#EVERY time ive ever met a band its been with her

[prehistorictriforce]

btw my friend got barricade for mcr the same night i went to see them and she got a setlist and ive never been more jealous of another person in my life. she peaked where i never could. 

[k1rameki]

i think i need to expand on my losergirl ayana agenda bc lord have i become hyperfixated (buckle up bc i have gone absolutely insane over this) (this might also end up becoming a hc dump uh oh) (also bear in mind thanks to all the recent art ive been seeing of her ive been on a real ayana kick when it comes to ships n shit so yeah some hcs with the other characters imma mention can be interpreted romantically too teehee) (and also!!! more general ayana hcs too :333 i have a cavity in mein cranium that can only be filled with soft ayana content)

also quick emoji keys for dialogue i may add for this ^_^

🎸 - aldryx

🩻 - tabi

🔻- ayana

🎧 - dalia

📼 - agoti

some of the many reasons i believe ayana is an absolute girlfailure is her complete and utter failure in her previous relationship/s (I SAY THIS BC SHE PROBABLY HAS BEEN IN A FEW THAT HAVENT WORKED OUT LONG BEFORE SHE MET BOYFRIEND,, also shes just awkward as hell but thats a story for anotha time)

NOT ONLY THAT BUT HELLO??? she appears so calm and collected whenever shes engaging in simple conversation but internally shes freaking out and she has no idea where anything is gonna end up going and often times she can and she WILL let stupid things slip out of her mouth and immediately she regrets it

and let me tell you this she gets more and more pathetic and losery around dalia,, this woman is in LOVE (hence that stupid doodle i made where aya's just freaking out over the slightest bit of affection given to her) (looks like she might have abandonment issues sorry what)

IN FACT. GIVING PHYSICAL AFFECTION TO EVERYONE. SHES ALL FOR THAT SHIT,, hugs, kisses, stroking hair, you name it, this girl is a massive cuddlebug you cant convince me otherwise

i mentioned my pastry chef ayana hc in passing but i'm gonna fully expand on that now: SO. also aya family hcs bc people should talk ab that but ayana's dad is a chef (no specific speciality, but he does make a lot of baked goods) and growing up she would often mirror what he does and that eventually led to her practicing and honing her skills! :D (she also studies culinary arts at college teehee) ALSO!!! she brings all sorts of baked goods she makes over for all her favourite people to enjoy constantly whether that be cookies, pastries, cakes, all of that yummy stuff

despite being an absolute loser girlfail idiot she can jam on the bass like its no tomorrow. IM TALKING ABOUT SLAP, FINGERPICKING, YOU NAME IT, SHE CAN DO IT ‼️‼️ here's an example of the bass playing style i had in mind for her, very energetic and fluid heuehehehehehe

SPEAKING OF (and this ties in a little with my band au) and whenever she drops an epic bassline everyone just stops and stares at her totally being in the zone

🔻: –casually having the time of her life playing a bassline like theres no tomorrow–

🎸: "yo holy crap aya where has this energy been this entire time"

🔻: "huh what do you mean"

HAIR EXTENSIONS!!! ive talked about this on discord before but ayana with naturally shorter hair so she wears hair extensions! (also bc gender euphoria but shhhh)

i also believe that aldryx and tabi had zero idea that she wore them and just believed her hair was naturally long. this is how their conversation went trust;

🔻: " hey guys ^_^"

🩻: ".....did you cut your hair?"

🔻: "no? my hair has always been short"

🎸: "IT HAS??!!??!!??! 😨 I THOUGHT YOUR HAIR WAS JUST REALLY LONG"

🩻: "ME TOO— jesus christ my life is a lie"

🔻: "theyre hair extensions not the holy grail calm down 😭😭😭"

AND NOW THAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT AYANA INTERACTING WITH THE OTHERS, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY AGOTI/AYA DUO HC BC HELLO romantic or platonic these two are fucking adorable, the loserboy + losergirl pairing ever frfr (also bc i hc that theyre really close in age bc iirc ayana's birthday is january 28th so that would make her around 3-4 months younger than agoti to me at least teehee)

those two gossip about anything and everything and every single night they do each other's hair n spend time doing full fledged spa routines while talking shit about anyone and everyone bc theyre high maintenance as hell and take pride in their combined collection of bazillions of good smelling bodywashes and shampoos

🔻: "oh my god, goti i cant believe i forgot to tell you about some crazy interaction i had with someone earlier today i swear its driving me crazy"

📼: "BITCH AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME SOONER? YOU'D BETTER START FROM THE BEGINNING I NEED DETAILS IN FULL"

🔻: "OKOK SO WHAT HAPPENED WAS—"

also she works as a seamstress in her spare time when she's not doing music or baking ^_^ she often uses her expertise to create some outfits (with the help of sketches done by either tabi or agoti) and often has trouble finding someone to be her muse so she often gets dalia to help

she takes this VERY seriously by the way if she hears a singular complaint she will go insane

🎧: "how long is this gonna take 😔😔 my arms are getting sore babe i cant stand like this for much longer"

🔻: "dee i love you but i swear to god if you say that one more time i'm going to stab you with this needle until your arm is red and swollen BE PATIENT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU 😭😭😭"

🎧: "😀😀😀😀😀 youre gonna WHAT"

also. shes got a BIG sweet tooth — she and tabi bond over sweets and trying all sorts of new things together, especially chocolatey things bc theyre both obsessed with chocolate anything

🩻: "aya i went to the store and i found this wafer cake thing and i thought you and i should try it"

🔻: "TABI THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS OMG go grab two spoons right now you and i are eating all of this right now"

🩻: "OKAY SURE :] i can already tell this is gonna taste good"

also sometimes she forgets to eat proper meals and will consistently only have sweets and snacks all day until someone calls her out on it, shes very forgetful, oopsies!

[turmoilcity]

HELLO!!! 😍 do you have like "theme songs" for your paras? i have way too many lmao so i'm curious

Sleep is for the weak.

YESSSSSSSSS!!!

Finally, a reason to ramble bout my paras!

Okay, so THIS VERSION

Plays out like a montage for Lillian and Oscar when they're out at the park or walking around the mall.

IMAGINE. the year is 2006- YES A Y2K AU IS WHAT IVE BEEN SLURPING UP LATELY.

Lillian is the sweet, bubbly cheerleader, Oscar's on the football team. They met at practice one evening and make googly eyes at each other across the field. This song plays when they start talking, hanging out like going to the movies, or to a park, or to an arcadia and crap buuuuuuuuuut this version plays-

At the end of the montage because it cuts to Lillian smiling all dazed at one of those old music stores that used to be in every mall?

One of those types!

So the daydream cuts to "The La's- There she goes" by the end of the song and it sounds kind of warped and the camera is pulling out of Lillian’s face as she's grinning with headphones on and that's the sound coming from the headphones before she takes them off because it turns out to be bothered by her friends because LIKE EVERY ROM COM MUSIC TRANSITION EVER we were just getting a pov of her happy place.

I love those two horny angels

Okay, next isssssss

SONG FOR BELLA

Often, I imagine her as a drummer. This song is one of those songs I imagine her SCREAMING with her awesome, awesome girl band.

This is currently for Dylan, and I will not elaborate.

Lillian on the subject of love basically.

The daydreams usually bright and colorful and fast paced. She has so many iconic looks during this song its criminal.

JENNAS WORK OUT SONG.

Everytime before it starts, I imagine GAME (the agency she works for) goes to her telling her they need her for a "special mission". The issue is, for some reason, Jenna hasn't been using her powers for a while. Usually because she's in Townsville for another mission and has to disguise her special abilities.

The song starts with her being kind of rough with her skill. She's struggling to get up early. Her grades aren't the prettiest. She's dropping weights. She gets the pokey pokey during fencing, and karate lands her on her butt.

Usually, by the first pre chorus she decides to pull out the textbooks, and start from there. She's focusing on her study and then by the chorus she gets a paper back in class with an A+

BY THE SECOND VERSE, she's in the gym. She's doing those rope things

Awe yeah. Now she's getting into it. She's punching the punching bag, deadlifting the squats, perfecting her sword swing

WAKING UP ON TIME FOR PRACTICE.

By the second pre- chorus her fencing has gotten so good, the opponent who first tagged her, gets tagged

And when her opponent takes off their mask, first she looks all out of breath, sweaty and taken aback, but then she gives an equally out of breath, sweaty, Jenna a smile of sportsman ship.

Now Jenna is stepping her game up.

The study is more extreme, but she can handle it as a hyper focused superhuman. The workouts are more extreme as well. She's lifting impossible weights, her fighting is more fluid and agile. She's become the epitome of hard work. Until the last chorus

"So you say I'm complicated...."

She's outside, in a sports bra and shorts. You can see the puff of her breath as she stretches. It's an easy cool, gray morning.

"But you had me underrated..."

She's hooking something up to the front of train rails.

The daydream cuts to a kid playing outside by themselves. He's boredly sucking on a lolipop. The ground is suddenly shaking, startling the kid. When the child looks over their shoulder-

ITS JENNA

PULLING THE TRAIN UP A HILL WITH HER THIGHS.

She's tied some sort of indestructible ROPE from her thighs to the trains front and is walking the train up.

The kid has a moment like the one little boy from incredibles

And yeah. Jenna... WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PULLING TRAINS WITH UR LEGS.

Cause she's dedicated to quality

Duh. Don't let her simple looks fool you. She is 💯 THAT BITCH.

Anyways, she acknowledges the kid, gives an awkward wave before turning the train around and racing it down the hill, pulling it backwards.

It's just another training day for Jenna. Jenna probably thinks, "Well, does the kid want heroes or not?"

The rest of the song is just her doing more insane stuff and yeah. I desperately need sleep c:

[atreehugginghippie]

no, wills confession does not, in fact, also apply to el.

okay so ive seen people try and say that wills speech in the van can still be applied to el- that thats why will was able to even say all of it. and that annoys me so im here to explain how the speech doesnt apply to el at all like every other byler on tumblr !

1. "Because, I mean, without heart {mike}, we'd all fall apart. Even El. Especially El. These past few months, she's been so lost without you."

okay.. so i dont know how to explain this but el is going through a crisis bc she doesnt know who she is. she needs stability, encouragement, love, family and friends. she thinks shes lost her dad, moved from the ONLY place shes ever had anyone, is relentlessly bullied, etc. she doesnt know whats missing because shes never been allowed to figure herself out (from the lab, to hiding, etc). she doesnt know what she wants because shes never been allowed to think about it. she wants mike bc mike is 'easy'. familiar. a reminder. will however- as young as he is- has never seemed to not know himself. hes always seemed to know who he is- even if he hates doesnt like some aspects. and he knows mike, more than anyone probably. will knows whats missing from his life- friends, acceptance- and he knows what would ease it- mike, soft words, reassurance. he wants mike because mike is, well, mike.

2. " It's just, she's so different from other people, and... ( haltingly ) ...when you're... when you're different, sometimes... ( sighs ) ...you feel like a mistake."

agreed. this applies to both el and will. byers twins twinning. cool, moving on to the bigger part of this chunk-

"But you make her feel like she's not a mistake at all. Like she's better for being different"

it always confuses me when people say this speech can also be applied to el but especially because of this part. because just a few eps into the season she was questioning whether or not he sees her as a monster. she was worried he saw her as a monster like everyone else. and the whole 'what did you do? what did you do?' right after the angela hit. and the 'she didnt look fine' at the table. making her feel guilt and shame instead of trying to help and understand. its been like this since season one, really. the 'what did you do' is even, in my opinion, paralleled when el threw lucas in the first season. and the fight he had with her when wills body was found, making her feel guilt. as if it was her fault. it probably feels, to her, that its always her fault when her trauma gets too much or she cant control her powers. so yeah the speech doesnt fit. does it ?

2.5. so this is a continuation of the last quote so reread that and come back.

"And that gives her the courage to fight on."

the vines vecna was choking her with tightened when mike was telling her he loved her. that she was a superhero. that his life started the day he met her. why is that ? i thought he was supposed to give her courage in being different? and why is it that every time she finds her strength its because her loved ones are in danger or hurting. or- and this is super important- it's because she is finding herself. it's bc she had a moment where she accepts herself. it doesnt have anything to do with mike- or anyone else. and her courage, and im not even talking powers here, comes the same way.

3. " If she was mean to you or she seemed like she was pushing you away, it's because she's scared of losing you, like you're scared of losing her. And if she was going to lose you, I... I think she'd rather just get it over with quick. Like ripping off a Band-Aid."

el really wasnt 'mean' to mike. far from it. the only 'blow up' she had at him in season three was a breakup that was framed as a joke and mild eyerolls and comments that were soon forgotten. and in season four the only time she was 'mean' (honest) was the "from mike" scene...

and she was never pushing mike away. he kept her at arms length. she wrote to him constantly, made sure he felt welcomed when visiting, etc. and she didnt lie to keep him distanced, she lied because she thought it would keep everyone happy.

will though, wills been more 'snappish' at mike. less tolerant of his bullshit. will didnt reach out when he couldve. hes terrified that mike will cut him off eventually (esp for his 'secret') and so to save that heartbreak- he thinks of doing it first. but.. he cant. it hurts just as much anyway.

yes, el and mike are scared to lose eachother. theyre scared to lose all their friends. however how this is worded means something different. and its not the way mike and el are scared of losing eachother. el and mike leave fights unresolved. will and mike never want to. why is that ?

4. "So, yeah, El needs you, Mike. And she always will."

then why does el always seem happier when theyre not romantically together ?

el can get on without him as a boyfriend after awhile. she, at the end of the day doesnt need him like that.

everytime will and mike fight its framed as if its just as important as the end of the world. why is that ?

[f-letchershears]

where i am now

its been years since ive logged onto this tumblr account, or tumblr in general. during my time on this platform, i went through the roughest patch of my life. three of my very close family members passed away unexpectedly, leaving 13 year old me with a lot of unanswered questions. my life completely changed so suddenly. since i was only 13, i couldnt comprehend what was happening and i sadly took all of my pent up frustration, sadness, and anger on myself. i continued to do this for years.

as i was still trying to figure out why god took three of my family members away from me, my family broke the news to me that we were going to move away from all of my friends and go to high school in a different city. i got told this news 3 months after the deaths that were in my family, around my 14th birthday. i pretended like i was excited, and that everything was okay.

once we moved into our new house, it was only 2 weeks before my first day of high school. a school where everyone already knew each other. i attended my previous school for 9 years, with the same 30 kids from the year before. the amount of anxiety i was feeling when the first day of school came around was a type of anxiety i will quite never feel again. i threw up before getting on the bus, i begged my mom to not make me get on the bus.

she made me go anyways.

i knew that i needed to make at least one friend. i made that one friend, and her name is Maddy. i will always be so thankful i asked her for directions. we sat together at lunch that day, and for the weeks following.

one day at lunch, before the long labor day weekend, a tall boy with brown eyes sat down at our lunch table filled with other kids that didn't really fit in anywhere else. he told us that some kid named Nick was pissing him off at the table he was sitting at, so he moved to our table.

I asked the brown eyed boy what his name was, and he said his name is Avery. suddenly, Avery is my new favorite name.

Avery and i talked about music. i remember asking him if he liked the band Bad Suns who was, at the time, my favorite band of all time. he said yes, and i remember feeling butterflies. he then asked me if i like King Krule, which of course i had to lie and say that i did because i didnt want him to think i wasnt cool, which i soon found out that he also lied about even knowing who Bad Suns was for the same reasons.

we swapped tumblrs and continued to talk during the long labor day weekend. I remember being at a concert (young the giant), wishing my phone would buzz and it would be a new message from Avery. I will never forget the feeling i felt when my phone did buzz, and it was in fact the brown eyed boy sending me a song to listen to.

i listened to that song over, and over, and over. Courtney Barnett quickly became a new favorite of mine.

after that long weekend, i was so nervous to see him at school again. the butterflies were taking over, he was all i could think about. that morning, we ran into each other and he didnt notice it was me but i surely noticed him. i will never forget that moment, thinking "oh my gosh its him!!!!!"

shortly after that, Avery became my boyfriend. he helped me through the worst part of my life. he was the most supportive, caring, and wholesome boyfriend ever. he constantly made me feel like i was worth something, because to him, i was priceless.

today, Avery is no longer my boyfriend, he is my fiancé.

i am so thankful my mom made me get on the bus.

----------------------------------

now, i am 22, i live on my own, i recuse fiv+ cats, and i am in college. i work a cool job where i met my best friend, and i wake up excited every day. i wake up excited to talk to my friends, to pet my cats, to eat delicious food, to see beautiful places and best of all, i get to do all of these things with Avery, my handsome fiance.

at 13, i didnt think i was even going to make it to 22. shout out to myself for overcoming the worst, for keeping my body unharmed, and for opening up about the need for help.

receiving help for mental health is cool and you should do it, too <3

[agrossofworms]

on sentimentality — a ramble about a beloved pair of shoes.

today i got a new pair of shoes. now, this is not to say i don’t own many pairs of shoes, all equally loved and worn. the doc martens, one black and one white. the converse, one black and one red. the vans, one orange, one brown, one blue, and one white.

this white pair of vans is special. i got them in the early months of 2019, so they’re nearly 5 years old. they’re discontinued, and the only other pair i ever found was a size too small. cream suede sk8-hi with white and black checkered flames on the sides. ive never seen anyone else wearing them. they’re my shoe and always have been since i got them.

when i got them, they were brand new, because the friend i saved the shoes from hadn’t once worn them. i hate tying shoes over and over, so i tied them both loosely, once, and double knotted them. they haven’t come untied once in all five years. since then, the shoes practically molded to my feet.

the problem with this uniqueness is that i can’t replace them. so i wore them to the bone. i still am, i just can’t let go of them. im hoping that this will help me retire these poor shoes. i never cleaned them, i think it’s the purpose of a daily shoe to be worn in until they have to be replaced. the right shoe has been falling apart since fall of 2021, when i went back to school. when i say these shoes have seen it all, i mean it.

i wore these vans to my high school graduation. when i got my first car, which i still drive. i wore them when i met my long-distance partners for the first time. when i went back to school. i brought them with me when my great grandmother died. theyve seen the rise and fall of at least six relationships. they came to my cousin’s bar mitzvah. these shoes were part of one of my first cosplays. theyve seen every fight with my parents in the last five years. i wore those shoes when my “best friend” sat me in the park and told me how much she hated me as a cover for her real feelings. i wore these shoes to see my favorite band in concert. i wore those shoes when i saw my long-distance best friends for the first time. i wore those shoes to meet parents, grandparents, cousins. i wore those shoes through many mistakes and many bad choices. i wore them every day through a move that took me 400 miles further from the people holding hostage my racing heart. i transitioned in these shoes. i’ve spilled bong water on them, i’ve spilled cocktails and dropped lit joints on them. i learned how to skateboard in these shoes. i picked up my first prescription of hormones in these shoes. i finished and presented my high school portfolio in those shoes. i went camping, hiking, running with those shoes because no matter what, they never failed me.

these shoes are part of my soul. i’ll keep them , and probably still wear them. the laces are frayed at the ends to the point that i cant lace them through the top two holes — which remain empty on all my high-top shoes. i need the ankle movement. the left one has a bloodstain on the laces from where i got a nosebleed. i walk heavier on my right foot, and it shows with how torn up the heel is on that shoe. its about to wear all the way through. the red bumper is completely gone. they were once a cream-white, now theyre nearly parchment paper brown— ive traipsed through the rain, mud, sand, dirt, dust and snow in them. the white soles are grey from wear. the sizing label on the tongue is practically gone, similar to the logo on the sole of the shoe. worn smooth by the rigor of daily use.

i like having unique shoes, which is why i got another sort of odd pair. im trying to wear less white shoes, so i got a blue-grey pair.

i hope these ones last me another five years.

[myloveforhergoeson]

chapter 9!! the end was so sweet, all of them celebrating at the ice rink <3 (though, its a bit quick for them to get on the radio, but yknow what for story purposes i get it lol)

i was half expecting, the bathroom scene, for mercedes to point to roxy and be like "you. you seem to have the most braincells out of all of them. you're my new girlfriend" and roxy being able to connect with her for real and make mercedes break. but maybe im just gay and desperate for any wlw relationships on this silly little show ...

anw i rly enjoyed this chapter !! and kendall lifting roxy up was so cute too. the roxy-kendall duo is my second fave next to roxy-carlos interactions aaa!!!

hi!! :)) not to end the last 2 chapters with hockey but i had the idea for the ice rink thing long before i placed it in this particular chapter, i just thought it would be fun for all of them after such a long and stressful day! (even if the radio thing isn't all that realistic... don't worry about it)

also, you're out here writing my chapters better than me! i had a brief idea for mercedes to pick roxy and have them be girlfriends for a little bit but ultimately decided against it because 1. roxy isnt in the band and 2. she didn't like mercedes at all, so i couldn't come up with an ending for that particular part of the story without Roxy going off on her and i didn't want to pit two bad bitches against each other. but don't worry! there are lgbtq+ characters we just haven't met all of them yet :)

and !! i thought the kendall-roxy lift thing was a bit cheesy but like... they're friends... they care a lot about each other... ofc they're going to get through hard times together. and now im trying to remember every roxy-carlos interaction ive ever written and im drawing a complete blank. though, carlos is very, very sweet and i love that about him, so the two of them do really get along (you'll love chapter 10). i've been attempting to push the roxy-logan bestie agenda because i feel like they're the most similar when it comes to decision making and personality, but kendall feels like the type of person who can get along with ANYONE. i had to change a lot of the scenes i had written between roxy-kendall to other band members because looking back over i realized there were SO MANY in the draft it might as well have been a roxy-kendall fic just because hes so good at getting along with others to me... as a james girlie i simply couldn't let that slide... and as for roxy-james we all know how that's going. mans about to lose his girl frfr...

[from-a-reckless-writer]

here lads have an angsty supercorp soulmate story

It starts exactly 24 hours after Kara’s departure. 

It’s subtle at first. It actually reminds Lena of the first few days after they met. 

The slow but steady build-up of pain manifesting itself into little things; shaky hands, dizzy spells, chest pains. The pills help, of course. She’s already ingested 5 pills in the span of 3 hours and she’s contemplating taking more. Just to keep the pain—threatening to overtake her—at bay. But what good would she be if Alex finds her passed out on the floor? Veins chock-full of narcotics? 

So, she wills her hands to stop shaking and pushes on. She sends a text to Jess to send a shipment of pills to her home address; tells her to be discreet. 

She can do it. She’s done it before. She can fucking do it again. And she will bring Kara home. 

Because every moment that passes with them apart, means a step closer to Lena’s death. 

You might think she’s exaggerating, but really she isn’t. See, Kara’s her soul mate, not just in the figure of speech wax-poetic sense but literally Kara’s her soul mate. 

But her being a Luthor of course, soul mates wouldn’t come easy. None of it had ever been easy. Why would this one be an exception? It wasn’t unheard of, no, there were a few rare cases of it being recorded. Of course, Lena would be one of those people. Why wouldn’t the universe add shitty soul mate luck into the long list of misfortunes in Lena’s life? What’s one more curse, right? 

See, Kara’s her soul mate but...Lena isn’t Kara’s.

“You look like shit, Luthor. You’re allowed to take a break you know?” 

It’s Alex who breaks her out of her reverie. She prays to God that Alex doesn't notice her shaking hands. She’s well aware she looks like shit. She feels like shit, she doesn’t need Alex of all people to point that one out. But now, Lena notices that the whole place is empty, she didn’t even notice J’onn slip out. She didn’t even notice Alex coming in too, really. 

Brainy had long passed-out in one of the beds in the MedBay in the 2nd level of The Tower, Nia taking up the opposite bed. There was a brief moment when she walked in that made her feel tempted to occupy the third bed and take a break. But then, her chest tightened and a flare of pain lit up her whole insides, it was reason enough to keep her feet moving and back unto the computers trying to pinpoint Kara’s location. 

“I know,” she replies, “But it’s really not necessary, Alex. I’ll rest after.” 

She doesn’t need rest, what she needs is Kara to be here. 

She refuses to look at Alex, fingers flying across the screen. Alex shifts closer to her, lays a hand on her right arm prompting her to stop. Her eyes land on Alex's hand and continue up to Alex’s eyes. 

“We’ll find her, Lena. But you have to rest. I’m serious, Luthor. Come on,” Alex persists, wrapping her hand more firmly and tugging at Lena to follow her. 

She doesn’t say that rest will do her more harm than good. She doesn’t say that if she closes her eyes all she would see is Kara’s body floating all alone in space and the pain would start anew.

First, her chest and then travelling up the rest of her body until all there is is pain. 

She doesn’t say that she needs to work in order to distract her from the pain. 

Instead, she holds her tongue, lets Alex bring her to the 2nd level and tries to have the most fitful sleep of her life. 

***

It gets worse on the 5th day of the second week. It really isn’t a surprise considering this is the longest she’s had to go without Kara around. 

She’s taken mega-doses of painkillers in anticipation for today. Last night was a nightmare, she had to bite down on a hand towel as waves of pain assaulted her, again and again and again.

When morning came, it slowly subsided. Once feeling had returned to her legs she ran into the kitchen and swallowed 3 pills immediately. 

It doesn’t matter if she’s taken 3 or 4 or a whole bottle today, because it will just get worse and worse the longer Kara isn’t by her side. 

And so, she drags herself into The Tower again, because she needs to finally find a way to bring her back. 

She tries to ignore the tightening of her chest even though she’s really having a hard time breathing now. Not to mention the pain behind her eyes that is bit by bit making it difficult for her to coordinate with Brainy’s computations. 

She’s taken to keeping a bottle of pills on her person now. Opting to take them dry as if they were mint candies to keep her tongue moving while programming lines of codes. 

She thinks she’s still being subtle. 

Well, she is.

Until she isn’t. 

She crumples to the floor in front of everyone and a guttural scream of pain breaks free from her lips. 

***

When she wakes it’s to Alex sitting by her bedside. 

She lets out a groan in response to the sore feeling of her entire body. It’s like the time they were forced to do team building exercises all day in Mt. Helena and Lena nearly passed out. 

Alex hands her a bottle of water. She sips greedily before handing it back and wiping her mouth. 

“Hey? How you feeling?”

“Like I wanna die.”

Alex sighs and Lena intentionally avoids her eyes. 

“It’s Kara isn’t it?” Alex says and Lena doesn’t bother with lying anymore.

“It is.”

“How you survived almost two weeks away from her, I wouldn’t know. Two days away from Kelly—” Alex breaks off, inhales deeply and then sighs again, “That’s already torture for me.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” She retorts flatly, hands fiddling with the rough edges of the blanket. Alex looks like she wants to say something about that but Lena beats her there. 

“How?” She asks, gesturing to the IV drip. How am I not feeling pain right now? How am I still breathing? How am I still alive?

“The DEO created a special fluid for agents,” Alex reveals, “They distribute it to agents on field assignments. That way, them and their partners don’t die from pain. Good thing, J’onn had a stash hidden here, well, we always thought it would be for me and Kelly. Never expected you, Luthor.”

Lena takes that in for a moment. So, the DEO had a special formula of Dextrose to stave off the pain of soulmate separation and apparently she’s using up all the remaining bags of it. 

And it’s not even supposed to be for her. 

“Don’t worry about it. Brainy can replicate the formula.”

Worry must’ve shown on her face. So, she works on schooling her features again, she knows that Alex is itching to ask her questions but is trying to be polite. 

There’s really no use hiding anything now though. 

“K-Kara’s my soulmate,” she finally says out loud, and she’s always thought that it’s supposed to feel cathartic and freeing but instead it just feels heavy. 

“But I’m not hers,” she quickly finishes, better to rip the band-aid off. She briefly looks at Alex, whose face doesn’t give her anything; mouth a tight line and eyes shining with curiosity. 

She doesn’t know if Alex had ever had a conversation with Kara about soul mates before. Had they talked about it? Had Kara ever mentioned Lena acting too clingy whenever they don’t see each other for a short period of time? Had Kara ever told Alex if she would want a soul mate of her own?

But the look and silence from Alex’s side makes Lena refrain from asking. 

Instead, she starts to tell her how it had hit her the instant Kara walked in her office. How there was a zing! and her brain had immediately screamed HER. That’s the one. She’s the one. 

How when they met eyes and Kara had told her her name it felt like Lena’s soul finally found her home. 

“I asked for her name and I kind of thought she’d wait for me to get out of the office,” Lena trails off and Alex takes it for what it is. 

Their first meeting was all sparks for Lena but then, the conversation kept going and going and Clark had tried interrogating her and Kara didn’t do anything. 

Didn’t approach her afterwards, didn’t show any reaction that might’ve given Lena a clue that she felt the way Lena did. 

A conclusion was easily reached. 

Kara was hers but she wasn’t Kara’s. 

After the initial shock settled in, Lena set to work. Because that was what she did best. Work out a solution to everything and anything that poses a problem. 

How many people have dreamed about meeting their soul mate? How many years had Lena sat there hoping that tomorrow maybe, maybe she’ll finally meet them? She never expected this, never expected her soul to find a home that isn’t hers. 

Staying away from Kara was a non-starter, it’s only been a day since they parted but Lena can already feel the beginnings of pain. Slow but sharp shots of throbbing from behind her eyes then came the shaky hands then the dizziness and then— 

They became friends and Lena made sure Kara didn’t know anything about her growing need to be close to her; didn't let Kara know about the fact that the universe made Lena its most epic punchline yet. 

She agreed to scheduled game nights and movie nights and lunch dates. She never knew the pain of soulmate separation during those early days. Kara was always around; bringing her a salad, covering an L-Corp gala, crashing on Lena’s couch. 

“It was easy, you know? Kara was always there. What are friends for?” Lena mimics Kara and then repeats somberly, “It was easy, Alex.”

Or at least, Lena kept telling herself it was easy. She had it easy. She didn’t have to think about painkiller pills or cutting her business trips short—because the pain becomes unbearable too soon—like so many of her board members do. 

She had it easy with Kara, she can just call and she’ll be there. 

Until, Kara started going MIA. And for three days pain overtook her entire life. The pain made her unable to think clearly, the pills kicking in at the last minute. 

“You haven't been around. Supergirl's been there for me. Person who judges me on the very premise of my last name, but my best friend hasn't,” she accuses because Goddamnit Kara has no idea what kind of shit Lena had to endure with her going away with no warning. 

Logically, Lena knows it’s partly her fault. 

She knows that if she only just told Kara that she needs her to live, Kara would stay. But she doesn’t want anything to change. 

Of course, Kara would stay, it was the kind of thing a person like her would do. 

Kara would take care of her, whatever Lena needed she would give. 

But Lena didn’t want things that way. 

She wants Kara to want her the same way she wants her. 

But no, Lena’s not going to tell her that. She is never going to know. She will find an alternative. So, she injects as much venom as she can into that accusation, “B-but maybe it’s better if I leave.” 

She makes Kara leave. 

She just got her cure back and immediately Lena had pushed her away. The moment Kara stepped out of the door, a dull throb already kicked in her chest; as if telling Lena she was making a big mistake. 

She regretted that night so much, Jess had to drag her drunken body out of her office. 

Then it became normal again and Lena went back to not worrying about body pains again. 

Because a different kind of pain is trying to make itself known. 

A gaping hole in her heart that is entirely unrelated to the biological consequences of being separated from your soul mate. 

She was falling in love. 

She was falling in love and she wasn’t prepared for how it would hurt to have Kara not love her back. She can endure the physical pain, there are pills for that. 

But there wasn’t any type of medication to see your other half everyday and not have them see you as theirs. 

When Lex told her Kara’s secret. Something broke inside of her. Which was saying something, considering she was getting her heart broken every single day that Kara wouldn’t look her way. 

But to know how stupid she’s been? To realize that the flutter of her heart whenever Supergirl was near was her brain telling her it was Kara? 

There was no word for that. 

“I think, I kept rejecting the idea of Supergirl being Kara you know?” Lena huffs out, laughs drily, “Imagine how fucking painful it would be, Alex, if Supergirl was my soul mate. This person who didn’t trust me wholly, who lies behind my back, imagine if she was my soul mate? It would have felt humiliating. My body knew better, though,” she admitted sadly. 

“When Lex told me, all the little painful outbursts every time Supergirl flew away? It made sense. Everything made sense, but at the same time? Everything hurt too.”

She tried hurting her back. Created Hope. Experimented with Q-waves. Foolishly used Myriad. Teamed up with Lex.

But even through all of those? The separation pain never knocked her out. 

Even when they were fighting, Kara was still always around. Even when the world—the fucking multiverse got reset. The pain wasn’t enough to knock her out. Not like today. 

Because Kara was always lingering around convincing her not to join Lex, crossing paths in CatCo, flying into her home even if it was to call her a villain. 

All of those interactions were still sustenance for Lena. 

But this? This separation? This knowledge that Kara was somewhere out there, unreachable. That she could be lightyears away in space and it has been two weeks since Lena had last saw her, it has her every molecule shouting to go find Kara. 

“It’s never been like this before,” Lena confesses, “I thought I could do it without-”

“Help?” Alex supplies and Lena finally turns to her and she feels a hand squeeze her. 

“Yeah.” She mutters back softly. 

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong, Luthor. You’re part of the team now whether you like it or not. We are going to help you, we’re going to find a temporary solution for that pain and then we’ll get back to work and we’ll find Kara.”

[the-lonelybarricade]

Loved your latest chapter and Im so excited to see what happens under the mountain!

I was wondering if I could request a one-shot?(up to you how long and you can do it in your own time)something along the lines of:

Feyre( from either ACOWAR, ACOFAS or ACOSF) time travels back to ACOTAR, but instead of finding herself back in her human body i the spring court, she's still in her fae body and ends up trapped in velaris, having to explain to the rest of IC who she is and why she cant go free their highlord(add some mistrust from the IC)

🙈🙈Id its very similar to what youre doing rn with your other fic but, if you find the inspiration sometime could you please do this? Ive wanted to read a fic for ages were feyre rime travels and meets pre-acomaf inner circle who dont know/trust her, but Ive never found a fic like that

Thank youuu

Hi lovely anon! It makes me so happy you enjoyed my latest chapter! I’m supposed to be working on a project for uni, but I couldn’t resist gratifying my lovely friends (because you're anon and won't be notified I was getting sad at the idea of you checking my blog and not seeing me respond) <3 I’ll admit I’m a bit scatterbrained at the moment, so I hope it’s okay!

I was having trouble brainstorming a reason for Feyre getting sent back in time because I didn't want to borrow the reasoning from ACoFD. So I was vague and twisted the pre-existing rules around the Ouroboros, and ended up getting quite carried away with the story since I don’t like not giving things a happy ending (even though it’s a little cheesy, sorry)

Anyway, I hope this is what you were looking for! I know you wanted the angst of not being able to save Rhys but... I couldn't just leave my poor bat-boy behind, you know? ;)

Also if this didn't quite scratch that itch, I'm always happy to take more requests

Word count: 4,446

The Ouroboros.

It was a massive, round disc—as tall as Feyre was. Taller. And the metal around it had been fashioned after a massive serpent, the mirror held within its coils as it devoured its own tail.

Ending and beginning.

From across the room, Feyre could not see it. What lay within.

She forced herself to take a step forward. Another.

The mirror itself was black as night—yet… wholly clear.

She watched herself approach. Watched the arm she had upraised against the wind and snow, the pinched expression on her face. The exhaustion.

She stopped three feet away. She did not dare touch it.

It only showed Feyre herself. Nothing.

Feyre scanned the mirror for any signs of… something to push or touch with her magic. But there was only the devouring head of the serpent, its maw open wide, frost sparkling on its fangs.

Feyre stared and stared, but all she saw was herself. There was nothing else. Then—

Feyre woke with a gasp, sitting up in bed to shake away the cobwebs of sleep and the strange, foreboding feeling that felt draped around her shoulders like a weighted cape, pulling her down. It hadn’t been a particularly horrifying nightmare. In fact, it was perhaps of the tamer dreams she’d had in the last year.

Yet something about it clung to her, perhaps a lingering agitation that she’d yet to retrieve the mirror the Bone Carver had requested. That must be it.

The bed space beside her was cold. The sun peaking through the window was not high, it couldn’t be long past dawn. However worrisome her own dream, her mate’s must have been worse to draw him from sleep so early. Worse still for him to sneak away.

Feyre rose from the bed, reaching absently for Rhysand’s dressing robe to wrap around herself. She always loved to steal her mate’s clothes, to be wrapped in his scent.

With gentle steps, she made her way to the study, where she could only assume Rhys had sequestered himself in the lone hours of the night. She’d noticed the weary draw to his shoulders, the dark circles under his eyes. This war was weighing on him heavily, and he was nervous. Feyre wished he didn’t insist on shouldering the burden alone.

“Rhys?” Feyre called softly as she got to the study, knocking on the door before she cracked it open.

Peeking her head around the door, she was met with the sight of Rhysand’s abandoned study. The scattered papers and war maps that had become characteristic of his desk space were surprisingly missing. In fact, the whole space had been cleared away and there was a thick layer of dust on every surface as if no one had been in here in years.

Feyre frowned at the sight, and how different it had been just the day before. Where had all the dust come from? And more importantly, where was Rhys? Perhaps he’d taken a morning flight to clear his head.

Where are you, love? She called to him through the mating bond, but was met with silence.

“Who are you?”

The voice was cold and venomous. Feyre turned, coming face to face with Mor, whose face was twisted into a threatening scowl.

“Mor?” Feyre asked, confused by her friend’s cold demeanor. “What do you mean? Have you seen Rhys?”

Mor’s face turned deadly, a look Feyre had only ever seen from Mor in the Court of Nightmares. “Is that some kind of joke?” she snarled.

Then, before Feyre could process what was happening, Mor had gripped onto Feyre’s wrist and they were enveloped in darkness. They stepped into the House of Wind, into the dining room where Cassian and Azriel abruptly stood up.

“Mor?” Feyre questioned when the blonde didn’t release her steel grip. She looked to Cassian and Azriel quizzically. “Guys? What’s going on?”

Cassian crossed his arms, assessing Feyre with a hostility that put her on edge. “Who’s this, Mor?” he asked gruffly.

Feyre frowned as she watched Azriel reach for Truth-Teller.

“Is this a joke?” she asked, flitting her eyes to each of her friends. Where she sought that friendly warmth in each of their gazes she was met with hard stares, filled with distrust, ready for a brawl. She couldn’t make sense of it. Was this an act Rhys had put them up to?

“I found her in the townhouse,” Mor said. “I don’t know how she got in there. She was in Rhysand’s study.”

“And she’s wearing his dressing gown,” Azriel noted dryly. Cassian did a double glance, his eyes going wide, then narrowing with a rage Feyre had never seen from the male. Certainly never directed at her.

There was a whisper of shadow, then suddenly Azriel was behind her, Truth-Teller poised at her throat.

Feyre startled. “Azriel!” she said sharply. Even if it was a joke, Feyre couldn’t imagine Rhysand would sanction this kind of threat. And the energy in the room was off, the tension too thick. “Stand down.”

“And who are you,” he breathed in her ear, his voice coated in shadow and nightmare, “to command the Shadowsinger of the Night Court?”

“I’m your High Lady,” Feyre answered steadily, not letting Azriel’s shadows, nor cunning voice, shake her resolve. “Now, I don’t know what is going on with the three of you, or what strange joke you’re trying to pull, but you will listen to what I say. Put. Your. Knife. Down.”

“High Lady?” Cassian repeated with a snort of disbelief. “You’ve got balls, little girl.”

Truth-Teller danced across the skin of her neck, pressing lightly enough to intimidate without breaking skin. “Do you even know to whom you speak? You should be bowing before the acting Queen of the Night Court.”

Too stunned to properly resist, Azriel kicked his feet out to knock Feyre to her knees in front of Mor. His fingers slid into her hair, gripping it tightly to pull her head back as Truth-Teller resumed its threatening position at her throat.

“Breaking into the High Lord’s personal residence, impersonating a high position within the Night Court, lying to the Morrigan’s face,” Azriel listed, increasing the pressure of the blade with each transgression. “You throw our High Lord’s generosity and protection in his face, something we as his acting Court do not take lightly.”

“Acting court? Acting Queen?” Feyre repeated, feeling as if she’d woken to a different reality. “What are you talking about? Where’s Rhysand!?”

“We’re the ones asking the questions here,” Cassian growled.

Feyre looked to each of her friends, studying their faces. Beyond their militant expression, she could see their grief. Could smell it. She repeated, “where is Rhysand?”

She felt the snarl that rumbled through Azriel’s chest behind her, vibrating against her back. When the question was once again unanswered, Feyre abandoned all sense of patience.

Darkness exploded through the room. She heard Mor gasp as the walls of the House shook from the might of her power. Feyre folded into the shadows, winnowing out of Azriel’s grasp so she stood in the center of the three of them.

“Az, Cass, Mor, you are my friends and I do not want to hurt you. But I am also your High Lady and you will answer me this instant, where is Rhys? Where is my mate!?”

Siphons gleamed red and blue through the thick tendrils of night, illuminating the Illyrian males’ faces. Cassian’s jaw had fallen open, while Azriel was studying her through narrowed eyes, wisps of shadow surrounding him. Feyre wondered what they were whispering to him.

“Mate?” Cassian echoed, the first to break the heavy silence.

Mor took a cautious step forward, her countenance completely changed. Her pupils were blown wide, twin brown depths churning with sorrow and gentle astonishment. Azriel went rigid at Mor’s approach, but no one moved to stop her as she came face to face with Feyre.

“Where did you get this?” she whispered, taking Feyre’s left hand, eye fixed on her mating band. On the sapphire-star ring that once belonged to Rhysand’s mother.

All eyes befell the subject of Mor’s attention. Cassian swore softly in recognition.

“It’s my mating band,” Feyre answered measuredly, still puzzled that the inner circle, her family, didn’t seem to have any memory of it. Nor of her. “I won it from the Weaver, as was the task set by Rhysand’s mother. But you were all there for that. I don’t understand what’s going on. Where. Is. Rhys?”

“Under the Mountain,” Mor whispered, her voice soft and pained.

The darkness ebbed away like a receding tide. Feyre felt her heart sink as she tried to process this information. “He—What?”

“He’s been Under the Mountain for the last 50 years,” Mor said, firmer this time. “And if you were his so-called mate, you would know that.”

“No,” Feyre said, shaking her head vehemently. “No, that’s impossible. We got out. We—”

This was a nightmare. It had to be a nightmare, and she just hadn’t woken up from it.

“Amarantha’s dead,” Feyre insisted, mostly in an attempt to console the unparalleled grief and panic that were raging inside her. “She’s dead, and Rhys and I got out.”

The grim faces of her friends said otherwise. They stared at her, in unbearable mixtures of pity and horror.

“I think she’s having a mental break,” Cassian said, not unkindly. “Should we get a healer?”

“Let me show you,” Feyre said meekly, casting her magic out to tap on their mental shields.

They all tensed, clearly not aware they’d been in the presence of a daemati. Trained well by Rhys, they all cracked their shields just enough for Feyre to send her conjured memories through. She showed them going Under the Mountain as a human, winning the trials and being resurrected, falling in love with Rhys, and eventually becoming High Lady of the Night Court. In turn, the three of them pushed back their own memories, of the current state of the world. Of Rhysand sacrificing himself so that his Court and Velaris would be safe.

A sob broke out of Feyre. “How is this possible? How am I here?”

It was Azriel who immediately went for the jugular. “More importantly, if you’re here as a High Fae, how is Rhys going to get out? How do we stop Amarantha?”

Feyre fell to her knees, grief-stricken by this realization. She was no longer human. She couldn’t stride in as Tamlin’s human lover and undergo the trials. Feyre had her powers, but they were untested. Would she be able to take on the whole of Amarantha’s court?

“What do I do? How do I save him?” she whimpered, staring in mute horror at her mating band.

Mor tentatively reached forward, laying a comforting hand on Feyre’s shoulder. “Rhys sacrificed himself to keep the people he loves safe. He wouldn’t want you getting yourself killed trying to save him.”

“I have to try,” Feyre answered desperately. “Amarantha she’s…” Feyre couldn’t bring herself to say the word, rape. Not to his family, who wear his sacrifice for them like an open wound. “She’s doing unspeakable things to him. He’s suffering so much. I can’t leave him to that fate. I have to try.”

With renewed conviction, Feyre accepted Mor’s outstretched hand and picked herself to her feet. “Rhys said it himself once. Amarantha’s biggest weapon is that she keeps the High Lord’s power contained. She can’t access them herself. But I… I have access to all the High Lords’ powers. And that bitch has my mate. My wrath will be plenty to take her down.” She faced her friends, who watched her warily. “You have my word as your High Lady,” she swore to them. “The High Queen of Prythian is going to fall by the night’s end.”

⟡⟡⟡

Winter had not yet fallen in the Mortal Lands. Feyre wondered if across the world, there was a version of herself curled in a bed with her sisters, clinging to any shred of warmth and survival.

That version of Feyre was very different from the version who strode up the sloping hills of the Spring Court with Azriel by her side. Rhys would be furious that Feyre had allowed him to accompany her. Should anything go wrong, it would destroy her mate to know his family had been put in harm's way after everything he’d done to protect them. Which was why it was only Azriel who came with, the only compromise she could reach with his Inner Circle, who insisted on coming with.

Who better to sneak into the Mountain with than the very soldier who taught Feyre the art of stealth. He was the obvious choice, since Mor needed to stay to rule the Night Court and Cassian was too heavy-handed to handle such a delicate task.

Their footfall was silent. Feyre wrapped them in the shadow of Night as they winnowed through the cave network. Her heart hammered in her chest, panicked to be back in the source of so many nightmares.

But Rhysand was more important than her fear. For him, she would not falter.

With the Shadowsinger by her side, Feyre snuck through the winding tunnels until she came to a familiar passageway. They slid into a massive, dark bedroom, lit only by a few candles.

To attack Amarantha in the throne room would be too messy. Too many variables to contend with, should Amarantha have enough wit about her to use any faeries as a shield. Especially Rhysand.

After several hours of waiting, the lock on the door clicked and swung open. Darkness swirled around the room as Rhysand took in the sight of Feyre and Azriel on the bed.

Immediately, the door slammed shut.

“No,” he whispered, voice dripping with horror. “No.”

“Rhys—” Feyre started, but her mate wasn’t paying any attention to her. He was looking at Azriel as if his whole world had shattered.

“Leave,” he said, his voice cold and commanding. This was no happy reunion between brothers. This was Rhysand’s worst nightmare. “Leave this instant, you stupid fool. That is, if you’re lucky enough to have avoided detection when you passed under her wards.”

“I took down the wards,” Feyre said. They weren’t particularly strong, either. Amarantha had gotten lazy, perhaps thinking herself secure with the only spell-cleaver under her control. Or so she believed.

Rhys turned that quiet fury towards her. “And who are you?”

“Your mate,” Feyre answered steadily, tipping her chin up.

Rhysand laughed. A desperate, humorless sound. “Then you are just as foolish as my idiot brother. And you have both sealed your deaths by being here. Do you understand that?”

Feyre scratched along those familiar adamantite shields. Rhys’s eyes flickered in surprise, but otherwise he looked unruffled as he cracked a sliver open for her.

It would be unwise to underestimate me, mate.

I wouldn’t be going around boasting about such a thing, if what you claim is even true, came his icy response. And I wouldn’t count on a few party tricks to save you, either.

And what if I told you, she purred, that I possess the power of all seven High Lords?

That, at least, garnered a reaction from the stoic male. He narrowed his eyes in disbelief, studying Feyre carefully. His gaze caught on her hands, at the lace tattoos that flowed to her fingers. And the mating band she still wore.

Feyre watched those violet eyes go wide, the silver constellations dancing in astonishment at the sight of his mother’s ring.

Where did you get that?

It’s a long story, love, but you’re going to have to trust me. She lowered her mental shields completely. Have a look for yourself. I’m telling you no lies. I am your High Lady, and I am here to free my husband.

She felt those familiar talons wrap around her mind. A foolish thing to do, to give a daemati unrestricted access to her mind. And if it were anyone but Rhys, it would have been. But his touch was gentle, and he took only the information he needed.

“I don’t understand how this is possible,” he whispered, breaking the silence of the room. Azriel had been waiting patiently, but looked relieved to be included in the conversation once more. “And I hate that you’ve put yourselves in danger for this, but it could work.”

Rhys considered for a long moment, then he looked between Feyre and Azriel and said, “do it when she’s sleeping. That bitch has been playing dirty for 50 years, you might as well level the playing field to give yourselves the best chance. Let’s do it tonight. I’ll leave the door unlocked, wear her out, and signal you once she’s asleep. Her spell prevents me from harming her, but I’ll make sure she’s restrained. All you have to do is drive the ash dagger through her heart, but have your magic ready for damage control.”

⟡⟡⟡

Feyre and Azriel waited in Rhysand’s bedchambers for his signal. There was a revelry tonight, as there was every night Under the Mountain, and Rhys was expected to be in attendance. Afterwards, he’d join Amarantha in her bed and make sure she was, in his words, “thoroughly exhausted”.

It was torturous for Feyre. To know exactly what the implication in those words were, to have to use her mate’s body in such a way. She wanted to roar at the Mountain, at the Cauldron, at anything that would listen, but instead she was next to the quiet, brooding Shadowsinger, and lamented in silence.

She’d begged Rhys to reconsider, to perhaps help them stage a more physical encounter that didn’t rely on his own suffering. But he’d denied any plan but the one he’d proposed, insisting it would cause him more anguish to but Feyre and Azriel in harm's way.

So they waited the long, agonizing hours until she felt a delicate pull at her chest. She’s asleep, Rhys called. Be on your guard.

He sent her directions to Amarantha’s bedchambers. There were guards outside, but Feyre and Azriel winnowed past them, cloaked in night and shadow.

Amarantha’s bedchambers were huge. Feyre had never been inside them before, but she was unsurprised to see they provided any luxury a High Queen could wish for.

Atop a large bed of red, silken sheets, lay her mate and Amarantha, both stark naked. The smell of sex clung to the air, Rhysand and Amarantha’s scents intertwined. Feyre thought she might be sick.

Even more sickening was the sight before her, of Amarantha’s arms restrained to the headboard in cloth. A clever way for Rhys to restrain her under the guise of sex, but horrifying nonetheless, to see the proof of what they’d been up to. The female was fast asleep, so convinced of her authority that she could fall asleep tied-up and not feel vulnerable doing so. How satisfying, Feyre thought, that such arrogance would be her downfall.

Feyre warded the room, putting up a shield of darkness so that no sound would break through to alert the guards. Rhys watched their approach warily from where he perched beside Amarantha, so still Feyre was convinced he held his breath.

He wouldn’t risk moving to wake her up, which terrified Feyre. Should something go wrong, her mate would be susceptible to Amarantha’s wrath. Naked, vulnerable, and completely under her control. It was such a dangerous game they were playing.

The room was as quiet and still as the bewitching hours of the night, their footsteps silent as they picked across the room. Azriel held the ash dagger. If Rhys could not kill Amarantha, his brother wanted to do it on his behalf. Meanwhile, Feyre summoned tendrils of night that carefully wrapped around Amarantha’s legs, slithering up her body like a snake, ready to constrict and restrain.

The female stirred in her sleep, perhaps feeling the ghostlike touch of Feyre’s magic. But she did not wake. Not as Azriel raised the dagger over her chest, and not as he plunged it down.

Amarantha’s eyes shot open as the dagger pierced her chest. She let out a shriek of agony and ire, moving to claw at her attacker. She raged against the restraints, spewing obscenities until they died at her lips as the blade sunk into her heart.

Rhysand’s chest was heaving as he watched the female still, then slump. He looked from her dead body, to Azriel and Feyre.

Feyre’s heart sank as she watched her mate process that it was truly over. There wasn’t a trace of elation in his eyes at being liberated, but she understood why. Rhys would finally be returning home, but as a much different man than the one he had been. He’d survived, but not unscathed, and he’d need time to process this.

Feyre came to him, reached towards her mate with the hand that bore his mother’s ring. Rhys looked to it, then up to her. His eyes were clouded with sorrow, with a melancholy she could only hope to chip away at in time. But she could see stirring beneath it was a breath of hope, perhaps the first he’d allowed himself in a long time.

“Let’s go home, Rhys,” she said gently.

Slowly, Rhysand nodded, moving to grasp her hand. She felt him jolt at the touch and, as she glanced at him questioningly, she saw his lips part in wonder.

I suppose you weren’t lying about being my mate, he whispered, the words a sensual brush in her mind. Thank you for coming to rescue me, High Lady.

Feyre grasped onto Azriel, and together the three of them stepped into darkness.

Then, they were above the House of Wind, tumbling through the night sky. Feyre unfurled her wings before Rhys could move to catch them, worried that her mate would struggle after 50 years without flight.

Both males stared in astonishment at the sight. Rhysand’s eyes danced in awe as Feyre, albeit clumsily, carried them to the training ring on the roof.

Rhys snapped his own wings open as they landed. Feyre watched him tilt his head back in rapture as he felt the wind against his wings for the first time in decades. Then he opened his eyes, his expression shifting to reverence as he beheld the night sky.

“I was beginning to think I’d never see it again,” he whispered, his voice a heartbreaking blend of exaltation and disbelief. “And for this gift… for my salvation to be courtesy of my mate and of my brother… I’m a bit overwhelmed,” he admitted sheepishly.

Feyre hesitated. If this was the Rhysand from before, the one to which she was mated and married, she would come to comfort him. But this version of Rhys had only just been freed from enslavement, and she didn’t know what he needed.

As though sensing her hesitation, Rhys cast his eyes back to the sky. “I know they’re all waiting for me downstairs, but I’d like a little bit of time with the stars. Will you let them know, Az?”

Azriel nodded, though he seemed conflicted. His reunion with his brother was perhaps not as merry as the male had expected. But right now, she knew the Inner Circle would hardly deny Rhys anything. Perhaps for a long while yet. So Azriel headed downstairs to inform their friends, who were sure to be anxiously awaiting their arrival.

Rhysand regarded Feyre carefully once the two of them were alone. “Mate and High Lady,” he mused. “You seem to wear many hats.”

“You forgot ‘wife’,” Feyre said lightly.

“Yes, and ‘Salvation’, ‘Queen Killer’, ‘Most Beautiful Female in Prythian’, it seems there’s many things I could call you. Could we start with your name, perchance?”

Feyre was shocked. She’d assumed he’d taken such information out of her mind earlier, but it seems he’d been even more respectful than she’d expected.

“Feyre,” she answered. “My name is Feyre.”

He looked wonderstruck. “Feyre,” he repeated, testing the name on his lips. A gentle smile curled at the corners of his mouth, the first she’d seen from him yet. He extended his hand towards her. “Would you like to watch the stars with me, Feyre?”

It was an offer she couldn’t refuse. Her hand found his with all the casual grace of a dancer, as if it were a routine they’d been perfecting their whole lives. Their fingers interlocked and as one, they stared up at the dazzling night sky.

This reality wasn’t perfect, Feyre thought. This Rhys was different from her own, and he still had a lot of healing to do. But if she could be there for him, to help him in a ways she hadn’t before, then she would be grateful to the strange eddies of the Cauldron for bringing her here. For allowing her to end his torment early. For giving them this extra time.

She watched a shooting star dart across the sky and smiled as it passed. There was nothing she could wish for except that her mate find peace in all that he’d endured the last half century.

His deep, velvety voice cut through the silence. “Do you often wish on stars, Feyre?”

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He was watching her with a heart-wrenching wistfulness.

“Only when I have a wish worthy of the stars.”

“And do you?”

Feyre looked to the northernmost star, which shined brightest in the sky. “I wished for a light in the darkness,” she told him. “I don’t think the stars would ever begrudge such a wish.”

Rhysand nodded solemnly. “It’s true that they would be begrudging themselves in doing so. But I see no need for you to wish for such a thing.”

Feyre looked to him. He was still watching her, but something in him had shifted. He was smiling at her gently, that lingering sadness already receding. “Why’s that?” she asked cautiously.

That gentle smile widened, showing off his brilliant teeth. “Why, Feyre, to find such a thing, all you’d need to do is look in a mirror.”

[mythicmalasada]

sayu + kazuxiaobenlumi dynamics (because she’s adorable and i love her) under the cut ↓

kazuha

the second one she manages to warm up to, kazuha has a certain, natural way with kids that leaves the others’ heads spinning

he’s gentle with her where lumine is motherly and bennett is fun and xiao is brotherly; he sings her lullabies and finds her pretty flowers to put in her hair, he calls her beautiful and helps her sew her tail back together when it gets tattered in a fight, he combs her hair and he holds her hand when they walk through the busy inazuma square at noon, lifting her up onto his shoulders when it gets too crowded with the threat of sweeping her away

its in these moments that sayu feels like she’s on top of the world, as if that growth spurt she so desperately craves has finally come true 

he relates to her the night she cries telling him about her past, her master who had abandoned her and how lonely she felt being out there all alone. he gets it when she paws wildly at her vision and sobs about how she hates it and loves it still because it makes her strong, but it makes her a bad person in the eyes of the shogunate. sayu doesn’t want to be a target, a villain; she wants to be loved. if nothing else, kazuha understands that feeling completely.

kazuha is patient, yet smart, keen and diligent; out of all of them, he’s the best when it comes to finding sayu in her little games of hide and seek

he’s also the best at reading her. lumine is a workaholic, yet kazuha knows when it’s best to stop and smell the flowers, to bask in the sun; if lumine recommends an expedition, he’s the one to catch the droop of sayu’s shoulders and suggest a nap on a warm rock

likewise is kazuha the chef of the group, the most meticulous one when it comes to cooking food and cooking it well; more often than not, you’ll catch him giving sayu a special plate of onigiri with a small smiley face on it decorated in seaweed, or eggs served in the shape of tanuki

xiao

through all of his years, xiao has never liked children. not in an outwardly malicious way, he’s just conditioned himself to be so thorough with violence and darkness and death that he does not enjoy the thought of a child being in his presence

he initially thinks this when he meets sayu, though after learning about her past (as is with the anemo users), he lightens up a bit

never in all his time alive has anyone ever managed to sneak up on him, xiao, the yaksha guardian adeptus. the first who happens to manage is the little mujina ninja, sayu

they’re having a party at lumine’s teapot with all their friends, and the clatter from the kitchen is too much. xiao goes to sit on a rocky hill outside and eat his slice of cake in silence

he’s staring at the sunset when a small “hi” sends him flying about 20 feet into the air, fumbling with his spear and flustered

he turns, pointing his jade spear at her and breathing heavy, and demands “how did you do that?!” to which sayu replies, “that’s the last slice of cake. can i have it”

sayu sits next to him on the hill and he numbly hands her over the plate, patting her head hesitantly as he tries to shake himself out of his shock

“listen, um. sayu. what happened when you came up here... no it didn’t. i did that on purpose, okay? to make you feel better. you didn’t startle me.” “...right, mr. xiao”

xiao is begrudging to admit she’s adorable and he wants her around, because in all honesty, he thinks it’d be safer if she stayed far away. he worries about her when he figures they’re overworking her (after all, it is hard to match pace with 4 seasoned adventurers), but he’s also learned not to underestimate her

there’s been times when he thought sayu was behind him, holding his hand out to the side and walking backwards saying “ive got you” before looking up and realizing she’s already out there kicking ass

once she catches him training and xiao pretends as if he doesn’t notice her watching, going through his attack movements slowly so sayu can mimic him

when they’re walking back from late night commissions or quests and sayu’s eyes get heavy, xiao’s the one that picks her up and leans his head against hers as she drifts off, holding her tight to his chest even when lumine looks at him all smug 

bennett

he tries so, so hard to get sayu to like him. he tells her jokes, he gets her presents, he offers to hang out with her whenever she’s alone, but that bennett luck kicks in and for some reason sayu seems... scared of him for the longest time

(she probably saw him trip over himself and set their camp on fire and figured that was scary, and that she should avoid him. for good reason)

i mentioned in this post that bennett and lumine often sleep in the same sleeping bag/bed at the inn in order to soothe lumine’s touch-hunger, and when sayu comes along, the girl doesn’t think anything of it when she follows lumine into bennett’s bed at night, of which leads to bennett with an armful of both lumine and sayu

he and lumine lay on their sides, bennett’s forehead nudging against lumine’s, sayu laying between them with her head against their chests. and when sayu’s lil hands reach up unconsciously in the night to grasp onto bennett’s, he has to suppress a squeal so as to not wake the girls up

sayu once mentions how people make her perform as some sort of act at festivals as a cutesy form of entertainment and how degrading it feels to herself and her art, and bennett bursts into tears both because it’s sad and because he’s been feeling the exact same way since he was a kid. singled out and used for the betterment of others, at a cost to yourself

bennett reads to sayu, almost every night, sometimes even on the road. xiao, lumine, and kazuha say nothing as bennett and sayu trail behind reading aloud because admittedly they too are interested in the plot

they probably get around to reading xingqiu’s book one day, and the day in which they stay over at the commerce guild, xingqiu comes in to say goodnight and overhears bennett reading to sayu what sounds an awful lot like his own writing

they attend a festival once that has a small band of musicians. bennett pulls sayu into a dance, smiling and festive as the band rattles off folk music and bennett twirls her around and around and she laughs 

lumine

sayu sees lumine as the mother figure she never had, the most innately comforting of the four that she can fall back on at all times. from the moment they meet there’s barely a second of foreign distrust before sayu leans in to lumine and immediately trusts her

lumine had reservations about taking sayu into her team when they first met, but upon realizing that everyone she’d ever gotten to trust had abandoned her, she decides that her and her team are the best way to help mend that broken heart. kazuxiaobenlumi together is lovely

the others are very, very jealous of just how easily lumine got on sayu’s good side

lumine loves doing sayu’s hair!! braiding it, threading the flowers that kazuha gives her into it, putting it up in lil buns

sometimes lumi will spend 10 mins doing her hair just for sayu to come back 30 mins later with it purposefully mussed up just so she can have lumine’s fingers carding through her hair again, and lumine can’t find it in her to be angry

sayu is often found trailing lumine around

they stop at the kamisato estate to speak to ayaka about something, and one of the guards laughs and gestures behind lumine, saying “looks like you’ve got a shadow” and it’s just sayu following her

sayu uses her ninja art to sneak into all the places she shouldn’t in order to follow lumine; ie, the kamisato estate, beidou’s ship, the golden house when she goes for a childe rematch, even the knights of favonius headquarters when lumi goes to speak to jean

lumine and sayu hugs are so so good and wholesome

lumine always manages to keep an eye on sayu during battle, making sure she’s alright. she let sayu into the team, but she’d be crushed if she ever got hurt

sayu can’t sleep at night unless she knows lumine is nearby 

sayu is hard to find when she hides, but she comes out easily when she knows lumine is looking for her 

[creativeashproductions]

What If...? IV // Alive!Luke Patterson

Summary: 1997 and 1998 are big years for Luke Patterson and his fiancée with their engagement and wedding planning. If you thought wedding planning and the wedding itself was the big things well, you’d be wrong. I mean this is the couple that almost ended with a car accident. Join the year long adventure.

Warnings: Swearing, pregnancy, minor angst, sweet groom!Luke, and fluff

Words: 3.3k

Requested: By @beautifulblogsblog. There is one more part after this. 🥺😭

A/N: It’s finally here! The Patterson-Y/L/N wedding makes its appearance here and a little cameo of a future character. The next part is the last part in the miniseries as well. Enjoy.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX PLEASE!

Masterlist

Hollywood 1997

An entire year had flown by from the day of your engagement to Luke filled with frustration, elation and greatness. Sunset Curve toured around California, leaving the Y/L/N-Patterson women to plan the wedding. Nineteen years old now in the modestly sized apartment, Luke sat beside you in the bathroom.

Two nervous teenagers a mere month away from their wedding day they cuddled each other eyes pinned at the floor. Apprehensive of the stick that held power to change everything in their lives. For the last week, you hadn’t felt very well with being tired and nausea laying you out in bed.

“It’s been long enough.” Luke murmured reaching for the test, “No matter what. I love you.”

Kissing his cheek, the two of you slumped at the negative with surprising emotion. The negative greatly disappointed you.

“I’m sorry,” Luke mumbled to his fiancée equally torn up because while the timing wasn’t perfect, he had pictured what life would be like.

A tiny baby growing in his fiancée womb, growing into bump made flutters in his belly. Of love, he already felt for your future unborn children and snuggling his kids. Introducing them to his loved ones and bonding over music. Teaching his son or daughter how to play the guitar.

He’d love to see his parents cradle a new addition to the family freshly born with the tiny knit hat Emily couldn’t resist making. Sharing a celebratory beer with his father and wisdom for the coming years. To learn the parental reason of why they had been against his career choice.

“I really wanted it to be positive.” You admitted playing with your fingers disappointed at being wrong about your body. Luke smiled as your words as he grabbed your hand in his calloused grip.

“Do you…do you want to try for a baby?” Luke trailed off flushing at how beautiful you would look growing his child. The bathroom was quiet as you thought the idea over, “With the tour just finishing the band will be writing music and recording. I could be here for the whole pregnancy and birth.”

“If we get pregnant in the next month. But we’re also getting married in a few months.” You sighed leaning to rest about his bare arm staring at the pregnancy test.

“If it happens then it happens.” Luke spoke, “If you want, we can try.”

Raising your eyes to meet Luke’s you hesitantly nodded at his words as it settled that is there ever a perfect time to get pregnant? So many people struggle with conception like your parents did with you; your mother’s labour was so complicated that you’d never have siblings.

“Okay.” Luke breathed, standing up to scoop you into his arms, “Best get on with it.”

The laughter filled the simple bedroom as Luke crawled over your body to hover with a matching smile. There was no one else in the world that could get his heart fluttering and focus on something other than music. It was terrific, and he couldn’t be mad about.

“So, Rockstar…are you gonna help?” You whispered tugging on the chain of his necklace to drag his face closer. Closing the distance, Luke’s lips brushed yours before time stopped in a collision of senses.

The callouses of his fingers trailing a fire under the flowing shirt chosen for the lunch date earlier. The warmth of his hands nowhere close enough to match the heat your body burnt with. The taste of the cherry chapstick he shamelessly stole from you, but it was the heady scent of Luke that got you.

 Luke heavily breathed as he pulled back with a hazy gaze with the green almost overtaken by the black pupils. No hesitation as your lips sucked on his neck, bringing a gravelly moan from the man over you, a sound that caused your lower half to clench. Legs unable to fully close as his fingers drew symbols on your inner thigh.

Symbols that spelt out his full name. Now that was really hot.

A gasp pulled from your throat you arched as a hand came up to cup your breast in his hand; Luke could argue all he wanted, but he was boob man when it came to you.

Thoughts disappearing the ecstasy with the love of your life overtook your senses.

July 1998

The white dress was a little snugger than the previous month, but you had a good reason for it. A tiny little blob had taken up residence in your womb with a sickness that lasts all day from day one until the start of trimester two. Getting pregnant had to be easy with Luke from the number of times.

Didn’t matter where you were when Luke tugged you away. The small bathroom in the studio? Three times.

Luke’s couch? Yeah, Alex refuses to sit there now.

At this point, you had been everywhere, trying for a baby was incredibly fun, but the hormones sucked. Luke’s deft fingers creating the chords of a song? Bobby banned you from rehearsals, and you had an emergency bag of clothes as well.

“You look gorgeous.” Nancy Y/L/N told her daughter with tears glittering in her eyes as she took in the sight of her daughter. The wedding dress the bridesmaids, mother’s and Alex had hunted for; the boy had tagged along as he was like a brother. Reggie, Bobby and Luke had spent the day with Mitch and Lance.

A sob broke from the lips of Lance; his baby girl no longer needed him with her soon to be husband. There was no one in the world he trusted more with his daughter than Luke Patterson. The boy never placed the band ahead of his fiancée, and it was quickly noticed how much Luke adored the Y/L/N girl.

“Dad.” You spoke, rushing to hug the man in your arms, “Stop crying. You’ll make me cry.”

Lance was able to hold his tears until the music started and the doors opened to the venue that Luke’s parents married in. Luke stood at the altar with Bobby, Alex, and Reggie. On the opposite side stood your best friend, a childhood friend and your close cousin.

“You look beautiful,” Dad told you slowly making their way to the man cupping his hands over his face. Overtaken by your beauty and the glow, Luke thanked Lance.

“Baby, you look like an Angel,” Luke whispered, squeezing your hands tightly in his as the ceremony began.

“It’s rare that one can find their soulmate, the other half of themselves on such a large plant. Luke and Y/N orbited each other as young children and fell in love in a perfect place. For those of you who don’t know, these two met as a concert. The first step to falling in love. Music is important to this couple.” The officiant spoke, “Luke’s mother told me once that music tethered their souls together, they truly met at a concert, and every important moment had a song.”

Luke’s eyes watered meeting the brown of his mother’s love-filled eyes holding hands with her husband. Luke had no clue how much his mother came to accept, and he felt the relationship fully fix itself as it settled that his Mom had personally made the ceremony better.

 “These two souls came together and became one. Luke and Y/N’s love is rare and beautiful. Today these two had decided to make their own vows.” The officiant finished, “Luke if you could start.”

“There has always music in my heart and soul since childhood. I adored listening and begging my parents for new music. My parents, one year, gave me a guitar as a gift, and it started a deep passion in my soul. I made a band with my best friends, and the band brought me to a person that would become more important. Y/N, I had had a crush on you for a long time before you first spoke to me. I had hit Reggie in the calf with my father’s car, and you made a joke about my height. It wouldn’t be until years later than I somehow convinced you to take a chance.” Luke squeezed your hands, “I love music because it brought me to you.”

“Luke. I am absolutely positive that I have loved you for more than this lifetime as my love is so vast and deep. I believe we have been destined since the dawn of time to find each other together by music. I can’t compete with your vows because you have a way with words with the songwriting you’ve done. You’ve been there through the hard times and best times holding my hand ready to catch me if I fell. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives catching each other when we need it.”

“May the rings be presented?” The officiant asked with a smile as your best friend and Alex gave the rings.

“With this ring, I thee wed,” Luke whispered as he slid the band to rest against your engagement ring. You repeated the words as you slid the band on his finger as well.

“I now pronounce you as man and wife. Mr. Patterson, you may kiss your wife.” The officiant spoke, sending the room into applause.

You and Luke ran down the aisle still holding hands with the biggest smiles of your entire life to the limo that would deliver you to the reception. Luke couldn’t help himself as he pressed kisses all over. This was a glorious day for the musician, his career was going really well, and he married the most beautiful girl.

“God, I love you.” Luke murmured to the girl in the white dress. Leaning closer for another kiss, Luke froze.

Digging into his ankle was a heavy object. Your nervous eyes glittered under the dimmed lighting in the limo. Never-ending eye contact Luke lifted a moderately heavy wooden chalkboard. Written on the sign was: ‘Unofficial flower girl or ring bearer’.

“Are you serious?” Luke asked gobsmacked at the news that heightened the greatness of his wedding day. Eyes flickering to meet yours he watched as your hand unzipped a hidden pocket on your dress.

Flat on your hand was a pregnancy test similar to the one you took months back. The only difference being this one had two lines.

“AS serious as a heart attack. There will be a baby Patterson in six months.” The laugh was joyful as your lips parted.

Luke wasted absolutely no time in setting his hand on the slight bump the dress had covered, “This is why you mentioned your dress being snugger?”

“Mhm.” You replied, stroking the softness of his cheekbone in pure love with him and the life you carried, “We’re in for a wild ride Patterson.”

“Bring it on.” Luke finished kissing your cheek as the limo came to a stop in front of a large venue. The duo you ran inside where your wedding guests threw paper airplanes that Reggie had suggested.

Each airplane had a personal note from your friends and family along that would be gathered into a binder. Reggie had found out that rice wasn’t good for birds and while the reception was inside, he couldn’t do it. So, he brought the idea of paper airplanes; in class, the boys would throw airplanes at each other. It was a nod to their adolescence.

“I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Patterson,” Alex announced into the microphone set on the stage with Sunset Curve’s instruments. It didn’t surprise anyone that the band would play at the wedding.

On the stage, a beautiful Hispanic woman played a soft piano ballad, if you could recall that maybe the bartender from the Orpheum. Her name was on the tip of your tongue as Luke twirled you into his arms with a big grin.

“Mrs. Patterson.” You hummed tugging him to the head table with where your wedding party would join as well. The second Luke helped you sit he knelt down to reach the box covertly placed.

Your eyebrows came together as he opened it, revealing two matching pairs of personalized vans; following the wedding theme one pair was white and another black. On the right shoe, it had ‘just married’ with the wedding date while the left shoe had a picture from your engagement pictures. Of course, Luke made them have Mr. and Mrs. above the image as well.

“How?” You breathed as Luke gently removed your heels to replace them with a thin pair of no-show socks. Over the socks went the white vans that gave your feet a break from the four-inch heels.

“We’re supposed to party now.” Luke beamed squeezing your hands in his only bending to kiss the back of each. His hazel eyes had shifted to a rich green as he stared up at yours with such a tender look, you could feel the heat building in your cheeks.

As your wedding party took their seats, Luke had already changed his shoes and pushed the box back under the table. His left hand refused to leave your right one as you both took in the magical room that had once only been a concept on paper.

“This is amazing.” You breathed leaning into Luke’s arm, sending a smile to the table near the front with both your parents, “Also thank you for the shoe surprise.”

 “I am so happy they got done on time.” Luke sighed slouching in his seat, waving at the photographer you had hired.

If you can recall correctly, Luke had met him at a band photoshoot, and he was the assistant to the head photographer. You believe his name was Ray and incredibly talented and under-appreciated by his former boss.

“Did you let the photographer know we have an open bar?” You leaned over to your new husband with a flutter in your belly at his new title. The question turned the corners of Luke’s mouth for the first time that day.

“I find it unfair that we have an open bar and we can’t drink anything.” Luke snorted nudging Reggie in his side.

“Oh, I think we both know you’ll sneak some for the guys and you.” You chuckled leaning back in the chair. One hand resting on your stomach to caress the material with your thumb, unaware, “I’ll stick to the sparkling juice.”

Luke’s one eyebrow raised at the sudden change in your drink choice as in the past you wouldn’t turn down your favourite. His eyes shifted down to your hand with raised eyebrows.

“Wait…are you…?” Luke drawled out slowly in your ear taken aback when your head in a surreptitious manner. His jaw unhinged mind opened as he took in the tiny bump; in the years together, he was very acquainted with your body.

“We are. How cliché are we?” You laughed as Luke lunged to press a kiss to the supple skin lightly painted with foundation.

Your makeup was natural and straightforward to last longer for photos and make it through the dances for later. It was also Luke’s favourite look.

Dinner, the dances and speeches had sped by ending with both the bouquet toss and the garter toss. The guests mingled with the newlyweds as some danced, Emily had managed to drag Luke back on the floor.

“I’m proud of you, Luke.” Emily smiled up at her son, “And you said those dance lessons were a waste of time.”

A light pink flush took over the nineteen-year old’s full cheeks reminiscing the lessons he had taken with his mother. He had been eleven or twelve at the time when his father pulled a muscle at the worst time. The coupons nearly expiration Emily took Luke to the lessons that initially had been for date night.

“I think it helped with singing-“Luke instinctively cut himself off as he had done years before when music was a no go subject, “Sorry you don-“

“Luke, I can never explain how sorry I am about what happened. I was wrong to push you into a box you didn’t fit. Music is a part of you, and I understand now.” Emily squeezed the bicep of the guitarist, “Besides you’ll understand where we were coming from in a couple months.”

Luke’s jaw dropped at her announcement, “What.”

“Luke, I am a mother. I know the signs such as your wife turning down the wine.” Emily admitted stepping back from the boy that had so suddenly become a man before her very eyes.

No longer was he the chubby-cheeked boy running naked from his bath after splattering spaghetti sauce on himself. He had outgrown his interest in soccer and baseball with his little friends. He had matured into a man that lived up to Emily’s teachings. Luke, in her eyes, was now a man of honour, integrity, kindness and stood up for himself.

Emily and Mitch Patterson had done a fantastic job raising their son, but now they could step back. They would get to watch Luke find his way as a husband and a father.

“Hey, man,” Reggie spoke as Luke walked off the dance floor finding you among family congratulating the couple.

“Hey, Reg.” Luke beamed tugging the bassist into his arms for a tight hug. As the two boys leaned back, they looked over at their friend.

Alex discarded the pink suit jacket at the table in favour of leaning against the wall talking with the bartender. A smile blossomed on the two men’s faces as they took in that Alex was utterly relaxed in the conversation.

“They were hardcore flirting.” Reggie piped up, referencing the male bartender, “His name is Billy, I think.”

The bartender had shoulder-length dark hair pulled back in a bun with glittering brown eyes drowning in the shy blonde. He wore a dark shirt opened a few buttons with white detailing on it. A white necklace as well, but it was the lovesick smile Luke loved; Alex deserved happiness the most in Sunset Curve.

“He’s totally a skater.” Reggie spoke, “It’s a love story. He’s a skater boy, and he’d like to do ballet.”

“That would be a sick song. He was a punk, she did ballet.” Luke hummed to a melody created on the spot, “Not really our sound.”

“Someone will figure out a way to use it.” Reggie waved off, and he was right. A singer would use the exact lyric in her song ‘Sk8er Boi’ in 2002 when Sunset Curve would bump into her.

Slowly the boys of Sunset Curve found their way to the stage to perform a few songs directed towards you. At your urging, you had demanded they give a live performance of Unsaid Emily for your now mother-in-law. As they sang, you wrapped an arm, Emily, as she cried.

“This is his best work.” You mumbled to the older woman cupping her wet cheek leaning into the touch of her husband’s touch.

As soon as the song was over, Emily yanked her son into her arms both parties of the hug emotionally moved. It seemed the performance had shifted something in their relationship for the better. Luke didn’t need to explain as he pulled you into his side once more.

 “Alex isn’t the only one that found someone.” You whispered, finding Alex and the bartender on break dancing on the edge of the dance floor. At your husband’s puzzlement, your finger pointed in the direction of the stage.

In a conversation photographer, Ray captivated the lead singer of the band you had hired when Sunset Curve didn’t play. Even Reggie seemed to have the attention of your twin showgirl cousins from Las Vegas.

“Love attracts love.” Luke simply spoke, wrapping his built arms around his wife, thinking back on the changes that had happened.

Luke hitting Reggie’s leg with the car at thirteen, finding each other at the concert a few years later, the accident that threatened the relationship. Proposing twice and finally marrying over a year later on the same day you confessed the pregnancy. So much had happened in such a fraction of time.

“I love you.” Luke murmured at the shell of your ear watching his friends have the time of their lives on a beautiful day in the summer of 1998.

Above are the example of the shoes that Luke got.

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[sparring-hyena]

the time of our lives.

this one was kinda requested/suggested by @cloakanddaggerthings. they’ve also been a great help in hammering out the finicky details. thanks heaps, mate! 

OR, the one where it takes a year for these two goofs to realise they’re in love.

-

i. New Year’s Eve.

naturally, this is where they start. although, start in a very loose sense of the word. because they were something before tonight. something fiery and intense, but certainly not something real.

they were midnight rendezvouses, sharp remarks that lacked any real malice, and moments that somehow meant nothing and everything. but what they were is irrelevant. because Poppy’s got a reputation and parental expectations, and AJ doesn’t fit into any of that.

so, they stand in the front yard of some frat house, a New Year’s party raging on inside, and fight. they shout and cuss and say things that don’t at all mean but that make this whole thing easier.

it’s with ten seconds of the year left that Poppy says, “i hate you,” and feels something break in her heart.

“i hate you, too,” AJ says as the countdown finally reaches zero.

there’s cheering from inside and then AJ leaves and now Poppy’s standing alone on the front lawn. she ignores the tears that fall down her cheeks and tries to tell herself that everything will be fine.

so, yes, that’s how they start: in the final ten seconds of the year with an i hate you that actually means something else entirely.

ii. Valentine’s Day.

she sees AJ sporadically throughout the day. and that irritates Poppy like nothing else ever has. figures it would be today of all days that she sees her everywhere.

first it’s at the crack of dawn as she walks home after a one night stand that she spots AJ on a jog. they’re on opposite sides of the street, but it’s empty so they see each other.

AJ stops in her tracks and looks right at Poppy, not exactly irritated but certainly not pleased. Poppy fixes her with a glare that says what are you looking at? AJ shrugs and starts up on her jog again, and Poppy huffs and continues on her walk home.

then they see each other on campus way too many times—in the café, on the quad, and in the library. and each time, Poppy’s glare is met with a shrug from AJ.

the last time she sees AJ it’s late. the sun has long since set and there’s a chill that’s set in for the night. she’s on her way home from dinner—some blind date Veronica had set up—when she spots AJ across the street, laughing and walking hand-in-hand with some girl who looks vaguely familiar.

Poppy watches them until she can’t see them anymore, and wonders if AJ saw her this time, too.

iii. spring break.

she goes to Miami for the week with Veronica and Chloe. her intention is to have a fun and carefree week where she doesn’t once think about AJ.

it’s two days into her trip when she finds herself scrolling through Instagram late one night. curiosity nibbles at her restraint until she’s typing AJ’s name into the search bar.

she finds AJ’s profile and the first picture she sees is some candid shot of AJ and that same girl from Valentine’s Day looking at each other with ridiculously cheesy smiles. Poppy switches her phone off and doesn’t dare touch it for the rest of the night.

Poppy goes to a party the next night and hooks up with a girl who looks a lot like AJ. Veronica and Chloe point this out a few days later, laughing over cocktails. Poppy scoffs and tells them that’s complete bullshit and tries to hide her blush by taking a long sip of her drink.

iv. summer break.

the academic year ends and Poppy sighs with relief as she collapses onto her bed. she’s got three months until her final year starts, and three months where she doesn’t have to see or think of AJ.

it goes well at first—the not thinking about AJ. she spends a lot of time shopping and partying and lounging by the pool of her parents’ beach house on Long Island. but there are only so many hours of the day where she can keep her mind busy. so it’s at night, when she’s in bed trying to fall asleep, that her mind wanders back to AJ.

the first time it happens, she groans and rolls onto her side, and tries to flush all thoughts of AJ from her mind. that works. but then it happens again and again, and before Poppy really knows it, it’s halfway through August and she’s thought of AJ every single night since the end of June.

she lays awake in bed and watches the fan on the ceiling spin in lazy circles. her brain summons a long and near forgotten memory of a night a lot like this. she closes her eyes and sinks into the warm embrace of the memory:

she was in bed with AJ. it was either late or early, Poppy can’t quite remember. she decides it probably doesn’t really matter. they were talking and laughing under the quiet blanket of night. and Poppy suddenly remembers how she’d reached for AJ’s hand and never wanted to let it go.

Poppy opens her eyes and glances to her side. the bed is empty beside her, the sheets untouched, and she can almost feel the ghost of AJ’s touch on her hand. she squeezes her eyes shut, trying not to cry, and realises she never did hate AJ. she was probably just scared.

v. Halloween.

there’s a party on campus—isn’t there always? a frat party with costumes and decorations and cheesy music that starts to sound alright after three or four drinks. Poppy slips in later in the night, when everyone’s teetering on the edge of tipsy and drunk.

she moves through the throng of people towards the kitchen to pour herself a drink, and bumps into AJ for the first time this semester.

“hey,” AJ says, awkward and unsure, and Poppy silently regrets everything she’s put her through.

“hi,” Poppy says, smiling and really meaning it.

that seems to loosen AJ up a bit, and she returns the smile in kind.

“haven’t seen you in a while,” AJ says, leaning back against the counter and sipping her drink.

“been busy,” she lies even though that’s something she’s trying to stop.

and AJ seems to understand the lie for what it is. “you wanna go outside for a bit?”

Poppy only nods, afraid that if she speaks, she’ll ruin whatever’s happening right now. it’s quieter outside, the cheesy music and chatter nothing but a gentle murmur. they stand out on the front lawn of some frat house and Poppy gets a strange sense of déjà vu.

“i wish things had been different, y’know?” AJ says, her voice a gentle reassurance.

“me too,” Poppy says, and then: “i’m sorry that i said i hate you. because i don’t.”

a moment of silence passes, uncomfortable and almost tight like a rubber band pulled to its limit. because it looks like AJ’s about to say something important that’ll put them on a better path. but then the front door of the frat house flies open, and a few drunk students stumble out into the yard.

AJ offers Poppy a smile, almost sad and longing. “it was nice seeing you again.” and then she heads back inside.

vi. Thanksgiving.

Poppy doesn’t plan on visiting her parents this year. and besides, they’re going out of town for the holiday. so if she has to be alone, she’d rather it be in the sorority house than in some stuffy brownstone on the Upper West Side.

it’s late in the afternoon when Poppy gets a text from AJ. all it says is are you at the sorority? she stares at it for a moment, debates deleting it and carrying on with her day. but something tells her to respond, so she does.

she says that she is and waits for AJ’s response. she waits five minutes, then ten and nothing comes. Poppy scoffs and tosses her phone onto her bed. it’s not long later when she hears a knock on the front door. Poppy doesn’t think much of it, so she answers it without checking.

she finds AJ standing on the front stoop, grinning like she knows something Poppy doesn’t.

“what are you doing here?” Poppy says. “i thought you’d be on your way home by now.”

“i’m getting an early flight tomorrow.” then AJ holds up a plane ticket, grinning like this has been her plan all along. “and i was wondering if you’d want to come with me.”

“what?”

“come home with me. my parents always cook too much food, so really, you’d be doing them a favour.”

Poppy folds her arms over her chest and studies AJ for a moment. “don’t you want to take your girlfriend,” she says, and maybe she wants her words to hurt a little bit.

“we broke up over the summer,” AJ says, simple and easy.

“oh. sorry.”

“don’t be. it wasn’t working out and hadn’t been for a while.”

“are you trying to use pity to get me to come with you?” Poppy says, and she knows AJ wouldn’t, but it’s kinda fun to mess with her.

“no, of course not! i just wanted to be upfront with you. so, come home with me. please.”

Poppy plucks the ticket from AJ’s hand and says, “i’m only doing this for your parents.”

“of course.” AJ winks and grins. “i’ll see you bright and early at the airport tomorrow then.

the flight is uneventful, although Poppy decides AJ is much too cheerful for seven o’clock in the morning.

when they step inside AJ’s childhood home, Poppy’s immediately struck by just how warm and lived in it all feels. AJ’s mother tells her to mind the mess as she ushers them both inside, and AJ’s father greets them and says hugs’ll have to wait as he gestures to his dirty apron.

they all cram around a too small table in mismatched chairs that creak and rock back-and-forth. Poppy doesn’t care that she’s sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with AJ and one of her sisters. dinner is loud and fun, and AJ’s parents insist on sharing stories from AJ’s childhood. and as dinner winds down and dessert is served, Poppy reaches for AJ’s hand beneath the table and knows that she’ll never let go.

vii. Christmas.

it’s close to midnight on Christmas Eve when AJ appears on the front stoop of the Zeta house. she looks distraught and like she hasn’t had a good night sleep in days. so Poppy steps outside and asks, “what’s wrong?”

AJ looks at her, really looks at her, and Poppy feels something shift in that moment. and then AJ’s talking, words tumbling from her mouth, and it doesn’t look like she can stop herself. then she says i love you and everything goes still.

it takes a moment, but AJ seems to catch up to what she’s just said. her eyes go wide, and Poppy can see that she’s gearing up to apologies. but Poppy doesn’t let her. she surges forward and hug AJ tightly because oh god, i’ve missed her so much.

Poppy doesn’t say the words back, not yet anyway. but she holds onto AJ and tries to show her that she loves her, too.

viii. New Year’s Eve.

naturally, this is where they end. although end in a very loose sense of the word. because they will be something after tonight. something supportive and challenging, but most importantly something real.

they will be promises of forever, witty remarks that are just an i love you in disguise, and moments where the rest of the word falls away and it’s just the two of them together. what they will be terrifies Poppy. because she’s got a reputation and parental expectations, and AJ doesn’t fit into any of that... right?

maybe. but maybe it’s good that AJ doesn’t fit into that. maybe it’s good that AJ had upended everything she thought she knew. maybe that’s what makes what they will be so damn perfect.

so, they stand in the front yard of some frat house, a New Year’s party raging on inside, and finally admit what’s been there all along. they talk and tease and say things they mean with all their heart.

it’s with ten seconds of the year left that Poppy says, “i love you,” and feels that final piece of her heart heal.

“i love you, too,” AJ says as the countdown finally reaches zero.

there’s cheering from inside and then AJ steps closer to Poppy, smiling so bright and warm, and Poppy twists her arms around AJ’s neck and doesn’t once care that she’s probably smiling like an idiot in love.

so, yes, that’s how they end: in the final ten second of the year with an i love you that means exactly what it claims.

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

I’d disagree with the anon that Paul was “incapable” of love, but I do agree he was very distanced, and pretty cruel (to women) when he was younger. (It was unfortunate they bought into the love at first sight myth, but he was also a charmer, and dropped affection and got colder after fucking them.)

But I just can’t see romantic interest on Paul’s end. I’m sure he loved John, but a lot of the “sexual/Romantic evidence” really can just be as construed as platonic love. I feel there may be some confirmation bias looking for “clues”. (Not an attack on anyone, but some of the analysises seem to try too hard, really).

He does make references, with the whole “calling him babe during concerts”, and “in bed” but that could just mean he’s not uncomfortable with coming off “gay”. He has a quote about it somewhere I think. He’s supportive of the community at any rate.

This is kind of my own bias, but at times I think he…plays it up a little during the present day? Again, I’m positive he did love John a lot, but with how he is, a charmer, good at manipulating his image, he knows there is a benefit to building up the “magical” Lennon McCartney dynamic. John’s dead, and the old conflicts have faded, so he has no reason not to. I don’t think he’s anti-social, or a psycho or anything, but he certainly does put a lot of thought into his image, especially now, with how he wants to leave his legacy.

I’m less knowledgeable about John, and the speculation about his mental illnesses, but on his end, I can certainly see it. Maybe he’s just blind, but the looks are very much…yeah. He does seem to rely Paul a lot, and hold him in very high regard (REGARDLESS of what those old male biographers might make of him). You just know he was suffering over Paul, poor bastard.

Not sure if anything happened. I think Paul knew though, and either ignored it, or was kind, knowing John wouldn’t act on it. OR he didn’t notice! With the whole “we shared beds A LOT. you would think he’d make a pass at me, darling~”

I guess that’s how I see it. I don’t really have strong feelings on the nature of their relationship, or want them to be “confirmed”, so I try to be as objective as possible! Not a shipper, but not a male biographer. In fact, I was very put off learning the ship was a thing at first! With every fan base “having to” ship the main male leads, that’s what I thought this was. But after three years, reading actual books, primary stuff, I’ve began to change my mind on its legitimacy, and this was my conclusion. But new information can always change!

(Sorry for the long long analysis, god! I just took my adderall and I should go eat! Feel free to block me for spam/harassment.)

Yeah, this is basically my big mclennon dilemma: did Paul love John?

Of course he loved him, but I mean did he harbour any homosexual feelings towards John - and I just go back and fourth on that a lot.

In my last response to an anon I wasn’t necessarily trying to argue that Paul was romantically/sexually attached to John, because all in all, I don’t believe he did - but it probably came off that way because I didn’t particularly like the way the anon had phrased some stuff (like calling him “a master manipulator” and “incapable of love”) and so I just sort of wanted to show that the relationship was more nuanced then just “john was simping for paul”. My overall point with that response was more so that whilst I think Paul struggles in showing real affection and emotions, I don’t think he was incapable of love prior to Linda. I think he did really love John (in whichever form of love you want to take it: romantically, platonically etc.)

And so my point I guess wasnt so much that Paul was always capable of love (because I think he did at least love his family, his close-friends, probably Jane etc.), but maybe more so that he was always capable of intimacy with another person, though he struggled with it.

But yeah, he was quite cruel to a lot of the girls he slept with in the 60s, but I wouldn’t say that suggests he was incapable of love (i know thats not what you’re saying but other people might interpret it through that lens) I would just say he was young, dumb, ridiculously rich and famous and not emotionally mature enough yet to really empathise with most of those girls. Not trying to completely excuse him, but like, i dunno, i always just try to view people from the most human perspective. Everyones an twat sometimes yknow

I also really struggle to see romance on Pauls behalf towards John - the only times I think “wait but maybe he did fancy john back” is when I read some of his lyrics (like in ‘Coming Up’, ‘Yvonne’s The One’, and to some extent ‘Here Today’ - though I think interpreting Here Today as strictly platonic love is still a valid interpretation). I mentioned this in a different post though, that analysing his lyrics just isnt particularly convincing for me, because it feels more like speculation - and also as someone who does write songs, I know that a lot of lyrics just arent as deep as we wish they were. It is really difficult to be truly introspective and honest in a song, without exaggerating or hyperbolising or fictionalising any autobiographical aspects.

I do see your point with Paul possibly playing up the “Lennon/McCartney m a g i c” - im not entirely sure how much I agree, but I do agree to some extent. I think he’s always been very image conscious, and being in what is probably the all-time most famous pop band definitely wouldve heightened that. Even as a teenager I think he’s always just had this natural charm about him, and that tends to stem I guess from a need to be liked; I think you can see it in every interview he’s ever done to be honest. Its not necessarily a bad thing, (because id take a charmer over a rude knobhead any day) but I guess it sort of just shows that Paul is flawed like everybody else. Also, just read @mothernatures-sons tags and I agree with her - Paul just knows when to be a nice person! Nothing wrong with that! It isnt manipulative like the last anon suggested, its just how most people are: polite :) Ive heard a lot of anecdotes from people who have worked with or met Paul and the majority of them say he was a just a nice guy. Not saying he was never an arsehole (cause yeah he was pretty cruel to those girls in the 60s) but I think overall, hes a pretty good guy 👍

On the other hand though, you could also say that superficial journalists are looking for superficial answers - and Paul knows what the people want to hear. But occasionally ill hear an interview that does seem more intimate then most - I havent listened to it in awhile, but the interview he did with Sean I remember felt more honest to me then most. And when he said he’d like to spend the day “in bed” with John, to me that felt like a genuine and fitting response. Because, whilst it has sexual connotations, it also just feels like he’s saying he’d just like to sit around, chat, dont chat, just whatever with John for a day. Like he would just like another moment of intimacy with him.

I think we are pretty much in agreement on most of this though! At first I was also like “nah, mclennon isnt real, teenage girls just love shipping guys!” (I am a teenaged girl and I can confirm this lol) but then it just sort of became apparent to me through reading more and more about their relationship that there probably was something more on Johns behalf. If John wasnt in love with Paul, then it feels as though a lot of things he said and did just dont add up (the big one for me is him marrying Yoko so soon after Paul married Linda - like I really cannot come up with a heterosexual explanation for that!)

But when it comes to Paul, though ill have moments of doubt, I dont think he was in love with John (homosexually) and I do think a lot of the evidence on Pauls behalf seems like a stretch (but like you, im not having a go at anyone, because I understand that it is easy to carried away, plus its fun - but realistically, most of Pauls evidence just is not convincing to me). He’s comfortable with his sexuality, and I really do try to respect that and not force a gay interpretation of quotes or songs from him, unless it is genuinely making me question his sexuality and mclennon.

PS dont worry, I didn’t take this is spam at all!! And also, I would never block someone just for disagreeing with me! I enjoy discussion and I think its good to engage with people who disagree with you! To be honest, id only block someone if they were purposely being a real arsehole <3

[brelione]

Have You Ever Been In Love (JJ Maybank X Reader)

Warnings:Smut,fluff,mentions of really gross jellyfish stings

This is the first smut ive written so dont judge me pls

JJ Maybank had never been in love.He never wanted to be in love either.He had never seen it or understood how people could die for it.He had heard the story of Romeo and Juliet hundreds of times.How it had ended in a beautiful tragedy.Love was an illness that killed people.It was like a parasite that ate away at your heart and brain until there was nothing left.It sounded painful and he’d rather be set on fire then fall in love.He had convinced himself that he could never love anyone in such a way.He convinced himself that he’d only ever love someone like a sibling.He could never really fall in love.He had tried lying to himself over and over and had gone as far as to write it on paper over and over again.Nothing worked.He was sick with the plague of love.The first time he ever saw you he couldnt understand the feeling within him.He had been working at a gas station.That job had only lasted two weeks.His shift was from 12 am to five am and he hated it.It had been three in the morning when you walked in with your wet hair,slightly bloodshot eyes,bikini top and shorts.The terrible gas station lighting should’ve made you look like shit but you looked fantastic in his eyes.

You had waved to him quickly before heading to the back into the freezer section.You were limping ever so slightly,your flip flops echoing through the building.He kept staring at you,trying to figure out if he had ever seen you before.He saw the bright red lines across your thigh and shin.It looked gross and painful but you didnt even care as you grabbed a pint of ben and jerry’s icecream.You went over to the counter where all the coffee,syrup,sugar and cream was.You made yourself a caramel iced coffee before limping up to the counter.His eyebrows were furrowed as he looked down at you. “Hey,do you have like a band aid or something?”You asked.He frowned. “What for?”He asked,pretending he hadnt noticed the bright irritated injury.You grinned. “Um...jellyfish stings.”You answered.He shook his head. “Youre gonna put a band aid on a jellyfish sting?”He asked.You nodded,sipping the coffee and putting ten dollars on the counter.He leaned across the counter,glancing down at your leg. “Yeah,no.That’s pretty bad.You should clean that off and wrap it up.”He suggested.You bit your lip,shaking your head. 

“Nah dude,i’ve got ice cream for a reason.It doesnt even hurt that bad like its fine.”You answered,grabbing the icecream.He handed you two dollars back,telling you to wait a minute before putting his hand under the counter and grabbing the box of rainbow bandaids and handing you one.You smiled. “Thanks,JJ.”You took the band aid,holding it up to the light. “Ooh...a yellow one.”You mumbled,putting the band aid in your pocket. “Do I know you?”He asked.You shook your head. “But you knew my name.”He squeezed the counter,trying not to blush at all.You pointed to his name tag.He had completely forgot about it.He nodded,biting his lip hard and looking away from you. “So what’s your name?”He asked.You grinned,grabbing your coffee. “Wouldnt you like to know,pretty boy.”You smiled before walking out.He watched as you left,letting out a loud sigh.He let out a laugh,not understanding the feeling that was taking over his body.He stared down at the counter for a while,scolding himself for falling apart like that.Flirting had always come easy for him.He’d never met a girl that he couldnt charm with his looks and his words,except Kie,of course.

But even she had blushed a good amount of times when they first met.But not you with your jellyfish sting and your ben and jerrys icecream.It wasnt until about a month later that he had seen you again.He had lost his job at the gas station because he was caught smoking weed inside.He wondered if maybe you had come by the gas station looking for him since he had left.He kept thinking about you,wondering your name or if you had ever cleaned off your jellyfish sting.He had been at The Wreck as he stuffed his face with french fries and listened to John B. and Pope’s rambling about something scientific.The fries nearly fell out of his mouth when he saw you walk up to the counter. “Hey,hoe.”You grinned at Kiara.She gasped. “Dude-oh my god its been like three months!”She exclaimed,coming out from behind the counter and hugging you. “Hey.”You repeated,pulling out of the hug.She said something quickly to her dad before literally dragging you over to the table where your other friends sat. “This is (Y/N)!”She told them excitedly,shaking your arm.You grinned at JJ before saying hi to the group.Kiara explained that you had been staying with your father in Massachusetts for the last couple of months and that you two had been friends since like seventh grade and whatever.

JJ hadnt been paying attention to her,only focusing on you.The overwhelming desire to laugh and hug you was almost scary.He even knew your name now.It fit you quite well.You looked like a (Y/N) for sure. “JJ,what do you think?”Kiara asked.He frowned a bit,trying to figure out what she was asking. “What?”He asked.Pope laughed. “Dude,pay attention for once.”He sighed.Kiara rolled her eyes. “I asked if you think (Y/N) should join us on the boat today.”She repeated.JJ nodded. “Yeah,yeah definitely.”He blushed,trying not to look at you.You grinned. “Cool,I’ll see you guys later then.”You winked at JJ before getting up and walking out of the restaurant.Kiara snorted in a laugh as JJ smacked his head down. “Have you two met before?”She asked.JJ nodded,picking his head back up.Kiara gasped. “Oh god-did you two hook up?Please tell me you did not hook up with my best friend.”Kiara waited nervously for his answer.JJ shook his head. “I wish.”He replied.He ignored the feeling,telling himself that he was just too high for social interaction and that was the only reason he felt the way he did.

He hadnt smoked in hours.His mind wandered back to a month ago when he had seen you the first time.He had been getting dressed at John.B’s that afternoon,trying to make himself look nice for when he saw you.He had changed his sleeveless shirt for the first time in two days.He had taken a quick shower,brushed his hair and stared at himself for a good five minutes.He wasnt in love.There was nothing wrong with wanting to look nice for someone.Kiara had basically yelled at JJ on how to get to your house. “No-no you gotta-OH MY GOD JUST LET ME DRIVE!”She had shouted and ended up driving the boat.She pulled up to your personal dock,waiting for you after sending you a text.Your house had chipped paint and six chickens roaming around your backyard.His heart sped up,breaths getting a bit fast as he waited for you to come out.When you did he couldnt look away from you.Your hair was tied up,a yellow highwaisted bikini tight on your skin.You walked past your chickens,down the hill and towards the dock. “Hey,loser.”You grinned at Kie.She held out her hand to help you on to the boat,pulling you so you were sitting next to her. “Hey (Y/N).”Pope greeted. 

“Hey.”You grinned,fist bumping the boy.You leaned back,raising an eyebrow at JJ.He hadnt noticed that you were staring,to busy looking down where his eyes shouldn't have been.He licked his lips,looking back up at your face.You winked at him,causing him to blush and look away.He spent the whole day sending glances your way,glancing down at your thigh every once in a while.There was only some scratches left and a small patch of peeling skin on your thigh where the awful sting had once been. “So why were you in Massachusetts?”Pope asked,leaning his head on his folded shirt.You laughed quietly.That was a fun thing to explain to people when they had asked. “Well,you see,my half sister’s step mother’s cousin was getting married so I got invited.Obviously I decided to go but then like I got stuck up there because there was like a tropical storm or some shit and the wind was going ninety miles per hour and there were flash floods and the power went out and full as buildings like collapsed

.It was a huge mess and then like a couple days later it was negative ten degrees and all the water froze and I couldn't drive out cause of it and it sucked and I think someone like manifested bad luck on me.So it kind of sucked but then I got boba coffee in boston and I went to an aquarium and all these museums.There are so many hospitals in Massachusetts like it's kind of crazy.But then I ended up somewhere in the suburbs on my way back and I slept in my car for like four days until I got my car fixed and then I got here like a few days ago.”You explained,looking over at JJ to make sure he wouldn't say anything.Pope nodded. “So what museums did you go to?”He asked,continuing your conversation.JJ felt a bit jealous that you weren't paying attention to him like he was paying attention to you but he couldn't really be mad about it.He just wasn't your type.He wasn't in love.He just wanted you to like him.It had been two in the afternoon when they stopped in the middle of a clear bay.

JJ had watched to see if you were going to go into the water.He watched as you pulled your hair out of its tied up mess,nudging Kiara’s arm.She nodded,jumping off the side of the boat with you.JJ watched as you swam away from the boat around one hundred feet with Kiara close behind you.He watched the way your body moved in the water and how you kept purposefully splashing water into Kiara’s face.He listened to your giggles as you got back to the side of the boat,declaring that you had won.Kiara groaned,lifting herself onto the boat.JJ held out his arm for you to pull yourself up.He blushed a deep crimson as you squeezed his forearm lightly and thanked him.He watched as you and Kiara laid on your backs,basking in the sun while you had a small conversation.He had ended up jumping in the water with Pope,racing John.B and JJ to a buoy a few yards away.He had swam as fast as he could,saltwater splashing into his nose and mouth.He hoped you were watching.For eight months you had been part of the close knit friend group,officially being voted in in favor of everybody after a month of hanging out with them.While they all went to school you had just spent everyday at your house doing whatever you felt like doing.

You’d still swim and surf during the winter because the water wasn't even close to cold.You’d come around John.B’s house when he and the others were out of school.Sometimes you’d even spend the day at his house.Little did you know that JJ would skip the last half an hour of last period pretty often just so he could spend time alone with you.He’d announce himself as he walked in,his heart beating fast as he stood in the doorway.You’d always hug him tight and ask him how his day went and if he wanted to go surfing with you.He’d say yes every time and change into his bathing suit quickly.You’d get so excited to finally see everyone after they got out of school.Kind of like a puppy with separation anxiety.JJ would tell you everything about his day from what he ate at lunch to any jokes he had heard that he thought you might find funny.He’d tell you about a dog he’d seen walking around during P.E or an explosion in the teacher’s lounge microwave.He told you everything he could think of and made it sound as dramatic as possible just to see your reaction.You never questioned why he got back before the others every single day but it didn't really matter.You surfed for hours together before laying on your stomachs on your boards and floating across from each other. “JJ.”You sighed,putting your head down on your folded hands as they rested on your board.

He hummed,looking at you to give you his full attention. “Yeah?”He asked,waiting nervously for you to ask the questions you had.There were so many things you could say.Perhaps Pope had let something slip out.He had ranted to Pope about his feelings for you and how he couldn't understand.Pope tried to explain to him that he was in love with you but that wasn't possible.He wasn't capable of loving someone the way he loved you.He didn't love you.He just loved everything about you and wanted to be around you all the time.He wanted you to lay on his chest as he played around with your hair while you told him about your day.He wanted to take you on late night walks along the beach and collect seashells with you as you giggled about random things.He wanted to sing you silly songs as you whined for him to shut up.He wasn't in love with you.He just wanted you to love him and date him and be his.But that definitely didn't mean he was in love with you,right?You sighed as the sun beamed down on your skin,the water twinkling almost blindingly. “Have you ever been in love?”You asked him.

He bit his lip,glancing out at the horizon.He didn't know how to answer you or even how to react.You knew about his random hookups with tourons and how he was known as a bit of a man whore.He knew that you knew.But you didn't know that he hadnt hooked up with anybody since he had met you.He licked his bottom lip,looking back at you.You were looking at him,only your nose and eyes visible because the rest of your face was hidden by your crossed arms.He gulped. “Um...no.No.No i’ve never been in love.”He cleared his throat.You giggled,the sound echoing off your surfboard. “That was not convincing at all.Girl or boy?”You asked,interested in his story.He shook his head,grinning. “Nobody.”He answered,avoiding your gaze.You reached out,grabbing his arm. “Come on,J.Tell me about it.I’ll tell you first if you want.”You offered.His stomach churned at the thought of you loving someone.He didn't know why.Well,no,he absolutely knew why.He knew it was because he had a thing for you.

He didn't know what that thing was but he didn't really like it much.He nodded,waiting for you to tell the story.You sighed. “Alright.It was eighth grade and his name was Ryan.”You began.His eyebrows furrowed. “Ryan Field?”He asked.You nodded,making a look of disgust come across his face.You giggled. “You know what?Shut up because I was twelve,okay?So,anyways,he sat next to me in Geography and this was before I dropped out and I was barely paying attention.We’d pass notes back and forth and then I had his phone number and we’d text all the time and then we ended up dating.It was my first serious relationship and he broke up with me because he thought I wasn't like mentally stable enough for a relationship and I couldn't handle it.I guess he was right and it definitely hurt when it happened but thinking about it now I don't even know if I actually loved him or if I just was trying to like….convince myself I was happy,you know?I don't even know if love is even real because I used to believe in it when I was little but then I got into the real world and shit kind of just hit the fan.Its all just messy and it's probably all bullshit but it's nice to think that maybe there are people that we’re meant to be with.I don't even think I have someone im supposed to be with cause like,everyone i've ever cared about leaves me so now i'm constantly paranoid that you’re all gonna leave me so that's fun.”You spoke quickly and held up a peace sign.

His eyebrows knit together as he stared back at you. “You-you shouldn't feel like that about us.You know-you know that we'd never leave you.You know that we-that we all love you,right?You know that I love you and we all love having you around and that things wouldn't be the same without you.You know that,dont you?”He asked frantically,his hands tightening on his board.He couldn't believe everything that you just said.The atmosphere completely changed.It felt tense,the giggling and teasing from before had completely faded and was now replaced with nervousness.The clouds covered the sunlight,the air was cool and the small waves had calmed.You sighed quietly,sorting out what you wanted to say.He could've been lying about it.They all probably talked bad about you behind your back anyways. “We should get back to the house,looks like it's gonna rain.”You spoke quietly,paddling back to the shore.You sniffled as you walked on the sand,JJ jogging close behind you.

 “We should seriously talk about this.Why wouldn't you tell anyone that you felt like this?”He asked.You let your board fall to the sand,turning around with tears in your eyes. “Because I'm scared,okay?Im scared that he was right about me not being mentally stable enough for relationships and that i'm a bad friend and a bad person.I don't even deserve happiness or relationships or love,god,i don't even know if im capable of it-”You ranted,tears coming from your eyes when he smashed his lips against yours.It was rough and desperate as your shaky hands made their way around his neck.You couldn't even wrap your mind around what was happening.His arms draped around your hips and held onto you like you were a life line,pulling away for a moment to breath before kissing you again. “JJ.”You whispered,still holding him close.He panted,eyes still closed as his forehead leaned against yours. “JJ,what the fuck are we doing right now?”You asked,out of breath.He licked his lips,knees weak and his bottom lip quivering. “I dont-I dont know it seemed like a good idea.”He whispered,still holding onto you.You didn't know how to react or even what to say.You just stood their,hands on the back of his neck with water dripping onto your fingers from his hair.

 “Sorry,I shouldn't have done that.”His hands fell from your body.You pulled him back for another kiss,his hands on your waist as he pulled you impossibly close to him. “I meant it.”He mumbled before pressing a small kiss to your lips.You bit your bottom lip,letting out a small shaky breath. “What?”You asked.He gulped. “When I said we all love you...that I love you.I meant it.”He spoke quietly.He bit the inside of his cheek as he waited for you to respond.He was in love.Thunder rumbled loudly,the sky darkening as rain pounded down on the two of you.He didn't even care,only worried about what you were going to say.Your finger traced his jaw slowly,dragging your warm finger up to his temple and slicking his wet hair back.The rain sent shivers all over your body as you pulled him back down.He bit down on your lip,tugging it lightly before practically shoving his tongue down your throat.A moan ripped from your vocal cords as you pressed up against him.His lips traveled down your jaw and to your neck,kissing,sucking and biting.The rain became heavier and the air became colder. “JJ...J-we….we need to go-go back to the house.”You whispered,hand tugging at his hair.He let out a small sigh.

 “Please-please-I need you now.”He whimpered,pressing himself to you so you could feel how hard he really was.You bit your lip,looking up at him. “You can last five minutes.”You told him.He shook his head. “I cant-I cant do it-im so hard it hurts.”He whined.You picked up your surfboard. “Then you’re gonna have to run back if you can't last.”You smirked,jogging back up the hill.JJ ran after you with his surfboard under his arms,tossing it down in the backyard. “Hurry,please.”He told you.You grinned,seeing the van wasn't there yet.He dragged you into the guest room while you closed the door and locked it.He pressed you up against the door,kissing you hard and untying your bikini top.He let it fall to the floor before moving downwards.Your breasts were cold from the water but he didnt care,leaving deep purple marks all over them.You let out small moans as your fingernails scratched against his scalp.

You pushed him down on the bed,straddling him and pressing a kiss to his lips.You sucked hickeys along his jaw and collarbones. “Please…”He whispered.He had never been this desperate before.He had never let anyone be on top before either.You began to roll your hips slowly,grinding on him.He let out a loud,raspy moan as he gripped your hips to make you go faster.His mouth fell open as his head fell back.You leaned down to create a dark hickey on his neck.You slid his bathing suit down,licking your lips.He bit his lip as he waited for you to do something.He let out a loud gasp as you ran your fingertip along a pulsing vein. “You like that,JJ?”You asked.He nodded quickly,making you grin. “Words,baby.I need words.”You taunted.His eyes closed tightly as he let out a whimper. “I like it-I love it so much,princess.”He squeaked out as your hand moved faster. “Please-please-just-”His sentence was cut off by a loud moan ripping through his throat. “Please what?”You asked innocently.He bit his lip hard,trying not to let anything else slip out. “Please just-please I just need you.”He moaned,back arching slightly.You loved having this power over him as you watched him fall apart in front of you.

 “What do you need,J?Tell me what you want.”You spoke softly.He swallowed hard,sweat and water drops coating his forehead. “I-I want you to fuck me hard and-and I want to make you-make you feel good.”A half scream half moan left his mouth along with a string of profanities.You leaned down so you could whisper into his ear. “You wanna make me feel good?Oh,thats cute.”You whispered before sinking down onto him.He nearly screamed,eyes going wide. “Let it out,baby.No one can hear you.”You whispered to him.He let out a loud scream that was so loud it could break glass.You began to move at a hellish pace,letting out small moans. “Moan for me.”He told you,guiding you up and down on him.You let out loud moans,glad no one else was home.You were going so fast and so hard that you knew you probably wouldn't be able to walk properly tomorrow. “Im so close.”He whined.You went even faster than you thought possible,grinning as he let out a shout as he reached his high.You kept going after that,making him a bit confused but he didn't complain once he glanced down and saw as his member went in and out of you,your head dipping back as you let out a long,high pitched moan and squirted.He smirked,holding on tight to your waist before flipping you two over. “You’ve done so much for me today,baby,Let me help you out.”He spoke softly before kissing your forehead.His fists went onto the mattress next to your head as he began to pound into you ridiculously hard.Your fingernails dug into his back as he sped up,determined to make you come undone again.

It barely took two minutes for you to cum again,the juices leaking out and coating your inner thighs and his member.He pulled out,laying down beside you. “God,you feel so good.”He moaned quietly,arm around your waist.You grinned. “I know,baby.You’re so good for me.”You kissed his forehead.He leaned into your touch,burying his face in the crook of your neck.The storm was just calming down when you heard the door to the house open.You got up quickly,grabbing your wet towel from the beach to clean yourself out.You grabbed a random long sleeve shirt and slid on a pair of shorts,tossing JJ his pajama pants before tying your hair up to fix its messy state.You unlocked the door before sliding under the covers and resting on JJ’s chest. “Pretend to sleep.”You whispered to him when you heard footsteps coming down the hall.He nodded,placing his arms around you comfortably before closing his eyes.He heard the door open and a small gasp that had obviously come from Kie.He tried not to smile when he heard the loud click of a photo being taken before the door closed again.

[calebdumes]

not me thinking about hera syndulla visiting shara bay after the war and also maybe turning it into a kanera thing unintentially. 

couldn’t be me.

fandom: star wars rebels (post series)

rating: n/r

word count: 1.3k

 ~

It was strange being back on Yavin IV after all these years. Hera hadn’t returned since the rebellion had fled to the safety of Hoth’s icy walls. And after the war ended, she returned to Lothal - the only place that felt like home these days. But it was nice to return to the lush, green planet and see the round orange ball of Yavin Prime hanging overhead. Jacen certainly loved to see it. 

He leaned forward in the co-pilot’s seat, his teal eyes wide with wonder. Kanan’s eyes, she thought. Hera swung around the crumbling ruins of the Massassi temple before directing the Ghost towards the small settlement to the south and bringing her ship down on the rough patch of grass beside a familiar home. 

Two figures stood by the makeshift landing field, one bouncing up and down with excitement, while the other stood with a hand raised to her face to block out the sun.  

“Look mama!” Jacen squealed, rising to his knees. “It’s Poe!”

“I see him love.” she responded, shutting down the engines. 

“Can I go see him?”

“Just wait, I’ll go with you.” The rumble of the Ghost slowly faded as Hera flipped a switch to lower the ramp. She waved to Shara from the cockpit before picking her son up and placing him on her shoulders. His little arms circled her neck, holding tightly as she climbed down the ladder into the hold. The second her feet hit the durasteel he was scrambling down to rush after his friend. 

“You made it here in good time! I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow!” Shara Bey called as Hera descended the ramp. Her long dark hair was tied back in a loose braid over her shoulder. 

Hera chuckled, watching her son’s green head disappear into the garden along with Poe, the younger boy chasing after his heels. “Traveling’s a lot easier these days without the Empire around.”

Shara stepped forward and wrapped Hera up in a hug. “It’s good to see you General.”

“Likewise Lieutenant.” She hugged back. Hera had lost count how many times she had told her old friend that there was no need to stand on formalities now that was war was over, but some times, old habits never died.

“I see you left the rest of the crew behind?” 

“Ezra had a Jedi thing with Skywalker and Sabine is on Mandalore. I don’t think Zeb was up for a round with these two.” She waved her hand at the boys who were weaving through the Koyo trees, laughing. 

At six and four respectively, their children were the definition of rambunctious. They seemed to always be in motion; Hera found herself wondering more than once if Jacen would ever run out of energy. Watching them run through the vines, she didn’t think so. 

Shara’s brow pinched. “Is he feeling alright?”

“He is.” Hera said with a nod. “Just old age.” They walked up the path to the garden, the warm air curling around Hera’s lekku, carrying with it the light fragrance of the orchids tucked around the ranch house. “Kez isn’t here?”

“He got called away.” Shara said with a roll of her eyes. “He’ll be back don’t worry. You too can get back to your pointless argument.”

“Hey, that’s his fault for siding with Solo. He brought it on himself.”

Shara chuckled, sitting down in a woven chair on the back porch. Hera followed suit, kicking off her boots and making herself at home. 

Hera met the young pilot on Hoth and quickly found that they had more in common then their love of flying. Shara had just returned to the front after giving birth to her son Poe and having gone through the same adjustment two years before, Hera made it her mission to supply Shara with the same support her crew gave her. 

She had met many brilliant young pilots and rebels during the war but Shara Bey was something special. 

They sat out on the porch and caught up, swapping stories about their latest adventures. At one time it would have been war stories but these days it was more mundane, like their last trip to the market. It was funny, how much their lives had changed. 

“Poe sure has grown since I last saw him.” Hera noted. The boys were now busy digging around the roots of the trees dotting the property line looking for Leviathan grubs. 

“Yeah he has.” Shara said proudly. “I’ve started taking him up in my A Wing a few months ago.”

“And?”

Shara smiled brightly. “Like a natural. He’ll be up there in his own ship before I know it.” She paused looking at boys thoughtfully. “You said Ezra was with Skywalker. Is he going to recruit Jacen?”

Hera shrugged. “I know Ezra wants him to go, he hardly gets to see him these days; he’s so busy helping Luke. But I’d like to keep him home a little while longer. I’ll send him off until he’s older.”

“Didn’t the Jedi use to take kids when they were really little to train them?” Shara asked looking over at Hera as if she was an expert on all things Jedi. She supposed in this situation she probably was.  

“I think so but Ezra was about fifteen when he started learning and Luke was even older than that.” Hera said. “I think they want to do things differently this time around. Hoping to avoid the mistakes of the past.”

“Smart kids.” Shara chuckled. 

Hera smiled in agreement.  

They talked until the sun was a band of light on the tree studded horizon, the moon a bright orb against Yavin Prime. Jacen had fallen asleep in her arms, his pants covered in mud and his cheeks ruddy from a day out in the bright sun. Shara had her arms full of her own son sleeping peacefully. Around them, the orchids glowed. 

“I know you don’t talk about him much, but Jacen’s father was a Jedi of Old wasn’t he?”

Hera blinked at the sudden question, her quiet peace upended. It didn’t hurt to talk about Kanan anymore, not like it had in the beginning. Before she couldn’t even mention his name without falling into a pit of despair. But she owed Jacen the truth about his father, about the man he was. When she spoke of Kanan now, it was with a fond sadness, a dull ache that would never go away. 

Jacen loved it when she told the story about how they met or when Ezra went on a tangent about Kanan’s training antics. And every day, little by little, she could see more of Kanan reflected in her son. He was there in his spirit, the wildness in his eyes, the gentleness of his heart. Hera combed her fingers though Jacen’s thick green hair and smiled. “He was.”

Shara hummed and rolled one of Poe’s little toes between her fingers. “The last mission I ran with Luke he gave me that tree.” she pointed out to the edge of their property where a single tree stood out from all the rest. Its wide truck was gnarled and seemed to glow in the fast approaching darkness. “He said it was a Force tree, part of the Great Tree that used to be in at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.”

“That explains what Jacen likes it so much.” Hera said with a snort. 

“You should check it out before you leave.” Shara suggested, shifting Poe in her arms and standing. She curled Poe up to her chest and placed a gentle hand on Hera’s shoulder. “I’m glad you made it out here Syndulla.” she said, her brown eyes warm.

Hera covered Shara’s tan hand with her green one and smiled. “Me too Bey, me too.”

~

After Jacen was tucked away in bed and the Dameron/Bey house was quiet, Hera snuck back out into the garden, he bare feet silent on the mossy ground. She crept over to the tree Shara had pointed out earlier and placed a hand on the rough bark. 

Warmth tingled up her arm, wrapping around her chest, the air around her humming with a melodic sound. Hera sighed. 

“Hello love.”

[descendants-one-shot2]

Hey! This is me and my friends joint account and this is our first post so here are some prompts you can send us with a descendants character(s) and we'll try to write a one-shot about it! Thank you and go follow our personal tumblrs at @blue-freckels @07-18yess

“I already see it now, you weren't built for backing down”

“You have to understand that The one I killed is me Changing what I was For what you wanted me to be”      

“You'd probably punch my arm right now If you saw this tear  rollin' down my face hey, man, I'm tryin' to be tough”

“my high school ring will have to do 'Til I can buy a wedding band”.

“She couldn't be at home in the night time because It made her feel alone, but at that time she was too young” 

“I met you in the dark, you lit me up you made me feel as though I was enough”

“Hate to ask, but what's it like to leave me behind?”

“ I won't be like you” 

“I'm more than my body you can pack your things up, buh bye, just go” 

“If you see the boy I used to be could you tell him that I'd like to find him And if you see the shell that's left of me could you spare him a little kindness”

“I know you think I got it all figured out 'Cause I walk around like my head's in the clouds but I'm just a boy with his heart pourin' out of his head”

“But I'm causing you so much frustration and you only want the best from me” 

“Youre trembling…” 

“Youre ignoring all your problems” 

“Dont do this to yourself” 

“Stop pushing everyone away!” 

“Youre a monster” 

“Its midnight, where the hell where you!?” 

“Where did all those bruises come from”

“You really need to stop drinking, im serious!” 

“Sometimes i wish that i could just fall asleep and never wake up” 

“They cant do anything to me, i have nothing left” 

“Put that knife down…” 

“Youre either with me or against me” 

“When was the last time you ate?”

“Why arnt you eating?”

“What were you thinking!” 

“Im starting to think that you want to get yourself killed…” 

“I love you” 

“I hear you talking but i still dont have my coffee” 

“Youre bad for me, but ive always liked junk food” 

“Were from two very different worlds” “so lets build a bridge” 

“I hate You!” “aww i love you too” 

“Youre gonna hate me if i tell you” 

“Youre my best friend” 

“Im sorry” 

“You cant fix me” 

“Fucking Magic” 

“You have no idea what im going threw” 

“Fuck you” 

“Are you with me” 

“ i drink to escape the pain” 

“Youre all i have left in this shitty world” 

“Im scared” 

“Stay with me” 

“Looks like ya got a problem friendo” 

“Im always by your side” 

“I cant let you do that” 

“I love you to much, to leave without you loving me back” 

“Why the hell would you do that to yourself” 

“Im a monster” 

“Did he hurt you…” 

“No dont touch me” 

“Why did you flinch…..” 

“I would never hurt you” 

“The scars make you who you are” 

“Are those….new” 

“Made a wrong turn, once or twice Dug my way out, blood and fire” 

“We made these memories for ourselves”

“I swear it will get easier”

“They think i hate them” 

“Im not scared of you anymore” 

“You are not my father” 

“I hate everyone” 

“Sing with me” 

“Your hair is really soft after you wash it” 

“Stop fussing, im just brading your hair”

“If you steal the blankets im gonna put my cold feet on you” 

“You are my new pillow” 

“Ive known you since… forever, i cant imagin my life without you” 

“If it wasnt for you i would be lost, im so lucky you came into my life” 

“Youre my bestfriend, youre suppost to deal with the second hand embarrassment”

“You dont have to deal with everything alone”

“You know me better than anyone” 

“Ugh-  youre sweaty get off” 

“We should run away” 

“I have no sympathy for a criminal” 

“I wasnt planing on asking you but it acured to me that life is short so will you marry me “were 16” so?”

“The dog loves me more” 

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles” 

“Together we can do anything 

“Who wouldnt be angry, you ate all my cereal” 

“I hope you know my name is actually_____”

“Doll~” 

”stop touching my neck” 

“Where were you when your father told you Boys don't cry,”

“An if theres a next one i hope that she can love him the same”

“Then we won’t make it along, but hey, I guess    that’s love”

“But ill leave a message so i’m not alone”

“The day that they took you i wish it was me instead” 

“Diamonds they dont turn to dust or fade away”

“I should be happy of course” 

“But tomorrow makes me scared”

“I’m ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight”

“I've been praying for forgiveness, you've been praying for my health”

“Does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the nigh changes” 

“Scream and we shout we make up the same day”

“Every jewel on my crown you better believe i earned it”

“I hate you I hate you but i was just kidding myself”

“It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless”

“Too tired to fight”

“I gave what i could and the rest was stolen”

“This city never sleeps at night”

“Remember that night” 

“I can speak to you by saying nothing at all”

“too young too dumb to know things like love but I know better now”

“What did i do wrong this time, thats parents for you”

“Please don’t come after me”

“We’ll always love you no matter what”

“you'll understand when you love someone”

“An we just pretend i can take it back”

“It didn't always hurt this way”

“Am i messed up, forever flawed, beyond repair, but forever yours”

“You’ve got you peace now, but what about me”

“One last word, one last moment”

“I see my future in you eyes”

“I am not afraid to walk this world alone”

“Nothing you can say an stop me going home”

“Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead”

“You wanna be a loser like me”

“Ill get yo back when im your boss”

“Cause with all  that has happened  think that we both now the way that the story end

“I got an idea, and i know that it sounds crazy”

“She expected the world”

“Life goes on it get so heavy”

“On the edge of paradise”

“I don’t love yo im just passing the time”

“But who could love me i am out of my mind”

“Beg you to stay”

“Don’t know if you love me or you want me dead”

“Sometimes when i look at you i see my wife”

“Don’t be his friend  you know you gonna wake up in his bed in the morning”

“We need you, i needed you”

“That i was nothing but a kid who couldn’t understand it”

“If you really cared for me then why you acting”

“Never planned that one ay i’d be loosing you”

“We made a pact”

“In another life, I woul make you stay”

“I begge you to want me, but you didn't want to” 

“know you're in a better place but it's always gonna hurt”

“He's waiting. Hides behind a cigarette” 

“I'm your weakest link” “but you're still a part of the chain” 

“ mini bars, expensive cars, hotel rooms and new tattoos, and the food Champagne and the private planes, but they don't mean anything, cause the try to truth is out”