#FLAWED IN DIFFERENT WAYS BUT FLAWED NEVERTHELESS

[haunted-xander]

BBS is a tragedy in many ways, but one of the things that gets me is that the catalyst, the one big thing that caused this mess to begin with, is so avoidable.

Like, the story starts primarily because Terra starts to fear himself (because of the darkness he has unwittingly 'used') and this causes a spiral of doubt and obsession. A spiral which he could've escaped from or maybe not even started if he just 1) had been taught the balance between light and dark properly (that darkness is more than just unquestionable evil, that light is more than unquestionable good, that they can and should co-exist in balance), and 2) had consistent socialization from more than the same 3 people.

Like. BBS is a cautionary tale about what happens when people aren't exposed to a wide enough variety of people and, therefore, end up naive and overly trusting because they never learned that people have ulterior motives. Terra is consistently manipulated and used by people literally everywhere he goes, because he can't see that they might not have the best intentions! He can't see the red flags because he doesn't know there are red flags to look for!

Xehanort knows this. It's why he targeted Terra to begin with: because he would be susceptable to his words. The main reason he couldn't use Aqua is because she was too confident in her own values, she didn't have the seed of doubt that Terra had. It's the only thing that prevents her from being used the same way he is, even though she is just as naive and trusting as he is.

Ven probably has it the worst socialization wise. Unlike Terra and Aqua who, presumably, has/had a family and life outside of the Land of Departure prior to beginning training there, Ven doesn't remember anything before then (not that he had much he'd be happy to remember anyway). And since he's the youngest and most 'fragile' one (due to being in recovery for most of his time here), he gets somewhat coddled and shielded by everyone else. Not to mention the way Eraqus completely forbid him from leaving and never intented for him to ever see worlds outside the Land of Departure. Sure, Terra and Aqua aren't typically supposed to leave either, but at least they'd be allowed in certain situations. Ven wouldn't.

Ven isn't allowed to interact with anyone outside of home. He's not allowed anything that involves the outer worlds. (He and Naminé are a bit alike in that sense. Though at least the people he's stuck with are nice to Ven and do genuinely care for him, unlike Naminé...)

BBS happens largely because Eraqus failed as both a teacher and a parental figure to all of them, but Terra most of all.

[yourplasticlittlespastic]

E̴N̴T̴W̴I̴N̴E̴D̴ - Series

Part 2

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x f/reader

Warnings: Pure Fluff! Raw +18 warnings will come later in other chapters

Notes: That's right, I plan to make it a series. Not too short, not too long but enough! Benedict has stolen my days and nights and I've been daydreaming too much ngl.

WC: 3.5K

Humidity has reached its peak.

You cursed quite low as the sweat forming on your lower back created a wave of uncomfortableness and nevertheless, you were putting yet another layer of fabric. Madame Delacroix called it freshening and here you are, the third hour of trying out the fabrics of the newly imported cloth.

"Better than whalebone, is it not mon cherie?"

You looked at Madame Delacroix with the sense of cursing her too but you smiled rather sweetly "Steel you said? It is... better" You felt the structure of the corset, still very fitting and nothing different from the previous ones except for the metal strips on the side.

"Bien, we shall get it" The seamstress nodded and started working immediately and as you stood there; presence made statue and breath made a mere flow you saw people passing, your mother with her pupils dilated as the colours of fabric captured her you wondered if perhaps things could go more easily this season.

A sudden wave of hope filled you at the thought of not having Daphne around, not to confuse it with hate, you love the Bridgertons but the eldest sister made quite a chaos last time that unfortunately even if some pair of eyes landed on you, Daphne and the Duke took most for themselves.

When you returned to your house, adorned with the marble that was polished every morning of every day, you lay on your bed tired of doing absolutely nothing. Looking pretty in a burgundy dress is not a task that burns brain cells.

“Mama” you said with your head facing the ceiling and your legs swinging.

The woman who you were looking for entered the room, holding a cup of tea in her hands and a smile on her face, one that was painted so naturally, one that she passed to you.

“Yes, my dear?”

“May I go to the Bridgertons?”

“Now?” Your mother saw the agony on your face “I want you back before sunset”

“You must not worry” Your heels clicked on the ground as you got up, a smile on your face and the feeling of going to a friend's house instead of spending the day in your chambers “Finally, finally” you whispered clumsily going outside your grandiose mansion and breathing the powdery vs. Pollen of London’s air.

It was a three-minute stroll as you turned the block towards the Bridgertons; ultimately you saw the gates open and the carriage that was waiting outside.

The sun was shining as you looked upwards, the sky a shade of blue that reminded you of the ocean, the one that your father brought you to a couple of summers ago.

You knocked twice and waited for someone to open, a maid appeared and bowed.

“Miss Ashbourne”

“Morning Rose, may I?”

“Please, the ladies are-“

“In the drawing-room, I assume, as always”

“Miss Penelope is there as well"

"The more, the better. Thank you, Rose" With pose you took your dress and tried to walk inside the beautiful almost similar entree of the house but-

"Anthony?!"

You smiled at the voice and before stepping into the staircase you turned around and made your way to the other room; the one that always smelled like oils and wood.

“I believe your sight might be flawed… that or you quite meant I look like Anthony”

Benedict’s eyes lift from the painting, a smile spreading on his lips and you did the same.

“In spirit perhaps” he curved his lips “Forgive me Miss Ashbourne, the angle from this side is not ideal to see who walks around”

“Hmmm that’s alright,” you said stepping into the middle of the room, the tiles stained with long-forgotten strokes “How are you?”

“Not bad at all and you?”

“I could be better, a boring day it is but I meant if you were fine after art school and…” you stopped to see if you were not being impertinent but he seemed to put his wooden palette down and pierced his ears “I mean…”

“That’s kind of you to ask, Y/N” he shrugs “I’m dealing with it well, I’m content with what I’m doing right now and what happened there it was to be enjoyed”

“That’s good,” you said ready to leave the room “Well I shall leave you with your…” your eyes caught the painting, a room adorned with frames and curtains “Beautiful painting”

"Thank you, I'm still polishing it but thank you" He eyes you oh so slowly as he squinted his eyes “Would you like to stay for a while?”

“Oh”

“Come on, I’ve always enjoyed sharing words with you”

"Well..." You said unsure, you didn't want to leave him so fast after the kind words and the invitation, it was rude of you "I would like to"

"Good, you can sit right there" He pointed to the chair and you did what you were told, watching how Benedict moved the easel and the chair behind, you heard a bit of noise as the stool and his tools were put in a table, he sat down and looked at you

"Tell me, I know you’re a debutante this season”

You snorted that the sound made Benedict laugh in return “My days have been filled with the preparations for this season and my mama is driving me crazy because apparently, I don't know how to sit and breathe"

"What?"

“I move my chest too quickly that it looks like I’m always on the verge of an attack, that’s what she says. I never thought controlling my breathing would be a concern in my life but here we are”

How eyes had a mind of their own because they landed very briefly on the straight neckline of your dress and the mounds of your chest and he snapped only to say "She cares about you"

"I know" You shrugged “is just so… boring”

“What? Do you want some drama? Perhaps lady Whistledown-“

“Not the drama inked words can bring” you confessed “I do not know what I want from this season. Last one I was still an espectator and yet the chaos was too much to bear. This time… should I prefer quietness and routine? Or perhaps-“

“A scandal,” he said with a glint in his eyes “I would go for the latter but I'm not you"

"You think it's the right thing to do?"

"No, but I have a reputation to live up to" He smiles and you cannot help but laugh as his shoulders move in amusement "So I am the one to talk, aren't I?”

“Quite indeed you are, Benedict,” you said

“So” he smiled “can you spare some time so I can tell you how I achieved the perspective here?”

“I can spare a day or two”

“That’s real talking”

Benedict has always been keen on you. Your spirit reminded him of Anthony; how sharp and stubborn and your way of talking reminded him of Eloise; how straightforward and full of wit. Every time you found each other alone the conversation flowed like a river; the topics varied and he liked to be surprised, and you liked to surprise in return.

Today he was trying to explain to you how he was working on the perspective and the shading; you didn't understand half the things that were coming out of his mouth and yet you kept your attention on him, it was hard to do so as you saw how he moved his hand to demonstrate or the way he tilted his head with fervour.

It took a gentle few minutes for you to get into the atmosphere you always find with Benedict. The straight posture left your body as you moved your hands from your lap and made your way next to the canvas. Your nose could smell the painting and fresh oil splash on a jar. For all you know, Benedict Bridgerton, the tallest and silliest brother, had a way to make you feel yourself. Indeed with one and twenty years on this earth, you would say you have the closest for at least a solid seven with him: a good friend with good values and good lips, the former an observation you have assembled for the past two years.

“But who says that in the same painting orange and purple must avoid each other?” you asked staring at his fingers and the way he pointed at the canvas "hmmm?"

“You see, my professor said that the tones do not match and rather make the art cheap” he explained

"so" you laughed "if by any chance I decide to follow Lady Featherington's fashion trend and mix orange and purple in my wardrobe... I'll be considered cheap by your professor?"

He smiled looking down and hastily removed the curl from your side and allowed it to frame your face better "He would be mad to even think such a thing but please stay with your beautiful gowns, it makes your skin glow"

You stayed there feeling the pulsation at the back of your neck and the sudden urge to remain silent, the feeling of a blush forming and you were aware.

"Thank you" you whispered and moved away to see the painting closer, your hands behind your back.

"You're welcome" He smiled, not taking his eyes off of you and he saw how you were trying to avoid his stare.

Change the subject. You told yourself.

“Haven’t the styles changed over the years?" you asked out loud and trying very well to follow what your head was ordering "If orange and purple even join each other in the future I would be quite mad that it was not you who decided to pursue such an art transgression”

Benedict felt the most boyish with that compliment that he looked down and snorted all genuinely.

“We will see, I have several canvases ready to be corrupted and you. I mean you?” He smiled “How are your activities?”

Your smile grew large “Let me tell you about this book I’ve been reading, it has six volumes”

“I’m all ears, Miss Ashbourne”

That day apart from receiving multiple comments and opinions from Benedict about the biology books you stole from your father's library, you also received a scold from your mother alas you didn’t return when you were supposed to and you said you were encapsulated with the girls and the tea that tracking time was not good. Lost indeed between the smell of oil paintings and unfinished canvases.

And when debuting finally happened, oh so gracefully in front of the Queen. You smiled when it was over, the simple nod of Queen Charlotte alleviated any woes within your mother. You, Y/N Ashbourne a debutante with an ambitious mama by her side. The season was ready to begin.

A week was when you swore you could not feel your cheeks anymore. You have succeeded and had five suitors calling on you every day. The conversations were just a tad dry like the biscuits served by the Cowpers.

“Tighter”

Your squeal resonates only within you as your ladies tightened the corset and followed, as always, your mama’s orders.

“Tighter”

“Perhaps this is good, I feel like I might…”

“You are good my dear, tighter” your mother nodded

And the last squeal escaped your lips as you saw in the three mirror dresser how up your breasts appeared. After getting ready, with the greatest olive green beaded dress Madame Delacroix could design, you made your way to Lady Danbury’s Ball.

It was a night as expected. Your first dance was with a Viscount. He was old, not very handsome and didn't talk to you, you only nodded. The second was an Earl, you were thankful it was a waltz because it seemed that he was not keen on anything else than moving back and forth. The third much to your dismay and much to other girls’ amusement the Marquis of Ashdown stepped on your poor toes until you were destroyed not by dancing but by being in front of him.

“Quite young is he not?” Eloise said with a macabre smile

“Shush it, El. I am mostly embarrassed, he belongs in a nursery”

“And yet he is wife-hunting” she snickered “Nonetheless I must admit that if you two marry then you’ll downgrade from Ashbourne to Ashdown”

“Incredibly funny you are Eloise Bridgerton”

The night went as expected, everything as expected and nothing to be surprised about.

“Goodbye!” Eloise almost yelled that even you blinked in surprise and her quick getaway made you sense a male figure was coming your way so you turned and saw Lord Coxingworth, with his light blonde hair brushed backwards he requested a dance and finally your toes relaxed as well as your dancing skill made is debut; with such a dancer such as Lord Coxingworth.

“I may say that this has been a refreshing way to end my night” he smiled

“You are leaving?”

“I’m afraid so, Miss Ashbourne. My mother is not feeling fine”

“Oh my, then you ought to leave immediately. Give her my regards and please send me a letter once you reach home. I pray she recovers fastly and hopefully, your journey home won't take too long"

"I shall" He bowed and you smiled. “And I shall see you once this matter is settled. I shall pay a visit next week, Miss Ashbourne. You look gorgeous tonight"

You thanked him and watched how he disappeared into the crowd. It was the last dance of the night and yet your feet did not hurt as much after the success and your mother approved with a single nod.

You made your way to the back of the ballroom where Eloise was waiting with Penelope. Minutes later to what it seemed between giggles and quick banter, you saw a shadow passing and it stood quite tall beside Eloise. Benedict.

“Ah sister; mother is looking for you; something about at least being seeing for five minutes beside a man”

“I must leave too, my mother is…” Penelope distractedly said “She is… bye”

You turned to see Benedict with his pristine and flattened down dressing robe “They left me in bed company”

He acted hurt “ow how sorry I am, they left me with a good-looking girl” he shrugged “It’s a matter of perspective” he stared at the green dress “You look quite beautiful. How was the night, is it true you danced with the Marquis of Ashdown?”

“I fought a war with his feet, that was not a dance”

“Let the poor kid be, you are a fine dancer, better than anyone I know. So? He is going to pursue you?

You smiled “Only if his governess allows him”

He snorted and made a burning sound “Good girl” he sigh “What about Lord Coxingworth?”

“Oh… I think it went better than Ashdown”

“Hmmm”

“He said he ought to see me next week”

“Did he?” He sniffed “I think then you have a suitor then”

“Far from it,” you said and looked around “Before the end of this night I must go into Lady Danbury’s library”

“Are you…” he smirked, “Sneaking and stealing yet another book?”

“She once said I could take advantage of her collection”

“yes, only if you are inside the house” he debated with a laugh

“And I am not?”

“But you will not. You’ll get the book and leave the house with it”

“And…” you stood quickly on your tips “if no one sees anything… no one has to know”

He smiled and shook his head but formed an O with his mouth when he saw how swiftly you moved away from your spot. The beads on your dress shifted with you, the curls on your back bounced at the pace and he, the only accomplice in such a furtive task, joined you.

“Perhaps it is better to go back, they might be expecting us”

“Oh nonsense,” you said with the thirst for that book you knew Lady Danbury had, your hand turned the knob and your eyes sparked at the dark of the room that held the shadows of all the books “Eureka”

Benedict stood behind you, a small smile on his face as you searched for the book.

His eyes, like a thief, looked at your curves, the ones the dress did not hide and tried but also sneakily -in the theme of the night- to capture a glance of your oh-so-fast-moving chest your mother thinks you have.

“What is the book?” he asked

“A collection of poetry, not known, written by I believe anonymous people”

“Huh, controversial. Have you read other compilations?"

“Not now but if this one is good, I will try to get a hold of more… unusual editions. This one has the most beautiful cover and I can't help to imagine what it's about"

"I see" he whispered, his voice a bit deeper as his eyes landed on your face

"Do you have a problem?" You turned around to see his eyes were not on the shelves

"No, no, not at all. Let us do something. Open the book on any page and read it out loud. Let us judge it, not by the cover but by one page and one page at all”

You smiled widely at the idea and nodded, you moved around to be in front of him, your left shoulder leaning against a bookshelf allowing yourself to feel more relaxed.

“Alright then…” you cleared your throat and questioned where you could split the book, the beginning, the middle or the end. As your long fingers traced the last page, you told yourself that knowing the ending might ruin the whole thing even if it’s a poetry book “Here” you blindly said and split the book “Let me…” you cleared your eyes amidst the dark room

"In halls of opulence, where high society reigns,

A love forbidden, amidst whispered refrains.

She, a maiden of humble birth, with grace and charm untold,

He, a nobleman of lineage, with wealth and power bold.

Their hearts entwined in secret, amidst societal divide,

Forbidden love's sweet agony, where passions dare to hide.

For in their world of privilege, where status reigns supreme,

Their love is but a whisper, in a world of stifled dreams.

Yet in the hush of moonlit nights, beneath the stars' soft gleam,

They steal away in shadows, where love's light doth beam.

For in their hearts' defiance, they find a love divine,

A bond that knows no boundaries, in a world of rigid line.”

Your eyes darted up to look at him, you didn't expect his eyes to be already on you. His eyes had a certain glint, an emotion you could not pinpoint and as you waited, he cleared his throat.

“That was such a heartfelt piece” he nodded

“Very sad,” you said “I wonder if this person wrote it while going through it or wrote it as a memory of what once was”

“Knowing this world we live in, the latter”

“I enjoyed it” You closed the book and smiled at the cover, you could see the outline of the letters, “I’ll keep it for a while”

“Only if you read some to me too, if I have shared this task I shall share the prize”

You giggled “What a prize, a poetry book”

“Time with you I would say,” he said very quickly in a hoarse voice that he didn’t know he could do

Your heart did a thing, it beat hard and quick but also slow and you felt it was going to be out of your chest.

He was not expecting an answer and so he said "Let's get out of here"

"Yes, let's"

Once outside the room and with the book hidden in your dress, Benedict looked both sides of the hallway and gave you the thumbs up and you both made a run for it, a run for the stairs and to the exit door.

And there you stood, with the cool air hitting your face, with a smile so bright Benedict had to squint his eyes, the laughter came, loud and uncontrollably.

"Miss Ashbourne" He said once the laugh died, the joy in his eyes were still present "and I called myself a bad influence once did I not?”

“I learnt from you, Benedict”

It was the sound of his name coming from your mouth that made him shiver. He didn’t know how or why he felt such a pull. Such desire and such attraction. Unequivocally you were beyond what a diamond could be, the face of an angel he confessed but the natural and free aura that you radiated since he had memory is what made him be there with you at most times.

He didn’t know how it happened but he found himself quite close to your figure, under the night sky, he could see the warm lights crashing against your right side and the darkness hiding the left one.

“What is the name of the book?”

He asked such a simple question but with so much passion that if you were not wise enough to understand the tone, you would have thought he felt compelled to have the book right now.

You blinked at the soft wave of his brandy breath and saw the eyes that stared down -because of the height- and how intrigued he looked.

“Entwined”

[spider-xan]

I'm happy to see all the meta this year, re: the parallels between Jonathan and Dracula at the castle versus Renfield and Seward at the asylum bc last year, it wasn't really a popular topic of analysis from what I remember, and without spoiling anything, I do think doing a read-through of Dracula last year put Renfield in a different light on a re-read, and it's honestly a relief to see Renfield being treated with more respect and sympathy this time around, as opposed to him being a joke character, prop for Seward's storyline, or his mental illness being stigmatized as something that makes him evil, creepy, and undeserving of sympathy and compassion.

Likewise, as someone who does like Seward as a complex and very flawed character, I'm glad to see more discussion about the way he and Dracula are foils to each other instead of such posts being dismissed as character slander - a lot of characters in the novel parallel Dracula in unique ways, so it's a legitimate topic of analysis if approached in good faith! - as well as viewing his treatment of Renfield in a more critical light bc while he isn't actively malicious in terms of intent, it was a little frustrating last year to see some of that critique reduced to how it's unfair to hold him to modern standards when his actions still nevertheless caused harm and some Victorian contemporaries would have seen them as wrong, not to mention that many of our 'modern' standards regarding mental illness are not progressive at all.

[sunonyoreface]

He Knows - Simon “Ghost” Riley Pt. 2

Hi there, this is a series about Simon Riley from COD. This series does not follow any of the established plots or timelines from the games. While I use the names of some characters, they are different from the ones in COD.

Summary: You’re held captive by 141 for reasons unknown.

Word count: 3338

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

Warnings: military setting, violence, explicit language, sexual harassment.

PT3: https://at.tumblr.com/sunonyoreface/he-knows-simon-ghost-riley-pt-3/qgt9szb2sixk 

“Don’t let her out of your sight. Got it?” Captain Price lectures soap as we eat breakfast together. It’s the third talk he’s gotten in the last day about the responsibility of keeping a “hostage”. I don’t know that I’d classify myself as a hostage though, however, something tells me it's just a legality and that there’s less paperwork for hostages than prisoners. That is if this ever gets written down on paper.

“Understood,” he says seriously. It’s only when he talks to price, that he uses this tone. Even when Soap tells me what to do, he doesn’t use a commanding voice. There’s always an edge of humour to his tone. It makes being around him actually bearable in this gloomy place.

They’ve been discussing protocol over bacon and hashbrowns. I’m surprised they’d do so while I’m present but nevertheless, I’m here. They cover everything ranging from where I’ll sleep to what happens when they’re out on a mission. No stone is left unturned.

I don’t have to wear cuffs at the table, however, everywhere else, they stay on. I eat whenever my babysitter eats. Using the washroom has to be approved beforehand and I’m supposed to sleep cuffed to one of they’ll hear if I try to escape. Which is a flawed system in my opinion because If I wanted to hurt them, that’s when I’d do it. However, Ghost apparently determined I’m not a physical threat. Apparently, I am a flight risk though. And apparently, that means I don’t get the privilege of wearing shoes.

When they’re on a mission, I’m to be locked in one of the interrogation rooms with surveillance. I’m guessing those were the rooms on the other side of the hall and not the one I was in yesterday. Part of me wonders why they didn’t want my investigation recorded. Another part of me knows it's probably because they didn’t want a record of me on file if they had to dispose of me. Then, I also asked myself why I had to sleep in the same area as the crew and not in the interrogation room, but maybe surveillance is easier when they don’t have to watch a screen all day.

Ghost sits beside Price at the metal picnic table while Soap and I sit on the opposite side. The other men are sitting at one of the adjacent tables, talking amongst themselves quietly. He doesn’t eat breakfast. Because eating breakfast would mean taking off his mask and I’m getting the impression he doesn’t do that all too often. At least around other people.

Instead of eating, he intently pays attention to Soap and Price’s conversation. His dark eyes flicker between the two as they take turns talking, largely remaining on Soap. I’ve noticed the two of them kind of follow each other around throughout the day. Last night, Soap made sure the cot next to him was open for Ghost. Then this morning, when Soap and I sat down to eat, it wasn’t long before Ghost found his way to our table despite skipping breakfast. I don’t mind Soap, but Ghost sets me on edge.

Just as the thought enters my mind, Ghost’s intense eyes make contact with my own. He caught me watching him. I freeze in surprise. His eyelids narrow with suspicion as he reads my expression. Nothing is innocent to him. Every movement, every gesture has some ulterior motive and he makes it his duty to reveal them. Even in the day’s early hours, he’s as alert as ever. I quickly break eye contact to stare at the last few hashbrowns on my plate.

I eat one potato at a time to keep myself occupied as the men talk. When I finally finish, I look up from my plate to realize Ghost is still staring at me, analyzing every movement. His cold gaze sends a chill down my spine. It's becoming clear to me that my interrogation didn’t end last night. No. He is as suspicious of me as ever.

Why did he clear me if he isn’t convinced, I’m innocent?

“So, when we move bases today, she stays with you the whole time. At any point do you uncuff her?” Price’s voice catches my attention as he mentions moving bases.

“Negative, sir,” Replies Soap. I get the feeling Price doesn’t necessarily trust him to watch me based on the amount of detailed instruction he provides Soap.

“Good. And the blindfold stays on ‘til we’re at the forward operating base,” he says. Soap’s leg bounces under the table and I can tell he’s tired of this conversation. Price is underestimating his abilities.

“Yes sir.”

“Right then. See you boys at 0700,” Price takes his place as he leaves the table. I catch the tail end of a shared look between Soap and Ghost, confirming my suspicions about them being close. I wonder what Ghost thinks about Soap taking on babysitting duties?

Last night while I was showering, Soap collected a few pieces of clothing for me that the men were willing to part with: a pair of wool long johns that I tied at the waist and cuffed at the ankles, a pair of thick socks, boxers, and a long-sleeved shirt that falls mid-thigh and fits like a dress. Several weeks ago I’d tell you I didn’t like the way shirt dresses looked, but today I’m just thankful for something that covers more than my ratty tank top. From what I can tell, I’m the only woman here and it’s made me significantly more conscious of what I’m wearing. I’m thankful for the full coverage and weary of any lingering eyes.

“Can you watch her for a second? Gotta hit the lavvy,” Soap asks Ghost.

“Not my job,” he answers plainly.

“Just watch her, will ya?” he quips back, leaving before Ghost has the chance to refuse. I watch Soap walk away before turning my gaze back to my empty plate. Suddenly the two tiny crumbs are worth analyzing in great detail to avoid making eye contact with Ghost. I feel his eyes on me, waiting for me to look up.

“Get up,” Ghost’s orders are quiet, but I’m not mistaken about who they’re for. He directs me to follow him with a slight nod toward the door. I quickly follow behind him, speeding up my pace to keep up with his long legs. I place my dishes in the bucket beside the door before leaving back to the sleeping quarters. Price mentioned we leave at seven, so it can’t be much longer until the team has to go.

After we exit the cafeteria area, he motions for me to walk in front of him. He did this yesterday too, ensuring I can’t sneak up from behind and attack him. Ghost is incredibly observant of his surroundings. Not only that but people’s body language as well. There’s nothing his sharp eyes miss.

“Pack your things,” he says as we enter the quarters. Except I don’t have anything to pack. I have a single blanket and a pillow that was lent to me last night, but I don’t even know that I’m supposed to keep them. Even if I can I don’t have a bag to pack them in.

“I don’t have a bag,” I mumble.

“What’s that?” Ghost asks, his voice tighter when he talks to me than Soap. He’s annoyed I’ve been passed off to him.

“I, uh, don’t have a bag to carry them.”

“For fucks sake,” he mutters under his breath. “Like looking after a fucking child.”

His harsh words sting, but all I can do is stand here and pretend to not hear them. Ghost rummages through his duffel bag until he pulls out a plastic shopping bag. He wordlessly extends his hand with the bag. His harsh eyes carefully watch as I process his actions and take a weary step forward to grab the bag.

“Thank you,” the words are timid and quiet. I don’t know enough about Ghost to gauge what his actions will be. Although he’s been relatively civil to me, he clearly also has a temper that boils just under the surface. And until I know what triggers that temper, I’ll be walking on eggshells around him. If I’m smart, I’ll walk on eggshells around all of them. These aren’t ordinary men after all and to treat them as such would be a significant lapse in judgment.

Ghost doesn’t respond to me. Instead, he ignores my words and turns back to his bag, packing up the last few items and articles of clothing from his space. Last night, I slept on the floor between his and Soap’s cot. This morning I neatly folded and rolled my blanket up and placed it on the pillow. Now, they only take a moment to stuff in the bag.

I find myself feeling directionless. I take a seat on the floor beside the cot and watch Ghost as he starts to check and clean his pistol. He sits on the edge of his cot now with his feet planted firmly on the ground. The gun looks small in his hands as he methodically disassembles it and lays the parts on the folded bed. His posture is relaxed and his broad shoulders slouch ever so slightly. He attends to each part of his weapon with care, cleaning the barrel and assuring every moving part is working. Ghost then unloads and reloads the clip before sliding it back into place.

“You left without telling me,” Soap’s tense, but familiar voice fills the room. Ghost mutters something indiscernible under his breath.

“I’m not waiting forty minutes for you to take a shit,” he says bluntly. I can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of my lips.

“It was not forty minutes,” Soap sounds mildly offended and as though he’s reconsidering how long he was gone. “Oh, you think that’s funny now, do ya?” his attention turns to me. I bite the inside of my cheek to hide the smile and shrug my shoulders.

“Nope,” I say simply. I feel another pair of eyes on me and make an effort not to pay them any attention.

“Whatever,” he says grabbing his pre-packed duffel bag. Soap grabs a black fabric bag that looks like the balaclavas they all wear, but without the eye holes. “Put this on, you’re not allowed to see where we’re going,” he hands me the mask.

I take one last look at the sleeping quarters before sliding the mask on. The fabric’s soft, but I hate not being able to see. I’m transported back to being held captive by the last group of men who blindfolded me often. When they’d move me from room to room, I wasn’t allowed to see my surroundings. One of the men would get impatient with me as I blindly walked without a guide and occasionally push or shove me. Several small cuts and bruises remind me of his impatience.

“Here,” Soap’s hand lightly taps my shoulder as he offers to help me up. I grab his calloused hand as he pulls me up from my spot next to the cot. His other hand gently grabs my shoulder to steady me, before quickly letting go. “There ya go,” he says softly.

“Thanks,”

“I’ll save ya a seat LT,”

I’m grateful for soap as he guides me through the halls of the base with a gentle hand on the back of my arm. He’s patient: not yelling or shoving me if I don’t walk fast enough. A stark change from how I was treated before. When we get to the vehicle, he helps me up the steps and to a chair.

I hear several of the other men already waiting and I know for certain the layout isn’t the same as a traditional car. This is a military vehicle. A transport van of some sort maybe? From what I can tell there aren’t multiple rows of two to three seats like in a car. Instead, there’s a row of seats connected to the frame of the vehicle that align parallel with the road. Everyone sits shoulder to shoulder and faces the person across from them in the van.

More men pile in and I hear several new voices. There are definitely more of them than just the crew who found me last night. Soap takes a seat to the right of me and I become aware of just how little space there is in here. His warm thigh presses against mine as he straps himself in.

“Here,” Soap presses a metal clasp of some sort into my hand. I grab onto the tiny piece unsure of what to do with it. I tense up when he reaches across me and grabs a strap from behind my left shoulder. His arm involuntarily brushes against my chest as he does so. “Clip these together,” he presses the second half of the clasp in my hand and I blindly fidget with them until they seem to lock together.

“Is this right?” I ask quietly as I hold the latch out for Soap to see. I’m conscious of the other men who are loading into the van. I wish I could melt through the walls and disappear from their sight. I know I’ve been the topic of conversation the last twenty-four hours and now I’m right here for them to examine. The blindfold is almost nice because while I know they’ll be staring at me, at least I won’t know for sure.

Soap grabs the latch from my hands and gives it a tug. “Looks good,” he says. “Should tighten it though,” he grabs the straps closest to him and starts to adjust them. They don’t sit like a normal seatbelt. Instead, each strap wraps around your shoulder and waist to connect in the center of your stomach. The last person sitting in this seat was a man much larger than myself wearing a bulletproof vest and various other tactical gear; they need to be almost fully tightened to fit properly against my frame.

“Ghost, can you get the other strap?” Soap asks. My ears tune in to a heavy pair of approaching footsteps.

“Negative,” a deep voice says, but a new pair of hands grabs the straps on my left side. His gloves brush over my collarbone as he grabs the belt and pulls it tight. He’s more efficient at adjusting the straps than Soap, finishing sooner despite having started last. Once they’re both finished, Ghost takes the seat immediately to my left.

Like Soap, Ghost’s arm and thigh press into my own. The van is designed to fit as many people as possible in a limited space. Touching is inevitable. My heart rate picks up at the close proximity to the two men and my entire body is completely tense. I hold my hands together in my lap with my nails pressing down hard into the palms of my hands. I can already feel the marks they’re going to leave.

The two of them remain silent, however, the other men converse amongst themselves. They’re upbeat conversations. They almost sound excited about this next mission. One last man climbs into the van before the door slams shut.

“All aboard?” I recognize Price’s voice from the front of the vehicle. All of the side conversations come to an immediate halt at the sound of his voice.

“Affirmative,” Ghost’s loud response rings in my ears as he shouts back to his commander.

“Then we’re off!”

Conversations pick up again once Price finishes speaking. Minutes pass before someone across from me switches the topic of conversation. He starts talking to one of the men beside him. I can make out the first man’s words, however, the second one speaks with a low tone that is hard to depict.

“So what’s her deal, Soap? How badly did you fuck up to get that job?” The first man turns his attention to Soap. He’s saying less than he knows. Everyone knows why I’m here. It’s not like there’s an abundance of gossip or girls hanging around their base. When there is, they’re sure to be talked about. This man is fishing for more information from Soap. I feel his shoulders shift as he sighs. He expected this to happen, but not so soon.

“Didn’t fuck up anything,” he responds.

“No? They promoted you to babysitter for doing a good job? Might as well be a fucking lavvy queen,” this earns a few chuckles from the growing audience of men. They’re all curious. I’ve felt their eyes on me since the minute I stepped foot on their base. They’ve been waiting for someone to make the first move. All this fuss, yet no one has acknowledged me directly. Not yet anyway. I can’t imagine it’ll be long until they do. I haven’t been told not to interact with them. But I know better.

“Doesn’t matter,” says Soap dismissively.

“Right then,” says the man. It’s quiet for a moment, the conversation almost seeming to come to a stop. Until the man speaks up again. “And since when did we start bringing prisoners on missions?”

“Well, she ain’t technically a prisoner, right?” Another man chirps in.

“Either way, I don’t see why she’s coming with us,” Says the first man. All of the remaining side conversations have come to a stop. All attention is on Soap, the man across from us, and myself.

“Captain’s orders,” Soap replies. Surely Price is listening to the conversation now that his name’s been dropped.

“He order you to watch after her too, or is that something you volunteered for?” I feel Soap grow tense next to me as his frustration builds.

“Was a mutual agreement,” he deflects again.

“Yeah right,” someone else chimes in. “Who would volunteer to look after a prisoner?”

“Well I don’t know,” the first man drawls out in a suggestive tone as though he’s putting some real thought into his response. “Take the bag off and I’ll tell you if I’d volunteer,”  my blood runs cold from his comment and the air catches in my throat. He earns a couple of snickers from the surrounding men, but they’re quickly cut short.

“That’s enough,” Ghost's commanding voice booms through the van, reverberating through my chest and bouncing off the metal walls. Everyone freezes and the only noise that can be heard is the crunching sound of tires on gravel.

“Sorry sir,” The man responds, but Ghost doesn’t acknowledge him. An awkward silence fills the space for several long moments before a few quiet side conversations begin to fill the space once more. I don’t hear the man across me talk for almost the rest of the ride. Ghost’s sharp correction is enough to shut him up for a considerable amount of time. His men know better than anyone, not to piss him off.

Neither Soap nor Ghost says anything for the rest of the ride and I’m left to wonder about why he put a stop to the conversation. Sure, it made me extremely uncomfortable. But to the other men, it wasn’t more than mildly inappropriate. They say more crude things to each other every day without repercussion. So why would Ghost step in now? Why bother using his rank to stifle a meaningless conversation?

The rest of the ride is long and uncomfortable. My nerves are on edge now knowing how the men of this crew think of me like a piece of meat. I don’t know what I expected. I’m exhausted and all I want is to be able to fall asleep, but my heart is racing too fast and I feel like they might start talking about me again at any moment.

The entire time Soap and Ghost press into the sides of my body and while at first it was uncomfortable, I’m glad it’s the two of them rather than the other men in the van. The warmth from their bodies is strangely comforting – safe, almost.

[detachedminxsfics]

Improv

Characters: Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Actress F!Reader

Summary: You just wrapped for the day on the set of The Walking Dead, and you can't stop thinking about your impending first scene with Negan, more importantly, playing Negan's lover.

Word count: 2.6K+

Warnings: NSFW - Vaginal sex, slight rough fuck, creampie, fucking JDM in his Negan fit bc its hot

A/N: Tried something a little different to celebrate 100 followers! I'm so thankful, and eternally grateful for all the continued love on my Negan stuff. Tysm! <3

You idly tapped your feet against the floor as you held the script in your clammy hands, the spot you'd sunk into on the sofa warm with how long you'd been sitting. You'd gone over it a thousand times, and yet still feared that you wouldn't be able to act it as well as you would like. Jeffrey was most likely still out filming one of his many scenes in the Sanctuary, but you were wrapped for the day. Your characters hadn't gotten the opportunity to interact with one another on-screen yet, but tomorrow that was all going to change. The dynamic between you and Negan was intended to leave one hell of a lasting first impression on the fans, and you needed to maintain the hot-blooded chemistry you were so thrilled to portray. You skimmed over your first scene with Jeffrey for the thousandth time when the door to his trailer swung open, and a weathered black cowboy boot stepped in. He was still wearing his Negan outfit, minus the leather gloves and usual wielding of the infamous Lucille. He looked good, and tired, judging by the huff he entered with as he closed the door behind him.

"Hey." Your small mutter to make your presence known faintly startled him, and he spun to face you with a hand hovering over his racing heart.

"Shit darling, you scared me. Everything alright?"

Your lips formed a small smile, and you waved the script around in your hands to accentuate your point.

"Just going over our scene, y'know since we gotta shoot it tomorrow? And I think, I'm just not sure about it."

You and Jeff didn't know each other awfully well, but you'd spoken in passing between takes on the Sanctuary set, and under general introductory circumstances.

"Oh yeah? Talk to me." He set down the script he had been holding before making his way over to you and lowering himself down onto the space beside you, your fingertips still fiddling with the edges of the pages as you gathered the courage to confess your doubts.

"It's just, who Negan loves is so important to his character. And Lucille is so important to him in the comics, and such an iconic centerpiece to his storyline, and I'm just worried I won't be able to portray the love between our characters authentically enough. Like I can't measure up to that."

He listened to every single one of your words attentively, even nodding in places as you spoke. It was reassuring.

"Look, I've seen you act, and I've seen how much of a badass you are. You're gonna be great, I've got no doubt about that. But if you'd like I got a short break between takes, and we could run our lines together. Just to get a feel for the scene."

Your eyes widened slightly, and you glanced down at the script page in your hand. Your character's first scene with Negan is intended to set the tone for their not-so-public and flawed bond, and what the two of them mean to one another behind closed doors, essentially, in a clothes scattered on the bedroom floor kind of way. Nevertheless running through this scene with none other than the man himself would surely calm some of your nerves, and the offer was just too good to resist.

"Sure. Do you wanna stop just after my last line?" The reason you asked was that the moments that followed after your last line of dialogue was a rather steamy sequence of kissing and shoving, the scene set to cut just as you and Jeff hit the mattress, partially nude.

Jeffrey stood to his feet and made his way over to where he'd left his script, making brief eye contact with you as he flipped to the relevant pages.

"I say see what happens, and we'll do whatever feels natural. Sound good?"

"All good to me."

His eyes lowered back to skim the page, and you stood to your feet too, setting your script down on the coffee table considering you already knew your lines off by heart, thanks to your paranoia. After spending a few moments with the script Jeffrey set it down and glanced over at you, an obscure smile on his face.

"I'll walk up, and you just pretend I'm coming in. You ready?"

"Ready."

Your nerves begged to differ as to your level of supposed readiness, but you averted your focus on executing this scene. Jeffrey took a few steps back until he was on the other side of the trailer, and the elaborate shift as he immersed himself into the character was incredible. His jaw was slightly clenched with a signature scowl to match, and the way he sauntered with that leather jacket just demanded attention, it certainly captivated yours. You were sure you had gotten into character now too, feeling as you shifted the weight from one leg to the other, flexing your hip as you stood. She was bold with a firecracker attitude to match, so it was no surprise Negan was drawn to her.

"Honey, I'm home." Jeff bellowed with that noticeable drawl to his voice, and a wide unnerving smile to match.

"What do you want, Negan? You've had me standing in here longer than I ought to be, like one of your damn wives."

He feigned offense from your displeased tone, every step bringing him closer and closer.

"Well hell, aren't you just happy to see little ol' me? You're a busy woman these days."

You rolled your eyes a little at Negan's blatant self-flattery.

"I'm busy because I've got a duty to do, a job you tasked me with. If you don't like not seeing me that much, get somebody else to run my damn post." You narrowed your eyes to pair with the slight venom laced in your tone, and he closed most of the distance that was left between you.

He was invading what was left of your space now, his smile still lingering on his lips as he exhaled a mock, surprised breath at your rather brash words.

"Oh, what a big mouth on you sweetheart. If you keep forgetting exactly where you stand I might just take your suggestion on board, it would seem you've forgotten your manners."

Jeff swept a stray strand of hair behind your ear as he chastised you for your curt attitude, and you had to redirect your focus back to continue with the scene. That wasn't scripted, and you felt as though it was just a taste of the kind of improv an actor as experienced as Jeffrey would be accustomed to, and it exhilarated you.

"Not forgotten, I'm just sparing with them. Besides, we both know that if you're gonna take shit from anybody, it's me."

The slight clenching of his jaw showed that you were pushing him, urging him into toeing the line of his limits with you. He softly cups the line of your jaw, his thumb resting against your chin. Another non-scripted gesture that made the attraction between the two that much more believable.

"Alright, let's cut the bullshit, shall we? Rick the prick and his band of dickless assholes are proving to be more of a handful than we thought. I've mellowed him out a little, but I need someone I can trust back here, someone to hold the line while I deal with it. And as much as I love Simon, well, he's just not the man for this kinda gig. This is a job for my girl."

You subtly softened your stare, leaning into his touch. Though she could be a hardened, callous woman, she had a soft spot for him. It was important that the viewers could see that, could see that she had weak spots. More importantly, just to see them be vulnerable with one another.

"Your girl, hm? There's a room down the hall with six other girls that are yours too, what's supposed to make me believe I'm so different?" She was teasing him, testing the waters and gauging the level of his commitment to their secret love affair.

You kept your panic internal when you realised you uttered your last words, your features still as relaxed as they had been throughout. Jeff was thoughtful too, the whirl of thought taking place in his eyes. And though you barely knew each other enough for this kind of level of expression fuelled telepathy, you read him anyway. His eyes were wondering whether you were comfortable going ahead, and your slow lean toward his face was your answer. He responded rather fluently, crashing his lips against yours. The kiss was meant to be tame and yet hungry, starved, and full. Your eyes fluttered closed, and the feeling of a hand gripping your hip to further pull you in made you all the more eager. Jeff was a good kisser, a real slow and rhythmic kind of guy. Your arms wrapped around his neck just as the script had prompted, and the movements of your mouths lasted a lot longer than you ought to. He placed his other hand on your hip to draw you towards the wall of the trailer and slam you back against it, pressing his chest against yours, positively trapping you. It was when his fingers played with the hem of your lace trim tank top that you realised you weren't acting anymore, and truthfully, you weren't sure you minded. His mouth was on your neck, his teeth making diligent heated nips at your skin, mindful of the fact that you couldn't have any marks showing for the filming of the show. You breathed a shaky, hesitant moan, and Jeff pulled back to yank your top over your head. When he leaned back in to press his lips against yours you gently placed a hand on his shoulder to halt him, and he glanced at you with a mixture of confusion and longing.

"You forgot your line." You hummed teasingly, tilting your head as you playfully chastised him for his mistake.

Jeffrey grinned at you, the lust having corrupted his gaze conveying his true lack of care for continuing with the scene, and that he surely was no longer pretending.

"Whoops, fuck it." He muttered with a sense of impulsivity, and the next thing you knew, your feet were no longer touching the ground.

He lifted you, and your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist whilst the grip on the underside of your thighs supported your body. The trip to the sofa was brief and rushed, and you fell into the inviting cushions a lot sooner than you thought. Jeffrey was on you in seconds, so fast that you feared you'd forget to breathe. His fingers clambered for the zipper of his black leather jacket, but your words interrupted him.

"Wait. Keep it on, I like it."

Your confession had him raising his brows, a staggered look in his eye as he fiddled with his belt.

"Sure can do, we just can't make a mess of it." He said matter of factly, pulling his now undid belt through the belt loops, and slinging it onto the ground.

You too undid your pants, pulling and shimmying your jeans off until they'd gathered at your calves. You kicked them off, and your panties were discarded shortly thereafter. You were bare besides your bra, totally exposed. When you glanced up at Jeff he'd pulled his boxers down just enough to free himself, his pants still on just in case he was suddenly called to set. You spread your legs to make adequate space for him, and he was more than happy to oblige. He settled into the space you made, placing a hand on your waist as he leaned down to hover over you, the smell of leather and expensive cologne wafting past your nose. Then you felt him, easing in at first, pacing you. Your mouth fell open as your breath hitched, and an embarrassingly breathy moan followed suit. The hand on your hip slightly clenched, gripping you, whilst the other got lost in your hair, sifting through the strands as he eased you through the onslaught of pleasure.

"God, you're so good."

His praise only made you that much more wanton, and his low groans filled your ears afterward. You were in heaven. He was the perfect scene partner, your undeniable chemistry was off the charts, and he was insanely skilled with your body too, something to which you were currently discovering. Jeffrey's thrusts grew harder, faster, a more brutally unforgiving pace as he bottomed you out entirely. His touch was merciless, and your wild and primitive whimpers were positively matched with the way his hips hungrily connected with yours. Your lips smashed together, thankfully muffling some of your noisy and earnest moans. Everything was just bliss. He tasted so good, and he felt incredible. It was as though he knew every inch of your body, and treated it as such. You were intoxicated with him, and the heat pooling in your abdomen only intensified with every thrust. When you could no longer restrain yourself you let go, his lips parting from yours enough to break the kiss but remain brushing, eyes wholeheartedly focused on you as you quivered beneath him. Your rather vocal and intense release was enough to tip him over the edge himself, and he filled you. His throaty groans filled the trailer again, filthy sounds that he hardly made any effort to stifle. You were utterly dazed, still coming down from your high when he lifted you from your place on the sofa in order to turn you towards him, and to lay the back of your head down across his lap. He'd adjusted his pants back to their presentable state, leaving you still nude, panting and splayed across him, but you didn't mind. One hand still stroked through your strands, the other idly planted just below your chest.

"Well, it would seem you've got nothing to worry about when it comes to authenticity. You are beautiful."

Your eyes lit up, and a small smile played on your lips. You parted your lips to respond when a knock on the door of the trailer startled you both, and the sudden sound of a voice from the other side of it.

"Jeffrey, you're needed on set."

A woman politely informed, and he attempted to suppress the disappointment threatening to trace his response.

"Got it, just give me a minute." He called back, a short silence ensuing as the sound of progressively distant footsteps eventually resumed your privacy.

He glanced down at you with a hint of irritation, not at you, but at the situation. He wanted to stay here with you a little longer, at least long enough to make sure you were okay, and to not make it seem so sleazy. But he couldn't. Feeling that he was about to stand up you leaned up, straightening your back as you sat up, and gave him the space necessary to stand. He stood to his feet and smoothed a hand over his somewhat messy hair, the slick that he'd been styled in having gotten ruffled during your spontaneous improv.

"Listen, I'm gonna be shooting through the night, but I've got a room at a hotel not too far from here, same hotel all the others are staying at. It's room 100. Let yourself in, get comfortable, and I'll see you there."

He finished his more demand than a request by rummaging through his pocket until eventually retrieving a set of keys, and he tossed them at you. You caught it with a smile, and you gazed back at him, top teeth dragging flirtatiously against your bottom lip.

"I'll be there." You responded with the hope that you didn't sound too desperate in your enthusiasm, and he took off.

Running your lines with him wasn't such a bad idea after all.

[milkb0nny]

Hello. I saw the open request box and I didn’t know if you would be open to write something for Bjorn? Is he a character that you like? Do you have a favourite character from Series Vikings? I read a lot of your work and it’s so beautiful. Would you be able to write something about and obsessed Bjorn with reader and maybe some smuttyness ✨✨✨Mybe she joins him on the first trip to the Mediterranean 😍😍Andhe can see her from the ship across speaking to Floki and Helga ?

loyal dishonesty

Björn x neutral!reader

Björn: A man obsessing over you

Summary: Björn, who is known to be an adventurous and lustful lover, finally caught an endless desire: you. Though, how is he to portray his passion and admiration towards you?

Note: Thank you for your request! Björn is an... okay character. I rewatched the series so many times and with every rewatch I'm able to like him more. Still, he's far away from being a favorite. 😭 I love Ivar and Floki, as well as Helga and Torvi. Also - the smüt might be a little... Well, I usually don't write smüt. 🫠

Warnings: a little smüt, lustful behavior

Word Count: -

♡....━━━━━━━........ 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ........━━━━━━━....♡

⚜️ When Björn fell for you, his attention became laser-focused on you. The first spark emerged just like with other women, though with you he felt he couldn't reach you. You were different - hard to get yet playful. He's known for his ambition and drive, but when he's in love, that intensity is redirected towards his beloved. His mind desired you, his body burned for your touch and his eyes were always glued on your very beautiful features. Every decision he made was influenced by thoughts of you.

⚜️ He kindly offered you drinks, a lovely chat or a sweet tease to make him seem interesting. Your personality was not only captivating but making him obsessive. Björn's love manifested as a fierce protectiveness - and an unhealthy obsession with you. He was almost obsessive about keeping you safe, especially on the way to the Mediterranean Sea. He secretly checked on you - your health, your daily activities and your bonds with others.

⚜️ Although his history with cheating is well known, he's also a jealous person. He despised to view you with other men or women who glared at you with lust. Björn felt entitled to you as if he had owned the right to you. No one should come too close, no one should touch your precious body without his permission. Though you weren't his, he still kept barging in whenever a person insisted perverted intentions.

⚜️ Björn is not one who opens up. He prefers to be viewed as the strong provider, a fearless man and a good soldier. However everyone is vulnerable. Björn found himself in a difficult position: he wanted to be vulnerable to show you his honest love though he didn't want to lose his identity as a powerful man. Throughout your time together you watched the thick wall break into pieces little by little. You learned about his flaws, his emotional struggles and especially about his insufferable self esteem. Deep inside he was more insecure than you ever had anticipated. Nevertheless you loved him for sharing that with you which was another reason to never let you go. You knew things no one else was supposed to know. In order to keep his secrets hidden, he needed to make you his. His only.

⚜️ As Björn's love deepens, so does his desperation to hold onto it. Emotions crept up his mind he had never encountered before with anyone else. A strange feeling, robbing his thoughts at night. He fears losing you, his passion, more than anything else and is willing to go to extreme lengths to keep you by his side, even if it means sacrificing his own happiness or ambitions. You did not only entertain him, you showed him how true love looked like. The feeling of your warmth was unique and too worthy to ever let go of. Your embrace motivated him to fight for his ambitions but you also scared him. You could not only pass away during battle, but sicknesses also haunt people's lives. A constant bitter taste - one that made him into a loyal husband.

⚜️ His care showed through intimate times as well. Whenever you begged him for nightly adventures, he was more than ready to fulfill your desires. However, in the back of his foggy mind, he would always make sure you're comfortable. Scaring you or hurting you during such vulnerable actions frightened him. Even if his thrusts were rough and heavy, his hands kept softly petting your shoulders.

⚜️ His obsession with you came so far, that he never engages in positions where he can't see your face. Oh, how he adores your flushed red face, your closed eyes and the messy hair of yours. Björn was convinced he would miss out on your heavenly being if the two of you would not see each other during the deed.

⚜️ Björn is a master of seduction, and he loves to show his affection through physical intimacy. Whatever he lays his eyes on isn't safe from his flirtatious attempts. Especially with you he loved to take his time. Playfulness was a form of embracing his love: he would tease you, give you soft pecks and would tickle you only to hear you laugh. From tender caresses to steamy embraces, every touch is filled with desire and longing. He'll tease and flirt shamelessly, always keeping you on your toes with his witty banter and mischievous grin. After all, you were the one for him.

♡....━━━━━━━........ 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ........━━━━━━━....♡

[nayziiz]

Lost & Found | OP81

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x OC (Genevieve)

Author's note: I'm trying something a little bit different with shorter form fics, so please send through any requests or feedback. These one shots will likely not have a second part unless it really speaks to me to continue with it. Thank you!

Masterlist

As Oscar approached the sleek, modern apartment building in the heart of Monaco, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of excitement mixed with a hint of uncertainty. The Mediterranean breeze brushed against his skin, carrying with it the promise of a memorable evening with his teammate, Lando.

However, as he reached the entrance, Oscar's anticipation wavered when he checked his phone and noticed the lack of response from Lando. Perhaps he got caught up in something, he thought, brushing off the initial sense of disappointment. Determined to salvage the evening, Oscar decided to take matters into his own hands and head straight up to Lando's apartment.

As he stepped into the building's lavish lobby, Oscar's mind raced, trying to recall the apartment number that Lando had mentioned in passing. Was it 402 or 204? He cursed himself for not paying closer attention during their previous conversations. Nevertheless, he pressed on, hoping his memory wouldn't fail him now.

The elevator ride felt interminable as Oscar anxiously tapped his foot, mentally rehearsing different scenarios for the evening. Finally, the doors slid open, revealing a corridor adorned with elegant artwork and polished marble floors. With each step, Oscar's heartbeat quickened, the anticipation mingling with a growing sense of trepidation.

Stopping in front of a row of identical doors, Oscar hesitated. Should he knock on each one until he found Lando's apartment, risking embarrassment and awkward encounters with strangers? Or should he retreat and wait for Lando to respond, clinging to the hope that their plans weren't entirely dashed?

In the end, Oscar decided to trust his instincts and rely on his memory, however flawed it might be. Taking a deep breath, he approached the nearest door and tentatively pressed the doorbell, steeling himself for whatever lay on the other side.

Relief flooded through Oscar as the door opened to reveal a friendly young woman. Her warm smile offered reassurance amidst his uncertainty.

“Hi, I'm looking for Lando?” Oscar ventured, his Australian accent lending a casual tone to his inquiry.

“Norris?” the woman asked, her eyes bright with recognition.

“Uh, yeah,” Oscar confirmed, his spirits lifting at the mention of his friend's name.

“He's in the apartment next door,” the woman informed him, her tone friendly and accommodating.

“Oh, my apologies,” Oscar replied, feeling a mix of embarrassment and gratitude for her help.

“That's quite alright,” the woman assured him with another smile, her kindness putting him at ease.

As Oscar made his way down the corridor to the correct apartment, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment at his forgetfulness. He couldn't shake the image of the warm and welcoming woman who had graciously pointed him in the right direction, her beauty leaving him momentarily speechless.

With a meek wave of acknowledgment, Oscar continued on his way, determined to focus on the task at hand. Finally reaching Lando's door, he took a deep breath to steady his nerves before knocking.

After a few moments that felt like an eternity, the door swung open, revealing Lando's familiar face. Relief washed over Oscar as he was greeted by his friend's infectious grin.

“Lando!” Oscar exclaimed, a wave of excitement coursing through him.

“Oscar, mate! You made it!” Lando replied enthusiastically, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Yeah, sorry for the delay. Got a bit turned around,” Oscar admitted sheepishly, his earlier embarrassment fading in the warmth of Lando's welcoming embrace. “I couldn’t remember your apartment number.”

“Oh, so you met Genevieve then?” Oscar chuckled sheepishly at Lando's inquiry about the mysterious Genevieve.

“Genevieve?” he echoed, trying to recall the features of the woman who had guided him to the right apartment.

“Curly red hair, beautiful. She waters my plants when I'm gone,” Lando explained, a hint of fondness in his voice.

“Must have been her then,” Oscar replied, mentally replaying their brief encounter and nodding in recognition.

“Did you get her number?” Lando raised an eyebrow teasingly.

“It was literally a five-second interaction, how was I supposed to get her number?” Oscar's cheeks flushed slightly at the suggestion.

As the night unfolded, Oscar found himself swept up in the vibrant energy of Monaco's nightlife. Dinner with friends and fellow drivers was a lively affair, filled with laughter and animated conversation. Then, the pulsating beat of the club beckoned, and Oscar and Lando danced the night away, revelling in the electric atmosphere.

“Fair enough. Nevermind, I'll just send it to you.” Lando chuckled knowingly. “You can text her and apologise for knocking on the wrong door.”

As they made their way back to Lando's apartment in the early hours of the morning, their laughter echoed through the quiet streets of Monaco. Their spirits buoyed by the exhilarating night, they stumbled playfully through the door, their cheeks flushed with the warmth of friendship and a hint of tipsiness.

But their jovial mood faltered slightly as they noticed Genevieve fumbling with her keys at the door of the neighbouring apartment. She looked up, surprised, as the sound of their laughter reached her ears.

"Hey, Genevieve!" Lando called out, his voice slightly slurred with alcohol but filled with genuine warmth.

“Oh, hey there! Looks like you had a good night.” Genevieve turned towards them, a smile spreading across her face as recognition dawned.

“Yeah, it was amazing!” Oscar chimed in, his words slightly exaggerated in his inebriated state.

“Glad to hear it. You guys certainly sound like you had fun,” Genevieve chuckled, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “I’m actually glad I caught you. I can't get my door unlocked.”

Lando stepped forward, offering to help. Taking the keys from her, he inserted one into the lock and tried turning it, his brow furrowing in concentration. But to their dismay, the lock remained stubbornly unyielding.

Oscar exchanged a sympathetic smile with Genevieve, their shared amusement at the unexpected turn of events breaking through the tension. Despite the late hour and the lingering effects of the night's revelry, there was a sense of camaraderie in their shared predicament.

As they waited for Lando to work his magic with the stubborn lock, Oscar couldn't help but admire Genevieve. Despite the minor setback, her smile remained bright, her demeanour unfazed by the inconvenience.

“We might have to get maintenance out to help,” Lando suggested, his tone tinged with resignation.

“Let me give it a try,” Oscar offered, eager to lend a hand.

Lando handed Oscar the key, and with a determined expression, Oscar stepped forward. He inserted the key into the lock once more, feeling the resistance as he twisted and turned it, his fingers deftly manoeuvring the stubborn mechanism.

After a few tense seconds of pushing and pulling, a sense of satisfaction washed over Oscar as he felt the lock finally give way under his persistent efforts. With a triumphant click, the door unlocked, swinging open to reveal the comforting familiarity of Genevieve's apartment.

A chorus of cheers erupted from the group as they exchanged relieved glances, the tension of the moment dissipating into shared laughter and camaraderie. Despite the minor setback, there was a sense of accomplishment in their success, a testament to their resourcefulness and teamwork.

“Nice work, Oscar!” Lando exclaimed, clapping his friend on the back with a grin of appreciation. Oscar grinned back, feeling a swell of pride at the successful resolution of their predicament.

“Thank you so much! Both of you,” Genevieve expressed her gratitude with a warm smile, her eyes reflecting genuine appreciation.

“No problem,” Oscar replied with a polite nod, returning her smile.

“Oh, Genevieve, this is Oscar. He's my teammate.” Lando seized the opportunity to make introductions.

“Hi, Oscar,” Genevieve greeted him warmly, extending her hand in a friendly gesture.

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Oscar responded, shaking her hand with a friendly smile.

Before any further pleasantries could be exchanged, Lando interrupted with an urgent declaration. “Flip, I need the bathroom.”

With a hurried apology, Lando dashed away, disappearing into his apartment in search of relief. Left in the hallway with Genevieve, Oscar couldn't help but chuckle at his friend's sudden departure.

“Well, it seems Lando's in a bit of a rush,” he remarked, a wry smile playing on his lips.

"If you're not in a rush, can I offer you some coffee for your trouble?" Genevieve offered, her hospitality extending beyond mere gratitude.

"Sure, that'd be lovely," Oscar replied, touched by her kindness.

With a grateful nod, Genevieve gestured for Oscar to follow her into her apartment. As she shut the door behind them, a sense of warmth and comfort enveloped them, the cosy atmosphere a welcome contrast to the cool night air outside.

Oscar took in his surroundings with curiosity, noting the tasteful décor and inviting ambiance of Genevieve's living space. The scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air, adding to the sense of cosiness and hospitality.

Settling into a comfortable chair, Oscar couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the unexpected turn of events. What had started as a simple visit to Monaco had evolved into a night filled with laughter, friendship, and unexpected connections.

As Genevieve busied herself in the kitchen, preparing coffee with practised ease, Oscar reflected on the serendipity of their encounter. Despite the minor hiccup with the door, it seemed that fate had intervened to bring them together, weaving a tapestry of shared experiences and newfound connections.

As the hours slipped away, Oscar and Genevieve found themselves immersed in conversation, their words flowing effortlessly as they explored a myriad of topics. From lighthearted anecdotes to deeper reflections, they shared stories and insights, each moment deepening the bond between them.

As the night wore on, the gentle rhythm of their conversation slowed, the weight of exhaustion settling over them like a comforting blanket. Genevieve's head gradually dropped, coming to rest on Oscar's shoulder as her breathing softened into the steady cadence of sleep.

Feeling the weight of her head against him, Oscar couldn't help but smile, touched by the intimacy of the moment. With a sense of tenderness, he shifted slightly, adjusting his position to provide her with greater comfort.

And as the quiet of the night enveloped them, Oscar too felt the pull of sleep tugging at his consciousness. The warmth of Genevieve's presence beside him was comforting, her steady breathing lulling him into a state of peaceful relaxation.

Eventually, fatigue won out, and Oscar closed his eyes, allowing himself to succumb to the embrace of sleep. Wrapped in the tranquillity of the moment, he drifted off, the gentle rise and fall of Genevieve's breathing serving as a soothing lullaby, carrying him into the realm of dreams.

As Oscar returned to Lando's apartment the following morning, a buoyant energy infused his every step, his heart light with the joy of newfound connection and unexpected camaraderie. Despite the early hour, his spirit soared with the exuberance of a schoolboy, his thoughts abuzz with the memories of the night before.

Entering the apartment with a spring in his step, Oscar greeted Lando with a wide grin, unable to contain his excitement.

“Mate, you won't believe the night I had!” He exclaimed, his words tumbling out in a rush of enthusiasm. Lando raised an eyebrow, a bemused smile playing on his lips as he took in Oscar's giddy demeanour.

“Sounds like you had quite the adventure,” he remarked, his tone tinged with amusement.

“Oh, it was more than an adventure, Lando. It was... it was magical,” Oscar gushed, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

As he regaled Lando with tales of his night spent chatting with Genevieve, their conversation stretching into the early hours of the morning, Oscar couldn't help but relive the moments of connection that had made the night so special.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Lando's question hung in the air, prompting Oscar to pause and consider his response. With a determined smile, he met his friend's gaze, his excitement palpable.

“I'm going to take her on a date,” he declared, his voice brimming with certainty. “And when I get back to the UK, I'm going to start packing my stuff to move to Monaco, because she's just incredible.”

The words spilled forth with a sense of conviction that left no room for doubt. In Genevieve, Oscar had found something special – a connection that transcended mere friendship, igniting a spark of possibility that filled him with renewed purpose and excitement.

As he contemplated the future that lay ahead, Oscar couldn't help but feel a surge of anticipation for the adventures that awaited him in Monaco. With Genevieve by his side, the possibilities seemed endless, each moment brimming with the promise of new experiences and shared dreams.

And as he shared his plans with Lando, the support and encouragement in his friend's eyes only served to bolster his resolve. With a grateful nod, Oscar knew that the journey ahead would be filled with challenges and uncertainties, but he also knew that he was ready to embrace them, fueled by the fire of newfound love and the boundless potential of the future.

“I knew you'd like her,” Lando teased, his tone playful. “I did give you her apartment number to begin with anyway.”

Oscar couldn't help but chuckle at Lando's teasing remark, a sheepish grin spreading across his face.

“I owe you big time for that,” he replied with a grin, his admiration for Lando's intuition evident in his words.

[saturnbellfromhell]

MERCURIAL ENERGY

We have dived deep into our two youthful planets Venus and Mars. These two are the daughter and son of our masculine Sun and feminine Moon. But what about Mercury? Where does Mercury belong and to whom does Mercury belong? For some reason I see Mercury as being the same matter which are Venus and Mars made of, but with an interesting twist.

▫️Firstly Mercury is a neutral planet, being neither masculine nor feminine. Secondly Mercury is the only planet in SECT which is neither a benefic nor malefic, so it does not bring good or evil into one's chart. Mercury just exists and by doing so stands out from the other planets that are in close range to the Sun.

In my perspective I imagine this invisible veil between the juvenile and elder planets. The juvenile planets include: Mercury, Venus, Mars and the Moon. These planets are the Sun's family and in this family of 5 we can clearly see how different, but also familiar they all are. All of their energies blend so effortlessly together, learning from one another and becoming great. Together with the ascendant they make up the so called "Big Six" in astrology. Meaning these placements are more personal than the others mentioned.

▫️Mercury is the first planet in our solar system, the burning planet which represents our communication style. Meaning it shows in which ways we get our words across and how we write them out. It is the planet always in search of new possibilities and opinions. A highly intellectual planet helping us reach our potentional to think quickly and rationalize. Mercurial energy can be divided into two signs: one being mutable air- Gemini, and the other being mutable earth-Virgo. These signs are both the homeowners of Mercury. Mercury has chosen them as residents because of their hunger for  new skills and their adaptability to unfamiliar situations and people. They are the listens, talkers, explorers of new information and one's who rely more on their head, than their heart. So both can seem cold or aloof to emotions. I think of these two sister signs as the scientists of the zodiac, always absorbing new information, reading about it, trying their hardest to solve it and enjoying the process. Mutable signs signify the end to an old season, Gemini ends spring and Virgo ends summer. Both of them hold energy of change, with change folllows flexibility. They are the signs which we can say "perfect" everything the cardinals and fixed signs have already done. By doing so they need patience for brainstorming, productivity and finding solutions. But not everything is perfect for these sisters, they can take on too many projects and become overwhelmed very soon with their decisions. But nevertheless, Gemini and Virgo are very detail oriented and restless individuals. But what are the differences between these signs?

▫️Gemini is the first sign of the air signs, which automatically means they are the child of the air bunch. They are indeed witty and open, charismatic and friendly, playful and chatty. They really inbody Mercury at it's finest. They love meeting new people and being in the center of the crowd chatting away their passions and interests. They adore making others laugh as well, they are known to be the class clown or the popular kid. Everybody loves a true Gemini, they constantly bring this wave of freshness to the table. Not very shy by nature and a master at blending in with the crowd. Gemini's flaws are one's related to not having enough patience to finish things. They get carried away with going out, searching new things, shopping, listening to music, reading books, meeting new people and a thousand other hobbies and practices. Because of this they can be a little bit unreliable and impulsive. On the other hand, I've never met a true Gemini (meaning not a lot of earth/water) who is secretive, sorry Gemini but I wouldn't want to disclose a lot of personal things with you being a secretive Capricorn myself! They don't do it out of spite, to be fair. They kind of just forget that information is very important and keep talking away. They can be a little naive and clueless in their forming years with what to say and what not to say! They are an amazing teammate or class partner to have around as well, showing new strategies of both ends. Gemini's are also excellent writers and journalists, with their sharp thoughts and unconeventable style they know how to get an audience hooked on their work. In love they are up for new adventures and crave constatnt intellectual dialogs, without them Gemini's are prone to get bored quickly and find a better and more intersteing mate! So if you can't keep a Gemini, you need somebody more mellow and down to earth...maybe a Virgo?

▫️Virgos in my experience get a bad reputation most of the time. Yes, they like things to be their way, but that's just an earth sign thing. Yes they are very organized and dislike people in their private space and yes they are perfectionists because of this they can become very self conscious of their own work. But not all is bad for this earthly Mercurial goddess. Being an earth sign always means more caution with socializing. Virogo's are much more reserved than their sister Gemini, I mean at the end of the day they are the older sister and with age comes wisdom. They are very pracital and bland, but not bland in a bad way just casual with their demenoir. They seek peace within themselves and a lot of space to create what they adore. If you ever need a power point presentation, essay, schedule befriend a Virgo. If you're prone to messiness and rearranging things, than don't even try befriending a Virgo they will curse the hell out of you. I think the thing I love about Virgo's the most is their loyalty and honesty, it can come across bitchy to some sensitive individuals, but I'm all about being upfront. They are also known to not really commit in a traditional sense, they kinda just move in, put their nicest cup in your cupboard and clean your house and than poof all of a sudden they are living with you. They aren't very vocal in their love language, more of an acts of service type of sign. They adore stability and routine in the relationship, soft chatty nights with a glass of vine and working together to make everything fall in it's place.

◻So the main differences are clearly in the socializing and optimism department. Think of Gemini as golden retriever energy and Virgo as black cat energy. They are opposite in a sense, but at the end of the day are amazing communicators, ambitious hobbyists and intellectual beings.

▫️Gemini is the owner of the 3rd house, also known as the house house of the mind. It encompasses anything that has to do with writing, speaking, communicating, editing, speaking, reading, researching and learning. It also represents our siblings and close neighbour's. So if you by any chance have a planet in the 3rd house it can indicate how you interact with one's close to you. For example if you have the Moon on this house, it means you come off as very emotional to your siblings, relatives or neighbour's. But it also depends in which sign, so if you're Caprricorn Moon is in the 3rd house, you are very distant to those around you, you keep to yourself and like to be the leader of the pack. Very polite in most accasions, straight forward, not very emotional to strangers but very protective over your siblings and relatives. The 3rd house can also show us our dreams, so if you have Neptune in this house it amplifies it! This house is also about development in our childhood, as known you learn from your family, siblings an/or relatives. Sometimes from neighbour's too. They fill our days and make structure in our life. School is also a crucial part of growing up, seeking more knowledge and getting to know oneself around a bunch of kids around us.

▫️ On the other hand, big sister Virgo has the keys to the 6th house. It is firstly the house of health and wellness, exercise and dieting. With this house we can pin point how individuals like to work out, this can mean yoga, pilates, the gym, sports, cardio etc. It also can indicate problems with our health, where it can decline, the more sensitive parts of our body's. For example if chiron is in this house it can mean a lot of health issues with the natives, by doing so this person will fill their life with a lot a information about taking care of their body and by doing so exchange this information with others to help them get/feel better. Other than your health, this house is also the house of daily routines. When and how you organize your day, is sticking to a routine easy or hard for you? Your day-to day job, duties, how we better ourselves and be of service to others. It is also the last personal house, so here we purge our self centered attitude before stepping in the house of partnership (7th house). After the 6th house our lives turn over to others, comprise, transitions, transformation...etc This is also where you find the answers to healing oneself, bettering your life and getting a deeper understanding of your surroundings. If you have planets in the 6th house you better find a way to work with them or you'll be prone to shitty days often.

Let's get into some of mine obersvations with mercurial energy shall we?

▫️Virgo Sun women are so so in love with their partner, but show it in such a cute manner. Not a lot of pda (only if you have prominent fire placements or a fiery Venus). They show their affection in tiny touches on their partner of spouse. They also love to make the bed, put on the show, bring the snacks and make a perfect evening. Their favorite type of unwinding is for sure a book, ambient light and some sweet tea. They also love to discuss what they have been reading lately or the show they've dug into.

▫️Virgo Moons can be very complicated (I see this with all the earth moons, even though Taurus Moon in my perspective is the easiest to have). They have a hard time finding the words how to explain their feelings, which they are not keen to talk about in the first place. But when they do, they can explain their pattern of behavior, but not really emotionally deep. They crave a modest, realistic and honest person by their side. They can also have a bit of ocd. I've met a few Virgo Moons who's mom/dad always forced things to be perfect at home. They can be prone to overanylizing their emotions and coming off distant most of the time.

▫️Mercury in the 6th house can be very nervous and on edge a lot of the time. Even though this is the house whereMercury is at home, these people don't let anything slip threw the cracks. They are amazing in theoretical writing and finding everything they need to write about in a matter of minutes. Amazing with describing things to others. Can be outstanding teachers.

▫️Gemini moons have a humorous take when explaing their emotions. They're the one's to say something sad and than turn it into a joke. They are also prone to becoming chaotic by not understanding how/when to react. They are great sharers of emotions and events, but not the best listeners. Communication, being via phone call or text is their love language, so reply to a Gemini Moon fast.

▫️Mercury in the 3rd house is the "it" placement for a writer, but I think I don't even have to say that...they already know this!

▫️Mercury in the 7th house is an amazing planet to govern this house. It keeps the partnership fresh, simple, full of optimism, great conversation and is never dull. It also helps in work partnerships, since things will be easier to plan together threw good communication.

▫️Mercury in the 9th house can mean you have a talent for learning/speaking other languages!

▫️Gemini Sun's have a good taste in music and they know all about the band/artist, of course. They have to know all about it! I've also met a got of Gemini's who listen to metal, being heavy, death or trash metal. I have no idea if this is a coincidence or not.

▫️I love how cool Gemini risings look like. They always have some fun accessory to show off!

▫️A Virgo stellium can mean you are very prone to isolate until you get your shit together. Their house also looks and feels expensive and sterile. They are the one's to go jogging in 5am, have their smoothies by 6 and than work, have an amazing self care routine and fall asleep on their silk pillows.

▫️Gemini Venuses are very experimental in the bedroom, they do love their partners to be a little bit older and enjoy playing with toys! Also they are very vocal in the bedroom.

▫️Virgo Venuses on the other hand can have a hard time. Since Venus is in detriment/fall in this sign it can be tricky. Virgo Venus individuals need someone steady and secure, someone that will really love them for who they are and make them feel safe. Virgo can be very sensitive so go hug and kiss your Virgo Venus babes, they need it. Don't expect a I love you back from them though, but they will show a lot of love threw their actions rather than words. They do like some ambient light and smooth music to get in the mood.

▫️Gemini Mercury's are really good at dirty talk, go try it out!

▫️Mercury in Sagittarius can be tricky when younger. Every archer is bad in the beginning so they need a lot of practice, in this cause it's with words. Sag Mercuries can have an outburst of words when annoyed, they can say things they don't want to say and not think things threw. They can come off very sarcastic aswell, but they are extremely witty and funny I have to say that.

Xoxo Numa

[comradekatara]

The main difference between Sokka and Zuko's sexism and how it gets mucked up in the fandom is, I think, in large part due to the very 2000's era writing. Sokka's sexism is very explicitly you can't do that masculine thing, because you're a GIRL, which is immediately pushed back against in the text of the show by both Katara and Suki in a very rah rah girl power, girls can do anything boys can kind of way.

Zuko's sexism is expressed mostly in asides, and snarky comments, never in a way that is directly attempting to limit or bar a female character from doing something, and, most importantly, no one ever calls it out because that type is sexism was just unremarkable in late 90s to early 2000s era media. The text highlights Sokka's sexism and ignores Zuko's, so of course so do we.

right, like sokka gets a Very Special Episode about how girls can do anything boys can do, and zuko gets a Very Special Character Arc about how the iraq war was unjustified. zuko mistreating various girls throughout the show is in no way his most obvious crime, while sokka being kind of sexist at the very beginning of the show is nevertheless his most obvious flaw (to you. i understand him tho) so people harp on it as if it’s a fundamental pillar of his character rather than merely symptomatic of the larger overtones of his character. i’ve noticed that because atla is such a digestible text, most people refuse to interpret it or tease out its subtext (beyond looking for evidence for their ships). but just because the text is highly legible doesn’t mean that it’s shallow, and many of the implications that lay dormant are simply waiting to be unpacked and dissected! i hate ppl who are like “you should’ve been paying more attention in english class” for various reasons, but you guys (as in, general statement about atla fandom, not you, the person reading this, specifically) are so bad at close reading it’s dire. that ridiculous person in my replies yesterday who was like “utena is just not that deep,” but it’s an entire fandom. oy vey iz mir

[plague-of-insomnia]

Is Sebastian a Narcissist?

Recently, I came across a series of old posts translating some things from Yana’s now lost blog, in which she did an exercise to draw 30 different facial expressions for Sebastian.

The “shy” one particularly caught my eye because the translation describes Sebastian as “ultra narcissistic” and therefore he can’t really be shy.

[begin screenshot]

[end screenshot]

Now Yana does indeed use the word “narcissist” here (“narushisuto”), but keep in mind that loan words often have slightly different meanings/connotations in Japanese than they do in their original source language.

I do not have a loan word dictionary handy unfortunately, but I did do some investigating in one of my fave online Japanese-language dictionaries (it basically lets you see definitions from various sources at once).

The top definition describes a narcissist as someone who is so in love with themselves they’re “drunk” off of it.

The definition does not use the exact term, but there is a phrase in Japanese that essentially has this meaning. It’s a kind of phrase called “yojijukugo,” and these are always made up of four kanji.

In this case, they are 自己陶酔, which literally means “oneself, self, pottery, drunk,” or less literally, self-intoxication. In other words, extreme vanity.

Additionally, the words weblio includes as synonyms mean things like “pretentious,” “conceited,” acting “full of oneself.” It has a negative connotation and is probably intended as the opposite of the Japanese cultural ideal of the group before the individual.

Put this together with how Yana explains that it’s difficult/impossible to flatter him because he’s such a “narcissist,” and I think we have to assume that Yana isn’t meaning it the way we might here in the West when we use that word. Instead, I think what she means is that Sebastian is self absorbed and overly-vain, which makes sense based on what we’ve seen of him in the manga.

Now, ofc we can use narcissist in a similar way in English, as dictionary.com says:

[begin screen shot]

[end sceeen shot]

But, often it has more of an association with the second one, and I think we definitely need to steer clear of that connotation when we look at Yana’s intent. (As far as I could see, that word is not used for the disorder in Japanese, but as I am not an expert on medical Japanese I could definitely be wrong, there.)

Nevertheless, I think we can all agree that Sebastian is vain and self absorbed, though I do think he’s changed significantly over the four years he’s been working with Ciel, and it will be interesting to see if he overcomes this “flaw” before the manga ends.

(I personally don’t feel you can apply a disorder to a nonhuman like Sebastian, but that is not really the point of this post and I would prefer not to get into discourse. I am not trying to say people with NPD are demonic or anything like that. Simply analyzing what Yana said and what that might mean.)

[cas-backwards-tie]

Music To My Ears

König x Reader

Summary: Uninspired by the monotonous lull of life, König can't help but feel there's something missing. Though he's not quite sure what it is, entirely... until it shows up in front of him.

Words: 600ish

Warnings: angstiness, misunderstanding,

A/N: Another song fic, inspired by... this song.

While he'd never admit it to you considering it'd be grounds for the termination of his position, you'd caught the Colonel's eye. After you've been in the military for a while things start to become monotonous in a way. Sure, there are things that are everchanging and always differing when it comes to the minutia of it, but truly... once you've been in the ranks for a while, it's safe to say that you've most likely seen it all.

Suffice to say, if his life were a movie, the Colonel doesn't think it'd be entertaining in the least. A book? Repeating stories over and over. A song? Something simple, like a children's song. Perhaps something with three chords in the melody. Nothing fancy. Despite his choices, despite what he'd been dealt in life. The truth is... deep down, the one thing that his enemies would probably never be able to guess that keeps him awake is not the actions he's taken, or the things he's done. It's all the things he hasn't. There are days, hours, and moments where all that feel left of him is a shell- a husk of a man, drowned by yearning, longing, and want.

It's not to say that the life he has isn't the one he wants. That he hasn't tried to get where he is or hasn't chosen to pursue what he has. No... no, he's worked hard to get where he is today. Yet, there's always been that part of him. That something, just there, tugging at him, at his heart, deep down- somewhere- deep within.

He has guesses of what'd fill that void. The longing, yearning, deep ache in his chest fulfilled by something so simple? It's a belief he holds. Yet, he's never found himself willing, or pushed, or whatever you'd want to call it. Perhaps, maybe, divinely persuaded to find purchase in pursuing such avenue. Not... until you.

Whether it was the way he found himself utterly enamored by the way he immediately noticed you and the humility you carry. Was there a chance it's the flaws you hold? Obvious in a glaring way when held up against a mirror to the almost perfect soldiers he and his captains train? Somehow you'd make it past selection. And he questions it every day, but doesn't send you home. Though you've only been sent out on a handful of missions he's seen the humanity you've shown not only the hostages, but the fatally wounded and surrendering enemy soldiers, the civilians. As Colonel it's his duty to uphold certain procedure and protocol, yet what could be deemed as a 'flaw', to him, is far more beautiful than everything that he's been taught, trained, and has been engrained into him to do.

Recently, you've been so kind to him. Treating him as an equal, not shying away your opinions or sucking up because of his position. It's clear you trust him, and while he knows that's a vulnerable thing to be given in this field, König knows he'd never betray you like that. Ever since you'd come into his life a few months ago when you'd been transported to base all he can hear is the way the simple music of his life has turned into far greater, more complicated music.

Maybe his outlook is different now, maybe there's a glimmer of hope, perhaps. Nevertheless, he knows his life could be ballads, or instrumental, or disco, or rave, or pop, or any sort of music he desires! Now, there's really a chance that those things he'd never let himself dream of having... of receiving... just maybe, he can dream of having them... with you.

~~~~~~~~

forever taglist: @ohdamnadam , @safarigirlsp , @jynzandtonic , @moonlightsolo

[danaty-consolation]

Nagisa Shiowatari, the misconceived character.

Since Nagisa's episode is coming this thursday, is time for me to come out an explain more about his character based on the manga characterization.

This is a way to point out some things that were not seen in the Ova adaptation and how his character is often targeted of being one of the worst love interest and characters in Urusei Yatsura as a whole.

The flaws of their first meeting

Ryu meet Nagisa first as an appearing ghost, who scared her when she was taking a bath and then he disappeared.

If people are calling this meeting problematic, I think they need to read Ranma 1/2, where Ranma's male form meets Akane which is way more problematic even if is an accident.

Also I think there is more of a problem with these three if we put if realistically, after all she is a scared girl and rather than reafirm this elsewhere these three are with her in a vulnerable position, making her feel more alert rather than more relaxed after that scare.

After that we have a more kinda normal meeting, they scare the gang with this joke

and this is when, we get to know that Nagisa is Ryu's fiancée

The thing here, is that Nagisa had probably grown up by the idea of meeting his fianceé since he was a kid or preteen, the thing is he already knew about his compromise Ryu before meeting her...compared to Ryu who just got told just now, add to the point that here Ryu still thinks Nagisa is a girl meanwhile she thinks that Nagisa sees her as a boy.

Meanwhile I think is way more problematic that Ryu's dad hits his daughter while trying to manipulate her with tears just because she say no to Nagisa.

Changing once again into Nagisa, we see how his last wish before fully disappearing is to kiss the person he likes.

Everyone has one last wish, even tho his wish is innocent to him and quite selfish, it really is uncomfortable to Ryu, because she just meet him and she still thinks he is a girl who thinks she is a boy.

Is it a pretty selfish wish? Yes but is his last one, it doesn't make it ok but when you are about to fully disappear you want to do something you wanted to do when you were alive.

It's believable he would want a kiss, we had seen in the last date, how Nozomi wanted a last date with Ataru. The difference here is that Ataru accepts the date to help her move on meanwhile Ryu doesn't want to be obligated to do something she doesn't want.

Nagisa has a romantic look of what fiancés are, he must think that since both like each other (probably a lie by his father) it must be ok for them to kiss. Nagisa thinks that is okay if he kisses Ryu because they are official, probably his father fault since he is cut with the same scissors as Ryu's father so he omitted some important information like consent in both parts.

Here another misunderstanding, Nagisa thinks that she doesn't like him because he is a ghost, a totally understandable fear because he is dead but she is alive. He must think he is repulsive to her because of being a ghost meanwhile Ryu is trying to explain to him that she is a girl.

Also we see how the others know how this will pass if she just kisses him, Ataru and Lum have more experience thanks to the date with Nozomi so is reasonable how they can see it work. After all if they kiss, he will be out of their lives.

Meanwhile, we see how Nagisa's father is an incredible manipulator by his words, trying to guilt trip Ryu in kissing him when Nagisa doesn't have all that thanks to how he exploited his own son's "feminine look" and put him to work rather than taking him to a school, giving him only hope in the romantic love with Ryu's engagement.

In short Nagisa gets told that she was persuaded when it was just her father that knocked her out in a moment of weakness, Nagisa believes it sadly. Since we had seen how he doesn't rebel to his father says and doings, he takes it all at face value.

However when he notices that he cannot kiss her because he is a ghost makes him super sad.

Nevertheless, a sudden legend with a big urchin that Ataru and Mendou even think about how stupid that legend and action sounds

Makes Nagisa had a physical body again and he is so happy, since this means he can kiss Ryu now.

Ryu doesn't want to and Nagisa tries to stop her in the way he was educated by, a very wrong move of course.

However, by his words, we see that he thinks his situation with his physical body is temporarily. He thinks he will become a ghost again so he wants to get his kiss before disappearing completely.

Then here comes the twist, Ryu shows him her breast, still thinking that he thought of her as a boy, this is Ryu big evasive strategy to stop his kiss, showing that she is indeed a girl and Nagisa by knowing that, back off because he may not be interested in her being a girl since in Ryu's mind she thought that he seen her as a boy.

But it backfired.

Since Nagisa shows that he is indeed a boy and sees nothing wrong with kissing her.

Ryu asking the real questions.

Finally, we see once again Nagisa trying to force himself to Ryu because he thinks his time is running out however, Ryu understandingly says that she has not had time to process all this and doesn't want to do it.

But they notice that he doesn't go with his father because he is kinda alive now with a physical body so now it is shown that he can take it actually slow, with no pressure of disappearing.

2. Nagisa's Character before meeting Ryu and the others.

Nagisa's actions and way of acting represent the way he was raised by his father. It was shown how he has always worked for him while accepting his feminine side that his father had always preferred and promoted out since he thinks Nagisa is a girl, Nagisa is the same as Ryu.

Nevertheless, the real difference here is that Ryu made friends with people who knew her real gender and even had a kinda normal live in school where she became more sociable and seen more normal behavior patterns compared to what she lived with her father, compared to Nagisa who never went to school or have people who knew his real gender. The only person with whom he interacted the most besides the clients who thought he was a girl was his father.

He didn't have anyone else to tell him that his methods were forceful or wrong, he only followed what his dad did.

Ryu and Nagisa are victims of their fathers wanting to make them look the opposite gender, to try to manipulate them into thinking they are from the opposite sex.

Nagisa is more passive than Ryu, he accepts what his father says most of the time.

After all he is more obedient to his father compared to Ryu's open vocal rebellion with her father, the only thing when he contradicts his father is when he shows that he knows that he is a boy and doesn't negate that fact. Sure he act, behaves and is emotionally like a woman but even if he acts like that he knows and is comfortable on being a boy.

That is his only rebellion.

3. Nagisa's and Ryu's relationship while living together.

One night's battle is a small arc that is more to the point about Nagisa's personality and his dynamic with Ryu.

The beginning show Nagisa's dream:

A married life with Ryu.

But the reality is quite different

In this one it is presented how Nagisa is a pretty flawed character.

He is really emotional, like a girl but more over the top. He also eats a lot and is a person who wakes up late.

The thing is until now Ryu and Nagisa hadn't had any development romantically or even as friendship, Ryu is not interested in him in that way and doesn't want to kiss him.

Althrough it is proved that Nagisa is protective of her and doesn't like Ataru trying to make a move on Ryu.

The thing here is, that Nagisa is gullible, he is straightforward to convince because that is his personality and he doesn't know Ryu that well yet. He only meet her recently compared to Ataru and the others.

Nagisa wants to be in Ryu's good side, he wants to know her more but Ryu is pretty stubborn and closes herself because of how they meet and since she sees this as a way to rebel to what her father imposed her, being romantically involved by Nagisa.

That is why when Ryu friends tell him this

He believes in them and feels much better, knowing that he finally has a chance to be on her good side.

And when it shows that Ryu gets interested in him in some way, her father comes out and ruins it by pulling them into a uncomfortable situation.

[olderthannetfic]

I'm a fan of a certain shōnen manga/anime that isn't terribly popular on Tumblr, which is why I also have a reddit account to participate in the relevant subreddit. It's also not a very big thing there, a day or two can go without a new post, and the sort of discussion that arises is obviously somewhat different than that on Tumblr, but something happened last week (and again this week) that I just have to share.

Somebody made a post about how much they disliked this one particular character because she's just so annoying and ugh they hate her every appearance! How can anyone like such a character?! The character in question is a minor antagonist who shows up about halfway through, with a clear character flaw or two (definitely a bit annoying!), and who undergoes character growth later on, but the OP in question had clearly not read that far/only watched the anime which ends much sooner.

Point is, I fucking dreaded clicking that thread--but I did nevertheless, ready to fight for my life in the comments defending her.

...Except that I didn't have to. Sure, there were a couple of comments agreeing with the OP, but they were all disliked until they were negative. The other comments were all arguing with the OP, pointing out a bunch of different things, including, but not limited to:

Since when are we not allowed to like antagonists/villains? (Plus: she's actually a very good antagonist if you think about it, which is why she's great!)

There's plenty of other (male) characters who are just as annoying or even more in different ways (And we like them just fine, so why not her?)

She's just like me, which is why I like her

She's very realistic/she's just being a teenager/I like that she's behaving like a typical 16-years-old, everybody else is too calm

Yeah she's annoying now but her character development is great, I love her

And so on. I was very, very pleasently surprised, especially when another thread with roughly the same idea but by a different person showed up this week, and got basically the same response.

Idk if this is just fans perceiving any sort of attack on a character as an attack on the series as a whole and rushing to defence due to that, and I don't particularly care. Or if my standards are too low ...

Nah, I'm just going to enjoy this. Hope something nice happens to you too!

--

:)

[cardicoven]

hi!! could you share any of your experiences interacting with persephone? or how has it felt to communicate with her? or even just fun anecdotes. ive given her an offering and im so happy to worship her... but god theres so little info or people talking about her!!!

Hey! So thanks for the lovely question, its great to hear that your reaching out to Persephone and are looking into worshipping her. I've been working with Persephone for around 3 years, giving weekly (often daily) offering and have maintained an altar space for her throughout that time. I say this not to boast or seem all knowing on the topic but to give some small context on my practice with her. Like many others my practice and worship of Persephone varies with the seasons, I feel her most strongly in Spring and Summer. During this time when light her candle I feel her presence, almost in that way when a Parent/Mentor/Guardian looks in your direction and you feel their eyes on you. When I leave offering during these months, I often experience feedback sometimes emotional, rarely I'll hear an affirmation, 'Thank you' or 'how thoughtful' kinda thing. When I call for her assistance in ritual I feel her behind me, sometimes guiding my hand, or I'll smell/taste something she advises for the ritual, only for the feeling to pass when I lay my hands on the herb/oil/item suggested. When it comes to divination she a dedicated card in my Tarot the 10 of Pentacles (which in my deck is the Pomegranate 10 of Crops, I use the Bottanical Deck link) and in my experience she's always happy to make it appear when she has something to say during Divination. In Autumn and Winter my experiences with her is very different, she feels distant, less patient, she's in the Underworld and has stuff to do. I don't feel her when I light my candles or leave small offerings. Only when I Invoke her and ask for her help in ritual do I feel her presence, its powerful, not stern per se but business esc, she's there to help and her time is not to be wasted. During this time I only invoke her when I really need her, most often in death work, or partially important banishings/protections and I always have a sizable offering at this time. That's not to say Persephone is not comforting or compassionate towards me in the colder months, her attention is elsewhere, and her responsibilities are with the dead.

That's all little heavy so here's a fun Anecdote. A few Years ago, myself and some witchy friends had a Party, there was plenty of drinking and debauchery (we were celebrating a friends bad break up). During a lull in the evening we pulled some cards and did some Tarot, nothing serious just good fun freaking out a few non-witchy friends, nevertheless Persephone had a word or two to share on the breakup, and while I don't remember much of it, it consisted of pointing out the Guys flaws and highlighting my friends strengths. After we put the cards away my friend asked how she should thank Persephone for her insight, I said leave her a wee offering, pour a shot out for her outside. My friend did so and said the following 'Thank for your wisdom Lady Pomegranate', before going back inside and passing out. I guess it's the thought that's counts.

Just gonna finish this off with a small list of recommended Reading since Anon is just starting out, and hopefully it might be useful. I'll link to Goodreads, but you should be able to find copies of these online somewhere if you try to. o Persephone's Pathway by Jennifer Heather: link : a wonderful exploration of Persephone from a modern pagan perspective but not without flaw. (my review) o Greek Religion by Walter Burkert: link : Currently making my way through this, it's academic and a heavy read but so far enlightening. o Old Stones, New Temples by Drew Campbell: link : an older book about Hellenic reconstructionism, reading it atm, so far its heavy but good. o Underworld Gods in Ancient Greek Religion by Ellie Mackin Roberts: link : On my reading list, 'This volume presents a case for how and why people in archaic and classical Greece worshipped Underworld gods.' o Hellenic Polytheism: Household Worship by LABRYS: link : I haven't got around to this yet but it's comes highly recommended. Hope this helps, and thanks again for the ask.

[a-humble-bagel]

i could be wrong, but i’m pretty sure that “Wednesday” is the first form of The Addams Family that isn’t satire (I haven’t seen the 2019 and 2021 movies and idk if I ever will).

This just leads to some interesting new perspectives because now a lot of people are trying to rationalize/moralize some of Wednesday’s actions which is interesting because no one’s ever had to do that before. 

I think the lack of satire also makes some of the Addams’ actions in the show a little confusing, like how they seem to love all things dark and murderous but then when Gomez gets accused of murder they act as though it’s a terrible thing (I know this can be rationalized by saying that they were scared of the consequences he’d face, but honestly it would’ve been nice if it didn’t have to be rationalized in the first place). 

The thing with satire is that their actions never had to be rationalized because it was funny. Sure, it was dark humour, but you could tell that it was a joke. It was obvious that the point of those dark jokes was to entertain, and those weren’t the morals the story was preaching. Take this scene in “The Addams Family Values” for example where Wednesday sets Amanda on fire: 

It’s obvious that the movie isn’t telling you “set the people who bully you on fire”, because it’s obviously satire. To find the actual message, you have to look deeper into the dark campiness to find the heart of what the story is about. Satires are exaggerations of real life problems, and The Addams Family looks at the flaws within the “ideal American family”. This scene is telling the audience to stand up to bullies, that adults can be blind and part of the problem, not to bully outcasts/people who seem weird, that history is often sanitized, and that colonialism is bad. It’s also a badass moment that feels great because Wednesday and the other “weird” kids are finally getting revenge on a bunch of rude and horrible people.

Now compare that to the scene in “Wednesday” where Wednesday tortures Tyler. True, the scenes take place in very different contexts. Tyler is someone who has physically hurt people, including Wednesday’s friend, so it’s more personal. In this scene, it isn’t just justice she’s after, it’s cold-hearted vengeance (that may be mixed with some feelings of being hurt).. With Amanda, it’s more lighthearted as Amanda never killed anyone. Nevertheless, in both scenes, Wednesday gets violent revenge on someone who’s wronged her, but the message in the TV show is that torture is bad. The Nightshades turn their backs on Wednesday, and she faces consequences for her actions. And that brings me to my next point: consequences.

In “Wednesday”, The Addams family has to face actual legal consequences. In the 90s movies, they only had to face social consequences. Even though they did all those horrifying terrible things, the only repercussions they got were disdain and annoyance from the other characters, which isn’t much of a repercussion. Even in “The Addams Family” when Tully throws them out of their house, the police are never involved, and the thought of the Addams’ going to jail doesn’t even cross the audience’s mind. This is partly what allows them to wholeheartedly engage in macabre and murderous things: the narrative doesn’t punish them for it, and they never face serious consequences. 

After all, if the Addams’ in the 90s movies faced serious consequences, the narrative wouldn’t go anywhere. If the storyline allowed the Addams’ to be arrested, then the judge at the start likely would’ve called the police when Gomez kept hitting golf balls through his window. Gomez would’ve been arrested, and the story couldn’t progress. As a satire, the 90s movies require there to be a lack of police in order to convey the messages of the films. That way, the Addams’ can do all of their usual spooky and dangerous things, which convey the deeper lessons of the story. However, “Wednesday” took away the satire and added in the police.

From the start, the Addams’ are treated as not “ordinary” people, but they no longer exist outside of the law. This is shown in the very first episode, when Wednesday puts the piranhas in the pool. Morticia later mentions that “the boy’s father wanted to press attempted murder charges”. That is a huge difference from the 90s movies. If this was a scene in one of the 90s movies, Wednesday likely would’ve still been expelled, but it would’ve been something she was smugly satisfied about, and there would be no the threat of legal actions. 

In other words, the previous versions of The Addams Family were all treated as satire characters, which allowed them to get away with things that they wouldn’t be able to do in the real world (playing with death/dangerous activities/torture) without the narrative punishing them for it, and without them facing real consequences. Satires require exaggeration, so extremes had to be allowed. However, “Wednesday” treated The Addams’ as regular characters, and had them face consequences like being arrested and jail. This makes it feel like they’re all bark and no bite: it seems like they talk about death and violence but deep down, they abhor it.

This is what made Gomez’s arrest seem somewhat contradictory. The Addams talk so much about how they love death, so why did Wednesday and Morticia have to go to such lengths to prove that he didn’t kill anyone? And Wednesday’s comment at the end of the episode about how she knows Gomez couldn’t really kill anyone just reinforces the idea that the Addams’ are all bark and no bite.

 Besides, whether or not the Addams’ themselves actually disapproved of Gomez murdering someone, the narrative disapproved of it. The story punishes Gomez for potentially being a murderer, just like it punishes Wednesday for torturing Tyler. Since the Addams’ aren’t satire characters in this interpretation, it can’t allow them to go to the same extremes as satire characters, it has to punish them, otherwise it would convey the message “torture and murder are good”.

This isn’t a criticization of how the show interpreted the Addams’, it’s just a neat thing I started thinking about and then decided to write out. 

tldr: The Addams’ aren’t satire in “Wednesday”, so while they still have the same values/talk the same way as their 90s movie counterparts, the narrative has to have them face serious consequences so it doesn’t convey the wrong message.

[fabaceous]

do you think jackieshauna could've gotten together eventually if the plane didn't crash/if jackie hadn't died or were they doomed from the start?

hi anon i know this took a while (sorry) but it's because this is one of my favorite cans of worms to open and i had a lot to say. so thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it ;)

my answer, depending on the day and my mood, ranges from NO to YES, BUT to NO, BUT.

NO, because i think that even on a pure friendship level they are doomed. their flaws were like, designed in a lab (or a writer's room lol) to tear them apart. jackie is insecure and holds on too tightly to shauna. shauna quietly resents jackie for it and fucks around behind her back. as long as they have these traits, their relationship is a ticking time bomb. they will never make it within ten miles of a romantic relationship because even their friendship is doomed.

NO, because even if their friendship doesn't implode, they are both simply too damn repressed to ever make a move. im not even saying this as a cop-out, like, i truly believe in my heart and soul that they both have latent romantic feelings for each other but they tie themselves in all sorts of pretzels to avoid it and i'll go even further and say they are both REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT IT. like more so than most people. given my own experiences denying my (in hindsight incredibly obvious) feelings for girls (and i SUCK at repressing things) i have no doubt at all that they could go the rest of their lives convincing themselves that some girlfriendships are Just Like That. the human mind is a very powerful thing and the human mind on comphet and repression? nearly unstoppable. and even if they dont have some world-shattering blowout, and their friendship just sort of fizzles out for some nebulous and ambiguous (read: gay yearning related) reason, years later they'll still be looking back at their relationship saying Huh. Wasnt That Weird...Well...Nevertheless...I'm Sure It Was Nothing To Worry About...

like, okay, im gonna spend a little more time with this one because i think their repression is so key to their dynamic. jackie is obviously unable to face any aspect of herself that is even remotely imperfect. gay feelings for shauna would definitely fall into that category given what i assume she has internalized from her parents and her peers and it being the 1990s. shauna, while more willing to accept her dark side, cant bear the thought of wanting jackie like that. its the one bridge she cant cross. she'll literally fuck jeff. fucking JEFF!!! before she lets herself act on desire for jackie (at least not in a straightforward/normal way lol)

i think both of them on some level must feel that they have a desire for each other, or else they wouldn't be so desperate to avoid it. but they are SO desperate to avoid it, and i don't really have anything to back this up other than my gut feeling but i just can't imagine them ever overcoming their respective hurdles of repression, and definitely not under normal high-school circumstances. MAYBE in the wilderness they would've had a chance IF THINGS HAD GONE VERY DIFFERENTLY because they would be free from societal expectations or whatever, and maybe a life or death situation could've given them enough of a shock that they'd finally own up to their feelings. but EVEN THEN, personally, i think it's still questionable. i think this is just so deeply rooted that it would be anywhere from incredibly difficult to impossible for both of them to get past it. (it's no good if only one of them overcomes the repression, btw. then you just have unrequited pining (but secretly actually requited but the other person won't admit that they're requiting it so it's effectively unrequited which would be perhaps even worse and more painful. btw. if you even care))

now on to the other options...

YES, BUT, even if by some miracle they were able to get past their repression and date each other, i guarantee you all their toxic habits would be not only repeated but MAGNIFIED by being in a romantic relationship. like, ok, the good news is, they would finally be free to be openly obsessed with each other lol. but... imagine jackie gets EVEN MORE insecure about shauna leaving her because now she actually feels like she has a legit claim on shauna being "hers". before, her possessiveness (for lack of a more nuanced term) was tempered by the fact that they are just friends, and shauna should theoretically be allowed to have other friends, even if jackie doesn't like it. but shauna should NOT be having other girlfriends. so jackie would likely be reaching new levels of terrified of shauna leaving her. shauna would still be unable to address conflict directly. rinse and repeat this whooooole vicious cycle until it blows up in their faces like laura le--[gunshot]

finally, NO, BUT, and this one may be controversial & a bit more far fetched than the others, but i do think that under the right circumstances they could kiss or even fuck without it compromising their repression. i actually even think they could have a sort of sneaky situationship while still repressing their bigscaryfeelings for each other. HEAR ME OUT. they are both very careful about compartmentalizing their desire for each other and keeping it hidden FROM THEMSELVES. they often fail and it boils over despite their best efforts, but the more important thing is that they think they're succeeding at keeping their desire from breaching containment. and as long as they have that plausible deniability where they are hiding it from themselves, even if they don't manage to hide it from the rest of us (or even each other), i dont think its impossible for them to act on the desire, like, on pure instinct, but without actually intellectually or emotionally acknowledging the larger implications that that brings. and even if the desire breaches containment, they could still find a way to write it off as just desire in general and not desire for each other specifically. especially when they also still have the excuse of being horny teenagers with no impulse control, they could easily brush it off as, oh, we were just drunk, we were just experimenting. or even, oh, it was just shauna, it's not like i actually LIKE-like her, i just made out with her, but its shauna, so it obviously doesnt mean anything.

and i think they could even do this consistently for weeks months MAYBE up to a year or so, while deluding themselves into thinking this is somehow normal or not a big deal. because they have already proven they are masters of doublethink and repression, otherwise we wouldn't have gotten this far lol. but it would 100% also blow up in their faces. the question is, who would crack first? who would want something real? or who would walk away because it got too real? theres sooo much to ponder with this particular scenario and it's all very juicy and compelling (and GOD would i love to see it unfold with my own two eyeballs, can bart and ashley please write and film an AU of their own tv show?!) but i dont think it would ever lead them anywhere good or healthy.

so long story short (lol. conciseness has never been my strong suit as is probably abundantly clear by now) i personally do not think there is any possibility of a satisfying happy-ending scenario for these two. and i personally am perfectly okay with that because so much about them would have to change in order for them to get a happy ending that at that point, they would no longer be the jackie and shauna that i know and love.