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#HELLO SYD
kylejsugarman · 7 months
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breaking bad fans after theyre asked whether they think a psychologically battered woman trapped in a nightmarish situation and a man so mentally ill that he cannot leave his house by himself are as morally bankrupt as the guy who killed a child unprompted and is also a Literal Nazi:
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lostincosmicwar · 7 months
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youtube
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If I didn’t hear it wrong then that must be Rick talking to Syd
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all-fleshed-out · 2 months
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Kicks down the door
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She. Needs. UPPIES.
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portrait of the lover from memory (blue hour), a poem by yours truly // transcript in alt text
Hehe have some gay shit
+ taglist
@talesofsorrowandofruin @baguettethebooklover @alexwritesfiction @rwickworre @olimpias @wildswrites @fiercely-raging-writer @writing-is-a-martial-art @ink-fireplace-coffee @thecollapsingneutron @phantomnations @cryptidsandqueers
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Carmy promising "I won't let you" have a meltdown to Syd in 2x9.
Carmy then wordlessly reinforcing this promise by vigorously shaking his head after prolonged eye contact with his beloved under the table.
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yyoon5 · 10 days
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not my birthday by any means, but look what I got...😳
Also I think it's really funny that there's a sticker in the left bottom hand cover that says "OF" and is a doughnut with pink icing...if you're an Odd Future fan, you get it. 👀
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thatrandombystander · 9 months
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Making a list of Greater Sydney events to possibly attend this year, if any fellow NSWelshman can think of anything else interesting lmk
Apr 20-21: Generation Games
May 4-5: Sydney Miniatures and Dolls House Fair
Jun 22-23: Supanova
Jul 3-6: Sydney Craft & Quilt Fair
Jul 6-7: Winterfest Medieval Fair
Jul 20-21: Smash (date unconfirmed. i'm guessing it)
Sep 21-22: Oz Comic-Con
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@clownartmonth’s Clown Art Month Day 19: Rain!! :•)
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kylejsugarman · 2 years
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so funny how people are comparing skinamarink to paranormal activity. one of these movies is a brilliant mediation on childhood fear and trauma and vulnerability and the other is a white couple sleeping in their queen sized bed for 80 minutes
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iwowzumi · 1 year
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i never thought i would have to say this cause my followers have been static forever and idk if im getting spammed with bots or what but if u have a blank blog with no profile pic, title, bio or posts i will block u srry! with no info on your blog you are indistinguishable from a bot so i don’t take chances
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*does a little dance in your inbox*
gets up to dance with u
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frankenstheythem · 6 months
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if only my multiple brain partners had spawned in different bodies and places where they would actually have a chance to fulfill their desires and hobbies instead of like. a bootleg fusion of nothingness in a fucking nothing place. the more i realize the less i wanna realize
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purpledthots · 2 years
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BRING BACK SPLIT RIGHT NOW OR I AM GIONG TO GCRY!!!!
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Got inspired and drew myself in the emo/scene style!! <3
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kylejsugarman · 6 months
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so funny that other guy from a show lovers have to like edit in a cute plushie under their guy's arm or a sanrio logo on their shirt when jesse pinkman just straight up got handed a hello kitty cell phone In Show and had to use it
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carmenized-onions · 4 months
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Tony, Terry, Tommy? | Walk-In Hotfix
synopsis; You get an unexpected call from an old friend in need of an emergency repair. Good thing: that's kind of your whole gig. Bad thing: You've been avoiding the Berzatto family for the past year.
tasting notes; hurt comfort? idk man, he's in a fuckin' freezer. this is gonna be a long slow-burn series. We don't use Y/N here and we've got a very preestablished storyline going on babes. Eat up.
portion; 3.1k+
possible allergies; SEASON 2 FINALE SPOILERS, I've started writing this before Season 3 comes out in June so we're going WAY off canon (unless I'm an oracle), Mikey is gonna be central baby, any tw you require for the bear-- you require for this.
pairing; Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto & Fem Reader (No pronouns!)
I have not written fanfiction in 5-6 years and once again some goddamn pretty boy just YOINKS me back in. I'm making up my own season three here so I'm kinda flying by the seat of my pants with this series, hopefully it turns out. If it doesn't... C'est la vie, I had fun.
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The inciting incident, the thing that pulls you in, and permanently alters the trajectory of your life—                    Is honestly quite boring, because it’s just a phone call from an old friend.
You stare at your screen for what feels like eons but it’s really just a few rings. It’s enough time to frantically search through blankets on your couch for your remote to pause your show— Which might as well be like 10 years of time. You’re heavily debating not answering; what if it’s something heavy? What if a mutual childhood friend died? What if it’s a love or murder confession? What if it’s about the money you owe her? The money she owes you?
Do you really want to take that kind of call? On what’s been a peaceful Friday night? That’s a rarity in your part of Chicago, c’mon. If it’s important, she’ll leave a voicemail... Who are you kidding, she doesn’t leave voicemails— Frankly, it’s bizarre and concerning that she’s calling in the first place instead of spam texting. …Alright, she’s let it get to the fourth ring, she’s probably dead or dying. You need to pick up.
“…Syd?”
She sounds infinitely stressed, but relieved to hear your voice.“Hey, hey, uh—”
There’s a cacophony of yelling, banging, and what you imagine are kitchen noises in the background. Guess she kept to her guns after Sheridan. That’s nice. Or maybe it’s not. Hard to tell.
“Are you good?” She can’t see the concern on your face or your free arm crossing over your waist— But she can imagine it in the worried lilt of your voice.
“Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah— I-I’m good— Well actually, no, I’m not good, that’s why I’m calling. Actually. Sorry. I know it’s been a minute, it’s fucked up to call only when I need something—”
“Syd.”
“Is your dad still a handy-man?”
Ah. Goodbye peaceful Friday night. Hello emergency hotfix services.
You click your teeth, “Oh, no, he retired. Got a case of… Getting fucking old disease.” But a part of you is relieved it’s a thing that’s broken, and not her. This is at least manageable— Whatever it is.
“Fuck. Okay. Fuck. Ha, yeah, my dad’s got that too— Well, okay, then I’ll talk—”
You’re quick to jump in. “I took over the business though. So, if you’re—" “We need help so bad right now.”
You can’t help but laugh at the speed of it, but immediately feel guilty hearing the desperation in it. “Yeah? Who’s we?”
You stick the cellphone in the crux of your neck, already walking across your apartment to throw on your jumpsuit— Dark navy blue, elbow length sleeves, dad’s old logo embroidered on your right breast pocket.
CHICAGO’S KINDEST ⚒ FIXERS & CO. It’s managed to grow on you.
There’s an egregious number of patches ironed or sewn onto the back and shoulders of it. All from businesses you and your father had either worked with or done odd jobs for. A NASCAR jumpsuit, but for nostalgia and small businesses. Something something ‘it all starts with your neighbourhood’. Your dad would say.
Syd continues, she hasn’t changed much. You hear her sharp dicing in the background, the rhythm seems to calm down into an actual flow instead of erratic speed. You figure either the dinner rush is starting to slow down or she’s relieved you’re coming. Who are you being humble for, no shot it’s the former.
“So, you know how I’m like— Like a chef and shit?”
 You hum the affirmative, putting her on speakerphone so you can pull out your tool kit with both hands.
“So like, I actually co-own this restaurant opening tonight.”
“Oh nice!”
“Yeah— Yeah, yeah, it’s really nice, but actually, it’s not, because it’s bad.”
“In the way I can fix?”
“In the way you can fix, yeah. Hopefully.”
“What’s the damage?”
“So, my co-owner uh, Carmen, he got locked in the walk-in. Like trapped.”
You take a beat, a confused one. Half-stepping, almost tripping. You stare at your tools, picking out what you’ll actually need for this— How the fuck— “How is he trapped in the walk-in?”
“So, he meant to call to get it fixed—” “And he didn’t?” “And he didn’t.”
“What was broke about it in the first place?”
“The doorknob on the inside, broke off. And right now, or, more like, 5 minutes ago, the handle on the outside broke off too.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, fuck.”
“Do you have the outside handle, still?”
“Yeah. Yeah, laying around somewhere— It snapped off though, like—”
“Clean?”
“Uh…. Y’know, I would check, but I’m actually kinda—"
“Can we run table 36, please, Chefs?!” Now that’s an uncomfortably familiar voice.
“Yes, Chef! …I’m kinda busy.”
“Right. Restaurant. Oh, what fucking restaurant? You said Carmen, that’s that fuckin’ Michelin guy, right?” Berzatto. It has to be. The smallness of this world is a personal prank on you.
“…How do you know that?” Son of a bitch.
“…I try to remember what you like.” It’s a good save, but that was too intimate for 3 years of no contact besides Happy Birthday texts, fuck fuck, recover— “Ahem, uh, Restaurant?”
“The Bear. Formerly The Beef. You do still live in Chicago, right?”
Berzatto. Confirmed. Bleh.
“Fortunate for you, I do. I know The Beef, I’m not far, I’ll be there in ten. Tell him to not have a panic attack, if you get a minute.”
“I will not get a minute. But I love the dream.”
And you’re off. Jumpsuit half zipped over what was supposed to be a sleep shirt but is now posthumously a work shirt. Nobody has to know you’re wearing pajama shorts under this. Carhartt jacket thrown over your shoulders— Your dad’s, so, a bit oversized. Toolbox in hand, utility belt on— Though you’re mildly sure if your hypothesis is right, you will only need your threateningly long sledgehammer.
Thank God for your car. CTA would not like you right now.
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You pull up front. Oh boy. The sign change is making you feel a type of way that you were not expecting. Pride? Envy? All seven of the deadly sins? Maybe. No time to stew on it because there’s an older woman smoking and having an emotional spat with who you assume is her shivering son out front. So. Definitely going through the back alley instead of getting in the middle of that shit.
Alas, it’s not any better, because there’s Syd, vomiting next to a dumpster.
“Better to ignore or acknowledge you in this moment?” Is the response you decide is best, despite the question, you’re already by her side. You put your tools down (out of the splash zone) and rub her back with one hand, holding back straying braids with the other.
“I couldn’t—” More vomit. “Fuckin’ tell ya.” Syd takes a few deep breathes before standing. She considers going in for a hug, but remembers, the vomit. “Good to see you. I want to catch up, f’real, but—” “The bear in the walk-in?” “The bear in the walk-in.”
You nod, fishing through your pocket. You hand her a mini container of Tums. She waves it off, of course, and you double down, of course, “Who you acting tough for?”
“Fuckin… No one.” She grimaces, taking the box. She makes a show of taking one, like a fussy kid.
You refuse to take it back. “Keep it.”
“Never stopped being the mom friend, eh?”
You laugh, picking up your tools again. “Listen, there’s no telling what the night and your stomach holds. Lead the way?”
The Bear is pretty, or at least the kitchen of it is, so far. It’s clean. Cleaner than it used to be. The death trap walk-in is really the only eyesore for you. You stare at the broken-off handle in your hand, twisting it back and forth to look at all the angles. It’s honestly a pretty clean break.
Sydney’s left to talk to her dad, as she should, and the rest of the kitchen is either too busy to pay you mind or is just silently relieved to see you.
Tina— Who has thankfully opted to not say ‘Hey, good to see you, it’s been a year, what the fuck’—Taps the walk-in door and says to this elusive Michelin Carmen that she’ll be right back, that help’s here. He does not seem to register this at all. She gently slaps your cheek before rushing back to her station, regardless.
“Maybe I’m just not built for this, maybe, maybe that’s okay— Maybe that just is.”
You’ve never said his name to him, it feels heavy on your tongue. “Carmen.”
“Right? What the fuck was I thinking?”
Alright, he’s too far gone. You flag down one of the cooks that are just shadowing for the night. “Hey, can you hold this in place for me?”
You stick the handle into what’s left of the hinge still attached to the door, which is, not much— But hopefully, again, if your hypothesis is correct, it’ll give enough leverage. The cook holds it in place, a little terrified as your sledgehammer comes into view.
“Not gonna hit you, promise.”
“—I’m a fuckin’ psycho. That’s why. That’s why I’m good at what I do.”
You tap (bang) the hammer on the door, enough to stop his train of thought. For a second, at least. “Sweetheart, I need you to stand up for me, Carmen Chef Sir.”
“…Tony?”
“...Who the fuck is Tony?”
The meek cook beside you speaks up, “He means Tommy.”
And Tina is quick to yell from across the kitchen— hearing how? We don’t know. “It’s Terry!”
“I am none of these people.” You sigh, readying the hammer. “Carmen, can you stand up, and just tuck your fingers in the wedge of the door? If there is one?”
“Heard. Yeah.” There’s shuffling from in there, getting into position. Though the steps and the words seem dazed, as he’s forced out of a mental fog. “Here.”
“This isn’t a fix by the way. Your whole door is fucked after this. Not that it isn’t already, but, y’know.” You back up, teeing yourself up before running forward.
“Well, wait—”
You slam the mallet into the tip of the handle perfectly, forcing it way too tight into the gap of the hinge. You push the cook aside with your hip, now using the long handle of the mallet to stick between the knob and the door, using it as further leverage to pull it open. It is incredibly straining.
“Carmy!” Is it okay to say that nickname before you’ve even seen his face? Eh. You’re moving the boulder, he’ll forgive you. “You feel air?!”
“Holy shit— Yeah, yeah— Push?!” “Of course fucking push!”
And it becomes apparent in this exchange of force that this Head Chef must be significantly stronger than you, because it’s opening a lot faster now. Though, fast is a strong word for the snail pace this is happening at. But it’s more than the nothing that was happening a minute ago.
“Aye… Cousin?” Richie, in a… suit? Runs up to you, coming from front of house. He immediately grabs a free spot on the sledgehammer’s handle to help pull. He was shocked to see you doing, well, this, right now, but then upon registering, he’s just shocked to see you. Period.
You can only groan in response, sticking a leg up and putting your foot on the wall as if it’s gonna add meaningful leverage— Oh wait, it kinda is. “Y'clean up good, Rich— Opening going—Fuck— well?”
“Oh yeah, fucking peachy.” He can only manage to wheeze in reply. Investing his strength in yanking rather than reintroductions; thankfully it pays off.
The hinge shoots open, you would have absolutely fallen on your ass if Richie was not ready to stabilize you. The walk-in door cracks open. Just a bit. It’s not dramatic, it’s just a breath.
It’s so anti-climactic that Richie doesn’t mind walking off to cheer before Carmen even comes out. Clapping your back as he does. “That’s what I like to fuckin’ see, Cousin! Ingenuity!”
Though, to be fair, he’s moving to intercept a very sweet looking, worried girl. You look up at her, wheezing as you keel over slightly to catch your breath, hands on your knees. She’s saying something along the lines of ‘What’s going on?’ ‘Is he okay?’ Girlfriend? Probably. Richie seems to be coaxing her accordingly. You turn your head back to the door. Carmen hasn’t come out yet. That’s a red flag. With another wheeze, you stand up right, opening the door further, peeking in.
He's standing there, catatonic. Not looking at you, but straight forward, beyond you. He must’ve been by the door to push it open but now he’s stumbled against the back shelf. Every time his girl’s voice manages to ring into here, his eyes crinkle— Wince. His breath keeps hitching. He looks afraid. It is better to be caged right now than it is to be out there, doing whatever he could be doing, right now. Talking to anyone might be a death sentence, right now.
“I don’t need to provide amusement or enjoyment. I don’t need to receive any amusement or enjoyment. I’m completely fine with that.” He mumbles repeatedly. You can barely hear it over the buzzing of the freezer.
Whispering it just for himself, like some sort of fucked up mantra. Like it’s a state of inner peace to feel this bad. You doubt he even sees you right now.
You know you don’t know Carmy personally. Mostly just through hearsay.
He’s never met or heard of you, that’s for sure.
But you know Berzattos. Or. Knew the one.
And you know a downward spiral. Intimately.
And you know that right now, he’s fucking cold. He is shivering and making no move to leave that state. You think he thinks that’s the state he deserves to stay in.
Nothing to lose but a good first impression, right? You drop a screwdriver in the doorway as a doorstop— Because how fucking dumb would it be if you both got stuck? And. Extremely slowly, you approach him not unlike approaching an actual captive bear. In your eyes, you might as well be.
Standing right in front of him doesn’t stop his mantra. You slip your jacket off, half hugging him to drape it over his shoulders. “You’re just cold.”
“I’m a—” “You’re just. Cold.” You cut him off before he has the chance to self-deprecate again, smoothing out the sleeves on him. His eyes readjust to actually look at you rather than somewhere beyond.
You sniff. You’re already cold and it’s been 30 seconds. This poor thing. You rub your hands together, breathing hot air into them before touching them to his frigid fucking face. “Fuck you’re really cold. Like danger cold.”
Never being one for boundaries or hesitation, you hug yourself to him. It’s the fastest way to warm him up. You slip your hands under the jacket— Your jacket— And just engulf the Italian Popsicle Man before you.
Shockingly, he doesn’t push you off or suddenly reawaken to his senses and tell you to fuck off. He doesn’t flinch, if anything he leans in. His body doesn’t really have time for surprise, right now, it just takes what it needs. And what it needs is warmth and oxytocin. His breathing slowly but surely self regulates, and once you start to remember decorum you lower your arms— But. He opts to place his chin on your shoulder, like the world’s most gentle hook, and that alone is enough to keep you there.
It's a long, silent, liminal spacey moment before he speaks again. Both of you speak just above the decibel of the freezer's buzzing.
“You’re not Tony.”
“Terry.”
“You’re Terry?”
“No, Tina said Tony’s Terry. I don’t know who the fuck Terry is.”
“Terry’s the fridge guy.”
“You’re still going to need to call him; I did just make it worse.”
“That’s fine.” He swallows. “Who called you?”
“Syd.”
“Should’ve called you earlier.”
“Should’ve called the fridge guy earlier.”
“Yeah.” He sighs, but he makes no move to move, so you don’t either.
“You know Mikey too?”
Ah. The patch. The Beef. It's worn, but it sits proudly on the left shoulder of your jumpsuit. Your heart tightens and so does your posture.
“Yeah.” You sigh. It’s shakier than you’d like it to be. “Dad knew him, so then I knew him, so then I occasionally fixed shit for him. Shit that ‘Fak couldn’t?’ I think his name was?”
“Hm.” He hums. “He ever got locked in the walk-in?”
“Yeah, he really fucked it up, like waayy worse than whatever happened with you tonight. Like whatever happened. At least 10 times worse.” Your voice is coated with sarcasm, but it’s not entirely untrue.
You’re relieved, when Carmen laughs at this, a touch maniacally, but it’s something. Right now, any emotion from him besides regret and anxiety feels like a trophy. He straightens up, pushing his hair back, so you remove your arms.
“You’re fuckin’ funny, Tony.”
“Still not Tony.”
“Oh my god!” A blonde, very pregnant woman cracks the door open, relieved. “Are you okay, Bear?” You step aside so she can hug Carmen, holding his cheeks to look over him. Oh, this has to be—
“I’m good, I’m great, Sug.” He says this incredibly unconvincingly, hanging one hand on her wrist.
But what matters more in your brain right now is: That’s Sugar. Natalie.
And now you can put a face to both siblings you’ve been bitched about to.
Chain-smoker, means well, cringeworthy husband, too good for her family, incredibly judgemental, cares too much and worries more, loves to fight, her mother’s daughter, pushy, sticks her foot in her mouth, can’t take no for an answer, would lay down her life. Natalie Berzatto. Little sister.
Michelin Star retaining, big shot, sensitive, definitely a virgin, ball buster, sweats the small stuff, sweetheart, asshole, incredibly smart, flighty, coward, deeply loyal, whiny, screamer, show-off, fantastic drawer, shell, mister new york, annoyingly humble, undeniably the most talented. Carmen Berzatto. Baby brother.
Mikey’s words. Of course.
Nat turns her gaze over to you, “Thank you.” You can only bring yourself to nod in reply, a bit awkward— Lost in your rolodex of memories of the people you’ve never actually met until right now. It’s weird to feel parasocial about a normal person.   
“Our toilet, exploded.” She says.
Now that pulls out you of it, and gets a laugh out of you. You put your hand over your mouth. “Yeah?”
Sugar shakes her head, eyes widening like she’s just stepped in it, “I didn’t mean like— Like, you just did a job, right, that’s like tacking on another last-minute service—”
“That’s fine.” You put a hand up stopping her from continuing, still chuckling. “I’ll take a look at it tonight and try to fix it tomorrow?”
She nods, smiling bright, “Thank you, Tommy.”
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Who needs to use Y/N when you have the fridge guy?
I so desperately hope you liked this first chapter. I've been stewing on this for like a week so I beg of you to reply/reblog/send me an ask (anon or not!!) telling me what you thought!! Unless it's mean!! In which case, do NOT!!!
And just a forewarning, as we step into uncharted territory where the walk-in meltdown was cut short, I need you to hold my hand through it bb. We're making this man's life better or we're gonna die trying.
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