#Especially since she has way more description and official art than her parents

[bacchusen]

“Hush, now. Lay your head down and rest.”

Stone, The Mountain of Light

[tehuti88-art]

4/5/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." A twofer this week.

This week's characters from my anthro WWII storyline are Kolten Himmel and Anna Maria Himmel. Wait, didn't I already do Kolten Himmel...? Yes...technically, Kolten Himmel II. This here is his grandfather, and his grandmother; these are Capt. Otto Himmel's parents. They never appear in the main story as they're long deceased by then, though they played a big role shaping Himmel's actions and values. (Himmel's old description is way out of date, BTW.) Kolten senior is a merchant marine/sailor (thus the cap) whose ship is lost at sea when Otto is very young; his mother, who is poor but hardworking, very pious, and prone to mystical visions, dies when he's fourteen, so he decides to lie about his age and join the army. There'll be more about them later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding their designs: Kolten's cap design is based on what I could find of late 1800s/early 1900s images of German sailors, though I'm unsure if he's part of an official navy, or just a random sailor who ends up on whatever ship will take him (I lean toward the latter). I'm not certain about Anna Maria's hairstyle or hair color (she's supposed to look a bit more, uh, Edwardian, I guess?--but I had too much trouble drawing an upswept hairstyle), so that may change; there's a lot of sea-themed religious symbolism regarding how she and Kolten meet, so I decided to grant her one indulgence, sapphire earrings. (When Himmel leaves home he takes these, and Kolten's tally which he'd previously given to Anna Maria, to remember them by.)

TUMBLR EDIT: I wanted to draw these two as a pair. As I worked on them, the story of how they met poured into my head. I'll treat them as one entry but truncate Anna Maria's entry to avoid repetition; result, since I know a bit more about her than him, Kolten's entry here will be from her POV.

Anna Maria Traugott is poor but a hard worker, scraping by doing odd jobs--typing, filing papers, mending clothes, various sorts of housework, she toils for whoever will pay her, and does so without complaint. She comes from a Catholic family as hardworking and humble as she is, though by now she's on her own. She's also very religious, though her piety manifests in a somewhat unusual way: She has prophetic dreams and occasional visions, which sometimes almost seem to predict the future, though more often, they give her signs, divine signs, which she uses to guide her actions. She's especially devoted to Mary, her namesake, keeping a little shrine to her in her living quarters and often praying for advice. Hand in hand with her mystical visions comes an occasionally crushing melancholia; it's only her faith that keeps her going through it, though it gets difficult sometimes, and a dark cloud always looms over her. She has the brooding feeling that her life will be cut short at some point...she doesn't fear this, rather it just seems inevitable, fate, somehow. She just plows through her days with the steadfast belief that God will provide until He no longer will. It's not her place to question.

Anna Maria is busy mending clothes one day when the owner of the shop directs a customer to her. A tall man in a sailor's outfit enters, removing his cap respectfully; he offers her a shirt with a torn sleeve. Anna Maria says she can fix it, if he'll wait just a bit. She looks up at him as she takes the shirt. He has pale blue eyes, like the daytime sky; she blinks, and he does too. He offers a very small smile, thanks her, and takes a seat. She quickly stitches the shirt, good as new; he pays the shopkeeper, who sets aside Anna Maria's cut. The sailor thanks her again, bobbing his head; he seems to linger just a beat longer than usual before departing. Anna Maria has a funny feeling. He wasn't at all like most of the sailors who pass through. For some reason, her thoughts keep wandering back to him throughout the day. On a whim, when her work is done, she heads to the river where the nearest port is and the docks are always busy. She glances at the ships, having no idea really what she's doing, but then, she sees it: A ship's bow, emblazoned with the name DAS LICHT DES MEERES. The Light Of The Sea. She doesn't know how she knows. But she knows that's the ship.

The sailor with the sky-blue eyes is nowhere to be seen. Anna Maria wanders the dock for a few moments. She starts feeling a little foolish--why is she even here, what is she doing?--and turns around to head back toward land. And gasps when she nearly runs right into him. The sailor exclaims, "I knew it!"

Anna Maria: *recovering herself* "Knew...knew what?"

Sailor: "I knew I would find you here!" *shakes head* "I know I sound mad but...I had a feeling. That you'd be here looking for me. You are looking for me, ja...?" *starting to look embarrassed* "Bitte, tell me I'm not mad."

Anna Maria: *shakes head* "Nein...you're not mad."

Sailor: *encouraged* "I just...had this feeling. It's so odd. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew."

Anna Maria: "You don't have to explain...I understand it. I had a feeling, too."

Sailor: *beams for a moment* "I...I didn't get your name. I meant to ask..."

Anna Maria: "Anna...Anna Maria. Traugott."

Sailor: "Kolten. Kolten Himmel."

Anna Maria: *blinks* "Himmel...?"

Kolten: *smiles* "Ja." *pause* "I wondered...could I see you again? Tomorrow maybe?"

Anna Maria: *blushes* "Ah...all right. There's...there's a little outdoor cafe, not far from the shop, we could meet there...?"

Kolten: "Cafe." *bobs head* "Tomorrow, then...? At noon?"

Anna Maria: "Noon." *nods & blushes* "Ja."

Kolten: "I'll see you then." *steps back* "It was good to speak with you, Fräulein Traugott."

Anna Maria: "Good...good to speak with you, Herr Himmel."

The sailor--Kolten--smiles, turns, heads back for the ship. Anna Maria heads home. After doing her own chores and eating her little supper she kneels by the tiny shrine and lights a candle. Clasps her crucifix and stares at the small figure of Mary imploringly. "Is it a sign...?" she murmurs. "His eyes...the ship...Himmel?" To run across a sailor named Heaven, with eyes as blue as the heavens, sailing on The Light Of The Sea, when she's named after, and every evening prays to, the Star of the Sea...I mean, how can it not be a sign? A sign of WHAT, she's not sure--she gingerly asks, "Does it mean...he and I...the two of us...?" before trailing off. She's seriously never given a thought to such things; she's just assumed she was meant for a solitary life of hard work and contemplation. And she tells herself not to jump ahead of herself. But her heart's been beating a little bit faster since she first looked up into Kolten's sky blue eyes and saw his small smile...it looks like a sign. She blows out the candle, goes to bed, sleeps only fitfully. She keeps dreaming of the sky and of the sea.

The next day she heads for the cafe. As she draws near, though, her step falters. Will he even be there? She's heard of sailors and their ways, what does she even have to offer him? Yet...he'd said he had a feeling. Just like she did. Like it was meant to happen. It's not her place to question. She looks over her shoulder, briefly contemplates turning away and forgetting this impulse, then makes up her mind and turns back. And ahead of her, coming from the opposite direction, there he is. He sees her at the same instant she sees him, and a smile spreads across his face. She feels herself smiling in return, and goes to meet him.

They stop before each other and both say, "I thought--" then cut themselves off. Both gesture for the other to speak first; he does so, saying, "I thought you might not come." She admits she thought the same. "I'm not used to visiting cafes," Kolten says as if mildly embarrassed, casting it a glance; realizing that sailors are far more likely to visit taverns, Anna Maria blushes and says, "Neither...neither am I, to be honest." Though she has a reason different from his; to take lunch at a cafe is a luxury she can't really afford. Kolten looks at her, seems to understand; he glances aside, toward a nearby park. "The weather is good today," he suggests, "why don't we go for a walk?" Anna Maria accepts, feeling a twinge of relief. Although it's a sin to be proud, and she's not really ashamed of being poor, she does feel bad that she can't treat him to something nice, and she doesn't want to have him pay; his small suggestion helps put her at ease.

They head into the park, getting to know each other a little better as they slowly walk along the path. She asks him how long he's been a sailor. About as long as he's been able to climb aboard a boat, Kolten tells her; he lost his parents and took to the water when he was quite young. He practically grew up on the ships, raised by the crews during the day, rocked to sleep by the waves at night, so "I have land legs more for the sea than for the actual land, as funny as it sounds," he says. Anna Maria says she lost her parents when she was rather young as well. "Seems we have some things in common," Kolten says, and it's true, in a way they're in the same boat...metaphorically speaking. Although they've known each other only a day, she feels comfortable with him, and he's so kind and warm, a ray of sunlight in her relatively dreary life; as their walk nears its end she asks him when his ship is heading out again. Kolten's smile fades. "Tomorrow morning," he replies; Anna Maria's disappointment turns into a sharp pang of despair when she asks how long he'll be away, and he replies, about four months.

The dark cloud moves in again. Still, it had seemed like a sign; Anna Maria feels that they aren't meant to part yet, not so soon. She summons the courage to ask, "Will...will I see you again?" Kolten replies, "If you come looking for me." Emboldened, Anna Maria promises she'll come to the port to wait for him, and in return, he promises he'll be there, looking for her. The dark cloud dissipates a little. "Oh," Kolten says, as if just thinking of something; he takes off his cap, and unties the tally, removing it; he holds it out to her, saying, "Here." Anna Maria shakes her head, "Oh--no, I can't," she protests, but he says he can simply get another one, so she tentatively takes the ribbon. "Keep hold of it," Kolten says, then, "For luck, until I come back." "For luck," Anna Maria echoes, and they share a small smile. They part ways at the park's entrance, she heading home, he to the docks. She visits the port the next morning to watch Das Licht Des Meeres depart; she catches sight of Kolten untangling ropes on the deck, and he spots her as well. He smiles, lifts his cap, bobs his head; he's already replaced the tally, and the long ends of it whip around in the breeze. Anna Maria smiles back, shows him the old tally clasped in her hand, and waves. He disappears from sight, likely called to some ship duty or other; she watches for a while as the gangway is removed and the ship slowly pulls away from the docks, then heads off to work for the day. That evening, she lights her candle, clasps the tally to her breast, recites prayers for the ship's safe journey. She follows this little ritual for the next four months, without fail. She's certain her meeting with Kolten was predetermined, that it means something. She knows they'll meet again.

Anna Maria keeps her eye on the newspapers posted near the docks. They carry schedules of the ships' voyages, when they leave, when they're expected to return. Every day she anxiously scours the listings; her heart leaps into her throat when Das Licht Des Meeres appears, along with the estimated date of arrival. She waits on the dock every morning with Kolten's tally in her hand, fingers rubbing the cloth as if it's the beads of her rosary. The ship slowly pulls in to port one crisp morning; she cranes her neck, watching as the gangplank is brought out and the sailors begin to disembark with their duffel bags; she doesn't see him exit the ship, but as the noisy crowd thins, there he is, further along the dock; he sees her the moment she sees him, and just as before, he beams at her, and she smiles back. She goes to meet him, holds out the old tally. His smile goes from ear to ear; as if in jest, he removes the ribbon on his cap, and trades it for the old one. "Now you keep that one for luck," he says, tying the old tally around his cap, and Anna Maria's heart thumps.

Kolten is on leave for two weeks. He makes it clear he'd like to spend all that time in her company. Anna Maria blushes bright red, but doesn't mind. She regrets only that she has to work every day, yet Kolten promises he'll see her in the mornings, noons, and evenings. He does well enough to rent himself lodgings in the meantime. The next two weeks are absolutely lovely, and Kolten is an absolute gentleman; he never tries anything inappropriate, even though Anna Maria confesses to Mary that she has feelings for him, and she's sure he feels the same for her. She feels a twinge of guilt that she has a few rather impure thoughts, yet doesn't act on them, and he never pushes her to. When the time comes yet again for them to sadly part ways--his next voyage will last about three months--he does pause, and hesitantly makes a request: "Would you...would you mind, if I kissed you...?" Anna Maria feels her face flush hot--she wants to bury her head in the ground, and to yell, "Nein, nein, NEIN I would not mind!!", at the same time--but she manages to swallow the lump in her throat and stammer, "Uh--I--I wouldn't mind." Kolten pauses--giving her a moment to collect herself--then leans down and gently places his lips to hers, lingering only briefly before pulling away. It's chaste, it lasts but a short moment, yet her heart hammers in her breast and her neck tingles. Kolten stands straight again and offers his soft smile--"For luck," he murmurs--and heads for the ship. Anna Maria stays long enough to look for him on the deck and wave farewell at his cap-lift-head-bob; she heads back to work, then home. Lights her little candle. Says her little prayers. Retires to bed, and has all sorts of dreams...she makes sure to stop by the church and pop into a confessional the next day, she's so overwhelmed by the feelings. What she's not overwhelmed by is guilt...she has a feeling they're meant for each other, that soon, they'll be together, as husband and wife.

The process repeats. She prays at night, works during the day, starts checking the newspapers when the three months is almost up. Das Licht Des Meeres arrives; it feels like an old friend by now. Kolten appears on the dock as if by magic, smiles his beaming smile at the sight of her. His mood dims a bit when he says his leave this time is only a few days, she's saddened too, but they decide to make the most of it. "I wish you didn't always have to go," she murmurs when they prepare to part ways again, clasping each other's hands; "I wish I could keep you near." Her words seem to have an effect on Kolten; he pauses, bites his lip, then pulls his hands free and unties his duffel, digging inside. "I wasn't sure when to give this to you," he says as he looks; "now feels like the right time." He finds what he's looking for, pulls it out--"I found this at our last port of call, it made me think of you"--and holds it out to her: A small box. Anna Maria stares at it a moment, thinking surely it's not what it looks like; then Kolten kneels and opens it. A gold band, with a glittering blue jewel adorning it. She sucks in a breath of disbelief at the beauty of it.

"I saw it in a shop and it was like a sign," Kolten says; "It reminded me of your earrings...and your eyes." He takes the ring out of the box and holds it toward her earnestly; Anna Maria hesitates only briefly, swallowing, before holding out a trembling hand. Kolten slips the ring on her finger, then lingers holding her hand in his. "Now you can keep me near," he says, "until I come back." Anna Maria's eyes blur; she takes a breath, finds her voice, and, "Ja," she murmurs. "Ja...I will."

Kolten and Anna Maria wed on his next leave, and she becomes Anna Maria Himmel. She feels like her heart will burst. Sure, there's still the ever-present complication of his work, taking him away for weeks or months at a time, over and over, yet he always returns, and then they're near inseparable. For a long time, the dark cloud only lingers at the periphery of her vision, as she has him to focus her attention on. More than once he expresses the desire to spoil her--he's not rich by any means, a sailor's savings come and go, but he does well enough--yet she insists she doesn't need much, she's happiest having him by her side.

As the two stroll through the park one evening, Anna Maria suddenly gasps and stumbles to a halt--for an instant she's blinded, then the vision floods her head. She dimly hears Kolten exclaim, "Anna--? Anna Maria--!" before she slumps to the ground. The vision burns overwhelming all her senses for what feels like ages, though when she finally, slowly comes to, lying on the path with Kolten kneeling over her and squeezing her hand, she can tell it's been only a moment. Her visions never last long. He calls her name a few more times, relieved that she's awake, but worried that she may have hit her head, and even when she says she didn't he wishes to take her to a doctor; she declines, insisting she's fine. He's unconvinced until she attempts explaining the reason for her "fainting."

Anna Maria: "I...I didn't want to tell you...I was worried what you might think of me."

Kolten: "I'm your husband, it's obvious I would find out sometime. What didn't you want to tell me?"

Anna Maria: *reluctant* "I...have visions, sometimes."

Kolten: *furrowing brow* "Visions...? What sort of visions?"

Anna Maria: "...Visions from Mother Mary...sometimes the saints."

Kolten: "What do you see?"

Anna Maria: "They show me the answers to things...once in a while something that's to happen yet." *pause* "Kolten...I'm sorry I never told you. I worried you might think me mad."

Kolten: "Why would I think you mad...? It's plain you have a gift."

Anna Maria: *peers up at him* "Sometimes...it feels almost like a curse, instead."

Kolten: "Don't for a moment think of it that way. There are people who would kill for such an ability. You have something special." *pause* "What was it that you saw just now?"

Anna Maria: *faintly* "...An eagle...black...with two heads."

Kolten: *furrowing brow again* "The Reichsadler...? Do you have any idea what it would mean?"

Anna Maria: "Nein...no idea."

Kolten helps Anna Maria back to her feet and they head home. He fawns over her the rest of the night, making sure she's all right and well rested; by bedtime they've forgotten all about the odd incident. Indeed, something else occurs a bit later that completely draws their attention away from the vision--Anna Maria wakes abruptly from a dream, her gasp waking Kolten as well, and as he attempts to calm her down he asks what she dreamed about. "I dreamed I was holding a pear," she says, sleepy and confused. Kolten seems just as perplexed, asks what does a pear mean. Without thinking, Anna Maria shifts her hands; she and Kolten both look down to see that she's placed them over her belly, as if to protect herself. They look at each other.

It's far too soon to go to a doctor, but Anna Maria is certain of it: She's pregnant. When Kolten's next tour comes up, he's reluctant to leave her on her own, and even contemplates a change of profession, something that would keep him on land. Although she wants him to stay near as well, Anna Maria objects: "Remember what you told me? You have legs more for the sea than for land. The sea is your home, I'd never ask you to give it up." "You're my home," Kolten says, to which she smiles and replies, "Then you'll have to come back to me."

Kolten's tour lasts over four months. Anna Maria is awaiting him on the dock when Das Licht Des Meeres arrives; he can hardly run to and embrace her fast enough. He exclaims over the sight of her; she's showing by now, something that was gradual to her, but not to him. After he gets his belongings put away he tends on her hand and foot despite her protests, though she has to admit the attention is nice. The amount of time he'll be on leave is up in the air at the moment, but he promises to stay right by her as much as he can. She even manages a break from working every day, and catches up on some much-needed rest.

The pregnancy progresses normally, no scares, no worries but the usual. Anna Maria hopes to be the best mother she can; she prays at her little shrine (Kolten doesn't share her religiosity, yet he never criticizes it either, and makes every effort to understand and accept it), asks Mother Mary for her guidance, pays close attention to her dreams and to possible signs, yet nothing else overt appears. Kolten is called up again and she can tell the news crushes him--he offers to decline the voyage--but she can't bear to be the one to stand between him and the one other love of his life; she insists that he go, there's nothing to feel guilty about, she'll be waiting as always when he returns. It's almost certain that he won't be back before the birth of their child, but he clasps her hands and vows that if even the tiniest shred of possibility for him to get back to her in time arises, he'll grab it. She sees the ship off, holding up his old tally for him to see; from the deck, he sadly lifts his cap, bobs his head, as Das Licht Des Meeres pulls away.

As expected, Kolten is still at sea when Anna Maria goes into labor. Neighbors take her to the hospital; the process is prolonged and painful, but she gives birth to a healthy baby boy in the sign of Capricorn, a creature half of the land, half of the sea. She cradles him close and when his eyes finally blink open, she sees that they look a lot like hers, a darker, gloomier blue than his father's light, sky-blue eyes. The nurses take him away to let her get some rest, and she dozes off into a dreamless sleep. When she awakes, she sleepily looks to the side and finds Kolten there, the baby now cradled in his own arms; he blinks out of a doze and immediately leans toward her when she says his name. His ship had stopped in another port previously; unable to stand it anymore, he'd requested an extended leave, and took the train to get to her. He regrets not being there for the birth, "But I'm here now. I'm not leaving for a while." He marvels over their new baby--"He has your eyes!"--and asks what she's named him. Anna Maria says she hasn't named him yet...she hoped the two of them could think of something together. Kolten seems surprised by this answer, and admits that he has no ideas. The two new parents sit there for a while staring at the sleeping baby before Kolten says, "Well...I'm sure a name will come to you, ja? Some sort of sign? We just have to keep our eyes open." "They want a name for us to put on the birth certificate," Anna Maria laments, but Kolten replies that they'll just have to wait: "I know it'll come to you when the time is right. We only need to listen."

The nurse visits with them, asks for a name, suggests that the hospital keep hold of the birth certificate until they think of something. They return home once Anna Maria is strong enough. She frets and fusses over the baby, though it's mostly just anxiety; he's healthy, he's well behaved and not colicky, he meets all the expectations a baby is supposed to meet. He just doesn't have a name. Anna Maria and Kolten try to give him the best childhood they can afford, which, in their circumstances, means lots of walks in the parks and streets. He's too young yet to ride on his father's shoulders, and they have no stroller, so they take turns carrying him; he blinks his big blue eyes curiously at everything around him, cooing curiously. Kolten tells him the names of everything he sees; he's too young yet to speak, but "He's bright, brighter than both of us, I just know it," Kolten murmurs proudly, "Just watch, he'll learn everything, and go to the best universities." "Liebe, we can't afford universities," Anna Maria protests; Kolten just pooh-poohs her: "We'll find a way! And even if we don't, even if he never sets foot in a university, just you watch. He'll make something of himself. He'll make a difference. I know you don't care for the big things. But even a small thing can be important. He'll do something that matters, just watch." Anna Maria says, "Even if it matters just for one person...that's enough. It doesn't have to be anything grand, I just want his life to mean something." Kolten grasps her hand and replies, "It will. I have a feeling. Whatever he does, it'll matter."

They visit a nearby, larger city, and stroll around through its heart, admiring the old buildings, the streets, the statues. Kolten is busy murmuring the names of various things that capture the baby's attention and make him wave his hands when Anna Maria, walking along lost in her thoughts, lifts her head and sees it--looming over her, a large eagle, black, double headed. She gasps and jerks to a halt. Kolten hurries to her side, ready to ask what's wrong, when he sees it as well, eyes widening, so she knows it's not just her this time. It takes a moment for her shock to fade enough for her to realize she's staring at the side of a pedestal of a statue; Kolten hands her the baby, and circles around to the statue's front, looking up--it's the figure of a crowned man bearing an orb and a cross scepter--then down again at its base. "Otto der Grosse," he reads from the inscription, "Holy Roman Emperor." He blinks, lowers his head, looks at Anna Maria and then down at the baby. "Otto," he says, with an air of immense confidence.

Anna Maria, however, isn't so sure; she furrows her brow. "Otto...?" she murmurs doubtfully; "It isn't even a Biblical name." She just assumed the child would end up named something like Johann, or Matthias. Yet Kolten seems convinced: "The vision you had with the Reichsadler! It was just before your dream, with the pear. They're connected, surely, ja?--this must be the sign!" Seeing her hesitation, he falters a little: "Unless I misunderstand...? You are the one who saw it...am I interpreting it wrong?" Anna Maria just stares at the baby for a moment or so; "Otto," she says softly, and he looks up at her, blue eyes focusing on hers. She glances up at the statue, back down at the baby, and he appears to notice the statue too, for he stretches out an arm and makes a noise, as if wanting to know what it is; "Otto," Anna Maria says again, without thinking, and the baby says, "Ah," because he's too young to speak, but all of a sudden her mind is made up. She looks up at Kolten, her own expression certain now, and nods.

After their trip they return to the hospital, have the birth certificate filled out. Anna Maria brings the baby to the church to be baptized and although she doesn't give him a new, Christian first name, she does give him a saint's middle name: Otto Aloysius Himmel. Baby Otto makes an unpleasant face and lets out a displeased mewl when the water trickles over him.

Kolten eventually returns to the sea; Anna Maria receives help from her neighbors and the church in raising young Otto. Just as his father had predicted, Otto is bright, curious, intelligent; he's quiet and a bit shy and serious--Anna Maria can't help but spot a trace of her own melancholia in him, and it hurts--but is also eager to learn new things, always asking questions when he's unsure of something, and always remembering what he's learned. Anna Maria is thankful that, although he always listens fascinated to the stories Kolten tells him of being at sea every time he returns home, Otto appears to have no inclination to follow him out onto the water; he remains firmly on the land, showing as much fascination for the rites and rituals his mother engages in, joining her when she offers prayers at her little shrine to Mary. She and Kolten pool their savings to send Otto to the best schools they can afford once he's old enough; Anna Maria hopes for him to have a better life than either of them had. They aren't rich, they have to watch every pfennig, and Kolten is far too often away from home, leaving mother and son on their own for long periods; yet they manage, and aside from a gloomy spell of Anna Maria's here and there, they're happy.

One lowering, cloudy day, Anna Maria and Otto accompany Kolten to the docks to see him off; he's to be away for a couple of months. They stop not far from the ship and Kolten turns to smile at Anna Maria. She blinks--suddenly, her husband is surrounded by a glow like a halo in a religious painting, backlighting him, nearly casting his features into shadow. She thinks maybe it's the sun breaking through the clouds, yet the sky is as dark as before. It's a beautiful, wondrous sight--yet Anna Maria's heart twists, and her blood runs cold. "Don't go," she blurts out, without thinking. Kolten blinks, furrows his brow; even Otto peers up at her, puzzled. Kolten seems to notice the distress on her face; "Anna...?" he says; then, "You saw something. What is it?" When she doesn't reply, he grasps her hands, hard. "If you want me to stay," he urges, "just ask it. I'll stay. I'll never go out there again if it's what you wish. I'll find another job...something working the docks, maybe...still near the water." He glances over his shoulder at Das Licht Des Meeres, then back at her. "All you have to do is ask me, and I'll do it."

Anna Maria nearly tells him to stay, to never go out on the water again, because something is telling her, an alarm bell is clanging in her head, that if he does, she's never going to see him again. Yet she sees something else, a flicker in Kolten's eyes. There's grief lurking just under the surface, grief and loss for something that hasn't happened yet--and only she can prevent it from happening. She knows, just as surely as she knows this is the last time she'll see her husband, that if she asks him to stay, she'll break his heart. He'll still be with her, he'll still be alive...but will he, really? He has two homes, after all, and she would be asking him to give up the first one he's ever known. She's known such feelings of pain and emptiness all her life...she can't bear the thought of inflicting them on anyone else, if she has the choice. She can break his heart...or she can break her own.

Anna Maria swallows, blinks the blur from her eyes, takes a breath. Summons the most convincing yet wavery smile she can manage. Clasps Kolten's hands back, and shakes her head. "Nein," she says, "just...come back to me?"

Kolten stares at her a moment longer before visibly relaxing. He touches her face. "I'll always come back to you," he murmurs, "I promise." He kisses her forehead, wishes her farewell; kneels to kiss Otto's forehead, tells him, as always, that he's the man of the house for now, and Otto promises to do his best and be good; then, with a last glance back, Kolten turns and heads up the gangway. Anna Maria and Otto wait on the dock until he appears far above; he lifts his cap, tally streaming, and bobs his head, blowing them a kiss. Then, he's gone. Anna Maria lingers this time, clasping Otto's hand, and doesn't stop watching until Das Licht Des Meeres is long out of sight. "Mutter...?" Otto murmurs, finally drawing her out of her thoughts; she smiles at him through the beginning of her tears, and they head home.

Anna Maria returns to working during the days, prays to Mary every night. Begs her to look after Kolten, to keep him safe. Otto does his lessons, does his chores, helps any way he can even though he's still so young, Anna Maria's heart aches for him, for the childhood he should have. She watches the newspapers, and eventually Das Licht Des Meeres appears in the schedule; she takes Otto to the docks to wait. The ship doesn't arrive on the expected day, yet this in itself isn't alarming; it's been as late as a week on more than one occasion. Anna Maria swallows her anxiety, puts on a brave face for Otto--"Maybe Vater will arrive tomorrow"--and takes him home. Yet the ship doesn't arrive the next day, or the next...a week passes, with her heart clenching harder in her chest every day, and still no word of what's happened. Anna Maria questions the dock workers, the merchants, the sailors and captains of the other ships that arrive; they have no news to give her, although they're obviously sympathetic. She asks the man who posts the newspaper near the docks; he says there's been no word of Das Licht Des Meeres yet, though he's heard there were storms reported along her route. Anna Maria fights back the tears as she mumbles her thanks; she manages to hold them off until she's lying in bed alone that night, and cries herself to sleep.

Anna Maria opens her eyes, then squints, confused, when light pours into her room; "Otto...?" she murmurs, thinking maybe he's opened the shutters. The windows are still dark--yet the walls, floor, and ceiling are rippling with soft bluish light. Kolten is standing across from the bed, staring at her, his eyes sad. Anna Maria gasps--"Kolten!"--and bolts upright in the bed, ready to throw off the blankets and run to him...yet he's surrounded by the same brilliant halo as before, and it's as if a soft breeze flows around him, lifting the edges of his clothes, the trailing ends of his tally. As Anna Maria stares, she realizes what it looks like...it looks as if she's viewing Kolten through an undulating wall of water. As soon as she realizes this, Kolten raises his hand. Tips his cap...the tally gently waving behind it. Bobs his head. And fades away, the soft blue glow fading away with him.

Anna Maria doesn't want to believe that the vision meant what it looked like. Tells herself, perhaps he's still out there, just lost. Perhaps he's telling her he's trying to come home. She hopes against hope. She has trouble rousing Otto from bed one morning not long after; he mumbles that he doesn't feel well, and he's not prone to malingering. She presses a hand to his forehead, gasps at how hot he is, hurries to call a doctor. The doctor can't determine what specifically is wrong, without sending Otto away to a specialist; Anna Maria can hardly afford it, and the doctor isn't sure Otto could handle the journey anyway. He advises her to give him fluids, place cold cloths on him, keep watch for if he gets worse; other than that, there's little to be done, but hope and pray. Anna Maria does both, praying to Saint Aloysius and weeping before her little shrine at night, entreating Mary as a fellow grieving mother: "Bitte, don't take him from me," she begs through her tears, "I can't lose him, too. Bitte, let him get better. I'd give anything. Bitte, without him I have nothing left. Bitte..."

Otto burns with fever for over a week. Kolten's ship does not return. Anna Maria's neighbors bring food and well wishes, clean the house for her, do the chores, as she's in no shape to do so, spending almost every hour at her son's bedside, leaving him in the care of a friend only to wait on the docks. She dreams that Mother Mary tells her her son will live: "Death will come for him, over and over...sickness, war, the blade...yet it won't take him. Only age will touch him." Late one night, into the second week of this hell, she wakes at a faint call of "Mutter...!" drifting from Otto's room. She tosses on a robe, hurries to his bedside, lights the lamp; Otto's cheeks are still flushed, his face still sweaty, but when she touches him this time he's not nearly so hot. The fever has broken. "Mutter, I'm thirsty," he murmurs drowsily, so she tilts his head up and gives him a sip of water. Then--"I saw Vater," Otto says faintly, and Anna Maria's heart nearly stops.

A tremor in her voice, she asks him what he means. He repeats that he saw Kolten: "He looked sad. He told me he's not coming home. But he said to be strong, that I'm the man of the house now." He peers up at Anna Maria, who's barely holding back her tears. "Mutter...why is Vater not coming home?" he asks.

Anna Maria swallows, offers a faint, pained smile. "He's not coming home because he can't, Liebe," she murmurs. "He's somewhere else now and can't come home from there. I know he would, if he could." "Will we ever see him again...?" Otto asks, to which she nods, and puts her arm around him. "Ja, we will...we'll go to see him someday." "Soon?" Otto asks, and she shakes her head: "Nein, Liebe, not soon...not for a long time. But we'll see him again. I promise."

Otto is weak for a while as he recovers. A notice eventually appears in the papers, reporting the disappearance of Das Licht Des Meeres, presumed to have gone down in a squall with all hands aboard. Anna Maria cries every night alone in her room with her shrine. Her heart feels both too empty--empty from the hole Kolten's absence has left in it--and too full--full of all the love she has for Otto, the only one left in her life. Yet her heart breaks for him as well, as it's obvious now that he's inherited her gift, or her curse, or perhaps both. She'd hoped for a normal, happy life for him. She no longer has any fear of losing him--Mother Mary made it clear he will likely long outlive her--but she regrets that she can't offer him this one thing, that he has to shoulder such a burden himself. She wants to give him everything. But she hurts so much, she feels she has too little to offer anymore, and on especially dark days--which are growing more and more frequent without Kolten's warm, encouraging presence to stave them off--she wonders if her son would be better off without her darkness pulling him down like the waves pulled down Kolten's ship. She takes to calling him mein Licht, my light, as he's the only spark she has left.

Anna Maria holds on as long as she's able. She sends Otto to the best school that her and Kolten's savings can afford. He learns languages, history, literature, fencing. What the school doesn't teach him, he looks up on his own. He's always at her side when she visits church, even though it brings her far less comfort than it once did, and she wonders if her prayers are even heard anymore; her visions, her dreams, seem to have faded away since the last message from Mother Mary, and she fears she's no longer good enough for the saints' wisdom. Worst of all, she never dreams of Kolten, no matter how much her heart aches and her soul cries out for him. She numbly does her work for a pittance every day, but in the home, increasingly it's Otto who tends to the chores; more than once he has to coax her to care for herself, ask her to eat, or help her off the couch and to bed. On nights after he tucks her in and kisses her forehead--"Schlaf gut, Mutter"--she weeps silently into her pillow, and hugs the one where Kolten once rested his head. She grieves that he has no grave for her to visit. That he's down there somewhere, in the cold dark deep, with no light to watch over him. That she just can't bring herself to be the mother her son needs right now.

She holds on. Otto grows into his early teens, soft spoken, polite, dutiful, modest; a hard worker and a true believer just like she is; the neighbors, the churchgoers, his teachers, tell Anna Maria what a lovely son she has, he would have made his father proud. She always smiles and thanks them though her heart clenches inside. Her Otto needs a father, a mother, yet he pretty much has neither, as he has to look after her when he's home. She fears he'll never get to go out in the world, start his own family, find his own happiness and purpose. She feels as if she's the anchor holding him down, holding him back. Dragging him down into the dark after her.

The rumble of war arises, but she's not paying attention. The darkness is crushing her; even crying feels like too much effort anymore. One day while Otto is off at classes, Anna Maria sits down to write him a letter. She has to wipe her damp eyes and take a steadying breath now and then as she writes to her son that she's sorry he's on his own now, yet she knows he'll be all right, Mother Mary told her so; her visions may have stopped, but they've never steered her wrong. She tries to explain the darkness closing in, slowly drowning her, though she's sure he knows already what she's talking about, she's sorry also that she passed it on to him--if she could take it from him, do one useful deed to ease his own pain, she gladly would. She tells him her highest remaining hope, that he live his own life, no longer burdened by hers; she knows she will bring him grief no matter what she does, just that this feels like the lesser of two evils. Her Otto has to be strong. He has to forge ahead. He may be alone now, but not truly. God walks with him, and Mary and all the saints, and his father and the ancestors who've gone before. And not least of all, his mother, who will always love and watch over him, no matter what path he takes. Kolten had had a feeling that his life would go somewhere, would mean something. She feels it, too. She tells him one last time that she loves him, and always will: "I have never once been disappointed in you, mein Licht."

Otto returns home late in the afternoon; after classes, he often seeks small work in the city like his mother does, making what extra money he can to help out; he's excellent with paperwork, with files and typing and writing and organizing, so it's not too hard to find chores that the townsfolk need done, especially now that so many of the men are heading off to the front. "Sorry I'm late, Mutter," he exclaims as he comes in, wiping his boots, shaking off his coat, hanging up his cap; he heads straight into the little kitchen, opens cabinets, takes out a pair of bowls, a pan, sets down the small package of groceries he picked up for that evening's supper, which he always prepares for them since the decline in his mother's spirits. He gets everything up and cooking, prepares a drink, enters the parlor, expecting to find her lying listless on the couch, ready to gently rouse her and get her to take a sip as he tells her about his day--he always manages to get a wan smile out of her that way--yet the couch is empty, no one is there. "Mutter...?" he says, puzzled; he sets the drink down, looks around. "Mutter?" he calls louder as he wanders, before spotting an envelope on the hallway stand; he opens it, unfolds the paper, reads the delicate script. His face goes paler as he reads; he reaches the end, drops the letter--"Mutter?--Mutter!" he exclaims, and hurries down the hall to her room.

Anna Maria is lying atop the bedcovers, fully dressed, curled up on her side with her arms loosely around Kolten's pillow. She looks like she's simply sleeping, but her face is pale, and she's not moving. "Mutter," Otto says breathlessly, hurrying to her and grasping her hand--then gasping and letting it go. He freezes for a moment before gingerly touching her face. It's as cold as her hand. He sees something lying in a tangle of cloth and picks it up. A small bottle, labeled LAUDANUM. Otto's breath hitches and his vision blurs.

He sits by her for a little while as the shadows, both literal and figurative, grow around them. Holds her cold hand in his own and cries. Wipes his eyes, sniffling, and gets up to go turn off the stove before there can be an accident; he dumps out the uneaten food, puts away the unused dishes. Goes to his room, pulls out a little suitcase, and hastily but methodically packs a few necessities, clothes, food, money, personal papers, having to stop and wipe his eyes repeatedly. His step falters as he returns to his parents' room. He stares at his mother for a moment or so; she's not wearing her earrings, the blue ones his father had admired as reminding him of her eyes and the sea--it got to be too much effort to put on unnecessary jewelry every day--though she's of course wearing her rings, both her plain wedding band and the ring Kolten gave her with the blue stone. Otto wants something to remind him of her, to keep her close, but he can't take her rings. She needs to be wearing them when she meets Kolten again, wearing his. He goes to the dresser, finds the blue earrings, and, beside them, a black ribbon emblazoned in gold, DAS LICHT DES MEERES. Kolten's old tally, which he'd given Anna Maria so long ago, for luck.

Otto takes a breath, rubs his wet eyes, grabs the earrings and the tally and shuts the drawer. He tucks them and his mother's letter in his shirt. Then fetches the bottle of laudanum, and hides it far under the bed, beneath a loose board, and out of sight. Tries to hold back his tears as he kisses his mother's forehead--"Schlaf gut, Mutter," he murmurs--and then fetches his coat and cap, and goes to the neighbors', knocking loudly and calling out.

The neighbors are decent people. This door belongs to an elderly couple who respond quickly to Otto's cries, hurrying after him as he leads them to his mother. He tells them he couldn't wake her, that he found her like this. He tells only the truth, though not all of it; he doesn't mention the letter, or the bottle. The wife leads him to his room and sets him down, comforting him as her husband checks on Anna Maria before calling her back. She tells Otto to stay put a moment, though he creeps up the hall to listen in a bit. They're talking in hushed voices, but his hearing is good. The husband has found the bottle of laudanum, and says they need to inform the authorities. The wife protests, "Nein!" and in a whisper, explains: "You see the shrine--? They're Catholics. Suicide is the one unforgivable sin. If you mention this, she won't be buried in consecrated ground." She says they'll report it as an accident instead, and adds that she'll tell Otto the same, to spare him the shame. They can take him in in the meantime.

Otto hardly hears this last bit. He's busy returning to his room, fetching his packed case, and furtively exiting without a word. By the time they realize he's no longer within the home, he's long gone, running along the street, heading toward the train station. He remembers the train from when he was little and they occasionally visited the neighboring city, where his father pointed out the statue of Otto the Great. There's a military recruitment office there. Otto is only fourteen. Yet he believes he can lie convincingly enough that he's of age, and given the budding war and the need for soldiers, they may be lax in checking him out too closely. He reaches the station, buys a one-way ticket, and bustles aboard just as the train is preparing to pull away; he finds his car and squeezes into the seat, gasping for breath, case clasped to his chest. He digs in his shirt, finds the earrings and tally and letter, feels his eyes flood. He doesn't bother wiping away the tears as the train whistle blows and it slowly leaves the station; water is starting to stream down the window, so it's hard to tell where tears end and the rain begins. Over the port city, and seated alone in the train, the heavens begin to cry.

EDIT: Song for the Himmel family (closed captioning on for lyrics).

[Kolten Himmel 2024 [‎Friday, ‎April ‎5, ‎2024, ‏‎12:00:47 AM]]

[jinjojess]

超高校級の英雄 V3: Danganstuck Classpects V3

Okay, okay. 

Enough waiting around; let’s get this up and ready to go.

These are obviously just my own opinions on things, and as such are very closely tied to my own personal interpretations of both the V3 characters and also of the classpects themselves. For clarity’s sake, I based the aspect rationalizations from the official lore here, and I used the MSPA wiki for direction with the classes.

Just as a quick note, I used some of the FTE info (which is debatable in its veracity) for some of the assignments. Sorry, gotta work with what I have to work with. Also, if anything is expanded on in Homestuck 2, I have no idea, as I haven’t read it (or the epilogues, for that matter).

Akamatsu Kaede Prince(ss) of Time Derse Dreamer The Land of Sharps and Flats

Going off the canon description of Time, it makes perfect sense for Akamatsu. She’s goal-oriented, wants to skip to the credits, and would rather take a leap of faith than wait things out. To say nothing of the strong associations between Time and music. I went with Prince for her as a class since it’s the destroyer class--Akamatsu very literally destroys both Amami and herself (and her goal of getting everyone out alive) thanks to her own impatience in wanting to stop the one responsible for the killing game. I had her sleep on Derse since she’s supposed to be a bit of a protag subversion in that she hatches a literal murder scheme. Her equivalent of the Beat Mesa is a big metronome. 

I also have an alt land name for her in The Land of Ninths and Eighths to reference the time signature of Claire de Lune (which is 9/8). 

Saihara Shuuichi Page of Doom Prospit & Derse Dreamer The Land of Glass and Fingerprints

I considered making Saihara a Rage player at first given how the ultimate conflict is (supposedly going to be) solved in Chapter 6, but the description of Doom players as being commiseraters rather than healers really stuck out to me as appropriate for Saihara. Of all the characters in the game, he’s one of the few that doesn’t actually push anyone to heal, and his ultimate gambit in the 6th trial is to counteract the audience trying to self-medicate with catharsis at their expense. He takes a while to come into his own, which is the signature trait of the Page class, too. As a Doom player, he dreams on both moons, which for reasons I can’t quite articulate just clicks for me. The glass in his land name references not only magnifying glasses but also mirrors, since his is very much a journey of self-reflection.

Amami Rantarou Seer of Breath Prospit Dreamer The Land of Sails and Nail Polish

I really like what I came up with here for Amami. Breath is linked pretty strongly to his FTE reveals about how his desire to explore led his sisters to disappear into the ether (and changed his direction in life), and the angst he feels over wanting to reunite with his sisters hints at his trouble with bonds (the Breath inverse Blood’s territory). I incorporated the boat stuff into the theme with the idea of sailing for his world name, while the nail polish is for his sisters and that extra scene with Akamatsu. I went with Seer as the class since Amami Knows Things, and there’s that bit about Seers “having a strategy guide in their head” that I wanted to be a callback to the special map and the fact that he’s the Shogo Kawada of this operation. Prospit as the dream moon just felt right, so there it is.

Iruma Miu Thief of Space Prospit Dreamer The Land of Caulk and Nuts (and Frogs)

I don’t care if you have to have Frogs somewhere in the Space player’s land name, I will stand by that pun! So Space is all about creation and seeing the bigger picture, and to me that jived with how Iruma is an inventor. While Time is deeply linked to music on a conceptual level, Space is linked to nurturing, including growing plants, raising animals, and parenting. The Space and Motherhood parallels fit well with Iruma’s canon aspirations and goals. I went with Thief because Iruma is very much out for Number One, and wants to hog up all the creation ability for her own ends. Prospit dreamer because she’s the type.

Ouma Kokichi Bard of Heart Derse Dreamer The Land of Kings and Horses

There’s a lot you could do with Ouma, and I’m sure that plenty of people peg him as a Void player because of the lying. For me though, I read Ouma has being primarily concerned with his own identity, and how he’s perceived by others. Fractured senses of self are a Heart concept, after all, and it seems that Ouma likes trying on identities to see which one ultimately fits him best. I made him a Bard because they’re unpredictable and all about helping or hurting a session in random turns, but also because Ouma himself is allowing his own identity to be destroyed thanks to his paranoia and inability to let anyone get close to him. He dreams on Derse with all the other schemers, and I went with a name pun for the planet that can also function as a chess reference (ala his bandana and his 5d chess approach to life).

Kiibo Sylph of Mind Derse Dreamer The Land of Shells and Ghosts

Since Sylphs are healers, I wanted to have Kiibo in that role, since he’s usually trying very hard to smooth things over and fix problems. I went with Mind for him for a few reasons: one is that Kiibo’s self-identity is subsumed by his “inner voice” that later turns out to be audience suggestions, meaning that he’s healing things through the choices of others and doesn’t have as much of a Self as it were. Another reason is because I made Naegi a Mind player and Kiibo is clearly meant to be a bit of a callback to him (up to and including the fact that Naegi very much functions as an audience insert in the first game). I made Kiibo a Derse dreamer because he literally hears the whispers of the audience members telling him what to do. The land name was me having a little fun and poking at his aspect a bit.

Gokuhara Gonta Heir of Light Prospit Dreamer The Land of Pins and Wings

Light is all about knowledge, and Gonta has, while specific, quite a lot of knowledge. He likes learning, and is open to new information to re-evaluate what he knows. I made him an Heir since the speculation is that they are subsumed in their aspect, and Gonta is very passively knowledgable. He often offers helpful suggestions based on things he just happens to know, for instance, and what ultimately undoes him is Ouma showing him the “truth” of things, which Gonta doesn’t even think to question. He’s a Prospit dreamer who’s been awake for awhile, unwittingly watching the clouds for signs, and his land name is a reference to pinning butterflies into a collection.

Shinguuji Korekiyo Mage of Light Derse Dreamer The Land of Scrolls and Masks

Meanwhile, on the other end of knowledge for knowledge’s sake, we have the other scholar, Shinguuji. Unlike Gonta, he’s actively out there seeking knowledge, rather than being drawn to it, and his motives are undeniably selfish in nature, so I wanted him to be an active class (I’m assuming Mage is the active counterpart to Seer, shhh). Shinguuji uses his understanding of his field--humans--to progress his own goals and wants. He’s also smart enough to know what pieces of information to share and which to keep hidden behind a convenient zipper. Made him Derse because shemey as all hell, and I went with some general imagery for folklore for the land name.

Chabashira Tenko Knight of Breath Prospit Dreamer The Land of Sweat and Flipping

I think we can all agree that Chabashira is probably not a Derse dreamer. Meanwhile, I chose her aspect for a couple of reasons: first, because aikido is generally about evading attacks which strikes me as a windy kinda deal, even if Neo Aikido is a bit different; second, because her central conflict in the game is about learning to let go of a bond she desperately wants to forge with Yumeno (which, again, is a Blood-related matter); and third, because flipping somebody would create a gust of air movement and that image made me laugh. I went with Knight for Chabashira, since the most common interpretation of Knight is that it exploits its aspect, and I think that Chabashira is able to exploit the various currents of influence (especially in Chapter 3) to great success. I also think that she exploits The Breeze to nudge Yumeno’s path out of danger by taking her place in the kagonoko ritual. The land name is the sweat of training in martial arts, and the flipping is not just about said martial arts, but also about being flung off a see-saw.

Toujou Kirumi Knight of Life Derse Dreamer The Land of Sticks and Carrots

Life players are generally known to be trying to fix everybody’s problems, whether they want that to happen or not, and if that doesn’t scream Toujou to you, I don’t know what will. I went with Knight again for the exploitation aspect of it, where Toujou uses her position as authority in the group to further what she believes to be the greater good (hedging my bets here since we don’t know if Knight is active or passive). She’s clearly a Derse dreamer, because even if she wasn’t schemey, she’s droll as fuck. Her land references the two main ways to motivate someone: threats and rewards.

Harukawa Maki Knight of Time Prospit Dreamer The Land of Beans and Demons

I know, I know, but really, if you think about it, HaruMaki and Dave do kind of have a lot in common (and not just the fact that they have red eyes). The part about Time that fits well to me is that a Time player’s life is marked by strife and struggle, which HaruMaki has in spades. Like Akamatsu, she’s impatient and often acts rashly, in an attempt to cut out the middle man or advance what she thinks should be happening. She’s the last of our Knight squad, exploiting Time (or more broadly, destruction/entropy) to try and help out, such as trying to off Ouma or attack the Exisals head on. There’s also a bit on the Wiki that’s speculated that Knights often try to conceal their insecurities by acting tough, which is HaruMaki’s M.O. While she doesn’t have the music theme, assassination is very much about timing. I had her dream on Prospit because she’s not really a plans person, deep down, and her land name is a joke about her name/birthday referencing Setsubun.

HaruMaki doesn’t have a Beat Mesa equivalent, but she does have a tool specifically for causing a Scratch: a huge, unwieldy kantana.

Hoshi Ryouma Prince of Blood Prospit Dreamer The Land of Grass and Clay

Here you go, anon, what you were waiting for. I personally peg Hoshi as a Blood player, through and through. He’s stubborn, values bonds with other people, can lead via inspiration rather than direct command, and feels grounded. I think he’s a Prince thanks to the fact that he ended up destroying the very people who meant so much to him, and in the aftermath continued to push people away and pre-emptively destroy any possible future bonds. He’s a Prospit dreamer because he can see flashes of the future, though he often doesn’t read them correctly. His land is a reference to different types of tennis courts.

Momota Kaito Rouge of Hope Prospit Dreamer The Land of Wishes and Stars

The key part of a Hope player is that they can dream up a better world than the one that exists, and that can definitely be said about Momota. Like Jake, he’s a bit in his own head and immersed in his fantasy version of reality, where he plays the hero and is able to save everyone else. He’s somewhat gullible, to a point, and he’s the most superstitious of the bunch, showing how much stock he can put into the thing he believes. The sheer power of Momota’s belief is infectious, hence why I made him a Rogue--he’s out there trying to impart his sense of belief into those around him, for everyone’s benefit. He dreams on Prospit because of course he does, and I made his land name reflect literal space in conjunction with his talent, and to riff on that inspirational poster about shooting for the moon and landing among the stars.

Yumeno Himiko Heir of Doom Prospit & Derse Dreamer The Land of Death and Magic

While most people who played V3 picked up on Saihara being depressed, not everyone has noticed that Yumeno also suffers from the same bleak view of the world. Similarly to Saihara, Yumeno is not a healer, or a doer. She’s here to sigh and complain and tell you that’s rough, buddy. Because of that, I can definitely see her as a Doom player. I made her an Heir, as one who is consumed by their aspect, since Yumeno is very much doom and gloom a lot of the time. She’s also subconsciously drawn to death, as she gets close to both Angie and Chabashira before their untimely demises. It’s through their deaths that she comes more into her own, hence why it’s also part of her land title (I don’t think I have to explain the other part). She dreams on both moons because Doom players are implied to do so.

Yonaga Angie Witch of Hope Derse Dreamer The Land of Prayer and Idols

Like Momota, Angie has intense faith on her side; if Angie thinks it’s true, it’s true. She’s also similarly not looking at the same world as everyone else, instead seeing something slightly different and colored by her own beliefs. However, unlike Momota, Angie is not interested in helping others find their own faith, and would rather use the power of her belief for her own gain. Hence why I made her a Witch, an active class that manipulates its aspect. The other characters may not believe in Angie’s religion, but they sure do believe her when she tells them to sacrifice their autonomy for safety. I put her on Derse since her god could very easily just be a specific horrorterror, and the land name is connected to religion. 

Shirogane Tsumugi Maid of Void Derse Dreamer The Land of Scripts and Swatches

I went through a lot of possible Classpects for Shirogane, including Light, Space, Seer, Heart, etc., but I think that this is what I’m going to settle on. Derse Dreamer because not only is she schemey, she’s listening to whispers of her bosses and the ratings, albeit in a less direct sense than Kiibo (what’s more horrorterror-y than a focus group!). Void as an aspect works well to me, since Shirogane is always going on and on about being plain and forgettable, about how she hides in plain sight, and even her talent is about becoming somebody else rather than herself. She’s also the one who in the end throws the “truth” into question, instead concealing it in favor of ambiguity. I went with Maid since one of the speculated interpretations is one who creates or creates through their aspect: she not only (arguably) erases the casts’ identities and memories, she does this in order to have “blank pages” on which to write the killing game’s drama. Whether Maid is an active or passive class is unknown, but if it’s active it makes sense since she’s using other people for her own gain, and if it’s passive, it could be argued that she’s doing it in service of Team DR or the audience.

Speaking of...

Bonus!

The V3 audience Muse of Space The Land Beyond the 4th Wall

I don’t like assigning Master Classes unless I have a really good reason, and here I think it works. The fans are the epitome of the “wait-and-see” model, and their crime as it were is their general apathy toward the very real subjects of the killing game. They’re all big picture and no important details or nuance. You can’t get much more passive than being an audience member, hence Muse class, yet it’s their desire to recycle the series over and over that leads to the killing game’s very existence (they’re also not too upset about letting the kids’ past lives be sacrificed for this act of creation). The V3 audience is collectively in the real world as opposed to the Medium, hence the “planet” title for them. In the context of an actual Sburb game, they’d likely be Exiles.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, no Rage players in V3. I couldn’t find my notes the other night when I got home, so I just went ahead and reworked all of the classpects from there.

The Aspects were fairly easy to assign, but the Classes really had me scratching my head for a good long while. Maybe it’s because it can recontextualize the Aspect elements depending on what it is, or maybe it’s because we don’t have as much information about how Classes work. 

Anyway, whew, that’s it! Hope you enjoyed!

[drivingsideways]

WIP Wednesday

So @rain-hat​ said I should post a bit from the latest fic so she can read it (properly formatted and not in a chat window, I think??), so here’s a bit from an as yet untitled fic set post-canon verse TKEM, featuring our favourite cop-who-got-a-different-life and also orphan-who-got-a-different-life thanks to Lee Gon being a total ass. 

The White Lily Orphanage isn’t a state organization, instead it’s run by the nuns from the Sisters of the St.Paul of Chartres Convent, one of the earliest established Catholic orders in the Kingdom. It’s not a large home- they have the ability to take in around twenty children at a time, though at the moment they have only half the number. The youngest right now is a three year old ball of sunshine, Jia and the oldest is the lanky fourteen year old Jihun. Hyeon-Min has been attending Mass at the church attached to the convent with eomma since- well, since he was ten.

(God sent Prince Buyeong to us, eomma had said, having found God via the kindness of a stranger, we must be grateful.

Hyeon-min had accepted her explanation then, and now, twenty years later, he doesn’t feel the need to tarnish her faith with his cynicism. He maybe agnostic about God, but he knows that the sisters are kind, that they try to do their best by their young charges, and that’s enough.

He knows enough about the world that he believes that one of its rules should be to pass on the kindness of strangers.)

He parks his bike and grabs his gym bag with the change of clothes, noting a rather beaten up looking sedan in the parking lot. Perhaps there were some potential adopters visiting today, not a very frequent occurrence.

The rates of adoptions in Corea were low, compared to the number of children who needed families. Usually, children who lost their parents were taken in by grandparents, if they were still alive, or the parents’ siblings, if they were not. The ones who ended up in the system- they were truly society’s rejects, the ones who had no one left who cared about them; a patrilineal society obsessed with bloodlines didn’t see them as anything but an inconvenience, or a shameful secret. That their own king was an orphan was not a hypocrisy; Lee Gon was king first, orphan second.

The slack with respect to the less nobly orphaned was picked up by religious or charitable trusts, and only a little by the government. The rules governing adoption were prohibitive- Seo Ryeong had told him about the circles that eomeonim and she had to run to officially take Gyeong-ah into the family. At some point, it had come down to bribery. She’d been tight-lipped and her eyes had glinted in fury, when she’d told him,  though it had already been far enough in the past that Gyeong-ah no longer woke up crying from nightmares, and didn’t stuff her food down at each meal as though she didn’t know when she’d next get one, or try to take as little room as possible in their already tiny apartment.

Gyeong-ah usually accompanies him on these visits too, though she couldn’t make it today.

“LET ME SLEEP” she’d texted in all caps, “I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE FOR AT LEAST 24 HRS HYUNGNIM” .

He figured that meant she’d drop by when he wasn’t around.

 Jia-ya is the first one to spot him when he enters the common room, which is where the kids are normally, at this hour. She runs toward him, almost tripping on her toes, with her hands already raised high above her head. He drops the bag on the floor and swings her up, twirling her around, while she squeals delightedly. When he lowers her, she throws her arms around his neck, placing a candy-sticky kiss on his cheek.

“Hyungnim, where were you??” she demands. “You’ve gone so long that Chia forgot you”.

Chia is her favourite toy- a rather ratty looking cloth panda.

“Sorry Jia-ya” he says, “I had a lot of work”

She pouts. “Have you got chocolate?”

“Mmmhmm” he replies, nodding, “But let’s share with everyone later, ok?”

He puts her down on the floor, and turns to the others who’ve come up, all grinning, except Jihun, who’s trying to look unconcerned, remaining where he’s seated at one of the two computers, headphones in, fingers flying rapidly over the keyboard.

“Hey everyone” he says, reaching out to ruffle a head, tweak a chin. “Ready for a game?”

They’ve got a small basketball court at the back, not professional, by any means, but enough for the kids to work out some of their energy. For soccer, and other games, Gyeong-ah and he take them to a nearby sports club. Ryeong-ah had been the one who worked out a deal with the local residents association that owned the club when she’d made Assemblywoman; it was her constituency after all, and she had cultivated her relationships at local level, as much as she had in the higher echelons. Thanks to (former) Assemblywoman Koo, the kids now had access on alternate Sundays to the club. Luckily, the Sisters of St.Paul of Chartres weren’t too strict about preserving the holiness of the  Sabbath rest; as long as the kids attended Mass in the morning, the rest of the day could be spent as they wished. Today is a Sunday when they don’t have access to the sports club, so Hyeon-Min’s plans are adjusted accordingly- a game, then lunch with everyone, and then piling them all into the small van the orphanage has and taking them for ice cream, before he has to drop back at the station, just to check in on Woo Ji-hyun and Bo-Young who have the day shift today.

“Where’s Sister Lee?” he asks, and twelve-year old Su-bin pipes up “She has a visitor today” and her twin, Yun-seo adds, “He’s a handsome oppa”.

“Is he now?’ Hyeon-min grins down at her.

“Not as cool as you, hyungnim” she assures him earnestly.

“Drop the flattery” he tells her seriously, “You’re not getting an extra scoop later. Everyone go on and get changed.”

The twins and the others- Ming-yu, Jun-ho, Min-su, Seong-min, Min-ji and Eun-ji- dart off.

He picks up his bag again, heading off to the guest room to get changed, calling “Jihun-a, c’mon, let’s go” only to get a shoulder lifted in a shrug, Jihun not even bothering to look at him.

Well, he thought, that was new.

He didn’t press him, confident that Jihun would find his way out later. The problem, perhaps, was that Jihun was a few years older than the others, almost fifteen, ready for high school. The next oldest were the twins, at twelve, and the others fell between nine and eleven, except Jia, who was everybody’s darling at three.

Jihun was preparing to write the same scholarship exam that Hyeon-Min had taken all those years ago, to get into CNA. His grades at the local public school were pretty good, and he excelled especially at art- but it was a tough school to get into, given the sheer number of candidates applying, even more than when Hyeon-Min and Ryeong-ah had given the test.

Hyeon-min thought he could recognize in Jihun the same kind of hunger that he’d seen in Ryeong-ah, all those years ago. And just like all those years ago, one part of him was amazed, and proud; another was just scared for Jihun, for what the world might do to him, outside of the safety of this place. He tried to shrug the fear off- what use could it be to Jihun- and had begun helping him prepare for the test, instead.

Perhaps Jihun was upset because he hadn’t been able to come by for three weeks, although he’d spoken to him a few times on the phone and had checked in with Sister Lee as well.

When he changes into his shorts and t-shirt and comes back to check in, Jihun’s disappeared. Perhaps he’d changed his mind and decided to join the game, after all.

He’s about to duck out of the room, when Sister Lee comes in accompanied by a young man- the “handsome oppa” of Yun-seo’s description, clearly.

“Ah, Inspector Kang” she says, giving him her usual warm smile. “Good morning. You finally have a day off, I see.”

“Good morning, Sister Lee” he greets her, bowing.

She turns to the man with her.

“This is Senior Inspector Kang Hyeon-min from Busan PD” she says, and the man gives him a strangely assessing look, and bows. He’s fair, slightly shorter than Hyeon-Min, a dark eyes and a sharp nose in a square-jawed face. The glasses and the clothes- a light blue button down shirt that’s unbuttoned at the collar over khaki slacks,  give him the look of a librarian on vacation. He’s probably a few years younger than Hyeon-Min.

“I’m Kim Jun-Yeong” he says, bowing toward Hyeon-Min.

“Mr.Kim teaches art at the school” she says, meaning the local public school all the kids here attend. “He came by to talk about Jihun.”

“Is something the matter?” Hyeon-min asks, immediately. “Is Jihun in trouble?”

“Nothing like that” Mr.Kim says, with a smile. “In fact, I came by to chat with Sister Lee about Jihun’s future plans. He told me that he was preparing for admission at CNA.”

Hyeon-Min nods. “I’m trying to help out” he says. “When I can.”

“Inspector Kang has been a huge support to the children here for years” Sister Lee says, giving him another warm smile. “And since he’s a CNA alumnus himself, he’s probably the best suited to help Jihun ace the exam.”

“Yes, of course”, Mr.Kim says, adding, “Jihun-a has told me a lot about you already, Senior Inspector Kang.”

“Oh” says Hyeon-Min, politely, “He’s never mentioned you to me.”

Something wry passes over Mr. Kim’s face at that, and it makes Hyeon-min feel a little silly.

“Mr. Kim is of the opinion that Jihun should perhaps try for an art school later” Sister Lee says, “And finish high school at some school less demanding than CNA, Kang-ssi”.

“Did Jihun-a say that’s what he wants to do?” Hyeon-min asks, stunned. Jihun had never mentioned it to him.

There’s an awkward silence.

“He did seem open to the idea” Mr.Kim says, sounding a little apologetic. “He started asking me about art schools and scholarships a while ago. I didn’t know then that you were already preparing him for the CNA entrance.”

‘But” says Hyeon-min, feeling like the rug had been pulled from under his feet.

Sister Lee says, thoughtfully, “Perhaps he was uncomfortable bringing it up with me or you, Kang-ssi.”

“We never forced him”, Hyeon-min feels compelled to protest.

“Jihun-a admires you a lot, Kang-ssi” Mr.Kim murmurs, “It is but natural he would want to follow in your footsteps.”

Hyeon-min looks at him and meets that calmly assessing look again.

“Did he ask you to meet Sister Lee and talk about this?”

“No” says Mr.Kim, “He didn’t. In fact, I think he was a little upset when he saw me today.”

Well, that explained earlier, Hyeon-Min realizes.

“Will you—” starts Sister Lee, nodding toward back, from where they can already here the shouts of the children.

“Yes” Hyeon-Min answers. “I’ll have a chat with him.”

“Good” she says, smiling again at him. “I’ll talk to him later as well.”

She turns to the teacher.

“Mr.Kim, I really appreciate your dropping by. It’s not often we get teachers who are so concerned with the well-being of our students.”

Mr.Kim says, quietly, “I was brought up in a home too- not as good as this one” he adds. “I know what it’s like.”

Oh.

Well, now, Hyeon-Min feels like a total piece of shit.

“Thank you, Kim-ssi” he says, and tries to infuse it with something more than stiff formality.

Mr.Kim gives him a short nod.

“I’d better head over before the fighting starts” Hyeon-min says, giving Sister Lee a smile. “I’ll see you at lunch, Sister Lee.”

They part ways, and when Hyeon-min reaches the court just in time to stop Min-ji from punching Eun-ji in the face, he sees that Jihun is there as well, but sitting on the side-lines, playing with Jia, although he’s changed into game clothes as well.

He darts a glance at Hyeon-min and then quickly looks away, flushing.

Hyeon-min jogs up to him.

“Get in” he says, clapping him on the back, “So I don’t have to keep the peace all by myself”

Jihun looks up at him, uncertain, as though he’d expected Hyeon-min to be- angry- with him.

“Jihun-a” he says, holding out a hand toward him, “ C’mon.”

Jihun takes his hand and lets himself be hauled up, and Hyeon-min even manages to get a one-armed hug in before he scampers off, suddenly cheerful.

 It’s a good game, and after, as they’re all chattering at the lunch table, Gyeong-ah comes in and plonks herself down opposite the twins, and they stuff themselves to the gills before piling into the van.

Gyeong-ah’s driving, and as they pull out of the gate, Hyeon-min notices a black Hummer parked in the alley, five cars away,  the glasses shaded so dark, he can’t see inside.

He has an idle moment of wondering what a car like that was doing in the neighbourhood but is distracted by Jia-ya climbing into his lap to tell him all about Chia’s adventures in the place she calls “Funderland” (like Wonderland, but fun, she insists).

 On the way back, Gyeong-ah drives again, and this time the kids are mostly in a food coma, some of them burping softly, sprawling on the seats, so he gets a chance to talk to Jihun, settling beside him, right at the back.

“So” he says, “art school, huh?”

Jihun glances at him quickly and then away, head bent.

“Do you know which ones you’re interested in?”

Jihun looks up then.

“You’re not angry?” he asks, uncertainty writ large on his young face.

“Just surprised” Hyeon-min admits. “Why didn’t you ever tell me or Sister Lee? You know we wouldn’t have stopped you.”

He shrugs, looking away.

“Everyone’s expecting me to become the first CNA graduate from the home” he says, softly. “All these years”.

“Nobody wants you to be anything other than happy, Jihun-a” Hyeon-min contradicts him, gently. “I’m sorry if I ever gave you any other idea.”

Jihun turns to him.

“I did think I wanted that too” he says, candidly. “But then—I don’t know, hyungnim, frankly, it sounds like an awful place in other ways.”

“Who’ve you been talking to?” Hyeon-min asks, surprised, because he’d never said anything to Jihun about it other than good things about the academics, and the opportunities it would open up for him.

Jihun gives him a pitying look.

“Hyungnim” he says, “You know the internet is a thing right? Or was it not a thing when you were young?”

“Hey” he says, “I’m thirty-one, not a dinosaur.”

Jihun looks unconvinced.

“Student forums” he says, helpfully. “And even Mr.Kim—”

“Mr.Kim went to CNA?” Hyeon-min asks, surprised again.

“No” says Jihun, “But I think he knows people. He’s a teacher, right, he knows this stuff.”

“Hmm” says Hyeon-min, miffed.

Jihun eyes him again. “Are you angry I didn’t tell you, but I told Mr.Kim?”

Wow, Hyeon-min thinks, dissected by a fourteen-year old, wonderful.

“Don’t give me your backchat, Jihun-a” he says, and Jihun grins at him.

Hyeon-min diverts the talk into the art schools he’s interested in, and they spend the rest of the ride like that.

 Later, before Gyeong-ah and he head off, they have a talk with Sister Lee.

Sister Lee Jeong-hui- or “Dragon Lady” as Gyeong-ah liked to call her- was a petite woman with delicate wrists, and long fingered hands that poked out of the sleeves of her habit. Unlike most of her contemporaries, she’d joined the Order, not as a young girl, but in her mid-thirties, after making a name for herself as a labour rights lawyer, working up north, in the mining communities. She’d moved to Busan when her health took a downturn- her asthma was something terrible- and she’d been shunted around the diocese until ending up at the orphanage ten years ago. She’d taken one look at the lackadaisical administration of the Orphanage- then run by Sister Pa, who was already in her seventies, taken a deep breath, and got to work. She’d transformed the place, scrounging funding wherever she could- sometimes by just persistently annoying the powers that be- and was currently in a long drawn out battle with the Bishop of the Diocese over her demand that they expand their current home to start a support home for single mothers- the people most likely to abandon their children, for lack of resources and societal stigma.

They talk about her latest efforts in that direction, after Hyeon-min tells her about his conversation with Jihun.

“Thank you Inspector Kang” she says, softly, “I hope you’re not too disappointed.”

“Of course not” he says, staunchly, though perhaps he was, a little. “Jihun’s going to be great at whatever he does.”

“Yes” she agrees, a fond smile transforming her rather grave face into loveliness. “He’s a blessed child”.

“Anyway” she says, sighing, “Perhaps it’s just as well. Even with a scholarship, funding for other expenses would have always been a tension. This way, we have some time to prepare before he goes to art school.”

Gyeong-ah says, “What did the Welfare Association say?”

When the Diocese had hummed-and-hawed about the home for women, Sister Lee had turned elsewhere.

Sister Lee makes a rather un-saintly face. “That government policy doesn’t include- and you won’t believe this, or perhaps you will- doesn’t include subsidizing and rewarding irresponsible behaviour”.

“I thought Ryeong-ah said they had a specific budget for women’s welfare” Gyeong-ah says, hotly. “They can’t deny it only to some women, can they? Plus it’s a discretionary budget.”

Sister Lee sighs. “Child, I don’t know if I have the energy to fight that battle right now. If we had someone on the Committee there- but it’s all bureaucrats who think of it as a sinecure position really…”

She shrugs, and pats Gyeong-ah’s shoulder, comforting.

“I’m not giving up, Seo-Gyeong” she says, “Not yet.”

They bid her goodbye.

 As she puts on her helmet and climbs onto the bike, Gyeong-ah says, abruptly, “Sometimes I’m so angry with unnie for what she did- because she fucked up her chance to help people like Sister Lee, who really need her”.

“ Song & Kim will get her out” he says, “Right?”

“But what about after?” she argues, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Her political career is probably over.”

“It’s never over with Ryeong-ah” he reminds her, belting his own helmet, and adjusting the strap of his gym bag over his jacket.

As they drive out of the gate, he sees that the Hummer isn’t there anymore.

[avrelia]

The Rise of Kyoshi review

The Rise of Kyoshi  by F.C. Yee

As any tie-in novel The Rise of Kyoshi is basically a fanfiction. I am not sure whether a person unfamiliar with the series Avatar the Last Airbender and the Legend of Korra would enjoy it. But it’s a really good book, and I, as a fan enjoyed it very much.

Beside the story itself, there is a wealth of information about the world of Avatar, some confirming what fans were discussing, some new and unexpected, there are some easter eggs – hints and in-jokes that makes one smile.

The story obviously concerns Avatar Kyoshi and her becoming the Avatar we know and love. She is sixteen, she is… not who you expect. She has her friends, enemies, people who want to use her for their ends, as usual.

Her physical attributes became meaningful in her character development. She is a very tall girl, who is used to “minimize herself” to fit in. At the end of the novel she stands proudly in her full height and more, having stopped denying any part of herself.

Her fans and headdress and face paint all get a role to play as well.

Kyoshi’s bisexuality is definitely confirmed as well.

I loved the description of bending in the book – that’s something we never got before, not in any official way, because of the visual medium, but I am glad the author gave it a lot of thought and it ended up perfect - especially earthbending since it’s the first element for Kyoshi and we got more eathbending characters each one with their own style, that fire, air and waterbenders.

Overall, it had a lot more in common in tone with The Legend of Korra, with a lot of Earth Kingdom politics being a large part of the story and older heroine, but the themes circle back to some important themes of The Last Airbender about the duties of the Avatar and their role in the world.

After all, the most important thing Kyoshi had to say to Aang was “Only justice will bring piece.” How did she get there? Well, but the end of the book she didn’t. But there will be the second one in a year, and I already can’t wait.

Bits of information about the story and the world that might be spoilery are under the cut.

1) Avatar Yangchen is highly respected and admired throughout the world. She was a wise leader and a politician, as well as great bender. She is still fresh in people’s memory, also because

2) Avatar Kuruk was a lovable idiot who died at 33. He was a good hunter, great bender, great at pai sho and arts and making love. Bad at actually being useful to the world. His words that the world was doing fine were only his opinion.

3) However, after his death things turned even worse – no end-of-the-world level disasters, just regular human mess.

4) the new Avatar wasn’t found for a very long time.

5) Kuruk had his own merry band of friends/bending masters he traveled the world together. In fact, it was basically a tradition for Avatar to do so.

6) Kyoshi’s parents are basically Jinora and Kai gone the other way. Airbending master in love with petty thief.

7) Royal Fire Academy for Girls is basically a girls’ military academy more than 400 years before Azula’s time there. And I feel very proud that it was my head canon all along (have a fic to prove it!). They study survival, military tactics, how to invade foreign cities (just in case, you know). They even studied a plan for invasion of Ba Sing Se.

8) Honor! Is totally a big thing in Fire Nation, and other nations roll their eyes at it. Also discipline and respect. Agni Kais are often deadly. Top knots are sacred. Uniforms are spiky.

9) Turtleduck ponds are in fashion after Fire Palace got one.

10) Air Nomads is a nation of monks and nun, so spiritual that all of them are airbenders. Though airbending tend to get weaker if the person abandons the ideals. Actual people are quite far away from ideals. Killing people – even accidentally or in defense is a very serious matter and the airbender who did it – even if they saved a bunch of innocents by doing it is forever disgraced.

11) Guru Lachima is mentioned.

12) We get a recipe for immortality that actually makes total sense.

13) White Lotus is hinted.

14) Most action happens in places we are at least somewhat familiar from the shows, but still I’d love to have a map included.

15) Kyoshi is awesome complicated young woman.

[femalechibiblogger]

Assistant-kun Character Bio (Magical Sempai)

Age: 15-16

Occupation: High School Student

Family: Unnamed Parents

Likes: Sempai, playing video games, large breasts, a stuffed toy named Behemoth, melon bread, curry with rice, chemistry looking like magic tricks, protecting Sempai from being hurt or humiliated. 

Dislikes: Sempai’s clumsiness, being forced into doing magic tricks, Sempai tricking him, being teased by other girls, Sempai being hurt, other people making fun of Sempai. 

Voice Actor: Aoi Ichikawa (Japanese); Landon MacDonald (English)

Description

Assistant-kun is the main male protagonist of Magical Sempai. After coming to a new school, where joining a club is mandatory, Assistant comes across the Magic Club and ends up being forced into joining by the club’s leader: Sempai. Though he does not like magic, he ends up being better at it than Sempai. His real name is never mentioned and is always called ‘Assistant-kun’.

Personality

Assistant is a normal, teenage boy who didn’t really care about which club he joined...as long as he could play video games. After he accidentally saw Sempai, the President of the Magic Club, perform magic tricks alone...she forced him into joining but was not thrilled about it. Assistant can become frustrated if someone teases or tricks him, and has limited patience when it comes to Sempai’s magic tricks and peoples’ teasing. He wishes to be seen as normal and live a normal, high school life...but Sempai often gets in the way of that. He will often scold Sempai if she horribly messes up a trick, or if she goes too far with her trying to get him to perform magic with her. 

Nevertheless, Assistant does have a soft side. He sees Sempai as a chipmunk or naive child, and often worries about her getting into trouble. He has a bit of a maternal instinct in certain situations, and is shown to get along well with small children. He tries to discipline the more immature club members, much like a father discipling his children. He also has a fondness for cute things, such as Sempai’s stuffed animal: Behemoth. 

Assistant is shown to have a normal attraction to girls...especially Sempai. Whenever Sempai is in a lewd situation, he becomes excited and flustered. He is shown to have an interest in bondage...but his interest in it only goes as far as Sempai being tied up. Though despite his perverted interests, he never actually acts upon them and will feel guilty about having such thoughts. He doesn’t want Sempai, or any other girl, to do something indecent in public and be humiliated for it. Sometimes, Assistant denies that he has feelings for Sempai...much like a tsundere. He can definitely be described as being a male tsundere from time to time.

Despite not being interested in magic, and often being forced into it, Assistant will end up helping Sempai or the other members into performing magic tricks. He is surprisingly good at magic and other tricks. For example: He is successful at hypnosis, he can create better illusions, and he can read people like a mentalist. Assistant has also shown interest in chemistry, and sometimes thinks of how Sempai could use chemistry for magic tricks. 

Relationships

Sempai: Sempai is a 3rd year student and the President of the Magic Club. Sempai is an airhead who is obsessed with magic, and forces Assistant to join her club. Sempai is greatly determined to make Assistant a member of her club, even if she has to use force (which she usually does). Sempai tries to teach Assistant magic, but he always proves to be better at magic than her, ehich makes her jealous but also fascinated. Because she is an airhead, Sempai is unaware that she unintentionally acts lewd around Assistant...though there are moments where she does notice and becomes very embarrassed because of it. Assistant is attracted to Sempai, but he often tries to deny it. He doesn’t want to hurt Sempai or make her hate him. He makes sure that she doesn’t accidentally hurt herself while performing a magic trick. For example: He stopped her from trying to escape from being chained up while underwater...afraid that she would drown. It has been hinted that Sempai may have feelings for Assistant. For example: She was jealous when Assistant seemed to be having fun with the President of the Chemistry Club: Madara. She has also hinted that she wouldn’t mind dating him, further proving that she may hold romantic feelings for him but doesn’t realize it herself. Like Assistant, her real name is never mentioned, as many people just call her ‘Sempai’. 

Saki: Saki is a member of the Magic Club. She is a third year who dresses and acts like a gyaru. Saki loves to tease other people, especially Sempai and Assistant, and also acts perverted around them on purpose. Saki is obssessed with her younger brother, Ma-kun, who is one or two years younger than her. Saki is an expert in balloon art, and is able to perform tricks involving balloons and make balloon animals. Saki originally wanted to hijack the Magic Club and turn it into a ‘Street Performance Club’...but she and Ma-kun ended up joining the club instead. Like Sempai, Saki can be a bit clumsy when performing...but she is not as big of an airhead as her, and is actually more successful with her balloon tricks. Saki’s obsession with Ma-kun creeps out Assistant, but the two of them are able to understand each other...because they both have to deal with Sempai’s ditziness. 

Ma-kun: Ma-kun is Saki’s younger brother and a member of the Magic Club. Much to everyone’s surprise, Ma-kuni is a chubby guy...since Assistant originally pictured him being muscular and egotistical. Unlike his sister, Ma-kun is more serious and less perverted than her. He has a normal interest in girls, and is creeped out by his sister’s obsession with...as he prefers her to keep her distant. Assistant often feels sorry for Ma-kun having to deal with Saki’s clinginess towards him. Despite this, Ma-kun does care a lot for Saki...as he is afraid that she will embarrass herself in public while performing. Like Saki, Ma-kun performs balloon tricks...mostly making balloon animals. Ma-kun is more interested in psychology than magic. Both Ma-kun and Assistant are the more level-headed members of the club.

Madara: Madara is the President of the Chemistry Club. Unlike Sempai, Madara does not like magic, as it defies all science. She is very passionate about science and chemistry, and becomes mad if anyone compares chemistry to magic. Despite claiming to hate magic, Madara allows the Magic Club to be in the Chemistry Club storeroom, and often looks out for the members like a sister. Assistant joined her club only in name, since the Magic Club was not an official club yet. Assistant is fascinated by her knowledge of chemistry, which makes her feel very happy. The two of them get along very well, and it has been hinted that Madara may hold feelings for Assistant. She becomes easily flustered around him.

Sempai’s Sister: Sister is Sempai’s older sister and Assistant’s homeroom teacher. Sister loves to tease Sempai to the point where Sempai denies that they are sisters. She knows about Sempai’s love for magic, and loves to have her wear cosplay outfits for her performances. Sister makes herself the advisor for the Magic Club, and pops in every once-in-a-while. Sister may know about Assistants attraction towards Sempai, which she uses to tease him. It is revealed that she is married when Sempai and Sister’s husband go shopping for a birthday present. Like Sempai and Assistant, her real name is unknown.

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[rosykims]

5 + 10 for emeraude, 14 + 18 for effie, 19 + 24 for arylene and 30 through 45 for imogen bc i love her so much ? 😏😏😏

fdjkfjkfdk thank u SO much maia i absolutely Treasure You !

EMERAUDE HAWKE - DA2

What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

emeraudes fashion sense is probably my favourite out of all my ocs, so uh if u havent looked at her pinterest board yet u should do that bc its Very cute hehehe

anyway for the most part she sticks to dark, practical clothing whenever she's out and about in kirkwall or doing merc work, etc. she picks clothes that convey strength and power, but she likes having a little bit of colour somewhere on the piece, just to keep things interesting. she's not much of an embroider, but was a good way to keep herself distracted during hard times, so she tends to add little patterns here and there whenever she gets the chance!

as for special occasions, for her this would actually just be. a quiet night at home or a relaxed gathering with her friends. bc its so rare for her to have that lmao. anyway for events like that she usually wears light colours and soft fabrics, simple but always decorated with flowers or colourful patterns.

What does your OC keep in a special drawer?

she has a collection of gifts ! that kids from lowtown would give her over the years she spent in kirkwall. she's a very community based person and wants to do right for her city, and shes very nurturing (in an ironical, Cool Big Sister way) so she likes making sure all the kids are safe and being looked after. she gets a lot of trinkets and strange gifts from some of the kids as a result, but she does treasure them (even if she laughs about it with her friends) and keeps them all !

EFFIE RYDER - MEA

Who is the mother and/or father figure in your OC’s life?

effie's maternal rolemodel has always been her late mother, ellen. nobody could really fill that role in her eyes, since they had such a close, positive relationship before she passed. her relationship with her dad was a lot more strained and it really impacted a lot of her relationships later on in life too ! she tends to.... see an older man who is Vaguely Nice to her, and then think “ oh, youre my dad now?” which isnt fair to anybody obviously but yeah she,,,, has a lot of unresolved issues regarding alec and tends to unintentionally project so. We stan !

How many times did your OC move as a child? Which area was his/her favorite?

oh constantly lol. With her dad being an n7 and her mother working so hard on her research, they tended to move around wherever her parents work required. she actually enjoyed it this way. she was never good at making long term friends, but she lived meeting new people, and obviously with the move she got to experience a lot of different cultures which really put the idea of adventuring and travelling in her head at a young age.

ARYLENE TORR - TES IV

What does your OC think of children- either in general or about having them?

she likes them ! she tends to keep her distance with most communities and groups of people in particular, but she does like enjoys having the odd conversation with the odd street urchin here and there, either sharing with them some strange, ridiculous life advice or – if shes feeling particularly chaotic – telling them the scariest stories she can think of. as for having them, arylene isnt AGAINST the idea, but she has far too much for the foreseeable future for that to ever be a good idea

Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates?

outwardly, arylene is an almost unbearably easy going person, so you would assume she doesnt hate anyone lol. but she does DEEEPLY dislike cults and groups of ignorant people who are arrogant enough to start messing with the balance of life, or making deals with gods, etc. she believes that people like that can do an unbelievable amount of damage, so she invests a lot of time and effort it sabotaging any group or plot she happens to find !

 IMOGEN FOSTER - RDR2

Did your OC participate in extracurricular activities, and if so, what were they?

hmm idk if this even EXISTED in 19th century london lol, but she would have done some very tame version of girl scouts as a child! She barely remembers any of it, but she liked the classes on what plants did what, which were safe to eat, and the likes. its something that helps her a lot when on the run with the gang, and something shes always had a personal interest in, as a nurse !

other than that, she’s done a lot of independent study on history, classical literature, and she speaks fluent italian we stan !

What is your OC’s opinion of school? What kind of student was s/he?

imogen comes from a very wealthy aristocratic family, so she was very fortunate that her privilege afforded her the education she got at the time. she is VERY grateful to have attended the schools she did, and she made sure to make the most of it, paying attention in class and studying harder than most of her classmates. she's a smart girl with a very active mind, so knowledge is something she can't get enough of. she was actually petitioning the board of education to allow her to attend university before she left for america – already their had been women accepted into universities at that time, but obviously it was still a very scandalous thing lol, especially since imogen wanted to study medicine.

What subjects did your OC excel at?

imogen is a HUGE overachiever and did pretty well at basically everything from science, mathematics, language studies and later on, in her studies as a nurse. i can tell you what shes bad at though lmao

anything physical really dkdkdks she is TERRIBLE at horse-riding since she usually just went by carriage everywhere in the city. art and poetry and writing in general she was never great at, because she's a pretty logical person and was told she never put enough emotion in her work lol !!! sports...obviously was very limited anyway as growing up in like? the early 1870s lol. and as for the traditionally feminine lessons in like ?? sewing and cooking and stuff well ! she was very average at them which made her  feel worse than if she was actually bad bc she's so used to excelling and making a name for herself oof

What subjects interested your OC?

Imogen loves greek literature and mythology !! the iliad is her favourite book and she keeps her heavily annotated, dog eared copy – a gift from her late father – on her person almost constantly. needless to say its why dutch admires her as much as he does lol.

obviously, as a nurse-trying-to-be-a-doctor, she has a great love for medicine in all its forms. she's always been fascinated in natural remedies, and even moreso when she's running with the van der linde gang and is really relying on the land to survive.

What is your OC’s dream job and/or current profession?

hmm okay so. Technically she's a nurse – she worked in her father's hospital for almost 10 years prior to his death, and she was sort of his unofficial understudy, as in she knows a LOT more than her job description requires lol. but after her father past away, another, less progressive man took his place as chief of surgery and made a lot of changes to the way the hospital operated, and imogen was let go. she and her mother were fighting against it, however, under the ground of unfair dismissal, but obviously given the time period it didnt get them very far. so ! i mean technically she's unemployed rn. but she still has dreams of being a doctor, or at least continuing her career in medicine.

How is your OC working towards their dream job and/or achieved their current profession?

Oh VERY direct action up until she got disheartened and chose to take her sabbatical. she had been working in her role for nearly a decade, and was very obviously one of the most experienced nurses there. even younger doctors would sometimes ask her for her medical opinion dksksks anyway what i am saying is Brain Very Good. she had been fighting to gain admission into a university – any, she wasnt picky – to study medicine officially, but it didnt get very far and she put it on hold after her father got sick. after he died and she was laid off, she fought even harder against the city to reinstate her title, and continues to fight after she returns from america a year or so later.

What are your OC’s thoughts/opinions of his/her current profession?

helping people is her entire life, and she wouldn't know what to do without it. she loves being a nurse enough to fight to be a doctor, but also in BEING a nurse, she is hyperaware of all the things current medical standards seem to get wrong, and she has a lot of ideas about how else to go about things. her father, a shockingly progressive and worldly man for the time period, shared her sentiment, but he wasn't able to make the changes he wanted to before he passed, so imogen hopes she can be the change herself, and make her father proud

What is your OC’s biggest dream?

being a licenced doctor, babey ! preferably at her father's hospital, but at the point she will take what she can get.

How does your OC react to and handle stress?

imogen  handles stress very well , which is partially why she makes such a good medic, and also how she managed to survive the first week of being with the van der linde gang lmao. she is very good at shutting out EVERY distraction when things get dicey, and her brain tends to move at a million miles an hour. all traces of english etiquette and politeness go out the window, though, so you'll usually catch her barking orders at people, and yelling at anyone who prevents her from doing the work she needs to do. it.....is a big wake up call for people like dutch and micah, and gets her into a LOT of trouble on multiple occasions.

How does your OC handle anger?

ooo......not great. she’s grown up with parents who maybe encouraged her to speak her mind a bit....TOO much given the historical circumstances lol. she really doesn’t stand for ignorance or prejudices in any capacity, and if she has a problem with someone and it gets in the way of her trying to do her work or help others - she will ABSOLUTELY be having words. she also overestimates her own strength quite a lot. she’s tried to throw hands with micah MANY times, often forgetting she’s this tiny 70kg englishwoman and he’s .... Him sdjkdcjkf. she has a big mouth too so she often says snide remarks without even meaning too, which tends to get her in trouble as well. on the bright side, it also helps her fit in with the gang quite well, because for the most part they all appreciate how wild she is lmao

How does your OC handle grief?

hmm i guess it depends on what you would class as “well”? she doesnt cry very often - being stoic and handling your emotions is important when your a nurse - but she does tend to shove her feelings down far longer than she should, and tries to pretend they don’t exist by simply focusing on other things. she also blames herself when a lot of things go wrong, because she’s a perfectionist and wants to FIX everything, so when she finds something - or someone - she can’t save, it feels like a personal failure. like she let them down :(

What is your OC’s greatest fear?

probably being trapped in an unhappy, unfulfilling marriage with someone who undervalues her. she’s not much of a homebody and doesn’t have too much of an interest in being married, but the idea of feeling FORCED to marry someone in order to have a decent quality of life makes her blood run cold oof

What makes your OC happy?

helping people ! meeting new folks ! learning about other cultures and ways of life! learning about NEW THINGS in general ! proving people wrong ! insulting micah !

as tough and high-and-mighty as she sometimes seems, she’s a pretty easy person to please, honestly. treat her with respect, give her space to do the things she wants to do, and don’t get in the way of her opportunities to learn new things, and she’s mostly very happy !

What kind of sense of humor does your OC have?

she has a fairly macabre and sardonic sense of humour, something she picked up from her mother. she says a lot of Shocking things for the time period, and she’s not shy of dirty jokes either. the first time sean heard her, a soft, well spoken english Lady, make some filthy, crude joke, he nearly had a stroke right there on the spot kjkjkfdjkf

What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

senseless violence, suffering or cruelty. she really hated the gang at first and hoped to escape the first chance she got, because all she could see was the crime and disregard for human life she assumed they all held. fortunately, as she got to know them, she realized this wasn’t exactly the case, but she still has a lot of anger in her heart for a few key members of the gang who seem to enjoy bloodshed more than anything. she also hates any form of social prejudice, and people who gatekeep knowledge and opportunities from others.

What are some things that annoy your OC?

i guess all of the above, but she also dislikes misplaced arrogance, and people who talk down to others. she tolerates dutch, but often gets frustrated with the way he speaks, using as many big words as he can to manipulate and confuse others. she believes that really intelligence doesn’t require obscure jargon and big, fancy words - she likes keeping things simple, so everybody can follow along.

[love-takes-work]

Steven Universe Podcast: Volume 2, Episode 5: Connie

In the second season of the Steven Universe Podcast, episode 5, released February 22, 2018, is about Connie! The official description:

We're spotlighting Steven Universe's best-friend, Connie, on the Steven Universe Podcast! Grace Rolek, who voices Connie, and Zach Callison, the voice of Steven, talk about their characters' friendship, and recent struggles on the series. And creator Rebecca Sugar and former EP Ian Jones-Quartey explain Connie's sword, her relationship with the Gems, and the yin & yang that dictate Connie and Steven's respective designs and personalities. Plus, Connie drops in to talk about school, Stevonnie, and her fabulous new haircut!

As per usual, the podcast is on the long side, so I'll open with bulleted highlights and include a more detailed narrative under the cut.

Highlights:

Connie has been planned as a character since the beginning; drawings of her are included in Rebecca's original sketchbook.

Connie is designed as a foil for Steven, with each of them possessing traits the other lacks so they can fit together smoothly.

Associating Rose's sword with Connie early on was a deliberate decision; they always wanted her to be the sword of the relationship, complement to Steven's shield.

The Gems treat Connie better than any other human and respect her as a member of the team.

The Gems talk to Connie's parents outside what we see on the show; they've been communicating with the Maheswarans a lot more since Connie decided to be upfront with them about her involvement with Steven.

The Cool Kids are partially based on Rebecca's college experiences when she joined a band. She was pseudonymously known as Rebecca Murder.

Lapis and Peridot making art in the barn was based on Rebecca's band member friends using a barn for their art.

Nanefua as Dewey's opponent was planned very early too. They always made sure to include her as a critical voice in the crowd when the town was gathering to react to his speeches.

The boardie character who's designed to look like Ian Jones-Quartey was originally going to be a pizza merchant named Everett, but they went from having a Pizza Man based on him to having a Pizza Family based on Ian's family. 

There was also a boardie named Baby originally, and some ideas associated with him got rolled into Fryman family characters, especially Ronaldo.

Ian Jones-Quartey says if you are a fan of Steven Universe and you haven't read the book Keep Beach City Weird, you're doing yourself a disservice.

Grace Rolek and Zach Callison both felt that the Connie/Steven angst from "Dewey Wins" to "Kevin Party" carried an authentic sense of what it's like to have relationship drama. Both invoked their own breakups which were reminiscent of some aspects of those interactions.

Grace and Zach are pleased to be past their "teenage angst" phase now that they're both twenty. They’re glad to have just regular angst now.

Grace thinks Connie cut her hair to help move past the need to define herself entirely through her relationship with Steven; she needed a change and some definition as her own person.

Grace, in character as Connie, says her favorite subject in school is science so she might study gems when she grows up, she'd love to go on another adventure with the Crystal Temps as long as she doesn't have to imitate Steven, and being in a Fusion is weird but awesome--and she'd be Stevonnie's left arm because she's left-handed.

Next week: Lapis!

The detailed summary, including Rebecca and Ian discussing Connie’s characteristics and character design; discussions of early boardie character concepts; Grace and Zach discussing Connie's relationship with Steven and recent developments; and fan questions answered in character . . .

Read it all below!

Rebecca Sugar and Ian Jones-Quartey:

McKenzie begins by presenting a discussion of Connie and the humans of Beach City, also known as the boardies. Ian opens with a complaint that the term "boardies" doesn't seem to be catching on with fans even though they've been termed that in the show. He doesn't know why some fans like to call them "townies."

McKenzie asks how early Connie was conceived for the show, and both guests say she has been part of the show since the beginning. When McKenzie asks whether Connie was always intended to eventually join Steven's battles as a participant, Ian says they had always intended a group of humans to have various relationships with the Gems--either on the outskirts as background characters, as interested parties, or as participants in their activities. These ideas for different characters were distilled into one in many cases, and Connie absorbed a bunch of their intentions for heavily involved human characters.

Rebecca says Connie's character design was intentionally a complement to Steven's, right down to their faces fitting together like puzzle pieces. Connie is reasonable and down to earth, while Steven is whimsical and magical, with both of them being attracted to what the other represents.

Together, Connie and Steven make the "ultimate person," which is why Stevonnie works so well as a wielder of the sword and shield. Associating Connie with the sword very early on was intentional; way back in "Lion 2: The Movie," Rose's sword's first appearance was deliberately done during a Connie episode so she could be there to help Steven use it against the Robot Shooty Thing.

McKenzie prompts Ian and Rebecca to discuss Connie's relationship with the other Gems besides Steven. Rebecca immediately brings up one of the first times all of them interact with her, in the beginning of "Lion 2: The Movie" when they warp in standing in cool poses. (That was a Jeff Liu drawing.) They really wanted to help Steven have a friend, enhancing his cool life to draw Connie in, even if they're not completely sure how to do that. Ian says they actually treat Connie better than they treat any other human. She's a full-on member of the team as Steven's best friend, fusion partner, and dedicated combatant, so she gets special treatment.

Rebecca comments that since Connie opened up to her parents about her role on the team, the Gems have actually been in more communication with Connie's parents about it, which we don't see onscreen because the perspective of the show is tied to Steven. Rebecca and Ian say it's implied pretty strongly in "Gem Hunt" that Pearl knows Connie's parents' rules. Ian thinks the conversations between Pearl and Priyanka would be "pretty boring." And Garnet, as shown in "Mindful Education," now respects Connie, Steven, and Stevonnie (each as their own person) in a more mature, "equal" way than she used to when it was more about just protecting them.

McKenzie brings up changes with the other boardies (naming Mayor Dewey and Lars and Sadie), asking Ian and Rebecca to comment on why they decided to introduce so many changes to their lives. Sadie was shown in "Sadie's Song" wanting to make changes in her life, and now in the latest episodes she's evolving to find out who she is without Lars to rely on. She thought no one really wanted to be friends with her, but although she had Lars around, she was discontent with who she was and thought nobody who was actually cool would accept her. 

The Cool Kids are said to genuinely like Lars. Sadie's experience in the band with them is based partially on Rebecca joining a band in college. They called her "Rebecca Murder." And after Rebecca left to work on her animation career, those band members began making art in a barn, inspiring what Peridot and Lapis did there.

Ian says Mayor Dewey's loss to Nanefua as mayor was planned early too; they always made sure to stick Nanefua into crowd scenes where Dewey was getting criticized. Rebecca reminds us that Nanefua is based on Ian's grandmother. 

And Ian brings up the voiceless character that's supposed to be him on the show--that he keeps getting prominently drawn in the crowd ever since he left the show. He was originally a pizza man they think was named Everett, but that idea blossomed into the Pizza family based largely on Ian's family members. 

They also discuss another character that didn't get used--a scooter-riding character named Baby who threw cans of soda at people. (??) They think he kind of thought of himself as an action hero but may have morphed into the Fryman family. (Ronaldo got some of his traits, as he's interested in the Gems.) The Keep Beach City Weird book comes up and Ian says you should read it if you're a fan of the show. (McKenzie admits that she hasn't read it. Author’s note: It’s great, I reviewed it.) They bring up the blog that the writers would use for extra-canon material, expertly timing posts to line up with the show's airing of related episodes. (Koala Princess was first mentioned on Ronaldo's blog and later was incorporated into the show.) McKenzie wishes she could know more about the concept characters like Baby.

Grace Rolek and Zach Callison:

In the wake of so many changes--Dewey stepping down, Sadie quitting the Big Donut, Lapis leaving--McKenzie prompts Grace to comment. Grace thinks there's a huge shift happening; unlike most cartoons where most elements stay the same, Beach City is moving on to a new era. (Zach starts singing a line from a Hamilton song: "The world will never be the same!") Zach thinks even though Steven and Connie have reconciled, there's still the unsolved murder mystery and there's no going back to the status quo. McKenzie thinks it's huge that Sadie left her job, considering the literal first scene of the show is Steven inside the Big Donut with her comforting him about Cookie Cats. (Grace also quotes Hamilton, saying "The world's turned upside down.")

When McKenzie asks Grace to discuss how she can bring authenticity to the story as it's changing, she says she's changed a lot herself from age 15 to age 20 on the show, so she's gotten life experience as the characters have and can relate more readily. She can pulled from her own experiences with, say, breakups, to filter those emotions into giving voice to Connie in her struggles with Steven. Zach comments that Grace was not there during his recording for "Kevin Party," and he remembers having a personal emotional reaction in response to the dialogue. (He later returns to this to express that it was where Kevin was giving Steven terrible advice; he had that happen to him too.) 

Grace says good writing really helps connection on a personal level; it automatically feels authentic. Grace adds that even though she's never fought Gem monsters or had a magical best friend, she still knows on some level what it's like to go through what Connie does in those moments because the writers build them on realistic emotional experiences.

McKenzie says she thinks Steven's emotional misfire at the beginning of "Dewey Wins" was very unlike him, and asks for the actors' comments on whether they think Steven was genuinely confused about Connie's reaction or whether he was suppressing something. Zach thinks Steven probably got it subconsciously, but was just confused about everything at the time. Grace thinks Connie just felt terrified about having faced the idea of not seeing Steven ever again and then when he returned he was so flippant about their pact, which she had invested so much into even if her ability to help might have been limited in that situation. 

Zach points out that anything bad that happened to him at age 14 was the end of the world. Zach and Grace joke about how nice it is to say "when I was a teenager" now that they're past that into their twenties. (Their birthdays are two weeks apart.) Grace says she just has normal angst now instead of teenage angst.

McKenzie brings up "Gemcation" and Steven's embarrassment to admit that he'd had a fight with Connie, worrying that they would side with her. What do Zach and Grace think of Steven's atypical reticence? Zach thinks Steven fears the Gems' reaction would be to be angry like Connie because he must deserve that treatment. When McKenzie suggests it would've been simpler to just leave and never come back to face it, Zach says that's the darkest timeline and jokes that Steven would join the Diamond Authority. This AU definitely exists.

The next subject is Connie's hair. Grace is asked to comment, and she remembers seeing it in the boards and asking about it, with Rebecca confirming that Connie had gone through a redesign. 

Grace says it's a common cliché to change your hair when you go through a relationship change, but there's truth in it. She thinks Connie's come so far from Season 1, from thinking she's going to die friendless to showing up at a cool party with a Lion and a new haircut, chatting with strangers. Grace thinks she may have changed her hair to help deal with moving forward, and although her relationship with Steven is very important to her, she needs to invest in her personal growth independently from having a magical best friend. Grace mentions feeling sort of bad for Kevin for the first time in that episode, despite his history of being unsympathetic. McKenzie thinks his past with having an ex he lost helped humanize him. They agree he deserves some sympathetic treatment but that he's still a jerk, and they joke about a redemption arc for him in which he'd have to sing and join the Crystal Gems.

Connie answers questions:

McKenzie: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Connie: Oh, I have no idea. Right now my favorite subject in school is science, so I'd love to do something with that, I think, learning and investigating the world is super interesting. Maybe I could study gems for a living.

McKenzie: Would you consider going on another adventure with the Crystal Temps?

Connie: I'd love to! I just hope they don't make me imitate Steven again. That was kind of weird. If we could just be our own people while doing an adventure, that'd be fun!

McKenzie: What's it like to be in a Fusion?

Connie: It's super weird but it's awesome. I mean, it's crazy, I get to share a mind with Steven.

McKenzie: Yeah?

Connie: Yeah, it's like, half of me is controlling half a brain and half a body, but at the same time it's just one person.

McKenzie: Is it like divided down the middle? Do you have like the right arm?

Connie: I guess. I mean, I'm left-handed, so it'd be the left arm.

McKenzie: Why did you cut your hair? Which by the way looks amazing.

Connie: Thank you! I think I just needed a change. I feel like, I'm growing up, and I've had this long hair for a real long time, and I wanted to assert a new side of my personality.

McKenzie: It's an image change, you gotta shake things up!

Connie: Exactly. I've had this long hair for a while now, and now this cute short hair, it's a cute chic new look.

McKenzie: What kind of podcast would you have if you had a podcast?

Connie: I would LOVE to have a podcast because I just love to talk about all sorts of things that interest me. It would be cool if Steven and I could get together and talk about all sorts of stuff. Maybe we could interview the Gems or interview people about--or I'd love to talk about all sorts of issues in the world today. I love to talk about the real stuff. Current events. And also pop culture, too, I think, books, television, movies, analyzing it all.

McKenzie: That sounds like an amazing podcast.

Connie: Thanks. I mean I certainly love talking to you on this one!

Next week: LAPIS!

[Archive of Steven Universe Podcast Summaries]

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

I need more batman media but I don't know what to watch or where to watch it and Netflix took off Young Justice and Justice League :(:( do you have any fic recs or fun facts

A.  Blogsto follow if you haven’t already followed them, the first three write FREAKINGAMAZING fanfic and the fourth creates THE BEST fanart I have literally sat and scrolled through these blogs for hours

@camsthisky (good GOSH I love her she writes so much about Dick Grayson)

@audreycritter

@preciousthingsareprecious

@laquilasse

B.  RandomFics to Read (and honestly there are so many more, I just can’t think of themat the moment):

1. TheAcrobat Series 

by fishfingersandjellybabies http://archiveofourown.org/works/4079917

Look anytime anyone talks about how much Dick loveshis family they’ve won my heart and soul. I especially like the Kori section.

2.  Mori Shej 

bydickiegayson  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12298375/1/Mori-Shej

OH MY GOSH.  Ilove this story so freaking much.  Ok,imagine if Jason Todd, after coming back from the dead and going through allthat stuff with the Lazarus Pit and training, goes after Dick Grayson to gethis revenge on Bruce.  Except when heshows up at Dick’s apartment, ready to kill the Golden Son, he finds somethingcompletely unexpected.  Jason has a lotof issues, Dick has a lot of issues (courtesy of the Blockbuster incident).  I have read and reread this story countlesstimes, and I can never not cry because I love my broken sons so much.  There is a lot of anger, some cursing, muchregret, and brothers being brothers.  And Dick is the sweetest most protective [redacted because spoiler] and Jason has a mushy heart after all.  Itcan stand as complete but I think the author is writing more?  Also, either before or after, or both, go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqeNxdyp5CEand listen to the song.  It is my newfavorite song and CAN YOU IMAGINE DICK SINGING IT OH MY GOSH

3.  the roadwill only be wide (the rain will never stop falling) 

by weird_bird (2weird4) http://archiveofourown.org/works/8610391/chapters/19743343

A collection of Dick and Damian moments.  So very beautiful.

4.  The RobinsUnited Series, first story is Bird by Bird 

by laceymcbain  http://archiveofourown.org/works/2656487/chapters/5936243

…some hurt/comfort, Jason doesn’t know what the hellto do with his family, and they all insist on calling him brother.  *shrugs* family feels are my drug of choice

5.  Penny Lane 

by @jerseydevious  http://archiveofourown.org/works/11757690

Damian wants a horse, and drat I’m crying?  (tbh I cry very easily over my sons…but still)

6.  Sun Spot 

byDawn’sEternalLight (@preciousthingsareprecious) http://archiveofourown.org/works/11748606

This fic is a quiet moment of beauty and rest for Dickand Damian.  Damian draws, and Dickwatches his talented little bro.  Thereis sunlight.  You skin will clear andyour crops will grow and any heartache you have ever had will be healed likemagic!

C.  Abunch of fics by Kieron_O’Duibhir

1.  TheTill-Then From the Ever-Since http://archiveofourown.org/works/3506603/chapters/7707866  

There is a problem in the Batcave, as in, youngerversions of the Batfam keep turning up. It’s absolutely fantastic, and one of my favorite things is youngerJason being SO done with his older self and calling him out on stuff and being all protective of his brothers.  It gets better and better with every chapter.

2.  But a Walking Shadow http://archiveofourown.org/works/4259511/chapters/9641367

 Sothis story is not finished yet and the author takes waaay long to post updateson it but she has promised not to abandon it soo…It is Nightwing-centric, witha whole mess of comic Teen Titans making appearances.  The author has written a lot of stories abouta world where Dick became a Talon, and in this tale Talon-on-the-run winds upon Earth-1 and Nightwing is trying to figure out who this apparent clone of hisis.  Talon Dick has always intrigued me,and it is interesting seeing him and Nightwing face off.

3.  All the Roofs of Uncertainty http://archiveofourown.org/works/2273208/chapters/4994631

HOLY HECK this is one of my favorite Jason Todd fanfics EVER.  I love the description by the author “The onewhere Dick bleeds a lot and Jason argues with everybody.”  Jason is in the wrong spot at the wrong time,ie. He finds Dick bleeding to death and is forced to save him.  Tim and Damian make appearances.  Jason has anger issues.  That doesn’t stop him from caring.  Bruce and Jason hash things out in the mostbeautiful (painful) way.

4.  Wheel and Blade 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2492957

 Inwhich Dick confronts Damian about his practice of taking weapons to school, andalso gets slightly distracted by the idea of living in a vardo.  I love this story because it shows the bestway to parent Damian—not by telling him no “because I said so” but byexplaining and debating things like he is smart and capable.  

5.  I Pass the Night Watchman on His Beat http://archiveofourown.org/works/2326226

Thisis a cool one-shot of Dick and Amy, his partner on the Bludhaven police force.  I freaking love Dick being a cop.

D.  Okay now if you want something towatch:

 1.     Nightwing—TheSeries 

by ismahawk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o297A1wmys0

This is THE BEST Nightwing fan film I haveever seen.  I love the Dick Grayson in it—he’sgot acrobatics, sounds like Jesse McCartney (Robin/Nightwing’s VA in YJ), and is quite handsome.  He fights, gets the stuffing beat out of himand keeps getting back up, has a bit of a temper, loves Barbara—perfection.  Watch it, you won’t regret it.  (Also Jason is there yay!  I will take him in any capacity I can get. And I kinda really like the actor for Bruce?)

2.     RedHood: The Series—Episode One “Homecoming” 

by tenshunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BdVSgshgFA&t=136s

My favorite Jason Toddfanfilm!!!  Heavily featuring TimDrake!  Look this adaption is fab, I lovethe actors and the dialogue and the fight between Jason and Tim (spoiler?)  As far as I know they are trying to puttogether a second episode.  Watch thevideo where Jason Todd tries to get people to donate money for it, itsHILARIOUS

3.      Batman The Animated Series is on Netflix tillSeptember 1st.  I’m in thesecond season and love it a lot…Alfred is so freaking sassy!  

4.     DamianWayne: Robins Fly at Night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS30bYjVmL4

 It’s just five minutesand doesn’t have any dialogue, and it doesn’t come close to deserving an Oscar, but dang it it’s hard to find Damian stuff…and also seeing a littlekid running around in the Robin costume made me realize that there is nothing Iwant more than to see Damian Wayne on the big screen, being all angry assassinkid, and Dick Grayson capturing him in a hug…

5. Gotham on Netflix

I am pretty sure you already watch this? But if not, DO!  It is AMAZING.  I love it so much, especially Bruce and Alfred and Selina Kyle

E.  Some things from Batman: Dark Victory

Okay I know he is a talented young acrobat and all but how the FUDGE did Dick get up on that chandelier?!  the kid can truly fly (yeah yeah, the stairs probably lead up to a hallway floor/balcony that Dick leapt off of but still) I wonder how many grey hairs the kid gave Alfred in those first weeks alone

On dark days I like to remember the time bby birb Dick Grayson caved in the Joker’s cheek with a well-placed kick.  My nine or ten year old son then proceeded to smash in the Joker’s teeth with a stick a few minutes later and it was amazing

You think I lied??  Nah my son Dick Grayson was cracking teeth and bones and witty puns from Day 1.  Go Robin!!!

Okay so just look at this picture.  Bby Dick is SO FREAKING TINY!!!  also very intense. OMG Batman’s fists are as big as his first son’s head!  *cue a very many feels in my heart*

F.  Random things I am including because I feel like it, and they all revolve around Dick Grayson mostly because he is my fave so…

1. Apparently some official websites say that Nightwing’s martial arts specialty is Aikido.  I do not think that word means what they think it means

2. “I close my eyes now for a few moments and I can see my parents riding the air current with me. Forever young. Forever strong. Their faces wide with excitement, big smiles on their faces, enjoying the adrenaline surge even more than I do. And there is one thing I am sure of … my parents would be proud of my life.” (Nightwing, Nightwing #141, 2008)  

3.  [Talking about Blüdhaven] “It’s a hopeless case. A lost cause. A town so mired in corruption and sin that it’s drowning … When Batman sent me here, I thought I’d solve one case and book. But then I realized … if I could make a difference here – well, that’d be something. This filthy old town needs me…. Surrounded by a dozen of my worst enemies. No way out. Nowhere to hide. The little brat was right. I do love it. (Nightwing, Nightwing Secret Files #1, 1999)

4.  There once was a dumb writer who thought killing Nightwing for real would be a good idea, and he tried writing toward that end, but everybody else was like hahahaha NO

5.  I used to hate when fic writers would shorten Damian’s name to Dami (kind of like how I majorly dislike when people shorten Sirius Black’s name to Siri, he is not an iPhone gosh).  But then I read a post on tumblr that said something about Dami actually meaning something in Arabic, something like blood or life-blood or heart blood…I can’t exactly remember what and maybe it isn’t even true but I choose to believe it is and that Dick knows exactly what it means and he calls Damian Dami as a way to show how special he is, how much Dick loves him.  Because Damian is his little brother/son and means the absolute world to Dick.  And Damian, though he pretends to despise all nicknames, absolutely LOVES that Dick calls him this

[jshi43]

#Week 6 Reading response

Bodies, Surrogates, Emergent Systems, p. 140

I still think it’s kind of arrogant to put human bodies and artificial intelligence parallel together. I’m kinda believe that one day artificial intelligence will break that final door and become completely self functional beings. Look at how fast they involve; once pass the final point there’s no way human can keep controlling them. If that day comes, it’s even hard to say if human can still survive. Just think of the Neanderthal. 

However it all starts with human body. When making artificial intelligence human intentionally made them similar to body functions. We want to make new things that looks like our self. God made human with his image, and human made their creations with their images. It’s creation, but it’s also control. 

Atsuko Tanaka, p. 140

To me this is a very beautiful work for sure. The style of it is also so timely sensitive. It is also a wonderful example to show the artist’s traditional background, but not using any cliche icons or contents.

I think it’s hard to deal with the cultural background thing. On one hand, artists tend to show all the good and beautiful things they think: traditional paintings, icons, hand made styles- but all of those had already be seen too many times and used on too many inappropriate situations that already became such cliches that even not worth to look at; they are also cultural bias in both ways. Artists treasure them think they are the best over all other cultures, while ‘outsiders’ viewed them as the same thing as ‘Asians have small eyes’. 

In fact, I’m thinking of China’s official cultural advertisement- it’s also been a family, father and mother, grandparents and kids who lives happily together. This kind of advertisement is aimed to be a national image for foreigners to show that how good China is. However, just put the good or not part away, it doesn’t make sense. Every cultural, every country on earth will have families of the exact same constructions; every family will have parents, grand parents and children. How is that suppose to be a cultural unique thing? 

What’s more, cultural unique has this easy and dangerous trend of going into nationalism. In this case, I like this art work the most. It’s showing the Japan style; especially these multi-color bulbs. Its similar to traditional color pattern, common modern Japanese light bulbs decoration style(just visit any authentic Japanese restaurant here and you’ll see what I mean), and most importantly its content. The artist was expressing some serious cultural problems; but instead  of saying Japan cultural No.1 or saying Japan gender discrimination sucks, she put it in between- everything looks so decent and honorable on the outside, but what about inside?

In short, I really like her way of dealing those topics.

Harold Cohen, p. 144

I think of Photoshop when I saw this work. Computer art media has difference from traditional media; for most of the time the label will be ‘digital’ or ‘computer’, but no one can really specify which exact ‘digital’. Because computer is artificial intelligence to some extend, so sometime it’ll raise the question about how many percentage of a digital work is actually executed by the artist? Yet how many by the computer?

However, is this really a big question? Cohen’s work might be popular among that time, but seldom do people mention it now. As human we still want to see human’s work; its imperfection made its meaningful to look. It’s almost the same when looking at ‘paintings’ by animals. We’ll never admit those to be art works. Art works have to be made by human, because creative thinking needs to be happy, satisfying, painful and all emotions mixed together during the progress, and only human can achieve that.

Chris Burden, p. 145

I think this one is somehow like Roca’s work since I actually read that first in the book, and I prefer this one. I can’t help to think about all these people with depression that I met online or in real life. Some people just yell a lot about it to get attention, while they probably not suffer it at all; other ‘real’ patients might just kill themselves quietly at one night. However, you can never tell who’s who; and you can never ask. All activities that involving suicide have the similar facts, that is people can only wait for them to come, but cannot change a thing.

Indeed, this is a nice picture. One thing I would like to point out is, except from doctors/soldiers/police, common people don’t really get that many chances to see dead people, or to be more specific, the moment before death. What is more, we cannot see our own moment for that. As a result, I was kind focus this photo on the fact that Burden’s facial expression can be a suicide person’s last minute. No matter how the artist put it as an experiment, an art work or gave it such a long list of meanings, this still is a potential suicide. That fact actually interested me the most than any other thing. We don’t really know how human died; we will never know if there is a afterlife, or if we can thinking during the last minute. As it was put in the book, the author describe it as an eerie clam, but I find it eerie from the reverse angle; It just seems too idealized, like a movie. It’s almost like ‘he passed away peacefully in his sleep’, but that was not supposed to be the result. I just kept thinking of ‘do not go gentle into that night’ when I saw and when I wrote this response, and I have no idea why.

Antunez Roca, p. 153

No doubt this is a powerful art work. To me this one is special because of this description: “A monitor with a digital representation of Antunez Roca’s body allows the user to commit violent virtual acts, like...” 

I think it is a clever way to deceive the viewers, or in this case, users. I think virtual acts cannot represent real life thoughts. For example, the violence in games. Whenever there’s a school shooting/ teenager crime happens, media and public will always blame on virtual worlds. I think it was just ridiculous for Walmart to remove all the video games in their stores after a recent shooting but kept all real guns on sale as usual. Back to the art work, I think it then created this unbalance between virtual and reality acts, because users can see both in a really short time. From this aspect, I think it is powerful to see how  is imaginary movement really out put, and it is about power as the artist choose as his topic.

Another point is its format. Looking at the way the artist put those device on him, it was brutal. I think that this and other similar behavior art have the same trend of wanting the viewers/users to do harsh work. Artists in these performances wanted to be hurt; they are almost inviting viewers to make them pain and even death to justify their topics, whatever those are. It’s like the viewers are physically controlling the artists, while the artists are mentally controlling the viewers.  This somehow sounds like a twisted but yet common form of love.

Stelarc, p. 154

We all heard the phrase of human body is like a computer, but then the artist literally turned his body into one. I might never understand why every artist valued their body to such a high extend, but still this sounds like a good experiment.

The fact that it is remote makes it complicated. Online viewers are different from actual viewers; Online viewers are behind several screens, and also cannot receive actual timely feedback. What is more, in this art work the viewers can almost only view the artist body, which makes it so erotic in some ways than Roca’s work while electric shock could be erotic, but the way the artist put the devices on made it not. Considering the time for this artwork it is innovative at that time, but how should we view it now? It has a weird balance of questioning and teasing the viewers in some ways. The photo showed in the book also made it so irrelevant with actual human beings. 

Just off the topic a bit, I think in the year of 1980-1999 many performance art included hurting body and extreme behaviors, even I can recall seeing those artists in China doing the similar acts and were (and are) viewed as lunatics. After that time, this kind of act become less and less. I do wonder if there was a universal background made it so, or just individual historical progression in individual areas separately involved into the same result. 

Jim Cambell, p. 155

I like this work of trying to be offensive. It’s simple; it doesn’t have any fancy decorative pieces attach to it; but it’s enormous. I can’t really tell how religious people felt when they looked at it, but at least I’m curious. I’m not sure if Mozart’s Requiem worked in here since I can’t experience it myself, but it’s just probably because Requiem is one of my favorite and I’m having a bias of using it as a background music.

This work and Requiem also share a similarity. To some extend, they are all by product of religion; first is the Bible, then come those work. It’s an appropriation, but I can’t see them as appropriation. It’s also extremely difficult to value any aesthetic meaning of any religious holy books; it’s simply a task cannot be done. However, put the religion aside, holy books were made by human. In this case, they should be able to valued by human. 

I remember in one religion and universe class, my teacher ask us to re-read the very first chapter of the Bible. I had this long term impression that in the Bible, woman was made by one rib of man. That’s one of the reason why I don’t like about the whole religion thing. However then the teacher said that there were two version of this creation of woman; in a previous version, man and woman were made in the same time. As I do find the text to prove that, I start to wonder how religion truly worked. Just as this piece, everyone can put his or hers assumption, action, experiment and literation on the Bible; and some of the viewers will be affected by those secondary sources, and leave and propagate these thoughts. Religion is about people putting their faith in a higher thing/figure, but sometimes it also can be putting the faith into other normal human that share the same level with them in this world.   

Coming back to this piece, I think the artist had made his point starting but going beyond religion. However, because it’s religion, so viewers’ focus point will be forever trapped in it, before they going elsewhere.

Ken Feingold, p. 165

I don’t think the artist’s description really matches his work. In fact, I think he is a better writer than artist. To be honest, I won’t be that disappointed if I don’t look at the description but just the art work. It seems like something you can find in every big and small galleries in Chelsea; it looks cheap and unfinished. I can see the artist is telling the truth about how it functions, but there are just some words that make the whole thing not seems appropriate. 

Like “nature of violence”, “interior worlds”, “cinematic sculpture” and “personality”, these are all very big words that should be used with extra caution to not let the viewers feeling they are being deceived and the artist doesn’t know what he is doing at all.  There are just some well handed parts mixed with rough parts, together without transition, and make the art work fragile. For example, the artist used real people looking heads; they are very detailed; but the robotic arm and board underneath them look like some high school student work. All three heads are placing in one line, so honestly there’s not much space for movement. What bothers me the most is “that thing” before them. I can’t see the meanings that it should have; because they look like overnight undergraduate final project. This kind of nonprofessional touch in this work is just making me cannot get into it, or understand it. This is even worth when he got a nice description; reading the description only I’m imagine something that looks completely different from this one.  

[emphasisonem]

I would absolutely love to see your take on this: “hOOOoooOo shit, so you’re the older sibling my best friend always talks about hahah wow tHEY NEVER BOTHERED TELLING ME YOU WERE THIS HOT” au

Title: Catch Me a Catch

Summary

“James, you-” Steve stammers, face flushing as his brow furrows. “You’re- you’re Bucky?!”

“I am,” Bucky replies, taking a sip of his drink, curious to see if checking Steve out ahead of time is going to backfire because the blond looks equal parts surprised and annoyed.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Steve cross his arms over his chest, and yeah, maybe Bucky should have thought this plan through just a little bit more.

“Wait,” Becca’s eyes dart between the two of them. “Did you just call him James? Do you two know each other?”

In which Becca desperately wants to introduce her friend Steve to her brother Bucky, but it turns out that the two of them have already met.

So, this isn’t quite the prompt, but I like the way it turned out and I hope that you do too! Thank you for the request!

“You’re coming to my birthday party tonight, Rogers, and I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

Becca glares down at him, bright red lips pursed tightly together. Steve knows that look well, knows there’s not a chance in hell that he’s getting out of attending this party no matter how much he’d rather spend Friday night curled up on his couch in sweats and watching Netflix.

Steve sighs, shoving the last of the newly released books into the bottom shelf of the display case he’s been working on, and pushes himself up. Becca’s nearly a foot shorter than Steve is, but with her hands on her hips, and that glare that follows him up, Steve knows better than to underestimate her.

“Becca,” Steve sighs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans and kicking at the ground. “You know parties aren’t my scene, especially parties at clubs. Plus, I’m broke. All the money I make here goes toward tuition and art supplies; you know that.”

“Rogers,” Becca huffs, an amused smirk curling across her lips. “It’s an open bar for most of the night. Besides, I want you to meet my girlfriend and my brother. I know you’d probably rather wander through the city streets sketching or whatever it is you do in your free time, but you are coming. You might even have fun. And I really think you and Bucky would get along.”

“Oh my god,” Steve groans, running a hand through his hair as he grabs the empty cardboard box at his feet and heads toward the back room of the bookshop Becca’s parents own. “Beck, you need to chill out. Your brother sounds like a cool guy, but just because I’m bi and he’s gay doesn’t mean we’re gonna have some instant connection or whatever.”

“Yeah, well, you should have thought about that before telling me you haven’t been on a date in over a year, Steve,” Becca chuckles, following her friend. “You’re my friend now, and I just want my friends to be happy. And if I can also make my currently-single brother happy? Well, two birds, one stone. Come on, you’re totally his type, and he’s a good guy. Not quite as handsome as you, but most people I know find him pretty darn attractive.”

“Look,” Steve sighs, setting the cardboard box down by the rest of the recycling. “I will come to your party. I will have a few drinks. I will meet your girlfriend and your brother and be friendly. But only on the condition that you stop meddling.”

Becca squeals, throwing her arms around Steve’s midsection and hugging him so tightly that he grunts. For such a tiny little thing, Rebecca Barnes is awfully damn strong.

“All right, all right,” Steve chuckles, pushing the young woman back gently. “You’re going to break my spine and I’m not done shelving for the day.”

“Thank you, Steve!” Becca exclaims, releasing him from her hug, gripping his hands and squeezing gently. “You won’t regret it!”

And then Becca’s bouncing back to the register, leaving Steve alone to wonder about how vaguely ominous the brunette’s parting words had been.

Becca’s gone for the day to get ready for her party, and Steve’s nearly finished with his closing rituals when he hears the bell above the door tinkling gently. He just manages not to groan aloud at the idea of a customer coming in five minutes before closing, and he’s glad he does because it turns out to be his favorite semi-regular.

“I’m so, so sorry,” the dark-haired man grins, breathing heavily as he brushes a stray strand of hair behind his ear. “I know it’s almost closing time, but I got held up at work and I gotta get a present for a party. I know exactly what I’m lookin’ for; I swear I’ll only be a second.”

Steve just stares for a moment, trying to remember how to speak. Usually the man’s longish hair is hanging loose to his shoulders or swept up into a messy bun, but he’s clearly cleaned up for the party he’s attending. He’s not in his usual ratty jeans and layers of hoodies and jackets. Instead, snug, dark wash jeans hug his long legs and muscular thighs, and a polished black peacoat is what’s keeping him warm. His face, usually graced with a five o’clock shadow, is clean-shaven, and his hair is braided back away from his face. Steve’s breath actually catches a little at the sight before him.

“That’s-” Steve finally manages to reply, smiling at the man. “That’s fine, James. I’ll, uh, I’ll just be here when you’re ready, okay?”

“Thank you so much, Steve,” James grins, stormy eyes sparkling as he strides into the shelves, disappearing from view. Steve slumps forward, hands against the counter as he breathes in deeply. He wishes he’d just told Becca about the cute regular - it might have saved him the awkward attempted set-up with her brother- but then he’d have to deal with her interfering with his love life while he’s on the job.

“You doin’ all right, pal?” Steve starts at the sound of James’s deep voice laced with amusement. “You look like a man on death row.”

Steve huffs out a laugh, grabbing the book from the other man’s hand and scanning the barcode. “I’m all right. I have to go to a party tonight too, and I’m just bracing myself for my friend’s attempt at playing matchmaker.”

James grins, handing Steve some cash, and Steve nearly shivers at the feeling of the brunet’s fingers brushing against his own. “Well, you never know. Might not be so bad. And I can’t really imagine anybody’d turn down a guy as handsome as you are.”

“Hah,” Steve rubs a hand against the back of his neck as he hands James his change and fumbles the book into one of the plastic bags they keep at the register. “Thanks, I, uh, we’ll see I guess. Enjoy your evening, James.”

“You as well, Steve,” James winks, then disappears out the front door, the bell ringing hollow in Steve’s ears as he watches him go.

Steve sighs, moving to the door to flip the sign from ‘Open’ to ‘Closed’ before locking the door and heading to the break room to grab his coat.

Bucky’s standing at the bar with Becca and Wanda, sipping on a vodka tonic when Bookstore Steve walks in, looking absolutely stunning as always. He’s changed into darker jeans and a navy sweater that hugs his gorgeous frame perfectly, and Bucky can’t keep from admiring him.

As soon as Becca’d told him about her new coworker, Steve, Bucky had decided he needed to check the guy out for himself, since his baby sister has a tendency to exaggerate a guy’s greatness if she thinks Bucky might be interested. Of course, knowing his sister’s schedule made it very easy to pop in now and again when she wasn’t around, and when he’d first seen Steve, Becca’s description of him as a “blond demigod with eyes as blue as a clear May sky” suddenly seemed like an understatement instead of the most dramatic thing he’d ever heard.

And, yeah, Bucky now has roughly twenty unread novels stacked around his apartment, but each of those books has given him a chance to chat with Steve, to get to know him a little better, and he has a really good feeling about the shy, polite, surprisingly sassy blond.

Bucky turns back to the bartender, signaling for another drink so that Steve won’t see his face right away. He knows the moment Steve arrives because Becca excitedly introduces him to Wanda (whom Bucky adores because he’s never seen Becca so happy) and then there’s a tug on the sleeve of his red button-up.

“Steve,” Becca shouts over the music. “This is my brother Bucky. Bucky this is my friend from the bookstore, Steve.”

Bucky turns, a wide smile on his face as he extends his hand. He’s not sure how he manages not to laugh at the stunned look on the other man’s handsome face, shaking his hand and telling him what an absolute pleasure it is to finally meet him officially.

“James, you-” Steve stammers, face flushing as his brow furrows. “You’re- you’re Bucky?!”

“I am,” Bucky replies, taking a sip of his drink, curious to see if checking Steve out ahead of time is going to backfire because the blond looks equal parts surprised and annoyed.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Steve cross his arms over his chest, and yeah, maybe Bucky should have thought this plan through just a little bit more.

“Wait,” Becca’s eyes dart between the two of them. “Did you just call him James? Do you two know each other?”

“He’s a regular at the bookstore,” Steve replies, eyes narrowing as he glares at Bucky. It shouldn’t be getting Bucky hot under the collar, but the intensity in that gaze has Bucky’s head swimming a bit. “And you only ever came in when Becca wasn’t around. Were you trying to check me out without your sister knowing?”

“And, I believe that is our cue to dance, darling,” Wanda purrs, grabbing Becca’s wrist and dragging her away from the two men. She smiles at Bucky over her shoulder and winks, and Bucky grins gratefully in return.

Steve’s still glaring at him, but Bucky just smiles and says, “Can I get you a drink, Steve?”

Steve blinks, then studies Bucky carefully before replying, “Yeah, okay. Any lager they have on tap is fine.”

Bucky orders the drink, handing it to Steve and the motioning for the man to follow him to a quiet corner of the club.

“All right, so,” Bucky smiles apologetically. “I know it’s maybe weird that I never told you I was Becca’s brother. But I was curious about you; the way she described you, you seemed too good to be true. And she mentioned that you were very skeptical of set-ups, so I didn’t want to blow my chances right out the gate. Especially once I started talking to you and figured out that you were not only unbelievably handsome, but that you were also a really nice guy.”

Steve’s biting on his lower lip, clearly trying not to smile as Bucky pauses.

“Go on, James” Steve urges, blue eyes warming up considerably as he bumps his shoulder against Bucky’s. Bucky likes that gaze and the way Steve’s fighting a losing battle against his impulse to grin.

“Do you know how many books I have to read now?” Bucky asks, liking the way Steve laughs. “Not that I mind; I love books. But, really, you’re the only reason I’ve been coming into my parents’ shop so often. My mom’s been makin’ fun of me about it for weeks now.”

“Is that right?” Steve questions, a gentle finger trailing up and down Bucky’s arm as he smiles, eyes darkening when Bucky shivers.

“That’s right,” Bucky answers, voice firmer and surer than he’d anticipated. “And I think maybe you should let me take you out sometime. Because I’m pretty sure you think I’m cute too. And you can call me Bucky, you know. Most people do”

“Oh, you’re pretty sure, huh?” Steve chuckles, leaning down to whisper in Bucky’s ear. “Because, I’ll be honest, cute’s not really the word I think of when you walk through the door of the bookstore, Bucky. Rugged? Sure. Sinful? Absolutely. Sexy? Definitely. But not cute.”

“So, is that a yes?” Bucky’s a little breathless as Steve’s nose grazes his cheek when he pulls back. “Let me take you to dinner?”

“That’s a yes,” Steve smiles, threading his fingers through Bucky’s and tugging him forward. “Now, what’s say we join your sister and her girl on the dance floor? I’m sure she’ll think it’s an even better present than the book you got her, given how adamant she’s been about me meeting you.”

Bucky knows he’s grinning like a fool, like a lovesick middle-schooler, but he can’t bring himself to care as he nods and lets Steve drag him onto the dance floor and pull him close.

“I told you,” Becca grins at Wanda as the two of them sway to the music. “I’m the best matchmaker of all time.”

Wanda rolls her eyes with a smile. “Truly, dear, your skills are positively occult.”

“Hey now,” Becca tugs Wanda close, lips brushing against Wanda’s mouth as she laughs. “Be nice to me. It is my birthday, after all.”

“And you got exactly what you wanted,” Wanda replies, kissing Becca sweetly as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend’s neck.

“I did at that,” Becca sighs happily, smiling when she catches Bucky’s eye, and giggling as her brother winks before he goes back to chatting animatedly with Steve.

Yup. Matchmaker extraordinaire. Becca should add it to her business card.  

[magnusmadssen]

Disney Pixar Revolution at Wellington City Libraries!

The Pixar revolution has arrived at Wellington City Libraries and just in time for the wintery-est of school holidays. It is an exciting time with the release of Toy Story 4, produced by Pixar Animation Studios and released by Walt Disney Pictures,

Check out the teaser trailer reaction below! …. Even the toys can’t wait for the movie to be released!

So to celebrate the release of the forth instalment of the lovable classic where toys come to life, why not go down to your local library and check out some other DVDs released by the same companies, such as:

Brave.

Be brave and grab life by the horns with Merida, the feisty, Scottish  princess and skilled archer who dreams of following her own path living her own life, even if it mean defying the traditions and expectations of her family and people. However when her pride gets in the way and a spell is cast upon her mother, Merida must use her wits and skills to “mend the bond caused by pride” and save the day “highlander” style.

  Cars Trilogy.

Take a ride on the wild side with Lightening McQueen and the gang in Cars 1, 2 and 3, that chronicles the secret life of race car driving, from the race car’s point of view. This is a movies that boys will enjoy, especially boys into cars and formula one racing.

        Finding Nemo.

Go back to where it all began where Marlin goes on an epic quest from the great barrier reef to Sydney in order to find and save his son, Nemo, while meeting and encountering new friends on the way such as surfer turtles that live to 150 years old, vegetarian sharks who have regular meetings and of course, Dory herself!, a good-hearted and optimistic regal blue tang with short-term memory loss.

Finding Dory reunites the friendly but forgetful blue tang fish, Dory, along with her friends, Marlin and Nemo on an epic quest to find Dory’s family. The questions that hangs on everyone’s lips are what does she remember? Who are her parents? And where did she learn to speak whale? Favourite moments in the film include Dory as a baby – Boy, she’s adorable!, Marlin and Nemo’s encounter with the seals, Still can’t get the ‘OFFOFFOFFOFF’ aka the seal talk out of my head, Dory making new friends with Hank, an octopus with seven tentacles and who, for a guy with three hearts is very bad tempered, Dory reuniting with her childhood friend, Destiny and the odd cameo of previous characters from Finding Nemo.

  The Incredibles 1 and 2.

The secret life of superheroes comes to life with the Parrs aka The Incredibles, where you watch them balance secret identities, families and saving the day. Overall, both films are funny, action packed and will keep you entertained for hours on end.

Inside Out.

What happens when your emotions go into overdrive? They manifest in the form of Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust. This film is set in the mind of a young girl, Riley Andersen, where the five personified emotions try to lead her through life as her parents  move the family to a new city. Some very funny moments in the film, especially when Anger loses his temper, Disgust’s sarcastic and cynical behaviour and finding what role Sadness plays in our lives (Spoiler: Very important role).

    Also check out the amazing books, ranging from official movie/character guides, stories and comics adapted from the Pixar movies such as:

Disney Pixar storybook collection.

This audiobook features retellings of all seventeen Disney-Pixar feature films such as Toy Story, Finding Nemo and much more!

Disney Pixar Character Encyclopedia.

Dive into the wonderful world of Disney.Pixar with this colourful, fact-filled guide to your favourite Pixar characters. Find out more about the greatest and funniest heroes, villains, sidekicks and oddballs from across all 21 movies- including the newest characters from Toy Story 4. For ages 7- 9.

Cars 3 : the essential guide.

Describes the memorable and ever-popular characters, including race car Lightning McQueen, plus key locations, themes, and iconic moments from the movie.

Incredibles 2 : heroes at home.

“Trying to help… Violet and Dash are part of a Super family, and they try to help out at home in two adventures! Can they pick up groceries and secretly stop some bad guys? And can they clean up the house while Jack-Jack is ‘sleeping?’ Find out in these Super stories! Also included in this volume are a variety of activities, and a special feature on how comic books come to life!” — From publisher’s description.

Incredibles 2 : the official guide.

“Discover everything you wanted to know about brave superheroes, dastardly villains and cool vehicles from Incredibles 2, the awesome new sequel to Disney-Pixar’s smash hit movie, The Incredibles. When a new villain hatches a brilliant and dangerous plot, the Parr family and their old friend Frozone must find a way to work together again – which is easier said than done, even when they’re all Incredible. This book covers all the memorable and ever-popular characters, plus key locations, themes and iconic moments from the movie.” — Amazon.com.

Coco : the essential guide.

Explore the art of the Disney movie Coco! Despite his family’s baffling generations-old ban on music, Miguel dreams of becoming an accomplished musician like his idol, Ernesto de la Cruz. Desperate to prove his talent, Miguel finds himself in the stunning and colorful Land of the Dead following a mysterious chain of events. Along the way, he meets charming trickster Hector. Follow along with word-for-word narration as, together, they set off on an extraordinary journey to unlock the real story behind Miguel’s family history.

Toy Story: Woody‘s Augmented Reality Adventures.

Bring the world of Toy Story, one of the most beloved animated films of all time, off the pages of the book and into your room with Augmented Reality! Since it was first released, Disney/Pixar’s Toy Story has been a global phenomenon. For ages 6+

Disney Pixar Revolution at Wellington City Libraries! syndicated from https://paintballreviewsgun.wordpress.com/

[hellosaltysaladcollectionstuff]

Back to Sundance we go for another year of discovery. What's on the line-up this year? Out of the 110+ films showing at the 2019 Sundance Film Festival, I've chosen 10 that I'm looking forward to seeing the most. To keep things well balanced, I've chosen 5 feature films and 5 documentaries from the line-up. There are so many films playing at the fest, and so many I'll end up seeing (30+), that this is a quick list to get everyone acquainted with some of the work premiering in 2019 (I just want to go see everything). There are new films from filmmakers like Ritesh Batra and Lulu Wang, and incredible documentaries that are also worthy of our attention, plus many other films. You never really know what will good or bad, but here's my first few picks.

This is my 13th year in a row returning to Sundance, starting back in 2007. I'm so excited to be attending Sundance once again, and can't wait to dive into the films more than anything. There's so many I am curious to watch from this year's line-up. For now, here's my Top 10 most anticipated films before the fest begins.

Alex's Most Anticipated \Sundance 2019/ Feature Films:

Hala Directed by Minhal Baig

I've been following filmmaker Minhal Baig (mostly on Twitter @minhalbaig) for a while now, and she is ready to finally break out big and show everyone how talented she really is. Hala is her second feature film following her debut 1 Night, and it's much more personal this time. The story is about a Muslim teenager named Hala - played by Geraldine Viswanathan - who lives in Chicago with her immigrant parents from Pakistan. There she copes with the unraveling of her family as she comes into her own. It's a coming-of-age story but told from an entirely different angle that we rarely see, as Sundance explains that Baig "brings a vital and layered female perspective to the coming-of-age genre." They add that she "crafts a character and story with immense relatability and unexpected consequence." I've been looking forward to seeing this ever since I first heard about it, and I'm excited that it's finally ready to premiere at Sundance. Congrats, Minhal.

Photograph Directed by Ritesh Batra

Back in 2013, I fell in love with a little film called The Lunchbox, starring Irrfan Khan and Nimrat Kaur. After making two other English-language films, Our Souls at Night and The Sense of an Ending (both from 2017), filmmaker Ritesh Batra returns to his roots and his hometown in India with Photograph. Set in Mumbai, the film is about a struggling street photographer, pressured to marry by his grandmother, who convinces a shy stranger to pose as his fiancée. The pair develops a connection that transforms them in ways that they could not expect. As a photographer myself, I'm already intrigued. But I've also got a good feeling this might be a magical, lovely new film from Ritesh Batra and I'm looking forward to seeing where he takes us. If it's anywhere close to as sweet and as honest as The Lunchbox was, it will be another instant favorite.

Little Monsters Directed by Abe Forsythe

There's always one or two films in the Midnight section that I have to see, just because they sound so crazy and fun. Little Monsters is exactly one of those that I'm going to stay up late to watch. Described as a "film dedicated to all the kindergarten teachers who motivate children to learn, instill them with confidence, and stop them from being devoured by zombies." The massively talented Lupita Nyong'o stars as that teacher, taking on an extra bloody role that will hopefully allow her to show off more of her badass side. Plus there's always room for more zombies movies, right? Why not, they're always entertaining. "Armed only with the resourcefulness of kindergartners, [they] must work together to keep the monsters at bay and carve a way out with their guts intact." I'm fairly certain this will be a good one, especially with the late night audience.

I Am Mother Directed by Grant Sputore

One of the few sci-fi films playing at Sundance, which means I have to see it no matter what. But it also looks and sounds compelling. I Am Mother features a robot designed by Weta Workshop in New Zealand, and marks the directorial debut of an award-winning commercials director from Australia named Grant Sputore. And yes, the story seems quite promising. A teenage girl is raised underground by a kindly robot "Mother" - designed to repopulate the earth following the extinction of humankind. But their unique bond is threatened when an inexplicable stranger arrives with alarming news. This reminds me a bit of Moon (which premiered at Sundance 2009) mashed up with other sci-fi concepts. The robot's design is familiar but sleek, and the handful of images they've released so far all look better than expected. Don't let me down, Sputore.

Velvet Buzzsaw Directed by Dan Gilroy

So, this looks awesome! And totally insane! And weird, and captivating, and funny, and twisted, and sly, and wicked, and frightening. Velvet Buzzsaw is the latest film written & directed by Dan Gilroy, a screenwriter who turned director (or perhaps became a true auteur) making his debut with Nightcrawler in 2014, and following that up with Roman J. Israel, Esq. in 2017. This time he attacks the art world, with a film that seems to be about pieces of art coming to life and killing people. Something like that. The cast also is quite impressive: Jake Gyllenhaal, John Malkovich, Toni Collette, Rene Russo, Daveed Diggs. And this looks like the perfect follow-up to Ruben Östlund's Palme d'Or winning film The Square, with both films mocking and lambasting the absurdity of the modern art world. I'm so there. Watch the official trailer here.

More Feature Films I'm Looking Forward To Seeing: Lulu Wang's The Farewell, Rashid Johnson's Native Son, Paul Downs Colaizzo's Brittany Runs A Marathon, Nisha Ganatra's Late Night, David Wnendt's The Sunlit Night, Makoto Nagahisa's funky We Are Little Zombies, Noble Jones' The Tomorrow Man, Bert&Bertie's Troop Zero, JD Dillard's Sweetheart, Patrick Brice's Corporate Animals, Tayarisha Poe's Selah and the Spades, Daniel Scheinert's The Death of Dick Long, and May el-Toukhy's Queen of Hearts.

Alex's Most Anticipated \Sundance 2019/ Documentaries:

Memory: The Origins of Alien Directed by Alexandre O. Philippe

A documentary about the making of Ridley Scott's original Alien! Say no more, I'm already there, I wouldn't miss this for anything. This is the latest doc film made by Swiss filmmaker Alexandre O. Philippe, who has been making docs about cinema and filmmaking for a while - including The People vs. George Lucas, and 78/52: Hitchcock's Shower Scene just before. I'm curious how much this will cover and how much it will uncover. It seems to focus more on how they came up with the original ideas and designs for the film, less so the filming or release. "Philippe's real interest lies in the deep resonance of myths and our collective unconscious. The strange symbiotic collaboration between Alien creators [Dan] O'Bannon, Scott, and H.R. Giger suggests a greater synchronicity across history, art, and storytelling, a synchronicity that gives us the Furies, creatures of Renaissance painting, and even chest-bursting aliens." Sounds damn good, right?

Moonlight Sonata: Deafness in Three Movements Directed by Irene Taylor Brodsky

Another documentary that sounds exceptionally unique. The short Sundance description grabbed me right away: "A deeply personal portrait of three lives, and the discoveries that lie beyond loss: a deaf boy growing up, his deaf grandfather growing old, and Beethoven the year he was blindsided by deafness and wrote his iconic sonata." It's a multi-generational portrait of people dealing with deafness, capturing the complexity of silence and hearing. And I am more than intrigued to find out how filmmaker Irene Taylor Brodsky (of Hear and Now previously) examines these themes and weaves these three stories together. Sundance talks it up even more in their description of the film: "Brodsky explores the meaning of deafness, loss, and the power of silence as her son discovers his unique voice and her parents confront a new chapter of their lives," adding that it's "buoyed by a perceptive soundscape and luminous animation." I really want to see this doc.

Midnight Traveler Directed by Hassan Fazili

There's always a remarkable doc discovery, or two, hidden in the Sundance line-up telling an unforgettable story from somewhere else around the world. Read about this film and you'll instantly get a feeling that it's going to be something special. Midnight Traveler is a documentary made by a filmmaker from Afghanistan, Hassan Fazili, who flees his home country and takes us on a perilous journey with his wife and two young daughters as they travel as refugees across Europe searching for a new home. It seems to be a very personal, inside look at the life of a family just trying to surviving on the run from certain death. "Chronicling every step from inside the action", Fazili's camera captures "not only the danger and desperation but also the exuberance and tenderness of this irresistible, loving family." Just look at that shot of them all in the snow above! They seem so loving, wonderful, and authentic. I want to see this just to meet and learn about them.

Apollo 11 Directed by Todd Douglas Miller

I'm a space nerd. I'm a big time fan of NASA. I'm surprised we haven't seen a documentary like this before, but I guess In the Shadow of the Moon is close (focusing on all of the Apollo missions). And I loved Damien Chazelle's First Man, which is also about Apollo 11, so I'm totally ready for this next. The documentary is purported to be an exhilarating cinematic experience, something that demands to be seen on the big screen. NASA has been digging out old footage and photographs and other artifacts from the vaults, putting all of the original footage from the Apollo 11 mission online + uncut audio recordings and more. Produced by CNN Films and Statement Pictures, this film "features never-before-seen, large-format film footage of one of humanity's greatest accomplishments." Oh yes. Can't wait to experience this. Watch the teaser trailer here.

Hail Satan? Directed by Penny Lane

A documentary about the rise of the Satanic Temple religious movement? I'm certainly curious. And it's the latest doc film made by Penny Lane - a quietly talented, quirky, fun filmmaker behind other fantastically weird documentaries like Our Nixon, The Pain of Others, and Nuts! (about a guy who sold people a goat-testicle impotence cure - it premiered at Sundance 2016). I don't know how deep this is going to go, but I am intrigued to find out. Sundance references this eye-brow-raising part of the Satanic Temple's history in their description: "Through their dogged campaign to place a nine-foot, bronze Satanic monument smack dab next to the statue of the Ten Commandments on the Arkansas State Capitol lawn, the leaders of the temple force us to consider the true meaning of the separation of church and state." Sounds like something I have to see for myself, at the very least because no one else is making films about this fascinating topic anyway.

More Documentaries I'm Looking Forward To Seeing: Kenneth Paul Rosenberg's Bedlam, Steven Bognar & Julia Reichert's American Factory, Ben Berman's Amazing Johnathan Documentary, Ljubomir Stefanov & Tamara Kotevska's Honeyland, Petra Costa's Edge of Democracy, Garret Price's Love Antosha, Hepi Mita's Merata: How Mum Decolonised The Screen, Karim Amer & Jehane Noujaim's The Great Hack, Ursula Macfarlane's Untouchable, and Alex Gibney's latest The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley.

For all of Alex's Sundance 2019 reviews and updates: Follow @firstshowing

For more Sundance 2019 previews around the web, highlighting early picks and potential breakouts, see: The Film Stage's 20 Most-Anticipated Premieres, and Indiewire's 21 Must-See Films At This Year's Festival. You never know what might be a big hit, and it's vital to have a pulse on the buzz – even before the festival starts. There's plenty of exciting and hopefully superb gems hidden in the 2019 line-up, bring on the films.

You can follow our Sundance 2019 coverage and updates in this category. The festival kicks off January 24th and runs until February 3rd, with lots of films to see every day. Let's jump right in and start watching.

from FirstShowing.net http://bit.ly/2FGN8w1

[loycereiber]

Wrongful Incarceration

The criminal justice system is complex. On one hand, it aims to hold those who have committed criminal acts accountable for their behavior. On the other hand, it aims to hold ill-behaved law enforcement agencies and prosecutors accountable for their behavior. By ensuring that the rights of accused persons are respected, the system strives to achieve justice through fair and predictable means.

Unfortunately, even a skillful criminal defense does not always lead to the acquittal of wrongfully accused and wrongfully convicted persons. Sometimes law enforcement agencies and prosecutors are not held accountable for illegal practices on their part and individuals who should otherwise be released are incarcerated.

In fact, data compiled by the highly esteemed advocacy group the Innocence Project indicates that as many as 110,000 individuals are currently wrongfully incarcerated. That translates practically to nearly 5 percent of the current prison population. Some of these individuals are completely innocent of wrongdoing and even more should have had their charges dropped due to having certain rights infringed upon during the investigation and prosecution of their cases.

It is critical that the justice system operates in a fair and predictable way. Otherwise, similarly situated individuals will have no idea whether or not they will be prosecuted or granted their rightful release at any given time. Judges, lawmakers and concerned advocacy groups should give the problem of wrongful incarceration in America the urgent attention it deserves. Such attention will benefit both those directly affected by the trend and the health of the system as a whole.

Woman Accused Of DUI Forms Criminal Defense Against More Charges

A woman who was initially pursued by Enoch police on suspicion of DUI has been arrested relating to additional charges. Upon her arrest, Utah police discovered that she had a warrant from another state relating to theft charges. The woman must now begin forming her criminal defense against the various charges that she faces.

According to the report, at around 6:15 p.m., Utah police responded to a call about a potentially impaired driver on Midvalley Road. The caller claimed that a Ford Ranger was driving on the wrong side of the road, and the vehicle’s headlights were not on. When police attempted to pull the vehicle over, the driver supposedly initiated a brief chase before running into a light pole and coming to a halt.

During her arrest, officers learned that the woman was missing from California, and she was noted as suicidal. When the officers contacted California to report that the woman had been found and is in police custody, they learned that she also had a warrant out for her arrest on theft allegations. Utah police claim that they searched the car and found approximately $60,000, which they believe to have been stolen.

The woman was arrested on charges of DUI, attempting to evade police and failing to stop at a stop sign. She was also accused of failure to maintain the proper lane and driving on revocation. Utah police are working with law officials in California investigating her theft charges. Since the woman is from another state, it would be advisable for her to learn about our policies and procedures to strengthen her criminal defense as her proceedings move forward.

Free Consultation with a Criminal Lawyer

When you need a criminal defense attorney, please give our office a call for your free consultation (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite CWest Jordan, Utah 84088 United StatesTelephone: (801) 676-5506

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Source: http://www.ascentlawfirm.com/wrongful-incarceration/

[wanderingandfound]

So, it's a "start crying your eyes out in the middle of the brightly lit living room floor and then make your way upstairs to bed before any one can catch you and continue crying" kind of night. Good thing my mom went to bed fifteen minutes prior. She'd probably catch me.

I think I shot myself in the foot with the one doctor I need to keep a mutually respect between.

I'm not getting better.

I came home to get better and it isn't happening.

Which yeah, I didn't come home to get well. To get fixed. To heal. To stop being sick. But I did come home to become a better person, to become a more functional person. And I officially have a year left, and I haven't made any forward progress.

My mood has gotten testier lately. I'm no longer a good audience for my mom. I keep snapping at her, or gearing up for a fight, or have an underwhelming response. She doesn't deserve any of it and I keep hurting her feelings. She's trying to help or relate or just gripe and I keep interpreting it all as responsibilities that must fall on my shoulders and I'm bracing myself for a stress that isn't mine. I can't stop the gentrification of my city and she isn't expecting me to. I keep hurting her feelings. That isn't an easy thing to do.

It wasn't a fight. A spirited discussion. My sister was on my lap. We weren't on sides. We were talking about, I dunno. Starting college? Being sick? Something tangentially related. And I said what's been on my mind lately, "I wonder if that was mono I had when I first started college?". Because I don't remember when but at some point in the last eighteen months I had a blood draw to check for whoknowswhat and it said that at some point in my life I had mononucleosis. And the only time I remember being that sick for that long was when our plane touched down in the Midwest and I was sleep deprived and felt like my thyroid medication had just completely quit on me. Which doesn't and didn't make sense, but pain comes in many different forms and as near as I could tell that's what it felt like. My first few weeks at college I could barely stand, and spent most of my free time in my thankfully roommateless dorm room. So yeah, I didn't make any friends or squads or the like.

Back to an hour or so ago. My mom says she had told me over and over again on the phone that it might be mono and that I should get checked out. I was about to deny it immediately but then I remembered that no, actually that had happened. My mom would try to explain that you can get it ways other than kissing and I would impatiently say I know. She thought I was embarrassed. But really I was two thousand miles away looking at the symptoms list for mono and not aligning that with me. I wasn't /that/ sick.

An hour or so ago my mom said something really spot on and I wish I didn't have a bum memory because maybe then I would have a quote. Well, a quote longer than the two words "personal failing". She's right. I do see this all as a personal failing. Multiple times I looked at the descriptions of Hashimoto's and thought "I'm not /that/ sick". We both assumed the narcolepsy test would come back negative instead of way positive because "I'd don't have it /that/ bad". This happens over and over and over! In middle school I played nearly an entire quarter of a basketball game with a sprained ankle because I didn't think it was anything serious. When I fractured my arm in fourth grade none of the adults thought it was hospital-worthy because I was so composed. Only a classmate since kindergarten, KK, told my mom that she knew something was wrong because I was crying and I apparently didn't cry. I wasn't even close with her! When I got stitches in seventh grade or at the dentist a Christmas or two ago they didn't believe me when I said the painkiller wasn't working and I could still feel it (feel the thread going through my flesh). When I was three and nearly died from an e. coli. kidney infection the hospital people were amazed that I was drinking water and not dehydrated because apparently children as sick as I was were always dehydrated. My dad told me to stop complaining about lack of leg room on that roadtrip and it's ten years later and I'm still in pain every day. I couldn't breathe through my nose for years and I thought that was normal and none of the adults believed me! My mom is the only adult who ever believes me! I come in with pains so intense I feel like I'm dying and my doc says it's gas, as if I don't know what that feels like. Tells me to get more fiber. I can't move for days because of hip pain and the doctor says it's constipation. More fiber. A high school teacher tells my parents multiple times that if I exercise I'll have more time in the day, then I won't be stressed about homework. Guess what I'm exercising now and that still hasn't been found to be the case. I am more tired after running, never ever less. I spend years telling my middle school teacher that I can't do all the work she assigns on time. I am permanently fucked up from her homework load. She doesn't listen. She didn't listen to my own fucking name. She didn't listen when I told her I was sick, that running in the brisk morning air made it worse. And guess what! It still makes it worse!

Teachers and doctors and family members have dismissed my pain, my sickness, my stress, and my exhaustion my whole fucking life. My mom is the literal only person who has consistently listened to and validated me. But while my mom may be the most important person to me, she doesn't override the whole world. So yeah, I do see this all as one big personal failing. There are narcoleptics in grad school! There are thousands of students with any combination of depression and anxiety and ADHD who get fine grades in school and don't need to drop out. If I just focused better! If I got better sleep! Didn't waste time on the Internet! Only ate health food! Was. More. Productive. I'd be okay! Of course I see this as a personal failing. How could I not?

My mom has gone through her own health issues herself. But like, until she was middle aged she was always so skinny. To skinny to give blood skinny. And this all occurred before the "obesity epidemic". I've been fat since I nearly died from that kidney infection. I don't think I've been under 200 pounds since before I was a teenager. Maybe before I hit double digits. Even "good" television shows tell me I'm a failure just for existing. Of course everybody sees someone who's just really lazy and complains a lot. This is the only body I've ever had! This is the only life I've ever lived! It is so hard to keep validating my own pain. To stop undermining and underestimating it! Especially because even my loving mom and dad wanted me to lose weight. Here's the Wii Fit. Here's the Wii Active. Try to lose half a pound in two weeks. Go to Kung Fu even though you hate it. What about a different martial art? Dance? Sports? Cross-fit? Let's go to the gym this year. Here are some all girl ones. Here are all these offers we aren't making to your little, healthy-weight siblings.

Of course I see it as a personal failing. I don't get to just not go to school, not get a job, just because it is hard. Especially since my mom has always made going on disability seem like a thing you should never, ever do. But I'm not going to inherit millions and I've never been on a date so I won't be marrying rich, so I need to figure out how to be a proper adult just like everybody else.

[raisingsupergirl]

My Weird Writing Journey, Thus Far

The life of a writer can be pretty glamorous. Authors can go on book tours around the world, hang out on The Today Show, and go to world movie premiers of their novels turned to film … and then there's me. At thirty-years-old, I've been in the game for around ten years, and I have no publishing credits to show for my efforts except a few flash fiction pieces. I've been promised contracts and commercial success more times than I can count, and I've had enough strikeouts and rejection letters to crush any man with at least an average helping of common sense. But here I am, a writer light-years ahead of who I once was and further still from the writer I desire to become. And again I stand on the brink of an opportunity, looking out at all that could come of this new stage in my journey. But to understand what's at stake, you should know where I started.

The first thing I should say is that I never wanted to be a writer. I never wanted it because I never knew about it. I inherited a passion for reading and a gift for art from my mother, and my father bestowed upon me a love for all things weird—science fiction, fantasy, and Stargate SG-1. But my brothers loved sports and trucks and other wholesome, manly things, so I figured I should love those things too. And despite winning first place in a school-wide creative writing contest in the third grade, I spent the rest of my adolescence riding bikes, playing baseball, and getting lost in the woods. In high school, sports were again a center focus, but there was something creeping up from underneath—something a little … weird.

I then went off to college for Physical Therapy, so most of my undergraduate studies were in the sciences, except for a few required philosophy and writing-intensive English classes. But slowly, in the quiet areas spent in my room, hiding from my housemate (a Russian, Jewish, elitist, pothead … not that there's anything wrong with that), that weird thing surfaced. That need to express myself. To explore words and thoughts and adventures without the limitations of reality weighing me down.

The first thing I wrote since my mermaid story in the third grade, aside from droll school projects, was a contemplative description likening my college room/cell to Plato's cave. Exciting, right? I did several of these little allegorical gems, exploring free will, racism, and other riveting subjects. But I never saw them as anything other than convenient creative outlets. And then, in my parents' basement, on Christmas Eve, 2007, it happened. The weird exploded.

I was sitting on my old bed, reading the book of Revelation, as all totally normal college students do, when I stumbled across an interesting passage about the 144,000 people who would be chosen, in some capacity, during the second coming of Jesus Christ. "Huh," I thought. "144,000 people, saved from a dying world. What if they just, like, went to some other planet that God created for them … that would make a pretty cool book."

And BAM. It was like my mutant gene finally activated—that spark of consuming fire that us lucky few experience when we know our purpose in life has finally been revealed. And I'm not being dramatic here. I flopped back on my bed, awestruck at the path unfolding before me, wondering how I had not thought of it before. I was going to write a book! And of course the book would become a best seller and I'd be uber-rich and famous.

So I set out immediately writing this story that God had pre-ordained to change the world. In the spare moments of my degree work, I plotted and outlined. As I planned my wedding and prepared to start a new life in Virginia with my new bride, I built worlds and formed characters from formless lumps of clay. With the Wednesdays off afforded me in my first real job, I would sit for literally 10 hours straight, clacking away at my keyboard. And in 2010, only three years after I started, my masterpiece was created.

And then I spent the next three years realizing I had no idea what I was doing. I went to writing conferences, joined critique groups, read craft books, and they all said the same thing. "You did everything wrong." So I threw book one into a drawer and started again.

Since one book proved too easy for me the first time, on the second attempt I decided to write two at the same time. The first was a young adult urban fantasy titled Night Games. In it, a high school boy fights vampires, werewolves, zombies, and his own fears of eternal damnation. The second novel was a sci-fi/fantasy adventure novel set in Antarctica, a place where magic is real, and the dying world will do anything to harness it. And since four heads are better than one, I set out to write this novel with 3 other authors. Needless to say, we're still working on it … 5 years later. And despite its awesomeness, an unfinished book generally doesn't have much chance at publication.

Thankfully, I finished Night Games in about 2 years, and it even caught the eye of a literary agent. And then I hit the big-time. I was officially represented. I had an agent. My agent. My own. My … well, my agent. Then, she pitched the novel to several publishing houses, with great feedback. But in the end, they all passed because there was, "no market for that kind of fiction in the Christian publishing industry."

Oh, yeah. Did I mention that everything I'd written so far was meant for the CBA (Christian Book Association)? And everyone failed to tell me Christians don't believe in zombies. But, when I finally realized that precious fact, my agent teamed me up with a ridiculously talented non-fiction author (Clay Morgan, check him out!) to re-write the highest-selling fiction work in the history of Christianity, A Pilgrim's Progress, and we added … wait for it … zombies.

It was brilliant. And I'm not just saying that. Probably my favorite creation so far. The ending made me cry. But, it didn't sell either. I mean, it sat at a large publisher who promised publication for about a year, then fizzled. So I threw it on the stack and searched for my next target. 

And then my moment finally came. My agent contacted Clay Morgan and me about a "special request" from a publisher. A quirky suspense novel without an ounce of anything weird. Naturally, I was immediately intimidated since I would have to endure the journey without a single dragon or robot, but with a publisher specifically asking for the story, I couldn't pass it up (especially with my friend Clay by my side). So we drew up an outline and some sample chapters, and they were a hit. I mean, more like a grand slam. The acquisition editor loved everything about it, and a contract was just a matter of time. And then, once again, it all fell apart. I can't get into specifics, but it was bizarre. Divine intervention barely explains it, but the point was, it fell through.

And that's when I hit my low point. I had this story idea that I loved, but I couldn't find the strength to write it. I mean, why put in so much time and effort just to lay it on the stack of unpublished works? I sought council from my agent, and from Clay, and anyone else who would listen. I begged them to read sample chapters, and give feedback, and pour sugar in my ear. But in the end, it didn't matter. The story wouldn't leave me alone. I had to write it. Whether there was a "market" for it or not, I had to get it from my head to paper. 

So I did. I poured myself into it for another 2 years, creating something I could be proud of. And when I finally turned it into my agent, she ripped it apart. You see, I'd written it as a young adult novel, but apparently I was wrong. The main character turned out more like Scarlett O'Hara when I'd intended her to be closer to Jo March (from Pretty Women). And I'd focused too much on the journey and not enough on the story.

So I RE-wrote it. The whole thing. In about 3 months. And I loved it even more. And my agent loved it. And my beta-readers loved it. And then I turned in the official proposal to my agent. And then I had seven heart attacks. You see, this was the first novel I'd finished that was not an overtly Christian book. And my agent was pitching it into the Pacific Ocean of publishing. Huge Houses with intimidating track records. And all I could do was wait.

And that's what I'm doing. Waiting. Again. I feel good about this one, but I felt good about the others, as well. And as I wait, I can't help reflecting on how far I've come. As I've said, I don't look much different on paper (so to speak), but the last 10 years have been a wild ride. I've met a massive network of sensationally gifted and peculiar people. I’ve become the executive editor of a wonderful literary magazine. I've navigated a world I never knew existed. And I've found fulfillment I never knew possible. Writing has been a blessing. It has shaped how I see the universe and the individuals who populate it. And most of all, it has taught me to never give up on something worth starting. It may be stubbornness. It may be delusions of grandeur. But it's definitely worth it.

And believe me, I want to scream that to the struggling people I see every day. Those guys and gals wondering if it's worth it. Whether "it" is a career, a healthy lifestyle, a friendship, a marriage, or life itself. "Don't give up!" I want to say. I know what they're going through, because I've asked every single one of those questions at one time or another, and the answer has always been yes. God gave us choice for a reason (If you don't believe me, I'm happy to send you one of my college allegories to explain it), and it's that choice that makes life worth living in the first place.

So whatever happens with my insane choice to be a writer, I'm satisfied. I've committed to something bigger than me, and I'll leave a legacy long after I'm gone, one way or another. And if this latest novel becomes an international best-seller, well that's just icing on the cake. So stay tuned. Things are about to get awesome.