#E bready the bread

[feyburner]

This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.

EDIT: This has been posted on AO3.

[Unknown] »

Hey. This is Jason. 

I have a favor to ask. You can say no.

« tim

uh

1. i’m aware of how favors work  

2. what is it?

« tim

?

« tim

hey are you like. good

J »

Yeah fine 

Sry. Rethinking this maybe

« tim

what, do you need a kidney or something?

i can’t give you a kidney.

i don’t have any organs to spare.

J »

What ? 

« tim

what’s the favor?

J »

I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important

I’d ask Roy but hes in star city 

or Kori but shes off world

I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight

« tim

yeah jason i get it lol

J »

So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht

« tim

what >?

J »

We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing. 

« tim

are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there

J »

So I dont think I can get back t

No its on purpose

« tim

hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?  

jason this storm is really bad.

it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina

J »

I dont think I can get back totown toni

Christ you type fast 

Shut up for a sec. Clam down

Clam*

*Calm fuck me

Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.

Can you feed my sourdough starter 

« tim

what

J »

4511 overhill apt 6D 

Key under the neighbors mat. 6H

« tim

hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean

J »

Starter is on counter. in glass jar 

Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending 

« tim

on???

J »

On wwhen I get back?

« tim

so you do plan on coming back

J »

Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom

« tim

yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine? 

J »

Did you

jst say Vader

As in Darth

« tim

??? 

J »

Oh my god

« tim

jason are you in peril or what.

J »

No im not in “peril” lol.

Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter

It needs to be fed

« tim

wtf is a sourdough starter

nvm i googled it

J »

Its a live bacteria colony you use to m 

Oh ok

Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour

Theres a scale next to the jar

Stir until it looks like hummus

Put lid back on

The end

« tim

the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings

J »

Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule

« tim

your bread schedule 

J »

Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else

« tim

im already en route. 

J »

Oh

Ok

Thank you.

Wtf dont text and motorbike  

« tim

how about you dont text and Sinking Boat

J »

Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash

« tim

i was stopped at a red light 😐

anwyay i’m at your place.

1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking. 

2. how warm is lukewarm

J »

1. I’m the security system

« tim

just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt

J »

God youre annoying

2. ? Its lukewarm

« tim

ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :) 

J »

Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in

Can you fucking

I TYPE SLOW.

« tim

ok.

[Image Attached]

he is fed

J »

Thanks man.

Sincerely.

« tim

so hows the cargo hold going

still intact i assume? 

J »

Mostly ya

« tim

pardon? 

J »

Slight leakage. Nothing major

« tim

oh? are you a boatologist now? 

i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?

J »

Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.

Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar

Hm.

« tim

did an alarm just start going off

J »

Dont worry about it

« tim

im not. 

did it though

also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase

blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one

« tim

jason?

« tim

if this is a joke it’s not funny

oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.

hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi

« tim

ugh.

*

J »

Hey

Thanks again for the

I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.

But thanks for the backup.

Lmk when youre home

Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.

Night.

« tim

home

J »

Also I just saw your messaages from

Ah. 👍

From earlier. 

« tim

you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages? 

J »

Those were not my exact words.

« tim

right. your exact words contained somehow even less information 

J »

Shut up

I just wanted to 

You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it

The only one in the family I mean

your family, I mean

The bats.

« tim

? 

the only one who jokes about what

J »

Me being dead

« tim

oh. 

ok. well

its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess

J »

No thats not 

Tim. Shut up.

I dont mind. I like that one of you does. 

Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.

One of many

If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face

the :~{ face

« tim

wow its uncanny

uh. for the record. 

i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it

if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can” 

 

J »

Yeah well

I just

Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.

Im gonna shut the fuck up I think. 

Goodnight.

« tim

oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me? 

and failed btw :/ 

J »

Tim

Not to be so unchill

But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you

« tim

…got it. sorry

J »

No. don’t apologize to me

Ever

I’m serious 

« tim

like for anything? 

what if i killed breadie mercury 

J »

You didnt. He is thriving

« tim

he is?

wait. really?

you can tell?

J »

[Image Attached]

Hes doubled in size since you fed him.

« tim

whoa

J »

Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.

*that too

Its stupid but hes kinda my son.

« tim

wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons

J »

He is my 10 billion sons.

« tim

lolol

wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol 

J »

Right

« tim

jeez

i was so worried about the water temp

google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe

J »

You used a thermometer? 

« tim

your instructions were vague!

i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!

J »

Thanks Tim.

« tim

? you already said that lol

i gotta pass out btw

glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht

that would have been so cringe

night jason

J »

Night

*

J »

You up?

« tim

obviously

why

J »

Could use your eyes on something.

[Image Attached]

« tim

morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD

J »

Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl 

Ok jesus christ . 

30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me

Can I hire you? Jesus lol

« tim

that depends. do you pay more than batman?

J »

The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?

« tim

no.

J »

Then yes. I do pay more than batman.

« tim

how much more

J »

One coffee per codebreak? 

« tim

:\

J »

Two coffees per codebreak

Two and a loaf of sourdough

« tim

sourdough from breadie mercury?

J »

Ya

« tim

done

J »

Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards

« tim

i mean i was already gonna do it for free

now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance 

im on a roll. nothing but Ws 

J »

Ws?

« tim

its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️

J »

I am barely 3 years older htan you.

It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.

« tim

and yet you text like an old, old man

J »

I do not

Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”

« tim

ROFLCOPTER?

oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god

that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god

J »

Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing

« tim

? 

oh, is it star trek? 

J »

I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose

But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings

« tim

no i have not.

J »

Hm.

« tim

what

J »

Nothing.

« tim

……….what

*

« tim

did you NARC on me

to BRUCE

about LORD OF THE RINGS?????

J »

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

« tim

WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON? 

WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?

WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”? 

J »

I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.

That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.

« tim

its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE

about GOBLINS

J »

I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.

« tim

if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own. 

im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool 

J »

What the fuck

How do you fuckig know about ?????? that???????? 

Not that ithahpened 

What hefuckk ??

« tim

ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!

J »

Why are you?? evil??

« tim

you should have killed me when you had the chance!!

sorry.

J »

Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.

Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part

Brb

« tim

uh

« tim

ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two…….. 

« tim

sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia

« tim

ugh.

*

« tim

you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time

luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.

J »

Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?

« tim

oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters 

J »

Hey I wrapped up the russians myself 

« tim

yeah? 

J »

…

Yeah….

« tim

so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god? 

J »

:-|

« tim

im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker

just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.

think of all the time and energy you’d save me

J »

I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.

« tim

i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app

i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance 

J »

Uh

What

« tim

how hot *red hood is. to clarify

in their opinion

the people’s opinion

J »

?

« tim

the people of gotham city

J »

The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol

« tim

wait 

i cant tell if you’re being serious

J »

Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf

Why would they think hes hot 

They dont think Batman is hot 

« tim

o…kay…

huh.

how to… hmm

J »

Like nightwing sure

And the girls. Bc of objectification of women

« tim

oh wow

J »

Red Robin. If i had to guess

But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol

« tim

what kind of response, exactly

J »

You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot” 

« tim

oh, wow. 

okay. ummm

hmm. one sec.

J »

?

« tim

check your email 

J »

Ok…? 

J »

Oh my fucking god.

« tim

yeah

J »

Oh my god?

« tim

yeah

J »

This document is fucking 45 pages long?

« tim

its everything from the past 30 days yeah

J »

The past

Whaht the fuck

Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.

This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff. 

« tim

oof are you on page 14

J »

Im on page 3???

« tim

oh my god

J »

What the fuck

Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too

Tim

« tim

its not like this for batman :)

J »

Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.

« tim

its worse :)

J »

Oh what the fuck

Oh my fucking god page 14.

You get this shit TEXTED to you?????

Ohm ygod. You read this?????

« tim

i mean

no

i glance at it

for security purposes.

i dont like, read it read it

anyway did you seriously not know? haha

J »

No??? Again its not like people tell me

« tim

yeah but

like

theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here

yknow

sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately” 

« tim

sorry

that was in fact awkward!

nvm

just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not

i was mostly joking about the hacking

J (From Work) »

No you weren’t.

« tim

no i wasnt

i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser

anyway im going dark for patrol, later

*

J (From Work) »

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog 

« tim

oh my god

you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right

J (From Work) »

Figured it was only fair

[Screenshot Attached]

This persons got some mad zoom lens skills

I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you

« tim

wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass

…a stellar photo of my ass. wow. 

do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph

J (From Work) »

goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3

Haha

I kinda thought you and blondie broke up

back on again?

« tim

no lol we are very much just friends

she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going

anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots 

its a whole genre

they’re like trading cards

J (From Work) »

Guess everyone’s got a hobby?

« tim

the only rule is no nightwing

J (From Work) »

Do I want to know why

« tim

he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots

so its too easy

you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare. 

← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman 

anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.

J (From Work) »

A vote between you and Steph? 

You lost a 50/50 vote?

« tim

i dont wanna talk about it.

J (From Work) »

Right. 

So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.

« tim

no

J (From Work) »

No?

« tim

well

J (From Work) »

Yeah?

« tim

we don’t like, save them

that would be weird

we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues 

and keep an ongoing points tally

thats all

so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you

J (From Work) »

How many points is my ass worth

« tim

i hate everything about this conversation

J (From Work) »

Its 100% your own fault, answer the question

« tim

if you must know. 

points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.

J (From Work) »

Uh huh. Like what

« tim

technical excellence

composition. lighting and color balance. 

dynamism 

J (From Work) »

Dynamism…

« tim

creativity

umm

emotional impact

and 

subject matter

J (From Work) »

I see.

« tim

ok i know it sounds bad

J (From Work) »

It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears 

« tim

but if you think abou

oh

okay, well, great

J (From Work) »

I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more. 

Or is that cheating

« tim

its totally cheating

please do

J (From Work) »

You got it red. 👍

« tim

:)

[realwizardshit]

i love the tumbr.com polls that go like this:

OP: What is it called when you put meat and cheese and vegetables between two slices of bread?

Option A: A scrimbly pimbsler (5 votes)

Option B: A Bready Friendy (8 votes)

Option C: A delicious football (12 votes)

Option D: Some other weird made up word (answer in tags!) (48,000 votes)

Option E: I don't know/I'm bald/some other infinitely nuanced answer (1 vote)

[breadheaddoodles]

hello!

& welcome to my blog!

About me + what you'll find here is under the cut

about me!

I am BreadHead, also known as Bread, Bready, and many other nicknames.

I make a lot of art, but don't be surprised if you also find pictures of my cat Pepper and my plushies, along with random reblogs here.

I am genderfluid, demiaroace, and pansexual. I use any/all pronouns, but you'll probably see me referring to myself as he/they most of the time.

Please keep in mind that I am a MINOR. I am okay with mild suggestive jokes, but please don't talk about or send me anything NSFW.

my interests!

I am currently ready into Murder Drones and The Amazing Digital Circus. That's what I usually make fan art for.

I also like Notes of Phobias (a little series that @/thisiswasabis is working on), Sonic the Hedgehog, Animal Crossing, Cavetown, Beanie Babies, Portal 1 and 2, Minecraft, WALL-E, Pressure, Let Him Go., Bluey, sfw furries and furry art, and a lot of other things :P

Blorbos <3: N, Tails, Insekto, and Zooble

organizational stuff I guess

You can find any art made after this master post under the breadhead's doodles tag

Though I'm not very good at using it, most of my personal ramblings will go under the toaster thoughts tag

I'll figure out a reblogs tag eventually

I'll also throw any masterposts in here

random info!

I take art requests! If you want me to draw something, then feel free to ask. Just don't expect it to be answered right away, I'm a bit of a procrastinator (I am also working on other projects at the moment)

Feel free to drop random stuff in my askbox! Want to say hi? Go right ahead. Wanna show me your cat? Oh my gosh please do. As long as you guys are responsible, asks will be open and anons will be on.

Everyone is welcome here! All races, religions, genders, and sexual orientations are welcome and viewed as equal on this blog <3

I have an anxiety disorder lol. If I'm a bit slow to respond to an ask or something, that may be the reason. I'm just overthinking how I should answer it. I also suspect that I may be neurodivergent (am I spelling that right?) as well.

DNI :/

You probably know the basic stuff

Homophobes, Transphobes, racists, anyone who is willing to put someone down/view someone as lower than them because of who they are or what they believe in.

If you're kind and respectful to everyone, then we're cool 👍

•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•

Proper sona ref coming sometime in the future :3

[cyro-starfire]

Fanarts I made for the hottest bois

[sapphichollow]

Yuri plisetsky eating tiger bread.

Lol can you imagine shopping with him?

[sailorhyunjinz]

Pls ur reactions r so good ??? I’m in love :(

Skz reaction to you having an oral fixation / always wanting to have a mouth full of cock ?

AH thank u!! its really gratifying to hear <33

also when i write these i get like a ~ feeling ~ for each member IDK i feel like a psychic AND I WRITE DOWN EVERY THOUGH HAHSAHAS so if it seems kinda... unorganized thats why lmao

OH BRAH QUICK REACTION LEGO

Warnings; skz x gn!reader; SMUT!! oral fixation, male genitailia, blowjobs, explicit sexual content, strong language, cum, orgasm (m),,, uhm.. yeah? about that

Bangchan

now look,,, its not that he doesnt like blowjobs

its just that he doesnt see the point of you sucking him off all the time when he could be hitting it yk?

SURE foreplay go ahead suck his dick 

but like... always?? hmm... dont think so

he never says no to it if you offer to do it lmao

because WHY WOULD HE

BUT and now this is a big but(t)

i’ve had this thought for forever but hear me out...

he loves to 69

HASHAHS I DONT KNOW WHY I CAN IMAGINE THIS SO WELL LIKE...

because he both gives and recieves and that makes his heart go BOOMBOOM

more for your pleasure and doesnt mind going without it for a while, more enjoying to give you pleasure

ah pretty boy channie :((

Minho

YALL ALREADY KNOW WHATS GOING DOWN 

it gets violent 

no joke

hearing and feeling you choke on his dick is the ego boost of his life

“hmm? having a hard time baby? how about i help you?”

and then he shoves it further down, making you tear up

drool all over your chin and chest

his hand tightly gripping your hair

almost facefucking you

violent 

degradation x1000

every degrading word you could ever imagine comes out between his pretty lips 

“slut, whore, cumslave” 

YOU NAME IT

but always mixes it with praise to let you know that you’re doing great and that he’s enjoying it (a lot) :(((

Changbin

he’s definitely a blowjob type of guy

just taps the head of his dick against your flat wet tongue LORD SAVE ME

eye contact or no dick

in his opinion you’re the prettiest when you look up at him with sparkly doe eyes, your mouth stuffed with his girthy dick

he likes being teased?!?!?

kitten lick his tip and bruh he gone in a matter of minutes 

probably a bit embarrassed but DEEP DOWN he enjoys it 

even though you like sucking his dick A LOT

he is usually the one that suggests it just because he knows that you’re gonna say yes no matter what

BRUH PRAISE???

praise him, he needs it

“you’re so big binnie, f-fuck...” 

size kink hello? how small your mouth his in comparison to his dick 

nah he gets off by just that lmao

Hyunjin

i strongly believe in that the fastest way to get him off is oral

NO JOKE

he’s not too sensitive most of the time

but oral 

PHEW boy be cumming faster than changbin grew (ITS A JOKE DONT ATTACk ME)

he cums a lot 

white ribbons just ooze out from the tip

the moans THE MOOOOANS

tiny sweat drops bead on his forehead as his long hair falls in his face, the rest being tied up in a haphazardly ponytail

he slowly guides your head down his length

gently grabbing the back of your neck

flattening your tongue and licking fat stripes up against his painful erection (im going feral)

loves cumming in your mouth 

“open up sweetheart” he’d squeeze your cheeks, forcing you to open your mouth and groaning at the sight of your wet tongue covered in his release 

my god

Jisung

loves it

why? 

because it’s convenient

if he feels horny its easy for him to just nudge you and say

“c-could you,, uhm,, suck me off?”

and if you enjoy it just makes it better??!?

jisungs dream; a s/o that actually enjoys sucking him off rather than just doing it bc of foreplay 

loverboy probably whips his dick out whenever he can 

in hopes that you notice and suck him off (which,,, works)

EVEN IN THE MOST UNFITTING SITUATIONS THIS BOY WOULDNT GIVE TWO FUCKS

yall had just had an argument and his way of making it up to you was to let you suck his dick ASHAHSHAS

did you take it? 110% yes

Felix

tell me why i thought of felix’s australian accent getting more apparent as you suck him off??!?” ASHSH DONT ASK

overstimulation

suck until your jaw hurts

cause its fun to see lixie all squirmy with small whimpers and breathy shaky moans just pouring out like water. 

im gonna say this in every damn reaction but baby is sensitive

S E N S I T I V E

your mouth wrapped around his dick is heaveeeeeen

it’s just perfect?? it’s warm and wet and soft :((

not too rough with it either

would never ask for it explicitly 

and so you just,,, wanting to do it is ~ lovely ~

would probably get annoyed if you did it too often

reason being that he’d get overwhelmed lol

you just wanting to continue and him trying to yell at you but being to weak from the pleasure that washes over him

Seungmin

a lil bit like chan 

SO HE LIKES IT BUT WOULD RATHER POUND YOU IS WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY

now... believe it or not,,, he’s more gentle with you when you’re sucking him off than he is when he’s actually inside of you?

it’s like... all cute, he’s stroking your cheek, running his hands through your hair and smiling down at you

YALL WERENT EXPECTING THAT (or maybe you were idk)

when you pull off his dick with a loud pop

weak i tell you, absolutely weak because of your beauty

spitters are quitters (ASHSAHHS I CANT)

he grabs your throath gently, watching how your adams apple bobs down as you swallow his sweet cum

then he smiles, his eyes all halfmoon shaped as if he didnt just bust his load in your throat

this duality is killing me ffs

Jeongin

“r-really? you’d do that for me?” 

is what he would say when you suggest sucking him off randomly, seeing him getting hard for no apparent reason

nah bro he’s in love when you randomly suggest it

one thing i really want to emphazise is the hidden duality of babybread

i know everyone is going to think; CHERRY HE’S A BABY HE COULD NEVER BE ROUGH

and thats where you’re wrong

have you seen him on stage??? 

not so bready anymore ohohooho noo...

when shit gets hot and heavy so does he SO THERE IS NO HESITATION IN SHOVING YOUR HEAD DOWN HIS DICK

none

you just have to get to that point where they horniness is too much to bear yk??

imagine you two cuddling and you start tugging on his pants 

he already knows, no words needed 

baby bread senses lmao

[imaginingangels]

Potato and feta bread.

[nowoyas]

Your 'katsudon' looks delicious,.. How did you make it,, 😍

*breaks fingers* alright recipe time bitches, gonna throw this shit under a readmore for ur dash’s sakes

ingredience:

1-2 chicken breasts (I used one cus I got a different brand from usual and these chicken breasts were THICC, u wanna make sure they’re kinda thin otherwise cut em in half or they won’t cook through properly)

rice (1 cup white uncooked is what I used)

onion (half a large yellow onion, I used two small yellow onions cus I’m an onion whore)

panko, which is japanese bread crumbs! (like 1 cup)

1 large egg, beaten

2 more large eggs, beaten, SEPARATE from the first egg

about 1/4 cup flour

salt n pepper baybeeee

grated lemon peel (if it doesn’t have lemon peel, soy sauce, or just so much sugar I didn’t cook it, but you can leave this out if you want :( )

2/3 cup dashi stock 

1 1/2 tbsp mirin (rice wine, it’s a cooking wine so you should be able to buy it even if ur not legal drinking age)

1 1/2 tbsp sake (NOT a cooking alcohol, u will need someone to buy it for u if ur underaged)

1 1/2 tbsp soy sauce

1 1/2 TEASPOONS, not tablespoons, sugar

if ur life rocks and u can find it, mitsuba which is japanese parsley. if ur life doesn’t rock and u can’t get it (Aka ur me), regular parsley works fine

oil! a flavor neutral cooking oil like canola oil or veg oil. don’t use olive oil. the amount will depend on the size of ur frying pan but we’re gonna b shallow frying this shit

resippy:

set everything out, cook ur rice ahead of time

start by slicing up your onions. what I do is cut the onion in half and then do wedges, then separate the layers and toss that into a bowl. set aside for later

I like to set up ur breading station first so u don’t gotta do it with chicken hands or wash your hands 50000 times, so set out either shallow bowls or plates with ur flour, ONE beaten egg, panko, and then one clean plate for once ur chicken’s all bready

then u wanna prep ur chicken, if ur chicken breasts are thin slicing in half once longways is fine (like chicken tenders) but if u got thicc bois first slice em in half so they’re not so thicc. u want this shit to b able to cook all the way thru because in this house we do NOT stan salmonella poisoning or any matter of food-born illnesses. I find 4 chicken tender-sized slices to b the perfect amount to fit in my pan

if u didn’t prep ur breading station ahead of time, wash ur hands and do it now. ur order is flour -> egg -> panko -> finish plate

if u prepped ur breading station first, then sprinkle salt + pepper over both sides of each chicken not-tender, maybe a lil bit of lemon peel. then, one at a time, cover each piece with flour, then dredge it in egg, and then the panko. b careful to completely cover ur chicken during each step! when it’s bready, place the chicken+seasoning+floureggpanko on the plate, rinse ur fingertips bc they’re probs gettin breaded too, and repeat until all ur chicken’s covered and breaded

get a plate and line it with 2 or 3 paper towels, have some extra on the side too, you’ll need em

now for the fun part and the reason i smell like burn ointment right now: frying!

you wanna get a shallow frying pan and pour enough oil so it’s half an inch deep in. heat it over medium heat 5-10 minutes, you want the oil to be around 350 degrees fahrenheit (176.66 celcius according to google?) but I don’t own a thermometer lmao. take a tiny piece of panko and drop it in the oil, it might sink a lil and if bubbles carry it back to the top kinda slow-ish you’ll know you’re ready to fry. u wanna make sure it’s not too cold or too hot cus too cold won’t get crispy and too hot will over-cook ur breading while ur chicken doesn’t cook all the way thru

drop one of your katsu tenders in the oil s l o w l y. if u did it right the oil probably doesn’t cover the tender all the way--that’s ok, using either tongs or something scoopy or like, long chopsticks, carefully flip it every now and then until the whole thing’s nice and golden brown. remove and set on ur paper towel plate, repeat for the rest of ur katsu tenders. I recommend one at a time so you don’t overcook any of them! it also makes em easier to flip in the oil without being a dumbass like me and having oil pop all over ur goddamn s k i n and burn u cus god knows I do that shit every time or grab fresh hot meat with my bare hands when it’s barely out of the oil

once you’re all done frying, remove ur oil from the heat and let it cool before you even THINK about cleaning that shit. get another frying pan (probs deeper than the one u fried in), toss in ur sake, mirin, dashi, sugar, soy sauce, and onions, and stir it up. heat it until it starts boiling, drop ur heat to medium, and cook it up until ur onions are all wilty. 

at this point, put ur fried up chicken in and turn the heat up to medium high. take ur other two beaten eggs and pour em over the chicken so it’s about as evenly ditributed as u can get. nice egg bath for our nice bready chicken. 

when the egg’s around half cooked (I’d give advice on what that looks like but it’s kinda somethin u gotta feel with ur heart of hearts), turn off the heat and add ur mitsuba or boring old dried parsley I GUESS and more lemon peel. probably less than i would add. I’m known for eating more lemon than is healthy.

remember your rice? I sure hope so! get some of that shit in a bowl and scoop out some chicken tendie, make sure u get onions and some of the liquid and stuff, and lay that shit on top of the rice.

take a bite and fucking ascend. holy shit. izuku was right. katsudon is so fucking good. the first time I made this shit and tried it I got some rice, meat, and onion and egg all in one bite and yelled “oh FUCK” so loud in my kitchen my roommate came out of her room and I had to let her try some. but don’t be fooled. this recipe could probably maybe serve two, potentially three if ur all small eaters. don’t share. eat all of it urself. c o n s u m e it. I highly recommend gettin a bite with everything in it, cus you’ll fucking d i e. 

izuku was so right. this shit slaps. even if it’s not technically katsudon. (I think it makes it oyakodon? but shhhh it’s katsudon if I SAY it’s katsudon) it’s just. so good. i’m a lil drunk cus the sake isn’t resealable so I’ve been drinking it but f u c k this shit’s so good. call me a kinnie but katsudon’s one of my favorite foods now too i’m lowkey crying a little it’s so fucking g o o d

[lilgardengremlin]

day 12: 6.12.20

today was wonky lol

for starters, i only slept like 2 hours

buuuuut, during that time i finally painted a couple sketches i had set aside, and i listened for a lot of music. i also chatted with a friend for a while, which was nice.

since i couldn’t sleep, i decided to make bread, and it turned out great! my starter is getting really strong, but e flavor isn’t quite as “bready” as i want it to be

after everyone woke up we watched some stuff and then went on a walk. the sky was absolutely goreous. i played around a bit with my camera too, which was fun

we went and sat by the pool for a bit, it was a really clear night. i didn’t realize how long it had been since i’d seen the stars

i ended up going to sleep at like 4 in the morning, which was weird bc i was running on like less than 2 hours lol

that’s all for now, b safe and keep on social distancing!

[watchend76-blog]

Gluten-Free Pizza Crust, Brazilian Cheese Bread Style

This gluten-free pizza crust recipe is brown and crispy on the outside with the classic chewy pizza texture inside. Made from a few-ingredient cheesy tapioca flour dough inspired by Brazilian cheese bread, this gluten-free pizza dough is fast and easy for pizza night at home!

Our two year old is on the extreme end of stubborn and persistent. Even still, we’ve managed to guide a toddler with a very limited diet into becoming one who eats vegetables for dinner every night and only has a few foods she actively hates (looking at you, avocado). We were on top of our parenting game…until I almost ruined pizza for her last week. I served a chickpea socca flatbread covered with cheese and veggies for dinner one night and called it pizza. It’s all about optics with toddlers; she’ll eat blistered green beans if I call them “bean fries” and offer ketchup. She took one bite of that chickpea (not-pizza) pizza and spit it right out with tears about how she doesn’t like pizza anymore.

Oops.

So then a few days later when I told her we were having pizza for dinner in the most excited voice I could muster, she threw a tantrum about how she doesn’t LIKE pizza. She finally clarified that she doesn’t like “the other pizza” (aka the chickpea pizza she’s apparently still traumatized from). So I taught her the word socca and we all happily ate this cheesy gluten-free pizza crust with our favorite toppings for dinner.

When she requested pizza again last night, she added with sass, “but not socca. I don’t like socca.” She’s only 2.5 years old, but pizza now has stipulations.

To be fair, I’ve added stipulations to my pizza habits since I perfected this gluten-free pizza crust. Specifically that it must be made with this gluten-free pizza dough. When Lucas tried to convince me to go out for pizza last night, I countered with homemade pizza, which in my opinion tastes better.

Inspired by Pão de queijo: Brazilian cheese bread

The inspiration for this recipe comes from pão de queijo or Brazilian cheese bread. I’d been dreaming about turning my seeded cheddar Brazilian cheese bread recipe into cheesy bread sticks with marinara, but my first trial came out less than stellar. More on that to come!

A few months later, those dreams extended to include cheesy gluten-free pizza crust after a life-changing crust at a Boston pizzeria. While the restaurant did not confirm it, their gluten-free pizza crust tasted remarkably similar to my Brazilian cheese bread and from there I immediately went back to testing.

Why you’ll love this gluten-free pizza crust recipe

Brazilian cheese bread has all the characteristics that make it perfectly suited for pizza crust. It bakes up with a crispy exterior that browns up with a chewy, cheesy, bready interior that stretches and pulls like traditional yeasted pizza crust.

While there are definitely vast and varied opinions on what makes a great pizza, there are a few things most of us can agree on, right? Namely, cheese. That’s what gives this crust its wow factor – it’s loaded with cheese.

The second pizza crust non-negotiable for me is that the bottom must be crispy. This is where I find that many gluten-free pizza crusts are lacking. Or if they are crispy, they aren’t also chewy inside. Not this crust though! The cheese-y gluten-free pizza dough browns and crisps on the bottom while still having the classic pizza crust chew.

How to make gluten-free pizza crust

Possibly the best part? This pizza crust doesn’t require much fuss – even less fuss than a yeasted traditional pizza crust. In the bowl of a stand mixer, add tapioca flour to hot milk and oil. Then mix in eggs followed by cheese. Press it out and bake. That’s it. This is now my favorite go-to gluten-free pizza recipe for weeknight dinners.

Honestly, the most annoying part of this recipe is that the dough is so darn sticky. No problem – to combat that, just coat your hands in plenty of tapioca starch/flour before handling the crust. Once coated in a thin layer of tapioca flour, the dough acts like a traditional yeasted pizza dough with stretch and pull.

Thanks for reading Snixy Kitchen! To stay up on what’s coming out of my kitchen, follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Bloglovin’, or Pinterest, or subscribe via e-mail to get new recipes right to your inbox!

Gluten-Free Pizza Crust

Author: Sarah Menanix

Prep time:  15 mins

Cook time:  40 mins

Total time:  55 mins

Yields: 2 12-inch pizza crusts

1¼ cups whole milk

¼ cup + 2 tablespoons vegetable oil (such as sunflower or canola oil)

1 teaspoon kosher salt

2½ cups (300g) tapioca flour/starch, plus more for dusting

2 eggs, room temperature,

1 cup (4oz) packed shredded low moisture mozzarella

¾ cup (2.7oz) packed shredded parmesan cheese

½ cup pizza sauce

6oz fresh mozzarella, sliced

1oz finely grated parmesan cheese

¼ cup pesto

Basil and red pepper flakes, for garnish

Other toppings of your choice!

Preheat oven to 500°F with a pizza stone or thick large baking sheet on the bottom rack.

In a small saucepan, bring the milk, oil, and 1 teaspoon of salt to boil over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Just when the milk begins to bubble, remove pan from heat.

Stirring constantly, slowly add the tapioca flour to the pan. Continue stirring to combine (the mixture will be sticky and might not incorporate completely, but that's okay).

Transfer the sticky dough to the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment or a large food processor, using a rubber spatula to get as much out of the pan as possible. Beat on medium speed until the dough is smooth and cool enough to touch, about 5 minutes.

One at a time, lightly whisk one of the eggs in a small bowl. With mixer on low speed, add the egg into the dough and beat until combined. This might take several minutes and might at first look like it won't incorporate, but keep at it for several minutes until it's smooth. Repeat with remaining egg.

With the mixer on low, slowly add cheese and beat on medium speed until fully incorporated. If needed, knead the dough with tapioca flour-covered hands until fully incorporated.

Divide the dough into equal halves, covering your hands in tapioca flour before touching the dough to keep it from sticking to your hands.

Lay a piece of parchment paper down and dust it with tapioca flour. Dusting with more tapioca flour as you go, press half of the dough into a 12-inch round on the parchment paper, creating a thicker crust around the outside. Prick holes in the bottom of the crust with a fork. Repeat with the second half on a second sheet of parchment paper.

One at a time, place one pizza dough round on the baking stone or baking sheet on the bottom rack of the oven and bake for 10-13 minutes *(See note).

Cover with toppings of your choice.

Bake for 7-10 more minutes.

*Your crust will need 20 minutes total of baking time. The par-bake and final bake time will depend on your toppings. For example, if you're using fresh mozzarella as a topping, par-bake the crust for longer, but then bake the crust for only 7 minutes once you add the toppings because the cheese just needs to melt. If you're using other toppings like mushrooms or pepperoni, par-bake for just 10 minutes, then bake for 10 minutes longer once you add the toppings.

3.5.3226

  More from Snixy Kitchen

Filed Under: pizza, pizza crust, pizza dough, tapioca flour, tapioca starch

Source: https://www.snixykitchen.com/2018/08/20/gluten-free-pizza-crust/

[cornytheclown]

Hehe, you know I'm always up for my boy D-E-S-M-O-N-D

AAH, I’m so sorry this is really late, I’ve been so busy. Welp, here’s my headcanons, and I’m bready to share them now!D - I feel like he would be easy to fluster if you were to flirt with him. Like, he would be really caught off guard, and his face would get red and he would stutter- just an awkward, adorable mess!E - I could see him actually being really good with kids. On the surface, he seems like he wouldn’t know how to handle them, or would be too serious to. But in reality, he’s probably a real dad. Which he was…. cries in the cornerS - Considering their alter ego and profession, most likely very stealthy. I could see them being like an Indiana Jones type, sneaking his way through booby traps to get to the treasure at the end. Although, I picture him being just as clumsy as he is stealthy.M - Hmmmm…. he looks like a pudding kind of guy. Maybe like creme brulee or flan. Or even bread pudding.O - OOF this is a painful one. I certainly have a feeling that what’s happened to him in the past, regarding his family and conversion to Targent has already broken him enough.N - Bread  Coffee and a Croissant/Bagel. Something simple that would help kickstart his day.

D. - (Last Verse, Same As The First.)Again, I wish I coulda answered this sooner, but I’m glad I got to do it now! I never really had a ton of headcanons for other characters, but he’s just one of those kind of guys you could read from his face and mannerisms alone, yknow?I hope we’ll be able to see him again in the new Layton anime!

[viaggioemangio-blog]

La vista e il profumo di un pane appena cotto ha un fascino romantico che trascende qualsiasi altra riuscita culinaria. (Elisabeth Luard) . Viaggioemangio è stato presente al primo evento #Happaness a #Sansebastianoalvesivio dove abbiamo assagiato un pane delizioso... inoltre abbiamo avuto modo di degustare per la prima volta una tipologia di pane impastato con #acquadimanre #Steralmar un'acqua di mare microbiologicamente pura a uso alimentare senza aver bisogno di sali aggiunti ..... tutto delizioso😋😍😍 . . . . Instagram digital coach: @mariantek . . #bread #food #sourdough #breads #foodporn #breadlover #breadmaking #baking #foodie #sourdoughbread #breadtalk #homemade #breadlovers #breadbaking #breadbosses #instafood #mariantekdigitalcoach #realbread #breadandbutter #breading #bready #bakery #breadsticks #delicious #breadoflife #breadfruit (presso San Sebastiano al Vesuvio)

[adanishdelight-archived]

engineerjones replied to your post: get to know the mun. NAME   :   Bread/Breadie...

ooc; Alfred has the same problem with the connection thing. Form squad Get The Attractive Blonds Some Lovins

p l e a s e 

Let our blondies find some lovin! They need to get a lil spoiled with love, something tells me neither of them is getting much of it -3-//

[julietstastyhub]

Today feels like a Hotdog 🌭bready day with a cup of ☕ . . Kindly register for any of our classes below👇🏼 . . Culinary Art class -African Cuisines -Nigerian Cuisines -Continental Cuisines . . Pastry Art class -Small chops Class -African Pastry class -International Pastry Class . . Short Courses: -Dessert class -Breakfast class -Bread making Class . . Our class Duration: -2 weeks -6 weeks -12 weeks . . To register for any of our classes, Call/whatsapp (+234) 07031847942 . . E-mail: info@julietstastyhub.com . . Kindly download our form here https://julietstastyhub.com/ . . #JulietsTastyHub #JTHCulinarySchool #AfricanCuisine #Pastries #MeatPie #CulinarySchoolInLagos (at Juliet's Tasty Hub) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-G_A1Rl41G/?igshid=l60t4pq7orl9

[smash-all-mirrors]

1 to 24

Okay let’s get right into it!

 I was in grade 5 right, and I was bullied and socially awkward so I tried to talk about boys to fit in a little more with the new girl, and when I said Daniel Radcliffe was cute it dawned on me suddenly that she meant in a kissing way and I’m like shit I don’t think about people like that, and it was like I blew my own mind

 I’m not into people that way and there are very few people I would tolerate it from, never mind enjoy.

Pan? I have had crushes on guys and enjoyed platonic cuddles with them, but it’s easier to develop that with women because communication is just easier. I like pan over bi tho because the joke about fucking pans, like I love looking at cookware

uh panacegenderisameaninglessconceptthattraumatizedmyyouth? I need some help with the gender one but I usually just say ace because it’s most important to me

I have not had the complete sex experience yet but I am hoping to enjoy it and help out my girlfriend. I’m not particularly attached to orgasms though so my complete experience will be different than other people’s I guess

Damn yes please. PDA, giving gifts, eating together, etc, romance is great. And apparently I’m a giant sap so I need to give it.

Currently am, it’s nice to be good at something

Hoping to be, we’re going to test out the waters at some point

hell yeah platonic relationships are the bomb, I love cuddles with friends and if my gf/qpr wanted that I would want to make her happy. All relationships are good relationships if they make you happy

men are attractive, like in a physical people are beautiful kind, but like my type is nervous artsy men. Blue eyes brown hair. I’m pretty sure every guy I had a crush on had blue eyes. Usually I don’t crush right away on guys because like I’m waiting for them to say something horrible and that nagging doubt is just taking over my brain crush space

I crush way more easily on women probably because I can get the level of touch I like with it still staying in the friendship zone. Also girl crush was used as a descriptor by my friend who is super het so I just accepted it, and I don’t think of going further by myself so it’s just seen as normal bonding to a certain point (like they end up getting with a guy and it’s never the same)

With most people it’s hugs, and most of the time I do prefer hugs, but sometimes a hug or a kiss make me feel nothing equally, and when my gf kisses me on the forehead it feel nice in a different way

from my gf only, I don’t like familial kisses and I don’t like friends kissing me, but maybe because I never really felt so close

neck, it’s such a comfortable spot to be, and I can kiss if I feel like it

It’s such an entrenched part of my personality, like so much about me is because I’m ace, but like I gotta say I want to own a whole deck of just ace cards because I like to practice card throwing (I procrastinate but I have big dreams about it)

probably more disappointing to my family than being into the same gender but like can’t please everyone

fkgkhjdglsf so there is this person I know and I know she got a lot of issues from her mom but like she says horrible shit about ace, like one time she told me “oh it’s not really like coming out, it’s not like you’re gay or w/e”. I love her but damn she can be a huge bitch, like fuck yes being ace is a big deal to society and I’m left out or made fun of a lot for being different, and she doesn’t have to be so shitty about it. 

It came out because the topic was making me uncomfortable and she was just like sorry I’ll remember that for the future, when like before it was pity or dismissal. 

I love reptiles, like geckos and snakes and the funny way they blink, or those tiny dessert mice, but if I could I would live in a warm country and like bring my snakes everywhere. There should be service snakes, dogs are not the only animals that provide comfort

ace head cannons? buttercup was my fav powerpuff girl I was like this is me we are the same and I aspire to be this radical. I just have very fond memories of her and disliking kissing and stuff like that so I haven’t seen the cartoon in forever but she’s ace no doubt. Superman is the ace for sure, like that guy seems super ace. Plus in krypton they make babies in pods allowing them to skip sex completely for procreation? seems pretty asexual to me, like sex isn’t such a big deal there, more like a once in a while type thing, and it’s not stigmatized but forced on the population at the same time.

There was a dude who married a torah scroll and called the shabbat his bride like totally wild and heretical but that’s so ace total mood. George Bernard Shaw and his wife I think were ace together and It’s so cute. Idk tho there are so many conflicts (gay?ace?bi?), misinformation and erasure in history it’s hard to know for sure but like I kind of noticed a bit the more sexual a person’s job is the more likely I am to find a concentration of people not so interested in sex. Its a small number because being ace is a small number, but there is a slightly higher concentration than other jobs. Just my experience tho. Maybe their aceness lets them treat it like a job because it makes no difference to them, so like those priests in Sumeria who had sex as a religious rite were probably ace

Oh yeah all the time. I love cake, especially nut cake and sponge cake. Yeast cakes are sooooooo good too. I don’t like heavy bread like cakes that much(like if it looks like bread but tastes kinda cakey), but I do like trying new things and flavour combo, even if apple is always the best flavour. I made the best apple cake one time, it was a semi bread dough so it was a pin in the ass to knead (idk it was a weird cross between yeasty but not quite bready) and I had to split and put apples in the middle but it was so delicious I ate so much cake

I love dogs. Dogs are amazing and open communicators generally, and if they don’t like you they make it obvious, it’s great. 

eh, they’re okay as long as they don’t shed all over me. They’re cute, I like to feed outdoor cats, but they can take their claws out and it’s hard for me to tell when they start to get annoyed in general so I get a bit anxious when I feel like I’m petting them too long. Totally depends on the individual cat, some I feel more comfortable with