#God loves you so much he broke himself to offer you the promise of heaven

[scobbe]

The thing to understand is that in the ancient world, in rituals of agreement between two parties, in the sacrifices of animals made in the binding ritual, the animals would be cut in half, the two parties making the promises passing between the halves as if to say, “If I break my word, this is what will be done to me — I will be killed and cut in two.” From this came the wording, “to cut a covenant.”

So when the bread is broken in the Eucharist, the body of Christ, the Passover sacrifice, “this is my body broken for you,” that is God, giving himself as a sacrifice for the promised covenant, that he will indeed take you back in eternal grace and everlasting life. That is the promise he is making to you every time the bread is broken, every time the blood is poured out as wine. It is all about a promise, an agreement he is offering to us. To be sacrificed, over and over again, as this offering of eternal life.

This is what continues to stun me about Christianity. It is complex and layered in ways “Jesus saves!” hardly conveys, in ancient practices so foreign to our modern world they almost seem savage. Yet to this day something about it continues to get to people. Something about holding up a piece of bread and breaking it in two resonates somehow and makes us say “Yes,” and come forward to participate in that offer from God. And something about that changes people’s lives.

It is a great mystery, far beyond all that has ever been done in its name, good or bad.

[seekfirst-community]

The following reflection is courtesy of Don Schwager © 2023. Don's website is located at Dailyscripture.net

Meditation: God offers his people abundant life, but we can miss it. What is the bread of life which Jesus offers? It is first of all the life of God himself - life which sustains us not only now in this age but also in the age to come. The Rabbis said that the generation in the wilderness have no part in the life to come. In the Book of Numbers it is recorded that the people who refused to brave the dangers of the promised land were condemned to wander in the wilderness until they died. The Rabbis believed that the father who missed the promised land also missed the life to come. God sustained the Israelites in the wilderness with manna from heaven. This bread foreshadowed the true heavenly bread which Jesus would offer his followers.

Jesus is the "bread of life"

Jesus makes a claim only God can make: He is the true bread of heaven that can satisfy the deepest hunger we experience. The manna from heaven prefigured the superabundance of the unique bread of the Eucharist or Lord's Supper which Jesus gave to his disciples on the eve of his sacrifice. The manna in the wilderness sustained the Israelites on their journey to the Promised Land. It could not produce eternal life for the Israelites. The bread which Jesus offers his disciples sustains us not only on our journey to the heavenly paradise, it gives us the abundant supernatural life of God which sustains us for all eternity.

The food that makes us live forever

When we receive from the Lord's table we unite ourselves to Jesus Christ, who makes us sharers in his body and blood and partakers of his divine life. Ignatius of Antioch (35-107 A.D.) calls it the "one bread that provides the medicine of immortality, the antidote for death, and the food that makes us live for ever in Jesus Christ" (Ad Eph. 20,2). This supernatural food is healing for both body and soul and strength for our journey heavenward.

Do you hunger for the "bread of life"?

Jesus offers us the abundant supernatural life of heaven itself - but we can miss it or even refuse it. To refuse Jesus is to refuse eternal life, unending life with the Heavenly Father. To accept Jesus as the bread of heaven is not only life and spiritual nourishment for this world but glory in the world to come. When you approach the Table of the Lord, what do you expect to receive? Healing, pardon, comfort, and rest for your soul? The Lord has much more for us, more than we can ask or imagine. The principal fruit of receiving the Eucharist or Lord's Supper is an intimate union with Christ. As bodily nourishment restores lost strength, so the Eucharist strengthens us in charity and enables us to break with disordered attachments to creatures and to be more firmly rooted in the love of Christ. Do you hunger for the "bread of life"?

"Lord Jesus, you are the living bread which sustains me in this life. May I always hunger for the bread which comes from heaven and find in it the nourishment and strength I need to love and serve you wholeheartedly. May I always live in the joy, peace, and unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, both now and in the age to come."

The following reflection is from One Bread, One Body courtesy of Presentation Ministries © 2023.

do you believe?

“I Myself am the living Bread come down from heaven.” —John 6:51

Jesus said: “The bread I will give is My flesh, for the life of the world” (Jn 6:51). At the Last Supper, Jesus took the bread and the cup of wine and said: “This is My body,” and “This is My blood” (Mt 26:26, 28). When many of Jesus’ disciples broke away from Him because of such statements (see Jn 6:66), Jesus didn’t change His words or explain them away as symbolic statements. The early Church realized this; therefore, they took Jesus’ words as He clearly meant them. They believed they were receiving the Body and Blood of Jesus when they received Holy Communion. The Church, from Jesus’ time to the present day, has believed this, lived it, and even died for it.

Do you believe you receive Jesus’ Body and Blood, soul and divinity, when you receive the Holy Eucharist? If so, Communion is the center of your life, one of the most important events of your life, and the greatest time of each day. If you believe what Jesus said about Communion, you will probably try to receive Communion daily, frequently visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, and tell others about Jesus’ Eucharistic love.

Shortly before Jesus died, He gave the apostles Communion. On the day He rose from the dead, He again gave two disciples Communion. Jesus is also preoccupied with giving His Body and Blood to us, His disciples, today. Open your eyes to recognize the risen Christ (Lk 24:30-31). Today, and even daily, receive Communion.

Prayer:  Father, may I desire to receive Jesus in Holy Communion as deeply as Jesus desires to give Himself (see Lk 22:15).

Promise:  “Philip launched out with this Scripture passage as his starting point, telling him the good news of Jesus.” —Acts 8:35

Praise:  Jane volunteers at a hospice care facility where she has been led by God to help prepare the dying to meet Him.

Reference:  

Rescript:  Although in a new place and with a new job, Robert continued to spread the Good News to those he met.

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

[heyheyloki]

All Because Of You

Summary: The reader goes to find Castiel before the angels get to him.

Castiel x M!Reader

Castiel being human, losing his grace, was perhaps one of the most interesting yet hardest thing you had faced yet. Forget God. Forget Lucifer. Castiel human topped all of those for a simple reason. Now, it was incredibly hard to keep down your own human feelings that had stirred up for him a long time ago, and plus, yanno, all the Angels and Demons on the hunt for this one Angel who rebelled against Heaven and all that.

It's been a few days since you left the bunker to go look for Castiel. Sure, Dean and Sam weren't happy, but you knew you couldn't wait any longer for them. It's been weeks since Castiel went on the run and sitting around doing nothing but worrying about him was not good for your mind. You needed to see him, protect him, and make sure he was safe and by your side.

It took a three days to get to Detroit, the last place anyone saw Castiel or 'Clarence', as he called himself. You got the led from a group of homeless individuals that talked to Cas before he picked up a ride in on a truck that was heading to Detroit. This was probably the hardest part of the search. Lucky for you, growing up with the Winchester boys helped when it came to this kind of situation. Still, with all your skills, it was Detriot. A large city with many people, but the people may be your advantage.

"Excuse me," you hummed out to a man who was currently making burgers on the side of the road. The only thing that led you talking to him was Castiel's vessals love for red meat. Now that he was human, Jimmy was probably talking to him a lot more now. "Have you seen a dark haired, blue hair man around here? He would have probably acted a bit out of it?"

"Uh," the man thought for a moment. "Nah, sorry, no one really comes to mind."

"It's alright, thank you." You sighed, parting from the man and getting back on the move.

You took the rest of the day nonstop looking for Castiel with no leads whatsoever. Person after person either said they didn't remember someone like that, or saw so many people that day that it was impossible to even try to remember one man. This race against the clock was getting harder and harder, and frankly, it was getting irritating. All you wished for was Castiel to be safe. He could be hungry, or homeless--but safe was all you wanted cause in the end you knew you could fix both of this issues--all of his issues-- if you just found him.

As you were deep within your mind to try and make up a new way to find the fallen angel, the rain that touched your skin shoved you back into reality. Your eyes gazed as the raindrops that wet your skin before looking up at the dark clouds that surrounded you. A deep sigh filled with worry released from your lips before taking a few steps forwards. Perhaps those few steps were all you needed. Well, that and the rain. When you took those steps you heard a noise, one that would capture almost anyone’s attention. You paused, stood still before turning your head down an ally that seemed to be behind a restaurant.

Down the dark and rainy ally was a man who wrapped himself with this black hoodie he wore. His hair was soaked, not to mention his clothes, but that freezing cold look in his eyes broke your heart beyond anything you've felt before. The darkness obscured the man's face until you took a few steps down the ally. At first you were going to offer the man some food and direct him to a nearby shelter, but the minute he quickly shot his head up to see who was approaching him, everything changed. No matter how much time apart you have from him, you can never forget his face but you noticed that the first thing to go about a person was their voice. You thought that was the saddest thing to ever exist but when you heard it call out to you of all people, remembering his voice again was like seeing him for the first time all over again.

"[Name]?" Castiel croaked out.

You didn't speak but instead nodded to confirm it was you, and not a part of his imagination.

With the weather, you didn't waste any time to get both Castiel and you some shelter. A few minutes of pretending to be someone else and using another's money got you a relatively small but sufficient apartment for the time being.

When Castiel entered the apartment was dark given the time of day, but you quickly turned on the lights after you shut and locked the front door.

"Wow, it’s beautiful." Castiel commented as he looked around.

"It's an apartment that cost a 2,000 dollar deposit, it better be beautiful." You replied as you began to lock and shut all the entrances which included the windows as well.

Castiel kept his eyes on you as you did so, but when he noticed you were finished with your task he asked, "How did you find me?"

You turned to him and placed your hands into your pockets. "Oh, yanno, all my hunter skills went into work and here I am."

"Why aren't Sam and Dean with you?" He asked curiously.

You sighed at the question before taking a seat on the sofa that was provided with the apartment. "I didn't want to wait around. They thought it was dangerous, and it probably was but I don't know, I just couldn't stand being in that bunker wondering if you’re alive or dead."

Castiel's head went down for a moment, his own human mind now spinning with thoughts he wondered if he would ever have if he was still an angel.

"I apologize for worrying you." He suddenly said in more quiet tone. "That was never my intention."

"I know." You smiled before patting down the space next to you. "Come sit and lemme see what you got there."

Castiel's head went on a tilt before he remembered the wound he had on his left upper arm he got from fighting one of the many angels that were out on the hunt for him. The former angel complied with the request, mostly because of his trust and fondness of you.

When he sat down, you turned towards him and began to unbutton his white shirt after he took off the soaked hoodie. Castiel watched your attentively as you did so. The way your hands played with his shirt and the focus that was seeped deep into your eyes as you did so. Once his shirt was open, you gazed back up and into his eyes. He watched a faint smile, a comforting one, stretched across your lips before slipping the shirt off his shoulders and exposing his entire upper body.

Your eyes shot to the bloody rage he used around his arm, mostly just to stop the bleeding. Worry of an infection took place in your mind, but luckily that didn't seem to be the case.

"Look at you," you whispered. The words catching Castiel's attention quicker than ever before. "You're lucky this isn't infected."

"I suppose so." He replied under his breath as he continued to watch you, never once looking away.

You hovered your finger over the wound that was slanted across his bicep. The fact that it hadn't healed wedging itself into your mind making you say, "You really are human."

"Yes." Castiel said. "The whole experience has been very tiring."

You laughed at that, the chuckle that came from your chest making the former angel experience something that he hasn't before. Sure, he got chills from the cold or rain, but never from a simple laugh.

Next, you began to examine the wound. Overall, it seemed to be healing fine but you really wanted to clean up the dried blood that pooled around the actual cut. So, you grabbed a cotton pad and dabbed some rubbing alcohol on the surface.

"This may sting a bit," you warned Cas before gently patting it against the wound. You watched his face scrunch up a bit as he got used to the stinging sensation. Though, in the end it seemed like he took the pain rather well.

You smiled as you placed the pad on the table next you, your hands picking up some proper bandages before commenting, "You took that better than Dean. You getting used to being human?"

"Ah, it's all new to me. Hunger. Cold." He explained, his eyes meeting yours as he said, "This feeling of being alone."

You stared at Cas for a moment. Yes, he was still the same, and yet so much about him was different. He was learning how to understand human emotions, and after all this time it just took being human to truly get it. To you, it explained how truly complex human emotions were. Something about this Cas pained you in more than words could explain, and for some reason the desire to comfort him was absolutely overwhelming.

"You aren’t alone anymore." You said. Your mind focusing on one action, and one alone. You knew it would disappear until you acted on it, so, you carefully leaned in and gave the man a gentle kiss upon his cheek. The stubble he grew while away tickling your skin. When you backed up, you gave a kind smile and said, "I won't let you be alone, I promise."

Castiel remained silent, yet his eyes remained connected with yours until something clicked in his mind and they darted right down to your soft, vulnerable lips. He would be lying if he said he never studied them before, but right now the urge he wanted to act on for so long was stronger than ever. When he noticed you doing the same, something snapped. Castiel didn't waste any time to lean in and connect his lips with yours. At first, something told him not to rush or else you'd get scared away. So, he waited for you to make the next move and when he felt your lips sensually move against his, his next move was to do the same. At first, he really had no idea how to go about kissing and all he wanted to do was to impress you in the best way he could. So, he mimicked you, but if you had your eyes open and noticed his furrowed brows, you would instinctively tell he had absolutely no idea what was going on. All he knew was that with you, it felt better than he could have ever imagined.

Exploring your body was perhaps one of the best things he had gotten to experience as a human. Everything was so overwhelming in a way that he never would have dreamed. Though, perhaps the best thing about the entire thing was that it was with you. The way your squirmed underneath him, the sounds you made when he pleasured you, not to mention the way you made him feel was something he wouldn't trade up for the world to the point where he felt almost saddened when his body tired out on you.

Both of you laid on your backs, the sheets covering up to your abdomens, with this dazed looks in your eyes. Still, with that look something in your human mind wanted him to say something. Say anything.

You turned your head to him, his gaze still aimed up. "Well? Say something."

Castiel took in a deep breath, his eyes darting around as you noticed him try to think of something until he said, "There aren't words."

You stared at him before turning on your side, your body still facing him. "So, it was okay?"

This was the time Castiel turned to make eye contact with you. His injured arm raised, the palm of his hand against the back of his head. He stared at you for a moment before saying with a small smile, "Very much so."

You smiled a bit to yourself until you noticed his face go from happy to concerned, which prompted you to get a bit more serious for him. After all, you didn't want to make him feel embarrassed.

"Um.." he mumbled out. His eyes darting down and up again in a nervous fashion as he asked, "What I did, that was, uh.. correct?"

You couldn't help a large smile to snake itself across your lips as you nodded with a soft, "Very much so."

"Good," he said with a look that mirrored yours. And the smile he shined was almost designed to make you even more infatuated with him. And that laugh after--God that laugh--hearing it was everything to you.

You stared at him for a moment before calling his name. His head turning to you as your prompted yourself up and into his chest. He couldn't exactly make eye contact with you, but just having you right next to him, especially in this state, was more than he could ask for.

"Before, my promise? I'd like to add on to it." You suddenly said. The words confusing Castiel greatly, after all, the promise you made to him before was like music to his ears. What more could you say that could make him even more of a fool for a human like you?

"You don't have to." Cas said.

"But I want to." You cut him off and took a deep breath. You turned your head a bit, snuggling into him more and giving him a soft, loving kiss on his chest before saying, "I promise to protect you. To the end of the line because you mean more than family to me."

Castiel didn't waste anytime to take his arm around you, holding you closer if that was even possible. The words you spoke probably meant more to him than anything he's heard in his life. After all, with you, it was like you changed him from the inside out in ways that he never even imagined when he first met you.

"I promise as well, [Name]."

[prose-for-hire]

Broken ego, bruised heart

Part one

Pairing: Spike x reader

Request: some of you asked for a second part to “heart-shaped bruise” and here it is! Not sure if you wanted something more resolved but this is where it went !!

Warning: more angst

Requested by: @castiels-lilass  @cameo-greaves & @blue-serendipity​

You stared out of the window, you were exhausted. You barely moved from this spot and yet every night you collapsed into bed as if you had run a marathon. Your emotions pained you. Your heart ached to see his face, even a glimpse. You knew you wouldn’t feel so bad if only you could see his stupid beautiful face.

Maybe you could pretend again, just forget what you had said. You could ignore it. Push it down. Fantasise about it in private and be his friend again. Because at least then, you could have even a small part of him. You wouldn’t lose so much in such a short space of time.

You had been avoiding Spike. And Buffy, for that matter. You loved Buffy to death and she was a close friend but you couldn’t face her. Not after everything you had admitted to Spike. You hated them, hated that they were together. Were waging this war against you. Your feelings. And yet you still couldn’t help but hold that fondness. 

All you did was stare into the bleak night. You barely woke in the day anymore. Your longing kept you up as nocturnal as your love. 

No, not your love. Spike. His name’s Spike.

God, why was this so hard? Why did even his name conjure up wild thoughts of awe and suggestion?

You kept your distance because you had to. You would drive yourself crazy having to hear him speak about how much he loved her. How much he liked you. Would have kissed you if you had agreed to it. 

Oh, why hadn’t you agreed? It was all you ever thought of. His lips on yours. A kiss that would show him just how much you felt. The unending pool of longing that you had been wading through since your first meeting.

Because you wanted love. The kind movies spoke about. Books told you about. Sweeping, unending, monogamous love. You wanted eternal adoration. Unending affection. And you couldn’t escape it. You longed for it. Ached for that feeling almost as much as you ached for the man himself.

He just wanted you back. He adored you. It had started to unravel upon your admittance. But now it was freely taking up ever spare part of him. The parts that weren’t already filled by her, of course.

You went on a walk. To clear your head. But you soon realised that your thoughts travelled with you. And without even looking up you had walked there. To his crypt. To him. You started to back up, walk away but he had sensed you. Couldn’t miss this chance to see you, even if it was a glimpse.

He saw you, his chest rose at the mere sight of you. His love for you had been growing, finally blooming with the light that you brought back into his life.

“Don’t go” he whispered but you heard it. As if he had said it in your ear. Because you so wanted to hear it.

You turned around and followed him into the crypt. But stayed mostly near the door, as if you were about to up and leave again.

“I’m not sure if I should be here” You admitted, half-turning to leave.

“You can’t keep doing this, love- uh, y/n” His voice made you pause, rooted to the spot.

He said your name. He said your name and your spirits lifted. To have your name on his tongue. For him to taste every letter of it. For him to speak it. To lower himself to say your name. To want to share the sound with your ears. You so wanted to do as he willed. If you didn’t think, didn’t stop yourself, you would slowly begin to gravitate towards him. A moth to a flame or some other cautionary metaphor about getting burnt in this way.

“Don’t walk away, please? Not again, damned near broke my ego last time” He said this when you didn’t reply. He had missed your voice so badly.

“Yeah? Well you bruised my heart, Spike. It’s... black and blue” you sighed, trying not to consider that even the way you mixed your metaphors meant you were destined for each other.

“Let me fix it? I’m here, right here - now. For you”

“Tell me you love me?” You whispered, eyes cast to the floor.

“I love you” 

Those words. Your heart stopped. He truly said it. Meant it too. 

And you saw that look in his eyes, the one you had imagined him giving you. The way they shone in the dim light. The way he looked at the ground after because he could barely maintain eye contact. Because it meant so much to him. You had imagined him looking at you this way, you could even now faintly hear the music that you had composed for this very moment.

This look held so much promise. Your heart began to soar again. He was looking at you that way. The way-

The-

The way he looked at... her. Buffy. 

This thought pulled you back down to Earth from the heaven you had been ascending to.

“Tell me you love me more than her”

Silence. He couldn’t. He couldn’t ever tell you that. He looked at the ground, wishing that this love was enough. That the fact he did hold you in such reverence, wished to spend his time and thoughts on you was enough. That he loved you as much as Buffy.

He didn’t want to lose you. Wanted you just the same. Couldn’t choose between you and yet if he could, to ease the bruising from your chest he would. If he could make Buffy hurt less when she was with him, he would.

He shook his head, eyes threatening to stream with emotion that he couldn’t properly decipher. And if he did begin to speak those thoughts aloud he may only upset you further. He never wanted to see you upset. He never wanted to see your face twisted into such unfathomable sorrow. The way it was now.

You shone. In his eyes, you glowed with an ethereal quality he couldn’t begin to describe. Nothing he could write would ever compare to you. How he felt about you.

He adored you. Wanted you with him. Your personality complimented his so beautifully. You made him look forward to seeing you. The way you could light up a room. Your good nature. That small ember of affection had only grown stronger with the time you spent apart.

But he couldn’t convey this to you. Not before you saw it.

You looked at him, at the furrow of his brow. At the way his face had softened and threatened to spill those hopeless buckets of salt he had told you about before. 

You saw it. Saw him as he was. Suddenly. It hit you like a punch to the face. Violent but needed. 

Snapped you out of something you had long been trapped by. You saw without the pretty metaphors or the way that your infatuation had coloured him to your liking. A paint by numbers that had you dizzy. A poster of his face you kept in your head, that you could kiss before bed each night.

You shook your head at his words, seeing him. Maybe truly seeing him for the first time. Just as a man. Not this statue-esque beauty that you couldn’t touch less you tainted him. He was trying. He was never perfect and you had loved him then. You had craved perfection where there hadn’t been any to begin with. He was flawed, but no less loveable even now you were seeing him properly.

To have even a small part of him, to kiss him the way he had offered. Would it really matter that she had done the same? That her heart lived with his too?

There were two sides of a locket, perhaps you shared half each. Split down the middle and encased. For him. You looked up, almost saying that it didn’t matter anymore. That you could live with it if it meant you could be with him. Spend your time with him again. That a whirlwind romance was never going to be realistic. That hopeless romantic notions should have been burnt to cinders years before this aching tryst. Maybe, you could have him that way. Maybe just being with him, sharing a connection was enough.

But then you saw her in the doorway, she had come to find him. A stolen moment that was supposed to be theirs and here you were in their way. In the way of their love.

You knew now that would only ever taste her on his lips. The poisoned touch of a love that he could so easily cast you for. The poison that you would have drunk yourself even a month ago just to be in his presence. You would have done anything just to be with him. Even if it meant that your dying breaths would be his.

But seeing her there confirmed it. That he was just a man. She, a woman. You someone that could have easily been one of them. Were one of them. They didn’t seek to harm in this place. It was just the way that the cards had been dealt.

They weren’t waging a war against your heart - they weren’t even trying to wage one against each other. You nodded, smiling through your tears. They were freely falling now. Mournful and real. Perhaps the most reality you had tasted in a long time. Your damp face now getting cold as you walked towards the fresh air. You nodded at Buffy as you left. 

You wouldn’t do this again. You wouldn’t look back this time. Wouldn’t slip.

[pandoraimperatrix]

caught between goodbye and I love you

DickKory | Pining | Eventual smut | Two shots | Post season 3 AU

Chapter 1: My heart is a sad affair

Chapter 2: Too many moonlight kisses seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

Kory’s hands slid from Dick’s head, massaging his temples and cheekbones, spreading little butterfly pecks around his face to let him breath between her hungry kisses. Then, her hands kept going down, kneading his broad shoulders, easing away any tension he might still have, he shivered as her long nails scratched his chest downwards until her fingers reached his trousers, popping the button of his fly.

“Kory, wait,” he managed to say, using all his willpower to hold her hand from going further.

“Hmm,” she made, her mouth was now sucking his earlobe, Jesus fucking Christ, that woman.

“Wha-“ She somehow managed to step further into his personal space, her thigh rubbed against his crotch and Dick had to suck a breath in. “What do you mean?” he asked again voice trembling, not sure of how he was able to keep coherent.

His heart sunk when she sighed and pulled her hand from his, he was an idiot, she clearly didn’t come to chat and he was ruining everything. But to his surprise, she didn’t escape from their embrace, just pulled her face from the curve of his neck, her now freed hand grabbing his chin to make him look at her. God, she was so gorgeous, and the demanding way she handled his body made his skin sizzle.

“I meant,” she started, her thumb on his lower lip, “that, what I said the other time, I… I lied. I don’t see you as a friend. Well,” she smiled, that gorgeous smile of her, equal parts angelical and full of promises of exciting dirty things. “I do. But not just a friend-”

Read on AO3

As much as her rambling added so much to her charm, since it was so rare to see Kory uncertain of her words, he had been holding all those feelings, for so long torturing himself with the reality in which she told him that she didn’t feel like that for him back, and now, out of the nowhere... He just couldn't let it all go and enjoy. That was not him. It had to be a catch, something wrong. And if he was right about that, maybe he was right about the other stuff too. About how he had been carrying his fear of losing her at any second.

So, he had to ask again. Any bitter truth is better than a sweet lie.

“Why?”

“Why?” she chuckled and then kissed his jaw lovingly, ready to go back to where they were.

“Kor… Why did you lie?” He coached, his voice low, he was barely managing to keep it together, but he needed to know.

“Oh…” her eyes lowered, and she trembled, that helped him to emerge his attention from the pool of desire he was drowning.

“Kory, there’s something happening, isn’t it?” She closed her eyes, a guilty expression taking hold of her beautiful face, Dick held her firmer, he was starting to panic. That was his confirmation; her presence in his life had always been so good to be true. He always knew that. All this time he had been blaming his paranoia on the chip on his shoulder and his broken heart, but he had been correct. He this was a goodbye.

“Kory, please,” he kissed her cheek, and pulled her for a full hug, desperate for her to prove him wrong once more. To laugh at his fatalistic ways and tell him to relax. “Talk to me.”

“I’m going back to my planet,” she said the phrase he feared the most, each word drilled into his heart, he didn’t answer anything, just held her firmer, as if he could keep her forever like that “I can’t stay here.”

He sucked air in, and pulled apart just enough to see her beautiful face. Shiny tears stained her cheeks.

“But you and you sister agreed-“

Komand’r had left a month ago taking with her official proof that Kory was giving up her royal right to her sister and announcing that Earth was her new home.

“She sent me word from Tamaran. They still won’t accept her. I have to go, wear the crown, do my duty.”

“But-“

She was caressing his face again, the pads of her fingers softly following the lines on the surface of his skin, as if she was trying to learn every little part of him by heart…

“I’ve known for a while that would happen,” her voice broke, she pressed her face on his chest, grabbing the fabric of his shirt with both hands. “That’s why I lied to you” still horrified and confused, he caressed her hair, breathing in her scent, trying to make sure it was memorized, that no matter where she’d go, she’d still remain somehow within him.

“I didn’t want to make this harder than it has to be….” She continued, wiping her tears away. “But I decided that my last selfish act would be you. I’ve wanted you for so long.”

He couldn’t resist the way she said that last phrase and smashed his lips against hers again, pulling her impossibly close. Kory made a needy surprised noise that alone was enough to make him hard again, and when he pressed her against his dresser he made sure she’d know.

She pushed his chest away, and turned around, Dick understood the message, pulling her hair to the side and spreading open mouth kisses down her neck. She caught his eyes through the mirror, and although her smile reflected pure bliss, the new tears persisted to fall.

That wouldn’t do. He didn’t want their last night to be so full of sorrow.

“You have no idea,” but she continued, as his hands slid down her back, purposely ignoring the zipper of her dress. “When you went back together with Barbara” he answered the bitterness in her voice with a bite, she grabbed of his hands and pressed it against her breast. “I tried to convince me that it was alright,” his free hand reached her hips, marvelling at their perfect roundness, he strummed the silky fabric of her dress, pulling the seam up until his hand lied flat of the skin of her bare thigh.

“I thought…” it was becoming hard for her to keep talking and although he felt a wave of pride for rendering her speechless, his inquisitive mind still wanted to understand, and he wanted her to find relief by dumping all the weight she had been carrying alone all this time “that it was how things s-should be. Oh Dick-“ his fingers found the lacy edge of her underwear and Kory chocked. When he pulled his hand back to her inner thigh she let out a suffering sigh and continued with her explanation. “Even if I hurt. I thought… I thought things would be alright if you were happy.”

He had no idea that she was hurting that much too. He held her closer, resting his forehead against her neck.

“I thought if there was someone else to look after you,” instead of firm and needy, the grip on his hand on her breast became tender, “and help you with our kids... But then Rachel and Gar begged me to stay and you helped me to delude myself that there was a possibility…”

“Me?” One thing was she saying that she had feelings for him, another was she offering sex as a parting gift, and another completely different was she saying that what made her believe she could stay was him. Because that gave him hope, and hope is a very dangerous thing.

She looked shy for a woman who was just seconds before rubbing against his hard-on when she turned in his embrace again.

“You just had broken up with Barbara, and I couldn’t deny you anything because I was…” she swallowed, his heart was beating so hard he could almost hear it. Kory said a string of fast tamaranean words.

“Kory?”

“I can’t say it. Please don’t make me. This is bad enough, if I say it… I am… I… I fooled myself. This, us, it was too good to be true. Our little family, never in my life, I thought I’d ever get something like this. I never thought I even wanted it. But, after everything, when we came home, I knew you still had feelings for me… And X’hal…” she trailed off and looked away for a moment, but then raised her chin defiantly, a fierce expression in her face, green eyes shining with something akin to fury. “I wanted to accept them. I wanted to say fuck my duty, our family is better than that. I’d much better to be obligated to the you and Rach and Gar. Fuck the all our differences, I’d take the little I had with you over eternity with people that would kill children and their own daughter for power. I love my family and Tamaran. But that’s not enough anymore. I was afraid this would happen, but I didn’t want to believe it would be this soon, and now… Now…”

“Now what?”

She held his face between her hands again.

“Now this is all I can offer you. This night.”

“We’ll find a way,” he begged, picking one of her hands and kissing her palm.

Dick had never seen her smile turn up so sad.

“Please don’t this. I don’t want to pretend. I’m so tired of lying to you and I’ll have to pretend to the rest of my life. This might be the last night I will ever have to be myself, to be with you. I need this to be real.”

What else could he do? She wanted real. He’d give her real.

Dick pulled her up as his lips claimed hers again, her powerful legs crossed around his hips. He held her up like that for a while, just enjoying the feel of her body pressed flush against his. His hands giving her support by moulding her round butt with his palms. Kory took one of the hands off his hair, bending her arm backwards so she could rub him through his trousers. Dick let out a moan and she used the opportunity to make a wet path of kisses across his cheekbones, until she reached his ear. She whispered something in her native language and licked his earlobe.

Dick he walked backwards until his chins hit the bed and he fell sitting with Kory on his lap. She stopped her ministrations to pull her hair from her face and look down at him.

“Hey,” she said, her eyelashes were still wet, but her tears had stopped falling, she looked so… No wonder she belonged to the heavens, no being on planet Earth could be so perfect.

“Hello,” he answered.

Kory leaned her forehead against his, and Dick’s hands slid upwards through her back, searching for the metallic pull tab of the zipper, but his hands kept getting trapped by her voluminous curly hair.

“Kory, some help, please?”

She let out that hearty laugh of hers, deeply amused by his lack of skill, and pulled her hair up, the smile never leaving her lips.

“You are so gorgeous,” he vowed against her lips as he reached for the fastening of her dress again, this time having success in his endeavour.

“You are very pretty yourself, Mr Grayson,” she teased between kisses, with the back of her dress open, he started, kissing her shoulders as he pulled the straps of her dress down.

“I should have known that day, when I first saw you in that arcade, that you couldn’t be from this world.”

She laughed again and recoiled when he hit a ticklish path on her neck.

“You were so mad at me,” she giggled.

He forced his lips away from her skin so he could look at her.

“You stole my car!”

Kory pulled his locks away from his eyes with the tip of her fingers.

“I was very rude to you,” her fingers lowered from this forehead to the valley of his eyebrows to the tip of his nose.

“I fell in love right there,” he said, very serious, maybe just realising it.

“Don’t be silly.”

“I mean it.”

And she believed him. Kory kissed him again, rocking in his lap. Then she pushed him, making Dick fall on the bed, Kory looming over his body like a big cat.

“Oh, all the things I want to do to with you Dick Grayson…” she said in a husky tone.

“Please,” he whispered.

“Please what?”

“Whatever you want.”

She giggled and leaned towards his face, Dick moved to meet her in the middle, but in the last moment, Kory kissed his throat instead, making him let out an disappointed whine. She smiled against his skin, going downwards, making him sigh. Dick caressed her soft hair, sliding his hands through the newfound naked skin of her back, smirking when he felt her shiver. As nice as it was to go so slow, he just couldn’t turn off the part of his brain that knew the only reason why they were trying to stretch that night as long as possible, was because they wouldn’t have another.

He found his hands under her dress again, and pulled the shimmering fabric all the way up this time. Kory stopped her work on the buttons of his shirt to raise her hands up to help him. The golden tones of her dark skin glowed under the penumbra of his room, like she was her own source of light, and maybe she was. There was so much he didn’t know about her. So much that he’d never be able to find out now.

Dick pressed his hand against her belly, and looked up to her through his lashes, she was smiling again, observing his reaction. When he noticed that, he gave her a puzzled look and Kory shook her head.

“Come up here.”

He obeyed, catching her lips again, Kory rocked against him, and this time Dick rocked back against her, seeking that so desired friction. His hand slid between then, finding her core.

Oh Lord, he broke the kiss, breathing hard.

“Fuck, Kory, you have a pool here.”

“Yeah?” She said, trying to rub against his hand. “What you’re gonna do about it?”

Dick pressed his fingers against the fabric of her underwear, god she felt so hot, his fingers slid easily over the drenched lace, testing up and down, side to side and round motions to see what she liked best. He decided he found the one when Kory moaned loudly, and her hips started moving, assisting his own movements, her arms wrapped around his neck for dear life. When he felt she was getting, close, he, pulled the fabric aside and inserted two fingers, his thumb continuing to rub her clit and Kory screamed, her nails breaking the skin of his neck. Her other hand grabbing her own breast as Dick continued his onslaught, refusing to kiss her only so he would lose each blissful expression his ministrations created on her face.

He chuckled when her orgasm hit and she seemed to lose control of her movements to a fit of spasms. Dick kissed her temple as she calmed herself.

“Kor?”

“I’m fine.”

“Better than fine I hope.”

She let out a hoarse laugh.

“I can be better.”

“I hope for that too, we’ve barely started.”

She took a deep breath and raised her head from the curve of his neck.

“My turn!” She looked down at him. “How come you are still fully dressed?”

“I have a greedy princess for lover, you see.”

She rolled her eyes and made a quick work of his shirt that was already half-opened.

“Hmmm we have a problem.”

“What?”

“I can’t take off your pants and stay on your lap at the same time.”

“You’ll have to climb off first,” he suggested in a breathy voice.

She just gave him a look as if he said some absurd nonsense.

And then Kory’s eyebrows raised, her expression clearing as she quite clearly had an idea, Dick licked his lips and waited as one of her hands snaked down and ripped the fabric of her own thong. He was breathing incredibly heavy already for someone who did cardio sessions twice a day when her other hand grabbed his neck. His Adam’s apple bobbing against her palm. Looking straight into his eyes, Kory reached into his trousers and pulled his penis off its enclosure. She gave him a couple feeling pumps and Dick closed his eyes hard.

“Look at me,” she demanded.

Dick drew a shaky breath before blinking his eyes open, obeying. She smiled so, so sweetly before pushing her wet folds against his cock, stimulating both of them without penetration.

“Don’t!” she warned in a tight voice when threatened closing his eyes again.

Dick grabbed the sheets of his bed trying to hold himself together for her while Kory mercilessly rubbed her juicy sex against him, until was too much and he pushed her aggressively against the bed making Kory cry out in surprise and frustration. He didn’t let her down, thought, kneeling on the carpet and worshiping her dark smooth thighs. God, he haven’t even noticed before, but she was wearing those translucent knee high nylons. He had spent so much freaking time fantasising about that particular garment when she first appeared wearing them. How he had survived so long without having a hornyness-induced stroke living with Kory was beyond him.

He licked clean the juices dripping from her vulva first, holding his laughter as she let out a string of words he new were curses until he finally decided to take her off her misery giving the attention she so craved to her pussy. Dick fucked her with his tongue, using his thumb to keep flicking her clit at the same time.

He rose his head alarmed when she reached her climax again and he heard a loud crash. His lamp, once on his nightstand, was on the floor across the room, on fire.

Kory started to move to fix it, guilt mixed with tendrils of the pleasure of the mind numbing orgasm she had, but Dick just raised a hand to her. In no time he had put out the fire with a towel from his en suite.

Then he sat beside of her on the bed, and they exchanged a look before laughing together.

“That was pretty dangerous,” he stated after the worst of laughing subdued.

“Shut up and take off your pants already, Grayson.”

He did, well aware of her eyes on him as he worked. His feet were already bare he was about to take his night shower and get ready to sleep when she appeared at his door. Dick noticed she moving towards her own boots, but he stopped her.

“Let me.”

“Really? Last time you couldn’t take them off.”

“Nah, I just wanted to see you come while they were still on.”

“Kinky.”

He grinned and pulled the zipper of the first boot down, unwrapping her leg as if it was a rare fragile antique instead of the powerful murder weapon it could be. Not that he would mind dying between her legs. He actually couldn’t think of a better death.

Dick climbed back on the bed, lying beside Kory, she lazily turned her body towards his.

“Ready to go again?” he asked, one hand under his chin and the other playing with her beautiful curls. When they met they were to bright, he kind of missed it, lately it had been getting redder, he wanted to know what colour they would turn next, but he never would.

“What is it?” she asked, noticing the shadow on his face?

He could tell her and make her sad, he could lie, but she’d know and she asked him to be true. So, he dove for another kiss, covering her body with his and pulling her legs apart to fit better between them.

Her hands travelled across his back as they kissed, her still encased in the high socks feet slid from his calf to his butt pressing against it. When he was getting used of the feeling of her all putty and languid under him, Kory seemed to get over her afterglow stupor and pushed him.

“Up!”

He looked down.

“Has been for a while now.”

She snorted. She loved how free he felt to be silly when there was only the two of them. Kory wished he was more carefree like that regularly, but also felt a bubble of pride for how comfortable she made him feel.

“Dork. Come on, you’re not going to regret it.”

She let him give her another lazy kiss before he pulled off her, standing up, waiting with his hands on his waist. Kory pushed her body up with her forearms and sat down. She gave him an enigmatic smile before falling forward in fours. He was already moaning before her lips even touched him. Kory used one of her hands to hold her upper body horizontally and with the other she grabbed Dick’s hips and pulled him towards her in a powerful motion. She kissed his navel and licked downwards. He held his breath when the nails of the hand holding his hips scratched their way toward his balls, cradling them before she grabbed the base of his impossibly hard penis and sucked the tip.

“Fuuuuuck,” he moaned as she started swirling her tongue down, spreading kisses through the entire length. “Kory, oh my god-“ he chocked as her hand slid down, stimulating his balls again as she sucked restlessly, until the tip of her fingers rimmed him and pleasure was blinding, his ears were actually buzzing.

“Kor, Kor Kor, stop,” he begged unable to physically pull away. “Jesus, please, stop or I-“

Luckily, she did, he took a few breaths before opening his eyes again, afraid that even looking at her would make him come too soon. He tried to think about Krypto’s disgusting food to calm himself until he was allowed to contemplate actual sex goddess Koriand’r again. Dick could hear her giggling, that siren. But he’d show her.

When he decided it was safe enough, Dick opened his eyes to find Kory kneeing on the edge of the bed, looking at him with so much love – because as much as he understood her unwillingness to say it, he knew, oh he knew – his eyes stung.

“Come here,” he said opening his arms, and she hugged his neck, kissing him as Dick finally unfastened her bra. Hey threw the garment over his shoulder after freeing her, and leaned down to give attention to her breast. Just like everything about her, they were perfect, and he was more than happy to suck one of her black nipples as she caressed his hair lovingly. He gave equal treatment to the other one, but as he could feel her becoming restless, Dick pulled Kory up again. She snaked her hand between them, positioning his cock, and with one swift motion, let her weight descend over him. Dick let her ride him like that, standing up. She cried out, her hips moving against his frenetically, her arms and legs locked against his waist and neck for dear life, he tried to give her support by holding her butt cheeks, but she didn’t seem to need it, it was almost if she was flying.

She came again, almost bringing him with her, but thankfully without setting anything on fire. Dick took advantage of her high to pull her up, rising her to his shoulder and licking her again, overstimulating her until Kory lost all remaining control.

Dick lied her on the bed again, kissing her neck softly as she returned, his hands sliding up and down her thigs. Kory sighed.

“I don’t think I can come again,” she said, one of her thumbs was caressing the new bullet wound scar on his shoulder, the one Babs gave him. Kory was so mad. He wanted to kiss her so hard that day. If only Gar wasn’t there too…

“I’ll try my best,” he picked the hand on his scar and kissed it.

“Aren’t you so hardworking?”

He chuckled and entered her again, this time going slowly. The sun was rising through the horizon, reminding them that even that night had to end too. She held his face, smiling, but the tears were falling again. He kissed her cheeks, cleaning them with his love. And then, when the morning sun hit her hair, creating an purple aura around her hair, he came.

She was still under him when he opened his eyes again, she didn’t seem no more willing to let him go than he felt of leaving her body.

“I’m fighting for you,” he said, very serious.

Kory sighed, and turned her face away.

“You can’t.”

“Kory-“

“Please, don’t talk, I want to enjoy this just a little longer.”

Dick climbed off her, but pulled Kory’s body for a hug, she lied her head over his heart, fitting, for even universes apart, she was its rightful owner and always would be.

------------

Where is my clown make up? This thing ended being 6k anyway lmao. But I wanted to take part in the trend of extra-long DickKory sex scenes. It’s a very nice trend, you see.

Well, I hope you all liked it. I plan to make a sequel, but Fortuna knows when it will come out. I do have a lot of WIPs that need attention.

And now I’ll watch today’s episode, I told myself I wasn’t allowed to watch it until this was over.

Please comment!!!! And reblog!!!

[dhwty-writes]

To Hold and Kiss You, Gods Be Damned

Another one of @spielzeugkaiser‘s requests: "secret relationship". I hope you’re happy now

Summary: Geralt apologizes after the mountain and he and Jaskier get together. Still, they have to keep their relationship secret. Hurt, no comfort, implied/referenced homophobia

Read on AO3

Geralt was in love. He knew he shouldn't be; he knew it was dangerous, he knew there were even some who thought it impossible. A witcher in love. Ridiculous. But it wasn't. But he was.

He had fought tooth and nail to prevent it from happening because after one look at that ridiculous bard he'd known it was inevitable. He had tried everything: gruff words and gut punches in the beginning, then more gruff words, a djinn wish to bind him to another (which had almost cost the bard his life, he'd never do that again), more gruff words, shouts, an ugly dismissal. All to no avail.

It was torture being apart from Jaskier, after twenty-two short years of laughter and music, twelve long months of silence followed. Twelve long years of broken-hearted ballads and that was when he knew for sure. When he heard another bard sing and his heart still broke with the ache of it. That was also when he knew that his secret affections were not unrequited. Spring came and he left Ciri with his brothers, and he himself set out again as soon as the snows allowed it.

He rode hard and fast for a different hunt, chasing every trace of his bard he caught. And when he found him in a tavern he fell onto his knees where he sat in a corner, begging him to take him back.

"I thought you didn't want me," Jaskier said with a voice as cold as ice.

"I did. I do. I lied," Geralt confessed, still on his knees, fidgeting nervously with his hands. "I can't- I couldn't- I mustn't lose you. I know it's inevitable. But I thought if I lost you because I chose to, it would be easier. It wasn't. It isn't. Please, Jaskier, I know I don't deserve it, but please, let me love you again."

"Love...?" Jaskier echoed as if he didn't believe it. "You love me?"

"Yes." How could he not?

"Not here," he said decisively and stood. The touch on the witcher's arm was nigh unnoticeable but enough to get him to follow him up to his room.

The door fell shut behind them and Jaskier turned with tears in his eyes. "Tell me again," he whispered.

"I love you," Geralt answered. "I love you; I love you; I love you." It felt almost like a prayer. "Will you forgive me?"

The bard released a shuddering breath. "Kiss me," he pleaded and Geralt did. It was the easiest thing in the world, with his whole body aching for it. It was like breathing. Like suffocating. Like waking up.

Jaskier pulled away to breath and leaned his head on Geralt's shoulder. "Don't do this to me again," he sobbed and Geralt wished he could cry, too. "Don't do this to us again."

"I won't," he promised. "I won't, never again, I swear it."

"How?" he asked agonisingly.

"Come to Kaer Morhen with me," he murmured and cautiously tightened his arms around his waist. "Let me take you home."

"Alright," Jaskier answered and that was all he needed to hear.

They set out at sunrise on the next day, settling into an almost familiar rhythm. Only that everything was different. They travelled together again, that much went unchanged, and Jaskier sang and talked like always. But he had a horse now, too. Apparently singing of heartbreak was very lucrative. And he wasn't the only one talking anymore. More often than not Geralt actually joined in the conversation, giving his opinion on songs, and rhymes, and untrue lines. There was laughter, too. A lot of laughter. It was heaven on earth.

And in the privacy of their room, in the dark of an empty clearing, he was allowed to touch, too. To touch, and kiss, and show Jaskier exactly how much he loved him. As he could, with his deeds instead of words. He never wanted anything to change.

He knew that it would, though. They had agreed upon it on that very first night when Geralt had apologised: neither Ciri, nor Triss, nor any of the witchers needed to know about them. In fact, it was probably better if they didn't. The likes of them had never been welcome in Cintra nor in Temeria. And while there had been witchers known to bed their brothers or other men, he wasn't quite sure how Eskel and Vesemir would react. Or gods forbid, Lambert. He'd be an arsehole about it, just like about everything else.

It was for the better. They would manage. They had managed for twenty-odd years, after all.

So, when they arrived at Kaer Morhen one month and a half later, there were no grand gestures despite what Geralt wanted. No kisses, no hugs, no carrying his bard over the threshold. No shared bed, no lazy kisses and missed meals; not even a wink or a casual flirtation.

Instead there were two rooms, two beds, only warmed by the pelts within. For Geralt there was love and warmth, a hug from Eskel, a kiss on the cheek from Triss, Vesemir nodded and Lambert insulted him lovingly, and Ciri clung to him for an entire day.

Jaskier was greeted by the old ruin with all the cold and loneliness Kaer Morhen had to offer. It made Geralt's heart shatter to see him glancing warily at the grey walls, to meet the cold stares with defiance where he should be met with laughing eyes. It was almost enough for him to break his promise and tell them. But not quite.

The bard shot him a lifeless smile and bowed before Vesemir to thank him for his hospitality. Then he went to his knees before Ciri and placed his lute at her feet. "I know that I don't have much to offer, princess," he confessed. "But what I have I pledge to you. I hope that you might accept my oath."

The kneeling bard made everyone in the courtyard uncomfortable and Geralt quickly pulled him to his feet again, careful not to let his touch linger.

After that awkward first meeting life quickly settled back into a familiar rhythm. Geralt took his lessons with Ciri up again, filling his spare time with chores. He barely saw Jaskier safe for the evenings when he had offered to perform for the witchers. But he knew from Ciri that he was teaching her, too. History, literature, and languages, and suchlike. It wasn't like they would've wanted it to be, but at least they weren't apart anymore.

And sometimes there were even nights when they could steal away from the others, fleeing to the top of crumbling towers where not even the other witchers would follow. Only to spend a few precious hours in each other’s arms before they had to go back to pretending.

"I'm sorry," Geralt whispered against Jaskier's lips. "I'm sorry it has to be this way. I'm sorry this is all I have to offer."

"Shh," he soothed and gently stroked his hair. "Don't be. I chose this, too. It's better than being alone. Better than being apart." He kissed him desperately. "Better to know. Better not to fear-" He choked on the words but Geralt knew what he was saying anyways. 'Better not to lie awake at night, fearing our last goodbye was the last to ever come.' Better than nothing.

[speechlessxx]

Secret’s Out (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Steve Rogers is a terrible liar.

Warnings: this was rushed (literally came to me in my sleep so im sorry if it’s kinda on the bad side), Bucky and Sam being an iconic duo, nothing bad really happens it’s just humorous. 

I’m not gonna lie this is more Bucky & Sam teasing Steve than it is Steve x Reader. 

Word Count: 2.1k 

Feedback is appreciated! I hope you enjoy!

THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF Heaven is in Your Arms

Steve Rogers is a terrible liar.

Everyone knows. He’s god’s righteous man. He’s America’s golden boy – the perfect soldier. Steve Rogers is many things, but a good liar is not one of them.

His tells were clear as day. He’d advert his gaze, he’d blush a bit, his brows would furrow, or his fingers would tremble slightly. Sometimes he’d completely ignore a question so that he wouldn’t have to provide an answer. Only those who really knew the soldier knew exactly what to look for.

“When can we see this new place?” Bucky had asked one afternoon as Steve stopped by the compound to train. Steve pretended that he didn’t hear his friend as he directed an agent to use their agility against an opponent twice their size. Bucky chuckled a bit.

Sam walked up to the two men after his session in the weight room. His skin glistened with sweat as he put his arm on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky scowled at him, shrugging his sweaty arm off. “So, Steve, it’s been a year since you moved out. How’s the city life?”

“It’s great.” Steve responded just before he barked instructions to the agents. The other two shared a glance.

“You see, Bucko,” Sam started, “to get Steve to answer you, you gotta ask the right questions.”

“Is that so?” Bucky asked, mockingly.

Sam nodded with a smirk. “You gotta make this man sweat a little.”

“Don’t you two have some reports to finish?” Steve cut in.

“Reports were mandatory?” Bucky asked, his brows shot up in surprise. Steve and Sam frowned a bit and looked at their older friend with concern. “I’m kidding.” (He was not).

“Any sweet ladies in the city that you would like the team to know about?” Sam asked. Steve’s muscles stiffened as his jaw clenched. Sam and Bucky immediately took notice of his reaction. Steve’s silence gave them all the confirmation. “Hmmm… We can give you lady advice, Steve. You know we got you.”

“You guys are as bad as Natasha,” Steve muttered as he shook his head. (Little did they know that their advice wasn’t needed).

The following day was Steve’s day off. He promised you a picnic at the park as his apology for the 5-day mission that turned out to be a week and a half. You wore a thin light blue sweater and he wore his signature civilian get up – compete with the plaid button up and slacks. Of course, he made casual look dapper.

You laid out the blanket and flattened it onto the grass before you sat down. Steve placed the wicker basket in the center of the blanket before he situated himself next to you. He threw you a grin as you opened the basket.

“What’s got you in a happy mood?” You asked him as you pulled out your sandwiches.

He shrugged. “I don’t know… just happy to be here with you.”

“That’s cute, Rogers,” you chuckled.

Steve smirked as you began to eat. “This is great, honestly.” He said, taking a bite into his food. You quirked an eyebrow up at him as you swallowed. “You, me, picnic in the park. City’s not being attacked by aliens.” You laughed. He smiled. He loved hearing you laugh.

“What’s the next threat? Zombies?” You joked.

Steve gave you a teasing look. “That’s confidential.”

“Oh, please tell me it’s zombies. I’ve been binge watching zombie movies and I’m 100% certain I’ll survive.” Steve rolled his eyes as you ranted on about zombie survival 101.

“I’ve fought Nazis, Aliens, Titans – please, please, let it stop there. No zombies,” Steve chuckled.

“Scared, Steve?” You taunted.

He scoffed. “Not when I have a zombie expert by my side, darling.” You teasingly looked away. “Wait, you will be by my side during a zombie apocalypse, right?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but – “Steve’s jaw dropped in fake betrayal. You immediately took back your words. “Wait, no! Steve!” You reached over to him, but he snatched his hand away. You gasped. “How rude!”

“You have the audacity to leave me to fend for myself!” Steve pouted.

“Pouting doesn’t look good on you, Stevie.”

He gasped again, a hand flew to his heart. “Now you’re just trying to break my heart, doll.”

“Come here, you big baby,” you rolled your eyes at him as you pulled him to a kiss.

When you pulled away, Steve said, “oh, I think my heart is still broken.” He pulled you back in and smiled into the kiss.

“Oh my!” A woman’s voice gasped. You two broke apart and saw Margaret, your neighbor, strolling around with her yorkie.

“Miss Margaret, it’s pleasure to see you.” You smiled at the woman and she returned it.

“Clearly not as pleasurable as your little moment,” she teased which caused you to blush. You chuckled awkwardly as you looked away. “I’m glad to see you both out and enjoying this lovely day. You know how these millennials are nowadays. Always indoors, playing on their little Instachat and SnapPay.” Steve chuckled at her wording. (Before he had met you, he’d often mix up the social media platforms himself). “Oh, (Y/N), would you be a dear and walk the pup for a bit? I can’t bend down – “

“Oh, I can – “Steve began, but Margaret was very adamant that you were the one to go. Without hesitation, you stood up and took the leash from her. You cooed at the yorkie, who was very excited to see you, as you walked away.

“Now, Stevie,” Margaret said, her tone becoming stern, “have you gotten the ring?” Steve smiled as he admitted, yes. “Do you have it on you?”

“I’ve been waiting for the right time,” Steve confessed.

“Now’s a perfect time if any,” Margaret pushed. “She’s such a sweet girl. You’re a great man. You’ve been together for a while now…”

“I don’t want to ask her at an inappropriate time. I haven’t even decided what to say,” Steve admitted with embarrassment. He was known for his remarkable, inspirational speeches but for some reason he’d become speechless when he tried to propose. Every time he had the opportunity to pop the question, he became a fumbling, babbling mess that he just dropped it altogether. The velvet box he carried in his pocket for months became heavier and heavier.

“Practice, sweetheart.”

Steve sighed as he tried.

In all honesty, they could’ve done better. Hiding out in an inconspicuous van made look even more suspicious. But the two grew impatient and desperate as they parked the black van (minutes after you’ve left to walk the dog).

“What do you see?” Bucky asked Sam who had binoculars pressed up against his eyes.

“He’s talking to an old lady,” Sam muttered. “Oh, my god.”

“What?” Bucky asked, trying to take the lenses but Sam shoved him away.

“He’s asking this old lady to marry him!” Sam screamed. This time Bucky was successful at tearing the binoculars from Sam’s grip.

“What the hell, punk,” Bucky muttered.

“Damn, I knew he had a girl, but I didn’t know he had… a grandma…” Sam laughed. “Steve really took Nat’s ‘get a girl with the same life experience’ thing too seriously. She’s probably been alive as long as you, Bucky.” The two erupted into fits of laughter.

“Sammy, you owe me 10 bucks.”

-=+=-

Steve showed up to the compound the next with a big smile. He had done it. He had actually done it. And you said yes despite his stuttering and ‘um’s. You said yes.

“So, Stevie,” Sam started as Steve began to lift weights. “Anything fun happen on your day off?” Steve didn’t respond.

“Yeah, punk, anything interesting?”

“Actually,” Steve muttered as he lifted the weights with ease, “yeah. Something interesting did happen.”

“Oooh?” Sam stifled his laugh. “Do tell.”

“I will later.” Steve promised.

Nat walked into the gym and frowned at the two men who huddled around Steve. “Are you sharing stories around the campfire or are you working out?” She asked the two.

“Gossiping,” Sam answered.

“Steve walked in with the biggest grin on his face,” Bucky explained to Natasha as he walked over to another machine.

“Oh?” Natasha smirked as she sauntered over to Steve. “This have something to do with a girl?”

“A lady?” Sam asked.

“An old dame, perhaps?” Bucky added. Steve shot him a confused stare before shrugging.

“Perhaps.”

This made Sam and Bucky burst out into laughter again.

-=+=-

You fumbled with the ring as you rode anxiously in the taxi. The ring was dainty and elegant. It wasn’t too flashy (not that it needed to be). It was simple and beautiful – much like the life that you were building together. The man offered you a kind smile through the rearview mirror which you returned. “Avengers Compound, huh?” He asked. “You a recruit or something?”

“Oh no,” you shook your head, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Just visiting someone.”

“Must be one hell of a someone to be working there.” The man laughed. You chuckled.

“He sure is.”

-=+=-

“Why are you calling a meeting?” Tony asked Steve with an exasperated look on his face. He had just returned from a trip to MIT with Pepper. He was clearly tired. “And why aren’t we in the meeting room?”

Steve sighed as he looked towards the front doors. Any second now.

“Steve wants us to meet someone,” Sam explained. He and Bucky shared a look as they both stopped themselves from laughing.

“Cut it out,” Natasha scolded.

“Oh, you’re gonna be laughing, too,” Bucky mumbled. “Just wait.”

Suddenly the entrance opened, and Steve immediately ran towards it. You gave him a nervous look while he gave you an encouraging smile. He took your hand in his as he walked you towards the group. Bucky and Sam immediately stopped snickering.

“Okay, everyone, this is (Y/N).” Steve introduced. Everyone was in a standstill. “She’s my fiancé.” There was a moment of silence as Bucky and Sam tried to piece together their puzzle, only to realize they were looking at the wrong picture the entire time. Unless Steve magically had the Time Stone and reversed your aging, you definitely weren’t the elderly woman in the park.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” Natasha finally smiled as she walked up to you and gave you a warm embrace. “He’s kept the details to himself. Not much of a talker.”

You nodded, the nervous smile still dancing on your lips. “So, you’re the reason why Steve left?” Tony asked, abruptly. “Left the compound, I mean.”

You glanced at Steve who shook his head. “Uh, no… I told him to stay. He’s the stubborn one.” Natasha laughed at your response.

“Wait, wait,” Sam said, shaking his head. The confusion still fresh. “That old lady in the park from yesterday? She isn’t who you proposed to? Because I vividly remember seeing you get on one knee and ask her.”

“You were in the park?” Steve asked.

“We both were.” Bucky admitted.

“You proposed to Margaret?” You asked, a laugh escaping you. Steve blushed. “Aw, Stevie!” You gushed as you kissed his cheek. “When you told me you were nervous, I didn’t think you were that nervous.”

“So, Margaret is?”

“Our neighbor,” you laughed.

“She asked you to walk her dog so that she can scold me for not asking already.” Steve confessed to you. “She helped me pick the ring out months ago.”

“Months?” Tony asked, brows rose in surprise. “C’mon, pal, you gotta step up your game.”

“Happy had been carrying around a ring since 2008, sit down, Stark,” Natasha defended. She asked if she could look at your ring. You held up your hand and she marveled at the diamond. “Nice taste, Rogers.”

“Wait,” Steve cut in. “You guys thought I was dating Margaret, my elderly neighbor?”

“Whose old enough to be my grandmother’s grandmother?” You asked.

Bucky and Sam nodded, shamefully. You and Steve laughed. “Why were you guys stalking me?” Steve added, frowning a bit.

“You weren’t answering our questions.” Bucky answered. “We were curious.” Steve opened his mouth, but Bucky pointed at him, accusingly. “Don’t say ‘you could’ve asked’ because we did… You just wanted to keep your life a secret. And you’re a terrible liar.”

Steve gaped at his response and looked at you for your input. You shrugged. “You are a terrible liar, babe.”

“Wow, thanks, darling.” Steve said sarcastically.

“Well, secret’s out.” Sam clapped. “Steve Rogers officially off the market, for good.”

“Hey,” Bucky said, bumping Sam’s shoulder. “You owe me ten dollars.”

Sam shrugged him off. “Man, get off me, you little roach.”

[deancaskiss]

Tinsel and Tourists Chapter Twenty Five (Epilogue)

Word Count: 2,281 (Here we are, y’all! The final chapter! I hope y’all enjoyed the story, and thank you for all the wonderful comments and likes/reblogs! 💙💚 Another long one, so the chapter is continued under the Read More)

Dean’s POV

Link to ao3 / Link to masterpost

Dean pressed the call button, heart leaping in his chest just like it always did. Cas answered on the second ring; deep voice instantly filling the phone’s speaker and causing Dean’s heart to kick up in his chest. A year later and Cas still had the same effect on Dean. Sam called it the honeymoon phase. Dean argued they were well past that at this point, having been together for an entire year, and yet Dean was still just as crazy about Cas; maybe even more head over heels for him.

“Hello Dean.” Soft and tender.

“God, hi handsome. Missed your voice,” Dean said, rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.

“Missed you more,” Cas said. “I know you had to drop into radio silence for that case, but I swear that was the longest two days of my life.”

“Sweetheart, you have no idea,” Dean said, leaning against Baby’s hood, closing his eyes as Cas’ voice filled his ear. Unless he and Sam were on a case, Dean made it a priority to talk to Cas on the phone every morning and every night. And even two days without talking had felt like a lifetime without Cas.

"Are you okay? Did it go well? Are you hurt?" Cas rapid-fire asked. They were the same questions Cas always asked after a case when Dean called him, and he thought it would piss him off, but if anything, it just made Dean's heart clench tightly in his chest.

"I'm fine. Everything went well, as always. Couple minor scrapes and a cut on my forehead, but we took out an entire nest of vamps," Dean said.

"Proud of you," Cas said, so much tenderness in his tone that Dean felt dizzy with it. It was enough to have him stuttering for air; lungs tightening at Cas' genuine pride.

Too much attention on him, Dean quickly changed the subject. “Talk to me, Cas. Tell me what I missed.”

“I have one piece of good news, if you want to hear it?” Cas asked through the phone.

“You know I do,” Dean replied.

“I finally found a roommate, for when I move next summer for culinary school,” Cas said cheerfully.

“Still can’t believe you’re going to be so close. That you chose to go to South Dakota,” Dean said, almost wistfully. When Dean had helped Cas apply a few months ago, he’d never expected Cas to want to look at any schools outside of Vermont. But when he saw a brochure for one of the culinary schools in South Dakota, his stomach had flip-flopped and he’d forgotten how to breathe. It was only a few hours from Bobby's place in Sioux Falls, and Dean swore he'd never been so happy in his entire life.

"Think I made the right choice," Cas hummed. "Anyway, back to the roommate thing."

Dean felt his insides twist a little. Not like he was jealous. More like nervous. Nervous that he could lose Cas to some other guy. "Um- who is it? Someone I should be worried about?" Dean joked, even though his tone fell flat.

"Dean, I've already told you I'd marry you if you asked. And that's not something I take lightly considering my broken engagement in the past. But if you asked, I'd marry you in a heartbeat. That's how much I love you, Dean."

Dean let the words wash over him, reassurance and contentment burning a warm glow in his pocket. "Love you, too," he murmured quietly. "Alright, lay it on me. Who's your new roommate?"

"Well, it's someone who already has my heart," Cas said with a laugh.

"Are you deliberately trying to make me jealous?" Dean teased.

"Mmm, you are hot when you're jealous," Cas said, voice dropping into something breathy yet deep, making Dean shiver with desire. “But no, it’s someone you already know and love.”

Dean frowned. The list of people he loved was short, and it surely wasn’t Sam moving in with Cas. But before Dean could ponder it anymore, Cas spoke up again.

“It’s Libby!”

“Libby? But that means she would have to move, too,” Dean said, a little dumbfounded.

Cas laughed, full and bright. “The only reason she’s still in Evergreen is because of me. Plus, it’s not like it’s hard for her to find a half-and-half cook and waitress position anywhere in the country. So when I told her I still needed to find a roommate to pay for rent, she offered. She gave me that puppy dog pout-“

“Damn girl is impossible to say no to when she does that,” Dean agreed, having been on the receiving end of her pouts when she wanted something more times than he could count. He wasn’t sure when Libby had become part of his family too, but she had. Her and Sam were always up to something- whispering and laughing- sometimes even teaming up with Gabriel to cause mischief when he and Sam stopped over in Evergreen for a few days. Somehow, this rag-tag team of misfits had become family, and Dean adored every second of it.

“So? What do you think?” Cas asked carefully.

“About you and Libby living together? God Cas, why is that even a question you need to ask? I love it. Having you both that close to Bobby’s is a dream come true. More time spent with you between cases sounds like Heaven.”

Cas heaved a sigh of relief, and then there was quiet shuffling before a car door opened and then snapped shut.

"Whatcha doing, sweetheart?" Dean asked, perking up.

"I promised I'd help out with the last minute prep and decorations for the tree lighting tonight, since last year was so successful, " Cas said, more shuffling as he grabbed things from the bed of his truck. "Are you sure you won't be able to make it by tonight for the tree lighting?"

"We've only made it as far north as Pennsylvania," Dean said, trailing off. Not yet. Not yet. Just a few more seconds.

Cas sighed, a broken sound. "I-I really wanted my boyfriend here as my date. Since you were my date last year, even though we weren't together yet," Cas said quietly.

God. Dean knew it. He'd been planning for this. The memory of their double date- of their conversation on the rooftop and hot cocoa and their almost first-kiss under the mistletoe- was still fresh in his mind; one of the best days of his life.

"What if I didn't want to go to the tree lighting as your boyfriend?" Dean asked.

"Oh great. You suddenly embarrassed to be seen in public with me or something?" Cas asked, a sting of betrayal in his voice.

“What?” Dean asked in shock. “No, Cas! No. God, no! That’s not what I meant at all. Of course I’m not embarrassed to be seen in town with you. I was trying to be romantic… shit. Can I try that again?” Dean babbled.

“What are you even talking about?” Cas said through the phone, confusion weaving into his voice.

“What if I don’t want to go to the tree lighting with you as boyfriends? What if I want you to be my fiancé?” Dean asked, voice catching in his throat.

“Dean?” Cas asked breathlessly.

Now or never. Dean pushed himself off of Baby’s hood, stepping around the corner and onto mainstreet into Cas’ path.

“Surprise,” Dean murmured.

“Dean,” Cas gasped, dropping the string of lights in his hands and barreling into Dean’s arms; instantly melting into his embrace as their lips crashed together in a desperate kiss. “How? What? Dean, I-”

“Drove all night to get here. You really think I was going to miss the tree lighting?” Dean said, pressing the words against Cas’ mouth.

“Dean what’s- what’s going on?” Cas asked, pressing little kisses to Dean’s mouth as if he couldn’t stop himself from slotting their mouths together.

For just a second, Dean allowed himself to savor the kisses, brushing a hand over Cas’ jaw before pulling away. “What’s going on is this,” Dean said, leaning his forehead against Cas’ softly.

“Castiel Novak, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve told you that a million times, but it’s never any less true. Any time I’m not with you, I ache for you. I spend every minute of every day desperate to get back to you. And when I’m with you, nothing else matters. You become- you are my everything. I’m so- God, I’m so achingly and desperately in love with you, Cas. My heart is yours. I’m yours, Cas, wholly and completely.

“You being my boyfriend… it’s been good. So good. I’ve never been- Cas, you make me happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. I want… I want to make you mine in every way possible. I want a future for us, which is never something I thought I’d want or deserve.

“I want to call you my fiancé. My husband,” Dean said, as he slowly dropped to his knee. “So, Soon-To-Be-Chef-Castiel-Novak, the love of my life, please marry me?” Dean asked, pulling the box out of his pocket and showing Cas the silver ring inside.

Cas choked out a gasp, tears spilling down his cheeks, before he dropped down next to Dean, arms latching around Dean’s neck as he crashed their mouths in a breathtaking kiss. “Yes,” Cas said, word muffled against the hunter’s mouth as he kissed him. “Yes, yes, yes. Dean. Oh God. Yes a million times,” Cas gasped.

“Yes?” Dean asked, shock running down his spine as Cas’ words rang in his head.

Cas laughed, breathy and happy, and Dean couldn’t stop himself from kissing Cas again, just to feel that happiness pressed against his mouth.

“I told you on the phone ten minutes ago that I’d marry you if you asked,” Cas said, gummy smile absolutely blinding. “I love you. Dean, I love you. Hell yes, I want to be your husband,” Cas said.

Suddenly there was an applause and cheering behind them, and they broke apart to see Libby, Sam and Gabriel, phones out recording. “I may have told them I was proposing so they could capture the whole thing,” Dean admitted, pressing one, two, three fast kisses to the corner of Cas’ mouth.

“God, you’re something else, Dean Winchester,” Cas said with a laugh, the massive smile on his face so gorgeous it made Dean’s heart ache.

“Can I put this ring on your finger now?” Dean asked, fumbling to pull the ring out of the box.

“God yes,” Cas said, linking his hand with Dean’s and allowing him to slide the ring on.

As soon as the ring was snuggly on Cas’ finger, Dean brought Cas’ hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips to the ring. “Love you.”

“I love you. So so much,” Cas said. And then in a fast move, Dean was yanking them to their feet, arms settling around Cas’ neck as he pulled him close, chasing Cas’ mouth. They stood that way for a long moment, kissing soft and slow as the moon and stars twinkled above them.

When they broke apart, Dean rested his forehead against Cas’. “Thank you,” he murmured.

“What for?” Cas asked, tilting his head to bump his nose against Dean’s in a tender touch.

“For saying yes. For making me happy. For being you. For everything,” Dean said quietly.

“You’re such a sap,” Cas replied, even as he stepped impossibly closer, linking his arms around Dean’s waist.

“You guys are so sickening,” Libby yelled, earning a laugh from Cas and a good-natured middle finger from Dean.

“So, my fiancé. I’ve been on the road all day. Where’s my hot cocoa?” Dean asked, grinning broadly, fingers dancing up to tangle in Cas’ hair.

“Mmmm,” Cas pondered. “Come ice skating with me before the tree lighting and I’ll make you all the hot cocoa you want.”

Dean grinned. They hadn’t gone ice skating together since February, and Dean had been desperately trying to get back to Evergreen since November so he could go back out on the ice with Cas. The pair of ice skates Cas had customized for his Christmas present last year had a permanent spot in Baby’s backseat, where Dean could see them.

“Deal. As long as you don’t let me fall,” Dean teased.

“Too late for that. You fell for me a long time ago, Dean,” Cas shot back, smirking.

Dean couldn’t even deny that. And, as he moved to put the empty box back into his pocket, he remembered what he’d stashed in his other pocket. Slowly, he pulled the mistletoe out, letting Cas see it. “Call back to our first date,” he said with a smile. “Although, I don’t plan on leaving you under the mistletoe this year.”

The loved-up look on Cas’ face made Dean’s heart melt, and God, he truly couldn’t believe this man was his fiancé. Pressing into Dean’s space, Cas made a show of reaching into his own pocket, pulling out his own clump of mistletoe. “Was hoping to kiss you silly under the mistletoe, too,” Cas laughed.

“Well then,” Dean said, snagging the mistletoe from Cas’ fingers and holding both clumps over their heads. “C’mere and kiss me, my husband-to-be.”

Wrapped in each other’s arms, Dean kissed Cas under the mistletoe; heart thudding in his chest with the overwhelming love he felt for the beautiful man he got to call his. They kissed and kissed, and Dean never wanted the blissful moment to end. It felt like Heaven. It felt like coming home. Cas was his home.

Finally, with his fiancé’s lips pressed against his own, Dean was happy.

Tag List Part 1 Below- (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list!)

Tag List: @cas-deserved-so-much-more @hello-x-sunshine​ @bibelphegor​ @likepurplemuses​ @expectingtofly​ @neo-neo-neo​ @shadowywerewolfqueen​ @a-sweet-indisposition​ @feraladoration​ @xojo​

@oganizediguana​ @paintdriesfaster​ @adsp-destielcockles​ @destielangst​ @im-your-huckle-berry @justa-crayon​ @dea-stiel​ @superduckbatrebel​ @destielfactory​ @miluiel-erynion​

@y-yo-a-ti-cas67 @cockleslovesdestiel​ @toxic-nebula​ @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @enchantinghairdoherringwombat​ @proudace​ @galaxymysteryelephant​ @aelysianmuse​ @ramennoodles-dean-cas @you-changedmedean

@gmos-winter-wonderland @deansotherotherblog​ @trekkie24 @geo-val​ @dizzypinwheel​ @hermionevaldez9​ @gimmeprozac @iamsherlockedondoctorwho​ @dickspeightjrs​ @imbiowaresbitch​

@destielle​ @hopefuldreamers-world​ @organicpurplepants​ @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you​ @shut-up-dean​ @sapphirecobalt-1​ @eshaninjer​ @spnobsessed50​ @mishka​ @holygoddessofvictory​​

@jayus-fandom-writer​​ @2musiclover2​​ @rainbowscas @bennedict​ @cassiecasyl​ @jensenacklesruinedmylife​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @chaoticdean​ @destiel-trash-asf​ @tlakhtwritesdestiel​

@bri-winchester​ @50shadesofcockles @trasherasswood​ @spittingpagan @castielstolemyheart @becky-srs @phoenix13 @jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets @deancasology @top13zepptraxx

@love-neve-dies @merry-things-do-happen-dean @tearsofgrace @thedirtytrenchcoat @a-porno-with-the-russian-mafia @on-a-bender @moi-the-bard @one-more-offbeat-anthem @naturallyathief @queen-rowenas

[satuguro]

selfless

IN WHICH: you go out on a date and sugawara koushi can only be a supportive best friend, even though he wants to be so much more.

PAIRINGS: sugawara koushi x reader, akaashi keiji x reader

INSPIRED BY: coffee breath — sofia mills, bubble gum — clairo

WARNING: cussing, some angst if you squint

“i got a date with him! could you believe it?”

you let out a loud laugh, your nerves and excitement radiating off of you in waves.

he could only force a bittersweet smile.

“no, i can’t.”

“c’mon, koushi, show a lil’ more encouragement, yeah?” you squealed, falling back in the couch as you let your hands raise above your head. you were blissed out, so high on adrenaline and giddiness and that you didn’t see the regret that filled sugawara’s golden eyes.

he needed to just stop feeling. just for one moment.

“what’s his name again?” koushi asked, making you sit up straight immediately to regain your composure.

“gimme a sec.” you typed away on your phone, well aware of sugawara’s gaze over your shoulder. his breath was right next to your ear, sending shivers up and down your spine. you pushed away the feeling almost immediately; you had a date. you had a date with someone who liked you back.

“aha!” you handed him your phone shamelessly, smile never leaving your face as you awaited his response.

you could tell that he was reading him. it was a simple picture, one of him with an endearing smile towards whoever was in front of him. he wore a simple black turtleneck and a beige coat— he had good style. his black hair was ruffled and messy, nothing like the perfection around him. he looked like he fell right out of a drama series.

of course, he fell for you. you looked like you fell from heaven itself; you were both made for each other.

“akaashi keiji,” you announced, his name falling from your lips like a wish. “so? what do you think?” you were asking him for his opinion as if akaashi was a wonderful and spontaneous idea that you wanted your dear old friend to hear about. you were looking at him expectingly, eyes glimmering with hope— hope for what? for koushi to like him? for him to say, ‘that’s wonderful y/n, you’ll be happy with him, and he’ll treat you well.’

“i,” sugawara’s words died in his throat, and he was suddenly aware of how dry his throat felt. he struggled for words, the confidence he once held when speaking to others now replaced by utter panic and embarrassment. his mind was racing, rummaging and searching in the depths of his brain in a scramble to find some words that would save the poor boy from his pain. “i don’t like him.” and just like that, the words were spat out before koushi could grab them again.

like a dying flower, the light and excitement in your eyes faded into nothing as you blinked.

once. twice. three times.

“you... you don’t?” you stuttered, disbelief within your tone as you stared at him. your face was unreadable, the happiness and giddiness from before now murky within the black of your eyes.

“i didn’t mean it like that!” panic. pure and utter panic raced through his body like an electrical shock. “i just—“

“why’re you freaking out?” similarly to how a falling leaf would gently touch the water’s surface, the faintest of smiles graced your face. your hand reached out to koushi and found its solace on his shoulder. there it perched and stayed, sending waves of warmth and comfort to his rigid body.

“what do you mean?” koushi forced past the bile he suddenly felt like vomiting, his golden eyes suddenly set on his lap as if it was the most interesting item known to man.

“kou,” you began, thumbing at the pale beige of his sweater, eyes deep in thought, “your opinion matters to me. no matter the answer, i wouldn’t mind. because it’s you.”

god, koushi wished you had said those last words under different circumstances. his heart ached as he looked at you, the warmth of your eyes so inviting that he would fall in over and over again if he could.

maybe he had fallen. maybe he had done it more than once and ran back for more. he would run back to you a thousand times if he could.

maybe that was the dangerous part of you. no matter how welcoming, how caring, or how patient you have been to everyone, you were always able to get them wrapped around your finger and hanging off your every words. but you never knew that yourself. if you did, you’d stop speaking all together; you’d never accept it.

“so stop worrying!” you chuckled, allowing your hand to fall from its place at his shoulder. your head replaced it, gentle and affectionate as you stared at the movie that was playing out on the t.v in from tof both of you.

sugawara nodded numbly. “i’ll stop,” he said, and he could only hope that he’d keep his promise.

“y/n, you might fall!”

sugawara felt like he was going to lose his head. seeing you standing on a thick branch of a tree that felt like it stretched up to the sky for miles. this was it— he’d die from worry at the ripe age of nine. right before his double digit birthday!

he could see it now: sugawara koushi, wonderful and caring son, dead at the age of nine alongside his best friend, l/n y/n, who also caused his death.

“c’mon, koushi!” you jumped on the tree branch, and as it bent, another spark of wordy coursed through him. “be brave! be strong!” you encouraged, putting on a mighty voice as you placed a hand on your hip and looked out into the horizon.

“you don’t know what’s up there! like snakes and spiders and — oh my god, ew, spiders!” sugawara babbled, propping his colorful backpack against the tree. helplessly, he looked up at you; wind blowing through your hair, expression much too serious for an 8 year old, with your hand on your hip as if you were posing.

“suga, listen!” the heroic pose you were once in broke as you stared down at your worrisome friend. all form of intimidation and determination died when you saw the amount of worry sugawara actually had; his hands were twiddling together, his eyes were aide, and his bottom lip was quivering ever so slightly. you swallowed. “the world is full of the unknown. everything is unknown until you make it known.” you paused before tilting your head as you gazed down at him. “does that make sense?”

sugawara could only nod. your words echoed in his head like a mantra, and he pulled the sleeves of his hoodie up as he readied himself.

“i’m ready— pull me up!”

you twirled once for him, allowing your white skirt to lift up along with the wind.

the pleated skirt you wore showcased your legs perfectly, and the oversized blue college sweatshirt you wore was perfectly oversized on your body. under the sweatshirt was a white button up that peaked through the crew neck of the sweater. your makeup was different — did you add a tad more blush than usual? — but you looked as beautiful as ever.

“do you think this is good? we’re just meeting somewhere but still—“

“you’re beautiful.” his words slipped out, his tone nothing but serious and sincere as he looked at you.

you smiled at him, the flash of your pearly whites like a ray of sunshine. sugawara found himself smiling back, much too focused in forcing a facade to notice the sudden waver in your grin. his smile was like a rainbow on a sunny day; beautiful enough to catch everyone’s eye and mystical enough to bring a sense of excitement into your veins for a moment.

how odd.

“shit! i need to hurry!” you checked the time before swinging your white tote bag over your shoulder and hastily packing your items inside. you pulled out a drawer from your living room table, taking out an obnoxiously long roll of condoms that you struggled to control.

“how many rounds are you planning for tonight?” sugawara couldn’t help but tease (though it made his heart wrench), making you roll your eyes and stick your tongue out. you stuffed a few of them into your purse, blind to the way he looked at you longingly.

you pulled your shoes on, trying to calm yourself. you looked at yourself once more in your nearby mirror, offering yourself a nervous smile before turning to sugawara.

his mind seemed elsewhere, his eyes still set on you and your body practically sparkling with nervousness. yet he still gave you a beaming smile and a (half hearted) thumbs up that calmed your anxiousness almost instantaneously.

“make sure to lock up when you leave!” you sent him one last grin as you opened the door. the door slammed behind you, leaving only a shadow of where you once stood.

koushi continued to stare at the white of the door.

his last days in karasuno. sugawara could barely keep himself together; he was sure that he was crying and slobbering all over his friends when he was saying his goodbyes in the gym.

well, it wasn’t his fault. he was leaving— he had all the right in the world to slobber on them.

he needed to catch his train. he gave his team one last smile as they listened to daichi scold them all for being so, so, so stupid during their last year and how he still loved them all the same (asahi, tanaka, and noya were having a hard time keeping themselves together because of their retiring captain). sugawara stood next to him, taking in the comforting sight of his team.

“koushi!”

your scream, loud and out of breath, made sugawara freeze.

you were standing behind him, pure rage and sadness brewing in your eyes like a hurricane. yachi stood next to you, practically cowering under your presence, and sugawara knew you asked the blond for his whereabouts.

he had planned on saying goodbye at your house.

sugawara wanted to say something. he wanted to tell you that he’d say good bye in privacy, without the wandering eyes of his team and the knowing eyes of daichi, who knew completely of his feelings towards you. but he said nothing, for you had taken his breath away when you swiftly ran up to him and hugged him from behind.

your arms wrapped around his torso, your face pressed to his back as you held onto him like a koala. “i’d hit you if you weren’t leaving,” you said, words muffled against his shirt.

“just do it anyway!” tsukishima commented in the background withh a snort.

the snickers of the first and second years were drowned out by sugawara’s rapidly beating heart, the feeling of you being so close bringing butterflies — hell, not even butterflies, a whole tornado — to his stomach. he carefully turned to face you, and you took a step back, your eyes glassy with wet tears.

the simple sight of it made his own vision blurry, and the both of you said nothing as you finally met in the middle. your arms wrapped around each other, years upon years of friendship now teetering and being threatened with distance. the rest of the world faded to black, and in that moment, it was only the two of you.

“visit. call. text. send me letters— do whatever the hell you need to do just please, please keep contact.” you were both teary faced messes, that much was obvious, but the idea that your life long best friend was leaving was too much to bear. you didn’t want him to go; what would you do without koushi?

koushi asked himself the same thing about you. what would he do without you?

two weeks and three days.

that was how long it had been since you had gone out on a date with akashi keiji. you hadn’t gone out with him since— not for any bad reason, though.

“you and koushi?”

“what about us?” you laughed, finger playing along the rim of your glass. but when you saw that he didn’t laugh along with you, you frowned.

you were friends before akaashi had asked you out. you knew that he was deep in his thoughts; his brows were knit together, and a frown twitched at the side of his lips. “akaashi. what about us?”

“you like him, don’t you?”

you wanted to forget about his words. you didn’t want to hear anything about your ‘feelings’ for koushi— they didn’t exist. your feelings for him were never there.

you were reminding yourself of that fact even as you got shit faced drunk with him right by your side.

shitty boxed wine was laid out everywhere while you sipped a bottle of champagne, pretending not to see koushi’s pout as you finished half the bottle. lazily, you smiled at him.

“it’s good.”

“yeah, no shit,” suga snorted, reaching his out and making his fingers make grabby hands. you pulled it away from him with a musical laugh, one that made his already flushed cheeks bloom a deeper red. again, he pouted, his bottom lip jutting out. “y/n,” he drawled, reaching out again only to have you move it out of his way.

“koushi,” you mocked, sticking your tongue out as if you were a child. he was adorable like this.

“no. i don’t want to talk about this.” you laughed in disbelief as you looked down. how could he make such an accusation? how could akaashi just blurt it out out of nowhere as if you hadn’t agreed to go out with him when he asked? he had no right.

he had no right asking when he knew the answer.

akaashi looked at you, a ghost of a pained smile on his lips. of course, he was hurt. how could he not? he had pined for you since he first saw you, and sugawara...

sugawara had you and he didn’t even know.

he wasn’t selfish. akaashi keiji was not selfish in the slightest, and maybe that was why he was doing this for your happiness. he was doing it because he knew it was right.

even if he was going to be hurt in the process.

“you look at him like he’s your morning cup of coffee,” akaashi said softly. “your eyes light up and this beautiful smile dawns over your face,” he swallowed thickly. “the sight of him makes you happy. he makes you happy.”

you peered up at him, a sorrowful smile blessing your features. yet again, akaashi cursed his heart for beating so quickly upon the sight.

akaashi keiji was not selfish in the slightest.

“i’m sorry, akaashi.”

he was a selfless person who could care less for himself.

“i am too, y/n.”

that was why he was letting you go.

“i will commit a crime to end up on national news,” sugawara threatened with the most serious face he could muster, his hand still outstretched towards you expectingly.

“sangwoo much?” you retorted with a laugh, one that made sugawara join you. in that second of vulnerability, koushi surged forward and practically tackled you, his hand ready to meet the bottle.

instead, he ended up pinning you down onto the couch with himself on top of you. the champagne was long gone and rolling and spilling all over your hardwood floor, but you couldn’t care less.

“suga, the champagne!” you whined out drunkenly, completely unaware of the lack of space between you both.

sugawara’s hand was on one side of your head, which was keeping his body from smushing you. his grey hair, which he had chosen to grow out just a bit, tickled the top of your nose as he hovered over you. his other hand, the one that was supposed to grab the champagne, found its place on the other side of your head.

your laughter soon died out when you felt his breath fanning over your face. your heart was beating hard enough to make a mark on your chest.

your hand came up to touch one side of his face, your thumb stroking his cheek softly. koushi leaned into your touch, his eyes full of adoration as he looked down at you.

you leaned up just as he leaned down, and your lips found themselves in the middle.

he tasted like shitty boxed alcohol and smelled like vanilla. you could feel his hair brush over your forehead as you leaned up to meet his lips better. koushi was intoxicating, and his scent and taste filled your senses as you kissed him.

the champagne still lingered on your tongue, and koushi could taste it as your tongues swiped over each other with each kiss. he felt himself pour all his years of unspoken love in the kiss. more than a decade of yearning for someone who was so close but so far finally paid off.

koushi pulled away from you as he took a deep breath of air. he couldn’t help the contagious smile he had on his face, one that you returned instantly.

“i love you,” you murmured, your thumb brushing over his beauty mark.

dramatically, sugawara gasped. “say sike right now, no way.”

“kou,” you groaned, using your hand to playfully flick at his nose.

loudly, sugawara laughed. he felt his cheeks ache and his heart flutter as he did, the relief finally hitting him as well as the realization that holy shit, you loved him back.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry.” he leaned back in, making your noses poke each other as he pecked your lips one last time.

“i love you too. more than you’ll ever know.”

[finaledenialist]

Okay, your tags on The Empty Post have showed up in my notes and I have to ask. Tell me more. Tell me it all. All of the feelings and thoughts about that scene because what I’ve seen so far? Absolute perfection and I agree wholeheartedly.

Thank you! Okay I basically unloaded most of my thoughts in my tags here but let’s go through this one more time. I may add: this was already said a thousand times by better meta writers than me 3 years ago when season 13 was actually airing. And I will ramble a little about Purgatory, too. Now with that out of the way: 

The Empty. Canonically it is a being, a living immortal being that rules the place or an ‘anti-place’ where angels and demons go are sent to when they die to dream of their regrets forever (this sounds awful and like a punishment for dying despite being immortal, for getting themselves killed or something). Also: the Empty was there before Creation, the Nothingness before Darkness and before Light. 

Okay. But let’s see what other things the Empty represents: lack of anything. Complete nothingness that Cas got sucked into (by Lucifer but also by helping the Winchesters). Now we know that Cas‘I am afraid I might kill myself’tiel had his issues, right (I still can’t believe that we are praising 8x08 thee Hunteri Heroici for being a filler episode with Cas - which is awesome, don’t get me wrong - but we all keep forgetting what he actually did say to Dean there!!! Dean says: are you afraid the angels will kill you if you show up in Heaven? And Cas looks straight into his eyes and says: After all I’ve done, when I see Heaven, I am afraid I might kill myself).

Please remember that it’s not only Dean, Mr. ‘Purgatory was pure’. Cas, after all he did in season 6, after his death in s7, after coming back and being literally haunted by everything he’s done, must have felt that Purgatory was liberating, too. It was some kind of an Alternative Universe where he didn’t have to face the consequences of his actions. He was free of them. It was literally his escape AND additionally it was (well, according to good old christian lore, maybe not specifically spn lore) a place where you are supposed to atone for your sins so there must have been the feeling of atoning, of making things right without actually doing anything specific, where having to survive and not get eaten by the Leviathans was his main problem (= surviving was just enough, nothing was asked of him), which, compared to all he’s done, wasn’t that hard or difficult. He found himself running away from Leviathans which could mirror running away from consequences of his actions - but it was Purgatory, it was at the same time atoning for what he did. It was EASY.

Cas basically confirms that he officially stayed in Purgatory because he didn’t think he deserved to go back to Earth and that is true but what he doesn’t say is: ‘Purgatory was pure and easy and kill or be killed and no other worries than that, no thinking, no real responsibilities which actually was a nice escape from the real world after all I did and been through in the past 3 years’. He wanted out, he wanted an easy choice. Okay, maybe he wasn’t actively looking for an easy way out but when it presented itself - when they appeared in Purgatory - he took it like a gift. We’re talking about a character who spent all his life following orders, who finally broke free and found himself completely lost in the freedom of choices, directionless and maybe wanted an escape. He must have felt overwhelmed but all this freedom (which he basically confirms in 6x20 freedom is a length of rope and god wants you to hang yourself with it). I COMPLETELY understand that choice to escape. 

So in seasons 8-12 Cas has a lot of stuff going on in his head, he gets lobotomized for most of season 8, he is hurt and tortured and treated like shit for most of season 9 and 10 and he ultimately gives himself up to Lucifer in s11 and then he almost dies in 12x12 and he never really got to talk about all of this or work this things out with anyone because Sam or Dean are not really the most talkative guys and Dean in 10x09 basically tells Cas to ‘let it go and not think about it’ which is a shitty advice to someone who suffers from some mental issues if I am being honest (this is like. ur depressed? oh go for a run and smile and stop being sad!!! kind of advice if you ask me). So these issues only grow and grow and start eating him up and please remember that at the very same time Cas is falling in love. I said it previously but I think the moment he realizes what he really feels is 12x12 when he is dying. In that moment he is able to name this feeling but it’s of course covered by: ‘I love you. I love all of you’. 

Now in season 12 he finally gets a proper arc with Kelly (god bless her, honestly, she and Cas had one of the most healthy relationships ever portrayed on tv and it wasn’t even romantic, I could go off about this but it’s getting really long anyway). So he kind of is on his way to find a purpose again - Dean is saved (from hell, from Michael, from the Mark), so he focuses on Kelly and unborn Jack and maybe in his relationship with her he rediscovers love (not necessarily romantic but he sees how she loves Jack) and he does all he can to protect her from basically everyone including the Winchesters. And he promises he will take care of Jack and then. Then he is killed by Lucifer (shattered at the altar of Winchester because he gets involved in the Apocalypse World because of them while having built something for himself with Kelly and Jack BUT still not having properly processed all his previous trauma). 

Okay, so fast forward: Cas is woken up by Jack in the Empty. He is of course confused and stuff (we still don’t know what was he dreaming about all this time he spent there now that we know this is a place where angels and demons dream about their mistakes and regrets <- fanfiction gap #1). He wakes up, he is ‘greeted’ by the Empty and one of the first things he says is that he has to go back because Sam and Dean need him. 

This is his first, automatic thought - I (probably) don’t want to go back, but Sam and Dean need me so I have to, I don’t want to go back for myself because I never wanted to since Purgatory but I know I have to. He doesn’t even think about Jack in this moment. I... maybe it is a stretch but I sense a kind of fear in these words. It’s like he thinks: ‘if I had the chance to come back and chose not to come back from selfish reasons then if the Winchesters ever find out about this they will be angry at me’. But I might be reading too much into this, but on the other hand Jesus fucking Christ this is precisely what happened in Purgatory. He chose to stay although he had a chance to return and the effect was Dean being mad at him. Talk about trauma--

Then the Empty (who was in Cas’ mind) voices his biggest fears: 

'I know who you love, I know what you fear. There is nothing for you back there. Wouldn't you rather be a fond memory than a constant festering disappointment?'

There is a lot to unpack here because this is the Empty’s (who, as stated at the beginning can be read as a manifestation of not only death but also Cas’ depression and self-worth issues) reaction to Cas saying that Sam and Dean need him. She says: uh oh you’re wrong<3 I know who you love, what you fear, the is nothing there for you, sweetie. Essentially: they don’t need you. No one needs you or wants you there. They are better off without you. Wouldn’t you rather be a fond memory (of actually being useful as in: saving Dean from hell, helping to stop the Apocalypse, helping to fight the Leviathans) than a disappointment (failing powers, makes mistake after a mistake, chooses to protect the unborn Antichrist rather than killing him before he’s born - and not to make this whole thing worse but this is what Dean has the audacity to say to Cas in 15x03: why if something goes wrong it always seem to be you).

I will now allow myself for some privacy, because I am a person who dealt with these kind of thoughts in my head for years, these are straight up suicidal thoughts: no one needs you, no one wants you, you are a disappointment and if you die you will be fondly remembered, everyone is better off without you. And we know Cas was suicidal because he literally tells us in 8x08 and we have no proof that he somehow got rid of these thoughts, ever. If anything, they were always there, present, if not growing. Thoughts like that don’t just disappear. Please remember one more time what was happening to Cas in seasons 8-11. He wasn’t healing. He was getting worse, while all this time managing to keep his head above water for someone else, while the guilt was rising and rising. 

If the Empty represents all his issues: depression, suicidal thoughts, guilt, self-hate, lack of self-worth, and what she offers is: eternal sleep. Maybe not entirely peaceful sleep, but sleep nevertheless, no consequences, no facing your fears, no dealing with anything, an escape, sleep - 

And she prompts him to stop fighting, to go back to sleep because there is nothing to fight for (now the symbolism of him being waken up by JACK who was his new found purpose just before he got killed), but she makes a mistake to confront his thoughts and fears with him. She makes a mistake of taking a ‘physical’ form, putting on his face and voice his fears. And Cas is a warrior and he kind of hates himself, so his instinct was to fight. Of course it was easier not to think about all of these stuff at all, to push it back, to try to forget. But once he was forced to face all of these? He fought back. AND HE WON!!!!! 

WHAT A MESSAGE TO SEND RIGHT?!!! You might have all these issues and not want to face them because you feel you will crush under them but look: when you are forced to face them it turns out you are somehow way stronger than them!!! The moment you choose to fight you already won, you are already saved!!! Because ultimately these are your thoughts and this is your mind and you control it, no one else! The moment you decide, you choose, to take control: you win. You are saved because you chose to save yourself because you decided you are worth saving. And the Empty (and everything she represents) immediately gets angry and lets him go, ultimately annoyed because he dared to defy her and she just can’t win with someone who decides he wants to be free. WHAT. 👏🏻  A.  👏🏻 WONDERFUL. 👏🏻  MESSAGE.  👏🏻

So... Having said all that. There is only one thing left: I have NO IDEA. NO IDEA. HOW HE FOUND THE STRENGTH. TO STAND UP AND SAY THIS:

I'm already saved. You can prance and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I'm awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for... ever. For eternity.

A FUCKING ICON. STRONGEST CHARACTER EVER. YOUR FAVE COULD NEVER--

[typinggently-archive]

I have never watched that show. How much background info I should look up to enjoy your Sam x Dean fiction?

Dearest, that’s so sweet ahhh 🥺🥺 Honestly, I’m so honoured that you’re willing to dive into unknown waters for me 🌹🌹🌹 I wrote up a short introduction! ✨

The basics are as follows: Sam and Dean are the sons of John and Mary Winchester, with Dean being 4 years older. After Mary’s supernatural death when Dean is 5, John sweeps his children into his car and leaves the burning corpse of their normal life behind, with a sweltering pain inside of him. Driven by fear for his sons and the burning need for revenge, John raises his sons as hunters and in motel rooms. There is, and that is crucial, no resemblance of a normal life for any of them after Mary’s death.

If we’re speaking in very basic terms, Dean is the daredevil womanising Marlboro Man, complete with muscle car and leather jacket, and Sam is the more soft-spoken smart one who eats salad and has glossy-soft hair. (However, of course, Dean is fiercely family-oriented, protective, good with children. Sam started out with a rebellious streak and is still capable of great violence when he doesn’t keep himself in check. Also Dean’s the type to gaze dreamily into his girl’s eyes and hold her hand as she rides him and Sam’s one night stands are mostly of the ‘rip off your shirt and hit it from behind’ kind.)

~🖤~

Considering there are 15 seasons to choose from, people have (naturally) picked up certain elements that they find most enjoyable. There’s a good deal of people who watch it as a (romantic) comedy.

I personally enjoy the American gothic horror, the way those two are entangled beyond comprehension and, at times, indistinguishable from the monsters they hunt. Even if my fics have different topics or are lighthearted and honey-dripping, the base note is always this: their relationship, due to nature and nurture, is incredibly obsessive. Their world has been reduced to the two of them in the confines of the car or the ever-changing motel rooms, ever since they were little. Dean’s purpose in life was to protect and care for Sam, Sam’s purpose in life was to let that happen. There’s some resentment in that, sometimes you can feel them rebelling against this tangled, claustrophobic mess, but even if they fight and snarl and break up, they always return to one another and heal those cuts in their bond, which, in essence, only means that they settle back into their entangled, Janus-like double soul.

~🖤~

I’ll give you a brief summary of the first five seasons (the core of the show, at least to me), just to illustrate my point. Despite all else that happens, I think that is the foundation of the show, and thus, probably all you need to know to understand what I have in mind while I write.

🔥.1.🔥

The story begins with Sam at college, trying to establish a life away from the road and, in essence, Dean. That attempt of normality burns on the ceiling in the person of his girlfriend Jessica, repeat performance of when his mother’s body lit up his room 21 years ago. Dean picks him up and he goes back to the car, to the life he tried to leave behind, and, essentially, to Dean. They follow a trail of breadcrumbs and coordinates John leaves them to eventually get back to him. They find John, find the demon that killed Mary, and, as the turn of a new chapter is right at their fingertips, get bulldozed by a truck.

🪦.2.🪦

Season two has Dean dying. John can’t let that happen, so he finds the demon responsible for taking everything (his wife, his life, his son) from him to trade his own soul and the only thing that could kill said demon for Dean. John dies, Dean lives, and has to live with that guilt. Just like John, he turns to hunt down the demon responsible for taking everything (his mother, his life, his father). Sam starts having visions, a power grows inside of him that he can’t begin to understand and is incredibly frightened by. The demon sweeps in to steal him away, and Dean comes just in time to catch Sam, powerful and dying, in his arms. Just like John, Dean goes to trade his life. He’s promised one year on Earth, eternity in hell after. Reunited, revived, they find the demon responsible for taking everything and with the help of their father’s soul, kill him. John goes to heaven, Sam goes on living, Dean knows he’s going to hell.

⏳.3.⏳

In season three, Sam lives and has to live with what Dean did. He desperately tries to find a cure, a solution, anything. He finds Ruby, instead, a demon who promises him all three. It doesn’t work, the overly-powerful demon Lilith who was promised Dean after one year, comes and gets him. Sam watches helplessly as Dean is torn apart, then holds him, warm but cooling, in his arms.

🩸.4.🩸

Season four finds Dean finding himself breathing underground. He digs himself out of his own grave and finds Sam and has to find out that Ruby found him first. It’s now that we learn who found Dean and raised him out of hell: Castiel, unkillable, unfathomable, unbelievable. Dean, who never believed in God, now has to learn that there’s a biblical plan laid out for Sam and him. Meanwhile, Castiel, who always believed and is starting to doubt, tries to find God, who’s responsible for it all, but vanished. Meanwhile, Sam is drawn closer and closer to Ruby, by Ruby. While Castiel raised Dean out of hell, Ruby found Sam on Earth and wrapped herself around him, offering a shoulder to cry on and a wrist to drink from. Sam, who wasn’t strong enough to save Dean, quickly gets addicted to demon blood, which makes him stronger than humanely possible — and, in Dean’s eyes, less human. He falls for Ruby and falls for her scheme, which leads to him breaking the seal that kept Lucifer contained, starting what will lead to the end of everything. Ruby’s life ends with Sam’s arms wrapped around her, holding her still as Dean sinks her own knife into her.

⌛️.5.⌛️

Season five leads to the end of the world, with Heaven and Hell trying to convince Sam and Dean to follow the plan written for them: Sam is destined to be Lucifer’s vessel, give over his body to him, while Dean is meant to do the same for Michael. They are meant to fight and kill each other, and thus decide the fate of everything, heaven, hell and earth. They refuse. Dean refuses to let Michael enter and use him, forcing heaven to manipulate their half-brother Adam to step into his big brother’s shoes. Sam invites Lucifer in, but refuses to do as he’s told and breaks the Devil’s hold over him to sacrifice himself and Adam and save everything. It ends with Sam, Adam, Michael and Lucifer trapped for eternity in the cage Sam broke the seal of, and Dean, on Earth. Alone.

(Not quite, of course. Following Sam’s wish, he finds a life for himself, a woman and a child that isn’t his but close enough that Dean can pretend. Outside, in the dark, Sam watches.)

~🖤~

Voilà, that’s it. Sam and Dean kill and die for each other, sell their souls and humanity to save one another or repent for the fact that they couldn’t. There are many, many other stories interwoven there, for example the story of the amulet Sam was meant to gift their father when he was little, for protection. When John doesn’t show up to receive the gift, he gives it to Dean. For decades, the amulet is kept right against his heart, until it stops beating and Sam takes it off, to keep it warm and safe against his own chest. When Dean returns from hell, Sam, who was never able to believe that Dean was really gone, gives it back. Its journey ends where it began, in a motel room with Sam and Dean, when Dean, who finds his faith and hope to save them and the Earth crushed, takes it off and throws it away.

(And a quick look at s6: Dean has the orange juice for breakfast, scent of freshly cut grass life Sam wanted for him for one year, until Sam comes to collect him again. After spending an eternity in the cage with Lucifer (and Adam and Michael, who presumably sat in their corner and made out while Sam was being skinned like Marsyas), Sam was lifted out (by Castiel), but lost his soul and the memories of his torment in the process. What does it mean for one to lose one’s soul, what happens to that person? Sam stops sleeping, he stops caring what other people think, he stops caring for other people in general. He’s an incredibly efficient hunter and spends most of his (limitless, sleepless) time hunting, exercising, or having sex. Despite this empty, cold shell his brother has been reduced to, Dean drops his life of dinner at eight and slow morning sex to join Sam, and gets broken up with over the phone for being too attached to Sam.)

~🖤~

This got quite long after all, but I hope this got the idea across! Those two are very fascinating characters and I love them dearly. Twisted little clowns.

[cryptidsandcatacombs]

listen sleep is irrelevant when there are vampires around a corporeal form what is that my needs of the flesh lol what are those

Ship: Noe Archiviste/S/I Rating: very adult anyone under the age of 18 skidaddle no srsly it's all nsfw smut from here no minors are allowed to read. All nsfw under the cut srsly do not read if you're a minor

Summary: Listen I'm not saying I'm horny for Noe Archiviste and I decided to make a self insert fic powered by that horny and make it everyone's problem BUT IDK you guys can decide for yourself whether i'm lying or not yall graduated high school, so yall have an adult level of reading comprehension. You guys got this. I'm rooting for you and so are my 10000 horny thoughts. This fic is brought to you by the sound of your past mistake chasing you. Remember. Ever day is leg day when you're running from your problems.

Also very highly self indulgent. Don't read if you don't like self inserts who are incredibly horny for certain people....or am I? Who knows.

Note: my s/i is a trans guy with all the feminine parts still attached. just needed to clear that up Copper. That's all Noe could smell. Being this close to Oz had an effect on him. One that drew him into a haze of nearly drug induced ambrosia. Gods how it made him dizzy in the most pleasant ways.

Oz unbuttoned the top of his shirt and gave him a slight smile. "Well, what you staring at," Oz said in a flirty tone.

Noe gulped going between Oz's purple eyes, chest and finally his neck. Fuck he was avoiding the neck. He felt like a Victorian virgin whose never seen a bit of skin before. Noe just felt Oz was so...exposed. It drove him crazy.

"Listen," Oz said interrupting Noe's haze, "I know what you're thinking. Well, what you waiting for. It's not like I'm saying no."

Noe was taken aback. Was Oz offering himself to him. No, it can't be. It can't be that easy. Who would offer themselves to a vampire?

"Oh or is the big bad vampire scared? I promise Noe, I've been wanting this for so long," Oz said through labored breath. Oz pulled down his shirt exposing his chest. "Please Noe, will you deny what we both clearly have been longing for. Partake onto me my love."

Noe's body moved closer to Oz than he already was. His lips grazed close to Oz's pulse. He can practically feel it throbbing with excitement.

Oz craned his neck to help Noe find a spot. Noe grazed his teeth experimentally to find the one spot that made Oz moan.

"There... no not there....wait where....," Noe thought to himself as he prodded around Oz's neck.

Suddenly, he heard that moan he had been looking for. Perfect.

He bit a little further. He looked up to see Oz's reaction.

Oz was panting wildly, face several shades dark with a violent, lustful blush. God, it was bliss to look upon.

"Please...." Oz said in a tone that Noe could have sworn was begging. If there was any doubts before, they were gone with his reserves.

Noe plunged his fangs further into Oz's tender, soft flesh. Noe shuddered at the feeling of Oz running his fingers through Noe's hair. God, it was heaven.(edited)

"Please, don't stop..." Oz said panting and moaning.

Noe tasted the blood that pooled onto his tongue. He grabbed Oz closer pulling him onto his lap. The effect Oz had on him was beyond addiction, beyond lust. It was an obsession he couldn't quit.

He had waited for this day for so long. It's what kept him up at night in a cold sweat and it invaded his dreams. However, all those dreams ended in a nightmare. Oz lying cold and deceased in his arms from not being able to simply stop. Blood run dry by his own hands. Tears streaming down his face by what he's done. He couldn't bare to act on his need to suck Oz's blood out of fear he may not be able to stop himself.

But dear god, how he wanted this so bad. So bad he's so happy he's tasting it now.

Noe suddenly push Oz down onto the couch they were sitting on. Oz's back fell to the couch, Noe pressed against him.

Noe dug himself deeper into Oz. Oz spread his legs to further accommodate him. This only encouraged Noe. His fangs dug further into Oz's pulsating flesh as he ground his ever swelling boner against Oz's crotch. Noe partook in Oz's blood like a dying man who hasn't seen food in days.

Oz began to grind back, moaning and whimpering gripping Noe's clothes for dear life.

Noe released his fangs from Oz's neck causing Oz to stare back curiously wondering why Noe stopped. The answer came in the form and Noe unbuttoning his shirt.

"So hot..," Noe managed to pant out, "Can't breathe."

Noe quickly, with deft precision, unbuttoned and took off his shirt revealing a sight Oz couldn't help but stare at disrespectfully and objectify to filth as he's done so many times in his sexual fantasies.

"Hey you ok," Noe asked noticing staring as Oz was not subtle and also thirstier than the most dehydrated man lost in the desert.

"Oh, yes I am. I just always thought you were very sexy. God, you're beautiful," Oz said blushing head to toe.

Noe's cool broke and he started blushing too. "T-thanks," he managed to squeak out.

Oz giggled at Noe's flustered reaction. Oz lifted his hand to Noe's face to calm him.

Noe stared down at Oz's face. It was almost magical seeing Oz's disheveled stated. Blood dripping down Oz's neck, shirt wrinkled cascading down his nearly exposed breasts, eyes and face filled with wanting. Noe touched Oz's hand that was still on his face. This wasn't a dream. God, this was better than one.

Noe couldn't help what he did next.

Noe lowered himself on top of Oz. Noe and Oz's noses practically met they were so close. A mix of being so close and Noe's hot breath against Oz's skin made Oz turn away flustered.

Noe placed his fingers under Oz's chin to keep his face where he needed it to be. Noe slowly and sensually placed his lips upon Oz's. Oz returned the kiss just as slow and soft.

Noe ran his fingers through Oz's hair as he pressed his lips harder against Oz's. Oz returned the favor running his fingers down Noe's exposed back. The sensation made Noe shiver and moan as he ran his tongue against Oz's lips. The kisses became laced with moans as Noe pulled on Oz's shirt.

Noe parted from the kiss with panting. "Take your clothes off," said pulling on Oz's shirt.

Oz did what he was told. Noe stared in fascination as his eyes partook in every length of the increasing exposure of Oz's skin. Noe suddenly became aware of the grating ache of his own erection. He would have taken his own pants if he wasn't so afraid it'd embarrass Oz at this moment.

With the last article of Oz's clothing gone, Oz turned away embarrassed by Noe's stare. Oz had trouble finding himself attractive, but Noe would beg to differ.

As if reading his mind, Noe turned Oz's face towards him. Noe gave Oz a kind smile. One that Oz always fell in love with over and over again.

Noe leaned into Oz's face. He gently put his hand on Oz's cheek, rubbing his thumb across it. "You're beautiful," he whispered.

"Thank you," Oz said blushing. "You're amazing Noe. I love you so much."

Noe smiled hearing those words. He had longed to hear them for so long even though he had heard them in many ways in his imagination and dreams. Nothing compared to how he heard it coming from Oz's own lips.

"I love you too Oz. More than I could ever explain," Noe said barely above a whisper.

Noe once again took Oz's lips onto his own as he pressed Oz back onto the couch again.

Noe once again placed himself between Oz's legs once again becoming aware of his aching erection.

"I-I'm sorry, mind if I..." Noe said lifting himself off Oz. Noe place his hands around the button his pants to gesture what he wanted to do.

"Mind if you what," Oz asked.

Noe was taken aback with that question. "God Oz, you better be glad you're cute at times like these," Noe thought to himself.

"My pants," Noe stuttered out, "Mind if I take them off."

"Oh yeah sure," Oz said immediately, "Why wouldn't I want you to?"

"I don't know. Anxiety told me I shouldn't because you might not like it," Noe said now fully embarrassed.

Oz bit his lip and ran his fingers through his own hair. "Listen, I want this I promise you. More than I have ever admitted to you."

Noe whipped his head back to Oz now fully intrigued. "Really," he asked without hesitation.

Oz nodded covering his face.

Suddenly, Noe placed his fingers on Oz's pussy to find it wet beyond what he thought it would be. The sensation of Noe's fingers down there made him gasp and moan as he curled his toes inwardly.

Noe kissed Oz's neck around the same spot he bit to tease him further. "How long have you been thinking of me like this," Noe asked as he rubbed Oz's wetness a little harder. Noe's thumb reached for the clit to tease him further.

Electric pleasure surged through Oz's body in such an overwhelming way that he couldn't talk. All that came out were squeaks and moans. The stimulation was killing him.

"Now now, that's not what I asked," Noe whispered in Oz's ear. "Be a good boy and tell me exactly what you've been thinking of me." Noe breath hitched as he managed to shudder out his next words,"and please don't' skimp on the details."

Oz wriggled under Noe's touched as he to rub the same way. Noe's brow furrowed realizing Oz wasn't going to talk unless Noe made him. Noe took his thumb away from Oz's clit. An action that made Oz whimper from its absence.

"Now now, I'll give you what you want once you give daddy what he wants," Noe growled out, his voice dropping to such an octave it seemed like it came from somewhere deep in his chest.

Oz's lip quivered as he struggled to tell him. God where to begin.

"Well, I had a fantasy similar to this. I'm alone with you in your place. You get so close to me and bite me sucking my blood because you can't take it anymore. The need making you so feral it hurts. Then you fuck me so hard I can't walk straight for a few days," Oz said blushing turning away so flustered by describing his sexual fantasies.

Noe blushed harder than he thought he would hearing someone think of him that way. He never thought he'd find anyone who thought of him that way. Confidence suddenly rising within him, he teasingly placed his hand upon Oz's thigh, hovering just above the spot he needed Noe's hand to be.

"Really and how often do you think of me in such a....sinful manner," he said voice heavy with lust straining against taking Oz right then and there.

"More than you can imagine," Oz admitted daring not to look Noe in the eye.

Noe's breath came out ragged hearing that. Noe's fingers grazed harder into Oz's thighs. He suddenly remembered he never took his pants off. They were officially killing him from how hard his cock was straining against them now.

Noe furiously tore them away revealing all of himself to Oz. Oz's eyes took Noe in fully, trying not to stare at his dick too long. Oz stared back up at Noe's. Noe leaned in close to Oz.

"What," Oz squeaked out.

"Were you staring," Noe asked.

Oz nodded blushing 500 shades darker than he thought he would.

Noe blushed along with Oz. "I-uh I hope I look ok," Noe said rubbing the back of his neck eyes darting to uncertain places. Places he will never admit but fortunately the writer is tattle tale and those places were Oz's tits. You're welcome.

Oz smiled and kissed Noe's cheek. "You look amazing. You're so beautiful," Oz said whispering against Noe's cheek.

Noe turned back to Oz's eyes. God, Noe considered himself the luckiest bastard on Earth right now and so did Oz. They felt so lucky to be in each other's presence right now, wanting each other in mutual lust.

Noe and Oz pressed their lips against each other for another kiss as Noe slid his hands down Oz's thigh and onto his clit once more.

Oz moaned wildly into the kiss as Noe pressed rubbed it harder and faster.

"S-stop..t-t--too mUCH,"Oz managed to squeak out.

"Ssshh sshh it's ok. You're so close. I just want to feel you cum once. Or tell me where you want it by precious boy," Noe whispered reading the vibes.

Oz, with much hesitance, pushed Noe's fingers towards Oz's dripping vaginal hole.

"P-please," Oz moaned.

Noe nodded as he dipped two fingers in. Oz dug his fingers into the couch cushion as Noe thrust his fingers in and out.

"Better," Noe asked checking in on Oz to see if he was doing ok.

"Yes oh gods yes," Oz said through his moans and pants.

Noe took this as a sign to go harder and deeper. Noe dug deeper trying to find the spot that would make Oz scream. Noe managed to find it with the sound of Oz's gasp.

"There," Oz said barely audible.

"There," Noe asked as he thrust his fingers harder onto that same spot.

Oz's toes curled and dug into the couch. His nail dug and scraped against Noe's back, driving him insane. Gods, Noe wasn't sure how much of this he could take before he took Oz like an animal in heat.

Noe, wanting to speed up the process before his own orgasm denial drove him to madness, kissed and teased around Oz's tits and nipple. Oz ran his fingers through Noe's hair encouraging him. Noe moaned at the sensation of Oz doing this. Curse the fact he was so tender headed.

Noe sucked on one of Oz's tits as his fingers thrust into Oz's spot harder feeling Oz on the edge of cumming.

With a final moan and gasp, Noe finally felt Oz cum around his fingers. Noe suddenly became self aware how hot and sweaty he felt at this moment.

He needed Oz now.

Noe took in Oz's blissed out, post orgasm face. Noe bathed in the sight. He couldn't believe Oz came for him of all people. Fantasized about him doing this to him. The thought of it made Noe's dick twitch with need.

Noe turned Oz's face towards him once more as he took him into another kiss. Sliding both hands down to Oz's hips, he pulled Oz forward so Noe's dick was at Oz's entrance.

Noe lifted Oz's legs higher onto his back so he can get a good angle.

"Ready," Noe asked looking for Oz's consent.

Oz nodded. "Please....fuck me please...."

That was the last thread that was cut for Noe. He ceased to be a man with reserves or gentleness at that point.

Noe dug his fingers into Oz's hips as he pulled Oz's body forward and thrust his throbbing cock in roughly. More roughly than he thought he would.

Oz moaned feeling himself squeeze around the sudden intrusion. God it felt amazing to him.

Noe panted, heart pounding at the new sensation he had never felt before. Oz was so tight around him. He could get drunk off this feeling for the rest of eternity.

"You ok," Noe asked checking to see if Oz was hurting or if it was too overstimulating.

"Yes. It feels amazing. I need you please please please," Oz said running his fingers through his own hair becoming overwhelmed with pleasure.

Noe nodded taking this as a sign he's allowed to move. Noe steadied himself, hand hooking around the back of Oz's head, other hand on Oz's hip. He began to thrust slowly and deeply trying to find a pace they both liked.

Oz's moans became progressively loud reaching in harmony with Noe's own moans. Both Oz and Noe's nails dug into each other with each motion.

Noe reached down and began to scrape his fangs against Oz's neck. Oz tilted his head back to expose himself more. Noe found another good spot and plunged his fangs into Oz's flesh once more.

As Oz's blood pooled onto Noe's tongue, he began to thrust harder. Oz moaned louder gripping Noe's hair. Noe moaned from the feeling of Oz tugging on his hair. He lifted Oz's lower body higher and began to thrust deeper and harder.

Noe ran his fingers through Oz's hair, pulling Oz's hair roughly. Noe released his fangs from Oz's neck. His teeth scraped and traveled other places on Oz's neck leaving deep, dark love bites all over.

Oz's legs began to buckle and shake from all of this happening at once. Nails dug further into Noe's skin.

"Oh gods don't stop fuck don't stop," Oz moaned and panted out.

Noe picked up the pace, thrusting harder until Oz screamed.

Oz became barely audible at this point feeling himself on the edge of cumming.

"Oz, you're so close. I can feel it," Noe panted out feeling himself getting close too.

"Don't stop. I'm gonna cum," Oz said just before biting down on Noe's shoulder.

Noe gasped and bit harder into Oz's neck. Noe had no idea being the one getting bit would turn him on too. Well noted.

With a few hard thrusts, Noe felt Oz cumming around him with Noe cumming with him.

Noe took a few moment to compose himself and then collapsed on top of Oz. The room was only filled with exhausted pants coming from both parties.

"So, how was that for you," Noe asked.

"Amazing. What about you," Oz asked in return.

"That was incredible," Noe said kissing the nearest parts his lips could reach before giving him a soft peck on the lips.

Noe pulled himself out of Oz, watching the stream of cum drip from Oz's hole. The sight made him shiver with arousal. Little did he know, Oz loved the sensation of it too.

In both their minds, they decided one round wasn't enough.

But it was Noe who made the first advance. Noe picked Oz up off the couch.

"How about we do this again, but this time on the bed where we can cuddle and have more room," Noe said holding her close.

"Ok," Oz said leaning his ear into Noe's chest feeling his heart pounding from excitement.

Noe settled Oz down onto the bed, moonlight beaming down into the room. "Thank you Oz my little moonbeam. I love you so much," Noe said pulling Oz towards him.

"I love you too little starlight," Oz said as Noe pulled Oz in for another kiss.

This was going to be a long night.

[the-mighty-jellybean]

Crown of Thorns

“What will I be when I grow up, Lady Mother?” Y/N asked, the bed sheets wrapped high under her chin, arms clutching her knees.          

“You will be Queen, my darling,” she cupped her face, and she leaned into her touch, “and a warrior.”

Series Summary: After the need for their alliance during the Battle of Titan, King Stephen asked in return for his services, that King Anthony of the Iron Islands’, first born daughter would be given in marriage, to his sons, Prince Steven and Prince James of the Kingdom of Kamar-Taj. Despite King Anthony’s other offers, King Stephen would only agree to one, or there would be war between their two Kingdoms. Leaving King Anthony with no choice, he sacrificed his first born daughter, in hopes of sparing his people of anymore suffering. Anthony prayed that the men would care for his daughter, and love her as he did, but a sparkly crown can hide a thousand secrets.  

Pairing: Prince!Steve x Princess!Reader x Prince!Bucky

Series Warnings: Strong Language, Violence, Angst, Fluff (There will be some fluffy stuff I promise, I can't resist), Smut: This series will include some aspects of Dub-con/Non-con: Steve and Bucky aren't going to be Prince Charmings. More Warnings will be posted on Chapters. 

Masterlist

Part One: End of an Era 

Chapter Warnings: Gore, Violence 

Word Count: 3.2k

“We’re losing too many men, my Lord.” Sir Rhodes was able to yell over the cries of the men, who were falling quickly, to Thanos’ blades.

“They are surrounding us; they mean to crush us.” Lord Parker informed, Anthony watched in horror as his men were quickly surrounded by Thanos’ guard caging them in a circle of swords and shields.

“Where is King Stephen, we need his men.” Anthony called out, shoving some of his men away from him, Thanos’ men were beginning to edge their way in, making their circle tighter and tighter.

“He is nowhere to be seen, my Lord. I believe that he is-“ Lord Parker was unable to finish his sentence, as one of Thanos’ guards raised his spear, thrusting it through the air with such force, it pierced straight through Lord Parker’s helmet, swiftly ending his life.

“Richard!” A voice called from across the circle of death; Lord Parker’s brother, Earl Parker, yelped in dismay. Distracted by his brother’s death, he was unaware of the closing shield wall, that soon swallowed him in a stampede of iron boots and swords.

“Benjamin!” Anthony called, watching as his own army began to trample each other, in their own desperation to survive.

His breathing laboured, he looked for a pocket or a gap in the closing ranks, but he was unsuccessful, everywhere he turned, more of his men were being stomped and stabbed, either by their comrades or by Thanos’ waiting steel.

“This is the end for you, King Stark, watch as your people and fellow Kingdoms fall…at the hand of Thanos, The Inevitable.” The dark and gravel voice that sent chills done Anthony’s back.

Stark was powerless to stop him, the pit becoming narrower and narrower; he himself, began to fight for breath, the men had caged him in, their bodies pressed closely, Anthony looked to the sky, it was grey and clouded.

‘Fitting.’ He thought. ‘For the end.’

He felt as though, he had taken his final breath, when suddenly through the shouts and pleas, he heard the unmistakable rumble of horses’ hooves. At first, he believed that his mind was playing tricks on him. That in his final hours the Gods were tormenting him, just before his death.

But then came the sound of a horn, not just any horn, but a battle horn.

Turning his attention from the sky, to the nearby hills, he noticed the crowd of horses that were advancing from the horizon. The Kamar-Taj banners flying high on the long poles.

Anthony let out what little breath he could, in relief, watching as King Stephen’s men quickly dealt with Thanos’ crushing circle. As more of his men fell, the looser the circle became, and Anthony’s men were able to free themselves, and take part in the glorious massacre.

Anthony discovered Thanos, who was attempting to flee the battle ground, his horse was injured, and was flaying and whimpering, staggering on its wounded legs.

“Move you, wretched beast. Obey your master.” Thanos roared, spurring the horse’s side, but the horse moved no faster, exhausted and weary.

“This is why you are a unworthy King, Thanos.” Anthony stalked towards him, drawing his sword as he walked.

The horse was spooked by the screeching of the metal as it slid from it’s sheaf. The glint of the metal, that was partially stained with mud and blood, danced in the horse’s eyes, causing it to rear up, sending Thanos crashing to the floor.

Realising that it’s master had been thrown, using it’s last fuse of energy, it broke into a distressed sprint, through the trees of the nearby woods.

Thanos shrunk away from Anthony’s towering stance, the man’s eyes were dark with anger and determination, he wanted to end the tyranny and pain the bad King had brought upon his Kingdom and his kin’s.

“You nearly took everything from us,” Anthony stood over the would-be God, enjoying seeing the man cower.

“My Lord, I did what I only saw as right, I did what I felt must be done.” Thanos stammered, crawling onto his knees, and bowing his head, in supposed shame.

“Five years, you have brought nothing but grief and blood, to my family, to my people, to my Kingdom. Now you must pay the price for your crimes.

“But, your Grace, I am a King, I am the King of Titan, what I did was nothing new, was nothing spontaneous, it will repeat itself for millennias to come. I am…inevitable.”

Anthony could not bear to hear another worthless word escape the man’s mouth. The grip of the handle grew tighter, his fingers curved round the leather grip, as he stood to the side of the fallen King.

“Look upon your Kingdom for the final time, your highness. Watch as the flames of heaven, scorch your damned Kingdom of it’s sin, as it burns you from history.”

Anthony raised his sword, Thanos looked upon the grounds as he was told to, watching the way his men would cower and scream, as they met their deaths, at the hand of King Anthony and Stephen’s men.  

“You see, your Grace…you may be inevitable, but I am…The Iron King.”

Raising the sword above his head, he brought it crashing down, slicing through the fragile skin of Thanos’ neck.

There came a cheer from the knights, as they watched the fallen King’s head roll onto the battlefield, drowning in a puddle of blood.

~~~~~~

“To King Anthony and King Stephen.” Sir Rhodes cheer, lifting his goblet high, the other men following suit.

“To the Iron King.” King Stephen rose from his seat, lifting his own wine in good gesture to Anthony, the glint in his eyes did not match his unnerving smile.

“To the Iron King.” The men roared, before downing the contents of their goblets, and beginning to scrabble amongst themselves to refill their cups.

Anthony flashed a smile, but swiftly looked down, when he caught King Stephen’s eyes glaring at him from across the room.

“I’d like to thank you, personally, my Lord.” Anthony’s eyes trailed up the woman’s body, who stood before him. A sad, yet warming smile, stretched across her face.

“Lady Parker…” Anthony stammered, his heart tightening in his chest, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Anthony extended his hand, Lady Parker reached for it, allowing Anthony to kiss it gently.

“It is indeed a great loss, losing my husband and brother-in-law, in one dreadful, yet magnificent day. I’d like to congratulate you on your victory against the Titans and thank you for taking young Peter as your ward. You will give him a life that a boy requires to grow into a man, a life that I cannot give him.” Lady Parker spoke solemnly.

“I will do only half the job that you could have done, my Lady.” Anthony replied, glumly “It is I, who should be thanking you. You gifted me two wonderful and strong warriors, and now I have a fine young boy, who has the bloodline and the heritage that will further lead my Kingdom to victory. I will raise him, as if he were my own son.”

Lady Parker’s warm smile, faltered slightly, when Anthony mentioned the idea that her nephew would engage in similar service that the men in her family had been slaughtered in.

“I ask for only one thing, my Lord. Please don’t allow me to speak, if you think that my words may be too bold…”

“Please, Lady Parker, you are amongst friends here.” Anthony motioned to his wife and young daughter who had sat either side of him.

“Peter has seen so much death, in his young life. So much pain, and anguish. After losing his mother to the fever, that also took your dear wife, Gods rest her soul…He has found it hard to adjust to life without that compassion and empathy that only a mother can give.”

“It is true; a boy without a mother, can turn savage. I understand your concerns.” Anthony dropped his head slightly, the feeling of his own past and family mishaps weighing heavy on his shoulders.

“Then you must understand my wish, my Lord. I wish for my nephew to not know bloodshed. I understand as a boy, who will become a man, there are certain qualities that he must possess, but I only ask that you keep him protected from the gores of war and he will no longer know of sudden death and unexpected grief.” Lady Parker swiftly wiped at her cheek, catching a stray tear that seemed to trail down her face.

Anthony was unsure of what to say, of what to promise this poor woman, who stood, practically pleading with him.

“I do understand your wish, Lady Parker, and I will do my best to protect young Peter, from the flames of war and death. He will be an educated man, much like his father.” Anthony tried showing his best smile, watching Lady Parker sigh in relief.

“Thank you, your Grace. Thank you so much.” Lady Parker curtsied a few times, before bowing her head to The Queen, and scuttling away from the table.

With the Lady now gone, Anthony once again caught eyes with King Stephen, who appeared to be unmoved, as he chewed expectantly on his boar’s leg.

Anthony cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable under the other King’s stare.

“Are you alright, my love?” The Queen placed he hand on Anthony’s, pulling away when she felt how cold and clammy it had become, despite the warmth and stuffiness of the room.

“Are you okay, daddy?” Y/N, clutched his other arm, looking up at Anthony’s big brown eyes, watching as they clouded with worry and fear.

“I’m just tired from the battle, we should have waited longer, before we threw this celebration.” Anthony replied, shortly.

“What is the matter, Tony?” The Queen pressed, watching as Anthony continued to shift around in his seat.

“Daddy, why are King Stephen’s sons looking at me like that?” Anthony’s eyes snapped up to the other stretched wooden table, that was in front of them. Ignoring Stephen’s harsh gaze, he followed along the table, spotting Stephen’s two sons, staring at his daughter like she was a piece of meat.

“Pep, I need to speak with you…right now.” Without another word, he stood from the table, most of the hall fell silent, unable to ignore the fact that the King had just upped and left without an announcement.

Smiling awkwardly, the Queen stood from her throne, nodding to the crowd by way of excuse before trotting after Anthony.

“What is it, my darling? Why are you so on edge? We should be celebrating your glorious victory.” The Queen grabbed Anthony’s face, hoping to calm him by rubbing her thumbs over his weathered cheeks.

“There is something I must tell you, my love.” Anthony could barely look his wife in the eyes, as he fished for the words that he needed to say.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, the little girl, who had tugged on her father’s arm, had slid off her seat, and unnoticed by the rest of the guests had followed hot on her father’s heals, watching her step-mother and father, from behind a suit of armour, careful to remain silent so she could over-hear their conversation.

“Just tell me, Tony. It can’t be that bad.” The Queen sighed, her smile kind and her eyes warm, as she continued to coax her husband out of his frightened and weary state.

“I know that we promised to decide together, what would happen when we matched made for Y/N.” Anthony began, his own palms flattening on the Queen’s shoulders.

Y/N ears pricked at the mention of her name, shuffling slightly so she could hear better.

“It was Queen Y/M/N final words to me as her Lady-in-Waiting.” The Queen spoke sadly.

Y/N’s eyes glazed momentarily, when the mention of her late mother was brought up. The memories of her biological mother were becoming hazy as she grew older, her face was beginning to fog, and it made her sad to think that soon she would be completely forgotten. The only thing that kept the memorial tie, was the paintings her father had commissioned, that hung proudly in her room and the halls.

Queen Virginia, who had been Queen Y/M/N Lady-in-Waiting, was not bothered by the paintings of her husband’s ex-wife, as she had loved the Queen almost as dearly, and allowed for one of the paintings to hang in the throne room, to remind others of her beauty.

Queen Virginia, or Pepper as Anthony affectionally called her, had been so close to Queen Y/M/N, and had been one of the few at her bedside, when she unfortunately passed from fever.

“I know, but…” Anthony broke from his gaze with the Queen, his tongue freezing in his throat. Y/N turned back to her father, who had grown paler as he locked eyes with his wife.

“Tony…” the Queen eyed his suspiciously, “What have you done?”

“King Stephen required payment, for the sacrifices of his men, and his overall endorsement in the war with the Titans.” Anthony breathed, he sat on one of the stone window seals, his knees felt weak.

“What did he ask for, it is to be expected? Was it more lands, cattle?” Pepper edged towards him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

“King Stephen…has requested…” Anthony swallowed hard, his mouth and throat feeling dry, “…that Y/N be given in marriage to Prince Steven and Prince James.”

The Queen gasped, her hand covering her mouth, trying to contain her shock.

Y/N, who had been leaning heavily on the armour, slipped on the shining metal, in her dazed state, causing the armour to squeak slightly.

Diving behind the wall, before her father could spot her, she sat with her legs pulled to her chest, and eyes wide, as she re-iterated her father’s words, over and over again, in her head.

She realised that the couple had started speaking again, tuning her ears into their conversation.

“Tony you can’t,” Pepper gasped, “She is only 10 years of age, the boys must be what...7-8 years older than her. Oh, Tony you can’t do this. Have you not heard the stories?”

“Yes.” Anthony replied, briskly, standing from his stone seat, “Don’t you think I hate the thought, of my precious baby girl, in the jaws of those two creatures.”

Y/N’s breathing quickened, she was only little, but she too had heard the stories of the two Princes, who came from Kamar-Taj. Peter had told them to her, when they had been playing in the courtyard.

The story of the two sons; who were so wicked and cruel, they had brought about the deaths of their mothers, when they were no more than infants. Peter had told Y/N a story, of how the Princes had cut one of their nanny’s heads off, when they were only five and six.

“Tony you must refuse the proposal, I will not allow Y/M/N daughter to be mistreated by-“

“She is my daughter too!” Y/N shook at her father’s enraged tone, she had never heard him yell, at least not with so much rage and anger, especially not at his wife.

“Do you think that if there was any other way, I would offer up anything-anything, so that my daughter would be free, I’d give my soul to the devil, I would give up the ability to create anymore heirs, I would do anything, to protect my angel. She is the last thing that I have, that links me to Y/M/N. The only thing that I have left of her.” Anthony’s voice settled down, to almost barely a whisper.

“It must be done. King Stephen says it is all that he wants, and if I refuse then he would wage war against the Iron Islands,” Anthony sighed, “My people can’t cope with another war, it must be done.”

“Daddy, please don’t.” Y/N sprung from her hiding place, taking both of the royals by surprise. She wrapped herself around Tony’s leg, burying her face in his breaches, allowing the rich material to soak up her tears.

“Please don’t give me away to those beasts.” Y/N sobbed, Anthony brushed his fingers through her hair, the top of her head began to grow wet, when his own tears began to drip.

“My little bug, I would do anything to keep you safe,” Anthony hoisted the young girl on to his hip, holding her tightly to his chest, “If I don’t allow this marriage, then King Stephen will cause a war, that could see you and Lady Mother being killed. At least this way, I know that you will be safe.”

Pepper sent him an unconvinced glance, that Anthony had to ignore, choosing to bury his face in his daughter’s hair, savouring the smell of her luscious locks.

“I think it is time for bed.” Pepper announced, watching the young Princess’ eyes begin to droop, as she pressed her head under Anthony’s chin.

Scooping Y/N out of Anthony’s arms, she began to carry her to her bedroom, in her tall tower.

“Would you like me to take her, my Lady?” Lady Maria asked, holding her arms out to take the child.

“No thank you, Maria. I will put the Princess to bed tonight.” Pepper nodded, and Lady Maria curtsied back, before leaving the Queen and the Princess alone in her bedroom.

Pepper begins to undress Y/N, pulling her uncomfortable corset off, and sliding her little night dress over her sleepy head.

“Why did you marry my daddy, Lady Mother?” Y/N asked through a yawn, as Pepper laid her back in her bed.

“When your mother was…unwell…she told me and your daddy, that she didn’t want him to be alone, and that you needed a mother, so she said that daddy and I would be best suited to one another.” Pepper explained, as tactfully as she could.

“But did you love him?” Y/N tilted her head, not wanting to upset her step-mother, but wanting to understand.

“At first…no…I loved him as my King, but I struggled to love him as my husband, I was so worried about replacing your mother, but then I found a letter that she had written me before she…passed away…It read that she wanted me to be happy, and that she wanted Anthony, your daddy, to be happy as well, and she knew that I cared for you and loved you very much as if you were my own daughter, and that is what she wanted for her precious baby girl.”

“So you fell in love with daddy, because of me?” Y/N quirked an eyebrow, still not quite grasping the sentimental memory.

“Well…yes…I suppose we did. You brought your father and I together. Our love for you, was strong enough to bring us together, and now I love your father unconditionally, and he does to.” Pepper had climbed into the large bed, which was, despite it’s size, still a challenge, with her puffy under skirt and poufy gold dress.

“Will the evil Princes love me?” Y/N worried, looking up.

“You mustn’t call them that, little one. And I’m sure that you will warm their hearts like you do, with your daddy and I.” Pepper beamed.

“What will I be when I grow up, Lady Mother?” you asked, the bed sheets wrapped high under your chin, your arms clutching your knees.

        “You will be Queen, my darling,” she cupped your face, and you leaned into her touch, “and a warrior.”

A/N: I’m back bitches...sorry about the long wait, this book will be updated weekly rather than daily, but I’ve reached a point where I need to be more chill and place less stress on myself with deadlines. Hope you enjoyed, feel free to Like! Reblog! Comment! 

And the Taglist is always open!!

Taglist 

@readermia @this-is-a-chilis-drive-thru @bbywtchh @liakrichards @nisha-misha97 @waywardwifey​ @xxblueslothxx @randomtails @emma-is-a-nerd @hhxppyyy @viviennebloom​ @in-a-constant-daydream6​ @actualhobbitjenny​

[deancaskiss]

Tinsel and Tourists - Chapter Fifteen

Word Count: 1,182

Cas’ POV

Link to ao3 / Link to masterpost

Bonus: Link to Destiel December Peppermint Ficlet Day 7 (posted earlier today if anyone wants some fluffy cuddles and peppermint candles)

Cas winced slightly, pouting at what would be a rather huge bruise forming across his thigh in the next few hours. But he was far more worried about Dean. He reached out, putting his hands on Dean’s chest and doing a quick once over. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked quickly, moving his hands to cup Dean’s face.

“I’m fine,” Dean muttered, pushing Cas’ hands away forcefully. The movement was jarring, and it sent a spike of panic straight to Cas’ heart. Was Dean angry with him for letting him fall? Had he ruined their date? Dean did not trust him anymore?

“Dean, I'm so sorry-” Cas started to say, scrambling to try and pull himself up and away, but Dean’s hand shot out, grabbing Cas’ forearm and keeping him in place.

“Hey, no, it’s okay. Really. It’s alright. I uh- I overreacted because um-” Dean broke off, scrubbing his face with his free hand and letting out a strangled sound. “Goddammit. Because it’s embarrassing falling in front of you like that.”

Cas looked at Dean, really looked at him, and he noticed the dark stain to his cheeks and the way Dean’s eyes weren’t meeting his; cheeks flushed not from the wind but from shame.

Cas reached out again, letting his fingers settle on Dean’s jaw, and this time, Dean leaned into the touch. “Hey, it’s okay, Dean. Seriously. I’ve wiped out so many times on the ice it’s unreal. It was my fault, not yours. I promised not to let you fall, and I did. I’m sorry, Dean. I should’ve taught you how to stop first.”

Finally, Dean’s eyes met his, and Cas let out a breath of relief he didn’t even realize he was holding onto. There was no anger in Dean’s eyes; only a hint of shyness.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Not hurt, are you?” Cas pressed.

Dean shook his head. “Just a bruised ass and a bruised ego. But I’m alright.”

Nodding in relief, Cas made to move again, and Dean yanked on him harder. “Where are you going, good-looking?”

Now it was Cas’ turn to flush, cheeks tingeing pink at Dean’s words. He kept saying things like that; calling him handsome and hot and good-looking, and it was making Cas’ head spin. How could someone as sinfully gorgeous at Dean be calling him things like that? Dean was the attractive one here, and God, was Dean handsome. Even sprawled out across the ice, Dean was still devastatingly beautiful.

“I’m getting up so that I can help you up. I believe I still owe you a kiss. If you still want me to kiss you, that is?” Cas asked, chewing at his lower lip nervously. Maybe Dean wouldn’t want Cas to kiss him anymore. Especially after he’d promised not to let Dean fall and yet they’d both ended up crashing to the ground.

Dean shook his head, and Cas instantly felt his heart shatter. God, he really had ruined it. How could he have been so stupid? The first guy he’d gone and fallen for in years and he’d managed to screw it up on the first date.

But then Dean’s hands were on his jacket, pulling him in closer. “I’d rather you kiss me right here, right now,” Dean said, drawing Cas’ face in until their noses bumped together softly.

Cas’ heart stuttered to a stop in his chest, before leaping into his throat and beating so fast Cas felt dizzy. “You- you still want me to kiss you?”

“Do you really think one fall on the ice was going to make me not want you? God, Cas. I’m freaking crazy about you, and all I want is for you to kiss me again,” Dean murmured.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. If Cas thought his heart was beating fast before, it all but felt like it was bursting in his chest now. Had Dean really just said that? Oh God. Cas wasn’t just falling anymore. Nope. He was head over heels for Dean. Absolutely smitten.

“I’m crazy about you, too, Dean. Like utterly gone for you,” Cas admitted, words slipping from his mouth unfiltered. It was true though. Cas couldn’t help it. He was so into Dean it was unreal. Completely infatuated.

“Then kiss me, Cas.”

And Cas did, closing the gap and locking their lips together in a searing kiss. Their lips glided together, tongues just ever so softly brushing against each other. Dean let out a little groan, and Cas all but snapped, leaning further forward and kissing Dean harder; mouths breaking apart and instantly crashing back together again.

The kisses melded from soft and sweet to desperate and deep, and Cas’ head was spinning with ecstasy. Catching Dean’s lower lip between his own, Cas licked across Dean’s lip, nipping slightly before finally breaking the kiss as his lungs burned for air. He gasped in a sharp breath of air, before leaning in and kissing Dean once more; this time gentle and slow, just their lips pressing together and sliding against each other before Cas pulled away.

Dean looked up at Cas with starry eyes, and Cas felt the breath get knocked from his lungs all over again. “Did I make up for letting you fall?” Cas asked.

“God, yes,” Dean said, smiling brightly as he pressed their foreheads together. “Best damn kiss of my life.”

Cas felt himself flush again, and he moved to hide his head in Dean’s shoulder. “Every kiss with you is the best of my life,” Cas admitted, words pressed against Dean’s throat.

“You know, not that I wouldn’t stay here making out with you for the rest of the night, but I’m getting extremely cold now,” Dean said with a laugh.

Shit. Cas hadn’t even realized they were both still sitting on the ice. “Let me help you up?” Cas asked, waiting for Dean to nod yes before he disentangled himself out from Dean’s embrace. With practiced ease, Cas used his skates to push himself back up, before he settled his weight and offered Dean his hand. “I won’t let you fall again, I promise.”

“I trust you,” Dean said, linking their fingers together as he let Cas yank him up into his personal space. “Hey you,” Dean said when he was pressed up against Cas again.

“Hey handsome,” Cas replied, ghosting his mouth over Dean’s before leaning back with a teasing smile. “I still have that hot cocoa. What do you think? Time to get off the ice and warm up?”

The grin that crossed Dean’s lips was blinding, and it made Cas’ heart stutter in his chest all over again. “Hot cocoa and more mistletoe. Sounds like Heaven to me,” Dean said.

Cas cocked his head even though he was smiling like an idiot. “Oh? What makes you think I’m going to use that to kiss you again?”

Dean smirked, licking across his lower lip, and Cas tracked the movement with a sharp breath. “Well, if you don’t use it to kiss me, then I’m stealing it so I can kiss you.

Tag List Part 1 Below- (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list!)

Tag List: @cas-deserved-so-much-more @hello-x-sunshine​ @bibelphegor​ @likepurplemuses​ @expectingtofly​ @neo-neo-neo​ @shadowywerewolfqueen​ @a-sweet-indisposition​ @feraladoration​ @xojo​

@oganizediguana​ @paintdriesfaster​ @adsp-destielcockles​ @destielangst​ @im-your-huckle-berry @justa-crayon​ @dea-stiel​ @superduckbatrebel​ @destielfactory​ @miluiel-erynion​

@y-yo-a-ti-cas67 @cockleslovesdestiel​ @toxic-nebula​ @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @enchantinghairdoherringwombat​ @proudace​ @galaxymysteryelephant​ @aelysianmuse​ @ramennoodles-dean-cas @you-changedmedean

@gmos-winter-wonderland @deansotherotherblog​ @trekkie24 @geo-val​ @dizzypinwheel​ @hermionevaldez9​ @gimmeprozac @iamsherlockedondoctorwho​ @dickspeightjrs​ @imbiowaresbitch​

@destielle​ @hopefuldreamers-world​ @organicpurplepants​ @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you​ @shut-up-dean​ @sapphirecobalt-1​ @eshaninjer​ @spnobsessed50​ @mishka​ @holygoddessofvictory​​

@jayus-fandom-writer​​ @2musiclover2​​ @rainbowscas @bennedict​ @cassiecasyl​ @jensenacklesruinedmylife​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @chaoticdean​ @destiel-trash-asf​ @tlakhtwritesdestiel​

@bri-winchester​ @50shadesofcockles @trasherasswood​ @spittingpagan @castielstolemyheart @becky-srs @phoenix13 @jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets @deancasology @top13zepptraxx

@love-neve-dies @good-things-do-happen-dean @tearsofgrace @thedirtytrenchcoat @a-porno-with-the-russian-mafia @on-a-bender @moi-the-bard @one-more-offbeat-anthem @naturallyathief @queen-rowenas

[beccascribbles]

the first of many ii - seijoh third years

the first ‘i love you’ is a moment documented in every relationship. it’s special, an open and honest revelation of your feelings for each other.

warnings - the occasional swear word

word count - 1.7k

PART 1 | PART 2

you had just finished working in the library and decided to head over to the gym, knowing that your boyfriend was likely to still be there. ever since their most recent loss against shiratorizawa (and more importantly ushijima), he had been pushing himself harder and harder

you slipped in quietly, taking a seat where you were far enough from the court to avoid any stray balls ricocheting your way

for a while, you just sat and watched, occasionally checking the time

it was clear to you that he was overworking himself. sweat was rolling down his face and he was favouring his left leg

you watched him serve again, brow furrowed in concern

it was clear to you that he was struggling. you could see through the cracks in his facade, the pain that hovered just beneath the surface

it broke you. you couldn’t just sit there as the man you loved destroyed himself

the man you loved...

holy shit. you were in love with oikawa tooru

getting to your feet, you made your way over to him, making the conscious choice to stand in front of where he was serving the ball from

you reached out, grasping his wrist that held the volleyball

“tooru, i think it’s time to go home.”

he avoided making eye contact, instead choosing to move you to the side. he ignored you, going to serve the ball again

“jesus christ, tooru. why are you ignoring me?”

he spun around to face you, the usual affection missing from his gaze as he regarded you

“just go home. i don’t need you watching over me. if you’re that worried, you don’t have to watch.”

“are you fucking kidding me?” your voice came out harsh, the words scathing. “are you really telling me to leave? even if i do, i won’t be able to stop thinking about you, to stop caring. i love you, tooru. why can’t you love yourself enough to stop this obsessive behaviour?”

“what did you just say?” his words were soft, his whole demeanour changing as his eyes widened. he stared at you. the volleyball fell from his grip

you flushed. “it’s not important. let’s go home. i’ll help you pack up.”

you began to move away but he leaped forward, grabbing you by the wrist, biting back a wince as he put too much weight on his right leg

his hands reached up to hold your face tenderly. “please, y/n-chan.”

you avoided his gaze, eyes studying the floor. “i love you.”

he pulled you into a hug, crushing you against his chest. “god. i love you too. i’m so sorry... let’s go. i think practice is over for today.”

honestly, he was probably very casual about it (if he stressed about his feelings, there was no way he would have had the courage to confess to you)

you were over at his house for the weekend as his parents were away

when you woke up, he was still asleep so you had decided to go down to the kitchen to make breakfast for the both of you

after rummaging around in the cupboards, you had finally located everything you needed and got to work

by the time iwaizumi shuffled down the stairs, the table was set and you had just finished making the both of you a cup of coffee. he wandered over, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck

“morning haji.”

he hummed in response, his head resting against your shoulder for a moment longer before he pulled away

you turned to face him, handing him his coffee, which he took. “thanks y/n.”

you took his hand in yours, pulling him towards the table, where you had set up breakfast

the whole thing was oddly domestic. he could picture waking up to you everyday, cooking with you, just being with you... the thought of it made him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside

you turned to him, a wide grin on your face as you pulled his chair out for him. you inclined your head and winked. “your seat, sir.”

it was then that it hit him. he was in love with you. the words tumbled out before he could stop them

“i love you.”

you blinked up at him slowly, the chair forgotten

“i love you too, hajime.”

“really?” he questioned, closing the gap between you and taking your hands in his. his eyes scoured your face, finding the answer in the way you gazed up at him

“yes.” you leaned up, brushing your lips against his gently. once. twice. just as you were about to pull away, he leaned forward, capturing your lips once again and deepening the kiss

“good. because i love you and i don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.”

you were out on a date with your boyfriend. it had been a while since you had hung out somewhere away from school, and you both needed it

“i feel like we’re in one of those romantic comedies you’re obsessed with, issei,” you teased, squeezing his hand which held yours across the table. he rolled his eyes at you before looking back at the dessert menu

you already knew what you were ordering. you’d come to this restaurant with your family before and were dying to be able to taste that cake again. it was like a little slice of heaven. you felt your mouth watering at the thought

matsukawa knew all too well the direction your mind had wandered. not only had he had to put up with you constantly talking about it for a good two weeks after you had first tasted it, he had picked this specific place because he knew how much you loved it

as you waited for the dessert to arrive, you just talked, trading jokes back and forth. it was easy, as comfortable as always. you really were everything he had ever wanted in a s/o

finally, the dessert arrived and you tucked in eagerly

“you know what i really love, issei?” you asked, spearing another piece of cake with your fork. he had an inkling of what you were going to say but decided to entertain it

“no. do tell.”

“cake” you declared, waving the piece you had just picked up with your fork. “especially this one.”

“want to know what i love?” he asked

“if you say cheese-filled hamburger steak...” you pointed your fork at him threateningly. he laughed, shaking his head. you nodded, again using the fork to shovel cake into your mouth

“i love you.”

you spluttered, almost choking on the cake you were trying to eat. “christ! you can’t do that to a woman while she’s eating. i almost had a heart attack.”

“what? i can’t tell the woman i love how i feel?”

“not when she’s eating!”

“duly noted for next time.”

BONUS:

“i love you too,” you said, tilting your head to look up at him as you walked home. he gave your hand an affection squeeze. “i know i didn’t say it back to you then. but i do love you. like a lot.”

“i know.”

he pressed a kiss to the side of your head as you continued to walk.

it had been a rough day today. you had struggled to understand what you were being taught in class, opting to skip lunch in favour of working in the library in attempt to wrap your head around the content

when the final bell rang, you found yourself back at the library and this is where hanamaki found you two hours later

you were so immersed in your work, you didn’t acknowledge his approach, furiously scribbling out your fourth wrong attempt in a row. you mumbled angrily to yourself, “for fucks sake.”

as you started on your fifth attempt at the same maths question, he began to pack up all the books you weren’t using, placing them in your bag before he turned his attention to you

the holding your pencil was shaking slightly, likely due to a combination of frustration and mental exhaustion. his hand moved to cover yours, gently wresting the pen from your grip

you blinked at him, his face slowly coming into focus. he was worried about you, that much was obvious

“come on. you’re coming back home with me. my parents won’t mind, and i’ll call your mum and ask her if you can stay over.”

you nodded, reaching over to close the textbook and your workbook, shoving them back into your bag as hanamaki called your mum. you were vaguely aware of him explaining why to your mum, finally hanging up after he’d promised to take good care of you

“come on. your mum said it’s okay.”

you took his offered hand, walking beside him as you made your way to his house. the conversation was lighthearted, steering clear of what had occurred earlier. he figured you would tell him when you were ready

and tell him you did. he could cheer you up with ease and had the ability to make you view the issue in a different light

once you were sat on his bed, you just broke down into tears, stumbling over your words. “its just been such a shitty day. nothing makes sense anymore. i just keep hitting a brick wall and there’s nothing i can do about it. clearly i’m too stupid to understand. i’ll never get into uni at this rate. how can you stand to be with such a failure takahiro?”

he knelt down on the floor in front of you, his hands reaching up to cup your face. “don’t say that. why wouldn’t i want to be with you? you’re amazing, supportive and passionate, not to mention a great kisser. i love you.”

you let out a sob, hands clutching at his shirt as he wrapped his arms around you. you head rested against his shoulder. “i love you too.”

he pulled away, brushing a kiss against your tear-stained cheeks

“now, let’s get out of our uniform and change into something more comfortable. dinner will be ready soon and then we’ll come back here and watch a film. sound good?”

you nodded, already beginning to look through his wardrobe for your favourite t-shirt of his to wear

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

“YES, I CAN HEAR YOU”

Johnny “Coco” Cruz x Reader

Anon asked: could you write something angsty with angel or coco?

Warning: a little angst.

Word Count: 2.1k

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. English isn’t my first language, I’m sorry if I have some mistakes with grammar. Gif isn't mine. Also, I didn't study anything about Medicine, but I like drama.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

You didn't see the car, but you felt how you flew off the motorbike, falling into the wet ground. Last thing you saw were two girls screaming and running to you, covered by pain. The agonic kind you feel before die.

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

“What happened?!” Coco shouts crying when he finds the doctor. He's being followed by the crew, and Letti being supported by Chucky. She can't even walk without falling down.

“Johnny Cruz?”

“Yes, what happened?!”

“A car crashed her motorbike. She has several bruses, three broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and... we had to induce her into comma. The helmet saved her life”.

The world falls down to his feet. His legs trembled. Tranq forces him to have a seat, while the crying of Letti floods thr hallway. The faces of the guys talk for them. Coco is sobbing with his head between his arms, shaking it. No air in his lungs for a few seconds.

“Is gonna get better...?” Creeper asks with trembling voice, something they want and they don't want to know.

“We don't know”.

“What do ya' mean, uh?!” Coco jumps off his sit about to take him by the coat. Taza and Riz hold him apart, trying to calm the youngest.

“Next... hours... are crucial”. The doctor replies scared, walking back two steps.

“Can we... see her?” Letti talks, leaving away Chucky, with her eyes and cheeks covered in tears. The man nods pointing the room. She runs, her father too.

Their lives fall apart when they find you. You're laying in the bed with a tube in your mouth and a lot of cables around your body: connected to some fingers, another in your wrist, two in your nose. The girl has to cover her mouth before start crying loudly. Coco wrapped in his arms tightly, giving her a kiss on top of his head. Angel can't go to the room, he's not ready to see you and it hurts his chest too much.

You've been there for them the last five years, always helping the MC with whatever they asked you for. And Coco's daughter is your bestfriend since you met each other. It's painful can't do anything to help you when you most need them.

“Sometimes, they can listen”. The doctor says, holding your medical record between both hands. “I recommend you talk to her as normal as possible. I mean, talk about how were your day, what movie you saw on tv...”

“Stay with her, brother. I'm gonna do all the paperwork”. Bishop puts a hand on his shoulder, stretching it for a second. “The club will pay everything”.

“You don't ha...”

“She's one of us, Coco. Club decision”.

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

Yes, you could hear them.

Members of Stockton, Yuma and Samcro went to visit you. They talked you about how was going everything and telling you that, when you came home, a big party would be waiting you. The longest one with the four charters together. And you would like to smile, to say that will be amazing, but you can't.

Bishop, Tranq and Taza visited you every night. They laugh about something funny happened that day. Maybe Chucky left the crane on and destroyed a car. Maybe Angel got slapped by one of Vicky's girl. Or the recurrent story in wich they tell you that a cat went inside the clubhouse and broke a whole box full of beers, before lick it from the floor.

Riz, Creeper and Gilly went often. Every three or four hour you heard them saying “hi, pequeña, we're here again to bother you”. Sometimes they argued about what tv show is better, or talk about they wanted a new tattoo and you should choose it when you're awake.

The Reyes family always went together. Felipe was the optimist one. He used to tell you about his childhood and adolescence. Funny stories of an old man. EZ and Angel are like your brothers, so seeing you in that kind of conditions was painful. But they were there too, telling you everything was gonna be ok and how much they were missing you.

Letti and Coco made the hospital their home. Bishop ‘gave a present’ to have a bigger room with comfy sofas where they could sleep better. The younger was forced to continue with the high-school, being picked up by Chuky to go back to the hospital. Coco never left you, holding your hand, kissing you all the time. He also cleaned your face every morning and every night. Brushed your hair and put some of his cologne in your pillow to make you felt like you were at home. When he wasn't reading you ‘Hamlet’, 'cause EZ told him was your favourite book, making a lot of additionals comments like ‘shit, baby, everybody dies here’ or ‘what the hell is happening’; he mostly was in silence, blaming himself for what happened that night.

It was raining. A rare storm installed on Santo Padre and the surroundings. You were mad because you came home and he wasn't there, even when he promised you to make dinner and have some free time of the chaos. You had the accident on your way to the clubhouse. Two young girls were driving a car without license. They skipped a red light, tripling the allowed speed. You were there. And, like the doctor said, the helmet Coco gave you for your last birthday saved your life. One of those with full structure wich covered your head, face and neck. But your cross motorbike broke into pieces. But this was the less important.

Because of the shock and the pain, you had a kind of respiratory failure. Your lungs couldn't work. You also broke the left wrist and dislocated the right shoulder. Three splintered ribs, bruises around your body and a lash on the neck. The good news were that you only would need three months of rehabilitation and one for rest, after it. The comma was something preventive.

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

“Dammit, mami! You look good in this white pajama!” Coco gives you a kiss on the forehead, laying on the hospital bed, when the nurses have showered you. He puts an arm under your neck, carefully, holding you next to his body.

As the days goes by, you have less cables connected. You also don't need a mask to breathe better anymore and the analyzes show positive results. The crew, your family, are happy and feels better.

“You know, we talked about marriage and this... bullshit, and no following traditions, but white is definitely your color, baby”. He has a smile on his tired face, stroking your hair. “We've to marry, you hear me?”.

Tears running again down by his cheeks, pressing his lips against your temple with all the love he feels for you.

“You...” Your throat is dry and it hurts a little, but you're feeling like life is giving you a second chance. So you take it.

“(Y/N)?” Letti jumps off of the couch, Creeper and Gilly walks to the bed. Coco is looking at you with his eyes opened like never before. Everyone is having a heartattack.

“Fuc... Fucking crybaby”. With a lot of effort you smile being sleepy yet.

“Baby! Mami! Can 'hear me?”

You nod one time, drawing a painful gesture on your face. Everyone goes crazy. Creeper shouts calling the doctor, Letti hugs you and Gilly starts to call the crew by phone. You can feel Coco's hand narrowing yours, kissing your lips once and again desperately.

“Shit, mami, you scared me”. He laughs in tears, while you try to put an arm on Letti's back. “How 'feel? Need something?”

“Wa-Water, please...” You mutter clicking the tongue.

Letti, literally, runs to the table three meters away to take a small bottle. Carefully she offers you directly to your lips with soft sips. Oh, god, it feels like heaven when the liquid falls down by your throat till your stomach. The headache is gone, as the pain that involved your body the last two weeks. The plaster in your wrist is a little uncomfortable, taking a look of it raising the heavy hand in air. You look around confused and kinda anxious. It wasn't a dream. You're really there.

“What happened? Where's my bike?” You inquire, turning your face to Coco with your mouth almost open. By his gesture you know he hasn't any good to say. Licking your inner lip, you nod.

“Two crazy chicks ran you ove’, (Y/N)” He stucks both ankles on the mattress, taking your hand between his to gives you some kisses. He closes his eyes stroking one of his cheek with it. You can see the black shadows under his eyelids and the beard in the jaw.

Moving yourself all you can, you take his other cheek with the tiny fingers, inside the cast around your arm, and a wince, bowing to him. You press your lips against his, softly, in a warm way. You need to say ‘thank you for being my anchor’ without words, and Coco can feel it. You love him. You love him the most and nothing else matters. Hugging him, you start to cry. He couldn't felt the pain in every inch of your body, but you felt every day his. And it was horrible couldn't say you were ok, and you were hearing everything he said to you, hold his hand or move your head.

“This wasn't your fault”. You say, brushing his lips with yours. “Don't say that again. It was those girls, not you Coco. Even the storm has more fault on it”.

“Must have been home, baby... Making dinner, waitin' you”. He shakes his chin, closed eyes, noses lifting perfectly as a puzzle.

“Coco, stop”. You demand kissing him again, before be interrupted by the doctor.

“(Y/N), is good to see you awake. How you feel?”

“Like I learned to fly in the worst way”. Trying to laugh, coughs some times. Letti smiles laying next to you. She missed you too a lot and, by difference, she was who talked you the most. Even Gaby went to see you.

“Sense of humor is a good omen. Do you wan...”

“Oh, god, please don't. I heard it a thousand times”. You beg for a moment. “Wrist, ribs, shoulder, neck, blablabla... How many time do I have to stay here?”

“If everything goes as good as now, maybe in one or two weeks you'll be at home”.

“You hear' that, mami? You should have your meds and do whatever doc' says, to come home next week”. Coco sounds excited, smiling for the first time since one month ago. He kisses you again all over your face, holding you in his arms.

“Enjoying your holidays?” Angel's voice sounds agitated, stopping at the door till your eyes meet.

In two big steps he reaches the bed, while Coco gives you some space to be hugged for the man with a biggest smile in his face. The crew start to arrive too. Jokes, laughs and kisses flood the room. You can see some colorful flowers around, even two huge balloons are floating in a corner. That probably was Riz's idea. You're pretty sure.

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

“You good, mami?”

Lights off and one of your legs on his waist. Coco has you between his arms, tightly and warmly. You're finally home, in your bed, smelling again like your favourite human being. Happiness isn't enough to explain how you feel, hidding your face under his chin.

“I always am when I'm with you, papi”. You say in a whisper, tangling your fingers in his shirt to put him closer. “Will you read me tomorrow a little more of ‘Hamlet’? It was my favourite part of the day”.

“'Course I'll do, baby. I'll do anythin' ya' ask me for”.