re-apply. I was taking life by the balls now. He gave me papers to sign and let me fill out my availability. No interview was needed lmao. I remember seeing angie and a couple others. I told them "wow its so weird, Ive been applying to jobs for almost 3 months now and nothing! But when I come here, almost immediately Im taken in." They all stared at me incredulously and I giggled.

I remember being outside next with mike. We were walking as a couple. It felt like itd be somewhere in the future. I was wearing that pink dress and he wore a white tshitt with khaki shorts. We had a kid. Or maybe it was a kid from another relationship. I think his name was collin. I remember he was really sweet and gentle with collin. When collin got too far mike gently coaxed him back. We were walking and I was telling him about being back at the old job. He knew about it already and was excited.

Something caught my attention and I immediately stopped short. There was a tree whose energy was pulling me in. It was speaking to me. And we were connecting. It felt really surreal...

"Whats wrong?" Mike asked. But I couldnt reply. What was it trying to tell me. Something important? The tree had crosses on it. It was short but it resembled the willow trees I walk by. I stood up and touched its branches. They all sprouted upward like a black poplar. It had leaves beginning to sprout. "But its winter, why are they growing now?" I thought. I wanted to take a picture to find out what type of tree it was. But I only saw myself in the camera. I kept trying to fix it but it wouldnt give. I noted how vibrant and fertile I looked. I looked beautiful.

Mike bent down near me and I piggybacked him. "Have you been excercising?" I asked. His back felt really broad and strong. "Yeah, a little bit. Still wish I could fix my teeth though," he tried to hide his smile. "Thats my favorite part about you. Your smile. Dont change it please."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Collin come back," mike called. Collin was walking away again. I brought him arund and sat him on my lap. He had tears in eyes. He wanted to eat something.

I remember us walking near some construction. They were fixing the road. We got seperated for a bit but looking up I saw this spaceship hovering a few ways from the moon. It was a full one tonight. "Look up there!" I pointed. But by the time people turned it disappeared. However the spaceship dropped down a small blue light in front of me.

I found myself in a small room with others. We had been sleeping on the floor. I had just woken up. My eyes immediately locked with the child called collin. I started tearing up over some realization. So its true.

I woke up.

[accio-infinity-stone]

A Monster Part 2 (Newt Scamander x Reader)

Part 1

Requested by @curiousplanets: ALRIHHT OK IM SO EXCITED NOW. can I have a part two of A Monster? where it's the next full moon and Newt, reader's now boyfriend, insists on helping the reader out through her full moon (idk exactly how lmao) and she is like no no no you will get hurt and there's tears and shit? idk i'm feeling the ANGST. feel free to change part of it to make it flow easier. thanks in advance!

Word Count: 1,514

Warnings: Mentions of injury, self hate, crying.

A/N: I might write a part 3 because DAMN

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

“I want to come with you.” Newt said desperately.

“Absolutely not.” You said firmly. You didn’t know where the newfound confidence came from, perhaps because you and Newt had already had this conversation about a million times.

“Please let me come with you.” He said. You were looking at your feet, unable to look at him. You knew that if you did, you’d end up caving at the sight of his frightfully concerned face. Newt often wasn’t easy to read but he didn’t bother hiding his desperation now. You two were in your shared apartment in London doing something that rarely happened between the two of you, you were arguing.

“Newt, I said no.” You repeated, turning your back to him so you wouldn’t have to see his worried face. You could feel the tears building behind your eyes but you willed them to stay put. You were not going to cry. You wanted to show that you were strong and believed the decision you were making was a good one and tears would just turn you into a mess. They always did. You didn’t need Newt’s pity, you needed him to be safe and him coming with you tonight would most definitely put him in danger.

You and Newt had been dating for three months now and you could see that every full moon took a piece of his heart. He loved you and you loved him, so you knew seeing you in the state you were in after full moons was hard for him. You had, of course, tried telling him that he deserved someone better. Someone who wasn’t broken. Someone who wouldn’t hurt him every month. Someone who wasn’t you. Yet the stubborn magizoologist wouldn’t listen. And here you were again, about to hurt the man you loved.

This month was the first time he had brought this up though. A few weeks before the full moon, he had proposed the idea of coming with you when you transformed. You had told him that it was a firm no and he seemed to accept that, you had thought it was the end of the conversation. Until he brought it up again about a hundred times.

“Y/N, you can’t keep doing this alone. I could come and keep away the dangerous animals, I could come and try to keep you safe.” He begged. You whirled around, incredulity clear on your face. You couldn’t believe him. How could he just stand there, in all his messy haired, loose shirted glory and say that?

“Keep me safe? Me? Who would keep you safe?” You said, your voice getting louder. You couldn’t remember a time when you had yelled at someone. It came as a shock, to both of you. The shy, quiet Y/N suddenly yelling? You couldn’t stop though. How could he say that? You didn’t deserve to be kept safe. You were a monster. Especially when in that state. A monster who wouldn’t think twice about hurting this kind, selfless, curious man.

“I can keep myself safe.” Newt said, his voice still at a normal level, quite unlike yours.

“You can’t keep both of us safe! You can’t be safe. Not from me! Not when I’m like that!” You felt tears streaming down your reddened cheeks. Of course you were crying. Of course you were. The word “weak” kept swimming through your mind. You wanted to run away, to curl up into a ball, to hide yourself from the world.

“I could stay away then. Away but close enough so that when the moon goes down I could help you home.” He argued, taking a step closer. His sudden proximity seemed to put an immediate damper on your anger. You now just stood there in silence as tears streamed down your face, looking at the ground. You hated arguing with him. It rarely happened but when it did, you couldn’t stand it. Newt noticed your silence and walked closer to you until you were staring at his bare feet instead of the ground.

He tentatively lifted your chin slightly so you would look into his bright green eyes. Newt normally refrained from making eye contact with people but with you, he felt safe to do it. You closed your eyes and leaned your forehead against his, savouring his touch, his scent, his love.

“I love you, Newt.” You whispered, eyes still closed. You didn’t dare talk louder in fear that your voice would break.

“I love you too, Y/N” He responded.

“Do you really love me?” You asked. You felt his forehead crease against yours, in worry most likely. Clenching your eyes tighter, you pursed your lips to keep from sobbing.

“I really love you.” He said. You opened your eyes finally, to find his, still wide, and resting upon yours unwaveringly. So much emotion filled those beautiful green eyes, you couldn’t look away.

“Then let me do this alone.” You whispered. Silver lined his eyes as he took a shaky breath.

“I have, Y/N, you have been doing this alone since you were bitten.” He said. You flinched at that word. Newt noticed this, he noticed everything. “Y/N, I love you and I cannot keep seeing you come home bleeding and bruised.” You pulled away from him, turning around so he couldn’t see your face.

“Is that really why you want to come?” You asked. This thought had been nagging at you since you got together. You wanted to dismiss it as absurd but why else would he be with you? Why else would he deal with all the issues and problems you bring?

“What do you mean?” He asked tentatively, not quite liking the new tone in your voice.

“Do you want to come to keep me safe? Are you with me because you love me? Or do you just want to study me?” You finally said it, the thought that had been eating away at you since the beginning.

Silence. He wasn’t answering. How long has it been since you asked the question? 10 seconds, 11 seconds, 12, 13. Why wasn’t he answering? Dread filled your stomach, maybe you were right. Maybe this horrible thought was true. You felt the lunch you and Newt had shared an hour ago coming up. You couldn’t take it anymore, you turned around slowly to face him.

If your lunch wasn’t rising before, it definitely was now. The sight before you brought on a new wave of tears, it felt as if one of Newt’s creatures had slashed right across your heart. Tears were flowing down Newt’s face, you had seen him show emotion before but never so raw. All of his walls were down, everything now stood so clearly before you. It was hurt that you saw.

Hurt that pushed down his slumped shoulders, that darkened his bright eyes, that covered his kind face. You were stupid. So, so stupid. You were frozen, frozen in shock or guilt, you didn’t know. The two of you simply stood, gazing at each other with such thick emotion hanging in the air, freezing you in place.

His broken, shaky breath was what snapped you from your paralysis. You scrambled to get closer to him, to comfort him, but he took a step back. A step away from you. You couldn’t help but gasp. What have you done? Newt was always the one that cared and loved you no matter what. The one who would take one step closer to you when everyone else took two steps back. And you had doubted him, doubted his feelings for you. You were a monster.

“Newt, I’m sorry.” You said, staying where you were. He needed space and you would respect that. No matter how hard you had to restrain yourself to not run up to him, to not throw your arms around his tall frame, to not say I love you as many times as humanly possible. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I love you. Please, Newt, I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Then why…then why did you?” He asked, no resentment or anger in the question just pain and sadness. A sob escaped your lips as you furiously tried to wipe your tears away.

“I-I don’t know. I just-I was too afraid that it might be true because what reason could there possibly be for someone like you to love someone like me. I’m a mistake and a complication and I’m sorry, Newt.” You cried, your words tumbling out of you in a pitiful mess. “I’m sorry.” You were shaking now, there were too many emotions running through your bones.

Panic at the inevitable pain that was drawing near, hate at yourself for everything you had done, guilt at what you had said to Newt and fear, fear that you may have actually screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to you. Before either of you could say anything else…

You ran.

You ran and you cried and you whispered one word to yourself, over and over and over again.

“Monster.”

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Hey! Would you look at that, I’m not dead! And I finally wrote/finished something. Honestly, I don’t even know why anyone follows me, I’m so inconsistent. Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this. I don’t know who I feel more bad for, Newt or the reader. I hope you enjoyed and as always, constructive criticism is welcome.

K LOVE YOU BYE!

[springtaesarchive]

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST FRIEND, MY WIFE, MY WENCH, MY UGLIE , SOMETIMES UR THE BEST THING THTS EVER HAPPENED 2 ME BUT OTHER TIMES UR  RLY UGLIE BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY I CANT BELIEVE WE MADE IT 2 THIS DAY 

Happy birthday ellie omg ur 18 now remember when u were only 15..?? 16?? when we  met.. it’s like 1 am i don’t wanna do the math just fucking remember for the both of us, anyways why don’t u have more favs for my to gif i was strugglin 4 days to think of somethin like ppl that ACtually matter to u dnt be like “u already kno aye!!!” BC GUESS WHT U ONLY HAVE LIKE 4 PPL U ACTUALLY LIKE ok moving on, if  u would carefully .. click read more nd read ur birthday note i would greatly appreciate it thanks binch ! there may be typos but u kno thts how i am so 

first of all happy birthday again ur 18 u kno what that means U CANT SAY IM A MINOR ANYMORE SO I’VE WAITED for this day to come .. for so long.. someone’s gonna look at this message and be like why the fuck were u waiting for ellie to turn 18 ?? dont worry bout it .. me nd ellie have our own issues nd i’m not .. out here tryna... be weird ok america ? clam down anyway :((( ur 18 wow i rlly didnt think this day would come, let alone me making it not to be sad nd all bc u kno everyone leaves but u didnt nd i love u for it but also this is ur day so ?? what is the purpose of bein sad over flakey ass bitches that don’t deeserve your attetnion or time? ur love ?? guess wasnt enough ??? ur probably one of the nicest people i know that will be so quick to jump to someone’s help when they need it but people i guess aren’t the same to do the same and that’s the worst part bc PPL ARE BITCHE SGOD IT’S 2:35 AM ND I WAITED TOO LATE TO DO THIS I HAD 5 HOURS TO DO THIS ND NOW IM RUSHING UR MESSAGE IUFSDJKMGDF i’ll makeit in time anyway, moving on  as i was saying a lot of people don’t rlly deserve u as a friend  , when someone gives u the most i think some ppl should take that as a thank u bc ?? wtf u dont know what’s good until they lose u AND THAT’S A FACT LET ME TELL U PPL WILL REGRET DOIN THINGS TO U ELLIE anyway wish we were closer so we can hang out but that’s ... that’s just life i guess, can’t see u .. ur just a concept ... then again if we were close you’d be fighting w me like.. every day so maybe it is a good concept that ur not close but at the time time would be nice to hug my best friend on her birthday!!! nd take her out!!!! surprise her with things!!! bc im a great friend!!!! maybe not pay for ur food bc im broke after the gift i just got u , im so broke i couldn’t even afford the gift bag nd i twas only 3 dollars extra omg fun fact i was going to get u that japanese candy u got for me but the mango flavor i hope it was the right one but it would arrive like 4 weeks later ndi was not havin tthat like okay japan couldnt u be faster?? ur close to the side of america where u live so what ?? is the point annyway  i got distracted so it’s ur bday weekend i hope u get high as ur 18th birthday gift WITH RESPONSIBLE FRIENDS DONT BE GOIN W STRANGERS WHO’VE BEEN TRYNA GET WITH U SINCE JUNIOR YEAR BTCH TF DONT TRUST MEN  WE WENT OVER THIS anyway yeah, tell me how ur experience goes. um time to get mushy so like if u cry then great if u dont then .. fuck u , so like have i told u how much u mean to me as a person and as a friend , as a person bc ur kindness rlly inspires me to be kind, ur savage.. side makes me want to die but thats another story, i think the best part of u is how u have the kindest soul i’ve ever met out of everyone i’ve ever met nd if we ever stop bein friends in the future i think thts whats gonn hurt tht most tht the fac ti wont ever be able to be with someone who just makes me happy even w one word u could be like hey fathead nd i’d be like heart eyes bc u k no ?? u make me happy nd ur like cool, u got a cool aura that surrounds u as a person , a shame some people rlly take advantage of that but let me tell u they wont ever meet someone like u , it’s a shame rlly !!! um also as a person im sry tht i ever like was jealous of u ...... i mean ur not htat cool idk what i was jealous of :/ kinda wild that 4/5 years later tht the binch who i thought was stealin tien from meme turned out ot be one o fmy best friends im laughing so hard to myself right now whtegjdkmgf anyways remember how u said i dont write u love letters anymore so here’s one dont SAY I DONT anymore bc here’s one right NOW

dear ellie,

roses are red, violets are blue, there’s no star in the universe that shines as bright as you

dear ellie,

it’s your birthday, that means cake

dear ellie, 

sometimes birds chirp in the morning sometimes they dont they definitley dont when they see ur face

dear ellie,

even the moon is shy of u

dear ellie, 

mahal kita <3

i’m just waiting for three am to hit i JUST WANT TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND GO TO BED GOD WHY IS TIME GOING SO SLOW

anyway to end off this letter i had a clever ending but i got sad it’s only 2:45 nd my mind is tired nd now i forgot but um fun fact i was going to make u a nice video edit <3 i had all my clips chosen, i had an idea ot make like a gag reel nd i was going to do the voice overs but i rlly .. got lazy nd did like five seconds IDJFSKGMD LMAO ANYWAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIELELELLELEL

MY RYAN 

MY JOE BC  IM DEF CASPER

MY ROSE

MY JENNIE

MY TAE

MY MAX 2 MY  NEV

MY NOLEE

MY MARIA

ND MORE 2 ADD AS WE GROW

CLICK EVERYTHING IN THIS ORDER OR ELSE u ruined my flow  x x x

[igot7idiot7]

Senior Year

Chapter 10: It’s Almost Halloween

Ch.1 // Ch. 5 // Ch. 9

Wonwoo x Reader x Mingyu

Genre: slice of life

Words: 1056

Warnings: theres a lot of cussing but its funny cussing this time

Summary: It's almost Halloween. All my friends are wondering what they're gonna be.

A/N: haha sorry i took forever rip ily. also sorry its hella stupid, i couldnt pull some funny shit out of my ass this time around. but eh i like halloween so lmao enjoy

Sunday, October 30, 2016

    Mingyu danced through the halls of Party City. His smile reached ear to ear, and his eyebrows wiggled as he looked through the costumes. The bright lights made his hair glisten with every step he took. 

    “Listen, I all I wanted to do was hand out candy. I didn’t sign up for this Gyu.” You had your hand on your hip as you sipped down the mocha he bought you. He had drank his hot chocolate in under a minute, complaining about his burnt tongue immediately afterwards. You didn’t have any sympathy for him. 

    “At least he bought us coffee.” Wonwoo brushed passed you, a smirk starting to spread across his lips. “Besides, we could wear matching costumes. And get free shit at Starbucks and some other places for it.”

    Mingyu nodded vigorously, “That was exactly the plan, Y/N.” He looked at the wall of all the costumes that were pictured. It went from sad excuses of cats to elaborate zombie nurse costumes. Nostalgia hit you hard when you saw a little girl with a beaded Cinderella crown and white gloves that were too big for her small hands. Back in fifth grade you dressed up as Cinderella and Mingyu and Wonwoo both had to be your prince charming. You refused to let it be any other way. You giggled at the memory and the girl who waved at you with a princess wave and a smile plastered on her face as her mother dragged her away.

    “What did Jimin say him and his girl were going to be?” Mingyu turned to Wonwoo. 

    “I think he said they were going to be a pirate and mermaid… Or was that someone else?” 

    You moved to look at the fake blood that was out for sale. “No that’s right. Jinyoung said he was going to be Margarita Guy from Jurassic World, Joy was going to be a clown or something.” 

     Wonwoo snorted loudly, “I bet that will go over well.” He picked up a latex Chucky doll mask and held it up to his face. 

     “Attractive.” Mingyu rolled his eyes looking back at the assortment again. You snatched the mask from Wonwoo’s face as he pouted. “I want to be something funny this year. Last year we did scary.” Your mind drifted back the vampire costumes Mingyu brought you last year. The long black wig was itchy and the lace on the cape scratched the back of your legs. It was everything but comfortable. He however, believed it was the best costume you had worn yet, but that was probably because your butt looked good in the skimpy dress you were forced to wear. 

    You pulled out a pirate cutlass and Wonwoo a lightsaber. He started to make the noises and thus an ‘epic’ battle began. He had tried to jab your side but you were quicker than him. The two plastic weapons hit each other a few times as you both tried to take a play fight to the death seriously. You made your way around a rack that held weird hats and lightly hit his neck. “Jedi versus Pirate? I’m afraid to say the pirate outsmarted you. I had some hope that you would’ve been smarter than a drunk, though. I guess I was very wrong.” You smirked at him as he stuck his tongue out at you. 

     “Oh shut up.” Wonwoo took your plastic sword and his lightsaber back to their designated racks. He returned laughing as he pushed up glasses. 

     “Will you two be mature for like three seconds please?” Mingyu turned around with a large wizard staff in his left hand, a cowboy hat on his head, and glasses with the eyes falling from springs. 

     You grabbed onto Wonwoo’s shoulder to keep you from falling on the floor. “You look like a dumbass,” your ribs started to hurt from laughing so hard. 

     “Are you saying I wasn’t one before?” His shoulders dropped and a fake frown replaced his smile. 

      Wonwoo patted his friends shoulder lightly, “You’ve always been a dumbass, you just look like one with this get-up on.” He lifted the hat off of Mingyu. “Also, there is no way you are getting me to look that much like a fuck-wad sorry.”

     “Then what do you suppose we dress up as?” He placed the glasses on a nearby shelf. “I doubt you could think of anything better Mr. Jedi Knight.” 

     “Hey that would’ve been a great idea!” 

     “To you maybe”

     You looked at the wall one more time. If the two married couple don’t stop arguing, you would just say Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles, but you had hopes that the wall would have a better idea. 

     “But hear me out- Y/N as Leia, me as Luke, and you as Han Solo. Literally you two could kiss and no one would get all pissy because we weren’t following the story.” 

     Your hope started to fall as you couldn’t find anything of remote interest. 

    “Woo, I’m not dressing up as Star Wars characters, I literally said I wanted to do something funny.”

     “Or maybe Rey, Finn and Poe suits your interest more?”

    Mingyu crossed his arms, “Y/N, tell him you don’t want to dress up as Star Wars please.”

    You turned your head slightly, “Sorry Won.” 

     “HA! I told you!” He smirked at his elder, you only turned on his heel to stand next to you looking at the wall. Nothing popped to you. It was all stuff you’ve seen or done before. Finding a new and creative costume was hard when it came to the three of you. As you decided to turn around your eye caught hold of a costume hidden at the bottom of the wall. 

    “What if we dressed up as Sailor Moon, Mercury, and Mars? That way you two can fight like you always do and I don’t have to kick you guys to shut the hell up.” You looked at them as you reached out to stop the employee walking past. Pointing to the costume she rushed out to grad the three costumes for you and the boys. 

    “You know I can’t say no to you, Y/N.” Mingyu smilled widely. 

    Wonwoo looked you in the eyes, “I’m going to kill you November 1st, just remember that.”

    “Great so it’s official!” 

Chapter 11

[fluttersheep]

thank u for tagging me @michaalien!!

Favorite Snack: oh this is hard. maybe pita bread and pine nut hummus?

Favorite place to go on vacation? i dont know if other people consider them vacations, but i get off work so i count it. i like conventions bc thats where i get to see my friends that i dont otherwise get to. theyre my favorite time of the year

What’s a song that makes you dance immediately 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8FHSNIc3wI

no one is surprised 

Tea or Coffee? And what kind? rose tea. 90% milk

Do you play an instrument? i used to play piano. now i couldnt tell you which key is what

What’s your favorite type of personality? loving

Favourite Comedian? ive only ever seen john mulaney  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Gummy candy or chocolate? chocolate. im not an animal

What did you ‘want to be when you grew up’ as a kid? a vet, like most other people haha

What’s your favourite physical feature about yourself? i have nice hands. a good nose too

When was the last time you watched a show or movie on a TV? im watching its always sunny right now

Unpopular Opinion? its ok if youre into superwholock

Are you scared of bugs? i love bugs but i do squeal when i come across a cockroach or house centipede

Cats or cats? hmmm.... cats

Are you allergic to any foods? nope. i am ethically allergic to animal products tho 

Does the description of your star sign match your personality? not in the slightest lmao. im sure maybe my. moon rising whatever ones could be more accurate but my sun sign is way off. idc though i defy the stars haha

Favourite type of accent? german 

Name the first song that comes into your head! i just saw one of the previews for that movie called yesterday so. yesterday. what a strange idea for a movie. i do wish we had that guy instead of john lennon tho

Who is the sexiest famous person to you? im going to say papa emeritus ii and you are not allowed to judge me or my weird thing for demon priests ok

When was the last time you read an entire book? a while ago i finished smoke gets in your eyes by caitlin doughty

Favourite junk food? anything involving mac and cheese :’)

Do you like your height? it gets me to the snacks on the top shelf so its acceptable

Apples or oranges? apples babbeey

Do you like salad? ginger miso salad is pretty alright. can i say potato salad

What person inspires you the most?  my friends! its cliche but no one is stronger than them and i love them

What is a song that has made you cry? i know ive at least teared up at some songs before, but i cant remember what they were or why. ive never full on cried though. mostly because i tend to avoid music thatll make me react like that lol