#HE IS NOT A HIMBO I REST MY CASE

[seriousbrat]

let sirius (and james) be mean

Obviously in SWM both James and Sirius are atrocious towards Snape but I think it's pretty revealing how mean they also are to their best friends, especially Peter:

And while I think James possibly grew out of his mean girl phase to some extent Sirius didn't, at least not fully. To be fair he's usually not outright rude unless he dislikes someone-- mostly, he's dismissive or impatient especially when someone says something he perceives as stupid, as well as being overall insensitive to the feelings of others.

In the prequel they're both fairly insensitive and rude to two terrified Muggles lol, I mean who cares and it's funny but there are examples of Sirius being something of a mean girl later on as an adult. obviously, the famous one:

and yeah you can defend this by saying he was stuck in grimmauld place and frustrated, bla bla bla, I do get it and I still love him and don't think it makes him a terrible person or godfather but objectively this is an incredibly mean thing to say to Harry.

Other somewhat minor instances that nevertheless paint a wide picture:

OotP (I'm leaving out his interactions with Kreacher bc those are self evident)

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he's also kind of dismissive towards Harry's feelings at certain points. A good example of this is the stiff "one-armed hug" and gruff goodbye he gives him when they leave for Hogwarts after christmas, or this earlier conversation:

Also, how he talks about Regulus. obviously it's somewhat justified since Sirius believes him to have just been a Death Eater, but he specifically calls Regulus stupid rather than just saying he was a bad person. This is interesting because it can be inferred that Regulus was not stupid at all, given that he figured out the secret of the Horcruxes. imo Sirius was too dismissive of his brother to actually know who he really was.

(and bonus him being snippy with Harry)

GoF

like this is probably true but it's still rude lol, as is this from OotP which has definite mean girl vibes:

next:

so this on its own doesn't seem especially mean but it does come after Sirius has basically dismissed every single thing that Ron has said lol, even raising his hand at one point to shut him up. It's not the worst but imo does indicate his impatience with "stupidity" which we also see in SWM:

and James has this too:

imo this shared feeling of superiority and mutual delight in their own intelligence were big factors in his closeness with james.

ALL THIS TO SAY, Sirius was mean lol ESPECIALLY as a teen. my rude scorpio child. So I think when writing teen Sirius it's an important part of his characterisation (and James's) for him not only to be rude/disdainful to people he hates but also just generally. It's also why it's extra ridiculous that he's portrayed as dumb in fanon seeing as he's very often dismissive and judgmental to those he perceives as being of lesser intelligence.

And this isn't a criticism of Sirius at all, I love him and tbh his mean streak is one of the things that make him so fun to write for me. He's a beloved character and I understand the desire to paint him in a positive light, but he wasn't perfect. As others have said the friendship between the Marauders wasn't something idyllic and aspirational, it's a warning story to Harry. Furthermore, kindness towards Kreacher being something that helps them find the Horcrux is also a lesson for Harry.

Sirius's insensitivity to the feelings of others was what got him killed, his insensitivity and disdain for peter led in part to James and Lily's deaths too. it doesn't make him a terrible person, just a flawed one.

[livingthedragonlife]

this is an extremely petty reason to do an analysis but i hate when people call laios a himbo, not only because it really reads as infantalization but also because it's just straight up not true.

the qualities of a himbo require you to be stupid, and that simply is not true in laios' case. for a simple example, he was able to recognize pretty much instantly that the living armors were moving in an abnormal way (coming right for them, instead of just attacking as they approach), and noticed when the Boss Armor (?) protected the shield instead of using it as a defense. he recognized the egg sac on the back, was able to exploit the instinct to protect it, and save the rest of the party with that knowledge right away.

laios is the one who's able to determine which illusions are the fakes, all by himself, with nothing but his knowledge of his party members and careful observation. laios figured out why the changeling spores act the way they do, based on nothing but observation and experience once again. laios is the one who talks marcille down from her dungeon lord rampage. laios is the one who, despite succumbing to the demon's influence himself, PLANNED FOR THAT TO HAPPEN, and gave himself a loophole that saved the entire fucking world. these are just the first things i can think of off the top of my head, if i really went back through the story, i'm positive there would be more examples of laios being knowledgeable and using that knowledge intelligently.

but let's back up. laios is called an idiot by many other characters in the story. why might that be?

well it's usually for: saying something socially inappropriate or blunt, talking about monsters (his special interest) too enthusiastically, not relating to the people around him, or not being able to understand social cues or read a room. he's even called "creepy" or "crazy" in multiple instances. when chilchuck first hears about how much laios wants to eat monsters, he calls him a psychopath. that's in the very first chapter.

the characters who call laios stupid and crazy are calling him that almost exclusively after he behaves "too autistically" around them. perhaps we are giving too much credence to the characters calling him a dumbass and should instead do some critical thinking to determine if it's true. because most of the time, they're wrong! go count the times laios is called stupid for having ideas that ultimately work.

that's not to say laios isn't funny! he's a silly guy! he straight up barks like a dog to solve problems. dungeon meshi is a comedy, so it would be kind of weird if he wasn't, but lack of intelligence is never the punchline. the fact that barking like a dog WORKS is what's funny, not that he was "stupid" to think of it in the first place.

laios is goofy. he makes silly mistakes. but that doesn't mean he's brainless. laios is not a himbo.

[suiana]

yan ‏prison warden sounds like someone how wasn’t huged by his mother often

hpwd u find that out

(yandere! prison warden x gn! inmate reader)

"hug? please?"

"no."

"also, how would i even do that. do you see the way my hands are cuffed behind my back? idiot."

he pouts at you before hitting the bars of your prison cell in response. his lips pucker cutely, eyebrows furrowing as he starts to throw yet another tantrum. ah and there he goes again... whining like a damn baby.

you seriously wish you you had chosen another guy to scam that one fateful day. maybe if you did you wouldn't even be in jail right now. but what's done is done. and you're here in this cell, rotting and wasting the rest of your life away.

to be honest, you wouldn't even mind if you were in jail if your warden wasn't this guy. a literal manchild.

"wait babe! what if i hug you instead?"

uh oh. no no no-

"cmere baby! aw you're so cute!"

he holds you tightly in his arms, coodling you like a child as you suffocate in his massive tits. shit! you knew you should've just accepted his request! things always end up like this when he initiates it!

"fu- get off!"

you push at his arms, trying to breathe as your face continues to get pressed up against his humongous man tits.

"nuh uh. you were being mean. this is your way of consoling me now."

he continues to cuddle you, unaware of the fact that you were suffocating in his chest. or maybe he was aware and just didn't say anything. yeah that's most likely the case. he's mean like that.

"gonna hold you until ya say you love me!"

...

does this mean you're staying like this forever?!

god damn it, why'd you have to scam such a beefy and muscular himbo who's completely obsessed with you?

[muddyorbsblr]

gestures & rain checks

See my full list of works here!

pre-story author's note: Yes I am very aware that it's been a solid month since Valentine's Day. Yes I am still posting this 🫡

Summary: It feels like your friends are getting plucked away from you one by one as their respective (or in Nat's case prospective) partners make grand gestures to ask them to be their Valentine.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warning/s: language (nope still not sorry, Rogers); mentions of alcohol; tooth-rotting fluff; gun use [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: Morgan being a precious beb; himbo!Thor hours; lowkey sad Reader hours; chaotic group chat vibes in the end

You always had a distaste for this day. Valentine's Day. To you, it was the one day a year that you would do everything in your power not to step outside because it reeked of flowers and chocolate marked up to the heavens for merchants to take advantage of last minute gift shoppers hoping to make a gesture big enough that their crush would let them score at the end of the night. Or guys buying extravagant and ridiculously large arrangements to make amends for wronging their partner as if a 10-foot tall teddy bear was gonna magically press some Undo button of him going on Hinge or Tinder and talking up a dozen other girls on the side.

There was one year that you let slip around Nat and Wanda that this day "smelled like a cemetery" with all the bouquets that bombarded you the second you exited the perimeter of the Compound. Hell, the second you left the main section that housed you and the rest of the Avengers. And you stood by that opinion stubbornly, mostly because you'd only ever witnessed flowers being given when someone was desperately trying to glue back together the pieces of a severely damaged relationship.

And also because no one had ever given you flowers in your entire life. Or chocolates. Or a teddy bear. All your past relationships were with men who were still mentally and emotionally boys that believed emojis and gifs sufficed and were as good as the real thing. Nary a single soul had ever actually spent a lick of time or effort to give you something that told you they deserved your time and effort in turn.

And after so many years of being barely an afterthought, the day just felt like this entity that you resented to an irrational degree, where all you wanted was to lay in bed and wait it out until the clock struck 12 and it was February 15th. Then you could go on a hunt for all the overpriced chocolate that suddenly got their prices slashed by 50% or more.

That was the plan again for this year, had it not been for both Nat and Wanda barging in to your apartment and practically dressing you up like you were their own life-sized definitely seen some better days Barbie doll. "Come on, we can go and have a Galentine's Day 2. Maybe hit up a club and get some free drinks…" the assassin trailed off, zipping up your dress and playfully swatting your ass to nudge you forward. "March on, soldier."

The common area was nearly bare and eerily quiet when you all got there, which made perfect sense considering that most of your teammates who were happily committed to someone were off spending their day together, probably executing their own personal twists on those cliched gestures of adoration. Knowing Tony, that would probably consist of a two-storey tall stuffed bunny or a lavish new vacation house as a nice private little getaway spot for him and Pepper when they wanted to have a date night.

Only Morgan and Shaun were at the big dining table by the kitchen, the little girl working on bracelets with the martial artist nursing a cup of coffee while he handed her beads to add to her work. "Whaddup, Ten Rings…Baby Stark," you greeted them, ruffling his hair and pressing a kiss to the top of your goddaughter's head. "What're you two up to this fine completely ordinary day?"

"Oof, I take it you're gonna be spending the day watching a bunch of couples be all extra lovey dovey just like me?" You threw him a look, squinting your eyes at him that had him throwing his hands in the air in surrender. "No need to mentally squish my head, Y/N, we're on the same side, I swear," he chuckled, scooting over to the other seat so you could sit next to Morgan. "How about this, karaoke later tonight? Just us and anyone else that doesn't have a date with dinner and co--" You swatted his arm to get him to stop talking, not so subtly signaling in the little girl's direction. "I mean…adult balloons?"

"Wait how come you have special balloons?" Morgan asked, looking up from her activity book and earning barely stifled chortles from both Nat and Wanda. "Why can't I play with them? I like balloons."

You leaned back in your seat, making a motion with your hands as if you were wiping them clean of the whole conversation. "I'm not helping you out of this one, buddy."

He scratched the back of his head, obviously backed into the corner with his own words. "Eeeeeh…put a pin in that and ask me again when you can order a beer, Baby Stark."

The child pouted at both of you, slumping down in her place at the table and slipping back on her princess pink headphones before focusing all her attention on her activity book again, grumbling something about how grownups shouldn't have conversations around her if they didn't want her to ask questions. Valid enough point, but you still weren't going to be the one to give her her first lesson in Sex Ed class a good decade ahead of time.

"Anyways…" Shaun poked at your side, calling your attention back to him. "Karaoke, ladies? We can pick up Katy and Wong before we head over and sing some Disney duets and gorging ourselves on shots and nachos--"

"Hold up, Wong?" You all turned your attention to Stephen, who'd just walked in to the common area. "This I gotta see. You guys have room for one more?"

"Sure thing, as long as you use your sling ring to help us get into Tony's private stash," you quipped, taking a sip of your coffee. "There's no way I'm getting through this day stone-cold sober."

"Or we could go for the really hard stuff and break into Thor's stash of mead from Asgard before he depletes his supply." He showcased the ring in question with a wiggle of his fingers. "Just a portal away."

"I like the way you think, Strange."

"You can all cease your scheming to pilfer my liquor, my friends," Thor's voice boomed into the area, a bounce in his step as he made his way to the coffee pot. "I would happily supply you all with two barrels if that would be enough for your gathering?"

"That's perfect, Thunder. Thanks." You started to tuck into the breakfast plate served by the Compound kitchen staff, mumbling your next question to the blond god. "What've you got planned with Jane for today?"

"Ah." A wide grin stretched across his face at the mention of his girlfriend, the sight both warming your heart and pinching it at the same time. A bittersweet reminder that in the midst of romantic plans with sentimental or grand gestures, your plans involved getting shit-faced with your fellow single friends. Plus Wanda and probably Vision. "Well, I have employed the aid of Wilson to order an ornate bouquet of Jane's favorite flowers which should arrive this morning. Then for lunch I shall prepare her a meal."

"Lunch?" Wanda questioned, tilting her head to the side. "Forgive me if I overstep, my friend, but aren't the romantic plans usually made for dinner?"

"Well, yes…but Jane has graciously agreed to adjusting our schedule for this day so that I may spend the time after lunch aiding my brother in a gesture of his own." A lump formed in your throat at the words. "It seems he wishes to get into the spirit of the holiday, and I am simply ecstatic that he came to me asking for a helping hand."

"I asked nothing of you, you over-muscled oaf," you heard the raven-haired god call out from the main entrance, two large packages hovering a few inches above the ground blanketed with a glow of green from his magic. "You volunteered when you imposed yourself in my space and hovered over my phone."

"Pfft, semantics," Thor waved off, already making his way over to Loki so that he could do some more apparently unnecessary volunteer work. "Are the flowers in one of your parcels?"

"I like flowers!" Morgan chirped from her seat, bouncing in place with bright excited eyes. "Prince Loki, can I help? Please?"

He let out an exaggerated sigh, a trace of a fond, amused smile betraying his facade. "Very well, little Stark. Come along."

Your goddaughter squealed, skipping over to Thor and placing her tiny hand in his. "Uncle Barbie, tell me who his princess is?" He leaned down to whisper the answer in her ear, making her sprint in place with even more excitement. "I promise I won't say a word."

"Barbie? Like your doll, little Lady Stark?" You could practically see the wheels turning in Loki's head from learning about the nickname.

Morgan nodded her head vigorously. "Auntie Y/N came up with it. She calls him Macho Barbie." She proceeded to talk about how you came to give the blond Asgardian the nickname that bizarrely stuck to him more than "Point Break" ever did, said god looking like he already dreaded the coming days -- maybe even years -- now that his brother knew that little tidbit of information.

Once they'd all made their way up the stairs and you could no longer hear the little girl's chipper tone, realization sat heavy in your heart from her reaction to whatever Thor whispered to her just a few seconds ago. Whoever it was that Loki was going to make this grand gesture for, it was someone that Morgan knew enough to the point that she couldn't contain her excitement finding out who the woman was.

It was someone in SHIELD. Maybe even someone in the Compound.

"You good, Babes?" Nat's tone was cautious, approaching you like you were a wounded animal, teeth bared and ready to pounce if she so much as breathed wrong.

You answered with a terse nod of your head. "There is absolutely no fucking way I'm getting through today sober."

"Y/N, dude, I'm sor--"

Bang

"What the fuck?" All eyes grew wide at the sound, your body stiffening as another shot rang out, reverberating throughout the common area. "FRIDAY? Threat assessment," you called out, already readying yourself for combat once whoever was outside made their way to you in the compound.

"No threats have been detected," the AI answered simply. "There seems to be no living target for the gunman."

You could only manage to repeat your words. "What the fuck?" Shot after shot rang out, an interval of three to five seconds between them. Each deafening bang making you flinch, your head spinning with possible explanations on why FRIDAY didn't deem the supposed attacker as a threat. "Where's the target then?"

"Shots are being fired at the training area, by the track field, Agent Y/L/N." You all started to make your way to the area, everyone still on high alert despite FRIDAY's findings.

"Y/N?!" You shared a look with everyone else in the room at the sound of Loki's voice calling out for you, the god looking frantic as he appeared at the top of the main staircase, a sigh of relief escaping him once he saw you standing at the bottom. "You're alright," he exhaled, hurriedly making his way down. The quickening pace of the gunshots had him squaring his shoulders, stepping in front of you and marching toward the sound.

"We've handled way worse than gunfire, Laufeyson, you don't have to lead the defense," you told him with a touch more bite to your tone than you intended, irrational jealousy coursing through you knowing what he was preparing for before he started charging down the stairs. You sidestepped him and started walking toward the training area, brows furrowing together when you saw that from where you stood, the marks from the bullets digging into the ground where forming some sort of shape.

"It's a message…" Wanda mused, angling her head to and fro to see if she could get the whole picture from the ground. "I'm going up, I wanna see what's worth risking Pepper's wrath with all the lawn work she has to commission now." She held her hand out to you, wordlessly offering to take you up with her, an offer that you gladly took, clapping your hand over hers, both of you giggling as your feet lifted off the ground.

Once you two had risen high enough, it was clear what the message was. The shots had been positioned so that the markings would take on the shape of a heart, and the ongoing shots were creating initials. "N…" you read along, barely able to contain your excitement when you saw that the next letter was an R. "Natasha Romanoff!" you yelled out, the assassin's eyes lighting up with a mix of giddiness and curiosity as she tried to look at where the gunshots could've been coming from.

You did your best to turn your head, trying to see who was behind the gesture, kicking your feet in the air once you saw the gunman. "What? Who is it, Y/N?"

"It's Barnes," you squeaked, giving Rogers a reckless wave when you caught sight of him jogging toward all of you with a megaphone in hand.

"Natasha Romanoff," Bucky's voice boomed through the speaker system, making the usually cool and collected former Russian spy put a hand over her mouth to hide the way she was steadily turning pink from how flustered she was. "I know I have a long way to go to make up for how we first met, but I think you're swell and I'd like to try starting it off with maybe dinner tonight?" Both you and Wanda squealed and held each other tight mid-air watching her nod her answer, running over to her once your feet touched the ground again.

"You two won't be pissed if I take a rain check for tonight, will you?" she cautioned, still a wistful tone in her voice from processing what was happening.

"Absolutely not, you go enjoy your date. More drinks to go around and all that," you told her with the biggest smile. "But tomorrow night we're all staying at my place and you're giving us a full report."

"And remember to wear the red lacy underwear," Wanda teased with a comical wiggle of her eyebrows, earning her a poke to the ribs from both of you.

Nat pulled away from the two of you, walking back toward the indoor gym with Steve walking alongside her, starting to talk about how his best friend had been trying to work up the nerve to ask her out since he got sworn in to the team nearly a year ago. From the sound of the conversation, it seemed that Rogers was divulging some information that Barnes probably swore him to secrecy not so long ago.

"And then there were seven," Shaun spoke up, walking toward  you and the sorceress and clapping a hand on each of your shoulders. "Thor came through and left the barrels in the kitchen for us."

You were about to start talking about the food arrangements when the sight of Wanda's husband flying toward you all with a bouquet of camellias and hydrangeas in his hand. "Wanda, my love, I owe you my deepest apologies."

"Whatever for, Vis?" She broke away from you and Shaun to greet the synthezoid, placing her hands on his upper arms as he pulled her in for a chaste kiss.

"It did not occur to me that you might have wanted to make plans for today until Mr Stark had gone into detail of his own itinerary today for his wife," he explained, handing her the bouquet. "Unfortunately I cannot procure a reservation for us tonight, but I still wish to do something for you. Would you allow me the honor of making you a meal and perhaps watching a movie in the private theater?"

You and Shaun gripped each other's hands like you were high schoolers watching their best friend get asked out on their first big date, shaking and pushing each other over the sweetness of the gesture. "I don't need fancy restaurants or pretty flowers, Vis. Getting to spend time with you, especially after everything that's happened to us, is more than enough. I just need you."

The Sokovian turned back to face you and Shaun, a touch of guilt in her expression. "Rain check? I'll bring extra snacks tomorrow night to make up for it?"

"Don't worry about it, Babes," you reassured her, both you and the martial artist waving off her worries. "Enjoy your evening."

The couple have you a curt nod and a smile before happily flying away hand in hand back to their apartment.

"And then there were five," you and Shaun said in unison, walking back to the common area to load up those barrels that Thor left for tonight's 'festivities'. When you got to the kitchen area, Morgan was adorably sitting atop one of the barrels in question, feet happily swinging in the air with a big smile on her face.

"Off the goods, little Stark, we're not risking you getting drunk your dad's gonna kill us," Shaun said in a panic, already lifting the little girl up and off the barrel and making her squeal and giggle as she giddily exclaimed "I'm flying!".

"If you really think that she can get drunk from osmosis, we have a lot to talk about, sweet little summer child," you joked, walking up to one barrel and starting to push it toward the garage. "Think you can use that ancient mystical ring magic for makeshift wheels so we don't bust out our lungs lugging this all the way to your truck?"

"I can assist you, darling." Your skin bristled at the sound of Loki's voice, taking every ounce of strength you had to not stiffen or recoil at his use of the word. He was only saying it out of habit. Probably a remnant of his upbringing as a prince on Asgard.

He didn't mean it the way you wanted -- more than anything -- for him to mean it.

"No need, Laufeyson, I've got it from here," Strange butted in, conjuring an energy shield with his magic that he slid under the barrels, starting to wheel them toward the garage. "Carry on. Oh and friendly advice, man to god? Your future girlfriend, you know, the one you're making this big gesture for? She might not appreciate you calling other women 'darling', so I highly recommend kicking the habit while it's still early. Avoiding future battles and all."

The god sucked his teeth, the action causing his jaw to clench and sending your thoughts someplace they had no business being. You had no business thinking about another woman's man that way, no matter how hot he was.

"I will remember that. Thank you, Strange," he said softly, making his way back up the stairs.

"Thanks for the save," you muttered, opening the door to the garage for the sorcerer to guide the barrels through. "Don't think I could've gotten away with being on Bitch Mode with him a second time today. Not like I can help it, though. Some lucky Midgardian bitch is gonna be his by the end of the night."

"Pretty sure you're the only woman I know that considers being Laufeyson's girlfriend a good thing."

"Yeah, Y/N, like I know he's on our side and everything but most days he still has me on edge. Like passing him on a bad day's gonna get me a stab in the ribs, not a death glare like normal people," Shaun concurred, nudging your shoulder to hopefully stop your lamenting before you got in too deep. Again.

"I'm really down bad, huh," you sighed, letting out a little yip when a portal to the dark dimension appeared just a few feet in front of you. "The fuck--"

"Hey Strange," a reverberating ethereal voice called out from the portal, and then a tall woman with platinum hair with beauty that you could only describe as 'dark celestial' stepped out. Her eyes trained on the sorcerer next to you. "Heard that today's something of a holiday in this dimension. Figured it might be a good idea to stop by and maybe you could show me around your uh…" She turned to you and Shaun, both your jaws slack on the ground. "What's this place called again?"

"Avengers Compound?" Shaun said at the same time that you blurted out, "New York?"

"Compound York?" She raised an eyebrow at the two of you, amusement coloring her face as she gave you both a once over.

"Eherm…no," you answered her, chuckling nervously and shifting your weight between your feet. "This structure here is Avengers Compound, which is in Upstate New York. New York is a city, but also a region…and a state…?" you drifted off, already feeling a pinch in your head from trying to explain the best you could. You looked over to Shaun. "The more I try finding the words to explain, the more I realize how complicated it actually is. Save me."

Stephen stepped forward. "How about I just take you on a tour around New York, then?" His face stretched out into a wide grin, clearly unable to hide his giddiness over the knowledge that she crossed dimensions to be with him today.

"Is that…New York the city, the region, or the state?"

"The city. New York, New York. There's a whole song about it and everything I can play it for you in the car." He proceeded to drape his arm around the dark sorceress, leading her to his car further down the expansive garage.

"Your little human friend is right, things here are complicated. Downright confusing." She looked back at you and Shaun again as they walked away, hand in hand. "It was nice meeting you both! Stephen speaks highly of you all," she called out, her majestic voice echoing throughout the area.

"You're really pretty!" you blurted out in response, causing her voice to melt into a chuckle, telling her partner how she found you 'adorable'. You threw your head back and groaned toward the ceiling. "I'm a fucking dork."

"At least you're an adorable dork," Shaun shot back, nudging your shoulder and lightly touching the back of your head to get you facing forward again. His phone chimed with a text notification. "Katy. Her shift's over, she said she'll get us a room for eight. I'm texting her now to get a smaller one." He held up his hand, palm facing you. "And then there were four?"

You sighed, clapping your hand against his, your friend giving you a reassuring squeeze once you did. "And then there were four." You jerked your head toward the apartments. "I'll just go change into something that involves 'eating pants' and I'll meet you down here in ten."

The walk back up to your apartment wasn't that long, but it still felt like it with how quickly you slipped back into your lamenting over how your friends had such an eventful day today. Nat had her very public grand gesture. Wanda had her husband trying to cook human food in the name of spending time with her. Strange had his girlfriend literally rip a hole between dimensions to get here.

"And all I have waiting for me are two barrels of mead and karaoke microphones," you muttered, walking through your front door and begrudgingly unzipping your dress from the back. You were just about to half-stomp your way to your closet when something on your bed caught your eye.

Three shiny roses lined with gold, tied together with a gold ribbon at the foot of the bed. A large heart-shaped box of chocolates at the center. And a little teddy bear dressed as a bee with red antennas that had hearts at the end, at its fluffy little feet was an embroidered message. "Bee mine".

"What theeeee fu--"

"Y/N," an all too familiar voice called out from behind you. The air left your lungs at the sight of Loki in a form-fitting forest green button-down tucked into onyx black slacks, tucking his hair behind his ears before smoothing his hands over his shirt. "You're early--"

"What're you doing--Was this you?" you babbled, gesturing at the gifts on your bed. For a second, your heart beat erratically, the thought that maybe this was for you, before reality and logic sunk in. "Okay I think I know what's happening…"

"You do?"

"Yeah, you got the wrong apartment. Gimme a minute to change and I can help you move all this over to--"

The rest of your words died in a little squeak at the back of your throat, the god closing the distance between you two with a few long strides, framing your face in his hands and placing a tender fleeting kiss to your lips.

"Those tokens of my affection are exactly where they belong, little mortal," he murmured against you, tracing up the bridge of your nose with his lips until he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "As am I."

You let out a shaky breath, fighting against the urge to melt in the god's embrace as he snaked his hands around your waist. "The gesture your brother mentioned this morning…this?" He proceeded to press kisses down the side of your face, his warm exhale as he whispered 'yes' into your skin making you light-headed. "This is for me?" you gasped out, whatever was remaining of your logical brain smacking the rest of you with how stupid a question that was.

"Who else would it be for, darling?" He pressed a kiss to your jaw, tightening his arms around you and pressing your body against his. "There is no other in this or any other Realm that could have captured my heart so completely." He kissed the corner of your jaw, making his way down the side of your neck, holding you tighter to keep you up when your knees finally buckled from the sensation. "I did this for you, because I wish to ask something of you. That you become mine as much as I am yours."

"M-Mine?" you stammered. "Y-You're mine?" Since when? How come you didn't get this particular memo? Could've saved you a lot of turmoil and nights spent alone staring up at the ceiling trying and failing to hypnotize yourself out of being into him.

He kissed the tip of your nose, resting his forehead against yours. "I have always been yours, darling."

Your hands traveled up the length of his arms, like you were grounding yourself and trying to tell yourself that this was real. He was really here and he was telling you the words you wanted more than anything to hear for who even knew how long at this point.

He's here, you thought to yourself. And he's mine.

There was only one word that you could muster up in that moment. "Yes." I've always been yours, too.

Karaoke Dreamin' on Such a Winter's Day group chat

myfirstnameisagent: Don't kill me but…rain check?

busboy10: Are you kidding me, Y/N?? You said you'd be down in 5 minutes tops and we're gonna meet up with Katy.

nromanoff: Sweet, now you're gonna have a story to tell tomorrow night, too.

myfirstnameisagent: Actually about that…rain check on tomorrow night, too? I'm kinda not there right now…

busboy10: There?? What do you mean "There"?? How'd you get out the Compound without me seeing you? Or whoever the hot date you're ditching me for is?

imjustwong: Where is everybody? We ordered nachos.

myfirstnameisagent: Yeah…I'm not in the Compound…or in New York…any of the "New York"s. Might not be for the next week. Maybe more. The three of you better not drink all the mead in one go.

busboy10: ??????

thevision: Agent Y/L/N, my wife is showing many signs of distress over her inability to contact you. Your phone seems to be going straight to voicemail.

thewanda: Y/N WHERE ARE YOU I HEARD A BANG FROM YOUR APARTMENT ARE YOU OKAY??

myfirstnameisagent: Babes, I'm fine. That was just the Bifrost.

thewanda: EXCUSE ME??

nromanoff: BABES WHAT--

pointbreakbarbie: My friends, I heard the Bifrost be summoned near Lady Y/N's abode. Is there an emergency? Must I make my way to Asgard to assist?

myfirstnameisagent: Thor your brother said if he finds you here I have permission to stab you, don't even fucking think about it.

thewanda: I REPEAT. EXCUSE ME???

busboy10: Y/N are you in Asgard?? With Loki??

myfirstnameisagent: Yes. And yes. See you in two weeks.

thewanda: He better use that healing magic on your legs so you don't walk funny.

A/N: It took me a whole month to write this because real life was trying TKO me in the work department and also I got sucked in to the worlds of Hello Kitty Island Adventure, Disney Dreamlight Valley, and Delicious World and I've been too weak to even attempt time management 🤣

I'm working on stuff tho I swear it 🫡 Horny bitches cuts are in progress, stories are in progress…lots of progress 😅😅

Also for reference, this was the lil stuffed bear that Loki gave Reader:

and the roses looked like this:

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

Hello darling 😘 I was just reading your fiction with scrabia and Ramadan and I was wondering if you could do one with leona since he's my fav

Hi!

Okay so I don't actually take requests but I saw this and was like 'you know what - it's Ramadan, I'm fasting, let's do this' (also Leona is one of my favs as well 💛) so here, enjoy:

Celebrating Ramadan With Leona

I write reader as female

Masterlist

Now when it comes to you, Leona’s already a pretty respectful person/lion and during Ramadan that gets amped up

He has already ordered the entirety of Savanaclaw to treat you with respect and to consider you as one of the higher ups in the food chain but during the fasting period he has the entire dorm at your beck and call, making sure that you don’t have to lift a finger.

Your bag is carried, your books are carried, at one point these adorable buff himbos thought it would be a good idea to just place you on a cushioned chair and carry you like that - which you were quick to shoot down

If you need anything new - shawls, abayahs, clothes, prayer mats, even a tasbih, he’s taking out his shiny black spoiled rich prince card and just throws it to you 

He definitely asks around Scarabia to see if there’s anything else you need that you haven’t told him or gotten for yourself

And no, it doesn’t matter that ‘Kalim kind of got it covered’, he’s buying it for you. Besides, it's nice to have extras to be prepared.

He’d make sure that there are plenty of shaded, cushiony areas where you can rest in his dorm (he already made a dedicated room for you when he found out that you were muslim for you to have privacy/pray/do whatever - and yes, the Savanaclaw students used their excellent construction skills to even build a wudhu area)

He writes home to his brother and sister-in-law explaining your situation just in case Cheka wants to visit and ends up running you ragged because you’re too kind to say no to him. You wake up the next morning to find a care basket from the King and Queen of Afterglow Savannah, giving you well wishes and the way Leona’s eyes don’t meet yours tells you all that you need to know.

(He also asks his sister in law if she knows any ladies that practice the same things you do so he could get a better understanding)

Whenever it’s time to break fast, the entire Savanaclaw dorm throws a feast (it's usually a barbeque) and they all eat with you like one big happy rowdy family 

No matter how much of a sleepy kitty he is, he always makes sure to wake you up on time for iftar or suhoor if you’re sleeping when the adhaan goes off

I like to think that NRC has an adhaan that plays through the school’s speakers but the individual dorms have their own set up as well

Oh imagine for your Ramadan henna you manage to incorporate a lion like Leona’s tattoo or like paw prints or something like that and proudly show it off to him and he just scoffs and mutters something about you having good taste 

Okay so you know those anger translator videos? Well, since you can’t swear or use bad language when you’re fasting, Ruggie has a whole arsenal of words to unleash on anyone giving you a hard time (typically Ace, Deuce or Grim are the ones who do this but pretend they’re not there), and then he reports back to Leona

These were all that I could think of.

[lowkeyremi]

Haikyuu men as fathers :D

Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4

FT. Hinata, Bokuto, Suna, and Kenma. (If you guys want other characters lmk, i'm just not in the mood to do a bunch rn)

SO I JUST READ LIKE THE CUTEST HAIKYUU FATHERHOOD ONE SHOT AND NOW I WANNA DO HAIKYUU CHARACTERS AS DADS, HEAD CANONS (More of the earlier stages of fatherhood, when they first experience it)

This is the first thing I've written on tumblr pls spare me...

Warnings: Indication of relationships and marriage and some angst (mentions of abortion) for a few characters (just put that there just in case) Enjoy lovelies <33

Also sorry for any typos or grammar errors. I'm too lazy to reread through it and check lol.

...

Hinata Shoyo:

He was quite surprised at the announcement of your pregnancy that he passed out

He was soooo excited none the less, being a father sounded pretty fun

He definitely started reading books to try to help him figure things out

He was a terrible diaper changer (like no fucking joke, I think he'd be scared to change another one), he'd seen you do it so many times but for some reason he could never avoid getting peed on

Would brag to everyone about how cute his little baby is, "My baby just got their first tooth, and they're learning how to crawl! They've also got the cutest little chubby cheeks."

If the baby looks like you he would literally talk about it all the time. "Beautiful, just like your mama."

He's had experience with babies because well... Natsu <3

He got the baby a matching jersey so you two could watch his games :)

Bokuto Kotaro:

After finding out you were pregnant he would tell EVERYBODY The two of you were walking together to get ramen and you guys walked into the restaurant and got seats. The waiter came to you two and asked what'd you like to drink. "Hey, guess what? My wife is pregnant! Isn't that amazing?! We're gonna have a baby!" You had to hide your face from embarrassment but the waiter just giggled, Bokuto is def a himbo, your himbo.

He enjoyed decorating the room for your baby

He would dead ass miss practice to go to your appointments for the baby

The first time he held your little bundle of joy he cried like a damn baby, he couldn't help it. It made him so happy that the two of you brought a life into the world.

He didn't let Kenma hold your child for awhile because he was scared he'd drop the baby :')

Very protective of your little one

He wanted the baby's first word to be "Volleyball" but it was "da da" which still made him very happy

Bo is very proud of the baby you two have created so I'm 100% sure he takes a bunch of himself with the baby to post on his social media

He was scared to change diapers but he soon got the hang of it

100% would get up in the middle of the night when the baby is crying, just to let you sleep. "The baby." You sigh loudly as you hear your little one cry over the baby monitor. "I'll go check on them. You get some rest." You turn your head to face him, "You sure?" He just smiled at you and kissed your temple. "100%"

Suna Rintaro: (ofwhuowghwoqrwq do i need to say anything else?)

He thought you were joking when you said you were pregnant (oops) "That's a good one." He turned his attention back to his phone. "Rin... I'm serious. Do you wanna see the ultrasound?"

A little more on the hesitant side. He didn't want to believe it, but you had the proof so like...

He was low key scared to fuck up, his father was not a very good father so he was scared to be the same way his father was.

He didn't even hold the baby for the first few months. "Rin, come on. You aren't your father. You have me to guide you through the process. Come hold our little one." He stalked up the stairs, "no."

After awhile you finally convinced him to have physical contact with the baby "The baby.. i-is smiling at me?" You giggle at him, "of course they're smiling at you. They love their daddy of course."

After he finally started being around the baby, you literally could not tear him away from that child.

Some days he'd take the baby to practice, to the grocery store, everywhere.

You had to pry the child from his arms most days. "Rin, give the baby here.." He looked at you like you just told him to give away his prized possession. "Hell no." You sighed. "Rin you have to go to work!" He shrugged his shoulders, "the baby can come with me, Komori enjoys taking pics of them during practice." Jeez.. this man truly is something.

Overall he was scared for nothing. He was a great father ;)

Somehow he convinced you to have another one... (weren't you the same one who didn't hold your baby for months?) he wanted to make up for the few firsts that he missed

Kozume Kenma: (oh Lord)

He asked "Are you sure it's mine?" (yeah... virtual slap rn)

He told you he wasn't ready and asked if you'd consider an abortion or adoption, it made you really sad but you realized Kenma wasn't ready

It really hurt him to hear you cry about giving up your child which made him wanna try for you

Did not know how to hold the baby for the life of him "Umm.. am I like- holding it right..?" You burst into laughter at the sight. "Ken, you gotta support their head." He looked down at his baby. "Oh..."

He decided that he needed to do research before he ventured further down the path of fatherhood.

Kenma was confused with diapers. "You... you want me to change its diaper?" You scoffed at him handing him a fresh diaper. "Our baby is not an 'it' Kenma!" He groaned as he took the diaper from you. "Why can't you change it?" You rolled your eyes as if it was obvious. "Because I won't always be there to do it myself, duh."

You were out with a friend one day which meant Kenma was on babysitting duty, he was tempted to call Kuro to come watch his child but he'd say something like, "Kenma, it's your responsibility as a father, blah blah blah.." So he and the baby just kind of sat there staring at each other. "What do you wanna do?" He asked the baby, knowing they can't talk. The baby proceeded to poke Kenma's cheek and yell out, "DA DA DA DA." Kenma thought it was cute and laughed softly. "Yep, that's me." The baby repeated saying 'da' for awhile until they tired themselves out. "You're a lot like me." That day it clicked, he finally understood what it was to be a father

He wasn't very affectionate but he tried to show his baby that he cared the best way he knew how

You saw the changes and it made you happy

You caught him cuddling the baby once, when you accused him of being affectionate he rolled his eyes half awake and said, "M'not being affectionate! Go awayyyy."

Doesn't want to admit to being soft for his baby :)

That's a wrap! If you want more characters lmk! I'd be happy to do a part two, this was fun for me :)

[takes1]

p.3 himbo!kirishima x petite!reader (gymbros series: rest day)

featuring aged up!kiri with growth spurt and long hair. i've actually had this in the drafts for a couple years, it's just that i didn't write an exposition and got straight to the point lmao. next part is on the way

warnings. nsfw, nearly f! oral, grinding, biting, mentions of mathematics

details. nsfw / gymbros with benefits/ aged up!kiri / fem!reader / mentions of f! masturbation / almost facesitting / mutual size kink / shy reader / support course student!reader / scars thirst / sharp teeth thirst / bakugou doesn't knock / 4.5k words

🤍 scenario series. part one / part two / kiri headcanons

more links. my ao3

The next few workouts grew increasingly more distracting and less efficient. Kirishima made it a point to talk more, get closer to you when not always necessary, and encourage you in ways he wouldn't use with other people who came to join.

You had moved to working out with varying amounts of Hero Course students that he introduced as his friends, too, all eager to meet you, in the Hero-specific gym.

This night wasn't the first time you visited his dorm room. The first was about five days prior when he invited you up to take a shower in his room.

Nothing 'happened,' but the whole experience was enough to fuel your fantasies for a few nights and make it evident that he wanted you, very badly and under any tangible excuse, in his bedroom.

It was Thursday night, and you had next to nothing else to do, so when he called, you picked up after a few rings and a deep breath.

(Y/n)!

He sounded so happy to say your name.

"Eijiro!" You smiled, not quite as excitable, but you did your best.

You busy tonight?

He laughed just off of the microphone, and you heard some other voices. He told one of them to shush, and another to go away. Your brow furrowed. It was one thing if he wanted you to come over, but another if you were hanging out with his friends.

Hello?

"Depends," You trailed, fingers fidgeting with your pajamas.

Iiiii was just wonderin' if you'd come hang for a while. No workout or anything.

His voice was a little sing-songy. It was extremely cute. While you were trying to rub the smile off of your face, he continued.

Just us.

"Yea-h," You answered, breathless.

It took a while to get ready to your liking after he let you off the phone. Thankfully, you showered earlier, so in the time it took to get dressed and out the door, he called again to ask if he needed to come get you.

You told him that wouldn't be necessary, as flattering as it was, and it took another minute to get him to hang up.

The Support Course housing wasn't too far away from his, you knew the way, and it was certainly not a dangerous walk, but when you turned the only corner of the walk, a familiar heavy-footed redhead was there to take you the remainder of the way.

"I should've walked with you the whole way!" He insisted when you told him his chivalry was appreciated, but not needed.

Surely he had safety as a primary concern. His Hero-centered brain was certain something might happen on the ten-minute walk over.

It was an animated walk to the dorms with this chatterbox next to you, but nothing compared to the chaos inside. Most students were gathered in the common area, loud and boisterous, all confirming your anxieties.

Kirishima picked up on this and kept a hand on your shoulder as you both passed, mostly unnoticed, through the busiest area near the entryway.

When the door closed, and the moment of relief was gone, you were a bit unsure of yourself. His company in public, or the gym, was one thing, but completely alone, behind a door?

You texted a friend where you were just in case.

But upon further inspection, he had prepared a silly movie and some snacks for you. His beanbag was what you were most excited about, but you kept it cool and only sat down at the soonest opportunity it could look natural. He took a seat on a small mat next to it and leaned on the bag. He was too big to share it with you but still wanted to be close.

The movie was menial compared to how much you both talked through it.

You got on the topic of perception and types, attractiveness, and the like. He had a difficult time understanding how you found him pretty and manly.

"What?" He laughed; he'd never been called that before. He liked it, but prompted you to explain.

He twisted his body to meet yours, already close on the floor right next to you.

"Well, you know-- you know," You tried to express, hand darting back to your side after leaving its resting place on his massive shoulder.

It was so much harder to compliment him when he wouldn't just take it. You sunk lower into the beanbag.

Part of him knew, you could hear it in the clip at the end of his sentences, a subtle request for you to keep making a fool of yourself.

"I don't think I do," He nabbed one of your wrists, his smile spreading when he found a similar one on your face and placed it back on his shoulder.

His eyes were eating you up, the inside of his own cheek offered as tribute in order to satiate his nerves.

"Well," You pushed a curious thumb into his ample flesh and tried to control a quick sigh, "You're... attractive."

"Attractive?" Kirishima repeated, amused and intrigued by your slow admission.

Quicker, a little panicked, you tried to rationalize it out loud, "Yeah, my friends think you are-- you're conventionally attractive, like it's not a secret or anything, everyone thinks you're hot."

An unsure hand slid, pressing here and there, over his squishy, thick bicep. You could barely fit your fingers all the way around it. There were an array of stretch marks, dark to light, all over his arms, chest, and on his tummy.

Maybe mentioning your friends was a wrong move, because now it sounded like you had gushed about him and showed pictures of him-- something you totally did do, but he didn't need to know that.

In your quick explanation, you couldn't keep quiet because you didn't want to hear his reply yet, so you just kept going, "A tall guy with huge muscles, and-- a big smile, with good hugs, who's really sweet, and considerate, and is open-minded and asks questions. I mean, who wouldn't like you?"

You had to suck in a breath, and in doing so, realized everything you said just as he did.

"Well, you make a pretty solid case," He laughed. He was blushing-- blushing, and had to look away from you.

This wasn't your first rodeo with a big guy, but it was certainly the most exciting. There was something about his soft, silly demeanor that held a chokehold on your heart.

He stood up and offered a hand to take you with him. But he pulled a tad too hard and you stumbled against him. He smiled, bashful still.

"What-uh, what else do you like?"

Your head was spinning. Maybe he wasn't so confident? Was that it? You were usually the one to break eye contact, but your clumsy, stupid words seemed to unlock the key to a shy side.

"U-hm," Eyes and fingers flitted up to his chest, then his broad shoulders, "I like... how strong you are."

Big hands squeezed around your waist, setting off a flurry of butterflies, and kept you plastered across his front, instead of your attempted distance.

"'Shouldn't tell me that," He muttered, fingers locked around each other on the curve of your spine.

You wanted to feel everything while you could-- you directed your touch to the back of his neck, and reached up as far as you could go with a face of focused concentration. Your voice was quiet, far away.

"Why not? It's true."

The grip pulling on you shifted and in seconds, he muscled you up by the ass to sit on his hips-- your thighs squeezed him but didn't need to when his grip was forcing you so hard against his cock.

He made a toothy grin at your shifting around, frantic grabbing, and looking down at the distant floor, "Gotta stay humble, man."

"Shut up," You couldn't look at his blacked-out pupils, so you opted for his mouth instead.

There were little scars all over his bottom lip, and when you started to glance around his handsome face, you realized there were many more.

You adjusted your hands around the back of his neck and, in the process of studying him, found a bigger one.

"Your eye," You took a thumb to his brow, concerned despite his small chuckle.

He closed his eyes to let you check out the shape, and you noticed he had a crooked nose. It looked like he'd broken it a few times, actually.

"That's from forever ago-- just my own shitty Quirk--,"

"Your Quirk isn't shitty." You stated, surprised a Hero Course student would bash on their own Quirk so casually.

His Quirk was, honestly, pretty cool. You wished you could do half of the things he could, and you were sure countless other students in his class felt the same way.

You rolled your hips up to lock your legs, "I like your Quirk."

He was so hot and firm, it was distracting-- you immediately needed to know if it would fit. A breathy laugh pushed past his lips and he looked down, away from you, with an identical thought.

Your lips were barely an inch apart when he looked back up, conflicted and bothered in many ways.

"I really like when you do that," He muttered, focused entirely on your glossy bottom lip.

You did a lot of things but boiled it down to either the grinding or the compliment.

"I...really like you, too--"

For some reason, his trailing off sounded like he was about to say 'but,' which didn't make any sense. You started to frown. You thought all the feelings were pretty uncomplicated, here.

"--But I wanted to take you to dinner, first."

A smile that was so big it hurt stretched across your face. That was the cutest, hottest thing you ever heard.

Your palm flattened against the side of his head and he followed your gentle lead, like a puppy on a leash, just happy to be there. Happy to please.

You considered it, only because he looked genuinely apologetic.

But he adjusted you a little on his hips, and his fingers were edging onto your bare skin, and you lost your train of thought.

"We can worry about dinner tomorrow,"  A mumbled solution was quickly swallowed by his hungry mouth-- you quickly learned that he was a messy kisser, but didn't have the energy to care.

Strawberry lipgloss smeared to oblivion, he left you breathless and pained when he pulled away to sit down and enjoy your flawless neck.

His lengthy time there, hands clawing the plush of your ass, forced you to sit still and pretty on top of his confined cock.

You pushed your forehead onto his oversized shoulder, panting already at the restraint and realization that you'd have to go out in public with huge splotches of purple and green all over your neck.

He sunk his teeth into you and closed his jaw, leaving deep, puffy lines in your skin-- you squirmed away with a shaky sound, but were only met with a forearm barring you in by the lower back.

"If you don't like it rough, you can always tell me to stop," He reminded you, playful and a little condescending.

If he was going to be filthy, you wanted to return the energy.

"Mm-mm," While he was more maneuverable, you took the opportunity to press another deep, needy kiss on his big, scarred lips, "Put those teeth to good use."

Kirishima almost shied away from your sugar-sweet tone, your sudden confidence in the face of words that he had to craft very carefully. His saving grace was your subtle confirmation.

"I knew you had a thing for my teeth," He stole a few more giggly kisses and was sure to carefully take your bottom lip.

It was technically a lie-- he didn't come up with that theory on his own. Sero had to bring it up with him after he noticed your fixation.

"I've got a thing for you," You admitted.

Your hands explored his broad back, trying to fight your squirming as he switched sides and started high on the other side of your neck. His excited chuckles buzzing against your heated skin were not making it easy.

His long hair kept getting in your face. Instead of blowing the locks away, you tracked your fingers up through the back and tugged it away, but it elicited an almost automatic motion in his hips, up into you.

You laughed at his failed grab up at your fist and, with the same mocking tone he used with you, chirped, "If you don't like it rough..."

"God, you're funny too--," Kirishima sighed and pulled your shirt over your head before you could object.

"Oh."

He must not have realized your common choice to go braless beforehand, because your blank torso left a funny, flushed look on his face.

It was hard to tell, though, and your immediate understanding of his surprise demanded an apology and crossed arms with an uncomfortable chuckle, "Sorry-- I think you've got me beat in cup size."

"No-nono, they're great, fantastic, amazing," He pulled on your arms and explained so quick you had to read his lips to understand him, "I didn't mean to- I'm just-- happy I don't have to struggle with a clip."

You had to wonder how many girls he'd been with, what his expectations were, because he clearly had some experience.

As he hoisted you up, light as a feather to him, to put you on your back, you wondered if he was good. If he'd be patient with the best and worst parts.

The mattress groaned beneath his weight as he wasted no time to shift over your pretty, raised chest. When he put a fraction of his body on you, you almost gave the same reaction.

His lips and tongue on your sensitive bud almost convinced you to not ask, but your body was screaming for him to get off.

"How much do you weigh?"

You raked your fingernails through his scalp with a labored inhale and felt him smile.

"290[131 kg], around there." He kissed the bitemark he left on your breastbone and switched sides.

Half of the time, you couldn't fathom how massive he was in comparison to you, so you didn't try. But now, with practically nothing else to do than compare, it was mindblowing.

If he wasn't careful, he might risk seriously injuring you. Rough, for his size and strength, might actually be dangerous. You cringed at how unsexy it sounded to suffer a torn muscle or a broken bone because you didn't know each other's limits.

"Still not where I want to be," His canine almost clipped you as he spoke, forcing you to flinch, "Trying to get to 300."

Your thighs squeezed around his torso, shamefully turned on by the risk. He made a grumbly, understanding groan on your breast with a dose of intense eye contact.

"You like big guys, huh?"

You huffed and pushed on his enormous shoulders, "Obviously."

Another kiss to the center of your chest gave way to lower and lower toothy, ruttish kisses. He loved the way you fueled his ego by acknowledging his size.

"Can I--," You sighed, not wanting to be picky, but concerned for your pussy with his combined leverage and clumsy habits in this position, "Can I sit on your face--?"

"Yes."

That was a lot easier than you anticipated. He quickly wrapped his arms around you, determined to not let you move without his manual aid, and fell onto his back.

He was very pretty under you.

Hair splayed out, at least before he started to tie it up, his impressive body all exposed for you to admire and touch, his eyes glued to only you.

You didn't want to part from the print in his sweatpants, perfectly content grinding on it instead, but he hooked his hands beneath your thighs and pulled you up.

As disappointed as you were to part, you knew you needed this so it'd fit easier.

It took a moment to find the tiny zipper of your skirt, but when you did, Kirishima moved your hands away and did it himself, grinning at your cute frown.

"You gotta get used to me doing things for you, baby," He dropped them off of the side of the bed.

"Baby?"  You repeated to yourself, more focused on the name and insinuation that he wanted to do this regularly than his head between your thighs.

He brought you out of your spinning head with a long, slow kiss to your thigh, longer and slower than he originally intended, because now he wanted to mark all of you up.

Another bite reminded you--

"Be careful with your teeth- please."

The chewing on your other leg paused, and he chuckled against it, "Of course."

A slow, gentle kiss through your thin, soaked undies, "I'm real careful when I wanna be."

Your posture struggled to stay up already. You took a fistful of his hair and screwed up his ponytail as his arms held you down, fingers hooked into the fabric.

The sharp, invasive noise of a door opening and a familiar, scratchy voice shot your body with a stiffness you had never felt before.

"Hey Dumbass, let's get this over with already, I wanna--,"

Two pairs of red eyes widened at the same exact time as you caught your breath to scream bloody murder.

Kirishima pushed you into the mattress with a Hero-like quickness, shushing your shrill curses and smothering your body with his comforter and own body.

It was far too late. Bakugou was standing stock-still at the open door, hand struggling to find it again in order to close it, while he stared open-mouthed and beet red at his buddy.

Despite you yelling at him to get out, fuck off, get lost, and the like, he only listened to Kirishima when he was told to, 'Wait outside the door for a sec, man.'

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," He leaned over you, breathing hard and on the verge of tears, "It's okay, you're okay--,"

"It's not!! It's not! You didn't lock the door?!"

"The dorms here don't have locks," He explained, way too calm for your liking.

You repeated, 'Don't have locks,' until you could find another thing to focus on.

"He saw me," You got worked up again, sniffling, "He--,"

"Awww, nonono," Kirishima lifted you up into a strong hug and kissed the side of your head, "I promise he doesn't care, baby. He's not that kinda guy."

It was too much, you were just with him in the gym and now he saw you, completely nude, sitting on his best friend's face. You wanted to leave immediately.

"I'm gonna talk to him, okay?"

He tried to let you go, but you stayed latched on, making him laugh. He grabbed a stray shirt from his bedframe and smelled it, then offered it as a replacement.

You first wiped the tears off of your face with it, hasty and angry, then mumbled as he stood back up, "Beat him up or something."

"I'll try," He joked and gave your leg a little rub before leaving to meet Bakugou in the hall.

His absence was sobering.

The very first thing you did was shimmy yourself into his gigantic t-shirt, with an obnoxiously long inhale through the dark grey cotton. His scent was like a shot of morphine.

Then, you sat very still, his collar over your nose, comforter still confining you like a caterpillar, to listen to the sounds of hushed voices right outside the door.

Why the hell didn't you knock--?

Don't get pissy at me! You're not supposed to have chicks in your room!

Bro, you KNEW how I felt and you KNEW she was over.

And YOU knew that Stats assignment was due at six. YOU asked ME to come over at 5.

It wasn't quite Kirishima throwing punches, but he did sound upset for you. You linked your fingers together and stared at the door.

I thought I made it pretty clear what I'd be doing for the next few hours, man.

No, No, No, and you still haven't. Looks like you beat the shit out of her! What the hell is on her neck?!

Dude, come on, you've never seen a hickey? Oh, waaait--

Don't.

There was a moment of tense quiet, and you were still holding out hope for Kirishima to kick his loud friend's ass, but it never came.

Let's just hurry this up.

The doorknob twisted then returned without opening. You pulled the shirt back down where it was supposed to go. More heated words, then Kirishima reappeared with an initial look that could kill. It was replaced with a polite, mom-pleasing smile at you.

"Hi," He waved, then glanced behind the door, "I hate to ask, but--"

"Move." Bakugou reappeared and didn't even spare a glance in your direction.

Despite Kirishima's warnings, went straight to the desk and sat a bag down, his permanent grumpy face no indicator of what he was thinking or what he felt.

Instead of joining him, Kirishima sat on the mattress next to you, found your skirt in the process, and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"Like I said, he doesn't care," He rolled his eyes back to Bakugou, then sighed at how adorable you looked in his bed and the blunt pain in his pants.

His hand rested on the side of your face, the pad of his thumb dusting over your puffy bottom lip. He leaned in to kiss you.

"Oh my god, let's go," Bakugou clicked on the online assignment.

"Would you chill the fuck out?" Kirishima spat, his face dropped to one of bitter annoyance.

Red flag or not, you couldn't tell through your rose-colored glasses. You liked how upset he got over not spending alone time with you right now.

Even Bakugou, who knew him a lot better, a lot longer, than you, looked surprised to hear that tone leave his mouth.

Ever trifling, he shook it off and reminded him as he walked over, "Coulda done this shit two weeks ago."

As they shared more passive-aggressive words, you realized all you could do was sit there and stare at a wall. Your phone was on the desk next to Bakugou's hip, so there was no quality distraction for you.

You started counting the stripes on your skirt, then pleats, then stitches.

That got boring, so you started trying to look at what was on the shirt he gave you. Some old red guy.

He had the same old Hero on a few posters in his room. Crimson Riot-- you realized he must've modeled his whole Hero theme from him. The name and vibe were pretty similar.

He had a lot of pillows. Your understanding was that guys usually had two, or just one. But he had seven on his bed. Maybe he had sleeping problems? Or maybe he just liked pillows. Hopefully not like that.

You wondered why he kept someone like Bakugou around as a best friend. You were still pissed off at him, so it was hard not to stare, but you could get away with steeping in your frustration a while longer.

Not only was their Class better-known throughout the school for being really stupid and really great, but Bakugou was the acme of stupid and great, so every rumor and preconception you had was confirmed, so far, with his behavior. Just as much of an asshole as everyone says.

But it must've meant something that Kirishima liked him. Either Kirishima was meaner than he was letting on, or Bakugou was nicer. You hoped it was the latter.

They were stuck on a problem, and while Kirishima didn't seem to care so much, Bakugou was losing it over his own answer being wrong.

Apparently, their assignments had slightly different questions. Modeled the same, but with different values. And Bakugou couldn't figure this one out.

You got tired of hearing him repeat himself, how he had to be right, how the person who made this version of the assignment put something in wrong.

Although you had different teachers for Statistics, the material couldn't have been entirely dissimilar. You stood and realized you didn't even need the skirt-- his shirt was like a sundress.

"I didn't think Hero Course students took normal subjects," You tiptoed over to the desk, on the opposite side as Bakugou, and kept your eyes fixated on the problem on the screen.

Maybe if Kirishima wasn't distracting you, you weren't distracting him.

You mumbled under your breath, "Events which occur randomly... rate r counted over... period of length s so... event count X is Poisson...Find P of X is 2, X is... okay, ummmm," You tucked your lip between your teeth and stole the paper from Bakugou's side to record all of the given elements of the question.

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as you started explaining in much clearer detail what they all stood for, why it seemed like a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, and answered his sometimes mind-bogglingly stupid questions with enviable patience.

It was starting to become obvious that Kirishima was not perfect. He even struggled with basic math.

One could argue that based on the number of times you caught him looking at the hem of his shirt on your thigh, it was safe to assume that maybe he had something else on his mind, too.

"Sooo, that would mean...?"

Kirishima leaned forward, two strong forearms on either side of you, to type his answer into the box.

Your tummy was doing flips as he rolled his chair closer, face pressed into your waist.

A little green checkmark appeared. He pulled you in by the opposite hip and kissed your side while Bakugou snatched up the work you helped Kirishima do.

"You're such a good teacher," Was mumbled low and smiley into the softness of your waist-- you cringed away, but once again, he held you still.

Bakugou didn't acknowledge it. But he didn't shoo you away or make any comments when Kirishima tugged you into his lap.

First, you shoved his shirt down so there wasn't a repeat of last time, and then, you tried to keep your pitiful protests to yourself once he started bouncing his leg up and down.

He pressed you to the edge of the desk so he could still write and type while Bakugou basically just told him what to do.

After that question, there weren't any more mistakes that needed fixing.

Which was fortunate considering that you would be incapable of forming a cohesive sentence. The constant force of his thigh was absolute heaven against your neglected pussy.

You kept face until Bakugou began to gather his things to leave. When he turned to place a textbook in his bag, Kirishima snaked an arm around your waist and started to add to the marks he left on your neck earlier.

Your thighs squeezed and you clawed at his knee and his wrist. He bit your ear in return and shoved his face into your hair.

The blond slung his bag over his shoulder.

Kirishima briefly came back to the real world with a quick dap-up and, "Take care, dude. See ya tomorrow."

"Yeah," Bakugou glanced at you, then back at his buddy, "Be safe."

taglist:

@dough-yo-bu @yellowflowerbub @fairywriter-oracle @kirismoon

@kwiwin @cringingmemeries @leo6472 @nijha2tact

[mynameismckenziemae]

In Case You Didn’t Know

Part 11

(previous part here, next part here)

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OFC

Summary: Stress and whiskey loosens Jake’s lips.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, mutual masturbation, toy use, discussion of kinks, a little cliffy at the end there.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“Okay, okay Jake,” you scold, laughing breathlessly as he ruts against you in the kitchen as you’re trying to make mimosas. “Your mom and Emma are gonna be here any minute. Do you really want them to see you with a boner?”

He sighs before nipping your ear and stepping back. “Yeah, you’re right. I just can’t get enough of you. And knowing you’re gonna be my wife in 2 short weeks is making me crazy.”

“I know, I can’t wait either,” you smile over your shoulder at him. Oh, did Bradley book his flight yet?”

“Yeah, he’ll be here the Tuesday before to help out and make sure his suit fits. The rest of the squad won’t be here until Thursday afternoon. We just gotta figure out a way to keep him and Emma separated,” he jokes.

“You know, they would make a cute couple,” you muse.

He hums in agreement. “They would. I just don’t want to see him get hurt. He plays the carefree himbo well, but he’s got a big heart. He’d worship the ground she walks on if she’d let him in,” he sighs, wrapping his arms around you again and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Y’all fucking or are-ow, Ma!” Emma calls from the front door.

“We’re in the kitchen, fully clothed!” You laugh.

“That’s a first,” Emma mutters, rubbing her arm where Ruth pinched her.

“Learn to knock and you won’t see anything you don’t want to,” Jake replies hugging her before turning and doing the same with Ruth.

“How’s the new job?” Emma asks as she hops on the counter.

“Pretty good. A bit stressful learning the ropes myself and constantly having to tell the new recruits what to do, when to do it, and dolling out push-ups when they mess up. I feel like I’m babysitting most of the time. It’ll get better though once I get used to things,” Jake replies.

“It will. Give yourself a break, baby,” Ruth pinches his cheek. “Your daddy’s outside with Cash. I swear he loves that dog more than any of us,” Ruth sighs.

“Can’t blame him, he’s a good dog. Mimosas?” You offer.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Jake jokes, reaching for a flute, but you push it out of reach and give his denim-clad butt a swat.

“No sir, don’t you dare. They’re for us girls, now get outta here so I can try on the dresses.”

“Yes ma’am. I like it when you’re bossy,” he winks, rubbing the spot you popped him before he pecks your cheek and heads out the door.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“Wow, how many did you buy?” Emma asks wide-eyed as she looks at the dresses in your arms.

“12,” you laugh. “The website has free return shipping. I wasn’t sure what style looks best on me, I haven’t worn a gown since prom.”

“You can pull off anything,” Emma smiles. “But it’s good to have options.”

Ruth dabs her tears with each dress you try, but her tissue can’t keep up when you come out of your room with the 10th one. It’s fitted, with a low back with loose lace sleeves and it fits like a glove.

“Oh Charlie, you’re glowing,” she whispers.

“Yup,” you smile. “This is the one.”

“I agree,” Emma murmurs, coming up behind you to get the button you couldn’t reach. “Jake won’t be able to keep his eyes or his hands off you.”

You grin and look at Ruth. “Think mom would like it?”

Just as you say it a breeze floats through the living room window and you swear you smell her sweet perfume.

Emma and Ruth look at each other and then at you with wide eyes; they smell it too.

“There’s your answer, hun,” Ruth says with a watery smile.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“Charlie-darlin’, where you at?” Jake calls as he comes in the front door hours later. “Casher, where’s your mama? Find mama, buddy.”

That Texas drawl coming out tells you he’s been drinking and you burst into giggles as Cash comes running, smothering you with kisses.

“Working out, I’ll be done in a few. There’s a plate in the fridge if you’re hungry,” you reply once Cash lets up, running back to the kitchen to find Jake at the word ‘fridge’.

“Hell yeah, meatloaf!” Jake says excitedly as he opens the fridge. He joins you after heating it up. “Find a dress?”

“Mhmm, you’re gonna love it. What did you and your dad do?”

“I bet I will. I bet I’ll like takin’ it off even more,” he smiles, eyes raking over your body in your sports bra and shorts. “Shot darts and played pool. You know, guy stuff.”

“Seems like alcohol might’ve been involved?” You ask with a knowing smile as you begin to stretch.

He pinches his fingers together. “Maybe a little whiskey. God, this is good. You’re a good cook, Char. Hey, you know what I said earlier?”

He’s so dang cute when he’s like this.

You smile up at him from your place on the floor before you shake your head. “Remind me?”

“When I said I like it when you’re bossy. I meant that” he says with a blush, leaving to put his plate in the dishwasher to return a moment later. He leans on the doorframe as he continues. “Like…if you want to take the lead sometimes, I’d be up for that.”

You rise to your feet and saunter over. “Mmm, I’d definitely be up for that,” you hum, pulling him in for a kiss by his belt loop. “Take a shower with me and we’ll talk more?”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“Not that I’m complaining,” you smile as you rinse your hair, “but what brought this on? Or is this something you’ve always wanted to try?”

“That little bit of bossiness this morning got me thinkin’ bout how sexy it’d be in the bedroom. Work’s been stressing me out and thought maybe it’d be nice if someone was giving me the orders,” he says with a blush.

“So you want me to tell you what to do? Maybe tie you to our bed and have my way with you?”

“Yes, all of that,” he sighs as you wrap your hand around his erection as the warm water runs between the two of you.

“What else?” you ask before leaning in and taking his nipple into your mouth, teasing it with your tongue and teeth. He groans, stumbling back a step until his back hits the wall. You nip at the bud when he doesn’t answer. “What else, Jake?”

“Anything you want,” he pants as you continue stroking him. “Use me to get yourself off, play with my ass some more…what’s it called when you get someone really close and then you back off? Edging? I think that’s what it’s called. I like it when you pull my hair. Just…anything. Anything you want.”

You smile as the tips of his ears turn red and a flush rises up his neck at his admission. “What were you and Tom drinking? Whiskey?”

“Yes ma’am, how’d you know?” He smiles before kissing you.

“All your secrets come out when you drink whiskey. I want to do all of that and more. What about if you don’t follow my rules? Do you want me to punish you?”

He flushes even further but nods, eyes drifting closed at the pleasure from your hand.

“You never have to be embarrassed or ashamed with me Jake. No one has to know what you and I get up to,” you murmur, leaning in to kiss up his throat as you increase the speed of your strokes.

His abs begin to tense and his breathing shortens, signaling he’s about to cum, you pull your hand away.

Your neglected pussy clenches at the whimper that leaves him.

“Wha-why’d you stop?” He pants a moment later, opening his eyes to look at you in confusion.

“I’m not ready for you to cum yet,” you reply with a cheeky grin, turning off the water behind you.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

You bite your lip to keep from laughing as you dig out your box of toys from under the bed that Jake’s currently lying on, practically vibrating with need.

Finding the items you want, you crawl onto the bed, putting a dollop of lube in your hand before coating Jake’s still-hard cock while you lean forward to kiss him.

He gasps when you bite his lip at the same time you place the stroker on him.

“You can take over from here, but don’t cum,” you murmur against his lips before you lean back against the pillow you placed on the footboard.

“Whatcha got there?” He asks huskily from his mirrored position against the headboard.

“This is a rabbit vibrator. It was my favorite toy until we got together,” you reply, holding it up for him to see. “This part goes in my pussy,” you sigh as you push it in with a lewd squelch, “and this goes against my clit. Then I turn it on.” Your back arches off the pillow with a keen as you demonstrate.

“Holy fuck,” Jake gasps, gripping the base of his cock as he watches you pleasure yourself.

“I didn’t say you could stop,” you instruct breathlessly as find the vibration pattern you like best.

He grimaces and takes a shaky breath as he continues his stroking.

“I don’t know how many times I got myself off just like this thinking about you, watching porn imaging it was us, reading my books wishing we were doing all those dirty things together,” you sigh as you already feel the first tells that an orgasm is approaching.

“Oh God, that’s so hot,” Jake moans, eyes closing as he imagines it.

“Eyes on me, Jake. I want you to watch,” you sigh as your toes begin to curl.

“I-I can’t. I’ll cum, Char,” he grits out, refusing to open his eyes and look at you.

“No, don’t you dare cum yet,” you warn breathlessly. “Now open your eyes and watch me.”

He whines but forces his eyes open just as you hit your peak with a cry, so consumed by your pleasure that you don’t hear Jake’s reluctant groan.

You slump back against the pillows with a sigh as you pull the vibrator out, not at all satisfied yet.

“I tried Char, but I couldn’t stop it. You’re just too fucking gorgeous when you cum,” Jake sighs guiltily.

You open your heavy lids and a new rush of arousal goes straight between your legs at the sight of a wrecked-looking Jake; his damp hair sticking up where he ran his fingers through in desperation, an embarrassed flush staining his cheeks, and the stroker on his still-hard cock, full of his creamy spend.

“Jake, Jake, Jake. What am I going to do with you?” You repeat his words from when the roles were reversed a few weeks ago.

“You’re not gonna spank me, are you?” He remembers, repeating your words huskily, but with a quirk of his lips. He doesn’t think you will.

He jolts, gasping when you reach over to grip his oversensitive cock, giving him a few pulls.

“Turn over and find out.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

A/N: A little cliffy there! Sorry if you’re not into spanking or when the woman takes the lead. Apparently a bunch of you do like it though according to the survey I posted from a few days ago. 🤷🏻‍♀️😏

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in comments/reblogs.

Tagging:

@mamachasesmayhem

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd5

@charmedkim

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

@hookslove1592

@amiets2

@nero4te

@eli2447

@atarmychick007

@vixenobrian

@86laura11

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@dempy

@angelbabyyy99

@buckysteveloki-me

@djs8891

@mizzzpink

@daggerspare-standingby

@mrsevans90

[octuscle]

I want to turn into a dumb ski teenager. Kinda a twunk/himbo. I love hot helmets ski masks etc, I’d make sure my boots smell fetid. Thanks!

The platform in Munich was overcrowded when the train to Innsbruck arrived. Like Peter, at least some people were wearing a suit and carrying a laptop bag. Most were struggling with skis, snowboards and huge sports bags. Peter heard Dutch, Polish and Swedish, he had the feeling that half of Europe was on its way to a skiing vacation. He, on the other hand, had to go to Innsbruck to help clear away the rubble of a spectacular real estate bankruptcy. He was one of the top insolvency administrators in Europe. And he wanted to show that he himself could bring this case to a satisfactory conclusion for everyone.

As expected, everyone was jostling at the second-class entrances. The two first-class carriages were almost empty. It was quiet, Peter would be able to work in peace. He opened his notebook and settled down at the table in his compartment. But after a few minutes, the peace and quiet was over. He heard loud voices coming closer and closer. A young man with blond hair pulled open the door to his compartment, took a quick look around and then shouted "Hörni, det är nästan en hel tågkupé tom!" into the corridor. Without asking, he heaved his sports bag into the luggage net. And after a few moments, four young men followed and took possession of the compartment together with their leader. After a few seconds, the aisle was blocked with skis and snowboards, the luggage net was full of bags and suitcases, loud music was blaring from a boombox and the first bottles of beer and vodka were on the table next to Peter's laptop. It smelled of alcohol, sweat and testosterone. Peter was furious. "You do know that this is the first class rest area?" he asked the group. The leader of the group laughed and said that the train was so overcrowded, there would certainly be no conductor to check it. Peter closed his notebook, exasperated. Concentrated work would certainly not be possible. He put on his noise-canceling headphones and hoped to get at least a little sleep.

He probably hadn't closed his eyes for five minutes when he woke up. His crotch was soaking wet. A beer bottle had fallen over and the contents had spilled onto his lap. The Swedes were roaring. One of them said "Sorry" and held out a bottle of vodka to Peter. I don't know what kind of devil he was riding, but he took a swig. And a second. And helped himself to the dried moose meat. After the train had left Kufstein station, all six of them were roaring Swedish drinking songs. And Peter wiped a long blond strand of hair from his forehead.

As the train pulled into Innsbruck, the five jocks gathered their things together. Peter was already really drunk and it was difficult for him to stow his boombox and his still-empty bottles into his rucksack in time. At the last second, he managed to fall onto the platform with his snowboard and sports bag. His friends roared.

The train to St. Anton was even fuller. There was no chance of getting a seat. Peter and his friends crowded into the aisle and the party was immediately back in full swing. They quickly made friends with the members of a Norwegian student fraternity who were going to the same sports hostel as them. It was dusk when the train arrived in St. Anton. Leif had to vomit directly into the snow. Fortunately, the icy cold air had sobered Peter up a bit. But he had to piss and tried to pee "Sverige" in the snow. He failed. The pre-ordered bus was waiting for them and took them to their hostel

Yes, Pelle was damn good at partying. He was like all Swedes who made the Alps unsafe. But he was also a damn good sportsman. "Väl framme, mamma. Nu ska jag iväg till pisten för första gången. Hälsningar till pappa!", he wrote. The lifts opened at 09:00. No matter how hard he had partied yesterday, he wanted to be the first to leave his tracks in the freshly fallen snow.

[hana-no-seiiki]

some random idea i got in my head idk if youve done this or not but

yan!oc (any of them) x yan!reader who already has a darling

maybe yan would kill readers darling? but how would yan!reader react to that?

just wanted to share

YAN OCS x YAN! READER HEADCANNONS (isayasifimnotthecreatorofthesecharacters)

Note that I won’t include much reactions moreso ways reader can respond or work around the OCs. Otherwise it’s up to your imagination how you would feel/react to these scenarios.

Been a while since I wrote for my children. I really miss Eve and Amir ngl oTL

Since it’s been such a long time I’ll semi-write this as if I’m talking about them for the first time.

Midnight Darling (College Based OCs)

I feel like many of my yan! ocs especially the college based ones (midnight darling tag if you’re interested in them) just wouldn’t care. They’re already in a harem you’ve created and don’t expect you to be monogamous. They’re more yandere in the sense that they love to invade your privacy/think they know what’s best for you/have no concept of boundaries whatsoever. Like loyal rabid fans.

Specifically speaking for Midnight Darling, you’d have to show extreme favoritism and be super obvious about your feelings for your darling to be suspected and to be targeted.

I think Reader of that universe would be smart enough to use the Yandere Harem to their advantage instead of exposing themself.

Your darling might take advantage of that though. Tell you that you don’t really love them if you keep sleeping around so often.

But in reality you do that just to appease those animals for the sake of your darling’s safety.

Oh and the faculty just shit on your darling’s grades. Your darling prolly gets bullied on the daily too.

In the case of Guest is God (Host Club Based OCs)

Another contender for,

Monogamy is a social construct we don’t give a fuck

Especially since many of these people are a bit more mature and smart than the college ocs.

In this scenario though, they’ll be the ones using your feelings as an advantage.

You want to be alone with your darling? You have to make sure your guest is completely satisfied by the end of the night. You want to take a break so your darling can give you some comfort head? You have to hit the quota for this month then, you slacker!

One thing they’ll have over your head though is that your darling can very much be forced into Host work like you were. So you have to work really hard in order to prevent that. Right?

Next up we have Love Multiplied: Invasion of Your Heart! (Idol Industry Based OCs

Eve (Yan! Idol) would be just-

He would honestly fucken steal your darling.

Of course he would play around them and treat them like shit. But that would be your fault after all!

He only wanted to be yours, but you went ahead and cheated on him with this nobody!! And that nobody doesn’t even love you like he does.

He’s a charming piece of shit when he wants to be. He’s an idol after all. It didn’t take too long.

You have two options here:

You can appease him. Say that he’s your main hoe and that your darling is just a past-time. Jisoo(his real name, Eve is his stagename) would never fucken believe that ofc that perceptive mf but it’ll sooth him enough to have him let go of your darling for a while.

Orrrrr you could just fight him. Yandere on Yandere. Wholeass murder his ass.

You could even do both.

My other LM:IOYH ocs aren’t fully fleshed yet so I’ll just generalize the rest.

The idols would most likely do some gaslight, girlkeep, girlboss tactics to your darling and either do a Jisoo and steal the damn person or make your darling hate you.

The managers/higher ups would most likely organize something to have darling killed.

And the friends outside of the industry type characters would most likely just straight up resort to murder. Direct and to the point. If not sour your opinion on darling.

Next are misc ocs!

Our ever popular Himbo! Yan would probably support you. As long as you manipulate him well enough. That is until he figures out that he likes you in a non platonic manner. Then shit hits the fan.

Amir (Tsun! Yan) would probably lose his feelings for you. Or at least desperately try to. He doesn’t match well with someone who likes someone else. Much less is yandere for someone else. One of if not the only yan who has the mind to let go. Out of fear or betrayal? Who knows.

Tries to avoid you but then literally everything reminds him of you so he’s just dying inside.

Smol chance but he could attempt to be your darling/replace your darling. He at least has the fashion/style know how down. He can try his darn hardest to act like them too.

Mori (Yan! Delinquent) would prolly have a voyeuristic view on it. He would imagine himself as your darling. His head would be in full delulu. Might even help you just so he could watch potentially fuck your darling and finger himself to it (he’s trans)

For @yoru-no-seiiki readers, Cassiel (Yan! Protagonist) doesn’t even see darling as competition. Like unless you’re the yandere to actively harm your darling, they wouldn’t give a crap about them. If you are however, they’d most likely keep you two apart. They can be sadistic if need be, and sees the idea of you not even knowing if your darling is alive or not as exciting. If anything it’d be good fuel for you to keep harming them.

But yeah my yans aren’t really murder hobos since I prefer writing the DISRESPECT part of yanderes rather than the violence. But yeah!! here are their ways of dealing with yan! reader.

[iexistinmanyforms-blog]

My Personal Headcanons for the Demon Brothers (Obey Me) :

—although it is mostly unintentional, Levi is actually the brother that causes the most chaos in the house. You can't be the Avatar of Envy, an otaku, and chronically online at the same time without having massive freak-outs over your hyperfixations on/and the internet.

—despite pretending to be cute and innocent most of the time, Belphie has the dirtiest mind of all the brothers. He can get very creative and sneaky with his innuendos to the point where even Asmo needs a minute to properly digest them before realising.

—Beel plays dumb a lot because he finds people's reaction to his "fake" himboness funny. Belphie knows and encourages it, since he also finds it funny. Though, ever since MC shows up and starts simping over him being a himbo, Belphie has mixed feelings about it now; he still thinks it's funny, but he gets kinda jealous.

—Asmo fakes having a high-pitched voice. His reasoning being that other people's reactions to hearing his real voice in bed gives him the best pleasure.

—Luci is a closet dork and has the silliest sense of humor, and if he could he would prank his brothers a lot more than they do to him.

—Levi's offhand and careless reactions to things are unintentionally witty. Think popular internet quotes and interactions and apply that to him.

—Belphie critically injured his left eye in the Celestial War and covers it because of PTSD, insecurity, and magical reasons. His left eye has similar abilities to Asmo's gaze, although he doesn't have proper control over it.

—Mammon handles the House of Lamentation's budget most of the time. He decided to be in charge of it on whim one day, but got so upset over the tax cuts and discounts and whatever Luci was missing out on that he refused to hand the responsibility back to him out of sheer indignation.

—despite what most people believe, Asmo doesn't actually have a thousand skincare products and makeup and usually just sticks to the things that work best for him. What is true, however, is that he buys a shit ton of perfumes and clothes. Because having a variety of them can make a bigger difference than having an overly complex skincare routine.

—despite being quite a while since Devildom's Navy has seen some action, Levi takes his training regime and duties as the Grand Admiral very seriously. Beel and him became each other's gym bros when their schedules match up.

—Levi and Belphie's hair are supposed to be similar to Asmo's in terms of waviness, but both of them decided to distance themselves from the time they were angels because of shame.

—the brothers' hair were a lot longer back when they were still angels.

—Levi is aware of the hentai protagonist haircut and how close he resembles it. So is Belphie, if you get my drift...

—Satan's immense love for cats was actually a process. He didn't start off loving them from the get-go. It was only when he learned about their behaviors and history did he become interested in them, and then after a couple hundred years or so that interest became a genuine fondness.

—Asmo has the most control over his sin, meaning he can control both its positive and negative effects to a scarily good degree. The second would be either Satan or Levi.

—despite Satan being the actual youngest in the family, the rest of the brothers collectively agreed that Beel and Belphie are the babies. Mostly Belphie.

—Belphie's hatred for humans was a... slow process. The love he had for them didn't suddenly switch into hatred at the drop of a hat. Or, well, in this case, at the fall of an angel lol. I like to think that him becoming a demon showed him the worst sides of humanity prior to him being an angel seeing the best sides of them.

—Belphie has a special hatred for sexual violence because of his canon lore. Not his game lore, but his actual biblical lore. He was some sort of seducer himself back in the day, and he turned himself into a woman to have intercourse with men... you can probably guess what happens next there.

—Satan is very aware of his desire to love and be loved in a romantic sense. Asmo does not. When Satan asked him about it (because he can definitely tell), Asmo had laughed and denied that he needed that kind of love since he's the Avatar of Lust. Which was... painful to see, on Satan's part.

—do you guys know Stanzi from Tiktok? The demon brothers are definitely fans of her, especially Belphie. No, I'm not gonna elaborate.

[barabaitcharactergenerator]

scotty-scott of howl fame

ah yes, my icon. my muse. my silly rabbit.

favorite thing about them - his tits on a meta level, i think what i appreciate most about scott is that it feels as though he was bio-engineered in a lab to be specifically catered to me. hairy, bearded, muscular, jockish, funny, kind, endlessly optimistic, stupid as hell, AND has canonically committed multiple atrocities as a big, sexy werewolf? be still, my beating heart. i feel like the monster prom creators stalked my social media circa 2017-2018 and collectively agreed that they were gonna make a dating sim ro that would make this one specific gayboy so, SO happy.

least favorite thing about them - also on a meta level. look. im not a nasty little hater (except when i am), but i have to admit that the writers are CONSTANTLY shoving him to the side in favor of the rest of the cast. even in his own game, Monster Roadtrip, a majority of the events tend to lean on polly being the center-focus with scott acting as her sidekick. this was esp apparent in the End of the Road ending where Polly was basically the main character while Scott was also There (sort of). ill admit i partially understand this since polly is generally a more active character while scott is more reactive, but still, id love to see my boy get his kudos

favorite line - there's so many good ones but im just gonna with one based on a recent screenshot i took: "I really like macaroni, but I'm not allowed to boil water by myself, so I just eat the noodles raw."

brOTP - DA PRANK MASTERZ BABEY!!! Scott is my fav MP character and Polly is my second fav, so you it's only natural that I'd be obsessed with their dynamic. canonically bimbo and himbo besties.

OTP - Scott howl x ME!! i like him and brian a lot, i think they're cute. im a sucker for jock x jock and golden retriever x constantly tired so the two of them manage to hit a sweet spot for me.

nOTP - the game keeps trying to push scott x vicky or scott x amira and like, im sorry, but trying to get me to ship Bara Icon Scott Howl with women? im calling homophobia. besides im more of a vicky x vera and amira x damien guy so on all fronts those ships just dont really appeal to me

random headcanon - for reasons i cant disclose this has been canonically refuted but i always pictured scott's grandma as one of those very classic horror movie werewolves- all fangs, all carnage, very little sexy (unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case, hey. you do you). she used to be the alpha of the pack back in her day and was an absolute menace to monster society, until she got a little older and settled down. still, she secretly craves the old days when monsters could be monsters, and keeps trying to convince scott to embrace his more animalistic side, even though he keeps telling her that murder isnt actually really mean and you probably shouldn't do it.

unpopular opinion - the monster prom fandom doesnt really have that much discourse so i dont know whats an unpopular opinion vs what isnt. uuuh i think scott should have won that popularity poll back when monster prom was still getting updates and gotten the new secret ending instead of damien's "punch the sun" ending

song i associate with them - this was on a scott howl playlist and i like it so uh. through and through by khai dreams

favorite picture of them - obv my pfp pic is one of my favs but here are a collection of Certified Scott Images

and some fav outfits:

[multifunctionalnitroglycerin]

I haven't yet watched the second season of Blood of Zeus, and honestly, I am a bit scared to do so.

Not because I expect it to be any accurate retelling or anything, far from it. It was fun exploring a different course and not sticking to the mythos and not pretending to stick to the mythos.

I am not watching it for the plot and all its at times glaring insufficiencies, but for the art style and character designs, which are in many cases superb ( yes, I want a curvaceous Aphrodite that is vengeful and can sure as heck yield a sword, yes I want an Ares that isn't half naked and wears armor and a helmet ( no talks abt accuracy here I am not out to get them) a Demeter that looks like everyone's aunt that will force you to eat some more, has a green thumb and a heck of a temper, and frankly one of my favorite Athena designs in modern animated media )

What I do worry about, however, is the plot. Which yeah is all fun and games as far as myths themselves go, but even from the trailer I see Heron suffering main character and plot armor syndrome and I am a bit less than enthused.

S1 was bad enough with Zeus playing favorites among his bastard children, and being like, you are not a mortal you are my son.

Ehhmm sir, what are Apollo and Hermes and Ares then?

And they are present in the scene. So either Zeus is supposed to be an even more huge prick, clearly favoring his mortal offpsirng from the immortal ones. Who have backed him up. In several occasions in the show. Or well, plot.

And then we have the trailer with Heron fist fighting Ares I think, and getting 4 solid hits in. Which okay fun if you like Heron, but my dudes. You won't win a fist fight against the God of War. But he is the son of Zeus! And so is half the Pantheon.

And I am afraid we are going to overlook many 'logical' things, and nerf a lot of gods to make Heron seem as idk the rightful heir to the throne of Olympus or idk and yeah... it ll take a lot from the show.

Because wether we like it or not, Heron is a demigod. Not a God. And he has lived only a handful of years in comparison to the rest. I have trouble thinking that any of the gods would back down from taking the lead and giving it to Heron. Who will? Athena? Ares? Poseidon? Hera?

Especially in a time of unrest. Where supposedly Hades is behind the coup and wants to take over Olympus. Well, buddy, I wouldn't want to be stuck down there and constantly being a footnote, either. I can understand why he snapped within the premises for the show.

And it introduces an interesting theme. Civil War among the gods. Not the first time it has happened, but it has the potential to be interesting. I want to see them struggle, and fight while trying to organize a sort of defense against Hades and Persephone. I want Athena and Ares to fight over how to station their forces and who should lead them. I want to see the power struggle between the Queen of Olympus, the King's brother, and his first son. The power vacuum is delicious.

And I definitely want to see more of Apollo and Artemis and Hermes. Who I feel will more readily accept Heron among their ranks. On principle of their personalities in tandem with their status.

Anyway, bottom line I don't want to see an overpowered Heron for example and an Artemis that misses 3 shots out of 5, and Ares that can barely hold his own, a Hermes thats like a Flash lookalike, a himbo Apollo with little functionality and a goddess of battle strategy that cannot do battle strategy, all for the purpose of making the main character look better.

I might be going off a mile here, but I have learned to expect the worst usually, so forgive me. I d very much prefer to be pleasantly surprised, so fingers crossed for that.

[emoprincey]

Found this in the drafts of my roleslaying sideblog and I have no memory of writing it but I think I was onto something

[Image description: A tumblr draft by noiseybard which reads:

Just had a sudden realisation of great truth. I've seen a lot of people say that sasi!Roman isn't a himbo because himbos have to be kind, beefy, and dumb. Maybe sasi!Roman isn't the brightest and he could be pretty strong, but he hasn't always been kind, especially to Virgil.

However. I think roleslaying!Roman hits all the marks:

[Tick emoji] Strong - wields a sword

[Tick emoji] Stupid - I mean, no offence but

[Tick emoji] Kind - yeah, he actually is

So, roleslaying!Roman is the only version of Roman who is actually a himbo. I rest my case

/ End image description.]

[highlordofkrypton]

ACOTAR headcanons // (au) cassian

I feel like I need to put a disclaimer before my favs on here block me for being a cassian!girlie, BUT I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS I SWEAR 😂😂😂 PLS LOVE ME ANYWAY I HAVE THE BRAINWORMS RN BEAR WITH ME

That said, I don't think I have much Cassian content to post aside from this (until Cassian week).

Anyway, this is in regards to my au!cassian, also known as Wildflowers!Cassian (my canon-divergent prequel fic), also ALSO known as Mathian (mathi!cassian -- shout out to @wingsdippedingold for the name I love it, I'm adopting it his full name is Cassian Mathian the first of his name, general of the night court, etc etc.).

The Tamlin x Cassian besties brainworms have taken a hold of me so, I've stopped fighting it.

ABOUT MATHI'S CASSIAN

uses 'bro' way too much.

imagines the mating bond to be something akin (but not as good) as having the perfect gym bro who spots you and supports you when you're trying to hit a PR

mental health adage: pain without gains is a no-no. it means that you should not be suffering pointlessly, and will encourage you to address ur problems so you can have MENTAL GAINS too.

values truth and justice, would fight his own people for doing the wrong thing; case in point, he was horrified at Rhys' misuse of his daemati abilities.

would never sleep with Mor because he knew Azriel liked her -- that's wrong bro. he would try to find a different way out, maybe 1v1 eris in a fallmart parking lot if it came down to it. i also feel like he's the type of character to make sure that someone's first time is really, really special. he would pull out all the stops to make his partner feel comfortable.

his favourite greeting @ tamlin is a headbutt or tackle. there is no reality where they don't end up wrestling, it's very embarassing to rhys and lucien as the local 'himbo' handlers.

i believe the proper characterization for cassian to be the himbo trifecta: kind, handsome and a lil bit dumb.

10/10 would save kittens from trees, also 10/10 would mistake a tasmanian devil for a cat that needs to be saved and gets scratched the hell out of him

vegetarian ally, he actually tried to start going vegan to support tamlin -- at least, when they're together -- but the unanimous consensus was that for the sake of prythian and its inhabitants, no one should suffer those bean/tofu farts (you might think this is a joke, but i will NOT expand on my tofu experience thanks) and he also thinks being vegetarian is beans only so like guys he's TRYING

it's very important to me that cassian is gray romantic or demi-romantic; i like to imagine that he feels very deeply, which is why he hides it with is silliness, and with his upbringing, it's not very easy to open up his world to anyone. idk, cassian sleeping around doesn't particularly speak to me. take this with a grain of salt, i haven't explored this side of him enough to be definitive.

rhys and azriel are his brothers, tamlin is his best friend in the whole world. rhys and tamlin killing each other's parents and the subsequent rift would have broken his heart, he would have sad puppied the rest of the series if I had any say in it.

i think if not for his bargain w/ rhys, he would have absolutely reached out for tamlin for help when Rhys disappeared (spoilers for my sequel mb???)

he is a super senshi at heart -- sailor mars, specifically, is his fav. he sees himself in her OK.

cassian is short, esp for a fae he's like 5'7"-5'10" at best and its great bc we love a short king

plays pranks on Tamlin the most bc Rhys is a smartass, Azriel is a knowitall, Mor and Lucien just don't believe him, he's scared of Amren and Tamlin always listens

i'm anti-bond in general, so i wouldn't mate him with anyone, but if the vibes are there, the vibes are there.

cassian is the first person outside Tamlin's family to help him do his hair

i think people underestimate the comedic value of cassian toting people around under his arms as a legit travel method. oh, someone isn't showing up? send cassian, he will fetch them for u

cassian did impersonate tamlin for a day in his court bc tamlin/cassian had a bet with everyone else that they AREN'T the same person and they are very, very, very different -- nobody noticed the switch, they just thought tamlin was having a very silly day. cassian even chatted up the local wildlife which... is very tamlin. the only things that did notice were the Green (flora magic) that were very 🙄🙄🙄 at cassian

is anti-tithe bc he doesn't know what it means; he suggested everyone donate a part of their earnings so that they can have a very big savings account to pay for things that affect the collectivity of the court, he is also taking NO NOTES on his brilliant idea nONE

tamlin will never say it, but cassian's birthday gifts are his fav (they r usually really ugly matching shirts with something really dumb on them)

I'll probably expand on this list if I have ideas, but I feel like this gives a decent framework to the type of character when ✨I✨ am referring to him. As a person, I do not live in the canon universe, and I have decided to make a personalized blorbo out of Cassian.

This is also the energy I bring my twitter memes 😂

[oatmilktruther]

🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙 and also 🐍

thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about some of my ultimate fave ofmd characters

🐙 ed is literally Thee Character to me. i dont know if i will ever need another blorbo again. the thing is hes such a complex and layered character. hes a girls girl. hes a frat boy. hes jeff. hes just ed. hes the kraken. he literally can do anything including have a dramatic breakdown ending in suicide by mutiny (and i only say dramatic cause it was intense, not because his feelings werent justified or like he wasnt pushed there, because he was). i want to carry him around in my pocket. i want to top him into the sea bed. i want to braid his hair. i want to do shots with him over a round of turtle versus crab. i want to teach him how to drive stick i think he would lovvvve driving a stick shift car. if its possible to manifest a character into the real workd by writing about them inkheart style i will be the first to do it and ed will be the character. i love him so much. i rest my case.

🐍 ARCHIE AAAARRRRCCCHIIIEEE ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVE SIDE CHARACTERS. himbo. milf. ex (?) snake cultist. never been to a wedding. never heard an apology. obnoxious and sweet and hot and beautiful and i love her soooooooo much and i cant make a pitch for it in canon but in a modern au i think her and ed are worst friends with benefits i think their latent frat bro energy would sync and they would fuck about it. ARCHIE MG BELOVED. CALL ME IF YOU NEED/WANT ANYTHING ANY LITTLE THING.