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pretchatta · 3 years

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Sleep, Little Soldier

I wrote this one several months ago, but it’s been sitting in my wips waiting for me to finish the lullaby -- which I finally have done! I’d meant to do this for @clanoftwoweek for either day 3: lullaby or day 4: nightmares, but... better late than never?

Rating: General; Din Djarin & Grogu; 1010 words

---

Din woke with a start.

He was terrified. Sweat drenched his blacks. Adrenaline spiked his veins. His whole body was cold in a way he’d never felt before, a bone-deep chill that pierced his very core.

At first, he was unable to move, so gripped with fear that none of his muscles would respond. This was not a new concept to Din Djarin, however, and a small corner of his brain immediately began analysing the situation. It was this ability that had kept him alive through countless situations in the past.

He was still lying on his back, in his sleeping cot on the Razor Crest. It was dark; it must still be during the ship’s night cycle. There were no sounds beyond the usual rumble of the engine, so he had no idea what could have woken him, or provoked such a response.

Then he registered the small body lying against his side.

For lack of any additional space, he’d taken to having the child sleep tucked up next to him. It was soft, warm and practical, not to mention the safest place on the ship. Neither of them tended to move much during the night, which made the arrangement all the more convenient, but he could instantly tell that something was wrong tonight.

The child was tense and stiff next to him, and his tiny body was trembling. Din suddenly had the thought that he was the source of this fear; after all the strange things he’d seen the child do, very little surprised him about the kid any more. And if his second-hand experience was this bad... what was the child going through?

All of his protective instincts (that he was still very much not used to) kicked in at once, breaking the paralysis. He rolled onto his side to face the child and flicked his helmet to night vision

“Kid? Are you okay?”

He reached down to stroke the child’s head, hesitating just before making contact. He made the touch as soft as possible, not wanting to add to whatever distress the kid was feeling. The little guy was lying on his back with his large eyes squeezed shut, but when Din’s fingers brushed his wrinkled little head his eyes flew open.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Din soothed. “It’s me. Were you having a nightmare?.” He gently scooped the tiny bundle into his arms.

“It’s okay, it was just a dream. You’re safe, we’re still on the Razor Crest.”

The child’s trembling calmed a little as Din stroked his back, so he continued the stream of comforting words.

“It was just a dream, it’s not real. You’re safe here. It’s okay.”

He shifted the child a little closer to his armoured chest, remembering how the hard press of engraved beskar had always grounded and comforted him when he was young. He’d often had nightmares himself in his early days as a foundling, but there had always been someone there to wake him and then send him back to sleep.

Remembering this, he had an idea for another way to help the child. The old Mando’a song came easily; even after his bad dreams faded, there had always been other foundlings who needed to hear it.

Nuhoy, verd’ika Vercopa’cerar Hukaatir ti cin’ciri Ceratir sha tra

Nuhoy, verd’ika Vercopa’sho’cye Tigaanur kyr’nakil Slanar daab, mar’eyce

Nuhoy, verd’ika Vercopa’kebii'tra As laamyc as jai'galaar Laam ti sen'tra

Nuhoy, verd’ika Vercopa’kurs vorpan Ures’kyr kurshi Woor adol vorpan'oy

Din hesitated; he couldn’t remember any more for the simple reason that he’d always fallen asleep by this point in the song. He considered starting again from the beginning, but a glance down told him that wasn’t necessary.

The kid was fast asleep.

***

At first, he didn’t realise he’d woken from the nightmare. Everything was dark and silent, and he needed to stay still and hidden until the danger had passed–

No. The presence beside him wasn’t danger. It was calm; stoic; concerned. It wasn’t concealing its thoughts in the Force like all the Jedi did, not even a little bit. Even the least Force-aware beings exercised some control over their outward emotions, like they schooled their facial expressions, but not Din Djarin. Grogu could read his feelings as easily as if he were purposefully projecting them, and right now, Grogu felt his concern washing over him.

He listened to the soothing words, clinging tight to the conviction behind them. He focused on what they were saying as the last dark tendrils of the nightmare released their hold on him. The hand on his head – compassionate touch, something Grogu would never again take for granted – grounded him and brought him back to reality.

It was just a dream. It’s not real.

Not any more.

Grogu felt himself being pulled in closer to Din’s chest, and he rested his head against the smooth metal surface. It reminded him of the polished floors of the Temple that he had crawled over before- well, back when everything was happy. Just like in the memories, now he was awash with feelings of others, of care and support and protection.

Of love.

Grogu felt his heart rate slowing, his breathing easing, his muscles relaxing. He calmed, though he didn’t feel sleepy -- not until the song started.

He didn’t understand Mando’a, but it was okay, because he didn’t need to. He could see the pictures that the song created in the singer’s mind, vivid and clear, and not just because Din didn’t conceal his thoughts. There was something about the melody and the cadence of the words that transported him to the far-off places the music described.

He saw the mountains and the snow, the soaring peaks and the slicing valleys. He saw the oceans, the waves, the mystical depths. The jetpack that took him into the sky to soar with the shriek-hawks. He walked through the endless green forest as the wind rustled the leaves above him. He saw it all, and the fantasy took him away from his fears.

He only had good dreams for the rest of that night.

---

Mando’a translation can be found on AO3 - link in source

#the mandalorian #din djarin #grogu #baby yoda #star wars #mandalorian #the child #clanoftwoweek #clanoftwoweek2021 #fic #baby #pretchwritta

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astreetsussserenade · 3 years

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hi ok ik u asked fic writers to reblog that ask game from u but unfortunately as my favorite author that means you've given me free range to pick ur brain i'm sorry i don't make the rules. but if ur willing, can i ask about 3, 5, and 9? and also 17 and 24 because i'm greedy? (also i am bradnate trash and in particular, not yet wise and his stupid mouth got me in trouble make me SWOON, but your portrayal of qtip in, um, everything, esp. the face you make yourself? absolute gold.)

Friend, you are completely correct! You own my brain now, it is in the rules! I would have answered your questions no matter what, but then you shouted out my absurd idiot son, Qtip, so now I'm totally won over. (How is he SO smart and SO dumb at the same time?? I love him.)

3) Do you have any upcoming WIPs? How far along are you with them? I sort of don't! I'm kind of between fandoms right now, where I'm not really keeping up with GenKill but I haven't moved on to actively participating in anything else? I have one fic that I started for the 2020 Kinkmeme that is so CLOSE to being finished that I feel like I should just knock it out but I've lost Brad's voice and every time I try, it starts to sound like generic characters having a chat, which obviously won't do.

5) Share a snippet that you're proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter. Like I said, I don't really have anything in progress right now, but this is a bit from a story I started and will never finish that I really like:

Poke kicks the door frame hard enough that the Humvee rocks a little, and Brad looks up. Poke stares seriously back at him. “Brad. All is not right in Casa del Fick.”

“And you’re telling me this because…”

“Because everyone knows you have some sort of WASPY garden-party-book-club-lovefest going on! You’re the Fick whisperer! So, go do the thing where you two compare notes on your boner for ancient mesopotamia or whatever the fuck you two do and fix this, because he’s the only sane officer we have in this shithole, and I don’t plan on dying just because he decided to develop post-traumatic stress inconveniently early.”

Poke doesn’t wait for Brad to respond, just hoists his weapon and starts yelling at Leon to fucking stow his shit in such a way that a stiff wind doesn’t strew their rations from here to Kuwait.

9) Are there any fics you'd love to see but don't want to write yourself? What are they?

I have LONG maintained that someone should write a story where Walt and Ray try to Parent Trap Nate and Brad back together but honestly, I don't care enough about Walt to be the one to do it. (Sorry, Walt! It's nothing personal, the space in my heart that was supposed to go to you got eaten up by Qtip.)

Also, there's this quote from a really old Irish poem that just IS tragic bradnate but I'm not good enough at delving into darkness to do it justice: Your blood flows out of you; And I didn’t try to clean it, but drank it from my palm.

17) What has been the proudest moment for you so far since you started writing? Right up until I finished Not Yet Wise, I kept insisting that I *wasn't* a writer, I was just a fan who fell into a small fandom and had to write to see what I wanted. I'm proud of Not Yet Wise because it's by FAR the longest thing I've ever even attempted, and because it actually came out with like...character arcs and stuff. Repeating motifs! Actual literary shit. I'm proud of After Action because I feel like there are parts of it that get the GK voice the most "right" of anything I've done.

24) Which fic of yours do you wish people would ask about more? Why? I don't think any fics of mine are particularly neglected (benefits of a small fandom!) but there are a few bits in what I called on Ao3 Assorted Fic Snippets that I wish that *I* had had the wherewithal to develop more. The one where Brad talks to Nate about Nate leaving, the Brad and Nate vampire one*, the Brad and Ray "i can't stand the thought of losing you" one, the one about Qtip and the Iraqi prisoner.

Also, I think that there are ideas in Integrity that didn't totally suit the 5+1 format and I should have saved for another longer fic.

* shout out to @amy-vic for taking a stab at writing another installment of this one

#anonymous friends

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jenivi7 · 3 years

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First Lines Tagging Meme

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE TAGGED IN THIS TWICE! Thank you @ink-flavored and @clyde-side !! (I almost just did this on my own too because I love babbling about my own fics...)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line.

Now pinned and under a cut because it became a really long, really good introduction to me and my stories!

Hello!

Unnecessary and overly wordy introduction/personal musings: I love opening lines so much. When I worked at a bookstore, I used to open books and hardcore judge them on their first lines. I had barely any free time to read at that point so if it didn’t grab me in the first line or two, I put it back. The first Harry Potter book is actually in my pile of really good openers. “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” (Subtle alliteration, HELLO??) So I'm super excited to see if my own first lines come even close to the standards that I apply to other people lol. MY OWN MONEY IS ON NO. I have the feeling that I'm so frantic trying to get the story down on paper before the good words disappear from my head that I'm not actually paying attention to the first line. BUT LET'S SEE, SHALL WE.

So just straight up going backwards, I've written and posted TWO BRAND NEW THINGS after being away from fandom almost entirely for 10+ years! They're drabble length but they're shiny and new! <3 (All available fics are linked!)

1. Tango:

She teaches them to dance so that they can dance with her but when Atem gets that mischievous smirk on his face and pulls Yugi into his arms, their bodies spark and the dance floor smolders at their heels.

(The fic is so short that this is a full 1/5 of it but actually, I think I crammed all the good stuff right into that first line. This already might be my favorite. Like it says there in the line itself, Puzzleshipping.)

2. No Betting:

Anzu sat at the kitchen table writing carefully calculated answers onto sticky notes before attaching them to a fourth-grade math worksheet.

(Peachshipping! This one doesn't pop off until about line five so here's the rest of that bit:)

She had the same arrangement with her spouse as most parents had. When the kids were good they were hers. When they were bad, they were his. And when they were winning at games because they picked up rules with uncanny speed and read their opponents with more insight than ought to be available to a child, they were definitely, definitely his.

3. If you wanted honesty that's all you had to say (working title):

When he realized that the figure sitting under the game shop display window and smoking wasn’t Ryou, the physical body response was as though it had discovered a coiled snake not two feet away.

(This one! It's a NEW half finished(?) WIP. I actually started this one before the drabbles but wanted to finish before posting it. Then it got out of hand, then work got out of hand, then I started a couple more projects and well. I keep putting words on it though and eventually there will be a Kleptoshipper that turns into Puzzle and Tender for your reading enjoyment. Also, fair warning - don't use song lyrics as a working title. Every time I look at the document I get the song stuck in my head.)

Now we have polished up reposts of old stories for their move to AO3, where I'll basically keep my master archive. Not full re-writes but I fixed a bunch of typos and awkward sentences and they're much stronger for it. Most of these are from a pairings contest way back when so LOTS of different pairings and lots of AUs!

4. Human:

It was like a bad noir, the thought crossed both of their minds.

(Scifi AU, Rivalshipping. That one's not bad for a first line. Actually no link at the time of writing cause the re-edit is going up in like, a half hour? an hour? a half day? It's my next project after finishing this, finishing up the edit and posting it on AO3. Now with link!)

5. Blood:

Fingers through midnight black hair, whispers in his ear, touches that sizzled along the skin, awakening nerves and senses.

(Dungeonshipping, Pegasus x Otogi, vampires AU. Oh that’s a nice first line! <3)

6. Crazy for You:

The keys are too large and too heavy for the doctor more used to more modern facilities but she doesn't say anything, just follows the orderly as he pulls the large door open.

(Manipulashipping, Anzu x Marik, Psychward AU. Still one of my favorites from that era. Big bold warning though, THIS ONE CONTAINS NON-CON)

7. Finality:

“What are you doing here?”

“Saying goodbye.” Bakura’s translucent arms swept across the graveyard. “Is this not an appropriate place for it?”

(First two or so bits of dialogue as the first first is a generic question. You can tell this is one of the really old ones just by that but it's a sweet, sad little Tendershipper that still has a special place in my heart.)

8. Pieces of You:

Glitter caught the light, leaving shimmering trails in the air as it got everywhere.

(Glittershipping, Anzu x Kisara. Another one that's special to me. Kisara is my girl and my first writing muse. <3)

9. Cambodia:

“It was summer of fifty three...”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, it can't have been fifty three. You might be that ancient but I'm not. It must have been sixty three.”

(Jiishipping. Yes. Sugoroku x Arthur. HEY, IT CAME UP IN THE RANDOM DRAW FOR THE SHIPPING CONTEST OK. And my writer's brain hasn't backed down from a challenge yet... Another one that takes 4 lines to pop off but it's a good start. Actually, here's the rest of the bit just because I cannot get enough of these two bickering:)

“What do you mean it must have been sixty three? You don't even know what story I'm trying to tell.”

“Am I in it?”

“What?”

“So you're deaf now as well as daft? AM I IN IT?”

“Of course you're in it, y'old coot. Don't know why I'd tell a story without you in it when both grandkids are sitting here.”

10. Coffee and Cigarettes:

"Cigarettes and coffee? That's not a very healthy lunch."

Mana crossed her legs and took a refined sip of her own coffee even as her company was not.

(Mischiefshipping, Mana x Thief King Bakura. Oh this one I'm actually sad that it doesn't immediately sparkle in the first line cause it's one of my absolute favorites of everything I've written. And I think it's the only time I've ever written Mana but I LOVED IT AND HER. Oh no! I lied, I've written her at least one other time though I don't think that one quite captures her sheer chaos energy like this one does.)

11. A Million Missed Chances:

Somewhere along the line, someone made a choice.

(This one. THIS ONE. I think this is by far the most epic idea I've tackled. I still don't know if the sheer scale of the thing came across in the actual fic but in my head it was massive and I remember pounding away at my teeny tiny laptop late at night because the whole thing hit me maybe a day or so before the story was due for the pairings contest. We only had a week to write each fic and my really good ideas never came to me before the very last minute. T.T Conquestshipping, Mai x Valon.)

12. A Fear of Falling:

She drove.

Like she always did when something bothered her.

(Oh the first chapter on this is also one of the really ancient ones. Like one of the very first things I wrote. That first chapter really shows its age and is a little shaky but the others are better and the last one is what fits into the chorological order here. Polarshipping, Jou x Mai. One of my very first ships. Probably THE first actually <3)

13. What Our Creators Make Us:

"Well, well." The match flared, scattering dark shadows until it was blown out and the only light that remained was the red glow from the cigarette end. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

(Psychoshipping, Marik x Spirit of the Ring Bakura. With a bit of Bronze, Angst and Tender in the follow up. Old but I'm ridiculously proud of it, hence it's place in the master archive. Ahaha you can tell how old it is though by how clever I think I am. I thought it was funny to make my audience figure out who was talking and not reveal the characters for a good fourth to third of the fic. Ahhhhhhh. Sorry about past me.)

14. A Revolution of the Spirit:

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't.

That they were close was understandable (you don't get much closer than sharing headspace) but that even now, after deals were made with gods, endless arguments, compromises and the ultimate guilt trip that he had only been a teenager when he willingly sacrificed himself for all of humanity, things she had only half seen and only partly understood even though they had all been there to witness, that even now Atem continued to invade Yugi's personal space as though he belonged there got on her nerves.

(Woah Nelly! That third sentence should probably be three, four and five. Even if I just split it in half we'd continue the pattern of things popping off in the fourth line. I think that's one pattern that's emerging! A really good bit takes me about four lines to set up and deliver! Oh, the challenge was Revolutionshipping, Anzu x Atem, but the fic is actually Spiritshipping, Anzu x Yugi x Atem.)

So confession time, I haven't been out of fandom completely, I just hadn't written my own standalone stories in a very long time. There are a few (ok ok more than a few) long-running rps that @miss-moberg and I have been adding to on and off over the years. I can't resist throwing in a couple of these.

15. Cafe!

The door shut behind them with the soft click of the latch and the exhale of a breath long held.

(This opening line was from December of 2020 when we rebooted a very old Prideshipper and that is a damn good opening line if I do say so myself. I can definitely see the difference now between the newer works and the older ones. I've gotten better, she's matched me pace for pace and eventually something will be finished, I'll work up the courage to ask permission to post it and the whole internet will get to see how brilliant the two of us are together.)

16. Treasure Hunt!

"Ryou, I think you're going to regret letting me tag along on your adventuring this time." Yugi didn't bother turning away from the airplane's tiny window to see if his seatmate was paying attention. He was more thinking out loud with his friend playing the role of a convenient sounding board. "Because I think this trip is the only thing I'm going to talk about ever again."

(One more from RP because it's got that fun, four line punch that we've discovered is a pattern for me! Opening entry is from 2017.)

Also, in truth, my count is a little off when I say I'd been out of fandom 10+ years. I've been away from YGO for that long but I did spend a brief stint in Homestuck where I read a ton of fanfic, flirted with a couple group RPs and even wrote a tiny bit. 9 years without writing a new fic isn't as impressive as saying ‘over a decade’ but it is a little more accurate.

17. What You Will:

In the land of fair Illyria, along a small, sandy stretch of its rocky shore, a ship has come to ruin and one lone woman lies still as death among broken wood.

(The beginning of a Homestuck/Twelfth Night crossover that I'm still determined to work more on someday. It's only got a single chapter but it's magic though now I'm concerned about not being able to recapture that. Not a bad first line though. The style is so different it took me reading it a couple times before going, oh yeeeeeah, that's pretty good!)

18. Relentless:

You pull him to the deck and then across it by the remains of his shirt. Let him say one last goodbye. His ship pillaged, his crew murdered, his hands bound behind his back and at your mercy.

Funny word, that. Mercy.

(The first line is pretty decent but there's that four line combo again! Five but I could basically fix that with a comma. Featuring the troll ancestors Mindfang and Dualscar because every time Hussey introduced new characters they were instantly my favorite.)

19. Black:

There is dark and there is dark and there is dark and then there is black. She is black. Licorice and coal. She is hate and resentment and everything that tastes bitter, the kind of black that coats the tongue like oil, drips down the back of the throat and keeps going.

(Oh wow. Am I allowed to say that about my own work? A Terezi/Vriska drabble that I'm putting as much here as I think I can get away with because it's so good that it fucks me up a little going back and reading it.)

And here it gets tricky because I think the more recent of the old, old fics are in the Drabbles and Shorts collection on ff.net and I can't see a post date. So I'll just pick a good one to end on.

20. Two Princes:

It was inevitable as the rising of Ra's chariot after a long night, as the flooding of the river banks every spring, and Atem always knew that Yugi's kiss would be as warm and gentle as the evening breeze in the summer that brought relief from the scorching day. It was.

(How about the final honor going to more Puzzle/Blind? This probably has the strongest first line of its era. Actually I'm not sure when it was written. It was just hanging out in my writing folder and, thinking about it, I probably wrote it when I was fading from fandom the first time around but still trying to hang in there. No wait! That’s too sad, we can’t end on that! Lets add one more to the list for the sake of personal narrative!)

21. Linger:

The world doesn't need him anymore. It doesn't need his sword and it doesn't need his pen.

(A tiny Princess Tutu afterward that I wrote for myself. Nice one-two punch in the opener. Also it rounds out the personal story that accidentally developed here with a line later in the fic, "Words, however, never stray far from a good writer..." Like, wait, stop. Past me, how did you know T.T)

Did that take a sudden emotional turn for anyone else or was that just me. Can I offset that a little with an honorable mention? Let’s do that while I collect myself. Here’s one more.

Honorable mention: Ryou and the Thief

There was a storm gathering and too much magic in the air. Much more than occurred naturally and magic at this level was never a good thing.

(I can’t have a list of things I’ve written without having Ryou and the Thief on it. If you click on this one though, BEWARE, it’s old, it’s silly and it has a ton of explicit gay sex that… would be written very differently if we were handling it today I’m sure! This is the first RP @miss-moberg and I ever did together and our excuse to Gemship and Puzzleship turned into us running the boys through a whole adventure based on the Osiris myth. It’s the longest thing I’ve ever completed and I’d still consider it kind of my legacy.)

And that’s the last 21(+1!) stories that I’ve written!

The clear winner of best first line for me is 15. Cafe! It’s short, elegant and manages to contain a whole mood even without the context of what’s going on and who’s involved. (Spoilers: It’s Seto and Mokuba making an AU escape from Gozoboro.) Close second is Tango, the most recent story. It’s neat to see just how much better I’ve gotten and also really cool to see that even if the first line itself doesn’t contain a punch, it’s usually because there’s a nice, strong idea being set up and delivered in the first four lines (or so). What a pleasant surprise!

AND WOW, this whole tag thing didn't need to be so long! Or personal! Seriously, if you get this tag from me the challenge is only to list the first lines to 20 stories and maybe try to draw one or two conclusions from them. You all thought I was joking when I said I loved talking about my own writing! But actually, I guess it’s fine like this as I ended up using it as a way to re-introduce myself. Like, "Hey, I used to live here a long time ago and oh my god I love what you've done with the place!" Rather than being someone who's just popped up out of nowhere a few weeks ago to creepily bother all your best of the best creators so....

^///^ Hello!

Thanks for letting me ramble!

Tags! I think I've seen most of the authors I follow do this already but on the off chance you haven't been tagged yet: @elexica (checked your blog to see if you'd already done the tag and saw that you're another person returning to writing fanfiction after 10+ years. Same! Hello!!), @danieco, @draconicmaw, @nedjemetsenen (has someone tagged you already?) and two shots in the dark, @miss-moberg and @edmondia (I'm so sorry you two. T.T Please feel free to block me forever.) And please, anyone else who wants to babble about their own writing! Do this, it was so much fun. <3

#ygo #yu-gi-oh #yugioh #yugioh fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #jenific #so many ships #so many characters like woah #not half bad for a retrospective if i do say so myself #thank you for coming to my ted talk #tag game #first lines tag

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skinsharpenedteeth · 3 years

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NYE Malex prompt fill

A thousand, thousand years ago @mander3-swish sent me a prompt for a list for quote “Can we pretend never said that?” and i have literally had the WIP in my docs every since. Well, today I FINALLY wrote out a little story for the prompt. I am *SO* sorry it took this long to fill it. I hope you enjoy it!

Story under the cut, or feel free to check it out on AO3.

The crowded main floor of the UFO Emporium felt claustrophobic to Alex as more and more people were packed into the already filled space. The room was dark with strobes and lasers cutting through the air while techno remixes of the Top 100 boomed over the speaker system. New Year’s Eve and he was alone once again. Alex tugged on the collar of his shirt and made his way over to the bar that was set up in the center of the room. Maria was behind it with Max and Liz slinging drinks for everyone. He caught Liz’s attention and she nodded, finishing up the beer she was pouring and getting started on something for him. He turned and let leaned his elbows back onto the bar as he surveyed the crowd and surreptitiously looked for someone relatively quiet to hide out.

“Are you cruising for a hook up?” A familiar voice asked next to his ear and Alex jumped to stand up straight as he turned to look at Michael. Michael looked… good. His jeans were clean but worn, his belt buckle was alarmingly prominent at his waist, and as per usual, he’d neglected to button half the buttons on his shirt, but he looked sober and there was a light in his eyes that Alex hadn’t seen in months. A beat too late, Alex scoffed at Michael’s remark and tried to act like he hadn’t just spent that awkward second checking Guerin out. He hadn’t seen him this close in a while and it was tragic how starved he felt to take in every detail of him now that he was near.

“I don’t know, are you?” Alex asked, trying to sound snarky but hearing the flirtatious edge to his voice instead. Michael raised his eyebrows at him, and Alex flushed in embarrassment. “Can we please pretend I never said that?”

“Sure,” Michael agreed easily, though he still looked Alex over with interest. Liz came over and set down two drinks in front of them, barely sparing them a smile before turning to start making her next customer’s order. Alex picked up his double shot of bourbon and coke and took a slow sip, trying not to obviously appreciate the way Michael’s lips wrapped around the lip of his beer bottle. It was always like this for Alex, stolen glances and awkward encounters. Public interaction was never their forte and he knew he shouldered a lot of blame for that.

“So, who are you here with? Forrest?” Michael asked over the music, having to lean close as another song started and the bass seemed to drown out everyone’s individual voices. Alex shook his head in response, getting another sip of his drink before leaning close to Michael’s ear to respond.

“I’m supposed to be here with Greg. At least, he’s my ride,” Alex answered. Michael looked at him in confusion and Alex shrugged.

“I’m pretty sure he’s with Isobel and Kyle. Want to get out of here?” Michael responded, but Alex only caught half of what he said.

“What?” Alex yelled, trying to be heard over the music. Michael opened his mouth to respond, but when the DJ started in on the foghorn button he scowled. With a tilt of his head, he beckoned Alex to follow him away from the bar. They left their drinks behind as they started to push away from the center of the room. The crowd quickly started to swallow him, and Alex lost Michael for a moment as he tried to navigate around the drunks with their stupid New Years Eve tiaras and top hats. He stopped and looked around, trying to spot the honey brown curls that usually led him straight to Michael, but he couldn’t see anything. His brain started to panic a little until he felt an abnormally warm hand close of his. He looked to his right and there was Michael smiling softly at him. This time when Michael set off, he kept Alex’s hand in his as he wormed his way through the bustle of revelers. Alex concentrated on the strength of his fingers and the warm shot of electricity that danced through him at Michael’s touch. A simple touch probably shouldn’t have meant that much, but since his breakup with Forrest, Alex had been isolating himself and it was possible he’d become more than a little touch starved because of it.

Michael led them to one of the far walls and just when Alex thought that was as far as they’d go, he was pulled through a door marked “No Admittance” and pulled into a service hallway. Michael locked the door behind them and kept pulling Alex along the hallway further away from the main room even though the hallway was easily quiet enough for them to speak without having to yell. Having worked for the Emporium before the fire, Alex was pretty sure this was the hallway that would lead them back to the backstage area. A sharp right turn put them into the area where the large travel cases for the rented stereo equipment was stored. Alex was about to ask them where Michael was taking them when he pushed open an unmarked door and they ended up in one of the back storage rooms. The light was dim, but it was almost silent amongst the alien props and discarded display cases and office furniture. Michael finally dropped Alex’s hand and took his phone out of his pocket.

“We have ten minutes until midnight,” Michael announced, shoving the phone back into his pants. Alex opened and closed his mouth a few times in confusion. Michael was looking unsure, bashful even as he watched Alex watch him. Alex didn’t know what they were doing so he shrugged and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“What are we doing in here, Michael?” Alex asked, looking around at the dusty remains of the old emporium that was stacked around them.

“Do you know the superstition that whatever you’re doing on New Years will trend for the following year?” Michael asked in lieu of answering Alex’s question. Alex furrowed his brow but nodded, watching Michael swallow nervously as he stepped closer to Alex. Alex could feel the heat of him even a foot away. Even nervous, he still looked like he was the silver lining of Alex’s fucked up life since returning to Roswell. Michael reached forward and gently removed Alex’s hands from his pockets and then held them in his own.

“I really just wanted to be with you when the ball dropped. I know its stupid, but I want a better year next year and I’m hoping it means seeing a lot more of you,” Michael confessed quietly, eyes trained on Alex’s hands in his. Alex felt like the breath had been knocked out of him at Michael’s words, but he closed his hands over Michael’s and squeezed in silent agreement.

“So you stole me away to hide in what amounts to a large storage closet?” Alex asked, smiling a little at the unintentional irony. Michael, however, looked stricken at the observation.

“Fuck, no. That’s not what I meant to… I just figured this was, uh… more romantic than a bathroom stall?” Michael countered, smiling a little when Alex started chuckling at his explanation.

“Oh, option two was a bathroom stall? Damn, Guerin, not that I don’t appreciate you sparing me the scent of urine cakes, but…” Alex trailed off as he pointedly looked around their surroundings.

“Fuck, we don’t speak for a while and I always forget what an asshole you are,” Michael laughed, taking his hands from Alex’s and pushing his chest playfully. “Jesus, you’re so mean.”

“Well, what do you really want next year, Michael? Because you’ve got...,” Alex looked at his watch before continuing, “…3 minutes.”

Michael looked at him thoughtfully, bottom lip trapped between his teeth, and Alex found himself holding his breath as he waited for Michael to speak. Alex opened his mouth again to say something snarky, arm coming up so he could check the time again, and Michael moved forward in a flash. He walked Alex back the two steps until he was against the cold metal door and his hands came up to pin Alex’s wrists. He wasn’t hurting Alex and he didn’t look angry as he did it.

“This isn’t a closet, it’s somewhere private. It’s somewhere I can kiss you like I always want to kiss you and not just in the ways that are socially appropriate,” Michael breathed against Alex’s lips before making good on his word. It wasn’t a sweet, chaste peck that would be fine for friends and family, or even a long, smoldering open mouthed caress that would be fine for New Years Eve on the dance floor surrounded by hundreds of other people doing the same. It was a rough and ardent, tongue searching every inch of Alex’s mouth, teeth nipping at lips, only rough half breaths through noses permitted type of kiss. It was the only kind of kiss that made Alex glad Michael had pinned his wrists to the door, because his body wanted to surrender and wanted to writhe and take, take, take. Faintly Alex could hear the throbbing yells of the crowd counting down in the main room, but his heart was beating so much faster and it felt too slow to him to be real. Michael let go of his wrists, hands sliding down to grab Alex’s waist and pull him flush against Michael’s body. With his hands free, Alex tangled his hands in Michael’s curls, making fists of them and tugging gently the way he knew drove Michael crazy. He wanted the volume between them turned up to eleven. He’d missed this undeniable connection between the two of them.

When they had to part, had to press their foreheads together and gulp down air, Alex unclenched his hands and let them slide down to grip the open sides of Michael’s shirt.

“Happy New Year,” Michael breathed, Cheshire grin in place even as he kept panting.

“Yeah. Happy New Year. Fuck,” Alex replied, voice slightly awed.

“You wanna go somewhere else even more private?” Michael suggested, hands slipping under the hem of Alex’s shirt to grasp at the smooth muscles at his waist.

“Not until you and I go on a real first date. I’m going to teach you about romance through immersion,” Alex said, punctuating his statement with a soft kiss that made his toes curl just as much as the previous, hungry kisses had. Michael returned it, his hands sliding up Alex’s back before he moved and tucked his face into the hollow between Alex’s shoulder and neck. It took Alex a moment to realize that Michael was hugging him, but when his brain finally came back online, he wrapped his arms around Michael’s shoulder and kissed his neck and ear lightly. “Let’s make sure this trends for us this year, yeah?”

Michael nodded against him and it felt like maybe they were finally in a place to do it right that time. This had to be a better year.

#prompt fill #malex #malex ficlet #michael guerin #alex manes #fluff

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bereft-of-frogs · 2 years

Text

2021 Writing Wrap-Up

Eureka! I found the one of these I did last year. I guess I did it earlier in December, took a bit to find in my archive.

Total number of completed stories: 20

Total word count: 111,883 Posted / 165,199 Actual

Fandoms written in: MCU, Star Wars (pre-prequels, and Fallen Order), Six of Crows/Shadow & Bone

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? I think less? I was really hoping to have finished more of whumptober, but I did actually get a decent amount done. At the midway point of the year, I didn’t think I would get over 100k, but here we are!

What’s your own favorite story of the year? A tie between what follows us, which I’m quite proud of and I’m just wearing old bones, which I keep rereading.

Did you take any writing risks this year? Let’s be real, I played to my strengths this year, it was mostly space travel and ghosts (both real and metaphorical).

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?

- Write fewer, longer fics. Like, actually put more effort into writing more novel-length work even if that ends with me posting less.

- Literally just an outline for the last part of ‘the dead reign there alone’. Just an outline. Come on, brain, that’s all I’m asking for.

That’s really it, because there’s a really big question mark in the middle of the year so I’m keeping my goals pretty low because I have no idea what the second half of the year is going to look like. Hopefully I can also keep consistently writing! (And not have such a dramatic slump again like November/December oof)

Bonus Question: Reviewing Last Year’s Goals:

- Not have such a damned complex about writing. I actually think I did okay with this one, because that ended up meaning me just being like ‘fuck it’. XD Like I definitely still get a little bogged down in ‘damn, I wish this had more of an audience’ or get insecure about various fandom pivots, but I definitely feel like I got to a point where I’m less caring about what other people think about my writing. (As evidenced by plans for the digression fic).

- Write about more space ghosts. Well, I did do that. Though I never actually finished the one whumptober prompt for ‘ghosts’.

- Make progress on series. RIP, no I did not, carrying this one over. Literally just an outline for ‘the dead reign there alone’, that’s all I’m asking future!self, please-

- Write more second drafts. I did middlingly at this. Definitely most of my whumptober fics could use another pass because of course as soon as I post them and I’m reading them back myself, I find all the misplaced punctuation and spelling errors, etc etc. I think I’ll be better at this in 2022 just by virtue of the nature of my goals, which is to write fewer projects over a longer span of time, but we shall see.

Most popular story of the year? the hostage, which, despite my struggles with the MCU lately, when I do read this back I’m like....yeah this is solid. XD It’s not my personal favorite of the year, but I can see why it was relatively well-received.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: real or imagined (what does it matter), I think I have to rewrite the summary, because I thought this one was going to do a lot better, there are BEES and ANGST what more could you want? (but I acknowledge the summary is not very good)

Most fun story to write: the lake was one of those fun ‘almost all in one day’ fics, though ‘impact’ I would say tied, it took longer and I did have to do multiple drafts but it was that level of indulgent whump that is just really fun to write.

Most unintentionally telling story: I don’t think there’s anything too obvious this year...I do have a WIP that is 100% obviously me Processing Some Stuff, but that won’t be done for a while (if at all)

Biggest disappointment: I think in general moving from what was a big and active fandom to smaller, less-active ones has felt a little lonely. I obviously appreciate all of the comments and kudos (and frogs) that I’ve gotten (and oh god haven’t responded to...so many) but I can’t pretend that the drop from averaging around 150-200 kudos per single-chapter fic to 30 hasn’t stung a little.

Biggest surprise: Definitely the slide into the Six of Crows fandom? I never thought I would be here, I read and thoroughly enjoyed the duology years ago, never really cared enough to read the other books, was initially put off from watching the show by (in hindsight, really silly) fandom drama*, but then a friend got me to watch it and I was like ‘wait this is actually good? I have ideas?’ and also those fics have been getting quite a lovely response, so that was really fun.

*Not a surprise, but a victory of this year: I do not give a shit about fandom drama any more. Fuck it. Fuck it all. This was not the first time I put off something I later watched/read and was like ‘wait this is fine what is wrong with tumblr?’ and it’s just been burned out of me. I do not give a shit anymore. The more fans complain about something that seems petty the harder I’m going to watch the thing, I have been fooled for the last time. I’m just so over this attitude of ‘are you really a fan of a thing unless you actually hate it’ like no. I actually like things sometimes, as unbelievable as that sounds. But anyway, 2021 is truly the year that burned the last of the ‘caring about fandom drama’ out of me. It’s honestly very freeing.

- - -

So this was originally a tag thing, I just copied it from last year, but if you feel like using a template to sum up your 2021 writing accomplishments, please consider yourself tagged! Happy New Year!

#writing #new years resolutions and such #idk how to tag this and it seems like all tags are banned now but eh here you go

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jrueships · 3 years

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What wips do you have rn 👀 elaborate pspspspsp

Too many wips.. thats what I have rn.. too many...

WJBFJEBF so the ones I'm most focusing on rn is the spiderman! Donovan/royce au!! So far I wrote the whole exposition and I'm working on the 'enticing incident' LMFAO it's upgraded from my last summary so I have more to write because I'm insane but yeah! It's the one I want done the most but I'm also gonna go on a trip with my buds to this place without wifi for like? Four days so 😭 I might have to finish it there and wait forever until I can post it! And I'm still unsure about the ending!!! THE STRUGGLE

a shorter fic I have in mind still is the russell waiting for kd at a table for two but he never shows up fic! I just really like writing russell widjsbf but not much action happens there! Many just dialogue and a lot of pg fashion/life roasting from Russell's inner dialogue. He's very judgemental of people who give off douchebag frat bro vibes but can't help but feel intrigued by them JABFJWB oh and he makes fun of pg simping for gold diggers

The fics I have written partly but put back in the burner are my donovan/jaylen fic, marcus/giannis, pg/kawhi jealousy fic, pg/kawhi sm*t fic, pg/kawhi space au, and john/trae patroclus and Achilles au! Mainly because they're super long and I get nervous about writing them too much and wasting all my muse on one thing, so I get scared and back off 😭 but I'll tell u the basic summary of them!!

💙 donovan/jaylen fic is based off the idea of donovan going grocery shopping and getting all mad at the thought of the clippers LMFAO. Basically he's at a grocery store getting flowers for his sports medicine doctor for always putting up with his bullshit (never wanting to sit down and relax so he can actually heal. Playing through the pain). But as he shops, he keeps finding the simplest shit that reminds him of the clippers. Like he sees a claw machine and thinks about Kawhi and how collected that guy is, just chillin in the upper stands, while his team is facing a possible defeat. Donny gets all frustrated because like?? He can't just do that? Just sit back and chill while his team is playing without him? Donny HAS to help, has to GET OUT THERE!! kawhi Doesn't... but kawhi is the one who won a championship. And donovan starts doubting his leadership skills and if he's really good for his team.. if he let them down by being Too pushy and Too in their faces.

+ and then when he's getting a cute card to go with the flowers, he spots one that says "you're the man!!" And he thinks about terance Mann and his great game against them, how proud pg, basically his mentor, was of him. And it makes donovan think about his loss and how he couldn't get that same pride out of Dwyane Wade.

Overall, everything makes him feel useless af and he almost kicks a shelf out of anger. But he calms himself down and goes back to the flowers because he actually only got this little dinky green plant still struggling to bloom? He got it for himself because he felt bad for it LMAO but he still needs to get flowers for his sports medicine doctor. He's goes back to the flower section and who does he see? JAYLEN BROWN all gussied up in his depression fit LMFAO.. but they both are. Jaylen and him try to joke but they're both tired and awkward so it sucks IABDKSBD they basically just ask what the other is doing there. Jaylen is just traveling rn because he got nothin else to do IWBDKS but he bought Deuce a souvenir gift! And he asks Donovan if he can help him put it in his trunk (but really he doesn't need donovan's help. He can pick the toy up himself. He just knows that Donovan is too stubborn to accept help when he needs it but he'll always try helping others out! So he wants donny to think he's helping jaylen but in reality jaylen is trying to help HIm because at the car he invites Donovan to go meet up at a hotel with him where they kiss and have sad *** to make themselves feel better WKBFKSBX) that's basically it!!!! I have literally everything written but the *** scene they're literally my weakness.. I love the emotions they make but I hate.. describing the actions it takes to make them?? Idk I just feel cheesy writing it? It's very tedious and boring to actually crank my brain for a synonym to 'moan' because I'm tired of using that word but it's the only word that really applies to that situation without sounding weird, yknow?? Just very tedious

💙💙💙 OK so marcus/giannis idk bro like... it's just taking so long IWBKENF idk what to say except giannis makes a ton of small jokes at marcus

💙💙 OK so pg/kawhi jealousy fic... BASICALLY the plot is LeBron hosts some big rich guy party for the NBA because I need a reason to write all these people that live far apart interacting together OKAY??? But anyways it takes place after 2020 lakers winning the championship! Pg convince the clippers to come or else they'll look bad for being the only team not coming and they media will have a field day with them, so the clippers join the party. Basically everyone who later team up in 2021 are talking to eachother LMFAO like James hardon+kyrie+kd are talking while russell westbrook and beal are bonding over dance moves with a jealous John wall pouting in the corner. Obligatory Marcus and giannis interactions because I can. Kyle and demar are laughing together. It's all goood until LeBron waltzes over with his weird ass feet and starts talking to kawhi. Hes being all Handsome and Strong and lowkey flexing his win. Its starting to make pg suspicious so he keeps intruding upon the conversation. His inner dialogue is basically a ton of lebron hate KABFKWB. LeBron sometimes comments back to pg but ends up kinda tuning him outta the conversation and sly dissing him to kawhi like "how does it feel talking to someone who doesn't hit the side of the backboard lol"

Pg is starting to get nervous because he's trying to compete against LEBRON over who's the better teammate for kawhi.. and with his current playoff history.. he's not gonna win. He keeps trying to get kawhi out of the conversation, but lebron keeps drawing him back in and pg ends up giving up or he risks looking like an overbearing girlfriend.. So he slinks off in hopes of distracting himself. Originally, pg thought KAWHI would be the one standing all alone awkwardly in the room with no one to talk to, but it's slowly becoming HIM who's the lonely one LMFAO. He tries joining in bradley and Russ's conversation because HEY!! Everybody leaves russ! Russ must be SUUUPER lonely and DESPERATE for someone to talk to him‼ especially when his old ex durant is out there plotting with his two hydra heads!! paul thought, anyways, but finds out russ is actually having the time of his life clowning around with beal !! That just makes pg even more envious and he walks away with zero satisfaction of feeling superior JABDJSB he tries talking to John wall like "this party fuckin sucks bro" but John kinda barks at him and pg gives up. He tries talking to marcus and giannis but that was a mistake because the two smartiest smartasses in the room start roasting him together so he's shunned back to pretending like he's getting 700 thirsty women in his dms, AKA pretending like he got a text on his phone while he leans alone on a wall LMFAO. After glancing up periodically (and casually) to see if kawhi is still talking to lebron, he later gives up on playing popular and goes to hide in the bathroom like a fucking loser WHDJBFJEBD in summary he kinda broods and steams about how much he hates lebron and how he's 'so much better than him' and he's just thinking of petty insults against him to try and convince the kawhi in his mind not to leave him for lebron. He gets really mad and punches a mirror, but thank God lebron is playing bass boosted music so no one at the party hears it.

But, demar ends up knocking on the door. He needs to shit. So pg is like.. what do I do with this broken mirror and my bleeding hand.. so he tries to keep demar out and they banter and eventually demar notices its kinda weird for pg to be huddled up in the bathroom instead of partying.. he must be getting high or smthin. So he's like "that's fucking stupid. He can go get high in one of lebrons 700 rooms. Why The bathroom." So he just opens the door LANKDN and sees The Scene.

At first he's like "are u paying for that.." to which pg responds with "uhhh. I tripped and hit my head on it" (while clutching a bleeding fist) but then he realizes OHHH pg must be ... OH is he.. no.. he can't be limp wristed... blah blah they end up bonding over their funny situations: demar being jealous of kawhi and feeling like kyle thinks he sucks because of him. Pg being jealous of lebron and feeling like kawhi thinks he sucks because of him. Blah blah it's a bittersweet ending pg becomes a little less of a jerk blah blah I haven't finished it because I'm stupid and WEAK

💙💙💙💙 pg/kawhi space au is just too long I have to be in the mood to write it or I end up dismissing good details I could have included if i wasn't in such a burnt out mind!

💙💙💙 pg/kawhi sm*t fic I gotta be in the mood to detail the h*rny right 😭😭

💙💙💙 john/trae patroclus and Achilles is mainly just an idea but with no plot!

But yeah!!! Those are SOME of my wips!! This post is really long tho so I'll just shout out those!!!@ thank u for the interest tho that's so cute 😭😭😭 it helps me write more when I have a plot lined up to look off of and remember ideas so this is really helpful to me too!!! I'll be shocked if u read this far tbh!! But anyways THANK U ALWAYS FOR THE ASKS, ANON!!!!!

#ted asks #this one is so long #ted drabbles

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ghostofstudentspast · 4 years

Text

Obligatory (part 3)

Series masterlist

Warnings: a panic attack in the first half.

I am BACK! I finished this baby up this morning and while I won’t be posting as frequently anymore because of college I’ll still be posting/finishing up all my wips!

For the first time in your life, you would have given anything to stay at Hogwarts during the Holidays. Your house had lost its warmth and instead every shadow started to look like a ghost to you. Your father only left his study for dinner, where the three of you sat in uncomfortable silence as knives and forks scraped fine china. Your mother seemed light years away. She could often be found cleaning things unnecessarily, staring off into the distance and only ever casting you soft smiles that didn’t reach her eyes.

You could feel how the weight had shifted in the Pureblood community. Everyone was on edge and keeping secrets from each other. Christmas was a lackluster event in your house this year. Your mother had insisted on a tree and family dinner, but things felt strained. Not at all like the laughter filled Christmases you remembered growing up. Your mother had purchased an absurd number of expensive gifts, as if that would make up for the lack of holiday spirit. Clothes and jewelry and expensive quills littered the dresser in your bedroom and you didn’t want to touch a single item.

“Darling?” Your mother’s voice broke through your absent thoughts. “We’re expected at Malfoy manor in thirty, are you ready?”

You were perched on the edge of your bed, hands clasped in your lap to stop them from picking at the dark red material of your dress. You were vaguely aware of your mother coming to sit next to you on the bed and taking your hand in her own. Her fingers were warm and helped pull you back down to earth.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I didn’t think-“she took a breath and didn’t continue.

All you could do was nod numbly as her thumb stroked the back of your hand. You hadn’t noticed your hand had been shaking until now. Raising your head to meet your mother’s gaze you saw how red her eyes were, how the purple bags were still prominent despite the makeup covering them, how she had faint tear tracks running down her cheeks.

“I know.” Your voice cracked as you nodded again, this time stronger.

“He’s going to be there tonight.” There was no need to say much more, her eyes betraying the fear that could never be voiced out loud.

“I’ll be good,” you offered her a lifeless smile, “I promise.”

The terrifying thought of seeing the Dark Lord in person hung over you all the way to Malfoy Manor. Stepping into the cold atmosphere of the ballroom did nothing to loosen the knot in your chest. Where once the parties thrown here had been lively, full of music and wine and chatter, now it was filled with hushed whispers and something stronger than wine.

“Can we talk?” Draco had appeared at your side like a shadow.

“No.” You didn’t meet his eyes and made to step away from him when a hush fell over the room.

There he stood, dark robes and snake slithering around his feet. The Dark Lord.

“My children,” his voice was high and sharp, “I’m so happy to see so many of you here tonight, proving once again who is loyal to our cause.” you doubted he had ever been happy in his existence.

As if he’d heard you speak his eyes locked on yours. A horrendous red colour, eyes like a snake, bored into your very existence. Your skin crawled and you felt like you might throw up at any moment.

“And our lovely bride and groom to be,” a smile creeped its way onto his face. It was less a smile and more a grimace. “The first in the new generation to follow in their parents’ footsteps. Wise.”

His eyes bored into yours and you could feel his magic pouring into your head. Pushing through your thoughts forcefully. Your heart rate sped up and your breathing hitched. The only thing that reminded you where you were was Draco’s hand resting on your lower back. You pushed all of your thoughts towards the back of your mind and focused on his finger tapping ever so slightly against you. You shot a glance at him and thought you saw his head shake the tiniest bit.

Legillimency, you could feel the Dark Lord prying at your memories. You knew he couldn’t go there, couldn’t know how disgusted he made you feel. You clenched your teeth and thought about the contract, you thought about marrying Draco, pushed the idea of loyalty forward with bile rising in your stomach.

“Continue with your festivities,” he finally broke eye contact and turned his eerie smile to the other guests as your shoulders drooped.

You felt exhausted. Like someone had just ran a bulldozer over your brain. He’d walked through your mind, through your thoughts. You’d never felt more exposed then at that moment.

“Excuse me,” you muttered to Malfoy and turned on your heel to slip away through the crowd of people.

Walking faster than normal you tried not to break into a run as your breathing became unsteady and panicked. You threw yourself into the large bathroom down the hall and threw the door shut before sliding onto the floor and letting out a painful sob.

Tears were streaming from your eyes as you desperately tried to control your breathing. He’d violated your mind. What if he’d seen something dangerous, you’d be endangering not only yourself but your family and friends. You sobbed pathetically, drawing your knees up to your chest and moving into the farthest corner of the room, away from the door. A soft knock at the door only added to the panic filling your veins. You shook your head and covered your ears, unable to breathe. Unable to tell them to leave you alone. Not even your sobs were audible anymore as you fought with your thoughts.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay, he’s gone.” the voice was soft and kind and broke through your thoughts. You shook your head and kept your eyes squeezed shut. “Breathe Y/N. In through your nose, out through your mouth.” the voice repeated until you did what it said. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth.

Your breathing was shaky and didn’t quite fill your lungs but slowly you managed to control your air flow. Tears still running down your face and falling into your lap you uncovered your ears and opened your eyes. Across from you sat the last person you would want to see you like this.

“You’re okay.” Draco spoke softer than you’d ever heard him speak. You nodded, and he offered you a sympathetic smile. It wasn’t pity, instead it held understanding. “I get them too.” He confided without meeting your eyes.

“It’s new for me,” your voice was hoarse and sounded foreign to your ears. He nodded in understanding as you closed your eyes again, rubbing them with the palm of your hands, makeup smudged across your cheeks.

When you opened your eyes again Draco was gone just as quickly as he’d came in. The bathroom floor felt just a bit colder as you dropped your head back against the wall.

When you arrived back at Hogwarts the following week Draco made sure to give you space. You were grateful he hadn’t brought up the Christmas incident again and from the lack of pity in his friend’s eyes, you didn’t think he’d told them either. You did notice that he spent more time looking at you these days. He always wore an unreadable expression and his eyes still held a sharp calculating look but this time he was observing you.

It took a few days of him watching you for you to get fed up and resolve to talk to him. This is why you were currently following him out of the potions classroom and down the hall farther into the dungeons. He stopped about halfway to the Slytherin common room and rounded on you, arms cross and one blond eyebrow raised.

“Stalking me Y/L/N?” his lips almost quirked up into a smirk.

“Christmas, you said you wanted to talk to me,” you raised your chin, so you could look down your nose at him, “so talk.” If you kept up your snooty pureblood persona around him, it was easier to pretend he hadn’t seen the most vulnerable side of you.

“Right,” he let out a short laugh and shook his head, “I was going to tell you that I found something interesting in the Manor library over the break. It’s definitely not something we want to try as a first option but if you’re this desperate,” he dug through his bag and fished out an old leather-bound spell book.

“You found something to break the contract?” Your demeanor perked up and your eyes zeroed in on the book in his hands.

“Maybe,” his voice held an unspoken warning, “again, this is very much a desperate man’s last resort. Or in this case desperate woman.” He added seeing you fidget with your sleeves as he held out the book. “Don’t try anything without me.”

“Yeah, no of course not.” You snatched the book from his hand and immediately opened it to where Draco had folded the corner of a page. Skimming the title quickly you found your stomach rolling in unease, “This is blood magic.” You looked up at him with a frown.

“Yeah, which is why I don’t have high hopes for two underage wizards working it out safely.” He grimaced, “read it for yourself.” He motioned towards the book and turned to keep walking to the common room.

“No wait, Malfoy,” you chased him, still holding the book open to the folded page.

“I have bigger fish to fry Y/L/N,” he kept walking, his long strides taking him much faster than yours, “if you’re desperate enough to try blood magic, you know where to find me.” He sighed and left you standing by yourself clutching the book between your hands like your life depended on it.

Finding a free spot on a windowsill near the common room you began to read. The cold frost on the window had your wrapping your robed around you tightly as your eyes flicked between the pages. Blood sacrifice for magical contracts. No. Blood bonds and magical contracts. Also no. Breaking magical contracts with blood. Ah, that’s the one.

Magical contracts are rarely breakable. The witches and wizards who enter in a magic bound contract will be tied by said contract for the remainder of their lives. The only way to exit out of such a vow is for either party to pass on (ghosts cannot be held to a magical contract).

“I don’t want to kill him,” you rolled your eyes and kept reading.

It is therefore possible to trick the magic bond by imitating death. First, one or both parties must provide a vile of blood to be spilled on the original document. Second, one or both parties must take a dose of Draught of Living Death (instructions on pg. 66) and a half dose of calming draught (instructions on pg. 80) note; the users blood must be infused with both potions. These two potions will bring the user into a two-day long death-like state. This along with spilled blood on paper will render the contract useless as ‘one party will have passed on’ very briefly.

WARNING: taking too much of these potions or using too much blood can result in irreversible damage including but not limited to; loss of memory, narcolepsy, weakened magic, blood clots, death, etc.

You closed the book and stared at the cover as you tried to process what you’d just read. Basically, there was a very slim chance that you’d be able to pull this off and a very large shot at accidentally inflicting lifelong damage. Or death.Unfortunately, in all of your time spent researching, this was the only viable option you had come across.

How much are you willing to risk to break this contract?

Series Taglist: @xkonpinkx @detroitobsessed @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @pointlesscoconut @irlkell @thehumanistsdiary @mo-onstarrs @summer-writes @aplaintart @jjjmaybank

#Draco malfoy #Draco x reader #Draco Malfoy x reader #harry potter #hp fanfic #hp writing #Harry Potter au #obligatory series #Obligatory #Draco Malfoy writing #Draco series #hogwarts #fanfiction #writing

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guccybangtan · 4 years

Text

Pull Me In - Jung Hoseok

pairing; hoseok x reader

word count; 3,058 ( a lil baby compared to some of these other fics 🥵)

genre; fluff, smut, non idol! au

warnings; semi public sex, spanking (like once maybe), blow job, daddy kink, unprotected sex, shower sex, impreg kink/breeding kink; let me know if anything needs to be added

a/n; I know I haven't posted since blue side chapter 10 (which was like three months ago??? I'm so sorry???)

but!! im back with this small fic for ‘The Summer Bucket List Collab’ hosted by @jamaisjoons

now, usually my fics are longer and better but on top of my issues with my college(long story) my dad is also in the hospital with some serious health issues so its been a whirlwind of the last few months

I hate making excuses but I wanted you all to know what’s been up but im hoping to get some more of my wips done now that I have classes again :)

regardless pls enjoy this fic I enjoyed writing it even though its not the best

(also I still haven't written that much smut so pls don't crucify me)

shout out to Maggie - @kimtaehyunq for helping me with the wonderful banner for this! pls support them in their works

enough blabbering, here we go :)

In the heat of the summer, there's nothing more relaxing than relaxing than a nice trip to the water. Since your little brother's birthday fell right at the height of summer, your family frequented the local water park to celebrate, effectively hitting two birds with one stone. Everyone got to cool off and your brother got to have an amazing party.

This year Y/B/N was turning ten and he took special care in selecting which of his friends he wants to attend. Your mother permitted him to bring along five friends, not counting you and the family.

Much to everyone's surprise, the first person he asked for was Hoseok.

Hoseok was your boyfriend of three years, and he and Y/B/N hadn't always gotten along. You and your little brother were very close, and when Hoseok first started coming around Y/B/N felt like he was taking you away from him.

Even though things eventually lightened up and Y/B/N became like a second shadow to him, Hoseok still worried that Y/B/N harbored hatred for him in secret.

"He really wants me there?" Hoseok asked you, fingers halting their ministrations.

The two of you had been settled on the couch nestled among the pillows even though it was sweltering, and Hoseok had been gently massaging you as you laid on top of him.

"You were the first person he asked for. Must be all that energy you have.'' You poked, causing your boyfriend to begin shaking with laughter.

Silence ensued once more and as Hoseok continued to run his fingers across your skin, you found yourself drifting closer and closer to sleep.

Just as you were about to fall over the edge, the rumble of Hoseok's voice in his chest woke you.

"What should I get him?" He voiced his out of the blue question.

You chuckled, shaking your head.

"He'll love whatever you decide on regardless.''

"Well what about..'' As Hoseok prattled on, you let sleep come again.

Before you knew it, it was the day of your brothers party and you were trying to decide which bathing suit you wanted to wear.

"Should I wear this one?" You asked your friend, light blue bikini in your grasp.

"Didn't you say Hoseok liked red, though?" She began digging through the pile on your bed, "wear this.''

From the bottom of the pile she produced a bright red bikini, complete with lace details around the straps and waistband. It wasn't too sultry, but for a birthday party, it seemed to be a bit much.

"It's a ten-year-old's party, Y/F/N! Not a strip club,'' You snatched it from her hands, tossing it to the side, " not to mention my little brother's party.''

"You wore that exact bikini at Namjoon's the other day?"

"That was different...'' You countered, cheeks now as red as the bikini.

"Sure it was, because you knew you were getting laid.'' Y/F/N rolled her eyes, kicking her feet up on top of the pile of discarded suits.

"I don't know what else to tell you then,'' She shrugged,'' you said no to all of these.''

"I'll figure something out.''

Sighing, you began to dig through the pile again. Hoseok was going to be at your place in 10 minutes, and then the two of you were going to be meeting the rest of the group at the waterpark.

You needed to think fast.

Just as you finished adjusting the straps of your top, knocking could be heard on the door of your apartment.

"Would you mind getting that?" You asked Y/F/N, packing the last few things you needed into a bag,"it's probably Hobi.''

"I would but...'' She trailed off, motioning to the chips that were on her lap.

"You're a piece of work,'' You rolled your eyes, dropping the bag on the floor and heading toward the front door, "I don't know what Joon sees in you.''

"My big brain and beautiful face.'' She called after you.

Sighing, you flicked the lock on the door and pulled it open revealing Hoseok.

"Well hello there.'' He spoke, eyeing you up in down as he pulled you toward him.

"Nice to see you too, lover boy.'' Giggling, you fell into his embrace.

"You know I love this bikini on you,'' Hoseok whispered into your ear as he toyed with the spandex material, pressing a kiss against the side of your head," red suits you.''

Before you could respond Y/F/N's voice rang through the air.

"Okay kids, have fun, time to go!'' Y/F/N came around the corner with your bag in hand and began ushering the two of you out the door.

"You don't want to be late! Tell Y/B/N I said happy birthday! Be sure to use protection!'' She continued shouting as the two of you approached the car.

"Use pro- What is she talking about?" Hoseok furrowed his brows as he settled in the drivers seat.

"Haha, she's just joking.'' You blurted out nervously, flicking Y/F/N the finger as Hoseok reversed out of your driveway.

All you got in return was her cheeky smile as she retreated back into your apartment.

The waterpark was near the edge of town. Considering how much space it took up, it was a miracle the city hadn't decided to demolish it yet to build another shopping mall.

The drive to the waterpark wasn't long, but with the windows down and the music blaring as the two of you drove down the open road, you couldn't help but feel relaxed.

Summer wasn't your favorite season, but you didn't care what you were doing as long as you had Hoseok by your side. The two of you did most things together but you never got tired of him, and he never got tired of you.

You were like peas in a pod and you wouldn't change that.

"Here we are!" Hoseok sang with a smile on his face as he pulled into the nearest parking spot.

You could see your family and Y/B/N's friends waiting near the entrance of the park.

After greeting everyone, the group made their way inside of the park and looked for an empty table everyone could place their things at.

Y/B/N and his friends immediately ran to the tide pool and rushed into the water, splashing around and trying to dunk each other.

You laughed at their antics as you sat at the table under the umbrella, reaching into your bag for the sunscreen.

"Can you spray me?" Hoseok asked, pulling his shirt off and setting it next to your bag.

"Yeah, uh, yes. Turn around,'' you nodded, gulping as you uncapped the bottle.

Hoseok was definitely fitter than the average man, and seeing him bathed in the golden sunlight was enough to have your mouth run dry.

"Are you coming or not Hoseok?" Your brother shouted.

"You're keeping the little man waiting, baby. Help me out here.''

Shaking your head to rid yourself of the stupor, you mumbled an apology and quickly applied the sunscreen, making sure he had a nice even coat to protect his skin.

"Keep your mind out of the gutter,'' Hoseok smirked at you as he made his way toward your little brother. "You ready to get dunked?"

For most of the afternoon you sat with your mother and talked while tanning and watching the boys roughhouse. Eventually Y/B/N decided it was time to move to the area that has the big wave come crashing down over everyone and he was adamant that you were coming too.

"Who's gonna stay with mom if I come?" You tried reasoning.

"I'll be fine, go have fun,'' She waved you off, reaching into her bag and pulling out a book," I always come prepared.''

You groaned internally, but didn't fight when Hoseok pulled you out of your chair and began to drag you along behind him.

"Y/B/N and his friends seem to be getting tired," Hoseok whispered to you as the two of you trailed behind the pack of ten-year-olds," we'll probably end up leaving sometime after this for the pizza place.''

"Good, I'm starving.''

Generally, you were a good big sister. Being older you often had to watch out for Y/B/N and make sure that he never got into too much trouble. Since the age gap between the two of you was also so large, you were also often bending to every whim of the little boy.

Waterparks were fun, and you enjoyed spending the time with your little brother, but if there was one thing you hated it was the big wave.

For some unknown reason (definitely not your lack of balance) you always managed to get knocked down and swept under the water when the recurring waves came crashing over everyone.

“I’ll be right here,’’ Hoseok spoke,” you’ll be fine.’’

Sure enough, for the first few waves you were okay. With Hoseok standing behind you, you managed to stay on your feet. But with each oncoming wave, you felt him becoming more restless as he stood behind you.

“Are you alright?” You turned around to ask him as the water calmed.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well you just seem to be wiggling a lot.’’

‘Oh, yeah…’’ he trailed off, “ about that.’’

You followed his gaze as he glanced down and noticed the bulge forming in the front of his shorts.

“Really? Now?” You asked incredulously.

“You’ve been rubbing up against me for the last ten minutes. What did you expect to happen?”

Oh. The waves had been pushing you back into him, but you hadn’t thought anything of it.

“Shouldn’t you go take care of that?”

“Me?! You started it!’’

Looking back over to where your brother and his friends were, you saw that they were still enamored with trying to dunk each other.

‘Perfect time to make a getaway,’ you thought.

“After the next wave you need to head back to mom to get ready to leave,’’ you called out to your brother, “Hoseok and I are gonna go get rinsed off and change.’’

A chorus of ‘okay’s came from the group of boys.

Grabbing Hoseok’s hand, you told him to just follow you.

The good thing about this place was that there was an abundance of showers and they were fairly large, so fixing Hoseok’s- issue- wouldn’t be a problem.

As soon as you were safely in the shower, you threaded your fingers through the hair on the nape of Hoseok’s neck, and you smashed your lips to his.

“We’ll have to be quick.’’

You nodded, groaning as he fondled your breasts through the swim top.

"Careful baby girl,'' Hoseok smirked as he tugged at the waistband of your bottoms,"don't want anyone to hear us now do we? That would ruin the fun.''

Reaching over, Hoseok turned the shower to full blast, the only sound that filled the small cubicle being the water beating against the tile.

"Maybe we shouldn’t.'' You shook your head, realizing how risky the situation actually was.

You couldn't deny that you wanted Hoseok to shove you up against the wall and fuck you like your life depended on it, but you couldn't help but be worried that someone would barge in on you.

The sheer embarrassment that you would have to deal with, especially if it was one of your parents that walked in, was enough to deter you from the railing that you so desperately wanted.

"C'mon, Y/N. We'll be okay as long as you keep quiet? Can you do that for daddy?" Hoseok hummed, hard cock rubbing against your back side.

“Yes,’’

“On your knees then.’’

Without a second thought, you dropped down, knees chilled by the tile floor; a stark contrast to the warmth of the water that was raining down on you.

Shimmying out of his shorts, Hoseok’s cock was red, precum smeared over the tip.

“Open.’’

You complied, the familiar salty taste spreading across your tongue as he slid his cock into your mouth.

“Now suck.’’

Wrapping your lips around the head of his cock, you mouthed at the tip, fisting the rest of his length in your hand.

Quiet pants fell from his lips, droplets of water racing down the front of his chest as he dipped his head.

“The things you do to me Y/N.’’ Hoseok growled, gently rocking his hips forward, pushing his cock further into your wet mouth.

Letting him take control, you felt the tip of his cock nudge the back of your throat.

“Relax for me,’’ he cooed, fingers brushing across your throat.

It didn’t take him much effort for him to force his cock past your tonsils, beginning to trust once more.

Reaching down, you slipped your hand into the waistband of your bikini bottoms and ghosted your fingers across your clit.

Sighing around Hoseok’s cock, you applied more pressure, making small circles over the bud to provide some relief.

Hoseok pulled out of your mouth muttering something about how he wasn’t gonna last as he helped you up from your position on the ground.

“These gotta go.’’ He pulled on your bottoms, sliding them down your legs.

Hands planted firmly on the wall, Hoseok tapped your hip signalling you to spread your legs.

“Ready for me, baby girl?”

“Yes daddy, please.’’ you mewled, wiggling your ass at him.

“Remember, you have to be quiet.’’

Lining his tip up with your entrance, Hoseok pushed into you in one swift motion, causing you to cry out.

Clamping a hand over your mouth, he pulled your head up so it was resting against his chest.

"Ah ah,'' He shook his head,"what happened to silence, baby? You know the rules, bad girls don't get to cum.''

"I'm sorry, daddy,'' you choked out,'' your cock just fills me up so good, I-''

“What? Can’t seem to follow instructions? If that’s the case you can just suck me off and we’ll go.’’

“No! No, please. I’ll be good.’’ You pleaded, already feeling the tightness winding up in your stomach.

Hoseok had that effect on you. Sex with him was the best you’d ever had. Somehow he just knew your body so well he could play you like a fiddle.

“Fine,’’ he tsked, pulling out to the tip and thrusting back in,’’ but next time I won’t be so kind as to give you a second chance.’’

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the small room, moans intermingling with the sound of water continuing to hit the tile.

True to your word you managed to keep your moans in, tiny gasps being the only sound that escaped you as Hoseok continued to pound into you at a steady pace.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over how sweet your pussy is.’’ Hoseok growled, running his hands across your back and over the swell of your ass.

“Only for you.’’

“Damn straight,’’ He panted, words punctuated by a particularly hard thrust, "So good to me, baby.''

" 'M close.'' You whimpered, letting your head loll backwards against his shoulder.

Hoseok picked up the pace, fucking into you at a brutal rate. His deft fingers reached down to your clit and started rubbing circles over the bundle of nerves much like you had been minutes ago.

It was like you could feel his cock in your throat, he was so deep in you.

"Wanna put a baby in you.'' Hoseok growled, thrusting getting sloppier.

"Do it then. Cum inside of me. Want you to fill me up.’’

"God, Y/N, when you talk like that,’’ Landing a swift smack to your asscheek, he kneaded the supple flesh.

“Oh, fuck,” You bit down on your lip,” I’m gonna cum! Please, daddy.’’

“Let it go, baby.’’

Hoseok continued rubbing small circles on your clit, pushing you over the edge. Stars clouded your vision as your eyes clamped shut, walls clenching around Hoseok’s cock as he continued to pound into your cunt.

“I’m almost there.’’ He moaned, fucking into you with a newfound fervor.

After a few brutal thrusts, he was spilling his load into your cunt, gently rocking his hips to milk himself for everything he had.

“You better keep that in.’’ He panted, pulling his softening cock out.

“I’ll do my best.’’ You rolled your eyes, body feeling the affects of the day.

“I love you, you know that right?” Hoseok mumbled, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips as he let his bodyweight rest against your own.

“I know, why do you think I let you fuck me in the shower of a waterpark?”

“Shits and giggles?” He shrugged.

“You’re an idiot.’’ You laughed, pushing his shoulder.

The two of you stood there for a moment, letting the warmth of the water run over you both.

As you stood there, you began running your hands over the expanse of Hoseok’s back, figuring it would be best to actually wash off the germs from the park water.

“I guess it’s smart to actually wash off.’’ Hoseok leaned up from your shoulder, leaning in for another kiss.

“It’s probably almost time to go eat anyway. I bet the others already left.’’

“Oh, crap!” You exclaimed, swifty pulling your bottoms back on and shutting off the water.

The two of you stumbled out of the shower to your bag.

After drying off and slipping on your actual clothes, you reached for your phone to check the notifications

“We’re gonna be late for dinner!” You cried, frantically shoving all of your stuff into the bag and rushing out the entrance of the waterpark.

Hoseok just moseyed along like there wasn’t a care in the world.

“Why are you being so slow today?”

“It’s funny to watch you get all worked up over pizza.’’ Hoseok said, signature grin plastered on his face.

“I’m hungry.’’ You pouted, reaching for his hand to pull him along.

“What, earlier wasn’t enough?”

“Shut up, you nasty!’’ Smacking his chest you dropped his hand and started walking again.

“I’m just joking. You should see the look on your face.’’ Hoseok was doubled over with laughter.

“The pizza won’t be there forever, hurry up!’’

“Race you?” He offered.

“You’re on.’’

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jellydishes · 3 years

Text

i was tagged by @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold with wip wednesday! tagging @the-temple-of-sacred-asses, @storybookhawke, and @robot-thighs

first up is a piece of Its Just A Jump And A Twist, an ongoing time travel story wherein a post inquisition leliana gets to go back and time to redo origins:

The first time this wheel had turned, a much younger Leliana had found herself weeping in a corner of their temporary camp barricaded behind bookcases. She'd had her hands over her mouth, trying to muffle herself so she wouldn't disturb her companions. It hadn't been the death alone that had twisted her belly up in knots until she had to cry or scream or else would burst with it, but the very act of being in the tower. Of wandering claustrophobic halls choked with blood and fear that had thrust her right back into a different place, a different torture room at the hands of someone who had sworn she would always be there to protect her. A fallen mage just within view through a gap in the barricade looked at her with Tug’s sightless eyes, and Leliana had retched behind her hands.

That was when cool hands had curved over her own, freezing Leliana's roiling thoughts long enough to lift her head and stare until the person crouched before her had resolved itself into Amleda Tabris. Amleda and her hesitant, crooked smile and the warmth of comforting words Leliana could no longer remember. She remember how warm they had felt, though, pushing the earlier chill in her chest back until she could breathe again. Amleda had always done that for her, whenever a chance-caught glimpse of red hair or some combination of words made the whole world shake loose beneath her feet, leaving nothing left but Leliana and old scars. And somehow, that space came to include Amleda, too.

And then it didn't.

Back then, Leliana had obeyed an impulse she couldn't have named at the time, one that moved her to brush her lips across Amleda’s in a soft, hesitant kiss. Had breathed out, once, then she realized. Remembered. And made to pull back and pull away because Amleda wasn't responding. Wasn't moving, wasn't speaking or laughing with her or doing anything but staring wide-eyed, her mouth hanging open. Leliana's hands had come up to wrap around her belly, and that must have been when some lever was finally pulled in Amleda’s brain, because she had lurched forward and brought their mouths crashing together again, and for the first time.

Their first kiss. A brief moment of beauty shared in a place of despair. And she was, the weight of decades pressing her into a floor that knew none of it as she stared at that spot. The ghost of flustered, shared laughter echoed in her ears. She could almost hear the quiet, nearly whispered, “I have enough space on my shoulders to carry one more worry, if you want to let go of it for a little while…”

A noise at her back, boots over loose stone and half-dried blood. Leliana didn't turn away. She should have, but at that moment she felt unbearably weary. Too much time had been lost that could never be regained, no matter what year she was in. Memories of dead women who still stood beside her, looking back and forth between the empty corner and Leliana’s dry eyes. Leliana opened her mouth, then let it fall shut. “Have I ever told you about that warden?” She croaked after several long moments.

“The one who died?” Amleda asked cautiously, and she had every right to, Leliana thought, not without irony.

“The very same. I saw-” Leliana's mouth twisted up at the corner in a poor imitation of a smile, or a laugh that never came. “Certain things remind me of her,” she said instead. “Sounds. Places. It is all too easy to…”

She'd almost said remember, but thankfully Amleda finished, “Imagine what happened? I know how that goes. Dangerous snare to go sticking your hand into, believe me. Start off trying to imagine what it had been like for them, if you could have stopped it somehow, and then it's fourteen years later and you've wasted more than half of your life trying to relive one day.”

Leliana’s throat tightened. Amleda was talking about her mother, Adaia Tabris. Adaia. Leliana was caught once again by another memory, this time of a red stripe etched across glittering eyes and down the angles of her cheeks, a hoarse, laughing voice promising to tell her children's children of what Leliana had done for her this night. A warm hand clasped around her wrist, in the way of warriors, and then she had been gone.

Leliana had never known if Adaia had kept that promise. Back when Amleda had been alive to ask, it had seemed too… self-serving to ask, as if she were trying to insert herself into a life that didn't need one more presumptive human, and then it had been too late.

Leliana closed her eyes, then opened them. “And, what do you do then?” She asked. Her voice wobbled traitorously, and she hated it in that moment. “When you've wasted your entire life looking backwards?”

Somehow, Amleda’s hand had found its way into Leliana’s gloved one, and there it stayed. Neither curling her closer or pulling away, and gradually Leliana relaxed. “You breathe,” was Amleda's quiet answer. “You get up and you breathe and you put one foot in front of the other until you can't do it anymore, and then you do it some more.”

“What if I can't? What if it stays with me all the days of my life?”

“Then you live for them, too. Get up and breathe and put one foot in front of the other, and if you can punch a pissant or four on your way down, then that's what has to happen. I certainly won't shed a tear.”

“How do you know?” Leliana was laughing all the same, and rugged free a questionable handkerchief to scrub at her eyes so she wouldn't have to look Amleda in the eyes.

“Because it's me,” Amleda said, and Leliana’s heart froze. “I carry my mother with me, the same way I carry Neleros and everyone who's come and gone from my life. Same way you do. We all carry our burdens. Mine just feel like an obligation. How about you?”

Leliana swallowed hard. In that moment, she wished for nothing more than a release from this conversation. “I hide,” she said in a voice that was so strained that it emerged as a rasp. “I seal the memories away in a box and bury it where no one, not even myself, will ever find it.”

A silence ensued. Amleda’s hand still curled loosely in her own, and Leliana couldn't bring herself to move for fear of Amleda pulling away, or turning into dust. Of none of this having been anything but the cruelest joke since the beginning. “I thought you said you were a storyteller.”

“I am.” Despite herself, Leliana turned a curious expression on Amleda, which was a mistake. Amleda was tired, streaked with soot and fluids best not thought on, but her eyes were fixed on Leliana, and she couldn't look away.

“Storytellers don't bury uncomfortable truths, do they? They remember the hard ones, too, the ones with barbs that rip and tear and hurt because sometimes hurt is what people need to realize they are still alive and able to fight and laugh and live. Battle cries from everyone who isn't alive to do it themselves. That's you. You wage war on their behalf, and you can't do that if you're too busy choking from swallowing your own secrets.”

Leliana stared at her until Amleda’s beautiful brown skin blurred in front of her. She let out a small, unwilling sound when Amleda wiped her tears away, and stood up on her tiptoes to kiss the corner of Leliana’s mouth. “Stick with me, we’ll get you remembering sunshine again,” Amleda promised. “That's what we do, right? We’re the heroes of this operation.”

second up is a bit of a thing for tma where gerry gets to meet his dad via even more time travel fuckery:

Gerry eased out a breath and drew in another that shook and rasped on the way down. "Look," he started to say, stopped, then tried again. "I'm not going to say that any of this bullshit equals out on some great cosmic abacus in the sky, but someone like you should have the chance to know that what you did mattered. And I don't know if I'm the one to do that. I never had the chance to know you."

Eric was quiet for several moments. "But you know yourself, right? You had the chance to learn who you are and who you wanted to be. That's what I want. Wanted, I guess."

"You're not listening." Something small and sharp and raw dug between his ribs and made his voice come out sounding odd to his own ears. He didn't know why he had this urge to make Eric understand, but he did. "I don't know if it was worth it. What's the point if small and petty people like her win and people like you lose?"

"You mean like us. But… you don't sound small and petty to me. You sound like someone who struggled and kept struggling but didn't stop trying, anyway. Hard to call a heart like that small." Eric fell silent again, his brow furrowing in thought. Then he added slowly, "I let her win, because I couldn't stop loving her. Seems like you beat me on both those counts."

#Dragon Age #The Magnus Archives #wip wednesday #sometimes i write

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mykingdomforasong · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @capdjarin

My AO3

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

208,158 (Do you think a depressed person could make this? No)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on AO3: 2 - Percy Jackson and Star Wars (just lumping all of Star Wars in here)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

More Light Than Heat (Din/Luke rated E, complete)

Flyboy (Din/Luke E) (this one is still baffling to me)

Be (Din/Luke E)

At A Glance (Will Solace/Nico Di Angelo T) (this is very old, please do not read it)

Love Me In the Dark (Din/Luke T)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Sometimes. Usually just to thank someone for a particularly kind or thoughtful comment, or to respond to something.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

The House of Hades ending rewrite that I did called "The Doors of Death." It is the only fic I have with the "major character death" warning. I don't tend to do angst though.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

nope

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really. I've gotten one angry comment about not updating Once Upon a Pointe (which, let me tell you, did not encourage me to update), and one comment that told me they wouldn't keep reading More Light Than Heat because they didn't like how I depicted the relationship between Anakin and the Clones. Which, like, fine to each their own, but I don't know why you had to let me know about it.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

lmao yeah. Not sure exactly what "what kind" means here. Lots of m/m stuff, fairly vanilla.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, but people did use to steal my old Tumblr posts and put them on Instagram and pintrest.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Flyboy has been translated into Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope

What’s your all time favorite ship?

It's Percabeth and probably always will be. I will be on my deathbed, and still be thinking about "I'm never going to make this easy for you, Seaweed Brain, get use to it."

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Once Upon A Pointe. I started re reading it the other day, and realized that I want to basically rewrite the entire thing before moving onto the next chapter, because I just don't think the writing is that good. So that update might be a while.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and creativity. I do think that I come up with some really good ideas for stories. I think I can also be good at editing when I really force myself to do it (like force myself to make cuts to things, or fix scenes). If I had decided to use my creative writing degree for something other than Star Wars porn, I probably would have made a better literary editor than actual writer.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Grammar and spelling because of the dyslexia. But also descriptions, especially during smut scenes; I struggle with describing both the physical and emotional sensations of the moment. I'm working on it though. I also feel like I struggle with characterization, particularly in Star Wars. I tend to make the characters way too soft (which I do prefer to the alternative that some other writers have come up with). I feel like Han and Din in particular are just ... never in character.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

For non-Earth languages like Mando'a - If the pov character doesn't speak the language being spoken (a la Luke hearing Mando'a in MLTH), then I'm fine with the language being there. But if the pov character speaks the language, please just write the dialogue in the language the fic is in. Do not have huge blocks of text of Din and Boba speaking Mando'a and leave the translations in the notes.

I do feel differently about this if it is a real human language. Like if you want to include dialogue in Spanish, for example, it might still frustrate me as a non-Spanish speaker, but I will eventually remember that I am not the center of the universe.

But if it's a fake space language, just put it in English or translate it in the text if the POV character understands what is being said.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

There was one fandom before Percy Jackson, but you have to be a level 30 friend to know what that was.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably More Light Than Heat, just because I've never finished something like that before. It's for sure the one I'm most proud of. But I do think Illusions of Someday and Painted Blind are underrated

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isabellehemlock · 3 years

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Creator Tag Meme

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by @tobebbanburg (thank you babe!)

Funnily enough, I only have six works listed on my Ao3 so lol, it wasn’t too hard to pick!! I chose my top five (and then listed them in the order of amount of views from most viewed to least viewed). I did do two for the Old Guard Gift Exchange Event (but they won’t be live till after Christmas), and I got two WIP’s that I can’t wait to share as well!

BUT for the ones with links - here ya go!

The Purpose of Art - an Old Guard AU [ link ] Rated M. Multi chapter fic.

My most popular fic and I honestly love that my very first AU turned out to be received so well. It had started as this social justice, art restoration project - and it evolved into this gigantic exploration of inter personal relationships. It covers such topics as familial loss (and found family), recovery from addiction, interfaith relationships, xenophobia, sexual orientation, and more. But I really felt that in a way it tied into the social justice piece I was trying to convey from the beginning. Because as I wrote in the final author commentary of the last chapter, “When we realize the kindness we are all capable of, when we choose it everyday, it bleeds into our relationships, and into the spaces around us. We help people feel seen, heard, and loved, and that alone can help move mountains and cross barriers in a way we could have never imagined before.”

Cleanse - a post-canon JoexNicky fic [ link ] Rated E. Multi chapter fic.

My second most popular fic was the third one I had ever written! I really wanted to explore the concept of what happened after the movie, and just the amazing history of Joe and Nicky through a millennia together. It is angsty, and is a lot of hurt/comfort, because I imagine one of them having a harder time with Merrick’s experiments versus the other, and they are trying to help each other recover. Each chapter includes flashbacks as they take a road trip to the place that means the most to them, and along the way we see how much they have overcome as well as just why they’re perfect for one another. I’m glad it resonated with people so much :)

Crimson Moon - a JoexNicky AU [ link ] Rated E (plus). Multi chapter fic.

This one was based on some incredible fandom art (link in the story!), of Joe as a werewolf, and Nicky as a vampire - and my brain went from there! It started at the beginning of October, and just finished a week ago! I had originally planned to basically write Halloween kink porn lol. But I seem incapable of anything but “porn with feelings” haha. So it ended up being double as long, and somehow the lore of the creatures ended up being quite interwoven throughout. There’s also some BookerxNile ;) I don’t want to spoil things - but basically, it’s explicit plus for a reason, but there’s a lot of feelingssssss, too.

The Bet - a pre-canon JoexNicky fic [ link ] Rated E (plus). One Shot.

This was my “I joined the Top!Joe discord - I love them already - I’m going to write them a fic”. I asked for prompts, and somehow used each and every suggestion in one long like 18k fic. Make sure to read the tags!! But yes, I loved the idea of reexploring pre canon Joe x Nicky from a different perspective - and if you liked this one, there’s another discord “gift” coming in a few days ;)

The Little Church - pre-canon JoexNicky fic [ link ] Rated T. One Shot.

My least viewed fic, and yet, I loved this one. It’s so adorable and sweet and completely unlike any of the ones above. It’s all about how I would like to view Joe and Nicky respecting each other’s faith, and finding a way to have their own little church in their home. Who knows of course if the canon characters even are religious anymore, but if they are, I’d like to believe they’d be like this - supportive and embracing each other <3

Okay, I’m starting to run out of people to tag lol . . . @meet-the-girl-who-can, @odyssxus, @dracosollicitus

#tag game #tagging game #tog tag game #tog tagging game #tog fic writer #fic writer #Ao3 #ao3 fic writer #ao3 au fic #tog fandom

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complicatedandstained · 4 years

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Not sure if you're doing the fanfic writer Friday, so no pressure, but I wanted to do my ask back. What inspired your different WIPs/ how did you come up with the ideas?

Aw thank you <3 I am always ready to talk about my WIPs.

Indulge Me

Akurokusai has been taking up space in the back of my noggin since I saw a piece of modern AU-ish fanart about it like a year ago. I was like the embodiment of the “Is this allowed?” meme. More recently, I’ve wanted to have soriku in my Hot Topic fic since I first started writing it, (I took them out of the tags since I haven’t gotten there yet still and felt like a liar, but you know, they will be eventually), and then I was entertaining the idea of having sorikai instead. But I had to stop and ask myself if sorikai, why not akurokusai? But akurokusai feels incredibly out of character for the Hot Topic fic, so I started thinking about a situation in which akurokusai would work for me.

I decided that it would have to start with both Roxas and Isa separately dating Axel, because they understand how much the other means to him. They grow to mutually respect each other and gradually become friends and eventually have spent so much time together that they are completely at home to the point where Axel would walk in to find Roxas platonically cuddled up on Isa’s lap on the couch watching TV and not bat an eye. And eventually one day they would just realize that--oh--they were also in love. (And of course Axel would find this all incredibly sexy, because it’s Axel.) Anyway, shaky and your Grass is Greener fics and art (and writing Every Rose) brought the idea back into my head and my brain would not quit with the ‘platonic’ couch cuddling, but I also wanted to try to write smut again, so I started this. But instead I ended up trying to depict this whole triad relationship that I had in my head, which kind of morphed into this fic, although it’s maybe not as drawn out and romantic as in my head, because I’m trying not to start any more epic novel WIPs atm.

Rules of Engagement

With my full time job now, I’m trying to do more short fics that I can finish (you know, hypothetically) and I wanted to try to do at least one of the Akuroku Week prompts, so I picked ‘wedding,’ because I loved the idea of (SPOILERS) Axel explaining to Roxas what a wedding is and Roxas in essence responding to all the different details with ‘so, we’ve been married for a while then? Because we’ve already done all that.’

And I had Post-KH3 on the brain because I was oscillating between wanting to write a dark or mild fic about the recompleted Org members moving to Radiant Garden to try and restart their lives (in the dark fic, after being put on trial with some kind of truth serum for their crimes against the universe which causes drama and mistrust and imprisonment and such). Anyway, I decided the lighter version with the Sponsors of Light would fit better for this prompt. The idea for the Sponsors of Light just, I guess, because I think having a supportive sponsor seemed like it would be a really effective healing technique IRL. Axel has a forge because I saw a man make a nail in a forge once in middle school at the local Maple Syrup Festival and never stopped thinking about how bad ass it was. And… Yeah, I think that’s all I’ve got on this one.

The Poker Night That Never Was

Inspired by Luxord’s line in Days about losing half the poker league when the Castle Oblivion squad is sent off, and inspired by my love of all things pirates and the countless pirate books I have read in my life, most recently Treasure Island.

Somebodies

Before KH3 came out, I made it my mission to try and catch up on KH after like, years and years, so I played games and watched them on YouTube, *but* there was this empty void of Axel and Saix and the other former Radiant Garden resident Org members’ backstories. And I had read that Nobodies don’t age, which would mean that Axel and Saix were in their upper teens/early twenties when they became Nobodies, so I made up an elaborate backstory in my head about their life and relationship in Radiant Garden and how they get mixed up with the heart experiments and became Nobodies. If I didn’t know something or forgot something, I just made it up for myself. I had been reading a lot of KH fanfiction at that point and decided to try writing one for myself about all the Radiant Garden headcanons brewing in my head.

The Other Day at Hot Topic

I think I was just scrolling through tumblr thinking about how much I love seeing the Org members dressed like Hot Topic models, and about how perfect their piercings and wild hair colors would fit. I started writing a quick post about the Kingdom Hearts characters working at the mall, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how well Roxas starting a job at Hot Topic could parallel him starting to work for the Organization, and I loved thinking about how all the other characters would translate over into the modern AU, and I was working at Old Navy at the time so retail was fresh on my mind, and before I knew it I was writing fic scenes instead of a quick post and I had a zillion ideas in my head.

@snowflake-of-destruction

#fic writer friday #akuroku #akusai #leaisa #kingdom hearts #asks #my writing #snowflake of destruction #soriku #sorikai #axel #roxas #saix #isa #somebodies #the other day at hot topic #the poker night that never was #rules of engagement #indulge me

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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March 15: Thoughts on Fandom

Not feeling too well this evening but hopefully a good night's sleep will make me feel better and tomorrow will be low key and chill. And my hot water will be fixed successfully.

I was thinking today about how I've felt for a long time that I'm 'between fandoms' even though technically, literally, I'm not. I continue to write and read for The 100 but I don't entirely feel like I'm in the fandom. Sometimes I think I should just leave officially, but then I think--but to go where? And "Star Trek" seems both an obvious and an incorrect answer. It's like I'm not truly invested anywhere, but in a sort of limbo-like space.

Anyway, so I broke it down like this.

I want 3 three things from "fandom," broadly speaking:

1. To engage with media that I really love.

Examples: waiting for new installments (for ongoing media); rewatching or rereading; obsessing over how great the characters or stories are, dissecting plot lines and themes.

2. To engage with a fan community that also loves the media I love.

Examples: reading fanfiction; reading meta; engaging in online discussions; reading other people's excited posts; following blogs relating to the media in question; reblogging gifsets/graphics/fan art

3. To engage creatively with the source material through transformative works.

Example: writing fanfiction.

Ideally, I'd have one piece of media that fulfills all of these purposes. That was T100 for me for a while. But then I stopped watching the show in late S4, and got farther and farther away from the 'current' fandom. And then the show ended, and on such a sour note, so that the fandom itself, the fan community, started changing. And at the same time, I started getting seriously back into Star Trek again.

So now I'm in this place, where I'm still at least kind of engaged in all three aspects of the fandom experience, but not in a unified way.

Star Trek is fulfilling the first purpose of fandom for me, right now. I'm loving rewatching TOS, and the AOS movies too, and I just have a lot of Emotions about the characters and universe. It's that good kinda excitement that a show (or book or movie or whatever) that you really love always gives. Like--ahh!!! I cannot feel anything else but just happiness because I love this so much!

BUT I'm not engaging with ST in either the second or third sense of fandom. I follow a couple ST blogs but there aren't many truly active TOS/AOS centric blogs out there right now. I don't read any ST fanfic because, well, first of all I never really did, and second, I'm far enough behind on my T100 fic! And I have rl people like my mom and B to talk about it with, but not really anyone on tumblr or wherever who's into it like I am.

And though I've vaguely plotted and poked at some fic ideas, I haven't done any real ST writing in a long time--again because I have ideas for T100 that I need/want to get to first, and I'm not writing so much anyway now in general.

On the other hand, T100 is definitely NOT fulfilling function (1) for me and hasn't in a long time. When I stopped watching the show, I still engaged with the canon a little. I watched other people get excited or debate or discuss. I noticed the patterns of fandom as the show went into and out of hiatus. Plus, I still enjoyed the early seasons and liked early-canon and canon-divergent fics (reading and planning/writing). But even that is largely fading for me. I've been trying to rewatch the show but it's not really doing anything for me... I have a hard time getting into it. The canon-divergent fics I'm writing for the collab are not interesting me in the least, either.

I realized today that most of my fic ideas, or at least most of the fic ideas I really care about in any way, are so far removed from the canon they might as well be original fiction with some familiar names thrown in. The one exception is the Ark AU, but everything else is some form of extreme AU, modern or otherwise. I don't even know that the characters make me feel much of anything anymore. I've been toying with how to explain this for a while but... I feel like both for me personally and the fandom as I perceive it, the characters are more like a shared vocabulary, rather than actual characters from a source material we all love. I think this is partially because the fandom is old enough now to have some very long standing shared headcanons, and either small enough or bifurcated enough for fanwork creators to influence each other more than the canon influences them, and partly because the show ending on a sour note for most viewers has left the people who remain in the fandom with a sense that these characters are OURS and that the value of them is in how we collectively decide to use them now, rather than in how they are tied to the universally derided source material.

I'm not saying any of this is BAD, I'm just saying, that's how it is now, from my perspective.

I'm sort of engaging with the fan community (2) through T100, but... it's a little weird. I have people I legitimately like and enjoy talking to on tumblr who I know through T100 and of course there are events like Troped that I really love. I have a ton of cool fic bookmarked too and I'm getting back into reading it. But my dash has a lot less T100 content than it used to and sometimes I'll find myself j-ing very fast through it because I'm just not in the mood. I know a lot of people are either semi-disengaging, like I am, or wholesale moving on to other things. So it's like... the community straggles on, but it's uncertain at best.

And as far as engaging creatively (3)--to the extent that I write or plan fic it's almost all T100. But I haven't... I haven't been finding it easy to write. In general. This is a little hard to explain but.. when I think "I need to leave T100 fandom and really force myself to go somewhere else" it's usually because I feel like I'm not really getting what I need creatively out of the fandom. I like a lot of my wips and unstarted ideas, in theory at least, but the closer I look at some of them the more... herculean the task of actually writing them starts to seem. And tbh I rarely just... tell myself little stories about these characters or within these potential-fic scenarios. Like in all my idle, free thought time--when I'm washing dishes or taking a walk or a shower or going to sleep, when I want to think about something nice and fictional and not let the worries in... when I'm really engaged with a fandom, I'll imagine little scenes and tell myself little stories during these times. Sometimes they're scenes I want to eventually make into or include in a fic. Other times they're not. But they're still an extension of my creative life.

And I haven't really done that for T100 in a while. Sometimes I imagine Star Trek scenarios. Sometimes I retreat into highly silly comfort scenarios with original characters. But I only think about T100 when I specifically need to brainstorm for a fic. And that makes the fic feel more like work. And that makes me want to do it less.

So... I'm not sure what that will mean for me getting back into my projects when I finally (FINALLY) finish the last of my obligations. Maybe when I feel like I can actually make progress on old wips or ideas I care about, I'll get more invested in them. I was pretty damn invested in Mountain Lion Mean and that wasn't that long ago, so it is still possible. But overall, T100 definitely doesn't have, and probably never will have again, a total monopoly on my brain the way it did c.2016.

Which is fine. Like... it's more than fine. I've been here a while. What I'm trying to articulate to myself with all this is that the dissatisfaction I feel with my fandom life is probably stemming from the lack of one, coherent obsession. I have stuff to read, stuff to write, stuff to think about, stuff to talk about, and even a small fandom community of people I like--so what's the problem, right?? It's because it's not all coming from the same piece of media and that's not as clear and coherent and nice for me.

Plus, it makes writing more difficult when I do want to write these particular ideas, but I'm only motivated by own desire to see the ideas realized, not my genuine love for the characters and the material from which they derive. There's a certain energy that fannish activity has... but T100 fic barely feels like a fannish activity to me rn. Just another type of work. It's a work I'm invested in...but I just so often don't have it in me to WORK at all, is the thing.

So that's the biggest annoyance about it. I haven't really experienced this before so even though this situation has been forming for a while, I still don't really know what to do with it.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #honestly i'm really proud of myself for articulating all of this #fandom

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