#HE-1 to He-4

[exoticalmonde]

Part II. Hortus de Escapismo Dr. Evealia's Reaction

Well, first of all, my snake sandwich gets his skin before anything else happens.

Second, SPOILERS up ahead about the entire Hortus de Escapismo event, including the story, art and the full blow of my tears.

I think this is covering HE-1 through HE-4.

God in the basement has spoken and it says that something is wrong. A totally normal day in Laterano where your robotic diety is getting haywired from the inside. Surely this isn't going to be another cliffhanger where we never learn about whatever the hell this is since I may or may have not... skipped... Guiding Ahead story-wise.

Transcribed: [Raise your head and stand by my side, Saint Federico Giallo, the first Chosen of Laterano who does not come from the ranks of the popes.]

AYO IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING WE GET TO SEE HIM BECOME A SAINT???

The reason for that is that Pope Yvangelista XI got the threat responce from the MachineTM, but how does he plan to stop that, whatever it is, from happening if he just... baptises everybody? I agree with that other knight a moment ago, this sounds like a bad idea if that's the procedure for every account. Of course, we know Executor is the perfect personification of clean-cut justice, so how could it go wrong?

---

Transcribed: [Eating]

Ah.

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Transcribed: [ Delfina: You always have that gun with you. You got it from your dad, right? I thought it doesn't work anymore.

Fortuna: It doesn't. Maybe it's a parts problem. And I don't know how to use a gun myself...]

Can we just very shortly mention the meaning of their names? Delfina is Dolphin and Fortuna is Good Fate; Luck, but Delfina keeps calling Fortuna just Tuna. So they're Dolphin and Tuna.

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I absolutely need everybody to keep in mind that this is a fragment of a city that drifted away from the main city 60 or so years ago and got stranded. This is a city on wheels in the middle of ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY NOWHERE. And it's winter. These guys here are going to perish.

---

... Great. Wonderful. Bleed me to death why don't you?

Where are they even come from? Are those Iberian beasts that are prowling the streets? Is it just a random angry wolf that's evolved in some bizzare way from the wastes and stalks people? Do they have any way to defend themselves against those canonically?

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Can i insert a spoiler from the me that played this on my own for the second time? These are useless. It says that they can help relax the panicking residents but it left me with the impression it was meant to do it somewhat passively.

Not even a smitherine. If anybody tells you they do, they're lying. 20 DP for a resident whose bar raises faster than DP regenerates on 70% of the maps is a terrible introduction into the overall gameplay.

Maybe I was bad, but it's so... Not meant to force me to replay the tutorial twice, you know? Not this one at least.

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It does remain a funny act though. They run from statue to statue looking for something to pray to. How... futile. At least I don't have to defend them from enemies.

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The maps are gorgeous though... I love what they're doing for everything after spending way too long in chapters 4-8 looking at literally nothing. I enjoy this a LOT.

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Raimund huh?

I'm not a nun but I'd be on my knees for you in a second. Lord have mercy on you or whatever.

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BABABABABABABABY BIRDS LITTLE FLOOFERS WHAT ARE YOU WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE EXPLAIN YOUR SMOLLNESS!!!

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I love them so much... I hope the children are not doomed by the narrative.

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Oh I like Gerald as well... Him and Reimund are such father figure/son figure I hope to see more interaction between them. He seems pretty trustworthy though. Like, seriously just cares about his people and considering so far we saw a peace between Sarkaz and Sankta that has never been in the outside world... you know he has authority that matters.

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PFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LEMUEN IS SUCH A MIPY YOURE A GOOD BEAN

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Me: "Don't you love it when people in the story talk about plans they have previously made in such a way that doesnt tell me anything just so they can agree upon actions and or warn each other of consequences to actions without ever mentioning what they are and then I end up not understanding a single thing when the story ends, like… Isn't it fun?" Pinkie: "Ok, Fiametta." Me: "No, I'm being serious this is all over Arknights, I hate it." Pinkie: "I really can't tell if you're sarcastic right now, but this is really why Fiametta is so pissed." Me: "Well, call me spicy chicken." Pinkie: "Call me a Fat Duck then, because I'm about to go off."

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HA! Throwback to Guiding Ahead. Very nice.

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Transcribed: [The average conversation between the two of you is about as entertaining as 'What did you eat last night?' 'Dinner.']

THEY DO TALK LIKE THAT THOUGH HEFHFNAHGOINAGN

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Transcribed: [

Spuria: Federico, how much do I have to pay you for a few extra words? You name the price, and I'll send the bill to His Holiness.

Federico: I have never considered this question.]

They have the funniest banters and Federico probably doesn't even understand that it's happening, this is simultaniously the funniest and saddest outcome to any conversation ever.

---

...

...

Transcribed: [The dim light finally illuminates the girl's face, revealing spotty traces of blood, as well as the black horns protruding from her forehead.

Sankta blood drips onto the chapel's floorboards, giving off a dull sound. It is a deafening sound, one that opens all eyes wide.

The patron firearm used for prayer finally slips from the hands that were clutching it tightly.]

Oh... My... Fortuna...

---

Transcribed: [

Twisted Monster: (Indescipherable howling)

Lemuen: Nuh-uh, just because I'm physically handicapped doesn't mean you can pick on me, visitor!]

I love Lemuen, she is the best bright pink-haired girl ever.

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Oya, welcome to Rhodes Island, uh-- *nervously looking around as there is not a single Sankta on my ship* -- feel... feel uh-- at home... Not Laterano home uh--- Sarkaz are not allowed there haha, but uh-- Just take... I mean your room is down the hall, di- mm dinner is at seven o'clock.

[beastwhimsy]

this is moonlit mane but her TRUE PACK NAME is FIERCE FANG and one day the wolves will howl for her and she'll run to them and they'll accept her into their pack just you wait and see <- fierce fang does not yet understand that she lives in aotearoa, which famously has absolutely zero wolves

[deadpoolsmom]

as far as one piece antagonists go Crocodile truly gets absolutely scooby-doo’d at unmatched levels

He immediately falls for a phone scam and from basically little garden to rainbase he doesn’t even know the strawhats are alive (and clowning towards him at incredible speed). As soon as he does, they’re in his house tearing at his walls and bringing marines into his villain lair.

He uses a literal floor trap door over a gator pit to catch them, gets phone scammed again, full scooby-doo chase scenes after Chopper through the streets while still missing him, and suddenly his prisoners have escaped his impossible cage, and his giant bananagators are dead. and Nico Robin saw it all happen.

He then spends rest of the arc complaining about those meddling kids and their dog “strawhat pirates and their weird pet” and at no point does he even know how many strawhats there are.

Like yeah he keeps having plans on top of plans to stop everything Vivi can do but also she keeps coming up with a new thing to do (Tom and Jerry ass dynamic).

Part of it is that he’s underestimating them and keeps grandstanding villain monologuing but also teens keep killing hundreds of his grand line bounty hunters and he straight up does not know what is happening.

Cause he IS trying to kill them he’s sending top assassins after them and ripping out luffy’s organs, the whole time he’s yelling HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?? DIE. as whack-a-mole Luffy keeps inventing new ways to hit him.

[lazylittledragon]

dndads s1 you're so special to me

[meltesh28]

nezha spear form animation!! had a toonnn of fun with this one but my hands are numb now 😭

[cidnangarlond]

[draykray]

Draco doesn’t know how to play:)

[z13lovebot]

Go fish

[orbveil]

(♪)

[fredware]

AND YET, IT STILL

TREMBLES.

OUR BEAUTIFUL

CONNECTION.

I CAN FEEL IT

QUICKENING NOW.

[aprill-99]

Xaden: “Okay everyone, safety briefing for this weekend.”

Xaden *to Ridoc and Bodhi*: “Do not add to the population.”

Xaden *to Imogen*: “Do not subtract from the population.”

Xaden *to Rhiannon, Sawyer, and Garrick in order*: “Do not end up in the newspaper, the hospital, or in jail.”

Xaden *to Violet*: “If you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.”

[munsons-mutiny]

One of my favorite trope for Steddie is Steve hunting down Eddie when the kids join Hellfire and giving him a long list of dos and donts.

At first Eddie thinks he’s just being a prick, and worried he’s going to turn the nerds into freaks like him. Especially when he says not to mention drugs in front of Dustin.

But then he starts pulling out lists of monsters that can’t be in campaigns. And like what??? Why can’t he use demagorgons? They were gonna be in the next combat! He’s tempted to ignore the warnings, in fact he’s all set to, but something about Steve’s face when he was laying it all out haunts him. Something so deadly serious about it. So first he decides to test the waters to see if he’s full of shit.

When the session starts, he makes a throwaway comment, “you’re acting like there’s a mindflayer around the corner.”

All the kids freeze but Wheeler especially looks like he’s going to be sick. He even grabs at the bracelet around his wrist. The one he always said his best friend made him before he moved.

Eddie curses himself for even trying to test it out after that, and immediately bullshits the whole session so he can scrap any hint of demogorgans from the campaign.

After that session he drives straight to Harringtons house and demands they go over all the things he can’t include again, in detail, while he takes notes.

He doesn’t know what’s going on with these freshmen, but he knows trauma when he sees it and well he’d gotten attached to the gremlins.

When he leaves that night, he thinks Steve is looking at him with approval. Like he trusts him with their well-being now.

[crayonsquadlilac]

Gerson socializes with his fellow shadow crystal havers

[pretzelgotze]

It's not a Max stream if he doesn't say it.

[luvlian]

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[egophiliac]

time for skeleman

with the lack of any other info yet, all I can focus on are those Charles Lloyd-looking sunglasses. they are absolutely sending me. I feel like we're gonna fall through a tree or whatever and this stitched-up boney gentleman is gonna pop out from behind a gravestone and start serenading us with some smooth jazz on the saxophone.

or should I say...the saxoBONE???????