#I AM SO ANGRY AND TIRED AND AAAAA

[thelordfool]

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!

Long story short: I'm unemployed and will not, unlike what I originally thought, qualify for unemployment benefits.

Please read the readmore for additional context on why I'm unemployed. This post is basically a continuation/update/redo of this post. I'm suffering a sickness with no medicine the past week, applied for almost 100 jobs the last two weeks, am disabled/queer/nonbinary/tired of ebegging. I'm also in the negatives in my bank account because my car payment came out, so I need to get that covered.

pp/vm/ca

$250/$1151.51

i need at least $511.51 of this by the first. please spread if you're financially unable to help, every person this reaches helps! here's the breakdown of the costs: $640 - car payment + late fees $380 - rent $131.51 - negative amount in bank currently

Oh hey thanks for stopping by to read this annoying tale of woe and being angry at capitalism. Prepare for wall of text.

I once had two jobs. The first job, at a chain restaurant, was a bit of a clique-y experience where I was working my damndest to be the best bartender they ever had. I still have all the cocktails memorized. However, I continually faced discrimination in the form of severe misgendering, no matter how often I corrected them. I was also set up for failure. Usually, when someone gets hired for a position, there's some amount of training to be done, no matter how experienced they are, right? I was going in nearly entirely inexperienced into the role. I knew how to make cocktails, sure, and was and still am very good with people and selling. But I was trained for two days. Two. Then, on my first night alone (a Friday), I was watched by one of the bigwigs at corporate who saw every little flub and failure. This caused a demotion-ish. I was demoted to barback but was allowed the same privileges. Until their next visit. That upset the hell out of me - I was well trained by that point and could do it all, with one hand tied behind my back. I digress. It was about 2 months following my demotion when i finally walked out. A new bartender had been hired and she thought I was being a total creep by looking at a ticket that had just come in. She stormed off to report me to the manager who, even after hearing my side where I had asked her if there was anything on the ticket that I could grab, said that I "needed to communicate better," and "you should be learning from her," and "you're a grown man, you should know better." I don't think I need to explain why that was so upsetting.

But I didn't report them, because I just wanted to be done with it. I was also working another bartending job, and everythign was literally perfect other than the hours, honestly. I loved the product the distillery made, I loved the people I worked with, and most of all: I had my own regulars. Last month, they hired a new hospitality director, who announced there would be some restructuring, including getting rid of servers while also making a full dinner menu to serve alongside drinks. I said nothing of it, despite my disagreements, and she assured us all that no one would lose their jobs, but just moved into different roles. We all kinda grumbled about it, and I told her that under no circumstances would I work back of house. Easy peasy. Till it wasn't, and I came home to a voicemail while on break with my partner that I'd been let go due to the restructuring. So much for no one losing their jobs, right? I hadn't been the only victim of this. I have my suspicions as to why the new hospitality director did these things, but I've no energy to throw around conspiracies. All I know is that I was shafted by both of these places and I'm tired of being broke. I'm applying, still going to fight, and... sigh.

tl;dr (why did you click the readmore?): i left a job due to discrimination and lost another due to company restructuring and i'm tired and sad and aaaaa.

[mayisgoingnuts]

Enjoy a free pass to infodump about Roy and his parents 🎫

I am v curious about your thoughts :]

You heard them guys I got a free pass :D

ALSO I'M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG I FORGOT I PUT THIS IN DRAFTSS

Roy's parents

Uhh tw for family issues and a brief mention of S/A

Imma be honest, I feel like people see their relationship as either black or white when it's definitely NOT the case.

Black = Carmen and Richard are awful beings, they hate Roy, they won't let him do anything and would easily abandon him for money, I EVEN SAW SOME SAYING THAT THEY WOULDN'T CARE ABOUT ROY'S UNCLE. I'M SORRY I KNOW IT'S AU AND STUFF BUT,,, it makes me so so uncomfortable AAAAA

White = They're just quite arrogant and that's it, normal life and communication, nothing changes from a basic family besides the fact that Carmen and Richard are "ughh poor people". Also makes me uncomfy ngl, even tho it can be cute sometimes.

Both are ENTIRELY WRONG in my view.

First of all, (most of the cases, not all of them) no matter how much your parents suck, how much they treat you awfully or just are JERKS to you, if they did "the bare minimum", you'll stay attached to them no matter how much you don't want to. In Roy's case, I can see that they already spent a LOT of money on him and pretty sure that it already gave him good time and moments (plus gave him a nice childhood since when he was born his parents are pretty happy), so they're not 100% evil or bad. Plus, as much as he's scared, I can see that he also respects them in a way, otherwise he wouldn't even go through the "Can I say bye? You know, ehh?" scene, if he actually felt FEAR he wouldn't even open his mouth and much less sound that dry to them (personal experience cough cough)

Not to mention that Roy gets angry with people calling his mom a lady of the night, he wouldn't give 2 shits if he truly hated her ���

But they're definitely not oh so good either. They wouldn't communicate that easily if not at all, y'know those scenes where you have dinner with your parents and gets nothing but silence or, idk, the most boring conversations ever? Something like that, not to mention the obvious problem with accepting Roy's personality

AND TOWARDS ROY'S UNCLE. MY GOOOODDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAA IT MAKES ME GO CRAZY,, /NEG

I explained it before but saying it again, ROY'S PARENTS WOULDN'T JUST??? IGNORE???? OR VICTIM BLAME HIM EITHER?? PLEASE. The most realistic option here is having their support, and even there it wouldn't be all rainbows and such since they're not close. It would get a bit better between them? Definitely. 100%? Nuh-uh.

Carmen and Richard want the best for their son, a good future, a good life, a good job, good school, but they have an issue of not thinking about his emotional state and own personal tastes. Roy obviously get mad at them, get upset, but not now not today that he would say something like "I hope they die", and if he does he wouldn't mean it or would regret. Basically "I don't hate them, but I don't love love them either"

I feel like this sounds more like a rant than anything?? Sorry if it does, but I'm a bit tired to see people trying to explain their relationship in a black or white view when it's clearly not

[bella-rose29]

episode 4 commentary - Sweet Dreams

warnings: swearing, once again barely any of this is proper commentary it's just me calling everyone pretty and simping over their hands and arms, SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW AND BOOKS, when I have multiple of the same letter in a row (so like AAAAA) I have to press the key every single time (fun) so... idk why it's a warning but I felt like you just needed to know how excited I got

that's a funky headboard

omg I want her jumper

LOCKWOOD WITH THE ALICE IN WONDERLAND REFERENCE

that toast would have scared the shit out of me too Lucy dw

angry

concerned bbs

"we were not 'rescued'" and "stuck up mediocrities" will forever be iconic

"he lacks respect"

this whole scene always makes me laugh tbh

so many good quotes

"you take the lie, and you take Kipps' face and put them together--"

"and you just wanna watch him... die"

"please tell me there's tea" mood AND THEN HE'S THE ONE MAKING TEA

concerned bbs again

"you're just not rude enough to her, George"

the way he appears round that door 😭

FUCK OFF JOPLIN

hand

I will not be discussing the sound I made at lockwood sat in the chair after passing on the business card

Georgie no

spiky shoes

my dried mango I'm eating is so good

"pre-pleb?"

lockwood's so pretty omg

so is lucy

hmmmmmmmmmm lockwood

^^^

why does his mouth not move

also why was that hot

rainy taxi

hand

George looks so excited talking about the black market I love him

hand

George I love you

lockwood could your ego get any bigger (but also hehehe)

"proper honest blokes, real salt of the earth"

"you've never even spoken to them"

*pause* "yeah well they're a bit scary"

"go write a poem about it!" George you beautiful human being

showman speech! showman speech!

hand

BOBBY I CANT HEAR ANYTHING BUT BESHPOKELY NOW

"you will have my undivided attention" gbsgsukrhgosuruhgksh I would melt and then evaporate when he smiled

"no backbone this generation!"

"I am not filling out more forms" mood

he's so pretttyyyyyyyyy

NOT THE CAMERA SPINNING AROUND LIKE THE BONE GLASS

woo they have chains now!

lockwood is so angry

"it knows you're there" oh very comforting

bzzzzzzzzzzzz

JOPLIN GO AWAY

omg Lucy nooo

hehehe it's her bestie

touching locklyle moment of: "Luce, what's going on? are you okay?"

*George in the background* "WhERe'S mY LiGht?"

bestieeee

yeah well don't open it

"stand by" lockwood honey she's not in any state of mind to deal with this

Georgie nooooo

idk if it's a thing but the fact that lockwood was the only seemingly unaffected??? Lucy obviously has Listening, and George can do some of the Touch stuff, so does that mean they're more susceptible to psychic emotions? George had the nausea and Lucy had the headache and all the rest of it but lockwood was fine? idk

"all someone had to do was apply themselves!" iconic

DON'T FEEL EXCITED BITCH

GEORGIE NOOO

whoops

bit dusty now

BADASS BITCH MOMENTTTTTTT

THROW THAT RAPIER!!!!

heavily breathing lockwood 👀

hehehe bestieeee

already trying to get out lolllllll

oh no the boys are fighting :(

"you'd never bollock her like this would you"

tired-of-this-lockwood is one of my favourites I think

"iS iT tALkInG tO yOu nOw?"

oops

don't talk about the room

"clinically insane-" "really FUCKING powerful" I love them

"you gave her a free pass just 'cause you like the way she looks at you" ok 1) DUDE SAID THAT WITH LUCY IN THE ROOM I LOVE HIM and 2) honestly I am lockwood bc I too would give her a free pass if Lucy looked at me like 😍 (or even if she just looked at me tbh)

"I don't know what you're talking about" "yeah sure" I AM GEORGE IN THIS SITUATION

boy's angry

"why, 'cause you can't handle being my Tom Rotwell?" OOOO WHAT A BLOW TO THE EGO

THE MICROEXPRESSSIONS S SIESR0[HORUSHGOSRUHGOA CAMERON CHAPMAN THE MAN YOU AREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

sorry can you tell I love that bit

aw Georgie nooo

lanky boy

I WANNA GIVE HIM A HUGGGG :((((

Georgie noooo

IS THAT MARY WATSON

is that a FQD I see?

hehehe he's so silly

"he was a massive prick to me just now" he deserved that

awkward teens hehehe

SJRHGIUSRHGOURHSOUGHSEORIGJORS THIS SCENENEEEEEEE

TENDING TO WOUNDSSSSSSSSSSDSDIUSGHESIUHGOSUR H

"the real reason you might be here is to shine it on somebody else" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WHY AM I TEARING UP (I think it's the hormones actually)

HE IS SO BAD AT NOT LOOKING AT HER LIPS (me too)

his smileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

WHY AM I CRYING

WTF

HE LOOKED AT HER LIPS AGAIN

NOW THEY'RE TENDERLY HOLDING HANDS

NOT THE PINKY FINGER

NOT HIM LOOKING AT HER LIPS FOR THE THIRD TIME

omg the awkwardness after they sat in silence staring at each other and holding hands

ok but the fact they cut to george's room but showed it through the mirror on his wardrobe???????? omggggg deep analysis of when mirrors are used here we come

he's so pretty

peekaboo

not the biscuit 😭

"do not cross" *crosses*

he looks like a guilty child

he sounds like one too

"absolutely by the book" sure...

BOBBYYYYYYYY

heavily breathing lockwood hmmmmmmm

I'm sorry I can't take bobby Vernon seriously bc I just think of bobby (who isn't that small) and I laugh

I've had to pause it which is a problem bc it's gonna take me a while to get through this 😭

he's so smug omg 😭

"there you go, sir" with as much smugness as possible

screeching like a parrot at bobby's laugh

I actually can't stop laughing this is ridiculous

"yes, I do, actually" YOU SHOW THEM GEORGIE

"you sure you do?" "I know who that man is"

"this better be good Karim" *immediately aims his attack at bobby*

"they'll be glad of the work, but this is Phoenician" I AM A PROUD BESTIE JUST LIKE LOCKWOOD AND LUCY ARE IN THAT MOMENT

"bobby, just a hunch. something I read in a book, if you remember those" I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOUR

he's having so much fun being smarter than bobby Vernon and I love it

"thank you bobby, you've been a wonderful assistant"

*gets a shot of just him concluding his point like the DIs in death in paradise while looking awesome*

"shut up karim" "you thought it was a brewer!" ah, rivalry

lockwood looks so thin (like thinner than he normally does) he kinda looked like a cartoon I won't lie

barnes is so done

"shall we get hotdogs"

he's so smug

stop calling him irrelevant bestie

lucy's "oh for god's sake" in the background is me

"Quill Kipps, the walking appendix" ok 1) honey go to bed and 2) why was the way he said that kinda 👀🤭

lockwood seriously go to bed, your brain is clearly not functioning properly

"three less amateurs stumbling around" um kipps if you're going to insult them could you at least say fewer? (I'm a pedant just like lockwood)

"what the hell is he doing" "whatever the hell he wants" hehehe

[factual-fantasy]

I gots 21 moar ask :}

aaaaaaa I’m hanging in there as best I can-- also aaaa sorry for the lac of posts!! I’ve been so busy with life and trying to get part two of Bits and Pieces done aaaaa--

AAAAAAA Its almost done!! I got all of the line art done and it just needs to be colored!!

AAAAAAA I ONLY HAVE 8 CANVASES LEFT IM GOING AS FAST AS I CAN AAAAA---

@immortalwithoutaname​ (Comic in question)

XD Well we’ll see what it ACTUALLY is in a future comic.. :}}

(Also thank you! I’m glad you liked it! :}})

I have a comic planned that will address Roxy and Chica’s rocky relationship. So you’ll find out then!

(Comic in question)

Actually.. The Daycare Attendant never came back.

In the story he did go to an employee the next day. But they told him the same thing. “We cant find anything wrong with you, so go back to work”

Sunny knew they were full of crap. So he figured to keep everyone safe.. He would keep the lights on at all times and not leave the Daycare until he could fix himself.

..A few months have gone by now, and he still hasn’t left the safety of the Daycare.

..DJ’s worried sick.

I never really cared for it too much. That’s mostly why I made Sunny/Moony one person in my AU.

Having them be two separate characters sharing one body just got confusing. And I couldn’t see a reason why Fazbear Entertainment would want to have a dual AI animatronic like that.. So I just made him 1 person.

Also aaaaaaa nooooo my Gravity Falls art ehk-- 

My Chica’s eyes are almost identical to her “infected” eyes. The infected eyes are a bright toxic purple while her normal eyes are like a soft purple-ish pink.

@waffleking193  After part 2 of “Bits and Pieces” comes out, I plan to take the time to flesh out my AU and really organize the timeline.

If I decide to keep the part where Chica gets crushed by the trash compacter thingy, she will not have been lured in by Monty Mix. She would have been lured in by a pizza.

Because in my AU, its just food in general that Chica wants to eat. And Pizza is the thing she is most consistently recognizes.

I hate it :/

Nothing against Jack Black and Chris Pratt, but I really hate them for the voices of Mario and Bowser. And although I haven’t heard the voices of the other characters, I imagine I’m gonna hate them too.

Kamek’s voice was alright though, and Toads could’ve been worse. But I just couldn't get over Mario and Bowser.

The ONLY way I will be 100% fine with Mario is if they go with the Storyline of Mario being some random guy from Brooklyn or something that got transported into the mushroom kingdom. If they try to sell him as Italian I will be ANGRY

Also there’s nothing you can do to make me like Jack black as Bowser, I just keep hearing Po from Kung fu Panda. When ever Bowser talks he loses all of his intimidation.

Uhg and I bet they’re gonna make Bowser witty and quirky and the awkward comic relief character and whatever instead of the intimidating ruler that he is.

aaaaa other than the animation I’m so disappointed and have no hooopeeee

XD I saw the results. Honestly not surprised in the slightest that Sans won.

In all honesty, if Sans was in the poll and DIDN’T win? I would be shocked and super confused. XD

Tbanks bro

Oh gosh eww you found my Gravity Falls content oh no--

Anyway although I still ADORE that show and all of its characters, I haven’t drawn Gravity Falls stuff in a long time :/

*Part 3 --

And maybe! I haven’t forgotten about it. Just hit a brick wall in the planning process and am still sitting on it :/

@ar1-thecat​ 

I have SO many things I wanna draw like Mario and Luigi brother stuff and Sky OCs and Splatoon OCs and Kirby OCs but I REALLY want to wait until part 2 of “Bits and Pieces” is done before I draw all that but life keeps getting in the way and I keep getting busy and keep getting really tired and unmotivated to work and I wanna play slime rancher 2 and Pokémon legends Arceus and Splatoon 3 and Sky but I gotta wait until part 2 is done but life keeps getting in the way and I keep getting busy and I k 

They probably wouldn’t tease Freddy about being Gregory’s dad/Freddy adopting him. Since Freddy, being a robot, standing in for a human parental figure doesn’t really.. compute for them.

BUT, they would definitely tease Freddy for being Gregory’s “favorite”. :}

@sighlentknight 

They have not, but they have heard of her. Gregory told them both all about her and what happened when he came to the Pizzaplex that night.

They do not like Vanessa.

@hugsandchaos​ 

@blue0fox Awww! Thank you! I’ve never gotten a compliment on my Gregory before! <:’DD 💗

@milk-post oooo those are good ideas! :0

@hugsandchaos​ I always imagined that Kwazii turned away from his life of pirating by choice. I favor of being a lieutenant on the Octopod and helping sea creatures. As to how he did all that I have no idea--

Also somewhat unrelated but I liked to imagine that Calico Jack was proud of Kwazii for his decision, despite being all about that pirate life. I imagined that he would talk to Kwazii and be like.

“Just look at ya lad. Dedicatin’ yer life to helpin others. Yer really somethin Kwazii. Yer the best of all of us.”  😭

XD Spoiler alert, yes, Emmet will be fine. I’m not THAT cruel XD

[tumblunni]

Bunni plays Richard and Alice, and gets an ending, and DIES INSIDE, WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

* okay seriously i was COMPLETELY WRONG about every expectation i had, holy fucking shit

* In the end the final flashback was EVEN WORSE than I ever expected, oh god i wanna throw up! I don’t know if things could have gone differently due to my choices, but the way it went down this time was just... oh god... “I am gonna bawl my eyes out if Barney dies” HEY YOU KNOW WHAT’S EVEN WORSE THAN THAT?? He was dying and his mother had to mercy kill him so he wouldnt suffer What the fuck, what the holy everyloving fuck jesus christ god no The only choice i had in the matter was that i gave him back his toy car to hold while he fell asleep, and then it appeared on his grave at the ending and i got a few extra lines of continuity hoping that Barney is going on an adventure with Daddy in his big ol car... Fuck fucking christ god no oh godddd

* and like HEY LETS JUST RUB SOME SALT IN THE WOUND apparantly the grave we were visiting all this time was empty cos nobody could even find her husband’s body so like.. she doesnt even have the consolation of knowing they’ll be together in death

* oh and DEAR GOD there was a REALLY ATMOSPHERIC scene before it really fucking surreal and confusing oh god you’re just left with the dying barney sitting there on the floor and no choice and no items except your gun and i knew right them what i was supposed to do but i tried to leave and backtrack and find anything that could help and then all you can do is return to that empty church and find that it isnt empty anymore there’s some weird nameless faceless grandpa hiding in the confessional booth, and you can talk to him about this horrible horrible story and your horrible horrible choice and you never get to actually see who he is or anything but i choose to believe he actually did want to help, and all.. the conversation with him helped it be a little less painful at least

* and then you just go back to the empty grave marking your dead husband, and you have a horrible scene of her breaking down and yelling at him cos she knows he’d believe she’s stronger than this, and he’d tell her not to kill herself, but she really wants to die if she has to take her son’s life and god, she talks about how she attempted suicide once before from depression back when they first married, and he saved her from doing it, and now she wishes she could have died back then and never brought her son into the world if he’s just gonna suffer like this oh godddddd

* and then we get back to the present day and its all ‘aww richard really cares about you’ and ‘oh that silly richard being a comic relief’ and ‘hooray we managed to escape’ and then THE BIGGEST FUCKING EVIL PLOT TWIST HOLY JESUS FUCK

* richard i have never wanted to reach thru a screen and strangle a man more than this moment jesus fuck

* mr purposely vague ‘oh im just a generic good guy’ protagonist was lying THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME and god its even worse cos like all of his personality was still real he’s a sick fuck who THINKS he’s a good guy, and tries to be all friendly like, and just like.. compartmentalizes it away in the back of his head and pretends he hasn’t committed this damn sin, that he still counts as good if he’s just ~polite~

* FUCK SERIOUSLY MAN I have never been so terrified to hear the word brussel sprouts! I didnt even think to mention the brussel sprouts line back when I heard it! you just hear one of the gang members mention some stupid folksy idiom about brussel sprouts during the flashbacks I should have fucking known it was richard, it fits with his goddamn fake good guy persona! he slips up and mentions it after you leave the prison, he doenst know you heard him say it before GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU YOU SICK FUCK

* and like.. well.. at least it seems I was wrong about the cannibalism. Or at least, as far as richard knows they werent doing that to the victims. But it feels like he didnt know or care what happened to the people he kidnapped, all part of his strategy to put it out of mind and pretend he’s still the good guy... But GOD thats kinda EVEN WORSE that we dont even know what they were doing to the victims! Richard says they were ‘kept in relative comfort’ and compares it to being in this prison. ‘At least they had food and clothes, they wouldnt have that outside’. YEAH BUT YOURE FUCKING KEEPING THEM AS SLAVES AND POSSIBLY *SEX SLAVES* AND GOD JESUS FUCKING CHRIST And we get a partial answer to what happened to the kids from that diary. Apparantly Lucy was (for some reason) valued very highly as a slave, so much so that they’d actually pay the expense of finding insulin to keep her alive. Thats what makes me think it might have been sex slavery, i mean.. they’re valuing this one child slave higher than the rest. The other theory is that maybe Lucy was actually Richard’s daughter that he mentioned as his excuse for working for this gang, he says he was ensured that his family would be kept safe as long as he sacrificed other people... God its so fucked up. And then he tries to justify it to Alice by saying blablabla we do what we have to do to survive and morality is relative and ohhhh we’re not the bad guys i mean they’d suffer more if they died in the cold compared to living longer in pain and slavery AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS???

* i got THE FUCKIN WORST ENDING, JESUS CHRIST somehow my choices during my first run led to an ending where alice agrees to join richard’s shit gang i cant even blame her for it, she was fuckin mentally shattered by having to euthanise her son and then she had a scrap of hope with an apparant friendship with an apparantly moral man and then he fucking turns out to be this sort of shit and she has no reason to keep going and i suppose this is technically ‘good’ cos she decided to live, but she also decided to be led away by a manipulative fuckass and join an evil slavery cult and god she probably feels like she’s already a ‘sinner’ cos of what she did to her kid so she belongs with them GAHHHH this is a story of a villain who’s convinced he’s good, and a good person who’s convinced she’s a villain! T_T

* I hope I can find a better ending to this...

* I hope there’s an ending where richard gets bitchslapped in the face with a two-by-four

* Seriously did i just get this ending because I tried to act like a decent friend to Richard and then just SUDDEN TWIST he was evil the whole time and GAHHHH

* fuck you richard fucking fuck you dont deserve top billing in the title

[achoonihaachu]

God Must Hate Me; The Second Ending

a/n: it's been a while since i updated this series aaaaa i got quite wrapped up in the requests and i've still got so many lined up! i hope you end up liking this update though! i plan on revealing what happened to merihem when the brothers got a hold of him ;DD

warning: lots of cursing, fighting, implications of a*sault (fuck u merihem), lots of crying and yelling, not proof read!

pairings: pairings: Simeon x mc, Solomon x mc, Diavolo x mc, Barbatos x mc, Demon Brothers x mc (individually), Luke x mc (PLATONIC!), MC x Fem!OC

reminder: y'know what,, put yourself first. don't let yourself lose out on life just because you feel like you'd be safer if you continue loving wholeheartedly. self-love is the best kind of love <33 stay safe out there ilya! <33

-----

You hummed as you stared at them in disbelief, “Sorry?” They all stare at you, “No, you’re not sorry that you did this. You- You’re all sorry because it spun out of control too quickly.” You were quick to blink away the tears welling up in your eyes. You face the door once more.

You let out this sound between a tired laugh and a scoff, “You’ve always been this way, you know? I’ve had to pick up the broken pieces and I’m left with nothing but empty apologies and half-assed thank yous. You’ve hurt me.” You say, you attempt to sound brave. Perhaps it was for your heart to start mending itself.

Your hand held the cold doorknob tightly; How far could you go if you tried to make a run for it now?

You wouldn’t be able to go far, unfortunately. Barbatos alone could find you in five minutes.

You steel yourself and take a deep breath before you look back at the group, “I’ve been beaten down, taken for granted, been unloved and unwanted. If I were crueler than I am, I would’ve used the pacts to punish you.” At the mention of them, the pacts burned; seared your skin and theirs but the pain you felt was only a fraction of how you’ve been feeling for months.

They wince and avert their gazes- Not even Lucifer, Pride’s physical form, had the audacity to meet your eye at that moment.

You raised an eyebrow, “What? Now you’re all quiet? That’s honestly laughable. Where’s the begging? The crying? More empty promises and half-assed fucking apologies. I may be human but I’m not fucking stupid.” You seethed.

You were met with more silence.

Diavolo got up from his seat and slowly made his way to you. His hands were outstretched and he radiated an aura of sympathy and honest concern. You, too blinded by your rage, turned to blink at him once and when he was close enough-

You slap him across the face, so hard that he staggers back.

Barbatos is quick to rush to his Master’s side but the redhead waves him off, “No, I think I deserved that as much as any of the brothers.”

“You brought me here. You all made me feel special and you were the ones to break my heart. God, I’m so.. Stupid… Huh, that’s a little funny, yeah? God exists and yet he watched from above, on his golden throne, as I let myself get shit on over and over by a bunch of fucking demons.”

Your hands are in your hair as you tugged lightly; You must’ve looked crazy but in all honesty, you didn’t give a damn.

Lucifer shoots up from his seat, eyebrows knitted in concern, “(MC) please calm down-”

You genuinely chortle in shock, “Calm down? You want me to calm down?!” Your eyes well up with tears as salty as brine. “No, you don’t get to tell me when to calm down, Morningstar, lest you want me to remind you of the literal wrath baby you birthed when you fell from grace.”

A nasty dig but again, Lucifer bit his tongue; He had no right to get angry.

Your eyes held such an anger that had even Satan cowering in fear. Never has he seen such arrant rage from anyone, much less a mortal being.

“None of you deserve the time of day; I don’t have to listen to any of your excuses.” You mutter quietly. You glance around the room as fat tears roll down your cheeks.

Mammon glances at Satan; His younger brother had doubled over, his claws tearing through his favorite green sweatshirt. This was the effect your emotions had on them- on their Sins. They had only experienced small jolts of adrenaline when you indulged in their sins throughout the time you’d spent with them. His eyes meet yours and they plead with you- a muted apology as he begs with you.

Please forgive them- forgive him.

You look away, “I want to go home. Now.” The brothers eye each other nervously, wasn’t this your home- Oh. You must mean Purgatory Hall. It seems you haven’t forgiven them at all. Lucifer breathes out a sigh of disappointment, “Right, Well- Solomon, Simeon. You can go get Luke from (MC)’s old room and you can all head home-”

“No, Purgatory Hall isn’t my home either.”

Their heads snap to your direction; It’s not Purgatory Hall? Where did you want to go- No. Your hands were balled up into fists as you kept your head hung low, “I want to go back to the Human World. I- I want to forget this realm-” You were cut off by a force slamming into your body at full force as it wrapped you up in its warmth.

Mammon wrapped you up in his warm embrace.

You attempted to shove him off as he weeped into your hair; Your arms flailed as you moved to escape his hold, “Let go of me, Mammon.” You were dangerous; Your voice held a sense of… Well, it’s hard to explain. To help paint a picture of it, not even the strongest of the demons would try to instigate a fight with you.

“No! You’re not allowed to leave us- to leave me! We- You promised…” The second-born cried but his arms twitched and dropped to his side immediately. He was bound by the contract you shared. The promise he made to listen to your every order, your every whim- He could never disobey you. He cried out in pain as his skin burned. Your hatred burned so harshly. You shook him off of you like a dog would shake its fur to rid of water. He stumbled back and covered his mouth to silence the cries escaping his lips.

Funny how he still managed to hurt you.

Yuki’s movement was small and fearful, each step she took weighed heavily on her consciousness- She’s the reason for all of this. “(MC). Please don’t go… Please don’t punish them any further- I… I can leave. I’ll leave and I’ll never come back to bother any of you.”

Your eyes were like sharp broken glass; reflecting in the light from the salty tears that threatened to fall but they held such a strong sense of power that if looks could kill, everyone in the room would be dead three times over.

At that moment you didn’t hear Yuki, your best friend- The girl who’d give anything to make you happy. No, you were in the middle of the ocean, drowning from the massive sea of betrayal that kept pushing you underneath the surface- You weren’t given a moment to breathe and though she meant no harm… She was your enemy.

“Oh no, no, no! Please save all that pity for yourselves. I don’t need last minute kindness. You lied to me. All of you lied to me; Even the ever kind and honest Simeon lied to me.”

“(MC), do you really want to leave? Do you wish to go back to the human realm?” Barbatos’ voice cut through the tension; It was getting a little hard to breathe. You stared him down, he never once faltered. You nod once, “With all due respect, and I mean that very sarcastically,”

“Let me go the fuck back home.”

Barbatos glances at his master, who has no other choice but to comply, “Alright then. Solomon, Simeon… We’re going to need your help with the process.”

As the Prince, his butler, and the two exchange students from Purgatory Hall worked to create… something to help aid in erasing your memories, you were left in agonizing silence with the brothers and Yuki.

You sat on a sofa away from them, your knees were brought up to your chest and your arms were wrapped tightly around yourself; Were you really going to spend your last few moments here angry?

“Perhaps… In another life, we would have a chance to make things right between us all. I loved you all so much, more than I loved myself at times but… I need to put myself first. I can’t keep risking my health, my life, to keep you happy.” You said; They listened intently, they hung onto every word you said.

It’d be the last few things you’d tell them before you left.

“All I asked was for you to love me and appreciate me for who I am and for all that I’ve done for you. If… If you had just been honest with me, if you had just stopped being selfish for just one moment… What happened with Merihem today would have never happened and I… I would’ve probably forgiven you.”

“You never gave me a reason to trust you after you replaced me so… Maybe in my next life or the life that follows that, we’ll meet again and…”

“Maybe then you’d treat me right.”

Quiet whines and snivels filled the air; The group was lachrymose. Before any of them could move or say anything, Simeon walked back into the room with a poignant smile, “It’s time.”

You got up from the couch and looked around the common room; you’d spent the best years of your life with these people and in a few moments, you wouldn’t even know who they were. You fished your D.D.D out of your pocket and removed the password, “I’ve had something written for all of you… This was a while back and all I ask is that you only read it once I go back home.” you leave the phone on the couch and keep your eyes trained on Simeon.

Never once did you look back at them.

You see Luke’s little head peek from the stairs and for a moment, you felt weak; Were you really sure about leaving them behind? Luke runs down the steps with ocean eyes, he wraps his arms around you one final time.

“Simeon told me… D-Don’t worry about me, (MC)! I’ll make sure to protect your dreams! When I’m older, I’ll visit you and I’ll make you remember me, okay?!” He cried; Luke’s young but his heart has never ever felt this sensation before. He felt like crying over a loss that has never happened.

He wasn’t losing you to death or to time. He didn’t even get the chance to convince you to stay; He just… had to live with it. He was caught in the crossfire.

You bit your cheek so hard that you started to taste the familiar metallic flavor of your blood, “I’ll see you around, okay? Behave yourself and… and never stop practicing your baking skills.” you whispered quietly to the young angel. His grip tightens on your clothing and Simeon had to physically pull him away.

You walk through corridors and hallways filled with bittersweet memories and lessons you learnt. You grew up a lot in the time you knew them and a part of you… wanted to continue growing with them; A part of you wanted to grow old here in the Devildom but how could you when you were being treated this way?

It may seem dramatic to others; Hell, you felt as though the brothers themselves were judging you for your actions.

They haven’t lived through the nightmare you woke up to every single day.

In a small room near the back of the castle was one of Barbatos’ special rooms- a room he uses to travel through time in. It was cramp and dark, save for the tiny candelabra in the corner of the room that illuminated the faces of those with you. Solomon, Diavolo, Barbatos.

You eyed Diavolo’s red cheek, “I- I’m sorry about that by the way. I… I wanna tie all the loose ends before I leave this place, y’know?” Your voice was softer than before; perhaps it was Luke’s effect on you. In all honesty, it was probably because you just didn’t want Luke to hear any sort of fighting.

Diavolo smiled apologetically at you,” It’s alright, (MC). We… I will miss you dearly.” He states as he motions for Barbatos to hand you something. In the hands of the demon butler was a clear elixir bottle and the liquid in it glowed a beautiful purple color. It looked like the most pure of amethyst crystals and small shiny particles that were reminiscent of falling snowflakes.

“You must drink as you step through the door. I made it so that you won’t have to deal with side effects; You’ll just forget us and…” Solomon paused and cleared his throat. He turned his back on you and he stared at the middle candle in the candelabra.

“We’ll see you around, (MC).”

A moment passed and you stared at the bottle; God, you were mesmerized. Should you even drink it? Did you want to go?

You… You may not want to but… You needed to.

You step close to an opened door that leads to white. It wasn’t bright and blinding. It was blank and Barbatos stood by the door, hand wrapped around the doorknob, “You can still turn back, (MC).”

You sigh and shake your head, a somber expression resting on your face, “Thank you for everything, Barbatos.”

You uncork the bottle, a small satisfying pop! echoes like your heartbeat in your eardrums. You place a foot through the door. It felt soft, like a plush cloud. Taking a swig of the sweet liquid, you swallow it all in one gulp. Your feet move on their own, taking your body through the doorway. You never turn back.

The door shuts softly behind you.

It was a feeling between life and death; Perhaps this was the fabled purgatory you’d hear of. No, Barbatos wouldn’t kill you. You close your eyes and let yourself be engulfed by the warmness of wherever you were. Your heart felt lighter almost immediately, your mind started to cloud and your body felt light.

Barbatos- Wait.. Who-?

It was so bright.

You crack open one eye and stare straight at your ceiling. What happened last night? All you could come up with is that you had a bit too much to drink and now… Great! You were going to be late for that job interview! You groan to yourself as you shuffled around your apartment.

Where were those painkillers…

You rush down your apartment building, bumping into your landlord on your way out; He was a sweet redhead, a bit of a himbo but he was nice, “Sorry about that, Dee! I’m late for an interview! I’ll buy ya drinks if I get the job!” You called out as you ran out the building.

A new clothing boutique opened up just a couple of minutes away from where you lived. They seemed quite specific about the people that were going to apply to work and you just seemed to fit the bill.

The last two years of your life have been such a blur; College life, traveling and well, moving into the neighborhood you were in had taken a toll on you and it felt like.. Well, it felt like none of it ever happened.

Your diploma was hanging by your bed, polaroids of you with your college friends were hung on fairy lights, and a handful of plane tickets were stuck to your journal… You’ve made so many amazing memories.

You walked into the clothing boutique, it was called Jophiel, and the first person to greet you was this bubbly champagne-haired guy. First thing you noticed about him was… Damn, he had such nice skin. He seemed sweet enough. He never told you his name but he was quite chatty about the type of customers and how you’d fit in just perfectly in the store… He leads you to his manager’s office and quite frankly… the manager scared you just a tad bit.

He wasn’t a burly man or anything, he was tall and had neatly styled hair but… Something about his aura…

It screamed power and influence.

“Hi! My name’s (MC). I got an email back from my application. I’m here for my interview.” You say warmly. The ravenette eyed you, his lips parted like he had something to say but before you could question it, he grinned at you, tight-lipped, as he motioned for you to take a seat.

“Welcome to Jophiel, (MC). My name’s–”

Back in the Devildom five brothers, an angel, and a sorcerer were huddled by the fireplace. One held a phone in their hands whilst the others listened like he spoke God’s words.

The last note you had left on your D.D.D. You’d been gone for about 3 months. They didn’t have the courage to see what you last left them. This was it. This was all they were going to have left of you.

Yuki…She had gone home a week ago. Her departure was bittersweet. They had managed to grow quite close when you decided to leave but she would never be you and the brothers were painfully aware that the comparisons and the what-ifs left quite the strain on their relationships with the human girl.

She never fussed about it though. She understood.

Now, the House of Lamentation was empty again; Well, not empty per se but the people that once made the house feel alive again were gone. All that was left was the ghost of you and the memories you had made.

The memories you once shared.

With shaky hands, Mammon, as the second oldest, was tasked to let the group read your last note. He switched your D.D.D on and he feels his eyes prick with tears at your wallpaper. It was you, with him and his brothers… You all looked so happy.

He scrolls through old versions of the apps you used to go on every single day. No one has touched your accounts in the last three months, no one tried to mess with what you decided to leave behind.

He finds the last note entitled, “I’m really sorry”. You had written it down a few weeks before the whole ordeal with Merihem.

“Hi! If you’re reading this, then I must’ve done something rather stupid (or rather smart on my end). Before anything, I want to apologize for whatever must’ve happened between us. I’m happier here in Purgatory Hall than I’ve been in the last few months that I had to deal with when I lived with all of you and Yuki. Never once did it cross my mind that perhaps it’d be good if I start hating any of you. My heart is so full of love that is only really split amongst you brothers and of course my other friends here in the Devildom. I never really looked forward to going back home to the human realm after I was done with my first year here and to think… I was given another chance to be with the people I cared about the most.

I didn’t expect you all to replace me though.

But it’s alright! I… I understand why you must’ve been drawn to Yuki. She’s such an amazing person and I hope that one day soon-

We’ll be able to mend our relationship because I miss you dearly.

- all the love, (MC).”

The House of Lamentation was dismal after the note; How dare they hurt you after all that but they won’t give up on you just yet.

Lucifer, Diavolo, and Asmodeus had the first shift.

They’ll get their second chance.

“Welcome to Jophiel, (MC). My name’s Lucifer. The guy up front’s Asmo. Of all the applicants here, your record’s the best. You excelled in the last two years of college; you managed to do quite a lot in the last two years, huh?”

“Lucifer?... That’s a lovely name. I’m flattered, honestly! The last two years have been an absolute blur but it’s been a blast!”

A blur, huh? That was all they were to you now.

Lucifer kept his smile bright and cheery; If any of his brothers saw him cheesing this hard, they would’ve mocked him to the ends of the Earth. Seeing you after months of no contact… It was just great to see that you were doing well. It was enough.

“I-I’m really sorry, Lucifer. You just… remind me of someone but I just can’t put a finger on it.”

“Is that so? Well, I hope that this interview goes well. I could probably help you jog your memory into remembering him.” He teases.

You laugh quietly, “I believe that the people you don’t end up remembering were forgotten for a reason… I hope you aren’t anything like whoever I’m thinking of! You seem… nice.”

The Avatar of Pride’s smile falters but it’s quick to return to his face, albeit it came out as forced now, “Well, no need to dwell on people in the past. We’re always heading to the future now, aren’t we? Let’s get this interview started.”

You go back home, you forget the brothers but-

how do you let go when someone continues to hold on?

~~~

taglist for those who asked to be tagged:

@edible-sushi , @knmsapplepi , @kxyren , @its-dari , @izukulus , @farysblog , @atinyidea-bon , @affecteddream , @yunbedo , @raven-darkessence , @crystal-freak24 , @gallantys , @xfatefulmistyx , @crystalmystery , @another-one-again , @moni-sama , @giulia2372 , @mattxxamryli , @seaseachan , @airserylunalol , @mammonsleftkidney , @sasarii , @voidanon69 , @a-dorkier-book-keeper , @ikkomori , @chiefarcadesuujt , @mammonssheep , @ymjay , @milumine-draws , @beanybunzz , @marvelous-maniac , @setsubon , @v0id1nq , @lonely–witch , @trappola-caramel , @star-child-love , @siniy606 , @ymjay, @0willowwisp0 , @yunbedo , @thirteenhub , @blessyblade8 , @niallerhere , @zero-nightshade , @my-comfort-space , @fangirlinindia , @bless-you-1220 , @xiaos-so , @genodesu , @moontofuu , @tjjjrsj , @cecxliia , @pricklycacti , @crierofirony , @duttydestroyer , @welcometodemonschoolfan , @ashebutimproved , @disgusting-simp, @justinelouise

crossed out names are of those who asked to be tagged but for some reason, i just couldn’t tag you! :<< i’m not sure if it’s because some of you are private accounts, im not even sure how tumblr works sometimes but i’m sorry! i’ll keep trying to tag you in the future! <33

[space-croww-blog]

Why the fuck is sleeping a thing???

Like??? I could get so much done??? If I didn’t have to sleep????

But NO I have to lay unconsciously for hours doing absolutely nothing.

If I stay awake long enough can I build an immunity to sleeping??

[distortedataraxia]

If requests are open, I hope it's okay if I request a matchup 🥺 I'm a bisexual transdude. I'm a pretty big introvert, if I go to big social things, I will need like a full day to myself at least after it or else I will have an emotional breakdown from being burnt out. Despite that, I'm a childcare worker and I adore my kids so much, little ones are my specialty. It's my dream to be a dad one day! I'm a very domestic person, my hobbies include cooking, baking, and drawing. I'm also super into fashion and like looking good whenever I go out. A malewife, some would say /hj.

I'm a big people pleaser with social anxiety, so I tend to be reserved and overly polite when I first meet people. This also tends to make me a bit of a doormat. If you mistreat me, I'll of course be upset, but I'll bottle it up and won't voice my complaints because I hate confrontation. Plus I'm an angry crier and I hate crying in front of people. I constantly have the attitude of "I'M TIRED OF BEING NICE. I'M GONNA GO APESHIT." But I never go apeshit because I need everyone to like me so much all the time.

I'm super loosened up around friends though so I can be sarcastic, teasing, and cuss quite a bit. I tend to have a bit of dark... Dazai-esque humor sometimes, it's a habit, not as bad as it used to be. I'm also pretty dirty minded lol. Also, if my loved ones need something, my anxiety will go out the window, I'd fight anyone for them.

aaaaa this is getting long so I'm so sorry, I'll just state a few more facts

- I love anything horror. Movies, video games, haunted houses, esc.

- My cats are my babies and are at the top of my Favorite People list. I like all animals though!

- I'm punk-eque I guess with a love of rock n' roll, motorcycles, and tattoos. I am my father's son lmao.

- I have a big weakness for anything cute. I have impulsively spent $20 on a bunny plush. Help.

- That being said, I'm usually super cautious with money and encourage others to do the same.

- One time I cried after killing an ant bc I put myself in its shoes and "Oh my god, he was just walking around and living his life. And now it's gone. He's just suddenly DEAD. Oh my god."

Ummm I think that's it. I really enjoy your writing and you seem really nice and I hope you have a good day ❤️

Author note : Hello !! I'm so so so so so sorryyyyyyy for the time i took to work on your request - I haven't been active at all and i don't feel like i have any valid excuse, just me being emo/20 lol. Anyways I'm sorry this is rushed and i'll doubt you'll see this but i'll do it anyways,- still sorry ! You have a good day too and take care ! 💜also i didn't know if you wanted to be paired with a girl or a boy so i just did whatever came to my brain as other people are waiting - I'm sorry this is completly my fault TT-TT If you wanted to be paired with the other gender you can request to me again that won't bother me! I won't make you wait months-long this time... I think 🥲

I pair you with.....

Ranpo!

I can already see you looking at horror movies with him with A LOT OF FOOD- Ranpo also likes cats so i'm sure you'll take care of some together - Ranpo likes to play video games too as he plays some with yosano, i'm sure he'll find a lot of time for you and him to play together ! if you go to Haunted houses together, i'm sure he'd be amused by your reactions as he already figured out where everything is and what will happen.. Or maybe he can be taken by surprise..? Who knows - that's for you to imagine ! As he is really smart no shit sherlock he will probably figure out when something is bothering you so you won't even have to say it ! I'm sure this man will beg you to bake or cook things for him and then will eat almost everything in the blink of an eye - Goodluck with that! Ranpo will be careful with you, i can already imagine a dramatic plot where one of your loved one is in danger and it's too dangerous for you and he's gonna save them but you find out and he tries to stop you from going there and then idk boom drama and- yeah -

[delicatejisung]

MORE PROTECTIVE RENJUN BECAUSE WE LOVE A MAN WHO CAN PROTECT HIS LADY AND DO ANYTHING FOR HIS LADY SJDNDBDB

aaaaa i hope this reached your expectation bc my brain is literally just fried rn shdhdhd

“i think i need something sweet, my head kinda hurts and i’m getting dizzy.” yanna mumbled, walking towards where renjun was inside the practice room before holding unto the mirrored wall and leaning on her arm a bit.

to make the long story short, yanna’s started to prepare for something big coming up. and as part of the preparation, sm has instructed her to go on a diet to tone her arms and thighs aside from the neverending practices. the girl, not wanting to mess it up, has been very obedient about it. ignoring how it’s worrying the people around her, specially her boyfriend.

“maybe you need rest and actual food, not something sweet.” the boy mumbled right back, making yanna look at him a little bit before pushing herself off the wall.

“i’m fine! look, i can even jump high.” she said smugly, jumping up and down a bunch of times before turning her back on him to grab his phone and ask their manager to bring her some candy.

“great, he said he’ll bring it in a few.” the girl happily mumbled, giving renjun her phone before walking towards the center again to rehearse. after a few minutes of going over the steps, she pulled renjun with her to help her with the other parts of the choreography involving a partner. as yanna spinned around one time, renjun definitely felt how she held on to him tighter for a second and closed her eyes.

“stop straining yourself.” he said in a hard and serious tone, making the girl stop dancing before nodding a bit. she inhaled a couple of times, looking around as she felt a bit restless.

“here’s your candy, kid.” one of their managers said, arriving and making his way towards yanna who was now leaning her back against the wall once again.

“why aren’t you practicing? do you really wanna embarrass yourself in front of the heads?” their manager said a bit harshly, making renjun’s blood boil a bit. he understood, he really did. but also, he can only understand so much when it involves risking yanna’s health. he has spoken up so much about it and yet no one listened to him considering yanna’s still able to rehearse everyday while also almost eating nothing at the dorms.

“stop pressuring her, she’s been practicing all day.” he reasoned out for the girl, noticing how she looked a bit spaced out. he slowly walked over to the girl, alarmed.

“you’re aware they can cancel this anytime, right? do you really want all of this to go to waste just because your girlfriend’s being-“ he immediately stopped, noticing yanna falling and renjun running up quickly to catch her. their eyes widened at the sight of yanna in the boy’s arms.

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO PRESSURE HER.” he raised his voice, enough to pour out his frustration at the whole situation.

as the girl woke up inside the van, on the way to the hospital, she was utterly confused. even more so, seeing renjun’s face in a frown.

“sure, drive slower and deprive her of iv shots too.” he mumbled a bit loud, enough for their manager to hear. yanna could only reach out her hand a bit to his face but was stopped by the boy who grabbed it and moved it away.

“why am i getting iv shots?” she asked, still confused.

“because you fucking fainted.” he replied in an angry tone, making yanna widen her eyes.

“you’re mad at me because i fainted?” she carefully asked, making renjun look at her but still with a frown on his face.

“i’m mad at you, because you don’t listen to me. you could’ve hurt your head because of that stupid diet forcing you to eat less and less and those non-stop practicing you’ve been doing. what do you think you getting hurt would’ve done to me?” he said in all seriousness, making the girl look down. renjun sighed, feeling a bit bad about scolding the girl when she was probably already stressed out.

“i’m sorry, just... listen to me about this. i’m just trying to take care of you.” he mumbled a bit, kissing yanna’s forehead as she nodded.

“she’s not gonna listen to you because she has to get back as soon as we leave the hospital.” the manager said, making yanna close her eyes instead. already feeling lightheaded hearing she still has to practice.

“no, i won’t let her.” renjun bravely said, annoyed once again.

“that’s not a choice for you to make.” the manager replied, making the boy scoff.

“i don’t care, she’s not stepping foot in that room again today nor tomorrow.” he insisted, making yanna a bit alarmed yet unsure if she should talk. she could only close her eyes once again, still feeling a bit weak (like my writing smh this sucked).

bonus fluff:

renjun carried yanna, bridal style, to make sure she wouldn’t tire herself out walking.

“stop enjoying this so much. you could be overfatigued, you know.” the boy mumbled, making yanna smiled a bit before hiding it.

“i’m not enjoying this, who said i was?” she said while also clinging to the boy’s neck further.

“you really don’t understand emergency rooms.” the boy mumbled as yanna could only snort tiredly.

“can’t really focus, your hand’s sort of on my bu—“

“yanna!” he scolded the girl, making her smile before the boy placed her on one of the hospital beds inside the emergency room.

[obeymematches]

Hello! May I request for a matchup?

I am a bisexual, Demigirl ENFP-T personality type.

I'd say I'm somewhat independent but would love to have someone by my side to happily live with, I find trust as something that is very important and due to past reasons it can be difficult to earn my full trust. I try to always be a reasonable and mature person, but I can get irritated at a few things (like LGBTQ+ discrimination, racism or plain asshole stupidity) that can tick off a temper, but usually I'm a person of patience, though if I do get really angry then I'm gonna also end up having a mental breakdown later -. I'm fine with waiting and am usually very forgiving. Religiously I'm an atheist, technically ex-christian due to family reasons. I come from Estonia, so I'm bilingual with English and Estonian but am also learning Russian and German. (Thinking of learning Japanese one day too)

I'm a rather fidgety person, fingers always have to be doing something, I can also have rather terrible memory sometimes with things and can forget.

I have low self confidence and self worth, usually struggle to be optimistic and can be rather emotional, also often an absolute empath when it comes to fictional characters for example.

I can be a workaholic and can be terrible at taking care of myself, I easily lose track of time and can forget to eat at times, also have a fuzzy appetite so sometimes I might not want to eat anything at all. I care alot about other people's well being though, for me appearance doesn't matter, I care for the personality and think everyone is beautiful in their own way. I am a short chubby brunette with a boy haircut and brown eyes, my hair is often thick and poofy and sometimes hell to take care of, due to some health reasons I have an itchy scalp and have to often scratch my head. My fashion depends on just if the clothes are comfortable to wear in the moment, that's it. I wear glasses due to a bit of a negative in my sight.

I sometimes struggle to have a balanced sleep schedule and am often stressed.

I hold a strong love for animals and the nature around us. I especially love cats and reptiles and own a cat and a leopard gecko who I would die for.

Fiction is an important part of my life, the moment I get interested in in some show or franchise you can expect me to become an absolute nerd for it, (good example is Pokemon.) I am the type to analyze characters and really care about everything. Books, shows, movies, theatre, anything goes. I really also love music, 60% of the time you can find me listening to music somewhere, maybe even singing, I multitask alot too. My music taste depends on what connections I make to fictional media, especially that of my own, aka stories and characters I've created. My mind is always going like a 1000km/h with all types of thoughts, my own fictional universe only keeps expanding which I wish to share with the world. My dream is to become a writer one day, which I'm very passionate about, and another thing I really want to do one day is travel the world. I also do some art and animation, but intend to keep it as a hobby on the side.

I'm an ambivert, shy and hesitant around new people especially those of higher authority and importance, but incredibly outgoing with the people I'm familiar and comfortable with, never getting tired from them. Affection starved, expect lots of hugs, not that much into PDA tho. For me first impression matter, on my part, I am quick to think that people hate me or are annoyed with me.

Even with my fuzzy appetite I do like food, especially of strong flavour, I tend to seem to like asian or Italian food alot. I'd say I'm decent and cooking but not very good at baking.

Minimalistic, not very demanding when it comes to anything, it's basically like "Better than nothing." would be the type to live in a rather small house one day. Somewhat organized in my own way, sometimes I can act a little OCD though when something is out of place in a manner that it's just - no.

I can be rather talkative, when getting in a conversation with me expect to talk for hours about all types of things, wherever the conversation goes. Even better when it's over a cup of tea or a long walk somewhere outside.

I usually try to be as polite and kind as possible, though I sometimes struggle, I always try to have hope for the world, despite my incredibly pessimistic mindset.

For a partner, I look for someone I can geniuenly be happy and comfortable with, someone I can be open with and not worry about being lied to. I would be incredibly loyal to them and I'd hope them to be as well, of course, I don't get jealous or worked up if they're hanging out with friends. I want them to also be happy, someone I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with. Someone who'd be okay with traveling and seeing the world with, someone I can just have a moment to relax with, sometimes just talk and listen to eachother. Like stated before the appearance for me doesn't matter, it's the personality- what's inside that does. I shall note, the harmless teasing can get to me. Someone who's a geniuenly good person despite whatever flaws they might have.

I hope this is long enough ^^

Hi my dear patient anon! 

guess what time it is!✨

i put a read more because it’s one long post! 

OK so as I read through your request I had Levi, Belphie, Beel and Satan on my mind. Though Belphie is out of the picture fast since you have low self-esteem and if anyone then he probably would take advantage of that. Satan too I think. (I know in general he is viewed as an overall good boy but i feel like he might scare someone with low confidence levels when he is at his worst. also he can be manipulative too if there is a situation)

wait- damn- Simeon also exists (also Mammon? though with him and you it’d be a very rough start)

so after some elimination and comparison between dynamics including Simeon, Levi and Beel I decided to match you with Levi but I highly encourage befriending the other two!  ✨ Simeon because of the similar interests + excellent cooking and Beel because he is a mom-friend + you’d always have something to eat too if he is your friend! 

phew it wasn’t an easy decision but here it is! 

Okay so let’s see Levi

Okay first things first I think we need to change your level of confidence my friend. Which means starting off this relationship as friendship - honestly he is on the same page as you regarding this for similar reasons so you two can relate to the other. But once you gain a healthy amount of sense of self-worth + confidence I think this friendship could develop into a very loving and healthy relationship! 

Just because he is a demon I don’t think he would use you, lie to you, manipulate you or anything similar to that. I mean you have similar interests and in canon Levi shows just the bare minimum of interest to someone whose lifestyle + likes aren’t similar to his. Also you’re his only friend besides Henry so why would he treat you bad I mean come on!!! he’s not stupid!! 

Since your relationship is based on being friends trust will come in time, do not worry! Levi is also picky when it comes to ppl so again as you are in the same boat you understand the other deeply. 

I mean Levi can be serious when the situation calls for it but in general you being with him would give you a nice balance with your maturity. He’s not childish but he has different approaches! Meaning he could learn from you but you could also learn from him! 

Tbh i highly doubt he would ever tick you off either or purpose or not. He is mostly annoyed by stupid ppl (like Mammon) and normies but since you are also into anime you’re safe!  

You having an interest in languages is something he will find fun! if i recall in the devildom there’s only one language? (they speak human for you though) so finding out about human world lore like that through you is going to be fun! also pls learn Japanese with him! (pretty sure he already knows so he could help you practice)

Okay so he can also spiral down due to lack of self-worth + self-love but as his friend you’re not supposed to let that happen!! 

well he also tends to forget about himself but on a side note he is very caring about you and your health so he is faster at taking care of you than himself. That’s why you have to look after the other especially at first when both of your self-worth levels are so low. 

pls tell him he is beautiful he will be flustered for the rest of the day but it’s worth it trust me

he absolutely finds glasses cute af he just has to look at you and !!!  

He’s not big into fashion either, though he would love to cosplay with you so hopefully you are ok with wearing cosplay sometimes!

Also your workaholic tendencies might get to him sometimes? like i’m not saying he is lazy but for sure he could do better. Thanks to your influence he will do better! 

the two of you gushing over fictional characters is just so cute;; think about that!! 

ok he is your #1 supporter of becoming a writer!! pls let him be your beta reader aaaaa

well both of you are passionate so the emount of encouragement happening in this relationship is to die for

him being a shut-in means he’s not very big on traveling, but if he could go with you he’s quick to change his mind! 

he also has trouble balancing a healthy sleep schedule but that just means you two can spend more time together so it’s a win-win situation

pls leave your cat with Satan when you visit Levi’s room because of Henry :( your gecko is more than welcome though!!! 

okay he is also affection starved af but he would never initiate to save his life so here you being an ambivert is helpful!! also it leaves you space to tease him which is always fun! 

regarding food you have a nice balance going on, he is more of a baker and you are the opposite! though cooking/baking with the other is always fun!! when he notices your lack of eating he will make sure to order/bake delicious food from the human world for you! 

well he isn’t the messiest so hopefully your OCd wouldn’t kick in when you spend time in his room. I like to HC that he is actually very clean. If anything is out of place in his room it is because it was meant to be there. Or he was in a hurry. 

about long walks outside you’d probably have to nag him a bit but soon he will realize that it’s actually not so bad.

bby is one of the most loyal demons out there so no worries you’re safe!! however he can be jealous easily so it’s nice that you are also loyal! just make sure to clear boundaries before establishing a relationship! 

he’s not one to tease you but he is very into you teasing him, so that’s that

overall i don’t think this relationship would have huge conflicts - sure, you have to nag him about going out but he is not going to protest once he learns that it’s actually. fun. to go out sometimes. i’m more concerned about the two of you’s self-worth and confidence levels, but again it’s about what you do for growth and it’s not something that can’t be changed if you want to change it. besides these i think it’s a very healthy relationship and you both can be yourselves!  

[drawingway]

Sleep Deprived

Let me edit and put something before... Ok... I writed this cause im sleep deprived right fucking now and i dont know how to fucking sleep anymore. HOW DOES ONE SLEEP??? AAAAA

ok... im done. Good reading ;)

~

I was making Julian sleep, passing my hands on his hair and arm that was lacing my waist. I wasn’t laying, or sleepy, so I just sat at the candles light with a book. I hated when this happened, i really wanna sleep, but I can't. I’m agitated... Anxious. I can't turn It off, and It is uncomfortable. My chest was heavy, my limbs tired and my breath shallow. I really needed some sleep.

Luckily Julian was sleepy and was able to sleep undisturbed for a whole three surprised hours. I felt the shift in his breath before he even open his eyes, looking at me from below, adjusting his body to better hug me.

“One of those days, huh?” He muffled.

“Hm” I was still reading, It didn’t break my concentration.

“You're sure you don’t wanna try-“

“I'm sure, Julian. I’m not gonna fall asleep now.” I turned the page.

“You’ve been up for almost three days, you gotta rest.”

I paused my reading, looking at him.

“Who are you to say?”

He muffled something indistinguishable.

“You’re angry.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Im not.”

“You are.”

“I’m not!!”

“You are.”

“FINE! I AM!”

I closed my book with a snap, lowering my eyes to him.  

“Told ya.” He smirked, hugging me tighter.

I sighed.

“I'm tired. I really wanna sleep, Julian. I really do. But I can't right now, you know how is that.”

“I do.” He stroked my leg gently. “Get down here, at least try.” He snuzzled my chest, pleading.

“You know better than anyone that Its not how this works.”

He smirked, biting his lips.

“I can make it work.” His voice deepened, his hands getting under my shirt stroking the base of my boob.  

I sighed again.

“As much as you are irresistible, no. Not right now.”  

“Awn.” His hand retreated, resting on my waist again.

Julian nap for another ten to fifteen minutes. Only to abruptly get out of bed, not bearing staying still anymore. I laughed.

I was alone reading for quite a long time, until I sensed the fresh smell of coffee. Julian appeared on the doorway, fully dressed for the day, holding two steaming mugs.

He handed me one mug, kissing my temple.

“I love you.” He said.

“I love you too.” I replied, sniffing the coffee before sipping.

[sladedick]

i was very in love (

AAAAA TYSM :)))

content: references to rape/noncon

           Raven can feel the movement around her even when she stares at the dark behind her eyelids. It’s a sixth sense of sorts, the part of her brain that can feel the living things moving through the air around her. This is the kind of thing she feels when she’s meditating, and now … the mind is muddled, angry. Dangerous and vicious and out for blood. Not one of her teammates, not even Beast Boy when Kori has stolen his tofu for one of her more exotic recipes.

           Raven drops to the floor in a swirl of black and purple, lighting on it. Her hand goes to the Titans transmitter, but something she can’t name stops her from pressing it as she pokes her head out into the hallway. Half-demon eyes slice through the darkness. She can feel the presence just around the corner, furious and—in pain?

           “Who’s there?”

           A shadow lunges across one of the curves of the hallway, standing in tall silhouette before curling in on itself. Something drips—dark red. Blood.

           Hands twine with dark power. “Show yourself.” The mind jerks, moves. The shadow steps into the light.

           The former leader of the Teen Titans stands in silhouette. Robin’s hair hangs in dark strands down a pale, drawn face. Orange and black blend into the background, making him look like he’s half darkness and half Slade. The garish orange is stained red, liquid dripping from Robin’s hand—a hand that reaches for Raven like claws.

           Lips move but Raven pays them no mind. Hands fist and dark power moves and Robin is slammed into the wall with an viciously loud sound. Raven can hear him choking, careless of it, eyes burning with white fire.

           “You.”

           Robin struggles halfheartedly and as Rabin stalks towards him she can see that he’s hurt, one hand torn away from a wound in his side. Masked eyes narrow in pain.

           “Rae—” he croaks.

           “Where is Slade?��� Raven hisses, hand on her communicator. “I know he came here with you. Where is he?”

           “He’s not—”

           “Don’t lie to me.” Raven’s voice is flat, emotionless once again. “Haven’t you lied enough?”

           “He’s dead.”

           Raven’s grip on him loosens just enough for Robin to sag forward, not even bothering to try to escape as he tries once again to staunch the blood in the wound at his side. It drips through his fingers. “Rae, I—I killed him.” His voice is strange, a mix of things Raven can’t name.

           Raven’s finger hovers over the communicator, not quite pressing down. “You don’t get to call me that.”

           Robin looks up at her and something tears inside her, something she knows should be long gone. Don’t fall for his tricks. He betrayed you. Remember how he tried to kill us.

           There’s no chance of her forgetting that.

           “He’s dead.” Robin’s voice is dull. He almost seems surprised as he looks down at the blood on the floor.

           “Only a matter of time before you got tired of him like you do with everyone else,” Raven says icily. Kori would be shocked if she thought Robin had killed someone, but Raven’s not even sure he’s telling the truth.

           It’s not unbelievable, unfortunately.

           Robin’s mouth opens slightly as he looks at her, about to say something—

           Raven is close to him now, horribly close, looking right into the eyes of a leader and a friend she had trusted with her life. One of the first people she had truly cared about.

           A traitor like no other.

           “Tell me,” she says, nowhere as perfectly calm as she wishes, unable to stop the bitterness from threading its way through her voice, “were we not enough for you? Was having a team who trusted you and friends who cared about you just not worth it? What was it that Slade offered you that your friends couldn’t?”

           Robin stares at her. His breath hitches, he licks his lips—

           Raven isn’t ready for how heartbroken he sounds.

           “He was—was going to kill you.”

           She stares.

           “He—he had a trigger, and he had his finger on it and—and he made—made me—”

           Tears dribble out of the corners of Robin’s mask, unreal in the light.

           Raven’s voice wavers. Her powers waver. Robin falls to the ground with a gasp of pain.

           “Kill … me?”

           “Kill all of you,” Robin rasps. “Unless I did what he wanted. Everything he wanted. Forever.”

           Raven stares at him, bleeding on the floor, trying to stop her mind from racing and the small voice inside of her that hasn’t forgotten about her friend from screaming.

           He’s …

           He’s saying that …

           Robin stares up at her. He looks so wrong, bent over at her feet, choking on his words. “I didn’t want to hurt you. To do any of it. He said—said he’d kill you.” He chokes on a sob. “I didn’t want to. I’m sorry.”

           Raven takes a breath.

           Lets words that hurt everything about her, everything she wants to believe pass her lips.

           “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

           Robin looks up at her, eyes wide. A tear drips down his cheek, hits the blood on the floor. He shudders, shifts. “I’m—we’re friends. Raven, we’re friends, and I couldn’t—wouldn’t let him hurt you, and he had nanobots and they’re in your blood and I—please, Rae, you have to believe me—”

           “ … friends?”

           He stares at her with wide, almost broken eyes. Nothing like the Robin she knew years ago, nothing like the angry one she’s been fighting for months. “We’re friends—we—I—I did all this, he made me do all this, I had to—because we’re friends, and … and I couldn’t …“

           It’s too good to be true, too unreal to be true, and Raven pinches herself hard to make sure she’s not dreaming of this again, wishing so hard for Robin to come back and be himself again. That it was all just a silly mistake, and the real Robin was waiting to pop out from behind the curtain and save them all from Slade again.

           “You’re saying that he blackmailed you. For … years?”

           Robin’s eyes widen, a hand grasping at her arm. She pulls away on instinct, and his hand falls, eyes turning towards the ground. “The nanobots. You can check them—they’re still in your system. Ask Cy, see if he has—has any way to get them out. I destroyed the transmitter, but—” Robin looks up at her again, insistence in his eyes, “you have to be sure.”

           Can he—

           Is he telling the truth?

           Raven probes almost without noticing, pulling at the edges of his mind to find the intent and the reason. Robin narrows his eyes but doesn’t resist, shifting again in the place he sits.

           Her mind trails through the edges of his, familiar paths now twisted and rocky from the months away, dark enough that dread almost bothers to build in her—

           No deceit.

           Just pain, pressed back by a wall of will, threatening to overwhelm.

           Oh.

           Something peeks out from his shoulder, more reddened scars. Raven leans forward over him to get a better look as he murmurs to himself. The uniform he wears is torn at the shoulder, half of the sleeve hanging off.

           Words?

           Robin notices her looking, a panic flashing across his face as he tries to cover his shoulder, smearing blood from his wound over the bruised skin in the process.

           “What’s that?”

           “’Snothing,” Robin mutters. “The nanobots—”

           “Show me.” Raven looks at him, eyes narrowing at his masked ones. Her voice brooks no argument. “Unless you want me to—”

           Robin rubs at the blood with his wrist, something almost indescribable on his face as he pulls the uniform aside to reveal more scars. These are old ones, white and ropy and in the form of … letters?

           V, V, H?

           No, that’s a W, she realizes Robin doesn’t meet her eyes, staring at the floor as Raven reaches out a hand hesitantly, barely brushing him in her effort. Fingers grasp at the black fabric—

           W, H,

           O, R, E

           A word.

           WHORE.

           There in reddened, painful scars. Raven’s brow creases, processes. “Robin …”

           Robin’s face screws up into something pathetic, so removed from the little bits of Robin that Raven remembers. His voice is barely there at all. “He … made – had me – I had to – he said that if I didn’t …”

           Whatever he wanted.

           “X’hal,” Raven breathes. She feels something crack inside her, something that hasn’t moved in months and years, as she stares at Robin’s pale face. He moves slowly, looking up at her. The domino mask is crooked, revealing a dark, furrowed brow, lips slightly parted. Raven doesn’t move as fingers brush her neck, slick blood in fingerprints on her cheek. Robin’s hand trails down, soft and without malice.

           She can feel him now, the almost-familiar mind—one in more pain than she has ever realized, coalesced in the back of it behind the thinking and the fury, It uncurls from its slumber, twisting and fraying in his psyche. Dark power shakes the walls slightly, spreading from Raven’s heels and coursing in the building, too much emotion to keep in.

           “I’m sorry,” Robin says miserably.

           “No,” Raven murmurs. “I’m sorry.”

           He almost looks surprised when she wraps her arms around him

[jklmn-oh]

Room for Two Pt. 3

Genre : roommates!au, fluff, smut

Pairing : Jungkook x reader

Words : 2,393

Summary : Having a crush can be hard sometimes. But what’s harder is when you stupidly decide to hook up with him, and recently he turns out to be your new roommate.

a/n: thank you for 300+ subscribers! my laptop is acting like crazy i couldn’t open my word OTL. i think it’s because i opened certain websites that my antivirus told me not to open and voila! now i’m scared to put flashdrives and my phone until i know what’s going on, or it’s fixed, or i get to buy a new one. :( ugh. but thanks to google docs, my draft that i can’t open was saved aaaaa

If only you haven’t let your guard down and left before anything could even happen between the both of you, or if you could have at least left that very morning before Jungkook could even be this civil with you that he announces that he will be your new (and first) roommate, then maybe you would have this huge battle within you. Maybe the only problem you would be dealing with is the mushy feeling in your stomach whenever he’s around and might be talking to you. But now that you basically have an idea of what’s beneath his clothing, it’s just hard to concentrate. The alcohol you just had makes your brain play dirty, dirty thoughts about the boy in front of you, and your heart wishes he feels the same way too-

-breathe, Y/N. Breathe. Move away before it’s too late.

“I-I gotta go find my friends.” You quickly say as you waited no time for him to speak. You stood up and held to your bag like it was your dear life and searched for the only cause of this.

“Lee, we need to talk.”

It may have been awkward for you interrupt the make out session between Leena and the guy you can recall from one of your classes last year, you know you had to. You recently just left Jungkook after he revealed to you that he is going to be one of those people who will move into your dorm in a week’s time. Leena gave a quick peck and whispered to the ear of the boy she was making out with before pulling you swiftly at somewhere private – like the kitchen. “’Sup, sis?”

“Why didn’t you tell me Jungkook will be our dorm mate?” you hissed, not exactly intending to sound harsh.

Leena didn’t seem fazed. In fact, she even smirked, “About time you knew! Isn’t it exciting? You just hooked up with him and apparently he is going to be one of our roommates. Actually, me and Namjoon just finished the room assignments last night and we have decided, that you and Jungkook will be roommates! Isn’t that amazing?”

The thought of Jungkook being your roommate had you so alarmed you pulled your hair in frustration. It must be also because of the alcohol, but you know how furious you are right now. Jungkook is your crush, but they don’t know how much trouble and frustration you have been feeling lately because of the said boy, and now your friend just decided it would be good to do such thing as pairing you up with Jungkook as a roommate? “Why did you do that, Leena? You didn’t even ask for my permission. That’s stupid!”

Leena looked at you, surprised with your sudden cussing and fury, “Hold up, babe. Why are you angry? I’m literally helping you with Jungkook, okay? Just a little more nudge and you’d not only be sleeping with but dating too! Chill down and let me be your cupid.”

You would like to believe that this is just drunk Leena speaking, or this is just her teasing her baby sister. But no, you’ve had enough. You know you hate it when these girls are teasing you about your little crush with Jungkook and now you hate it more when they start acting like you did want to date the boy that desperately. It’s true that you would want to, but hell no would you do drastic measures to do so. You do not want to act so desperate as if you badly want to have a boyfriend because it’s the apocalypse. You’re conflicted, but you’ve had enough. “You don’t have to be a cupid, Lee. You know Jungkook and I had sex and that’s it. I like him and I do want to date him, but I don’t want to act so desperate vying for his attention, okay? So stop doing anything related to him and I. I don’t need your help. You guys are being too much, it’s not like I asked you to do this, but I don’t like it. I’ve had enough!”

“Wh-What?” Leena stuttered. “You’ve had enough? Wow, Y/N, we were all just looking out for you. Besides, clearly you enjoyed that little thing you did with the boy. Didn’t you notice how happy you were the last few weeks? We did this for the sake of you getting out of your comfort zone. You were always playing safe!”

“I wasn’t playing safe!” you countered.

Leena lightly jabbed your chest with her index finger, “You are, missy. You always bail out with our hangouts, you always use the studying excuse as if you won’t graduate if you miss a minute of studying. You were moping about not having a boyfriend while all of us had ours before but then here you are acting like monk cooped up in your room. You are so lonely, Y/N, we know it. We also know about your sad past about something that you don’t really want to disclose to us. We get it, too. But we don’t want seeing you hurt or sad, or down like that. When we’re happy, we try to make you join and if you refuse, you look so lost.”

Leena sighed as she noticed how you were now looking down. She said the truth, and it’s painful, but maybe it was for the better. She held your right hand and squeezed it firmly. “I’m so sorry, bad pasts happen, but I hope you will help us… help you.”

You were quiet, literally at loss for words. She was right, people get hurt, but that doesn’t mean we should stay hurt all the time and forever, or as long as we live. How could we be able to get ourselves back up if we wouldn’t let people help us become the better versions of us, or the very least, let in our lives? Maybe your friends’ way of helping you can be too much, or it may be way too uncomfortable, but maybe it was like that because you just let them and never spoke about it. You consider them your friends but you never let them in your life the way it’s supposed to be. You still act distant because you’re afraid this people will just leave when you get too attached. Maybe you decided to be so guarded because you just don’t want to get hurt anymore.

“Do you want to go back home?” Leena asked you in a worried tone.

You sniffed, tears nearing to fall from your eyes. However, you kept your composure and smiled at her, “No, but I might take a walk. You guys should stay here, though. I’m going to be fine.”

“Okay,” she smiled warmly at you, giving you a light hug. “I’ll see you at home.”

You nodded, and quickly turned away from her. You definitely need fresh air, so you head towards the exit without looking at anyone. Luckily it was just near and you were instantly hit by the cold autumn night. You quickly placed your hands inside your jean pockets as you ventured towards nowhere. Where exactly will you go? You’re not entirely sure, but you loved the idea that you’re alone and silent, this way you can collect your thoughts out and be able to reflect on yourself. How did this exactly happen to you? Why does it seem like you hate to love or even have the chance to be loved when you are nothing but hopeful of one?

You could only sigh as you watch the twinkling lights from the café across the street as you continue to walk.

“Hey!”

You turned to where the voice came from, making you shiver as the breeze hit your face. It’s still a few months away from the winter season yet the cold wind seems to be frostier than it usually is. Your eyes grew wide as you watch Jungkook stride towards your direction. You want to leave, but your feet doesn’t let you.

“Jungkook? Why are you here?” you asked as he squat, catching his breath from running. He looked up at you with a tired look and said, “You just left me, and I saw you talking to Leena. But it didn’t exactly look as what I expected it to be and you left. If this is about me being your roommate, then-”

“It is, Jungkook.” You say, not wanting to avoid the topic any sooner. “It was fun hooking up with you, heck it was good. But I hoped it was just that. Leena didn’t tell me it was your group that is going to move in, so I’m angry.”

Jungkook only continued to stare at you as you continued talking, not wanting to spare any details. “I don’t know how and why your group decided it would be a good idea to turn our dorm into a co-ed dormitory, but I do not approve.”

“Well, I’m sorry if you do not like it. And as far as I know, room assignments isn’t really done unless we would all meet and talk about it.” Jungkook told you, holding both of his hands up, “I was just kidding when I told you that we are going to be roomies. Also, I know that it is going to be awkward for us after what we did, but I don’t want it to be. This is why I am trying to be friendly. But if you wouldn’t want to, then fine by me.”

You were quiet, and totally have no idea of what to tell him next. So you let him speak again, asking the question that you dreadfully did not want to encounter. “We had a very good time, and I felt that connection between the both of us. But why are you avoiding me as if you don’t want me as much I… I want you?”

“You want me?” before your heart could take over your mind, you hissed and laugh in a ominous manner, “ah, you want me to hook up with you again, is that it? And you’re asking why I am trying to avoid you or to avoid the very existence of you after that?-”

“-N-No, that’s not what I mean…”

“It’s because I had this huge crush on you, Jungkook.” You blurted, fear inside your body totally dissipating. “And now do you understand how awkward and uncomfortable that is for me? I like you, and apparently I had this huge fantasy of me having sex with you when we’re a couple. But it turns out I let my drunken self do whatever she wants to do, because you’re too beautiful for me to resist.”

Silence. You definitely confessed to him and has said way too much. It got out of hand and your stupid brain has spout out way too much unnecessary words. Now Jungkook will only think of you wrongly. You palmed your face as all you could do was to shake your head. You dare not look at the boy as your shaking voice say, “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“Y/N, I have to tell you something.” Jungkook tried to step closer to you.

You know you didn’t drink too much for you to be think tipsy, but if it will be some kind of “I’m sorry, I appreciate you, but I don’t feel that way,” kind of apology from Jungkook, then you can’t guarantee standing there and acting tough like how you just blurted your confession.

“No. I can’t hear it right now, Jungkook.” You almost sobbed. “I’m sorry, I want to be alone.”

The way you’re avoiding the boy’s gaze had so much effect on the boy. He sighed, but he let you be. He pulled his phone and you can hear his fingers tapping on the device. A few minutes after, he turned to you and say, “I won’t say anything more about it. I just… I requested a cab for you. I’ll leave once you’re in.”

Jungkook should be the bad one in this situation, but what have you done in your past life to be graced with the blessing of being on the same life with this kind and caring Jungkook? If only you’re not a weak young girl who falls for cute boys and their cute gestures and end up hooking up with them, then maybe things wouldn’t turn out to be this way. Maybe if you’re badass like Leena then maybe you would be with Jungkook in his apartment right now. Why do you have to think of your feelings before what you really want? Why are you afraid of getting hurt and thinking that liking someone and getting deep into it is like committing into a relationship? You seriously hate how messed up and disoriented your thoughts are.

For the past fifteen minutes, Jungkook and you stood by the stop light post, keeping yourselves busy on your own. You were looking at your phone, playing a puzzle game, while Jungkook looked at his phone, minding his own business. However, the both of you couldn’t help but sneak glances at each other, only to look away when one has caught the other.

The cab has finally arrived and the both of you stood frozen. The window from the shotgun seat rolled down, hence there looked the driver. “Are you Mr. Jeon Jungkook?”

Jungkook immediately went towards the window and answered the driver in a friendly manner. “Yes, uh, my… please take her to her apartment safely. I’ve sent the address to you, right?”

“Yes, hop on, kid.” The driver, who looked like your grandpa but just younger, said as he looked at you. Jungkook turned to you and you looked at him, finally.

“You should go home.” He told you.

“Y-You too.” You replied.

He nodded, opening the door from the passenger seat to let you in. “Bye.”

“Buh-bye.” You muttered as you get in. Once he closed the door, he went to peek at the driver and smiled like a dear boy, “Sir, please take her home safely.”

“Of course.”

You decided not to look back as the car drove away. Maybe the best decision here is, to forget whatever feelings you have. Because it turns out, you were the only one with issues here, not them.

[intergalacticwhales]

get to know me 🌜

@progmetallesbian tagged me! thanks corazón ♥ im tagging @bitchdyke @nebelkoenigin @plaguegirlfriend @cenodyke @gutlessghostboy @dolly-darko @ravioli-tits @peachy-hobbit and @hadewyjch to do the same!

Nickname: well, naya is actually a nickname, and people also call me nana, nayi (bc my full name is kinda weird and long), and my family calls me ney, negrita, abuelita (this bc i drink too much tea and im always tired)

Zodiac: cancer sun, sagittarius moon, scorpio rising

Height: 1,54 m (5′0 i think in the weird gringo system)

Last movie I saw: mhhh i think it was venom (2018) for the fourth time xd

Last thing I googled: Eluveitie 2018 setlist (bc they are coming to my country in february AAAAA)

Favorite musicians: TOO MANY, I CANT WITH THIS QUESTION!!!!! but probably Neige from Alcest and Mikael Akerfeldt bc their music and meaning behind them means a lot to me

Song stuck in my head: Eyeless by Slipknot

Other blogs: i have 3 other blogs but i’m not really active there anymore

Do I get asks: rarely

Following: 175 (i thought i followed more)

Amount of sleep: lately i’ve been sleeping 3-5 hours and it shows!

Lucky number: 6

What I’m wearing: yellow and green tank top, dark green pants and brasil flag themed flip-flops

Dream job: working as a counselour for lgbt youth, also working at a library again, form a band, become a writer, etc etc

Dream trip: i’ve been talking about going to wacken with my brother once i graduate from college!!! i also would like to go to ireland and/or araucanía bc i want to become one with nature and let the moss wrap me up

Favorite food: pantrucas my abuela kela makes ♥

Play any instruments: guitar and bass

Languages: spanish and english (i want to start to hablar más in espanglish bc its my deber)

Favorite songs: right now this exact very moment:

duality - slipknot

eyeless - slipknot

wait and bleed - slipknot

just another - jinjer

inflexión - egregor

shunyata - egregor

raudo - téfiret

vermillion - slipknot

Random fact: im on a slipknot kick rn bc i’ve been feeling tons of resurfacing rage that i’ve repressed and it might be fueling my last psychotic episodes, but well... it actually feels good when i let it out by going ape shit whitle blasting slipknot. I DONT FEEL SAD ANYMORE IM JUST SO FUCKING ANGRY

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: foggy forests near the ocean, neon signs reflecting on the pavement when you are walking outside at 1 am after it rained and you are wearing a leather jacket and combat boots and iron maiden is being blasted in the distance (this is so damn especific but yeah), lavender poking out of black jacket pockets, metalhead merch stores

[nottodaylogic]

Insert Cool Demigod AU Title—Chapter 3

Summary: People get claimed. People are gay. There are sword fights that are more nerdy than possible to describe in a summary. The action finally gets started, kind of. It’s kind of montage-y. I just really wanted to get this chapter out as soon as possible.

Word count: 1641 words I think?

Pairings: Platonic LAMP, romantic Logicality and Prinxiety (eventually)

Warnings: Sword fights, intense nerdiness, pining, the mortal disease of Gay, the Princess Bride

A/N: OKAY NOW WE CAN GET THINGS STARTED! ...in the next chapter. I’m tired and this chapter feels complete-ish. Also I totally haven’t memorized the entirety of the Princess Bride, noooooo! ANYWAYS, this is based off of @becca-becky ‘s Demigod AU, go give ‘em some love! I have nothing else to say, enjoy!

“The Hulk is THE strongest person! How could he not take care of some bees?!”

“Is his skin vulnerable to bee stings?”

“I DON’T KNOW?!”

“Now now, tiny little hedgehogs, no need to fight.”

“We are not fighting, we are debating. There is a difference.”

“...tiny little hedgehogs?”

“Make like a ball of spikes and roll with it, Virgil.”

Said boy rolled his eyes at Roman’s words. Two weeks had passed by fast, and Virgil found himself denying attachments to his three companions more than expected. They had grown on him. Like toe fungus or strangling creeper vines.

“Bees are faster than the Hulk,” continued Logan, “and numerous as well. They can swarm around him and make him tired."

"But even if bee stings can penetrate his skin, an annoyed Hulk is an angry Hulk is a strong Hulk is a smash Hulk!" Roman slammed his fists on the table in emphasis. "SMASH!"

"But the bees can scatter before the Hulk smashes them! Fast!" Logan seemed very passionate about the bees.

"What do you think, Virgil?" Patton asked. He started a little at having to give an opinion, but after a moment of thought, spoke:

"Well, the bees might be fast, but they aren't as strong as the Hulk. Also, don't they die after stinging? He can just clap his hands and boom, dead bees."

Roman pumped his fists in the air, shouting a victorious cheer as Logan delivered a convincing counterargument, scowling. Who-even-knows children, honestly.

That insult wasn’t really effective when they hadn't been claimed yet.

"CAN YOU QUIET IT DOWN OVER THERE?!" A random camper yelled. "WE'RE TRYING TO ROAST MARSHMALLOWS!"

"Jeez, that guy is not a--"

"NO--"

"Happy camper!" Patton grinned as Logan groaned into his hands.

"Why do I even try? That wasn’t even a pun!”

"SSSHHHHH!"

The other campers resumed their marshmallow roasting. There was singing of campfire songs about grandmothers putting on armor. All was peaceful. Everything was good. It was all well.

Roman leaned over and stage-whispered: “Hulk has bee-proof skin.”

That started the argument all over again.

They kept at it for quite a while, the darkness comforting, the magical fire roaring, debating Avengers vs. insects. Bees were insects, were they? Virgil didn’t know these things. He wasn’t Logan.

A glowing brown sheath of wheat materialized over Patton's head. He didn't notice. No one did.

Except Virgil.

“Hey, Patton, maybe look up?” He said, trying to silently send the message of  ‘LOOK AT THE MAGICAL WHEAT ABOVE YOUR HEAD!’.

He failed.

"Did someone say puppy?!" Patton was frantically searching for a small dog. "WHERE WHERE WHERE?????"

"No, LOOK!" Patton finally got the hint and looked up. His eyes widened.

"WHAT." He swatted at it, trying to get it to disappear. People were finally beginning to notice (because a radiant brown sign above people’s heads isn’t the most subtle thing ever), and were whispering.

Virgil suddenly got a sinking feeling that Patton was not the only one to be claimed tonight, and his head slowly swiveled to look at Logan.

A blue owl was shining above Logan's head, and all he could do was stare.

"What..."

"AAAAA I'M GLOWING PINK?????"

Roman was now decked from head to toe in a pink glowing aura. There was a rose-colored dove above his head, but of course, Aphrodite was a freaking meanie and just had to change his clothes too.

Roman’s clothes had changed into an Ancient Greek dress (because he looked magnificent in any clothes, no matter the gender). His makeup was done, and though Virgil knew nothing about makeup (like he knew nothing about worrying, honestly, stop lying already!) he knew Roman looked...

"Stunning..." he muttered. He might have been blushing, but no one could prove it. He had white foundation and a pale complexion working for him. Roman was, indeed, utterly and completely beautiful.

Virgil was freaking gay.

Well.

Time to die now.

Everyone else got to their knees, including Chiron, and Virgil was quick to follow. Logan, Patton, and Roman were the only ones left standing.

"All hail, Patton Morobus, son of Demeter, goddess of harvest. Logan Teach, son of Athena, goddess of Wisdom. Roman Royaume, son of Aphrodite, goddess of love."

Of course, the claiming didn’t dissuade them from returning to the truly important topic at hand.

“Hulk!”

“Bees!”

“Oh my gods.”

———

Many weeks after Virgil’s he-stopped-counting-long-ago gay awakening (Team Hulk totally won the debate, by the way, but don’t tell Logan), the four were training. Logan had acquired a sword, Patton had been granted a magical trowel that turned into a spear, and Roman… well, Roman was an indecisive little—

“WATCH OUT!”

A flying spear shot last Virgil, narrowly missing his hoodie. Which he wore. In the middle of summer. Yes.

“SORRY!” Patton ran past him to retrieve his spear, which had missed the target by miles.

“It’s fine, I didn’t need my head anyways,” Virgil replied weakly.

“Why are you even throwing that so close to people?” Logan asked, adjusting his glasses. “You could hit someone.”

"I'm hunting, Lo!" Patton grinned in that special special way that meant a pun was coming.

"Don't you dare--"

"I'm on the trowel!"

Logan groaned. "You ruined it. You ruined the moment. You ruined me. Why."

"Love you too Lo!"

Logan choked on air, sputtering. Virgil grinned evilly, grabbing his dark angsty skull staff from the ground.

“You know you walked right into that.”

“No? I didn’t?” Logan sighed. “Hey, where the heck is Roman?”

“Who knows.”

Speak of the beauty child, Roman walked around the corner, tiara on his head, in his hand was a—

“Is that a samurai sword?!”

Roman hefted it up. “Why yes it is, Anthony Lockbrood.”

“...how did you manage to get worse with your nicknames?!”

“Who knows? Not I, not I.”

“...you’re the one creating them,” Virgil pointed out.

Logan let out an exasperated noise. “Oh my gosh can you just train?!”

“Sorry Lo.”

“Sorry Lo.”

They headed to a different part of the arena, leaving Patton and Logan to flirt in peace.

“So,” said Roman, handing Virgil a sword. “Shall we begin?”

“We shall.”

—

Patton was swinging around the spear, clearly with no idea what he was doing. He looked adorable doing it, of course, anything he did was adorable, but he was obviously clueless. Logan walked over to help him in order to attempt to silence his feelings. He failed.

“Do you wish for assistance?” Patton started, dropping his spear. He retrieved it, blushing.

“If you could help, that’d be swell!”

Logan quirked a brow at his word choice. “Swell?”

“It just came to mind!”

“Okay then.” Logan walked over to Patton, and grabbed hold of his hands. Patton flushed harder, and it was all Logan could do to keep from doing the same.

“What are you doing, Lo?” Patton asked, Logan’s hands covering his on the spear.

“I—you need to adjust your grip slightly.” Logan moved Patton’s hands on the spear so they were in the right position. He kept his hands there far longer than was strictly necessary, but neither said a word. They were too busy yelling in their thoughts. Two awkward gays.

Their eyes met.

Logan suddenly realized what he was doing, and pulled away, putting precious, regrettably precious distance between them.

“I—um—you—your strikes should be better now,” he stammered, trying to play it cool. He failed. Miserably.

“Okay.” Patton was blushing still, his adorable turquoise eyes shining. “Thank you, Logan.”

“I—you’re welcome.”

Logan was gay.

Really gay.

After a few more minutes of torture, the pair walked back to where they’d left Roman and Virgil, to find them reenacting the fight beside the Cliffs of Insanity. Roman had his sword up against Virgil’s practice one, and the latter was pressed up against the fence.

“You cannot tell because of my mask, but I am smiling,” said Virgil.

“And why is that?”

“I am not left-handed either!”

Virgil all but tossed the sword into his other hand, and they began (or perhaps continued) their duel. Their swords clashed as they fought.

Logan could only stare. Patton clapped and cheered for both of them. Neither of the duelers paid attention, entirely focused on their fight.

They kept quoting the Princess Bride at each other. They were both intense and complete nerds. This was saying something, coming from Logan. Finally, after many minutes of fighting, Roman was on his knees, and Virgil circled him like a herbivore circling a particularly nice patch of grass.

That simile did not work particularly well.

Eh.

“I would sooner kill Da Vinci than destroy an artist such as yourself,” Virgil was saying. Dang, he really knew this movie. Or book. It was both a movie and a book. Not enough people knew that. “However, since I can’t have you following me, blah blah get knocked out scrub.” He smacked Roman across the head with the butt of his sword.

Instead of falling gracefully, Roman yelled and clutched his head, rolling on the grass.

“Dude! That actually hurt!” He rubbed his head. “Why?!”

“You were the one who chose Inigo Montoya,” Virgil said.

“I only said the first line as Inigo! You were the one who didn’t let me switch!”

“Uhh, you should have chosen Westley, then.”

“But Inigo speaks first!”

“What is happening?” Logan said. They finally seemed to notice that Logan and Patton existed. Roman jumped to his feet as Virgil adjusted his hoodie (which was tied around his head like a mask).

“We were simply practicing our sword-fighting skills, that is all!” Roman declared.

“YOU WERE AWESOME!” Patton exclaimed. “I liked it when you went shoom, shoom, and when YOU were like, CHING CHING, and it was really great!”

No one knew how to respond to that.

Luckily, they didn’t have to, because in a case of extremely convenient timing, the dinner shell sounded.

TAGLIST:

@hamilin-manuel-miranda

@anony-phangirl

@llamaly

@katatles-the-fish

@221b-quote

@storytellerofuntoldlegends

@6tick6tock6

@jayzwonderland

@yay-im-fucking-trash

@notalwaysthevillian

@hi-disappointed-im-daughter

@exit-stage-left

@pathetical-errors

@heir-of-the-founders

@oneacearmy

@neonb-fly

@a-time-traveling-whovian

[shootingst4rpress]

OOOOOOH MY GOD okay so Ao3 won’t let me get an account so I’m here to scream about YOUR FIC CALAMITY,,,,,, I’ll try not to spoil things for your followers but AAAAAAA THIS FIC IS SO FUCKIN GOOD OH MY GOD,,,,,, literally I have a list saved of all your BANGER quotes the narration is SO GOOD??? The tone is established SO well, it really reflects how tired/depressed/angry the characters are, so I can FEEL how they feel?? And the EMOTIONAL DAMAGE,,, that ending scene was <<<<<33333333 and I love how you write and develop Andy,,,,,,Tillman and Nora’a dialogue is SO fun to read and I love the little bits in there of things that happened in Blaseball [I was reading it like ! That was a feedback swap ! That was the start of Discipline, etc]. You did a really fantastic job of SHOWING that the characters are more than just players [JAYLEN’S CHARACTERIZATION <<<<33333] Okay idk if this has a character limit but AAAAA YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD

OH MY GOD THANK YOU?? WAAUAUUAGH

i am also collecting all the crazy compliments yall are giving this silly project and holding them SO close to my heart <3 THANK U SOOOOO MUCH I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH THIS MEANS WAUUAUAGHHHHHHHH

jaylen's sections were some of my favourite bits, she's so fun :D nora as well! i love a psychopomp