#Even though nothing physically happened to me it was still a situation I never should have been in

[bluesidez]

GymRat!Miguel Part 4

content warning: mentions of sexual coercion (may be triggering to some so I marked the area where I talk about this subject with 🎧, the story will still make sense if you have to skip it), the word assault is used once in regards to Miguel’s situation at the party, fluff to make up for the last part, Miguel’s biological father is Tyler Stone here but he IS NOT comic book Miguel physically by ANY MEANS 😭, the progression might be a little fast?? I hope not though I want them to kith 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽, a little suggestive at one part but nothing serious

word count: 2.4k (at this point y'all...you must know that I like telling stories because wtf), kinda proofread

Prev | Next ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Masterlist

GymRat!Miguel who set his alarm for 8 am the next morning. It rings long enough for his roommate to get up and shove him in his side.

“Shit. Sorry,” Miguel groans. His head is splitting and he feels like he’s been run over.

“Coming in at ass o’clock in the morning and letting your alarm ring past 12 rings? What happened to my roomie?” Peter muses, scratching is stomach. His own eyes are tired as he blinks at Miguel’s body slumped against the bed.

“A party that I should’ve never gone to,” Miguel says, bringing the ends of his palms to his eyes and breathing deep. “Nothing went how I wanted it to.”

“It looks to me that you got everything you wanted,” Peter yawned, going to grab a water from the mini fridge. He handed it to Miguel who thanked him and emptied the whole thing in one go.

“I left a girl that I really liked alone there,” Miguel replies, voice broken. “Was stuck in a room with a bunch of girls I didn’t even know. I was gone way too long and she left.”

“Shit, O’Hara,” Peter said, eyebrows raised. “Did they do anything to you?”

“No. After they realized I wasn’t trying to do anything, they just tried to bring the party upstairs. I didn’t get back downstairs until two hours later.”

“Did you reach out to your girl, at least?”

Miguel reached for his phone, “She texted me when she left and I texted back later.”

He looked at his phone, going to your messages. “And still no reply.”

“Can you blame her?” Peter asked, getting back in his own bed. “If I left my girlfriend anywhere while we’re out, she would literally have my head on a wall.”

Miguel wanted to cry. How could he fuck up something so badly?

He sighed as he brought his knees up, resting his arms on his knees. He put his head on his arms, trying to think.

“What should I do? I really like her,” he asks, voice watery.

“Not to be that guy, but there’s no time like the present,” Peter says. “Tell her the truth. Explain things to her. If you’re feeling that awful, do something for her.”

Miguel sniffles and groans out, deciding to get up.

“You’re right,” he says. “No time like the present.”

GymRat!Miguel who grabs a light breakfast and gets straight to work. He thanks the universe that his mom packed a bunch of aimless art supplies in one of his bins. He gets to crafting, putting his heart into everything. He’s freshening up, spraying on cologne, bringing out the slacks that make his ass look great, tightening his belt, fixing his hair. He tightens up so well that even Peter whistles when he walks out of the bathroom. He grabs his craft and goes off campus to a store, buying a few snacks, a circus animal cookie plush, and a gatorade in case you happened to be a little hungover too. He even goes the extra mile and finds a cute apology card. If anything, he hope you could get a laugh out if it.

GymRat!Miguel who makes his way to your dorm building, some guy letting him in after he saw him lingering around the door like a kicked puppy. He thanks him profusely and runs up the stairs to your door. He stands outside in the hallway for a minute and catches his breath, trying to still his beating heart. He gives a light knock, hoping you were there.

The door opens, revealing another girl who looks Miguel up and down with a scowl. Her hand is on her hip and her bonnet moves with her head as she stares Miguel down.

Miguel stutters, asking if you were there.

“Maybe, depending on what you’re about to say next,” she says.

“Look, can you tell her that I’m deeply sorry. I should have never left her alone last night. She didn’t deserve that. I apologize for even accepting the invitation to go. I should have known better. Nothing was worth me staying upstairs that long. Can I just- please, let me just talk to her,” Miguel pleads, desperate.

Your roommate just goes “hmph” under her breath and closes the door in his face.

Miguel’s arms drop and he gapes at the door like a fish. He’s willing to stand here until you have to come out, but isn’t sure what to do.

Just when he considers knocking again, the door swings open again and you’re standing there in a giant t-shirt and pajama pants with pokeman balls printed on them. A giant blanket is wrapped around your body.

You look at him, eyes cautious, “Jess said you were groveling. I’ll give you 5 minutes of my precious time. Something you clearly know how to waste.”

You sounded hurt and Miguel felt like dying.

He takes a deep breath calls out your name.

“I am so sorry for leaving you the other night. It was extremely fucked up, especially when I made sure that you could come. Anything could have happened to you and it was careless of me to not see that. I promise you my mom raised me better,” he says, looking down at your face.

You just crossed your arms and scrunched your mouth up. Even now, Miguel was still infatuated with you.

“I’m glad that you understand how fucked up that was. I was worried about you. I waited. For hours. I didn’t know anyone there and it was nerve wracking,” you say, words coming out like ice.

“I know and I apologize. Truly. Please just,” Miguel hands you his gifts. A gift bag full of the goodies he bought and an origami flower bouquet with a few lilies of the valley sprinkled throughout. A flower for renewal. A flower that he hopes speaks to you. “Please accept this and my honest apology.”

You look down at the flowers, taken aback. “Did you make these?” you ask, a little awed.

Miguel rubs one of his wrists, completely nervous, “Yes, I did. The lilies are real, though.”

“Well, obviously, Miguel,” you laugh softly at him. You start to go through the bag, heart warming at his initial gift.

“If you’ll accept my apology, I really would like to try taking you out. Again,” he says, shifting his weight to another leg.

“Wasn’t aware that last night was a date but slow down, tiger. I didn’t say I would forgive you yet.”

“Right!”

You took out the cookie plushie, cursing in your head about how cute it was. He really did know you. You kept going, heart melting the further in the bag you got. You finally got to the card, taking it out of the envelope.

You laugh at the cute seal, “You were an ‘ice hole.’”

Miguel heart sings at your laugh, happy that you were finding joy in this somehow.

You start to read the card, eyes wandering the page. His heart is hammering. Not only did he write his heart out, he dropped his confession of love like for you at the end. Whether or not you accepted it would make or break the rest of Miguel’s week.

Your eyes slowly drifted and you started to blink faster.

“Our time together has been short, but I think of you day and night. I dream about you. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your touch. It sounds sudden and cheesy but none of these parts of you escape my mind. I’m not sure what it felt like for you, but as soon as I was lucky enough to be graced with you in my lab group, I was stuck. To me, you lit up the room. I want to continue to explore that light, if you are willing to have me. May you please forgive me and consider going out with me?”

“If this feels like too much, I completely understand and I’ll-”

“Shut up,” you say, eyes teary. “Do you really mean this, Miguel?”

He stares at you, itching to reach out and hug you, “Every word.”

You wipe at your cheeks, a little overwhelmed. “Come here, you big goof.”

Miguel practically teleports the short distance, wrapping his arms around you. You sniffle in his chest, warmed up in his arms.

“I forgive you,” you say, words muffled into his shirt. “Just don’t ever do that shit again.”

He brings his hand to his head in a salute, “I won’t. Scout’s honor.”

“Of course you were a Boy Scout,” you say, giggling as you look up at him. He smelled really good and looked delectable. If you were weaker, you would have answered the door instead of Jess and filled the hallway with obscenities.

🎧

“Tell me though,” you say, trying to ground yourself. “What does one do when he leaves me for two hours?”

Miguel felt a groan in his chest, “Those girls were trying to do some weird harem thing. I was stuck in a room telling them no, trying to drink my way out of there. They kept trying to add more people to the mix, thinking I would go along with it. I didn’t want a case on my hands so it took me a while to get out of there without force.”

You went rigid in his arms, “Oh my god, Miguel!That’s assault.”

“Nothing crazy happened. I made sure that none of them got handsy.”

You bring your hand to his face, “That’s great, but there was still alcohol involved, which makes that coercion. Did you tell anyone about this?”

“Just my roommate, Peter. He sounded a little worried, but we were more focused on getting me to this point with you.”

You remove yourself from his arms and step back into your dorm.

“Stay right here. The council needs to discuss and Jess is on the Student Association,” you say, leaving a crack in the door.

GymRat!Miguel who is sat on the floor of your dorm room and explained the implications of what he went through. Jess ensures him that she’ll get somebody on the case despite Miguel saying that he was ok. You both ensure him that nothing will happen on his end and that this should stop those girls from doing this to anyone else in the future. Miguel is on board with that and you give him one more tight hug.

“Although you didn’t have to, I wish you would have told me. I would have came barging through those doors,” you say, a frown on your face.

“Really, it’s fine. I feel a little silly going along with the whole ordeal anyway.”

“None of that is your fault though, Miguel. You didn’t know what they were going to do or what they were trying to do,” you say, voice firm.

Miguel was enamored by your passion, “Thank you for saying that. If it helps, my father is Tyler Stone.”

Jess turns her body completely to you both on the floor, mouth dropping in shock, “Oh yeah, that entire organization is getting shut down.”

🎧

GymRat!Miguel who walks you out of your dorm, hand in hand with you. You two agreed on a nice coffee date. Something light after so much turmoil. You looked adorable, running around the room frantic and getting all dolled up just for him. He’s happy that he was able to work things out.

GymRat!Miguel who sits across from you, rubbing your hand with his thumb as you both sip your drinks. He begs for bites of your chocolate cake and you roll your eyes and feed it to him, a little shy at the PDA.

GymRat!Miguel who explains his family tree to you. You're still shocked at the Tyler Stone name drop. You're empathetic to his situation, agreeing with how tough it was to find out someone you knew for so long wasn't your actual father. He assures you that he's settled with the feelings for now, just happy to still have a connection with both of his dads and his mom. Plus, the money Tyler sends him was not anything to be sad over.

GymRat!Miguel who learns of your dating history. You've had a boyfriend and few meaningless dates. As you describe how he treated you, it makes sense that you were ready to completely block Miguel out of your life. Who stands up their prom date that they did a promposal for?

GymRat!Miguel who takes you shopping at the bookstore. Letting you get just about anything. Some romance books? Grab it. A plushie? Of course. A Beyoncé vinyl? No need to even ask. He was happy following you around the store as you squealed over certain things. Your eyes twinkled as you explained a series about a deaf girl falling in love and her boyfriend learning sign language to communicate with her. Miguel responds accordingly, humming at whatever you say.

GymRat!Miguel who feels crazy watching you eat a strawberry ring pop that he got from candy machine. You placed it on your left ring finger and he watched as your lips kept puckering around the crown of the candy diamond, taking it to the hilt and pushing it back out. Your tongue would come out occasionally as you slid the candy down it.

"Is it good?" he asks, mind in the gutter.

"Mm hm," you say, a smile on your face, ring pop popping from your mouth.

Lord help Miguel.

GymRat!Miguel who opens his car door for you. He also reaches across and buckles your seatbelt for you, body close to yours.

GymRat!Miguel who walks you to your dorm room, hand still in yours. You both linger there for a moment, taking in each other's space. You peer up at Miguel with those Bambi eyes again.

"I had a really great time with you Miguel," you say, holding your new bag to your chest. "I'm glad you came here this morning."

"I'm glad too," Miguel says looking at you, hearts in his eyes.

You bite your lip, rocking on your feet before you decide to do something.

You reach up on your tip toes and kiss Miguel on his cheek.

He stares at you, shocked. He stares at you a little longer, then begins to lean down. You get excited, hoping that he'll do what you were scared to do.

Jess swings the door open, "Aht aht! Come on inside, girl."

Miguel stands straight, face in flames.

"Good night, Miguel," you say, cheeks feeling hot.

"Good night," Miguel watches as Jess smirks at him before she closes the door.

GymRat!Miguel who floats all the way back to his dorm. Peter grins and tussles with him in excitement after taking in Miguel's appearance. He texts Gabriel while he gets ready for bed:

"When have I ever lost?"

"I kicked your ass in Mario Party last week but go off Ig"

"🖕🏽"

"🫰🏽"

Miguel went to sleep once more, having thoughts of you.

dividers by: @yeribbon 🩵

a/n: I’m almost certain that this is the LAST time something this serious happens in this series. It will be pretty fluffy for a while...I think 🫣

As always, thank you for reading! Leave a like and a reblog. Please comment! I love to hear what you guys have to say 🥺 🩵

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[selene-writes]

You-Me-Us

AHHHH Hey guys! There's lots of Logan craze on here thought I would try writing. Should this be a series? Its short and there's lot of places to go from here.

You had known Logan for fifteen years—technically, that had been your entire life, or at least as much of it as you could remember. Your earliest memory was of his face peering down at you with a mixture of concern and relief. You were in some sort of ruined laboratory, your body aching with a pain you couldn’t fully comprehend. You didn’t even know your own name at the time. Instead, you went by Artemis, a name you had chosen for yourself, though Logan often called you "bub."

Like Logan, you were a mutant, endowed with the gift of regeneration. This ability made it impossible to determine your exact age. In addition to your regenerative powers, you possessed the unique ability to manipulate atoms. This rare skill granted you control over all elements, a power that made you incredibly unique and powerful.

You had both decided to stick together, united in your quest to uncover the truth about who you were and why you had ended up there. It was evident that something significant had happened to both of you, something that had rendered you both invincible. Despite the mysteries that surrounded your origins, the bond between you and Logan only grew throughout time.

As time passed, the nature of your relationship evolved in ways neither of you had anticipated. Somehow, amidst the chaos and the search for answers, you had found yourselves tumbling into bed with each other. While the physical connection had become a part of your lives, nothing had fundamentally changed, and you never talked about it.

Even as you navigated your complicated relationship, your focus remained on the shared mission: to piece together the truth about your past and understand the full extent of your powers. 

Everything happened so quickly. You and Logan were in the middle of your usual routine—hitting various bars and grifting people for money. It was a familiar pattern, one that had become almost comforting in its predictability. But that night, things took an unexpected turn.

A teenager—no older than seventeen—had sneaked into the back of your car. Her name was Rogue, and despite your initial reluctance, you and Logan ended up arguing about what to do with her. Logan, ever the soft-hearted one despite his gruff exterior, eventually agreed to give her a ride, though it was clear he would have done so regardless of your persuasion.

The situation quickly spiraled out of control. Out of nowhere—a caveman-like brute—attacked you. Logan was momentarily knocked out in the chaos, leaving you and Rogue vulnerable. The man’s strength was overwhelming, and before you could react, he hurled you against a tree. The impact was brutal, and you felt a jarring “crack” as your head struck the trunk.

You crumpled to the ground, falling into the snow. As the world around you dimmed, the last thing you saw was the silhouettes of the figures moving closer, their shapes growing more defined against the stark whiteness of the snow.

You woke with a groan, sitting up abruptly as if propelled by instinct. Your body felt as good as new, fully healed from the earlier impact. Instinctively, you scanned your surroundings, your mind racing with concern for Logan and his whereabouts.

As your eyes adjusted to the dim light, you noticed a bald man sitting in a wheelchair across the room. Despite his lack of visible movement, his voice seemed to come from all around you, resonating in your mind as much as your ears.

“There is no need to panic,” he said, his lips remaining still, not in sync with his words.

You tensed, on high alert. “How are you doing that?” you demanded, your voice edged with suspicion.

The bald man responded aloud this time, “How do we do anything? We’re mutants.”

Your frustration boiled over. “Where am I? Where is Logan?”

The man’s calm demeanor didn’t waver. “He is safe… you both are.” He began to wheel closer; his movements deliberate and smooth. “As for where you are… You are at my academy, where we help those like you. You are with… the X-Men.”

[lycheedr3ams]

Taming You

fem!reader x toxic!konig

MDNI | DDDNE

Warnings: konig is misogynist, controlling, possessive, slight yandere, pervert konig, toxic masculinity, marking, dub-con, p in v sex, brief mention of ass-slapping, dark content ahead

DO NOT DO THIS IRL EVER. THIS IS ONLY FOR FANTASY

you had first spoken with konig when he needed your help to fix one of his work tablets. you had seen him around on base before, his eyes always on you as you went past, but neither of you approached the other. it took you a few days to fix his device, and during those days you learned his type - it was you. his recent searches on porn websites that he didn't bother to erase described you a little too closely. and the situations that he looked up with your bodily descriptions, well, they made you feel a little sick.

you handed his tablet back to him with a forced smile. but he was so polite as he thanked you that you began to wonder if you had misread his searches.

"danke, meine Schatz," he said so gently as he took the tablet from your hands slowly as not to startle you. the sweet tone in his voice made you let down your guard for a moment. it reflected so obviously in your eyes, and the way your smile became a little less forced and showed more teeth.

"if you ever have a problem with anyone here, you let me know, ja?" he said gently again, as if he were telling you a bedtime story. you blinked and your smile faltered slightly as you processed his words. this time, your smile attempted to tame the beast. to fawn.

"i haven't had any problems here thankfully, i think everything will be okay," you said with a shaky voice.

konig stared at you for a moment, silent and dark, before his voice adopted that soothing tone that no one else had ever heard from him. "still. you come to me. for anything. ja?"

you just nodded as you smiled. there was no way you would get him off your back by fighting him. not that you could, even if you wanted to, verbally or physically.

...

somewhere along the line, konig had become your boyfriend. you weren't really sure how it happened. he asked you out to dinner a few times, and each time, you said yes. you were too scared to say no. konig was always gentle with you though. he always held the door open for you, tipped the waitress well, didn't get handsy with you too soon.

but you would argue with him sometimes. or rather, you would be put in your place.

"you have quite a mouth, you know?" he said lowly as he looked down at you. you challenged his stare with one of your own, but it began to crack as he began to stand up to his full height. "your past man friends let you talk to them like this?"

you nodded, too scared to speak.

konig shook his head from side to side. "not with me, Schatz." his eyes seemed to go even darker from underneath his hood. "you don't talk to me like that, ever," he growled. he bent his back slightly so that he was now completely leaning over you. "i'll teach you how a woman should talk to her man. i will make you behave."

your breathing was deeper as he emphasized that last word. his demeanor, how he was talking to you, infuriated you. everything in your logical mind told you to get a restraining order from him, to switch jobs, block him, to never see him again. your mind told you he was dangerous. controlling.

but the throbbing in your core and your slick-drenched panties told you something else. you stared up at him through your lashes defiantly, but said nothing.

konig seemed slightly satisfied with that. "see? you can be a good girl. you're not used to being with a man. you've been with boys. i will change that."

...

konig tamed you with his cock. you hated to admit that. you denied it every chance you could.

"all it takes is a hard cock to make you behave," he grunted into your ear as he fucked you with your ass in the air and your face pressed into the mattress. you moaned without abandon, relishing the way he perfectly filled you up with each thrust.

you were always so much more obedient after he fucked you. he wouldn't miss the near hearts in your eyes after each session. how you'd look at him so innocently and sweetly as he stroked your hair.

"you're getting better," he whispered into your hair. "you barely talk back anymore. that's how a woman should be."

you knew the things you "talked back" to konig about would all be evidence for a restraining order from him. how he threatened to keep you locked in his room when he saw a text from a guy on your phone (it was your cousin), how he nearly killed the guy who accidentally bumped into you in the hallway one night, how he'd give you so many dark hickeys that you couldn't possibly hide them for work, how he'd silently dare you to talk back to him when he said something you didn't agree with. but all you did was stare angrily at him, and feel your core throb as he tamed you.

but sex with him wasn't always loving. most of the time, it wasn't. he'd hold you down despite your protests of it being too much, and just slam his cock into you over and over and over again. he'd toss you onto any surface he could before he rushed up behind you and shoved it in. he didn't care who heard, or who saw. everyone needed to know that you were his.

but that was evident enough even without hearing you scream his name almost every night. it was the way he would be right behind you wherever you were when he wasn't on duty. how you could barely use the women's restroom without him growing sour. how he'd stare daggers into any man who even dared to glance at you, or how he'd slap your ass in front of a room full of people just so show off his cute little trophy. the way you yelped each time he did it was just so cute.

he did train you how to be the woman he wanted. an obedient, pliable woman who never protested anything he said, and took his cock gratefully every time he gave it to you.

[litnerdwrites]

Azriel in Silver Flames

I've basically hated the IC since... Acowar, honestly. But the more I think about it, the more conflicted I am about Azriel. I liked him in every book, but in retrospect, I'm not so sure anymore. This is mostly regarding his treatment of Nesta, since he honestly didn't do much before hand the start of Silver Flames, and he didn't do too much during it either.

I understand why Azriel would stay away from Nesta from the end of ACOWAR to the start of Silver Flames. He's observant, and I imagine he's figured out that Nesta doesn't want to spend time with the IC. Moreover, he may also see it as being in Feyre's jurisdiction, and wanting to stay out of it out of respect for her privacy and what not. It's his behaviour through out silver flames that has me conflicted.

Azriel was raised in confinement with limited interactions with other people. He saw his mother once a week, for limited time and suffered physical and verbal abuse, and torture during that time. He had no control over his schedule, food, social interactions, nothing. Yet, despite that, he allowed Nesta to be isolated and kept on a strict schedule and diet that she has no say in, and we never see any signs of him arguing against it. Especially since he knows being locked up somewhere against your will, where you can't leave, often made to do things you don't want, is what most of the IC's trauma roots from (Amren in the Prison, Rhys UTM, Feyre UTM, Mor in the CON, Azriel in his father's dungeon, etc). Why the, seemingly, most sensible person allowed this is beyond me.

Azriel, through out the book, never protests against this treatment either. He treats Nesta decently, though that is the absolute minimum. She should've been treated like that, regardless, of where she was or what she was doing.

He despises Illyria, knows the dangers out there, from both males and whatever's in those forests, yet he doesn't protest against Nesta going. We've seen that there are days where she wanders around on her own (like when she went to Emerie's), without protection. What would happen if she jumped off a cliff or a steep bluff? Or if she went into the forests? What about if some of the males attacked her? It's not like she was constantly supervised. trusting her witch status will keep them away is too risky, since some might not care. Azriel knows the dangers of Illyria, and he let her be taken there. He saw how Illyria hurt his mother, and how she was treated, first hand.

He doesn't do anything even after suspecting that Cassian pushed her down the stairs, or witnessing her being verbally abused by Cassian, and Rhys when he cares to show up. He doesn't defend her, or shut his brothers down, he just lets it happen, seemingly unbothered. Idk about you, but if I was at dinner, and my brother said to his girlfriend, the things that Cassian says to Nesta, I'd drag him out the front door by the hair myself.

Azriel also had a bag packed for Nesta and Cassian's hike from hell, waiting for Cassian to come get it. He let Cassian take Nesta somewhere else against her will. He, presumably, knew about the plan to take her on that hike, helped prepare for it, and just let it happen without a care. He knew where they were taking her, and what they were going to make her do, and he let it happen.

Then there's the issue regarding the Trove. Azriel pushes for Nesta's right to know about what her powers can do, yet he doesn't have any issue pushing her into life threatening situation to keep Elain from it? He says that Elain shouldn't be exposed to whatever darkness the trove and cauldron possess, but that alone implies that Nesta should be exposed to it, and that's despite her mental condition at the time.

While I don't think Azriel's status as a spymaster means he should know things like Nesta's fear of fire, and her suicidal ideation, but it does mean that there's a very good chance that he does (and yet he still sends her on that hike). Knowing this, Azriel implies that Nesta should go on these life threatening missions, where she could be killed, or commit suicide, or be taken.

Azriel is shown to stand up to/argue with Rhysand in the bonus chapters. He does so for himself and arguably Elain. Why doesn't he do it for Nesta too?

It's all of these little things that leave a bitter taste in my mouth regarding Azriel.

Would he have tried to beg/force Nesta to go instead of Elain had she refused, or if he would've stood up for Nesta if Cassian had become physically violent with her. If she refused to go on that hike, would he have fought for her right to chose like he did before? If Rhys tried to kill her, would he stand up to him for her? If Elain is mistreated in her book, would he stand up for her? If so, why not Nesta too? How can he call himself her friend if he doesn't at least try to talk about how wrong it is, assuming he even realises it's wrong to start with.

We haven't gotten much of his pov yet, and he doesn't really say much, but from what I have seen, I'm concerned. Azriel may not be actively trying to hurt Nesta, but it feels like he enables his brothers and his court too much.

Didn't Tamlin dod the same, along with his court, who watched Feyre whither away, and did nothing. Even if they didn't see what was happening in her head, they saw her wasting away from lack of sleep or food. Isn't Azriel doing the same to Nesta by letting her be treated that way? Reaming neutral still makes him part of the problem, doesn't it?

Am I the only one who gets this bad taste in my mouth when I think about this?

[kaiyunsim]

HEARTS IN THE MARGINS — chapter 10 : afterparty

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fully written ! (wc : approx 1.5k) not proof read

The sound of cars overwhelms you while you are carpooling with minji, yujin, and shotaro. In your hands is a handmade picket of a cute boy. taro, the boy beside you in the backseat, sees you looking at the picket and smirks teasingly.

”wanna see him huh?” he asks, keeping the smirk that you were very embarrassed to see.

You deny quietly, trying to avert the gaze of the boy, instead looking outside for a few seconds.

”no, it’s just…” you pause, attempting to gather your thoughts, you eyes leer around the vehicles and bright lights outside the window, “excited to see the whole group perform”, you finished, trying to put emphasis on the word ‘whole’.

taro playfully shoves you while giggling softly, “okayyyy,” he said teasingly, not believing you, “make sure you look at hoon too okay,”

You just rolled your eyes from all the teasing coming from taro. You try and mask your excitement from scrolling on social media but everyone in the car knows what you would be looking at when you would start giggling at a photo on your phone.

yujin, in the passenger's seat, turns around and jokes, “they definitely fucked,” That comment left you flustered, lowering your head and avoiding their eye contact. “why else did y/n change our plans last minute?” yujin continued.

“funny joke,” you tried to play it off, “nothing happened though,” you continued, trying to downplay the event. Even though you were trying to avoid the attention, everyone’s eyes were on you, how could they not though? you are never this flusted to a simple joke by yunjin. you would always just fight back verbally or physically (jokingly ofc).

“did something bad happen, y/n?” taro asks, his face softens, demeanor different, clearly worried that something happened to you.

”nope, nothing you should be worried about,” you answered, not sure if you should continue but you inevitably do, “jake told me he liked me,” and like that it was as if you were in that library with him when you first met, the car was dead silent. shotaro and yujins faces form open mouths with the absolute bomb you just dropped. minji, who is half listening because she’s driving, looks at the situation from the rear-view mirror, “what just happened?” minji asks, yet her question goes unanswered.

“no fucking way” taro mumbles under his breath, “y/n pulled jake.”

”no it’s just…” you pause, trying to gather your ideas and choose the right words, “i can’t tell if it’s like that y’know, he didn’t say it like he liked me like that” you confess to the others.

”why don’t you ask him at the afterparty? we’re all going to go,” yujin suggests, trying to cheer you up.

you give him a quiet nod before sitting back into your seat left with your thoughts once again. It wasn’t long before you finally arrived and took you seats in your seat. Thankfully, because you knew sunghoon, you guys were all able to snatch front row seats. shortly after you guys took your seats, the lights switch off to let the performers walk on.

when the lights switch on you eyes are immediately caught on him, wearing a black, wide jeans, a dress shirt, and a tie. simple, yet jaw dropping. so jaw dropping, in fact, that all it took was him spotting you in the crowd and winking at you to make you fully fold, face fully flushed. He also definitely saw the picket and let out a hearty giggle while performing. his smile was perfect, prettier than anything you’ve seen before. sunghoon caught your reaction and gave a soft laugh as well.

everything after that moment felt like a blur, and the next thing you remember was stopping by the afterparty.

the group of dumbasses reunited, now with sunghoon joining, still in his outfit similar to jake’s.

“shit, you guys ate,” minji comments, “you mean ah-tee?” shotaro adds on. everybody laughs uncontrollably, sunghoon made that same mistake on stage when they were doing a mini interview after their performance. “oh my god. i was nervous guys.” sunghoon mumbles, it’s funny to see him embarrassed like this because he’s never like this.

everyone decides to take a shot, “shit, why does soju kinda hit hard” you comment, “i think you’re just bad at drinking,” yujin says while laughing. meanwhile a group of boys caught your eyes, it was the dance group sunghoon is a part of. sunghoon takes notice of this.

“want me to introduce you?” sunghoon asks, with a slight hint of teasing but you could tell that it wasn’t his intention.

you wouldn’t mind taking his offer but just the idea of getting to know them is kind of scary to you. nevertheless you give sunghoon a slight nod as you follow him to the group.

as you greet and give slight bows to the new faces you notice jake wasn’t there. you feel slightly disappointed but it’s nice to at least get to know them.

jungwon grabs and shakes your hand, “hi y/n so nice to meet you!” he says with a big smile, you couldn’t believe he was their leader, he was simply too cute to be one. you return the greeting and another person gives you a soft wave. it was sunoo, also really cute. why are they all so cute? and just when you thought that, you spot a tall figure, riki. you sat there, surprised to hear that he was their youngest. you shake your head to focus back to the conversation.

“do you guys know where the others are?” jungwon asks you two. you shake your head.

“no idea where heeseung and jay are, they probably headed home to play games and sleep.” sunghoon joked, “jake is probably with emilie,” he added on. you give him a confused look but look over it. it was probably one of his friends. after all you don’t really have anything going on with him, at least you think so.

after all of that alcohol and water to wash it down, you begin to get the urge to use the bathroom. at least now you are acquainted with the members you met, enough to excuse yourself to the bathroom without feeling embarrassed. as you walk off, the alcohol makes you feel slightly dizzy and nauseous, but not nauseous enough to notice a familiar figure down the hall to the washroom.

you walk closer to see that it's jake, that cute, hot, aussie boy you know. you could see his beautiful smile once again but not towards you this time. the closer you look you notice that he’s not alone and see another figure, a feminine one. she pulls alongs jake’s tie to tug him towards the bathroom flirtatiously. her arms wrapped around him, where the door to the bathroom closes suddenly.

what had happened had left you stunned and now with both the alcohol, and watching the scene before you leaves you with small tears forming in your eyes that eventually burst into bigger ones. you speed walk away, trying to keep control of your crying to make it quieter but the feeling just keep leaking out. now the crying is combined with random thoughts stroming your mind, ‘he probably didn’t even like me,’ ‘he didn't mean it like that,’ ‘i’m such an idiot,’. your thoughts were interrupted as you bump into a tall figure. the man looks down at you and when you look up at him with semi-red, teary eyes you were able to distinguish that it was one of sunghoon’s friends, heeseung.

heeseung sees the sadened state your in and tries to offer help, “shit, y/n your drunk as fuck. let me get you a ride home,” he says, not knowing your situation and excuses the crying for you being drunk. he doesn’t want to push for any information since he just met you but leaving you there would be too much for him.

The sounds of the party fades as you and heeseung head to his car, his hand on your back trying to comfort you further.

“jesus y/n, next time try to drink less,” heeseung jokes, trying to lighten the mood, and oddly enough your crying started to subside. it was still there of course but you weren’t bawling your eyes anymore. once you plopped in the passenger seat of heeseung’s car it wasn’t too long before you dozed off and passed out.

heeseung would take you to your place but he forgot to ask before he left so he just takes you to his dorm which is shared with sunoo. he tries to poke you awake but you don’t wake up so he carries you all the way to his bed leaves you there as he sets up a seperate one of the floor for himself.

you are soon overtaken by the many events that happened recently to actually get up and your body forces you to rest in the sweet embrace of sleep.

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a/n : hii pookies ! i hope the series has been enjoyable as you read to me trying to write angst for the first time ! lmk if its good or not cuz i actually have no idea how to write it. also feel free to send req’s whenever, i might not respond to it right away but if i’m ever bored then i might get to it !

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taglist ! : (OPEN !) comment or send an ask to be added !

@onlyhyunjin @starchasing-cryptid @bubblztaro @kanattac @nootnootpinguuu @gnusihcom @kkurbys @w0uldyoukissme @ilovejungwonandhaechan @pshwrldd @minoouz

[vodika-vibes]

Hey! I'm back with a second request, if that’s okay! Would you be able to do platonic Tech x Reader with Amaythst??? (if you don't do platonic then romantic works!) and maybe in the evening? Thanks ❤️

Because It's You

Summary: When you have to go to your ex’s house to pick up the last of your belongings, you invite Tech to come with you. He's always helped you feel brave, after all.

Pairing: TBB Tech & F!Reader

Word Count: 820

Prompt: Amethyst - Courageous Love

Warnings: Implications of a physically abusive relationship (reader mentions having to go to a shelter), reader is divorced

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Thank you for your request! I had a hard time keeping this under my word limit, lol. But I hope you like it, it's kind of the only idea that I had, though I might have missed the prompt mark a bit.

“I appreciate you doing this for me, Tech.” You say as he pulls the speeder up in front of a clean looking house. Your former house. In the setting sun it looks far worse than you remember.

It still doesn’t feel right that your ex managed to get the house, not when you bought it and paid for it, but at this point you can’t bring yourself to care. You just want this whole situation to be done.

“I am happy to help.” Tech throws the speeder into park and peers at the house, “Will your ex be here?”

“No. His mother will. Part of the court agreement is that he’s not allowed within 500 yards of me.”

Tech turns his concerned gaze over you, “Perhaps, we should have brought Wrecker.”

You laugh and shake your head, “There’s no need. His mother is a very reasonable woman. She’s the one who helped me secure my divorce lawyer and got me to the shelter without my ex knowing.”

“Not a very good divorce lawyer-”

“Tech.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He throws open his door and steps out of the speeder, just as the front door opens and a woman steps out. She glances at Tech, and then greets you with a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you for arranging this so quickly,” you say as she takes your hands and squeezes them.

“Of course. He’ll be gone for the week, so you needn’t worry about him interrupting us. Do you know what you need to get?”

“We have made a list,” Tech interjects as he steps next to you, “He has not sold anything?”

The woman shakes her head, “He believes that he can win her back.”

You shiver and fold your arms around yourself, “Never going to happen.”

“I told him as much, but he doesn’t believe me.” She releases you and claps, “Now, let’s get your stuff all packed and out of here.” She turns and sweeps back into the house, and you sigh as you follow her inside.

“It appears that you got his mother in the divorce,” Tech jokes quietly as he steps into the house, his nose wrinkling as he takes in the state of the house, “Not much of a housekeeper, is he?”

You shake your head as you step over an empty pizza box, “He never was.” You cast your gaze over to your former mother-in-law, who seems to be more than happy to clean up after her son's mess. “The biggest thing is my mother’s jewelry, I hide those in the ceiling. Everything else can be replaced.”

Tech gazes at you for a moment, and then he nods, “Alright, show me where.”

You lead him through the mess of a house and into a relatively clean spare bedroom. There you point at a small panel in the ceiling, “There.”

It’s fortunate that Tech is so tall, and the fact that the house is old so has low ceilings, because he’s easily able to reach up and push the panel out of the way, to pull a small box out of the ceiling, “Is this it?”

“Yeah. That’s the one.”

Tech hands it to you, and you lift the lid to peer at the jewelry inside. And then you sigh, “It’s all here, still.”

“Good.” He puts the panel back into place and watches as you carefully shut the lid and fold your arms around it, “Are you sure that there is nothing else you want from this place?”

You look around the room for a moment, and then you shake your head, “You know…we were happy once.”

Tech doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then he drapes an arm over your shoulder and pulls you into a side hug, “You can be happy again. When you are ready, and not a moment sooner. And on that day, I am sure that you will have plenty of men lining up to date you.”

You laugh and lean against him, “Thank you, Tech. Really. I never would have been able to come back here without your support.”

“Yes you would have. I just made it easier.” He hugs you one more time and then releases you, “If there is nothing else here you want, we should leave. Hunter has probably started pacing the ship already.”

You laugh softly, “He is something of a worrywart, isn’t he?” You ask fondly.

“He is protective of you and Omega. We all are. He is just grumpy that you chose me to escort you over him.”

“Well, Hunter would have killed my ex if he was here. You’re slightly less likely to kill him.”

Tech laughs and tugs on your braid, before he leaves the room. “If that is what you choose to believe.”

You blink after him. “Tech? Tech! You…you wouldn’t have killed him? Right? Tech?” You chase after him, intent on getting your answer.

[bangtanmix73]

Hi! This is my first time requesting anything! Can I request a Twilight fic where the reader is a female Quileute shifter, and some from the pack react to their physical changes after shifting?

Like maybe pre-shift, they start off shorter, maybe a bit chubbier or even scrawny but after they disappear for a while to go through the shifting process, they come back, and they've grown much taller and more toned and muscular like the rest of the pack.

I kinda want to focus on Leah, Paul, Embry, or Seth's reactions in maybe a headcanon form in monogamous relationships. Maybe they imprinted on the reader before the shift but weren't allowed to see them as they were having a really tough time with all the major physical changes.

Any of them are fine, whichever one or ones you feel most comfortable with. If you can do all or some of them, that's great, if you can only do one, that's cool too! Writing is time consuming and if you can't or won't write for 4 characters, I understand!

I apologize if this is too specific, but I've had this idea for such a long time! I love your work and hope you can figure out a way to write my kinda strange request! Don't feel pressured to write this quickly, I know you'll do great!

Characters: Seth, Leah, Paul and Embry

Note: I am slow at writing so bare with me here. I don’t really like this so I might go back and fix this later. Also this is fem!reader as requested :).

Warnings: slight cursing, mentions of homophobia, my writing, this happened in the storylines of Twilight, fear of rejection.

Embry 

You were friends with Jacob, Embry, and Quil before they shifted. Quil never stopped contact with you, though was very little.  

You ended up running into them in the woods, they were shirtless, they didn’t do that before. You stormed up to them, demanding an explanation.  

Once he made eye contact with you, he froze. The Earth was ripped from him, gravity wasn’t what was keeping him here, it was her.  

You started shaking like you were about to shift. Quil forced Embry, despite him just imprinting, and Jacob to go get Sam. Embry wanted to protest, but he needed time to process what just happened. 

It was a few days before he saw you again. Poor boy was anxious the whole time. Sam brought you to officially meet the whole pack. 

When you walked in, he felt like he lost his breath. You were still you yet...different. 

You were taller than before; you were more toned and muscular like the rest of them. 

You were still pissed at the trio, but you understood why they avoided you now. To make the situation worse, or better, depends on how you see it, you made eye contact with Embry. You froze, the Earth was ripped from you, gravity wasn’t what was keeping you here, it was him. You were beyond confused on why you felt this way. You made eye contact with the rest of the pack, nothing. Why just Embry? 

“I suppose you and Embry should take a walk.” Even though Sam was alpha, he wanted to leave the imprint talk between the two wolves. 

Embry took your hand, walking you out of Emily’s house. You allowed him to drag you into the woods. You were walking for 15 minutes before you got fed up, yanking your hand back from his. 

“Are you going to explain what the fuck happened back there?” You demanded answers. You wanted to know why you felt like that when you made eye contact with just him. 

Embry turned to you and sighed. “Don’t freak out, ok?” 

“I’ll try.” You crossed your arms over your chest. 

“What happened when you made eye contact with me back at Emily’s is called imprinting.” He paused. You nodded him to continue. “Imprinting is like when you see them, they’re all that matters. It’s no longer gravity, they are the only one keeping you here. You’d do anything for them, their happiness, their safety. It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. It can be a brother, a best friend, a protector or something more. She’s you. For you, it’s me. I imprinted back when you stormed up to us in the woods.” 

You stood silent for a minute, letting it all sink in. “What do we do now?” 

“Well, if you don’t want it, we can reject the bond and move on.” You felt a pang of sadness at the mention of rejecting the bond, you knew he felt it too. 

“No, I don’t want to reject it. I don’t know what I want exactly, but we’ll figure it out along the way.” 

Leah

Now, Leah had a hard time in general, her boyfriend leaving her for her cousin, the shift, her father's death, she couldn’t get a break. The last thing she expected was to imprint, and she definitely wasn’t expecting a woman.

You come over to Emily’s often to visit your brother, Jared. Despite visiting often, Leah never once made eye contact with you. She didn’t know why you wouldn’t look at her, but you did. You had a crush on her. You didn’t want to make it obvious because you scared what your brother thought. You just didn’t know you were horrible at hiding, well to everyone, but Leah.

Jared wasn’t happy about your little crush and he definitely wasn’t happy when Leah imprinted on you. It wasn’t homophobia, it was just you were his sister and he didn’t want you dragged into this world more than you already were. Boy, was he in for a big surprise.

Today, you decided to visit the pack. When you showed up, they were being unnecessarily mean to Leah. Quite frankly, you were fed up.

“What are your problems? As far as I know, she hasn’t done anything to deserve you being assholes to her.” The pack went quiet. “So, you bully her for no reason?” No response. “Idiots,” you mumbled.

Leah snickered at your comment. You looked at her, making eye contact. She froze, looking shocked. You look away, blushing. All of a sudden, your brother shot up from his seat.

“Oh, hell no,” he exclaimed. “I know that did NOT just happen.”

“What?” You looked between Leah and Jared. “What’s wrong?”

Jared stormed up to Leah. “You imprinted on my sister?!” Leah looked like she was struggling to get words out.

“You know we can’t control it, Jared. I’m just as shocked as you are.” She tried reasoning with your brother.

“Would someone tell me what’s going on?! What’s an imprint?!” You started shaking, not because of anger, you were stressed. It was obvious whatever Jared was upset about had something to do with you.

“Sam, she’s shaking!” Quil called out.

“Is she going to shift?” Seth questioned, slightly panicked.

“Leah, get her out of here.” Sam ordered. Jared was about to argue before Sam shut him down. “She’s her imprint, Leah is better off helping her.”

Jared let Leah help you, but not without complaining.

You ended up imprinting on her as well.

Once you were able to shift back, Leah saw how different you looked, more toned and taller, like her. She wasn’t going to deny it, she was into you.

She explained everything to you. The shifting, the imprinting, and what it meant for you.

You accepted the imprint, and gave her the world she deserves.

Seth

You were the new girl at school, well, new-ish. You moved out when you were young, but you still struggling as you remember no one. You were having a hard time with the new school, no friends, and overall, new environment.

Seth just wanted to help the new girl out, he didn’t expect to imprint.

After talking with the pack, he decided the best way was to ease you into everything, but nothing goes as planned.

You ended up shifting at the end of your second week on the reservation. Poor baby Seth didn’t even know until Sam, Paul, and Jared came back from patrol with you.

By time Sam, Jared and Paul came back with you, it was only Seth, Leah, Emily, Quil and Embry there. Who knows where Jacob is.  As they walked in Emily’s house, everyone there glanced up with greetings then went back to what they were doing before.

“Are you boys hungry?” Emily questioned before she turned, spotting a new figure. “Who's this?”

Everyone looked up at you, making you shrink back into yourself from the unwanted attention. “That’s Y/N. She just shifted,” Sam answered as he made a bee-line towards Emily. She smiled as Sam kissed her.

Pulling away from Sam, Emily’s eyes immediately met yours. “Hi, I’m Emily, Sam’s fiancé.” She pulled away from Sam, placing chicken on a plate, setting it down on the table. “Sit, you must be hungry.” She gestured to the only seat left opened.

You took it with a small “thank you.” You sat next to Seth, feeling relieved to at least recognize someone.

Meanwhile, Seth was struggling not to make eye contact with you. He didn’t want the weight of the imprint bond put on you. Moreover, he feared rejection and the pain that came with it.

He noticed how different you looked after the shift. You were taller, tall as or taller than his sister. You were more toned and muscular. He never stared long, he felt like he was being a creep by staring.

You loosened up around the pack fairly quickly. You even got close with Leah, but Seth barely looked at you despite helping you the first couple of weeks you moved back.

One day, before patrol, you cornered him.

“Is there something wrong with me?” You demanded. You wanted answers and you wanted them now.

“No-”

“Then why won’t you look at me?” You interrupted. You knew you were being rude and hard on the sweet boy, but it was stressing you. Seth didn’t bother responding, he knew if he got it done and over with, you’d know and get the rejection over with.

When Seth made eye contact with you, making you freeze. When you snapped out of it, you wondered “what was that?”

He took a deep breath, “You imprinted on me. Imprinting is like when you see them, they’re all that matters. It’s no longer gravity, they are the only one keeping you here. You’d do anything for them, their happiness, their safety. It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. It can be a brother, a best friend, a protector or something...else. I’ve already imprinted. You don’t have to accept the bond; I don’t want to force you into anything.”

You went silent for a couple minutes. He thought you were trying to find a way to let him down easy. You weren’t, you were just trying to process what he just said.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to accept.”

You shook your head, instantly dismissing his worry about your refusal. “No, I think I want to try this out.”  

You swore you have never seen someone with a smile as big as his in that moment. He suddenly pulled you in a hug, but was welcome nonetheless.

Paul

You were friends with Embry, Jacob, and Quil before they shifted. When Embry and Jacob disappeared, they kept little contact with you, but hey, it was something.

Every time you talked, they hinted at what they were. You were their best friend, they wanted you to know. What they didn’t know is you caught on pretty quickly to what they were, you just never said anything as it wasn’t your business.

You met Bella through Jacob while they were repairing the motorcycles together. When Jacob disappeared, she confided in you. She dragged you everywhere with her. This time, she dragged you to confront Jacob about what he was.

Jacob was asleep by time you got to his house, but Bella saw the rest of the pack outside and decided to confront them instead. Which led to where you currently were.

“What did you do?!” Bella stormed towards Sam, clearly on a mission here. You were only a step behind her.

“What did you do to him?” She shoved into Sam. There was a chorus of “Bella, stop”, “watch out”, and “easy”.

“He didn’t want this.” You stopped next to her, standing in between her and Sam, slightly.

“What did we do? What did he do? What did he tell you?” Judging by what Embry and Jacob told you, that was Paul and the shorter one next to him was Jared.

“Both of you calm down,” Sam tried calming the situation.

“He tells me or Y/N nothing because he’s scared of you!” Paul and Jared started laughing at this. Paul looked at you, making eye contact. His smile faltered. You barely caught it before Bella punched him.

“Bella!” You reprimanded her. Paul started breathing heavily. You had a bad feeling about this.

“I think we should move,” you tried tugging her out of the way.

“Bella, Y/N, get back!” You moved to the side, closer to Embry. “Paul, calm down.”

Then it happened.

He shifted.

Out of shock, you tripped over your feet and fell backwards. Embry came up behind you, pulling you out of the way.  

Everything was a blur, it was confusing. First, you were shaking, then you had paws? Were you a wolf?! Now, you were scared and confused.

Paul, in wolf form, trotted over to you, nosing you, completely forgetting about Bella. ‘Are you alright?’ his voice sounded like it was in your head.

‘What the fuck? Why is your voice in my head?’

‘We have a mind-link when we are in our wolf form,’ Paul responded. You looked up at him, freezing like he did just moments before.

Paul took you into the woods where he came from with the pack (minus Jacob). He taught you to shift back. Jacob gave you clothes beforehand.  

Yes, Paul turned as you changed because he’s a gentleman.

But clothes didn’t stop him from seeing the difference between you now and you before. Being a gentleman certainly didn’t stop him from complimenting you, we are talking about Paul here.

He, then, sat you down on the ground to explain everything, well, most things. He was shocked you know the majority about shifting and wolves.

When he explained imprinting, you were a bit tentative about the whole thing. You suggested going slow with the imprint thing, but you accepted it nonetheless.

[cuubism]

fem!dream has me by the THROAT

----

This is… a revelation.

Hob really thought he'd passed his "learning about his sexuality" phase a good six hundred years ago. But he just might be having another sexual awakening right now.

It's because it's Dream. This kind of thing always happens with Dream. Hob supposes it's the inevitable result of being with someone whose form doesn't follow the bounds of material reality.

"Do you like what you see, Hob Gadling?" Dream asks, a smirk dancing on his lips. Same smirk as always, slightly different lips.

"I always like when I see you," Hob says. Dream props his– her?-- ah fuck it doesn't matter– arm on the back of the couch, head in her hand. Clearly pleased. Flattery always works in these situations, always. Bloody vain creature. 

There's none of the hesitation Hob had seen when Dream had revealed her more… nightmarish, her more otherworldly forms. There's only confidence here, utter assurance of her glory. As well she should.

"You're gorgeous," Hob tells her. "You're glorious. You always are." 

She's different like this. Subtly. Hob would have still been able to pick her out of a crowd at a hundred meters, but she's… fluid. Her angles are softened. Her legs seem even longer than usual where they're pulled up on the couch, delicate ankles crossed. Thin, familiar fingers press against a plusher lower lip. Cheekbones that cut even sharper. Strong jaw that pulls more narrow. Glinting galaxy eyes with long, fine lashes.

Hob is getting lost in the details. The point is that Dream is a vision, the bodily equivalent of draped silk, and Hob has never in his life been more grateful to be bisexual.

"This is very distracting to you," Dream murmurs, and Hob realizes Dream had said something else to him before and he hadn't even heard it. 

"Are you surprised?" Hob asks, leaning his head on his arm against the back of the couch so their eyes meet. "Wasn't that your intention?"  

"I was curious," says Dream. 

Famous last words for Hob’s sanity. "By which you mean you wanted to knock me on my ass, metaphorically speaking."

"I did wish to have you on your back," Dream agrees. Her voice is higher, like this, more alto than baritone, but still with that hazy, hypnotic melody to it.

Fucking hell.

"You know you'll get what you want, you always do." Hob brushes his ankle against Dream's. It's the only place they're touching, which is agony but Hob can't say he's not enjoying the tension. Or the view.

Dream runs a hand through her hair, twisting the long strands around her fingers. Her hair is a mess, sex-mussed and chaotic even though they’ve done nothing more than sit opposite each other here on the couch while Hob drinks Dream in with his eyes. It's… upsetting, in the daydreams it creates. 

“You know, it’s still mental to me that you can do this sort of thing in the real–” Hob cuts himself off and holds up an appeasing hand before Dream can object– “the waking world. Like, dreams, sure, anything can happen in dreams, right? But then you show up here one day and you have actual flesh-and-blood honest to God tits, you can’t just do that to me.” 

Hob half-expects Dream to automatically rejoin with my tits are also real in the Dreaming, so used is she to correcting Hob on the nature of dreams and their reality. The fact that she restrains herself is a tragedy, as that would possibly have been the funniest line Hob had ever heard come out of her mouth.

“I can choose how I wish my physical form to manifest,” Dream says, heavy-lidded gaze locked on Hob’s, “as you well know.”

“Do I ever,” Hob mutters.

“I have grown used to one shape but that does not mean that it is fixed.” 

“Can you manifest yourself as anything?” Hob asks.

“Anything that dreams,” Dream says.

“So you aren’t going to show up in my flat as a neutron star or something.”

“Do you think that stars dream, Hob?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never asked one.”

Dream just keeps looking at him with the slightest raise of her eyebrow, and Hob leans forward.

“Wait, can they–?”

“Hob Gadling,” Dream interrupts, “I am here before you, scarcely clothed, wearing a form that I know you are pleased by, and what you want to discuss is the finer points of my personal metaphysics?”

“Your personal metaphysics are very important to me, actually,” Hob teases, and gets a frustrated huff in return. 

“We have plenty of time,” Hob continues. “And you know I like learning about you.” He winks. “Like looking at you, too.”

Dream rolls her eyes and says, sounding put out, “You can look from closer up.”

Hob holds out a hand. “Alright, come here, then.”

Dream unfolds herself from the corner of the couch, so very like fabric indeed, and drapes herself onto Hob’s lap, settling on him weightless as always. Hob holds her by her waist, feels the familiar sharp bones of her hips. 

She’s wearing some sort of robe of soft velvet, fur lining the collar. It looks simultaneously two hundred years old and like it could have walked off the rack of a boutique lingerie shop yesterday evening. Is she wearing anything under it? No, Hob thinks, of course not. 

Hob rubs his fingers over the hem. “Where did you even get this? Pull it from someone’s dream?”

“Of course.” Dream lays her arms over his shoulders. The velvet brushes his skin; it’s ridiculously soft. “They were dreaming of an old film, I believe.”

This sort of luxurious, revealing garment is something Hob would not have batted an eye at her wearing in the Dreaming, but to see it here, in the waking world, where Dream is usually so buttoned up… it makes him feel some kind of way, and that way is mostly sad. 

“So, what, you stick with your usual body most of the time because you like it best, or you’re just used to it, or what?” he asks. Hob has found that if he wants to ask Dream about something touchy, it is best to ease in and do so in a roundabout way. Dream operates in dreams, fantasy, story, metaphor and allusion – she will find her way to what he’s really asking if she so wishes.

And once again, Hob’s decision to turn the doorknob but not force open the door is rewarded. 

“It is comfortable to me,” Dream says. “To the extent that any physical form is. However I confess that I…” she hesitates, and Dream rarely struggles to find words so it must be something she isn’t sure she wants to say. “I am finding… relief… in this form that has not been brutalized so by this world.”

Hob kisses the corner of her mouth, heart aching, and Dream leans her cheek against his. Her wild hair brushes his nose. Dream’s hair is always sticking up all over the place, but it strikes Hob suddenly that that wasn’t the case across all of their meetings – not until recently. He has seen Dream’s hair long and short, tied back and left loose, hardly controlled, always dramatic, but this level of utter dishevelment, that’s new.

He doesn’t know how much he should read into that; Dream is simultaneously the most intentional person he knows and also the literal personification of unconscious decision-making, so. Who’s to say, really.

“It is, of course, still I who has suffered,” Dream continues, “but this skin has not touched glass.”

Hob hurts for her, always, always hurts for her, but he’s relieved, also, to see her finding even momentary peace. And if he can provide it, even better. 

“I understand, love.” He thumbs over her lower lip, then holds her face in his hand. “The self is more than skin deep, but the skin is still part of it.”

Dream tilts her head. “Unusually poetic, Hob.”

“Unusually?” Hob protests. “Hey, I can manage it sometimes!”

A familiar smile touches Dream’s lips. “Perhaps.”

“Perhaps. I see you are as usually rude as always.”

“Did you think this form would temper me?” Dream raises an eyebrow, haughty glimmer in her eyes.

“Nothing could temper you.” Hob fits his hands under the sharp angles of her jaw. “You are the hard edges and brilliance and artistry of stained glass and don’t you know I love it?”

Dream kisses him, just a press of her lips against his, and hums, “Poetic. You do manage it. But I shall not ascribe to you an adjective; you have held too many to be so easily defined.”

“By which–” Hob runs his fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck; God, it’s nice when it's long “--you mean I am really old and have seen too much shit.”

“You have lived many lives,” Dream agrees. “Sculpted and resculpted again.”

“And we’re back to the art metaphors. Dream, did it hurt when you were thrown out the window of the National Gallery?”

For all the teasing, though, Hob is touched, always, by Dream’s regard for him.

“They did not want me at the gallery?” Dream asks. It’s always so easy to rope her into this weird sort of banter; Hob thinks it’s her natural language more so than direct communication is. 

She asks this while kissing him, though, so it takes a moment for Hob to respond. He considers not responding at all in favor of drinking in her lips for longer. “They wanted your beauty, they just couldn’t manage you.”

“And you can, Hob Gadling?” Challenging now, eyebrow raised, fingertips pressing into the back of Hob’s neck. 

Hob laughs. “God, no. How dare I.”

Dream’s mouth cuts into a sharp, satisfied smile. Hob hadn’t thought she could possibly be a sharper-edged person than she already is in her usual, masculine body, but somehow, despite the softer curves of her here, she’s managing it. It’s devastating. 

Hob has never claimed to be a strong man where Dream is concerned, which is fortunate, because that notion would have been decimated so thoroughly by now as to be embarrassing.

“I do like to try to hold you, though,” he says. “If one can hold a dream.”

“You’ve held on to life when you weren’t supposed to,” Dream points out. “That seems to have worked out well.”

“Hmmm.” Hob pulls her close, wraps his arms around the warm vibrancy of her. “So I’ll be rewarded for my hubris, again?”

“Perhaps.” Again, that crafty smile.

“I’m not going to keep you,” Hob tells her. There’s no keeping Dream; hell, Dream can’t even be kept in one body. Dream isn’t simple, and Hob wouldn’t want her to be. “But I’m not letting you go, either.”

“No.” Dream kisses the corner of his eye, right over the smile lines that have settled there, deeper, Hob thinks, in the year since their reunion than in all the centuries before. “I shouldn’t think so.”

[dawndelion-winery]

I Like You! (Not)

Alhaitham × GN! Reader

College au! Academic Rivals to Lovers

[4] - Perfect Pair

When you'd finally dragged yourself into class in a daze, you were left with no other seat but beside Alhaitham. To your dismay, your peers giggled at the sight, and though their laughter bore no malice, you couldn't help but feel it was a cruel mockery.

"I saved you a seat, my love," Alhaitham hummed as you set you things down, seemingly not noticing or caring about the scowl pressed upon your face.

"How thoughtful," you scoffed.

"Are you still upset I told everyone? I thought you'd be quite pleased with it, given your jealous tendencies. Everyone knows to leave me alone now."

He grinned a soft, proud smile as though he'd done something praiseworthy. You, on the other hand, could only manage a look of befuddlement. Now? Did people not already leave him to his own devices before?? You'd never pegged Alhaitham as the delusional sort, but looking at his recent behaviour, you just might need to reconsider that.

You would have snapped at him had it not been for the professor scuttling in hurriedly. The wizened old man greeted everyone apologetically and dove right into the lecture so as to avoid wasting anymore time.

Oh how you stared daggers at Alhaitham. Throughout the lecture, your mind wandered, unable to focus on the professor's words. Maybe if you had paid more attention, you'd have noticed everyone scurrying to get into their desired pairs before you were stuck with Alhaitham. He hadn't even had the decency to ask if you wanted to partner up with him because in his words: "Isn't it a given we'd work together now that we're dating? I assumed you'd be thrilled to have an excuse to see me more often, not that you need one."

As if to add insult to injury, your professor looked positively delighted by the pairing. While it was understandable he'd be excitedly anticipating what wonders his two brightest students might concoct, it seemed like nothing more than vicious mockery to you in that moment. Surely you couldn't be the only person disgruntled by it. (You were. Everyone else was fully behind it.) Well, you could always get back at them by raising the bell curve.

The true problem was with how comfortable Alhaitham was with sitting uncomfortably close to you. Now, he has never been known to be a particularly physically affectionate person, mind you. So what exactly was his business being all up in your space?

"I can feel your thigh against mine, and in case you can't tell, that's an indicator of how into my personal space you've gotten," you deadpanned after about a minute of waiting for him to move away on his own.

"I'm well aware, you mentioned your type was someone affectionate. I would presume that included small gestures like sharing personal space." Yet again he shocked you with his audacity. Your type? Was he really trying to conform to your type? He had to be joking. There was absolutely no way you'd get along with him let alone be into him. That would only prove everyone right about the two of you being a dream team, and that's unthinkable! No matter how right they probably were, you refused to accept it.

Which meant operation "give Alhaitham the ick" was a go.

It should have been simple enough; Alhaitham wasn't exactly a difficult person to be disliked by. So why was it, then, that every irritating little thing you did was perceived with adoration? You kept borrowing his stationary without asking? Sure, what's his is yours. Leaning over to see his laptop screen, effectively blocking him and getting in the way of his work? You're always a welcome disruption, a damn sight nicer than work. Of course, all of this wasn't without some sarcastic quip from him every now and then, but his tone was always light, gentle even, rather than scornful.

What happened to the Alhaitham who'd find even the most trivial excuse to evade social situations?

Taglist: @vernith @bubblegum-angelquartz @ayanokomu @hannya-writes @oh-allie @sane-genshin-fan @makimakimi

[aperrywilliams]

Don't Go to See Her (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

(Not my gif. Credits to the creator!)

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Summary: After the team saved Austin, the signs point that she and Spencer are romantically involved. Reader is not amused by the idea. Are her suspicions correct?

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Some curse words (maybe more than usual, I don't know). Sleeping together is mentioned but not described. Spoilers for 4x9. If I forgot something, let me know.

A/N: I wrote this one based on this request. Tell me what you think!

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Founding Robert Parker's location wasn't as difficult as we thought. But we needed to be faster: the clock was ticking, and a girl's life was on the line.

Arriving at the house, we split into two groups—Morgan, Hotch, and Reid leading the first one. With Prentiss and Rossi, we stayed behind.

It was odd, though. I know Spencer doesn't like the takedowns that much, but this time he insisted on going with Morgan in the advanced group.

The commotion lasted a few seconds until Morgan assured us he had got Parker and the girl was safe. As Rossi and Prentiss entered the house to check, I saw Spencer with the girl coming out. As expected, she looked shocked but physically fine. I approached to assist them.

The poor thing was shaking and kept muttering, "I called you, I called you," which seemed strange to me, but Spencer only nodded, saying, "I know, you did very good; now you're safe."

That got my attention, but I didn't give it much thought; it could be the adrenaline of the moment affecting the girl, and Reid was just playing along.

We returned to the precinct with the unsub in custody. After Hotch interrogated him getting a full confession, we needed to finish the paperwork before going home. I couldn't help but notice Spencer wasn't there, though. What happened to him? When I saw Morgan, I asked him.

"Maybe he's with his girlfriend," he pointed, chuckling.

Spencer? Girlfriend? What did I miss?

"His what? Who?" I asked, confused.

"The girl we saved. She's a bartender. Did you know Reid charmed her the other night in the club she works? That's why she had his number and called him when she saw the unsub," Morgan recounted.

I was taken aback. I didn't know that. It made sense, though: that's why Spencer was so adamant about going first into the house. How did I not notice sooner?

"Oh. I didn't know," I mumbled.

"Yeah, it seems pretty boy got game," Morgan teased. "Do you need him for something?" He asked.

"No. Not really. Just curious. Uh - thanks, Morgan," I hastened to say before moving quickly to the precinct's kitchen.

I didn't want Derek to see me… freaking out.

Now, why should I?

Well, maybe because I have been developing a massive crush on Spencer in the past years? And maybe thinking of him with another girl was the fear I wasn't ready to face? Not yet, at least.

Okay, I know it sounds selfish, but either way, I can't bring myself to make a move on him. And I think I will never do it. That would mean ruining our friendship, and keeping Spencer as my friend is more important than this stupid crush.

It has to be.

But it didn't help that Hotch sent us to the hotel for the night, and I couldn't see Spencer in the lobby with Morgan or any team member.

He wasn't there.

Once in my room, I tried to calm down and not overthink the situation. What if they only were talking and hanging out? Maybe in a friendly manner. Nothing to worry about, right?

Or a lot to worry about.

The next morning we were all in the jet, ready to fly back home—all but Spencer.

"Where is Reid?" Hotch asked. As a cue, Spencer rushed in, mumbling apologies for being late.

He sat by my side. It wasn't uncommon for Spencer to do that. When I joined the team two years ago, I started sitting by his side. He didn't complain, and even he found in me someone who didn't bother his rambling, quite the opposite: someone who fueled his habit with delight.

What can I say? I have always felt comfortable around Spencer. We are still the youngest team members, and the flights have been more fun with us talking or just reading next to each other.

This time, Morgan and Rossi were in front of us.

"How was your night, Romeo? I didn't hear you when you came back," Morgan teased. Spencer's face flushed red as he briefly looked at me.

Oh, God. My mind ran wild, and I didn't like what I imagined. I turned my face to the window to not return my gaze to him.

"Leave the kid alone," Rossi told Morgan, maybe because he wanted to spare him the mortification of telling details of his night.

His night with the girl I was jealous of right now.

After Rossi's warning, Morgan dropped the topic and stood to get comfortable on the couch so he could sleep. David did the same but took a seat at the back of the plane. I didn't dare to look at Spencer, so I faked being asleep most of the flight. Even so, I could see from the corner of my eye how he was texting someone. From time to time, his gaze shifted to me, but I pretended not to notice.

My heart ached, but it was my fault. I shouldn't have entertained the idea of having Spencer as someone more than a friend.

For the rest of our flight, I kept my eyes closed. And when we landed, I was the first to descend from the jet to run to the car. I could hear Spencer calling my name, but I didn't turn back. I was overwhelmed, and I wanted to be at home.

It wasn't something I did on purpose, but I couldn't help it. In the following days, I paid extra attention to Spencer's behavior. He seemed happy and relaxed. He focused more on his phone during the day, and it was obvious why.

Fuck. I had lost my chance.

Son of the bitch. I bet they were dating now.

Sadness led to anger. But I knew I had no right to be angry, so I changed my attitude to distant and quiet. Spencer noticed my behavior change, and he obviously wanted to know why. So every chance he got, he asked me something, whatever came to his mind. Spencer looked extra attentive to me, worried when I hadn't eaten or drank enough water during a case. Even he brought me coffee almost every morning.

But for every gesture he made, he only got sourness from me.

The times Spencer asked me something, I gave him curt answers. The times he brought me a coffee in the morning, I usually would leave it untouched.

I know it wasn't an acceptable reaction for a grown-up woman, but I got all bitterness and couldn't help it.

"Are you okay?" He asked me in the BAU's kitchen one afternoon. I didn't even look at him.

"Yep," I replied, grabbing a mug to fill it with coffee. Spencer cleared his throat like when he was hesitant about something.

"You seem- I don't know. We haven't talked that much in the past few days; I-" Spencer stuttered. I knew he was trying to get me talking, but I didn't want it. I didn't want anything but go home a cry my eyes out.

"I guess it's because you have been busy," I muttered bitterly. But Spencer didn't hear what I said.

"What?"

"Nothing. Forget it," I said curtly, passing by him to go back to my desk.

Things between us have become even more distant since that. Spencer stopped asking me questions. The usual morning coffee ceased too. I didn't sit by his side in the jet anymore.

Now the text messages began to turn into phone calls. I could see how Spencer laughed over the phone and blushed whenever she probably said something more spicy to him. I hated perceiving all those things.

The worst part is that the team noticed it too, which was evident. For God's sake, I work surrounded by the best profilers in the country. What else could happen?

First, it was Emily who asked me if everything was okay. I lied, saying everything was just fine. Then it was Morgan telling me that he saw Spencer and me acting differently. I lied again, claiming I didn't know what he was talking about.

Even Garcia questioned me one day about my relationship with Reid.

I don't know if they believed what I told them, but at least they didn't keep asking questions.

-

Fighting against your own feelings is exhausting and useless to a certain extent. As much as I tried to convince myself that it was best for Spencer to have someone that wasn't me, my inner self continued to mourn for what would never be between us.

That may be why I felt like throwing up when I heard Spencer ask Hotch for days off to go on a trip. It was worse when I saw the plane ticket on his desk: a non-stop flight to Atlanta.

That afternoon we were going through some files in the conference room. Nobody else was there. So I couldn't stop my mouth.

"You never take days off," I pointed out.

Spencer's eyes shifted from the files to meet mine, and I could see his frown. At this point, we had weeks without talking about anything but work-related stuff.

"Pardon?" He asked.

I should have relented, but my lips got life on their own. Better said: my thoughts made their way out before I could stop them.

"I saw your flight ticket. You'll go to see your girlfriend?" I asked, trying to sound like it was nothing.

Spencer's face turned red, his lips pressing tightly and jaw clenched.

"Who?" He questioned, narrowing his eyes.

"The girl from Atlanta, Spencer. Who else?" I said, as it was stupid even asking that.

"Austin," he corrected. "Her name is Austin. And no, she's not my girlfriend," he said curtly.

"Whatever," I muttered, shrugging.

Spencer looked pissed. I didn't know why exactly. I thought it was clear we assumed he had a relationship with the Atlanta girl. But I kind of understood his nuisance: I didn't talk to him in a while, and I was doing it now to show my annoyance for something I didn't have the right to.

"So what if I go? Is there a problem? I have plenty of vacation days," Spencer said defensively, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know that. Since I have known you, you barely took a vacation," I commented. It was the truth. Spencer never takes days off.

It wasn't the important thing, though.

"So what is it (Y/N)? There is an issue for you?"

Spencer's question was the second call for me to let it go, but no.

"Not an issue for me, believe me. I mean, you can do whatever you want with your life," I said in the most deadpan tone possible. That way, I could cover my real feelings.

Spencer's gaze kept on me, barely blinking, waiting for what could come next.

I huffed in annoyance before continuing.

"But how much do you know this woman anyway? How can you be sure she is not playing with your feelings, uh?"

Because, of course, I had to phrase it like I was the concerned friend, not the way it indeed was: as the hurt and jealous girl.

Spencer seemed like he didn't expect what I said.

"What? Is that really what worries you?"

Of course not, genius. But I can't tell you that.

I kept silent, hoping I wouldn't give myself away if I said more words.

"What's wrong with you, people? Now everyone thinks the same fucking thing? First Morgan, then Penelope, and now you. You don't know her!"

Spencer Reid just cursed and yelled? That wasn't good.

I physically took a step back. Maybe I pushed too hard.

"That's because I worry - we worry about you. We don't want you to get hurt," I tried to explain. It was partially true. I would never find a girl who could fulfill all my expectations for Spencer, but even if I tried, I was sure Austin wasn't even at the bottom of the list.

"Get hurt? You don't know what you are talking about!" Spencer shrieked. It was good that the door was closed because, at this point, someone could have heard our argument.

"And you don't know her! What do you think? She surely flirts with a lot of guys! You are another check on her list!" I rebutted, trying to match his tone.

Was I being unfair? Most likely, but I was already on this line of reasoning. I hated myself for it because I should be honest with him. He is my friend, after all.

I was accusing a girl of something without reason, just founded on my bias and compromised judgment.

Spencer scoffed and shook his head.

"Last time I checked, I was a grown-up man (Y/N). I can make my own decisions, you know? And for the record, I could have expected this from anyone but you," he informed sternly. I saw the disappointment written all over his face.

Shit. I fucked it up. I hurt Spencer with my misconstrued speech of 'friend's worry.' It broke my heart to hear him talk that way. I needed to do something to fix it. I closed my eyes and sighed to collect my thoughts. He had the right to be pissed.

"Spencer, I know. I'm sorry. I - I didn't want to sound like you weren't an adult. I have never wanted to hurt or underestimate you. You are my friend," I tried to apologize, softening my voice.

"So why are you so upset? Don't think I didn't notice you've been avoiding me in the past weeks. Did I do something?"

Spencer seemed truly worried about my behavior.

"No, Spencer. You - you did not," I tried to reassure him. Looking at his hurt eyes, I told myself I couldn't lose him for a thing like this. If he feels happy with her, so be it. My role is to support him, not question that. "I - uh. I have been a little out of me recently. But it's not your fault. I guess I'm just a bit stressed after the last cases we had."

Great, keep lying (Y/N). Keep lying.

"It's that so? Are you sure there is not something else?" Spencer asked for confirmation, inspecting my features. What did those eyes mean? Like they were pleading for something that I didn't know.

I nodded regardless. "Yeah. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," I told him with a tiny smile.

I'll be fine. Those words were mostly for me. However, Spencer believed them because that led to stopping our argument. After we hugged, he promised to have a coffee to talk.

The coffee talk never came, though. I used all my excuses to avoid having a heart-to-heart conversation with Spencer. He tried, but I wasn't ready. Maybe I will never be prepared.

-

Days passed, and Spencer's trip was around the corner.

That last afternoon, he went to my desk to say goodbye. His flight was booked for the following day.

"I get going now," he announced, fidgeting with his satchel's strap. I stood to give him a tight hug.

"Have a good flight. And - uh - have fun, okay?" I mumbled after parting from our embrace and patting his chest. His lips formed a tiny smile.

"That's is what you want for me? I mean, me to have fun?" He asked shyly. I cocked my head. Was he asking for my blessing to do whatever he was thinking of doing with Austin?

"Spencer Reid. You deserve all the good things in this world. Everything that could make you happy. And if this trip is one of them, then it is what I want," I told him reassuringly.

He looked at me with that beautiful hazel eyes of his. I could have melted right there and then.

After kissing my cheek, he left the bullpen.

I stood there as if the world had just ended. Yeah, it sounds dramatic, but tell that to my poor broken heart.

Next step: rush to the bathroom to cry.

The cold tile didn't even matter. I was sitting on the floor, knees to my chest, arms around my legs. The tears ran freely. That was until I heard a knock on the door.

"(Y/N), are you there?" It was Emily.

Shit, not now, please.

"Can I come in?" She tried again. After a few minutes when I realized Emily didn't leave. I sighed in defeat and barely moved to unlock the door so she could get in.

"Hey! Are you okay?" Emily asked. Not a very assertive question. My answer could have done better.

"Ye - yeah," I sniffled, whipping my tears with the back of my hand.

"Uh - sorry, but you don't look like you are," Emily pointed. "If I have to guess, I would say something to do with Reid," she ventured.

"No. It's not like that. I mean -" I trailed off.

How could I ever explain this? Emily sat on the floor, too, by my side.

"This is about his trip to Atlanta?" I hid my head between my legs but nodded nevertheless.

"Do you think they got romantically involved, and that's why he is flying there?"

"I don't know Em. And I wish I could stop thinking about that," I muffled my words between my arms. Emily rubbed my shoulder to comfort me.

"You really like him, uh?" I tilted my head up, an embarrassed look adorning my face.

"Me? What?" Emily chuckled.

"Come on. Everybody knows (Y/N), minus Reid. Which is very unbelievable, but it's Reid. You like him. And it can be an understatement because, at this point, I would say it's more than that," she stated, now crisscrossing her legs and gazing at me for confirmation. I darted my eyes to the floor in resignation.

"Fuck. Is that obvious?" I mumbled.

"Yep," Emily pointed. "That obvious, indeed."

"But Emily. I can't. He's my friend. And I can't lose him."

That was my biggest fear, even if now I felt like I was drowning because of unrequited love.

"So you prefer to lie to him? Pretend it doesn't hurt and play the good friend card? That's not healthy. And you'll end up losing him anyway. Spencer would appreciate it if you were honest with him, and you deserve to be honest with yourself, too. He may not feel the same way, but at least you won't be hiding from your feelings. And if he's not the man for you, then you can move on without the 'what if' plaguing your mind."

I listened to her words in silence, and somehow they made all the sense in the world to me. It was just that even so, pushing myself to do something about it would be a bigger leap.

"Are you sure you didn't work as a therapist in some of your Interpol assignments?" I asked, frowning. Emily laughed.

"None of that. But I know you, and I also know Reid. Your bond, guys? It is stronger than a simple friendship. You both deserve the truth, believe me."

Maybe Emily was right. It was worse to pretend that nothing was happening. But I knew this would end up burying our friendship with Spencer.

My soul ached, but my heart was breaking from keeping my feelings to myself.

Sitting on my couch and watching TV did not help shut down my thoughts. What if I can never get over him?

Fuck it. Emily is right. He has to know.

I took my car keys and drove to his apartment. If I thought about it too much, I would surely regret it, so I just drove. It was already night, and the empty streets gave me the reassurance I needed.

Descending from my car, I noticed that my hands were sweating profusely. My head was pounding, forcing me to close my eyes to relieve some tension. I took the stairs almost on autopilot.

Now I was standing in front of his door without a clear idea of what to say—also feeling the certainty that I would be rejected.

I knocked on the door three times and waited. My mind raced to all possible scenarios.

'Calm down. You can do it.'

Spencer opened the door and saw me standing there. He seemed confused.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

He was already in his sleeping outfit. What time is it, anyway? I didn't even check my watch when I decided to come.

"Hi. Uh - sorry, I came here all of a sudden. I-"

I felt like I was going to faint at any moment. I must have looked pale because Spencer's eyes morphed from curiosity to concern.

"Hey, come in. You don't look okay. Come to sit down and tell me what's going on," he offered.

Grabbing my hand gently, he led me to his couch and made me sit.

"Do you want me to bring you a glass of water? I can find you something to eat-" I didn't let him finish.

"Don't go to see her," I blurted out. I didn't plan to say it like this. Not at all.

Spencer's frown deepened.

"What?"

"Don't go to see her before I can tell you what I have to say," I rephrased, my eyes filling with tears.

My lack of explanation led Spencer to think about what had started our argument days before.

"(Y/N), I don't understand. I thought you were okay with it. Are you going to say again that Austin is trying to take advantage of me?" He asked defensively. I shook my head, biting my lower lip.

I can't lie to him anymore. I need to tell him the truth.

"So, what is it?"

"I'm sorry. I know this will sound selfish, but I can't keep this to myself anymore-" I babbled between sobs. Spencer tried to follow my words, but I was a mess in front of him. He sat by my side on the couch, his hands on my shoulder to help me to focus.

"Hey, easy. (Y/N), you need to breathe," he instructed. I just did that. I was freaking out without explaining a word yet.

Once I felt my breathing steady, I dared to look at Spencer.

"Okay. I'll start again," I announced. Spencer nodded. "You see, I thought I would never say this to you, but I need to," I chuckled bitterly. "I - I'm not opposed to the idea of you with Austin because I'm judging her without knowing her, which is what you're thinking I'm doing. I - I'm opposed to the idea because I would have liked to be her."

Spencer's eyes widened. Did he get the message?

"What?"

"I know. It's crazy and lacks rationalism, but I have felt this for a long time. I'm so sorry I'm telling you this now. It's unfair to you. You and Austin are dating now, and I came here to say these things. I'm so sorry, Spencer."

"Wait. Are you saying you… like me?" He hesitatingly asked as if he was afraid of misunderstanding my words.

"Like you? God, I think I love you at this point," I chuckled bitterly. "I know I should have done something earlier, and now it's late, but I was afraid of losing you because of this. I was ready to be buried with this secret if that meant having you close. And I-" Spencer gently rested his hand over mine to stop my rant.

"What changed? Why are you telling me this now?" He asked, looking at me intensively. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

"I - I don't want our friendship standing over a lie. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me. Even if you don't want to talk to me again, I would have to live with that," I concluded, averting my gaze.

"Hey," he said softly, with his fingers on my chin, tilting my head to return my look to him. "Why I wouldn't talk to you again?"

"Because I ruined our friendship? I mean, I have been a total bitch with you in the past weeks, and now you are in a relationship with Austin. I-" Spencer didn't let me finish this time.

"Stop saying that. I'm not in any relationship with anyone. Where you got that?" He asked.

What? Wasn't it obvious?

"I - uh. That's why you're flying to Atlanta. Right? Well, maybe you two are not official yet, but there is something between you both," I concluded.

Spencer chuckled, shooking his head.

Wait, what? Why was Spencer chuckling?

"There is nothing between us. I mean, romantically speaking. We get along pretty well; we are friends. That's all."

I looked at him suspiciously. Spencer grabbed my hand and kept talking.

"Believe me. Nothing had happened and never will happen between us. And do you know why? Because I'm already in love with my best friend."

I wonder if I fully registered what he was saying. Was he in love with someone else? With his best friend? Wasn't me his best friend? Oh. Oh!

"You-?"

"Yes,” he nodded. “And not in my wildest dreams did I think you could feel anything close to that for me.”

"How come you never told me anything?" I asked, still in shock.

"I guess I can ask the same thing," he sneered. I chuckled.

"But how? I mean, are you serious? Not because I just confessed my love for you?" I questioned, suddenly feeling anxious that Spencer only felt sorry for me.

"Can I give you proof that I'm serious?" He asked me almost in a whisper, subtly flicking his gaze between my eyes and lips.

I might pass myself out at that point. But I was not going to let this moment go away, which already seemed like a dream. I barely nodded, looking at him expectantly.

He scooted closer to me on the sofa, slowly bringing his hands to each of my cheeks to cup them. Without breaking eye contact, he whispered, "I love you (Y/N). I have been in love with you for a long time.”

"I love you too, Spencer,” I said back. Spencer smiled and leaned to kiss my lips.

The kiss started with us just brushing our lips tentatively. Then it was more determined but soft and sweet, one of his hands behind my head, the other cupping my jaw. My arms around his neck.

Fucking shit, I was kissing Spencer. A kiss that took years in the making.

His lips were warm and plump. A bit chapped, but I didn't care. I would have stayed like this forever, kissing him until my own lips went numb.

Before the kiss turned more heated, we parted—a grin plastered on our faces. But suddenly, my mind brought me to reality.

"Wait. Then what about Austin?" I asked.

It couldn't be that I had imagined everything I'd seen in these last few weeks, right?

"What do you mean?" Spencer questioned, softly stroking my cheek.

"You both-? I mean, the calls? The night you spent together? This trip? Are you sure you didn't-" I trailed off. Spencer giggled, a redness covering his features. After clearing his throat, he spoke.

"Would you believe me if I told you everything you just mentioned has to do with you?"

"Whit me? I don't understand." Spencer nodded, bringing my hand to his lips to kiss my knuckles.

"You'll see. When we arrested Parker, you helped me to lead Austin to the ambulance. Once there, she was calmer and began asking me questions about work, what would happen to Parker, and other stuff. I tried to explain a bit, and that's when you came over to let me know that we were going back to the station. When you turned to the car, I stared at you for a second—enough for her to notice. ‘Uh-oh. FBI Reid has a crush,’ she told me. I don’t know how she knew, but she knew. It’s funny because I have denied that fact for years, but I couldn’t lie to her. So I tell her everything,” Spencer shrugged.

“You told a stranger you loved me?” I asked in shock.

“Sort of? That night, I spent hours with her in the same bar. But mostly, it was me, after drinking several scotches, talking about how wonderful you were and that I didn’t know what to do, that you were my friend, and I was conflicted. She gave me advice, you know? That I needed to do something. To show you I cared. The texts? They were to track my progress with you and give me more ideas to get to you.”

“The gestures. The coffee in the mornings. The snacks. You asking me about anything that could happen to me,” I recounted. Spencer nodded.

That started to make sense now.

“But you seemed upset. You barely talked to me. So I was sad and lost. I already trusted Austin with this. I couldn’t go to JJ or Emily. It was complicated. I couldn’t go to you for obvious reasons.”

“So the trip is-“

“A chance to clear my head and get used to the idea that nothing would happen between us. I was positive when you told me you wanted me to be happy. I understood that doesn’t include being with you romantically,” Spencer admitted, pouting.

“Oh, my God. Spencer. We both were so so wrong. What kind of profilers are we? I was sure you both were dating. I was sure you slept with her that night. I’m so embarrassed now,” I shrieked.

“And I thought you were worried because you didn’t want your dork friend to be tricked by a girl. Because you cared about me, but just like a friend,” he said, shoulders slumped.

This time I grabbed his hands in mine.

“I wasn’t honest with you about my feelings. But I’m not going to make the same mistake again. I promise,” I leaned in to kiss him. Spencer reciprocated right away.

“Me neither,” he whispered, pecking my lips again. “So I guess now I don’t have a flight to catch tomorrow,” Spencer pointed as he wrapped his arms around me. I looked at him.

“Why do you say that?” I asked casually. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

“Weren't you the one who came saying not to go?” I chuckled.

“I said, ‘don’t go to see her.’ But a short vacation trip to Atlanta doesn't sound like a bad idea, only if that includes me,” I suggested cockily. Spencer laughed.

“Oh yeah? And how would we make that work?”

“I have many vacation days, you know? Hotch wouldn’t say no to me,” I winked at Spencer. He looked at me mischievously.

“If that is so, then I have many plans for you on this trip,” Spencer said, leaning in to give me a passionate kiss that left me breathless and seeing stars.

After all, things were not as they seemed to be. Spencer wasn't in a relationship with the girl from Atlanta, my love wasn't unrequited, and Spencer was just as overwhelmed by his feelings as I was. Someone would say, ‘they are made for each other.’ What can I say? I totally agree with that statement.

Oh! and another important thing I need to remember: once in Atlanta, I have to visit Austin to tell her I don't hate her and that I’m kind of grateful she crossed paths with us.

------------------

Spencer Reid’s Taglist: @dreatine​ @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @tvandfanfic​ @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19  @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @thebloomingeagle @pauline5525mgg @maltamurdock @disaster-in-waiting @pebble-has-a-mirgraine @anamiad00msday @chlochlosworld @milivanili99

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hi. I have a bit of a problem regarding my appearance.

You see, for a long time I was a vessel for a greater deity. But, recently, that deity has left me. Usually, this isn’t supposed to happen. But, The Great One will do as She desires, so I was left behind.

The problem is, while She was inhabiting me, She made a few adjustments to my appearance. Horns, ear piercings, tattoos, etc.

When She left, the horns and scales disappeared. But the piercings and tattoos stayed. Honestly, I don’t mind them. I find them very stylish and have grown accustomed to them.

But it’s not exactly my call. You see, I am Sapio. Without The Great One using my form, I’m about the most average Sapio out there. But the markings and piercings adorning my body are symbolic of the devine-folk genetically related to The Great One. Which I am not. So, naturally, me having these markings is seen as incredibly appropriative.

So, what do I do? I can’t remove them, they’ve been divinely protected beyond belief. I can’t cover them either, they’re everywhere, and bundling up in the middle of Arizona summer isn’t exactly a wise choice for me.

So, how do I get people to realize that I’m not trying to be offensive? Or at least, how do I stop being offensive?

Unfortunately, reader, there's nothing you can do to ensure people don't misinterpret your physical appearance. It would make life a great deal easier if we could transmit our good intentions and mitigating contexts into the minds of others at a whim.

But even if we could, that's no guarantee others would take the time to actually listen before forming an opinion – or even that, after hearing our reasoned defences, that they would agree with us.

I think it's important to emphasise that you aren't actually being offensive here. Cultural appropriation is a very real issue, but you haven't appropriated anything. You were fully and sincerely part of the culture to which these adornments and markings belong.

In fact, I would strongly argue that you have every right still to identify with this culture, if you so wished. 'The most average sapio out there' has never been a vessel for a great deity. That experience doesn't stop being part of your story just because it is now in the past tense rather than the present.

However, you may still wish to avoid the stares and snap judgements your appearance might draw. In practical terms, you might consider using a glamour to subtly alter your appearance, or at least to draw attention away from your more controversial features.

Any reputable, licensed practitioner should be able to supply you with such workings, and many offer discounts if you're buying bulk. Glamours can be expensive though, so you'll likely want to reserve them for situations where they'll be most effective.

If you're just popping to the shops or taking a walk round the park, your best defence is a shift in mind-set. You don't need strangers to understand you. You know who you are, and you can share that with people who take the time to actually engage with you.

Otherwise, keep your head high, and concentrate on the opinions that matter – your own, and those of the people who love you.

Alternatively, you might consider getting some custom t-shirts made. 'I Was A Vessel To An Elder God And All I Got Were These Lousy Piercings' has a certain ring to it.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[alevolpe]

How do the girls deal differently with anger? If it's too much, I'm mostly interested in reading your thoughts on Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako.

Your insights are *chef kiss*.

I REALLY love this question! Srry it’s taken me so long to answer.

First of all I’ll say for all of them, it depends! Is it something out of their control? Cause if not, mf REI HINO does not stay mad about it, Her ass is sprinting to kick the problem’s ass in milliseconds, right along with Mako! But for simplicity sake, I’ll say the reason the girls are angry is something out of their control and they can only sit there and find way to deal with their emotions.. ok. GO!

Ami. Ami stresses, Ami stresses way more than people think she does. I genuinely see Ami being an extremely stressed person, to the point where I can easily see her being the one with the shortest life span. Stress is scientifically proven to have adverse effects on your health.

How does Ami deal with anger? In most situations I think she suffers in silence. She doesn’t ponder too much, she just tries to keep on going like nothing happened, cause the second she starts taking a moment to think about herself openly is the moment she catches herself “being selfish”. People around her don’t need to see this.

Ami is meant to be that one pleasant person you come across. The one to be always kind to you, no matter the day. A silent yet strong and resilient symbol of strength and comfort.

This is obv a very unhealthy mindset, which I can see Ami getting better at as she get older, but not all the way.

She HATES crying, she always has. The lowest moments in her life is where she just couldn’t cope with all her emotions and just broke down and cried, so she associates crying with “This moment is REALLY THAT BAD”, it’s almost a coping mechanism where she sees herself brimming with copious amounts of anger and emotion, yet she’s not crying, so it’s fine, it’ll be ok. The moments where she cried never ended up ok and still resonate with her.

I think Ami also finds small, yet meaningful ways to destress while coping with anger. Reading is a simple one, I think laying on the floor and taking a moment to decompress helps her too, perhaps while cupping her ears and just depriving herself of as many outside factors as possible. Listening to specific genres of music, going through her father’s sketches, and even sharing an intimate physical moment with a loved one. With Ami for me is a wild pendulum between “I need to feel as much as possible RIGHT NOW!” To “I don’t want to feel anything right now”.

Rei. Oh, boi.. Rei, when has Rei ever been angry? LOL Rei is pretty much always angry.. angry at what? EVERYTHING! Angry at the chickens for spreading the feed to the porch, angry at Yuichiro for using the wrong china for tea, angry at the man down the street, angry at the spicy noodles for NOT BEING ON SALE ANYMORE, angry at the nearest pole for standing in REI HINO’s way! EVERYTHING! But she’s right, why? Cause she’s Rei Hino!

On a deeper level, Rei’s anger is mostly directed at herself, it’s like a 70-30 split of Rei holding herself and the world and people around her to such high standards, it eats her alive. She is her biggest critic and that’s honestly why I see her having such a significant ego.. she kind of earns it. She’s so extremely diligent, yet when she messes up or the people around her do, it kills her cause she knows she should do better, she NEEDS to do better and the others need to do better too. Tho their names aren’t Rei Hino, so she can’t expect them to be perfect all the time. Rei Hino though, she’s fucking perfect, so she better not make ANY mistakes and shit, Rei never makes mistakes!

Also Rei lacks the most basic functions of self reflection.. or reflection in general, as well as self-awareness. She doesn’t have high standards on herself to please anyone but herself, so her emotions are more often heightened by the fact that they are not really based on “normal human decency/shame/standards”, but rather based from her own ‘flawless’ logic and standards. So, something so extremely insignificant can be the irrational thing to tip her over the edge to a breakdown.

Her biggest outside source of consistent pumping uncontrollable anger is her father. I really see them as two peas from the same pod, they are both arrogant, head asses who can’t get over themselves to meet the other person half-way. (even tho Rei is way more justified! Cause fuck him fr)

With all that rambling said, how does Rei deal with anger? If Rei is in a situation where she can’t genuinely go and solve the problem herself, I think she meditates. She spends sometimes up to double digits of hours just meditating. In a way the least Rei-like thing to do, but there’s just something so extremely comforting to Rei about it. She can finally detach all of her worries, her judgments and just exist, peacefully.

Mako. Poor baby.. she has dealt with anger issues since such a young age and her coping mechanisms aren’t great. In the best of times they result in: smashing someone’s face open, but if the problem can’t be solved that way… it gets way more complicated. Mako is a very reactive person: you hurt me, I hurt you. That’s her logic, but in a world so complicated how does such a simple creature manage.. poorly I tell you.

Mako does not like being angry, It’s almost shameful for her, especially around her loved ones. She doesn’t understand why she’s so frequently angry and it eats at her, to the point where she’s literally yelling at herself “why can’t you just be happy?!”. Concepts like trauma and mental illness are so unknown to her.. smart people stuff she’ll call it. get this girl a therapist RN!

How does Mako deal with anger? There are many moments where I see Mako being unable to control her anger. Taking it out on objects around her is out the question! She simply cannot afford it, if Mako grips that phone too hard is goodbye to having a phone period… so I see Mako reactively reaching for a cigarette instead. She’s not proud of it, but what can she do? She can get out and go for a run til her muscles ache, but that would expose her to so many outside factors that could risk heightening her anger. A cigarette always helps.. maybe 2 sometimes.

If her anger is not to that destructive level quite yet, she may reach for her mother’s cookbook and set her mind to a nice relaxing baking session or she can reach to that unfinished crocheted scarf and work on it a lil more, perhaps clean the whole living room instead! All activities that bring her comfort, but which are also ways to deal with her anger that would not put her into further trouble.

With her very unstable financial situation I actually don’t see her working out almost at all. She frequents the school’s sport clubs, but outside of that, she can’t just go throw weights around any time she wants. She has school, sailor business, work.. she has no time. Though this is something I see her start doing as she gets older and possible gets engaged into a better financial situation. Outside of physically fighting someone, I don’t see her wanting to let her anger manifest into physical actions (later she’ll learn that’s actually rlly healthy along with speaking about it, but this Mako has never heard of therapy of self-help.. she can barely afford a doctor, let alone a therapist that can tell her how to deal with pain).

Mina! Man.. Mina’s kinda tough. She’s really hard to read and is excellent at masking her emotions. Doesn’t matter how angry she is, if she doesn’t want you to realize she’s angry, you have a very very very low chance of figuring that out and even a lower chance of getting any readable confirmation of your theory.

Much like Rei, Mina is also very self-critical, but not to Rei’s unreasonable extents. Mina is, because she needs to, she’s the leader, the level headed one, controlling her emotions is not a choice, it’s a necessity. Along with that I see her being way angrier at the world around her than any other of the inners, but she’s not hypocritical about it.. she realizes she’s part of the problem. People are so fucking selfish, it’s disgusting, and yet.. she knows she’s not so different.

So how does Mina deal with anger? Ironically enough, I see Mina being the one throwing weights around. Mina LOVES working out, physical activity is her n1 stress reliever. She’s not very picky either, she most often makes do with anything she has at hand, including environments and all types of different circumstances to adapt to the most reasonable and appropriate workout at the time.

Other than that, I can easily see her openly venting to those around her. If it’s something she doesn’t care about you knowing she’s angry about, then you’ll def hear about it, willing or not! That’s the more “friend” part of Mina coming out, and less of her disciplined persona as “the leader”. Different circumstances lead to different ways of coping. There’s a lot that Mina needs to filter between “we’re friends” and “I’m your leader”, and that complex inter-dynamic of her character is one of my favorite aspects of her.

And speaking of public coping method for anger management.. Mina’s kind of a dick too, depending on the day, she’ll go openly be an ass to someone on the street to destress, or encourage Rei in similar behavior. Entertainment is a kind of minor, yet significant way Mina uses to keep her emotions at bay, a form of temporary distraction, and hey.. Mina is pretty shameless after all. She doesn’t care. Also I can see other types of ‘activities’ that are def a personal fav method of coping for Mina as well *ahem*.

[idv-sweethearts]

Glad we're in agreement haha! Consider me a loyal customer since I have notifications on and RUNN here when you post

You'll never guess who I'm here to request(it's luchino 😞) I like my men a little protective and you're the first person to indulge my luchino crave so you could write luchino getting a little jealous and possessive during a match?

Also I've never been a recurring anon before I've seen some sign off with an emoji should I do that?

Luchino Getting Protective ☕️

Notes: I do recommend that you find yourself a nickname or an emoji or something of that nature to sign your asks. I do enjoy having a loyal customer. Might I suggest something to do with reptiles? Btw, I'm so eager to write for Luchino today as I had a very interesting series of thoughts yesterday while zoning out into the wood patterns of the living room table. Cannibalism is bad in most situations, it's not vegan, and the only difference between humans and animals is intelligence, but that doesn't matter to vegans ^_^. Probably. I'm not vegan.

Luchino is not normally so reckless or irrational. So long as he can wrap his head around something, he can be rational about it. Relaxed, even. He was, in canon, transformed slowly into a human-sized, bipedal reptile and carried on as though nothing objectively horrifying had happened.

It makes sense. Humans are little different from animals, so why be concerned when one becomes the other? Even "human" intelligence, the only major difference between the two, is only present because it gives humans an advantage. And how prideful humans are to think the distance between them and a lizard isn't the same as a rodent and the bird that hunts it?

Unlike his immeasurable interest in reptiles and evolution, social interactions are illogical and difficult to navigate. He does his best to calculate the most appropriate expressions and words and gestures, but there are still things he can find no logic in.

What is logical to him, however, is that it takes only a moment for a calm, reasonable scene to decompose into a unmanageable hellscape comparable in sense to a nightmare. And it takes even less time for a human to become something truly horrid. Or perhaps all beings this way, hiding their true nature behind kind words and gentle smiles.

So, today, what is Luchino? He is a Survivor, always at your side either physically or figuratively, from the moment he realized he had grown fond of you. He aids you in every way he can, as he'd hate to see you suffer. He's always watching and listening during matches to determine your approximate location. It is better to know than to not know, he thinks. And if you need it, he'll drop everything to ensure your safety, as he has done today.

Furthermore, who are you? You are a Survivor, like him. And, in the chaos of it all, you've been cast aside. Left to die for the sake of a "victory" they may not even achieve, but where is any victory at all in an outcome where you must die so they can leave?

And finally, who are they? They, Hunters and Survivors barely different in this situation, are selfish scum who would prioritize their own lives and wishes over yours. Well, to say they're all so terrible would be hypocritical, as it seems Luchino has prioritized your life over all of theirs, his included. If his life were to conclude, in this hellscape or nightmare or whatever you want to call it, then he's satisfied with that outcome if it means you live to see another day.

So, only one question remains. Who, in this frenzy, is the monster, if there is even a difference between humans and monsters at all? Is the true monster the "Hunter", the more literal monster, who brought you so close to death? Those two other Survivors who left you to die, but were soon torn from the victory they yearned for before they had the chance to struggle or even crawl? Or Luchino himself, who lifted you from the chair, from the depths of Hell they were willing to leave you in, and pulled you toward the exit without even looking back at the nightmarish state he left the others in?

Perhaps you, who witnessed every desperate murmur, every panicked scream, and every dying breath as your beloved partner traded a win for a tie, could provide some kind of answer.

[madarasgirl]

A Night for Hunting Ch. 19 -Valentine's

C/W: Alucard (Ultimate) x F!Reader, canon-typical violence, gore, Millennium, battle-thirsty vampire, some shadow writing, OVA2 @alastorhazbin Words: 5511

Another reminder that Hellsing is NOT a fluffy show, despite all the fluff I wrote between Alucard and the Reader.

An excerpt is under the cut

“Feeling sorry for yourself?” His voice slithered through the darkness, a soft rasp like a cat’s tongue, but it was oil on fire.

You bristled at his callousness, the false niceties rapidly forgotten here away from the prying outsiders. “You brought on all these problems of mine! All I wanted was a quiet life, not the spotlight on my face everywhere I go!”

He said nothing.

“It isn’t fair!”

His silence dominated like midnight frost, twin lights glinting as he opened his eyes, his pupils like pitch within an incandescent carnelian.

“Fair? ‘Fairness’ is but a pretty word, a reassuring concept for the weak of will who demand a seat at the table. The world simply is not fair, Dear.”

“The things they say about me! About you!”

“Should steel be bowed by the breeze? Or a boulder be moved by something as intangible as words? Their utterances are the mere rabble of the masses.”

“You make it sound derivative. Words can cut as deeply as physical wounds, Alucard.”

He laughed. “Only if you allow it.”

“You brought me here and that’s all you have to say?! You’ve never even defended me from their lies!”

“What would you have me do? Shall I present their heads on pikes? Or perhaps I shall still their tongues by commanding it so?” The blistering lights glowed with infernal power. “You will not find absolution from the rabble. Care not for their whispers.”

--------------------

You whimpered at the racket. The coffin smelled like Alucard, which was good –the scent of safety was always comforting, but the thunderclaps of what seemed like a million shots destroyed that illusion. It was almost deafening even from your enclosed space in another room. How could it be so loud? Was the throne room caving in? Were you getting buried with the rubble? Thank goodness for the coffin.

It began to glow blood red. Alucard wasn’t speaking to you, but you heard him all the same.

Releasing control restriction system…

Level 3, level 2, level 1.

Recognizing approval of Situation A according to the Cromwell invocation.

Commencing limited lifting of ability to use restrictions until the enemy before me has been rendered completely silent.

What was happening outside?! The temperature was plunging as bursts of light speckled your vision through the darkness in tune with the explosive banging.

Depraved aggression smacked into you. The vagaries of a bone-deep bloodlust came to him naturally. How Alucard longed for a good fight and a satisfying end. He was gloating and deranged. The gargling of a man’s screams drifted through the wooden walls of the coffin, though it was getting more distant. 

Exactly what was happening out there, you couldn’t tell, but you didn’t like it. The scene of many of Alucard’s targets desperately begging him for mercy was something you were accustomed to. There would be none.

You recalled the warmth of his toothy smile earlier tonight.

More far-off screaming. 

Your skin crawled. The dark lord of legend felt as foreign to you as a stranger, his glee almost drowning out your bond. It was disturbing.

“Luke Valentine! Excellent! I have not had this much fun in too long.” Someone else’s fear scrambled your head as Alucard egged on his enemy to show him more.

You aren't a monster Alu. You felt so small and insignificant.

The bloodlust went away as your vampire snapped out of it.

~To be Continued~

Ch. 20- Millennium

[afrogwhocantdraw]

Giving the Sbg gang Madilyn Mei songs- Tyler 1/2

I'm sorry for splitting this into two but I lost the entirety of the second song analysis and half of this one so

Gonna get right into it, this will have spoilers for the S1 finale of school bus graveyard, yet again I reccomend listening to the song because it's very good (imo) and I'll only be referencing lyrics I can link to the characters

'song' 1- Tho I'm a tortoise (Hare verse)

where do I start, I know I'm technically supposed to give them all full songs but this verse just fit Tyler so well I had to talk about it

"a slap on the wrist, a tomb made of stone, a casket awaiting a nap"

starting off the verse right away I connect it with Tyler.

"A slap on the wrist" connects to very early on in the comic, when Ashlyn has to bring him back down to earth in order for him to actually process what's happening and help the rest of the group, while she doesn't physically slap him (even though she's close to) she still reminds him that if he doesn't start helping, he can get out. A reminder that, let's be honest, he needed in that moment.

"a tomb made of stone" and "a casket awaiting a nap" are just very clear reminders to me of his death, especially "a casket awaiting a nap" because it just makes me think of how inevitable his death was, how atleast one of the group was going to die in their situation and Tyler unfortunately was the first to go

"we all end up six feet below"makes me think of those many theory's people have that all of the main six are going to die at some point

"the medals I've won from the races I've run on display back home with my cat" can quite obviously connect with his baseball achievements

"we all end up six feet below, so why should we care about all that?" Makes me think of two things, the first is linking back to the previous lyric and how Tyler never really enjoyed baseball as he got older and how the only thing he's focused on is ways of getting into college. His awards dont really matters to him because he's fixated on creating a good future for him and his family.

The other way I see it is by linked it with a scene just after his death, when Ashlyn apologises and he tells her it's not her fault ( in this case "so why should we care bout all that?" Relates to him not caring/ not blaming Ashlyn or any of the group for his death- which side note was amazing character development)

"I run my mouth and I will 'till I'm old"

I mean, do I even need to explain this one, excessive bickering and speaking his unfiltered thoughts (especially to Aiden) has been one of Tyler's main traits since he first showed up.

"and things may not be as the forecaster told, cause they wanted me to show off what I do

But I couldn't care any less to show you

Cause though I'm a Hare I've got nothing to prove"

Yet again this fits Tyler's personality almost perfectly. The thing I mentioned earlier about baseball also fits here with the "they wanted me to show off what I do, but I couldn't care any less to show you". And the rest just fits Tyler's character as a whole.

I swear the next part will be out quicker but motivation was like a rollercoaster lately

[wewerebornsextuplets]

what would kenny say if he could see his family now? would he be happy at how far his daughter has come? would he feel pity for his wife, seeing how grief has changed her? would he still wish for his family to be together? (<- insane)

this ask is absolutely diabolical. i cannot thank you enough for giving me a chance to talk about kenny more in-depth. unfortunately most of this ended up being context for how he thinks + a bit of further exposition on mayumis relationship with her parents [since family is a big deal to kenny and well. yknow], so the actual answers are a bit further down but i hope this is still at least a little illuminating 👼

one thing thats important to know about kenny for this to make sense, is that he has some very strong values and beliefs surrounding the idea of family. while i wouldnt exactly describe these ideals as him being "family-oriented" in the traditional sense, its more like... okay. you know how older people, usually in their 50s and 60s, all seem to be capable of talking at length about That One Relative they despise, how they wish they could have nothing to do with them, because nothing good ever comes of it, but then they end their diatribe by going "well, they're still family, so i love them"? kenny's like that, hes committed to family to a fault. obviously there are still things that he would consider as going "too far" or irreconcilable when it comes tothis, but his tolerance for that is much higher than it probably should be.

to this point, i think even when he was still alive, he could tell that tears were beginning to form in the family dynamic that weren't solely caused by his inevitable passing. its not something ive discussed much here, but mayumi actually wasnt on very good terms with her parents before kenny got sick; she left home and started her career as a gravure model when she was 20 as a means of "sticking it" to her parents' more traditional wishes, and she was unhappy when she was living with them, but never actually did the work to figure out What was so wrong with the situation. as such, when kiru was born some years later, and she started to settle into life with kenny, she began to recontextualize her dissatisfaction with her parents' treatment of her as her just being a bratty teen. so, when kenny got sick, and she decided their best bet financially would be to move in with them, kenny agreed, though he viewed it as something of a necessary annoyance because hey, they're family.

even still, in the last year or so before he passed, the effects of living in the family home again paired with the inevitable realization that kenny was Definitely Gonna Die were becoming more and more apparent, primarily through how mayumi acted towards him and to kiru. he could tell she wasnt taking the process lightly at all, but part of him hoped that after his passing, she would be able to move on and mayumi, kiru, and her parents would be able to continue on as a family unit without him. he thought the bitterness between them and the cycle of mistreatment was just something theyd have to "work through" or "get over" because theyre Supposed to be close, though i dont think he ever said his out loud.

so, i think if kenny were to see the family structure now with full context, he would be pretty upset and confused that things didnt go quite as he'd hoped. i dont think he would blame them for going no-contact after the incident at christmas, but he would certainly be unhappy with the fact that things reached that point in the first place. there's a lot that he wished could have happened differently [esp. once kiru became an adult and left to live on her own, as well as some of the decisions made in the months following his death], though he was quite even-tempered + logical when need be, so i dont think he would really be able to find it in him to stay angry at either party for very long [though he'd certainly be mad about the concussion. physical harm is one of the aforementioned "okay even i think this is too much" bars for him wrt familial conflict, even though mayumi herself was also very freaked out by herself in this instance]

with mayumi as a person, more than anything i think he would just be very sad about her resignation to a life of isolation now that he's gone; he'd hoped that theyd be able to "get over" their differences and become closer now that circumstances were easier for them with him gone. but again, i dont think kenny really understood the full breadth of the emotional abuse mayumi endured, especially since mayumi herself never really came to grips with it. and having never endured that himself, he isnt able to wrap his head around the fact that its the sort of thing there isnt ever any "getting over". its a very naive take on family conflict, borne out of his own inability to really understand incompatibility in this sense + familial abuse due to his lack of experience with it. this same confusion and upset also applies to how things shook out with mayumi and kiru, though i think he was more understanding in this case since there was a physical aspect to it. but past that he just wishes mayumi could find it in herself to move on and meet new people, that she might be able to be happy again in spite of all of this. its a strange mix of pity, confusion and a tinge of anger.

as for kiru though... theres no question that kenny would be immensely proud of the person she is today. to put things into perspective here, he was born and raised on chichijima, and sickness aside, only ever left for long periods of time when he was attending college. he regards this as being the most difficult thing he ever had to do, and its a decision HE made! so for kiru, who went through so much more than that and made the move at a much younger age than him, to STILL come out on top with a doctorate and a nice job? that on its own is enough of a feat in his eyes. but past that i think he would also be very proud of the kind of person she is, since she really is just such a sweetheart and is incredibly level-headed. he'd be very very happy that she managed to do so well for herself even after all that went on, and that she managed to find such a wonderful group of friends who love her [joblessness aside. though i dont think he'd really gaf if we're being honest]... and furthermore i can see him really liking her and keiko as a couple HEHE

furthermore, i imagine kenny would be pretty happy that kiru at least stayed in contact with SOME family on her mom's side, since again, hes still quite family oriented in a strange roundabout way. he would definitely be confused as to why it was yanagida of all people, since they didnt visit one another very frequently before the move and always seemed to be bickering with each other After they moved, but hes happy nonetheless