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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Gabrielle’s Hope

I have been working on this for months now. Months! Hope was born, became a toddler, and killed a man in less time. I’ve got so many goddamn thoughts about this episode, to the degree that I keep losing all sense of the thing in my efforts to get it all in. This is now the fourth time I’ve scrapped what I had to start fresh, and I am going to make every effort to make sure it’s my last. It may not come out exactly as I hoped, but it’ll be OUT, which is more than I had when I started.

Our sponsor for this Xenafied journey to The Bitter Suite, the infinitely patient @bardofsomerset, had a few key areas they wanted me to focus on for this episode. I SWEAR MY TEN PAGES OF NOTES AND I ARE GOING TO TRY TO STICK TO THEM.

So without YET MORE delay, let’s get into Gabrielle’s Hope, the most on-the-nose name ever given a supernaturally advanced child fathered by a being of absolute evil.

Before we get into the areas Neet pointed me -- hahahah ALREADY I’M GOING OFF-SCRIPT AMAZING -- I want to take a sec to acknowledge how I always forget this episode exists.

Which is RIDICULOUS. This episode is absolutely critically VITAL, not just for this plotline for our characters. It lays all the emotional groundwork as we round the corner from the old trauma and head toward the new. We establish the beats we’ll revisit for Xena and Gabrielle’s fallout. We get more than enough reason for the audience (and Xena) to question Hope. We have Gabrielle at her most cunning and actively working against Xena which not only gives us Gabby’s state of mind but pre-establishes her capability for the things to come. And then of course there’s the actual plot mechanism that removes Hope from the picture for now so we can thrust her back again when it’s most devastating.

HOPE IS BORN IN THIS EPISODE FOR FUCK’S SAKE A LOT HAPPENS AND IT’S KINDA IMPORTANT

I know all this! Still, I manage repeatedly to forget the episode exists. I just sort of attribute the important parts to other episodes I think, and gloss right over this whole banshee/knights/mountain chase stuff. It’s hilarious, but also I think a consequence of how the episode IS so dense. It feels like at least three episodes are crammed into this one, and so my memory insists it must be. Rewatching it for this, then, was an unexpected surprise, as I’m sitting there almost constantly like “Oh, shit, does that happen now? And that? That too??” IT WAS WEIRD

So there are three key questions we’ll address today, as I continue to do battle with what my memory keeps erroneously insisting was the order of events:

Was Hope born evil, or could she have been saved?

Why does everyone take the stance they do regarding Hope?

How is Gabrielle responding to the trauma of the previous episode?

#3, we can sum up easily enough with “POORLY”. The more nuanced answer actually relates more to #2 though, so hold that thought until we get there, as first we ask:

Was Hope born evil, or could she have been saved?

I cannot begin to tell you guys how much I’ve thought about this question. This is some philosophical and psychological shit right here, and I don’t think we can conclusively, canonically, answer it one way or the other. I don’t even really know what my OWN answer is, and like I said, I’ve been mulling it over for MONTHS. So fuck it, I guess kick back and grab a beer and let’s go wander down some rabbit holes.

Let’s start with how we have the absolutely inescapable fact that Hope killed a dude. She’s between 12 hours and 18 months old, and she strangled a bitch TO DEATH. It’s murder! It’s kinda fucked up!

But also, how much can we hold Hope to account for that? Even given the magical aging, she’s what, two years old? I am absolute shit at baby ages, but even if we double that, she’s STILL a goddamn baby. Can you hold her morally accountable for strangling Goewin? How about if she kept crying every fifteen minutes and waking someone up, which is an actual factual torture tactic? BECAUSE MIDGE HAS DONE THIS AND I DON’T HAVE THE HAGUE ON SPEED DIAL

For an infant to strangle a conscious able-bodied grown man to death, there's likely some supernatural element involved, I’d think. If nothing else, THE MUSCLE CONTROL NECESSARY. So is that Hope too, then? Is it Dahak? Is it an impulse? Did she have any measure of conscious, deliberate choice?

And does it MATTER? If we absolve Baby Hope from Goewin’s death, do we do the same if it happens again? How many times is it okay for her to murder someone? When do we decide she’s killed too much? Do we ever? How old must she be before we decide she’s now responsible?

I HAVE NO ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS. I absolutely can’t decide if I think she’s accountable or no. Or, rather, I’m inclined toward saying she isn’t responsible NOW, but when I start trying to drill down when she WOULD be -- as I think one must to have any ground to stand on -- I quickly lose my footing. I can’t definitively draw the lines, and so am forced to wonder if there should be lines drawn at all.

When we meet Hope again, the show doesn’t make it any easier on us. We end things in this episode with Gabrielle outsmarting Xena and letting Hope drift away all Moses-like. Then If I remember right, we don’t see her again until she turns up several episodes from now and kills Solan. Even setting aside the fact that she’s still a child at that point and whether or not she knows right from wrong, the fuck has she been doing? Who took care of her? Did anyone? Did Hope grow in isolation? Did Dahak, in some capacity, raise and provide for her? If so, is any of what she does even her idea?

Without having some sense of these answers, I don’t know that I can do more than blindly speculate on whether or not Hope could have been saved. My gut instinct is to say yes, or that at least it should have been attempted, but then right on the heels of that is all of my above questions and where the lines are, and I immediately reconsider.

LIKE I SAID THIS IS A HARD FUCKING QUESTION

I really don’t know where I fall on it. Which I think is a testament to the idea and its execution, how it’s all so grey and complicated. We’re left to our own devices, how to feel about Hope, and so too how to feel about the actions of Gabrielle and Xena. They’re both wrong, and they’re both right, and that’s a thin, narrow tightrope to walk as we continue toward the inevitable.

Why does everyone take the stance they do regarding Hope?

We have, in this episode, six divisions of “everyone”: the banshee, the villagers, most of the knights, the renegade other knights, and of course, Xena and Gabrielle.

The banshees and the villagers, we can strike easily enough with “because the narrative”. The real conflict here is the nature of good and evil, guilt and innocence, but before we can get into the complicated stuff, we need broad strokes, and that’s what they provide. The villagers want to stop the rise of Dahak, so Hope has to die (and since Hope at this point is in Gabrielle, so does she). The banshees are monsters, they’re Bad Things, and they are 1000% pro-Dahak, so want to shelter and protect Hope/Gabrielle.

Not particularly complicated stuff. Now we have that down, it’s time to cue the knights.

These are sort of proto-Arthurian guys, included partly for a quick sword-in-the-stone joke which isn’t super clever but amuses, so I’ll take it. The other part though is to give the audience something to connect with in terms of trust and authority. The average person is at least passingly aware of King Arthur and regards him as a heroic figure, so tying these knights to him, however loosely, also inclines the audience to believe them, or at least believe that they’re acting in good faith.

And so (mostly), they are, to the point where they themselves are divided about Hope. The majority believe that as the child of Dahak, she is pure evil, and for the sake of the world, must be destroyed. However one of the knights, Goewin, argues that as a literal baby, Hope is innocent and it would be wrong for them to kill her based on what they’re afraid she MAY do. Full credit, Goewin puts his sword where his mouth is, running off with Xena and Gabby and vowing to protect the baby from his former knight-bros if necessary. Sides are declared now, and we’re increasingly unable to sit on the sidelines without also choosing one. The almost-Arthurians have a point, but so too does Goewin. Prophecy and portends all that, yeah, but also THIS IS A LITERAL INFANT. Can we know she won’t choose to do good? Can we run the risk of waiting for her to do evil?

WELL NOT IF YOU’RE GOEWIN I GUESS

It’s a pretty divisive backdrop, setting the stage perfectly for our main characters. Gabrielle, being Hope’s mother, is solidly on team Do Not Murder My Baby. Xena, being Xena, is a bit more Murder Is Sometimes Necessary Like Oh Say Right Now. But it goes deeper than that, of course it does.

In Hope, we have a breaking point, the divide between Xena and Gabrielle consolidated in human form.** She is the extreme of Gabrielle’s insistence in seeing the world in black and white, and the pinnacle failure of Xena’s self-assuredness and authority. But more, she’s the perfect embodiment of Xena and Gabby’s inability to see the worst in the other. This essay question asks why they take the stance they do regarding Hope, and while the answer could be a winding walking path through the forest, you can hop directly to the other end with the magic words, “Because they HAVE to.”

(**) We can then argue that the herald of evil isn’t so much about the evil as it is to turn good against itself, which is far outside the scope of this essay, but interesting as hell, particularly if we frame “good” as multiple parts that must love and understand each other through their differences, an idea that further takes on a visual component in Xena with the Chakram v2.0, BUT DID I MENTION THIS WAS OUTSIDE THE SCOPE OF THIS ESSAY AND I DO NOT WANT TO RESTART IT FOR A FIFTH TIME AND SO WE ARE DROPPING THIS AND MOVING ON NOW

On this question, Gabrielle is really quite simple. She takes the stance she does toward Hope because it’s the one thing that will have made it all worthwhile. Getting snowed under and used by whassisface last episode, killing that girl, being literally impregnated by evil incarnate. Gabrielle can bear the weight of her naivety and the violence done by and to her, if it can mean something GOOD. Then, once she’s made the decision she has about Hope, she has to cling to it with both hands, because if she’s wrong about Hope, who else might she be wrong about?

For Xena, there’s one and only one primary concern: Gabrielle. She will hear absolutely nothing about destroying the baby, entertain no ideas about its inevitable evil, so long as Gabrielle and Hope are a package deal. Even when Hope is born, Xena lets the opportunity to stop Dahak there and then pass her by, effectively losing this battle the second she hands the baby to Gabrielle. Then when Gabby tells Xena not to let the knights hurt Hope, Xena is immediately there, ready to kill every last one of them if necessary.

Wonderful, heart-filling shit here. Xena has Gabrielle’s back always, at all times, and will make every last motherfucker in the ancient world bleed if they so much as look at her wrong. That Gabrielle is all that is good in the world is a given, and anyone suggesting otherwise is going to get the business end of a Warrior Princess. WHICH IS PRECISELY THE PROBLEM. Xena is so desperate for Gabrielle to live in their world without it touching and changing her, that she critically fails them both, not once, or even twice, but FOUR TIMES in this episode.

Firstly, by not being willing to entertain the idea that Gabby’s been fucked up, even when it’s Gabrielle putting the possibility out there. They nail it all EXACTLY at the start of the episode, but rather than talk it through, face the very real possibilities of what’s happened and so are prepared for what may come next, Xena pulls her “I’m the expert here” bullshit and shuts it all down.

And Xena’s not WRONG, exactly, but neither is Gabrielle, and refusing to have a conversation about what happened and how it’s made Gabby feel not only doesn’t help, but actively hurts.

Things escalate, angry villagers, burning people alive, etc. etc., and here’s Xena’s second major fuck up: she ignores everything her brain is telling her about this impossible baby. Gabrielle can’t be pregnant, and if she were she can’t be four months along already, and if she were she can’t be going into labour now. Even without 99% of the almost-Arthurian knights, an entire town of villagers, and a banshee squadron crooning over Gabby establishing a solid foundation from which to doubt, there’s Xena’s VERY OWN INSTINCTS POWERED BY CONCRETE OBSERVATION. At minimum, I’d expect “Let’s get you safely through this and then put our feelings on hold while we figure it out.”

NOPE. Feelings flying fast and furious all over the place, leading us to Xena’s third major fuck up.

Gabrielle needs this, yes, but Xena needs it just as much. She needs Gabrielle to be okay, needs her to hold on to her view of the world and her good nature. She needs Gabrielle TO NOT BE HER. If there’s one thing that I think could send Xena into complete despair, it’s watching Gabrielle consumed by her own hate and turning into someone like Old Xena. Knowing that she didn’t stop it -- worse, walked Gabrielle hand-in-hand down that path -- would absolutely devastate her. I love that cap above as it captures this moment of horror for Xena, where she begins to realize she’s handled this in every wrong way possible and it may already be too late to fix it. Not only may she have to watch Gabrielle lose all hope again, a second blow from which she may not be able to recover, this time it may be Xena who rips it away.

Still though, Xena allows herself to be swayed from action. I don’t even mean not sticking a sword through a baby, but in not counselling, or even insisting, that she and Gabrielle maintain some degree of distance before they have a better idea of what’s going on. Instead, for hours, Gabrielle gets to sit with Hope and hope, further spinning the narrative that this was a good thing, a PURE thing, pouring all her personal redemption into this baby. By the time Xena’s finally ready to voice her concerns, it’s WELL past the point where Gabrielle might have been willing to listen.

AND GABBY ISN’T STUPID. She KNOWS. We know she knows, she voiced her fears with chilling accuracy at the top of the episode. But she’s stuck too, having spent that time rationalizing away all those fears in her own Xena-shaped blind spot.

Gabrielle has never yet been able allowed herself to see just how truly evil Xena was. She knows about Xena’s past intellectually, but emotionally treats it like scary boogeyman fairytales. Xena at her worst isn’t REAL to Gabrielle, and while she gets her first taste in this episode, Bad Xena will remain unreal until The Bitter Suite does what The Bitter Suite does so well. I jump ahead, but just NNNGH SHE KNOWS ALL OF THIS AND MAKES SO MANY ACTIVE CHOICES THAT TURN OUT ABSOLUTELY SHITTY AND I LOVE ALL OF THIS FOR GABRIELLE MY GOD WHAT A FUCKING CHARACTER ARC SHE HAS IN THIS SERIES I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH SO MUCH HARHGHGNGGN

Ahem. Right. Back to Xena. Who fucks up a glorious FOURTH time by believing that Gabrielle finally saw the truth and chucked Hope over the cliff to her death.

XENA PLEASE

God, what an absolutely amazing display of self-sabotaging naivety FROM BOTH OF THEM. They are both DESPERATE to believe this is going to be something they can walk away from unscathed, Xena certain that Gabrielle has once again learned that Xena Is Right (and so Xena can keep protecting her, must protect Gabrielle, nothing matters but Gabrielle), with Gabrielle certain that Goodness Can Win, as Xena has proven, as Hope will prove, so that even if Gabby herself has failed on some level, THEY won’t. Goodness, like so much to Gabrielle, is a flipped switch, rather than an ongoing series of choices continually made.

A lesson she is about to learn in rather alarming fashion.

#jet wolf watches xena #xena 3x05 #a novel by jet wolf #OH MY GOD I'M FINALLY DONE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT #i feel bad for how long this took me #(though i hope it's enjoyed and so worth the work)#so for the next few months i'll double dose my xena liveblogs #next up is the debt two-parter #with the request for a deep dive on both parts #SO EXTRA LIVEBLOG SESSIONS WON'T GO AMISS #anyway i worked so fucking hard on this and am glad to finally have it completed

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cattles-bians · 3 years

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damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

#this one's fucken LONG!!!!!!!!#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

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dancing-the-hellfire-rumba · 4 years

Text

Seen ✓ - 3

Pairing: Sam x Reader Warnings: cursing, a bit of self depreciation Word Count: 2.2k Series Summary: On her way home, Y/n finds an abandoned, cracked phone on the sidewalk. Anxious about the well-being of its owner, she picks it up and texts the first contact she finds; Sam. Beta: None

Part 1 - Part 2 Masterlist

Chapter 3: for the love of god, explain this

Sam Winchester lies awake at three in the morning, under foreign, scratchy sheets, stubbornly not tearing his eyes from the cracked, ugly wallpaper on the ceiling. A lot of things are happening and his brain is going about a million miles an hour, spinning endlessly, Castiel, Dean returning from hell, the stress of the hunting life, the current case and… Y/n. Wonderful, smart, talented, funny Y/n.

It’s been a while since someone has made him excited. He keeps bumping into her in his mind, keeps finding thoughts of her lying around, eager to distract him. He catches himself wanting to text her about every stupid thing that happens in his day, much like she sometimes does. She’s been the only thing that makes his heart a little lighter, and it’s such a strange feeling, someone’s presence being this uplifting.

He was suspicious of her at first. A strange woman (at least she claims to be one, he forgets he’s never actually… seen her) asking about him, his profession, and then about… ghosts? A bit random, too specific, Sam recognizes he got defensive. But the way she spoke afterwards… he doesn’t know. His instinct tells him to trust her.

Amidst his thoughts, he doesn’t remember picking up his phone, but it’s just one of those nights, he needs someone to talk to- or rather, wants Y/n specifically. A thought he chooses not to dwell on.

are you awake? I can’t sleep.

I actually am. Lucky you.

Sam smiles. Lucky me, he thinks.

isn’t it like 4 am for you?

Tell me about it. No luck sleeping either.

happen to you a lot?

Yeah.

I happen to have anxiety induced insomnia.

Working at a bar also helps fuck up your sleeping schedule as well.

You?

i’m sorry :/

i don’t get much sleep either. something always keeps me up.

Yeah, I get that.

Where in the Great Unites States of America are you today?

hahah it’s Oregon today.

it’s the ugliest motel room i’ve ever been in.

Ooh

Do I ask about your case or is it confidential?

it’s confidential but i’ll tell you that i am investigating a bunch of strange murders.

You’re investigating serial killers?? That’s so fucking dope.

something like that yeah.

how was your day?

Oh, you know. The usual.

College assignments, a shift at the bar. I went out with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while.

I need to clean my house desperately.

I also nearly burned my kitchen down trying to cook lunch. Emmy and I ended up eating some lazy-ass spaghetti, because pasta is the only thing I can cook, apparently.

hahahah what were you making?

You’re gonna laugh if I tell you.

well now you must.

Ugh, do I?

come onnn

It was eggs, okay? I was just trying to make eggs.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I TOLD YOU YOU’D LAUGH AT ME

HOW DID YOU BURN EGGS?!

LISTEN, OKAY

I NEVER SAID I WAS A GOOD COOK

HAHAHAHAH

Sam laughs over his phone, as silently as he can, so as to not wake Dean up. He turns on his other side and realizes his cheeks hurt from smiling, and it’s a feeling he’s missed.

Yeah, yeah, laugh, culinary genius. Not all of us can be perfect.

i never said i was a culinary genius

but at least i don’t go near stoves if i don’t have to.

Well, it’s not like I can afford every-day takeout (or like that shit is healthy, even if I could) and someone has to cook for my sister while she’s in school

you have siblings?

and yeah you’re right i didn’t think like that sorry.

It’s okay.

And yeah, my sister, Emily.” Emmy”

oooh i thought emmy was your friend.

Nono, it’s my sister. She’s 17.

can i ask you a personal question?

Shoot

why do you have to take care of her? are your guys’ parents not around?

you don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable with that.

Well, it’s a bit complicated.

My parents’ marriage kind of fell apart when I was around 10. They tried to fix things by adopting a kid- Emily. For a while that worked.

When I was 16 my mom took off and dad took care of us for 2 years almost. He really dedicated himself to us.

He worked his antique shop and supported us. For two years, I didn’t see him spend a penny on himself.

But I ended up having to take care of Em when he passed. I was freshly 18, so I could take care of her as a guardian.

shit i’m so sorry.

It’s okay, honestly.

I mean, it didn’t use to be, and it was hell for a while.

But we made it.

i admire your positivity.

I try :)

i also love that you put smiley faces in your text messages.

Shouldn’t have said that, now I’ll always think about it before I do it

hahah

Sam bites his lip. What the hell is happening? They’re… flirting. Sorta. And it’s nice- better than nice. Fuck.

What about you?

you mean what’s my relationship with my parents?

Well, when you put it like that it sounds stupid. It wasn’t what I was asking either.

What I meant was, how’s your life right now. How’s the family business. You can pick which you wanna answer.

i don’t mind either honestly.

as for my parents my mom died when I was 6 months old. my dad passed away about a year and a half ago.

Jesus, I’m so sorry Sam

I don’t know what to say. It can’t have been easy. Losing a parent never is.

it wasn’t but as you said we’re trying to sort of find our footing with Dean. we’ve had our ups and downs.

Yeah I understand that.

Do you wanna talk about it?

right now not really. I mean there’s not much to say about it.

i kinda wanna forget about it. thanks though.

Alright.

So how’s the family business?

Does it feel good to be paid to be Sherlock Holmes?

crap. but we’re doing our best.

for the record i don’t get paid nearly enough for the shit i have to do.

Hahaha, hang in there.

Dean still refuses to come get his phone?

yeah. he says you can keep it.

Tell him to take care of his devices from now on, this one was battered beyond recognition.

duly noted.

The conversation continued until well after the sun rose. Sam had officially accepted this night to be sleepless, and Y/n was good company. Somehow she took his mind off of everything that was bugging him, made him, if momentarily, forget about it, and he truly loved that about her. The back and forth tended to flow easily between them, and he couldn’t get enough of the chemistry he had with this practical stranger.

Sleepless or not, this night was a good one, after she entered the picture.

The glow on her skin is blue-ish and soft, combatting the one from the fairy lights above them. Laptop absolutely not low in volume, couch dipping under two bodies, slumped together, legs leaning against one another, soft flannel pants and droopy eyes. Emily’s hair is out of its usual half-up hairstyle, exploding with volume and bright, firey color, flowing onto the back of the couch.

Jon Snow is yelling on the screen, and Y/n is completely ignoring him, constantly checking her inactive phone and the way the screen doesn’t light up with Sam’s name. Every time she feels disappointed, she tries to quell the relentless thoughts of the possibility of him being completely over her.

Damn it.

“Do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend I’m not aware of or something?” Emily mutters dryly, half-hearted but gentle teasing. Y/n sputters.

“Huh?”

“’Cause you keep checking your phone, and as far as I know you don’t have any friends.”

“HEY,” deeply offended, Y/n places her hand over her heart, glaring at her sister. “Excuse you!” she exclaims, “Connor? Ashley? Lydia?”

“Yeah, a neighbor and two college students that you haven’t talked to in like, what, two weeks? What a social butterfly.”

“Okay first off,” Y/n ignores the screaming and fighting on the screen and shifts to look at her sister. “Stop tracking my socializing.” Em scoffs.

“C’mon, bear, spill.” Bottom lip pouted. She pauses the episode, turning to face her older sister. “Who are they and when can I meet them?” A devilish smile, teasing like only a younger sister can, curling the right corner of her lip.

“He’s not my boyf-“

“AHA! So there is someone! I knew it!”

“I’ve known him for like- what, three weeks? Nothing is going on! I barely know the guy!” Y/n fiddles with her hair and huffs, holding back a smile.

“Where’d you meet him? Is he hot? What’s he like?!” Poking her sister’s thigh continuously, she grins wide, excited. “C’mon, you’re like, no fun.”

“The thing is… I didn’t. Meet him, I mean.” Eyebrows furrow.

“Uh…” Emily purses her lips. “I’m … not following.”

It takes all of five minutes for Y/n to explain to her sister all about her crazy adventure, the lost phone, the brother, Sam. The girls munch on leftover garlic spaghetti, talking about the stranger on the other side of Y/n’s screen.

“He’s just… different? I don’t know- I just, I’m intrigued I guess. He’s mysterious and hilarious. The type of guy we’d hang out with. Why pass it up?”

“Just hang out?” Emily wiggles her eyebrows. Y/n shoves her.

“It’s really not like that.”

“I don’t know, Y/n, he doesn’t necessarily sound just friendly to me.” Y/n won’t lie and say she hasn’t thought about it. She’s a romantic after all, and what a wonderful, movie-like love story would it be for them to fall in love and march into the sunset?

But she recognizes this is the romantic side of her picking up speed on a subject that definitely isn’t for her to decide alone. There’s a second participant in all of this, and he needs to do more than half the work by liking her. She knows it’s no easy feat. A bitter dab of paint dissolves in her chest, because why would he like her? She’s nothing quite special. She’s just a bartender, a college student, a boring, normal girl, painfully mundane, painfully boring. He’s brilliant, kind and sweet, a private investigator, he travels all the time, he’s the most interesting guy she’s ever met for crying out loud. Why would he ever give her a chance?

“I doubt it, Em,” is what Y/n decides to say, because there’s no way she can explain exactly what she’s thinking.

“No, no, you’re doing that thing again.” A hum in question falls from the older Andrews’ lips. “The thing where you put yourself down for bullshit reasons. He’d be lucky to have you.” Y/n wants to roll her eyes. “Hey,” a snap of Emily’s fingers in front of Y/n’s face to catch her attention. “I will literally slap you. You’re smart, funny, kind. He’d be fucking lucky to have you, and if you don’t believe it, I’m gonna beat some sense into you. Stop putting my sister down.” Y/n doesn’t have anything good to say to that, so instead she lets out a huffed breath of a laugh and sits back on the couch.

“Now,” Emily leans over her own crossed legs and grabs her phone from the rickety coffee table. “Did you Google him?”

“Why the heck would I Google him?”

“It’s the 21st century, Y/n, gosh. Are you at all familiar with internet stalking?” Y/n watched pebbled coffee brown eyes get illuminated by the phone screen, freckles nowhere near as bright as they can be, because she hasn’t gone out into the sunlight today. Emily is gorgeous. Y/n is sometimes jealous, but also genuinely admires her younger sister. “What’s his name?”

“Sam Winchester.”

There’s typing, and then silence.

“Y/n…” And the warning tone on the younger one’s voice completely throws her off.

“What? What is it?” A phone screen is thrust in her face.

Mail fraud, credit card fraud, grave desecration, armed robbery, kidnapping, three counts of first-degree murder, and breaking and entering, she reads. Winchester brothers Sam and Dean, disappeared, considered dead.

“What the fuck,” she mutters under her breath, completely horrified at the chance that this is real and the universe isn’t playing some comic joke on her, creating another pair of Winchester brothers called Sam and Dean who, instead of chasing murderers, are the murderers.

She scrolls lower and sure enough, there they are. Mug shots, but more specifically, the guy from the dating app, smouldering cheekily into the camera –a real blue steel-, holding a police station name on a black plaque, sitting at close to six feet and two. Then the younger one, less joyful and sassy, more serious and puppy-eyed. Sam. Close to what was described to her, it’s all there. Pointy nose, sharp jawline, curly brown hair with a growing, swoopy fringe, pulled behind his ears. It’s him. There’s no way, the coincidences are too many.

“Bear…” Emily stares at Y/n’s shocked face, gaze empty and out of it. “What the hell have you gotten yourself into?”

Immediately, Y/n grabs her phone.

Sam

His reply is instantaneous.

hey y/n

i was just thinking about you

what’s up?

Please for the love of God.

Explain this.

She sends him the mugshot, photographed from the screen of her sister’s phone.

shit.

Part 4

A/N: Tell me what you thought? How the hell does he even explain this?

I realized I haven’t been tagging my forever taglist like a MORON, so just, sorry, I’ll start now.

Forevers: @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @deanssweetheart23 @nostalgic-uncertainty @mogaruke @superseejay721517 @lady-hawkguy @thosefeelsarereal @superwholockmarauder @justiceiswater @petra-arkanian-1497 @heyitscam99 @danijimenezv @aj-reuth @unicornblood4ever @mystriee @sadist-fangirl23 @asguardiansoftheavengers @superrandomnatural @altosaxplayer098 @winter-moons @hunterswearingplaid @novaddictx @choosemyname @live-like-a-girl @thisismysecrethappyplace @bowtomytenderaddiction @elara98azalea @lemondropirwin @emmagolden4118 @glitchcypher @calaofnoldor @paradoxical-sleep @narynechan @canwenotdothis @suicidepanda07

Sam Taglist

@kymberlytorres @theboykingsamwinchester @depressed-moose-78 @andi-mendes-barnes @captainmarvelcorps @nerd-in-a-galaxy-far-away @nellachain

Seen Taglist @shutupiminlooove @sammysgirl1997 @kymberlytorres @bambi95-blog @demonic-meatball @thekarliwinchester @littlekay15 @li-m-ii @thinspo-isuppose @carryonmywaywarddemigodwitch @ellen-reincarnated1967 @moonlitskinwalker @marichromatic @illuminatus42 @lazy-author @mirandaaustin93 @hauntedsiriel @pilaxia @devilgirlsarah @nobodys-baby-now @captiveties @calamitychaos @midiocris @wordswillscream @burningforsam @aiofheavenandhell

#sam x reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam #spn fanfiction #supernatural #spn #sam x reader fluff #sam fluff #sam x reader angst #sam angst #spn fluff #spn angst #sam winchester fluff #seen #seen 3

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cottoncandy-jester · 4 years

Text

✨Lie down darling, it's time for a dream✨

Stuffed (incubus!nishinoya x reader x priest!asahi)

Okay so for the longest time i didn't know what to write for them but after listening to three yagami yato audios back to back I realized Im a sinner..so yeah have this

This story contains: nasty unprotected sex, Double penetration, aheago, feral nishinoya, breeding kink,asahi losing his shit during sex, asahi calls you mommy a few times, light degrading, preluding to semnophilia

As much as I adore male reader cause I'm a boy but, this will be a female reader worry not I'll be spamming out some male reader stuff after this for a bit

"father, I have done a terrible thing.. something horrible"

The sound of your voice from the other side of the confessional made asahi twitch slightly before he calmly leaned back to listen to you. You were innocent, sweet and pure but lately he's noticed changes that worried him greatly, your clothes that usually were modest now revealed a teasing amount of your thighs or chest so of course when he heard your words he was alert yet calm..just what did you do?

"this is a judgement free zone, speak your mind"

"I've let a sinful demon tempt me.."

You what?

Hearing your words made the priest grip the white beaded cross necklace hanging around his neck as his mind started to get foggy at the thought of a demon hurting you in any way, you were too sweet and adorable for this!

"tell me, what has this demon done to you? Has he hurt you?"

Asahi's voice was laced with worry that quickly turned into fear when he heard a small embarrassed whimper from the other side. After a few seconds he heard your quivering voice

"E-Every night the demon comes into my window, he touches me in ways that I've never been touched, every night he-"

"has he fucked you? Does he fill you up? have you kissed him?"

Asahi spoke in a low tone with a shaky breath. He should feel worry for you but instead a feeling of pure jealousy burned through him, the thought of someone seeing your face twist with pleasure or the thought of someone kissing your soft skin while pounding you made him see red.

"yes father, am i too late to be saved?"

Your soft helpless tone made asahi shudder as his mind drifted to unholy thoughts. How would you look sucking him off? What face would you make when he eats you out til you are shaking? How would you taste against his tongue?

"father asahi?"

"ah you're not! Its never too late to be saved! You said it comes every night? How about I spend the night in your home so when the demon comes I'll deal with it"

His plan made you smile brightly before you let out a joyful giggle. You couldn't help but sound so cute as you thanked him before leaving the wooden box.

So day soon turns to night, asahi laid on your couch asleep before a creaking sound stirred him awake. He checked the time only to see that it was two in the morning, the male let's out a low sigh as he stretched before going to your room to check on you only to hear sounds of a creaking bed along with voices.

"oooh [y/n] your nipples are so hard and perked for me, hehehe do you like it when I flick them like this?

Asahi couldn't recognize that voice so he softly opened the door and peeked inside only to see you tied with your hands above your head and your clothes completely ripped off with an incubus straddling your hips. Asahi should burst in there, he should be slamming the door open and throwing that demon off you but he couldnt help but watch as this demon leaned his head down to lick and suck your nipples

"n-nishinoya-"

"this is the first time you called out to me like that..do it again"

So the demon's name was nishinoya? Why did you know that? How did you know that? Asahi was curious about such details but his mind blanked when he heard a loud whimper escape your lips, when he turned his attention back to you the demon in question has his face shoved in between your legs licking and sucking at your clit as if his life depended on it.

Asahi felt his cock twitch in his pants as your lewd moans ringed through his ears. His entire body started to shake as he bit his bottom lip roughly. He wanted to be the one to make you moan like that, he wanted to be the one making you screaming his name.

Just as asahi was going to burst in he watched as the demon pull back and both his and asahi's eyes locked before nishinoya gave a sly smirk while licking his lips.

"her pussy tastes like whip cream, so sweet and yummy so why don't you come and get a taste instead of watching like a pervert or are all preists this sinful?"

Asahi tensed up at his remark before standing up straight before opening the door and closing it behind him. His eyes travelled to you who couodnt even look him in the eyes.

"f-fathe-"

Nishinoya shoved his demon tail down your throat with a light shudder. He gazed at you with a sadistic gleam before a sly smile was on his face.

"hush babe, the grown up are talking so just be a good girl and suck on my tail like it's a nice juicy cock okay? If you promise not to bite I'll fuck you extra hard tonight"

His words shook both you and asahi but you did as he said and started to suck his tail which filled your mouth nicely while nishinoya tried not to shudder and show just how good that felt.

"d-demon! I've come to exorcise you! P-prepare to go back to hell where you belong!"

"funny how you say that but where's your Bible? Your holy water? Holy items? not even a single talisman..all you brought is a big bulge so let's just be honest here hmm?"

Asahi felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him as he glanced down only to see that he was fully hard, he took a step forward his mind clouding with lust as he watched you suck and moan against that filthy demon's tail.

"A-as a priest I'm supposed to take you down, I'll warn you once to release her from your captivity and surrender"

Asahi's shaky words were met with nishinoya letting out a loud chuckle before his eyes travelled to you before he reached our and trailed his finger along your drenched slit which made you shudder with bliss before he decided to stick two fingers inside your sopping wet hole.

"listen here, father she let's me do this cause she wants to, hell she would die without my cock stretching her wall each night. Ive cummed inside her so much It would be no surprise if she was pregnant"

His words made your walls clench around his fingers which cause the male to release a low growl, he definitely needed to fuck you soon or else he was gonna lose his mind.

"Ooh she likes to think of being pregnant, how about instead of trying to fight let's share this night hmm? Come onnn look at her she's just begging for a cock to fuck her so two would drive her absolutely insane. Give into your urges"

Asahi didn't know if it was demonic magic or his mind just snapping but before he knew it he was stripping down while walking towards you and nishinoya. His eyes were clouding with lust as he left himself in only his boxers

Nishinoya licked his lips before simply took his tail out your mouth before feeling you of your binds. You sat up now looking at the two men with a look of worry, you could barley take nishinoya and his thick cock but now two of them?

"alright pretty girl! Here's what's gonna happen, me and Mr holy over here are gonna fuck your brains out until the smell of cock and cum become your natural scent okay? Okay!"

Nishinoya and his cheerful tone made you shiver as you watched his tail wag side to side like he was some excited puppy. Asahi looked confused on what to do so he gave nishinoya a panicked gaze which made the demon burst out laughing

"are you a virgin?! Pfffft! Hahahah! Oh my! Okay, I'll tell you what to do only cause you look so cute! Lay down on the bed and princess here will get on top"

Just explaining what will happen made asahi blush before he gulped harshly and did as he was told. What was this going to feel like? He wasn't sure but he knew it would be better than touch himself in the late hours of the night.

"n-nishinoya I don't know about this, I mean-" you were cut off by the demon's loud whistling as he yanked asahi's boxers down only to see his çock spring up.

"talk about a long boy! Sorry I got you beat in girth though, but I guess it's not bad right princess?"

Nishinoya turned to you who was just staring with a look drowning with lust. Nishinoya knew that look on your face and moved to you only to lick the drool dribbling down your chin

"now now you hungry slut, you can choke on his cock next round but for now let's fuck that cute pussy to oblivion"

His words made you whine before he gave your ass a hard slap before pointing to a nervous looking asahi

"now, hands and knees above him don't you dare put him in you without me saying so, or else I'll have to break you even more than I already am about to"

Nishinoya watched as you crawled into of asahi before shakily looking down at him. You've had sex many many times next to nishinoya but also fucking asahi scared you since he was your priest.

"so fragile, you're shaking lets not be scared alright?"

Asahi's soft words made you melt as you felt him reach up to touch your cheek. You leaned down and gave him a soft kiss only to moan harshly against his lips as something thick slammed into you. With a shaky breath you pulled away only to glance back to see nishinoya on his knees behind you with a fake innocent grin.

"oops- sorry did I ruin your moment?"

Asahi looked at your face only to feel something snap in his mind, the way your face became flushed and your eyes tightly closed made him shudder before his body moved on its own. He wrapped his arms around you before pulling you against his chest only to shove himself inside you along with nishinoya.

You let out a loud shocked gasp our reaction was nothing compared to asahi who was gritting his teeth with eyes rolling back slightly, how could someone be so tight?!

"feels good huh? Oh this is nothing..come now father, can you really not move? Well if you're not gonna move I will"

Nishinoya started to thrust roughly in and out of you with a shaky sigh as he felt his and asahi's cock rubbing against each other, not only that but you were clenching so tight that he could swear he could see stars.

"ngh- demon.. you're rubbing against me like that"

Asahi's choked words were followed by his thrusts, he wasn't as rough as nishinoya but he was thrusting quite fast. he just couldn't stop his body from thrusting up against you over and over again. You both were slowing becoming a mess, drooling and whining came from you both as you two locked eyes

"[y/n]! So tight! Your pussy is so tight and wet I just can't take it! Do you hear it? That wet sound? Ahh it's so lewd! This is so lewd! [Y/n]! I cant stop- don't make me stop please please please!"

Asahi was losing his mind while he slammed his hips wildly and to make it worse this chaotic energy was only riling nishinoya up to the point where he was a snarling mess now digging his nails Into your hips while slamming in and out of you

"fuck! You are so good! Such a good girl..the way your pussy is miking me, beg for me princess beg for my demon seed come now beg for it already or I'll fucking stop"

The utter thought of stopping made you whine louder than you already were and you wiggled your hips desperately like a bitch in heat

"please! Noya! Asahi! Fuck me more! Ahh- please please! Breed me so good!"

Just like that your words caused the two men to lose their sanity even more. Asahi was in tears as he rapidly thrusts in and out of you like a rabbit now having breeding on his mind. He forced you to look at him as he gave you a sloppy messy kiss that left saliva on you both

"m-my baby! Have my baby! My baby mine not that demon's but mine! Ahh- please [y/n]! Bear my children!"

His whining sobbing pleas seemed to annoy nishinoya who pulled you back against him while his hand gripped your throat. He thrusted deep inside you while licking your neck along with biting at it.

"his baby? Fuck no. Have mine. My demon spawn would look so cute growing in your tummy, fuck princess it's gonna be me who gets your pregnant okay?"

Your mind was starting to go blank as your climax was coming close and just as you were were gonna turn to kiss nishinoya you felt hands cupping your breasts. You turn to face asahi who now sat up to hold you as well his mouth drooling and slobbering all over your breasts as he felt close. His hair was a mess but the look in his eyes was that of a desperate needy man losing his mind.

"be the mommy to my baby, you right that right? Mommy..please please please! Ah I can't wait to see your breasts swell with milk so please..ah! Please I'm gonna cum!"

His loud whines and use of the word mommy did something to you that you didn't know could happen to you but you felt your climax building up but before you can announce it nishinoya simply grunted lowly in your ear as his grip around your throat tightened.

"I can feel it, cum already cum around our cocks like I know you want to, you want us to fill up your needy pussy, you're so desperate for cum that your drooling and sticking your tongue out like a bitch so cum already"

His harsh words were the last thing you needed before your walls tightened and you climaxed with a loud screaming moan.

"yes, yes yes yes yes! [Y/n]! Yes! It feels..so good!"

"hah- ah, damn priest you moan like a little whore..it's so fucking hot!"

As the two cummed inside you at the same time you felt your mind breaking and it left you twitching and shaking in their arms.

When you three laid down on the bed nishinoya glanced at you and asahi who were both making such a lewd face that his cock twitched. He honestly wasn't even close to being finished but it seems that humans get tired so he was greatly annoyed to see you both start to fall asleep.

Nishinoya sighs as a smile graced his face before he cracked his neck while hovering over you and asahi's cuddling bodies.

"sorry sweeties I'm not done yet, but don't worry you can enjoy your nap"

#yuu nishinoya #asahi azumane #haikyuu imagines

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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718

If you lived in Bikini Bottom, would you befriend Spongebob or Plankton? Obviously Spongebob. I’m there to have a good time and catch jellyfish, not eat holographic meatloaf and make it my life’s goal to steal a secret formula. Do you have any bananas in your house right now? I think we still have some left. My dad bought a pack? a group? a bunch? of them so he can make banana cue and turon for my mom and sister while we’re all stuck at home for the meantime. Which overrated tattoo are you sick of seeing? Eh I don’t judge this easily since I assume tattoos mean a lot to people but where I’m from, line tattoos are pretty overused. They DO look nice and I get why they’ve been trending for a while, but yeah they’re evvvvvverywhere. Is it easy to distract you? Yes haha I have a rather quick attention span. Do you prefer to drink from glasses or mugs? Depends on the drink. I drink my water from a glass but I prefer my coffee in a mug, that sort of thing.

What was the last thing you taught a younger kid? I don’t feel confident teaching kids just yet, huhu. It usually works the other way around: when I’m with kids, they teach me how to play their toys or whatever game they’re playing on their parents’ phone/iPad. Are the clocks in your house mostly digital or analog? We only have one analog clock. We mostly tell the time from our phones. How long have you had your television(s)? Answered this before but we have two TVs that are 12 years old and two others that were bought within the last decade. Do you like watching movies made with CGI or do you prefer hand-drawn ones? I don’t care. As long as the end product is done well I can enjoy the movie. Where did your parents buy their car(s)? I know for sure the two family cars were bought directly from the official dealers. I think mine was a secondhand one. Do you know why your grandparents chose your mother's name? No. I think they just liked the name. That makes me want to ask my grandma though. What is your favourite kind of soup? Miso is the only one I really like. Have you ever made your own musical instrument? Nope. What do you think of Leighton Meester's singing voice? I only know one song of hers and I reeeeeally loved that when it came out, but I don’t think it’s enough for me to have an opinion for her music altogether. I definitely don’t hate her voice though. Do you think you'd do well at teaching the English language to a foreigner? Yeah, it’s my other everyday language and I’m a little bit more fluent in it than I am in Filipino. How long have your neighbours lived there? About the same time as us, I think. We all moved in at sort of the same time when the village was newly developed. Is it weird to hear your name in movies or TV shows? It’s not a very common name so it does feel a bit weird to hear, yes. It’s weirder if I have to refer to the character in third person cause I never liked saying my own name :/ Why do so many people seem to hate the Jonas Brothers? Am assuming this refers to the Jonas Brothers pre-reunion because I’m sure no one hates them and their new music now lmao. I think, simply put, it was because they were teenagers then, and pre-teen and teenage girls was their main fanbase? Most people liked to shit on that category of celebrities, even today – case in point, Justin Bieber, 5SOS, One Direction haha. What is a store you like that is exclusive to your country? Fully Booked! It’s the most complete, up-to-date, and chic bookstore brand we have. The Fully Booked branch in BGC in particular is a partnership with Starbucks, so you can immediately walk over there to get a coffee and read after buying a book heh. If you attend school, what time do you usually get home after? I always have extracurriculars like org stuff, meetings, or fieldwork after my academic schedule so more often than not I’ll get home by 9 or 10 PM, which leaves me feeling exhausted as fuck at the end of the day. When was the last time you really needed to just let loose? Like two weeks ago? I was bored out of my mind being stuck at home so I chugged a lot of soju that I asked my dad to buy so I can at least be drunk while being bored lol. Have you ever been blackmailed? Kinda. There was a time when I didn’t talk to my sister and didn’t really feel well enough to reconcile with her yet, but my mom threatened to go to our class guidance counselor and expose me and ‘the kind of older sister I am’ if I didn’t make amends with my sister immediately.

This might sound sarcastic but thanks, survey, for reminding me what kind of mom my mother actually was during the years that were the most critical to my development lmao. I always need reminders like this because despite how our relationship has ‘improved’ now that I’m older, I shouldn’t forget the trauma she caused me and the fact that I had always planned to detach myself from her as much as possible once I’m fully independent. I can’t disappoint my younger self by keeping her in my life as if nothing happened.

Do you suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome? No. I keep forgetting what that means. Would you rather have novels based on your life or a series of comic books? Novels, so I’d be more interested to read it. Have you written a resume before, either for yourself or someone else? I did a resumé when I applied for my internship. Did you know that they plan on releasing a movie based on The Smurfs? This survey is sooooooo old hah they’ve made a bunch of films on it already. Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live underwater? Not really. Mostly I’ve just wondered what it would be like to be a creature from the deep sea, where it’s totally dark and most of the animals there look prehistoric as fuck lol. Have you ever worked in a bakery? If not, would you like to? No but this question reminded me of Harry Styles, aw :’) ANYWAY if I did I’d probably take up a job in the office, since I can neither bake nor deal with people on a regular basis even if one argues that bakeries aren’t really particular spots for angry Karens or Barbaras. What is your favourite thing about snow? I like that we don’t get them because it’s bound to make my first encounter with snow in the future magical as fuck. Is there a big personality difference between you and your sibling(s)? Yeah. I tend to adapt to new environments way better than they do and I’m definitely the most extroverted of the three in all aspects. Do you enjoy decorating things with stickers? Hahahah yes, it’s an uncontrollable urge. I keep my stickers to just my laptop case these days, but back then I used to put stickers on my phone case, my ID case, clipboard, wallet, etc. Did you lose anything recently? Did you end up finding it? I lose my hair tie every now and then; my hair’s a bit short for a ponytail now so my hair tie gradually slips out my hair with me barely noticing it, so it always ends up in random places around the house. I do end up finding it after a while but it gets frustrating whenever I realize it had fallen off again. What colour oven mitts do you have? We don’t really use the oven so we barely use the ones we have. I don’t even know the color of it.

Why do you/don't you watch award shows? Because there are sooo many commercials in the middle of it, some presenters are awkward as fuck and I’d rather save myself from the secondhand cringe, and most of the time the choices for the winners are undeserving and end up pissing everyone off. It’s always easier to just wait a few hours and check the results on Google; and besides, the only fun parts are seeing what everyone is wearing and who attends to begin with hah. What do you think of Ellen DeGeneres as the new judge on American Idol? God this was a lifetime ago. I think I mostly didn’t mind it but I never did get over the replacement of the OGs Randy, Simon, and Paula. Do you ever do the exercises featured in some magazines? No. Have you ever watched What The Buck? What do you think of it? I don’t think I’ve heard of that. How long ago did you switch from cable to satellite, if you did? We didn’t make a ‘switch,’ per se. We had cable in our old home but when we moved to our current house in 2008, having extra channels wasn’t really the priority as moving already entailed a whole lot of expenses to begin with. That meant we only had free TV for a while which was extremely fucking boring, but eventually my dad got us satellite in like 2011 or 2012. When was the last time you partnered up with someone to complete something? I decided to partner up with Andrew for my undergraduate thesis in like August last year. Do you consider Lady GaGa's appearance artistic, or just plain weird? Artistic. What do you usually do when you have trouble sleeping? I put a lengthy YouTube video on so I can fall asleep to the background noise. At least that’s what I do these days - I always thought I needed complete silence to fall asleep, but apparently that’s not the absolute case. What was the last thing you used scissors for? I opened a sachet of 3-in-1 coffee.

Have you ever used some kind of food as a facial mask? Nah I always just use Korean sheet masks. How many USB cords do you have lying around? I personally don’t have any but I do have a hard drive. Are you satisfied with your social life (or lack thereof)? I’m very satisfied with it and I’m glad I got to open up in college. Do you know anybody whose initials spell something? Sure. What is your favourite flavour of Kool-Aid? I’ve never had Kool-Aid. Is there a specific food you think NEEDS to be at Christmas dinner? My grandma’s steak. Would you be able to re-string a guitar? I wouldn’t even know where to buy guitar strings. What TV show do you just assume you wouldn't like? How I Met Your Mother, just because their fans love to make fun of and compare their oh-so-great show to Friends so much when I’ve never seen a single Friends fan make fun of HIMYM like ????? Why the one-sided, unsolicited hate??? I was always planning to watch the show and appreciate Friends and HIMYM at the same time but because the fans are so pathetic I just stopped wanting to watch it altogether. Do your friends have more money than you? Seems unfair to pit ourselves against one another when we’re all still depending on our parents’ money lmao. Who always has the power to make you feel intimidated? Ate Frances has always had a very strong personality. Do you have more bread or cheese in your house? Bread. What was the last movie trailer you saw? Not sure. I don’t really like trailers since most of them give away too much of the plots already. Did you purchase any meat product when you were at the store last? My dad did. Have you ever been told that you have chubby cheeks? Well I don’t, so no I’m not usually told this lol. Do you know how to properly use a saw? Nope. Isn't it a shame that what Kanye West did at the VMA's overshadowed what was supposed to be a night dedicated to Michael Jackson? Hahahaha not really, I found it hilarious and so so stupid. There were a billion other tributes to MJ that year that went smoothly so it doesn’t really matter to me if the 2009 VMAs will always be known as the Imma-let-you-finish VMAs.

#survey #surveys

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dotthings · 6 years

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S14 has no mercy. None. It’s merciless. I’m a mess on multiple TFW relationships at once. NO MERCY. NONE. Thoughts on SPN 14.12.

Two things to get out of the way. 1. as usual, too much Nick. In every ep he’s in. Always. This comes from lanes that normally don’t ever agree with each other. TPTB cannot hear our piteous cries of boredom. We just sit through the Nicking and endure. 2. has nothing to do with an issue with the ep really, nor am I surprised, but hmmm yes nobody listen to anything ERL says from now on, trust me it’s best for everyone.

However despite item 2, I’m not going to downplay the Dean and Cas, and Destiel content of this ep because along with the bro bond and Sam and Cas and TFW stuff the Dean and Cas part of this was out for blood. And the Destiel storyline continues to ramp up, we’re all slowly boiled frogs. It’s really fun. Hahahah I have so many feelings. Help.

Just going to write out some thoughts based on my disjointed notes.

So Sam looped Cas in already and Sam is convinced neither he nor Cas can talk Dean out of it. Sam didn’t consult Dean about looping Cas in of course. Oh look, there’s Dean saying he can’t handle the “big goodbyes” so he’s actively avoiding Cas and Jack because he just can’t face their sad little faces as he marches off to his fated doom, which was plain obviously in 14.11 already, Dean’s just admitting it with words now. But I love that Sam has already gone to Cas with this crap. He went to Cas with speed. Misery loves company. And he hopes Cas, who Sam knows loves Dean a lot, can fix this. gdi. Sam having already confided in Cas (and of course we don’t get to see Cas’s initial reaction to this horrible plan but we can think about what it may have been and make everything worse) and Sam and Cas united together in looking for some way to get Dean out of this hurts my heart in good ways.

THAT SAM AND DEAN TALK IN THE CAR ABOUT JOHN. Dean convinced he wasn’t that great a brother to Sam and Sam not having with that or with “death-bed apologies.” Well I said Sam was miserable about having to go along with Dean’s plan and it’s showing in every scene. He’s trying to be brave. He doesn’t want to burn the world but also as I said recently, he isn’t exactly going to be ok with letting Dean die like this either.

“Dad would send me away when I really pissed him off.”

Up yours John, and the horse you rode in on. The thing here is Dean being so open about saying it, point blank like that. No “he did his best” prevarications. He just drops that and the sadness in Dean is eating my heart. This is actually giving me hope about the 300th ep and what it may accomplish here. This is setting up and telegraphing. We’ll see.

I noticed the ep drew a line between Sam and Dean, and male twins. Unusually close siblings. With twins it’s biological. With Sam and Dean, brothers biologically, but not twins, nonetheless were bonded unusually close by circumstance and trauma initially. I just think twins is an interesting parallel to make instead of a regular pair of siblings. And the way a twin feels when they lose the other.

CAS IS SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM DEAN JFC CAS CALM DOWN.

As a character, Cas is not *effusive* usually. This just isn’t how he rolls. He can get intense and emotional but here he was just so openly damn excited and happy to hear from Dean and I want to cry forever.

“Dean we need to have a conversation.”

“Dean, we need to have a conversation.”

I actually scribbled in my notes, in sarcastic all-caps, “NO REALLY?!” with a pissy little arrow from that line of dialogue.

Well maybe this is a “turning point” because I certainly have waited a long time for Cas to get assertive about this.

And then Dean that little shit ends with “It’s good to hear your voice.”

At this point I’m internally screaming I barely even remember there being Nick scenes, were there Nick scenes after that Dean and Cas phone call, does it matter?

“Doctor.” “Doctor.”

SPN YOU DID NOT JUST RECREATE A SEGMENT OF THAT EXACT SCENE WITH DR SEXY FROM CHANGING CHANNELS ONLY WITH CAS IN THE DOCTOR OUTFIT YOU DID NOT JUST

Oh yes. Yes it did.

Dean and Cas aren’t done battering my heart and then holding it over an open flame in this episode.

Cas begging Dean: “Just stop.”

CAIN: She knew who I was... and what I was. She loved me unconditionally. She forgave me. She only asked for one thing.

CROWLEY: To stop.

-SPN 9.11

Oh so we’re back to this again, and right when I was just the other day thinking about Cas’s speech to Dean in 10.22, oh let’s quote some of that again, just to make everything even more painful: “if there is even a small chance that we can save you, I won't let you walk out of this room.”

But Dean is adamant. He’s not going to listen. So there’s all this goddamn WOUNDED STARING and Cas says “so this is goodbye?”

So there it is, Dean having to be face to face with Cas as Dean marches to the doom he believes he’s fated for and he has to see Cas react to it. They are looking each other right in the eye, people. It is not for the faint of heart.

And then they get INTERRUPTED because that is the life of a Destiel shipper.

Cas is realllly salty. “If there’s a spark of hope, then I have to try. You taught me that.” But he actually sounds...tender, as well. It’s another plea, not bitter, although yes he is salty and being really pointed.

Meanwhile Sam has gone to the salt mines, and mined the salt himself. “No rest for the self-destructive.”

Oh gosh I feel for Sam in this ep a lot. I just relate to this, as a fan of the characters, having watched their self-destructiveness for this long. Again...no they aren’t going to just let the world burn, but is self-destruction actually the answer either?

I am btw absolutely cheering that the ep lands on another chance to find another way, but without heedless to the impact of their actions or “screw it let the world burn.” They have to find another way. Save Dean, and the world both.

Sam is breaking my heaaaart. I really understand his frustration and he probably feels abandoned, even knowing it’s to save the world. It’s also a little brother desperate because his big brother seems to be giving up and seems too fatalistic. Sam needs Dean to have a little faith, and Sam isn’t at the moment on a hellbent path of “no matter the cost” like he was in S10. He just wants Dean not to give up yet. To let them try. It’s can’t be easy watching a loved one go off to sacrifice themselves, and Sam did it at the end of S11, which took courage, just as Dean did at the end of S5.

There’s a space between “screw all the consequences” and completely letting go.

I thought the bros scenes were really top-notch in this ep, however that wouldn’t have stopped me from feeling critical if Cas had been ommitted from that last scene, especially after all the Dean and Cas emotional stuff earlier in the ep that got interrupted. SPN is about the bro bond and it’s about Dean and Cas and it’s about TFW 2.0 as a family and here the ep reminds us we’re in S14 and this isn’t just about Sam and Dean, as Cas walks up to them and we have another singular-to-plural.

(to Sam) “I do believe in us...” (on seeing Cas) “I believe in all of us.”

And another singular-to-plural but less warm and fuzzy, what has to be done if their once more last ditch effort doesn’t work. (to Sam) “You have to promise me...you’ll put me in that box” (to Cas) “You too.”

Not only is the story telling us Sam and Dean aren’t alone, Dean is fully aware of it. He had that confrontation with Cas in the hospital--he looked Cas right in the eyes, he knows. It’s not just Sam who cares and it’s not just Sam that will dig in his heels. I would like to see Jack’s response to all this, since he has been accepted part of the family and it’s relevant, but I love the Sam, Dean, & Cas interplay here and the multiple levels of ouch and the multiple relationships.

#supernatural #supernatural spoilers #dean and cas #destiel #Team Free Will #Sam and Cas #spn #Sam and Dean: a work in progress #not a John friendly blog #not a Nick friendly blog #meta #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel

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keepyourpantsongohan · 5 years

Text

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S20 (Pt. 4)

Hashirama’s “:O” face at everything is so endearing

Hagoromo is now really the time for a family story there are three children and a sad old man in need

“It was a few thousand years ago” Zetsu just said it was 1,000 years ago how bad are you guys at telling time

I wonder how Hashirama feels about Madara being his Soulmate™

“I want make sure [the Tailed Beasts] don’t fight amongst each other, and that people don’t use their powers for evil” better 2 have tried and failed I guess

“That’s because a toad’s dream is destiny” weird flex but ok

“So then, will everything I do now be meaningless?” “Don’t waste your time worrying” Ffgkjhfgkjh damn I didn’t ask for a lecture on fatalism in my Naruto liveblog

Lmao @ this dude revealing his thievery scheme after talking to Hagoromo for 0.5 seconds what makes him think everyone will be on board with it

“I only want you to go away as soon as possible” ah looks like Hagoromo made a friend lmao

“If we make it too sturdy, you’ll break your bones when you try to destroy it” they actually did a really good job of making Hagoromo charming like consider me charmed I wanna hear abt ur ninja way

Hahahah I admire Futami for not bringing up the horns for the entire length of time it took them to build the bridge

Futami: Hagoromo-sensei gave me a high-five one time and it touched my heart so I formed a cult around him

Wait if Hagoromo only gave 8 disciples chakra are the nine of them together responsible for fathering all the shinobi world what kind of Gengis Khan fuckery

Minus the Hyuga, who, for some reason are moon aliens, I guess

“Throughout this long history men appeared, one after another, with the desire to use the tailed beasts for their own evil purposes. And that turned the tailed beasts against mankind. Anyway, back to my story.” Hahahaha did Hagoromo just go “(A/N: Fuck Obito and Madara lol)”

Unbelievable you’re telling me there was someone who wanted to get with this old man with horns and three eyes who leads a cult and you won’t show me WHO where is the justice

OH HEY FUTAMI HELPING RAISE THE KIDS I GUESS? WILD

Mmmm I love Ashura already 1000/10 endearing impulsive baby

Some filler storyboard artist who I respect beyond reason: But what if... we added.... a dog

“It might even be bigger than yours” please don’t tell me they fished Zetsu out of the river

"I didn’t realize you thought so deeply about [chakra being used as a weapon]” “Yeah, well” “But then again, what will be, will be” what kind of parenting is this Hagoromo kjhgkjhgkjhg

Indra, 10 years old: I am concerned about the ethical impact of my innovation

Hagoromo: YOLO, son ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“I’ll be watching you” Is that the voice of......... Pubescent Zetsu

LMAO IT IS

These kids are really emotionally unprepared for the boar considering they were following boar tracks into the woods

ARE YOU SHITTING ME THEY EVEN USED THE SAME FILLER DOG NAME LMAO WHO IS WRITING THIS

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY KILLED THE DOG I’M SO MAD

Wow @ them having Indra invent chidori instead hkjhgkhg poor Kakashi

Indra awoke his sharingan over losing his dog I cannot believe this how are dogs the central plot device of multiple arcs

“Whatever is in this village belongs to everyone - that’s the law” wow along with fatalism this arc is also teaching us about the practical failings of communism

“The law is still the law” where’s the post that says Sasuke is ethnically a cop. Because that’s this arc

Not 2 be that gal again but Indra’s voice is also nice on the ears he has inherited his grandmother’s kekkei genkai of having an attractive voice and a terrible moral compass

...............kekkei grandma

“Looking into his eyes reminds me of my mother’s eyes” I was kind of joking about the kekkei grandma thing but fair

“At that moment I felt that I understood for the first time why heaven had blessed me with two sons” have you ever considered your eldest son is mean in part because you make comments like this

“What will the two of you do when you are out in the world alone” wow Hagoromo is giving his kids some kind of High-Stakes Bell Test

Hahaha I like Taizo I hope they don’t do anything to him but they probably will because he’s had so much screen time

HAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS SQUAD it’s the first ninja team and the boy is the healer!!!

Ashura: OH NO I’VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO GENJUTSU

Kanna and Taizo: WE GOT U BUDDY WE GOT BATS

I thought I was going bananas for a sec but the intro did change lol

Poor Tenzo I think he’s been officially discarded from OPs RIP

Side note: Having a Naruto blog has made me so wary of Kakashi and Sakura standing next to each other I don’t trust the ppl on this website to be normal for a second RIP x2

“They’ll suffer, sure, but everyone dies eventually” okay calm down Taizo

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s possible or not, because I’ve decided to do it” I admire Ashura’s blind optimism lmao

Not to poke too many holes but why would the water in the well not be affected by the Divine Tree

I take my comment about healing back ludicrously all the men get to display chakra natures and the women can only display glowing yin chakra hands booooo

Omg there is a Tenzo after all in an ED at least!! This is the first time I’ve seen all three members of the Naruto’s Dad Association in one place!!! Bless up

A shot of them standing all together!!!! My heart!!!!!!!!

SASUKE AND NARUTO’S GRINS AT EACH OTHER I WEEEP

[Hagoromo as Kakashi voice]: TEAMWORK!!

I was very much expecting Indra to go crazy and kill those two guys but wow that was a scene

“Enough to make you fall in love with him and follow him all the way here” At least Ashura gets like a real wife instead of Hagoromo’s ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ she dead’

Hagoromo: Indra’s a dick because his eyes are red trust me it has nothing to do with my parenting I’m a chakra scientist

“Indra, just what is the meaning of this” it’s a temper tantrum lmao

Was it really necessary to kill both of those guys Indra one best friend death usually suffices for mangekyo my dude

Minato joining Kakashi in the club of Boyz Who Jutsu Was Plagiarized

Hagoromo really has absolutely zero hesitation to attack his son and you wonder why Indra has a complex

“THIS IS THE POWER OF OUR BOOOOOND” he said, as he punched his brother in the face with a thousand wooden hands (mood)

Indra’s Lightning Teleportation Jutsu is really doing The Most the Raikage is not nearly this dramatic about it

Can you... just.... declare that your soul will be reincarnated? Is that how that works?

Also. Who slept with Indra?! U made him out to be like. Very Not Okay. But he’s the forefather of the Uchiha?? WHERE ARE THESE CHILDREN COMING FROM TELL ME WHO IS BANGING THIS OUT OF CONTROL FAMILY

Hahahahaha I’M SO READY FOR THIS RIDICULOUS TEAM 7 TRYING TO UNMASK KAKASHI EPISODE BRING IT THE FUCK ON

I knew the Sukea voice would be different but omg I’m still thrown

“S-kay-a” is really not how I thought that would be pronounced wow

“If I’m able to capture this Kakashi guy without a mask on, it’ll be the biggest scoop since the Leaf was established” a little arrogant Kakashi but okay kjhgkjhgkjhgjhg

This is such an adorable and weird bonding exercise of Kakashi teaching his kids how to break into Konoha’s archives I’M WHEEZING

I would pay money to see Kakashi explain what he was doing to all those dudes in ANBU who probably thought he was intimidating as all fuck catching him a wig with three twelve-year-olds breaking into his own file

“Who cares what I look like anyway!” THIS IS SO DUMB I LOOOOVE IT

“I think that a woman might’ve drowned right over there on the river bank” HINATA!!!!! UR TOO NICE TO BE ENLISTED INTO THIS SCHEMING HAHAHA

Oh I remember seeing reference to this scene booooo do they really have to make it weird all the time

This concept is even MORE ridiculous in the show bc it expands beyond Team 7 to all the other Konoha rookies like Kakashi how much do u enjoy teasing the children that this is how you’re spending your day

HAHAHAH Kakashi is lucky that the person who knows him best has face blindness and can’t call him out for his schemes

Okay not to betray my own brand but ᵏᵏᵍᵃᶦ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ

They really designed a nicer apartment for Kakashi just so they could animate his silhouette in the shower STUDIO PIERROT PLEASE

Fhkjhkjfhkjhkf that last scene made me so uncomfortable I don’t really like seeing Kakashi’s mouth while he talks it’s weird

You know I spent a lot of this interlude chanting main arc main arc in my head but alas now that we have arrived I’ve remembered that the war arc climax is a mess

“If my chakra runs out, I’m done” seriously Obito.......... how are you here

Can you imagine if Naruto actually died.... what would that even mean for this series I can’t imagine

“I already marked this space, so I can hide out in my time-space” I want to know how Obito “marks a space” is it like a jutsu or does he just have to nod at it and go “my space now”

I would also pay money to see what Obito and Sakura talked about when they had to hang out in Kamui for a solid two minutes lmao

“So you’re friends with sensei huh?” “Yeah it’s complicated but I think we’re cool now” “Yeah, same with us and Sasuke” “Sorry about that” “I don’t forgive you but thanks”

“You alright?” define ‘alright’ but also Obito’s never been alright a day in his life, Sakura

Uh oh foreshadowing to the heavy gravity space where Obito d*es

Okay maybe this is the part of me that is still clings to their Part I friendship but Sasuke helping Sakura stand really brings out my inner soft bitch

“It would’ve been helpful if we could’ve received this advice a bit earlier” Tobirama’s bitter about sitting through five episodes of filler

Tobirama: Why haven’t u been helping this whole time

Hagoromo: It all comes down to Madara’s magic pelvis—

“This man lent me his power and that’s why we were able to get here” does Sakura not know Obito’s name either khgkjhgjkgh

How many times will we watch these same two flashbacks of Obito’s life

Looks like Kakashi brought a knife to a taijutsu fight LMAO

God Rin is such a good friend to Obito and he repays her by literally defacing her grave

“Am I powerless to do anything but sit here and watch” it’s not really your fault you can’t fly Kakashi tho u could try throwing some kunai or smth ur not a one sharingan pony

Ddkjhsdkjhd why does Obito get a line worrying about Naruto’s death but Kakashi doesn’t he’s spent the past two days trying to kill Naruto

I’m still emo abt Kakashi trying to die for Sasuke that’s his soooon

“Rin... this time, let’s spend some alone time together, just you and me” Why phrase it like that, Obito

"Why save someone useless like me” Kakashi get some therapy

“A fool full of only mistakes” it’s hard to disagree with Zetsu when they’re flashing back to every mistake Obito has ever made

Where’s the graphics set where Obito goes ‘admittedly I lost my cool here’ because that’s what that flashback was

Update: found it

“Don’t cry, Obito, you’ll just get laughed at” this fantasy is an indication that Obito has no real comprehension of how fucked up Kakashi was by Rin’s death

Can you believe that Rin still dies in Obito’s jonin AU like....what. It’s not even like “AU of what I want” it’s like “AU where I learn how to cope with trauma”

Also was this just an out for not designing an adult Rin bc he’s been thinking about Rin endlessly for like three episodes straight so..... what up with that

It’s still so fucking funny that Iruka’s in Obito’s jonin fantasy like when did they meet did he just absorb secondhand Iruka appreciation from Naruto

“But, if you screw up, I won’t hesitate to step up as a candidate for Hokage myself” yesssssssss let Kakashi be the playful menace he truly aspires to be

Gjghjkhgjhg Obito’s “euuuuuuuuehhhh” when the paperwork dropped was funny

Sasuke’s face when Sakura punched Naruto was also v funny

Honestly to be real for a second Obito imagining himself as buddies with Team 7 makes me mad u’ve done nothing but make these kids’ life TERRIBLE until today babysitting license REVOKED!!!!!!

Am I a hypocrite for enjoying AUs ft. Obito? Mayhaps!!!

“You told me that saving you was pretty much the same as saving the whole world, remember?” (Well.)

“I’d say, you did your best” You know that post that said it makes sense that Rin said this bc she’s a Scorpio. I’m still upset about it

You know... Naruto’s “the coolest guy” (“nothing but awesome”) comment about Obito is a direct parallel to “Bravest man I ever knew” in HP and that’s why, if I were to meet either adult man, I would dropkick both of them. In this essay I will—

“It’s kind of annoying seeing [Kakashi] all stiff and useless” u right Obito

Kishimoto pick up the phone I just want to talk about that rabbit bijuu design

“A Susano’o? But whose?” DAD’S HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRE

Kakashi with Six Paths Power REALLY feeds into my theory that Kakashi is Hagoromo’s transmigrant

THAT’S MY TEAM READY TO SAVE THE WORLD TOGETHER!!!!!

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KAKASHI GETS HER VULNERABLE AND THEN THE BOYS ATTACK WHILE KAKASHI GUARDS THEIR BACKS AND SAKURA FORCES HER INTO PLACE THIS IS WHOLEASS TEAMWORK

“I really love you guys” YEAH HE DOES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay arc over haha right guys we’re good now RIGHT GUYS??

In part, Kakashi jumping around to save his students feels very much reminiscent of Part I’s “MY SENSEI SENSES ARE TINGLING” swoop and scoop that he and Gai loved to do

Lmao @ Kaguya spitting Madara out like he’s a bad-tasting vegetable

Coming up with an OP specifically for VOTE2 is so extra but I kind of love it the Diver parallels!!!!

Sasuke is SUCH a liar abt his attitude towards Team 7 - more specifically towards Sakura and Kakashi bc he has already granted that he cares for Naruto

Sasuke: Comrades? I don’t know her

Also Sasuke: Constantly urging Sakura and Kakashi to get to safety and actively intervening when they’re not

“Honestly at this point I don’t think anything could shock me anymore” Sakura really needs a hug and a nap

“I shall be sure to ask Obito tell me that tale in the afterworld” the real question is if Obito will still look 12 when he takes Hagoromo on the harrowing journey that is his life

Kakashi truly has endless love in his stupid ass heart Obito’s like, “Hmmm... whoops sorry 4 committing mass murder” and Kakashi’s like “Hehe, we all mess up sometimes :) See u in heaven”

Madara and Hashirama really did invent being in gay love huh

WOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO TEAR UP BUT KJHFKJHFKJH MY BABY BOY SAYING GOODBYE TO HIS DAD HE IS THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SWEETHEART

“You’ve now finally settled things with Madara” Tobirama has been waiting for like a hundred years for his brother to get over his ex

Hagoromo: Naruto’s your new conference room congrats kids

Mmmmm I don’t like aaaaannnnnny of this

“You’re suggesting that I enjoy a roooOoomance” why say it like that Sasuke

I genuinely think this is the maddest that Kakashi’s ever been at Sasuke that boy is very, very grounded

“I, too, had two children at one time” OMG KAKASHI OFFICIALLY DESIGNATED TEAM 7 DAD BY HAGOROMO (ur miscounting tho Kakashi actually has four (4) children)

“I think I shall let Naruto handle this” said Hagoromo, and everyone who encountered any problem in this series ever

I’m very distracted from Sasuke’s dictatorship speech by the fact he looks so much like an alien. What is UP with his eyes they never look like this???? Why are they so far apart and narrow and angled

“Your blood will be the last that I shed” what r u just gonna keep genjutsuing ppl Sasuke? Could just keep the Tsukuyomi on then, homie

It also plays into the Hagoromo and Kakashi are related (spiritually or literally) that Hagoromo is equally as useless with advice to him lmao

Kakashi: What should I be doing, sir?

Hagoromo: Sometimes I like to pray :)

Fjkkjgkjhgkjhk Sasuke claiming that Naruto is his only bond never ceases to amaze me like Sakura and Kakashi are RIGHT THERE ghkjhgkjhgkj u have been protecting them this whole time while they shout how much they care abt u. Just admit u have a crush on Naruto and go!!!

“I know your heart well by now. And you mine” Sasuke u unintentionally romantic dumbass

“Finally decided to kill me, huh,” said a thrilled Sasuke, taking a lesson from the Kakashi School of Very Much Needing Ninja Therapy

This entire fight is the Life or Death equivalent of this tweet:

Lmao one of these boys lost a tooth I want to know which of them has a dental implant

Omg............... Iruka what is going ON.... u are suddenly v pale and also I think ur VA might be different could they not get the same Iruka or has he just forgotten how Iruka sounds

It was real unclear until this fight that Sasuke had any of the same powers as Nagato

“Now I can finally be alone... farewell, my one and only... friend” again... Sasuke... u can be in love with Naruto and still have other friends!!!!!!! Ask Naruto he has tons of friends he’s not in love with*

*Disclaimer: they are all in love with him

The idea that everyone Naruto’s ever cared about is spiritually trying to help him kick Sasuke’s ass is p funny

“Sakura and Kakashi are still there, they’ll figure something out” cute that you have such an assload of faith in your loved ones in ur life-flashing-before-you moment Sasuke but with what jutsu lmao

“I began to see a shadow of my own family in Squad 7″ YEAH HE DID 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I still can’t believe that Kishimoto really wrote that all it took for Sasuke to return to Konoha was Naruto explaining to him how love and empathy work

Omg Sasuke laughing...... I missed your laugh you precious boy

“Release the infinite Tsukuyomi once I’m dead by transplanting my left eye into Kakashi or someone else” Fhjfhkfh it detracts a little from the significance of Sasuke offering his eye to Kakashi to add the “someone else” but I guess they gotta make the syllables match up

Why is every Uchiha’s long-term plan just to die before they have to deal with the consequences of their actions

“I’m sorry” “Sorry? For what” “For everything” “You got that right” Sasuke I think u need to treat all of ur teammates to ramen

“It’s finally back to the way it was” Kakashi loooves his baaabies

TENZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Omg they included Guren from the filler arc in this crowd hahahaha

Gaara and Naruto enveloped in that same beam of light like Kakashi and Tenzo in the Tsukuyomi kghjghkgh SP said gentle gay rights

“I’m forbidden to talk about it” Team 7 would RIOT if Sasuke was locked up in a cell like that fuck you

Hahahaha I wish I could see the scene where Kakashi and Iruka decided to ambush Naruto with study materials

Okay this is definitely a different Iruka ahhhhh weird I don’t like it

Iruka bursting into tears whenever Naruto talks about his progress.... same

I 100% believe that the vast majority of the reason Kakashi became Hokage was to pardon Sasuke but also that prison scene still seems appalling to me STOP MAKING THINGS WORSE THAN THEY WERE SHOWN TO BE

"Maybe next time” is super funny in the context that he does take her on his next mission outside the village and comes back with one (1) whole baby

Sasuke’s introspection usually seems to amount to “Birth is a curse and existence is a prison... oh hey Naruto <3″

The moral of the story seems to be that the best way to show someone you love them in ninja language is by telling them you want to keep punching them for the rest of your life

#i have caught up to the 699 adaption i am freeee #liveblogging #long post #ayesha liveblogs nahruto shipduden #ayesha talks anime #naruto series

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surviveatitlan · 6 years

Text

Episode 3 - I’m Literally Googling How to Protect Myself From Hexes - Francie

Francie

I'm literally googling how to protect myself from hexes

Yep!! Two tribes of 9!! I know a ton of ppl on this tribe so that should help but like, I still gotta be careful lmao. I'm gonna try not to work too closely with Emily because I don't want to hear any bs about "premades" like the last game we played together

i am literally hosting/was hosting (in tim's case) half this tribe + emily is my cohost rn wtfffff omg

Tim

So everything was going goood in my old tribe and all of a sudden we SWAP? I was not readyyyy. Like we were gonna rule the game as a tribe of 5. Tolimàn was robbed by one point yall.

Francie

the original acatenango peeps (the aca tacos) are trying to get tim and autumn to work with us rn so lets hope we can get this group together and have it be solid. autumn has no og tribemates left so that might help us. people to be wary of: heather and emily, both individually and as a duo bc I know that they adore each other so I can totally see them being a duo I gotta downplay my attachment to the aca tacos, esp my ride or die olivia

Allan

I'm really glad this swap happened. I really didn't feel accepted by my first tribe and I know if we went to Tribal, I'd most likely be out. Now I have the chance to make new allies. My strategy is to tell them that I didn't bond with my old tribe at all and hope that they see me as an opportunity for an alliance.

Tim

Me after seeing this challenge: https://confsnavarino.tumblr.com/post/171111635506 ITS ACTUALLY FUNNY GO CHECK IT OUT LOL

Francie

yep. tim/autumn/sammy/olivia/me alliance is a thing now. fingers crossed

Tim

Fill me up will alllll your propaganda. This is my second chance and I'm ready to get to the end.

Jay Bee

Honestly I think this swap has put me in a good position. I know enough people well enough to have options, but not well enough that I think I'll be targeted because of it. I have no idea who the fuck I'm going to align with though. The idea of Rebecka/Madison is scary, and Timmy says Rebecka/Dan is also a thing. I trust Timmy for some reason (I'm a meninist #exposed). OKAY so here's a swap assessment night 1: Timmy - Like I said, idk why but I Trust Ha. Hopefully he's not secretly a rat Bryan - A grade a Good Boy. Would definitely like to align with him. We just called for like half an hour so I'm hoping to nail down a relationship there. Brian - Um? I guess he's pretty new, which I think is good. I think he's really the only person on this tribe with no preconceived notions of me or other people Rebecka - Love her to death but SCARED of her relationship with Madison Madison - Same Dan - Seems okay, but I know he's friends with Rebecka so we love a core trio AnnMarie - please work with me Nick - Nobody seems to like him. I think he'll go if we lose, which is at least convenient if not good. Debating if I want to work with him just so that I'm not on the bottom. Rebecka proposed a me/Rebecka/Madison/Timmy/Bryan alliance but honeslee? I think in that formation I'm on the bottom, unless I can get Timmy and Bryan to want to work together with me. Anyway as usual I'm screaming.

Autumn

Me coming home to a bunch of strangers in my tribe https://media.giphy.com/media/nLhdSinRtaL2E/giphy.gif Y'all snatched my whole family and I should be pissed but like I'm really here for this new group so I won't turn up (maybe). Tim is my son, I love Francie, Olivia, and and Sammy already, Heather and Allan seem cool, and then Emily and I are on good terms again lmao. No comment on Jacob. So I come into tribe with all these new people, I'm juggling 7 conversations, and then Francie was like hitting me up for an alliance. I say yeah I really trust you and less than a minute later I'm in an alliance w/ Francie, Tim, Olivia, AND Sammy aka everyone I love? Nut the admins did me a favor https://media1.giphy.com/media/OTbo92zetdsha/giphy.gif

Timmy

This tribe swap is the best thing to ever happen. I actually know where I stand with Rebecka which is great. I know she will always have Dan's interests over mine so that is something I need to think about long-term, but for now it is okay because we are working together. Right now my number 1 is still Jay, I just have a really good feeling about Jay. Bryan worries me because he is an amazing player and I did vote him out in Alaska so who knows if he is bitter about that but we're talking right now so that is good. The second I saw Madison on the cast reveal I knew that I wanted to work with her because we did not get to in Himalayas and I knew ever since then that I wanted to work with her. She is messy and consistently messy but that could be good for me. Might as well have her on my side because if she isn't then I could go fast. But this tribe is amazing, best tribe swap ever!

Jay Bee

I honestly have no idea where the balance between cracked and inactive is!!!! Do you just.,.,.,..,not talk to people? I don't understand. I'm screaming. Help.

Francie

we're towards the end of this challenge i swear to god if jacob doesnt come online in time and fucking costs us this challenge.......

Jay Bee

We're doing the challenge right now and I'm SO DAMN STRESSED. I have a very hard time trying to let other people handle things and trusting others in general, so this is a special kind of hell. I can't believe this season supports underage binge drinking AND I can't believe I wish I were actually drunk. Send help.

Autumn

Candle king walking into Atitlan tonight? Sounds A-lit-lan https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-01/7/16/enhanced/webdr08/anigif_enhanced-20692-1420664628-12.gif https://em.wattpad.com/f6983ef619f199370692a5d6aa61048004415cc4/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f5a6e503033794868705a68795a673d3d2d3437393237303538382e313465626162373863366266356435353733373138343330393837362e676966?s=fit&w=1280&h=1280

Tim

So I FORGOT TO CONFESS HAHAHAH But this tribe swap puts me in a seemingly good spot my tribe seems strong and capable! An alliance was formed by Olivia that consists of her, me, Francie, Sammy and Autumn. I doubt that it will last simply due to the fact that it was based on absolutely nothing game wise. Im looking forward to working with Autumn closely as well as Emily so theres that! The 99 bottles challenge was intersecting as Jay would say. IT FUCKNG STRESSED ME THE FUCK OUT. It felt like I was micromanaging a little Ceasers or something. Making the lists AND posting at the same time?? Allan messed up but it was no big deal at all. JAKE DISAPPEARED ON US which sucks heavilyyyyyyy. Hes prob going if we lose again. Hopefully. ANYWAYS THAT reward challenge is giving me multiple strokes and gastreoarthritis or some shit like that lmao. I lieterally fel like Cirie in that one episode where she kept falling of of that balance beam. Im such a comp flop I mean the only comp I can win is Mastermind and thats if im lucky.

Nick

ABOUT TRIBE SWAP so we get into our new times and ONCE AGAIN all the people im close with exception for madison and timmy IS ON THE OTHER TRIBE AHH. Dan and Rebeckka hate me for the drama we had a month ago or so. Timmy is good friends with Dan and Beckka from what I know so like im probably screwed if we dont win the challenge. SO yeahhh this will be interesting I want my old tribe back LOLOL

Tim

So I forgot to mention that Em and I were sharing letters and so that at least lets me know that she is interested in working with meee. Also im gonna lie and say I didnt get a letter because I didnt attempt fhjksk s (Reward challenge that is)

Nick

CHALLENGE so we lost the semi live challenge .. kind of embarassing like too We had this whole plan set up and it got ruined Now i am going to tribal and welll if im voted out then i wont be surprised. Hopefully I have been proving myself helpful in challenges so hopefully im kept around longer #prayfornick

Jay Bee

This tribal is gonna be batshit!! Literally twenty minutes ago everyone was like "let's just go nick" but now I'm really Thinking About It and. That would be stupid. If you look at Madison/Dan/Rebecka as a trio (with Rebecka/Madison as a core duo OR Rebecka/Dan as a core duo) and with Bryan as kind of a gentle soul sucking their teet (love u bryan), then that's a solid group of 4. If Timmy and I (I guess I'm a meninst now bc we're f2 or some shit) go with that group, leaving out Brian and AnnMarie, to vote out Nick, that puts the two of us on the bottom of a 6-person alliance. The next tribal could be 4 vs. 4. If we save Nick, however, and vote off Rebecka - therefore voiding both the madison/rebecka duo and the dan/rebecka duo, thus destroying the trio - the next tribal could be 5 vs. 3 and we won't have one of the biggest social threats still in the game with two of her closest allies up with her. I think that would put me in a much better position long-term because I really need a core group of people who aren't ingrained with Emily/Francie/Heather/Olivia come a merge situation where it's my kids vs. me. Timmy, Brian, AnnMarie, and (unfortunately) Nick could be an integral part of that. Especially Brian, since he's new. I can use new. I need to keep around players who don't know me that well.

Timmy

Jay is cracked and I love her for it. We are playing so messy and are in alliances with literally the entire tribe. Love being a swing vote. Splitting up Rebecka and Dan is going to be a great move, it will suck personally and Dan will give me a lot of shit for it (and Rebecka might too) but it is just a game so have to have fun and being a mess is fun to me. Might as well be toward the top of a group than knowing I'm at the bottom of the group of 4 (Dan/Rebecka/Madison/me). I'm really just hoping this doesn't hurt me having a relationship with Madison at some point because I still want to work with her. The only worry in the plan is Brian because who knows what goes on in his head but I know he isn't controlled by Rebecka who is just telling everyone her plan and adding people to alliances without asking. Like I never said I was okay with her/dan/madison (I was happy to have a group, but a better one came along). All in all though, Jay is my number one so whatever benefits us both is what I am here for.

Brian

Its still eh. Some people are fake and there is so much pre-season relationships that i'm so oof. BUT i dont wanna be in the minority and if joining a make shift alliance helps, i'm down for it.

Bryan

Woo ok so we lost. That sucks. But I’m in an alliance with rebecka, dan, jay, Madison, and Timmy. And our goal is to vote out nick. I’m fine with that operative. He already talked about wanting to go against me rebecka and dan so like oops. I also love Annemarie. I need at least one person outside that alliance and that is her.

Allan

THANK GOD WE WON THAT CAUSE I FUCKED UP. But like seriously, I was so scared that we were gonna lose and I was gonna be at fault for it. Tbh I'm a little annoyed cause it really feels like Tim and I did all the work and when we asked other people to take over, no one offered. It really makes a bit dubious about trusting my tribe.

Olivia

Woohoo! We won immunity! I am just so happy about that. I have a nice sweet little alliance going with the three aca tacos and another one with us three and tim and autumn. Autumn is all alone and idk Tim's relationship with Allan. Tim Allan. Ahahahahhhaha. Anyways. Jacob's ass was GONE if we hadn't won. He is still my target should we lose the next one. I also did Pancreas and got a 29 minute score which I am assuming is terrible but who knows. I love Emily and Heather but I know for a fact, without confirmation, those two are working together. Emily has fawned over Heather since isle of skye and I just know they're a pair. I love both SO MUCH but i can't fully trust either. I thought for sure that being on a tribe with heather and tim, two close friends of mine, we'd immediately bond and become our new ride or dies. lol. but i think i can still work with both maybe but i like the 5 i already have so i guess we will see. how is it i have two idols, an extra vote, and i won immunity in another org but this one i got THIRTY MINUTES at Pancreas. oh well.

Heather

I have not confessed about my new tribe yet. I am now on the Atitlan tribe which is fun, and I have Emily who is a queen. Plus now I have some of my Isle of Skye people. I've missed playing with Olivia so much, ughh love of my life. And Tim is such an iconic king. Also Jacob from my other tribe, who has been inactive recently. Gotta do other impressions too Francie: I love them with all my hort. What a perfect bean. Allan: Seems super chill but immediately went into game talk Autumn: A sweetheart ughh my love. Saved our ass in the challenge like 5 times. Sammy: He likes musical theatre so I love him. nuff said AND WE WON OUR FIRST CHALLENGE TOGETHER WHICH IS FUN SO YEET

Dan

So this is a damn mess, I really want to trust that Nick doesn't have a secret majority alliance against me and Beckka because I don't know why literally everyone would just lie, ya know? But I wouldn't be surprised if it happens honestly. I think Beckka would go over me???? But like that's the ugliest thing ever. I don't know why Jay would make an alliance with most of the people in the game if it wasn't a solid thing, but like I'm still paranoid af. IT'S SO EARLY TO FLIP.

AnnMarie

I am so glad we didn't have to complete the full challenge because that was something I did not want to do at all (sorry Cameron). The only.nad part is that we have to go to tribal. Nick's name has been flying from all directions, and it's the obvious easy vote, but Nick is saying that Dan and rebecka are a powerful team. Jay has said that as well, so I don't really know what may go down at tribal. What I do know is that Nick will probably be the person voted out, as long as nothing super dramatic happens in the tribe. I'm super close to Jay and she's just amazing, Dan's super nice, and I LOVE BRYAN OK HE IS SO NICE AND I HOPE HE DOESNT END UP BEING A JERK in the long run. I'm so happy that I get to play with these people, and I can't wait to start a good alliance in this game with them.

Jay Bee

Loyalty? Who's she?

I told Nick EXPLICITLY last night not to tell Madison about our plan or alliance because she would tell Dan and Rebecka. Today, I wake up to the intel (from Dan) that Nick told Madison about everything. And guess the fuck what!! She told Rebecka and Madison. I'M NOT DUMB, NICK! Thankfully they all thought Nick was trying to make a power play and they don't believe I'm with Nick. NICK DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW CLOSE I AM TO SLITTING YOUR THROAT!!! If you're gonna be loose-lipped I'm going to have to vote you out! Ugh. This is such a prickly position. I would much rather work with Brian/AnnMarie/Timmy just because they don't know me as well as Rebecka and Madison (and to an extent Bryan through Emily) do. I'm trying to figure out who the most disenfranchised people on the tribe are and use them because if I can be their only source of trust, they're always going to be loyal to me. The problem is that I don't want the next tribal to be 4 vs. 4. That gets messy really fast. If I do vote for Nick in the big group of Madison/Rebecka/Bryan/Dan/Timmy, that puts me in an alliance with all the power players and leaves out AnnMarie and Brian, who would be much smarter to have on my side in a merge situation, unless I want to go meat shield tactic in this game. I don't know Ugh. Timmy, please come online so I can talk through all of this.

Rebecka and Dan

https://youtu.be/AUDFxIjAuZM

Amanda (Guest)

Hello! So I know I'm not playing this game, and Cameron probably won't post this, but I was SUPPOSED to play this game so I'm leaving a confessional anyway. Just here to say that Rebecka and Emily are the true icons of the season for having me in their host chats and that's all. Also Cam. I love Cam.

Sammy

I’m so glad that our team won woooooo

Emily

Omg I'm such a FLOP! I didn't realize I hadn't confessed so hey I'm in public speaking pretending to do my work! Anyways, super happy about our tribe winning the challenge. I really was thinking we were going to lose because of FUCKING JACOB! He like. Was not here. At all. Total flop. Major flop. I haven't even heard from him in like two days. WHY PLAY A SKYPE BASED GAME IF YOU DONT CHECK SKYPE REGULARLY??? Anyways, I recorded a cast assessment but it's a mess because I'm really sad in it and you can tell im a mess so im gonna type it bc you can't tell im upset when im typing!!!!!!!!!!! ALLAN: Really helpful in the challenge so I'm a stan! Hard to talk to I think but I'm really vibin him. I think he's gonna be a good asset to our tribe! Yay! I don't really have much to say about him right now AUTUMN: I'm going to PRAY that she's not bitter from All Stars. That was like a month ago and honestly get the fuck over it. You made a stupid move and it backfired on you! That's it. Don't make a stupid move against me this game and I'll work with you! I really like Autumn and I like how she plays but reading her Navarino confessions I can tell she's just someone that holds onto grudges for far too long and it's annoying. All Stars is not a good representation of my game. WORK WITH ME PLEASE FRANCIE: love of my life.... I said in the beginning I didn't want to work with them but I realized that if I want to work with Tim.... Francie is probably also gonna have to be my ally. Francie and I were also talking about how, if we lose, Jacob would be an easy vote because he's inactive! I know that a lot of people would be fine with that. Also, he hasn't competed in Pancho so I don't think he has any letters? Like he didn't even get the one from the rules? So no idol for Jacob. Easy vote. Bye bye. HEATHER: I'll sell my soul for Heather. My queen. I love her. Honestly I can't wait for her to snake me. Fucking queen. I just love her. If anyone targets her I'M COMING FOR THEIR ASS. STAY OFF HEATHER BYE BYE! JACOB: Inactive. Bye OLIVIA: I REALLY want to work with Olivia. I plan on making her my number one in this game. I just get such a good vibe from her. She seems intelligent, stealthy, and fun... that's what I want in an ally. She also has some good connections with other people and she's got a good social game. Definitely someone I want to work with and go far with. But, not too far because she'll win the game, but... I'm also trying to be loyal this game. Loyal to a fault makes people upset. So. I'm gonna have to decide. SAMMY: I played with him and Indonesia and led the charge to vote him out right before merge so like he could hate me? But he also voted for me to win the game. SO. I don't think he's bitter, but he knows I think he plays messy. He's super sweet though and I'm a stan. I gotta be careful what I leak to him, but I like him and can see myself working with him in the future. TIM: MY KING! I love Tim and want to work with Tim high key. He's such a sweetheart and I'm really hoping we can go far. I'd be so down for a little group of he, Olivia, and I. Is that proper grammar? I don't care. Anyways, I love how he plays and he's very well thought out and stuff so I'm really hoping we can go far together. I'm a Tim stan. A major Tim stan. It's still too early for me to for sure tell you who I'm working with (I usually go from round to round, but I don't want to do that this game. No flip-flopping this time unless it genuinely will be better for me AND others.) I'm really trying to refine how I play. I'm trying to be more honest. More social. More logical and strategic, but at the same time, not as PURELY strategic? I need to make sure my social game is phenomenal before I start going off and being a strategic mastermind. People won't listen to people they don't like, and they won't vote for them either. Whew. Okay I hope this super long confession makes up for my lack of confessing. Goodbye!

Jacob

I was asked to make a confession so here it is. I'm glad we won or I'd be screwed for falling asleep after inventory bleh.

Timmy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OolhMHA3F0o&feature=youtu.be

Emily

Finding out all these people's zodiac signs is very inch resting... I y'all I really do. Capricorns? Gotta go next. I don't stan. Bye bye.

Madison

WHOO okay last minute confessionals lemme hear you say WAYYYY HO!!!! Nick is the vote which like awk bc now we’re in another game together so sucks I guess. Also he came to me trying to vote puts rebecka though so like wtf bye bye.

Rebecka

Me if I get voted out tonigt: Thank you dan and jay for being loyal. Thank you also the the people who voted me out now so I don't have to go through a bunch of other rounds of drama and lose xoxo

#episode #lakeofbrokendreams

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tvmecaps · 7 years

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1. god I can’t believe I’m watching this again 2. WHY ARE THE EPISODES SO LONG 3. IT’S ARIE WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN

4. “how’s everyone feeling today?” “i’m emotionally and physically drained” this is me every morning

5. if i had to go on a group date with krystal i would absolutely find a way to accidentally punch her in the throat 6. i like tia she just runs around making noises 7. the fuck is a glob 8. THE KISSING BANDIT god i hate this man 9. if someone surprised me with a wrestling date i’d kill myself 10. OMG IS ALISON BRIE HERE 11. the fuck it’s not even alison brie 12. oh they’re like the real wrestlers lmao 13. i have no idea what bekah's personality is

14. wrestler lady: “who wants it?” tia: *raises her hand but only like, a little bit*

15. arie was talking and my mom said from across the room “what are you watching it’s putting me to sleep” 16. lauren b is just standing in the corner laughing i’m dying 17. oh my god she’s just… insulted bibiana’s name? 18. WHAT IS HAPPENING

19. wrestler lady: “I could take you down right now!” tia: “i would let you”

20. bekah’s gonna beat the shit out of them 21. the girls are literally crying 22. IMAGINE GOING ON A DATE WHERE THE ENTIRE PREMISE WAS THAT YOU WERE GOING TO GET BULLIED 23. i really wish alison brie was here 24. shut the fuck up bekah go call your mom 25. “has anyone even watched WWE?” literally no 26. i love tia 27. tia winning would be justice for raven 28. BIBIANA IN A DINOSAUR MASK 29. i want chris harrison to beat the shit out of arie 30. i don’t even remember who kenny is

31. bring back peter

32. who is the lunch lady 33. imagine having to pretend to fall in love with arie 34. oh my god what is HAPPENING 35. imagine losing to krystal 36. LMAO KRYSTAL IS LITERALLY BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS GIRL 37. is this… porn 38. i think this is porn 39. aw i love tia and bibiana 40. every time arie speaks i want to fast forward

41. i’m trying to snapchat arie and krystal but i can’t get a clear enough shot of their faces because all they’re doing is kissing really grossly 42. oh my god 43. snapchat makes this show so much better

44. “he’s fucking awesome” yeah ok tia 45. WHY DOES ARIE JUST KISS EVERYONE 46. “i have a feeling i’ll be on that one on one date because he knows i’m a mom” god in all my krystal hatred i forgot how awful chelsea was 47. i cannot tell any of the laurens apart

48. “and i just feel like these girls are living in a false reality” oh my god she’s CLINICAL

49. HAHAHAH HE GAVE IT TO BEKAH 50. SUCK A DICK, KRYSTAL 51. she’s just SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN 52. LIKE THE PSYCHOPATH SHE IS

53. is krystal literally just going around the house talking to the other girls about how strong her connection with arie is…

54. “this is a very Lauren S. date” - lauren S

55. “i like to go to bed early” of course you do arie you’re like 60

56. hulu isn’t working and i feel like this is a message from god 57. ugh no it’s back

58. “i feel like you’re a little bit of a wine connoisseur.” “no i just like drinking wine.” the most relatable arie has ever been

59. SHE’S JUST RAMBLING 60. SHE’S BEEN RAMBLING FOR PROBABLY AN HOUR 61. SHE JUST KEEPS TALKING 62. LAUREN S PLEASE STOP TALKING 63. she’s literally talking so much that arie is actually eating

64. “how is ‘ruff’ spelled?” “r-u-f-f” *everyone SCREAMS*

65. THERE IS A TRAUMATIC SITUATION FOR EVERY EVENT ON THIS SHOW

66. he’s NOT GIVING HER THE ROSE 67. I’M SO UNCOMFORTABLE 68. THIS IS THE WORST THING I’VE EVER SEEN 69. god that was awful 70. ugh i liked her 71. or at least like… i didn’t hate her 72. why is krystal talking about her like she died 73. dear god SHUT!!!!! UP!!!!!!!

74. “stop being so condescending to everybody because you like, met his dog.” CAROLINE FOR PRESIDENT

75. how is it only 9:00 i feel like I’ve been watching this episode for six years 76. tag yourself i’m the blonde bitch jumping up and down when arie even vaguely alludes to a dog 77. when does unReal come back 78. THESE DOGS ARE SO TALENTED 79. my dog can’t even walk without falling down

80. LMAO WAIT IS ANNALIESE 81. IS SHE THE ONE WITH THE BUMPER CAR ISSUES TOO 82. who PUT THESE FLASHBACKS TOGETHER 83. “AND I ALMOST LOST MY EYE,” SHE SAYS AS A CRYING BABY SCREAMS IN SEPIA

84. bibiana signs off from her prayer with “love you bye!!”

85. “we have just a random girl who’s walked up as well” same 86. i would just hold my dog and pet him 87. why is annalise so enthusiastic about poop 88. she’s really owning it though 89. how are there still so many girls left i only know like six of them 90. omg I can’t wait for chelsea to go home 91. her poor child is going to have to watch this someday

92. “dogs are so cute” wow arie is full of gold tonight 93. “i have never had the opportunity for someone to respect me for who i am” ok chelsea 94. i wonder what arie is thinking about at any given time 95. “the last time you said you were in love was five years ago on this show. tell me more about that.” do you really think that’s the best topic of conversation here

96. i wonder if arie is stoned or if he just naturally looks like that

97. omg annalise stop complaining and just go talk to him 98. ten years from now someone’s gonna say the word bachelor and she’s gonna have flashbacks to THIS traumatic moment 99. HE JUST KEEPS KISSING PEOPLE 100. it’s never a good sign when the dude says “so how do you think things are going” 101. he’s so not into her 102. that was painful 103. poor annaliese 104. she deadass got her coat on LMAO

105. HE CAN’T HOLD A CONVERSATION AND JUST SLOWLY MOVES HIS FACE CLOSER TO THE OTHER GIRL THE ENTIRE TIME UNTIL THEY STOP TALKING TO KISS

106. THIS IS THE WORST I HATE HIM!!!!!!

107. “today was really fun. i loved today. today was such a cool day. it was amazing.” - literally a sentence that arie just said

108. maybe he is super stoned 109. how dare they show me a black panther commercial and then make me go back to watching the bachelor 110. who does bekah look like 111. she looks like someone

112. BIBIANA SET THE ENTIRE THING UP AND HE JUST TOOK THIS BLONDE BITCH OUT HERE 113. I’M SCREAMING 114. LMAO WHAT THE FUCK 115. WHO MANIPULATED THIS SITUATION INTO EXISTENCE 116. WHERE IS QUINN KING!!!!! 117. SHE’S GOING TO SEE THEM KISSING BECAUSE WHAT ELSE DOES ARIE DO 118. “he’s with lauren b on my setup” i would literally cry 119. THE DEVIL IS WROKING OT 120. HE’S TAKING EVERY FUCKING GIRL TO IT 121. I’M SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!! 122. THIS MAN IS SUCH TRASH LMAO!!!!!!

123. EVERY SINGLE TIME HE TAKES A NEW GIRL OUT THERE HE’S LIKE LMAO I DON’T KNOW WHO SET THIS UP BUT ISN’T IT NICE? LET’S KISS!!

124. AHH!!!!!!!! 125. annaliese is gonna force him to kiss her

126. he got tia HAY BALES AND MOONSHINE 127. I’M SCREAMING WHAT HTE FUCK IS THIS SHOW 128. SHE’S TALKING AND HE’S JUST 129. SLOWLY MOVING HIS FACE TO HER 130. MOUTH OPEN

131. i hope they checked him for herpes

132. the bitch smiling because annaliese hasn’t kissed him 133. he’s going to send annaliese home right now isn’t he 134. this is so uncomfortable because she’s like BEGGING him to kiss her 135. i’ve never seen arie REFUSE to kiss someone 136. this is awful 137. he said no and i gasped 138. that was literally the most dramatic thing that’s happened this entire season 139. this is so dumb

140. you know annaliese and bibiana are going home because he deadass has sought out EVERY OTHER GIRL TONIGHT to stick his tongue down their throats one last time

141. arie is definitely lowkey racist 142. why does he make jokes that 11 year old boys would make 143. if i never see arie kiss another human it will be too soon 144. aw bye annaliese 145. “bye ladies,” she says, crying 146. WHO SAID SHE’S KIDDING 147. “i don’t know what this man is thinking” but literally everyone watching does 148. god shut up krystal

149. “i feel really confident, but also i don’t have a rose,” she says, BEFORE THE ROSE CEREMONY

150. “i had to make one hard decision” arie you’ve sent two girls home 151. the camera zoomed in on krystal when he saw the word wife dear god 152. OH HER NAME IS KENDALL? I like her 153. why did only one girl walk up when he said lauren 154. there are like at least four laurens left 155. bye bib 156. LMAO WAIT DOES HE EVEN KNOW SHE SET UP THE DAY BED 157. he definitely doesn’t 158. thank god this is over 159. THEY’RE TLAKING ABOUT HER DOG FEARS AGAIN 160. oh my god

#the bachelor #bachelor s22

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hankeliza · 5 years

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Hate to be cliche, but here goes.

This decade has been some shit. 2010. Best year of my life. I’m 17, I have my soul mate and best friend every single day of my life. No bills and making way too much money. I got the love of my life, Rome. I am so cool in my mind and just life was fucking GREAT. I met corbin that year and I was legit in absolute bliss.

Feb 2012 my best friend moves to fl and that was so great but I am in absolute shambles. I am lost I am unhappy. This is where it all goes wrong and only now, 8 years later do I realize the codependency issues I had with jenna. I fucking loved that chick from the depths of my goddamn soul, we could speak and make decisions and plans with just locking eyes for a blink of a second. So bc I am sad, lost and unable to make sense of my selfish and immature feelings, I take it out on her and a whole slough of klonopin. Corbin and I are doing bad and this is when it should’ve ended.

April 2012 (hah time is funny af) I do some shady shit, but not to the magnitude it was portrayed. Life moves on and I get back with corbin. This is my new person to rely on. I need him bc he stuck thru it with me and gained my whole hearted trust that he loves me, even when ugly and I love him through all of his ugly. We are ugly and we are in love and nothing in the world matters to me anymore besides him.

Oct 2012 I finally am ready to move outta stc. But corbins with me. I beg and beg and beg to please go to Tampa but nah, we go to Miami. It’ll be easier, Adam will take us in. He still is this big mature, always with it guy, I don’t know him, that’s why. We get there, nothing much to even talk about. Great times but eh. Leavin it at that. Shit happens and we get out of dodge like some fuckin thief’s in the night. Drive two days to portland. I won’t get into all the beautiful shit I saw bc that’ll take too long but, here we are.

I live with a naked hippie that is actually psychotic and oh, later on turns out she’s making us pay for a house SHE IS SQUATTING IN. But anyway, things happened (again adam) and we move to the city city. Won’t even get in to the shit that transpired there, but now I’m moving back home.

Feb 2013 (wow really seeing some timelines matching up of my most unpleasant times of my life?!¿¡) so I’m back home. I don’t sleep, I don’t eat. I think I weighed 110 while standing 5’8. My dads on parole, only time I see sunlight is when he needs to meet with his PO. Nicole nurtures me and literally does everything in her power to make me be better, but I am not ready to feel happiness or bond with any other human. I am not ready to move on or up or out. I am stuck. Corbin moves home. Ahhh yes. My safety blanket is back and I can be happy again (hahahah)

So in the meantime while I was sad Nicole and I are partying, late nights to meijer and rite aid, getting high and snacks and shit is just fucking awesome. She meets the love of her life and he takes her and even me in to his whole friend crowd and I am HAPPY and feel bliss again. I have friends? Imagine that. They fall madly in love and then heh, they move. Well shit. Now mind you I have totally capability to see them whenever I please bc Nicole is an open door policy. But truly I’m lazy, I like convenience and still wrapped up in my own stupid bitchass, (that I can now see, but then couldn’t) and it’s back to corbin and I.

So now it’s getting close to end of 2013 and all I pretty much do is spend every waking moment with corbin. I don’t mean to make that sound so awful, then I loved it. Now, it’s all so bleak.

2014 hits. I’m in and out of jobs. Corbin and I live off of pop can returns. I’m still 21 so like, none of that mattered and I didn’t care about a future. He gets a job and I finally get into the courthouse. We start doing ~molly~ heavy. Locking ourselves in a bedroom from Friday-Sunday. Every weekend. When you hear “ecstasy/drugs ruined my sex life” from older people, you don’t really know what to make of that. When I tell you drugs ruined our sex life and our likeness for each other, now I fucking get it. I stopped smoking weed 24/7 bc I was paranoid of losing my job. Not much more to that year or 2015 than chemical pills and being locked in a room and outdoor adventures with my dog.

2016, I finally convince corbin to {for the love of god} attempt to get his license back (which he did, and then ruined again, but that comes later) so we’re really making moves, honestly for us we were doing shit. We had a marker board calendar AND meeting our goals/deadlines !!! His dad gets oxys, and we’ve been borrowing his Vicodin for idk, a year or 3 at this point. This is kinda when things get fuzzy. But oxys come and got damn do they feel good. But only recreational. It wasn’t serious then.

Corbin gets prescribed adderall. Not much more we need to dive in to with that jazz but oxys and addies were all we ate until about the end of 2017. Pills are gone. Let’s fucking driiiiink.

2018

So I developed an alcohol issue at this point. Still battling it to this day. But I don’t really remember much. Did some cool shit, went to Europe. Met a girl that I’ve never loved kissing more. She was nuts. I moved out of our apartment we got together and back home, re-up w/ Rickey, we have fun. He cheats on me with the girl he got pregnant and neglected (they’re engaged now, congrats guys) I’m completely broken and alone because at this point i have managed to push every waking soul away from me and experience the weirdest fucking shit ever that I can only explain as spiritual, or maybe it was satanic. It burned and hurt and scared the ballsacks out of me. Can’t kill your self if you’re a pussy, turns out.

I spent this whole year trying to find friends, wrong crowd. I developed a relationship with a coworker who still to this day has my heart and soul and I love him and will always hope the best. He is the greatest comfort I had but it was only ever from 5pm - until we finished having drinks and sex and then back to being alone. I even confessed my confused love for him and he set me straight. He showed me more about being strong than anyone ever. I love you D.

The end of September I finally meet up with a dude I can’t take my damn eyeballs off for years. I finally mustered up the courage after making excuses for about 2 weeks why I couldnt meet up with him. So I come over. It’s raining so hard. I couldn’t find his house. I just wanted the god damn dick, and go home. He didn’t let that happen.

We see one another mainly every single day except Wednesday’s because he has plans that day every week. I tried my hardest to ghost him multiple times but he didn’t let that happen either. We are both drinking a lot because we are both sad but our company really really reaaaally made up for the sadness. He is the funniest person I’ve ever met and I think he thought that about me too.

November 21st comes and he is being weird and I am constantly nervous around him so I get weird bc I think I did something or he’s gonna tell me to go home, I didn’t know. He finally says he wants to be my man, like full time man. I have a bf? I don’t want one but something about you is fckin freaky you beautiful boy. Everything is coming together.

And here we go: December 21. 1 month is all it took to mess it up.

Leaving my work party, ironically after getting all of my drinks bought for me :) , I go to jail. Jail was not as bad as I expected. I was a good criminal so I got to sit in a different room w/ a tv until shift change. Oh and ! my high school classmate was a worker there so that was neat ! (jesuschrist) anyway; dont have Laynes number memorized, my family and I just watched my grandpa die, gasping for air 10 day prior. Can’t call my mom. Scared to call my dad (who was the nicest of anyone) soooooo corbin it is. I dealt with his jail problems time after time so, his turn I guess.

Welp it’s 2019. Not much to say. Layne stuck through all of it with me and I have no fucking clue why. Got a therapist. Stopped drinking whiskey completely. Bought a vacuum and couch. Live with my way too supportive boyfriend. My family fucking loves him. I am .... growing ? stronger ? mentally ? as every day passes ? because of him ? He teaches me so much about moving on, life and just thinking before doing. Life ain’t that serious. I love you Layne. I completely do. I started alcohol classes and I went in with such a shitty attitude, like I’m better than everyone? (Been my issue for, forever) I fucking love my group sessions. I am for once not alone with the unpopular shit I struggle with. Addiction is so real and I always thought it was a stupid ass excuse for being lazy but hahhhhhh karma loves me.

I’ve been struggling so hard with jenna. I have talked to a handful of people and most have said it’s been blown out of proportion but, don’t hurt your friends. I finally fucking wrapped it up when I got ahold of her, tried to anyway, before Christmas. I explained a lot, now that I’ve had years to sit back and reflect on myself and my bullshit and I can’t blame her (side bar: she still didn’t care lol.) But I am fuckin over it. My feelings got hurt to absolute fuck about some things and instead of being mature, I fucked her over, because I felt fucked over. But I’m sorry, I did that, I take responsibility and best wishes forever but an anvil weight has finally been lifted off my chest and I feel like I can finally move the fuck on and it’s such a great feeling to get rid of something that’s been eating me alive.

So basically, the last two years ate me the fuck alive. This year I meditated on shit. We will see how 2020 goes but I am ready considering what I’ve done to myself, been through and I still am fucking alive and trying. Being a human is dumb but it’s aight sometimes. Getting better. Good luck y’all.

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survivor-iceland · 5 years

Text

Ep. 2 - “I will not be a little tea pot this time” - Ellie

dylan r

OKAY! New game! I’m excited to start! I’m just kinda trying my best to socialize, I’m horrible at talking to other people, my plan early is usually to just win tribals and form small connections with people

Although I flopped SO HARD during that challenge it’s unbelievable I literally tried that for hours & I couldn’t do it like literally

Not much else, I’m just kinda vibing.

Jack

So Ellie totally spilled that she's gonna send stuff to our tribe so i'm telling my tribe that. I think raffy is gonna do the same. Also im thinking everyone on one so that we mess with them.

Jack

My audio is going crazy and cutting out and im like AM I BEING SPOKEN TO????!?!?

Jack

I'm chatting with maynor and stephen and thats going good. but also Raffy is cool but imma try to put some false ideas about the cookie game on him

Raffy

There was one hinky vote for me which tells me that people think I am push-y and a leader on this tribe which is not ok. I mean I want to win challenges, but I don't want to be seen as aggressive. However, I guess I cannot help it. I need to get into an alliance soon. Otherwise, I'll find myself not within a majority. I guess my social game isn't strong enough so I need to rely on my strategic game.

Keith John

Well, its been about three days since the game began, It's going okay for me. We won Immunity so game talk has been on the low. The time difference really screwed me over, I wasn't part of the latest immunity challenge discussion. Even though I wouldn't have contributed much in that convo, Having no input or talk during such moments puts me on the back foot (socially). The saving grace is that I was able to connect to four others through one on one convos. That has helped me built a sort of majority alliance, But as a thumb rule of survivor, unless we don't through a vote together. U cant trust anyone. Hopefully, it sticks and I am able to get through the first few votes. I don't know why but I keep getting a feeling that maybe John and Cormac are telling me what I wanna hear and make me feel comfortable. I hope that isn't true and the alliance is genuine. Cause I feel I really get along with them and can really work with them for a long time. I think both of them are awesome. The only other person I trust is Zoe, we just connected quick. Sierra though in my alliance I haven't yet had a strong one on one conversation with her. let's see what's in store in the coming days

Jack

Were planning to fuck with the other tribe by sending a spy to seed some accidental plan spillage. John’s a smart cookie. MaynorJay. I am slightly sad you split me and Timmy up. The cast reveal and seeing Timmy in that tribe i was like :0. But you did make it one world so i could still talk game with him 😊. Plus i missed being hosted by you. ❤️

John

this plan i concocted could either be really good or really bad. all we gotta do is throw the other side off their scent. but can we do it and make it believable? i guess we will find out tonight.

Ellie

Cookies is chaotic: more detail coming later

Jack

I took a risk for the idol hunt that might cost me my vote at the next tribal. I'm both regretting this decision and thinking it'll probably maybe be worth it...?

John

ok my plan dissolved like an alka seltzer. that’s fun. we love that. i just hope we win at this point. if we lose, that’s going to make things quite interesting.

Ellie

K so lack of communication has officially reached another level, this would be easier if people spoke???? Even Joseph did and he had finals!!!!! Some people have time to try to get on my good side and strategize but not to fucking talk about the challenge???? Some of yall👀👀

Sierra

Sitting out of this challenge was agonizing! I couldn’t be a part of any of the strategy talk for the challenge itself... so I had little to no clue what to expect as I watched. I really don’t want to go to Tribal Council, either. I’m hoping that we can pull out a win and I won’t have to stir the pot and potentially show my cards alliance-wise this early in the game.

Dylan C

I haven't been talking to people enough today and should probably do some of that. Well, I certainly will if we go to tribal but I'm hoping we don't

Jack

Cromac and I chatted for a bit and agreed on a sort of alliance, so that's a thing. Other than that I have fingers crossed for us winning this challenge!

Sierra

So we lost immunity, and I’m PISSED. We fully expected Keith to get 60 cookies from our tribe alone, but he only ended up with 55. That means that somebody on our tribe did not play into the tribe’s strategy. Now my butt could be on the line and I didn’t even have a chance to play in the immunity challenge! I feel relatively safe with my alliance, but anything could happen between now and tribal. Here’s hoping my five stick together!

Timmy

We won!! There was strategy used on the tribe but also people just tried to take control of what everyone else was doing. Like if they try to do that for the challenge they’ll try to do that for votes and that’s not how I’m trying to roll. It kind of sucks that the people I want to work with are on the other tribe. I want to message jack bc they seem chill based on the call last night after tribal. Also there is no way I’ll get an idol bc these slide puzzles are ridiculous.

Sierra

Right now it looks like the votes will be heading towards Stephen. I really like him and think he could be a good ally... but the numbers are against him right now, and that makes it difficult to save him. I don’t want to sink my game attempting to save his... so it looks like Stephen will be the first one voted off of our tribe. I’ll really miss having another literature lover on the tribe, and I’ll miss having some intercontinental diversity, but I’d rather save my own neck right now.

Maynor

So I am now in an alliance with Cormac, Zoe, Sierra, and John. And it is called Maynor’s lovers for some reason. But it now got changed to Maynor’s Angels. 👀 jay came to my host chat and was like ___ is shook. And i died as well. So far the target seems like it might be Stephen that was brought up by John. But we still have until tomorrow so who knows. As long as im safe that is all that matters.

John

hi. i’m john, i’m 20 years old, and i’m absolutely worried stephen has an idol. he just...doesn’t connect. and it puts me on edge. so i want the vote to be somewhat split. we need to put the majority of them on stephen, but have one or two of us worms put down someone else’s name just in case stephen pulls out an idol. no matter what, us 4 (me, cormac, sierra, and zoe) need to get through this vote so we have the majority.

Jack

WOW. Okay so Cormac and I a pretty tight rn. Plan is to vote either Maynor or Stephen. Cormac is closer with Zoe, who i haven'y heard from much. Sierra and I have had some banter with Sierra and opened up private channels with them. Imma check that they're good with Stephen or Maynor, and which they'd prefer.

Jack

Sierra seems to want to keep Maynor around more than Stephen while I'm feeling the other way. I'm down with either so hopefully things work out.

Dylan C

https://cnet2.cbsistatic.com/img/tcQaSg5LL_0-HBuWFPxpguK71TM=/1092x0/2019/06/06/b11ccfac-685e-4cb2-a239-b09af07b1baf/toriflynn2.jpg

Jack

IDOLS EXSIST. And hopefully Stephen and maynor dont have any

Jack

I MADE A DUMB CRAZY PLAN. Like I said to the others it basically, we make a chat with Stephen, tell him heyyyyy lets vote Maynor, then go and actually vote Stephen. I feel a little bit evil but also i totally get the reason blindsides are so popular. I FEEL LIKE A SPY!

Dylan C

I love you, Jay

Jack

The trap has been set, hopefully Stephen falls for the it and nothing goes to shit. And also that Cormac's not pulling a con on me. I doubt he is but pArAnOiA.

Jack

STEPHEN RESPONDED AND HE SEEMS DOWN WITH VOTING MAYNOR AND BELIEVES CORMAC AND ME AND I CHATTED WITH JOHN AND HES DOWN WITH VOTING STEPHEN BUT O MY GOD IM SO NERVOUS. sorry bout the caps lock, I feel like it was needed to covey my FEELiNGS

Jack

All the gears are locked in. Everyone's voting Stephen; Stephen seems to be on board with voting Maynor; Maynor will hopefully stick with going for Stephen; and Keith will maybe hopefully I hope go with what me and Cormac are going for.

That started off so confident and turned into "Hm maybe I'm not sure I hope"

John

ok so here’s the tea sisters. our original target was stephen. he’s more reserved, kinda quiet, but he’s going after less active players (ironic, right), and apparently he is targeting keith. so if an idol is played, it might be him. so the worms are talking to jack and trying to get him to come on board for our plan. jack goes into complete paranoia mode between all of us, and we’re concerned he’s a flight risk. so the vote is shifting to jack. being erratic is more dangerous in this game than silence is.

John

lmao if this blindside on jack completely backfires and i go to EOE, i’d actually scream over how much work is going into it. this is so messy and complex for literally day 4 of this game that it perplexes me. it’s either gonna be 4/3/1 or 5/2/1, i’m not sure yet. but strap in folks, we’re experiencing turbulence. the plane may be going down.

Jack

Other than Keith everyone's locked in to vote for Stephen, even Maynor. Me and Stephen chatted and he complimented me saying that i don't seem like a new player cause I'm so comfortable in chat and I'm here like "hahahah yeah so weird not like in acting all calm and collected at you so you don't know I'm voting for you." I do feel a bit bad voting out Stephen now that I've got a better vibe on him, and I've been leaving little hints of "sorry for voting you out" and "hope you come back from the edge" at him, but doing them as me saying "Oh I feel so bad for voting out Maynor" so that I don't blow my cover but yeah. Here's all my guilt dude ^

Joseph Collins

We got an immunity win which was nice. Apparently Malarkey (Melrakki) played with some type of strategy. And Ulfur went coocoo for coco puffs and won. So I’m happy about that. Putting a plan in motion to get some threats out soon. Need a really good numbers advantage first.

Zoe

GOD okay wow this is so much. We lost the immunity challenge, which is funny because I said that I was pretty confident we were going to win. I'm not concerned about being sent home, I'm almost positive Cormac would tell me if he knew, and I have good relationships with people in my tribe. And very good news: Well, after literally teaching myself how to do a slide puzzle, wrestling with the god-host herself over reference images and website dysfunctionality, I finally reached the end of the idol hunt and located a very beautiful advantage, which is to call a blind vote and then see what people vote even though nobody else can. I read it a few times and then facetimed with Cormac to tell him the good news, and we agreed we would keep it until swap or merge and use it to see where peoples' loyalties lie. We discussed all of our options, our relationships with different people, and who we want to keep close until later. I have a good relationship with Timmy and Maynor, and I think Dylan C as well, so that will come in handy when we swap and after the merge. We also solidified an alliance with us and Keith. FUCKING MEANWHILE, over in tribe Machievelli, the "oh, worm?" alliance has gone absolutely nuts strategizing over this vote. Jack has made everyone very paranoid by asking every person in the tribe who they were voting for. He had never messaged me individually before, and then just popped up and said he wanted to make sure I was voting for Stephen, which is who "oh, worm?" was originally going to vote for. I think it was Cormac who brought it up because Jack keeps info-dumping all of his thoughts onto him, but we all agreed to vote for Jack. Cormac and I discussed how to tell each person, one of those resulting in a final three deal with Keith, entitled "Zoe and the boys" as well as a yet to be titled final four alliance with me, Cormac, John, and Keith, yet to be named, that neither John nor Keith know about. Ultimately we said that we'd check back in in the morning and determine if anything had blown up overnight with Jack, since he seems to be very paranoid.

Jack

MWAHAHAAHHA Stephen believes out plan to vote maynoris genuine but it is a TRICK. Hope he doesn't hate me tho, seems like a nice guy. Those read receipts are just real sus being off man. but he tots believes me, Cormac, and Sierra.

Zoe

It's been more of a quiet morning, though we are all tense about what is going to happen at tribal. We don't think there is anything crazy happening with Jack, and ultimately we aren't telling Stephen about the plan in case he ends up telling a person he isn't supposed to. It should turn out to be a 6-1-1 vote, hopefully none of those going to me. I want to play a low key game here: I want to be making the decisions with Cormac, making tight alliances with other players, and then having them go out and do the dirty work. John seems like a good guy and a good player, and I also feel like he thinks he's the leader of our little group. It's definitely in our best interest to stay tight with him, but we have to be wary of him making alliances on the other side as well.

Maynor

I’m so fucken nervous and I swear if im voted out second. Ugh. Jack can go home. Like i did nothing to you and you just decide to come for me for no reason? Like wow. Jacks the target and I hope the people ive been talking to and aligned with are telling me the truth cuz it would totally suck if they are lying to me. There is really no reason to take me out who is active instead of jack who isnt active and just barely coming on. Fuuuuuuck me. Im be paranoid the whole fucken day arent I.

Stephen

So this tribe is kinda dull, so theyve chosen a dull vote. Maynor. I like maynor but he has been a little silent. The big question is: is there a majority alliance out there? The answer is yes, of course there is, there always is. I make my survivor career on not being in majority alliance then tearing them apart when the tea gets spilled. See: Tashirojima.

Jack

Made a bit of a conection with Ellie from the other tribe, and she seems pretty open to working together if we make it to the merge or if theres a tibe swap

Raffy

I am happy that we do not have to go to tribal. It allows me to be more social with people on my tribe without the threat of a vote looming over our heads.

Justin

This round was a lot more chill. Mostly cuz we won immunity, but I'm still keeping my relations with everyone good. I realized this round that Cormac, whom I have been talking to since last round, is on the other tribe lol. Luckily, I didn't tell him any compromising information, and now I have a connection to the other tribe. Plus, Keith from the other tribe reached out to me and we had a really good conversation. I like him a lot and I see myself working with him in a swap or merge. He is from Pakistan so he is also in the eastern hemisphere as well as Stephen. So, I was thinking I could possibly make an Old World alliance because we are closer to each other in times. However, Cormac has told me that his tribe is most likely voting out Stephen so that won't work out. I would say the only alliance I have so far is with Cormac, so I need to make something official with a player in my tribe before other people get them. Specifically, I want to ask Timmy to be in an alliance.

Maynor

Today has been really quiet. I really hope the people telling me im good are telling the truth. I hope my connections are strong enough to let me survive this first round. Im so nervous and ugh i hate this feeling. Id be extremely sad if I go over an inactive.

Raffy

Truly. Honestly. I'm so lazy. I don't want to do the idol hunt lmao

Jack

I can't remember if i already did a confessional about this but in case i didn't: Ellie and i chatted a bit and she seems open to working together later in the game and Cormac seems down with that plan too. Idk if i cant /trust/ Raffy but he also seems cool too

Ellie

So I feel like Raffy is a tiny bit annoyed with me sometimes cause I do share a lot, but I will not be a little tea pot this time. Raffy and I talk strategy all the time and he’s my closest ally but it honestly feels like I barely know him while my other close ally, Dylan, I have bonded with a lot and know a lot about them while still strategizing with them. It’s weird but I’m not going to push. He told me to stop talking about past games, and I’m like ? If I don’t mention you we’ll be chill

Ellie

Also we bonded with jack 👀

Maynor

Tonight, i may be leaving. Ill just be really sad. Mad at first cuz i tried my hardest in first immunity and then someone decides to mess up in the 2nd if by accident or on purpose. Mostly ill be sad cuz i wont be able to play with Timmy. I finally got to retalking with dylan and really miss them. Mostly ill be sad cuz let jay down for giving me a 3rd chance after my performance in rotuma. Ily Jay. Hopefully i stay. ❤️❤️❤️

Dylan C

I have to choose whether or not to do a part of the idol hunt where if I do it, I risk losing my vote at the next tribal I attend, and if I don't do it then I start the idol hunt over. Heck. I'll probably do it tbh.

Maynor messaged me a few minutes ago to say that he thinks he's getting voted out tonight, and that he enjoyed talking to me again. I don't want to see him go, in part bc I wanted to try to ally with him at some point and also just because I like him. Also I don't know what's going on on the other tribe but? Y'all are gonna vote out the guy who held a cup over his head for over two hours for your tribe? Smh

Jack

I really like Dylan C's vibe. Imma PM them later some more and see if that's a thing

Sierra

The vote switched when Jack started getting paranoid — his name wasn’t even coming up until he started asking everyone if they were SURE that they were down with the plan. It felt really awkward to have to reiterate over and over again that we were on his side... and it made it difficult to believe that HE was really with US. I’m really grateful that Stephen gets to stay around for another few days!

Dylan R

Ok so I did all of the puzzles for the idol hunt & then I FLOPPED on the challenge so: I have my clown outfit on.

I’m trying to make friends but it’s hard 🥺 I think if we go to tribal Joseph will go before be but I got some serious catch up to do if I wanna win

John

i know keith was originally our fifth, but i’m kinda wanting to work with maynor the more i talk to him. i want a fifth that will side with me if needed. and idk if keith could be that fifth that would benefit ME. it’s also just a thought. not tied to the idea yet. stay tuned kids.

cormac marek

Alrighty very eventful times leading up to our first tribal. I have been involved in like 13 alliance chats. Me and Zoe had an hour call last night on how she found an advantage to be kept between the two of us. It was amazing! Keith seems on board for anything. He has a "as long as its not me" gameplay. The core worm alliance was going to vote out Stephen but switched it to Jack after he became insane. It was sad because we were going to include Jack in on the deals. Maynor was told that Jack was gunning for him so that's a vote for Chaos Kass. If all goes smooth it will be unanimous. Stephen asked me right before tribal and I told him Jack was gunning for him and that majority was going for him. Hopefully this means he will be with us. It is really tricky. Let's see how the blood rolls

Joseph Collins

Patiently waiting on next immunityyyyyyy.

Timmy

Jack is trying to get maynor out...so jack can go.

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thespace-dragon · 8 years

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Do you have any good fluffy klance that you recommend?

Yall are keeping me busy xD but here we go!

Again, all of you can search through this list, its been filtered down to klance ^^

Theres also these works of mine: One, two, three, four, five. All are pretty much angst free, if there is any, its really light.

And, action! by staysharp

Summary: “Listen, where do you go to college?”“Why does a movie star want to know?”“So I can take you out for coffee as an apology.”(or alternatively, Keith receives a call not meant for him but he manages to get involved in the caller's life in ways he never would have imagined)WC: 106237 (17/17)General Notes: laksfbgagah, keymashing is all i got on this fic, just read it 10/10

First Day of My Life by eso/cazzy

Summary:Lance has avoided asking about it all night, mostly because he’s pretty sure it’s weird to ask your friend if they’d be interested in cuddling in the same bed. WC: 9445General Notes: this fic is ridiculously fluffy, god these boys are awkward and lance is losing his mind, i love it. 9/10

Not That Bad by varelsen

Summary: “Am I really going to have to explain this to you?” “No, I’m totally fine with you shutting up right about now.” Hunk cups his hands around his mouth. “You. Are crushing. On Keith.”Or, a college AU featuring coffee shops, silly rivalries, motorcycles, arcade games, friendships, and lots of warm, fluffy feelings that are both confusing and delightful all at the same time.WC: 67847 (12/12)General Notes: the college university is just the best, bless. Lance is a dork, and Keith is just a ball of anxiety. like same keith same. 10/10

i bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

Summary: "So like in 'Step Up'?" Allura shrugs. "Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it's just like in 'Step Up'." The smile that she sends Shiro's way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn't believe in dance camps.-Lance McClain's dancing career begins and ends with Keith.Keith just wants to find out what Lance's deal is.WC: 43291 (7/7)General Notes: hahahah its literally the dance au that everyone knows about, and like a shit ton of fanart has been made for. its really great, like A+, lance again is a huge dork and Keith is mr moody and broody, 9/10

Take the Easel Way Out by legendarydesvender/svenationalist

Summary: Oh no, he’s hot, Lance thinks while he’s dying.(Pidge elbows Lance sharply a little while later. “You’re not dying, dumbass,” they whisper. “Pay attention, the pose started.”)***Written for klanceweek day 1, “Red/Blue”. Art class AU where Lance can’t focus because one of the new life drawing models is too attractive.WC: 4094General Note: in which we are all lance xD 10/10

Color Me Intrigued by dreamcp

Summary:Lance draws. Specifically, Lance draws Keith. A lot. Wonder why that is?WC: 5235General Notes: lance doodles and i just really love this, like its seriously one of my hcs that Lance just doodles in his down time. 10/10

Costumed Identities by Trashness

Summary: Lance and Keith are rival cosplayers, who only know each other by their online usernames. They are fiercely competitive, but are also desperately attracted to each other. You'd think they would just get together already, but there's a couple of problems: 1. Keith crossplays, so Lance has absolutely no idea that Keith is a boy. 2. Both of them are idiots, and can't seem to figure out that that hot cosplayer they like, is also that hot guy that they drool over every day at school. WC: 41538 (3/3)General Notes: i dont know much about cosplay, but like this is amazing. keith and lance are both idiots in love. 10/10

nothing’s quite as sweet by dimpleforyourthoughts, thebrotherswinchester

Summary: Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street.WC: 50370 (yes one chapter xD)General Notes: tbh, i really love the tags on this fic: keith kogane; human disaster and lance mcclain; sunshine boi. like thats literally the fic. its really cute and i love it so much. 11/10

Secret Ingredients by Lynn1998

Summary: Lance lives a comfortable life in the outside mall nicknamed the streets of Voltron. He bakes for a living with his friend, Hunk, and enjoys the company of the other store owners near him. Life seems great and easy until some pretty boy with a mullet opens a bakery across the street from him.WC: 48193General Notes: my face hurt reading this fic. its great. like godbless. 9/10

Catching Feelings by th3blackcat

Summary: It's easy to spot Lance. The college student always has his nose in a book, whether it's for one of his classes, a class that he's a TA for, or for fun. It isn't until Keith, an engineering student who's closer to him than he realizes, saves him from walking into traffic that he realizes that maybe finding solace in books isn't the best way to get through life. Soon enough, the life he knew began to change and the more he learned about Keith, the more he learned about himself. WC: 12338 (4/?)General Notes: I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY BUT GO READ THIS PLEASE 100/10

Sleepy Rumbles and After Shower Warmth by BoyBitingDemon

Summary: Restless nights are hard for Lance, especially where going to sleep is concerned, so what better way to combat that energy than tinkering with a high tech blaster and a sleepy boyfriend?Or that time Keith got Lance to calm down and sleep without having to do anything at all except exist.WC: 1056General Notes: summary says it all and its hella cute 8/10.

free throw by breadpoetsociety

Summary: “Shiro, uh, Takashi Shirogane, pretty much changed my life. His skill was– is– unparalleled, and he’s my hero,” Lance smiled fondly at the bench before turning back, eyes roving the crowd again. “He introduced me to the greatest love of my life. And, actually, that’s not basketball. But his brother, Keith Kogane.”Keith’s eyes widened, and he turned bright red. But still, he smiled. He couldn't help but to smile.WC: 1673General Notes: this is so fucking cute, basketball player lance, and cheerleader keith. thats all you gotta know. 10/10

#klance #fic recs #holy moly #yall keep coming out of nowhere for these xD #anonny #dragon answers

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