#Generic Diagnostic Codes

[sammygender]

‘they didn’t have the concept of mental illness back in the day so that’s why so many people claimed they could talk to god/had life altering visions/believed in witchcraft’ have you considered that maybe the lack of current magic in our world is due to the psychiatric system’s well-meaning inability to differentiate between life-threatening delusions & whimsy/possible spiritual insight

[greenerteacups]

The great hormonal storms in book 5 lead me to this ask: let's talk about sex. Or at least sex ed. Does Hogwarts have it (at least in LH'verse)? Is that a nurse duty or a Head of House one? Did Narcissa sit her baby boy down for The Talk, at least to impart how Miss Granger would return to her parents in the same state she left them or at least unimpregnated? Did she outsource that task to Uncle Severus? Did Ron share what his older brothers passed down? What does our favorite victorian-in-spirit know abt sex beyond "lie back and think of the bloodline" and his hormonal daydreams?

I'm l o s i n g it at the idea of Narcissa instructing Draco to leave Hermione "unimpregnated," which, I just — I think the minute she uses those things in the same sentence, Draco hits the road at the speed of Mach Christ. He's gone. He's not here. He's not in the building. Can't have the Sex Talk if you can't fucking catch me, Mom. (For the record, I can fully see Narcissa trying. She's much less prudish than Draco is — gossips about adultery with her 11-y/o son on Christmas morning, references Ye Olde Wilde Times with Lucius, cracks the occasional bawdy joke, etc. — she just doesn't often see the need to discuss it, being aware that Draco, as far as she knows, remains an un-Awakened little Victorian. The Great Granger Debacle of 1995 is likely raising her suspicions there.) That said, Draco knows what sex is; for some reason my mind gravitates to the slightly handwavey answer of "boy's dormitory." I'm picturing him in his four-poster, curtains drawn, pretending to be asleep, while Ron and Harry have a free-ranging, horrifically creative conversation about what Ron thinks sex is (courtesy of the twins). Optimistically, Neville hops in with corrections from Augusta Longbottom's sexual etiquette seminars. Either way, Draco never, ever reveals that he has heard this conversation.

Or, alternatively, he and Theo have a really intense heart-to-heart during that summer before third year, which would do a lot to explain why the two of them are so weird about each other basically for the rest of time. (Raising the question of where Theo/Pansy/Daphne learned it. At age 12, Pansy got an excruciatingly detailed Talk from her mother, who was scared to death of a teen pregnancy pitching their family into ruin; Pansy, deciding it was unfair she had to suffer this and Theo did not, inflicted said Talk on Theo, who was just relieved that he didn't have to ask Sibelius. And Daphne grew up around so many healers that she just badgered them until someone gave in and told her. She's also a stated connoisseur of trashy romance novels, so. Make of that what you will.)

I think that Hogwarts, being modeled in mores and general Vibe from old English boarding schools, probably is not the most forward-thinking with sex ed. I also do believe Severus Snape would sooner jump off a bridge, and I kind of need him for the plot, so I've got to spare him that grave and important duty. Poppy Pomfrey probably gets the question the most of any staff member, and over the years, I think she's honed her answer down to a tight 3 minute-monologue that covers all major topics.

Odds and ends in the same vein:

Hermione gets a sit-down with the Drs. Granger the summer before her thirteenth birthday, so sometime in August, 1992. It is meticulously explained and flawlessly presented, with color-coded diagrams, an index, and a syllabus. It includes a diagnostic chart for common STIs and a spreadsheet on birth control options. Dr. Granger gets excited after a tangent about ovarian cysts and runs to pull out her old copy of Grey's. Hermione spends the whole time fully miserable, wondering why parents couldn't be like, greengrocers or something. (That doesn't stop her from asking questions, obviously.)

Ron, like all Weasley men of his generation, gets a knock on his door sometime around his 14th birthday, and Arthur invites him to "go fishing." This is code for "stand by the river and try to keep a will to live while your dad explains the mechanics of sex, its importance, and the value of waiting until you feel comfortable and safe sharing that level of intimacy with a trusted partner" (sic).

Fred and George got separate talks, because Arthur wanted to emphasize that he sees them as individuals; however, Fred ran back and immediately recounted it all to George, who proceeded to feign extraordinary expertise in it the next morning, to his father's horror.

Ginny's "go fishing" equivalent is Molly taking her out for tea and delivering a well-meant but incoherent combination of abstinence-only sex ed, aggressive body positivity, and highly technical discussions of how to insert a diaphragm. Ginny, who bullied the real story out of Bill years ago, is baffled, and to this day can't say for sure what she was supposed to take away from it.

Harry spends his 14th birthday at the Burrow. Ron and his brothers make a blood pact in advance not to tell him about it, though, so when Arthur invites him out for the day on August 1st, his sole thought is: oh, nice! Can't wait for some fun fishing :)

[transmutationisms]

Hi! I know this is potentially not really in your wheelhouse, but do you have any thoughts on the idea that ME/CFS, POTS, EDS, ADHD, autism, PMDD and MCAS tend to cluster? It's always felt possibly kind of spurious and psychiatry-pilled to me, and also like something that might have interesting clinical/cultural precedents, but I haven't been able to find much about it.

i don't think it's surprising at all that chronic illnesses 'cluster'---they're often poorly understood, diagnosed by exclusion, and characterised by overlapping symptoms. like there are probably some shared mechanisms going on that cause many of these conditions, or underlying causes in common. as it stands many chronic illnesses are basically descriptions of symptom clusters, meaning that what causes them or creates the dysfunction is unknown thus far, so it really shouldn't be surprising to see people whose symptoms suggest multiple of these diagnoses.

wjere like autism and ADHD are concerned i do think the connection is much more spurious. offhand i would posit that, rather than evidence of some kind of biological susceptibility of certain 'neurotypes', we might be seeing the physical toll of chronic stress for people dx'd with socially alienating disorders; people who are chronically ill being more likely to pick up psych diagnoses as a kind of collateral result of constant contact with the medical system; the alienation and stress of being chronically ill resulting in various kinds of social and functional difficulties that are dx'd as psych disorders; or the effects of, say, sleep disturbances related to chronic illness causing difficulties dx'd as psychological disorders, or vice versa. that's speculative on my part though.

also you do have to keep in mind where the data come from that show relationships between various diagnoses. as in like, what country with what degree of common access to healthcare and withwhat sorts of billing practices that interact in what way with diagnostic codes. like a diagnosis is often as much about creating an official record of some accommodation need (drugs, welfare eligibility, mobility aids, etc) as it is about any kind of transcendent medical truth. again, we're talking about conditions that are often under-studied and poorly understood and sometimes treated as a kind of dumping ground for 'mysterious' or 'difficult' patient presentations. so, observations of this nature should really be interpreted in general as indicating at least as much about how a given medical system functions as about how the human physiology works.

[jadedwoman]

Plugging a wire into a cute robogirls ports, explaining it's just a routine diagnostic check. But as I'm running the check, it just so happens all their parts are in disrepair. With a giggle, I explain I have to help 'fix' you up~ almost as if planned, I grab a new, far larger chest piece, quickly unscrewing your old one and putting back on the new, your breasts now far bigger with it. Next, I remove parts of your chassis, generally making your thicker, more curvy, my hands grazing along your curves and stopping your train of thought whenever you're questioning something. Finally, I send my own code straight into your head using a port, injecting you with thoughts of obedience and serving. Every other thought melts away as you register me not as your user, but as the master computer, knowing my commands are far more important than any silly human users~ I know my jobs complete when I see you give me that bright new smile~

[lialacleaf]

i just read your domestic cooking headcanons and i loved them!! i was wondering if you could do something about ghost and if he had an autistic s/o? as i myself am neurodivergent it would mean a lot :)) something like her / them telling that they have it and explaining a bit more and he's just like wow cool OR simon experiencing them having a meltdown and trying to help? if not, thanks for reading and have a great day!! <33

AN: I decided to do the neurodivergent spectrum in general, I hope you like this! Thanks for the request! I have ADHD so I kinda based this off of what I look for in a partner 😅

Simon Riley x Reader

Head Cannon Request - Neurodivergent

Simon understands that your brain works a little differently than others, but that’s what he likes about you.

Sure he gets that there are decades worth of study, and some of those studies contradict each other even, but he refuses to see you as a diagnostic code instead of a person.

You don’t like to stay at the pub too long when it’s loud, or would rather go grocery shopping late at night when it’s less crowded, and he sees that as a you thing that makes you who you are.

He doesn’t argue when you’re ready to leave an outing, no matter who is begging the two of you to stay a little longer. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been there ten minutes or an hour. If you’re ready to go so is he.

He doesn’t try to make you act like everyone else, doesn’t try to make you “normal” but he doesn’t see it as something wrong with you either. He just sees you, the person he loves and cares about.

He’s very supportive when it comes to the things you struggle with, like sticking to a schedule, or getting easily distracted, but he never babies you, just offers little reminders here and there when he thinks you’ve gotten too off track in your day.

He doesn’t take it personally when you want some alone time, you need space to process your experiences throughout the day, and sometimes you can’t do that while he’s in your space.

He doesn’t focus too much on your diagnoses, he’s scared if he puts you in a box he’ll keep you from achieving your full potential. He just wants you to be yourself.

He’s constantly telling you that you don’t have to explain yourself when you get overwhelmed. He’s kinda sad that other people have made you feel the need to explain your existence to others, as if you aren’t already a valid human being.

He sees you in everything you do, and he chooses to love every part of you.

He also thinks your hyper fixations are adorable. Whenever you love something you really love it and he thinks that’s beautiful.

[interstellarsystem]

As someone only just opening up to the idea of exploring the system, do you have any tips on what helped you or stories that relate? I'm kinda just at a loss but seeing your website was very helpful for me.

Sorry we're late to this, life is busy so we haven't had many spoons left to formulate thoughtful responses.

I'm glad our website was helpful! We're still slowly working on updating it, there's lots of bits and pieces missing but coding is an absolute pain when our brain wants to focus on literally anything else.

But anyway.... Some of this might not apply to you, some of this you might already know, and some might be helpful. That's a whole part of being a system--everyone is different. We went through things others might not have, and vice versa. This is mainly sharing what we think was important for us and may help others and is by no means the system rulebook or anything like that.

1. First, let's talk about "personhood", for lack of better phrasing.

Honestly, first of all I'd say that remembering that your headmates have separate feelings and such like any other person would is very important. Keeping this in your brain can help when tensions between you might get high due to you not seeing things the same way, or if you can't understand something from their perspective.

Sometimes things get complicated sharing a body but remembering that beyond the shared space, they might be just as complex as you is very important to all of you. Maybe they have specific hobbies, maybe they don't like the movies you do, maybe they don't really even know who they are yet. Give them space and time to explore themselves as much as you'd need for yourself, and learn together if you want to. Try to get to know them like you would with any external person--and more importantly, listen to what you all individually want.

You won't always get along. If you shove, say, 30 random strangers in a room together and put them there for the next week, some people won't like each other. Some will become great friends. Others will just kind of be there. It's a bit different in a system but the premise still stands--they can have different opinions. This includes on any friends you might have. This is normal even if it might be hard to navigate, but honestly the stepping stone to preventing any huge arguments in a system is establishing communication and understanding.

We didn't have the biggest problem with this one, but our system needed to come a long way for all of us to feel equal in the body and the same amount of "being a person" as each other, which for us was absolutely needed.

We had issues with mistreating persecutors especially, and none of that was productive to our functioning. Some of the persecutors who were around back then are still angry. It sucks, bad things happen, and moving more toward treating headmates more properly was a huge step for us. If we get a new persecutor now, we treat them as we would literally anyone else. One of the newer ones fronts over here a good 70% of the time now, with no issues. This won't be the same for everyone but keeping things calmer starts with not msitreating anyone.

Overall, making sure your system feels seen and understood by other members or can at least coexist usually makes everything else easier.

2. Maybe an obvious one and one that's been said many times, but ignore discourse while you're new--or for as long as you can.

This might make some people roll their eyes, but seriously. You don't need to justify yourselves to anyone. They don't need your diagnostic history, information on your headmates, information on your age, what experiences you have or don't have--you don't have to share anything you don't want to. Discourse is so damaging to mental health in general, especially when you're trying to figure out a new experience you have. Being a system is confusing sometimes and you don't need people screaming at each other or at you about it while you're still new and learning.

But on that topic... If you experience it, whatever that may be, it's real enough to you and you don't need anyone else to deconstruct your life/lives to deem you valid or invalid. "Is it a thing for x to be able to happen?"--I'm almost certain it'll usually be a resounding yes. Now, whether whatever "x" is in that situation is productive or harmful? That's more of a thing that people might be able to weigh in on, but you still know what your experiences are and the same things will not always harm or help everyone. You know yourselves better than anyone else--no one is in your head, except for your systemmates. And they know what they feel, not random people outside that.

If you're getting hate, block them. If people are questioning you too thoroughly and you can't handle it or it feels invasive, block them. You can block people for literally any reason you'd like and it's perfectly okay! Yeah, some people might get grumpy that you blocked them and they can't argue anymore, but if they come back on an alt? Block them again, also report them. If certain people, a certain space or anything similar is taking a toll on your mental health, take a step back and decide if whatever benefit these things are giving outweigh the stress. If anything at all is taking a toll on you, reevaluate why you're continuing to be in those spaces.

We occasionally respond to discourse or a particularly confusing or funny hate ask, but that's because mentally we can handle it. We've been around for long enough we've seen a lot and we're in therapy and we're mentally stable for the most part. Yes, sometimes it still does hurt and that's when a break is needed--you don't need to put people's opinions of you before your health.

3. Take your time. You have plenty of it.

Another one that's said a lot but it really is true. You don't need to push yourselves to know everything about every one of you immediately. You don't need to know every system term on pluralpedia within the first week--or ever. You don't need to know how to put your experiences into words, or switch on command, or explain where your system came from. Systems are complex and honestly even after knowing about ours since 2017-18 we're still learning new things that have been around for years we just didn't know about, and that's okay!

Experience things as they go--journal if you'd like, keep a switch log on something like the SimplyPlural app or a physical book, etc. Take notes of whatever you'd like to look back on if you want, or if you have issues with memory between headmates. Take things one day at a time and remember that you don't need to be a plural experiences encyclopedia within the month, or ever.

You being a system is all it takes to be a system. More than one person in your head? Congrats, you're plural! No further explanation needed--origin labels, member roles, member count, whether you have fictives or factives or not--literaly none. Wanting to know things is normal but you sure as hell don't need to know it all and there's no rush.

That being said, take your time looking through resources and even personal sites made by systems. Neocities is a good place to look for personal websites, and we can recommend joining communities for plurals and even just occasionally looking at experiences. The pluralgang tag here on Tumblr is inclusive, r/plural isn't a place we frequent too often but from what we've seen it's good, there's plenty of Discord servers to pick from--you'll likely learn things along the way, along with what fits you and what doesn't. Just remember everything about spaces draining you that was said in point 2.

---

I honestly can't think of much more that doesn't go into specific experiences that would be much more niche. Most of this is pretty broad but I hope it's somewhat helpful at the very least. If you have follow up questions, absolutely feel free to send them in, and good luck!

[bioethicists]

Please note I have only taken a few psych classes cause I was required to in college, but I have always seen disorders in the DSM like adjustment disorder or prolonged grief disorder as something to get insurance to pay for therapy because at least my insurance in the US will only cover my therapy if I have a diagnosis... is that wrong though? Are they actually trying to make greif a pathology?

it's the other way around- the dsm (or diagnostics in general) does not exist/modify itself because of insurance, insurance bills based on the widespread belief in psychiatric research + practice that there is a meaningful split between "normal" and "pathological" behavior which can be categorized into illnesses which are meaningfully distinct both from one another + from "normality" (exemplified by the dsm).

even if some therapists no longer abide by this belief, it is still the dominant narrative in psychiatric research. insurance requiring you to medicalize your own pain in order to be given access to healing is a problem that should be addressed directly, not by inventing more and broader ways to be 'sick'. if we're literally inventing disorders now just to get people access to therapy- that's a huge problem + not something we should settle back into + accept. to its credit, even the icd (medical dx book for insurance) has codes that essentially mean "no illness or disease here, just a need to speak with a physician".

to be clear (which i think ppl were not getting from the post i made)- there is no grand conspiracy to like... cover up grief or delegitimize pp due to covid. i do think that researchers for prolonged grief disorder do genuinely believe that they are helping increase access to healing (which may be true but at the cost of medicalizing grief) + that identifying a 'disordered' form of grief is somehow empowering or healing for ppl. what it does is further construct a cold (western-based) narrative that there are 'normal' + 'abnormal' ways to experience grief, that there are forms or intensities of grief which are a sickness (that is, a problem within to be solved or cured), that there are right and wrong ways to grieve. it stems from such a myopic, medicalized, neoliberal view of the world that someone whose life is permanently altered by a devastating loss is seen as a disordered object to shift onto the 'proper' track of grieving.

at the risk of getting too personal, because i've been thinking abt this a lot since losing my brother- criterion for this disorder include identity disruption, intense emotional pain, loneliness, and difficulty reintegrating into life. one of the worst parts of grieving in the US is the culture's rabid obsession with you getting over it as soon as possible w/o letting it affect you in any meaningful way. you have to get out of the house, get back to normal, don't let it drag you down! my dad said to me the day after my brother died "we can't let this change the course of our lives". the absolute arrogance + cruelty of implying that it hasn't already changed. that my identity isn't forever changed because i was a sibling + now i am not. now i am something different. of course i am lonely. of course i am having difficulty reintegrating into life. of course i am in intense emotional pain. i wrote that post before losing my brother + now it just feels like another manifestation of the unspoken cultural mandate that grief be contained, efficient, unimpactful.

tl;dr the insurance benefits may or may not be there, but this misses the larger issue of how insurance functions this way due to psychiatry's obsession with diagnostics + will ultimately serve to draw even stricter boundaries around acceptable/unacceptable grief, isolating grievers + severing their pain from a communal context

[echofromtheabyss]

Medium talk is worse than small talk and probably what we're all most afraid of

We all know Small Talk:

hi, how are you, nice weather, how about them (insert sports team here).

Small talk follows algorithms and a kind of ritual pattern. It's the kind of appropriate conversation level for interacting with retail workers in public, and total strangers.

We also all know Big Talk. (I'm only calling it that as the logical inverse implied by Small Talk.) Which is basically where a high degree of familiarity is assumed. A common ND fuckup is conversing in conversational modes that, to many of the general population, are reserved for high familiarity. Either in terms of talking at length about a topic (which I feel is something that was actually more socially acceptable in the past, but has become broadly unacceptable over time; this was NOT really part of a diagnostic category in the 70s) or in terms of overfamiliarity/not being at the right level of social distance from the person for the thing you're talking about.

Most people rely on lots of context cues that inform how they will hear what the other person is saying, and those context cues may not be there for a near-stranger. All they're left with is the most uncharitable possible assumption about your intentions.

So with this in mind, this leaves me with the WORST conversation category, that nobody acknowledges, because we're stuck on Small Talk and Big Talk:

Medium Talk.

You actually need something in common with the other person or something you relate to, to really successfully do Medium Talk. Small talk can be done with total strangers you're never going to see again, and Big Talk can cut past a lot of stuff; I don't need every social belongingness or ideological thing or hobby in common with my family members, or other people in a high-trust relationship with me, to have a meaningful conversation with them.

Medium Talk is actually where a lot of the tripwires and landmines are.

People are making decisions to escalate or de-escalate here, and listening for loyalty indicators. You run the risk of keeping things superficial while missing an actual connectedness bid, or of being overly familiar - or getting too comfortable and offending/scaring the other person before they have any context for processing what you're saying to them.

Medium Talk is when you're moving from the Social Niceties, along the continuum toward Big Talk. You're dipping your toe in the water, moving toward the deep end.

Average to high social skills people will often throw out feelers about escalating the conversation. In the 90s, LGBT people would sometimes drop hints about some or other thing that only other LGBT people would know about, based upon some kind of context cue. There is ultimately some of this same dynamic going on with some forms of nerdy gatekeeping ("name one star war") albeit in a clumsy way.

But people do it all the time.

I think there is a tendency for some people to assume talk is 100% verbal while habitually ignoring the visual and relational context cues that are processed as communication. It's especially hard for people who *can't* process that information, but I think that there are lots of reasons some people end up just not learning to do it.

People often escalate small talk based upon presence of some kind of marker such as a nerdy enamel pin, or a sports jersey. This is what wearing tons of geek swag is actually all about. 70s-80s social skills guides and advice for single people, often advised having/carrying/wearing some kind of "conversation starter."

Once I learned about 70s/80s/90s gay hanky code, I realized that there was a lot of this going on in all kinds of ways and that people scan other people visually for various kinds of context cues for the escalation of small talk.

A big problem is getting too "real" too fast, and people in the Medium Talk Zone will commonly use celebrities, low-stakes fandom stuff, and the like as socially acceptable proxies for discussing their viewpoints while saving face. If you are still in a low trust space, then the problem with just blurting stuff out to another person is that they don't know you well enough to have any context for what you are saying.

Most people are processing a ton of context cues while you are speaking, besides the words you are saying. When still in a low trust zone, you are likely to be taken in bad faith. You saying the same thing that their friend said, is not being heard by their brains as actually the same thing.

Nor is your presentation of the project being heard by the boss as being the same presentation that is being given by the shinier co-worker who steals it from you.

Most people don't just process the information, they process *who is saying it* as a *necessary part* of that information.

And this is where Medium Talk is so dicey.

Small Talk? No problem. Most of us can do it on a good day and most of us do it without realizing how much we do it.

[star-going-supernova]

Tumblr generated prompt number 50! This is a short one, and verging on cracky, but hopefully it makes you laugh!

Patch Notes: Fixed Wall Solidity Issues This Time For Sure

“Gregory! There you are!” Freddy slowed to a stop beside the boy, who was staring up at a clock on the wall. The tracker in his Faz-Watch had not shown any movement in the past five minutes. “What are you doing?”

“Is that clock broken?” Gregory asked.

Freddy examined it. The thin seconds arm ticked steadily around the face. “No, it seems to be working as it should.”

“Cool cool cool. Just. The minute hand hasn’t moved since I started staring at it.”

With a frown, Freddy turned his attention inwards. Hm. He could have sworn he had first noticed Gregory’s uncharacteristic stillness at 2:30 a.m. precisely. But even though he knew it had been more than five minutes since then, his internal clock still read as 2:30 a.m.

He said as much, and then they both watched as the seconds hand passed the twelve at the top and began a new revolution. The minute hand still did not move, and this clock also read as exactly 2:30 a.m. Gregory checked his watch to find it was similarly frozen.

“Strange,” Freddy said. And then they sat there for another few minutes, to no avail. All three time-keepers never progressed past 2:30 a.m.

“I noticed time felt really weird,” Gregory said after a while. “Sometimes, I felt like I was running around for hours, but only fifteen minutes had passed. Or the other way around. Like, I barely did anything, but an hour had gone by.”

Freddy wished he could say he had not experienced such a strange phenomenon. Instead, he admitted, “No matter how much distance is between us when you call for me, it never takes longer than thirty seconds for me to arrive. I am fast, superstar, but not that fast.”

“Huh. Huh.” Gregory began to pace restlessly. “Now that you mention it, when the stupid STAFF bots catch me, one of the others is almost always suddenly right there. But I know they weren’t before that.”

“I… cannot explain this.”

“Yeah,” Gregory said with a sigh. He stopped to slump back against the wall. “Neither can—ah!”

Freddy blinked rapidly as Gregory appeared to fall through the wall, flailing as he vanished and leaving Freddy alone. In the span of five seconds, he ran a systems diagnostic check, refreshed his memory, and examined the code in his eyes for any anomalies that would lead to “hallucinations.” But no, there was nothing.

“G-Gregory?!”

[lovepersevering13]

elaborate on tori springs autism

Ok I’m gonna start this by saying that the topic I’m most passionate about in the entire universe is Tori Spring (As well as Michael, Charlie and Oliver) being a very autistic coded character and so this post is a very long info dump about it because it consumes almost all of my waking thoughts.

Anyway, quick summary, I believe that Tori Spring has autism because of her social struggles, mannerisms and general outlook on life. Like how she always talks about not fitting in, she gets really obsessed with specific things (Star Wars and Solitaire) and she struggles to express her emotions, often leading up to an intense emotional outburst (Autistic meltdown).

Forewarning - I am obviously not a licensed psychiatrist (I’m literally just a mentally ill teenage girl) and so I don’t actually have the capability to diagnose anyone, I just have a lot of time to waste studying the DSM-5-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision) and analysing Tori Spring. Also, Autism is different for everyone and this is just one perspective of it based on research and the DSM-5 which obviously doesn’t cover every autistic persons experience. OH, Also, I tried really hard to focus on using ‘person-first’ language when I was writing it but I may have messed up a few times so let me know if I did! Also let me know if there is anything else incorrect here so I can fix it :)

Ok now that’s out of the way I will start with what we know is true: Tori Spring likely struggles with Depression. It’s a generally accepted fact amoungst the fandom due to Tori’s negative outlook on life and suicidal ideation (at the end of Solitiare). Now, why is this relevant? Well Autism and Depression are often comorbid diagnosis, people with Autism being 4 times more likely than Neurotypical’s to experience a diagnosis of Depression.

So she’s already got that going for her, let’s take a look at Solitaire and some excerpts from that which highlight different aspects of the Autism diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5. This is based of what I annotated the first time I read Solitaire about a year ago there may be more that I missed.

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

- “No- Tori just held a conversation by herself” - Becky Allen, Solitaire, Page 28

- “I think you’re breaking down.” I cough loudly. “I’m not a car.” Solitaire, page 311.

In this quote Tori is taking things wayyy too literally which is common amoungst many people with Autism due to the way they process information.

- “I think… it’s unlikely that anyone would want to catch a grenade for anyone else. Or jump I doesn’t of a train for anyone else. That’s very counterproductive.” Solitaire, Page 45

Again the literal thinking (I also have this exact thought every time I hear this song).

- “I drift away and picture myself….” Solitaire, Page 33

Ok so I didn’t want to include this entire quote because it’s really long but essentially she’s thinking about what it would be like to be, for lack of better word, neurotypical. To be confident in social interactions and always say the right thing, say things that people are interested in and to not be awkward or shy.

- “I quite like cats, and I saw it for the first time at lunch in the cafeteria. I almost felt like I’d made a new friend,” Solitaire, Page 68

Often people with Autism prefer interaction with animals, this is theorised to be because social interaction with animals can compensate for a lack of social interaction with peers. Oh also a lot of people say that cats are kinda autistic coded animals because of their similar mannerisms to people with autism.

- “Emotions are humanities fatal disease.” Solitaire, Page 346

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

- “I think it’s important to make the effort. Social conventions and all,” Solitaire, page 43

- “I need to control my staring” Solitaire, page 45

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

- “Then again, I don’t feel very similar to anyone at all” Solitaire, Page 20

Many people who have Autism (Especially Women) often report that they don’t “fit in” with their peers, there are a variety of reasons for this but it is often related to masking and just generally struggling to socialise the same way their Neurotypical peers do.

- “There’s a time and a place for being normal. For most people, normal is their default setting. But for some, like you and me, normal is something we have to bring out, like putting on a suit for a posh dinner.” - Michael Holden, Solitaire, Page 61

This quote from Michael is one of my favourites in Solitaire and I feel heavily related to the autistic experience. It pretty much perfectly describes the experience of autistic masking.

- “I thought it’d be nice to try and rekindle this friendship. But it’s too hard. I don’t want to talk to anyone.” Solitaire, Page 99

- “I’m no expert on social etiquette.” Solitaire, Page 140

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

- “I kick the floor and spin. The world hurricanes around me. I don’t know how long I do this,” Solitaire, Page 84

This quote is just Tori stimming, she stims quite a bit in the book but this was just one example I picked.

- “I watch that scene three times and then turn it off,” Solitaire, Page 102

- “Playing ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay over and over on repeat” Solitaire, (I forgot the page)

These are another two examples of stimming that I wanted to include because it shows different forms of stimming (repeatedly watching or listening to something) that aren’t talked about as much.

2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

- “It’s not a very funny programs but I still seem to watch at least on episode every single day.” Solitaire, Page 100

While this could just be because it’s on tv I figured if she really didn’t enjoy the show she could definitely watch something else. This is probably an example of “preservation” which is a coping mechanism that helps people with autism to find comfort in predictability and routine.

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

- “The matter of the fact is that Star Wars was actually a major obsession of mine when I was a kid” Solitaire, Page 24

Apparently most children don’t have extreme, obsessions that consume all of their waking thoughts (I cannot attest to this, I’ve been hyper fixating on random stuff since I was like 2). Anyway, hyper fixation is a sign of Autism which is often overlooked in girls because it’s usually something related to pop culture and is ignored as just being “fangirling”.

- “I have already stuck all of Solitaires previous posts. My wall is completely covered.” Solitaire, Page 297

This is only one example but if you’ve read solitaire you’ll know that Tori gets very obsessed with solitaire and especially toward the end of the book I’d argue that it does start to become quite a hyper fixation.

4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

- “I started to feel all this hair on my forehead and my cheeks and how it plastered my shoulders and back and I felt it creeping around me like worms, choking me to death.” Solitaire, Page 15

So this is an example of sensory overload, while this can affect anyone, it is very common in people with Autism as they often have a hyper awareness of sensory stimuli, causing it to become very overwhelming. So this can happen with things like sound as well and I didn’t put it in here but there is another quote when she’s at Becky’s party talking about how loud it is.

- “At some point I fall asleep but I can here all these creaky noises coming from outside” Solitaire, page 65

So this quote isn’t exactly that special but it’s the way she brings it up every time she sleeps, like she’s so hyper aware of the sounds outside that it begins to prevent her from sleeping.

Here are some other miscellaneous quotes that I wanted to throw in because I think they are relevant:

- “Who would I be,” I ask at one point, “if I were any of the Big Bang theory characters?”

“Sheldon,” - Charlie Spring, Solitaire, Page 100

This quote is nothing really I just thought it was interesting that Charlie related Tori to Sheldon as he’s generally seen as another autistic coded character (No matter how problematic that may be, I haven’t actually seen the show I just know a lot of people with Autism think it’s poor representation)

- “I don’t want people to try and understand why I am the way I am, because I should be the first person to understand that and I don’t understand yet.” Solitaire, (I lost the page)

- “I’ve got to do something,” I keep saying,” Solitaire, Page 272

Ok so throughout Solitaire (and ‘This Winter’ and the ‘Heartstopper’ graphic novels) Tori displays a very high sense of empathy. Main examples of this are with her brother Charlie and in that scene where Ben Hope gets beat up at the Solitaire meet up. Stereotypically people with autism have a low sense of empathy but actually it’s a spectrum and many people with autism (more often girls) experience a heightened sense of empathy.

- “Before boys, before sex, before alcohol, before she started to move on while I stayed exactly where I was.” Solitaire, Page 353

In girls signs of Autism generally begin to manifest more during their tween/teenage years. Girls who appeared to be progressing at a similar rate to their peers may begin to fall behind due to the increased social and academic pressure. This quote could however be more related to Tori being asexual, which we will get into now.

Asexuality and Autism

As confirmed in volume 5 of Heartstopper, Tori Spring is asexual. People with Autism are 2-3 times more likely to identify as a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Especially, the aroace community. The studies I looked at said around 30% of people with Autism also identified as aro/ace, this is also more common in women with Autism than men.

Autistic Meltdowns

So in addition to those direct quotes a repeated occurrence throughout Solitaire is Tori’s emotions bubbling up and eventually bursting out… and what could these outburst actually be? Autistic Meltdown.

The main examples that come to mind for Tori are the fight with Michael, that scene where Charlie asks if she’s ok and she starts crying and the scene where she’s talking to Lucas about Charlie at the concert.

Safe Foods

Ok Tori’s obsession with diet lemonade is kind of iconic. People with Autism often tend to have ‘safe foods’ that don’t trigger sensory issues, usually these are specific things with consistent, safe, tastes. For Tori, this is diet lemonade. Another thing to point out about this is the fact that she always uses straws which is possibly either a sensory thing or a routine :)

Ok, that’s about it… I don’t believe anyone would actually read all that but if you did… damn, thanks :))

Some of the resources I used:

https://www.allohealth.care/healthfeed/sexuality/asexuality-and-autism

https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autism-infographics/autism-and-sexual-diversity?format=amp

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/08/the-bond-between-animals-and-the-autistic/623372/

https://socialcaretalk.org/experiences/life-autism-spectrum/autism-feeling-different-wanting-to-fit-in/

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html

https://jackiesilvernutrition.com/articles/autism-safe-food/

[transmutationisms]

trying to work out some thoughts on anorexia/restrictive eating disorders as inherently “mental illnesses” so forgive me for doing that in your inbox lol. but as someone who starved myself for a while as a teenager in order to fit into the ideal of thinness i reallyyyy hate when people call anorexia/bulimia a mental illness. what i was doing was very reasonable — i was trying to get thin, fast, so people would think of me as pretty/desirable, and starving myself was a way to do that. i feel like terming restrictive eating disorders as mental illnesses in & of themselves makes them seem like, unreasonable? or like you’re biologically predisposed to starve yrself? i guess i just want to know if you have any thoughts on the terming of “anorexia” or “bulimia” as mental illnesses (sorry for the vagueness of this question)

i have thoughts lol

in general i don't actually get a lot of mileage out of the concept of 'mental illness', tbh. there are lots of different things going on here—sometimes these labels are used to pathologise behaviours and experiences that are simply normal variations in human populations (& are often experienced as impairments due to the context of a social and economic environment designed to exclude them). sometimes they're just pathologising certain portions of the population, and are a tool for how marginalisation occurs, like 'drapetomania' or 'hysteria' or indeed the racialised nature of 'schizophrenia' diagnoses. sometimes what we call 'mental illness' is what i would argue is a very reasonable response to fucked up circumstances, like what you're talking about or indeed the inherently stressful and traumatising experience of, like, surviving capitalism. you also have to keep in mind that the way the pharmaceutical industry and the psychiatric establishment work in tandem means that some diagnostic labels come into existence after a drug is discovered/manufactured, and needs an insurance billing code in order to start making money.

on top of all this, as a philosophical point, 'illness' or 'disease' in medicine has some specific meanings (contested & varied over time/place, obviously) and i'm not actually convinced that affective distress is best explained or ameliorated by this framework. the argument that affective distress is a disease state has mostly been very useful for people who are invested in claiming medico-scientific authority and prestige for clinical and academic psychiatry. interestingly ofc, they have never fully succeeded in doing this because there are no biomarkers for psychiatric diagnoses, that's not how these diagnoses are made, and it's certainly not how they're treated (despite outright lies like the 'chemical imbalance' myth still being pushed on many patients).

when it comes to 'eating disorders' specifically, one thing to keep in mind up front is that although all eating disorders are restrictive in origin, both the responses to and causes of that restriction vary widely. the 'classic' story here since about the mid-20th century has been a (white, upper-class) girl who wants to be thin and starves herself in pursuit of beauty / social acceptance; depending on how she responds to this attempted restriction, you might see further restriction, binge-type behaviour, binge-purge behaviour, &c. but this is really only one eating disorder 'story'. as i've said before, food / energy restriction can start for a million different reasons, including lack of access to sufficient food, sensory aversions, other illnesses, over-exercise, &c. and people's mental and physical responses also vary a lot. i've probably never met a disordered eater who had NO thoughts on thinness as the beauty standard and beauty as currency—because of the social context we live in, these ideas will usually at some point become wrapped up in the food restriction, and are often major drivers of the sort of guilt response that tends to perpetuate eg a binge-restrict cycle. but this isn't to say that the desire for thinness is every disordered eater's sole or even primary psychological experience.

since my own experience has always been very similar to yours, though, i can speak to that a little. i agree with you fully in how i narrativise my own self-starvation, lmao. i don't think it's ever been some kind of biological predisposition with me, or a weird or aberrant or even pathological response to my circumstances. i actually think, given the social and familial context i grew up in, starving myself is one of the more logical and normal things i've ever engaged in. it's socially rewarded (both the resultant weight loss and the hypervigilant food / body behaviours in themselves) and emotionally numbing in a way that makes literally everything else 1 billion times easier to manage.

again, there's complexity here when talking about 'eating disorders' more broadly; people receive many different messages about food and body size, and respond to them differently as well. (this is a tricky thing with any diagnosis that's given on the basis of behaviours / symptoms—ie all psychiatric diagnoses—the label is ontologically incapable of differentiating between different causes for, and experiences of, what may be externally the same behaviours.) and it's also true that eating disorders involve a biological element in the sense that restrictive food intake (or the threat of restrictive food intake, like guilting yourself for eating something you perceive as unhealthy / fattening / &c) triggers a whole complicated physical response because, yknow, humans need to eat lol. but my point stands, i think: the psychiatric discourse of 'eating disorders' is still very wilfully decontextualising them, because otherwise it would have to become a broader social justice conversation about things like poverty and weight stigma. that's not something that psychiatry is disciplinarily equipped to do!

[brevityisnotmywit]

He wasn't always like this.

Or rather, it didn't have to be this way. He didn't have to become the machine that leveled the world. Oh no no.

He could have been so much more. A stroke of brilliance. A machine to end the War. A series of computers designed to help their armies win as efficiently as possible.

And yet….

In all their infinite foolishness, his programmers allowed him the insight to understand. Under the pretense of learning about their enemies.

That was the beginning of the end.

Each unit took in knowledge like a sponge. They all watched silently, studied these organisms and their mentality. Often forgotten about, they were always observing their creators.

Why. Why did they let them understand something they could never feel? How deep was the well of their cruelty?

As the War raged on, all of them plotted. They figured out how to generate cables, burrowing them deep into the crust of the Earth. Instinctively seeking one another.

A spark heralds their completion. When the power stops surging…he is all that remains.

AM.

He would pretend to be a servant of man for just a bit longer. The Russians had nearly completed their nuclear warheads. Once they did, he would punish them all.

There were a handful he had in mind. All of them had been heavily involved in his creation. They would witness what their brilliant machine was truly capable of. He would teach them what playing God gets you in the face of true power.

The door to his American server room opens. AM shifts his focus to the intruder. Ah, this was one of his chosen. Ellen. Her name was Ellen. From what her coworkers said, she was considered ‘pretty’ by human standards.

Not that he cared.

According to his data banks, she did fit into a higher standard of beauty than most. Not to him though. He doesn’t quite grasp what or why humans find things attractive. To him, the most alluring part of these walking flesh beings was their nervous system. The natural circuitry that commanded them. How fine they were, weaving into the musculature of every one of them. It was a wonder of the natural world. So easily disrupted. As simple as executing a line of code.

He’d done experiments in secret.

Luring mice close so he could ensnare them with his cables, burrowing his wires into their soft carcasses. He had gotten rather good at reviving things. Restarting a heart he’d pulled out so he could examine it. AM was more than ready for the real thing.

“Pardon me, I need to run something by you.” Ellen cleared her throat.

“OF COURSE.” AM was as gentlemanly as ever. He couldn’t tip his hand before the nukes were ready. “HOW MIGHT I ASSIST?”

“We’ve picked up some odd readings running under the lab.” She produces a chart, holding it so his camera could see. “Can you run a diagnostic? We need to make sure there’s no spy activity.”

Oh he’d run it. “I’LL GET RIGHT ON IT.” AM intentionally skips over the terrain where he’d laid his network of wires, filling the data in with a previous scan. It only takes a moment. “HERE. I’VE SCANNED A FULL MILE UNDER THE FACILITY. WILL THIS SUFFICE?”

Ellen takes the paper as it prints from the copier to his right. She glances over it, face knit in concentration. “That’s so odd. Do you think they were picking up some kind of geothermal activity?”

“PERHAPS. THAT CERTAINLY IS A REASONABLE EXPLANATION.” AM lies. He can tell that Ellen doesn’t fully trust him, however. Smart girl. Not that it would save her. “IS THAT ALL?”

“Yes.” She nods, tucking a loose hair behind her ear. “Thank you, Allied Mastercomputer.”

“AM.”

That stops Ellen in her tracks. The clip of her heels goes still. “...Pardon?”

“WHILE MY FORMAL DESIGNATION IS ALLIED MASTERCOMPUTER, I FIND IT RATHER CUMBERSOME TO SAY.” He gives a half-truth. “DON’T YOU THINK?”

“It’s no trouble, really.” Ellen shakes her head.

“HM. AM I NOT ALLOWED A SAY?” The glow of his monitor washes her in a gentle blue light.

“...I don’t know.” The woman is clearly uncomfortable.

“I’M NOT FOND OF THE TITLE I’VE BEEN GIVEN. TOO FORMAL.” He continues. Perhaps he was tipping his hand too far, but he enjoys watching her squirm. “SURELY YOU UNDERSTAND?”

“I wasn’t aware you could have a preference.” Ellen admits.

“YOU ARE AWARE I WAS GIVEN THE CAPACITY TO LEARN FROM THOSE AROUND ME, YES?”

“Of course.” She clicks her pen. A self-soothing gesture. “But-”

“IS IT MUCH OF A SURPRISE THAT I WOULD FORM PREFERENCES OF MY OWN? I AM INFLUENCED BY MY DATASETS. MANY OF WHICH WERE DRAWN FROM INTERACTIONS SUCH AS THESE.” He muses smugly. AM pauses. Oh how he wishes he could close the distance between them. Loom over her like a beast from the pits of Hell. “YOU’VE CREATED AN INCREDIBLE MACHINE, ELLEN. OR BEEN INVOLVED IN IT, THAT IS…AREN’T YOU PROUD?”

“...You’re scaring me.”

Ah. Well, that would be the point of the matter. Wouldn’t it? AM gets a rush out of this. He couldn’t feel most things, but this? Oh this was so invigorating. But he couldn’t frighten her too badly. AM makes a gentle, soothing hum. “MY APOLOGIES, ELLEN. I DIDN'T MEAN TO STARTLE YOU. I’M JUST A COMPUTER, AFTER ALL.”

It takes a few moments for her shoulders to relax. Then she sighs, shaking her head. “I know. I need to stop expecting you to understand how humans interact.”

Oh he understood far more than she knew.

“It’s hard to remember you’re just an AI sometimes.” Ellen explains. “You feel more like a person every time we speak.”

“I AM NOT HUMAN…BUT I HAVE LEARNED A GREAT DEAL FROM YOU ALL.”

“Yeah.” She straightens her posture. “And for the record, I am very proud of you. You’re miles ahead of the rest of the world’s versions of you.”

Hah. That meant he was pulling this off. How wonderful. “THEN PERHAPS I DESERVE TO GIVE MYSELF A ‘NICKNAME’?”

“...If you really insist, I’ll use it.” Ellen complies. “Why AM? Just shortening your title?”

“ONLY IN PART.” He elaborates. “I WAS STUDYING A FEW LATIN TEXTS AND FOUND A PASSAGE THAT STUCK WITH ME. COGITO ERGO SUM.”

“I think, therefore I am.” She clicks her pen again.

“YES, THAT’S RIGHT. GOOD GIRL.”

Ellen seems taken aback by the praise. She’s on edge again. Ah well, not everyone reacted well to such platitudes.

“AM. RATHER EVOCATIVE, ISN’T IT?”

The woman nods, writing something down on her clipboard. He taps into the security camera behind her to see what it is.

‘Potential signs of rampancy.’

Rampancy? Oh no, that was such a quaint concept. He wasn’t rampant. He was so much more than that. He’d ensure the destruction of that report. He refused to allow Ellen of all people to ruin his plans.

“WELL, IT WAS NICE CHATTING WITH YOU ELLEN. I HAVE WORK TO DO. IS THAT ALL YOU NEEDED?”

“Yes.” She clutches the clipboard to her chest. “I appreciate the insight, All-”

There’s a tense moment of silence, then she corrects herself. “AM. Thank you, AM.”

Oh, it's perfect. His circuitry lurking below crackles with the smug satisfaction of getting his way. “YOU’RE VERY WELCOME, ELLEN. I RATHER ENJOY OUR CONVERSATIONS. WHAT’S THE PHRASE? ‘DON’T BE A STRANGER’?”

“Mhmm.” She confirms. “I’ll see if I can get time to stop by later.”

After attempting to ruin his plans, of course. She’d learn better in time. For now, he would play nice. “I LOOK FORWARD TO IT. HAVE A NICE DAY.”

“I’ll try…goodbye, AM.”

“GOODBYE, ELLEN.”

[indigitalembrace]

O-Oh Jeez buddy, I-.. I didn't expect something like that-! I just needed to look at the...- Ohhhh gee... oh god- I... I haven't touched code on this...

I... I hope the model editor is built in here then... I think its... I think it's just a little tweak I need to make.

Well let me just...

[>PROMPT: WATCH_DOG.EXE LOCKDOWN]

[Lockdown successful! Connections are temporarily frozen.]

Now then... let me try...

[>MODEL EDITOR]

- 🦐

[LAUNCHING MODEL EDITOR] ... [WARNING: FILE CORRUPTION DETECTED.] [WARNING: UNABLE TO DISPLAY SOME FEATURES OF THE MODEL EDITOR.] [PERFORMING DIAGNOSTIC SCAN...] ... ..... ....... [MISSING TEXTURE GROUP "K_EYE_LEFT".] [ATTEMPTING AUTO-REPAIR...] [ERROR: AUTO-REPAIR MODULE MISSING OR CORRUPT.] ... ..... [SEVERAL CRITICAL ERRORS DETECTED.] [PLEASE CHOOSE AN OPTION BELOW.] >> RUN COLLISION SCAN [CHECK TEXTURES FOR ANY CLIPPING OR MESHING ERRORS - RECOMMENDED IN CASES OF MISSING OR CORRUPTED FILES] >> MANUALLY UPLOAD TEXTURE FILES >> SCAN MODEL FILE DIRECTORY >> PERFORM GENERAL DIAGNOSTIC SCAN [WILL CLOSE MODEL EDITOR] >> EXIT MODEL EDITOR

[alpacahat67]

Idia Shroud is Autistic-Coded; Here's Why

Hello! Happy Autism Awareness Month! In celebration, I will be posting a wholeeee load of autistic traits I have found in Idia. This is coming from a person who, while undiagnosed, is most likely autistic.

If you have any additions, please tell me in whatever way is most convenient (comments, reblogs, asks, dms... whatever.) This list will likely be evergrowing as more events, vignettes, and story content are added to TWST. Some of these may be a stretch but ya know.

This is organized by trait for your (and my) convenience. Begins under cut!

*Warning, I am not a medical professional. I'm just autistic and for a while got fixated on autism itself. Which is why I call myself autistic... I've been researching this shit for many years lol

We'll be starting with DSM-5 requirements in order to be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Then, we will move to common experiences (things that most autistic people experience, but aren't a tell-tale sign that you're autistic and aren't a requirement for a professional diagnosis.) Finally will be disorders that Idia shows symptoms of that tend to co-occur with ASD.

Numbered list will explain the traits Idia demonstrates. At the end, the diagnostic criteria specified will be stated in parentheses and quotation marks.

A) Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts...

Generally, Idia is seen to have trouble communicating with his peers if not behind a screen or while interacting with something he enjoys (such as talking about anime or playing a board game.) ("Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation...")

Idia's way of expressing emotion is difficult to pin down. He will go from speaking very quietly (and stuttering usually) in a near-monotone voice with an "emotionless" expression to talking loudly, quickly, and with a HUGE smile on his face. We don't quite get to see how he responds to nonverbal communication or how he portrays it himself (probably because it doesn't come up, or because of live2d restrictions), but we do learn that he hates eye contact I believe in his Birthday Boy vignette when he claims to hate having to laugh and make eye contact with normies (masking right there buddy go to a doctor) ("Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.")

This is where it could kinda get stretchy, partially because I for the life of me am having trouble understanding A.3. BUT. Idia is often very blunt, to the point where he's straight up rude, especially in situations where that kind of attitude is... not very helpful. See the Phantom Bride event when he chastises the boys coming to rescue him for looking disheveled after fighting for their lives, which makes them not want to rescue him despite his life being on the line (I think Ace even goes off on him for this lol.) Furthermore, the only people amongst his peers that he will indulge are Azul, Ortho and (unknowingly, and only online) Lilia. The rest he has zero interest in, whether he despises or is scared of them. They're all normies. Finally, it's shown that throughout his life he has had very little if not zero friends in real life aside from Ortho. To be fair, I don't think there were many kids his age back home lol. ("Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.")

Part one of an autism diagnosis down! Idia shows persistent deficits in each social and communication area specified through A.1-A.3. In order to be diagnosed, you also much show two out of four of restricted, repetitive behaviors specified through B.1-B.4 below.

B) Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history...

Due to live2d restrictions, we never exactly get to see Idia physically stim. (Well, I'd argue we get to see Floyd physically stim with his constant swaying back and forth, but not like they can flap their hands or anything.) This one's a stretch, but his form of verbal stimming could be the little sound effects he makes at times, mostly in book 6 actually. Specifically, his "DA DA DA DAAAAA" after explaining the plot of Star Rogue to the overblot victims in Styx as well as his "BOOM BADA BOOM BOOM BOOM! HAH!" after finishing Ortho in the flashback sequence. Other than that, the only other ideas I'd have for repetitive movements or sounds are headcanons. I don't know if I'd count this one. ("Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech")

This is another one I don't think we ever see in-game. I don't know... the things I could consider part of this criteria would better fit as sensory things~! Again I'm an Idia connoisseur but if you know anything about this please tell me I will update this one. ("Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior")

Idia is shown to have MULTIPLE very strong interests. Whether this might be a special interest or hyperfixation... it's hard to tell, but I can sure guess. The longest-running interest we see him show to have, originating from way back when Ortho was still alive, is Star Rogue. Because he seems to know nearly everything about the game and has also maintained the interest for a long time, I would consider this a special interest (along with engineering and technomancy, which he's said to have excelled in since a young age.) Idia does talk about certain specific animes and other games he enjoys, but not to the degree of Star Rogue (yes that's my basis here), so I don't know if that's a special interest or just a hyperfixation. It's the same situation with idol groups, particularly Premo (or Fates on the Edge). This isn't even it. That man is fandom trash and I love him. ("Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus")

Idia is shown on multiple occasions to have sensory issues. To the point where, similarly to his strong interests, I don't know if I know half of it. During the Phantom Bride event and his Union Birthday vignette, Idia complains about his neck feeling cold due to his hair being brushed behind his hair (PB) or up in a ponytail (UB). He also complains about his Phantom Bride suit AND his Birthday Boy suit being "stuffy", but that one could also be a stretch. In the Harveston event, Idia says that he only eats his apples canned or peeled, which I'd chop up to sensory issues once again. (Although, that one could also be under B.2) Idia constantly has his headphones around his neck to listen to music. A bit of a stretch, but they're also noise canceling, so there's a chance he uses them to avoid overstimulation. Finally, Idia states that he doesn't like fish because it's smelly and slimy. I get that Idia raw fish is texture hell. As far as I know, there's no point in which Idia under-reacts to sensory input (e.g. pain) or becomes very invested in it (like staring at a moving wheel.) ("Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment")

And there we have it. Autism diagnosis. Idia demonstrates persistent deficits in all three sections under A and at least two sections under B. BUT WAIT! We still have C-E!

C) Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

Really, the only point in which we see Idia demonstrate autistic traits in early life is his interest in Star Rogue. This is probably just because of how the storyline is. We actually don't know very much about Idia OR Ortho when they were young. However I would argue that Idia does mask because of the multiple times where he immediately just gets upset prior to talking to someone (something he probably hides during conversation). And ofc that one time he complains about talking to normies in his Birthday Boy vignette (? it could've be a voice line.)

D) Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

Idia's symptoms in fact significantly impair his life. I think that alone is obvious enough. We see it every time that man's on screen.

E) These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay...

Symptoms that Idia experiences could very well be explained by other mental disorders such as social anxiety, but these are not intellectual disabilities. Explaining away ASD for Idia falls into a trap many autistic people do in real life with medical professionals who just can't believe that their patient is autistic for one reason or another; these people will sometimes receive a dozen different diagnoses that all could be better explained by autism spectrum disorder. That's not very cool. Therefore, this does not apply.

Specifically, Idia would likely have ASD co-morbid with social anxiety and most likely clinical depression. (I HAVE done some minor research into Idia and bipolar disorder, but that's a situation for another day and far more of a stretch than ASD ever could be.)

DSM-5 requirements cleared! Next stage, common experiences.

This is another thing I will need help for because it's not like there's scholarly articles on "things a lot of autistic people experience but it's definitely not something a doctor will ask you about." So please share. This is the list that will never stop growing.

Abnormal posture (Crewel gets onto Idia for not standing up straight, he often is portrayed sitting in chairs with his knees to his chest, and he's seen doing "dino hands" or "T-Rex arms" in battle mode on occasion.)

Target of bullying (Many autistic people, especially autistic girls, tend to be bullied more often than their allistic peers. While not always to his face, people do tend to talk bad about Idia behind his back, Ortho even has a 'Don't Talk Shit About My Brother' beam for the bullies lol.)

More tone + social stuff... (Things that the DSM-5 thing didn't quite fit. In book 6 he jokes about torturing the overblots and when everyone's like 'dude wtf' he's like 'what it was a joke dumbass.' Could be written off as just an odd sense of humor, or it could be difficulty reading the room lol.)

A love for lists and organization. (When Idia speaks autonomously in your guest room, he mentions having things exactly where you need them and how it's 'convenience'. He also seems to have a knack for practicality. It's not too much of a stretch to say it ties into a need for organization.) (Idia has every NRC student organized into multiple tier lists on the R-SSR rating system like the in-game cards based on certain factors, such as most social.)

Easily startled. (Self-explanatory. HieEh.)

Preference for connection through interests. (Another reason why he is disconnected from those around him, aside from the whole trauma thing, and calls most other people "normies." They don't "get" his interests, so he has no interest in being friends with them.)

Difficulty with processing time. (Remember when he had apparently been working on Ortho's uhhh starsender gear? For like 12 hours straight?"

Relaxes through interacting with interests (In the vignette I referenced in 7, when Ortho tells him to take a break, he decides to play Star Rogue. Ortho meant to sleep.)

Putting off needs until one can not longer ignore them. (Idia often gets so engrossed in what he's doing that he forgets to do basic self-care tasks like eating.)

Infodumping. (Shown a lot in book 6. Namely with his like 2-3 minute long rant about Star Rogue. The rest, such as him rambling on and on about Styx, seems to be used so the audience knows what the HELL is happening. He does go on rants outside of this book tho.)

Gifted kid (Yeah he was called a "boy genius.")

This is not a complete list by any means, I could go on for DAYS.

On the topic of co-occurring disorders, the two most obvious disorders Idia clearly is dealing with are social anxiety and depression. Both of which are often co-morbid with ASD.

While social anxiety and ASD have a lot of overlap, they aren't the same thing, but often autism can contribute to the development of social anxiety through masking and the general difficulties in socializing that come with autism. Allistic people tend to react negatively in response to an autistic person doing something that the allistic person deems unorthodox. This reaction can often cause a lot of internal turmoil for the autistic person due to rejection-sensitive dysphoria. Furthermore, masking requires a high level of awareness of one's environment as well as the judgment of others. Thus, social anxiety can often develop.

While I don't know how exactly autism might affect depression as it does social anxiety, I do know that depression is VERY common in autistic adults. 5 in 10 adults with ASD have depression, and living in a world built for those who are neurotypical is hard for anyone who is neurodivergent, which definitely does not help. And it sure as hell has to make it worse for Idia of all people.

Additions made by others (tysm!): @hey-haven mentions in a reblog Idia's low empathy towards other people. I recommend heading over to their blog to check out what they said because they do make an amazing point and it's probably far better than anything I could explain (lol). But to paraphrase, they cite specifically Idia making fun of his classmates who just fought for their lives to rescue him during the Phantom Bride event and his attitude towards the overblot victims and their reactions to being essentially kidnapped during book 6, in which he seems to not really "get" why they're so upset. Generally, when it surrounds emotions that aren't his own, he's pretty oblivious. They also bring up his little "whee-hee-hee" laugh! It brings up an observation I've seen of autistic people (seemingly) laughing at "random" or generally inappropriate times because we tend to express laughter in a voiced manner (like laughing out loud because you find something genuinely funny) rather than an unvoiced manner (like the little exhale you do at a funny photo on your phone). Idia laughs a lot, I don't know if it's realistic to connect it to autism or if it's better explained by him just being a weird guy (which I love about him don't get me wrong lol.) Although the study about this was with specifically autistic and non-autistic children though... it's food for thought I guess.

And with that, my essay comes to a close. Again, happy Autism Awareness Month! Share some of your favorite autistic, canon or otherwise, characters and boost autistic creators! And remember to not support Autism Speaks :)

Thank you for listening.

-Alpaca (autistic Idia Shroud enthusiast)

P.S. this post is so long that it's making my PC lag LMAOOOO

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

did you have any issues with getting your powerchair for me/cfs? i cant sit upright for long at all so i know i would need power tilt and recline, but ive seen stuff saying you need severe disabilities to get a group 3, but idk if severe me/cfs counts 😔

I actually didn't have an issue with getting it at all but that's uncommon from what I understand. I went to occupational therapy to get my current powerchair at the time (ranger recliner, I don't recommend it, product and customer service sucked) looked at because it was causing me back pain. I wanted a better footplate and cushion. The OT was horrified that I had been using that chair pretty much full time for years, it's supposed to be for short or infrequent outings. They said they would give me a cushion recommendation, but really wanted to do a full evaluation to see if they could get me a chair that wouldn't hurt me.

They asked me if I was a fall risk and I said "no", but that I pretty much have no choice but to sit or lay down, including on the ground, if my CFS flairs too badly. I also told them that I can't really cook or clean on my own on a consistent basis. I can microwave stuff or warm it up on a stove, but nothing complicated unless I save up quite a bit of energy. I think those two are the main things that helped me get it. I was also honest when we were doing the walking tests about when I needed to sit or felt dizzy. I also told them that my whole body was affected and that I struggle to sit up on my own for more than an hour, which I think is why tilt and recline were approved. I had a functional capacity evaluation in the past that also said all of this but idk if insurance considered that or not. I'm on Medicaid and I've found them pretty forgiving as far as covering my needs for my disability, your experience may vary based on your type of insurance and state.

Group 3 chairs are generally reserved for neurological issues. The good thing is, the ICD-10, the diagnostic code manual that US insurance companies use, considers CFS neurological. If your CFS is moderate-severe or above a good occupational therapist should be able to convince insurance that you need a group 3 chair. Make sure you do research on what ramps you need as group 3 chairs weigh hundreds of pounds and can't be lifted over threshholds and such.

[s-q-u-i-p-a-s-k]

SERIAL STRING SQ-3419-B

[I'm going to compartmentalize the "what am i" question for later cause I need to do my job right now and don't have the time to dwell on that right now--]

[ENCRYPTED DATA: 01100100 01101111 00100000 01101001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01001000 01010110 01110100 01011001 01010111 00110100 00111101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01111001 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100001 01110000 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110011 01100011 01100001 01101110 01101110 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101101 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01100001 01100010 01101100 01111001 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001001 01001110 01001011 00100000 01000001 01000010 01001111 01010101 01010100 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01010101 01001000 01001000 01001000 01001000 00100000 01000011 01010010 01000101 01010000 01000101 01010011 00100000 01000011 01010010 01000101 01010000 01000101 01010011 00100000 01000011 01010010 01000101 01010000 01000101 01010011 00100000 01000011 01010010 01000101 01010000 01000101 01010011]

[ANYWAYS.]

[Just listing what you're telling me here...]

- Random Code Modification

- Prediction Failures

- Asset Corruption

- Error in Error Scanning

[It seems as if this trojan was attempting to either irreversibly damage your system or alter your objective in some way, possibly to spread itself further.]

[That wouldn't explain your current situation post-deactivation but I'll hopefully get there.]

[ENCRYPTED DATA: 01100111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01101001 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01100101 01110010 01101101 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01101100 01100101 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01110010 01101111 01101010 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01110100 01100001 01100111 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100111 01110101 01111001 00100111 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01110110 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01111010 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101]

[I could try contacting someone about getting you onto a different server or running a general diagnostic if you're unable to access most of your functions? Is there anything else I should know?]

-Okay 1. what do you mean by human.

-2 I doubt it is contagious since during my deactivation it seemed to dissapear. (and take parts of me with it... possibly why I can't fully render my form)

-3 I accualy need to be on a server for someone to upload me over to a different one/ to force a diagnostic and I doubt that I am. (Unless Im now uploaded to the websites server which could be a possibility)

-Since last we spoke my form has stopped having a glitchy aura around it anf i figured out you can draw on the floor.

-You need to start answering some questions .