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hd-wireless · 3 years

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🎶 HD Wireless 2021 Reveals! 🎶

TAKE A BOW, CREATORS!!

The day has finally come, and we can’t wait for everyone to see who created all the wonderful Wireless works that we had the privilege to present to you this year!!

Before we do that, the results of our Guessing Game! The winner, with 43 correct guesses (which gave her 260 points - please don’t question our scoring system) was @sweet-s0rr0w!! Kudos to your super-sleuthing and powers of recognition!!

All the wonderful authors, artists and podficcers who took part this year can be found below the cut. As the mods, we want to extend our thanks to every single talented one of them. Please show them all your love and appreciation!!

🎶 H/D Wireless Animatic and Fic 🎶

📻 rather a lover than a fighter [T, 15k] ✒️ Author and Artist: @parkkate & aceveria / @aceveria-art

🎵 Summary: When Harry loses his voice and his magic, it’s up to Healer Draco to save the day.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶

📻 The Road to Somewhere [T] 🖌️ Artist: @rainsoakedhello 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: In the end, all roads lead home.

📻 Don't care what they say (I would be stupid to be not on it) [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: @digthewriter 🎵 Art medium: Digital. Photoshop.

🎵 Summary: Harry finally has a chance with Draco and he's not gonna let it go.

📻 Start Over Again [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: milkandhoney / @fictional 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: Do you feel like a chainstore? Or in which one is Graham Coxon and one is Damon Albarn.

📻 Down for What You Want [Teen] 🖌️ Artist: @sugareey 🎵 Art medium: Digital

🎵 Summary: After the war, finding refuge in the clubs of Muggle London is easier than dealing with the shambles of the wizarding world. When Harry and Draco keep running into each other at Apollo's every Saturday night though, they follow their gut instincts to get on the dance floor and discover something they both have been craving for a long time.

📻 What do I do? With a Love That Won’t Sit Still [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: @cambiodipolvere 🎵 Art medium: traditional (graphite)

🎵 Summary: Italian Greyhounds are small and fucked up, but Draco is a big fuck up and that requires scaling.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art and Fic 🎶

📻 A Halo of Fairy Orbs [E, 20.6k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: vivi1138 / @penguinanimagus & Fae_vorite / @faevorite-main-blog 🎵 Art medium: digital art

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy has been dead for fifteen years, but the Black Family tapestry doesn’t agree. Upon returning from long years abroad, Harry discovers that his old rival might still be alive, and his revived obsession leads him to Malfoy Manor. There’s a mystery to solve, and Harry is chasing a thrill he hasn’t felt since sixth year. He needs to know.

📻 Oh, Sinnerman [E, 40k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: @lou-isfake and @babooshkart 🎵 Art medium: digital

🎵 Summary: “I’m serious, Potter,” Malfoy said quietly. “That was some real bad luck you had, being there last night. They will come after you, and they will kill you—after torturing you for information on my whereabouts.” He pocketed Harry’s wand, but held on to his knife, twirling it between his fingers. Harry was distracted by its movement, the reflections of the bright, dawning sun on polished silver. “I’m not happy about it, either, but you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.” He watched Malfoy’s face for a long time, in a staring contest he wasn’t sure he’d signed up for. Stuck with Malfoy, for the foreseeable future, on the run from a massive crime syndicate that had infiltrated the Ministry and was out for their blood. It was all very familiar, except for the Malfoy part.

📻 The Crane Lord of Gringotts [E, 31.1k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: @vukovich and @crazybutgood 🎵 Art medium: Origami, photography

🎵 Summary: Harry is fine. Being an Auror is fine. Living with Ginny is fine. It's all fine. But it used to be a lot better.

📻 The World Is A Violent Sky [E, 60k] 🖌️✒️ Author/Artist: writingsbydestiny / @starlitsilvereyes 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: Harry Potter wants to die; Draco Malfoy wants to live — a story of life and death, everything in between and beyond — in the form of scatters of love and hurt like freckles of stars forming into constellations. — Alternative Summary (And Significantly Less Poetic): Four years after the war, Harry remains grief-stricken. In an attempt to discover the parts of him that haven’t died in the Forbidden Forest, he drops off the face of Scotland to travel the world by himself. Along the way, he finds his old enemy, Draco Malfoy, in a Muggle country, looking positively dashing even with a slash of scar decorating his face. As always, Harry’s curiosity leads him to (un)fortunate places.

📻 The Stars Have Courage [M, 85k] 🖌️✒️ Author/Artist: @fantalf 🎵 Art medium: Digital painting

🎵 Summary: Draco can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t move. He can’t hear anything besides the buzzing in his ears. The walls are closing in. The world becomes smaller, narrowing itself to the pain in his chest, and it becomes the only thing that makes sense. He tries to cry. Maybe he is crying, but there are no tears anymore. Luna’s words echo endlessly in his brain. Harry doesn’t remember. Harry doesn’t love Draco. Repeating ceaselessly. Infinite, Harry used to say. No. No. No. Draco can’t lose him again. But he doesn’t know who you are now. He doesn’t love you. He hates you. You are no one. His world turns into an overwhelming pain. And that pain is all that he is. — Draco waited five long years to watch his husband wake up from a coma. He's not ready to meet a Harry with no memory of anything that happened after he died at The Battle of Hogwarts, twelve years ago.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic Collab 🎶

📻 'Til Your World Burns [E, 25.3k] ✒️ 🖋️Authors: @ladderofyears and @iero0

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy is raped and watches as his world falls apart. Harry Potter is the quiet, unassuming wizard who finally listens to him.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶

📻 Inside These Walls [M, 5.6k] 🖋️ Author: @jackvbriefs

🎵 Summary: The year before Draco moves to Los Angeles, Harry Potter disappears. Draco doesn't mean to find him. He's just doing his job.

📻 Drive a Little Slower [Gen, 1.6k] 🖋️ Author: bluefay / @thesleepiesthufflepuff

🎵 Summary: He silently willed Harry to drive a little slower. To let him pretend a little longer.

📻 Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon [T, 16k] 🖋️ Author: thestarryknight / @the-starryknight

🎵 Summary: The Ministry didn’t turn bad overnight. Harry didn’t suddenly turn rogue either. Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person. If there’s an art to fighting back, then they’ll find it hand in hand.

📻 Two Starts, One Finish [E, 5.5k] 🖋️ Author: @lqtraintracks

🎵 Summary: I feel him before I see him. Nobody stands this close to me while I’m playing, and I’m about to turn to tell him so when he says, “You’re a tough bloke to track down,” and then leans against my baby grand.

📻 Never Gonna Give You Up [E, 5k] 🖋️ Author: InnerLilith

🎵 Summary: Five times Harry rickrolls Draco, and one time Draco gets him back.

📻 Alone Together [T, 3k] 🖋️ Author: @iero0

🎵 Summary: He felt like a spectre, roaming the treeless grounds, the deserted streets of Hogsmeade. It was only the train station—of course it was, Harry thinks—that harboured another sleepless soul that night. They were found as though they had been looking for one another; freezing to the ground at the sight of an unmistakable silhouette in the distance, before wordlessly meeting on the platform. They stood there, side by side, faces to the sky.

📻 Nothing Left to Burn [E, 5,1] 🖋️ Author: skeptique / @skeptiquewrites

🎵 Summary: Over ten years after their fling crashed and burned, Harry runs into Draco and finds embers still burning bright. Sometimes your ex-lover is (metaphorically) dead. And sometimes it's summertime in Montreal and the past won't let go.

📻 The Isle of Discussion [E, 21.6k] 🖋️ Author: @shealwaysreads

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco arrive at the shores of Loch Leven to record the magical history of the land. They’re friends now, but up there in the Highlands, amidst the trees and sky and that wild expanse of water their own past is more present than ever; a gap they still can’t bridge. Magic illuminates the truth, but it is Harry and Draco who have to speak it. Happily, it turns out that honesty is, in fact, the best policy.

📻 (You Should Have Been My) High School Lover [T, 3.9k] 🖋️ Authort: @aprofessionalprotagonist

🎵 Summary: After years of carefully avoiding running into Harry Potter, Pansy tricks Draco into attending a party at Grimmauld Place. How is he supposed to deal with a very attractive Potter trying to talk to him?

📻 Both Hands [E, 10.4] 🖋️ Author: @sweet-s0rr0w

🎵 Summary: It’s been over a decade since Draco packed up his belongings and left, and Harry’s doing just fine. Really, he is. So when he spots the For Sale sign outside their old flat, he doesn’t think twice about arranging a viewing. Curiosity is only natural, right? And what harm can come from a quick trip down memory lane?

📻 His favourite piece of art [E, 1.3k] 🖋️ Author: @gnarf

🎵 Summary: Six years after Malfoy had left, Harry suddenly spotted him on the dancefloor of a Muggle club in London. He couldn't let this opportunity slip…

📻 I'll Try to Keep the Walls From Falling Down [M, 14.9k] 🖋️ Author: @drarrelie

🎵 Summary: It’s OK. Love is only meant for some; Harry knows that. Besides, he wouldn’t want to risk this new, amazing friendship he has going on with Draco for anything in the world. Keeping his walls from falling down is the least he can do.

📻 Learn to Fly [T, 11k] 🖋️ Author: @janieohio

🎵 Summary: Harry’s suffocating under all the expectations of the wizarding world, but he’s fascinated at Malfoy’s sudden ability to flaunt his true self to whoever cares to watch. And Harry? He might like to do something more than watch if he can ever get up the nerve.

📻 Restless Dreams (Stay With Me) [T, 5.5k] 🖋️ Author: wanderingeyre

🎵 Summary: At first, Draco thinks the common room is empty, but then he sees Potter sitting on the floor, back to the wall on the far side of the fireplace. His head is thrown back, exposing the brown column of his throat. The curl of his hair looks soft in the firelight. Potter’s glasses are off and there are tracks where tears have wet his cheeks. He looks naked in a way that stabs at Draco, right between the ribs where everything is already bruised.

📻 Letters From Home [T, 1.1k] 🖋️ Author: @articcat621

🎵 Summary: Writing to each other is all that's getting them through this war.

📻 so lie to me tonight [T, 5.3k] 🖋️ Author: M0stlyVoid / @bonesliketambourines

🎵 Summary: Ginny thought it would be different, after.

📻 Mortal Frame [M, 6.6k] 🖋️ Author: tackytiger / @tackytigerfic

🎵 Summary: Draco’s on a mission, and this time it's personal. But it's not easy to track down something that no one wants to talk about, especially when Harry Potter keeps popping up everywhere Draco goes. Though at least he’s on Draco’s side this time, and if he happens to be useful, and kind, and great in bed—well, Draco’s not exactly complaining. The story of three pubs, one Horcrux, four overpriced sandwiches, and two damaged men just trying to make sure that Bellatrix Lestrange stays dead.

📻 Prologue [T, 4.5k] 🖋️ Author: adavison / @aedwritesfic

🎵 Summary: Ten years after the war, Harry stumbles across Malfoy in a Muggle club. What could have been an awkward encounter might just be a new beginning.

📻 A Care To Fill The Vessel Of Your Heart [M, 2.5k] 🖋️ Author: @onbeinganangel

🎵 Summary: Draco doesn’t care for atonement. Why should he? Forgetting is easier than forgiving. Or it would be, if fate just left him to his own devices. Fate, as per usual, has its own plans.

📻 Like a Dream I Can Reach (but not quite hold) [M, 19.4k] 🖋️ Author: Cassiara / @cassiaratheslytherpuff

🎵 Summary: Harry spends his life waiting for something he isn’t entirely sure he wants, and looking for something he doesn’t know exists. Everything feels ill-fitting until Draco Malfoy enters his life and shows Harry he doesn’t have to want the expected things, and Harry learns happiness doesn't have to look a certain way.

📻 Sun and Rain [M, 4.7k]

🖋️ Author: @isamijoo

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy thinks that being in a relationship with Harry Potter is anything but easy, but then again, what's the sun without the rain?

📻 In Pursuit of Lost Marbles [T, 22k] 🖋️ Author: Theartfulldodger / @graymatters

🎵 Summary: Every night after work, Healer Malfoy follows the same routine, beginning with a familiar flight of stairs that leads to the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's. With an air of professionalism, he introduces himself to Harry, his husband of seven years, when a memory curse makes Harry look at him like a stranger. He tries not to flinch when Harry calls him sir, but he smiles when bits of the old Harry emerge. Eventually, Draco leads Harry to the Pensieve where he shows him pieces of the life they've built together, what Harry will come home to, one day, when this is all over. Then, Draco waits. He waits, and he hopes.

📻 Requiem [T, 1.8k] 🖋️ Author: EvAEleanor / @evaeleanor

🎵 Summary: Requiem — A song of mourning composed or performed as a memorial to a dead person.

📻 Changes With The Moon [Gen, 1.6k] 🖋️ Author: @missdrarrydawn

🎵 Summary: Draco takes a stroll to try to settle his turbulent thoughts, plagued by who he was, who he is and who he could be. A friend offers him a whole new world and Draco struggles with the idea, for there is too much at stake, it isn't worth it. Or—is it?

📻 Chasing Dragons [E, 89.9k] 🖋️ Author: The_Sinking_Ship / @the-sinking-ship

🎵 Summary: Draco can think of only one way to outclass his pleat-front-khaki-wearing politician ex, and that’s by making headlines with an obvious upgrade. And who better to upstage the cheating bastard than the Saviour of the World, Harry Potter himself? Sure, Potter is a little rough around the edges in ripped jeans, a rumpled tartan shirt, and a permanent scowl. Draco reckons a haircut and a shave wouldn’t hurt, either. But Potter is also in need of a Healer willing to keep his secrets, and Draco is just the man for the job. It’s a perfectly reasonable exchange. They need only attend a couple parties arm-in-arm, smile nicely for the paparazzi, and tolerate each other long enough to convince everyone they’re smitten. In return, Draco will keep Potter alive and in one piece. But it isn’t long before Draco realises he might be in over his head, because Potter is ten tonnes of trouble packed into a leather jacket, and seems keen on hurtling himself towards death on the back of a flying motorbike. And that says nothing of Potter’s penchant for fire-breathing beasts and things that bite. Ah well, at least they’ll have some fun while it lasts. After all, Draco always did like a bit of danger.

📻 Drive, Draco [M, 2.4k] 🖋️ Author: Erebeus / @erebeus-roxy

🎵 Summary: got my driver’s license today, but you're not around to see. Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe

📻 Fire [E, 10k] 🖋️ Author: GallifreyisBurning / @gallifrey1sburning

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy has never had trouble getting boyfriends. The problem is getting one that doesn’t leave him feeling cold after the first few months. He’s looking for something specific: passion, excitement, someone to keep him on his toes. He just doesn’t know how to go about finding it. After kicking his latest boyfriend to the curb, Draco’s at a loss for what to do next, until it occurs to him that a relationship with his fiery (and hot) Gryffindor colleague might not burn out so quickly—if he can just convince Harry to try it.

📻 Into the Unknown [M, 4.5k] 🖋️ Author: @drarrelie

🎵 Summary: It’s been echoing within him for months, like an annoying song that gets stuck in your head and refuses to let go. A nagging feeling in his core, telling him to say something, to do something, to go somewhere. Last night it finally happened. He did it. And it felt good; right. “I can’t be sure.” Four words, easy as that. It had been almost impossible to smother the sudden burst of joy rushing through him as that deep-seated urge rejoiced his unexpected act of rebellion. You’d think the Dark Lord’s punishment would’ve taken the exhilaration out of him, but no. Here he is, countless Crucios later, beaten and bruised, and never has the voice sounded this clear. He’s said something. He’s done something. And now he just has to go somewhere. He has no idea where, but he’s certain it will come to him. All he has to do is get out of here, then trust magic to do the rest.

📻 Home is What We Make of It [M, 20.3k] 🖋️ Author: @monsieur-hadrien

🎵 Summary: "There was a blistering draft from the child’s bedroom on the opposite side of the hallway. The door’s handle was icy to the touch as she wrapped her hand around the metal. Unlike the rest of the house, the door gave her resistance in her effort to open it. Unlike the rest of the house, when she opened the door, she couldn’t imagine anyone ever living there. Unlike the rest of the house, there was neither love nor warmth nor any semblance of life that seeped from the rest of the house’s walls. It was cold and hard and chilled her to her bones. She shivered. However, her sense of dread was not just from the cold. Perhaps it was the gaping hole in the wall." Harry and Draco want to start a family, but time loves parallels.

📻 Move, move [M, 9k] 🖋️ Author: @maesterchill

🎵 Summary: She grabbed Harry’s hand, slipping something small into it and pressing his fingers around it. “Dilectio. It’ll cheer you up. Make you feel like dancing.” Harry gaped at her. Drugs. Ginny’s fucking giving me drugs? At Stasis nightclub Ginny does indeed give Harry drugs. But it's all good: Malfoy looks after Harry, and Harry grapples with newfound enlightenments, not to mention a newfound fascination with all things Malfoy—one which persists, even when he finds out what Malfoy's up to.

📻 Euphoria [E, 66k] 🖋️ Author: @iero0

🎵 Summary: Driven by trauma, Harry cuts ties with friends and family. From crowded nightclubs and enthralling live shows, Harry finds himself stumbling into a superficial world where he's lonelier than ever. When even the constant blithe of substance-induced highs can't prevent things from becoming what he ran away from, Draco Malfoy finds Harry. Draco, who’s wearing Muggle jeans and who’s listening to Muggle music and who suggests having a nice little chat on mephedrone. And whose nose crumples beautifully when he laughs. Or: A story about Harry trying to cope with the help of drugs until he finds a new addiction. Draco likes to mend things.

📻 Your House [E, 2.9k] 🖋️ Author: @tontonguetonks

🎵 Summary: Draco tries to serve Harry divorce papers, but Harry isn't home.

📻 Misery Loves Company [E, 22.9k] 🖋️ Author: vivi1138 / @penguinanimagus

🎵 Summary: Stuck in his own head, misunderstood and lonely, Harry would love nothing more than to stay hidden in Grimmauld Place until the end of time. Malfoy won’t let him, and that's just what Harry needs.

📻 You Sexy Thing [E, 10.6k] 🖋️ Author: shortie990

🎵 Summary: As Harry began to tap his foot along to the music, the lights flashed like lightning in the middle of a summer storm, and his eye went straight to the middle of the dance floor. His eyes zoomed in on Draco. The blond looked striking as he moved his slender hips to the soulful beat. Harry watched, captivated as he pressed himself up to Pansy and began to sing to the song.

📻 A Love Story of Less-Than-Epic Proportions [E, 39k] 🖋️ Author: InnerLilith

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco are just friends. Sure, they work together, and live together, and go to gigs together, and do pretty much everything else together—so what? That’s just what friends do. And Harry has no interest in messing with their friendship. He certainly doesn’t need everyone else constantly meddling, pestering them to just get on with it and get together already. He’s having a hard enough time as it is, trying to come to terms with the fact that he probably isn’t ever going to find love. But who needs love, anyways, when you’ve got a best friend?

📻 Cup of tea, Love? [E, 15.1k] 🖋️ Author: shushu_yaoi_lj / @orange-peony

🎵 Summary: Things between them are easy, so much easier than Harry expected. The problem is the outside world, which grows increasingly and ridiculously difficult. “We could leave,” Draco suggests. Harry has always wanted to travel.

📻 holemate [E, 18.9k] 🖋️ Author: @vukovich

🎵 Summary: 'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates So where do we begin? I can finally see you're as fucked up as me So how do we win?

📻 Home is Wherever I’m With You [Gen, 2.6k] 🖋️ Author: persephoneapple

🎵 Summary: Harry plans on proposing to Draco tonight, but it takes a Prophet article and a conversation between Draco and Pansy to realise how much Draco means to him.

📻 When the remembering is done [E, 24.8k] 🖋️ Author: Sassy3 / @sassy-sassy3

🎵 Summary: “–and we’ll make sure that you can stay at home as long as possible before it will be too hard to manage,” Potter finished. Draco could only blink, trying to make sense of the words he had heard before and after he zoned out. He cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m sorry, Potter. Why wouldn’t she be able to live at home?” Draco Malfoy leads a quiet life. Sure, he doesn’t really like his job, and he never imagined he’d have to move back in with his parents at the manor, but at least he has his lovely son Scorpius to dote on. The only problem is that it gets… a bit lonely. But when his mother starts behaving strange and forgetful, he finds himself in need of help from the one person he never reconciled with after the war.

📻 If you smile at me again, I may do something stupid [M, 6.9k] 🖋️ Author: @emilattes

🎵 Summary: Draco made his peace with Harry Potter and their failed relationship two years ago. He's happy with his new boyfriend, but when Harry becomes the man Draco needed him to be, he finds it's much harder to ignore their history.

📻 smoke break [E, 4.3k] 🖋️ Author: saltwatergarden / @talkingtravesties

🎵 Summary: The first few times, they hovered a bit; Draco offered wine and they sat there and sipped and made small talk, until finally Potter would snap and say, “this is stupid,” and reach out to pull Draco into a kiss. After a while, they fell into a rhythm. Sometimes Potter would be in a rush, and he’d just throw himself at Draco the second he was through the door. Other times, he seemed intent on torturing Draco with his slow and teasing kisses. Potter rarely stayed the night, typically Flooing home after they were done, and they never went out, or, for that matter, met at Potter’s place. Draco was very aware of what he was to Potter—a convenience—and despite his pride, he accepted it, because he knew it was the most he was ever going to get from Potter, and far more than he deserved.

📻 4th Day of the New Show [M, 6.2k] 🖋️ Author: @meandminniemcg

🎵 Summary: Lucius, freshly released from Azkaban, shows up at Draco's show. And Harry has been nervous all day. How does Draco handle the situation?

📻 I Want More? [E, 10.7k] 🖋️ Author: @drarryismymuse

🎵 Summary: Draco had successfully avoided British wizarding society for eight years, until necessity drove him to attend a swanky Ministry event. A chance encounter at that event sparks a passionate affair that just might change the course of Draco’s entire life.

📻 Until It All Comes Undone [E, 38.5k] 🖋️ Author: @mystickitten42

🎵 Summary: Following his confrontation with Voldemort, Harry returns from King’s Cross Station completely changed. He wakes up at Privet Drive with no memory of his past, the war or magic. Petunia, widowed and suffering from empty nest syndrome, is only too happy to turn Harry into Dudley 2.0. But something’s not quite right. Plagued by recurring nightmares, Harry can’t help but feel something is missing. A bottle of his cousin’s LSD helps him to forget his worries… Magic may not be real, but the hallucinations and the hot blond he meets all feel pretty magical to Harry. Having turned his back on his family, Draco is determined to start over and do the right thing. But he’s never made good decisions when it comes to Harry Potter. When Potter—presumed dead, but very much alive—unexpectedly returns, Draco will do anything for a second chance. Even if it means pretending not to know who he is…

📻 When the Day Met the Night [M, 5.7k] 🖋️ Author: Albuss

🎵 Summary: When the day met the night, all was golden in the sky. In the middle of summer. The Battle of Hogwarts is through, and Harry, somehow, isn't. Draco isn't either. In rebellion against all they have endured, the two embark on a summer of adventure, seeking an ember of hope in the darkness. What they find is unforgettable.

📻 Born to Drown [M, 3.2k] 🖋️ Author: @floydig

🎵 Summary: Draco drives a Knight Bus in the slums of Paris. Sometimes his passengers remind him of Harry. But Harry left years ago. Now, Harry is married to Ginny, and Draco drives a bus. You laugh. “Sorry, I don't know why I’m laughing. It’s really not funny—your dad being dead and shrivelled.” “Fuck off.” I turn to face you. Your eyes are red, your pupils almost blown. Your skin is grey-tinged and sallow, and you're not the one who’s dead. “Merlin, Potter,” I say, hoarse. “How much bloody Dreamless did you shoot up this time?” “Enough for me to live.” You grin wide. “You want me to be alive, don’t you?” Your raw-bitten lips, your chipped teeth, your fucking mouth. I hate all of them, but really I don’t.

📻 Stop And Stare [T, 36.5k] 🖋️ Author: devilishcries

🎵 Summary: After surviving your everyday war-torn childhood, Harry had found a constant rhythm to his life. The thing is, he didn't quite like it. It was repetitive, dull, and he badly wanted to switch it up. So, when he stumbled upon Draco Malfoy on the verge of committing arson in a muggle library, he proposed a deal neither could refuse. (Well, Malfoy was desperately trying to refuse it. But that wasn't the point!) What he failed to factor in was how pretty Malfoy's hands were. One thing led to another, and suddenly, he was obsessed with the idea of holding them.

📻 Wicked Game [E, 20.9k] 🖋️ Author: @cassiopeiasshadow

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco fall into a spring that allows them to enter into each other’s dreams - but Harry doesn’t quite understand what’s happening, not at first. Why does he keep seeing Draco having kinky sex with a dream version of Harry? And furthermore, why does he like it? Morpheus’ tail twitched irritably. “I warned you away from the poppies. The blame lies with you.” “Me? Potter’s to blame for this, he’s the one who dragged me out to this miserable -” “You would do well not to insult the home of those whom you ask for help,” said Morpheus coolly, though Harry saw a bit of detached amusement in his expression. Malfoy had no self awareness. It’s adorable how stupid he is, Harry thought, and then caught himself thinking Malfoy was adorable and became deeply troubled. “I’m…” Malfoy closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “Sorry. Please - I need advice. I can’t keep him out of my dreams.”

📻 Dedication and Desperation [T, 6.1k] 🖋️ Author: meditationsinemergencies / @meditationswrites

🎵 Summary: Diagnosed with a rare and serious illness, Draco has mostly given up until Harry comes to visit.

📻 Famous [E, 23.9k] 🖋️ Author: fwooshy / @fw00shy

🎵 Summary: It's a couple of years after the war, and Harry's bored of models now, the same way he's bored of Ron's constant nagging, bored of his Weasley monogram knitwear, bored of the same fucking grin that greets him when he hands his fire-truck red Bugatti over to the valet every night. He wants to find—well, he isn't sure what he wants. Anything but models. Harry is in the mood for...messy. And Draco Malfoy's looking like a walking disaster in the making.

📻 stitched and sewn [E, 7.9k] 🖋️ Author: @wheezykat

🎵 Summary: Harry shudders, fingertips pulsing against Draco’s thighs. He can feel the sharp, metal edge of Harry’s wedding band digging into his flesh, knows he’ll have a bruise there in the morning, a small imperfection that only he’d be able to see. It’s one of the only marks he’ll vanish, not wanting to think about its implications; the rest he’ll keep for himself. Slowly, Harry relaxes, shoulders sinking, breaths changing their cadence to a new tempo. Resigned, surrendered to this dance they do.

📻 Watch the Castles Burn [E, 21.3k] 🖋️ Author: @moonflower-rose

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy knows better than to get involved with Harry Potter. If only someone would have reminded him of that six months sooner, then maybe he wouldn't be in quite such a large mess.

🎶 H/D Wireless Podfic 🎶

📻 Modern Love [E, 61k, 5h29m] 🎙️ Podficcer: @lastontheboat 🖋️ Author: tackytiger

🎵 tackytiger’s original summary: Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is. And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what’s he doing right, that Harry isn’t? Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years. And that’s what starts it all.

📻 [Podfic] How Can I Live Without You? [Gen, 2.2k, 15min 29sec] 🎙️ Podficcer: Static_Whisper 🖋️ Author: ununquadius

🎵 ununquadius’ original summary: After Draco's death, Harry wonders how can he live without the one he loves when he's so far away.

📻 [Podfic] Keep Holding On [M, 33.3k, 3hrs 37min] 🎙️ Podficcer: @thunder-of-dragons 🖋️ Author: gnarf

🎵 gnarf’s original summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget. Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on the request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state. Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry's newest grand idea to make everything worse. Making new allies, and losing old ones along the way, will hopefully be worth it in the end.

📻 [Podfic] Kill, Fuck, Marry [E, 12.7k, 1:27:55] 🎙️ Podficcer: @timothysboxers 🖋️ Author: lettersbyelise

🎵 lettersbyelise’s original summary: Malfoy leans toward him with a baleful look. “I do believe Pansy Parkinson, my best friend, paid you to spend the evening with me. It’s my birthday, Potter. So you’re going to get off your Gryffindor arse, and you’re going to dance with me. I want to dance. I want to win. I want that bloody trophy on my shelf before the end of the night.” Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter.

📻 [Podfic] You Still Look Like a Movie / You Still Sound Like a Song [T, 3.2k, 19:43 min] 🎙️ Podficcer: bluedreaming / @blue--dreaming 🖋️ Author: shilo1364

🎵 shilo1364’s original summary: Harry Potter doesn't want to attend his ten-year Hogwarts Reunion Ball. He doesn't want to dance. And he *definitely* doesn't want to remember his former lover, Draco Malfoy. Of course, his life has never really been dictated by what he wants.

#REVEALS #Wireless Reveals #hd wireless reveals #hd wireless 2021 #drarry #drarry fic #drarry art #drarry podfic #lil nas x

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namjoonchronicles · 4 years

Text

impression | yg

↳ genre fluff, domestic, established relationship

↳ words 5.5k

↳ summary many forgot that when you marry someone, you marry their family too, at least that’s how Asian family is like

↳ warning that side of adulthood, lockdown because of pandemic, self-worth, over-sensitivity, pisces dude, married life conflicts

↳ song ariana grande ‘pov’

Just this morning you woke him up with ‘Daechwita’ blasting on his ear drums, dancing and prancing around the home gym in your spandex bra and sweatpants, rapping to every word he wrote, with more swag than ten Yoongis combined. Forehead glistened with sweat, rosy cheeks and more life in you than he ever had. He leaned by the door sill just watching in utter disbelief and renewed admiration to just how much you loved his music. It never gets old. But how the tables have turned, two minutes before midnight.

You’ve locked yourself in the bathroom, him leaning his back on the wall, speaking through the closed door, calling out for you.

“Talk to me. Please… Say something. Anything,” he puts his lips inches away from the door, covering his hand over his mouth to direct the sound towards you, hoping it would get through. Fat chance, but at least he tried.

Must be something in his drink last night for him to hear his own song even when he is sleeping, Yoongi thought. But he didn't drink last night? Yoongi pulled the duvet down his head, contorting his entire face and the blaring boom bass music, rippling through the miniature figure standees of famous baseball players he had lined up on the TV cabinet. The music was so loud, the pictures hung on the walls began rattling at each beat drop. Where is this music coming from??

Two seconds in, and the empty spot next to him spoke volumes. All answers were as clear as day.

Yoongi sat up on the bed, duvets pooled around his waist as he yawns loudly and his bed hair flopping on either side leans towards, some baby strands standing in all directions. He scratches his arms, neck and belly as he comes awake. Face puffy, eyes barely open, and cheeks as circle as they could be. He gathered the duvet to the side and pushed himself off to the edge of the bed while shoving his feet into his indoor slippers. He tried to fetch his phone from the bedside table and saw it vibrating on its own from the loud music.

"Better stop her before the neighbours come complaining…"

He waddles about the room lazily, dragging his feet, his arm reaching for the switch panel before he even arrives to have the curtain open and let the sun in. The automated curtain aligned and folded creases perfectly as it gathered itself to each designated side. The bed, the bed will be made up later after he advises his wife not to deafen the whole neighborhood with his albums and he could finally think.

The teal-colored walls that extended along the hallway of the house, decorated with wedding pictures, family pictures, his signed baseball jerseys, picture of his basketball days (the one he jumps for a slam dunk and especially proud of, you know the one), your graduation picture (with him professionally photoshopped in) and some lovely polaroids of your first unofficial date that he insists was official. More on that later. Yoongi walks pass this memory lane with a stern face, shooting glares ahead, marching in the direction of the music, which seems to be coming from the gym. What he saw was a petite figure, all hyped up, sweaty, holding up a water bottle to your lips like a microphone, mouthing his rap like it was your own. You saw him in the mirror reflection but instead of coiling away, shy, you spat his rap to his face with flaming confidence. Yoongi looks down with a shy smile, eyes turning small and polite, skin blushing pink with second hand embarrassment. His face is hot and your sweaty skin, hair plastered to your neck and forehead, in revealing spandex was not helping. Neither is your swag. He clamped his lips with his teeth while you pulled his arm so he would join you. He protested lazily but didn't resist as hard. He throws his head back, whining dejections but you couldn't care less.

"Are you making your own concert here? Plagiarising my songs?"

You heard him and grinned widely at the mirror. He folded his arms and watched you dance seductively and just as the rap got to the 'my tongue sends boys and girls to China' part, the music stops and he is no longer next to you but by the stereo and turning it off.

"Yoongi! I was working out!" "People are gonna come and complain…" "They know who you are…" "They know my name from you…"

Screaming underneath him, that's what he meant. You rolled your eyes at him. He passed you a face towel with a sheepish smile. Wiping your face with it, you watched Yoongi unplug your phone from the sockets. It reveals several missed calls from your mother in law, Yoongi's mom.

"Mom called…" "Really?"

You moved closer to him to see. Yoongi reads the message she sent you outloud and the colors drained down your face.

"What do I cook? What do I do? What does she usually have for lunch? OMG, I don’t know. Do we even have kimchis left? I hadn't restocked…" "She likes fried dumplings and soy garlic chicken stew… it'll be okay. She said she is coming around noon. It's just a little over 8 am… Go take a shower."

You scurried to the bathroom and did as told. Yoongi made the bed while he waited. He turns the cordless vacuum cleaner on but it beeped soullessly because it wasn't charged. He sighed. You always forget to charge them after using them. He opted for a broom and dustpan instead. Yoongi disappears into his home studio, to take the shampoo he had been using and after-shower lotion for you to use. He twisted the knob, knowing you wouldn't lock them when you shower. Knock on the glass door of the shower and told you to use them. You nodded, passing him a look over your shoulder but he was out as quickly as he entered. That cold, cold steely husband.

You stepped out of the shower wrapped in towels with your hair dripping wet, hurrying to the hairdryer to dry your hair. Yoongi walks in with nothing but a towel around his waist. He passes you a chaste kiss on the shoulder first, then your cheeks before he continues to unravel his briefs and showered as well. The water trickles down his face, neck and shoulders, cascading down his speckless back, over the bum of his ass and wetting his happy trails at the same time. He aggressively rubs water over his face, the tips of his hair appear darker as it gets wet. You dressed up in your oversized hoodie, a pair of jeans and red converse, hair tied up in a bun, grabbing your purse for a quick run to the store. If your mother in law is coming, the least you could do is cook an all korean cuisine, prep nicely on the table so she knows that her son was taken care of nicely. Giving her a lasting good impression was your core priority as of now. And Yoongi would have been more than happy to do the grocery for you but this time, just this once, you want to show him that you are dependable too.

If there is anything you learned from korean cuisine is that food is prepared meticulously like you would, a form of art. Everything is placed neatly on a plate, and wrapped tightly. Taste and looks must be perfect. Everything had a sequence. Tradition and culture shapes the good people of Korea to what it is today. And for Daegu native, Yoongi's deep accent and habits become one of the most significant traits that flags a Daegu representative. You are obsessed with getting it right. Although you mostly don't understand the heavy accents he tends to let slip out once in a while, you were expecting to guess the words as it comes. His accents are one of the things that you loved about him. Daegu dialects are strong, and oozing masculinity. They are often direct and unapologetic so it might be heard as harsh. You couldn't tell apart if he is cursing or if he is just plainly just talking about his day when his friends stop by. He caught you a few times, staring blankly at him when he blurted out dialects out of frustrations, and he laughed them off when you accuse him of lying to you about what the words actually mean.

With his mom stopping by, the dialects are going to be thick and you would probably stare blankly most of the time. Communications are limited and Yoongi had to come back and forth to translate some of them.

Korean cooking is not your forte. Let's put that out there, in the open for everyone to see and understand. You are not familiar with it, and although you love some of it, some just don't fit your taste buds. But Yoongi is a full blown Korean. You make adjustments here and there, but it's not like he is always around for you to cook them often. That's why your korean cooking skills deteriorated. Even simple things like choosing which mushrooms to cook with takes 10 minutes longer than it probably should. You went with your heart and took the one you saw first.

Yoongi came out from the baths to see an empty room. Your perfume wafts over his nostril and it tattles about your whereabouts. Just as he was about to investigate, his phone shrieked a calling tone. It was Jungkook. Asking for a chord. He sounds desperate and bored to death. Being a good friend, Yoongi speds to his home studio after clumsily putting on some white tee on top of a grey shorts, halfway through and sending him several chords the little guy could work with, then pulling the rest of the shirt down as it loads. He swore he didn't take long but he found you already changing your clothes and starting to chop things on the chopping board, sloppily. He knows that it was not you to do things sloppily so he offered to help sharpen the knives.

"Soy garlic stew?"

You chewed your lips at him as he asked and nodded. Anxiety was written all over you. Your hands were already so shaky, and that's why you couldn't hold the knife properly, aside from it being blunt. You turned to the sink and began chopping the scallions with another knife Yoongi handed you.

“There are some potatoes I bought in the paper bags, I brought the mushroom I am familiar with, I am not sure if it's the one used in the stew. What time is it already? Is this enough time to even cook the stew? The chicken hasn’t thaw has it? I am not going to have enough time… She is going to know that the dumpling is store bought and I am putting my pride on the line…” you spoke nonstop, didn’t even hear Yoongi if he was saying anything, which you assumed he was quiet, so you became annoyed and, “Why aren’t answering any questions I have??”

Yoongi stood there, with a blank expression, “You wouldn’t even let me talk…”

You answered your own questions, and he was here listening to everything, opening his mouth and closing it before any word could come out because you bulldozed him with words, as he dug out the potatoes you were talking about, as well as the mushrooms.

“I’m sorry, I watched the youtube video on making the stew on the way to the mart and it seems pretty complicated, but doable… I think that the ginger and garlic goes in first,” you paused and sighed, “It’s been awhile since I cooked a proper meal for myself. I don’t know if I had it in me to even do this anymore…”

That’s right. While Yoongi was always away from the last two years, his work trips extended from 3 months to a whole year, and while studying for your master’s degree, you opt for simpler food, just enough for you to get by the day with a filled stomach. Most of your time is dedicated to your studies and laundry. Stopping by Daegu was hardly done, and if anything, you would just send some gifts her way. It is pretty awkward between you and his mother; language barriers, interests, and principles. You didn’t notice when Yoongi was standing behind you, his hand was on top of yours, soothing over your knuckles and he hijacked the scissors from your hands gently.

And he whispered softly atop of your head, “I got this.”

Just like that, he took over kitchen duties and let you handle the simpler stuff like, putting the pot on the stove, fill water in it, skin the potatoes, chopped them into large cubes, unstub the capsicum, peel the skin off of the chicken, peel the garlic and ginger. Yoongi’s instructions are clear and easy to follow. After all the things are chopped and prepared, he hands the ladle to you.

Your eyes widen. And you shook your head. Stepping back. Yoongi clicked his tongue and chuckled through his nose. Coax you. But no, you stepped farther back. He then took your wrist gently and placed the ladle handle in your palm.

“Trust me?” “I trust you, it’s me I don’t trust.”

“I’ll help you every step. Let’s go. Have confidence!” “You’re the multi billionaire, I’m just the struggling degree student with a part time job.”

“You’re Min Yoongi’s wife.” “I find that hard to believe sometimes…”

With another scolding tut of his tongue, you conceded. With a heavy heart.

The chopped chicken pieces are placed in a boiling water pot, and when its reddish flesh turns white and is cooked, it is drained and washed underneath cold running water to remove impurities. You watched quietly as Yoongi cleans them with his capable hands. His veins protrude, extending well over his forearms. The tip of his fingers were pinker than the rest of his hands, and he smoothes over those nooks and crannies the chicken pieces have. As ridiculous as it may sound, you were quite envious of the fact that those chickens have his full attention now. Next, the carrots.

The carotene source is peeled and chopped in large size. Yoongi helped guide your hands over the handle of the knife, because he is pretty particular on how big he wanted those carrots to be.

“Isn’t that too large?” You asked him in a small voice. They are half the size of your thumb. “No, it’s just nice…” he replied in a low voice, his lips just behind your ear, “It has to be in the same size as the potatoes, so it will cook at the same time.”

Your bottom grazed over his front and he learns to just keep you sandwiched in between the counter and him, so it won’t turn to something else. He is just as anxious as you are with his mom coming. Therefore, the percentage of him turning frisky is zero to none. The onions come next. They are chopped in half and then into fours. Yoongi paused and braced himself for tear gas attacks only there was none. He asks where you bought those onions, and you replied, it was grown in your colleagues garden. They were given for free. And he comments,

“They should sell these, we will be their first loyal customer! It doesn’t sting!”

You laughed as you prepared the fruits you bought. It was rock melon and some papayas. You avoided buying tangerine because you know she will bring some from her hometown, knowing how much Yoongi loves them. Daegu’s tangerines are very sweet and plump. There is nothing like it. Yoongi sliced green onions for the stew and extra hot chili peppers because his mom likes them spicy. Then he prepares the mixture for the broth.

“Now watch,” he instructed you, “Soy sauce, rice wine, red chilli pepper powders, minced garlic, two cups of sugar, red pepper paste, sesame oil, pepper. Mix well.”

Yoongi prepared a pot and placed the cleaned chicken pieces in them, added potatoes, carrots and water with the mixture he made just prior. Then, boil. After the chicken is cooked thoroughly, he adds onions. Then the scallions. Then salt to taste. You prepared the oven and Yoongi carried the pot to it to keep it warm until his mom arrived. Dumplings were pan fried. That one was simple. His mom doesn’t like her beverages too sweet, a simple plain water is enough.

When all the food is done, you turn to him at the same time he did. Sweats rolling down his sideburns and his thin white shirt clinging on his skin like he ran a mile. You approached him with a huge smile, swept his hair back to reveal his forehead and dabbed your inner wrist to wipe away his sweat all around his face. He sniggers through his nose. Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, you can’t help but plant a kiss on them. Nuzzling your face on his neck, you draped your arm around his shoulder and mumbled, “Thank you…”

He leans his cheek on your head and kisses one side of your brain, before exclaiming that you both need another shower after cleaning up the kitchen and turning on the air humidifier to chase away the smell of cooking.

“How was the journey?” you chirped. “The weather is scorching hot, the sun is melting me away before I can meet my son,” Yoongi’s mom complained in a thick Daegu accent, and when she stepped in, she gave you a glance and straight away went looking for her precious son. As expected.

“He was just out of the shower, he will come soon, mother,” you said the last word awkwardly, it doesn’t really roll off your tongue as comfortably as it should. She replied to you with a dejected “Hmm.”

You blinked and cast your eyes downwards, then up again to change the topic, “...Let me take you some cold drink… it must have been a torture, to walk around in such hot weather,” you sped to the kitchen and grabbed her a cold water in a tall glass.

“Hello mom…” Yoongi revealed himself from the hallway, gave his mother a hug that you didn’t receive when she walked in. “It wasn’t torture when I’ve come to see my son!” She suddenly changed her words, now she is all bright and cheerful, and you disappeared from her sight completely unless Yoongi looks over to you and includes you in the conversation. That too, wasn’t permanent. Yoongi learned that his older brother’s wife is carrying a baby and Holly had been snuggling to her tummy at every chance she gets. The sight would have been adorable and they were able to take a picture of it so Yoongi’s mom excitedly showed them to Yoongi. They both are sitting on the sofa while you were in the kitchen scooping up cooked rice into bowls of three.

“This sofa is new isn’t it? I didn’t see it the last time I was here,” his mom asked. “Yes, yes… do you like it?” Yoongi said and said you chose them. Then her enthusiasm dissipates. “I like it better without one. Now it’s too westernized,” his mom’s lips turned lopsided, continuing, “Did you know that hanging your legs down will disrupt the blood flow up to your brain? We better sit down on the floor when we eat, too…”

Yoongi prepared a Japanese folded table and pushed aside the coffee table that was there. Everything you’ve prepared on the dining table was moved to the Japanese one. When everything is set, you and Yoongi wait for his mom to start eating before you both do. It’s tradition. Even between man and wife, the older one begins eating first. Yoongi sips the stew and then you begin scooping the stew into your bowl. You were the only one eating mostly with a spoon instead of chopstick since you aren’t too accustomed to it. Yoongi’s mother said in a joking tone that you should start using the training chopstick used by toddlers.

Why are you extra sensitive today? She was just joking, but smiling is so hard right now. Your cheeks feel heavy and your shoulders stiffened. Yoongi carried the rest of the conversation effortlessly. The deep Daegu accent is already shifting your attention towards the fried dumpling instead. It was just a little over 45 minutes since she arrived, why does it feel like days?

“Dumplings, mother?” You chirped, attempted to use the chopstick and successfully landed them in her bowl.

Then she puts them back where they were, and said, “I don’t eat store-bought dumpling, darling,” before resuming to tell Yoongi the story about her neighbour getting into a real estate feud. You hold your breath in your throat and try not to think about it too much. Although you’ve finished your bowl of rice, Yoongi still hasn’t. He was busy nodding away to what his mother was saying. She barely touched the stew. When she turned to her food, you tapped Yoongi’s knee underneath the table and he looked at you wide eyed, darting at the stew. And Yoongi’s lips turned to the shape of an “O”.

“How do you like the stew, mom?” He asked. “It’s okay…” “My wife made it…” Yoongi said with a smug smile.

You smiled, shyly.

“It tastes exactly how Yoongi would cook it. I thought you cooked it, I know how horrible her korean cooking is, Yoongi… You don’t have to lie to me,” his mom passed.

After bidding her farewell at the door, Yoongi accompanied her to his brother’s incoming vehicle that fetches her. His brother made a promise to stop by when the baby arrives and when the Covid cases reduce a bit. You watched from the window from your bedroom and when the car drove off with Yoongi waving goodbye to his mom, your heart thudded differently.

Your eyes stung, and tears impending to fall as it collected around the brims. As you heard the front door beeping open to Yoongi returning, your feet dashed to the bathroom door, pushing it open as your tears rolled down your face like a dam broke.

Sensitive? Too soft? Was I too emotional? Am I not trying hard enough to be enough?

Yoongi walks in, to an eerily silent house. Ridding his shirt by pulling it over his head as he walks down the dimly lit hallway. His heavy footsteps heard across the floorings and you covered your mouth with your hand to not make any sound. He noticed that the bathroom light was on unlike the rest of the room.

“You’re showering alone? Traitor…” he pouted and wriggled the door knob and noticed it was locked from the inside. “I have a stomach ache,” you hoped you sound convincing. Your voice didn’t sound as shaky and you hope he didn’t catch on. “Okay…” he said, after a long pause. You turned the shower on to reduce the sound of you crying, and went back to sitting on the floor by the door, dug the heels of your palm into your eyes socket, and hugged your knees, sniffling.

“Hey…” his voice muffled through the door. “Hmm?” you replied, through a broken smile.

“Are you okay?”

Another dam broke.

Shit, I’ve started crying again. Why can’t I stop crying?! He is going to find out now… Fuck.

“Talk to me. Please… Say something. Anything,” he puts his lips inches away from the door, covering his hand over his mouth to direct the sound towards you, hoping it would get through.

“Was it mom? She says something you don’t like? You know how mom is, right? She doesn’t mean any of it…” now it’s Yoongi’s turned to bulldoze you with questions he himself answered.

Unable to take it anymore, you had to speak out, even if it means behind closed doors.

“I know she doesn’t like me as a daughter-in-law…” you spoke in broken voices. “Nonsense…” Yoongi passed, nonchalantly.

“No, will you please just listen to me?!” you raised your voice a bit, “I am not like your brother’s wife who cooks great Korean food, who sends her nice homemade desserts to her likings, and now is bearing a grandchild for her. I can’t cook, and had to rely on you a lot. She came over and she didn’t give me a hug like she did you, and the whole she doesn’t even speak to me unless I speak to her first, and even then, she shuts me down so I couldn’t say another word. I can’t even use a damn chopstick or make homemade dumplings she’ll eat!”

It’s Yoongi’s turn to lean his back on the door and hug his knees, then hang his head low.

“Suddenly the sofa is too westernized. And the glass doors letting in too much sunlight when I renovated it the way she wanted. It seems like everything I do is wrong and I just have no place in the Min’s household no matter how hard I try,” you sniffed, and, “To make matters worse she brought up the girlfriends you had in high school and how they cook her favourite food! Girlfriends! Plural! Here I thought you only had one… Jokes on me, I guess… It’s fine, honestly.”

There's nothing more terrifying than the word ‘fine’ you threw when you’re sad and Yoongi knows it. It signifies so many things. It indicates that you’re done, and you’re ready to let go of it, by shoving it under the rug like many other things your mother in law did to you ever since you met her. Yoongi shot his head up when the door opened and his eyes followed you in silence, a little solemn. You dried your hair, sitting on the makeup chair table, running the cool air Dyson hairdryer over the lengths of your hair. Yoongi crawled on all four and knelt behind you to hug your waist, nuzzling his face on your lower back. Then the tears returned, and kept falling.

Your gaze is stuck on the reflection of you in the mirror. What have we become?

It was one of those moments where no words seemed to suffice. Regrets and guilt becomes almost the same thing. Pointing the blame is the last thing on your mind. Choosing sides is difficult when so much is at stake. You may have unclasped his arm from around your waist, heard his wordless gesture and refused to see his face, but so much of him is in you. The fact you held on for so long was because of that man you love and married. Is this going to happen everytime your mother in law stops by?

Even then, you didn't want him to go against his own mother, nor do you want him to side with her… It was such a confusing situation.

Yoongi needs to return to the studio. He packs a few toiletries and clothes for him to wear while he is there. You helped him pack leftover food so you are not burdened to finish everything alone. The conversation shifts to what matters now. You carry your duty as a wife, his partner. You make sure that he is able to provide for this family and even though your emotions are once again neglected for the time being, you were glad that it actually occupied your mind and heart.

At the door, his manager carried his things and instead of leaving along with his manager, Yoongi told him to go first. You already know what comes next. But you aren't sure if you had it in you. One look in your eyes and Yoongi knows that you will rather die than have that conversation all over again. He ran his finger through your hair, lowered his lips to your forehead and stayed like that for awhile, and you said,

“Take care of yourself,” you spoke to his chest, breathing in his musky cologne for the days ahead without him. He stepped back, thumbed your cheek and pinched your chin, tilting your head back. He glanced at your lips while biting his own then backed away, to leave. As the view of his back got smaller and smaller, he exclaimed, “I��m going.” Not once did he turn behind to have one last look. And it was something Yoongi would do. Doesn’t matter if it's at the airport, or at the backstage, he will never look at you after he leaves you, even when he knows you’re right there standing, and looking at him. He says that, if he saw you standing there waiting for him, he will not be able to fight the urge to run to you. So he never looks back. The one thing that he always does before a work trip, is to kiss your forehead. Dr. Laurel Steinberg says, a forehead kiss indicates strong emotional intimacy.

But Yoongi says that a forehead kiss to him signifies a bond that goes beyond lust and love, it was your soul. It is to say, “I might be too far away to hold you, but my soul is yours.” It sends butterflies and confettis your way when he does it. It always feels warm and you always feel protected with a stamp of Yoongi’s lips on your forehead. It feels like a talisman. That no matter what, Yoongi is here.

Recovery. The emotional turmoil, the rollercoaster. You fill your time organizing the photos Yoongi took. With your final exams finished a week ago, you’re given a month off before you begin your final year. Yoongi now lives in his studio office because the album recording session begins and he is in every process. He is in charge of doubling and finalizing the tracks, directing and whatnot. Yoongi sends you a 1 minute 23 seconds video. Scowling at it, your face softened at the sight of him, recording himself in the studio. Dark circles doubled in size and his cheeks sunken. Poor thing hadn't been eating well did he?

“Hey, sweetie…” his familiar guttural voice resonated with your heart strings, “Sorry I haven’t been able to properly give you a call. It’s too late when I’m free, and I’m asleep when you’re awake. So I figured I’ll just send you a damn video, to hell with it.” You chuckled softly as your visions turned blurry.

“I think I will be addressing the recent issue we tucked away for later day. It’s later. You have never been good at fighting for yourself. It was something I don’t really understand because I’ve seen you fight my fight for me,” he glanced to the side and smiled fondly. You were unclear what situation he was talking about but you kept listening.

“You told me that I shouldn’t side with you because that would mean I am against my mother. Here’s what I truly think…” he breathed in and sighed loudly, “I think I should side with you. I spoke to my mom a few days ago, asked her how she is, and I told her several things I don’t like, like bringing up my past ex girlfriend, or how you can’t use the chopstick yet, or how your korean cooking isn’t great yet… how upset it made you and me. She told me that she was just jealous. I left home when I was 16. Come back when I am 20, married at 25. I will always be her son, I let her know that. But I am now someone’s husband, and I happen to cherish this someone, her heart and her wellbeing is my responsibility. I am not stolen from my mom, I consciously chose this person to be with me, to be her husband and built a home with her. And if she can’t respect that, then she cannot return to our house…”

You had to set the phone down and wipe your tears with the back of your hand.

“I’m done being a referee,” Yoongi continued after a long pause, “You’re gonna cry again, and I won’t be able to pass you tissue or give you a hug, I hope you understand what I’m trying to say. I am proud of you and all the little things you do. Daegu dialect is difficult to understand ha? That’s alright. You’re getting your degree, and you help pack my things even though you’re sad as hell the day I left. I couldn’t… I couldn’t ask for a better wife, and I hardly think I deserve you. Until we meet again, soon. Your husband, Min Yoongi.”

The video cuts to him winking.

Another text from him,

[Yoongi, 1.03AM] Impression is never permanent. I hope you give mother another try…

Wife is typing...

[Wife, 1.04AM] Erm. [Wife, 1.04AM] Sends a pic.

[Wife, 1.05AM] How’s this for a lasting impression?

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winterecho-archive · 3 years

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Hello frens! I’ve finally finished TAFE for the year, and you know what that means? I’m on my summer break until February next year! so I finally have time for tumblr and sims again! 💃🥳🍹✨ I’ve missed so many peoples here and I’m so glad to finally be back~ 🥰 I’ve missed a LOT so I might not be able to catch up on everything, but I’ll be back in your notes soon! 😁💗

Working on Winter Echo made it difficult for me to keep up with TAFE as well as I wanted to in first semester this year, so after I finished the story I decided to take a break from both tumblr and sims and throw myself entirely into my studies. I had some great results from this and learned a ton, and I’m excited to use my new skills to make stuff for sims! xD

Under the cut ~ my major project works for this semester 😊

Rendering & Lighting

For this final assessment, we had to light and texture a fruit bowl matching a photo reference we were given. I find lighting relaxing but it takes a very long time to get right (especially trying to match a reference). I’m pretty happy with how these textures turned out, they also took a really really long time to perfect. The apple and bananas were textured in Substance Painter and the grapes, orange and basket were procedurally textured in Maya. I think those grapes took me two full days to get right 😅 (the pear and table aren’t textured, we weren’t actually supposed to texture this many fruits, which I found out far too late lol)

Animation

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Our last animation assessment for the year was to animate a character jumping. A lot harder than it appears 😅 I also modelled, textured and lit this scene for it and I think it might be my favourite thing I’ve modelled/textured so far 😄 I’m very excited with how much my skills with 3D animation have improved over this semester! definitely an elective I’ll be taking for 3rd year 😊

Compositing

youtube

So I really think compositing is super fun, as you might have guessed by the amount of compositing I do for my sims shots xD For our final assessment for this class, we were given an animated spaceship (modelled and textured in Maya by our teacher) and had to composite it into an animated background scene of our choice using Nuke. Nuke is a very complex program, kinda like uber-Photoshop 😅 This very short shot took a ridiculous amount of time to create and I’m still not 100% happy with it but at some point you just gotta submit the thing, lol 😆

Production Studio

youtube

My major major project of this semester 😆 This was a group project that challenged us to use all our skills from our other classes. The brief was to model cars of the future, based on cars from the 50s, and they had to light up, talk, and fly 👀😬 I did have a lot of fun with this over the semester and I’m really happy with the final result, although there was quite a lot of drama with one member of our group who caused us a lot of troubles. 😅 The final renders for the film took such a long time that we had to get a full on render farm going over a weekend with multiple people rendering out different shots, and even then we had to render at fairly low quality to get it done. Very eye opening for the amount of time it must take to render out a full 3D animated film 👀

Thanks for taking a look at my work if you’ve gotten this far! 💗 I’m super excited to use all these new skills to create some cool stuff over my break for sims! Starting with a proper airport set... I got big plans 😁

#psa #personal #tafe work

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appy-polly-loggies · 3 years

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Opening commissions

Prices under the cut

(feel free to skip my little rant)

So apparently our dog has cancer now. And she could get a surgery that would save her but my parents refuse to pay for it because iT’s JuST An AniMAL. So I’m going to do it myself. But as a student I can’t afford it and I’m afraid that even with the summer job I already have I won’t be able to make enough in time. And I don’t want to just ask people to give me money.

So PLEASE, I understand that not everyone can/wants to pay me for something, so please share this, that way maybe someone who will be interested in commissioning me will see this.

Here are some examples of how I draw

More details and prices under the cut

Digital drawing

I’m most comfortable with this sketchy kind of style, but I can do clean or lineless too. Also if you’d like me to draw it in a certain existing style I can do that too, the extra 5 bucks is there because I have to learn the style first. Oh I can also do character design.

Comics

Plus a few extra bucks if you want me to be the one to make the story too. If you only want me to put your already existing story into comic panels, you only pay what’s above.

Traditional drawing

Mostly with linework but I can do lineless here too. Also I’m from central Europe, so if you’d like me to send you the actual piece of paper the shipping might be a little pricey. If you’re okay with not receiving it like that I can send you high quality scans and/or photos (much better quality than these don’t worry).

Animation

Right now I can only do 2D, both hand drawn and tweened. I can also do these moving pictures (also both lineless and lined), those can also have some fancy effects like particles and such. The pricing is a little tricky on this one, depending on how long and complex it would be, but I’d imagine the price would start at about 35$ for a basic loop without coloring (not nearly as long as the example above).

Photo and video editing

I don’t have any examples to put in here :( but i can do the basic video editing, (cutting stuff to make you look like a pro youtuber, putting a picture/another video/a gif over your video/photo, blurring/pixelating something out, adding sounds/music, keying and all that jazz) plus I can also do some more fancy effects in adobe ae. Also I have some basic photoshop skills, I’m no professional but I can do the basics like erasing pimples or such. Or making/editing gifs. Idk how much to charge for this :( I guess it depends on what exactly it’d be? We can talk about it

Also I’d just like you to know that I am in fact kinda desperate right now so I will also draw things I am not comfortable drawing, NSFW and whatever weird fetish you might have included, as long as you pay for it. Also don’t worry, I won’t judge you. I just want to save my dog.

If you’re interested dm me here or if you don’t want me to know your tumblr you can also dm me on instagram (@quitthisshitt)

The money will most likely go through paypal and I’ll start working on the commission as soon as I get them (or if it’s one of those more expensive ones and you want to make sure I won’t ghost you after receiving the money, you can send me half of the price first, I’ll send you the sketch/animatic so you can rest assured, then you send the rest and I finish it.

#art commission sheet #art commissions open #art commission prices #art commisions #digital art #digital drawing #traditional art #traditional drawing #animation #animation commissions #animation commissions open #commissions #commissions info

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thirtenth · 6 years

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11x01 / 11x06

#dwedit #doctor who #thirteenth doctor #yasmin khan #thirteen #thirteen x yaz #thasmin #dw spoilers #does this work now???????????? lol #i hate that my gifs look sharp on photoshop but when theyre on here they look like shit #i guess i’ll have to learn how to make these again lmao #someone help a girl out #anyway #heres to the ship that will ruin me #1k #*

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topconfessions · 4 years

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the worst as you have been doing. It is my opinion.

(continued) How many times have we been here speaking of unrelated things with TOP? An anon had sent in questions about Shinee. Another anon sent in positive question about Shinee. In between the serious asks, opinions that are published, confessions and sorting through what’s happening with the Gavin girl, there have been posts where I MYSELF have literally supported Seunghyun and said uplifting things about him that are mixed in with me being critical at times about him. So we’re going to act like I wasn’t excited for him doing music when he posted the jazzy snippet of his song on insta? I was hyping him up and truly proud of him. I even fangirl’d a little joking that he should date us and just goofing around.

If the good times in your perspective get lost with the whole semi fake detective work then it is what it is. But please let’s not paint it as this blog posts 99.99% of hatred towards him. We all want the best for this man and I’ve been through hell and back for TOP and with TOP.

I almost lost someone to suicide who nearly lost his cousin to suicide by hanging in the bathroom with a belt and TOP is part of the reason he is still alive (to my knowledge). A lot of us fans here wouldn’t be who we are nor be where we are as TOP and the rest of us BIGBANG have aided in some growth for us and learn lessons through the friendships we’ve made through them.

I’m mentioning this because I offer my own experiences and perspective to. Idk how many times in the past I’ve always disclaimered things “take it with a grain of salt”, “allegedly” “supposedly” or “in my own opinion / POV” when someone asks me something.

I 100% get where you’re coming from but you can’t honestly sit here and tell me this man isn’t off the rails somehow. You’re diminishing what could be something really wrong here and writing it off as just him in a oops relationship. But okay, let’s ignore the history. TOP is a grown man who can function day to day on his own. He’ll be alright as he has been for a while. But he is clearly at least depressed and has anxiety. I’m not even making shit up as TOP has literally told us idk how many times maybe more than 5 in the past in his interviews that he is a dark person with a dark mind in a dark place.

Anyways. We get it.

Also tbh why are you telling me to send him good vibes like we don’t do that? In every post even if I’m asked about my opinion and I get a little fed up, I’m always saying that we want him happy. we want what’s best and are paying for him?

HE HAS A SEA OF FANS SENDING HIM POSITIVE VIBES SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I’m not arguing with you but y’all damn well know by now TOP barely shows his acknowledgement of the positive comments which is a sea and a flood of it on his insta anymore. The most he does is use pics and photoshopped meme’s from fans or randomly responds to something once in a full blue moon.

I could shower him with all sorts of stuff that will never be seen as I’m one person n a sea of foreigners who aren’t aware of the industry dirt we’re talking about. These idols aren’t internalizing all “the good vibes “ you’re speaking of all the time. At some point love and adoration are hollow and just a part of the equipment to the machine that is the idol job. They appreciate it in a general sense but 90% of idols aren’t laying in bed personally scrolling through the love internalizing it and taking it to heart. By that logic Jonghyun shouldn’t be dead since our love should have been enough but it wasn’t cause if you’re miserable and already at the brink then guess what sweetie? nothing no amount of I love yous and heart emojis will stop an idol from ending his life.

TOP may just be fucking around and nowhere near the issues and mentally severity we think he is, but that’s behavior that needs to stop too. We’re grown now, we’re not 12 or 17 anymore. The average VIP and BB fan is like what 26-29? c’mon. You either take top seriously or you don’t. Idk why we discussing him like he’s a normal celebrity period when he’s not he doesn’t even carry himself like he is.

At the end of the day it’s not even that serious. This grown man will do whatever the hell he wants to do and he is a real human being. So that means let’s not paint this as all rainbows as kpop fans love to do when defending them under the guise of them being human. If he’s human he’s equally prone to fucking up like he’s able to be positive.

I’m sure months from now or even next year he’ll still be doing him.

TOP needs to learn that not everyone is going to just excuse and blindly overlook his honestly odd behavior, persona, words and how he interacts with others. If he was a regular man y’all wouldn’t be throwing roses at him for acting a fool. Yes I said it. ACTING - A - FOOL. He can be as unique as he wants to be but at some point where does unique and insane draw the line?

That’d be like people saying send positive vibes vibes to sulli and stop saying xyz about her. And we saw what happened to her. I wish the absolute best for TOP cause I love him 100% with all my heart but loving someone is about tough love and also taking a hard look at someone.

So I’m over it. This blog would have been dead without me cause no one was sending confessions when I took it. And yes I am 100% fucking ready for the “you need to drop the blog, topconfessions needs a new admin, you need to get off the blog, delete it”

trust I never say anything without being prepared. (p.s I keep saying I’m going to revamp this blog since the background is deleted cause of tinypic and just for a refresher. but I won’t even expend my energy to give if I’m getting stuff like this. I hate to be one of those people but don’t like it, sweetie don’t follow. )

Maybe TOP should learn that lesson himself too. Bye.

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ajcrwl · 5 years

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webp? hell yea!

oh god, imagine thinking that gifv or webp formats are bad and blaming it all on Googel.

it’s not the format that’s bad, tumblr just needs to tweak it’s conversion algorithm, perhaps. and let us upload our own webp files. hardly anything can compare to webp’s file size.

as someone who makes animated files for nearly every page of my comic i had to constantly choose between making a gif with smaller dimensions or destroying the quality for the sake of smaller file size. and then i found out that webp exists and WHOO BOY. i can make animations with the same dimensions and at HALF THE FILE SIZE of what the gif would be???

it’s incredibly flexible when you can control the creation of your own files. there’s even a whole ass photoshop plugin which greatly simplifies the process of saving a file as webp. in fact, even though i’m someone who is tech savvy, i prefer to use it instead of the command line for simplicity (there’s a free libwebp library, and you can also convert files with ffmpeg in your console).

and then i hear some people scream that it’s only supported by chrome, which is a lie??

wait, did you mean old as fuck IE doesn’t support it? well it’s about time to GET A BETTER FUCKING BROWSER. as for Safari holding back on webp support - i can imagine why, but none of the reasons are “because webp sucks”. so while there is no webp in your precious Apple device.... GET A BETTER FUCKING BROWSER.

I wish I could attach my own webp files for comparison, but let me show you this instead:

These are the files I made for one of the pages of my comic. Take a look at the dimensions. GIF file at half the dimensions is twice the size. Webp is only slightly compressed and looks almost exactly like the original art, while GIF has lost background gradient smoothness and gained some artifacts. I can show you a bit of the background where this difference is the most evident:

Webp is on top, GIF at the bottom. Webp can have somewhat visible “blocks” but it largely depends on the compression level. Gif has too much noise and gradient smoothness is completely ruined.

one of the things that matters to me and matters to Tumblr is server space. what also matters to me is that my animations look just as good as my original art, and considering how many effects I like to use and how many colors there are, it’s nearly damn impossible to preserve with GIFs even at the best quality settings.

OK BUT WHAT ABOUT PIXEL ART

good question. i think webp can still achieve this. i’ve done a quick test with this image:

(credit: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/9YPWa )

opened it in Photoshop and this is what the output shows:

left is source file, right is webp preview. they really look EXACTLY the same. and you know what the best part is?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

once again, the webp version is drastically smaller. okay, yeah, it says 1,5 KB in the preview and windows says 2KB, but that’s because the file is actually 1,58 so I guess it rounded up, here are the correct numbers (pardon the Russian language ui):

sooooo, stop demonising the entire file format? ask tumblr to let us upload webp files instead? if y’all are smart enough to bitch about it and find out how to turn it off in browser settings, you will learn how to make these files by yourselves too. it took me, like, one evening.

YEAH BUT TUMBLR FILES BIG, COMPRESSION HARD

i hear ya. and i already said: they need to tweak their conversion algorithm. what i noticed is that the gifv file your browser shows is always slightly bigger than the webp file it saves. i’m not sure what causes that, i’ll try to find out.

and again, as i said, we need to be able to upload our own webps. trust me, when you learn how to make them, it’s hard to look back.

#webp #gifv #gif #tumblr #mine #tests

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spooniewithtn · 7 years

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Donald Ressler and Elizabeth Keen back in the Interrogation Room together

Lipet’s Seafood Company Episode 4x09

Ressler: Forget it, Keen. I know that look. Don’t tell me you believe him.

Keen:Something’s off. It’s just a read. But, his denial seems genuine

Ressler; What about an eyewitness, Keen? Does that change your mind?

#the blacklist #donald ressler #elizabeth keen #keenler #lipets seafood company #s4 gif #spoonie learns photoshop #next i need to learn how to add text #baby steps people #thanks to those who are helping me make better gifs #@gwennieliz #@nancyjocom #yep you two #my trial is up tomorrow and that makes me sad #guess i'll have to start paying for ps #or go back to my old ways

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hydrangeachainsaw · 6 years

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Textures Tutorial (For caw)

Hello! @nornities asked me to make a Textures Tutorial! {= My textures are made with World Machine. I tried to explain it step by step, so even if you're not used to WM you still can generate your textures! Hope I can help some World Builders out there! ^-^

What you'll need:

World Machine, my textures file and the Extended Overlay Macro.

Once WM is installed, you place the Extended Overlay Macro in your Macros folder, mine is: C:\Users\Username\Documents\World Machine Documents\Macros Now In World Machine, go to "File" and open the textures file you just downloaded. Then go to "File Input" and load your heightmap, I am using Bridgeport as an example.

You need to choose a size, the default in my file is 1024x1024, but if your heightmap is the larger one then change it to 2048x2048.

The textures are in each one of the devices as you can see in the first image, there is the grass, sand, etc. The ''Extended Overlay'' one won't be used but I added it to see the preview with colours in the ''Overlay view''.

What you'll do is enter each one of the textures and tweak the settings to your liking! let's use the grass one as an example, you can generate together the 4 colours it has in there, as it is in the default file:

Or you can choose each one of them to make it more detailed in game. You can do it by changing one of the options to white and the other ones to black. Like this:

Just test these things out and you'll find a setting you like! Also, don’t forget about the settings above the colours generators. They change elevation and other things.

You just need to follow those steps for each texture: Grass, Cliffs, sand and Snow depth. (I don't really use the snow depth that much, I use the Basic Coverage Snow. I placed in there if you guys want it).

Then go to Bitmap Output, choose the location your file will be and then "Write output to disk". It might take some minutes. Once it's done you'll do it for each texture as I said before and that's it! Now import it to your CAW! {=

Here is an example with Bridgeport. I used 2 options of grass, 2 of sand, 2 cliff and only one for the snow (From Basic Coverage).

A closer look you can see the detail in the grass, I added a lighter and a darker grass.

Another example below. It’s a heightmap I have for some time and never did anything with it, I guess it’s from Terrain Party. Still need to paint that volcano ^-^

One more thing. I tried to disable shadows cause it doesn't look good in caw, even tho it looks good in WM preview. In game some parts gets brighter and others darker and I don't like it that much. But if you want the shadows anyway, go to "Enter Macro..." in Extended Overlay (or right-click it and find “Open Macro for World Editing”). Enter Light map maker, you can find it in the devices area or through the navigation:

And the settings are these below. It probably isn't the correct way of wiping out the shadows of the textures -cause I just basically changed altitude, sky lighting and Diffuse- but it works for me.

Although the tutorial ends here, I usually make some changes with each texture in caw or photoshop -like making it brighter/darker or receding the sand more, and things like that.- I just do it to "polish” the textures. (x

I learned this way of getting textures from potato ballad sims tutorial on how to get procedurally sculpted terrain so thank you! And after that I searched for some macros, and found the Extended Overlay, idk who created it but many thanks to this person aswell!

✢ ✥ ✦ ✧ ❂ ❉ ✱ ✲ ✴ ✵ ✶ ✷ ✸ ❇ ✹ ✺ ✻ ✼ ❈ ✮

UPDATE: There’s a video tutorial by @gruesim for this tuto! You can watch it here thank u frankie!

#Sims3 #Tutorial #Sims3 World #sims 3 caw #sims tutorial #download

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onthestraightandnarrowpath · 6 years

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JayTim Week Day 7: Space AU.

Or Secretly Dating AU. Or for the free prompt day, Historical AU. Leave it to me to give myself three opportunities to post, but really know that it was totally going to be on the last day possible.

Guess how many other responsibilities that I have shirked today? 😃 (But nothing that can’t be fixed tomorrow. Because, honestly, it’s gonna have to be fixed tomorrow, oh boy).

Apologies for the quality - I have really got to work in smaller image sizes - please full view for crisp (ish) lines! Also any tips for making large files smaller would be very helpful (in Photoshop).

Read more for ramblings, because let’s face it, I love deconstructing my work (which is an open invitation for someone to dialogue with me, hey hey 😉).

Watch out, I didn’t mean for this to be 1000ish words long, but here we are anyway…

First up, I visited Houston uuuuh, two months ago ish, and went to see Space Center Houston, got some tours around NASA, listened to some people really excited about space and the history of space exploration, and what do you know, I was enthralled.

I’ve always really loved space, and stars, and that movie Apollo 13 with Tom Hanks in it, but I’d never really gotten a full understanding of what the “Space Race” really meant, against the Russians and everything. 1960’s America poured literally everything in to go to the moon, spending what would have been trillions today to make that 1969 moonwalk happen.

A few people died to do this because space travel is dangerous, and I was low key going to put Jason in Apollo 1, which, ahem, was the one that suffocated it’s crew due to a fire that broke out in the capsule one the landing pad – the fire was put out quickly I believe, but because the Velcro in there had melted, the fumes made the air toxic – but I didn’t really want to do that just because we all know Jason dies.

So I decided to put Jason in Apollo 10 – Apollo 8 was a milestone in that it was the first time humans had orbited the moon, and Apollo 11 was the “Eagle has landed” (first man on the moon) and also too much of a milestone to touch by clumsily inserting in DC characters. I’ve set this in like an alternate history very similar to our own, so Apollo 10 – the mission that was a trial run for walking on the moon – seemed like a good compromise. That’s why Tim’s saying “Don’t go into the [Lunar Module]” – not because they didn’t fill it with enough fuel to get back off the surface of the moon, but because they didn’t want any fame-happy astronauts walking on the moon (or being on the surface on the moon via the LM) before NASA was ready (what if something goes wrong?).

I think that also captures, to me, Tim – definitely willing to lie to the person he loves to keep them safe. Tim here is Capcom, capsule communication – I’m pretty sure I got his desk position correct. He would be the main guy in the astronauts ears throughout the mission (it’s easier to listen to one person giving you instructions that a roomful) – so he’s got his oracle-like role like fanon likes to have him – so that’s why he’s telling Jason he’s going to bring him home, because he’s going to be the one to lead them in what they need to do. NASA liked to have other astronauts as Capcom, mostly because they’d use the same ‘language’ and be understood easier as they’ve trained together, so I like the idea that Tim is probably slated for Apollo 12 in this AU.

(I wrote LEM on there for Lunar Module – I liked LEM because that’s how it’s pronounced, but wasn’t sure whether to keep it upper-case – LEM stands for Lunar Excursion Module, and I can’t think off the top of my head whether LEM was first, or LM was first in terms of terminology).

The other guy there is in the PR position, publicity or something. I’m not sure who it is, might just be some rando, but I put a blonde head there because I like Gar (Beastboy) and his aspiration to be an actor. 😊

Also, like the thing I’m most proud of in this mini comic is Jason’s right hand. He’s placed it on the console because he wants to casually lean, but he also really wanted to touch Tim but stopped himself just in time because what a scandal it would be if it were found out that one of America’s top hopes, an astronaut, were gay (again, I don’t know much about the climate with homophobia in 1960s so I’m just supposing). So Jason just is kind of flexing his hand in panels 2 and 3 waiting for the other guy to leave. Then the hand indicates that Jason’s stepping forward, he’s ready to reach out to Tim, but tentative at the same time. Tim isn’t shy at all, and comes straight up to place his hand on the Apollo 11 patch, thus giving Jay to confidence to finally pull Tim in, in such a public place.

Uh, yeah, this is set the night before Apollo 11 launch, May 18th 1969, honestly I have no idea what they would be doing to prepare for the launch the night before, so this was my best bet.

Most of the rest is that I just ran out of time for anything else – the consoles in the background should all have monitors and buttons and shading on them, but I didn’t draw them in my traditional-medium inking phase, and I literally spent 2 hours on word bubbles and 4 hours on photoshop washing and shading in the past two days so, I’m just happy it’s finished. : D (I’d done the sketching and inking for like 30 min bursts in like 2 weeks, back a month ago when I had tiiiiiiiime…..they still came out derpy though omg).

Also like to point out what a learning experience this was – I’ve done a few comic layouts before, but never cleaned them up to this extent, and it was so different cause I had to keep in mind Tumblr’s scrolling system – I didn’t want to put up a layout that was 8 panels in one picture and impossible to read, so I hadn’t ever done that before. Still not convinced I have great linking action or anything, but I am confident that it gets the point across. (Maybe not so confident considering the length of this ramble, but thank you so much if you’ve stuck with me this far XD).

#jaytimweek #jaytimweek2018 #Tim Drake #Jason Todd #myart #Space AU #Historical mission control #digital art #comic panels #mini comic #this took too long to write #why did I do that to myself #I did enjoy the drawing process though #I know all the positions are static and not all that great #but small steps to action scenes okay #spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace

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agentelmo · 7 years

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The X-Files MSR Analysis Series: Season 1 Episode 5

“Jersey Devil”

Previous episode analysis - 1x04 Conduit.

Ah yes, Jersey Devil. The episode about two strange human beings driven by ancient, hereditary traits to survive - one a sexually-territorial male who stays hidden from the world, and his mate, who, guided by reproductive needs, leaves the safety of her ‘tribe’ in an attempt to procreate.

Oh and there’s a couple neanderthals running around eating people, too.

What?

I love that the first line of my notes for this episode simply says: “Scully rocking the salmon and navy.”

She’s so beautiful in this episode - I mean, she’s beautiful in every episode - but she gets a few great wardrobe changes here and she looks so lovely. Although the final outfit she dons is a zinger.

My word. The 90′s, eh?

So we start with Scully arriving at the supposed basement office that clearly isn’t in the basement. Seriously, watch how they they walk out of the office and straight into the bullpen.

At first, I genuinely wondered if perhaps I’d not remember that they started in a normal office and get sent to the dungeons basement later (I last watched TXF over a decade ago guys, go easy on me) but a little Google research reveals that nope - this is simply a huge continuity error in this one episode. Weird!

So anyway, Scully arrives, and to her amusement, finds Mulder catching up on some essential reading, perusing the latest issue of a fine gentleman’s literary publication.

You know... he was reading a dirty titty mag for filthy manslags. “Marty” will definitely be calling that super hot line, later.

Scully can barely contain herself.

I like the way Scully is totally chill with Mulder and his porn; she never gives him a hard time about it. It’s an amusing aspect of Mulder’s character that’s mostly played for laughs - but the reality is he’s a man; he has needs and no one to satisfy them, (hands down ladies, no volunteers) despite the fact women do find him attractive.

I know, obvious statement is obvious.

But isn’t it true that one of the most unrealistic aspects of the X-Files is how celibate throughout the entire show he is? I mean, just look at the guy.

....

Uhh... I’m sorry, what were we talking about again?

Oh yeah.

I don’t care who calls him Spooky, if there’s a single guy at my place of work who is witty and intelligent and looks like that, I’m trying my luck. So where are all the single FBI ladies? (I swear to God I didn’t Photoshop that picture, by the way.)

I just always found it intriguing that a guy with what appears to be a moderately high sex drive, barely ever has sex even though he quite easily could. Remember season 6′s Dreamland I, Skinner’s secretary? Yeah... ‘nuff said.

I guess he just doesn’t have Morris Fletcher’s way with women?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he doesn’t get laid. It plays nicely into my theory that while Scully is around, Mulder rarely ever looks at another woman seriously - there are the odd few that he is physically attracted to, like Dr. Bambi Berenbaum from season 3′s War of the Coprophages, but it’s only a perfunctory interest - we never see these characters again.

The only women who ever pose a genuine threat to the MSR are Mulder’s old flames - so it’s Mulder briefly revisiting old feelings from a time before Scully. Otherwise, since meeting Scully, he’s never become romantically attached to someone new. Isn’t that interesting?

So why might he prefer to turn to porn? Well, all I’ll say is this - do you remember that in Dreamland I, after falling asleep watching porn the night before, Morris Fletcher’s wife tells Mulder he was mumbling something about “Scully” in his sleep. Yeah. I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks with that one.

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway... that was quite a tangent, wasn’t it. Man, who knew there was so much to analyse in a few seconds of Mulder looking at a copy of Hankypanky? Which, by the way, is the best name for a porn mag, ever.

It is relevant, I swear. Mulder’s sexual needs figure into the plot of this episode in a very indirect way.

No, really.

It’s really surprising to me just how much Scully smiles so far in season 1. She was so carefree back then, eh? Had no idea what she was in for. At this moment in time, she’s just a normal FBI agent working some weird cases with her sexy crackpot partner.

S1!Scully enjoys simple pleasures, like how in this scene she seems to get a kick out of bringing him a weird case that she knows will pique his interest. She enjoys holding court - she’s the one with the information and she likes to tantalise him with it. The UST is simmering nicely.

I love the way her face tracks his, begging for his attention. And he responds with a bit of casual, flirtatious innuendo - she loves this little game they play with each other as much as he does, look a her. I wish she would get lucky, Mulder. HINT HINT.

For some reason she seems especially radiant and lovely in this episode. I already mentioned this, didn’t I. But seriously, let’s all bask in the glow of how stunning she is - she’s like a cross between Princess Diana and a 50′s pin up.

Don’t you think? Is it just me?

Ahem... so moving along, they head on over to Atlantic City to see what this weird man-eating case is all about, and run into an immediate roadblock when the local detective gets all territorial with his jurisdiction over the case.

Put a pin in this scene in your mind - human behaviour is under the microscope in this episode, and this detective guy is demonstrating some classic traits that are discussed in more depth later.

I love that when she means business and wants Mulder to stop what he’s doing and listen to her, she calls him Agent Mulder.

Oh please, don’t give me fanfic ideas, because I can’t write fanfic for the life of me, but someone, somewhere, must have written a fic where they call each other Agent Mulder and Agent Scully in bed, right? Someone PM me that shit.

So they leave and Scully is still in flirty tete-a-tete mode as they venture outside.

Fuck, that man has a beautiful smile. He really needs to smile like that more often. It makes me giddy that Scully can make him smile and laugh so easily, especially considering what they just went through together in Conduit. They’re so good together even at this early stage, it makes my heart hurt that it takes them 7 years to get their shit together.

Also, Scully’s comment about the Jersey Devil is another, more flippant, example of how she low-key reads Mulder’s mind regarding his theories on a case. She’s joking about the murderer being the Jersey Devil, but that’s exactly what he suspects.

I really am enjoying watching all of the regular dynamics of their later relationship play out for the first time in season 1. Its’s so much fun.

Mulder, you realise you’re flirting right now, don’t you? Come on, now...

Look at her smiling back at him as he attempts to seduce her with the fantasy of what sounds suspiciously like a date; where they grab a hotel together *insert raised eyebrow here* and then go take in the sights and sounds of Atlantic City.

He’s messing with her, of course, he just wants to focus on the case, but he enjoys the back and fourth and know she enjoys it too. They have an unspoken understanding, and, in moments like these, they really do exist in a world of their own together.

Of course, he doesn’t at all expect what comes next.

I cannot express enough how much I love how Mulder completely deflates when he says “you got a date?”

I also love that a date is his immediate assumption - he says it so quick it’s out of his mouth before he even thinks. Is this something he’s been worried about coming between them at some point? I’d say so.

He is well aware that she is a beautiful, intelligent woman, so of course she was bound to inevitably do what beautiful, intelligent women do - go on dates - have a personal life. He probably didn’t want to have to acknowledge, that at some point, their little bubble was going to burst. His deflated response is probably a reaction to thinking that time is now.

So would it be fair to say that Mulder is a little bit threatened by the idea that Scully wants a life that would take her away from him and their their work together. Yes, definitely. But I do think he’s willing to admit that to himself? Definitely not.

Even after learning she’s not going on a date, he remains deflated. Their sparky, fun, UST-laden tooing and froing has been snuffed out, and Mulder unceremoniously throws the keys over to her in defeat. He knows it’s not fair of him to punish her for having a life, but he kinda does anyway, since he ditches her to investigate alone.

Poor S1!Scully is just starting to learn here, that Mulder can be an inconsiderate dick sometimes. Or as she’ll put it later - a jerk.

It’s a flaw of his character, which I guess gives him some depth and makes him more real.

But mostly, it just makes him a dick. A beautiful dick, but a dick all the same.

Wait, hang on... that didn’t come out right.

Unfortunately for Scully, leaving her to make a 3 hour drive, alone, after he was the one to make her come all the way out here in the first place, is the least of his future transgressions.

So lets enjoy his suffering a bit more, shall we? Just look at his face when he hears she can’t spend the weekend with him fart-arsing around Atlantic City looking for cannibal cave men.

Dude… seriously, stop pretending - we know you don’t like it when the real world takes Dana Scully away from you.

Now we come to a scene that, only with 9 years of hindsight, becomes equal parts devastating, bittersweet and omg-squee-shippy-tastic!

Let’s break it down.

So first, Scully with children. She’s a natural at it - attentive, loving, affectionate. The little hug she gives the boy at the end; I can’t even--she would have been such a great mother.

Would have been.

That’s the kicker, isn’t it. Poor S1!Scully is completely oblivious to the fate that awaits her. Our foreknowledge of future events makes these scenes painfully bittersweet now. Despite the fact she would have been wonderful at it, her one chance at motherhood slips away after only a single year with William. She never had, and now never will have, the chance to truly be a mother and raise a child of her own.

I’ll let that sit with you for a while.

Edit: Ahem, yeah so... this was written before My Struggle IV, obviously. As insane and unexpected as it seems, Mulder and Scully do have another child together making this point pretty much moot. But I’ll leave it in for, you know, historical record? lol!

Feels like a ton of bricks in the pit of my stomach just writing it. In my work I have counselled women who have had to come to terms with infertility, and what it means for them to be a childless. It’s an incredibly harrowing thing to accept for many of them, feeling incomplete; less of a woman; their bodies betraying them; denying them something they feel is rightfully theirs - and sadly what society tells them is the greatest contribution they could ever offer to the world - a body that can create life. It’s perhaps, with my experience of these women, that I now look at Scully in a way that I didn’t when I was a teenager; watching the X-Files the first time around.

It makes me appreciate her strength, and her selfless, unwavering, devotion to doing what she thinks is right, regardless of the cost to herself, in a whole new way.

But for S1!Scully, all this talk about motherhood amounts to is a distant thought that, one day, she’ll meet Mr. Right and will start a family of her own. Just like most of us assume, and never question, until it doesn’t happen.

Told you this would be devastating.

All hell is breaking loose at this party with only her and her friend to herd the gorilla-masked kiddies (another oblique reference to primitive human behaviour), but she’s enjoying herself despite it all.

Doesn’t it feel strange to see Scully with a close friend that isn’t Mulder? To see that she once had some small semblance of a life outside of him. It makes me really realise how much she gave up for him and for their work together. What motivates a person to do something like that? Just a passion for the work?

It’s also very unfamiliar to see that Scully once contemplated not becoming a mother. That actually, she felt she wasn’t cut out for it. Although perhaps this is merely a cover for how she really feels. We know from season 5′s Christmas Carol, that Scully has a fear of getting close to people, and tells Emily’s adoption officer that she avoided attachments before her cancer because she was scared of the pain of losing those she loved. We know this changes for her though, as Scully will be forced to painfully acknowledge, in that same episode, that she didn’t realise how much she wanted to be a mother until she couldn’t have it anymore.

Which makes sense when you realise that this scene here, in Jersey Devil, was probably one of very few times Scully considers, and actually tests out, whether she wants a life outside of her FBI career, before discovering she cannot conceive.

Scully’s friend, El, hitting the nail on the head. She would be a great mother, but she has to choose it. She has to decide what’s more important to her - career or family. It’s not something she’s seriously thought about until now.

Being told she doesn’t have a life definitely affects Scully too, she plays it off as a joke here, but we know her actions after this conversation betray her true feelings. She starts to wonder if her work with Mulder is overtaking her life, and that she doesn’t have much else outside of her career. It worries her enough into taking action to change things.

Ah and then it comes to this part of their conversation. The part that gets our little shipper hearts pumping.

You know what’s funny about this scene now? The fact they’re basically discussing finding a man to have a child with. Scully easily dismisses the idea of dating and having children with Mulder, but the irony is that this is now foreshadowing... because that’s exactly what happens.

7 years from now.

That’s some epic retroactive foreshadowing, right there.

But sticking with the present moment, what might Scully’s reason be for calling Mulder a jerk? Well what did he do to her earlier that day? The way he flirted with the idea of them spending some off-duty hours together in Atlantic City and then got weird when she said she had plans and ditched her when she couldn’t do what he wanted. That’s definitely a jerk move.

She quickly corrects herself, acknowledging that his behaviour earlier that day maybe doesn’t wholly represent who he is, but still, I enjoyed the fact she basically admits that his ditching her bothered her more than just being slightly inconvenienced. Hmm, I wonder why... eh, Scully?

Now, things start to get a bit more interesting. As I mentioned before, Scully played off the fact she has no life as a joke but she’s clearly conflicted on whether she’s okay with such a skewed work-life balance. She’s now questioning if she needs to spend more time away from work and start to build a life for herself. And then...as if the hands of fate reached in themselves...

A WILD DIVORCEE DAD APPEARS!

DIVORCEE DAD USES “CREEPER SMILE”.

IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE???!

Seriously, why does she go on a date with this guy, he looks like a total creeper. The way he’s like, hey, check me out being all fatherly with my I’m-single-and-ready-to-mingle smile. Ugh. Dana!

Back to Mulder now, working off a hot tip from a homeless HBO fan, he’s been hanging out like a hobo trying to catch a glimpse of this Jersey Devil.

Uh, I take it all back. Maybe it was for the best Scully didn’t tag along on this one.

Scully: What happened to ‘grabbing a hotel’, Mulder? Mulder: FBI cutbacks, Scully. Wanna share my blanket? Scully: ...

Can you imagine? Them sitting together, in the cold, huddled under a tiny blanket...

Hmm... wait, I’m changing my mind again.

Mulder sees a dark, human-like figure in an alleyway, but is blocked from pursing it because he is stopped and arrested by the police, due to their mistaking him for a drunk.

Mulder redefining the meaning of the phrase “hot mess”.

So I’ve seen enough American TV shows to know that when you get arrested you get one call, right? So Mulder’s one call - the one person he can rely on to help him out is.... *drum roll*

OMG! NO WAI! Much unexpected! Very shock!

So much sass. Mulder getting sassed by Scully is my favourite thing. Like, ever.

Methinks she’s enjoying getting some sweet, sweet, revenge on him for ditching her, too. Just a lil’ bit.

I love how he just smiles at the end, as if to say “alright, Scully. You win.”

Then, while shovelling his face with food, Mulder tries to convince Scully of what he saw in the alleyway.

Their usual back and forth ensues – Mulder puts forward a fantastic (albeit pretty on the nose) theory about what he saw in the alleyway. Scully runs the gamut of reasons why it might not be what he thinks it is, making Mulder work for his theory. Which is good on one hand, since it’s teaching him to be critical rather than willing to believe anything at the drop of a hat.

But on the other hand, he’s actually right. I think this dynamic would work better if he didn’t always guess pretty much exactly right all the freakin’ time. I think Mulder needs to get it wrong a bit more often to 1. humble him a tiny bit and 2. not make it always seem like Scully’s scepticism is just getting in the way.

As it stands, the main purpose Scully’s sceptical, scientific, approach serves is keeping her and Mulder out of danger. Without her pulling him back from the edge a lot of the time, I think he’d have got himself killed ages ago. Which we’ll get a live demonstration of later in this episode.

Mulder then extends the invitation once more, for Scully to join the hunt, and for them to investigate the case together.

Then the conversation turns veeeeeery interesting.

Scully catching Mulder off guard is another one of my favourite things. His surprised head snap gives me Cheshire Cat face.

She’s put her personal life above their work together twice now and, again, he does a piss poor job of hiding that he doesn’t like it.

But notice something here. When he thinks it’s another birthday party, he isn’t threatened. He doesn’t ask her to cancel, he’s seemingly unaffected - disappointed no doubt - but notice how quickly his attitude changes when she clarifies that, this time, it is a date.

First up... wow, Mulder. Can she cancel? That was bold.

He can definitely sense she’s withdrawing, and he’s beginning to feel territorial about it. As selfish as it might be, he wants their work and partnership to take precedence in her life, but she’s resisting.

Although, it only seems to bother him when it’s a date, apparently. HMMMMMM. Sooo... a kid’s birthday party is less threatening than a date.

I WONDER WHY.

Second... Ouch, Scully.

She’s clearly showing, once again, that her friend’s comment about not having a life got under her skin. Why do I think this? Well I’ve never thought of Scully as petty, but that below the belt comment about Mulder’s life was kinda petty. I think in some small part she is resentful towards Mulder for the current state of her social life - she’s allowed herself to get swept up in his hurricane these past few months and is now a tiny bit sensitive to the assumption that she should drop everything to go Jersey Devil hunting with him.

She’s trying to take back control and get out of this all-consuming bubble they’ve been living in.

Now the next scene is fucking gold. Here’s where everything should hopefully fall into place.

Scully takes Mulder to meet her old university professor in Maryland. Mulder is asking the Professor questions about the Jersey Devil and he explains to Mulder that the wild man myth is universal - almost every culture has one. It represents an apparent symbolic fear of man’s dual nature as creators and destroyers of life.

Look at Mulder... Naww.. tell me more, teach!

The Professor starts to talk about how humans have hereditary traits which make us tribal and aggressively territorial, driven by selfish sexual and reproductive drives which makes cooperation beyond our perceived ‘tribe’ extremely challenging.

Now think about that for a second – what has been going on with Mulder and Scully since the beginning of this episode.

First Mulder has been territorial with Scully; he wants her to himself – not to share her with the demands of a personal life. He wants her to be as dedicated to the X-Files as him, but is finding it difficult to accept that she wants to go off and exist outside the bubble of their partnership - outside their “tribe”.

He is also, on some subconscious level, driven sexually – because why the hell else would he petulantly accuse her of having a date the way he did? He’s not threatened by her spending time with friends, but he is threatened by her spending time with other men. Perhaps not consciously, but somewhere deep down, it bothers him that she would go on a date. Both a kids party and a date result in her spending less time with him, so why does a date, specifically, sting more?

I do feel like I need to reiterate here, that I don’t think Mulder is in love with Scully at this point. But he’s very attached to her, and seemingly, he doesn’t like to share.

Then we have Scully – who has spent a great deal of time this episode discussing her thoughts on becoming a mother, and deciding if she wants to prioritise finding a man and having a family over her career. She then accepts a date with a man based on these discussions – so here, Scully is being driven by her reproductive needs.

She is also driven sexually too though, I mean, we know she thinks of Mulder as being “cute”. So she has definitely acknowledged a sexual attraction to him - and well, who wouldn’t.

But also the shy smile she flashes the creeper divorcee dad suggests she finds him attractive too - she’s not wanting to start dating for the singular purpose of getting preggo, of course not. Like Marty and his Hankypanky mags, she has needs too.

Now, pop your head into Mulder’s kitchen for a sec guys, c’mon just a sec.

FORESHADOWING!

Well, maybe... that damn alien invasion is gonna happen some day. Right, Chris Carter?! RIGHT?!

The scene then transitions into referring to the Jersey Devil directly rather than a meta commentary on Mulder and Scully themselves, and I love that it was Scully’s intention for her old professor to talk some sense into Mulder, but instead Mulder gets the guy to admit that what he’s suggesting, about the Jersey Devil being a pre-historic human, is feasible in the realm of extreme possibility.

Scully, ever the scientist, can’t argue with that one.

As much as she wishes she could.

Later that evening, Mulder sits in the basement-not-basement office looking subdued, staring at evidence photos, twiddling his thumbs... bored. He really is useless without Scully.

Beautiful, beautiful Scully, on the other hand, is on her date looking OH SO NINETIES. But still, lovely.

And OH MY GOD. Divorcee dad is boring as fuck.

No one wants to hear how you fantasise about running people over with your car on a first date, Rob.

Now we could get meta-meta, and suggest that I myself, writing this analysis, am getting quite territorial over the MSR relationship and am threatened by this dude, and that’s why I mock him to pieces. But honestly, there’s just something about him that feels super disingenuous and needy... he screams “please replace my wife and be my son’s surrogate mother” to me.

I mean, they’re not even 30 minutes into their first date and the guy is asking Scully to go on family days out with his kid to the beach. Fuck off, mate... how about you woo me a bit first, yeah? Let me decide if I like you before saddling me with mothering your kid. Geez.

Then he drops a real clanger... which, well - to be fair - isn’t that big a deal to S1!Scully. But, knowing what’s to come, this comment is just unforgivable.

What a douche.

So let’s check in on Mulder again, what’s he up to during this torture.

Look at this lost puppy, slumped in his chair, staring at the clock. I bet he’s checked that clock every five minutes since 7:30.

Mulder... it’s only been 25 minutes. Get it together, man.

You can’t tell me he isn’t feeling shitty, thinking about her being out on a date. Why else would he be moping in his office, and staring at the clock on the wall? GETTING EXACTLY ZERO WORK DONE. I’m getting Chinga vibes, here.

I don’t think he even really understands why, but he hates this. He wants her there - he’s used to her presence now and he’s bizarrely at a loss without her there to focus him.

He then gets a call from the Park Ranger who tells him a body, that is possibly the pre-historic human they’ve been looking for, has turned up in the woods, and that it has been sent to the coroner’s office.

This gives Mulder the excuse he didn’t know he was waiting for to call Scully and try, once again, to pull her back into the bubble.

Look at how bored shitless she is. She’s waiting for you to rescue her. GO MULDER GO!

#SorryNotSorry

The next day Mulder and Scully go back to Atlantic City to inspect the body, but it’s not there to inspect. Mulder theorises that the male neanderthal might have had a female mate, and they go back to the location where Mulder spotted her previously to see if they can find her again.

As they search, Mulder muses about what this neanderthal woman might be like. He questions whether she’s that different from Scully and himself.

Which is exactly the point of this episode - the fact that the two of them are also driven by ancient hereditary instincts. The same way the neanderthal woman and her mate were. Mulder and Scully’s personal life subplot reflect how the modern world has changed how we act on these instincts; but that ultimately we all want the same things. Mulder wonders out-loud whether she feels emotion, or does she just live on instinct - spending her days looking for food. To which, Scully replies...

I don’t know why, but I love that Scully knows how to make Mulder laugh.

Then just when we were starting to enjoy their being together, working as one again, Mulder goes and rushes off without Scully.

She calls to him several times, and he ignores her and then parkours his way to freedom.

Mulder and Scully: SYNCHRONISED PARKOUR MASTERS! Although Scully does it in heels, so she wins.

Mulder is cornered by the neanderthal woman, which he should have seen coming, really, these guys do hunt and eat people, right?

She knocks him down and looms over him. He basically looks like a 16 year-old boy who has never touched a girl before. It’s kind of adorable seeing him pinned to the floor by a naked woman with a look of terror on his face.

Be gentle with me, please.

Never mind.

Scully arrives, just in time, to save Mulder. Get used to that, Scully.

They then head out into the forest, to find neanderthal lady before Detective ThisTownAin’tBigEnoughForBothOfUs hunts her down with his SWAT team and kills her.

Sadly, that’s exactly what happens. They gun her down before Mulder and Scully are able to intervene.

Mulder is devastated. In no small part due to the fact that she’s a woman, alone, vulnerable - hunted. She ticks all the boxes to mess with Mulder’s head and trigger his need to rescue.

Mulder seems quite emotional as he asks the detective why he killed her. The answer he gets doesn’t give him any relief, in fact, I think it only leads him to despair more. Searching the detectives eyes, not quite believing what he’s hearing.

Scully can see Mulder is on the edge; becoming too emotionally involved. So she does what only she can.

She steps in and speaks to him in their private language - where with just a look and a touch, she can bring him back to himself.

I love this aspect of their bond. It’s so subtle, but loaded with a quiet intimacy that’s always just below the surface. These two work best when they are in this bubble together - just the two of them. Every now and then, with just a small gesture, they forget everyone else and withdraw into their own private world.

A week later, back in the FBI not-really-basement, Scully, is telling Mulder about the autopsy results of the neanderthal woman, and gets frustrated as Mulder excitedly prepares to meet a colleague at the Smithsonian - throwing himself further into his work.

Clearly still feeling conflicted about how to balance her work life against her personal life, she tries to convince Mulder that, he too, needs to do some work in that area. But what she’s not understanding is that this is what Mulder does for himself - his work. When he said before that he has a life, this is what he meant. To him, this is living - it’s the life he chose and he’s not ashamed or embarrassed about it.

Mulder is a career non-conformist. He doesn’t work by the rules and he doesn’t live his life by the rules either.

It’s at this point Scully gets a call from creeper divorcee dad, offering her a night out at a Cirque du Soleil show.

Her complete and utter lack of interest in taking him up on his offer finally makes it click for her why Mulder would reject her offer of a day off, or to go get a beer.

Mulder has absolutely no interest in doing those things. They hold no value for him, and no enjoyment, in exactly the same way that she realises she has absolutely no interest in dating this guy, or going to see Cirque du Soleil with him and his freakin’ kid. Geez, man... stop it with the family days out. Someone buy this man a copy of Dating for Dummies.

This epiphany affects Scully deeply, as I think she realises in that moment that working with Mulder and being an FBI agent is the life that brings her the most fulfilment and excitement too. She never did want to date in the first place, it was a comment from her friend that made her question whether or not the way she lived her life was “okay”.

Now it seems she’s decided it is. She doesn’t care about conforming to what is expected of her anymore.

Reminds me of something Gibson Praise says about Scully in season 5′s The End.

I think she reaffirmed for herself, this attitude of not caring what people think, in this very episode. To be who she is, do what she wants and not give a flying monkey what anyone says.

So rolling it back a bit - when Scully gets the call from her divorcee date, Mulder answers the phone, and I’d say he is definitely aware of who it is by the way he walks out of the office without waiting for Scully.

He assumes she will not be coming with him because, well, she has a life now, right? She has more going on than just work and he has every reason to believe she would rather be doing other things with her time, especially after that speech she just gave begging him to take some time off. He thinks he’s got the message loud and clear - that she doesn’t feel the same way about their work as he does, and that this is how things are gonna be from now on.

It’s also a bit petulant of him, isn’t it? The way he storms off after giving her the phone perfectly illustrates that. Not to mention his dejected walk over to the requisition desk after he leaves the office. The way he sounds so defeated as he asks for a car.

So despite trying to be “okay” with it, Mulder is still feeling threatened by this guy encroaching on their partnership – I’m sure of it. The reason I feel so sure is that when Scully approaches him at the requisition desk, he straight away asks who it was on the phone.

Why is he interested? If he isn’t bothered then why ask? Mulder hasn’t shown any interest in her private life before. For the most part, these two never discuss their personal lives. At least, not at this stage.

Is the tension in this conversation not entirely palpable? He really doesn’t like it, does he. I still don’t think he has even realised why he doesn’t like it. The guy is an Oxford educated psychologist and profiler – if he looked at himself for 5 seconds he’d know why – which is probably why he doesn’t.

We don’t see this side to Mulder often, as the series progresses we tend to see this kind of thing more from Scully. To be fair, it’s usually because women fawning over Mulder just seem to keep popping up all over the place.

But I love seeing this. More jealous!Mulder, please. I’m dying to see season 11 for the Mulder vs. Skinner fight that is apparently over Scully. Not to mention it supposedly involving Skinner’s long harboured feelings for her. Fuck yes, please. Can we get some jealous!Mulder up in that, Mr. Carter?

“You gonna have dinner with him again?”

WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MULDER? HUH?

You notice how he perks up slightly after hearing she’s not going to see the guy again? You really need to hear the audio to notice it - but his voice changes.

Ohhh burn. Guess he didn’t like being told he doesn’t have a life, either, eh?

Every now and then Mulder lets slip the odd bitter comment, it’s something he’s doing right up until My Struggle I – revealing his true feelings through backhanded, sarcastic comments rather than outright saying what he feels.

You tell him, Scully.

Phew and that’s Jersey Devil done. Another freakin’ long one! I’m almost certain the next episode will be far shorter... much less MSR to work with. This episode was chock full of it. Next up... 1x06 - Shadows.

#the x files #xfiles #txf #txf gifs #favorite msr moments #msr #msr analysis #x files msr analysis series #mulder and scully #fox mulder #dana scully #david duchovny #gillian anderson #chris carter #jersey devil #txf 1x05

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