#How to get into minecraft mass

[bagelboihijinks]

The Undersiders streaming Minecraft after Taylor’s identity reveal instead of Tay turning herself in. They aren’t gonna go to war with Tagg, they’re just gonna become so likable that he gets kicked out of the Bay. So obviously the first thing they do is stream the biggest game at the time. Like how AOC streamed Among Us.

Alec has been playing since it was called Cave Game, so he spends a lot of time explaining how it works and all that. Brian keeps asking “okay but what do you do?” And Alec has to explain that it’s a goddamn sandbox game and you can do whatever the fuck you want. Brian ends up just collecting resources and giving them away to whoever needs them because he needs a goal and likes the feeling of being able to provide even in Minecraft.

Lisa has more fun than she expects, but really she gets more enjoyment out of the streaming aspect. Because for Lisa, having thousands of live viewers in her chat ripe for mass manipulation is like being a kid in a candy store.

Rachel wouldn’t play, but if she did, she’d lag out the world by breeding too many wolves. Alec would try to kill the wolves to reduce lag, and Rachel would then try to kill Alec in real life.

Taylor would accidentally invent the most efficient and game breaking farms just by dicking around and trying to optimize her base. Over a decade down the line Minecraft players will still be using farms and methods based off of her playthrough.

Aisha similarly would innovate new technologies in Minecraft that would become classic staples, but her contributions would all be traps and griefing methods designed to cause as much chaos and despair as possible.

The streams get super popular obviously and eventually Tagg is kicked out of Brockton for being an aggressive jackass. You could either go with the PRT leaving Brockton in entirety, or just replacing Tagg with a more passive director.

[anotherfcknschlattsimp]

heyy! i was thinking about how schlatt is generally a private person, so could you please write about what it would be like trying to hide the relationship and the eventual reveal? thank you!

he's so absurdly paranoid

at home? always has to be touching you

holding your hand, sitting with your legs touching, little kisses all over your face, neck, arms, anywhere he can get to

but with the blinds closed and all cameras facing away from you two

date nights are either inside or with a third person so you can brush it off as three friends hanging out

but he plays footsies with you under the tablecloth because he can get away with it

would avoid flirting with you on camera, which leads to people noticing the different way he treats you, how he looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars, how he laughs genuinely at all of your jokes, how he just stares at you when he doesn't think he's in frame

and then one day you're both at let's say mizkif's house because when is that man not recording, you both think you're safe and out of view, but then another streamer decides to sneak up on you guys (shushing their audience and everything) and ends up capturing you two in a sweet kiss

schlatt holding your hip with one hand to pull you closer, the other used to lean against the wall and cage you in to keep you there

the cleanup for the slip was EXHAUSTING

took all of your mods about 3 weeks to finally calm down the angry simps and the obsessive shippers

couldnt take the clip down, you finally got one down and three more appear

he's still not comfortable with pda, but he does calm down a bit about how strict he is about it

finally having 2 person dates (rip Ted probably)

everyone calls you jambo and [ERROR]'s mom, regardless of your gender

speaking of gender

he has another mass purge of followers, but this time anyone who says anything bad about you being a woman/man/nb/cis/trans/etc.

minecraft wedding

the rocks in your background are all from him and his few trips outside

(lots from Japan)

NSFW

some people notice a little big something in schlatt's pants when he looks at you too long

everytime you two have to stream all day, or are otherwise unable to get a moment to yourselves to sneak a kiss, he makes absolutely SURE that he makes up for it

going for hours, making you cum at LEAST 5 times

every position you two can get in

he doesn't care how many times he finishes, or if he even does

he just wants to show you how absolutely LOVED you are

AAAAAAAA FIRST EVER FIC/HCs/ANYTHING, PLEASE LIKE IF YOU LIKE IT, COMMENT, SEND REQUESTS, ETC.

p.s. my keyboard doesn't have a caps lock cause im on a fucking chromebook

[pseudophan]

Unpopular opinion: i do not fully like the rebranding of dnpg and i think the gaming should be kept here while a brand new couple channel should be done on the side for nongaming

see i get the thought process and i think dan and phil sort of agree with it and that's part of the reason why it's taken them this long. the thing is though, if you've got a channel dedicated specifically to one type of content, you kind of have to be somewhat consistent with said content for the channel to not get completely fucked by the algorithm. if they had one joint channel for non-gaming and another one for gaming then they would either have to double their video output or just accept that their videos would get a much smaller reach than they would otherwise. i know the majority of dnp's views come from people who are already subscribed to them, but that doesn't mean the % that doesn't wouldn't be a significant loss. adding onto that, while a lot of us are feral there would definitely also be a lot of casuals who just wouldn't ever move onto the new channel if they made one, which could not be an issue at all because there's always a chance the new channel would draw in a lot of new people instead, but it's still a risk

dan and phil come from the era of youtube where you were supposed to have a separate channel for everything because that's how you keep subscribers coming back, by giving them the exact content they signed up for, but as youtube and the algorithm have evolved that's just not really the way to do things anymore. now the best approach is generally to put most things on the same channel because the more frequent your uploads are the more the videos get pushed out to the masses, and even if dnp aren't primarily aiming for mainstream success they do still rely on their videos getting pushed out at least to an extent

ofc some content benefits from being kept separate, posting HUGELY different kinds of things on the same channel doesn't really work either (like if philip defranco started posting minecraft letsplays on main that would only hurt him, ykwim) but when it comes to dan and phil gaming vs dan and phil doing random other things, the target audience there overlaps so heavily that separate channels don't really makes sense just from a business perspective

edit: i forgot to say this initially but because of this it would also put a lot more pressure on them to do gaming videos when it sounds like they want to kind of sideline that content. they'll still do the gaming, but i think they like the idea that that if they don't want to game at all for a month they don't have to, they can just film something else

[forsaken-headcanons]

dumps my things on your head like an anvil /silly /j /nsrs

noob, elliot, and shedletsky were the first 3 survivors to get forsakened (referencing how they're the 3 free survivors as of now)

one of shedletsky's favorite songs to sing at random times is steve's lava chicken from the minecraft movie. if 1x1x1x1 hears this he will SCREAM as loudly as they possibly can and go after shedletsky. this man cannot get silly 💔🥀

two time, prior to their rework, did have their dagger in the lobby, they just forgot to really use it. because, well, the urges to stab the survivors

c00lkidd, whenever stabbed by two time, feels the most pain out of all of the killers when getting stabbed by two time. because of this, he has to run to 7n7 and cry to him about "that meanie with the sharp thingy"

related to the above hc, john doe doesn't feel pain from being stabbed, because the corruption has made his whole body so numb, that he can't even feel pain

again, related to the c00lkidd stabbing hc. mafioso, unlike c00lkidd, won't feel as much pain, and just . brush it off. he's def been stabbed a lot so , it wouldn't affect him that much . which explains his line "I feel no pain, can you say the same?"

azure, with the other killers, sometimes sees how c00lkidd gets stabbed by two time, and how he complains to 7n7. he just goes on like "*dramatically long sigh* ...another reason to hate this insolent FILTH....."

-🩸

OOOUUUWWW MY HEAD!!!/silly Shedletsky singing the lava chicken song is PERFECT, though I see how this could piss off 1x4. It pisses me off sometimes, too./silly It's interesting how John Doe doesn't feel pain due to the mass corruption consuming his body. Interesting!

[pupslimes]

i want to chomp on his arm

chomp chomp

bet you weren't expecting a whole fic when u put this in my inbox a few weeks ago HUH?? anyways. slight cw for petplay (get forcepupped). uuuuuh masc reader lowkey tmasc but never specified i don't think and charlies first time autistic4autistic ass couple... ye

You leaned further into Charlie's side, and he wrapped his arm around you. It had been a few months since the two of you had started dating, and you had become more and more physical with one another as time had continued. Now, you found yourselves tangled together more often than not, a mass of limbs held together at the hips, or one of you crawling into the others lap. You hadn't progressed past some solidly heavy making out yet, but you figured he was waiting until he was sure you were comfortable. You were consistently trying to show him just how comfortable you were with it, changing in front of him when you slept at his place, guiding his hands to your thighs when you kissed, even going so far as to swoon and bat your eyes at him when he lifted something particularly big. Every time, however, he had simply shifted in his seat while clearing his throat, occasionally tugging at his pants.

Being in an autistic relationship was new to you. You were used to your boyfriends just forging ahead without consent, and you'd often gone along with it, because that's what boys were supposed to want right? You had been desperate to prove yourself to them as a man, and so you'd let them take from you. It wasn't that you didn't want it, but that you appreciated the build of it. Now, the build of it had gone on for far too long, Charlie not picking up on what you thought were your incredibly strong cues. You mused to yourself that you were likely less obvious than you thought, and you knew you'd have to do something a little bit more… intense… to get the point across to this man. A plan began slowly formulating in your head.

You pushed your body up against Charlie's, arching your back into him. He barely seemed to look away from the Minecraft playthrough you two had put on. Usually, you would have been equally captivated, but you had decided you were on a mission now, and nothing could distract you from it. Your eyes roamed over his ample chest, noting to yourself how much bigger his tits were than yours, and remembering to make a point later to compliment him on just how much the working out was doing for him recently. Your gaze continued past his pecs, landing on your target, his arm that was practically straining against his stupid graphic tshirt.

You leaned over, pressing your lips against the exposed bicep. He gave a slight start, the spell of the YouTube video broken. "Babe?" he muttered down at you confusedly. "Uh, hi?" Your eyes flicked up to his, and you couldn't help the little amount of mischief that sparkled in them when your gaze met his, and the corner of your mouth lifted in a tiny smile. You laser focused once again on his arm, before unhinging your jaw slightly, and biting. You focused on your teeth sinking down into his flesh, making sure not to apply so much pressure you hurt him, and certainly not enough to brrak skin, but enough pressure to let him know this move was intentional, and that you meant business by it. "Um…" Charlie seemed at a loss for words.

You knew he liked it, of course. You hadn't gone into this blindly. When the two of you play wrestled together, you noticed the stutter in his movements when your nails had raked down his sides or his chest as you scrabbled at him, peals of laughter echoing through the room. He had tried to play it off, but you had spent enough time learning body language to know exactly what it meant. Charlie was turned on by pain. Especially sharp pain, especially from you.

You gave your head an experimental shake, tugging at him slightly. "Is this… are you…stimming?" He tried to broach the subject gently. "Should I… bite you back?" He leaned over, and his teeth sunk into your shoulder. You saw stars almost immediately. You understood now why he was into thus. The feeling of his teeth in your shoulder activated some sort of prey animal mechanism in your brain, and you felt yourself go limp under him. The moan that pulled from your chest was unrestricted and unashamed, and you let yourself fall boneless into his lap. Obviously, this was distinctly not the response he was expecting, as he pulled away from you with a slight yelp. His pulling up and your pulling down met in the middle incredibly messily, and in your desperation to keep your mouth on him, drool slid past your lips and made its way onto his arm. Well, you hoped he liked that.

It appeared that he did, in fact like that, as you felt a chuckle vibrate in his chest, still pressed against your side. "You're like a puppy or something, you know that?" You batted your eyes up at him, before blinking several times hard and fast, hoping he understood that you were pushing him on. He ruffled your hair playfully. "You make a very cute puppy, hun. Do you want a treat?"

At this, you let go, climbing the rest of the way into his lap. "Looks like puppy does want a treat," he cooed. He took your face in both hands, bringing it into his, before carefully slotting his mouth against yours. The kiss started off chaste, Charlie obviously struggling with where to put his hands in the moment. You gripped his wrists, and led his palms to rest on top of your hips. You wiggled the lower half of your body like you were wiggling a tail, and Charlie broke the kiss, cheeks flushing red. "Happy puppy?" the words seemed almost forced out with the effort it was taking him to talk right now. You nodded, before surging forward again, kissing him much harder than before. After another few seconds, you dared to shift around in his lap again. His hips bucked into yours almost immediately, and you whined plaintivly into his mouth. He yanked back again immediately. "Oh shit, sorry babe. Was that okay? I got too into it and got distracted, I'm so sor-"

His words were cut off when you started nipping and licking at his neck, nuzzling into it like a puppy seeking heat. Little ah ah ah's were working their way out of his mouth at your ministrations, and you couldn't help but smile into his skin. You shifted your body again, and you finally found what you were feeling for. Charlie, rock hard and throbbing underneath you. You pressed down again, widening your eyes to an almost comical degree as you looked into his for several seconds at a time, flitting away now and again to ease the tension within both of you.

"Oh," The word left Charlie's mouth like a stone dropping to the bottom of a river. "You want to… oh,"

Finally. You couldn't have waited much longer honestly, couldn't have kept up the whole puppy routine before you started yowling in need and pawing between his legs. Okay well… that might have still been the puppy routine. Maybe you were into the puppy thing more than you thought…

That, however, was definitely something to explore later down the line.

"Puppy wants a different treat then, huh?" His voice was breathless with want.

Or maybe not.

You nodded aggressively, slipping off his lap to settle between his thighs, where his hand automatically reached to pet you like a beloved companion. Which you supposed you were.

"Good pet,"

Oh, this was going to be fun.

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

ooh ooh ooh! what video game do you think the boyd boys would each enjoy?

Steve Murphy: Haha, so, here’s the thing. Steve isn’t much of a gamer, but Connie and Javi both persuade him to give Stardew Valley a shot because they think it’ll relax him. Steve is resistant, but once he starts playing he’s SO absorbed, which is… initially positive, but he gets so damn intense about it! He’s managing so many tasks! He’s trying to optimize his farm and his relationships! He’s gonna organize his whole fucking day! He LOVES this game, but it’s less a stress-release mechanism and more another way to channel his neuroticism!

Donald Pierce: Ooh, Pierce gets so into Red Dead Redemption. He loves exploring the open world, he loves the music and graphics, and most of all he loves playing as a take-no-shit, badass cowboy. He’s totally living vicariously through Arthur, and it hits him like a steel pipe when Arthur’s unexpectedly raped in RDR2.

Cap Hatfield: You know, I feel like I can see modern Cap getting into RuneScape, to the point where it’s a little hard for him to unplug! Go to sleep Cap! You have an 8am class tomorrow! But he loves the grind and the sense of slow, measured progression – he can be completely absorbed at a fishing spot for hours.

Clement Mansell: Clement’s a classic Call of Duty player! He loves blowing off steam by way of mowing through enemies and shit-talking 12-year-olds in the chat. He’s like, got his bong between his knees as he plays, taking covert little hits between the breaks in the action.

The Corinthian: Oh man, I feel like it’s Grand Theft Auto?? He loves the open world! He loves all the OPTIONS. There’s been times when he’s spent hours just wandering through the city, not causing even a bit of a stir, and then next time he boots it up he immediately sets off on a car chase that ends with 50 dead prostitutes, 100 dead police officers, and a stolen helicopter being rammed into a bridge. The Corinthian is shocked when he learns there’s an actual story in the game, too.

Eli Klaber: Lol, maybe this one is self-indulgent, but I feel like Klaber would get into SWTOR? The mechanics are easy to learn and the gameplay isn’t particularly challenging at all, but the stories are a blast and the characters are fully customizable, which is a must for Klaber. He wants to make his space Barbie and take her around the galaxy!

Vic Owen: Oh, it’s Beat Saber for sure. The fast lights! The music! The motion! It’s so stimulating and engaging in every way, and it’s so good at reliably burning away his excess energy! He’s so happy and spent by the time he’s done! Also, he just likes hitting things in virtual reality!

Danny Maguire: Surprisingly, Mass Effect. He starts playing on a whim, not expecting to like it very much, but he gets so damn hooked in the world and the storytelling. He totally starts off telling himself he’s gonna be a bad guy too, but that doesn’t last long at all. A few hours in and he’s making the most heroic choices and getting genuinely distressed if he can’t save everyone. He doesn’t get why he cares! It’s stupid! He’s falling in love with all his companions! They feel like family!

Ty Shaw: Ty ADORES Mario Kart! It’s so colorful and accessible and fun for all ages! It’s awesome to play in groups! He loves popping on a few games of Mario Kart as an icebreaker when he’s introducing someone to his family, too! Plus, it’s always good to see how they handle friendly competition!

Quinn McKenna: Quinn’s not big on story-based or roleplaying-heavy games, and although he does like the occasional combat game, the game he gets so damn addicted to is Minecraft. It’s the perfect balance of creativity within a clear and established structure! Quinn’s an adept visual thinker too - he starts off building some more simple structures, but it’s not long before he’s constructing giant fortesses and underwater bunkers.

[bookskiver]

Tmr characters in a minecraft server together:

Thomas and newt have a whole life going on, they have a little cottage they live together (they got from their shared pintrest board) with mass amounts of dogs and cats (all named and fed daily)

Gally is a menace bro no one likes him 💀 he is there to cause havoc. He griefs thomas and newts house every time hey annoy him irl (which is alot) usually burning it and does not give a fuck about the animals (newt and thomas have a whole graveyard for them and newt gets unironically mad when one of them dies)

Gally has an underground base in the mountains that no one knows about. He is LOADED bro he's got everything, but his base is ugly asf it's all just stone

Minho is the nicer version of gally he griefs thomas and newt but instead of fire he builds obsidian dicks all over their house

He just doesn't have a home 💀

He just uses whatever beds nearest, but for the most part, he's there for a fun time (he's also unironically scared of mobs but would never admit it)

Him and gally have a lot of bonding time bc they like to cause other people pain. But he will NEVER hurt their animals. If he burns their house, he will evacuate everyone 100%

Teresa, for some reason, knows how to make all potions from memory. She opens a cute little shop and trades items she needs for the potions she made

Surprisingly, no one steals from it. They all kinda respect her bc she knows stuff, and she doesn't ask for much in return, so she's happy with her little shop (also got her shop from pintrest)

She and brenda have a little deal where brenda goes and gets the difficult ingredients (usually in the nether bc teresa REFUSES to go there), and teresa makes the potions. Brenda gets to either have some of the profits or just take some potions if she needs

Brenda also doesn't have a home she's too busy carrying this server on her back

Chuck has lived in a dirt shack the ENITRE TIME and still uses stone tools

This is bc every time he tries to make a proper base FUCKING MINHO AND GALLY COME ALONG AND DESTROY IT 💀💀💀

justice for chuck man 😭

He leaves little signs around the server like 'have a nice day :))' that usually gets destroyed by gally. Teresa sometimes writes back tho

Alby is like a God in this server

He's a BEAST as redstone and has a whole empire going on

Not even gally tries to greif him. But a lot of people steal from him, the reason being he has so much stuff he doesn't even notice

But if he does they're kicked from the server (he's not playing around (he's also admin))

Frypan has a little bakery next to Teresa's potion shop :)

Sonya and Harriet live together in one of those connected houses if that makes sense

One of these bad boys ☝️☝️☝️(picture from pintrest)

Aris lives in their floor boards.

No one really bothers them and if they do Harriet is out for blood

Sorry this went on for so long I had alot of thoughts 😭 <33

[nomsfaultau]

Philza Malewife Competition Round 14

Previous rounds: Cleaning. Cooking. Decorating. Karens. Sick Day. Eggs. Hugs. Venting. DIY. Gifts. Valentines. Bullies. Field Trip. Current points: The Lambs Wolves Wear (3), Lighting Lanterns (1), Weight in Gold (3), Golden Apples (2), Fault (2), Lord! (1), Babies? (2), Mandatory Family Reunion (0). And an honorary point to qsmp for a guest appearance.

For a quick synopsis for the fics I’m referencing- those are here

Next round: Mental Health! Is the Philza stable? Does he have coping mechanisms that are effective? How much stress is he under? (suggested by anon)

Fault: This Philza has a LOT of mental health coping techniques, but he's also under a lot of stress from being hunted down by the Foundation. His best coping mechanism for surviving immortality is to surround/ground himself with loved ones for company, although when doing badly this makes him prone to latching on the first scrappy kid he sees. Also big on meditating, introspection, a deep understanding of himself, and apocalyptic revenge (Does? Does the mass murder count if it's improving his mental state??). The fact he takes physical damage from angst and for the most part is unharmed is proof he manages mostly. But the amnestics have really, really messed with his memories and mental state, so if we're asking during that arc, uh, well he's physically unraveling bc of his dumpsterfire mental health.

Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home: He has cause for grief in his life, certainly. His best friend dying every year is rough. But this Philza has a proper ritual to help him through it with the Lights Festival, which helps. Plus by the end he turns his grief into motivation for bringing joy into the world.

Mandatory Family Reunion: It's all about breathing exercises, spending time with his family, spyware in Techno's therapy sessions, and taking every ounce of his drunken anger out on the Piglins chained in his basement. Straight up chapter 6. Repeatedly has grown too depressed to properly take care of himself/family. But, other than that, his mental health is totally fine, it's Techno he has to worry about!

Lambs: No.

The Lambs Wolves Wear: Okay if I have to really get into it, he's horror story protag, a physical/psychological abuse victim, and so deep into a fawning response that he's destroying himself. Lowkey suicidal. NEXT.

Worth far more than your Weight in Gold: He kidnapped Tommy so he wouldn't have to think about the horror of his unhatched child being murdered. No? He's not okay? He does make the distinction that he isn't trying to replace the chick with Tommy though.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!: He kidnapped Tommy so he wouldn't have to think about the horror of being a stagnate immortal incapable of change or truly living. No? He's not okay? Also ALSO kidnaps Tommy because all the previous children he's kidnapped have DIED because HUMANS CAN'T SURVIVE there. He's this tweet.

Where do babies come from?: He's doing peachy. Can't afford a therapist but like, isn't in desperate need of one. Listening to music or playing minecraft to relax soothes most stuff. Like mildly stressed, and wondering what's wrong with all those other Philzas.

Golden Apples (Gilded Atrophy): The Golden Apple he's addicted to rolls from his limp hand, gold oozing from the bite mark. What sweet poison, what divine hell. Enchanted miasma rolls off the cursed fruit, the heavenly scent lacing Philza's slowing breaths as at last his immortal life dwindles. The golden scars across his lifeless eyes flicker, the wounds widening until the golden glow takes over completely. The parasite begins to feed on its kill.

[antimony-medusa]

God, I need to not just dump all of it into atthebell's comments and make my own post, but like, the idea that people mischaracterize for the purposes of shipping is true and a feature of every fandom I've seen, but the idea that that is unique to shipping and gen is somehow protected from it is ludicrously untrue.

I have been in the TRENCHES looking for stuff of my guys that's even reasonably close to character, and at this point it's noteworthy when I run across gen stuff that lets Phil swear. Philza. Mr. "sorry if You're learning english from me I fuckin' swear a fuckton" minecraft. They don't even write Techno as funny. They don't even write Techno as sarcastic. You think platonic beeduo "bee boy" Tubbo on the verge of tears because someone was mean to Ranboo is somehow the peak of characterization?

There are five hundred and thirteen fics in the "baby tommyinnit" tag. There are two hundred and eleven platonic fics tagged both "Philza" and "Daddy Issues". You think gen fics are better at characterization and sticking to canon? Twelve thousand nine hundred and eighty fics in "sleepy boys inc as family", a dynamic that Technoblade actively didn't like and decanonized. LOOK AT ME STANDING HERE IN HELL AND TELL ME AGAIN THAT GEN DOES A BETTER JOB OF RESPECTING THE CHARACTERS.

deep breath

The gen characterization of the majority of DSMP fics is so so far from canon, like— it can still be fun, I can still be having a good time, but it is noteworthy when I hit someone who is characterizing in a way that's true to canon. If you rely on Gen to characterize properly just innately, you simply have only been reading the good stuff. Do you know how many fics are in the tag? Do you know? Do you think they're all the good stuff? Do you think everybody writing "[x] as found family" is paying close attention to character? Are they, perhaps, just writing the stuff that makes them feel happy and the cubitos are just vessels for that? This happens in gen fics and this happens in ship stuff. I feel like my brain is on fire here.

And I've read ship stuff that's really good character studies! The interaction of people's relationships and what that does to their charcter is not like, magically repelled by the presence of kissing. The problem is not "shipping", the problem is "bad writing", or simply just writing that isn't interested in characterization, and that shows up any time you get a mass of writers writing.

[rottenpumpkin13]

More AGSZC minecraft shenanigans perhaps? How far do they get?

Actually, Lazard finally had enough of it, so he pinned a list on the notice board titled "Reasons Why Minecraft Is Banned From This Department" which included:

• Too many people playing Minecraft during work hours. Lazard once found Zack and Kunsel building their "family home" while they were supposed to be on a mission. • A fight broke out between Sephiroth and Angeal after Angeal accidentally deleted Sephiroth's build. Lazard never thought he'd live to see the day Zack and Genesis would step between the responsible ones to stop the fight.

• Sephiroth built an exact replica of the Shinra Building, then set it on fire—and they found him casually sipping wine while watching it burn. • Zack got way too attached to a wolf, but then it died and he cried for hours and refused to take on missions until he had properly grieved.

• Every time Genesis encountered an enderman, the surrounding operatives learned a new and exciting curse word that would be repeated throughout the week. • Angeal took his Minecraft crops way too seriously, to the point where he started neglecting his actual plants, which freaked Lazard out. • Sephiroth adopted a whole herd of sheep and then refused to log off until they were "safe." • Everyone received a mass text from Zack saying "SOS! HELP! LOST IN CAVE!" and it was only after the caves in the slums were thoroughly searched, that they learned that Zack was in the comfort of his apartment, lost in a cave in Minecraft.

[nightshadeowl]

Oooh I should tell y'all about what I'm up to on Minecraft. I built a windmill today! I think I have a way of getting mass quantities of almost all of the materials I want for building a bigger base. I'm learning how to use Create slowly but surely.

[kneecapandribcageinverter]

Alright so apparently there's a new update coming out for minecraft and it's about friendly ghasts. That's great and cute and adorable and all but it raises some questions because of how exactly it works.

so there've been some hints at there being more to Ghasts than we know, from the vestigial gills on their sides, to their constant misery, to the "uneasy alliance" achievement talking about "rescuing them" from the nether and bringing them "home" to the overworld.

This update reveals some crazy stuff about ghasts. Like, you can find these dried out baby ghasts husks near fossils, which come back to life if you soak them in water. Like a tardigrade. They grow over time, and grow faster if you feed them snowballs. Which is weird.

Ghasts grown up in this manner are vulnerable to fire and are unable to shoot fireballs.

What is weirder is that you can craft the little buggers in a crafting table. Out of bone blocks and ghast tears.

Why the hell are these flying ghost balloons made out of bones? Bones that aren't theirs? What the hell are ghast "tears" if they are used to reproduce? If ghasts need water and snow to grow up, how do they keep spreading in the nether?

Are they mechanical? Some consider the Mobeastiary to imply that they are. If so, then what the hell is a ghast tear? If it were artificial, we'd assume that it'd be something one could acquire elsewhere and then use to build a ghast. But no, ghasts are the main if not only source of ghast tears in Minecraft, and it takes more tears to make a baby ghast than you can harvest from a grown-up ghast.

Are they undead? The wither doesn't attack them, so, maybe! I mean apparently they're made of bones so this seems entirely reasonable to me! But no! If they were undead, then healing potions would kill them!

Are they alive? You can make them on a goddamned crafting table. Out of bones. YOU tell ME if it's alive.

The ghast tears are used to make potions of regeneration. Which seems out of place. But you wanna know something about happy, healthy ghasts that get raised with water? When they fly to Y195, they just get the regeneration status effect! What the fresh hell is this!

They need water to function! There is no water in the nether! What is bringing the ghasts to life?

My going theory is that they're some kind of colony coral-like creature that nests in and dissolves bones into a stretchy gelatinous mass that they then inflate with some buoyant gaseous byproduct of the reaction, and that they usually need to be submerged in water for this. The "tears" are actually the living organism, and the ghast we know is just a puppet. Like a tardigrade or one of those frozen arctic worms, a ghast "tear" colony can remain dormant for decades or even centuries before being revived. Somehow, something in the nether is co-opting this process. Maybe if they wind up "infesting" wither skeleton bones by accident their husk winds up animating on its own, consumed by infernal malevolence? It'd explain the explosive breath and the indifference of withers, but if that were the case, I'd expect it to inflict the wither effect instead of just fire. Maybe they wind up using lava or volcanic fumes or nether rack or soul sand instead of water to catalyze the process, which would explain the flammability and irritability, but not anything else.

The "ghast warn" sound name might imply that the ghasts don't want to kill you at all and are giving you a heads up to dodge their body's attacks, potentially adding credence to the wither possession theory, or perhaps they're just making a threat display.

Anyway. These freaking things. Freaking weird.

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 37 ramble

coming at you live from NEW YORK CITYYYYY (i'm not enjoying it)

anyway ok so i think the error case numbers are the ones with sam so i am hoping this one has sam so i can be right

I'M RIGHT 🙏🙏

who took care of celia when she went through the portal i wonder

like it had to have been someone right

anyway i love you georgie barker from tma i love you

sam is so harmless LMAO

i notice she's calling the archivist it instead of he now

AWWW GEORGIE IS THE SWEETEST IN THE WORLD 😭😭😭😭 KINDEST WOMAN IN EVERY UNIVERSE

wait if we see georgie's h MELAAKE I WAS RIGHT ON IT

I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO SAY ARE WE GETTING MELANIE

"my better half" remembering "she is far too good for me and i only hope she doesn't realize while there's an apocolypse on" 🥀🥀🥀

already tearing up i missed melanie king so bad basira please be next

oh hey archivist

what in the world is happening this is not how it usually takes statements or trauma or whatever we're calling them now

BULLYING STATEMENT AGAIN i like these a lot not like i like bullying i just think they have a good message and we didn't get ones like these in tma

THE PARENTS SAYING THAT??? NOOO THEY DO NOT CARE

i'm worried this is gonna make me worse

eating disorders in the content warnings i might actually need to skip the statement 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

i hate men :( this poor girl oh my god oh my GOD 'it looks like me' honey

this one will NOT be deeply analyzed so sorry 🥀🥀

so rustyquill writers um. i needed to read the content warnings.

melanie hurry up

'i just want to be seen' hehjidrjhbhrh????2)$$heiuwhheVvv????)huisue ?????? was this taken from my 5th grade diary dawg

MELANIEEEEEE MELANIE MELANIE MELANJE KICKING MY FEET GIGGLING CRYING BAWLING SOBBING WEEPING I LOVE YOU I LOVEYOU I LOVE YOU I LVOE

cold or hot i'm cackling

i actually am crying out loud this whiplash isn't okay guys

melanie i missed you so bad i missed you i missed you

damn no cell service

MELANIEEEEE MENTIONING SMIRKE'S ok when are they gonna connect the celias being the same celia

samama finally asking the right questions

"how" don't talk to me melanie do not say his name i'll kill myself

MAGNUS INSTITUTE sam you did NOT know it bro please

shaking trembling fearful scared terrified weeping bawling crying

DON'T TALK ABOUT JONMARTIN PLEASE PLEASE

SHUT THE FUCK UP

lost some friends i'm beating you to death

OH WHAT OMG??? WHATTT THAT'S ACTUALLY INSANE POST CANON EXPLANATION

ok so the domains didn't stay but everything fell apart because of the disappearances this is so fucking sick this is genius i love

oooh interesting

i like the mass murdering of evil authority we need this now 🙏 (in minecraft)

a british guy with a posh accent leave me alone i'm on the floor they don't blame jon THEY DON'T BLAME JON PLEASE SOMEONE TELL HIM PLEASE I'M BREAKING DOWN PLEASE HE NEEDS TO KNOW IT WAS NEVER HIS FAULT

so the domains DID pollute some areas ok that's interestinggggggg this is so fucking cool guys

need someone to do this to our world minus the trauma

ewwww law LMAO

"listened to weird horror stories" sure man

oh melanie 😭😭 melanie 😭😭😭

awe georgie

IT'S NOT HIM SHUT UP LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE IT'S NOT IT CAN'T BE

sam is the target of this archivist please don't deny it you will only make it worse

BASIRA AND GERTRUDE 🙏🙏

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF HE ENCOUNTERED OTHER SAM??? WOULD THAT BE LIKE WORLD ENDING?????

oh LMAO okay

so sarcastic for what

ALICE DYER no better half she's dating gwen in my canon okay they're just good friends

what about celia gang

NOOOOO MELANIE SHE'S SO PISSED bye guys

oh that was a trauma response if i've ever heard one melanie i'm so sorry

[magixfairyix]

Driven (Darcy x Riven) Incorrect Quotes 01

Within the Happy AU where The Trix heal in Lightrock after the Ancestors are nuked after Magical Adventure. The Winx and Trix get along.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Riven: Darcy, you love me, right? 

Darcy: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Riven: Ow! 

Darcy: What’s wrong? 

Riven: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow. 

Darcy: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Riven: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere* 

Darcy: ... Where did you get that? 

Riven: My pocket. 

Darcy: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket? 

Riven, shrugs: Skills.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

[Driven after Darcy said that she hates a food that happens to be one of Riven's favourites]

Riven: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm. 

Darcy: That is not something you actually have installed. 

Riven: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

Darcy: Riven

Riven:

Darcy, trying not to laugh: You-

Riven: BWWAAAAAAAAAA!

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Riven: Quacking in my boobs over this

Riven: QUAKING*

Riven: BOOTS* FUCKER.

Darcy: HA

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Riven: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? 

Helia: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? 

Brandon: Ya know... it might be.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

*Riven and Darcy playing minecraft* 

Riven: Oh no, oh no, oh no- 

Darcy: What’s wrong? 

Riven: I did a thing. 

Darcy: You regret the thing you dID- 

Riven: *screams* 

Darcy: What the fuck did you do- *sees mass of aggravated Piglin* Damn it- 

Riven: *screams again*

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: What's two plus two? 

Riven, drunk as hell: Math. 

Darcy: ...I will accept that answer.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

*at 3am* 

Stormy: *runs into Riven's room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead! 

Riven: *wakes up* Dude! 

Stormy: *cackles* 

Darcy: *sits up from where they were sleeping behind Riven * What the fuck, Stormy? 

Stormy: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT-

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Brandon: Ooh, somebody has a crush 

Riven: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Darcy I just think she's cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about her. 

*Later that night* 

Riven, very much awake: Uh oh.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Riven: Darcy kissed me! 

Brandon: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! 

Riven: It was unbelievable! 

Brandon: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! 

Timmy: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Brandon, get the wine and unplug the phone. Riven, does this end well or do we need tissues? 

Riven: Oh, it ended very well. 

Brandon: Do not start without me! Do not start without me! 

Timmy: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing? 

Riven: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it. 

Timmy: Ohh... So, okay, was she holding you? Or were her hands on your back? 

Riven: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair. 

Brandon and Timmy: Ohhh. 

*meanwhile* 

Darcy eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed him. 

Icy: Tongue? 

Darcy: Yeah. 

Stormy: Cool.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Bloom: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room. 

Darcy: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you. 

*Riven walks in* 

Darcy: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Riven: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box. 

Timmy: Did Darcy say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'? 

Riven: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Darcy: Hey, wanna take a shower with me? 

Riven: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Darcy, blushing:

Riven: Are you good, babe?

Darcy: UhuhI'mFine. Totally fine. WhyWouldYouAsk?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

[the-crimson]

Ok I have thoughtsssss on the Dapper lore we just got.

I 100% believe the feds are coercing Dapper to mass produce these op health swap/regen potions for them - for a number of reasons.

First off, we need to go back to the convo Dapper had with Bad a week? Ago about keeping secrets. This was before Dapper started acting really weird and secretive. During that conversation, Dapper - to me - felt scared. At the time I assumed it was because they were afraid Bad would be upset at them for keeping secrets but now I think it was because Dapper was terrified of the secret he was keeping, that the Feds have commanded them to figure out a way of mass producing this Soul Vulture potion. It was only after Bad assured Dapper that he trusts them that Dapper started going all in on this mystery. She had gotten permission/reassurance from her dad that he believes in her and trusts her to do the right thing.

Now why would the federation ask an egg to do their dirty work? Easy. The eggs are so much more vulnerable that the players. The federation most likely created them so they probably have actual leverage or sway of some kind over the eggs but also think about what Dapper has to lose? Pomme, Ramon, Richas, all of their siblings in addition to threats to imprison or hurt Bad and Baghera. There is so much leverage the Feds have over Dapper it’d be easy to black mail him into compliance. Additionally, no one would expect the eggs to turn like this. The eggs are incredibly loyal and most hate the federation as much as their parents. It would be easy to get the egg to work for the feds without tipping off any of the islanders.

Even more damningly, Dapper is the most knowledgeable person on the island when it comes to mobs and has extensive knowledge of create machines. Dapper is the perfect person to learn how to mass produce the Soul Vulture’s corrupted form that produces the hearts necessary to make the potion in addition to building a create machine to mass produce the potion itself. Dapper has the perfect combination of knowledge that makes them the only person for this job.

On top of all of that, Dapper has Soul Vultures in the lab (thank you Minecraft subtitles XD). Soul Vultures are only found in the nether. We know the Feds have access to spawn eggs for nether mobs thanks to the mob Dapper asked for in the Zoo project and the only other way would be going into the nether yourself which we know thanks to Forever’s portal is incredibly dangerous and chaotic. I highly doubt Dapper was making solo trips into the nether this whole time trying to find the Soul Vulture without Bad finding out. It’s much more likely to me that the federation gave Dapper spawn eggs - or even the mobs themselves- so that Dapper could breed them and experiment on them.

Then on top of all of this, Dapper has been blatantly lying to Bad’s face because what else can she do? Dapper knows they aren’t fooling Bad but what are they supposed to do? They are being black mailed and can’t tell anyone without the feds threatening to take away everyone Dapper loves. Of course the only thing they can do is lie knowing Bad will see right through it and hope that Bad won’t interfere (or will and help Dapper get out of this) I thought the bald face lying was so odd but Dapper being black mailed makes everything make sense because at that point, lying was all Dapper could do even if there was no way anyone would believe them.

But there you have it. That’s all the evidence I can think of off the top of my head just from memory. Hopefully we’ll get a stream tomorrow but until then, I cry T-T

(I can’t remember if the Soul Vulture was the second spawn egg the feds gave Dapper/Bad for the zoo but if that is the case, then the feds gave Dapper the egg knowing what it could be used for and the black mail scheme unfolds the same)

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

minecraft doesnt need to be a fucking multimedia franchise, it doesn't even need anymore games than one, there's no fucking point to it, nobody gives a shit about minecraft dungeons, since when was the last time you saw someone go "oh wow, i cant wait for the next minecraft dungeons update" and there's even more minecraft spinoffs that nobody gives a shit about, i cant even remember the name of the latest one because it died so quickly

and now they're making a minecraft movie, and it's live action, which makes no sense but i guess making it animated wouldnt have a mainstream appeal and they need dat money from da masses. and they're having fucking jack black in it. and it's just. please. stop. you couldve made a movie about something original and interesting but instead you need to make a fucking minecraft movie.

i feel similarly about the mario movie and the fnaf movie but like, at least with those games it makes sense. mario games have plot even if simple, and fnaf has a plot even if it's a bad and confusing one. minecraft is a fucking sandbox game with no characters or plot going on unless you're matpat or something. it has fucking nothing. they're making a movie out of fucking nothing. they might as well be making a fucking live action tetris movie.

you know, it could be good. maybe id even like it. but even if it is, it's just so fucking unnecessary, they could've been making something original but nooooooo original is risky, we need a fucking minecraft movie to bring in those shiny fucking dollars to stuff down our fucking throats and choke on and die.

minecraft isn't designed to be anything other than a single fucking game, but because it's big and owned by microsoft it needs to be fucking everything. there needs to be a minecraft movie, and a minecraft show, and a minecraft branded pencil to stab my minecraft branded eyes out of my minecraft branded eyeholes so i dont have to see anymore fucking minecraft.

and to add to this, even if the minecraft movie is good, it's just such a fucking shame that it had to be minecraft and nothing else had any chance to be made. there's been lots of great movies that the big guys up top only allowed to be made because they're based on popular things. the lego movie for example, the barbie movie too. but it's just so fucking irritating that if any creative wants to actually make a good fucking movie they need to do it through this already popular thing. that's how shit like velma gets made. that show feels like an original show with scooby doo slapped on top of it to grab more attention.

everything needs to be appealing to the masses or it's not even seen as worthy of being made. the only movies worthy of being made and the only shows worthy of being renewed are the ones that ceos think will give them enough money to violently shove down their throat and fill their stomach with, fill their lungs with, fill every crevice of their shriveled old body with until every shit they take is hard and full of bloodsoaked gold coins, and every piss they take is shining gold, and every time they pick their nose they pick out gold.

there's just so little space for original works now.