#Even though the idea of a god makes me really fucking paranoid

[sadfraudfrogs]

I currently need to throw my phone into a river because if my mum looks through my phone I'm fucked

[grumpypixistix]

The lab assistant

Scientist!Miguel O’Hara x Shy!Reader

Warnings- Face sitting, slight corruption kink, slightly perverted!Miguel (if you squint), co-workers being dickheads, semi-public sex (let me know if I missed anything! )

MINORS DNI 18+

You had been working at Alchemax for a few months now. A few of your colleagues were generous enough to introduce you to the workplace and the other workers, but there was one person you couldn’t keep your eyes off of.

Miguel O’Hara.

When you first introduced yourself to him, he had already taken a liking to you. Something about how shy yet sweet you were made his pulse quicken and his cheeks burn. The way you smiled at him as you tried to introduce yourself, nervous about your first day at Alchemax. But you quickly felt at home when Miguel began to bond with you by taking over your “tour” of the place, making great conversation. Soon enough, your shell had cracked and you started talking about your personal interests, how you got hired, etc.

About a week after that day, he went home and couldn’t stop thinking about you for some reason. He didn’t know what to make of it, thinking it wasn’t too serious.

But then you started appearing in his dreams.

Miguel would dream about leaving marks everywhere on your body to claim you as his, fucking every ounce of innocence out of you.

And when he would wake up in a cold sweat, his cock was nearly on the verge of exploding, precum dripping everywhere. He felt guilty about it afterwards, it was just wrong for him to think about his colleague like that.

But you plagued his mind consistently. The dreams slowly turned into daily thoughts that he finally caved into, fisting his cock at least four times a day to the thought of your body. But you had no clue what he was doing after he got off of work. You just assumed that he only saw you as a co-worker and nothing else, maybe even a good friend.

But God, were you so far off from the truth.

As you entered the building for another shift of the week, your boss had approached you with some new information.

“I’m really sorry this is a last minute notice, but I need you to stay a little later. I tried to get some other people to stay instead, but all of them couldn’t do it… but on the bright side, Miguel volunteered to stay, so you won’t be completely alone.”

Great, just what you needed. A longer shift after your horrible week.

Even though some of your colleagues were nice to you, there was a group that wasn’t as generous as them. Some of them claimed that you were too clumsy or stupid to be an assistant, others claimed you were like a lost dog or a prude. Whatever they said, you tried not to pay attention to it too much. But there were days where it would get to you, and this week happened to have a bunch of those days.

You just nodded at your boss and shot him the best smile you could muster up.

“Alright then, that shouldn’t be a problem, sir” You said in a friendly tone.

“At least Miguel will be here with me… maybe I can talk to him, get my stress out” You thought to yourself as you walked off to start your shift.

When you walked into the lab and took your coat off of the hanger, you could hear some voices from the other side of the room.

“Oh great, look who’s here.”

“God, I don’t even know why she’s still here. She should’ve been fired months ago, she doesn’t even know what she’s doing.”

“I’m surprised Miguel even hangs out with her, she’s such a prude.”

“Hell, you should’ve seen the look on her face yesterday. She practically bursted into tears when we called her useless.”

The other comments stung a little, but what got you the most was the part about Miguel. Sure, you had developed a small crush on him, but that had nothing to do with your guy’s friendship. The fact that the other colleagues had judged your bond just to get a laugh hurt you more than you felt it should’ve.

God forbid if they ever found out about your feelings for Miguel… you couldn’t help but become paranoid over the idea.

As you tried to ignore the group across the room and focus on your tasks, it seemed that one of them had read your mind and called you over.

Shit.

“Hey, newbie! Come over here real quick, we gotta ask you somethin“ One of your colleagues called out.

Your heart pounded hard inside your chest, quietly gulping before walking over to the group with a small sigh.

“What do you need?” You asked gently, silently praying it was something work-related and not just making fun of you again.

Some of the others chuckled and chattered a little bit before falling quiet.

“Sooo, you’re friends with Miguel, right?” The female colleague from before asked.

Your palms began to grow sweaty as sirens went off in your mind, biting your cheek before answering.

“Yeah, why?” You raised your brow at your co-worker.

Your co-worker slowly smiled. Oh no.

“Well, we were just thinking… with the way you act around him and all… you definitely have a thing for him, don’t you?”

Your whole chest sunk to your stomach, wishing this was just some horrible dream and that you would wake up soon. Trying to play it off, your eyes widened at the question and you shook your head vigorously.

“What?? No, he’s just my friend-“

“That wasn’t my question. I asked if you have a thing for him” She cuts off coldly.

Some of the others snickered quietly, making your throat close up as you tried to hold your emotions back. Your face contorted into confusion at the strange question, the others taking notice of it.

“Oh my god, she’s clueless” One of the colleagues muttered with a small chuckle.

Your co-worker lets out a small laugh as she noticed your face, clicking her tongue and shaking her head.

“Here, let me dumb it down for you: do you ever fantasize about having sex with Miguel?”

Your whole face flushed bright red as it clicked into your head, slowly shaking your head.

“N- No… that’s… that’s wrong” You stuttered, looking at your co-worker.

She stares at you with a raised brow, not believing you at all.

“Okay, sure… but you still like him, right? Being a prude and all, surely you at least have a crush on him.”

“Please, don’t call me that-“

“Or what? Huh? You gonna run off to your little boyfriend and cry in his arms? I’m sure he’ll baby you, he does every time he sees you” She hisses.

The feeling in your throat grew even stronger, your eyes slowly beginning to water. But you didn’t want to prove her theory, so you just stood there silently, not knowing what else to say. As the silence grew more, some of the colleagues just laughed.

“Wow… you really are stupid, aren’t you?”

“Who’s stupid?” A voice emerges from the entrance of the room, making everyone fall silent.

It was Miguel, standing with his arms crossed and his brows furrowed. The group of colleagues weren’t laughing or smiling anymore- instead, they actually looked nervous. The female coworker looked over at you for a quick moment before flashing a smile at Miguel.

“Oh, nothing! It was just something we were talking about from yesterday. Right, hon?” The co-worker said in an overly sweet tone, forcing herself to smile at you.

You froze, not wanting anymore conflict with the group, so you just went along with it. You quietly nodded your head and looked over at Miguel, giving your best smile.

“Mhm, it was just stuff from yesterday” You mustered up as your voice shook a little.

Miguel didn’t buy it at all, seeing how your eyes glistened, tears threatening to leave them at any second. He shot your co-worker a glare before looking back at you, a sigh leaving his lips.

“Ah, alright then… do you have the paperwork from last week? I just wanna make sure everything is right” Miguel spoke to you, his face softening a little.

You quickly nodded and walked away from the group to your clipboard that was in one of the desk drawers, skimming through the pile of papers to look for the documents. The group just watched as you eventually found the papers Miguel was referring to, handing them to him. He took out his glasses from his coat pocket and put them on, reading the sheet of paper. After a few moments of silence, Miguel took off his glasses and looked over at you, handing the paper back.

“This is perfect. Thank you, sweetheart. I don’t think I’ve ever seen paperwork better than this and I’ve worked here longer than anyone else has” Miguel praised, a gentle smile formed on his lips.

“Thank you, Miguel. That means a lot to me” You hummed in appreciation, returning the smile.

The praise alone made you forget about the whole situation from earlier, but the smile comforted you even more. Your cheeks burned up as you felt your whole body tingle, a small smile creeping up your lips. The feeling Miguel made you have was insatiable, you just couldn’t get enough of it. You wanted more of him, to have his lips on yours…

You almost forgot that there were other people in the room. Almost.

The sound of low muttering made your head turn towards the group, the co-worker giving you a dirty look before the group parted separate ways. You set the paper on the table and Miguel leans down to whisper in your ear.

“We’ll talk about this later.”

Your head spun when you felt his warm breath tickle your skin, almost not realizing what he just said. When you finally processed it, you looked at Miguel and nodded a little. For once, you were actually kind of glad your boss made you work later.



After hours of working and following Miguel around for assistance (as he asked for your presence), it was time for the others to go home. Usually, you would be getting off at this time, but since you had to stay later, that meant you would have to pick up dinner on your way back home. You didn’t really mind since it would save you time and energy to make food at home.

Plus you didn’t mind since it meant you could spend more time with Miguel.

Speaking of which, you couldn’t help but notice something was a little off with him. You assumed it was because of what happened earlier, because he seemed a little more tense than normal. But after everyone had left, he looked over at you, glad that the two of you were finally alone. You were finishing out today’s paperwork, slouching over the desk as you tried to fight off your tiredness. Miguel walked over to you and gently took the pen out of your hand, turning your chair around to face him.

“Everyone left, it’s just us. Now… about what happened earlier…” Miguel started, bending down to your height, “Tell me. What exactly did they say to you?”

Your face burned up a little as his face was inches away from yours, struggling to find your words. He just stared at you, waiting for an answer. But after a few moments of silence, his face softened and he let out a small breath, resting his large hand on your thigh.

“I won’t say a word to anyone, I promise. I just want to know what’s wrong… when I got here, you were on the verge of tears” Miguel spoke softly.

The feeling of his hand on your thigh made your chest flutter and your stomach turn, trying to keep your composure as much as you could. He was only just trying to comfort you… right?

“They… they were asking me questions…” You began, still debating whether or not you should leave out a few details.

Miguel hummed a little as he listened to you, his other hand now on your other thigh as he gently caressed your skin. Your stomach felt fuzzy and warm, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Questions about what? C’mon hermosa, you can tell me” He coos, tucking a small strand of hair out of your face.

You swallowed hard and bit your lip hard before answering hesitantly.

“They were… questions a- about you.”

Miguel stopped and looked at you, gently grabbing your chin and forcing you to look up at him.

“What did they ask about me?”

You stared up at him for a few moments and finally spoke again.

“They… they were asking if… I liked you” You whispered quietly.

That caught Miguel off-guard.

His eyes widened at you just the slightest, analyzing your face to see if you were messing with him. Once he noticed your flushed cheeks and nervous look, he knew you weren’t joking. After a moment of tense silence, Miguel licked his lips and started talking.

“…Do you?” Miguel asked lowly, looking down at your lips and up at your eyes.

His question had you in a slight panic, weighing out the odds. If you told him how you felt, it would either change your entire friendship or you would be stuck working alone for the rest of your time at Alchemax. Either one of those options sounded horrible, but if you didn’t tell him now, you were certain the group from earlier would do it eventually. Your heart raced so quick, Miguel swore he could hear it clearly. A shaky sigh left your lips and you nodded at him.

“Yeah… I do” You mumbled, scared that he would react negatively.

But instead, Miguel just chuckled softly and smiled at you, his hand cupping your face and his thumb dragging down your bottom lip.

“That’s good to know… because I’ve also liked you for quite some time now” Miguel responded, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

Your eyes widened at his response, a look of hope on your face as you slowly smiled.

“Really?” You squeaked.

Miguel chuckled again and nodded at you, his eyes flicking down to your lips.

“Of course I do… how could I not?” He whispered, his face slowly inching closer to yours.

Your face flushed all the way to your ears, finding yourself drifting towards him. Closer, closer and closer until you finally feel his warm lips on yours. It felt like hundreds of fireworks were exploding in your chest, slowly wrapping your arms around him and holding Miguel close. You were almost afraid to let go, and he seemed to notice this. Miguel gently moved his hands down to your waist, pulling you up out of the chair and into his arms. The more you kissed him, the harder it became for Miguel to keep his composure. He wanted to take things slow with you, not wanting to scare you away. But God, was it a challenge for him to just keep his hands on your hips.

After a little bit, Miguel finally broke the kiss to catch his breath, already panting softly. He looked at you and let out a groan that awoken something inside you.

“Shit, do you have any idea what you do to me?” Miguel huffed quietly, his thumbs barely peeking up the hem of your shirt and rubbing the bare skin of your stomach.

You just stared up at him, your mind still foggy from the kiss you two had shared moments ago. You shook your head with a quiet “No…”

Miguel sighed and looked down at your chest, his cock twitching inside his pants. He didn’t even bother hiding his erection anymore, moving your hips against his to show you the effect you had on him. You let out a gasp at the strange feeling, your fingers digging into his shoulders as your whole body felt hot now.

“I can’t help it… you’re just so fucking sweet… you haunt me in my dreams, I swear to god. Every night when I go to bed, all I can dream about is you and that fucking body of yours… all just for me.”

Your eyes widened at his words, not expecting him to say those kind of things to you. Normally, you’d be freaked out or even scared… but something about the way Miguel looked at you made you feel different. You weren’t sure if it was from the kiss earlier or your feelings for him in general, but you felt… ready in a sense. When Miguel saw your eyes widen at his words, his face dropped as he suddenly became worried.

“…Was that too much?” Miguel whispered gently, his brows furrowed together.

You slowly shook your head and placed a soft kiss to his cheek.

“No… I- If anything, I… I sometimes have dreams about you, too…” You admitted with a quiet tone, looking away.

Miguel nearly went off the rails when you told him that, his pants feeling tighter around his dick. He moved you closer to him once more, moving your hair to the side.

“Mierda… Tell me about your dreams…” Miguel mumbled against you, pressing slow kisses to your cheek and down your neck.

Your thighs pressed together as a wet patch formed in your panties, your stomach flipping as you felt his lips against your skin. A shaky breath left your mouth, nearly moaning from how good it felt to have Miguel treat you this way. It was definitely wrong, but it felt so right. If anyone else had stayed with you two during the late shift and caught you like this, you’d be fired on the spot.

But nobody else was here. Just the two of you.

“S- sometimes I dream about you k- kissing me like this… and even…” Your voice faltered as you quickly grew shy again, biting down on your lip.

Miguel kissed and nipped at your neck, leaving little marks on your skin.

“Go on, Cariño…”

You swallowed before speaking again, letting a soft moan slip out.

“Even… touching me…”

Miguel moaned at that, causing your head to spin even more. You felt so hot that you swore you were going to pass out, but luckily you didn’t. He moved up to place a firm kiss on your lips, pulling away to look at you.

“Have I done anything more than just touching you in your dreams?” Miguel muttered lowly, his lips wet and raw.

You thought for a second before slowly shaking your head with a small breath.

“I always woke up before… before I could find out…” You answered Miguel.

Miguel frowned at that, looking at the marks on your neck before making direct eye contact with you. He sighed and shook his head, clicking his tongue.

“Well… do you wanna know what I’d do to you in my dreams?”

You nodded at him, genuinely curious as to what he dreamed about when you weren’t there with him. His forehead pressed against yours as his lips were centimeters away from your lips, his hands trailing from your waist down to your ass.

“In my dreams… I’d have you sit on my face and I’d make you cum over and over again until your legs give out..”

The image Miguel just gave you nearly made you collapse. You felt weak to your knees, a gentle whine escaping your lips. Miguel squeezed your thighs and kissed you once more, his hands moving up to the hem of your shirt. He parted from you to look at your face.

“Can I?” Miguel asked, wanting to make sure you were okay with this before he went any farther.

You looked at him for a few moments before making a decision, whispering out a small “Yes” to him. He took that as his green light and gently took your coat off first before moving to your shirt. He rolled the material up your body and over your head, helping you take your shirt off. Once you were topless in front of him, Miguel’s eyes scanned your chest. He muttered something quietly in Spanish before letting out a breathy sigh.

“Have I ever told you just how beautiful you are?” He coos softly.

Your face burned up as you felt vulnerable in front of him, but when Miguel spoke, you slowly started to become more comfortable. A bashful expression appeared on your face as you just shook your head.

“Not entirely…”

Miguel hummed gently as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, reaching towards your back to unclip your bra.

“Well… I think you’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever met… every time I see you, it’s always hard for me to look away. Shit, baby, it’s even hard for me to look away in my dreams. I wouldn’t give it up for any other view… you’re so fucking beautiful, sweetheart” Miguel spoke in between kisses to your face and lips while gently kneading your exposed breasts.

You couldn’t help but moan at his words mixed with his touch, kissing him back each time he placed a kiss onto your soft lips. Miguel couldn’t get enough of the sweet sounds you made, craving even more from you. His hands moved down to unbutton your pants, taking off every last piece of clothing on your body before leaving you completely naked in front of him. Miguel’s breath hitched as he looked at your body.

It was even better than he imagined in his dreams.

Miguel placed small kisses down your neck and collarbone until he made it to your breasts, gently kissing and sucking one while his hand toyed with the other. The sensation made you moan a little louder, biting down on your lip to contain yourself. Miguel seemed to take notice of this and removed his mouth from your nipple.

“You don’t have to be quiet, muñeca… it’s just us. I wanna hear your pretty moans.. god, I’ve been dreaming about this for so long…”

As soon as he said that, his hands gripped your hips and he stared at you with nothing but lust in his eyes. Suddenly, he placed you on top of him as he laid down on the large table in the room. You could feel the tent in his pants right against your wet pussy, a low whine leaving your lips which caused Miguel to groan softly.

“Want you to sit on my face, querida… please…” Miguel begged softly, his hands still on your hips.

You let out a whimper at his request, reluctantly moving so your hips were directly above his face. You were hovering over him, not knowing what else to do. Miguel let out a quiet sigh, not wanting to wait any longer. He wanted to taste you… he had to taste you.

“You’re hovering, sweetheart. Lower your hips for me, ‘kay?” Miguel instructed, looking up at you from between your legs.

You looked down at him, slightly embarrassed from the position you were in. Regardless of how shy you became, you obeyed Miguel anyways, slowly lowering your hips a little.

“Is this g-“ Before you could even get your question out, Miguel’s mouth immediately attached to your clit.

You let out a loud gasp and moaned, Miguel’s tongue exploring your folds and licking up your juices. He let out a low growl that sent vibrations through your body, making you squirm and cry out.

“Joder, nena, sabes tan dulce… todo para mi~” Miguel moaned, his head moving up more to lick and suck on your clit again.

You whimpered as he sucked on your clit again, afraid that you would crush him if you moved your hips any lower. Miguel’s hands moved up to your ass and groped it tightly, his tongue poking your hole and sliding inside of you. The warm and wet feeling made your hands slam down on the table, trying not to drop your hips directly onto his face. Small pants left your mouth as his tongue fucked your hole and his nose brushed up against your sensitive clit, moaning as you kept your eyes shut tightly.

That’s when you felt Miguel’s hands grip your hips and his tongue slips out of your pussy, making you whine in response. You gasp as he pulls your hips down with such force, your eyes widening as you look down at him.

“Ay, Cariño, what did I tell you ‘bout the hovering? Stop hovering and sit on my face” Miguel scolded, spanking your ass as he goes back to licking and sucking your poor abused clit.

You cried out as you felt a new wave of pleasure form inside you, sobbing as he hit all of your spots with his mouth.

“Miguel~! Mig-“ You gasped, pulling his hair with one hand as the other stayed on the table for support.

But Miguel could care less if you suffocated him. Hell, he wanted you to. The sound of his name coming from your lips nearly made him cum in his pants right then and there. Every pretty noise that came out of your mouth was better than his dreams alone, not wanting you to stop. Miguel kissed and teased your clit more, savoring your taste as much as possible. His breath grew heavier and heavier as sweat trickled down his temples, burying his face in your pussy.

Miguel’s mouth left your clit with a small ‘pop’ as he re-entered his tongue inside your soaked hole, making you rut your hips against his face. The way his nose bumped your clit and his warm tongue stuffed inside you made your eyes roll back, your legs twitching already.

“God, don’t stop~ please don’t stop, Miggy~ feels s’good~” You begged pathetically, your shy demeanor now leaving your body.

Miguel moaned against you and spanked your ass hard once more, his fingers digging into your thighs. His own hips twitched against nothing as he listened to your pleads and moans, fucking you with his tongue relentlessly. With the way you begged so nicely for him to keep going, Miguel swore he could feel his precum seeping through his boxers and pants. How could he refuse you?

“Miguel-! I- I think I’m-“ You tried to warn him that you were close, your legs nearly giving out on you.

If it weren’t for Miguel’s large hands holding your hips up, you definitely would’ve collapsed on his face. But you were so desperate to cum, continuing to grind on his face as he licked a fat stripe from your hole to your clit. He caught his breath and looked up at you for a moment, his eyes dark and full of arousal.

“Go ahead, princesa… cum for me” Miguel moaned, going back to sucking your clit.

With just those words alone, the coil inside your stomach broke. You cried out loudly as you came, chanting his name over and over again. Your legs shook and you nearly collapsed onto him, Miguel catching you just in time. He licked up every drop of your release, making sure to not let it go to waste. You whimpered as he continued to lick your sensitive pussy, becoming overstimulated from his tongue. Your hands pressed down onto the table to hold yourself up, catching your breath as you carefully crawled off of his face.

As you sat down on the table next to Miguel, he sat up straight and faced you, panting heavily. Your eyes widened as you saw his chin was soaked from your juices, a dark blush forming across your cheeks. Miguel noticed your face as he finally caught his breath, a small laugh leaving his lips.

“How do you feel?” Miguel asked, licking his lips and wiping his chin off with his coat sleeve.

A soft breath left your mouth as you looked at him, a sheepish smile forming on your face, “I feel… I feel like that was the best thing I’ve ever experienced..”

Miguel chuckled and leaned over to you, placing a tender kiss to your lips. You melted against him and returned the kiss, slowly pulling away to look at him.

“I’m glad I could make you feel like that… say, uh… our shift actually ended like… 10 minutes ago” Miguel spoke as he checked his watch.

Your eyes widened as you looked around for your discarded clothes, Miguel quickly grabbing them before you could get off of the table.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I got it. Just sit for a little bit, catch your breath” He mumbled, putting your clothes back on for you.

Your chest fluttered as he did so, smiling at him in a loving way. Miguel noticed this and chuckled as he helped you put your panties back on.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing… I was just wondering.. do you wanna stay the night at my place?” You offered, moving your hips a little as Miguel clothed you.

Miguel grinned widely at the offer, placing a peck to your forehead and nodding.

“Of course, I’d like that… I’ll buy dinner for us on the way there. My treat for this” Miguel hummed, putting your shirt on and placing soft kisses to your knuckles.

Your smile widened as he said that, pulling him in for a kiss. Miguel wrapped his arms around you as he kissed you back, his forehead pressed against yours as you two pulled away. He helped you off of the table and the both of you made your way out of the building, holding your hand and rubbing his thumb across your skin.

“Oh, by the way… I heard everything that happened with your co-workers. I was listening the whole time” Miguel admitted, looking over at you.

Your head whipped over to him, a surprised expression on your face. “You were-??”

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it. I actually got promoted as a manager a few weeks ago, so…”

Your eyes widened as a small gasp left your lips. “Wait, so that means-“

“That means you won’t be having to deal with them for much longer. I know those assholes have been messing with you since you got here… plus, everything they said about you is wrong. You’re the best worker this place has to offer and those dickheads have been here longer than you have” Miguel responded to you, placing a kiss to your temple.

A grin formed on your lips as joy filled your chest, squeezing Miguel’s hand.

“Thank you, Miguel… that means everything to me.”

“Of course. I gotta make sure my girl is okay.”

You let out a laugh as he said that, placing a soft kiss on his cheek as you walked with him down the street.

“So, is that your way of saying I’m your girlfriend now?” You chuckled.

“Only if you want to be” Miguel answered with a smirk.

You gently smacked his shoulder with your other hand and scoffed playfully, earning a laugh from him.

“Of course I do, Miguel.”

“Good. Because I’m not letting you go.”

[cuubism]

physical therapy, part 6.

--

Hob's been wavering on things like timeline with Dream because, well, he doesn't want to push, but he does obviously want more. There's a lot that he wants, and he thinks Dream wants it too. But Hob can be patient. Definitely. For sure. He's the epitome of patience.

In any case, after a few more dates which are oh so very patient, and in which Dream seems to be gradually coming more and more out of his shell, Hob finally takes the plunge and texts him:

If you want, come over to my place this weekend and I'll cook for you, and adds his address.

He paces nervously while waiting for a response. Dream coming over... he doesn't know how that would end. Well, it would hopefully at least end in Dream eating a proper meal, but other than that...

It's really not so long before he gets a response, though it feels like an eternity.

Okay, writes Dream, with a smile. 🙂 Should I bring anything?

Just yourself, writes Hob.

A shame, for I was planning to arrive incorporeally.

Hob smiles to himself at the comment. Dream is so much brighter once he decides he’s allowed to be.

On the agreed-upon date, Hob spends a truly excessive amount of time getting ready. He’s not even cooking anything elaborate, as he felt convinced he’d wind up fucking it up out of nerves if he did. But really, the quality of his food isn’t the wild card. What he’s nervous about is Dream’s response to being in his home. To being alone. Whether he’ll be okay with it. He doesn’t want to make Dream nervous.

But Dream arrives on time, and he’s smiling when Hob opens the door. He’s also carrying a huge canvas.

Oh!” Hob says, distracted from even kissing him hello. “What have you got there?”

“It is for you,” Dream says, and turns the canvas around so Hob can see it.

It’s a large painting of a rather clever-looking cat, bright colors and bold swathes of paint. It reminds Hob of Dream’s finger paintings, actually, but far more precise in technique. It’s lovely. It’s so cute. And much more playful than Dream’s older art, the pieces he had shown Hob from before his injury.

“Oh, it’s gorgeous,”  he says, and Dream smiles shyly. “I take it your grip’s been feeling steadier, then?”

“Somewhat,” Dream says, following Hob deeper into the flat, as Hob takes the painting and sets it on top of a low bookshelf, propped against the wall. Later he’ll have to hang it up properly. “I am. Enjoying painting again. I think.”

It’s so good to hear. Each time Hob sees Dream he seems incrementally better. Less frozen. More outgoing. And it always makes Hob realize that he’s only gotten to see a fraction of the life that truly exists inside of him.

“I’m so glad to hear that, darling,” he says.

It hurts to think of the version of Dream that might have been there before being hurt. But Hob likes the Dream that he gets to know now.

He leads Dream into the kitchen and bids him to sit down at the table while Hob serves their food, which is staying warm on the stove. Normally, when he invites someone over, he’d offer them wine, but he doesn’t want Dream to get the wrong idea. God, he’s probably massively overthinking things. He’s being totally paranoid, he knows it. But it feels so important that it be right. He’d never forgive himself if he made Dream feel unsafe around him, even if it was by accident.

“I am curious what you’ve prepared to attempt to persuade me to change my habits,” Dream says, after taking a sip of the water Hob’s handed him.

“Something with a lot of butter,” Hob says, and Dream laughs softly. Dream needs it, though. He needs something that’ll stick to his bones.

What he has is tarragon chicken—fried in, truly, an excessive amount of butter—served over rice with string beans. If this can’t encourage Dream to eat real meals, nothing can.

And, gratifyingly, he’s right. Dream devours it, and has seconds. As he eats his own serving more sedately Hob wonders when the last time was that somebody actually cooked for him.

They barely even talk, but Hob doesn’t mind. He just wants Dream to eat.

“You can cook,” Dream says, and Hob laughs.

“Was that in question?”

A light blush graces Dream’s cheeks. “When you first mentioned cooking for me, I had the thought that you were a catch. For that reason among others.”

Hob can’t help himself from smiling—and perhaps blushing a bit, too. “I’ll have to keep it up, and maybe you’ll keep me.”

Dream looks down at his food, but murmurs, “I would like to.”

So Hob takes his hand on the table and squeezes it.

Later in the evening, when they’ve been ensconced on the couch for a while watching mindless telly, Dream’s head on his shoulder, Hob says, “You can stay over if you want. No expectations. Just don’t want you walking home in the dark.”

He’ll walk Dream home if that’s what he really wants, but it’s already midnight and it really might be easier to just stay put.

“Am I allowed to stay over in your bed?” Dream asks, and Hob’s pulse jumps.

“That’s what you want?”

Dream nods.

So, heart still beating hard, Hob says, “Alright. Come on, then.”

And Dream takes his hand as Hob draws him up.

He gets Dream situated with some of his pajamas, which are far too large on him, and with a spare toothbrush and so on, and when they’re finally ready he tries not to be too awkward or nervous as he climbs into bed and gestures Dream to follow, saying, “Come on, love.”

He expects Dream might hesitate, but he doesn’t, just crawls into bed after him and presses himself all up against Hob’s body, laying his head on Hob’s chest. And— God. He’s really decided that he trusts Hob. It puts a lump in Hob’s throat.

He feels like a fucking teenager again, stomach all fluttery just at the feeling of Dream lying against him. In past relationships, Hob had mostly jumped in sex-first, questions-later. But maybe there are more benefits to taking things slow than he thought. It makes every tiny thing feel monumental.

“Comfortable?” he asks, and Dream nods, hair brushing Hob’s chin.

“Yes, thank you.”

Hob pulls the blankets up over them, pets his hair. Dream lets out a long, happy sigh, and snuggles closer.

I’m going to keep you, Hob thinks. “Goodnight, Dream,” he says.

[yourstrulyrika]

happy new year people. i disappeared for some time but i was farming for my babygirl ruan mei. also i have the biggest hungover so sorry if my fic below’s gonna be a bit rusty…?? but anyway!!

just look at her. i need HER

bdkdbdkdbdj!!! anyway to the actual smut now

characters — ethan winters, leon kennedy, chris redfield

type of fic — headcanons!! (i will write a proper fic one day no worries)

today’s topic: riding!

warnings — fem!reader, besides that none, it’s mostly comfort sex of some sorts because i looveee it, but there’s just a bit of angst in Leon’s and Ethan’s parts. mostly in Leon’s. also spoilers for re8.

Re8!Ethan Winters

— okay hear me out. after the whole village thing this man became PARANOID. who wouldn’t really? let’s assume you’re in place of Mia. he’s always over you after that, overprotective is not strong enough of a word. and you, being his beloved, couldn’t watch him stress himself into oblivion. and that’s where the idea came.

— at first, Ethan was a bit surprised. he’s a total service dom, of course he agreed, but you never really proposed this idea. not that he doesn’t like it!!

— so when you started peppering kisses all over his face, cupping his cheeks and kissing his pretty features, he let out the prettiest moan you ever heard. it straight out sounded *angelic*. and that just confirmed how excited he is beneath all this anxiety. you’re not even riding him yet, and he’s already the prettiest mess <3

— but when you actually took him inside? he’s sure he got *blessed*. that’s what he is. blessed. totally lost his mind the second you took him whole. and when you start moving? dear god, he’s so quick to cum, he’s a little embarrassed. but you comfort him and tell him it’s okay <3

— during the whole thing though, he’s always holding you. he’s never ever separated from you, nope, always holding your hand, or his hands on your hips, cupping your breasts or pretty cheeks and kissing all over you, just like you did to him <3 sex with Ethan is always so comforting to both of you. also, Ethan totally adores tits. like he loves your titties, no matter the size. just a thought <3

Vendetta!Leon Kennedy

— okay hear me out. i picked vendetta Leon because this man needs love. i genuinely love vendetta Leon so fucking much.

— he’s always so tired, doesn’t want to do a thing even when you’re around, he doesn’t even propose sex anymore. he feels *guilty*, like he’s neglecting you, but he’s just too tired to be his dominant self. he needs a break, and some love, desperately. and you plan on giving him just that

— he’s not sure why you stick around him. why you still love him when he’s a total mess. when you ask him to let you ride him, he didn’t know what to say. it wouldn’t be the first time, no, but it’s just— something in his mind. why would you want to do that? did you pity him? is that what this is about? but then you kiss him. and he agrees instantly, melting into the kiss.

— he actually got so hard when you straddled him. when you fished his cock out, it was already throbbing against his stomach. you started with showing love to him (and his cock), and he quite literally started tearing up. he needed this, even if he didn’t know that earlier. he’s not making much sounds, but you just know he loves it.

— he wanted to instantly return the favor but you made him just sit prettily and take it. he reluctantly agreed. when you start riding him, god, he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman. an angel, his angel. just watching how your pussy takes his cock, swallows him whole (no re4 pun intended btw), your juices mixing — it makes him lose his mind. he actually takes a bit of time to cum, and you know, Leon IS observant . so when he notices you growing even a bit tired, he takes control and guides your hips. no denials, nope, you’re being guided, end of discussion.

— when he cums, it’s inside you, vulnerable tears leaking down his cheeks. you kiss all of them away, and Leon smiles for the first time in eternity. he’s so grateful for you <3

Re8!Chris Redfield

— HAVE YOU SEEN HIS TITS? HAVE YOU SEEN THEM TITS????? dear god im feral for this MANWHORE!!! he is a slut. a whore. himbo.

— when you proposed riding, he was like yeah okay, because he’s a hard dom, okay? he’s a dom. he’s controlling the place even when you’re on top. you’re still *under his control* when riding him. and it’s fucking hot. if you want him to be sub, tie him up. that’s the only way btw.

— anyway! when you actually start riding him, his hands NEVER leave your hips. gripping them so hard he leaves bruises, makes you bounce hard on his dick just to see your body bounce. specifically your tits. if you’re doing reverse cowgirl though? dear god he loves it. loves slapping your ass, loves watching it jiggle. it either has to be ass or tits, he’s always appreciating one of them if not both. depends on how you ride him.

— his head is buried in your chest/shoulder, lets out the hottest grunt there dear god. it’s muffled by your skin, but it makes *you* cum on the spot. he just chuckles, praising you and calling you his pretty girl. also. he knows you love when he rubs his beard against your skin — he does just that. he loves making you clench around him, makes him feel powerful.

— so we all agree that Chris is HUGE right? Like 8 inches or 9. (this is literally the most, more than 9 inches would actually hurt you. remember that big cock is not everything !!! too big hurts !!! smaller don’t!!) also he’s fucking thick. fills you up so well. doesn’t matter if you’re chubby, skinny, whatever, he makes a belly bulge every time. and he ADORES IT. he cums on the spot when he sees that. and the amounts of cum he spills out? he fills you up like you’re a cream puff. filled with cum that if he pulls out, you’re leaking it down your thighs instantly. and he’s so proud of himself!

end!

sorry guys, had to disappear for a while </3 back to farming honkai i go. wish me luck, i have the biggest fucking hungover after new years eve ahhh. ALSO! ETHAN AND CHRIS NEED MORE SMUT. PLEASE. IM DESPERATE DIDBFKDB i love all ethan and chris writers lemme gimme u a kiss. happy new years again btw!!

[dairy-farmer]

I call this the Highlander Au! >:Dc There can Be Only One! (Unless he REALLY enjoys the process and the world stops going to shit for like... FIVE god damned minutes!) (The second is sadly unlikely)

Tim? Fully Cis gendered male. Not terribly ATTACHED to this, physically, but certainly identifies as Male and has a male body.

Maybe it's been all the near misses. The "all my friends fuckin DIED on my and I mentally spiraled like you wouldn't believe". Could be him finally reclaiming his life. Or yet another horrible mental spiral. Who knows!

But he's decided.

He wants to be a Dad. *sound of various Bats choking and/or dropping things*

Is even seeing anybody? Nope. How the FUCK is he gonna get a baby?! Oh, normal, Bat Paranoid fashion. Cloning tube. Same way Damian happened. He just needs to figure out the maternal DNA and he's golden. Figure out where to hide his tech to stop Villainous Baby Snatching Plots.

Because that's a very real concern.

No you can't talk him out of this. Timmy want himself a baby. Is already designing a nursery and studying child development books. Parenting manuals, getting those little animal onsies, lazer death grids to ward of Ra's ninjas. The works.

Bruce is off to the side, quietly having an aneurysm and choking to death on his own spit. Baby boy? Fatherhood? OFFSPRING!? Alone and not going to LET HIM HELP!? But why would he help!? Bad idea! But. But he needs to BE THERE to TAKE CARE of TIM and the future BABY! Aaaaaaaaa-!!!!!

It's a... "Fun" time. Dick is nearing a nervous breakdown. Bruce not far behind. Damians having Feelings(tm).

Then! At a Wayne Charity Event(tm)? Small glowing child. Looks alien. Is getting upset. People backing away IN A HURRY because they just watched this child WARP REALITY to turn the nearest table into candy.

Tim is there as the face of the family. A hero. Already feeling generally Paternal. Upset baby is Bad. So he goes in, dispite clear protests. Gets low and talks soothing.

But the alien Wants Her MOMMY!

And? Oh. Well there goes the protective amulets JLA Dark made for him. Now he's in an alien dress and? Very much no longer Cis. Guess he would have and DID inherent from his dad's side of the family, no boobs. Tiny. At least he got his mom's killer legs.

And the kiddo isn't scared any more. Since he "looks like mommy".

Except not even remotely, because she warps into being an HOUR later, looking for her daughter and is made of pure light. Thanks him. Doesn't FIX anything. And just leaves. Gee, thanks lady.

There were REPORTERS there. Tim Drake has tits now. Front page news. Great. Ra's is GOING to know and get WEIRD about it.

Tim shrugs. Off to Leslie we go, though. Check up time!

Yep. Full lady bits action. And, hey! Shiny new spleen! So that's nice.

It DOES change his plan though. He didn't, you know, collect any "samples" yet. But? Does... does he NEED too? He COULD concoct a story of "rich person hires mystic to get penis back" after going and getting magiced back.... OR?

He could have someone put a baby in him! *simultaneous Bat Choking Noises*

MUCH easier to defend. THEN he could be changed back, after the baby is weaned. The problem is who to trust? Ra's is ABSOLUTELY going to do everything in his power to get his seed inside Tim new puss. So a seed bank is out. And-

*hands slam on the table*

Obviously! We can't trust anyone outside this house! Villian plots and Ra's specifically! Bat paranoia! W-we will just have to make this sacrifice for you!

.....Weirdly intense, but okay.

Objection! Says Tim's newly no longer Dead team mates. Tim tried to CLONE Kon! OBVIOUSLY it should be Kon! And Bart! Bro Threesome! Let nature decide! (Then kid number 2 is the other Bro, is only FAIR)

ALSO a good point. He did have that promise, if one of them ever got turned into a girl. And a Kon baby WOULD be nice...

Shit! Grayson pulls "last of my legacy and I have so much to make up for" cards!

Is betrayed by his OWN FATHER (Bruce! How COULD YOU!?) Who plays "you saved me from the time steam and nearly died for me, let me help(emotional)" to devastating effect!

Cheating! Howls the Speedster! You're CHEATING!!!

And Tim stands there... kinda confused but finding he's actually Really In To This as people argue over how much THEY want to be the one to put a baby in him? He's never felt this badly WANTED. Desired.

He may not want to go through the whole "actually carrying a baby for 9 months then pushing one out" thing more then once.... but the fighting over him thing? This might be awaking something.

And, well, Kon already made a good point. Why try to control it? Let nature decide~

Everyone can help.

The argument stops dead. For all of the seconds before "who goes first?" Occurs to everyone.

Sadly for THEM, Bruce is a bastard willing to play dirty to get what he wants. And his house his rules. He goes first. After all, he no doubt smirks, none of THEM have the... experience, to handle a virgin properly.

He refuses to allow Tim hurt on his watch.

Got it? Good talk. Tim, with him.

Which is what leads to Tim clawing at the bed and begging like his life depends on it, soaked in sweat, hours later. As Bruce STILL gently, teasingly, RUTHLESSLY eats him out. Puddles worth of lube ruining the sheets and easing his way, as he works calloused fingers DEEP to find spots Tim didn't know he had yet. As they rub and tease and fuck against those spots so relentlessly it feels like Tim's coming apart.

He didn't even know he could MAKE half these noises.

His hole is so wet and sloppy, it's like it's given up. Like his body can do nothing but quiver and twitch under Bruce's hands. Given how big he is? Probably the point. Because he crawls up to loom over Tim like a giant. Presses kisses to his whimpering, sweaty face. And rocks into his exhausted body, filling every inch of him.

It doesn't even hurt. Something that big probably SHOULD for his first time, but Bruce isn't a legendary playboy for nothing. And it just fills and Fills and FILLS. Rubs against everything in a way that makes his toes curl. Makes him want to gasp and cling, even though he's so exhausted.

Bruce just shooshes him. Pulls him close. He won't have to do a thing. He can just cling to Bruce and feel good. Bruce is here. He's got you.

And it's the best thing Tim's ever felt. Forget masturbation, sex is AMAZING. Bruce rocking then thrusting then pounding into his body. Holding tight like something precious. Hammering his good spots still he sees stars. Til he's nearly sobbing, hiccuping, from how good it feels to have his insides all messed up.

Bruce fills him up. All gooey and warm. Picks him up and carries him to a clean bed to get wiped down and tucked in. Cleans up then joins him. Fills him back up and tucks him close. He feels boneless and precious. Sleeps like the dead.

Discovers sex with a puss is AWESOME.

Next morning, he's barely out of Bruce's room before Dick is scooping him up and dragging him into his room. Almost franticly bending him in half as he presses him to the bed, kissing the air out of him. Holding his face as he whispers filthy praise into his lips. Hips relentless as they slam home, pounding at just the right angle.

Like he's trying to make for YEARS of mistakes by pouring it all into pleasure NOW. Clinging tight and trying to fry Tim's brain with how good he can make him feel. Dick buries his faces against Tim's neck and rutts like he's making up for lost time. Fucking Tim through orgasms, spilling again and again, like he's determined to drain his balls dry and wring every last bit of pleasure he CAN out of Tim's exhausted body.

Tim has to threaten to hit him with an alarm clock to let him up. Tim wants LUNCH damn it. They missed breakfast. By a LOT.

But then work calls. Damn it. So he has to get dressed. Double damn it. And he does it, but refuses to be pleased about it. Resolves things. Even gets ahead on work. Only for DAMIAN to walk stiffly into his office. Sus.

The gremlin hands him a frankly VERY well put together report on why he, Damian AL Ghul... should be allowed to fuck a baby into Tim. He has brought along a slide show and genealogical report.

.......Explain.

Damian does. He REALIZED some things about himself. When Tim was discussing becoming a Father. Using the same method as he, himself, was created. Went through a whole "go to the Kent farm and have a life change adventure" character growth arc, as you do. And? Now realizing that he potentially COULD be DIRECTLY involved in the Hypothetical Child's life instead of as an uncle?

He wants in. They could be glorious, combined. AND he firmly believes Tim will be a magnificent Mother. Let him Father your child.

It's a bad idea. Tim knows this. He literally JUST slept with Bruce yesterday and nothing good comes from sleeping with AL Ghul's. They Obsess. But? Fuck it. Maybe THIS is the thing that finally stops the Tim-Gremlin cold war and bring peace to house Wayne once and for all. He unbuckles his belt. Walks over to his resting room.

And Tim KNOWS, even as he's being urgently fucked into the fold out bed, that this is an AWFUL idea. No way in HELL, from the desperate and sloppy thrusts, clinging, panting and whines, is this NOT Damian's first time. He's utterly undone.

Pounding load after load into Tim because it feels too good to stop. All enthusiasm and no skill. Half the pleasure Tim's even GETTING is his own hand, relentlessly teasing his own clit. But? Oh. The feeling of being wanted so BADLY. Of cum, gushing and gushing into him. Knowing it's HIS hole that's so good, it's driving Damian incoherent.

He feels... sexy. It DEFINITELY does something for him. He may not be able to go back. Could see himself enjoying being a milf.

But of course. Business hours end. And he PROMISED! Is swept up by Bart for their threesome. Which, after several rounds and untold loads of near-no-refractary-period speedster cum dumped inside him? Is kinda spotty, in his memory.

All he knows for certain is he wakes up to his sheepish best friends, "Sorry we fucked you unconscious repeatedly" bribes, no voice, and a warm bath. He's also plugged up and FULL full of that premium speedster/half-kryptonian blend cum, because apparently his friend intend to WIN and nothing says victory like overwhelming odds. He'd call them fuckers, but they ARE and hold no remorse. He can't move.

Carry him you bastards.

When he asks where Cassie is, he learns she's apparently trying to harrass the magic users into a making her a temporary "turn me into a dude" amulet. Both as a gift AND so she can join the race for Father Of Tim's Baby. Huh. Interesting new options.

Obviously, throughout ALL of this, ninjas. Because Ra's has never wanted to smash so hard in his LIFE.

Instead, Tim is out here, on Jason's shitty couch. Getting lifted up and slammed down onto his cock. Called baby girl. Princess. Jason's never been harder. Already planning their kids graduation dinner and baby number three.

Tim feeling precious and taken care of and DESIRED. Like the young adult with a first shitty apartment he never got to be. Something so close to normal. Put a baby in him. Fuck him like you love him, like they do this every Saturday night, then eat pizza and watch trash TV. Fill him up.

And if course~ it's a VICIOUS game of Fuck The Tim keep away, up until one day he starts to show. Then Everyone is loving and coddling and in a "No I Am The Father" cold war. The birth is a nightmare, because Tim is slender and more scar tissue then not. But?

Adorable quarter-Kryptonian! With the biggest blue eyes and Tim's porcelain doll face.

Tim is NOT doing that again. Ffffffuck giving birth. And being pregnant! Granted, the EARLY part? He loved. He glowed. Getting pregnant was AWESOME. But later stages? God awful. Clone tube babies from here on out.

Absolute Devastation in the Tom Fucking Community. Babe no! You can't MEAN IT!

Woah, hey! He never said he'd STOP. "Getting Pregnant" is very, VERY enjoyable. He's just refusing to carry SHIT. Birth control for HIM. Scooping that slurry of "leave it up to Nature" out and storing it. Now... Kon stop being smug and hold your son.

-🐼🐼🐼

😭😭😭 tim getting everyone to come to dinner and they all think it was alfred and are like 'this was a great idea alfred! we should all get together like this more often' only for tim to cough and say well actually i called you all here, i figured you all deserved a heads up since i'm going to be undergoing some serious life changes. everyone's confused and then tim says he's going to have a baby.

immediate panic and some disappointment from bruce because he thinks this is a teen pregnancy and he expected better from tim only for tim to have to yell to interrupt everyone and say there is no 'girl', not yet anyway. he's just announcing that he's GOING to have a baby. they're not yet conceived and now the family is dealing with whiplash of how of course TIM would do something like this now they're sitting their listening to him talk about the ideal gene pool given tim's family has a history of mental issues and he's going into some very detailed things like nurseries and everyone just wants him to slow down because tim is still a kid!!! dick is older than him and even HE doesn't feel ready. so everyone is trying to talk tim out of it while tim insists he's ready, he's been going to a therapist for 11 months trying to deal with his issues so he COULD be ready to be a parent.

which of course baffles them even more because???? dick has been trying to get them all into therapist for years and tim just???? went??? on his own????

bruce is of course the least welcoming of tim's ideas of teen parenthood. because what about highschool, college? at least ONE of his kids has to go to college!

tim however says no, says his GED is more than enough.

bruce tries finding other angles, asking what if he just sets tim up with babysitting gigs? make him see kids aren't that great and tim just huffs and said he already did a bunch of babysitting and volunteering at the children's centers in gotham as part of his adoption application!

which ???? just stressed bruce out even more?! because tim had tried to adopt a baby first? but apparently got rejected because of his age, lack of partner, and lack of job which tim loudly says is unfair because bruce was in his 20s when he took in dick and HE hadn't had a partner or a job!

so the family is protesting, despertly trying to get tim to change his mind,,, then tim gets a womb and suddenly the protests die down VERY quick.

[bestworstcase]

Tbh I don't think anyone's saying that Oz has Never Done Anything Wrong Ever, or at least, personally, that's not my belief.

While personally I believe that Oz hasn't tried actually destroying Salem or erasing her from anyone knowing about her at all, I ALSO believe that Salem Is Not an irredeemable monster. I do believe she's trying to overthrow the gods rn, and that she hates the sword of damocles that is the mandate and has been trying to keep Oz from summoning the gods up until now (bc yknow, why wouldn't she try keeping the Relics from him??).

Plus, her fear wouldn't be unfounded (I still believe Oz was gunning for the task for a long time), and the narrative of "Salem is right" can still easily happen. Plus it's not like Oz is innocent; 1. He lied to Salem for their entire marriage 2. He decided to gun for the task Light gave him 3. Hasn't even tried communicating with Salem and 4. Has demonized her in his mind and to those in his circle. Both and neither are at fault imo. Oz fucked up big time, and he knows this, but the belief Salem hates him and his own self hate is keeping him from Actually Doing Anything. I think this also goes for Salem, fear and possibly self hate keeping her from communicating.

I just come from the perspective that both fucked up, Oz a bit more than Salem ofc. I just think that Oz isn't nearly as bad as people make him out to be. Like, this probably sounds really rude so I'm sorry in advance (/gen), but I feel like Oz being paranoid for No Reason and constantly trying to destroy Salem or erase her from public knowledge and demonizing her for No Reason beyond his own paranoia and unwillingness to change makes him seem... almost cartoonishly bad. Like it makes him sound like an abusive husband 100x worse than Adam and Jacques combined. And beyond that, it makes Salem seem completely innocent pre-war, that she was just dealing with her Abusive Husband who's delusional and paranoid.

To me, it doesn't feel nuanced, or at least as nuanced. I DO like the idea, but only as an AU. Not only that but I feel like it'd be really unfriendly to casual fans, people who don't do analysis n stuff, bc unless you bother analyzing every 2 second scene, you won't pick a lot of this up. And this is in terms of the writers, not you lol. Rwby IS meant to be analyzed, but not a lot of people will bother, and those who do haven't exactly picked any of this up.

I do think they're good theories to have though. Really it just gives me an excuse to re-analyze scenes and see if my thinking is flawed. I mean, if it's straight up Confirmed that your theories are right, then I'll be like "Oh, huh, I was wrong". I figured I'd just give insight to what people are probably saying bc I haven't seen anyone say that Oz is an innocent uwu wet paper bag. Cause he's NOT innocent, but I just don't think he's as bad or evil as people insist he is. And I do my best to analyze without any form of bias. I *did* come to the same conclusion about Salem lol.

Anyways sorry, this got long dhchvj. I hope I don't sound rude, I'm really tone blind (autism), I'm just doing my best to give insight to what people think. Cause trust me, it annoys me just as much as you to see people try to claim that Oz is innocent or that Salem is an irredeemable abusive witch. Cause obv neither is true lmao.

I hope you have a good day :] /gen

you’re fine. 

the core issue i have with the reasoning laid out here is that it demands a presupposition that oz is… well, a miserable spineless cowardly fraud who’s spent untold millennia pretending to believe in a pointless cause that he knows he will never lift a finger to advance in any meaningful sense. because it’s made quite clear that ozpin’s inner circle believes that they’ve been at war with salem for decades, that the huntsmen academies are fortresses oz built not to merely defend the relics but specifically to "stop salem"—that’s the language qrow uses in V4 and oz echoes it in V5—and that this is what oz has been doing for centuries if not   thousands of years, fighting to protect remnant from salem. 

the way qrow discusses the great war in both WOR and V4 insinuates that the conflict was really a proxy war between oz and salem, glynda chides ironwood by telling him "ozpin has experience the rest of us lack," in V3 the inner circle tells pyrrha "we are the protectors of this world" and "our group was founded [hundreds of years ago] to protect both mankind and the maidens" by "remov[ing] the maidens from the public eye, allowing their existence to fade away into legend." or as qrow puts it in V2, "we’re the ones that keep the world safe from the evils no one even knows about!"—i.e., from salem—"[which is] why we meet behind closed doors, why we work in the shadows."

now, while ozpin’s difficult relationship with the truth means we do need to be skeptical as to the veracity of these historical claims… the inner circle is circumspect on the details, but they’re not lying or misrepresenting the purpose of their group. they earnestly believe these things because this what ozpin told them, and in V5 we see oz recount the same general narrative to team RNJR: "i am the combination of countless men who have spent their lives trying to protect the people of remnant […] this curse was bestowed on me by the gods because i failed to stop salem in the past, but we must stop her now."

so there is no ambiguity at all about the story oz tells his closest allies: he is trying to protect the world from an ancient hidden evil called salem, who defeated him once in the distant past but can be stopped now by keeping the relics out of her hands, and in order to do that it is essential to keep the relics and the maidens secret (lest world rip itself apart in wars to claim this incredible power) and likewise to ensure that salem’s existence remains hidden (lest everyone panic and be wiped out by grimm). oz and his inner circle frame this as an secret struggle that has been ongoing for centuries, if not thousands of years. 

his inner circle had no reason to disbelieve what ozpin told them prior to jinn’s tale. and even after the lost fable, no one questions the narrative that oz has been fighting salem for a very long time. "ozpin believed that the best way to fight salem was to do it in secret," says ironwood. "ozpin spent his whole life, many lives, keeping this secret," says qrow. later in V7, ironwood describes salem as "an ancient and terrible evil," and in V8 ruby says "this isn’t some new enemy or invading kingdom, this is a force we’ve faced before, for centuries… salem."

for the moment we’ll just accept the presupposition that salem’s war against the huntsmen academies began with the attack on amber following perhaps a decade of planning and careful preparation, incited by whatever happened when she met summer rose, and that before that time salem was not actively participating in shadow war. 

if this is taken to be true, the question with regard to how ozma has spent all this time becomes: do we believe that he’s been doing what he says he has—trying to "stop salem" by guarding the relics and keeping all these secrets—or not? because it is undeniably true that this is what ozma CLAIMS to have been doing for centuries if not millennia. when ozpin tells people this story about who he is and what he’s spent lifetimes trying to do, is it because he genuinely believes that he and salem have been embroiled in a secret cold war all this time, or… is he just lying?

why would he lie about that? 

consider the things he definitely did lie about. why didn’t he tell anyone that salem can’t be killed? he feared they would fall into despair and give up, lose all hope and the will to keep fighting. why did he lie about his personal history with salem? he believes loving her is his greatest mistake ("the hearts of men are easily swayed" etc) and he feels ashamed, guilty, regretful, desperate to make amends yet certain she will never forgive him and terrified that even if she did it would doom the world—the truth is messy and complicated and he’s convinced that what he wants is evil, so he buries it. 

why, then, would he pretend to still be fighting her when he actually isn’t? if ozma had, at some point, resolved this inner turmoil on the side of "salem was right, the god of light is wrong, i am not going to fulfill my task and will instead dedicate my existence to insuring that the relics are never brought together, the best way to protect remnant is by rejecting the gods and their redemption," why would he lie about that? why would he continue to promote faith in the two brothers and the final judgment he foretold long ago (ozpin includes this story in his anthology with notes urging his readers to believe in it and to act each day as if the gods will return tomorrow)? why keep telling his closest allies, his friends, life after life, that he was sent to remnant by the gods themselves to stop salem from changing the world? 

why wouldn’t he change course?—and i want to be very clear that i’m not asking why he wouldn’t seek reconciliation with salem, because emotionally that’s quite a lot harder. but if he decided the divine mandate was bullshit and he wasn’t going to follow it any longer, why would he not… er… stop telling people that the brothers are the Real True Gods who left behind these divine relics which he is put on this world to keep safe until the final judgment? 

ozma strove to keep salem and the relics a secret for lifetimes—and ozpin was stridently opposed to revealing the truth, we see him and his inner circle balk at the idea time and again explicitly because ozpin insists that secrecy is essential to stopping salem, so we have no reason to doubt that he really did feel strongly that keeping these secrets kept people safe—so in the event he changed his mind and came to believe that the brothers were enemies of humanity who must be kept at bay… surely he would shut his mouth. 

but the brothers and their final judgment aren’t a secret! ozpin published that story in a book of fairytales with a commentary telling his readers to prepare themselves to be judged! after jinn’s tale, nobody freaks out about the divine threat of execution should mankind prove unworthy because they already knew that part; it’s the mainstream doctrine of a well-known religion that exists all around the world, which qrow and ozpin had already told them was real and true. 

oz is not a bad person. he certainly isn’t some sort of craven charlatan who’s spent thousands of years exhorting the world to believe in and follow a creed he secretly opposes—even if he still believed that salem was dangerous and needed to be stopped, it would be so simple to cast the gods as dangerous adversaries who must also be prevented from ever coming back. 

like, he wants people to live. he wants the world to be safe, even if at the cost of his own happiness. that is always what ozma is trying to achieve—even during the ozlem kingdom, he sacrificed the happiness he’d found with salem in their little cottage to try uniting the world with her because he truly, genuinely believed his happiness came at the cost of humanity’s salvation. 

it follows that the reason ozpin tells his close allies that it is his god-given task to stop salem by keeping the relics out of her grasp whilst striving for unity and keeping all this a secret, he does so because he truly, genuinely believes that it’s the best way to protect the world. likewise, when he uses his public platform as the headmaster of a prestigious academy to publish an anthology of tales, including the one about the two brothers that articulates the divine mandate exactly, upon which he comments this: 

We have a fragile peace, and in some ways, we are more divided than ever. Even if the gods aren’t real, even if they don’t return to judge us for our deeds, we should act each day as though they are arriving tomorrow. In the end, we will be the arbiters of our fates. We will either create a beautiful, peaceful world and live in harmony together or destroy ourselves and our planet, and the gods will judge what we have chosen.

ozpin really earnestly does believe that proselytizing the brothers, imploring everyone to live as if the gods will return for the final judgment tomorrow, while keeping salem, the maidens, and the relics secret, is necessary and the best way to keep people safe. he wouldn’t be doing this if he thought it didn’t protect people!

so the story he tells his inner circle about WHAT he does—his purpose, his methods, his strategy—is true. it must be true because it would be both reprehensible and beyond foolish for ozpin to convince his allies they’re fighting in a war he knows isn’t real for a cause he doesn’t actually believe in, and ozpin is neither reprehensible nor stupid.

it follows that ozpin a) believes he has been fighting a protracted covert war over the relics with salem since the ages, and b) can be taken at his word when he says that insuring the relics and salem’s existence remain secret is an essential part of his strategy, especially because without fail he prioritizes secrecy above every other concern throughout V1-6 so he’s very much putting his money where his mouth is in that regard.

in V3, the inner circle makes the claim that their predecessors ("this brotherhood"), centuries ago, chose to "remove the maidens from the public eye, allowing them to fade away into legend." while i do have my doubts about the historical accuracy of that claim—a) the nature of the maiden inheritance rules would make it very difficult to keep the maidens under wraps and b) i think it’s more likely that ozma always intended for the maidens to act covertly, didn’t know what would happen when the first four died, and only pieced it together after a few centuries had gone by and he started to hear stories about young women blessed with magical power and went "…ah."—i don’t think there’s any reason to doubt that the maidens became a fairytale because ozma decided they should be kept secret. 

neither oz nor his inner circle make an exactly equivalent claim about salem… but. the situations are quite similar: the maidens were once "common knowledge," and when ozma first reincarnated he traveled around for years hearing tales of "the witch" wherever he went. some time long ago, ozma and his allies undertook to suppress public knowledge of the maidens, and in the present the last trace remaining is an old fairytale that no one could believe holds any real truth. as for salem, no one knows about her anymore either, and "ozpin spent all his life, many lives keeping this secret." 

the existence of the relics, similarly, is a secret because ozma chose to keep them secret—although the crown seems to have passed through at least a few pairs of hands before ozma tracked it down, hence the fairytale. (this is a subject for another post, but i actually don’t think 'the indecisive king' is about ozma—ozpin’s commentary on it is VERY impersonal and perfunctory compared to what he has to say about 'the infinite man,' 'the girl in the tower,' 'the story of the seasons,' or even 'the grimm child.' i think the original inspiration for the tale was some other person who had the crown before ozma found it, and he included the story because, as he says, he thinks it has an important message.)

so, basically, in the present ozpin and his inner circle are hiding three big secrets: the maidens, the relics, and salem. it’s stated outright that the maidens are secret because ozma and his allies chose to hide them from the world. 

of the relics, three are entirely unknown and one is the subject of a single fairytale of which the reliability is unknown (although my bet is on "the real crown isn’t that straightforward and may not actually work like that at all"); oz has been in possession of all four for at least fifty or so years. we know he found the lamp first, thousands of years ago, that he used both the sword and the crown to end the great war eighty years ago, and ozpin raised atlas using the staff. it’s very likely that he found the other three much earlier. the fairytale inspired by the crown suggests that one might have eluded him for a while.

in any case, once he had them all (and a few centuries had gone by to allow the story about the crown to be forgotten as anything but a fiction), ozma would’ve had nearly absolute power to decide who knew about them—salem being the only other person who could tell anyone, and at the time she didn’t know anything more than "there are four relics of some kind, somewhere in the world, that will call the gods to remnant to judge humankind if they’re ever brought together."

so the relics, too, are secret because ozma decided to keep them secret.

this leaves salem. before the rise and fall of the ozlem kingdom, she lived on the fringes of civilization and knowledge of her existence was widespread. (her decrepit house sat at the end of a paved, well-maintained footpath—she was within walking distance of the nearest town and did not make herself remotely difficult to find.) thousands of years later? nothing but fairytales that are, like 'the story of the seasons' and 'the indecisive king,' either believed to be entirely fictional or (in the case of 'the grimm child') about a real, if very rare, phenomenon unrelated to salem herself. 

this is not something that could have happened at all if salem hadn’t withdrawn from civilization as far as she did—which is one of the core reasons i think she hasn’t been at war with ozma all this time—so she tacitly allowed it to happen. but why did she withdraw so far? 

here is the part where it gets murky and highly speculative because we just don’t know what happened or where she went or what she did in those first few hundred years after the ozlem kingdom fell. it is plausible that salem just ran and kept running until she’d gotten as far away from people as it was possible to get, and stayed there in self-imposed isolation until, well, now—in which case ozma’s effort to suppress the knowledge of her existence would have mainly entailed not telling anyone about her and maybe destroying bits and pieces of the historical record. 

(i do think he’s made an active effort to keep her secret all this time, regardless: that is his first priority at all times until jinn spills the beans in V6, and if he can’t keep the world safe by destroying her then making sure the world doesn’t know she exists is the obvious Plan B. if nobody knows about her, no one can piss off the gods by siding with her. it’s really more a question of whether she put up a fight.)

hooowever. salem is a character defined by loneliness and longing for freedom, which to her explicitly means connection with others. love. companionship. this is why the gods punish her by making her immortal—separating her from the one she loves forever—and then when she overcomes that by going out into the world and turning her immortality into a gift that brings her closer to people and allows her to form new alliances and friendships, rather than a curse imprisoning her in isolation, the gods just. kill everyone. and leave her alone in the ashes. 

and as i said, even when salem is miserably isolating herself before ozma, she isn’t that far away from civilization—she’s living by herself but close enough to somewhere that she could walk into town, and her presence there was not only well-known but welcomed enough that people built a road right to her doorstep. this during a period of her life when she was so profoundly depressed that her house was rotting and falling apart around her! 

the point is that while salem does inarguably have self-isolating tendencies, i… don’t think hers are anywhere close to being as severe as ozma’s. his rendition of himself in 'the story of the seasons' may well be more poetic than literal ("So cold was his heart that the lands around him were covered in snow, the trees were bare, and animals and Creatures of Grimm alike avoided him. For centuries, no one dared disturb his peace…"), but at the time ozma certainly would have had the magical power to freeze all the land for miles around to keep people away from him, and even if it’s only a metaphor for how he felt then the implication is that he hid himself away in total solitude for possibly multiple consecutive lifetimes…

…whereas salem, at her absolute lowest, in the darkest depths of her self-isolating depression, lived by herself a short way from the edge of some town whose residents were probably rather wary of her (she’s not exactly friendly, nor human, and everyone knows she’s a witch) but nevertheless accepted her as a member of their community (because salem certainly wasn’t the one bothering to take care of that path). 

the way things ended between her and ozma, his deception, the deaths of their children, their kingdom collapsing, all of this was extremely traumatic for her and haunts her to this day just as ozma; i have no trouble at all believing that salem would flee to the edge of the world in the immediate aftermath. 

but i find it a lot more difficult to believe that she would stay there for thousands upon thousands of years if the only thing preventing her from returning to the margins of civilization were her own guilt and self-hatred. the gods punishing her by murdering the whole world, being completely alone for hundreds of millions of years, grimming herself, and the way humans would have treated her in an era when faunus were hunted down and caged like beasts wasn’t enough to drive salem into exile. i don’t believe her self-loathing, by itself, is strong enough to overpower her desperation to be free for very long.

i also really doubt that ozma would just, for lack of a better word, trust her to stay gone. especially not if—as jinn implies—he believed salem kept finding him somehow and sending grimm after him, which probably wasn’t true (her command over the grimm seems to be restricted to the ones she makes, and the incarnations we see in this part of the lost fable were not at all significant persons easily identifiable as ozma), but it isn’t an unreasonable fear for him to have? given how badly things ended between them. 

we know salem doesn’t like, obsessively devote her time to scrying until she’s found ozma again (because she doesn’t bother to do that after ozpin dies, she’s caught completely off guard by oscar—and if she doesn’t do so while she is actively waging war against him, it’s unlikely that it ever crossed her mind to try it at all, or else her scrying just doesn’t work that way), but ozma doesn’t have any way of knowing that. we know salem doesn’t control every grimm in the world, and oz seems to have figured that out eventually, but in those first few centuries before he found the lamp? he had no idea what salem might be capable of, what powers she might have hidden from him!

like it isn’t that ozma has No Reason to be paranoid. he knows that he hurt her really badly and that when salem gets hurt she lashes out, often in extremely vindictive and extremely violent ways. (he has no way of knowing that salem has spent these thousands of years clawing her temper under control, and no reason to think she would try.) he probably had no idea to what extent salem being grimm might be influencing her thinking—that’s where all the really deep distortions start to take root, ozma anxiously second-guessing every little thing like were there warning signs i ignored? was he right? did i let infatuation blind me to what she’d become from the very start?—by the time he finds the lamp, assuming jinn didn’t skip over any lives, he’s on his fourth life since the end; that’s a span of like, at least two to three hundred years depending how long he lived and how much time it took him to reincarnate each time. 

that is plenty enough time to convince himself she’s nothing but an evil monster who needs to be put down before he finds the lamp, and then he immediately uses his three questions for that lifetime so it would be another full century after that before he had the opportunity to ask jinn anything about… what salem is doing now, or what she lied to him about, or if she told him the truth after all. which is a terrifying prospect to even consider after a) multiple centuries marinating in an inescapable anxiety torment nexus echo chamber and b) hearing she can’t be destroyed, period. like what if the truth turns out to be "yeah the pool of grimm destroyed her soul and also she wants to burn the world to the ground and eat your heart now because you ruined her FOREVER!!! and there is nothing you or anyone else can do to fix her. you stupid fuck." like his cursed haunted brain keeps screaming at him 24/7?!

so.

we don’t really know anything about this period of time before ozma went after the lamp, except that "no matter where or how he lived, her presence was always felt." jinn combines that with a memory of two beowolves attacking ozma’s town to insinuate that salem kept sending grimm after him, or at least that ozma believed as much. 

but. but—"during his years of travel, he heard the same frightened whispers that spoke of a terrifying sorceress who commanded dark powers in the wilds, among the beasts and monsters. ozma was convinced that this woman was salem, and decided that he needed to see what she had become."

"but no matter where or how he lived, her presence was always felt. if humanity were ever to stand a chance at being united, one thing was clear… [he had to destroy salem.] knowing he could never rid the world of her through any mortal means, ozma sought out the power of the relics: armed with my knowledge, he believed he could fulfill his promise to the god of light."

<- these are parallel statements. everywhere he travels, he hears stories about a witch; no matter where or how he lives, her presence is always felt. ozma was convinced that this terrifying sorceress was salem; ozma grew convinced that he had to destroy salem for humanity’s sake. he needed to see what she had become; he needed to find the lamp to guide him. see the repetition? the echo?

i don’t think salem just vanished into the wilderness. i imagine she ran pretty fucking far, but remnant is a big world and there are people all over—there have even been people living in the southern region of the now-uninhabited continent where salem presumably lives, based on the map shown in WOR: vale. 

(the markers for those settlements are red in color; all the other markers are color-coded to the kingdoms, orange for vacuo, green for vale, while for atlas, blue for mistral, yellow for menagerie and what i assume are a couple of faunus settlements in southern anima, with tracks with the white fang’s headquarters being located vaguely in anima. in the blood-splattered map in the great war episode, there’s a fire burning in the southern peninsula of the uninhabited continent—implying battles were fought there and possibly that some of those red settlements existed as recently as eighty years ago. 

i turn this over in my mind a lot. it doesn’t make any sense to me to think that salem could have been remotely present in civilization anywhere within the past century, but rwby is so particular about color that the only reason to choose red for the now-defunct(?) settlements on the continent where salem lives would be to imply some degree of association with her, and if a WHOLE KINGDOM had been destroyed i think that would have been mentioned so these were probably just free towns and villages—possibly with a loose connection to vacuo? it’s sort of the logical place for displaced peoples from vacuo to wind up after fleeing their conquered kingdom. and in that case their "connection" to salem might be nothing more than her having taken pity on a bunch of refugees with nowhere else to go and kept the grimm off their backs until the great war…happened. but i would like to know.)

…the point being, i think "her presence was always felt" because salem, after some decades, maybe a century, hating herself deep in the wilderness, crept back to lurking on the periphery of civilization because a) ozma was gone and she had no idea where, when, or even if he would ever come back again and b) no matter how determined she is to punish herself, she just isn’t capable of wallowing in abject misery forever, even when she was the only person alive with absolutely no hope she kept moving until she found something to try.

so naturally people would have kept gossiping about the terrifying dark witch who lives in the woods among the beasts and monsters, and ozma would have known it was her. imagine if he’d reincarnated for the second or third time, wound up on a different continent altogether, and immediately started hearing the exact same sort of frightened whispers as before? even if it was pure unfortunate coincidence and salem did not have the slightest idea he was there, how terrifying that would be? and if salem didn’t want him to find her because she was scared or ashamed or angry or all three, then she couldn’t stay in any one place for too long—so this sort of indirect crossing paths oh-gods-she’s-already-found-me nightmare scenario could conceivably happen more than once.

(frankly, even if salem wanted nothing to do with him and was trying her level to avoid him without just never being able to come within sight of another person again, i think her not vanishing forever makes ozma’s intense paranoia so much more understandable because like. very literally, no matter where he lived, her presence would always be there—rumors, frightened whispers, everywhere. of course he’d start seeing her in the shadow of every grimm!)

i don’t think they’ve ever actually come face-to-face since that night—maybe glimpsed each other from afar across a battlefield, but if they’d met or spoken to each other i imagine it would have been necessary for jinn to show it happening. BUT i do think it’s likelier than not that there were several centuries when salem was legitimately an inescapable presence dogging ozma through life after life because she was just sort of… wandering around in a miserable traumatic haze on the very, very edge of civilization. and people talked about her.

so he went for the lamp, and fell into the depths of despair when jinn crushed whatever passed for his hope at that point. that is, almost certainly, what pushed him into his hermit era. 

now! if the fairytale’s centuries of eternal winter isn’t a pure fiction—if there is even the smallest kernel of literal truth in there as to ozma using magic to force people, animals, and grimm to stay far away from him, then. if salem was not already living in exile, this would have been when she began to hear rumors about him. yes? this is the first thing he does that would rise to the level of local legend salem might possibly hear. 

that his seclusion ended with "and then i met four young women who reminded me how to be a person so i gave them my magic" as opposed to "and then salem turned up with thousands of grimm to murder me and salt the earth" suggests that if she wasn’t living in exile at this time, her interest was probably more in avoiding him than vengeance.

and if that’s so, what does she do upon finally discovering where he is? er, probably travel as far away from the Cursed Wizard Forest as it is geographically feasible to go and decide that this is fine, that’s his continent and this is her continent and they can just stay on opposite sides of the planet until the end of time and never have speak to or see each other again. amen. 

if we take the fairytale literally, several centuries pass. lifetimes. enough time for salem to find somewhere to, if not quite belong, at least become a constant because well she’s been here since before granny was even born and no one knows who or what she is because she doesn’t really talk to anyone, but she’s not hurting anyone either, and legend has it that a goliath once attacked our town and the witch just walked out of the woods and exploded it with a glare, and that’s why grimm never come here, so she’s our witch. maybe enough time to send someone halfway across the world to check on the Cursed Wizard Forest to reassure herself that yes ozma’s still there, he’s not going to come after her and he must have come to his senses about the gods so she’s. safe. ish. as long as no one ever finds those relics. 

the fairytale ends with the hermit dividing his magic among the four maidens, and then he says: "My rest is over. It is time for me to resume my journey and work as well."—they didn’t just resuscitate ozma’s will to live, they restored his faith and his commitment to his task. maybe the world can be saved! maybe he can really do it this time, now that he’s found people willing to help him shoulder the burden!

(i do firmly believe that ozma told the original four maidens about his task and salem’s sworn hatred of the gods and the danger she could pose to the world if he emerged to try again, before offering them magic—as we see in v8, he isn’t naturally predisposed to lie or manipulate people, that’s a pattern he only falls into when he feels hopeless and scared. so i think he and the original maidens planned to gather the relics and get to work on uniting humanity, and the vague fairytale ending is an obfuscation.)

aaand i think that’s when he went after salem, because he emerged from his Cursed Wizard Forest after multiple lifetimes rotting in solitude, filled with new hope and ready to try again to complete his task, immediately tripped face-planted into rumors about the witch in the woods AGAIN and panicked. 

he can’t kill her, he can’t get rid of her… she can’t be stopped but, as oz says to hazel, she can be fought and someone has to try. doesn’t he have to try? if he believes the world can be saved, isn’t it his duty to try?—he knows she’ll never, ever bow to the brothers, she made that excruciatingly clear, and as long as she’s present in the world, as long as people might listen to her about the gods, remnant is doomed. so he has to make her go away. somehow. he has to try.

i think for salem all it would take is once. one time. if she still tried after everything to do what was right, leave him alone and not hurt anyone else and pick up the pieces as best she could. because the thing is, salem blames herself for getting her daughters killed in her anger—that’s why she tries so hard to keep her temper in 6.4—she hates herself for lashing out that night as much as ozma hates himself for the same. that self-blame would counterbalance her anger at ozma: yes he lied to her yes he tricked her yes he attacked her but she attacked him right back and now her children are dead.

how much of a temptation is vengeance with that clawing around in her head?

but if her mindset was like, "that was the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me and the worst thing i’ve ever done, and i don’t understand why he lied to me but i just want it to be done, and he’s over there and i’m over here and we can just. leave each other alone forever," and she found a place for herself where she started to feel maybe almost kind of ok again and then ozma violated the truce she’d invented in her mind but never thought to communicate to him by appearing out of the blue to attack her, completely unprovoked as far as she could tell, and whatever little town or village or even just one single person who’d been kind to her got destroyed in the resulting fight?

that’s an injustice. that’s i did nothing to deserve this, how dare you do this to me. 

and… that’s also, i think, the one thing that would compel salem to willingly cut herself off from all civilization and remain in exile for thousands and thousands of years (because she’s impossible to kill and too powerful to force her out if she decides she’s not going to go gently into the night). her fear of collective punishment. if she thought there was even the smallest chance that ozma might start doing what her father did or what his gods did to anyone close to her, i think she’d go and stay gone until she felt absolutely certain she could take him down forever.

(also theres a certain narrative elegance to the idea that they had their horrible mutual-incineration duel where they were equally matched in every way… and then ozma rotted in isolation while salem tried really hard to be okay and convinced herself they could just stay peacefully at a distance forever, until he found a spark of hope that ignited all his desperation so he went after her and she was blindsided by this truly awful and unfair and egregious thing that he did… and then she rots in isolation and ever-mounting desperation while ozma tries really hard to fix everything and pull the world into a semblance of peace until she finds a spark of hope and blindsides him with this brutally ruthless charge for the relics. 

they explode each other, fly in opposite directions—downward spiral vs picking up the pieces—then reach critical mass and explode again so hard they fully reverse positions and do the whole ordeal again. so it’s both a journey of learning to understand each other and a vicious cycle they can only escape by inversion of the first exactly-equal fight that exploded out of nowhere from a seemingly happy partnership, i.e. both reaching out unexpectedly in the midst of a seemingly inescapable conflict. it’s about symmetry)

This Has Been A Very Long Post Sorry About That. but—all speculation about the details aside—i do strongly feel that the most compassionate reading of ozma is that he is completely sincere about whathe’s trying to achieve (uniting humanity without committing genocide or turning salem into a scapegoat so everyone can be saved including her!!) but has absolutely no idea how to make it happen and has only just, in his second-to-last life as the king of vale, accepted the reality that it isn’t possible, and thence the whole building a replica of salem’s father’s castle to put his office in her tower-prison and hucking his emotionally tortured anthology of fairytales out the proverbial window (you know, like the girl in the tower who writes herself out of danger, coming from mr. fairytales this is a tornado siren of a cry for help) so forth. 

thus what he and his inner circle say about his efforts both past and present is true—he has been actively working to keep salem a secret for as long as the maidens have been hidden if not longer. as long as salem cooperated by not wandering around letting other people see and/or talk to and/or run away screaming in terror from her, what "erasing salem from public knowledge and keeping her existence secret" means, practically speaking, is tracking down any texts that clearly describe her as a real person (not a fairytale) or artistic depictions of her from the ozlem kingdom and destroying Those, and perhaps muddying the waters of all those folktales by inventing new nonsense out of whole cloth or mixing stories about her with other stories that definitely aren’t about her to a) blur the details and b) make it look to future scholars like the witch-in-the-woods was a loose folkloric archetype encompassing a huge variety of different beliefs and superstitions as opposed to one very specific kind of story about one very specific witch. 

which is a bit obsessive and weird but given the fate-of-the-world stakes at play here and the plain unarguable fact that humanity cannot be redeemed if anyone sides with salem against the brothers, which is demonstrably something she can accomplish if given the opportunity, honestly pretty restrained. 

and so the million dollar question is: what does it take for salem to cooperate by staying in exile? is the fight in lost fable and her guilt over her daughters shattering enough to lead her to just give up and hide forever alone?—who knows, right now it’s purely a matter for speculation, but i think the circumstantial evidence suggests "no" more strongly than it does "yes." 

which is not to say that she was the pure innocent victim of an abusive revenge quest, but rather that i think the facts of the situation for her would, in the immediate aftermath, tilt her in a more positive direction (he did a horrible thing but so did she, and she’s survived many horrible things before, and she can’t exactly lay down to die instead so she has to do something, and she doesn’t ever want to see him because it hurts so much and she’s so angry but her anger killed her daughters so she cannot ever let it out again so she’ll just have to stay away from him and live with it) whereas ozma. yknow. Spiraled. and her being elusive but inescapably present in the world make that so much worse, which isn’t either of their faults, it’s just a terrible situation.

it’s like. short of literally stumbling into each other by chance and yelling at each other until it was all Out There. i think no matter WHAT she did, ozma was bound to snap and lash out at her sooner or later because he spent centuries. centuries!!! with all this trauma reverberating and intensifying in his head with no reprieve because there were stories about her everywhere he went.

and then as soon as he does that salem’s lifelong extremely traumatic history with collective punishment and her self-hatred and guilt are going to smash together and she’ll run the fuck away to alternately freak herself out and plot his downfall and tailspin while ozma, meanwhile, after a few centuries of her being gone and the endless rumors fading into just old folktales no one really believes anymore, finally gets the distance he needs to catch his fucking breath—his hermit era doesn’t count he was just ruminating for centuries—so he can focus on other things. and by then keeping her a secret mostly boils down to "don’t talk about her" lmao

his paranoia never really goes away, as we see in 9.10, although he does also get really complacent by ozpin’s time, and i think it’s irrational and grounded in a lot of very wrong conclusions he reached during those first couple centuries of Spiraling—but given what he did and did not know at the time i do also think the reasoning and inferences he made were fairly logical; it becomes irrational over time as the reality of the situation (salem avoiding him) increasingly doesn’t line up with his perception, but as we see in V2-3 ozpin is supremely, irrationally confident that salem is not about to unleash a major attack, which suggests that on some level he’s aware that his paranoid beliefs are unsound even if he hasn’t yet had the conscious realization. he’s right on the cusp. 

& then none of this precludes smaller scale, limited conflicts like e.g. salem assassinating a troublesome member of his inner circle or throwing grimm at people to intensify social conflicts and insure ozma never gets comfortable enough to invite his gods to remnant. i’m very sure that salem has made it a habit to check in on him at regular intervals and cause problems if it looks like he’s doing too well because she Does Not Want him to ever summon his gods. and that’s obviously going to be one-sided because i don’t think ozma actually knows where she’s hiding, and salem’s terror of collective punishment is her own seething bundle of irrational paranoia, because after he digs himself out of Spiraling ozma absolutely would not kill people just because they happened to be near her. 

[your-local-hoemie]

ꕥgenshin impactꕥ boyfriend head-canons. Number 2 Liyue boogaloo~

The first one I did got so much attention like thank you so much, I’d die for you all ^^

No I didn’t put xiao first because I was too excited to write him and no I didn’t get carried away with his scenario. Shut up.

I’m still super busy, I kid you fucking not I’ve been trying to get fired but it isn’t working for some god damn reason and I’ve had like four hours sleep in total since my last request so I apologise if this is completely incoherent, I am rapidly becoming very unhinged <33

This was just for funsies and to keep me sane so I still apologise for not get to any requests at the moment :(

Summary: Just the Liyue boys as your S/O uwu

Warnings: fluff, swearing, established relationship, gn!reader, a little suggestive (childe), not proof-read.

Characters: Xiao, Zhongli, Childe (I know he’s from that Russian place I can’t spell for the life of me but shush).

I really wanted to do baizhu but I just pulled him and I wanna go through his story so I can really get his character traits, I’ll be doing my fruity baby in the future~

Xiao~

Oh my sweet baby

My boy

The man, the myth :(, the legend~

He’s the reason my standards are too high

Curse his pretty face

Absolutely oblivious before confessing

Everyone around him could tell how different he was around you

But no matter how much they mentioned it he’d just be like

“Adepti have no need for such feelings, you mortals have such foolish ideas and no respect”

Meanwhile he’s trying his best to stomach the cake you made him just because you made it for him

At first he genuinely thought you were kinda annoying lmao

Always being so nice to him and wouldn’t leave him alone

Only when you went away to Inazuma did he realise how much he grew accustomed to your strange daily rituals of bringing him qingxings that you picked yourself just to follow him around like a puppy

I actually don’t think he’d appreciate being given too much almond tofu

Even though he likes it better than any other food can you imagine being fed the same thing everyday non stop :/

Proceeded to ask his dad Zhongli for advice

He doesn’t understand why he feels all weird and tingly

Genuinely thinks it’s his karmic debt

Zhongli proceeds to be a shit and tell’s him to “find out on his own” for some kind of moral lesson or something idfk

When he accidentally brings it up with Goldet, things get fun

Well not really for him but for everyone else’s entertainment, yes

Even with exTREME reluctance he somehow gets roped into “how to express emotions 101” lessons

Has to practice having a full conversation with a scarecrow that Goldet ever so kindly dragged in for him :)

Embarrassed, Humiliated, overwhelmed

And yet still he persists for reasons unbeknownst to him

It isn’t until he overhears some rumours about a show down between the electro archon and a mortal that he realises he might like like you

That and the constant teasing and encouragement from Zhongli and Goldet

Boys distraught

First of all he can’t have feelings for someone

He’s just going to hurt you!

He has a duty to uphold!

Only after brooding to himself for a few days does he accept it

Take it slow with him please, he may be a demon killing yaksha but he’s so scared and paranoid

Red flags? Nah we colour blind here

When you get back from Inazuma it’s very clear that your patience is thin and energy being nonexistent

Fuck you tsurimi island I hope you burn

So seeing when returning to Wangsheng Inn to find the one person you’d be holding out to see after so long, not there and a letter left to you telling you to head to the top of gingyun peak

You were not happy to say the least

Thought it was another commission and almost didn’t go

Curiosity got the better tho and that’s where he awkwardly gave you his own qingxing flowers and a amusingly bad attempt at making your favourite food

Tries to hide how red he is

Seeing you cloaked in the moonlight, leaves and fireflies framing your pretty face~

Boys a mess~

He doesn’t even have to say anything, you just pull him in for a hug and after the initial shock of it he decides then and there that you’re now bound together <3

Rarely openly admits he loves you

Too scary

At least for the moment

He is a bird

So you know what that means?

Bird behaviour goobery activated~

Brings you flowers, pebbles, crystals and anything “pretty” he comes across during his day

Pda is a no unless you want him teleporting away and pouting for a good 48 hours because he got flustered

When you’re alone though he’s more open

Hand holding, forehead kisses, sometimes even cuddling if the planets align and his karma isn’t bothering him as much that day!

He’s so touch starved he just needs to get used to affection ;-;

Stalks you romantically

He just wants to keep you safe, he’s lost so much and gone through unimaginable pain

It took some time for him to be ok with you being so close to him since he’s scared of his karmic debt hurting you

Gets super red when talking about you~

“Hm? Y/N? Well they’re..um..very important to me I suppose”

Poof. he’s suddenly “needed” somewhere else

Even if it doesn’t seem like he cares too much I can assure you that he treasures you

You’ve given his life filled with pain and loss so much meaning and even though he’s bad with expressing his emotions he’ll always find some way to make sure you know how special you are to him <3

I don’t think he’d use much pet names

Either calls you by your first name/Qingxing/sweetheart/love.

Zhongli~

Mmm fancy gentleman

British but if British people weren’t a mistake

Sighs in being British

He’s such a gentle dude ;-;

Always pulling chairs out for you or kissing your hand while holding a door open

Don’t be mistaken though

He’s an absolute smug little shit

He just hides it very well

Teases you in the most unholy of ways only to look at you with confused innocent eyes

Impossible to be mad at istg

Sliced fruit dad™️

Teaches you how to traditionally make tea after he noticed you using tea bags

Genuinely mortified him

Likes to take you on walks around Liyue and tells you stories from his life as a archon

Speaking of which I’m 100% sure he was completely unhinged when he was younger

When he first realised he was falling for you he was the sweetest person

He’d take time to somehow “accidentally” cross paths with you and just so happened to be there if you needed help

Brings you the prettiest bouquets of flowers all personally arranged by him

He has experience to a certain degree

We all know the back story and if you don’t I’m not spoiling uwu

When he decided he had dragged it on for long enough he decided to finally confess

Surprisingly nervous

Man had to keep adjusting his collar and tie and absolutely wasn’t sweating just a little

Made casual conversation while walking with you to that big crystal tree where he kept his traumatised dog

Held both of your hands right as the sun spilled golden sunlight across the mountains and probably end up cupping your cheek with the softest smile ;-;

“I have witnessed many beauties in my time but the warmth of your smile truly is the most awe inspiring sight I ever have and ever will lay eyes upon”

Xiao gets so tired of hearing him brag about you

Even Hu Tao is wearing thin 💀

Doesn’t get jealous

He knows he has nothing to worry about between his trust for you and his not very subtle ego

Tries to be better at earning and holding money just because he wants to treat you!

Doesn’t want to give Childe the luxury of knowing his money is the cause of your happiness

Not that it necessarily is anyway

It’s just the experience of seeing how your face lights up when you try that really expensive food you always wanted or find that adorable plush you’d been eyeing up, on your bed

But of course that being said it’s truly the small things you both enjoy the most

The walks and stories

Teaching him how to be more accustomed to mortal life

He loves to hold your hands or pet your head!

Also loved it when you randomly peck his cheek or nose when he’s being adorably oblivious

Good luck to anyone who tries to hurt you btw

Man will summon his pillar so far up their ass they’d legally be a lollipop

That’s a threat I swear

If you come home hurt he’ll immediately roll his sleeve up and grab the first aid

Probably scolding you for not being careful enough but he really can’t keep the act up for long

He’s just worried ;-;

He’s lived for so long

You don’t even begin to understand how much he adores and admires you for bringing excitement and warmth back to his life~

Pet names are darling/dear/love/sweetheart/jewel.

Childe~

Someone slap him please

I love him but good god

Clingy™️

I know deep down he’s a really nice boy and very soft very caring yes very nice 10/10 boyfriend

But you need to housetrain him

Dead ass would sit on the couch covered in blood and put his feet on the coffee table and get so confused to why you were mad 💀

Do not flirt back

Don’t even attempt it

Not unless you want to encourage him and make it 20x worse

You will nEVER live it down

Is actually very sweet though, if not a little dumb sometimes

Immediately knew he liked you the second you met

How did he go about showing he liked you?

Pestering you constantly

Buys you lots of things too

Have to literally threaten him to stop

Which ofc turns him on hardly works

There’s really no winning with him

That is until you realise you can bring the mighty Tartaglia, 11th of the Fatui Harbingers to his knees by just kissing his cheek or holding his hand

He’s so immune to his own teasing that he forgot to consider that affection is a pretty good way to get people to warm up to you

Jealous boy

Well sort of

He trusts you but he gets easily insecure under his cronchy ego front

Casually talks about the most fucked up shit and then laugh it off

Indirectly asked Zhongli for help confessing

Reluctantly Zhongli finds out your favourite food/hobbies/Ect.

Yeah help him but not Xiao, betrayer

I’m not getting salty at my own headcanons shut up

When he invited you to dinner, you already knew why

He’s not subtle

Quiet is the last thing he can do well without cracking up every now and then

Either that or it was the candlelit table surrounded by roses that had been set up for you near the harbour and a very nervous ginger waiting for you with the biggest, goofiest grin imaginable

He’d be on his very best behaviour ;)

Stares at you in the candlelight before you ask him what’s up in hopes to make the tension a little less overwhelming

“I have won countless battles but none have meant quite as much to me as winning your heart does”

Congrats on become Liyues new power couple

He’d be lying if he didn’t feel at least a little smug seeing people gawk at you both

You’re so pretty together, how can they not?

Some dude tried to hit on you one time while he was drunk

Somehow Dottore magically ended up with a new play thing

When he introduced you to his family he was so happy!!

Tonia, Teucer, and Anthon all adore you!!

He does get a little jealous though when you play house with Teucer and you tease him by purposefully refusing to be his spouse

Good job keeping that act up for too long

Has absolutely sent piles of letters to his family telling them all about you!

His parents probably know pretty much everything there is by now

Though if you have boundaries he’ll respect them :)

He loves to show his affection to you no matter where you are!

Teasing kisses, hand holding, hugging

He’ll often barge into your room and plop his head down on your lap just so you can play with his hair while he talks~

If you fall asleep then he’ll wrap you all up and cuddle you uwu

Had to decide if he should tell you about his occupation

He was so scared that you’d leave him or become scared ;-;

Sure, you and the fatui aren’t exactly on close terms but it’s different with him

When you asked to have some time to think he was terrified

Please give him hugs and reassure him when you return

He’s even seemed to calm down a little since you got together

Of course he’s still a battle crazed maniac that gets hard just off the thought of being challenged

But he’s devoting more of his time to cherishing you and spending time together <3

Gets so excited when you ask to spar him

Does the whole thing where he’ll stand behind you while he shows you how to hold his bow

All steamy and shit

Elbow him

You also have to admit his status has its plus points

You never have to worry about being in danger while on commissions or having enough mora to survive

Romantic idiots 3.0

Though you’re probably a little less unhinged

Probably not by much if you’re dating him tho~

When you’re tired or don’t have the time to deal with his neediness he’ll go full pout mode

All whiny and touchy

Give him a head pat and a kiss that lasts maybe a little longer than it should and he’ll satisfied

Expect for the times he carries you back home to enjoy your attention a little more~

Honestly a 50/50

He always makes sure to tell you how much he loves you and how much happier you’ve made his life~

If you look close enough you might even see a slight sparkle in his deep blue eyes that never used to be there <3

Pet names areeee: cutie/babe/baby/honey/droplet/spark/love

I know xiaos was long enough to be it’s own post but let me have my silly little obsession with my silly little traumatised men!

[faejilly]

Shadowhunters prompt! Where the A/B/O thing means Magnus’s attempts to get Alec’s attention are really out there. Alec is charmed but baffled

so uh. I wasn't quite sure where to go with that, because Magnus & Alec's ability to try and communicate at dramatic cross-purposes is Very Them™️, but I usually think the a/b/o thing would make it easier what with pheromones and more defined gender/courting rituals? But then again it's not like Nephilim would have any idea how anyone else does things, and Magnus would be rather paranoid about crossing any lines?

Yeah. That totally works. Even if I failed to explain any of that IN THE FIC, hopefully baffled Alec is still entertaining? LMK if you want more, there's a whole lot more explanation in my head so I'm sure I can come up with something. 😅😅😅

That was Magnus.

In the Institute.

In a suit with a vest but no shirt and those boots and his hair, and Alec suddenly realized he was still standing with his arm raised from opening a door even though the door had shut behind him.

He was alone with Magnus in the Institute foyer and he was gorgeous and he smelled perfect, as warm and comforting as the incense that burned in the chapel without any of the cold tang of adamas-laced stone beneath it that always made Alec's spine straighten and nose wrinkle because that smell meant work.

Alec finally remembered to let his hands drop to his sides, and then realized Magnus had said something, and he was almost smiling and he was...

Holding out a bouquet of flowers?

Alec blinked.

"What."

He didn't manage to make it sound like a question, and he almost winced as Magnus' expression tightened, and he leaned back and he was further away and the flowers were gone, and Alec almost whimpered in disappointment.

"My apologies, of course."

And then somehow Magnus was bowing and he was even further away with a flourish of his hands and a twirl of his coat and the click of his boot-heels on the stone floor and Alec tried to reach out a hand because he still couldn't figure out what Magnus had said, he'd been too distracted by how pretty he was and how nice the flowers were but then he was alone by himself in the Institute with his hand hanging in front of him.

Again.

What.

Why.

Alec sighed, and stared up at the ceiling, as if that would give him the answer, would explain how his why are you giving me flowers when we haven't even rescheduled our date yet and I haven't gotten you anything? somehow come out as why would you think I'd like flowers despite the fact that Alec adored flowers and would love to tell Magnus that.

If he could just remember how to talk when Magnus showed up?

He'd managed to say yes when Magnus asked him out for drinks!

Only then he'd had to chase Clary and apparently Magnus thought that meant something other than literally having to chase Clary because she didn't have the sense God gave sheep.

Izzy or Jace were going to manufacture a disaster and call Magnus to clean it up just to find out what was going on between them, and Alec hated to think how much of a catastrophe they'd manage on purpose, considering the chaos they pulled off all the time mostly by accident.

He hated even more that he was half-tempted to create a disaster himself so Magnus would stop thinking he'd done something wrong and disappearing to regroup before Alec's brain could reboot after seeing him.

How the fuck was one person that attractive, it should be impossible.

Maybe he could write a letter and throw it at Magnus the next time he showed up?

He heard the door he'd come through open, and the stutter of boots as someone had to shift to avoid him where he was still standing by himself right in front of the door.

Alec sighed again. "Yes, Yoshino?"

"I was uh." Yoshino somehow still looked perfectly composed and reasonably elegant in her leathers even as she shrugged and side-stepped to get around him. "Just going out for coffee. Want anything?"

Alec shook his head. "No, thank you."

"You... all right sir?"

Alec lifted his brows at her.

"You've got that smoky cedar smell thing going on, and that usually means you're about to do something on purpose that terrifies the trainees more than their own reckless stupidity, and I just want to know if I should get some extra bold beans to stash in the kitchen for the rest of us so we can keep up."

Alec snorted and shook his head again. "I promise not to scare the trainees."

Yoshino's nose wrinkled as she stared at him. "Two bags then, got it."

He blinked, and she turned and left, and he allowed himself a grin as the door swung closed behind her. That was probably a good idea, actually. He could use the kick to help him figure out a new approach.

[mamawasatesttube]

I am lost in the sauce of thinking about how Bruce would react to Robin!Kon. Does he obsess over the fact that an alternate version of him lost and replaced Tim? Does he feel guilty for not taking Kon in in this version of reality? Is he paranoid about and/or intrigued by the potential of a Superboy with full Robin training?

(Knowing Bruce, it’s probably option D: all of the above, but expressed in the worst way.)

he would stand on the roof and brood. so much.

GOD okay no but delving into the bruce and kon dynamic is so... HNG. it's thorny because bruce has been written as warm and kind to kon AND an anti-meta racist asshole to kon. because of who i am as a person i tend to ignore and throw out the latter bc i want to like bruce and its really impossible to make him consistent as a character without picking and choosing stuff to throw out, but... whoof.

but with that established it's so... augh. the idea of having lost tim (who only ever became robin because he lost jason first - that's two robins, two kids, dead, one after another) absolutely would haunt him. the idea of superboy (an alternate universe superboy, no less, one he knows very little about) knowing all the bat secrets and tips and tricks... well, it's not as bad as it could be, since he does trust clark's judgment and clark trusts superboy and all, but. it's not his favorite thing.

honestly, i think main universe bruce would be so fucking awkward with robin kon, more than anything. he wouldn't know how to handle the horror of his existence + this version of kon who knows him so much better than he knows kon.

what i think is really fun, though, is robin kon's relationship with his own bruce.

tim dies. bruce spirals hard. he's in a dark pit. this is jason all over again - worse, in a way, because he never fully got over jason and now it's happening again and all the old wounds are reopening but now there's new ones on top. he is in a deep, dark pit.

and then superboy joins him there.

this is a young kon. he's still sixteen. he's never experienced loss before. his first brush with grief is his best friend being ripped away from him, and he's barely even a year old. it consumes him.

so he gravitates to the other person being wholly consumed by grief. and here's bruce, broken and grieving hard and furious with the world and himself, faced with another child who loved the child he just lost so much he can't let go. what can he do? can he bring himself to turn aside a boy who loved his boy? tim's best friend? can he really?

of course he can't.

they don't make each other better so much as they just... keep each other on a leash. bruce can't let himself go too far, get too reckless or suicidal or masochistic in punishing himself, because if he has a near-scare there's a boy waiting for him back home to cry and scream and rip into him that he can't do that, he can't, i've already lost tim you can't make me lose you too you can't do that to me you can't.

he trains kon to act as a robin. to wait, to listen, to learn. to hide his strength and his flight, to keep secrets bigger than himself. he trains kon and puts him behind robin's mask - another child in that costume, wearing new colors this time - and hopes he's not making a mistake.

but hey. at least this kid is more... crowbar/explosion/bullet-proof?

[decayandfanfics]

April flowers

Sooo. . . It’s been a while. Uni has been kicking me on the floor, but i wrote this like 6 months ago when i was ovulating probably. Thanks to @t-tomuras for teaching me how to speak english properly kajsdkasj

Shigaraki x Fem!reader. Mentions of Pregnancy and childbirth. Nothing else.

________________________________________________________

If you would have told him that he would be an amazing father, Tomura would probably have given you an undeserving sneer before some biting comment about you being crazier than he gives you credit for.

It doesn’t make it any less true though. Despite his visceral need for space and natural nonchalance, he couldn’t help feeling nervous about your newfound condition. It’s a lost battle between his own hesitance towards the life changing news and the immensity of his love for you, making him fidgety, gentle, moody, and paranoid all at the same time. Thank God by now you are filled and familiar with his general neurosis, so you leave him to his own imaginary torments because trying to fight them is a waste of time and you, swollen and tired and tied to him of all people, already have more than enough on your plate.

It doesn’t really surprise you that he turns out to be a very good dad, though. Regardless of his well known misandry never entirely out of his system and the aversion towards everything nice (like the little grinch he is) the moment curiosity calls him gently, nudging him to hold his brand-new baby, something flips inside him.

It overwhelms him immediately. The way his clammy hands manage to hold the little baby burrito, his face like a deer caught in headlights, looking between the tiny face, yours, and the nurse.

“It’s a girl.”

Then he’s smiling like a moron and you know he is in love.

And it’s funny because he fought the idea of sharing you with some brat during all the pregnancy, never really at peace with the fact that sooner or later you would love someone else more than him, a thought that truly tormented his dry little heart and filled him with dread.

Did it ever occur to him that “yeah, I may love my child like that too”? Well, not really.

Because for Tomura, something like that was nothing but laughable. How could he? If you invented kindness and peace and he needs you. There is nothing like the feeling of having you, wether it be holding his face gently or gasping under his weight. So, the idea of you being needed more than that, needed to survive, to live and grow was nothing but excruciating. And even when he, too, knew he loved his child already, it would never match what he felt for their mother.

Your baby would even eat from you, dammit! and fuck wasn’t he jealous of that.

But of course, you already imagined his whole inner tantrum monologue of envy without him speaking a word of it, completely aware he’s being irrational, and  that was what made it so funny.

Because you knew out of you two, he’d be the one to fall the hardest, and despite the general sexism about men wanting for a boy to make a team, him having a girl is the cherry on top of the cake.

“I thought we could call her Hana.” A simple statement that forever changes his definition of love.

Imagine, him jealous of his own perfect baby daughter. What a ridiculous thought.  

It makes sense then. If you had to choose between the baby and him, he’d gladly, gladly bite the bullet every time. And it’s not like you didn’t foresee this development of events, but it does surprises you when you see him angrily rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt to catch some insurgent tears of joy at the gift you just gave him (but you know better than to say anything about it, don’t you?).

“yeah…I’d like that.”

And boy does he like it.

Tomura has never been afraid of getting his hands dirty, but still it catches you off guard when you find him looking intently at the way you prepare the bottle. The methodical clean, boil, dry of the glass and the subsequent pour, fill, shake, test on the skin of your wrist.

So next time he tries it, carefully and quietly without asking you for help, getting familiar with the process until it is natural on his hands like the finger he keeps up at every moment. And even when he’s still weary of touching the baby directly and remains fairly annoyed at the antics of being a months old tiny human, he proves again to be an infallible guardian of her sleep, making you thankful of his bad habit of sleeping at ungodly hours for fucking once until eventually, he ends up rearranging things around the house.

“You like that one, don’t you?'' His voice comes accompanied by the rapid  twfl twfl twfl  of the buttons on his control over the game’s music. “Yeah, it’s not that powerful, but it’s really effective. Watch this.”

You pad quietly out of the shower into the room, where he has improvised a seat against the cradle in front of the tv, allowing the babe to stand by the bars of her crib right next to his head, both of them looking intently at the combo displayed on the screen in an explosion of colors and movement that makes the child scream and bounce in excitement that matches his.

Hana cheers in her own way, you suppose. A joyful screeching as she babbles something unintelligible between her drooling and some weird attempt for “otosan” that never quite lands, but you suspect he likes it even more because of it, even despite the fact that he’s wholeheartedly against being called some shorter westernization like “papa” because something something manners and something something respect. (And yes, that’s another irony that has you raising your eyebrows to your hairline in disbelief but he’s Kurogiri’s child after all, what else did you expect?)

“See? I told you. Hey, don’t eat my hair. Your mom likes it.”

And fatherhood may not make him less sharp nor slaps the edginess out of him, but it does bring out a more playful side of him, the part of him that’s eager to learn and teach, so you find him reading about butterflies just to tell her stories about how the caterpillar becomes a chrysalis before developing wings, and saying stuff like he cannot play if Hana is not there, because she’s the lucky charm and his secret to defeat all the bosses.

Time and time again shows you a new side of Tomura, and it dawns on you that the boy you loved all those years prior is no longer a teen but finally a man, and you cannot help but watch amazed at the growth that happens non stop in front of your own eyes.

And just as he became braver for you, he becomes wiser for her. His natural protectiveness making him stronger, truly  stronger, a type of strength he would have never achieved under the shadow of his sensei, no matter the torture or deceits he would had lay to his ears.

Sweet baby kisses and unfathomable love that sounds like little steps following him around the house; a better reward than any promise of destruction, because he was made for love and compassion, despite what everyone else thinks. Despite what he himself thinks.

Yes, for Hana Shimura, Tomura will wholeheartedly be Tenko again.

[eulchu]

I came to this fandom after dsmp ended, i have only a vague idea of what the c!dnf story was, could you do a brief summary of it? if it's not too much effort, and if you happen to remember the timeline and how it parallels real life? thanks 🙂

so basically towards the begining it was c!dteam having fun, until c!tommy joined the server and started griefing and killing george repeatedly for fun (both were against the server rules) so that made c!dream really mad and he started messing with c!tommy back. c!george and c!sap joined him and a rivalry was born.

fast forward some betrayals and a war, c!dream pronounces c!george king of the server, and promises loyalty to him. it's epic and awesome fast forward some time rumors stirr that there's a riot waiting to happen to dethrone c!george. that makes c!dream paranoid and he dethrones him first, which feels like the absolute betrayal for c!george, who had been promised only good and big things. shit hits the fan shortly after and c!dream loses his mind HEAVILY whilst c!george finds a deeper alliance in the fiances.

c!dream gets locked up for being insane and c!george tries to get him out by mining the obsidian with his fists. you'd imagine he doesn't get very far. after that c!dream is in prison while c!george is off to sleep all the time to the point where he can't differenciate between awakeland and being asleep. he sees a man who looks like dream in those dreams, which turns out to be the god of the server, dreamxd. he befriends him because he reminds him of dream and also does things for him. it's unclear why xd fixates on c!george the way he does - maybe because he likes to fuck with c!dream (there's a whole story arc there). probably because his favorite kind of people were the ones who suffered awful nightmares, and c!george had a lot of those.

that situation kind of stays like that until the end of the server. c!dream stays crazy, people using c!george against him because it's the only thing that gets through him, and c!george stays sad and in dreamland, plagued by weird dreams and nightmares about c!dream betraying him and pandora.

- in terms of their story resembling real life, id say a lot of it comes from the xd narrative. dream creates that character during a george stream because everyone was in the server and his character was canonically in prison, so he creates xd to be able to play with them. most of it though, comes from george. it's george who makes his character look for c!dream everywhere without quite reaching him. it's c!george who always wakes up with a gasp before he can really turn his dream from a nightmare to something nice. it's c!george who always looks at the prison from afar and who never dares visit c!dream because "i was told you didn't want me to see you", but really, he was just scared that he couldn't take dream back with him.

there's a dream that c!george has, one of the only nice ones he ever had, where c!dream shows up on top of the prime path, and they're running towards each other, saying how much they've missed each other. and then c!george wakes up.

c!dnf (dnfxd) was a lot of dream twisting the server's narrative so that he could spend irl time with george during lore (even when they were already spending 24/7 together), and a lot of george making one of his character's traits long for c!dream to the point where he went fucking ballistic and destroyed the entire server because c!dream chose someone else over him (which, quite frankly... that's just cc!george)

[postal-ech]

So, I'm about Hour 8 into Lisa the Undone, currently on Chapter 4

I think my favorite thing about this fan game so far is the fact that your choices matter in affecting the way Buddy acts in this game, especially with the one bit I am currently hyperfixated on to hell and back

Spoilers ahead for those that have yet to play Lisa the Undone. Please for the love of God check this fan game out if you ever get the chance, it's sincerely well worth your time.

SO, Lisa the Undone, probably my highest rated Lisa fan game so far, and it's all because of one thing:

The Disco Elysium inspired monologues.

What the hell do I mean by that?

Essentially you have 3 "statuses" or states that Buddy has to balance. One involves how social Buddy is with the rest of the world, one is how violent she can be, and one is how much exploration she does in the world.

With the first one, it starts off subtly. You won't really see any difference with the social stat until you get to about the 2nd or 3rd tier, and that's when you finally get The Voices(tm)

Essentially they are what you'd get from Disco Elysium's stat monologues, they're voices in Buddy's head that comment or suggest actions here and there that kinda break the fourth wall a bit. It's very well written for a Lisa fan game and the writers here pull it off in a really engaging way, at least if you ask me.

Over time though they start to affect the choices you can make for Buddy. Go too far into the social stat and soon Buddy starts to interpret things that NPCs may be implying. They could be 100% paranoid delusion...or they could actually be foreshadowing things, implying things that YOU may know if you're a really big Lisahead but to Buddy may mean something totally different. Eventually you go so far into this stat that suddenly even corpses and inanimate objects start to have dialogue that may or may not mean something to you.

It's PEAK Disco Elysium and I love it so fucking much, I adore the idea of Buddy tapping into some supernatural type shit that may be borderline insane until you realize "wait what the fuck this is actually foreshadowing", it's not a blatant ripoff of Disco Elysium but a genuinely good inspiration taken from it, if that makes any sense.

The way you can write that stuff for Buddy and really get into her headspace with this kind of dialogue, and also make it so interesting to read that it makes you wanna push it further and further is DEFINITELY something I love about Lisa the Undone so far. All this content you can get in this fan game is entirely optional, even the three states Buddy has to balance, but God it's so well worth it seeing how the game reacts to your choices and the resulting dialogue that comes with it.

I may post more on this, cause I am hyperfixated to hell and back on this fan game, but god

I really wanna see it pop off like Lisa the Pointless, this is a gem worth playing.

That's all I got for now with this blog post, but I'll leave one more but of dialogue that I've enjoyed, the peak so far:

DISCO

NEVER

DIES

[the-therapist-is-ace]

Do you have any theories on Kokichi? Like his psych stuff and how he gets on with others (like Gonta)

Hello hello, thank you for the ask x)

I admit I didn't even remembered where he said to be psychic at first lmao.

But personally I think it was a lie. He's just really, really good at reading people and analyzing behaviors.

And how he gets along with the others... Yikes do you have the time? xD

I think I'll just talk about Kaede, Kaito and Gonta here. Though maybe I'll do Maki and Shuichi on another post.

(Reminder that all of this is MY interpretation of things... Also I'm rambling a lot. I might get off topic lmao)

First, Kaede!

I think he have a split opinion on her. On one hand, he knows how badly she wants to help, and he can appreciate and encourage that.

But on the other, OH MY GOD she's a bad leader.

She's an amazing motivator, don't get me wrong. But actually leading, it's not her talent and for a good reason. A leader is not only someone that encourage people. It's SO MUCH MORE than that.

She doesn't know how to make people acknowledge the tensions in the group (see: the aftermath of the Death Road of Despair, it was Kokichi who forced everyone to talk about it.) She doesn't know when to stop, which ends with her encouragements turning into forcing people to continue even when they're all exhausted. She doesn't know how to step up to end a conflict between the group (again, see the direct aftermath of the Death Road of Despair...)

And I think as a result, Kokichi is both understanding of her wish to help, but also extremely frustrated with her poor attempts at leading. I think he would bash his head against a wall if she survived more than one trial lmao.

Second Kaito. Oh my god.

I think out of everyone, he's the one that gets on Kokichi's nerves the most. (And a lot of people would agree with me on it I think)

He's the one talking about trust. IN A KILLING GAME.

(Just to be clear I don't think Kokichi is paranoid. He's just reasonably doubtful of people in a life or death situation. Trust is very dangerous in that setting.)

Also, the whole sidekicks/hero thing. I get wanting to help Shuichi by taking responsability of what he'll say in the trials, but there's other way to do that. (Say, isn't that also a leader's responsability to encourage the group?)

And don't get me started with the whole deal with Maki. If anything, I think that's one of the thing that drives Oma crazy the most.

Trying to make Maki understand she's more than an assassin? Good idea! -Even though monitoring her movements would have been ideal- Insisting that she's harmless and a good person to everyone in the meantime? No! You don't know her that well yet, and trusting blindly a professional killer is stupid.

But the worst thing -in Kokichi's opinion- is probably Kaito's impulsivity.

Trying to go against the Exisal the morning when the First Blood Perk is introduce? Stupid, and dangerous! Trying to convince everyone to riot against Monokuma at Kaede's trial? That's endangering everyone!

Trying to gather everyone to fight Monokuma and end the game? DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?!

Kaito's insistence to trust everyone and his impulsivity is a threat to the group in Kokichi's eyes, and I can't blame him for it. Him calling himself a hero is just the annoying cherry on top of it all.

And last but not least, Gonta.

Aaaah Gonta. The translation did you and Kokichi SO dirty.

First and foremost: GONTA IS NOT FUCKING STUPID!

He's naive, yes. Innocent too, absolutely. But he's NOT stupid!

He's a scientist for fuck's sake, it means something. He is not stupid.

And as someone that is both intelligent and also... well kind of naive, Kokichi saw him as a potential ally. Hence why he turned to him for both the Insect Meet and Greet plan, and the Killing Game Busters plans.

Oma is also one of -if not the only one- that sees Gonta as more than just "nice giant". He see him as someone with a brain, but also too much naivete, which in a killing game is not good. So that might be why he took him under his wing so to speak. Gokuhara is also the only one that tried to see more than just Oma's first layer if I remember correctly.

And we're gonna talk about Chapter 4! Wou-ouh let's go.

Gonta was desesperate to end the game. And Oma knew it. Gonta was ALREADY considering doing something drastic to end the game. And Kokichi took advantage of that.

(Now that was probably not done happily. Remember that he was probably still shaken up by the "truth" of the outside world.)

...Or did he?

Oma told -and showed- to Gokuhara what he saw. What he believed himself was true. And the fact that it was false didn't change the fact that they BOTH got manipulated with false informations.

I do truly believe that those two were good friends. Chapter 4 was the tragedy that ended it, but it doesn't mean the friendship wasn't there.

So... Yeah.

TL;DR: I think he appreciated Kaede's wishes to help, but was really exasperated of how bad at leading she was. I think Kaito's behavior irked him -like 90% of the fans lmao- because of how dangerous he saw it to be. And I think he saw Gonta as a friend, and CLEVER enough to make plans with him.

Thank you for asking!

[phoomwhoosh]

Okay, this is basically just me sharing most of my thoughts about Terry and Daniel in season 5 and it’s a long one so I’ll put it under a cut.

I cannot get over Terry ambushing Daniel in Raymond’s apartment. The very second Daniel told Chozen that he “had to apologize to Raymond,” I knew something awful was about to happen to him because it directly mirrored what he told Mr. Miyagi before the ambush in the third movie.

But, before I go into that, I want to talk more about Terry and Daniel up to that point. Like, I really loved the way Terry “gave” Daniel chances to back-out of things even though he definitely knew Daniel wouldn’t take them.

Terry appearing in the sauna while Daniel was in there? I called that when I saw that scene in the trailer months ago and it DELIVERED so well. Absolutely terrifying moment for Daniel and his face in that scene was so devastating. Like, Terry really chose Daniel’s most vulnerable moment: totally not expecting him and finally starting to relax a hair. (Also, most likely nude. Just saying.)

Him goading Daniel at the charity event and making him embarrass himself and Amanda? Terry making Daniel seem like the crazy one, like he was the real bad guy? Terry kept poking at Daniel over and over again and anyone who saw never would’ve guessed at what was happening because Terry was smiling the entire time. Hell, he even seemed like he was making a nice little joke about the bonsai trees even as he was talking about how he was going to turn them into mulch. (Legit, the man HAS to grin after every time he’s successfully fucked with Daniel.) He really set-up Daniel, especially by introducing him as an “old friend.” The fuckin’ audacity of that man! Jesus Christ, Daniel’s reaction to that and Amanda immediately comforting him even though she had no idea what was really happening...

Terry definitely knew that Daniel didn’t tell Amanda about him beyond surface-level stuff and I have to wonder how he feels about that.

I totally understand why Amanda didn’t believe Daniel and thought he was just bringing-up another old rivalry for no reason. We have to remember that Daniel has very obviously never told her exactly what Terry Silver did to him. After Jessica tells her everything, I think she understood WHY Daniel didn’t tell her. That and, from her perspective, it just looked like Daniel was being paranoid for no reason, especially with how kindly Terry greets them at the charity event and with how Terry actually told that one lady what a great person Amanda was. You can see Amanda’s delight in the background as Terry goads Daniel into shoving him. He let Daniel dig his own grave so he could put him into it. (Do not judge me for any shallow grave references in any of my future fics. XD)

Also, just saying, do you think Daniel suspected that Terry was stalking him? Because he was 100% doing that. Really glad they didn’t show it actually happening (like scenes of Terry skulking around before approaching Daniel). The implication of the stalking is so much scarier and really leaves you wondering when Terry would appear behind Daniel or into a scene with him.

Of course, if Daniel suspected it, he couldn’t say anything because he had no proof and Amanda already wasn’t listening to him about how dangerous Terry was. Telling her about the sauna thing or about encountering him in the country club wouldn’t have worked. Like, she probably wouldn’t have believed the sauna bit because what the fuck and she might’ve been like, “Daniel, he’s super rich, why wouldn’t he be at the country club? Also, didn’t he buy you drinks?” Like, Terry made Daniel look like he was crazy to everyone around them and I just CANNOT.

Now, to the ambush in the apartment. GOD, the sound I made when Terry appeared behind him. How quickly Daniel turned around to face him and the fearful look he gives, the way he jerks back slightly at the sight of him. The other sound I made when Terry side-stepped into his path when Daniel tried to leave. Him forcing Daniel into a fight once again…

I have rewatched that fight scene at least a dozen times over and let me tell you: it truly amazes me how much Terry actually held-back and, yes, I do believe that was him holding back. He could have very, very easily broken Daniel’s arm instead of dislocating his shoulder. He could’ve gone for Daniel’s left knee and fucked it up real good. But instead he let Daniel come at him, even let Daniel get some hits in although some of those were definitely unavoidable. He was ENTHRALLED by their fight. The sound I made when he stepped on Daniel (dear god, that bit). He only held-back enough to not totally maim or kill Daniel and that was an entirely calculated move on his part.

Like, him stepping on Daniel while saying, “Don’t look at this as an act of mercy. On the contrary, I want you alive and well for what’s about to happen. Well, alive, at least. Because the real pain is about to begin.” That call-back to the third movie!!!!! Him just leaving Daniel lying there!!!! I wish we could’ve seen how Daniel got out of there. I read somewhere that one of the writers said Chozen found him but that the episode was already long. Honestly, time dedicated to certain other things could’ve been taken away so we could’ve seen Chozen find him.

Also loved this line: “You opened the door and let me just waltz right in.” The gleeful way in which he said it…just, WOW. All of his lines during that scene were glorious.

But here’s my other thing, here’s my thing about that fight scene. Daniel striking first and Terry saying, “That’s it, LaRusso! That’s the Cobra Kai student I remember!” And then, after he locked Daniel’s arms down, him saying, “But you never really had the strength, did you?” And then that BRUTAL headbutt?! Like, Terry showed Daniel just how weak he really was and how much stronger he was than him. Daniel wouldn’t have been able to free his arms if Terry hadn’t headbutted him. He could’ve kept Daniel like that, could’ve waited to see if Daniel would break free eventually but I think he wanted to see what else Daniel had in him before he ended the fight. I feel like the fight lasted as long as it did because Terry wanted it to.

“I was ready to let this go and you just kept getting in my way!” And then the face grab, the FACE GRAB, HIS WHOLE HAND WENT OVER DANIEL’S FACE and the SOUND Daniel made when that happened! Then he just THREW Daniel like he was nothing! “You bit-off more than you could chew and, now that the writing’s on the wall, you wanna surrender?! No, no, no, we are way past the time for white flags, Danny boy.” The WAY he says that! Side note: so glad Daniel got thrown a few times this season AND got to say “fuck” more than once.

Terry making Daniel punch the wall pillar thing. The quote echoing “What’re you gonna do about it?” was absolutely haunting. That question from the past seeming to both disturb and rally Daniel? His clearly mixed feelings that distracted him enough for Terry to totally take him down?! THE KICK TO THE HEAD? Like, Terry looked so damned PLEASED to see the warring emotions on Daniel’s face as the looked at his bloodied fists.

Can I just say? Daniel being so SMALL compared to Terry. Not just in, like, height but also just the fact that Terry can put his entire hand over his face. Terry can hold him down with one giant foot so easily. Terry could’ve done so much more damage, so much worse. And Daniel having to live with that knowledge? Like, I totally get why he was ready to give-up the fight. I get it. I understand. He was terrified. He was alone and made to feel so small and weak and then he gets knocked out?! Do you think he thought he’d wake up with someone who cares about him nearby? Do you think he thought he might wake up and see Terry still standing over him? Do you think he DID wake up and think that at first until he got a good look at who was really there?

The other thing is, while Terry literally gave him no other choice but to fight or “stand there and get his ass kicked,” Daniel might still feel some amount of guilt for striking first and going against what he was taught, especially after that barb: “That’s the Cobra Kai student I remember!” Like, Daniel has spent most of this show torn between fully and totally honoring Mr. Miyagi’s teachings and suppressing the part of himself that enjoyed Terry’s training methods. (Because he DID enjoy himself, especially after he broke through the wooden dummy. Gestures to this post I made ages ago about his training with Terry.)

In being so understandably hellbent on honoring Miyagi’s karate, he forgot what Mr. Miyagi said about finding his OWN karate. But then losing Mr. Miyagi clearly fucked him up real bad. It put him off-balance and he clearly never talked to anyone about it. (He almost certainly talked to Amanda but that doesn’t make the grief go away completely.)

I mean, Mr. Miyagi protected him for all of that time. He felt safe with him, especially after watching him kick Terry and Kreese’s asses without taking a single hit. To lose that protection? To lose the one person who fully understood what he went through? God, it hurts to think about.

Anyway, my point is, Daniel’s own style of karate closely mimicked Mr. Miyagi’s for so long that he forgot about finding his own style and was never really told, “It’s okay if some of what you learned from Terry stuck with you.” So, he’d certainly feel some amount of guilt after his first initial fight with Terry. Also, he was clearly terrified both during and after that fight because he felt so alone and knew it was true. It’s why he was so willing to throw in the towel and fully give-up. Forget not losing to fear, he might as well let it win. However, once he was shown that he wasn’t alone, he was able to push past his fear. And watching him beat Terry in the finale? That was the most glorious thing ever. Yes, yes, violence was heavy in this season but honestly? Daniel deserved to get to beat Terry, especially while using things he learned from Mr. Miyagi, Chozen, AND Johnny. Also, using “that crane crap” to completely take Terry out. I mean, he certainly ate those fuckin’ words, eh?

[thestalwartheart]

Omg, those physical intimacy prompts are all so so good!! How am I supposed to choose one for you to write *insert actual display pic*

So imma be greedy and ask for 1) nose bops and 2) hugs that last longer than they should xD

Thankies and Happy Fest :D

Hello!

Here's your prompt fill for 'hugs that last longer than they should.' I tried to fit nose boops in here, but it seemed Too Much, and I also have a different idea for it.

Posted under the cut and on AO3. You might prefer reading it there as it's quite long (1326 words - I couldn't help myself).

Anyway, here it is! Enjoy 💖

put your arms around me (i'm shitfaced).

“Oh, I’m absolutely trolleyed,” groans Q, holding his head as he approaches his front door. Maybe if he keeps it steady enough, his brain with all its stupid thoughts will stay in his head, and he won’t say anything embarrassing.

Why did Bond have to be the one to get him home? As if the ramifications of drinking tequila with Moneypenny weren’t going to be torturous enough. He’s over thirty. His hangovers last two days. In fact, realistically, this one’s likely to last three. Doesn’t that seem like enough punishment without throwing James bloody Bond into the mix?

“I’d noticed,” says Bond conspiratorially.

He’s got his arm around Q’s waist now. It’s the size of a fucking tree branch. Ridiculous. How did they even get like that? He’s never once seen Bond use the gym, and surely it takes, what? About six hours a day lifting weights and doing that thing where you make the ropes move until they’re all squiggly—

“Battle ropes,” answers Bond, moving Q through the door like he weighs nothing. “Would you believe me if I said the job is exercise enough?”

“Absolutely not, don’t bullshit — oh, shit. Oh, shit, shit, shit. Did I say all that out loud?”

“Some of it. Did you not mean to?” Bond asks, looking far too amused. Q would be annoyed at it, but he really has got a very nice smile. The smile gets wider as soon as Q thinks it, and, oh, he’s going to stop thinking now, lest he say anything else that’ll have him handing in his resignation on Monday.

“Christ,” Bond laughs, “that last mission would have gone a lot easier if the target was this much of a lightweight.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Bond snorts. He deposits Q on the couch and disappears to the kitchen. “Not so witty when you’re blasted, are you?”

“You try being witty after six tequila shots.”

“Three at the most, surely,” Bond teases, handing Q a glass of water. “Though, to be fair, you were probably seeing double by then.”

Q gulps half the water in one go.

“You got there late, too,” he says around a silent hiccup. “You didn’t see the amount of drink Eve foisted on me before the shots.”

“Poured it down your throat, did she? Gave you absolutely no chance to refuse them?”

Q flaps out an annoyed hand in Bond’s direction. God, he hates when people make sensible arguments when he’s drunk. He hates it even more when they’ve got a stupid little smirk and sparkly blue eyes and a very nice shirt that’s got not one but two top buttons undone—

“Where’s your bedroom?”

“Um, what?”

Bond rolls his eyes. “I want to make sure you don’t give yourself a concussion trying to get to bed.”

“Oh,” Q’s face is aflame. He hopes the alcohol making up half his bloodstream is a good enough excuse for it. “Upstairs.”

“All right. Finish your water, and I’ll help you up.”

“I don’t need help—” Q stumbles as he gets up from the couch. One of his traitorous little cats is right at his feet. "Oh, you twat!"

“Clearly. Come on.” Bond’s arm is back on Q’s waist as he guides him towards the staircase.

“I didn't mean that Marvin. You're not a twat, you're a darling.”

“Of course your cat’s named Marvin.”

“It’s ‘cause he’s paranoid,” mumbles Q, distracted by trying to make his feet work on the stairs.

Goodness, he really should give his cats more credit. They do this with four legs every day, bounding up and down like it’s nothing when it’s clearly extremely difficult. And toddlers! How on earth do they manage with their ungainly, chubby little legs? Oh, he really must call in and see the old 004 sometime. He can’t believe she’s got a baby now. Every agent should be able to retire and have babies. Or not, if that’s not what they want. Babies or fur babies, or furless babies. Whatever, they should all be able to retire and drink a million shots of tequila with Moneypenny and die because that’s what’s going to happen to Q if these stairs don’t ever come to a fucking end.

“God, you’re nothing but dead weight,” grunts Bond as they topple over the last. Q apologises, straightening up. The last of the journey to the bedroom is uneventful, and Bond looks around approvingly at Q’s decor before trying to manoeuvre him into his bed. They are right at the edge of it when Q feels an overwhelming urge to do something stupid.

“Wait, Bond.”

“What?” Bond’s still got his hand at Q’s waist.

Q shouldn’t, but Bond’s been so lovely and patient, and Q knows he won’t blab to anyone about this, except maybe Moneypenny, but he’ll likely be blabbing to her himself, so...

Q hugs him.

Bond’s arms settle around his back, warm and heavy. They squeeze with just the right amount of tightness to make Q sigh. Naturally, Bond is an excellent hugger. It’s unfair. People as good-looking and intelligent as him should at least have the decency to be bad at something. But no, he feels delightful pressed up against Q. And it's been a while since Q’s had a hug like this — a full-body affair that makes you want to weep with the comfort of it.

One of Bond’s hands plays with the curls at the nape of Q’s neck, and at some point, Q thinks — though he might already be dreaming — he feels Bond press a light kiss to the side of his neck.

He lost all sense of time about hours ago, so he can’t say how long they stay like that. All he knows is that he doesn’t want it to end, which is foolish. So foolish, because all things end, especially when James Bond is involved.

“Q,” Bond’s soft, deep voice in his ear brings him back to alertness.

“Hm? Sorry.”

“Don’t be. But I think you’re falling asleep.”

“Am I? Ah. That’s embarrassing.”

“More for me, I’d say.” He manhandles Q into bed with a soft smile. “I’ll do a better job of keeping you awake next time.”

“Presumptuous,” says Q. Or he thinks he says it. It’s probably little more than a useless set of consonants.

Bond laughs, pulling the blanket over him and patting Q’s hip like it’s all a job well done. “Goodnight, Q.”

“‘Night, James.”

In the morning, he wakes with more pressure in his head than the Marianas Trench. Of course, there’s also the embarrassment stinging at him like a physical thing. It’s too monumental to deal with, so he spends ten minutes cringing under his pillow before finally convincing himself to sit up. When he does, he finds a bottle of water on his bedside table, accompanied by a brand new packet of ibuprofen and a note with absolutely terrible handwriting. With his headache pounding at his brow, it takes Q whole, seemingly endless, minutes to decipher it.

Nipped out to get breakfast. Bringing back a full English, so I hope you’re not vegan. J.

Q laughs. It makes his whole brain hurt, but he doesn’t give a shit; he laughs until he snorts. Relieved beyond belief, he downs some ibuprofen and guzzles the entire bottle of water before he goes to have a shower. The water doesn’t even make a dent in his dehydration levels, which feels like the cruellest hit this morning has dealt him. Still, he feels he can deal better with it now that the crippling mortification has lessened a bit.

In truth, none of his usual hangover cures work quite so well as the knowledge that Bond is likely downstairs flipping bacon and sausages in Q’s tiny, cluttered kitchen. It’s an image Q can’t wait to see in reality, and he speeds through his shower to ensure he doesn’t miss it.

He wonders if he’ll get another hug. Maybe. Hopefully.

Last night’s didn’t feel long enough.

[duck-in-a-thrift-store]

Alright guys here's the first room closeup (+ headcanons/notes), by popular demand:

~Mike & Will's room~

(Plz don't judge my choice of wall art I pretty much just picked it bc it matched the wallpaper colors and there weren't a lot of good options)

Ok so design details

I know yall see that blue and yellow, and the green in the middle. All very intentional. The bed w/ the yellow blanket is Will's & the one w/ the blue blanket is Mike's. They sit on the rug when they're having their little heart-to-hearts that the rest of the party never seem to be a part of for "some reason"

Also, these boys wear a lot of fuckin stripes, so. Blue and yellow striped wallpaper? Green striped rug? Idk man it was screaming byler what can I say

And then there's a record player or whatever on the dresser between them, bc as we all know Will is a music guy and Mike lets Will do whatever he wants even if that means keeping him up listening to his favorite song all night bc he'd never forgive himself if Vecna somehow got Will bc Mike made him turn it off*

*So, to explain what that's all about: after his repeated failed attempts with Max, One went after Will next bc y'know, lots of trauma, easy target, etc (at least that's what the mf thought, I'm pretty sure Will lowkey has powers or smthn)

(This happened before the start of the au btw so it's just sort of background info, it might be mentioned but it won't be happening in present)

But anyway Will almost got Vecna'd and it was partially Mike's fault bc they got in a fight, Mike said smthn stupid and Will ran off, we know the drill (Mike still blames himself for it even tho they made up & Will forgave him and is fine)

Mike kinda lost his shit, honestly I'm thinking in his terror he pushed El too hard to save Will (when she was already doing her best obviously bc that's her brother) and that was part of why they broke up bc even El realized he cared more about Will than her- Mike is pretty much the only one who doesn't know yet lol

And they all survived obviously but now they're both kinda extra paranoid about it and even though they've moved far away and One hasn't followed them they still worry that some day he might track them down, so they fall into a (compulsive) habit of playing Will's favorite songs on repeat

(I'm not giving you his fav songs bc first of all I can't even decide my own fav song and also it just feels really presumptuous like that's too personal of a thing for me to decide for somebody else. I take music very seriously & very personally ok. Funnily enough tho I am listening to "should I stay or should I go" at this very moment)

Anywho, moving along

That desk by the door is mostly used for coming up with new campaigns they don't want the others to spoil (it's ok for their roommate to have insider knowledge that's not an unfair advantage or anything and besides it just can't be helped y'know? /s) no but they do collaborate sometimes and they work so well together as storytellers that the others find it lowkey unsettling (Dustin and Lucas are used to it tho)

>tw: vaguely suicidal themes?

Someone, not thinking I guess, makes an offhand joke about them being on the ground floor so they don't have to worry about Mike jumping out the window, and Will, who somehow hadn't ever actually heard the whole "quarry story," asks what that's supposed to mean and then they very awkwardly have to explain and he's basically like "oh my god what the hell that's not fucking funny why would you joke about that" and for a while after learning about it he's extra conscious of any self-deprecating/self-sacrificing type shit Mike says

Also they have "crazy together" written somewhere in the room no one else will see it. It's uncertain where, or whose idea it was, or why they did it, but they did. Probably to sort of make the room feel more like it was claimed as *theirs* after having to move to a new house far away from familiarity, and as a reminder to always be there for each other when times are tough