#How do parking sensors work

[carparkingsystems]

Environmentally Friendly Parking-Sustainable Practices Modern Parking Management Systems Use

In the pursuit of sustainability, every business is looking for ways to lessen its environmental impact, and parking management systems are no different. Parking lots, which were previously disregarded in terms of environmentally friendly practices, are increasingly becoming focus points for innovation aimed at making them greener.

Read More : https://www.sotefinparking.com/eco-friendly-parking-sustainable-practices-modern-parking-management-system-uses/

[futurebird]

The more I learn about light pollution harms insects, the more I want to try to help... do something about it. But I live in NYC. It feels like an impossible ask. A whole city devoted to making the most light pollution possible.

I strongly suspect that we'd see a greater variety of wildlife if we could dim the light a little.

Just using colors like red light can help. So can dark hours and motion sensors. What if one day, as a treat, every New Yorker got to see the milky way?

Most people doing light pollution activism are working in places like national parks & deep in the country, places that are almost dark, where the lights are encroaching especially as the cost of very bright LEDs keeps falling: companies and municipalities say "why not? what's the harm?"

The harm is vast. So many creatures need the night to live. Maybe humans need it too. We do, at least, need those creatures.

I care about insects most. But if you don't consider: no bugs, no song birds.

Is reducing light pollution in a big city a hopeless cause? Is it better to focus on those once perfectly dark places being lit up?

One positive of making light pollution an issue in a big city is how it would raise awareness. Imagine if, in the small hours of the night the lights slowly shifted red. Lights with motion sensors that slowly gutter out. You can see NYC on the horizon glowing like a bomb went off for miles, that glow could dim a bit, give the stars a chance to shine.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Perfect Life || CL16 {5}

Summary: It’s Charles first real introduction to his new employee. Warnings: angst, swearing, sarcasm, underground fighting, injuries. WC: 2.7k F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six Taglist: RETIRED Head over to my dedicated library blog @dilemmaslibrary and opt to get notifications from there.

The black leather pants and hoodie hid your presence well as you crept through the backyard just before midnight. After years of sneaking in and out of the property you knew exactly where to step to avoid activating the motion sensor lights and Charles followed each step carefully. He had tried to get you to stay at home but finally relented to your stubbornness and changed into more inconspicuous clothes too. 

Eventually you reached the small gate that the gardeners used for supply deliveries and found Franco had left it unlocked. The gentle giant had worked security for the last 20 years and aided your escapes more than he liked to admit. 

“I hope you know how to ride,” you commented as you opened the caretaker’s shed and tossed him your helmet. 

Charles looked at the helmet and turned it so the moonlight caught the almost imperceptible writing on the black carbon - What doesn’t kill me makes me angry. “Fitting,” he chuckled before handing it back. “You wear it.”

“You’re the one with the career, you should wear it.” You swung your heel back and knocked the kickstand up before wheeling the motorcycle out of the shed. It wasn’t the quickest way out but you couldn’t risk waking anyone up with the engine so you always walked it down the street before climbing on. 

“It’s actually in my contract that I should avoid dangerous activities and I’m pretty sure this would count as one,” he said as he hung the helmet back on the handlebars and helped push the heavy bike along. 

“You’re welcome to stay here in that case, or walk.”

Charles scoffed and shook his head. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

You deemed it far enough from the house and swung your leg over the seat, patting the space behind you. “Get on.”

Charles’ arms wrapped around your middle as he took the seat and kicked the riding pegs out with his boots. 

“I’m not sure if you are brave or stupid,” you commented. “You do realise your life is in my hands now.”

“Ma said the two usually go hand in hand but I trust you.”

You were acutely aware of every inch of Charles that touched you for the 15 minute ride to the latest address you had received. His chest rested against your back and his hands that lay on your thighs, only shifting to hold your waist through the corners he leaned into. It was clear he had ridden before but it was probably his first time being the backpack. 

“This used to be a nightclub,” Charles said with a frown as you parked in an alleyway and killed the engine. 

The old staff entrance was propped open with a brick and you ushered Charles inside where the noise grew with each step. 

“Phones,” Rex said as he held his hand out in front of the door that led to the club. You handed yours over first, taking the tab with a number so you could claim it after but the rules were strict, no phones, no cameras. Charles had a harder time parting with his but eventually handed it over with a frown and the doors opened. 

The old three storey nightclub had an empty core surrounded by a spiralling staircase that descended two storeys into the basement and one that rose up. The biggest punters would be in the VIP area above and the spectators would line the rails to get the best view of the pit that sat central on the lowest level. 

Charles looked over the rail and blanched as two regulars went face to face, blood dripping from the gashes that had been opened by the bare knuckles they fought with. 

“Hey,” Arthur greeted with a beer in his hand. “I thought maybe he talked you out of coming.”

“As if, but I was hoping he would stay behind” you said, stealing his beer to take a sip. “Who’s going to bail us out if this place gets raided?”

“We’ll be fine,” Arthur joked. “He’s a runner so we can still call him.”

“Except they took my phone,” Charles grumbled. 

Arthur looked at his brother’s hand that almost always held the device and laughed until he noticed the dark sweatpants and hoodie he wore. “You stole my clothes.”

“You left them in my girlfriend's room.” Charles paused and stole the beer next, finishing it off with a cringe. “That is not a sentence I ever thought I would say.”

“While you ponder what your life has become, I am going to go get ready.” You turned and kissed Arthur’s cheek in farewell. “See you down there.”

“Where’s my kiss?” Charles asked, his brow arched in a challenge. 

You were already two steps away when you looked over your shoulder. “You can kiss my ass.” It unintentionally drew his eyes down your body to the leather that looked like it had been poured onto your skin and those eyes lingered on your ass until you descended the stairs and disappeared from sight.

“You do realise you are fake dating, right?”

Charles rolled his eyes and lightly shoved his younger brother. “I can still appreciate a good looking woman when I see one.”

“Well, keep those thoughts to yourself. She’s been hurt enough.”

Charles dragged a hand through his hair and nodded. “I know, she told me. I really fucked up, but I thought you were happy about the arrangement?”

“I don’t exactly have a genie lying around, so you're the next best hope she has of getting out of that hellhole.” Arthur shrugged. “I don’t have to tell you that if you fuck this up for her I will never forgive you.”

In the bathrooms of the basement you opened the duffle bag and changed into your usual sports bra and shorts before uncapping the Vaseline and smearing the gel over your cheeks. The familiar scent calmed your mind as you wiped the excess off and grabbed the tape to wrap your knuckles. The monotonous routine was your focus, the sounds outside the room fading as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Evidence of your tears still remained in your puffy eyes but you felt better having finally told him what had weighed you down for a decade. You didn’t want to read too much into that thought as you tied your hair back into a bun so no one could pull it in the ring. 

The bell for the end of the last fight rang out and you shook your head to clear it before kicking your bag under the sink and leaving. Arthur was waiting outside with Charles a few steps away and he checked your fists before walking to the ring. Blood splatters littered the vinyl floor that had been rolled out and two of the helpers were dragging an unconscious man out of the way.

“Bathroom is there if you’re gonna vomit,” you said to Charles as he swallowed nervously. From the other side of the ring Kaine was grinning at you, his mouth guard the colour of blood he was looking to spill, and you blew him a kiss. 

“You’re fighting a guy!?” Charles exclaimed as he realised that was your competitor. 

“There’s not exactly many female fighters to choose from.”

“You could get hurt, that man is huge.”

You rolled your shoulders out and bounced on the balls of your feet as you warmed up. “You’re really great at instilling confidence, you should have your own Ted Talk.”

“If you’re not going to help then go away,” Arthur growled before turning to face you. “Remember, he favours his right leg and Javier broke his collarbone last month. What doesn’t kill you?”

“Makes me angry.” You opened your mouth and Arthur put your mouthguard in before opening the cage door for the octagonal ring. On the floors above cash was trading hands as the bookies took the bets but you paid them no mind as you circled the floor with Kaine. 

“She’s going to get killed,” Charles choked as he laced his fingers in the chain link fence. “He’s massive.”

“She’s agile. What she lacks in size she makes up for with speed. Just don’t be shocked by what you see.”

“What do you mean? I'm already shocked.”

Arthur snorted a laugh. “Just wait, I didn’t even recognise her the first time. It’s like watching a completely different person take over her body.”

All the anger and hate that lay dormant in your body awoke when the bell rang and the ref stepped out from between you and Kaine. All the emotions that you kept bottled inside were released and your eyes narrowed on the man who was going to be at the receiving end. 

Kaine rushed across the mat with all the grace of a baby elephant charging on rollerskates. The very floor vibrated with each stomp of his size 14 feet and his fist reeled back and he poured his entire strength into the first punch. Unfortunately it was his bulk that slowed the punch down and you easily avoided the attack that could have probably crushed your skull. You ducked under his arm and used your spinning momentum to land a kick on his left knee. The joint twisted unnaturally and he cried out as with pain and anger. 

Arthur was right, he did favour his right leg and you had just re-injured the old ailment. Off balance, he tried to follow your quick movements but you were already back in front of him, jabbing a quick one-two combo to his core. Heat flared in your fists as they connected with the hard muscle of his abs but you welcomed the rush of adrenaline that followed the pain. Kaine threw a punch of his own and you skirted away but not quick enough and his knuckles more than caressed your cheek. You had dodged the knockout blow but there would still be a bruise to show for your slow reaction.

“Nice work,” you said with a grin as you circled around each other. “You almost got me, big boy. C’mon, take another shot.”

You probably shouldn’t have taunted him because there was no avoiding the roundhouse kick that rattled your rib cage and knocked the breath out of you with a gasp. It was a mistake to look at Charles through the fence but you saw the worry in his eyes and the white-knuckled grip he had on the chain. 

“Watch out,” he shouted as the concern turned to panic for what was coming behind you.

On instinct you dropped low and raised your arms to protect your head, barely missing the right hook that would have rendered you unconscious. Rage took over as he leapt forward on his good leg to attack again and you waited for him to overextend into the punch before stepping closer. It was impossible for him to defend in such a confined space and he was surprised by the sudden change. You planted your feet and drove the power of your punch up from your legs, twisting your hips as you rolled your shoulder and crashed your left fist into the softer skin protecting his kidney. A deep grunt expelled from him as he hunched over and you followed through with a right hook of your own. Right into his weak spot. 

His piercing cry was almost as sharp as the snap of bone under your knuckles and he stumbled back clutching his collar that was freshly rebroken. The roar of the crowd was deafening as the bell rang for the round’s end and you threw your swollen fists into the air while your ribs protested. 

Kaine limped back to his corner and shook his head to the ref, ending the fight after only one round. You tugged your mouthguard out and shook your head disappointingly. “Pussy.”

He spat his guard to the ground and winced as he cradled his arm over his chest. “Crazy bitch.”

You smiled at the insult and curled a finger. “Wanna come over here and say that?”

Unsurprisingly, he didn’t attempt to re-enter the ring so you turned and made your own exit. Arthur was waiting with a grin on his face and his arms open but before you could step into his embrace Charles was there. The shock barely registered when his arms curled around you and for a moment you felt something, but then the pain in your ribs reared its ugly head.

“Fuck,” you groaned as you shoved him away and looked down at the bruise already blooming along your side. “I think he might’ve broken one.”

“Shit, we need to get you to the hospital.”

It annoyed you how easy it was to read Charles' face. Concern, regret, anger. It was like reading a book and you wanted to tell him to relax but it was quite nice to have another person around who actually showed their feelings. 

“Great idea, and what do you think we should tell them?” you asked as you started to make your way back to the bathroom. “I don’t think ‘it was an accident’ is going to satisfy them.”

“Fine,” Charles sighed, “where do you normally go when you get hurt?”

You stared at Arthur and he stared back before his lips twitched and you both laughed. An irritated growl rumbled from Charles before Arthur pointed to the messenger bag hanging from his shoulder. 

“He makes a cute doctor,” you said with a wink before he followed you into the bathroom. Charles tried to follow too but you blocked the doorway. “Sorry, patient/doctor confidentiality.”

You cut off his protests with the door and leaned back against the cold wood. “Do you think he will still be there?”

Arthur nodded and opened the bag to pull out a few bandages and a bottle of arnica. “I don’t think you are getting rid of him anytime soon.”

“Great.”

“Is it really that bad?” Arthur asked as he gently dabbed the arnica over the bruises. 

“Kind of hard to erase a decade of hate, even if he is hot.”

Arthur grinned and you rolled your eyes. “You think he’s hot.”

“Shut up. I’m not blind.” You unravelled the tape from your knuckles before waving a hand over him. “You’re hot too but it doesn’t mean I want to date you.”

“Thanks? I guess?”

“You know what I mean. Would you date me?”

“Are you asking me out? It’s a bit awkward since you are dating my brother.”

You huffed and glared at his amused grin. “Fake.”

“Potayto, potahto. But, no, if you really need to know, I wouldn’t date you. You’re my best friend, you know me way too well.”

“Exactly, I could never be with someone who brushes their teeth in the shower.”

“Once, for fucksake, I did that once when I was running late.”

You screwed your face up and shook your head with disgust. “There’s no excuse, Tur. We will just have to be friends.”

“Carve my heart out now,” he mocked before patting your side. “All done. Ready to go?”

You thought about the man waiting on the other side of the door and sighed at the thought of having to sleep in the same room as him. “Do you want to stay the night?”

“Oh, no, no, I am not going to be your buffer. You gotta figure out whatever is going on between you and Charles on your own.” He kissed your cheek and grinned at the sour look on your face. “Love you.”

“Ugh, I hate you,” you groaned and his smile only grew wider at the lie.

“Tell Cha to call me in the morning, so I know he is alive.”

Click here for the next part.

[lolottes]

amity park in the non-ghostly chaos after the departure of the youngest fenton

The situation with the GiW had gotten worse. Even Vlad was starting to get sniffed at by them after the GiW heard things about Vlad election.

The three halfa came together, despite the tension between them, for a common plan.

Danny couldn't leave until the gate closed.

Vlad couldn't leave while he was still attached to Maddie

both were endangering the halfa's secret existence and so Dani was worried. but she owed Danny a favor.

Danny was going to tell these parents, without transforming himself, just making his eyes shine at the end. If it goes well, so much the better! they will have help for the rest of the plan!! Otherwise Vlad would intervene to prevent the worst while sending a message to Dani who would trigger the Fenton sensors and pretend to be Danny Phantom and Vlad intervene immediately physically.

Why? Vlad thought it was the best way to make the parents believe that Danny had only tested them and that they had failed.

…What happened

Maddie didn't hesitate to shoot Danny when Danny's eyes started to shine. Then the detector distracted her while Danny ran. The Parrent duo followed Danny BUT were stopped by Vlad, who argued with them, taking out a bottle of shiny green ecto contact lens while taking out custody waiver papers which a still very tunned Jack signed while declaiming that they were coming to show where their priority was and it was NOT Danny and his well-being!

when Maddie? ... she didn't stay to listen to Vlad and went running after Dani Phantom.

Suffice it to say, Danny wasn't entirely happy with this "little" addition to the plan on Vlad's part, but it worked, vlad knew how to put pressure on people to sign his papers after all, he did not succeed in the business world ONLY thanks to his ability to own people. These parents seemed to question themselves or at least jack but Danny no longer had enough confidence to stay at Fenton Work. Vlad convinced them to close the portal. In any case, even if they had refused, Vlad would have just sabotaged the machine without blowing up the whole neighborhood, he has the knowledge to.

Once that was done, Vlad and Danny no longer had any ties to Amity Park other than friendships and the position of mayor. After all, Maddie reacted like that to her son ... so Vlad resigned himself, he didn't think that Maddie would be the one who would react ... react like this and not even stay to hear all his talk....

Danny chats with his two best friends and these two both intended to aim for Gotham University knowing that it was the best choice of city for the three of them. So they would meet again, just for a few years of long-distance friendship.

Danny even told Valerie what happened, without the part where he was Phantom, although some implied that Valerie was thinking about the implication for her. Danny didn't insist.

Dani decided to stay a little longer at Amity Park. After all, if Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom moved at the same time, it wouldn't have been for the best.... But Vlad threatened, she won't stay at Amity Park for long, Vlad will officially adopt Dani but he had better be correct! otherwise she will run away!!!

Danny and Vlad move to Gotham after Vlad's resignation speech on the importance of family over career and another snap election.

Dani, under the title of Phantom, warned the few Danny "enemy" arriving at Amity Park without any portal of the situation. But the closure of the fenton and vlad portals caused ghost attacks to drop sharply. Soooo, Val asks Dani about the situation and listened about the fenton portal....

and valerie was not silent about this sudject!

She was also very verbal at school, like it was normal that he was always so tired! he had to sleep above the point of ghosts entering the living world!! he who was so afraid of the slightest ghostly appearance!!! how do you want to sleep like that?!? why didn't anyone visit the Fenton home with Danny's grades dropping and falling grades! his overall change in behavior!!! In hindsight it was normal that Jazz was so mature if she had to hold the bar !!! why had no teacher sounded the alarm! What do you mean, Mr.Lancer, you did it but it didn't work? !!! How? or did it block?

Quickly Vallerie was not the only one to search and ... it was Tucker who said the passing remark that ignited things: Maybe it was the government that didn't want the only designer of anti-ghost weapons to be distracted from their work after they signed their government contract

----

Meanwhile, Danny was preparing for the first gala as Vlad's child in the mansion of the richest family in the city and in the top three in the world.

no pressure

[1001aus]

The GIW is dangerous. They have weapons and armored vehicles and don't care about collateral damage. They've got the whole town under an information quarantine and have stopped new tech that could be used to bypass it from reaching them.

But the GIW is a relatively small organization and one that can't afford to be too noticeable. They and the Anti Ecto Act are a blatant violation of the Meta Protection Act, after all.

If someone who happens to look exactly like an Amity Park citizen should happen to show up somewhere more than twenty miles away using a different name... well, they don't have the kind of resources to keep track of things like that.

They can track the use of names and keywords. They can track bank accounts. They cannot dedicate the kind of technical or personnel resources it would take to use facial recognition at that scale.

Sure, for the most heavily exposed citizens they have to be careful about the trace amounts of ecto-radiation they give off, but only a few of them have a strong enough signature to be noticeable from more than a foot away even to the most highly sensitive equipment.

(Needless to say, the GIW do not have such equipment. It's well outside their budget. They only afford what they do have because the Doctors Fenton have no concept of how valuable their work is.)

For the creative and slightly liminal citizens of Amity Park there are plenty of ways past the quarantine line.

The Mansons and Vlad have to be allowed to come and go, of course; they move in the kind of circles the GIW can't afford attention from. Danny, Jazz, Sam, and Tucker dip into the Fenton portal when they want to and either come out Vlad's portal or get a friendly ghost to make them one.

For everyone else? There are farm fields immediately outside of town. Fields the GIW isn't able to stick sensors all over. For people whose ecto-signature doesn't radiate out more than about a foot, the net of monitoring is easy to slip past.

As long as they have to good sense not to talk about Amity Park outside of Amity Park, the GIW will never know how ineffective their lockdown is.

[rafecameronsmistress]

i want you to show me..

tw/cw: smut, name calling, oral, step brother, cnc?

it’s 2am on a weeknight and everyone in your house is asleep. you toss and turn in your bed horny and craving attention. you pull your tank top down a little exposing the pink lace of your bra and hike your tits up making your cleavage look enticing. you go on your phone and open up snapchat taking a selfie with pouty lips and sleepy eyes. “can’t sleep 😩“ you type then send it to a couple boys from your town, whom happen to be your stepbrothers best friends, Topper and Kelce. you knew if they were awake one of them was bound to answer, you were hot and they would give you what you wanted at any time of day. not even 2 minutes pass and Topper sends a picture back. he’s laying in bed, shirtless, with an arm behind his head flashing his cute smile. “sorry you can’t sleep babe, anything i can do?” score. you stand up in front of your floor length mirror, turning halfway to expose some ass that hangs out of your tiny shorts. “yeah, come over and help me 😉”. the thought of Toppers hands snaked through your hair has you getting hot and bothered. he replies now sitting up in bed with a shocked look on his face “really?”. you giggle and send another picture this time of just your bed “yes, really” you prayed he was actually going to come over or your vibrator was going to have to work over time. Toppers reply this time took way longer and you became annoyed thinking he wimped out. you flop backward onto your bed and let out a sigh, just as you start to slip your hand into your underwear you get a reply. it’s a picture of the road that says “on my way”. thank you god.

Topper is at your house within 10 minutes. he parks his Jeep in the area of the driveway where there’s no motion sensor lights, he knows the drill. you quietly open the large front door and wave him inside “hurry up” you whisper. he ducks inside and follows you down to the basement where your family has a bar, a movie projector, and large couches. you keep the lights off incase anyone wakes up, not wanting to be caught. you turn around to face him and grab his hand, walking backwards until your legs hit the couch. you lay back pulling him on top of you immediately running your hands across his stomach and up his chest. he buries his face in your neck sucking and licking your sweet spot. “mm i needed this, needed you” you tell him. he pulls his lips from your skin “yeah?” he grinds his clothed cock onto your heat. “fuck yeah” you moan at the friction, lifting your hips for more pressure. the room is encased in heavy breathing and the sound of a sloppy make out session. you push Topper on his back and bring his sweatpants and boxers just below his cock. you wrap your hand around his shaft and swallow half his length. Topper breathes in sharply “ssshit baby, that feels so good” he moans as he wraps his fingers in your hair.

“yeah, i bet it does Top” a third voice adds as the lights are switched on

you pop your mouth off his cock, your heartbeat in your throat now, “what the fuck?” you screech, scrambling to fix yourself

“shit” Topper sighs loudly “Rafe i-“

“save it, get your dick away from my little sister before i knock your fucking teeth out yeah?” Rafe threatens walking closer to the couch, Topper stands up adjusting himself and goes to say something but Rafe interjects “you have five seconds to get out of my fucking face” he grunts. Topper looks back at you with ‘sorry’ written across his frown then he turns and disappears

you stand there frozen in fear, will he tell your parents? how long was he watching? “always knew you were a little whore” he scoffs “how many of my friends have you fucked?” he cocks his head to the side. “i dont know what you want me to say i-“ you stutter, tears welling in your eyes. “i want you to answer my question” he smiles. “just Topper” you say hanging your head in embarrassment. Rafe steps into your space lifting your chin “you like sucking his dick?” you stay silent not wanting to talk about this with your step brother. he squeezes your face forcing you to look at him “you like being a slut? huh?” he laughs and gives you a light smack on the cheek, “show me what you were doing to Topper.” you stare at him wide eyed trying to comprehend what he just said “what?” you croak. “i want you to finish what you started” Rafe says. “but you’re my-“ he cuts you off finishing your sentence “i’m your stepbrother i know, and you’re just a dumb whore so it shouldn’t matter who’s dick is in your mouth” his smile is sinister now “get on your knees and continue doing your job” he demanded.

your face flushes and you feel your ears heating up. embarrassment and a little fear flooding through your body. “Rafe please” you beg as he pulls his pants down, “open your mouth” he says grabbing his lengthy cock. you comply taking all of him down your throat, vigorously bobbing your head. “yeah just like that pretty girl” he moans while collecting your hair to hold it out of your face. you bring both hands to his shaft and stroke him while you suck, catching a good rhythm. his heavy breathing and deep moans have you tingling between your legs, you squeeze them together in attempt to get some relief. so many thoughts are racing through your head the main one being ‘why am i getting off while i suck my step brothers dick?’

to be continued.. (???)

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Love You Too (Part 2)

Summary: As Jensen struggles to juggle solo parenting, Y/N becomes a safe place for him so he can be more present for his children. The more time he spends with her though, the more he has to deal with if he can or even should love again...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jenssen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 7,200ish

Warnings: language, angst, death of a spouse, lying, mentions of injury/death of a spouse/death of a parent, internal turmoil

A/N: Please enjoy all the torture I put poor Jensen through in this one!

______

“Hey, Jensen,” said Y/N the next day when she came back with her things to move in. I popped my head up from waxing Baby in the garage, Y/N giving me a smile.

“Hey. I got your house keys, credit card, garage door opener and sensor for the gate all set in your room,” I said.

“Thanks,” she said, opening the backseat of her car and pulling out a duffel. “Cool car.”

“Yes she is. Do you need help moving anything?” I asked. She shook her head and put the duffel over her shoulder, taking out a large suitcase and backpack before shutting the door. “If you need to make more trips you’re more than welcome to borrow the SUV.”

“Oh this is it,” she said with a smile, walking past and for the the garage door. She must have caught my face before I could make it blank, a little smirk appearing on hers. “I travel light.”

“Alright. If you need help with anything-”

“I got it Jensen,” she said. “But thanks. I’m just going to try and familiarize myself with everything today so I’m ready to go in the morning.”

“But you don’t-”

“You said you’re an actor?” she asked. I nodded and she adjusted the bag on her shoulder. “Do you wait until you show up on set to read a script or do you do that before hand?”

“Fair point,” I said. She headed inside and I went back to Baby, JJ coming a short while later looking for her chalk bucket. 

“Dad,” she said, bucket in hand as I finished up on the hood. “Will you play with us?”

“As soon as I’m done with chores,” I said, tossing the rag in the bucket and placing the bottle back in the cupboard on the top shelf. She picked up the half full jug of wiper fluid and I quickly snatched it out of her hand. “JJ. You are not supposed to touch anything in this cabinet and you know that. It’s dangerous.”

“I just wanna help you,” she said.

“I don’t need any help.”

“I wish you died instead of mom,” she said. She took off out to the driveway, Y/N walking back out to the garage at that exact moment.

“Jensen she didn’t mean that,” said Y/N as I put the jug away and grabbed a pair of work gloves from the bench. “You know how kids are.”

“They’d be better off with her than me. I know that’s true,” I said. I put on the gloves, Y/N walking around the car over to me. “Do you need something?”

“Why don’t I take the kids to the park for an hour? I’ll watch them. You take care of you, okay?”

“She’s seven. I know she didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah but dad needs to get his shit together after a comment like that. I’ve been in her shoes and believe me, all she wants is the parent she has left to be there. That’s all she wants.”

“I thought your dad…” I trailed off. She looked away and I nodded. “I’ll take the kids. I can ask the lawn service people to add a few things to their list.”

“What chores did you have left?” she asked. 

“Y/N, you start work tomorrow.”

“Jensen. What’s my job?”

“Take care of the kids.”

“Exactly. Me helping you going to play with your children, especially when one of them is upset right now, is my job. That takes care of them. Now what chores did you need to get done?”

“Water the outside bushes and plants. Prep lunches for school and daycare, snacks for the week.”

“Well I will handle the meal prep tomorrow morning. Point me in the direction of the hose and then I want to see your four tushes out of this house and coming back in a little while with smiles. Okay?”

“I’m gonna pay you for today,” I said. 

“Alright. Now go,” she said. 

“I owe you one.”

“Shoo Jensen,” she said. I took off the gloves and held up my hands. Fifteen minutes later the twins were rushing over to the playground to play with a friend from daycare that just so happened to be there and I was unfolding the blanket on the grass. “Do you want to play with me honey?” I asked. JJ stood there grumpily, shaking her head. “Why not?”

“You don’t want to play with me,” she said. She sat down and put her back to me, staring at the playground. I leaned over and picked her up, falling back on the ground and holding her up above me. 

“We can play-” I said before she squirmed and I dropped her. Straight onto my hip. I bit back every word threatening to slip out, JJ kneeling beside me as my face scrunched up.

“Dad?” she asked.

“I’m okay,” I breathed out. I forced myself to sit up, JJ hugging me tightly. 

“I’m sorry. I hurt your hip.”

“It’s alright. We have to be careful of it still is all,” I said, the pain fading away quickly. She still clung to me and I pulled her into my lap, kissing her temple. A woman walking by gave me a weird look and paused. “What’s your problem?”

She scoffed and took off, JJ quiet for a few minutes.

“Dad. There’s a police officer with that lady,” she said. I looked back over my shoulder, spotting a cop walk over to us. 

“Afternoon,” he said. 

“Hello,” I said, standing up, JJ tucking in close to my side. “Is there a problem?”

“Is this your daughter?” he asked. I glanced at the woman back on the path and gave her a glare. “Sir.”

“Yes I’m her father,” I sighed. “Those two twins over on the playground are mine too.”

“Do you have a photo sir?” he asked. I reached behind myself and got out my wallet, pulling out a picture and holding it out. “Is this the children’s mother?”

“Yes.” 

“Dad what’s going on?” asked JJ.

“A misunderstanding, honey,” I said. “Go play on the swings. I’ll be over in just a second.”

“Is this your father?” he asked her. She scowled and stepped in front of me. He knelt down and smiled. “What’s your name sweetie?”

“JJ. I want to go play with my dad.”

“I know. I just have to make sure kids like you are safe. It’s part of my job.”

“You suck at your job,” she said.

“JJ. Apologize,” I said.

“He’s being mean!”

“He’s doing his job. Apologize,” I said. She mumbled a sorry, the officer nodding as he stood up. 

“You can go play now JJ,” said the officer. She grumbled and went over to the swings when I waved her, the officer nodding. “You were seen hugging a small child. This was a welfare check on the child is all.”

“Am I free to go?” I sighed.

“Sorry for the inconvenience sir,” he said. 

“You know single fathers exist,” I said to the woman. The cop spun around and narrowed his eyes.

“You said the children’s mother was in the photo.”

“Yes she is. That photo is the last one I have of us all before she was killed in a car accident last year. Ackles. I’m sure you can look up the accident report,” I said.

“Have a good day sir,” he said. I turned around and ran my hands over my face, JJ suddenly at my side and hugging me again, two smaller pairs of arms joining her. I looked down, all three of them there and hugging my legs.

I took a deep breath. I was okay. I was okay.

“Come on. Let’s go have some fun on the swings.”

“Jesus,” I said, jumping up from my chair on the balcony that night. I walked over to the edge and looked down, Jared mid swing of another bean bag being tossed up there. “Calm down. I surrender.”

“Answer your fucking phone,” he said. I rolled my eyes and I got smacked in the face with a bag. 

“Jared! I’ll call your mom!” I shouted.

“You deserved that. I heard you had a run in with a cop earlier.”

“TMZ tell you that?”

“No. Our friend. Our friend who found out someone in his department was looking up Dee’s accident report. He found out what happened at the park and now I know and you’re being an asshole hiding away up there ignoring my texts.”

“How am I an asshole? It was no big deal. You’re the one breaking into people’s garages and smacking them in the face with their kid’s toys.”

“Because you promised me yesterday, asshole, you weren’t going to lie to me again. It wasn’t no big deal. You’re upset. I’m upset for you! Worst thing is it’ll probably happen again. I just…”

“The cop was doing his job. I just need to spend more time with the kids. Not doing chores or crap for them but being with them. Playing with them. It’s fucking getting to JJ and that kid tears my heart apart more and more every time I see her hurting like that. She grew up too fucking fast and the twins...they might not even remember their mom.”

“Jensen.”

“The things I say and do…they are children. They should never have to hear me say I don’t need help or think I’m too busy to play with them.”

“But you have been too busy and you do play with them. And you got help. She’s inside right now. Tomorrow you start fresh. You have help. You can be more of dad again instead of mom and dad. They’re tough kids. Don’t worry so much.”

“I know,” I said. I leaned against the railing and sighed. 

“Want me to come up?” he asked.

“I need to try and sleep. Y/N’s probably going to get an early start and have questions in the morning.”

“Okay. Call if you need something.”

“Night,” I said.

“Night,” he waved and I headed back inside. It was close to midnight as I locked up, checking the doors and alarm system one more time. The lights looked to be off in Y/N’s room but that was expected. I skirted upstairs quietly, checking everyone’s room, pausing at Arrow’s when she made a whimper. It was probably a nightmare. Thankfully they didn’t seem to bother her as much as Zeppelin and JJ. 

I pulled her door shut and went down to my room, closing the door softly, grabbing Danneel’s hoodie and putting it on before crawling under the covers in a pair of boxer briefs. I tugged up the hood and pulled the covers up, rolling into the middle of the bed. 

“Please let tomorrow be better. Please.”

“Good morning,” said Y/N, already drinking a cup of coffee and dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain maroon v neck when I walked downstairs. I yawned, no idea how she was already so together at six in the morning.

“Morning,” I mumbled. She had her hair up in a cute messy bun and I looked down at myself. Hair a hot mess and only in a pair of black boxer briefs. “I should probably put on some clothes.”

“This is your house. Wear whatever you normally would. Pretend I’m invisible,” she said. She poured me a cup of coffee into a mug, handing it over with a smile.

“Sounds like you worked for some real assholes,” I said, taking the cup. “As long as it doesn’t bother you, me walking around in my undies.”

“No, not at all,” she said with a little smile. I could have sworn for a second she looked me up and down but that was wishful thinking on my part. I wasn’t in shape like Jared and never would be was but I was fairly decent for being almost 43 years old I liked to think. Still, a very recently thirty year old was probably not thinking someone in their forties was the epitome of hotness. 

Epitome of hotness. Fucking hell. This is fucking worse than when I started falling in love with Dee and that was at least mutual.

“Would you like me to drop the kids off at school and daycare this morning?”

“Sure,” I said, popping my head up and away from what constituted as attractive to thirty year old women these days. “Car keys are on the table by the garage.”

“Okay great. I’m used to driving that kind of SUV,” she said. She seemed busy with making up food so I slipped past her quietly and got out the eggs and tossed a few into a pan. I washed up quickly and got out two pieces of bread, buttering each side and setting it down to wait for the eggs to finish. I yawned and stretched out, Y/N spinning around, staring smack dab at me. I quickly wrapped my arms around myself, shaking my head as I went back to the pan. “Would you like me to make lunch for you as well?”

“No thank you. I’m getting lunch with my manager today. You don’t have to make me coffee in the morning either, Y/N. Your job is to take care of the kids, not me,” I said. She rolled her eyes and I cocked my head.

“A cup of coffee is not difficult, Jensen. My job is to help you so if I can make dad’s life a smidge easier it’ll make theirs better too,” she said with a smile.

“You’re not like, a morning person are you,” I said, chuckling as she shook her head. “I don’t do peppy in the morning.”

“Oh no. I’m always a little nervous when I start a new job. I’ll get a rhythm down soon,” she said as I saw the eggs set.

“So what do you normally do once the kids are dropped off?” I asked, pulling a spatula out of the container on the counter.

“On a weekday I’ll review their schedule, see if anything different is going on. An average day like today I will clean their rooms, their bathroom, do some laundry while they’re at school, maybe some shopping. I’ll pick up the twins, bring them home for lunch, a little playtime, a nap. We’ll have some quiet time and maybe a craft or coloring before we get JJ from school. Then I’ll give them all a snack, we can get outside and play to get some energy out. I’ll help JJ with any schoolwork she has while the twins play and then I will start on dinner about the time you’ll be getting home. Since you have no plans currently tonight I’ll leave you guys be at that point until tomorrow unless you ask me for help.”

I blinked, opening my mouth and staring for a solid five seconds while she kept working on making baggies of snacks.

“So when do you take a break?” I asked.

“Naptime. I’ll have lunch with the twins. Don’t worry about me Jensen. That’s my normal plan but if you would like me to run some errands in the morning I can.”

“No, no. Just…” I trailed off. She really didn’t get why she was here, did she? “I still want to make them breakfast and dinner and play with them too is all.”

“We’ll figure out the right mix of things,” she said. “You just gotta tell me is all, okay? It can vary day to day too.”

“Yeah,” I said, taking the fried egg out of the pan and placing it on one piece of bread. I put the other piece on top and made a sandwich, taking a big bite. I let out a quiet sigh. I didn’t want her to do everything. Just help. But where was that fucking line? I was either going to do too much or too little and fuck everything up again. I felt her staring as I looked out the back window, taking another bite of food. “I never asked. How was your birthday?”

“Hm?” she hummed, a glance over my shoulder catching her dropping some carrots into a reusable bag.

“On Saturday you said it was your 30th. You do anything fun that night?” I asked with a soft smile. I dared to spin back around, her back to me while she worked. She probably went out with friends, got drinks. 

Maybe picked up a guy.

I looked down, squeezing my eyes shut. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stop fucking thinking about her like that.

“I got a new job. That was the highlight of my day,” she said as she spun around, my head quickly snapping up before she noticed. I couldn’t help but cock it though. It was her birthday. Her thirtieth. She was beautiful. How was getting another nanny job the highlight of it? Maybe she felt self-conscious about it. No idea why, she looked amazing. “I ordered pizza, binged netflix. My normal Saturday routine.”

“I know everybody jokes about 30 but it’s really just jokes. Wait until you’re 42,” I chuckled, Y/N smiling. “Then you really feel old.”

“Most 42 year olds would kill to look like you,” she said. She shut your eyes and shook her head but I smiled when she looked away. Maybe I wasn’t so bad after all. “I’m so sorry. That was so inappropriate.”

“It’s alright. I took it as a compliment,” I said. She looked embarrassed and I cleared my throat, taking a bite of food. “So you did nothing for your birthday, huh?”

“Uh, no,” she said, mixing in some grapes into each of the snack bags. I frowned and popped the last piece of food into my mouth. Why didn’t she celebrate? Not even a slice of cake? A little lightbulb went off in my head and I started to smile, Y/N giving me a strange look.

“I’m gonna get you a birthday cake,” I said. She looked mortified and started to shake her head but I held up a hand.

“Mr. Ackles-”

“I thought I said it’s Jensen. I’m the boss so what I say goes. We’re gonna have a birthday cake for you tonight. So. What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Whatever you want is perfectly fine.” I rolled my eyes and groaned, swearing I caught a quick smile on her face.

“Y/N.”

“…I like red velvet,” she said. I broke out into a huge smile and laughed. Of course. Of fucking course she said red velvet.

“That was my wife’s favorite,” I said. “Haven’t had that since her birthday. She would have liked you.”

“You think so?” she asked. I took a deep breath and felt calm for a moment, nodding back at her.

“Yeah. You’re quite kind to me. She was always protective of me, even if she was the scaredy cat most of the time.”

“Can I ask how…” she said. The calm quickly left and I swallowed. I told her died unexpectedly in a car accident right? Or just died unexpectedly? No, I said car. Right. Car accident. Fuck, why’d I have to start saying she died in her sleep too. Because that made more sense than the fucking brain aneurysm while driving but that was our shitty luck...she’s staring idiot. Talk. Now.

“Accident. Tractor trailer versus her car. He tried to miss her but it was too late. I wanted to hate the guy too but it was an accident and I couldn’t blame him for that.”

“My father died in a car crash when I was six. It does get better with time,” she said.

“That’s why you didn’t know if he had a picture of you in his wallet or not,” I said as she nodded. She looked away and I shuddered at the thought the kids wouldn’t know things about their mother. “You’re too young to have that much tragedy in life.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not young anymore.”

“You’re young and overly generous,” she said with a smile. She was being polite. Or maybe not. Either way I’d take it.

“Misery loves company,” I said as we both heard a few feet above us running around. “Munchkins are up.”

“You want to make breakfast or should I?” she asked.

“Give me five minutes to get them in some clean clothes. Then I can show you how they like their eggs.”

“Sounds like a plan, Jensen.”

I headed upstairs, catching Zeppelin chasing Arrow up and down the hall, both of them giggling before stopping at my feet.

“Daddy you’re all smiley,” said Arrow. I looked down and shook my head, her eyes lighting up. “Yes you are!”

“It must be because you two are going to run off and get dressed this morning all by yourselves,” I said. They shared a look, that twin look, and both took off running with slightly evil laughs. “I fear the day you two are teenagers.”

“Good morning,” yawned JJ, walking out of her room dressed and giving me a hug. 

“Good morning,” I said, bending down and picking her up, giving her a squeezing hug.

“Okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. Daddy’s okay today,” I said, a thud and Zeppelin running back crying. “What hurts buddy?”

“I don’t know,” he said as I squatted down with JJ on my good hip, picking him up and settling him on the other.

“Well, that’s okay. Sometimes you just gotta cry it out,” I said. He made a face but I smiled, his confusion getting him to calm down by the time Arrow was running down the hall. 

“Daddy,” she groaned. I chuckled and spun around, Arrow climbing up on my back. 

“Who needs a workout when you got a hundred pounds on your back,” I said. “Alright, alright. We can have breakfast in pajamas today. I want you guys on your best behavior for Y/N okay? She’s new and has a lot to learn still, like your favorite eggs.”

“Hot sauce,” said JJ.

“That’s my girl,” I chuckled, feeling her hug me hard for a split second. I kissed the top of her head and went back towards the stairs. “Alright. Who’s hungry?”

“Hey handsome,” I heard as I was walking through the parking lot. I spun around, sighing as Jared walked over with a laugh. 

“Why must you do that?” I sighed.

“Cause seeing that look on your face is funny,” he said, looking me up and down. “Heading in?”

“Finished up for the day. More Batman, some video game and my manager wanted me to record an audition for some animated movie. You?”

“Walker dubbing. Again,” he said. “You’re not going strictly voice acting on me are you?”

“No. Just was kinda easy to do that while I was recovering. Drive downtown, record, drive home.”

“Excited for The Boys?”

“Yeah. Nervous. I never really made a final decision on what to do with the kids. My parents offered to stay at the house and watch them.” Jared cleared his throat and I smiled. “I know you offered too. But I just…”

“I know. You thought things were different when you took the job,” said Jared. “When The Boys is over you know I could get you a recurring guest start spot on Walker. Like anytime.”

“I know,” I shrugged, rubbing my arm. “It’s your show though. I mean we literally ended Supernatural last year. I don’t want to butt in.”

“Why would you think that?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. I rolled mine, Jared grabbing my arm, walking between the cars with me. “You are really starting to scare me.”

“Because I want to give you space and let your show be your show? Dude, relax. I didn’t say I don’t want to. I can’t wait to work with you again. But the show is new and it’s your baby right now. I’ll be on someday, I promise.”

“I just-”

“I know. But I have ideas and projects and losing Dee changed things. Maybe I do want to be able to work at home in Austin more. But let me figure that out first?”

“Fine,” grumbled Jared.

“Hey. I’ll make you a deal. I will absolutely direct in season 2 and maybe I can do a guest spot or two if you and me sit down sometime this year and brainstorm that reboot mini-series for like five years from now. Deal?”

“I was gonna do that anyways,” said Jared with a big smile, holding out his hand. I shook it, getting a quick hug. “How’s the hot nanny?”

“Shut up,” I said, pushing him away but smiling. 

“You still like her?”

“Honestly? I think I’m in deep shit.”

“Good,” he said. “I like that dumb fucking smile on your face.”

“I bought her a birthday cake. Is that weird?”

“Not unless it’s not here birthday.”

“It was on Saturday but she didn’t celebrate for some reason.”

“No, not weird then,” he said. “Find out if she’s single yet?”

“Not a clue.”

“Find out tonight buddy.”

“I’ll try. I gotta run. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Later Jackles.”

“Thanks for giving up your night with them. I didn’t mean to have that happen,” I said after Y/N finished reading the kids a bedtime story. 

“It’s no problem. It’s good bonding for us,” she said as we headed back downstairs to the kitchen. She helped pick up the plates at the table and wash them off before sticking them in the dishwasher. She looked a little tired but for some reason that made her look even prettier. I swallowed and went over to the tall cabinet and reach up top, grabbing a bottle of whiskey as Y/N covered up what was left of the cake. 

“Drink?” I asked. She smiled and pinched her fingers close to each other.

“A small one,” she said. I poured a single into a whiskey glass for her, smirking when she took a sip and made a face. “Oh that’s smooth.”

“Very,” I said, pouring my own glass. “Thank you for tonight. JJ’s been…”

“She’s the oldest. She’s gonna have a harder time with it.”

“You were about her age when your dad died you said?” I asked. She nodded and took a deep breath.

“She’ll be okay. She’ll miss her but it won’t be a deep pain. She’ll have nice memories of her mom. She’s doing pretty good, trust me.”

“Can I ask another personal question?”

“I’m off the clock. Shoot,” she said.

“Your mom ever…try again with someone else?” She waited a beat but smiled, nodding a few times.

“Yes. Years later she found a good guy. He actually is who I stayed with after she passed. He’s married now, has some kids of his own but I know if I call him up he’d drop everything for me.”

“Good. I was getting afraid you were a complete Shakespeare tragedy,” I chuckled. Whew. At least she had somebody out there to watch her back if she needed it.

“Nah. I’m not at that level of crazy in my life,” she said. “As long as we’re off the clock, can I ask if you’re asking because you’re thinking of getting back out there?”

I took a drink and smiled. Still perceptive. Still adorable. But her face looked gentler almost, like she’d drop it in a second if I asked.

“I am. My wife kind of insisted on it. When we first got serious we had this deal that we’d go try again if something happened. I mean, I don’t cry everytime I think about her now. I can smile and be happy and that ache doesn’t try to swallow me up everyday anymore. I think it’s time I could get back out there.”

“I’d say it is. The kids are ready. They’ll understand.”

“You think your mom loved the second guy as much as your dad?”

“For sure. She was a bit of a free spirit but she didn’t think you had to have just one soulmate. She told me that after she’d met Ray. She said she got two so maybe I had two out there. I haven’t found either one of them yet so I’ll take increasing my odds as best I can.”

Oh. Oh God she’s single.

Yes!

Fucking yes! I swallowed, thinking what she’d just said and grinned. Two soulmates. I kind of liked the sound of that.

“Well you’re not gonna meet your soulmate sitting at home on Saturday nights, Y/N.” I said, clearing my throat.

“Just a lot of douchey guys,” she said.

“Ah. You need to meet a better kind of guy is all.”

“Yeah see I’m thirty. All the good guys are married by now.”

“Oh all of them are taken. I didn’t realize that,” I said with a chuckle. “What am I then? Another douchebag?”

“You don’t count. You’re…”

“Too old for you?” I laughed nervously. Oh how the hell any woman had ever gone out with me was a miracle. I was a fucking wreck at this.

“My boss. Plus you’re like famous. You can go get like a victoria secret model or something.”

“Looks ain’t everything.” 

“Maybe I ought to try older guys now that you say that,” she said. I took another sip and let it burn in the back of my throat. Go slow idiot. Test the waters a bit.

“Y/N, you gotta be careful with that. I don’t want to see you get taken advantage of.”

“And this is why I watch netflix on Saturday nights,” you said.

“You serious about the older guy crack?” I asked.

“I do find them more…attractive sometimes. I guess it depends on how old. Why?”

Maybe she was looking me up and down that morning...maybe.

“I got a friend my age, might be interested?” I asked, hiding behind a smile. Why the fuck did I say that? All I wanted to know was if she’d consider someone older, not that.

“I don’t know,” she said. “No offense to your friend but…I mean if he’s 42…I want kids and stuff you know? Although a dude it doesn’t really matter how old…I don’t know.”

“It was just a thought,” I said. I took another sip but she was smiling. Okay. Maybe that wasn’t two old for her.

“I’ll think about it,” she said. “He’s not a weirdo, right.”

“No. He’s an actor. Something to think about.”

“I will,” she said, sounding like she meant it. “Thank you for the birthday cake, Jensen. You’re a good person.”

“I bought a cake.” She looked down and finished off her drink, the air heavy for a few seconds, her body tense before it relaxed. 

“Yeah but I haven’t really had one of those in years. You’re a good person.”

“You’re very welcome,” I said as she slid off her seat. “You’re free to hang out if you like.”

“I’m kinda tired. I won’t be getting up that early from now on I don’t think.”

“I completely understand. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Jensen.” She headed down the hall to her room and I put the liquor away, checking the hallway after a beat, her door shut. I wanted to give her a hug but that was crossing a line. 

“Daddy,” said Arrow, walking down into the kitchen. I turned and smiled, walking back over. “Can I have a little milk?”

“Okay but just a little. Want it warmed up?” I asked. She hummed and I poured her a small glass in one of her sippie cups, heating it up before popping on the lid and handing it over. “Back to bed now.”

“Why didn’t Y/N’s mommy and daddy get her a birthday cake?” she asked.

“Y/N’s parents aren’t around anymore munchkin. She lost her mommy and daddy when she was a kid too.”

“Oh,” she said softly, pausing by the bottom of the stairs. She stared, the gears grinding in her head. She’d only been three at the time but she actually understand strangely enough what it meant that mom was gone. Zeppelin was the hard case to crack but she somehow explained it to him and one day it clicked for him too. 

“Honey?” I asked, squatting down beside her. 

“Does mommy know Y/N’s parents now?” she asked.

“Maybe,” I said with a smile, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“I hope so.”

“Me too. Go on up to bed now. I’ll race you.” She took off with her cup and I smirked when she got to the top of the stairs. “That one never fails.”

“You think I’m hot,” I said to myself the next day. I hummed as I walked into the bathroom, sweating after working out. Y/N was hopefully enjoying her break. I grinned, looking at myself in the mirror and ripping my shirt off. “She was so staring. She was so staring.”

I started to undress, whistling before I turned on the water, catching myself in the mirror again. My eyes landed on the scar and I quickly looked away, getting under the stream.

“Stop acting like a fucking idiot. She doesn’t even...of course she’d stare. I stare at good looking sweaty men of course she would too.” I sighed and sat down on the shower bench, putting my head in my hands. “Dee tell me what to do. Please. Make me forget this girl exists.”

“Jensen! I’m going to the store!” called Y/N through the closed bedroom door.

“Drive safe!” I shouted back. I lifted my head and stood up, pursing my lips. “Gonna make me figure this out on my own, aren’t you.”

I tilted my head back under the water, swallowing thickly. 

“Jensen! I just took a shower!” said Dee, smiling when I pulled her flush to me. 

“Take another one,” I said, kissing her soft lips, her hands resting on my hips and squeezing them. “Bed.”

“The kids have to go to camp in less than-”

“Fine,” I groaned, throwing my head back. I jumped when she slapped my ass, slipping out of the shower.

“I’ll play with you later,” she teased. She grinned as she used my towel to dry off before she went back to her vanity to do her makeup quickly. 

“Dee?”

“Because I’m over forty and you know how some of the moms are. Fucking little vultures,” she said, putting on some mascara. 

“I didn’t say anything,” I hummed.

“You were thinking it.”

“That you’re hot without makeup? Oh no. I wasn’t thinking that at all,” I said, giving her a bitchface. “Are you ever going to stop giving a fuck what other people think?”

“No,” she sighed. “But I am better.”

“I know. You sure you don’t want to shower with me?” I asked, jutting out my lip. She smiled and winked. “Dee.”

“Later sweetie. I promise.”

I looked over to the empty vanity. That was the last morning she stood there. Fucking worried about looking put together enough for the carpool line. I breathed deeply, looking at the pile of sweaty clothes on the floor, Y/N popping into my head.

“I like her Dee. I really fucking like her. I don’t know what to do.”

Three Days Later

“Hey,” said Jared, already out front of his when I got there. “Everything cool?”

“No,” I said. “Drink?”

He waved and I followed him around to the back table, Jared leaving and returning after a moment with a bottle and two glasses.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. I took a long sip and sighed.

“Y/N got hurt tonight.”

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah she’s fine. A scrape. But Jared...this is not a crush. I’m positive of it.”

“Didn’t we already establish that?” I turned my head and glared, Jared giving it right back. “Dude. What are you asking? Permission?”

“No. I don’t need anyone’s permission to date someone.”

“So I take it Y/N is in fact single.” I nodded, Jared leaning back in his chair. “Jensen. Dee can’t tell you that it’s okay. You have to trust that she’d want you to be happy again.”

“I know she does but...it feels wrong. I feel like I’m cheating on her with another woman.”

“Have you told Y/N-”

“No. As far as she’s concerned I’m just her nice boss. Jesus Jare, this poor girl has had a more fucked up life than me easily and she’s so nice and kind and I can’t throw my shit on top of her.”

“Jensen. How old were you when you started to date Dee?” he asked.

“Twenty nine ish. Why?”

“So for twenty nine years before that you were on your own. You dated other people but no one that you loved like that. Do you really want to go another twenty nine years, more than that, on your own?”

“I want my wife back.”

“Spit out what you’re spiraling over. What, you think Dee will love you less if you love another woman?”

“I’m not having this discussion with you.” I stood up, Jared catching my wrist. I tugged on it, Jared getting to his feet and staring me down. “Move.”

“I know you’re not used to being the one with the problems. I know I’m the one always screwing up and always needing you to take care of me but I’m the one in charge this time. Now sit your ass down and talk or I swear to God I will call up every member of your family right now and tell them you haven’t seen a damn therapist at all.”

“Don’t threaten me,” I growled.

“I say we call them anyways. You’re the one that to this day continues to check that Jared doesn’t miss therapy,” said Gen, shoving a bowl of chips on the table when she stepped out there. “Always have to be the tough one don’t you Ackles. Go to fucking therapy and let them deal with you because obviously we’re not getting through that head of yours.”

“You told her?” I snapped.

“He didn’t tell me shit. I’ve always known you weren’t going.” I stared at her and she crossed her arms. “I live with Jared. I know when someone is actually going and when someone is pretending to. I’ve kept my mouth shut because I thought he knew the whole time. Jensen, you need help. Real help.”

“Well I’m sorry. Obviously I didn’t realize how much I was bothering you two,” I said. I took a step, Jared squeezing my wrist. 

“Tell her,” said Jared. “Tell her about Y/N.”

“What happened to your nanny?”

“Jens?” said Gen, sliding a plate of leftovers in front of me a short while later. I looked up, a soft smile on her face. “I’m sorry for snapping. I thought…”

“I’m sorry for being so defensive. Honestly I’ve been hiding a lot from everyone lately, including Jared.”

“She would not love you less if you fell in love again. I can guarantee it,” she said.

“Part of me knows that. The other part of me feels so damn guilty for even entertaining the thought of another woman.”

“But why? Because you think Dee would be upset?”

“Because how is that far to her and the other woman? How can I love two woman completely like that at the same time? It’s not fair to either one of them.”

“You love JJ?” asked Jared, leaning back against the counter.

“Of course.”

“Zeppy? Arrow?”

“Obviously.”

“How can you possibly love three children completely at the same time? It’s not fair right?” said Jared. I blinked, a smirk on his face. 

“That’s…” I started, poking at my food. “Okay that actually kinda makes sense. You couldn’t have said that to me like a week ago?”

“You weren’t being this much of a dumbass a week ago,” said Jared. I pouted, getting a side hug from Gen. 

“You gonna ask her out?” she asked. I shrugged, Gen ruffling my hair. “Well maybe you can hang out like friends at least.”

“Yeah. I can handle that,” I said. 

“Gen,” said Jared, Gen leaving the room, Jared coming over to my side. 

“You’re gonna say I should go see someone.”

“I’m gonna say, try cutting yourself a break. You’re the nicest guy I know. Try being nice to yourself for a change. Deal?” I nodded and took a few bites of food before standing. 

“Jare. Sorry for...it’s just scary you know? I don’t know if I said goodbye for the last time or not to Dee and…it’s just hard.”

“I think life is too complicated for the two of us to figure out the actual answer to that. But I think she’s up there too pulling her damn hair out watching you freak out over all this. She’d be wingmanning you so hard right now. You know, forget how you feel for a second. Just be Y/N’s friend.”

“I will,” I said. “Thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Goodnight lover boy,” he said as I headed for the front door.

“Gen! Jared wants you to do that thing with the little black-“

“Shut up!” said Jared, Gen smiling as I slipped into the sitting room.

“Don’t take it easy on him,” I winked at her.

“I never do,” she said. “Night Jay.”

“Night guys. Thanks for putting up with me.”

“Always.”

One Week Later

“Y/N,” I said, catching her washing her car in the driveway on a Saturday morning. “Got plans today?”

“Uh, I was gonna run to the grocery store in a minute but other than that, no. Need me to watch the kids?”

“No. We were going out to lunch and then going to a little car show was all and we were wondering if you’d like to join us. Totally up to you. My treat.”

“You don’t want me to watch the kids?” she asked. I laughed and crossed my arms. “I’m confused.”

“Do you want to hang out with us today? For fun?” I asked. Come on. Just say yes and have some fun. All you ever do on the weekend is chores and stayed holed away on your side of the house anyways.

“Oh,” she said. “That’s okay. You enjoy your time with the kids.”

“How do I make this clearer,” I said, walking over to her and looking down. “I want you to come with us, as a friend, to do something fun, like friends do. This is not work. Come if you want to.”

“You sure you want me to come?” she asked. I rolled my eyes and plopped my baseball cap off my head and onto hers as I walked away. She tilted the brim up, looking up through her lashes, a soft smile on her face.

“Yes. And wear sunscreen,” I said. “We’re leaving at eleven thirty.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you guys then.”

_________

A/N: Part 3 coming TBD!

[luna-andra]

The Shadows Return | Simon 'Ghost' Riley x OC Retired AU | Chapter 8: Compromise

Summary: Andra wants answers, and Ghost has to choose

Word Count: 6.5k

If this is the first time you're seeing this, Chapter 1 is here. You can find the rest on my masterlist!

Content: slow burn, eventual smut, 18+, fluff, mentions of mental health, mild violence

The clouds on the way home were overcast across the afternoon sky. Johnny left Andra with several things to think over, bringing her back to a familiar train of thought from five years ago.

He gave her the same look that stirred shame in her belly. She didn’t like being on a different level of rationality – or lack thereof – with the people once close to her.

It was declared by the officer that showed up there was no indication of foul play. The possibility of an incompetent and inconvenienced officer being sent to her call was in the forefront of her mind, and also the possibility of any traces of someone’s presence could have been washed away from the thunderstorm by the time they came out to investigate. The whole process of filing the report gave her no peace of mind, but she took the advice of setting up surveillance seriously.

A precautionary that she should have done ages ago.

The quiet, quaint life out on the farm had soothed her troubled worries all of these years, making her forget for a moment what it was like to live looking over her shoulder every moment. She wasn’t naïve, no, she knew how to take care of herself when the seldom case of harassment arose. Andra should have never gotten so comfortable the way she did.

Her foot pressed down heavily on the brake pedal as she waited at a stop light to rub the exhaustion from her eyes. She was just a few more turns from home, she reminded herself. The caffeine she had ingested all throughout the morning was threatening a big crash.

Andra drove slowly down Middleton Lane as she spotted the first right turn to the private dirt road of Ghost’s property. Then her truck came to a full stop. You know what-

Her hand turned the wheel right as her tires skid around the corner.

Andra didn’t know what she was doing, or what she would exactly say to him, but she needed to know what was going through his head.

Andra parked behind his truck and turned the key out of the ignition. She paused for a few seconds to take a breath and gather at least the first sentence that would come out of her mouth.

Her phone vibrated.

I’m in the garage.

Of course Ghost knew Andra had arrived, another sign that she definitely needed to do the same thing to her property. Cameras and motion sensors.

She shut the door behind her as she made her way to the garage off to the right of his house. One of the metal double doors was left cracked open, and she could hear the metal clink of a tool being put down.

The garage was Ghost’s own personal auto shop, with an incomplete classic-looking car taking up majority of the left. The wall was lined with tool boxes, yard tools, and almost a pallet’s worth of army green ammo cans. To the right, a rudimentary gym setup took up another portion of space, with a bench press, a high pull-up bar, seemingly crafted and welded together amateurly, and a rack of assorting dumbbells and plates to complete it all.

Ghost was hunched over the open hood of the car, one hand on the lip of the hood as he kept his attention on whatever he had been working on before Andra’s unannounced arrival.

“Is this your way of letting me know that you’re pushing me away again?” Andra sharply said to the backside of Ghost.

Ghost tossed a tool onto the toolbox on his left side and retrieved a rag, wiping grease from his stained hands. His muscles tensed in his back as he turned to Andra’s direction. “Today has been a really tense day. I wanted to give you some space to come down from last night.”

Andra clenched her jaw. “I don’t need space, I need answers. I feel like I’ve been kept in the dark about something I have no control over.”

“That’s because you don’t.”

She could feel her blood simmering already. Not how she wanted this to go. “I don’t because you never gave me the choice to take control.” Andra couldn’t recognize the person she was talking to. His stare was cold and dark. If his goal was to anger her into cutting her losses with him, it wasn’t going to work. “You didn’t tell me anything because we lost touch the first time, fine, I get it. But you went ahead and told Johnny? That’s what I can’t get passed.”

Ghost trudged out of the garage with Andra following behind him. “He and I had an eye on things. We had it under our thumbs.”

Andra tossed her hands up. “Had what exactly?” Her voice echoed all around them. “What the hell is going on with you?”

He turned back to her, stopping her in her tracks before bumping right into him. Ghost peered down to her, his eyes burning the same heat. “What do you want from me? You want me to take back what I did?”

Her fists clenched hard enough for her nails to dig into her palm. “No, I just want you to stop being such a hard ass and talk to me.” Her carotid artery strained against the muscles in her neck. “Tell me what you think is going on and we’ll deal with it together.”

He flinched as if her hand flew across his face.

“You keep acting like you’re looking for an excuse to push me away, for an excuse to leave.” Andra’s chest rose and fell with a heavy rhythm. “You act as if one morning I’ll wake up and you won’t be here, and you’ll just be a memory for me.”

His eyes squeezed shut as his own breath left him.

“You’ve thought about it, haven’t you? Leaving without another word, taking your shadows with you.” There was a shiver in her voice.

“I have.” Ghost finally answered. “I could leave in a moment’s notice. I’ve done it before.”

Andra didn’t doubt him. She had done it herself, she knew how easy it was to pack a couple of bags and leave. “What’s stopping you this time?”

Ghost opened his eyes to meet hers.

She scoffed and turned away from his silent response. The wind picked up and wisps of her hair flew around her face. She had to squint her eyes at the unbearable overcast sunlight. “I was able to forgive you for cutting me off the first time. I shook it off because there was no expectation for you to keep in contact after fixing my truck. Then you came back, and I thought you wanted me in your life, and maybe we even had something. Cool. Great, even.

“But when you brought up the transpiring events, the person driving up our street and telling me there have been people on my property?” She shook her head. “You think you’re handling this on your own but you’re not. I won’t let you. Either you let me know what’s going on, or you’ve lost my trust.”

His eyes were unreadable when she saw him once more.

Andra reached into her pocket and flipped her keys into her palm, the key ring sitting on her index finger as she clenched them tight. “I’ll see you around, Ghost. If you figure out what you want to do, you know where to find me.”

The screen door smacked the side of the house harder than it should. Andra wasn’t paying attention. Her face still felt hot with anger. Sammy darted outside for her chance to do what she does, leaving her alone in the house.

The air felt thick, charged with energy that wasn’t there when she woke up the morning before. Or maybe it was her mind messing with her. Either way, her house felt compromised.

The tears collected in her eyes out of nowhere, and she quickly wiped them away. This is stupid. She felt ridiculous for letting it get to her. For letting a shattered window re-surface the fear that drove her away to another country.

This was all going to blow over. The tracks in the woods were a random coincidence, the car meant nothing. And the rock flying into her window was just a freakish feat of nature. She’s witnessed some heavy storms in the countryside in her years of living here. It wouldn’t be the first time something has sustained damage on her property, and it was bound to happen again.

“Be kind to yourself.” Andra whispered to herself as she kicked her shoes off, remembering what she was taught in therapy and from self-help reading. However, being kind to herself was proving difficult with the lingering anger from talking to Ghost.

The nerve of him.

But also, the nerve of her. She felt the weight of her corrosive past. An affliction, threatening to dismantle the life she had built. It had to be irrational, she was no one. She wasn’t worth being tracked down, right? That’s the rhetoric she kept force feeding herself. They had succeeded in getting rid of her, she made sure of it. At this point, if anyone wanted to pursue in finishing the job, she would end up burning a hole in their dirty wallets.

And if Ghost was going to play the need-to-know card, two can play that game.

She stopped in her tracks as she walked into the kitchen, catching a glimpse of the black trash bag covering her window. It crinkled and swayed inward and outward with the passing wind. The ever-growing chasm in her chest was making itself comfortable, and she couldn’t stand it.

-----

 Ghost knew Johnny would stop calling after the second time he reached his voicemail. The third call in a row told him that he better answer the phone. His heavy hand reached out to the nightstand for his phone, swiped his thumb across the screen and pressed it against his ear, eyes closed. “Yes, sir.”

“You broken, Simon?”

Price’s gravelly voice came through the speaker on his phone, and it was like a splash of cold water on him. It was a question he was familiar with Price asking, except he’s no longer checking for missing limbs or hemorrhaging blood loss. Ghost sat up on the edge of his mattress and rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes. “M’solid.”

“When’s the last time you got a full eight hours of sleep?” Price asked.

Ghost took a quick glance at the time on his phone before returning the receiver to his ear. “I was getting’ rest before you woke me up.” He was only asleep for two hours, and his pounding head reminded him that it had been a restless 72 hours.

Price doesn’t reach out very often. The captain – along with the other lads – will dedicate an amount of time out of the year to catch up with the former task force in person. It was an annual event of spending the holidays doing anything but celebrating Christmas and New Years. When he hears from Price before November, it’s because he’s been tipped off on Ghost’s concerning behavior.

“Soap tells me you’re acting barmy, you think you’re being followed, son?”

There it was.

Ghost didn’t respond for a few beats, his feet felt like lead against the cold wooden floor. “A couple of events transpired, would put you on edge, too.”

He could hear a deep sigh come from the other end of the line, and it had Ghost clench his jaw. “Get yourself to an appointment or a meeting, or I’ll bring the meeting to you.”

Price’s demand sent a wave of guilt and shame through Ghost. The memories of being pulled up off the living room floor and thrown into his tub flashed behind his heavy eyelids. Price, Johnny and Gaz showed up. Ghost reeked of alcohol and piss. They had him hauling bags of sand back and forth from his backyard to the range on his property for several hours, making him sweat and puke the remains of alcohol in his system.

“I’m still sober.” Ghost gritted his teeth. He made Ghost sound like an addict.

Price clipped his words, “See your doctor, and get out of bed for a sweat.”

Ghost opened his eyes to the void of his darkened room and sighed. “I’ll set up an appointment today.”

“Good lad.” Beep-beep-beep went the line as Price disconnected the call.

Sleep had eluded Ghost once more. He sat there at the edge of his bed and rolled his neck, failing to relax the knotted muscles at the base of his neck. His eyes burned, and his headache pressed down on every surface of his skull. He felt an irritation for Price waking him up, but rationality told him it wasn’t his fault.

Since sleep was out of the question, Ghost stood up and peered out the bedroom window. The sun wasn’t due to come up for another couple of hours, but he insisted to listen to Price’s advice. Get a workout in, then when the office opened, call doc to get that appointment.

His feet were heavy as he shuffled to the bathroom. Ghost always looked down to the basin of the sink before turning on the lights, avoiding the reflection staring back at him. He watched as his hands gripped the edge of the counter. Scars littered his knuckles, the skin over bone splitting open too many times for him to count.

It was when he was sick of looking at the reminders of his violence when he slipped and the person he hated stared back with cold, dead eyes.

You’ve tried killing me so many times, but fail every single time. You need me. You need the mask. You need it to hide so there’s never a chance to hurt again. You don’t deserve her. You try and pretend to be someone worthy of a teaspoon of affection, but you’re not what she needs. You’re filthy. You’re-

The glass shattered against his fist as he struck as quick as an asp. He hissed between clenched teeth, cursing as the reached for a towel and covered his bleeding knuckles.

If one thing was for certain, his reflection was right.

He didn’t deserve her.

-----

Andra flipped closed the back end of the book and placed it on her blanket covered lap to rub her tired eyes. Every night she would read The Operators when it was evident she wouldn’t be getting peaceful rest, or when something had her jolting awake. She had no clue how many hours she had slept in the past couple of days; definitely not enough to keep her from loading up on caffeine and making her debate breaking her years of being nicotine-free.

She could hear the roosting of her birds out in the coop. Andra leaned her head back against the headboard and sighed. There wouldn’t be time to try and fall asleep. Her day had to start.

After the morning chores, Andra headed inside for another cup of coffee. She stared out of her newly replaced window, out into the distance. It was hard not to; it was as if something – or someone – was going to come storming out from the brush and trees. All remained quiescent in those groves, as logic would have it.

The rattling sound of her plastic phone case vibrating against the countertop broke her focus. She swiped her finger across the screen and pressed the speaker button. “What’s up, Johnny?”

“I need to ask a favor.”

His voice was hushed and the words were muddled like he had the phone pressed against his mouth, and she could hear the workings of the auto shop in the background.

“I need you to go check on Ghost for me, he called out of work this morning.”

Andra felt her chest and throat tighten all at the same time. Johnny wasn’t aware of the fallout between her and Ghost from the sound of it. Or if he did, he must be extremely concerned for Ghost’s silence. I figured he would be used to it by now… she thought bitterly. “You need me to go immediately?”

“Take yer time, a mate of ours reached him this mornin’. Just pop over there when you get a chance. Gotta go, text me.”

The line went dead before Andra could say bye. She released a heavy sigh after taking her first sip, her fingers tapped against the countertop as apprehension churned in her gut.

Maybe Ghost took their last conversation as motivation for him to actually leave.

Tears pricked in the corner of her eyes, and she rubbed them away with her thumb and index finger, pushing her fingers together to pinch the bridge of her nose. She didn’t want their relationship – friendship – whatever they had, to end on that note. Fuck, I messed up.

She took a deep breath to regain composure. You don’t know if he’s gone. Andra decided she would go by after her run to the post office to pick up her package. With a quick rinse of her empty coffee mug, she headed to the front door to collect her keys and purse.

The sound of gravel crunching and a vehicle engine made her pause in her tracks. Her heart raced, she could feel her adrenaline dump. Her shaky hand moved aside the curtain to look out the window beside the door, and the sight of Ghost’s truck had her releasing a heavy breath.

It took everything in her not to throw the door open and run to him. She took another grounding breath and unlocked the door, opening it to Ghost preparing to knock.

Andra swore her heart was going to burst. The look in his eyes mirrored the same surprise she displayed. The discernible presence of a bandage wrapped around Ghost’s hand caught her attention in the corner of her eye.

He noticed where her eyes fell to, and shoved it in the pocket of his jacket. “You got a minute to speak?”

His voice sounded like sandpaper. He looked just as sleep deprived as she felt. Andra couldn’t say anything, so she just nodded. She closed the door behind her and opted to sit on the wooden bench, leaving a space for Ghost to sit beside her. He never did, instead he decided to lean against the railing, his ankle crossed over the other.

Seconds passed before anything was said. “I’m not good with words, you’ll have to bear with me.”

Andra folded her legs beneath her and clasped her hands together. Her eyes remained on him as she waited to hear him out.

His head tilted down. “I gave a lot of thought to what you said, about losing your trust.” He rolled his neck, rolling the nerves and giving him a chance to think. “And I realized, taking a bullet is far less painful than that.”

Andra could see his adam’s apple bob in his throat underneath the fabric of his mask as he tilted his head back with closed eyes. She felt her throat tightening, and had to swallow to relieve the ache.

“So, I’ve come to terms with if I want to mend what I had with you, I’m going to have to find a way to tell you what you need to know.” Ghost’s eyes found hers, searching for a response.

She gave him a subtle nod, letting the words sink in. “How are you going to do that?”

Ghost uncrossed his ankles and took the two steps to sit beside her. It was a struggling few seconds for him to begin speaking. “Did you ever pick that book back up?”

Andra was confused by the approach he was taking, but went with it. “Yeah, I finished it actually.”

"Did the author talk about some of his assignments?" Ghost asked patiently.

She recalled what the author was able to talk about and reveal. "Not specifics, but he went in detail with Selection, and then the training thereafter and some events that happened in the 80s in Northern Ireland."

He nodded as he listened. "What did the training entail?"

"Physical training, a lot of sleep deprivation, weapons and vehicle tactics, photography, interrogation..." Andra's words drifted as she continued her recollection. She wouldn't say this out loud, but it was a dry read.

Ghost cut in at the mention of the last topic. "Interrogation, okay." His shoulders rose and fell as he let out a deep breath, and his hands flexed over and over. "I've been on both ends of being interrogated. Not just in training, but out on the field." His red-rimmed eyes aged several decades, and her chest grew heavy. "And there were times the bars and stars – officers that outranked me and my team – had ordered us to let go of the person we had just roughed up.

"They were dangerous people, Andra, do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Andra was piecing together why Ghost had given her that book to read. It was more than just what was on the surface. The selection process, the training, the assignments, the images in the book illustrating the teams with black lines redacting their eyes. It occurred to her then when she was reading it all, Ghost was another one of the SAS operatives that had an alias, he had paperwork with his name on it that contained redacted information on what he and his team had accomplished, but now discussing it all solidified it for her.

Not only him, but Johnny as well, and Johnny had brought up a few other names. People that were also special forces.

It was sobering. She never took the time to sit with all of this information and come to terms that these men had enemies that went deeper than just being from differing nations. Enemies that may or may not still be alive out there, preying on the downfall of the men she had come to know.

“Has anyone ever found you or Johnny?” Andra asked with a tremble in her throat.

“No.” He answered definitively. “And I would like to keep it that way.”

Andra nodded, as she fully agreed with him.

Ghost leaned back against the bench. “I truly never intended to alarm you and bring you to endless conclusions. I wish I could take it back, my foolishness, everything.”

“You can’t help that, though.” Andra defended. “It was a really messed up chain of events.”

There was a pregnant pause. “I have moments like these when there are too many coincidences happening at once. I’ve been working on how I handle it.”

Andra turned to him. “Do you… talk to someone about it?” She felt hesitant to ask.

Ghost’s eyes slid back to her. “Does that bother you?”

She shook her head swiftly. “No, oh Gods, no I didn’t mean it that way.” Her hands covered her face for a moment. “That was wrong of me to ask.”

Ghost reached for one of her hands. “You have every right to know, doll.” The calloused pad of his thumb brushed the top of her hand. She could feel a tremor in his touch.

It would have warmed her heart had it not been for the churning contrite souring her stomach. He had every right to know, too, but how would she even begin to tell him?

His injured hand was holding hers. She took this opportunity to distract herself from the guilt eating at her. “What happened to your hand?”

“Ridiculous accident with some glass.” He answered too quickly. Andra could feel him wanting to recoil, but he continued to let her hold his hand. Her peripheral vision gave her a peak of Ghost studying her face. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look exhausted.”

Andra let go of his hand and rubbed her eyes. “I really haven’t been sleeping. Every little noise wakes me up, and I lay there for hours.”

Ghost’s eyes turned serious. “What can I do to remedy that?” Andra started to shake her head. “No, I’m responsible for this. Name it, I’ll do what I can.”

“I was actually on my way to go pick up a security system I ordered from the post office.” Andra raised her hand with her set of keys jingling.

Ghost stood from the bench, Andra followed in suit. “That I can do.”

Her smile returned. If it was one thing Andra was certain about Ghost, acts of service was how he communicated his apologies. It was easier to demonstrate with his hands than words.

After picking up the hefty box of camera and motion sensor equipment, Andra worked around the farm after her and Ghost discussed where the best places to set up the cameras would be. He got it done in less than a few hours, giving them time to pick up food together.

As they traveled, she remembered Johnny was waiting for an update from her.

Ghost is fine, we’re picking up food.

“So, you read the book in the past three days?” Ghost asked to start up chatter. Look who’s talking more now.

She hummed. “I read when I can’t sleep, and found it sitting there on the table before I locked up for bed.” Andra glanced at him. “What do you do when you can’t sleep?” Her phone vibrated with a response.

Thank you.

Ghost shrugged. “I lay there hoping I fall asleep.”

“I would get so bored.” Andra confessed, tapping her hands on her thighs. “You don’t even scroll through Netflix or something to try and turn your brain off?”

“I don’t have Netflix.” He responded.

Andra shook her head and blinked. “Remind me to give you my login.”

“I don’t watch TV or movies.”

Now she was looking at him like he was crazy. “You’re lying. You’re a liar.”

He rolled his eyes. “I do watch movies, but they’re all old war movies or westerns on DVD.”

Andra narrowed her eyes. “What are you, fifty?”

Ghost chortled. “I have a while before I hit fifty, thank you for that.”

“How long is a while?” Andra smirked. “Five years or six months?” His mouth opened, but she kept going. “Wait, I bet you have M.A.S.H. all on DVD, don’t you?”

“There’s nothing wrong with M.A.S.H.” Ghost defended.

“Yeah, when you’re as old as my dad and watching it on your days off as you doze on the living room couch at eleven in the morning.”

“You’re pushing your luck, doll.” Ghost warned with a grin in his voice. “Let me put it this way, I joined the Royal Air Force after the events of 9/11.”

Andra’s face went slack and her eyes were as wide as saucers. She turned to the passenger window with a hand pretending to scratch the side of her head and wondered if he would be weirded out if she told him she was in grade school during 9/11.

Her silence was loud in the cabin. “We’re not that far apart in age if you know M.A.S.H.” Ghost resumed.

Andra raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you saying I look old?”

“No.” His accent thickened as his voice dropped. “I didn’t say that.”

She was having too much fun busting his chops. “We have a tad bit of an age gap,” she demonstrated with her thumb and index finger with a small gap, “I’m a ninety’s baby.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Three years is a tad of an age gap, not a whole decade.”

Andra rolled her eyes. “Is this what I have to look forward to in my thirties?” She laughed at the flash of astonishment as he panned a look at her. “I’m kidding! Well, kind of, but I’ll be thirty next summer.”

Ghost smoothed his hand over his covered mouth. “You’re killing me, woman.”

“Best stay on top of those heart meds then – ooh!” Andra shot forward and was caught by her seatbelt from Ghost slamming the breaks harder than normal. “You’re gonna cause an accident, sir.”

After a few beats of silence, Ghost changed the subject. “I hope the camera system will give you some peace of mind.”

“I’m sure it will.” She nodded with a hopeful smile.

Ghost ran inside the chip shop they ordered from while Andra sat in the truck to keep it running. Her head tilted back onto the head rest as she stared up at the roof of the truck. The lack of sleep was catching up to her, and now that there was less of a problem with surveillance around the farm, she felt the muscles in her shoulders relaxing.

The sudden sound of the driver door opening had her jerking back awake. She attempted to cover up the fact that she had dozed off in his truck with a little stretch of her legs.

Ghost handed her the bag of food without noticing her brief second of sleep and drove back to her house.

-----

“I get why you go to this place.” Andra spoke in between eating in the living room with him. “It’s not bad.”

“It’s also because Johnny has been getting us discounts from his little girlfriend.” Ghost wiped his mouth with a crumpled napkin.

Andra looked over the app on her phone that connected her to all of the cameras on her property. The feed looked really good, giving her confidence that she could point out important details if she ever had to. She switched to the camera that aimed at the dirt driveway with both trucks sitting outside. Her thumb and index finger spread across the screen to utilize the zoom feature; she was able to read off the license plate numbers from each truck.

“Thank you again for setting up the cameras.” Andra locked her phone and placed it down on the coffee table.

Ghost covered the lower half of his face back up with the balaclava as he finished his own meal. “Thank you for letting me.”

Her heart fluttered at the sudden drop in his voice. His eyes were set on her when she turned to look at him. Despite not being able to see his expression, she could feel a softness in his brown eyes.

“Let me get these out of the way.” Ghost insisted as he began to collect the takeout containers. Andra sucked down the last of her drink in her Styrofoam cup and tossed it into the bag Ghost was using.

Andra slipped a hand in the back pocket of her jeans. “You staying for a little while?”

“I can.”

She felt some relief for having to spend less time by herself for the evening.

While Ghost did his thing, Andra browsed her bookshelf in search of a new read.

“Anything interesting?” Ghost asked as he returned.

Andra chose Dune from the shelf. “Maybe.” She returned to her designated reading lounge chair and curled her legs up. “How far did you get with The Outsiders?”

Ghost scratched the back of his head. “Maybe the first fifty pages.” Then, he tilted his head. “How did you know I had it?”

Andra smirked. “It was gone the following morning after you left.”

Did she have him flustered? The indecisive glance to the couch and back to the front door then back to the kitchen was amusing enough to have her grinning.

“I have it in the truck, actually. Be right back.” Ghost made his way outside, letting in a kissing, chilly breeze.

It must have been the book she chose, or the way she receded back into the cushions, but she felt the wave of sleepiness return back. Or maybe it was Ghost’s presence, knowing he was only a few feet away on the couch with Sammy next to him. He emitted an aura that Andra could only classify as comfort. Safety.

She knew he was safe to fall asleep around, she knew he would keep her safe.

Andra flinched out of the sleep she was slipping into and let out a disappointed sigh. Her book was still in her hand, but the pages were damp from the warmth of her fingers holding them in place. She closed the book, not worried about where she left off because she wasn’t paying attention anyway and softened her movements as she looked to her right.

Ghost’s head lulled to one side from the upright position he fell asleep in, his arms crossed over his chest and his own book sitting on the table with Sammy resting in her own bed by the window. The heavy breath he suck in and released told her he was deeper in that sleep than she was.

How is he sleeping with the mask on? Andra wondered.

With light movement, Andra rose from her chair and padded quietly to the hallway closet to retrieve a blanket. He looked as tired as she felt halfway through the day, and she wasn’t about to wake him up and send him home. She unraveled the blanket and moved to lay it over Ghost just above his arms and below his collarbone.

But his awareness was more keen than Andra had anticipated. Ghost reached out, throwing the blanket off and swiped her wrists single-handed. The room went spinning, and she let out a small yelp as her back met the bottom cushions of the couch, his grasp securing her wrists above her head.

Ghost’s eyes were wild with alert, then widened as he realized who he just wrestled down. It startled her at first, but out of nervousness a chortle escaped. Then a chuckle, and confusion wrinkled Ghost’s eyebrows.

She probably looked insane to him. She was supposed to be frightened, but all she was was dizzy. And too aware of how his body hovered over her. The grip on her wrists eased up but remained there. Her giggles dissipated, along with whatever she was about to say. She was too absorbed by Ghost’s eyes darting all over her face, and she wasn’t too sure, but she was almost certain he kept looking to her mouth.

Before Andra could register what she was doing, she pressed her lips against the teeth of the skull pattern on his mask, hitting her mark as she felt his lips beneath. Ghost pulled away like she had put his hand in an open flame, his eyes widened. Oh shit, what have I done –

His empty hand shoved up the fabric of his balaclava and he smashed his mouth against hers. Heat blazed through her face, molten liquid flooding her core as she took in every sensation overwhelming her. The fierce hunger of his kiss. The friction of their bodies pressed against each other. The solid grip Ghost had on her wrists.

She couldn’t get close enough to him. Her leg attempted to hook around his waist, but only succeeded in wrapping around a thigh that nestled its way between her legs.

He couldn’t pull himself away, and instead fed the part telling him to nudge his knee where she wanted it. Ghost freed her hands to grip the thigh pulling him in, giving her free reign to cradle his stubbled jaw. His fingertips worked divots into the fabric of her jeans, earning a small sound from her tightening throat.  

Andra hoped there would be marks later left where he was squeezing.

Her tongue slipped out between her lips and playfully swiped across his mouth. Oh fuck, the sound that just came from him… Andra had never heard arousal so delicious before.

All of Ghost was crashing through her like a freight train. His taste, his heat, his sounds. Her head felt like it’s been shoved underwater, and she has no intentions surfacing for air. Not when drowning in all of him felt this good.

Ghost reciprocated her invitation and found his tongue pushing through the slit of her lips. She felt her own arousal winding tightly in her warmth. Anything more was likely going to set her off. There’s no way I’m coming just from this, she cursed herself.

Ghost pulled away, hit hot breath fanning over her face. He moved his free hand to his mask, but it remained there. One second, two seconds. His mouth slackened into a frown, lips parted with labored breathing. The trance had been broken between the two. He retreated from where he had Andra pressed into the couch, his hands ran down his face and stayed there as he battled with himself.

Andra adjusted her shirt as she sat up and gave him a nudge of space. “Hey,” she softly said as she brought his hands down, cradling them in her own. “You don’t need to.”

“I want to.” He rasped, breathless from their kiss. “I don’t know why, but I can’t.”

“It’s okay.” She took his hand away from his face and stroked his knuckles with her thumb.

Ghost blinked a few times like he was waking up from a dream. “I shoved my tongue in your mouth.” He stated, a little too forward. His words had heat rushing to her face. “The least I can do I show you who is beneath this.” He gestured to the mask covering half of his face, a bitterness in his words directed to his disguise.

Andra slowly raised her hands to the bottom half of his revealed face. He flinched away from the contact, but settled as she let her thumbs brush against the stubble on his jaw. She made no subtle movements; just exploring the craters and slits across his skin.

Ghost watched her silently, attentively, his eyes flickering back and forth. She can feel the intensity, a man questioning the intentions of the woman touching him, holding the privacy and secrecy he clings to. He sucked in a breath as she took hold of the balaclava and didn’t exhale until Andra had pulled it back down over his face.

“If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready.” She affirmed.

 His bandaged hand brushed Andra’s disheveled hair behind her ear. Ghost leaned in and pressed his covered mouth against her forehead. Andra gave him a meek grin as he pulled away.

Andra felt this moment building up to a goodbye, but she took his hand again. “You can stay here for the night. I don’t want you driving back even if it’s just down the street.”

He reached down on the floor and picked up the blanket. “If that’s alright with you, I’ll take up the couch-”

“Sleep on a bed, for gods’ sake.” Andra nodded her head to the stairs. “I have an extra room upstairs.”

Thankfully, Ghost didn’t argue. Heavy feet dragged themselves up the stairs, Sammy following them both. They took pause as both turned to each other from across the hall. There was so much she wanted to say, but the brief, drowsy goodnight that was exchanged had them retreating into their respective rooms. Andra leaned against the closed door, clouds in her head and lips swollen with the phantom sensation of their catalyst.

:)

I've started up a taglist! comment if you want to get tagged for this story 🖤 likes & reblogs are wholeheartedly appreciated, your engagement helps new readers find me ✨

[joesheistyy]

Bad Day

I’ve had a shit day so I’m writing about it 🫠

——

Nothing could seem to go right today. One thing after another did not go to plan, made a mess, or overall was just shit. You never liked to bring your work life home, but sometimes you just had to let your frustration out.

After getting to work at 8am, you spilled coffee down your cream colored crew neck, not noticing it until hours later. You got scuffs on your new bag, very visible ones at that. Your head hurt, you forgot your lunch and didn’t have time to go get anything…the list goes on and on.

Getting in the car upon work ending, you checked the time to see the clock reading 6:37. An hour and 37 minutes later than you should have been working. A groan escaped your mouth as you hit your head into the headrest of your drivers seat. All you wanted to do was disappear for a few days.

Driving home consisted of stupid traffic and people who didn’t know how to drive. Many close calls when it came to safety. Your usual 15 minute drive became 30 which put you home at a time when you would much rather be already relaxing.

You pulled into the driveway, hitting the garage door sensor to send it open. The battery on your sensor was dead, imagine that. You put your car in park in the driveway, deciding to not even park it in the garage.

You grabbed all your work belongings and headed for the front door. You then realized your keys were buried in your bag, the one with new scuffs on it. Ringing the doorbell was the easiest option, hoping Joe wasn’t busy so he could open the door.

About a minute after standing there, you caved and set your belongings down, deciding to dig for your keys. No Joe in sight.

You opened the door and propped it open so you could drag all your belongings inside. Everything was dropped in the entryway. Shoes flung off, purse on the floor, keys out of sight again.

Stomach growling, you headed to the kitchen to find even the littlest thing to satisfy your longing hunger. You grabbed an orange and peeled it over the sink, letting the peels to sit there to toss later.

As you continued to munch on your orange, footsteps approached from the stairs. Here comes Joe in his good-day having mood. You were not up for any of it.

“Hi honey, how was your day?” He asked cheerfully, just happy to see his girl.

“Shit. I don’t think I’ve ever had a worse day,” you complained.

“What happened?” He asked.

“You don’t even want to know. One thing after another made my day go to shit and far from any sort of recovery,” you stated, heading for the stairs so you could go change.

Joe stayed downstairs and turned on your favorite TV show. Unfortunately, you weren’t in the mood to watch TV.

After putting on comfortable clothes, you went back to the kitchen to make dinner. A simple air fryer meal was calling your name. Mini corn dogs and french fries.

Joe was waiting for your arrival into the living room as you made your dinner. Once everything was cooking, you poured yourself a rather large and questionable amount of wine. When the food finished, you put it on a plastic plate and headed for the living room.

You plopped down onto the armchair, not sitting close to Joe like you normally did. He gave you a glance, but you were focused on your food.

“Baby, talk to me. I know it makes you feel better,” he pried as you kept eating silently.

“Joe, I really don’t wanna talk about it,” you said as you put another mini corn dog into your mouth.

“Come on babe, please?” He begged like a kid in a candy store.

“Joe I said no. I don’t want to think about it, let alone re-live it,” you said sternly as you got up to head for the kitchen. Joe got up and followed.

You put your plate into the sink and turned on the faucet to give it a pre-dishwasher rinse. Joe approached you while you were at the sink. His arms snaked around your waist and that irritated you, you wanted space to breathe after such a bad day.

“Joe get off,” you tried to push his arms off.

“No,” he replied as he buried his head into your neck.

“I said, get off,” you shoved at his arms. He pulled back with a look of astonishment on his face. You never acted like this when you had a bad day. You usually wanted to be comforted, but not today.

Joe didn’t fight back, he only walked off sadly to go back to sitting on the couch. You headed up to the bedroom quietly in hopes that you could get a little alone time.

When you made it up to your shared bedroom, you headed to take off your makeup and lay down. The warm cloth used to take off your makeup cleansed your skin of the day’s stress, and you took a deep breath.

The day finally caught up with you after you got comfortable in bed. Your bedside lamp was on while you laid on your phone trying to watch TikTok. As time passed, you felt a teardrop come out the corner of your eye. You were laying on your side which sent the warm, salty drop to splash on your pillowcase. Once one fell, a few more followed. You didn’t have one specific reason to cry, but the events of the day had kept stacking up.

You continued to watch TikTok through your clouded eyes, but then you heard Joe come into the room. You quickly wiped away your tears, not wanting him to know you were crying.

He took his shirt off and came over to the bed to lay down. You were turned and facing him, and when he saw your face, he could tell you had been crying.

After climbing in bed, he gently took your phone out of your hands and turned it off, then pulled you into his side. You let out a little sniffle as you morphed yourself into your little Joe nest. You had one specific way you would lay with Joe when you were going through anything.

His hand reached down to brush at your scalp and move your hair away from your forehead. He looked down at you with a slight frown, hating when you would cry.

“I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day baby, can I do anything to help?” He asked in a gentle voice.

“Not necessarily. Just don’t leave my side,” you let out a soft giggle followed by a sniffle.

"I won't baby, and we'll make sure tomorrow is a better day for you," he leaned down to kiss the top of your head, resting his chin there afterwards.

You fell asleep on his chest and let the shit day turn to beautiful sleep.

----

I started writing this like two weeks ago and its also not good so im sorry y'all haha

[whumped-by-glitter]

I saw this post about crazy museum stories, and I see lots of retail stories, but I don’t see a lot of airport stories….

So here are some of my craziest stories from working at an airport.

Airport behind the scenes:

• The random passenger who told me to get off the carousel (I was fixing it) then absolutely couldn’t believe I was a female and a mechanic. Then he proceeded to insinuate my military rank before getting out meant I messed up (AF just ranks slower, we had a bit of a bottleneck problem when I was in). He then suggested my supervisor didn’t know how to do his job well and could “just take us all under his wing”. All of this before asking for a job…..

• The passenger who insisted I check him in for his flight that left 2 hrs ago, when I was fixing the ticket counter conveyor belt, all the lights were off and I was literally black up to my elbows in grease….

• The woman who rode up and down the glass elevator in ticketing, lifting her skirt repeatedly, until the sheriffs had to come get her. Bonus points: it was only around noon, and no she wasn’t flying anywhere.

• The woman who got demanded she get on a plane at 11 pm, when flights are no longer going out, with no ID or money, to a city that was literally a 45 min drive away, with no airport. She proceeded to stop pick up traffic with an airport use wheelchair.

• A man who went through an armed door to the ramp, took all of his clothes of and sat there (that one made news).

• A woman who decided to take off all of her clothes and run around the main part of the airport. A sheriff and 2 cleaners had to catch her, she ran through the parking structure at 1am, in January in the northern Midwest.

• The absolutely insane contract manager that almost got sued by Southwest Airlines for wearing disguises and hiding to catch their ticket counter agents putting begs on the belt wrong (they weren’t, also wearing 2 hats and a fake mustache is not inconspicuous sir) that was the talk of the airport for quite a while…

• The gate agent that somehow messed up the jetbridge so bad I had to take every single limit sensor apart so I could override it. When he called it in all I was told was “the wheel locked up and I kept moving it, and I made an ooopsies.”

• The coworker that would insist on wanting to empty the lavs (which is easier than loading bags) but would mess it up at least once every other week and spill on himself, then just look horrified but not move….

• A woman rode an unattended baggage belt, luckily she was read as an oversize bag and sent directly to TSA, she literally could have been killed. She scared the daylights out of some TSA agents though. Could you imagine- you expect a golf club bag or something and get a person popping out?

• The lady who was really scared to fly, got really drunk, and fell down an up escalator. It was Christmas and luckily the gate agents were able to book her on a new flight the next day for free. But when asked if she had someone to pick her up, she called her husband, in Texas… (this is an airport near Chicago) she literally didn’t even know what airport she was at. A sheriff took her to a hotel to let her sleep it off, and to my knowledge she made it out safe the next morning.

I found a cat stuck in a wall, well actually she climbed through the wall and became trapped in a plumbing closet. She is really lucky some Southwest agents heard her crying and called us (they figured since we worked on conveyors and had tons of tools, we might be able to help. We called airport ops to open the closet door, and there she was. I still have her to this day, her name is Delta, and she is a very weird cat, I blame it on the fumes 🤣

All of this and more, and I work at a relatively small airport, and I was only there 5 years, and primarily worked 3rd shift as a mechanic.

@karmaisntab

[usafphantom2]

The XB-70 Valkyrie had an extremely large airframe; the YF-12 was not small, being 107 feet long. But if you compared the two, the Blackbird looked small.

The Mach 3 rivalry between the YF-12 and the XB-70.

North American Rockwell made the first Mach 3 bomber (Although the six-engine Valkyrie could only dash to Mach 3 due to aero heating and not cruising at that speed).

Their public relations firm was advertising every place they could about how their airplane could fly higher and faster than anyone could before.

On the other side of Edwards Air Force Base (AFB), the YF-12 Blackbird kept its secrets near and dear. The YF-12 was a variant of the A-12 with a backseat for the missile launch controller

The YF-12s took the seventh through ninth slots on the A-12 assembly line; these were designated as YF-12A high-altitude Mach 3 interceptors.

The main changes involved modifying the A-12’s nose by cutting back the chines to accommodate the vast Hughes AN/ASG-18 fire-control radar initially developed for the XF-108 with two infrared search and track sensors embedded in the chine leading edge and the addition of the second cockpit for a crew member to operate the fire control radar for the air-to-air missile system. This airframe could easily fly Mach 3.

As told by Donn A. Byrnes and Kenneth D. Hurley in their book Blackbird Rising: Birth of an Aviation Legend, they were both being tested at Edwards AFB at the same time, so naturally, they hung out at the same bar after work. One of the local watering holes was called Hernandez Hideaway.

YF-12 test pilots often flew at Mach 3 more often than the XB-70 would do in a lifetime.

Jim Eastham had just enough of the bragging he heard daily about the XB-70. Eastham was a Lockheed test pilot who had already flown the A-12 and was now flying the YF-12.

One evening at the bar, Al White of the XB-70 program was raving about his high Mach numbers when Eastham couldn’t stand it any longer. He turned to White and said, “Al, we do more Mach 3 time in a single YF-12 mission than you guys have flown in your entire program.” 😆

Al looked at Jim, and without missing a beat, he said, “Yes that’s true, Jim, but we lose pieces that are bigger than what you fly!!😳

The XB 70 is a fascinating-looking airplane. I never tire of looking at pictures of it. When I went to the Air Force Museum, I was able to see both of them parked near each other inside the museum. It is so worth the trip to Dayton, Ohio, to see, the only remaining XB- 70 and the only remaining YF- 12. In another building, you can see the SR 71 it was parked near the B 58 and the B 47. I was so excited. I had to call my Dad and talk to him about the three airplanes that he flew.

Written by Linda Sheffield

Art by Peter Chilelli

@Habubrats71 via X

[stars-over-new-jersey]

Upgrades

KITT disapproves of modern cars. Especially when Michael is showing too much interest in one. AO3 link

Michael strolled out of the restaurant, pausing to take in the clean lines of the sleek metallic gray Corvette parked next to KITT before turning back to his longtime partner.

KITT's door refused to open.

"C'mon buddy," Michael said.

KITT remained silent, dashboard and door sensor dark.

Michael rested his arms on KITT's roof and looked down into the window. "Buddy, we're kind of out in public here. People are going to think I'm crazy."

No response came from the black Trans Am.

Michael sighed and walked around the front of his car. The scanner in KITT's nose quickly stopped its back-and-forth sweep and shut off as soon as Michael came round the front of his partner, but not fast enough to escape Michael's notice.

"Ha!" Michael said. "Knew you were playing possum. Now open the door, please. I've already had to deal with the board of trustees tonight."

KITT's scanner and dashboard lit back up, but his door remained locked when Michael tried it again.

"Will you at least tell me what's wrong?" Michael asked in exasperation.

"I saw you looking," KITT replied. "You want to replace me." Michael sighed and looked up at the sky, where a crescent moon hung blurred in the eternal Los Angeles smog.

"KITT, I'm not going to replace you," he replied.

"Why else were you looking at that…. that thing," KITT replied peevishly. "It's not like I have anything to offer you anymore. "

"What?" Michael nearly shouted. "KITT, how can you say that?"

"Its communication systems are just as good as mine, it responds to voice commands, and even its dashboard looks like mine," KITT groused. "I know I'm outdated. I can tell when I'm going to be replaced."

"KITT, first, I am not abandoning you for scrap in a restaurant parking lot," Michael said sternly. "Second, there aren't many ways to mount a screen in a car dashboard that look half-decent, so of course it looks a bit like your dashboard. Now, will you let me in, or do I need to call RC to bring the mobile unit out with the winch?"

A long beat of silence ensued, but KITT's door popped open.

Michael slid into the driver's seat, his knee joints popping loudly as he tucked himself into KITT's low-slung cabin.

"And here you thought I'd trade you for a car that's even lower to the ground," Michael quipped. "At my age I'd never get back out of that thing."

"Michael, please don't joke about replacing me," KITT said.

"KITT, how long have we been working together?" Michael asked, yanking his tie free and tucking it in the glove compartment.

"Forty-one years, five months, and three days," KITT replied.

"Did I replace you when the tech crew created Domino?" Michael asked.

"No."

"Did I replace you when the lab teams created the nanobots for the Knight Industries Three Thousand?"

"No."

"So what makes you think, after forty years and I don't even remember how many upgrades, that I would replace you with a production-line Corvette?"

"You once told me that humans like new things. Fashionable things," KITT said. "I know the new Corvettes are considered fashionable, and you were looking."

Michael sighed, staring at the LED equalizer bars of KITT's voicebox that had remained unchanged at KITT's own request through hundreds of dashboard updates, and racked his memory for a long moment.

"I guess I did say that," Michael said. "KITT, fashion has cycles. Things come in and out of fashion. Anything that stays around long enough becomes fashionable again."

"So you're settling for me," KITT said sulkily. "It's not like you need my turbo boost or oil slick since you took over the directorship and stopped going out on missions. You don't need me anymore."

"There he is," a voice said. "We didn't miss the meeting after all." A bullet bounced off KITT's windshield and shattered the driver-side window of the Corvette.

"KITT!" Michael shouted. "What's going on?"

"It appears someone was preparing an ambush for the Knight Foundation board," KITT replied. "They arrived late."

"And you didn't warn me," Michael said, glaring at KITT's dashboard. All three screens were now lit up and displaying information on the status of KITT's systems and the holographic heads-up display was tracking the gunmen. "KITT, you were supposed to be in surveillance mode."

KITT remained silent.

"KITT," Michael ground out his partner's name through clenched teeth. "KITT if this isn't evidence that I still need you, I don't know what is."

"Finally," KITT said. The holographic countdown appeared in the heads-up display, and KITT's turbine fired up.

Michael grinned as he backed out of the parking space and aimed KITT at the exit of the parking lot.

"Let's see how far they'll chase us," Michael said. "I want to see if we can get them all the way to the police station."

[nightwing-bootylicious]

Batfam as shit my mother and I say on this roadtrip, Pt. 3

Babs: you know you don't need to buy Cass something at every single gift shop, right?

Steph: But I love her!!

-

Bruce: the screen is frozen... why is the screen frozen?

Clark: have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?

Bruce: I'm not a child, Clark, I can figure out how to use my own damn phone.

Clark: it worked, though didn't it? Didn't it??

Bruce: ...............yes.

-

Dick: *is the one to constantly remind everyone to use the bathroom every time they stop so they don't have to add extra stops*

Tim: *is the one who thinks he's fine and five minutes later realizes he has to use the bathroom*

-

Steph: why did none of my Polaroids of the zoo turn out good? They all look like they're undeveloped....

Steph: OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO TAKE IT OFF INDOOR MODE

-

Dick: are we in the smoky mountains? I'm pretty sure we're in the smoky mountains.

Babs: I don't know let me Google it...

Babs: dude. That's on the complete other side of the state.

-

Bernard: quick!!! That sign says Deez Butts!!! Take a picture, quick!!

Tim: Damnit! The finger sensor didn't work fast enough, I missed it.

Bernard: fucking hell. This is bullishit. I wanted a Deez Butts picture!

-

Steph: argh... I know I set out clothes for tomorrow, where are they?

Babs: here, clean off the bed and dump everything out of your bag, and you'll find them.

Steph: ok....

Steph:

Steph: they're not in here! How could they possibly have disappeared, I never left the room last night so there's no possible way they're not in this room somewhere, Jesus Christ, I'm going to have upend everything in this room until-

Steph: oh.

Steph: they were on the bench. Under my bag. The whole FUCKING TIME-

-

Damian: *laughs maniacally at the touch tank in the aquarium*

-

Bruce: I wonder where the Kentucky derby actually takes place...

Jason: Tennessee.

-

Dick: I could buy literally everything in this gift shop.

Duke: Bruce gave me a credit card before we left, so we probably could.

Dick: seriously, don't tempt me.

-

Jason: is that a bull, or just a cow with markings on the side of its head?

Duke: do I look like a cow expert to you?

-

Tim: *films a video of a statue, slowly zooming in on its butt*

-

Dick: I have to look at everything in the store twice, just to make sure I didn't miss anything.

-

Cass: *is writing down the days events in her journal*

Jason: *is falling asleep listening to a bootleg South Park soundtrack playlist on shuffle*

-

Dick: I don't care if it's shitty and plastic, I'm not leaving Nashville without a cowboy hat.

Part two Part Four

[nananamunsons]

Bills to pay.

Summary: When you carry with the pain that actions you always knew they were wrong left inside of you.

pairing: Eddie Munson & Fem!reader.

words: 5783 ;(^__^)

CW: Mentions of smoking, Mechanic!Eddie, mentions of depression, anxiety, doubting yourself, teenagep pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy, young single mother mentions, reader is (very) forgiving, crying.

Notes: I was really wondering if i should start posting the things i write to myself and one singular friend lolol, so this is really just a test on how to post in tumblr ahaha

Chapter 1: Unattended and untouched.

Eddie covers with one hand the cigarrete that was sustained on his lips, hoping the winter cold will allow him to turn it on.

It was normal for him to wait outside the cafè for his black coffee on his breaks, the workers there already assumed he was gonna be a regular to do that behavior so he will stay on the door after ordering until a sweet girl hands him the cup from inside the shop.

Winters made him depressed, he was totally honest with himself about it as well, the white skies, white floors, cold air and humidity on his hair, it was too much for him to handle, for him to be okay with. Winters also felt nostalgic, in a way that left his walking back at work such a bother, leaving him alone with his loud thoughts.

throwing half done bud to the snow, he was welcomed back by the warmth of the repair shop, listening to the commercial music that his boss made him play for the clients in the waiting room.

“Munson, you’re back so soon?” a coworker of him asks behind him as Eddie takes off his jacket. “It is hell outside right?”

“I don’t get how we still get clients, man.” he chuckles, grabbing his cup again to finally take a sip. “What do we have today?”

“We are almost done for the day really, just the old truck again… The old man refuses to let it go but it just means more money for us, right?”

Eddie shook his head, he hated how much the company robbed that man but again, he was stubborn as hell so there was not much to convince him about. “What is it this time?”

the coworker puts his hands on his hips “I’m not even sure at this point, dude… Could be all at once if you ask me.”

“I’ll handle it… What about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow… Elise, did we get any calls for tomorrow?”

the two guys turn to see the receptionist on Eddie’s left, a small blonde who in Eddie’s head she just ‘was too much, another tammy thompson on his life’ The woman checks her notes for a solid minute “There’s…” she dances the words around the air with her southern accent. “We have an Oxygen Sensor replacement without an assigned worker for tomorrow, client said it was urgent.”

“I’ll take it.” Eddie spat before the other man took it, such an easy job was commonly fighted around, easy money. “At what hour should the client be here?”

“Night shift.”

“That’s fine then, you can count me on nightshift for the rest of the week, Elise.”

The woman rolls her eyes in annoyance “Our hero.”

Drinking his full cup of coffee in one sit, he throws the cup on the trashcan before comforting the old man with his old and barely alive truck, knowing that after that, he will be allowed to go home.

Eddie was living fine on his own, after getting his own trailer next to Wayne’s he did his best to mantain himself up, getting the shifts that will pay him more, doing his own grocery shopping, cooking… He wanted to prove to Wayne he can be by himself, something that (not so) surprisingly Wayne doubted about him. Of course living on his own means getting back home to an empty bed, empty kitchen, empty livingroom. He could get pretty lonely some days, some others it will be him and his thoughts and regretful actions from the past that kept him awake at night. But other than that, Eddie felt okay living by himself.

That shift got him army crawling his way home, even his arms felt heavy as he drove his sweetheart back to the trailer park, he walks his way to the porch to see several bills discarted on his floor, from his rent to medical bills Wayne could not longer take care of amd just a bunch of another bullshit. He sighs looking at each one before tossing them on the table, taking his boots off and the hairtie that was almost tangled to death on his curls.

“For fucks sake.” He groans, pulling out several hairs out of his head with the baby blue tie. “This is fucking stupid.”

There are knocks in his door that interrupts his cursing to himself, he knew it was Wayne that he didn’t even bothered to walk through the door when the old man walks inside. “Hey Uncle Wayne.”

“You had dinner?” the old man puts a tupperware on the same table with the bills.

the younger chuckles “no, i just got home… What is it?”

“Don’t ask, just eat it boy.”

The men had dinner together, in silence, it has been years that there was no words to share, it was just awkward now, it was not like they outgrew eachother, Wayne still loved his son but he also knew he has done stuff that does not agree with his lifestyle, Wayne can’t even hide it the longer the time passes without Eddie fixin’ what he broke.

the metalhead wanted to deny that he was hurt by the coldness of his uncle, but he was, his chest ached everytime he sees the man avoiding eye contact or when he clearly wants to say something but keeps it to himself. Eddie regrets a lot of stuff, he for sure regrets letting his relationship with Wayne walk in a thing thread, knowing that one day, maybe today, tomorrow or in years but one day, the older will leave him on his own.

When Wayne leaves the trailer, Eddie finally takes in the deepest breath has ever took today, his palms rubbing against his tired face, taking a good feel to his hard leather skin and big eyebags. He wishes life was different, he didn’t liked how he grew, the person he has become and how easy was for him to mask everything to others.

Eddie was supposed to be the other way around, always unafraid to show who he was, not comforming to be what others wanted him to be, not hiding or running away and sadly he cannot ask himself what went wrong because he knew exactly what he did to deserve everything he has right now.

He deserves his own voice echoes around the trailer that lacked that spark that made it a ‘home’ for him. He deserves waking up cold in an empty bed, by the sound of his alarm, he deserves realizing he ran out of shampoo because he forgot to write it on his list last sunday.

He deserves every little thing that went wrong.

And you deserve the world. You with the brightest smile and the soft touch, You with warmth and love that you had to offer. You with those fat tears in your eyes the last time he saw you. His heart ached to only remember, because he did, every single time he closed his eyes he could see the tears and the redness of your face.

He deserves nothing and you deserve everything, wherever you are, he hopes you are in a better place than he was.

His dreams were always filled with you that sometimes felt like nightmares, a sick trick his brain played to remind him how much of a fucking idiot he was, coordinating with his heart to bring him the worst life possible just because he let you go. He let you go with the stupidest excuse ever and now he cannot see the end of it.

But at the next morning he knew that everything was done, you probably didn’t even wanted his help and to be fair he doesn’t really know how to help so he begins his own routine all over again.

Shower, blow dry his hair like you said he needed to, breakfast and usually work. But today he doesn’t have work until late at night, he had at least 8 hours to spare.

8 hours of him basically drowning himself in the emptyness of his home.

Shit.

“Shit indeed.” he answers to his own head in a sigh. “Maybe i should do my groceries early, what do you think jr.?” he asks to the panda bear sitting on his sofa. How ironic to call Jr. to a panda you gave to him years ago, it’s like even himself LOVES to annoy himself.

“Yeah, maybe i should.” he rolls his eyes to grab his keys, ignoring the letters that still sat on the table, putting his snow boots on amd the long black jacket, aware of the coldest morning ever was right behind his front door. He knows he shouldn’t drive in snow, Eddie has been warned thousands times that his wreckless driving in the iced streets could cause death amd for some reason that never made him afraid. Not when his mom warned him, not when Wayne did and probably not when you did. Well that was a lie. Back then he did worried to get into an accident, leaving you alone in the cruel highschool world.

Something that was the same level of ironic as Jr. who sat on his sofa.

But you were away now, he doesn’t have to worry for something that already happened years ago.

It tormented him the rest of those 8 hours he waited for to start, the shortest shift even. At 6PM he arrived to the shop, hanging his keys on the reception and taking off his jacket. “Hello, Elise.” he teases the woman.

“Munson.” She responds dry as always. “Your client just arrived 5 minutes ago and it’s waiting on the children cubicle.”

“What, am i fixing a toy car?”

“You are such a comedy genius, Edward.” She rolls her eyes “Hurry up before i even regret putting you to this shift.”

“Have a good night, Elise.” The man winks at the woman who was already bagging everything she owns for the end of her own shift and turns his back at ger, sighing as loud as he could and walking to the kid’s cubicle, a cublicle that was only recently added in suggestion of his coworker Mark who has toddler to take care of, he knows where is at but doesn’t really pass through it, he hasn’t heard of clients using it until tonight. “Excuse me m’am, do you have the keys to your car so i can start with the–“

Tension grows when he opens the door to the cubicle, both heads snap to see him standing there and the woman who was in her knees in front of a baby groans. “Fucking great.”

Eddie tries to process how was it even possible to see you in his own workspace, how was possible that you didn’t aged a single bit but he probably looked like two truck ran over him. He watched you stand up from your knees and he realized that he was not breathing at all. “You’re… The mechanic here, of course you are.”

“I’m sorry… Yeah i just–“

“It’s fine, listen is just a check up… it should be an easy job, after that i can go again.”

his hands reached for the keys that you dangled close to his face and he cursed that he even followed your actions, his heart swells by the sight of you and your cold face. “I’ll work right up, feel comfortable and– yeah…”

You simply nod at him, even the dryness of your nod made him want to just dig a hole and jump straight down to it. So he turns half a circle and leaves to where your car was and he jumped right on the driver seat, taking a deep breath at the smell of that sick, disgusting cherry perfume women always chose for their cars, somehow you weren’t the exception to his personal rule this time.

He wonders more about you, what is your job, where do you live, how do you live? why are you here? It was like his switch detected something that made him remember every single thing about you and it was like you never left. But you did, the picture behind your steering wheel made him clear that you did left. The baby seat on the backseat, the toys in the passenger seat, the backpack next to the toys.

You left, you kept the kid amd you had your life away from him and it was clearly something that hurts him. Because back then he swore he will never regret the choice he made.

And he did.

He regrets screaming at you, making you cry, not answering your calls, disappearing when you needed him the most. He knocked you up and ghosted the shit out of you that same year, being so scared, furious and confused. How was he supposed to explain that to Wayne? how was he supposed to explain that he got his sweetheart pregnant at the young age of 19 when he was about to turn 21 and still sold Rick’s cheap stuff that barely made enough for the two of them on weekends? It wasn’t like he didn’t wanted a kid, he wasn’t sure at the moment but he was completely sure that it was not something he wanted at that moment.

So he told you exactly how he felt.

He remembers the exact words that made your heart take a leap from a bridge, how could he not? he remember regretting them as soon as they left his mouth but he also was too much of a hubristic to even allow him to take it back.

“Hey.” an echoe interrupted him. “Where’s the bathroom to this place?”

“What?”

“Bathroom.” You repeat. “Esther really needs to go.” to Eddie it looks like you hugged yourself but processing the unknown name he could just assume you totally meant the 5 year old behind you.

“Oh!” he reacts, getting out of your car. “Well– the actual bathrooms are not– not childproof so i’ll let you use the office’s place instead, follow me.”

“How can a bathroom be childproof?” you follow his steps, confused at his behavior. “And why is the office’s bathroom is childproof and the clients one not?”

“Because clients don’t take their kids to the repair shop.” he grabs the keys from the wall. “But a coworker does take care of his kids here every 2 weeks, you’ll be amazed how determined he is to childpoorf everything in this office.”

“Oh yeah, i can– yeah it shows.”

Eddie turns for a second to look at the five years old next to you and his sweat ran cold again.

If only.

If only the kid wasn’t an exact copy of his mother he could go on with life and pretend it isn’t his. But she looks just like a Munson. Too much for his liking.

“Listen, just flicker the switch twice before turning it on, we are mechanics not electricians so there’s some issues around the place but… Its way better than the one outside, you know how social levels work.”

“Right.”

“Sure.” he sighs. “I’ll go and check your car, anything else just tell me.”

Another dry nod from you and he consider himself dead, it was more the embarrassment than anything at all, being only the three of you in the building shouldn’t be an issue, he was distracted with the car anyways. He had to be honest, it was a shit ton of work what he had in his hands, the car was just like he expects a woman that doesn’t know anything about cars to be like and it was more work than what any of them expected, whoever tested the vehicle did not found all the issues.

“Great.” He mutters to himself before turning on the car lift and walk his way back to the kids cubicle and knocks three times before opening the door. “Would you mind following me for a bit?”

“Safe to leave her alone?”

He looks around the place and behind him before shaking his head. No he does not trust a kid away from her mother in such a place, he could not see the light of day if the kid scrapped her knee or something worse. “Is just about the diagnosis of the car… She won’t get dirty or anything.”

“Fine.” You whisper, following his steps with the kid in hand.

“So– You remember who did your initial diagnosis? any name or… appearance?”

“Yes!” you straighten your back “His name was… Richard, i believe.”

“Of course.” his head falls backwards. “So, there’s more than just the replacement they told you about… You need an oil change and just a bunch other stuff to fix, all quick fixes but all of them together may take us… 5 days? at max, it all depends on how well your car behaves.”

“What? Eddie i need this car for Nancy’s wedding this friday.”

“I’m working as fast as i could, sweetheart.” He groans, looking up to the car. “I’m sorry to ruin any plans but– it’s that or a car accident on the way.”

“Is there really not option then?”

The man turns to press the button on the lift, bringing the car down to the ground “The only option is to slave me away and work in this car without breaks and you’re not the only one going to Nance’s wedding.”

You laugh to yourself. “You owe me such thing but i guess not.”

“Good call.”

“Man so i don’t have a car for the rest of the week?”

“I’m afraid so, sweetheart.”

He felt guilty by calling you such name, he feel like you would cuzz him out if he kept going but you didn’t. You let him call you like that, Eddie can’t figure it out why.

You called him by his name why can’t he bring the same emergy to you? even when he wanted, he tried to… But only ‘sweetheart’ came out of his mouth. “Well, i should keep working on this one, but if you want a ride home just tell me, no issues.”

You wanted to deny the offer, you really did but yout yawning 5 y/o was begging to be somewhere except an old leather sofa right now. “Can i take the baby seat to your van first?”

“Feel free.” he says, reaching for his keys. “Not changing the music tho.”

“Of course you’re not.” You laugh like it was something natural. Like you laughed all the time in front of him, like anything ever happened.

And as much as he hates to repeat everything, it’s pain. Pain like he never felt before, not even when you left, not even when he heard from Nancy that your kid was having complications when she was born, not even when he heard nothing else from that.

the pain came from the fact that you’re back, you’re here in front of him and you look happier than ever.

Healthy, well put together and emotionally there for everyone and he is not, he is a mess. He can’t even see his uncle in the eyes because it hurts too much to be reminded that the moment he left you was the moment his uncle was first disappointed in him.

“Done.” You simply say. “Should we go?”

Eddie nods, turning off the lights of the place and closing all doors. He could deal with the car tomorrow if he wants to, today was enough of a burden for him to keep going in that cold place all night, so as soon as he turns to see you inside his van, he locka the place.

“Where to.” He asks, turning on his van. “Can do several trips if you need, i’m a personal taxi today.”

“Wayne changed his shift right?”

“3 years ago, yeah.” he starts to exit the place.

You humm at first “Maybe i should visit him before going back to the apartment, is it a problem?”

“What? no, it’s fine uh– the old man and i live in different places now so you can visit him at any point you want now, feel free… We don’t– we are not that close anymore.”

“Really? What changed?”

You, is what he wanted to say, he wanted to tell you so bad how much his life went downhill since he said those things to you. But you didn’t deserved that, you don’t deserve to carry the guilt of his life, he did. After all he was the one that chose to run away.

“Oh you know…” he whinces, was he gonna lie to you? “I uhh–“

“I get it.” you interrupt him.

“Yeah.” Eddie sighs. “Listen… I think it comes without a say that– Sweetheart, i’m sorry i did this to you.”

“You don’t.” You could only laugh, rolling your eyes to look at the wet and dark street

“I do… I shouldn’t have said those things, i shouldn’t have leave you and work with this on your own.”

“You shouldn’t but you did.” Those words echoes more than he wanted, it bounced in his head for seconds and will probably haunt them all night. “If you know you shouldn’t why you did it?”

Eddie turns left to enter Forest Hills, he didn’t had the courage to face you or answer right now, he couldn’t admit how much of a fuck up he is and will be.

And when he parks in front of Wayne’s he sighs, knowing the man will come out any minute now to tell him to park in front of his trailer. So as soon as the old man opens the door he raises his hands up in the air. “Someone wanted to see you, okay? i’ll move in a minute.” he declared and you get out of the van, like it was a signal he asked you, an entrance.

The old man’s eyes softened at the sight of you, oh how he missed to see your face full of youth and happiness. “Hi, Wayne…” you whisper, walking closer to Eddie instead. “Hey i– Esther fell asleep in the chair and…”

“Oh! yeah i’ll– should i let her sleep at my place? is this one right next to Wayne’s”

“Oh don’t worry i just–“

“Let him.” Wayne interrupts. “Is the least he could do.”

Eddie shrunk in his place by the coldness of Wayne’s voice, you could see the shine in your eyes disappearing when the man looked at him and like a robot he turns towards the van from your seat, unbuckling your kid and lift her up without a struggle. “I’ll just take her. don’t worry.” he looks at you with a tired face and walks to his trailer.

Eddie felt knifes punching his guts with every step he took, feeling the heavy figure in his arms made it even more harder. He tried to ignore that she was right next to you in every move, even when she had the most prettiest doe eyes he has ever seen, even when she looks like those pictures Wayne had of his childhood where his mother smiled wide at the camera… He tried so hard to ignore the fact that you named her Esther like his mother even when you knew she will never know about that.

He carefully placed her on the black satin sheets and took an actual look at the toddler.

She also had features that resembled you so well. Your nose was clearly there, his freckles, your long eyelashes… It pained him so much to see how she was a perfect mixture of both of you.

When he gets out of the room, leaving her there, he knew you were there, he felt you follow from behind. “I was scared.” he said, looking down at his feet. “i was scared that my best wasn’t good enough for one, how could it be enough for two? it scared me that i would do more damage to the kid than i will do them good, i was so scared to be like my dad and just– just fuck up everything and it turns out i was right, see? i fuck everything up.”

“Eddie…”

“I thought about you, when i graduated, when i gave up corroded coffin, when i started working in that place… I thought of you when Nance told Robin that the kid was still in the NICU, i somehow wanted to blame me for everything and i should, because i left you and you struggled… i heard what happened with your mom and that you left hawkins and i just– i’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

You sigh, looking at nothing and everything at once, you heard every single word that came out of his mouth and you waited until he was done for you to speak “she had a resuscitation in the delivery room.” you started heavy. “She wasn’t breathing well because she was too small for her gestational age, that happens a lot of times for babies, it has nothing to do wit you.” you explain. “My mother? yeah she did kicked me out of the house but– that was way before the whole– the whole pregnant issue. That was on me, it was because of you but it was my choice… My choice to date you, right?”

He didn’t said a word.

“It is a lot, i did struggle, i thought about not having her but also– even when you didn’t said a thing, when you left, when you screamed at me… i knew it was correct for me to have her… I was going to do this with or without you, Eddie…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.”

Eddie then looks your way, with regret he looks in your eyes that started filling with tears at same time as him. Neither of you thought this moment was gonna happen, it didn’t felt real. And Eddie regretted everything, he regretted to ever break your heart.

“She doesn’t have to be yours if you don’t want to, i more than everything know how hard is to carry with a kid… But i do have one question.”

Eddie nods slightly.

“If the circumstances were different– if we weren’t as young as we were… you wouldn’t leave?”

Eddie thinks for a minute, part of him think he will always be scared to ruin a life like his father did but that was also the part that kept him from not running, he doesn’t trust that part of him one bit. “I wouldn’t.” he answers.

He was honest, if the circumstances were different he would have adored you, the kid, he would have been the same eddie he was in highschool, the one that pampered you with kissed and hugs around the halls and took you to dates ever single sunday. “Then what stops you now?”

“I’m afraid i’m too late.” he admits again. “That no matter what i do… i would never forgive myself for what i did to you.”

“You don’t know that, Eddie.”

“There are thing we can’t fix anymore, sweetheart… I’m afraid to admit that what we had before is ome of those things… I promised you the moon but i will never reach those expectations for you, i failed you once, you shouldn’t trust that i will not do it again.”

His truth was loud, just like the silence that came after that, Eddie looks at his table instead, looking at the bills that were left unattended and untouched. The envelopes were still closed, waiting for him to open and be paid, to assume his responsibilities once more. ironic.

“I can’t forget about you, sweetheart.” he adds. “You were my everything… if i did that to you, how am i deserved of a second chance?”

“You don’t get to tell me who to give a second chance to, man.” You whine. “The fact that i saw you after years of trying to avoid you makes me feel like– like we have stuff to finish together… Don’t let her be another Munson with a shitty dad, be there for her, make her have what you didn’t.”

“You say that but–“

“We don’t have to be together for you to be her dad if you don’t want to, you don’t have to love me or even stand me… But i want her to be happy.”

Eddie then breaks, he sobs under his hands, he never noticed when but those rubbed his face with his salty tears. “But i do.”

“Eddie.”

“I still love you, princess… I didn’t knew i was until i saw you again, i don’t want to love you the way i do but how can i not? you still wear your heart on your sleeve even to white trash like me, makes me wish that you hated me, why can’t you hate me?” he cries, his breath became unsteady as you approached even more to him, trying to hold his hands but getting a hold of his wrist, your touch made him feel weak on his knees.

“I hate you.” You whisper, burrying youself in his arms. “I hate your stupid big brown eyes, i hate your fucking long hair and your big shoulders.” he keeps crying, but his arms moved to hug you, his face now hidding itself in your hair. “I hated you when you left me… If it makes you feel better, i also hate how right you are, we cannot fix us anymore.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Don’t be.” your hand rubs his back. “Come on, big man, you’re gonna make me cry too.” you only chuckle to avoid the tears. “Fuck you know i hate to see you cry.”

Eddie kept muttering sorry’s in your neck as he kept crying and they started to feel like he had them saved for you, for this specific moment of his life.

“Look at us… we grow up too fast didn’t we?” You break the hug, palms on each side of his face who was red and wet from tears, he nods, ashamed of his feelings. “Eddie i promise you that Esther doesn’t have to be a mistake to you, we can do this… for her.”

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“Then we can say that we tried.” you shrug your shoulders. “I really doubt that would happen though.”

Eddie looks at your face, you really didn’t changed one single bit, your eyes were as kind as he could remember and your cheeks were always rose pink. It made him cry even more.

You stay untouched by time while he felt like his body was rotting from the inside and the outside. He wanted to dig a hole and jump to never get out of there. But instead he got a warm kiss on his right cheek, a soft and short one that was enough for him to kneel in front of you. Knees touching the wood hard enough that it stings but his hands huggimg your waist still.

“Get up, you silly man.” You laugh.

“I’m so sorry, please… Please forgive me, sweetheart.”

“Eddie you don’t have to do that! get up!” you keep laughing. “Hey, look at me.” He searches for your eyes above him. “Let’s give this conversation a rest, should we? i wanted to visit Wayne.”

“Don’t worry, i’m here okay?” Wayne opens the door with a firm step. “It’s a great moment for us to talk, isn’t it?– get up from the floor, boy.”

Eddie got up from his knees, cleanning his own tears with his black sweater and you nod, looking at Wayne with the most serious face you have seen ever in your life.

You cannot help but wonder if this was the look he gave to Eddie since you left and how much have it hurt to the boy. You can’t really imagine, Wayne adored his boy, that was his son…

“Wayne–“

“Save it boy… I’d like to say something i have been saving for years now if it doesn’t bother you.” The old man points at the sofa behind him and both of you walk to sit down, facing him. “I don’t want to know how or why you suddenly are face to face but i think it comes without a word that both of you are worked out about all of this, you both are adults, we have certain maturity already to understand this is more than just a cry and a hug.” Eddie nods, leaning foward to rest elbows on his knees, head hung low and already tired. “There has always been a life between you two, that kid right there deserves more than your wity cries and misserable aura, boy.” Wayne points at Eddie’s room. “it’s either you grow out of it or rest a case for her, you are already 25, act like it.”

Wayne has maybe seen the way you furrow your eyebrows because he sighs deeply before talking again, of course you didn’t agree with those words, even when they were directed at Eddie you felt them too, word you heard everytime rang in your mind.

“Is she healthy?”

“Yes sir.”

“Happy?”

“I’d like to think so, sir.” you nod. “She’s the prettiest, sir.”

“i bet she is, kid.” he nods before rubbing his temple. “I do agree with one thing you said… You grew up too fast, this wasn’t meant to be an easy task, you two created a whole human, do you know how heavy is that shit?”

Wayne cursing was definitely what made both the young adults stiffen in their seats, looking at eachother in fear. “We know Wayne…”

“Do you, boy?” the man raises a brow. “Have you known that for 5 years or did it just hit you?”

“I know, okay? i always knew how impactful this was, Wayne, i am a fucking moron i know, you remind me every day, everyone fucking does!” Eddie stands up from his seat, he didn’t want to raise his voice at all, the kid was sleeping on the room next to him. “I regretted every single second of my life these 5 years and i thought about stuff, everything was just way too much at the moment i completely blacked out of my mind! i was fucking 19, Wayne! She was 18 and i completely fucked her life with my own shit! don’t you think i have given myself hell for it?”

You look up at him, the tears were back and they rolled stronger than ever on his cheeks, too much emotion, too much feeling.

“I know you are disappointed as fuck with me and i know i was an asshole to her but come on! you don’t have to bring her into this shithole when you kept everything quiet for years! specially not now with the kid sleeping in the other room.” Eddie takes a big breath. “I’m fixing her car this week, please give me time.”

You can’t help but to smile at his words, it was the bare minimum but still made you feel like not everything was lost… Maybe you did had a chance to give to him and he was just scared to accept it.

Wayne saw it too. “Boy–“

“Mr. Munson– if… i can have a word i would just like to say” You interrupt the older man, standing up from your place. “Eddie was the first one to bring up the issue– i know that i shouldn’t be that easily forgetfull of the struggles i’ve been to but– if you don’t mind… i would like Esther to have a father to look up to.”

The man softened his gaze at the sound of the kid’s name, oh how much he wishes his sister was there for her boy, maybe if she was still alive this issue wouldn’t have been a problem, his parenting was not as perfect as hers after all. “Are you sure, kid?”

“Only if Eddie wants to.” you smile. “He also deserves a choice.”

[silvermare]

If you know me outside of Tumblr, don't tell my mom

I said goodbye to my old car last night. Vivid green 2012 Hyundai Accent hatchback. That thing had stellar fuckin gas mileage (for a non-hybrid anyway, I could squeeze like 40mpg out of it if I tried), hauled around way too much shit, played FAFO with black ice, was stolen in Amarillo, TX and recovered south of Oklahoma City, OK - and for context, I live in Indianapolis - back in 2018, and transported many friends and even some coworkers. It also has had kernels of dry field corn in the floorboard for the past two years. Oh, and I broke the frickin passenger side mirror by backing out of the garage too close.

Her name was Arachnaverde because she was green and I kept an anatomically incorrect spider skeleton (halloween decoration) on the dashboard. Spood's job was to let me know when I was taking a turn too fast. He would skitter away if I did.

Prior to Arachnaverde, I had a 1994 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme that I called Madame Blueberry. She was a lovely teal color, had two doors, and I once forgot an entire watermelon in the back floorboard in college and it rotted and stank so badly. -4/10 do not recommend. Also her trunk had loose soybeans from when I took a few dried soybean plants for some reason or another. ADHD be like that sometimes.

Prior to Madame Blueberry, I had an unnamed charcoal gray 89 Mercury Grand Marquis. This car had one interesting anecdote, and 3 notable events.

In the long long ago when I was still in junior college (2 year college for people who live in states that don't fuck with junior colleges), I left it overnight in the college parking lot for some reason I no longer recall. When I retrieved it in the morning, someone had used car window paint to write "HOOPTY" on the back windshield. To be fair, it was.

That car was how I learned not to leave a can of silly string in a hot car. Did you know if a can of silly string gets hot enough it will straight up explode? I didn't until I found a really messy plastic bag and blue spatters all over the roof of my car.

I used to park under a specific tree in front of the house, because I lived with my parents on a farm, and the garage was for my mom's vehicle, no one else's. Dad's main ride parked in the patch of ground between the barnyard fence and the garage (dad's parking spot, mostly), and the farm truck parked in the barnyard. Anyway, point is, I parked under a tree which worked quite well for many years except at the very end a large fragment of dead tree pierced my car *right* in front of the hood so I had a rough rectangle of Missing Car for the tail end of my ownership.

Anyway, I've known for months that I needed to get a new car. Needed new front struts, a replacement sensor in the steering column, new back brakes, new front tires.... I tried back in May but for some reason the car I found just didn't vibe with me (Mitsubishi Mirage). It was kinda noisy, very basic. Also very cheap.

Last week, the stars aligned and I found a hopeful prospect with low mileage, decent mpg, and within my budget.

So now I have a new-to-me brick of tofu (white Kia Soul 2020).

I have said my farewells to the green beast, and look forward to what kind of adventures I'll get into with the as-of-yet-unnamed toaster.

So far the best name I've come up with is Tofungus because I am awful. I definitely want to give it a black horizontal stripe and add the "Fujiwara Tofu Shop" decal to the side because i'm a fuckin weeb and also did you know there's a sequel to Initial D this season? I'm enjoying it.

[seat-safety-switch]

I don’t know why, but whenever I go to the grocery store, people keep giving me money. They just walk right up to me in the parking lot and fork over a couple bucks. Sometimes they act like I should be embarrassed to take it, or whisper something like “you poor dear” as they pass the change and bills into my hands. Occasionally, an angry husband makes me swear that I won’t spend it on drugs. No problem, sir, it’s just going into this shitty Plymouth behind me. Drugs are nothing compared to the thrill of finally getting the horn to work.

Sure, I don’t dress particularly well, either. Grease-stained t-shirts promoting a long-past motorcycle derby from a distant city. Whatever free hat NAPA handed out most recently, also stained with grease and/or shoplifted undercoat. That’s no reason for people to be giving me charity, not when there’s truly deserving people. Admittedly, those people are driving Camrys that were made in this century, and probably don’t have to walk home nearly as often as I do.

Perhaps I’ve gotten off-track a little bit with my life. I should be projecting a lot more confidence in my dirtbag existence. Despite what the nice social workers say, there’s really no law against cornering people at the grocery store and talking to them about six-barrel carbs and mostly-junkyardable Jeep cam position sensors. Then they’d know that they are dealing with someone who Chose to be a complete asshole, rather than a person who is so beaten down by society that they operate a 1970s Mopar product unwillingly.

Trust me: if you knew how much work and expense this thing took to keep running, you’d be throwing eggs instead of pennies. Any sucker can finance a badly-running Highlander from a buy-here-pay-here lot off of Crackhead Street and then go to their three grinding retail/service jobs, but in order to avoid falling out on the highway at one-half road speed, I need to invest the approximate salary and skillset of one highly-trained mechanical engineer. Maybe send some of that charity money to Chrysler, so they can build a better car for me to ruin in fifty years from now.