#Ellie Williams one shot

[totheblood]

i still hear you. (prologue)

PAIRING: post tlou2!ellie williams x reader

SUMMARY: ellie stumbles upon your self-run town after her life is destroyed, except there's more to this town then what meets the eye. and it seems like there is more to you too.

WARNINGS: 18+ mentions of death, grief, related subjects; cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x

A/N: i've been working on this one for a while... i hope you enjoy! please send asks, reblog, and reply to this post <;3

WORD COUNT: 3k

"i still hear you laughing, but only for a minute"

Spring couldn’t come fast enough for Ellie. 

The cold still nipped at the exposed skin on her hands, ghosting the phantom limbs of the two fingers she was now missing. Everything was cold. The tip of her nose, her ears, and most importantly her heart. As she wandered aimlessly, unsure of where to go, she knew there was one place she couldn’t go: home. 

Jackson was no longer a place for her. Joel was gone, Tommy thought she was weak, and Dina…Well, Dina wanted nothing to do with her. Dina had a lot she could blame Ellie for before Ellie left, but she never did. She stayed. And now, on top of all of that, Ellie had left one of the few people in her life who cared enough about her to stay. Spring could come tomorrow but it would forever be winter inside her. 

She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew she was going west. She couldn’t handle the harsh winters of the East Coast, and Wyoming stopped feeling like home before she left for Seattle. She thought about staying on the farm and living out whatever short life she was going to have there, but staying in that home painted with memories of “what ifs” would drive her crazy. 

So she packed enough supplies to last her a few months if she hunted her food and headed to the West Coast. The first few days were silent, she only encountered a few infected and found shelter in abandoned buildings. She lived off of expired food she found in vending machines in old universities and occasionally sang herself to sleep. 

On her tenth day, she found a car that lasted her about 2 days. Once it broke down, she just kept walking. Over abandoned highways and thick forests, she just kept walking. On day 17, she reached California and stumbled upon an eerily similar set of walls. It looked just like the gates at Jackson, except these were concrete and better built. They were much higher, and the gates almost looked… automatic. 

Ellie was hesitant. She didn’t know what she was looking for, but she definitely wasn’t looking for another hometown to destroy. She approached the large walls cautiously, with her hands up and slowly. As she walked closer she was screaming, “I come in peace,” over and over again. She was almost 50 feet near the gate when she heard a girl's voice shout, “Don’t come any closer.”

She stopped in her tracks as the automatic gates began to open. Ellie expected an army of people with guns blazing, just how it was when she first arrived at Jackson, but when the gates opened there just stood you, grounded in all your glory, and a gun aimed right at her face. She wanted to laugh, but that just seemed sexist. 

Instead, you pressed forward, unwavering, with your gun aimed right at her. She didn’t step backward, or even breathe, she just stood there until you were close enough to her to make out all the freckles on her face and the slit in her eyebrow. 

“Who are you?” you spat at her.

“Ellie,” she breathed out, her hands faltering a bit. 

With your hand firmly wrapped around the cold metal of the gun, you inched forward again, pulling back the slide, a metallic click echoing in the silence. The gun was loaded, and you were letting Ellie know that you weren’t afraid to shoot. Her hands stiffened again. 

“What are you doing here?” Your tone was tough and the look on your face was enough to send Ellie running for the hills, but it also made her want to crack a smile. Your nose scrunched up as you spoke, and your lips were somehow not chapped in this weather. But Ellie didn’t smile, she was sure if she did you would put one right between her eyes. That much she was sure of.

“I-” Ellie hadn’t thought this far. What was she doing here? “I’m just looking for a place to stay.” 

Your eyebrows creased as you gave her a once over, looking for any sign she was trouble. It was in your nature to search for danger, but she wasn’t raising any red flags. Except the fact that she made it here alone and unscathed, and was missing two fingers. 

“What happened to your hand?” you asked, tipping the gun slightly to her hand. A pained expression crossed her face, it was almost like she forgot that two of her fingers were quite literally bitten off, but that fight was somewhere shoved deep inside her mind. It wasn’t something she wanted to remember.

“Lost them in a fight,” she replied simply, there was no point in telling the full story. It’s not like you had the time. 

“You can’t stay here if you’re going to be trouble,” finally you put the gun down, resting your hands on your hips, giving her a firm look. Ellie would hand it to you, you were absolutely scary. In her mind, she knew she could take you, but she also wasn’t so sure of that.  

“I’m,” she sighed, lowering her hands slowly, “I’m done with that. I won’t be trouble,” and for the first time in Ellie’s life, she meant that. She was ready to start over. She knew the fighter in her would always be there, itching to come out but she had been fighting her whole life. It was time to give up. She had already lost everything. Or so she thought. 

Your face softened slightly before firming up again, your empathy peeking through like it always did. You looked her over again, sighing, as you signaled for someone at the gate to come. A man with short blonde hair trotted over, a leash in his hand. He looked kind as he offered a smile to Ellie.

“Old girl here is just gonna check to make sure you’re not infected,” he smiled, dropping the leash. Ellie’s heart rate picked up again as she watched the German Shepherd approach her slowly, sniffing around her as it circled her. You stood behind the blonde guy with your arms crossed across your chest. The dog found nothing and returned to the man, sitting down next to him, “Looks like you’re all clear!”

“Welcome to Mono City,” you deadpanned, rolling your eyes as you turned back towards the gate, walking in that direction. You were halfway there when you realized Ellie wasn’t moving. Turning on your heel again you stared at her, hand on your hip again. You had an attitude, Ellie thought, cute. “You coming or what?”

The small town sat on a large lake, glistening as the sun's rays bounced off the surface. Buildings were built close together, trees without leaves scattered on the walkway, and about a hundred people out on the street as she trailed behind you, earning dirty looks from half of them. Ellie scowled back. Ellie smiled when you introduced yourself to her, telling her your name and a few key details about yourself. She learned you served as some sort of mayor here, keeping everything in order, and that you were the person that people came to. She would be lying if she said that didn’t intimidate her. But all Ellie did was give you her name again and tell you that she was from Jackson, anything else she said would fall short. 

“How are you with your hands?” you asked, voice flat and simple. Ellie choked on her words, stuttering a response. 

“I’m, well,” she coughed, “I’m just okay with them now, since,” she shrugged gesturing to what she now called her ‘bad hand’, “you know.”

A wave of guilt crossed your face as you composed yourself, somehow already forgetting your previous interaction. You shook your head solemnly, cursing quietly under your breath as you stopped. 

“Shit,” you turned to her, eyes squeezed shut, “sorry, I’m so used to asking the same questions, I didn’t even think.”

“It’s fine don’t worry about it,” she gave a tight-lipped smile. Now, with the illumination of the buildings, she could see your whole face. You were pretty, that she was sure of, but it was a more down-to-earth pretty. A type of pretty that you had to take in. You had scars around your face, and a pretty big scar down the side of your neck. It almost looked like the one Ellie had on her arm. But still, scars and all, you were just nice to look at. 

“Well, just for that reason we probably won’t have you be on guard duty,” you stated, eyes flicking around her face, “do you have any other strengths?”

“Uhm,” Ellie had to think for a minute. She had never really been asked anything like this before. What were her strengths? Did she have any at all? She used to be good at guitar, but now she couldn’t play, and that probably wouldn’t be useful at all to anyone here. She was good at art still, something she couldn’t take for granted anymore. It was all she had. The scratched-out drawings of Dina, JJ, Jesse, and Joel were stuffed deep into her bag.

“I’m good at art,” she shrugged, “and writing, maybe.”

“Okay,” you smiled, showing off your teeth, making her warm a bit, “that we can work with. Maybe you can teach at the school.”

“You have a school here?” Ellie gawked. Jackson had a school but it was small and had maybe two or three teachers. 

“Yeah,” you turned to keep walking, making Ellie stumble behind you to keep up, “we have three. An elementary, middle, and high school.”

“Wow,” Ellie was in awe, “It’s not like a military school or anything?” 

“No,” you answered quickly, your voice tight, “It’s not like any of that shit. We don’t fuck with FEDRA here.”

Ellie would be lying if she said that wasn’t music to her ears.

“It’s just like a normal school except we teach a lot more practical things. Things we can use like, cooking, science, and English. Like reading or writing. Since you’re new you will probably start with the elementary school. We also have little extracurriculars and we’ve wanted to introduce art but haven’t been able to find anyone yet.”

“Oh, cool,” was all Ellie said as you both stumbled on what looked like a residential street. There were rows of houses, all that looked the same. There was a road, with cars parked on them and driveways with gates. Most of the houses looked about two stories tall, some had toys lying in the front yards and a few animals were roaming about, small cats and dogs. The porches had furniture on them, little couches and chairs, and as she walked she noticed some people outside with mugs in their hands as if they were drinking their morning coffee. The town looked like something she saw out of a movie, only something she could dream about. Her eyes were wide in awe as you rambled on about something but Ellie was honestly too entranced in everything. Here, in the middle of nowhere was a whole town of people living their lives, as if nothing had ever happened to them. 

“Ellie?” you stopped in your tracks, crossing your arms over your chest. There was your attitude again, “are you even listening?”

“Y-yeah, I am. It’s just-”

“A lot, I know,” you sighed, “but you gotta listen, there are a lot of rules here. Rules that make this place function and if you don’t follow them, you could easily be kicked out.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, genuinely meaning it, “I’m listening, promise.”

“It’s fine,” you gave her a fake smile, turning to push open a gate to a nice house, “This will be your place.”

“Uhm,” Ellie stopped, not entering the front yard, “what do you mean ‘my place’? This is far too big for me.”

“This is the only size our houses come in,” you replied matter-of-factly, “you can just say thank you.”

Ellie blinked as she looked up at the blue house, that looked like it was built yesterday. It had a wrap-around porch and two white columns right by the entrance. The door was a giant white door with a gold handle. This was nicer than any house she’s ever been in, and way too big for one girl.  

“Thank you,” Ellie replied, still awe-struck, “this is just so nice.”

“You’re welcome,” you smiled, fishing around in your bag for something. You pulled out a pair of keys, and handed them to her, “Here’s your house keys. You don’t get a car quite yet, that’s something you have to work your way up to, but there is a bike in the garage. Spring is around the corner so it will get warmer and you should have your car by next winter so don’t worry too much. My house is right across the block, but I’m usually in the City Center if you need me.”

She wrapped her right hand around the keys, tightening them in her palm. She watched as you searched through your bag again and pulled out a little device. 

“This is your walkie,” you took a deep breath, “Try to find me before using it. It’s usually only used for emergencies so just be mindful of that. I’ll be by tomorrow to take you to work, so you have time to get settled in today. Okay?”

“Okay,” Ellie smiled, her voice sounding a little bit breathless.

That night Ellie settled into her new home. Well, she tried to settle into her new home but kept shifting around in every seat and couch, like she couldn’t find something to get comfortable on. She examined every part of the house, picking the smallest room for herself and shoving her backpack in the closet. She took a bath for the first time in months, washing all the dirt and grime off of her. Left in the shower was a bar of soap that looked like it had been handmade and unused. It smelled so good she almost took a bite, but instead chose to use it how it was meant to be used.

As the sun began to set she stepped outside, watching the activity on the block and smiling to herself. Everything just seemed so normal, but with the state of this world this town was certainly abnormal. From her window she could see you in your front yard, feeding a pack of cats that slipped through your white picket fence. She smiled to herself as she watched one rub against your leg, and your gentle hand coming down to pet it. She continued to watch as kids passed your house, waving to you and running back to their homes. 

The next few days were uneventful. Ellie found herself getting used to teaching young kids, always laughing when they asked about her missing fingers. It was out of her comfort zone, but she was around JJ enough to know what kids liked. Her voice always got so high-pitched when she spoke to them, and they liked being chased around the room. On her fifth day of working, a kid ran in screaming, “Miss Ellie! Miss Ellie!” with a chicken scratch drawing of his family. He was so proud that all Ellie could say was “Good job, bud!” and ruffle his hair. He left with the biggest smile on his face.

But now, Ellie found herself at the city’s most popular bar, with the other teachers who wanted to congratulate her on her first week. Della, who invited Ellie out in the first place, made a toast to her, clinking her glass with Ellie’s and taking a long swig of her drink. Ellie took a sip of hers too and fuck, this shit was strong. 

She felt human again, laughing with people her age in a bar and old music playing. She was almost having a good time until a song came on that reminded her of Joel. It was like her whole demeanor changed and everyone could tell. She excused herself from the group finding a small corner to sit on and finish the rest of her drink, hoping maybe it would make her forget everything. But then, the bell at the front door rang making Ellie look up to see who had entered. 

There you were in all your glory, tight shirt on and hair completely loose. It almost looked as if you were wearing makeup. Ellie must’ve been staring too long because she blinked and you were standing in front of her. 

“See you got yourself a drink,” you laughed, voice making Ellie’s cheeks turn pink. She was… really drunk.

“Yeah, I could get you one too,” she slurred a bit, goofy smile spread across her face. She watched as something odd crossed your face and now she was worried she said something wrong, “I just mean, like.. you know… I mean like as a thank you.”

“Right,” you sighed.

“For my mansion, you know,” she shrugged and you giggled. You giggled and it went straight to her head. What was she doing?

“You haven’t been paid yet,” you smiled back at her, now moving to sit down, “and it’s okay, I don’t drink unless it’s a special occasion.”

“What? Meeting me is not special enough,” she teased, knocking her shoulder with yours. Her eyes scanned your face, your smile reaching your eyes as you giggled again. Her stomach sank again. She wasn’t so sure if this was just the alcohol anymore, she felt like she was 12 and crushing on Riley again. 

“No, it’s special,” you reassured, “Maybe, I’ll drink when you decide to stay.”

“Who said I’m not staying?” she questioned sitting up.

“Some people don’t,” you shrugged, smile fading. Ellie’s brain wanted to make it better, make you laugh again, or shit do anything to put the smile back on your face. 

“Well, I’m gonna,” she said gently, so only you could hear her, “I need to get my paycheck.”

You laughed and Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, laughing with you. 

“I’ll get that to you,” you smiled, “and we don’t use paychecks.”

“What’re you gonna pay me with?” she smirked, “I know some other ways you can pay me.” Then the same look from earlier crossed your face and she cursed quietly to herself, muttering an apology. 

“No, no,” you said, like you were about to let her down gently, “I just try not to get… involved with anyone since…” your voice trailed off.

“Since?” Ellie questioned, but as you opened your mouth to speak the group from earlier made their way over, noticing your arrival and screaming your name. She watched as you got up, hugged everyone and started chatting with them, leaving her with her drink and too many questions. 

There was one thing that scared her though. She knew you needed someone who could stay, and the only thing she was good at was leaving.

[sleepyangelkami]

TRUTH OR DARE e.williams

☆ WORD COUNT - 8.7K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

☆ SUMMARY - it started out innocently enough. a sinless sleepover shared between two best friends, one much more experienced than the other. but nothing would have prepared the innocent girl for the events led from a simple game of truth or dare, started by ellie williams who knew exactly what she was doing.

 ☆ WARNINGS - smut, oral + fingering (r. receiving), strap sucking (e. recieving), strap fucking, use of 'my dick' and 'my cock' when referring to ellie's strap, tinsey bit of humping, dom!ellie, sub!reader, innocence kink, size kink, spanking, slight age gap (17 - 19), daddy kink (oops), ellie's lowk the town whore, use of pet names, kinda overstimulation, dumbification, inexperienced reader, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

ellie williams was known in jackson, and not only by the way everyone may think. sure, the girl certainly had been known for the amount of work she put into the town by all of it's residents and of course she was known as the cheery girl, joel millers daughter, the same girl that wouldn't even hesitate to help someone unload bags if she spotted them struggling. ellie williams was known as one of the 'glues' of the town, keeping it put together. but how she was known by the teenage girls of jackson was a very different story.

ellie was fourteen when she came to jackson, she had matured much since then and everyone could see that, especially the girls.

It was no secret that ellie williams got around, nor was it a secret that she had slept with more than half of the girls in jackson, some even straight. but what she wasn't known for, was relationships. she was a hit and dip kind of girl, the one that never stayed the night, never attached herself to anyone, she wasn't the kind of girl to be a girlfriend, and believe me when i say... she rejected too many girls to so much as begin to count.

then there was always you.

you were another one of the glues of jackson, respectful and polite, hardworking but in many different ways than ellie was. you were sweet and kind yet awfully shy, hiding into yourself for the most part. sure, you got on well with the elderlies but when it came to actually having a conversation with a teenager, you ran before you could see the light of day. even the thought of it seemed merely impossible. but that wasn't to say that you couldn't handle everyone. you often went on patrols with dina and jesse, you always helped maria and her husband, along with joel miller too. and you never hesitated to help out with the younger kids, feeling much sympathy for them seeing as they had to grow up in the apocalypse, alike you, and you knew it wasn't too peachy yourself.

then there was ellie. oh, how you loved the girl.

when she first got to jackson, you were beyond admiration, fawning over her every move. when you met her it wasn't romantic, no definitely not, but she was older than you were, so fearless of anything in her path, so good at keeping conversation with everyone she met. she was so... cool.

she had girls practically crawling all over her, she was loved, adored, you weren't jealous of the attention in the slightest. you simply admired it, the way she didn't have to move and it seemed that every girl was fawning over her. she had been with at least half of the teenagers in jackson, and it was no help that most of the girls were... well gay.

you had never really thought about it for you never thought about being in a relationship but when ellie constantly spoke about being lesbian, about all the girls she had been with and i mean.. just look at her! you knew then and there that you too had the very same liking towards girls, after all, you had never really seen yourself getting with a boy anyway, not that you had thought about it.

when ellie noticed your admiration, she instantly took you under her wing, she became the best friend you had always longed for, she and you did everything together, spending all your time with one another down to the very last minute when you finally went to sleep. more often than not, you were sleeping at your house with her. your parents always away on guard duty or even on night patrol and you obviously had the bigger house of you two, so naturally, that was where the sleepovers occured.

just like now as you dressed in your shortest shorts in your wardrobe, pretty and pink, silky and slightly flowly though rather tight against your skin as well as your small tank top, pretty and white, little flowers dotted across the fabric. there was nothing worse than those warm nights in jackson, when everyone was asleep and you were left to deal with the heat alone, no one to complain to.

luckily, you were always attached to ellie's hip.

"I'm so warm!" she groaned in front of the fan, her chin on the palm of her hand in which had been propped up on your bed by her elbow, eyes shutting closed, she couldn't stick the heat any more than you could.

"same." you mumbled, lying on your back with one arm over your eyes, the free hand fanning your face, seeing as the girl had practically hogged the fan, snatching it right from you. the short and skimpy clothes did absolutely nothing to sooth the terrible heat sticking to your skin. you were just thankful that the windows were wide open and the fan was spreading cold air across your room for there was nothing worse than legs sticking together with the heat, or sweating in your bed.

ellie sighed, moving from the fan as she propped herself up next to you, she on her stomach, you on your back, however you couldn't so much as notice her with your arm strewn across your eyes. she was in a black wife beater tank top (one of which, when she had told you the name of, you stared at her with your mouth agape stating that it couldn't be true because who on earth would name a t-shirt that) along with grey sweatpants that looked too hot for this weather. you always mocked her for this, stating that she dressed like a twelve year old boy. "let's play a game to distract ourselves from the heat." she suggested and yet... you knew that playful tone from anywhere.

lifting your elbow, you crained your head up just enough to give her a questioning look. "what kind of game?" voice light and unbothered as you slowly put your arm down, looking up at her while she, face still in her arm, looked down at you.

she grinned―no, she smirked down at your pretty face, hand moving away so she could sit up. "okay." already beginning the game. "truth or dare." your groan and you pushing an arm back around your eyes had her pushing your arm back and rolling her eyes at you. "cut the dramatics." she warned in this tone that had your stomach feeling rather strange, not that you'd ever tell her that. "c'mon, don't you trust me?"

that smirk that played on her lips would be the absolute death of you. you sat up, hair falling down over your chest to hide the shape of your nipples through your shirt... you weren't wearing a bra. you didn't think anything of it, it was just ellie, your best friend, she wouldn't care. "truth." but oh, how it drove her crazy.

"boring." she rolled her eyes, settling on the bed as she criss-crossed her legs, elbows falling on each knee. a smile suddenly spread across her face as she picked the perfect question from her mind. "what's your biggest turn on?" oh, she was jumping straight to the point? you couldn't deny the way your eyes blew wide and instantly, heat spread across your cheeks at her question.

instantly, you turned your face away, hands pushing up in a 'no' motion. "mm-mm, no, can't do this with you ellie-" though it wasn't the first time you spoke about sex. of course, ellie would always tell you every detail of her latest conquests and while you should have been disgusted, you were more intrigued, after all, ellie was your personal sex ed guide. ellie couldn't deny it either, that sick obsession with the way your eyes squinted at her, confused, innocent, oh how she would melt on the spot.

yes you can, her hands grasping at your own, stopping them from moving away. "yes you can!" the hands on your own caused you to go impossibly more red, eyes almost begging, but for what? you were still unsure.

you looked at her, eyes falling as you stared straight forward at her. "i don't even know what my biggest turn on is." but that only had the girl scoffing at you.

it was as if she could read you better than you could yourself. "yes you do!" she almost groaned out, throwing her head back, as if you were annoying her, as if you ever could.

"i don't- i guess, uhm..." you bit down on your bottom lip, thinking back to everything she had ever told you about sex, what was your biggest turn on? it was funny, you don't think you have ever thought about it until that very moment when your hands began to brush against your own skin of your arms. "probably... praise?" you mumbled, barely audible. yes, that seemed like you knew what you were talking about for ellie and jesse had explained it in great detail in front of you before, not directly to you, but you heard anyway, while you and dina were busy looking at a photo album. all you knew was that when those certain words were uttered from ellie's lips, you couldn't help but push your thighs together.

ellie smiled, a smile that had her tongue pushing between her teeth. "yeah?" almost teasing you with that look in her eye, but you knew she wasn't judging either, there was a fine line between teasing and judging, ellie would never cross past the mockery.

"yes, now shut up!" you giggled excitedly, tossing the pillow into her face. however, you remembered to take note of the fact that your parents were home tonight and you didn't wish to make too much noise, otherwise they may come in and the last thing you needed was them overhearing this conversation.

ellie caught the pillow, chuckling as she set it aside, grinning at the funny look on your face. what you thought was awkward, what she thought was downright adorable. "your turn." she nodded at you.

you sat up straighter, moving your hands to stretch out your arms. "truth or dare, els?" the position you were in was anything but comfortable, straining your back.

"fuck it." she spoke, pushing her back up against your many pillows on the bed, you were envious of her. "i'll go with truth too."

now it was your turn to roll your eyes, seeing as she had called you boring for doing the exact thing she was doing now. "hmm, lemme see." you placed a finger on your chin, jokingly, though you were, in fact, in deep thought. you wondered what you'd ask her, there were many questions you wished to ask her before, all about the same topic she just loved to bring up, sex, but you weren't as outgoing nor as confident as she was so when you asked, you were sure it sounded too awkward, not as 'seductive' as she. "what does shower sex feel like?" you suddenly questioned, like an inquisitive student to her teacher.

ellie laughed in your face. "what?"

"what?" you threw your hands up in defence, though you couldn't deny the heat that spread across your cheeks and the embarrassment through your body. "i wanna know and you're like... the sex god?" and now you were really embarrassed.

ellie barked out laughter, throwing her head back again as her hand came down on her stomach, after all, you had called her a sex god, despite the way you meant it. "fuck, i can't!" turning over on her stomach, burying her face into your many plush pillows.

your cheeks were stained crimson. "that's not what i meant!" you protested, simply meaning that she knew so much, not that she was that good. you kicked her leg and just as you were about to toss a pillow at her, you realised you had no more. "just answer the question and save me my pride." hiding your face away in your hands.

"your pride is swallowed, angel." sitting up straight with a simple grin on her face, however, you didn't remove your hands from your own. "it feels good." you peeked through your fingers, she saw that and grinned. she slowly lowered her hand, your eyes watched as her her fingers came down to trace the skin of your leg, you ignored the goosebumps it left, she didn't. "usually starts off with... little massages, gets you all relaxed, you know?" she was practically whispering, suddenly, her body seemed so much closer. "and when you're all relaxed like that, soaking in hot water, the smell of soaps... everything's just so much better." her eyes moved up to your own, your hands had fallen by your side, you gulped gently, a smirk returned on her lips. "truth or dare, angel?"

your body almost let out a whimper, instead, your lips pressed into a thin line. there was a feeling in your throat, though, one that screamed at you to make a noise. but you knew you couldn't, of course you couldn't. "dare." you mumbled, exciting and yet surprising yourself.

you must have surprised ellie too, judging by her face, you definitely did. "oh... someone's confident." shock washing from her face almost instantly, she was well prepared, you weren't. "hmm... okay, I dare you to call me the nickname of my choosing for the rest of the game." okay, you thought, lips turning upwards as you nodded, that wouldn't be hard at all. "and if you mess up... i get to spank you." shrugging as she moved her body backwards, back against the pillows once again.

your eyes blew wide and your mouth fell agape, and yet still, ellie seemed completely unphased. "that's completely absurd el-" she watched you, her mouth opening, waiting for you to mess up. you glared at her. "what's the damn nickname." you grumbled, eyes cast down, though you couldn't deny the sudden excitement rumbling in your stomach, yet also nervousness, itching at the back of your throat once more.

"drop the attitude, will you, bun?" leaning forward again. she knew she could turn the situation around for the worst and she would, why wouldn't she? it was ellie williams for god sake. "the nicknames' daddy." and that was your final straw, eyes almost popping out of your skull. "something wrong? can't handle a simple dare?"

"no." you deadpanned, eyes squinting at her. "i can handle it just fine... daddy." the word seemed foreign, weird, you internally cringed and while ellie smirked, she didn't say another word, she'd wait to embarrass you about it later. "your turn, truth or dare?"

with sudden confidence, one of which it seemed she always had, she answered the question rather swiftly. "dare." without so much as hesitating.

"i dare you to...." looking around the room, you had to get her back but in what way? your eyes suddenly fell on your wardrobe and a grin spread across your face. "show me your polaroids." sure, it was your room but in a box at the bottom of your wardrobe, behind all your clothes and hidden away was all ellie's 'things'. at first, when the girl had practically begged you to keep all of her 'sex things' in your wardrobe, you instantly shut her down, shaking your head and stating that you wouldn't have her strap or other slutty belongings hidden away in your room. however, when she told you the story of joel threatening to tear her room apart to find what he was looking for, you couldn't exactly say no. your parents never entered your room without consent, let alone searched it. it was a place ellie knew her stuff would be safe, and you were her best and friend and oh how you admired her, how could you say no?

ellie stared at you momentarily. "fine." she moved her hands underneath her and made her way over to the wardrobe, opening it and fishing her hands in behind your clothing. you sat on the bed, watching as she opened the box, grasping the polaroid pictures and pushing the box back behind your clothes again, covering it altogether. "now." tossing them onto the bed, right next to you. "do with them, what you please."

you ignored her poor use of grammar and picked up the one closest to your leg while grimacing. you didn't want to look at photos of ellie and her sex buddies but you wanted her to care, to suddenly get nervous and anxious, to twitch and blush the way you do. but she never did, an amused look on her face as she watched yours. you flipped over the polaroid, eyes turning wide. there sat a picture between your finger tips, something strapped into ellie and... inside someone else. you couldn't see the strap really for it was plunged too deep inside some blonde girl, one of which ellie was tugging the hair of. "ew." the look on your face doing nothing to hide the pure distaste you had or the photograph. "who even is that?"

you're question caused the girl to turn around, settling herself right next to you. your knees that were propped up slowly slipped and she took a hold of the polaroid only she didn't take it from your hands, instead she placed hers on top of yours to turn it her way. "no idea." she shrugged and you placed the picture back on the bed.

"what do you mean?" you all but stretched out your sentence. "you just look at someone and say 'you're hot, I wanna have sex with you' and that's... it?" it baffled you, how you could just have sex with a nobody, someone you had no connection to at all, a face you couldn't even remember.

ellie shrugged her shoulders once more. "pretty much." she shrugged her shoulders. you gave the polaroids a look of slight disgust as she picked them up off the bed, rolling her eyes. huffing, she found her way back to the box, placing them back inside before seating herself back onto the bed. "truth of dare."

"truth." deciding that the last dare was much too far, you needed to get it back to the normal tension, not this one for it was much too hot, you couldn't handle it. then again, ellie was anything but casual, she was sure to make this hard for you.

she looked as though she had already planned this out, which she had, a thousand times in her head. "who's the first person you fantasised about?" eyes going wide for a moment as she grinned at you. yes, she surely was not going to make it easy.

you. the simple answer, to the simple question however none of this was truly simple, so you answered. "katy perry, obviously." rolling your eyes as if she had known this already, which she had, she just didn't know that it was a lie.

"oh, come on." she placed her hands on her knees to stabilize herself. "you saw her showing a little too much skin in one magazine and your frigid ass went ballistic." it was true, you had seen her in a magazine one day on patrol and you simply stared, a little starstruck.

"shut up, that's so not true." but oh how it was. you were a prude, at least that was what the teenage boys called you. you didn't engage in any 'activities' nor did you hear much about them unless it were from ellie, but seeing something? well it was graphic enough for your eyes to blow as wide as saucers. "truth or dare?"

"truth." ellie answered almost instantly, without missing a beat.

"stop copying me." you rolled your eyes at her. "uhhh..." rocking forward and backwards with your hands on your knees. "do you think anyone could ever think of... me that way?" tilting your head, sudden insecurities slapping you right in the face. you didn't wish to sound whiny, or insecure but it was ellie williams, she was your best friend and she knew you better than anyone and she had probably the most experience in the entire town, she'd know if you were capable.

"y/n l/n!" she almost shouted, a wide smile stretched across her face, she fawned shock. "are you asking me if i think you're hot."

"my god." you groaned, shoving your face right into a pillow because ellie williams truly never knew when to be serious, and you hated the way every time she laughed, your face felt hot and flush. the sound of a knock on the door caused you both to stop, heads instantly whipping towards the door. "come in!" you yelled out to your parents, you knew it was them for there was no one else home.

"hi, sweetheart." in came your mother, a smile on her wrinkled face, you made an effort to smile back. "hi, ellie." she was met with a wave before she turned back to her daughter. "me and your father are going out for night patrol now, alright? you and ellie might fancy watching a movie down in the living room now that you have the dvd player all to yourselves."

"okay, thank you, mom." you rose from your bed, giving her a short hug. you were touchy like that, especially with your parents, always making sure to give them hugs whenever you saw them, it was just the way you were. "love you, you and dad be safe, okay?"

"always are." she grinned, placing a chaste kiss on your head. "see you later." and just like that, the night turned around, maybe for the better, maybe for the worst, you weren't too sure. all you knew was that at one minute you were sitting in your bedroom, clenching your legs together and ignoring your scratchy throat with your parents downstairs and the next they were gone further beyond the walls while you and ellie sat on the couch, watching some shitty western movie she had borrowed from she and joel's house before, she never did give it back.

for the entire movie, you sat at one end of the couch, curled up with your head laying on the arm rest, knees almost against your chest while ellie sat at the other, legs spread wide and her elbow resting against the back of the couch, fingers toying with the bottom of her mullet like hair.

the rest of the night passed by smoothly. after the movie, you and ellie had agreed to go to bed seeing as you were both awfully tired. however, upon slipping into bed, the lights off and curtain drawn, you realised you weren't actually tired, no, for it was only mere fake tiredness from staring at all of those pixels on the screen.

you stared into the black abyss, ignoring the awfully silent room. you turned, uncomfortable so that now you weren't facing the wall but ellie's back. but you knew from the lack of snores filling the room that ellie too was not asleep for she usually snored rather loud. she sensed you turning around and undoubtedly did the same, eyes open. she gave you a grin. "hi." she whispered into the dark.

you couldn't help but give a toothy smile back. "hi." whispering back, though you weren't sure why you were whispering for it was just you two in the entire house. perhaps it was the dark making you feel as though you should be asleep, so you gently turned around, flicking on the small lampshade next to your bed before plopping back to your original space, huffing out a breath. your eyes fell on ellie's in which were tracing your entire body over. "what?" you giggled.

but she looked up at you with an almost baffled look. the light illuminated her skin and it seemed to make her impossibly more pretty despite the fact you could barely see her face through the darkness. her hand came to your face, two fingers pushing your hair behind your ear. "people think of you like that." she whispered, answering your truth question from much earlier. "i know they do." she knew she did. "truth your dare, baby?"

you ignored the way your stomach twisted in nerves and your cheeks felt as though they were on fire. "We're playing that game again?" almost groaning as if you didn't want this, as if your heart wasn't in your mouth, as if there wasn't something pooling in your underwear.

ellie's mouth turned upwards into a little smirk. "we never stopped." she spoke in an agonisingly teasing tone as she moved her face closer to your own. if she moved another inch or two, your noses would be touching. "so, truth or dare?"

you found your own hands fumbling with one another. "truth." answering, attempting to start it off easily, however, ellie wouldn't make it easy for you, you knew that.

her fingers moved to your arm, stroking up and down your exposed skin due to your white spaghetti strap top. "do you touch yourself a lot?" her voice a low mumble, you wondered how she could say it so casually, as if she wasn't effected by the spoken words, and that alone seemed as though it were impossible.

your cheeks flamed a hot crimson colour. you would have protested, stating that it were too inappropriate to speak of, but you didn't, why? you didn't know. but you didn't protest, you couldn't because you knew deep down that you had dreamed of this moment since you met her. "sometimes..." you muttered back, voice wavering. "not a lot." but on the nights you did, it was a feeling unlike you ever could have imagined.

"yeah?" you nodded your head dumbly. "how?"

and as badly as you wished to answer, as badly as you wanted her to know everything, you couldn't for your embarrassment prohibited you from it. "it's not your turn." you mumbled, embarrassment thick in your veins as the girls lips curled upwards once more. "truth or dare?"

you wanted her to pick dare, you wanted to choose something completely wild but you knew she wouldn't because for every question in this game, she's chosen the very same as you did. "truth." she responded swiftly.

"have... you ever thought of me like that?" had she ever fantasized about you, is what you wanted to know, what you needed to know. you needed to know if she felt the same, if she too spent her nights with dirty thoughts occupying her mind. dirty thoughts about you, like the ones you had about her.

"all the time." She mumbled and your heart dropped to your ass. "sometimes when i'm... with someone-" her hand still stroking up your arm. "i have to imagine it's you to finish- no, not sometimes." she corrected. "every single fucking time." and you didn't know how to breathe. "truth or dare?"

thankfully, ellie had moved it right on, so you could be free of those smothering thoughts, the ones that had your thighs clenching together right now. "dare." because if you choose truth, she'd simply ask you the very same thing she did beforehand. 'how' did you touch yourself, that was something you didn't know if you were ready to say or not.

ellie's lips curved upwards into a smug smirk. you had walked right into her trap. "show me how you touch yourself." and this was worse. way way worse.

"wha-" suddenly all your breath had left your lungs. "i can't just-"

but ellie was quick to cut you off. "a dare is a dare, angel." shrugging her shoulders as she sat up, you followed in suit. "unless you're too scared." she shrugged her shoulders and if there was one thing you hated more than this situation altogether it was backing down to ellie, her thinking that you were 'scared' even when you were.

you huffed out, staring at her with her big dopey smile spread across her face. "fine." you spoke, voice wobbling once more. "but you can't make fun of me."

"me?" ellie fawned shock. "I'd never." and you rolled your eyes at that one. "whenever you're ready, baby." you'd never be ready but there was a certain haze over the room, a certain gloss over your eyes that told you to do it, maybe it was your cunt talking, you didn't much care, simply huffing out a breath as you prepared yourself. nothing would prepare you for this moment, the moment you had fantasized about since you were twelve. you moved to grab a pillow, a pink, satin one to be exact. ellie couldn't stop her smirk, you have got to be kidding me, she thought, unable to contain her smug features. you truly had no idea what you were doing. you couldn't look at her, not when you lowered yourself down onto the pillow, still clad in your pink shorts that pushed out by your ass. "it's okay, honey, take your time." her soothing voice actually helped and you finally lowered yourself down onto the pillow which you had done a thousand times before... but now that there was someone watching, you couldn't contain your nervousness.

you let out a shaky breath as your hands fell down, grasping at the pillow to hold it in place. ellie watched your small form get comfortable before rutting your hips forward. at first, you were met with mere ruts, small pathetic breaths until finally, the sensation began to built up in your tummy. maybe it was because of the pillow or maybe it was because she was watching. you don't know what possessed you but it was almost as if you had forgotten she was in the room with you. you rolled your hips against the pillow again and again, this time with more force and much faster, no stops in between. a mewl fell from your lips as you pushed your ass out again, the friction from the pillow against your clit was... good but surely not enough.

luckily for you, ellie could see right through you. she knew you better than anyone and she knew just how to make you feel good. "poor baby." she cooed causing you to rut your hips again, pathetic whimper falling from your lips. "you've never came with this, have you?" you eventually slowed to a stop, the feeling of her hand on your thigh enough to cause the heat in your panties to pool further. you shook your head, holding back an embarrassed whimper. she moved up, lips against your ear. "need daddy to help you feel good?" you had forgotten all about the nickname from before but hearing it roll of her tongue, uttered from her lips, you found yourself audibly whining as you nodded your head swiftly. she placed a chaste kiss against your neck. "words, bun."

"need you to help me." your voice turned into a whine, one you had never heard from your own lips, in fact, you had never heard anybody so needy, you were almost embarrassed. almost. the haze over your eyes stopped you from feeling like that. "please." ellie had enough.

she was quick to flip you over, pushing the pillow from underneath you and out onto your bedroom floor. she wasn't hovering over you for a second before she had dipped her head down, roughly kissing your lips. this was the first kiss you had ever recieved and you found yourself never wanting something more. her hands were on your waist, yours around her neck as you pushed your head up to kiss against her lips just as roughly, needy, sloppily. she herself couldn't get enough. making out with you had been what she dreamed of since she had become friends with you and now she was here, she wasn't going to let you go easily.

ellie didn't know how to tell you something, so instead, she let you feel it. she grinded her core against yours allowing you to feel the strap already strapped to her beneath her sweatpants. you gasped at her, mouth detatching from her own. "when did you-" shocked as you felt it grind against your core, letting out a whimper that cut you off instantly.

she breathed heavily against your lips, a grin on her face. "when you went to the bathroom." she stated as if it were some little secret she had been dying to share with you. you couldn't contain your noises as she grinded against you again, this time slower, raking up your shorts as she did. "fuck, need to take these off you." she spoke, pulling at your pink shorts. "can i take them off you, angel?"

"please." you whined, watching as she nodded her head, moving her hands so she could grasp at the waistband, pulling it clean off you and simply leaving you with your white cotton panties on, a very much so obvious wet patch on them.

"fuck." she grunted, tossing the shorts somewhere on the ground, presumedly with the pillow. "all worked up already?" she moved her hand, finger gently tracing over the circle on your panties, your little wet patch that drove her absolutely insane, almost over the edge.

you weren't stupid, you knew what happened next and you simply couldn't wait. "please." you begged, whimpering into thin air as you bucked your hips forward. "please just t-touch me." and ellie waited, you knew what she was waiting for so you didn't keep her waiting long, after all, you didn't much like to wait either. "please, daddy." words almost a whispered whine.

"good girl." she praised, grasping at your panties so she could pull them down your legs. you shifted, squirming as your core met the cold air of the bedroom. ellie shoved the panties into her sweatpants pocket, you didn't bother say a word, too busy waiting in anticipation for what she would do next. ellie's eyes met your core, a small grunt leaving her mouth as she dipped her fingers down. her head turned up, watching your face contort at the feeling of her fingers pressing against your lips, one finger sliding through to collect the slick. she turned her head back down, pulling her fingers away and spreading them, looking at your slick that coated it, she found herself laughing. "fuck, you're so wet, aren't you?" you didn't wish to respond, hands falling on your face to cover your blushed cheeks. "nuh-uh, none of that." pushing her clean hand up to pull your own away, you stared at her with crimson cheeks. "use your words." she whispered against your ear, placing a kiss right beneath the lobe. "use your words or i'll stop."

you whined with your lips shut at that. "a-all for you." you mumbled out embarrassingly but you never took your eyes off of her.

she hummed, a smirk on her lips. "I'm sure." she pushed her fingers back down again, pointer finger rubbing tight circles around your clit, she watched as you moaned out, flushed cheek against her shoulder as she practically hovered over your side. she did it again and again, watching your face change and listening to your pathetic little mewls falling from your lips. the sight was straight up pornographic. so, of course, the girl just had to push you even further. she moved her middle finger, lining it up with your core and plunged a finger in.

"oh my god!" you held onto her biscep, listening to her laugh as she pumped the finger in and out of you, you had never done anything like this before. you should have been scared, but you were too busy thinking about the feeling building up in your stomach, the one that was familiar yet oh so foreign. you had felt good before but this... this was very different.

"yeah? you like that, hm?" almost teasing tone as she pushed another finger in causing you to squeal loudly. the feeling of her two slender yet very long fingers pumping in and out of you caused many different sounds to fall from your lips, ellie wondered how many she'd be able to get out of you. she picked up her pace, sliding them in and out with ease as they were coated in your thick juices. she thanked god you were so wet, it made it so much easier to play with your pussy. though, she did hope god was nowhere near that bedroom in that given moment. "feels good, angel?"

you whined, nodding your head. "s-so good." you clutched at her shirt, hoping for something to bring you back down to earth, but it wouldn't work. on the contrary, it only fuelled her to go faster. "i think, i'm gonna-"

you had never orgasmed before, but this was the best you had ever felt. surely, this was how it felt to being close. and ellie could tell you were too for your core clenched around her fingers, practically swallowing them whole. "i know, angel, it's okay." she moved her thumb up, rubbing circles against your clit as she continued to move her fingers in and out of your tight hole, she wondered how on earth her strap was supposed to fit inside there. "let go f'me, bunny." and you did. there were a string of moans leaving your mouth, including... her name. she smirked up at you, knowing you hadn't the slightest clue of the mistake you made by moaning out her name. however, she was sure to have fun with it nonetheless.

she waited until you came down from your high, until your moans had just turned to harsh breaths, quick pants as you laid on your back, blinking heavily. never in your life had you ever felt so good, your core almost felt strange without her fingers inside of it. you had gotten a taste, you needed so so much more, you needed everything.

you felt ellie bend her head down, pressing chaste kisses against your neck as you breathed out another pant, eyes chasing hers. she returned her face towards yours, a knowing smirk plastered on it, your brows furrowed. "think you called me by the wrong name, honey." your jaw went slack at the realisation. "games not over yet." at the same time as fear entered your body, excitement ran through it.

ellie was quick to move, pushing you instantly so that you were draped across her lap, she manhandled you, as if you were a toy, so easy to pick up and toss around. and in her eyes, you truly were. after all, she had picked you up and thrown you across her lap as if you were, in fact, a doll. "wait." you whined out, suddenly scared. you knew that you had agreed to the dare but the thought of her hand coming in contact with your ass, the thought of her hurting you, it was rather scary. " 'm sorry daddy." you cried out pathetically, as if it would save you now.

"i know you are, bunny." her hand came down on your bare ass gently, rubbing along your skin as if you were a china doll made of glass, she grinned as you practically held onto her leg. you almost thought that she was going to let you off, but you knew better. "that's why daddys gonna be really nice to you tonight. i'll only give you five, 'kay?" you nodded your head despite your wobbling lip, this earned a small swat to your bottom. "words, angel."

"okay, daddy." mumbling out adorably as you held onto ellie as much as you could, scared that if you let go she'd disappear. your eyes shut close together at the feeling of her hand lifting from your ass. you squinted them close, ready for heavy impact and well.. pain. but as her hand came down, slapping your skin harshly, you didn't feel all too much in pain. it was a sort of elevating, almost gratifying feeling. you wondered, why would something that was suppose to cause pain, actually cause pleasure? or, was that the whole point in the first place? your thoughts of rambling were cut off by another slap. you flinched, despite the feeling of pleasure, it still stung and you could only imagine how red your ass would be now. you flinched in her lap, causing her large hand to have to hold you in place so you didn't move. you whined out as the third hit came down on your pretty skin. ellie smirked to herself, her plan working out gracefully.

she rubbed your skin once more, placing a chaste kiss on the bottom of your back before returning. "you're doin' so good for daddy, baby, you'll get a reward later, m'kay?" but this time, she didn't offer you a chance to respond, didn't even give you time to do so for she was spanking you once more. you wondered if this was her plan all along, why she had ever bothered to play truth or dare in the first place. but despite ellie's wild imagination about you, and about this very moment, you across her lap and her own hand spanking you, she didn't actually intend for it to go this far, however, she loved it more than she could ever explain. "one more, bun." and that was it, one more sharp stinging slap as you flinched once more, teary eyed and pouty lips as the girl allowed you to crawl into her lap.

ellie's lips were far from a pout herself, on the contrary, there was a pretty smile playing on it. she pushed your hair behind your ear. "was so good for daddy, weren't you baby?" you nodded your head as you pushed it into the crook of her neck. she began to rock her hips slightly, knowing that her strap was bumping against your already soaked and sensitive pussy. "yeah, my good girl." rubbing your sides up and down. "what do you say i give you that reward now, hm?" you sat in her lap, nodding your head briskly.

it didn't take long to get to where you were. sitting on your knees completely naked in front of ellie who too was now completely naked all except for the strap that was strapped to her lower half, dangling in front of you as your mouth completely covered it. it was neon pink, pretty and... very long. your eyes were shut as your tongue felt around the silicone toy, whimpering as it hit the back of your throat.

ellie had earlier stated that she was going to fuck you with it and of course with big eyes and a watering mouth, you indefinitely agreed to it but when she told you that you'd need to prepare first, you had no idea what she was talking about. you were scared, nervous, completely gone timid, worried you'd mess up in some way. nonetheless, when you finally had her strap in your mouth, you couldn't get enough.

ellie was sitting on the bed, legs spread apart as if she were man spreading while you knelt on the ground, hands holding onto her thighs after she had guided the toy in between your lips. you moaned into it as she pushed your head down further. her hand had somehow would up at the back of your head, fingers interlacing your locks of hair.

she pushed your head down on the strap, bobbing it so that the strap moved, bumping against her own clit. "fuck, just like that." her voice tight, her throat closing up. but she could feel it, the stimulation becoming oh so much, so she forced your head up, allowing you to stop. you watched her closely, moving your head away so that a string of spit connected your lips with her strap. "fuck, baby, y'look so pretty like this." she mumbled, her thumb swiping across your glossy lips, she groaned, she couldn't get enough. "c'mere." patting the bed as she too readied herself.

" 'kay." you mumbled, standing up on your wobbly legs. you felt them become like jelly beneath you, whether it was from your first orgasm, whether it was due to the spanking you had recieved from earlier or it was simply because you had been on your knees for rather long, or perhaps it was a combination of them all. you sat yourself on the bed, instantly becoming attacked by ellie's kisses.

her hand came up to sooth your cheek, fingers softly padding against your lithe skin. she sloppily kissed you, hot, open mouthed and messy kisses. you moaned into it, finding it hard to kiss back, the heat in your core suddenly returning as you felt your own hand sitting between your legs, you found yourself almost grinding on it. you couldn't take it, though, not when you felt so high and yet recieved no friction in where you needed it the most.

ellie noticed this, however, she never scolded you, instead she simply pushed your shoulders back gently. the kiss was detatched as you found your body falling limp against the mattress beneath you. however, the girl instantly towered over your frame, lips pushing down to meet your own. there was a sense of need, one of desperation as you kissed her back, finding your lips completely chasing her own.

she made a move to stand her hands on either side of your head, trapping you while she also lined herself up, making it easy to slip in, but she didn't. she moved one hand down, not breaking the kiss as she slightly pumped the silicone dick, lining it up with your entrance but only allowing the tip to tease at your hole. you whined out harshly, grasping at her shoulders and looking up at her with big doey eyes.

"what's wrong baby?" she asked in such a condescending voice, knowing how desperately you needed her. but how dumb you felt now, you couldn't even speak, words becoming a complete mush inside your brain. "c'mon, can't give you what you want if you don't tell me what it is, bunny." fingers stroking at your inner thigh.

you simply couldn't help it anymore, despite as dumb as you felt. "please, daddy, please— need it so bad, please, just want you in me please, please!" you were a babbling, waffling mess as you tried anything you could, even bucking your own hips in hopes of slipping her strap in further.

her lips came down to kiss against your neck, cutting off your babbles with a whimper. "as you wish, love." and slowly, she entered. you moaned out, wincing slightly as your hands clawed at her bare back, not so much as covered in a bra by now. you couldn't help the way you clenched around it, sensitive area already so stimulated. you felt dumb, completely and utterly fucked out by just her fingers. "fuck." she grunted, her head bent down low to meet the crook of your neck, hovering over you as her strap made it's way inside. "fuck, that hurt?" but you didn't respond, simply shaking your head with an 'mm-mm' because, truly, it was all you could muster.

however, it did hurt, just a slight stinging feeling but it soon went away. ellie could tell this, despite your answer because ellie knew you better than you knew yourself and she certainly knew your body. so, she didn't move for a brief moment, allowing you to collect yourself and breathe a breath out. "c-can you move?" you asked feebly, you knew she was awaiting your command, but you found it so incredibly hard to ask, you knew you shouldn't feel so embarrassed. after all, it was ellie, your best friend, the girl you had been so utterly in love with since you laid eyes upon her. there was no one you'd rather be doing this with.

" 'course i can, baby." pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek before she began to move.

it began slow, the way her hips slowly pulled out, not the full way, of course, then slowly pushing back in. the pace began to pick up after that and her thrust was a little more powerful. her eyes strained down on where you met, she couldn't help the groans that left her lips at your pitiful whimpers, the ones in which it awfully hard to stop herself from letting go completely.

but soon after she found you both comfortable. she did, in fact, let go.

she was soon enough slamming her hips against your own. it didn't take long, for her self control to be thrown right out of the window. she didn't stop her swift pace at anything. the room had a lingering smell of sex, there were beads of sweat on both your foreheads. "fuck, yeah, taking my dick so well." she grunted out, shoving her strap into your pussy further, allowing it to reach your g spot as you moaned out loudly.

your legs had soon found themselves wrapped around her waist, her hand on the bottom of your lower back as you found your own arms holding her shoulders close. she could feel your tits against her own, pushing up against her as she fucked you with everything she could, free had on your thigh, prodding and squishing at the loose fat while her strap pumped into your tight hole. you were a babbling mess, moaning and mewling, fast whimpers falling from your lips and all rather loud. but how could you fight it? when her 'dick' felt so good inside of you, when she pumped it so hard yet so delicately. you felt as though you were on fire, you were sure, there was no better feeling than this. you felt so good that you couldn't even form coherent sentences.

with your whines and mewls she only picked up her pace, strap bumping against her clit as she fucked you hard, practically fucking you right into the mattress. "you like my cock?" she panted out, heavy and quick. she took your mewl and went with it, a big smirk plastered onto her face. "fuck, yeah you like daddy's cock." and you couldn't even deny it, for it was very true.

there was a feeling building up in your stomach, one of which had you screaming. you knew exactly what it was, for you had felt it the same way you did beforehand, the very same feeling you felt when her fingers were buried into your tight hole. and ellie too, could feel her own stomach building up with tension. she glanced down, to where her strap disappeared inside your tiny hole, a creamy ring sitting at the base of where you connected. down to every girl she had ever fucked, this was undoubtedly the best. she had never felt so euphoric in her entire life.

your high pitched whine, attempt to babble out words, it alerted ellie just what who was coming. "i know, i know." shushing you like a baby as he held onto you as tight as she could, her knuckles turning a white colour instead of her naturally olive skin. she too let out more grunts than she could afford, barely able to keep her noises contained as she rammed her hips against yours. "come f'me, angel, come on daddy's cock." and that was it, once again you were falling apart like mush in her hands.

the sight of you, turning to putty in her very own arms, she couldn't help herself, she too felt herself letting go. she turned her hips into sloppy slaps against your body, lips chasing yours as she attempted to kiss you hard yet messily, you could barely kiss back, however you did your very best, wanting nothing more than to please ellie.

finally, she slipped her silicone strap outside of you, turning to lay on her side as she still held you in her arms. your own hands came up to grasp her strong bicep, tired and droopy eyes not bothering to so much as look up at her. you couldn't move, too dumb, too fucked out, you couldn't so much as utter a word. at that, ellie grinned a wide grin, knowing only two orgasms had you so fucked out and overstimulated, she felt pride booming in her chest for after all, she did that. "truth or dare, baby?" she joked causing you to roll your eyes.

with all the energy you could, you shoved her chest a little. "shut up." you mumbled before sticking your head right between her arms and her chest, allowing yourself to burrow.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[cinnamoonnoah]

real footage of yall fuckers

[gethelpplease]

All the Pretty Stars (shine for you, my love)

Ellie x Reader

tags: fluff, stargazing, loser Ellie, cursing, best friends to lovers, one-shot, Loser!Ellie, Jackson!Ellie

synopsis: You and Ellie have been friends since she first came to Jackson. The moment you saw her, you knew she was special. Years later you suddenly realize you're in love with her. One day while stargazing, everything changes between the two of you.

Or: A fluffy fic with making out and a cute little forehead kiss at the end.

word count: 4.7k

AN: I might make a second part with angst. I'm not sure I just rlly wanna write Ellie angst but we'll see if I ever get the time to. School is taking over my life. Anyway, I posted this on ao3 too: All the Pretty Stars (shine for you, my love) by siriusly_not_moony

Enjoy! <3

The view of the stars in Jackson was the best thing anyone could ever see. Ever since the outbreak, there hasn’t been much light pollution outside of QZs. Meaning,1 there’s a good view almost anywhere else. This makes the view of the stars pretty clear, but Jackson has something everywhere else doesn’t have. Ellie Williams. Stargazing with her isn’t just “stargazing.”

Ellie first got to Jackson when she was fourteen, you remember very clearly. Seeing her for the first time quite literally knocked the breath out of you. You’d been in Jackson for a while before her, still adjusting to the new environment. Tommy had finally given into your pestering to improve your defense skills for patrol at 14. Maria never let you go of course, she said you needed more practice and maybe when you turned 16, she would let you. Once she let up, going on patrols with Tommy, Joel, and Ellie, made the pair of you closer. Your connection with Tommy is how you got to meet Ellie. Without him, you probably would have never approached her. He kept insisting you should talk to her, “She’s only a few weeks apart from you, Joel says she’s a good kid. Just talk to her.” “Kid, you need friends, just say hi.” “You know, Joel says she likes comics. Just like you.”

Meeting Ellie was confusing to describe it at best. She was kind, but very curt with all her responses. You almost felt as if she didn’t really care to get to know you. As for you, she was all you thought about since you first saw her.

Joel and Tommy were talking as the three of them walked down to the stables. You watched quietly as they got closer. Ellie stayed close to Joel, but a bit behind silently looking down, looking anywhere but the pair of brothers. It was obvious she felt a bit out of place. You honestly felt bad for her. She must not know anyone in Jackson yet, the only people she knows are grown adults.

They stopped near the open doors of the stables; you were in the first stall brushing Willow’s mane. She was your neighbor’s horse, but she liked you a lot for some reason.

You leaned against the stall door, “Hi.”

Ellie took a few seconds to turn around and see you, a straight look on her face, but her eyes. She has sad eyes. Beautiful, sad, green eyes. The eyes you want to stare at forever, to draw hundreds of times until it’s perfect. The eyes that put you in a trance when you see them up close. And those freckles.

Regret started to fill your stomach, but you pushed it back. You’re doing this for her, so she has a friend. Not because she’s the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. Her eyes were so mesmerizing. You’ve never seen eyes so hypnotizing. And they were looking at yours now. “Hi?”

“Oh,” You introduce yourself completely forgetting how social interactions go for a moment. “I—uh Tommy mentioned you’re about my age, I just wanted to introduce myself. I’ve only been in Jackson for about a year, so I know what it’s like to be new to it all. But, um, if you want a look around, I can show you?”

“Uh,” She looked back at Tommy and Joel. They were definitely into whatever it was they were talking about. You could see Ellie’s internal debate deciding if she should or shouldn’t accept your offer. “Sure.”

“Cool! I’m kind of still learning new things about this place every day. It’s kind of awesome how a place like this is growing and flourishing. It gives me hope you know?”

“Yeah.”

“So, where are you from?”

“Boston QZ.”

“Oh.” She seemed distracted. Or uninterested, who could tell? “So, what brought you here?”

She sighs, “It’s a long story. I came here with Joel. He was looking for Tommy. He found him now so…that’s that.”

You didn’t want to ask about that yet, it seemed a bit too sensitive for a first conversation. “This is the community garden. Some people grow their own stuff in their own yards for easy access, but this is the main source. We all help out here.”

You showed her around the most important parts of town. You found out she’s staying around the corner, just a minute's walk away. She cracked a smile once when you mentioned that almost everyone you knew would rather run into infected than listen to Seth drunkenly rant about his philosophical discoveries that make zero sense. You walked her back to her place after roughly less than an hour. You gave her directions to your place and said goodbye with a smile. The one you got in return made you weak to your knees.

After that first interaction, you didn’t speak for a couple of days before you saw her at the diner for breakfast. After that, you got breakfast together every day, which led to hanging out together. After a couple weeks of talking, you actually felt a really strong connection to her. She was your first real friend, and it was the best thing ever.

A couple years later, once Maria let you out on patrol, you convinced her to let you go with Ellie. And Joel and Tommy of course. She wouldn’t trust just the two of you alone. At this point, you spent most of your days with her. You got to know Joel too. You got to know just how sassy that man was despite his tough exterior. He was definitely Tommy’s brother.

Now, it was safe to say Ellie was your best friend. You two also made friends with Dina, Jesse, Cat, Riah, and Travis. You were also acquainted with a few others who you met through Dina. Meeting Dina really brought you out of your shell, and you can thank her for it. She’s the reason why you allowed yourself to become friends with other people. Dina was both yours and Ellie’s closest friend, besides each other. That’s why you came to Dina when you realized you were completely in love with Ellie. You knew you had a crush on her when the two of you had just started talking, but you were convinced it would go away. You pushed it back and kind of thought it did go away, but years later you now know that’s not the case. One day it just dawned on you that you were in love with her. One random, normal day.

You and Ellie were lying about on her bed. You found a bottle of alcohol on patrol and obviously brought it back. You two were drinking out of it just until you felt a buzz, not trying to get too drunk. Because of this, you two reached a somewhat dizzy and sleepy state. She was practicing a familiar tune on the guitar while you were sketching exactly what you saw. You both bonded over drawing, she was definitely better than you. She was always getting so much better so quickly. It was amazing. You were drawing the freckles on her face and that one distinct freckle on the top of her left cheek when you just started staring freely at her. She was distracted and you took the opportunity to just take in all of her features. In doing so, you got a dangerously strong feeling of butterflies in your stomach. You felt it first, and then a few beats later you realized what that meant. Your breath was suddenly gone.

Shit.

You sat up clenching your jaw trying to think straight for just one moment.

I’m in love with Ellie Fucking Williams…

In love. Love. God, this isn’t going to go away.

That night you slept beside her which was kind of a normal thing for the two of you. She slept soundly from what you could hear, but you stayed up for hours nervous and jittery. You only got a few hours of consistent sleep.

When you finally got the chance to tell Dina, she already knew of course. You told her about your “big realization,” but she said it was incredibly obvious from the very beginning. She even thought you and Ellie were dating before you two became friends with her.

She helped you come up with an outline on what to tell Ellie. It really shouldn’t be that difficult to talk about your feelings, but this is Ellie. Your best friend who you know is a bit emotionally constipated. You feel like even if there was a chance that she liked you back, she would never grant herself the ability to do anything about it. For someone so deserving, she never let herself be truly happy.

“You got this.” Dina grinned your way as she walked you to the door.

You spun quickly back towards her ready to go back to her bed and just talk to her instead of Ellie.

Dina grabbed your shoulders and turned you back to the door, literally kicking you out. “Nope. You’re doing this today. Trust me, it’ll work out.”

“No Dina, I really don’t think I can. If she turns me down, I will actually hide away forever. I’ll go throw myself into a horde of infected and it’ll be your fault.”

She lets out a long sigh and gives you a knowing look as you stand outside her door, “If you never do it you could be missing out on something really beautiful. At least try? You both deserve to be happy.”

You groan loudly. You agree with her of course, if the roles were reversed you would probably tell Dina the same thing. “Okay. I’ll do it, just give me a few days to prepare. I’ll talk to her sometime this week. I want to.”

“Yes you will.”

“Thank you Dina. I probably would have rotted in self-doubt without you. I’ll see you for dinner.”

“Bye Hun.” She gives you a small finger wave as you walk away.

After that conversation with Dina, you tried to keep your feelings for Ellie behind a curtain. The last thing you would want is to make things weird between you and her. You also noticed that knowing how you felt and continuing your friendship as normal was pretty tiring. You had to constantly think about every choice you made and every word you said. In a perfect world, you told her the moment you knew and she told you she liked you back. Too bad. This isn’t that world. Ellie is hard to read. Yeah, she smiles at you a lot, will stare at you when she thinks you don’t notice, and she’ll hold you or play with your hair when you guys watch movies. That’s being friendly. You kinda do some of those things with Dina? Despite your internal emotional battle, you told Dina you would tell Ellie. You’re not doing this for Dina though, you’re doing this for yourself. Going on pretending you’re not completely in love with Ellie would be too much.

It was a couple days later when got to spend the entire day with Ellie. Those days came rarely now. You love spending time with Ellie, so it wasn’t exactly a problem, but you definitely needed some time alone at the end of it all. You were laying down in an empty field behind one of the small playgrounds. The grass was a bit taller and uncomfortably itchy, so you had a sheet under you and your mini telescope lens Maria gave you for your 16th birthday. This was your spot to look at the stars at night. Ellie would usually go with you since she loves space too, but you didn’t tell her you were here this time. Because of that, you didn’t expect to hear footsteps approaching. Much less Ellie’s footsteps.

You sit up to look behind you, “What’re you doing here?”

“Tommy told me where you were.”

“I thought you were going to sleep earlier tonight since you have morning patrol.”

“Yeah, but…I dunno, I changed my mind.” She sat beside you partly on the grass. You knew she wouldn’t really be bothered by the grass since she’s wearing pants and a long sleeve, but you scooted over to make a bit more room for her. You patted the spot next to you and she took the offer and smiled, “I wanted to make sure you were okay. You were kinda spacey today. You know? I feel like you zoned out a lot.”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” You stare back up at the sky hoping she isn’t thinking too much into your behavior. “I’ve just been tired.”

“Yet you’re out watching the stars in the middle of the night.”

You chuckled, “Whatever.”

You let out a big sigh. A few moments of silence fall over you two, but it’s comfortable.

You lay back down on your sheet to get a good look at a small bunch of stars that look like one of the constellations you read about. You turn your head a bit to the right, and you are finally able to connect the stars and make out the figure you’ve been trying to find for a few nights. Ellie’s still sitting up, watching you observe the stars. You look at her and she takes a few seconds to notice. She had a soft smile on her face that was so beautiful it haunted you. When she notices you’re shift of attention she darts her eyes around before finally settling back on you, accompanied with a confused look.

“I found it!”

“Found it?”

“The constellation we were looking for the other night. I found it. C’mere.”

She lays down by you, her shoulder touching yours. “Where?”

“Here!” You point to a spot in the sky, but it doesn’t seem very effective. You lean over, your face so close to Ellie’s, looking at the sky. Your eyes are trying their hardest to stay focused on the sky despite the fact that Ellie’s eyes are like magnets. You’re trying to see the stars from her perspective to give her a better idea of where the bunch of stars are. “There.” You say quietly due to your proximity.

When she notices your eyes on the sky her eyes follow, hoping you didn’t see where her eyes were originally. She looks back at you and her eyes dart to your lips before looking back and forth between your left and right eyes. She slightly licks her lips causing you to look at them. It becomes too much so you lay back down in your original spot.

You take a few seconds to regain your calm, releasing a soft sigh. “Um, this was the dog constellation I was telling you about.” You had a moment. You definitely had a moment.

“The one with that super bright star? Sirion? No, wait, Sirius?”

“Yeah, Sirius. Did you learn that from the constellation book I gave you?”

“Obviously…Have you read the space mysteries book I gave you?”

“I’ll have you know that I have read some of it, actually.”

“You haven’t.” She said with a deadpan face.

“No, I really have,” you say giggling, “I swear!”

“I can never tell when you’re being sarcastic.” She rolls her eyes and lets out a gruff breath as she turns her head the other way.

You two lay in silence for a few minutes enjoying the quiet ambience. In Jackson, most settle down around 10:30 p.m. The only noise you hear now is the wind causing leaves to rustle against each other, a few crickets, and the soft background of cicadas.

“I have a question.” Ellie says randomly.

“What?” You respond still laying down on your back, eyes darting between Ellie and the sky. One reason why you love the stars and constellations so much might, or might not, be because of how they remind you of Ellie’s freckles. It just makes so much sense. She has the bigger more prominent freckles under her left eye and above her left eyebrow kind of like how there are brighter stars in constellations. You smile to yourself just thinking about it.

“Okay,” she says moving to lay down on her side with her head propped up on her fist, “you said that you immediately liked me when you first saw me, but what did you mean? Because I was really thinking about it the other day and I remember kind of being a jerk when we first met.”

Thinking about that makes you chuckle. She wasn’t that much of a jerk she just acted as most teens do when they see someone their age. The weird critical glances and kind of guarded attitude. “I don’t know. You—I mean… you weren’t a jerk from what I remember. Maybe I just ignored it. But, you did seem shy like you were afraid to make friends and I think that made me want to be friends with you more. And I liked you when I instantly saw you because you… I don’t know I just immediately knew I had to talk to you. I didn’t have any real friends at that point in my life, but I thought maybe it could be you.”

“Wow.”

“Shut up. I don’t mean to be cheesy but I just got a feeling I guess.”

“No, no, it’s cute.”

“Yeah whatever… What about you? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you’re first impression of me. Just that you’re glad that I talked to you.”

“I mean there’s not much to say. You said it all.”

“Uh, yeah. I said my side. Now I wanna know your side.” You poke her shoulder with your finger to make your point.

“Ok… fine,” She pauses for a second gathering her thoughts, “I remember seeing you kinda linger around when I first rode in with Joel. I didn’t want to look your way ‘cause I knew you were looking at me. I definitely knew you were weird.” You shove her shoulder, a wide smile plastered on your face. “I didn’t really expect to make friends actually. You already know I’ve only ever had one real friend my age, so when you came up to me, I thought I should try. I remember that talk very clearly actually. You gave me a tour and a rundown on how the social life is here. We talked a bit about our interests, and I found out you liked comics too, so I think that did it for me.”

“Aw, it wasn’t my great jokes?”

She shouts, “Ha!” Obviously making fun of you.

“Your puns are just as bad so you better keep your mouth shut.”

“My puns are amazing. You know you love them. You’ve told me before.”

“Mmm, no. Must have me confused for someone else.”

She smiles and nods her head, a sweet look on her face you wish you could take a photo of.

“The moon looks so nice right now.” She says as she stares in awe at the full moon overhead. She then reaches over you to grab the mini telescope lens. When she grabs it, it rolls off a bit causing her to lose her balance and slip. She catches herself before she slams into you, just hovering over you with her hand on the side of your head and the other half-folded on your other side providing her with support.

Your instant reaction was to grab her, so your hand is hovering over her waist, “You okay?”

“Yeah, my bad.” She still hasn’t moved, staring at your eyes, then looking around your entire face.

Your heart is beating too fast and too strong. You feel the need to breathe faster, but you can’t make it too obvious. You’re staring at her lips just waiting for her to do something because you don’t have the will to make the first move. Then you see her lips form into a smirk, so you look back up at her eyes. “What?”

“Nothing,” she says letting out a breathy laugh.

“No, what?” You say, turning red. Was she laughing at the way you looked at her lips?

“Just… you.” She’s still chuckling.

“What about me?” Your eyebrows scrunch up, an almost pouted look on your face. You feel very left out of whatever is making Ellie so entertained.

“I don’t know,” she is still laughing. “You just make me smile.”

“Ha ha. Fuck you too.” You reply out of defense feeling like she’s teasing you.

You’re partly confused because of this sudden mood change from Ellie. She’s cute when she’s giggly, but she usually only gets that way when she has a bit of alcohol in her system or when she’s taken a couple hits too many. You smile, brows still scrunched, but her comment makes you blush. You turn away from her thinking, What the fuck was that?

You turn back to face her, but she’s still smiling at you, still hovering over you. Your hand is gone from her waist and now it’s on the floor, feeling like it’s glued down. Your entire body feels frozen as if gravity has doubled in force, trying to staple you to the ground.

She stopped laughing so there’s a moment of pure silence between the two of you. That’s when it feels too real, the energy around the two of you changes completely. Her smile slowly falls and she’s staring at your lips, then looks into your eyes with permission. You could be imagining it, but that thought depleted from your brain when Ellie finally leans in. She lowers her head, only a centimeter from yours for one second almost second-guessing herself. Butterflies flood your stomach and then your entire body as you take in what is happening. You both end up moving your heads at the same time and it’s the best thing in the world. Her lips touch yours so gently, lingering there for a bit. You try to process the moment, but you can only focus on Ellie.

Ellie. Ellie. Ellie.

You move your lips against hers slowly. It’s a closed-mouth kiss that lasts a few long seconds. She pulls away, eyes closed, still so close, and she sighs shakily. You’re still looking at her in pure shock and admiration because this is it. This is what you were so scared of and it’s all you ever wanted, except you didn’t have to make the first move. She did.

Ellie repositions herself so she’s not relying on only her arms for support. She kneels down, one of your legs between the two of hers and then she lowers herself back on top of you, one hand on your neck and the other beside your head.

This time, you lean in to kiss her first and it’s different. You know what it’s like and you want more. She holds your head closer, pushing you into her as much as she can. One of your hands find the back of her head, fingers brushing through her hair. The other hand is under her shirt on her waist, moving back and forth occasionally to her lower back. She slightly moans into your mouth at the sensation. It’s not freezing outside, but your fingers hold a slight chill against her warm back. You’re thinking you could just live in this moment forever, but then things get better and your mind starts racing.

More.

Ellie’s the one to deepen the kiss, slipping her tongue into your mouth first. Then, to top it all off, she grabs your leg, pulling it down to get you closer to her. She doesn’t move her hand, keeping it on your leg stroking up and down slowly occasionally squeezing your thighs. You use that leg to feel closer to her, wrapping it around her. She pulls away for a second and you think it’s over, but she takes a deep breath and starts leaving feathery kisses down your jaw to your neck. Your eyes fall shut. It’s a struggle to stay calm when you feel her lips on your skin, her hand on your neck, fingers in your hair, and her other hand stroking your thigh.

“Ellie.” You barely croak the word out, not wanting her to stop. “Ellie,” you say a bit louder now, still a whisper “Ellie.” The last time you say her name, it comes out as a giggle. Her lips brushed against a sensitive spot on your neck.

She looks up looking dazed, “Yeah?” she whispers back.

You grab her face to pull her closer and kiss her briefly, her eyes still closed for a few seconds after you pull away and a smile forming on her face. Meanwhile, you’re grinning like a fool. You push her off of you playfully as you laugh, “We have to get back. We need some sleep.”

“Five more minutes.” She sighs staring up at the sky.

“Okay.” You sigh, “Five minutes.”

You both lay in each other’s company for those five minutes, silently processing what just happened.

“Okay five minutes are up, it’s pretty late.” You say, grunting as you push yourself up and begin to gather your things.

Ellie’s still laying down. You both know you should go home and sleep, but you don’t want to leave this moment just yet.

You sigh and kick her leg. “Get up.” You say reaching your hand out.

“Damn, okay.” She takes the invitation pulling herself up.

The two of you begin to walk towards the road where you live not knowing whose house you’re exactly going to. Ellie’s place comes up first and as you slow down to say bye, she doesn’t stop.

“Let me drop you off.” She insists turning to face you.

“Drop me off? Ellie, we’re already at your place, I’ll be fine walking down the street alone.” You say in disbelief.

“Come on,” she says grabbing your hand as she drags you down the street towards your place.

“Uh-” you utter in surprise. What is this girl on?

You walk for a couple minutes looking over at Ellie, she looks lost in thought as she unconsciously swings your hands.

“I’m grabbing breakfast extra early in the morning with Joel, he wants to give me woodworking lessons again.” She looks away, “He’s—he’s trying.”

“That’s good though…I don’t really know exactly what happened between the two of you, but I know he cares about you so much and from how you talked about him Ellie, I know you care about him just as strongly. I want you to be happy, and if this is how, then that’s good.”

She looks at you thoughtfully, then looks down. “Yeah.” A slight pause, “Thanks.”

“You’re going to do that before patrol?”

“Yeah.”

“’Kay. Do you wanna come over later? I was just going to help out in the stables for a bit after then kinda chill for the rest of the day.”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds good.” A smile back on her face. She turns to walk you up to your door, “See you tomorrow—or later I guess.”

“Goodnight, Ellie.” You smile softly at her, releasing your joined hands. You want to tell her just how much you’re going to remember tonight and how much you like her, but not yet. Not yet.

While you’re thinking, she leans in to brush a soft kiss on your forehead, catching you off guard. She doesn’t let it linger too long, but just long enough for you to still feel a tingle in her lips’ absence. “Night.” She whispers against your forehead. She turns and walks back down the road, just like that. Meanwhile, you’re watching her go in disbelief at how much happened in one night. This is going to change a lot.

[elliespassagerprincess]

I’d love if you can do window by spill tab she’s so underrated I just love your style so much

Window - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! I didn't even know who she was until you requested it! And you're right she is so underrated???? I've been obsessed with this song for a while now lmao... I hope you enjoy it <3

This story is based off the song Window by spill tab, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading <3

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open feel free to leave one and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: reader being called annoying and pathetic and Ellie being a bitch

Summary: In which Ellie Williams made a big mistake

Authors note: maybe I should start posting twice a day??? Because I have so many requests lmao. Remember you are loved and to always be kind

I get used to ignoring

Closing the door and

Opening yours since

You've been clueless and honest

I wouldn't know the

First thing to say to you when you're here

"I love you" the text you sent Ellie read.

You loved her. You truly did. She was and will always be your one and only truly love.

The day you met Ellie, both of you felt an instant connection.

It started with a "hey" at a party and hours later the two of you were found stargazing and talking about anything and everything.

Your relationship with Ellie moved very quickly. Soon after meeting, you started dating and you practically lived with her.

Ellie always loved having you around, she always loved the way you ask her random questions. The way she'd find your hair all around her apartment after you'd gone home. The way you'd leave small trinkets as decorations.

Ellie loved everything about you.

But soon changed one night.

Ellie remembered coming home from work one night. She was exhausted. All Ellie wanted was some peace and quite but soon as she opened her front door she was met with your smiling face.

"Hi babe!" You said happily.

Ellie flinched as you brought her down for a hug.

Peace and quite.

That's all she wanted.

The rest of the night went down with you talking and asking her questions, and then begging her to cuddle.

Ellie looked down at your sleeping face and she realized just how fucking annoying you were.

You never gave her space.

Wherever she looked you were there. Wherever she breathed, you appeared.

All Ellie wanted was space and to be alone.

Ellie felt bad. She felt bad for finding you annoying when you have always been sweet and loving to her.

Out of all the relationships Ellie has been in, the one with you was the most special to her.

She couldn't leave you because she knew deep down she'll never find someone better than you.

Ellie tried ignoring you. Distancing herself from you. But it never worked. You'd always show up with a smile on your face asking what's wrong.

There were pieces of you everywhere in Ellie's apartment so you were never technically gone.

Ellie let out a sigh as she stared at the message you sent.

How does she reply to this?

You were always so genuine. So honest. You loved her but she doesn't feel anything for you anymore.

Should she lie and say she loved you back?

All Ellie did was reply with a heart emoji, and she switched off her phone.

You were clueless. Clueless that the love of your life didn't love you anymore. Clueless that Ellie hated you with everything within her and it made her sick being around you.

What Ellie is doing to you was sick. Staying in a relationship with someone you don't love was wrong. But Ellie didn't know how to leave.

How do you easily leave a 3 year relationship?

And Ellie didn't want to hurt your feelings.

How would she even start the conversation?

"Hey! I think you're annoying, let's break up!"

No. That would be a dick move.

At a point she couldn't get enough of you, now she couldn't stand looking at you.

I'll push away like I did like when I had you clear

It's the crux of the nature to crave what is not near

(I think I'm done)

(I think I'm done)

Having to hold your hand and keep you over the water

(I think I'm done)

(I think I'm done)

Having to hold your hand and keep you over

Ellie had a bad day.

She ran out of gas halfway to work, she spilled her coffee onto herself so she had to drive all the way home to change. She ended up being 3 hours late to work and she got into trouble. Ellie got yelled at, the printer didn't work, she missed her deadline, and she spilled coffee on herself again.

So yeah she had a shitty day.

Ellie sat in her car, with her head against the steering wheel. She let out a loud sigh.

She was so exhausted from today, that she wasn't sure that she could even get out the car.

She let out a groan when she heard her phone ring. Without checking she picked up her phone, and answered: "hello?" With an irritated tone.

"Ellie?" she heard you whimper from the other side.

She rolled her eyes.

You were fucking crying? Again?

"What happened?" she asked.

"Well I had a bad day" you started.

And Ellie lost it.

"You had a bad day? I had a worse one. You are so fucking overdramatic and annoying! Oh my God every time I hear your voice, I want to stab myself so bad "Oh Ellie I had a bad day"" she mimicked you after her rant.

"Well all of us have bad days so, shut the fuck up and grow up" she yelled.

Ellie was heavily breathing at this point. She was tired of looking after you. She was done holding your hand and being nice to you when you were a grown ass women.

She heard you sniffle on the other side of the phone.

"You can't even say anything" Ellie chuckled. "You're so fucking pathetic"

"You're being mean Els"

"I'm being honest"

A few seconds of silence filled the air before Ellie spoke again.

"Look I think we should break up, please come get your things, I'm so tired of this- of us"

"ok" was all you said before you hanged up.

Ellie felt relived. She felt free. She felt like she could think clearly again without you.

A few days later when Ellie got back from work she saw you in her apartment.

It looked empty without all your things. Her apartment didn't look like home anymore.

Ellie awkwardly, stood at the counter as she watched you pack the last box into your car.

You walked over to Ellie not saying a word, you didn't even make eye contact, as you lowered your set of keys into her hands.

Ellie watched as you turned around and walked to your car, not looking back at her.

"Hey! I'm sorry about how things ended" Ellie spoke.

She watched as you stopped and turned around to look at her. With teary eyes you gave her a smile and said "it's ok" And with that you got into your car and you drove away.

All Ellie did was hope that breaking up with you was the right thing to do.

Open up the window by my bed

Hoping you'll come crawling in like back then

Open up a window in my head

I'm hoping you'll infect me like you did back then

Did back then

I'll push away like I did when I had you clear

It's the crux of my nature to crave what is not near

Ellie opened the window and she let out a sigh as she gazed towards the stars.

She felt defeated. Tired. Angry. She felt regret. She felt empty.

Her apartment once filled with color, once filled with you, was empty.

It felt as empty as her heart did when you drove away that day.

She realized in that moment, the moment she saw the way your eyes teared, the way you said "it's ok" with smile, she knew she made a mistake.

Why would you smile with the women that broke your heart?

Ellie had hoped you'd crawl back to her. She'd hope you'd call her and tell her how much you missed her.

But you didn't.

It's been 6 months and you still had her blocked on everything.

Ellie hoped she'd see you again in public, so that she could run to you and say sorry.

But it was as if you had vanished.

They say you miss something when you've lost it and Ellie finally understands. Now that she has lost you, she realized what she had lost.

She'd never find someone so loving, so caring, so kind as you.

Ellie never hated you. She found you annoying but she soon realized that she took her stress and own problems out on you.

You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve Ellie. You deserve someone better. Someone who could actually communicate with you.

What the two of you had was gone. And there was no what in hell that you'd be able to rekindle.

All Elle could do was look out her window and pray that maybe just maybe you'll come back.

[eilishxcsz]

im just so fuckin done man....

Why do people on this app are attacking writers and readers just because they didn't stop posting/reading during the strike? just bc i didnt stop what I WANT to do in this app it doesnt mean idc or whatever. there are also other genocides and deep issues happening around the world and yall forget that

in brazil, young women are being abused, enclaves and i see no one talking about that

LGBTQIA+ people are being slaughtered in russia bc of what they are

in Congo is happening a silent genocide

Thousands of people die and suffer EVERY SINGLE DAY EVERYWHERE

Ukraine X Russia is still here and no one cares

not posting will not help, wake up and donate, go to protests, that will really help

[borntoocry]

I know you

summary: Ellie and yn stopped being friends their senior year. they went their separate ways and yn became desperate for her to return. she had already patched herself up and was ready for it. I guess she manifested it, because... 

no warnings. 

this is shit. I cried five times during this. it’s based on something personal (my ex-best friend who I desperately miss. shush. I'm still hurt.) 

word count: 1.2k

The party happening around you is supposed to lift your woeful mood. You are supposed to be drinking, smoking, dancing on tables and what-not. Your ‘friend,’ Sydnee, is supposed to kiss your cheek and whisper sweet nothings into your ear to motivate you to partake in such activities. And she is, but you aren’t motivated.

It has been months since you left New York and you’ve yet to see any sight of Ellie. You know she’s here in Virginia, but she has squirmed her way into a unique hiding spot where it is impossible to find her. You attend colleges nearby one another, and you’re certain she’s heard about this party as nothing happens in your close college towns, but you can’t find her.

This is a sign that you should give up. You can’t find her because she doesn’t want to be found. But you were best friends and you slept with one another more times than you could count. She was there for you when your dad fled the country; she was there when you were severely depressed and couldn’t get out of bed, and she was there when you lashed out on her for ‘not doing enough.’ She had tried to comfort you at first, but when you bashed in her arms, she realized she had enough. And since then–that questionably cold night in May–she left. She served you her reasons, and she told you to let her be.

You’ve tried to reach out to her. You left her millions of messages and she left you on read. You dropped by her house and left notes for her. But nothing.

You thought you would hear from her by the time you moved into college, but she didn’t say a word. She went to her college and you went to yours, and that was it. Albeit missing her, you stopped messaging her. You just held onto the hope that one day she would drop by to see you.

You chug the random drink in your hand, sipping on what tastes like pineapple and too much tequila. Your throat almost rejects the alcohol, so you tip your cup over and pour the mixture onto the grass. No more drinking for you. It stings your chest and brain and the aftermath is a disaster.

You throw the cup into a nearby trash bin and sit on the ledge below you. It overlooks a large field, possibly for soccer games as there’s two goal posts shoved into a bench. You pick out a cigarette shoved into your bra and the neon pink lighter in your pocket.

You flick the lighter on and shove the flame onto the tip of your cigarette. You suck in a deep breath and keep the smoke trapped in your mouth, then throat and chest until it bangs on your front teeth. You exhale and the cloud of smoke drifts into the stuffy air.

You continue smoking your old cigarette and looking out onto the field. Some people lay on the grass, drinking out of red cups and smoking on joints and cigarettes. Some smile, some laugh, others kiss or makeout. You wish you were one of them, because they all seem to be enjoying the night. Whereas you are miserably smoking and people-watching.

You could have been like them if you hadn’t mistreated Ellie. She was trying to be there the way she knew. Ellie hadn’t always been open to emotion. Her mind wasn’t able to process the wide range of emotions you had. You were a passionate person, and you enjoyed feeling every emotion that rushed through you. And Ellie loved that because she wasn’t able to be that way. You had wanted her to be more open; you tried to softly push her into the open world of feeling. But she wasn’ budging.

And the more you tried, the more she grew frustrated. She couldn’t be the person you wanted. She would try to feel what you felt, tend to the bruises dancing on your skin, cure them and kiss them the best she could, but somehow, that wasn’t enough for you.

But it most certainly was once she was gone.

Your cigarette is on its last puff so you snuff it out and throw it over the ledge.

You’re about to reach for another when Sydnee taps your shoulder and kisses your cheek. You know it’s her because her fingers are always ice cold and her kisses are always wet. You no longer fall into her, so you just ask, “Yes? Is there something wrong?”

She shakes her head and whispers, “A friend is here looking for you. Ellie?”

Your posture immediately straightens out and you turn your head to her. “Williams?” you ask, making sure the Ellie she is referring to is your Ellie.

She shrugs. “I dunno. Just said she’s Ellie.”

You nod and stand up, dusting yourself off to appear put together. You know you smell of cigarettes but then again the entire house smells of smoke and liquor.

Sydnee backs away and enters the house. Ellie stands across from you, a flannel hugging her body perfectly. Her hands are stuffed in her pockets and she’s rocking on the balls of her feet, obviously struck with nervousness.

You clear your throat and say, “Hey.”

She nods. “Hey.”

“How are you?” you ask, even though by the looks of it, she’s amazing. She looks like she’s gotten full nights of sleep and has not lost a single tear.

She shrugs and starts walking towards you. You think she might sit down on the ledge, so you sit down ahead of her. You look up as she takes a seat and wait for her to verbally respond.

“I’m doing okay,” she says.

You turn to her and tilt your head to the side, studying her perfect face and freckles you missed more than anything. When you look at her more, you can tell that she’s just covered up her eyebags and small pimples.

“Just okay?” you whisper. The more you look at her, you also realize that there must be a reason she’s wriggled out of her hiding spot. “You’re not okay, are you?” She shakes her head. You lean over and rest your head on her shoulder. You kiss her shoulder softly and shift your fingers over a few centimeters.

“I missed you. I’m sorry I left without giving you a chance to hear you out.”

You shake your head and wrap your fingers around hers. “I understand. No matter how badly I wanted you to speak to me, I understand.”

“I’m coming back,” she whispers.

You nod and kiss her once more.

“Just promise me you’ll give me a second to adjust, okay? Don’t rush me into openly expressing every single emotion. I will work on it as long as you give me the space.”

You violently nod and sit up on your knees. You turn her around and wrap your arms around her neck. You kiss the side of her head and whisper, “I promise,” into her ear. “I am beyond sorry, El. I was a shitty person and you never deserved that. I will be better. For you. For us. Okay?”

She chuckles and whispers back, “I believe you. And a request… if that’s okay.”

You pull away and look down at her. “Yes. What is it?”

“Get rid of Sydnee. She’s not for you.”

You nod. “Yes, okay.”

She chuckles and brings you back into the hug, almost suffocating you.

[rystarkov]

i know that look

ellie williams x reader

i haven’t written fanfic in SO LONG if this sucks i’m forever sorry. Pure angst! Pure slow burn, unrequited love, Joel being the father figure we all deserve, angst!

It was her eyes that you first fell in love with.

They are the most beautiful shade of green, reminding you of all that’s good in the world. You couldn’t pinpoint when exactly you fell in love with the immune girl, but it’s as if your life was dull, purposeless before she showed up like a saint, dragging you out of the darkness and into the light. She may have looked to the Fireflies for hope, to Joel, and hell now even Dina, but she had always been yours. Your life began when the auburn haired girl introduced herself to you at the QZ, defending you against a bunch of bullies who made fun of you for being a terrible shot. Ellie gave the main bully a black eye when she saw you in the corner crying because of their harsh words, vowing to do it again if they ever made fun of you in the future. Ever since that fateful day all of those years ago, Ellie has become the center of your universe. You guys did everything together. From sneaking out to the mall after hours (which stopped after the incident with Riley, where you found Ellie in shambles and somehow not infected) or having secret sleepovers in her room before the guards did their rounds in the morning, you two were inseparable. 

You travelled halfway across the country with Joel and Ellie, and as the journey came to a close, you chose to settle with them in Jackson rather than leave your best friend after everything that happened. When you three first moved into the makeshift town, as normalcy tried to creep up on you all, some members of the group were having more trouble settling in than others. Joel was a natural, more than excited to make new memories with his brother, Tommy, and to continue to be a father to both you and Ellie, in an attempted normal, community setting. 

You, on the other hand, could not. sit. still.

You couldn’t figure out why, this is everything you have ever wanted in life. A home, a family, and most importantly, to have both of these things with the person you valued and cherished the most. You had your own room, choosing to live with Joel in the main house while Ellie eventually moved to stay in the now converted garage of the same property. You were so used to being with Ellie all of the time, you didn’t know how to function properly in a room that was entirely your own. The first night after Ellie moved to the garage, you snuck out and knocked on the door, not even fully realizing what you were doing. Your mind was on autopilot, simply wanting to be as close as possible to the one person who brought you comfort in a world that was designed to kill you, both mentally and physically. Ellie opened the door, giving you the softest and most adorable smile, familiar with your routines that you both have developed over the many, many years you have spent together. She simply opened the door, let you in, and you both fell asleep in the late hours of the morning, too engaged in laughter and comfort to drift off and let the night come to an end. 

That was a few years ago, with a different you and a different Ellie. Now the person that fills that spot is Dina, a spot you used to visit every single night, for who knows how long. 

Ever since that sudden shift, when Dina snuck up on you and Ellie both, you decided to distance yourself. You didn’t even realize you did this, it’s almost as if you were mentally preparing yourself for the divide that still refuses to go away, the divide that refuses to bring her back to you. 

It was the night of the party at the bar, where almost the entire town decided to show up, relax, drink a little or a lot, and experience some sense of normalcy for once. You stood by the edge of the counter in the corner, quietly sipping on some sort of bubbly alcohol you didn’t know the name of, nor did you care to find out. Joel was kind enough to keep you company, the two of you being more alike than you thought, preferring to drink in silence and sit back and observe the party rather than try and join it. 

Joel said something, and to this day you have no idea what he said, voices and sounds muffling as you stare in horror at the picturesque scene unfolding in the center of the dance floor. 

It was Dina and Ellie, in their own little world, with Ellie’s arms wrapped tightly around Dina’s middle, Dina tucking a loose strand of hair behind Ellie’s ear. Even as the music gets louder, as the drunken yells and laughter of town citizens engaging in conversation erupt from around the room, they never break eye contact. Ellie is smiling, a genuine, happy smile, and you feel your cheeks get a bit warm and your eyes get a bit prickly as the realization of you never making her smile like that hits you like a punch to the throat. As much as you want to look away, as much as you need to look away, you simply can’t. The person you have spent a third of your life with, possibly even more, the one person that you thought would be a constant in your life, is falling in love with someone else. Someone else was an idea you never factored in, someone else was never a thought you considered. 

You feel a sudden pressure on your left shoulder and the warmth of a taller figure drawing you in for a side hug. You don’t even have to look up to know it’s Joel, rubbing his hand up and down the side of your arm as you bury your face into his chest. He knows, he’s always known, as no “friend” willingly travels halfway across the country for just anyone, no “friend” almost dies multiple times just trying to get someone to a single destination. He’s been there with Tess, he’s felt that with Tess, and he knows that look better than anyone. 

“I got you, kiddo. I got you.” You silently sob into his chest as he turns you around to face the corner, placing himself in front of you, making you hidden away from the world and any curious looks from the townspeople. 

“How long have you known?” You hear yourself ask, in between all the hiccups and sniffles of your own long tucked away, long concealed feelings for who you thought was just your best friend. 

“Since David. You had always been Ellie’s quiet sidekick, the one who found us supplies and extra ammo when we were running low. When the whole thing with David happened, I had never seen an ounce of anger on your little face before, and then all of a sudden a switch flipped, and you took out his entire squad and refused to stop until Ellie was found. The look on your face when we found her, how you held her and refused to let go, I’ll never forget. Ellie is my daughter, I had my reasons for protecting her and bringing her to safety, but you? You’re in love, kiddo.” 

He wipes the tears still streaming down your face and hands you a napkin, sitting you down on a chair while pulling up another for himself. 

“I know that look because I’ve given that look and gotten that look from Tess, my…”

He stumbles on his words, looking down at his feet, causing you to reach out and grab his hand for comfort.

“I know.”

He looks up at you, a soft smile etching his face, and continues. 

“I know that look because I’ve been given that look.”

You sniffle one more time, looking over Joel’s shoulder and seeing Ellie and Dina in a peaceful, euphoric bliss, completely unaware of the young woman and the destruction of her heart in the corner of that very same room. 

“I didn’t know, Joel. That’s what makes it even more pathetic, I didn’t even fucking know it myself.”

Joel gives you another sad smile, excusing himself to get you some water, while you sit and watch as the love of your life falls in love with theirs.

Part 2 maybe?? Let me know??

[bits-and-babs]

Joel Miller fucking you with his hand over your mouth because Ellie or someone else is in the sleeping bag next to you 🥵

05. voyeurism || joel miller masterlist || main masterlist

Joel slides inside of you so easily that it makes your mind whirl. His promise to fuck you nice and slow when you got to the safe house was being fulfilled, his thick cock stretching you out. He’s rock hard, pulsing and forcing your legs as wide as the sleeping bag will allow but fuck it’s so much!

He hushes you, forcing your mind to suddenly realise you’re whimpering out his name. A chorus of Joel, Joel, Jo-. His palm settles heavily over your mouth, the metallic scent of blood and earthy soil floods your senses, and you feel your pulse around his cock.

Ellie sleeps soundly in her sleeping bag only meters away, and Joel smothers your whines in an attempt to prevent you from waking her. Again.

“Sh-sh-sh,” he shushes, rocking his hips up into you slowly. The fabric of the sleeping bag rustles, and Joel has to be careful not to make too much noise with each rock into you. The print of his index finger, calloused after years of pulling triggers, circles your neglected clit in diligent circles. “Tha’s it, Darlin’. Can feel it comin’ already, can’t you?”

Fuck, you can. You can feel it building inside of you, a slow, teasing crescendo. Wails die on your tongue behind his hand, your lips ao pressed by his palm and its firm hold. Joel twitches inside of you, and you momentarily consider if he likes this- smothering you like one of his torture victims.

The thought causes your cunt to flood and stutter around him, your eyes rolling back into your head as you feel it built and build and build-

“Feels good don’t it, Pumpkin? Give it to me good now, Darlin’.”

Unbearable. It squeezes you around Joel’s cock so tight that even your lungs seize up. Joel’s fingers continue to work you up and up, your orgasm peaking and yet building at the same time when he shifts your hips up and catches something bone shattering inside of you. God, you nearly scream.

The rapture blinds you, white spots peppering your vision as Joel moans through your bliss. A little ‘mhmm’ that is so gravelly you feel it grit against your skin like sand paper. The aftershocks of your orgasm spark through you, making your thighs twitch from their elevated angle over his hips.

“I need another one, baby. You can give me another, can’t you? Give me another. That’s it, oh, that’s it. Yes, yes- good girl.”

[totheblood]

cutty love.

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie becomes your best friend and you stumble upon her journal

warnings: this is purely fluff, cursing, suggestive themes maybe once? idk very soft

a/n: this is because i want bff ellie and also domestic ellie and also wanted to put eleven labs to the test with their new features so please... enjoy! AI AUDIOS SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE FIC also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses

wc: 2.2k

"all my dreams my dear they are of you."

spring came fast to jackson.

dew painted the grass on early mornings and little patches of snow began to melt into the soil. winter was finally over and you were finally back on farming duty. however, you weren’t as excited as you thought you would be.

patrol was something you would have dreaded a year ago, the idea of entering the outside world terrifying you completely. but as winter came around, and farming became obsolete, maria had warned you you needed to sign up for a new task. your dumbass, however, signed up too late and both stable and kitchen work were all filled up. patrol became your only option. 

on your first day of patrol, you were assigned with dina. she basically held your hand through it: walking into buildings first, showing you how to aim and shoot your gun, and teaching you all the best places to hide. it was an easy day with one encounter with an infected (who dina shot on sight).

your second day you were paired with jesse, who was, to your surprise, gentler. he made jokes when he could tell you were getting scared, always walked with his hand outstretched in front of you when walking into new territory, and taught you how to make a molotov cocktail.  you felt safe with them.

on your third day, you were paired with ellie who was less than kind at first. upon seeing you she rolled her eyes and scoffed, mumbling something like, “why do i always have to be paired with the newbies?” 

to avoid confrontation you simply kept your mouth shut. you were supposed to be partners and you were going to do your best to keep yourself alive. like the others, ellie walked into spaces first and after clearing the area for any infected, started a small fire in the lookout to keep the two of you warm.

you stood at a distance from her where she was placing her palms just above the fire and then rubbing them together for warmth. you watched on with a shiver, shaking as you looked out the window.

“you’re not going to get warm from all the way over there,” ellie spoke up, causing you to snap your head in her direction.

“what?”

“the fire is over here. you have to stand close to get at least a little warm,” she commented, beckoning you over with the wave of her hand, “here, come get warm.”

“oh,” you stepped closer to the fire, sitting down across from her, bathing in the warmth the fire offered.

“you’re not really talkative, huh?” ellie chuckled, taking picking at her nails as she spoke.

“uh, no, i usually am,” you laughed nervously, looking to the raised skin around her nailbeds.

“oh, so you just don’t like me?” her tone was joking, but there seemed to be an ounce of vulnerability to it. her eyes looked up to yours, scanning your face for a reaction.

“no, i just,” you took a deep breath and shrugged, “earlier you said you didn’t want to be stuck with the newbie so i didn’t want to be a bother or anything.”

“shit,” she breathed, pinching the bridge of her nose. all of the skin around her nails were raw and red, “i’m such an asshole. i didn’t mean it like that. i’ve just had a shitty week.”

“no, it’s fine,” you forced a smile, “i understand. i’m just nervous and this is all new to me.”

she paused for a moment, looking you over and taking another deep sigh. 

“i’m not usually an asshole.”

“sure.”

“no, seriously, i’m usually nice.”

“i believe you.”

“ok, i’m kind of nice, but i’m doing my best.”

“it’s fine, i’m also an asshole,” you spit out and she laughed. a full chested laugh that went on for what felt like a minute. it was the kind of laugh were all of her teeth showed and wrinkles formed by her eyes. it made your chest feel warm. 

from that moment on you and ellie became close friends. if you knew you were patrolling with her you would bring her a corn muffin wrapped in fabric. she’d say something about how good of a cook you were or mumble a ‘fuck yeah’ before stuffing half the muffin in her mouth. if she killed any infected later she would say something like, “that was only for the muffin. you’re gonna need to bring me another before i do any more of your dirty work.”

occasionally, she would bring her guitar and show you some of the music she was writing in any downtime you had. she was always so excited too, saying something along the lines of: “let’s try to clear this area as fast as we can so i can show you my new stuff.”

when you sat in front of her, legs crossed in front of you, you watched as a bright blush spread across her face before she sang. 

“this is new, so take it easy on me, okay?”

at some point towards the end of december she came to your house with something wrapped in fabric. her whole face was red, but you couldn’t tell if it was from the snow or her nervousness as she shoved the present into your hand.

“what’s this?” you asked, eyes wide ushering her in from the snow and shutting the door behind you.

“it’s a christmas gift,” she smiled, “i don’t know if you know what christmas is but people used to celebrate it back in the old days. joel told me about it and now we celebrate it every year. it’s basically just a holiday where you give your loved ones… or friends a present. they used to pretend this big fat guy with a beard came down people's chimneys and gave presents to kids who were good but i guess they gave up that idea. santa probably got infected or some shit. anyways, this is for you.”

when you peeled back the fabric, a picture of you sketched out on charcoal was on a piece of thick paper. you looked beautiful. it almost looked as if ellie had spent hours looking at your face and studying all the tiny details of it. not to your knowledge, but she had. 

a gasp fell from your lips as tears welled up in your eyes. you didn’t even have time to thank ellie before you were squeezing her tightly in your arms, causing her to cough. you were literally hugging her so tight she couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t mind it. she took a deep breath and hugged you back, smelling the pine on your hair and skin. 

“i love it, ellie,” you whispered, “thank you.”

when january came around, ellie decided you didn’t know how to hold a gun. most of your shots were misses and the drawback made you stumble back. you were becoming a liability, but mostly ellie feared for your safety. all it took was one fall and you would never be the same again.

so here ellie stood giving verbal directions on how to hold a gun. you, however, were a mess who didn’t know your left from your right.

“your left foot! i said your left foot!”

“this is my left foot!”

“babe, that’s your right.”

“oh,” you switched legs but it wasn’t good enough. ellie came up behind you, placing her hands on your shoulder and fixing your posture. the heat from where her hands were on you radatied throughout your body and went straight down your legs. she stepped closer, placing a hand on your stomach and pressing it lightly. your breath hitched. 

“okay, now move your hand like this,” her free hand moved from the base of your arm to your fingertips. she adjusted your stance slowly. slow enough for it to feel like foreplay, “just like that. yeah, good girl.”

you could feel her breath on your neck where your scarf didn’t cover. it was all too sensual and then SNAP. a sound in the distance made her jump back and step in front of you, her own gun drawn in a matter of seconds.

your gun stance was never revisited after that. 

but now it was spring, and you would no longer be on patrol. as much as you liked spending time with ellie, it was still too much of a risk for you to take when you enjoyed farming so much. when you told ellie a big pout broke out on her face as she dramatically reached for you. 

“what am i going to do without you on patrol?” she whined, squeezing you so hard it made you laugh.

“we can still hang out,” you reminded her, pushing her off you, “plus maybe i’ll be back on patrol next winter.”

“yeah, but i liked having 8 hours of us time. now we will get like 4 hours a day max,” ellie leaned her head back on her couch, the dramatic pout still there. 

“how about we meet here every day after our shifts and have dinner together?” you offered, making her face light up, “i can cook and everything.”

“okay, but you have to sleep over at least once a week,” she demanded

“deal,” you smiled, teeth showing.

“if i’m not here though you can just let yourself in,” she casually commented, “i’ll give you a spare key.”

it went on like that for weeks, you coming over after your shift and making dinner and laughing with ellie about something joel or dina said until you eventually fell asleep on her couch. some nights you would watch a movie together, others you would bake something together (even though ellie usually tapped out when it came to cracking an egg). if ellie was running late or something you would make up time by cleaning up your mess from the kitchen or tidying up the living room, but by that time she would be stumbling through the door and apologizing for being late. 

this night, however, ellie was running extremely late. you had already cleaned both the kitchen and living room and there was still no sight of her. to avoid anxiously pacing around the room and waiting for her, you decided to clean her room. you swept the floors, wiped down her bedside table, and began making her bed before you noticed a notebook tucked in between her bed and it’s frame. 

you pulled it out of its place and examined it. it looked like it was frequently used, the edges of it torn and dirty. the yellow pages of the notebook were slightly hanging out and it looked like pages had been ripped out and stuffed back in. you shouldn’t read this, your mind rang clear. you wanted to respect ellie’s privacy, but curiosity got the best of you. 

you flipped to a middle page, skimming over some entry about how much joel was being an asshole before stopping at your name. your name in her notebook with hearts drawn around it. your name written in pink over and over again. below the different variations of your name was a paragraph, presumably about you. you read it in ellie’s voice.

“another successful patrol. and by successful i mean i tricked her into holding my hand. i probably sound like such a creep but all i want is to be close to her. i want to hold her hand as we walk down the streets of jackson and kiss her in a booth at the diner. when she got scared she would squeeze my hand a little. it made me dizzy. this crush feels like it’s going to ruin me. i think she may ruin me but i don’t even care. all i want is her.”

you smiled, flipping a page, heat rushing to your cheeks as you read another passage about you:

“i sang a song for her today that i wrote about her. she told me my voice was beautiful and asked who it was about. i panicked and told her it was about cat. fucking cat!!! i haven’t thought about cat in fucking forever. i just want to tell her already because this is so fucking embarrassing. she probably thinks i don’t like her but i do. what if she never knows? i’ll tell her eventually… i will.”

you sit down on her still unmade bed, reading the next page.

“i wanted to kiss her so bad today. ugh. her lips were all red and pouty from the cranberry juice and when she smiled her teeth were all red. she asked why i was smiling at her and i told her that her teeth were all red. she looked so embarrassed and got up to clean them. i felt like an asshole but that’s better than being rejected by her right?”

another one.

“we watched curtis and viper today after patrol. she cooked us chicken and then cried because it was her favorite chicken. this girl has the biggest heart in the world. when the movie was done we just talked about what life would be like if the apocalypse didn’t happen. she said she would have been a teacher or some kind of helping profession. she’s fucking sweet. i told her i’d probably be a dentist or a lawyer. something fun. i left out the part where i’d want to come home to her every night. i’m such a loser. i think i love her.”

the last part made you gasp, except the gasp wasn’t coming from your mouth, it came from the person standing in front of you. ellie.

“what are you doing with that?”

[sleepyangelkami]

you totally don’t have to take this into consideration at all but what if in the pastors daughter pt3 there’s ANGST. maybe readers parents find out and try to punish/harm her but ellie comes to the rescue 🫡

PASTORS DAUGHTER III e.williams

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 8.6

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - you have a secret, one only few people could know, what would happen if the preacher found out that his daughter was dating such a dilinquent, or more importantly a girl. ellie williams doesn't hesitate to jump in when she finds you and your parents in your bedroom after your sister let your secret out. some smut at the end because you're all waiting for it.

 ☆ WARNINGS - innocent reader, smut, angst, violence, fighting, yelling, unpacking heavy homophobia, use of a slur, mentions of blood, physical violence, making out, innocence kink, corruption kink, kina size kink if you squint, fingering and oral (r. recieving), scissoring, kinda sub!reader and dom!ellie, my shitty writing, my also unawareness of anything in a catholic church (i'm literally catholic), intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread

series masterlist

you never kept secrets. when you were young, you did everything in your will to keep your mouth shut but you were a blabbermouth, you couldn't help the words tumbling out from your lips. if someone were to ask you what your deepest darkest secret was, your lips would screw shut because truly, you never did keep secrets. any secrets kept from your parents, were secrets that not even your mind was fully able to comprehend, something you had not yet accepted about yourself.

but this. this was your favourite secret of all time.

it all happened so fast. how ellie once was your sisters best friend, the one in which would call you pretty names, have you a blushing mess before she even glanced sideways at you. and now, she was the same girl pulling you away from the others at school just to kiss you.

kissing. that had to be your favourite part.

call it what you want. some may say that you were so drunk off her kisses because you had never been kissed before, the feeling so foreign however you knew what the problem was, not that it was a problem at all. ellie knew how to kiss, better than anyone else in the world, you guessed. her tongue didn't bother fight for dominance, it slipped in so easily and you let it, you let her explore your mouth as crude sounds fell from your lips. you were drunk off her lips, the way they could kiss you so roughly, having you sitting with your hands placed on her shoulders to keep you up for you had chose kissing the girl over breathing a long time ago. the way she would kiss you so gently when she wished, whether she was leaving you off to class, pretending to brush something off your shoulders as she dipped her head down, a chaste kiss against your lips. you could drown in them, you were sure. in fact, you could drown in anything related to ellie, you'd die a happy woman. ellie williams had single handedly wrapped you around her finger and all it took was a mere kiss. if she had known this, she would have done it a long time ago.

however, it was still but a secret. you acted as though you were mere acquaintances in public, a small smile and a nod. but when she got you alone, god when she got you alone she couldn't help but ravish you. after all, she had been wanting you all day.

though it was a secret, it wasn't just you and ellie who were aware of the relationship. ashley had been over the moon when you had announced it and ever since then she had been asking both you and ellie about every little detail of the relationship. she was a fangirl, and you were her favourite couple. and, of course, joel miller had been made aware almost instantly.

you giggled, seated on your girlfriends bed, fiddling with the weird ball she had just given you. she made it a habit to hand you strange toys and watch your face try to figure out what it was in the most humorous way known to man. you were still getting used to being in a relationship. having a girlfriend. but with ellie, you didn't feel guilty for it didn't feel as if anything was wrong with what you were doing. ellie was an angel despite the devilish image she had created for herself in her mind. "you girls hungry?" you turned to see joel miller standing at the doorway, hand on the door handle as he bent through the crack.

"no, thank you, joel." grinning up at the man who had been only welcoming towards you since the moment you met him. you had already spent too many dinners at his house, however, your parents were dead certain that your choir practice was going amazing.

ellie gave you an amused glance before turning towards her step father. "suit yourself, i'm fucking starving." and of course she dragged you straight towards the kitchen because ellie was simply like that, she couldn't go anywhere without you, even in her own house. joel would only grin at you both, shaking his head as he looked down at the bread he was buttering. you were good for ellie, he deemed from the very first second he had been introduced to you, of course you and ellie weren't a 'thing' then, however, he could see right through the girl he knew something had to have been going on. he liked how ellie's days seemed brighter, how she seemed to be getting less slips from school, how she seemed to be doing her homework, that was one he was sure he'd never see again. he adored how sweet you were, always offering to clean up after you all, you had even cooked one of the days when joel had challenged your amazing cooking skills, you brought cookies over whenever you made them at home, you did seemingly anything to make his daughter smile, that was enough. and although he adored you, along with your older sister ashley l/n, he couldn't get over his distaste of your parents, one of which he had made quite apparent to you. he, of course, swore to keep your relationship a secret for he knew mr. l/n and he knew that he'd want you nowhere near that household, along with your mother who seemed to become witchier everytime he glanced at her. joel had come to grow quite very fond of you and when he saw how upset you could be with your parents, how you'd plant a smile on your lips and say 'oh it's fine' as ellie explained the situation, however, your eyes glassing over. when he saw how upset you were, his loathing grew for the nasty couple. he'd let you move in with them in a heartbeat, but he had grew to know you, and he knew you wouldn't wish your parents to be upset, so you simply brushed it off and continued with the constant abuse.

joel was always more than happy to let ellie use the truck on date nights too. it was a busted up, rusty red truck, whenever you glanced at it, joel always added "a truck that has been loved, y/n, adored even." insecurely, you might add. but you never cared, in fact, you had grown to love the truck.

of course, ellie always had to park at least a block away from your house, it would look too sketchy to walk in at the same time as you did. you'd enter, smiling and telling your parents that choir practice was, as usual, quiet but extremely interesting. ellie'd wait for at least ten minutes after that, then she'd enter with an eye roll from your parents as she greeted ashley, two screw ups, that was all they saw. and on those nights, you and ellie would try not to look at one another during dinner, to make sure it wasn't too obvious, of course.

ellie williams was a dream, a secret one that you closed off from the world. your teachers didn't know, your friends didn't know and most importantly, your parents didn't know.

princess i think it's very rude that you always come to see ash and not me, actually.

els would you rather me rat you out to joseph and mary?

you rolled your eyes at the message, her referring to your parents as such names.

princess no thanks but you should definitely come into my room with ash and watch a movie :D

els I'll do my best to convince the wicked witch of the west

princess eeeeeek thank youuuu

els you owe me, baby

princess psh watever now stop texting 'n driving

you grinned down at your cellphone before placing it flat down on your drawer, if only you didn't, perhaps you would have been able to see the many notifications that popped up from your sister, frantic. pushing the covers off, you stood from your bed and towards your wardrobe. you wanted to look somewhat presentable for tonight, you wanted to be pretty for ellie, there was simply no other reason to be rooting through your clothes at such an hour.

you pulled out an old, large, t-shirt. to be exact, ellie's t-shirt, the one in which you were gifted the before day that she had kissed you. you and ellie hadn't been together for a very long time, however, you were upmost embarrassed looking back at how much you shoved her away, fear eating away at you. it was shameful, how scared you were to let her in but you thanked every star in the galaxy that you came to your senses before it was too late.

you dressed in a simple baby pink long sleeved top and a grey sweatpants, after all, you didn't want to look like you were trying too hard. you didn't want to think about it too much, after all, you were sure that ellie wouldn't truly care to so much as look at what you were wearing. the thought was stupid, that the shirt you wore, or the way you fixed your hair had anything to do with your relationship, however, that didn't change the fact that you sat in front of your mirror and attempted to matt down the cows lick of the left side of your hair, teeth tugging at your lip in concentration.

you never wore make up, didn't even think about it, but you did when with ellie, you wondered if she truly liked the way you looked or if she just thought better not to mention it. nevertheless, everytime she hummed and called you 'pretty girl' those thoughts seemed to leave your mind in an instant.

your door bursting open caused your eyes to shift from the mirror, hairbrush caught between your teeth and hands on the top of your head. ashley was close to frantic, hands in the air, the look on her face had your own contorting to concern. "ash? what's wrong?" setting the hairbrush down and walking closer, wondering what on earth had been wrong with your sister.

her and your parents were out that evening with some college meeting. the thought of your sister moving had your heart wrenching. "i— i'm sorry, y/n." the closer you got, you could see the way her eyes were glossed over. before you could open your mouth, she was blubbering again. "it was an accident, it just came out and— oh my god." her hands pulling at her hair. "i'm sorry, im so so sorry."

you walked closer to her, confused as to what she was apologising for. by now, you stood directly in front of her. grabbing her hands softly, you pulled them down to view her face properly, it seemed as though her mind had been stuck on this for a while. this certainly wasn't her first set of tears. "hey, i'm not mad." of course you weren't, you didn't know what happened. "tell me what happened, i promise i won't be mad."

but your sister merely choked out half a sob as she heard the front door slam shut. your parents were home. "you're gonna hate me." a mere whisper, as if a warning. before you knew it, your parents were at your bedroom door, up the stairs in mere seconds. your father stood, a menacing look etched to his face. his brows were contorted into a heavy frown and his lips pursed, your mother, in tears, stood by his side with her arms crossed. you, baffled, looked between ashley and your parents, two of which had never looked so... angry. sure, they had looked at ashley like this, at non-blievers like this but never was it directed at you. "y/n/n, they know."

your eyes shifted between your parents and your sister again, heart stuttering. whatever they knew, it wouldn't be too bad, surely it couldn't. they couldn't know about ellie, they couldn't. you did everything in your power to assure that they didn't find out. the only people that knew was you, ellie, joel... ashley. "know what?" it came out feeble, small, as if you were a glass ready to shatter at any given moment.

"we know." your mothers strong voice rang out through the room and the moment it did, you realised. everything was so fucked.

teary eyed, fear stricken, your mouth opened and closed, turning towards your sister who was biting her nail, her own eyes glassy and apologetic. you ripped your eyes away from her instantly, you couldn't look at her. your heart dropped to your stomach, everything inside you twist. that familiar knot came back, the very one that had left the moment your lips fell to ellie williams' the second time, it was back and oh how it had multiplied. this was your secret, your only secret. why couldn't it just stay like that.

"so it is true then?" your father spoke as he abandoned your mothers side, walking right into the room. "you're one of them." he spat the word out like venom. you stayed silent, taken aback as you stared at them in pure horror, the very thing you had never wished to happen, happened. your body stood frozen still, mind frozen in time, too. "no." he spoke, shaking his head at you. and suddenly... he looked at you the very way you did everything in the world to avoid. he looked at you like you were a monster. "no daughter of mine would behave this way." looking you up and down like filth. "you are not my daughter."

you blinked back the first tear. you knew the minute it began... it would never end. "I— i am." you stressed, voice breaking as you looked at the man you loved with the most pleading expression you had ever had. "it's still same me, i'm not any different than i was before, you have to listen to me. i tried to fight it, i did!" and suddenly, you couldn't stop the waterworks. "daddy, plea-"

"it was those friends." your mother interrupted, stepping so much closer than your father willed. "i told you. I told you that you would ruin everything!" your mother had never been the forgiving type. "look where you are now! what you did, what you have destroyed!" and your eyes pleaded with your father who turned his nose down at you, he wouldn't look at you. "do you know what this will do to your father? to you? to us?" and her own voice broke, as if anything was hurting her. they'd never understand how hard you tried. how much you wished to not be this way but it didn't work, it never did. "why are you doing this? is it to make a stand against us? to rebel against your parents because you're fed up of going to choir?!" you mumbled something beneath your breath. "you better speak up before i-"

"you don't get it." frantic hands pushing at your hair. for the first time in your life, you spoke against your parents, not for them. "i tried— i really tried to get rid of everything, the feelings, the thoughts but i just-" you sniffled and wiped your sleeve against your nose. "i finally, for once in my life figured out who i was and i don't know what i was expecting..." turning your head away from them. but you knew better, how every were you supposed to get it out turning away. so you turned back, eyes burning into your mothers. "i suppose i guessed that you and him would finally take a second— just a second to stop being so focused on yourselves and understand where i'm coming from, understand me!"

your mother locked her jaw. "you think we're selfish, is that it?!" your father yelled, turning back to you. "I have done this, all of this for you!" hands flailing in the air causing you to flinch.

"no you didn't!" no one in the room seemed to hear ellie's truck pull up, nor hear the door open. "you did it for you because it's always you, you, you! maybe if you took a day off to look around you might realise that ashley's done a better job at raising me than either of you have!" and as angry as you were at the girl, you couldn't deny that ashley was a true guardian, they were not. "and maybe you'd realise that i'm not going to change." you stood your ground, as much as your voice wavered and your hands shook, you spoke, despite the tears. "okay? I'm gay." that was the first time you had ever spoken the real sentence. "i— i'm gay and i always have been! and maybe if either of you took your nose out of a bible and i don't know- at least tried to understand you'd realise that it's not a choice!"

your mother shook her head at you. "i don't care what the internet says. god doesn't listen to your kind's stupid excuses." your kind. as if you were some kind of an animal.

"uh... what's going on?" oh god no. there stood ellie williams in all her glory, jacket covered in rain and her boots beginning to soak your carpet, you didn't much care because by the sounds of it, you weren't going to be living here by tomorrow.

everyone whipped around to see ellie, an umberella in her hands yet soaking wet, sometimes you wondered if you truly were dating an idiot. "you." your father shot towards her. "you stay the hell away from my daughter!"

she gave him a raised eyebrow, however, she didn't flinch back. "which one? gotta be more specific man-" confused as ever.

"this is it, y/n." your mother turned back to you. "this is who you're turning your back on your life for, who you're turning your back on your family for." ellie's brows furrowed in confusion until finally, they relaxed in shock. oh. "i'm giving you one last chance to make this right."

it seemed as though everyone in the room was watching you. "turn back to the light, y/n." your father spoke as if it were some evil rooted inside of you. "turn to god and he'll wash away all of your sins. we can forget about this."

and you looked between your parents, both their faces as they waited patiently for you to cry out and hug them. you'd state that it was all merely for attention or lack of which you had gotten. you wanted to lash out, rebel against them because that was simply what teenage girls do and you knew the only way to hurt them was this. but it didn't come. your eyes glanced back to ellie williams, standing as dishevelled as ever before and she was staring right at you, pretty emerald eyes boring into your own. she didn't look scared, nor did she appear any bit concerned for your answer because she knew you better than you knew yourself, she knew what your answer would be before it even came out of your mouth. and yet, she knew you would chose her, between every galaxy in the universe, constellations in the sky, and yet, you still managed to shock her.

"i love her."

your mother and father dropped such sympathetic looks and suddenly, you were no longer a l/n, they didn't have that glint in their eyes as they stared back, it turned to pure rage. and yet ashley's eyes had softened on your frame, ellie's eyes could only go wide. you... loved her? you loved her too. she was frozen in time, her hands stuck to her side and her umbrella nearly slipped from her fingers. she stared at you and you stared right back at your parents, eyes nowhere near hers and yet even so she felt as though you were talking to her, communicating to her through your crystal fallen tears.

your mother breathed a sigh of pure fury. "you disgust me." and you knew she meant it, with every single bone in her body. but as much as you knew she meant it, you never would have thought she'd do what she did next. you didn't think it was so much as a possibility for her to bring a hand up like she did. suddenly, you felt a pang, you could feel your nose drip almost the same time that her hand came in contact with your face. you expected silence, one in which you could just stare at her, your mother, your supposed protector in which hit you because of what? she couldn't accept the fact that you were happy. truth be told, you were sure you and ellie would be happier than she and your father ever were.

the silence never came.

commotion enveloped the bedroom. "fucking hit her again!" ellie was in your mothers face before you were out of it. ashley swooped in then, grabbing a hold of you as you cradled the side of your face, blood from your nose dripping down your hand. "no, seriously!" as much as your father attempted to push ellie away, she wasn't scared, she was nearly as tall as him for bloody sake. "fucking try it!"

your mother was just as angry as she. "get out of my way, faggot." despite the tears, your eyes blew wide, where did she even hear such a word?

you didn't get to hear much more of their conversation for before your mother could so much as take a breath, ellie's fist connected with her face. you attempted to push yourself further, ashley could only hold you back as tears stung at the rim of your eyes.

this was all of your fault.

ellie didn't swing once, nor did she swing twice, she punched the woman at least three times before your father interfered. he didn't use violence, why would he? he was a man of god. "fucking pussies." ellie muttered as your mother and father stood off, your mother completely sobbing now, as you were, silently as you could in your sisters arms.

if only you didn't kiss her. if only you didn't allow yourself the satisfaction. if only you listened to that instinct that told you to run away that night. but you didn't want to run from ellie, no, if you could do anything different you would have run further, out of that room, that house, you could be in a different state by they so much as notice you had left.

your father stood off to the side, cradling your mother in his arms. "get out of my house." staring at ellie who merely glared right to him, not a shot of fear in her eyes. "now."

she scoffed, locking her jaw as she turned her head. "c'mon, sweetheart." eyes pointed at you. your lip was tucked beneath your teeth as ashley let her arms fall from around you.

"she won't go with you." your father scoffed back. "she's my daughter." if only he knew how little that meant after that night. ellie williams didn't utter a word, she simply held her hand out from behind her, eyes locked with your fathers. so you did what you had longed to do for so long. hesitantly, you stepped forward and stretched your hand out, it fell into hers. instantly, she locked your fingers together, a proud grin on her lips as she looked right back at your horrified dad. "by the holy bible, you will regret this, y/n."

"no, i don't think she will." ellie tsked and like that, she got you right out of that bedroom.

you didn't remember when you stopped crying that night. what you did know, however, was that it was not down the stairs or when you got in the truck or when ellie had sat you on the bed after assuring you that joel had a night shift. "ellie th-they hate me." you blubbered as the girl attempted to wipe your nose with a damp cloth, it was proving difficult with the tears mixing with the blood and the dried blood that had stuck to your pretty skin. you hated crying, you hated being vulnerable and you did not have any intentions of doing so in front of the girl you adored so dearly and yet here you were, unable to stop the tears from flowing.

"they don't hate you, sweet girl." doing her best to keep your face still as the damp cloth wove it's way around your skin. "they're just.. shocked is all." funny, she didn't think she'd hit a grown woman three times for merely being shocked. she was almost done with your face, still trying to get the bits of dried blood around your left cheek off.

you shook your head, still crying. "they hate me, they hate you. els 'm so sorry." ellie dropped the cloth onto the floor beneath her.

"hey, hey, look at me." she grabbed your face between her hands. "none of this is your fault." you tried to look away, she wasn't letting that happen any time soon. "it's not your fault they're close minded cunts. they can go— i don't know fuck the three wise men or something." this sprouted the quietest, lovelies of giggles from you, small, quiet but enough. ellie grinned, her eyes tracing every perfect imperfection of your skin. "there she is." a dazing smile on her lips as her eyes raked your face.

you sniffed, realising her hands had clapsed around your own. "you're not mad at me?" you questioned oh so quietly.

"mad at you?" she laughed under her breath. "baby, i'd never." she disconnected one hand, you ignored the way only one of hers was enough to cover both of yours. the free hand came to your face, you didn't flinch like before, you relished in it. the way the pads of her fingers traced around your skin, slowly pushing your hair behind your ear. a whisper left her lips. "you're too pretty to be mad at, anyway."

something in the air had shifted.

"els..." as her finger pads danced against your pretty skin. she hummed quietly, entranced by your pretty face. "can you kiss me."

"don't need to tell me twice."

her lips were ecstatic, rough against your soft ones. she captured you in a kiss so blissfully that it sent your face backwards slightly. her hands fell to your thighs as your hands sat on her shoulders. she was on her knees before you, kissing you so roughly as you ignored how hot you suddenly felt. you never kissed someone before ellie but for an inexperienced person or an experienced person, ellie had to be the best kisser in the world. it seemed as though everytime you forgot what to do, she was doing something to make up for it. she kissed you roughly, you sloppily chased her speed. her right hand travelled further up your thigh and softly squeezed. your lips parted and a noise left your lips, ellie took the perfect moment to slip her tongue inside your mouth, allowing it to explore easily as it pushed your own down, not bothering to fight for dominance, she would win anyway.

she picked your hips up slightly, detaching your lips so she could push you further up the bed, she stood before you, you looked up at her with pretty doe eyes. "fuck me." she mumbled beneath her breath before attaching your lips once more. she slowly guided your back to hit the sheets beneath you and continued to kiss roughly at your hips. your hands came up, gathering around her neck while her own fell down to your hips, groping the plush skin of your waist while her teeth came down to softly nip at your bottom lip, tongue soothing down the skin soon after before she returned kissing you. the feeling was so euphoric, so many things happening at once, you didn't have a chance to acknowledge them all at once, too busy focusing on the sudden ache between your legs.

oh no. it was happening again, that funny feeling that always settled in when ellie kissed you too long, when her hands found home on your skin in a somewhat different way than the others. "els..." you breathed out, detaching yourself from the kiss, you looked right up at her with desperate eyes, she knew then and there.

"what's wrong, baby?" as her lips came down to trace across your leg, littering small kisses against the sensitive skin that had your back arching against her and off the mattress.

you breathed out in frustration. "ellie... need you." pulling at her sleeve, she knew exactly what you needed, she could practically see the wet pool already despite the fact she wasn't even looking. "please..."

"please what, angel?" kissing against your neck once more, just beneath your jaw. you made a noise, one of more frustration. one that told her you needed her more than any other gesture or words would have. but she wasn't having it. she wanted to embarrass you, make your cheeks go pink and your eyes flutter the way they did. "be good and use your words and i might..." hands tracing against the bottom of your stomach, so close to where you needed her. "give you a reward, hm?"

you had never had sex before. in fact, you hadn't even thought of how it would happen let alone did you ever think it would be with your sisters best friend. a girl, you may have guessed but ellie williams, never. sure, you could wish but a girl can dream, never did you think it would be reality. there was one thing and one thing alone that you were sure about, however.... "please, ellie, t-touch me."

she moved away from your neck, looking down at you as she positioned herself above you. "you sure this is what you want?" clarifying before you began. "if you're still upset we can just relax, we don't need to do anything you don't want to." and your heart swelled, ellie williams cared about you more than she cared about anyone else in the whole world.

a small smile brushed across your lips. "i want to, ellie." you spoke, in a mere whisper. "I really want to." because it was her and ellie could make you comfortable enough to jump off the earth if she wanted to. she made you feel so warm... so loved, however, she also had this special trick where she made your panties wetter than anyone before.

"in that case." chuckling as she bent down to place another kiss against your lip, this one so much more passionate, not as rough. she kissed you again and again while her hands managed to ease around your skin once more, suddenly her fingers and large hands were tracing every inch of you, you almost held your breath. she soothed your shirt up a little, hands falling onto your stomach as she pushed her hands around, rubbing your sides up and down as you shivered into her touch. "you ever touched yourself, angel?" angel, a quite contrasting name to such an event. your face grew hot at the question, lips parting and closing once more with a small huff, the situation much too shameful. "don't go shy on me now, sweetheart." she pushed your chin forward, eyes locking into your own with lips brushing against one anothers. you breathed heavily, eyes boring into her pretty green irises and tracing her freckles that littered across her smooth skin. you made a certain hum with a nod, a desperate one as your back arched off the mattress. "yeah?" you whimpered as her lips came down to soothe your neck, pressing sloppy kisses across the delicate skin. "you ever came, baby?" a fragile whisper as the image of you in your bedroom, pretty legs parted with your hand between them as you desperately tried to get off. of course, how would you even know how to. her long fingers traced your skin, she had pushed your sweatpants down ever so slightly so that she was just above where you needed her. you whined into her touch, pushing yourself down the bed further with a small shake of your head, admittedly embarrassed. "no?" an almost teasing smirk in her face. of course you didn't know how to tease yourself, not properly at least. you were so fucking innocent and oh how ellie couldn't wait to taint you.

"ellie." it was a whisper, almost a warning so she would stop teasing you. endless nights, you had your hand down between your legs, hoping to any saint above that no one would walk in. you never quite reached that euphoric feeling the books explained.

"i know, angel, i know." you were far from an angel, you deemed. "let's get this off, hmm?" fingers slowly trailing up and down your pant leg. you nodded, breathlessly and panting as the girl gripped the waistband between her fingers. she waited a moment, watching your desperate face whither once more before slowly, dragging it down your legs with ease.

her eyes never left your body as the material grouped up in her hands, she tossed it somewhere then, she wasn't really looking but the silence that followed without a clatter seemed to be good news. her eyes fell, sitting on your pretty white cotton panties. a smirk fell across her face, of course they were. your breath caught in your throat, feeling the cold air nipping at your bare yet soft legs. ellie took the chance to place sloppy kisses against your stomach, her hands toying with the silky flesh of your legs. your back arched.

but before the girl could get to the place you needed her the most, you whined out, grabbing her shoulders. she stopped in an instant, coming back up to your face. " 's wrong, baby?" and you almost whimpered at the name, but you controlled yourself... for now.

your grasped at her sleeves, pushing yourself closer to her. "your turn." you mumbled, looking up at her with those hazy doe eyes, she smirked right at you. bending down, she placed three kisses against your lips before sitting herself up slightly, pushing her arms through the holes of her t shirt, you watched in awe as she tossed it somewhere in the room. your eyes immediately fell to her chest, ignoring the growing pit in your stomach. while in awe, she reached down and kissed your dazy state away. tugging at your own long sleeved top, she tossed it somewhere with the pile of clothes too, all sitting together rather neatly, considering she threw them when she wasn't looking. white bra, how cute.

"better?" she mumbled seductively against your lips, hands moving up to cup your covered breasts, palming her hands over them.

"better." you whispered, trying to keep every sound you possibly could contained and yet it proved to work to no avail as a small whimper fell from your lips.

she kissed down your stomach once more, slowly, excruciatingly so. hot, sloppy, open mouth kisses against every fraction of your skin. your back arched off the mattress, hands steady on the girls shoulder. no bra. of course she was wearing no bra. her lips trailed further down your stomach, past your belly button and only did they stop right above your pretty panties. " 'm gonna take 'em off." you didn't respond with yes but a mere whimper and you did what you simply couldn't control. bucking your hips up, almost hitting your core off the girls face. she grinned at what she had created, a rather damp spot soaking through your panties. "so fuckin' eager." you assumed she would grab your panties, toss them somewhere foreign like she did so many times before. you assumed wrong.

her teeth slightly scratched against your hip bone as they hooked around the side of your panties. slowly, she dragged the panties down with her mouth with little to no effort, sliding them smoothly along your legs. you glanced down, out of breath already. she had her eyes closed and it looked as though she were trying not to get too caught up in the situation, as if she were holding herself back. she pooled them at your feet then grabbed them with her slim fingers. you watched as she pocketed them in the back of her jeans and yet you said nothing, just watched as she grinned down at you, menacing face contorted into an almost evil grin.

but she couldn't look at you, not yet, before she let what she didn't want... unfinished. "before i do anything..." she mumbled, hand coming towards your chest. you gasped as you felt her pull your pretty silver cross from your neck, she didn't pocket that, nor did she toss it away, she simply placed it delicately on the desk beside her. who did she care, the clasp was surely broken anyway. maybe it was just a silly souvenir. you looked up at her, eyes barely blown wide. "what? y'don't need it no more, pretty girl." because the cross was a symbol of purity and you were anything but pure now. and the way your puffy lips stretched out, the way your eyes dazily glanced up at her as if she were made of diamonds. she knew it was official. she had corrupted you, molded you to her own liking.

you gasped at the sudden sensation of her hand cupping your dripping cunt. she almost laughed at you. "haven't even touched you yet, baby." you bucked your hips into her hand, oh how you wanted her to touch you. "all f'me?"

you nodded, panting like a lap dog. "please, els." whimpering once more. and who was ellie to deny such a request? you gasped out, breath stuttering as her hands parted your legs and one fell on your cunt. she rubbed two fingers against your pretty pink nub, watching as you reacted so... verbally. the way you moaned at the way she simply drew circles on your clit had herself almost grinding in her jeans. while she controlled herself, she simply couldn't stop by how reactive you were, you were in much too deep now.

fingers fell down to your hole, collecting your juices on her fingers. she groaned as she pressed her lips to your neck, anything to distract herself from practically fucking you then and there. she shoved one finger in, watching as you jumped at the foreign feeling. you had rubbed your clit before, of course, but never had you inserted a finger into yourself. and even if you did, nothing could have compared yourself for her slim, long fingers.

you moaned out. "oh... ellie." eyes squeezing shut as she began to move. she pumped her finger in and out, watching as you moved your body with it, practically fucking yourself with her finger. a knot made it's way to your tightening stomach. for good measure, she didn't add another finger.

she added two.

the feeling of her stretching you out had your back arching and mewls falling from your pretty lips while ellie attacked your neck with kisses. she pumped her fingers in and out of you, watching as you wriggled in her grasp, grinding yourself off her fingers. she didn't say anything, simply kissing your neck and allowing you to get off on her fingers. there would be more time to tease you in the future. besides, she'd be lying if she said she didn't adore the sounds leaving your lips and the way the bed creaked with the movements of ellie shoving her fingers in and out of you.

"feeling desperate, hm?" as she kissed up your jawline. you were sure, this was the euphoric feeling they explained. "want me to make you cum, sweetheart?" and what were you to say? deny yourself of the pleasure? certainly not. relish in it? absolutely.

"mmph." whining into her mouth as she captured your lips, tongue slipping into your mouth. "please ellie." you could have screamed for her then and there. "please ellie, make me cum!" her big body against your tiny one, she couldn't help but fawn.

"your wish is my command, princess." something you never would have guessed could be so hot. she moved her lips from your face and down your body. you moaned out at the feeling of her fingers, still fucking you senseless as your hands moved from her shoulder to her head. she positioned her face right in line with your core. you suddenly felt nervous but that feeling of her against your cunt was just so much more overpowering.

she didn't give you so much as a warning as her tongue flattened out against your clit, her fingers never stopping their fast pace. "oh!" your legs had spread with ease, sitting up bent at the knees with your socks sitting at either side of ellie's head, your back arched, hands on the back of her head while your own fell into the cushions behind you. eyes screwing shut, her pretty mouth working so perfectly on you.

mewls. whimpers. ellie could have come from the sound alone. they were nothing short of pornographic. how could she not smirk against your core as she lapped you up, holding you still with her free hand. she was making you make these sounds. she was making you squirm as you did. she made that knot in your stomach tighten.

your chest quickened its fast paces. "ellie— ellie, i'm gonna-" you were going to come. you had never reached anywhere close to that and here ellie was, effortlessly making you reach a hundred.

she parted her mouth from your clit. " 's okay, baby, let it out." and you assumed she'd slow down. once again, you assumed wrong. pouncing forward, she began licking and lapping your tongue against your clit once more, watching as you squirmed against here, almost screaming. it was when her name ripped from your throat that she knew you were so close. so close that she could feel your walls clenching around her fingers. she didn't stop, nor did she slow down as she awaited the arrival in which she had dreamt of the day she met you.

"oh god, oh god!" you hoped god was nowhere near that bedroom. "ellie!" and that was the last thing ellie heard before she felt you completely collapse around her. she felt white, hot liquid gush out from your pussy all over her fingers. she could taste you. your body jerked, the most pornographic mewls falling from your lips as you bucked your hips over and over again. she continued to fuck you through your high, tongue doing anything it could to pick up all your juices. the salty taste had her wanting more.

she didn't stop until your body was practically vibrating.

ellie came back up to meet your face which was embarrassed and flushed. sweat caused your hair to stick to your forehead and your chest moved up and down rapidly due to your irregular breathing pattern. pretty plush lips parted as you panted heavily. her breathing had picked up too, eyes grazing over your pretty skin as she lifted her fingers to her mouth, sucking off your juices. you watched entranced, innocent eyes blown wide. you wanted to shy away, suddenly beyond embarrassed as the euphoric feeling began to fade away. but you didn't, your eyes were too focused on the pretty girl in front of you. "you okay to keep going?" she breathed heavily as your head fell deeper into the pillows beneath you. there was more? you nodded your head rapidly, head moving up in an instant to lock your lips to ellie's, she got the hint almost instantly. you were ready, you were beyond ready.

the adrenaline sat in your chest, burrowing there as your lips moved at seemingly the same pace as ellie's, though you wouldn't deny the fact that she was leading the pathway, you could only sloppily follow. your eyes a little heavier, you assumed it was that euphoric feeling taking a toll on you however by the way ellie was beginning to unbotton her jeans, you could only assume that whatever was to happen next was going to please her just as much as it did you the first time and boy did you want that, desperately.

she was above you, kissing your lips roughly as her hands fiddled with the buttons and zipper of her jeans, rough material sliding down her legs with a little less ease than your own. however, she didn't waste a second to toss them into the pile of your discarded clothes from before. dressed in black boxers, you couldn't help but gawk at her but she didn't allow it too long for in seconds she was desperately raking them off her body, eagerly pushing the material off her body so she could feel you again.

you made a noise into her mouth, her kisses making your face hot, cheeks pink and mind beyond ditsy. as soon as she was bare, all fabrics discarded, she had pushed at your knees, sending them up so you were practically making a bridge with them. "fucking hell." a whisper beneath her breath as she looked at your already soaked pussy in your own juices from before. she did that. she couldn't help but grin in pride at your abused cunt. her hands fell to yours, pushing them down against the mattress as her larger ones cupped your smaller ones, holding you in place so easily. you were like her very own doll and oh how she loved playing with you. you watched as she hooked a leg past your waist, knee planting itself on the other side of the bed from you. you swallowed thickly and watched her in anticipation. you had never done something like this before. it was safe to say that you're stomach was doing flips, that your heart rate sped as fast as it ever had before but you couldn't deny the sole comfort her big hands brought, almost grounding you.

she didn't take another breath, state another word, before planting herself right on top of you.

her pussy fell on yours, she let out a groan at the feeling, sudden relief washing over her. you whined at the contact, holding her hands tighter if even possible. she bent her body towards you, hands still clasped together as she slowly rolled her hips against your own. you whimpered at the feeling of her clit bumping off your own. "ellie." you all but mewled. "f-feels so good." as she continued to slowly roll her hips, grinding down onto your pretty cunt.

ellie was in no mind to stop, eyes closed and her throat held many sounds of her own. "fuck." trying to do everything in her will to not take it to the extreme, it was your first time, she wanted to be gentle. "tryin' not to push it, sweetheart." alerting you of how badly she wanted to fuck you senseless.

you breathed heavily, the feeling of her pussy on your abused one so stimulating. "i can— i can take it." pretty doe eyes looking up at her as if you wanted nothing more than for her to feel good. and you did, you'd do anything to make sure she felt as good as you, it would be almost monsterous to deprive anyone of this euphoric feeling, the one in which had your legs trembling and lip wobbling as you tried to contain your sounds, ignoring the lump in your throat. "please, els." you whimpered, grinding your own hips against her, she let out a grunt, holding your hands tighter. "want you to."

she didn't need to be told twice.

she pushed her hips up and down, heavily and swiftly as she felt your pretty cunt against your own.

she practically got drunk off of your noises. holding you close, she never stopped her agonising pace as she even began pushing her hips to the side, rarely yet every time it had a new sound coming from your lips. she wondered just how many sounds she could make you make.

rutting her pussy roughly against yours, she listened to the crude squelching sounds from your wetness mixing with her own. "yeah." she breathed, lips close to your own as she held your hands so hard you couldn't feel them anymore. the feeling was too elating to move your mind from. your eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of your stomach tightening again. "takin' me so well, sweetheart." and she meant it so much. she allowed her own eyes to close as she never stopped her pace. rubbing herself against you so carelessly and sloppy, she could feel her high coming on just as it had the many nights ellie imagined this very moment. hips roughly shoving your own down, you couldn't help but move with her as she fucked you senseless.

"ellie!" you whined, back arching off the bed. her sweaty forehead was pressed against your own. she knew that tone, the very one you had used before, the very one she imagined so many times.

she breathed out a huff, eyes still closed. "me too." and the knot was so close to untangling, she all but swallowed back her noises. opening her eyes she roughly shot her face forward, lips latching to yours. you desperately kissed her back as she began to rut her hips so eagerly.

you would have screamed if it weren't for her lips on your own, maybe that was why she had done it, to silence you or maybe to silence herself. whatever the case, you were much too wrapped up in your own world to so much as consider it. you felt your stomach finally give out as ellie's did almost simultaneously. her juices mixed with your own, like to complimented chemicals in a science fair. with her lips on yours, she groaned deeply while you whimpered, your hips slowly stopped grinding to her own and she too slowed her rutting. noises falling between one another, you could barely breathe. her lips were suffocating you and you would have died happily there and then if you could have.

two damp cloths and a toilet use later, you sat drowsy in ellie williams bed. your head was limp against the crook of her neck as she laid with you in her arms. after you had cleaned up, she offered you some of her clothes, stating she'd tell joel everything in the morning, claiming he'd be more than happy to let you crash because apparently 'he'd rather you as a daughter anyway'. you brushed her off but thanked her heavily, kisses falling around her freckles as she laughed at your giggly yet drowsy state. it was only seconds later that you ended in the predicament that you did, arms wrapped around her loosely while her own squeezed you close.

thoughts of that night swam through ellie's head. she wondered how fast that mood had changed, from crying with a damp cloth on your face to almost brought to tears by ellie williams' pussy. she smirked to herself before glancing over at the broken silver chain that sat on her desk, you hadn't even mentioned it.

the girl turned back to you, your eyes were closed and your breathing was slow, cheeks pink and lips plush. if she didn't know any better, she'd think you were asleep. "baby?" you hummed, quietly yet barely heard, you were too far deep in sleep, ellie wasn't even sure if you'd register her words, she didn't care, she needed them out. "i love you too."

crazy to think a little lust for the pastors daughter led her well... here.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[heartpascal]

hoping there’s somewhere to go

▹— joel miller x platonic!reader + tommy miller x platonic!reader

▹— summary: you try to navigate life after the rejection of the only family you’d ever had (part two of weight too heavy to hold alone)

▹— a/n: the song too much time in my house alone by leith ross inspired this <3 longer A/N at the end!

▹— warnings: angst (as always), isolation, and then self isolation, mention of christmas time but it’s not christmas, a winter’s dinner that isn’t christmas dinner, fears being proven correct, very little self worth, it has been a long while since i have written/posted/needed to put warnings so let me know if something is missing!!!

▹— taglist: @rhymingtree @sleepygraves @wnstice (everything) @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915  @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @rvjaa  @sunflowersdrop @definitely-not-a-seagull-i-swear @miss-celestial-being (pedro) — please let me know if you want to be added/removed

MASTERLIST

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Jackson is cold in winter.

And it’s not just because of the weather.

There’s winter festivities, holidays that you had never really had any experience with. And because of the weather, patrols were undertaken by smaller groups, leaving crowds of people wandering the streets, or trying to find work within the small community. So, not only was it cold and miserable, but it was about ten times as crowded in the communal spaces, with everybody packing into every space possible in order to preserve their warmth.

That’s not even the worst part — there’s the whole focus on family, or whatever a person in the apocalypse might have that’s close enough to it.

Holidays bring people together, Tommy had told you once, about a year ago. It wasn’t long after you had first arrived in Jackson, traipsing through the gate alone, aside from the patrollers who escorted you there.

The thing was, though, that you didn’t have people.

And it wasn’t as if you were wanting them! That definitely wasn’t the case — you couldn’t bear getting close to anybody, after what had happened last time — but you couldn’t help the more prominent feeling of isolation. You knew you weren’t alone in your feelings, after all, there were plenty of Jackson residents who had nobody, or resented the holiday season for one reason or another, but you felt alone.

You’re allowed to feel bitter about it, even if you do want to stay that way. It’s not like you had always felt this way, there was a time when you had thought yourself close to having a family — whatever the hell that was. In spring, if somebody had told you that you might feel this way, you might have disbelieved them, might have had faith in Joel and Ellie, despite your reservations. But then everything there had fallen apart, and you were left like this.

Living on your own, halfway across town, closer to Tommy, but further away than ever.

It was like that gaping hole in your chest had reopened with a vengeance, sucking any amount of trust or affection you had for the man into a void where it couldn’t be found. If Tommy hadn’t stuck you with Joel and Ellie, you might not be feeling like this — feeling so cold, and alone, and frozen despite the world moving around you. If he had just minded his business, or even, maybe, if he had just looked after you himself, rather than passing you off as nothing more than a chore, you could’ve been something at least close to happy.

Instead, you’re here. Making the short trip back from the school he had forced you to start going to, heading back to the little space you were supposed to call home. It wasn’t home, though. You had never occupied a space that had felt anything even close to that before, other than Joel’s. You’re pretty sure you’ll never live anywhere like that again.

You’ll probably live here, in the shitty garage that Tommy had someone convert for you, for the rest of your life. Either that, or until they finally have enough of you, and kick you out. Whichever came first.

Really, you should be used to being on your own. To having to do everything yourself, be responsible for every aspect of your own life, but strangely, after Joel’s, you find it hard to go back to that. Balancing things has never been your strong suit, and this only goes to prove that. And it’s aggravating, feeling as though something within you had changed, feeling as though you’re no longer capable, when you had spent your whole life looking after yourself.

Feeling like this has had you thinking some incredibly stupid things, your mind at one point trying to convince you that the only way to prove that you were capable, was to go back out into the big open world. Luckily for you, your survival instincts are stronger than that, and you’re able to remind yourself that Jackson is the best possible place for you, regardless of whatever thoughts and feelings you were having.

Besides, you wouldn’t want to give any of them — them being Joel, Tommy and Ellie — the satisfaction of your leaving. If they wanted you gone, they’d have to tell you as much, this time.

It was clear to you now, that they hadn’t wanted you there in the first place. And given the distance between you and Ellie since Joel had gotten rid of you, you gathered that, despite what you believed to be a close bond, she had never wanted you around either. She seemed happy enough, gallivanting around the town with her few friends, friends she had never even bothered to introduce you to. At least that meant you weren’t missing anything. Maybe she had actually done you a favour. Although given the way she avoided your gaze like her life depended on it, every time you happened across her, you somehow doubted that.

You’re not sure which loss was worse. Despite how close you had grown to Joel, how attached you had become, Ellie was the first person your age who you had ever trusted. You had told her things that you had never spoken aloud to anyone before. And now, you were left with a constant weight of regret, of dread, in the pit of your stomach.

Selfishly, you wanted Ellie to be angry at Joel for getting rid of you. You wanted her to fight for you, wanted her to remain in your corner when everybody else opposed you. What you really wanted, though, was for somebody to choose you. You wanted to feel important to somebody.

Though, now, you think you’ve outgrown that childish desire. You don’t want anyone around you, anymore.

Not even Tommy.

“Kid, would you just open the damn door?” Tommy asked, speaking to the plain face of your front door. He had knocked three times before opening his mouth, growing exasperated by your cold shoulder. He knew you were in there — had seen you walk home after school, when he was finishing a job just around the corner. Besides, where else would you be?

You stayed silent, sitting on the unmade sheets of your bed, staring at the door as Tommy knocked once again.

“C’mon, open the door. Please?” He repeated, and you could practically picture his stance outside, one arm resting against the doorframe and one hand resting against his hip. “Just wanna talk, alright? Then I’ll be on my way.”

You heard the heaviness of his sigh from your space across the room. But it didn’t change anything for you. How could it? Tommy had sent you to his brother, he had known what his brother was like, and he had sat idly by while you were uprooted and sent across town like you didn’t matter. Just another inconvenience. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he was also forcing you to go to Jackson’s community school, run primarily by an almost 70 year old woman, who was meant to retire a year after the outbreak.

It was ridiculous and unfair.

Ellie didn’t have to go to school.

It just felt like another method of getting you out of the way. After all, what did you need with writing and reading? Mathematics and history? The world had ended before you were even born.

Besides, you knew for a fact that Tommy had volunteered to take Ellie out shooting soon. Despite her avoiding you, you could still hear her boasting about it in the canteen to her friends.

You couldn’t help but feel like it should’ve been you. After all, weren’t you the one without anybody? Weren’t you the one who would be alone, should Jackson fall apart? Ellie would have Tommy and Maria. She would have Joel. Who would you have? Nobody.

If Tommy Miller had ever actually cared about you, perhaps he would’ve helped you work on the issues you’d been facing when you went to him for help, rather than passing you off to his older brother. You had spent your entire life depending on only yourself. Tommy had no idea what it had taken for you to approach him, for you to want help. To have that thrown back in your face, you knew, had done damage. As if you weren’t already damaged enough.

It was something you had been aware of for a long time — that there was something wrong about you. Something rotten. Like something had crawled into your chest, into the gaping cavity between your ribs, and died in there. It had been decaying over the years, leaving an air about you that told everybody exactly what you had always known: you are unsalvageable. Nothing in this world could reverse the decomposition that had occurred inside of you, just like nothing could reverse the infection that had taken the family you had never known.

The whole thing made you feel foolish, really. Your whole life, a voice inside of your head had been telling you that nobody could help you. Nobody would help you. And when you had finally gathered the courage to prove that voice wrong? It was proven right instead. It was a kick in the teeth. A thorn underneath your fingernail. Something bothersome, painful.

Tommy Miller had proven that you were just as alone as you had always felt.

He knocked against your door again, apparently content to wait you out. You had nowhere to go, but the knocking was irritating, the knowledge of his presence outside of that door was grating.

Before you could think better of it, you made your way over, and opened the door.

He looked the same as he always had done. Dressed for the weather, his favourite pair of boots on, and hair pushed away from his face, which held a surprised expression.

“Hey, kid.” He said, finally, after a moment of just staring at you in shock. It had been a while since Tommy had seen you up close. You looked more tired than he remembered.

“What do you want?” You asked, forgoing any sort of greeting towards the man. Opening the door was about as generous as you were prepared to be towards him.

His face morphed slightly, shock ebbing away, regret flowing in at the creases by his eyes, the grimace of his mouth. “Right, uh,” He paused, looking into your converted garage through the gap between you and the door. You pulled the door closer, so only you fit into the gap. “Alright, so, I know things have been… tense, between everybody, but I was hopin’ that you might join us. Me ‘n Maria are doin’ a winter’s dinner, not exactly Christmas, but it’s a day to be with family, y’know?” Tommy rambled on a bit, trying to spit all of his words out before you could decline, or shut the door in his face.

“We’re not family, Tommy.”

You watched his expression fall, which provided you with a sting that you hadn’t expected. But the sentiment remained the same — you weren’t family. Your surname wasn’t Miller. And even if it were, with the state of things between you, Tommy and Joel? It definitely wasn’t something you’d call family.

Honestly, you weren’t sure why he was coming to you with this now. Maybe before Joel had rejected you, before Tommy had watched on as any trust you had was shattered, but now? Now, he was lucky you even opened the door. You didn’t have a family, and it wasn’t a big loss to you. You’d gone this long without one, so what did it matter?

Tommy’s mouth opened and closed a few times, and he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He was at a loss for words.

“Go home, okay?” You said, when his words continued to fail him. He swallowed, jaw clenched as his teeth gritted together. He was frustrated, though you doubted that was directed at you. More likely, was that it was directed at Joel. You knew things had been tense between the two of them recently, too.

He paused just as he was about to turn away. “Will you think about it, at least?” Tommy asked, though he didn’t look like he wanted to hear your answer. It wasn’t much of a question anyway.

You nodded, with no real intention of thinking about it. Well — no intention of thinking about attending. Thinking about the offer was a different story.

His shoulders deflated as he turned away, hearing you shut the door as he followed the path away from your place.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Even a full twenty four hours after Tommy had approached you with his invitation, you couldn’t let it go.

It felt as though something within you had snapped, falling from a great height and landing in the pit of your stomach. For whatever reason, one that you couldn’t get into now, maybe ever, you were filled to the brim with dread. It bubbled over, pooling in your limbs and making everything feel far too heavy.

You couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just let you be? Couldn’t he see that he had done more than enough, when it came to you?

Logically, you know it isn’t fair to blame him. Tommy wasn’t in control of anything his brother or pseudo-niece did. He had always tried to look out for you, and deep down, you know that he had truly believed that his brother would be good for you. He must have thought that, given Joel’s pre-outbreak experience, and now post-outbreak too, of being a father, he could’ve been that for you. Tommy couldn’t have known that Joel didn’t want another kid.

But that illogical part of you, the part that cowers away from everybody you meet, the part that was hurt, reminds you that it was his job to know. It was his responsibility to know what he was dumping you into. And more than that, Joel was his brother. How could he not have known?

You were the one who had ended up well and truly hurt from the encounter, not the other way around. So why did you feel guilty, every time Tommy’s expression at your scathing words popped into your mind? You hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true, and you hadn’t said anything that he didn’t deserve to hear. So why? Why did you feel this unending twist of dread and guilt, eating away at your bones, your tissues, your organs?

Even now, as you worked a late night shift at the canteen, washing dishes, every time the water rippled, you could see his face. Distantly, you hoped Joel had felt like this, after what he had done to you. You hoped he remembered what he said, remembered your expression when you relayed his own message to him.

If you were honest with yourself, you think that if it had been Joel, you would’ve revelled in that expression. There’s a part of you, a part that is mean and bitter and full of resentment, that wants to hurt Joel, just like he had hurt you. You settle for staying as far away from him as you possibly can.

Joel had tried to see you a few times, back when it was fresh, with no luck from you. There was nobody in this world that you wanted to see less than him. At the very least, he got the message. Sometimes, you wonder if he had only shown up those few instances just for appearances. To make himself look better. It was no secret to the people of Jackson that Joel Miller was a questionable man, with an even more questionable past. But he did more for the town than most, so it wasn’t spoken about. Nothing more than whispers, anyway.

There had been a few whispers after your outburst at the Tipsy Bison, especially when somebody shared the news of your move across town. But it was chalked up to teenage dramatics, the youth, as if there really was such a thing.

Regardless, Tommy’s invitation to dinner was coming up in a mere two days. The knowledge of where and when it was happening made you uncomfortable, like an itch underneath your collar, it was stifling. Because that part of you, the one that wants to hurt Joel, also wants company. It craves a family, and that was a craving that had only ever come close to being fulfilled once. Still, it was a natural instinct within humans. Safety came in numbers, and there was comfort in having people you could trust. You wish that part of you could just be satisfied being solitary, because you’ll never go to that dinner. Not if you have anything to say about it.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Two hours until dinner, and the sun was beginning to set.

And here you were, axe in hand, staring down at the dwindling pile of wood that you needed to cleave into pieces. It wouldn’t last two hours. In reality, it wouldn’t even last one. Still, you stare as though the logs might multiply, hoping for the excuse out of a dinner you didn’t want to go to. And you know that you have no obligation to any of those people, you do know that, but it’s hard to believe it. Partly because you don’t want to. Because you’re torn between the satisfaction of succeeding on your own, and the fear of cutting off all ties to the only people you think you’ve truly cared about.

Being alone is a lot easier in theory.

In practice, it’s harder than you had thought. You were doing okay when they all left you to it, left you to live your own life. But an invitation means something, and that’s hard to ignore.

You bring the axe down, letting the severing of wood distract you from all thoughts of invitations and dinners and meanings.

It’s about the most physical task they’ll let you do — courtesy of Tommy, you’re sure — but you relish in it. Something about it is rewarding. Reminds you of your capabilities, your survival. The cold air burns your lungs, and each swing of the axe makes your muscles ache, but in a satisfying way. And doing it like this, alone, makes you feel unmistakably powerful.

You hear the crunch of footsteps behind you, not heavy enough to be Tommy’s or—God forbid—Joel’s. You paid them no mind, leaning down to move the chopped wood into the pile you had already assembled. You grabbed another log and placed it down, and just as you were preparing to swing the axe back up, you heard somebody clear their throat.

“Hey,” Ellie said, when you turned around. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet as you failed to reply, fiddling with the gloves on her hands. “So, uh, you having fun chopping wood?” She asked, apparently trying to clear some of the tension that surrounded the two of you, that clung. You leant the top of the axe blade on the ground, and sighed. Your breath clouded in front of your face.

“What do you want?” You asked, repeating the very same question you had asked Tommy, feeling all the more certain about your adamancy about not going to that dinner. Ellie’s brows furrowed slightly, but she quickly deflated as soon as you could see the defensive air starting to rise within her.

She shifted again, before speaking. “Just wondering if you’re coming to dinner? Tommy said he wasn’t sure.”

You did your best not to scoff, mostly succeeding, as you turned back to the wood awaiting your axe. With practiced ease, your axe rose, and swung down at the wood, separating it with a satisfying crack. “Wouldn’t count on it.” You said, as polite as you could say: no, no, I’m not fucking coming to dinner. You’re not my family. You don’t care about me. I don’t care about you. There’s nothing left here.

It was ridiculous for them to send Ellie to come and convince you to attend, of all people. Their best bet would have been Maria, who had never technically done anything that had hurt you. No, all of the fault laid with the Millers, and with Ellie.

The two of you could’ve remained friends, could’ve been something close to a family, but she didn’t want that. She chose to cut you out, to isolate you even further, to disappear from your life completely, despite being the only reason you had ever opened up to Joel. It was like she had taken a knife, and cut you open, let you warm, simmer, before leaving you out on the counter to cool. To rot.

“What happened to you?” Ellie asked, as if she didn’t know, as if she hadn’t been a part of it. Like there was no reason for your shift from being warm around her, to being ice cold. She had done this to you. At least, in part.

You didn’t say anything at first, choosing to finish chopping the wood in front of you, and piling it off to the side. Finally, you turned to her as she watched you, brows furrowed, lip curled defensively. “You people happened. You all fucking happened. Is that enough for you? Is that enough for why I don’t want to go to some stupid winter dinner?” You said, not raising your voice, but hearing more anger and irritation seep into your tone as you spoke.

She looked like she wanted to take a step back, but she stayed firm. “We all have our own problems,” Ellie told you, voice harsh and unrelenting as she spoke, and her expression hardened. “Everybody does! It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, okay?”

It would have been so easy to continue arguing with her, to descend into childish taunts and quips, to disguise genuine hurt with ridiculous arguments, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You said nothing, turning back to the depleting supply of unchopped wood.

Ellie seemed ready to burst. “Me and Joel have our own fucking problems! It’s not always good. But you can’t just give up on someone!” She said loudly, stepping towards you, ignoring the snow crunching underneath her shoes. It seemed to you that she was trying to convince herself, more than anything. Whatever she came to you with, now, wasn’t really about you. It was about her.

“I’m not the one who gave up, Ellie. You and Joel are more alike than you know. But at least he had the decency to tell me why he was giving up on me.” You told her, staying calm, despite the way your blood was rushing through your body, carrying so much adrenaline you felt like your heart may just burst.

She gaped at you, seeming more stuck on the concept of her and Joel being alike than on how she had hurt you. You figured it would go like this, though, if the two of you ever spoke again. It wasn’t a surprise to you. Everything in your life always turned out the way you expected it to. Even Joel and Ellie, in the end, had done as much, despite surprising you at first. It was inevitable. Your every worry, every fear, even the ones that Tommy had once labelled as irrational, had turned out to be true.

You wouldn’t go to the dinner.

Everything between you and the extended Miller family was in ruins, and like you, it couldn’t be salvaged. It was over with. Done.

Now, all that was left to do was wipe your hands clean of them.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

A/N: hello if you made it this far! it has been a WHILE. but in honour of ITDWS being posted a year ago today (!!!!!!!!!) i thought i’d give y’all SOMETHING!!! it’s not amazing but i hope you enjoy!!! life has been crazy + i haven’t been writing much but i still love and appreciate every single one of you <3 i think of you often.

[insanermin]

Hey i just read your fanfic "and still i answer your call when she doesn't answer at all". and i loved it, i wonder if you could maybe make a part 2 if you have time, And if you want too. And ofcourse, you dont have to do it or rush it

hi! thank you sm <3 yes ofc i can, haven't written in a hot minute so;

and still i answer your call when she doesn't answer at all, part 2

pairing: ellie x fem!reader

warnings: toxic relationship, cheating, nsfw, curse words, soft?? ellie but highkey salty, not proofread yet again, lesbian sex <3, and also first time writing smut plsplspls have mercy on me, xoxo

word count: 3,9k

summary: you visit ellie again to thank her for comforting and taking care of you, but things take a different course when your 'girlfriend' texts you. or; ellie eats you out.

as warm tones start to set into the blue sky, february doesn't seem so cold anymore.

all your worries were washed away, all thanks to ellie. after you stormed to her place at the most vile hour, ellie took good care of you, the two of you watched your favourite movies until you fell asleep and she prepared you some breakfast before you had to leave for work. guilt resides in the pits of your gut, your gratefulness has never left the four walls of your mind, it is time you finally thank ellie for everything she has done for you these past few days.

you spent the whole day in bed, sulking away while thoughts of your girlfriend cross your mind. you reach for your phone, no message from her.

as you take steady steps to your closet you realise that there's no turning back now. you've made up your mind, it is over. but you needed good advice from a very good friend, surely ellie would have all the answers to your questions. flicking through all the clothes in your closet, memories of your girlfriend start to occupy your mind. the dress you wore on your first date, the hoodie she bought you on a rainy november day, the graphic tee you wore the first time she made you cry, and all the other clothes that witnessed you being miserable because of her. it had to end, now.

all dressed up now, you wash your face, washing the smudged mascara from yesterday's crying away. lately your emotions have been all over the place but you told yourself it is better to feel them rather than bottling everything up.

ready to leave, you text ellie a simple 'i'm gonna stop by your place' shortly regretting that you didn't text her earlier. but to your luck she replies almost immediately.

'sure, have you eaten?' the words circle your mind. you don't know whether you're impressed by the fact that she answered so quickly or that she potentially knew you haven't eaten a single thing yet.

'no' you reply, slipping your phone into your pocket while fishing out your keys that you mindlessly put in your pockets before locking the door.

you step outside and cold wind is blowing your way. the sky has already lost itself in complete darkness, but the clouds haven't shied away, surrounding the moons light.

ellie is just as nervous as the last time you were here, although now she had something to keep herself busy with: cooking.

keeping it simple, because she's too scared to mess up, but not too boring, ellie doesn't want you to think that she can't cook.

a dilemma she might never escape, because she knows you don't overthink any of your actions towards her. but should she really be thinking about this right now? ellie tries her best to feel somewhat content that you're coming over. however, knowing that she is one-sidedly overthinking her actions, caring for your needs and, well, liking you, she can't help but feel like burning this entire kitchen down instead of cooking a nice meal for the two of you.

"shit," ellie groans as she feels the blade digging into her fingertip. this for sure wasn't part of the cute scenarios she just made up nor was it part of her plan to burn this kitchen down. ellie rushes to find a plaster, a bandage, anything to put on her finger.

the door rings, ellie rushes to the door, heavy footsteps echo and bounce off the stairwell walls. the sound of you felt like a mixture of butterflies and sour lemons in her guts.

and there you stand, right in front of her. something in the fresh evening air must've altered your brain chemistry, because why do you feel her eyes linger? and why do you want them to? your emotional imbalance is surely to blame, you most definitely lack attentiveness and consideration. ellie lightly clearing her throat interrupts your almost driving you to insanity monologue, your eyes now drawn to her body.

has your friend's arms always looked this big? she's just wearing a plain white t-shirt, but you can't seem to stop yourself from tracing the strokes of her tattoo with your eyes. soft hello's were exchanged before ellie offered to take off your jacket. the outfit you picked out today and deemed too light for your own comfort suddenly became ridiculously warm.

"how have you been?" ellie asks, making her way to the kitchen as you awkwardly stand in the hallway trying to cool down.

"better? uh, do you mind if i change?" your voice breaks a little, you lightly chuckle to cover your discomfort.

ellie shakes her head, her whole attention directed towards the plates she's trying to decorate nicely with the food she has just made. truth is, she's trying her hardest not to think about you changing, about your bare, soft skin, about—

"oh my god," it emerges from ellie's bedroom, ripping ellie out of her mildly inappropriate thoughts. she was so sure that she cleaned her room well, even checked multiple times and every corner, what on earth did you find? she fiddles with her hands as she walks towards her bedroom, door slightly open. the auburn haired woman doesn't believe in god, but on this very day, she is making all kinds of prayers, hoping for the best. ellie opens the door and seeing you sit on her bed with your phone in your hand is surprisingly disappointing.

you watch her stand at the doorframe, her arms crossed, flexing her buff arms. you can't ignore her furrowed eyebrows, but when ellie notices the concern written all over your face she mouths a low 'what happened?'

you turn around your phone for ellie to read the text message your girlfriend just sent you.

'hey baby, can we talk? i'm really sorry' ellie reads in her head. she definitely prayed for all the wrong reasons, because this is exponentially worse than anything she feared just a minute ago.

"why are you showing me this?" she asks, her voice low. she's still standing in front of you, looking down on you. her gaze on you makes you feel things you haven't felt in a long time. but your girlfriend just texted you and is apologising for her actions, you need to focus. but something about the way her eyes are locking you in is making it a little harder to breathe.

you take a deep breath, you need oxygen to clear your head.

"well, i came here because i needed advice—" you carefully watch ellie approaching you slowly.

"—i wanted to end things with her but—" you thought you were attentive enough but you're taken aback by ellie's big hands resting on your thighs, her face dangerously close to yours. you steal a small glimpse at her tired eyes piercing you through before continuing. her being so close causes your breath to shorten, you're hoping your all that she can't see your chest lifting.

"—she apologised now, so we're good," you say. ellie's eyes widen in disbelief, slightly tilting her head.

"are you serious?" she scoffs, her eyes shut close before searching for answers in yours. you nod and watch ellie drop her head in disappointment, followed by several scoffs and sighs.

"no you're not," she says under her breath, disappointment slowly spiralling into exasperation. ellie can't tolerate this any longer. whether it is your dumb decisions or your inability to see your worth, she won't take this anymore. and it might be selfish to get angry at you for not seeing her more than just a friend, but she did decide on a whim while cooking that this is the day where she finally tells you. however the manner things are progressing for now seem to be reaching a dead end.

"i have to reply though," you mumble, but ellie's furrowed eyebrows insinuate you to feel insecure about your decision.

"you don't," ellie says, as an auburn hair strand looses itself from her split ponytail. her arm reaches for your phone, but you hold it up by reflex, you didn't expect her to grab for your phone. however, you forget that you're the one sitting and she'd just have to stand up straight to get your phone, so you rapidly throw your back onto the mattress, arms far away, she surely won't be able to get your phone now.

"fuck, you can't be—" ellie hesitates, and you smile triumphantly, until you feel something weighting you down. your eyes widen in realisation, did ellie just climb on top of you? your body's brush now and then against each other while she's trying to reach for your phone. you're about to turn to the side when you feel ellie's strong hands hold your wrist down, making it impossible for you to move. for a minute, you forget why you wanted to turn away as you loose yourself in her sage green eyes. and that's when realisation hits you, you're under her, at the mercy of her big, strong arms. ellie doesn't keep eye contact for long, her eyes are fixated on stealing your phone, your eyes are focused on her jaw line. you're being held down, her knees restricting your upper body from the sides, her chest alarmingly close to your face. your grip around your phone softens, your too distracted by her presence pressing and holding you down.

you hear ellie whisper a 'finally' before you're eye to eye again. ellie was too busy taking your phone away and only notices now how close the two of you are. your chests lightly brush against each other, ellie still pinning you down to the bed. her grip tightens around your wrist as she thinks about the way you're still so caught up with your girlfriend, but the fact that she has your full attention for once overrides all the anger she bottled up. you gulp down and break away from her gaze, looking to the side, where she's holding you down.

"what happened to your finger?" you finally break the silence, earning a low chuckle from ellie. she's breathing right onto your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

you watch ellie's lip move, form words, pressing against each other softly.

"you sure you wanna text your girlfriend?" the last words pull you out of the daze her lips put you in, she surely must've said something important. you need to focus. you have to ignore that your body is screaming to be held, to be touched.

the thought of ellie touching you has never crossed your mind until... now. this very thought makes you want to adjust your lower body, arching your back slightly.

ellie can't help but notice all the movement happening below her. she's never been this close to you. and knowing she has your undivided attention all to herself, she can't hold back any longer.

her chest bumps against yours as she slightly moves up, her hand reaching for your chin, holding it in between her thumb and bandaged index finger. you're forced to hold eye contact with her, her breath tickling your face. your chest doesn't even rise anymore, only falling lower and lower until the movement travels to your lower back.

it's hard to breathe and it's hard to think, you feel your eyes wander from her green eyes to her lips.

"do i have something on my lips?" ellie asks, while looking down on you.

"no?" you're confused, finally pulled out of trance. she tilts your head to the side, at which you sharply inhale.

"you're staring," ellie whispers into your neck, the sensation insinuates you to hold your breath. you see a smile creep up her face from the corner of your eye, your heartbeat must've dropped to your abdomen at this very sight. all your morals and values must have left you on this night, because you want nothing more than ellie. she always directs you to make the right decision, so you want to believe that she will stop you from pursuing your inappropriate thoughts. with your free hand you reach for the hem of ellie's t-shirt, holding onto it desperately.

"ellie," you say out of breath. something about the way you called for her name made her lose it all, the breathlessness, your voice, the feeling of your body under hers.

her narrowed eyes fill with desperation, hunger, and lust. the sight of you underneath her tingles on her fingertips, ready to roam your body.

ellie takes a deep breath, lifting your face by your chin. she observe your lips carefully as she traces the outlines with her thumb.

"can i?" ellie finally asks, her eyes nervously looking for a place to rest on. you look up to her through your lashes, your grip tightening on her t-shirt. she makes you feel so needed, so incredibly wanted. your mind tells you to put an end to this but the feeling growing in between your thighs can't be ignored any longer. you shut your eyes close, then take one more look at ellie.

her arms could hold you up without struggling, her hands look so sturdy, she could touch you just the way you need her to.

sharply inhaling, you nod, and a smile creeps up her face. and you still feel said smile as she presses her lips against yours.

you didn't know that such a gentle kiss left you eager for more, and you find your hands entangled in her hair, frantically holding onto ellie.

the way your hands speak for what's going on on your mind makes ellie's blood rush through her veins, the soft fabric of your top rubbing up against her arm drives her insane as your skin is exposed every now and then.

ellie's hands glide over your body as her lips devour you impatiently. the sensation of her fingertips linger and you can't keep up any longer. she wants more of you, sloppy kisses emphasise that her attention has shifted from your lips to your body.

you can't help but notice her t-shirt riding up every so often, abdomen exposed.

"fuck," ellie groans, your bottom lip tugged in between her teeth. her hands finally have found a place to rest, a little under your chest, cupping your breasts. her gentle eyes meet yours, pressing her lips to a thin line before speaking.

"can i take your shirt off?" ellie's voice is slightly raspy and it's just enough to worsen the pressure in between your thighs. you squeeze them tightly, earning raised eyebrows from ellie.

"only if you take yours off too," you shoot back, because you can't be doing the wrong thing one-sidedly. however, didn't you want to end things with your girlfriend? she was practically an ex by now, you would've told her soon enough.

ellie sits up, her inner thighs pressing against your waist.

"oh? then, take your bra off too," ellie says, as she trails kisses on your neck, hot, slow and wet. you slightly arch your neck while biting down a moan. this is getting too heated for your own comfort and you can see yourself making noises only a few instances away, this needs to stop.

but ellie keeps on sucking, biting and licking your neck, making it impossible to keep quiet. and to make matters worse, she pushes her thigh all the way up against your aching spot, resulting you to softly moan.

"shit, didn't know texting your girlfriend back included moaning for me," ellie spits, the bitter taste of her fury still hasn't left her tongue. you're taken aback by her words but the sensation on your neck is keeping you in a trance you can't break away from. ellie's had enough of waiting, so she switches position with you, making you sit on top of her lap. she lifts your t-shirt, every inch of exposed skin is followed by hungry kisses until the shirt is off of you. you don't necessarily like sitting on top, too many vulnerable spots to be explored. ellie's rough hands glide down the sides of your upper body until they comfortably rest above your hips. her fingers graze over your body making breathing impossible, you feel it all the way down your lower abdomen.

and as if her big sturdy hands roaming over your body wasn't enough, she reaches for your back, undoing your bra with one hand.

you watch her smirk cockily as the straps of your bra fall to the sides, exposing your shoulders, and more importantly your chest. ellie bites down her lip as she cups your breasts, giving them a good, firm squeeze before locking eyes with you.

"you're tits look so fucking perfect," she groans, letting the palm of her hand brush against your hard nipples while ellie feels your hips tilt to the back at the touch of your skin, back arched for a moment only. she then pinches them and teases you even more, so you try to stop her and you reach out for her hand. however, you mistakenly grab her tattooed forearm, grasping it firmly to push her away from you. ellie chuckles at your unfortunate attempt to break away from her.

"you want them inside of you?" she teases, while breathing hot air onto your nipples. your eyes widen in surprise, when have you implied that? you suddenly feel heat creep up your neck, panic written all over your face. in response, ellie points to the forearm you've been digging your nails into.

"oh," you say, rapidly drawing your hands in.

"no, it's fine," she says while putting your arms around her, lifting you slightly up to lay you on her bed. her fingers are hooked on your waistband while taking your pants off. you've never seen anyone look this hot taking pants off, loose hair strands covering her face, you can't tell her facial expression.

all you see is her muscular shoulders and arms flexing while she undresses you.

you realise that wearing grey underwear will be the death of you as you hear ellie laugh lowly. you sense her blowing hot air against your clit, oh god is she a tease, you think to yourself.

"so fucking wet and i haven't even touched you? would love to hear your girlfriend's opinion on this," ellie scoffs, while observing the hot mess you are.

"ellie, for fucks sake i'm—"

"you're what?" eyebrows raised, hands resting on your thighs. you take a deep breath. talking about this while you're about to do it is not just incredibly anticlimactic but also immensely nerve wrecking. her eyes are like a ticking bomb, the longer you keep her waiting the more the disappointment grows, her gentle eyes turning tired.

"i'm ending things with her," you finally say.

"you surely will after today," ellie responds, her fingertip firmly pressing on your clit, only fabric separating her from your skin.

you gasp and your stomach rises almost immediately at the pressure you feel, causing you to squeeze your thighs tightly together. however, ellie slips her rough hand in between them, mouthing an 'open' towards your direction which you deemed useless since ellie opened your legs forcibly on her own. she holds one of your thighs down while pulling your underwear to the side, exposing your throbbing, wet clit. she holds two fingers out, gliding them over you to moisturise them before sliding them inside of you. the sensation of her fingers inside of you causes you to arch your back, throw back your head and dig your nails into her scalp.

"easy, love," she whispers, her fingers curved inside of you. ellie starts off slow, with every thrust you exhale shortly, until they turn into soft moans. her unexpectedly breathing against your clit makes you go insane, you feel the sensation give you goosebumps all over you body.

your body leaves ellie mesmerised, the way you move at her touch worsens her need to keep you all to herself, to devour you. she never imagined you to be this gorgeous, this attractive. she wants more of you and desperately wants the taste of you on her tongue. and not a second later, ellie made up her mind, she adjusts herself and pulls your panties further to the side, having full view of you.

"gorgeous," she mutters before crashing onto your clit, letting her tongue slowly slide to the top before making her way back down again. you pull at her hair in reaction, your other hand gripping her bed sheets. ellie moves the tip of her tongue up and down before tugging your clit in between her lips softly, sucking it in.

your moans become shaky and her sucking becomes more intense. you feel your whole body tense up as she presses her parted lips lightly around you, her tongue slowly flicking your clit inside of her mouth. she then lets go of you, you hold your breath.

you're numbed by the sensation and can't tell what's going on, you either feel her fingers pump inside of you or her tongue absolutely devouring you. you can't keep up any longer and ellie doesn't even leave space for a moment to breathe or think, you only feel, and that deeply.

all you hear are the wet noises you make against ellie's tongue and her grunts that unexpectedly turn you on. nails digging into her hair, back arched to the ceiling and your mind so far gone that all your responses to ellie's teasing questions are mindless moans, you feel her push even harder inside of you, causing you to jolt. ellie grins onto your clit as she notices your throbbing take on a slow, rhythmic pace, your insides clasping around her fingers in said rhythm. your hips move in circles, you desperately want to come, you've never felt this good.

and ellie keeps her thrusts consistent, just as the movement of her tongue, only increasing the speed of it. the taste of you sends her to another dimension, she already knows that this will leave her hungry for more. and so your back shoots up, forcing your hip all the way down and clutching around ellie's fingers, a sharp, but loud moan escaping your mouth. content with her work, ellie plants a kiss on your clit, your body shuddering in response. she slowly removes her fingers, your body shivers once more.

you're still in a haze, but ellie hovering over you pulls you out of it, her glistening lips are mesmerising. you see her lose strands sticking to her forehead, a few pearls of sweat on her well built arms. ellie observes your eyes, the way you look so gorgeous in the dimmed light worries her that she might do more.

"good job," she whispers into your neck, goosebumps spreading across your skin. you mutter a 'thank you' which makes you realise you're thanking her for all the wrong reasons. she lays down beside you and holds her right arm out, suggesting you to rest your head on it. you scoot closer, watching her chest rise and fall as she breathes.

"thank you for... the past few days," you say quietly into her chest. ellie scoffs shortly, raises her right arm to the back of your head and pats you. only now you notice that she has taken her shirt off, you don't recall that happening but you surely don't mind the view. you then feel ellie reach out for something, your phone in her hand.

"now text your girlfriend back and make sure to let her know that i'm here."

a/n: hello sorry for taking so long to update, was busy with exams, i was on renee rapp's concert as well (she's so attractive oh god) and yes. enjoy my first attempt at smut :)

[elliespassagerprincess]

Douchebag Ellie supremacy!

Headcannons: douchebag!ellie x reader

☆ Douchebag Ellie who was the most hated girl on campus because she was literally a bitch.

☆ Douchebag Ellie was in the same class as you and who treated you like shit.

“I thought you were smart dude, I got higher than you”

☆ Douchebag Ellie who would yawn loudly as you try and present. Or she would literally just make random noises. She was trying to get under your skin.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who would boo every time your lecturer asked you to answer a question.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who bumps into you on purpose, making you drop your books and then she walks away laughing.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who would insult you on a daily basis, when in reality she was looking for ways to talk to you.

“You look fucking disgusting”

“you’re seriously going to wear that?”

“No wonder your ex cheated on you”

☆ Douchebag Ellie who thrives off the attention you give her when you yell at her. Or when you tell her to fuck off.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who sits directly behind you and throws notes at you and who thinks it’s funny when you flip her off.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who gets defensive when her friends say she has a crush on you.

“Dude you’re literally fucking in love with her! You already act like a dick in general but you act like a bigger one around her”

“Shut the fuck up Jesse, this is why Dina left you”

☆ Douchebag Ellie who watches you smile with other people but when it comes to her you walk past her. And as much as she likes to pretend it didn’t make her feeling anything, she felting something. It hurt.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who feels a pit grow in her stomach when she saw you walking hand in hand with another girl.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who knows it’s not normal to get jealous when you see someone you know walking with someone else.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who realizes she’s in love with you and that she’s fucked.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who becomes worse after that. Harsher insults and snarkier comments.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who’s mad at herself for not talking to you sooner.

“Dude it’s my fault” Ellie sighed one afternoon.

“if you weren’t such a pussy maybe you could talk to her and ask her out” Jesse spoke as he tried comforting his friend.

“she was so rude to that poor girl; I don’t even think she stood a chance” Dina added

☆ Douchebag Ellie who grew quiet and less bitchy.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who stopped making fun of you and completely distanced herself.

“Ellie are you ok?” her eyes snapped open she was met with the girl she was so deeply in love with.

“why do you fucking care?” Ellie snapped.

“I don’t” you answered. “it’s just you didn’t call me stupid of failing my test”

“well you aren’t stupid” Ellie muttered

“what?” You asked “I didn’t hear you”

“Nothing” Ellie muttered.

Ellie brought her hand up to her face as she rubbed her eyes and she let out a sigh. “Look- can I ask you something?” Ellie hesitantly asked.

“sure”

if I- if I wasn’t such a bitch would you like me? Like- you know.. like like me?” Ellie looked at you sheepishly.

“who says I don’t already?” Ellie started at you with wide eyes as you just winked at her,

“see in class Williams!” you said as you walked away

☆ Douchebag Ellie who got hope that she did actually have a change with you.

☆ Douchebag Ellie who made it her mission to make you hers from that day on.

[ang3lfacexo]

so much

pairings: ellie williams x (f)reader

warnings: smut!, desperate!dom!ellie, sub!reader, handcuffs (gifted by jesse) , reader crying cuz she feels good, petnames (baby, bunny), body smooches ;) , i think that's all tbh lmk abt any mistakes n stuff like that <3

w/c: 515

a/n: hii babezz, this sucks so bad but i felt like writing so :(, also my inbox is open for any requests <3

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!

creds: @dongmim

her hands wrap tight around both of yours, your wrists raw as the metal digs deeper and deeper into your sore skin. she breathes out heavily against the shell of your ear, the heat of it prickling your skin in goosebumps.

"ahh- take it, mhm, fuckin' take it, baby," ellie moans against your shoulder as she makes out with it messily. her sweltering hot tongue against your skin makes you careen off the bed back into her crying out, her strap so so deep.

ellie's nails dig into your palms, hands hugging tight at yours that are bound tight to the headboard with her handcuffs that jesse so happened to offer her.

her hips press both of you utterly flat to the bed, the pressure on her clit from the angle addicting. "h-holy fuck-" she gasps, head rolling against yours as her sweet breath fans across the expanse of your cheek. "makin' me feel so good, baby. so fuckin' good," she huffs under her breath; always quick when praising (n degrading) you.

you whine, arching your ass up higher against her hips to feel her deeper. her hands fly to your hips as she chokes out a moan, hips rutting against yours messily as she nears her orgasm.

"els- no, please don't slow down," you whine. tears bubbling on your waterline at your now delaying orgasm. "ellie- dear god, will you -"

your sentence is cut short as her hand presses your face deep into your feathery pillows, hips fucking into you at a nearly inhuman pace, she's chasing her own release at this point, her nose scrunching slightly as she shudders and tenses.

"baby- oh my god-" she shakes, eyes fluttering as she presses your face down into the mattress by your shoulders, hips meeting yours so hard that the headboard begins to slam against your wall (neither of you care).

"cum, ellie," you babble, moaning and crying out on her. she gasps as she looks down at the white ring of your own slick forming around the base of her pretty strap. "cum with me, please."

and she's babbling who knows what just making sure she agrees with you as well <3

and you both finish with her last hard thrust, hips digging deep against yours. she moans low and heavy, eyes rolling back as she snuggles her face into your neck slightly suffocating herself as she pants out moan after moan.

and you're just the same, hands flying back to grab at her ass pushing just enough deeper where your orgasm shoots through you and it'll leave you raw and shaking and crying.

you're heaving as you shake and ellie continues to fuck you through every second of it, her clit throbbing as she fucks herself through her own release entirely.

"els... ah- iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou," you cry out as she slows her hips to stop against yours, her weight beginning to suffocate you.

she laughs cockily under her breath as she's still busy catching it. "i love you, bunny." she mumbles kissing your neck gently. "so much."