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#Do you see were am coming from
So would RebelxDread be considered like. Reverse Knuxouge or-
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sharkylad · 16 days
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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naamahdarling · 2 days
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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kataracy · 2 months
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Kataang Week 2024 DAY 1 // Cultural Sharing
“I’m nervous. Am I doing okay?”
“You’re doing amazing Sweetie.”
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alluralater · 4 months
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reminder that people who enable/do nothing when it comes to acts of sexual harassment are basically just as awful as the aggressors. they normalize, justify, and regularly excuse those behaviors and sweep it under the rug. who you decide to call a friend does in fact reflect on you. if you're happy to be around people that engage in predatory behavior and you perceive a clear pattern of it yet do nothing about it, then i'm literally never talking to you again. that goes double for people on here where there's this strange idea that there are no consequences in an online space. there are. damaging other people by staying silent or sitting on the fence when you have the power to do something is a consequence and that shit comes back around ten fold to you. you'd deserve every bit of it. dangerous by association is a thing, and you are.
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front-facing-pokemon · 3 months
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#gross. gross! i do not like this thing. two alternate angles under the cut for those of you who like this thing because i am about to tear#into it so hard. ahem#enamorus#this thing is ugly as fuck. all of the genies were already ugly as fuck and now this thing only makes that worse. all of their therian form#were like MILDLY better but this one takes that trend and just throws it out the window#like the anteater nose is FUNNY especially on a legendary but LORD DON'T MAKE ME LOOK AT IT#not to mention its boss fight taking place in the fucking SWAMP with all the SLOWY WATER#and it just ZOOMS AROUND AND TELEPORTS if i remember correctly#like the LAST fuckin pokémon in the pokédex you can catch and it looks like THIS??? why did we need another genie. what#i understand the trend in gen 8 where they kept adding new legendaries to already established like. groups. like regieleki and regidrago#but THIS group is one that DID NOT NEED ONE#like i can see the additions to the regis!!! they're cool additions and really modernize the trio into a quintet!! but this is just RIDICUL#sorry tumblr cut me off there. this is just RIDICULOUS#ooouuhhhuhuhuh all the other genies are buff men with beards but this one's a laaaady bc it's pink!! and fairy-type!!! and small!! a#NO!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T NEED IT!!!!!! PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME!!!!#it's literally like. the last pokémon in gen 9. i'm gonna have to start worrying about gen 9 models RIGHT after this#teechnically. i'm actually queuing this thing up before i'm done with all the hisuian forms so i have a bit of time#but it'll Look like it comes last in the queue right before gen 9#here's praying i have something figured out by then? but i doubt it because i've just started a new job#and that's probably gonna be taking a lot of my time until then
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deoidesign · 8 days
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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lucid-daydreaming-art · 4 months
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this is like the third time ive had to post something like this but you guys need to stop treating unodum like a celebrity or fangirl over him or act like its some sort of gift to be talked to by him or especially treat his friends weirdly because they talk to him regularly. ive gotten word that his friends are being treated as special just because they have connections to him and being asked to like say stuff to him or whatever??? which is legitimately very very gross behavior. cause its not only really uncomfortable for uno but it gets very awkward and uncomfortable for me and his friends. im aware my popularity in the regretevator fandom is largely because im associated with him and in all honesty from the START that concept has made me pretty upset. neither me nor his other friends want to be seen as special just because we’re close to him. its part of why i didnt make much outside of the blog AND why i just abandoned the blog and the fandom altogether. i think a lot of you guys are a younger audience and are still learning internet etiquette and social boundaries, but this needs to be a lesson in how NOT to treat others on the internet, especially content creators. this isnt to say dont attempt to build friendships with people you think are cool and feel like you have things in common with, but you cant go into that with the mindset of “i worship you notice me.” you need to understand that no matter how popular your favorite creator is, theyre literally just a person. thats it. just a person. not a god, not a character, just a person. im really fed up
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do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.
#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral#the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation#the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart#AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE#five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home#then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles#perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals....#going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back#he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better#and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see#THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING#absolutely unprompted#the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life#god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year?#is it year eight of having them? year nine?#one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive#the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much#he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest#he sleeps on my ribs <3#the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions#and fuck... he's really changed with me huh??#his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years#like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in#we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk#i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs...#my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3#maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait#his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery#god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me#he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3
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third-doctor · 4 months
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I feel like I'm going insane. That episode read to me as a lot more tragic than other people are reading it. Yeah they were racist and rich and spoiled and awful but they were just kids. They were all just kids. Lindy was absolutely terrified throughout the whole thing and clinging desperately to what she knew, which was terrible. They could've had the chance to learn and become better but they chose to go die and it's infuriating and tragic because nobody deserves that. Nobody deserves to be eaten by slugs or die of exposure in the woods. Nobody deserves to suffer like that. But they chose it rather than let the Doctor help them because they'd rather stay in their rich white supremacist bubble and he just wants to help and there's nothing he can do.
Maybe it's because one of my core beliefs is that nobody deserves death and suffering. Nobody. Even the worst person on earth can learn from their mistakes and come back and change and everyone deserves that chance. There's no such thing as too late. But they're never going to get that chance because they actively rejected it and to me that's still very, very sad.
#dead men do tell tales#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#dot and bubble#I am losing my mind. I am actually losing my mind#maybe it's because my brain is always telling me that I'm the worst person alive#instead of just saying that no I'm not my response is to say yeah okay and even the worst person alive doesn't deserve to die and can chang#what matters is that I'm taking the next step. and anyone can choose at any point to take the next step#and they actively rejected doing that and it's sad and infuriating#because nobody deserves to die#but they get what they chose#there's also the fact that I was raised by racist trump supporters and had to unlearn a lot of shit#which I was only able to do because I got out of my small town cult bubble and I was actually willing to listen to people#the problem comes when you see assholes and go wow look at those horrible unsympathetic assholes I could never be like them#by treating them as solely monstrous and something completely different from you you ignore your own ability to be monstrous#because you're not like them you're better#even the worst person is still a person and not some cartoon villain#and thinks that their actions are justified#and I'm always looking at people being assholes and going what makes you think this behavior is okay. you clearly think you're in the right#seriously what makes you think this. I want to know your exact thought process so I can stay far the hell away from it#I've been the asshole thinking I was completely in the right and I've seen people be absolutely horrible and justify it to themselves#so I'm always aware that this could be me. I could be being a total fucking dick. so I'm going to study you so I can avoid that#also the next person who says it was because they didn't learn empathy/were unempathetic gets slapped
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navree · 2 months
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Jonah Magnus
ugh number one guy, enough of sam trying to find out about martin blackwood and helen richardson and more research of the magnus institute involving research of jonah fucking magnus, also he just needs to return to me at once, i miss him dearly
How I feel about this character: I really like him. A fair amount of that comes from the fact that I've always had a natural affinity for villains and also that Ben Meredith's performance was just really good and I appreciated that. But I just enjoy him, I've always enjoyed villainous characters who are unapologetic in their villainy and aren't in a constant moral quandary about their bad deeds, and Jonah really just has no problem with any of the objectionable acts he does. I like his villainous traits, that he's duplicitous and manipulative and a bit sadistic (he didn't need to go that hard against Martin or Melanie, he did that because he wanted to), I like that he has his own agenda that he works at no matter what and no matter who it hurts, and I like that there are layers to him. 102 is one of my all time favorite episodes because we get to see things like Jonah having some kind of consideration (mild though it is) for other people, his curiosity, his enjoyment at things when he feels it unbridled, his sense of humor, and beyond that, Jonah is clearly not just a determined and driven individual, but there is some interiority in themes of choice, creation, and transformation intrinsic to the very nature of how Jonah extended his life the way he did. I dig him, he's real neat, he's legit my second favorite character in the show. Plus, when he snaps, he snaps, that's always so much fun (one hit would have killed Leitner and Martin and Melanie would have both been cowed with far less, but when Jonah gets mad he gets vicious and violent and that's why he pulverizes Leitner's head and goes way farther with torturing people who've irritated him and it's really fun that he has that side that just kinda loses it when pushed, I love it).
All the people I ship romantically with this character: I do actually ship Jonelias, it's an interesting dynamic and i wish it had been explored more post season 3. I also enjoy all of Jonah's romances that he definitely had with, like, every member of his original squad back when he still was Jonah Magnus. But number one OTP is always gonna be Lonelyeyes, andnot even in a meme way. Like I genuinely enjoy them as a couple, I have a LOT of thoughts on how that went on and what they meant to each other in the grand schemes, and I wholeheartedly believe there was emotional investment from Jonah's part (there kinda has to be, because Peter by nature isn't gonna be actively pursuing anything except potential victims, certainly not romantic partners). I have a post about this somewhere, but Peter is also the only person who has died in Jonah Magnus's ten million lifetimes that can be laid squarely at his feet. Anyone else who dies was likely gonna die around the same time in similar circumstances even without his involvement, but Peter, assuming he and og!Elias were the same age (which I do) is the only one who dies because of Jonah's actions and nothing else, if only because he's in his, like, mid-forties, and I can't pass up the thematic richness of someone who was so afraid of death he found a way to legit not have to deal with having a lover who dies well before his time as a sole result of your involvement in his life. I'm heavily invested in them as a couple, I could talk about it for days, not just because Jonahlias is my second favorite character and Peter Lukas is legit my fave.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: I know it's not canon but given my issues with season 5 I can elect to ignore it, I like imagining him and Rosie as buds and her as someone who doesn't take his shit and them just vibing (was always big into Web!Rosie or even just Eye!Rosie as long as she was specifically into just observing). To me, they just spent season 2 staring at the Archives and being judgy while sharing a coffee.
My unpopular opinion about this character: Again, I like villains, I don't mind Jonah as an out and out villain, but I think I preferred what we were getting out of him in season 3 than the turn to big bad. Like, season 3 Jonah seems to operate honestly similarly to Gertrude on a wider scale. He wants to stop Rituals, by whatever means necessary. And he wants to keep control over the Institute, his center of power, and is willing to do whatever necessary to keep it as well, and has no problems being cruel or awful in the process. And he has different motives for ending Rituals than Gertrude does, clearly, because he's not a very good person, but I just prefer that kind of grey/neutral affinity, regardless of him personally being bad or evil, and that role that he was playing. It was more fun for me, and I think it had more creative potential for Jonah as a character while still keeping him in a sort of villainous personality, which as I've said, I love. Also I think that all non-Elias enjoyers need the word "capitalism" taken away from them and they can only have it back when they prove they understand wtf they're talking about because a lot of the critiques are not only weird but straight up inaccurate to the character and don't make sense. Not gonna elaborate much on it too because I have a post about it already on my blog in some detail, but another major unpopular opinion of mine is that Jonah, specifically Jonah, was not seen as a bad boss or hated by wider employees at all, canonically, it's only Tim that starts turning on him in season 2 because of his issues and everyone else only hops on board after he legit reveals that he killed someone in cold blood and framed their coworker for it, they liked him as a boss and thought he was good this is literally canon even if it's an unpopular opinion.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: That he shows tf up in TMAGP. Like, where is he? I'm pretty sure he's involved in the computers, because "jmj errors" are not actually a thing and very specifically for this show, and it makes sense that the three people in the Panopticon in 200 were the ones transported to the computers, but that's TMA!Jonah. There was a Jonah from this show's universe too, one that created the Magnus Institute and very obviously had plans, even if they diverged from what we know. And I don't think the fire at the Institute, stopped him, so where is he? Can he show up? God I hope he does, and if he doesn't I still have a draft of something that I might write down eventually.
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longagoitwastuesday · 1 month
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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savage-rhi · 2 months
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Magenta 😥
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sonknuxadow · 1 year
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something about how when a guy sonic character has nothing going for him in canon or is from a game people dont like people will flesh him out and write 500 page fanfictions about him detailing their au backstory for him anyway. if he does something really really bad whether it was a mistake or fully intentional people are willing to think about and understand why he did what he did. or theyll just ignore it entirely or blame it on bad writing. but when a girl sonic character does any of those same things shes treated like the spawn of satan
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faaun · 6 months
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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clownjacket · 5 months
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If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.
#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream#Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right?#She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name#Brennan literally rolled#and we know she was in Porter’s office#so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it#Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene#Which one of the RGs has invisibility?#HMMMM#Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP#know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple#Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity???#We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive#knew her name#Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right?#And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore#But#Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her#domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain#And idk#A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex#who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life#One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids#and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death#that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it#especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back#especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter#Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna#Please world let me have this I’m on my knees#dimension 20
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