#How to have a better year

[rosemaryhelenxo]

RHXO Tips - 6 Adventure Activities You Should Try At Least Once In Your Life

Embarking on an adventure is not just about thrills and excitement; it’s about opening up a world of possibilities. From a simple road trip to a bold leap into the unknown, adventures can be life-changing and transformative. More than just stories to tell, adventures can broaden your perspectives and offer opportunities to explore new cultures, cuisines, and activities.  Don’t wait for someday –…

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[choccy-milky]

MC doing what we all wished we could do (aka napping on the floor with ominis )😴💕

[ash-and-starlight]

one day, in a thousand years

[tshortik]

I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️

[archivebottles]

Happy birthday to the most special girl in the universe!! Wanted to try something ambitious and ended up with the biggest comic I've done to date

[lilybug-02]

Wow. That could not have turned out worse.

Part 23 || First || Previous || Next

--Full Series--

This comic will be on Holiday Hiatus this December and January! While on a cliffhanger? What a scam! >:/

[bacchuschucklefuck]

she turns, makes direct eye contact with you, smiles,

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

[thunderc1an]

Hold me one more time, so that I never forget how it felt to hug the sun

[rosemaryhelenxo]

RHXO Tips - Destination Hotspot - The Algarve

The Algarve region in Portugal is a stunning and vibrant place that should be on everyone’s bucket list. From its beautiful beaches to its delicious cuisine, the Algarve region has something for everyone. Whether you’re looking for a relaxing beach holiday or an adventurous European escape, the Algarve should be your next stop. In this blog post, I’m going to run through the five reasons why you…

[lotus-pear]

i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

[sharp-fanged13]

What a wonderful occassion to remember this happened and is canon af:

[cozylittleartblog]

whip you into shape!!

[svnflowermoon]

hey btw before you start being angry at the 10 year old sephora kids and the ipad kids, remember that we should feel bad for them. because the world has failed them. it is not these kids faults that the world is so focused on materialistic things and that their parents don't know how to talk to them. that is the fault of social media and bad parenting. i said what i said.