#DOES THIS COUNT AS 3 SENTENCES LMAO

[onlyswan]

summary: in which you sacrifice your strawberries and eyelash wishes for the boy knocking at your door.

idol!jungkook x reader, strangers to friends (?) to lovers / fluff and a pinch of angst / word count: 5.5k

content/warnings: allusions to death and grief / jungkook is a cutie patootie and a blushing hopeless romantic mess / he wants to kiss oc so bad (me too bro) / oc is a sunshine <3 / they do chores and watch movies together :((( / in one scene he was worried oc would think of him as a perv lmao / they’re dorks and i love them / seokjin cameo hehehe

> in which masterlist!

note: to make up for the pain i may have caused and will cause <3 LOL. i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing :D as always reblogs and feedback are appreciated! come chat w me. ily 🌼

—

“it’s so cold,” you mutter through chattering teeth.

the grocery bags sit on the hardwood table with a thud— the careless bringer too hasty. you shove your icy hands in the deep pockets of your jacket, breathing in and out with a sense of relief.

you are not granted the mundane euphoria for much longer, however. the doorbell rings and you are padding across the floor against your will. the cold air hits your face before it enters your apartment.

however, the happy smile that greets you blankets your heart with a type of warmth that is difficult to describe.

if you had to guess who was behind the door, you wouldn’t say the boy you’ve been fiercely pining over for the past month, but it is certainly who you’d be hoping for regardless.

“good morning!”

“oh! wait there for a moment!”

jungkook stands motionless by your open front door as you disappear into your apartment. confusion accompanied by curiosity, he tries poking his head inside, but then decides that he shouldn’t.

upon your return, his face lights up again.

“here you go!”

he accepts the jar of honey faster than he could think.

“w-why are you-?”

you tilt your head, lips forming a small pout. “isn’t that what you’re here for?”

“uh, actually-” he awkwardly pauses, hand that carries the heavy paper bag behind him suddenly feeling weak. “i came here to give you something.”

your eyes animatedly expand in surprise of the size of it, not at all expecting to receive a gift from him today. you do know that he’s fresh from japan, as you converse on the phone almost everyday… why would he come here almost immediately? and didn’t he say they weren’t given the chance to roam the city because of their work schedule?

“i just grabbed things i thought you might like. i hope i got most of them right?” he explains with a nervous chuckle as you take a look inside.

a diverse array of snacks; a beautiful journal painted with cherry blossoms; a hello kitty plushie; stickers, muji pens…

“oh my god, jungkook… these are too much. you didn’t have to.”

oh, curse the hopeless fluttering of your heart.

“wow, gifting your merch- that’s real idol behavior for you.” you tease him, referring to the hooded jacket that has their group logo on its plastic packaging. “thank you!”

“no but it seriously warms you up! i have one too!”

“jungkook, why are you so cute?!”

“ah, shut up! i’m getting embarrassed!” he whines, blushing. “just look at them later after i leave, how about that?”

“let go! it’s mine!” you glare at him, hugging the paper bag to your chest to deny his advances on snatching it away. “are you not leaving? don’t you have work?”

“i told you— it’s my rest day.”

“you did?”

“while we were texting last night.”

“oh,” you blink. “i don’t remember reading that.”

“you? what are you doing today?”

you bite back the smile threatening to give away the thoughts running in your mind a thousand miles per hour. why does he want to know?

“nothing special. just chores the entire day.”

jungkook puts his hand inside the pocket of his coat, an attempt to appear casual as he offers you his valiant effort. “do you want some help? i’m good at doing chores.”

you stare at him, perplexed, as if he just said the most ridiculous sentence you’ve ever heard in your entire life.

“it’s your rest day and you want to do chores?”

“sure,” he grins playfully, not at all seeing how that could be wrong. “why not?”

“you know…” you pause— observing his expression, considering shutting your mouth, but that plan rarely ever works out. “you can just say that you want to spend time with me, right?”

your bluntness sends his heart racing. you’re a danger to his health.

he sinks his perfect teeth on his bottom lip, bringing his dimples into view. to be honest, you didn’t always have a thing about dimples. you didn’t consider them all that special. but why do they make him look cute and sexy at the same time?

his cheeks become tinted with a pale scarlet. you’re wearing that friendly beam again; he doesn’t know how to act. he never knows whether you are joking or not.

“well, now i know.”

—

jungkook sets down the jar of honey on the table as he settles in the living room, fascinated doe eyes darting around every inch of your place. it’s not his first time here, but somehow, it looks different each time. the two frames hanging above the sofa captures his attention all over again, colorful drawings against the plain white wall. gifted to you by your siblings, you said.

a tall castle with a happy family. a little boy slaying a dragon to protect a princess from its savage fire.

he is blissfully unaware of the knowledge that the drawings are the lone survivors of a school bus and a tragedy. you want it to stay that way. you want people to feel the opposite of the sadness you feel when you look at them. that is how you seek your peace.

“are you wearing toe socks?”

“huh?” he makes a sound of confusion, only processing your question upon seeing your gaze trained to his feet. “ah- toe socks- yes.”

“i’m only noticing them now. they look funny.” you scrunch your nose, chuckling.

“don’t laugh! they’re so comfortable!”

“really?” your eyes widen with genuine interest. “i should try them then.”

“yeah, you should!”

he whips his head around as he jokingly voices out an observation.

“but ____, your house kind of looks different today… it’s almost like it’s cleaner than the last time i was here.”

you bury your face in your hands with a high-pitched wine, hiding from him in humiliation. you did not plan on inviting someone over that night, and he had to watch you run around organizing and picking up things— the scattered books all over the table and the floor; the jackets that have created a big heap on the small couch; the jewelry box that ended up on the dining table for some reason.

he laughs in endearment, unable to take his eyes from you. even the way your hair bounces as you furiously shake your head is pretty. wait, does that sound weird?

“that’s right, it should look different! the first thing i did when winter break started was clean up my mess.”

“what’s the first chore on the list then?” he catches the grocery bags in the kitchen from his peripheral. “were you putting away your groceries?”

“you really want to do chores? you don’t want to watch a movie or something?”

“aigoo, it’s fine!” he waves off your reluctance. “stop worrying! i already said i’d help you.”

“but it’s embarrassing…”

it’s either jungkook is denying your advances or he is simply dense. but the fact that he showed up at your door unannounced on his day-off despite complaining about his exhaustion from their hectic work schedule, you want to lean towards the latter and believe that he is… as good at chores like he claims to be.

“you must like fruits a lot.” jungkook comments as he is squatted infront of your fridge, sheltering the freshly bought perishables one by one.

kimchi, lettuce, strawberries, tangerines, shine muscat, apples…

this is an entirely different world through your lens.

it feels strange to watch another person restock your fridge for you.

“they’re easy to eat and i’m lazy to cook.”

he chuckles as he looks back at you, who is sat on the dining table, airy and carefree as you snack on a bag of assorted chocolates from the paper bag he brought. almost all of the white chocolates are gone, he notes.

“not because they’re nutritious?”

“that’s the bonus!”

“what is this?”

“cranberry juice.”

“and this?”

“oyster sauce.”

you energetically hop off the table, an idea lighting up the bulb in your mind.

“i have another recipe for you. french toast with strawberries, then drizzle some of the honey. should i make it for you?”

“ah!” he gasps as if he is in pain, but the truth is his mouth is watering. he hasn’t eaten breakfast, and he wanted to eat more for dinner last night but sleep proved to be much more enticing than food. “that sounds so good! i’m starving!”

“stand up!” you begin pulling at the back of his sweater, forcing him to remove himself from the floor. “i’ll make it! just go relax in the living room, okay?”

“but you just said you’re lazy to cook.” he tilts back his head, meeting your gaze. “i’ll help you.”

“i’m not lazy when it becomes to being a host.”

you bend down with a sweet smile, merely inches away from him, and jungkook swears the earth has stopped spinning on its axis. your face is natural and bare, except for the sheen of lip balm across your lips— and dear heavens, having you this close, you are so breathtakingly beautiful.

“they’re playing christmas movies on channel 36.” you announce, giving him the bag of chocolates. “and the remote is… somewhere on the sofa… or maybe the floor.”

and as he gets practically kicked out of the kitchen, your hands roughly pushing his back, he daydreams of kissing you and tasting sugar on your lips.

—

the sweet, addicting smell of the french toast— strong hints of butter and cinnamon— invades every corner of your apartment. consequently, it also compels jungkook to break your rules and insert himself in the kitchen again.

“you never give up, do you?”

“i don’t,” he agrees, nodding eagerly. he has successfully stolen the task of washing the strawberries, and then slicing them after. he endures the freezing water rendering his hands numb. “it’s a known fact.”

“are you saying i should study harder?” you cross your arms, expression painted with faux vexation.

“yes! exactly!” he humors you, grinning of amusement. “what’s my favorite color?”

you sigh, looking at him from head to toe.

“anyone can guess that from a mile away, jungkook.”

“fuck, okay. that’s fair!”

the sound of his laughter reminds of you reasons to stay through the cycle of the seasons. you don’t understand why, but for some reason, it has finally begun to feel like christmas. the only comfort that comes along with the cruel winter that nips at your skin; the blanket over your heart that provides a type of warmth one can travel to seek but will never be able to find alone.

“what’s my height then?”

“aren’t you six feet?”

the silence that follows is an answer enough for you. the noise of the television emerges now that none of you is talking. he pretends to be too busy to speak, transferring the strawberries over to the chopping board.

“yes, you’re ri-”

“liar!” you point an accusatory finger at him.

and he winces, guilty as charged.

“you hesitated!”

“tsk, i should’ve said yes faster! i wanted to experience what it’s like to be tall!” he regretfully purses his lips, eyebrows knitted as if he just lost the lottery. “but haven’t you read it online? even my shoe size and weight are there.”

“what? why do people even need to know that…?” you exclaim, flabbergasted. “i mean- of course i’ve searched up your name, but it feels like cheating on a test. does that sound silly…? it’s just more fun learning about you from you.”

you briefly walk away to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and jungkook is left at the counter with fondness blossoming in his chest, bleeding into the chopped strawberries staining his hands red.

he calls out your name.

“mhmm?” you hum in question, muffled by the water in your mouth.

“want to hear a fact about me?”

you wipe your lips with the back of your hand, eyes expanding with fueled interest. “what?”

“i’m actually very good in the kitchen.” he boasts his skills with the kitchen knife, quick and precise, the blade against the wood creating the satisfying click you usually only hear from cooking shows. “are you seeing this? huh…? what do you think?”

“so i’ve noticed. i want something new!”

at that, his shoulder sags in disappointment. to his demise, there goes another failed attempt at making you acknowledge that he is boyfriend material.

“what do you want to know? ask me questions.”

“what’s your ideal type?”

being in your presence for the past hour has gotten jungkook re-adjusted to your personality— straight-forward, bold, smart— so vivacious that it’s dizzying. you make him nervous and comfortable at the same time, and he doesn’t quite know how to explain it either. but you’re a breath of fresh air, the change that he has been anticipating to disrupt his routine.

“why do you want to know that?”

you shrug coyly, smiling like the troublesome vixen that you are. you rather enjoy the tension that has hung in the air. if you’ve learned something from the past: men are easy to get, not easy to keep. because they relish in the chase, getting strung along like this. so, shouldn’t you have your fun too? but even if jungkook’s intentions were pure, you can only imagine that seeing someone whose life revolves around their career is… the perfect recipe for disaster.

“i think who you like also says a lot about who you are as a person.”

“i like someone who is kind and funny…” he hums in thought, unconsciously slotting a piece of strawberry in between his lips. “and passionate about the things they love… mhmm, someone who can be honest with me.”

his words form a constellation named after you, unbeknownst to you, and he wants to say more but anticipating what comes next after you connect the dots makes his stomach twist. he doesn’t feel like an adult yet. he’s still just a young boy with a gorgeous crush and high ambitions that coalesce in his dreams.

“i like someone who has a really pretty smile, too.”

and he should probably stop staring, erase the dumb lovesick smile on his face. for fuck’s sake, it would be easier for him if you would just do the same. behind the sparkles of your eyes, there is something he’s been dying to decipher.

“okay, why are you looking at me like that?”

because you are so pretty, especially when you smile.

“nothing,” he replies innocently. “you? what’s your ideal type? who do you like?”

“i don’t know… no one has captured my heart yet. they’re not trying hard enough!”

every romance you’ve had so far has been a letdown.

“but i’m still looking. i’m young, and hot, and the universe is vast.”

“mhm, i see… that’s true, but maybe… you don’t want to be looking too far.” jungkook suggests.

you smirk. “so you agree that i’m hot?”

“you know. you don’t need me to say it.” he chuckles, shaking his head.

“but i want to hear you say it.”

“you’re very beautiful, ____.”

“but that’s not-”

“the food is ready! let’s eat it before it gets cold!”

he runs to the living room without waiting for you, and you seize the opportunity to squeal without a sound, punching the counter without actually punching— releasing the giddiness threatening to spill from the seams of your heart.

you don’t know if this is heading somewhere, nor do you expect it to, but where you are right now is a good place to be.

—

the movie playing on the screen has become more of a white noise to you, a family comedy far less fascinating compared to jungkook drizzling honey over strawberries and bread from a spoon. you wonder if he is aware how often he creates sound effects while he is doing something.

beside you, his body quakes with cackles during the scenes that an editor would definitely insert the classic sound of an audience’s collective laughter and holler. you stumble upon the understanding that his happiness lies in a myriad of things, and you would envy him for it if not for the fact that he is currently sharing that happiness with you. you laugh when he laughs, and being becomes a little less heavier at that moment.

another commercial break rudely interrupts and jungkook turns towards you. the two of you sit cross-legged, knees knocking against each other as you occupy nearly the entire sofa.

“hi!”

“hi.”

“what are your plans for the holidays?”

“my best friend’s family invited me to stay with them for christmas until the new year. it’s kind of been a tradition since…”

the end of your sentence hangs suspended in the air. you still can’t say it out loud.

jungkook knows they’re gone and you’re alone: only the plain and brutal truths.

the reminder that this is the third christmas you will not spend with your family; the thought that this would be the third christmas they would spend without you if the afterlife was real— they bring tears to your eyes at once, but you forcibly blink them away, shoving enthusiasm down your throat.

“how about you?” you take a bite from your toast, attempting to divert your thoughts to… anything else. “are you coming home?”

you hide so well behind a smile. it doesn’t occur to jungkook that his question rubbed salt on an open wound.

“i miss my mom but i can’t go home yet.” he pouts. “i have work on christmas day as usual. we’ve been preparing hard for it.”

“oh, that’s right! gayo daejeon?!”

he nods in confirmation.

the music festival has been an annual event for his group since they debuted, and he never feels the need to complain because not everyone is given this kind of opportunity. what’s extraordinary for most has become his ordinary, and what was once his ordinary like everybody else’s has simply become a thing of the past. nevertheless, he does not have regrets. he is living a good life, one that he believes is his fate. as long as he has a voice and it is being heard, then his existence has meaning.

“your family will surely watch you, so they’re still celebrating it with you in a way. making them proud is the best christmas gift you can give!”

and right now, in his life, you are the cherry on top. you were so cheerful and supportive about the final shows of their tour as well, raving about how amazing it is to perform three nights in a row at gocheok skydome.

“i’ll watch you too!”

he can’t help it— you’re driving him to be better at what he does. childishly, he wants show off and be the one to capture your heart.

“ah!” he groans. “that means i should work harder at practice tomorrow! i can’t mess up infront of you and my family!”

“why not me? you want to make me proud too?” you interrogate him jokingly.

“of course, it’s my job. it’s what i do best. i’ll make you see!”

“use me as motivation then. you can’t mess up, okay? you have to do well, jungkook! you better not make a mistake! my eyes will be focused on you only!”

his face is reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights— the headlights being your wide, threatening eyes.

he releases a shaky sigh in dramatic fashion. “i don’t feel motivated, though? i’m getting pressured?”

you wheeze; the plate over your lap tilts along with its contents.

“this is tough love!”

jungkook nearly staggers to his feet. “…love?”

you roll your eyes, small corners of your lips still cheekily lifted. “was the french toast good?”

jungkook is interrupted before he can form a response.

“but if it tastes like shit, just lie to me!”

“what are you talking about?!”

oh my god, you’re too fucking good at making him laugh.

“you’re eating it too! you know it’s delicious!”

“maybe you got a bad batch!”

—

“i’m going to the laundry shop across the street. i’ll just be a minute.” you announce, hauling a laundry basket to the living room.

your strained grunts prompt jungkook to look up from his phone, and eventually to stand up with urgency and relieve you of your heavy, heavy burden.

“shit, how heavy is this?”

you’re not given a chance to protest as the basket is immediately stolen from your grasp; your lips part open but no words come out.

“i’ll come with you!”

“well, hopefully not more than twelve kilos.”

it’s definitely heavier than usual; mainly comprised of the thick and layered clothes you’ve been wearing to shield yourself from the unforgiving cold.

“let’s go.”

jungkook wraps his hand around your wrist, gently tugging. the butterflies in your stomach wakes up earlier than spring’s arrival.

“this thing is bigger than you.”

an extremely obvious exaggeration.

“i’ll be the one to carry it.“

—

jungkook wears a cap and a face mask underneath his hoodie, eyes barely even visible in his all-black getup for the public to see; and somehow you also find yourself with a scarf around your neck, pulled up over the bridge of your nose.

when the year 2017 rolled in, you predicted that more crazy, life-altering stuff would happen. it has been an on-going theme, a relentless domino effect that has brought you to your knees time and time again. but you never would’ve fucking imagined that this is how you would be wrapping it up. how the hell did you cross paths with a famous idol, and why is he carrying your laundry basket right now?

“wait here for a bit.” you bring both hands to the basket’s handles, coaxing him to let go. “i’ll just bring it inside.”

“are you only dropping it off? that’s expensive!”

“what?” you stare at him in bewilderment, not expecting him to utter such statement at all. “you’re talking like you’re not rich!”

“i’m not! and still,” jungkook becomes flustered underneath his disguise. “it’s good to be practical. anyway, we have a lot of time.”

“you sound more like a mom than my mom did.”

“shhh!” he shushes you, putting a finger over his face mask. “let’s just do your laundry ourselves.”

“why would you do laundry right now? you’re supposed to be resting in the first place!”

a tug of war ensues infront of the laundry shop. strangers doesn’t know better. you look like a married couple bickering over who should take responsibility of the chore.

“____, just let me, mhm? i’m a pro at doing laundry too! we’ll be done before you know it!”

“how are you good at everything? honestly, it sounds like a scam!”

“how dare you doubt me?” he gasps in offense. “i do my own laundry!”

“seriously?” you quirk an eyebrow.

“i’m serious!”

“i don’t think i believe you, though…”

“if you search online, you-” your voice echoes in his mind, and subsequently, jungkook cuts himself off.

‘it feels like cheating on a test. it’s more fun learning about you from you.’

“oh, nevermind. let’s go inside already. i’m freezing!”

“jungkook!” you whine, stomping your feet on the ground as you refuse to let go of the basket despite jungkook beginning to head inside.

“why?” he copies the childishness of your tone, and although you can’t see his face, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes tell you enough.

“we can’t…”

the adorable sight of you appearing to be so shy is foreign to him. he can’t help but to chuckle. “why not?”

your lips form a pout.

“my panties…”

you bring a finger to point at the basket.

“they’re in there too… i was only going to drop them off today because you came with me…”

“ah…” jungkook awkwardly freezes, unblinking. “wait, you’re right?”

why didn’t he think of that? he’s a fucking idiot. of fucking course. what if you take things the wrong way and you’re creeped out by him now?!

“fuck, sorry. i’m sorry. i wasn’t- um, i swear i wasn’t trying to…”

his tongue becomes tied, struggling to search for the words that won’t make him sound like a damn pervert.

yeah, way to go, jungkook. you’re not the fucking boyfriend yet and you’re ruining your chances.

“did i make you uncomfortable? i’m sorry. it probably looked li-”

“hey, breathe, calm down. it’s alright, jungkook.”

you giggle in amusement, placing a hand over his chest— his heart. it’s meant to ease him, but the knowledge that you’re feeling his racing heartbeat only causes it to further intensify. he swallows the lump in his throat, dumbfounded by the turn of events. he wants the ground to swallow him whole, but he also wants to stay in this moment a little while longer.

“it’s alright. i’ll go bring this inside then i’ll treat you to lunch at the restaurant over there! don’t run away from me, okay?”

—

“the yukgaejang looks good.” you utter absentmindedly, admiring the spicy beef soup with plentiful vegetables from afar. “i’m jealous of you.”

the other tables are already having a feast while you and jungkook are waiting for your take-out to be prepared.

“then you should’ve ordered it too.” jungkook scolds you lightheartedly. “should i go?”

“no! i’m not good with spicy food. spice makes me cry.”

he smiles softly. once again, you complete the picture from his eyes. “what is there to frown so sadly about?”

“i feel like i’m missing out.” you complain, the pout on your face almost permanent. “spicy food is like one of the trademarks of korea, you know? but i can’t handle it!”

“so cute…” jungkook has decided to give in to his impulses, it seems— the evidence is him pinching your cheek for the very first time, and with the discovery of its delightsome softness, it will definitely not be the last.

“oh, oh, oh! an eyelash!”

his doe eyes glisten with pure wonder and excitement, and the air in your lungs becomes suspended when his hand moves to tenderly cup the side of your face. as he is absorbed in capturing the tiny eyelash that has fallen and glued itself on your cheek, your mind reels with the size of his hand, the sensation of his innocent touch against your neck.

“aaand-” jungkook takes your hand, passing on the eyelash to your index finger. “there you go. make a wish!”

your eyes flicker down, and none of you speaks for a moment or two.

a wish…?

what does one wish for when they have given up on wishing for miracles?

“did you do it?”

you peek at jungkook, nodding. at last, you blow the eyelash away, outside the window, where it becomes one with the snowflakes that came from the same sky where wishes are supposedly granted.

“what did you wish for?”

“i’ll tell you when it comes true.”

—

jungkook eats so well— you feel full just by watching him eat. so when he asked you, eyebrows knitted and legs bouncing, if he could have more rice, you were left with no choice but to plug in the rice cooker for the second time today. you cooked only enough for two meals today: brunch and dinner for one. you’re more than happy to have given him the dinner portion. you like that your apartment is providing warmth for another soul, despite the old times that it housed ones that ended up haunting you.

“are there any more chores to do? while we wait for the rice?”

you gaze switches from him to the living room.

the boy who was knocking at your door is now vacuuming your floors.

you sit on the couch with your legs hugged to your chest, chin propped on your knees. an unexplainable feeling swims in your chest, but your heart calls to welcome it. not to be delusional, but technically, isn’t this a marriage proposal?

it falls on dear ears— the infuriating sound of the cheap vacuum cleaner your landlord lended you and never came back for. underneath it is jungkook’s mellifluous voice, humming and singing, and it’s all you can hear.

the only use you knew of honey is the magic it does with tea for a sore throat. when you learned about his demanding occupation, he is all you can think of in relation to the elixir. since then, you’ve been taking the god awful amount of honey your pesky neighbor provides without any complaints.

this is nice… this is good. you are glad that you opened the door.

—

after a hearty and satisfying meal, you and jungkook retired to your previous spots infront of the television screen. more of the snacks he bought for you ended up being shared. near your stacks of books are colorful food wrappers and half-empty glasses of water. two mediocre yet entertaining movies later, you tell jungkook that you should pick up your laundry before the shop closes in an hour. however, after he has excused himself to the bathroom, he is greeted by the sight of you peacefully asleep on the sofa.

once more, a new side of you is laid bare, and his affection grows. he doesn’t know when he can admire your face this close again without melting from your stare.

heedful of disturbing your much deserved rest, he carefully places a pillow beneath your head, and he pulls down the blanket you’re wrapped in to cover your cold feet.

with one last stolen glimpse, he grabs your key and receipt from the bowl and leaves.

—

“is it time for you to leave?” you delicately rub at your eyes that are still half-closed; voice quiet, barely there.

you were awoken by the front door opening and closing, but nothing has quite registered to your fuzzy brain yet, except for the coat that you neatly kept and is already re-worn by its owner.

and he knows you’re most probably just sleepy, but the way you’re gazing at him as if you’re sad to see him go makes his heart clench.

“no, i picked up your laundry.” he enlightens you, consciously speaking with refined tenderness, as to preserve the serenity that has enveloped the atmosphere. “i can stay until eight. is that okay?”

you release a weary sigh, nodding. “of course… and you’re such a nice friend, thank you.”

he plops down on the sofa, filling the jungkook-shaped space beside you.

tired… you’re so tired… despite the given privilege to finally sleep to your heart’s content, you’re still so tired. your forehead lands softly on his shoulder, and unbeknownst to you due to your stupor, jungkook’s breath hitches— the polar opposite of the steady rise and fall of your chest. you make him swoon. he deliberately ignores the fact that you just called him a friend.

you peer down at the floor, past the curtain of your disheveled hair, slowly blinking. those ridiculous toe socks… you giggle in secret.

“jungkook?”

“yes?”

“are you cold?”

“freezing.”

you lift your head and he knows— you have to be playing games with his heart, bringing the temptation to kiss you so painfully close. “do you want some tea?”

—

the performance has commenced but the passionate screams of the audience still rings in jungkook’s ears as he runs backstage, chased by the staff attempting to wipe the sweat he is practically bathing in. he squeezes one eye shut as beads of sweat threaten to enter it. his chest heaves with exhaustion and his heart pumps with overwhelming adrenaline. most of the time, this job doesn’t feel real. he feels high. this is the textbook definition of a dream.

“where’s my phone? please? does anyone have it?” he yells in the midst of the chaos and clamor as he completely strips off his in-ears.

a hand reaches towards him with the device, and his expression of gratitude gets lost somewhere among the repetitive reminders of the remaining time before they should have returned to their designated seats.

he allows the hair and make-up stylists to do their jobs, him as their doll in need of a retouch. on the other hand, he impatiently waits for his phone to power on.

the tapping of jungkook’s foot ceases, and from his glowing reflection on the vanity mirror, the clueless people surrounding him witnesses love strike.

guess my eyelash wish worked like a charm. your performances went really well

and you looked so cool on stage ☺️

merry christmas jungkook ❤️

“jungkook-ah, what are you smiling at?!”

seokjin cackles. jungkook didn’t even notice him roll his chair so close. he then decides to play dumb to tease their youngest one.

“wow, who is this ____ you’re texting?”

“hyung!” jungkook panics, hissing underneath his breath. “lower your voice!”

“ouch!” seokjin yells, rubbing his arm that was hit as a punishment.

he allows a moment of silence.

his expression goes blank and he avenges himself.

“ah!” jungkook gasps as the slap on his thigh resonates, forced to be ripped away from overthinking a text message. “hyung! you better start running!”

Draft: i know it’s late.. but can i see you later?|

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[huskersbooze]

Sick

Alastor x Reader

Summary : You get sick and Alastor keeps you company <3

Warnings : Swearing(lots of it)

Pairings : Alastor x F!Reader (M!Reader here)

Additional Tags : ALASTOR POV CUZ YES. Sick reader, implied relationship, h/c, fluff, comfort

Word count : 1.01k

“Hey, you alright, kid?” Husk tilts his head to the side, wiping down the last glass of the day.

You don’t respond. Instead, you’re staring off into the distance, dozing off in your own world.

“Kid?”

“Huh? What?” You finally snap out of your thoughts.

“Geez, ya’ look like hell.” Husk acknowledges. “Are you sick?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “I don’t think so?”

“Go rest. I’ll work alone today.”

“What? No! I’m fine I swear-” Before you’re able to finish your sentence, Husk flips you off.

“Bullshit. Go find your radio boyfriend.”

“Don’t bullshit me-”

You try arguing but Husk only smirks when he catches a glimpse of Alastor who’s appeared right behind you.

“Well, I just did.” He says. “Now stop being so stubborn.”

“I’m not being stubborn I-” 

You feel a hand being put to your forehead and try to fight back, only to realise it was Alastor.

“High fever.” He lets go. “You’re being stubborn.”

“Oh, fuck you, Al.”

“We’ll fuck when you’re better, darling.”

You blush. Alastor grins. Husk tries to hold in a laugh but ultimately fails.

“You’re sick and you need rest, my dear. Come along.”

“I’m fine-”

Alastor can only sigh, picking you up as you yelp.

“This is completely, and utterly, your fault single-handedly.” He smiled as you pouted. “You're very much welcome, darling.”

“Whatever.”

-----

You managed to escape Alastor as he leaves to mess with Vox. (Ep2 lmao)

Upon returning to the bar, Husk was not pleased to see your ass out of bed, emphasising on how important sleep was to someone sick.

You couldn’t care less.

Though, after wiping down a few more bottles with him, your eyes doze off and your eyelids feel droopy.

“Kid?”

The world spins and fades away.

“Fuck! Kid, ya’ alright?! Alastor!”

-----

[Alastor’s pov]

I heard a little groan as my eyes widened.

"Darling." I whispered, hoping not to startle her.

"Al..?" She breathed out.

"Good morning." I joked, though so grateful she was now awake.

"Wha.. What time is it?" She asked, struggling to get up.

"Be careful." I ushered, helping her sit. "I'm not so sure myself. It's very late at night."

"Where am I?" She asked, finally waking up as she stopped slurring through her words. 

"My room. ‘I’m not sick’ my arse." I replied.

"Oh. Well, I guess you and Husk were right. I just thought I was a little sick." She murmured. 

"You are sick." I replied. "Just worse than you expected."

"Real humorous, Al." She gave a small, yet weak, giggle.

Silence filled the air between us, and we didn't say anything else after that. That was, until she gave a small sneeze. I could tell she tried to suppress it, but seeing it was late at night and so quiet, it was hard not to notice.

"Are you cold?" I asked. I could barely make out the silhouette of her nodding lightly. Without hesitating, I took off my coat and handed it over to her. "Better?"

"A lot. Thanks, Al." She replied. After another few seconds of silence, she spoke up once more. "Why aren’t you asleep?"

"You do remember your dear partner does not need, nor does he enjoy, sleep?"

"Excuse, excuses." She joked, earning a chuckle from me.

"I can't really sleep now." She suddenly says out of nowhere. One thing I really like about this girl, she says the most random things in the most random situations. "Could we do something else?"

"Are you trying to get me killed?" I laughed. "You need to rest."

"I'm aware. That's the initial plan, anyways." She joked. At least, I hoped she was joking.

"You sneaky little deer."

"Yes. That's me. Hello." She replied, sitting on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed as she proceeded to look at me in the dark room. “Besides, it’s not like anyone here at the Hotel is actually powerful enough to kill you.”

"Very well, then. What do you have in mind?"

“Some jazz and cuddles would be nice.”

-----

She chokes on another cough.

"Are you sure you're alright? You should really rest in such vulnerable state."

"I'm," Another cough. "Fine. I swear."

"If you insist."

After a while, I turned to face her, worried she wasn't enjoying herself anymore, only to find her sound asleep, clinging lightly to my shirt. See? I told you were sleepy. You just refused to listen to me. I stopped and watched the girl, moving little by little, afraid of waking her up.

She looked so peaceful. Though, it wouldn't be the first time I find her sleeping in my presence. I tugged a small strand of hair behind her ear as she shifted a little. I immediately paused. Shit, had I woken her? Though she soon returned to her slumber and she curled up into a ball in front of me.

I suppose this would suffice.

"Goodnight, darling." I whispered softly, laying next to her in the bed. "See you in the morning."

-----

[2nd person]

You awoke early in the morning, feeling well rested. Your bed was awfully more comfortable than you had remembered. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, finally opening them for the first time, only to find that you weren't in your own room. It took you a while to let things simmer in.

That's when you heard snoring next to you.

You turned to find the Radio Demon cuddled into a ball next to you in bed sleeping oh so soundly. The poor man probably hadn't had sleep in days. Before you could process what was happening, you checked the time and realized you had to be back at the bar for work in 5 minutes. Not wanting to wake Alastor up, you left him a quick note to thank him and left.

----

The whole day passed and you never caught sight of Alastor. After closing the bar, you headed to Alastor’s room,hoping to find him there.

You stop at his door and break out a tiny laugh.

On the door, a rushed sign saying — Sick. Keep out.

[atiny-moon]

ATEEZ as Boyfriends

Genre: soft, fluffy, suggestive

Pairing: ot8 x gn!reader

Tags: a little bit of everything <3

Word Count: 1.6K

HONGJOONG

Definitely the type of bf to fix your clothes - like if you’re going out somewhere, i can see him helping you pick out smth to wear or even styling you himself. And when you two are out, he’s constantly adjusting your fit so you don’t look bad. The type of guy wander off in the middle of a party just so he can admire you from afar

Though he isn’t too fond of being overly emotional, will hype you up to anyone who would listen and not even in an annoying way, it just so happens that the majority of his sentences start off with ‘oh, my partner..’

Loves leaving marks - biting, hickies, etc. in places only he knows about

Will call you every time he’s eating, even if he doesn’t say anything, just bc he missed you and wanted to have you around for a little bit

Doesn’t like to cuddle but does give the best kisses the kind where he just holds your chin in place and plays with the ways his lips touch yours

Ultimate king of push and pull

SEONGHWA

Ugh, the way this man would absolutely dote on his partner. Anything they wanted - he’d be all over it. Think acts of service type of love

Loves all the cheesy romantic shit, all of it - the matching accessories, matching hairstyles, coordinating outfits, taking an insane amount of cute couple photos, going to the most aesthetic date spots just so y’all can take photos together. Knows your best angles, duh

So many gifts. And expensive gifts, too! Hwa’s got super expensive taste and i feel like he’s the type of bf to dote on you so much that he wouldn’t want you to wear inexpensive clothing. Like he’ll be like, ‘oh, babe, i got you these new silk pajamas because you said mine were so comfy’ meanwhile he’s already replaced like all of your clothes

Super comfy stay-at-home dates where you do skincare and watch the latest episode of whichever drama you’re watching. Even when he’s hella busy, he’d find time to video call you so you could watch the newest episode together.

Always smells incredibly good, addictive even

Forehead kisses & top of the head kisses are his favorite

YUNHO

Textbook romantic gentleman. The type that makes sure you walk on the inside of the sidewalk, opens every door for you, never ever lets you lift a finger, and will always give you his jacket if you’re cold

Super sentimental. Like if you put together a scrapbook of all of your time together, guaranteed this man will cry. Especially if there’s a handwritten letter explaining how much you love him - he would simply be undone

Tries to remember every single detail about you so he can either plan the perfect date or gift you the perfect item. Truly works soo hard at being a good boyfriend. Also really good with birthdays. Like, scary good.

And tbh, the type of bf to call you out on your bs - like when you’re being a little unreasonable or if you’re telling him about a situation that you’re going through, i think yunho would be the type of bf to tell you when you’re wrong but in a nice way! (maybe.. he can be kinda savage sometimes lmao)

While I don’t think he’d be super into PDA i do think he’d just always be near you like close enough to reach out and hold his hand or close enough that you two would be able to talk without raising your voices

This man loves back hugs

YEOSANG

The best at good morning and goodnight texts. They somehow always make you feel loved and special

Super supportive? The type of bf to set reminders in his phone so he can wish you good luck on whatever upcoming project you’re working on. Even if it’s like the smallest thing ever, he’d be so proud of you for working toward it and even more proud when you achieve it

Really deep and interesting conversations

I think it would be so easy to be with Yeosang - like the both of you wake up together, get hungry at the same time, get sleepy at the same time, etc

It’s not that he’s not into PDA, he just forgets about it like of course he loves holding your hand, but he got distracted thinking about what he wanted to get for lunch

Laying his head on your lap is his preferred way to fall asleep

SAN

Loooooooves physical affection. Cannot get enough of it. I think his ideal would be being able to glue himself to you so two could just walk around permanently attached to each other. also I feel like San runs really fricken hot - like a cute lil heater

The ultimate hype man. It could be a pre-workout selfie, a just finished taking a shower selfie, an all dressed up selfie, a sleepytime selfie, a i just woke up selfie, IT DONT MATTER!! San is going to hype you up every single time. Which obviously does wonders for your confidence (which was his plan all along ;) )

Loves to stay in and just watch movies. Mostly so he can spend as much time as he can cuddling with you. Matter of fact, most of the dates he plans are just excuses to spend more time with you - physically and emotionally

Speaking of, San would be such a good listener! Like I feel he’d understand where you’re coming from emotionally and provide support in a positive and affirming way and never ever make you feel like your emotions are wrong or you were wrong, for that matter truly wants the best for you

And bc he loves you so much, I feel like he would also respect you a whole heck of a lot which means the first time you guys wanna do anything sexual, it takes him a loooong time to be okay with it. Like i think you would have to initiate

That said, he would absolutely blow your back out every chance he got once he got comfortable

MINGI

Loyal af. Once he makes a decision on who he likes, it’s that person FOR EVA so get used to the idea of having song mingi in your life

The wildest communicator - like, y’all abandoned texting very early on in the relationship and now exclusively communicate via selfies/photos, voice memos & memes. His voice memos are hilarious and sometimes incredibly lewd. Like will sing you an entire song that he just made up. In voice memos. Then follow it up with what he wants to do to you in excruciatingly graphic details.

While he won’t do completely matching outfits, he is super down to coordinate outfits - wear the same colors, or complementary silhouettes, something that lets ppl know you two are an ~item~

And though I think he likes being Princess Mingi, i think he would go to great lengths to make sure you’re taken care of - whatever you need, he’d get it for you.. Or get someone else to get it for you lolol

Will always pull you into his lap. He likes how easy/fun it is to manhandle you.

Loves PDA. I’m talkin full on make-out sessions, ass grabbing, hand holding, and everything in-between. good luck getting him off you!

WOOYOUNG

Likes biting. A lot. Especially the marks it leaves

Super generous. Like, the most giving man you have ever met. Will give you the shirt off his back even if you don’t ask for it. This also extends to anyone you know, especially! family. He likes knowing he’s the one taking care of you && yours

This man is crazy into fashion and i think his style would end up affecting your style, not bc he wants to but bc he just looks so cool all the time, you’d wanna match him, if you know what i mean. Definitely gives me gomez & morticia addams vibes.

Learns your favorite dishes and cooks them for you.

I think Wooyo’d be the type of bf to be a little controlling or ride the line of being a little mean just so he can rile you up. It turns him on when you get angry. But would also definitely cut it out if he saw you weren’t having it.. He wants to fuck you, not make you mad!

Can and will makeout with you for hours

JONGHO

Would have such a hard time telling you how he feels, but has no problem showing you how he feels - whether it’s buying you a little trinket, or making sure you ate, or even just listening to you, i think you would always feel loved when you’re with Jongho

Is actually really funny? Or maybe he’s just good at learning what makes you laugh and then gets good at telling you jokes that align more with your humor

Your family would absolutely adore Jongho

Wants to experience new things with you so all of your dates are either trying out a new restaurant, or visiting a new pop-up event, or going to a new city for the weekend, anything that helps creates memories with you

Hella anti-PDA. Will actively avoid holding your hand in public. But as soon as you are behind closed doors, will be the sweetest and most loving bf - being silly/cute, soft sweet kisses, plenty of hugs (which he’s surprisingly really good at), and sooo many massages

Jongho would give the best aftercare

[newtkive]

pixels [ newt x reader - modern text au ]

ch. 2 - drama queen core

summary: minho's drama finally catches up with him, but newt becomes a hero.

warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

__

THE GLADE

[ 12:08 PM ]

y/n: gm pookies

newt: it’s the afternoon.

y/n: yeah well

ur east coast

newt: so are you y/n

y/n: FINE BAD MORNING THEN ARE U HAPPY?

minho: drama queen is awake

newt: you’re the drama queen min let’s be fr

minho: u want me to die be honest

newt: see .

tommy: hey guys :3 been waiting for you all

y/n: awwww tommy <3 gm

tommy: morning sweetums

minho: ew stop

newt: how did you sleep?

tommy: good! used my new heated pillow

newt: not you

minho: not you

tommy: wtf

WHO THEN?? THERES LIKE 7 OTHER PPL IN HERE

minho: he means y/n

and there’s 4 other people not including newt and y/n dumbass

y/n: oh

why just me????

newt: cuz you stayed up til 6 am

y/n: ..

how do you know that

newt: i saw you were active on discord

gally: doesn’t that mean you were awake too then

newt: ok and?

minho: thats crazy newt

newt: no it isn’t

i just casually saw it

y/n: hehe

im ok i need to sleep more. sims 4 was really consuming me

why were you awake??

newt: up for work

minho: you get on discord before work?

chronically online..

newt: can you choke and pass out and hit your head please

minho: THE WAY U WANT ME DEAD IS INSANE

y/n: he’s gotta check on his discord hoes before hitting the grind

newt: there are no discord hoes

unless you count thomas

and i don’t

tommy: well why not

newt: because you disgust me

tommy: love u too :3<3

minho: y’all about to kiss aren’t you

newt: never say that shit again im outside your door with a b*mb

minho: why censor it

just blow me up it’s my grandmas house anyway. u want to jump her that bad????

gally: blow that bitch up i say

y/n: HELLO???!,!!

gally: minho not grandma

she loves me cuz im so tall

minho: tall people always gotta remind you they’re tall 😒

like we get it bigfoot

gally: shut up tinkerbell

y/n: you’re somewhat tall minho

minho: any man under 6’0 is considered short

y/n: yeah but newt is 6 ft trapped in a 5’10 body so not totally true

newt: what does that even mean

minho: give me a break

i can tell you exactly what that means

she wanna hit

newt: stop

tommy: don’t get his hopes up

newt: dude

stfu

y/n: what newt said

gally: can we appreciate the only one actually over 6 ft here

minho: no.

tommy: im the same height as newt!!!!

y/n: yea but ur like 3 ft trapped in a 5’10 body tommy not the same

tommy: oh ..

minho: kind of real

newt: can someone kick gally i’m tired of seeing his fucking name on my phone

gally: then turn your phone off don’t you have old ladies to tend to at the library

newt: yeah and they all love me

y/n: so real

if i was old i’d go in there and imagine you’re my young boyfriend and cling to everything u say

tommy: true im the old ladies

y/n: LMAO

minho: write a fanfic y/n why don’t you

newt: yeah you both are old and not beating the dementia allegations

y/n: IM THE YOUNGEST HERE

ur just mad you’re old as dirt

tommy: youth has left you newt and it has turn you bitter in your old age.

minho: thomas knows big words who knew

newt: which word in that sentence was big??

y/n: shut up minho

minho: wtf did i do

y/n: idk but i imagine you sitting there typing on your little phone and i got pissed

minho: WHAT???!.‘wKWHFO

newt: LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

yeah chubby little fingers hitting the wrong letters on his iphone 8

minho: im leaving

tommy: dont leave i forgive you for what you said

minho: i don’t give a damn

y’all mad y’all are all fake im the realest i’ve been prophesizing and reading scriptures 7000 years before y’all fake asses were born be so for real right now

y/n: not reading that

congrats

or sorry for what happened idk

about to drink my coffee in a wine glass

tommy: just drink wine

newt: it’s noon tommy??

tommy: ok and?

newt: explains a lot

minho: no coffee for me this new year only water and pussy juice fr fr

[ newt removed minho from the group ]

tommy: woah

y/n: woah..

newt: i can’t take it anymore

alby: How did you get that access..?

newt: don’t worry about it

in times of need i have to step in like that

y/n: hi alby!

alby: Hey y/n!

tommy: you’re such a hero newt

gally: that was deserved

who wants to play minecraft rn

y/n: me!!

alby: I’ll play, I’m off work today.

y/n: let’s go to the desert i want a camel

gally: alright but then the caves after i wanna mine

newt: if you mine with her you gotta bring extra food and storage when she dies so you can pick up the fallen items

gally: i forget you’re her designated babysitter

y/n: oh please no he isn’t

and i’ll bring my own food

newt: you always say that and then leave it in the stove oven

y/n: WELL I WONT THIS TIME

newt: sure ok

i’ll get on after work

[ alby added minho to the group ]

minho: when i get you.

newt: why did you add him back alby

alby: He was harassing me.

newt: be a man and take it

gally: im leaving

[ gally left the group ]

minho: im going to throw up and die

newt: im staying out of this

minho: (guy who caused it) im staying out of this

y/n: why does gally alwyas leave 😔

newt: why question a gift from the heavens

tommy: get online y/n gally is attacking my dirt house w a pickaxe :((((

y/n: NO IM COMING

minho: im coming to your work newt

newt: okay im locking the door early then

minho: i’ll smash through the glass idc

newt: i’m leaving my shift is over at 1 today.

minho: i’ll use life360 on you

newt: i deleted that app

minho: i’ll stand in the middle of the street

newt: ok let me position my car in front of you

just come to my apartment and we can play w them on pc and xbox

minho: …. fine but i hate your guts

newt: fine

y/n: HURRY GALLY IS ATTACKING MY SHED NOOOOWWW

newt: i’ll just rebuild it

minho: i’ll set it on fire just wait

[writingmeraki]

unsaid, unkept, ugly emotions.

a seventeen vocal unit imagines !

IN WHICH, the uglier side of feeling too much getting more messier than it already is for both parties involved.

(or in which for different reasons, it just seems you aren't meant to be.)

pairing : svt!vocal!unit! x gn!reader, bestfriend!jeonghan, popular!joshua, ???jihoon, fwb(?)seokmin, enemy!seungkwan.

genre : angst, no comfort, everything is messy.

warnings : cussing, messy, heartbreak, contemplation, arguements, miserable people, miscommunication, everyone gets hurt, a lot of unspoken feelings, like emphasis on that you may get annoyed.

author's note : here's my attempt at angsty feelings ( i hope it was done well enough, really i tried but it might not be for me )<3 the potential to turn each into a fic is there but for me it'll be zero ( for now!!!!) kinda nervous to post this haha it's my first svt work but also a first of this kind of work, let me know if you want more of the units! and what you thought of this :) also peep the cute colours contrasting the fic lmao

HIP HOP UNIT VER. | PERFORMANCE UNIT VER.

word count : 2.9k

˖° ✰ ┆JEONGHAN.

The signs that something was wrong were there. For a while now. But you being the problem runner you were, you chose to ignore it.

You also knew one day they’ll catch up to you, and it seemed today was it. 

“Jeonghan?” 

He raised an eyebrow at you. Though it was his name, it sounded so foreign coming from you. 

You who never called him by his full name. It left a sour taste on his tongue as he answered,

“Yes?”

“Do-do you think we’re good?”

Did he think you were good? He was feeling good, great even. But you asked in plural and in the plural it included you. Your relationship.

What was your relationship?

“Uhh…I’m…I think?” 

You smiled at his answer. It didn’t reach your eyes, nor did it hide away the bitterness in them. “You know what I think? I don’t think we’re good. I think- I think it’s all a mess. It’s me, isn’t it? I should have never told you how I felt right?”

There. You ripped the band-aid off right from the wound. You had to, otherwise you knew your heart would be the one shattered, sooner or later, so why wait?

You knew there’d be consequences on confessing to your best friend. You knew there was always a risk to confess but the risk felt higher if it was someone you considered your best friend. A few sentences and it’s either having a stranger who you shared a past with or someone to create more memories for the rest of your time together. 

The issue gets more complicated when you don’t know where you stand. 

He couldn’t answer you, he didn’t know how to answer you. On one side, he wanted to yell at you. Yell at you for regretting confessing when it may have been the one thing he wanted to hear since the day thirteen year old him saw you beat up a guy who was bullying your brother.

On the other hand, he felt the fear consume him of the future, what if you broke up? You would never be the same, no matter what. He didn’t want to lose what he had, so he rather left it unanswered, thinking with time, it’ll fade away. Like everything does.

His feelings for you never did. A wonder how he could think yours would.

Taking a deep breath with your eyes shut,you nodded knowing your answer,

“Alright then I see.”

“Let’s take a break from each other.”

Break of what? You didn’t date, you were in a one-sided love scenario with your best friend. 

Before he could reply, he watched you walk away. Your heart felt heavier when you didn’t hear a single word or even footsteps follow you. 

His mind was the loudest and one thing he was for sure, as you walked away with each step, he could feel his heart slowly crack.

And just like that. It is over. 

・₊ ‹𝟥 ┆JOSHUA.

Perhaps your biggest mistake was wanting someone who everyone wanted. But was it really your mistake because technically you were also part of everyone. 

You could feel his stare burn into your side as you ate the horrible cafeteria food in your college. You could somehow hear his voice, somehow know he was likely calling you to talk.

What went wrong?

Everything you’d answer if he ever asked. It began going downhill when you felt those feelings you knew you didn’t feel around anyone. Certainly when you hung out with Yeonjun or with Jimin, you didn’t feel them. 

You only felt them around him. The weird butterflies, the warm cheeks, the sweaty hands. At first you thought maybe you were actually scared of him, the intimidated type of scared. Who knew it ended up being scared of how you felt for him, how probably no one made you feel the way he did. 

Finally looking up at him, you hid all your emotions as best as you could. You certainly hoped he wouldn’t be able to know. 

But as your gaze fell to the girl beside him, you couldn’t hide them.

Choi Seora, the younger sister of Choi Seungcheol who was Joshua’s best friend since you could know. Well since that time he told you himself he knew the Choi siblings since they were kids. Childhood best friends. Knew them before you.

And she was also the girl who loved him. Anyone could see it from the way her eyes would look at him like the way one would at a treasure they’d been searching for. What she’d do for him, from what you’ve heard, what you’ve seen. There never was a chance.

It seemed as though the sign was already there. How could you compete with someone who knew him longer than you ever would? It’s not a competition if you already know you're losing. 

Your unused hand clenched under the table, nails digging into your palms, leaving crescent marks that would bruise. Perhaps it would be in a similar state to the bruise inside your chest.

It fucking sucked when you could still feel his gaze on you as you turned back to stare at your half eaten bowl of pasta. Well, excuse of a pasta.

Suddenly you felt your phone ring from beside your bowl and you knew who it was before you even looked.Without looking at the name, you moved your hand to the switch off button and shut it off.

You wished there was such a button for emotions. 

“Shua? Who are you calling?” It was empty in the cafeteria and you thought you might just puke out the pasta when you heard her sweetly call out to him as she looked at him with concern.

But for now, you’d do what seemed right. 

Leaving your bowl of uneaten pasta, you grabbed your bag and phone. With one glance at Joshua whose attention was on you but now turned back to Seungcheol and Seora as they said something, you walked away.

The last thing Joshua heard was the sound of the cafe doors closing and when he turned his attention back to what or specifically the one who had been in his mind since the first time he met, he found you were gone.

At that moment, Hong Joshua felt more miserable than he ever did before.

₊✧ ┆JIHOON.

The lump in your throat got bigger as your vision got blurrier. You knew you should have listened to your friends.

Jihoon isn’t the type of person to be in a relationship with, babes, he doesn’t want that commitment stuff.

It’s what Karina had told you when you told her you were in love with him. Head over heels type.

But when it came to you, the determined type, the one who stood their place no matter what. The unwavering pebble in the ever-so drifting waves of the ocean. You believed that perhaps if you tried hard enough, surely the boy would see your efforts.

It wasn’t just a one-sided thing you knew. Otherwise another thing he was known for was being honest. If he didn’t like it, you were sure you’d have stopped. You didn’t think you were insane for thinking he may just like when you saw him smile at you for bringing him coffee. You didn’t think you were insane for thinking he may just reciprocate your feelings when you saw him hiding his face from complementing his work ethics. Perhaps, it was all in your lovesickness you drew these conclusions and many others. 

So where did you mess up?

“Fucking hell! Just leave me alone and stop acting like a clingy partner!” 

That’s what it got you. It was as though the words slapped you in the face. You surely did feel like it when you flinched taking a step back and your cheeks warmed in a mix of embarrassment as well as hurt. It wasn’t the kind of warmth that pleased you, it was the kind that burned you. Harshly so you felt it in your entire body.

Maybe it was your fault after all, you noticed he was having a bad day and you made the effort to go and comfort him. As you did. 

Maybe maybe maybe, always maybe your fault and always yours. 

Maybe you should listen to him then. 

Inhaling with what dignity you had left, picking up the pieces of your heart that seemed shattered the minute he finished the sentence, you glared at him and spat out words laced with an equally venomous tone.

“Fine then! You’re saying it's my fault but you know what, maybe everyone is bloody right about you! You’re nothing but a coward scared of commitment!”

“The day you’ll realize you’re nothing but a coward who gets scared at the mere thought of being in a relationship and pushes someone away because maybe there is a chance you like them, it’ll be too fucking late because guess what? I’m tired of this stupid push and pull game with you,Jihoon.” 

“Goodbye.”

You hated how your voice cracked when you finished speaking. You hated how you could not stop the tears. You especially hated the look on his face as he saw what he did, what his words did.

With what energy you had left in you, you turned around and walked away.

Enough was enough, you couldn’t win over someone’s heart who wasn’t even sure whose hands it should lay in. 

Yet one thing was sure, yours laid in his hands and right then, you sure felt like he crashed it into pieces. 

♡₊˚ ┆ SEOKMIN.

Seokmin glowed like the moon solely rose up to soak in his light, like the stars twinkled off his radiance. Maybe,you just got too close to the sun, enchanted with its brightness, to not realize just how much it could burn you. He was your sun. No actually the sun,stars, moon whatever celestial body existed perhaps dimmed down compared to him. 

You think it messed you up completely when you kissed him in that truth or dare game surrounded by your mutual friends. You think about the stolen kisses, never more, just kisses in between the times you’d pass by in the hallways, pulling him in a cramped space and leaving with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Again, just kissing. 

Simply put, you were addicted to him. To the way he made you feel. To the way he made you tingle when he kissed you so gently. 

You didn’t want to address the elephant in the room. Or in this case, 

What were you two?

Mingyu asked when you were sitting down in the same circle, just like the first time you’d kissed each other, with the same people. 

You hesitated and then said, uncharacteristically enthusiasm lacing your voice,

“Friends of course! Don't be ridiculous Gyu.”

You didn’t like that word, and it seemed he didn’t either as he looked away,gulping in distaste and a scoff on his face that was usually unnatural for the sunshine like a boy. Seemingly going unnoticed by you but said boy who asked the question noticed and glanced back at you to see if you noticed. He sighed when he saw you not looking at Seokmin but raised an eyebrow as he saw you in a dilemma. 

Right. Friends. Friends who kiss. But still friends…friends?

You tried convincing yourself the rest of that day that adding a label would ruin things. It always does. You should enjoy it while you can, right? It was all in fun?

So why did you feel terribly down when Seokmin refused to talk to you for the rest of the day?

“Seok?” You asked gently and he sighed exhaustingly as he looked at you,

“Please, please don’t…don’t call me that.”

The look of hurt on your face made him hate himself more because why would anyone like to hurt someone they loved?

Before you opened your mouth to speak, he continued,

“I don't think I can do this anymore, this…whatever this is. I am…sorry.”

And without a chance to ask more questions or give any answers, he turned around and walked away.

This was your fault. You hurt him because you couldn’t admit it to yourself that you…that you loved him. 

You loved him more than the universe, you loved him since the day you saw him. You were just scared you'll lose him like the way you lose all your loved ones. You were scared of risks. You were…a coward.

And now it seemed, it was too late to do anything about it.

⠂୨୧ ˚.┆SEUNGKWAN.

Seungkwan and you were fire and water. Milk and lemons. Politicians and caring for the country’s people- Okay too far perhaps and enough of these metaphors of incompatibility to get a point.

You were sworn enemies. Despised each other in the true forms of hate. You hated him so much for the emotions he rose in you that you couldn’t stand him ruining another poor innocent soul with his devious eyes and cunning smile.

Which was exactly what he was doing with the girl wrapped around his left arm, additionally whispering probably lame jokes that made her giggle as though they were the funniest thing on earth. Lee Yuna was her name, you knew her as a cheerleader due to seeing her during your basketball games and also being somewhat acquainted because as a captain, it was apparently in your duty to know everyone especially those involved in the sports sector of your university.

You wish you could cross off knowing Seungkwan but alas, being the midfielder of the boys’ soccer team and the apparent star as well didn’t help in your case. 

“I smell something burning and oh! Would you look at that! It’s an ugly green color too!” Sakura said as she smirked at you, pretending to take a sip of her drink when you directed your glare at her. 

“Fuck. You.” 

“You wish-”

“Oh! hey cap!” A voice said before you could retort to Sakura and you turned to see Vernon smiling at you in greeting. You knew him, of course you knew all of Seungkwan’s little friend group. You frowned at him eyeing him in suspicion. He was Seungkwan’s friend after all.

“Why the frown?” Sakura snorted as he asked you,his attention going to your best friend before she pointed at him and it was as if he understood and nodded.

“Ohhh, I see what’s the matter now.”

“Someone’s” Coughing very fakely, he added, “Jealous.”

Shutting your eyes, you looked at him with a glare enough to make him shut up on his own but still you added,

“Say that again and I’ll-”

“Already giving death threats huh? Maybe you should really go check up on that stick up your ass.” Of fucking course, now is when he decided to show up.

As though his eyes had not been searching for you the moment he stepped in the party. As though he hadn’t noticed you the moment you did. As though it wasn’t just an elaborate plan to rile you up.

You looked at him and fuck. Fuck he made you so angry with how fucking good he looked despite the conditions of the party. His blonde hair shining in the colorful lights and the darn smirk on his face. 

“Kwan. How nice of you to show up! Just the person I was waiting for!” Your sarcasm could be sensed by those around, Sakura’s attempt at hiding her snort and Vernon’s brows raised not going unnoticed. They looked at each other briefly and a knowing look was exchanged.

Here we go again.

“Aw you were waiting for me darling?Hope I wasn’t too late, just got a little busy you see?”

“Clearly.” You said before thinking, the scowl on your face visible and the smugness on his face only grew larger.

“Not fond of me with someone else?” You didn’t even notice how both Vernon and Sakura had left, seemingly only Seungkwan and you, in the midst of drunk teenagers and perhaps lovesick ones, perhaps loners. 

He got closer, closer that made you clench your hands that hung on your sides, leaning down.

“Not fond of me with anyone but you?”

It was as though his voice put you in a trance, or maybe it was how his warm breath tickled your neck. And for the first time in a while you thought of what he said, deeper than you would have ever.

You weren’t sure if you liked the answer. Or what it exactly implied too.

“Stay in your limits Kwan. Don’t fucking- don’t play this shit with me.” You pushed him away as harshly as you could, even if it felt like your hands burned when you thought of what you did. Purposefully ignoring the look in his eyes. Visible hurt and a frown on his face, you turned around, having enough.

“Don’t come after me. Stay with Yuna or whoever, I don’t fucking care.” You don’t know why you said the last sentence. You also don’t want to know why it felt bitter saying it.

With that, you began to walk out, gulping the fresh air that was much needed after being in that suffocating place, suffocating feelings.

As you shut your eyes, you gulped thinking of what you were doing. Why were you so pissed off? 

And maybe you realized, you needed to check on the line that was drawn between Seungkwan and you. Perhaps it’s become too blurry to distinguish it from hatred and love.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024

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[messrmoonyy]

friends with benefits with Tess but reader has some feelings for her and Tess rejects her a lot and tells her she just wants to have sex with her. But she’s trying to keep her safe because she’s scared that because she does bad things she might make reader be in danger. But Tess sometimes thinks that she wants to be with reader because she has feelings. But one time Tess finally sees that she has feelings for the reader too and they get together

If that’s okay it’s okay if you don’t want to write that

Apartment 342

Tess Servopoulos x reader

A/N- this is not even remotely as smutty as the request may make you think I’m js. Angst, smut( if you squint ), fluff, hurt comfort. All in one. I wrote the majority of this basically in one sitting right up until 2am last night. And I kinda love it. I’m also a little obsessed with Tess’ pov rn I don’t know if you noticed lmao. So this is a Tess pov. And again this literally just doesn’t have smut in. Like maybe 3 sentences. If that. I wanted tess’ emotions instead.

Warnings- smut ( oral ) if you squint, small mentions of violence and injury, honestly a pretty toxic relationship

Word count- 7.9 k

TLOU masterlist | navigation | AO3

Reblogs and comments are encouraged and appreciated. Support your writers &lt;3

Tess ran a soothing hand over your leg as you stopped squirming, going slack with a blissful sigh. She unhooked your leg from over her shoulder and sat up, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand with a satisfied smirk on her face. 

You always looked prettiest like that. Every muscle in your body turned to jelly, a blissed out look on your face. It made her chest twinge in a way she pretended not to notice. 

“ you okay? “ she asked, getting up from the bed and walking over to the window, pushing it open to let some cool air into the now stifling apartment. And hoping the breeze might clear the fog in her mind. 

“ I’m okay “ you said, making Tess glance back to see you shuffling to sit up “ you know someone might see you standing there fuckin naked in front of my window “ 

“ lucky them “ you scoffed, but smiled. 

“ yeah. Lucky them “ she took another moment to feel the cold air before turning away from the window. The last thing she did need was someone seeing her there, as much as she had joked about it . It was why she always made a quick escape, she came for what she needed. Then she left. And that was that. It always had been. 

That was the agreement. No strings attached. No emotions. No feelings. 

“ you know you don’t have to leave straight away? “ you said as she started picking up her clothes, pulling her tshirt over her head “ you make me feel like one of those whores in the back streets of area 3 “ 

“ why? I don’t pay you “ you rolled your eyes at her bad attempt at a joke and she sighed, buttoning her jeans. 

She had started to notice in the last few months your willingness to let her go when you were done was…. Lessening. You tried to make her talk, or even just talk at her. Prolong her visit. She wasn’t much of a talker, especially when it came to her emotions. Her feelings. And she got the idea that was exactly what you wanted to talk about. 

Maybe she was stupid for letting you seduce her all those months ago, letting herself be drawn in and not cutting it off after the first time. It was nearing a year of her slipping through the zone to your apartment, using you as her personal form of stress relief. 

And maybe she was stupid for thinking you would be able to follow the rules that she had set. That she would be able to follow them herself. Usually her self control was impeccable. But clearly not with you. 

“ maybe you should pay me “ you said with what sounded like you were trying to joke back, but it didn’t quite carry. She walked over to you, tucking her fingers under your chin so you’d look up at her. 

“ maybe I should. You always help me out don’t you sweetheart? “ she said with a smile, brushing her thumb across your jaw. She could see one of the conversations she liked to avoid with you brewing, the kind where you tried to make her stay. Tried to make her talk. The kind that almost always ended up in an argument. She could tell just looking at you, your eyes softening in that way they so often did when you looked at her. Gazing up like she was the most incredible thing you’d ever seen. 

Eyes swimming with affection. Affection that she couldn’t accept. 

Your hand came up to touch her cheek and felt like fire. Like your fingertips were molten and scolding her skin. And that look in your eyes… 

" Tess.. "

" don't " she stopped you before you could be even remotely caring towards her. It was always the same. She always ran. She was always scared of letting you in, letting you break the last barricades she had up against you. The second you cracked her she was done for. The second she let you in this entire thing was ruined. She kept you at arms length because she had to, because she was too old for you. She was too dangerous. 

She couldn’t. 

She wondered if you knew her own control was slipping. If you knew she only pushed you away because she had to and that was why you’d taken to trying to make her talk more. Could you see the chink in her armour? Could you see that weak spot hiding and were trying to push at it?

She figured you did. 

" are you okay? " she turned her head, your hand dropping from her cheek. Her skin still burnt. She could still feel you there. She always could. Your fingerprints were practically burned into her skin, a trail of everywhere you had touched her. Marking her in a way only she could see and feel. 

How could she be okay when she felt like you were all over her? on her skin and in her mind. 

" I'm fine " she lied. 

" that's always your fuckin answer " you muttered, annoyance filtering into your words.

" because im always fine " she sighed, annoyance in her own voice as she pulled her jacket on ready to flee the situation. Fearing that one day you’d bring up that conversation and she’d crack. And she couldn’t. She couldn’t. 

" no one is always fine Tess. You act like you’re so fucking strong all the time… but you can’t pretend with me. I see you " she gave a short laugh and grabbed her bag. Checking her gun was loaded and shoving it into her back pocket, it was past curfew after all. You sat up, holding the sheets to your chest as your eyes followed her as she collected up your clothes from the floor. 

" well, I am " she dropped them next to you and you grabbed her arm before she could leave. She avoided your eyes at first, her jaw tightening. She didn’t want to deal with this conversation tonight. Or any night for that matter. She needed to get out of that damn apartment. 

" Tess " she closed her eyes for a moment before meeting yours. They always looked so sad, like so much was going on behind those beautiful eyes. You wished she'd talk to you, she knew that. She knew you were silently begging for her to stay. To tell you what you wanted to hear. Wished she'd sit down and just spill every single trouble she had, confide in you. Trust you. But she couldn’t trust anyone. Not with emotions like that. 

Deep down she wanted to. Wanted to stay and tell you that it would probably end up with both of you dead, but something was prickling in her chest every time she looked at you. Every time she was around you. But she knew it would only end in disaster. 

" I'm fine sweetheart. Alright? Look I got shit to do oka- " 

" I dont believe you "

" I'm not asking you to " she pulled slightly at your grip but you didn't let her go. And maybe that in itself was a little win for you, because she very easily could shake herself from your grip if she wanted to. You weren’t even holding her tightly and she was far stronger than you anyway. But she didn't. She stood there with your fingers wrapped around her wrist, letting you have that. Part of her wishing she could give in. 

" you can talk to me. You don't have to leave 30 seconds after you fuck me you know. I don't know why you're so scared of me " she scoffed again at that “ or does only Joel get to hear your secrets huh? “ she shook her head and did let herself free from your grasp then, running a hand over face with a sigh. 

That was another thing about you. You’d started suspecting you were just her side thing, that she was fucking Joel and then going around to you for seconds. Which was stupid. Both of you knew that, you were just getting desperate clearly. 

Little did you know she hadn’t been with a single other person since she’d met you. Least of all Joel. 

" scared of you. Please " she shook her head with a slightly bitter laugh, shaking off those thoughts “ sweetheart I hate to break it you but you’re least scary person in this entire fuckin QZ alright" she placed her hands on her hips in a way that demanded authority, that served as a reminded of who was in charge. Who was the boss. A reminder that she had the power there and you didn’t, and that wasn’t about to change “ that's not our arrangement. We don't... talk you know that. You said you were okay with that. It works. Don't rock the fuckin boat. Be a good girl, do as you’re told " her tone was almost condescending, mocking. Further reminding you to get back in line. She was being mean. She always was. But it worked and kept you in place where she needed you to be. 

" right. Okay whatever " you pulled your clothes back on and stood up yourself as she headed for your door. But she stopped before she could reach for the handle, turning back around again. 

She was curious about what had brought on tonight’s particular round of questions. They were getting more frequent. 

" why are you doing this? " you raised an eyebrow clearly urging her to elaborate " this... trying to- we agreed no strings. This only works if we stay that way. If you listen " it was your turn to scoff and you folded your arms. 

" I think you ruined that yourself when you turned up here with a bag of illegal shit last month Tess. You’re the one that pulled me into the shit you apparently wanted to keep me away from. So don’t give me that bullshit that this only works if you do this stupid fleeing act every time you come over here because you wanna fuck and forget " 

She’d turned up with a bloody nose and her hood up, pushing into your apartment before you could even invite her in. She hadn’t known where else to go. She was tangled in a mess of some wannabe crime boss and had bitten off slightly more than she could chew. She’d thought going to you would be safe. There was nothing to link her to you, no reason why she’d go to you. 

But 2 nights later you'd been jumped on your way home from a work assignment. You’d have died if she and Joel hadn’t turned up, Tess getting some strange feeling that something was going down, deciding to go check on you only to find you blacked out with two thugs searching your pockets. 

She had kind of been forced to be a little more open with you after that. Though she still wasn’t exactly an open book because if you knew everything?  she’d scare you away she knew it. If you knew the stuff she did, the gritty details of how she and Joel had made their way up the ladder of command in Boston.  They didn’t get where they were by trading friendship bracelets. 

She had told you she'd regretted going to you the moment she'd arrived, that she shouldn't have put you in that position. That danger. Yet also convinced no one would ever suspect she would go to you. Yet someone had clearly followed her. And then you. In honestly she’d never been so scared for your safety like that. Or anyone’s for that matter. And that concerned her. Because she wasn’t supposed to care. 

Yet she clearly was. 

She’d stayed in your apartment for 2 days after the attack. Sitting like a guard dog at your door in case someone tried to break in. She didn’t think she’d actually slept at all in those two days. She’d tended to your wounds, watched out the window like a hawk, brought you food. 

That wasn’t the actions of someone that didn’t care. In fact it was quite the opposite 

" you know why I had to do that. The whole reason I came to you was because we had no strings. There was nothing to connect us " it stung a little. She could tell, something flickering across your face. But you were both used to it. Hurting each other " I didn't know someone would follow me. I didn't think- look I'm not getting into this tonight. I came here because I was stressed, you're meant to help me relax and right now you're just giving me a fuckin headache sweetheart " 

" right because that's all I'm good for for you isn't it? Stress relief? I’m not a fucking toy you know! God you're a fucking dick sometimes Tess, pushing people around for your own fuckin amusement right? " now it was her time to be stung. Just a little. 

She didn’t want you thinking that. But she needed you to. She’d rather you hate her and be safe than feel for her and be battered to a pulp by some nobody in a back alley. 

And she knew even if you did hate her you’d never lock her out. She had you by the throat and both of you knew it. You were putty in her hand and she knew how to press and mould you to exactly how she wanted. And you let her. 

" why do you care? " you laughed at that like it was the stupidest thing she had ever said. 

" because I do " 

" that's not an answer " 

" yeah well neither is 'I'm fine' when you clearly aren't so I guess we're both even huh?  " you'd got her there, her jaw clenching again. Maybe you both got off on the arguing like that. Maybe you liked pushing her buttons as much as she enjoyed pushing yours " do you care? Huh? Does that fuckin cold heart in there even know what caring is? " 

" do you think I'd be here if I didn't? " she snapped and she'd got you. For once she truly had rendered you speechless with that it seemed. It was pathetic really. The absolute bottom of the barrel bare minimum and yet it made your eyes widen, soften. 

" you don't act like it " all your anger had gone from your words. You sounded weak now. She didn’t like the way it made her chest ache. It made her angry. Annoyed. Annoyed that you kept making her feel. 

" I saved your life and I protect you every single day. And this is my thanks? Damn sweetheart, who’s the one with cold heart now hey? " she said and walked over to you in a way that would have been intimidating if you didn't know her, if you didn't know she'd never lay an agressive finger on you. A way that would make anyone else back up. But you held your ground. Maybe it was still a little intimidating though, the way she saw your breath catch. But you liked that and she knew you did " you think only one person tried to get you? Just that one I saved your ass from in the street? These kind of guys don't just stop at one person " she gave it a moment. Let it sink in. 

Let you know that she had been taking care of you without you even knowing it. Telling you she felt something without really having to say it. 

She tucked her fingers under your chin and for a moment she almost wanted to kiss you. Seeing you looking up at her like that. So vulnerable and innocent. So far from what she was. But she didn’t. She never kissed you. Never on the lips anyway. That was too… intimate. Kissing meant feelings. 

She couldn’t feel things. She couldn’t have you feeling things. 

" I- " 

" I have a lot of people that don’t like me. That want what me and Joel have " her voice was low, almost threatening. She needed you to listen, to shake you out of the mood you were in " you think you wouldn't be the first person they'd go for if they knew about you? They go for who they think will hurt the most. They find a weak spot and they break it "

" I didn't know " you whispered 

" of course you didn't. That's the whole fuckin point. I stop things before you even know they exist. People. You know what they'd do to you if they ever got their hands on you? Is that what you want me to tell you? “

“ Tess- “

“ will that make you fuckin listen to me? Hmm? If I tell you about how they'd hurt you? Kidnap you? You think they’d go easy on you? You’re young. You’re beautiful. Do you need me to tell you how much fun they’d have breaking you? " her voice remained steady. Low. Intimidating. Of course she’d never let anyone do those things, she’d protect you with her life. But if telling you about was what it took to make you stop feeling things. Then she’d do it. 

" Tess stop- "

" these aren't nice people. I don't deal with nice fuckin people. You really want to involve yourself in that? In my life? Put yourself at risk like that? " 

" you're scaring me stop " you whispered, the message seemingly sinking in. 

" good, it should fuckin scare you. So stop asking questions, be a good girl and do as you’re told. Okay? " she held your gaze for a moment before her eyes flickered away, her other hand slipped down around your waist and over your ass, giving a light squeeze. Solidifying the reason she was there, remind you the reason she had turned up at your door. Maybe more to herself than to you at that point" thank you for tonight " then she let you go and headed back for the door again, the moment over " I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart " 

To your surprise you followed her out into the hall and she wondered if you were trying to lure her back in again. You always did love arguing with her. 

" no. You know don't bother. Seeing as I'm so stressing for you, right? And I’m your weak spot right? Go see if you can find someone else to put up with you like I do " you said in a harsh whisper, not exactly keen on airing your dirty laundry in the hallway for your neighbours to hear apparently. She turned back to you as she headed for the stairs at the end of the hall, and couldn’t help the smirk that found its way onto her face. 

You were cute when you were trying to be angry. Telling her to fuck off like you so often did when she made you mad or told you some home truths. 

" you're funny " she simply said, knowing it would only wind you up further and made her way down the stairs, leaving you to stew on your anger with her for the night. 

She knew you didn’t really mean it. She knew you couldn’t stay angry at her. That no matter what she said to you you would be waiting for her the second she knocked on your door again. And maybe that was wrong. Or toxic. 

But it was also keeping you safe. 

It was raining as she slipped out of your apartment building. It was barely past 7 and already pitch black outside, the winter rain icy against her skin. But she almost didn’t mind the dark. It meant she could hide better as she slipped through the back alleys, avoiding patrols with ease. She knew every rotation in her area like the back of her hand, and the other areas for that matter. So she made it back to her apartment undetected. Wet and cold. But undetected. 

Tess walked into the dark of her apartment with a deflated sigh. Closing the door and tossing the keys onto the kitchen counter before flicking on the lamp, only to startle as she found Joel sitting at the kitchen table. 

“ what the fuck Joel! “ 

“ well good evenin to you too “ she held a hand over her chest, feeling her heart hammering away as she took a deep breath to try slow it down. 

“ I’m too tired for you to be sitting around in the dark you fuckin dick “ Joel simply shrugged and she felt his eyes on her as she rummaged around in the kitchen to find a glass, hoping a glass of water would steady her again “ why are you sitting in the dark? In fact why the fuck are you even here? Go home “

“ I had a headache. And I you know that is not a nice thing to say to a guest in your home “

“ guests are invited. They don’t let themselves in and sit in the fuckin dark and damn near give me a heart attack Joel “ she shed her wet jacket and sat down opposite him, noticing a welt on his cheek that hadn’t been there that morning “ the fuck happened to you? “

“ some fucker working for Farris happened to me “ Tess sighed and ran a hand over her face, a headache threatening to pool behind her own temples “ where the fuck were you? “ her fingers itched to go grab the bottle of whiskey she knew was in the cupboard above the sink. It would certainly make this conversation easier. But she resisted, knowing it would only make the headache worse tomorrow morning. 

“ I was busy “

“ busy fuckin your little thing on the other side of 4? “ she clenched her jaw at the unsavoury tone he had. She knew what he thought of you. She knew that he just thought you were a distraction. But she also knew he wouldn’t prod too deeply into the harsher thoughts he had, because she had plenty of her own verbal ammo to retaliate with. At least her recreational activities weren’t damaging. Unlike Joel and his Oxy. 

“ it doesn’t matter where I was. What matters is Farris is getting too big for his fuckin boots. And we need to be careful. We worked hard to get where we are Joel. I won’t throw away the last 8 years of work because some nobody wants to take over our smuggling lines. Alright? “ Joel raised his hand in some show of surrender, leaning back in the chair that creaked under his weight. 

“ so what are we doin about him. Cause if what those fuckers that jumped me tonight said is true, your little doll over the way might be in for one hell of a weekend “ that peaked her interest. Her eyes flying up to meet Joel’s “ now I got your attention huh “ 

“ don’t fuck around with me Joel. What do you know “ he shrugged and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment. 

“ Farris knows we’re the ones that killed the guys that went after her. Some test I guess. Seeing if she really was the way to push your buttons. I guess we proved it to him “ 

“ fuck “ she cursed under her breath, leaning her elbows onto the table and raking her fingers into her hair “ fuck “ she could feel Joel’s eyes on her, burning into her. She was becoming far too slack when it came to you. She was beginning to let her emotions cloud her judgement. And she couldn’t do that. 

For one it was completely pointless to have the emotions in the first place. She was the one that had told you there would be no emotions. No strings. No nothing. Sex. And only sex. Two lonely people getting their required quota of human contact and that was all. 

But she knew you had abandoned that. She knew that you weren’t strong enough to control your emotions and it was rubbing off on her. But she had to be stronger. She needed to be. She couldn’t be with you. 

For one she was too old. Even the fucking wasn’t exactly the best of plans, she was holding all your attention when you could go out and find someone your own age. Someone a little less fucked up. But she was selfish. And she liked you. And she liked the way you looked at her. And maybe it was cruel to say, but she liked how you always came back. No matter what she said or how much she pushed you away. You always came running back to her again, which is what she always wanted. 

She had noticed herself getting a little less… distant. She didn’t really want to push you away even though she knew she should. She wanted you around. She wanted to keep seeing you. 

But it looked like that was starting to become impossible. 

You didn’t deserve the life she was leading. She did things too dangerous for someone as sheltered as you. 

“ well I’ll be damned “ Joel said after a few moments, shaking his head in what seemed to be amusement 

“ is something funny? “ he seemed to debate saying what he was thinking. And she knew he wanted to say it. To say she’d caught feelings. Say she was stupid keeping it going this long. 

“ you gotta cut that off Tess “ he said in the end, clearly avoiding what he really wanted to say to her “ You’re getting too tangled up in whatever the fuck it is you having going on with her. This isn’t you “ 

“ I know “ she whispered, resting her head in her hands for a moment “ I know “ 

She liked to joke and call you naive, but maybe she was the naive one. To think she could go along with someone like you this long and not get attached. 

“ this shit with Farris is serious “

“ yeah Joel I fuckin know “ she snapped, sighing again and sitting back in the chair. She gathered her thoughts, pushed you to the back of her mind. And focused on the business at hand “ so here’s what we’re gonna do “

" fuck that's it. Good girl like that " there you were again. On your knees for her as if you hadn't told her to stay away only a week ago. Her fingers were tugging at your hair, guiding your head at a pace she wanted. Once again letting her use you as a way to relieve her stress. Letting her take what she needed and have the control. And you were a sucker for her so you did it every time. 

So much you not wanting to see her again. So much for her telling Joel it was over.

In fact that was what she had turned up at your place to talk about. To tell you she couldn’t do it anymore, ready to make up some excuses that she’d found someone else. That she was bored. Any excuse that would hurt you enough to stay away from her for real this time. Ready to lie through her teeth and pretend you meant nothing to her in an attempt to keep you safe. 

But you had all but jumped her the second she’d stepped into your apartment, clearly having a stressful day yourself and in the mood to please. 

And having your head between her thighs one last time wasn’t something to complain about she supposed. Especially when you were touching her like that. 

“ that’s my girl, fuck just like that “ she’d miss that. Miss the way you felt smiling against her, how your fingers felt inside of her, the noises you made. 

She’d miss you completely. Not even just the sex. Your eyes. Your smile. Your fearlessness when it came to arguing with her, shouting back without a care. 

But it was for your own good. And maybe her own too. 

She didn’t last much longer, coming on your fingers with a choked moan and tugging probably painfully at your hair before going slack. 

" that's really not why I came to see you you know " she said with a small laugh, pulling her jeans back on and pushing her hair from her damp forehead as the blissful feeling left her as quickly as it had arrived. 

" could've fooled me " you cracked a smile as you said it and rose to your feet. 

She’d really miss you smiling at her like that. Miss the way your eyes practically sparkled anytime you looked at her, clearly such strong admiration and affection that she almost expected to see cartoon hearts floating around your head. 

" I'm serious " you sat beside her and she noticed the way you pressed yourself into her side. And she couldn’t help the way her arm fell across your shoulders, holding you there. Allowing herself that small thing before she pushed you out of her life completely " I just wanted to check on you. Especially after your pissy fuckin mood the other day " 

" thank you " she shrugged and you were both quiet for a few minutes " are you in danger? Am I? " you asked quietly, looking up at her with those big sad eyes. She refused to hold your gaze. 

" what? " 

" what you're doing? Is it dangerous? The people who made you worried so you came to check on me, are they dangerous? " You kind of knew the answer already she was sure of it. She was a smuggler. It wasn’t exactly the safest job in the world right now. You knew she was dangerous and she dealt with dangerous people. She did dangerous things. But you clearly wanted to hear her say it to you. Maybe so you could justify the constant worrying you always did for her. The worrying she always told you not to do. 

But it was okay. You wouldn’t worry for her after today. 

" I’m handling it "

" and if you can’t " 

" i can " 

" but if you can’t " you pressed 

" why are you so Interested? " she asked with a slight sigh, silently hoping she could’ve gotten a few more minutes of peace with you before the argument began “ you think I cant handle myself? “

" I worry about you " as much as you said it it still made her heart ache each time. Not many people cared about her. In fact she was certain it was just you and Joel. It was almost alien now " I always worry. I’ve seen you kill people like it was nothing and I wasn’t afraid, I was concerned you’d hurt yourself. You deal with FEDRA officers Tess. Any one of them could decide one day they’re bored and turn you in. I don’t wanna wake up one day and see your name on the roster for the public fucking hangings " you rambled it all out in practically one breath. 

She didn't respond straight away. Simply kept watching you as the words continued to tumble from your mouth before you bothered to stop them. Not sure what she was supposed to say. She wished she could be like you. So willing to express yourself and so open with your emotions. 

But this situation with Farris was big. And she couldn’t risk it. She had to stay on track. 

" you shouldn't worry so much " you almost seemed like you wanted to laugh. She broke your eye contact, staring at the black screen of the long broken tv instead " I can take care of myself "

" I know you can... it doesn't mean I won't worry. And before you say anything I don't want to hear that stupid no strings conversation again " You turned her face to look at you, hand on her cheek. So tender with her. So gentle. No one touched her tenderly anymore. No one showed her care. 

" Tess... " your voice was a whisper, trailing off as words seemed to fail you at the closeness of her face to yours. Her nose brushed against yours and she so desperately wanted to kiss you. She debated it for a moment, wondering if it would be so bad. She was still going to leave you. She was still going to break your heart, so what did it matter anyway? 

But she feared that as soon as she did so nothing she could say would push you back. You would never let her go after you got the affection you had begged her for for so long. She couldn’t take the risk. 

" don't " her voice stopped you before your lips could touch, low and almost warning, as her hand wrapped around your wrist. 

" please " it sounded weak. Pathetic almost. It made her chest tighten. You were so desperate for love. For love from her. And she couldn’t give it to you. 

" we can't. Not now. We can't " not now was probably a poor choice. It would insight hope. A half promise that the present wasn’t going to work. But maybe the future would. 

" why? " she pulled away from you and got to her feet. Running away. Again. She had to. She had to get out of there before she broke completely. 

" don't do this again for the love of god don’t give me this fuckin conversation again " 

" why can't you just answer me? Honestly. Just tell me why you won't even kiss me for fuck sakes. Why won't you open up to me? Why do you keep pretending you care about me only to kick me to the curb again? " 

" do you think I'd be here if I didn't fucking care? " her voice was rising and you knew you'd just fallen into the same routine of trying to talk and ending up in a fight. But maybe that was okay. That would help. Would make ripping the bandaid a little easier 

" then stop pushing me away! The no strings thing? It’s bullshit! It’s. Bullshit. You think I could be like this with you for this long and not feel something? And I know you feel something too you’re just too fucking stubborn. And I’m tired of pretending I’m not in l- "

" don't. Don't you say it " she turned to you, finger pointing at you in warning. Brow furrowed as it always was " don't. Say it. You say it and I'm gone. I'm gone and I won’t come back " she couldn’t hear you say that word. She knew you were in love. Of course she did. But you’d never said it. And that would be too much for her. That would hurt beyond relief. 

It would hurt you even more. 

You held her gaze for a moment. Debating it. But you looked so tired. You were done clearly. Done listening to her. Done being pushed around. 

" I love you " you said with a shrug, tears pooling at your eyes as you breathed it out despite her warnings, like it couldn't be contained any longer. It wasn't fair " maybe that makes me an idiot. But I do. And I won't pretend I don't anymore " tears fell down your cheeks then and she fought to keep her composure. To remain stony faced and cold. 

Rip the bandaid Tess. 

" you can't. You don't understand. Loving me is... I can't. You can't " she felt more flustered than angry, as if she'd received some detrimental information that was world ending. Her hand raking through her hair. She wanted to walk over, hold your face and wipe your tears. Tell you that yes you were so unbelievably stupid for loving her but she loved you too. She couldn’t “ i have to go “ 

" of course you do " you didn't follow her as she grabbed her jacket and headed for your front door 

" You won't see me again. I'll make sure Joel keeps an eye on you. I’ll make sure you’re safe but. This is it. You won't see me again like this. Whatever this is… it’s done " she hesitated for a moment looking back at your sagged, crying form. It was pity she felt the most. She pitied you. You who had just told her you were in love with her. That you cared.  

She wished she could tell you the truth. Tell you how she felt. But she couldn’t. 

Rip it. 

“ that’s. That’s the whole reason I came here anyway. Me and you it’s- look it’s done okay. I don’t wanna do this with your anymore alright? You don’t listen. All these emotions… we said no strings. And you didn’t listen. We’re done here “ 

" well good. I don't want to see you again anyway, don't ever come back here. Go find someone else to fuck! I don't want to hear from you again "

She didn't respond. Simply clenched her jaw and gave a short nod of her head. 

It had been ripped. 

It was done. 

You despised her. 

She left your building in a hurry, like the air inside was too confining and her chest felt too tight. Outside she took a breath, leaning back against the brick and closing her eyes for a moment. 

“ fuck “ she didn’t know how she felt. Angry. Upset. Both “ fuck! “ she dropped her head into her hands for a moment, trying to steady her breathing before raking her hands through her hair and trying to compose herself. 

She had important things to do. She had to find Farris and make this entire thing worth it. She braced her hands on her knees, taking a moment. And then she stood up and she left. She had to find him. 

Tess didn't exactly recall how she'd ended up in front of your building. Brief flickers in her mind of her and Joel finally tracking down the bastard that had been threatening you, the almost blackout anger that was clouding the memories. Blood. And guns. And knives. the hammering rain against her skin. But she couldn't recall the entire journey properly, or the events of the warehouse in area 4. Just that she was now there. Rain dripping into her eyes, entire body aching now that her adrenaline had worn off. Some muttered excuse to Joel to take their stolen goods back home and that she needed to make sure you were okay. 

She was convinced she’d taken a knife to the shoulder at some point, a dull ache growing stronger by the second. 

But Farris was dead. And that was all that mattered. He was dead. He wouldn’t bother her anymore. Or you. You were safe. 

She knew they were dead. That was a certain thing. They had made him suffer. Did the things she tried so desperately to keep away from you. But it was worth it. But other things she couldn’t quite recall, couldn’t quite separate the real from the make believe. 

She just knew she had to see you. After all she’d done. But you still hated her. She knew that. 

So she didn’t know why she was there. Or why she found her feet carrying her up to your apartment door. Staring at the metal 342 that had faded and tarnished over the the years. 

You wouldn’t see her she was certain. You’d slam the door in her face and tell her to get fucked. 

But she knocked anyway. 

She wanted to explain. Explain how she had had to push you away. Be cruel. Because she felt so unbelievably undeserving of love, especially from someone as incredible as you. Because she felt you deserved better. Someone younger. Someone who didn’t do illegal shit every single day. Someone who could keep you safe. 

But also… she just needed to be around you. To be in your company. To talk to someone other than Joel. He wouldn’t understand. But you would. 

She knocked again. Before she could change her mind and turn around. There was some shuffling around inside your apartment, the sound of the key in the lock. 

You opened the door only a crack, the security chain in front of your face. She almost smiled just at that. You'd listened to her and her worries for your safety. Your eyes fell on her and she waited for you to slam it back in her face, or tell her to fuck off and leave you alone. But you said nothing. You didn't even look that shocked to see her. 

" I didn't know where else to go " her voice sounded far weaker than she'd been expecting, and as though she'd had to force the words out of her throat. She waited for the door slam. Or that bitter laugh you gave her whenever she'd pissed you off or said something stupid that had upset you. 

But instead you closed the door softly, the sound of the security chain dropping and then re opened the door. You looked her up and down before reaching out your hand and gently leading her inside. 

She must have looked a sight. Soaked from the rain and sporting a black eye. And a possible stab wound. But you didn’t comment on it. 

She stood a little awkwardly as you re locked the door. Not knowing what to say at all 

“ shit you’re bleeding “ you said softly, coming up behind her and placing a hand to her aching shoulder “ sit down. You’re making a damn puddle “ 

She sat at the table and shed her button up, your hand gentle as you pushed her tank strap out of the way and examined the wound 

“ knife “ she said before you asked her, hissing through her teeth as you pressed at the tender skin. 

“ stay here “ she watched you go into the bathroom, the sound of cupboards opening and closing for a few moments. She almost wanted to cry. Or scream. It wasn’t natural how nice of a person you were. How no matter how much she pushed you around you still helped her. 

She didn’t deserve your help. Or your care. And yet you were giving it to her so freely. 

“ I’m sorry “ she said when you resurfaced, hands full of stuff to clean her up. 

“ yeah. I know “ you said quietly, dabbing at her wound a little harsher than probably necessary. But she deserved that 

“ I can explain “ 

“ you don’t have to “

“ I need to “

“ I know. You do. You have a lot of shit to explain to me. But… not now Tess. I don’t know where you’ve been or what you’ve done. But you’re in no state to talk tonight. It’s okay. I can wait “ there was no malice in your words, no anger. She was taken aback by it. 

She didn’t deserve you. She didn’t. 

“ I don’t deserve you “ you gave a small laugh behind her and she glanced up at you as you picked up a needle and thread from the table. 

“ you’re right. You don’t. But I’ve been known to have exceptionally bad taste in women “ she closed her eyes as you stitched her up in silence. And for once she felt like a weight was shifting off her shoulders. 

She felt safe there. Protected. Cared for. Like all her emotions of the day, the last few months in fact, came rushing forward. 

“ I didn’t mean what I said “ you sighed again behind her but didn’t berate her for trying to talk again “ I had to it- I did it because- fuck “ her brain refused to string a sentence together, still cloudy and frazzled from days of hunting Farris down. From the fight that had ended it all. From the lack of sleep. 

Maybe she was hallucinating the entire thing. But the dull pain of the needle threading through her skin reminded her she couldn’t be. 

“ you’re not yourself “ you said softly tying off the the thread and placing a gentle hand to her shoulder as you rounded her “ look at me “ 

You held her face in your hands, holding her head up so she had no choice but to look at you. She could almost see the cogs whirring away inside your head, trying to read her expression. But Tess was a notoriously hard nut to crack. Able to read a room in a second but impossible to read herself “ look. Tess. I’m serious. You don’t need to explain tonight. You can take your time. It’s okay. You don’t have to pretend to be something in here. It’s just me “ 

She closed her eyes and let out a deflated sigh. Maybe she shouldn’t have visited you tonight. Maybe she should’ve gathered her thoughts and tried in the morning when her brain would actually allow her to string together a coherent sentence. 

“ I’m sorry “ 

“ I know you are “ her own hands came up to cover yours, looking at your eyes that were swimming with sympathy. Pity. From anyone else she would’ve hated it. But from you it made her chest tighten. 

“ I don’t deserve you “ she repeated in a whisper “ I don’t. All that I’ve done to you all that I’ve said- “

“ shh. Not tonight. You can do your explaining. And your grovelling. In the morning. And before you protest you’re staying here tonight. Send you out like this fuckin FEDRA will capture your ass before you even reach the end of the street “ 

She did want to protest, she’d never stayed overnight. But she didn’t have the energy. Or the heart. 

“ I’ll go find you some clothes yeah? “ you let her go and turned to walk away but she stood up and grabbed at your arm. You tilted your head to the side, a flash of confusion on your face “ everything okay? “ 

“ I will explain. Tomorrow I mean. I’ll explain everything. And I’ll grovel. I’ll do whatever the fuck you want me to until you believe that I’m sorry “ she took a step to close the distance between you both, cupping your face in her hands “ I was scared “ 

“ you’re not scared of anything are you? “ you said quietly with a smile on your face. There was a lot she was scared of. And most of those things boiled down to you. She was terrified of anyone hurting you. Terrified of losing you. Terrified of the way that you made her feel. 

But she couldn’t find the words to tell you that. Not tonight. 

So she showed you instead. 

She leaned in slowly, giving you every chance to push her back and tell her not to. She wouldn’t blame you for it. But you didn’t. She kissed you in a way that could only be described as tender. Barely even touching her lips to yours at first, still waiting for you to shove your hands against her chest and tell her to get out. 

But you didn’t. You stepped closer, you warm hands sliding over her bare arms and up to twist your fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck. So she placed a hand to your back, pulling you in as close as she could, pressing your warm body to her cold and damp one. It made you shiver and she wondered if it was from her rain soaked shirt touching you or because of the kiss. 

She hoped for the latter. 

She kissed you in a way she had never kissed anyone else. Slowly, passionately. Expressing every single word of affection she had kept from you into every press of her lips to yours. 

she didn’t know how long it had been, just that you seemingly had no intentions of breaking away and she wasn’t about to either. So you kissed until her lungs began to protest, reluctantly detaching her lips from yours but not moving more than an inch or two away. 

She’d lied to herself before she thought. That this was actually when you looked the prettiest. 

“ I think that was a pretty good apology “ you whispered, your breath fanning onto her lips in a way that made her shiver “ you still have to grovel “ 

“ I’m aware sweetheart. I’m aware “ 

[wannaeatramyeon]

HOWWW DO U WRITE SO FAST AND SO WELL I LITERALLY TAKE WEEKS TO WRITE ANYTHING WORTHWHILE YET U ARE ABLE TO CHURN THESE THINGS OUT IN A HEARTBEAT ITS SO IMPRESSIVE

this time could u maybe do jake kim with a childhood friends!lover? im just imagining him with someone whose dad is also from the pre-generation, sorta like jerry (he can have a cameo we love that bad boy <3)

I'm pretty impulsive as a person... and when something grips me then. I need to do it. Luckily I don't have too much going on irl lmao so I have a lotta free time.

Jake Kim x Reader: Childhood friends

G/N.

"Smile when you're spoken to. Stay silent and out of sight when you're not."

It's important. You must follow these two pieces of instruction at all cost.

You nod when your dad reminds you again, squatting down to adjust your collar and your hair.

"Come on then, little one," he says, smiling softly. He doesn't hold his hand out as he usually does, leaving you to trail behind. Almost tripping over your shoelaces in an effort to keep up with his large strides.

.

.

Gapryong Kim's house is impressive, much more impressive than your apartment.

It's big and spacious. Ample room to run around and play. Your eye passes over the expensive breakable vases and severe decor, instead focusing on the long corridors and small nooks and crannies perfect for hiding.

You're shuffled off into a corner, not before being introduced to the owners, your dad's boss, first. You remember to smile and say hello back with full honorifics when Gapryong and Minseon greets you. Bowing at a full ninety degrees just like you had practised.

You find it hard not to fidget as you sit by the doorway. Bored and eyes occasionally falling closed at whatever is happening, not understanding the words or sentences as the adults talk in the centre of the room.

A gangly boy pokes his head around, holds out his hand, and you startle at his appearance. "Come on. This is boring, let's go."

Stay silent and out of sight. This counts, right?

You look over at your dad and find him observing you two. He gives you a small smile and a nod and you take this boy's hand.

.

.

His name is Jake Kim.

His name is Jake Kim and he's Gapryong's son. He walks the corridors with a quiet confidence and self assured stride. Hands behind his head and chewing his gum loudly.

He asks for your name and you tell him. He repeats it back to you with a grin and says it's cool, then digs in his pocket to offer you a stick of gum.

You spend hours in his bedroom together. Reading through comics and talking about nothing in particular as children often do. Only occasionally interrupted by adults bringing in drinks and snacks. Until the sun sinks and sunset oranges and reds filter through his window.

"It's amazing here!" you say, cheeks stuffed with hotteok and spraying crumbs everywhere.

Jake only shrugs.

.

.

You see Jake regularly after that.

You ask to tag along, and at first your dad is reluctant. You plead and whine and promise to be on your best behaviour and he gives in.

Gapryong and Minseon are always pleased to see you. Jake is even more so.

.

.

Jake is sullen and reserved around his parents but he smiles and laughs a lot with you.

He teases and jokes when it's just the two of you and you think he might be the funniest boy you've ever met.

You ask him who his favourite bands are and he doesn't know. When you tell him yours, he also doesn't know who they are. You gasp in shock and pull out your phone and headphones from your bag, pass him an earbud and listen to the sound of perky k-pop together.

"They're ok." Jake tells you with a grin, "I've heard better."

You give him a shove for that.

.

.

"Here," Jake gives you the last cookie and your greedy hands take it without a second thought.

He always gives you the last of everything. Watch you fervently fill your face in both disgust and awe.

"How do you eat so much!" he tries to give you a pinch, and you giggle, ducking out of the way. "You eat more than me!"

You smile, opening your mouth wide with half chewed food and he pretends to gag.

It never occurs to you how, whenever you visit, only your favourite snacks are served.

.

.

"This is Jerry,"

You look up at the boy next to Jake, and your neck seems to crane for a lifetime before finally resting on his face.

"You're huge!" You say, a little mean.

"Am not!" Jerry responds back to you, face flushing red. You give Jerry your half eaten snack as an apology and he accepts.

Jake grins, slinging his arm around the two of you, dragging you both out into the courtyard and away from the adults talking.

.

.

You sit shoulder to shoulder with Jake, Jerry on his other side. The house is filled with people dressed in black. Tears and sighs and subdued mutterings.

Jake doesn't cry today, neither does Minseon. He just stares at the portrait of his dad, not saying a word all day.

Your dad has smoked more today than you have ever seen in your life.

Eventually, when the alcohol is flowing and the adults get too rowdy, you sit with Jake in his bedroom. For hours and hours, just like the first time. Long after Jerry and most of the other adults have left. You hold him, tucking him into your side and he leans into your warmth.

His face is on your shoulder, so is a wetness. You don't say anything and keep holding him until your body is stiff and your knees hurt. You still don't move. You're there for as long as Jake needs you.

.

.

Jake's smile returns, after some time.

It doesn't quite feel the same though. You feel his childhood sweetness fading away and you don't know how to hold on to it.

.

.

There is a brief moment in time, during your friendship with Jake, where your growth spurt kicks in and you're taller than him.

You tiptoe and rest your elbow on his head. It's uncomfortable. He's still too tall, and you're not tall enough to make the pose work. Yet, you still do it every opportunity you get.

The opportunity does not last long.

Jake is gangly, grows ganglier still. He shoots up like bamboo and you think there's no stopping him.

You think he might be the tallest middle schooler in the world... until you see Jerry again and you think he is definitely the tallest middle schooler in the world.

.

.

Jake doesn't know when it hits him.

One day you're just you. His best friend that he has known forever. Goofy and silly. Snorts when they laugh, talks with their mouth full.

The next, your hair is shiny and your lashes are long. He thinks you smell nice and your smile makes him feel like he's dying in the best way possible.

Jerry catches him watching you and encourages him to confess.

Jake grimaces at the thought, at his transparency. His words come out indecipherable and muffled against his pillow.

Jerry doesn't say anything, just laments the fact he might be the third wheel forever.

.

.

It should be simple. Like you two becoming friends. Easy and uncomplicated.

Jake's natural charm is nowhere to be found. Having always been comfortable in his body, he now feels his legs are too long, his limbs too lanky around you. He stumbles over his feet more often than not. Finds himself tongue tied and red cheeked.

"What's wrong with you!" your hands grab onto his shirt, yanking him back upright as he trips for the third time in as many minutes.

.

.

Jake has always been cute. With his chubby cheeks and sharp eyes and kind smile.

Today, he tries out a wink on you (and you wonder where the hell he has picked that from), you can't help but think he's handsome too.

.

.

You and Jake still hang out frequently in his bedroom.

Minseon asks that he keeps the door open at all times, something she has never requested before, and you both burn crimson.

.

.

"Help me," Jake pouts, thrusting his school work at you. It's a Physics problem and he knows you suck at Physics.

You're both lying on your front on his bed, pressed at the shoulders.

"Burn it." You tell him and he laughs, sweeping all the books and stationery to the floor and turning onto his back.

"Sorry," you put down your phone and look at him. Has he always had those golden flecks in his eyes?

"Don't be." He sighs. "I think I'm gonna be held back a year."

"Aw Jake," You giggle, running your fingers through his hair, "You're definitely going to be the tallest in your class then."

He grabs your hand, stopping it mid-movement and rolls his eyes fondly. "You're a shit."

He doesn't let go. You forget how to breathe.

.

.

Jake has promised you ice cream, and you wait for him outside Gangseo Middle School.

He introduces you to Brad Lee and Jason Yoon and their eyes widen in recognition at your name.

"Oh, so that's-" Brad starts before receiving a sharp elbow in the stomach from Jason.

"Sorry Ma'am!" Ma'am?!

Jason gives you a bow, tells you it's nice to finally meet you and drags Brad away.

.

.

"What have you told them about me?"

Jake is shifty. Fidgety. He avoids your eyes and concentrates on his cone of ice-cream. Pretends he doesn't hear you even as you lean into his space.

"Jake Kim, I know you haven't suddenly gone deaf."

A bubble of laughter escapes his throat. He still doesn't say anything.

"Fine," You click your tongue in annoyance. "Be like that."

.

.

"I told them I like you." Jake catches you off guard a few weeks later. When you're lying on his floor watching a video on your phone, hand inside a bag of potato chips.

"Huh?"

"Brad and Jason," Jake rubs the back of his neck, "I told them that I like you."

Wait, what?!

You catch a glimpse of yourself in his full length mirror. You hair unbrushed and unwashed, dressed in your favourite, most comfortable thread bare outfit, potato chip crumbs around your mouth and down your front.

The most bizarre question grips you. "Even right now?"

Jake frowns, looks at you as if you're stupid. "Yeah?"

"Oh." It feels like a realisation, even though it's not. Not really. Not with the way you two are around each other.

You don't look at Jake as you return his affection, telling him you like him too, shy and cheeks flushed.

His response mirrors yours, "Oh."

You chance a peek at him and he looks as red as you feel. You don't think you've ever seen Jake blush before. It's deeply endearing and you sear the image into your heart forever.

"What now then?" you ask. Because if you both like each other then...

Jake plops down next to you, giving you a shrug accompanied with the sweetest smile you have ever seen. He takes your hand, greasy and food stained and all, and interwines your fingers together.

"I dunno. I should take you out on a proper date."

You nod, but it doesn't matter.

You look at your hand in his, think about taking his hand for the first time all those years ago and realise you've been each other's since the beginning.

[froggyfics]

The Deadliest Poisons Are The Sweetest - 5

Your wedding day arrives.

Note: (09/15/23) PLEASE READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER. If you have read this series before this date, please note that I have combined chapters 1 and 2 together. This may seem confusing, but I have decided that as a creative approach, I would like the chapters to be longer. Therefore, the original chapter 4 is now chapter 3. Chapter 4 is new. This chapter and beyond are up to date.

Btw y'all it's gonna get saucy in the next chapter lmao

Feedback is always appreciated. Feel free to message me privately or comment below to let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome!

Word Count: 4,844

This is the closest you’ve been with him in weeks. The intimacy of the moment is warped however, with underlying feelings of inadequacy. 

This is your wedding day. Yet, you feel as though you are imposter. You can feel the red-hot glares of the jealous maidens in the crowd. After all, you are marrying the most eligible bachelor in the entire realm. If only they knew that you felt sick to your stomach, and you wished that they were in your place. 

You don’t even look him in the eyes. You stare at his mouth, as if you needed to do so in order to understand the vows.

“I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

No, you won’t, you say to yourself. You led me to believe that we could be more, but you tricked me! 

He places a ring on your finger. Your hand suddenly feels like it’s weighed down by a ton of bricks. You nearly choke on your vows as they stumble out of you. When you arrived in Gotham a month ago, you were admittedly excited for this day. However, Damian’s icy demeanor as of late has left you bitter. How could it be possible to be so close with someone one day, and then completely cold the next. It befuddled you. Damianbefuddled you. 

Your vows were sealed with a chaste kiss. Cheers and whoops erupted from the crowd. Through the noise, you could distinctly hear your father’s booming claps and mother’s animated laughs. Of course they were happy! Their daughter was married off – to a prince no less. Your marriage ensured a lifetime of stability and wealth for them. Not bad for a baron and baroness. 

You wobble to the great hall for the wedding banquet with Damian’s hand clasped in your own. It wasn’t your choice to make physical contact – he was the one that initiated.

“Weddings are the end of their lives as they know it. The beginning of a prison sentence. The end of youth.”

This is an act. You must admit, if acting was a respectable career choice, Damian would be a top-notch performer. The vows meant nothing. The kiss was expected. The hand holding was necessary for the performance. 

You sat right next to your husband. Aristocrats, both strangers and now familiar faces, approach to wish glad tidings upon you and Damian. You accept their kind words as politely as you can. All the while, you twist your ring, round and round, underneath the table. 

You light up when Rachel approaches the table. A genuine smile finally crosses your face.

“Lady Rachel!” you call out excitedly. 

You jump when you feel Damian’s presence near your ear.

“How do you know of Lady Rachel?” he asks.

You gape at him while Rachel curtsies shyly. His question is not shocking – you chalk it up to mere curiosity. It’s the fact that he’s talking…to you! Willingly. And the conversation does not revolve around simple greetings or pleasantries. 

You can’t even answer him. Anger bubbles inside of you. He almost completely ignores you for four weeks and now suddenly acts like you should be receptive to his conversation. You have half a mind to ignore him in favor of speaking to Rachel. However, the ring sits heavy on your finger, and you suddenly remember your place. 

He is now your husband. He is the heir to the throne. If there is anyone you should hold your tongue towards, it’s him. 

“We met one week ago,” you reply. Rachel beams at you while you recount how you met her. 

“We’ve only become closer and closer, day by day.” You hold your hand towards her, and she takes it affectionately. 

“The princess is right,” Rachel adds. “It is almost like we have known each other our entire lives.”

Damian speaks only after he gulps his entire drink quickly. “Well, wife,” he emphasizes when he grabs your hand, “I am glad you have made a friend in Gotham.”

He smiles menacingly. You can tell by the way his lips unnaturally stretch over his teeth and the reddening of his face. 

Rachel glances at your conjoined hands and clears her throat. “Well, I just wanted to say that I wish for the two of you to be happy.” She raises her cup and you raise yours with your other hand in support.

“To the happy couple,” she concludes. The edge of the cup reaches her lips, but she does not drink. She instead curtsies once more and disappears among the crowd of people.

As soon as she leaves, Damian releases your hand, wiping his palm on his pants as if you were a leper. You clench your teeth so hard that they squeak in retaliation. You manage to take deep breaths to calm yourself – in and out, in and out, in and out. It’s truly an act for him. 

Everyone looks to be so happy. Not for you, of course not. They are happy for their own selfish reasons. Guests are fed the most delicious food and drink that the realm has to offer. Your parents rub elbows with highly ranked aristocrats. Your siblings dance merrily along the aisles. King R’as laughs heartedly a few seats away from Damian while speaking to his friends. Even Talia seems to be in a cheerful mood, scarfing down her food. 

Perhaps you can attempt to be happy, too. It is your wedding day after all. You inhale deeply to gather confidence.

“Husband.”

Damian doesn’t acknowledge you.

You clear your throat and repeat yourself once more.

He doesn’t even look up from his plate.

“Damain!” you half-shout.

His head shoots up immediately. “Yes, wife?”

You want to punch him in the throat. His polite tone seems genuine, but it sounds fake to your ears. 

“Are you…” You scan the great hall. “Are you enjoying the festivities?”

He nods his head slowly like he has trouble understanding your question. “Quite.” He returns to his plate.

You growl, but say no more. After all, there is no point making a concerted effort at conversation now when you apparently have the rest of your life to do so. You might as well take what little enjoyment you have now and ignore the glaring loneliness that dwells within you. 

The wedding took place at noon, but the reception continues well past sunset. You did not even know that there existed so much food in the entire city. Drinks flowed like a river all night long. Some people fell asleep in their seats, despite the rambunctious behaviors of others. Some people danced and danced until you thought their feet would fall off. 

You remain glued to your seat nearly the entire reception. There were a few moments where you stretched your feet, such as when the guests stacked cakes on top one another, so that you and Damian could kiss over them. You managed to peck each other’s lips without the cakes collapsing to the ground, which made the audience break out into cheers. After all, if the cakes fell, it symbolized bad luck for your marriage. 

As if you needed any more of that already. 

The reception seemed like it would never end. Your posture slowly deteriorated over the hours, until you were slumped in your chair. Muscle aches began to surface for sitting for so long. You wanted the night to be over. 

“Damian!” R’as called.

Damian pushes the table to make room to get up. He travels just a few feet farther to his grandfather who whispers something in his ear. Whatever was said made Damian stiffen and glance at you.

You suddenly develop that prickly feeling when you feel like someone is talking about you. Damian’s glance made you certain that you were the subject of their conversation. The realization made you shift in your seat. You decide to study the wooden table to distract yourself from your insecurity. 

A tap on your shoulder breaks your concentration. You find Damian looking down at you with a stoic expression. As usual, you can never determine what he’s thinking.

“Follow me,” he bluntly says. 

He doesn’t move an inch and you don’t realize until a few moments later that he expects you to get up first. You push yourself from the table and slowly stand up. You’ve been sitting for so long that your knees crack upon straightening. 

Damian maneuvers you so that you remain in front of him. He’s mere inches behind you and his hands fix themselves to your waist. He pushes you forward, directing you towards the door. 

The once lively room suddenly quiets down, until cheers are erupted once more.

You peer behind you to see that nearly everyone is looking directly at you. Men are jeering, throwing their hands in the air. Your father kisses your mother’s forehead while she blows a kiss towards you. Women are clapping obnoxiously. You face forward once again in mortification when you realize that they are cheering for your consummation. Everyone knows that you are walking out the hall a virgin – only to become a true wife by tomorrow. 

You look back again, scanning the crowd for Rachel. She has been one of the few sources of support you’ve had as of late. You just want to look at her, to search for comfort in her eyes. You find her violet eyes eventually, only for your humiliation to turn into sadness. Her eyes do not necessarily brim with tears, but they are certainly glossy. 

You give her a comforting smile as the door to the hall opens. 

Don’t be sad for me, you want to say to her, but the door of the hall closes before your message can be relayed through your eyes. 

Damian continues pushing you from behind through the castle. You are eventually brought to an all-too familiar, yet unfamiliar room. 

It certainly has changed since you were in here last, all those years ago. Damian’s room still exudes extravagance, worthy of an heir. However, small details have changed.

There are several arms-related items laying around. A full armor suit sits at the corner of the room. Several weapons – swords, axes, morning stars – are hung on the walls. Papers are strewn across the room. They’re on his desk and dresser and end tables. Most importantly, the room feels larger than it did when you were a child. Well, that was probably due to the fact that you felt smaller now than you did then. 

The door behind you slams shut. You jump in surprise at the loud noise and see Damian leaning on the door.

You hate it. You hate that you feel so nervous. It’s all too much. This room brings back happy memories that you cannot – should not – dredge up in fear of living in the past. You stand in a room, alone, for the first with someone known as your husband. Someone who is actually a stranger to you still. You can’t help but look down. It may be due to submission or shyness; you’re not entirely sure. All you know is that your girlhood has officially ended, and adulthood is crashing upon you.

You see his shoes from your peripheral. He stands toe-to-toe with you. You can’t bear to look him in the face. No good could come from falling for those green eyes. 

He cautiously raises his hands to your waist. You grow numb as he removes your belt. Your dress puffs out into a shapeless blob. 

He grabs your shoulder and turns you around, your back facing him. You can feel your dress loosening as he undoes your corset, one string at a time. Your breathing quickens at the intimacy of the act. You’ve had maybe two decent conversations with this man, and now, he has full access to your body. The discomfort makes you twitch.

“Raise your arms,” he commands. And you listen. He reaches down to hem of your dress, and pulls upward. You become blind momentarily until your dress is fully removed, and all that remains is your paltry smock. You feel overexposed. Your shoulders, arms, and legs are bare. Bare! You instinctively cover yourself the best you can with your arms, but Damian, while still behind you, firmly grabs your forearms to place them at your side. You gasp when he places a quick kiss on the back of your head.

You remain stuck in place despite hearing the crumpling of clothes behind you and await for Damian to direct you. There’s a creak, and several more creaks, and the crinkling of sheets.

“Come.”

You turn around and are met with a shirtless Damian, already beneath the sheets. He pats the unoccupied space next to him, and you follow his orders. You slink underneath the sheets and lay flat on your back, burning holes into the ceiling. The only sounds that could be heard is your breathing and the crackle of the fireplace. 

You await for his orders once more. And wait. And wait. And wait some more, even as he slips completely underneath the sheets completely. From your peripheral vision, you can see that he turns his back towards you. You bite your lips nervously and you dare lift your arm up in an attempt to touch him.

“Good night.”

His words make your arm drop back down onto the mattress. The finality of his words make you close your eyes. There is nothing to do, nothing to expect. He is an actor, and you are at the whim of his play.

The extinguished fire from the fireplace doesn’t wake you. Neither does the blearing sun peeking from behind the curtains. What does wake you are the stomps of your ladies-in-waiting. 

Your eyelids instantly open, the crust that developed during the night making it difficult at first. 

“Princess, it is time to wake,” Matilda says in a voice that it all too loud this early in the morning. She wretches the curtains open and sunlight streams in. You hiss at the light, still walking the line between unconsciousness and alertness.

Joan grabs your shoulders and heaves you into a sitting position. In a militaristic approach, Joan, Matilda, and Honora perform your morning routine. You’ve had a month to adjust to their “help”, but it has only become slightly easier to tolerate their grubby hands and rude shoves. You can only say – Ouch! – so many times until you realize they do not care if they cause you pain. You are a job for them. They may be your household staff, but they are certainly still Talia’s minions. 

The hubbub of the morning almost makes you forget where you are and what had happened the night before. You glance at the spot Damian was sleeping just a few hours prior. In his place is the outline of his body on the mattress.

“Where has my husband gone?” You wince when Joan tugs your hair particularly hard while brushing it. 

“You have been summoned by Lady Talia.”

It hangs in the air, but you don’t expect them to answer your original question. It’s the nature of your relationship with them. It only reminds you to formally add Rachel to your household staff. Perhaps an ally in the mornings would improve your days. 

You’re prodded and shoved and squeezed until you are dressed. A green and black gown once again. An emblem of the house that you married into. You are no longer a daughter of a baron – you are now a princess of the House Al Ghul.

You’re led to Talia’s room within the castle. A guard stands upright outside her door, and opens it for you and your brood. Within, you find your now mother-in-law with a table full of assorted small plates. Fruits, cheeses, bread. Your stomach grumbles in hunger, but you doubt you’ll be able to enjoy your meal. Not with Talia. 

“Lady Talia,” you politely greet. 

She waves you over without looking up. As you approach her, she finally glances at you, but now before grunting in disapproval.

She is now your mother-in-law. You must remain polite. You repeat the mantra to yourself several times as you become situated in the seat across from her. Your ladies-in-waiting stand off the side, along with Talia’s servants.

A moment passes. Then two. Then several. Talia says nothing and continues to eat. You recognize that she will not speak to you first, and that you must initiate the conversation. You desperately want to your roll your eyes, but you remember your mantra. 

“Ahem, Lady Talia,” you start. “I have heard that you summoned me. Might I ask why?”

She sharply glares at you. “Do I need a reason to call upon you? After all, you are now my daughter.”

“Of course not.” You smile as sweetly as you can while simultaneously wanting to burst. You stomach rumbles again to remind you that it is empty, so you swiftly gather some items to make your plate full. 

“Will Damian be joining us for this –”

“No,” Talia interjects. 

“Oh.” Silence befalls the room except for the occasional chewing of food. “Is it possible for my mother to come join us? She will be leaving –”

“No. Is my presence not satisfactory to you?”

“Of course it is, Lady Talia,” you grit. She feigns a smile at you, and her eyes sparkle.

She knows that she’s irking you. She loves it.

“Are you close with Lady Rachel of House Azarath?” you inquire. The best use of your time here with Talia is to at least introduce the idea of Rachel as an additional lady-in-waiting. 

Talia sips her tea generously before answering. “Yes, she used to be quite close to my son.”

“Well, her and I have only recently met, but we have become incredibly close. She honestly feels like a sister to me –”

“You’re talking about Lady Rachel?” 

You gulp and shakingly nod your head. “Yes, I am. Erm – like I was saying, she has become a true friend. Since my family will return to my birthplace soon, and I have left behind my childhood friends, I was thinking about having Lady Rachel join my household staff. As a lady-in-waiting.”

Talia stares blankly at you, her green eyes burrowing into your soul. Her façade soon begins to break as her lips twitch and her eyes crinkles. Soon, she releases out a howling cackle. She laughs and laughs, holding her stomach to support herself. 

Joan, Matilda, Honora, and the remaining servants in the room look to one another curiously before they begin to laugh as well. Their laughs start as awkward chuckles until they are bellowing to match their master.

You sit in utter disbelief at the situation unfurling in front of you. There’s a joke hidden in Talia’s laugh, but you remain oblivious to it.

“Oh, oh, my.” Talia wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. “Why, yes, of course! Lady Rachel is free to join your household staff.”

Your face is red with embarrassment as the laughs finally die down. You’re not sure what the joke was, and you so desperately want to know. 

The food no longer looks appetizing to you. The measly few bites you had appease your stomach for the time being. Desperate for the attention to be off of you, the course of the conversation is redirected.

“Erm – thank you, Lady Talia. Say, how did you enjoy the festivities yesterday?”

“Ahem, yes, it was fine.” Her joyful tone suddenly reverts to its malicious nature. “I presume you enjoyed your wedding night, especially. How very lucky you are to bed a prince when you are…” She points in your general direction. “Well, when you are…you.”

A forced chuckle exits your mouth. Never have you ever met someone as blatantly, yet simultaneously subtly, rude. It dawns on you that her status allows her to speak however she wants, and that social graces are only for those inferior to her. 

“I am eternally grateful that Prince Damian chose me to be his wife.”

She waves your pleasantry off. “Yes, yes. After all, he chose you out of…every maiden. I am certain you will do your duties as a wife to ensure his happiness. As long as you bear him heirs, I suppose that is all I can ask for.”

The conversation feels unpleasant to you. After all, shouldn’t your marital relations with Damian be kept between you and him? Admittedly, you’re not sure whether you should alert Talia to the fact that you did notbed Damian last night. Sure, you slept in the same bed, but you are certain that is not what she cares about.

The question that she was dancing around finally is brought to the forefront. “Last night was…successful, correct?”

Your hunger has not yet returned, but you abruptly feel the urge to stuff food into your mouth to avoid answering her. 

“Mmhm.” 

She leans in dangerously close. She remains across the table, but it seems like she will pounce on you if you dare utter one wrong word.

“Did you bed Damian?”

You breathe in deeply, having had enough of the intrusion. “Lady Talia, I feel as though my relations with your son –”

“This is a yes or no question, dear,” she seethes. “Did you or did not do your duty as the wife of Prince Damian?” She slowly stands as she asks you her question, her anger palpable. 

“Does it matter?” you counter. “Why is that any of your business?”

“So, you did not bed him.”

You eye twitches in annoyance. “Lady Talia, I did not say that.”

“You don’t have to.” She slams her hands on the table, shaking it. You jump in surprise and grab hold onto the arms of the seat. The other women in the room hold their breath in frightened anticipation. 

“What was the point then? What was it?” She places her hands on her waist and circles you. “There were so many others – richer, prettier, friendlier. Some of them he grew up with. Why you if he doesn’t even want to bed you?”

You remain glued to your seat. Talia looks down at you with rage in her eyes, while you look back with confusion. You don’t know how to answer her question, because ultimately, you’re unsure of the answers yourself. If she had asked you a month prior when you first arrived in Gotham, you probably could have answered that you and Damian shared a sweet encounter from many years past, and that encounter led to your marriage. However, with Damian’s aloofness, you also are uncertain as to why you were chosen to be his bride.

Talia groans in frustration at your muteness. She stomps towards the door, but not before a servant rushes over to open it for her. You watch as she disappears into the hallway, presumably to confront Damian. 

You let out a shaky breath that you didn’t know you were holding. 

“Take me back to my quarters,” you order your ladies-in-waiting. “And send for Lady Rachel.”

You pace back and forth in your room, practically burning a hole into the floor. A loud knock disrupts your fervent strides, and in comes your rescuer, Rachel.

“Rachel,” you whimper as your nearly run into her open arms.

Her arms wrap around you tightly, like how a snake suffocates its victims, except her hug was full of love instead.

You’re shaken up by your encounter with Talia, but the culmination of the previous 24 hours bears down upon you. You sink to the floor, Rachel helplessly attempting to lift you back to your feet, but the energy is no longer within you.

“Everything is wrong.”

“What is?” Rachel finally sinks to the floor next to you, holding your head to her bosom, holding you like a mother would do to console her child. 

“Everything. This cursed family has brought me nothing but misery. I will be miserable until the end of my days, I fear.”

Rachel gently quiets you and strokes your hair. “No, that will not happen. I will not allow that to happen.”

“It will!” you exclaim. “Damian hates me!”

“He does not hate you.”

“Yes, he does!” Embarrassment sinks into your bones when Rachel asks you to explain.

“Last night was a disaster,” you murmur into her chest.

Rachel stops stroking your head momentarily. “Hmm? How so?” She starts once more playing with your hair.

“I am…still a virgin.”

She pulls your head backwards so that her eyes meet yours. “Do you mean…he has not bedded you yet?”

You cringe in embarrassment. Her shock has only solidified your insecurity – something must be wrong with you. That’s the only explanation! 

“No, no, darling,” Rachel clucks. “Do not hide your face from me. It is not your fault – hey – look at me. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.”

“Then, what is wrong?” You swiftly get to your feet and resume your pacing. “If not me, then what? It’s silly to think that there is another issue at play here.”

Rachel grabs hold of your shoulders and firmly shakes you. “Listen to yourself! You sound mad.” She looks around the room as if it isn’t empty and leans in close to whisper. “Understand that there may be other factors at play. The emotions of man can certainly affect his…libido. Take it from me, I should know.” 

She releases her grip, but remains planted in front of your face. “I have had…prior relations.”

You nod at her wide-eyed. This is the first you’ve heard of Rachel speaking about her romantic life. 

“Certain emotions can make it hard for a man to perform his husbandly duties. I do not think it wise to push the issue, as to not cause any embarrassment for him.”

You nod your head emphatically, whole-heartedly internalizing her speech. “But – what if he doesn’t bed me tonight either? Lady Talia is already speaking about heirs.”

“Again, do not push the issue. You would rather not face Damian’s wrath.”

A singular, harsh knock interrupts your discussion. In stomps in the subject of the conversation, the man of the hour, your lifeline and your ruin – Damian.

Rachel immediately curtsies out of respect and lowers her head. He opens his mouth to speak, but is seemingly stunned by the presence of another human in your room. He looks back and forth between you and Rachel.

“Husband,” you greet.

The sound of your voice brings Damian back from his trance. He nods his head towards the door and several servants, including your ladies-in-waiting, pile into the room.

“Wife,” he starts. He strides over to you and plants a kiss on your forehead. His lips leave a burning sensation on you, as his sudden display of affection jars you. “Pack your essentials. We leave soon for my father’s.”

“Damian,” you whisper. His face reveals his agitation: his lips are stretched into a scowl and his forehead wrinkles deeply. “Is everything alright?”

His palm reaches to your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. You want to believe he does it lovingly, but your heart can’t take that risk. 

“You should have called upon me,” he murmurs. “As soon as my mother disrespected you, you should have come to me.”

You look down in shame. So, he’s heard of your interaction with Talia earlier that day. “I did not think that was an option. I did not even know where you were.”

He lifts your head up with his index finger on your chin. He bends as best as he could to meet you at eye-level. “Of course, that is an option. You are my wife.”

You swallow hard. The way he’s looking at you, and comforting you – it’s too much. It’s too sudden. You shimmy your way out of his grasp and look to Rachel for support, only to find her back facing towards you and Damian.

“Lady Rachel has been consoling me.”

Damian stiffens and his jaw tightens. “Thank you, Lady Rachel,” he starts. He looks over his shoulder her, and she does so too ever so slightly. Neither face each other completely, however. “You may now take your leave.”

Rachel nods her head and without turning to say goodbye to you, she starts heading towards the door.

“Wait, no!” you call out. You circle around Damian to reach Rachel’s arm. “Lady Rachel is to be my lady-in-waiting. She must remain by my side.”

Damian’s eyes bulge out of his head. “Your lady-in-waiting?” he repeats brashly. 

You huff in irritation. You’re not sure why everyone seems to be so astonished that you want Rachel to be a part of your household staff. “Yes,” you reply. 

Damian clicks his tongue in disapproval. The amorous façade he performed just moments prior is now gone. It’s been replaced with the real Damian – the stoic one. 

“Fine.” He pushes back you to reach the exit before stopping by the door. He doesn’t even turn around. “Remember, just the essentials. 

[directdogman]

In my own writing I struggle with giving each character their own voice (speech patterns, phrases they use) and in Dialtown each character is super specific. Are there certain things you had to remember for each character, other than Oliver using his fucked up slang lmao.

When I write my characters, I can usually hear them in my head to some extent. Like, I can picture how it would feel to talk to them, or if I tuned out while one of my characters was chattering away about something, I can kinda hear the unintelligible static.

If you want me to write a lil essay pointing out differences in how the characters in the main cast are written, alright, I'll bite:

Verbal ticks help differentiate characters for me. We all know about Randy's stuttering, but there's more than just that in how the characters' sentence structures affect how we see their speech.

Karen's sentences tend to end in periods, if they aren't questions or if her voice isn't raised. Almost all of Randy's sentences, meanwhile, end with ellipses (…) or hyphens to indicate he trailed off/stuttered his way through the ending. Oliver does occasionally end sentences with ellipses or hyphens, but defaults to periods and often exclamation marks, as he's pretty excitable. This alone shows the difference in tone/confidence that the main 3 have without changing any words.

The characters all use slightly different terminology when they speak. Oliver's fucked up slang is only a part of it, he also uses theatrical language, often framing sentences creatively and in a way that absurdly beefs up the word count of his dialogue. He uses fairly atypical adjectives, surrealist language. He refers to himself in the third person sometimes. He uses imperfect tenses in order to make his sentences longer/less uniform. I'll give an example, from when Gingi asks Oliver if film reel movie projection is magic:

"I consider myself a sorcerer of FILTH, perhaps (an apt conjurer of muck/grime), but this artform isn't QUITE witchcraft NOR warlockery, I'm 'fraid."

Okay, putting aside the bizarre content of the sentence itself, one curious thing to note is that the whole sentence is full of words that don't convey any additional information. Conjurer is a synonym of sorcerer and he uses two synonyms for dirty AFTER already using filth. Guy loves theatrical language and will structure his sentence to make sentences much longer, so he can fit more of it in. But, then ends the sentence by taking a whole syllable away from the word 'afraid' and abbreviation it, like speaking with an accent. Oliver's sentence pacing is completely different to other people because of the volume of odd language he uses. In the context of the game, he's also drawing the player in by creating a pause, as the next line is:

"No, the actual "beaming" work comes from our dear old movie projector, and possibly my greatest love: Big Bertha!"

He likes Big Bertha and enjoys talking about her, and he tries to draw Gingi in and get Gingi invested in this thing by drawing out the introduction and forcing Gingi to wait for him to introduce Bertha in suspense. Randy volunteers info as if he thinks you're gonna hit him, unable to stand silence and hence, the sound of his own thoughts.

To contrast, Karen uses direct language, mainly. I wouldn't call her speech robotic, as most of the time she can retract language, she does (I am->I'm, I would->I'd, etc) but usually she uses direct tenses, and takes fewer words to say what she needs to compared to, say, Oliver. Generally, the words she uses tonally matches what she says. Weirder, less usual words come out when Karen is reacting to something she finds weird/illogical.

Norm's speech could be described as someone with a heavy accent who's well read, but is slightly insecure about being well-read. He uses words like 'y'all', 'ain't', 'reckon', retracts words like 'to' as 't'', but if you pay attention, he occasionally uses technical, academic language that doesn't match the aesthetics of the rest of his language. You can take the boy away from book learnin', but ya can't take the book learning outta the boy.

Billy is aggressive and generally, his language is designed to make the player feel bad in some way. Generally speaking, he's either insulting you, mocking your knowledge of the world, pointing out something you said as stupid, or is using words like 'lmayo'. Billy doesn't care much about the player, but is interested enough to talk to the player as a means to offend/demean them until you run out of things to say or leave, frustrated, which is Billy's goal. If you view what he says in this lens, you'll see this accurately describes how he speaks to you.

Billy uses surrealist language occasionally to seem more hellish and inhuman, but often, uses fewer words than other main characters. Subconsciously, it's to convey that Billy doesn't respect you enough to use more words. When Billy DOES use big words, it's exclusively on purpose and exclusively to subconsciously belittle Gingi, like when he refers to Gingi as a 'amphibian moron'.

God, similar to Billy, tends to use fewer words than most other characters. He often gives formulaic dialogue responses. There's no psychological play here, God just genuinely doesn't care how Gingi or anyone else sees him or if his tone/phrasing is improper because he knows how little respect people in Dialtown have for him anyway and embraces it.

Sometimes though, he does use uncommon synonyms for words, a byproduct of having lived so long through other times/eras. The references he makes are much the same. Fucker occasionally references ancient Greek figures and expects the references to land, as if everyone present somehow would've once somehow met these ancient fellows.

Mingus uses formal, impersonal language, and tends to use uncommon synonyms for words. The purpose of this is to subconsciously belittle the person she's speaking to and affirm her social class.

While she'll skirt past a commonly used word for a rare synonym in order to make her speech sound more dignified, she rarely leaves out pronouns in sentences. The reason for this is because most of her speech has an indignant tone. She's complaining about some shoddily done action or what she feels is a lack of service. So, the last thing she'd want to do is miss the opportunity to rant directly about her grievances in direct terms. Creative phrasing isn't used to replace pronouns but used to more elaborately phrase the error someone has committed to further emphasize her dismay. EG:

"You created the entire universe, and yet, the ability to perform a simple CARTWHEEL eludes you?"

Instead of saying "can", she says "the ability", instead of 'can't do', it's 'elude'. Hell, instead of 'do', it's 'perform'. But, both at the beginning and end of the sentence, she doesn't think to phrase the sentence in a way to avoid repeating the word 'you'. Like I said, the flourishes are just to drive the point home that she sees herself as above the person she's speaking to and to reaffirm how absurd she sees the limitations of others.

How Jerry talks is basically the conflict within a well educated but defeated man whose brain is decaying from years of substandard life. His speech, like his brain, is in conflict. His job dictates that he should always use terms of respect, like sir/ma'am, but he curses too. When he raises his voice, his sentences are often short and abrupt, but the words he uses tend to be elaborate and rarely used. Jerry is educated, has opinions on stuff. His mind is wasted at his job, and even through his defeated cynicism, you can subtly see that Jerry wants a better life through the words he uses.

Jerry's speech patterns are actually quite close to the narrator, and this is intentional, actually. The two characters share a few things in common that affect how they speak. Namely: Having to deal with Gingi's antics. There's almost a tired parental tone to both.

I could ramble for hours (please don't let me do this), but those are some examples of core character writing differences, namely in how I try to use language. Incorporating subtleties into the dialogue is good for separating characters and when you plan these out so that these placed differences are specific to traits that the characters have, your work'll feel more alive and be more satisfying to analyze later. Overthink. Overthink overthink overthink. It works, at least for me.

[jacky-rubou]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

thank you @septic-dr-schneep for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

44 public works, 48 if you count anonymous

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

486,495

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Gravity Falls, which is the only one I really write for. Any other fandoms I have are either from previous fandoms or crossovers with Gravity Falls lmao

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. A Hug For Those Who Need It with 205 kudos (first fic to hit 200, woot woot) 2. The Trouble With Sweaters with 190 kudos 3. Sometimes All It Takes Is A Sleepover with 132 kudos 4. He Signs I Love You with 125 kudos 5. In The Dark with 112 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to at least give them a single sentence of gratitude, if not an author's cut of why I did what they liked. Sometimes just a heart if their comment doesn't have much to respond to. or a winky face if I'm being coy lol. I just like to let my readers know that I appreciate the comments and that they're not commenting into a void lol.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

that is so hard because almost all my fics are angsty in some way haha. but i guess there are some with bittersweet endings that aren't as crushing as others, so I'll go with Sacrifices Must Be Made (major gore warning), The Things You Can't Live Without, The Twist of the Knife That is Fate, and Lost in Loving Memory (suicide and self harm warning) all with major character death.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

define 'Happiest'. i got some hopeful endings after soul crushing angst like Not So Different (And We're Dying For It) (suicide attempt warning) and Barely Living (And All It Takes Are Some Pills but idk.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

occasionally. mostly just peeps upset at pacing or my weird choices. i haven't gotten a lot. if i do, i delete it right away usually.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

haha no. (no shame on anyone who does but... that's not my style)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've written a fair bunch. I think the wildest one was a Courage The Cowardly Dog and Undertale fic I abandoned on ffnet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no idea if I have and hopefully i haven't. anyone who notices someone stealing a fic of mine please let me know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

if i have, they haven't asked or told me about it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope and the idea terrifies me. though if helping with ideas counts, i have had someone help me with one of my fics in a more 'major' way but i don't want to talk about them further for personal reasons.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

right now, i like fiddauthor.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

there's a wip i made a few months ago inspired by a small angsty comic about ford's ptsd being triggered by water guns and almost shooting his family with a real gun i saw but i lost interest pretty quick when i didn't know where the hell to go with it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

emotions. i have made many a reader cry and i love that about my writing. and I think I have a good grasp on world-building.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

probably my bias towards specific characters blinding me to implications. specifically Ford.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think it's fine. I don't do it because I fear writing something wrong. Also I don't really write with characters that would know other languages (except for Stan I guess but I don't get very much opportunity to add it where it makes sense haha)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

regrettably, the transphobic wizard franchise mixed with Sonic the Hedgehog for some godforsaken reason. never posted it anywhere though, thank god. just something i handwrote as a kid. for first ones I've actually posted, see the courage the cowardly dog and undertale fic on ffnet i mentioned earlier.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ARRRGGGGHHHH SO HARD TO CHOOOSE!!!

A few I love from myself are my suicide!ford duology (soon to be trilogy, shhhh), my paralysis!ford trilogy, my blind!ford duology, and Dead On Arrival

anyway, tagging @ferretwhomst and @thereareeyesinsidethetrees

[myaheartsmarkie]

addicted - chapter three

word count: 12.9k

playlist: from time by drake, late at night by roddy rich, i want u around by omar apollo, wasting time by brent faiyaz, best you had by don toliver, luv is dro by jack harlow, and party by sik-k!

genre: smut, so much. mild one sided pining, jealous! jeno, angst, fluff (im team jeno yall lol), fwb! to lovers, student athletes! yn + jeno. the boyz! and dream + 127 member make side role! appearances. jaehyun is trying to fight jeno lol, haechan and kevin stir up trouble as per usual

warning(s): smut! smut! smut! (pls, if you're a minor - leave.) lots of swearing!!, jeno is toxic, and boy oh boy does it show. choking, spanking, slight public sex! (they're fucking in the locker rooms again lmaooo), teasing, dom! jeno, sub! reader, face fucking, spit play, cum play, oral (f! + m! receiving), tons of sex talk, established height difference (im not even short so lets not jump to conclusions, but the dominating role i wrote in for jeno imo calls for a significant height difference. im the author so pls respect it. if you don't like it don't read it. thanks.) reader has a smart ass mouth (if you're sensitive? ig..lol my mouth is reckless too so it feels normal) mentions of violence (jaebae isn't taking no shit in this chapter lmao), use of pet names (baby, angel, princess, etc..) jeno can be rough at times in some scenes, but not violent, some dry humping, slight size kink, i think that's it...lmk if i missed anything!

note from mya: ITS FINALLY HERE YALL!! omg this took so frickin long D: im so very sorry & i pray to every god that its worth it ! i worked hard lol. also i had originally written 14.8k but last night it got deleted bcus we had an outage & i guess it didnt back up properly :( but yea, you guys already know. no minors. if you're legal, happy reading :) taglist is posted at the bottom <3 . & of course this isn't revised lmao...fuck that. thanks for your patience & support, ily!

© myaheartsmarkie 2022 — all rights reserved !

—

“yn?” kevin said softly, knuckles grazing the frame of your door. 

he sighs when he receives no response in return. he looks back at jaehyun with a sad expression. jaehyun lets out a sigh, chest heaving angrily. 

“i’ll fucking kill him” he mumbles, turning around and stalking to the front door. 

kevin scurries to sit the plate of food down and catch his best friend before he reaches outside. kevin grabs jaehyun’s shoulder, halting his movements. 

“we don’t even know if it’s because of jeno,” kevin starts. 

“i know it is—god, i never liked that dickhead” he says, hands going to grip his hair out of frustration. 

“ok…but your rep too—you can’t just beat up the baseball captain and get away with it” he tells jae. 

jaehyhun sighs, moving to sit on the couch. he tugs his phone from his pocket, quickly finding your contact. 

jaebae: hey…ik you don’t wanna talk rn but me & kev are here for you, ok? you know we always are. so whenever you’re ready, we’ll be here waiting. i love u. 

jaebae: …and if it was that fucker j*no i promise you these hands are rated e for everybody, especially if they hurt you. 

you smile at the text messages. you love your best friends but right now…you weren’t up for any kind of communication. you were glad they knew that as well. hearting both of the messages from jaehyun before you turn your phone off again, burying yourself under your duvet. 

—

it’s been a long ass week. 

missing three days of class, constant crying, and using up your vacation days to sulk in bed can be very exhausting. luckily sungchan has been sending you his notes, filling you in on what you’ve missed. he was god sent, truly your guardian angel. his notes were filled to the brim, jotted down sentences in multiple different pen colors, he was so extra. the last photos he sent to you was yesterday. three pictures of his college ruled white paper concluding with a quick selfie of himself with a thumbs up, ‘get better, i miss u!’ drawn across the screen with a tiny heart. 

you haven’t thought about him. not today at least…but have you thought about him since the whole ordeal? yes. yes times a thousand. you can’t help it, your mind does its own thing. it doesn’t listen to you, no matter how hard you try to not do so — your mind betrays you. pictures of his stupidly handsome face, his stupid buff arms, and his stupid stupid stupid (very good) dick game. you can’t help it! 

you’re surprised with yourself though, the fact that you’ve actually mustered up the courage to block him and not text or call him back. it truly takes a ton of work and you’ve done well these past few days. the countless missed calls from the ‘no caller id’ contact and constant texts from the said man. begging for you to come back and his meaningless apologies. you’ve read them…hell fucking yeah you have, but have you replied? nope. 

you sigh, reluctantly sitting up in your bed. you eye the time, 11:06am. you have class at 12…if you get ready now, you can make it on time. you purse your lips in thought, do you really wanna go to class today? you shake your head, tugging the blanket from over you and make your way to the bathroom. 

—

jaebae: im going to practice and kev is at sunwoo’s. lmk if you need anything, sweetheart. 

you see the text from your roommate, eyes drifting from the mirror to your phone screen. you read it and smile. tooth rotting sweet as usual, what more do you expect from jae? you pick up your phone, texting him back. 

you: ok!! thank u but im good rn :) luv ya 

you lock your phone, continuing your activities. you press the plus sign on your speaker, upping the volume trying anything to get you into a good mood. mumbling some lyrics here and there while you get ready. once you’re done you twist the door of your bathroom, but you come to an abrupt pause. the house is empty now…which means you have no ride. you facepalm. you can’t text jae now, it’s been like 10 minutes since he left. you internally whine, moving to sit on your bed. you lay back dramatically, huffing as you wonder who the hell you could call. kevin’s free but probably tipsy…afterall in his world it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere. jaehyun and sungchan are at practice, jieun…we’re not even gonna think about her. who else even is there…? 

you sit up in a flash as his face pops up in your head. if you remember correctly he has a 12 o’clock class as well, so it shouldn’t be much of a hassle, right? you hurriedly grab your phone, scrolling until you stumble across his contact. 

you: hey bestie :D !! i need a ride to class, can you pick me up ? 

you cringe at the message, swiping up and out of the app. you bite your lip…were you being too forward? is this crossing any lines? was it too soon? 

you: if not it’s cool!! don’t worry about it lol..

you chuck your phone backwards onto your bed. palms covering your face as you groan loudly. was it always this awkward? like…texting? you don’t know, but what’s done is done. mainly because you can’t unsend it. 

ding!

you flinch at the sound, reluctantly picking up the cellular device. 

eric :) : sure!! be there in five :) 

eric :) : ps…cus you’re cute i won’t charge you for gas money :P thank me later

you roll your eyes at the second message, you’re glad he’s not being awkward about it. you were already emotionally fucked up…you didn’t need another problem added to your plate right now. you sigh happily, gathering your things and moving to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. settling on a green apple, you bite the fruit scrolling through your fyp while you wait. 

eric :) : i’m here 

—

you make your way out the door, clutching your bookbag strap tightly. why were you so nervous? you weren’t even this nervous when you and him went on your first date! this is so backwards. 

watching your shoes as you hop down the stairs, making your way to his black jdm. you’re glad he’s not standing outside the car like usual, you’d be too embarrassed to look at him face to face. you grab the handle, pulling the car door open. slinging your bookbag off before you climb in. hand running down the back of your skirt to make sure it doesn’t bunch up when you sit. you close the door before turning to look at eric. when you do you let out an audible gasp. 

“o-oh my god!” you say, eyes wide with shock. 

eric laughs, running a hand through his hair. 

“when the hell?” you say, hand moving to touch his newly dyed hair. 

“two days ago, you like it?” he asks, body turning towards yours. 

your finger runs through his hair, admiring the new color. his eyes are on you, watching you with curious eyes. you were still so damn pretty. 

“i do…it suits you” you smile, retracting your hand from his head. 

“thank you m’lady” he grins, hands moving to start the car. 

you shake your head, buckling yourself in before he pulls off. 

—

you make your way through the hallway, squeezing through the many other bodies. you clutch your book bag to your side, trying your best not to bump into anybody. you stand atop your tiptoes trying to glance over the many heads. you eye your classroom, trying to push your way through in

the direction of your class. you successfully make it to class, pushing through the door and hurrying to make it to your seat. you sit down with a huff, head falling onto the table. if you knew it’d be this stressful you would’ve stayed home. 

you sat up, eyes curiously searching the classroom. there were a few other students scattered everywhere, but it wasn’t 12 yet…so more people are sure to show up. you didn’t see sungchan though, you pouted picking up your phone. 

you: HEY FUCKER!! WYA???

bambi: ??? you’re in class ??? 

you: YES

bambi: i’m almost there, save me a seat pls

you thumbs up his last message, sitting your bookbag on the seat next to you. in the last minute or so at least ten or twelve more students poured into the class. you rest your face on top of your open palm, blowing a breath out from your mouth obnoxiously. you really didn’t wanna be here. 

—

you and sungchan stretch in unison, fingers reaching towards the ceiling. you guys turn to face each other, laughing loudly. you both gather your things making your way out to the hallway, thanking the professor on the way out. you loop your arm through sungchan’s skipping side by side down the hallway. 

“you wanna get some food?” he asks and you nod happily. 

“ok, i gotta get my keys from my locker, come on” he tells you, leading you in the direction of the elevator. 

the two of you step into the elevator, pressing the number four. you both wait patiently, stepping out once the doors open for the two of you. 

“you wanna wait right here?” he asks, pointing at the bench outside of the locker room. 

you nod, un-attaching yourself from him and sitting down politely. you cross your legs, folding your hands over your lap. you watch sungchan walk away, both yours and his book bags slung over his figure. you slightly smile, you loved him so much. your left leg bounces, nerves going a little crazy – worried jeno would randomly pop up when you least expect it. you find your nail in between your lips once more, chewing nervously. 

“yooo! haven’t seen you in awhile,” a voice shouts from behind you. 

you jump, eyes wide as you look over the figure. he walks up to you, hand resting on your shoulder. 

“woah, didn’t mean to spook you” haechan laughs, welcoming himself to sit next to you. 

“you fucking dick,” you roll your eyes, punching his arm. 

“ow! why’re you sitting out here? waiting for jeno?” he asks, teasingly wiggling his eyebrows at you. 

you huff out, rolling your eyes at him. you lift your hand again, but haechan grabs your balled up fists so you don’t hit him again. 

“it was a joke, i’m kidding” he tells you.

“i’m waiting for sungchan, we’re gonna go eat”  you say to haechan, tugging your hands from his grip. 

“—and jeno and I are no longer acquainted, thank you very much” you huff, turning your nose up. 

“wait, really? why, what happened?” haechan asks, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“don’t wanna really talk about it, but he can’t keep his dick in his pants to save his life” you mutter with a roll of your eyes. 

haechan makes an ‘o’ shape with his mouth, nodding his head in understanding. you nod as well, turning your head to the sound of the door opening, haechan peeking around your shoulder. sungchan walks out, spinning his car keys on his finger. you stand up, brushing your skirt down. haechan follows suit, standing up as well. he daps sungchan up and gives you a kiss on top of your head. 

“i’ll see you guys later,” he yells out, holding the locker room door open. 

the two of you waved goodbye to the boy, turning around to make your way to the elevator. 

“yo sungchan! i forgot to ask—” his sentence is cut short as he sees who is standing in front of him. 

you and jeno make eye contact, your mouth drying up at the sight of him alone. you shift on your feet nervously, swallowing hard. jeno’s eyebrows crinkle in confusion and anger. 

“hey roomie…what’d you need?” sungchan asks with a nervous laugh. 

“so you’re too good to text or call me back because you’re hanging out with my best friend?” jeno asks, looking past sungchan at you. “hey…i’m both of your guys’ best friends.” sungchan says. 

you roll your eyes, turning your gaze elsewhere. you didn’t have the energy to deal with this right now. not only did you not come here for this but you’re hungry as hell. not a good mixture. 

jeno scoffs when he realizes you’re not going to reply, “oh so you really think you’re too good, huh? can’t even speak to me.” he says, mockingly laughing at you. “fuck off jeno,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“whatever, are you coming back to the crib tonight?” jeno asks, turning his attention to sungchan. 

sungchan thinks about his question for a bit, but he shakes his head no. “i’m going to haechan and yuta’s for the tournament…they want their asses whooped in mario kart again,” he chuckles lightly. jeno nods in understanding, smacking sungchan’s back with his palm. “i’m having jieun over, I needed it empty tonight” he winked at you. 

you scoff loudly, can you believe this fucking asshole? you can’t believe you used to like him. 

“you’re a dick, fuck you” you say, not breaking eye contact with him. jeno shrugs, leaning down towards your face. you back up in disgust, not wanting to be anywhere near him at all. “let me know when you’re done being petty and I promise I’ll take you back, princess,” he whispers, curling a piece of your hair behind your ear. you smack his hand away angrily. “never in a million fucking years,” you say through gritted teeth, turning away. 

you make your way to the elevator, pressing the down arrow. sungchan follows suit, nervously fiddling with his fingers. you huff out, blowing the stray hairs in front of your face away. you were beyond livid right now. 

—

[ the (3) stooges ] 

you: jeno fucked jieun. 

you: and they’re meeting up to fuck again 2nite

you: feeling suicidal :) 

kev: WAIT ARE YOU DEADASS?? 

you: i wish i was fucking lying. 

kev: what an asshole…that’s so disappointing

jaebae: i’m omw

[ you and kev ‘?’ this message ] 

kev: where are you going??? 

you: ^

jaebae: to fuck him up . 

[ kev hearted this message ] 

you: no?? wtf???

kev: ignore her, go fuck him up!!! beat his ass!!! 

[ jaebae liked this message / yn disliked this message ] 

you: i’m so serious, what if you lose your scholarship :( 

[ kev disliked this message ]

jaebae: sigh

kev: fucking party pooper, boo tomatoes boo!! 

you: thank you i love u guys 

[ jae + kev hearted this message ] 

you lock your phone, sitting up off of sungchan’s lap. you make your way to the kitchen to grab a drink. twisting the cap on the bottle of water, you take a few sips as you walk back into the living room. 

“who the FUCK threw that bannana?!” haechan asked and yuta smirks in response to his outburst.

“what are you gonna do about it, huh?” yuta asks, throwing another banana towards haechan’s character. 

sungchan is quiet throughout the game, eyebrows crinkled in sheer concentration. you eye the gold number one in the corner of his screen. all the other boys moan out in agony as he crosses the finish line. haechan throws the switch controller down onto the couch angrily. 

“fuck you” yuta says, flipping your best friend off. you and sungchan laugh at the boys' reactions, finding them amusing. 

you guys all looked at the door confused when the doorbell rang. yuta gets up to answer the door, and you all look curiously from your seats. 

“eric? what’s up!” yuta says, unlocking the door for him and his friends. 

you turn to sungchan with wide eyes, sungchan smiles at you. 

“take your mind off jeno for now…he’s my friend but he’s being a dick right now” he tells you, ruffling your hair. 

“you invited them?” you ask, and sungchan nods. 

“i swear i’m—” you start but you close your mouth abruptly when you hear your name being called. “yn? is that you?” eric asks, you turn around slowly with a sort of awkward smile. “i didn’t know you’d be here, would’ve come over sooner,” eric joked, sliding into the open seat next to you. sungchan rubbed your back before he stood up to walk away. 

“you met my friends, right?” he asks, pointing back at his two friends. sunwoo and juyeon wave at you with a smile. “is this your girlfriend?” juyeon asks, you and eric blush madly. sunwoo elbows him in the side, offering a small apologetic smile. “s-sorry, it’s just–when you guys were at the club…i-i thought” the black haired boy stutters. 

“it’s fine,” you smile, hands holding your blushing face. eric is just as red as you, coughing at the now awkward environment. “we’re not dating, jackass,” eric says, running a hand through his hair. 

“you guys want in?” you hear haechan ask.

sunwoo and juyeon’s eyes light up at his question, practically running to grab a controller. you watch them, laughing at their excitement. yuta then makes his way back to the living room, speaker in hand. what was a small quiet get together is now a very noisy party of seven. 

“do you wanna go outside?” eric asks, leaning down to whisper the question into your ear. with blushing cheeks you nod yes, following him out the front door. 

haechan looks at sungchan both of them sharing a nod before sungchan pulls his phone out. 

[ bsb bozos ]

hae: wooooah yn went with him outside ;)

sungchan: lol fr? just them?

hae: yuuuup

jeno: ???

hae: oh shit

sungchan: wrong gc, fuck.

hae: yea my bad jen lmao

jeno: who are you guys talking about?

[ read 11:34am ]

jeno: you little shits better answer me 

[ haechan liked this message ]

hae: i love aggressive men <3 

hae: yn went outside with eric :)))

sungchan: stfu omg you can’t hold water for shit. 

hae: im sorry D:

jeno: are you deadass?? im omw you fuckers better watch her, if he touches her istfg 

hae: you got it daddy— boss!

sungchan: i meaaaan…

jeno: chan don’t fw me rn

sungchan: no bcus you literally told her you were gonna fuck her now ex bestfriend…

sungchan: but now you want us to watch her?? because she went outside with someone?? 

sungchan: it’s ass backwards…you can stick your dick in anything that walks & she has to be ok with it but when she’s in the vicinity of another man you’re losing your fucken mind. make your mind up jeno, we’re not kids. if you want to be with yn, then tell her AND show her that. stop making shit complicated. we all know you want her. 

hae: ok, but it’s giving poet…modern shakespeare if you will 😫 .

sungchan: LMFAOOO stfu haechan 

jeno: im not responding to that shit in full, you talk to damn much. but ik im in the wrong, but im selfish ass toxic mf and she knows that. im omw rn, you don’t have to watch her…but i am taking her home so you don’t have to worry about us. 

hae: oh we’re not worried abt y’all…were worried for eric

sungchan: ^ yeah…will he be ok? his team still needs him lmao..

jeno: i won’t touch him…

sungchan: im not buying it, where’s the rest

jeno: if he’s not touching her, i’ll be cool. 

hae: alright lee, stop texting cus ik you’re driving.

sungchan: ^ adios 

—

“wait wait, so you didn’t always live here?” you ask, and eric nods. “nope, i just came back this year.” he confirms, and you nod with a slightly agape mouth. “how are the states? is it as fun as people make it seem?” you question, eric holds his chin with two fingers trying to figure out how to answer. “i like the states…different—very, but it’s enjoyable.” he replies and you nod. “you wanna go?” he asks, referring to the states and you nod excitedly. “ugh, it’s my biggest dream…but i

haven’t gone yet,” you pout, bottom lip slightly jutting out. you wrap your arms around yourself, seeking warmth from your hands. 

eric notices and slips out of his hoodie, offering it to you. you shake your head, waving your hands. “it’s fine,” you say. “wasn’t asking, yn” he tells you, already putting the hoodie over your head. you reluctantly push your arms through the holes, pulling the oversized sweater on. eric slides his hands under your hair, lifting it from under the sweater. he curls some of it behind your ear and you look up at him with a sweet smile. “uh, thank..you” you say, fiddling with the hem of his sweater. eric looks back at you, with kind eyes, loving how you look in his sweater. he bends down slowly, inching towards your face. you bit your bottom lip, contemplating whether or not you should let this happen. it’d be wrong, right? to lead him on, you know you don’t like him…not more than a friend. so why let him do this? it’ll only hurt him again. before you know it, he’s centimeters from you, his lips so close to yours. you sigh, squeezing your eyes shut. you wait for his lips to touch yours, squeezing your hands together. your nails dig into the skin of your palms. 

before his lips could touch yours, you’re being tugged away from his grasp. your eyes shoot open, you’re now staring at the back of a tall figure. 

“the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh?” the man says, his grip on your wrist was tight and unwavering. 

“jeno?!” eric says, astonishment evident on his face. you and him both were just as surprised at his presence. 

“w-when did you get here?” you ask quietly, trying to pull away from him. jeno turns to you, eyeing the sweater on you. “take this shit off,” he tells you, pulling at the sleeves. 

if you didn’t do it yourself he was going to do it himself. you tug the sweater up and off of you, wrapping your arms around yourself. you guys may be on bad terms but you know better than to aggravate an already angry lee jeno. eric scoffs loudly in response to the scene unfolding in front of him. 

“yn, what the fuck is going on right now?” eric asks and you open your mouth to respond. “don’t fucking talk to her.” jeno seethes, looking at eric angrily. he throws the man his sweater back and turns away. he grabs your hand, tugging you away from eric. you shriek, looking back at eric slightly waving as jeno drags you along. 

“j-jeno, my wrist..it hurts” you say quietly. 

jeno stops walking, causing you to run into his back. you stumble, holding your nose from the impact. you look up curiously, wondering why he stopped walking. “you know how angry i get when you do shit like this,” jeno whispers, and your eyebrows crinkle. “w-what do you mean?” you ask. “don’t play dumb.” he tells you, pinning you against the wall. you flinch at the way it feels against your skin, but you couldn’t care less right now. 

“everytime i see you with someone that isn’t me,” his hands snake around your waist. “i fucking hate that shit…and you know it” his hands grab your ass, squeezing it until you moan out. “i’m selfish, and you’re all mine baby” you bite your lip, looking up at him with glazed over eyes. 

“w-what about jieun…” you whisper, needing to know. 

“i fucked up, and i’m sorry..” he tells you curling a piece of hair behind your ear. you nod in response. “did you…” jeno shakes his head, finger grazing your lips shushing you. “no baby, we didn’t…i promise” he tells you, bending down to kiss your head. you nod in response.

you’d rather not talk, it's been a long night. you’re relieved to say the least though…you’re glad they didn’t sleep together. you don’t know what you would’ve done or said if he said they did. 

“take me home,” you say, turning your head away from him. 

jeno nods, grabbing hold of your hand. “let’s go baby,” he says, leading you towards his car.

—

[ the (3) stooges ] 

* ‘kev kev’ added ‘bambi’ and ‘hae <3’ * 

you: there’s 5 of us now, gc name is incorrect. 

hae <3: omg girl stfu

[ you changed the gc name to “yn for prez :D” ]

bambi: lmfao tf kind of name

kev kev: i hope you know i would n e v e r vote for you :)

you: rude asf. 

hae <3: yeah yeah, shut up. what happened yesterday ?!

kev kev: oh yeah! how’d it go last night??

bambi: ^

you: ??? wdym

kev kev: did you get dicked down last night?

you: wtf?? no. 

hae <3: mission: failed

kev kev: fat ass sigh

you: wait a damn minute…

you: YOU DICKS!! YOU SET ME UP DIDN'T YOU????

you: i knew it…jeno literally just popped up. 

kev kev: IT WAS THEIR IDEA 

[ bambi + hae <3 disliked this message ] 

bambi: stfu you’re a fucking liar

hae <3: jus because i helped doesn’t mean i was involved :(

you: i’m gonna fuck you two up

[ kev + hae <3 liked this message / bambi disliked this message ]

bambi: yn, i love you 

[ you liked this message ] 

bambi: it wasn’t me D: pls believe me 

[ you liked this message ] 

you: <3 

[ kev + hae <3 disliked this message ] 

kev kev: in FRONT of me ?! 

hae <3: ^ ong, ur so fake bro ):

kev kev: fuck u yn :( 

jaebae: can you guys shut the fuck up?? i have a game tmrw u asshats 

you: sorry :(

kev kev: im shutting the fuck up. 

bambi: aye aye captain 

hae <3: yes daddy. 

—

you skipped down the hall with jaehyun, his arm slung over your shoulder. he insisted on walking you to class today, you were a bit taken aback but you let him do so. 

“so, what’s up after class?” he asks. “i go back to practice today—i’m excited” you reply back, a glint showing in your eyes. jaehyun looked down at you fondly, he adored you. “should i be worried..?” you ask, turning to look at him. jae shakes his head no, petting your hair. “just didn’t want you running into him again alone,” he tells you, a small smile spreads across your features. 

you wrap your arms around his middle, buying your face in his chest. “thank you, jae…i appreciate you” you tell him, he chuckles lightly. bending down a bit to press a kiss to the top of your head before he turns you around to push you through the classroom door. 

jeno watches from afar with an annoyed expression. his fists at his sides, jaw clenched tightly. he hated seeing you with other guys. fuck everybody that wasn’t him. though he knows everything between you and jaehyun is all platonic, it still bothers him. 

jae turns around, making eye contact with jeno. he rolls his shoulders back, jutting his chin in his direction slightly—silently greeting him. jeno doesn’t nod back, he just stays still—fists still shaking with rage. jaehyun smirks slyly, turning away from jeno clutching his book bag strap.

—

you sat in class quietly, jotting down notes every now and again. you were mainly zoned out though—pondering on what jeno was doing right now. you pushed the pen into your cheek, clicking the button in and out. you wondered what he had on right now, or if he was listening to music, or if he was thinking about you too. you didn’t know why your mind drifted off to jeno lee, but you couldn’t help it. after the encounter with him last night, he’s been heavy in your head. 

ding!

j: come to me after class. 

what are the odds, lol. you say to yourself in your head. you pick up your phone, clicking the notification. 

j: and you better have me unblocked or else yn. 

[ you disliked this message ] 

you: stfu i do what i want

you: where and why

j: don’t question me & stop being funny.

j: locker rooms, right after class. not a minute later.

j: don’t make me fucking wait. 

you rolled your eyes, leaving him on read. a little riling up never hurt anybody…well, never hurt you at least. plus, you already know what’s going to go down—why not get him all worked up beforehand? he deserves it after all, that little stunt he pulled at the club. 

—

you rock back and forth on your feet in the elevator. you were a little nervous. you fiddle with your fingers, rubbing over the acrylic on your nails. it was just jeno…why are you worried.

you: um…im up here, wya?

j: come to the back. 

you lock your phone, nodding your head. you push through the swing doors, making your way to the back of the locker rooms. you take a deep breath before you twist the doorknob. you peek from behind the door, everything looks the same. same chair, same desk, same jeno. 

“took you long enough” he says through gritted teeth. you don’t respond, you just step fully into the small room before you close the door behind you. “come here,” he tells you. 

you slowly make your way to him, eyes on the floor. he’s shirtless, leaning against the desk. sweat is collected above his brow, you wonder if he’s fresh out of practice. jeno’s index finger curls under you chin, jerking your head up. though he’s leaning against the desk he’s still towering over you. his intimidating features and size make your legs tremble. you look up at him, chewing on your bottom lip nervously. 

“don’t be so scared love..” he whispers, bending down to be closer to you. you gulp down hard, both your mouth and your throat suddenly dry. “i-i have practice…a-at 2:30” you tell jeno and he smiles down at you. “we’ll be done by then, but i don’t know if you’ll be able to stand.” jeno loops a finger through your belt loop, tugging you into him. as your body collides with his he bends down to catch your lips in a kiss. your hands are awkwardly pressed against his chest, not really knowing what to do with them. one arm is holding you in place, the other placed at the back of your neck. “i missed you,” he tells you through small kisses and breaths. “didn’t miss me when your tongue was down jieun’s throat,” you spit back, slightly pushing him back. 

jeno laughs, looking up at the ceiling before his eyes fall back onto you. you cross your arms over your chest. you were going to let him get away with it, but you can’t let it slide. not after what he told you that same day. even after what he showed you? you needed answers. 

“yn…come on, i already apologized.” he tells you, hands moving to touch you again. you jerk back so he doesn’t touch you, jeno sighs in response.

“jeno. you told me you loved me, then you went and made out with jieun that same day!” you tell him, and he holds his face in his hands, an exasperated sigh falling from his mouth. “you went outside with eric and left me there by myself, how do i know you didn’t make out with him?” he shoots back at you. you scoff rolling your eyes at his response. “i broke it off with him for you,” you tell him. “ok…and jieun came onto me and i wasn’t thinking straight” he tells you, walking towards you…wanting to hold you. “i was watching you and eric that night, why do you think i was so mad?” he says, eyebrows furrowed in slight anger. “when i came up to you at the bar? that wasn’t when i first got there,” you look up at him, expression full of confusion. “i seen him help you down the stairs, watch your drink, hold your purse—all that shit,” he says to you and you’re rendered speechless. “that should’ve been me…and i swear if i could go back in time and go with you, that night—i would.” he concluded his statement, hands holding your face softly. 

you stand on your tiptoes to capture his lips in a kiss, you knew you would fold and forgive him…all you wanted was a proper apology. you couldn’t stay mad at him for too long…

“are you still mad at me?” jeno asks after he pulls away from your lips. you respond silently, bringing your hands up to show ‘just a little’ with your fingers. the both of you laugh, going back to making out. jeno’s hands grip your waist tightly, if he’s speaking honestly he’s afraid of letting you go. he feels that if he lets you go he’ll lose you again…and he can’t risk that, never again. 

“don’t leave me again…” he whispers, lips barely grazing yours. “never leave me…please” he’s practically begging right now. “don’t do shit to push me away then jeno,” you tell him, arms wrapped around his shoulders. he nods in response, arms wrapping tighter around your middle. he squeezes you softly, inhaling your scent. 

—

the last few days have been hectic to say the least. you and jeno have been in contact, very much so in fact. you’ve been over to his place a few times but you haven’t brought him around jaehyun yet. you feel kind of bad, he tried so hard to protect you from him but you went right back. so you don’t have the heart to tell him you guys are on good terms just yet. 

jaebae: im waiting outside, sungchan is here too !

you: okaaay, im coming rn just have to grab some things from my locker. 

[ jae liked this message ] 

“look at you, what have i done…” jeno says into your ear, licking the back. “you were such a good girl, where’d she go? hm?” you don’t respond, you just look up at him from your place on the floor. your pretty eyes are glazed over with wetness from your previous activities. 

“you just do everything i fucking tell you too, huh?” jeno’s hand goes back to your hair, gripping your locks firmly. “such a good little slut for daddy,” he praises you. your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, biting down hard enough to draw blood. you look up at him wanting for him to do something so badly. jeno looks down at you slyly, smiling at you sickly. “you want my cock, baby?” he asks rhetorically, bobbing your head up and down for you. “yeah? huh? you want it?” he asks, making you nod your head again.. “p-please…” you whisper, looking up at him with teary eyes. jeno groans audibly, grip tightening on your hair. he jerks your head in the direction of his pants, squishing your face against his clothed boner. you whine, hands going to grip his legs to stabilize yourself.

“unzip em, now” he tells you. 

you nod, hands shakily moving to unzip him. jeno jerks you back by your hair again, and you yelp. he bends down slightly, getting close to your face. “use your fucking mouth” he says, unoccupied hand squishing your cheeks. he hallows them out, forcing your tongue to poke out. he stands back up to his full height, moving you back to in front of his bulge. you open your mouth teeth grazing the cold metal of his zipper. you grab the zipper with your teeth, pulling it down—unzipping him. 

“such a good slut for me,” jeno praises once you free his rock hard cock. “open.” he demands and you obey. lolling your tongue out of your wet mouth, waiting patiently for your treat. jeno strokes his dick a few times, thumbing the tip. he spreads his pre cum around, making your anticipation and need for him run wild. he leans forward, spitting into your open mouth.

“you ready for me?” he asks and you nod, mouth still hanging open.

he slaps the tip on your tongue, grinding against you a few times. low girthy groans leave his mouth, loving the wetness of your mouth. your arms are politely crossed behind your back, knowing you're not allowed to touch him unless he says so. 

“fuck, i missed this” he moans out, pushing deeper into your mouth. his tip is hitting the back of your throat making you gag but you couldn’t care less. jeno’s other hand goes to your hair, pushing further down your throat. you gargle around his length, choking on his size. jeno loves the sound of you choking, ego boosting a bit as it reminds him how big he is. he looks down at you, sweat dripping down his bare chest and forehead. hot tears roll down your face as you look back up at him. he fucks into your mouth a few more times, nearing his orgasm. you shut your eyes tightly, letting him abuse your throat roughly. “f-fuck—shit” he mumbles, biting his lip as he empties his load down your throat messily. a mixture of your salty tears, spit and cum drips down your mouth and chin. jeno bends down to look at you closer, eyeing the slick mixture of nastiness as it drips down. it all pools atop your cleavage but you were too busy trying to catch your breath to care. you gasp in and out, chest heaving. jeno smiles sickly. god he loved ruining you. 

“you’re so hot, i fucking love you” he whispers, crashing his lips onto yours. 

—

“hey! what took you so long?” jae greets you with open arms. 

you slightly smile, accepting his free hug. he holds the back of your head, his other hand rubbing your middle. you sigh out of sheer habit, you were a sucker for hugs like these. may or may not have to do with you liking to be dominated…but who cares? 

“mmm, my bad…ran into an old friend” you mumble into his chest. jaehyun just nods, still holding you. 

“alright fuckers, we’re hungry. let’s go!!” haechan yells from his seat in sungchan’s car. 

you and jae laugh, parting from each other. he opens the car door for you, and you accept happily. 

j: stop letting that fucking asshole touch you. 

you: why are you even watching us???

j: that’s how i hold you after im done rearranging your guts, he’ll never be me.

you roll your eyes at his jealous texts. the toxicity is real. 

you: what are you on about?

j: fuck jeong jaehyun that’s what. 

you: omg. bye jeno. 

j: don’t play with me, i’ll fuck you in front of him. 

you: is that a threat or a promise?

j: you into that ?? such a nasty little slut. 

you: your slut. now get off my phone, im with my friends. 

j: i love you

[ you liked this message ] 

—

“so~ what you been up too?” haechan asks you. you roll your eyes, biting the fry in your hand. 

you were seated in between haechan and jaehyun. the six of you guys occupied the booth in the back of the burger joint. it was just the four of you guys, but you guys ran into eric and sunwoo so haechan extended the invite. 

the more the merrier you guessed lol. 

“not much, i had practice yesterday…haven’t been there in awhile” you say, haechan nods in response. 

“ahh, fun. you like being back?” he asks with a full mouth of hamburger. you don’t even flinch at it, you guys are more than comfortable with each other. “i like it, I missed playing,” you respond.

you fiddle with the straw in your cup, you’re very full and kind of bored now. you watch everyone talk and chow down. haechan and sungchan are talking about some new girl on the cheer squad, sunwoo and jae are talking about god knows what. but eric…is looking at you. you hold eye contact with him, you wonder what he’s thinking. 

eric: can we talk? 

you look down at the text and look back up at eric. he nods at your phone, telling you to text back. 

you: …about?

eric: yk what yn…come on. pls?

you: idk eric…i don’t have anything to say.

eric: what? we almost kissed that night

eric: i gave you my sweater dude

eric: none of that meant anything? none of it? 

you: eric, i already told you…i like you as a friend. 

eric: you were gonna let me kiss you that night 

you: i know..and i shouldn’t have, i’m sorry

eric: i don’t want your sorry 

eric: i want you

eric: please, give me a chance yn

“can you take me home?” you whisper into jae’s ear. you clutch the bottom of his shirt tightly. 

“wha? are you ok?” he asks, too loud for your liking. you look at eric out of the side of your eye, he’s staring at the two of you. you were never good with confrontation, but in your defense you already shot him down. one time should be enough. 

“ok, babe let’s go.” he tells you, holding your hand. 

he guides you out the booth, helping you stand up. you clutch his hand tighter, just wanting to be home at this moment. “yoo, where are you guys going?” haechan slurs, obviously having had one too many beers. “i’m—” you cut him short. “s-say it’s because of you,” 

“i don’t feel too well, and she’s sleepy,” he lies with a pretty smile.

 you couldn’t have asked for better friends. 

eric looks like he’s about to say something but he doesn’t. he watches you quietly, walking away hand in hand with jaehyun. 

—

“so he made you feel uncomfortable?” kevin asks, fingers running through your strands. 

you nod, nuzzling your face into his lap, sleepiness overcoming your senses. “i know it’s kind of my fault—i shouldn’t have let him almost kiss me..” you confess. kevin hums in response, still rubbing your head. it was putting you to sleep, relaxation was inevitable due to his motions. 

“it was still a dick move though, i’m glad jae was there.” kevin says and you hum, agreeing with his statement. 

“so what’s up with you and lee?” he asks, figuring you would like a subject change. 

you shrug. 

“not sure, we’ve been fucking…a lot” you mumble, finger tracing the plaid pattern of his pajama pants. “—and he tells me he loves me, but i don’t know kev” you continue on. 

you didn’t want to ramble but you have lowkey been pondering on where the two of you will end up. especially since he’s been more open with his feelings and focusing on you more than he has ever before. there was just a tad bit of an issue.

!! lee jeno doesn’t date !!

duh! this has been the issue since the first time the two of you fucked, yet it feels different now…you can’t deny that. something deep down is telling you he’s going for a different approach but after what he pulled last time you’re not so sure. you don’t wanna be the dumb girl that continues to give your heart to the asshole that keeps breaking it. but then again, you’re a grown ass adult and can make your own grown ass decisions. who’s going to say something about it? 

—

“jeno, stop it!” you whined, kicking your legs like a child. 

you’ve been trying to do your homework for the past hour or so now and jeno keeps on bothering you. tickling, biting, licking, kissing, you name it, he’s done it. you’re splayed across his bed, laptop in sight but certainly not in use. jeno is standing in between your legs, looking down at you. 

“nooo, fuck your homework…cuddle with me” jeno whines. 

his hands trace your bare thighs, the pads of his fingertips tracing the faded hickeys and bite marks left by his mouth. you shiver at his cold touch.

“i dont think i’ve fucked you in this position” jeno whispers, gripping your waist as he bends down to be face to face with you. “um, yeah you did actually,” you tell him, mind dating back to that day he cuffed you and fucked you for not listening to him. you press your finger to his forehead, pushing his face away.

“i don’t remember…” he whispers, making his way up to your ear. “...i guess i’ll just have to do it again,” he says slyly, kissing your ear softly. 

jeno traces your skin with his nose, dragging it from your earlobe and down your neck slowly. he licks a stripe up your throat. you bite your lip, but you have to hold your own. 

“no jeno, not right now…later” you say, your voice betraying you. “you don’t sound so sure of yourself,” jeno laughs, pecking your cheek. “shut up, get off me” you roll your eyes, pushing at his chest knowing you can’t push him if your life depended on it. 

“gimme fifteen minutes, come on” he tells you, intertwining your fingers with his. 

“come on pretty…you know you want me too” he teases, grinding down on you with a sick smirk.

you did want him. when did you not? you roll your eyes at him, letting your head fall back onto the mattress. 

“good girl,” he snickers, kissing your nose. 

“yeah yeah, get on with it” you say. 

jeno falls to his knees, hands automatically grabbing your thighs. he hoists your open legs onto his shoulders. he eyes your panties, leaning forward to kiss your clothed heat. he looks up at you but your looking away. too embarrassed to watch right now. no matter how many times you guys fuck, you’re always shy. 

“look at me babygirl..” he says, voice muffled because his mouth is pressed against you. he pushes your panties to the side, tongue immediately going to tease your clit. you clutch the bedsheets under you, still refusing to look at him. jeno chuckles, arms wrapping tighter around your thighs. his hands squeeze your inner thighs, pinching the supple skin. jeno licks a stripe up your slit, moving his tongue in a circle atop your clit. you moan quietly, not too loud. 

He eyes you again, but you’re still looking away. he breathes out, teeth grazing your thighs. he bites down, sinking his teeth into your inner thigh. you jolt, sucking in a breath. 

“oh my god!” you shout, sitting up onto your elbows in a flash. “fucking listen to me” he says, licking over where he bit you to soothe the pain. a whine comes out your throat as you lay back down. jeno just laughs. 

“now…back to my meal,” he snickers. 

he continues to eat you out like a starved man. you learned your lesson, watching his every move. 

“fuck,” you stutter, struggling to keep your eyes open. jeno loves it. 

“keep em open, baby” he tells you in between licks to your heat. 

he sucks on your clit, middle and ring finger moving in and out of you quickly. your fingers dig into the sheets, gripping tightly to the fabric. you moan out loudly, thankful that the apartment is empty. 

“are you close?” jeno asks, and you nod furiously. 

he fastens his pace with his fingers, unattaching his mouth from you so he can get a good look at your face while you cum. a free hand goes up to squeeze your boobs, rolling your nipple in between his fingers. you let out a shaky moan as you feel that familiar fuzzy feeling in your gut. 

“i’m close–so close” you manage to say. 

jeno nods, licking his lips. he dips back down to your heat, sucking on your clit again. you arch your back at that, thighs squeezing against his face. jeno pushes your legs back open, a small grunt leaving his mouth as he does so. he twists his tongue every which way, getting you to your high. “f-fuck” is all you can mutter before you cum. 

jeno laps it all up. his saliva, your juices and release all mixed together making a slick mess. you push him away weakly, whining because your sensitive. jeno keeps eating though, not bothered by your weak attempt to get him to stop. 

“always so sweet,” he says with a toothy grin, wiping his face with the back of his hand. 

you don’t respond, just flipping him off. jeno rolls his eyes, grabbing your hand. he uses it to flip you over on your tummy. a small squeal of surprise leaves you, you weren’t expecting that. 

“you got your release, now i want mine” he tells you with a small smack to your ass. 

he climbs atop his bed, hands holding your hips. he pushes his clothed cock against your ass letting you feel how hard he is. you bite your lip in response. you were still sensitive. nonetheless you grind against him, rubbing your core against his boner. jeno lets out a low moan, pushing up against you too. you let your head fall against the mattress, hands laid flat against it to keep yourself upright. you swivel your hips, pushing harder against him. 

“fuck, im about to cum in my pants” jeno says and you laugh lightly.

jeno slips out of his sweats with a quickness, wanting to at least be in you for a few before he actually cums. he aligns himself with your hole, pushing all the way in. 

“a-ah, fuck” you say, looking back at jeno over your shoulder. 

“you’ve been taking my cock all week like a good girl, you don’t need to adjust anymore,” he says, pushing in and out of you at a quick pace. 

you can feel every vein on his cock, it’s making your head spin. he grips your hips, steadying himself as he drills you from the back. you squeeze your eyes shut, gripping the sheets under you tightly. you feel like you’re about to cum already. he fucks you fast and hard, his head thrown back girthy moans coming from his throat. sweat drips down his bare chest, a work of art he is. you were sure your hips were gonna bruise though as hard as he’s holding them. 

“always so fucking tight, i love it” jeno says, bending down to be right in your ear. 

he uses a hand to grip your thigh, pulling it forcing you to spread your legs wider. you yelp in surprise. his other hand presses to the small of your back, telling you to arch. 

“f-fuck, there you go–-good girl” he leaves a smack to your ass, fucking into you even harder. 

he’s no longer holding your hips. both his hands are holding the headboard, using it as leverage so he can drill you as hard as he wants. you let yourself go, not even bothering to say you were close. clenching down onto him as you release yourself. he moans at that, feeling the extra wetness. he doesn’t stop though, he keeps going. you feel your nerves going crazy, you were sensitive before but now you were extra sensitive. 

“i’m sensitive, jeno” you whine, using your hands to try and push his hips to make him stop. 

“move your fucking hands” he sneers. 

he grabs both your wrists, pinning them to your back. he continues to fuck you mercilessly. hot tears run down your face, pooling onto the bed sheets. he climbs up your body, making his way to your face. “cum for me, princess” he whispers to you. he kisses your face a couple of times. 

“come on, you can do it” he tells you. you shake your head vigorously. “i know you can do it baby,” he pressed a kiss to your cheek lovingly. 

it blows your mind how sweet he’s being. kissing on you while he fucks the shit out of you. backwards, but makes complete sense as far as lee jeno goes. you let go, that little knot in your tummy coming undone. jeno continues to push in and out of you, allowing you both to ride out your highs. you breathe heavily as you try to calm your nerves. you just came three times in a span of an hour. man he’s good. 

“you did so well,” jeno says as he presses a kiss to your forehead. 

“you’re not touching me for the next two weeks” you say, flicking his forehead. 

“now you know damn well,” jeno laughs, laying down next to you. 

—

“i wanna tattoo” jaehyun says. 

“woah, really? you’d look so hot” haechan says with a mouth full of food. 

“on everything, where do you want it?” you asked, sipping on the drink in front of you. 

you and the regulars were currently on a “once a month lunch date”. your very own friend holiday that you guys created to make sure you guys always stay in contact. today haechan and sungchan crashed you guys, but it’s fine. they’re basically your roommates too. 

“i’m thinking about the forearm” jae answers and you nod. 

“everytime you play everyone will be able to see it, good spot” kevin agrees. 

“do you know what you wanna get?” sungchan asks, jaehyun shakes his head no in response. 

“regular you already gets all the girls, now imagine when he’s tatted” sungchan jokes, you guys all laugh. “man, but i never see you with any” haechan says, looking at jae for answers. “kid you not, as long as we’ve been staying together he hasn’t brought one girl home—ever.” kevin says and you nod. “i can second that statement” you agree with kevin.

jaehyun rolls his eyes in response. “you guys are so embarrassing” he groans, toying with the food on his plate. “it’s true!” you and kevin say in unison. “kev brings home a new girl every week,” you start. “yeah, and yn used to bring jeno over everyday” kevin jokes. “haha, so funny kev. it was not everyday.” you give him a dirty look. “oh please, the man was practically living there,” he follows up. “oh my god, it was like…once or twice a week!” you defend yourself. jaehyun shakes his head with a laugh. 

“it was like everyday…” jae says, scratching the back of his head. 

“fucking traitor,” you mumble with a pout. 

“speaking of jeno…” kevin starts. 

“conversation over.” you shut him down right away. 

“come on, let’s talk about your potential baby daddy,” haechan teases. 

you roll your eyes in response to their teasing. 

“damn, no rubber? you’re wild yn” sungchan says with a laugh. 

“plastic is bad for the environment, you should be thanking me” you joke. 

the table erupts in laughter at your joke. 

“get the bill so we can get the hell out of here” 

—

you and jeno were cuddled up on the couch, flicking through selections on the TV. you were stuffing your face with the popcorn while he tried to find an anime you guys haven’t watched. 

“what about death note?” he asks. 

“love it, but i just rewatched it” you respond. 

“anohana?” “menma is kinda annoying,” “boruto?” “nah, the manga is better,” “full metal alchemist?” “i’m sleep already,” “oh my god. what about jojo’s?” “character design is trash as fuck, hard pass.” “I GIVE UP” jeno says. 

you look up at him like he’s crazy. 

“the hell is your problem?” you say with a mouth full of popcorn. 

“you’re so picky!” jeno sneers, handing you the remote. 

“next time i give you head i’m gonna bite the tip” you say, snatching the remote from him.  

“shut the hell up,” he laughs, wrapping an arm around you and leaning his head on your shoulder. 

“ew get off me, i’m mad at you” you tell him, jabbing your elbow into his middle. 

“just find something baby, damn” he whines, holding your arm in place so you don’t hit him. 

“the holy grail itself,” you say with a wide smile. 

“this? this is what you chose?” he says with a look of disgust. 

“i don’t take cowboy bebop slander, you can shut the fuck up” you say, waving your finger in his face dramatically. “you chose this over all those other choices? really?” his mouth is agape.

“you must’ve never seen this one,” you retort. “hell no, it’s old as fuck!” jeno laughs.”shut up and watch it, you’re gonna love it” you press play on the first episode. 

—

“someone’s been living the good life, huh?” yuta says with a smirk. 

jeno looks back at him confused. 

“huh?” yuta shakes his head, turning him around in the mirror. 

the red scratch marks and bite marks decorated all over his backside. yuta laughs, patting his shoulder. “i’m tryna get like you” sungchan laughs, joining in on the conversation. 

“different girls?” yuta asks and jeno shakes his head no with a disgusted expression. 

“haven’t so much as looked at another girl since i got mines,” he tells yuta, pulling his jersey over his body. 

yuta nods with an impressed expression. 

“so…we’re all thinking about the same girl, aren’t we” haechan says and all the boys start laughing. 

“tell yn we said cut her nails” yuta jokes, slapping the back of jeno’s head before he makes his way out. 

“go figure, look who’s calling me” sungchan laughs, turning his phone so everyone can see. 

jeno sits down on the bench slipping his cleats on. 

“what’s up babygirl” sungchan says when the call connects. 

he laughs at jeno’s glare. 

“wait what? slow down,” sungchan tell you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

jeno perks up at his serious tone. he motions to his ear, sungchan tosses him his airpod case. 

“i don’t know, i just—can you come here, please?” you say, voice shaky. 

you sounded scared but jeno didn’t know why. he needed to know. 

“where is she at?” jeno mouthed and sungchan nodded. 

“where are you at, baby? send me your location, i’ll come get you” he says and you nod, doing as you were told. “okay, i sent it” you sniffled. jeno was losing his damn mind. why didn’t you call him? 

“don’t tell jeno, please…” you say, and sungchan looks up at him. 

jeno shakes his head no. 

“babe…i have to tell him,” he tells you. 

“no! please don’t, please chan…i’m begging you” you plead and sungchan nods. 

“ok, i won’t. i’m coming right now, don’t go anywhere.” he tells you and you shake your head yes. 

“ok, thank you…love you” you say before you hang up. 

“let’s go, now.” jeno says, grabbing his keys. 

—

“i told you not to tell him, sungchan!” you said, stomping your foot. 

you and sungchan were standing a few feet away from a pacing jeno. not super far but just out of earshot. 

“i couldn’t not tell him yn! he was right there when you called me,” sungchan said, defending himself. you groan, hands flying to your face. you sink down to the ground, shaking your head back and forth. sungchan rolls his eyes at your dramatic actions. he crouches down to be at your level, joining you on the floor. 

“he’s gonna fucking kill me” you mutter, squeezing your eyes shut. “come on, it can’t be that bad” sungchan tells you, rubbing your back. “i came here with eric!” you whisper shouted, looking back to see if jeno heard you. “oh….yeah you’re dead” sungchan says, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish smile. 

“come here yn,” jeno says. 

you swallow harshly, standing to your feet. you stuff your shaky hands into your sweater pockets. shuffling towards where jeno stands, your eyes watch the gravel under your sneakers. once you're in arms length, he grabs your forearm, tugging you towards the back seat. he opens the door aggressively, jerking his chin forward telling you to climb in. you do so, sitting in the middle seat. you fold your hands and rest them on your thighs. jeno tosses sungchan the keys before he climbs into the back seat. 

—

the air is thick. awkward and super quiet. even though there’s music playing it still seems super quiet. you look over at jeno. he’s staring out the window, jaw clenched tightly. even the grip he has on your thigh is strong. 

“j-jeno?” you whisper. 

he doesn’t respond, he just turns to look at you. 

“if you’re not gonna tell me why you were here, i don’t wanna hear shit from your mouth” he sneers. you flinch, his words hurt you. he’s never talked to you like that before. 

“i-i was here with someone…but something came up! i j-just needed a ride home” you lie, believably so at that. jeno wasn’t buying it though. he knows you too well. 

“you’re lying. don’t fucking lie to me, yn” jeno says, he raises his eyebrows at you. 

his serious expression made your stomach churn. 

“i was here with eric…” you admit. 

“i knew it! i fucking knew it—dammit!” jeno yells, fists flying full force to punch the passenger seat in front of him. 

“why? why were you with that son of a bitch?” he asks you, rage evident in his voice. 

you hiccup, trying to calm yourself down and steady your nerves. you scoot back from him, sliding into the seat on your left hand side. 

“it wasn’t anything like that! he wanted to talk, and that’s all we did…” you started. jeno rolls his neck from side to side. jaw still clenched as he stretches his muscles. “he didn’t like my answer to him, so he kicked me out of his car and left me there” you shrugged. 

“he did what?!” sungchan and jeno shouted at the same time. 

“this is why i didn’t want to say anything!” you whined, hitting your head on the back of sungchan’s seat groaning. 

“sungchan take me home, please” you say to your friend. he nods, picking up his phone to type your address in. 

“you don’t wanna come home with me?” jeno asks and you shake your head. 

“i think we both need some time alone,” you tell jeno. “fuck that, i wanna be with you.” he tells you. “did you not see how you just reacted?! you need to blow some steam off, away from me” you shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“whatever yn,” jeno scoffs. 

“fucking kids” sungchan laughs, continuing to drive. 

—

“ow! stop, i’m sorry!” kevin cried as you pinched his ear. jeno and the other boys watched in amusement as you inflicted pain on the boy. “twist it!” haechan yelled out with a laugh. sungchan giggled, slapping haechan’s arm as he snorted loudly. 

“are you gonna do it again?” you ask tauntingly, kevin nods vigorously. “no, i swear to fucking god–just stop” kevin cries out, and you let him go. he pouts, hand flying to rub his throbbing ear. 

“and fuck you, haechan!” kevin sneers, chucking a pillow in his direction. 

you laugh as you make your way over to jeno. you climb onto his lap, making yourself comfortable on his lap. you snuggle into him, his hands wrapping around you. 

“you’re a little bitch,” jeno whispers, kissing your face. “mhm, what are you gonna do about it?” you stick your tongue out at him. he shakes his head, pinching your thigh. you whine, pushing his hand away. “yeah, that’s what i thought, don’t act tough with me” jeno says and you giggle, nodding your head. 

“haechan would be a really good name for y’all kid” hae says, tossing a pillow at the two of you. jeno catches it, throwing it back his way. “i don’t know why the fuck you thought our pitcher wouldn’t catch that” sungchan deadpans. 

"can you like shut the hell up? i like you better when you're not talking" haechan says, flinching at the taller boy.

“fuck no, kevin is a way better name!” kevin shouted, slapping the back of haechan’s head. “all i know is…i wanna be the godparent,” sungchan says with a wide smile. 

—

prev | part iii | next

taglist [ 1 ] :: @vantxx95 @travelleratheart1011 @underjeno @bockhyun @jaeymark @ggukkyu @cuteejeno @gaeulswrld @aliceinwhateverland @punnshine @4-eternity @kkakkdugi @tokyosmind @roseymerrie @oohyansi @melaninjhs @curieouscapt  @svtrny​ @youryuno​ @jenyongcas​ ​ @pewpewpwe00​​ 

taglist [ 2 ] :: @produmads @slumpdumppy @tsuw4n @nctflix @daegalfangirl (ily<3) @bebskyy @yutatojii @hubneo @kaslululi @nctqen @sadgirlroo @maliakealoha @megumiiichanie @jeonjona @jaehyuniewifeu @ggukkyu @jeongyunoenjoyer @sheila9747e @jenyongcas

if i missed you pls let me know !! there was a lot of ppl that wanted to be added, so i might've missed a few.

[jeork]

TC Tag Game

As always I’m excessively late to the party, but thanks @renaultphile for the tag!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

I don’t have a copy of the book at hand right now, but while Laurie is visiting home for the wedding he goes on a walk and recites this weird incest-y song to himself, then contemplates how it always felt relatable to him. I’m not saying he would not fucking say that, because obviously he does and I hear him quite clearly. But I am saying maybe he should not have fucking said that. 

Also Ralph calling Bunny “Boo”. I don’t care how drunk he was, you don’t randomly slip out with a word you wouldn’t otherwise use. It’s part of his vocabulary. This one had me in contemplation for months, like, would he ever call Laurie that? Does this count towards the bad habits and lifestyle choices he wants to abandon while being with Laurie? Whole scene’s just embarrassing af 

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

I think they probably did, but that it was very chaste. I’m convinced the kiss between Laurie and Andrew is supposed to mirror it almost exactly. The way I see it, Laurie didn’t fully process it and therefore just stood there. From the flashback he got later on while holding onto Ralph’s sleeve while they’re in Ralph's room I think Laurie might’ve grabbed onto Ralph’s arm a little. But other than that I don’t think he did much, which made Ralph decide he wasn’t ready yet.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I wasn’t aware this is something people discuss lmao, I’ve only thought about it once myself. Gonna be a party pooper and say he has none, as it's "improper"

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I feel like me and @renaultphile are the only ‘59 truthers. I think I once even wrote an entire post just on why I like that Mary cut the knee-touch?

Again, don’t have any book copies at hand right now, but I remember one small detail in the ‘53 I really loved. During Alec’s birthday party while he’s blowing out the candles everyone is looking at him, and for a moment there’s this shared feeling of hopefulness. In the ‘53 Laurie feels someone’s eyes on him, but by the time he turns around Ralph has already stopped looking. Something about Ralph glancing at Laurie in this moment, who’s presence represents so much to Ralph, makes me ache. 

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

I guess the obvious answers would be something like Hazell, Sandy or Bunny, but I feel like Andrew would run the most terrifically angsty aesthetic account. Also young Laurie, he'd probably write bad poetry or something

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

The two guys holding hands in dead silence, not because I can relate, but because they really set the scene. Or the petty shit-stirrer who snitches on Ralph having a boyfriend. Or the other petty shit-stirrer who cries "Here comes Bim"

7. Post a TC meme.

I used to run a TC meme account over on Twitter. I’ve planned on reposting all of that stuff on here sometime, in the meantime here’s one: 

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Dave. The Mature Wholesome Elder act he’s putting on at the end is pissing me off. Self-serving cu- 

Also, following the heavy implications that Alec had been snuggling it up with Bunny for quite a while, I think he got off pretty scot free 

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

I really wanted him to stay friends with Reg. I always felt like Madge’s Aunt Vera joke was pretty funny and well intended, albeit improper and terribly timed. It didn’t come off to me as her making fun of him for being gay. More like her trying to awkwardly bond over it, similar to Reg during The Bathroom Talk���. If Laurie hadn’t been so emotionally rattled at that time I feel like he would’ve played it off. It was such bad timing for him. So I wanna scream at him “Chill out, they’re clearly not out to get you!” 

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

I think there still might be a couple minor details, but I can’t remember them right now. The only bigger piece of dialogue that’s still a little intransparent to me is Ralph’s whole speech at the beginning of their post-wedding trip argument. I have my theories about it, but would also enjoy to hear more. 

Considering I’m over a month late and have no clue who did this tag already I’ll open it up to whoever might still wanna do it. 

[pinkthick]

REQUEST ARE OPEN

You can choose from down below any prompt/prompts you want with the following characters:

✩ Stephen Strange

✩ Defender Strange

✩ Sinister Strange

✩ Doctor Strange Supreme(What if?)

✩ Supreme Strange

✩ Monster(from vampires to werewolves lmao) Stephen Strange

✩ Sherlock Holmes

The fanfictions won’t be really long (1500 max ig?) and they would probably be Fem!Reader (I could try with gn!reader too). Choose a sentence/sentences from down below and you can give your own ideas too.

I will be going on a trip so they probably won’t be posted this week(bear with me please).🙏

Prompts

✩ Angst

1. ”Is everything a joke to you?"

2. "It's my fault, I didn't listen to everyone saying this would be a mistake!"

3. "Why does everything have to be a struggle with you?"

4. "I can't believe you sometimes!"

5. “Great. Really great, this is just perfect.”

6. "Why can't you just let it go?"

7. "That is the dumbest excuse I have ever heard!"

8. "Maybe you should just leave now."

9. "Oh yes, you're so great.”

10. "I really don't understand what's going on with you sometimes!"

11. "I will leave now, or I'm going to say things I will regret later.”

12. "Have you never actually thought about how I would feel about this?"

13. "Maybe this is it, because I can't do this anymore!"

14. "Don't you dare just walk away right now!”

15. "This wouldn't even be a problem, if you wouldn't make one out of it."

16. "How does that make it okay?"

17. "Do you even listen to yourself?"

18. "I'm glad I finally get to see who you really are.”

19. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Breathe."

✩ Fluff

1. "I thought you left" "Nope, just making pancakes"

2. "I never want to let you go.”

3. "I can't believe you remembered that" "I remember everything about you"

4. "I'm so proud of you"

5. "Did you just call me sweetheart?"

6. "Take my affection before I choke you with it"

7. "Is it okay if I fall asleep here?"

8. "I can keep you company till you fall asleep"

9. "I can't imagine my life without you"

10. "You complete me"

11. "I'm counting down the days until I see you"

12. "I love your apartment" "Our apartment"

13. "Sorry for borrowing your clothes" "Dont be. You look great in them"

14. "One more kiss?"

15. "I'm so glad I met you"

16. "Can I try some of your food?" "Of course. Open wide"

17. "Thanks for believing in me"

✩ Horror(?)

1. "I want to know how you'll taste between my teeth."

2. "I can never get enough of you. I'll drink you down to the last sip."

3. "You look delicious. I won't stop until I've eaten every bite.”

4. “I'm going to engrave myself into your very being.”

5. "We won't stop until you're so covered in my scent, no one will dare touch you again.”

6. "Don't play with fire if you don't want to burn.”

7. "Don't complain now you did this to yourself.”

8. "You reap what you sow."

9. “This hurts me more than it hurts you.”

10. "Why are you acting like you don't know me?”

11. "Why are you running? I did this for you!"

12. “You don't need a job, baby. Your job is being mine.”

13. "You're better off without them anyway.”

14. “I removed the problem. You should be thanking me.”

15. “I would never hurt you. You know that, right?”

16. "Why are you scared?”

17. "You're the only reason worth living for.”

18. "Why would you want to leave? I'm keeping you here for your own good!”

19. "There's nothing left for you but me. Everyone else is gone."

20. "No one will ever find you here."

21. “If his filthy hands touch you again I'll kill him.”

22. "Shouldn't you be spending more time with me?”

23. "I can't control how I react when your eyes wander.”

24. “The truth would have just hurt you.”

25. "I'm not lying - I bent the truth a little to protect you."

26. "Don't you believe me?”

27. "I've done everything for you and this is how you repay me?”

28. "I can't eat, I can't sleep. You're all I can think about.”

29. "To my dying breath, I'll never let you go."

30. "I'll follow you to the ends of the earth. No matter where you run, I'll catch you.”

31. "Did you really think I wouldn't find you?”

Credits for the prompts @diety-prompts, @writeformesinpie and @creativepromptsforwriting

[missgryffin]

Okay so I rewatched the new Bridgerton episodes 1-4, and while everything I said in this post is still true for me, I also kept another bullet-point list this time of all the things I did like now that I'm past the initial shock of the storyline 😂

The queen’s hair pieces are more extra and amazing than ever!!! Huge props to their costume and wardrobe department because they all majorly served.

The queen and Lady Danbury's friendship is so much more meaningful now having watched Queen Charlotte 🥹

Seeing a very socially awkward Bridgerton is actually so refreshing!! I didn't expect to love Fran this much.

I also loved the early camaraderie between Fran and Pen in ep 1. I wish we would have seen more of that in subsequent eps.

El’s summer muffs 😂

I do like Colin’s acquired wisdom and perspective. I like that he's gotten out of the little London bubble he's in and broadened his mind, and I think it's important to show he has matured and is no longer the boy about to get baby-trapped by Miss Thompson 😳 I just wish he wouldn't be so flat in the delivery of all that!!

Okay the lemonade lesson scene is some of the best chemistry out of them???? The looks they give each other?!?!?!?! WE NEEDED MORE AND MORE OF THIS!!!

At the next ball, on the right track. Playing the game of sending her to talk to suitors. Complimenting her. Laughing together!!! This is the direction!!!

El making friends by being herself!! “You are a most entertaining speaker” she is! She's so funny and personable. I just love Eloise. I'm really happy that she's coming into her own more.

“Your arrogance does not count as two people” 💀 This is such a Lily to James line and I love it so much 🤣 Also the whole side-plot of the Featherington sisters made me giggle every time. It was a bit cliché and tacky, but that's also their narrative purpose? And I appreciated the little glimpses of authenticity despite that, like when Prudence admits she doesn't like sex. Also, did everyone else know that Prudence's real-life mum is Imelda Staunton aka Dolores Umbridge bc I did not!!!

Then they did the leak and it all went downhill….☹️

Okay but the kiss is actually a great first kiss!! All the hesitation, then letting go a little bit, then the hasty "oh shit" retreat 🤌

Nicola’s an incredible actress. The range of emotions she conveys as Penelope is unmatched.

THE DREAM IS WHAT WE NEEDED TO SEE IN REAL LIFE COURTING!!!!!!!!

The post-kiss talk under the tree is the perfect level of awkwardness, doesn’t even need the Whistledown component. 

The cupcake moment is great!! WE NEED MORE OF THIS KIND OF TENSION!!!!

So I found the balloon scene in general to be kind of stupid and pointless BUT upon rewatch I must say Colin looks great in this scene. The boots!!! His outfit is really sexy. I mean this scene was obviously an excuse to show him looking athletic, but I think it worked??

The Mondriches! I love them. I’ve been reading mixed opinions online on Bridgerton’s handling of race within the social stratification of everything, so I’m still absorbing information as to that layer of things. But I do sense that narratively, bringing them into the ton was the writers’ easy way to keep them in the main cast, and I do have to say I’m very glad they’re still around even without the duke, and I love their friendship with the Bridgertons! Also they have such a healthy marriage and sweet relationship. 

Violet flirting!!!!!!!! And her dress in ep 3 is stunning, she looks incredible 🪭

Lady Featherington’s “No.” to the lamp guy is the epitome of “no is a complete sentence” and I'm here for it!!! 🤣 Someone find me a self-important man I can so "No" to like that, it looks like it would feel so satisfying.

Feeling more invested in Ben and Lady Tilly than Polin at this point lmao. Their banter and tension is so good!! 

So I do like the function of Debling’s genuine attention being a big confidence boost for Penelope and helping show her that the problem isn’t with her but with the ton and baked-in mean girl dynamics. I just wish this could have been worked differently to ultimately feed more Polin development. 

Colin being interrupted!! And watching her dance with someone else!! Yes yes yes. BUT!!! BUTTTTT!!! This is the kind of scene that needs to not end on the dance, but on more Polin post-dance. Like Colin growing a pair and asking for the next dance, and people being like 👀 and/or Pen following up with Colin about what he had been about to say before they were interrupted. Like a hot dance conversation? And suddenly Pen's the unexpected center of attention because two men are seemingly "competing" for her and one of them is Colin. (Which, imo, is scandalous all on its own — they didn't need the Whistledown leak storyline to create Whistledown drama, the "scandal" of Colin pursuing her publicly while she's excited about his developing feelings would have sufficed for that!)

I adored Fran’s silent moments with John. The way he saw her and they connected on such a deep soul level right away was so sweet and touching. And the scene of all the family watching them 😂 I was grinning!! 

The little moments between the Queen and Brimsley!! 😭😭

“Past lives are dangerous places to revisit.” Ugh chills. Such a good line.

I actually really like Lord Samadani. He seems like a great guy, just not the right match for Fran. But he’s better than Colin’s smarmy friends, all of whom I want to punch in the face!

SNOW ON THE BEACH!! 😭 Ugh this is GORGEOUS on strings!! And this should have been used for a good Polin scene!! Not Pen getting told Debling won’t love her and then dumping her!!!! 😩

Colin chasing her into the carriage, yes, we love to see it. Even his speech, there was a lot of good stuff in there. I just think we needed more build-up and different circumstances surrounding this, because the Debling proposal-not proposal was unnecessary imo.

Also I wanted to see more of Colin defending Pen to others instead of always deflecting. That really stood out to me on rewatch.

I'm still bitter about Pitbull. Pitbull is for clubs, not carriages!! 😒

[zzhhbloom]

demon (or world's best matchmaker?)

≡ᶻᶻ༄ synopsis: a demon from the underworld (read: an owl) has invaded your room. despite your best efforts (involving a lot of running around and deep breaths and textbook projectiles), you resolved to running out of your room after you exhausted your best methods for an exorcism. and unfortunately for you, you ran into hallway crush lee heeseung, who, fortunately for you, was more than willing to assist you in getting your room back.

≡ᶻᶻ༄ genre: heeseung x gn! reader || college!au || acquantainces to friends au || mostly crack and a sprinkle of fluff?

≡ᶻᶻ༄ warnings: cussing and really weird sentence structure that barely make sense im sorry lmao. also y/n is a total scatterbrain and a simp

≡ᶻᶻ༄ word count: ~1.9k

≡ᶻᶻ༄ a/n: i~~~ haven't posted in a while but here we are. a lot of my stories, i'm finding out, are just the most randoms scenarios u can ever imagine translated into a passable reader x [insert character here] fic.

≡ᶻᶻ༄ disclaimer: this does not in any way shape or form represent the real people whose names are mentioned, this is just a deranged kpoppie trying something new :)

“There’s...an owl in my room.” 

“I’m sorry, who?”

“Yes, that. It sounds exactly like that.”

You were never going to keep your window open ever again. 

It had been approximately two (2) months and three (3) days since you moved into the boarding house a block away from your school. Two (2!) months and three (3!!!) days of living on your own for the first time in your life. It was going well, as you had assured your dad that morning. What a naïve fool you were. 

Nothing was fine anymore. 

Not with the foot-tall demon spawn with bright yellow eyes fluttering around your room as if it owned the place and was looking to clock in after a long day. 

You ducked in between your bed and bedside table, praying that it would fly back out the way it came. But after several stretched-out minutes of attempted breathing exercises, you had had enough. You scanned the floor of your room, which was usually pristine but was presently a mess thanks to your frenzied panic. You took hold of your biology textbook, prepared to use it either as a shield or a projectile depending on what the situation called for. 

“You can do this,” you hissed at yourself. All you had to do was shoo it back out the window. Simple. “Just think of it as a...a ball. Yeah. A big, easy-to-hit ball. With wings.”

You took three steady breaths. You stood up. You caught sight of it in the corner of your eye, glaring at you with the full force of hell. That was all it took for you to abandon ship without a second thought. 

You ran out the door, a silent scream stuck in your throat. You slammed the door behind you on the way out, adrenaline coursing through your veins like ice. 

“Are you...okay?”

You looked up at the only other person in the hall at this unholy hour, considerably more sane-looking than you. You knew Lee Heeseung--he was one of the other dozen students that lived in the same boarding house. It was impossible not to notice whenever he walked in a room, much less impossible to avoid looking at him, because JEEPERS did he win the gene pool lottery. 

However, at this particular point in the evening, Lee Heeseung was not somebody who you wanted to see you in the middle of the hall wearing the worst pair of pajamas the world had ever seen. So what if you’d only spoken to him a few times? You still wanted to look normal.

“Are you alright?” he repeated. God, how bad did you look? 

“Yeah, yeah,” you swallowed, now having to battle through two (2!!!!) completely different shocking situations. Frankly, you felt like a lot like y/n in one of those cringe imagines people write online.

"There's just a..." you gesticulated vaguely in the direction of your closed door. Way to make a new impression. How the hell were you going to explain...THIS.

"Did somebody enter your room?" Heeseung asked apprehensively, lowering his voice to a whisper and pitching forward so you could hear. He made it sound like you were hiding some saucy secret behind those doors.

"Um..yes? In a sense, I guess you could say that--"

Heeseung looked around and reached for a Swifer mop that so conveniently leaned against the wall like a piece of modern art (and, living in a house with a few fine arts students, it might as well could have been). "So someone is in there? Do you know who?"

"Yeah. That's exactly what they sound like."

"I'm sorry?"

"I think it's better if I just..." you took hold of the door knob and held up your textbook-turned-shield. Heeseung took that as a warning signal and tightened his grip on the neon-green floor mop. You swung the door open as quietly as you could.

A swoop of wings and scrapping of talons burst out of nowhere, heading straight for at you.

BAM

You slammed the door shut. You looked up at Heeseung as if to say, "Do you see my problem?"

"Holy shit," he stared at the wood of the closed door before turning to you. "How long were you trapped in there for?"

You shivered. "Way too long."

Heeseung set his jaw, pulling his hood up over his head like it was a helmet that could do anything against a set of very sharp claws. He tightened his grip on the mop.

"You don't need to do this," you said apologetically. "I can ask someone else."

"I doubt any of the housekeepers are up right now," he extended the mop handle to its maximum length, locking it in place with a click. "So unless you'd like to spend the night in the common room and hope to God it's gone by morning..."

You shook your head vigorously, turning to face the door, your knuckles white around its knob. It was like a spider. Better get it out of the house before you lost sight of it. But even spiders were better than an imp from the underworld.

"On the count of three," he whispered to you.

"Slowly," you nodded. "One..."

"Two,"

At your unified whisper of "Three-!", you twisted the knob creaking the door ajar as quietly as you could. Heeseung peaked in over your head.

"It's on the blinds," he whispered. You could feel his breath ruffling your hair. Snap out of it, you hissed at yourself. Deciding to panic about this scandalously close proximity another day, you creaked the door further open.

The owl perched itself rather uncomfortably on the blinds above your open window. It had its head tucked underneath one wing but looked relatively unharmed. You noted, with immense relief, that your room was also in a better state than you imagined. You guessed it hadn't really done much while you were out except to fly around in a confused circle, and you had been the one at fault for recreating a crime scene.

"It's right there," you hissed at it, gesturing at the wide-open window half a foot away from its talons.

The owl untucked its head and gave you a steely glare. You let out something that sounded a little like "meep!" and held up the textbook up to your face. Psh. Like you could scare it away with diagrams of cell membranes and respiration cycles.

"Let me try," Heeseung stepped in front of you, taking the door knob from your hand and pushing it open micrometer by micrometer. You stared at the owl from under his arm. It stared back at you. Everything about it was unflinching.

Heeseung took a slow, cautious step into the thresholds of your room, holding the mop at the ready. (Some part of your schoolgirl mind was screaming at the fact that the infamous hallway crush Lee Heeseung was in your bedroom!!)

You fell into silent step behind him, clutching your own weak excuse for a weapon and closing the door behind you. The last thing any one of you wanted was to have the owl fly out into the hall and wake up everyone in the house (and risk getting kicked out now that you've finally made contact with Lee Heeseung. Of course that's not what was really important).

The two of you crossed the room, holding your breath and freezing up your joints whenever the owl so much as blinked. At one point, it stretched its neck to an unnatural length and lifted its wings. Heeseung took an instinctive step back, nearly knocking you over. And like in all those cliché y/n moments, you would have promptly fell over on your behind if you hadn't caught hold of the back of his hoodie. Thankfully, Heeseung wasn't as much of a klutz as you were, and he braced himself to keep you both from falling over, reaching an arm back to steady you if you needed it.

The owl was so close now. Heeseung extended the Swifer's mop end. Slowly, carefully, he lifted it until it was inches away from the owl's talons. It flapped its wings and your heart almost stopped permanently.

"Hey, buddy," Heeseung murmured soothingly in a voice that would have put babies to sleep in seconds. He poked the mop carefully against the bird's scaly talons of death. "Need a ride outta here?"

Somehow, the owl decided it quite liked this human with a weird stick it was shoving in its face. It shifted its weight onto the stick, offering one, slow, inquisitive blink.

You pinched the corner of Heeseung's hoodie, ready to pull him backwards to safety or offer him as a sacrificial offering depending again on what the situation called for. You needed to be ready for anything.

Soon, he began to lift the Feathered Thing with Eyes of the Highest Hatred away from the blinds. Slowly, carefully, steadily, hushing soothing nothings all the way. You knew it was meant for the bird but damn, was it working a little too well.

The mop was now low enough that all the owl had to do was turn around and fly out. But it kept its gaze fixedly on the two of you, as if two humans had gone and flown into its bedroom.

"Don't you dare fly at me," you told those all-seeing eyes.

"You heard them," Heeseung warned, voice slow and deep as he slowly inched the mop--and its passenger--out the gaping window. "Don't. You dare. Fly."

The mop was now hanging a foot outside the window. You wondered how the scene would have looked like to a passerby below--a bright green Swifer mop poking out of an open third-story window at a ridiculous hour with--heaven help them--an OWL perched ever so precariously atop it.

The owl stared at the two of you, as if to say "What now?". The two of you stared right back at it, unflinching.

A stale eternity passed. Dust particles could have been heard resting lightly on the tabletop.

Then, without warning, Heeseung shook the mop vigorously, sparing no profanity in exclaiming, "Good fucking night to you, sir!"

The owl flew majestically off into the night as if it hadn't just been thrown off a mop head. You ran to the window and slammed it shut. You didn't realize you were laughing until you tried to say something and choked on the words. Heeseung was laughing, too, pulling his hood back and looking up at the Swifer in equal parts disbelief and reverence.

"I ca't believe that worked," you managed in between bouts of laughter.

"This is going on my list of greatest life achievements for sure."

"You could start a business."

"Of throwing owls out of windows?"

"Oh, for sure," you pointed at the Swifer. "You could even get sponsored by them."

Heeseung laughed, and your face warmed. "Would you testify to the quality of my services as my first client?"

"Sure," you piped. "Cute, extremely efficient, but nearly threw the mop out the window. I demand 5% of the profit, by the way."

Heeseung was still hung up on the second word you said, a smirk spreading across his face and eyes sparkling. "I should get going. It's late. You probably want to fix up." He waved at the crumpled sheets and scattered books littered across your little room.

He picked his way through the obstacle of your belongings, turning around at the door to say. "I can't guarantee you 5% of my smashing new start-up," Heeseung went along with the bit. "But how about we hang out some time instead? Preferably without any feathered wildlife present, if that's...cool with you?"

You were laughing a lot today. "Yeah, yeah," you leaned against the door frame. Maybe that owl wasn't such a demon after all. "I'd really like that."

---------------------------

bonus: From the trees, the owl watched the exchange between the two humans happen with a smug expression. Or at least, as smug as an expression an owl can muster.

Mission accomplished. With a triumphant "whooo!" it pushed off from the branch and flew off into the night.

[satankilledmyghost]

Helloo^^ Can I request the union guys or ben and the boys with a s/o that’s like joker from windbreaker.

If you don’t know windbreaker then like a cage fighter s/o.

If you don’t want to write this you can ignore this (Love your writing<3)

hey anon! i'm going to be honest with you, i thought you were talking about joker like from batman and i tried to google a movie that doesn’t exist lmao. also, i ended up reading windbreaker and i do not regret my decision. at. all. thank you for making me aware of this masterpiece.

ANYWAYS-

warnings: swearing, mentions of violence, manipulation, and emotionally constipated characters in a relationship

Weak Hero x Cage Fighter s/o

Donald Na

he sees a lot of him in you and that’s what drew him in.

i don’t think donald would date you because he likes you, he thinks he does, but he’ll probably date you to find out more about himself.

your quiet nature, how you notice every little thing, even your explosive power, donald finds it alluring how similar he is to you.

he’ll put you in situations where he tests your abilities and will manipulate you to do whatever he wants.

donald will stress you out constantly, find out what makes you tick, crack, and break. and if your reactions anything like donald’s, he’ll study you to find out how he could possibly regain control of himself when he loses his composure like you did just now.

he’ll either make you an executive or throw you to the curb and break your heart once he gets what he wants.

but his words are so vilely toxic, they seep through your ears and rots out your tongue and anything you wanted to say goes with it.

you’ve been used and put into your place. and there’s nothing you can do.

Kingsley Kwan

treats you similarly to how he treats donald, but since he’s your boyfriend, he’ll try and mediate you in tense situations sometimes.

kingsley surprisingly likes pda, specifically holding hands, and you’re wary about it at first.

while he tries to get you to lighten up sometimes, kingsley understands the importance of beating up people so he won't really care.

100% will always have bandages and antiseptic on hand at the ready. your mans is prepared.

he might lecture you on being more careful, though.

Jake Ji

you and jake have the dynamic of that couple where one is super energetic and the other one is just dead inside but goes along with whatever their s/o wants to do because they love them so much

he’ll drag you to the computer cafe, to hang out with his friends, introduce you to kenny, and whatever else his chaotic mind comes up with

and you just go along with it because jake is jake. no one can say no to him, especially you.

his version of bonding with you is doing couple-y things. yours is beating the shit out of people side by side with him.

jake will totally try and get you to stop being so explosive.

you can’t even try to count how many times you’ve heard him say, “just drop it. they’re not worth fighting.”

you definitely pout after that sentence. and jake definitely finds it adorable.

Wolf Keum

you two are more of the silent company couple. you don’t need words to be exchanged, just existing next to each other is more than enough.

there’s no pda. wolf won’t allow it.

unless you consider beating people up together pda, then y’all need to be separated.

you and wolf are super toxic for each other but neither of you care nor do you acknowledge it.

Jimmy Bae

he's a bit intimidated by you, but also feels the urge to boast about his strength in the weirdest way possible.

like, you two could be hanging out with one of your friends and they mention a time where you beat the shit out of multiple people half asleep or whatever and jimmy butts in like, "shit, really? my baby's starting to grow up! next time, call me, i could've helped ya." and you and your friend are just silent like ???? okay?

other than that, jimmy's pretty chill.

he loves seeing you fight in the cage and tries to see you almost every night.

he'd take you home on his motorcycle and you enjoy the night like whizzing past you both.

you tend to find yourself feeling peaceful with jimmy.

Forrest Lee

this man has the sassiest comebacks and you two will have constant lighthearted banters.

i can see you two at about equal physical strength, but your explosiveness and silence is what puts you above him the slightest bit. and forrest holds on to that, unfortunately.

forrest will probably feel pressured to be the dominant one in the relationship, but he’s secretly okay with whatever power dynamic you two have going on. he’s totally a bottom you don’t get to change my mind.

Big Ben

he'd be confused as to why you hate everyone around you and go looking for fights, but as soon as he understands that 1. you don't. you just need the money and 2. you do care a lot about everyone else, you just can't stand bullies, ben is way more apt to support you.

ben would check in on you daily, whether you see each other or not. text messages like "hey! i'm eating chicken with gogo for lunch, are you eating lunch?" with the most unflattering selfie of your boyfriend and his best friend attached would be your reminders from ben to you that you need to eat.

always sends a good morning text, but sporadic goodnight texts are also common.

Gray Yeon

he really won't do anything about anything.

gray doesn't care who you beat up because he's just as psychotic as you can be.

will be there so you can tell your stories, though. gray will nod along and later do more research about this bitch. what for, i have no idea, he just would.

gray has made it a habit to carry around antiseptic and band aids.

dates would be gray tutoring you because you can't focus or retain anything from your classes for the life of you.

Gerard Gin

while gerard doesn't really care about what you do, he will try and stop you once in a while. and you do listen to him, but that's because when gerard stops you, you know the fight was petty to begin with.

you'd meet up with him at night and he'd take you out for a convenience store dinner, play you music, and bandage you up.

you will definitely be receiving good morning and good night texts daily, without fail.

Alex Go

training buddies. all. the. way.

gym dates.

he loves your strength and admires your ability to keep at your training.

there was one time where you got gogo a gift for no particular reason, and while you didn't think it was a big deal, alex got so flustered he didn't know what to do.

he accepted the gift with a red face, stammering out a thanks, and you just looked at him so confused.

gogo comes to you for advice on how to keep going when it gets tough.

Teddy Jin

fucking scared of you, but also respects someone who can pick fights with anyone and win.

your guys' version of date is just walking around, not really having an idea of what you wanna do, but neither of you care as you stop at a convenience store for a quick snack break.

you'd totally crash at teddy's after a long night.

you'd arrive all bloody at like one in the morning and take a shower, bandage yourself, change into comfy clothes, and head to teddy's room and fall asleep with him and co.

in the morning, you both wake up early but have no energy to actually start your days so you both end up playing with co in bed.

Rowan Im

he's very similar to jake, except rowan's basically all bark and no bite.

you teach him to fight, and he's forever grateful.

he tried, once, to watch you fight professionally, but he got freaked out and had to leave halfway through.

definitely took a picture of you with a comic book character filter at one point and now has that as either your profile photo or his wallpaper. probably both.

Eugene Gale

people will probably think you’ve bullied him. only the people who actually care to get to know you more and eugene will know that that isn’t what happened.

you teach eugene how to be more confident and stand up for himself, while he teaches you how to be there for people better.

you pick him up at cram school and spend the rest of the evening with him most days.

"study dates"- aka you two struggling to comprehend your academics and eventually giving up and ordering pizza and watching cat videos.

honestly, you two probably have one of the healthiest relationships.