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andrewmoocow · 1 year

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Little Homeworld Life chapter 26: Hostile Takeover (originally posted on June 19, 2023)

AN: It has all come to this. The end begins here. The final episode of Little Homeworld Life is here at last, and after that will be Steven Universe: Snake Eyes. It has been an honor delivering such consistent quality writing to this fandom, and I'll be damned if I don't enjoy doing it again one last time before I finally decide to move onto other stories I've left to dry for too long.

Synopsis: Connie returns home from college just as Black Rutile takes over Little Homeworld and holds the Crystal Gems captive. With their alien friends in danger, the people of Beach City decide to repay the Crystal Gems by joining together to save them from Black Rutile.

Cast:

Grace Rolek as Connie

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Skinny Jasper, Carnelian, Superfan Rose, Hippie Rose, Shy Rose, Cherry Quartz, Biggs Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Martha Higerada as Topaz

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Doc, Navy, Leggy, Army

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald, Chest Emerald

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid, Eyeball Demantoid

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Jon Wurster as Marty

Shanelle Grey as Sally Grove

Larissa Gallagher as Bluebird Azurite

May Calamawy as Chrome Chalcedony

Susanne Blakeslee as Pietersite

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Famethyst, Tiger's Eye

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl, Volleyball, Black Pearl Brigade

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli, Phoenix Lapis

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Dee Bradley Baker as Lion, Concretes

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Matthew Moy as Lars, Dante

Kate Micucci as Sadie

Indya Moore as Shep

Enuka Okuma as Rhodonite

Kathleen Fisher as Fluorite

Ashly Burch as Rutile Twins

Erica Luttrell as Padparadscha Sapphire

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Priyanka

Crispin Freeman as Doug

Andrew Kishino as Kevin

Reagan Gomez Preston as Jenny, Kiki

Godfrey as Kofi

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Brian Posehn as Sour Cream

Lamar Abrams as Buck Dewey

Colton Dunn as Mr. Smiley

Toks Olagundoye as Mayor Nanafua

Joel Hodgson as Bill Dewey

Eugene Cordero as Jamie

Atticus Shaffer as Peedee

Billy Merritt as Mr. Fryman

Kristin Chenoweth as Sheena Synstylae

Nancy Linari as Martha

Brian George as Mr. Frowney

Jackie Buscarino as Vidalia

Aparna Nancherla as Nephrite, Lemon Jade

Ian Jones Quartey as Snowflake Obsidian, Bixbite

Michelle Maryk as Larimar

Auli'i Cravalho as Orange Spodumene

Kimiko Glenn as Blue Chalcedony

Tara Platt as Heaven Cubic Zirconia, Earth Cubic Zirconia

Tara Strong as Grossular Diopside

Phillipa Soo as Chrysocolla

Anika Noni Rose as Watermelon Tourmaline (fusion), Watermelon Tourmaline

Aimee Carrero as Moonstone

Gal Gadot as Desert Glass

Willa Holland as Albite

Maddie Ziegler as Serpentine

Courtenay Taylor as Beryl

Sarah Jessica Parker as Dumortierite

Cavetown as Diaspore

Emily King as Kunzite

Alex Newell as Monazite

Alyson Hannigan as Lavenderine

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Gina Torres as Andesine

Awkwafina as Kyanite

Allison Janney as Pyrite

Zehra Fazal as Zoisite

Lena Hall as Bloodstone

Jodie Whittaker as Xenotime

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Sarah Stiles as Spinel

Christine Baranski as Hessonite

Olivia Olson as Citrine, Citrine Twins

Lin-Manuel Miranda as President Eduardo Suarez

Wendie Malick as Vice President Theresa Maxwell

GZA as Major General Wade Grant

Tim Curry as General Lloyd Waller

John Kassir as Reginald Johnson

Stephanie Beatriz as Arleen Suarez

Xolo Mariduena as Huey Suarez

Leslie Grace as Riley Suarez

Pierce Brosnan as Bane Jones

Hugh Jackman as Beckham Jordan

James Monroe Iglehart as Coach Matt Monroe

Karen Fukuhara as Makoto Fuji

Matthew Rhys as Dr. James Brenner

T-Pain as Sam Galley

Christoph Waltz as Francis von Bowling

Rob Paulsen as Mr. Shreds

David Kaye as Collar

Roger Craig Smith as Tank

Alex Hirsch as Lawrence Abrams

Zach Callison as Steven, Onion, Cactus Stevens, Topiary Stevens

Featuring Christopher McDonald as Carl Grove

And Betsy Sodaro as Maureen Grove

"It just feels so good to be bad." Black Rutile gloated to the Crystal Gems as she held them prisoner in a makeshift prison. Today had quite possibly been the best day she has ever had on Earth. Black Rutile had now converted multiple Gems to her coalition of rebels, whether by force or through coercion, her enemies were now hers to torment, and their precious Little Homeworld into her newest evil lair. "I haven't felt this utterly delighted to be victorious since the siege of Tweenis 12, I feel like singing! Maestro?"

Amazonite turned on a music player at her master's command, causing Black Rutile to sing a reprise of a familiar song. "Wither the rose! Growing shadows! Sow a world of chaos! Wither the rose! Only highs, no lows! In a world of chaos!"

"Is this really the time to be singing?" Pearl muttered as she tried to break free from her chains.

"Ha!" Black Rutile laughed in response before looking out at her various enforcers. "Come on minions, hurry along! Soon, Beach City will be gone! I could squeeze myself with glee, first the Diamonds and then this galaxy! I really stopped at nothing, gaslighting, terrorism, and lying!" she declared. "Whatever it takes to get revenge, you really can't blame me for trying."

Little Homeworld soon began hovering over Beach City, casting a dark shadow over a large portion of the town while the townies had no idea what was going on. Suddenly, the water holding the Gem village in the air began firing at the humans, making them scurry in fear as Black Rutile finished her song. "Wither the rose! Growing shadows! Sow a world of chaos! Wither the rose! Don't you doze!"

"This planet is basically ours!" Aquamarine sang along.

"We have control over its superpowers!" Eyeball added triumphantly.

"You are helpless to resist!" Holly Blue proclaimed.

"There's no way for you to persist!" Cat's Eye declared.

"Saying sorry just won't cut it!" Cinnabar boomed.

"This universe will be ours, bit by bit!" Andesine stated.

"You thought you could contain us," Black Rutile sang out in victory. "but you can no longer discuss!"

"Genocide, slaughtering, jingoism, in enemy blood, we shall wade!" the seven Gems joined together in harmony. "Rutile Rebels come celebrate, as we make these foolish Crystal Gems fade!" By the time the song ended, Black Rutile looked out at the destruction below her and began making a speech. "People of Beach City, do not look away!" she bellowed to the humans below. "You witness a Rutile's revival, and the birth of her new empire!"

"What do you want now, Black Rutile?!" Lars yelled from below.

"What I want is recognition!" Black Rutile responded. "As you can see, I have officially conquered Little Homeworld and taken the Crystal Gems as my prisoners. The means as to how it can fly can all be blamed on their dear friend, Lapis Lazuli." She looked over at Lapis, who was sitting on the Warp Pad with a blank look on her face. "Despite what the Crystal Gems believed, Little Homeworld was the aspiration of idiots and dreamers! A mere tool to indoctrinate poor, unfortunate Gems who were living lives free of their tyranny. But unfortunately for them, I am far smarter than the average Gem, so I continued planning my revenge for months on end, which leads me today." She then sent out her drones, ready to attack at any moment. "Either surrender to me at once or else your pathetic little town will go bye-bye! Bye-bye."

Down below, Jasper and White Topaz were watching the carnage the entire time, lying in wait for an opportunity to strike back at Black Rutile and save their friends. "So, any idea on how to stop her?" Jasper asked her girlfriend. "I mean, it's just a bunch of us Gems that she could convert at any moment with those Blasters."

"Well, one thing's for certain, Black Rutile has gone too far this time." White Topaz declared. "We kept giving her second chance after second chance, but she always used them to try and destroy us! I've had enough of this! Once we defeat her, she's going straight to Revanche 666 where she belongs!"

"Someone's got leftover issues they need resolving." Teal Zircon added as she popped up behind the two big Gems. "Okay, Topaz and I have spent the last few minutes coming up with a plan."

"If it involves doing something astronomically stupid, then I don't want in." Jasper stopped Teal before she could finish. "What makes you think you could come up with an intelligent plan?"

"Because outside of being the obnoxious but lovable comic relief, I am actually far more observant than you think I am." TZ declared. "Which is why I am 10,000,000,000% certain that my plan will work."

"I'd like to see you try." Jasper scoffed before White Topaz placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Come on honey, just hear her out." White Topaz suggested. Jasper knew she couldn't disappoint her lover, so she relented with a sigh.

"Okay, proceed." Jasper groaned and let Teal explain.

"I say instead of just saving the day ourselves, we team up with the humans to save the world from Black Rutile!" Teal declared proudly. "The people of Beach City have been around us long enough to know what to do in situations like this, and we've gained a few allies over the years to back us up."

"I get what you're saying now." Jasper nodded proudly. "Like him for example!" As if on cue, Dr. James Brenner walked up to the three Gems. "I found him falling to his doom when Black Rutile threw him out. He's her psychologist, ergo, he should know exactly what she's thinking!"

"You are indeed correct, Jasper." Brenner declared. "I have been forced to watch as Black Rutile's schemes took shape, hoping that maybe my advice would get through to her, but alas, my words fell on deaf ears. Perhaps joining forces with all of you can help me redeem myself for being so powerless to help her."

"Great, we have our first recruit!" Teal Zircon cheered while giving the psychologist a hearty slap on the back. "Okay guys, I'll go gather the troops! You two on the other hand will have to find a very special someone."

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Jasper then asked White Topaz.

"I think so Jasp, but Pete Rose?" White Topaz replied oddly, making Jasper raise an eyebrow at such a non-sequitur. "I mean, can we trust him?"

"No, I think Teal means we should fetch Connie!" Jasper yelled. "You and I both know she's been throwing a wrench in Black Rutile's plans multiple times! Her first invasion of Earth, the Steven monster crisis, and the alternate universe business, all of them had Connie involved and she played some role in stopping them all! You see what I'm getting at here?"

"Yeah, I get it now!" White Topaz exclaimed. "To Connie's house!" Just as the two raced off, a small black spy drone was watching the pair and quickly began following them.

"Breaking news all the way from Beach City!" Lawrence Abrams announced on the news. "The alien terrorist Black Rutile is once again laying waste to Beach City, and at the same time, our beloved president has been subject to a violent uprising against legions of angry Arnold Clump supporters led by the alt-right Internet personality Reginald Johnson. Are these two events connected? We'll be back after the break with more updates."

"Sweet Manila in the claws of light." Doug Maheswaran gasped in shock as he and Connie watched Black Rutile's invasion on the news. "This is probably something Steven should take care of, right?"

"Hopefully he at least knows what's going on," Connie added as she prepared to reach for her phone, only to hear a knock on the door. "Can someone get that?"

"Don't worry Connie, I'll get it," Priyanka said to her daughter as she opened the door to find Jasper and White Topaz waiting for her outside. "Oh, you must be that Jasper and Topaz who tore apart Beach City."

"You are never going to let go of that." Jasper declared. "Anyways, we need to see your daughter. The world is in danger and we need everyone we can get to save it."

"Right here!" Connie exclaimed while she raced up to the front door with her sword at the ready. "Come on guys, the Crystal Gems need us!"

"Yeah, about that." White Topaz stated nervously. "They kind of broke up because Black Rutile exposed Bismuth for poofing Lapis and is now holding them all hostage at Little Homeworld. Plus, Lapis officially betrayed them to Black Rutile and is helping make Little Homeworld fly. You know what, I think I know of a way to explain this better."

White Topaz then turned her fingers into puppet versions of the Crystal Gems to further go in depth about their situation. "Hey, what's this I hear about Bismuth poofing me and setting me on this path of torment and betrayal?!" her imitation of Lapis complained. "Oh no, the jig is up!" an imitation of Bismuth exclaimed. "Okay, I did poof you, Lapis, but I didn't mean to!"

"Saying you didn't mean it won't save you from me!" the shadow puppet of Lapis yelled before lunging at Bismuth, only for Garnet and Pearl to stop her.

"Top thirty reasons why Bismuth is sorry." The puppet version of Pearl stated. "Number 5 will surprise you."

"Top thirty anime deaths," puppet Lapis continued. "number one: YOUR BUTT RIGHT NOW!"

"I'm just here to be supportive!" a shadow puppet of Amethyst said as she took Lapis and Peridot's side in the tussle, ending with White Topaz making "whoop whoop whoop" sounds as she started twiddling her fingers into a big clump. "And scene!"

"Okay, I'm going to need a refresher here." Priyanka said, shocked at the bizarreness of White Topaz's show. "What does this all mean?"

"Look, the point is that Teal Zircon and all the Gems Black Rutile didn't convert are gathering everyone in Beach City to fight back against Black Rutile, and we believe Connie is the best possible candidate to lead them all." Jasper explained in brief. "If anyone else wishes to join, you're free to come along."

"But what about Steven?" Connie asked. "Surely he'd know what to do in this situation." Suddenly, the tracking drone from earlier emerged from Jasper's hair, making her and White Topaz wonder if it was following them the whole time, and dropped into Connie's hands to deliver a message from Black Rutile.

"Ah, Connie Meka-Leka-Hi-Meka-Hiney-Ho-Swanson, we meet again." The hologram of Black Rutile smirked at her message's intended recipient. "If you are seeing this message, then you're already well aware of my latest revenge scheme and how frequently you've been playing a part in my constant failures. I would kill you and your parents right here and now, but I believe that would be too easy." The very thought of being killed by such a madman unnerved the Maheswarans. "Which is I offer you this challenge! Meet me at the flying Little Homeworld in ninety minutes to face me for the fate of your wretched world, and bring company too. And for an extra challenge, Steven must not get involved in the slightest. Lose, I will kill each and every single one of you. Win?" She let out an evil chuckle. "The only winner will be me, no matter what. Allons-y!"

The drone then shut down and crumbled to pieces of metal in Connie's hand. Despite the threat to her life, it only made her more determined. "Take us to Beach City."

Later at Beach City, Teal Zircon was true to her word and had assembled the entirety of its citizens and then some to discuss their plans to stop Black Rutile. Along with all the Gems that escaped Black Rutile's earlier assault, there was the Barriga family and the Off-Colors, Sadie & Shep, the former Cool Kids, the Pizza and Fryman families, Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowney, Jamie, Kevin, Onion and his friends, Vidalia, Yellowtail, and Sheena Synstylae. In addition, Teal had also managed to get into contact with Bane Jones, Beckham Jordan, Matt Monroe, Makoto Fuji, and Sam Galley. Now, all that was left was Connie and her parents to make their makeshift army complete.

"My my Teal Zircon, you assembled quite an assortment of characters here." Brenner nodded at all the humans and Gems gathered together to stop Black Rutile. "But do you think this will be enough to stop her?"

"Oh, I know so!" Teal yelled excitedly. "You know those kinds of movies and TV shows where there's a team of people who cannot function together, but they pull through regardless? That's what I'm going for here. On our own, we're just a bunch of misfits. But when we're together, now that's something special." Just then, Connie, her parents, Jasper, and White Topaz appeared behind her from a portal created by Lion. "And there's our girl of the hour! Let's give her a hand!"

Everyone began applauding as Connie walked up to Teal Zircon. "Uh, hello everybody, thank you for inviting me to your little get-together. I'm afraid I'm going to need some catching up to do on what's been going on. I don't think a funny little puppet show is enough."

"Then allow me," Brenner said before he spoke to the audience. "As some of you may not know, our 'dear friend' Black Rutile", He put "dear friend" in air-quotes. "has enacted quite possibly her greatest revenge plot yet, and I bore witness to the fruits of her labor overtime as I was assigned to be her criminal psychologist. She has assembled criminal masterminds, bigoted online personalities, more old enemies of the Gems, and forlorn Gems looking for a place to belong. I have tried multiple times to convince her that she wasn't doing the right thing, but she kept ignoring me at every turn."

"Online personalities like who?" Ronaldo raised his hand, making the rest of the crowd turn to him. "You mean Sally Grove? I've had tons of arguments with her about the Gems before."

"Precisely that," James explained. "I have no idea why she is so cruel, but she seemed perfect as one of Black Rutile's top lieutenants, using her social media influence to gather more human followers through the Internet. There is also Francis von Bowling and his cohorts from P.H.A.N.T.O.M, no doubt brought in for their vendetta against the Gems too."

"Well, I'll be." Bane Jones muttered in bemusement while preparing a technologically advanced shotgun.

"In addition, Black Rutile is now joined by this Marty fellow, who claims to have his own grudge because Steven took his son away from him." James continued, giving him strained looks from Greg and Vidalia. "Together, these scoundrels have converted multiple Gems through these strange blasters built to brainwash anyone hit by them!"

"It's because of those blasters Black Rutile took away my crew!" Nephrite sobbed into Biggs Jasper's arms.

"She took out almost the entire Famethyst!" Carnelian added.

"And like, tons of other quartz Gems too." Chest Rose stated. "Me, my sibs, Biggs, Tiger's Eye, and Cherry are the only ones left."

"Hopefully what the Black Pearls said about finding a way to restore them is true." Cherry Quartz nervously said, looking over at the Black Pearl Brigade.

"So, what can we all do?" Beckham Jordan asked. "We're all just a bunch of humans and Gems who have no idea how unprepared we are for this! Heck, I'm just a star basketball player who knows more about how to score a point than fighting battles! What would happen if one of us were to die today? Besides, Steven won't be here to help us!"

"I promise you all, I won't let that happen." Connie declared before unsheathing her sword and holding it to the sky. "The Crystal Temps will defend this planet to the end!"

"Wait, is that what we're calling ourselves?!" Kevin yelled from afar. "Why not something cooler like the Substitute Crystal Gems, or something?!"

"It's very sentimental!" Connie hurriedly replied. "Now who's with me?!"

"I am!" Orange Spodumene yelled while raising her hand.

"I am!" Kofi Pizza and Mr. Fryman shouted in unison.

"And me too!" Sam Galley added excitedly. "Also, just want to get this outta the way, but I have a bit of a crush on Amethyst."

"Me three!" Lavenderine shouted, followed by a wave of excitement from the gathered New Crystal Temps.

"Aw, what the heck, I haven't got that long a lifespan anyways." Kevin resigned himself to the cause. While Connie proudly looked over at the crowd united for a singular purpose, she felt a familiar hand touching her shoulder.

"I'm in too." Priyanka proclaimed, much to her daughter's surprise. "After that hospital incident, I feel like it's time for me to get involved in your Crystal Gem business and be on the frontlines."

"Well, someone's a little eager." Brenner smiled at Priyanka before looking over at Doug. "And what shall you do for this, sir?"

"I think I'll go look into the Sally Grove situation." Doug answered. "Her parents deserve to know that their daughter is basically selling out the human race to Black Rutile. But be sure to call me so I can still join in."

"Black Rutile told me that I have to meet her in ninety minutes," Connie announced while looking at her watch. "Well, this announcement went by quicker than expected. Anyways, let's save the world!" The New Crystal Temps then began cheering for their grand leader.

Meanwhile, in the dark void of space, Revanche 666 was now completely abandoned following Cinnabar and Andesine's escape from the prison. Black Pearl guards, Bismuths, and Peridots were locked in cells formerly occupied by members of the Rutile Rebels, surviving on a false hope that someone would come to save them. However, two particular prisoners weren't meant to be there. They just wanted to get in, stop a prison riot, and get out. But fate had other plans.

"How long has it been since we were trapped here by Cinnabar's plotting and my own recklessness?" Hessonite muttered to Citrine as the two languished in their prison cells. "Feels like we've been stranded here for eons."

"It's only been a few weeks, Hessonite." Citrine stated. "But yeah, it really has felt like forever. I mean, it would take a miracle for someone to notice that we're stuck here!" Suddenly, the two heard something crash through the walls. "Well, what do you know?"

"Hey, anybody here?!" Spinel yelled as she and Lemon Jade emerged from a spaceship they just crashed into the prison. "The Diamonds were getting worried that something bad happened!"

"Over here Spinel, over here!" Hessonite yelled to Spinel. "Hello, it's me, Hessonite, and yes, I am exactly who you're looking for."

"Yeah, we haven't seen you guys since you went to stop that prison breakout," Spinel answered while turning her hand into a ventriloquist dummy resembling Yellow Diamond. "Old Yeller was like 'I fear something might've gone horribly wrong on Revanche 666. I need someone to volunteer to investigate.' Luckily, I was there to oblige."

"And I simply got dragged along." Lemon Jade added. "So what did happen?"

"We thought Andesine and her entourage had surrendered, but it was all a ruse she and Cinnabar set up to escape," Citrine explained to the visitors. "Now we're all stuck behind bars with no way to leave, no way of contacting anyone outside this prison, and no way to deactivate our cells. Do either of you have any bright ideas?"

"I got one! I saw this on a TV show once." Spinel replied before she leaned on the wall between Hessonite and Citrine's cells and gave it a hard knock, which somehow forced the destabilizing fields guarding the two to deactivate. "Ey!" she added with two thumbs up. "You can thank me later."

"Finally!" Hessonite sighed with relief while shaking Spinel's hand as she emerged from her cell. "But what about everyone else?"

"Don't worry, I got this," Citrine said as she walked out of her cell and straight to the control room.

"So, where are Cinnabar and Andesine now?" Lemon Jade asked Hessonite.

"The two of them are currently on Earth aiding Black Rutile in whatever harebrained scheme she has now planned," Hessonite stated while the prison staff was released from their cells. "We need to act quickly if we want to stop all of them in their tracks."

"Roger roger, live long and prosper and all that!" Spinel exclaimed. "Come on Jade, let's chew bubblegum and kick some butt! And I'm all out of bubblegum."

"I'm not sure if I'm equipped for a fight, but whatever you say, I'll follow," Lemon said as she, Spinel, Hessonite, and Citrine boarded the ship Spinel crashed earlier and took off for Earth to bring Cinnabar & Andesine to justice.

"Ocean Town." Doug muttered to himself as he pulled into Beach City's sister town, easily identified by a sign declaring "STILL NOT ON FIRE." His journey ended at a shabby but homely-looking one-story house where he pulled into the driveway before getting out and knocking on the front door. An overweight, middle-aged fellow with a receding hairline, a barely shaved mustache, and clothes that looked like they haven't been washed in days soon answered. "Hello, is this the Grove residence?"

"What's it to ya?" the fat man said while pulling a half-eaten hot dog out of his pocket to shove in his mouth.

"Doug Maheswaran from Beach City." Doug introduced himself to the man while pulling out his ID. "I'm here to speak about your daughter, Sally."

"Oh good, I thought you were here about the body we found on the train tracks." The man sighed in relief before turning his head to call for someone. "Maureen!"

"What?!" what Doug assumed to be the man's wife hollered back.

"We got a cop here to talk about Sally!" the man replied before letting Doug inside and sitting him down and offering him a drink. "Here, have a shot on me."

"No thanks, I'm good." Doug rejected the offer before a skinny woman hiding her bleached blonde hair in a bandana walked into the living room. "Hello there miss, I'm here to talk to you about your daughter's recent activities."

"Ah yeah, Sally." The woman said as she and her husband sat down on the couch. "I always kept hearing her talk with that alien woman on her whatchacallit….computer. Anyways, my name's Maureen Grove and this is my husband Carl."

"Well, that alien woman is a known bigoted criminal who is plotting to destroy the world." Doug revealed, making Carl and Maureen blankly stare at each other in silence. "Something the matter, you two?"

"Shoulda known our girl would do something like this." Maureen Grove shook her head in shame. "If you think Sally's views were a product of an abusive upbringing or some kind of trauma, I'm afraid you're mistaken, officer. She was diagnosed with kajigger disorder or something."

"Antisocial personality disorder." Carl Grove corrected his wife. "What we're saying is that Sally is just not a pleasant person to be around, especially in this current era of that danged Internet. She thrives on being so smug & self-righteous and making people hate her, yet at the same time she wonders why everyone hates her. And we've tried our best to help her, but she always kept picking on us for stupid reasons! It's absurd, I tells ya!"

"So, she brought this upon herself," Doug said while writing down in his notepad. "Would you care to further elaborate on her behavior?"

"She also had this TubeTube channel that barely had any subscribers because people would rather watch cat videos, let's plays, and those creepy kids' videos," Maureen answered. "But then came that weird monster attack last year, where everything changed forever."

"Sally honey, time for dinner!" Carl called for his daughter while knocking on the door. "Mama's making chili cheese dogs tonight!"

"I can buy and sell you, old man!" Sally insulted her father from behind her bedroom door.

"Fair enough, just starve then because I'm a man." Carl casually replied as he walked away. "I swear, we have got to get her a therapist soon." He muttered to himself. "Dropping out of college I can understand, but she desperately needs to do something with her life."

"CARL, GET DOWN HERE!" Maureen shrieked for her husband. "SOMEONE'S INTERRUPTED AMERICAN IDOL!"

"They WHAT?!" Carl bellowed as he charged down the stairs to see what was going on. To his alarm, their TV show was cut off by the sudden appearance of Black Rutile on their television screen as she made a speech.

"Greetings to the civilians of this backwater planet. I am Black Rutile, soon to be supreme ruler of the Gem race." Black Rutile introduced herself to audiences around the world. "I come to you today because you are faced with a crisis that has been right under your noses for thousands of years now, and it can all be blamed on the Crystal Gems."

"Nothing that changing the channel won't fix." Carl declared as he picked up the remote and tried switching to another channel. Unfortunately, Black Rutile was interrupting the programming there, and on every other channel too. "What the Sam Hill is going on here?! Who would believe such malarkey?!"

"They have been living among your people since the dawn of man, and have brought numerous world-ending threats along with." Black Rutile's speech continued on Sally's computer, much to her curiosity. "From loads of monsters that were formerly members of their kind, to insane terraformers that stole the ocean for selfish purposes followed by nearly drowning thousands once they returned the water to Earth, a superweapon made from the remains of their own kind that remains buried under the Earth as we speak, repeated counts of abductions and the near-genocide of all organic life." Despite Black Rutile clearly spreading lies about the Crystal Gems, the desperate TubeTube user felt a special sort of parasocial connection to her. "But now we are faced with a new problem, and it's all thanks to one Gem: Pink Diamond. It's because of her that this monstrosity plaguing the Earth at this moment is running amok and the Crystal Gems have done nothing to stop it, or her for that matter. Should you believe this planet is worth saving, something must be done about the Crystal Gems, or you will suffer the consequences. That will be all."

With the end of Black Rutile's warning, Sally's life was changed forever. Her TubeTube channel was then completely overhauled to benefit from her newfound hatred of the Crystal Gems. They caused so much chaos and destruction, yet they're celebrated as heroes. Sally simply gives her opinion, and she's constantly villainized for it. To her, that simply wasn't fair. But what no one realized about Sally was terrified of growing past her bigoted, misanthropic mindset and becoming a better person because she believed kindness and compassion were signs of weakness. And she despised being weak.

"Ever since then, that Black Rutile yutz has been a bad influence on our girl." Carl finished his story. "Sally's been completely off her rocker because of her. Every time we tried setting her up with various lovers, she just kept abusing them. Especially this one feller named Fred who she kept saying had a small di-"

"Anything else I should know before I leave?" Doug asked, cutting off Carl before he could finish. "What other crimes has she committed?"

"What hasn't she committed?" Maureen replied. "Thankfully, she hasn't done anything super serious, but she's also formed lynch mobs online against random people she hates, and cyberbullied her so-called friends away. And let's not forget that she wrote some really disturbing fanfiction!" She cringed in disgust at the thought.

"Right, thank you for your time, Mr. and Mrs. Grove, I promise I'll have your daughter returned home so she can get the help she deserves," Doug said as he got up and prepared to leave, only for Carl to stop him.

"Hey, before you go, officer," Carl said before presenting Doug with a chili cheese dog. "care for a chili cheese dog? Can't save the world on an empty stomach."

"You know what? I'll take it." Doug accepted the dog before pulling out his phone. "Connie, I'll be coming back soon. Is everything ready?"

"Almost, Dad," Connie responded. "Bane Jones helped us get everybody weapons for the big fight. We just need to wait on you now."

Elsewhere in Washington D.C., President Eduardo Suarez, his vice president Theresa Maxwell, Wade Grant, Lloyd Waller, and his presidential cabinet remained in hiding from the forces of Reginald Anderson. Having just witnessed his family being held hostage, the White House being overtaken, and one of the secret service agents under his employment brutally beaten to near death, the president was naturally anxious about what to do next. What's more, there's no way he can contact the Crystal Gems at the moment. He was at an utter loss at what to do.

"Never seen Eddy this worked up in ages," Theresa muttered in wonder at her president's nervous pacing. "Last time I've seen him like this was when Clump seemed to have beat him in the polls."

"I wouldn't blame him," Lloyd replied. "Country's in crisis again, plus his family is in grave danger. Poor thing looks like he'll have a panic attack at any moment."

"I'll go have a talk with him," Wade said as he walked over to his chief and put a hand on his shoulder. "Mr. President, are you feeling alright? Do you need anything before we make our decision?"

"No, I'm perfectly fine!" Eduardo exclaimed bravely, a far cry from the nervous front he was just putting up. "I'm willing to give everything for this country, as a good president should!" However, his courageous smile was quickly replaced with an insecure frown. "But what can I do when my family's lives are at stake here? One wrong move and I could lose everything."

"You're right, he's giving us a very tough choice here." Wade nodded when he suddenly got an idea. "Wait, I know!" Whatever he whispered into the president's ear, Eduardo was liking what he was hearing. "You got that?"

"I like what you're saying." Eduardo nodded. "Let's do it." Just then, three men opened the doors to One Observatory Drive and walked in. The first man wore a nice suit and was balding, while his two associates were dressed in a tank top and a collared shirt respectively. "Hello there."

"Greetings Mr. President, my name is Mr. Shreds." Mr. Shreds introduced himself to the president. "These are my two associates, Tank and Collar, and we are here to deliver you to Reginald Johnson so you can relinquish your presidency."

"Just move along now and don't keep us waiting!" Collar said as he and Tank took Eduardo by the arms and guided him to their limo. "Any last words, sir?"

"Yes, I'd like to make a personal request to Reginald." Eduardo nodded. "I'd like to have a public debate with him, face to face."

"As absurd as your request is, I shall grant it," Tank replied begrudgingly, not knowing what he was in for as the limousine drove away.

"So what did you tell him?" Theresa asked Wade as the two worriedly watched Eduardo be taken away.

"You'll see." Wade gave the vice president a knowing smirk.

"Making yourselves comfortable, Crystal Gems?" Black Rutile asked her prisoners while paying them one last visit to their cell. "Doesn't matter to me, because I got special plans for you."

"What is it now?" Peridot muttered disdainfully. "Is it about how you're so much better than us because you're not us?"

"Whatever it is, just get it over with already," Bismuth added sadly. "I deserve it for what I put Lapis through."

"Yes, yes you did." Lapis harshly agreed. "You poofed me and then forced me to be the dumb little plaything that you'll always throw away when you don't need me."

"You're still depressed about that?!" Black Rutile groaned in irritation as the brainwashed Emerald pulled up a throne for Black Rutile to sit on. "I'm saying that this could all be avoided if you joined me! Over time, I began to realize that the Rutile Rebels aren't as different from the Crystal Gems as I thought. We all started out as nobodies, did something extraordinary that made us different from the rest of our kin, rose to the top, and earned the respect of the Diamonds, only to have all torn down by a person who didn't even care about them." She declared. "I'll admit, when I first heard about Little Homeworld, I wanted to destroy it so bad, especially when you locked me up here. But after spending some time trapped here, I, ever the opportunist, decided that I could make it into something better!"

"Like turning it into our new secret lair for example!" Aquamarine added.

"And we have your stupid bickering to thank for it!" Eyeball said as all the other Rutile Rebels threw their heads back and laughed.

"What I'm trying to say is that there are special people like us who should run the world, and then there are the disgusting humans who deliver our food and fight our wars." Black Rutile continued. "Which is why I'm offering you this one-time opportunity. Let us work together for once so we can truly bring Gems and humans together in peace and harmony!" To emphasize her point, she turned on a news report documenting the attack on the White House. "Refuse, and I shall make you pay with your lives! Bring out the Disintegrator!"

"Wait, the Disintegrator?!" Bismuth shrieked in terror as Sally walked in with a small, glowing boxlike device in her hands that she set on the table. "I thought that was outlawed eons ago! How did you get one?!"

"You'd be surprised what I can accomplish through mixing Gem technology with human garbage." Black Rutile stated while presenting the device. "For those uninformed, most likely you Amethyst, this was an ancient torture device built to execute criminal Gems by grinding them up into dust and dispersing them in the air in a beautiful yet morbid fashion."

"Curious, most curious." Francis von Bowling nodded with intrigue. "And how does it work exactly?"

"Allow me to demonstrate." Black Rutile responded before presenting a small rock she placed in the Disintegrator. She then turned it on, and the rock was instantly ground up into dust in a terrifying show of the machine's power, leaving the Gems horrified yet not surprised she would use something like that. "That oughta show you for brainwashing us all!"

"You're kidding me?" Pearl scoffed. "You claim we're brainwashing Gems against their and forcing them to join our side when that's literally what you are doing with those devices! Those aren't rejuvenating blasters, they're inculcating blasters! All these new Gems of yours say: "All hail Black Rutile! All hail Black Rutile!", but the Gems we teach would never say anything like that. We didn't force them to come here, they made that choice willingly."

"Kind of like how Lapis willingly joined me after I convinced her of how alone we were in the universe?" Black Rutile retorted, pointing to a sullen Lapis in the darkness. "Or how I convinced Sally Grove here to be a kindred spirit?"

"Yeah, that reminds me," Amethyst asked. "How could you team up with someone that obviously evil? Surely, you must have some tragic reason for doing so, right?"

"No, no tragic reason at all," Sally admitted without a single ounce of empathy in her voice. "I just like being hated. It makes me feel powerful."

"Hatred makes all of us powerful." Holly Blue agreed with Sally, with Cat's Eye by her side with her cat Blake in her arms.

"Very powerful." Cat's Eye agreed.

"Okay, we've had enough taunting, let's get to executing!" Black Rutile declared eagerly as she began choosing which Crystal Gem to disintegrate. However, her choice was pretty easy. "Bismuth, do you volunteer as tribute?"

"Wait, what?!" Bismuth muttered as the brainwashed Demantoid and Pyrope freed her from her shackles to be executed. "You won't get away with this, Black Rutile!"

"As a matter of fact, I've gotten away with it months ago." Black Rutile cruelly sneered while shoving the Disintegrator towards Bismuth. "Now, you might feel a little tingle."

"Lapis, please, I'm sorry!" Bismuth cried out for possibly the last time to Lapis, but she didn't seem to listen. All Lapis could do was turn away in shame. As Bismuth was about to be thrown into the machine and the other Crystal Gems cried for Black Rutile not to do it, the Disintegrator was suddenly stabbed with an epee, causing it to shut down. "What?"

"You!" Black Rutile yelled at Tanzanite for destroying her machine. "I have put hours upon hours into building that, and you made it all for nothing!"

"That's because you've gone too far this time, and I can't do this anymore!" Tanzanite yelled angrily while proceeding to free Bismuth, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Peridot from their restraints. "Brainwashing is one thing, but executing too?"

"Are you seriously trying to talk back to your master?" Black Rutile growled angrily. "You know how Rose lied to you, you know how she left you to die and become part of a planet-destroying abomination against your will! I was there for you, and this is how you repay me?!"

"Yes, the Crystal Gems aren't honest, but their intentions are definitely real." Tanzanite declared firmly, bringing a tear to Pearl's eye before her former student was threatened with Black Rutile's bowie knife.

"Take that back and fight for me, or pay the price." Black Rutile ordered Tanzanite to stand down, and the punk purple Gem meekly did as she was told while Navy raced up to her master's side. "Yes, Ruby?"

"We got humans and enemy Gems at 12:00!" Navy yelled hurriedly.

"Did you tell them I hate them?" Black Rutile asked while turning her bowie knife into her sword. "No matter." With a superhuman leap, Black Rutile bounded out of her lair and landed in front of the New Crystal Temps before striking a pose as she drew her sword. "Well, don't stop on my account."

"Black Rutile, we've come to finally bring you to justice!" Connie declared while raising her sword in the air. "In the name of the Crystal Gems, the planet Earth, and the entire universe, we'll punish you for your crimes. And this time, we'll make it permanent. Do you yield?"

Black Rutile just sneered at Connie's bold declaration and responded with simply "I do not." With a snap of her fingers, the other Rutile Rebels, including a reluctant Tanzanite and Lapis, soon gathered behind her to counter Connie's forces. Just then, however, the Crystal Gems leaped out from behind the Rutile Rebels to join Connie and the others, followed by Spinel, Hessonite, Citrine, and Lemon Jade crashing into Little Homeworld on their ship.

"CRYSTAL GEMS!" Garnet roared while summoning her gauntlets. "Assemble." With that, everyone behind Connie roared as they charged into battle against Black Rutile and her enforcers, along with legions of brainwashed Gems, Concrete warriors, and Cactus & Topiary Stevens once again forced to serve Black Rutile. This was a day unlike any other when humans and Gems alike found themselves united against a common foe for the first time in thousands of years. On that day, everyone in Beach City became a Crystal Gem.

"Of course, you would find a way to ruin my plans!" Black Rutile said as she got into an intense swordfight with Connie. The battle for Earth had already gotten off to a rousing start. Bane Jones and Beckham Jordan fought side by side against von Bowling and his men, Kevin and Vidalia were up against Marty in a mechanical war suit, and Lars had a rematch with Emerald, among many other battles. "For too long now, you've always been interfering and you didn't even know it!"

"It's called loyalty Black Rutile, something you would probably never know!" Connie retorted before going in for a stab, only to be blocked by Sally Grove fighting back with a laser sword. "And as for you!"

"Don't even try to preach to me, little girl." Sally taunted in her usual high and mighty fashion. "We all know you would've found a way to call your white savior because you have no other personality outside of being his protector! You're a disgrace to your ethnicity, brat!"

"That's what you think, bullying my daughter like that!" Priyanka retorted with a sword of her own to fight Sally and Black Rutile with. "Apologize to her at once or I will reveal everything your parents told my husband!"

"What do you mean I have to apologize?! She attacked me!" Sally said before she realized what the doctor meant. "Wait, really? Oh no, no no no no!"

"Yeah, they told me some pretty messed up stuff about you," Doug said while putting out his notepad and reading what he had written earlier, making Sally writhe in agony while Black Rutile looked disdainfully at her human charge. "Let's see, abusing everyone around you, including your own parents, refusing to grow beyond your toxic personality while also blaming it on everyone around you, that disturbing fanfiction-"

"It's only disturbing from a certain point of view, having sexual relationships with your family members is perfectly normal in some parts of the world!" Sally only kept digging herself deeper into insanity in her attempts to preserve her image, unaware that Ronaldo had been live-streaming her this entire time, and her reputation was falling apart by the second. "Hey, turn that camera off!"

"No way, this is going to make a killing on Keep Beach City Weird!" Ronaldo laughed mischievously. "Wow, these negative comments expressing how betrayed your viewers must be for how much of a hypocrite you're being are coming in by the dozens."

"It's the same story I've seen so many times." Doug shook his head in disgust as Sally had an utter breakdown in front of the Maheswarans and Black Rutile, who was just as disgusted at how pathetic her partner was. "A fine, upstanding bigot. Your nose is so close to the grindstone, you can't see anything else. Meanwhile, the world changes and grows, and you're blind to it! Ignorant and proud of it too."

"Am I glad that's not me!" Black Rutile scoffed hypocritically as Sally was handcuffed and taken somewhere safe until the battle was over. "Now where were we? Oh yes!" She immediately got right back to her clash with Connie.

"So, calming down Lapis." Peridot muttered as she, Jasper, and White Topaz stood in front of Lapis and Phoenix Lapis fighting Laz and Zuli. "Got any ideas?"

"You're her life partner, you should know!" Jasper exclaimed while Laz and Zuli fought for their lives. "Paz, got any bright ideas?"

"I think I might have a good idea of what to do." White Topaz declared. "Bismuth, we need your help!"

"I'm in the middle of something here!" Bismuth replied while she was fighting Andesine and Cinnabar. "Oh, you want me to make up with Lapis, right?"

"Hopefully having her back on our side will turn the tide of battle!" White Topaz suggested, causing Bismuth to knock her two opponents out and walk up to her. "Just say what you need to say and hopefully she'll listen."

"This had better work." Bismuth took a deep breath and yelled "HEY LAPIS, OVER HERE!" The four Lapises then turned to see Bismuth below. "No, not you, the one who hates me!" she corrected herself.

"What do you want now?" Lapis angrily asked as she hovered on the ground.

"Listen Lapis, I know you won't ever forgive me and the other Crystal Gems for what we did to you," Bismuth said. "but I swear, if you listen and understand we didn't know what we did, maybe we can finally start making amends."

"Wait, you mean it?" Lapis's face softened in surprise.

"Yeah, we're still your friends!" White Topaz declared happily.

"And besides, I'm the only one who gets to be all sullen and betrayed here!" Jasper added before reaching her hand out. "Just take my hand."

Lapis started smiling again, bringing smiles to Peridot and White Topaz's faces as well, and began to reach out to Jasper. However, she was quickly interrupted by Cinnabar and Andesine's groups pointing their Rejuvenation Blasters at the Crystal Gems.

"Make another move, and we'll have to reset all of you." Cinnabar declared coldly.

"Now then, any last words?" Andesine smirked.

"I got one," Bismuth stated before raising her fist at Lapis's gem. "Please don't hate me for this again!" With a single punch, Lapis was poofed yet again, this time to save her from being shot with the Rejuvenation Blaster as the Rutile Rebels began opening fire, prompting Bismuth, Jasper, White Topaz, and Peridot to scatter.

"I'll be taking this to reverse-engineer, thank you very much!" Peridot snickered as she robbed Howlite of her Blaster to experiment on and ran away with a maniacal "NYEH-HAHAHAHAHA!"

"After her!" Howlite commanded and raced after Peridot with Dalmatian Jasper, Zoisite, Amber, and Xenotime behind her.

"Check it out, I got a Rejuvenation Blaster!" Peridot said to Squaridot and IQ while presenting the stolen blaster to them. "Maybe we can work together to find a way to use it to get everyone back to normal!"

"That's some good thinking, Peridot." Squaridot complimented the other Peridot's idea before the three geniuses snuck off to get to work.

"So it's come to this, Tanzanite, the student versus the master," Pearl said as she took a battle stance, and Tanzanite did the same. "Tell me Tanzanite, why did you join Black Rutile instead of accepting everything as it was? I understand if you felt betrayed by Rose, but this is not a healthy way of coping."

"It's because I just wanted to save everyone from what I suffered," Tanzanite revealed sadly as she clashed with her former mentor. "My friends! My family! Everything I did was for the galaxy, for the Crystal Gems! But it was all for nothing, Pink Diamond used all of us to avoid the consequences of her actions." Despite how much Pearl tried to speak up, Tanzanite kept ranting. "I had to use my skills on friends; on family; Gems that I knew. She controlled us through lies." She then let out a strained and tearful laugh. "Homeworld, no better than the rebels Rose created. I helped terrorize my people! I wanted you to stop it, I had to stop it. I spoke out. I spoke out to Black Rutile, to save everyone from you! But when I did, I only stood with a monster. You chose Pink Diamond." Now, Tanzanite was on the verge of tears as she sobbed into Pearl's chest. "You left me, gave me no choice! The Diamonds wanted to destroy worlds, and they did. Pink destroyed mine."

"Oh, poor dear," Pearl muttered sorrowfully while holding her old student close. "But do you still believe Black Rutile is good for you?"

"I'm not sure if anyone is good for me." Tanzanite sobbed. "I don't know if Black Rutile really cares for me or if she just saw me as a tool."

"Black Rutile never cared for anyone to begin with." Pearl declared before she held Tanzanite's head in her hands. "I'm truly sorry that I made you choose this path, and I promise that there will be no more secrets between us from now on. Is that good?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if I can forgive myself for this." Tanzanite agreed just as she felt the business end of a Rejuvenation Blaster pressing the back of her head.

"Another last-minute betrayal, I see." Andesine grinned while preparing to pull the trigger, only for Tanzanite to smack it out of Andesine's hands with her epee before stabbing her in the chest.

"Now look what you made ME do," Tanzanite smirked as she threw what Andesine said when she shattered her back in the red Gem's face before she poofed.

"Okay Mr. S, here we are." Mr. Shreds said as he pulled the limo up to the White House and let Eduardo out. "Just make it quick, I'm on a tight schedule here," Eduardo said nothing as he saw his family surrounded by terrorists and Reginald smugly standing by a video camera and a podium.

"Go on Mr. Prez, don't be shy." Reginald mockingly urged Eduardo. "Just say what you need to say."

"That's exactly what I was going to say to you." Eduardo declared before trapping Reginald in a headlock. "NOW!" The SWAT team immediately overwhelmed Reginald's enforcers while Reginald tried his best to fight back, only to be met with a krav maga kick from Theresa, coming straight out of nowhere.

"Did you plan all this?!" Reginald shouted.

"Well, not necessarily," Eduardo replied as Wade and Lloyd came to handcuff Reginald. "It's just that I'm far more quick on my feet than you'll ever be."

"Dad!" Huey and Riley Suarez cried as Theresa freed them from their restraints and hugged their father.

"Oh, mi preciosos, I was so worried," Eduardo said as he hugged them back before seeing Arlene walk towards them as well. "And I surely didn't forget you, my love."

"And you never will," Arleen replied before kissing her husband. And so, the White House was saved, thanks to the president and his quick thinking. Now all he had to do was hope that the Crystal Gems were doing alright.

"Must I remind you of my superiority, pretty boy?" Marty taunted Kevin while showing off the capabilities of his war suit. "Face it, hiding behind all these beautiful women won't get you anywhere in life!"

"Yeah, I'm absolutely unequipped for this, but that won't stop me from trying!" Kevin exclaimed before beginning to fight back.

"How could you, Marty?" Vidalia asked her ex-husband. "I knew you were a dirtbag, but selling out the entire human race for what? Just because you're mad we disowned you!"

"Oh yeah, I'm absolutely livid," Marty agreed. "but I'm mostly just here to get even with you guys. I don't give a damn about Black Rutile's whole rebellion business!"

Meanwhile, Bane Jones, Beckham, Makoto, and Matt were all standing back-to-back against Francis von Bowling's men. "So, when this is all over, could I perhaps get an autograph?" Bane asked Beckham. "I'm a huge fan, and I consider it an honor to be fighting for Earth with you."

"I'd be more than happy to." Beckham smiled at the offer.

"Hey boys, can we pick up the pace a bit?!" Makoto said while delivering an upside-down spinning kick to Konstantin, Pavel, and Leo at once.

Above the chaos going on in Little Homeworld, Black Rutile stood atop the whirlybird tower and was not happy with how her forces were losing. "STOOOOOP THEM!" she shrieked angrily while pulling at her hair just as she turned to see Connie, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Bismuth, Jasper, White Topaz, Spinel, Hessonite, and now Tanzanite standing behind her. "You! You ruined everything again! I could've made everything perfect!"

"You didn't want to make things perfect." Tanzanite declared to Black Rutile. "You just hated things the way they are."

"This is your final warning, Black Rutile." Garnet declared. "And this time, we won't be giving you a second chance. You and your minions are headed straight for Revanche 666 after this!"

"Fine, if I can never win, then neither should you!" Black Rutile completely snapped. "Aquamarine, Eyeball, Chrome Chalcedony, to me!"

"Ready as always, Black Rutile!" Aquamarine said as she and Eyeball fused into Bluebird Azurite, while Holly Blue and Cat's Eye arrived to make Chrome Chalcedony.

"And now, for a little surprise!" Bluebird proclaimed.

"I have a little joke for you all." Black Rutile smiled dementedly while grabbing Bluebird's hand. "What do you get when you cross a depressed loner with a society that abandons her and treats her like trash?!"

"That's not a very good joke!" Amethyst replied.

"I'll tell you what you get, you get what you deserve!" Black Rutile shrieked before she and Bluebird merged to form Pietersite, now sporting Black Rutile's new pink cape and red visor in addition to her outfit now looking different to fit Aquamarine's regeneration.

"PIETERSITE LIVES!" Pietersite bellowed loudly for all to hear and cringe in fear. "AND NOW CRYSTAL GEMS, IT IS TIME FOR THE FINAL CURTAIN CALL!"

"I don't think so!" Peridot said as she fired a Rejuvenation Blaster at the two fusions, which they dodged only for the blast to hit one of Nephrite's crew and revert her to normal. "I stole one of those blasters from Howlite and reverse-engineered them to change everyone hit by them back to normal."

"I'm free, I've been freed!" the Nephrite cheered at finally being brought back to her old self.

"What?" Pietersite muttered in horror as the Crystal Gems immediately understood what was going to happen and raced down to solid ground so they can do the same for all the other Gems Black Rutile converted. "No! No no no! Don't do that, I worked so hard!"

"Stop them!" Chrome Chalcedony added as she and Pietersite tried fighting back against the enemy, but as the Crystal Gems' forces grew with every Gem turned back to normal, they were quickly outnumbered.

"Well, we're boned," Apatite muttered as she and Amazonite prepared to leave. "Let's skedaddle!"

"I don't think that'll be necessary," Amazonite replied as she and Apatite found themselves confronted by the entirety of Beach City's population, and they weren't happy.

"Goin' somewhere?" Sheena Synstylae cracked her neck and her knuckles.

"Don't worry, you're not the only ones we'll be punishing," Lars added.

"We'll finally gain an advantage over Black Rutile!" Padparadscha Sapphire exclaimed happily.

Pietersite could barely comprehend what happened, and it was so anticlimactic too. Her forces were subdued, her weapons seized and modified to fix what she had done, and now all that was left of the Rutile Rebels was her, Aquamarine, and Eyeball once again. "Please no, just give me a second chance!"

"Not likely," Lapis said as she summoned a sawblade made of water that sliced Pietersite in half, barely giving her a chance to fight because the Crystal Gems now considered Black Rutile to be that pathetic to not even consider a grander defeat. To seal the deal, Little Homeworld was returned to its rightful place outside of Beach City with help from the Lapis Lazulis.

Black Rutile, Aquamarine, and Eyeball all fell to the ground in defeat, while the rest of the Rutile Rebels were brought together in chains. "I hate happy endings."

"Well, that should about wrap everything up!" Pearl sighed in relief once the dust settled. "Now then, it's off to Revanche 666 you all go!"

"And me too," Tanzanite added, much to Pearl's shock. "Even if I changed my ways, I still need to forgive myself for siding with Black Rutile too."

"Indeed, young Tanzanite." James began one final monologue. "At the end of the day, we are all but individuals crying for fairness in our lives. You won't get everything, but you'll get something. The Crystal Gems finally restore peace, while Black Rutile hopefully realizes how futile her schemes were. In the end, we just need to decide what is fair and what isn't."

"Oh, be quiet!" Black Rutile said as Hessonite and Spinel carted her away to the ship Andesine and Cinnabar hijacked in their prison break, while everyone was left to rejoice.

"So, that's all that happened?" Steven asked Connie a few days later over video chat. "Wow, sounds like you had quite the adventure."

"Yeah, and that's not even getting into what happened next," Connie stated. "First, Marty's now on the run from the law and lost everything. Then, Kevin got a key to the city."

"That's a phrase I never expected to hear." Steven laughed. "What else happened?"

"The Crystal Gems have all made up with each other and the Diamonds, and they're getting the therapy they need from Dr. Sucrose, Mr. Ikari, and Dr. Brenner." Connie continued. "Speaking of which, Brenner put Sally Grove under house arrest and is writing a book about the psychology of influencers, Neil Michaels is stuck doing ChikFlix movies to recoup his losses, Francis von Bowling is stuck in prison with Reginald Johnson, the president is still alive, and finally, the Rutile Rebels are all safely behind bars for what they've done. But I kinda doubt they'll stay there for long because evil geniuses are harder to squash than cockroaches."

"Hey, Connie!" Lapis cried while knocking on Connie's window, now back in her Crystal Gem uniform. When Connie peeked her head outside, she could see the other Crystal Gems outside her house. "You got a minute?"

"I'll call you back Steven!" Connie said before hanging up on Steven and racing outside to meet with her alien friends, no doubt to go on another adventure together. In the distance, the Officer was recording everything he saw and sending it to his masters.

Meanwhile, on Revanche 666, the prison was restored to order as the Rutile Rebels were locked behind the destabilizing fields in their cells.

"Hey, don't be so bummed out everyone!" Kyanite exclaimed. "We can make prison life fun!"

"Oh be quiet!" Zoisite yelled angrily.

"I did pretend to get sent to prison only to get sent to prison for real!" Amber added. "I'm getting anxious!"

"Hey, is no one going to check up on Black Rutile?" Dalmatian Jasper asked while pointing at Black Rutile sitting calmly in her cell.

"She's looking even mopier than me," Xenotime added worriedly. "I hope she's alright."

Hiding from the endless chatter of Zoisite's team, a restored Emerald, Morganite, Demantoid & Pyrope who were behind bars to repent, Black Rutile gazed emotionlessly at her hand as she wondered how it all came to this. So many months of planning have now gone to waste, once again because of the Gems' human friends. This made her finally ask herself one thing. "Is this still worth it?"

This went way longer than I expected, and with way too many characters I put on the cast list that didn't get a line! I've recently found it to be a bad habit of mine, and I hope to remedy that in future stories. I also think I kind of rushed this to be as big as possible while still meeting my deadline. But in the meantime, I hope you all enjoyed these past thirteen weeks and I get to enjoy a break at last and maybe pursuing either a story I haven't written yet or one I still need to finish. But for now, let's see what to come in the finale.

"Your Highness, we received another update from Aescul!" a snakelike alien told his master, another snake alien who was far larger and resembled a king cobra, as he received the news from their deep cover agent. "He says now might finally be the time."

"Excellent work, sir." The king cobra alien said to his subordinate while slithering away. "You are dismissed." The cobra then retreated into a mysterious chamber where he met with a shadowy figure towering above him. "It's time for the Gems to enter our contest, great Lapidarist." He declared to the shadow. "Soon, we shall return your children to you."

The shadowy figure began glowing a brilliant white light as it woke up, followed by shimmering with every possible color in existence while laying eyes upon its servant.

Featuring Voltaire as King Cobralan Jormagundr

TO BE CONCLUDED IN STEVEN UNIVERSE: SNAKE EYES

A FINALE THREE YEARS IN THE MAKING

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papermoonloveslucy · 11 months

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Lucy in Beverly Hills

Part 2 ~ The Episodes

'Thank God I'm doing "Lucy" and thanks for "The Beverly Hillbillies", "Dick Van Dyke", and the rest.' ~ Lucille Ball, November 4, 1963

~ Parallel Universes ~

Sometimes hillbillies turned up on Lucycoms - just not necessarily Beverly Hillbillies. Lucille Ball often blacked out her teeth and deepened her voice to play backwoods type characters.

In "Lucy and Tennessee Ernie Ford" Homer (Ernie Ford) and his family walk into a palatial penthouse and “The Lucy Show” suddenly feels very much like an episode of “The Beverly Hillbillies”. It is very likely that “The Lucy Show” cast Roy Roberts as the much-anticipated Mr. Cheever after seeing him play banker Mr. Cushing on "The Beverly Hillbillies". Robert Easton (who plays Iffie on "The Lucy Show") appeared in both the TV series and the 1993 film adaptation of “The Beverly Hillbillies.”

"Turkey Day" (S2;E4) presents what appears to be stereotypical Native American characters (aka "Indians") who are really just actors on a gig. On "Hillbillies" the faux 'Indians' are played by Benny Rubin and George Suwaya, two performers who were also seen on "I Love Lucy." Lucy's "The Indian Show" (1953) featured Ray Kellogg and Frank Gerstle as the pair. in both cases, the 'white' characters (Mrs. Drysdale / Lucy Ricardo) indulge in broken English and use now-offensive terms in a humorous context.

"Pygmalion and Elly" (S1;E10) riffs on the George Bernard Shaw play Pygmalion (filmed in 1938), which was the basis for the 1956 musical My Fair Lady (filmed in 1964). Both play and musical deal with the transformation of a lowly woman into the epitome of beauty and class. In 1962 Sonny Drysdale sets to remake Elly from a hillbilly into a woman of society. In 1972, Lucy transformed wallflower Annie Whipple (Ruth Buzzi) into a brazen showgirl on "Here's Lucy." This was Ball's second take on the story, having previously produced "My Fair Lucy" (1965) on "The Lucy Show."

In 1964, the Hillbillies went on location to Marineland of the Pacific. But they weren't the only only ones. A year later, "The Lucy Show" also shot on location at the marine park, kicking off the show's 'move' to California. CBS had previously shoots at Marineland for “The Munsters”. Coincidentally, Sid Gould, Gary Morton's cousin and a bit player in 45 episodes of “The Lucy Show,” played the Munsters' Marineland tour guide.

"Dog Days" (S6;E27) trots out most all of Frank Inn's canine cast - and then some. Dozens of dogs were also involved in "Lucy and Viv Learn Judo" (1963). Prominent among Elly's pooches is Lord Nelson, the sheep dog who played Mr. Mooney's pet on "The Lucy Show."

1963's "The Clampetts in Court" (S1;E32) finds the family being sued by the Johnsons (Murvyn Vye & Kathleen Freeman) who claim to have been injured in an auto accident caused by Jed. They are faking, of course. In addition to Vye and Freeman, the episode features "Lucy" regulars Roy Roberts and Bert Stevens. Similarly, in a 1972 episode of "Here's Lucy," the Carters find themselves in court when a dancer and his unscrupulous agent (Jim Bates & Jesse White) claim injuries from Lucy's negligence - until Lucy and Harry spy him dancing up a storm with an undercover Kim.

Elly Mae's affection for her 'critters' is not unlike Wayne Newton's on "The Lucy Show" and "Here's Lucy". In both episodes that the singer appears in (as himself), he is surrounded by a variety of barnyard animals. Lucy and Donna Douglas ignored the old show-business axiom: "Never work with children or animals."

"Jed and the Countess" (S3;E26) introduced Jean Willes as the Countess Maria. While she made only one appearance, Countess Henri Gaston Armand Jean-Louis Philippe Framboise Le Cul-de-Sac (aka Rosie Hannigan) played by Ann Sothern made seven appearances on "The Lucy Show" in 1965. Burt Mustin played Countess Maria's chauffeur. Mustin played Old Uncle Joe on two episodes of "The Lucy Show." Countess Framboise flirted with Mr. Mooney the same way Countess Maria flirted with Jed. Willes was seen in two films with Lucille Ball as well as an episode of "Here's Lucy."

The Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills and The Westland Bank were the banks featured (respectively) on "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "The Lucy Show."

When "Elly Becomes a Secretary" (S1;E35), Millburn Drysdale is guest speaker at the National Bankers Convention. Two years later, in 1964, Vinnie Meyers (Max Showalter) takes over for Mr. Mooney while he is away at a banker's convention in Bridgeport on "The Lucy Show." Meyers is said to be from the Jamestown (NY) branch of Mr. Mooney's bank.

In a 1967 episode of "Here's Lucy," Mrs. Carmichael is volunteered as a date for the 90 year-old president of the bank (Dennis Day) so he can attend the Annual Bankers Banquet. Naturally, she disguises herself as a little old lady and finds that although he is old, he is still very interested in the opposite sex!

"The Clampetts Play the Rams" (S4;E7) tackles two hot topics of the day: Football and Color Television. Lucycoms were no stranger to pigskin plots, the LA Rams in particular. The entire team was featured in the 1949 Lucille Ball film Easy Living. Other mentions include: "The Football Game" (1950), Lucy is a Referee" (1962), "Lucy The Skydiver" (1970), and "Lucy and Aladdin's Lamp" (1971).

Although not played by Stretch (aka Duke), Lucy Ricardo briefly encountered a Basset Hound named Rocky aboard the S.S. Constitution in 1956. Lonely, she briefly considers the dog as a ping pong partner!

"The Little Monster" (S5;E29) introduces banker Drysdale's obnoxious nephew, Little Millby, played by Teddy Eccles. A year earlier on "The Lucy Show," banker Mooney's unruly nephew Wendell, played by Jay North, visits his uncle Theodore in "Lucy The Robot" (1965). North is best remembered for playing cherubic menace named Dennis on his own sitcom. Coincidentally, Eccles played Arnold Mooney, banker Mooney's youngest son, on a 1964 episode of "The Lucy Show."

The Clampetts found themselves in England on several occasions. Most of their adventures were filmed in Hollywood, but the shows did include some location shooting with the principal cast, including of Buckingham Palace, a location visited by Lucy and Ethel in 1955. On "I Love Lucy," however, the Palace was recreated at Desilu. In 1966, Lucy Carmichael went to London in a special titled "Lucy in London." This time Ball and company actually visited England. Both the Clampetts and Mrs. Carmichael flew Pan American Airlines. Lucy Carter went to London in 1971 as traveling companion to talk show host David Frost. Once again Pan Am carried the characters across the pond. In return, stock footage of one of their jets was used, but viewers never saw anything more than Hollywood recreations of the interior of the jet and Frost's London TV studio. Faversham!

In "Race for the Queen" (S2;19) in 1964, Miss Jane competed with Elly Mae (and Granny!) for the titled Queen of Beverly Hills. In 1970, Lucy Carter competed with Carol Krausmeyer for the title of Secretary Beautiful. Both pageants featured celebrity judges: Bob Cummings on "Hillbillies" and Robert Alda on "Lucy". Naturally, and somewhat regrettably, both contests included swimsuit competitions!

In "Clampett City General Store" (S3;E3) Granny gets cast as Cleopatra in Mammoth Pictures' new epic. A year earlier, in 1963, Lucy Carmichael played Cleopatra for the Danfield Community Players. In both scripts, Theda Bara, who played Cleopatra in 1917, and the 1963 Liz Taylor epic are mentioned. Neither scripts acknowledge the 1934 Cecil B. DeMille epic starring Claudette Colbert.

A bus tour of Beverly Hills is part of "Dr. Jed Clampett" (S3;E5) and a 1955 episode of "I Love Lucy" titled "The Tour". Both feature second unit film footage of a tour bus driving through the palm-lined streets. On the bus, an obnoxious woman is aching to get off, despite the warnings of the bus driver. In "Dr. Jed Clampett", that woman is the mother of a tap dancing prodigy and the home is that of movie studio owner Jed Clampett. In "The Tour," that woman is Lucy Ricardo, and the home is that of movie star Richard Widmark.

In "Jed the Movie Mogul" (S3;E1), TV viewers (and the Clampetts) get a preview of a scene from the upcoming Universal film Send Me No Flowers. The scene features Rock Hudson and Doris Day and is shown to the Clampetts as dailies from a film being shot at Jed's Mammoth Studios. On a 1955 episode of "I Love Lucy" titled "Lucy and the Dummy" the host of the MGM executive show introduces a clip from their upcoming movie musical Guys and Dolls. After the first airing, the clip was removed from the syndicated print, while Send Me No Flowers remains part of "The Beverly Hillbillies" to this day. That same season, Lucy Ricardo met Rock Hudson on "In Palm Springs." BTW, both films were released in color, but seen on television shows filmed and aired in black and white.

Double Trouble

With so many episodes and so many seasons, it was inevitable that "Hillbillies" and "I Love Lucy" shared the same titles.

"The Ballet" (S3;E10) of the "Beverly Hillbillies" concerns Jed financially rescuing the Los Angeles ballet. Leon Belasco played the ballet master. He was seen on several episodes of "The Lucy Show," often in the context of classical music. "The Ballet" (S1;E10) of "I Love Lucy" has Lucy learning ballet to get into Ricky's act. Mary Wickes played the ballet mistress. Wickes played social climber Adaline Ashley on a 1967 episode of "Hillbillies."

"The Diner" (S6;E19) of "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "The Diner" (S3;E27) of "I Love Lucy" have more than titles in common. They both concern the main characters purchasing a diner. Jethro named his eatery The Happy Gizzard. The feuding Ricardos and Mertzes divide their diner. One half is named A Little Bit of Cuba, and the other side is named A Big Hunk of America.

~ Epilogue: Y'all Come Back Now!

When the Clampetts made the cover of TV Guide in November 1962, it was Lucille Ball who got top billing - with a line over the masthead promoting her TV special with Danny Kaye. "The Beverly Hillbillies" made the cover nine times - while Lucille Ball reigned as queen of the Guide with 39 covers.

"Return of the Beverly Hillbillies" (1981) featured Lucy regulars Lurene Tuttle as Mollie Heller as Charles Lane as Chief, both of whom were in the original series. Lucille Ball never presented a 'reunion' show as such, she simply reinvented her Lucy character with a new last name, just as she did in 1986's short-lived "Life With Lucy."

In addition to comic books, both shows were novelized for young readers.

#The Beverly Hillbillies #The Lucy Show #I Love Lucy #Here's Lucy #Send Me No Flowers #TV #CBS #Guys and Dolls #Lucille Ball #Vivian Vance #Raymond Bailey #Nancy Kulp #Irene Ryan #Max Baer Jr.#Carol Burnett #Buddy Ebson #Donna Douglas #Frank Inn #Marineland

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