#<- crying in roughly 36 hours? of doing this?

[galaxxies18]

「届きはしない思い」 「声にならめ声で」

「T R E A S U R E Y O U」

Please don't repost anywhere else!

Invidivual versions below the cut 👇

[boxofshadows]

Oh, Your Love is Sunlight

Midnight/Nemuri Kayama x gn! reader

content: best friends to lovers, reader struggles with emotions and understanding romance vs platonic feelings, reader's gender is completely unimportant for the plot, reader can be seen as autistic if that resonates w/ you, fluff, confession, bath scene (sfw but there is nudity), brief discussion of romantic & sexual attraction, reader can also be seen as aroace-spec if that resonates w/ you. Self indulgent fic

AN: hi! This is my first x reader fic ever! I tried my best, but I do take polite criticism. Please feel free to drop by and throw something in my ask box.

Although this is x reader, I do not use y/n or (your name) in this fic. I find that it makes it more enjoyable, and there was no real need because this was in first person.

It was a cold winter's night. Most of UA was fast asleep. Not you though, no. You were waiting for someone. Nemuri Kayama, your best friend. The staff had decided on having a movie night, due to much of her insistence. And then like cruel karma, she got called away as soon as the movie started. It’d been nearly six hours since you'd seen her last, everyone else had already gone to bed. You refused to let her come home alone, knowing she would likely be disappointed and a bit sad. She’d consistently been there for you no matter what, so it was safe to say she deserved this at the least.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as the very topic of your musings waltzed right through the front door.

"Nem- what the fuck happened to you?" You say, looking at your slightly battered friend. She had definitely seen better days, her hair was a mess and her makeup had gone runny, she looked tired, overwhelmed, and, overall, drenched.

Why the fuck was she soaking wet in 3°c weather? (That's 37°f btw)

"So, I got caught up on call helping with villains, right? Calls just kept coming in, yknow? Everything was going fine until the last group." She starts gesturing with her hands as she speaks. "They- they all had really powerful quirks, so I was doing my thing, and then one of them started a fire. The villains went down, and BackDraft started handling the fires. Except he burst a fucking fire hydrant and drenched me!" She says weakly, her shoulders slouching. "And then! And then my key card doesn't work because it's drenched, so I had to call Nedzu and tell him this whole story."

"Oh, Nem, I'm so sorry," You say softly, walking over to her as she sits down to take the frustratingly tall boots off. She struggles with the zipper for a minute before sighing in defeat. "Here, let me help. You've obviously had a rough night." You sit down besides her, lifting the fabric of the boot away from her leg before pulling it down.

You can see it in the way her eyes shine that she wants nothing more than to cry in frustration, and frankly you don't blame her. She'd been looking forward to being here for the movie night. "I didn't even get to be here for the stupid movie," She says wrought with emotion as you unzip the other boot. "I must look like a mess right now, crying over what is literally my job," she says, chuckling wetly.

"Well, I think it's fair that you're upset. You were looking forward to this. And if it means anything, I still think you look pretty, even drenched in water and dirt." You chuckle, setting the boots aside and handing her a pair of slippers. "We can always watch a movie, just the two of us, if you want."

"I would like that, yeah," she says, powder blue eyes staring into yours.

"C'mon, Nem, let me take care of you."

"First things first, let's get you warm." You say, gently nudging her towards the communal baths. They weren't exactly communal, more so bigger bathtubs meant to hold two or three people at a time. Not all of the staff were exactly comfortable showing themselves off.

You start the faucet on the bath, turning the water to a moderate 36°c. (roughly 97°f) she chuckles quietly at your insistence. "Are you just trying to see me naked?" She taunts, taking off accessories.

"No! You just need to warm up before you get sick, and you're also covered in sweat and dirt," You say, blushing furiously.

"Awwww you're no fun. Are you at least gonna get into the tub with me?" She asks. Her voice intones in a way you're familiar with, but not enough to the point that you know what it means. You've heard other people use a similar tone before, but that was in romantic settings. Clearly, she meant something else since the two of you were only friends.

"Do you want me to?" You ask, tilting your head owlishly.

"Sure, why not? I need help with my hair. I think there's a rock in my hair somewhere." She says, her eyes grow soft as she observes you.

"Alright, I'll be right back." When you come back to the bath, Nemuri is already in the tub. Her dirty clothes are in the bucket, and she seems to have put a bath bomb in the tub from her collection. You have bathed together before, as all friends do, but you couldn't help but be stunned by her beauty every time. The way her long slate black hair clings to her pale skin in a sharp contrast, while also managing to make her baby blue eyes pop. The way her face was littered with faint freckles and moles like a constellation that you desperately wanted to connect with your fingers. She's breathtaking, you felt lucky to have such a pretty friend.

"Well, are you just gonna ogle at me, or are you gonna get in, hun?" She says with a chuckle. "I don't bite- unless you want me too?" Your face lights up like a fire, not realizing you'd been staring.

"Sorry, I had to get you some of my clothes because I don't have your room key. I know they're not your style exactly, but it's better than walking around naked." You mutter the last part, setting the dry clothes and towels aside.

"Oh, it's fine, your clothes are plenty comfortable enough." She waves her hands, scooting back into the pool of warm water.

"Alright, do you mind..." You trail off with your face still incredibly red. Heroes had to change costumes around each other all the time, you had even done it a couple times behind a dumpster. For some reason, changing in front of Nemuri like this was much more tense. Maybe it was because you guys were such good friends.

"Oh! Of course," she says, closing her eyes and turning around. Nemuri was such a good friend, sometimes even the smallest gestures made your heart flutter. Undressing quickly, you feel something bubble in your stomach. This feeling always happens whenever you're naked or not fully dressed around Nemuri. Sometimes it happens even when you are fully dressed. Nemuri was just so pretty, you were probably just insecure.

You enter the water with a slight splash, quickly making yourself comfortable in the water. "Okay, I'm done."

"Okay," She says with a smile.

"Do you... want help?" You murmur, moving a bit closer to her.

"That'd be lovely, starlight. I can't really reach my back very well. I'll help you with yours if you want." She turns around to lean against the rim of the tub. This moment feels… strange. Oddly intimate for two friends. The special nickname she'd given you, starlight, made your heart flutter. You resist the urge to kiss her.

Kiss her? You were only friends. Sure, it was a little weird, but friends did this sort of thing all the time, you were sure of it. You again shake yourself of your thoughts and move closer. "Sure, Nem" You quickly grab the bottle of passion fruit body wash and pump a bit of the goopy purple soap into the palm of your hand, rubbing them together to create a nice lather.

You massage the soap across her left shoulder, going over any scrapes or bruises carefully. The large mass of her hair lays across her right shoulder as you massage the tissue of her upper and lower back. Nemuri sighs softly as you work out a tense not in the middle of her back with your thumb. once the left side of her back is done, you dump warm water out of a cup over her body to wash the suds away. "Does that feel alright?" You ask, instinctively holding one of her hips for stability as you scoop the mass of her hair to the other shoulder.

"Feels amazing, sweetheart." She sighs bonelessly, making your stomach summersault so hard you think it's attempting a new record. You run the pad of your thumb down her spine, applying gentle pressure throughout before repeating the same steps on her other shoulder. Her breath stutters occasionally as she continues washing her front and legs. You wonder occasionally if you're hurting her based on the way she reacts, but you know she'd say something if you were. She looks completely blissed out by the time you're done massaging her scalp and neck, and you almost wonder if she's fallen asleep.

"Still with me, Nem?" You ask softly.

"Course I am, babes," She says dreamily. "'S my turn now, yeah?" She turns around quickly, very nearly ending up right on top of you. She's still practically in your lap, at which point you turn around as fast as you can so that she doesn't see your face go red again for the umpteenth time tonight.

"Can you scoot a bit closer? I can't reach well like this," she asks, resting her soft hands on your bare shoulders.

"Y-yeah," you stammer, scooting back. Her legs drape along yours. You instinctively scrunch your shoulders as she tries to massage them.

"Calm down hun, I won't hurt you." She says quietly, running a hand down the small of your back. You know she wouldn't hurt you. You trust Nemuri more than you trust yourself sometimes. You want nothing more than to relax into her and enjoy this, but something feels caught in your throat, like your lungs have been squeezed too tight.

"Ah, I know, I'm just sensitive, sorry," you apologize and try to straighten your shoulders. It's not exactly a lie, but you also don't know what the truth is.

"It's alright, darling, don't worry." She almost seems to know something is wrong, even without telling her directly. Your face throbbed again at the nickname.

You felt the need for something, some way to understand why you were feeling like this. This couldn't be normal, you were sure people didn't usually act like this around their close friends. Maybe Nem would know, she was well versed in relationships. Nemuri had done an entire podcast on relationship advice, and she had been teaching you how to tell the difference. It was still incredibly hard to do though, so sometimes you deferred to her to understand.

"Nem, this is really off topic, but I have a question," you say as she works soap into your scalp and through your hair. You rub soap on one of your legs, before lowering it back into the water to get rid of the suds.

"Shoot away starlight," she says while massaging out a knot in your neck.

"So you know about relationships, right, and you know how much I struggle with telling the difference between romantic and platonic, whatever it is." You explain, cleaning your other leg and your front.

"Mhm, you couldn't tell if someone was interested in you if they asked to bathe with you." She says, carding her hands through your soaking wet hair.

"Yeah, exactly. So I've been having these feelings around someone, where it feels like my stomach is flipping around." You mutter, hoping she hasn't caught on just yet. "I want to spend the rest of my life with this person, and it feels way more intense than friendship, and seeing them undressed makes me feel kinda weird."

"That would be a romantic attraction, yes. Although that ‘strange feeling’ could be sexual attraction. Not everyone experiences the two the exact same way." She dumps water over your back and scalp, washing away the soap.

Oh.

Oh.

She pulls the plug to the tub, standing up abruptly. You follow suit, choosing to avoid looking at her body to avoid that strange feeling again.. "What, uh, what do I do with that?"

"Well, you could tell this mysterious person.”

"That's a horrible idea," You mutter, pulling a tank top over your head.

“Why?" She asks sincerely, gathering up both of your laundry and dumping it down the chute.

"I doubt yo-they'd like me like that. They're beautiful and amazing, and I'm-" you gesture at your entire body.

"Anyone would be lucky to have you, babes, trust me." Nemuri turns the light to the bath segment off, heading out.

"Maybe someday. Or, maybe I just... Bury these feelings forever! That could work, right?" You ask, following behind her.

"No. The more you repress it, the more it's gonna hurt." She says solemnly.

"Here, I made us both high protein smoothies while I was waiting for you, in case you weren't hungry." You hand her the cup with a smile.

"Thank you, dear." She smiles at you, making your heart flutter again.

"Okay, Nem. Hypothetically, If I tell this person, and they don't like me back, what do I do?"

"If they hypothetically don't like you back, you could always stay friends, it's not really a big deal," Nemuri says, sipping her drink as you walk to her room.

"Okay," you say, shutting her bedroom door behind you. You barely make it through a movie before Nemuri decides to lay down to "relax her eyes." In her defense, the clock had just ticked over to two AM, and she had morning classes. Maybe while she slept, you could get some practice. You had no idea what to say to "confess." It's not like you were admitting a crime.

"I think I have a romantic attraction to you, Nemuri." You muttered, trying to keep quiet as you watched her sleep. That sounded too... robotic. She was beautiful, ethereal, you couldn't quite understand how someone so perfect wanted to spend so much time around you.

"Nemuri, I think- I think I'm in l-love with you." You flinch as you end the sentence, your heart racing.

Yeah. That felt right, love. Love was the right word to describe how she made you feel. "Nemuri, I think I'm in love with you," You say again, this time much more confident. "You're- You're amazing, beautiful, a competent hero and teacher, and I'm glad to spend every day with you." Your heart pounds in your chest. That felt good to say, like a weight had been lifted off of your back.

"mm.. I love you too, starlight." She says back, causing you to fly out of the bed in shock.

"Y-you heard me?" You squeak, covering your face, although it's not like she can see you anyways, you're hanging half way off the bed. The bed creaks, and then she's looming over you.

Tired blue eyes peer into yours that are currently peeking through your hands. The way she looks at you feels different now. Like she could pick you apart in seconds "Mhm, I wasn't deep asleep yet, silly." She says with a giggle. She pulls you up with her and sideways onto the bed with surprising ease. "For your information babes, I kinda knew the whole time. You aren't exactly... Subtle, darling." Nemuri kisses the side of your face.

"Wait, does this mean you like me too?" You ask, your mouth falling into an ‘o’ shape.

"What do you think 'I love you too' means, hun?"

"Oh." She peppers kisses across your face as you lay chest to chest.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to realize." She giggles into your now dry hair.

You smile lopsidedly at all of the affection, yawning quietly. "Can we figure the rest of this out tomorrow...? I'm tired... And you have class in like five hours."

"'Course, starlight, I'm just a little excited, sorry. good night, I love you." She says, pulling the blanket over you both as your limbs intertwine.

"Night night Nem, I love you too." You respond back, carding through her still-damp raven hair with your fingers.

End!

What should I do next? Feel free to hit me up or ask to be in my tag list!

[helaelaemond]

Hi 😊 This is for your drabble challenge: No. 36 with Aemond 🤭

Come Clean - Hilary Duff (soooo iconic and hilarious and unserious to write him for this I love it THANK YOU)

"Aemond, you can't-!"

He was little, yes, but he was quick, too, and he dodged under his mother's arm and fled her grasp. Cole sprinted after him and grabbed him a little too roughly and he knew it would leave a bruise. It made him grit his teeth. Still. Tears stung his eyes.

"My prince," Cole warned. "The storms are coming in. It is not safe to ride now."

He tried to rip his arm away, but of course the grown man was too strong. Strong, strong, strong. Strong men took it all.

Well. Not all of it. Targaryen boys took, too. Aegon took Helaena. But Aemond took Vhagar. If Aegon had their sister this day, then he would take his own flight, come what may.

Aemond's young face broke slightly, and he whispered "please."

Criston loosened his grip, and eventually his gloved hand rested under his chin. "It's too dangerous. I cannot keep you safe up there." He glanced up at the skies where clouds gathered. Across the eastern sea, thunder rumbled a warning.

"She can."

It took only a few more words to convince Cole to take him himself to the lair Vhagar made in the Kingswood. The queen was unhappy, but her guard spoke softly, and she looked at her sweet son, and she nodded.

An hour later, and the skies opened. So, too, did the wings of a mighty beast, and Aemond found himself at home in the open air. He sniffed back tears in vain. The higher they climbed, the louder she roared, an ancient call to the rumbling thunder.

"Do you miss Valyria?" Aemond cried out in the tongue she would always recognise. Rain pelted his face and filled his gasping mouth. "A place we will never know? We belong there, Vhagar."

Valyrian always felt like the language of his soul, and finally he found a creature who understood it like him. It made him cry harder. The crashing rain soaked him to his bones as they flew head-on into the storm. Aemond wept. He wept for his eye and for his sister. A year ago, life had seemed like it might have been so sweet for them, if only they had been left in peace.

"Vhagar!" he sobbed. He clutched onto the pommel as the pain of it all had him doubled over. He let himself mourn the world he would never know, for it lay in smoke and ruins. He let himself mourn the crown he would never wear, and again for the sister he would never wed, and the eye stolen. An eye that would not see.

The other saw it all.

His screams of anguish were met with roars of flame. Whatever he felt flying through the storm, Vhagar felt with him. By the time they emerged on the other side, Aemond was clean. Aemond was free.

[writersmorgue]

Day 18 - can't stay awake

read on Ao3

word count: 590

TWs in tags

╞╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╡

Izuku knew all his nights of no sleep had been preparing him for something.

Maybe he hadn’t anticipated the… severity of the situation.

It has been roughly 36 hours since Kacchan went down and they were officially trapped here.

The dark hole they’re trapped in is inescapable without Izuku’s legs or Kacchan’s quirk. Dirt is piled around them, a little pocket of air being their only means of surviving this long. Every so often he’ll hear a noise above them, and he’ll call out. The constant screaming for help is tiring, and his throat is pissed at him.

He knows help is coming, they should be anyway. Kacchan made contact with Aizawa back at the rendezvous point before it was destroyed in a landslide. 

Stupid natural disasters. He’d take a villain over this any day, and he knows Kacchan feels the same. 

They have plenty of food and water, well enough so they won’t die of starvation before they bleed out. 

Izuku sighs, adjusting his throbbing legs. He’d used too much power in a panicked attempt to catch Kacchan before he was crushed by a falling tree. Turns out yelling at someone who lost their hearing aids isn’t very effective. Yeah, the tree ended up crushing both of them. 

Now he sits on the muddy floor of this pit, with a hero partner that might have permanent brain damage.

Great.

He holds his eyes open with his fingers, the cool air burning them instantly.

Kacchan makes a choking noise, and Izuku rolls him onto his side so he can vomit. 

His friend gurgles, heaving the last of the water Izuku forced down his throat. 

Izuku pats his back, vision blacking out momentarily. The smell of vomit helps keep his brain stay active at least. Kacchan is so buying him dinner when they get home.

“Yeah, you’re okay.” He sighs, pinching Kacchan’s cheek.

There’s a rustling above them, probably the wind, but Izuku perks up regardless. “HELLO?!” He shouts, cupping his hands together, “SENSEI?” 

No answer, just a few more moments of noise until it stops. 

Izuku’s head flops back onto the stone behind him, frustrated tears brimming in his eyes. 

His skull hurts, his legs are numb, and he’s so so tired.

He must black out because he next wakes to the sound of a rock tumbling from above him. 

“Hello?” He cries hoarsely, barely audible even to him.

He shifts his head down to check on Kacchan. No noticeable change, and it looks like the bleeding on his head finally stopped. He doesn’t want to check for a pulse.

“Kacchan are you having fun?” He’s only slightly delirious, head swinging around. It’s the only thing he can do. 

“Yeah me too. I bet Sensei’s close. ‘N I’ll ask mom to make some. Um,” He pauses, chest squeezing, “Soup. Like when we were kids. Spicy for you, Kacchan.” 

Tears slip down his cheeks. He’s not sure why he’s crying, everything is okay.. 

His head tips down again, and he resigns himself to staring at his legs for the rest of eternity. 

Darkness encroaches on his vision, and he uses his remaining strength to thread his fingers through Kacchan’s hair. He can imagine the smell of his quirk, the nostalgic smokey scent that follows him around. A portable campfire, as Kaminari likes to call him. 

Izuku smiles to himself, his body slumping to the side. 

He’s sure they’ll be fine, he can rest now.

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

IXPE quickly observes aftermath of exceptional cosmic blast On Oct. 9, 2022, NASA's Fermi Gamma-ray Space Telescope and Neil Gehrels Swift Observatory detected a high-energy blast of light from deep space. The light came from a powerful explosion called a gamma-ray burst dubbed GRB 221009A that ranks among the most luminous known. Scientists around the world trained their telescopes on the aftermath. Michela Negro, a postdoctoral research assistant at the University of Maryland Baltimore County and NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland, could not have been in a better place. She was attending the 10th Fermi Symposium, a gathering of gamma-ray astronomers, in Johannesburg, South Africa. She grabbed two colleagues and started doing the math to see if it might be possible to catch polarized X-rays with the Imaging X-ray Polarimetry Explorer (IXPE). Gamma-ray bursts (GRBs) are unpredictable and fleeting. The IXPE science team had not planned to observe one, but this burst created a unique opportunity. And a quick turnaround was essential. "We got some promising numbers, so we submitted a target of opportunity request," said Negro, who led IXPE observation of the burst. This process allows the team to interrupt its long-term plan to retarget for high-interest, time-critical sources. "In the request you have to justify why you want to point the telescope that way and why so quickly," Negro continued, "so we just said, 'This is now or never.'" For space-based telescopes like IXPE, observing an unplanned target is not as simple as it might sound. It takes a lot of coordination between the IXPE science operations team at NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Alabama, the mission operations manager at Ball Aerospace in Colorado, and the mission operations team at the University of Colorado Boulder's Laboratory for Atmospheric and Space Physics. "From the time we got the request until we were observing the target was roughly 36 hours," said Amy Walden, IXPE's project manager at Marshall. "The team really did an amazing job. They recognized the incredible opportunity this was, so everyone was working as quickly as they could." Stephen Lesage also dropped everything when he learned about the event. Lesage is a graduate research assistant at the University of Alabama in Huntsville and Fermi Gamma-ray Burst Monitor (GBM) team member. "I was in Atlanta for a Major League Soccer game, but my phone was constantly vibrating with notifications, so I knew it was something big," Lesage said. "I went back to my hotel room and sat at the desk in the corner until 3 a.m. working on it. But even when the work was done, I couldn't sleep, I was too excited." The signal, originating from the direction of the constellation Sagitta, had traveled an estimated 1.9 billion light years to reach Earth. Astronomers think it could be the birth cry of a new black hole, one that formed in the heart of a massive star collapsing under its own gravity. In these circumstances, a nascent black hole drives powerful jets of particles traveling near the speed of light. The jets pierce through the star, emitting X-rays and gamma rays as they stream into space. The light from this ancient explosion brings with it new insights into stellar collapse, the birth of a black hole, the behavior and interaction of matter near the speed of light, the conditions in a distant galaxy, and much more. Another GRB this bright may not appear for decades. "I believe that an event like this won't happen again in my lifetime," Negro said. "It was at least 10 times brighter than the previous record-holder, GRB 130427A," said GBM Principal Investigator Colleen Wilson-Hodge at Marshall. She also noted that scientists observed an unusually bright and long-lasting afterglow from the burst. Scientists are still analyzing this data and forming conclusions about what the observations mean. For Walden, it was exciting to see IXPE play a role. "That's what IXPE is for: we're uniquely qualified to search for X-ray polarization," she said. "GRB 221009A was likely the only chance in our mission lifetime to view one." IXPE is a partnership between NASA and the Italian Space Agency.

[moonctzeny]

Baby

au+trope+prompt game: college!au Jaehyun + fake dating + it’s just so hard not to fall in love with you

pairing: jung jaehyun x fem!reader x asshole!yuta

other members as background characters: yuta, mark, johnny, jungwoo

genre: angst, smut

word count: 9,124

warnings: abusive relationship, toxic behaviour

summary: “When Yuta breaks your heart for the millionth time, you meet Jaehyun, freshly broken up and looking for revenge. You decide to start fake dating to get back on your exes, but your plan takes an unexpected turn. You fall in love.”

a/n: I really don’t like putting yuta in a negative light like that it’s just for the fic’s sake! also I literally used the name Naeun as Jaehyun’s ex because I think it’s SUCH a pretty name, NO correlation whatsoever to any korean celebrity named naeun!

_____________________________________

You knew it was wrong.

Looking through your boyfriend’s, Yuta’s, phone while he took a shower, was the arguably the tackiest thing you have ever done.

He was always distant lately, only seeming to make time for a booty call, and at first, you blamed your hectic schedule. Your major was demanding, to say the least, so when Yuta suggested that you replace your dates with some “quality time” at his dorm, you had no objections. You didn’t know that he also meant ignoring your calls, canceling on you at the last minute to meet up with his frat brothers, and keeping your relationship strictly between four walls and two naked bodies.

The thought of him meaning more to you than you meant for him ate you away. It creeped in your mind while you heard the water running from your shower, and lead your fingertips to tap in the password of his phone.

Opening his messaging app, you recognize his best friends’ icons in a group chat consisting of his frat members. You scrolled up, ignoring the latest massages regarding a party that the frat would be throwing in two weeks. You started to feel guilty, not exactly sure what you were looking for, when you saw your name at the screen.

m0rklee[00:10]: @yutassanhyung, i saw your girl today at the supermarket! why didn’t you tell her about the party next Sunday?

you[00:12]: what girl lol  

m0rklee[00:13]: y/n?? i thought you guys were together?

you[00:12]: nahh

fairyteil[00:15]: eyy @yutassan if you’re done with her i know a couple guys who wanna hit it too

you[00:16]: be my guest haha

you[00:16]: don’t get me wrong she was bad when we met but shit is getting kinda stale

tenoutoften[00:17]: aren’t you on your way to her place lol

you[00:17]: hey hey pussy is pussy

Was that all you were to him? Pussy?

Yuta called you special, he called you yours. He didn’t like it when you were talking to other guys. He ripped your lingerie set because he didn’t want anyone else to ever see you in it but him. And then he dared to go around and call you a fling?

You heard the water stop running and knew you didn’t have much time until you had to face him, the thought alone making you sick.

You didn’t bother to lock his phone again, leaving the chat that made you so upset open. Grabbing your keys and a jacket, you left your place and hoped that Yuta would get the message and get the fuck out of there before you came back.

Your legs walked on their own accord, your memory leading you to the only place where you knew you’d find any sort of comfort. When Johnny opened his door, tears were already streaming down your face. He took the open tequila bottle you were holding and pulled you in for a hug. He smelled like weed and beer, and after hearing the “Is that the pizzas?”, you realized that your best friend wasn’t alone.

You quickly wiped your cheeks and fixed your sex hair that Yuta messed up, trying your best to look presentable. Johnny put a hand on your back and lead you to his living room. Jungwoo, your and Johnny’s friend from high school, was sprawled out on the couch, a little disappointed after seeing that you were, in fact, not the pizzas. Next to him, drowning in a bean bag, was Jaehyun. You didn’t really know him very well other than the fact that he took the same major as Johnny, so you felt a little insecure looking as messy as you did right now. His eyes were red, just like the other men’s, but you could swear his eyelashes looked a little damp.

Jungwoo’s words were muffled by the barbecue chips he was munching away.

“Yoo y/n, I didn’t know you were coming!”

You placed the tequila bottle on the table,

“Yeah, Woo, figured you wanted something to drink”

“Move” Johnny murmured to him, but he only stretched and sighed dramatically, shoving a handful of chips in his mouth.

“I don’t need a drink I need food. I’m hungry and I got the munchies”

Johnny grabbed his ankle and with impressive ease, dragged Jungwoo to the floor. The taller man sat on the couch, on the side next to Jaehyun and you followed his lead, letting a grumpy Jungwoo lean his head on your knees. Taking the lit joint from Jaehyun’s fingers, Johnny turned his attention back on you.

“So tell me chica” he said and took a hit, “who do I have to beat up?”

“Yuta”, you grumbled, “I’m ghosting this motherfucker”

You felt the vibrations on your lap when Jungwoo started talking.

“What did he do this time? Didn’t I tell you not to get involved with stupid frat boys?”

You started petting his hair, the softness comforting under your fingers.

“Apparently I’m not ‘bad’ enough for him anymore” you replied, throwing air quotes and rolling your eyes.

“Whaaaaat” Johnny drew out with a cough after taking a particularly deep inhale from the blunt, “you’re like the baddest bitch I know. Even now, that you’re all puffy from crying and smell like his dick”

You hit his shoulder, almost dropping the joint he was passing to Jungwoo, embarrassed that he would say something like that in front of Jaehyun, an almost stranger to you.

“I don’t know, man” Jungwoo started, and you could hear the smile on his face, “when girls cry it’s kinda hot”

You were contemplating how many hairs of his you should rip out of his scalp when the telecom rang, assumably by the pizza delivery man.

“Saved by the bell”, Jungwoo muttered to himself and got up quickly to open the door. While the youngest paid for the pizzas, Johnny held your hand, a bit guilty for his words earlier. He had a mischievous smirk and kept shifting his gaze between you and Jaehyun, who had been sitting in silence ever since you got here, occasionally smiling at your friends’ teasing.

“Fuck Yuta, man. You should find a nice guy to treat you well and fuck you even better y’know?” he started, and patted his buddy roughly on the back, “Like Jae over here”

Your eyes widened and you instinctively glanced at Jaehyun, ears a deep red and a matching shocked look on his face.

You cleared your throat, “No offense, but, like, aren’t you practically married to this girl-uhhh what’s her name again? Naeun?”

To someone who wasn’t listening to your conversation, it must have seemed like you tased him, or brought up a painful childhood memory, or asked him if he’d be willing to lick a lemon after washing his teeth. He looked away from you, and turned his attention to his nails, ripping a cuticle off in deep concentration. His voice was so quiet when he finally spoke, that you barely heard him. “I broke up with her, actually.. Like, three hours ago”

Guilt washed over you in an instant, not knowing that you scratched a wound so fresh. You wanted to apologize and even ask if you should leave the three alone, when Jungwoo grabbed the Tequila bottle and crashed on the couch clumsily between you and Johnny.

“Fuck love!”, he yelled, “let’s get wasted”

_______________________________________

You stared at the empty José Cuervo bottle rising up and down Johnny’s chest with every one of his snores. He was laid out on his couch, his tall height taking up all of its entirety, leaving Jungwoo passed out on the floor. Jaehyun followed your eyes and smiled at Johnny’s sleeping face, mouth open and tongue spilling out.

After the 4th shot, you found out that Jae was a pretty decent guy. He let you rant about Yuta while your friends were busy trying to see who could eat a large pizza by himself the fastest. You told him all about how you never went on dates anymore, how you looked through his phone after having sex, and the text conversation you found earlier tonight. He listened carefully, without judgment, and after smoking some more of Johnny’s staff, he opened up to you about his relationship with Naeun.

Or rather, how he found her fucking his roommate on his own bed.

You always thought of these two as what they call a ‘power couple’. Valedictorian meets basketball all-star, they graduate and have beautiful babies, while all the rest of us mortals can do is admire from afar. You would have never guessed the toxicity, constant cheating and manipulation that Jaehyun was recounting. You bonded over stories about cancelled dates, emotional distancing and feeling like you’re always the one giving but never receiving. If you were being honest, you would have never expected such emotional depth from a college point guard. He drew you in with his gentleness, and you noticed how different he was from Yuta, who engulfed you with his intensity. You also hated how even now, you were still thinking of him.

Just then, you got his third message for the night:

asshole [03:35]:come on baby don’t ignore mee, me and the guys were just messing around

you [03:36]:stop texting me

you [03:38]:we’re done

You locked your phone, upset and angry, and felt Jaehyun sigh.

“I know I’m falling for her stupid games, but I just want to get back at her y’know? Show her what she’s missing, that type of thing”

You knew exactly what he was talking about. During the past hours, you weighted all the possible ways you could make Yuta regret ever taking you for granted.

He was so charming that he could get laid with anyone he wanted (and probably did, even when you were ‘dating’), but even after what he said to Taeil, you knew that he hated the thought of anyone else fucking you. He wanted your body to be his, without having to deal with the commitment that came with that privilege.

You thought about fucking one of his frat buddies, but that would get you from being called ‘Yuta’s girl’ to ‘ΘΨΩ’s cumslut’, and your self esteem couldn’t take that blow.

Jaehyun’s deep voice interrupted your train of thoughts.

“Maybe Johnny’s right”

“Huh? ”

“You should date me”

You blinked at him twice, not knowing what to reply when you saw him wave his hands frantically in front of his face.

“Fake date me! I mean, you should fake date me. Sorry, the weed’s got me a little fucked up”

At first, the idea seemed crazy. Yes, it would make Yuta furious that you were supposedly fucking one of the hottest guys on campus. Yes, Naeun would get mad that she didn’t have Jaehyun’s constant attention that she so craved anymore. Yes, you two might have revealed your deepest insecurities, opened up your hearts to each other all while sharing a bottle of alcohol, but you had never hanged out together without Johnny being present. You had barely hanged out together, period. But wouldn’t that make it even more believable? Two of Johnny’s best friends break up at the same time, meet up at his house and inevitably end up together. You didn’t share the same major, so you wouldn’t have to put up the act too much at college. And with social media, making a fake relationship believable was easier than ever.

asshole [03:42]: fuck you. you think you can find someone better than me?

Drunk and lacking logic, you agreed on the plan, and gave him your number. You had just finished creating the contact on his phone when he suddenly got up and rushed to the bathroom, facing the consequences of the tequila and weed combo.

You passed out on Johnny’s bean bag and when you woke up on Sunday afternoon, Jaehyun was gone.

———————————————————

You didn’t expect him to text you on Monday, thinking that it was intoxication that gave him the idea of fake dating and made it look brilliant. So when he gave you the address to his dorm, to further discuss your ‘operation’ you were surprised, but determined to succeed.

The plan was simple. You would start tagging each other on your instagram stories, to show people that you were spending time alone. He agreed to pick you up from your lecture on Wednesday, your classes coinciding on neighboring buildings. And for you final act, he’d come with you as your plus one for the frat’s party next Sunday. Mark was nice enough to invite you, after Yuta ‘forgot’ to do it instead, and Naeun, being Taeil’s sister, wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was the perfect opportunity to flaunt your new relationship, all while being on the opponent’s part of the field.

You started off innocently enough. After you and Jaehyun finished brainstorming ideas about the ‘operation’ as he insisted on calling it, he suggested you stay for a movie and some Chinese food. His dorm was cozy, a little messy, maybe, but it fitted his boyish charm. He had a nice collection of vinyls, stating that his favorite one was I. by Cigarettes After Sex. You were a bit taken aback by his love for dreampop and rnb, but the more you got to know him, the more it seemed to fit him nicely. On the wall next to his bed hung a display full of all of his sport trophies. He was known for his basketball skills, but you also saw medals for soccer, track, volleyball. Amongst them all was an English certificate and a spelling bee award. You wondered if he ever felt pressure trying to be so perfect all the time.

The movie was terrible, but Jaehyun managed to entertain you by making silly jokes throughout and mocking the actors’ bad acting. It was the first time you ever saw him crack a joke like that and be willing to contort his handsome features. So much better than the dream boy image he was feigning for everyone, but you didn’t know him well enough to tell him. The movie was halfway done when he picked up his phone and opened a camera app through his Instagram.

“Shouldn’t we take a story? Since we’re together anyways?”

You nodded and scooted closer to him. He was a bit hesitant as he positioned the camera to capture your legs that were touching, a scene from the movie playing in the background. It was a cute picture but nothing indicated that the two of you were more than friends. You pressed the X at the top of the screen to discard the picture, and placed his hand on top of your thigh. You turned around just in time to witness his ears turning into a fuschia pink.

“Is that okay?”

He nodded and regained his cool, taking the picture and tagging you with a red heart next to your username.

A couple hours after leaving his place you texted him, asking if Naeun had replied to his story. He said that unfortunately, the only person who batted an eye was Johnny, replying with a “ 👀 👀 👀 “ .

———————————————————

You met up again the next day, at your apartment this time.

He looked nervous being in a place so foreign to him yet so personal to you, so you decided to turn the lights down to help him relax, insisting that you weren’t trying to seduce him or anything. He laughed at your joke but still looked tense, and you thought that maybe he needed some liquid courage to open up.

“Hey Jae. Want a drink?”

It took him 3 beers to finally loosen up and show you his dimpled grin again. You were sitting on the floor, facing each other and feeling comfortable in the ambience of the room. A Spotify playlist was playing in the background so it would fill up the awkward silence but wouldn’t distract you from your conversation.

“Wait wait wait. So you sleep without a pillowcase?”

“Yeah, didn’t you notice it when you came to my place yesterday?”

“I thought you forgot to do your laundry!”

His laugh was resonating and deep and manly. It made his eyes disappear and his face light up, not that it didn’t anyway - the guy could easily be a skin care ambassador, and you made a mental note to ask him about his moisturizer later.

You followed his gaze to one of your walls. Pictures were filling it up, memories of yourself and your siblings, of your friends from home that you missed, of Johnny and Jungwoo. You felt a little insecure then, comparing them to Jaehyun’s countless medals and awards.

“I’m not good at sports like you, so I have nothing else to hang on my wall”, you laughed awkwardly but he shook his head.

“No, I’m actually jealous of you. Everyone always seems to want to be around you”

“Except Yuta”

“Yuta’s an idiot, then. You are way out of his league anyways.”

You felt yourself turning into a blushing mess and looked for a way to break the awkward silence that followed his comment.

“Wanna share another one?” you asked him, shaking the empty beer bottle on your hand and he nodded. You started getting up when you felt him put a hand on your shoulder and pick up the bottles you had finished up from the table himself. He rinsed them off and put them away to the recycling bag next to your sink, the domesticity of the action making you melt. You watched as he stood on his tiptoes to reach a lager from the top drawer of your fridge, revealing a defined set of abs and two cute dimples on his lower back. You ripped your eyes away immediately, like you were caught doing something illegal, and he walked back to his spot next to you. As soon as he sat down, he groaned and threw his head back.

“The bottle opener was on the kitchen counter. I forgot to bring it”

Without saying a word, you took the beer from his hand and placed the cap in your mouth. It was a party trick that your older brother had taught you when you were 15. After finding a stable indentation on your teeth, you manipulate the rough edges of the cap and pop the beer open. You return the glass bottle to Jaehyun, who’s looking at you incredulously.

“Fuck me, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen”, he breaths out and you feel your whole face burning up. You opened and closed your mouth a couple times, trying to register that someone like him thought you were hot, when you felt your phone vibrating, saving you from further embarrassing yourself.

Johnny’s picture lit up on the screen and you mentally prepared yourself for the following conversation. You and Jaehyun decided against telling anyone about your relationship being fake. It’s not that your best friend wasn’t reliable, but if you told Johnny you had to tell Jungwoo, and Jungwoo doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut to save his life.

“John, what’s up”

“Eyy chica what took you so long?”

You looked at Jaehyun who had leaned back against the pillow of your couch and sipped on the beer you would share.

“Yeah sorry I was a little busy”

“Busy.. with Jaehyun?”

You tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, but you were still trying to recover from the previous incident.

“Yeah, he’s here”

“Ohh I see, little y/n can’t get enough of Jae’s slam dunks.. I bet he’s teaching you the bank shot, the opening tip, the double dribble, the fast break, the palming.. he sure is great for a rebound-”

You interrupted him, growing tired of his nonstop basketball innuendos.

“Why did you call me Johnny?”

“Damn, sorry, I just wanted to ask you what you wanted for your birthday”

Shit, you forgot about that.

“Just get me whatever, I don’t care, you know how much I hate celebrating anyways. I’ll get the cake myself, so no surprises”

Jaehyun lifted his brows and waited patiently for your call to end before asking:

“What are we celebrating?”

“It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m going to invite a couple people over and Johnny’s already stressing over it. Don’t worry, though, you don’t have to come”

“How can your boyfriend not come to your birthday party?”

You laugh bitterly.

“Well, it’s not like Yuta came last year. To any of my parties for that matter”

“Well, he must have made up to you somehow? Got you a very special gift or something?”

“If you count eating me out as a gift then yes. It was very rare indeed.”

You took the beer from him and took a sip yourself. You noticed he had his eyes glued on his phone, his expression gloomy.

“Is everything okay?”

He snapped out of it at the sound of your voice and turned his phone screen towards you.

It was Naeun, or rather a post on her instagram account. She had her tongue out in the picture, hugging two guys that were unfamiliar to you. You read the caption.

“One day the loser will realize that the diamond he thinks he’s playing with is actually a rock”

Jaehyun mumbled an apology. I guess he thought that you’d be a bit offended being called a ‘rock’ but you were actually feeling satisfied. Your fake relationship had managed to get her attention, and for Jaehyun’s sake, you wanted to rub it in her face even more.

You opened your camera app and placed your phone on the table next to you. He figured what you wanted to do so he sat up straighter and motioned to his lap. You’d normally be a bit hesitant to sit on him if it wasn’t for the two beers and your determination, that had fired up again due to Naeun’s words. Leaning back a bit, you set up the self-timer and he put his hands on your hips to stabilize you.

You had agreed on turning up the boldness of your pics, so you placed your hands on his neck, right under his jawline. He snaked his hands upwards and wrapped them around your waist, bringing you even closer. His eyes were glossy from the alcohol and he looked at you with an impressive calmness, considering the intimacy of your position. It seemed like he was waiting for something, the ticking of the timer urging you to take things a bit further and he nodded, as if giving you permission. You leaned in, and pressed your lips on the corner of his mouth, like you couldn’t decide on kissing his dimple or his lips.

After hearing the click you climbed down from his lap, and prayed that the photo came out in focus. Your heart couldn’t handle another retake. From the angle of the camera, it seemed like you were a couple in love, sharing a sweet kiss on the lips. You added a cute caption and tagged him, so he could repost it later on his own account.

It hadn’t been 5 minutes before your phone lit up.

yutassan replied to your story: what the fuck?

You smiled triumphantly and showed the message to Jaehyun, who laughed at Yuta’s reaction. He gave you an excuse about some forgotten homework and how it was late and he has to go.

“Remember, I’ll pick you up tomorrow from class, so wait for me”

After he left, you thought about your almost kiss and the dimples of his back for way too long.

——————————————————

You exited the classroom with a growing headache. The lesson today seemed extra boring, and all you could think about was that you had to convince Johnny that it really took just three days for Jaehyun and you to officially start dating.

As promised, the pair waited for you at the end of the hallway, your best friend looking at the two of you expectantly. Jaehyun was a good actor, you thought, as he approached you before you got to reach them, meeting you halfway.

“Hey baby”, he smiled at you, the nickname turning your legs into jelly. He wrapped one arm around your shoulder, and kissed your cheek sweetly, making Johnny coo at the two of you.

“I can’t believe that I hadn’t thought about pairing the two of you together earlier”

He must have thought that the awkward body language and the silence that fell was a sign from you and Jae to leave you alone. He excused himself, saying something about “letting the young lovers swim in the pool of their love”, or something along those lines.

The two of you walked together, following the road to your next class that was just a few buildings away.

“So how has class, baby

You rolled your eyes at the insistent nickname, “you know that Johnny left us, like, 5 minutes ago, right?”

“Let me enjoy itttt”, he whined, “Naeun never let me call her anything like that”

“Why is that?”

He looked at his feet moving and frowned in thought.

“She said I was embarrassing her in front of her friends. I think she just didn’t want other guys to know that we were together”

You felt a pang of sadness and you realized that it always followed any conversation you two had about his and Naeun’s relationship.

“Well then if you call me baby, I can will you honey. Or sugarplum. Or pumpkin pie. Or-“

It was startling how fast Jaehyun pressed you up against the wall. In just a moment, he had put his hands on your waist, burying his face in your hair. You shivered when you felt his breath as he spoke against your neck.

“Yuta’s watching us”

All you could do was stay frozen in place, and listen with wide eyes.

“Huh?”

He chuckled at your response, but he replied patiently.

“Yuta? Your ex? He’s right over there. Figured we should give him a show”

And with that, he kissed you. Everything was happening so fast, that you could barely comprehend that Jaehyun, that was a stranger in the past weekend, was now making out with you at the hall, for everyone to see.

And that included Yuta.

You opened your eyes in the kiss and searched for him, spotting him with his frat buddies. His eyes were piercing through the two of you, and you saw Mark holding him back by the shoulder. The look on his face was priceless.

Jaehyun pulled back and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Thank you”, you whispered, “but I need one more favor”

“Anything baby”

“Slap my ass as we walk away”

Sure enough, Jaehyun took your hand and you continue your walk, momentarily stopping to make eye contact with Yuta and give you a little spank. It was something your ex loved doing on the rare occasion you two met up outside of your dorms, no matter how public the setting. You heard Mark yelling something at his ‘Yuta hyung’ and that’s when you thought, your plan just might work.

———————————————————

You didn’t see Jaehyun until your birthday. It was just a small get together, but your place was starting to get a bit crowded as time went by. Johnny had been suffocating you with hugs ever since he got there, reminiscing the time you met as teenagers and calling you an old lady. Jungwoo on the other hand couldn’t stop asking about Jaehyun. You kept making excuses about how he didn’t feel so good today and might not make it. You didn’t expect him to come, of course. Just because you had agreed on fake dating, it didn’t mean that he had any obligation to be present in all your social events. The loving message he left on your Facebook wall was enough to fulfill the purpose of your current relationship.

That is why, when you heard a knock on your door, the last thing you thought you’d see was Jaehyun holding a dozen of red roses.

“Happy birthday baby!”, he exclaimed and gave you a kiss on your cheek,

“I asked Johnny about your favorite flowers, hope we got it right”

Feeling speechless, you took the roses from his hands and inhaled their sweet scent. You were dumbfounded that he actually came, and even brought you a present. You thanked him for coming, and he repeated the same thing he said back at your place, “how could your boyfriend miss your birthday?”

And even you were fooled, momentarily, when he held you by the waist later that night and sang you happy birthday. You blew your candles and all you could wish for was a love like the one Jaehyun was faking for you. He helped you clean up, and was more than willing to socialize with all of your friends. You admired how well he fitted in your social circle, already friends with Johnny and Jungwoo, yet so nice that even people he met for the first time came to love him.

You were sitting on one of your dining chairs, your two best friends already passed out on your couch. They had brought two bottles of vodka and your favorite tequila, but you weren’t in the mood to drink. You couldn’t help but remember the time when you practically begged Yuta to be there on your special day and he still missed it. You were scared that if you got a little drunk you would text him, or worse, call him, his sweet talk bringing you back to him all over again.

The only sounds resonating through your apartment were Jungwoo’s light snoring and a chill Spotify playlist playing from your laptop. A familiar tune came on, and you recognized it being ‘Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby’ by Cigarettes After Sex. You immediately looked at Jaehyun, the only conscious person still at the party other than you. He threw his head back and sighed contently at the sound of his favorite song. You saw him get up and walk over to you, reaching his hand out.

“Will the birthday girl spare me a dance?”

You slow danced in the middle of your living room, ending the night in the sweetest note. Jaehyun always felt so stable, so safe. You wondered how he got himself tangled up in that mess of a relationship with Naeun. Maybe it was the way he treated people with such kindness, void of any prejudice. Maybe he was a little bit like you, and didn’t think he deserved much.

“She’s crazy” you mumble against his chest, his confused hum making you feel the vibration on your face.

“Naeun. She’s crazy for ever cheating on someone like you. You’re perfect”

“I have my flaws”

You thought about how competitive he got when you played beer pong earlier, how his ears get red when he gets embarrassed, how he shows his dimpled smile in apology when he’s late. His love for drinking and how it makes him more honest, his trust in people that must have gotten him hurt many, many times. You liked them all, you loved them all.

“It’s just so hard for someone not to fall in love with you”

———————————————————

And that’s how the days went by with Jaehyun. You met up almost every day, in restaurants for a nice dinner, or hanging out in each other’s dorm. It was so much fun getting to spend time with him, that you sometimes forgot to make your meetup public on social media. You helped him with his math homework, and he helped you dye your hair. You even went to his basketball game, and he dedicated one of his goals to you, following every teen movie cliche.

You felt a little sad how it was all falling to an end. The plan was successful, for the most part. Naeun had asked Jaehyun to meet up later tonight, talk things through. You wished he wouldn’t go back to her, but you knew you had no real say in his love life. Yuta saw that he didn’t own you, that there were people like Jaehyun that were willing to give you what your ex had promised you, but wasn’t able to give. Well, not really, you reminded yourself. Jaehyun was faking it. You shouldn’t let yourself get lost in the fairytale, even if the past two weeks were some of the best of your life. He had proposed that you claim that the reason for your upcoming ‘breakup’ was differences in character, but you decided to stay friends. You were happy that at least, in the midst of all this mess, you met someone like him.

It was Saturday, a day before the frat party. You had invited him over, celebrate the end of your relationship with some pizza and a movie.

The movie was boring, but Jaehyun made you laugh. It reminded you of the first time the two of you met up alone. You had gotten comfy on your couch, sharing popcorn when you noticed. A huge bruise was peeking out from Jaehyun’s tank top, the dark color contrasting against his porcelain skin.

“What the hell?!” you exclaimed and scooted closer to him. You rushed your hands on his chest, your fingers pushing the fabric aside to examine the bruise. You found even more bruises scattered around it, accompanied with scratches that stretched longer than his top could.

“It was from the game the other day”, he tried to excuse, but you weren’t buying it.

“Jae, I was there. You played basketball, not WWE. Now who did this to you?”

He sighed and fidgeted with a loose string on his jeans, clearly uncomfortable.

“When I caught Naeun with my roommate, and broke up with her, she didn’t take it very well”

You kept staring at him, urging him to continue.

“She started calling me names, saying that she’s the best I’ll ever have. That I’m worthless without her, just a social climber trying to mooch off of her popularity”

He motioned on his torso, “When I kicked her out of my place, this happened”

“Is that the first time she acted violent?”

He shook his head. “Pretty much every time she didn’t get her way”

“Jae”, you started, placing your hands on top of his “this is abuse. Have you ever talked to anyone about it?”

“It’s- it’s nothing. It’s embarrassing”

“No it’s not! Abuse is not exclusive to any gender! Guys get affected by it too!”

“It’s embarrassing because I know I can physically stop her but I don’t”

His eyes were starting to water, the sight was heartbreaking. “I sit there frozen and just take it”

“Why?”

“Because part of me believes her. That I’m hopeless without someone like her, dictating what I can and cannot do. I don’t need a shrink to tell me that it’s sick. I have these bruises to remind me”

You were starting to get angry. Angry at that bitch for hurting him, angry at Jaehyun who puts up with it, angry at you, for not seeing past the obvious like everyone else.

“I’m not letting you go see her tonight”

He laughs at you, putting up an invisible barrier between you.

“Not letting me? Wake up y/n! We’re not a real couple, remember? We’re just faking it to satisfy our selfish needs. This whole thing is pointless”

He stormed to the door and you tried to stop him, but he was too riled up for that.

“You’re going to forget about me as soon as this whole circus is over, just like everyone else”

“How can you accuse me like that when you haven’t even let me be a part of your life for real?”

“Because now you’ve met me. Me. With all my ugly, all my fucking bruises. Is it still so hard not to fall in love with me?”

With that, he closed your door with a bang, not even letting you answer that yes, it was impossible not to fall in love with Jung Jaehyun.

———————————————————

History seemed to repeat itself, as you got a text from him the next morning, that you didn’t expect.

jaehyunnie: let’s meet outside of the frat at 10:30, i’ll bring the booze.

And that’s what you did, showing up with your shortest skirt, spotting Jaehyun sitting a few meters from the frat’s entrance. He was laying against the wall, his eyes red, and he gave you the same smile he always did when he saw you, as if your fight yesterday never happened.

“Hey baby” he said and pulled you in for a hug. You couldn’t resist the invitation, and felt yourself melting in his embrace. He smelled like weed and shower gel.

It was nice, how he proclaimed your truce, but you still had to get something off your chest.

“Listen, Jae, about last night, you were right. This whole thing is pointless. We can go home, if you want”

“No baby”, he started and pulled away just enough to look at you. His eyes were droopy but glancing back at you with such care as he moved a strand of hair out of your face, “we’re here to have fun”

You wondered why he was still willing to come to the party with you as your boyfriend. Maybe he wanted to do you one last favor with Yuta, or maybe he wasn’t done indulging in Naeun’s petty games. You looked at his forearms, noticing a few scratches that weren’t there yesterday.

“I’m guessing you and Naeun didn’t make up last night”

He shook his head, and rubbed his hands on your back, keeping your temper down.

“Did you get in a fight?”

“Something like that”

You didn’t know what came over you. It was anger and protectiveness, possessiveness even. You laced your fingers in his locks, letting his head rest against the wall. If Naeun wanted you to speak in her language, then so be it.

You started kissing his neck, on that part on the side that is tender and sensitive. You heard passerbys whistling at the two of you, seemingly getting it on in public. Your licks and sucks weren’t meant for pleasure though, you had a goal and that was to leave a bruise. A statement for Naeun.

You walked in the building hand in hand and followed Jae to the kitchen, where he poured you a drink out of the bottle he brought along. Looking around, you sensed a couple familiar faces staring back at you from the crowd. Taeyong from class, Mark and Ten, and last but not least, Naeun. You downed the drink in one shot and lead Jaehyun to the dance floor.

He put his hands on your hips, and swayed you at the sound of some club song you weren’t familiar with. You ground your ass against him and he hissed, keeping you close against him. A little voice in your head was screaming how this isn’t real, to him this is all pretend, but you ignored it. You wanted her to think that he was yours, that she couldn’t hurt him anymore.

“Why are you doing this to me y/n? Yuta’s not even around”

Jae turned you around, and you put your hands on his shoulders. He looked absolutely breathtaking tonight. You searched his face for a flaw, yet couldn’t find any. You wouldn’t change a single thing on him.

“She’s here” you said venomously.

He buried his face in your neck, inhaling the smell of your hair and trying to ground himself from his high. “I don’t give a fuck about Naeun”

He kissed your ear and your mind fogged up even more.

“She didn’t ask me to meet up yesterday, I did. I wanted to tell her that she and I were done, for good. I thought she wouldn’t be here tonight, but I guess she changed her mind”

What?

“Then why are you here? And why did you let me give you that big ass hickey?”

He stopped nibbling on your ear, and whispered to it instead.

“I’d never miss up on a chance to feel yours”

The bodies dancing next to you, the liquer you had downed a few minutes ago and Jaehyun’s words were getting too much to handle. You felt suffocated, unable to distinguish where reality ended and pretending began with you two.

“Jae, I need a moment, excuse me”

Releasing yourself from his grasp, you made your way to the kitchen. There wasn’t any fresh air, but there was plenty of booze. You poured yourself a shot and as you downed it, you felt another liquid trickling down your top.

You looked up to find out who managed to make this night even worse for you, only to come across the last person you needed to see tonight. Yuta.

“Shit I’m sorry”, he muttered and you avoided eye contact, thinking you’d manage to get away without him realizing it was you. Luck wasn’t on your side tonight.

“Well well well. Long time no see.”

Confidence was dripping from his smile, to his stance, to the way he looked at you. He had dyed his hair your favorite color, his white locks begging to be tugged and played with. To top it all off, he smelled good, so, so good. He smelled dangerous. Comfortable.

You immediately realized that you didn’t have the self control needed to resist him. Turning on your heel, you started to get the hell out of there when he held your wrist, keeping you in place.

“Wait, I’m sorry, you can’t stay like this, you’ll catch a cold”

“Since when are you worried about me?”

“C’mon y/n, please. Come upstairs, I’ll give you a clean shirt. No funny business, I promise”

You hated yourself for this, but you followed him upstairs to his room, like a pray falling right into the hunter’s trap. He closed the door behind him, muting the loud music and you sat on his bed that you were so familiar with. Looking through his closet, he passed you one of his t-shirts, and turned around to let you change with some privacy. It was comical how chivalrous he was acting, considering the unspeakable things you’ve done in here.

“Not like you’ll see something you haven’t seen already”, you murmured and he chuckled, raising his hands.

“Hey, I’m a gentleman. It’s my fault, after all. I have a habit of getting you wet.”

Blushing at his comment, you quickly changed into the clean shirt and felt the bed dip next to you. You thanked him under your breath and started getting up, when you felt him hold you back once again.

“Stay, just a moment. I’ve missed you”

“What do you want?”

“You, baby”

Yuta was the one who said it, but you swore you felt Jaehyun’s voice reverberating through the nickname. Suddenly, it felt like there was no air for you to breathe.

“That’s not happening, Yuta. I’m with Jaehyun now”

He scoffed, “Jaehyun? Naeun’s puppy? Come on now, we both know you can do better than that”

“Don’t talk about him like that”, you bite back, but he doesn’t budge.

“What kind of boyfriend leaves his girl alone in a party like this?” He grips your chin, making you stare at him face to face, impossibly close. “Look at you. Every single guy in this party wants to fuck you. You expect me to be ok with this?”

Yuta lets his other hand glide on your knee, moving up to your thigh slowly. He smiled at how easy it was to focus on him.

“Do you remember how I made you feel? How I reminded you that you’re mine? You were moaning so loud, Mark thought you’d pass out. You loved it.”

You wanted to scream, tell him that this was the past you, that you couldn’t take going back to him once again and get your heart broken one more time, but you felt helpless around him. The warm feeling was only temporary, it would soon evaporate when you face the fact that to him, you are nothing but a play toy, a possession.

And that’s when Jaehyun barged in through the door. His eyes moved frantically from Yuta’s hands on your thighs, to his band tee you wore, to your discarded top on the floor. He quickly turned red, the color spreading from his neck to his face, then landing on his ears.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?”

You instantly got up, following his thought sequence.

“It’s not what it looks like! He spilled his drink on me and gave me a clean shirt and..and..”

“And you decided to sit on his lap to thank him?”, he mocked you and Yuta laughed.

“Calm down, dude. I didn’t make her do anything. Besides, it’s not the first time y/n found her way over here after some disappointing dick”

Jaehyun grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up from the bed, forcing him to stand and face him. You moved between the two, trying to stop the catastrophe that was about to happen. Jae might have more muscle power than Yuta, but if the whole frat ganged up on him he would have to leave this place in a stretcher.

“Jaehyun please, let’s just go. Baby, please”

The nickname was the only thing that brought him out of his rage and made him listen to you. He let go of Yuta and took your hand, dragging you out of the room.

You were two hallways down when you pulled away, forcing him to stop.

“Why did you have to get so mad?”

“Why the fuck did you go back to him?”

“I didn’t! It was just.. so hard for me to tell him no”

You felt your eyes water with how pathetic you sounded. Jaehyun rubbed his hands over his face, groaning in frustration.

“Don’t you understand how much it fucking hurts? To see you with that guy that treats you like shit when I’m right here, willing to give you everything? When I’m in love with you?”

You couldn’t process what he said because in a moment, his mouth was on yours. The kiss was so different than the one you shared at the hallway of your campus. It was passionate, it was rough, and this time, he monopolized your attention. His lips were determined to bruise into yours, leaving you breathless and causing your back to fall against a wall. It was crowded around you, eyes prying into your intimate moment but to you, the only person around was Jaehyun.

“You smell like him”, he growled, sucking on the tender spot under your ear, “makes me wanna fuck his scent off of you”

That was all you needed to hear. You led him to the frat’s guest room, knowing that Taeil always kept a spare key in the lamp next to the door. Unlocking the door seemed like a tour de force with Jaehyun leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck, but you finally managed to stumble inside. You locked the door behind you, continuing your heated kiss, hands roaming around each other’s body.

He was taller than you, so when you felt him grab your ass with such eagerness, you almost lifted off the ground. You palmed him through his jeans, the roughness of his hard on making your panties stick from wetness just a bit more.

“I want to taste you” you managed through kisses, but he just unzipped your skirt as a response, pulling it to the floor in one hasty move. Petting your clit through your underwear, a shiver ran down your spine, spreading goosebumps all over your arms and legs.

“I don’t think I have the patience for that”

He walked you backwards towards the guest bed, taking his pants and shirt off along the way. You sat on the edge of it and admired his godly proportions, when you took notice of the bruises and scratches that led to your fight on Saturday. Suddenly feeling the need to slow down, you started leaving kisses over each and every one of them. You wanted him to trust you, give in to you completely. He had his flaws just like he said, but you wanted all of him. And you wanted him now.

“I need you, now”, you voiced your thoughts and helped him take off his boxers, revealing his hard cock. He was thick and decently long, making your mouth water and your pussy clench.

Towering on top of you, he removed your panties that were embarrassingly damp at this point, and by his smirk, you knew he noticed.

Jaehyun bent your legs next to your torso, making you expose all of you. He licked his lips as he dove into your lower ones, muttering praises about your “pretty pussy”, turning you impossibly wet.

Jung Jaehyun never disappoints, you thought, because the moment you felt the first lap over your sensitive bud, you got a taste of heaven. He alternated between licking and sucking over the spot that turned you into putty against him. You were already unbearably turned on at this point, and the changing pace of his tongue made you lose your mind.

Your pants and moans only seemed to urge him on, and after a few minutes of his careful treatment you felt yourself getting close. He must have sensed it, because when you grabbed the bedpost in an effort to stop shaking, he stood on his knees, and reached for a condom in his wallet.

You didn’t have time to complain about the denial of your orgasm, and started taking Yuta’s shirt off, when he grabbed your hands and placed them back on their previous position on the headboard.

“Don’t”, he said sternly as he lined himself up your entrance, “I want to fuck you in his shirt”

There was no time to think about whether his request was healthy or not, because when you felt him stretch you out, the only thing on your mind was him and his dick.

You let out a deep moan and he took it as a sign to screw himself deeper inside you. Your pussy gushed uncontrollably, filling the room with the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. You unlaced your fingers and ran them down his back, ghosting them over the dimples that had affected you so much.

Jaehyun lowered himself, letting his chest touch yours, and you could feel his abs contracting over the fabric of Yuta’s shirt.

“I bet he’s never eaten you out like that, yeah?”

“N-no, never, ahh”

He sat up again, putting your legs over his shoulders and lifted your butt off the mattress, gripping your hips to steady himself before continuing his incredible pace.

“You’re mine, aren’t you baby? Mine to give you everything.”

The position felt divine. He was hitting it incredibly deep, reaching the spot that had you moaning so loud you were thankful for the unbearably loud music of the party. You were sure his fingers would leave a mark over your hipbones but you didn’t care, the pain only accentuating the warm feeling in your belly.

“J-Jae don’t stop - fuck don’t stop I’m gonna cum”

He leaned over, grabbing your face that was contorting in pleasure.

“Look at me when you cum for me”, he demanded, and when you rolled your eyes behind your head, letting go, he let out his first moan for the night.

He kissed your lips sweetly, helping you ride out your high.

“You’re so beautiful, my baby. So, so beautiful”, he praised and you submitted fully to him. He turned your body around, positioning you in all fours, and you wondered where the gentle boy you met at Johnny’s house went. His dick buried in you once again, spreading your juices around and the sensitivity of your previous orgasm made you aware of every single inch.

“So fucking tight”

Jaehyun didn’t go easy on you. He saw how much you liked it, how you were pushing your ass against his cock. He pounded in and out of you with the intention of fucking your thoughts out, and that’s just what he did. When the feeling got too much, and making any sort of noise seemed like a feat, you felt him push your hair back, and start biting on your neck, most definitely leaving a mark.

“I’m gonna cum. Fuck, I’m gonna cum”, he muttered, his voice wavering and you felt him release in the condom inside you.

It took a while for the both of you to regain your breaths. Jaehyun’s chest was heaving up and down as you rest your head on top of it, not brave enough to break the silence.

“I’m sorry”, he finally said and started petting your hair lovingly.

“About what?”

The bed was foreign and small but you both stayed still, wanting to bask a little more in the peacefulness of the moment.

“About getting so possessive, and saying all these things out of jealousy. I acted just like him..”

You kissed his left peck, listening to his heart that was starting to beat in a faster pace.

“Jaehyun, you’re nothing like Yuta. I get how you felt, I feel the same way when I think about you with Naeun”

He took your hand that was resting on his abs and planted a kiss on your palm. Your heart did a flip and you were pressed so close together, he sure must have felt it.

“I should have told you about her sooner. About the fights and how I let her go because of you. I was in denial about my feelings for you because-“

He stopped mid sentence, wary of the way his words would come off to you. Jaehyun was a proud man, but he opened up his heart tonight, admitting he was in love with you. He had already exposed so much of himself that you gave him the time he needed to organize his thoughts.

“Because I was insecure. That you would never like someone like me. That Naeun was right. That you were only interested in playing pretend with me and didn’t mean any of the things you said, and I let myself get carried away in a lie”

You and Jaehyun were two lost souls, trying to break free from the constraints your insecurities built up for you. You didn’t have to succumb to your masochistic tendencies anymore, wasting your time in heartless lovers because now you found him and he found you. Both unable to see any value in themselves, but more that willing to treasure the other. And that was enough for you.

“I’d be honored to be loved by someone like you. Baby.”

[notdonesimpin]

Sorcery ~r.s.~

ceo!ryomen sukuna x gn!reader

warnings: sukuna in a suit??, fluff

synopsis: [request by @draconic-dumbass​ ] “two unlikely people bound together by what some call fate, but to them, it must be sorcery” OR the reader doesn’t take care of themselves and sukuna has to do it for them.

a/n:  For fic purposes, Sukuna has his own two armed body. I wanted a CEO!AU where curses don’t exist, okay? Sukuna’s just a man who looks great in a suit. The curse aspect isn’t really needed in the way it’s portrayed in the show so i don’t wanna think about it😣 don’t hate me.

The door opens as you peek your head in the hallway to see Sukuna roughly loosen his tie with a huff and unbutton the top of his shirt as he takes off his shoes. 

“Long day?” you ask.

“My assistant cried today if that tells you anything. They overbooked me, and didn’t realize it until this morning.”

Your eyes narrow, “What did you say to the poor thing? She didn’t cry for nothing.”

Sukuna throws his hands up defensively as he walks over to you with a teasing smile, “I didn’t say anything! Though, I wanted to say a lot. I think she got the message when I sent her home.” The last part came out in a mutter, but you heard it well.

You hit him in the chest, “This is why you can’t keep an assistant! You’re too aggressive. I liked that one, too.”

“Well, I had an amazing assistant for years, but they quit when their husband told them to focus on art. My days ran so smoothly, and I had a beautiful sight all hours of the day,” he says, wrapping his arms around you as he continues, “Was I too aggressive with you?”

“You could barely say a sentence around me when we first met, Ryo. Don’t get cocky.”

Before he could say anything else, there was a knock on the door and you moved to answer it.

“It’s just Nao. They’re being my other model for today! I can’t model and draw myself, so I needed an amazing stand-in. How about you rest for a bit and I’ll do Nao’s solo poses and get you when I need you?” you suggested as you opened the door.

“It’s been a while. Good to see you, Y/N. Sukuna,” Nao says, giving Sukuna a wave and you a small hug.

“Nao, don’t fuck up while I’m not there,” Sukuna jokes, turning around to walk towards the bedroom.

“I’ve been doing this longer than you. I think I got it.”

“Don’t take those clothes off! The more wrinkles, the better!” you call after him.

~

You softly shake Sukuna. “Ryo, I need you to model for me now.”

He groans, opening his eyes to see you beaming at him. “It’s not fair, your face makes it hard to say no.”

“Then get up, so I can finish for today!” you urge.

He follows you to the living area with sleepiness still extremely apparent on his face. 

“No wonder you chose him to be your muse for the King of Curses. He’s like The Walking Dead right now,” Nao laughs, earning a glare from Sukuna as you drag him to the spot you want him.

“You still haven’t told me anything about your art show,” Sukuna reminds you. 

“Hands in pockets please…” you gesture to your own pockets when you make the statement and Sukuna lazily complies as you continue talking and telling him what to do. “My theme is Sorcery. Take a step but don't step… There! I wanted to do three bigger panels for my main showcase. They have the King of Curses- AKA you- and the ruler of blessings- aka Nao but Nao is just modeling so I can shade the pose right and put myself in it. Then the middle panel will be them together. Look at the ground. Now, only bring your eyes up the look at me… Perfect! Stay still. Basically it shows two unlikely people bound together by what some call fate, but to them, it must be sorcery.”

~

You yawn, waking up the sound of Sukuna roaming around the penthouse. You check your phone to see the time. 4:36 A.M.

You suddenly find yourself wide awake and decide to get up and work on your rough sketches. 

You go out of your shared room, rubbing your eyes as you adjust to the light and walk to the kitchen.

“Where the hell is my…” Sukuna’s muttering comes to a stop when he sees you sitting at the island, drinking a glass of water as you wait for the coffee pot to get ready.

“Good morning,” you softly say with a yawn.

“Why are you up? Did I wake you?” Sukuna asks, buttoning the cuffs of the shirt and walking over to you.

“I need to work on the rough sketches anyways since my canvases come in today. I’m so behind,” you groan, “What are you looking for?”

“My passport. I swear I grabbed it from home before I came here.”

He watches you tie his tie for him as he tries to recall where it might be.

“It’s definitely at home on the kitchen counter. I saw it before I left. I meant to grab it for you. Sorry, Ryo.”

He tosses his head back in frustration, “Why is this penthouse so inconveniently located. I have to go in the opposite direction of the office and the airport to go home and get it.”

“You’re the one that said my apartment was too small to be my studio.”

“I know.”

“And that I should separate home from work.”

“I know.” He squeezes your cheeks to stop you from talking. “I don’t regret buying this penthouse for your work. You get an ocean view and you have an entire space to do your work. I’d buy you the entire building if you needed it.”

He lets go of your face and you say, “Okay, Mr. CEO. All you had to say was that you love me.”

He chuckles and pours two cups of coffee, handing you one of them. “This business trip is pretty short, so I should be back around afternoon or tomorrow night at the latest.” He checks his watch, “I should go, so I don’t be late with my detour.” 

He grabs his blazer off of the back of the chair, sliding it on as he walks towards the door with you right behind him. He slips his shoes on and turns to you, giving you a soft kiss.

“Be safe. I love you.” you say.

“I love you. Don’t overwork yourself while I’m gone.”

As soon as the door closed, you muttered: Sorry, Ryo. That’s exactly what I’m about to do.

~ 

A few hours later, you get a call from Sukuna and immediately answer.

“How’s the new assistant, Ryo?” you immediately ask.

He paused, glancing at the assistant beside him. “So this was your doing. I can’t say that I’m surprised. This one seems a lot more competent.”

“Don’t run him off. He knows how to run businesses well since he grew up with his father.”

“I got it. Mx. CEO,” he taunts, “How long have you been working?”

You glance at the time on your phone. 10:32A.M.

“Technically five hours but only been diligent for the past four hours. I finished my sketch for the King of Curses panel about an hour ago. So, I’ve just started drawing it on the canvas.”

“So, what I’m hearing is that it’s time to take a break and eat something,” He suggests, but you both know that it was a command. 

“I’m not going to pass out on you again, okay? I can take care of myself.”

“As you’ve proven on multiple occasions, you can’t. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you. Make good decisions!” You hang up and get back to work.

You didn’t know how much time had passed or how long you’d been actively moving around and working until your regular Wednesday at 11:30 alarm went off. 

Wait… Wednesday??? You’d only been up for a couple hours. How has an entire day passed without you even realizing it?

At the same time, you received a text from Sukuna: I have to stop by the office before heading to you, so I’ll take you wherever you’d like around one. 

“Shit!” you exclaim, typing back a quick response before rushing around the penthouse to clean and change your clothes.

Sukuna couldn’t know that you haven’t slept in the past 31 hours. 

By the time you cleaned up and got dressed, Sukuna was already at the penthouse, leaning against the kitchen counter and holding a glass of bourbon in his hands.

“Let me see your hands,” he requests.

You stick out your hands, trying to calm them down because both of you knew that you get really bad tremors when you haven’t slept in a while.

“I didn’t think you’d be back so early,” you softly spoke.

“Darling, I texted you. I guess it makes sense that you don’t remember since you responded with a jumble of letters,” he sighs, sticking his hands in his pockets as he shakes his head, “What am I going to do with you?”

“I just got really focused. I’m so close to finishing the King of Curses panel. I started the Ruler of Blessings panel as well… I gotta keep the ball rolling while it’s hot,” you explained.

“That isn’t healthy. How have you been painting? With the way your hands are shaking, you shouldn’t even be able to hold a paintbrush straight.”

“I was focused! And before you say it, I’m not tired, so I’ll just get back to work.”

He looks at you in amusement as you walk away. “Still as stubborn as ever.”

“I’ll stop after I finish the curse panel, okay?”

Before you could even get out of the kitchen, Sukuna had picked you up by your waist and started walking away.

“Ryomen Sukuna! Put me down!” you exclaim, “I told you, my feet stay on the ground!”

He laughs and continues walking, “I told you that if I want to pick you up, I will. If you think you’re heavy, then you’re wrong. You’re like a feather compared to what I lift at the gym, okay?”

You fall silent, letting him carry you all the way to the bathroom. He sits you on the counter and starts running the water for a bath. As you wait for the bath to fill up, he stands in between your legs, bringing his hands up to your face and lightly grazing underneath your eyes.

“They’re puffy…” he looks at you with a hint of sadness, “I understand that the art show is very important to you, but this is the third time in the past few months that I’ve had to physically stop you from overworking yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, your art will suffer, too.”

“I know. There’s just a lot of big names coming this time. I really want it to be good.”

“It will be because you’re an outstanding artist,” he reassures.

You give him a small thank you as he turns to stop the water and you shed your clothes, getting in and closing your eyes and enjoying the warmth.

“You see how nice hot water feels?” You could hear the teasing in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah. Self-care or whatever.” 

Sukuna begins to wash your body for you, humming a soft tune and lulling you to sleep.  He finishes washing you up and takes you to bed, putting one of his shirts on you and crawling in beside you, letting you wrap yourself around him to steal his warmth.

He softly smiles to himself and gives you a soft kiss on the top of your head as he whispers, “Sweet dreams.”

[lilhawkeye3]

Her Warrior

Rating: G+ ||| Word Count: 1.7k ||| Post Order 66 ||| AO3 Link

"Have you ever heard of Aayla Secura? ...she benefited the people of many worlds, and entered the folkloric cycles of several primitive cultures, where she often was merged with local historical figures or goddess-characters." (Legacy of the Force: Betrayal by Aaron Allston)

There's a bit of truth to every story. This one starts with CC-5052.

A/N: 😌✌🏽

CC-5052 didn’t give it much thought when he was assigned and shipped off to another outer core planet. Orders were orders, and he followed them.

Orders had said to execute Aayla, the General, the traitor Jedi, yet she had always treated them well. She had been a good leader, not like the others, not like what he heard of the Marines or of Umbara—

The headache came back. CC-5052 didn’t give it much thought.

———————

He knew there were others with headaches or fragmented memories. The first didn’t understand why order 66 had been followed. They were quickly sent off for medical checks to Kamino and reassigned.

Some had malfunctioning aggression inhibitors. They fought against the new nat born officers. They were sent on scouting missions or reassigned.

Some… some had headaches. Some of them complained of dread, or an ache behind their eyes. Some didn’t come back from the medbay. Some went to sleep in the barracks and didn’t wake up for their next shift.

A few turned their guns on themselves.

CC-5052 didn’t give that much thought either. It was safer not to.

———————

CC-5052 wondered if the change in environment for his deployment might reduce his headaches. Different planet, different atmospheric pressures, different stressors.

There are less soldiers that look like him on this mission. The number has been steadily dwindling. CC-5052 stays silent, so there won’t be a reason to decommission him.

The thoughts continue, but CC-5052 pushes them aside.

———————

The civilians of this planet don’t appreciate the Empire’s presence. This planet is just like every other CC-5052 has been deployed to in the past months. Another with rumors of a rebellious population, another that will not bow to the Empire’s might.

They’d ignored curfew warnings to huddle along the sides of the road that the stormtroopers now marched down. It was a show of force, and it seemed to be proving effective. CC-5052 took no joy in it– joy had no place – but he would ensure these citizens fell in line. He would not have the stain of failure on him or his squadron.

———————

The ignored curfews grow into assaults on isolated troopers. Rocks, trash, even food scraps. The people used anything they could get their hands on. CC-5052 didn’t see the point in increasing the amount of force on the majority of the perpetrators. Most of them were younglings. They weren’t innocent in the eyes of the Empire, but hurting them would only make the civilian population more volatile.

If ever asked for an opinion, CC-5052 would say a volatile population meant more room for error.

His superior officers would say that it meant for quicker use of force from their troops.

CC-5052 wasn’t asked, so he did as ordered.

———————

The first trooper murdered and left in an alley resulted in a riot, five dead civilians, and a dozen belligerents put into holding.

CC-5052 pulls a 36 hour shift and returns to the barracks with scuffed and dented armor, a damaged shoulder piece, and far fewer plasma rounds in his blaster than he had left with.

Two nights later, another trooper goes missing. This time, the investigation is led back to a group of street younglings who claimed to have been unfairly targeted by the newly recruited natborn and acted out of self-defense.

If CC-5052 was asked, he would believe the youngling’s account. One of them bore several fresh burn marks from a regulation blaster.

CC-5052 wasn’t asked.

When three of the younglings were arrested for treason and sentenced to death, the headaches returned.

———————

CC-5052 dreamed that night. He wasn’t certain when he’d last dreamt– or when he’d stopped.

It was dark, wherever he was. There was a body pressed against him, fingers in his hair while his thigh pressed up between strong legs. He could feel lips against his neck, breasts pressed against his chest, soft skin underneath his palms. They smelled of a sweet perfume– something from a flower on a planet he didn’t remember the name of– and when their lips met his again, they tasted of starlight.

His spine tingled with pleasure as warmth spread throughout him, and he bucked up against them, pushing them back against the wall so he could loom over them and tilt their chin up towards his face…

He found himself staring into sparkling hazel eyes. He knew those eyes. Those were hers, were–

———————

It was only years of training that kept CC-5052 from bolting upright as he suddenly awoke, skin flushed and heart racing faster than he could ever remember. He remained laid flat on his back for several more minutes, keeping still so he could force his vitals back to normal.

CC-5052 turns his face towards the wall and closes his eyes to try and get his migraine to subside.

———————

The migraine gets worse. CC-5052 alters his HUD to filter out brighter lights and dampen down on harsher sounds.

The days get longer, and the migraine gets worse.

———————

The riots continue to grow in size and fervor. Even the natborn officers know that reacting too strongly will cause a full-blown revolt. If that happens, the civilians won’t be the only ones being punished.

CC-5052’s head throbs in time with the chanting of the furious crowds below him in the city square.

———————

“Do you ever feel like what we’re doing here is wrong?” CT-2448 asks his bunkmate in the low of night.

CC-5052 remains silent despite the worsening pain behind his right eye. If he acknowledges the conversation, he’ll have to report them. Orders are orders are orders–

CC-5052 remains silent and listens.

“Does it matter?” Comes the weary response from CT-9357.

There are several heartbeats of quiet before the first trooper responds. “It used to.”

CC-5052 remains silent.

His migraine gets worse.

———————

The city glows a dusky orange the night it’s announced the younglings will be executed for treason against the Galactic Empire. The streets overflow with the fury of its people. CC-5052 and his fellow troopers are deployed.

The orders are to set blasters to kill.

CC-5052 fights through the increasing stabbing pain in his head and sets his to stun.

———————

He stumbles into a side street halfway through the night and tears his helmet off of his head, throwing it roughly to the ground. There are skirmishes echoing from deeper in the city, where he’d come from and been separated from his squad– his brothers, his mind supplies– are they even his brothers? So many have vanished, being replaced over the past few months.

Brothers. How had he forgotten that?

Orders are orders a good soldier follows orders–

He grips at his temple, staggering until his back hits a wall and he slides down to the soiled ground. The real battle is going on in his head, and everything else fades away in comparison.

Bly, a quiet voice whispers.

He whirls around, looking wildly for where it could’ve come from. There’s no one in sight, and yet he could’ve sworn the speaker was right next to him.

Just a bit further, Bly. A breeze caresses his cheek on an otherwise still night.

Who is Bly? He wants to shout his question, scream it to the sky. Why can he no longer tell up from down, right from wrong, orders are orders a good sold–

CC-5052 tries to rear his head one last time, but flowers and embers and starlight fill his nostrils without warning, and the constant agony behind his eye blows away like dust on the wind.

He’s not Bly– not yet, maybe not ever without Aa- without her– but he’s closer than he’s been in many, many months.

He’s not the Bly from before Felucia, but even the broken man he is now knows that this is wrong.

He won’t stand by and allow this to continue without doing anything.

———————

He left his helmet behind.

He would no longer act as the faceless will of a tyrant.

He let the cool air splash across the markings he chose to show the universe his love dedication belief in his general.

———————

Innocents in danger. A warm lekku brushes against his jaw as her soft but firm voice urges him onward. Go. Save them.

I believe in you.

———————

They’ll speak of this moment for generations afterwards: the man with the golden kiss of the Goddess on his cheeks, taking on an entire unit of stormtroopers ready to execute protesting younglings cornered in the town square.

They’ll speak of the Goddess who took the form of a blue twi’lek to guide him, hand pressed between his shoulder blades as if she were bestowing upon him a pair of wings.

They’ll speak of the scattered troopers that froze and murmured varying names: General, Aayla, Jedi, ghost– but particularly of the two troopers that tossed their helmets aside and gazed at her with reverence before springing into action, one shielding the children while the other took up second in command on the charge against the oppressors.

They’ll speak in hushed whispers of how when the fighting was over and the surviving troopers all removed their helmets to reveal the same face, that the Goddess had gifted Her Chosen warrior with the valor of an army but could not fit such power within only one body.

They’ll remember how Her Chosen checked over each and every child youngling before embracing each other and crying over brothers found again, while the one who alone bore her marks wandered off to the edge of the courtyard alone.

Only the most devout will learn of how the Goddess appeared to him in that moment, her glittering form bathing him in starlight in that darkened corner of the battlefield. The details of what passes between them is speculated but never known, for it was a sacred moment no one wished to blaspheme.

———————

“Aayla, I’m so sorry, I– please, tell me what to do, tell me how to fix this!”

Live. Her lips brushed against one golden tattoo. Love. She kissed the other marking.

“I can’t do that without you. We– we were going to do this together.”

I’m here. I’ll always be right beside you.

“Aayla…”

Go. Help your brothers. Protect and serve the innocent.

“Don’t leave. Don’t leave me.”

Never.

———————

...but they all tell of how Her Chosen fell to his knees before her, how she drew him into her arms before vanishing into stardust, gone in the blink of an eye.

[crimsonseekers]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @aphrodaisyacs! Thank you! :D

Name(s): Crimson, or Crim as I've been assigned by friends

Fandom(s): Ones I've written for are BNHA, Transformers, Sk8, JJK, HTTYD, Pokemon, and Hetalia. Those last three are on an old FFnet account I refuse to let see the light of day.

Where you post: AO3 (but as stated before I used to write on FFnet lmao)

Most popular one-shot (by kudos): League of Villains? League of Flat Earthers

I won't lie, I wrote that fic in maybe three or four hours on a whim following the unexpected success of my first bnha fic. Which brings me to my next point of why is it always the fics I put the least effort into or write on a whim that do the best (*side eyes entire [insert tragic backstory] series*)

Most popular multi-chap (also by kudos): area cryptid upset no one bothered to inform him of his tragic backstory

this is my most popular fice by a not insignificant margin lmao. i tell this story in discord all the time but i literally wrote it while dissociating during zoom calls and then decided to post it because it got long so why not? and then it got popular so i kept writing bnha fic and now i'm here.

Favorite story you've written so far: i'd say either a blood crown for two or love is stored in the medical stapler hidden in the anti paparazzi blanket

blood crown was a self-indulgent project that i didn't think there would be any audience for, so i was super happy that other people enjoyed it as well. the other one was a joke fic written when i joined CTABB in roughly two and a half hours, and is honestly one of the best times i ever had writing a fic.

Fics you were nervous to post: mmmm i don't really get nervous when posting, but if i had to point at one, then it'd probably be catch me when i fall (rated E). it was just a fic written in a fever dream, a weirdly charged emotional study of hawks and nagant's relationship, published within roughly 36 hours of me learning she had a name. it was just i knew that with her being such a new character, it was definitely going to be niche, so i wasn't sure what the reaction was going to be

How do you choose your titles: it kind of depends on the type of fic i'm writing, to be honest. with crack/humor fics, i just come up with the worst possible way of describing the premise (ex. "area cryptid upset no one bother to inform him of his tragic backstory," "diamonds are capitalism, shiny pebbles are forever,"). for fics with a more serious tone, i try to choose something that alludes to the climax or main plot point/emotional core (ex. "a blood crown for two," "where we fly on metal wings," "This Address Does Not Exist"), and sometimes i use the ye olde song lyric method if i'm really stuck (ex. "don't forget me when i let the water take me," "because with us you're free to sea,")

Do you outline?: lmao no.

okay, it's a bit more complicated than that. I've outlined maybe four or five fics ever - two of them were for zine fics because words weren't coming easily enough for the check-in, one was just because i thought that's what the multi-chap process was supposed to look like and was honestly more of a meme than an outline, and i currently have one that's an actual outline because it's a very plot-heavy au

Complete: like,,,, five zine fics (soon to be six since i need to finish one before the deadline in two hours lmao) that are locked in zine jail, the next installment of f1 au that's locked in beta jail, and a few fics that i wrote out by hand an still haven't typed up despite the fact they have started gathering visible dust

In-progress: A DabiHawks Pathologic AU, a sword spirit road trip AU, a catbi fic, another seven zine fics, four big bang fics, cyberpunk au sequel, and probably another five i'm forgetting because my life has spiraled out of control and this is less an interview than a desperate cry for help-

Coming soon: ....i uh.... am a tad burned out as the kids say, so the only thing i can definitively say is coming soon is my dabi bang fic, for which the premise is "the entire league thinks dabi is touch starved and thus touch avoidant but he's actually just severely immunocompromised" because i have a deadline on that lmao

Not started: more than i'm willing to admit - if i've ever mentioned or shown off an au that i didn't list as "in progress," chances are i haven't started it or have just put it on the back burner

Prompts? area cryptid and league of flat earthers actually both stemmed from the same prompt, but apart from those two the only fics i've written from prompts were for a valentines exchange i did with some friends last year - "Ritus," "Uncouth," "Not Exactly Procedure," and "Just Us"

Upcoming work you're most excited about: hmmmm my Whump Bang fic and my Hawks Bang fic are both going to cause significant pain and i can't wait to show them off, but my pathologic and sword spirit fics are also going to be excellent (once i actually work on them lmao)

No pressure tags: (i'm sorry if you've already been tagged, but it's been pre-established that i'm very out of the loop) @theycallmebol @amethystunarmed @draphrawrites @bittermoonswrites

[darkmulti]

Death of You

Yandere ex bf!San x female reader

This is a re make of “Satan” bc it was deleted and also happen to be my favourite piece of writing:) also I mixed in a request in here!

⚠️Warnings: humilitaion, filth filth filth filth filth, spitting, spanking, degradtion, bondage, rough sex, oral (male recieving), slapping, theres a lot of kinky shit mixed in here, cum eating, cum play, choking, overstimulation, fear kink, possessive behaviour

——————————————————————————

“San that’s not my fault.”

“Yes it is. It’s entirely your fault. You cheated on me and I caught you. I saw the messages on your phone.”

“San, you don’t even fucking trust me. It’s not what you think! He’s my bestfriend! Our conversation wasn’t even inappropriate in anyway, you’re just mad another boy texted me!”

“Yeah, exactly! What if you two have been fucking behind my back this whole time?”

Your eyes roll back and you mentally slap yourself.

Why were you trying to save something that was already broken?

San’s behaviour was outrageous. What kind of man, what kind of person would think of such things? Being frustrated, you blurted out,

“Do you want to break up? Tell me what you want to do San. Because I truly don’t know anymore.”

San looks at you but doesn’t say a word.

“Fine. I’ll go pack my shit.”

While massaging your forehead, you walk past San and go upstairs. After you finished packing, you head downstairs with your carry on suitcase, and slam the door shut, leaving your now ex boyfriend San, alone in the enormous house.

You will not tolerate his behaviour. You simply can’t stay with a man who doesn’t trust you. With quick thinking you decide to stay the night at a nearby hotel.

With some money saved up in your bank account, you would be able to afford staying in the hotel for a little amount of time. So it was very important for you to find a job, as soon as possible.

After checking into the hotel, you take a cold shower to wash away your tears and make up a plan.

You were strong.

You didn’t need a man.

Before you met San, you were a strong, independent women. Not that you aren’t anymore, you just lost your momentum. Now it was your chance to get it back.

Finally your head fills up with positive thoughts and you get out of the shower with a bright smile plastered across your face. The cold water that hit your body and washed away all your tears, triggers your restart button.

Although you couldn’t exactly forget about him, you were still capable of not ever thinking about him. While cleaning your face with cold water and washing your tired, red, puffy eyes, you start to calm down a bit. Your heartbeat became steady and all the negative thoughts floated away. Another breath of relief leaves your lips.

You change into your pyjamas that San had given you.

Well this wasn’t going to be the easiest process. Almost everything you packed was either a gift from San or bought with his money.

Right there and then you made a promise to yourself that you will return all the money he spent on you. It was only fair, which meant you can move on with your life without feeling guilty. 

After planning out your next steps you jump onto the mattress and snuggle in. You take your plushie into your arms and hug it since San isn’t here anymore.

Right when you close your eyes your phone lights up, waking you up. You lazily pick it up and see the miss calls and messages San had left you.

107 messages and 36 missed calls

Y/N

Answer your calls

We can fix this

Y/N we can fix this

I’m sorry please come back.

I love you angel

Please we can’t end like this

We were suppose to get married and have kids

Now who am I supposed to get married to?

Y/N please answer my calls

Sweetheart I need to know if you safe

Please I’m so sorry for what I did and said

Sweetie please

Babygirl I miss you

I love you so much please don’t do this to me!

Why aren’t you answering my calls

Are you with another man?

Y/N ANSWER MY FUCKING CALLS GOD DAMIT!

YOU FUCKING WHORE, ALREADY SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN!

WE HAVEN’T EVEN BROKEN UP PROPERLY!

FUCKING ANSWER MY CALLS

I WILL KILL THE FUCKER IF YOU DON’T ANSWER ME!

STOP LEAVING ME ON READ!

CALL ME

ANSWER ME!

STOP BEING A FUCKING CUNT AND COME BACK TO THE HOUSE!

WHEN I FIND-

You put the phone faced down on the nightstand. That message was enough to make you tremble and cry from fear. You bite down on your lip and wipe away your tears.

Your nails go into your mouth and you lay down, thinking that sleep will help. Even though your heart was about to beat out of your chest, you close your heavy eyelids and you drift into a peaceful sleep.

Approximately 3 hours into your sleep, and knocking on the door woke you.

Shit! You forgot to put on the ‘do not disturb sign’

Crawling out of the warm, cozy bed, your feet touch the cold floor and you walk to the door, opening it.

A very big mistake you made. Standing in the doorway is a very angry San. You shut the door and lock it before running into the bathroom.

Shit shit shit, fuck your phone! You left it on the nightstand!

You open the bathroom door and make a run for it to your phone. But you freeze in your tracks when you hear the ‘beep’ the front door makes when it unlocks. You turn around and San walks in and locks the door.

Paralyzed you were. He walked over to you and without a word you pushed you down onto the floor.

You snap out of the phase and snap at him.

“What the fuck? You can’t treat me like a rag doll San. We’re done!”

“No. I’m not done with you until you tell me why your not answering your phone. You always have it shoved up your ass, so tell me why you chose to ignore me.”

Your eyes look on the floor, not wanting to answer. The idea of breaking up will never get into his sick head. It’ll go in one ear and out the other.

“Not responding? Let’s try this again.”

San gets on his knees and pushes you down onto the floor with a hand now around your neck, in missionary position.

“WHY DID YOU IGNORE MY CALLS AND MESSAGES?”

“BECAUSE SAN, IM FUCKING DONE WITH YOU!”

San raises his hand and slaps you across the face leaving a sting on your cheek.

“Don’t you dare fucking yell at me, you brat. You ungrateful, cock slut brat.”

The man grabs the base of your jaw and spits in your whining mouth. His hands pull your thighs up onto him and he grinds his bulge.

San knew how much control he had over you, and used it to his advantage. Whenever he showed any type of loving or caring affection towards you, you would instantly explode.

“You want me to stop?”

“No, please!”

San smirks at you. Hasn’t been 9 hours and you already want him in your pussy.

“Sit on your pretty little knees and wait for daddy’s order.”

Hurriedly, you get up and sit on your knees. You pull your hair back and wait for your daddy’s next orders.

“Good girl. My cute little puppy. I bet if you had a tail in that ass, it would be wagging side to side because you’re that excited to suck my cock.”

He said teasingly with a sly smile spreading across his face.

Your lips pout and you look at him with widened eyes.

“Take your clothes off darling, I wanna see the lingerie you’re wearing.”

Fortunately or maybe unfortunately, you were wearing his favourite lavender lingerie. The design on the bra and underwear was beautiful and fitted your body perfectly.

“Oh darling. Everytime I see you in that lingerie, it keeps getting better and better. I don’t ever think I’ll ever get tired of this view.”

His sweet words wander out of his lips and into your ears, causing you to smile.

“Come to daddy babygirl.”

Your hands go on the floor and you crawl to him with sparkles in your eyes. San scratches you underneath your chin, and brings your hands up to the hem of his pants.

“You do the honours baby.”

You adjust yourself and pull his pants and underwear down, with his help. San brought your face closer to his lower stomach. You were confused on what he was doing, until his cock sprung up and hit your face, startling you.

Tilting your head up, you admire his long, thick, veiny, red cock, that had pre cum dripping down from the tip. You could’ve come right there just by the sight.

“I know my cock’s superior, but it’s not going to suck itself.”

Your hands quickly take a hold of it and roughly strokes it up and down. San runs his fingers through your hair and tilts your head up so he can look at you while you stroke his cock. Your eyes still in contact with San’s you lick his shaft all the way up to his tip.

San rolls his hip, and thrust into nothing. He wanted to whine so badly, but it would make him look weak, which he didn’t like. Having enough of your teasting he pulls your hair back and slaps you across the face, leaving his hand print behind.

“You don’t tease me darling. Take it in or else I’ll put a ginger up your ass. As I recall, you hated that punishment with all your heart.”

He then got closer to your face.

“Don’t make me do it again.”

Both your holes clench, as you remember the severe pain that punishment had caused you. Not wanting to risk it, you shove his seven inch dick down your throat, while playing with his balls. San holds your hair back for you, and praises you for taking him so well. You pop a smile around his cock and your teeth brush against his dick, making him shiver.

Though, you were happy to satisfy him, there was one thing that wasn’t satisfying you. Your daddy was a hard dom and never moans. It always got to your head that you weren’t satisfying him to the fullest. So with a determined mindset, you get in the right position and dig your nails into his thighs. You shove him down your throat and start to suck the life out him. He jolts up and lets out a loud groan, followed by a soft, but sensitive moan.

You start grinding on the air, after hearing his beautiful, sexy moans.

Oh god, what would you have to have your clit touched right now.

The dom's cock starts twitching in your throat and you bring his tip up into your mouth, sucking it until his cum releases.

“No no no darling. Spit it out.”

You tilt your head at san and he cups his hand in front of your mouth. You spit it up in his hands, and he also spits in it. The males other hand pulls your hair back and rubs the cum all over your face. It drips down your neck into your exposed clevage.

“Baby, rub it all over your breast for daddy.”

You take both of your hands and rub the cum all over your tits.

“Good little whore.”

With your face, neck and chest covered in cum, San takes his belt and wraps it tightly around your neck making a two in one collar and leash. He gets up and pulls you with him to the door.

“Daddy where are we going?”

You ask innocently, but deep inside you were petrified.

“Let’s go on a little walk”

He pulls your leash, yanking you across the floor to his feet.

“Crawl on all fours like the good little puppy you are.”

He pats your head and grabs the door card.

“Walk beside me, in sync with my feet okay slut?”

“Okay daddy”

San walks to the elevator where we met our first victim. He looked at us in shock. You keep your head down low, while San started making small talk with the confused and genuinely concerned male. San then bends down to you and tells you to stick your tongue out. You do as told, but he didn’t do anything to you. Instead he just stood up. Your mind puts two and two together and realizes he’s trying to make you act like a dog.

The elevator dings and you both are now in the front lobby, where there was much more people. San looked out for any kids, but when he saw the coast was clear, he walked out like nothing was wrong.

He pulled you to the couches in the lobby, while people stared at your exposed body. San sits down on the couch and you sit on the floor. He sighs, and picks you off the ground slightly and puts his shoe underneath you.

“Fuck my shoe, you thirsty whore.”

He points his toes up, hitting your clit and making you flinch.

“Grind on it you shameless whore.”

You hips starts moving on the tip and your cheeks turn pink from embarrassment. San from behind spanks your ass a couple of times, and you let out soft moans. Your eyes roam around until it makes eye contact with an old man, who was checking you out. He shamelessly takes his dick out and starts to jerk off, coming closer and closer.

You turn your head the other way and let your mind wanders off. You start to think about how you look like. The cum and spit mixture gliding down your face picking up droplets of sweat, before falling onto your breast. The lavender lingerie that was exposing all your private parts. Your red face, that still had san’s handprint on it. Last but not least, the overly tight belt around your neck, that was causing your breath to slow down.

You bring your attention back to the shoe and went a little harder on your clit, until san reaches to your shoulder to make you stop. He sneaks his arms under your armpits then wraps it around your body, pulling you up onto his lap. You feel his face turned to your right, so you also look and see the old man sitting next to you both.

“Can we share,,,,,, please?”

The old man whispers and reaches towards your arm. San stands up with you in his arms.

“No. I can’t. Mind your own business and keep your dick in your pants.”

San carries you to the elevator, where he kept you in his embrace the entire time.

“I'm so sorry sweetheart, are you okay? I didn’t know I’m sorry, are you scared? We can leave.”

The man’s heart aches at the cringe worthy scenario that took place a two minutes ago. He felt so guilty. You didn’t peep a word and only stuffed your face in his chest.

He carries you back to the room and lays you on the bed once he was inside.

“Shall we continue?”

You ask with a teasing smile, and your hands on the hem of you pantie, bringing it down.

“You still want to-”

You crawl to his guilty figure and place a finger on his lips.

“Of course. You can’t just stop there.”

You pull San onto the bed and jump on top of him. His bulge was hard again, and your cunt aches at it. You bounce on his clothed shaft, while undoing the buttons of his shirt. San places his hands onto your hips and lets you enjoy yourself.

You wrap your hand around his throat and grind harder, until your pussy clenches around nothing and you let out a high pitch whine. This was San’s cue. He switches the position, pulls his pants down, and shoves his giant cock, into your warm, wet pussy. He immediately pounds into your g spot making you squeal and squirm under him. Your tears start rolling down your face from the overstimulation.

“Holy shit, sannie baby daddy, fUCKK RIGHT THERE!”

You became a hot mess. Crying and whining under the male, begging him to go faster.

San hushes you and pulls on the belt choking you. Your eyes water up and your face becomes extremely red, until you tap out. He loosens the belt and throws it to the side, while you try and catch your breath.

“Daddy please hit it again.”

San accepts your challenge and hovers over top of your small figure and fucks the life out of you.

“Whore whore whore whore! You wanted this along. Did you really think that I would let you go that easily? Stupid cum fuck”

His hips move in a high speed into you, and he wraps both of his hands around your neck, putting weight on it. Eventually you scream out and burst into tears, feeling your orgasm punching through. Your pussy twitches around his cock and he gives you one last thrust, making you cry all over again.

It almost like your pussy glitches every time San made you cum. You grab onto the bedsheets and cum for your life. Spitting it out all over his cock, your eyes roll back and hips arch because Sans tip was right below your gspot.

“Sannie sannie sannie.”

San pins your hands down and thrust harshly in again, hitting the spot again. Sobs after sobs leave your mouth, and your body starts shaking at the sensitivity. He goes a little faster, and you start to zone out and only hear his balls slapping your cunt.

San leans down and sucks your lips, giving one last thrust making both of you cum. Both of you were now panting inside each other's mouths. His arms snake around your waist and he gets in bed with you still in his arms.

He pulls you close and makes sure you fall asleep before he does. Whispering sweet and caring words his final words made your heart explode.

The sincere “I love you” followed by his goofy smile.

This man..this man right here, was going to be the death of you.

——————————————————————————

To bad I’m not his girlfriend and he’s already the end of me:(

I hope you enjoyed, I’m going to bed now❣️🥺

xoxo

n❣️

[storiesofsvu]

"Pick some number asks" 4, 7, 10, 18, 36

4. What are you looking forward to?

WORKING AGAIN. Cause work = money and money. = travel and travel= happiness

7. What was your life like last year?

Are you trying to kill me? LOL. Hmm…roughly a year ago my boyfriend texted me after completely ghosting me for a MONTH after he sad-drunkenly punched a mutual friend for literally reason and then stormed off into the night. When i didn’t reply within an hour (keep in mind it was later than 11pm as well) he sent another one all “i know i’m being needy but I’d appreciate a response.”

Wrong move dude.

Obviously he’s an ex boyfriend (don’t date young boys friends…they’re morons…)

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Sometimes. It is easy for me to keep certain things under wraps, but if i’m fighting an anxiety attack/trying not to cry/angry cry, it’s not easy, and then someone’s always all “are you okay? Do you need a hug?” And like..unless you are piano Katie..do not fucking touch me 😂

18. Do you miss how things were a year ago?

The only thing i miss from this time last year was that I was on CERB, and that $2000 a month from the gov was a fucking blessing and i should’ve realized how lucky i was to have it over the shitty, shitty EI payments i got afterwards….

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

-finish off my travel bucket list

-be in my prime health shape

-use the acting/dancing training for something worthwhile lololol

[breaniebree]

12, 13, 17, 19, 36, 59, 84 for new asks please!

Hi, Anon!

Thanks for asking! Love that there were so many!

12. Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Hmm... I think this changes depending on my mood. Lately it's been Tonks and Remus. I love writing their domestic bliss as well as Tonks being a badass Auror. I've been having fun with them. But usually I really love writing the Weasleys, particularly the brothers views on Ginny. I find them so fun, giving them each their own personality and Ron deserves so much love. He's just so awesome!

13. Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Crouch. He's disturbing and disgusting, but that's how he appears to me and I can't change him or his gross ways. Also, I really hate writing from Draco's POV because I find him difficult and a bit of an enigma. I believe him to be an asshole, but very kind and attentive to those whom he deems worthy which makes him a contradiction to write sometimes.

17. Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

“Mum, we don’t know what happened. Everyone could be okay,” Ginny said, trying to keep her voice strong.

Molly merely held Ginny tighter as they stood there and waited for news.

19. Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Hmm... I feel like everything I've written has more or less been completed at the end. Though I suppose I would like to write more of my Missing Moments one-shots, but I just haven't been inspired to do so as I've been so busy with A Second Chance. I do sometimes feel like I will need a sequel to ASC just to cover after the war, but we'll see ❤️

36. Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

Hmm, lots of spoilers here LOL. Um, yes, I can, the line (which I gave you 3 of) is from the last chapter I completed. The bit I am currently working on...

...and a flash of purple before he found himself flying through the air.

He grunted as he landed on his side, his ears ringing. His hand moved to his head, finding blood and he coughed as the room began to come into focus once more.

Grey smoke filled the chamber as purple flames erupted from the left side of the room. He blinked in confusion as the purple human torch disintegrated with a bang and a second rumble shook the chamber. Marble and stone collapsed as the flames shot out like long tendrils, stretching to reach everything in sight.

59. Which character(s) do you find the most difficult to write?

Most difficult for me tends to be Luna. I love her and I love her quirkiness, but I always find writing her is hard. I'm always worried I don't get her tone right, or her personality, or I take her a step too far or not far enough. Whenever I have her in a scene, I find myself second guessing everything I write and it's rather stressful to be honest LOL.

84. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

An excerpt I'm particularly fond of... I think I've said it before that this changes a lot depending on my mood, but lately I think it's the opening of my story ASC

They were dead.

They were both dead and it was all his fault.

He didn’t cry. He had no tears left in him to cry. He didn’t rage; he’d spent weeks doing just that, slamming his fists into the stones until his knuckles had bled; until his fingers were broken, but the pain never fazed him. He ate mechanically as the healer fixed his hands and the next day, he’d punched the stone all over again and again trying to feel something … anything.

He screamed. He shouted that he was innocent. He threatened to kill his former best friend, his brother. But it was for nothing.

It was all for nothing.

He was the one who had been betrayed; the spy who wasn’t; he was guilty in the eyes of the world and nothing he could say was going to change that.

And no one was listening anyway.

At first he thought that at least he would come. His best friend; the one who he had trusted most outside of the one who was his blood brother. The one who he had kept secrets for; the one who was so thankful and confused as to why they even called him friend, called him brother in the first place.

But he never came.

He too thought he was guilty; that he was just like the family that he had tried so hard to run from.

The days turned into weeks which turned into months. He paced; he ran on the spot; he spent hours doing push-ups and sit-ups; contemplated making a noose with his thin shabby sheet and just ending it until the rage consumed him once more. He was not going to take his own life; not while he was out there, the truly guilty party. The spy. The one that he had once called friend and brother.

The months dragged into that first year and his thin hold on his own sanity started to slip away from him as he counted the days, digging the rock into the stone to tally his sentence.

On his twenty-third birthday, he spent the day in fitful dreams; memories of the woman that he had called mother holding her wand above him and telling him how worthless he was; how spineless and unworthy he was to be in the Most Ancient and Noble House. He relived the feel of the torture curse, seeing his mother holding the wand; relived the pain of the belt that his father struck across his back and when he heard his own screams echoing in the stone cell — he clawed at the stone until his nails bled.

By the second year, he forced himself to transform the moment the memories came to the surface. He forced himself to think of happy thoughts, but he couldn’t remember any. Had he ever been happy? He was innocent. It wasn’t a happy thought, but it wasn’t a miserable thought either so they couldn’t take it away from him. He hadn’t murdered those people, true. But could he really be considered innocent?

It was his fault that they were dead; his decision; his stupid mistake.

He was innocent.

He was guilty.

He was innocent.

He was guilty.

He paced the cell back and forth as far as the chains would allow him; back and forth, marking the days each morning when he woke. He slept as a dog; woke to eat the gruel that they called porridge; one hour of push-ups; one hour of sit-ups, keep the body disciplined, keep the mind sane, he told himself repeatedly. He’d nap as a dog; wake to eat the gruel that they called stew and as the first wave of unhappy memories would unfold into his system, he’d transform and whimper in the corner.

By the third year, he had his routine down to a science. No one spoke to him. The healer came to check on him once a month; let him wash with a bowl of lukewarm water and a clean cloth. The healer never spoke and the soul-sucking creatures hovered as the healer trembled, waiting for him to finish so that he could leave. The moment that the healer was gone, he became a dog once more.

When he started his count into year four, he knew that he would die alone in this very cell. No one would ever discover that his old friend had been the real one to betray them; the real one to trick those who cared for him.

No one would ever know his story.

“Sirius?”

The voice sounded foreign, almost too far away. He recognized the Scottish burr, but he couldn’t place it. No one had spoken to him in four years, six months, and seventeen days. Was that his name? His head pounded, but for the first time all day it was clear, telling him that the soul sucking creatures had distanced themselves, at least partially, from his cell.

“Sirius Black?”

The hesitation in the voice now got his attention and he realized that it wasn’t a memory; someone was actually speaking to him.

Someone was outside of his cell.

He moved towards the bars, long thin fingers gripping the iron and his grey eyes bruised around the edges meeting the square beady brown eyes that he recognized so well and his heart stopped at the sight of them.

“Minnie?” he whispered hoarsely, the old nickname slipping out before he consciously thought about it.

The brown eyes rolled in exaggeration at him and for the first time in four years, six months, and seventeen days — he felt a bubble of laughter rising in his throat.

“Sirius,” she said softly, reaching to hold his ice cold hands where they clutched the iron bars tightly. “You remember me? I was worried that I might have been too late. The healer said… never mind. You know me.”

He shook his head, clearing the cobwebs that lingered there. “Yeah,” he said roughly. “Why are you here, Professor?”

Her eyes looked sad as she gripped his hands tightly from where they were clutched around the bars. “I’m sorry that it took so long, Sirius, I’m so sorry, but you are finally getting a trial. A trial to prove your innocence.”

His dark grey eyes met hers in shock. “What?”

“I don’t believe for a moment that you betrayed James and Lily, Sirius. I never have. James was like a brother to you and you… you loved that little boy. You deserve a trial. Maybe if we can understand why you…”

Sirius snorted now, his fingers gripping hers as he realized what she was saying. “You believe that I murdered thirteen people in a crowded street, but I didn’t betray my best friends. Interesting view you have of me, Minnie, my dear.”

“Sirius,” she said again, her voice quiet and stern. “I believe that you are innocent and I have been campaigning for you to be set free from the moment that you were arrested. Finally, the Minister has taken heed of my words and agreed to give you the trial you should have been given years ago. It will be in three days time.”

Sirius squeezed her fingers gently. “I am innocent, Minnie. I would never have betrayed them, never!”

McGonagall nodded, smiling at him. “I know. I will see you in three days, Sirius. I’m rooting for you.”

As he watched her leave, he felt the darkness pressing in on him once again and he moved away from the bars, letting his back rest against the cool stone.

Four years, six months, seventeen days — but he was getting a trial.

Thanks for the asks!

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 48

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: i know my last chapter didnt get many notes but the chapter is ready so why not post it you know? sex is vanilla again. thought it was cute. sue me lol. theyll have kinker sex dont worry hahaha! i would LOVE to know what you think of the characters and their reactions and stuff. so please, message me!

here are the requests for this chapter! for the instagram one, i changed it a bit because i dont think her character would want to be in the spotlight like that i hope its ok! also i had already talked about their first time and such so I added the others :)

Chapter 48 : His chapter

NIALL

"Oh my god! Look at you flirting with that woman like she's not 30 years older than you!"

I started laughing and let my head fall back slightly. My arm was on the couch's back right behind her head and I brought it closer, pulling her to me by her neck.

"Is that the tone you use when you're jealous?"

I noticed her nose raise up in a grimace but she kept staring at the tv, making me laugh even more. For some reason, Olivia wanted us to watch old One Direction interviews, pretending it would help me for the ones I had planned in the next few weeks. It didn't really help, all it did was make us laugh and I had to admit it was quite entertaining and I was pretty sure I had never watched most of them.

"It was tough watching interviews back then." she admitted, raising a shoulder. "Especially the older ones. You were such a horny kid."

I frowned slightly at her comment. I could hear a lot of pain but also a bit of blame and it bothered me. I was young, I was newly famous and not shy at all. Of course, I was a bit stupid and I tried to be funny but out of all the people in the world, I thought she'd be the last one to comment on it.

"I just enjoyed flirting." I let out, shrugging too. "I don't do that anymore."

It took her a few seconds but she turned my way, staring at my profile.

"How many times did it work?"

I frowned, still looking the old 60 minutes interview we did a few years ago playing on screen. Did I really want to have this discussion?

"What are you asking?"

I held my breath and turned to her, noticing how painful it was for her to ask me something like that. I felt my annoyance falter a bit but not leave completely.

"How many girls did you have sex with?"

We had never talked about that before. I thought about asking, especially when we started dating, but I was scared it would start shit between us. When I was younger, I didn't mention my stories mostly because I didn't want to hear hers. Now that I think about it, it was probably out of jealousy, too.

"Liv, please-"

"More than 10?"

I stared at her a few seconds and nodded a bit. I watched her lick her lips and breathe in and nervously, I felt my fingers play with the fabric of the couch. I hated this, it could only turn wrong.

"More than 20?"

I could feel myself getting angry and I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. I didn't know why I was so touchy, it was not in my nature, but perhaps the way she asked me didn't help. It was not just a casual conversation, there was clearly a reason why she asked and I suddenly regretted that we never talked about these things before.

"20 sounds about right." I just said, impatient to talk about something else.

"That's more than twice my number."

We remained silent for a few seconds and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Am I supposed to answer something to that?" I just wondered a bit rudly. "I don't know what you expected Olivia, but clearly you're delusional. I've had a lot of opportunities it's true, and no of course I didn't jump on all of them, but you don't ask an 18 year old boy to be reasonable after being thrown into fame. I don't think you can really understand what it's like."

I shook my head and sighed louder than needed before getting up a bit roughly. I felt her fingers wrap about my wrist and stopped immediately.

"I'm sorry."

I stayed motionless, standing up with my eyes closed as her fingers pressed around my wrist more.

"I'm just scared. And insecure." she added low as i felt her fingers slip and free my hand. "I don't understand why you're dating me, Niall. You could date so many girls or just fool around with anyone you want. But you're here with me and it just makes no fucking sense to me. So when I see how things used to be for you, it scares me for the future and at the same time, it reminds me how much I cried during those years."

I sighed and slowly sat back down next to her, still not being able to look at her.

"Why did you propose we watch that then?"

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed her looking down and swallowing. I couldn't pretend I knew how she felt, not now and not back then, but I was dating her now, I had been dating her for over 9 months. The fact that she was still doubting me... doubting us, was tough to accept.

"I thought i'd be okay, I thought since you were next to me, holding my hand, that it wouldn't bother me." she explained in a low and ashamed tone. "I was wrong."

I sighed again and rubbed my eyes before getting up again. Her head shot up quickly but I just held my hand out to her. It took her a few seconds but slowly, she slid her palm against mine and I pulled on her hand, helping her get up.

"Let's go outside, okay?"

She didn't say anything, she just let me bring her outside, in the backyard. I took my socks off after letting go of her hands and sat on the side of the pool, putting my feet in the water and waited for her. It took her a few minutes but I still didn't turn to her. The night was calm and warm enough, especially for late september, and I looked down at her feet moving slowly in the water.

"At the lodge, I saw you and Harry making out naked on the side of the pool. It made me very jealous, even if I didn't really realize it back then. Not really because you two were having sex, but mostly because he had your full attention, and I was so used to have it all for myself that losing it was like a slap in the face." I admitted, licking my lips. "I'm not saying I know how you feel, Liv, or how you used to feel. I just think that holding on to that is changing you and stressing you for no reason."

"Maybe."

She didn't comment on the part about Harry and I closed my eyes.

"The first date I ever went on was with a girl from school." I added low.

"Grace, I remember."

"The whole time, all I could think about was kissing her. I didn't care about anything else. I was young, I can't even remember if I liked her, but I wanted my real first kiss and it's all that mattered." I made a pause and sighed. "Then I had girlfriends when I was a bit older, and then I joined One Direction and met other girls. And whenever I hung out with them, I was never jealous, I thought 'hey if it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be' and that's it. I didn't expect it to last because I didn't want it to last. I had nothing to lose. I thought about sex and having fun."

I turned to her and sighed louder when I noticed tears falling down her cheeks. I moved my body her way slightly and shook my head.

"Olivia, why are you crying? I'm trying to tell you that it's different with you. I care about you. And the first thing I thought of when it came to you was not sex, it was not kissing you. It was making you happy, it was how good I felt around you. Why would you cry for that?"

"Because you seem to forget that I was there, Niall. I saw you with these girls. I cried myself to sleep because I desperately wanted to be in their shoes. My first kiss was with a guy at school who was harassing me to go out with him and when he kissed me, all I thought about was you. The first time I had sex with Rian I wished it was you. Every single decision in my love life seems to have been related to you. I'm not blaming you, it's all on me, but its still not easy for me."

My eyes roamed on her face and I watched her wipe her tears and sniff a few times before clearing her throat.

"We both need to make efforts. You can't spend all your time asking questions about my past that's gonna hurt you, you know."

"I'll work on that." she whispered. "But you're gonna have to be patient with me."

"Okay."

We remained quiet again for a while, just looking at the lights of the pool shining on the water. I knew I should reach for her hand but I wasn't sure I wanted to.

"Remember the first time we got drunk together?" she asked with a chuckle, moving her feet a bit more vigorously and making the water move around her. "You were so cute, and so damn tactile. At some point I was so close to tell you that I loved you that I got scared and hid in the bathroom for half an hour."

I smiled at the memory and chuckled.

"You were so dramatic and I didn't even know!" I let out, making her laugh too. "I don't know how you kept it inside for so long."

"Fear of losing you." she shrugged. "I just looked at you, both of us totally pissed, and I thought 'everyone wants a piece of him but he's with you right now, don't ruin this Olivia'."

"You were cute, you had that really high ponytail. I remember because whenever you'd turn around, your hair would brush against my arm and I was so drunk it made me shiver every time."

My eyes found hers and she was not smiling anymore. Her lips were parted and her eyes were glued to me. I raised my eyebrows and moved my face closer to hers.

"Yes, I remember things. Not the same things you remember, and maybe not for the same reasons, but I do remember things."

Slowly, she pressed her lips together and they curled as she kept looking at me.

"I love you, Niall."

I moved my upper body over hers, forcing her to move down on the hard cement but she didn't complain. I placed both my hands on each side of her chest to hold myself over her and bent down to kiss her.

"I love you too." i answered, moving up to a bit to look at her.

Her eyes traveled on my face until my lips and she licked hers.

"You said you'd make love to me whenever I'd want." she whispered so low i barely heard. "I really want it now."

"It's not really comfortable." I pointed out, the right corner of my lips moving up.

"Then you're gonna have to be extra gentle with me."

I nodded and sat up, immediately reaching for the hem of her sweatpants and she moved her butt up to help me. She brought her feet off the water and placed them on the ground, her knees up, and my eyes roamed between her legs as I let out a low groan. I took my shirt off and didn't even react when it fell in the pool. It made Olivia chuckle and I just moved gently over her, placing myself between her legs.

One of her hands ran on my chest as I pressed myself against her. I felt her grind up slowly against me and bent down to kiss her. I could feel myself get harder with every move of her hips, even if she was barely moving and I let my lips brush on her jaw and down her neck.

"You should keep your shirt on, I don't want your back all scratched."

I brought my mouth back on hers and I noticed her lips curling in a fond but amused smile.

"You don't want to see me completely naked?"

"Don't be silly." I chuckled again, glancing down and noticing her hard nipples through the fabric of her shirt. "I really fucking do. But you don't need to be naked to turn me on."

She smiled more and I moved down on my elbows, moving her head up gently and placing my hands under it to make sure her head wouldn't rub against the cement.

"Are you sure you want to try it here?"

She didn't say anything, she just kept looking at me as her hands moved between us. One of her palms pressed on my cock and I groaned low. She started nibbling on her bottom lip, slowly pulling my pants down and I pushed myself into her. I was surprised at how wet she already was and how easy it was for us to do this, like our bodies just seemed to fit perfectly together.

"I love you."

I bent down again, kissing her as I started thrusting in and out of her so slowly that I could feel everything incredibly well. So well that it brought sensations in me that I hadn't felt before. I felt impatient and my whole body throbbed even more than usual. It was definitely different than what I was used to but I loved it. I could really see all of her facial expressions and ended up letting out a very low curse word when her lips parted and her eyes fluttered close. I watched her as she moved her chin up and I could feel the back of her head rubbing slowly against the palm of my hands, making a mess of her hair. She looked amazing, all fucked beneath me, and it made me realize how much I loved her.

"I love you too." I whispered back. "So much."

"Just me?"

My movements faltered and her eyes opened slowly. I stared at my best friend, laying under me, and I thought of all the things we went through together and all the things we'll go through together too. I thought about our friendship that turned into love, I thought about us when we were young, I thought about everything I missed with her and everything I lived with her, and I could swear I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Yes, only you."

Her hands traveled on my back until my ass and she let out a short whimper as her thighs pressed on my side to keep me close. I could feel my elbows and the back of my hands hurt from rubbing slightly on the cement but it was really the sharp pain in one of my knees that made it worse. I tried to push it out of my thoughts to focus on her and when she arched her back and started shaking, I knew she was cumming.

"Oh god Niall... I.. I'm..."

I tried to keep my movements slow and steady but it was pure torture until I felt an orgasm reach me. I felt it coming and held my breath as my eyes closed and I groaned again as it spread inside me slower than normally. I could feel it until the tip of my fingers and in my toes and when I came down from my high, I blinked a few times.

"I'm literally seeing spots." I let out with a short laugh.

"Me too." she chuckled just as my sight was getting clear again.

I looked at her laying under me and sighed. Now that it was over, I was more aware of the pain and I grimaced. I let myself roll on my back next to her and she moved her upper body over me with a frown.

"You okay? You're not bleeding are you?"

I brought my hands up to look at them and shook my head.

"I'm sorry." she added, raising her nose up. "We should have tried on the grass. Do you need ice or something?"

"And pizza." I pointed out with an exaggerated pain expression, making her laugh.

"Alright i'll bring all that in the living room."

She was about to get up but I put my hand on her thigh to stop her, my fingers brushing gently on her skin.

"Wait." She stopped and turned to me. "These girls, they mean nothing. You need to trust me."

She sent me a sad smile and shrugged a shoulder very slowly. I was tired to fight and I was scared it would ruin things between us.

"I'll try."

                                                         ---

I was driving the first time I heard 'This Town' on the radio and she was sitting next to me. I didn't know why but I felt incredibly lucky that I was not alone, and even luckier that she was the one with me. Her face illuminated and she let out a short scream, making me smile even more. I parked on the side of the road and she threw herself in my arms awkwardly since we both still had our seat belts on and we looked at each other the whole time it played until the very end.

"This is so fucking good Niall i'm so proud of you!"

I cupped her face and brought her closer a bit roughly, crashing my mouth against her and making her laugh. She grabbed the front of my shirt and deepened the kiss slightly, making me smile through it.

"Fucking hell."

She laughed as we pulled away slightly and smiled more.

"It's a big deal. Your first solo song." she whispered. "And you worked hard for that."

We remained in the car for a while, just flabbergasted by what had happened and a bit ecstatic. I looked at her reacting almost as intensely as me and it made me realize so many things that I just leaned against my seat and sighed. Despite all the fights we had, despite my almost total absence in the past few weeks, despite the fact that we had it hard recently, she was there, she supported me, and she was happy for me.

"A few drinks tonight to celebrate, how's that?" she proposed as I started the car again. "We could invite a few friends?"

"Yea, yea good call!" I let out, glancing at her. "Hey take my phone and go on instagram!"

She frowned a bit but she was still smiling and she did what I was told before looking at me again.

"You want to add something to your story?"she asked as I nodded. "Okay, go ahead!"

"Hello lovers, so we just heard 'This Town' for the first time on the radio a few minutes ago and we went completely crazy!" I just said with a laugh, trying to focus on the road as I passed one of my hands in my hair and shook my head. "Let me just get back home and I'll do a live and answer a few questions!"

She stopped filming and played with my phone for a few seconds before looking at me again.

"That's a very good idea."

With a smile plastered on my face, I parked the car and unlocked the front door before quickly getting my laptop. She put her purse on the couch and I sat next to it right before she disappeared in the kitchen. It took me a few minutes to go live but when I finally was, my smile hadn't faltered not even for a second. I started answering questions, glancing from time to time at Olivia that remained away from the camera. I knew she didn't like to be in the spotlight and that a lot of times, I brought attention to her without meaning to, but the fact that she was still there, in the shadows, to support me, meant the world.

"I was with Liv, it's her you heard on the video." I explained, answering an other question.

I saw my girlfriend grimace when she realized everyone had heard her voice and her probably her laughter when we recorded the small video in the car and my eyes found her again, her expression making me chuckle.

"From the face she's making now, it was clearly not intentional." I pointed out, laughing again.

My eyes caught a comment that made me frown but I tried to ignore it until I saw an other one and I finally closed my eyes, breathing in.

"Okay, i'm normally not the type to give attention to bad mouthing but we're trying to have a nice time and reading shit about my girlfriend is no fun."

I could feel Olivia tense near me as my eyes roamed on the comments.

'No Niall pls stay!!!'

'Ignore them we love her! OTP!'

'Fuck whoever talks shit about her'

'They don't deserve your attention!'

I didn't add anything else but kept on answering questions about an upcoming album, more songs, the process of writing and tour. After over half an hour, I said goodbye and turned my computer off. Olivia had left and I joined her in the kitchen, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. My lips reached her neck and I squeezed her tighter against me.

"Hey, darling." I whispered. I heard her sniff and my heart twitched. "It wasn't that mean. I promise."

I watched her fingers grip the side of the sink more and suddenly felt extremely bad. I shouldn't have commented, that way, she wouldn't know about the mean comments, but when I saw them, I didn't think, I just reacted. It was not like me but reading shit about her made me a bit impulsive and now I regretted it.

"That's what I mean when I say I don't understand why you're dating me." she murmured after swallowing hard. "No one understands why you're dating me."

"People who know nothing about you or our story don't get it, so what?" I just replied, nuzzling her nape. "Fuck them. I know why i'm dating you and i've got a shitton of good reasons."

"Don't tell me you don't doubt us, sometimes, Niall." she shook her head. "Don't tell me it never crosses you mind that you should be dating someone who's in your league. A tall, skinny, gorgeous actress, model, singer... I don't know."

She moved away from me and turned around, her back still facing me. I let my arms fall on each side of my body and sighed a bit loud before rubbing my eyes. I was trying to comfort her but it seemed like nothing i'd do would change anything.

"I'm telling you it's you, okay? I love you!" I argued, getting annoyed again. "I don't get how it's so hard to understand!"

She finally turned to me slowly and I felt a pain at heart when I saw the tears on her red cheeks. I didn't know why it was affecting her that much and I felt like i'd never understand.

"Love is not everything. Contrary to popular belief, love is not all you need." she pointed out, her arms crossed on her chest. She shook her head again and licked her lips as I stayed still, holding my breath. "I don't get why you don't understand how I feel, and I can't seem to explain it. It's useless, Niall. I'm useless."

Without waiting for an answer, she turned around and walked in the hall. I closed my eyes, trying to calm the beating of my heart. I should have ran to her and took her in my arms. I should have tried again to tell her how much she meant to me. I should have begged her to believe me and trust me. Instead, I sat on a chair and sighed loud. I felt defeated and exhausted at the same time. I just wanted us to be happy like we used to be but I didn't know how.

After a good twenty minutes of thinking, I got up and walked to our room, opening the door slowly. She was laying in bed, on her side with her knees up. I took a few steps closer only to realize she was asleep. I put my hands deep in my pockets and stared at her for a few seconds. Her lips were slightly parted and I could hear her breathe a bit louder than usual. I sighed again and found a blanket before putting it over her and bending down.

"You're so much more than you seem to believe." I murmured close to her ear. "I wish I knew how to show you. Maybe i'm the useless one."

[electricbluebutterflies]

Chris/mel + 36

Immediately post 6B finale, because I finally finished watching the show and I have Thoughts. PG-ish.

a kiss…to give up control.

It’s over. That past worth running from, door finally locked behind him. What blood family he had does not matter anymore. (For once, he has no regrets about anything his sister may or may not do that he may or may not have been able to stop if he’d wanted to.) There is only…

Chris isn’t sure what happens once things calm down to the extent that they ever do, but he does know where he wants to be. Where he wants to fully and completely rest his loyalties.

To change sides was dramatic enough, especially the way he did it. Been a few years now and he’s still amazed he’s survived that whole project. Finding life outside the world that made him has been hit-or-miss, but lately the pieces have started to come together. Trying to help the kids not just because they’re desperate and he’s passively suicidal but because they have become people he respects and cares about and this is how he knows how to show love. And the whole blossoming thing with Melissa…

Well…

He’d thought that part of himself was dead. The idea of dragging some presumably innocent woman into all of this madness was beyond unthinkable. But then there was her, already in the middle of all of it, kind and patient and take-no-shit and perfect. And maybe, if he doesn’t thoroughly screw up the next few hours of his life, maybe that’s a starting point.

In the aftermath, he has to find her. Make sure she’s okay, because she’s reckless and god only knows what disaster she’s spent the past few hours in the middle of, and… see what happens from there. No plans, for once.

She’ll be at the house. Or end up there, eventually. Or worst case scenario, one of the kids will text him – there have been no formal conversations about recent developments but he suspects they all know, half of them could tell by scent and the rest are gifted at seeing inevitabilities – and… he doesn’t want to think about that, because that would be bad, and-

He knows he shouldn’t let himself in. Knows it annoys her, even though it’s become habit. He is too tired and too determined to care.

As hoped for, she’s there in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and looking more tired than he’s ever seen her. Her eyes perk up as she processes him, while the rest of her face shifts into an expression that screams the hell do you want even though they both know she won’t say that out loud.

“What happened?” she asks, looking him up and down – looking for injuries, he suspects.

“I needed to make sure you were safe.”

“That’s not an answer.”

It is roughly one in the morning. There are a hundred reasons this is a bad time for any of this. Apparently tonight he is well past the point of caring about anything.

“Yes it is.” He takes a few deep breaths, tries to steady himself. He has spent his entire adult life – hell, a good half of what anyone else would count as a childhood too – facing down creatures of all kinds. Somehow a soft human woman who likes him is more terrifying. “I wasn’t sure, and… I worried.”

“Well, I’m fine,” Melissa shrugs, like her own safety has been the least of her thoughts tonight. “Is there some other reason you’re here?”

The last time he was here, he reminds himself, all hell broke loose and he got to watch this woman he’s starting to love almost bleed out. After that, getting out of town to run a little damage control down south felt more productive than keeping vigil outside her hospital room, and they haven’t exactly talked since then, and… okay, so he’s terrible at this whole normal outsider relationship thing, that wouldn’t surprise anyone. But he wants to be better. Will try harder for her, if she lets him. Right now that feels like a hell of an if.

“No. Just you.”

At least she’s not glaring at him anymore. No, now she looks like she’s going to cry, which may somehow be worse.

“I’m not asking for anything,” he continues, either trying to redeem himself or digging his own grave and he’s not sure where this ends and it’s not his call to make. “Just offering. Whatever I still am is yours.”

She rolls her eyes, softens a little. “Which means you did something you don’t want to tell me about because it’ll make my life complicated and or give me nightmares.”

“Something like that.”

“You’re lucky I like you.”

He moves closer, close enough to touch, close enough to hold her. A cautious look between them and he does. Another hesitant eye contact and he kisses her.

Hers. He is hers. That is what this new life hinges on.

“You’re not going to apologize for that, are you?” she murmurs. She’s run through the full range of emotions in the past few minutes and right now she seems to have settled on happy.

“Do I need to?”

“No.”

“Alright.”

This is not closure just yet. There are still so many conversations to be had, logistics to work out, lives to entangle.

But right now it’s late, and he knows she’ll ask him to stay, and… they’ll go from there.