#He keeps forgetting the keys

[4seasonsofart]

Modern AU | Askeladd when introducing his family to people...

Askeladd: "I'm gay, their mother is gay, and all of my stupid motherfuc—I mean, beautiful children—are gay."

Bjorn: "I'm the mother; I take care of Askeladd. They are quite sweet children. Garm, stop trying to murder your brother! Canute, you cannot exercise the demons out of Thorfinn! We already tried that once already..."

Thorfinn: "Tell me again why I have to make a stupid introduction." Askeladd threatens to take away his guitar and alternative music. "I am Thorfinn, son of Thors. These people are not my family... I was kidnapped..." Garm attacks Thorfinn again.

Canute: "I am princess Canute. Our Lord and Savior, Nicki Minaj, gave me the ability to be a woman." Eyes Garm and Thorfinn suspiciously. "Mom-! Garm keeps stealing my dresses and wearing them... Thorfinn keeps stealing my make-up to do his stupid satanic rituals!"

Thorfinn: Thorfinn threatens to punch his sister. "I'm sacrificing you first to the demons."

Garm: "We're sacrificing people? Am I allowed to do it to Principle Ketil?"

Askeladd: "Only if you're paying for your bail."

Garm: "Is that a yes...?"

Bjorn: "No."

Garm: "I'm taking that as a yes."

Bjorn: "Introduce yourself Garm... we will talk about those arson charges when we get home."

Garm: points to himself. "Garm."

Canute: "That's close enough to Gay."

Garm: "I will steal all of your dresses and wear them out of retaliation."

Canute: "You wouldn't dare! You'll stretch them out with your broad shoulders!? Dad! Mom!"

Bjorn side eyes Askeladd.

Askeladd: "You're the one who said you wanted kids."

[magicalgrimm]

A blast from the past (and by that i mean a traumatic near death experience.)

Bonus:

[lilyharvord]

I need people to understand that my hyperfixation ships are limited to one thing: a man who is usually in full control of himself meeting 1 woman and losing complete and utter control over absolutely everything he does.

I just like to watch when they go full feral for a woman who could literally chew them up and spit them out, but choses to let them stick around because I don't know, it's nice to have someone carrying their bag or whatever.

[winters0689]

HOW TF DID CORIOLANUS SNOW BAG A BADDIE LIKE LUCY GRAY BAIRD?????!!!!!!! It makes no sense! Thank gosh Lucy Gray ran away from the walking red flag that was Coriolanus Snow.

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya once jokingly referred to Bennett as 'Bennett Guildson' in lightly scolding him over endangering himself, and Bennett most Definitely considered making that his actual name on his official Adventurer's Guild paperwork, send post-

[cerealmonster15]

life is like a metronome sometimes I reread my fics and go “heehee silly fun times” and other times I can’t get past 3 sentences with out going “NO this is CRINGE and BAD everyone that has ever said something nice about my work is a LIAR and an ENABLER and just FEELS BAD FOR ME” actually that says less about life and More about My Issues I think 🤔

[sirenspells]

As much as I like the idea of shattered omori being a silly little guy, regrettably he only appears in amnesiac omori au as an enemy that the group has to fight

[a1sart]

i feel like I need to take notes while listening to the Magnus archives they keep bringing stuff back up and I'm like "oh man that name sounds familiar what episode is that from? Why are they concerned about this turn of events" and then having to go back through every episode to figure out wtf they're talking about

[slumbergoblin]

who dares wake him up at 2 PM!! (it was me :))

[galaxxies18]

「届きはしない思い」 「声にならめ声で」

「T R E A S U R E Y O U」

Please don't repost anywhere else!

Invidivual versions below the cut 👇

[tea-stained]

Okay if you think about it, Hadestown is just 5 people with depression who deal with it VERY differently

[lairn]

rereading the last couple volumes of ajin and tearing up over what it means to be alive

[local-maenad]

No but it’s funny how everyone including the show forgets about poor Frank Jr. like he’s Franks son too!! I love reading fics about Lisa and Franks relationship but what about Frankie??? Pls give him some attention clearly he needs it 😭💀

[bmpmp3]

(booting up a new game from hit visual novel developer VisualArts/Key) i know all their tricks by now they can’t get to me anymore im immune to this shit im immu-

[lastoneout]

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

[ramonathinks]

(18+, minors/blank accounts dni)

jealous ex husband gojo who just can't keep stand seeing you with someone else. he hates that you gave up on him, hates that you don't wear your ring anymore even though he does and he wears it proudly.

"you have a date tonight, the girls tell me." busted. you cringe and eye you little daughters, only six the both of them but you told them to keep quiet about the situation.

"yes..." you reply, anxiously awaiting his response.

you could just picture his face now, nose a bit flared and lips pursed. with clenched teeth he said, "alright, have fun." but it wasn't that simple.

he always kept close watch on you and it made you nervous with how simple it left the conversation. "well, i could come pick the girls up before then. about 8-ish?" he asks and you say yes before hanging up.

gojo was always too busy which was what led to the divorce. you'd both married young, 20 and stayed together since but when the girls turned 3 you had enough and just left. he wasn't being there enough for you or the girls and it hurt.

when he pulled up you cursed yourself for getting ready so early. your hair in long curls and a knee length skirt with a small slit on the left leg. he didn't bothering knocking or waiting for you to open the door, he had keys and you knew this so you continued with your makeup.

he was standing there watching you but you ignored him. or tried to but he walked closer and closer until he was right in your face. "how beautiful, you are." he held your jaw and forced you to look at him.

"why don't you ditch this date and come with me?" he asked, bringing your lower reign to his. "don't you miss me baby?" he nipped at your skin and the memories and feelings were coming back.

you had to be strong. you swallowed and pulled his back from you. "you have to stop this, im sure you have someone out there satoru, but she isn't me." you tried to walk off but he grabbed your wrist and brought you to your bedroom.

"y/n, so you think anyone can make you feel as good as i make you feel? don't you know i love you? my feelings never left and i know yours haven't." he rubs you through your panties and kisses you on your lips.

"everything can be different now." he promises, easing his way between your legs. his heavy cock entering you slowly, it was only the tip so far but it was splitting you open. you'd been without sex for two years and now tears were in your eyes.

"you think he can fill you up like me?" he adjusts himself and enters more of his cock into you. he was still so big, you were choking. you could feel him in your tummy and in your throat.

"you're always going to be mine, so stop running." he told you as he jerked his hips. "stop trying to let this go baby?"

"satoru—"

"mommy! the door!" one of the girls yelled.

"shh," satoru brought a finger to your lips and leaned forward to make love to your mouth. it was too much and you both were drooling after just a few minutes, he pulled himself out of you and looked at his wet cock.

"think about what i said." it was hard to forget. you clenched your legs together after you cleaned yourself up, not even wanting to face your date.

not even wanting to face your ex-husband either.