#He is a bowl of petunias

[regallibellbright]

Dad: Has (Bro’s Girlfriend) seen Jupiter Ascending yet?

Bro: I don’t believe she has.

Dad: You two should watch it, it’s bonkers in the best way. It’s the Wachowskis, it’s a lot of fun

Bro: Is that the one where Channing Tatum -

Me and Dad: Yes.

Dad: And Sean Bean’s in it and he doesn’t die!

Bro: That was my next question! (And presumably the one immediately after it.)

[coffeeghoulie]

Mushy May Day 16: Cooking A Special Recipe

Cumulus, Mountain, and Dew introduce Aeon to the joys of kahlua chocolate chip cookies.

Thank you to @forlorn-crows for putting Mushy May together, and thank you to @ghuleh-recs for making the divider! <3

"Hey, junie, look what we got while we were out shopping!"

Mountain and Aeon both look up from the round of Mario Kart they're playing, Aeon cursing under their breath as their Toad crashes into a wall, the 'wrong way' sign flashing over his head.

Dew's stuck his head into the living room from the kitchen, holding up a brown glass bottle with a red and yellow label, shaking it. The full bottle sloshes, and Mountain perks up. "Oh shit, you got kahlua. I know what that means."

"Fuck yeah, you do," Dew crows, eyes wide.

Aeon's brow furrows. "It's ten in the morning on a Thursday, are we starting to drink this early?"

Mountain reaches over, rubbing Aeon's shoulder. "No, petunia, it's not for drinking, at least, not right now. We're making cookies."

"Oh, fuck yeah, cookies," Aeon pauses their game, spamming the button with such urgency that Mountain cackles, standing from the couch. "Is Cue helping?"

"It's her recipe," Dew says, leading the two other ghouls to the kitchen. There are grocery bags on the kitchen counter, things the Abbey can't grow or make themselves. Semi sweet chocolate chips, butterscotch pudding mix, the thick glass bottle of rum and coffee liqueur that Dew sets down with a clink.

Cumulus looks up from where she's sorting things in the fridge, hair tied back. "Boys," she greets the three of them. "You helping make cookies?"

"Unless that means you have too many cooks in the kitchen,'' Mountain says, reaching to grab the big bag of all-purpose flour from the top shelf of the cupboard. "Though I don't think Aeon's ever had your cookies before."

"You're in for a treat then, bunny. If it's too many people," she says, "I'll just kick Dew out."

"Hey!" he protests, but there's laughter in his voice; he knows she's teasing.

Aeon glances over at her as she pulls out the carton of eggs. "Can you get the cup and spoon measures out of the drawer by the sink?" Cumulus asks, moving to preset the oven. Aeon nods, scrambling to comply and moving out of Dew's way as he grabs bowls and a rubber spatula.

Mountain fetches baking powder ("Not soda, right, hummingbird?" "Yep, soda makes them flatter than I want them." "Like Dewey's ass?" "I can hear you!") and salt. He takes the measures from Aeon and shows them how to level the measuring cups of flour, dumping them into a bowl with the pudding mix. Aeon adds the spoons of baking powder and salt.

Dew takes care of the wet ingredients, both types of sugar and softened butter and vanilla and a healthy pour of kahlua. Cumulus takes the bottle when he's done, slyly pouring half a shot for all four of them.

"Add a little bit at a time," Mountain directs Aeon, taking the wet bowl from Dew. "I'll stir."

Aeon nods, biting their tongue in concentration, trying not to spill the dry ingredients. Bit by bit, the dough starts to form, and Cumulus adds the chocolate chips, all four of them trying to be slick and snatch a few while the other three aren't looking. Inevitably they catch each other stealing chunks of dough, cackling at the absurdity of trying to be sneaky.

Once the dough's ready, Cumulus goes to one of the cabinet drawers, pulling out an ice cream scoop . "Mount, there's a baking sheet with parchment paper on the counter, could you grab that for me?"

"'Course," he hums, already turning to grab it for her. Cumulus scoops the dough onto the baking sheet, evenly arranging them in rows. Once the sheet's full, she slides it into the oven.

"Alright, ten minutes on the clock," she hums, turning to gather the shotglasses and passing them out. "Cheers."

They down their shots before rinsing out the glasses and cleaning up the dirty dishes. Mountain keeps an eye on the stove clock as the kitchen fills with the scent of baked goods. "How long do you think it'll take for Swiss to come throw himself on top of these?" Mountain asks.

"I don't think hiding them on top of the fridge will work this time," Cumulus hums. "I mean. It'll keep Aurora and Dew from getting them at least."

"Wait." Dew's brow furrows, a look of distress falling over his features. "Is that where they went last time? I thought they were all gone."

"Oh, Dewey," Cumulus coos, laughing. "Oh, Dew, I'm so sorry."

"Cue!" He shouts, playing up his upset.

Mountain ruffles his hair, and the fire ghoul sputters, frantically trying to fix his hair. "Don't worry, firefly, we get first dibs."

Dew smiles smugly, settling back against the counter until the stove clock says it's been ten minutes. He gets up, turning to Aeon, leveling them with a serious look. "Please don't ever do what I'm about to do, I'm a fire ghoul, I don't need a hotpad. You will burn yourself if you try."

He opens the oven, pulling the tray out with his bare hands and taking the spatula from Cumulus, moving the finished cookies from the tray to a plate. They're round little things, golden brown and the chocolate chips gooey.

Cumulus waves her hand casually, using her wind to cool the cookies til they're just on the right side of warm. "Aeon, you get first pick. Enjoy."

She grins as Aeon picks one, tentatively taking a bite. The others all watch, grinning as their eyes go wide, a nearly pornographic moan slipping from their lips. "Holy fuck, Cue," they say with their mouth still full.

"Yeah?" she laughs, taking her own cookie. Dew and Mountain are quick to snatch one for themselves.

"That's really fucking good," they say, taking another big bite of cookie.

"They are," Dew says, biting off nearly half of his cookie. His eyes flutter shut. "Fuck. Just as good as I remember."

Mountain makes a similar noise to Aeon as he chews. "Yep. Uh-huh. We need to find a spot to hide these so they last for longer than an afternoon."

There's thudding footsteps, and Swiss skids on socked feet into the doorframe. "I smell kahlua cookies," he pants, eyes wide and a little crazed, a grin splitting his face.

Cumulus shares a look with Mountain and Dew, and all four of them burst into laughter.

[siriuslychessi]

For September's @jilychallenge partner @petalsthefish

Wordless

AO3 | FF

Prompt: A new teacher for DADA assigns partners for the year and you are partnered with your worst nightmare (your crush’s best mate or your crush him/herself)

Magnus Elderberry had been Hogwarts’ 6th DADA Professor in as many years since the class of ‘77 started attending it. It seemed that no matter what the school could not keep a Professor for that class no matter how good they were. They were not sure if it was the lack of payment, or if the rumour that the job was cursed was true. 

The older man was strict but he made sure that along their rigorous syllabus they would also have practical lessons. 

“This first term you will be paired with the same classmate, the distribution will be aleatory as we do not play favourites in this classroom. You will all learn nonverbal spells and since this is a taxing endeavour your partner will become both an ally and a competitor. At the end of term there will be a nonverbal duel tournament, the best partners will gain 100 points to their houses.”

A collecting murmur could be heard through the classroom, there was something terrible about being stuck with someone you despised, but the promise of 100 points for duelling had the class excited. 

The names were taken out from a bowl one by one, and Lily watched every piece of paper with such force she actually thought that she would be able to change the name on the paper if needed. 

Last year she had a fall out with her best mate, Severus Snape, and after that she did not want to be stuck with him as a partner for the next foreseeable future. Yet the name that was paired with hers was not a Slytherin, but a fellow housemate. 

Sirius Black, one of the top students of the class, great marks and James Potter’s best mate approached the place where she was standing and smiled at Lily. “Evans, this is going to be interesting.” he smiled, his hands in his pocket as he waited for her to say something. 

They didn’t use to get along, Sirius and her. Mostly because he loved to mess with Severus, as much as Severus liked to mess with him, and Lily as a good friend always sided with her oldest mate, instead of his housemate. That was until the mudblood incident, and ever since then Lily’s life had seemed to change 180º, her and Severus did not speak anymore, and Sirius…

She was not sure about Sirius.

Today they were practising just simple nonverbal protecting and disarming spells, to start the terms, something to warm them up for the things to come. Apparently in preparation for their NEWTs they would get nonverbal and wandless classes, and this was just a small step in that direction. 

“The motion of your wand needs to be more precise when words are not used, at first they would try to conjure the word in their heads, which was good practice, but in time;” Professor Elderberry said, “it will come as easy as walking, you won’t think about the word, but of the use of the spell. Making your magic work seamlessly with your thoughts.” As he finished the explanation he summoned one book from the other end of the classroom, demonstrating what he meant, and then put them to work. 

The class spread around the classroom to start practising. Lily did not dare to look at Sirius, not because she disliked him, but because she was afraid that he would see something in her that she was not sure was anything. It was probably nothing.

Well it was something if it bothered her so much, but it was probably not anything consequential. Or was it?

She had been so confused since last year that just thinking about sharing the class with Black would end her. She had enough on her plate with the broken relationship with Snape, Petunia’s ever growing disdain and now… well… it did not matter.

Sirius stood in front of Lily, wand in hand and looking at the shorter woman a bit amused. Lily was a brilliant witch and hilarious when she was not in a crusade to try and justify Snape’s decision and actions, but he did not remember the last time they were paired together. He was about to ask how they should go about it when a loud “I won’t spend the rest of the term working with him!” could be heard from where the Professor stood. 

“Mr Snape, as explained, there is no favouritism in this class. Groups are not to be changed for the remaining term. What was not clear.” The Professor said calmly.

Snape looked at the Professor and at James Potter, who stood next to them waiting for the scene to play out. 

“Professor, it was clear, but you can not expect me to work with Potter, that is not possible.” Snape said quieter, just so the professor could hear.

“May I know why you think that?” The Professor asked, once again, calmly. He could be persuaded but it seemed that Severus Snape did not have a proper reason to give.

If it were any other Professor they would know why Snape and Potter could not work together, but the new DADA Professor was just clueless. Explaining how Snape and James did not like each other and kept hexing each other whenever they got the chance would make Snape confess to things he did not want faculty knowing, as he played innocent in those occasions, 

“Are you not up to the challenge?” James’ voice was almost teasing, but he was not dumb enough to get detention. He had no issue working with Snape, he disliked him, but he was not going to cause a scene just because he got to learn how to hext and disarm him without even saying a word. 

James was also clear that even with the small tantrum, Snape was not dim and he would probably also master the spells quick enough for there to be any serious trouble. The main issue was, how long would they last before they would be at each other’s throats? How many points would they get deducted that the 100 points from the assignment would seem like child’s play in comparison? 

Neither of them were sure, but at the moment James seemed to have the proverbial upper hand facing the Professor and Snape was not liking it. 

“Shut up, Potter. Let’s finish this.” Snape reluctantly went to another corner of the classroom for them to do the exercises. 

At the other end of the room Lily Evans was watching them, she had been so focused on not getting Severus that when she got Sirius she forgot that someone would get her former best mate. If she would have had to guess who would be paired with Severus, never in a million years she would have imagined James. Both boys were catalysts for each other’s worst qualities. 

“Worried about your mate, Red?” Sirius said behind her, looking in the same direction where Snape and Potter were standing in front of each other, the tension palpable as a bomb about to explode. 

“I’m sure James will be okay.” Lily said dismissively, because Snape certainly was not her friend anymore. 

A smirk formed on Sirius’ lips, now focusing his attention on Lily rather than his mate and the git. “So, it is James now?” a teasing tone could be heard in Sirius’ voice and Lily had to mentally hit herself. She had been so close to not show any kind of change or favouritism towards James until she managed to find exactly how she felt, but her mouth had to slip at that very moment. 

“Well, I don’t call my mates by their last name, Black.” she replied, trying to be nonchalant, yet a small blush crept to her cheeks betraying her.

Sirius put a hand on his heart, fainting hurt, “You don’t consider us friends, Red, that’s hurtful considering I rather like you.” and he was sincere, Lily could be a lot of things, but she was a nice bird with a decent sense of humour and a nice head above her shoulders. He was annoyed at Prongs’ crush on her, but Sirius could not put that blame onto the redhead. 

“Let’s just try to get through this class and maybe my fondness for you will grow.” she joked, making Sirius chuckle and nodding, letting slide just this once that he saw more than a friendship growing between Lily and James. 

Sirius took out his wand but did not raise it against Lily at first, he seemed a bit bored of the class already and Lily found it nice that they were not just doing lectures but actual practice. Yet, the older Black seemed to be done with the class already and that peeved Lily. “Do I bore you so much already? You haven’t even given me a chance to do anything.”

Sirius arched his brows in disbelief, “Red, I have nothing but respect for you, but I’m afraid the lesson is not quite as thrilling.” he admitted, making sure that his face showed more than just boredom. He was so used to being around people that knew that Blacks had just the same resting face that he forgot other people might not be. 

Lily looked at her fellow Gryffindor, not sure what to think. Sirius did seem to be making an effort, and she knew that for all his flaws he was rather honest, sometimes brutally honest. “You think the practice lesson is boring? Nonverbal seems like a challenge.”

It was true that for most young wizards nonverbal spells were a challenge, Sirius was not the exception, even with his brilliant mind it took him a while to master them. But he and his friends were trying to become animagi, and that was something that used nonverbal and wandless spells, plus potions and a lot of preparation.

Lily Evans did not know that.

“They are,” he admitted, “but does not mean we all learn it at the same pace.” he admitted as much, as he could not admit trying to become an animagi.

“You already know how to do nonverbal magic?” Lily said impressed, even when she tried to get ahead on her studies to not be the only clueless muggleborn in the school, yet no matter how far she went it seemed that she was always behind.

Sirius just nodded for a reply, he did not want to reveal much, not every pureblood decided to practise ahead, even if you had the advantage of doing magic at home while others might not. He tried changing tactics, because otherwise it sounded like bragging, “Your mate James can also use it.” he teased a bit, hoping they could move forward from the reason why he knew certain things.

“He does?” Lily asked, turning to look in James’ direction. Like an invisible force would not allow her mind to think in anything else other than James for more than 5 minutes. 

At the other end of the class Severus and James were moving, almost mirroring each other. Severus was trying to disarm James, while James defended himself and also tried to disarm Severus. It was like a  mesmerising dance, where you could not help to get invested, as both wizards were skilled and their movements were fluid. You could not catch one spell when the other was already being casted. 

“Seems like Snape also knows a thing or two.” Sirius admitted. In reality Sirius didn’t think Snape was an idiot because of his ability to learn, it was on what he chose to learn and who he associated with, but that didn’t have anything to do with that particular class. 

Watching the two wizards fight made Lily feel something, and not, it was not whatever was feeling for James, but a kind of envy. Severus seemed always so knowledgeable and taught Lily many things, but she also realised that he was hiding much more than his hate for the people of her kind. She felt him patronising her for what felt like the millionth time, and he was not even talking to her!

“Sirius, we can’t let them win.” Lily was determined, he could not let Snape win, nor James, even if he was a bit better than before, his ego was big enough. “I want those 100 for us, not Gryffindor, us.”

Sirius laughed at Lily’s determination, not mockinly but amused that seeing two people duel ignited in her the need to win and be better, that was exactly the Lily he liked to see. “Let’s do this, Red, we’ll wipe the floor with them.” and with that they set up to work. 

Learning how to master the nonverbal spells took longer than she wanted. Sirius was a great partner, he was supportive but he did not take it easy, he was driven and he did not let her slack in any sense, yet he understood that she was starting in a path he already mastered. 

By the end of the class Lily was almost able to wiggle Sirius’ wand without saying the word, but the spell was not as strong as it should be. Sirius could have let her take his wand easier, but that would not do her any good, she needed to actually master the technique. 

“That was progress, Red, I could feel you almost pulling it that last time. Some people could not even get to do it on their first attempt.” Sirius praised her as they gathered their things.

“Not good enough, I want to be able to do it by next class.” Lily had decided that she did not want to feel left behind, that Severus had some sort of advantage over her, she hated to feel like that, she justified it all her life due to him having a witch for a mother, but not anymore. “Do you mind meeting a couple of times before the next class to practise?” she hoped he wouldn't, but she knew that he might not like to do this, after all he was already bored with the lesson.

What didn’t Lily expect was Sirius liking that passion of her, determined to do better and to take no for an answer. Lily was far from dim, Sirius knew as much, but this new facet of her intrigued him as much as he liked it. 

“You’ve got it.” He smiled at her, “We can figure a schedule later, now if you don’t mind I’m famished and supper is calling my name.” he winked at her and left to join his friends. 

Their first Defence had been a Thursday, that meant that their next one would be a Tuesday, they had 4 days to get this sorted and Lily was going to take advantage of it. On Friday Sirius appeared in the empty classroom as promised, they talked for a bit and then started practising. Sirius kept encouraging her but it seemed that no matter what she did not manage to get the spell right. 

They tried again on Saturday, and it was not for Lily’s lack of enthusiasm and hard work, or Sirius’ will to help her and explain. The results were the same, she did not budge Sirius’ wand from his hand, and she was getting frustrated with the whole situation.

“You are thinking too hard about this, tensing up won’t make your wand respond like you wish to.” Sirius had offered as advice before they went their separate ways; she needed to relax but she could not do so, which frustrated her even more.

Lily tried not to think about it, she tried to go about her day as usual, and just focus on the spell once she met Sirius. She arrived at their usual empty classroom and sat on top of the teacher’s desk as she waited for her partner to arrive, and while she did so she thought about the class and how it seemed that she was the only one that could not master the technique. 

Sirius was usually very punctual, but Lily noticed that it was 10 minutes past their meeting hour and she got worried. Did he grow tired of teaching her? Wouldn’t he tell her that they were done and they would not continue the tutoring? She thought Sirius’ would, but they were not exactly closed. 

Lily was about to give up on waiting and just go back to her dorm, maybe ask one of her dorm mates to help, when the door cracked open.

The person at the other side of the door was not Sirius Black, he was almost as tall as Sirius, and had jet black hair, but it looked like swept by the wind. His eyes were not grey, but hazle, and there was a small blush around his cheeks as he entered the room. “Evans?” he called before opening the door completely, his expression apologetic, “I’m so glad you are still here, Sirius told me he promised to help you out, but he also promised Remus.” James excused his friend, “Remus is abysmal at potions and Sirius is the best we’ve got.” he admitted, “Sirius sent me to help you, said you needed help with Defence?”

Sirius was a dead man walking. Lily had decided there and then, because he somehow knew and still sent James Potter to help her, when she was trying to defeat his big head and Severus. No matter how much wandless magic the Black heir knew, Lily would kill him.

“Evans?” James’ voice was soft, hoping that he did not come out as a git, he already had done so in previous years and after talking to his mum he thought he could do better. 

“Uhm, yeah?” she replied, looking at him, not knowing he needed an answer to anything.

“I’ve asked if you don’t mind me helping you instead.” James' eyes seemed almost pleading, she remembered him asking her out, but last time it felt like a dare, this time his plea seemed different.

Lily shook her head and moved down from the desk, “Not at all, but you are teaching me to beat you.” she warned him as she stepped to the place of the classroom without furniture.

“Is that so?” James asked amused, taking his cloak off, preparing himself for a session of spell practice.

“Yes, I’m taking those 100 points.” Lily smiled, daring him to question her drive and her capacity to do so, positioning herself a few feet from him, wand in hand.

James chuckled and shrugged. “I won’t give up that easily.” he replied, not belittling her but actually taking her seriously. She was not sure when was the last time she had a study partner that took her as seriously as Sirius and James had done so. Maybe Mary and Remus, but she usually studied with Severus, trying to spend time outside of the classrooms. “Come on, Evans, show me what you’ve got.” he dared her, and she complied.

Lily had tried with all her might to disarm James, as she had done with Sirius. She was willing the spell out of her, thinking it loud enough, but the wand in James’ hand did not move from there. 

Once more, she moved her wand in a spiral, as the spell required. It was a clear motion, maybe a small one, but you could see her trying to cast that spell with all her might. And once more James’ wand did not move.

James moved from his defence stance to a normal one, and looked at Lily. They had been going at it for a while and there was no progress, which made Lily almost want to cry of frustration, but she couldn’t, not in front of Potter, maybe when she went back to her bed. 

“You are giving up on me, aren’t you?” she said softly, putting her wand away.

“What?! No!” James shook his head and approached her, trying to comfort her in some way, but James Potter was clueless in comforting girls, much less Lily Evans. “I was not, I promise.” he said sincerely hoping she would see that it was true, that his words were not empty. “I was just wondering what is going through your head when you try to do the spell.” James explained looking at her, waiting for an answer.

Lily looked at him, and furrowed her brow trying to think. Her hands moved again, her wand making a smaller spiral motion as she closed her eyes for a second trying to focus on what she usually did when trying to disarm James, and not in his cologne, or how close to her he seemed to be. After a few moments she opened her green eyes and looked at his. “Just the spell, nothing much, I also think of the word, as the Professor explained.”

James nodded understandingly, and moved backwards again. “I think that’s the problem, you are thinking of a word, but not what the spell does. Remember when Flitwick was teaching us the levitating spell?” he asked, excited that he thought he figured out what was wrong with Lily’s technique.

It took the smaller witch a moment to get it but then it hit her, “Imagine where you want the feather to go,” she replied, getting to what James was saying.

“Exactly!” he beamed at her, “So we need you to remember how the spell feels. I want you to try to disarm me, like normal, forget about this being nonverbal, do it a few times, until the word loses meaning, but pay attention to everything else. How does the spell feel, how your wand pulls, how the magic flows.” he explained, going back to his defensive position, waiting for her to take the lead. 

Lily nodded at his instructions, they seemed mad, but at this point she was willing to try anything as long as she was able to learn this. 

“Expelliarmus!”

Her body moved as usual, she remembered how she used to feel the wand pull, because the word helped her to make it come to her. But when they took the word away all she could think was of the aid of said word and not what it was supposed to do. She repeated the spell a few more times, sweat going down her forehead as the wand in James’ hand moved but it was not enough to move it, but the smile on James’ face grew with each attempt, Lily might have not made it yet, but she was getting close with each cast.

Eventually James’ wand flew from his hand, and a victorious Lily smiled at him. It felt like a simple spell but it had taken so much effort she was not sure what had changed. 

“Now give it back, and remember that feeling.” James instructed and she followed his instructions, as it seemed it was doing something more than whatever her and Sirius were doing previously. 

They were back at their places, Lily preparing to attack, James preparing to defend. And Lily moved her wand again, this time not repeating the spell in her head, but pushing towards what she wanted, James’ wand, which was moving more than the previous attempts. 

It took him a couple more times, Lily was beginning to lose faith once more, but then, when she least expected it, James’ wand was flying towards her, and all she could do was catch it and laugh.

“Yes! I did it!” she celebrated, moving closer to James, giving him his wand, “Thank you!” she said excitedly and bounced in her place before turning and giving James a hug. Getting the spell had felt so amazing, like a barrier had been lifted and now she could do more than she ever imagined, but it took her mind a bit to catch up on what her body was doing. 

She was hugging James Potter. 

James, who had been a git up until now, who was always bragging on how amazing he was and it was to be a Gryffindor, who had also helped Mary when Mulciber had attacked her. Who stopped hexing younger students for the fun of it, and started fighting the injustices he saw. And who made her feel confused, exasperated and elated, all at the same time.

She could feel James’ arms around her, and asked herself when they had become so toned, because he was a lanky 14 year old boy not so long ago. She wondered when he had gotten so tall, and when did his jaw became so pronounced that she could see him clench it a bit before speaking? 

He was trying to be so careful of not breaking whatever was happening that it took Lily a second to understand that he was speaking again. “I knew you could do it, Evans.” he smiled at her once more, and she unwrapped her arms from his neck, feeling awkward to have hugged him so suddenly. 

“Thank you, you were the one that broke the code.” she admitted, smiling back at him, trying not to blush.

“You did all the work, it took you less time than me to get it working.” he conceded, “So technically, you’ve won.” He was joking, she knew that much, but he was not mocking her and her effort, just her competitive vein, a tad bit. 

“I have.” she replied proudly, but not because of managing a spell (even when it felt amazing) but she had finally understood what she was feeling for James Potter, and that was a win on its own.

[riya-kaur]

luke robert hemmings.

cw! mentions of puking and feeling unwell

summary: you had been feeling unwell for a couple of days now. with luke being concerned he called the boys and told them he couldn't make it into the studio today so he could take the day to stay beside you and take care of you.

take care.

it was early hours in the morning, the sun hardly up from its slumber.

your hands grabbed your stomach as you woke up with a sharp pain to your abdomen. "fuck" you muttered as you sprinted to the bathroom, still holding your stomach. you knelt down beside the toilet as you bring up the contents of your stomach.

the sourness in your mouth, making you retch from the taste as you hovered over the bowl.

"i'm so sorry, sweet." you feel your boyfriend's hand rest on the small of your back, rubbing your back in an up and down motion.

you open your mouth to speak, but before you know it, you're leaning into the bowl again. you feel luke gather your hair and put it up in a ponytail. "t-thanks" you finally say as he leans your back against his chest.

you feel his arms travel around you waist as he puts his head on your shoulder. "how're you feeling sweet?" he asks, watching you as you nuzzle yourself further into his embrace.

"i hate this, lu" you sniffle as you turn your head into his chest, letting your tears soak into his bare chest. "i'm sorry, my love" he frowns before placing a kiss on your head.

"no, i'm sorry- you have work later on and i woke you up. you should head back to sleep" you sniffle once again as you pull yourself away from your boyfriend. "don't be silly, i wanna take care of you y/n, let me, okay?" he reassures, pulling you back into his embrace.

"ïm gonna go downstairs and get you some medicine and water, then we can try head back to sleep for a few hours, is that okay?" he asks, and you nod.

luke helps lift you up and guides you back into the bedroom, settling you into the bed. "i'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" he informs you and you respond with a nod before pulling the covers over your body.

you hear luke jog downstairs before he makes his way into the kitchen, opening and closing the kitchen cabinets. true to his word, after a few minutes, you hear him walking back up the stairs. this time, he walks in with a tall glass of water and some pills in his hand.

you've got a visitor" Iuke announces, nodding his head to the side. you peek over to luke's side seeing petunia walking over as she wags her tail left to right.

"hey baby girl" you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "go to momma, 'tunia." luke coos at the bulldog before handing you the water and pills. "thank you, lu," you give him a weak smile before placing the pills in your mouth, which you swallowed down with half the glass of water.

you then feel petunia jump onto the end of the bed. waddling her way over to you, you quickly set your glass on your nightstand before directing your attention to the pup.

luke had now made his way around the bed, now on his side of the bed, before slipping under the duvet.

luke cuddles into your side, letting one hand pet the pup in front of you. "if you don't want to sleep, let me know, okay?" he mumbles against your shoulder. "no, sleeping might do me somne good" you mutter as you turn to look at the blonde. luke hums before gently pulling you down, beside him.

"c'mere" he whispers as he lays you right next to him. he wraps his arms around you before placing a kiss on your head. "goodnight sweet" he mumbles against your neck. "goodnight lu"

hours had ticked by, and you hadn't slept a wink. you were tossing and turning in discomfort and pain.

you were settled on your back, staring at the ceiling whilst your hands were busy massaging the pup beside you.

you jumped slightly when you heard luke's alarm fill the room. you hear luke groan as he goes to turn it off. "morning baby" he says in his croaky morning voice. "morning" you say as you fake a smile, trying to hide the pain you're in.

''when did you wake up" he asks, rubbing his eyes open. "i'm not too sure" you lie, your voice hinting with hesitation. "have you been asleep at all?" your boyfriend asks, as he sits up on the bed.

you shake your head to the side, "i'm sorry, i just couldn't, it's hurts lu, too much" you say as your eyes become glossy. "aw baby" he coos as he lifts you up and pulls you into his lap. ''you should have a woke me up" he says as he strokes the locks of your hair that laid on over your shoulder.

"you've got work today. i didn't want to disturb you" you whimper as you hide your face into his chest. "baby, you still should've woken me up," he whispers before placing a kiss on your hair. "sorry lu" you sniffle against his chest.

you stay in luke's embrace for a short amount of time before he excuses himself to answer his phone, which was ringing from an incoming call.

you hear luke walking out of the bedroom before you hear the muffled voices from him and the person on the phone.

you turn your attention to the pup, who laid beside you. you placed kisses on her head and nose before you see luke enter back into the bedroom.

"you okay?" you ask, looking up at the blonde. luke nods before gesturing petunia to move. he sits where she once laid, which was in front of you. he takes your hand in his, "what'd you want for breakfast, love?" he asks as he plays with your fingers. "nothing, 'm not hungry'' you mumble as you lean forward to lean on his chest.

"sweet, you have to eat. i'll make anything you want," Iuke offers. "avocado on toast," you say, looking up at luke. he places a kiss on your nose, "perfect, i'll go make it" he says.

he scoops you up into his arms and begins to make his way downstairs, petunia following behind him.

he sets you on the couch before placing a blanket over you. "i'll go make your breakfast," he smiles, placing a kiss to your head.

you watch as he makes his way to the kitchen, "Iu" you exclaim before letting a string of coughs follow suit. "yes, love?" he asks, shouting from the kitchen.

"don't you have to go to the studio today?" you ask, sniffling. you hear luke walking back to where you laid. "i told the boys i couldn't make it today, told them how you're feeling," he says, hovering over you from behind the couch.

"lu, no, you should go. i'll be fine, honestly, " you say, the sound of your voice coming out quiet and soft. unable to contain it, you let out another string of coughs. "no y/n, i need to be here with you and help you get better," he states.

"i'm sorry, lu" you say letting your head fall back, looking into his eyes. he shakes his head before placing a kiss on your lips upside down. he places his hand around your neck, helping you to keep your balance as your head is tilted back.

you pull away quickly after, "you shouldn't kiss me, we don't wanna risk you getting sick as well" you say, looking back at luke. luke hums, "i don't care, baby" he says before placing a quick peck to your lips again. "Iu" you hummed, shaking your head.

luke simply gives you wink before standing up straight, from leaning over the couch. "i'm gonna head out to get some avocado, okay, will you be okay for ten minutes?" he asks. you nod, "just don't be long, or i'll miss you too much" you say with a pout on your lips. luke giggles, "you won't even notice i'm gone, love"

"i noticed you were gone" you whine as you hear your boyfriend kick his shoes off, beside the front door.

"sorry sweet, the line was so long" he says, walking over to you, with a bag of groceries. "i got you something," he smiles before placing a kiss on your forehead. you watched as he kneeled down in front of you, bringing the hand that was behind his back in front of you, showing off the bouquet of flowers he was holding.

"oh my- lu! thank you baby!" you exclaim, holding the flowers and breathing in their scent. you're welcome, my love,' he giggles. "here, i'll go put them in water, luke says. you pass him the flowers back. "thank you, baby, that was so sweet," you smile. "you're welcome, sweet."

luke heads back into the kitchen, putting the flowers in a vase and setting it on the coffee table. he then turns his attention back to making breakfast for the two of you.

"shit" you muttered as you made your way back into the bathroom, kneeling down beside the toilet, emptying your stomach once again.

minutes had passed, you had assumed that the breakfast was nearly ready as you heard luke fry an egg for his avocado on toast. the smell from frying the egg came across strong, making your stomach turn.

you felt tears roll down your cheek as you felt a burn to your throat.

"fuck, are you okay?" you hear luke exclaim. you nod your head before tucking your knees to your chest, resting your head on your knees.

"i"m so sorry lu" you choke as the tears fall down to your cheeks. "don't apologize, he hums as he wraps his arms around you, swaying you in his arms. "you're gonna be okay y/n" he reassures.

after luke consoled you, the two of you made your way back into the living room, where you both sat and ate your breakfast. you struggled eating at first, but luke encouraged you to at least try and eat.

"okay, what'd you wanna do sweet?" he asks, coming back into the living room from putting the dishes in the kitchen.

"wanna watch the prisoner of azkaban?" you grin, batting your eyelashes. "how can i say no" he smiles.

you put the movie on whilst luke sets himself in between your legs, placing his head on your stomach whilst his arms wrapped around your legs.

"ready?" you ask before clicking play on the movie. the blonde hums as he turns to look at the tv.

it was nearly the end of the movie, and during the movie, your boyfriend couldn't help but notice how highly you speak about a certain character. "he's definitely your favourite character, isn't he?" luke says. "duh" you say playfully, rolling your eyes. "okay, but seriously, lu, can you blame me. i mean, just look at him!" you squeal. luke looks up at you, his head still on your stomach. he plasters a fake frown on his lips whilst making his eyes glossy, "but he doesn't compare to you baby." you giggle as you see the blonde's frown turn into a gleaming smirk.

"i know, i'm definitely better looking than sirius black," he smirks, leaning up to place a kiss on your lips, but you quickly turn your head. "i don't want you to get sick, lu," you inform him. "i won't, and even if i do, i don't mind. i just wanna kiss you, love," he says, knitting his brows together, "please, " he adds.

"c'mere" you say, shaking your head. "thank you sweet" he says, leaning up to place a soft and slow kiss on your lips. he let's his lips linger on yours before he settles his head back onto your stomach, "i love you y/n", he smiles softly, glancing up at you, "i love you lu" you smile back.

"she's gonna pick me!" you exclaim as you take a seat on the floor. you watch luke set your phone up across the room. "no, she's a hundred percent a daddy's girl" luke confirms.

the two of you had decided to try out a tiktok trend to see who petunia would go to. we told her to sit on the opposite side of the room as we sat on the other side of the room.

luke came and sat beside you, leaving plenty of room between the two of you. he had set the ten second timer on tiktok, and once it hit one second left, the two of you called petunia over.

you watch her waddling her way over to the two of you before she stops in the middle, looking between both you and luke.

"come on, baby," you exclaim, "come on, tunia." luke squeals. you watch her look over at luke before she comes running into your arms.

you let her lick your face whilst you exclaimed in excitemnent, "i wanna do it again!" you hear your boyfriend say, "luke she chose me, that means she likes me better." you giggle as you stick your tongue out at the blonde. "please, just one more go?" he asks, "fine" you say, giving in.

you set petunia back into the spot she sat in before, you and luke then sitting back into your seats.

once again, once the timer hit one, you both called her over. she came running up to you before luke called her over. once she set her eyes on luke, she sprinted over to him. "ha" luke exclaims. "now we're even," you smile, standing up to grab your phone, which recorded the video.

you take a seat on the couch, watching the video back. luke had now made his way beside you, snuggling into your side.

''oh my gosh- luke, you cheated!" you exclaimed as you look at the boy, "did not!" he says, lifting his head up from your shoulder. ''what's this?" you say as you showed him a scene from the video.

it was the part where luke had called her over when she stood in front of me, luke had shown her a treat, hence why she went running over to him.

"she likes you better than me" luke frowns. "what can i say, i'm just the best" you giggle. luke hums, "that you are" he says, pulling you in for a kiss.

you let your hands cup his cheeks once he deepened the kiss with his tongue. he hums against your lips as he pulls you on top of him, a smirk growing on his lips as he squeezed your leg.

the two of you were interrupted by the doorbell ringing, "fucking great" luke mumbles against your lips. you giggle as you roll off his laps. luke stands up, making his way to the front door.

"we come bearing gifts!" you hear a familiar voice say from the door, along with a few other muffled voices.

you peek your head up, wanting to see who it was. "hey crys," you hear luke say. "crystal!" you exclaim before you see her running up to you. she hovers over you before giving you a tight hug.

"how are you feeling, babe?" she asks. "wasn't feeling too good this morning, but luke's been great at taking care of me" you say, giving a smile to your boyfriend.

luke hovers over you from behind, placing a kiss on your head. you look behind luke to see michael, ashton, and calum. "hey guys," you smile at the other three, giving them a small hug.

they greeted you back before wishing you a speedy recovery.

the six of you all took seats on the couch, whilst you all caught up.

you, luke, and crystal were on one couch whilst calum, ashton, and michael were on the other couch.

''we bought you some gifts" michael says, handing a basket to you. "you shouldn't have" you express, "but thank you, i appreciate it, guys." you smile before opening the basket.

''my favourite!" you squeal as you take out the packet of party size crispy m&ms out. "i call dibs on half," luke announces, you shake your head at the boy, "nope, these are all mine, baby" you grin.

"but you can definitely help me use up all these," you say as you take out a box full of face masks, lip masks, and under eye masks

"yeah, definitely not, babe,"

a/n: this a repost of the sickfic i did.

also send in your requests, guys! ♡

[ringmaster-midori]

At The Tipsy Capybara Tavern in Willowside, Demetrius the tavernkeep tended to a stewpot of horse-bone stew supplemented with some local weeds that had been growing inside the town's defense wall. He sighed and shook his head as he finally gave in and added finely minced leather from some old belts for added protein. "This food shortage is killing us," he lamented to himself, "literally!"

The mayor's advisors and aides hunched over one of the tables, updating maps and notes with the latest information regarding the xulgath siege. One young man looked up hopefully as the leathery smell from the stewpot filled the common room, but hope gave way to culinary despair, and he returned to his papers, clutching at his grumbling belly.

The front door opened, letting Midori inside. Her once-red fur had been drained of its color, leaving it snowy white save for the dark circles around her eyes. Her cloak and scout gear had splatters of blood and dirt but otherwise remained undamaged.

Weak shouts of "Midori!" came from the mayor's people.

Demetrius eagerly shot out, "Didja bring back any meat this time? Any food at all?"

Midori shook her head. "No, not this time, sorry. At the dino corrals, the tyrannosauruses ended up eatin' the brontosauruses, so we had to cheese it outta there amid all the chaos. An' at the gug huts...well, nobody should be eatin' ghoul meat...an' we let the gugs escape to go back underground to the Darklands."

Petunia Sunnyridge, one of the mayor's aides, snapped, "Aren't you finished out there yet? The mayor is not pleased with the speed with which you are handling your tasks!"

"Look, Petunia," Midori, her patience wearing thin, shot back at the middle-aged halfling woman, "we just need to clear out the last corral or whatever full o' demon dinosaurs an' xulgaths, then we're comin' back to rest up for the night an' replenish our spells so we'll be prepared for the assault on the massed xulgath army out there. One more day! Give us a break, gods damn it!"

The kitsune sighed and turned to the tavernkeep. "Any booze left?"

Demetrius shook his head. "Nope. I had to add the last of it into the stewpot for the calories. Our reserves are bone-dry. Can I get you a bowl of stew?"

Midori sniffed the air and grimaced. "Hard pass. Save it for the townsfolk."

The blonde halfling interrupted, "Booze? Drinking instead of fighting? Get back out there! Lives are at stake!"

Midori rounded on her, "Hakuna your tatas, lady! I'm here to talk to somebody I met who's willin' to help us all out with the siege. Cayden H. Cailean in a chicken basket! Have some patience! She should be showin' up here any minute now."

@chainxdancer

[your-nanas-house]

people (me) needs more one shots of neil lewis and raymond leon to stay alive. Anything will be received with total appreciation n.n

For real! Such good characters, love them so much 🍓

In my neighbour's pool

◇ Pairing: Neil Lewis X gn!reader

◇ Warnings: smut, handjob, friends to lovers kind of, illegality, hate

◇ Summary: You're fed up with your neighbor and Neil knows it, so he makes a plan to get back at them and spend the evening with you.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English.

It was a summer evening, it was hot and your best friend Neil had come to your house to tell you about his day.

He often came to visit you to steal things from your fridge and complain about his love life and the terrible orgasms he could only have while watching porn or sometimes movies.

You didnt mind most of the time, you loved Neil even though he could be quite nerdy and boring sometimes but you appreciate his company— not that evening though.

Your usual focus on him wasnt there, your eyes were glued on the house of your neighbour as you sipped your coke.

"Has Mrs. Bailey still bothered you?" Neil's voice interrupted your thoughts of hate and annoyance; he noticed that you werent actually listen to him since you were doing that humming and short replies that you always did when you werent really following something.

"Yeah, she's been a pain the the ass again. I swear I cant take it anymore, that lady needs to take some calming meds—" you scoffed, gritting slightly your teeth as you remembered what happened that morning

"She even got a fucking new pool in her backyard—" you murmured in anger, glancing at Neil when you noticed the silence.

His light blue eyes were focused on the house as well, his hands on his hip as he thought almost posing

"Why dont we go use that pool of hers? We could do something to take reveage" he suggested before listing options that he saw in a few recent movies he saw at the shop with his coworkers.

You honestly didn't mind the idea but you didn't want to cross the line too much, as not to get in too much troubles. If he would have suggested that a few weeks earlier you wouldn't have agreed but now that you were still extremely pissed at her, you went along with Neil.

Thats how you found yourself in the warm water of your neighbour's pool, wearing your swimsuit just like Neil, your hand stuck in his as you lowered it to free his hard cock.

His tongue kept exploring your mouth as your hand explored his length, squeezing his heavy balls to earn a whimper from his pretty swollen lips.

"You are pretty long, man" you murmured, kissing and nibbling at the tender skin of his neck, focusing on his adam's apple

"And-so-fucking-hard" your murmured as you stroked his cock a few times, taking a small pause at every word.

Neil's face was covered of a soft blush, his eyes were rolling back as his hips kept moving forewards, meeting your movements to fuck your hand faster— he was nearly meowing, letting soft moans and whimpers leave his mouth.

You could feel that he was getting closer and closer to his peak, his muscles flexing against your body, which was pressed against his, his cock throbbing and twitching at every movement of your skilled hand.

Neil came hard, letting out a meowing noise before catching his breath, his icy blue eyes now back open and focused on you

"Fuck that was—" he murmured, ready to praise your hidden skills and kiss you when a noise interrupted the both of you.

A shiver run down your spine when your neighbour walked out in her backyard, holding a bowl of milk and another one with cat's food

"Petunia, my lovely kitty, is that you? Mommy had your food—" the old annoying lady asked, making you hold back a laugh as you fixes quickly Neil's swim trucks— leading him quickly away from there as soon as you realized that the woman had probably heard your best friend's pathetic moans, mistaking them for the whining of one of her 8 cats.

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @wife-of-magic-monkeys , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter

[object-vault-9]

Creator, do you remember the names of the characters before they were named after objects?

Firefly Petunia was Valentino, I don't remember why I changed their name since I keep non-warriors names. I think when he joined I was still just renaming everything Gameboy was Nintendo Shale was Ficklepaw Apricot was Aphidkit Milkweed was Milkweedkit Divelight was Wetflash Triangle was Feathertoe Dianthus was Cometdrop Cactus was Poki (I renamed her to Cactus on accident, her being a cactus and being named Poki was 100% intentional) Bowling Pin was Obi Wan (Changed since canon name) Spade was Mudstar Shovel was Amberfur Downy Feather was Flaxfeather Exit was Juniperhorn Timer was Fallenbeetle EMF Meter was Pod Thrift Handheld Radio was Wasp Blue Spruce was Ice Stalk Tea Cup was Rimerustle Splinter, Call of Greatness, Bustopher Jones, Benny, Rufus, Lake, Alpine, and Worm just have their original names Roadflare, Pushpin, Red Ball, Cornerstone, Uranium Glass and Car Key I can't find nor remember Two characters who show up later on are Dasiyecho and Ficklepaw again Characters not listed here were created out of the game and aren't here mechanically. Unless I somehow forgot a vault 9 fella which is very possible

Though the (clangen) versions of the encounters with factions, and with Fox Tail and Bug Spray often happened in game through events Most of these characters I renamed for the "normal warriors" AU anyway, but Spade is still Mudstar there too

[hemmohaze]

The One Where They’re Quarantined Together

June 2020

Gabriella’s been living with Luke since Los Angeles issued a shelter in place order for the entire state so he suggested instead of her commuting from Orange County from her apartment to his house everyday, just move her stuff in.

101 Dalmatians was playing as background noise for Petunia and her new cocker spaniel she adopted through a friend of Crystal. She named her Rowan. The two dogs immediately getting along the minute she brought her home.

Gabriella got up from their bed and slipped her feet in her fuzzy slippers, her feet muffling any sound as she made her way down the kitchen and making a pineapple açaí bowl she's been craving for the past 2 hours. She heard four sets of paws running towards her as she hit her leg and gave her best puppy eyes.

"You want some pineapple girlies?" She baby talked them. Their tails wagging back and forth.

Gabriella threw three individual slices of the fruit on the floor as Petunia and Rowan ate it and Petunia waddled to the couch while Rowan played with her turtle chew toy.

She heard the noise of a guitar and faint singing coming from the basement. Figuring she hasn't seen Luke in a while, she made him a glass of iced water. Whenever he’s writing music time isn’t a thing to him.

She trotted downstairs trying to muffle the sound her steps as she reached the dimly lit room, The Mac book being the only source of light in the space.

She knew about his life on the road from such a young age. He was constantly on the go and this is the first time in 5 years he's had a chance to sit back and relax. Except that's the farthest thing he was doing. Standing in the doorway he doesn’t even acknowledge her presence, way too focused on the guitar sitting on his lap and the voice memo he’s recording.

Gabriella likes to sit in the room with him sometimes whenever he's been writing and to give him some ideas or just company. It makes her feel peaceful and relaxed listening to his voice. He’s so creative and that’s something she admired about him.

She walked up to him and placed her chin on his broad shoulder. "Hey."

He turned around and looked at her, already smiling at her. "Hi."

"I got you some water." She stated as she put the glass down.

He rubbed his eyes and silently thanked her with a kiss on the lips and gesturing for her to take a seat next him.

She took a seat on the couch in the corner of the room being careful to not trip on any stray wires to sit next to him. Laying her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her back, fingertips brushing against her exposed spine.

“You okay baby? That sounds a little too sad? Even for you.” She asked concerned.

He smiles somberly and almost looked amused. “It’s not meant to sound that sad to be completely honest with you. It’s more of a look into how seventeen year old me felt as a teenager at the time y’know thick into the music industry. I have most of the lyrics but now I needed a guitar riff for it.” He explained.

“Can I hear the full song or whatever you have?” Bianca asked softly looking at him with pleading eyes.

“Course you can baby.” He smiled at her, picking up the blue guitar.

"All this running in motion time slips by till you’re lost in your mind,” He starts until he gets to the end of what he has. Looking up from his guitar he sees faint tears in his girlfriend’s eyes, making him concerned.

“What’s wrong?? Do you not like it.” He quickly asked.

"It's so beautifully sad Lu." She laughed through a sob.

"So these are happy tears right??" He questioned unsurely.

She nodded and threw her head back in laughter.

"But 3 days from now is CALM release day! Aren’t you so excited! " She shook his shoulders excitedly.

“I’m gonna be severely underwhelmed.” He joked making Gabriella slap his chest.

“You little shit.”

——————

Gabriella took the album release very seriously around the house as she bought a cake from Publix and noise makers in the color scheme of the album. She also delivered the noise makers to the other boys front porch’s and a little care package for them since they definitely all won’t be able to hang out as a group for a while.

She decided to be a good girlfriend and make celebratory waffles for all of the bands hard work that finally paid off. On her mind was also a celebratory blowjob for Luke, but he didn't need to know all her plans

Luke smelled waffles and groaned slightly as he pushed Petunia off his leg as she looked at him with a face that read 'I wanna murder you'

He slid on a t shirt and walked downstairs to see Gabriella listening to 'Vapor' as she cleaned the kitchen up in nothing but an oversized sweatshirt and some purple lace panties.

"I want to breathe you in like a vapor I want to be the one you remember." She sung to Rowan in her arms.

"Really? You couldn't have picked something from Youngblood to sing to her. At least thats two years instead of 5.” He laughed at her swaying the puppy who yipped at Luke to get his attention.

"Sounds Good Feels Good was the reason I became a fan so this album is special to me. Plus I went to Sounds Live Feels Live in LA with my best friend and that’s when I fell in love with you so don’t even." She defended.

“Whatever makes you happy.”

“Your voice is a blessing her puppy ears to the pop punk goodness that is Sounds Good Feels Good. I don’t think you should be treating me like this whenever I woke up extra early and made you waffles.” She pushed the plate towards him and a cup of coffee.

———

The band took shifts over their instagram live later that evening. First it was Ash by himself on an iPad, might add. Then Micheal and Calum, yet Micheal’s phone died before he could talk about Best Years. Now it was Luke’s turn.

Gabriella sat curled in a fluffy blanket on their shared bed rewatching Vampire Diaries while Luke attempted to join Calum on his livestream. He finally got it to work after 2 minutes of Calum struggling.

“How old are you Cal? 90?” Gabriella joked as soon as Luke joined Calum, the two yelling in excitement of seeing each other.

“Did Ella just call me old?” Calum’s laughter rang through the phone.

“Sure did dude.”

Luke shook his head slightly, reading the comments of people calling his girlfriend funny and asking where she is.

“Lemme give the children what they want.” He sighed in fake annoyance turning the phone to Gabriella who waved her hand with a smile. “Hi you guys!”

“What are you drinking, wait lemme guess.” Calum asked as he saw Luke’s tequila cup when he turned the phone back around.

“Ahhh tewqulia.”

“We ran outta beer so second best option here.”

“Bit of naughty water.” Luke said in a weird english accent that made Gabriella chuckle slightly.

At some point during their segment they started talking about cake flavors instead of the album tracks.

“How do you not like red velvet cake??” Calum asked in pure confusion.

“Well, it’s not the fact I don’t like it. I mean- you don’t go to a birthday party and they sing happy birthday and then they cut the cake, you’re like ‘eh red velvet cant wait to eat this one.’

Sometime during that conversation Gabriella ended up falling asleep. Luke gathered Petunia and Rowan so they could go potty before they slept anywhere near their room or in Rowan’s case on the bed since she always finds some way to sleep on Gabriella.

“Ella.” He whispered shaking her shoulder slightly. “How did you fall asleep that fast?”

“The sound of your annoying voice lulled me to sleep.” She laughed slightly.

The two laid together later cuddled up watching some random rom com but it was mostly background noise as they were heavily making out. Gabriella pulled on his lap as he took in her appearance. Black ribbed tank top and some blue silk shorts she got in some sale at La Perla a couple years ago.

Luke pulled back slightly and leaned his forehead on hers. “I think I heard something about a blowjob earlier this morning. I think I deserve one now that the album’s officially out.”

“Hm maybe you do for all your late nights and hard work.”

She quietly tied her hair up before moving down and kissing his waistband of his shorts, inflecting a groan from him. She pulled his dick from his basketball shorts as her eyes widened in excitement. Nothing compared when she got to suck him off.

“Shit.” He cursed when he felt her tongue kitten lick his tip.

She spit in her hand and slowly jerked him off. She slipped him as far as she could go and jerked the rest she couldn’t in her freshly manicured hands.

“Your mouth is so good.” He groaned as she made a choking noise.

She knew he was close by the way he was basically whining for her mouth as she widened her green eyes more making her look innocent as ever as spit covered her chin.

“Fuck, open your mouth.” He quickly said.

She obeyed as she stuck out her tongue waiting for his release, she felt it coat her mouth and some on her chest. Gabriella stuck out her tounge proudly displaying nothing.

“Good girl.”

He pulled his shorts back up his legs and grabbed a tissue, cleaning his release up off her chest.

Her hair clung to her sweaty neck due to the heat of the room as she had a dazed out look in her eyes.

“You okay??” Luke questioned noticing her dazed and confused look.

She nodded and climbed on top of him and laid her head on his chest.

“Happy album release,” She smirked grabbing a yellow noise maker from the bedside table and blowing it into his ear making him flinch.

“Jesus Christ.”

[theicarusconstellation]

hi astra!! can i request a drabble for number 93, please? i don't mind if it is either jegulus or lilycissa 🫶

bella!! sorry this took so long lmao but here you go!!

prompt: “I tried, but I just can’t stay away from you anymore” // jegulus and background lilycissa // sfw // words: 1,286

They know much they risk by doing this. They know that putting themselves in this situation can ruin their lives more than they already have on their own. Lily has enough to worry about with Petunia’s upcoming wedding, a wedding which she had been promptly uninvited to after Petunia saw her in her bridesmaid’s dress and thought she looked prettier than her. Regulus has…a cult. Well, he has the broken remains of a former cult that has sent many lives into spirals, and it is now his responsibility to clean up the mess.

A mess Lily could end up wrapped up in if they continue on this path.

Still, this does not deter them.

“She usually stops by Honeydukes to pick up something for Draco at this hour,” Regulus says to Lily under his breath as they walk along the roads of Hogsmeade. His boots clunk against the cobbled streets, alerting anyone in their vicinity that they should hurry away now or risk losing an eye.

“Draco,” Lily whispers, the name wistful upon her lips. “He must be about three now.”

“He is.” Regulus nods his head in confirmation. Merlin, the last time Lily saw Draco was when he was just born, when Narcissa called her at an unholy hour and shattered her world.

“We can’t see one another anymore. I have a child now, Lily. I — we can’t do this.”

Regulus did not experience this firsthand, but he witnessed it through a Pensieve as Lily, too distraught to speak, dragged him through her memory of the endeavor.

Two days later, Regulus made a very similar phone call to one James Potter.

“We can’t see one another anymore. What I’m doing is dangerous, James. I — we can’t do this.”

But now, three years later, thanks to the work of Regulus and Lily, Voldemort is dead. Lucius Malfoy is in Azkaban. The world is safe again, and all is well.

Mostly.

Nearly.

Not at all.

There is still a gaping wound where Regulus’ heart used to be, a constriction where he used to be able to breathe. He still catches Lily crying and staring at old photographs, though she hides them as soon as she feels his eyes on her.

“Can you at least tell me what you’re doing that’s so dangerous? Can you give me that?”

“I…can’t.”

“You can’t, or you won’t?”

Regulus freezes in his tracks as the memory of The Phone Call comes racing back. Now is not the time to relive the worst decision of his life, yet his mind has apparently decided that the setting is perfect. He leans into Lily’s hand on his shoulder, trying to utilize the Muggle grounding techniques she taught him, but the closer they draw to Zonko’s and Honeydukes, the larger the pit of dread in his stomach grows.

“He misses you, Regulus,” Lily says gently. “He hasn’t been the same. Three years, and he hasn’t been the same. He hasn’t…if anyone so much as looks at him like they want to flirt with him, he snaps at them that he’s taken and proceeds to cry over you in the nearest bathroom.”

It’s the same words she’s told him twenty times before, but this time, they actually stick. Not because he believes them — Regulus thinks they’re pure bullshit. There is no way James Potter doesn’t have a family of four by now. If anyone could conjure up a family of four in the span of three years, it would be him. However, he knows that feeling. He knows the shame that comes with getting a suggestive glance from a stranger long after their relationship had supposedly “ended.” It gnaws at him until he’s keeled over a toilet bowl, vomiting up his guilt and grief.

“He’ll be leaving Zonko’s any minute,” Lily nudges, slightly more urgent now. In response to her words, Regulus strangles the sash of his satchel and draws his breath in a shaky inhale.

“I’m not ready for this.”

“Yes you are.”

She says it with such firmness that it’s startling.

“Go see him, Regulus. Go see James.”

Regulus shakes his head, then nods, then breaks through the ice around his joints and forces his legs to move.

He retains no memory of the walk to the joke shop. One moment, he is with Lily, the next, his neck is snapping up at the sound of the Zonko’s door bell, effectively announcing his presence to the entire shop.

Up at the checkout counter, a bag of Galleons slips out of a familiar hand and falls to the ground.

Regulus’ eyes follow the sound of tinkling coins against the wooden floorboards. They travel up to meet hazel irises behind circular glasses that he has dreamt of endlessly since The Phone Call three years ago.

Those eyes. Those tender eyes, so free of any resentment, so ready to hold him once again.

James’ eyes.

The cashier is saying something the other man doesn’t seem to register; Regulus doesn’t hear it either, not with the static in his ears that threatens to overtake his vision as well.

James — his James, his one and only James, the James he has missed every night for 1095 days — leaves the counter behind and steps toward him. Regulus backs up, not to get away but to lead them outside, and stumbles into the snow.

The door closes behind James, and the noise makes the both of them jump. The air around them is fragile, suspended, able to shatter at any moment.

“I tried,” Regulus croaks out. James waits, always so, so patient, for him to continue. “I tried so fucking hard, but I just can’t stay away from you anymore.”

James laughs, a great, big grin breaking out on his face, and it is the most beautiful sound Regulus has ever heard.

“Thank fuck,” the man whispers, his smile only continuing to grow. “I don’t know if I could have waited much longer before…before I chased after you myself.”

Regulus’ eyes widen, and he tentatively shuffles forward into James’ space.

“Waited?” His breath passes his parted lips in a cloud of cold.

“What, you think I didn’t wait for you? You think I didn’t spend every day hoping I’d get a phone call telling me you were finally ready? Regulus, I have never stopped waiting for you. Not for a moment,” James vows, closing the space between them to cup Regulus’ cheeks between his palms. As soon as they make contact, Regulus releases something between a whine and a whimper and replays James’ words over and over in his head.

He waited. Three years, 1095 days, and James waited for every single one of them.

Regulus closes his eyes and breathes deep, willing himself to bring what he wants to say to the surface. This moment is everything he has wished for, everything he has fantasized about, so perfect that it feels unreal. He cannot fuck it up; he has to get it right.

“You asked me that night if I could tell you what I had to do, and I said I couldn’t. When I said that, I meant it, but now…James, I can tell you everything, and I want to…if you’ll let me.” Good. This is good. This sounds good. Doesn’t it?

“I’ll let you,” James mumbles. His hand moves, and Regulus nearly loses his footing when James’ gentle fingers tuck his curls behind his ear. “Fuck, baby, I’ve missed you.” This last sentence is more of a groan, one that sends warmth rushing down Regulus’ spine.

Regulus can think of nothing in response other than to fall forward against James’ chest and wrap his arms around him, finally allowing himself to feel warmth.

Finally allowing himself to come home.

[totheidiot]

hitchhikers guide to the galaxy for the fandom ask:)

AAA 100% was hoping someone would ask for this fandom so so so let's go let's go

favorite male character : judging by my blog theme, it should be obvious... marvin the paranoid android, my beloved... i feel so deeply for his character, i think about him all of the time...

favorite female character : favorite character of the entire series, the one and only tricia marie macmillan. my only gripe ever with the series is how it handles trillian in particular. by far, she was the smartest person in the entire main cast. the curse of being a female character in classic science fiction series 😔😔😔😔

least favorite character : i have no idea about this... I enjoyed every character in the series very wholeheartedly. the main cast of arthur, ford, marvin, zaphod and trillian, all the other side characters.

favorite ship : forthur, of course, never misses. but surprisingly, I really like zaphod x trillian as well, they have so much potential and they are worth developing. if i ever wrote a ship!fic for h2g2 (specifying ship!fic, because i have particular moods where i feel like writing a gen marvin-centric fic and one of these days, i might just give in), i would wrote for them.

favorite friendship : though forthur is my favorite romantic ship, i like their friendship too much. they are one of those parings that are compelling in both a romantic and platonic context. alternatively, i also like zaphod's dynamic with literally anyone.

favorite quote : h2g2 has such BANGER quotes, i have to make a top 3 list for this question. three of my favorite quotes in no particular order:

the obligatory "the story so far: in the beginning the universe was created. this has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

"now the world has gone to bed / darkness won't engulf my head / i can see by infrared / how I hate the night. / now i lay me down to sleep / try to count electric sheep / sweet dream wishes you can keep / how i hate the night - marvin."

"there is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. there is another which states that this has already happened.

worst character death : MARVIN'S DEATH. IT AFFECTED ME IN A WAY NO WILL EVER UNDERSTAND. bro was not present the entire so long and thanks for all the fish book and in the LAST FEW CHAPTER HE SHOWS UP. ONLY TO DIE. it was so tragic to me, "i think i feel good about it" right after "we apologize for the inconvenience." if i think too much of his death, i will cry.

this made me so happy you have no idea moment : an odd scene to be happy about but that marvin lullaby scene in life, universe and everything. for a non-marvin option, another one of my favorite moments is the one at the end of the restaurant at the end of the universe where the scrabble pieces spell out "what do you get if you multiply six by nine"

saddest moment : marvin's death but also the whale and petunia scene. that scene with the sperm whale should not BE THAT SAD. this series is one of my favorites and i will remember a detail from it and i will be more at awe and more in love with these books. like the thought process of the bowl of petunias like "curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was oh no, not again. many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.” AND NOW THAT IN LIFE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING, WE KNOW THAT IT WAS ONE OF AGRAJAG'S REINCARNATIONS.

favorite location : i have got to be 100% honest... i do not understand the different locations in this series at all. like the whole deal with krikkit and milliways just went right over my head. just to answer this question, let's just go with magrathea because that's really important.

[shostakobitchh]

chapter 63 sneak peek!

To Ariel’s immense relief, the next several weeks passed without incident. 

She settled into what she began to consider her normal routine. Classes, Occlumency, trying not to think about the Mirror-Slytherin. Black hadn’t been spotted for nearly two months, leaving everyone feeling a bit lighter as the holidays quickly approached, and Ariel kept herself busy. 

Busier than anyone, of course, was Hermione. The little time Ariel did get with her was spent in the library after dinner, since she always seemed to disappear during the day. This left Ariel to wander aimlessly at times, since Ron had been spending more and more time down at the Quidditch pitch with Dean and Seamus. She’d overheard them talking one night about Ron trying out for the team next year, which had made her heart sink a bit. 

In the meantime, no Black meant that Ariel could venture out onto the grounds every once in a while to bring food to Snuffles, who was looking skinnier than ever these days. 

One blustery Friday afternoon, Ariel found Snuffles hiding beneath the rickety stairs to Hagrid’s hut. She usually came that way to get to the tree line that Snuffles seemed to patrol while Hagrid had class. Ariel always caught Snuffles pacing back and forth, which she didn’t know was strange for a dog to do or not. She figured she’d have to ask Hagrid, at some point, along with if he ever kept any spare meat handy for Fang that she could use. It was getting trickier to sneak food out of the Great Hall. 

“Easy,” Ariel warned Snuffles as she set down the napkin. 

She’d filled it with the shepherd’s pie they’d had the night earlier, managing to get her whole serving saved, somehow. She’d put a questionable Stasis charm on it before shrinking it down to hide inside her rucksack. 

Snuffles didn't need telling twice. With a needy whine, he launched forward, gulping down the food in greedy mouthfuls. Ariel watched, amused and a bit alarmed. She wondered if she should start to bring two servings from now on.

While Snuffles scarfed down the food, Ariel Transfigured a rock into a bowl, pouring a stream of water from her wand into it. He usually drank three or four bowls before he rested. Ariel reckoned he was trying to fill himself up before heading back into the Forest, though she wondered if he was just being a typical dog, always ready to eat and drink until bursting. Dudley had begged and begged for a dog once, and it might’ve been the only time Aunt Petunia had told him no. Couldn’t have a filthy mutt ruining her perfect white mausoleum  — although Aunt Marge’s dogs were fine, but that was a double standard Ariel could never understand. Ariel had secretly wished for a dog as well. Dudley would’ve gotten bored of it within three days, and then it would’ve become Ariel’s job to take care of it, which she would’ve done gladly. 

Aunt Petunia’s rules were just one of many things Ariel tried not to think about as she sat on the stone stairs outside Hagrid's hut, watching a large black dog attack a dish of shepherd's pie as though it was the last meal he’d ever get. 

Snuffles looked up and whined, bowing his head, as if he were saying sorry I’ve been ignoring you. Again — weird for a dog — but maybe not for a dog that lived in a magical forest.  

Ariel scratched behind his ears and sighed. “Me too, boy. It’s alright.” 

Snuffles wagged his tail and let out a soft, apologetic woof, which Ariel took as his acknowledgement, feeling a brief warmth bloom in her chest.

The wind picked up, bringing the smell of pine and damp earth. Ariel shivered and pulled her robes a little tighter around herself. She looked out towards the Forbidden Forest, its murky depths inviting and ominous all at once. She wouldn’t stay long — nothing would happen as long as Hagrid was in class, anyway. They were so close to the Forest that anything out of the ordinary would be hard to miss, and the Dementors had been banished beyond the gates. 

Ariel played fetch with Snuffles for a while after he finished eating. At first, Ariel thought Snuffles might’ve actually been a little slow. It hadn’t taken him a minute or two to figure out what she was doing, eyeing the stick with a quizzical tilt of his head, before he finally sprang into action. 

He grabbed the stick — albeit a bit clumsily — and brought it back to Ariel, dropping it at her feet with a proud wag of his tail. They continued until the late afternoon when the sun began to dip behind the tall spires of Hogwarts and a chill cast a shroud over the sprawling grounds. Ariel felt her stomach groan loudly, reminding her that dinner was not too far off, but she wasn't sure she wanted to return to the castle just yet.

He whined when she stood up, a sound that made her heart break. Ariel sat back down against the chilled stone of the stairs, absently letting her hand move in long strokes along Snuffles' glossy black fur. He rolled over onto his back, revealing an underbelly just as starved as Ariel had initially thought. A humorless smile pinched at her lips.

“I know, I don’t want to go back either,” Ariel murmured, and it was true. She would just go to dinner and pick at her food, watching Hermione mull over her mountains of work while Ron pretended to sit next to them, only to be pulled away by the boys moments later. 

It wouldn't help fill the lonely chasm that pulsed within her. She'd tried to explain it once, to Hermione — how she felt like a puzzle with a piece missing, but Hermione being Hermione, had tried to rationalize, tried to find solutions where there were none. It wasn't about logic or understanding, it was about feeling, and Ariel often felt like she was in a world entirely of her own despite being surrounded by people. 

Snuffles nudged Ariel's hand with his cold, wet nose. His tail thumped rhythmically against the stone steps, a gentle echo that reverberated on the wind. 

"You're a good listener," Ariel said with a weak smile. "I suppose because you can't talk back. I bet you’d have all sorts of opinions if you could, though.”

Snuffles whimpered softly in what seemed like understanding. There was a sad sort of sagaciousness in his eyes as he looked at Ariel, almost as if he knew exactly what she was talking about.

Suddenly, motion off in the distance caught Ariel’s attention. Snuffles took off like a bullet almost instantly. Ariel spun around, instinctively reaching for her wand, only to find Professor Lupin emerging from the treeline. His usually pale face was flushed from the winter cold. 

What was he doing in the Forest? Although he was the Defense professor, perhaps he was looking for a new subject for their classes. 

(Or for Sirius Black)

Ariel stood up and walked down to the trail to where he was heading in her direction. When Professor Lupin caught sight of her, he broke into a jog to meet her, smoothing back his windswept hair. 

"Ariel," he panted, pausing to catch his breath. "Are you alone? What are you doing here?"

"Yes, sir." Ariel cast a glance over her shoulder to where Snuffles had disappeared among the trees. "I was just… needing some fresh air."

Professor Lupin gave her an appraising look and then shook his head. “I’d like to tell you that coming out here alone is still unwise.” 

She bit her lip. “But?” 

He blinked. 

"But," he said, taking a moment to think. "I'd be a hypocrite if I say that I didn’t understand.” 

His lips tugged into a small smile, his gaze resting on her for a beat longer than necessary.

Ariel shrugged. “I don’t get a lot of fresh air these days, especially not being able to go to Hogsmeade. You're here too now, aren't you?"

Lupin chuckled softly. "Yes, I suppose I am." 

“I’d enjoy some company going back up to the castle, though.” 

Professor Lupin gave a small nod, leading the way back up the trail. Ariel followed suit, noting that his cloak was tattered at the bottom, covered in muck and dead leaves. She wanted to ask him what he’d been up to, but stopped herself from prying, knowing all too well what that felt like. 

If you’re going to have secrets, you’d do well to ensure you can keep them — 

The castle, far in the distance, was all lit up, a beacon against the falling dark. 

“I hope you’ve been able to find some quiet out here,” Professor Lupin said, his voice a soft echo in the crisp winter air. “It can be quite peaceful. The Dementors have made that quite difficult this term.” 

Ariel nodded. "It's… nice.” 

Nice was a poor way to characterize the soft silence of the Forest washing over her — the brief respite from the Dementors' chilling presence. She knew from experience that sometimes, it was better to let silence speak for itself. Walking with Professor Lupin — this person she both did and didn’t know — in companionable silence, not trying to make forced smalltalk about her dead parents, was — nice. 

“I think I’d like to come up with a different way to deal with them — the Dementors.” Ariel added, when Professor Lupin sent her a puzzled look. “Besides the Patronus.” 

"They are difficult creatures to manage," he agreed, rubbing his hands together for warmth. "The Patronus is the most effective method known to wizards, but I suppose there could be other ways."

“Do they have faces? I’d like to sock them right in the mouth.” 

Professor Lupin chuckled. “Not quite mouths in the way you’re picturing — more like a gaping void, I’m afraid. I bet you’d still throw a mean punch, though.”

“Right, well, I’d like to punch them regardless. Maybe I can set their stupid cloaks on fire.” 

"That would be a sight," Professor Lupin said, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Perhaps we’ll have to give it some thought when our lessons resume.” 

He’d told Ariel shortly after her attack ago they could resume after Christmas. Ariel hadn’t asked why, not wanting to push her luck, but still grateful. She hadn’t dared talk to Snape about it again. He’d been so strange since he’d forced himself into her mind, so rigid and yet — not. There were times where Ariel could sense that if she pushed back even slightly during their Occlumency lessons that Snape would bend, but she couldn’t tell if it was some sort of test or not. 

She hesitated, and then the question she just had to ask burst from her before she could stop herself. “Why do the Dementors affect me like that? Am I just — ?”

“It has nothing to do with weakness,” Professor Lupin said sharply, as though he had read Ariel’s mind. “The Dementors affect you worse than the others because there are horrors in your past that the others don’t have. If it can, a Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself — soulless and evil. You’ll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life. And the worst that happened to you, Ariel —” 

His voice trailed off, his gaze growing distant as if he too were unfurling from within, and Ariel wondered what lay  in the vault of his heart, what the Dementors made him hear. She could only imagine — maybe he’d lost people in the War, too. People other than her parents, his friends. 

“Azkaban must be terrible,” Ariel muttered, a chill skittering down her spine. 

Professor Lupin nodded grimly. “The fortress is set on a tiny island, way out to sea, but they don’t need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they’re all trapped inside their own heads, incapable of a single cheerful thought. Most of them go mad within weeks.”

“But Sirius Black escaped from them,” Ariel said slowly. “he got away —” 

Professor Lupin tripped on something, then. Ariel couldn’t tell, the path darkening quickly before them, but she grabbed his arm to steady him all the same. 

“Yes,” he said, straightening up. “Black must have found a way to fight them. I wouldn’t have believed it possible. Dementors are supposed to drain a wizard of his powers if he is left with them too long.” 

“Black definitely wouldn’t have been able to cast a Patronus.” Ariel frowned, then. “How else would he have fought them off?” 

"I don’t know," Professor Lupin answered, his voice strained, as if a dark cloud had descended upon him. "Black is the only one known to have done it. He would have been different, when he came out — worse than before.” 

Ariel stagnated her thoughts for a moment, letting the silence fill the air between them once more. She watched the trail of his breath hover and dissolve in the frigid air, an uncertain ghost of a thought she couldn't distinguish. 

"Maybe he was already worse to begin with," she finally said.

Professor Lupin didn't answer immediately, but Ariel could see his eyes narrow in the failing light. His gaze felt heavy on her, as if he were studying her, probing for something beneath her words. He frowned, a line of tension appearing between his eyebrows.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Professor Lupin hesitated, as though he were reconsidering. “You didn’t happen to hear anything that day, did you?” 

It took Ariel a moment to figure out what he was talking about. The abrupt change in conversation made her feel like she had whiplash. “I — what? Like what?”

And then, another thought made her heart sink — like my mother being murdered? 

He cleared his throat. “Like a — dog.” 

Ariel’s breathing hitched slightly. Snuffles — he’d been trying to warn them, but Professor Lupin had been so distracted by it that he hadn’t noticed the Dementors bleeding out from the trees. 

What did Snuffles have to do with anything? 

"No," Ariel lied, shaking her head. “I heard nothing but her.” 

She didn’t miss the way his eyes flared at her answer. His gaze held a touch of surprise, disappointment, and something else she couldn't quite discern. But even as it made her stomach churn uneasily, she held his gaze steadily. Ariel wasn’t about to betray Snuffles' presence for whatever reasons Professor Lupin might have. She didn’t think he’d do anything to her dog, but she wasn’t going to take any chances. 

“I see,” Professor Lupin sighed, turning his gaze away. 

Ariel shifted uncomfortably under her cloak, the material suddenly feeling too heavy against her skin. She watched him carefully now, the intrigue rising within her like a tide, Snape’s words echoing in her ears — 

You are too much like her, you cannot trust him — 

Professor Lupin stopped in his tracks abruptly, causing Ariel to almost walk into him. He turned to her, his face solemn in the twilight, the faint traces of worry etching lines deeper than she had seen before. His hand found her shoulder and curled into it, but it was cold and hard through her cloak like a stone. 

Ariel just stared up at him silently, unable to find the words she needed. The cold seemed to have seeped into her bones, making her feel hollow and brittle.

I held you as a baby — 

I didn't want to see you because I didn't want you to see me — 

I owed your parents more than that —

For the first time, Ariel found herself wondering if maybe, just maybe, Snape was right.

[goddess47]

Card

For @snarrymicrofics day 14 - also on AO3

----

Harry looked suspiciously at the bowl of tropical fruit in front of him.

"What is this?" he asked, curious. "Aunt Petunia would never buy fancy food like this and I've never seen any fruit like this at Hogwarts."

Severus identified what he could. "Maybe we could use your library card to get a book so we could look up?" he suggested.

[elephantshoetoo]

Excerpt from "The Drawing Board":

(Chapter 7 of The Byler Files, vol. 3, by ElephantShoe. Now posted on AO3.)

(Everyone returns to their various research materials, reading quietly, with only the sound of Robin tapping a pen on her folder to infiltrate their thoughts. Side by side on the floor, Mike snuggles up to Will, resting his head on Will's shoulder. He sighs with contentment, a dreamy, far-away look on his face.)

MIKE (softly, to Will): Petunia.

WILL: Hmm…?

MIKE: That's what we should name her. 

WILL (glancing up from the sketchbook): Are you…? Uh... Wh-what? (Will sits up, eyeing Mike curiously.) Wait – you're… you're serious, aren't you? 

MIKE: Yeah. I mean, I know it's not happening now… Or, anytime soon, but… (He shrugs.) someday. 

WILL: Oh. Okay. Yeah. (He smiles tenderly at Mike and nods.) Petunia. I like it. 

MIKE: Yeah…? 

WILL: Yeah.

MIKE: Cool. We could call her…Pet? Or… or Toony? 

(Chuckling, Will leans in and kisses Mike's forehead, beaming at him with a goofy grin.)

MIKE: What…?

WILL: You're adorable. 

MIKE: Am I?

WILL: ‘Fraid so, yup. 

MIKE: Well, you're pretty cute, yourself. Especially now that you've got that… (He waves his hand in a circle towards Will's belly, grinning.) healthy pregnancy glow. 

(Laughing, Will pushes Mike over in retaliation and leans on him.)

MIKE (teasing): Hey, hey – no roughhousing in your condition, mister.

WILL (digging his knuckles into Mike's side): I'll show you my condition! 

(Mike shrieks and grabs Will's hand to stop the knuckling, pulling Will down on top of him while drawing the attention of everyone else in the room. They pause, lips mere inches apart, the electricity palpable. And then, passionately, they start kissing, because of course they do. The others all stare at them, then at each other, not altogether sure how to react to yet another impromptu make-out session.)

NANCY: Do we need to separate you two? (No response.) Hello…? 

WILL (still kissing): No… we'll, mmm… get back to work.

(They don't.)

NANCY: Today…? 

WILL: Ummm… sure. Soon. 

MIKE (still still kissing): Uh-uh. 

(Stubbornly, Mike locks his arms around Will's torso, refusing to let go.)

WILL (to Mike, chuckling): We'd, uh… we'd better stop before she gives us detention or something.

MIKE (holding on tighter): If it's detention with you… I'm willing to risk it. 

WILL: Babe, we do have a lot of work to do…

(Will wriggles free and locates the sketchbook that got kicked aside in the scuffle. Mike sits up and pouts, arms crossed.)

MIKE (to Nancy, sulking): Are you happy? You've corrupted my boyfriend. 

WILL (rubbing Mike's arm in commiseration): Just… think of it as one more thing I can make up to you later. 

(Will raises his eyebrows and bites his bottom lip temptingly.)

MIKE (perking up): Ooh, okay. 

(As Will goes back to perusing Henry's written thoughts, Mike gazes contemplatively at the whiteboard.)  

MIKE: Hey, I know what this drawing board needs…

(He gets up, grabs one of the dry erase markers, and sets to work. In the bottom left-hand corner, Mike doodles a little stick-figure drawing of two boys kissing – one with a bowl cut and the other with dark shoulder-length curly locks – surrounded by hearts and stars. Will looks up from the sketchbook, swooning a little as he watches Mike admiringly. He thinks to himself, “God, that boy is wonderful. And also, somehow… mine.” He smiles, overflowing with gratitude. Noting the doodle, Nancy makes a face.)

NANCY: Oh, because that's pertinent to the investigation…

MIKE: It is! That… (He points at the drawing.) is the very heart of why it matters.

ROBIN: He has a point… 

💙💛💚

Happy Byler Files Friday, everyone!

[ducktracy]

a podcast just dropped reviewing The Day the Earth Blew up!! spoiler warning for plot details of course. posting to get more eyes on it and also because some things stood out to me that i just wanted to archive, UGHHHH i need to see this movie! spoilers under the cut

he describes it as a "Porky Pig movie" which I AM SO HAPPY FOR. i've been saying for awhile now that i so so so so so hope this movie puts Porky back in the public conscious

"you know, whenever doing a Looney Tunes project, Bugs Bunny's the main character, and i realize, actually, Porky Pig is much more perfect for that."

"that's why it's a Porky Pig movie, it's mainly his character development"

evidently Daffy is responsible for Porky's stutter by dropping a bowling ball on his head:

"[as babies] Porky is reading a book, and he's reading with this very eloquent diction, and then Daffy by accident pushes a bowling ball on his head and Porky starts to stutter, and Daffy is like 'ooo' and just moves away"

praises for its usage of Powerhouse, used in tandem with a "psychedelic sequence"

"i really love that part of the story is how Porky learns to appreciate Daffy for being daffy"

compares Daffy to his persona in A Pest in the House, sort of talking about how he causes problems but doesn't have any sort of ill will, he's just out of his gourd and doesn't know he's causing issues

no other LT characters except Daffy, Porky, and Petunia, as well as about "2 other cameos" [one of them being Beans]

there's a bit in the trailer where Porky and Daffy strike The Pose, and it is indeed confirmed that this starts up a mini-LT short of sorts where they try various odd jobs to get the money to fix their house. was speculating that this is the case AND I AM SO HAPPY IT IS.

WHOLE THING IS WORTH LISTENING TO, there's more but these are some of the things that caught my eye the most. i need this movie

[zipzapzopzoop]

There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow

Chapter 27: Hide and Seek

“Again, Franny?”

A teenage Art scolded the girl as he drove the battered pizza delivery car. It smelled like pizza inside. He only just got it back from the police station after it was stolen. It nearly cost him his job, so he wasn’t exactly in the best mood. “We’ve been over this! You can’t kiss the frogs!”

Franny crossed her arms with a pout. Her brother wasn’t thrilled about having to pick her up early because she was ill. Only a bit! She was doing better now!

“If they weren’t meant to be kissed, why do they look so cute and dumb and kissable!” She exclaimed, holding Frankie up to emphasize her point. “See him? Look at him. Look at him, Art… Art, you’re not looking-” “I see him, Fran. You know he’s supposed to stay at home-”

“STOP!” 

Art slammed down on the breaks and held his arm in front of his sister. The car skidded to an abrupt halt, the poor frog flying from the girl’s hands and plopping into the windshield with a ‘slap!’

“What!? What is it?!”

“Lewis lives that way!” She pointed. “He hasn’t come to school in a few days and I want to make sure he’s okay!”

“Fran, I’m certain he’s fine-”

“Please!” “It would be rude to stop by unannounced-”

“Please! We’ll just knock and ask!”

She gave her brother the biggest puppy dog eyes she could. “Please? For me?”

Art only looked unimpressed. “That’s not going to work this time.”

She leaned in and gave him a big hug, somehow making her eyes even bigger.

“For your favorite baby sister?” Art scowled and looked away. She responded by holding Frankie up next to his face. Even as he tried to look away, she moved Frankie to follow. “Pwease? Fow Fwankie?”

Art threw up his arms in defeat. “Fine! Just leave the frog at home tomorrow.”

Franny leaned into Frankie and chuckled. “Not gonna happen.”

“What?”

She held Frankie up again. “Frankie was just telling me that you’re the best brother ever!”

Art breathed a heavy sigh and put on his turn signal. 

“What am I going to do with you?”

——————

While Wilbur tuned everything out, Lewis did all he could to listen in.

“My biggest concern is that these people know who we are and are trying to get ahold of us,” rather than his usual expressive and broad tone, Art spoke low and quiet, as if they weren’t the only people in the house.

“That’s ridiculous. This bozo here and I were arrested and they let us go!”

“Please calm down, honey. The important thing is that you’re with us. We don’t know these people or their motives just yet. We may have just gotten lucky.”

Franny put a hand on Laszlo’s shoulder, making a mental note to ask about getting arrested later. “How are the maps coming along?” Laszlo brightened a bit, seemingly eager to change the topic and escape being the center of attention. “Good. Here, they’re all done.” He handed them to Franny.

“Alright!” Franny spoke up, quieting the rest of the room. She placed the maps on the center of the table. “Role call. What are some points of interest? Where did everyone start out?”

Everyone pointed to different spots around the Midtown map. Wilbur pointed to Joyce Williams Elementary. “There. They wouldn’t let me leave.”

Fritz pointed to downtown. Petunia pointed to an alleyway behind a toy store. Laszlo pointed to a church. Art to a bowling alley. Lefty to a bookstore. Finally, Franny to a car demolition site. Lewis took a pen and marked where each person pointed.

“Who are we missing?” Fritz put on a pair of reading glasses and got another piece of paper. Lefty meanwhile decided to clean up the kitchen.

“Our damn daughter for starters?” Petunia squawked. Fritz nervously wrote down names as the others suggested. 

“Alright, so that’s Tallulah, Billie, Gaston, Joe, Bud, and Lucille.. God, I hope they’re okay…” he put his head in his hand. 

Laszlo suddenly went still and took on a worried expression.

“What if… Those people who went after me… What if they have Tallulah?”

They all looked up, nobody having the heart to confirm the likelihood of the possibility.

A knock at the door suddenly brought them into the abrupt present.

Lewis turned to his family in a panic. “Hide! Now!” He whispered as loud as he could without being heard outside.

“Hello! It’s Franny! Are you home? Can I come in? Your door’s unlocked!”

Suddenly the kitchen became a mad scramble for everyone to hide. 

Franny slowly pushed the front door open. She turned and gave a grin and thumbs up to her brother sitting in the car. He looked puzzled. They let her in? Huh.

“Lewis!” Franny called out as she stepped into the empty home. “It’s just me! I’m here to make sure you’re not dead!” She stepped into the kitchen, not noticing the rapid shuffling by the figures hidden just out of sight. The house smelled like bacon and eggs, so someone was just here. Franny didn’t see the two pairs of eyes (one of which were fake) watching from the pantry. Petunia opened her mouth but Fritz quickly covered it and shook his head.

“Lewis! Are you having a breakfast party?” Franny turned to look at the table while a camouflaged Lefty slowly moved from his spot on the wall up to the ceiling, changing his color to match his surroundings. There was an open iBook on the table. Cool! She and Lewis would play games on it sometimes when she’d visit. To her confusion, there were no games, just pictures of the city. Just out of her sight, Wilbur stood balanced on a door, holding Buster under an arm. He silently shushed the dog. Suddenly, his foot slipped but he was snatched up by a long tentacle arm.

Some drawn maps with crosses on them caught her eye, next to it a list of names. “‘Tallulah, Billie, Gaston…’” she read aloud. “Hey, I know a Gaston,” Franny spoke to nobody in particular.

The girl jumped up when she thought she saw the curtains move slightly. She didn’t see the figure flinch and huddle back behind the curtain. “Hey! Who’s there? I know karate!” 

Franny snuck up to the curtain, her arms raised. She yanked the curtain back and jumped into position. “Hiya!” 

…There was nobody there.

Franny stood for a moment. Huh… She went back to the pictures on the table, failing to notice Laszlo, now on top of the curtain rail, breathing a sigh of relief. That was close.

She looked over the papers again, trying to figure them out. A pen fell and rolled under the table, stopping right next to the girl’s older counterpart, who had been using the table as a hiding place. “Dang it.” She felt the ground with her arm, but couldn’t seem to find the pen. Mrs.Robinson held her breath when the girl moved to look underneath the table-

“WAIT!” Lewis ran in and Franny jumped up. Mrs.Robinson took the time to crawl away.

“There you are, Lewis! Where have you been? Are you okay?” Lewis hurried over and ushered Franny another way so that she wouldn’t see Uncle Art huddled behind one of the counters. “Yeah, I’m good! Just some… family in town! Been spending some time catching up.” 

“Neat! Oh my gosh I totally forgot! I found a robot! At school!” Lewis froze. “What?” “Yeah! He’s in the janitor’s closet and he’s made of gold! And he’s got an ‘R’ for robot on his chest!”

Lewis grabbed Franny’s shoulders. “You have to show me! ASAP!”

A bright grin spread across Franny’s face. “Way ahead of ya!”

The two went running out the front door, Franny unaware of her friend’s panic, mistaking it for curiosity. “You should fix him up so he can be our friend!” “That’s the plan!”

The moment the door shut, the entire family fell from their hiding spots, breathing a collective sigh of relief.

Way. Too. Close.

------

[fanhackers]

Radio, Radio!

I almost didn’t write this post for fear that you guys will think I’m even more of an old than I even am, but a) fuck it and b) there’s a way in which everything old is new again, so bear with me.  *takes deep breath*  OK, so when I was a young fan, a lot of my fannish life happened over the RADIO.  Yes, RADIO, that–I was about to say, that weird looking box with dials on it, but you probably don’t even have a radio. (*Shut up, shut up, I can’t hear you, la la I am going to live forever!*)  But you probably listen to something like radio on Spotify, or you listen to podcasts, or you might even use an app to listen to some great legacy radio station in your area.  So imagine you had a dedicated box just for that.

Anyway, in the before-times, radio then–like podcasts now–was a way to do fandom.  Music people know this of course, but I’m both a fan and a theatre person, and man, radio theatre was the best, and fannish radio theatre even better.  Britain had and still has a really strong radio drama tradition, which is smart because it lets them produce new plays by new writers for a fraction of the cost of a staged production.  But NPR in the US used to do radio drama too–they had a show called NPR Playhouse / Sounds of Theatre which I was devoted to.  

I have two particularly strong fannish memories from this era. First,  the joy of hearing the original Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy on radio. Douglas Adams wrote Hitchhikers for radio and radio is the best way to experience it  - I mean, Zaphod having two heads and three arms is radio joke if there ever was one, and then all these poor TV and film people had to figure out how to actually get an actor with a second head. (Footnote 1).  I backtrack here to say that if you don’t know what I’m talking about, never read or saw any version of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy, click on the link and have yourself a whale of a time (or a bowl of petunias of a time.) (Sorry, the whole Hitchhiker’s thing makes me instantly 12 years old FOREVER. My whole world is Hitchhikers, Star Wars, and Doctor Who– Five.) 

Moving on: the second great fannish radio experience was NPR’s dramatized version of Star Wars, which had Mark Hamill and Anthony Daniels playing their original roles, and Perry King as Han Solo - Perry King, you will remember (who am I kidding, you will absolutely not remember, but anyway), became a fan-favorite for a show called Riptide, so that was okay, too. And they expanded the text! And added new scenes!  I can remember Mark Hamill giving an interview talking about how different it was to play the part for radio; he talked about how you had to sort of put movement in your voice at all times: “I’m–grunt–putting on my–harumph–jacket!” But he was great at it–obviously, since he’s become such a famous voice actor since. And it’s wonderful that podcasting has brought theatre and fandom back into the medium of sound - podcasts are the obvious new media version of all this.

Okay, so bring this back to fan studies, these personal fannish reminiscences (and awesome links—you’re welcome!)  are brought to you by Martin Cooper’s book Radio Legacy in Popular Culture: The Sounds of British Broadcasting Over the Decades (Bloombury, 2022, excerpt available at the link).  Make no mistake, this is a fannish book in its way - Cooper is interested not just in radio but in artistic works that are in some way about radio, which he regards explicitly as fanworks about radio: 

In the case of fandom it could be alternative storylines; in our case of radio listening, it can be a reinterpretation of what has been heard on the airwaves. Hence, it is plausible to think of the responses I analyse in the chapters that follow as reinterpretations and critiques of radio listening; that they have been produced by professional writers and musicians makes them less of a subculture and more of a series of transformative texts that extend the meaning and understanding of the medium of radio. They are portrayals of the everyday action of listening to the radio: of paying attention to the programmes, the discussions, the documentaries, the dramas, the daily shows and the DJs.  

Note that the book has a specifically British focus, but British music and drama have influenced fandoms all over the world. I mean, Radio, Radio; Video Killed The Radio Star; Oh Yeah (There’s a Band Playing On The Radio), Radio Clash –Cooper frames all these songs as part of a British transformative fannish response to the medium.  Radio on! 

–Francesca Coppa, fanhackers volunteer

(1) I got the chance to meet Mark Wing-Davey, who played Zaphod Beeblebrox both on the original radio show and on the BBC show--he's a big-shot theatre director now, but I honestly could not keep my inner 12 year old under control: I basically had my fists stuffed in my mouth because OMG Zaphod Beeblebrox!!! my heart!! and finally I just kind of choked out, "sorry, I can't--excuse me" and fled the dinner. *facepalm*