#Didn’t mean for it too but I’m just so tired of her bs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trash1129 · 1 year

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SELF-SABOTAGE | Chapter 17: Lovebirds

(Buckle up everyone this one is a big one)

(Y/n) sat on her bed in silence as she stared at her last text conversation with Yeonjun asking if she and soobin could pick up some drinks for the movie night tonight. The movie night she was contemplating flaking out on until he texted her before she would even do anything to attempt to get out of it. Her eyes closed for a minute as she let out a heavy sigh.

What was there to even be scared of? Why was she so nervous about this? It was just a simple movie night between friends. It was an opportunity to become friends with Yeonjun and Soobin’s friend group. So why was she nervous about all of this? It’s nothing her and Soobin haven’t done before.

They have been selling this couple BS well so far, or at least, that’s what Beomgyu has been telling her. They checked off the basic couple things. Walking next to each other, holding hands, sitting next to each other every chance they got, leaning their heads on one of each other’s shoulders, hugging, and all that jazz. Yet, Yeonjun and Chaeyeon seemed to be able to tell something was off and it was driving (Y/n) insane. If Chaeyeon and Yeonjun knew something was off then Jaeyi must have noticed too, right?

A loud groan left (Y/n)’s mouth as she fell flat against her bed opening her eyes to stare at her bedroom ceiling.

Maybe her and Soobin needed to talk more about everything. Try and find a way to make this more comfortable for both of them, so it could seem natural.

Well, it wasn’t too bad for (Y/n) anymore at least. She grew somewhat used to her and Soobin’s actions. They hung out by themselves at least a few times after he found her in the planetarium but not too often. After that day, she decided that maybe Soobin wasn’t as much of an asshole as she originally thought. He was still insufferable but she could actually stand being around him for longer than a few hours now.

The girl kept her eyes trained on the ceiling for a good few more minutes before picking up her phone to check the time.

6:00 pm

The movie night at Yeonjun and Dino’s place started at 7 according to the text Yeonjun sent in the DDR chat earlier that day. It was mainly set at that time because Soobin and Taehyun had swim practice until 6:30, so that would give them time to head home and quickly get what they need then head over to the apartment.

(Y/n) boredly scrolled through her phone a bit but kept glancing at the time every few minutes.

If Soobin got done practice at 6:30 then when would they meet up to go to Yeonjun’s place? Didn’t they have to pick up drinks? Or was that for her to do alone? Maybe they were going to go separately to his place-

Wait, why was she thinking so hard about this?

“Ugh,” (Y/n) huffed out and forced herself to sit up on her bed once more. Her hand coming up and ruffling her hair in slight frustration from overthinking. Another sigh left her and she looked over to her overnight bag she packed in the corner of her room. She always packed one when she would head over to Yeonjun’s place as she always seemed too tired to go home by the time they were finished with whatever they were doing.

Her eyes slowly look over to the digital alarm clock by her bed:

6:10 pm

(Y/n) glanced back at her overnight bag then to her phone.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I’m doing this..” she muttered to herself as she got up from her bed and walked over to grab her bag.

Soon enough, she was outside the HYBE University’s pool. Her bag over her should as she awkwardly leaned against the building, checking the time. It was about 6:25 meaning Soobin would be done practice soon. (Y/n) bit her lip as she looked back at the buildings entrance doors.

Maybe she should leave. This was stupid. Why was she even doing this?

The girl went back and forth for a bit before opening her messages between her and Soobin.

‘I’m outside.’

(Y/n) stared at the text for a good while before finally hitting send. Nervously staring at the screen as she waited for it to be read, regretting sending it with every second that passed.

She nervously felt her pulse pick up as she noticed the 3 chat bubble dots pop up; However, they disappeared as soon as they were seen.

‘Oh god, why did I even do this. This is weird. He is gonna find this weird and he is going to be a bitch and dog on me for this’ She mentally cursed at herself while shutting off her phone.

“Well, this is a nice surprise.”

Soobin’s voice nearly made her jump out of her skin.

(Y/n) quickly tore her eyes upwards to see Soobin walking towards her from the front entrance of the pool. He was in a HYBE University swim team jacket and some plain black sweat pants; His hair seemed to be slightly wet from either swimming or getting into the shower after practice. He walked up to her with his dimples on full display causing her to look away from his face quickly.

Why was he so happy to see her?

“How’d you know I had practice today?” He asked when finally in front of her. His small grin still on his face.

“Oh um, Yeonjun mentioned you and Taehyun had practice when we were talking about times for the movie night…” (Y/n) trailed off slightly when explaining. Gosh, when did she get this awkward? It’s almost like her and Soobin switched personalities.

Soobin just stared at her seemingly in an endearing way as she explained. His heart secretly singing at the fact she came by to pick him up after practice.

“And you decided to pick me up?” He asked, smile stuck to his face, as (Y/n) nodded finally looking up at him.

“Cute” he chuckled out.

(Y/n) nearly did a double take because of the comment but then looked around their surroundings to see the swim team still standing around and talking.

Right. They were in public.

(Y/n) gathered herself and threw a smile back at him. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever, you big goof.” She playfully punched his arm.

Soobin let out a small laugh as (Y/n) finally moved from her postion of leaning on the building, adjusting her bag on her shoulder.

Before (Y/n) could say anything else, Taehyun quickly ran up to the two of them.

“Soobin, you and (Y/n) are still going to Yeonjun’s tonight, right- oh hey,” the younger boy quickly caught himself as he saw the fake couple standing with each other. The two quickly looked over at Taehyun as he stood next to them.

“Uh…hi?” (Y/n) waved while Soobin rolled his eyes at the girl’s sudden stiffness.

“Yeah, we are. (Y/n) actually surprised me and came to pick me up. Isn’t that right, babe?” Soobin smiled while pulling the girl into a small side hug.

(Y/n) instantly falling into character and wrapping her arms around his waist and nodding with a smile. Noticing Soobin tense slightly from her suddenly falling back into their fake dynamic.

“Yup! I thought it would be nice to pick him up, then grab some drinks for the movie night, and head over.” She beamed towards Taehyun, pinching Soobin’s side secretly as if to tell him to chill the fuck out.

Soobin winced lightly and shot her a quick look before directing his attention back to Taehyun, who seemed to be analyzing them.

The younger boy slowly nodded with an eyebrow raised slightly in question.

“Okay…well, see you two later, I guess”, Taehyun hesitantly said before giving them one more glance and walking away.

The fake couple watched as he walked away and quickly untangled themselves from the hug. They both said nothing as they looked at each other silently agreeing that they needed to walk away from his teammates. Soobin being the first to interlock their fingers and start heading away from the building, (Y/n) stumbling slightly before following in suit.

Once they were far enough away, they finally both went to speak up.

“You need to chill the fuck out”

“Why the hell did you pinch me?”

Both (Y/n) and Soobin blurted out at the same time. The two stopping and looking at each other with slightly agitated expressions.

(Y/n) huffed and rolled her eyes, “I pinched you because you were tense! We can’t look awkward in front of your friends!” She explained while looking up at Soobin in frustration.

Soobin was quick to furrow his brows at the comment, “it was barely noticeable! You pinching me definitely made it seem more weird than me being slightly tense!”

The two stood there in a beat of silence, both with slightly annoyed expressions as they stared at each other.

(Y/n) was first to break eye contact and quickly looked away only to notice their hands still interlocked.

She quickly pulled her hand away from Soobin’s. Her cheeks burning slightly from the embarrassment of still holding his hand throughout an argument.

“Whatever, let’s just quickly grab what we need from the store and head over to Yeonjun’s.” She mumbled as she sped walked ahead.

Soobin stood there for a minute slightly confused but hurried after her.

(Y/n) could feel herself get more and more embarrassed by the second. Why was this so embarrassing? What was going on with her lately?

Stress. It was probably just stress.

After heading the to nearest store and grabbing what they needed, they were at Yeonjun’s apartment door.

Soobin glanced at (Y/n) before gently putting an arm around her, causing her to jump and look up at him with a confused look.

“We need to look like a couple, remember?” He said with a small smile seemly to try and calm her nerves.

The girl slowly nodded and shook herself out of the weird headspace she was in earlier.

She was really just getting in her head over these things. She needed to calm down. Soobin was even trying to be nice again and help her calm down. She just needed to get out of her own head.

(Y/n) let a breath out and looked at the door once more, “yeah, sorry.” She said softly and then knocked on the door.

A loud yell erupted from inside followed by a few sounds that seemed like people tripping over each other. It was then followed by a voice, that (Y/n) could only assume was Chae’s, yelling at whoever was causing the problem. Soobin and (Y/n) exchanged a confused look before the door swung open to reveal a heavily breathing, slightly disheveled, Beomgyu.

“Welcome, love birds!” He greeted them as a just as disheveled Yeonjun popped up from seemingly being knocked over on the floor.

“Hey! This is my place! What gives you the right to greet my guests like you own the place?!” The older male yelled while getting up and shoving Beomgyu away from the door before putting on a smile.

“Hey, Soob. Hey, (Y/n).”

The duo stared at him for a minute before Chaeyeon peeked her head over to the door from the inside of apartment.

“Please come in. We have only been here for a few minutes and I’m already about to lose my mind” Chaeyeon practically begged.

A small snort left (Y/n) as she grabbed Soobin’s arm and dragged him into the apartment past Yeonjun.

The apartment was much cleaner than the last time (Y/n) saw it which was a relief, but it was just as chaotic as usual. Maybe even more so, due to the addition of new people. Beomgyu was still seemingly about to jump Yeonjun for kicking him from greeting the couple. Kai and Hyojeong were busy in the corner seeming to be losing at a game of UNO against Taehyun. While Chaeyeon looked like a few years were taken off of her life span from dealing with everyone (minus Taehyun as he seemed to be the only other chill person there).

The large couch in the middle of the apartment had a few blankets thrown on there for everyone to use during them movie while the loveseat had a matching aesthetic. The coffee table held bowls of popcorn and candy, as well as a few waters seeing as (Y/n) and Soobin got the other drinks. It was a cute little set up.

(Y/n) just laughed slightly at everything going on and turned to Yeonjun, “Hey, Jun. where do you want us to put these?” She asked while holding up the bag of sodas and gesturing to the pack of hard lemonades that Yeonjun requested they pick up.

Jun turned his attention away from Beomgyu, who he currently putting in a headlock, to (Y/n) and Soobin.

“Oh, you can put those in the fridge for now. We can bring them out when pizza gets here and we start the movie.”

Soobin nods as he and (Y/n) quickly head to the kitchen and store the drinks away. Soobin watching as (Y/n) is walks around the kitchen, grabbing paper plates from a cabinet, complaining about how Jun always forgets to bring plates out for when they order food.

A small smile crawls onto his face as she seems to be sorting out Yeonjun’s kitchen for him.

“What?”

(Y/n)’s voice snaps him back to reality.

“Nothing, just find it funny that you are cleaning Hyung’s kitchen for him.” He comments still smiling like an idiot.

(Y/n) rolls her eyes, “It’s not my fault him and Chan are practically slobs. I’m surprised it’s at least this clean. Usually it looks like a war zone in here. I’m always cleaning when I come over because Yeonjun doesn’t seem to understand the concept of cleaning.”

“Oh trust me, I know. I had to clean out his locker senior year because it was right next to mine and I couldn’t stand the avalanche of papers that would fall from his locker every time he opened it.” Soobin explained with a small laugh.

(Y/n) suddenly bursted out laughing,

“Oh my gosh! I remember that! You had to call the janitor over to help scrub the inside of his locker!”

Soobin couldn’t help but start laughing more as (Y/n) bursted our in laughter.

The both of them going back and forth with stupid stories they had with Yeonjun in high school until they were nearly crying from laughing. (Y/n) leaning on Soobin for support while clenching her stomach. The two enjoying the small moment of shared laughter with each other.

The shorter of the duo thinking to herself about how maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to have Soobin as a friend. Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt and they could become good friends.

(Y/n) was catching her breath from the last story Soobin told about Yeonjun nearly getting kicked out of the elementary school play when they were kids. Her body still nearly leaning against his from earlier.

After realizing how close they were, she was quick to try and back up.

“Sorry- oh!”

(Y/n) almost tumbled backwards due to tripping on the leg of a stool she didn’t notice.

“Woah!”, Soobin was quick to catch her and pull her back up.

“You good?” He asked still holding her by the waist to keep her steady.

She nods and goes to speak before Hyojeong bursts into the kitchen loudly. “Break it up, Barbie and Ken. You guys are disgusting…Beomgyu was right about the cheesy K-drama bullshit.” She snickers as the two pull away from each other quickly.

“Lu!” (Y/n) hisses out feeling her face burn slightly.

“Sorry! Sorry! Yeonjun wanted me to tell you, while you two were busy making out or whatever, that the pizza is here and we are going to start the movie soon.” The younger girl explained while hurrying to the fridge and grabbing the drinks that the duo bought earlier.

The seating arrangements for the night were simple. On the couch was Yeonjun, Taehyun, Chaeyeon, Beomgyu, Kai, and Lucy. Taehyun and Chaeyeon acting as a barrier between Gyu and Yeonjun in hopes of keeping the movie night on track. While Soobin and (Y/n) were, of course, banished to the loveseat.

Everyone was settled in their positions, some of them under the blankets Yeonjun provided, pizza was served on paper plates, the bowls of popcorn and candy near everyone, and everyone had their drink of choice.

Beomgyu had been the one to choose the movie after an extremely intense game of rock, paper, scissors.

And, to no one’s shock, he chose a rom-com; Staring Soobyn down evilly while making the decision. (Yeonjun also stared the two down just as connivingly as the choice was made).

(Y/n) and Soobin sat on the loveseat. Both sharing a blanket like any couple would. (Y/n)’s head resting on Soobin’s shoulder with his arm thrown around her.

The movie was cheesy to say the least. (Y/n) felt herself fighting off laughter at some stupid scenes and she could tell Soobin fighting off laughter as well.

The group on the couch next to them seemed to sneak glanced at them every now and then. By “the group”, that meant Yeonjun and Beomgyu. (Occasionally Chaeyeon)

The two watched (Y/n) and Soobin like a hawk. One in hopes of watching them fuck up slightly and suffer. The other wanting to see his Soobyn agenda in action.

Both (Y/n) and Soobin could feel their gazes. That alone was somewhat uncomfortable but it also meant they probably should amp up the act.

(Y/n) sighed and leaned close to Soobin’s ear, “They’re watching. What do we do?” She whispered not noticing Soobin tense at how close she was.

His brown eyes shifted over to hers and then glanced at the two males staring them down. He lets out a small sigh and purses his lips in contemplation.

“…I have a small idea but I don’t think you’ll like it much…”

That enough was to make the girl next to him raise a brow.

Soobin looked over at the screen then back at (Y/n), “do you trust me?”

“No.”

“(Y/n)-”

“I’m joking, I trust you…..but like not the type of trust that you won’t poison me the second you get the chance.” She snickered quietly as Soobin gave her a look that made her roll her eyes.

Soobin turned her attention back to the movie and (Y/n) stared at him waiting for whatever he was going to do but it didn’t happen. He just seemed to be watching the movie.

(Y/n) huffed slightly at the fact he got all serious for him only to go back to watching some trope filled movie. Soon enough, she started watching it again too.

A scene played showing the two leads getting into an argument over a stupid miscommunication.

“Look, babe. It’s like when you thought I pulled the chair out from under you in high school.” Soobin said aloud while pointing at the screen and turning his head to face (Y/n).

Not only did this catch (Y/n)’s attention but also everyone on the couch across from their’s attention.

“…what? Oh- oh that. Dude, listen, to be fair it was like my 2nd time meeting you after you were a butt to me the first time! What else was I supposed to think?” She replied in a playful manner but her eyes were practically staring daggers at Soobin as if to say ‘what the hell are you doing’ and also ‘I still hold that grudge not matter what you told me’

Soobin lets out a laugh and smiles at her, “it’s not my fault I got nervous! you were super pretty and smart even in high school.”

Okay, now that was an unexpected comment.

(Y/n) could feel her cheeks starting to blush at the sudden comment. Even if it was a fake one.

“Babe..” she warned.

“Sorry, sorry. It just reminded me of how we used to be.” Soobin’s dimples were fully showing now.

Suddenly, (Y/n) felt a pair of lips hit her cheek.

She froze for a second as if to process what happened, her eyes widening slightly.

Soobin just kissed her. Not her lips to be fair but kissed her none the less.

Snapping out of her shock, her face slightly still burning, she pushes his shoulder away in a joking manner. Letting out a hushed “Soobin!” as if she was embarrassed by the sudden affection (to be fair, she was to a certain degree).

The couple let out some giggles as if they were truly together and play fighting.

“Gag me with a spoon-”

“Tae!”

The two look over to see Yeonjun glaring at Taehyun, who looked like he was done with the situation.

Lucy and Chae were giggling slightly to each other before deciding to turn their attention back to the movie.

Kai gave them an all too awkward thumbs up while Beomgyu seemed to mouth the words ‘Boba’ the couple’s way.

Soobin let out a small laugh and turned his attention back to the movie and soon everyone else followed in suit.

Except (Y/n), who sat there in some relative shock due to the fact:

The kiss didn’t bother her much.

Summary: After (Y/n) breaks up with her ex, Do Jaeyi, she isn’t left alone by him. Finally after being bothered nonstop, she breaks and tells him she is dating her high school rival, Choi Soobin. Now they are left to keep up the act of being a couple till this all blows over. Little does (Y/n) know Soobin has been waiting for a chance like this.

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A/n: WELL THERE WE GO!!!!! This is probably going to be the last written one of a good while as I feel like I've been making them a lot compared to other SMAUs that I've seen, but we will see if I keep that commitment lol. I do apologize for the length of this chapter lmao but I felt it was needed to grow the characters some. ALSOOOOOO I want to keep you guys up to date with stuff and interact with you more! So I want to make a tag for stuff relating to this series so I can tag it when I have some news! I also would use it for if you guys send me asks! So help me with some ideas for series tag names and don't be afraid to interact with me on my page! Love youuuuuu

TAGLIST. Open @etherealcherrie @i2lain @hoonfever @faeryhee

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georgiapeach30513 · 6 months

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This may now be a controversial opinion (lol) but I definitely think CE got hotter as he got older. Especially when he became a dad in defending Jacob. He looked so naturally fine in that era of 2019-to even 2022. I wasn’t a fan of younger versions of him because it was too frat boy hs jock looking. But Steve era and onwards = chefs kiss. Until maybe this last year. I felt like summer of 2022 something was already starting to crack for him publicly - people were saying he didn’t seem so happy to be at the premiers and there was all this dumb Deuxmoi BS and I felt like his repeated mentions of the industry and what it makes you do was his way of crying out for help or frustration. I don’t think he was just making it up to be dramatic because Jennifer Lawrence and Michelle yeoh in particular have also alluded to the woes of the industry. Jen especially was more open about it and it was after the Harvey W stuff.

I also feel like there’s been a serious (sometimes unfair) projection and fantasy of him by fanfiction writers and fans who want to be like “husband CE or husband his characters” so they were expecting him to thrive into his looks and persona once he settled down and got married. They were expecting husband and father era and domestic settle down era CE. So far - whatever this is that’s happening isn’t apparently showcasing it (or at least, not publicly) so fans and former fans are extra disappointed because a part of their fantasy has been burst. I do get it and I do understand it but I also don’t think it’s fair. It’s his life to live and he can’t just please everyone and look a certain way and just because he doesn’t look great in a photo doesn’t mean he got too much Botox or is drug addicted or etc. also - he JUST “got married.” Like two months ago. who knows what the future will look like. I’m just tired of all these negative comments but these same negative nancies won’t just buzz off and leave these spaces either.

However…I do think if he’s with the right person or married the right person - you’d definitely see a difference. You’d see a more genuine smile and glow because I do think that’s what happened for Tom Hiddleston. While I really enjoy his personality, I personally don’t think Tom is my idea of handsome and his hairline isn’t great - but he looks genuinely and candidly happy with his partner. Those out in the wild pics don’t lie.

I know lots of ppl disliked Jenny Slate for CE, but publicly I felt like the candids ppl got of him while with her - he actually looked happy. Similar IMO to how Tom looks with Zawe. They actually looked good together and TBH if she was who he married I really think you’d get more legit sightings of them living their lives and less trolling anons and blurry photos. His looks and persona didn’t fade drastically while he dated her and didn’t fade while he dated his other public exes. I know some people on here who hated the Jenny era will disagree but 100% if you compared photos and public behavior he definitely seemed more free and comfortable to be out with her, seen with her, etc.

Right now tho…something deeper is happening. Who knows what. But something isn’t right. It feels like a marvel Skrull has taken over CE and the real or previous him is either gone or just trapped in another lost dimension.

Again - this could all just be projection. IDK

Can I just say, because I don’t think there’s anything further to add that you could see his care for Jenny written all over his face.

I have been a longtime fan of his, I don’t always believe his words. I believe his actions.

#Jen.ask

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80pairsofcrocs · 2 years

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baby scarab || 54

anon - y/n slapping marc on the butt so hard he falls over

~~~

anon - i only speak the truth

with that said, y/n pokes his butt whenever he is in front of her walking up the stairs. they share a parental bond but also a sibling one when y/n is mischievous enough?

~~~

anon - I just had a really cool bs idea. so like you know how y/n got turned into an 8 year old because of the murder bird, well do you also remember when Marc said he wanted to see things like y/ns first step and words and stuff. well what if murder bird turned y/n into a baby but this time she has a babies mind. and that way the moon boys can see her first steps and possibly her first words. I think that'd be really sweet and funny cause they prob have no idea how to take care of a baby ;)

~~~

A/N : this is everywhere.

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : THERE IS NO MORE SCHEDULE, IM SORRY also thank you all sm for the support and requests :)))

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), spidey stuff, mentions of violence, language, fighting, nothing else really, crack, let me know if i missed anything.

~~~

you and marc were eating dinner when your tingle went off.

you didn’t know why, even though you and marc sweepers the entire apartment in the middle of dinner and locked all the windows.

you couldn’t find a single thing that could’ve set it off.

marc suggested that maybe your abilities were going haywire again.

steven and jake agreed, and you all let it go.

but the one thing you didn’t tell them was that it also went off when you were walking home from town earlier that day.

and yet again, you paid no mind to it, hoping it was nothing.

i mean, as far as you knew it was absolutely nothing.

but right now, the boys had other things to worry about.

“go to bed right the fuck now” marc says to you and you shake your head.

“i’m not fucking tired” you deadpan back to him.

“please watch your fucking language” steven complains.

“then let me stay up” you argue.

“no i actually agree with marc, and we all had this talk yesterday so please go to bed” steven tries to negotiate to which you ignore him.

marc sighs and hands the control right over to jake, who cracks his neck before making his way towards you.

you were glaring down at your phone until it was snatched from your grip and set down on the coffee table.

it was just then when you realized that you fucked up.

you practically heard jakes eye twitch when you got up and hid behind the couch.

he frustratedly sighs and quickly makes his way around to lift you up from where you were crouched down behind the couch, lifting you up further so that he could carry you to your room over his shoulder.

you were upside down, your phone dangling from your hand as marc laughed at your misery.

steven of course told him to knock it off, but ended up laughing as well.

you kind of just let it happen too, knowing you would’ve ended up being forced to go to bed anyways.

jake set you back down carefully on your bed after getting into your room.

you set your phone down on your nightstand, and proceeded to just blankly stare up at jake until he decided to say something.

“we need to talk” he tells you seriously and you tilt your head as he grabs two of your mirrors, setting them up on your nightstand next to your phone. steven in one and marc in the other.

“we just need to ask you a question, that’s all” steven starts, and it effectively makes your stomach churn in nervousness.

whenever they all got serious like this it never ends well.

it either ends with you crying or you being angry with all three of them.

you didn’t feel like doing either since you felt you were all finally getting along perfectly without too many petty arguments.

plus, none of you have gotten seriously hurt since that one incident where you broke your nose.

and then a few days later you broke their nose.

“khonshu brought something to our attention” marc continues for steven and you sigh, remembering what khonshu had told you last night.

“that son of a bitch had no right to tell you” you speak up and steven shakes his head.

“please watch the language” he states sternly and you nod sheepishly as an apology.

“i know we say that you don’t have to tell us until you’re ready, but we need to know about this one” marc continues and you stare down at your hands.

“it’s just this once, we promise” jake assures you and you take a breath before speaking.

“it was one of the homes i was grateful you didn’t see” you start. “when you saw my memories” you clarify.

“it was before my last one… and there was an incident where my ‘mother’..” you put the last word in air quotes.

“she uhm.. got mad” you blink away tears.

marc could barely watch or listen to you.

he had already gone through enough with his own mother, and just hearing what an old foster mom had done to his little girl was really close to setting him off.

he had a million mixed feelings, he wanted to hide in the headspace, but he also wanted to just be there for you so that he wasn’t alone like he was.

well, he wasn’t really alone, but he had to act like he was.

“what did she do?” jake asks softly and you look up at him through blurry vision.

“she threw a glass bottle at me and.. she pushed me down so she…. so she could cut me with the broken pieces” you choke on your last words, hiding your face in your hands after the reveal.

all three of your dads had different reactions.

all of which included disgust and guilt.

steven felt like he was going to vomit right then and there. you see, this was a bit different than just hitting a kid.

not that it was okay to hit kids- it’s just that the simple words your said made him sick.

she did in fact push you to the ground to cut up your back through your shirt when you were what? 9? 10? you can’t even remember anymore.

you were only with that family for a month.

now jake didn’t have his usual feeling of rage. it was more guilt than anything else.

he should’ve known something was up. that’s what he was there for, to figure things out.

marc was checked out at this point. he had disappeared from the mirror, jake being able to feel him lingering in the back of his head.

they didn’t know what to say, honestly. which was reasonable considering you were too lost in your own head to hear it.

it only took one gentle touch to your shoulder to make you look back up at jake and wipe your tears away.

“i’m sorry princesa. we just had to know this time” he sighs, and you simply nod.

“yeah i was going to have to tell you guys at some point” you shrug.

“will you be okay?” steven asks and you nod again.

“you guys should get sleep too” you start bluntly. “old people need rest too, you know” you chuckle, trying to lighten the mood and forget about what you just told them.

“just.. please actually go to sleep tonight” jake tells you and you nod, saying goodnight to all to only get a response from two.

steven had promised to talk to marc as well, assuring you that it wasn’t your fault he disappeared again.

and one more thing- jake mentioned something about the day frank had brought you home.

he told you that you about whoever ‘red’ was, and you weren’t entirely sure what he was talking about.

so when jake closed your door for the night, that was your mission.

to find out who red was.

and of course the first person you call was your boyfriend.

you knew he would have no idea but you just wanted to hear his voice. even if it was just for a second.

your phone only rung twice before he picked up.

“why are you calling so late you’re supposed to be asleep” is the first thing he says to you.

“so are you” you raise an eyebrow at the device, smiling when you hear him laugh.

“no but for real, why are you calling me so late?”

“it’s only nine”

“yeah, well-“

“i’m trying to figure something out” you cut him off, getting to the reason you called him.

“go on” he responds.

“let’s say someone you know has like- a nickname but you don’t know the nickname” you start. “how would- how would you figure out who it was?” you ask and casper takes a minute to respond.

“well it depends on the nickname-“

“it’s ‘red’”

“okay.. so does anyone you know like the color red?”

“i don’t know” you shrug, even though he can’t see you.

“..i’m sorry i don’t really know how to help” casper says sadly.

you just smile. “no it’s okay, i just needed some input. i’ll figure it out” you tell him and you can almost sense him smiling as well.

“so i’ll.. i’ll see you soon then?” he asks and you hum in acknowledgment.

“very soon i hope” you tell him.

“have a good night, y/n. i lo- just get some rest” he adds on quickly while you feel heat rush to your cheeks.

“yeah.. you too” you say before hanging up and staring at your black screen before shoving your face into your pillow and letting out a silent scream.

you got over casper’s little slip up fairly quickly since you still had to find out who exactly ‘red’ was.

your second best bet was someone smart, someone who you knew was good at figuring things out.

and what’s better than the lawyer who gave you his card?

but now you had a problem.

you had to find the card first.

you don’t know why you didn’t just save matt’s number in your phone after you got the card.

well, in your defense he seemed like a creep until he told you why he was looking for you in the first place.

you got off your bed to dig through your pile of sweaters sitting in the corner of your room.

you shuffle from pocket to pocket until you finally find the crumpled card.

you smile as you read it, typing the number in your phone after sitting back down on your bed.

it only rings four times before he answers, expect you were the one who spoke first.

“heyyyyy matt its y/n i need to talk to you” you say quickly and you hear him snort.

“i was wondering when you’d finally call” he replies. “what can i do for you?”

“so i have this friend. his name is frank, and he told me that he has knows a guy called ‘red’ and i’m trying to figure out who it is” you rant and it’s silent for a minute.

“frank castle?” he asks and you make a face.

“you know him?” you question and you hear him chuckle.

“i do. now who do you think ‘red’ is?” you sense a kind of playfulness in his voice, which makes you suspicious.

“well i obviously know them and they know me..” you trail off, really thinking about it.

“and now that i think about it i do know someone who has a red costume”

“it’s not a costume” matt tells you.

“so it’s you?” you ask and you hear him hum to confirm.

“took you long enough” you roll your eyes at his comment.

“so how do you and frank know each other?”

“how do you and frank know each other?” matt shoots back.

“he kinda just showed up. he’s been here in london for like a month” you tell him.

“i’m assuming he didn’t chain you to a roof the first time you met?” he asks and you snort.

“i’m assuming that you did though” you point out.

matt just chuckles again. “it might have” he starts. “well now that you’ve figured it out i’m sure frank already told you the basics?”

“that i can call you whenever i want?“

“something like that” you can sense a smile by his voice. “if you need anything, and i mean anything don’t hesitate to reach out”

“i will. don’t be a stranger, daredevil”

“the only strange one here is you”

you both laugh softly before saying your goodbyes, and once you hang up you decide to finally get some sleep.

and you were just hoping your dads were too.

~~~

third pov

~~~

it wasn’t exactly known to anybody that khonshu listens to everything and anything.

everyone just kind of assumed he was anywhere but where his avatars were when he wasn’t present in the room.

but here he was, about to cast another freaky spell on y/n, jus because of something all his avatars agreed on.

it may not seem like it, but khonshu pays attention to what makes them miserable and what makes them happy.

and they specifically said that they wished they could see y/ns first steps, and hear her first words.

so that’s what khonshu was going to do.

of course he didn’t think it through though, not thinking about if you had to go to work or anything.

he just kind of gets an idea and does it.

so that’s how he ended up in this situation.

a baby no more than 16 months old.

and if khonshu had a heart, it would drop to his stomach, as he could not reverse it.

it was going to be a long 24 hours.

now, he was just planning on dipping right as y/ns dads woke up and found her, but they weren’t awake yet.

it was only 5 in the morning and the now very young y/n was bound to wake up at any moment.

and as if on cue, khonshu flinched at the sound of the baby’s crying, and he heard a thud before footsteps made their way towards the room.

“is there a baby in here? what the hell happened this time?” steven rushes in, khonshu disappearing in time to not be seen.

steven freezes at the sight, since it’s not like everyday he sees a baby in his teenage daughters bed.

with her nowhere to be seen, either.

“steven, amigo doesn’t that look just a bit like y/n?” jake notices so steven carefully steps closer, to which the baby stops crying to look up at him.

“oh jesus” steven starts. “she was pregnant and she didn’t tell us?!” he whisper shouts, and jake scoffs.

“ay ay ay- this has khonshu written all over it” jake mutters while steven continues to freak out.

“she said she was safe- we saw the condoms on the floor. unless she’s been doing it whenever we aren’t home-“

“steven shut up” marc tells him, shaking his head from one of y/ns mirrors.

“no but-“

“take a good look at her” marc refers to the now quiet child laying on the bed.

steven furrows his brows and looks right into the baby’s eyes, seeing as they are the exact same as y/ns.

“oh bollocks, it’s even got her eyes”

if marc could murder steven he would right at this moment.

“you idiot, that is y/n” marc sighs and steven tilts his head until it all clicks.

“ohhhhh” he realizes. “oh. what do we do?” he asks into the mirror, seeing jake shrug.

khonshu was nice enough to provide the needs for y/n next to her on the bed.

like a diaper bag basically.

he wasn’t that cruel.

“you think any of us know?” jake asks rhetorically, and notices that y/n was tearing up again and reaching out for steven.

“guys!?” steven looks for at least a bit of guidance, but receives no help whatsoever.

“just pick her up, she obviously wants you” marc tells steven and he nods.

“right- but she’s so small, what if i drop her?” steven panics and jake scoffs.

“just make sure to support her head. you won’t drop her” he assures him.

steven just carefully picks up the fussing baby slowly, making her stop to just stare up at steven.

“heyyyy darling” steven whispers, slightly rocking y/n from side to side.

“please don’t cry” he pleads with the small girl, to which she lets out a squeaky laugh, and hits steven in the chin with her hand.

he deadpans down at the baby while she continues to lightly smack him.

“aw she likes you” marc teases, making steven roll his eyes.

he walks slowly out of y/ns room, with her still in his arms, and he settles her in his lap after sitting down on the couch.

“at least she’s quiet” jake says, the other two agreeing.

“how long do you think she’s going to be like this?” steven asks.

“how are we supposed to know?” marc shoots back, making steven roll his eyes again.

y/n looks around the room, settling to stare at the laptop on the coffee table in front of her.

steven looks down and notices her line of sight, which reminds him of something.

he used one hand to make sure y/n didn’t fall over, while the other grabbed the laptop and opened it after a few tries.

“what are you doing?” marc asks him.

“you know how school is starting next week?” steven starts. “well i’ve been looking into taking online classes”

“for what? you’re like 50” jake chuckles.

“we are 43, thank you very much” steven responds. “but i’m looking into egyptology. maybe i could be some kind of important historian or something” he shrugs, signing himself up for said online class.

“hey, good for you” marc tells him genuinely, and it was right when steven smiled that y/n started to cry again.

steven shut the computer and set it aside before turning his full attention to y/n.

“nonono, shhhh don’t cry please- i don’t know what i’m doing” steven stands up, rocking the small girl in his arms.

“call layla” is all marc says, and steven does so without a second thought.

he carefully balances the crying y/n in one arm while he searches around for his phone, which only made the baby cry harder.

“please calm down” he whispers, trying to get the child to stop crying.

she was hanging onto stevens shirt with her tiny hands while she cried into his chest.

steven finally managed to spot his phone sitting on one of the many books he had at his desk, so he quickly made his way over there to call layla.

she answered after two rings, and sounded a bit out of breath. “marc?”

“no it’s steven. anyways listen i-“

“wait a second- is that a baby? please tell me you didn’t steal someone’s child” she accuses.

“of course not! we just have another khonshu situation” he explains in short and layla hums to confirm that she knows what he’s talking about.

“i’m so so sorry, but taweret has me doing a small mission right now” layla says regretfully.

steven let’s out a heavy sigh, while trying to think over the sound of y/ns crying.

“hey, doesn’t casper have a little sister? he would be more help than me anyways” layla offers a solution and marc immediately disagrees.

“don’t you dare-“

“oh yes, he does thank you” steven says, to which him and layla say their goodbyes before hanging up.

by now, y/n was growing tired, which meant the crying was only a bit quieter.

“steven i swear to- they are together. romantically” marc says.

“so? if he really likes her than he will help” steven half shrugs, going back into y/ns room to find her phone.

“it feels weird going through her stuff” jake points out.

“but it’s for a good cause. she won’t stop crying” steven murmurs.

“but it’s weird” marc whines, to which steven just scoffs and picks up y/ns phone from off her bed.

“do any of you remember her password?” steven asks and doesn’t receive an answer.

“i don’t know, she changed it a couple weeks ago, it used to be four digits but now it’s six” jake tells them, and they nod.

“well, how are we supposed to figure it out?” marc asks and steven looks around the room for some kind of clue.

y/n was calming down, but still letting out small sobs.

“wait, look over to her nightstand” jake starts. “those are seis letras” he nods over to the small piece of paper sticking out from under the mirror he was looking at steven through.

“okay, so it’s m, s, s, g, j, l” steven reads off as he types in the letters.

“i wonder what those mean” marc voices, and jake stays quiet while thinking about it.

“what if.. it’s our initials?” jake starts. “now hear me out. they are also in the order she met us in”

“oh my god you’re right, she met marc, then me, and then you, jake” steven says and all three of them smile while he finds casper’s contact to call him.

and of course, he picked up after the first ring while y/n was still quietly crying as steven rocked her back and forth.

“hey y/n-“

“not y/n it’s steven. so how- how are you? we need your help” stevens voice cracks at the end of his quick sentence.

it’s quiet for a minute. “..with what..?” casper asks.

“…well.. it’s a bit odd but uhmmm.. y/n is kind of- well she’s-“

“she’s what? what happened?” casper asks again, sounding a bit more stressed and worried than before.

“nonono, she’s fine she’s just very.. small?” steven tries to explain.

“okay- you know khonshu, y/n told you about him, right?”

“yeah”

“so he uhm.. kind of rewinded y/n so that she’s now 16 months old” he tries to make it sound as normal as possible.

“he what? is she okay?”

“yeah, she’s just really fussy and layla told me you were good with kids?”

“i think i am, i took care of my sister when she was a baby”

“that’s great”

there’s an awkward silence for a moment.

“i’ll be over in five”

“fantastic”

casper hangs up, and leaves steven to try and get y/n to stop crying.

he leaves the room to go back to the couch, where y/n stopped crying to just stare up at him with teary eyes.

“see, it’s okay” steven grabs one of the small blankets hanging on the back of the couch, wrapping y/n in a small burrito to keep her warm.

“why did khonshu have to do this? he knows damn well we can’t take care of a baby- we haven’t even thought of it” steven shakes his head.

“well…..” marc starts. “when you two aren’t around me and layla have talked about it”

“really? but you’re not even married anymore” steven replies, making jake snort to cover up a laugh.

“shut up- both of you” marc begins again. “but we have also talked about maybe getting remarried. you know, since we technically already have a kid together”

“true, and we’ll be there for you if and when you do” jake assures him, and right as he’s about to speak again, there’s a rapid knock at the door.

steven gently sets y/n down on the couch, making sure to put a pillow barrier between her and the edge.

he opens the door to see casper, who was looking down and fidgeting with his sleeve.

“so what exactly happened?” casper asks.

steven just sighs before letting him in.

it’s going to be a very long 24 hours.

~~~

casper helped a lot in giving tips on how to calm a rabid child.

it did feel weird seeing his girlfriend like that, it almost felt illegal in a way.

but he did have to leave though, his mom wanted him home after a couple hours.

and now it was marc who was sitting on the couch with y/n in his lap, staring up at him.

“is this what babies do all the time? just sit here and do nothing?” he asks and steven chuckles.

“well obviously, she can’t talk yet i’m guessing. or walk” he answers.

“ooh- try to get her to say something” jake offers and marc takes it into consideration.

“it’s worth a shot, hm?” he starts. “do you think she can hear you guys?” he then asks, receiving two ‘i don’t knows’ from both the other men.

marc just shrugs. “what do i do?” he asks, confused on how he was going to get y/n to say anything.

“hell if i know, mate. she’s just around the age that they would start talking so just have her say something simple” steven starts. “just ask nicely” he adds, and marc scoffs.

“can you tell steven to be quiet?” marc asks the baby, who just laughs.

“hey. well that wasn’t very nice” steven starts. “i meant something like ‘dad’ idiot” he continues, all of them smiling at the thought.

“alright then” marc turns his attention back to y/n. “okay baby, can you say ‘dad’?” marc asks the small child, who just stares up at him.

marc repeats those words a few times until y/n starts to hum along with him as he talks.

“good job, you’re getting there” he praises, continuing to try and convince y/n to say anything.

honestly all the guys missed her annoying voice.

it was the good kind of annoying though, like every time she opened her mouth they never knew what was going to come out.

they loved that about her, it’s was one of their favorite things.

the small girl hummed again before opening her mouth, trying to copy what marc had been telling her to say.

all three of the guys eyes widened, watching and listening intently.

y/n tried babbling the word a few times before she finally got it, while marc held his breath.

and then, she said it.

she said ‘dad’.

and it was technically her first word.

marc, steven, and jake were ecstatic. marc pulled her in close to his chest as she laughed, repeating how proud he was.

but that wasn’t all, she also happened to take her first three steps before falling over and bawling her eyes out again.

jake was fronting when that happened.

he had a genuine smile on his face, even when he was trying to get her to stop crying.

there was an incident though when marc was fronting.

y/n was about to finally fall asleep after being fed, and marc was going to go get some water when y/n reached out for him but ended up hitting him in the ass.

the thing is, y/n still had her spidey strength and knocked marc over.

technically y/n was stronger now.

she had the strength of a teenage girl and a little baby.

let’s just say her dads couldn’t wait until she was back to herself.

they were so underprepared to take care of her like this.

but they would always be prepared any other day.

any other day where she was back to her normal self.

any other day, no matter what she needed or when.

because that’s what dads are for.

~~~

A/N : i finally finished it thank god. it wasn’t too exciting. more plot worthy chapters coming soon

love you :)

~~~

taglist ---

@alexloveskili @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @thebiggestsimpshrimp @guyinachair27 @astrobuzzsstuff @mooonlight-and-stars @moonlighting87 @mateihavenoidea @inactive-things @alondrashultz @femalemarvelself @queenthorin1 @haileymorelikestupid @jvdethirlwall @justtiredandvibing @winterfrostsarmy @themapoftinyperfectthings @littlebird101 @atzlena @httpslinow @arrowurboat @m-brekker @lifeandbandmembers-blog @adamcarlsenslvr @violet-19999 @seninjakitey @bestgirlpip @panic-in-the-multiverse @in-between-the-cafes @branolagar @bl6o6dy @annoyingmarvelreader @bee-a-cool-kid @buzzitsbeee @wintergirlsoilder2 @crow-carcass @you-bloody-shank @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @valiantphantomangel @50shadesofcrocs @rayrlupin @kingshitonly @brekkers-desigirl @hutaos-gh0st @kayane28 @nevaeh-jasso @lizlil @scarabgrant @luvxxee @certainchildmentality @yikesitskennawrites @alexisabirdie @zlatolait-writes

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powerpolyculeshowdown · 1 year

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scc fans: being cool having fun being dedicated sending fanart

yhk fans: tired dumpster rats writing ten page essays on yhk and how it works and WORDS

anyways more propaganda:

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR YHK (AND NOT BETRAY ME LIKE MY FRIEND (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE /lh)):

1. Reader/Protagonist/Writer dynamic, you literally cannot get more cosmic than that. they could not exist without each other. they need each other.

2. the dedication, devotion, gratitude, affection and love they show to each other. the acts of love they express. the fact that each and every action we keep talking about is CANON.

3. the many different flavours of their dynamics and how natural it is. they are cringefail losers, they look at each other and decide that they are forever stuck together. they are all so annoyed with each other, they all cannot leave each other. HSY IS THE BREADWINNER !!! YJH IS THE HOUSEHOLD HUSBAND !!!! KDJ IS JUST THERE AND THE OTHER TWO ARE JUST REALLY FUCKING HAPPY HES THERE !!!! THEY WOULD PROBABLY LET KDJ DO WHATEVER AS LONG AS HE WAS THERE AND NOT OFF DOING SOME BS SELF SACRIFICIAL PLAN !!!

4. the fact each of them have been so intrinsically affected by each other. none of them would have survived without the other two. all of them have been changed by each other.

5. they WANT each other. if one of them went off without any notice by god the other two will do everything they can to make sure that idiot comes home. it’s esp prevalent with the other two abt kdj. they WANT kdj. they want him safe and happy and WITH THEM. they see kdj trying to hide his flaws and trauma and they go “no. we’ve already seen all of it. we want everything. we want every part of you here and happy.”

6. the amount of trust they have with each other. the trust you would need to let someone go, to trust that they’ll come back and come back with the other idiot. the trust you’d have to have to be able to leave everything to the other, to trust that they are doing everything they can on their end. the trust they have that the others can handle themselves. how can you trust someone so much like this? how can you trust that they will follow through? how can you trust so much that you will wait however long it takes? how can someone even take that?

7. they are precious to each other. yjh needs the other two alive because they defy his expectations in ways he never realized could happen. hsy holds every memory she has of yjh and esp kdj close to her heart. kdj sincerely wishes for the happiness of yjh and hsy, he cares more abt their happiness than his own. (what he doesn’t realize is that their happy end involves his happiness too.) they mean so much to each other

8. they chose each other over the world. over themselves. they would hand over anything and everything to each other if needed.

9. “I realized something just then. I managed to get this far because these two lived on their own terms - respected my decisions in their own ways.

I began thinking; with these two around, maybe not all hope was lost, after all.”

10. they are capable of hitting each other on the head when they are reaching concerning levels of stupid. hsy literally crashes a yjh vs kdj fight just to make sure they wouldn’t actually kill each other. kdj breaks yjh out of his uncaring attitude. yjh and hsy would probably beat up kdj every time he went “hey i’m back” if they weren’t also mildly emotionally every time it’s happened.

11. what if my love language was sacrifice

12. kdj’s inner dialogue repeatedly describing yjh and hsy as attractive?? (some of his inner dialogue is peak pining like bro what are you doing 🤨???)

13. wasn’t there an arc where kdj intended to give hsy a love letter for a scenerio but yjh went “this is so bad” and also didn’t they in the same arc have this short scene where they talk abt novels and hsy wanting to write a novel later and discussing genres and then kdj FOR SOME REASON brings up romance?? and then they try to change the subject to jhw and lhs, like. y’all aren’t slick.

14. the book is literally about love and stories and loving stories and human connections and relationships and how stories facilitate connections. like. knowing that and knowing who yjh, hsy and kdj are. they are literally the pillars of the novel. they are so incredibly important to the story not only as individuals but also as a trio.

vote yhk i beg -Toon

im so sorry ur friend betrayed u 😔 all is fair in love war....

#ppspropaganda #long post

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that-was-anticlimactic · 1 year

Text

actually, no. you know what? i am so sick of this “marinette is just a friend” bs. okay. cool. adrien said she was just a friend a few times. whatever. it’s not that big of a deal and everyone in the mlb fandom like. hyperfixates on that??? idc if it’s a “just a joke” because it’s utterly ridiculous at this point. i have literally seen people go on heated rants about how stupid or clueless adrien was during the umbrella scene because he called mari just a friend. are you kidding me??? y’all are really going to take away that moment for him? he just made like his first ever friend in nino and when he called her a friend, he looked so excited because this boy has only ever had one friend before. of course he’s going to call mari just a friend because he just met her and the only time she’s actually spoken to him outside of the suit at this point is to yell at him like... y’all...

and this is not me hating on mari because i love her so so so much. i just hate how passionate and heated fans get about this. i mean... y’all... adrien didn’t even think mari liked him??? like, in puppeteer two, he is literally upset because he came to the conclusion that mari hates him. also, of course he’s not like in love with or crushing on her when she’s barely spoken actual sentences to him! again, not me hating on mari and her nerves because like i get it, it’s hard. and also this is like adrien’s first time interacting with people as peers, so 1. of course romance is not his main priority 2. he doesn’t understand social cues or situations very well At All which is made abundantly clear in the show 3. i don’t... i don’t think adrien knows what affection is??? i mean, he’s definitely learned some over the course of the show, but he’s used to a neglectful / abusive father, his stoic assistant, his bodyguard who doesn’t really talk like at all, chloé being chloé, and hoards of fans declaring that they’re in love with him, hanging all over him, acting like he’s a shiny thing rather than a person, etc... so like. how is adrien supposed to actually comprehend that mari likes him???

and okay no my last point: so so so sick of the double standard. i have seen countless people rant and rave and scream and shout about how stupid adrien is for not returning mari’s feelings or knowing he has a crush on her and then these same people will turn around and berate chat noir and say things like “gosh ladybug isn’t obligated to return his feelings:/” like... hELLO??? why is ladybug not obligated while adrien is??? it’s ridiculous and disgusting and i’m so so so tired of “just a friend” jokes on tumblr, in art, in fics, in youtube compilations... like... can’t we be normal about this? and i don’t mean normal as in “casually enjoy” i mean normal as in can we stop being so aggressive and harsh and hostile towards literal fourteen year olds my God they’re children they’re allowed to make mistakes and mess up and my God the way y’all talk about lila is disgusting, too like i hate her but i don’t want her tortured and killed??? and the way people characterize the classmates as physically and verbally assaulting mari because of lila??? like... my God they would never??? they would all honestly side with mari chameleon is a bad episode and is poorly written and everyone is out of character please use your critical thinking skills and understand that chat noir is not harassing ladybug anymore than mari may be harassing adrien (aka they are not harassing each other at all my God) and stop insulting and demonizing fourteen year olds so your otp can get together thanks

#i have. feelings.#sorry y'all #this may be harsh but i am so beyond sick of it #i've been going through the classmates tag on ao3 and filtered out all the s.alt fics for all the characters and the majority of the fics #i'm seeing are aggressive lila takedown fics or like unproperly tagged s.alt fics #where the classmates are still rude and aggressive and bully mari when even lila doesn't really bully mari that badly??? like yes it is #awful that she tried to get her expelled and lied a bit about her but lila has never been physical nor tried to kill mari and nor would any #of the classmates actually turn against her like. they may disagree with her or think she may be acting on her crush and yes lila did #threaten mari in the bathroom but like... what has she done since then? try to get her expelled and then... nothing. like. this is Not me #saying not to take bullying seriously but people take it to the extreme with lila and how she treats mari in fics and i am so so so sick of #it!!! i just want to read mlb classmate fics where they're all silly and being teenagers without mari being unreasonably and uncanonically #bullied and without the tags 'alya/adrien/classmate redemption' HELLO??? WHY DO THEY NEED TO BE REDEEMED??? THEY AREN'T VILLAINS??? THEY ARE #FOURTEEN??? as a rule of thumb i refuse to read fics with those tags like sorry but if you tag fics like that then you obviously don't know #the characters. i'm sorry if this sounds mean or harsh it's just exhausting trying to find fun or sweet or found family mlb fics because so #many of them are so negative and ooc and involve like extreme hatred towards fourteen year old fictional children... like... how do we not #see the problem with that??? like... am i overreacting??? please someone tell me they agree with me!!! i've been working on this really #stressful assignment that determines whether i graduate my future career and also costs three hundred dollars to take so i've been really #stressed and every time i try and take an mb fic break i end up more stressed because the fandom is so cruel to children ahhhhhhhh #okay i am. done. maybe i'll delete this later... i just need to see if someone agrees with me because i am. :))) on the verge of losing it #lol #mlb

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dulcewrites · 10 months

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I was thinking, that just after Laenora snaps at Rhaenys, she also addresses Show! Rhaenys' (because I love her book version that was 10000x better) self pity as Rhaenys never fought for her claim and yet has sacrificed her children for her ambition just like Corlys has done it, and that at least unlike Rhaenys, Laenora has fought and got what she wanted, and that she is going to give Driftmark to her nieces something that Rhaenys let go for the sake of her suck it up to the blacks husband and the blacks who were technically usurping Driftmark.

Like Rhaenys would realize Laenora is smarter than any other woman and even better than show Rhaenys.

I’m actually really interested in exploring the mother daughter relationship between them (I know I changed to name to Jocelyn after Rhaenys mother, but I have another name in mind now. But we will go with Jocelyn).

We see so many relationships in the show and I kind of feel like that link is missing between rhaenys and her kids. We don’t see her really parenting though like we do with Alicent or rhaenys. With I get bc they are more supporting characters. But I’d like to delve into that. She is hyper critical of the decisions being made around her but not listened to. So, what does that mean for her youngest daughter? Especially now that she’s lost two children already.

It’s funny bc corlys probably always found his youngest too passive for his taste. While I imagine rhaenys enjoyed the sensitivity or quietness Jocelyn had growing up. She was able to baby/connect with her in the way she maybe couldn’t fully with laena, who always seemed independent. Or laenor who struggled with things she couldn’t fully understand (his sexuality). Jocelyn was the child untouched by the scheming… till she wasn’t.

Jocelyn lashing out at rhaenys would be after years of watching her mother suffer silently in the way rhaenys criticizes others for. I think Jocelyn would be empathetic about being trapped in a system where you want to be empowered but quite literally can’t (she’s there too). And empathetic about her mother losing kids. But she’d be tired of the bs her family peddles.

Addressing those problems might make it easier for jocelyn to move forward with solo decisions versus her mother. I’ve said this before but I feel like rhaenys never fully healed from being passed over, mainly bc her husband didn’t let her forget. I think that led to stunting her growth in a lot of different spheres

#this turning less into a love story and more a story about mothers and daughter never escaping their fate #it might make the writing process easier for me #writing Aegon stories is so hard for me boo

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luckyqueenreign · 2 years

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Bestie I’m so tired! I played through todays release twice and it still pisses me off.

Johnny is truly a piece of shit. It’s so crazy how people who were in the villa on day one either have nothing to say or believe his blatant lies! Like, I JUST met him, why would I trust him to tell him anything?? Just plain stupid.

Kat is getting everything she deserves. If she didn’t cling to that man so hard and jump down his throat about every single thing then he wouldn’t be over there pining for me.

Gabi is still annoying to me. I’m never gonna like her. She’s clearly using Dana to stay close to Suresh. Just because I’m mad at him right now doesn’t mean she can have him.

Meera is a know nothing big mouth ass bitch. She’s constantly butting into things that have nothing to do with her and keeps on with her stupid little comments. I really wish I could just punch her in the mouth and get kicked off the show. It would 100% be worth it. I’ve never wanted to fight a game character more.

Alfie is really a little lap dog for his partner. Like, he’s just so happy to have someone that he’s turned into her bitch. That wack ass apology he gave because he couldn’t grow a pair and just say that they wouldn’t vote for me because I’ve done NOTHING to her.

Finn was the only one of the guys to really have my back when it came down to it and that really irritated me. Like, Alfie and Suresh let it be known in Casa that they both have feelings for me but you chose to keep silent while I got lied on?? Very sweet for Finn to cut Johnny’s bullshit AND back me in front of everyone and not just in a one on one. But he has stayed quiet through a lot of other unfair shit that MC has gone through and I don’t like that either.

Lulu is my favorite girl! How can she see the bs but the other girls are questioning me?? I definitely kissed her for the game both times. I’d love to see what’s gonna happen with her character.

*big dramatic sigh* Suresh…I don’t know about him at this point. All my other theories about him are out of the window. The NERVE to kiss Gabi in front of me!! And MARRY Meera like she hasn’t been coming for my head!! It’s complete nonsense. I don’t know why they’ve done this to his character but i hate it. Idk if it’s supposed to make us feel like Finn is the only one that gets us but it’s bullshit. You’re in a relationship with someone for over a year, come onto a dating show FOR them specifically, steady try to win them back and then all of a sudden crickets??? Make it make sense FB!! How can they change this man’s whole personality?! He was always an outspoken go getter and now all of a sudden he’s focusing on someone he has no spark with and kissing an old fling that was the cause of our breakup? BFFR. He was a flirt but he was never heartless. They are ruining him and I hope that Finn publicly saying that he wants me will kick his ass into gear. If not, I’m not sure how this will end. I’ll honestly have no LI and I’ll choose someone out of spite just to ruin their relationship for fucking with me.

This game is a health hazard.

bestie 😭😭😭😭i literally hate all of the bullying this SEASON not just these episodes. Theres really no need to make JoColas or Meera go same damn hard for us but they did. this is the first season with no perfect LI except maybe Lulu, she backed us from the start and she was so nice. re: Suresh...😩😩 here's my theory I really think everything he's doing is very intentional on FB's side. Even Alfie stans, I didn't realize it because I'm so focused on Suresh but look at who they chose for him to kiss, KAT...just like Suresh, Alfie has history with Kat and that kiss would've hurt MC a lot too. FB intentionally hurt us this week with Suresh and Alfie's choices to force Finn on us. Because think about it are you really going to listen to Finn's marriage proposal if you really actually wanted Suresh/Alfie and they proposed too? Nah you wouldn't.

#luckyqueenreignask

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hologramcowboy · 2 years

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To the anon who didn’t see an issue with the hooters video and said to touch grass: I was always told it’s not what you say it is how you say it that matters. There was nothing wrong with Jensen waving at the waitresses. I mean he was being polite it’s in his nature to be polite. However the way Danneel acted over it was messed up. The way she acted towards him was uncalled for period. It was very demeaning of her. We wouldn’t need a instance of her waving at waiters to say she is emotionally abusing him or making him feel insecure. Why wouldn’t we need a video like that? Well cause there are many examples of her being abusive towards him.

Example on her Instagram there is a photo where they are heading to the brewery. Jensen is eating gummy bears. In the caption she proceeds to say how many gummy bears are in the bag. She goes on to say how many her & the kids say while pointing out he basically ate the entire bag himself. Now if you had gummy bears especially Haribo gummy it’s hard to put the bag down. Now it may be just me but to me it seemed like she was shaming him(and not in a good way) for it. Another example the entire AD tour that there is self explanatory. She takes any shot at him she could during that.

A recent example now idk if this is true so I’m sorry if I am wrong. But anyway when he did his interview for the investigators for the Rust tragedy investigation he was reliving something that is hard for everyone to retell. But since he was a witness he had to tell investigators what he knows or saw. Someone said he mentions Danneel is scared of flying in a way to cover up while she wasn’t there to comfort him. Not sure the full details on that cause I heard it from people so it’s basically hearsay. But we all know that excuse is bs she has mentioned before how she used to fly all the time to meet him in Vancouver while he was filming Supernatural(before she was apparently no longer welcome on set to watch until she did her few episodes) before they had kids. Idk know why Jensen covered for her there. Maybe he was too hurt by her not being there that he wanted to try to excuse why. We all know she just didn’t want to be bothered by it. That there is messed up your husband is needing comfort after experiencing something that traumatized not only him but the entire crew(especially after finding out that same gun was supposed to be used in a scene with him) and you can’t be bothered to comfort him when he needs you the most?! That is messed up on so many levels and shows how little she cares about him.

If Tara was still around she would show many more receipts of Danneel. Being abusive towards Jensen. If anyone needs to “touch grass” as you say it is those who can’t see how she really is towards him. Yes in the beginning they seemed so in love and she actually seemed nice but as soon as that ring went on her finger her true colors came out. Their honeymoon phase was over before it started. So yes maybe Jensen shouldn’t have waved at the waitresses in front of her. But her actions towards him are inexcusable and just shows how toxic she really is towards him.

Sorry this is so long and I’m sure you are tired of getting asks about it. But I just needed to vent about it.

💕 Thank you, Anon. I found her moves to be very manipulative from the very beginning because she played the press to get more exposure and used Jensen to do so. Anyone remember the whole Ted ordeal? Who was Danneel even before that? 🤣 No one. So she leeches off Jensen and is someone only thanks to him and yet she demeans him at every turn. You provided some perfect examples but there are many other instances where she displayed contempt towards him and minimized him. So, to me, people who stan her are people who are incapable of loving Jensen because they focus on his as an object not as a person. Because if they truly loved him they couldn't possibly support a woman who devalues him on a constant basis. People who make light of devaluing need to do their research and learn the psychological implications of it.

#anti danneel

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thetallkiwi · 2 years

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Me ranting about placements in my birth chart because why not? (Pt.2)

OKAYYY i have time today lol. I’m procrastinating so it’s all good. I have already made a part 1 which your beautiful self can find down below

Moving on let’s goooooo! (Warning: mentions abuse and cuss words)

1). I last left off with moon trine saturn. Now, you may think that this is a good aspect since it’s a trine, but not really. I will say, the lessons for what saturn is trying to teach you via the aspects, will be slightly easier. As you know, the moon reps the mom and emotions, and saturn reps karma, discipline, RESTRICTION especially. Wherever saturn lays in your birthchart, is where you will have restriction and will have to work hard to achieve. The aspects saturn makes/that are made to saturn are your guides in helping you heal your saturn placement. So this aspect is basically saying that…I am…apathetic to a certain extent. It makes sense. I don’t cry easily and if I do cry, I don’t do it for long. I’m emotionally guarded even against myself. I try to have compassion and step in other people’s shoes. On another note, this makes me emotionally intelligent and less likely to act off of feelings (but as a 8th house moon it creates a struggle of wanting to be petty af towards someone if they did me wrong vs leaving them alone and maturing.) so there’s a lesson in learning how to allow myself to feel emotions and not see them as the enemy, but a release. A friend that helps destress.

2). Sun square Midheaven:

UGGHHHHHH bruh my sun literally squares EVERYTHING except my mars. I fucking hate it. This is actually a pretty good placement to have because it means that I have ambition and will be willing to work for my goals. This is a very draining placement. I have all this ambition and it can easily go to waste. I try my best to make the best of it and results do come from the hard work i put in too. This placement can also make you confused about what you wanna do, but once you know what it does, you have all the willpower and natural energy reserves to bring forth results. I am still new to the manifesting community and honestly I would say that people with this aspect would do well in manifesting since you will also put in your side of the bargain with the universe/God/higer power. Now even if you don’t have this aspect don’t think you aren’t good at manifesting. You are. It’s all in your head, literally.

3). Moon septile mars:

Septiles are a “minor” aspect and you’ll rarely see any other astrologers use septile in a sentence, if you’re lucky. But having this placement can make someone EXTRA. Like you try to be calm then 5 mins later you’re on crack again being loud and dramatic and shit.

4). Pluto-Lilith Aspects:

People who have these aspects tend to hanve an intimidating aura and gaze. I have pluto trine lilith and there has been some people tell me that i had a death stare back at where I used to work. Seriously, we hold a LOT of power when it comes to this aspect. Lilith is like a weird shocking mixture of uranus and pluto so with that being said…we shock people and intimidate them so easily. I promise we’re like the nicest people on earth just look past our big bad exterior 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

5). Scorpio, 9th house:

Bruh Scorpio in the ninth house is teachers not liking you. At. All. I’m so done with school. I remember I was in fifth grade and I ended up with sand in my pants (because some stupid ass kid wanted to play a prank on me and poured a shoe full of sand down my pants) and I told my teacher when we got to class(this was after recess) and I asked her if I can go to the bathroom. She pulled me outside, gave me a verbal warning and then let me go. The teacher didn’t do shit. I genuinely don’t like teachers. Another experience happened where me and a teacher cussed each other out because i called her out on her BS (the class was tired of her and she was one of the most hated teachers throughout the school). I am in college now and it is better but those memories will hold on to you forever. Scorpio in your ninth house is legit no joke. If you have this placement y’all stay safe lol.

Additionally, having Scorpio on your ninth hoise means that you learn from those people with scorpio placements specifically. You have to learn how to face the intensity of your darkness which will be mirrored through these people. You have no choice if you want to heal yourself and upgrade you. It’s uncomfortable but it’s worthy.

6). Taurus, 3rd house, 18 degrees:

Now, you may think that having Taurus in the third house is all willy nilly but noooooo. Let me remind you Taurus is the sister sign of Scorpio and when we speak our words carry a presence (with the blessing of a sweet sounding voice). So don’t be surprised if you know someone with this placement and they can cause people to double back on their words. The 18 degrees also adds on to it. It’s not so much of a “killer degree.” But it tests people. I have been told that I have a way with words where people have to literally sit down and think about what I said. This placement is capable of stirring the pot in others when trying to set boundaries or being serious. Do not mistake a Taurus third house for something nice. Not only that, Taurus is a fixed sign, so i will stand steadfast on my word. This placement is a bit of a transformation placement where the words literally “test” other people. What they believe in, what they stand on, etc. It’s a blessing to have this placement. It practically translates to “come correct or don’t come at all.”

7). Sun semi-square venus:

This is a bit of a funny placement. People will not have a reason to like you, and they’re surprised at the fact that they even like you in the first place. Like they will find themselves actually contemplating on why they’re here with you, how did they even know you in the first place, etc.

8). People who have mars-pluto aspects literally *recognize* each other. I already mentioned my mars-pluto aspect. My soulmate, she also has the same aspect, and lord when we’re crossed we wreak havoc on people. But God forbid that we go against each other. I’m not gonna even ignore the fact that we can literally hold grudges against people and then act like we don’t 🤦🏾‍♀️. But my boyfriend also has mars sextile pluto in his chart ahaha. We recognize each other so much.

9). Mercury in Libra:

Okayyy so this is very…it’s different for everyone who has the placement but for the love of God so help me father—why is it so easy being indecisive??? You ask me the most simple question that involves choices and i am already contemplating the meaning of life trying to come up with an answer. Here’s how my thought process goes (oh yeah, it’s also at 12°, so this is a literal indecisive placement):

Boyfriend: do we wanna eat at Taco Bell or McDonald’s?

Me: Ummm…whichever one you’re down for i am down for.

Boyfriend: I know but i can’t decide so I am asking you.

Me: *stares at him for a literal five fucking minutes trying to balance the pros and cons of each restaurant and thinking about their menus.*

Boyfriend: 😐😑😐🤨…why are you just staring at me?

Me: *zones back in* my apologies. We can go to Taco Bell.

Boyfriend: took you long enough 😐😩 let’s go!🥳

See? It is a great struggle when encountering questions like this. The only upside to this placement is that I can mediate situations pretty easily and I can speak in a way that incorporates professionalism.

10). Moon conjunct venus:

We have a soft spot for those we love. Like you cannot do no wrong in my eyes. I genuinely love you appreciate you and your existence. Can also mean mom probably had a strong influence over our money and aesthetic at one point. This is can also come off as a people pleasing placement. Overall it’s lovely to an extent. As long as you don’t drain yourselves trying to love the other person.

I hope you guys enjoyed this and please don’t let this flop like my other posts 😩

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lightlycareless · 2 years

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Chapter 23 - thoughts.

Hello everyone one!

As promised, here are the behind the scenes of the latest chapter! Chapter 23.

Now, I think it goes without saying that this will be filled with spoilers, so if you haven’t read that chapter be sure to do so! Unless you want spoilers, it’s ok. We all have free will hehe

Now, without further ado, here are by thoughts behind this chapter!

This chapter was basically me trying the loose ends around the estate; so, to make things easier, I think I’m going to break it down by characters, starting with:

Mai and Maki.

Well, I think I have to admit that I wanted them back—actually, we all wanted, right??? They were too cute and the way their relationship with Y/N was like 😭 So it didn’t feel right leaving it just like that.

There are many things that I initially intended for this to happen, starting by Naoaki being the one behind the reunion. But then I was like nah, I think it’ll have a better impact if it’s them directly, you know? Besides, I can’t give him ALL the wins lol. (a bit more realistic I think as well)

And I also intended their relationship with Junko, their mother, to be a bit darker. Example: Junko slapping Maki (although it would be stated that it was only to immediately place them back in their place, and avoiding their father getting involved) but nope. I don’t want that either. I’m like—I don’t need angst coming from my favorite members of the Zen’in clan. They deserve to be happy; nonetheless, it wouldn’t be all smooth sailing, you know?

The twins not giving up was super wholesome; and something I enjoyed writing. Y/N and Mai—Maki are such a sweet friendship 😭 I wasn’t going to give up on it. But I can also imagine how tiring it is, after all, kids can be a bit… well, they never seem to stop lol. Nonetheless, they care for each other very much 🥺❤

Now, onto Junko.

Junko and Y/N is a relationship that has still much more to explore? I think so, considering she hasn’t really opened up to Y/N (and reasonably so, she’s still like baffled with this modern woman and the fact that she’s Naoya’s wife lol) I mean, she somewhat accepted Y/N efforts to be grateful because she was kind of forced to lol but she was still thankful to accept the gesture anyways 😭 she deserved better, I hope to make her happy lol.

Also, her going on with the twins like: “I’ll tell your father about this!” Reminds me of Draco Malfoy so much hahahah, of course, with other wording, but still the same (somewhat) sentiment.

The servants.

So, I gotta say, the servants’ reactions were something that I wanted to do from the very beginning; having the whole estate against you must be terrible, and adding the staff—oof. However, I always imagined the staff to be like that simply because they’re riding the wave of whatever it is the masters are doing; however, they feel misrepresented so I guess it was obvious that seeing one of their masters or higher-ups defend them as like WoAH; I mean, I don’t think Junko would’ve stepped in, Tomoko might’ve tried—but she has a whole circus of children to take care of, so I don’t think she could either. She kind of just allowed things to flow.

Y/N coming to stand up for them was like a breath of fresh air, kind of natural that they would react like that. Not all of them of course, but some. Such is the power of endless possibilities but Y/N is not buying it (and doesn't know either); so it’s like a one-sided thing ahahah

Mariya

I GAGGED WHEN WRITING THIS and I also crying on her scene during the night, but let’s start with her paramour hhahahaha

I wanted to write this for the longest—Mariya is like my favorite OC and I just wanted to explore more of her, and somehow, it always struck me that she’d be dating someone secretly, you know? And you’d think BUT HOW since she’s just a workaholic i-gotta-do-what-i-gotta-do no BS person, respecting the rules and so, right? Because that’s what she always did.

But she has an edge, and that was this one hahaha. She deserved to be selfish—thus, Tatsuro came into scene. And idk, I always thought she’d have a secret lover hahaha Also, there’s a reference in their names, I hope someone gets it 🥺

Now, moving on to the scene during the night. In a way, it was kinda good that it happened—I can say that Mariya was looking for a moment (or always has) to get to speak to Y/N and just clear everything up, and this was the perfect awkward excuse. However, she never expected Y/N to understand her; I mean, they had conflicts before but this opening up between the two was… ah, so good.

It really hurt me to see them not get along; but at the same time, I wanted to have this kind of relationship with the MC and their best friend, not to generalize, but I always see the MC already having a good friendship with the one that is supposed to be their best friend from the very beginning and I wanted to try something different. As well as to get a bit of backstory on her and what she thought of Y/N when she started working with her and whatnot. As well as a bit of Haruko and Hitomi as well.

In the end, this scene was like very emotional for me and I’m glad they finally made up; I’m excited to explore more of their newly acquired friendship :3

And finally, the thing that shocked the most (even me when writing it), Naoaki.

I just let the scene flow and things happened, you know? Idk if anyone saw it coming and if you did, I hope I didn’t disappoint hahahah the whole thing was super sweet.

Also, I think allot of people interpreted Y/N confessing to wanting to kiss him like, literally out of affection, but it was more of like a cuteness overload of wanting to kiss him to say thank you and nothing else (I hope I make sense, that’s how I’ve seen the sentence be used—in other words, platonic) and then Naoaki replied with “well, if you want to” and that’s when the whole thing changed it’s meaning. (I CANT FIND THE REFERENCE but if you’ve seen miraculous ladybug it’s that scene were Luka and Marinette are at the movie theater and they’re guessing stuff, Marinette then screams something among the lines of KISS ME and Luka is like well, if that’s what you want I literally gagged)

I think I did a good job trying to plant the seeds here and there?? Naoaki always thought of Y/N as beautiful/pretty, and the rest of his brothers too; but he’s the one that got to know her a bit more hehe.

I guess what I mean to say is that Y/N and Naoaki found solace in each other. And… well, things started to happen naturally.

Now the scene I knew some would gag with was his conversation about her, Naoya, and what he was trying to imply lol It was to show these three things:

How comfortable he is with Y/N, to the point of just saying shit without thinking lol. After all, they’re still getting to know each other in a way so he still has to figure out what things he doesn’t like about Y/N.

Second, the misogyny in the estate and how it affects him. Even if one is aware of the surroundings we grew in, there are things that still influence our way of thinking, and I believe Naoaki portrayed that here (as well as being conscious to how Naoya is affected by it)

Let’s get him off that pedestal and make him realistic lol as I said, he can’t be winning all the time lmao. But he good.

Finally, the end scene. Some people believed they were going to get exposed, but I think not. The night shift is like super calm, nothing ever happens, so I doubt anyone was going to notice anything. Besides, who is gonna be standing guard at the living quarters??? Also, Naoaki knows what he doing, so no worries.

Or as well how weird it was for him to like, seek her out at night? But I always intended it to be some kind of inner joke on how he prefers to reach out for people at night (remember that scene with kid Naoya?) And yet, here I am… thinking it was sweet. Well, I think it’s sweet because of the relationship we saw flourish between Y/N and Naoaki—had it been anyone else well damn I’d be like Uhhh Security???

Now, the elephant in the room: Y/N’s admittance of wanting to marry him, a.k.a starting to realize she kinda likes him more than just a friend. Sure, she felt attracted to him from time to time, but it was always intended to be a joke, you know? I think we’ve daydreamed the things she has in a way, but doesn’t mean we want something serious with that person.

But now… well, I don’t think it’s a joke anymore hehe the first sprout of her newfound feelings is appearing—HOWEVER, there’s another thing that I think I didn’t do a good job writing and I want to clarify… which was…

Y/N never admitted out loud that she wants to marry him. It was all in her mind, mainly because she was just coming to the realization and she didn’t want to admit it out loud, since she doesn’t know if Naoaki feels anything for her (and she’s one to take care of her words, always thinking on not making uncomfortable ever since he told her his background) sure, he’s complimented her many times but most of the time she’s just like… are you making fun of me?!

But putting that aside… it’s safe to say… just enjoy this moment as what it is: something sweet 😊

Well, I think that’s all I wanted to say about this chapter. Just more insight in what I wanted to portray; I’m really excited for what’s to come!!! I hope I don’t disappoint. I’m just out here living my fantasy. (Also, do you guys like these kinds of posts? I hope I’m not spoiling anything and just giving you a better explanation… if not, I’ll stop 😭)

As always, if there’s any questions regarding this chapter, or the others, be sure to let me know! I love explaining my work hehehe and it gets me excited to see that others do.

Thank you so much, and hope to see you around! Take care 🥰!

#thought series: first it hurts—

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clunelover · 8 months

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1. I’m being a really good wife and planning to not harangue Jeremy for, as far as I can see via bank account, paying for multiple meals out with his family (specifically, amounts make it look like he paid for everyone). My anger is not about the money, it’s about the idea that his mom would hear that her son is out of a job and then let him pay for a bunch of stuff. But - that money is gone. The trip is ending. It was a unique circumstance that will not continue (I mean - if he came home and started wining and dining other people, we’d have words, but I know that’s not going to happen). There would be no way I can discuss it without turning it into just “your mom sucks,” so I’m not gonna! Oh plus I mean she did cook some dinners for them, so maybe I’m just so primed to hate her that I’m not seeing that maybe this is cool? All I know is, it’s different than my parents (the good ones at least) would handle it if I had lost my job and was visiting! They’d pay for everything or, if they didn’t have money, we’d just eat all meals at home.

2. As I’ve discussed here, I’ve long thought I have ADHD. Multiple psychiatrists have said no, it’s just anxiety and/or hypomania that presents similarly. I really disagreed, but finally got the in depth neuropsych exam which confirmed this. They said that my trauma and anxiety can coalesce into very similar presentation. Jeremy and BFF have both maintained “that’s BS, you’re just a good test taker, you so clearly have it.” I tried to just accept it, because like - the buck kind of stops there and I don’t want to alarm my providers by appearing to diagnosis shop? Jeremy often encourages me to just try his Adderall (he doesn’t take it every day so there’s sometimes some extra) but I’ve been nervous to do it cause what if it makes me too on edge and jittery and then I waste a day feeling shitty and not getting stuff done? So I decided that today, home alone with no obligations but also some stuff I would like to focus on, I’ll try it.

I took it a little over an hour ago, and so far: calm but also sleepy. It’s like it shut my brain up enough to see what I really am: tired. Would like to go back to bed more than try to focus on writing or laundry but I know I need to test it out on something for which I need focus.

It’s extended release though so maybe I will try to take a nap quick and then do that. What does this mean? I think if it makes me chill rather than energized, that’s a check in the “could be ADHD” column? But also, if it just makes me want a nap, that wouldn’t be something useful for day to day, eh?

It is pretty rad though experiencing a quiet mind. Like, only one, or at most a small handful, of thoughts at a time? Not something I am used to.

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reasonably-annoyed-fog · 1 year

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I saw this post about ASOIAF, and I don’t read the books and haven’t seen the show, but what I found interesting was the discussion about wether or not a character actually enjoyed sewing, as was largely understood, or was merely good at it.

this made me think a little about how we percieve “female” and “male” activities. Like the idea that when a woman sews, she must enjoy it, especially in a setting like your usual fantasy novel where H&M doesn’t exist.

My grandparents both knew how to sew. My grandmother earned her money with it. My grandfather was in the military, where it was expected that he look presentable. He told me that every soldier was in possession of a little sewing kitt, knew how to iron clothes, and had at least rudimentary cooking skills. I grew up thinking of these things as Basic Life Skills regardless of gender. Of course there’s an art to it, if you’re good. But when my grandmother took me aside at the age of eight to tech me how to darn socks and some basic sewing techniques it was for practical reasons, maybe so I could make it a hobby later if I wanted to, but at most I should be able to fix my clothes when they got holes in them or lost a button.

years later, I got a second hand coat and descided I didn’t like the collar, so I changed it. I hated every second of it because the fabric was too thick and I didn’t have the right needle. But I wanted a different collar, so I suffered trough it. I’m glad that I have the skills that I do, but when I have something that needs some tailoring and I know I can do it my first thought is ofthen “yeah I think I can do this” followed by “uuuuugh this is gonna be *such a hassle*”

I’m not sure what my point is. Maybe we need to move certain discussions from “feminine skills are good and cool actually” to “there’s actually nothing inherently gendered about any of these skills” I mean look at cooking! Look at how professional cooking is a field dominated by men, look at how one of the most famous cooking scene in literature/movies shows a man cooking, Samwise Gamgee, and it appears he’s quite competent at it (insert tangent about how LotR was written by a man who had been a soldier in WWII. Of course Sam knows what to do with a potato!)

This isn’t to critisize any books where women do these things, but to maybe redirect the perspective? Like, why does the tomboy have to be bad at sewing to be a tomboy? what does that prove? (again, not talking about ASOIAF specifically, just that this is A Thing in media and I’m longing for some variety)

It’s just. a weird way of looking at it. When a character is shown to know how to change a tire we don’t go “oh they must really enjoy changing tires” We do take it as an affirmation of how they present their gender, which is also bs, but we don’t assume changing tires is super fulfilling to them. It’s a means to an end. Someone’s gotta change the tire! “Why does this character sew so much when they said they hated it?” it’s cause they want clothes! it’s 1508 and if you want a kickass new outfit at a reasonable price you gotta make it yourself. you wanna hang something nice on your shitty wall? You better learn how to embroider bitch! you have very specific wishes as to how your wedding dress should look like? oh boy I sure hope your tailoring skills are up for it. your wife died and you and your 14 sons are hungry? Guess it’s cook or die, asshole. idk AM I making any sense here?

#longish post

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alyjojo · 1 year

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Family Ties 🪢 - November 2022 - Gemini

Overall Energy: Knight of Wands

Your relationship with your family as a whole is described as very in and out. Sometimes you’re around, sometimes you’re not, or the same can be said for them. As soon as they come in, they leave. It’s a very fiery, spontaneous and action taking energy, but an unreliable one, and burns out quickly. When you’re around them, it’s not for long. Justice clarifying this card shows that if you’re the one that’s in and out, it’s for a good reason and you’re justified in being this way. If it’s them, Justice could be you cutting them out for the most part because you know it’s bs and you’re tired of the routine, are they in or are they out? You could feel tired of the casual pop ins, but the rest of the time they aren’t around.

Mother: The Star & 8 Swords

Mom is the deepest connection here. There is not one cup in this reading so far except where Mom is concerned, and even so there’s been a recent reconnecting between you. Meaning there was a period with no communication, a harsh conflict and a fallout to follow with all of these swords here. Your mom could have strong Aquarius placements. For your ancestor message, you’ve got King of Swords, which is either someone on Mom’s side, or a message regarding her. She or both of you are healing the connection and whatever harsh or petty words and actions that have taken place between you before. This could be because of the upcoming holidays, and 8 Swords could show you only doing this because you feel you have no other choice, again with Knight of Wands hopping in for a hot minute and leaving again. It could also be genuine, at least with her, and there are things about this relationship that make you feel helpless, they can’t change, and there’s nothing you can do but pop in and leave.

Father: Ace of Pentacles & The Hermit

It took a very long time to even get cards for the father, and there was no energy at all for him, I’m going to assume this is a person that’s M.I.A. Maybe not always, 10 Cups shows up as something that once existed but they left this behind and chose not to keep. Or something’s happened… The Tower shows them doing something that was drastic and shocking to the rest of the family, or may have been involved in a shocking event…only you would know 🙏 You know him as a loner with money, or if he’s ever been involved it’s simply for money, maybe paying child support. It’s also possible he left and didn’t even do that much. There’s nothing too positive here with him. In your experience, he’s the Knight of Wands.

Siblings: The World & Justice rev

There’s no real relationship with siblings, it’s a situation you find to be unfair. You have Justice upright and they have Justice reversed, again a note from Spirit giving you some validation in whatever conflicts you’ve handled with your family. It’s possible your father had a new family and had other children or step children that you have little to no contact with. It could also be them that feels it’s unfair. The World is a finality, the cycle described is done and over with, but they or you aren’t happy with whatever was the outcome. 10 Wands shows a feeling of being heavily burdened. It could be either or both of you feeling for many reasons, the relationship between you or perhaps you’ve been kept separate and it’s always been that way. If you don’t feel it’s unfair, they do.

Grandparents: Strength & 3 Pentacles

I got a similar energy (slim to nothing basically) as Dad with these grandparents, so I assume this is his side. There’s little to no relationship with them either. They held back from working with you, and possibly your mother, because they were/are very judgmental of your home and where you live possibly. Home comes up again later too. They’re also worried about themselves and the stable relationships in their own home, probably regarding your father and/or anyone he’s involved with these days. They don’t want to tread on any toes, and just the thought of it really stresses them out and upsets them. If you’ve caused some sort of chaos within the home, then it’s that they’re so worried about, or it’s whoever could. Possibly your mother, father, whoever. 9 Swords is being so upset and stressed you can’t even sleep at night, so whatever happened within this home has really upset them. Or they are worried about your home & stability in some way. If you’ve struggled, they know it, but do nothing.

Spiritual Ancestors: King of Swords, 4 Wands & Page of Wands

It’s possible you’ve fallen on hard times in regards to a home, because that theme continues here. If you’ve moved back in with Mom, it’s necessary and you’ll be able to heal the connection between you. Knight of Wands again, you probably won’t be there for very long so to focus on healing would be the best thing. If not actually living there, then this is a message telling you to use your mind over your emotions when it comes to your family dynamic and the heated feelings & passionate responses or messages you may go back and forth with. You could be a person that claps back spontaneously and, going by Mom’s side, those words or actions come out as harsh and petty, which wound her and the connection overall. Or that’s switched. Ace of Swords clarifies, clear & transparent honesty and communication are the key to healing the rifts between you, or any other situation you feel need healing. Mom seems to be the focus, and you do have Justice on your side 💯

#gemini tarot reading #family ties #november 2022 #Gemini #tarot

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lamarkeu · 2 years

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Episode Summary: We meet Soonyoung, our final Superman for episode 2 as he tries to tire out his triplets.

Genre: Fluff

Masterlist for SVTTROS Series

Italics: Narrators Boo Seungkwan (BS) and Lee Minhyuk (LM)

Bold: Staff

Regular: What family member says / what camera films during the show

🎶 Listen To: Phonecert by 10cm 🎶

LM: The Return of Superman, “Growing Pains” Part 3

BS: Hello wide open spaces and an open yard, this Superman spends most of his free time in this modern Hanok style house just outside of the city.

LM: The rustic, stained wood accents are found all throughout the house as well as the toys that cover every inch of the sun room.

BS: It provides almost a path towards the backyard.

LM: Which is quite huge if I do say so myself, they even made use of the space with a patio, garden and gazebo.

Soonyoung pushes away the large amount of sweat that seemed to form after wearing a cap. He attempts to cover his eyes while trying to avoid bumping into the cameras.

The sound of whispers could be heard within a foot radius, causing the cameras scattered amongst the trees and bushes of the backyard to turn. Three little heads can be seen peeking out from a large tree closer to the back fence.

LM: Their little round faces are so adorable.

Soonyoung slowly creeps towards the back trees, before yelling “I found you!”

“Appa!” One of them exhales loudly in disbelief. It was obvious to Soonyoung that Taeyoung didn’t expect to be found so quickly.

Miyoung joins in by complaining loudly, “That’s not fair.” Her pigtails bounce around as she turns to face her brothers. “I told Jinyoung and you to hide somewhere else.”

“I was here first.” Jinyoung timidly answers as the three walk away from the tree.

Soonyoung can’t help but laugh at his little mini-me’s. Before things escalate too fast he attempts to re-engage their focus elsewhere. “Don't fight, if you guys want to try again we can do another round. How does that sound?”

BS: Our new Superman is a full time dad of triplets that is known for shaking the stage. Everyone say hello to our performance team leader, Kwon Soonyoung!

LM: Soonyoung-shi! Welcome to the show. If your life is anything like the time me and my daughters came over, I’m sure you’ll have no problem gaining the hearts of our viewers.

The sound of a familiar ringtone breaks any tension between the trio, as they begin to tug on their dad’s shirt. Soonyoung on the other hand is smiling way too wide at the ID on his phone to even notice.

BS: This means that his partner is none other than internationally acclaimed comedian and actress, Y/N L/N.

“Hi. Taeyong-ah, Jinyoung-ah, Miyoung-ah. How are my babies?” Soonyoung crouches down to their height in order to see the face that belonged to a high, soft spoken, baby voice.

“Eomma misses you all very much. I should be home by tomorrow evening. Can’t wait to hold you and give you kisses again.” Miyoung practically sings in her sweet voice.

“Me too!” Taeyoung chimes in beside his sister.

Lastly Jinyoung pushes past his siblings to share a quiet “I love you Eomma.”

“Yeobbo,” Soonyoung pouts. It was evident in his face that he wanted your attention. Before you can even let out a response, Miyoung takes the phone out of his hand and hangs up. The two laugh at their sisters antics, their father's mouth left open in disbelief.

“What time is it?” Soonyoung yells towards the camera as if he were performing at a stadium.

You and the little ones can’t help but giggle at their father, proudly yelling, “10:10!”

“Hello everyone my name is Kwon Soonyoung but you might know me as Seventeen’s performance leader, Hoshi. My kids Taeyoung, Jinyoung, and Miyoung on the other hand know me as appa.”

“And I’m their mother Kwon Y/N.”

How did you two meet?

Soonyoung chuckled as all the memories flooded back, “I’m glad this was brought up. There have been so many rumours about how we met.”

Looking at the director who asked the question, “We knew about each other for a long time.” You turn to see your husband's face all flush as you go on. “Our mutual friends would always tell me how I’d get along with Soonyoung. I really did want to meet him but our schedules almost never aligned.”

“It wasn’t until Mingyu’s wife tricked us into going on a blind date that we had time to meet one another.” He continued, his smile getting wider as he spoke.

“We walked around the zoo together and then ate at one of their animal themed cafes.” A rather loud laugh escaped your lips as Soonyoung went into detail.

“When she picked out the tiger themed one I instantly knew I wanted to marry her.”

What was it like for you guys when the two of you started dating in the public eye?

Soonyoung takes a moment to adjust himself after two of the twins start falling asleep against his chest. You went ahead and answered to the best of your ability replying, “I was actually more open than Youngie was to revealing our relationship, I didn’t want my comedic sets and other acting jobs to affect his career or vice versa.”

Just as you turned to your husband you noticed a piece of his hair out of place. With your free hand you tuck it behind his ear while balancing the other. You swear he had seen the moon, the sun and all the stars in your eyes as he spoke. “It was a matter of if I wanted to share this part of me to the world.” He exhales the breath he had been holding in, speaking comfortably when he intertwined his hand in yours. “Y/N loves to laugh off the hate she receives even if it really digs into her in hurtful ways. As her fiancé, I wanted to shield her away from all the negativity.”

“I don’t think I would've been happy being kept away,” you reassured the viewers, “There's no need to hide something as beautiful and as special as love.”

How did you react to finding out you were expecting triplets?

“I honestly think our fans were more shocked then we were.” Soonyoung walks back in after putting the triplets down for a nap, you calmly and quietly continue speaking to the camera. “We got together later than most people our age so I struggled getting pregnant for a while. After a few attempts and no results we decided to consult with our doctor who suggested IVF.”

“For those of you who don’t know, IVF has the tendency to produce multiple pregnancies. It’s almost 40% more likely than a natural birth.” Soonyoung says enthusiastically, “Y/N and I definitely knew that possibility but it didn’t really become real to us until we saw it on the ultrasound.”

“Soonyoung cried for a good hour or so after that appointment. The only time he cried more than that was when I went into labor.”

“You were having a hard time pushing because Minyoung came out first. How could I not react?”

“She was blessed with a big head just like the two of us.” You try your best to lighten the mood, knowing how much he hated looking back on your pain. “Aside from the initial struggles of birth we’ve been so lucky that our children are so well behaved. So taking care of them has been easier for us than most parents.”

Would you want more kids?

“Yes,” Soonyoung smiles sheepishly.

“We’ve always dreamed of having a big family.” You explain to the viewers “Obviously not right now given the size of our house but later down the line when we move out and the kids start kindergarten I wouldn’t mind trying again.”

Do you have anything you’d like to say to the viewers of Return of Superman?

“I hope we can provide you with laughter and happiness when you watch our daily antics.”

You follow suit, bowing politely, “Please love my family.” Sticking your neck out more, you direct your attention to the staff behind the camera, as they work away at audio, “I’m sorry in advance if my husband and children are very loud, I hope that doesn’t make your job difficult. If there's any trouble please let me know. Thank you.”.

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen #seventeen series #lamarkeu series #dad!svt #TROS #TROSSVT #lamarkeu ros #seventeen reactions #seventeen requests

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