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aioustudio9 · 1 year ago
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Matric Solved Assignments Spring 2024: Free Solutions by Aiou Studio9
Are you a Matric student looking for free solved assignments for the semester Spring 2024? Look no further! We are offering Matric free solved assignments for Spring 2024 using Aiou Studio 9. Free Solved Assignments for Matric Spring 2024 Semester! We are committed to supporting students in their academic journey by providing comprehensive solutions to their assignment problems. Our team of…
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akkivee · 2 years ago
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YALL CANNOT KEEP DOING NEMU LIKE THIS
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pradumnpaswan · 10 months ago
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BHIC 133 Solved Assignment In Hindi Free 2024-2025
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निम्नलिखित वर्णनात्मक श्रेणी प्रश्नों के उत्तर लगभग 500 शब्दों (प्रत्येक ) में दीजिए । प्रत्येक प्रश्न 20 अंकों का है।
Q 1. मध्यकाल के ऐतिहासिक स्रोत के रूप में राजनीतिक वृत्तांत के महत्व पर चर्चा
मध्यकालीन भारत का इतिहास समझने के लिए राजनीतिक वृत्तांत एक महत्वपूर्ण स्रोत के रूप में माने जाते हैं। इन वृत्तांतों में राजा-महाराजाओं, सेनाओं, युद्धों, संधियों, और प्रशासनिक गतिविधियों का वर्णन मिलता है। ये राजनीतिक वृत्तांत न केवल ऐतिहासिक घटनाओं का विवरण प्रदान करते हैं, बल्कि उस समय की सामाजिक, आर्थिक और सांस्कृतिक स्थितियों का भी एक झलक देते हैं।
1. ऐतिहासिक घटनाओं का सटीक विवरण
मध्यकालीन भारत के राजनीतिक वृत्तांतों में विभिन्न राजवंशों के उदय और पतन, युद्ध और विजय, और राजनीतिक घटनाओं का वर्णन मिलता है। उदाहरण के लिए, तारीख-ए-फिरोजशाही, तारीख-ए-यामिनी, और तारीख-ए-फरिश्ता जैसे ग्रंथ उस समय की प्रमुख घटनाओं का सजीव वर्णन करते हैं। इन वृत्तांतों से हमें तत्कालीन राजाओं और उनके शासनकाल के बारे में विस्तृत जानकारी मिलती है।
2. प्रशासनिक व्यवस्था का विवरण
राजनीतिक वृत्तांतों में प्रशासनिक व्यवस्था, कर-व्यवस्था, और न्यायिक प्रणाली का भी वर्णन मिलता है। इल्तुतमिश, अलाउद्दीन खिलजी और अकबर के शासनकाल के राजनीतिक वृत्तांतों में उनके द्वारा किए गए प्रशासनिक सुधारों और नई नीतियों का विस्तृत विवरण मिलता है। इससे हमें यह समझने में मदद मिलती है कि किस प्रकार से उस समय के शासक अपने राज्य को सुचारू रूप से चलाने के लिए नीतियाँ बनाते थे।
3. सामाजिक और सांस्कृतिक संदर्भ
राजनीतिक वृत्तांतों में उस समय के समाज और संस्कृति का भी परोक्ष रूप से वर्णन मिलता है। शासकों द्वारा अपनाई गई नीतियाँ और उनके द्वारा लागू किए गए कानून, उस समय के समाज की संरचना और संस्कृति पर गहरा प्रभाव डालते थे। उदाहरण के लिए, अकबर के धार्मिक सहिष्णुता के सिद्धांत और दीन-ए-इलाही की स्थापना से उस समय की धार्मिक और सांस्कृतिक स्थिति का पता चलता है।
4. विदेशी यात्रियों और उनके वृत्तांतों का योगदान
मध्यकालीन भारत के इतिहास को समझने के लिए विदेशी यात्रियों के वृत्तांत भी महत्वपूर्ण हैं। इब्न बतूता, अल-बिरूनी, और मार्को पोलो जैसे विदेशी यात्रियों के वृत्तांतों में भारत की राजनीतिक स्थिति का वर्णन मिलता है। ये वृत्तांत न केवल राजनीतिक घटनाओं का विवरण देते हैं, बल्कि भारत के समाज, धर्म और आर्थिक स्थिति का भी विस्तृत विवरण प्रदान करते हैं।
5. आलोचनात्मक दृष्टिकोण की आवश्यकता
हालांकि राजनीतिक वृत्तांत महत्वपूर्ण हैं, लेकिन इन्हें आलोचनात्मक दृष्टिकोण से देखना भी जरूरी है। इनमें अक्सर शासकों की उपलब्धियों को बढ़ा-चढ़ाकर प्रस्तुत किया जाता है और उनकी विफलताओं को छुपाया जाता है। इसलिए, इन वृत्तांतों का उपयोग करते समय हमें विभिन्न स्रोतों की तुलना करनी चाहिए और उनकी विश्वसनीयता का मूल्यांकन करना चाहिए।
निष्कर्ष
मध्यकालीन भारत के राजनीतिक वृत्तांत इतिहास के अध्ययन के लिए एक महत्वपूर्ण स्रोत हैं। ये हमें उस समय की राजनीतिक, सामाजिक और सांस्कृतिक स्थिति का गहरा ज्ञान प्रदान करते हैं। हालांकि, इनका उपयोग करते समय सावधानी और आलोचनात्मक दृष्टिकोण अपनाना आवश्यक है ताकि इतिहास को सही परिप्रेक्ष्य में समझा जा सके।
Q 2. अकबर के समय में मुगल-राजपूत संबंधों का परीक्षण
अकबर के शासनकाल (1556-1605) में मुगल-राजपूत संबंधों का महत्वपूर्ण स्थान रहा है। अकबर ने मुगल साम्राज्य को स्थिर और मजबूत बनाने के लिए राजपूतों के साथ न केवल मित्रवत संबंध स्थापित किए, बल्कि उन्हें अपनी सत्ता में शामिल करके साम्राज्य की सीमाओं को भी विस्तारित किया। यह कदम न केवल अकबर की राजनीतिक कुशलता को दर्शाता है, बल्कि उसकी धार्मिक सहिष्णुता और प्रशासनिक दूरदर्शिता को भी उजागर करता है।
1. विवाह संबंधों के माध्यम से गठबंधन
अकबर ने राजपूतों के साथ वैवाहिक संबंधों के माध्यम से मित्रता स्थापित की। उसने 1562 में आमेर के राजा भारमल की बेटी जोधाबाई (मरियम-उज़-ज़मानी) से विवाह किया। यह विवाह अकबर और राजपूतों के बीच संबंधों की शुरुआत थी, जिसने आने वाले समय में मजबूत राजनीतिक गठबंधनों का मार्ग प्रशस्त किया। इसके बाद, कई अन्य राजपूत शासकों ने भी अपनी बेटियों का विवाह मुगल शहजादों से किया, जिससे उनके संबंध और भी गहरे हो गए।
2. राजनीतिक और सैन्य सहयोग
अकबर ने राजपूत शासकों को अपने साम्राज्य का अभिन्न हिस्सा बनाया। उन्होंने राजपूतों को मुगल दरबार में उच्च पदों पर नियुक्त किया और उन्हें मुगल प्रशासन में महत्वपूर्ण भूमिकाएँ सौंपी। राजा मान सिंह, जो अकबर के सबसे विश्वासपात्र सेनापतियों में से एक थे, इसका एक प्रमुख उदाहरण हैं। उन्होंने कई महत्वपूर्ण सैन्य अभियानों में मुगलों का नेतृत्व किया और अपनी वीरता के लिए जाने गए।
अकबर ने राजपूतों के सैन्य कौशल का भी पूरा लाभ उठाया। राजपूत सेनाओं को मुगल सेना में शामिल करके उन्होंने अपने सैन्य बल को मजबूत किया। इस सहयोग ने न केवल मुगल साम्राज्य को विस्तार करने में मदद की, बल्कि अकबर को विद्रोहियों और बाहरी आक्रमणकारियों के खिलाफ भी सुरक्षा प्रदान की।
3. धार्मिक सहिष्णुता और सांस्कृतिक समन्वय
अकबर की धार्मिक सहिष्णुता ने भी मुगल-राजपूत संबंधों को मजबूत करने में महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निभाई। उसने राजपूतों की धार्मिक स्वतंत्रता का सम्मान किया और उनके धार्मिक स्थलों को संरक्षण प्रदान किया। अकबर ने "दीन-ए-इलाही" नामक एक नए धर्म की स्थापना की, जो विभिन्न धर्मों के तत्वों का समन्वय था। हालाँकि इस धर्म को व्यापक समर्थन नहीं मिला, लेकिन यह अकबर की धार्मिक सहिष्णुता और विभिन्न धर्मों के प्रति उसके सम्मान को दर्शाता है।
4. राजपूतों की स्वतंत्रता और सम्मान का संरक्षण
अकबर ने राजपूतों की स्वतंत्रता और उनके सम्मान का भी विशेष ध्यान रखा। उसने राजपूतों को उनके राज्य की स्वतंत्रता बरकरार रखने की अनुमति दी और उनके साथ समान व्यवहार किया। राजपूत शासकों को अपने-अपने क्षेत्रों में स्वतंत्र रूप से शासन करने की छूट थी, बशर्ते वे मुगल सम्राट के प्रति निष्ठावान रहें। यह कदम राजपूतों के लिए आकर्षक था, क्योंकि इससे उन्हें मुगल साम्राज्य की सुरक्षा प्राप्त होती थी, जबकि उनकी स्वायत्तता भी बनी रहती थी।
5. विद्रोह और तनावपूर्ण संबंध
हालाँकि अधिकांश राजपूत शासकों ने अकबर के साथ सहयोग किया, लेकिन कुछ ने उसका विरोध भी किया। मेवाड़ के राणा प्रताप ने अकबर की अधीनता स्वीकार करने से इनकार कर दिया और मुगलों के खिलाफ संघर्ष जारी रखा। हल्दीघाटी का युद्ध (1576) इस संघर्ष का एक महत्वपूर्ण उदाहरण है। हालांकि राणा प्रताप को इस युद्ध में हार का सामना करना पड़ा, लेकिन उन्होंने कभी भी अकबर के समक्ष आत्मसमर्पण नहीं किया। यह संघर्ष यह दर्शाता है कि अकबर और राजपूतों के बीच संबंध हमेशा सौहार्दपूर्ण नहीं थे, और कुछ राजपूत शासकों ने अपनी स्वतंत्रता को बनाए रखने के लिए संघर्ष किया।
निष्कर्ष
अकबर के शासनकाल में मुगल-राजपूत संबंधों ने भारतीय इतिहास में एक नया मोड़ दिया। इन संबंधों ने न केवल मुगल साम्राज्य को स्थिरता और विस्तार प्रदान किया, बल्कि भारत की सांस्कृतिक और धार्मिक विविधता को भी समृद्ध किया। अकबर की राजनीतिक कुशलता और धार्मिक सहिष्णुता ने राजपूतों के साथ उसके संबंधों को मजबूती प्रदान की, जिससे दोनों पक्षों को लाभ हुआ। हालाँकि कुछ राजपूत शासकों ने मुगलों का विरोध किया, लेकिन अधिकांश ने अकबर की सत्ता को स्वीकार कर लिया और उसके साथ सहयोग किया, जिससे मुगल साम्राज्य भारतीय उपमहाद्वीप में एक शक्ति��ाली साम्राज्य बन सका।
निम्नलिखित मध्यम श्रेणी प्रश्नों के उत्तर लगभग 250 शब्दों (प्रत्येक ) में दीजिए । प्रत्येक प्रश्न 10 अंकों का है ।
Q 3. अकबर के अधीन भूमि राजस्व प्रणाली का मूल्यांकन
अकबर के शासनकाल में भूमि राजस्व प्रणाली का एक महत्वपूर्ण सुधार किया गया, जिसे "जमीनदारी" या "टोडरमल बंदोबस्त" के नाम से जाना जाता है। यह प्रणाली अकबर के वित्त मंत्री राजा टोडरमल द्वारा विकसित की गई थी और इसे भारत में कृषि अर्थव्यवस्था को स्थिर और संगठित करने के उद्देश्य से लागू किया गया था।
1. माप और वर्गीकरण
इस प्रणाली के तहत, सबसे पहले भूमि का सर्वेक्षण और मापन किया गया। भूमि को उपज के आधार पर तीन श्रेणियों में वर्गीकृत किया गया: अच्छी, मध्यम, और खराब भूमि। इस वर्गीकरण के आधार पर ही किसानों से राजस्व की दर तय की गई। भूमि की उपज और संभावित उत्पादन के अनुसार राजस्व निर्धारित किया जाता था, जिसे "खरज" कहा जाता था।
2. बंधाई और फसल मूल्यांकन
अकबर की राजस्व प्रणाली में फसलों के आधार पर भी राजस्व तय किया जाता था। तीन साल की औसत उपज के आधार पर राजस्व दरें तय की जाती थीं। किसानों को राजस्व नकद या फसल के रूप में भुगतान करना पड़ता था। यह प्रणाली किसानों के लिए अधिक पारदर्शी और स्थिर थी, जिससे उन्हें राहत मिली।
3. प्रशासनिक संरचना
राजस्व संग्रह की प्रक्रिया को सुनिश्चित करने के लिए एक संगठित प्रशासनिक ढांचे का निर्माण किया गया था। परगना और सरदार स्तर पर अधिकारी नियुक्त किए गए थे, जो किसानों से राजस्व संग्रह करते थे और इसे राज्य के खजाने में जमा करते थे।
4. किसानों की स्थिति
इस प्रणाली का एक बड़ा लाभ यह था कि किसानों की आर्थिक स्थिति को ध्यान में रखकर राजस्व निर्धारित किया गया। इससे किसानों को भारी करों के बोझ से राहत मिली और उनकी उत्पादकता बढ़ी। हालांकि, कुछ क्षेत्रों में अधिकारियों द्वारा दुरुपयोग की शिकायतें भी आईं, लेकिन कुल मिलाकर इस प्रणाली ने मुगल साम्राज्य की आर्थिक स्थिति को मजबूत किया।
निष्कर्ष
अकबर की भूमि राजस्व प्रणाली ने भारतीय कृषि अर्थव्यवस्था में एक महत्वपूर्ण सुधार किया। यह प्रणाली न केवल राजस्व संग्रह को सुव्यवस्थित और न्यायसंगत बनाने में सफल रही, बल्कि किसानों की आर्थिक स्थिति को भी बेहतर बनाने में सहायक सिद्ध हुई। हालांकि, इसे पूरी तरह से दोषरहित नहीं कहा जा सकता, लेकिन इसकी कुशलता और समावेशी दृष्टिकोण के कारण इसे अकबर के शासनकाल की एक महत्वपूर्ण उपलब्धि माना जाता है।
Q 4. असम में अहोम राज्य के उदय पर टिप्पणी
असम में अहोम राज्य का उदय 13वीं शताब्दी में हुआ, जब अहोम लोगों का एक समूह दक्षिण-पूर्व एशिया के म्यांमार (तत्कालीन बर्मा) क्षेत्र से असम की घाटी में प्रवास किया। 1228 ईस्वी में, उनके नेता सुकफा ने ब्रह्मपुत्र घाटी में अहोम साम्राज्य की स्थापना की, जो लगभग 600 वर्षों तक असम का प्रमुख राज्य बना रहा।
1. प्रारंभिक स्थापना और विस्तार
सुकफा ने स्थानीय जनजातियों, विशेषकर बोडो और अन्य तिब्बती-बर्मन जनजातियों के साथ संधियाँ करके और सैन्य शक्ति का प्रयोग करके अपने राज्य की नींव रखी। उन्होंने अपनी शक्ति को बढ़ाने के लिए स्थानीय समुदायों के साथ गठबंधन किया और उन्हें अहोम समाज में एकीकृत किया। इस प्रक्रिया में, उन्होंने एक संगठित राज्य की स्थापना की, जिसमें एक मजबूत प्रशासनिक ढांचा विकसित किया गया।
2. प्रशासनिक संरचना
अहोम राज्य की प्रशासनिक संरचना काफी विकसित थी। राजा के नेतृत्व में, राज्य का प्रशासन "पटिक" और "डोलोई" जैसे अधिकारियों द्वारा चलाया जाता था। राज्य को विभिन्न प्रशासनिक इकाइयों में विभाजित किया गया, और कर-संग्रह, सैन्य संगठन, और न्यायपालिका के लिए एक सुसंगठित प्रणाली विकसित की गई।
3. सांस्कृतिक और धार्मिक योगदान
अहोम शासकों ने असम की सांस्कृतिक और धार्मिक विरासत को समृद्ध किया। उन्होंने वैष्णव धर्म को बढ़ावा दिया और असमिया भाषा और साहित्य के विकास में महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निभाई। अहोम शासन के दौरान असमिया संस्कृति का विकास और संरक्षण हुआ, जिसने असम की सामाजिक और सांस्कृतिक पहचान को मजबूत किया।
4. मुगलों के साथ संघर्ष
अहोम राज्य को कई बार मुगल आक्रमणों का सामना करना पड़ा, लेकिन अपनी रणनीतिक कुशलता और सैन्य शक्ति के बल पर अहोम शासकों ने मुगलों को कई मौकों पर पराजित किया। सराईघाट का युद्ध (1671) इसका प्रमुख उदाहरण है, जिसमें अहोम सेनापति लचित बोरफुकन ने मुगल सेना को हराया था।
निष्कर्ष
अहोम राज्य का उदय असम के इतिहास में एक महत्वपूर्ण घटना है, जिसने लगभग 600 वर्षों तक असम की राजनीति, संस्कृति, और समाज पर गहरा प्रभाव डाला। यह राज्य अपनी सैन्य शक्ति, कुशल प्रशासन और सांस्कृतिक योगदान के लिए जाना जाता है। अहोम शासकों ने असम की एकता और पहचान को मजबूत किया, जो आज भी असम की सांस्कृतिक धरोहर का हिस्सा है।
Q 5. हुंडी क्या है? मुगल काल में यह मौद्रिक लेन-देन का एक महत्वपूर्ण माध्यम कैसे बना?
हुंडी एक प्राचीन वित्तीय साधन है जो व्यापार और मौद्रिक लेन-देन में इस्तेमाल होता है। यह मूलतः एक प्रकार का बैंकर या चालान होता है, जिसमें लेन-देन की जानकारी और भुगतान की जिम्मेदारी को अन्य व्यक्ति या संस्थान द्वारा सुनिश्चित किया जाता है। यह एक लिखित आदेश होता है जिसमें एक व्यक्ति (धारक) किसी अन्य व्यक्ति या संस्थान को धन प्राप्त करने का अधिकार देता है।
1. हुंडी की परिभाषा और प्रकार
हुंडी एक प्रकार का वित्तीय दस्तावेज होता है, जिसका प्रयोग व्यापारिक लेन-देन और ऋण प्रदान करने में किया जाता है। इसके प्रमुख प्रकार निम्नलिखित हैं:
मुस्लिम हुंडी (मुसलमानों के लिए): यह हुंडी एक सामान्य व्यापारिक लेन-देन के लिए होती है जिसमें एक व्यक्ति दूसरे को धन का भुगतान करने का आदेश देता है।
दार (दस्तावेज): इसमें कोई व्यक्ति धन का भुगतान करके लेन-देन को पूरा कर��ा है।
मद्रास: इसमें व्यापारियों के बीच की गई लेन-देन की पुष्टि होती है।
2. मुगल काल में हुंडी का महत्व
मुगल काल (1526-1857) में हुंडी ने मौद्रिक लेन-देन का एक महत्वपूर्ण माध्यम बनकर उभरा। इसके महत्व के कुछ प्रमुख कारण निम्नलिखित हैं:
व्यापारिक लेन-देन में सुविधा: मुगल काल में व्यापारिक गतिविधियाँ बहुत व्यापक थीं, और व्यापारियों को विभिन्न क्षेत्रों में लेन-देन की आवश्यकता होती थी। हुंडी ने इस प्रक्रिया को सरल और सुरक्षित बना दिया। व्यापारियों ने अपनी लेन-देन को दस्तावेज के रूप में दर्ज किया, जिससे उन्हें भुगतान प्राप्त करने में आसानी होती थी।
सुरक्षा और विश्वसनीयता: हुंडी ने लेन-देन को सुरक्षित और विश्वसनीय बनाने में मदद की। यह दस्तावेज लेन-देन की पुष्टि करता था और भुगतान की जिम्मेदारी को सुनिश्चित करता था। इससे व्यापारियों को धोखाधड़ी और आर्थिक जोखिमों से बचाव मिला।
अंतर्राष्ट्रीय व्यापार में योगदान: मुगल काल में भारत ने विश्व व्यापार में महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निभाई। हुंडी ने अंतर्राष्ट्रीय व्यापार को सरल बनाया क्योंकि यह विभिन्न व्यापारिक मानकों और नियमों के अनुसार लेन-देन को मान्यता देता था।
प्रशासनिक समर्थन: मुगलों ने हुंडी को मान्यता दी और इसे कानूनी दस्तावेज के रूप में स्वीकार किया। इससे व्यापारिक लेन-देन की प्रक्रिया को मान्यता मिली और व्यापारियों को सरकारी समर्थन प्राप्त हुआ।
3. औद्योगिक और आर्थिक प्रभाव
हुंडी ने मुगलों के आर्थिक और औद्योगिक विकास में महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निभाई। व्यापारिक लेन-देन की सरलता और सुरक्षा ने भारत की अर्थव्यवस्था को स्थिरता और वृद्धि प्रदान की। इसने व्यापारियों को नए व्यापारिक अवसरों की खोज में मदद की और भारत को वैश्विक व्यापार नेटवर्क में एक महत्वपूर्ण स्थान दिलाया।
निष्कर्ष
हुंडी ने मुगल काल में मौद्रिक लेन-देन के लिए एक प्रभावी और विश्वसनीय साधन के रूप में कार्य किया। इसकी सहायता से व्यापारिक लेन-देन को सरल, सुरक्षित, और व्यावसायिक दृष्टिकोण से कुशल बनाया गया। यह एक ऐसा वित्तीय उपकरण था जिसने मुगलों के आर्थिक और व्यापारिक विकास में महत्वपूर्ण योगदान दिया और भारतीय व्यापार को वैश्विक स्तर पर मान्यता दिलाई।
निम्नलिखित लघु श्रेणी प्रश्नों के उत्तर लगभग 100 शब्दों (प्रत्येक ) में दीजिए । प्रत्येक प्रश्न 6 अंकों का है।
Q 6. विजय नगर साम्राज्य में मंदिरों की आर्थिक भूमिका
विजय नगर साम्राज्य (1336-1646) के दौरान मंदिरों ने न केवल धार्मिक बल्कि आर्थिक दृष्टिकोण से भी महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निभाई। मंदिरों के पास विशाल जमींदारी, भेंट और दान की संपत्तियाँ थीं, जो उन्हें एक प्रमुख आर्थिक शक्ति बनाती थीं। ये मंदिर कृषि भूमि, व्यापारिक संपत्तियाँ, और अन्य संसाधनों के स्वामी थे, जिससे उन्हें स्थिर आय प्राप्त होती थी। मंदिरों का आर्थिक प्रभाव स्थानीय समाज के विकास में सहायक था, जैसे कि कृषि प्रोत्साहन और स्थानीय व्यापारिक गतिविधियों को बढ़ावा देना। मंदिरों की समृद्धि ने साम्राज्य के आर्थिक और सामाजिक ढांचे को मजबूत किया।
Q 7. सल्तनत में ग्रामीण मध्यस्थ वर्ग
सल्तनत काल (1206-1526) में ग्रामीण मध्यस्थ वर्ग का महत्वपूर्ण स्थान था। यह वर्ग गाँवों में प्रशासनिक, आर्थिक, और सामाजिक भूमिका निभाता था। इसमें मुख्य रूप से गाँव के मुखिया, पटवारी, और अन्य प्रशासनिक अधिकारी शामिल थे। इन मध्यस्थों का कार्य भूमि रिकॉर्ड बनाए रखना, कर वसूलना, और स्थानीय विवादों का समाधान करना था।
इन अधिकारियों को साम्राज्य के विभिन्न नीतियों और आदेशों को ग्रामीण क्षेत्रों में लागू करने की जिम्मेदारी सौंपी जाती थी। उनके माध्यम से सल्तनत ने अपनी सत्त�� और नीतियों को ग्रामीण क्षेत्रों तक पहुँचाया। इस वर्ग की भूमिका ग्रामीण प्रशासन की स्थिरता और साम्राज्य की सुसंगतता को सुनिश्चित करने में महत्वपूर्ण थी।
Q 8. मध्यकालीन भारत में प्रिंटिंग प्रेस
मध्यकालीन भारत (1206-1526) के दौरान प्रिंटिंग प्रेस का उपयोग नहीं था, क्योंकि इसका आविष्कार 15वीं शताब्दी में यूरोप में हुआ था। प्रिंटिंग प्रेस की शुरुआत जर्मनी में जोहान्स गुटेनबर्ग द्वारा की गई थी। भारत में प्रिंटिंग प्रेस का आगमन 16वीं शताब्दी के अंत और 17वीं शताब्दी की शुरुआत में हुआ, जब यूरोपीय मिशनरियों और व्यापारियों के माध्यम से इसकी शुरुआत हुई।
प्रारंभ में, प्रिंटिंग प्रेस का उपयोग मुख्यतः धार्मिक और शैक्षिक सामग्री के प्रकाशन के लिए किया गया। यह माध्यम भारतीय समाज में पुस्तकों की उपलब्धता और ज्ञान के प्रसार को बढ़ावा देने में महत्वपूर्ण साबित हुआ।
Q 9. रुद्रमा देवी
रुद्रमा देवी (1262-1289) दक्षिण भारत के काकतिया वंश की एक प्रमुख शासक थीं। वह काकतिया राजा प्रभाकरण के बाद शासन करने वाली पहली महिला शासक थीं और अपने पिता की मृत्यु के बाद सिंहासन पर बैठीं। रुद्रमा देवी ने अपने शासनकाल में कई महत्वपूर्ण कार्य किए और काकतिया साम्राज्य को स्थिर और समृद्ध बनाने में महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निभाई।
1. प्रशासनिक और सैन्य सुधार
रुद्रमा देवी ने प्रशासनिक और सैन्य सुधारों को लागू किया। उन्होंने साम्राज्य की सीमाओं की रक्षा के लिए मजबूत सैन्य बल का निर्माण किया और विभिन्न क्ष���त्रों में प्रभावी शासन व्यवस्था स्थापित की। उनकी सैन्य कुशलता और नेतृत्व ने काकतिया साम्राज्य को बाहरी आक्रमणों से सुरक्षित रखा।
2. सांस्कृतिक और धार्मिक योगदान
उनके शासनकाल में कला, संस्कृति और धार्मिक गतिविधियों को बढ़ावा मिला। रुद्रमा देवी ने मंदिरों और धार्मिक संस्थानों को संरक्षण और समर्थन प्रदान किया। उन्होंने अपने शासनकाल के दौरान कई महत्वपूर्ण धार्मिक और सांस्कृतिक निर्माण कार्यों को संपन्न किया, जो आज भी काकतिया कला और वास्तुकला के प्रमुख उदाहरण हैं।
3. महिला शासक के रूप में योगदान
रुद्रमा देवी एक प्रभावशाली महिला शासक के रूप में उभरीं, जिन्होंने पुरुष-प्रधान समाज में अपने नेतृत्व और प्रशासनिक कौशल के लिए सराहना प्राप्त की। उनकी शासकीय नीतियों और नेतृत्व ने साबित किया कि महिलाएं भी सत्ता और शासन में महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निभा सकती हैं।
निष्कर्ष
रुद्रमा देवी ने काकतिया साम्राज्य को एक मजबूत और स्थिर शासन प्रदान किया। उनके प्रशासनिक और सैन्य सुधार, सांस्कृतिक योगदान, और महिला नेतृत्व ने उन्हें भारतीय इतिहास में एक महत्वपूर्ण स्थान दिलाया। उनकी विरासत आज भी काकतिया वंश की ऐतिहासिक महत्ता का प्रमाण है।
Q 10 खिलाफत और दिल्ली सल्तनत
खिलाफत और दिल्ली सल्तनत का संबंध भारतीय उपमहाद्वीप के मध्यकालीन इतिहास में महत्वपूर्ण रहा है। दोनों संस्थाएँ अल��-अलग राजनीतिक और धार्मिक दृष्टिकोणों से जुड़ी थीं, लेकिन उनके बीच का संपर्क और प्रभाव एक जटिल और दिलचस्प परिदृश्य प्रस्तुत करता है।
1. दिल्ली सल्तनत
दिल्ली सल्तनत (1206-1526) एक महत्वपूर्ण मुस्लिम साम्राज्य था, जिसने भारतीय उपमहाद्वीप में शक्ति स्थापित की। इसका प्रारंभ कुतुबुद्दीन ऐबक द्वारा किया गया था और इसके बाद कई शासकों ने शासन किया, जैसे इल्तुतमिश, अलाउद्दीन खिलजी, और तुगलक वंश के शासक। दिल्ली सल्तनत ने भारतीय राजनीति और समाज पर गहरा प्रभाव डाला, और इसके शासकों ने विभिन्न प्रकार की प्रशासनिक, आर्थिक, और सैन्य नीतियों को लागू किया।
2. खिलाफत
खिलाफत (Caliphate) इस्लामिक राज्य का धार्मिक और राजनीतिक नेतृत्व था। यह इस्लामी साम्राज्य के सबसे प्रमुख धार्मिक नेताओं का समूह था, जो मोहम्मद के पश्चात इस्लामिक समुदाय की राजनीतिक और धार्मिक दिशा का मार्गदर्शन करता था। खिलाफत की प्रमुख सीट मदीना और बाद में बगदाद में रही।
3. दिल्ली सल्तनत और खिलाफत का संबंध
धार्मिक और राजनीतिक संपर्क: दिल्ली सल्तनत और खिलाफत के बीच एक धार्मिक और राजनीतिक संबंध था, जिसमें दिल्ली के शासक खिलाफत के प्रति निष्ठा और समर्थन का दावा करते थे। सल्तनत के शासकों ने खिलाफत के धार्मिक अधिकार को मान्यता दी और मुस्लिम साम्राज्य की एकता और शक्ति को बनाए रखने की कोशिश की।
खिलाफत आंदोलन: 20वीं सदी की शुरुआत में, खिलाफत आंदोलन ने भारतीय राजनीति में एक महत्वपूर्ण स्थान प्राप्त किया। यह आंदोलन तुर्की के खिलाफत की रक्षा और प्रथम विश्व युद्ध के बाद तुर्की में उत्पन्न संकट के खिलाफ था। महात्मा गांधी और अन्य भारतीय नेताओं ने इस आंदोलन का समर्थन किया, जो दिल्ली सल्तनत की सत्ता के समय का संबंध नहीं था, लेकिन भारतीय और इस्लामी राजनीति के बीच संबंधों को दर्शाता है।
4. प्रभाव और योगदान
दिल्ली सल्तनत और खिलाफत दोनों ने भारतीय उपमहाद्वीप के इतिहास पर गहरा प्रभाव डाला। दिल्ली सल्तनत ने भारतीय राजनीति और समाज में मुस्लिम संस्कृति और प्रशासनिक ढांचे को स्थापित किया। खिलाफत ने इस्लामी धर्म और राजनीति की दिशा को निर्धारित किया और साम्राज्य के धार्मिक नेतृत्व को बनाए रखा।
निष्कर्ष
खिलाफत और दिल्ली सल्तनत के बीच का संबंध भारतीय और इस्लामी राजनीति के जटिल नेटवर्क को दर्शाता है। दिल्ली सल्तनत ने भारत में मुस्लिम शक्ति की स्थापना की और खिलाफत ने इस्लामी धर्म और राजनीति की दिशा को निर्धारित किया। दोनों संस्थाओं का संबंध धार्मिक निष्ठा, राजनीतिक समर्थन, और सांस्कृतिक प्रभाव के माध्यम से गहराई से जुड़ा हुआ था।
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luna-azzurra · 2 months ago
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Genius Things to Do When You’re Stuck in Your Plot...
Make a fake conspiracy board connecting every character like you're solving a murder. Use string, post-its, color-coded chaos. Even if your book isn’t a thriller, this helps you spot secret relationships, hidden motivations, and “oh crap, this character actually caused that moment three chapters later” reveals.
Write a therapy session transcript for your protagonist. What would they say to a stranger? What wouldn’t they say? What does the therapist pick up on that they don’t? (Also: gives you instant internal conflict fuel.)
Record a fake podcast episode where your villain is a guest. The topic? “Why I Was Right and Everyone Else Is Just Soft.” Let them monologue. Let them get unhinged. You’ll learn so much about their worldview and how they justify their chaos.
Assign zodiac signs to all your main characters and write how they’d react to a haunted house. Not because astrology is the answer—but because forcing your brain to imagine characters in weird situations unlocks surprising truths. (Your Scorpio would definitely flirt with the ghost. Your Virgo brought sage.)
Write the worst possible ending to your story on purpose. Like, make it hilariously bad. Deus ex machina, everyone dies, aliens show up—it doesn’t matter. Sometimes mocking your plot actually helps you figure out what doesn’t work so you can reverse-engineer what does.
Do a “what if this happened instead?” daydream session in the shower or on a walk. No pressure. Just free-thinking. Let your brain go off-road. You might stumble into a better twist, or a softer moment, or a scene that guts you in the best way.
Write the one scene you’re most excited about—now. Even if you “haven’t earned it” yet in the draft. Screw linear order. Give yourself a jolt of joy. That scene might be the key to unlocking everything else.
Make your characters write Yelp reviews about each other. “One star. Always steals my fries. Would still die for him.” This is ridiculous, yes. But it will reveal interpersonal tension you didn’t know was there.
Tell your plot to someone who knows nothing about it—and see where they get confused. Your roommate. Your cat. Your reflection. If you can’t explain it out loud in 2 minutes, it’s probably too complicated. Simplify the heart of the story. Get clear again.
Write a flash-forward epilogue. Even if it never makes it into the book. Where do these characters end up? Who are they now? That can tell you where the real story wants to go—and help you figure out what’s missing along the way.
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dcxdpdabbles · 25 days ago
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DCxDP Fanfic Idea: Not My Business
Danny Fenton develops a unique set of skills throughout his life. He knew how to disarm a bomb when he was seven, thanks to his Dad making minebombs in the front yard as a ghost defense. (They only covered humans in ecto-goo, but it was the same concept of not wanting to have it explode on him)
He knew how to fight with a bo-staff only because he had to fight off the meals his parents brought back to life with a broom. He knew how to balance a checkbook, file tax forms, and properly build credit by the time he was ten, thanks to the years his parents ran a business at the kitchen table.
His sister taught him how to charm rude customers with a smile, how to lie without flinching, and how to complete all his assignments on time, despite having only a few hours to do so. She spent a lot of time volunteering, often dragging him along, which allowed Danny to build up his resume with both soft and hard skills he likely would never have thought there was a name for.
Problem-solving, teamwork, communication, time management, adaptability, data analysis, cybersecurity, data entry, and copywriting were the skills that Jazz focused on the most. She all but beat them into his head.
Along with cooking, sewing, basic plumbing, basic mechanics, and budgeting. Jazz was the one who looked for practical abilities.
That left time for his mom and dad to teach him things like forging, combat training, reprogramming everyday objects into weaponry, defending his position before a board for grant money, turning everyday household liquids into knock-out gas, and how to talk his way out of traffic tickets.
Not to mention everything he learn as Phantom.
Danny knew how to verify jewels and gold due to the years spent in the ghost zone fighting off pirates and treasure hunters. Phantom's reputation made him a target for many ghosts who wanted to add his rarity to their collections.
How to command a room, then a town, and finally an army. Diplomatic missions increased in number as he began meeting with the leaders of various sectors within the Ghost Zones.
Really, Danny didn't make a whole lot of sense, if anyone bothered to ask him how he came to this set of skills. The thing was, unlike the rest of his family, Danny was far too reserved to show them off. He edged the line of shyness from a young age, which sometimes bled into reclusive tendencies.
He didn't get anxious from social interactions; he just didn't feel like seeking them out. Sam and Tucker felt a similar way, as they were always willing to talk to a stranger, but they tried to branch out of their safe little bubble to make friends rather than acquaintances. Then the summer between sophomore and junior year happened.
Sam, Danny, and Tucker left tenth grade as plain losers only to arrive in junior with a splash.
The trio noticed that people were staring at them more intensely than they had been before. That they were used to, what they weren't used to was that the stares were not mocking or dismissive.
It was odd, but it didn't click on why that was until winter break, and more specifically, Star's Holiday party.
Ever since the fourth grade, Star hosted the biggest party of their generation. Her parents owned the local fun center, which featured indoor kart racing, laser tag, arcade games, paintball, and virtual reality pods. Everyone tripped over themselves to be given an invitation as she offered a full day and night of free entertainment at the center.
It always ended with wild stories of teenage fun that Danny always wanted to see in person, rather than hearing about in the hallways the next day. Not that everyone in their grade went. The invitation list was super selective (Star's parents did lose a lot of profit for letting their daughter do that)
You either received an invitation from the party girl herself, or you were asked to be a plus one, which was just as much of an honor as it was a symbol of social status among the teenage population of Amity Park.
The trio was never invited, which is why they were already making their way to the student parking lot when Star stood in the courtyard, holding up the scarred envelopes. Inside them was the bracelet that one had to scan at the door of her center to let people in. It was how her father ensured only the agreed-upon guests stayed at that number.
In the middle of making plans for hot chocolate at Sam's favorite poetry slam cafe, Star had run at Tucker's car, practically falling over to knock on his window. Danny had never been so confused in his life as his friend rolled down his window to arch a brow at the girl.
She stuttered her way through a pathetic request for fashion advice that Tucker easily answered in two sentences. Sam snickered as Star seemed unsure what to do with Tucker's lack of interest in her or her popularity.
Ever since Tucker started focusing more on his self-confidence and joined the fashion community, he hadn't been so girl-crazy nor as desperate to get one's attention.
Just as Danny reminded Tucker that other cars were waiting for them to clear the road, Star had pushed three envelopes into the driver's hand and run off with a red face.
Tucker stared at the envelopes in his hands with a wild look that both Sam and Danny shared. They slowly kicked their brains back into gear when an angry honk from the car behind them sounded, and they ended up silently driving the cafe, still in a daze.
Jazz laughed herself silly when they rang her up to ask if she thought it was a trick (Sam was sure they were going to be Carrie-ed), a mistake (Danny insisted Star had gone to the wrong car, but due to the tinting, didn't realize until it was too late). Or a genuine invitation (Tcuker had always been the most optimistic of the three).
"Haven't you three ever wondered why Spectra used emotion-based ectoplasm for her appearance?" She giggled, "It makes people hot. And you guys literally spend all summer in the Ghost Zone during your internships, feeling human emotions while being exposed to natural ectoplasm. You three came back looking good."
That was a shock.
The summer apprenticeships had been a compromise between Sam and her parents. They were growing tired of her not growing out of her "phase" and were threatening to send her to a military camp to straighten her out.
Thankfully, Jazz had stepped in, brilliantly changing their minds into allowing the college student to match Sam up with a well-known friend as a mentor. She even threw Danny and Tucker into her "program" to further show that it was just what Sam needed to stop her from being a troubled teen.
Since only Maddie and Jack knew about Phantom, it took some effort among all of them to create fake websites and legitimate-looking summer programs before Sam, Tucker, and Danny arrived in the Ghost Zone in different vehicles to spend their summers. It helped that Ghostwriter owed them a favor, and he brought the programs to life.
Danny was learning medical practices of various species with Frostbite. Sam was with Princess Dorathea, learning how to govern and manage a large estate. Tucker had taken Wulf up on his offer to join him through the Ghost Zone's wildness, allowing Tucker to experience life off-screen and learn more about animals.
Jazz had said she placed them out of their comfort zones, but with trusted ghosts that could help them build well-rounded characters. At first, it wasn't for them, but the trio found themselves falling in love with their activities.
By the time they came back, they had many stories and exceptional skills to share with their parents. Sam's parents weren't happy she was still a goth, but they did appreciate her newfound determination to connect with them and her interest in running companies like the family business.
Tucker's parents were amazed by the muscles he gained and how he started to limit his screen time. He still loves his tech, but now he was branching out into fashion, helping out around the house, and appreciating animals and nature like never before.
Maddie and Jack watched as Danny grew more empathic while becoming more sure of what to do in stressful situations. Confidence that their son desperately needed had been gifted to him over the summer. He no longer lowered his eyes or slouched, even if his awkwardness lingered a bit.
That apparently made them hot? Yes, it did.
At Star's party, even though the three kept to themselves, laughing and hanging out as normal, people were constantly attempting to talk to them or simply flushing whenever they made eye contact. Danny, Sam, and Tucker all agreed that they no longer wanted to be popular.
They stay firmly behind unbreakable walls even as the party skyrocketed them to the same level of popularity as the A-listers (they refused to join the club). The three were more excited to return to their summer internships the following summer.
By the time graduation rolled around, Danny, Sam, and Tucker had been voted the most attractive and the most likely to succeed. They were a new type of untouchable royalty walking the halls of Casper High.
It came as no surprise that their resumes and internships got them offers from various colleges, not to mention their looks. Jazz, by that point, was still working on her degree at Gotham U, so the three chose to go there.
Danny was studying to become a doctor, Sam was in business, and Tucker chose computer sciences. They had moved into a house that Sam's parents bought for them, allowing Jazz to move out of the dorms into the spare room. Things were going great for a while, living in the big city and being adults on their own for the first time.
Then Danny applied for an internship at Martha Wayne Memorial Hospital in the administrative area- Sam convinced him it would be a good way to get a foot in the door when he applied to medical school. He needed someone to write him rec letters.- And one night, when he was working late on data entry, he happened to see Batman's maskless fall out of a portal produced by a trenchcoat man.
The trenchcoat man carried Batman to the abandoned operating room that had been left behind when they remodeled the place and converted it into offices, followed by the rest of the Bats. Their faces were covered entirely, but it did not hide their worry as they rushed to catch up with the pair.
A woman wearing scrubs pushed through the portal and the group of masked heroes, barking out orders to prepare the room.
There was a magic spell wrapped around the group that typically would have made them invisible, and erase their importance in the mind of whoever looked at them, as if they were from a forgotten dream. Still, Danny's ecto contamination made him immune to the spell, so he witnessed the whole thing.
Huh. Bruce Wayne was Batman. Neat.
Danny figured it wasn't his business and turned back to his two monitors to finish the Excel spreadsheet he was working on. He later left after saving his work, ignoring the fact that he now knew why the operating room had been left untouched, despite having all that technology on standby.
He would get home, mention it over a plate of reheated pizza, while Tucker would be working on an essay due at midnight. His best friend would shrug, claiming his own ectoplasim had made him immune to Poison Ivy's plants- they were shockingly similar to some of the plants Wulf and he encountered in the Ghost Zone- and had seen Red Robin's face after the man had been sprayed in the face and some of the powder lingered on his mask.
Apparently, Tucker's midnight essay writing had given him a familiar, dazed college look of exhaustion. Still, since he wasn't freaking out at the man eating plants, Red Robin had thought him too gone on whatever Posion Ivy how dosed the crowd of hostages with, to worry about his bare face. He had merely moved Tucker somewhere safe, stabbed him in the thigh with a needle, which had been rude according to Tucker, and run off to fight Ivy.
Red Robin was Tim Drake. Neat.
The two changed the subject to a TV show, but eventually Tucker had to focus on his essay, and they fell silent.
The following morning, Sam reported that she, too, had figured out a Gotham Hero's identity by accident. Her ectoplasim contamination had made her an attractive goth, who was approached by a blushing Damian Wayne to ask her to model her alternative style for his art club.
At the offer of a bit of pocket change, Sam had agreed to follow the art club president to a park where a group of teenagers were setting up canvases and easels. They asked her to sit on the park fountain for a few hours while they tried to capture her likeness in charcoal.
During the session, she noticed a change in Damian's movement as he grew more relaxed and his old habits began to shine through. Princess Dorathea had taught her the dangers of the court and how to notice little changes in body language that could keep her safe.
She thought it was odd that Damian moved like an assassin, reaching for a small knife in the same way he wielded his charcoal. It made sense later when she was rescued by Robin on her walk home from a would-be mugging and noticed the same little habits.
Robin was Damian Wayne. Neat.
If three of the many Bats were Waynes or connected to the famous family, it only logically makes sense that the rest were all Waynes too. Double neat.
The only one who was sincerely shocked by this reveal was Jazz, who had not even a hint of suspicion that Bruce Wayne was Batman.
"This is huge!" Jazz gasps, "Don't you guys realize how crazy this is!?"
"I mean, sure," Tucker slowly responded, sharing a confused glance with Sam and Danny. "But it's not really our business, is it? It's not like Danny is in the hero scene anymore."
"Well, yes but come on it's Batman!"
"I don't think Batman even cares about us, much less his Bruce persona. As someone from the bottom of the first class, trust me, the top of the first class doesn't even notice us taking up space. " Sam laughs, shaking her head. Danny hesitates to mention that Bruce Wayne has stopped by his office multiple times to bring coffee for all his coworkers, but figures the man must do that for all his employees.
Miles and miles away in Wayne Manor, Bruce narrows his eyes at the three screens displaying three newly graduated teens covered in paranormal residue. It's possible that they were all haunted and just didn't know it, which was a common thing, according to the Justice League Dark.
After some digging into their background, he found that companies, summer camps, and internships had all been fabricated by an incredible hacker who provided an oddly convincing cover-up for the various skills the trio possessed. Again, the Justice League Dark also stated that it was common, as that was a tactic the Otherworlders frequently used on humans to leech onto them.
Like a gas station in the middle of nowhere that was there and then it wasn't a few days later.
The three weren't experiencing any negative emotions, which meant whatever was haunting them would soon pass, and it wasn't necessary to intervene. Zatanna promised Bruce that everything was fine.
He had some doubts.
So far, the three have been doing everyday things that first-year college students typically do, and yet, Bruce's children have reported seeing the three often in their civilian lives.
Foley worked out at the same gym Dick did and was often at the ramen shop Jason just helped one of his friends open. Manson began spending time at Cass's favorite café and attended Duke's poetry nights as an observer. Fenton, the male one, was literally working a few floors below Tim.
A coincidence?
Or was it something nefarious at play?
Bruce decided to wait and see what happens.
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wandasaura · 14 days ago
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SINFULLY
summary — it’s been a tantalizing exchange of passion and tension for seven days. they’ve pushed you to the edge, forced you to the cliffs peak, but in a moment of weakness, you become the problem in need of solving, and it only spirals from there
warning(s) — porn with plot, established relationships, threesome, dom/sub, bdsm elements, age gap relationships, professor maximoff, personal trainer natasha, beefy!natasha, innocent!reader, brat taming, choking, pussy inspection, punishment, daddy kink, professor kink, faux pity, manhandling, pussy spanking (w/ rings), spanking, edging, verbal humiliation, light anal play, plugs, ruined orgasm, orgasm denial, masturbation, voyeurism and exhibitionism, threats of bondage, vibrators, dildo, mean dom wanda, crying, begging, dirty talk, name calling, praise kink, subdrop, anxiety, aftercare, men/minors dni
authors note — i definitely missed some tags but i think you get the hint that this is absolute filth regardless of if i mention anything else. enjoy ;)
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“Sorry.” You apologized when your phone pinged with a message from your girlfriend. The one with fiery red hair that encapsulates the effects of her unrelenting passion; not the one with blonde hair that falls around her shoulders in a choppy cut she did herself two weeks ago. Your eyes glance down at the screen, not needing to guess what Wanda had found to warrant texting you so randomly in the middle of the afternoon.
You’d been waging an internal bid since that morning, when you’d enveloped her waist in a tight possessive claim and rested your head on her shoulder beneath her craned head so sweetly she didn’t notice your hand dipping into her pocket and discarding the yellow panties she’s picked out for you that morning, wondering if she’d notice then, or in the car, or in the middle of a lecture with students around to watch her flush and darken with lust. Natasha hadn’t noticed then either, and she’d been standing at the front door, already halfway outside with a thermos of coffee and a yoga mat under her bulging bicep as she waited. She dropped Wanda off at campus on Fridays. You should know. The first time you’d established that the cute girl you were seeing at the gym was your college professor's girlfriend, was on the street corner at 7th and Park on your way to a Spanish lecture. Natasha had all the windows down, but the roof still protected her sports car from seasonal rain, and her hair had been red at the time, peeking out through the windows as the wind blew. She was wild, reckless. Wanda was never that. Wanda had sat in the passenger side of the car with her hair pulled back in a bun. You’d known it was her because her side profile is haunting, encapsulating, delicious. You see her on campus, from down the hall, around the corner, across the parking lots. It’s not a big school, not by any metrics, but its big enough to never have her classes. It’s big enough for you to have swallowed the guilt of fucking a professor to allow you to boldness to leave your panties in her pocket before a lecture.
“Are you okay?” Kate frowns, glancing at you from across the table. You're in the library, a free period granted by your American History professor who actually has a brain on his shoulders and recognizes that sometimes students just need structured time to get their assignments done, or at least started. Your paper is filled with notes scribbled in purple ink, and the document you have opened on your laptop is highlighted with that dusty pink color that’s third from the bottom on the color gradient in Google Docs. Even with the lack of panties between your legs, the wetness you can’t deny dripping onto your denim shorts that feel like a nightmare against your sensitive clit when you twinge just slightly in your seat, you’ve been productive enough to make Wanda proud if she asks how you day at school went. ”You’ve been kind of quiet today.” Kate frowns, her eyes squinting like she’s trying to find an answer beneath the surface of your features. It’s not something that she can directly name. You’ve laughed at all of her jokes, smiled and teased her all like normal, but there's something that hangs over you that she knows isn’t right. “Oh god, is Wanda sexting you?”
Your face flushes. You’re suddenly aware that you’re not empty, not entirely at least. Your core clenches, slick walls pleading for friction, but your ass is full. It clamps down hard on the flared base of a silicone plug Natasha worked into your ass before she’d peeled herself out of bed to take a shower. It’s not one of the bigger ones, not one of the red princess plugs that came in a set of five that Wanda seldomly pulls out for intense scenes you’ve already discussed at length. It’s small, insignificant enough to be worn daily without much interference. It’s more a reminder of control than an interference, but right now it sparks every nerve in your belly and reminds you that you’ve been wanting for days. Four days.
Four days ago, on Monday, Natasha had pinned you up against the wall and touched you for the last time. She’d dipped her fingers beneath your denim shorts because it had been warm enough to bare your legs for her to ogle, and she’d worked you up on her fingers until arousal was dripping down her knuckles. She’d pulled away before you could cum. That was the third time she’d done that. The edging started Saturday night. For no reason. Wanda had come home from a pilates class at Natasha’s gym, which ironically was never run by Natasha but instead of best employee Pepper, who is actually named Virginia, and had taken you on the couch without even consulting Natasha who’d watched from the door frame with yearning eyes. She said nothing when she fucked your cunt with her tongue, her nose inhaling your scent as it bounced against your clit clumsily, and then she’d stopped and walked away like nothing happened, going into the kitchen to finish up dinner that Natash had thoughtfully already started. It hasn't ended since. It happens like this sometimes. It’s days of edging and denial until eventually Wanda explodes, but it’s never been like this before. It’s never reached the seventh day and still nobody’s let you cum. It’s thrilling. You think. Kate’s question catches you off guard. You’re emboldened by their experience, you allow them to corrupt you however they want, but in the absence of their dominating presence, you're just the innocent girl they plucked up off the streets.
“No!” You snatch your phone off the table like if it sits there any longer, Kate might develop a sixth sense for deception and absorb all the contents of your text chain with Wanda. You’d die if that happened. You have a hard enough time telling them what you want in explicit enough details to satisfy their vulgar desires, you wouldn’t be able to look at the Kate the same if she knew what the text said.
You decided to be a whore today, huh?
It’s simple but chilling. Eight words have unraveled you entirely, but you still have twenty minutes before you can sneak away to your car and drive back to Natasha’s house. It’s not their house, despite having been together for six years. Natasha had told the story as such — one day Wanda came over to spend the night and she never went home, the end. Legend has it, the redhead has a highrise apartment somewhere upstate, but she’s never ventured there with you in tow, and you’ve never seen a picture to prove it either. It’s basically your house now too though. Like Wanda, one day you’d gone over to spend the night, and then you’d never returned back to your dorm where Kate basks in the glory of single living. You think she’s pushed your beds together at this point and made a Queen for herself out of the two Twin XL’s, but you haven’t been back to check on the state of your belongings to know.
“She’s just telling me that Natasha wants meatballs for dinner, so she’ll send me money to get something on the way home.” You shrug, and it feels bad to lie, it makes your belly burn with guilt you don’t typically feel so intensely, but with your period four days off from ruining your entire month, you don’t dwell on the intensity of tears thrusting to prick your eyes and you deceive Kate for no reason. There’s no reason to lie, but you find yourself doing it anyway. There was no reason to leave your panties in Wanda’s pocket and risk her job, but you did it anyway. You’re impulsive without them guidinging you. It’s been months since you’ve been distanced enough to remember that.
“I wish Yelena would sugar mommy me.” Kate sulks, and you make a face as if to say they’re not even together, but Kate pointedly avoids glancing into your eyes to find the unspoken taunt. “Who sugar mommy’s you more? Natasha or Wanda?” She questions, and amusement fills your cheeks with hot air as you close your laptop and throw your highlighters and pens back into your pencil case, aiming to start wrapping this conversation up so that you can get home once your phone pings with the end of the allotted essay period.
“Well, Natasha owns her own business and Wanda’s a teacher so…” You break down the logistics of their finances, because it feels imperative that you remind Kate that regardless of anything else, Natasha still trumps both you and Wanda with inconce rates. Kate should know that though, she’s been obsessed with Natasha’s younger sister since your freshman year, and Yelena’s only finally giving her enough attention for lunch dates to be delusionally morphed into plans of marriage. You’re going to hate the day she learns Yelena’s asexual, and she has a better chance of fucking a fire hydrant than the blonde.
“She’s a professor!” Kate interjects, and your eyes roll. “They get paid more, and it’s hotter.” She’s had the hots for Wanda since she took Slavic Languages last semester on a whim after failing Spanish for the second time. You’ve only ever heard impeccable things about Wanda’s reserve when she’s giving a lecture, so even though your blood boils every time you remember other girls think about Wanda the way only you get to have her, you never can say you blame her for fantasizing about the lengths the redhead goes to romantically.
“Neither one of them really sugar mommy me.” You shrug, finding your voice again after Kate. You hope she doesn’t notice how your hips shift against the leather cushion beneath your awkwardly distributed weight, but you don’t think you’re entirely subtle as you attempt to alleviate pressure on the plug. Thankfully, you’re entirely certain Kate doesn’t even know the first signs to look for. She talks a big game, but you’re certain her last kiss was some douche bag at NYU before she was expelled. “I mean, I guess Wanda pays for dinner when we go out, but other than that it's pretty even.” Your words are a breathless huff when you move and the cushion expands without your pressing weight, and presses against the plug when you least expect it.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kate frowns, once again drawn to how something just isn’t completely right with you. It comes in waves, and it makes her uncomfortable for a reason she doesn’t know. You don’t even notice the way she shifts like she wants to retreat to basic elementary school survival skills and go find a trusted adult to confide in. You’d find it funny that sexual tension makes her uncomfortable, especially because all she does is yearn after Yelena Belova and some girl in her chemistry class named Maia, but it doesn’t even crash upon the surface of your mental shorelines. You’re so far from what's actually happening she could call you out on your horny bullshit right now and you wouldn’t know she saw through you.
You’re not great at being deceptive, in fact you’re pointedly bad at selling a lie even when you believe it fully, but something keeps you on your toes now, something like Natasha’s quick wit and self-preservation skills finally rubbing off on you. You find something in your head that’s not entirely a lie, and it falls off your lips before you can consider the implications of this potentially backfiring on you later on. It’s not a big deal, she’s not going to care that you’re horny because you’re in a lovely, healthy relationship where you try new things, but you’re making it a big deal and you don’t know why. ”Yeah, I just remembered I left the Zyrtec in Wanda’s trunk.”
“Oh, you’re still dealing with those allergies?” Kate frowns, and you deflate in immediate relief that you’ve managed to salvage the conversation and her worries all in one go. You let her guide the conversation from there, because you’re not sure you can focus on much of anything outside from how your clit graces against the inseam of your shorts when you cross one thigh over the other and shift your weight until your thighs become one. It’s humiliating. You’re humiliating yourself without their influence. Your cheeks burn. How have you fallen so far? How did you get to this point? If Natasha were beside you, you know she’d be grinning like a devil watching you squirm. If Wanda were here, you know she’d scold you for being so naughty in public, for being so needy that you can’t even sit still like a good girl while your friend tries to talk to you. They’ve ruined you.
Kate walks you to your car despite trying to part ways at the door. She’s kind as she tells you about all the events coming up on campus that you’re certainly going to avoid going to at all costs, but she tells you any way so that you feel included. It wouldn’t have bothered you any other day, but you’re certain that the crotch of your shorts is a shade of blue darker than the rest of the denim material, and you can’t face the realization of her knowing you’re so honry yoru thighs are slick with arousal and it’s your fault. You can’t help but think that you should’ve never left those panties in her bag, because now your thighs glimmer beneath the sunshine of June, and your arsenal that slips down your thighs in tantalizing beads are like high beams for anyone to lock in on at their own will. You’d never know if someone stole a glance from across the parking lot, if they took that image home with them and got off on it in secret, or if they didn’t even wait, just slipped into their office and worked it out then and there. You hate that Wanda’s convinced you that’s a hot possibility. You hate that it only makes the coil in your belly grow more and more until you’re clenching your fingers into fists and forcing back tears as Kate drags out her goodbye at the driver's side door of your little car with hardly any life left in it.
The commute back to Natasha’s has never felt so bumpy, and you’re ashamed that by the time you pull into the driveway, you’ve broken out into a hot flash that turns your cheeks cherry red and threatens to push you over the edge into a touchless orgasm that shatters you completely. The plug in your ass has nearly been pushed out twice, but the force of your ass meeting the seat as you bump against the unevenly paved highway forces it back into place. It’s never been a distraction like this, but your senses have also never been on overdrive like this away from your bed or the exotic spots chosen by your girlfriends with caution. It feels like there are fireworks before your fingernails, burrowed deep into your cuticles and unwilling to move. There’s an agonizing pressure in your belly that is enough to riddle you with tears and hiccuping sobs. You’re desperate, on the verge of an orgasm from roadside construction instead of your girlfriends, but just like they’d been doing to your body all week, the drive home ends before you reach your peak, and for the millionth time, you're edged and left stranded in the middle of blinding electricity and somebody forgot to flip the breaker.
Wanda isn’t home yet. She should be, but she’s not. A part of you is worried that she got fired, That she pulled the panties out at the wrong place, or at the wrong time, but she’d never texted you again, and you have the slightest hope that if she were facing unemployment she’d at least give you a heads up. When you’d slipped the panties into her pocket, you’d wanted someone to see them, but that thought swallows you up and echoes in the back of your head now like a demon willing you down a tainted path. It’s too late now. You’re already down it.
Natasha is home though, and the light gleams through the window and tells you she’s waiting in the living room. Maybe she’s not waiting though. She might just be watching TV, she might not even know that its one o’clock and you’re never home any later than one-thirty. You push through the front door like it weighs a million pounds, and there’s not one second to consider if Natasha knows what happened today or not. The minute you glance at her all comfortable on the couch, her biceps bulging as she crosses her arms over her belly and hides the handfuls of skin on her hips from you, you know that she knows, and she knows that you know that she knows. It makes your head swim. You want her with a burning passion.
“Oh, you’re home?” She asks, already rising from the couch though her tone feigned disinterest. You swallow thickly, shrinking beneath her stare. It feels so hot, so heavy. She’s unmaking you entirely, and yet she doesn’t seem to give a fuck whether you’re coming or going or somewhere in the middle. Her eyes sweep over your frame, and you know she’s reading every miniscule emotion portrayed across your demeanor, so you try your best to appear unassume, innocent, even if your belly churns knowing evidence of your disobedience stains your car seats now and your inner thighs. Your denim shorts feel heavy around your waist, the center weighed down by arousal that continues to collect. It’s uncountable, sticky. There’s no hiding the difference in hue anymore, sodden denim exposing your desires.
“I’m home.” You whisper, your throat bobbing as you swallow dryly. It doesn’t help anything. Your head is no clearer and you find your words no easier, but you force yourself to swallow again and hope that this time it helps. Natasha quirks an eyebrow, and the uninterested reserve drops entirely as her green-blue stare — you can never decide which color she wears more authentically — darkens into mystical lust that almost resembles charred ashes.
“Were you proud of yourself?” Natasha backs you up against the door. She’s not a tall woman, she’s only a handful of inches taller than you depending on what kind of shoe you’re wearing, but you feel impossibly small beneath her right now as your back meets the hard wood of the door and one of her buff arms comes up to frame the side of your face. It slams against the wood at first, hard, aggressive, aimed to startle you, and then it slides so slowly you think she may be tracking a fly, before it settles on your cheek with a burning weight that has you itching for more. It doesn’t last there for long. Natasha’s never been a woman skilled with stillness. She’s always moving, always finding ways to keep herself busy, so it doesn’t surprise you that she can’t even keep her palm on your cheek for long enough to capture your attention the way she wants. Instead, she trails it down to your throat, and you know then that you’re entirely screwed. She squeezes, not tight, but firm, and your eyes become wide as your reel beneath the easy dominance. “Were you proud of yourself when you snuck those pretty panties into Wanda’s jacket? I bet you wanted everyone to see them, huh? You probably couldn’t help but think about them falling out onto the floor during her lecture, or maybe you thought she’d find them during her meeting. Yeah? While she was sitting right next to Eleanor Bishop talking about you, and your major, and the future of your program.” Your belly is suddenly filled with a weight you know is guilt, and Natasha can see that. She’d aimed to let the reality of your decisions wash over you, and only when she’s satisfied that you’ve sat with the realization long enough does she lean in to kiss you and simultaneously work the button of your shorts open with the hand that's not around your neck.
“I didn’t think-“ When she pulls away from the bruising kiss that makes your head spin and the coil in your belly threaten to wind up again, you desperately try to find confirmation on your tongue that will assure her you’d never wanted anything to happen to Wanda outside of a little frustration. Even then, you weren’t sure what your aim had been this morning. Maybe it was to get her back. To make sure she knows how much this is killing you. Maybe you’d just wanted the attention. You don't know.
“That’s the problem, isn’t it, moya lyubov? You don’t think. You just let this cunt tell you what to do, even if it gets you in trouble. I bet she’s wet, huh? Oh yeah.” Natasha groans when she cups your core through the denim shorts, not even having to attempt to prod at your entrance through the thick layers, she can feel the moisture and heat radiating onto her calloused skin just from the possessive grip she’s initiated. “You’re always wet, always so easy to fuck. It doesn’t take much does it? I bet that plugs been driving you crazy all day, and you thought you were gonna be a brat and outsmart Wanda, but I bet not having any panties on only made it worse, huh, princess? I bet you’ve been wet since you left. Did you break my rule, baby? Did you touch this cunt without permission?”
A gasp falls off of your lips when Natasha cups your core harder, grinding the heel of her palm into your clit just hard enough to move the inseam of your shorts with it, forcing pleasure on you thats too rough and too intense all at once. Tears prick your eyes, but there’s still a question to be answered, and you’re not gone enough to have forgotten that if nothing else, she expects you to find an answer for her. “N-No!” You wail, frustration bubbling up inside of you when the pressure ebbs into nothing and your clit is left unsatisfied again. “I didn’t!”
Natasha’s tuts, clicking her tongue against her front teeth as she cranes her head at you sympathetically. The hand around your throat eventually trails away, cupping your face and then wiping the tears off your cheeks. “See, I don’t believe you, detka. I’m gonna have to check for myself. Open your legs wider.” She removes her hand from between your legs all together, tapping your hip in warning as she gives you space to comply with her request. When you just stand there, floundering for something to grasp onto and pull you through the dark waters with, Natasha huffs. “Open your legs wider. Now.”
You do as she asks, because it’s only natural that you do. You had half a mind this morning to do that exact opposite of what they asked, and yesterday, you’d pointedly avoiding doing what Wanda asked until there was no other choice but to comply or stand beneath her disappointed glare from across the kitchen, but that wingless push of confidence has evaded you now. It’s nowhere to be found even when you try to find the courage to stand up to her in your fingertips.
Your zipper doesn’t stand a chance against the force of her fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your panties until he bypasses your clit and france’s her fingers along your labia. There’s a distinguished squelching sound that meets the air when she dips just one knuckle into your entrance, filling you up for the very first time since Monday afternoon, and you gasp with so much relief that you don’t even recognize the sinister smirk on her lips as she reads your expression like a book she’s memorized dutifully.
“You’re so wet.” She comments, “Are you sure you didn’t touch yourself?” She knows you didn’t. The way you contract against her fingers as she eases another one into your walls and spreads you out like she’s preparing for a game of rock paper scissors tells her that you’ve not had an ounce of real pleasure since the last time she’d allowed it. She thinks it was two days ago. You’re unaware that she’s seemingly lost in a haze of days and mundane adult routine.
“I didn’t! I didn’t! Daddy, please!” You gasp, your back arching off the door when her fingers scrape along your walls. She makes an interested sound high in her throat, like she’s surprised to find that your sensitive there, and does it again, this time with full intention to overwhelm you with pleasure.
”Oh, are you sensitive right there, detka? Is that your spot?” She coos, and it feels so wrong so be treated like this by her. Natasha isn’t soft, but she’s not cruel, and right now she’s wearing Wanda’s condescension with her blonde hair that tickles your cheek when she drops her forehead against yours. “I didn’t know.” She pouts, and you wonder why for a second, but then it makes perfect sense when she pulls her fingers away and you’re left clenching around nothingness. She’s apologizing for giving you pleasure with nothing else. She’s pretending to care that she’s just wound you up for the hundredth time this week and left you high and dry in the middle of a puddle with wild electricity sparking in the close distance.
A broken sob leaves your lips and your hips chase her fingers but its useless. Natasha doesn;t care that you're desperate, she doesn’t care that nobody’s fucked you good in days, it’s not about that right now. You lost the right to her sympathy when you decided to be a brat. Again. She remembers the last time you were in this position. She remembers leaves changing colors and apple cider always being in the fridge because you love it more than apple juice in the middle of October, and she remembers how your ass had gleamed red for days after Wanda bent you over the island because you just wouldn’t watch your mouth and mind your damn manners. It’s been a while since either one of them had dished out a punishment that actually forces you to think about your actions. It’s been a while since either of them have really fallen hard on their swords as dominic acts and truly sacrificed you to the wolves of letting go.
Natasha will never apologize for loving you to deeply to keep her roles separate. She will never apologize for loving you so much, she gives into your pouting face and crying eyes when you just need her more than anything else in the world. Wanda won’t either, and she’s notorious the hardest nut amongst you to crack. None of you care that your dynamics have been muddled with pathetically sweet domesticity and romance for months at this point, but its beginning to catch up with all of you now. You have all of these limits beneath your belts, all of these wild impulses that you only ever indulge in with each other, these kinks and desires are derived from real trauma, and real connection, and real willingness to be the most unapologetic version of yourself no matter how socially unacceptable, and she’s allowed all of you to forget that the beauty of building a dynamic outside of romance is the freedom to hold grudges and correct behavior. She won’t give in so easily anymore, because before you, she never would’ve allowed anything less than perfect obedience and that had been the one thing that lured you back to her workout classes.
“Please, Daddy!” You beg, and Natasha can’t help but smile at how desperate you sound for her already. She’s barely touched you, and she knows that's your problem,that the root of your begging is the pointed lack of attention her and Wanda have been giving you since Wednesday night in her head, but there's nothing you can do about it right now when she has the cards and its her body that pins you to the door and keeps you immobile beneath her.
“Turn around.” She muses without interest for your tears, she’s already wiped them away once, it wouldn’t be the first time she told you to strop cry before she deems it acceptable. Your cheeks always flame when she does that, like its your fault that she’s unmade you to the point of tears.
“No.” You choke on a desperate cry, reaching out to attempt to tangle your fingers into her hair, but she intercepts before you can succeed, and her grip on your wrists is strong as she pins your hands above your head and glares deep within your eyes like she can see every part of your soul and the privilege doesn’t astonish her. It does astonish her. She can’t believe that you;ve given all of yourself to her like this, but who would she be if she allowed you to read the gratitude rolling off of her so easily? “No, I want to touch you!” You cry out, trying to fight her, trying to convince her to let you win. Natasha knows you well. She knows when you’re being bratty, and she knows when you’re just so overwhelmed with pleasure and emotion that you just don’t even process what they’re saying to you. Sometimes she thinks you make up conversations in your head, but she knows that you’re just drunk on sensations they’re withholding and your body is desperately trying to make up for the lack of stimulation however it can. You’re somewhere in the middle right now. It’s not bratty defiance that keeps you and her in a standstill, wasting precious minutes before Wanda gets home, but its not entirely blind submission either. Your trying to keep yourself above the tide, key word is trying, because you’re failing faster than you even register, and Natasha knows if she plays her cards right you’ll be putty before Wanda even gets in the door. You’ll have no idea whats in stores or you then, and she knows you need that. You need to be caught off guard. You need to be grounded, and humbled, and reminded of your place beneath them. “I want to touch you, Daddy!”
“Daddy gets to decide when you’ve earned the privilege to touch me, and you haven’t yet, little girl, so turn around and stop whining before I give you a reason to stick that lip out at me.” The threat hangs in the air before you and it paints your face white with shock as your eyes meet hers with crystals of tears brimming in your waterline. You don’t have to think about complying on your own regard, because Natasha tugs you how she wants you against the door and doesn’t think twice before pushing your shorts down your legs once your cheek is flush with the wood she’d once thought about painting green after moving in.
You gasp when her hands brace against the globes of your ass, not making any pointed moves, but you know what she’s aiming for when she pulls your cheeks apart and allows cold air to assault your dripping, glimmering core. A whine escapes your lips when she drags a finger down the crack of your ass to your entrance, collecting wetness of the pads of her fingers that she then spreads around your puckered hole that holds tight to the princess plug keeping you open. She circles the jeweled base of the plug with disinterest almost, never grabbing at it, never pushing at it, she just circles it to remind you that it's there, that she’s the one who placed it there and gave you firm orders to keep it where it was until she took it out. At least you’d listened to her. She’d know if you didn’t. You can’t get the plugs in yourself, and it enrages you to no end when she’s away on a business trip and Wanda has no desire to pull them out of the closet where you keep all of the toys you cycle through routinely and healthily. This is Natasha’s fortier, it's one of the only things that she can give you that you haven’t learned how to give yourself. She hopes you never get comfortable enough with the plugs to put them in yourself. She hopes you always gasp and squirm like it's the first time anything has ever breached your puckered hole when she bends you over to do it herself from time to time. It’s intoxicating. you’re intoxicating.
The jewel is a baby pink color, shaped like a heart, but what matters most is the shade that you’d never thought specifically about until Natasha leaned in close to kiss you with lips glittering in arousal to tell that it matches the pink of your cunt after Wanda fucks you raw with the strap and she gets to lick you clean. You’ve never been able to keep your composure around baby pink since then. You still can’t now just imagine the sight she’s seeing as she spreads you open for her and fiddles with you however she pleases.
“How did it feel? Wearing this pretty plug to class today?” Natasha asks, leaning in to let her lips trail along the clammy skin of your neck that only aquires a thicker sheen the longer you stand without any airflow on parts of your body that matter. It’s hotter than hell in the house, or at least it feels that way to you, but the air that continuously brushes against your core is cold and unwelcoming.
”We had a study period in the- in the library.” You gasp when Natasha grabs the base of the plug and turns it clockwise just slightly, enough to let your ass feel the stretch of the plug as sit spins within you. The pleasure is intense, but only because anything would be enough to push you over the edge right now. “I— Daddy, please.” You beg when she presses the plug deeper into you once, and then twice, and then it seems like shes setting a tempo as she taps her fingers against the jewel.
“Keep telling me about your day.” Natasha directs, unbothered by your frustration and arousal, unaffected by the fact that she knows it's hard for you to think straight with her hands holding you apart like you’re some object to ogle, not even considering your prolonged frustration and desire. “Be a good girl for me.”
“I couldn’t sit still.” You whisper and your cheeks flame with embarrassment that you know she enjoys every second of. “Gave Wands m-my panties and was so sticky, Daddy! Please, it hurts. It was dripping all down my legs, and I just hope Kate didn’t see. Please Daddy, I need you.”
“Oh, so now you gave Wanda your panties. Spinning the narrative, are you?” Natasha quirks and eyebrow, and she pulls your gaze back to look at her with a tight grip on your hair. You whine, wince, your entire body tenses and becomes a light with electric sensitivity that has you gasping and moaning and writhing against the door with no reprieve. She slams you back against the door, her tongue clicking against her teeth as she reminds you to stay still, to be good for her, you’re not being good right now.
“I don’t know!” You cry out, dropping your face against the front door again when she lets go of your hair and instead grabs the base of the plug and plucks it free from the confines of your ass without any chance to adapt to the stretch or subsequent emptiness.
”You don’t know anything, because all you are is a slut for Daddy to play with.” She sighs against the shell of your ear like this isn’t a new development for her, and your chest burns with shame as you moan and thrash.
“No, please! I want it back, please Daddy. Please, I want it back. I want to feel good. Please, please. I want to feel good, I want you to make me feel good.” You're a mess of tears and pleas when it finally dawns on you that your ass spasms and clenches around nothing — that the only consistent pleasure you’ve found all day, for the first time in a week, has now been ripped away without so much as a soft, fake apology.
“Shh, come away from the door.” She guides you away softly, affectionately — the gentlest she’s addressed you since you first stepped inside the house. You think it’s because she’s giving in, letting you win, getting ready to led you to the couch or the bed nad make up for seven days without relief, but instead she forces you to stand still beside the front window where Wanda’s somehow appeared despite Natasha’s car still being in the driveway beside yours. She didn’t pull you away from the door to cut you a break, or even pretend to feel pity for your tears and quivering lip, but only so that Wanda could come inside and destroy you in her own way. “Hi, my love.” Natasha smiles brightly when Wanda steps inside the house, her hair glowing with the radiance of summer sunrays brightening her naturally vibrant waves. She drops her briefcase by the door, and you notice for the first time that she brought the meeting bag with her, not the bag she brings that had daisies on it and is filled with extra handouts she expects her students to have lost between their last meeting. You hadn’t noticed that this morning. You’d been too consumed with need that was left untouched.
“Hi.” Wanda smiles, drawing Natasha in for a warm kiss that makes you wonder if she’s still frustrated and mad about your disobedience and boldness. It’s evident that she’s still mad when she doesn’t glance in your direction, instead keeping her eyes on Natasha as both of them pretend like you’re not within ear shot. Wanda fishes the panties out of her pocket, and your cheeks burn as she holds them up to the light for Natasha to see clearly as well. “Ten minutes in these and they’re ruined.” She hums, and you whine like you’re incapable of formulating any kind of response or rebuttal. It’s futile, they're not talking to you, or even paying you any ounce of attention, but you still feel the need to interject because you just haven’ t learned that they’re not going to cave yet. That’s their fault, but you’ll learn.
“She was humping my fingers like a bitch before. I’d say she only made it worse for herself. The little exhibitionist was hoping that people would see her. Was hoping someone would notice that she’s dripping down her thighs like a slut. Couldn’t even behave herself and sit still in the library with Kate, apparently she was all over the damn seat trying to rub one out.” The words are vulgar and they cut against your sharply, enough to have you shaking on your feet by the television, hardly even aware of the face that your ass and your hips are in perfect sight for anyone outside to see.
“Oh yeah?” Wanda quirks an eyebrow, and it takes you a minute to realize she’s addressing you. There isn't an ounce of warmth in her tone as she crosses her arms and unmakes you with a cold sweep of her crystal eyes across your half naked frame, but she’s not looking at you like she hates you either. It’s sheer dominance and lust that overcomes her now, and it's a combination you’ve never seen so deadly and aimed solely at you. Natasha's been on her shit like like this before, but never you, never their good girl, their angel who has only ever seen herself over their knee for punishment four times in an entire years long relationship. Someone should be picking up on the signs, but nobody is. Not you, not Natasha, not Wanda. “Come here.” Wanda arches a finger when she realizes that you’re directly in front of the window and don’t even seem to register it. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve toyed with the idea of giving the neighbors a show, but even with the cold reserve she’s giving you, untempted by her love to go easy on you, it unsettles her to take your vulnerability for granted in any way, especially like this. If you seemed to realize you were giving anybody a show, if it seemed like showing off was an underlying current in the scene, maybe she would’ve left you there for a while after realizing, but she can’t stomach to do that now. She’s mean, she’s cruel, but she’s not a monster and there’s still boundaries to her wild fantasies that unmake you from the very inside out.
You only come close enough for her hands to reach you if they try, but she doesn’t invite you any closer when you stop to look at her uncertainty, so you take her silence as rejection and continue to stand on your own — cold, but so uncomfortably hot. “Is Daddy telling the truth? Were you acting like a slut in the library? Hoping anyone could see how wet you were?” She taunts, and the words creep up your veins until they reach the middle of your belly where pleasure and frustration and emotions you’re too hazy to name take over entirely.
“No!” You plead with her to believe you, because it had never been your intention to be anything but good for them in the library, but you just couldn't help yourself when your clit caught on the inseam of your jeans or you shifted just right on the chair, and you’d hoped Natasha would see the honor and integrity in your coming clean, but instead she’d weaponized it into this. You were in enough trouble without her meddling, and it turns your lips downwards, but you never have any leeway to say that it’s more than just the teasing that’s weighing you down, so Wanda never stops to consider your pout or sparkling eyes.
“So now Daddy’s a liar?” She digs deeper; sinks her claws into you unrelentlessly without even touching you at all. She doesn’t need to touch you to own you. You’re beneath the wings of her control so beautifully right now she almost hates to be so cruel. Almost. It’s a fleeting moment of hesitation that allows you to think you’ve found reprieve from punishment for a moment, but then she remembers that this is what she really loves when you peel her layers back like an onion, and just like an onion she makes you cry but you keep coming back for more because it adds something, it spices things up, it makes dishes complete and she completes you. And for a moment you think that maybe she’ll bend, that maybe she’ll wind you up with this teasing and condescension and then she’ll let you down soft, let it all be some elaborate mind fuck that renders you a blob beneath their touch, but then she sets her gaze on the staircase beneath your body, and her jaw is locked so tensely you think she might chip a molar. “You’re digging yourself a deeper hole the more you open that mouth, so why don’t you keep it closed and go wait for me upstairs. I want you naked and on the bed waiting by the time we get up there.”
“But I want—“ You’re ready to tell her exactly what you want. It takes a lot to get you to this point of open communication. You’re their shy girl, their innocent angel that still blushes when it comes to asking for sexual acts from your girlfriends, but they have you wanting enough to throw caution to the wind and scream to the entire town that you’re a whore; their whore. You haven’t been broken down entirely, but you’re so close to the edge of fuzzy bliss that you have no morals to stand firm on. You’re malleable in their hands, and they know how to make you into exactly what they want.
“I didn’t ask what you wanted. I gave you a direction, and I expect you to follow it. Am I clear?” Wanda takes a step toward you. Just one. She’s taller than Natasha. You know this, and you love this, but sometimes you forget that she’s only a couple inches away from reaching six foot, and she towers over you with a completion and complex you can’t even begin to mimic to even unsuspecting strangers. She’s alluring. That’s the simplest way to put it, and she unmakes you even further as she sizes you up and makes you feel small like you’re nothing to her. It’s been a while since you’ve fallen so heavily into these roles. It’s been a while. It’s an echo in your head, a warning to tread carefully, but you don’t see it as anything more than a reason to fight harder, claim victory and finally find release in your center.
Your head bobs — just once. It feels so simple to think about motions as numbers right now. One pass of Wanda’s eyes over your exposed thighs and hips. Two taps of Natasha’s heel on the hardwood as she waits for you to comply with the direction you’ve been given. Four seconds before you realize that Wanda’s waiting for words, and that you still haven’t moved even with your nonverbal acceptance. “Yes.” You whisper when you find the words on your tongue, and you think that it’s going to satisfy Wanda, that maybe she might praise you for finally finding the right choice to make, but instead she clicks her tongue against her teeth, and she cranes her head to the side, and her eyes squint as you like you’ve just done the worst thing you could do; not try at all.
“I know it’s been a while since we’ve played like this, but I didn’t think my angel was dumb enough to forget such a simple rule. Are you dumb, princess? Or are you just too needy to think straight?” Wanda sneers, and your face flushes with heat that makes your belly twist with something sickeningly sweet. It’s all encapsulating. You can feel it in your toes, and your gallbladder, and your left lung all the way into the very back section of your brain that probably does something really important and specific. You don’t know. It doesn't matter. The sky could be green and chickens could be flying, and still all that would matter to you would be Wanda and Natasha.
“Not dumb.” Your voice is breathy, soft enough to be delicate and breakable. Wanda knows you, she knows what you can take, and so she lets her eyes sweep across your body until they meet your eyes, and when she finds nothing but bubbling tension beneath your surface, she hardens her glare and crosses her arms over her chest, forcing her tits farther into your line of vision. She’s wearing a generic t-shirt, but she’s dressed it up with a pair of black slacks, kitten heels, and a blazer that you think she’s probably only worn for the commute there and back. Her bra is black, the thin strap sticks out from the collar of her shirt when she moves her arms, and the cups push her full breasts up even further. It's almost considered sinful by your standards, and that's a hard metric to meet, but Wanda does it without breaking a sweat.
“Then address me properly.” She settles you, and there’s nothing you can do to get out of this corner you’ve backed yourself into, so without any other choice, you submit to what she wants of you, and with that last ounce of control out of your grasp, your brain goes fuzzy around the edges until you’re taking the stairs one at a time at a pace that's almost robotic, but Wanda and Natasha are tuned in enough to know that you just can’t move any faster without your thighs creating friction that gets you in even more trouble. They laugh as you retreat, and the sounds of their echoing amusement following you into the dark, empty and cold master bedroom leaves a chill in your bones that you're not sure is ever going to warm again.
“Yes, Professor.” Your words echo in Wanda’s head even after you’ve disappeared into the bedroom. She assumes you’re doing what she asked, getting further undressed and settling into the bed with full intentions of being good for her, but she gives you time to marinate regardless. She kicks off her heels, kisses Natasha twice, three times, four times, until they’re backed up against the wall ripping off layers until it's bras and panties on both of them and t-shirts scattered on the floor beneath slacks and leggings. They don’t go any farther. As mean as they’ve been, as cruel as they still plan to be, it feels premature to go any farther when you’re waiting upstairs and Wanda hasn’t touched you since Sunday.
She thinks that Natasha took care of you. She was under the impression that you’d been given as many orgasms as you were allowed by Natasha while she was at work, handling end of year papers and exams that she just couldn’t focus on in her office at home. Her absence at home had been planned for weeks, she’d forearnderd you the day before she packed up all her favorite red pens and headed for the office that the next couple of days were going to be long without her home, but you had persevered and she had thought that your lack of whining over text meant that Natasha had satisfied you. Natasha just couldn’t keep the days straight without Wanda home to be nagging in her ear about recycling day and bulk collection day and how Pepper always goes to Yoga on Thursdays so she needs to stop counting on her to get finances in for the pilates class at her gym. She hadn’t realized that the last time she touched you was cruel and unsatisfying and four days ago, she has no reason to dwell on the specifics and she doesn’t even now. Not when Wanda breathes against her lips that she’s so happy its Friday, that she’s so relieved the semester ends next week and exams are two weeks afterward. It’s a small tidbit left undiscovered in a glass bottle on the coast. Her eye hasn’t caught the sparkling reflection of sunbeams bouncing off like warning signs.
Natasha enters the bedroom first. She glances at you, and she almost smiles when she finds you on the center of the bed, naked like Wanda asked, but holding a yellow throw blanket over your body as you shiver in direct line of the air conditioner that points toward the bed. She pads over to the thermostat without saying a word, turning the air off entirely though she knows that’s a dangerous game to play for later on when you’re all hot and sweaty and too tired to peel your bodies out of bed and deal with numbers and math and perfect temperature debates that never get settled but instead mulled over with compromises and grumbles of annoyed and reluctant compliance. For right now, she’s okay to sacrifice future comfort for present comfort, but there’s hardly enough time to take note of her wordless gesture because Wanda comes stalking in after her, and she pushes the door closed with enough force to have the sound reverberating through the bedroom. You flinch, grab the blanket a little bit tighter, and for a moment Natasha frowns, narrowing her eyes, trying desperately to see if there’s something beneath the surface that she’s missing, but your eyes are blown with lust, and you crane your body towards Wanda’s with a yearning desire that is so automatic you don’t even seem to realize you’re closing the gap between your bodies until the mattress dips beneath your ebbing weight and you nearly topple off of the bed.
“Drop the blanket and come here. Edge of the bed.” She clicks her tongue, her fingers too. It’s degrading. It makes your belly do flips and your eyes glaze over. “Spread your legs. Wider. Wider. Stop trying to hide from me.” She growls and the first touch of her skin against you is harsh and cruel and demanding as she spreads your thighs wider and opens up your cunt completely. Arousal drips from your entrance onto the bed sheets, pearls of glittering desperation unable to be hidden between your thighs any longer, and now that the moonlight shines upon those inches of skin too, evidence of lust is painted against your skin and it looks like it’s been that way for hours with the way your skin is red and raw with moisture. It’s pathetic, and it’s so unbelievably hot that Wanda isn’t even embarrassed to moan wantingly.
”She’s dripping.” Wanda hums, glancing over her shoulder to look at Natasha who hasn’t taken her eyes off of you yet, though she isn’t intent on unmaking your inner emotions anymore, but rather watching as Wanda sinks a finger between your thighs, spreads your labia, and prods your weeping hole with a featherlight touch only long enough to collect a bead of arousal on her fingertip and hold it up to the light. She pinches her fingers together, rubs the moisturized pads together until they’re both effectively lathered in slick, and then she pulls her fingers apart like they’re a sizzling mozzarella, and the pull of arousal following both of her fingertips makes your cheeks flame worse than any cheese pull ever has. You whine. It’s desperate, and wanting, and so small, but it only fuels Wanda further. She needs to feel you now. She needs to have her way with you for the first time since Sunday and remind you that you’re hers until the word goes up in flames. “You’re so sweet, princess. I could just eat you, but I won’t. No, I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet. Right now, I’m going to spank that pretty pussy raw, and then I think I’m going to fuck Natasha, and you’re going to watch it happen, and you’re not going to get more than I give you, and you’re not going to break me down, and you’re not going to complain. Do you understand me, detka? This is your only warning.”
You don’t have the words to answer her, so instead your fingers tap against your thigh twice, and for the very first time her lips curve into a smile and she nods like you’ve done something right. “Can’t find your voice? Too dumbed down to think straight?” She sneers, and her eyes are filled with something that you can’t decipher. Natasha knows its pride. She can practically see it dripping off of Wanda as she basks in your obedience even after deliberate disobedience for days on end. Again, neither of them realize that it’s been nearly a week since you’ve found peace with their touch. Again, neither of them realize that they’ve failed to communicate with each other and in turn left you stranded out in a sea you don’t know how to navigate on your own.
Neither of them realize you are giving them exactly what they want right now because it’s the only thing you can think to do to get any ounce of attention anymore.
Your fingers tap against your thigh again. Two times. Wanda nods acceptingly. “Good girl using your signals.” The praise washes over you like a blanket, and if you’d forgotten how you got into this mess at all, you remember now with every sense you have left in your head. The praise is warm, like sunshine or cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven and homemade in the dead of autumn. It wraps around your bones first, just hot enough to warm them for a moment before the feeling travels and it drowns your sensitive little heart in lightness that can only mean good things. It’s a momentary encouragement, but it’s enough to get you further into the scene at least. “Show me what stop is.”
Your fingers tap against your thigh twice, and then you stop, and then they tap three more times. Wanda doesn’t acknowledge you at first, so you repeat the action, and this time she nods with satisfaction that you remember. She doesn’t offer you any ounce of praise again, instead she just sinks behind you on the bed and wraps her arms around your waist until you’re flush against her chest and even more spread out than you were before.
There isn’t a warning before her hand comes down on your core with full force, her palm open, aiming to hit all of your sensitive parts with cruelty. It only takes one hit for you to realize that she wore rings today; more than just the promise ring Natasha had gifted the both of you on your respective one year anniversaries. The sting of metal is conflicting. It’s cold, sharp, what you imagine a venomous snake bite to feel like in the wild when it catches you by surprise and flashes through your veins with lighting speed. It’s a quick sensation, but it lingers on your labia and your clit and your weeping cole that caught the brunt of the friction from her palm that’s always rough with dryness.
Your hips jerk upwards, they chase her palm because the sensation is sharp, and it's painful, but as it ebbs away, it’s so sweetly pleasurable that your core jolts with burning desire to find more, to drown in it until there’s nothing left to feel or process besides euphoria. Wanda doesn’t like that. She doesn’t like that your hips jerk, and she wasn’t expecting them to. She doesn’t like that you’re still finding ways to misbehave even beneath her touch.
“Stay still.” She warns, her teeth nipping at your earlobe sharply. It stings, and she never soothes the ache with her tongue, and you whine so earnestly that Natasha almost feels bad, because she’s mean, but not as mean as Wanda, but she doesn’t feel bad enough to save you, and so nobody tends to the ache in your ear, or the pinch in your cunt when another slap doesn’t land in quick succession like you’d hoped. “Can’t even take a punishment. It’s like you’ve forgotten everything I taught you. Did you forget, detka? Do we need to start from the beginning? Reintroduce everything? Do you want to go back to only getting Daddy’s fingers because your tight little cunt can’t handle the strap?”
Your head shakes frantically, and you must look absolutely wild beneath the light that spills in from outside. The city is bright, shiny, dazzling, but Wanda Maximoff is a burning star and Natasha Romanoff is the very universe she explodes in and lights up with brightness that’s too hot to touch let alone look at nad see the full picture without being blinded and breathless and useless and you’re spiraling, you’re spiraling so far down into darkness that your train of thought abandons you and in the very moment that you lose all sense of where you are, drowning the scent ofWanda, and your arousal, and Natasha pacing across the room, apologetic but not enough to intervene, another slap lands between your legs and you howl with pain that becomes licks of tantalizing pleasure you can’t get enough of. You manage to stay still this time though. You don’t jerk, don’t chase her palm. You tense, you tighten, you bite down on your bottom lip until you almost taste copper, but you never move a single muscle.
Another slap comes down, and then another. She didn’t ask you to count them, so you lose count after the sixth. There must’ve been a nineteenth, because that number always makes Natasha laugh, and through thick tears in your eyes you registered her shoulders jostling from across the room before she’d turned away from the sight of you so completely unmade against Wanda’s chest to rummage through the closet. It weighs on you that she doesn’t even stick around to watch you be taunted and pulled apart so slowly and cruelly, it burns in your belly like shame, and for the first time you gasp in pain that has no pleasure, but before you can spiral, grasp onto sensations that have always been beneath the surface, that have fueled your every action since Wednesday afternoon, your brought back beneath the current of lust and willingness to do whatever the the hell they want when a slap comes down on your pussy that perfectly hits your clit. You're close. So close. Wanda knows. Of course she knows.
“Little sluts gonna cum from getting her cunt spanked!” Wanda calls out to Natasha, and your face burns with humiliation when you hear the thick laughter rumble from the closet. She slaps your core again, directly against your clit again, and that’s enough to have you dangling over the edge. You’ll take this orgasm. This orgasm that's going to be painful not just right now, but tomorrow morning when there's no pleasure left and only swollen lips and bruised skin, but for right now you’re willing to take it because it's the only thing they’ve given you outside of half asleep cuddles since Monday.
A gasp falls off of your lips when Wanda’s hand slaps against your clit again, but not with the same cruel pressure. It’s light. Deliberate. Your hips attempt to follow her palm when she retreats, her skin sparkling with slick, but she’s faster than you now, more coherent and intune with her body and its functions. She holds your hips down, forces your thighs wide. Your orgasm crashes over you and then it's gone, ebbing away into waves of pleasure that never dwindle, but never quite crash against the surface either. You’re sobbing, a mess of snot and tears, but no words escape you, and your fingers never tap your thighs, and your hands desperately shoot to Wanda’s wrists and try to pull them back to your core that weeps and drips lips a faucet or a widow, you’re not sure which one it is at this point — an inconvenience or a tragedy.
“Oh, you didn’t think I was just going to let you enjoy that orgasm, did you?” Wanda frowns, cupping your cheeks and bringing her thumbs against the damp skin, clearing away tears that are like diamonds on your flush skin. “Silly girl, you didn’t even ask for permission.” She clicks her tongue, and your brain is too fuzzy to comprehend that she’s blaming you for the ruined orgasm. She’d expected you to ask permission when she knew from the start that you couldn’t vocalize your wants even if you tried. It’s a thick blanket of something uncomfortable that smothers you when you realize that it had been a trap from the very beginning. You can’t handle another trap, another bout of teasing and creautly, but Wanda still has half of a plan to hatch, and you know she’s not going to stop unless you call it completely, but no part of you has the cognition to do that right now. Your brain is muddled, your thoughts aren’t your own, and the only thing you can process is them. Professor and Daddy. Professor and Daddy. Professor. Daddy. You need them. You need them fully and spiritually. You need them sinfully.
“Get on your belly.” Wanda moves away from you until her feet are on the floor and it's just you in the bed that feels too big for just your body. You do as she asks, even if you barely comprehend the task, and let your weight sink into the mattress as you finally lay down. It dawns on you now how tired you are, but Wanda can’t see your face, and Natasha watches your hands closely, but they never tap at your thighs in any fashion. You’ve always spoken up when something was too much. You’ve always used your signals when you were too deep into subspace to drop. She trusts you, and you’re showing clear trust in them, so they keep going, their reserves don’t break, and nobody sheds an ounce of pity as you whine and drip onto the comforter beneath your knees that Wanda props up like you’re just a doll for her to manipulate.
Somebody settles something between your legs, and only when your knees are guided back down and your hips are repositioned do you realize that it's the vibrator Wanda apparently bought three weeks after meeting Natasha. It’s big, and bulky, and you think superpowered though you have no proof, and when somebody flicks it on, you’re not sure who, it nearly sends you flying over the edge before somebody taps the button once, twice, three times and changes the setting to a low pulse that fades and goes at an uneven and deeply unsatisfying rhythm that you think must’ve been invented by a clueless man with no hobbies in life.
“You move a single muscle and I tie you up, understand?” Wanda waits for your fingers to tap against your thigh, even when it takes a full minute for you to process that she asked you a question at all. You tap twice, a silent confirmation of your understanding and acceptance, and so nobody thinks twice before they move on, Natasha pouncing on Wanda and stripping her out of her bra and underwear whilst Wanda does the same with her. They work in tandem. They always have. Wanda moves one way, Natasha moves the other. Even when Natasha’s searching for something dominating in Wanda, allowing her softer edges to shine through, they still move in harmony like its a practiced dance they’re showing you and ever so slowly teaching you. Even though you can’t see them, your face still buried in the blankets as your hips fight to remain still, you can imagine that they’re not moving with any less harmony and unity right now than any other moment you’ve witnessed them in. It makes everything ten times harder to handle, but when you finally do glance to the side, needing air that wasn’t restricted by the fabric that genuinely attempts to smother you in plain sight, you erupt into a whole new world of isolation when you watch Wanda hammer a dildo into Natasha’s cunt while the blonde’s fingers are burrowed between her legs, aiming to pull a quick and harsh orgasm from the redhead who doesn’t seem to have any complaints about not wasting time.
“Please!” It’s the first time you’ve spoken in a while, and your throat is scratchy and dry as evidence. You sound utterly pathetic, you look even worse, but there’s something soft about you as you fight to keep your head held up, twitching and jerking and so utterly helpless but in full control of your body. It’s addicting, alluring, intoxicating. It fuels Wanda on, but she doesn’t say a word, just rubs her thumb harder against Natasha’s clit and works the dildo faster, rougher, angling up to hit that spongy part in her walls that makes her head spin.
You can hear the vulgar squelches of their cunts as they work each other to orgasm, but you can’t distinguish which incessant squeak is Natasha’s and which is Wanda’s. They’re both moving too fast, with rhythmic paces that appear chaotic and unorganized to you right now. The soft tufts of hair between Natasha’s legs are red, ginger really, and they curl just slightly when she lets the bush grow out in the winter, but for summertime, her bikini line is cleanly waxed and her mound is adorned in only short strands of coarse hair that Wanda finds intoxicating to run her fingers over in the middle of the night aimlessly.
You’re still watching them when Wanda leans forward and captures Natasha in a kiss that looks bruising and rough and all encompassing, and your reserve breaks entirely when you watch them both come undone in climaxes that look satisfying and rewarding and soft as their fingers move slower and their wrists snap softly and they work each other through the height of blinding pleasure sweetly and tenderly — everything that you want, that you’ve been denied. It’s like they don’t care about you anymore. Do they not care about you anymore?
Suddenly it's hard to breathe, and even though Wanda never followed through on that threat of tying you down, you feel like your limbs are shackled to the bedpost and even though every nerve screams with oversensitivity from sensations you haven’t even been awarded yet, you can’t seem to move away from the vibrator that still torments your clit.
Natasha catches it first, the way you break,the way your knees lose their tension and your elbows unlock and your head drops against the bed like you just can’t bear the weight, and its confirmation that you’ve been off all along that has her rushing to your aid on the bed and quickly pulling the vibrator out from between your legs. “Hi, my love.” Her words are soft, sweet, so gentle you don’t recognize them and you continue to sob, gasping for breath, clawing at your throat, looking at her like you can’t even see her, twitching beneath her hands like you can’t feel them at all.
Natasha pulls you up into her lap, and apologizes when your clit catches on her thigh and pleasure shots through you so intensely that it hurts and you cry harder, coughing, spluttering, probably covering her with splatters of saliva but she doesn’t even flinch, doesn’t close her eyes and try to avoid the spray of your unruly emotions. She just lets you feel, and she lets herself feel, and she grounds herself in this moment because how did she not see it before? You’re never bratty. You’re never blindly disobedience nor are you rash or sexually impatient enough to do something as bold as slip Wanda your panties.
“It’s Friday.” Natasha blanches, her eyes trailing toward Wanda. She doesn’t let go of your cheeks, but she recognizes that you can’t hear her right now, that over the blood rushing in your ears and the sensitivity in your core not just from arousal but from Wanda’s unrelenting spanks too, you can’t even begin to process anything she’s saying. “I… I knew it was Friday, because I drove you to work, but I was convinced it was Wednesday because Pepper rescheduled the newsletter. Fuck.” Natasha pales, but Wanda’s still confused. Wanda still doesn’t know that you haven’t been properly touched in a week, or shown any kind of affection really, and so while she has sympathy and concern for your state, and her heart aches wondering where she went wrong, she’s not picking up on what Natasha’s trying to get across to her.
“What?” Wanda stalks closer. She’s unbalanced, slightly wobbly, but she doesn’t let it bother her anymore than she can control. You’re her entire priority, her entire world, and Natahsa’s scaring her immensely the longer she dances around the truth in burning shame and personal disappointment.
“I.. the last time I touched her was Monday. Did you let her cum at all?” She whispers and Wanda’s face pales, it’s her turn to realize that they’ve neglected you for days after scenes that warranted aftercare all on their own, let alone when they were strung together so closely and pointedly. She’d wanted to drive you crazy, she’d wanted to fuel you up, but then life had gotten busy, and it’s no excuse, but she’d forgotten all about your sexual escapades because it was just easy to move on with you. You take what life throws at you, and you always do it with a smile on your face — even when it’s breaking you apart.
“No.” Wanda shakes her head, and her hair falls over her shoulder and tickles her cheek as it sways and shifts with the motion of her head. “No, I told you to let her cum. I thought you did. Oh, my baby.” Wanda frowns, rushing the bed with a desperate urge to feel you and protect you. She can see it now, what she couldn't before, or perhaps didn’t want to. The blind devotion, the emotional withdrawal, the attitude and bratting. All the signs were there in theory, but you were just too damn good and appealing to their every desire. You were too damn good at sacrificing yourself for them even when the entire premise of your relationship is to do exactly the opposite. “It’s all done, moya lyubov. All done. Come back to me.”
It doesn’t happen right away. Not for a couple of minutes. But, eventually you begin to recognize hands on your cheeks, and you recognize hands on your lower back and thighs. Wanda touches you everywhere; wherever you can reach. Natasha stays in one place, she never moves, never even brushes her thumbs against your cheeks to clear your tears, she just holds your cheeks and keeps your eyes on hers even when Wanda moves around in your perphieral vision.
The ginger appears entirely calm, cool, and collected in your peripheral and hazed sense of cognition, she always appears so perfectly put together, but you know that she’s not somewhere deep inside of you. That small voice of reason doesn’t find a way out in this moment, instead, you drown in the promise that Wanda knows what to do, that Natasha won’t let you fall, and that they’re the only things that exist in this entire world even if they’re mean. that’s all you can think. Mean, mean, mean. You’ve stopped crying, but then your bottom lip begins to tremble again, and Natasha makes quick work of shaking her head and guiding you back to calm collectedness.
“Can I ask you a question, honey bee?” Natasha whispers, scared to hurt you, to scare you, to break you anymore than you already has. She recalls how you’d flinched when Wanda slammed the door unnecessarily and her heart clenches. She should’ve stopped the scene then. She should’ve trusted her gut in that single moment and stopped before it got to this point. Before it broke you so sinfully. She may like to see you cry, but she hates when it’s because she’s hurt you, failed to see you fully like she promised she always would. She loves when you tremble, when you twitch and jerk beneath her, but not when it’s from anxiety, when it’s because you’re so on edge and wound up that you don’t even know how to regulate your own emotions without her full guidance and attention on you. Wanda fares no better, but she can handle the mistake with grace because she has to, but Natahsa’s one tear away from joining you in your deep pit of darkness — dom drop. Wanda’s about to be playing a dangerous game if she doesn’t get the both of you under wraps before chaos really ensues.
“Natalia.” Wanda cuts in, and your eyes shot to her in alarm, a whine falling off your lips at her harsh tone. Wanda melts beneath your attention, scooping you up into her arms and leaving Natasha alone on the bed and still half dressed. “Idi, perevedi dukh i prinesi yey stakan vody. Tebe nuzhno uspokoit'sya, poka ya ne poteryal i tebya, ladno? (Go take a breath, and get her a glass of water. You need to calm down before I lose you too, alright?)” Wanda lets the words fall out naturally, like it takes no effort to switch back to Sokovian Russian and dance with Natasha intimately and personally. It dazzles you, it’s the first true glimpse at relief you’ve felt, and Wanda’s not lost on how you always seem to fold whenever her native tongue or accent comes out. You’re worse when its Natasha, and there’s evidence in your reaction as you whine and melt into Natasha like you’re just a little kitten desperate for warmth.
“I’ll be right back, printsessa.” She whispers, and her words are husked with a twinge of Russian that drives you absolutely crazy and clears the fog in your head just a little bit, but not enough to earn your voice back or pull away from Wanda’s chest at all. You nod, blink slowly, and grab at Wanda’s bra strap desperately until your knuckles are white and there’s no chance she can leave.
“I’m sorry we didn’t realize sooner, angel.” Wanda whispers once Natasha is out of earshot. Natasha may not be an outwardly emotional person most times. You can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve seen her cry, but you’ve learned that she’s more sensitive to failure and human mistake than Wanda is. If you were any clearer headed, you would’ve recognized that she’s beating herself up over this, but you don’t, so instead you just accept Wanda’s apology and believe her when she follows up with a whisper of, “It’ll never happen again.”
When Natasha comes back, she’s carrying two glasses of water and a protein bar that she only makes you eat when you don’t have enough energy to fight her because you hate the chalky taste. She feels like an asshole for bringing it to you now, but she always worries about you eating enough, call it a Russian stereotype, and she definitely would have brought Wanda one if she thought the ginger would’ve humored her for a second and even grabbed the bar when she handed it over. You weren’t as tuned into your surroundings, your cheek flush against Wanda’s chest as you cuddle as close as you can into her, desperately leeching her warmth. That’s another sign she missed, or maybe wanted to ignore. You’re always hot, their little furnace, but the second she’d come up to you shivering and hiding beneath the yellow blanket, she should’ve known something was wrong. She can’t change it now, and she can tell that Wanda’s already amended all that she can when you’re still so floaty, so she doesn’t waste time on another apology when you’re only half awake as it is, mindlessly chomping your teeth together because she’d fed you a bite of the protein bar when your eyes were closed.
“Off.” The first word off off of your lips is a breathy plead for more contact with Wanda, and she doesn’t hesitate for a second before she’s reaching behind her and unclasping her bra with one hand, freeing her breast for you to cuddle into all while Natasha merely admires the sight like she’s never seen it before. Not Wanda’s breasts, although she does spare a couple of seconds to admire them, but just how tender you are with them, how you let yourself be loved and comforted even when they caused it. She doesn’t deserve you, but she cherishes that you picked her regardless of her worth.
“Take a sip of water.” Wanda coaches when Natasha raises the glass to your lips but you refuse to drink, keeping your lips firmly pressed together and your hands on her breasts, squeezing, touching, just trying to feel as much as she’ll let you. She shifts when your weight becomes too much for her thighs, pins and needles shooting through her limbs, and you gasp when your clit catches on her thigh, and you're reminded of the sensitivity that is simultaneously blinding need. “Nu uh, not tonight, my love. Tomorrow I’ll make it all better, but we’re all done tonight. You were so good for me, so good, but it’s time to rest, so have a sip of water, and then were going to lay down and rest our eyes. We’ve had a long week, huh? You just need some cuddles and sleep to make it all better. I know. I know everything, baby girl. You never have to think when I’m here, so just stop, okay? No more thoughts, take a sip of water.” Wanda pauses, waits for you to comply, and when you do, greedily gulping down half of the glass when you realize how thirsty you are, she smiles. “Good girl. Such a good girl, my perfect girl. My best girl. That’s it, one more and then we’re going to lay down.”
You push Natahsa’s hand away after the last sip you take, feeling full and probably very buoyant fi you tried to go for a swim out back, but you don’t even think to move when you realize you have to pee, or that Wanda and Natasha haven't peed yet despite always going after a scene. You don’t have the entry to remind them, and Wanda, the stickler of the two, doesn’t seem to mind, so you don’t say anything that doesn’t need to be said. She guides you down into a laying position, soft and slow, cautious of the sensitivity in your head after so much crying. It makes you dizzy regardless, and you whine into her chest as she shifts and gets you comfortable.
“Shh, I know. I know. You’ve had such a long day, my brave girl. It’s all over now. All you need to do is close your eyes.” Wanda’s fingers tickle your back, gentle patterns that mean nothing but hold the potential of everything luring you to sleep until you jolt with sudden anxiety, reaching out for Natasha who seems too far away and too clothed.
“Off.” You huff again, and she laughs, but this time not like she did before, when it was cruel and mean and uncomfortable to handle and stand beneath without wilting. It’s soft now, charming, that laugh that fills you with light and love and energy, but there’s no energy right now. You’re tired, burnt out. You settle equally into her chest and Wanda’s when she takes her bra off, throwing it onto the floor to be added into the laundry later on along with your clothes and hers and Wanda’s that are still downstairs in the living room in a heap.
When your eyes finally close, and you fall asleep, you don’t wake up until one o’clock the next afternoon, but Wanda and Natasha are still beside you, wrapped up in bedsheets and t-shirts that drown them and conceal their chests from sunlight. For the night though, their skin is yours to feel fully beneath every inch of your body, because it had been far too long since they gave into this instinctive pleasure that keeps you all going. Never again would they let a week pass without prioritizing this — you. You’re everything to them, and Wanda tells Natasha as much before her eyes close, sleep winning the battle as you breathe deeply and evenly between them.
1K notes · View notes
midniqhtt · 2 months ago
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james buchanan ‘bucky’ barnes
masterlist • marvel • 06/19/25
˚‧⁺ ・ ˖ · ୨ৎ recs five
one two three four
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𑣲 how to impress a 21st century girl I @brunchable
Sam had forced Bucky to use Tinder to solve his abysmal love life. Bucky tells himself that if third time isn't a charm, he will officially give up trying to find a partner.
𑣲 i don’t want you like a best friend pt2 I @/brunchable
Bucky can't decide if the universe loves him or hates him. Maybe it loves to hate him. Maybe it's mischievous. Because he’s in love. He’s madly, deeply, painfully in love with a girl that he knows he’ll never have. Because the heavens created arguably the most perfect creature in their repertoire, dangled you in front of him for his entire life, and chose to rip you away before he had the chance to tell you how he felt.
𑣲 the best worst day ever I @jobean12-blog
You're having a shit day but then you see a dog and things start looking up...
𑣲 game night I @mugglebornmarvelite
Steve’s mandatory game night takes a turn when you and Bucky are paired up.
𑣲 bleeding heart I @mournthebird
You're his assigned nurse.
𑣲 domestic ws / soldat hcs I @/mournthebird
𑣲 cold metal I @/mournthebird
Soldat's arm gets cold. You are the solution.
𑣲 shower suds I @/mournthebird
You give Soldat his first bath out of captivity.
𑣲 silver and garnet I @/mournthebird
Soldat hurts himself a lot.
𑣲 condition I @/mournthebird
Soldat refuses to sit down, you notice he's in pain.
𑣲 gentle hand I @/mournthebird
Soldat has a panic attack.
𑣲 stained I @/mournthebird
Soldat continues to have nightmares.
𑣲 apricot toast I @/mournthebird
Soldat doesn't understand care can be without price.
𑣲 knots I @/mournthebird
You help the soldier with some self care.
𑣲 honey girl I @violentdelightsandviolentends
The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the Universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.
𑣲 bucky can’t stand you I @buckyalpine
𑣲 mob!bucky I @/buckyalpine
𑣲 easy I @jaggedamethyst
life with bucky is amazing…but it’s easy to feel like you’re not enough when your relationship is a secret.
𑣲 sugar and skin pt2 pt3 pt4 I @tteotlma
Bucky’s never been sure if normalcy is something he’s cut out for. But when he meets you—a baker with a pretty smile—he starts to think maybe he could try.
𑣲 toy soldier pt2 pt3 pt4 pt5 pt6 pt7 I @vunblr
She had been the tool Hydra used to keep him operational; he, the weapon manipulated by their tendrils to execute their ambitions. Years after breaking free, fate Sam Wilson brings them together once more. Now, they must navigate the challenges of forging a connection beyond the twisted dynamic that once bound them in the past.
𑣲 to mend a soldier I @/vunblr
Pressed by a worried Sam, Bucky reluctantly agrees to try an alternative -and, if you ask him, weird- therapy program: rent-a-mom. What starts as an obligation soon turns into something far more meaningful than he ever expected.
𑣲 what if…? I @/vunblr
Bucky navigates his insecurities and guilt from his past as he grows closer to his new neighbor, a nurse.
𑣲 roots and branches pt2 pt3 pt4 I @/vunblr
Bucky has built a quiet life in the woods, content to keep the world at arm's length. But when a new neighbor moves to town, her presence ignites emotions he’s hesitant to face.
𑣲 foundations pt2 pt3 pt4 pt5 pt6 pt7 I @/vunblr
Bucky is doing his best to build a stable life for his newfound son, rescued from the guts of a Hydra facility. As he struggles with unexpected fatherhood and his own circumstances, he meets someone who slowly becomes part of their lives, establishing a connection he never saw coming.
𑣲 plump and ripe I @/vunblr
On a routine visit to the fruit shop, Bucky ends up with more than his usual goodies.
𑣲 built to last I @/vunblr
Bucky took up carpentry to keep himself busy, but didn't expect a hardware clerk to make him want more.
𑣲 touched starved I @mrsbuckybarnes1917
You accidentally walk in on Bucky touching himself when he thinks he is alone. Turns out he is thinking about you.
𑣲 a quiet escape I @thebarneschronicles
During a holiday stay at Clint Barton’s home, you’ve been desperately trying to steal a moment alone with Bucky—your super-soldier boyfriend—but the Avengers are constantly interrupting. Between Clint’s kids, Steve’s “bromantic” grocery runs, and Nat pulling Bucky into sparring sessions, it feels like you’re constantly fighting for his attention. Frustration finally boils over when you confront Bucky about your lack of privacy, only to discover he’s just as eager for some alone time as you are - and willing to do anything to get it.
𑣲 deny me I @drewbarymore
In which you feel like Bucky’s ashamed of you.
𑣲 dreamscape I @wkemeup
When Bucky falls under the spell of a Djinn, the line between fantasy and reality blurs. In order to survive, he must fight his way back to the real world - even if it costs him everything he's ever wanted.
𑣲 someone’s calling my name (and it sounds like you) I @mellowsaturns
after a mission gone wrong, bucky finds himself on the brink of unconsciousness and then you show up which causes him to reveal his true feelings
𑣲 mine I @cherrypickertheory
A new recruit joins the team, and gets a little too close to you for Bucky’s liking.
𑣲 dial tone I @atlaese
𑣲 lessons in lovemaking pt2 pt3 pt4 I @artficlly
You and Bucky Barnes go undercover as a married couple, but when a fake kiss gets too real, he unexpectedly finishes in his pants—leaving you both stunned.
𑣲 bitter I @/artficlly
Bucky doesn't do relationships, but maybe you'll be the one to change him
𑣲 his girls I @/artficlly
alpine barely tolerates anyone but bucky, so when she curls up in your lap without a second thought, the team is left reeling—especially when it leads to the not-so-subtle revelation that you and bucky have been sneaking around for months.
𑣲 loverboy I @thevillainswhore
Bucky, a lovesick, pining super soldier, vows to keep his feelings for you a secret — no matter how obvious his crush may seem. Those plans are ruined between a meddling Sam, an embarrassing fall, and a visit to the medbay with you.
𑣲 revenge sweeter than honey I @/thevillainswhore
When Bucky’s professor unfairly grades his college assignment, ruining his perfect GPA, he finds a way to get revenge — And doesn’t his sweet little wife look delicious?
𑣲 do i even have a chance? I @noceurous
you’ve found him and he was sure he didn’t have a chance
𑣲 b.b. boy I @bucky-bucket-barnes
Bucky and you have been friends ever since he arrived that rainy at the Compound. Silently pining, you’d hope he would pick on the numerous hints you dropped. It’s not until a small miscommunication happens that he confronts his feelings for you.
𑣲 hooked on you I @elysium-library
𑣲 which avenger are you destined to date I @marvelettesassemblenow
When Natasha found out about the Quiz which showed which Avenger you should date, the Avengers decided they all should take the test and go on these dates.
𑣲 your touch I @/marvelettesassemblenow
Bucky hadn’t been long at the compound when he noticed that others sought you out to calm down. So slowly he started too and had to figure out his feelings for you
𑣲 the catalyst I @aquaticmercy
In this universe, you and Bucky are happy. In other universes, it might not be that simple.
𑣲 jackass I @/aquaticmercy
Everyone is horrified that Bucky is flirting with a married woman, but then they realise there's a reason why. 
𑣲 have we met before? I @/aquaticmercy
America Chavez says that you and Bucky are together in every universe. 
𑣲 laryngitis I @skaye44
You're super talkative and your fellow agents tease you, but you don't care. You always chat up the quiet hunky super soldier who always manages to spend some time around you. One day when you can't talk due to an illness, Bucky gets concerned and seeks you out to make sure you're ok. He ends up talking to you for once.
𑣲 arm pat I @/skaye44
You go on a date with Bucky and hit it off, or so you think, but it ends weirdly. Nat steps in and gets other agents involved to send you flowers and gifts to get Bucky's attention and make him jealous for screwing up.
𑣲 stuck in the middle I @helaintoloki
you come home from work to find the last person on earth you want to see cooking dinner in your kitchen
𑣲 somethin’ stupid I @/helaintoloki
a drunken confession spoils a perfectly good evening
𑣲 everybody loves somebody I @/helaintoloki
Thrown into a blind date against his will, Bucky does his best to prepare in the days leading up to Saturday night, a feat that proves to be much more difficult than expected thanks to his neighbor across the hall.
𑣲 back to you I @/helaintoloki
Yelena’s interest in y/n forces Bucky to confront his feelings for her as the Thunderbolts take refuge in her home
𑣲 a favor I @/helaintoloki
you pretend to be Bucky’s girlfriend in order to help his campaign despite your very real feelings for him
𑣲 misunderstanding I @/helaintoloki
you accept Bucky’s invitation to attend Tony’s charity gala as his date, but your night quickly turns sour when you find out about his bet with Natasha
𑣲 40s!bucky I @/helaintoloki
after accidentally sending yourself back in time, you run into a younger version of the man you loathe only to find yourself questioning your feelings for him
𑣲 it’s been calling me I @godmadeaterribleerror
You've had these… dreams. Strange, realistic, detailed dreams of the same man, almost your whole life. But they're just dreams. You've been so sure, for so long, that they're just dreams. So sure, until you're not.
𑣲 the time thor third wheeled I @mercurial-chuckles
𑣲 option two I @nev3rfound
after nightmares continue to haunt his nights, bucky knows there’s one person left who could potentially provide some form of comfort, but is she still willing to see him after all this time?
𑣲 shut up I @fandoms-writings
𑣲 his only contact I @cjsinkythoughts
𑣲 the soldier and his mission I @magical-reid
When a trigger sends Bucky back into the grip of the Winter Soldier, he shadows you with an unyielding protectiveness that leaves the team on edge, though he doesn't harm anyone. After days of tension and careful steps, Bucky finally breaks through the icy barrier, returning to himself in a quiet, tender moment, finding solace in your presence.
𑣲 from one perfect moment pt2 I @yikesdrama
bucky’s birthday is coming up soon and you just want to do something special for him, maybe even take a time travelling trip to see his maa….
𑣲 the third wheel I @writing-for-marvel
When Bucky finally asks you out on a date, the last thing you expect is for his high school crush Connie to also have been invited.
𑣲 in too deep pt2 I @marvelstoriesepic
After Bucky calls, and you come running, you end up locked in his bathroom, trying to get rid of the evidence that something hasn’t gone well this time.
𑣲 drabble I @eufezco
𑣲 drabble I @bcksbarnes
𑣲 echos I @brokenbarnes
Bucky's worst nightmare comes true. You come back to him after taking a turn in Hydra's electric chair.
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aajjks · 7 months ago
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Love and War (m)
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warnings: vèry lóng, híghly 18+ thèmès, èxplïcït smüt/sèx, únprótèctèd sèx, chèátíng, górè, múrdèr, prègnáncy, lônlíness, èxplïcït víölèncè, blóód, yándèrè cháràctès, bördèrlínè cóffèè àddïctïön, dàrk j��ngkóók.
pairing: yandere police officer jungkook x fem!Barista reader
genre: strictly 18+ killer fic, rated M, Gore, thriller and erotica
word count: 6,000
note. My fingers have been hurting so much these days because I’ve been dedicating a lot of time to writing this. I started this draft on October 14 and now I have finally finished it today and I wanted to publish this because I have worked hard on this so much I’ve done a lot of extensive research so please guys like it and re-blog it. This is worth a read I promise please please send feedback and let me know what you think because I really need it.
•••
This case in particular is brutal.
As Jungkook sits in his office space, he’s looking at the latest crime scene pictures. And they are brutal, the man’s throat is literally spilling out, tongue cut off.
There’s so much blood.
Seodaemun-gu is particularly cold, and he’s been working overtime, as an inspector he’s been pretty busy thanks to a psychotic serial killer who’s been targeting a lot of men lately
This is the 17th victim.
Jungkooks been trying to piece the puzzle together, he picks up the warm cup of coffee and gulps down another sip, his furrows his eyebrows, he knows that it’s just one person doing all of these killings.
The pattern of killing is too similar, the gore, the marks, the method.
There is a familiar drug found in every single one of the victims bodies.
“Fuck.” He curses as he drops the pictures on the table, he needs to catch the killer before it’s too late, it is too late anyways.
October isn’t so kind this year, it is harshly cold. And this case has his whole attention. “I’ll catch you, psycho.” He mutters under his breath.
He will catch the psycho before Halloween.
Jungkooks grip on his cup tightens. He will make this killer pay. Just as he’s staring at the pictures again, his phone rings.
He sighs, averting his gaze to his phone as he picks it up, a small smile playing on his face. “Hey baby!!!” He grins speaking into the phone.
He loves his girlfriend so much. She’s the only thing that is making him happy these days.
“Hey koo!” as she greets him back, he cannot stop smiling, “ahh so are we still on for tonight?” He asks slyly, she makes him so happy.
There is a silence for a few seconds, but he waits patiently for her response, Jungkook holds the phone up his ear, waiting.
“Oh… sorry baby but no, I’m kinda busy tonight. You know this assignment is keeping me up all night. I can’t I’m so sorry.”
His smile falters.
“U-Uh..”
This is the third time.
“Umm it’s okay.” he replies, playing it cool but honestly, he’s a little upset because she’s been doing everything but spending time with him and he’s the one trying to solve a fucking murder case.
“Don’t be upset koo… I swear I’ll make it up to you.” He sighs. “It’s okay baby. I…understand.” Jungkook knows there’s no point in arguing.
He just misses her.
After talking to her for a few minutes, he finally ends the call. It’s time he refocuses on the case.
What he should be focusing on right now is catching the killer
And not the fact that his girlfriend is literally ignoring him for the past days, he’s barely seen her face this month, it’s bothering him, but he cannot afford to be distracted right now.
There cannot be an 18th victim.
He won’t let it happen.
•••
It’s lonely
But at least now he gets to go to his favorite coffee shop and drink, coffee in peace while staring out at the view, honestly speaking the view isn’t that special but jungkook likes to have some free time to himself just so he can reconnect with the world.
he enters the coffee shop, the bells above jingle as the door opens, it’s not too crowded today which is a good thing because the less the crowd the more he can focus and think.
Only a handful of people who are drinking and waiting for their orders as he approaches his table. Jungkook sits down on it, taking the chair out.
He scans the area. He likes how peaceful it is here because his job is not peaceful or neither cute, he has just come back from seeing a gruesome murder scene and this is exactly the detox He needs right now.
“Hey!!! Mr Jeon?” his snap of his thoughts when the barista calls out his name, he turns to look ahead, and smiles seeing the familiar face.
“Hey Ms yn! How’s it going? I think I’m just gonna have the regular.” He tells, looking at you, and you nod, you’re a sweet girl.
You’ve been serving him coffee for the past year almost, “well got it! Maybe I should get you some brownie too; of course courtesy of me.” You laugh, “looks like you really could use some sweetness in your life since you work so hard”
He laughs a little, shaking his head. “yeah you’re right. It’s been quite bitter these days.” He mutters to himself almost.
You walk away. impatiently, he waits for his coffee.. He might have an addiction, but it’s OK. Caffeine is necessary when you’re a police officer.
Sometime later you come back with his order. And he looks at you, thanking you.. “thank you Ms yn. Appreciate you for putting up with me.” he jokes, you give him a kind smile, “oh Mr Jeon how about you Just call me yn?” You insist and he almost blushes.
“Ahhh sure sure I will but only if you call me by my first name too.” He waves his hand, picking up his coffee to take a sip, and the smell of the brownie just fills his nostrils and he hums in delight
“The brownie smells so good and this coffee is awesome. Thank you so much.”
You wink in return, which has his cheeks actually burning up
You’re bold and you’re confident and that he appreciates about you because maybe you like him a little and you don’t really make an effort to hide the fact
“Okay.. I’ll go now have fun” he watches as you go away.
And he can’t help but feel his heart flutter in his chest.
•••
A few days later, his same routine just goes on and on, but there is not a single point that he has been able to catch, which could help him actually lead to the killer
And his days are only getting worse. There’s an emptiness that he’s starting to feel. Honestly, he feels like a failure.
A failure of a boyfriend and a failure of an inspector.
Jungkook steps into his dimly lit apartment, shrugging off his rain-soaked jacket. The warmth of the place feels hollow, as if reflecting the emptiness creeping into his chest. He slumps onto the couch, running his hands through his damp hair. His mind is a mess, caught between the horrifying images of the latest crime scene, Mina’s growing distance, and the subtle comfort he finds in your quiet presence at the café.
He pulls out his phone and stares at Mina’s name in his contacts. Something in him snaps, and before he can overthink it, he presses “Call.”
It rings longer than it should.
“Hello?” Her voice is clipped, impatient.
“Mina. Can you come over?” he asks out of desperation because he so lonely, and he needs to feel her love and her warmth.
“It’s late, Jungkook. I’m busy.” he understands it. She’s been busy, but it’s been so long since he’s been with her physically and she keeps on being distant.
He’s starting to break, his face falls, and his voice hardens at her sudden coldness.
“Busy with what?” he demands, the sharpness in his voice surprising even himself. he gripped the phone tighter and waits for her response with a thumping heartbeat.
There’s a pause, long enough for unease to settle in his gut. “Work,” she finally says, but the word feels rehearsed, flat.
“Bullshit.” He stands, pacing the small living room. “You’re lying to me.” he knows that she’s lying. Does she really think that he’s that stupid?
“Excuse me?” Her tone hardens, defensive.
“You’ve been distant for weeks,” he says, his voice rising. “The late nights, the dodged questions, the way you look at me like I’m a stranger. If there’s something you’re hiding, Mina, I deserve to know.”
She exhales sharply, a sound halfway between frustration and guilt. “You’re paranoid, Jungkook. You’re always at work, always chasing some killer. Maybe the problem isn’t me—it’s you.”
“That’s not an answer,” he snaps. “You think I don’t notice the way you’re pulling away? The phone calls you don’t take around me? If you don’t want to be with me, just say it.”
Her silence cuts deeper than any words could.
“You’re impossible,” she finally says, her voice trembling with suppressed anger. “You think everything revolves around you and your job, but you don’t even see what’s right in front of you. Maybe I have been distant, Jungkook, but can you blame me? You’re so wrapped up in your case that there’s no room for anything—or anyone—else.”
He clenches his fists, his nails digging into his palms. “You’re deflecting. Just tell me the truth, Mina. Are you seeing someone else?”
Her sharp intake of breath tells him everything he needs to know.
“Mina,” he growls, his voice low and dangerous.
“I’m not doing this,” she says, and the line goes dead.
Jungkook stares at his phone, his breath coming in ragged bursts. The quiet of the apartment feels suffocating, pressing in on him from all sides. He throws his phone onto the couch and grabs his keys, his mind a whirlwind of anger, betrayal, and something he can’t quite name.
But for a fact, he knows that he’s lost Mina forever. And the realization dawns on him as he stares at his phone screen. He’s alone once again like he has been for a month.
But maybe this time, forever
And it doesn’t take him long to break down in his apartment. He’s so alone and maybe he will be forever. Why can nobody ever love him?
Is he not deserving of love?
•••
The coffee shop is dark except for the faint glow of a single lamp by the counter. You’re wiping down the tables, your movements unhurried, as if you have all the time in the world. The sight of you—calm, grounded—makes something in Jungkook loosen, just slightly.
You look up as he enters, the chime of the bell breaking the silence.
“Jungkook?” you say, surprised. “It’s late. What are you doing here?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, just walks over to the counter and leans against it. “I needed to get out of my head.”
You study him, noting the tension in his jaw, the shadows under his eyes. “Rough day?”
He laughs bitterly. “You could say that.”
The way you look at him, makes his heart flutter in an abnormal way, maybe it’s the loneliness that he’s making behave like this but you’re gaze actually drives him crazy
You hesitate for a moment before stepping around the counter, standing a little closer to him. “Want to talk about it?”
“No,” he says quickly, then softens. “I just… I don’t know. Everything feels like it’s falling apart.”
You nod, not pushing him for details. Instead, you reach for the bottle of whiskey you keep hidden behind the counter for nights like this. You pour him a glass and slide it across the table.
“Here,” you say. “On the house.”
He takes a sip, the burn in his throat a welcome distraction from the turmoil in his mind. “Thanks.”
You sit down beside him, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence. But you can feel his eyes on you, heavy and searching.
“You’re always here,” he says suddenly, his voice soft.
“Someone has to be,” you reply, your lips quirking into a small smile.
“You know Y/N? I’m so fucking alone. My girlfriend is probably cheating on me. She doesn’t care about me…. No one cares about me.” His voice breaks on the last sentence.
You look at him with pity and something deeper swimming in your gaze, but he doesn’t know how to pinpoint it, you urge him to continue so he does.
He chuckles, but it’s humorless. “It’s more than that. You don’t know what it means to me, Y/N. Just… knowing there’s someone who gives a damn.”
Your heart skips a beat, but you play it cool. “Well, you look like you could use someone in your corner.”
He turns to you then, his gaze intense, and for a moment, neither of you speaks. The air between you feels charged, electric
“Why do you care so much?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
You hesitate, your pulse racing. “Maybe I just like seeing you smile.”
You’re the first person who has ever said that to him, and in that moment, he realizes that your silence is the only silence that doesn’t feel suffocating.
You look at him with such a deep emotion that it makes him go crazy, what are you doing to him? Why do you care about him so much?
You’ve been there for him since day one. You’re so comforting so kind and so nonjudgmental.
You listen to him rant, Complain, but you don’t say anything every time.
The more he looks at you, the more his heart keeps on thumping, inside his chest and alcohol just rushes through his body, and suddenly his pants feel so achingly tight.
The silence between you both is charged with tension, a tension that makes shivers go down his spine, you’re looking at him in a way that has him hallucinating that you want to lure him in.
He just wants to drown in your embrace, feel you in a way that no one has ever, he just wants to bury himself to hilt inside of you so maybe he can feel wanted again, and maybe he will feel safe for once.
His breath hitches, and before either of you can think better of it, his lips crash into yours.
•••
The back room of the café becomes a blur of heat and desperation as you both stumble in while he’s busy, shoving his tongue on your throat. It’s not tender—it’s raw, messy, driven by an ache neither of you can name. He breaks the kiss after it feels like hours, and he dips his head low and you feel his hot wet lips on your neck, His hands are rough against your skin, his lips leaving trails of bruises along your neck.
“Jungkook,” you whisper, your voice breaking as his hands grip your hips. It feels so fucking good. The desperation and the need is driving you insane.
You can feel his muscular body, he’s so perfect. You have dreamed of this moment for the longest time. But you never really thought that it would come true.
But as he kisses your neck, his lips burn on your skin. And that makes you realize that this is your reality. You are finally getting to live your dream.
You moan out his name again breathlessly gripping on his shoulders so tightly as he attacks your neck, whispers of his name leave your mouth, you’re getting breathless, just by him kissing your skin.
That’s how much you want him.
He doesn’t respond with words, only pulls you closer, his movements frantic. It’s as though he’s trying to drown in you, to forget everything outside of this moment.
His scent is so exotic, he’s always smelled so good whenever he’s visited the café, his son is so stronger it surrounds the whole café and right now you’re so close to him. It’s getting you high.
You know that he’s drunk, he’s so fucking drunk and vulnerable, but you cannot bring yourself to stop him, especially not when he pushes your panties down, his lips hot on your collarbones.
How can you bring yourself to stop him when he’s suddenly licking his fingers, as he takes them out you, you stare at him, they’re glistening with his Saliva.
He’s so beautiful and so handsome, and the most sexiest man you’ve ever seen.
You can only encourage him, and you do that, when he finally starts to push his two digits inside of you, your hips buck up.
You’re so fucking wet it’s embarrassing.
He scissors them inside of you, curling them inside your gummy walls, hitting that spot that has you seeing stars, immediately and he’s barely even started
“AGGH…” you moan out loudly, He groans at the sound, sinking his teeth in your neck once again, he’s so needy right now, you feel his body temperature burning.
You’re burning up too.
Jungkook whispers in your ear, “take off my boxers.”
And you do, after that you start stroking his hard thick length, he’s so big, as you stare down at it, you gasp because it’s leaking already and it’s angry.
He’s been neglected for the longest time, you actually hate his girlfriend, but good for you. You get to feel him inside you like this.
He’s hungry for this. As you finally start to do the magic of your hands, he lets out a guttural moan, it’s so loud, and it rings in your ears.
you love the sounds he’s making right now. He sounds so hot almost like an animal in heat.
But he starts fucking your hand furiously, you lift his head up from your neck to look at him and you just want to keep him with you forever
He’s so beautiful.
He’s drooling, his eyes are closed as he feels the pleasure that you are giving him, the pleasure that he’s been denied for the longest time.
“T-Thank you so much for this because you have no idea how much I need this you have no idea how much I need you… yn- ngh… I’ve been dreaming about this… how about you… and you feel so much better than my imagination”
Jungkook cannot wait anymore though, just as he’s close, he wraps your legs around his waist and gently removes your hand, kisses you hard as he shoves his cock in your warm pussy.
“Let me feel your pussy, I need you, baby…” he begs, you grip his shoulders and kiss his cheek. He lets out a shuddering breath once your heat cages him in.
He starts moving his hips at a really fast pace, he’s jackhammering into you, Jungkooks moaning is echoing throughout the back room.
“NGHH mhmm AHHHG…. AHHH…”
The pleasure that you’re feeling right now is the most that you’ve ever felt in your life and you never knew that you could feel this good while having sex.
The sex with him is feeling so hot, so good and so fucking raw.
He’s so big you can see it bulging from inside of you, you gasp.
“Cum… please Cum inside me.”
You press desperate kisses on his neck, and on the hollow of his throat He’s so vocal about this. So hot. And then he lets out a desperate mewl as he cums inside your cunt.
It’s hot, thick and full as he fills you up to brim.
But it’s starts leaking out because it’s so much, you can feel it running down your thighs.
“You felt a-ah… so fuckin good, yn.”
When it’s over, the two of you lie tangled together on the worn couch, your breaths mingling in the quiet.
“I’m sorry,” he says suddenly, his voice hoarse. “I shouldn’t have—”
“Don’t,” you cut him off, resting a hand on his chest. “Don’t apologize.”
He looks at you, his eyes searching for something he can’t find.
“You’re not alone, Jungkook,” you say softly. “Not anymore.”
But as he drifts off to sleep, your words echo in his mind, and unease curls in his chest.
•••
The first rays of sunlight filter through the cracks in the blinds, casting faint streaks across the cramped backroom of the café. The room is quiet, save for the sound of Jungkook's breathing. He lies awake on the couch, staring at the ceiling, your head resting on his chest, your arm draped over him like a lifeline.
The memories of the night before play in his mind on an endless loop-your soft moans, the way your body had responded to his touch, how you had whispered his name like a prayer. He feels a pang of guilt, but not for what he did. He doesn't regret it. Not the way your warmth had pulled him from the cold void he'd been living in, not the way you made him forget the weight of the world for a few fleeting hours.
What eats at him is the realization that he used you-your body, your kindness, your feelings— for his own selfish needs. And yet, as much as the guilt gnaws at him, a darker truth lingers: it had felt so good. You had felt so good.
Your breathing changes, pulling him from his thoughts. You stir slightly, your fingers twitching against his chest before you lift your head to meet his gaze.
"Good morning," you say softly, your voice thick with sleep.
He swallows hard, unsure of what to say.
“Morning,” he replies, his voice quieter than he intends.
You sit up slowly, the blanket slipping from your shoulders as you adjust yourself on the edge of the couch. For a moment, neither of you speaks, the weight of what happened between you hanging in the air.
“Are you okay?” you ask finally, breaking the silence.
“I don't know,” he admits, running a hand through his disheveled hair.
You bite your lip, looking down at your lap. "Last night..."
“Wasn't supposed to happen,” he says, cutting you off.
You flinch slightly but force a small smile. “I know,” you murmur.
He sighs deeply, sitting up and leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “I don't regret it,” he says finally, his voice low.
Your head snaps up, your eyes wide with surprise.
“I don't regret being with you,” he continues, his tone softening. “But I regret... I regret that I used you. That I let my emotions... my loneliness take over. You didn't deserve that.”
You shake your head, reaching out to touch his arm. “Jungkook, you didn't use me. I wanted it too.”
He looks at you, his dark eyes filled with conflict.
“I know you did. But that doesn't make it right.”
You hold his gaze, your heart aching at the vulnerability in his expression. “It's not wrong either,” you whisper.
He exhales sharply, standing up and pulling on his jacket. “I need to think," he mutters. “I need to figure out what I'm doing.”
Jungkook walks through the quiet streets, the early morning chill biting at his skin. His mind is a storm of emotions-shame, guilt, longing. He knows he should be thinking about Mina, the case, about everything that's been spiraling out of control in his life. But all he can think about is you.
You, with your soft smile and kind eyes. You, who had welcomed him without judgment. You, who had given him a moment of solace in the chaos.
He doesn't regret being with you, but he regrets what it means. He regrets how easily you've slipped into the cracks of his carefully constructed walls.
And yet, even as he walks away, he knows he'll come back to you. He always does.
Meanwhile, you’re feeling the same… after he leaves you at the door as it shuts.
You sit on the couch long after Jungkook has gone, staring at the spot where he had been just minutes before. Your heart feels heavy, conflicted. Last night had been everything you'd ever wanted, but now it feels tainted by his guilt, his regret.
Still, you can't bring yourself to regret it. Not when it had felt so perfect, so right.
But as you move to the front of the café, preparing for the day ahead, you can't shake the feeling that something has shifted between you and Jungkook. And you're not sure if it's for better or worse.
But you do know that this was only the beginning and this is not gonna end ever and you don’t want to.
•••
A month goes by, he hasn’t visited the cafe after that night woth you, he’s started to get over Mina, The investigation starts to grow worse, the killer more mysterious than ever. Jungkook’s focus shifts entirely to the case, but the memory of that night with you lingers, a dangerous distraction. He avoids Mina entirely, his guilt toward her eclipsed by the tangled emotions he feels when he sees you.
It’s only a matter of time before everything comes crashing down.
•••
The night Jungkook slept with you still lingers in his mind, haunting him like a half-remembered dream, a moment of clarity and chaos all at once. He tells himself it was a mistake, that he was drunk, confused, and in need of something—someone—that wasn’t Mina. But he knows deep down, it was more than that. It was the kind of intimacy that made him feel human again, something he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Yet, when he wakes up the next morning, reality settles back into place. He tries to push you out of his thoughts as he makes his way to work, but every time he passes by the café, he finds himself looking for you, wondering if you’re there. The guilt gnaws at him, but the emptiness inside makes him think about you again, just for a moment.
What Jungkook doesn’t know, what he can’t see, is that the girl behind the counter, the quiet barista with the warm smile, has already made up her mind. You’ve already planned it out.
Mina is your problem now.
Mina never did anything wrong. She never even knew the darkness that lurked beneath your calm exterior. To her, you were just another face behind the counter, the one who always smiled, who always gave her the right change with a soft chuckle. She was just another customer. But that was before you realized she was still with Jungkook, and that was the last straw.
Mina knows about your crush on Jungkook because, on several occasions in the past, Jungkook had brought her with him when he visited the café. It wasn’t frequent, but enough for Mina to catch on to the subtle tension that simmered between you and him.
You hadn’t meant to make it obvious, but every time Jungkook walked into the café, your demeanor shifted. You’d become a little more flustered, your heart would race, and your eyes would light up, especially when he greeted you with that easy smile. It didn’t take much for someone like Mina, who was always looking for cracks in the façade, to notice.
The first time Jungkook brought her in, you did your best to be casual, to act as though you weren’t paying any special attention to him.
But Mina, watching from across the table, saw how you seemed a little more eager, a little more careful with every cup you made for him. She observed how your voice softened when you spoke to him, how your hands trembled just slightly as you handed him his order. It wasn’t hard for her to figure it out: there was something more than just friendship between you two, even if it was unspoken.
After that day, Mina started coming in more frequently when she knew Jungkook would be there.
She made a point of sitting at a table near the counter, watching the subtle interactions between you two, almost like a game. It gave her a sense of satisfaction—of control—to see how much you cared for him, how much you tried to hide it.
What really gave Mina the final piece of the puzzle was the day Jungkook brought her in again. This time, the way you interacted with him was different. You didn’t hide your feelings as well. You weren’t as guarded. Maybe you thought Jungkook had stopped noticing, that you could just be yourself around him without it being awkward, but Mina saw through it.
She watched you smile at him a little too brightly, watched how your voice softened when you said his name.
That’s when she knew. She had been right all along.
From that point forward, Mina began to play with this knowledge, poking at you, dropping little comments here and there about Jungkook. It wasn’t out of genuine interest in your well-being.
No, Mina was the type who thrived on power, on knowing things others didn’t. She knew you had feelings for Jungkook, and she wasn’t above using that against you.
Mina wasn’t a regular customer, but she made it a point to come by whenever she knew Jungkook would be there. She’d sit back, watch, and wait for you to slip up—because she knew it wouldn’t be long before you showed just how much you cared.
You watch her from the back of the café, your fingers tightening around the edge of the counter as she orders another coffee, laughs too loudly at something a friend says, her smile a little too bright.
You’re not the type to go unnoticed, not anymore. You’ve made sure of it. But this girl? She’s everything you’re not. Beautiful, untainted. Her life is easy—untainted by secrets or shame. But that life is a lie. And she doesn’t deserve it.
The tension builds like a slow-burning fuse as the afternoon wears on. Your hand shakes as you wipe down the counter, the hum of the coffee machine loud in your ears.
Mina doesn’t know how much you hate her. Doesn’t know that she’s the one thing standing between you and what you’ve convinced yourself is yours. Jungkook.
The thought of him with her, the way he always turns to her in the café, makes your stomach twist. You wish she’d just disappear. So, that’s exactly what you’ll do.
•••
The café is quiet as you lock up for the night.
The faint hum of the city lingers in the distance, but it doesn't reach your small sanctuary.
It's been a month since the night with Jungkook, and though he hasn't been back to the café in days, the memory of him is enough to send a shiver through your body.
You've noticed changes-small ones at first. A nauseous unease in the mornings, a fatigue that you can't shake. Tonight, though, you can't ignore the obvious anymore. Your period is late
far too late.
When you get home, you head straight for the drawer where you hid the pregnancy test. It had been an impulsive purchase a few days ago, something you hadn't wanted to face until you
absolutely had to.
The bathroom feels impossibly quiet as you take the test, sitting on the edge of the tub and waiting for the results. Seconds stretch into an eternity. When the lines appear, bold and unmistakable, the air leaves your lungs.
Your mind races. The weight of the word sinks into your chest. It's him. Jungkook. That night.
The night when everything felt like it could finally belong to you. But now, this?
Panic bubbles inside you, but it's swallowed by something darker, more visceral.
Mina's face flashes in your mind, and it's as if the pregnancy test has turned her shadow into a living, breathing entity. She's always there, always hovering around the edges of your thoughts, a reminder of what you'll never truly have.
She broke up with Jungkook that night. You've pieced that much together. She left him, but her presence still looms over you.
It's her fault you feel this way. Her fault that Jungkook can't be entirely yours.
Before you realize it, you're out the door again, the pregnancy test left abandoned on the counter. The idea takes root in your mind with terrifying clarity.
Mina's address isn't hard to find. She used to post pictures from home-soft, curated glimpses of her perfect life.
The city streets blur as you drive. Your fingers tighten on the wheel as adrenaline floods your veins.
When you pull up to her house, the world feels unnervingly still. The house is modest but exudes her curated style, clean and pristine. A pang of rage surges through you.
You knock softly at first. When there's no response, you knock louder, your fist trembling against the wood. Finally, the door opens.
Mina stands there in a loose sweatshirt and leggings, her hair tied back, and her expression instantly hardens when she sees you.
“What are you doing here?” she says sharply, her voice cutting through the air.
You don't answer. You push past her, stepping into her living room without waiting for an invitation. She whirls around, glaring at you.
“Excuse me?” Mina snaps, her hands on her hips. "You can't just barge in here-"
But you're not listening. Your focus sharpens as you glance around the room, taking in the perfection of it all. Everything she's built, everything she's taken from you without even knowing it.
“You ruined him,” you say suddenly, your voice low and trembling.
Mina freezes, her brows furrowing. “What are you talking about?”
“You don't deserve him,” you continue, stepping closer. The words spill out, raw and jagged. You never did. You threw him away.”
Mina's eyes widen, and for the first time, there's a flicker of unease in her expression. “Are you insane?” she says, backing up slightly. “This has nothing to do with you.”
But it does. It has everything to do with you.
The knife is in your pocket, cold and heavy against your palm as you pull it out. Mina's eyes go wide, and she lets out a sharp gasp.
“Y/N, stop. What are vou doing?” she says, her voice trembling now, you see fear in her eyes, and that is so satisfying
“I'm taking back what's mine,” you whisper, stepping forward.
Mina screams as you lunge, but she's fast. Her nails rake across your arm as she tries to push you away, drawing blood. The knife slips from your grasp briefly, clattering to the floor, and the two of you struggle, crashing into the coffee table.
She fights harder than you expected. Her fists hit your sides, her nails digging into your skin.
But your rage is stronger, a blinding force that drives you forward.
Finally, you grab the knife again, plunging it into her chest. The scream chokes in her throat, her hands flailing weakly as you press the blade deeper.
The fight leaves her body, her eyes glazing over as she crumples to the floor.
You stand there, panting, your body trembling with adrenaline. Blood pools around her, staining the pristine floor, and it's then you notice the streaks of red on yor wn arms.
Her nails. She scratched you.
Your breath quickens as the reality sets in. You grab a dishcloth from the kitchen, wrapping it around your arm to staunch the bleeding.
You leave quickly, your mind racing. The blood you've left behind is a risk, but it's done now.
She's gone.
As you drive away, the silence in the car feels deafening. You glance at your bandaged arm, your chest heaving with a mix of fear and exhilaration.
It's over. She's gone.
But the faint, nagging thought of the blood you've left behind lingers in the back of your mind, a seed of doubt that you can't shake.
•••
The next day, Jungkook’s phone rings with the news. Mina’s body is found in at her home reported by the neighbors, discarded like a broken toy. The details of her murder are grisly—so much blood, so many signs of a struggle. But there’s something more. Something that gnaws at him,
He doesn’t know it yet, And Jungkook has no idea how close he is to the one thing he’s been hunting.
As he visits the scene of the crime, his heart heavy with guilt over his own sins, the truth starts to swirl around him, each clue pulling him closer to you. But you are always just one step ahead.
And you’re not finished yet.
•••
Jungkook stands at the edge of the crime scene, Mina’s home. Familiar home, his mind racing as he watches the forensic team finish their work. Mina’s body has been taken away, but something about the scene feels unfinished—unnerving. As the team packs up, the lingering sense of wrongness creeps into his chest.
He takes a few more steps into the room, his eyes scanning every inch.
The silence is heavy, thick with the smell of blood, and something else, something he can’t quite place. He feels like he’s being watched even though he’s the only one left. His gut instinct tells him there’s more to find, something hidden beneath the surface.
“Detective Jeon,” a voice calls out, pulling him from his thoughts. He turns to see Officer Lee, the junior detective, holding a small evidence bag.
“What is it?” Jungkook asks, his voice tight with impatience.
“Sir,” Lee continues, stepping closer. “We found something odd in the kitchen area, near the counter. It’s fresh blood, but it doesn’t match the scene at all. It’s… different.”
Jungkook raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. “What do you mean, different?”
Lee’s face shifts, his expression nervous. “It’s not the same consistency as the blood we’ve been seeing from the victims. It seems… newer, almost as if it wasn’t part of the original violence.”
Jungkook’s heart skips a beat. The blood. It’s almost like the killer made a mistake. He follows Lee to the kitchen, where they find the dark stain on the floor. It’s small but unmistakable, a sharp contrast against the faded red of the rest of the scene.
He kneels down, his gloved fingers brushing the edges of the stain. The blood is darker than what they’ve seen from the victim, almost as though it’s been there for some time—but that doesn’t make sense. He knew Mina was killed just hours ago.
“Is this from the victim?” Jungkook asks, still focused on the stain.
“We don’t think so,” Lee replies, his tone uncertain. “It’s not consistent with the rest of the scene.”
Jungkook’s eyes narrow. “It looks fresh.”
His instincts kick in. Something is off, and he knows it’s not just the stain. His gaze lingers on the blood. He needs to know more. If this is part of the same pattern, then they’re dealing with something entirely different.
“Send it to forensics,” he orders. “Get it tested immediately. I need to know what we’re dealing with.”
Hours pass before Jungkook finds himself in the sterile white of the forensics lab, waiting as the technician works quickly to process the blood sample they’ve retrieved from the crime scene.
He stands by, his mind on edge, feeling the pull of the unknown tightening its grip. The room is quiet, save for the hum of machinery and the faint clicking of keyboards as the technician runs the test.
Finally, the technician hands Jungkook a printed report. Jungkook takes it with a calmness he doesn’t feel, his fingers trembling ever so slightly as he scans the document.
The results are like a slap in the face.
The blood—this blood—belongs to a woman.
His chest tightens as he rereads the details. But it’s not just any woman. The test shows the presence of hormone levels consistent with early pregnancy.
A pregnant woman.
The words blur before his eyes. His mind struggles to make sense of it. Pregnant? How could it be?
This isn’t just some random woman who happened to get involved in the case. This is a pregnant woman. The kind of detail that changes everything.
He stares at the report in stunned silence. Mina’s murder doesn’t fit with any of the previous patterns, but this… this is a whole new level of complexity. And, despite his growing confusion, Jungkook can’t shake the nagging thought that the killer might be someone unexpected—someone who’s been hiding in plain sight.
Jungkook’s mind races as he pieces everything together. The fact that the blood belongs to a pregnant woman is huge. It feels like a lead that could take him in an entirely new direction, but there’s something else gnawing at him. A suspicion he can’t quite shake.
It’s the note he found on Mina’s body. The strange connection between the killings. Every victim has had a twisted background, all male, all with histories of violence or crime. But Mina… she was an exception. A woman. And she wasn’t involved in the same kind of criminal activity.
His gut is telling him something isn’t right. He’s seen this before—when his intuition is pushing him toward an answer, even when he doesn’t have all the pieces. And now, with this new revelation about the blood, that nagging feeling is only growing stronger.
Could the killer be a woman? Could the killer be pregnant? The thought unsettles him, but it makes sense. Perhaps this is the killer’s twist—targeting those who have wronged others, who’ve hurt people in the most vicious ways, while hiding behind a carefully crafted disguise.
As he stands there, staring at the test results, a chilling realization slowly begins to creep in. He hasn’t even begun to connect the dots. He hasn’t yet put it all together.
And the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes the one thing that’s been staring him in the face all along: someone close to him could be hiding this terrible secret.
But he doesn’t know who that is yet.
The blood. The pregnancy. The mysterious nature of Mina’s death—everything points to a killer who’s been hidden from view. Someone who’s not just playing a part in this sick game but is actively controlling the strings.
Jungkook takes one last look at the report in his hand. The piece of paper seems to burn with the weight of its revelation.
“Pregnant,” he mutters under his breath, the word tasting bitter in his mouth. “Who could it be?”
Jungkook’s thoughts are muddled. He hasn’t even considered the possibility that someone he knows could be involved. But the facts keep leading him in that direction.
With every passing second, the answer feels closer, yet farther away. All Jungkook knows for certain is that this case is far more complicated than he ever imagined.
And the killer is closer than he thinks.
•••
That night? he decides to visit his favorite coffee place again
The café is dimly lit, the warm golden glow of the overhead lights casting long shadows across the empty tables. It’s late—well past closing time for most places—but you’re still here. You’ve started staying later than usual, lingering in the quiet of your sanctuary, unable to go home to the lingering guilt of what you’ve done.
You’re wiping down the counter when the bell above the door chimes. The sound startles you, breaking through the silence. When you look up, it’s him.
Jungkook.
He’s standing in the doorway, his hair slightly disheveled, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. It’s been a month since that night, and he hasn’t been back since. Seeing him now feels like a punch to the chest, and for a moment, you can’t breathe.
“Jungkook,” you say softly, your voice barely audible. “You’re here again after a long time..”
He offers a small, tired smile as he steps inside, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. “Hey,” he says, his voice low and gravelly. “I know it’s late… but are you still making coffee?”
You nod quickly, trying to push down the rising emotions threatening to choke you. “Of course. For you? Always.”
He sits at his usual spot near the counter, leaning back in the chair as he watches you move around the machine. The silence between you is thick, weighted with everything unsaid.
As you hand him the cup, his fingers brush against yours. The contact is brief but electric, sending a shiver up your spine. He takes a sip, his eyes closing as he lets out a soft sigh.
“This is exactly what I needed,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you.
You can’t hold it in anymore. The words burst from your lips before you can stop them. “I need to tell you something.”
He looks up at you, his brows furrowing slightly. “What is it?”
Your hands tremble as you grip the counter for support. You’ve been rehearsing this in your head for days, but now, with him sitting there, the reality of it feels overwhelming.
“I’m… I’m pregnant,” you say finally, your voice barely above a whisper.
The words hang in the air, and for a moment, his expression is unreadable. He sets the cup down slowly, staring at you like he’s trying to piece together what you just said.
“What?” he says finally, his voice low and filled with disbelief.
You swallow hard, nodding. “It’s yours, Jungkook. From that night.”
His breath hitches, and he leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. “Pregnant,” he repeats, almost to himself. The weight of the revelation sinks in, his eyes flicking to your stomach before meeting your gaze again.
“That’s… that’s a lot to process,” he says finally, his tone careful.
“But.. promise that I won’t abandon you… I will take full responsibility.. don’t worry… I’m so sorry”
You’re about to say something—anything to break the tension—when his gaze drops to your arm. His brows knit together as he notices the faint, raw scratches peeking out from beneath your sleeve.
“What happened to your arm?” he asks, his tone shifting, more alert now.
Your heart skips a beat, panic rising in your chest. You pull your sleeve down instinctively, hiding the marks. “It’s nothing,” you say quickly, too quickly.
He doesn’t look convinced. His eyes narrow slightly as he studies you. “Those look fresh,” he says, his voice sharp. “Did someone hurt you?”
“No,” you say firmly, forcing a laugh. “I’m just clumsy, that’s all.”
Jungkook doesn’t respond immediately. He just watches you, his gaze searching, like he’s trying to read the truth in your expression.
“Y/N,” he says finally, his voice soft but insistent. “If something’s going on, you need to tell me.”
You shake your head, plastering on a smile that feels more like a mask. “It’s nothing, really. You don’t have to worry.”
But he doesn’t look convinced. His jaw tightens, and he leans forward slightly, his fingers drumming against the edge of the table.
“Are you sure?” he asks, his voice low.
You nod quickly, avoiding his gaze. “I promise. Everything’s fine.”
He doesn’t press further, but the tension in the air is palpable. You can feel his eyes on you as you turn away, pretending to busy yourself with cleaning.
The rest of the conversation is stilted, awkward. He finishes his coffee quickly, his movements stiff and deliberate.
“I should go,” he says finally, standing up and sliding the cup toward you. “Thanks for the coffee.”
You nod, forcing a smile as you watch him leave. The door swings shut behind him, and the silence that follows is deafening.
You lean against the counter, your legs trembling beneath you. The scratches on your arm burn as if in reminder. You knew this moment would come, but now that it has, you feel the weight of everything crashing down around you.
He doesn’t suspect you—not yet. But the way he looked at you, the questions he asked… it’s only a matter of time.
•••
Jungkook sits at his desk in the dimly lit precinct, the case file for Mina’s murder spread out before him. His mind is a storm, every detail looping back to the one piece of evidence he can’t shake—the fresh blood at the crime scene, identified as belonging to a pregnant woman.
He had brushed it off at first, thinking maybe it was some unknown accomplice or a bizarre twist in the killer’s pattern. But now, after his late-night visit to the café, everything feels like it’s coming together in ways he wishes it wouldn’t.
His hands clench into fists as he remembers Y/N’s confession.
And then there were the scratches.
They’d looked raw, fresh—exactly like the kind of defensive wounds a victim might leave behind. He tries to dismiss the thought. It’s Y/N, he tells himself. Sweet, shy Y/N, who wouldn’t hurt a fly. But the evidence won’t let him go.
The blood. The scratches. Her sudden nervousness, the way she pulled her sleeve down, the way she avoided his eyes when he asked her about it.
Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He doesn’t want to believe it—doesn’t even want to entertain the thought. But as an inspector, he knows he can’t ignore the signs.
He flips through the photos from the crime scene, his eyes lingering on the smear of blood leading away from Mina’s body. The forensic team had confirmed it didn’t belong to Mina, and it wasn’t old enough to have been left by anyone else.
It had to be the killer’s.
He leans back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. His mind races with conflicting thoughts—his duty to the case, his growing feelings for Y/N, and the sickening possibility that they might be connected in ways he can’t yet comprehend.
“Jeon,” his partner calls from across the room, breaking his train of thought. “Anything new?”
Jungkook shakes his head, snapping the file shut. “No,” he lies. “Still piecing it together.”
But inside, he knows he can’t ignore this.
The next night, Jungkook finds himself back at the café. It’s late again, and the streets are quiet, save for the occasional hum of a passing car. He tells himself he’s just here for coffee, to clear his head. But deep down, he knows that’s not true.
Y/N is behind the counter, her movements slower than usual, as if weighed down by something unseen. She startles when she sees him walk in, her eyes wide, but she quickly masks it with a smile.
“Back again?” she asks, her voice trembling slightly.
He nods, offering a small smile of his own. “Couldn’t stay away. You make the best coffee, remember?”
She laughs softly, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. He watches her closely as she moves, noticing the way she avoids his gaze, the way she keeps her sleeves tugged down over her wrists.
When she sets the cup in front of him, he doesn’t drink right away. Instead, he leans forward, resting his elbows on the counter.
“Y/N,” he says softly, his voice steady but probing.
She looks up at him, her smile faltering. “Yeah?”
“You never told me how you got those scratches,” he says, his tone casual but his eyes sharp.
Her breath catches, and he sees the flicker of panic in her expression before she quickly masks it. “I told you,” she says lightly. “I’m clumsy.”
“Clumsy enough to leave marks like that?” he presses, his gaze unrelenting.
Her hands tremble slightly as she picks up a cloth and starts wiping down the counter. “Why are you asking?” she says, her tone defensive.
He leans back, his jaw tightening. “Just curious. You know, with everything going on… people getting hurt. Makes me worry.”
She doesn’t respond, her focus fixed on the counter. The tension between them is thick, the silence stretching uncomfortably.
“I’m fine,” she says finally, her voice barely above a whisper.
But Jungkook isn’t convinced. Every instinct in him is screaming that something is wrong, that she’s hiding something. And yet, despite everything, a part of him doesn’t want to believe it.
“Okay,” he says finally, his tone softening. “If you say so.”
But as he leaves the café that night, the weight of his suspicions feels heavier than ever. The blood, the scratches, her nervousness—it all lines up too perfectly to ignore.
Jungkook walks slowly back to his car, his mind swirling with thoughts he doesn’t want to entertain. He stops just short of the driver’s seat, leaning against the door and staring at the dark street ahead.
The Y/N he knows—the one he’s been drawn to, the one who seemed so kind, so unassuming—couldn’t possibly be capable of this. Could she?
He slams his fist lightly against the roof of the car, frustration boiling under his skin. He doesn’t want to doubt her. But the evidence doesn’t lie.
That same night, Jungkook decides to dive deeper into the case. He returns to the precinct and retrieves the forensic report on the blood found at Mina’s home. He’s read it before, but now, with fresh eyes, he scans the details again.
The report confirms it: the blood belongs to a pregnant woman. The realization sends a chill down his spine.
Jungkook rubs a hand over his face, exhaustion creeping in as he tries to piece it all together. The killer had left no other trace—no prints, no DNA—just this blood. It was careless, uncharacteristic of someone who had been so meticulous with the other murders.
Why now? he wonders.
The connection feels tenuous at best, but the scratches on Y/N’s arm flash in his mind again, and he can’t ignore the unease building in his chest.
“Jeon,” his partner calls from his desk, interrupting his thoughts. “You’re still here? Go home, man. You’ve been at this for weeks.”
Jungkook forces a nod, shutting the file and grabbing his coat. “Yeah, I’m going,” he mutters.
But he doesn’t go home.
Instead, he drives back to Mina’s house, parking a short distance away and stepping out into the cold night. The crime scene has long since been cleared, but he needs to see it again, needs to feel it.
The house looms dark and silent, a grim reminder of what had happened within its walls. He steps closer, his boots crunching against the gravel as he shines his flashlight across the ground.
And then he sees it—a faint stain on the walkway leading away from the house.
His heart pounds as he kneels down, pulling on gloves and carefully swabbing the dried blood. It’s faint but fresh enough to have gone unnoticed during the initial sweep.
He stands, staring at the swab in his hand. It could be nothing, a stray smear left behind by someone from the forensics team. But it could also be something.
Someone.
As he slips the evidence into a bag, his mind circles back to Y/N. The scratches. Her sudden announcement. The way she seemed so on edge, so unlike herself.
The thought makes his stomach twist painfully. He doesn’t want to believe it, but the pieces are falling into place, and the picture they’re forming is one he can’t ignore.
He gets back into his car, gripping the steering wheel tightly. His next steps are clear: have the blood tested again, cross-reference it, and get answers.
But for now, he sits in the dark, staring out at the empty street,
Caught between his duty as an inspector and the growing fear that the woman he’s falling for might be the one he’s been chasing all along.
•••
It’s been days since Jungkook swabbed the blood at Mina’s crime scene. Days of sleepless nights, staring at reports, running DNA tests, and trying to ignore the tightening noose of suspicion around Y/N.
The results came back that morning. The blood is a match. A match for the mysterious pregnant killer. A match for Y/N, You.
The words on the report burn into his mind, but he can’t bring himself to process them fully. Instead, he spends hours driving aimlessly through Seodaemun-gu, circling back to the café before stopping outside Y/N’s small apartment.
He’s not sure what he’s going to say, or do. The woman he’s fallen for—who is carrying his child—has killed at least eighteen people, including Mina. But the thought of turning you in feels like a betrayal he’s incapable of.
Jungkook climbs the steps to your door, his heart pounding so hard he’s sure you’ll hear it the moment he knocks.
The door opens almost immediately, and Y/N’s face lights up in surprise. “Jungkook,” you say softly, but there’s a tension in your voice, as if you’ve been expecting this moment.
He steps inside without asking, closing the door behind him. His eyes scan the room, searching for something—anything that might confirm what he already knows.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” you say, your voice low. You move to the small kitchen, your movements stiff.
“Y/N,” he says, his voice calm but firm. ��We need to talk.”
You freeze, your back to him, her hand resting on the counter. “About what?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, instead stepping closer. “You already know what.”
Y/N turns to face him, Your expression guarded. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jungkook.”
“Don’t,” he says, his tone sharper than he intends. He exhales slowly, trying to keep his emotions in check. “I know, Y/N. About Mina. About all of it.”
Your face pales, and for a moment, you doesn’t respond. Then you cross your arms, your gaze steady but wary. “You’re mistaken,” you say evenly.
“I’m not,” he replies. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out the forensic report, dropping it onto the table. “This is your blood. At Mina’s house. You were there.”
Y/N’s breath catches, and you looks down at the report, your hands trembling. “It’s not what you think,” you whisper,
“Then tell me what it is!” His voice rises, the frustration and desperation spilling out. “Because the evidence says you killed her, Y/N. It says you’ve killed all of them.”
She doesn’t deny it. Instead, she steps back, her hands gripping the edge of the counter as if to steady herself. “I did it,” she says quietly, her voice breaking. “But they deserved it, Jungkook. Every single one of them.”
He stares at her, the weight of her confession hitting him like a freight train. “Mina didn’t deserve it,” he says, his voice hollow.
Her eyes fill with tears, and she shakes her head. “She broke you, Jungkook. She hurt you. And I couldn’t—”
“That wasn’t your decision to make!” he shouts, his voice cracking with emotion. “You had no right!”
Silence falls between them, heavy and suffocating. Y/N’s tears spill over, but she doesn’t move, doesn’t try to defend herself further.
Jungkook rubs a hand over his face, his thoughts spiraling. He knows what he should do—what his duty demands. But when he looks at her, at the woman carrying his child, he feels nothing but agony.
“I’m pregnant,” she says suddenly, her voice trembling.
“I know,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
“SERIOUSLY YN What the fuck have you done? I fell in love with a psychotic killer. FUCK!”
She flinches at his tone, her tears falling harder. “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she says, her voice cracking. “I just, I couldn’t let them keep hurting people. I couldn’t let her keep hurting you.”
Jungkook closes his eyes, her words tearing through him. When he finally looks at her again, his expression is unreadable. “Do you understand what you’ve done?” he asks, his voice quiet but laced with pain.
“Yes,” she whispers.
“You’ve destroyed everything,” he says, his voice breaking.
She sobs, collapsing into a chair. “I didn’t mean to destroy you, Jungkook. I—”
“You didn’t destroy me,” he cuts her off, his tone icy. “You destroyed us.”
The room falls silent again, the weight of his words suffocating them both.
Finally, he speaks, his voice hollow. “I can’t turn you in, Y/N. I should, but I can’t. Because I—” He stops himself, shaking his head as if to dispel the thought. “But I need you to know that what you’ve done… it’s unforgivable.”
She looks up at him, her tear-streaked face full of anguish. “Then what happens now?”
Jungkook stares at her for a long moment, his jaw clenched, his hands trembling. “I don’t know,” he says finally, his voice barely audible. “I don’t know.”
And with that, he turns and walks out, leaving her alone with her guilt and the devastating weight of what she’s done.
•••
He takes a lot of Days to think about what he’s gonna do next, the truth is that he’s fallen too deeply in love with you to turn you in especially since he found out that you’re pregnant and as fucked up as it sounds, but the way you confessed to him that you killed Mina because she had hurt him,
It switched something inside him.. no one has ever gone that far for him.
You’re expecting his child
He has to do something to save you. He cannot turn you in no matter what.
So he decides to do something, a week later.
Jungkook sits alone in his car, parked a block away from the station. The stack of case files sits on the passenger seat, the details of eighteen brutal murders outlined in gruesome detail. At the top of the stack is Mina’s file.
The weight of what he’s about to do crushes his chest, but he’s made his decision.
If you go down, you take his child with you. You take him with you.
He exhales sharply, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. He’s always been a by-the-book cop, but the moment he fell for Y/N, that part of him started to crumble. Now, he’s about to destroy what’s left of it.
He enters the station with confidence and a mask.
The precinct buzzes with energy as Jungkook walks in, the familiar hum of chatter and clacking keyboards filling the air. His partner, Detective Choi, greets him with a nod.
“Got something for me, Jeon?” Choi asks, leaning back in his chair.
Jungkook sets the files down on his desk, forcing a calm expression. “Yeah,” he says. “I’ve been looking into a lead.”
Choi raises an eyebrow. “A lead? We’ve been spinning our wheels on this for months. What kind of lead?”
Jungkook opens Mina’s file, pulling out the report he fabricated the night before. He had spent hours doctoring evidence, crafting a story that would absolve Y/N of suspicion.
“This,” he says, handing the report to Choi.
Choi scans the document, his expression shifting from skepticism to curiosity. “A drug connection?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook lies smoothly. “I traced the source of the drug found in all the victims to a trafficking ring operating out of Incheon. It’s messy, but I think one of their enforcers is responsible for the killings.”
Choi frowns, flipping through the pages. “An enforcer who kills eighteen people, including Mina, and just disappears?”
“That’s the thing,” Jungkook says, leaning in. “I think they’ve already been eliminated. Internal cleaning. It explains why the killings stopped after Mina’s case.”
It’s a bold lie, but Jungkook delivers it with conviction, weaving in just enough plausible details to make it stick. He knows Choi is sharp, but he also knows his partner is tired of this case. They all are.
Choi nods slowly, handing the report back. “It’s a stretch, but it tracks. You’re saying we close this case on the assumption the killer’s dead?”
Jungkook shrugs, feigning indifference. “Unless you’ve got a better lead, I don’t see another option. The evidence lines up. It’s messy, but it fits.”
Choi exhales heavily, rubbing his temples. “Fine. I’ll run it by the chief.”
•••
The reaction is mixed. Some detectives are relieved to put the case behind them, satisfied with Jungkook’s explanation. Others grumble about loose ends and unanswered questions, but no one presses too hard.
“Good work, Jeon,” the chief says, clapping him on the shoulder. “You’ve been on this for months. Go home. Get some rest.”
Jungkook forces a smile, nodding. “Thanks, chief.”
As he walks out of the precinct, he feels the weight of his actions settle over him. He’s betrayed his badge, his oath, and every victim in this case.
But he’s saved you.
But there’s still a lot of loose ends that he needs to tie up, especially to convince his department that the pregnant woman was a pawn.
He needs to do something really convincing, and soon because time is running out.
•••
After a lot of days later, you’re almost now almost two pregnant, Jungkook hasn’t visited you after that confrontation and you think that maybe he’s abandoned you and maybe he’s gonna arrest you but you’re ready to pay for your sins.
You know what you were getting into when you decided to do this and you don’t regret killing any one of them.
Especially not Mina
Only if you had any idea… about what is happening around you…
 The apartment is quiet when Jungkook arrives. The air feels thick with tension, the kind that comes from unsaid words, from everything that’s been building up for weeks, months even.
He’s been here before, countless times, but tonight feels different. It’s as if the weight of everything that’s happened has finally caught up to him. The lies. The murder. The twisted love you’ve both been hiding from.
You’re sitting at the kitchen table when he walks in, a cup of cold coffee in front of you, untouched. The dim light casts long shadows across your face,
making you look almost ethereal, but there’s a darkness in your eyes that he hasn’t seen before. He doesn’t know whether it’s the guilt or the truth that lingers between you both, but it’s there. It’s palpable.
You don’t stand up when he enters. You don’t even look at him at first. Instead, your fingers trace the rim of the cup absentmindedly, like you’re lost in thought, deciding what to say. Or maybe deciding if you should say anything at all.
“You’re here,” you say finally, your voice quiet, almost resigned. “I was wondering when you’d come.”
Jungkook closes the door behind him, his breath heavy. The sight of you is almost too much to bear.
He feels the pull, the urgency of everything that’s been building up since that night at the café. But there’s something else too. Something darker. The guilt. The secret he’s been keeping. The knowledge that he’s closing his eyes to the truth.
“I had to,” he replies, his voice hoarse. His eyes move to you, scanning your face, trying to find the woman he once thought he understood, the one who wasn’t a murderer. But now, nothing seems as simple as it once did.
You finally look up, your eyes meeting his, and for a brief moment, he sees it. The crack in your facade. The vulnerability that you’ve been hiding. But it’s fleeting. Quickly masked by that cold, calculating expression he’s learned to fear.
“You did what you had to?” you echo, a bitter smile tugging at your lips. “Funny. I didn’t know I was something you had to protect.”
Your stomach twists, guilt washing over you as you feel the weight of your words. The truth that he’s been avoiding hits you like a punch to the gut.
“I didn’t want to…,” he starts, his words faltering. “I didn’t want any of this. But I couldn’t let you go. Not after everything.”
You smile, but it’s not a smile at all. It’s a mask. A shield you’ve put up, but he sees through it. Just like he’s starting to see through everything you’ve done.
“Why didn’t you let me go, Jungkook?” you ask, standing slowly, your eyes never leaving his. You take a step toward him, the space between you narrowing with every heartbeat. “Because of your guilt? Or because you want me? Because you want us?”
Jungkook feels the heat rising in his chest, his body tense, his hands balled into fists at his sides. He wants to deny it, wants to tell you that it’s not like that, but the truth is too raw to ignore. He’s in too deep. He’s in love with you.
“I…” he hesitates, struggling with the words that seem impossible to say. “I don’t know what to believe anymore, Y/N. But I want you. More than anything.”
The words hang in the air between you both, thick with tension. You step closer, the space between you vanishing entirely. Your breath is warm against his skin as you raise a hand to his chest, tracing a line down to the hem of his shirt.
“Then why do you keep pretending like this is all just a mistake?” Your voice is soft now, a little breathless, but there’s something in it that makes his heart race even faster. “You know what I’ve done. You know the truth. So why are we still playing this game?”
His chest tightens as he stares into your eyes, the question echoing in his mind. Why are we still playing this game?
He’s already crossed too many lines, already made choices that can’t be undone. He’s in love with you, and that’s the only truth he can hold onto right now. But the guilt, the knowledge of what you’ve done—it’s suffocating him.
“I’m here because I don’t have a choice,” he says, his voice barely a whisper. “I’ve already made my choice. And it’s you.”
You look at him, your gaze calculating, but something flickers in your eyes. Relief? Or is it something darker? He can’t tell anymore.
“You don’t have to choose between me and the truth, Jungkook,” you say, stepping even closer until you’re inches apart. “The truth is… we belong together. In everything we’ve done. In everything we’ll do.”
The words send a shiver through him. There’s no going back now. He knows it. You know it.
His hands reach for you, pulling you into him, and your lips meet in a kiss that is desperate and consuming. He’s not thinking anymore. He’s not questioning. He’s just here, with you, drowning in everything that’s pulled you both together.
When you finally break apart, his breath is ragged, his chest heaving. Your hands rest on his shoulders, your eyes dark with something he can’t quite place.
“I’ll do anything for you,” he says, his voice hoarse, the words pouring out of him without thought.
“I know,” you reply softly, your fingers brushing against his neck. “And I’ll do anything for you too. But we have to be honest with each other now. No more lies.”
He nods, the weight of your words sinking into his bones. There’s no turning back now. “Jungkook.. you know it was a big skill investigation rate. How did you even convince your department to close the case tell me what did you do.”
He looks at you and smiles
He’s made his choice.
“Okay fine I will tell you.”
The investigation was closing in, and with each passing day, the walls seemed to close in tighter around Jungkook. The blood—so carefully planted at Mina’s crime scene—was becoming a ticking time bomb, and the pressure to keep Y/N safe weighed heavily on him. His heart hammered in his chest every time the case came up in discussion, and he knew he had to take drastic measures.
He needed to shut it all down. Permanently.
That’s when it hit him: a recently discovered body in a nearby district. A woman—pregnant, recently deceased, and conveniently found under suspicious circumstances. She wasn’t the killer, but to Jungkook, she might as well have been. He could use her to frame the entire investigation.
When Jungkook visited the morgue that night, the body lay still on the cold steel table, a haunting reminder of the fragile line between life and death. The woman had died under mysterious circumstances, no clear motive, no clear suspect. And with her pregnancy, she was the perfect pawn.
Jungkook’s mind raced as he walked around the body, his eyes lingering on her swollen belly, her pale face, the indistinct bruises on her skin that told a story he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know. He felt a sharp pang in his chest, the ghost of guilt flickering behind his thoughts. But there was no time for hesitation. He needed this body.
In his mind, he already had a plan.
He would stage the scene, make it look like this woman was the killer. He’d plant evidence that suggested the woman had been linked to Mina’s death—trace amounts of blood, a few fingerprints in the wrong places. A well-placed piece of clothing or object to tie her to the scene. It was risky, but it was the only way to close the case without implicating Y/N.
The morgue attendant, a sleepy-eyed man who didn’t seem to care much for the dead, handed him the body without question. Jungkook took a deep breath, making sure his hands didn’t shake. He carefully moved the body, knowing exactly what he needed to do.
Hours later, the police were called to a new crime scene. It was the same as always—an empty alleyway with the body of a woman found in a position that suggested something far darker than a random attack. The crime scene looked eerily similar to the previous murders, and that’s exactly what Jungkook had hoped for.
His mind worked quickly, placing the body of the pregnant woman at the scene as though she had been the one to kill Mina. The blood trail leading away from her. A few well-placed items. The evidence was there, but just subtle enough to make it believable.
The next day, Jungkook presented the findings to the department. His colleagues seemed to buy it without much question.
The body of the pregnant woman, found near the alley where Mina had been murdered, in her own home, was identified as the suspect. The evidence—though still sparse—was enough to back up the theory he had fabricated.
“I’ve spoken with forensics,” Jungkook said, standing tall as the room buzzed with suspicion. “The blood found near Mina’s body and the scene where this woman was found confirms our theory. This woman, whoever she was, was clearly involved. And she was pregnant, which explains her connection to the killer we’ve been hunting.”
The room fell silent, the officers looking at each other in confusion. But Jungkook pressed on, pushing the narrative with an authoritative tone.
“She was part of the criminal network, no doubt. This is why the killer used her. She was a pawn, an expendable figure, dragged into something much larger.”
“But with her death, we’ve finally identified her role. She’s the one we were after.”
Jungkook’s voice was steady, rehearsed, convincing. He wasn’t just presenting evidence; he was weaving the story.
One of the officers, a sharp-eyed veteran named Park, raised an eyebrow, leaning forward with a skeptical look. “Are you sure, Jeon? This all seems… too neat. A little too perfect.”
Jungkook took a breath, pushing his doubts aside. “We have to tie it up. The evidence is there. It explains everything. And it leads us to believe that the killer is someone who knew how to manipulate the situation. A pregnant woman was used to distract us from the true killer.”
He met Park’s gaze, holding it long enough to send the message. There was no going back now. He had to make this work.
•••
After a lot of deliberation, and no further suspicions or clues, Jungkooks lie worked
But there were too many questions now. How far could he go before his lies caught up to him? Would the department ever suspect him, even if they’d closed the case?
And most importantly, how much longer could he keep this secret—his secret—hidden from everyone, especially from Y/N?
With the department’s approval, Jungkook walked away from the case, his mind heavy with the weight of the lies he’d told. But as whenever he looked at Y/N, the mother of his child, he knew that no matter what it took, he would do whatever it took to keep her from being discovered.
The announcement came in later that day: Case #178-C, the Seodaemun Serial Killings, officially closed.
The case was officially closed. The department was satisfied, the investigation wrapped up, and the media was ready to move on to the next headline. Jungkook, however, couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was unraveling. He had used the body of a pregnant woman, a victim in her own right, to save Y/N—and his own conscience.
And now you two, will be together forever, and it will be your own heaven where no one will ever disturb you both and your growing family.
Everything is fair in love and war after to all
And this was both.
The love stored in his heart and the war of his own conscious, and eventually the love for you and his heart lawn over the war in his conscious.
“So you see, yn? Start packing your bags. You’re moving in with me and we’re gonna get married and have a child and live happily ever after.”
He stares at you with a lot of love in his eyes, but there’s something darker and you recognize it because it’s such a familiar look
A look that you often saw in your own mirror.
You kiss him again and smile against his lips.
You will do anything for him and you know now that he will also do anything for you.
Everything was worth it.
He was always worth it.
And he knows for a fact that you’re always gonna be worth it
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lilacgaby · 9 months ago
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dunno if you take reqjests but
reader drawing on bakugos hand while theyre studying
PLAGUESMMY DREAMS BRO I WANNA SEE UR TAKE ON IT
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katsuki had dragged you to his room to start studying for the practical exams. you groaned and whined the whole way, he was an academic, and so he was really big on being ‘focused’ and ‘committed’ to the work.
as he questioned you on quadratics and gave you a question to solve, as if you'd be able to solve it. you slammed your head against the table in frustration, as he continued solving the problem as if nothing was wrong. you pouted, you chin on the table as you watched him. one of his hands free as the others did all the work.
you were just so bored, your palms were already out of space from when you were doodling earlier so,
you started to draw on his hand, he was startled by the sudden feeling of a pen on his hand, jerking slightly. “don't move you're gonna ruin it!”
“fuck are ya’ doing anyways? we're supposed to be studying?”
“i'm bored. just do it yourself.”
his face scrunched up in annoyance as he finished up his work, doing his best not to move his hand.
you were actually really focused, or maybe you were just taking a long time because you wanted to hold his hand. who knows.
when you finished, clicking your pen again with a satisfied nod, he looked over his hand, eyebrows raised in surprise.
he actually really liked it. it looked like a mosaic almost, you drawing whatever had come to your mind, some of the things invoking his interests. small explosion doodles mixed in with flowers, chibi doodles of the two of you with heart in between, and a little skull reminiscent of his shirt.
he was so distracted by it, he didn't notice you copying down all of his answers.
almost.
he grabbed your face in his other hand, squishing your cheeks and forcing your lips into a pout. he silently looked over you for a second, pecking your lips briefly before resuming his original position.
“draw me some shit on a piece of paper next time, 'don't want it to get ruined.”
with another kiss to your lips, he handed a flustered you a piece of paper,
“but do your own work, baby.”
with a fastened heart and face dusted with pink, you'd never finished an assignment faster.
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nitewingbabi · 2 years ago
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↳ please respond…I showed you my cock            ⚤ ghostface x female!reader  【 18+ ONLY — Minors DNI 】 ✉ taking requests part 2 ▻ a pretty mouth
2023 was a different year for everyone. Covid was 2020's big killer, and now ghostface seemed to be claiming 2023 as his year. You were one of his taunting targets. Text messages, phone calls, notes in your locker or mail. He had even been in your room once to leave a message on your mirror.
‘I like the red ones’ which was referring to your panties that you were trying on the other day after doing some much needed retail therapy with some friends. 
Your group was getting smaller and smaller as more students were murdered, kidnapped or not heard from in weeks. Curfew was getting shorter that soon enough school was sure to be cancelled until the police solved whoever was running around killing everyone. 
It’s Tuesday night and you just finished showering, you had been blowdrying your hair for the last 20 minutes. The recent news far from your thoughts, the truck load of school work that was due was giving you a migraine. Finally your hair was dried and you were ready to slip into bed and start your assignment. You turned your TV on, immediately putting on your current Netflix show that you were binging. 
Eyes flicking back and forth from your laptop screen to your TV. You hadn’t checked your phone since you started to shower and noticed you had multiple messages from an unknown number. But it wasn’t unknown to you. You knew exactly who it was. 
Unknown Number +1**********
➤ quiet night? 
➤ parents aren’t home. 
➤ neighbours are out of town. 
You had only had one actual physical contact with ghostface which was two weeks ago. He chased you around your house until your neighbours came barging in and he ran away. Ever since you had your parents change the locks and debate whether or not to send you across the country to live with your aunt and uncle until it was all over. You pleaded that they didn’t and instead they paid for a self defence class for you. 
Your phone buzzed again, drawing your attention away from the TV. 
Unknown Number +***********
➤ i liked the little show you put on for me the other day. 
➤ wish i had been there to ruin those little red panties 
You weren’t sure what to write back, you sat there debating if you should even write anything back and entertain this creep. 
Just as you put your phone down, the screen lit up and the room echoed from your ringtone. 
Unknown Caller 
You weren’t sure if you should pick up, but something inside you made you do it. 
“Hello?” You hesitantly asked as you held the device up to your ear. Waiting to hear that deep voice that you couldn’t recognise. 
“Hello y/n. Enjoying your show?” Your eyes met your TV screen to see your show playing still on low volume. You turned the TV off, quickly standing to your feet to look out your window. It was barely lit outside from the streetlight and nothing seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. 
“Who is this? Why are you tormenting me?” You had asked the question too many times that it was just routine, you’d hope that one time he would budge and just tell you. 
“The question isn’t who I am. the question is where I am.” You heart began to race, eyes searching endlessly out your window, he had to be close by. You suddenly felt the booty shorts and crop top that you had slid into wasn’t the best attire to be wearing at home alone whilst being stalked by a psycho. 
“Look asshole, you wanna play games. I can play.” You weren’t sure what you exact plan was, but it was the first thing to pop into your head. Were you terrified of ghostface? Yes. But did it also arouse you how much he called you, texted you, the fact he had probably seen you naked countless times, even possibly pleasured himself to the sight of you. 
“Oh yeah? In the mood for monopoly?” He chuckled darkly on the other end, you could only hope he was still watching you from where he was. With your free hand you danced your fingers down your torso, dipping into the waistband of your shorts and panties and itching your way to your centre that was throbbing. You could hear a deep growl on the other end. 
You chuckled into the phone, knowing he was definitely watching you now. You breathed a soft moan as your fingertip circles your juicy clit, using your arousal as lube to slick your finger around the bundle of nerves. Your moans grew louder and your mouth fell agape as you began walking backwards onto your bed, allowing yourself to fall back into the plush mattress and send yourself into a bliss. 
You had forgotten about ghostface, your phone falling from your ear to beside your head. 
“Hey!” Your eyes popped open as you remembered he was still on the other end. You quickly grabbed it, slowing your circles to keep yourself on edge. 
“I want to hear your pretty cries when you cum, I want you to cum to me and only me. You got that princess?” His words were sharp and threatening, just like the blade he used to murder your friends. God you were getting turned on and touching yourself to a psycho killer. The unexpected happened next. A snapchat notification came through. 
Gfce23 added you on Snapchat! 
It was him. It had to be. You accepted, still working yourself and slipping a finger inside your dripping cunt to get more arousal on your clit. 
Immediately a video came through, along with a few photos. You bit your lip as you thought about what could possibly be on the other end. You had to take the chance though, you were too far down the rabbit hole. 
“Open them, I want you to see what you fucking do to me.” His voice was hoarse and breathless, you could tell he was jerking himself on the other end or something. You clicked on the purple square. Your eyes met a hard cock, veiny and thick. The tip an enraged red with a slight purple tinge. A single drop of precum oozing out the slit and his black leather glove wrapped around his cock. 
The video began playing and his hand jerked his cock slowly, throaty moans echoing as the video continued to play and that drop of precum dripped down his pinkish shaft. A small bush of pubic hair that led to a faint snail trail and a set of what you could only guess were abs. 
His hand got faster and his moans got faster as he pumped himself hard in his hand, but before you could view more you heard your parents car pulling into the driveway with their faint music blaring. 
Ghostface was in the back of your mind as you quickly closed your phone and got settled into bed. Ghostface didn’t call you back, didn’t text you and didn’t send anything else to you that night. But that does’t mean he let you off easy. 
It had only been a few days since you last heard from ghostface, but when you did you were surprised to see the message he had sent through was not his usual taunting, threatening approach. 
Unkown Number +**********
➤ i want to see that pretty pussy spread out tonight 
➤ leave your window unlocked
➤ i know your parents wont be home
➤ hope you like it rough princess
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chuulyssa · 1 year ago
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​🇭​​ 🇴 ​​🇲 ​​🇪​​ 🇼​​ 🇴 ​​🇷 ​​🇰​ .
ʟɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴀɢᴀᴍɪ !
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↷ A/N ─ the long-awaited full ver of this drabble is here! will proofread this tomorrow oml it's 3am here again
★ COUNT ─ 1.3k
!! TAGS ─ light x reader, pre-kira!light, gn!reader, oral (m receiving), deep throating, slight (?) exhibitionism
★ PROLOGUE ─ giving your boyfriend head under the desk while he studies
SMUT, 18+, MDNI
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The two of you were walking back home after school, neither of you speaking a word as you went on in silence. It was like a silent agreement that you would go to his house today instead of yours. After all, pissed as you were, academic stress did not help in uplifting your mood. Luckily, you knew just the way to relieve your worries while also getting your assignments done - and so did Light.
"Hello, dear," his mother greeted you warmly. "I assume he's tutoring you again? I sure hope he isn't too harsh on you."
"It's alright, Mrs Yagami," you smiled back at her, inwardly elated at the fact that some day the title you called her would belong to you.
"I don't understand, dear," she continued, "why do you need tutions from him in the first place? I mean, you do quite well as it is."
"I don't mind it," Light interrupted her before going up to his room.
You took off your shoes and shot her another kind smile before following your boyfriend. Behind you, you could hear Mrs Yagami mumble, "Kids these days."
The door shut behind you. Light immediately kept his bag in a corner and sat down on his chair. You looked at him with a bored expression.
"Already? You're not taking the 'tutoring' part seriously, now, are you?"
"Well, I have to," he said, taking out his Maths notebook and pen. "Your mother-in-law has entrusted me with this task."
You rolled your eyes.
"I don't study."
"I do," he shrugged. "And so, you must too."
"Nah," you flopped on his bed in a starfish position. "I'm going to catch some sleep."
"No, you aren't," Light said firmly and got up to hold you by your arms. He dragged you towards the table, pulling out a chair for you to sit near the desk so that you could keep up with his lessons.
"I'm not studying with you," you scoffed.
Light stared at you for some time before muttering, "Fine. You know what? Fine. Go to hell."
You chuckled and he shot you a petty glare. Opening his notebook, he started solving questions rapidly, not sparing you even a single glance and pretending as if you were as good as part of the wall.
You sat there doodling on a spare book you found. Your chin was on the table, and you were rethinking your decision to come to his house. With a sigh, you realized that you'd have been sleeping soundly in your cozy bed right now had you gone to your own house.
After a few minutes, you saw Light's pen slow down a little and an irritable look on his face.
"Y/N, look, if you can't make yourself useful, then you might as well go home. Seriously."
"What?"
"I said go home."
You blinked in confusion. Useful? Like how? You looked out of the window thinking of excuses to stay in his room. It may not have occurred to you then, but you really did want to stay in his company after all.
And then you got a brilliant idea. Of course! It'd help both you and him destress, and probably leave him flustered enough to do your homework as well. You could-
"Give you a blowjob," you repeated your suggestion to him while he looked at you with wide eyes.
"...Y/N-"
But you cut him off by pushing the chair you were sitting on away and dropping to your knees. He looked at you with a bewildered expression as you fumbled with his belt, desperate to free his obviously strained erection.
"Really, now?" you said in a mocking tone. "Already? I didn't even do anything yet!"
"Well, if you're gonna sit there looking like that, this is bound to happen."
"You could've been subtle about it though," you pushed the chair away to get a clear view and comfortable access to his cock.
"Wait, you're serious about this?"
"Um, yeah?"
"But what if someone heard us?" He protested. "My parents are down there. Heck, Sayu is down there! This is not a sound proof room, we're gonna get c- ah!"
You cut him off with a little lick to the top of his cock. With your right hand you gripped his base and lowered yourself to him.
"Say it again," you said with an amused smile on your face, lips pressed against his dick. "Let me hear your pretty voice."
He was silent for a moment. Then, he slowly reached out to dig his fingers inside your hair giving you the consent you were looking for.
"Thats a good boy," you whispered, making him shiver as your warm breath breezed his cock.
Your grip on his dick tightened ever so slightly as you got ready to suck him. His fingers were tangled in your hair while his other hand tried it's best to solve the math equations for his assignments.
You licked the tip again. Light's hips jerked upwards but you pushed him down with all your might.
"Stop teasing," he breathed, looking away as if to hide his fluster.
You rolled your eyes before finally taking him, inch by inch, inside your mouth. You felt your lips stretching to accommodate his thick dick. It was an uncomfortable experience, but the little grunts that escaped your boyfriend made it worth the pain.
As your lips hit his base, you felt your saliva drooling over his cock, and immediately lifted your head back up, just to take him entirely again.
Light groaned. You tried to smile, but your work was more important. You bobbed your head up and down his dick, occasionally tracing his balls with the tips of your fingers.
"Oh god, no, what if someone sees us," Light said between moans of pleasure. "But, baby, please don't stop now."
You lifted your head completely to look him in the eye. He whined at the lost contact, and tried to push you back.
"Did you lock the door?" You said with an annoyed huff.
"Fuck, no, let me-"
You gave his dick a few pumps to stop him.
"Too late now. I guess everyone's watching Light Yagami groan and come all over his study table."
Light widened his eyes, which was a struggle considering your soft hands manipulating his movements.
You laughed at his pathetic state before taking him in again. You bobbed your head up and down, tapping his inner thigh in a rhythm.
Under your touch, meanwhile, Light was a whimpering, moaning mess. One hand was still in your hair while the other hand completely abandoned his futile efforts of doing his assignment and now lay scratching his table.
"Oh, oh god, oh fuck, yout ake me in so well," he threw his head back with pleasure. "More, more. God, i think I'm coming already."
At this, you gave him a smug look and pushed your head down on his cock until it hit your throat. Your eyes watered, but you didn't let it ruin the moment. Light almost let out a loud cry, both his hands attempting to muffle his voice as if on cue.
You choked and gagged, while he groaned and kicked his legs in the air.
"Fuck, fuck, shit, shit, I'm coming."
Your nails dug into his thighs to form crescent moons as he emptied his cum into your throat, careful not to let any of it spill on the ground or on the chair - anywhere his mom or sister could examine and catch him red handed. After making sure to take all of it in, you finally lifted your head up, licking his entire dick in one, long stroke before licking your lips and winking at him.
Light groaned at the smirk on your face.
"You're such a bad influence. Bad influence on the perfect Light Yagami."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
tagging: @zharickmedrano
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.
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aioustudio9 · 1 year ago
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AIOU STUDIO9 Matric Assignments Free Download
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storiesoflilies · 8 months ago
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metanoia
synopsis: a love story that blossoms over two students’ shared love of drinking green tea and talking about the stars. w.c: 17k.
pairing: college!toji fushiguro x f!reader
warnings: mostly fluff with angst at the end! NSFW so MDNI!
a/n: this fic is my darling baby that has been re-released (in case anybody was thinking it looks familiar)! there are no major changes from the original fic! to both new and old readers, i hope you enjoy <3
art / divider / playlist / ao3
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there was nothing else to do or say about fate, other than it was fixed.
no matter how hard you might try to change it, she never believed it could be. life was a series of scrawling numbers and greek letters, written by the hands of angels and god.
life was never going to be a straight line. rather, it was a scattered mess of ever-changing parabolas, dipping and rising above the axis like surfers on the waves of the sea.
but sometimes, just sometimes, you can hear what has been written about you.
if she tuned into things really hard, and listened beyond the banal noises that came with the plane of existence all humans exist in, she could hear it.
the scratching of a pen on paper, or perhaps a feather quill on a scroll?
yes, that sounded more like it.
she could hear the angels solving the puzzle they had been given – to balance the equation of her life. things had to be solved in a certain series of formulas to become a proven, tangible equation. the angels were still trying to prove her life, it seemed, and it was quite simply astounding that they were working so hard to try and solve it for her.
but the irrational part of her couldn’t help but think the worst.
what if they were bored?
she could certainly understand; there were many times when she’d been made to solve trivial questions, like calculating the speed of an aircraft, and she’d wished she could be anywhere but there in that moment. did the angels think that about her equation? would they ever get bored and just give up on her?
with that, the cold, beautiful reality that is life becomes apparent.
none of it was really personal to them, but she had a duty to live it right up until the equation was balanced and the last drop of ink ran dry.
but for now, it was golden hour.
that time of the day when the sun’s light softened, casting long shadows of buildings and trees across the pavement. honeyed rays of light filtered in through the window, refracting through the clear plastic display that showcased the sweet traybakes of the day. the cafe was quiet now, just after the hustle and bustle of regular work hours. most of the patrons were university students, drawn to the cafe for its convenient location near the main campus, where they downed their coffees like it was a drug to be taken multiple times a day.
she couldn’t judge them.
after all, she was included in that typical student caliber too. but instead of drinking her weight in murky brown caffeine, she preferred it to be of the green kind. more specifically, a cup of green tea took her brainpower much farther and higher than its more popular, teeth-staining counterpart.
and the perks of working for the very same cafe?
every cup of it was free and unlimited use for her – something she took advantage of every single shift.
the job couldn’t be more perfect for her.
although her shifts were daily, they were always scheduled during these quiet golden hours that extended into the stretch of moonlight, accommodating her university hours.
because choosing to study a degree in physics was certainly no joke, and she was grateful for any spare moment of peace to work on her assignments and reports. her manager never minded, leaving her to riddle away at her numbers, which went straight over their head, trusting her to still serve any customers coming in and close up the shop.
it was absolutely fine.
a simple, predictable routine – an equation she was perfectly happy to solve every single day.
until it wasn’t so easy.
| Φ |
some time later that night, the delicate bell above the doorway tinkled merrily.
it was well after the sun had dipped below the horizon and the moon had finally peeked out from behind dusty clouds, and so it had snapped her straight out of her trance. she had been listening to the music of mathematical constants singing to her of defined, set values from the sheet of paper placed against the wooden clipboard of ‘speciality beverages’.
it was him.
toji fushiguro.
the dark haired boy she had seen around campus, although he probably hadn’t noticed her flitting about between lectures.
he was unusually quiet and unfairly attractive. the boy who obviously frequented the gym close by, and came here to her little cafe afterwards. that much was obvious from the way the wet strands of hair stuck to his forehead, the spicy smell of whatever body wash he used, and the all black attire he always wore.
the very same same boy who she’d curiously asked about, only to be told that he kept to himself and didn’t really speak to anybody.
and she believed it.
she had never seen him walking with anybody else, or even bringing anyone along to his daily study sessions at the cafe. the way he grimaced at loud, boisterous students, typical of their age group, told her enough. that toji fushiguro didn’t seem to like people very much, and was perfectly happy with not being liked in return.
“hello,” she meekly piped out, her voice barely above a squeak. “what would you like?”
it was a silly question, she knew he would order his usual.
green tea.
just like her.
but it was a question she asked regardless, just in case his routine equation had somehow changed. you never know, perhaps the angels had miscalculated or wrote down a wrong number – it happens to everyone.
“green tea, please,” he grunted, not quite meeting her eyes.
he then sauntered off to his usual table by the window, and began pulling out his study material from his canvas bag.
she was grateful for the simplicity of their routine. there was nothing worse than preparing an elaborate order in the quiet of the night and disturbing the peace. brewing green tea was something she knew like the back of her hand, easy and peaceful like breathing. she strained the herbs as she poured it into a delicate ceramic cup, which the cafe insisted on serving it in, and brought it over to him.
toji muttered a small thank you, and she politely smiled, even though he never once looked at her. she walked back to her spot behind the counter, and placed the clipboard on her crossed legs, and resumed her musings.
such was their routine.
the both of them in their respective worlds within the same plane that was the cafe, sipping their green tea and whittling away at their education.
strangely, she almost felt honored that of all the cafes open late into the night, this was the one he picked to come to. even if the bitter, realistic part of her insisted that it was only because it was conveniently close to the gym. still, their equations followed the exact same sequence of numbers at that time every day, and she found that positively wonderful.
it was nearing 10:30p.m when she finally finished solving her report, and she looked up to see toji was completely engrossed in whatever he was working on.
he should have noticed the time by now.
he would have normally packed up his things at this point, but not before ordering one last cup of tea before heading off wherever it was he went to in the dead of night. probably back to his accommodation, she assumed, because he just didn’t seem like the type to show up to late-night parties full of booze and sweat.
she didn’t know what to say, or even how to say it.
the logical part of her brain was overthinking everything.
this just wasn’t the norm for them.
toji was supposed to have tidied up after himself, leave just the exact amount of money on the counter, and walk out the door without another word. she almost considered not even saying anything at all, biding her time until he simply realized himself and walked out.
until her legs moved of their, seemingly of their own accord, straight towards him.
perhaps it was all a result of the numbers being messily rubbed away and rewritten. he never even heard her; his black wired earbuds were firmly in his ears, and she wondered what sort of music it was that toji fushiguro listened to. she quickly tapped his shoulder, withdrawing her hand back to her side as quickly as she could.
toji practically jumped out of his skin as he turned to acknowledge her.
“sorry,” she apologized, looking pointedly over at the clock on the wall above him. “but we’re closing soon.”
toji frowned, like he didn’t really believe her, until he glanced at the digital clock on his laptop and jumped into action. “sorry,” he said rather awkwardly, hurriedly packing up his things as she stood at a respectful distance away.
“it’s no problem at all. please, take your time,” she replied as politely and delicately as she possibly could, looking away as he messily scraped his papers and notebooks into his bag.
his chair scraped uncomfortably across the floor, and he heaved his bag over his shoulder as he shoved a hand into his pocket, fishing for the exact change he needed. for a second, she thought, hoped, that he would hand it to her. but no, he almost jogged over to the counter and placed it right next to the black mug of green tea beside her clipboard.
toji paused, momentarily staring at her mug. she felt a flush of embarrassment, as if even he knew she wasn’t supposed to be drinking it out of a large mug. but he said nothing and rushed outside.
everything fell back into place according to the laws of the world, and seemed to right again.
| Φ |
there was something inherently uncomfortable about contemplating the future.
as summer rapidly approached, with only about four months left of the semester, she found herself forced to confront equations she didn’t want to solve. it was always during the night, when she should have been fast asleep, that she really tried to listen in on the angels scribbling away at her numbers. it was cheating really, an easy way out to hear the answers of what she was supposed to do.
perhaps if the end of her final year wasn’t so dreadfully final, then it would have been easier to formulate her own answers.
well, they weren’t really her own, but anyway.
she was in her own little bubble tonight, absentmindedly sipping her tea and tapping her pen against the clipboard. she knew the answer to the problem at hand, some menial question about what angle a beam of light would reflect at, and so she could afford to daydream and listen to the music of the numbers singing in her head.
it was quite easy to imagine a picture being painted from the numbers. why bother calculating the angle when you could visualize the light bending instead?
that was what mattered in the end, not just the face value of the number itself, but the tangible reality they represented.
there was no point in scribbling away at the numbers if you couldn’t paint a picture in your mind of the light itself or feel the thumping of sound waves reverberating through the surrounding medium.
there was only her and toji in the cafe now. he’d breezed past her earlier on the way in straight to his seat, dumping his bag on the table with the air of a student who was beyond fed up with their lot. she knew what it looked like; she’d seen it too many times throughout the years and had been through that position herself.
she tried not to make it obvious she was looking at him, or admiring the way his arms moved in the tight compression shirt he wore.
or the way his wet hair was slightly slicked back today.
and the way his annoyance sparked a beautiful flame of green in his eyes.
he looked over at her.
dammit.
she heard his footsteps approaching her, but her embarrassment forced her not to even look at him. instead, she focused heavily on pretending to be stuck on the paper in front of her.
“hey, uh, can i get a green tea?” he asked, his voice deep and undeniably addictive. “please?”
“oh yes, of course!” she replied swiftly, putting on her best customer service voice to shield her embarrassment as best as she possibly could.
toji shifted his feet from side to side, his hands in his pockets, and mumbled, “could i possibly have it in a mug, or something? it’s just… the teacups are really small.”
a deviation in the curve, an unexpected variable.
she answered anyway, perhaps a little unsurely, “oh, sure, yeah. no problem at all. is this one fine?” she lifted her mug awkwardly off the table, and toji looked at it and nodded.
“yeah, that would be great. is it, uh, more expensive?”
the way he asked it made her heart ache, as if he was ashamed of having to in the first place.
oh.
i’m so sorry.
she waved her hand at him, playing it off like a silly unnecessary question. “oh no, not at all. don’t worry about it.”
toji seemed visibly gladdened at this, the tension in his face releasing as his eyes brightened. he stood there, swinging on the balls of his feet, and she was quite surprised he was waiting for her to finish brewing the tea instead of bringing it over to him. she had to steady the slight tremor in her hand as he watched her brew the tea with practiced precision. after what seemed like an eternity, she placed the mug on a small plate and carefully handed it to him.
“thanks,” he said quietly, his eyes fixated on the mug and the thin wisps of steam wafting from it. then, like an afterthought that was actually painfully thought out, he added, “appreciate it.”
she could have sworn the corner of his lip lifted, and she almost lost her footing as she sat back down on her stool. though she knew it was impossible, it seemed as if time had been stuck in that moment, the laws of physics crying out for some sense of normalcy to resume.
and so she cleared her throat, pulling free time from where its coat was stuck on the doorknob. “no worries. let me know if you need anything else.”
but he was already walking back to his seat.
firmly slotting back the numbers and variables into the places they were supposed to be.
newton’s first law of motion states that an object at rest or uniform motion will continue to stay that way unless acted upon by a net external force.
or the law of inertia, as it was also called, and she much preferred that instead. it was what she thought of every time she saw toji making his way to the door of the cafe from the window, taking large, purposeful strides like he knew where he always wanted to go at all times. he was that object in uniform motion, his life seemingly constant without any real deviations. she thought of it every time he walked out of the door too, and wondered if there would ever be anything significant enough to achieve a large enough force to change his trajectory.
so what large enough force had been applied to make him finally ask for a change to how he drank his tea?
maybe he had never considered it before, never realized there was any other option other than the abysmally tiny teacup he had used before. perhaps the fact that he had stopped and seen her mug the night before had opened up new possibilities for him.
whatever it was, it didn’t really matter, because he looked so much more at ease now that he wasn’t hanging on for dear life to a teacup too small for those hands of his.
those big, attractive hands, with good, strong veins running through them.
toji looked up at her from behind his laptop.
the tip-taps of her pen became just a notch louder, and she bit her lip, almost crossing her eyes as she focused a little too hard into the hole of the letter ‘a’ in the word ‘angle’.
dammit.
| Φ |
it was march, and the cherry blossoms that grew around campus were now blossoming in full swing.
what little free time she had between university work, endless laboratory reports, and working at the cafe, was spent walking around the town and parks. while hearing the songs of physics and numbers was her way of life, sometimes it was nice to wind down and appreciate the beauty of biology and chemistry.
to see how the rain that fell from the skies was soaked up by the weed flowers thriving in the cracks of the pavement. they were tiny little warriors, persevering in the face of the hundreds of people who surely walked this path, avoiding death by being crushed.
the air was cool, and it was late enough in the day to make it feel much cooler than it should have been. she rubbed her arms through her jacket and picked up the pace. it was a week break in the semester, and it was much busier than it should have been for that time of the day. her manager had offered her more hours to work during the break, and she had mistakenly accepted the offer instead of taking some time for herself to do what she liked.
she entered the cafe, the little bell chiming, and smiled at her colleague, who seemed rather grateful that they weren’t alone to deal with the swarm of students enjoying a relaxing coffee. it was rather different from the anxious energy that usually accompanied students in here, but it was a welcome change to see unburdened smiles before the exam season hit them all in full merciless force.
together, they took on the onslaught of orders from all the customers walking into their quaint little cafe in the middle of campus. she couldn’t remember the last time she’d made such complex teas, brewing flavor combinations she couldn’t even concoct in her wildest dreams.
by the end of the rush, with her colleague having finished their shift, she was left in a frazzled state of tea stains and sticky sugary syrup.
and that is precisely when toji fushiguro decided to walk through the door.
she almost froze, a mixture of shock and embarrassment washing over like a bucket of ice-cold water. why, she’d never seen him in the cafe while the sun was still in the sky, and he wasn’t even dressed in his usual fitness attire either. instead, it was a black jumper and jeans. this was most certainly not part of the equation at all; she had never even considered to calculate the probability of such an event occurring.
“hey,” he greeted, as casual as the jeans he was wearing, while fidgeting with the hem of his jumper.
“hi,” she answered, dusting off some imaginary dust from her apron because she didn’t know what else to do with her hands. “the usual?”
toji seemed somewhat surprised at this. “yeah, please.”
she couldn’t lie; it was such a welcome relief to make something so simple amidst the chaos that was the ever-changing trends of beverages. had the universe written an additional formula just to provide her with just a moment’s respite?
or was it the law of attraction being employed?
no, that was surely wishful thinking.
there was no way that toji fushiguro had anything in common with her.
“are you sitting in or taking away?” she prompted, the extra words slipping through her lips.
he thought about it for a second before nodding his head, “uh, yeah, takeaway please.”
“no problem,” she replied smoothly, amazed at how well she was deviating from their usual interactions, and poured the tea into a disposable cup. “there you go.”
toji mumbled a ‘thank you’ as he carefully placed the coins on the counter, his hands completely enveloping what she would have once considered a large cup.
what compelled her to say the following words, she didn’t really know, but she called out in a hopefully not-so-loud voice as he turned to leave, “enjoy the blossoms!”
just why?
why would you say that?
she was even more mortified when toji simply walked out the door without sparing her a second glance. the universe was cruel for adding that into the equation, and she could have sworn, to add further insult to injury, that two girls had watched their exchange and were snickering.
enjoy the blossoms?
stupid, stupid, stupid!
| Φ |
for the rest of the day, she felt as if the second law of thermodynamics very much applied to her.
as she recounted her absolutely horrific exchange with toji, she felt the heat of the universe pressing down on her isolated being, causing her atoms inside of her to bounce of the walls that was her skin, sending her into a more and more disorganized chaotic state of existence. she actually hoped for once that the deviance of the otherwise constant line would continue to do so, and that toji wouldn’t come to the cafe later on that night.
then she could resume solving the equation as it was meant to be solved for the next night, and she could continue on as if nothing ever happened in the first place.
so when their routine did end up resuming its normalcy, and toji walked into the cafe with his dark wet hair and canvas bag, she was too mortified to even speak to him, despite him being the only customer in the shop. she got straight to work brewing him his tea, avoiding even looking anywhere near him as he set his things down at the table.
her lack of attention, for once, almost caused a head-on collision.
“hey, oh shit! sorry,” toji cussed, even though it was completely her fault, as he stopped whatever momentum he had in his body from crashing into her.
she hissed as the scalding tea splashed onto her fingers. “oh, no, i’m sorry! are you alright?”
“yeah, don’t worry about it.”
with a wobbly, quivering lip, she went around him and placed his mug on the table, being careful to avoid placing the wet bottom anywhere near his papers. it was there she caught a glimpse of some messily scrawled-out calculations on a piece of scratch paper, and her brain immediately started to sing.
no, don’t stare. it’s rude.
“sorry again,” she whispered, looking straight at the ground and being careful to not step in his way again.
toji never even made a sound, and she didn’t dare to look up to see if he was looking at her. she ran her finger under some cold water before taking her usual seat at the counter, and picked up where she left off on summarizing her lectures. it was perfectly quiet now, save for the scratching of her pen on paper and toji typing away on his keyboard. this was peaceful, easy, and– hold on. why could she hear the sound of the music?
“hey, sorry to interrupt,” toji interjected, making her jump. “do you have any sandwiches or something left?”
“oh! no, i’m sorry, what’s on display is what’s left,” she answered shakily, putting her pen down on the counter. “i, um- the protein balls are pretty decent, if you like that sort of thing.”
“oh, sure. yeah,” he murmured, looking at the several flavors that were available. “I’ll take the, uh, peanut flavor. that any good?”
she smiled softly, despite the throbbing sensation in her finger. “yeah, it’s not bad. you want two?” he nodded, and she wrapped them both up in a paper bag as he procured out coins from his pocket.
toji dug around some more, patting down his pockets to make sure there was definitely nothing lingering in there, and his stomach audibly growled. the air became a touch too awkward, and she stared at the sad-looking change on the counter.
she slid the bag over to him with quiet understanding, and gave him the kindest smile she possibly could.
“hey, don’t worry about it. it’s on the house,” she encouraged. “sorry, i should have said that from the beginning.”
toji shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “oh no, i couldn’t do that. sorry, i’ll just leave it. i thought i had enough change.”
she pushed the bag further towards him. “it’s fine, i insist. please.”
he slowly took the bag, as if he wasn’t sure that it was real, or that it was maybe going to bite him. “thanks,” he said quietly, and retreated back to his seat, packing up his things, while she sat there trying to will her atoms back into their rightful place.
“thanks again,” toji rumbled softly as he held the door halfway open. “i’ll see you tomorrow?”
“o-oh yeah! yeah, see you tomorrow,” she stuttered back.
with that, he closed the door behind him, the bell tingling a beautiful farewell for him, and she was left with the atoms of her thumping heart completely dispersing into the atmosphere as she frantically tried to claw them back down.
| Φ |
tomorrow came and went, and they had settled into a slightly different flow of their routine.
instead of waiting for her to bring over his tea, toji now waited at the counter for her to hand him a large, steaming mug of his fix. they never spoke anymore than what they did before, but there was something that had changed between them. something so subtle that it couldn’t be defined properly, but she knew it was there, and she hoped toji knew it too.
it was april now, and the flurry of students cramming for their exams in may were in full swing. when she wasn’t at the cafe, she was holed up in her shared accommodation, buried underneath a blanket that may as well have been a black hole swallowing her whole. there, she studied for the last set of exams she would ever have to sit at university, but she tried not to dwell on that fact.
not that she didn’t study at the cafe, but toji’s presence added an extra dynamic that made it difficult to focus as well as when she was alone.
despite her best efforts, she couldn’t help but constantly glance at him when she was confident he wasn’t looking. right now, she could tell he was silently stressing over his exams too. spending so long in silence with another person meant she could tell the slight quirks in his face that signalled a changed in trajectory of emotion.
currently, the deep frown lines etched in his forehead meant that he was monumentally stuck on something. he’d been like that ever since he powered up his laptop and stared at the screen, the dim light casting an artificial, cold glow on his face.
once again, she didn’t know what compelled her to do what she did next.
maybe it was the fact she knew he had barely touched his tea, and it was surely cold by now. or maybe it was the desire to momentarily distract him from his frustration by bringing him a warm, fresh brew. whatever it was, her body was moving according some new formula the angels had applied, and she found herself simply walking over without saying anything and placing a piping hot mug next to his laptop.
“huh? oh, thanks,” toji said slowly, daze-like, as if he wasn’t sure she was real and doing this.
she smiled softly, quickly glancing at the scratch paper in front of him, and oh no – he wasn’t composing the music correctly at all.
“that isn’t the answer,” she stated simply, looking back up at him. he frowned again, momentarily confused, until she pointed at his paper and said, “you’ve calculated this wrong. that isn’t the right equation to use.”
toji looked back down at his paper, sighing softly, and rubbed his face as he seemed to sink deeper and deeper into his chair. she couldn’t understand it; there was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in getting a question wrong. she’d done it before herself many times, and more than likely would continue to do so.
“sorry, i-uh, i’m not very good at mathematics,” he mumbled shyly, and her heart started to crumble like a biscuit.
she pulled her pen out of her pocket and clicked it once. “no need to be sorry. do you want me to show you how to do it?”
toji nodded wordlessly, and slid the paper over to her, angling the laptop so she could see the question displayed. it was about calculating the speed of an athlete's arm as they threw a ball through the air, but he hadn’t used the correct equation, nor the correct standard units. she quickly wrote out every step of how to solve it, did a final check that her mental calculations were correct against his gray calculator, and slid the paper back to him.
“there, be careful with your units and don’t forget to include them. most of my professors have strict marking against not writing the proper ones, i don’t know about yours, but it might be better to be safe than sorry,” she explained, her throat tightening as he intently looked at her working out.
it felt personal on another sort of level, and strangely intimate.
he seemed to be taking his time studying it, with a slightly blank look, as if what she had done was still going well over his head. “yeah, good point. thank you,” was all he mustered, and he tilted his head at the scratch paper.
“do you want me to explain anything?” she prompted, half expecting him to pretend that he understood everything. that would have been typical of a student at university - faking it until they somehow made it.
so she was pleasantly surprised, but not at all unwilling to explain it when toji nodded again, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks. she tried to recall how her teachers in high school had taught her these concepts, trying to adapt their tone of voice: patient and understanding. she leaned over to be more at eye level at him, trying to seem less intimidating, and their close proximity was sending her brain into overdrive.
“i hope this makes more sense now,” she said as she wrapped up the explanation.
toji’s lips formed a small ‘o’ shape, and the scar gracing them resembled the greek letter phi, but with the line running over to the right side instead of the middle. if she didn’t need anymore proof that the boy sitting in front of her was perfect, then the angels had just thrown in the winning factor.
phi, the perfect golden constant, now belonged in her mind only to toji fushiguro.
“uh, yeah actually,” he hummed, seemingly appreciative, his eyes sparkling against the dim lighting of the cafe. “thanks so much.”
she couldn’t help it, but she grinned widely. “no problem at all.”
she started to walk away, biting her lip when she turned her back to him, already feeling the bitter sting of disappointment that things would probably be back to normal after yet another deviation. until toji called out, “you’re really good at this. what do you study?”
“physics,” she replied, hoping the shock wasn’t too evident in her voice. “what about you?”
“P.E.,” he answered, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. she had to try very hard not to stare at how nice his biceps looked. “i stupidly decided to add a sports biomechanics module as my optional one. kinda regretting it now.”
toji chuckled halfheartedly, and she almost swooned, but opted to tilt her head to the side and say, “oh, but don’t you find it fascinating? it’s the numbers behind the real output of an athlete.”
“oh, well i never really thought about it that way.” he seemed to be genuinely pondering her outlook on the matter, staring hard at the numbers before him, and she felt the blood rising to her cheeks. toji looked back up at her and smiled a devastatingly handsome smile. “i suppose it makes sense for you to think like that.”
she didn’t really know how to reply to that except an, “i guess so,” and then added a polite follow-up of, “what sort of sport do you, then?”
“judo and jujutsu,” toji replied smoothly and completely casually. “i train at the gym before i come here.”
“oh yeah? that’s quite intense.”
“not so much if you enjoy it, really.”
“easy for you to say. you’re obviously in much better shape than the rest of us.”
she almost cringed externally at that.
obviously much better shape? why on earth would you say obviously, stupid?
but toji only chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “hard work, i guess.” he mumbled, staring back at his paper.
she glanced up at the time, noting that it was almost time to close. “well, i’m sorry, but you might have to practice it yourself at home.”
he looked panicked for a second, his eyes darting over to the clock. “oh, yeah. probably.” and started to slowly pack up his things.
she didn’t want to observe him anymore than she already had, so she busied herself by washing their mugs and quickly wiping down the counter for the morning shift, while toji was taking his time neatly packing away his things. was it wishful thinking that perhaps he was stalling. whether it was or wasn’t, she left him to it, switching off the lights everywhere except at the entrance. she swept her eyes over the cafe to make sure she hadn’t missed anything before heading out.
toji stood beside the door, his eyes flitting about anywhere but her, obviously waiting for her to finish locking up. she tried to ignore the fluttering in her chest and smiled awkwardly at him as he finally met her gaze. he shuffled outside before she did, hands in his pockets as he looked up at the nights sky, the silver moon shining between stringy wisps of clouds.
he looked like a scene straight from a movie – a movie where a beautiful boy was up against the weight of the world.
she could see it all clearly now: his scuffed up trainers, canvas bag with dirt stains scraping the bottom of it, the hole in his shirt near the hem. and yet, she knew he had real strength, the quiet sort of kind, that would completely surprise anybody that decided to come at him.
she locked the door behind her, the keys jangling, disturbing the relative quiet of the street. the distant whooping of boisterous students, no doubt drinking and partying away their stress, could be heard a little ways off into the distance. the bright light of the 7-11 across the streets flickered, and she briefly considered buying some cheap dinner before heading home.
she cleared her throat and gave him a small smile. “well, good luck studying.”
toji breathed out a half-hearted laugh. “thanks, i’ll need it.”
“if you’re still having trouble with your calculations, you can always ask me tomorrow,” she reassured, feeling bold enough to assume that his equation would continue to equate to hers.
he seemed to hesitate, as if debating something within his head, and replied, “yeah, sure.” but his tone left much to be desired, and she was already kicking herself for being so direct. “sounds good.”
she bit her lip and mumbled a weak ‘goodnight’ before walking straight into the 7-11 to escape.
| Φ |
the next night in the cafe, after quite a long day of punching numbers into her calculator and her eyes swimming with all sorts of symbols, she was contemplating the sheer power of a supernova explosion.
it was golden hour, and toji had arrived much earlier to study. his deviations from the norm weren't so jarring anymore, and she’d almost come to sort of expect them at this point. he’d actually met her eyes as she prepared his tea, and even offered her a smile and a ‘thank you’.
the time passed on quickly, and soon enough, it was just her, toji, and two other customers – fellow students – inhabiting the same area. it was around 9:17p.m., the usual time for it to be a sacred silence. so when four boys staggered through the door, the bell cried out aggressively from the force of them nearly ripping open the door, completely tearing her from whatever daydreams she had been lost in.
they were cruel, uncaring about her or the other patrons they were disturbing with their raised voices and boisterous behavior. she kept her cool, not letting their jeers and sly comments get to her as she prepared their orders, wanting to get them out of the cafe as soon as she possibly could. one of them was particular unnerving, staring at her more than the others did, a creepy smirk on his lips and dangerous glint in his eyes.
he was like a black hole, and she felt as if she was about to be swallowed alive.
she felt like she couldn’t breath.
as if her body didn’t remember the biomechanical process to allow her to expand her lungs and fill them with sweet air.
were the angels in serious danger of their calculations becoming completely wrong? was her equation to become something twisted and tragic by the end of the night?
when the group left, the evil boy had glanced over his shoulder to give her one last indecipherable look before he took off at a run after his friends. she exhaled shakily, willing her body to remember how to breath, and decided to distract herself by cleaning any and all random nooks and crannies she could find in an effort to distract herself.
oh how she hated them those stupid, idiotic boys – and that their words and manners had such an impact on her.
she’d worked herself into such a state that she hadn’t even noticed toji standing awkwardly at the counter until she turned to sip at her ice-cold tea, and almost yelped in surprise.
“hey,” toji greeted gently, delicate raindrops against a pane of glass. “it’s eleven.”
and so it was as she noted the time on the clock. she wiped her brow and discarded the now completely blackened cleaning cloth into the rubbish. “sorry, i’ll just get the keys now. you head on.”
“no, it’s okay,” he hummed. “take your time. i’ll be outside.”
when she finally finished the usual locking-up routine, toji had resumed that vision of perfection from the previous night, and it was almost impossible to even consider, but he was even more dreamy than before. toji had to have been carved by michealangelo; born of marble and beauty, and forced to to live in this plane of existence. in some rural countryside of japan, at a public university campus, surrounded by bog-standard students trying to scrape through life.
she felt he didn’t really belong here, as if he was already slipping through her fingers, even though he never really was between them to begin with.
“see you tomorrow,” she said in farewell, giving him a small wave and already walking away.
the loud thuds against the pavement reverberated the immediate vicinity, and toji huffed as he caught up to her, “hey, uh, whereabouts do you live?”
“not too far, about a ten-minute walk away,” she replied, almost floored at the fact that he had just run after her. “why?”
“just… you ok if i tag along? i could use the company.”
“…sure?”
they walked side by side in silence, and her mind was going into complete overdrive. she was trying so hard not to be completely floored that somehow, on a random April night, toji fushiguro was walking her home. it was obvious that he was lying about company – perhaps not an outright lie, but it definitely wasn’t the whole truth. time seemed to have passed quicker than it should have, and before she knew it, they had arrived at her accommodation. toji seemed to hover, looking over his shoulder, his body seemingly tense.
“well, this is me,” she announced, jingling her keys for good measure. “huh, are you okay?”
toji was glaring into the darkness, into the twisted labyrinth of twists and turns in between buildings, only really half-listening. “yeah,” he replied tersely, his fists clenching. “you’re staying at home tonight, right?”
she nodded nervously, suddenly hyperaware of the deep, foreboding inkiness of the night. “mhm.”
he turned to her, verdant eyes simmering with something nearly as dark as the sky. “good, i’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“bye, toji.”
but he was already striding off into the labyrinth, off to face the dirt and coal thrown at him, when he himself was made of marble and gold.
| Φ |
a week after toji had walked her home, she had her first final exam, during which the whole time her thoughts were consumed by him.
of toji fushiguro.
toji and his eyes of forests and jade. of his sculpted body, and all the angles and lines that made up his face. his scar that made him golden and perfect, her phi. of how she had seen him on campus the next morning after he walked her home, wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, split knuckles raw and red against the marble of his skin. how he’d finally noticed her outside the cafe for the first time and actually smiled at her.
her friends – more so acquaintances who had happened to become close simply because they were on the same course –had noticed the exchange. when toji had walked well out of earshot, they had bombarded her with hushed whisper-yells of excited “oh my god!" and "how did you even get him to smile? i’ve never even heard him speak.”
and she’d shrugged them off, fending off their curiosity with, “oh, he comes to the cafe all the time, that’s all.”
she didn’t want to get into all the details of toji and her. well, just toji really – there was no 'and her'. their time together was a coveted treasure, and she was strangely possessive over it.
that night, as she handed toji his tea, she plucked up the courage to ask, “what happened to your hands?”
toji automatically looked down at them, flexing them as if even mentioning them made them burn with pain. “oh, nothing, just went a bit too hard at training.”
it didn’t occur to her not to believe him until she was staring blankly at the last question of her exam.
she thought of the evil boy in the cafe, of toji staring down into the darkness and looking over his shoulder as if demons were just behind them, and he was the only thing keeping them at bay. maybe he really was doing just that. maybe that’s why he had continued to walk her home every night, as their graphs continued to overlap even more closely together.
she came out of that exam feeling as if some sort of hidden revelation was waiting to be discovered, and by god, how much she loved to solve for a new equation.
toji was already waiting for her at the cafe when she arrived for her shift, an occurrence steadily getting earlier. he immediately took note of her coming in, and his eyes lit up. she smiled brightly at him, offering him two thumbs up, to which he grinned and pushed away his laptop before approached her.
“so, it went well then?” he prompted, the ghost of a smile still playing on his lips.
she poured them both two mugs of tea, and held hers out towards him. “yeah, it wasn’t too bad actually. cheers to that!”
toji chuckled and clinked his mug with hers, the both of them blowing on the tea before sipping it tentatively. he went back to his table, resuming whatever he had been doing, and leaving her to serve the customers. that was perhaps the only drawback of toji arriving earlier - that their time spent together was interrupted. but it also served as a tantalizing countdown to when it was just the two of them.
obviously, their dynamic had shifted dramatically in the past week, and they’d settled into an easy-flowing sequence – something that felt as if phi would be, so perfectly balanced and positively golden. toji seemed to want to unveil the mystery of his equation to her, but bit by bit, which she didn’t mind at all. she loved slowing figuring out the scale of his axes, plotting all his points together, and finally drawing the curve that connected them all.
toji fushiguro could only be described as steady, a mountain that would never bend or break, his roots so profoundly deep that she had to really dig to see them.
he loved his body, but not in a superficial way, but more that it was something he was in control of and could continually improve. she discovered that he drank green tea not just because it was healthy, but because it was cheap. how most of his gym wear had varying sizes of holes, and he carried around a tiny sewing kit in his bag at all times because he sometimes only noticed one when he was out and about.
most importantly, today he had divulged what he wanted for his future.
“i want to get out of this hellhole as soon as i can,” toji had sighed exaggeratedly, stretching his neck backwards. whenever the last customer had left the cafe, he’d drag a chair over to the edge of the counter. not so directly in front of it that he was blocking any customers, but just enough so that they were sitting across from each other.
she rolled her eyes playfully at him, nibbling at the cap of her pen. “oh, how original. you and every other student in this university.”
“well yeah, obviously, but not as much as me,” he retorted.
“what make you so different, then?”
“i’ve always wanted to leave, even before i got here. i want to to go and live in tokyo.”
“tokyo, huh? and what do you wanna do there?”
“well, eventually i want to open my own dojo and teach jujitsu, but i’d probably have to start out as an instructor.”
“oh wow, you’ve got a solid sort of plan. have you always wanted to do that?”
“yeah, i really hate it here.”
and he’d gone quiet, but she didn’t press him. instead, she focused on her textbook because there were still exams to be studied for, and waited for toji to come back to her. where he went in those moments, she didn’t know. there was something lurking in the shadow of the mountain, and he still seemed to be fighting against it even now.
she knew he’d come back to her when he’d lean in closer, cheek against his palm, and try to make sense of whatever diagrams appeared on the pages she was reading.
“that looks cool,” toji murmured, pointing at whatever had piqued his interest. “what is it?”
and she discovered, not that it was a real shock, that toji was so very curious. he wanted to know things, he liked to know how things worked, and he was really clever. she would explain as best as she could, and toji would follow along diligently, nodding his head every so often and asking the occasional question. many people probably underestimated just how smart he really was, but she never did.
“this is a diagram that sort of shows what einstein’s theory of general relativity is all about.”
“ah right, it’s pretty famous then isn’t it? cuz it’s einstein's.”
“haha, i suppose so, yeah.”
“what’s it about?”
she bit her lip and tilted her head, placing her finger as a makeshift bookmark and closed the book between her fingers. “it’s about… how really big objects like planets and stars cause gravity by bending space-time.”
“bending space-time is gravity?”
“it’s because the bigger object has caused smaller ones to be pulled closer to it, if that makes sense.”
toji nodded slowly and laughed. “it’s a bit over my head. how you perfectly understand it is beyond me though.”
“i wouldn’t say perfectly,” she replied bashfully. “but i think it’s a beautiful theory.”
“you think every theory is beautiful.”
“haha! no, well yes, but that’s besides the point!”
“well, what is the point?”
“that something has had such a profound impact, because it’s so big and larger than life that it’s impacting all the other small things around it and pulling them in closer to it.”
toji smiled, the kind of smile he had when he was more vulnerable and soft, when his barriers were down and forgotten about. the way he looked at her made her body jolt with thousands of little lightning bolts.
“yeah,” he mused thoughtfully. “yeah, that is kinda beautiful.”
| Φ |
five days.
that’s how long it had been since she’d seen toji, and she missed him more than she cared to admit, even to herself.
it wasn’t ideal, right smack in the middle of the exam season, to be so distracted by a boy, but toji fushiguro wasn’t just any boy. he was the boy who she spent every day with, and the past two weeks had been a rosy dream as they talked more and more. it was now the middle of may, and she was almost done with sitting all of her exams. she should have been thinking of her future, about a solid career plan, and where she wanted to live.
but no, all she could think of was the laws of physics and toji fushiguro, and counting down the days until she could see him again.
he was currently out on a placement excursion, teaching ten-year-old kids during their regular sports curriculum. it was almost comical, and she couldn’t help but smile to herself whenever she thought of toji surrounded by a bunch of wide-eyed children. he’d already been groaning about it before he left, about this and that, and how much he didn’t like silly kids and their silly faces.
“what are you smiling about?” one of her friends whispered suspiciously, leaning in closer to her so as not to disturb anybody else in the library.
she shook her head, and told a little lie, “oh, just about how close we are to finishing uni. it’s sort of unbelievable.”
her friend raised a brow, clearly not believing her. “sure, and it doesn’t have anything to do with fushiguro?”
“ugh, why do you keep bringing him up all the time? i told you there’s nothing going on there.”
“i’ll believe that when i stop seeing you smiling like an idiot in love. now, c’mon and focus on this.”
love?
no, no. it wasn’t love.
not quite yet, at least, but she knew it was getting there.
she felt a slight tremor in her chest, traveling all the way to the tips of her fingers and then the ends of her toes like an electric current across a wire. it was unfathomably scary to admit it, but it was nothing but the truth.
she was falling for toji fushiguro.
she ducked her head down, her pencil scratching against her notepad as she attempted yet another sample question, endeavouring to distract herself from all thoughts of him for the rest of the study session. as soon as she had to leave for the cafe, she practically shoved her things into her bag and almost ran towards it. toji should be back today, with it being friday and the school week coming to an end.
when she got there, her manager was behind the counter in the midst of serving a customer, and the cafe was reasonably busy. the overwhelming aroma of coffee wafted through her nose, warm and inviting, and familiar. she wondered if toji thought of her whenever he smelt coffee.
she certainly hoped that he did.
“great you’re here,” her manager beamed, handing her an apron to tie around her waist. “i was wondering if you would like to take some time off whenever you finish your exams? my nephew is coming to visit, and i’d like to put him to work instead of him lazing about all day.”
she was immediately hit with a sheer sense of panic. if she didn’t work, then how else was she supposed to see toji? it was so utterly embarrassing and pathetic, that she was so enamored with this boy that she was willing to work just to see him. but then she thought about what would happen after graduation, and how they realistically would not be seeing each other – perhaps ever again.
“sure, that’s alright with me,” is what she finally said after a moment's hesitation, but her manager obviously picked up on her hesitant tone.
“never have i ever seen a student who didn’t want time off work,” they chuckled, hand on their hip. “this has got to do with that dark haired boy, doesn’t it?”
heat creeped up into her cheeks, and she busied herself with pouring a cup of coffee for a customer, as her manager gazed at her in bemusement. “no,” she squeaked out.
“oh to be young again,” they said in a sing-song voice. “don’t worry about not working though, i’m sure that boy would follow you anywhere you go. i’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
she didn’t quite know how to respond to that.
when the moon had risen high into the sky and the shop was empty, she waited and waited for toji. he was late, and he should have been there by now. or maybe he wouldn’t come? she thought it might have been quite bold to assume he would have tonight. he was probably tired from a whole week of teaching, and maybe he had decided to just go home and rest. she couldn’t blame him for that.
but that didn’t stop the soul-crushing disappointment from tearing her in two.
the sky must have felt her distress, because soon enough the pitter-patter of rain falling against the roof ensued. maybe metaphysical pain was real, and maybe she would spend her whole life trying to prove her theory. what a tragic future, she thought, and sniffled as she locked the door behind her.
and then she turned around, and toji was standing there, his chest heaving.
for a moment, they just faced each other. he was all wet, black hoodie all soggy and weighed down, sticking to him like a second skin. his green eyes were alight, looking at her with a mixture of nerves and something else she couldn’t place. toji exhaled shakily, his lashes fluttering as he blinked fast.
“sorry,” he mumbled. “i tried to get here sooner, but there was an accident and my train was delayed.”
her heart melted; she felt as if she was one with the rain puddles in the dips of the pavement, one with the water pooling beneath toji’s feat. could it be love already? maybe her loved ones, wiser and older than her would have said it was, but she felt too young to know it.
and yet, here was a boy standing in front of her, who had run through the rain and labyrinth of buildings to get here.
“oh, toji,” she gushed, instinctively opening up her umbrella and shielding him from the torrent of the sky. “you’ll get sick.”
she didn’t realize just how close they were together, trapped underneath the tiny space, until toji was staring down at her. a water droplet dropped from his hair, over the ridge of his nose, caressing over his cupids bow and parted lips, all the way down to his chin and onto her lip.
she shivered, feeling as if their lips may as well have touched.
“it doesn’t matter,” toji whispered, in that deep, almost sad tone that belonged only to him, and she finally admitted internally just how much she missed his voice. “it’s only water.”
they stood there staring at each other for a heartbeat too long, until she broke the silence with, “let’s get out of here.”
and then they set off at a slow, shuffling pace, the backs of their hands and shoulders brushing against each other, and she thought a live spark might just ignite off her skin. the rain sounded like little stones tumbling off the top of the umbrella, and the smell of the wet pavement served as little momentary distractions against the all-consuming feeling of toji beside her.
she didn’t want it to end, and so when they reached the entrance to her accommodation, and turned to face him. “you can’t go home like this. do you want to come inside and dry off?”
toji’s eyebrows shot up, and he almost looked like a deer in the headlights. he was fighting within himself; she could see it in the way his hand flexed, his knuckle touching hers. “i’ll just make your floor wet though,” he muttered, looking down at the ground.
“it doesn’t matter,” she urged, and added a desperate. “please.”
that seemed to snap him out of whatever internal deliberation he was having, and toji nodded. “okay then.”
she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face, almost immediately turning towards the door to hide most of it from him, taking out the keys from her pocket and fumbled with one hand to grab the correct one for her door. his proximity behind her was beyond distracting, her back felt like the south side of a magnet, and toji was her north. it would be too easy to fall back into him, and so she endeavored to root her feet into the ground and resist the urge.
she finally opened it and they passed through the unwelcoming vibes of the main lobby, toji’s shoes squelching loudly with every step he took. the student behind the desk glancing uninterestedly up at them, and then sharply looked back up, staring with saucer eyes at toji in tow behind her.
she once again fought with her keys, the sound echoing throughout the empty corridor, and pushed open the door to her shared dorm. it was compact but efficient for two people to live comfortably together. her flatmate was curled up on the sofa with her boyfriend, shui, in the main living area, only lit up by whatever was on the tv.
“roomie!” her roommate called out, oblivious to toji’s presence. “how was studying today?”
“yeah, great,” she answered, glancing back at toji awkwardly standing by the door. “you?”
“all goo- oh! oh. hello there!” her roommate finally registered toji’s presence as the door clicked shut behind him, immediately jumping out of shiu’s arms, who also looked back over his shoulder in intrigue.
“hey,” toji mumbled, a puddle of water now collecting over the white tiles.
shiu waved his hand at toji, who flicked his chin upwards in acknowledgment. she immediately turned to her roommate, “hey, you think you have something from shui’s he could borrow?”
her roommate sprung into action, scrambling off the sofa. “yeah, yeah! sorry! i’ll be right back.”
toji remained where he was, stationary as a rock, his emerald orbs flicking every which way. she wondered what he was thinking, but she was too consumed by the monumental event that he was really standing there in her living room to dwell on it.
her roommate burst out of her room, smiling brightly as she handled a bundle of clothes to toji. “there you go! the bathroom’s just to the left there.”
he strode straight to the bathroom, his eyes meeting hers just before he closed the door.
“girl,” her roommate excitedly whispered, vigorously grabbing her forearms. “what the- what is going on? i didn’t know you and fushiguro were together.”
“we’re not together,” she rebuked, biting her lip. “we’re just… friends.”
her roommate scoffed, nearly bouncing up and down in glee. “shiu, you know this is the first time she’d brought a boy home.”
shiu hummed quietly, an unlit cigarette dangling between his lips. “that’s great, babe.”
her roommate scoffed, rolling her eyes at him, and her grip tightened just a fraction. “is he spending the night? oh my god, you both should stay and watch a movie with us.”
“oh, i don’t think he’ll stay…”
“girl, just go and get changed into something else, and i’ll talk to him when he comes out. you know people can’t say no to me.”
before she knew it, she was being pushed into her room, and the door was slammed behind her. she breathed out shakily, sliding against her wardrobe with her head in her hands. her heart was racing, and fuck fuck fuck, what the hell was she thinking bringing toji here?
she heard the bathroom door open, and the quiet baritone of toji’s voice mingled with her roommate's bubbly one. the words ‘pizza’ and ‘movie’ were mentioned, and she rushed to shimmy off her clothes and into her slightly better-looking loungewear, checking her hair was presentable enough. when she quietly opened her door, toji had his back towards her, wearing a black t-shirt that was a size too small and grey joggers that hugged his thick thighs.
he turned to face her, and the tense look on his face relaxed. her roommate piped up from the sofa, “hey! i was just saying that toji should stay and watch a movie with us while his clothes dry.”
she bit the inside of her cheek, and softly said to him, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
toji looked between her and her roommate, before replying with a low, “i’ll stay.”
her roommate clapped her hands together. “great! i’ll order the pizza.”
she walked over to the adjacent sofa to shiu, and hesitantly sat down on one edge of the sofa. toji followed and lowered himself onto the other empty side, leaving a space of everything and nothing between them. soon enough, her roommate returned and plonked herself right in between shiu’s spread legs, shuffling through the channels until she settled on a movie. the pizza arrived some time into the movie, and the four of them helped themselves. she couldn’t help but steal glances at toji, his face illuminated by the tv's glow as he brought a cheesy slice of pizza to his mouth, his expression blank and unreadable.
whatever way the angels must be solving her cosmic equation, they were obviously applying toji’s formula. their numbers were intertwining, creating a new constant, and she wondered what sort of symbol would represent the two of them.
toji met her gaze, and the corner of his lip curled upward.
after the movie had ended, her roommate had ushered a bemused shiu into her room and wiggled her fingers in an excited goodbye. “shh,” she’d giggled, while shiu rolled his eyes at her, tugging on the sleeve of her pyjama top. “don’t make too much noise, you two.”
and with that, she shut the door, leaving them alone.
together.
in her living room, on the same sofa.
“do you, uh, want to watch something else?” she murmured, her legs folded beneath her.
toji breathed out a quiet laugh. “please. i’m sorry, but that movie was actually so bad.”
she nearly snorted, clapping her hand over her mouth in an effort to contain her giggle. “yeah, it was pretty shit.”
the clock above the tv read 1:42 a.m., and she wondered if toji was tired. she assumed he would be after waking up so early to teach a bunch of energetic children. “you want some tea? i was just going to make some,” she asked, her ankles cracking as she rose from the sofa.
toji slapped his thighs, and steadily got up as well. “sure, but i should really get going soon. i don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“spend the night,” she blurted out before she could stop herself. “none of us would mind, i promise.”
she then stupidly, pathetically even, held out her pinky towards him. toji frowned, clearly confused. “what are you doing?”
“a pinky promise.”
“oh right, yeah.”
he curled his pinky around hers, and a tiny electric shock sparked between them. she hissed and drew her hand back, but their eyes met, and they both erupted into a fit of hushed giggles, which only served to make them laugh harder.
“okay, you stick something on tv and i’ll make the tea,” she grinned, her bare feet softly padding on the floor as she went over to the kitchen.
as the kettle boiled, she watched toji flicking aimlessly through the channels, his face contorting when he came across something he didn’t like. he settled back onto the sofa, legs spread out as he reclined, mop of thick hair resting against the armrest. the shock of having him her in her home had faded now, and it felt almost natural for them to be around each other in this way. she brought over his mug filled with green tea, and he looked up at her gratefully as he took it from her. she sat down on the other sofa, stretching her legs out. toji’s eyes were slightly red, and he was yawning great big yawns, with the mug delicately balanced on his chest and one arm behind his head. the tv was on a low volume, and she wanted to pause time, even just for a while.
“hey, just lemme know when you wanna sleep. you can sleep in my room,” she murmured, hands grasping both sides of her mug, feet rubbing against each other.
toji looked over at her, a scowl playing on his features. “and where are you going to sleep, the sofa?”
“well, yeah.”
“no.”
“but you’re the guest!”
“shut up, no.”
“bu-”
“no.”
she huffed playfully, throwing a hand up in surrender, to which toji smirked at. they sat in comfortable silence, watching some silly competition show play on. despite the tea, she could feel herself becoming sleepier by the minute. she looked over at toji, who seemed perfectly content to lie there and watch the contestants make complete fools of themselves.
“bet that guy’s gonna fall off,” he mumbled, his arms folded over his chest. she only hummed in response, her cheek squished against a pillow, and toji grunted, “you the sleepy one now?”
she laughed, which interrupted her yawn. “maybe.”
“go to sleep then. don’t stay up for me.”
oh, how much he didn’t know about how long she would stay up for him, and how long she would really wait. but she couldn’t say anything except, “you sure?”
“yeah, yeah, i’m cool here.”
“hold on, lemme get you a blanket and pillow before i go.”
she returned promptly with them, kneeling down to place them on the floor beside him. when she looked up, she didn’t realize just how close his face was to hers. toji’s eyes flicked down to her lips, then back up to her eyes.
she gulped.
“good night,” he whispered.
“night,” was all she could muster before overcoming the magnetism between them and walking away.
| Φ |
the final stretch.
a flurry of pens on paper, pounding hearts, a tripwire of nerves, and then…
“time’s up! everyone please put down your pens. the exam is officially concluded.”
she leaned back in her seat, a sheer sense of awe crawling over her. this was it, she was done. her last university exam, all of it was finally over after three long years. her fellow students were of similar sentiment, with wide, nervous smiles, as if they all couldn’t really believe this was happening, as the smacks of numerous pats on the back reverberated through the hall.
the sun was shining on her face as she exited the exam hall, warm and inviting, promising that the hope for the future wasn’t unfounded. they were all high on life, with the thought that the world was their oyster, and they would all be lucky enough to find their own pearls.
“oh my god,” her friend groaned exaggeratedly, hands on her knees as if she’d just run a marathon. “it’s over.”
"yeah, it is," she hummed in agreement, basking in the sheer awe of the moment.
her friend barked out a laugh and clasped her hands together. “right then, i’m going to get ready for the party tonight. you are coming, right?”
“yeah of course,” she confirmed, shocking even herself that she would be going out. “we can only celebrate this once.”
her friend squealed, pulling her into a big hug before breaking away and trotting off. “bring fushiguro! maybe you both can get drunk and finally kiss,” she called out over her shoulder.
a few students looked over at her, and the embarrassment was almost crushing. she’d come to understand now that everyone on campus knew who toji fushiguro was. he was renowned for his adonis figure, the kind of handsome that only existed in fiction, and the fact he most certainly wasn’t associated with any girls or went to any parties.
until perhaps now, of course.
later that night at the cafe, as she fidgeted at her spot behind the counter, she plucked up the courage to ask toji, “so, you can totally say no if you don’t want to come, but there’s a party that’s happening in my building to celebrate the end of exams.”
toji looked up from reading her quantum mechanics textbook she had brought and grunted, “a party, huh. you going?”
“yeah, i’ll be heading over after closing up,” she replied, a bit deflated that he hadn’t seemed to notice she had dressed up quite a bit from her usual attire.
he hummed, nodded, and went back to reading. “i’ll see how i feel.”
that was no definitive reply, and she picked apart his usual baritone and analyzed in her mind as she went through a back-and-forth internal debate, trying to deduce some sort of meaning from it. she’d arrived to the party about an hour ago, and she was still thinking about it as she sipped away at some fruit-flavored punch that was far too delicious and dangerous for someone who didn't really drink. her lips were already numb, and the creeping giddiness was making her feel the joyousness of all that life is and would be.
her course mates had their arms around her shoulders, all of them loudly singing, more slurring really, in a circle to whatever song was thumping through the speakers. a part of her wanted to loose herself in the silliness of it all; it gave her courage and made her seem capable of things she would never have even dreamed of sober.
“oh my- don’t look, but fushiguro is actually here,” her friend slurred through her ear, nearly shouting and sending a ringing noise piercing through her eardrum.
she turned around, and sure enough, there was toji fushiguro pushing his way through the throng of students dancing in the cramped apartment they had decided to congregate in. his green eyes met hers, and relief ran over his features. it was cheesy, as well as completely impossible, but time seemed stretch and distort, slowing to a crawl the closer he got to her. her friend released her from the circle, giving her a calculated shove and sending her stumbling over her own feet.
straight into toji’s waiting arms.
“oh, fuck,” he shouted as he caught her, holding her forearms in a firm grip. “you okay?”
she stared up at him, the alcohol running through her blood making her lips spread into a big, dopey smile, and giggled, “yeah, you’re here.”
she could have sworn the tips of his ears turned pink, but the flashing, multicoloured lights made it too hard to make it out properly. it took her far too long to realize that toji still hadn’t let go of her arms, even as her punch had spilled on them both, and as even more people stared and bumped into them.
“you want a drink?” she shouted, standing up on her tiptoes to reach his ear.
toji grimaced. “no thanks, i don’t drink.”
“oh yeah, you’re a proper athlete and all,” she hiccuped, her body flushing with heat and the sound of the music.
he only laughed at that, his emerald eyes twinkling with possibilities.
| Φ |
“be careful,” toji hissed as he quickly moved to steady her as she tripped over the doorway into her dorm. “jesus, you’re a mess.”
“i-hiccup! no, no i’m a ss-shtar,” she wallowed, chuckling madly at her own antics. “ssstar! star.”
“yes, yes, a star, definitely,” toji mumbled, closing the door behind them, and maneuvering her securely along with him.
“hehe, am i youuuur star, toji?” she giggled, her legs giving out from underneath her, suddenly turning into jelly.
he snorted, using her strength to lift her off the floor and into his arms. “yes, you are. now c’mon, let’s get you to bed.”
her head rolled against his chest, her head swimming in a pool of red stars and blue moons, all of them circulating around a green sun. “go onnn, you have to say i’m yo-hiccup-ur star!”
“you’re my star. now c’mon, get into bed.”
as soon as he laid her underneath her duvet, her head started to pound and swirl the moment she closed her eyes. her stomach lurched like she was actually free-falling, and she groaned loudly. toji kneeled down in front of her, his face oh so very close to hers.
“what’s wrong? you wanna get sick?” he asked, forest eyes deep and ethereal as they took in her probably smeared makeup.
“i close my eyes and it feels bad,” she mumbled, feeling childish as her silliness became too much for even her not-so-sober state to listen to.
toji settled into a more comfortable sitting position, and she could feel his breath caressing her face. “tell me about something then, don’t think about it.”
“like-hiccup what?”
“anything. talk to me about stars, or whatever.”
“stars, really? okay… did you know, that there’s -hic- all different colors?”
“no, i didn’t actually. why’s there so many?”
“cuz they’re all different temperatures, that’s why.”
“that’s really cool. tell me about all the colors.”
“ohh, well there’s blue stars, those're the hottest one. and then there’s…”
| Φ |
she woke up to a throbbing headache and a burning stomach.
her eyes ached as light filtered through the opaque grey curtains of the window, and the white wall beside her bed was the first thing she saw when she finally peeked her eyes open. it was dreadfully plain and uninteresting, but rolling over to the other side to avoid it was another sort of unnecessarily difficult task.
she almost threw up when she saw toji lying there on the floor.
“toji?” she whispered urgently. “toji?! are you awake?”
he grunted in annoyance and rolled over to face her, his midnight hair all messy on a pillow he had procured from who knows where, although there was no blanket to be seen. the scarred side of his lip twitching as he flitted somewhere in between the realm of dreams and sleep.
oh how her heart was absolutely swooning at the sight.
she smiled to herself, quietly watching him sleep and quickly forgetting about how ill she felt, because none of that mattered. only that she could hear the scratching of quills, ruffling feathers, and the soft music playing, telling her that this was it.
she was in love with toji fushiguro.
there was no other way around it.
no more denying it to herself or anyone else – she loved him.
the boy who slept on a rock-hard floor beside her all night, listening to her drunk and probably terrible explanations about stars and who knows what else.
green orbs peeked out from hooded lids, and toji mumbled, “what’re you lookin at?”
she bit her lip, trying to contain her giddiness at her own sudden revelation, and reached over to poke his hand. “you. why didn’t you sleep on the sofa?”
toji's eyes fully opened, and he grabbed her finger and tugged gently. “cause, what if you needed to get sick and tripped in the dark? you might be a star, but you don’t actually shine, you know?”
“hah, you’re hilarious,” she retorted, letting him waggle her finger with his hand. “what else did i say, then?”
“that i’m the nicest person on earth for staying with you, and that i deserve free green tea from now on.”
“chancer, i definitely didn’t.”
“but how do you know you definitely didn’t?”
a loud knock at her door jolted them both out of their banter, and her roommate belted from the other side, “oi, lovebirds! we’re all going to get breakfast, want to come with?”
she looked expectantly at toji, who shrugged and mouthed ‘sure’, and answered back, “yeah, be out in a sec!”
“lovebirds, huh?” toji mumbled, as he intertwined their fingers, the corner of his lip curling upwards.
oh, angels in heaven above…
“shut up.”
| Φ |
the month of june was of blue skies and scorching pavements.
of far too many melted vanilla and matcha ice-creams dripping onto their clothes. of heat mirages and the cool, sweet relief of air-conditioned cafes and shopping malls. of lying on dried-out, yellowed grass at night, their sweaty hands firmly holding each other, while looking up at the midnight sky and divulging all their deepest secrets.
it was when she learned how toji got the scar on his lip.
he was twiddling with the hem of her baby pink t-shirt, not quite looking at her. “my cousins used to bully me when i was a kid,” he admitted quietly.
her gaze snapped over to him, soul aching for him. “toji, that’s awful.”
birds twittered loudly in a nearby tree.
then, it was quiet for a while.
she didn’t know what to say really, except, “did you tell anyone?”
toji shook his head, trailing a finger up and down her bare arm. “my parents kinda dismissed it like it wasn’t happening. i think they didn’t want to stir things within the family, even when the fuckers took it too far one day and caused this."
he paused, took a shaky breath, and with a voice tinged with bitterness he continued, “they held me down and threatened me with razor blades, and one of 'em accidentally slipped.”
“i’m so sorry,” she whispered, not knowing quite else to say, and rolled over onto her side to face him.
“it’s alright, i’m over it,” toji mumbled, returning to lying on his back, his arm behind his head. “but it’s why i've been studying so hard, so i can get the hell out of here. my family lives quite close by, you see.”
“right, and tokyo is about as far away as you can get.”
“yeah, pretty much.”
“and that’s why you didn’t speak to anyone at uni. you knew you'd just be moving on anyways, so there was no point making friends."
“mhm.”
she chewed the inside of her cheek. “so, what made me different?”
toji turned his head to face her, his gaze holding a gentleness she'd never seen before, “because… you’re you,” he said, as if that alone would explain everything.
she looked away, staring up at the sky again. it was silent for some time before she finally asked, “have i ever explained what quantum entanglement is to you before?”
“don’t think so, but go on.”
“it’s when two particles are so deeply connected, that it doesn’t matter even if they’re separated. the connection will always be there, and they’ll always affect each other. the distance between them doesn't matter either, because they still belong to each other.”
toji was quiet for a long time.
she wondered if he understood the deeper meaning behind what she was actually trying to say. she had never explicitly said to him that she loved him, and perhaps this was the only way she could say it - in the only way she knew how to. it was too late to turn back now anyway.
suddenly, toji pushed his upper body off the ground and sat upwards, his back turned to her.
he was breathing fast, too fast, and her heart started to beat frantically.
“toji?” she called out, fear lacing her words, her heart breaking in two at the mere thought of him rejecting all of this this – rejecting her.
toji turned to her, and whispered with glossy eyes, his words almost barely audible, “it’s you. it’s you. it’s you, and i love you.”
with that, he practically fell on top of her, their lips finally meeting in what seemed like an inevitable occurrence. like an eclipse or the death of a star, but none of that mattered. because here she was, with toji fushiguro.
and he loved her.
he loved her, as her lips parted for him and their tongues swirled together, and she thought he tasted of vanilla.
she loved him, as he tenderly held the back of her head, and she melted into him like the ice creams they savoured every day.
they loved each other, as their hands dipped underneath their shirts, exploring the dips and valleys of each other's bodies.
the universe was never more perfect than in that very moment.
| Φ |
the very next week, they went on their first official date.
“i’ll swing by your place at eight o’clock, is that okay?” toji asked her over the phone, as she lazed about in her bed in a dream-like, rosy trance.
she hummed, rolling onto her back and kicking her legs in the air. “sure. what are we doing?”
“never you mind your brilliant little head about it. just be ready, okay?”
“hehe, okay.”
“okay, i’ll see you later… i love you.”
“i love you too.”
with that, he ended the call, and she was left counting down the hours until she would see him. she got ready in good time, being careful to shave every bit of hair on her body, being meticulous as she plucked her brows perfectly. she hadn’t thought of sex since her subpar experience with it during her first year, and had since locked it out of her mind. not that she even thought they would be doing something like that.
at least, not until she had spied a box of condoms under the bathroom sink cabinet.
and now, it was all she could think about.
just after eight p.m., there was a prompt knock on the door, and she breathed out shakily before opening it. and there was her boy, her toji, holding a bouquet of half a dozen red roses, with a blush gracing his cheeks nearly as colorful as the blooms in his hands.
“hey,” he greeted with a handsome, crooked smile, his eyes sweeping up and down her figure. “you look beautiful. i hope you like italian food.”
and all her bundle of nerves dissipated. “yeah,” she replied breathlessly. “i do.”
toji took her to a small restaurant not too far from her dorm, roughly a fifteen-minute walk away. it was quirky, with cobblestone walls and a warm ambience, designed really for students with not much money in their pockets.
but it was just perfect.
it was natural, the way it was always meant to be. with her sitting there in a dainty summer dress, and toji in his usual black t-shirt and jeans, who was looking at her like she was his whole universe.
after they were done with their meal, he’d shooed her away from even trying to pay for the bill, which he took care of in battered notes and loose change. then, they walked hand in hand in the warm summer breeze back to her dorm. she prattled on excitedly about how she was looking for internships at various firms in tokyo, and toji was smiling as he listened to her finally start to figure out the answers to her future equation.
though, maybe not just her future.
they finally entered the safe space of her dorm, her roommates absence filling it with a sad eeriness. she looked at him shyly, fiddling with her fingers behind her back, and asked, “you want some tea?”
toji hummed, taking his shoes off at the door. “sure, thanks.”
she was grateful he said yes, it gave her something to do with her shaky hands. she reached upwards to the cabinet to grab their mugs. the two twin beige, somewhat grey, mugs that always sat beside each other. they clinked loudly against the counter, and she flicked the kettle switch on.
and then, toji’s warm hands were on her hips, and her mind went blank.
“i love you,” he mumbled, his lips soft and wet as they trailed against the curve of her neck. “you’re my star, and i love you.”
he was repeating ‘i love you’ like a mantra he couldn’t quite believe was true, and even a part of her was still amazed that it actually was. she turned to face him, tea well and truly forgotten about, and wrapped her arms around his neck to place her lips between his. toji hummed gently into her mouth, his hands sliding down to grip her behind, pulling her closer into him.
it was a nebula explosion after that.
a stumbling mess of them making their way to her bedroom with their lips interlocked, bodies pressed close together as they ripped their clothes off each other. giggling like naughty children when she struggled to tug her dress off.
“you’re hopeless,” toji groaned playfully, tapping her nose with his finger, before smoothly sliding her dress from her body.
she pouted, crossing her arms over her bare chest. “am not.”
he shushed her softly, pulling her into him once more in a fiery kiss, and they fell gently onto the bed. toji kneaded her breasts, eliciting a moan from her as his mouth traveled slowly from her lips, down to her neck and caressing her collarbone, flicking her hard nipple with his tongue.
“hmm, you feelin good, baby?” toji murmured, looking up at her with hooded lids, forest eyes blazing with desire reserved just for her. “not too much?”
"n-no," she stuttered, fisting his black locks between her fingers, scratching the back of his scalp and making him groan.
toji parted his lips, his breath blowing softly and tickling her nipple, and she shivered and slightly arched her back in anticipation. he teased her with his tongue, licking her hard bud with a featherlight touch, and she gasped, “toji, please.”
with that, he took her nipple in his mouth, steaming hot and so wet as his tongue swirled around it. she moaned loudly, arching herself into his body, and he placed a strong hand on the small of her back to pull her in.
she thought that if toji pulled her in any closer, they would surely melt into each other and become one.
her legs parted of their own accord, and her hips were pure instinct as she ground her slick pussy on his thigh, the ridges of the powerful muscle stimulating her perfectly and sending jolts of pleasure through her core. toji smiled against her nipple, giving it one last suck, letting it go with a dirty pop! and traveled back up to her face, his lips brushing hers.
“who knew,” he whispered, pressing soft kisses along the bridge of her nose. “that all this would happen from drinking green tea.”
she giggled, and held his face in her hands, bringing his lips back home to hers. “i need you, toji,” she breathed out, breaking their kiss. “can i have you?”
toji smiled, touched his forehead to hers and murmured, “you can always have me, sweetheart. tell me what you want.”
“i want you,” she begged, her arousal making her more mindlessly desperate by the second. “i’m yours, toji. make me yours.”
he snapped.
his lips captured hers once more in a searing kiss so molten hot, she was sure she would burn and be consumed by his fire. toji’s hands moved down to himself, freeing his hard cock from his boxers with a little slap noise as it hit against her lower stomach. he pressed his hips into her and settled in between her legs, his hard and flushed dick feeling a thousand times hotter against her skin than his lips did.
toji moved his hips, his cock wetting against her folds, the slick sounds lewd and utterly intoxicating, as he pushed further into her with every back and forth motion.
further.
and further.
she moaned loudly as he finally sunk deep into her wet walls, painfully slow and deliciously agonising.
“oh, fuck baby,” toji groaned, his face in her neck, as he buried himself to the hilt. “you’re -ah!- so fuckin beautiful. my beautiful girl.”
her nails dug into his shoulder, and toji bent her legs to fold them, rutting further into her. she whined at the deeper connection, feeling his cock flex inside her. he stilled with their chests pressed tightly together, and she could feel his heart pumping hard.
“t-toji,” she gasped, throwing her head back as she felt his balls against the curve of her ass.
the tip of his dick rubbing against that spongy spot that made her see stars behind her eyelids. he started shallowly thrusting, deliberately slow, holding her head so lovingly she felt she was going to burst.
this was heaven, she thought.
toji was heaven – her phi.
the golden ratio, found in all remarkable and beautiful things on the planet.
all her life, all the combinations of numbers, formulas, and sequences had to have been carefully calculated to lead up to him, to this moment.
toji sucked and kissed just below her ear, his muscled thighs flexing as he increased the pace just a fraction, and she clenched around him, feeling the veins of his cock rubbing exquisitely inside her. she tightly squeezed his bicep as the sounds of her squelching pussy and slapping of their bodies going plap! plap! plap! filled the room, and the smell of sex and toji wafted through her nose.
“look at us,” he cooed, stroking her cheek. “makin such a mess on your bed.”
she looked down to where their bodies met, and sure enough, there was a ring of white cream at the base of toji’s cock pumping in and out of her, dripping messily down onto a damp spot on the bedsheets beneath them. his toned abs had a thin sheen of sweat, and they flexed and rippled as he really started to pound into her.
her pussy clenched around him again at the thought of him chasing his pleasure high from her body, and she kissed him fervently. toji moaned into her mouth, his balls tightening more and more. her orgasm was exponentially building, like the pressure of boiling water molecules hitting against the walls of a sealed container.
“let go, baby” toji murmured huskily, his hips snapping at an even faster pace. “let go.”
and she did, throwing her head back and almost screaming, her legs shaking violently.
a supernova imploded somewhere at the other end of a distant universe. stars flew across the blackness behind her squeezed-shut eyelids, leaving behind a glittering trail of stardust. toji groaned into her neck, and she felt hot ropes of his cum spurt against her walls, his legs the only thing powering his body through his high.
she wrapped her arms around his neck as he stilled, half-hard cock still plugged inside her. they were huffing and panting into each other, their shared sweat making them stick to each other.
“i love you,” toji whispered, full of reverence, full of life.
she kissed him softly, rubbing their noses together. “i love you too.”
| Φ |
it was early july now; their exam results had been released, and graduations were finally right around the corner.
“you should go toji!” she exclaimed, cupping her mug of lukewarm tea with both hands, watching him intently from her spot on the sofa as he did some stretches. “you’ve worked so hard for this.”
he grunted, but from effort or annoyance, she couldn’t tell. “i can’t be bothered, seriously, and i’m not interested in standing on a stage and be the only person without parents cheering them on.”
she didn’t press it further after that.
instead, she cast one last longing look at his muscles rippling as he stretched, and resumed perusing through internship advertisements on her laptop.
they had settled into an oddly domestic routine for the past few weeks. she would work in the cafe during the day, while toji trained ever harder at the gym. he would swing by and pick her up as she finished her shift in the early hours of the afternoon, and they would cook dinner and hang around the dorm. the weather was getting far too hot for leisurely walks during the day, and so they had mostly passed the time by making love and talking about everything and anything at all.
toji kissed the top of her head, squatting behind her, quite clearly finished with his stretches as his eyes skimmed over the tab open on her laptop. “still nothin, baby?”
she sighed, rubbing his hand that was gently massaging her shoulders. “no.”
“you’ll find something, don’t worry. it’ll happen. let’s just focus on celebrating your graduation next week.”
her graduation.
she still couldn’t believe it.
next week, she would be graduating, and the week after that, saying goodbye to her accommodation – her home – for the last three years of her life. saying farewell to her manager and the little cafe that had been so good to her, and not just because it had brought her and toji together. the stress was mounting to find something, anything, in tokyo, because she refused to even entertain the idea of going backwards and returning home.
and because she absolutely could not bear to be so far away from toji either.
the thought alone was soul-crushing.
she heard the shower faucet running in the bathroom, and a wave of loneliness hit her. why exactly, she wasn’t sure, but she chased after toji into the bathroom.
he stared as she burst in, a thick brow raised in startled confusion, as soap suds trickled down his face and back. “what? you find somethin?”
clothes be damned, she stepped into the shower and kissed him with all the energy and emotion she could muster. toji was taken aback for a second, hesitatingly circling his arms around her, and then melting into her.
it was then that she decided.
she would rather her body combust, and all her atoms disperse into the atmosphere before even trying to live without toji fushiguro.
| Φ |
it was the night before her graduation, and she was a nervous wreck.
“oh, toji,” she gushed, dipping the razor she was holding into a bowl of soapy water and giving it a little shake. “i hate getting up in front of people. i might just not go. it doesn’t really matter anyway, does it?”
toji hummed, brows furrowed at her, but remained unable to respond unless he wanted to get soap in his mouth. she flicked away the excess water from the razor and carefully shaved underneath toji’s chin. he’d really let his stubble grow out, and since he was adamant about attending her graduation, it meant that the scruff would just have to go.
“nugh- y’re goin,” toji mumbled through pursed lips. “y’re too shmart t'not go.”
“and you’re too smart to have missed yours, but here we are,” she retorted, her tongue poking out from the side of her lip in concentration. “now stop talking, or you’ll get cut.”
toji grumbled and huffed from his nose, sending a soap sud flying onto her bare arm, and he snorted in amusement. she was sat on top of the kitchen counter next to the sink, with toji standing in between her legs, his hands kneading her plush thighs every so often. she was deep in thought, the only sound the gentle scratching of the blade, and started going through a mental checklist of everything she needed to prepare for tomorrow morning.
her light green kimono for the ceremony was already laid out on her roommate's old bed, zori shoes and tabi socks neatly placed beside it, but her hair pins and accessories still needed to be picked out. oh no, she hadn’t even decided on a-
“ow, fuck!”
she snapped out of her thoughts as toji hissed in pain, ruby-red pearls of blood already blooming from his lip.
oh no…
please god, no...
she’d cut his scar, reopening the top layer of delicate flesh.
“toji! fuck, i’m sorry,” she panicked, as he pulled away from her in a flash, his fingers pressing down on his lip. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to!
she slid off the counter, immediately trying to go over and help him, but toji practically growled, “don’t fucking touch me.”
her body froze, a cold shock of dread spreading from her head straight down to her stomach where it pooled uncomfortably. “toji?” she called out, her heart cracking and lip quivering. “it’s me. it’s only me.”
she’d never seen him like this before, backed up against the wall like an injured animal, his green eyes widened, breathing quickened, and nostrils flared, as if he was about to lash out at anything and everything. he held her worried gaze, but there was nothing except a cold emptiness behind him.
there was no trace of the boy she knew and loved.
“oh, toji. please,” she begged, fat droplets of tears running down the apples of her cheeks. "let me help you."
toji madly scrambled away, grabbing his shoes, and was out the door as if he’d never been there to begin with.
| Φ |
toji never came home that night.
she’d fallen asleep on the sofa, after calling him numerous times with no answer, waiting for him to walk back through the door until she couldn’t possibly keep her eyes open any longer. when she woke up groggily, her eyes still heavy from sleep and crying, she went about the arduous task of getting herself ready for graduation.
she hoped, no, prayed to the angels solving her equation to apply some sort of magic formula that would bring toji back to her. she had to believe he would show up to the ceremony; he just had to show. she didn’t even want to think about trying to calculate for the probability of him not showing up.
but the day went by in a hazy, slow blur of camera flashes, ostentatious flower bouquets, and toothy grins of parents and graduates. she played the part perfectly, a walking empty shell of a human, hugging and smiling with her loved ones. when her name was called to receive her diploma, nothing else mattered except trying to catch a glimpse of toji’s face in the audience.
but she couldn’t see him.
a foolish part of her hoped that he was standing right at the back of the auditorium, wearing that soft smile she loved so much whenever he looked at her.
that’s all it was though – foolish.
eventually, she returned back to her dorm in a numb daze, blinking slowly as her eyes swept over her soon-to-be-old home.
there was no trace of toji.
not his black sliders by the door.
not his toothbrush in the holder in the bathroom.
not his canvas bag or dirty gym clothes in the washing basket.
nothing at all.
she collapsed to the floor in a heap, her hands shakily procuring her phone from her clutch purse, and dialled toji’s number.
beep. beep. beep.
“sorry, but the number you have called does not exist. ple-”
she snapped her phone shut, and hoped that her angels could hear the gut-wrenching scream that clawed its way out of her throat and reverberated around the empty walls of the dorm.
| Φ |
the first law of thermodynamics states that energy can never be created or destroyed, only changing from one form to another.
that was all she think of as she curled into a fetal position on the cold, hard tiles of the apartment, teeth chattering as she repeated the law over and over again. the very marrow of her bones felt frozen solid, her fingernails harshly kissing crescent moons into her palm so hard that was she sure she must have bled by now.
but she didn’t care.
her heart was tearing itself apart, a war of raw muscle and heartstrings against the merciless, cruel force of love clashing inside of her chest.
her energy, what was it?
was it love?
for the numbers and greek letters she puzzled over for hours on end, contemplating all of the universe's workings and mysteries. or was it for toji fushiguro? for the dark-haired boy who had taught to her love something else other than her calculations and green tea. to love life and all the little joys that came along with it, and that she was worth infinitely more than what she thought of herself.
if her energy was love, then what would it change into?
hate, rage?
both?
maybe the angels could mercifully apply the catastrophic formula of death, and prove her life's equation to be null and false. her body would dissolve back into dust and atoms that would find their way back to toji, hovering tantalisingly closely to him, but never to touch him again. would his body know hers, even if he could never hope to see her? would he sense her and smile, as he remembered the quiet, young love they once shared?
she liked to imagine that he would smile.
her teeth clattered loudly, and her arms disappeared into the sleeves of her kimono.
how strange, the music is louder than its ever been.
scratching of quills.
a splash of ink and a teardrop.
and the scroll was flipped over to a blank side.
| Φ |
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theladysunami · 2 years ago
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I listen to a lot of audiobook murder mysteries, which has me thinking:
Shen Yuan transmigrating into a murder mystery… as the killer!
There are a couple of ways the story could go.
First Option: Shen Yuan lets his System know, in no uncertain terms, he will not be murdering anyone.
Its response: [Alternate Plotline Initiated. New Assignment: Designated Red Herring].
Poor Shen Qingqiu finds himself stuck in a whole murder mystery series, and any time anyone is murdered, he somehow ends up being the number one suspect!
The victim? Probably picked a fight with Shen Qingqiu at some point. (Shen Qingqiu tries to avoid such arguments, but it never seems to work!)
The murder weapon? Yeah, Shen Qingqiu is almost guaranteed to have touched it. (Shen Qingqiu is severely tempted to start wearing gloves 24/7.)
The body? Either Shen Qingqiu finds it himself at some inopportune time, and/or it was stashed somewhere “only” he is supposed to have access to. (At some point it's just: Shen Qingqiu opens a door… sees a body… closes the door. “Time to call the cops, yet again.”)
Shen Qingqiu ends up a tad paranoid about the whole thing, setting up cameras outside his house, in his office, in his car, etc. just to (hopefully) stop people from planting evidence any of those places.
If anyone asks about the truly absurd number of (eventually dropped) murder allegations, Shen Qingqiu insists he's cursed. Even with genre blinders on (making the number of convoluted murders in the area seem normal somehow), it's hard for anyone to argue the point.
For Shen Qingqiu's day job (when he's not busy being charged with murder) he works as a professor at a university with a highly regarded Criminology & Criminal Justice program. I'm thinking the original goods was a literature professor, with a strong distaste for cops, who was known for grading anyone in the criminal justice program exceedingly harshly. Naturally one of his students is the protagonist, Luo Binghe.
After his transmigration, professor Shen Qingqiu suddenly becomes a very kind and doting professor with a real passion for literature. This leaves Luo Binghe quickly smitten and makes him a very motivated amateur detective, since he's determined to prove his beloved's innocence as quickly as possible and as often as needed!
Second Option: Shen Yuan takes over after the original goods already committed the murder.
He wakes up with a splitting headache (the victim attempted to defend themselves presumably), looks at his bloody hands… looks at the victim… looks at the weapon… looks at his bloody hands again. “Damn it, Airplane.”
He decides he doesn't want to try and hide a body actually, just to be caught by the protagonist later and charged with a whole slew of things in addition to murder, so he calls the cops himself. He might as well take advantage of the fact he has a concussion and literally doesn't remember a thing. Maybe he can get the charges reduced somewhat and get a lighter sentence.
Of course the first cop that arrives at the scene is Yue Qingyuan, who as the #1 Xiao-Jiu stan gives Shen Qingqiu way too much benefit of the doubt. The most obvious evidence also keeps being erased or damaged by weird as hell coincidences.
Shen Qingqiu knows he certainly isn't responsible for damaging evidence and wonders if the System is working overtime behind the scenes to ensure there actually is a mystery for Luo Binghe to solve. (After all, it wouldn't be much of a story if Shen Qingqiu was already charged and sentenced before Luo Binghe had a chance to even do anything.)
To his complete bewilderment, after a few days leave to recover from the concussion, Shen Qingqiu is actually allowed to return to his university teaching job. He decides to make the best of it, since who knows how long he'll be a free man.
As in the first scenario, a few months later and Luo Binghe is absolutely smitten, not to mention all the other students and faculty that have come to adore him.
As Shen Qingqiu has successfully endeared himself to pretty much anyone and everyone local that could actually charge him or provide eyewitness testimony, not to mention all the shady shit about murder victim Qiu Jianluo the ongoing investigation keeps digging up, the plot stalls for a bit until the state police (aka Huan Hua Palace) are finally called in by Qiu Haitang.
Unfortunately for the ‘HHP’ folks, the protagonist himself is on Shen Qingqiu's side, and Luo Binghe is perfectly happy to muddy the waters by conveniently “losing” evidence, sending them after every single red herring he comes across, and “accidentally” digging up dirt on all the shady dealings going on in their department.
The System keeps trying to motivate Shen Qingqiu to hide evidence, lie, or do literally anything suspicious to progress the plot further, but all its punishment protocols involve sabotaging Shen Qingqiu's coverup attempts (of which he has none) or revealing information to the protagonist (who is complicit by this point) so it's fresh out of luck.
Eventually the System gives up and Shen Qingqiu is congratulated for “getting away with murder!” despite the fact he didn't actually do anything.
“Seriously? Does it even count as getting away with murder when the original goods was the actual murderer? I didn't kill anyone!”
[...]
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luna-azzurra · 2 months ago
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Emotionally Questionable but Artistically Valid Things To Do When You’re a Writer Losing the Plot (Literally or Figuratively)
Write your WIP’s obituary. “She lived a chaotic life, filled with plot holes, unresolved arcs, and one very confusing love triangle. She is survived by a Google Doc, 74 sticky notes, and a Pinterest board titled ‘vibes but make it pain.’” Bonus catharsis if you make it weirdly tender. Double bonus if you actually cry a little.
Make your WIP a dating profile. Age: Timeless. Location: Trapped in your brain since 2018. Looking for: A writer who won’t ghost me mid-draft. Interests: Slow burn tension, morally gray decisions, and long walks through traumatic backstory. Will it match with anyone? No. But you might remember why you fell in love with it in the first place.
Assign your plot holes a Hogwarts house. That one you keep ignoring? Slytherin. The subplot that’s doing too much? Hufflepuff with main character energy. The gaping logic error you swear you’ll fix later? Ravenclaw, but drunk. Somehow this helps. Somehow this feels like control.
Write a resignation letter from your genre. “Dear Fantasy, it’s not you, it’s me. Actually—it is you. The worldbuilding demands are emotionally abusive, and I just want to write messy little humans having conversations that ruin their lives.” You can always go back. Or not. You’re allowed to genre-hop like a chaotic frog with a laptop.
Host a fake podcast episode where you psychoanalyze your protagonist. Today on Therapy, But Make It Fictional, we discuss why Aiden cannot maintain a single healthy relationship, the consequences of childhood abandonment, and how trauma is not a personality trait (even though he tries). Record yourself. Don’t post it. Unless you do. I won’t stop you.
Put your WIP characters in a reality show. Big Brother: Emotional Damage Edition. Who cries first? Who forms a secret alliance? Who self-destructs on Day 2 because someone used their emotional trauma as a joke? (Yes, this is basically writing. Yes, this counts.)
Create an “Am I the Problem?” chart for your WIP. Spoiler: You’re not. The plot arc from hell is. But mapping it out like a true crime board will help. Use yarn. Use vibes. Use Google Slides if you’re a Virgo. Just externalize the chaos.
Write fanfiction… of your own book. That spicy scene you know you won’t put in because it messes with pacing? Write it. That “what if they shared a bed but didn’t touch” trope you secretly crave? Give in. You are your first fan. Be delulu. Be free.
Create a soundtrack for your villain’s redemption arc that will never happen. Include Lana Del Rey. Include Mitski. Include at least one angry violin solo. You don’t have to redeem them, but you can imagine them staring into the rain while “The Sound of Silence” plays.
Doodle your plot like a crime scene. Victim: Narrative Cohesion. Suspects: A surprise third act twist, a talking sword, and that one flashback chapter that broke the timeline. Go full corkboard-and-pushpins energy. You’ll either solve it or at least feel like an unhinged genius. Which is basically the same.
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ghostlynightpanda · 2 months ago
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Could you write something for Ranpo Edogawa x ADA member, where reader gets threateningly letters from a stalker and maybe the stalker kills someone at one point because that person got too close to reader? And the other ADA members protect reader, but especially Ranpo?
Closer Than You Think
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English is not my first language, so if you find mistakes, feel free to contact me!
synopsis: After receiving a series of threatening letters from a stalker, you find yourself under the Agency's watchful protection — but it's Ranpo Edogawa who notices your hidden fear the most. As the danger escalates, Ranpo's fierce determination to keep you safe reveals feelings between you that neither of you can ignore.
content/warnings: Ranpo Edogawa x reader, angst and fluff, stalking, -5.605 words
The morning light spilled across the Armed Detective Agency office in warm, golden stripes, and for once, things were almost peaceful.
You leaned back in your chair, spinning a small letter opener between your fingers with practiced ease, while the faint, near-invisible threads of your ability danced around your desk. They coiled lightly around your coffee cup, your stack of case files, the clock on the wall — little anchors, subconscious habits you'd developed after years of wielding your power without thinking. Hidden strings, fine as spider silk and strong as steel, were an extension of yourself now.
Across the room, Atsushi was arguing — politely — with Kunikida about paperwork, Kenji was cheerfully building a precarious tower of staplers, and Dazai… well, Dazai was pretending to nap on the couch, no doubt scheming something.
Normal. Comfortable.
Until he spoke.
"You're slouching," came Ranpo's obnoxiously bright voice from behind you. "Terrible posture. Terrible detective instincts. Very amateur."
You didn't even turn around. "Good morning, Edogawa-san," you said dryly, emphasizing the formal address you knew he hated. "And thank you so much for your unsolicited opinion."
Ranpo strolled into view, lollipop between his teeth, grinning like he’d already solved a case you didn’t know existed.
"You know," he said, hopping up to sit cross-legged on the edge of your desk — ignoring your obvious scowl — "if you asked nicely, I could teach you a few things. Improve your skills. Help you out."
You twitched one finger; a single hidden thread snapped taut between your hand and the mug on your desk. It shot into the air — and thwacked Ranpo in the forehead with a satisfying thunk.
He yelped and nearly toppled off the desk.
Kenji giggled from across the room. Dazai opened one eye lazily, smirked, and closed it again.
"You're so violent," Ranpo muttered, rubbing his forehead, looking genuinely wounded. "No respect for your elders. For the greatest detective of our generation."
You leaned back in your chair and propped your boots up on a file cabinet. "Maybe if the 'greatest detective' would stop treating me like his personal audience, I'd be more civil."
Ranpo grinned wider. If anything, he seemed delighted by your irritation.
You sighed internally. This was your daily reality at the ADA.
You were respected, sure. They trusted you with the tough missions, the dangerous assignments. Your ability made you lethal in close combat, and your mind was sharp enough to navigate the darker corners of the criminal world they often worked in.
But Ranpo — Ranpo was a different kind of challenge.
He wasn’t cruel, or mean. Just... endlessly infuriating.
He never missed a chance to show off when you were around, tossing around impossible deductions and stealing your victories right out from under your nose. He wasn't content with your polite acknowledgment, either — no, he wanted you awed, like the others were.
And you? You weren't about to give him the satisfaction.
"Hey," Ranpo said suddenly, plucking another lollipop from his pocket and holding it out to you, his voice lighter. "You want one? It's grape. Your favorite, right?"
You blinked.
You'd never told him that.
Still, you shook your head. "I'll pass."
Ranpo shrugged, popping it into his own mouth with a wink. "Suit yourself. More genius fuel for me."
You fought the urge to smile — and fought harder against the strange flutter in your chest.
God, he wasso annoying.
And yet... somehow, your mornings felt incomplete without these ridiculous battles.
You didn't notice the envelope at first.
Morning slipped into afternoon in a familiar blur of case reports and coffee runs. A client dropped off a simple theft investigation; Atsushi and Junichiro ran off after a suspicious lead; Kenji accidentally knocked over a filing cabinet; Yosano was off shopping. 
The usual chaos.
It wasn't until you returned from the break room — coffee in one hand, a fresh stack of papers in the other — that you saw it.
Sitting there. Right in the center of your desk. A white envelope. Stark. Ordinary. Except for the dark red smudge staining the corner.
Your steps faltered.
The chatter around the office continued unabated — Dazai teasing Kunikida about his strict schedules, Kenji laughing about something you couldn't quite hear — but for you, everything seemed to narrow in on that single, misplaced object.
Blood.
You set your coffee down slowly. The envelope wasn’t addressed. No name, no markings. Just the sticky, ugly stain seeping into the paper.
For a long second, you simply stared at it.
Then, with a muttered curse under your breath, you plucked it off the desk, careful not to touch the blood. A few threads snaked out instinctively from your fingertips, ready to snap tight at the first hint of a trap — but nothing happened.
The envelope was heavy. Something inside it shifted slightly when you tilted it. 
You broke the seal, and a thin, folded letter slid out onto your desk.
Blocky, uneven handwriting sprawled across the page.
I see you. I see how they look at you. But you're mine. Talk to them again, and they’ll die for it. One by one. Starting with the boy who smiled at you yesterday.
Your mouth tightened.
The boy yesterday…
Your mind flashed back to a minor incident on the street — a civilian you'd saved two days ago. He'd recognized you yesterday when you passed by the coffee shop, waved at you brightly, thanked you again.
Harmless.
At the time.
A slow, cold crawl worked its way up your spine.
"Yo," Ranpo's voice chirped from somewhere to your left. "You reading love letters now?"
You hastily folded the letter in half, stuffing it back into the envelope.
"Nope," you said, too casually. "Just junk mail."
Ranpo tilted his head, eyeing you in that way he did when he was about to rattle off some uncomfortable truth. 
But for once, he stayed silent. Just frowned faintly around the edges of his candy.
You tossed the envelope into your bottom drawer without another glance and slammed it shut.
Out of sight. Out of mind.
You’d dealt with worse threats before. Some creep trying to scare you with anonymous notes wasn’t worth losing sleep over.
Besides — you had a mission report to finish, groceries to buy, and Kenji to stop from stacking three more chairs on top of the filing cabinet.
Life moved on.
You made sure it did.
Later that night, when the Agency closed and the others headed out into the neon-lit streets, Ranpo lingered behind.
He perched casually on the arm of the couch, watching you pack your things with a thoughtful expression.
"You're acting weird," he said, not bothering to hide the statement behind a joke this time.
You shrugged, pulling your bag onto your shoulder. "Maybe I'm just sick of your voice."
Ranpo smirked, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Yeah," he said slowly, lollipop stick flicking between his teeth. "Maybe."
You left without another word, weaving through the familiar streets toward home, telling yourself it was nothing. That you were fine. That the uneasiness sitting in your gut was just paranoia.
You didn't notice the shadow following you from a rooftop above. Or the flash of silver as something reflective caught the moonlight. Or the figure that melted into the alley behind you, silent as a whisper.
But someone did.
Someone who stepped out of the Agency a minute after you. Who narrowed sharp green eyes in the direction you'd walked. Who sucked thoughtfully on a piece of candy, then crumpled the wrapper between his fingers with slow, deliberate care.
Ranpo Edogawa wasn’t the type to worry.
But tonight?
Tonight, something told him he'd better start.
The next letter arrived two days later.
This time, it came with the regular morning post — buried between an electric bill and a new case file — and dropped unceremoniously onto your desk by the mail carrier.
You spotted it immediately.
Same plain white envelope. Same dark, sticky red mark. This time, it had your name scrawled across the front in that same jagged, uneven handwriting.
A chill licked up your spine despite yourself.
You snatched it up quickly before anyone else could see.
From across the room, Ranpo’s eyes flicked up from his candy stash — casual, almost bored — but you caught the glint of attention there. Watching.
You turned your body slightly away from him as you opened the letter, scanning it quickly.
They don't deserve you. They don't know what you are. But I do. You're perfect. You're mine. Talk to them again, and I'll make them bleed for you. I'll show you.
The skin at the back of your neck prickled. You folded the letter neatly and slipped it into your jacket.
No big deal.
It was just a scare tactic. Empty threats.
You'd dealt with actual assassins before. Professional killers. Supernatural freaks who could level city blocks. One obsessed lunatic scribbling notes wasn't going to throw you off balance.
Still, you were careful to erase your expression before turning back to the others.
Kunikida caught your movement out of the corner of his eye. "Something wrong?" he asked, setting down his pen.
You forced a shrug. "Just junk mail again. Wrong address, probably."
He frowned slightly — Kunikida’s natural state — but let it drop.
For now.
The third letter came the next morning.
Then the fourth.
Then the fifth.
Always the same: hidden among the regular mail, faint traces of blood smudging the paper, and darker words inside — promises of violence, obsession, possession.
You hid them all.
Not because you were scared — at least, that’s what you told yourself — but because the others already had enough to worry about.
You were strong. You could handle this. You had your strings, your skills, your instincts. You didn't need anyone babysitting you.
At least, that was the plan.
Until the morning Dazai caught you.
You were sitting at your desk, carefully unfolding the latest letter — red thumbprint pressed messily into the paper — when a shadow fell over you.
"What's that?" Dazai asked, peering over your shoulder.
You startled, quickly folding the letter again. "Nothing."
"That didn't look like nothing," he said, smiling lazily but with a glint of something sharper underneath.
Ranpo, from his seat near the window, lifted his head just slightly — subtle, but enough to let you know he'd heard, too.
"It's fine," you said quickly. "Probably just some prank. Nothing serious."
Atsushi, standing nearby with an armful of case files, frowned in concern. "Prank? Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," you said firmly.
Kenji popped up from behind a filing cabinet, bright-eyed as ever. "If someone's bothering you, we can all help! Right, Kunikida-san?"
Kunikida adjusted his glasses, eyeing you with an unreadable expression. "It's probably nothing," he said eventually, though his voice was tight. "But just in case... keep an eye out. Don't take unnecessary risks."
You gave them your best confident smile.
"I'm fine," you said again.
They didn’t look fully convinced.
Dazai tilted his head, watching you far too closely. "You know," he mused, tapping a finger against his chin, "it's usually the ones who say 'I'm fine' who are secretly the most not-fine."
You rolled your eyes, but Ranpo’s gaze stayed pinned to you even after the others drifted back to their work.
He didn't say anything.
Not yet.
But you could feel it — like the tension in the air before a storm. Like one of your hidden strings, stretched too tight across a battlefield.
Something was pulling.
And you had the creeping feeling you wouldn't be able to brush it off much longer.
Later that night, you walked home alone again, your bag slung over your shoulder, the letters weighing heavier than you wanted to admit.
You told yourself you were imagining it — the feeling of eyes on your back, the flicker of motion just out of sight.
Still, without thinking, you extended a thread behind you, connecting it to a lamppost. A second thread wrapped around a trash bin.
A third threaded quietly through the air, like a spider laying down warning lines.
Nothing triggered them.
No attackers.
No visible threats.
And yet…
A block behind you, pressed flat into the darkness of a storefront awning, a figure waited.
Watching.
Waiting.
And higher up, from a rooftop bathed in silver moonlight, another figure stood — silent, green eyes sharp, arms crossed.
Ranpo Edogawa's mouth twisted into a small, grim smile.
He didn't need his ability to know something was wrong.
He could see it plain as day:
You were lying. You were scared.
And someone — someone stupid enough to think they could hurt you — was about to find out exactly why the Armed Detective Agency was feared by enemies far and wide.
Especially when it came to one of their own.
The morning started like any other.
Light filtered in through the wide windows of the Agency, the dust motes dancing lazily in the beams. You sat at your desk, boots crossed at the ankles, pretending to skim through a report while your mind wandered elsewhere.
The others were moving around the office like usual.
Almost normal.
Almost.
Until the delivery came.
"Package for Y/N L/N!" the mail carrier called, cheerful and oblivious, setting a small, neatly wrapped box on your desk.
You frowned immediately.
You weren't expecting anything. No one had mentioned sending a package. No return address.
The others looked up too, curiosity piqued. Atsushi started to approach, Kenji peeking around the corner.
Ranpo, sitting nearby munching on a fresh pack of candies, narrowed his eyes sharply the moment he saw the box.
You hesitated.
Your instincts screamed.
A thin thread slithered invisibly from your fingertips, wrapping around the box, feeling for traps — pressure plates, explosives, the taut sensation of a wire rigged to blow.
Nothing.
Just a box. Heavy. Cold.
Slowly, carefully, you pulled the tape loose with your ability, keeping your body tense, ready to react.
The lid slid open.
The smell hit you first.
Heavy, coppery, wrong.
Atsushi recoiled. Kenji made a small, shocked noise.
Inside the box — resting on a bed of pristine white cloth — was a human heart. Still glistening wet.
Pinned to it with a bloodstained needle was a folded scrap of paper.
You stared.
Your mind felt blank for a moment — a buzzing silence flooding through you, loud and smothering — before the words on the paper burned themselves into your vision:
See? I told you I'd do it. No one touches what's mine. You smiled at him. He smiled back. He won't smile at anyone again.
The world tilted slightly.
Atsushi swore under his breath. Kenji backed away, pale. Even Kunikida dropped his pen, the sharp clatter echoing like a gunshot across the room.
Dazai pushed off the wall where he’d been lounging, face suddenly serious.
Ranpo stood up slowly, candy forgotten between his fingers, the rare weight of true anger settling into his frame.
"Y/N," Kunikida said tightly, striding over to you. "What the hell is going on?"
You swallowed hard, forcing air into your lungs. Your hands — steady from years of combat — shook slightly as you pulled open the bottom drawer of your desk.
One by one, you laid the letters out.
Five in total. All marked by blood. All increasingly unhinged.
A sick trail leading to this moment.
"I didn't think—" you started, voice rougher than you wanted. "I thought it was just... someone messing around. A prank. I didn't want to bother anyone."
"Bother—?" Kunikida’s voice cracked with fury. He jabbed a finger at the gruesome package. "This is not a prank, Y/N. This is a threat. A clear, violent threat against you and anyone around you!"
Kenji looked like he might be sick.
Atsushi hovered near you like he wasn't sure whether to shield you or tackle you into protective custody.
Even Dazai, master of easygoing detachment, looked grim.
And Ranpo —
Ranpo was still.
Not the usual lounging, lazy stillness he wore like a second skin.
No, this was something coiled. Tense. Sharp.
His green eyes — usually full of lazy amusement — were hard and glinting like shattered glass.
"No more walking alone," Kunikida snapped, already pulling out his planner and phone at the same time. "Effective immediately, you're assigned an escort at all times. Grocery trips, coffee runs, everything. Someone will be with you."
You opened your mouth to argue, but the look on Kunikida’s face made you snap it shut again.
Dazai smiled faintly. "Don’t think of it as babysitting," he said. "Think of it as... enthusiastic friendship."
Kenji nodded vigorously. "We'll protect you, Y/N-san! No matter what!"
You exhaled shakily, pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes for a moment.
This wasn’t just annoying anymore. This was serious. Someone had killed — had murdered — a man because he smiled at you.
And you’d been so damn sure you could handle it yourself.
When you finally lifted your head again, Ranpo was right there.
Closer than before.
He didn't say anything — just reached out, almost awkwardly, and brushed a crumb off your jacket. His hand lingered for half a second longer than necessary, hovering near your shoulder, before he tucked it back into his pocket.
"You should’ve told me," he said quietly, voice stripped of his usual teasing tone.
You looked away.
"I didn’t think you’d care."
Ranpo let out a soft, breathless laugh — not mocking, not smug. Almost… wounded.
"You idiot," he said, shaking his head slowly. "I care more than you think."
The words were light. Easy to miss. Like he was offering you an escape hatch if you wanted it — the ability to pretend he was joking, if it hurt too much to believe otherwise.
But when you dared to glance back at him, his expression was deadly serious.
You didn't know what to say.
Luckily, you didn’t have to.
Because at that exact moment, Kunikida barked an order: "Everyone. Meeting. Now."
The Agency pulled together fast — Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Kenji, Junichiro and Yosano forming a protective wall around you as they strategized.
Plans. Schedules. Rotating escorts.
And at the heart of it all, Ranpo standing just a little closer than necessary, sharp eyes never leaving you.
Watching. Guarding. Waiting.
Because if this stalker thought they could terrify you, isolate you, break you —
They clearly hadn’t counted on the full weight of the Armed Detective Agency crashing down on them.
And they definitely hadn’t counted on Ranpo Edogawa’s anger.
The Agency transformed overnight.
Where once your days had been filled with quiet missions and easy camaraderie, now every breath you took felt like it was being monitored.
Not in a cruel way. Not because they didn't trust you.
Because they cared.
And that — somehow — made it worse.
You couldn’t go anywhere alone.
Not even to the damn vending machine downstairs.
Kunikida accompanied you on coffee runs, armed with a notebook and a gun hidden in his jacket.
Dazai draped himself dramatically over your desk whenever you stood up, whining that it was too dangerous for you to even fetch your own documents.
Kenji insisted on carrying your groceries, proudly swinging your shopping bags over his shoulder like war trophies.
Junichiro trailed behind you during evening walks, his steps too quiet, his hand twitching toward his hidden blade whenever someone so much as looked at you wrong.
Atsushi hovered like an anxious guard dog, jumping at shadows and offering to "help" with anything that involved you leaving your chair.
It would’ve been almost funny — if it wasn’t so exhausting.
The final blow came when Yosano showed up at your doorstep that night, suitcase in hand, smirking like she was doing you a massive favor.
"I’m moving in temporarily," she announced without preamble, brushing past you into your apartment. "Doctor’s orders."
"Whose doctor’s orders?" you grumbled, glaring at her.
"Mine," she said sweetly. "And Kunikida's. And Fukuzawa’s."
You blinked.
"Wait, Fukuzawa agreed to this?"
Yosano dropped her bag with a heavy thud. "He insisted."
You sat there for a long moment, slumped against the doorframe, feeling like the last tiny threads of normalcy in your life had finally snapped.
When you'd first joined the Armed Detective Agency, you'd marveled at how fiercely they protected their own. How stubbornly they fought for the people they cared about.
You just never thought you'd be on the receiving end of it.
It was... overwhelming. And kind of beautiful. And absolutely driving you insane.
The next morning, Fukuzawa himself called you into his office.
He didn't waste time with pleasantries.
"You are one of us," he said simply, his quiet voice carrying more weight than a shout. "The Agency protects its own. Until this threat is eliminated, you will accept the help offered to you. No arguments."
You opened your mouth to argue anyway — a reflex — but Fukuzawa’s sharp look pinned you in place.
He set a hand gently on your shoulder.
"We will find whoever is behind this," he said. "I promise you."
The simple certainty in his voice — no grand speeches, no hollow comforts — made something in your chest tighten painfully.
You nodded, unable to find words.
And through it all —
Ranpo watched.
Always a few steps away. Always half-distracted by candy or a case file. Always pretending to be bored out of his mind.
But never far.
He never said anything about the way you flinched sometimes when the mail came. Or the way you checked the windows twice before leaving the Agency. Or how your hand sometimes twitched toward your hidden strings when a stranger got too close.
He just... stayed.
Silent. Constant. A shadow you could rely on even when you didn’t want to admit you needed anyone.
You didn't realize until much later — when the weight of everything almost crushed you — how much that silent support mattered.
One night, a few days into the full-blown protection campaign, you found yourself sitting on your tiny apartment balcony, knees pulled up to your chest.
Yosano was inside, noisily rearranging your kitchen for some reason only she understood.
The city lights blurred into smudges in the night air.
You heard the balcony door creak softly, but you didn’t turn.
You already knew who it was.
Ranpo.
He sat down next to you without a word, his jacket brushing yours lightly.
For a long while, the two of you just sat there.
The night was cold, but you didn’t feel it.
"You hate it," he said eventually, voice soft and wry.
"Hate what?"
"This," he gestured vaguely at the Agency’s newfound babysitting project. "Everyone fussing over you. Smothering you."
You shrugged, resting your chin on your knees. "It’s not... bad. I know why they’re doing it. I just... I don’t want them to see me like this. Like I’m weak."
Ranpo was quiet for a moment.
Then he said, very quietly: "You’re the strongest one here, you know."
You snorted. "Yeah, right."
"I’m serious," Ranpo said, almost sharply. "You kept it together. You didn’t break. Even when you should’ve. Even when anyone else would have."
You turned your head slightly, surprised by the intensity in his voice.
Ranpo wasn’t looking at you.
He was looking out over the city, jaw clenched, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets. "But you’re not invincible," he added, softer now. "You shouldn’t have to be."
The words settled between you like fresh snowfall — quiet, heavy, undeniable.
You swallowed hard, throat tight. "...Thanks," you muttered finally.
Ranpo just shrugged.
"No big deal," he said — but his shoulders relaxed slightly, like you’d lifted some unseen weight off them too.
Neither of you said anything else after that.
You just sat there — two silent shadows against the growing darkness — watching the city lights blink like distant stars.
Waiting for the storm that was coming.
Waiting for the moment when the hidden enemy would finally make their move.
And when they did...
They would find out the hard way: You were never alone. Not anymore.
The letters had gotten worse.
Sharper. Hateful.
They shifted from desperate admiration to barely-contained rage.
The last one — delivered just two days ago — was almost a scrawl, ink smeared and heavy, words pressed so hard into the paper they tore through:
They're always around you. They won't let you breathe. I see it. I hate it. But don't worry. I'll fix it. I'll get you all to myself soon.
You hadn’t shown the others that one.
You didn’t have to.
Ranpo had looked at you that afternoon — really looked at you — and his mouth had tightened into a thin, grim line. You knew he understood. Even without words.
That night was the first time you were alone.
Yosano had been called away for an urgent assignment — a mission outside the city that needed her healing ability immediately.
She'd been furious about it, but Fukuzawa had assured her — and you — that the Agency would keep an extra eye on you tonight.
Still, you felt exposed.
The apartment was too quiet without Yosano’s sarcastic commentary echoing from the kitchen.
You locked every door. Checked every window. Threaded your invisible strings along every entrance like razor-thin tripwires.
Just in case.
And then you tried to sleep.
You woke to the sound of glass shattering.
Your body moved on instinct — rolling out of bed, crouching low, pulling a blade from under the mattress.
The darkness was thick and heavy, but you caught the shift of a shadow moving in your living room.
Too fast. Too bold.
Whoever it was — they knew the layout.
They weren't afraid.
You reached out with your ability, invisible threads spinning into the air, connecting silently to the floor, the doorframe, the walls. Anchoring yourself.
Waiting.
Listening.
The floor creaked again — and this time you heard it:
The rough, excited breathing. The low murmur of your name.
"Y/N..." the voice rasped. "So beautiful... so much better without them around…"
Your heart hammered against your ribs.
The stalker.
He was here.
He thought he had you.
You slipped silently to the door of your bedroom, strings already attaching themselves to the nearest heavy object — a chair — and the knife at your hip.
You could fight.
You would fight.
You waited for him to step into the doorway — the faint silhouette of a man, knife glinting faintly in the dark.
He was mumbling under his breath, eyes wide and crazed, swinging a blade loosely at his side.
You tightened the strings between your fingers — ready to launch the chair at him, disarm him, end this —
But you didn't get the chance.
Because before you could move, the front door exploded inward.
Two figures surged through the door:
Dazai, with a disturbingly cheerful smile, and Kunikida, already barking orders like a sergeant.
"You’re under arrest," Kunikida snapped, gun drawn and steady. "Put the weapon down!"
The stalker whirled, shocked and wild-eyed — but he didn’t drop the knife.
Instead, he lunged forward, straight for the broken window.
Trying to escape.
You moved to intercept him — your strings lashing out like a whip — but once again, someone beat you to it.
Ranpo.
He was already inside, moving faster than you'd ever seen him move, his expression stripped of its usual lazy amusement.
There was nothing playful in his face now — only cold, sharp focus.
In a single, almost casual movement, he tripped the stalker — sweeping his legs out from under him — and slammed him face-first into the floor with a vicious crack of impact.
The knife clattered out of the man's hand, spinning harmlessly across the floor.
Blood smeared against your hardwood floorboards.
The stalker howled — but it was a pitiful, broken sound.
Ranpo stood over him, breathing hard, his foot pressing firmly into the small of the man’s back.
"You thought you could hurt her," Ranpo said, his voice terrifyingly soft. "You thought we wouldn’t see this coming.“ He leaned down, green eyes gleaming with cold fury. "You’re dumber than I thought."
The stalker whimpered something unintelligible — and then Dazai was there, expertly cuffing him with casual efficiency, whistling under his breath.
"Honestly," Dazai said lightly, "if you're going to stalk someone from the Armed Detective Agency, at least try to be good at it."
Kunikida was already on his phone, calling it in.
You sank back against the wall, heart pounding.
The adrenaline was burning through you, leaving you shaky and cold.
Ranpo straightened and turned to you.
For a long moment, he just looked at you — really looked — like he was checking for injuries, counting every breath you took.
Then he stepped closer.
And without asking, without warning —
He wrapped his arms around you.
Not tight. Not possessive. Just there — a solid, steady weight anchoring you back to earth.
"You’re okay," he said quietly into your hair. "You’re safe."
You didn’t realize you were shaking until he said it.
You buried your face in his jacket for a second, letting yourself breathe him in — sugar, paper, the faint crispness of rain outside.
Alive. Safe. Protected.
By the time the police arrived, you were composed again — standing tall, weapon still in hand, as they dragged the stalker away.
But Ranpo never left your side.
Not for a second.
And when the others finally relaxed, giving you soft smiles and congratulations, Ranpo caught your hand under the cover of his jacket — a small, secret squeeze.
"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered so only you could hear.
You squeezed back.
Neither were you.
The apartment was quiet again. But this time, it wasn't an oppressive silence. It was peaceful.
The broken window had been boarded up temporarily, the glass swept away, the blood cleaned. Dazai, Kunikida, and the police had finally left after triple-checking every lock and securing the building.
Yosano had already called twice, furious she wasn’t here for the action.
You promised her you were fine. You didn’t know if she believed you, but you meant it.
For the first time in what felt like weeks — you were breathing easy again.
You stepped out onto the balcony, the cool night air brushing against your skin like a balm. The stars were dim under the city lights, but you didn’t care.
You leaned against the railing, closing your eyes, feeling the tension bleed out of your bones.
The door behind you creaked.
Ranpo’s presence was as familiar now as your own heartbeat.
He stepped outside, two lollipops dangling from his hand. Without a word, he offered you on, before he settled beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed.
Neither of you spoke for a long time.
You just… existed together, in the quiet. In the safety you had fought so hard to reclaim.
The lollipop tasted like cheap cherry flavoring.
Ranpo shifted, leaning his elbows on the railing, gazing out at the city.
"You did good, you know," he said after a while, his voice lighter than it had been all night. "Kept your head. Stayed smart. Didn't panic."
You smiled faintly around the candy. "I had good teachers," you said, nudging him gently with your elbow.
He grinned — that cocky, lopsided grin you usually wanted to smack off his face — but tonight it was softer.
Grateful.
But then his smile faded a little, eyes turning more serious.
He fiddled with the stick of his lollipop, twisting it between his fingers. "You know," he said, almost too casually, "it... it scared me. More than it should have."
You blinked, glancing at him.
Ranpo never admitted fear. Not even on the worst days.
"You?" you said lightly, trying to tease him out of whatever heavy mood was clouding him. "The great Ranpo Edogawa? Scared?"
He didn’t laugh. Instead, he tilted his head back, letting the city lights paint faint shadows across his sharp features.
"I’m not good with... people," he said quietly. "Not really. I don't notice when people are upset. I don't know what to say when someone’s hurting."
He paused, the lollipop stick stilling between his fingers.
"But when you…" He swallowed. "When you started getting those letters, when you started acting like everything was fine even though you were shaking inside —"
His hands curled into fists against the railing. "I noticed."
You stared at him, heart thudding.
Ranpo turned his head, meeting your gaze — and for once, there was no smirk, no clever mask, no teasing glint in his eyes. Only honesty.
"I noticed everything," he said softly. "Because it was you."
The breath caught in your throat.
Ranpo looked down, a little sheepish now, scuffing his shoe against the concrete.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is…" He huffed a frustrated sound, like the words didn’t fit right in his mouth. "... I care. More than I should. More than makes sense."
Your heart twisted painfully in your chest.
You reached out before you could stop yourself, fingers brushing against his hand resting on the railing.
He froze at the contact, wide green eyes flicking up to meet yours.
You smiled — small, real, a little shaky.
"It makes perfect sense," you whispered.
Ranpo let out a breath — a short, disbelieving laugh, like he hadn’t dared hope you'd say that.
Slowly, carefully, he turned his hand under yours, lacing your fingers together.
His palm was warm. Solid. Steadying.
You squeezed his hand, feeling the last of the fear, the anxiety, the isolation drain away.
You weren’t alone. You never had been.
And now — you never would be again.
The two of you sat there until the stars disappeared into the dawn light, hands entwined, silent and safe.
For the first time in a long time, you didn’t have to watch the shadows. You had someone who would do it for you.
Someone who would always notice — even when you tried to hide.
And somehow, that made all the difference.
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