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flamingwordsinthesky · 2 months

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So this took a while but I finally finished my entry for this SpideyTorch bingo! Honestly it wasn't one at first but seeing as how I was writing a roommate fic (I know, how original) I decided to throw this into the ring. Anyway I also did a little collage for the fic as well.

So please enjoy this fic about Johnny trying to pretend that everything is okay.

***

When Johnny jolted awake he was surrounded by darkness. For a moment, he couldn’t focus on anything other than the feeling of steel cutting through his abdomen, screaming crowds at his fall, and the piles of bodies beneath his feet. Johnny rubbed his wet hands on the bed sheets before realizing that it wasn’t blood, it was cold sweat. He breathed heavily as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

The outline of his dresser, the scattered clothes across his bedroom floor that Johnny hadn’t bothered to clean up. Then he looked at the shadow of his outline in the mirror. The moon shone in bathing Johnny in light that showed his thinner figure, his taunt face, the blonde hair sticking to his sweaty forehead.

How frail he looked in that moment, less strong, barely visible scars hidden in the darkness.

Johnny flipped the covers over and got out of bed, cleaning up his clothes, and then falling to the floor to do push-ups. For every push-up, he imagined every horrifying image falling out and disappearing into the floor. Not keeping track of how many he can do before his arms begin to shake and he collapses onto the floor.

Once he gets a second wind, he gets up from the floor and into the rest of the apartment. Silence, just like when he went to bed. Peter was out doing the Spider-Man thing but Johnny stayed behind. Lying and saying he was going to a party. Really he just wanted to be home alone.

Alone to clean, alone to shower, and alone so he could sleep. But that didn’t help the ache that sat in his chest and stomach. The feeling of sharp steel against his skin, a strong punch against his jaw, the way his neck tingles awaiting a sharp pain, and the squirming of bugs underneath his skin.

Even as he walks around the dark and quiet apartment, apart from the hustle and bustle of the city outside. What used to bring him some comfort brings a sense of the world continuing. Just like it continued without him.

With that thought, Johnny walks into the living room to see the form of a body sleeping on the couch. Johnny stopped before noticing the webbed lining of red spandex and a discarded mask on the side of the couch. There was a shuffle and a snort before the body moved then stilled again.

He could have just left Peter to sleep on the couch for the 4th time that week. Johnny had no real reason to linger, but he did. As he walked closer to the couch, Peter’s peaceful face was illuminated by the street lights outside and the moon.

It always annoyed Johnny how handsome Peter was. Even with a busted lip and a nose that had been broken more than three times, Peter still looked effortlessly handsome and peaceful in his sleep. There was a strand of brown hair that Johnny wished to brush out of his way but his hand stayed at his side. Peter’s breathing was slow and peaceful, his lips parted slightly as he slept.

Johnny put away the thought to kiss those parted, busted lips.

The sight of the blood on Peter’s lip made Johnny’s fingers twitch with a forgotten feeling.

Johnny went to grab a blanket from the linen closet, haphazardly drape it over Peter’s body and head, then went to take a shower.

After his shower, he looked to see it just turning to 7:00 am. The usual time he would be getting up. Instead he got his nicest and cleanest black boxers, one of his many aprons, and put them on.

For breakfast Johnny used the last of their eggs and milk to make simple scrambled eggs with some toast. As he got the pan and ingredients ready, he kept an eye on Peter on the couch, still sleeping, still snoring slightly.

He could have gotten Peter up himself, but where was the fun in that? There was a part of Johnny that enjoyed seeing Peter stumble and fall. The way his eyebrows furrowed and his lips went thin and downturned. Johnny couldn’t help but find it cute. Johnny used to imagine kissing that frown away alone, sometimes he’d just annoy Peter to get him to make that face.

And Johnny found out quickly that getting dressed in his apron and boxers while cooking breakfast was the new annoying thing he could do. Then again Peter never asked Johnny to put on clothes. Even when he shrieked the first time he caught Johnny doing just that. In truth he just didn’t feel like wearing clothes that day. It was muggy and all his clothes felt too heavy to wear.

Peter made a noise from the other room and Johnny bit down his smile.

“Mornin’ Sunshine!” Johnny called as he heard a loud yawn. Some smacking of lips. A whispered swear. And then scrambling of feet into the other room. Johnny tried not to laugh.

Peter almost flew out of his bedroom, tie still undone, suit still slightly wrinkled, and spidey suit still visible underneath the suit. Peter tried to brush past Johnny and out the door but instead turned around and ran back to the kitchen table where the food had been just set.

He looked at Johnny, eyeing him up briefly before sitting down and eating his breakfast.

“What? No ‘Good morning sweetheart?’ not even a morning kiss?” Johnny joked as he sat down at the table. He got a glare from Peter then.

“I don’t kiss people who make me late for work.” Peter said in between a mouthful of eggs. As if Peter would ever kiss him. Johnny rolled his eyes as he began to dig into his own breakfast. Even before Johnny’s coffee was half way empty, Peter was done and wiping the crumbs off his suit.

“You’re not gonna be late. Can’t you just swing your way to work? You did say it’s faster than the subway.”

“I don’t have time for this. I’ll see you later.” Peter said, his eyes avoiding Johnny’s direction. His face looked slightly flush and his lips doing the thin downward turn. Johnny smiled as he sipped his coffee.

“We need milk and eggs.” Johnny yelled at Peter who was out the door the second his plate was in the sink. Not even bothering to clean it up.

Typical Parker Johnny thought as he continued to eat his breakfast.

Once Johnny was done, he cleaned up, got dressed, and realized he had nothing to do that day. He didn’t really have anything to do. The Future Foundation was still working out if they should bring back the Fantastic Four.

But even if they did, Johnny still was unsure if he should join. He knew his family would accept him back with open arms. But even then he was two years older, even coming back made him closer in age to all of them. But it still didn’t feel like he was on their level. At least not like it used to be.

Instead of dwelling on that feeling, Johnny distracted himself with chores. Cleaning the apartment was done within two hours and he started playing video games. Once the games got too repetitive and unengaging. He went out for a walk.

The city of New York welcomed Johnny back with open arms, but outside a few fans stopping him to get pictures, another store scrambling to get rid of their spidey merch in favor of Johnny’s return, it didn’t feel right.

He was right back where he started. Just the flashy golden boy of New York City. Another celebrity superhero with more tabloids than Tony Stark. It was almost as if no one seemed to care that he had spent years of his life fighting, surviving, and overthrowing a tyrant.

Two months for them. He was only gone for two months. It was hard to remind himself about that.

Johnny returned home without the milk and eggs. Leaving that chore to Peter. He texted Peter quickly and saw that no one had messaged him. Not any of his old buddies, not Wyatt, not even Sue.

Johnny pulled up Sue’s messages and was tempted to just check in. But her last message was a simple “Good night and stay safe” from the other night.

He sighed, sent the message to Peter, and shucked his clothes off.

Johnny crawled into bed, not tired but unwilling to stay awake. He surrounded himself in the blanket as if the room was freezing, despite that having not been an issue for him since the cosmic radiation. He laid there for what felt like hours before Johnny’s eyes grew heavy and he closed them.

Wishing for a dreamless nap.

In the arena the screaming crowds chant and cheer as Johnny watches another fighter fall to the ground. Burned to a crisp. Johnny remembers the smell of burning flesh and it makes him want to hurl. But he held it in. He’s a champion, he needs to show it. No fear. No mercy. Even if he can never unsee the piles of bodies at his feet.

He looks up to see the bug tyrant himself, Annihilus, staring down at him, unamused. Johnny flipped him off, a gesture Annihilus learned was rude and snapped his fingers. There was a clanking of chains and rumble steel against steel. Johnny looked behind him as the large metal door slid up to reveal the darkness. Darkness he knew contained Annihilus’ abomination. A creature of arms, legs, stitched together and lumbering. Its shape large and imposing, it was almost like a dragon as its multiple yellow eyes set their sights on Johnny. It’s multiple hands opening like a flower to reveal the skull of a once living lizard like creature that still opened it’s only mouth to growl at Johnny

Johnny backed away as the creature dragged itself out with large claws of alien creatures he couldn’t even begin to explain. Reed always had a better way to describe things than Johnny. He missed Reed so much and his ready explanations for everything. Not this creature that Johnny could barely comprehend just by looking at it. It had no mouth yet it could still speak.

Johnny hated when it spoke.

Because it had no voice of its own. The voices that came out of the creature were various harsh imitations of his friends, family, and past lovers. Johnny could barely think of shooting his fire at it. A large claw slammed close to him and he shouted “FLAME ON!”

He fought the creature, even as it spoke insults with its stolen voices.

“Worthless brat” Ben’s voice growled out of it. Johnny aimed for one of the creature's eyes.

“Ungrateful!” Sue’s voice screamed as the creature backed away after having some of their eyes burned out.

“Useless” Reed’s voice came out like he was so disappointed. That made Johnny falter for a moment before he remember what it was doing.

More insults emanate from the creature, every person Johnny had ever loved called him worse and worse things before finally his flame flickered out. The creature took its large claws to capture Johnny and bring it to his face.

The final voice that emanated made Johnny shake, his eyes wide and he wished that the creature would just eat him already.

“You were never worthy of love” Peter’s voice was cold. Johnny knew it was true, but he screamed anyway as the creature tore him apart.

“JOHNNY!” Peter’s shout woke him up as he shot up awake. Johnny tried to find his bearing, feeling his body still intact. No bugs, not gore, no left over blood. Just Johnny’s beating heart and a strong grip on his shoulders.

As Johnny calmed down, he noticed that Peter was holding him, on his bed, and looking like he found Johnny dead. His brown eyes filled with worry yet relief as he told Johnny to breathe. Comforting him with words of It’s okay. You’re alright. You’re okay.

But the nightmare’s final words are ringing in his head. It was so perfectly Peter’s voice that it almost scared him. He couldn’t shake how easy it was for him to believe the words of a monster he never fought said to him.

He can still feel sharp claws digging and tearing his flesh apart.

“Y’good?” Peter asked as Johnny finally began to breathe again.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m good. Just….a nightmare. That’s all.” Johnny said with a half-hearted smile.

Peter was silent as he eyed Johnny. Rubbing his shoulders and looking at him with such an intense look. Johnny could not distinguish what he must have been thinking.

Another moment before Peter responded.

“You’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately.”

“Great observation, Sherlock.” Johnny said with more bite than intended. Peter let go and Johnny removed himself from the bed to get up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Peter asked, his voice unsure and cautious. Johnny simply scoffed at the question.

“Just a nightmare Peter. Nothing to talk about.”

“Nothing to talk about? This is the fifth time this week I’ve heard you screaming. You party, come home, then I have to hear you scream late at night.”

“Oh? You sure I wasn’t screaming for a different reason?” Johnny asked with anger, looking at a standing Peter, his tie undone and his dress shirt unbuttoned a little at the top. He must have just gotten home.

“Johnny that’s not funny. I’m worried about you.” Peter said but Johnny’s annoyance didn’t falter.

Peter took a deep breath as he walked over to Johnny’s side of the room. But Johnny didn’t feel like talking. He didn’t feel like sharing a pain Peter could never understand. No one could ever understand what he had to do. If he told Peter everything he did while in the Negative Zone, Peter just might not like him anymore.

“Johnny.”

“It’s fine. It was just a nightmare. Nothing to worry about.” Johnny reassured Peter, but the worry didn’t leave his eyes.

“Johnny.” Peter’s voice was firm and a hand reached to touch Johnny.

“It’s fine! How many times do I have to say it? I’m fine! 100 percent! I’m the golden boy of New York City! There’s nothing to worry about!” Johnny’s defensiveness even shocked him for a moment. Peter retracted his hand but didn’t stop looking worried about Johnny.

He hated how worried Peter looked.

“Don’t lie to me.” Peter said, his voice a slight wobble to it. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying! I’m fine! What is this? An interrogation? You're gonna ask where I was yesterday at a certain time? I was out! I was having fun! I even made out with a few people! See! I’m the good ol’ Johnny Storm again!” Johnny was flailing his arms and stepped away from Peter.

“Johnny please. Just tell me what’s going on. What happened? What are these nightmares?” Peter tried to touch him again but Johnny brushed past him.

Peter tried to talk to Johnny as he got dressed, he couldn’t be here. Not right now. He couldn’t stand to see Peter worry about him. It hurt when Sue asked about the nightmares. But he can’t let anyone know. Johnny needed everyone to stop worrying. It's clear they just want things to go back to normal.

Or maybe, he just wants things to go back to normal.

“Johnny! Stop ignoring me! Tell me what’s going on!” Peter shouted as Johnny started putting his shoes on.

“There’s nothing to talk about webhead.” Johnny’s voice was firm and devoid of feeling.

“There’s plenty to talk about!” Peter said as he tried to grab Johnny’s arm but he pulled away.

“I said there’s nothing to talk about. You’re making a big deal out of nothing! I’m fine!” Johnny said as he slammed the door in Peter’s face as he left. Once outside the apartment building, Johnny turned on his flames and flew.

He flew and flew and flew across the sky of New York City. No destination in mind. He wanted to feel the air and wind rush past him. Ignoring the phantom pains of steel, claws, large hands breaking his neck. So much pain that his skin itched.

His powers were beginning to fade and soon Johnny landed on the side of a random skyscraper. He didn’t know where he was but the sight of the Baxter Building in the far distance made him huff. He hadn’t seen any of the four in a few days. They text him from time to time. But even they knew to leave him alone.

Yet he didn’t want to be alone. But alone seemed safe, seemed comfy.

He convinced himself it’s where he needed to be.

Johnny turned to face away from the building to watch the sun sink into the horizon. He remembers the first time he saw the sun rise when he returned home. He was awake from another nightmare and refused to go back to sleep. So he watched the sunrise alone on top of the Baxter Building. He remembered the tears that fell from his face and the great relief that he could see such a sight. Something he missed desperately for two years.

That morning Ben made breakfast. Sue helped catch up with what Johnny had missed during the two months. And Reed smiled at him and patted his shoulder as he gave Johnny coffee.

It was a warm and friendly feeling.

But the dread never went away.

The dread that none of it was real, that he would blink and Johnny would wake up back in the Negative Zone, the last few months being nothing more than a peaceful dream for an undying champion. It never came, he was still on Earth, in his home.

But that dread clings to him, clings to his soul and turns his stomach at the very possibility that none of this was real.

Thwip.

Thud

“Johnny?”

Johnny didn’t turn around. He knew who it was but he didn’t want to see his friend.He didn’t want to see anyone. There were footsteps that crunched against the rooftop before Spider-Man placed himself over the same building edge as Johnny then and there.

The last of the sun’s rays set over the river as the city lights slowly came to life.

They sat there in silence, listening to the sounds of the city with the lights illuminated underneath them. Car horns and laughing chorus underneath their feet. Johnny let the silence embrace him, Trying to ignore the body heat of Spider-Man close to him. His pinky just inches away from touching Johnny’s own.

Johnny did take a glance at Spider-Man at his side and saw Peter remove his mask. The other man took a deep breath before exhaling, then glanced at Johnny. Catching his eye for a moment before looking out into the city.

“When Gwen died, I used to have nightmares about it,” Peter said suddenly “It was like replaying that moment over and over again.” Peter said, solemnly and Johnny gripped the side of the half wall, his hands and fingers getting scratched by gravel.

“Then the nightmares kept getting worse. Sometimes Gwen would come back, and ask me why I let her die? Why didn’t I try something else?”

“Pete-”

“I realized, all she was doing was asking questions I ask myself every time I think of her.” Peter said as he leaned forward slightly, “But Gwen, My Gwen, the Gwen I remember? She wouldn’t have done that. I had to remind myself that she wouldn’t have blamed me for what happened. Even if I do from time to time.”

Silence again. Johnny watched as Peter’s eyes glazed over, as if he was focusing on a memory. He knew Gwen was a touchy subject. Johnny had only seen Gwen from time to time, even tried to hit on her once. She slapped him and walked away and Johnny never met a more beautiful girl.

He knew then how lucky Peter was to have someone like Gwen in his life. One night Peter had even told Johnny he was going to marry her.

Then she was gone.

Then Peter was Spider-Man.

And suddenly it all made sense.

“It’s funny. I don’t really have those nightmares anymore.” Peter said suddenly to break Johnny out of his own head. “I usually have the usual nightmares. Naked in front of the Avengers. Being late for High School even though I’m almost 30. Y’know. Typical stuff.”

“But the Gwen nightmares?” Johnny asked.

“I don’t have them as much.” Peter said with a sigh, sitting up straight and looking to the sky.

That’s when Johnny felt the groves of Peter’s webbed gloved hand cover then held his hand.

“I know it’s really cheesy to say, but it does get better. Yes, there are somethings in this life that we'll never get over. But we can still find good reasons to stay alive. We have our family, friends, and the people we love.” Peter squeezed Johnny’s hand. “And I just want you to know, I care about you. A lot. So I hate seeing you like this.”

“Peter?” Johnny’s voice cracked out, As Peter leaned in closer, Brown eyes on the verge of tears. Johnny's free hand reacted by holding the side of Peter’s face, his left thumb rubbing against flushed cheek. Peter leaned into his touch and Johnny couldn’t believe this was real.

“I can free up my schedule tomorrow. We can do whatever you want, racing, pick out a car, go visit the Four, you name it. Except maybe going clubbing. You know what? Screw it, we can go clubbing if you want.” Peter rambled with a dopey smile only reserved for Black Cat and when he was talking about Mary Jane Watson. But this one was for Johnny.

“You talk too much,” Johnny said as he leaned in closer.

“I’ve been told.” Peter retorted as he closed his eyes.

That's when a bomb downtown went off.

Ah. New York. Home of more supervillains than cops. They both let out a large and begrudged sigh. Peter putting on the mask and Johnny summoning his rejuvenated flames. The Human Torch and Spider-Man, together again. Off to fight a criminal and save the people.

When Peter sent their apartment door flying, Johnny knew Peter was panicking. One lucky stab wound on his side and Peter was acting as if Johnny was dying. It would be amusing if he could get the webslinger to calm down a little.

As Johnny laid out on the couch and held his side, blood seeped through the fabric of a spare t-shirt Peter had on hand. He watched as Peter disappeared to find the First aid kit. Johnny just rolled his eyes and removed the shirt and used his heat to help close the wound, blood boiling away removed the shirt to take off the top part of his suit before Peter came back in.

With a first aid kit in hand, Peter started cleaning and taking care of Johnny’s stab wound. All Johnny could do was watch as Peter took his time cleaning, stitching, then bandaging the wound. Yet Johnny couldn’t ignore how Peter was touching him far more than he needed to. His cool hands tracing Johnny’s abs and sides. Johnny almost forgot how to breath as Peter finished the bandaging and looked at him, with sad brown eyes but a relieved smile.

“Good as new.” Johnny joked as Peter laughed slightly.

“Any other pain I should know about?” Peter asks, his hand still on Johnny’s chest, right where his heart should be. Johnny just hoped that Peter didn’t feel how fast it was going.

Johnny shook his head.

“You healed me nurse. Maybe you should kiss it better too.” Johnny joked again and Peter simply rolled his eyes. What Johnny had expected was Peter to get up and leave now that he was okay.

What Peter did shocked him more than the stab wound to his side. Peter leaned up and kissed Johnny’s forehead, then placed his own forehead against Johnny’s. He stayed like that for a moment, long enough to make Johnny forget how to breathe.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” Was all Peter said before leaving Johnny’s side. The lack of another’s body heat made Johnny shiver for only a moment. As Peter was about to disappear into his room, Johnny got up from the couch and made a mad dash to Peter.

Thinking about the -almost- kiss before the fight. How soft Peter looked at him in that moment before the bomb went off. How the feeling of Peter’s lips lingered on Johnny’s skin. Before Peter could say anything, Johnny grabbed Peter’s suit and pulled him for a quick but aggressive kiss. One that Johnny had been holding back for far too long.

Once Johnny pulled away, Peter looked dazed but there was a smile on his face. Johnny kept him close as he wrapped his arms around Peter’s neck.

“Now that’s a thank you I can get used to.” Peter said before kissing Johnny again. Peter kissed Johnny like he missed him, like he cared for him, and almost as if he loved him. But Johnny put that thought away and kissed Peter back with as much devotion as he could.

“I don’t want to sleep alone tonight” Johnny confessed as Peter held him close and kissed his neck. Soon Peter pulled Johnny into his bedroom, where they stayed the rest of the night.

In the morning Johnny woke up to Peter, lying next to him, still in his spidey suit, his arms wrapped around Johnny’s naked torso. They’d cuddled most of the night, talking about nothing and simply holding each other until they both fell asleep. It was more than Johnny could ask for, he had no nightmares that night, just a simple dream of riding the coastline in his nicest Impala, with Peter at his side, standing and shouting to the wind. Without a care in the world.

When he woke up, Peter was still asleep, his face could almost be described as peaceful. Were it not for the slight frown on Peter’s face. Johnny couldn’t help but giggle, actually giggle, at the sight. Only Peter could still look a little mad in his sleep.

There were strands of brown hair that curled at the ends along Peter’s forehead. So Johnny brushed them gently out of Peter’s face, before leaning up to kiss his cheek. Peter made a noise and moved slightly before pulling in Johnny closer. Close enough that Johnny’s nose was almost touching Peter’s own.

He leaned up to kiss Peter on his lips, chaste but loving. It was enough to wake Peter who kissed him back. With a simple push Johnny was on his back as Peter continued to kiss Johnny’s face. From his forehead, to his chin, and even his eyelid. Johnny laughed before Peter finally kissed his lips.

When Peter pulled away, Johnny let out a simple sigh, keeping his eyes closed as graceful fingers traced the outside of Johnny’s face.

“How’s that for a morning kiss?” Peter asked while letting his fingers comb through Johnny’s hair.

“Hmm. It’s okay.” Johnny said with a wide grin that made Peter roll his eyes. “Maybe give me another one?”

So Peter did, better than their first and the ones they shared now. Each kiss feeling like Johnny could float off into space and be at peace. Someone who made him feel safe, and someone who could kiss away the nightmares. It was all Johnny wanted.

#spideytorch bingo 2024 #spideytorch #peterjohnny #johnnypeter #spider man #the human torch #my fic writing #comics #I'll probably edit it later and post to a03 after some editing #but I'm glad it's done.#I do appreciate any feedback you guys have #fantastic four #peter parker #johnny storm

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