#Dean's face in the one with Meg lmao

[drulalovescas]

All these scenes are pretty hilarious when you know Cas is gay

[whatnor]

sam's face after meg bursts out with "idontunderstand you're running back to your brother the guy you ran away from whyy, because he won't pick up his phone?" lmao he is so disarmed by dean and is totally self-aware it's as if he is bringing himself to tell her some lovesick shit like "meg you seem like a nice person. and one day you're gonna fall in love with someone madly, and you'll understand"

[father-salmon]

writing patterns!!

tagged by @honestlydarkprincess thank you, my bean!!

rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

(none of these are buddie so there's your disclaimer lmao)

1. God is a Bit of a Freak - Rated E, Meg Masters/Castiel/Dean Winchester

Honestly, if you ask Meg what she gets up to on a general Saturday evening, the answer isn’t what you’d expect. Yes, she’s single, nearly 30, and has… a semi-normal amount of friends. You’d think she’d be with them or on a date or something.

2. What Happens in Oz... - Rated E, Charlie Bradbury/Dorothy Baum

The way Oz works is that it’s every person for themselves. Charlie is learning this very quickly and sooner than she’d like. The body of someone she and Dorothy once considered an ally is now dead on the floor, courtesy of the latter. Blood seeps out on the tufted carpet of Oz’s version of the Men of Letters bunker. What once was the Bravest Cowardly Lion’s fur is now a stained and stepped-over relic of the past. Charlie suppresses the urge to gag. She glances at Dorothy, whose face is hardened with the stink of betrayal that hangs in the room. The air runs thick with it.

3. Holy Ground - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Cas - One Week Before the Wedding 

Coming back to a place you’d long ago given up on, feels a bit… bittersweet. Everything is nearly exactly as it was 15 years ago; the convenience shop on the corner, the church in the center, the Roadhouse. The only thing that has really changed is the people. It’s more or less the same crowd, only with more wrinkles and bigger bellies. The stores are more weather-worn, too – the paint faded on the signs and windows by the same sun that has chapped skin and dulled lined-dried clothes until the whole town seems washed out and pale.

4. enthusiastic consent - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Dean has a shadow. 

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Everyone has a shadow. 

Dean has two though, he’s sure of it. He’s been sure of it since last week when the debilitating feeling of being watched was too much to bear and now he believes it. Because he’s seen the goddamn stalker ! Albeit, handsome stalker but stalker nonetheless.

5. Bedroom Hymns - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester

The Impulse Purchase - 2014

Dean didn’t even think twice about clicking the order button on a value pack of men’s panties. If anyone were to look through his search history, he would vehemently deny it but that’s the perk of having his own computer. 6. close encounter of the fourth kind - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester/Others

To say Dean was abducted is the understatement of the century. 

His ass was literally taken out of his comfy memory foam mattress, shoved into a sac, and brought to… wherever the fuck this is: this Area 51 looking room, that’s for damn sure. 7. The Red Means I Love You - Rated E, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak

An oak tree marks Claire’s first grave. She found it on a whim, adrenaline rushing through her veins trying to find an appropriate burial spot among the woods just behind campus. She dug feverishly until she couldn’t see the ground above her, paranoia growing higher by the minute. It was only when she scrambled back up and dropped the extremely disfigured body of her mother into the ground and covered it up did she feel the relief. That was the only thing she didn’t prepare for. 

8. Butcher's Cut - Rated E, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Does Dean Winchester have a clue about what he’s doing?

No.

Is that stopping him?

Also no. 

But opening a butcher/sandwich shop in town with his best friend — neither of them having any experience of running a business — may be one of the more stupid ideas he’s ever had. Not that he’s had any good ones but, here he is. 9. baby, it's cold outside - Rated T, Castiel/Dean Winchester

THUMP! 

“Ow—son of a bitch! ”

Castiel whips his head up from where it’s buried in his book to find the source of the sound. 10. nobody cares this is the day i was born - Rated G, Castiel/Dean Winchester

Two days. That’s all he gets. Two days before his birthday, Lisa shoves a birthday card at his chest and tells him she’s breaking up with him and he’s left there with a crumpled gift and a broken heart. Two days. He’s fine. He can cope. Except it’s his birthday in two days and he had planned to spend it with Lisa and now? Well, he’s blown off every other attempt his friends have made to spend his birthday with him, so it’s definitely too late to ask if he can join in on plans they probably made without him. 

--- no pressure tag list!! @underwater-ninja-13 @bigfootsmom @loserdiaz @giddyupbuck @gaylicense @spotsandsocks @devirnis @monsterrae1 @yelenasbuddie @buckaroosheart @snarkythewoecrow @dicklessthewonderclown @bleuzombie @malicmalic @cactusdragon517 @deancodedcastielenby @songliili

[inkedmyths]

S1: E22 "Devil's Trap"

Brought to you by hey so each and every one of you who made me watch this. You all suck. This is the worst. I hate it here. What sort of BULLSHIT was that—

This episode featuring: Odd interrogation techniques, family dynamics, bodysnatching, and one deeply upset Ink

Banging opening music

I will not fall doooown... when push comes to shove I will rise above... jammin

Here we fuckin go the boys are off to save or avenge their dad

[ Kayla asks if one of the opening montages has used Carry On My Wayward Son. I said no, because I would definitely remember that. ]

Where are we

What the dog doin

Holy water and whiskey. Mood.

Oh this be Bobby

[ Kayla and Crepe cheer. They love Bobby. ]

SCREAMS. JOHN JUST HAS THAT AFFECT ON PEOPLE (referring to when he threatened to shoot John) oh I like him already

Satanic Roach Hotel

Ohh. Bad year. Most years 4 possessions, but this one had at least 27...... well thats rough

UH OH

MEG

DEAN

Fuck off Meg

"Chuckleheads" GREAT word use Meg

GOTTEM

Okaaaay interrogation time

"Where's our father, Meg"

"You didn’t ask very nice"

"Where's our father, bitch"

Goddammit whys he so funny

Oh shes posessed

I dunno about innocent

Oh good news bc it means they can yeet the demon, yea?

"Hit it Sam" (begins praying)

[ Winchesters latest hit single in Christian Rap sweeps midwestern protestant congregations as a big hit! ]

Dean buddyyyy

Uh getting spookyyyyy

This is wild. Interrogation via exorcism

What the fuck are u gonna do here like what do u do

Shes dead but not but whats up

UHHHH WELL THATS FUCKING. SOMETHING

Hello ma'am

That sucks ass. Being exorcised certainly doesn't seem fun, esp when you got dropped from a building

A year............ bro.......

Poor gal...

As I went down to the river....

Oh she gone.............

:(

:((

STOP ZOOMING IN ON HER DEAD FACE

"You guys think you invented lying to the cops?" lmao thanks bobby

"I won't even try to shoot him this time"

[ Crepe asks Kayla if Meg is the woman Bobby has buried in his garden or if that's someone else. Concerning. ]

SCREAMS hes making the car safe and Dean is like MY CAR

Dean just wants his family to stop being self sacrificing. Hypocrite

Sunrise Apartments!

Building full of human shields... thats a problem

Pull the fire alarm lol

Oh those people are SO posessed

Yep there he is, tied u— hm. I don't. Like that actually

"I've got a Yorkie upstairs, and he pees when he's nervous—" Dean for funniest liar

THEY STOLE THE FIREFIGHTERS FITS

Demon? Demön?

Holy water!!

Hes still breathing hes not dead yet

But he might be posessed

Oh just had to check

Uh oh someone else just got posessed

And another....

Aha... the colt

[ Kayla: Uhhh I'm here for the colt stuff - the Winchesters]

2 bullets left!

Alright. Now what

Fambily

Dean can and will kill for his family huh

Uh oh zappy lights

The demon's here!

Uh oh

Something is wrong

OH

OH SHIT

Sam going AAA

AUGH WHATS HAPPENING

I DONT KNOW

WHAT IS THISSSSS

Bullshit bullshit

Me: DEAN WAS RIGHT

Kayla: and why was he right :)

Me: Bc he would have been pissed :(

Kayla: and never proud :)

Kayla: (therapy voice) and how did that make you feel

Me: I hate it here

Kayla: elaborate on that

Me: I haaaate it here

Kayla: mhm mhm (writing stuff down)

"What are you and God going to do?" dammmn

Justice for WHAT

Oh so a demon cares about its family

Good for him but also you were already trying to kill them before??

Yeah? Why?

What's your angle here

Huhhhhh. What the fuck do you want with Sam

"I really can't stand all your monologuing"

Oooough hitting him where it hurts damn

OOOH DAMN DEAN THROWING SHADE BACK

How are u guys goimg to get out of this

Oh shit oh SHIT

AAAAAAAAA

OH THE LEG!! SMART!!!!!!

Oh fuck man

Bro it fucking leaving

Well this is an Awkward Family Ride

Kayla: awkward family ride abt to

TRUCK

What the fuck what the fuck

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

BRO WHAT

THATS IT FOR SEASON 1??

BULLSHIT

---

My so-called friends then proceeded to point, laugh, and heckle me for the next 10 minutes. This is bullshit I hope you know. Stupid goddamn cliffhangers stupid Winchesters and their STUPID FAMILY NONSENSE—

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 96

Abandon All Hope/The Sontaran Strategem

We’re doing a bit of a speed run tonight because it’s 9pm and I’m just starting now. And it is usually takes me over an hour to watch each of these

“Abandon All Hope”

Plot Description: it’s a hunters reunion when Sam and Dean face off against Lucifer with the help of Castiel, Bobby, Ellen, and Jo

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I guess so?? Wouldn’t ever be in this position

omg it’s Crowley time!!! Well he’s got great music taste

Ohhhh he’s been expecting youuuu

It’s pretty sexy of him to want to overthrow hell

Dean not being able to get out a good comeback to being called a functioning moron is extremely good and such a bad look for him lmao

…if Lucifer destroys humanity, he’s gonna destroy his own creations next?? That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense

I do love when he yells

Well NOW I just wanna see a drinking contest between Castiel and Legolas

Omg THANK YOU for not continuing to push Dean/Jo, especially not with Castiel right there

Interesting that he rode into town with the Harvelles and not Sam and Dean

No. No I don’t remember seeing any reapers at Pompeii…I JUST watched that go down

GODDDDDD. Yes, Cas goes through so many crises of faith but he his dedication to what he does believe is so admirable

It’s been a while but please don’t tell me Jo dies. Not here. Not like this.

Oooooo, they’re bringing Death into play. He’s a fun character. Very dry. Takes zero shit, but calmly. Because…what can anyone do to him? He’s DEATH

Lucifer is so cunty here

Oh…oh god, Joooooo. RIP, girl

I take it back. They did one last push before they had Jo sacrifice herself.

Wait. Fuck. No. Not Ellen, too!!! I know this show hates women but goddamn that was too cruel

Guess you can’t kill an angel with a gun made to kill demons

Can’t believe Lucifer has to spell out the parallels between him and Sam even after Gabriel did just yesterday

It could have been ANY demon Cas threw on the fire to escape. Why did it have to be Meg?

God. A Winchester has gotten every member of that family killed

“Been On My Mind…”: one final Dean/Jo push. Guess we’re back up to 10??

“The Sontaran Stratagem”

Plot Description: Martha Jones summons the Doctor back to modern Earth, but an old enemy lies in wait

This dude is really every insufferable tech bro manchild we have to put up with these days rolled into one

Turns out THIS was the first five minutes I had to look out for tonight

Yay Martha!!!! (Yes we knew she was coming back but STILL) and her IMMEDIATELY getting along with Donna 💖

I do love how concerned Donna gets over the fate of the Doctor’s companions (smart of her to, really)

Will never be over her demanding a salute, too

800,000,000 seems like a lowball figure for how many cars there are on earth (but then again I live in the US and not in one of the places with anything even resembling passably decent public transit)

Oof the misogyny of the Sontarans

Donna using her skills she learned doing temp work to crack open ANY part of the case

Getting to hear Martha and Donna talk about how much they have/did or haven’t/didn’t tell their families about traveling with the Doctor after just how involved the Doctor was with Rose’s family. It just gives you pause to think

I wish I could watch the scene where Donna tells him she’s not going with him, that she’s going home, again for the first time. I love knowing that she’s about to call him a great big outer space dunce, but they REALLY let you believe it the first time

Seeing Wilf makes me remember that we’ll see him for the very last time later this year 😭

If this were airing today, elon would be throwing a hissyfit over this kid or smugly not seeing that he is being viscously mocked. “It’s been a long time since anyone’s said no to you, isn’t it?”

“It’s a thing, isn’t it? People don’t question things. They say ‘euewh it’s a thing’”

No because why get into a car you KNOW can be controlled by the Sontarans? Well, at least they think he’s dead now

Hahahahahahahahaha Wilf telling the Doctor stories of Donna when she was little. Gotta love it

Well, it didn’t take long for him to blow the cover of being dead

Why’s evil Martha kinda…

[wordstrings]

I dunno about you, but this AU needs some ladies

Charlie Bradbury

She works for a popular website hosting company where both reference actors and artists/writers can post their portfolios. She's met Dean and Castiel multiple times, separate unrelated occasions, during local networking conventions that are hosted quarterly and has developed something that borders on friendship. For some reason my brain has it where, like, they all wanna be friends but also dunno how to take that final step to do so as of yet. So instead, they share favorite coworker/client vibes lmao

Meg Masters

She's a reference actor in the same guild with Benny and Dean. She fills more spicy and femme domme roles than just those within the tickling sphere, but has a soft spot for said sphere. Meg is a Ler and works out a lot outside of acting to be strong enough to manhandle anyone she's tasked to play with. Her "signature" move is pinning people face down (wall or floor doesn't matter), and creeping her nails while teasing them for the noises they make.

My heart desperately wants her to have interactions with Cas, for obvious self-indulgent reasons, but I feel Meg's worked more with Dean for other writers/projects. One time she toyed with his hips so delicately for so long to keep him teetering on the edge of losing it. She just very slowly increased intensity to push Dean's limits farther than he thought he could handle before that point and it intimidated him (in a professional way, of course, no other reason).

Ohh I can completely relate to the "wanna be friends but also dunno how" thing. Yes, Charlie is definitely the one degree of separation between Dean and Cas.

And Meg! Aaah! Speaking of whom...

@swift--fox submitted:

When Cas originally started working for his publisher, Crowley, he had the feeling that they were going to clash right off the bat. Like water and oil. But as a new writer, he had to take whatever he could. Crowley's first act when taking Cas under his wing though, wasn't the worst decision he'd made in Cas' mind. He decided to pair the writer up with one of his hired reference models. She wasn't too bad, even though she never got his name right. Always called him Clarence, which he never truly understood. Castiel was a mouthful sure, but Cas was just one syllable. But none the less, Meg was easy to work with, when she wasn't poking fun at him. They had good workplace chemistry, and even better workplace banter. And it always felt good to put her in her place on days she was feeling extra sassy. And even now, after Crowleys mandatory one year contract he had to sign with Meg, He still uses her when his works need a more feminine touch to them. It's not often anymore, but he keeps her number in his back pocket just in case. He still hates Crowley though

Yes. I fully buy both of these things about Meg. Perhaps Cas was fortunate enough with those early deals that he was able to start with two models pretty early on – the one was contractually Meg, and the second was whoever else was on rotation. One day, that second reference was Dean. It was clear to Cas that they were already familiar with each other, so there was none of the occasionally awkward undercurrent that sometimes came with letting things get a little more intense. Meg really shone that day – and so did Dean.

Once the contract was up, the next time Cas needed a one-off, he requested Dean. Not that Meg wasn't fantastic; but when Cas kept trying to picture his character, Dean was the image that filled in. And so it began.

[castiellesbian]

cas is actually straight and the one thing he wanted that he knew he couldn't have was meg because she is dead. that's why the empty kept taunting him by wearing her face - duh! so then the next best thing for cas apart from having meg was to tell his best friend dean that he thought he was cool.

...obviously I'm joking. i'm just trying once again to figure out how anyone could possibly interpret that scene platonically

Lol there are some people who interpret it that way. Mostly I’ve seen people take the “I love you” as a platonic/familial love, and the “one thing he wants he can’t have” as meaning like, to be with them as a family. Which is why he didn’t tell Dean about Jack killing the snake, because he didn’t want to break the growing sense of stability they were FINALLY getting. But like......... it’s a stretch that definitely wouldn’t be applied if Cas was a woman lmao

[airenyah]

what are the gayest destiel episodes you can think of?

ohhhhh i gotchu hold on (this is basically gonna end up being a list of my fave destiel episodes lmaooo)

ok so just a heads-up, i don’t really remember much from s10 onwards (a lot of those episodes i haven’t actually watched since they aired whoops) and i’m currently stuck at the beginning of s9 on my complete rewatch soooo this list focuses only on the first half of the show. i might do an update if i ever manage to finish my rewatch (and remember to post an update at all when the time comes)

ok here we go:

4x16 - On the Head of a Pin

dean calls cas “cas” to his face for the very first time

dean is all “you can't ask me to do this, cas. not this.” (about torturing alastair) and uriel is all “who said anything about asking”, but cas is all: “this is too much to ask, i know. but we have to ask it” and that is the moment that dean realizes that cas cares about him and his feelings/well-being and that’s when he demands to speak to cas alone 

and it’s only after cas tells dean he really doesn’t want dean being forced to do the torturing that Dean gives in (”i would give anything not to have you do this”)

like, it’s so obvious already how much cas cares about dean already and we’re only in s4

 cas is even starting to go down the path of disobedience (with a little help from anna admittedly, but still. he’s starting to consider it)

they’re so?? comfortable?? with each other. when cas visits dean at the hospital in the end

4x22 - Lucifer Rising

dean literally makes an angel fall in this ep, i mean come on... (the way cas shows up behind him all “you asked to see me” after dean smashes the angel statue cracks me up every single time gsdlka)

dean desperately trying to get cas to help him (bc he knows that IF there’s an angel that would help him it’s cas)

cas is too afraid though and dean gets pissed and literally breaks up with him (D: "you spineless, soulless son of a bitch. what do you care about dying? you're already dead. we're done." C: "dean-" D: "we're done!")

this is the episode in which cas makes his decision and chooses dean over heaven

5x03 - Free to Be You and Me

in the previous episode sam and dean had a fight and split up. this episode starts out with dean being pissed and annoyed and just in a bad mood in general

when cas shows up and asks for help dean is very grumpy and doesn’t want to help at first but then reluctantly agrees

throughout the episode, the more time dean spends with cas the better his mood gets (honestly this point is worthy of its own separate post, i have enough screenshots lmao)

like he’s even smiling at the end of the ep when he’s talking to cas in the car!! (except then he looks over and realizes cas has left mid-conversation again and that smile is wiped right off his face and i’m sad :( )

when they’re in that brothel dean mostly has eyes for cas, even when chastity the hooker is standing right next to him

after the brothel incident when dean is cracking up and goes “it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. it's been more than a long time. years.” like... buddy. your crush is showing.

and the way cas smiles lovingly at dean laughing next to him

dean be like: “personal space”     also dean: *reaches into cas’s coat without hesitation* *fixes cas’s shirt and tie without hesitation*

also the funniest thing about the whole “personal space” moment in the motel is that there was more than enough space for dean to step aside and increase the distance between him and cas if he had really been all that uncomfortable but he just. doesn’t. no he just stays right where he is 

when raphael is trapped in the holy oil and threatens cas all “castiel, I'm warning you. do not leave me here. i will find you.” and cas goes “maybe one day. but today, you're my little bitch.” and walks away and dean tells raphael “what he said” like the impressed and proud boyfriend that he is

inside jokes (see here)

some more iconic quotes/moments from this episode:

“cas, we’ve talked about this. personal space”

“so, what, i'm thelma and you're louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“well. last night on earth. what are your plans?” “i just thought i'd sit here quietly.”

“let me tell you something. there are two things i know for certain. one, bert and ernie are gay. two, you are not gonna die a virgin. not on my watch.”

5x14 - My Bloody Valentine

hunter husbands!!

the way that dean is not in the mood for hook-ups on valentine’s day and then goes to stare at cas like That

that iconic phone call at the hospital where cas just appears in front of dean who nearly runs into him

cas be looking at sam while listing all the things people can be starving for, and then looks at dean before saying “love” 

ok i know this doesn’t have that many points but really this entire ep is great, i very much enjoy all the interactions between cas and dean in this ep

like when dean is not hungry and cas is all “you're not gonna finish that?” and grabs the plate without waiting for an answer bc they’re this married in s5 already

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King

i mean... this one is obvious isn’t it

this ep is literally all about how cas is doing everything for the winchesters aka dean

the way sam and bobby cautiously voice their suspicions of cas to dean has the same energy as carefully breaking it to a family member that you think their partner is cheating on them 

and when they trap cas in the holy oil and confront him dean also acts like a betrayed wife(gn)

which is such a stark contrast to how sam and bobby react to the betrayal (they’re mostly just like “eh this sucks” while dean is emotionally affected)

and even in the following episodes dean is way more affected by cas’s betrayal than sam and bobby are and dean is the one who argues the most with cas (honestly, this entire arc is literally that post that’s all “how do i know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

ok but the holy oil scene is truly like a soap opera (i mean... “where were you when i needed to hear it?” “i was there. where were you?” and dean looking back at cas one last time before running away)

this is their first big break-up and it takes them until the s7 finale to make up

special shoutout to cas watching dean rake leaves

this ep is a LOT

7x17 - The Born-Again Identity

dean’s FACE when he sEES CAS. and then DEAN’S FACE AGAIN when “emmanuel” is all “what’s your issue?”

dean’s face all throughout that first scene with “emmanuel” and daphne, I’M

“you know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. you know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... i always could. what cas did... i just can't – i don't know why” BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, IDIOT

the way dean interrupts all irritated when meg goes “i think we're gonna be good friends too” at “emmanuel” (jealous bf much gsdlksafd)

the way dean kept the trenchcoat just in case so he can give it back to cas should he return (which ofc he did)!!!!

7x21 - Reading is Fundamental

yet another one of those “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”

at the beginning of the ep at some point sam’s phone rings and when he says that meg (who is watching over cas at the mental hospital) is calling, dean is quick to stand up and even tho meg called sam, dean is the one who ends up having the phone call with her lmao

also dean has no chill during that phone call lmao (he’s irritated when he finds out meg didn’t call them right then and there as soon as cas woke up and he’s immediately concerned when meg says cas is different, while sam’s just standing there holding his phone out to dean, being all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao)

dean: *pissed af at cas*    also dean: *almost breaks his own neck at the speed with which he whips his head around at the mention of cas’s name and is desperate to know his location when cas calls meg after dean blasted him away with some other angels at the hospital*

ok no but then meg tells cas their location and cas zaps into the car and it’s hilarious how quick dean is to interrupt whenever cas turns his attention to meg in that scene

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin

dean seeing cas everywhere

when you see your best dudebro outside the window in the middle of a storm but when you get up he’s gone and you feel like crap because you could’ve made it out of the war zone together and you just cannot fathom why he didn’t try harder and you just don’t understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling (and judging by dean’s reaction to sam’s suggestion, clearly it’s not survivor’s guilt)

dean’s FACE when cas suddenly appears behind him in the bathroom

jacting joices: the infamous boner scene (yet another example of “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

jacting joices pt 2: sam and dean are talking case and then cas walks over to join the conversation and there is literally no reason for dean to check cas out (see here)

during the rescue mission when cas zaps into the room and has a stand-off with crowley and then when dean finally manages to break into the room, can i just say... the way dean immediately rushes to cas (who’s ended up on the floor) and grabs him by the shoulder before he bothers to look around the room

D: “that was a bonehead move back there. you could have gotten yourself killed. why didn't you wait for me?” C: “well, i didn't get killed. and it worked” D: “and if it didn't?” C: “it would have been my problem.” D: “well, that's not the way i see it.”

the purgatory flashbacks when dean keeps insisting that cas is coming along with them back to earth and won’t hear otherwise

“i did everything I could to get you out – everything! i did not leave you.”  “so you think this was your fault?”

“look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? for failing you like i've failed every other godforsaken thing that i care about! i don't need it!”

i know we hate buckleming but this episode, man. this episode

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici

i was gonna put this as a special shoutout but then it turned out that i had more to say about this ep than i initially thought

it’s the way dean and cas keep gravitating towards each other in the first half of the episode. no seriously, they somehow keep ending up beside each other and you start wondering “what’s personal space” (friendly reminder that this is the ep right after they’re finally back together again after purgatory)

the married energy and the bickering

the “talk to me” scene where cas finally opens up to dean (but then interrupting moose strikes)

at the retirement home dean to sam and cas: “no flirting you two” then CUT to: dean and cas sitting at a table with an elderly lady who is staring at cas with heart eyes and... lady: “you are so pretty, charles” dean: *must look at young nurse’s butt immediately to distract myself from gay thoughts*

i’m sorry but the way he smiles so widely at cas at one point when they’re talking to that lady, like, she’s just called cas a bounder and dean’s amused about that but his amusement is not in any way malicious and his face is just so full of love when he looks at Cas, it’s embarrassing really (see here)

9x06 - Heaven Can't Wait

ok so i haven’t watched this ep in like 5 years so my memories on this aren’t as fresh as with the previous eps but! it’s the way that cas and dean act exactly like exes (who are still in love with each other) in this ep

dean’s face as he’s staring at cas through the shop window

dean’s smile when he shows up inside the shop

the entire “i can’t let you do this cas” scene in the car

the infamous fanfiction gap

special shout out to:

5x18 - Point of No Return for all the bickering (“you know what? blow me, cas”) and especially  “well, cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… i got laid.”

6x10 - Caged Heat for the pizza man and dean’s reaction to all the megstiel (like jealous bf much?)

6x19 - Mommy Dearest for the strong married energy dean and cas give off in this ep (honestly, all their bickering, it’s glorious) (friendly reminder that this is right before tmwwbk) 

7x23 - Survival of the Fittest for the “i’d rather have you cursed or not” scene

8x02 - What's Up, Tiger Mommy? for the purgatory flashbaks with that one monster calling cas dean’s angel and the reunion scene by the river with highlights such as “nice peach fuzz” and “i prayed to you cas, every night” and “i have a price on my head, and i've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you” and “cas, we're getting out of here. we're going home” and “cas, buddy, i need you” and “let me bottom-line it for you. i'm not leaving here without you. understand?”

8x17 - Goodybe Stranger for “i don't know, dean. if he's so sketchy, then why were you praying to him?” and the entire crypt scene (yes this is a big one and yes i’m still only putting it as a special shoutout and yes it’s bc of the megstiel content this ep ok bye <3)

[splendidcas]

Running From the Empty (Part 1)

Summary: based off of 15x18, the reader saves Castiel from the empty. 

Pairing: Castiel x reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: character death (temporarily lmao), grief, fluff, a cliffhanger bc I’m an asshole

A/N: this actually took a different turn than I originally intended; the finale inspired me to write this slightly differently, and I decided to break it up into 2 parts. I hope yall enjoy, I know this was a little rushed but I wanted to get it out for yall before I just kept procrastinating lmao.

feedback gives me life! (also I made this gif go me)

It’d only been a few hours since Castiel was dragged away from you, sucked into the Empty before you’d even gotten a chance to blink. A few hours since he had confessed his love for you without waiting for your response.

Your whole body ached with grief.

~~~

Billie pounded at the door, and the dread in the pit of your stomach grew with each knock. Castiel had just confessed to you that he had made a deal with the Empty, but he didn’t let you speak.

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, what my true happiness could even look like,” he said, his eyes locked on yours. “I never found an answer, because the one thing that I want...it’s something I know I can’t have.” 

You jumped at the sound of Billie still pounding on the door. What was he getting at? We didn’t have time, we had to get out fast-- “Cas, what--”

“Y/N, I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being, it’s in just saying it.” He smiled at you then, eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

“Castiel, what are you saying?” 

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Y/N, I need you to know that. Ever since we met, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, and Dean, and Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you.”

You didn’t even register the tears streaming freely down your cheeks, the knot in your stomach threatening to burst at the insinuation behind his words. “Cas--”

“I love you. I love you, Y/N.” 

And then everything happened so fast.

He shoved you aside, your back hitting the floor before you’d even had a chance to blink. Billie burst through the door only moments before you watched her and Castiel get sucked away from you into the empty...

And then he was gone. 

~~~

You shuddered over your bowl of ingredients, wiping the fresh wave of tears from your cheeks as you sniffled. You had to stay focused. Pouring over the ingredients list, you made sure you had each thing you needed. This had to work. It had to.

~~~

You gasped for air, hyperventilating as your cell phone rang incessantly. Sam and Dean had called you at least 11 times now, but you physically couldn’t move from your spot on the floor. Your fingers carded through your hair as you tried to calm your breathing enough to answer. 

“H-Hello?” you said hoarsely.

“Y/N!” Dean shouted through the phone. “We’ve been trying to reach you, what’s the deal?”

You shut your eyes and muffled a sob. “Cas--he’s, he’s gone.” 

“What?!” 

“He told me he made some deal with the Empty to save Jack, a-and he said it would come for him when he was happy or something--I don’t...He told me he loved me and Dean I didn’t get to say anything--”

“Hey, hey, slow down. You’re in shock. Just breathe, okay? Where is Billie?”

“Gone,” you whimpered. “When the Empty came for Cas, it took her with it. Dean, he sacrificed himself for me.”

You heard Dean sigh on the phone. “That sounds like him.” There was a deafening silence for a few moments before Dean spoke again. “Y/N...everyone’s gone.”

“What?”

“Chuck, he got rid of everything. You, me, Sam and Jack? We’re the only ones left on the planet.” 

A wave of nausea hit you immediately, and before you knew it you were emptying the contents of your stomach on the floor beside you. You couldn’t take all of this at once, it was too much, it was too--

“Y/N? Are you okay? You need to meet us now. We’re at the diner down the street.” 

Wiping your mouth with your sleeve as you sat up, you suddenly knew what you had to do. It was the only thing you knew would fix everything, the only thing you could think of or focus on. “Dean, I’ll meet you later. I’m going to save Cas.” And before he could respond, you hung up. 

~~~

You poured over research and ingredients in the bunker for over an hour after that call with Dean when an idea hit you, and that’s when you called Sam. You remembered years ago that the Winchesters had bound death, and you wondered...could you bind the Empty? 

~~~

“Sam, do you still know the ingredients?” 

“Yeah, but Y/N, those ingredients were to bind death. We didn’t even know the Empty existed at that point. It might not work.” 

You rubbed your temples with your free hand. “I don’t care, Sam. I need to try.”

Sam sighed through the phone. “Alright. Yeah. We wrote them down in case we ever needed it again, and they’re in the storage room. Second drawer to the right.” 

“Do we have all the ingredients in the bunker?”

“We should, yeah. But you’ll have to adjust the invocation.”

You nodded, hope starting to flit about in your chest. “Got it. Thank you, Sam.” 

“Of course, just...be careful. Call us if you need anything.” 

~~~

After gathering the ingredients together and checking the list at least 4 times, you were ready. All you needed now was blood. Taking your blade, you hissed as you sliced through your hand and let the blood drip down into the bowl. 

“Nos autem testimonium vacua. Tu meo ordines potestatis defixos. Nunc et in omnia saecula!” 

The entire bunker began to shake once you finished the vocation, and you braced yourself, ready for anything. You had no idea if it was actually the Empty you were summoning, and you had to admit--you were terrified. 

“You have GOT to be kidding me.” 

You jumped a mile at the voice that rang out from behind you, and when you turned around, there was...Meg?

"I just got to sleep, you know that? I’d been awake for so long because of ‘Winchester and Friends’, and I finally went back to sleep. I don’t think you’re going to like me when I’m awake.” 

“You’re the Empty,” you breathed out. It worked. 

She rolled her eyes. “You’re a quick one, aren’t you? Why am I here?” 

You inhaled, steadying yourself. “You’re here because you and I are going to make a deal.”

She grinned. “What a brave little ant you are. Why would I make a deal with you, the Winchesters’ second prized pet?” A look of understanding flashed across her face for a moment, and you grew uneasy. “Oh, I know! This is about your little lover, Castiel, isn’t it?” 

Your hands clenched into fists. “You’re going to let Castiel go.” 

The Empty laughed loudly. “Why on earth would I do that? Sweetheart, he and I had a deal. He’s mine now. Forever.”

“Because,” you began, smirking, “You’re bound to me. Sweetheart.”

The Empty frowned, eyes squinting suspiciously. “That’s not possible.”

“Oh? Then try to leave.” 

She shut her eyes, focusing, and stood still. Opening one eye, she peeked around, and saw she still in the bunker--stuck. “No!” she screamed, nostrils flared in anger, eyes set ablaze as she glared at you. Never in the history of the Empty’s existence had she ever been bound, especially not to a worthless human. She hadn’t even known it was possible until now, and she was furious. “How did you do this?”

“Does it matter? You’re my bitch now. And if you don’t do exactly what I say, I’m going to leave you here. Bound. And awake. Forever.” 

The Empty shrieked in fury, her hands clenched into fists. But she knew her efforts were futile. She belonged to you, now.

“Oh, and try to pull one over on me afterwards, and the Winchesters will bind you. We know the spell works, now. So don’t even think about it.” The Empty was so angry at this that she was damn near panting, but said nothing. And what could she say, anyway? She was stuck. 

You smiled, beaming with pride. “So here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to take me with you, I’m going to find Castiel, and I’m bringing him back here with me. No more deals, no going after him. Nothing. Got it?” 

The Empty grinned and shook her head ruefully. “All angels die, sweetheart. One way or another, he’ll always end up with me.” 

Your stomach sank, but your expression remained the same. “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. For right now, take me to him. Now.” 

Her grin faded. “Fine. Suit yourself.” 

She snapped her fingers, and then you were shrouded in darkness. 

You blinked continuously, your eyes trying to adjust to the sudden pitch black darkness. You held your arms out, trying to feel around for anything. “Castiel?” you called out, taking a few steps forward. “Cas?!” You turned around and didn’t see the Empty behind you, and your heart sped up wildly. What if you had just made a grave mistake? “Castiel! Castiel please, where are you? You have to wake up!” 

You heard a quiet grunt from behind you, and you spun around. Your eyes landed on the one thing not completely covered in darkness: a trenchcoat. 

“Castiel!” You sprinted towards him without a single thought, and once you reached him you collapsed onto the ground beside him, throwing your arms around his shoulders. “Oh god, Cas, it’s you, oh my god!” 

Castiel pulled away from you, brow furrowed as he shook his head. “Y/N? Wha--what is this? What’s happening?” 

“We’re in the Empty, Cas,” you explained, your smile threatening to split your face in two. You couldn’t believe you had found him, that your ludicrous, shot in the dark (literally) plan had worked. “I’m here to get you out.” 

His face softened, and he looked at you in wonder. “But how--”

“She bound me,” the Empty answered, suddenly appearing behind the two of you, and you didn’t miss the way Castiel’s face immediately hardened, his hand protectively going to your knee. 

“Don’t hurt her,” he warned.

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Oh sweet, sweet Castiel. Did you not hear me? I can’t hurt her.” 

Castiel looked to you for answers, bewilderment evident on his face.

“I remembered that Sam and Dean found a spell to bind Death when you were God,” you began. “I figured it was worth it to try it out on the Empty. I changed the invocation and...it worked.” 

He let out a breathless chuckle, in awe at the intelligent, resourceful human you were. You truly never ceased to amaze him. “You did all of this for me? Risked all of this for me, why?” he asked. There was a hesitant hope in his eyes, and your heart damn near exploded. 

“Of course I did.” You placed a gentle hand on his cheek, your body warming from head to toe as he leaned into your touch. “You really thought I was going to let you get dragged away forever after what you confessed to me?” 

Castiel turned bashful. He looked away from you then, opening his mouth to speak, but said nothing. He never thought he would have to endure your response, what he was certain was inevitable rejection. His final sacrifice had been perfect to him--he could confess what had been on his heart for over a decade, and he never had to worry about the rejection. Or so he thought.

“Cas, look at me,” you said gently, waiting for him to do so before you began. “I am so, so in love with you. I’ve loved you from the moment you walked into that barn. I loved you when you tried to be God, I loved you when you fell from Heaven and became a human, and I love you now. I will always love you. And I’m so sorry that I ever for a second made you think that you couldn’t have me. Because the truth is, you’ve always had me. Always.” 

Castiel laughed out a sob, tears streaming down his face at your words. He placed his forehead upon yours, his hands gripping yours tightly. He inhaled shakily. “I feel the very same.” 

You both laughed as you cried, disbelief and unadulterated joy radiating from both of you. Neither one of you could belief that the other felt this way, let alone the entire time you knew one another, and Castiel knew he’d never experienced a happiness so pure in his entire existence until now. For the very first time, he felt complete. He felt unconditional exultation. 

Before you had time to blink, he pressed his lips to yours, pouring out every emotion into his sweet kiss that he possibly could. Your fingers gripped the lapels of his trenchcoat as you memorized the way he tasted unexpectedly of honey and mint, and the way his chapped lips somehow felt softer than you could’ve imagined. 

“Seriously, I’m going to throw up.” 

The moment suddenly ruined, you jumped away from him at the sound of the Empty’s voice, and Castiel glared at the cosmic being for the intrusion.

“What? I may be bound to Y/N but I’m not just going to stand here and watch the two of you make out. I. Want. Sleep. So let’s go, chop chop.” 

You and Castiel slowly stood up, his hand giving yours a reassuring squeeze as he flashed you a smile.  

The Empty snapped, and you were all at the bunker once more. Your eyes burned from the sudden light, and you blinked furiously as you adjusted. 

“Okay, lovebirds, you’ve had your fun. Now unbind me,” the Empty commanded. You could tell she was growing impatient, the need for sleep overwhelming her. 

Walking over to the table with your list of ingredients, you quickly found the unbinding invocation and repeated it. The Empty breathed out a sigh of relief, and the moment she knew she was free, she walked right up to Castiel, a menacing grin on her face. 

Oh no.

“You’re lucky this time, Feathers. I made a deal with Y/N, I’ll respect it. You know how much I like deals, right?” Castiel frowned, glaring at her. “But it’s like I told your little lover, over here. One day? One day you’re going to die, and you’re going to end up right back with me. Don’t forget you’re an Angel. You can run from me...but you can’t hide.”

She took a step back and raised her arm, fingers ready to snap. 

“I’ll see you soon, Castiel.” 

And then she was gone.

--------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @darkmystress00 @fandom-has-ruined-my-life @willowing-love @thran-duils @kristaparadowski @dracsgirl @gospel666 @tardisheart134 @bitchasaurus @mishamoans @castieltrash1 @trixie537 @fangirlextraordinaire @deathtonormalcy56 @enaishungry @stumpostar @bluescluesandtattoos @dashingruins @simplyvictoria-93 @castiels-fanboy-blog @kakdhaoan919-blog @isabellaolier-blog @superwholockianlover221b @theimpalasdoctorin221b @miss-spnm0mma @small-town-wayward-daughter @grace-for-sale @my-mind-is-incognito @kyrathegreat985 @you-know-whodoesthat-crazypeople @itsfunnierinenochian @cutiepiemish @heavenlyrainyparis @einhornisch @lalakawe-blog @gemini75eeyore @kjerstival @book-loving--anime-chick @destiel-losechester @sarahope0214 @jeepangel @castiel-savvy18 @elenuch @hipstermoose @perseusandmedusa @greenappleeyes @anna-rose-banana @mariairwin666 @wordstothewisereaders @afanofmanystuffs @kmcmpmd @sortaathief @not-evennn @destiel-shippers-spn-blog @mogaruke @xxmizzlexx @carryonmywaywardcas @mistressofallthingsgeeky @waywardmoeyy @casismyspiritangel @tistai @staygoldsquatchling02 @w1nchester3001-blog @blue-eyed-angxl1 @vekinryn @aditimukul @bowleggedbeauty @kristendanwayne @thepoet1975 @shadowpriestess6 @silverbulletsandredsigils @mishapanicmeow @jenabean75 @heyitscam99 @queercas @fangirl-and-stuff @theariel85 @starletzombie @wontlookaway @goldenangelbloodcastiel @luciathewinchestergirl @kitten0924 @julesthequirky @maydayfigment @cluz1babe @mrswhozeewhatsis @kittykatt101 @aiofheavenandhell @fandom-princess-forevermore @sloth-with-a-taser​ @cluz1babe​

[laufire]

I can't decide whether to ask Supernatural or Wynonna Earp for the fandom asks, so you pick!

[Caption: "Both. Both. Both. Both is good." reaction gif from The Road to El Dorado.]

SPN

the first character i ever fell in love with: way back when, when I watched some episodes of season 3 with a friend, it was Ruby in 3x01-3x02. I was intrigued by her and then she was revealed to be a demon and I went 😍😍😍

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: tbh with this character isn't as easy as stopping loving/being interested in them lmao (especially since my head is in multiple seasons simultaneously, between rewatching to make gifsets, or writing fic set in older seasons, etc. So, I really hate late seasons Dean, but I think of other times and am just as interested as I was initially. I can’t stand Sam after he got Jack trapped in the box, but I write about s4 Sam and adore him. Etc. etc.). I'm gonna say Crowley, who just was never as good as he was in season 5 IMO.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: not really given my mixed feelings, but I will always say Destiel got worse with Carver's, then Dabb's era lmao. It peaked in s6 afaic tbh. Sastiel also gets worse in the last batch of episodes, sns (first putting Jack in the box, then the attitude towards Castiel in early season 15... smh).

my ultimate favorite character™: Castiel, tragically xD. Bela and Ruby are also on Stanning Levels, especially the more I write about them.

prettiest character: there were sooooooo many pretty women in this show... but you all know Rowena is at the top for me LOL. Before her it was Meg 2.0, who has one of the prettiest faces I've ever seen.

my most hated character: Dean, although again, It's Complicated xD

my OTP: Megstiel.

my NOTP: John/Mary. Fuck cupids.

favorite episode: The Man Who Would Be King is the first that comes to mind. 4x16 or 5x10 are strong contenders too.

saddest death: *lists every beloved female character evah*. Bela and Meg's are very very sad, while Ruby's mostly annoyed me because of the wasted potential, for example.

favorite season: I am obligated to say season 3 because it had Bela AND Ruby (plus the plot with Dean's slow death is really, really good). The misogyny jumped out even more than usual in it though ¬¬

least favorite season: season 14. I had to implement a reward system to myself to get me to finish it lmao.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: Dean is the one I get as far as hate (also love. Again, complicated). Although I must say there are a lot of fandom darlings I'm either indifferent to or even loathe. For indifferent, see Charlie or Benny. For loathing, see Victor Henriksen, who was misogynist AND tried to pressure Dean and Sam's lawyer to break privilege ¬¬. The fact that this fandom calls him cinnamon roll is proof that some people just want ~progressive fandom points without actually paying attention to the writing rme.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Dean xD. And I mean, I guess Castiel is a war criminal and Ruby had kinda inconvenient goals from humanity's point of view xDD

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Jack :))) and Kevin. Also Claire. All the Wayward girls lol. Alicia and Max. And so on lol.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Samruby I guess, but I feel no guilt. Dean/Alastair is also yikes, but I find it compelling sooo.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: idk if I'm capable of this, whenever I think about a ship I'm lowkey interested in for too long I get invested LOL. Lately I've thought often about Castiel/Mary because of how hilarious I found the concept from a crackfic point of view (imagine Sam & Dean's reactions LOL)... but now I'm like hmm. Could be nice though. I partially blame @angelfishofthelord ¬¬

WYNONNA EARP

the first character i ever fell in love with: it’s been a long time but it was likely Wynonna. I think it was on the pilot, when she was completely disarmed when Dolls talked about demons like it was nothing after all she’d gone through (up to institutionalization) whenever she talked about it. I Felt That.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: n/a. My likes were constant lol.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: n/a.

my ultimate favorite character™: Rosita is My Everything.

prettiest character: Rosita is pretty but MY GOD did the styling department did its best to hide that lmao. Waverly was gorgeous too. And Wynonna was hot.

my most hated character: I didn’t hate him, but tbh I never cared for Doc. I could tell he was getting more and more space and that was part of why I dropped the show: I just wasn’t interested in that.

my OTP: Rosita/Waverly.

my NOTP: n/a, really, but I also never cared for Doc/Wynonna.

favorite episode: the one with Rosewaves’ kiss or the alternate timeline one :DDD

saddest death: Willa’s :(((

favorite season: season 2.

least favorite season: I didn’t watch it but I’m gonna say s3 on principle xD

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: again: not hate, but I really don’t get the hype about Doc. He is, also, Just A Guy xD

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: frankly I wouldn’t call any of my faves trash here, even jokingly. They’re good or have very limited choices!

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: frankly, Willa deserved better. Waverly is obviously the cinnamon roll lol, but Willa’s storyline is so tragic and frankly, poorly handled.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: none, really, but I’m gonna drop a mention to Rosita/Wynonna, since they did a couple fucked up things to each other xD. Glad they ended in a good place with that hilarious s4 cameo, though :P

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: n/a.

[supernatural-reacts]

Season 15 episode 13

- THIS RECAP IS THE MOST QUEERBAITY THING SUPERNATURAL HAS EVER DONE WHO LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THAT OH MY GOD

- OH AU DEAN AND SAM HELLO

- I like alternate Sam’s little scarf

- anddd they’re gone ok

- poor Cas has no idea what’s happening lmao

BILLIE!!

- Jack is so 🥺

- oh yeah if God dies the sun dies right?

- wait no don’t kill Amara

- “who takes over? Jack?” “I just learned how to do that!” “...probably not.” AND THEN JACK DID FOR SOME REASON

- “plundered by pirates.” “No.” “It was dug up by tomb raiders.” “No.” I LOVE THEM

ANAEL!!!

- “I’m not going to make God my enemy, because... he’s God.” we love smart characters

- “an old friend of yours. Ruby.” WHAT??

- “you know what’s good about being dead?” “As I recall very little.” ahahjsks

- “Dean he... he feels things more acutely than any human I’ve ever known.” THE LAYERS

- no one tells Cas anything lmao

- “Ruby? The demon you were sexually intimate with?” “Sexually intimate?” AHAJAKKDKD

- “I need you to kill me. Almost.” I don’t like the sound of this also this is exactly what Dean would do

- “I’m far from happy so I should be fine” HHHHH

- ooo do we actually get to see Ruby?

- the audacity they have to go to hell and not have Rowena in the episode makes me so angry

- oh damn Jo’s kinda evil. I still love her though

- the audacity the empty has to take Meg’s face

- Ruby! Wow she looks different

- “girlfriend-” “I’m not your girlfriend.” hmmm 👀🌈 interesting

I LOVE THE RUBY ANAEL DYNAMIC

- wait can Billie do that for the empty? How would that even work?

- “you’re an idiot by the way.” WORRIED DEAN

- “am I still an idiot?” “Well yeah.” MARRIED

- alternate Sam and Dean just vibing between dimensions is so funny

- this is very very interesting

- I hate myself for the joke I’m about to make

is he... you know...

- “to dad.” “Best guy ever.” SAM AND DEAN’S FACES SAY A LOT OH MY GOD

- hunter Corp. Wow

- AHAHAJSK AU SAM GETTING SO INSULTED ABOUT THE HAIR

- I hate hellhounds

- “I have to draw the line somewhere and my hair is sacred.” AHAJSKKD

- I’m so disappointed that they actually used the busty Asian beauties joke in 2020. It’s horrific and offensive.

- “where’s the thing?” “I ate it.” “You what?” “Well it said it had to be in me so-” “no! Spit it out!” HES THREE

- I CANT BELIEVE THAT WORKED

- OH ITS EDEN THATS REALLY COOL

- the snake!

- oh does he have his soul back now?!

- “I’m so sorry.” POOR JACK ;-;

- SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING

[wendibird]

SPN 15X17 Observations

Well, watching this week went pretty smoothly (and I was actually able to get my little bluetooth keyboard thing to talk to my tablet so I was able to watch on my big TV screen and type up notes fairly easily. :) 

And just to clarify, sometimes my notes as I took them were VERY brief, and in some cases I’ve gone back and added in a few details or explanations to make clear what I meant by what at the time. 

I’ve also come to the conclusion that I don’t always remember to take notes, especially if Important Things are happening. (Do people even like the notes section? Or would you just prefer reading my odd takes on everything after the fact?) 

Anyway, here’s what I have for 15X17 “Unity”. Well, I do have more thoughts drifting around, but I’m always concerned that I’m going on too long as it is. *LOL*  (Under the cut for length and spoiler aversion)

Okay, going in I’ve heard rumors that this is a “Sam Heavy” episode, so we’ll see. *fingers crossed* 

- wow, is Chuck starting in on this world already?

- Silent treatment.

- I wonder if she’s guessed.

- fuck you Dean!

(but I’m not surprised. it just confirms what I’d already suspected about how Dean really feels about Jack.)

Commercial Thoughts:

Yeah, so, I’m firmly in Sam and Cas’ camp here. Jack may not be family to Dean, but he is to them. He’s their Son. 

I also think that though he hasn’t talked about it, Sam regrets his part in the Drama Coffin plan involving Jack last season. Think it’s one of those cases where he realized too late he was on the wrong side, and he doesn’t want to be there again.

As for Dean… I get that he wants to see the people he cares most about make it out of this. (Sam and Cas.) And I get he’s doing the tunnel vision thing. I think he knows that Sam’s right but he won’t let himself admit it.

- Wow….. The fanangels are kinda creepy.

- They’ve lost all their nuance with Chuck. Or my theory is right and Chuck has actually shifted darkside.

- Oh wow…. Amara is really going to bat here.

Commercial Thoughts:

Still not sure how much she’s (Amara) really guessed. She’s acting as though the whole “trapping him” idea is still a go, but what she’d said to Dean, as pointedly as she did, it seemed like maybe she suspected what was really going on and was still trying to give him the option to go a different way.

And even if this is Chuck having shifted dark, it could still be written with more nuance than this crappy villain schtick.

I mean, even in S11 when he’s all but given up on humanity and existence and was going to let Amara win, it was written with there being a depth to him about it.

- Don’t know if Dean’s trying to convince himself that he doesn’t care as deeply to make this easier or what.

- HOw is ADAM still alive?! And she’s an angel?

- Interesting behavior for an angel. *LOL*

- “Then he moved on to our sons.” Hints of Cain and Abel?

- Okay, so the angel kept him alive. (Sure, I can buy that.) 

- Pretty Crystals!

- He’s (Dean) heard those lines before. And Dean’s feeling uneasy about it.

- Amethyst! (Sorry, always had a thing for Amethyst and it’s my birthstone)

- (oh, okay, all of them)

- Ewww….. Open heart surgery

- Rib!

- Dean doesn’t like being rail-roaded.

- Talk time.

- I don’t like this…… (Jack using the rib and starting the suicide-bomb process.) 

Commercial Thoughts:

Okay, so, what Dean said, I’m glad he said it. And I have been getting hints of that feeling from him the whole season, about feeling disconnected because of what they found out about Chuck and their lives. I just… I still think he’s willfully blinding himself to what’s really going on. That even this version of “Free Will” is a script that he’s following. (Well, I think he’s starting to have misgivings about that.)

- Uh-oh! Ideas! 

- I love two researching nerds!

- Were we supposed to understand the Latin? *LOL* I caught “Mortem” in there a few times.

- Yey door!

- “your internal compass is functioning perfectly”

- I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!

- Who dat?

- Dead someone or other

- W section.

- Reapers maybe?

- Who’s thinning the ranks?

- Empty!Meg!

- Sam is good! (At bluffing the hell out of an ancient cosmic being.) 

- IT’S A LITTLE LATE TO STOP IT!!!!

Commercial Thoughts:

*FREAKING OUT!!!*

Jack already started it! OG!Adam said that once started the reaction couldn’t be stopped.

Okay, deeper thoughts. Everyone’s playing chess. Still. The game is just bigger.

OG!Adam wants God dead because of stuff that happened. And Billy is following his plan? (Did I get that right?) The plan will make Billy the next God. (Not surprised there honestly.) Her world will be a lot more “orderly” no doubt.

The Empty just wants to sleep. (Honestly, can relate.) 

But everyone’s just using them all as gamepieces again. Dean’s getting that feel from things OG!Adam and Whatserfaceangel said. Sam knows now too. They’re still stuck in someone else’s story. They’re still not gaining true “Free Will”. I’m hoping that the route they take will actually get them off this train track.

- DUDE - WHAT (was in reference to Dean pulling a gun on Sam)

- Go Sam! He’s not letting this one go. (Referring to my feelings on Sam feeling bad about Jack and the Drama Coffin thing from way before, and him NOT settling for Dean’s plan this time, him sticking to his guns and saying what he feels and taking action.) 

- Chuck played her (Amara) too.

- Not again! (Oh Jack, will this forever be your fate?)

- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Holy shit! That episode!

Okay, it actually did a good job of wrapping up a lot of ideas. Like, big-picture ideas that have been themes throughout the run of the show. 

Also, apparently this was the only world where Cas and the Winchesters broke the mold? Didn’t play by their roles?

Also, minor point but it made me happy: Chuck pointed out how it’s Sam who needed to find things out. Sam who kept digging. I made mention of it last episode how Billy kept going to Dean, because he was easier for her to manipulate. But Sam asks more questions. I think part of it is what Cas said about his internal compass. I think another part is his experiences. He’s been the brunt of the cosmic plot-lines a LOT of the time. So he does keep asking questions because of all the times he hadn’t and things went badly. (Like end of S4 with killing Lilith.) 

And let me be clear, it’s not that I think Dean is dumb. He isn’t. And he and Sam both make decisions a lot based on their feelings. (Sometimes it’s all you have to go on.) But he’s shown a tendency in the past several years especially to be more likely to make them based on anger. And he doesn’t get called on it often. And I don’t know if this is TOO meta (is that even a thing with this show anymore? *LMAO*) but I feel like part of that is written into the script. Of their world. Even when Dean’s wrong he’s often proven “right” by the narrative. He very rarely is made to face up to his mistakes. (Not saying he never is. But it definitely doesn’t seem to happen as often.) And I’m wondering, is that because up till now, he was Chuck’s favorite? We saw that Chuck can manipulate a LOT of things. And events, and even some people. 

How often have we noticed and commented on how the Narrative backs Dean up so much of the time, even when he might be in the wrong? Or even just questionable? Or morally grey? How much of that is possibly now supposed to be due to Chuck’s meddling? Because I’ve also seen it mentioned (and have also noticed) that although Sam winds up the “wrong one” a lot via the narrative, he’s actually HAD to learn and grow because of that. But because Dean is rarely shown as wrong, he hasn’t had to, and his character has stagnated a lot in the last several seasons. Of course, in reality, that’s due to the writing/show-running/powers-that-be making those decisions, but in-show could it possibly be something to do with Chuck? Maybe at first because he liked Dean more? But as time grew on, and he kept trying to set up his Cain and Abel plot with them, maybe it was to reinforce Dean’s self-image that he’s Right? 

And also by contrast, we had the end of last season where so many of Sam’s decisions which had been made with best intentions and best information/resources at the time wound up blowing-up in his face. As if to say "Ha-HAH! That's what you get for thinking you could lead people! That's what you get for thinking you could save Jack! That's what you get for thinking someone like Nick could be redeemed! That's what you get for talking your brother out of the Drama-Coffin plan!" It felt like it was specifically intended to make him severely doubt his own judgement. And it worked. After all that shit went down, one thing after another, culminating with their mother's death, he didn't trust himself. He didn't believe in himself. So he put all his trust in Dean. And Dean was full of RAGE. (I don't blame him. His Mom has been a keystone of his life, even when she wasn't there.) But Sam didn't give the objections he normally would have to Dean's plan to box-up Jack. Even though it was CLEAR how much he didn't like it. How wrong it felt to him.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I think Chuck has been nudging and manipulating a LOT of things in order to get the Winchesters to behave how he wants them to. 

IDK. My head is hurting from some of these meta thoughts. *LOL*

SO! Back to what happened in the actual episode.

I thought the format was interesting, focusing in on the different POV characters for their spans of the story until it all came together. (Wondering if this is going to continue into the next episode…) 

I liked that we got a lot of reveals about what is (possibly) really going on, in regards to the grand schemas. Because there are several at play here. But now we're at least getting glimpses of them. 

Even though we didn't see Billy, I thought the reveal about her plans were interesting, but definitely fit with her character as established so far. I know a lot of people are saying she's gotten drunk with her power or she's "turning evil" but I don't think that's the case. It's true that she hasn't told them everything about her plans, but that's because she's also using them as pieces in her game. But her goal is the same as it's always been since we first met her. She has ALWAYS been about the Natural Order. She never liked how the Winchesters (or anyone else) flaunted death again and again. So once she's in charge? Everyone and everything goes where they belong. The demons stay in hell, the angels stay in heaven, souls go where they're meant to, people from other universes go back (even if there's no universe to go back TO. Tough shit, they'd be dead anyway according to her) and those who have already died and been resurrected? They go back to wherever they should be. (At least, I THINK that was the implication made, with Sam asking Dean if he'd be willing to trade HIM to take-out Chuck. Sam was definitely realizing a LOT when Empty!Meg told him what Billy's plan was.) 

This isn't her turning Evil like has been done with Chuck. It's more, her becoming a more extreme version of what she already was. When she got her promotion, she found out a LOT more things. Including this option of events for taking Chuck out and putting things back to how they belong. And it even started with Dean's aborted Drama Coffin plan. Which eventually fails, because Sam, but it then leads to Jack sacrificing his soul to take out AU Michael, which eventually leads to Mary's Death and Chuck's opportunity to manipulate things more and so on and so forth until we wind up here. 

(Also, just wanna say, absolutely LOVED Rachel as the Empty again!) 

And also, having just watched that scene again, can I just say again how awesome Sam is? He straight-up told the Empty that even if he WAS lying, their best bet is to let him go with the book. And it couldn't really argue with that because he was right! (Well, if it had killed him then and there, Dean probably wouldn't have known right away and probably would have been able to carry out the plan. So there is that. Buuuuut none of them knew that either at the time.) 

And in general, I love how Sam just would NOT give up. This is the Sam Winchester I've come to love. He could feel in his bones that this plan was wrong so he was doing everything he could to not only stop it, but to find some other way to get what they truly wanted. 

I also loved his and Cas' interactions. They were supportive of each other and both were trying to find a way to save their son. (Dean has officially forfeited his Dad-Card in my book. Hell, in his book too.) Also, I remember hearing someone from production, or who was maybe on set or something mentioning something about the Holy Grail in this episode? Well, in that scene where Sam and Cas are looking through those old crates and trunks and boxes, when Cas finds the key Sam is holding this really old looking chalice. Wonder if that's supposed to be what that is. *LOL* I mean, the Spear of Destiny (or at least, the head of the spear) was there in the Bunker, so why not I guess? *LOL*

We didn't get a lot of Sam and Jack interaction, but I liked what little we had. Sam made it clear to Jack that he wants to save him. (I'm really hoping we get SOMETHING more of them in the next episode or two but... yeah. Not a lot of time left.) 

I could go on for some length about my feelings on Dean and how he's been this season. But I don't want this to turn into a fully anti-Dean rant. I will say though that I'd definitely gotten the impression before this that Dean has different categories of people he cares about, and in his mind, he also has them ranked according to how expendable they are. And I'm not just talking about Jack here, though he is a major part of it. But at the end of the episode when he and Sam are having it out, Dean says he's basically willing to sacrifice EVERYONE to get what he wants. 

(I don't think he's actually willing to sacrifice Sam for it though. And yes, I know, he was waving a gun in Sam's face. But I don't believe for a moment he had any intention of killing his brother. Not when Sam asking point blanc if Dean is willing to trade him for killing Chuck, and that seems to be what causes Dean to start listening to what Sam's saying. Also, in the past, Dean hasn't been above threatening people to get what he wants. Like with Kaia. Also in S8's "Trail and Error" when he and Sam were talking about taking out the hellhound, Dean pretty much said if Sam even tries to get close to it, Dean would shoot him in the leg. Now, we never got to see if he actually would have or not, but regardless, it was a case of Dean being willing to hurt Sam a little in order to protect him from something he saw as a bigger threat. In that case it had been taking on the trials. In this case, it would have been to win their shot at freedom. At least in Dean's mind. Not saying I approve! Just, I think that's where his mindset was.) 

And this is a far cry from the Dean who, just a few years ago was willing to be a kamikaze bomb in order to save the world. And yes, Dean has mentioned "Saving the world" this season too. And I'm sure he means that too. But when he was at his most emotional, what he was talking about wasn't saving the world and everyone in it. It was freeing him and Sam from being Chuck's entertainment. And he's willing to sacrifice nearly anyone to accomplish that. At least, he was up til now. I hope that they're going to give him a change of heart before the end because I really REALLY would like the show to end with me not despising Dean and what he's become. Yes, I'm a Sam-girl, but I do care about Dean too. 

Also, I feel bad for Amara and what wound up happening with her. Like many other characters, she fell victim to Chuck's manipulations, and now I'm guessing he's even stronger than before. But also, Chuck wasn't the only one manipulating her. And maybe if they, (Dean especially, since she had a soft-spot for him) had actually been trying to find another way earlier, she wouldn't have fallen to despair when finding out the truth. 

Aaaaaanyway, I think I've rambled enough about this episode as it is. Thank you to whoever actually bothers to read all of this. *LOL*

[inkedmyths]

S1: E11 "Scarecrow"

I said I would watch some today so here we goooo

One Year Ago? Hm

Ooooh Apple Pie... I want apple pie now

[ Crepe says she thinks I will like this ep. I like apples so this seems like a good sign. ]

Oh is it a cult town? I think its a cult town

Ohhhh spooooky orchard

God I want apples

Thats a spookyass scarecrow

IT MOVED

ITS GONNA COME FOR U

Oh where's he go? Him gone?

OH FUCK HIS FACE

Wasn't there a scary stories chapter like this? A scarecrow that skinned someone?

[ Yes! From Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark: More Tales to Chill Your Bones. This monster isn't Harold, but there are big similarities. ]

HEY ITS THE BASTARD DAD

Ok its a demon? A demon that killed the mom and the gf? Whats its fuckin problem?

Daddy Issues Galore

Generally speaking taking "orders" from a parent is a bad sign for your relationships

NO DEAN THATS NOT HOW PARENTAL RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD WORK

These two are so. So stupid. So bad at emotions in different directions

Worried about their family members and SHIT at expressing it

CLASSIC ROCK FAN fucking moron

Ohhhh this town is definitely a cult or something

Ohhh its a chick. Oh they're going to be the "couple" that get attacked huh

GIRL THATS SO SHADY WHAT. DONT DO THAT

Oh maybe not. Maybe its normal

Ohh weird screaming? Is it the emf? Yep

Haunted orchard haaaaaunted orchard

Ew scarecrow

"Dude you fugly" so true Dean

YOU'RE GONNA POKE IT??

OH FUCK THE SKIN? I WAS RIGHT

Strangercore

OHHHH I get it I seeee like. A yearly sacrifice that keeps the crops bountiful

Lmao girl I knew it

GOD ALL THESE APPLES I WANT APPLE PIE 😭

Dean stop talking to people you're bad at it

Ohhhh they are so definitely being sacrificed

HHHRGH

Dean gets arrested pt..... whatever. Moron

Ok so theres Sacrificial Couple and then Sam is having bonding time with this chick over Families Sucking

There's the scarecrow! A hunting we will go!

I WAS RIIIIGHT THEY WERE SACRIFICES

But I am going to go out on a limb and guess Sam and this chick are gonna be hunted by this ~pagan god~

[ Crepe asks if this is "best girl Meg". Apparently yes! I don't know what this means aside from she will be returning later. ]

I like this professor dude hes excited to share knowledge

OOP

I KNEW IT. CULT TOWN. OUT TO KILL THEM

OHHH they are going to sacrifice Dean right. OH AND THE NIECE NO

[ Crepe points out that aside from the human sacrifice it could have just been like. A normal festival. Like they could have just been normal about it but nooooo. Can't have that. Have to kill people. ]

Meanwhile Sam is like DEANS NOT ANSWERING NOW IM STRESSED

Sam looking like a kicked puppy bc he is worried about his brother

Poor girl she knew nothing :(

Fucking weirdass cult town

GUYS YES THERE IS YOU GUYS COULD JUST GROW APPLES FUCKING NORMALLY

Dean you're so lucky your brother is paranoid

LMAO "I take back everything I said I'm so happy to see you" god they're so funny

LOCALS. LOCAL NUTJOBS

Oops got u instead bc ur stupid

Ah yes old tree old runes on it

Huh I thought the fighting the scarecrow would be more of a fight

And she's the one getting on the bus now. Hope she gets some therapy and a nice life after that.

Sam is like "I was gone for a day and you almost died. I can't leave you be for 5 minutes"

Ohhh hey its this chick again

WHUH

OH MY GOD SHE JUST? BLOOD?

Serial killer Sam bestie you dodged a bullet I think

UHHH WHATS SHE WANT WITH THEM

"FATHER" WHO ARE YOU

What the fuck

---

Alright so I did like that ep. I think taking normal white rural neighborhoods and making them fucked up is fun. Fascinated by this poor Emily girl, just. Like I hope she moves on? Makes a good life for herself? Like losing your parents, living with your aunt and uncle, loving them and the town, then one day without warning they drag you off to a cellar to sacrifice you to the town god, watch them get murdered by said god... and then you pack up and leave for somewhere else, anywhere else, because what else can you do? Man.

Uhh jury’s still out on favorites. This was a good ep for development and a good Sam ep. Actually how did Dean ever survive w/o Sam around to bail him out lmao.

But just. The way Dean goes on about the greater good, but ultimately its more about what their dad wants them to do. Sam’s often more swayed by his bond with his family, as estranged as he feels from them. But this flip flops, back and forth, Saving people, saving family. Its interesting.

And the plot thickens. Dad Winchester’s on the trail of what killed their mom and Sam’s fridged gf, this Meg chick is? After the bros? And was clearly lying to try and get close to Sam for reasons unclear. Hm.

Anyways I get apple pie now so definitely a win

[incarnateirony]

15.13+

This year-old tweet of Merecuda’s becomes truer by the day. 

So I’ve said I’d collect old posts I’ve made over the past few years involving perennial philosophy as they apply to our current episode, rather than beating the same horses to death I’ve been banging on for years. That way if people missed/forgot these they can find them without me writing entire-assed new essays but rather find how they’re binding into the current episode -- as well as later-down link collections of thoughtbursts I had about the episode itself.

14.10: The numerology of Billie’s Book -- reality, matrixes and more; god’s understanding of the universe through the universe and the purchase of the extant universe.

Pre-ep-300: Aesclepius -- the dreamer, the healer, the serpent, the climb to divinity

Pre-14.14: Ouroboros, Jung, the Shadow; Nehushtan, the brazen serpent climbing the tree and more. Keep in mind the crucified serpent stuff in here because we’ll swing back to it.

Pre-14.18: Hermetic Absence; the human soul is the one true good. What we call evil is the absence of it. Later the episode itself swung around and quoted it so YOLO.

14.20: 

Optimism vs Nihilism; Hermeticism vs Gnosticism; the demiurge, the Truth and the Shadow. Also, see more on the Truth at this second link (x)

A cosmic game of chicken Jack being both later script-confirmed over here. (x)

Jack as the Orphic Egg, Phanes, the golden child, son of the serpent in the garden, the Big Bounce Impending.

The Empty, the Shadow, Reflection, the Lack of Soul, “Now I’m just Empty.”

S14-15 hiatus:

Old cosmogenic theories that may or may not still work.

The Shadow, Animus, Anima, God; the dance with the serpent and the cosmic marriage post-divorce -- big yike I said it was too Destiel yet here we are. Use this accessory post (x) to see the ranking of shadow/animus/anima in the video a little more clearly.

Inner worlds, we all have them, so to whom does Eden belong? After all, compare Michael’s world for Dean to Chuck’s for the rest. And I ask you to think outside the box for this (x)

A longwinded conversation about the nature of souls (x)

The Three Principles 

...just... this to think on with the rest (x)

15.11: The return of the Son and the Sun portends the revelation that the ego itself reflects light given from the sun and the soul, including the collective soul of the above and beyond, as well as a whole bunch of other stuff (phases of paths, the goddess, and more)

Once you get this far meditate on this for a bit from 15.12, given I stole the preview of the snake for it, and remastered one of my S14 spec vids for it (x)

AND FINALLY WE HAVE REACHED 15.13

Neshamah in the garden: the manifestation of the divine feminine opposed to eve as the essence of the soul or spirit in pre-fall Eden, and her connection with the unconscious serpent.

About the cross showing the way and it’s enduring relation to all above themes -- hell, that shape of cross even has meanings (x) as well as this, to the same theme,

but focusing on the sacred marriage elements more than the elements of the soul Reflected in the first link (x) Given the divine marriage itself is a whole other topic I’ve spammed to death including my old Eucharist video from 15.09 (x)

but with a long video track backwards that really requires just navigating the playlist once the above is soaked.

Also my next S14 video to remaster like I did Grudge based on the few above links (x)

and this old chart y’all are probably sick to death of that the goddamn yellowing snake fucking asked

These collective thoughts bundled, if once you’ve read them you still have questions, feel free to send asks.

Also yet again, Cas is the only one the Empty puts on faces for. His death and inky shadow didn’t work to keep him down (Shadow, primal state). His own didn’t work to put him down (Animus, Albedo, masculine ego). Meg’s didn’t work to put him down (Anima, Citrinitas, feminine superego; a fun choice when demon-searching rather than using Dumah again despite her resonance with Sam’s anima in TMWKTM and EXCELLENT opportunity to let Rachel cameo; but Cas has been at minimum in the yellow since last year and we’re not rich in opportunities to get Rachel back so it definitely worked while Cas was stumbling around in oblivion to revisit it while the rest of the guys grow into Citrinitas). 

Or you know, the literal shadow or blockage of these things as they stand with the above material (not really too unlike Belphegor as the ruler of Thagirion contrary to Tiphareth, which that GOD DAMN CROSS from 13 literally represents.) I AM EXCITE for 15.18 to see who’s face it takes next (in Rubedo, the Self and speaker of truths). And recent on set scene/event leaks minded, I think we have a pretty good idea. So I am even MORE excite. 

I really just saw Nehushtan and Neshamah talk to Phanes in the inner garden before the fall of man asking “Who are you?” in the yellowing phase of this show with the reddening impending in 15+ and I need to be let out of this box.

When I spent more than 2 decades of my life studying perennial philosophy I wanted the secrets of the universe, not the secrets of a cult fiction TV show, and frankly, I need a refund, please pull this snake out of my ear.

BuckLeming were kinda handed the inability to fuck up with as advanced as the hermetic lore has become over the last few years, but I’ve gotta say, they handled unusually well. I’m also quite fond of the Emperor-Empress-Aeonchild imagery being incorporated with the Golden Dawn/Rosicrucian/Christianized elements rather than the more alchemical abstract deliveries that whiff over people, because maybe JESUS MARY JOSEPH will ring a few bells better than colored and only loosely gendered abstracts of development, especially since they haven’t been overtly labeling things Emperor or Empress as much as depicting them with all other associated quotes and symbolism to date. Though I don’t consider 15.02/03 subtle in its delivery of the goddess role in any respect.

This is the second time the Emperor has passed his sphere to the empress. Only this time, rather than the hermit brother choosing not to initiate it for the cost, it was passed from the Empress to the child and brought us to the inner garden to find the truth of the aeon and really, I’m not okay right now, send help

(And summore x) and even (summore about the inner garden, the soul, the proto adam and divine feminine, the symbol above and a whole bunch of hoohah x) -- Yes I just linked you an entire google book. Either you wanna know or you don’t, s’your choice.

Side semi-joke commentary with Castiel’s placement in this structure: is nobody else going to point out that Cas already brought home fruit from the Tree of Life from Syria rather than this non-eden and inner garden? I don’t think they’re quite the same place, but there’s some extra lmao there. dEAnNNn i bRoughT FrUIt fRom tHE tReE oF lIFE

Edit: while i do truly believe this boils down to an excuse to see Rachel on our screens again, I can't help but have it hit harder and harder that Castiel's divine feminine superego was appealed to in supposed reminder of him having no one in life to go back to and instead an old fling he made a connection with in death.

With the overall framing of another relationship as the cause of his suffering, whether intent or by accident it couldn't have been more on point. Just sleep, Cas, happy or not. Isn't what you want here? But he didn't bite. Not one bit. He could have slowed to ask about her or split his focus to find her too, but instead he called out to Ruby still and moved on, still on point for his family back home. I have some posts about The Celestial Ruby elsewhere that I want to probe later about the Occultum but this will do for now.

[criticlog]

SPN S1E11

Note to self: if everyone in an spn town is overly friendly, get the fuck out of dodge, it’s a trap

I love the scarecrow, he’s just so eery even in broad daylight

God it breaks my heart to see Dean just act a soldier like that as soon as he picks up the phone

Having blind faith is called being a good son?? Honey, no... I’m with Sammy on this one, no one should ever blinding follow orders without being given any answers or explanations

Did Sam really not see that girl sitting by the side of the road until he was 6 feet away from her? ALSO: Hi Meg! I forgot your first face it’s been so long!

Dean no need to be rude

Lmao Dean, you’re just freaking this couple out

DHDLFHLSF THAT GENERIC JUMPSCARE NOISE THOUGH!!!

Aww the boys are communicating! 

I don’t like how the show is making it seem like you can either live your own life or be there for your family and there is no way to find a middle ground with healthy boundaries (but that’s spn in a nutshell isn’t it)

Alrighty, well looks like mister scarecrow got his meal for the year so guess everyone can go home for one more year

Wait is she talking to Lucifer here? I forget but isn’t he trapped in the cage? He can take phone calls from in there?

[cammi-writes]

Title: Chuck’s Wrath

Part: part 1 | part 2 |

a/n | warnings: mentions of death, throwback to before the apocalypse, blood addicted Sam aka Dick Sam, emotionally abusive relationship, descriptions of torture | I haven’t written any Supernatural fics in sooooo long lmao but my 13yo sister and 10yo brother just got into the show (they just watched John sacrifice himself for Dean) and I saw fetus Sammy and got inspired!!! Some things you should know are the reader is Bobby’s only daughter and she’s known the boys her whole life. When John gets captured by Azazel and the boys exorcise Meg at Bobby’s house, she goes with them and continues to hunt with them after all the Azazel stuff.

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairings: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader

Tags: message me if you want to be tagged

Sam and Dean were frozen in the theatre, courtesy of Chuck who sat to their left, popping a piece of popcorn in his mouth with a shit-eating grin.

“I never wanted a movie adaption of the Supernatural books. I felt like they would suck the raw emotion out of it.” Chuck explained. “I mean you saw Supernatural the musical.” He made a face of distaste. “But they were just kids so I had to pretend like it was good.”

“What the hell is this?” Dean grunted out.

“Just watch.” Chuck focused his attention to the screen as the reel started to play. “You remember this, right Dean?”

You stood outside the motel room door, a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes as you heard her moans. When you heard Sam’s deep groan, you instantly turned away. He was screwing the black-eyed whore in your motel room...

“Y/n?” Dean’s gruff voice spoke and you quickly blinked away the tears.

“Hey Dean” You forced your usual happy smile but this time it was filled with pain. “I just forgot my motel key and I don’t think Sam is in there-” You were cut off by a loud porn star like moan.

“Ruby’s in there, isn’t she?” Dean’s voice was a mix of anger and sympathy.

“Yeah.” Your voice broke. Sam and you had been together for around a year. Your first kiss had been while Dean was in his coma... Your first time was the night his father sold his soul to save Dean... You had finally made it official when he returned from the dead after Dean made the demon deal.

“Come on...” Dean grabbed your hand a led you away from the motel.

“Where are we going?” You sniffled.

“Somewhere... quiet” Dean gave you a soft smile. Something you hadn’t seen from him before. Something you never would have expected since the way he’s been acting since he got back from Hell.

Sam gave Dean a confused but broken look. Sam thought about you everyday since you disappeared from his life but he could never find you because the end of the world always seemed to loom in the distance.

“Turn it off.” Dean begged Chuck. The desperate tone that he only used when his family was in danger leaked into his voice. He didn’t want Sam to see what was about to happen...

There was a park on the other side of the woods that laced the edge of the motel you guys were staying at. That’s where Dean had lead you to.

“I’ve been in love with him since we were kids. I thought... I thought for the first time in my life I had gotten what I wanted.” You whispered as Dean and you walked down the dirt path.

“I know...” Dean whispered.

“I should have expected this though. My life has never been this easy.” You let your tears fall.

Both of you were quiet for a while before you decided to ask a question that had burning at the back of your mind.

“What happened?” Dean looked up at you when you asked. “Down there, I mean...”

Dean stared at you for a while, lost in thought. A pained look on his face as he remembered the things that he had done. But the way you shivered when the wind blew snapped him out of it and he shrugged his jacket off for you.

“A lot of things I’m not proud of.” Dean draped the jacket over your shoulders.

“We all do things we’re not proud of.” You tried to comfort him while sinking into his jacket to escape the cold, the smell of pine and old leather embracing you. A smell that reminded you of him.

“You’re not proud of accidentally killing a person while exorcising a demon.” Dean glared at the ground. “I-I tortured people, Y/n. I hurt them. I wasn’t strong enough so I sank to there level.”

“Dean.” You grabbed his bicep, ignoring the shock in your veins. “We all do things to survive. The only thing important is that you survived. You made it back to us.”

“I liked it.” Dean’s teary eyes met yours. “I liked hurting people down there. What does that make me? A survivor? Or a monster?”

Dean looked away, scared of seeing the look of disgust on your face from his confession but when your soft hand cupped his cheek to make him look at you, all he saw was a soft, caring look in your eyes.

He didn’t know why he said it. Maybe it was the fact that you were alone and Sam was screwing a demon in the bed you both had shared. Or maybe it was the way you were looking at him as if he hadn’t just admitted to being a sadist in hell.

“I wish you had fell for me instead.”

“What?” You furrowed your brows curiously.

“I mean... I just don’t like seeing you upset. If it was us... I wouldn’t be hooking up with a demon. I’d be here, with you.” Dean gave you another gentle smile, something confusing you even more.

“You are here with me, Dean.” You shyly turned away. Confused by the pounding of your heart. Maybe it was because Dean was here for you while Sam was sleeping with Ruby. Or maybe it was because you were actually feeling something for him.

“Exactly.” Dean spoke, making you turn towards him, just in time for Dean to connect his lips to yours.

Dean stared at himself on the screen. He was feeling all the same emotions he had felt when he kissed you all those years ago. That wasn’t just Dean stealing another one of Sam’s dates. This was different. That was something Dean had rarely felt in his life.

Sam stared at Dean with anger and betrayal. Sam knew about Dean’s habit of stealing girls from him but never with someone he actually cared about and loved. Dean would always gloat about it to his face but he had never mentioned this to him. He never even suspected it. What else had you two done behind his back?

“How could you?” Sam hissed.

“Sammy...” The gut wrenched look on Dean’s face told Sam that what he had just saw was different... It wasn’t the same as all the other girls.

The screen flashed to a new scene.

“Oh! This is my favorite part!” Chuck got the attention of the demoralized brothers.

“You can’t go!” You grabbed Sam’s arm. “You can’t go by yourself with Ruby to kill Lilith.”

“Let go of me.” Sam roughly shrugged his arm from you, making you stumble back.

“Sam, please.” You sobbed, the tears leaking down your face. “Do you really think this is the right thing to do? Drinking demon blood! Sleeping with a goddamn demon?!”

Sam glared at you, making you shrink away.

“You sound like, Dean.” Sam shook his head, continuing to pack his bags. Your heart dropped at the sound of Dean’s name like it always did, ever since your kiss at the park all those months ago.

All of the secret kisses, the late night talks when Sam would disappear with Ruby, the days where he would hold you as you cried about the way Sam was acting... The feelings that were sprouting because of all of that. The way they made you wonder why you were still trying to salvage your relationship with Sam. You had seen how Dean had stopped the random hookups since your kiss while Sam, your boyfriend, cheated on you repeatedly with a demon nevertheless.

“I’m scared for you, Sam. I don’t want you to get hurt. I love you.” The words sounded familiar but the feeling it gave off was foreign. Did you not love him anymore? “I’m your girlfriend...”

“I don’t love you and you’re not my girlfriend anymore.” Sam sounded cold. “I haven’t loved you for months and you’re just annoying me now. I’m with Ruby. I’ve been making it as obvious as I can and you just won’t take the hint.”

With that he slammed the motel room door. You felt scared for him. You felt like you needed to stop him. Like he was making a big mistake. But you didn’t feel heartbroken and that told you that you didn’t love Sam anymore like you had thought.

“He finally broke the news, huh?” You glared at the demon to your left.

“Go away, Ruby.” You hissed. “Isn’t he going to meet you-” Maybe it was the fact that you had been working with her for awhile that made you turn away without fear of what happened next.

You were still in the motel room when you woke up. Tied to the motel room bed. It was hazy but you could make out Ruby standing in front of you.

“You’re finally awake.” Ruby gave you a malice smirk.

“I knew it.” You groaned at the throbbing headache that formed as the result of getting hit in the head by whatever Ruby had used.

“Too bad, Sammy didn’t.” Ruby rolled her eyes. “You know I was supposed to kill you the night you cheated on him but well after that heated performance I didn’t think you were a problem anymore.”

“Screw you.” You pulled at your restraints. “If I’m not a problem then why am I tied up?”

Ruby gave a grin that made you shiver in fear. “I have some time to spare before Sam makes it to where I’m supposed to be. Dean’s busy so he won’t be coming back for a couple of hours. And I really don’t like you.”

3 hours and 42 minutes of extreme torture. She had started by cutting deep wounds in your stomach and continued lower... She filleted your feet and skinned random parts of your body. One of your ears were torn off at some point. Your wrists and ankles were raw from where you had been pulling on your restraints. Your fingernails were on the floor somewhere and by now all you could see was your own red blood soaking the bed sheets.

You don’t know how you hadn’t bled out by now but you had wished you did. There was no coming back from this. If you had somehow survived... there wouldn’t be a life worth living after. Even though you had believed that, when you heard the rumbling of the Impala, hope sparked in you. Dean was back. He could save you. He could stop her and save the world. Ruby had explained to you her entire plan while torturing you. How Sam killing Lilith was the final seal to release Lucifer.

“Dean.” The gargled, quiet plea was silenced by Ruby as she used her knife to quickly slice your tongue off. The pain the seared through your body as she shoved the pillowcase into your mouth when there was a knock on the door.

You watched as she quickly changed her clothes and cleaned the blood off of her arms. She strutted across the room to the door. He won’t see you from that angle...

“Where’s Y/n?” You heard Dean demand when Ruby peaked her head out.

“With Sam, obviously.” Ruby rolled her eyes.

“This is their room.” You could hear the undertone of hurt in his voice.

“She wasn’t too keen on well... using the same bed as Sam and I.” Ruby shrugged. “They’re four rooms down.”

“I’ll go make sure myself.” Dean glared at Ruby and stalked down towards the door, fully prepared to bang on the door... Until he heard the familiar sound of a headboard banging on the wall. In a moment he felt his heart tear before pushing it down and backing away.

“I warned you.” Ruby grinned as Dean stalked past her with an angry look on his face.

A gargled noise left your mouth as tears left a clean stream of skin down your face.

“That’s actually some prostitute and a senator but Dean doesn’t know that.” Ruby spoke quieter, now that she knew Dean was in his room adjacent to yours.  “He really loves you, did you know that?”

A strangled noise left your mouth.

“I’m going to mix your blood in with the demon blood Sam’s going to drink.” Ruby grinned. “I’ll tell him once he free’s Lucifer.”

And then in a quick slash, your throat was opened and you quickly bled out of existence.

Sam and Dean stared in horror as the screen faded away. They didn’t know... They didn’t know that Ruby had slaughtered you like that.

“So much emotion. I really outdid myself there.” Chuck stood, clapping as the lights turned on.

“I could have saved her.” Dean whispered. He felt dizzy and exhausted.

“Both of us could have.” Sam felt nauseous and disgusted with himself.

“No-No.” Dean spat angrily. “You were jacked up on demon blood. You weren’t yourself. I was. I should have known. I should have-”

“Don’t- just don’t” Chuck cut him off with that familiar dissatisfied look. “Just enjoy my gift while it lasts.”

And then he was gone and the brothers were free to move.

“You-You loved her?” Sam spoke after a few moments of silence.

Dean nodded as he sat on one of the chairs with his head in his hands. He couldn’t get the image of you, tortured and broken on that bed out of his head. A new nightmare to plague his sleep. One worse than all.

“It was just a crush when we were kids.” Dean spoke, trying to hide the fact the emotions he was feeling. “And then you guys got together and I was annoyed and then I got back from hell and... she was so sad.”

“Because of me...” Sam felt his heart break again at the thought of you.

“I never... I never slept with her.” Dean looked up at Sam. “There were a few kisses and some nights where she would sleep in my bed with me. But I never took in any further because I knew that you loved her too. I knew that it wasn’t you hurting her. But I couldn’t let her think that nobody was going to treat her right-”

“I get it.” Sam nodded. “I just thought she was alive somewhere. Hunting, living her life.”

“I thought she would have been married by now. With kids... A normal life.” Dean closed his eyes when he felt his tears well up. “I hoped that she got out.”

It felt like they sat there in silence forever, lost in there own emotions before Dean’s phone rang.

“I’m not dealing with this shit right now-” Dean was fully ready to reject the call until he saw who was calling.

“What game is Chuck playing?” Sam growled when he saw who was calling.

A picture of you, smiling and alive was splayed onto Dean’s phone.