#I DID NOT. PUT A DAY AND HALF'S AMOUNT OF WORK INTO THAT. FOR SOLELY THE WORD PLACEMENT TO GET LAUGHED AT.

[mullermilkshake]

Sixty one days

Part 3 <- Part 4 -> Part 5

Two months. Two fucking months.

Yandere!Jinwoo Sung x Fem Hunter!reader Canon-typical violence,Trying for a baby, Jinwoo is getting a little desperate,Authoritative pressure,Mentions of pregnancy/unprotected sex/sexual acts/breeding

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EDIT - I have only watched the anime and haven't gotten round to reading the manhwa yet. Please refrain from spoilers.

Two months later. And still no baby.

The morning followed news of Hae-In’s pregnancy announcement. You were still training and if you weren’t pregnant by now, that was the root cause.

You were pushing yourself too hard, Jinwoo knew it just by the sweat dripping from your forehead. The pressure from the association was the contributing factor that morning, paired with Jinwoo’s system quest, you and he weren’t doing so hot.

Each time you received Jinwoo’s load inside you, it was delivered on the hope that one would get you pregnant. One after the other, it grew way more than just a quest for him to complete. Jinwoo was driven to the point that he solely wanted those two little lines on that stick to prove that he was more than enough to look after you.

The whole day put Jinwoo in a foul mood, standing off by the viewing platform to witness your abilities alongside Jong-In. He wasn't participating, just mulling over how to smooth things with you and that strained apartment.

In a versus sparring match, Jinwoo put his money on you, despite knowing Jong-In’s abilities, yours were more of a utility. You were of the variety where you quickly learned that you were capable of fighting close and long ranged combat. Your abilities as a mage made you one of a kind for close quarters fighting despite your lack of experience. A perfect counter to other mage types like Jong-In.

The one ability Jinwoo took interest in was your direct spell casting. Royal’s Gatekeeper.

After the hunters finished swarming Jong-In with congratulations, he entered the area and faced you. Jinwoo’s eye twitched at the way you patted Jong-In on the back before standing in the indicated half box to await the match's starting point. He hated the way you were so friendly with him, loathed it, wanted to rip his hair out and slice the man up into pieces.

Like he was the ‘ultimate weapon’ and lately, Jinwoo found himself wanting to put that assumption to the test. It was clear who would win if Jinwoo took Jong-In on.

“Things are going to get hot in here.” Hunter Baek stood nearby with Hunter Ma, watching along as the match between two S-Rank hunters began.

“Yeah, but she’s pretty good at capture the flag.”

Baek shrugged and disagreed. “But Jong-In is pretty fast, she’ll have to break the distance first before she can even land a hit on him, her long range spell isn't refined enough yet, she's still got a long away to go. I'm not sure he’ll give her that chance at least, he was pretty riled up this morning.”

Ma scratched his head and rested on his chin over the railing. “But with her ability… makes it kinda difficult, right?”

Royal’s Gatekeeper was a peculiar ability which could beat Jinwoo’s shadow exchange in comparison. A direct summoning spell that essentially ripped holes in reality, making miniature gates for teleportation of objects and people. Shadow exchange had a three hour cool down, Jinwoo was working on reducing that tirelessly, however you just naturally received it, right in the palm of your hand without any delay, operating it in real time.

The things Jinwoo could do with that ability were infinite. For one, which you had displayed once before, was creating a way out of a red gate, allowing safe passage back. An escape spell.

Though Jinwoo did not need it to escape as such, he wanted it for something more elusive. The fascinating thing was that the gates themselves produced minute amounts of energy, explained by you to use practically none of your mana either. But if he controlled you, he had access to it. 

Jinwoo watched you run towards Jong-In, eager to bridge that distance as quickly as possible to avoid his wider spread attacks. Jong-In however, fired repetitively, sending you on a run around in the arena.

On another note, not only could you present these gates for teleportation and switching, you could hide them too.

Hence why your perception was so high.

Now, as a mage type, your strength was nothing to brag about, while you could fight in close combat as an S-Rank, your overall strength still lied in distance or evasion. Your natural skills lied in more with your agility and perception, the other areas could use work.

Jinwoo preferred it that way. Because then, you were weaker and you would have to rely on him more for your survival. Your fierce independence was nothing to shake a stick at, but it proved more of a hindrance when it came to your relationship with Jinwoo. Yes, it was developing, albeit slowly, into a relationship. Just a strained one.

You most probably took that frustration out in your training, Jinwoo saw the determination across your face and it must have spurred you on after your close call with Jong-In’s fire spear. It seemingly burned you upon contact that was barely there as it whizzed past, and what damage resulted, faded away in a blink.

That was your secondary ability. Eye’s handmaiden. Solely for your own gain and that fact did not pass you as a healing mage. A being that drained significant mana when summoned upon instinct, you barely registered it, its presence merely as a passive outsider until the battle ended and you no longer took damage.

The summoned being healed you constantly, it could not be destroyed and would withstand even Jinwoo’s attacks, its sole purpose to serve you blindly.

Jong-In threw more fire and Jinwoo noticed the smoke screen, because as the fire and destruction came away from the essence stone walls in the corner of the training room, you were gone.

Disappeared.

Vanished from thin air that even Jinwoo’s perception couldn’t locate you.

Until a hole in the wall appeared, its darkened mass sparkling like a million stars in the night sky from inside like a vortex. Like a sheet of paper, it was flat and non-existent. But it was there. Jong-In noticed and acted on instinct, launching his spear right through until it shot back out from across the room and lodged in the ceiling at speed. It vibrated, shaking from side to side at the raw power behind his throw.

Yet you did not emerge with a hole through you, Eye’s Handmaiden remained stagnant on the side lines, keeping its humanoid arms taught by its side and casted no spells to your health.

Then, you cropped in view, right behind Jong-In and tapped him on the shoulder.

Ma gasped with an exclamation that Jinwoo would describe as a child on his birthday. “Woah! She got him- she got him… That was slick!”

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Beak crossed his arms with a pleased grin. “She’s improved…”

You tapped Jong-In on the shoulder which made him turn, revealing your path to victory right on his back.

So that pat on his back was a diversion for placing Royal’s Gatekeeper in a place she could secure the flag. Impressive. 

Baek wandered over to Jinwoo with his finger quizzically on his chin. “I never knew she could place that on living things, she really has improved… Hey, Jinwoo? How’s things going with you two? I hear the association is riding your asses right now.”

Ma came over to join and stick his nose in things as Jinwoo tensed up under his ginormous hand on his shoulder. “Probably why she’s been trainin’ so hard. That’s a lotta pressure for you two.”

“I think we’ll be alright, these things just take time, right?”

Baek shrugged with indifference, Ma chuckled and watched you conversing with Jong-in. “I heard that- what’s that sayin’ the one about Rome? I was never built or somethin’."

“It's Rome wasn’t built in a day, Dongwook.”

“Yeah, that’s it!”

Well, Jinwoo wanted it built in a day, with his abilities, his shadows could build an entire city in a day for sure. While on that thought, he never took his eyes off of you, smiling away at something Jong-In said and waving him off like you were trying for a baby with him and not Jinwoo. 

Just the thought made his blood boil and hiss under his skin. He hoped that your frustration still existed, because he was getting rough tonight. Jinwoo ensured it. And if you weren’t flustered enough by the time you reached the apartment, he’d find a way to get a rise out of you and expose that bratty attitude come the drive home after their invitation to a dinner hosted by Chairman Go.

“I guess so… Well, I’ll be going now, we have plenty to do before the association dinner tonight.” Jinwoo left with his hands in his pockets and stepped away.

“Sure thing! See you then!”

“Hold on, Jinwoo. I’ll walk you down.” Baek followed him off of the viewing platform with his hands tucked into his pockets and the world on his shoulders. “Look… I know this isn’t my place, but I wanted to ask you how things are really going?”

“Hm?”

“Things might look dandy on the outside, but things have gotten pretty dark the last two months. There’s been a lot of facade going on around here to show the Chairman we’re all on board with this even though we’re not.” He let your name slip from his lips. “And she’s a good person and she’s never been his riled up. Things are pressured and I wanted to let you know, I’m here if you need anything. I know what the association can be like at the best times, so when shit like this crops up, I can only imagine what you two are going through.”

Jinwoo was having the time of his life, and you’d come around to it eventually. Even if it was ‘just sex’ to you right now. But Jinwoo knew different and Baek sticking his oar in it shot up his hackles and they were pointing right at his idiotic face.

Though, Jinwoo wasn’t idiotic, he knew when to pick his fights coming from where he did. This was not one to get hung up on, not when you were waiting by the entrance to go home.

“Thanks, uh… it’s been difficult, but we’re both doing our part. I appreciate the sentiment- anyway, gotta go, I have things to do. See you tonight.”

“...Sure thing.” He wasn’t convinced, yet Jinwoo didn’t care.

His frustration riled him up enough through the day that he could have jumped in, dominated a dungeon and the rewards of levelling up still wouldn’t have satisfied him. His mind barely kept on the road and spoke no further in the car with you. You did not utter one word either. Even on the way up to the apartment, you walked two steps ahead like Jinwoo was a stranger to you

Well… That won’t do. As soon as you could step foot over that threshold, Jinwo would do all sorts of filthy things to you and he’d hear nothing about it. It’s just how things went for the last week, and secretly, he loved it. Craved it. Fantasised more about it which got him hard more times than he would admit out loud.

Almost there, and he’d fuck you angrily in to submission.

Almost, yet nothing close. Woo Jin-chul stood by the front door, glaring at Jinwoo down the hallway. “Good evening Hunter Sung.” He addressed you second.

“Why are you here?” You said. “We had the call with the association this morning, if you’ve come to lecture us, we already had both barrels this morning.”

You shot inside and left the door open for him anyway, Jinwoo followed in last and left the door to depressingly click with awkward silence.

Woo Jin-chul leant against the kitchen counter and cleaned his sunglasses absentmindedly. “I’m here on informal circumstances, I’m giving you a head’s up, nothing more. So I suggest you take the advice if you want this to work out.”

What could that be? If he’s made an unofficial visit, then the Chairman doesn’t know. 

“What advice?” Jinwoo could tell you were tired from the way you were rubbing your eye. “We have this dinner to go to tonight, for Hae-In’s announcement. There’s alot to prepare before we go.”

“I’m well aware of your dinner, I’ll be attending along with the Chairman and it hasn’t gone unnoticed how distant you two are, so I suggest you use tonight as a way to get back into the association’s good graces.” Woo Jin-chul held out each finger as he listed the rules off. “No drinking, no murderous glares and certainly no eating irresponsibly… you have the nutrition pack we gave you. Stick to it. As for the do’s, at least look somewhat happy, it makes for a dull room otherwise. Keep public displays of affection to a minimum, this is Hunter Choi and Cha’s night. Though ensure the chairman is watching when you do decide to get appropriately intimate. He will be watching.” 

You huffed and slouched, taking a glass from the cupboard to drink from. “When did this programme get political? We’re doing everything we can, I came off my pill not long before we started this, it can take up to a year, what’s the rush? We have to wait years before we see any results anyway- I don’t get it? All you’re doing is putting pressure on us- on me.” 

A year? Jinwoo stared at his system screen in his periphery, one month left and he’d run out of time on the other end. It wasn’t that he couldn’t withstand the penalty, he just couldn’t be asked to. No way could he wait an entire year before getting you pregnant. He was already going out of his mind with this distance with nothing to show for it except great sex. He wanted to breed you so desperately, it ached, hurt his very being that out of all the things he could do, putting a baby in you was just something he was failing at.

No amount of leveling up or training could speed the process up or increase the likelihood. It just had to happen on its own and that was the frustrating part.

“How often are you part taking in intercourse?”

You almost spat water all over Woo Jin-chul. “W-what?! Why would you ask that?”

“I must enquire so I can give you more customized advice.”

“Jinwoo…” Your eyes were so wide and adoring when you were borderline pissed off. “Say something- no way we’re telling him that.”

He didn’t care who he told, preferably Jong-In to rub it in his face. But with Woo Jin-chul, there was a possibility for something in return. 

No… no way could I be that lucky…

“Maybe we should hear him out- hold on.” His hands went up in defense. “It could get the association off our backs for a little while, right?”

When you didn’t respond, burying your face in your hands, Jinwoo took it as a cue to say out loud to the world how frequently the two of you had been fucking. “Three times a week. Like we were told at the start.”

“Is that true?”

You looked between the two men with flushed cheeks. “Yeah…”

“Then double it, preferably once a day, everyday. Starting from tonight. I trust it’ll help speed up the process, but if that fails, we’ll have to look at secondary options.”

“And what’s that?” You chased Woo Jin-chul towards the door as he opened it. “You can’t just say that and walk away.”

He sighed, slipping his sunglasses on over the threshold to the hallway. “We’ll have to look at pairing you both with someone else. Now that Hunter Cha is pregnant, the association has approved more Ranked hunters for the programme. So, if you want to skip more formalities and stick together, I suggest you do anything you can to get her pregnant, Hunter Sung…”

Jinwoo nodded and stood there in a state of shock as Woo Jinchul left and the door closed behind him. Another pairing was disastrous, downright wrong and bad and not an option.

Shit, how the hell could Jinwoo get himself out of this? He only just got you close to him. No fucking way would he let you go and if he had to take on the Chairman himself, he’d make him disappear into blood mist before he let himself slip from the lulling confines of the space between your legs.

How on earth was he going to sit across the table from that man who was set on ripping you away from him?

Self restraint. That’s how, though Jinwoo barely had much when it came to you.

He was fucking you tonight, and his load better take.

Part 3 <- Part 4 -> Part 5

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DISCLAIMER - Crossposted from my AO3 - I do not own any of the characters or anything from the anime or manhwa. This is a work of fan fiction and is absolutely not representative of the views or intentions of the original creator(s).

Also please don’t post any of my work without permission thank you!

[dolicekiss]

Good afternoon/morning!

If you are still taking requests, I'd love to ask if you could maybe do a yandere Hannibal x reader (female if that would be okay) one-shot where the reader is one of Hannibals favourite patients (maybe shes a writer who gets alot of nightmares or something).

However, during one of their sessions, she reveals that she is withdrawing as she is moving back to Europe (this obvi messes up whatever plans Hannibal had for her). Perhaps she is moving away because she has realised how dangerous Hannibal really is and does not want to get involved.

It would be interesting to see how you would interpret Hannibals' thoughts, feelings, and next plan of action after hearing such daunting news.

Thank you <3

♡: i hope i did this justice

Shattered Dreams

PAIRING: Yandere!Hannibal X Patient!Reader

CONTENT WARNING: yandere hannibal, implied stalking, coercion, manipulation, mention of death, trauma, nightmares, mind games, mention of blood

Draped in a beautiful silk dress, a cashmere coat over your shoulders, your presence was loud and evident in Hannibal Lecter’s office.

You reminded him of him.

Charming, sophisticated, beautiful and completely enthralling. He knew somewhere he was too similar to you and that resonated with him. An attachment had already formed, an ethical sort of attachment which could put his career into danger

Yet he found himself not caring.

His main focus was you.

He often found himself imagining you by his side, as his other half. His soulmate, the only one for him and solely the mere imagination pleased him but it worked to increase his hunger too.

Anytime a patient other than you would show up, he'd have a scowl on his face and tend to their needs like he was being held at gun point.

But when you'd come.

It was like fucking spring had arrived in his office. Flowers blooming, radiance everywhere and even your scent was sweet like floral.

Here you were, once more in his office to converse about the demons that haunted you. Hannibal was the best at his job, too good but deep down, you'd already caught whiff of the danger that he was and could amount to.

He scared you.

No matter how many sweet smiles he'd sent you, the amount of terms of endearment he'd use to address to you — none of it concealed the monstrosity he harbored inside him. You'd captured it and now you were in a dilemma.

Whether to leave or tell the law enforcement.

You inhaled sharply and then slowly exhaled, a breathing exercise Hannibal had taught you to help you regulate your breathing.

“Everything alright, miss?” His gruff voice pulled you back into reality and you nodded your head quickly, not wanting him to know that you knew about his depraved instincts.

You smiled softly. “Yes.”

“Did you have nightmares again?”

“Yes.” You responded truthfully. “It does not matter how many books I write, how many characters I kill, there seems to be no end to these nightmares.”

Your nightmares stemmed from an accident you'd faced as a child. The only survivor were you, the only kin left while the rest of your family had died. Right before your very gaze.

It did not matter how much sleeping pills you took or how much coffee you drank. As soon as you'd fall into a slumber, the haunting eyes of your deceased mother would always stare back at you — lifeless and soulless.

And no matter how many times you dreamed of the bloody incident, you did not find yourself forgetting about them. You wanted to forget it, blur out the faces of your famo members but as each day passed by, it only grew more vivid and clear.

Its like your brain was working in reverse.

“Have you tried what I asked you to do?”

You looked up at him.

There it was, that smile of his.

It had nearly worked to trap you.

But you caught onto the danger looming beneath him. You were no foreigner to danger and Hannibal Lecter was a blood thirsty man who killed, killed and savored. You had no desire to end up as his meal. Or buffet.

“I need to tell you something.”

When you'd uttered those words out, Hannibal could already sense something wasn't right. You didn't appear as your usual self. You were rather, chatty and spoke to him about your problems. Worked together as a team to cure this plague that had jeopardized your sleep.

But today you were different.

Quiet, reserved, hands stable and placed over your knees.

Hannibal gestured for you to go ahead.

“I have decided to move to Europe.” You broke the news with a deep breath. Fingers bending and nails grazing across the fabric of your dress.

Hannibal tilted his head in confusion.

Akin to a puppy.

He didn't see any problem with your sessions nor did he find you troublesome. He was sure you also liked him, as your therapist but you did. There was some sort of fondness, between the two of you. There had to be. You were his favorite, you'd become a part of him without even realizing or intending to do so and now you wanted to leave?

Leave him?

There was not a corner in the world made for you to hide from him. Anywhere you'd go, he would find you.

Hannibal blinked, the darkness within him clawing at him, clawing for you. Commanding him over and over again to offer you drugged wine and take you so you wouldn't leave for Europe.

He put on a polite smile, hoping that would veil the darkness in him. “May I ask why?”

Your lips shuddered. “For a change. I think moving away from here would be better since my whole family died here, maybe the nightmares will stop occurring.”

Those nightmares might stop occurring but the nightmare Hannibal was about to become wouldn't stop.

You noticed the subtle change in his gaze and shifted in your seat, uncomfortable and uneasy.

Hannibal nodded, feigning understanding but he was all over the place. Everything was under his control — every damn thing since the beginning. How did he begin to lose control? There was absolutely no way he could let you move to Europe, let you get far away from him where he can't bask in the vision of you.

He would go to the ends of the Earth just to catch a mere glimpse of you.

He had to coax you out of this. Use coercion into making you stay here for the rest of your life.

Hannibal had plans for you.

Big plans.

He was going to make you his, bring you closer to him, unveil a part of him that no one had ever seen before.

He'll he'd fucking told you about Mischa today and no one knew about her. He had shown you parts of him no one had seen and now you were going to abandon him? Take those parts of him witj you and leave him empty, fucking lonely and abandoned?

Oh Hannibal was not going to let that happen.

He nearly felt angry.

Rage bubbling up inside him but he controlled it, calming it down.

“You have a life here, miss. A proper life; friends, colleagues, relatives. Don't you think abandoning it all would be a bit too extreme and intense, even for you?”

You bit on your lower lip.

In a way he was right.

Your whole life you had lived it here. Friends, closest of closest, relatives — the only blood relation left after the demise of your own and colleagues. It was all too difficult to leave them behind but fear was a tool which worked to push people to do things they never would've even thought about.

You swallowed. “I know, Doctor Lecter but these nightmares haunt me. These memories do not disappear, so it is better that I leave.”

Hannibal started to play with his hands.

They sat comfortably over his knees and all he could do was toss and turn his fingers, scratch his palm, the only way to actually show the unbridled emotion he was overwhelmed with. Yet his face carried a sweet smile like he was completely happy and supportive of your decision.

Hannibal saw how your lips shuddered when you spoke. They often shuddered when you'd lie in the beginning about your feelings, about how you did not miss your deceased family one bit.

He wondered if you were lying.

His own fingers tracing along his lips.

“Have you thought about where you'd go to? I mean, Europe is a vast place.” Hannibal commented and you swallowed, in a dilemma whether you should reveal your whereabouts or not.

It was a country.

A huge country.

He couldn't actually find you there, right?

“France.” You said, with a subtle smile on your face.

You wanted to get out of your comfortable seat, go home, pack your bags, board the plane and never look back. The man sitting before you was a killer, a cannibalistic serial killer and you didn't allow that to sink it at all in his presence.

Afraid your demeanor would break.

It would shatter and he'd capture you.

Hannibal grinned.

That was all he needed.

“Marseille is a beautiful city.” Hannibal said while his hawk like gaze analyzed your facial expressions.

Nothing.

You nodded in agreement. “So I've heard.”

“And Lyon too. I've been there.” He said, standing up from his couch and moving over to stand by his wooden desk. When he mentioned Lyon, not a single crease formed on your face nor did your lips shiver.

So it wasn't Lyon either.

Hannibal was viciously smart and he was going to find the city you were going to settle in sooner or later. “Nice has beautiful art. You should go there too.”

Your face scrunched up.

Hannibal caught that. The little crease of discomfort forming in your forehead and a feeling of satisfaction spread in his insides.

You were moving there.

“I think I should go now, Doctor Lecter.” You said, standing up when you realized your session had ended a long time ago.

This was the last session you'd ever share with him.

Hannibal walked towards you, hand extended out. “It was nice having you as my patient, sweetheart. Hopefully your nightmares will slowly disappear with time.”

Even though it was a goodbye, it did not feel like it.

Your gaze dropped down to his hand and you nodded, taking his hand and shaking it. His hold grew a little firm but you didn't say anything, slowly releasing his hand and retrieving it. “Thank you, Doctor Lecter. For all your help.”

He grinned as he watched you turn around and leave his office.

This was not going to be the last time you'll see of the man and he'll make sure of that.

Hannibal licked his lips. The sound of the door shutting putting a crack in his heart — his chest aching for a glimpse of you but he knew this wasn't the end. There was more, with him, there was always more.

You could not escape this easily.

— ♡ —

Months had passed.

You were still adjusting your life in this new country, surrounded by new people who speak a completely different language but you were still learning.

Your nightmares had deceased greatly by spending time in a foreign country and in a way, you were thankful for Hannibal. Because of him you'd abandoned your birth place — which honestly plagued you.

There was nothing left for you there.

Only bad memories and horrific nightmares.

You'd forgotten about nearly everything in that country except a certain blonde; Hannibal Lecter.

He still haunted you.

After that last session, you never possibly heard from him ever again. You met a man too, who claimed to have feelings for you but the next day he was reported for bad behavior against women. They had removed him from your workplace.

You felt a little sad that a man like that had shown interest in you.

Still, life was getting better and better.

You were still writing and had signed a deal with a new publishing house but other than that, you gave lectures at a university for your own knowledge and sake.

Your life felt like it had finally fallen into place.

“They have a new lecturer, have you seen him?” A female colleague asked and you looked up at her from your laptop. You shook your head.

The woman smiled. “Well, he'll be here soon. He's done PHD and has a masters degree too.”

You blinked a little but then went back to typing on your laptop, finishing the last chapter of your book. Break was finished after a few minutes but this time instead of heading back to your class, you were told to head to the office and give the new lecturer a tour.

Apparently he was a big deal, someone who had studied the human mind through and through.

You made your way to the office, opening the door with a smile. The dean sat there but the familiar mop of blonde slicked back hair caught your attention more — your fingers tightening around the metal hold of the door.

He turned around and with a smile, greeted you. “Hello, sweetheart.”

Hannibal was in Nice, in your university, as a lecturer.

Your face went pale.

Was there truly no escape from him?

[chilschuck]

Hear me out...

Witch/mage half-foot reader x chilchuck? Iy would be cute i think?

Maybe they have that carefree, mad hatter-y vibe that makes chil grow white hairs every single moment lol

(sorry for any mistakes, english isnt my first language)

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA and i hope i did it justice!!! struggling to write for some reason lately but i got this out for you and i’m so happy that i finished it!!

— CHILCHUCK: x mage half-foot!reader.

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw + gn!reader!

꒰ wc: ꒱ 570

✦ hope this turned out okay!!! i am trying to get out at least one request a day! <3 enjoy!!

✦ You made it very known you were interested in joining the party, and Laios suggested it wouldn’t be too bad to have another magic user around. Since no one had really any objections to it, you became the party’s second half-foot member.

✦ With a smaller amount of mana than other races, you used your magic in smaller bursts. Even with having to be more observant of when you used it, you were definitely more of a carefree soul than the other members.

✦ Running headfirst into whatever monster made an appearance was common for you, and Chilchuck grabbing you by the collar and pulling you to safety with him was as well. You seemed to have a knack for making Chilchuck grow more gray hairs, whether it be by scaring the hell out of him with reckless behavior or disappearing for a span of time before popping up right behind him. (He didn’t want to guess what exactly you went off to do.)

✦ Chilchuck, when given the chance, would grab you by your shoulders to get onto you about your reckless behavior. To his dismay, you usually gave him that sly, carefree grin you always did. You two were definitely polar opposites in some regards, and Chilchuck had to routinely keep his heart from stopping when you put yourself in danger.

✦ That isn’t to say you weren’t skilled at what you do: even Chilchuck knew you had talent. It was more so that you had a bit more fun than needed, which caused the already older half-foot to feel like he’s aging more.

✦ All his concerns and reprimanding aside, he really did enjoy your company. Maybe it was your whimsical sort of outlook or the way you carried yourself, but he was definitely drawn to you. The first time he realized this was when you scared him so badly that he thought he had lost you. After letting him know you were fine and that it’s nothing some healing won’t fix up, he knew you had begun to grow on him.

✦ You made sure to tease him about his concern over your wellbeing, letting him know you were more than capable of taking care of yourself. Maybe even purposefully putting him on edge with some of your shenanigans just to see him freak out a little.

✦ Secretly, Chilchuck admired how gutsy you were, even if your mad hatter-like personality gave him heart palpitations. He wondered what it must be like to not have any concerns like that, sometimes catching his attention being solely on you and your work.

✦ It didn’t help that you and your personality were pretty charming, after all. Maybe he even found it cute how engrossed in certain aspects of magic you’d get. And how excited you got when you succeeded at something. Also how you’d sometimes catch yourself daydreaming and get lost in thought. The list goes on, much to his dismay.

✦ The half-foot would always deny it, but sometimes Marcille sees the way he looks at you and absolutely teases him. Apparently, it reminds her of a romance novel she read once, about a grumpy man and this mage that taught him how to live life to the fullest. Chilchuck swatted her away, trying his best to ignore the feeling in his chest at that. He definitely has some thinking to do… (And feelings to acknowledge!!)

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

[genshin-side-piece]

The Hawk and The Sparrow

*Blows the dust bunnies off of this one* This one has been sitting for a minute and by a minute, I mean like the beginning of the Sumeru chapter. It's amazing what a week off of work does for the creative mind.

Characters: Alhaitham, Kaveh, GN reader (no pronouns or descriptions used for reader)

Warnings: Minors DNI, 18+, Yandere themes, Yandere Behavior, Power Imbalance, Master/apprentice dynamic, Abuse of power, Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Touching, Dark themes, not smut (sorry), angst My bad writing, Anything Else I Missed

“There you are, sparrow.” It took you a few seconds to react, but when you did, your entire body froze. While the intrusion of Alhaitham’s voice wasn’t a terrible surprise, you hadn’t expected it this soon. He had been away on business, with no word on when he might return. It had been your hope that when he returned he would be so exhausted from his weeks away that he would simply go home. As you had left the city this morning, your mind had conjured images of him standing at the city gates, impatiently tapping his foot as he waited for you to return or even him patrolling the border as you leered at it from a distance. You should have considered that he wouldn’t be satisfied with simply waiting. It was a foregone conclusion that upon his return to the city, one of the first people he would want to see would be you. If you weren’t where he expected you to be, then he was more than capable of finding you. “Thank you for making me spend most of my final day off searching half of Sumeru for you.” On instinct, you focused on the drawing in your lap. You knew better than to give him your full attention right away. Alhaitham’s acuity when it came to mind games was second to none. It was a talent few knew he possessed. For those that did, they were, well you were wary to enter into such a battle with him. It was easier to act coy or feign stupidity. At least then you would only have to endure a lecture versus accepting what Alhaitham felt were the full consequences of your actions. “A tad dramatic, don’t you think? Don’t tell me Kaveh is starting to rub off on you.” His low growl echoed across the small clearing, causing you to smirk. “Tell me, was your intention to press your luck today or are you merely interested in testing my lack of patience the instant I return?” Your smirk widened at the hint of irritation in his normally smooth voice. “Would you believe me if I said neither?” You briefly looked up from your sketch, glancing over your shoulder at him. “Since your return was open ended, I had no clue when I would see you again. I am merely enjoying the day.” Behind you, the soles of his ornate shoes brushed across the grass as he stepped further into the clearing. “Really?” There was a chuckle. “Does your enjoyment necessitate the need for no escort, no Akasha terminal, and no word to Kaveh as to your whereabouts?” He clicked his tongue in disappointment. “Do you have an explanation for me or shall I just add it to the list of infractions that occurred in my absence?” You swallowed, your smirk softly falling. In your world, Alhaitham’s absence had been a blessing. Kaveh was far less observant when it came to what you did and who you spoke to. You had more than taken advantage of the lack of supervision when it came to getting a few things done. It was improbable that Alhaitham had found them all in such a short amount of time, but it wasn’t entirely impossible either. You had long suspected Alhaitham had put a second set of eyes on you before he left, just to ensure you were behaving as you should. 

Since Alhaitham’s departure, there had been one too many instances of the same group of eremites being near you for it not to be the case. You briefly wondered exactly how many so-called infractions of his ridiculous rules had gotten back to him. Had there been daily reports or would that be too much? The trip to Port Ormos wasn’t too bad, but you doubted he was willing to pay someone or a set of someones to go back and forth everyday. Maybe every few days? It was hard for you to say. Still, a small worry began to creep its way up your spine. What did he know? What had he been told? As he said, there was a list. Your mind slowly began to spin at how long it could actually be. “The akasha shouldn’t be a terrible surprise. You know that silly thing hurts my ear if I wear it for too long. It does me no good outside of the city, so I left it behind.” The slight quiver in your voice nearly gave you away. You could see it in how his body shifted, his hips turning so he could block your only exit from view. “It’s a requirement of the Akademiya that you wear one.” You scoffed, trying to hide the unease that was washing over you. “Since when are you concerned about upholding the Akademiya’s mandates? I wonder how they would feel about your latest excursion.” You lazily drug the graphite across the page, acting like you still cared about your landscape. “My latest excursion was at their request.” Unlike yours, which was not. “I thought we discussed your little sketching trips the last time you tried this.” The discussion being that after you had successfully vanished from his sight for an entire day, Alhaitham informed you that you were not allowed to leave the city alone again. “I’m not a child, Haitham. I resent being treated like one.” You added a little bite to your tone in the vain hope that he might pick up on your displeasure. “I needed reference material for a project. Since I was refused a kamera, I decided the only way to get it was to make a few sketches.” You made the conscious choice to not elaborate beyond what you had already said. It was easier to let him admonish you for what he did know, versus adding to your troubles by telling him something he hadn’t discovered yet, which you doubted was very little. His thoroughness when it came to you knew no bounds. That’s why your efforts to keep your secrets hidden was an exhausting affair.  “The distance is trivial, it shouldn’t require an escort. Even if it did, all your favorites have gotten outrageous with their fees. I can use a stick and get equal protection.” You heard him scoff at the suggestion. “As for Kaveh, he was nowhere to be found. I wasn’t interested in searching the entire city just to tell him I was going a stone’s throw away. Though if he really is that worried, he could have asked the forest rangers. I passed their lookout on my way here and told them where I was.” “I’m aware.” There was a long pause. You could feel his eyes on you; searching, scanning, and assessing your figure for anything he might find out of the ordinary. Much too what you imagined was his disappointment, there wasn’t anything egregious. Outside of your missing akasha terminal, you were as he preferred you. The only thing he could fuss about was the amount of sun your exposed neck, shoulders, and back had seen. Then again, he might also take it as a blessing. There was little doubt that Alhaitham would probably jump at the chance to rub aloe into your irritated flesh. “Your location is inconsequential. You’ve been found.” He grated that out in what you guessed was an effort to hide his apparent relief. 

Alhaitham had been anxious about you using his extended trip as an excuse to vanish from Sumeru. There had been the less than ideal suggestion of you going with him, but he had rejected it at the last minute. Having you with him was a liability he couldn’t afford. Hence his need for curfews, boundaries, and you being left under Kaveh’s less than observant eye. The last thing Alhaitham wanted was to lose his precious control over your life and more importantly, you without having a say in the matter. You had already tried to leave his mastery and pursue other opportunities outside of Sumeru on more than one occasion. Each attempt had been met with a strict punishment and an ever tightening grip on your finances. 

Because you were apprenticed to him, he had the right to take everything you made for himself. Much to your chagrin, it was a right he exercised often. There was always a long winded speech about your lack of responsibility or your foolish ways before he took your hard earned money from you. Anything he returned to you was the result of his so-called generosity. As your master, he was expected to provide for you. But your definition of being provided for was far different than his. He viewed your needs as requiring the basic essentials and nothing more. Anything extra had to be requested and in some cases begged for. If he granted your wish, then the item would be purchased for you rather than him giving you the money. He was well aware of the danger that came with handing you a bag of Mora and letting you galavant around with it. The one and only time he had done that, he had barely caught you at the docks before the ship had sailed. 

“Though since you refuse to wear your Akasha Terminal as you’ve been asked to.” You flinched at how he drew out the word asked. “I may employ Kaveh’s suggestion of sewing little bells into your clothes or maybe I’ll just hang a large one around your neck.” Like he would a pet. The ridiculousness of that made you want to throw your sketch pad at him. You reviled that he kept tabs on you. His incessant need to hover over you was suffocating. Not wearing your accursed Akasha Terminal was one of the few ways you could insure some level of privacy from him, even if it was short lived.

“I think some would find that terribly disruptive. Most professors demand silence during the lectures. I doubt they would be welcoming of such a distraction, even if it came from the grand oiseau himself.” You heard an annoyed huff come from behind you. “Since I’m outside the city and the Akademiya, I doubt Kaveh’s precious bells would have proved useful.” Alhaitham grunted in response. “If anything, wouldn’t they draw danger to me?” “He also made mention of locking you in my study should I decide to go away again. He was quite vocal about how difficult you’ve been in my absence.” It was laughable to think you had been the difficult one. Despite your best effort to keep up appearances while going behind Alhaitham’s back, Kaveh made it especially challenging to do so. Visual contact had, at least in terms of him laying eyes on you, been impossible. If you could find him, he had been face down on Lambad’s bar or passed out on Alhaitham’s couch in a fit of exhaustion. In your desperation to not alert Alhaitham that something was amiss, you had been reduced to leaving notes in Kaveh’s hand as proof of your daily check-ins. The last thing you needed or wanted was for your keeper to come back early because he believed you had fled his ever present eye before you had actually done it. “Not that I feel it’s a reasonable solution, but why save that particular joy for your infrequent trips outside the city? You already watch me morning, noon, and night when I’m at the Akademiya. I’m surprised you haven’t insisted I enjoy that delight so you can observe me as I sleep.” Your sarcasm wasn’t lost on him. Nor did it do much to improve his mood. You could feel his eyes burning a hole in your back. 

“If I thought it plausible, I might.” His voice had a tone you didn’t like. His normally condescending manner had degraded into a quiet outrage that sent a small shiver all over your body. The last time you had heard that tone, he had shown you exactly how much power he had over your life. It wasn’t an experience you wanted to repeat. “Regrettably, I lack a cage large enough to keep you confined for any real length of time.” He had moved closer, his cape swirling the air between you. “Kaveh is as tired of your shenanigans as I am. It seems whatever sympathy he had for you has run out. He mentioned that he was all too eager to design you something before I came searching for you. Maybe I’ll take him up on it.” A heavy silence fell between you. Your mind silently debated whether he was serious or not. Alhaitham wasn’t one to jest about punishment. His one insistence was the expectation of his rules being followed.  But the notion that he would bring himself to completely confine you as a means of controlling you was a step too far, even for him. Allowing you your liberty, more importantly allowing you the chance to shine was a positive reflection on him and the Akademiya as a whole. Even if his reputation wasn’t entirely important to him, you doubted he wanted that to change, unless he had discovered your largest transgression before you had the chance to do anything about it. 

A glance over your shoulder told you all you needed to know. His clenched jaw and stormy eyes were an indication of exactly how livid he was. His fury went beyond his previously listed reasons for being here. While not wearing your Akasha terminal, having no escort and the most egregious of all, failing to inform Kaveh of your whereabouts were simple infractions. They weren’t anything you hadn’t done before. They were behaviors that Alhaitham found at worst, annoying. He had tried to curb them, but generally speaking they brought little more than being restricted to spending your free time in his office for a few days. This was different. This was a level you hadn’t pushed him too before. This meant only one thing.

Silently, Alhaitham reached into a pocket that was concealed by his cloak, pulling out a wax sealed piece of parchment. Your eyes fixated on it, your entire body going cold when he held it in front of you. “Interestingly, this was waiting for me when I returned.” You felt your mouth go dry as you continued to stare at it, your heart sinking like a stone as he ran his fingers over the broken seal. “Kaveh told me it was delivered to the house this morning.” Of course it was. You closed your eyes, grinding your jaw for a moment. Word had reached you that it was being sent. You had thought that the Akademiya might be kind enough to send it to Alhaitham’s office. Then you would have had a chance to retrieve it before he ever got word of it, but fate had not been kind to you. Instead, it had been sent directly to Alhaitham’s home, likely because that would be the first place he would go once he returned. The confirmation that Kaveh had received it meant that Alhaitham had been alerted to it almost instantly. It was probably what triggered Alhaitham’s unexpected return and his confrontation with you now. “Here I thought we had buried the concept for good. Yet-” He let out a breathy chuckle. “You are always full of surprises, aren’t you?” You slowly opened your eyes at the sound of him shifting his weight. The light clinking of ornate embellishments of his outfit broke the silence between you filling the void. “Do you have any kind of defense?” Not that it would save you. He already had more than enough cause to punish you. The letter in his hand was just the icing on the proverbial cake.

You impassively shook your head while you continued to focus on the piece of paper in his hand. He had you. There wasn't a lie in the world that could save you from him. You knew what you had done. More so, you knew the lengths you had gone to get it. The document in question was the proverbial carrot that Alhaitham had dangled in front of you ever since he had taken you under his wing. Your freedom relied on it, your sanity depended on it. Your eyes focused on the stamped seal of approval from the Akademiya. They traced every bump, every dip of the wax. Even the break where it had been opened burned its way into your memory. How could it not? It wasn’t everyday one received a graduation letter from the Akademiya. It was even less likely for you, since your master and benefactor had denied you of it ever since you had come under his tutelage. 

It hadn’t taken you long to figure out that your main roadblock to your future was Alhaitham himself. He had found you on one of your trips through Sumeru. You had set up a small stall in the streets of Port Ormos, peddling sketches and caricatures to tourists while you made a study of the port. You remembered it and him at first because he had spent nearly an hour looking over the pieces you had on offer. He had been especially engrossed with a study of the ruins near Ay-Khanoum. After three additional visits that same day, he deemed you worthy enough to speak to. His curiosity was mainly about how you had reached the ruins, but he also asked other questions; where had you learned, who you were apprenticed under, and the most damning of all, were you traveling with anyone? His reaction when you had answered no to his final question was something you should have been wary of. From that time until you were ready to leave Port Ormos, he had lingered close to your stall. Even after you had moved it to a more crowded area, he still found you.  Patrons taking an interest in you wasn’t anything new. You’d had many offers to stay in the different villages and towns that you had visited. Alhaitham was not the first person to offer to keep you in comfort so you wouldn’t have to endure the life of a wandering artist. Even if that life was entirely your choice. To him, someone of your talent deserved to have their skill honed to the highest level. It was a privilege to study at the Akademiya. You should consider yourself fortunate that such a distinguished and respected figure within the Akademiya was willing to personally sponsor the next step in your education. Nevermind that it was a privilege that you had never wanted or asked for. It was enough that Alhaitham wanted it for you and whatever he wanted, he got. The mind games he so expertly played made sure of that.

Under the guidance of your darshan, your skill had grown exponentially. Some had even gone so far as to say your skill exceeded Alhaitham’s at his current age, nevermind his younger self. The man himself was pleased with your progression. At least, you thought he was pleased. Your overall academic progress never seemed to matter to him. He instead insisted on you following his ever increasing, ever suffocating list of rules. You had thought to leave when it all started. When he first began to tighten his hold on you. In the beginning, Alhaitham had been largely content to simply observe you. It hadn’t mattered if you were in the public spaces of the Akademiya or in the privacy of one of the many art studios, those of eyes of his seemed to follow you wherever you went. You had diverged on many occasions, trying your best to shake the oppressive presence of your sponsor. The result had been Alhaitham leaving his proverbial perch to track you down. Once back in his field of vision, he tightened his hold on you, slowly and steadily trapping you in his firm grip. By the time you realized what was going on, it was far too late to do anything about it. Instead your escape attempts were thwarted, your departure from the Akademiya refused. 

It was hard to remember when his attention had changed from observational to physical. He wasn’t terribly affectionate, yet he always managed to let his fingers linger on yours whenever he would take the graphite from you to show you something. That escalated into those same fingers toying with the sensitive skin of your neck while he hovered over you in the evening. You had tried to minimize the unwanted contact by moving your studio time to earlier in the day. Your hope was to be back in your apartment before he finished work, but luck was not on your side. Like everything else in your life, Alhaitham held a specific level of control over both you and your schedule. Your class times had been optimized to fit with his schedule. The moment you had tried to adjust anything to suit yourself, it was mysteriously shifted back. When questioned why, the registrar merely shrugged. The only excuse that was offered was that the studios were a distracting place during the day. A student of your advanced capability deserved peace and quiet to work. That was why everyone was seemingly insistent that you take an evening slot. Nevermind that it gave Alhaitham all the privacy he could ever want when it came to you. In those moments, the main focus of his attention was your neck and shoulders. Delicate fingers would run along your nape and collar bones while he watched you sketch. A heavy hand often laid upon your shoulder while you practiced your writing. In the very late hours, when it was assured you were alone, his lips would find themselves behind your ear, softly pressing into your sensitive skin. You had tried to stop it, first by asking him, then by telling him, but he had refused. Instead, he got bolder. He exercised his authority over you, by commanding that you keep his favorite spots exposed for his pleasure. When you defied him by hiding them with scarves and other items, he retaliated. Your wardrobe was changed overnight. It was the first of many humiliations to come. 

“I want to leave Haitham.” Your eyes didn’t falter from their fixation on the letter. Your voice didn’t even so much as tremble. Not when your freedom was in the palm of his hand. His continued control of your life had only cemented your resolve to be rid of him once and for all. The letter meant that upon your official graduation, you would be released from your apprenticeship to Alhaitham. According to the laws of the Akademiya it meant that in some aspects, namely the financial ones, he would have to yield his control of you. Once that happened, you would be able to trigger the final part of your plan. “I’m tired of this place.” You were tired of his demands. You were tired of being a possession. You were tired of him. “I want to travel again.” You wanted to put as much distance between you and him as was humanly possible. Even if it meant living on a boat in the middle of the ocean for the rest of your life, you were prepared to do so. Just to be rid of him. “And you believe I’ll allow any of that.” His tone was like acid, burning you word after word as he disregarded your reasons for wanting to get away. It wasn’t like he was blind to them. Alhaitham was all too aware of them. This wasn’t a new conversation for either of you. There had been numerous occasions where you had demanded he let you leave, only to be thwarted by the very piece of paper that was now in his hand. As long as you didn’t have it, he could keep you.  “It doesn’t matter if you do or you don’t.” You finally tore your eyes away from the letter, craning your neck upward so you could stare into his malicious gaze. “That piece of paper severs your hold over me.” According to the Akademiya, you were free. 

The news of that went over as well as you expected it too. Losing was not something Alhaitham was accustomed to, especially when the source of his defeat was someone he viewed as inferior. He had gone to great lengths to insure that you would never graduate. The fury that raged in his eyes when he realized you had gotten around all of them was akin to a hurricane. Menacing and swirling and desperate. He was dangerous when he was like this. You knew that, yet you stood firm in both your reasons and your actions. Any punishments incurred from here on out would fall under the purview of the law. You could bring his actions up to the Matra and they would be obligated to investigate. It was one of the many benefits your graduation had brought you. More so, he wouldn’t be able to prevent it. The letter meant everything had become official. Your graduation and your subsequent release from his care had been registered in the official records. If Alhaitham tried to deny you had graduated, all the matra needed to do to confirm it was check the lists. “No.” His hand tightened around the letter, crushing the piece of paper with almost no effort. “Have I not told you countless times that you are not ready to move forward, yet you are insistent on disobeying me.” 

“If not now, when?” You stood up releasing some of the anger that had been pent up inside of you. “I know you think me stupid. I know you view me as blind.” You matched his harsh tone, spitting every word at him in the hope that they would hurt him as much as you wanted them too. “But I won’t be ensnared in your trap any longer.” You took a shallow breath, mentally steadying yourself. “I want my life back. I was fine before you tricked me into joining the Akademiya. I’ve been miserable since. I’ve had my fill of it. I don’t want anything more to do with it or you!” His lips curled into a sneer.

“Is that so?” He took a step forward, his grip tightening even further around the letter. “Did you ask for my blessing before you did this? Did I grant you my permission to do such a thing?” He reached for you and on instinct you leaned back, tossing the only weapon you had at him in the hope it would stop him. 

“I have an offer.” It worked. 

Alhaitham stopped where he stood, his eyes growing wide at that statement. His face shifted from anger to disbelief to something you didn’t recognize in a matter of seconds. He almost looked as if he hadn’t heard you correctly. But he had. You knew he had. The anger that practically radiated off his frame told you he had.

“I beg your pardon.” The tone of the statement cut right through your confidence. Admitting you had a way out had been a mistake. It had been your intention to never reveal it, at least not until you were well and truly away from him. The letter explaining your escape route, along with your packed bags were back at your apartment. Your intention was to leave the second you had your graduation letter, but that plan had been obviously foiled. Now you had realized Alhaitham’s worst fear for him, in the hope that it would deter him from pressing you any further. It was a foolish move on your part. One you would later come to regret. “I- have an- offer.” You tried to swallow the lump that had formed in your throat, but it was as persistent as his scowl. “The- the court of Fontaine. They wrote again-” The Palais Mermonia was in desperate need of a courtroom sketch artist. They had written months ago after one of your old sketches had ended up in the Palais. Alhaitham had insisted you turn it down, because he needed you here. Now they had written again, this time more urgently. They had even offered you an advance, just to tempt you with the concept of acceptance. “They increased their offer from before.” You couldn’t refuse. Not when the position and the money were your ticket out of Sumeru. “I want out, Haitham.” You said that with every ounce of force in your body, hoping to get your point across.

An extended silence passed between you two, one that was filled by the sound of the wind as it whipped around you. 

“Fine.” That answer confounded you. Fine? After years of refusals and torments he finally agrees? It didn’t seem right. It didn’t feel right. Alhaitham wasn’t one to give up, nor did he readily accept defeat. Especially when he had been caught off guard. That meant one thing; there was a catch, somewhere. You knew Alhaitham well enough to know that if there was one plan, then there were at least seven back ups. The man didn’t breathe without a contingency in place. That’s why his sudden acquiescence, especially when he was still seething from your previous conversation, seemed out of sorts. Because it was. There was a trick up his nonexistent sleeve. “I’m sorry, what?” You furrowed your eyebrows at him, hesitant to show him the confusion that was radiating through your body. “You want out of the Akademiya? Fine.” His words were clipped and sharp, lacking any real sincerity. “I’ll grant that to you. You’re out. It saves me the trouble of purging the records once we return to the city.” You gently shook your head. “I want out of Sumeru, Haitham. I want my own life.” An odd, almost all knowing smirk crossed his lips. “I’ll give you that as well.” You blinked at him, your eyes as wide as saucers. For a brief moment you actually thought your brain had broken and your ears deceived you. He agreed? “If you do one thing for me.” There it was. You wanted to laugh at how predictable he could be sometimes. “From now, until you leave Sumeru, you will wear your Akasha terminal.” He reached around behind him, pulling the accursed thing from his pocket. He offered it to you, expectantly waiting for you to take it. You would not deny that it felt too good to be true. After everything had put you through, you could not shake the feeling that you were being deceived once again. 

“That’s it?” Your eyes kept moving between his face and the terminal in his hand. “All I have to do is wear this until I leave and I’m free?” The smirk grew larger and with it, so did your hesitation. You didn’t want to trust it or him really. All you had to do was wear your akasha terminal until you left Sumeru and he would let you go free? The offer was too easy. Too simple. Two things Alhaitham never was. There was also the complete lack of a second option to consider. If you refused, what would happen? Would he drag you back to the city kicking and screaming? Would he purge your graduation as a means of keeping you? It was hard to say, hard to know. But that was the point. You were gambling on two unknowns; could you really trust him to do as he said or could you stand whatever punishment he deemed most appropriate? It didn’t matter. You were damned either way. “You’ll truly let me go?”

“Do as I ask and I will happily grant you the new life you seek.”

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You should’ve listened to your instincts. You should’ve run as fast as you could. You should’ve removed the akasha terminal before going to bed that night. If you had, you wouldn’t have had to face the horrific reality that greeted you when next woke.

A new life. That’s what he had said. Do as he asked and he would grant you a new life. You had been foolish enough to believe that Alhaitham would do the right thing and allow you the new life you had made for yourself. You weren’t to know that when he had sent you home that night, that the Akademiya would be running an experiment. That everyone wearing an Akasha terminal within a specific radius would be pulled into a deep slumber for an undetermined amount of time. Alhaitham though, through his privileged position at the Akademiya, had. It was why the deal he had offered had been so ungodly simple. All he needed was for you to be wearing the terminal while you slept. Once in the experiment’s hold, he could do as he liked to you, for as long as the experiment lasted. Which was what led you here.

It had been an odd sensation to wake up in the room or rather the cell you would be forced to call home. At the start, you couldn’t quite place it. The ornate woodwork that ran along the ceiling and the cushions beneath you were both entirely unfamiliar. Your apartment and your bed, both of which you firmly remembered falling asleep in, were much simpler. Alhaitham had refused the idea of allowing you anything remotely grand. If you wanted splendor, you could find it in his home. So you had long settled for the simplicity of your surroundings. That’s why the silks and the satins, the ornate carvings, and the gilded bars felt entirely out of place; because they weren’t yours. This was not your apartment. You thought them to be part of another dream. A bizarre image created by your mind due the stress of the last few days. Alhaitham had said he would let you go. He had promised it. Yet as the terror of reality slowly began creeping its way into your bones, you tried to lie and tell yourself this wasn’t real. He hadn’t. He couldn’t. No, you were leaving for Fontaine in the morning. Alhaitham was going to let you go. You kept telling yourself that, right up until you turned your head, finding the man himself staring back at you through the bars of your new gilded cage. 

He didn’t speak to you. Not initially. He just stared, as he liked to do in the quieter moments. He allowed you the privilege of assessing your present circumstances on your own. Of letting you reach your own conclusion when it came to what they meant. He granted you the rare right to the blinding rage that filled you to the brim after the reality of your situation finally sunk in. He had lied to you. He had tricked you. He had trapped you. There would be no escape. He had finally acted on the overarching threat that had hung over your head like a blade waiting to strike. Alhaitham had made you his. “Haitham?” Your voice quivered as your barely maintained control of it. Gods above how you just wanted to scream at him. Even if it would be deemed unnecessary at this stage, you still wanted to. If nothing else than to release the emotions that were threatening to suffocate you. “You must have still been tired from all your exertions while I was away.” The flat calm of his voice incensed you further. The sheer audacity of the man to be unaffected by the looming consequences of his actions sent you to another level where your fury was concerned. Even if there was nothing you could physically do to him, Alhaitham could have had the good manners to sound somewhat remorseful for the fact that he had tricked you. “I took your akasha terminal off hours ago.” You tried to take a deep breath to calm yourself, knowing full well it would do nothing to help. The deep, stuttering quality of the release of it matched the wrath that was vibrating through your body. “Did you sleep well?” An absurd question all things considered. “What’s going on?” You sat up fully, using the cold metal bars as a means of support when you could finally manage to stand. “What have you done?” 

He rose from his place on the sofa opposite the cage, taking one last moment to look you over before he closed the distance between you. It wasn’t a large gap, in fact, he closed in what felt like a second. To you though, it felt like an eternity. He was savoring his victory. The look of utter satisfaction he gave you when he stopped in front of you nearly made you take his face off. The only thing that stopped you was that it was well out of your reach. “I cannot admire you to my own satisfaction if you are in Fontaine, sparrow.” He confidently reached out, the pads of his fingers running down the column of your neck, daring to pause long enough at the base so he could brush his thumb over your exposed collarbone. “I shudder to think what could have happened to you had you slipped away.” You would be free. That’s what would have happened. You would be in Fontaine and completely free of him. “This is a much better arrangement, don’t you think?” 

“How is this better?!” Hot tears began to stream down your face, burning your skin more with each drop that rolled across your cheeks. “I’m behind bars because of you!” The idea that he acted on his threat to confine you to this degree was not the worst part of this, but it was the most horrifying. Alhaitham always held himself to such a high standard of logic and reason. It was impossible to believe that he would go to such a barbaric level just to maintain his control over you. “I did warn you about the cage. What a pity that you didn’t listen.” Your fingers tightened around the bars. “All you had to do was behave and I would have left you at liberty.” He chuckled. “Such a shame you couldn’t even manage that.” Behave. He meant stay. The price of your liberty was  staying in Sumeru until one of you died. Had you just done that, you would have woken up in your bed or at worst his. Instead, you had pressed the offer from Fontaine. You had demanded he let you go. You actually tried to leave. Now in his mind, you had to pay the price for your folly.

“HAITHAM” Your fingers released the bars long enough for you to slap them in pure frustration. “This isn’t fair- this isn’t legal!” He didn’t fight you on either point, he didn’t need to. You were correct on both counts, you knew you were. Confining you was not an ideal solution for him, but your disobedience had forced his hand. You had turned his worst fear into a reality and that was something Alhaitham wasn’t about to allow. “Let me out!” You hit the cage again, more for effect than anything else. “Or?” He retracted his hand from you, folding his arms in amusement, almost challenging you to threaten him. “You’ll scream?” He shrugged. “Go ahead, no one will hear you.” You swallowed, not liking the dangerous glint in his eyes. 

“We’re in the middle of the city.” Your complete lack of confidence in that statement was all too apparent. The truth was, you didn’t know that for sure. It was an assumption that he had taken the route of least resistance and brought you to his home. But you had been unconscious when he had done so. The sobering reality was, you could be anywhere. Sumeru was rife with caves and ruins alike. There were any number of places where one could hide a person or themselves if they needed to. Places that the matra didn’t know of or places they didn’t care to go. Places that Alhaitham was prepared to take advantage of, should he need to. “Are we?” There was a small smirk. “Are you sure about that?” Your only response was to look away from him. Having to stare at his smug expression was making you sick. “Would you like a hint?” 

“How is this even possible?” You turned back, fixing him with a glare, blatantly ignoring his question. “The last time we spoke, you told me you didn’t have this. The threat to lock me away was an idle one at best.”

“Didn’t I? Interesting that you know what may or may not be in my possession at any given time.” You shook your head in complete denial. He had only just forced you back from the woods yesterday. There was no way he could have gotten this in the span of a night. Either you had been asleep for a lot longer than you thought or something else was going on. “If you’re good, I’ll consider letting you out later to stretch your legs for a bit.” If not, he would keep you locked away for days, even weeks before he would consider letting you out again. Even with your exceptional capability to refuse him at nearly every turn, you could not deny that Alhaitham held all the cards. If you would not offer your compliance freely, then he could demand it in other ways. He could force it if it was absolutely necessary, but he would wear you down long before he ever got to that point. The burden of being held captive wasn’t resting on him. Alhaitham was free. He could do as he pleased and you knew it pleased him just to have you. Your presence was enough to satiate any desire he might have. He could easily lose himself in a book and be fine with forcing you to wait to the point that you were willing to beg him for a scrap of attention. Meanwhile, all you could do was stare at the door of your cell and pray that you didn’t descend into madness from the sheer boredom of it all. “I know it’s a foreign concept for you to behave yourself where I’m concerned, but perhaps you could practice it while I’m otherwise engaged today. It’s not like you have anything else to do.” The incredulous nature of his statement caused you to only be able to gape at him in horror.  

Alhaitham’s expectation of you being good, was for you to be utterly compliant to his whims. He expected your gratitude and your adoration in equal measure. Your inability to express either frustrated him to no end. You supposed he felt your current situation would fix that. To achieve an ounce of freedom, you had to do what he wanted. You had to obey. There were no more second chances or mild infractions. Alhaitham’s intentions were all too clear. You become what he wanted you to be. Period. “Kaveh will be in to check on you once he gets back from his errands. Considering he’s as irritated as I am with you, I’m sure a little obedience would go a long way mending the proverbial fence with him.”

“Fuck off.” You spat that at him the hope that it would have some effect on him. It did, but only from the standpoint that it made Alhaitham angrier. You could see it in his eyes when they grew harder, glossing over with the cold apathy that he had mastered. “Language.”  You went to say it again, this time louder, hopefully loud enough that someone would hear, but he cut you off. “Don’t doubt me when I tell you I have all that I need to correct your mistakes. Your language is one of them.” There was a brief pause. “I’ll give you a pass on that little outburst because you’re upset. Perhaps rightfully so. But don’t make the same mistake with your language again. If you choose to continue to scream obscenities at me, then you’ll do so from behind a gag until you know better. Am I clear?” You let out a slow breath, flaring your nostrils at him as you did. God you wanted to try him. You wanted to dare him to act on his threat, just to see if he would follow through on it. You half considered it, until you looked over the bars again. He had gone so far as to build you a cage. A gag or anything else he had squirreled away would be nothing in comparison. “Sparrow. Answer me, courteously.” “I hate you.” You weren’t about to give him the acquiescence he desired. Not today at any rate. “This isn’t even remotely close to fair.” Your hands came around the bars, gripping them with all you had. “It isn’t fair that you were going to sneak away either. Yet you still tried. Consider this your punishment.” He indicated the cage. “When you learn to stay as you should, then I might be persuaded to let you out for an extended period of time, with supervision.” Stay as you should, like a dog. Gods help you. Your previous fury, which hadn’t been subdued by his motives finally succeeded in escaping, launching itself at him with every ounce of strength you had in your body. The bars of the cage rattled in unison with your screams as you pounded against the door to your cell. Much like Alhaitham, it didn’t move. It held firm, keeping you exactly where he wanted you as he took in your tantrum. He watched you fail and cry and scream until you were reduced to a crumpled puddle at his feet, quietly sobbing out what was left of your rage. There was nothing more to do, there was nothing more to say. To your own horror you had to accept the truth, that despite all your careful planning, Alhaitham had still managed to find a way to win.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some time later, that was how Kaveh found you; crumpled against the cage in a broken heap. Enrant tears still fell as you couldn’t quite bring your emotions into check, but your sobbing had long ceased. The only reason it had, was because you had no more energy to do so. Whatever means Alhaitham and Kaveh had been using to keep you alive while you slept weren’t being employed now that you were awake. That meant you were reliant on them to supply you with what you needed to survive. Something you were sure would depend on your behavior and how obedient you choose to be. Knowing Alhaitham, the more you humiliated yourself for his benefit, the better. If you refused, he could starve the defiance right out of you.

“Paradisah?” You flinched at the sound of Kaveh’s voice. He had slipped in a while ago. Like Alhaitham, Kaveh was keen to observe as well. It was an annoying trait they both shared. You wished though, that like Alhaitham, Kaveh had remained silent. You weren’t ready for him. Your anger at Alhaitham, at least the first incarnation of it, had only just subsided. Kaveh didn’t necessarily deserve the tail end of it, simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Had you the energy for it, you would have given him the fresh anger he had earned all on his own. Instead you limply sat there, ignoring him. It was the only defense you could muster. “Darling-” He quickly moved closer, the metal details of his outfit clinking and clanking with every swift step. “Darling, are you alright?” Out of all the statements and questions you had heard today, that took the cake on being the stupidest. Were you alright? You had been abducted and told you would stay locked in some form of a cage for the rest of your life. Of course you weren’t alright. Why would he ask that? “I only just got here. Alhaitham left a note saying to check on you. He mentioned that you might be upset.” Might be. Might be. 

You turned, your head tilting up in utter disbelief as your tired, red rimmed eyes found Kaveh’s. Might be upset. Things that might upset you were things like the coffee shop being out of your favorite blend or being denied art supplies that you needed for a project. Suggesting that you might be upset at your present circumstances was perhaps the understatement of the millenia. There was no might be about it. You had gone well past the point of upset and gone nuclear. The only thing that seemed to contain it was your own mental exhaustion. “Paradi, please don’t be like that. It’s-” He let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s not that bad. Truly it’s not.” For the first time, you were thankful for the bars that separated you from Kaveh. Had they not been there, then there was a very real chance you might have killed him where he stood. “Are you mad?” You didn’t bother to soften your tone for his benefit, not when he was acting like this was the most normal thing in the world. “I’m locked in a cage, Kaveh. A cage.” The anger you thought you didn’t have for him sparked, rapidly reigniting the ashes of the inferno that had been burning inside of you. “Why?” The question had been a rhetorical one, but the blonde scoffed, deciding it needed to be answered. “Because you gave him no other choice!” You watched as Kaveh planted his hands on his narrow hips. “Not to take his side in this, but you did it first! You-” He weakly gestured to you, letting his one hand fall back to his side. “You went behind his back! You went behind my back! By the way, Fontaine? Really?” Kaveh fixed you with a look of utter contempt. “And for so little too.” He shook his head in disgust. “You should at least get what you’re worth if you’re going to try something this stupid.” Like he was one to talk. Kaveh was Sumeru’s reigning king of foolish endeavors and stupid mistakes. The reason for his personal troubles were because he lacked the common sense he was born with. “I wanted my life back. I already live on a pittance, what’s the difference if I do it here or in Fontaine?” The difference was that Alhaitham and Kaveh wouldn’t be with you. While he tried to disguise it as pity or even empathy, Kaveh was every bit as bad as Alhaitham when it came to controlling your life. He didn’t use money or even his position to keep you where he wanted you. Instead, Kaveh’s violent mood swings often played a large role in getting you to do what he wanted. It was easier to comply with his poor pitiful me act than to deal with the outbursts that would follow should you refuse. “I didn’t think you would be one to lecture me about wanting to get away.” You fixed him with a hard look. “Aren’t you always going on about paying off your debts and getting away from him once and for all? Why am I any different? Why do I have to be the one that’s locked in the cage?” “Because you won’t listen!” The force in Kaveh’s voice temporarily silenced you. He stomped so hard his entire outfit rang in your ears. “All we want is to take care of you!” He took a deep breath, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. “Are you that ungrateful? You were sleeping in ruins and shady inns before you came here.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “We’ve offered you a life, a home. Sure Alhaitham is wretched and the whole mora thing is annoying, but does that alone constitute betrayal?” The word be slammed into you like a sack of bricks.

“Betrayal?” You could hardly voice the word. Did Kaveh really believe that? “Yes!” He pointed at you. “Betrayal. You have done nothing but lie to me for the last few weeks. Outside of one or two incidents, I thought we were getting along splendidly. I was ready to give him a glowing report so that he might cut you a little slack. Instead you betrayed me. You went behind my back multiple times to make arrangements for your new life in Fontaine. Then you scared the living daylights out of me when you took your little sketching trip into the woods. They delivered your graduation letter that morning and when I went to find you so we could talk about it, you were gone!  I thought you had tried to run. I spent my day combing Sumeru City trying to find you!” You wanted to feel guilty about that, but you couldn’t quite manage it. Kaveh’s willing participation in this whole fiasco seemed to kill any remorse you tried to have.  “Do you think so little of me that you would do that to me? After everything we’ve been through, you would just leave me behind to deal with his fury?” That you did feel slightly sorry about. You had from the beginning. 

Kaveh was as much of a victim of Alhaitham as you were. While you had to deal with Alhaitham’s wandering hands and his incessant control, Kaveh had to endure endless rounds of verbal abuse that were hurled at him on a minute by minute basis when he and Alhaitham were together. Even if it was mostly brought on by Kaveh’s general attitude, Alhaitham almost always went for the jugular where Kaveh was concerned. There had been plenty of instances where Kaveh had limped away from a fight with Alhaitham, only to lick his wounds in the tavern. The difference between you and Kaveh though was Kaveh’s continued participation in Alhaitham’s scheme to keep you in Sumeru. That’s why you only felt slightly bad about your failed escape. Kaveh deserved many things, but the one thing he didn’t deserve was to face the brunt of Alhaitham’s anger when the truth of your escape finally came to light. That didn’t mean you hadn’t been prepared to force him to suffer for the sake of your freedom.  If the consequences of you leaving forced Kaveh to realize his own hypocrisy at the hands of Alhaitham, then it was a price you were willing to pay. That at least would be some justice for what had happened to you. Now, there would be none.  

“Right, because you’re the victim in this.” Kaveh managed to look a little wounded by that. “Do you think so little of your own ideals that you would cast them aside to imprison me?” The look he gave you was akin to being sucker punched. You could see the wheels spinning in his head. You watched the guilt work its way across his face as he finally took in your situation. “I- I didn’t want you to wake up in there.” Was that supposed to make you feel better? Were you supposed to thank him for his thoughtfulness despite the fact he willingly participated in your abduction? “Even with your betrayal, I advocated that you would be more comfortable out here.” Kaveh briefly gestured at the couch that sat along the wall closest to him. “We could always lock you in later, but I felt it would be better for you not to wake up behind bars. Alhaitham- he disagreed with me. He insisted that things had to remain as normal for us as possible. Nothing could look or feel amiss. I told him I would stay with you, but-” Kaveh shook his head. Obviously that suggestion hadn’t gone much further than that. “In the end, he’s right. We had to consider all that you had done, all you could do. You could hurt yourself, or something else could happen.” Like alert the matra and try to get away. “We both felt that this was better. Safer for everyone.” Safer. You wanted to laugh. You wanted to scream. Safer for who exactly? Them? You? “I know you’re upset.” He tried to sound gentle about it. Despite screaming at you only a few minutes prior, Kaveh was trying his best to be the good cop to Alhaitham’s bad cop. He was trying so desperately to add a silver lining to an abysmal situation. You wouldn’t accept it though. No amount of honeyed words would ever fool you again. “If you listen to him then it won’t be for long. He told me he might even let you out for a while later.” Fresh tears stung your eyes as you gripped the bars with all you had. “You’d like that right? To be out, to walk around? You were under for so long. I’m sure it would feel great just to stretch your legs. Oh! Just think, we could all have meals together, just like we used too.” Like some bastardized version of a family. Despite being famished, you nearly wretched at the thought. “Wouldn’t that be grand?” Kaveh offered you a genuine smile in an effort to disguise the fact that what he had just said was completely revolting. We could all have meals together, just like we used too. As if you hadn’t been forced to eat with them the first time. As if anything would ever be like it used too ever again. How could this meal or any others make up for the fact that your life had been stolen from you? Years of work, years of training, years of studying all made useless by the cold bars that held you in place. You had been reduced to no better than their pet. Something they were preparing to mold and train into a mindless thing. “Why don’t I make you some Pani Puri? You like that don’t you? I think we-” God you couldn’t stand him anymore. You couldn’t stand his incessant need to ignore the obvious. You hated him. You hated Alhaitham. You would rather be left to rot in the prison they had built for you before you would tolerate being in their presence for one more second. “Leave.” It took him a second to process what you said. Initially you thought he hadn’t heard you or that you had only said it in your mind based on the confusion that was written across his face. His expression changed a moment later, resembling that of a kicked puppy. “Darling, I -” He took a step towards you. 

“I said-” You turned away from him, not wanting to see his face again. “Leave.” You tried to add some force to that, but it didn’t really work. The word came out as some weak, warbling thing that was barely discernible. Still though, he understood. You heard him take a breath, as if to say one last thing to you, but he refrained. Needless platitudes of encouragement or pleas for you to reconsider wouldn’t do him any good. You had already refused to hear them. Instead, the only sound you wanted to hear was the gentle clanking of Kaveh’s outfit as he slowly moved away. After what you guessed were a few minutes, he granted you that. Leaving you to the fate that Alhaitham had decided for you.

[lunarw0rks]

Hi!!! Can you please do 141+ Alejandro with a black widow s/o who’s a super bamf 💗

All Bark, All Bite | 141 (+Ale)

Warning(s): canon-typical violence, strong language, established relationship, fem!reader, mil!reader, no use of y/n

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: I combined this w/ a similar request. they requested that reader is part of an all-female squad called "The Widows" so creds to that anon for a partial part in this request! Not proofread.

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ 141 MASTERLIST // have a request? 𓆩♡𓆪 ask box

SYNOPSIS; if there were a side-by-side of you at work vs. at ease; the difference would be striking. You were with the best of the best, hand-picked to join The Widows five years ago, based solely on your battle smarts and physical durability.

You've retained dialects and languages after spending years doing covert ops around the world, as well as an array of fighting skills. The most significant thing you've accumulated? Your partner.

Dating in the same line of work, paths were bound to cross. Yet, seeing each other was both a blessing and a curse.

Price

When you limped up to the porch, the sight of the lights illuminating the inside made you both cringe and cheer at once. Time was precious when you both were home at the same time; though you were dreading the questions surrounding your appearance. You didn’t have time to wash off and instead went straight home after filling out your after-action reports.

John was in the sunroom with only a dim lamp on—forgetting once again to shut off the rest of the house lights. You weren’t in any mood to scold him, though, nor did you want to. In the least arrogant way possible; you were jaded from keeping the world safe. His gaze ascended from the paperwork resting on his lap, then scanning your striking appearance; in uniform and stained with crimson.

❝It’s not my blood, John.❞ You sighed, a look of both defeat and nonchalance—it was a conversation you two had many times before. This time, it really wasn’t your blood, except for a few measly scrapes and scratches.

He blinked a few times, as stunned as he was the first time he saw you after a daunting mission. ❝Is that supposed to make me feel better, sweetheart? Go shower off.❞ You couldn’t be aggrieved, it’s precisely what you would’ve told him to do. Besides, the last exchange you wanted to have right now was one about work.

John and you did that enough, probably to a fault—being that the two amplest workaholics found each other.

Simon

The work was daunting, sometimes downright depressing considering the things you’ve witnessed, and lived through firsthand. It wasn’t easy to get back out there, put on your bravest face, and work with skilled swiftness. Though your other half had conquered the art of appearing half-hearted—his mind was constantly buzzing with feelings, especially after getting involved with you.

Simon hated your guts, purely for making him fall in love with you. His co-workers either die in front of him, die apart from him, or go missing so long they might as well be dead. He couldn’t handle it, the prospect of getting a sit-rep declaring you had been KIA.

❝What’s on your mind?❞ The weight on the thin barrack mattress shifts as he sits beside you, eyes trained on your failed attempt at masking your gnawing thoughts. God, his observance was irritating at times—how you couldn’t conceal the slightest hitch in your persona.

In truth, it wasn’t any specific memory that was chipping at your psyche. It was… everything all at once. The constant reminder that you had to be a soldier—hardened, snappy, and with little emotion plaguing your every tactical decision. And your decisions? The pressure of choosing the option with the least amount of casualties—never was it a zero.

Unbeknownst to you, you were silently preaching to the choir. ❝It doesn’t matter. Can’t sit here and let feelings stop my day.❞

Simon reached across the cot, cupping each side of your face with a headstrong glare—one somehow sterner than his default frown. ❝With you, love, feelings do matter.❞ He shook you ever so slightly as if he was literally jerking some sense into you. Normally, he would agree and order the softie to keep going.

But you weren’t weak-kneed, nor did you let emotions affect your work.

You were the strongest soldier he knew, second to no one, not even himself. Your ability to feel so openly off the field was something Simon could only voicelessly yearn for. Something he didn’t want you to renounce, as he had years ago. What kind of relationship would it be, if you were both stoic robots trained to kill? It wouldn’t be one at all.

Soap

The two of you separate was enough to make any superior cringe, but together? It had them white-knuckling, all while assured that you two could get the job done clean. He was called Soap for a reason, and you—well, your squad had been picked for a reason. No one was privy to your relationship, and that’s how you both wanted to keep it, purely to not let a conflict of interest affect future ops.

Johnny had to bite the bullet and fight the urge to show you off, gush about you, telling very long and detail-heavy tales about how you two met, and how it was a rocky start. He was starstruck by your skills, and you were adamant about remaining tactical, nothing more.

Clearly, the stubbornness had budged, given the rule-bending involvement you two were in. ❝Ye sure you can handle the boom, lass?❞ Soap smirked, finger hovering over the button of the detonator. He was grasping at straws to rile you up because he knew you were both forced to work with him—and would come home to him that night.

For him, it was a win. For you? It was a persistent thorn in your side.

❝Press the damn button before I hurt you, Soldier.❞ You hissed, covering your ears to shield them from the explosion… or his pestering, it could be a mix of both. Soap grimaced as he signaled the boom, a deafening rumble in the distance, loud and close enough to make the building shake.

Once it passed, you scowled at the sight of his faux-dramatics. ❝It’s ‘soldier’ now, eh? Why not just shoot me, it would hurt less.❞ Soap retorted, taking one more glance at the ash falling in the distance—the result of his own pyro-artfulness.

Oh, how badly you wanted to tussle with him, then apologize to him with a kiss simultaneously. And he knew it too. Your toughness was an attractive quality, one that aroused him, even when you pressed a blade against his throat the first time you were stationed together.

Gaz

Your work with the 141 had gone off and on for some time now. You were glad to interact with Kyle but dreaded every mission together on the off-chance that something went horribly wrong. But that was the cost of your line of work—a sentiment you reminded yourself of nearly every day. The only thing you could do was do your job and find limited time to cherish with him.

It was your lucky day; you had time to visit.

Though you had told Price it was to visit with all of them, you only wanted to see Gaz. The others were great company, sure, but out of the field? They could be… both a complete mess, while being the most tightly-wound group you had worked with.

You made brief conversation with each member, a polite nod or greeting until the small talk became agonizing to get through. When you reached the end of the line, finding Kyle, your expression of professionalism became one of relief. After months of only communicating through comms or phone calls—you were finally face-to-face.

❝Shit, I should get going. Duty calls.❞ Your gaze diverted from Kyle to your phone, a precisely-timed interrupt you needed to tend to right that second. He understood entirely, and it only gave him an excuse to snake you into his bunk that night.

Without realizing it, you intertwined fingers with him for a few seconds, whispering a romantic farewell before parting ways with him. One of his entire Task Force witnessed with a slightly dumbfounded expression on their faces. You, high in the Widows’ chain of command, gone soft and holding hands with Gaz. Frankly, they were slightly intimidated by your skill, the way you always presented yourself in action.

To be flirting with Gaz, it was uncanny. And the headstrong Sergeant Garrick now plagued with an unavoidable flush? The snarky jokes wrote themselves.

Kyle’s eyes widened slightly as you walked away, a slow turn towards his co-workers, interrupting the inevitable comment slipping through their lips. ❝Not a word.❞

Alejandro

Your comms’ static was a constant reminder of the inevitable crisis arriving. Until an update finally came through after several minutes of pausing. Your allies were in need of sniper recon; not just any ally, either—Colonel Vargas was in need of sniper recon. Though you always made your best effort to remain tactical and move with purpose, this one was your purpose—the reason you fight to come home during each deployment.

You radioed back, signaling for the neighboring Widows to follow in your path. If something were to go wrong, Alejandro wouldn’t be left empty-handed, he would have your remaining soldiers to assist. Your squad moved swiftly, some sporting pistols, while the other half had their precision rifles at the ready. The rifle in your hands typically held little weight in your trained arms, but right now it only seemed to be restricting your snappy advancement towards the compound.

Perhaps it was the figurative weight of not getting there in time to relieve them. There was no time to interject personal affairs, however. It wasn’t just Alejandro that needed your assistance—it was his men, the allied soldiers, and most importantly, the innocents caught in the mix of this active warzone.

Your soldiers began to clean the house, allowing execute authority to eliminate any hostile forces. An order that was both the toughest yet quickest one you ever had made, given the circumstances you were plunged into. Behind the thick metal door, there was a blend of bellows in both English and Spanish—the Vaqueros deep in cover when you seized access.

By the time you got close enough, few enemies were left, thankfully. As you poked out of cover from your overwatch position on the skywalk, ready to make your presence known to them, an enemy had come into view.

One that is about to get the upper hand on Alejandro. It was moments like these where your heart stopped, as cliche as it sounded. All the years of training, fighting, hardship, death—it all needed to matter right now, or nothing would again.

You aimed down your sights, watching as the man you loved struggled against the hold. Your watchful eye observed the scuffle until Alejandro had moved out of the danger zone enough for you to get a disabling shot. Once you knew the bullet would be tactical and on the book, there wasn’t an ounce of hesitation.

The trigger was squeezed, a suppressed pop of the high-caliber bullet, then the limp splat of the man grappling Alejandro. His gaze skipped around the room, an instinctive point in the direction of the shot. You stored the precision rifle, jogging down the steps that led to the catwalk, until you approached the life you had just saved.

He let out an impressed chuckle at the sight of you, his savior. ❝Why am I not surprised, Cariño?❞ His eyes danced from you to the enemy that had him staring death in the face. Though he masked it with humor, his verbal gratitude would never make the cut. In the field and in his heart, you had yet to let him down.

[otissbluebearshirt]

Prosecutorial Misconduct 18+

Chapter 10 - Targeted Misfortune

Word Count: 7048

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Unlike the rest of the DA’s office, Rafael was still sitting behind his desk as the sky grew dark and the streets fell empty. He knew he should really close up shop and head home before it got any later — or rather before he ended up pulling yet another all nighter. But with the piles of paperwork that were stacking higher and higher on his desk as the days passed by, he didn’t think that would be an entirely wise idea for him to fulfil. 

Now of course, it would absolutely be a wise idea for him to call it a night, as he knew well that he should really start prioritising his own health and wellbeing over the blatant stresses of his job. The amount of times he’d found himself running solely on coffee was more than he could count on both hands, and if he ever wanted to live to see the second half of his life then he should really start taking better care of himself.

And don’t get him wrong, he would. One day, in the near distant future, he’d finally learn to put himself first and stop living off of coffee and take-out, however tonight… as he sat there fiddling mindlessly with his pen, he just couldn’t shake the feeling that his office was where he was meant to be. He knew it sounded corny, like something pulled straight out of a cheesy hallmark Christmas movie, but it was true. 

Each time he had tried to stand up and make the move to go home, there was a voice, from deep inside his heart — not his mind — that not so politely yelled out at him to stop, and each time it did he couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than listen to it. He wasn’t sure why he felt that way, or even how that lingering thought had entered his mind in the first place. All he truly knew was that until that feeling ceased entirely , throughout every fibre of his being, then he could not, under any circumstances, leave the warm sanctity of his office. 

Rafael didn’t care if that meant he was there all night. He didn’t care if he eventually found himself rolling exhaustively into the next morning — again — so long as his subconscious kept telling him to stay, then he would stay. He would much rather grow to regret not going home, than have to live with the regret of missing out on…whatever the reason may be for his desperate need to remain in his office, so until he truly felt like it was time, he wouldn’t be leaving his desk for anything. 

“Did anyone ever tell you that you work too much?” 

The split second that utterly delectable sound drifted blessedly through the air towards him, Rafael knew all too well of the reasoning behind his sudden desire to stay at work. 

It made sense. There wasn’t a single thing on the planet that had such a tight, intense, soul-bounding grasp on him as Melanie did, so it was no surprise to find out that she was the sole cause for the bellowing voice inside him — as though it somehow knew this whole time that this is where she’d end up. He glanced up from his desk immediately, his stomach already fluttering over simply hearing Melanie’s voice that when he finally saw her after a long week of catching mere glimpses of her here and there, it all but grew wings and threatened to fly away. 

Melanie hadn’t moved an inch since she appeared. She was still hovering almost hesitantly in his doorway, her arm pressed up against the frame and a small brown bag hanging loose by her side. She smiled sweetly the second Rafael’s tired eyes locked onto her own equally drained gaze, and the simple way in which it melted his heart made every minute of his night spent within the four walls of his office completely and utterly worth it — as had he listened to his mind over his heart and left when he should have… he’d have missed out on seeing her entirely.

And that was definitely something he’d spend the rest of the week wallowing in regret over. 

“I, uh, I brought dinner…” Melanie raised the bag, showcasing the familiar logo of the local Chinese restaurant nearby. She then shrugged, adding quickly as she lowered it again, “If you’re hungry.” 

“Starving,” Rafael lied, as with the pure hope that unintentionally soaked her tone, he didn’t have the heart to tell her he’d already eaten. And sure, it had been a rather small burrito from the cart outside that he’d gotten about four hours ago but still, he wasn’t overly hungry. Nevertheless, he stood up, tossing the pen he was holding yet hadn’t used in ages back onto his desktop before slowly rounding it towards her. “How’d you know I’d still be here?” 

“Lucky guess,” Melanie said, delving further into the office Rafael might as well live in as he gestured briefly to the couch. She made her way towards it, shuffling along the gap between the coffee table and slumping down onto the familiar comfort of the soft leather seat.

As she set the bag on the table and began to empty it, Melanie could easily feel the cushion beside her sink as Rafael happily joined her after grabbing a bottle of scotch and some glasses — once again sitting much closer to her than what was appropriately necessary for the situation. She didn’t say anything about it, though, and neither did he. 

In all honesty, no matter how frequently they both picked up on that little detail, or locked eyes during the moments in which it would happen, neither of them ever muttered a single word about it, as they didn’t want it to stop. They didn’t want it to change, but most importantly they didn’t ever want to miss out on experiencing the fierce, heartwarmingly intense chill that would ripple up their spine and spread out across every inch of their skin in a wave of goosebumps, any time they so much as brushed fingers. 

And whilst they happened, the two of them remained in a comfortable silence as Rafael poured them each a glass of scotch whilst Melanie continued to empty the bag, which was starting to appear as though it were bigger on the inside with just how much seemed to reside within it. 

Carton after carton she pulled out from between the paper sides, each one filled to the brim with the delicious cause of the warm aroma surrounding them. There was sweet and spicy chicken, steaming noodles mixed with crunchy vegetables, the crispiest spring rolls you could possibly imagine, not to mention the most mouth-watering fried rice either of them would ever taste. 

Most of the time when Melanie ordered from that particular restaurant — which was way more often than she liked to admit and she would notbe confessing aloud that she was on a first name basis with the owner, the chefs and the delivery driver — she could never decide on which items to choose from. The entire menu was all too mouth-wateringly good to pick just one thing and it usually resulted in her ordering way too much for one person, hence her last minute decision to drop by and make sure Rafael had eaten something other than pain relief and coffee. 

“I think I ordered too much,” Melanie murmured, scratching briefly at the back of her head as she grazed her eyes along the seven cartons of food that covered the coffee table. “It seemed like less when I asked for it.” 

Rafael chucked, “It always does.” 

Not that he was the least bit surprised, however, as last time she’d brought him dinner she’d arrived with two large pizzas, what felt like an entire loaf of garlic bread, twenty mozzarella sticks and a full box of chocolate brownies. 

With an excited smile, Melanie then held out the last, and only box not overflowing with food, towards him, “Here. You can pick out your fortune cookie first.” 

Knowing that it was useless to say no, as Melanie loved fortune cookies and likely wouldn’t rest until he’d opened one, Rafael silently agreed and peered over the edge of the box in front of him. There were only two cookies sitting inside it, one a little bigger than normal and the other slighter smaller. He went for the latter, plucking the small crispy shell from the bottom of the box and gently crushing it between his fingers until the small slip of paper revealed itself. 

Melanie dropped the box down to rest on her leg, watching intently as Rafael brushed a few lingering crumbs onto a napkin before unfolding the fortune and slowly drawing his eyes across it. The farther along the words he got, the more his face seemed to fall into a deep shade of disappointment. He never usually cared about what they said as, to him, it was just a silly piece of paper, but the longer he stared at it…Re-reading each word over and over in hopes that they would start shuffling into something else, the closer to home the fortune kept hitting. 

“What does it say?” Melanie asked, picking at the skin of her lips a touch as it was taking Rafael a while to read a single sentence and she almost feared what was written on it. “Rafael?” 

With a gentle sigh, Rafael hesitantly turned the slip around to showcase it fully, watching with a small ball of anxiety building and swirling in his stomach as Melanie’s eyes finally fell from his and to the paper. She took her time. Her brow slightly pinched as she read each and every word carefully, which did not do anything to ease Rafael’s worries as he knew she always liked to believe her fortunes. And the ones of those who she’d forced to open them, but here’s hoping that this time she simply chose to brush this one off as nothing more than a silly metaphor. 

“Don’t hold onto your hope if it requires a tight grip.” 

As Melanie unfortunately read the words aloud, an unintentional empty chuckle leaving her lips as she did, Rafael was quick to let go of it. And Melanie was glad for it. The second her own voice reached her ears she knew she shouldn’t have read it aloud so as to not speak it into existence, but before she’d fully realised what she’d done, it was too late. She could already feel her chest tighten a little as the silence grew thick between them, her eyes falling down to paper as it floated aimlessly through the air and back to the bottom of the box. 

“It’s just a silly fortune,” Melanie mumbled, despite both her own beliefs and how hard the phrase seemed to hit her. “It doesn’t mean anything.” 

Doesn’t it? She couldn’t stop herself from thinking. It was a damn near perfect metaphor for the hope she knew Rafael carried so heavy in his chest when it came to the two of them, and she almost regretted opening that box. Or rather, she almost regretted ever coming here in the first place as things weren’t playing out how she’d hoped they would. She originally came here in search of that familiar, favourite comfort that she always found in Rafael. The usual respite he often offered her from particularly tough cases, not to end up spiralling over what may or may not ever happen in their weird little relationship. 

“What does yours say?” Rafael asked quietly, yet he deeply feared what might lay beyond the crispy shell of Melanie’s cookie. 

Reluctantly, and with a slightly shaky sigh, Melanie reached her fingers into the box and crushed the cookie so hard beneath them that the crunch echoed within the box’s walls and up into the air. She could feel the softness from the slip of paper between her fingertips, practically calling out to be read and cast into the world for good, but she wasn’t sure whether or not she was ready for another one — especially not one that might relate to the current affairs of her own life. She was so used to getting nice ones like ‘ You’ll find greatness where you least expect it’ or maybe even the silly ones the restaurant would sometimes add like ‘ You are about to become $8.95 poorer ($6.95 if you had the buffet)’ but never ones so deep and meaningful as Rafael’s. 

Nevertheless, she knew she couldn’t move on until she read it and so, with her chest tightening with each shallow breath she sucked in, she opened the paper and read it aloud, “You may soon find that an exciting career change lies ahead of you.” 

Oh… That wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. Farfetched, as it was, but still…It was a hell of a lot nicer than the other. 

“I should have picked that one,” Rafael commented, his tone as humorous as he could bring himself to make it as Melanie dropped the fortune into the box and dusted off her fingertips. 

“Oh yeah,” She raised her eyebrow, glancing towards him as she set the box back into the empty bag. “You thinking about switching careers on us, counsellor?” 

“As if you’d ever let me go if I did,” Rafael replied, and Melanie couldn’t help but tilt her head in agreement. She said nothing though. Her stomach was too tied up in that phrase and its underlying meaning, so instead she simply lifted a pair of chopsticks from beside the bag and handed them to him, his tone then turning playful, “Let me guess, you got yourself a fork?” 

“You guys need to stop bullying me and my inability to use chopsticks,” Melanie said bluntly, yet her lips did curl a little as she lifted, and showcased, the plastic fork she had indeed taken for herself. “It’s not my fault I can’t figure it out.” 

“That truly baffles me,” Rafael exhaled, unfolding the lid of what he guessed was the spicy chicken given the way his nose started to tingle. “You can sit and flawlessly flip a knife between your fingers for hours without fail, and yet you still can’t use chopsticks?” 

“Can’t stab someone with chopsticks, Rafael.” 

“ You could.” 

“True,” Melanie answered immediately, making Rafael chuckle quietly as she stuck her fork deep into the container noodles, twirling them mindlessly around the prongs. “But then again, they’d probably only end up with a nasty bruise so I think for now I’ll stick with my knives and forks.” 

“Fair,” Rafael agreed, his eyes then quickly narrowing as he kept them peeled, almost worriedly, on Melanie. 

Despite her usual banter poking out its head, something about her seemed…off, almost, as she sat before him, still twirling her fork as though trying to get every single noodle in the carton onto it at once. She never usually took this long to start eating when given the chance too. Hell, last time she’d brought him food she had eaten a slice of pizza in the stairwell on the way up to his office, so it was a little strange to see her like this now — staring absently into the distance as a thick glaze seemed to cast over her eyes. 

Rafael couldn’t help but wonder if she was thinking about the words that lay at the bottom of the fortune cookie box. He’d seen the way her eye had twitched as she read it aloud, as though she were outwardly cringing at just how much it seemed to relate to the two of them and their current situation. Honestly, he still couldn’t believe that. Out of all the variations of fortunes out there, he just had to go and get one that hit closer to home than a professional baseball player. 

After all, it had only been the other week, before he’d gone and spoken to Mike and gotten that little boost of encouragement, that Rafael had thought about letting go of the hope he carried so deep in his heart for her. He knew Melanie was…difficult, as much as it pained him to say. He knew she was tough and, as the fortune cookie so bluntly put it, a grasp he’d have to hold tightly onto, but he really thought they were getting somewhere. He really thought that he’d been slowly chipping away at her own hard outer shell, but after reading that phrase…after seeing the guilt flash over Melanie’s face as she, herself, read it too, he couldn’t help but wonder if that little cookie didn’t go and make a rather excellent point. 

“Melanie,” Rafael said softly, setting his carton of chicken aside as he never once drew his gaze away from Melanie, who was still playing with her food. She hummed in acknowledgment, lifting her attention to meet his as he shuffled in his seat a little, resting his arm along the back of the couch, “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Melanie replied, her voice a mere crack of whisper. She then smiled, trying her hardest to assure him that she was — even though she really wasn’t, which was clearly evident by the way her lips barely rose more than a few millimetres. “I’m okay.”

Rafael narrowed his eyes doubtfully, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible liar?” 

Melanie scoffed in offence, “I think you’ll find that I am an excellent liar, thank you very much… I perjure myself all the time.” 

“Please don’t tell me that.” 

Rolling her eyes as he all but scolded her, Melanie dropped them back down to her food and let go of her fork, “I don't know why I bought all this… I’m not even hungry.” 

“You will be,” Rafael said, taking the container from within her pale hands and setting it aside for later. He then shuffled closer to her, brushing the soft curls of her hair over her shoulder before placing his hand gently atop it. “Talk to me, mijo . What’s going on with you?” 

“It’s this case,” Melanie confessed quietly, and Rafael couldn’t help but feel a spark of relief wash over him entirely. 

At least it wasn’t the fortune cookie .

“You mean the Lily Evans case?” He questioned, and Melanie nodded, her eyes already beginning to shimmer with the first brew of her tears. He shifted his hold on her, grazing his hand comfortably down the length of her arm before it landed atop hers, to which she immediately laced her fingers with his. “I heard you found her body. I’m sorry, mi cariño.” 

And he didn’t mean that the whole team had found her body, he meant Melanie. She’d been the only one to notice Lily’s foot sticking out from within the blanket she’d been wrapped in, and it had been her very own, now partially shaking, hands that had been the ones to finally uncover the poor girl's lifeless face. 

“It’s just been a really long week,” Melanie exhaled, her breath trembling as she did. “None of us have slept much since the beginning.” 

“You do seem tired,” Rafael said, cupping one side of her face and ghosting his thumb along the underside of her eye. “Maybe you should be at home getting some rest, instead of here with me.” 

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep,” Melanie murmured, feeling the warmth of Rafael’s hand as it dropped to cup the side of her neck instead, his thumb circling softly, comfortingly , over her pulse. “Mikey, he’s…” A shaky sigh left her lips as she glanced up at the ceiling, taking a moment to force her tears to retreat back into her tear ducts before returning her attention towards Rafael. “He won’t talk to me about it, but I can tell he’s taking this case personally. He came over for dinner the other day and hasn’t left since… At night I hear him pacing and when he’s awake, I’m awake… Not that I get much sleep anyway, but when I can feel his guilt in the pit of my stomach, it makes it harder for me to get my usual few hours.” 

“His guilt?” Rafael questioned, “You can really feel what the other one feels?” 

He honestly thought their whole ‘twin telepathy’ thing was nothing more than a lifelong, well orchestrated joke. Maybe even simply a ploy to creep out the others, but as he looked at Melanie now… As he truly saw the added guilt that sat deep within her delicate features, he could tell there was a lot more than her own emotions weighing heavy on her shoulders. 

“To some extent,” Melanie replied, her fingers fiddling with a loose thread on her jeans. “I always thought it was more like sympathy pains… You know, from actually being together whenever something happened, but then this one time. Back when I was still on patrol, I got stabbed right through the hand by a guy dressed like Santa Claus…” 

“Wait, wait… You got stabbed ?” Rafael interrupted, the pit of his stomach sinking further than he thought possible.

With a quiet hum, that was almost pitied given his outward worry that made her chest tighten terribly, Melanie nodded, slipping her hand from within his and holding it out flat in front of him. She then took hold of the one he had on her neck and lowered it, gently drawing his forefinger along the faint scar that still resided on her palm. She didn’t care that he’d easily have been able to see the scar given its slight discolouration against her pale skin, in that moment she simply wanted to feel him.  

“It hurt like a bitch,” Melanie chuckled, her skin tingling as Rafael continued to graze his fingertip along the length of her palm on his own volition. “I was bleeding all over the guy's Santa beard as I cuffed him and then, no more than five minutes later, I got a text from Mikey. Now he’s in Chicago at the time, at some conference or whatever, and yet he still asked me what happened. Says he was pouring himself a coffee when all of a sudden he got a burning sensation in his hand and dropped the jug… That’s when I knew it was real.” 

“And with this case?” Rafael asked, drawing his hands back to his lap even though they itched to reach out and simply hold her. “Why is it that you both feel guilty?” 

“Mikey, he…” Melanie took a breath, holding it momentarily as she gathered herself before exhaling softly through her nose. “He didn’t think it was anything more than a run-away teen in the beginning. And don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like he was purposely trying to drop the case or anything, as I could see why he would think that. Lily was acting out. We found pot in her room… Condoms. She was even texting this older guy. I mean, it was a textbook case of a teenage runaway. But even then…”

“You still had your doubts,” Rafael finished for her, trying his best to hide the pity he couldn’t help but feel as Melanie nodded, her eyes closing for a brief second.

“I just wish I had listened to them…” She whispered, her voice cracking. “Maybe then…” 

“Don’t go there,” Rafael cut her off swiftly, scooting closer to her and fully closing the gap between them as he took her face in his hand. “I’m sure you did the best you could.”

“Yeah, that’s what Sonny said,” Melanie mumbled, and for one of the rare moments in his life Rafael found himself agreeing with Carisi. 

Not that he even really cared about that,  as in that small moment in which silence fell over them, Melanie leaned deeply into the comforting warmth of his hand. She even tilted her head a little, allowing her cheek to rub lightly over his palm and with each soft brush of her skin on his, his heart would clench terribly in his chest, easily overtaking each and every emotion he could have quite possibly been feeling in that moment.

Neither of them knew quite how long they stayed that way. Their words had fallen to a standstill and their eyes simply did the talking for them. All but confessing each and every word they both wished they could say out loud, yet could never find the courage to do so, as they gazed so affectionately at one another that Bigfoot could walk through the door and Melanie wouldn’t have batted an eye — which was saying something as she loved that Cryptid and had even spent time looking for him out in Oregon.  

It didn’t help, either, that every so often Rafael would pair his deep, blush-causing gaze with an equally soothing brush of his thumb over every small part of Melanie’s face that he could reach, allowing her those little moments of pure comfort that she so frequently craved. In all honesty, it very quickly grew overwhelmingly intense for Melanie. Her mind was already racing with about a thousand different thoughts on a million different topics, so she really didn’t want to pile anymore on top wondering whether or not Rafael was going to kiss her. 

And of course, she wanted him to… So, so badly did she finally want to kiss him. To feel the soft, tenderness of his lips on hers, but she knew she couldn’t. She still wasn’t ready to take that next step. Nor did she think she ever would be, honestly, as she still had that deep, lingering fear of both commitment and getting him so wound up in her reckless life that he’d likely never be able to unravel himself.

It didn’t matter that she could see in his eyes that he didn’t care about any of that. That all he truly wanted was her. And her alone, given the way his eyes kept flicking to her lips and he slowly, but surely, leaned in towards her. She simply couldn’t give in to her desire when she knew that both her mind, and her gut, weren’t fully in it. 

Therefore, she pulled away from him. Not abruptly, or like she was fleeing from his touch, but softly. Warmly. As though showing him that he’d made her comfortable enough that she’d regained her appetite, which honestly she had as she couldn’t miss the first hint of her stomach gurgling inside of her. She reached out towards the table as Rafael shuffled back, creating a little distance from the heat that built between them as she lifted her glass, taking a small — yet disgusting — sip of scotch to help steady her nerves.  

As the harsh burn trickled down her throat, and reminded her not to drink more than one glass should she succumb to another scotch-based hangover, Melanie set her glass aside and reached for one of the containers of food. She peered inside, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the crispy spring rolls that resided inside and caused her mouth to water furiously.

Lifting the largest one from the box she bit into it with a delectable crunch , the vast variety of flavours exploding on her tongue, “God, I always forget how good these are… Can you pass me the sauce?” 

Rafael hummed in agreement and reached over to his end of the table, taking care to lift the tub of sweet and sour sauce, as it was still hot, which he then passed happily over to Melanie. She mumbled a brief thanks around her second bite as she took it from him, popping off the lid and all but smothering the last part of the roll in that delicious orange sauce before utterly devouring it.

“Oh,” Melanie then piped up, covering her mouth that still had a little food in it as she turned her attention back towards Rafael. “I forgot to say…” She swallowed, dropping her hand and running her tongue along her teeth to get the last of the sauce that coated them. “We exhumed a body today… I have pictures, I’ll show you later… But it reminded me of this one time when I fell into an open grave… Have I ever told you that story?”  

“I can't say that you have,” Rafael replied, unable to help the soft laugh that followed suit as if there were ever a person who’d fall into an open grave, it would be Melanie. “But hold on a sec, did you say you took pictures whilst exhuming a body?” 

“Just of them lifting it out of the ground. They’re mainly for Rollins… she’s still on bed rest and would be pissed if we didn’t,” Melanie elaborated, digging into her pocket to find her phone as she set her spring rolls aside. She pulled it out, licking her fingertips briefly before scrolling to find the photos amongst the mass of ones she took of Carisi when he fell asleep at his desk. “See…” 

As she turned the phone screen towards him Rafael couldn’t help but glance curiously down at it, his head tilting in agreement. “That’s a coffin, alright.” 

“It’s actually a casket,” Melanie corrected, locking her phone and pocketing it again. “Coffins are wide at one end and slim at the other, whereas a casket is always rectangular.” 

“Why am I not surprised that you know this?” 

All Melanie did was shrug, a smugly proud smile tugging at her lips as Rafael simply chuckled to himself. He should have known she’d correct him on that. Her mind always was full of the most random, and sometimes incredibly morbid, facts and details about the weird and wacky world in which they lived. He’d come to learn that the very first day he met her, when she had rambled on and on, for a good ten minutes, about the variety of marks and bruises that different types of choking devices could leave on a person — mediaeval torture ones included. 

In all honesty, Rafael hadn’t even questioned it at the time given her job as a sex crimes detective, but the more she went on to describe bondage, role play and other kinds of sex games in great detail, the more he began to wonder exactly what Melanie got up to on her days off. He didn’t want to admit it, but he’d actually pictured quite a few different scenarios he might have found her in…some of which made him blush even now just thinking of them again. 

Turns out, though, she wasn’t living some sort of double life as a dominatrix like he might have expected her to be. Not at all. No, in reality she just spent the majority of her free time watching a lot of documentaries and listening to a lot of podcasts on all kinds of different topics. He’d never forget the time she broke a nearly unsolvable case simply because she knew where the last photo their victim had been in was taken. And all it took for her to do so was a small flower in the background — the New England Violet to be exact, which just so happened to only grow in one small, riverside ice meadow in the whole entire state. 

“I have to ask,” Rafael began, taking a small sip of scotch before lowering his glass to rest on his leg. “Where on earth do you find the room for all those facts you have in your head?”

Melanie let out a slightly delusional laugh, “Oh, if only I knew… It’s like a dumpster fire in there most days and you’re lucky I’m even able to sort through it when I need to.” 

At that, Rafael chose to say nothing more on the particular topic in question, as he knew bringing up the idea of Melanie taking her ADHD medication to perhaps put out that dumpster fire wouldn’t go down particularly well. Instead, he simply offered her a partial smile as she all but deemed that part of their conversation over — yet she’d seemingly forgotten to elaborate on the time she fell into an open grave and he made a mental note to ask her about that another day as he was rather curious as to how she managed it. 

From that point forward, the rest of the short time they had to spend together consisted of both Melanie and Rafael happily contributing to some lighthearted and fun conversation as they ate as much of the food as humanly possible — some of which Melanie purposely saved for her middle of the night snack she’d have later. 

They had started off talking about different things here and there. You know, just basic stuff like life in general and if they had any vacations planned and whatnot. Until at one point, don’t ask him how, Rafael had somehow got Melanie started on the topic of ancient sharks and the haunting possibility of there being some undiscovered, maybe even thought to be extinct, species still living in deep underwater caves and caverns.

To be brutally honest, Rafael had never once given a second thought to, or even cared much, for sharks. Or any kind of sea life for that matter, not until he met Melanie. Her deep love, and vast range of knowledge, for all things oceanic was utterly heartwarming and if he could, he’d happily listen to her talk about the ptychodus and whatever the hell a edestus was, for the remainder of his time on Earth. 

“Some people theorise that the Megalodon actually evolved to live in our time by shrinking,” Melanie carried on, taking a sip of the water Rafael had offered her as he could tell she hadn’t been enjoying the scotch. Perhaps he should invest in a bottle of tequila for her should they share any more nights like tonight. “You know, that it’s now just considered to be one of the larger great whites that are lurking in the ocean, but I don’t know if I believe that. I mean, yes I believe great whites might have actually come from the Meg, but I really do think all those big ones truly did die out. As unfortunate as that is for all of us shark nerds.” 

“I can’t say I agree with your use of the word unfortunate here,” Rafael said, his tone a little humorous as he began to close the Chinese food boxes and pass them over to Melanie, who then put them back into the bag. “The thought of a…” — his brow then pinched and he glanced over at her — “How big were they?” 

“They’re said to have reached around…” Melanie held her hand out flat and wobbled it from side to side, “sixty-seven feet. Give or take a few.” 

“Jesus,” Rafael mumbled, his eyes widening in horror. “Yeah, I definitely don’t agree with your use of unfortunate as even the thought of a sixty-seven foot shark makes me never want to look at the ocean again let alone swim in it.” 

“You know the likelihood of being attacked by a shark is a lot less than people think,” Melanie told him, setting the last of the boxes into the bag before turning herself to better face him properly. “You actually have more chance of being killed by a cow than you do a shark.” 

“Well then I’ll stay away from farms too,” Rafael added, catching the slight smile that rose on Melanie’s face as he mimicked her motions, where the very next thing he noticed was the small crumb sitting directly on the ridge of her lip. “You have a little something on your lip… Do you mind?” 

Without even pausing to see if she could get it herself, which she most definitely could, Rafael reached out his hand and waited with bated breath for Melanie to either shake her head or brush the crumb away by herself. He honestly expected it to be the latter, as she didn’t seem like the type of person to accept help like that from someone. But to his surprise she shook her head, allowing him to carry on his motion of extending his hand towards her face and lightly brushing the crumb away with his thumb.

It fell to the floor as he did, leaving her with nothing but perfection dancing across her face yet Rafael still made no urgent move to retract his hand away from her. Instead he let it linger, his fingertips brushing over the softness of her cheek as he began to feel the shuddering heat of Melanie’s faint breath as it slipped through her slightly parted lips, rippling over his skin like a gentle wave atop sand. He shuffled closer to her, her desire driven eyes having all but begged him to do so as he allowed his hand to fully splay across her cheek, his thumb dragging itself slowly down the supple warmth of her lips.  

“Rafael…”

Once again, the way his name rolled seamlessly off Melanie’s tongue in that sultry, raspy tone of hers made Rafael’s stomach flip so heavily inside him he could all but feel it in his throat. He’d seriously never get tired of hearing her say it like that. With such intense want… Such shameless desperation for him having seeped through her words that it only maximised his own burning desire to have her. He leaned forward, feeling as her hands finally rose from the partial softness of her jeans to the firmness of his fast moving chest, of which his heart was hammering so furiously beneath that he was near certain she could feel it.  

And she could. 

It was practically mimicking her own with the way it was ready to burst free and dance across the floor given the sudden lack of distance between them. Even with the many alarms blaring in her mind, Melanie couldn’t seem to stop herself from pulling him closer. Her fingers travelled along the slight hardness of his pecs and wrapped themselves tightly around his suspenders, drawing him even tighter against the quivering heat of her own body as it cried out in a desperate need to finally feel the weight of his on top of it. 

That might have happened, too, if it wasn’t for the arm of the couch stopping Melanie from being able to lie back and fully invite him into her. Given that, Rafael chose the next best thing he could think of and he shortened the distance between their faces, bringing his forehead to rest against Melanie’s and feeling the way she immediately tilted into him. Their noses brushed as she did, their breath mixing in the small pocket of air left between them and just as Rafael was about to close the gap fully and get to taste what he so frequently craved, Melanie whispered his name again.

Only this time, in a tone that completely contradicted that deep, piercing desire that clouded every sparkle in her eyes as she gazed at him, four more words followed suit. 

And each one crushed his heart in the process.

“I can’t do this.” Melanie pushed him gently away the second those dreaded words passed over lips and she stood up, closing her eyes as she did so as to not see the utter heartbreak that cascaded over his own. She folded her arms across her aching chest, her stomach now churning to the brink of extreme nausea. “I can’t… I’m sorry, but I have to go.” 

As she dropped one hand and lifted the bag from the table, Melanie was quick to round it and head for the door in her desperate need to escape before she suffocated. Or worse, threw her dinner up all over his carpet…her heart included. Only, before she could reach out and grasp the handle to freedom, Rafael’s fingers wrapped around her wrist and halted her place, her name slipping sadly from his lips and finally drawing her eyes back up to meet the pain that swam in his own. 

“ Mi amor…” 

“Don’t,” Melanie choked out, her heart crumbling in her chest as she easily pulled her wrist from the weak grasp of his hand. “Just… Don’t say anything.” 

Rafael’s eyes softened, “Melanie…” 

“Please, Rafael. I… I’m asking you not to make this harder than it already is,” Melanie whispered, her words as thick as the lump that rose in her throat over the confusion that warped Rafael’s hurt filled face. “For both our sakes, it’s better that this doesn’t happen.” 

Rafael’s gaze narrowed, “What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying…” Melanie said softly, reaching out to gently cup the side of his face despite how much it pained her to do so. But she couldn’t help it. She was about to potentially break his heart into a million little pieces, so the least she could do was give him one final touch of comfort before she did so, “That maybe it’s time for you to listen to your fortune cookie…And let me go.” 

And with that soul-crushing statement hitting him like a truck, Melanie was gone from in front of him before he could do so much as outwardly react let alone respond. Not that he even knew what to respond to something like that as he didn’t even know what to think, let alone what to say. 

All he could do at that moment was sink back down onto the couch, his hand landing absently on the warmth of the spot Melanie had just occupied. He didn’t know what was going on with her…Where that sudden dismissal towards his affections had come from as it seemed to him like she was just as madly in love with him as he was with her.

Or at least, that’s what he’d thought as right now…He wasn’t sure that had ever been the case at hand.

The only thing he was sure about right now was that he was rather confused… Deeply, deeply confused and honestly, as he sat there with nothing to do but ponder his life’s next move, Rafael couldn’t help but think that perhaps he should have listened to his head earlier instead of his heart…

As maybe then… he wouldn’t be left alone feeling like it was in pieces. 

<- Chapter 9 | Chapter 11 (coming soon) ->

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[nnnyxie]

donnie 💜🍇🔮👾☁️

Donnie, who is the first to intercept April’s call that fateful day.

Donnie, who doesn’t know how to feel when he’s made aware of the whole situation. He had answered April’s call with his usual flair, relaxed and amused at the fact that their best friend was still outside in the bitter New York autumn–winter weather; he slurped loudly on his steaming mug of coffee for emphasis. Because he’s a little bastard.

Donnie, who’s the first one out of his siblings to know.

Donnie, who sets his dumbstruck-ness aside in order to put forth what he does best: work and help. April sounded so distressed and that was enough. He could tell she was masking it, though, and that just augments the entire situation. He doesn’t bother saying much – seeing as Leo had been there to hear the main gist of the conversation. The twins move in perfect sync as they prep their individual stations: he’s set in one part of his lab while his robotic arms are in another, and by the end of it, the Med Bay is set up to his impeccable standards; his monitors are set separately with April’s tracker and a loaded screen ready for data collection on another.

He ends up doing a dramatic arm sweep when cleaning off one of his desks– a desk which was previously occupied by a load of junk that Leo had brought in earlier: snacks, a couple takeout containers, comics, a unicorn lovey, a half full pickle jar for some reason?

–and Leo can’t even be mad. He’s too preoccupied in his own mind.

But it’s a funny memory for them to look back on – solely for the way Donnie was so aggressive with it while focusing on something else entirely.

Donnie, who keeps a neutral standing once you and April arrive, but he’s just as worried as everyone else. When you both make eye contact– he feels it. The shiver at the center of his ninpo. The sense of familiarity is strange and overwhelming . . . he’s never met you before. So, what in the name of Ohm’s Law is this?

Donnie, who feels a fickle sense of kinship with you right from the beginning. He won't be the one to tell you that outright, tho. He was far more taciturn in his approach to you; compared to his blue banded brother, at least. He mirrored Leo's tactic of telling you what he was doing before or as he did it, and he moved with the hands of a kind-hearted scientist. Gentle, swift, and efficient. He may not have joined in on Leo's jokes or cute little comments to distract you – but he did give you a sympathetic expression in spite of himself.

Donnie, who runs a RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF BACKGROUND CHECKS ON YOU. I’M TALKING METRIC TON WORLDWIDE DATABASE SEARCHES. HE BYPASSED SEVERAL GOVERNMENTAL HEADQUARTERS, PROBABLY ALERTED THE PENTAGON ON ACCIDENT BUT HE’S NOT FOCUSED ON THAT RIGHT NOW–HE KNOWS WHERE YOU’RE FROM, WHO YOU COME FROM (??), HAS ACQUIRED A DIGITAL COPY OF YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE SOMEHOW?? (which, might I note, got completely destroyed in the Invasion and there are literally no known traces of it anywhere else–) His statistics are simply unmatched. Bro’s weird. And terrifyingly capable.

Donnie, who offers his own bedroom to you when Leo and he are finished dressing your wounds. He had spoken with Mikey about what would be the best things to feed you, and after the intrinsic nudge he sensed, left the kitchen to whatever aftermath of thinly controlled chaos his brothers would achieve this time. After all, it's not everyday you come into caring for a whole child.

Donnie, who had kept track of your vitals the entire time you were asleep, dropping everything to check on you when something went awry. He forced April to go with him (though it didn't take much convenience) but blessedly, you didn't rouse to full consciousness outside of twitching in your sleep. He left April to soothe you even further back to slumber, loitering nearby, stiff and simply watching.

Donnie, who isn't good at emotions. At all. Didn't really like them, either. They were something that was difficult for him to properly process through and were unpredictable. But he does swear then and there that, in spite of all things… you were important.

Donnie, who says as much while they all discuss what to do with you at the living center of the Lair. Despite his desperate masking of his very off-kilter emotions, he was an open book.

He grit his teeth, he worried his lip, he returned Leo's incredulous eyebrow ridge raise with a glare so cold you could've put it in a drink and called it refreshing… and found that in the grand scheme of things, he didn't care.

There were much more important things to worry about at the moment.

That's what he tells himself.

That's what he tells himself as he ignores the fact that he's the one who's most adamant on taking you in. That's what he tells himself as he and Leo share a knowing look again. That's what he tells himself as his gauntlet beeps to alert them all that you're fully awake now. And that's what he tells himself as he and April descend the halls to you. To you. You.

Donnie, who doesn't stay around for all the excitement once you agree to staying. He had turned away and immediately went to work at getting the whole process started – and he most certainly did not turn away so quickly so everyone couldn't see the palpable shift in his aura. He would never admit it, but he was excited. And that was scary. He hardly ever knew you! As far as he was concerned, you were just a random street child that his best friend who wore their heart on their sleeve took in. And yes, that's true in every sense of the word, but everything happens for a reason, no?

Donnie, who's excited for change.

Donnie, who's entirely terrified that he's excited. For change.

Donnie, who may be terrified of what he's feeling, and when he can't filter through these new feelings, shoves them deep down to work through later. Much, much later. For now, he puts on his Big Boy gloves and rocks it as the genius he is.

Donnie, a veritable professional in all things [Name]. Albeit the road to get where you guys are now was paved with . . . well. Oddities. In instances, he regarded you as another “project” or living statistic breach. As peculiar as it may sound, this process is what aids Donnie in becoming much closer to you in such a short amount of time.

He wouldn’t consider himself to like kids: they were sticky, loud, nosy, reckless and gross . . . but you? You were an exception. You always are.

Donnie, who doesn’t admit you become his favorite in a first-rate amount of time, but it’s blatantly obvious that you become his favorite in a first-rate amount of time.

When you get over the initial shyness and come out of your shell (HA.) a lot more, you find yourself wandering into Donnie a lot. Be it in his lab — ... where this whole thing started, really. The catalytic incident happened like this: you bypass the extensive security system without a cinch, he nearly unleashed all seven gates of tech-grade hell on you by reflex because you actually scared the Softshell out of him– but when he realized it was only you, he simmered down to a cold and sulky puddle, if only a little tense. Turning you away was on the tip of his tongue but . . . something, something, stopped him.

Long story short, you ended up staying. He set you down on a nearby beanbag after a very lecturing warning to not touch anything, and turned back to his work. It might’ve come off as annoyance, but he just didn’t want you to get hurt: physically and emotionally.

(He just sucks a–word at showcasing his emotions /aff◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ Y’all get there eventually, don’t worry.)

Then you prove your worth! You’re respectful, and though your eyes shine with childish curiosity, you don’t disobey Donnie’s words and stay put. Lookie, no touchie. And that’s probably what catches Donnie’s attention at first– very early on; he doesn’t outwardly show it, and Donnie is not one to be easily impressed, but you? You impressed him. Greatly.

Also, you’re willing to listen to him!! He rambles on and on and you sit there with a cute little expression on your face. You’re invested, despite what may be showing on the outside, and just when Donnie has it pegged as everything he’s saying isn’t registering to you, you ask him relative questions.

He’s pretty much hooked from then on out.

You get privileges that nobody else does! He sets up a little corner reserved just for you in his lab, stocks up on your favorite snacks and drinks, and he creates so. many. things for you! Gift giving is his prime love language after all.

He sees you as a ~fresh mind~ And when you initially don't decline his interests in the sciences, he is practically vibrating with excitement! Proceeds to stuff your hungry little brain chock full of everything he knows, and beyond that!

However, even if you don't have a STEM-dominant mind, it's okay! If you happen to doze off while he's well into another one of his infodump rambles, he doesn't get mad. If anything, he's kind of... endeared?

He might tease you a little, but it's all from a place of love.

Concerning academics, the help from Unca Don-Bon always ensures that you at most get a passing grade for all your science-centered subjects! Not to mention the science projects and fairs. Oh man.

Y'all either dominate the entire school every time, or you come within nano inches of getting expelled every time.

Oh also also— this man scoffs at modern-age technology, you can't tell me he doesn't. You ALSO can't tell me he didn't create his phone from scratch. Heck he might've created his entire family's phones from scratch. Bro has his own OS and — when you come of age to start holding onto your own electronics — everything you own is patented by Genius Built™. Of course.

Don't insult him (or do. just for the laughs) by utilizing said modern-age technology. Just don't. (Do it. His reactions are golden every time.) He can appreciate good technology where he sees it, but it's not often. That's why it's so funny.

The most he did once when you gawked over the PS5 was scoop you up into his arms and give a condescending look so low to the contraption, it had you cackling the entire way as he ranted about the highs and lows of technology.

But hey! All your electronics are one of a kind! You can't ever say that~ Any updates or features that you want, he makes it happen. He completely personalizes it to your tastes to make it as comfortable for you as possible.

Your acquaintances are mad jealous of your cool tech and you can only knifecatmeme.jpeg your way through like a boss. (Golden ref. 🙌🏼❤️)

Donnie, who all too gladly helps you with your homework! April has to stop him from literally doing all your work for you.

—y’all be getting into the dumbest situations fr 😭 Be it conversations or infiltrating multiple high–standing scientific research facilities or simply discussing the economic state of the world or literally what's better: flavorless juice or pineapple smoothies, y’all gone be the main ones. That’s all.

(He gets you something yummy afterwards tho! As a treat. Bonus points if you don’t snitch. He always takes responsibility. He throws in an extra head ruffle or two. But he always, always makes sure you don't get in trouble. He's got your back, you have his. Partners in crime, best way to describe y'all.)

“If Little Jimmy has 12 apples and he gives 5.7 of those apples to his friend Becky, multiplies by the 7 to the nth power, then divides that all by the median of an octagon, how much horsepower was Little Jimmy’s dad conducting the neighbor’s car after 15.5 minutes exactly of installation?”

“. . .”

“. . . .”

“. . . . . Seven–”

“What in the fresh hell are they teaching you at that wretched, poor excuse of a school?”

(And Donnie loves school. That’s how you know it’s bad. Zeep, blatantly dissing the public education system? More likely than you would think!)

Cue April walking into the kitchen in her pajamas, all sleepy-eyed and confused, only to see her best friend and child reciting PEMDAS at the table. You start crying and Donnie sings the Pi Song with his best opera voice in support.

Donnie, who is very, very protective over you. He's the type to show, not tell, but believe me - once you're out of sight, he has a lot of colorful things to say to your offenders . . .

your foster mother being a prime example.

Needless to say, your foster mom is now completely ineligible to foster in the system any longer (as well as any and all forms of careers in all of New York. And the surrounding states. Probably the whole world.)

—and if anyone has anything to say about it, all he sees is the flashing image of a sweet little child, homeless and scared and alone, braving it out on the streets.

He'll never let anyone hurt you. His tech is always on standby when it comes to your safety.

And I mean, all his tech.

Donnie, kooky, scientific and calculating uncle Donnie –

. . . forthcoming, thoughtful, heart full of love Donnie, who may not be the best with his words, especially when expressing how much he loves you, but is one of the beloveds in your corner who says it the most.

“Haha! Aw, man. I love you, Purple Rain.”

“Mhmm. And I do suppose you’re enjoyable at most, my Young Apprentice!”

“Unca’ Don-Bon . . .”

“ . . . Ah, Sweet Galileo. I love you too, [Name], you already know I do.”

🫐‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪🪻 ִֶָ☾.

(we did it boys *passes out on your lap* Donnie Bonnie is doneeee!!! it was under high construction for quite a while, especially after Tumblr ate it, so this is a revamped version! but just as well, no? :'3 hope you enjoy this one, ceejie pie!! 🥰🤍)

ZEEPIE🫀

i’m still a little sick (& delirious) so i’m so sorry if my reply doesn’t make sense—

okay so— as much as i LOVE and ADORE uncle don….

what if…. NOW HEAR ME OUT OKAY?!

WHAT IF ………. it was dad don™️

dad don that ensures a proper education. he’s explaining the (poorly taught) subjects to you better than any teacher ever could. is he a bit aggressive about it? yes. but does he reward you afterwards? also yes!!

dad don who never expected to be seen as any sort of father figure.

it’s donnie who nearly cries when you accidentally call him dad one day.

dad don who raises you to be strong, smart, and independent. dad don who’s so proud of you when you get awarded for any subject.

and donnie— he never expected to adore a child as much as he does you. but— the moment you looked at him and his inventions with such passion and curiosity… he just knew that you would be the only exception (youuu are the onlyyy exceptionnnn). the only kid he’d ever care for.

but going back to uncle tello— he’s the kind of uncle to do illegal pranks with you— especially when it’s towards your school (again, illegal?).

uncle tello can’t even hear you say “love you, uncle” without wanting to burst into tears— not because it’s uncomfortable but— because, he’s so overwhelmed with joy.

uncle donatello that secretly goes to your school on the first day of kindergarten because, he’s so scared that something bad could happen to you. he doesn’t want a ‘purple dragons’ incident (you’re literally 5??).

uncle don and dad don are both so attached to you because, he’s been one of your main caretakers since you were just 3 years old.

donnie has watched you grow into such an amazing person and he can’t help but feel so happy that he was able to witness it all.

teehee (michael jackson style)

(i really hope this makes sense…. i am loopy from meds)

[specialagentlokitty]

Saul Silva x reader - always by your side

Can you write a story with a reader (student or teacher) who learns that Saul is pardoned during season 2 please? - @djino04 💜

Alfea hadn’t been the same since Saul was arrested, and even though you wanted to leave, the only reason you stayed was for Sky, but you threw your all into your training and your work.

Even when it came to the Alumni event, you refused to take part and attend though there was many questions for you to do so.

You didn’t want to take part, so you refused.

And there was nothing they could do about it, because Rosalind and Andreas both knew that if you didn’t want to do something, there was no amount of threats or pain that would make you do it.

So they left you to it, deciding it would be good to have at least one teacher out patrolling around the school.

And that’s where you had been all night, headphones on as you trained in the specialists training ground, honing your fire and lighting up the training ground in a series of red or Orange light.

Even as the night drew on, you didn’t stop, your mind was solely focused on one thing now, and that was getting stronger.

You didn’t trust Rosalind and Andreas one bit, and someone had to be willing to protect the students, so you were pushing yourself beyond the limits every day to increase your strength and endurance.

As the sun was coming up, you decided to take a break and you sat down on the grass, drinking some water from your bottle, you slid your headphones down your neck as you took a deep breath.

“Professor (L/N)?!”

You snapped your head up and furrowed your brows a little bit.

“Bloom, what’s wrong?”

She jogged over and handed you something and you looked at her smiling face.

“I was asked to give you that, Sky said I could find you out here.”

“Alright, is that everything?”

She nodded her head and you nodded as well, settling the envelope down on the grass, putting your bottle on it, you took a few moments to rest before standing up.

“I really think you read it Professor.”

You turned to bloom and rose a brow at her and she picked it up, holding it out to you again, stepping back as she clasped her hands behind her back.

“Bloom im training.”

“Please read it.”

Sighing heavily you opened it and held the envelope in your hands as you unfolded the paper, and you carefully read the first half.

“I don’t understand..” you mumbled.

You looked up and you realised she had walked away, but you found a familiar face walking across the training grounds towards you.

You were frozen in place, and you stared at the man who carried on walking over.

“No…”

Letting the paper fall from your hands, you slowly began to walk, then you began to jog into you were running towards him.

And when you were close enough you crashed into him, hugging him tightly as you both dropped to your knees.

Saul hugged you back tightly, pressing his forehead against your head as you buried your face into the crook of his neck.

“H..how…? What…?”

“I’ve been pardoned..” he whispered back.

You pulled away from him and you looked at him, tears falling from your eyes.

The face you missed staring at so much, the face of your best friend.

“Does that mean..?”

Saul smiled softly and he nodded his head, letting you hug him tightly once more.

“I can stay..”

“Jesus Christ Saul..”

He laughed a little bit, hugging you as tightly as he could without hurting you.

“Didn’t think you’d get rid of me that easily did you?”

You slapped his back and he chuckled again, resting his chin on your head.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, and he smiled to himself.

“Thank you for staying for him…”

“I promised you I’d look after him.”

Saul nodded a little bit, and he carried on hugging you.

Your tears soaked his shirt, but they weren’t tears of sadness this time, they were tears of happiness, tears of joy to have you best friend back by your side.

You had grown up with him, you had never been away from him, you two were always right next to one another, like a package deal.

So when he was arrested, it destroyed you, and filled you with a rage that could barely been contained.

And you were still angry.

But you were overjoyed with the fact he had been pardoned, with the fact he wasn’t an enemy of the realm anymore, and he wasn’t on the run.

You were happy beyond words to know that he was excused from it, and he could help you make things right at the school, and make the school safe once more.

Because you were best friends, and despite everything that had happened, you swore you’d always have each others backs.

So you needed him with you, so you could stand side by side and face the challenges that were to come because truth be told? You knew you couldn’t do it any longer by yourself.

And going by the way he was hugging you for dear life, something told you Saul couldn’t handle this on his own anymore either

[elvenbeard]

I was at Phantom Liberty Tour Cologne and this is how it went!

Img: A screen showing Johnny Silverhand with tickets to the Phantom Liberty Tour Cologne and the title "Phantom Liberty Tour - 25. August 2023 Köln"

The following is 100% an expression of my personal views! I experienced the Phantom Liberty Tour event in Cologne as overall extremely positive, I had been very hyped about it in the weeks and days before, and CDPR did not disappoint me in any way shape or form with what they put together! For transparency, I didn’t have to pay for anything beyond my own travel costs and accommodation, everything else was included solely in my application for the event being accepted.

This post is intended as a way to give a glimpse into the experience to everyone who couldn’t go or whose application wasn’t accepted -and I just wanted to share my thoughts xD It was a very small and exclusive event with very limited tickets, and I still feel super priviliged to have been able to go there. I’m aiming to share my experience with everyone reading this now and give you at least a little peek behind the scenes of it all!

We didn’t have to sign any NDAs or such, we only weren’t allowed to take pics/videos or make audio recordings of the showcased gameplay!

If you’re also going to one of the upcoming events in your respective countries, maybe wait reading this until you’ve been there to not ruin any potential surprises! And also, if you don’t wanna be spoilered about anything Phantom Liberty as such, meaning, the actual game and story, but still wanna know about what the event was like: I will put a warning onto sections that contain spoilers for the gameplay, so you can skip those!

How me and my sibling even got invited in the first place

I only learned about this event more or less on accident when my sibling sent me a screenshot of an Instagram post about it XD So, big props to them for giving us both this chance! XD That was back in May, the post said “tell us why we should invite you to the PL tour in Cologne” in its sign-up form. I did, and then waited patiently to maybe hear back from them. Originally, after sending my submission, I received a reply saying that “if you’re invited, we (CDPR organizer team) will get back to you until August 4th “. In my submission I wrote something along the lines of that I’m relatively new to the game and fandom, but it quickly evolved into my new favourite video game and unlocked so much creativity for me, so that I’m making my own mods for it now, create art, and write. My sibling was a fan of the first hour, preordered the Collector’s Edition for PS4 back then, and now we can both simultaneously get hyped for Phantom Liberty. It would be an amazing opportunity if we could also attend this event together!

When I hadn’t heard back by then I accepted that I hadn’t been selected, was a bit sad, but it was alright. But then, a few days later while I was at work, I got an email with the headline “Hey Choomba” and I was like wtf? So, turns out, due to the insane amount of submissions they pushed back the notification day about a week. Around 1,500 people sent applications that the organizers all looked at individually, and only around 250 guests plus team members and special guests were actually present that night. I didn’t know about the delay in response, because I’m not active on social media beyond Tumblr… lemme tell you though, that was such a nice surprise, and I was super happy and would’ve been none the wiser had I not been picked xD

Due to the shorter timeframe though it was now a little harder to find a hotel still, as the PL Tour took place during Gamescom week. So, half of Gaming Europe was already in Cologne for that convention and hotels were scarce. On the one hand, it obviously made sense they put the date this weekend, so the devs already in Cologne anyway could swing by with ease. On the other hand, if you were, like me, definitely not from Cologne or the general area, a little more prep time ahead would’ve been nice.

Still though, my sibling and I still found a somewhat reasonable hotel and drove to Cologne in the early morning hours of August 25th!

Img: The door to the venue with a bright red "Phantom Liberty Tour" banner above the entrance

(cont. below the cut, long post with many pics, beware!)

The Venue, the Queue, the Delay, the Tickets

The sole information we had in advance was an address, to bring our ID cards as they’d make sure we are on the guest list and are 18+ years old. The event would start at 6pm and last until 12am. It said that "cosplays are very much appreciated" so I went in casual cosplay as Vince, because why the hell not XD But that was it in terms of what we knew about what was going to happen.

At around 5.20 p.m. we were at the location given to us via E-Mail. Parking was eh, but alright, we found a space close by, and as we drove past the venue, they were just in process of setting up their flag and banner. So yay, we’re in the right place! :D

Img: The black CDPR flag above the entrance :3

I was so fucking hyped, I couldn’t last in the car a second longer, so we just joined the queue and waited despite the occasional rain shower. We got talking a little bit with the people around us, there were some fellow modders, everyone was wearing some kind of merch, there were lots of fantastic cosplayers, too! Miles Tost, CDPR level design, was there and briefly talked to us all waiting patiently. Then we were informed that sadly there would be a little bit of a delay. I think at around 6.30 or so the queue finally started moving and at around 7 my sibling and I were inside the venue :D The reason of the delay is and was unclear, we learned later though that the guy responsible for the organization had set up something like this for the first time iirc, and therefore I’ll happily forgive the slight delay. Overall, the night was fantastic and I sure as hell couldn’t have done it better!

After checking our IDs, the lovely people by the entrance handed us our numbered tickets! One of the staff then asked us if we’d already played Phantom Liberty at Gamescom, which we hadn’t, so we also received one of those yellow plastic throwaway bracelets. Those who had already played it got a red one. The reasoning here was that they only had a small play area upstairs, so not everyone would be getting a chance to play the demo of the game, and people who hadn’t seen it yet would be preferred, to keep things fair. During the night some people with yellow bracelets would then be randomly approached by a member of the team and invited upstairs with a “mystery ticket”. I sadly didn’t get to play the game myself, neither my sibling, but we still got to see the gameplay anyway :3 We’ll get to that in a minute.

Img: Mine and my sibling's tickets, front and backside respectively; the bottom text on the backside says "be careful not to damage this section as you may still need it over the course of the night!", both tickets feature prominent circuit board and barcode designs

CDPR also invited us to free drinks with little tokens, and there was a broad selection of non-alcoholic and alcoholic beverages at a small bar! I would’ve loved for there to be something like a Johnny Silverhand or Jackie Welles to order, but I guess it wasn’t the Afterlife after all. Still though, free drinks, even if generic, pretty cool :D

Activities within the Venue

While we were queuing outside still, we’d also heard about various activities that had been offered at the Warsaw station of the tour, and those were different from what we could do in Cologne!

After receiving our tickets and everything we were free to explore the location for a bit, as the actual show wouldn’t start until 8pm (originally 7 pm but well… delays :D).

There was the main floor with a big, convention center style setup with rows of chairs and some bar tables. There was the huge screen, the bar, and a really cool netrunner chair for taking pictures that the cosplayers rightfully loved :D On the left side were also a small Xbox play area where you could test out some Xbox game pass games XD The event had tons of sponsors contributing something cool.

Img: The main area of the venue right before the show begins, an industrial-style interior with bright red and white lights, and many people looking at a big screen at the wall featuring Johnny and a welcome text in German and English respectively

Next door was a little secluded area for a podcast to be recorded later during the night, as well as a booth where visitors could record video messages for the devs (I missed my chance here and that’s what I regret most about not doing during that night ;A; but I think/hope a lot of others present seized the opportunity to send some love to Poland for this amazing game and team <3).

Img: A small square room with four high-end gaming PC stations sponsored by NVIDIA; the screens are currently showing the main menu screen of Cyberpunk 2077 - can I just take one of these home with me please?

Then there was the upstairs area with the gaming corner, as well as another little recording studio set up by an independent German filmmaker team who were documenting the development of Phantom Liberty! We could’ve also contributed to that, if we had wished to, but I preferred to stay behind the camera this time around xD Looking forward to watching the documentary though once it’s out!

Img: a Netrunner chair replica surrounded by screens and gadgets

There was also an outdoors courtyard area serving as a chillout zone with food (vegetarian options available) and a really cool live medieval folk band playing songs from the Witcher OST :D The various walls on the inside were decorated with photos showcasing German cosplayers and works of fan artists, and those of them who were there that night were allowed to take their photos home as a little extra special keepsake!

Community Love

The community love was so, so real and despite being comparatively new to the game and fandom still I felt super at home and comfortable and welcome. Kind of like, “I’m in the right place”, if that makes sense XD

Speaking of community… while we were still outside in the queue my sibling pointed out to me that there was a Kerry cosplayer in the line behind us, and lemme tell you, I was fucking hyped and made it my mission to greet them over the course of the evening xD I’ve been to a few smaller, less gaming-focused cons this year and there were few Cyberpunk cosplayers, no Kerry so far, so this was my chance!

Turns out, the Kerry in question was none other than fantastic @ophani (you can follow her on Instagram as well and check out what she’s working on atm!) who had been one of the first Cyberpunk people I’d ever followed on tumblr after becoming more involved in the fandom xD So yeah, the fanboy moment was even more real once I’d realized that. Also, there with her, amongst others, was @korribancosplay (also on Instagram!! Go check out his fantastic work <3) who actually recognized me first for being there looking sorta like Vince. He recognized that specific V with that hair and tattoos from my art xD I was like whaaaah! Honestly, that was my highlight of the night hands down in regards to meeting fellow fans :D Again, big shoutout to you two for the lovely conversation and everything, we’ll definitely stay in touch, and I hope I can venture over to NRW again in the future to meet up! xD

Img: Left, ophani as Kerry Eurodyne in his 2023 appearance <3, right, korribancosplay as Goro Takemura - I wish I'd brought a proper camera, blurry phone pics that I tried to somehow save through editing ftw :D

There were a lot of other amazing cosplayers, accompanying the two mentioned, and others as well that I didn’t all get to talk to but yeah… it was amazing seeing them all regardless and the love everyone poured into their costumes! Really got me hyped about getting back into cosplaying as well!

Let the Show Begin

But then it was finally 8pm and everyone gathered in the main showcase area.

None other than male V’s German VA Björn Schalla opened the show with a little speech (“I guess I don’t have to say who’s speaking right now”). That already sealed the deal for me in terms of “okay yeah, CDPR not playing games (figuratively), this is gonna be an amazing night if literal fucking Voice-of-V is here as a special guest”.

Then the German community managers joined for a little introduction and walkthrough of the schedule, as well as all the devs and CDPR team members present for the night came on stage to kick off the event officially with a big selfie. Shame on me for not really knowing who exactly everyone was, I’m too new and not as well versed in the who-is-who yet, but there were some very big names that people got super excited about so o.o

Img: Left, Björn Schalla aka German voice of male V, giving a little introduction speech reading out loud some randomly picked names from the guest list; right, the CDPR team and devs at the venue on stage together

Pretty much immediately afterwards, Miles Tost came back on stage, and we got to experience about an hour of gameplay of Phantom Liberty! If you don’t want spoilers for the expansion, skip the next section until the “Spoilers end here” line! I will try not to take too much away, but I want to give an honest and thorough review of what I’ve seen!

SPOILERS START HERE

The Game Showcase – Public Demo

The way this worked was, Miles stood on the front stage and narrated through the gameplay shown on the big screen, while the German community manager (iirc) Ryan played the game following a predetermined route I assume. He very strictly showed specific features, locations, and took a few very specific dialogue choices, always omitting the blue optional ones and just going with one of the generic yellow ones. The V in the demo was a male corpo, and Ryan never chose any of the plentily available Corpo dialogue options (and I’m very thankful for that, so we as players get to explore those ourselves somewhere further down the line :3).

Miles mentioned that the build shown to us was around three months old, and the first half hour of the game we saw revolved around Songbird guiding V through Dogtown prior to Myers’ plane crashing. They showed some minor NPCs running shops, the new Ripperdoc interface, and so on and so forth. I liked the new Ripperdoc animation but would’ve loved it to be even more expansive than it was in that build XD It was more a “sits down, selects cyberware to buy, then sits back up again after a short black screen, wiggles briefly then ventures forth” moment. Not comparable to the first scene with Viktor, when V gets their optics installed in the main game, but it still adds a little immersion!

V was also wearing very funky purple tights (the same level of tightness as a netrunner suit, but textured sort of like crocodile leather? I have a mighty need for them), and very sporty white sneakers that I also didn’t recognize from the main game. Everyone in the room very much loved his extravagant fashion sense XDD

So far so good, V walks through Dogtown a bit more and has some fun banter with Songbird who is not there physically, but also not quite on the phone… Then the president crashes into Dogtown kind of how it was shown in one of the trailers, and V has to go and save her, obviously, fighting Kurt Hansens forces! Up until this point of getting to and saving Myers from the wreckage was part of the publicly available demo that could also be tested at Gamescom and that I think was also showcased in recent dev streams.

The Game Showcase – Extended Demo

BUT THEN we got to a screen that said “extended demo unlocked” and got to experience some more, so far unseen content!

There was a bit of a time skip, V now traveling with President Myers and trying to get her to safety. Then we quickly got to a scene I had been kind of anxious about: V having to take an oath to become a special agent working for the NUSA. Thankfully though: you didn’t actually have to take the oath as shown in the trailer, and I was relieved, because being forced to do that that would’ve ended the expansion for my V then and there XD You still get to work for Myers though, and then V actually ventured out to find Solomon Reed! :O

We got to see quite a bit more of Dogtown, which is much bigger than I had assumed o.o Like, big buildings, proper streets, etc. etc. - not massive, but also not small! It seemed to sort of seamlessly blend into Pacifica, maybe… But in the showcase we didn’t venture far enough to the limits of the area to really be able to tell how exactly it is integrated into the world. Also, no visuals on the new Badlands areas or anything beyond this little story mission, but I think for a showcase like this that would’ve been too much! Mr. Hands called about a gig though that he maybe shouldn’t have, interrupting Miles' speech a little XD I don’t recall the exact details, but it sounded like a "SOS: Merc needed" type gig. I’m super excited about that, too, there's tons to do in this area!

They also showed the new phone interface, as well as the completely reworked skill trees, which is something @darcidarlin asked me about!

For the phone interface I’m so so thankful! It was so much bigger and organized, much easier to handle and read.

About the skill trees I’m super torn in a way… they’re different and simpler now, but sometimes simpler isn’t necessarily better imo. I’m used to my current build and skills, I like the attributes, and I don’t really see yet how my old playstyle is gonna translate into this new version. Basically, what they did (or at least how it seemed to me) was replace the attributes with "Skills". There is a "Relic" skill, an "Edgerunner" skill, and so forth, at least I saw nothing labelled "Cool", "Strength", "Tech" in the way I'm used to, but the glimpse we got was too short and superficial to really get a good idea of the new menu layout and contents.

The combat they showcased looked very fun, but it was all very centered around hands-on fighting, guns, swords, heavy cyberware. They showed very little stealth and no hacking/tech, and me being a predominantly stealth/hacking/tech player I was a bit “meh” and beginning to wonder if I’ll still have fun with what’s to come in the same way I do now. They kinda quickly flicked through the skill trees and I almost had the impression they completely remodelled Tech into a Cyberware skillset now, with armor fully tied to cyberware as well… I really don’t know XD Right now I can do a tech-heavy build without getting chromed up to my teeth, and I’d like to keep it that way… But I’m not sure if it’ll still work out like this in 2.0. Not much info on Cyberpsychosis either, only that again, with Tech perks, you can increase your threshold in terms of how much chrome V can stuff into their body before suffering an "overload". My low-on-chrome but otherwise tech-loving V is crying a little bit about this change XD

But yeah, this build was 3 months old. And my impression of the skills way waaaay to brief, so it's likely I'm getting upset about nothing XD Specifically for getting a closer look at combat and skills I would’ve needed to test the game out myself, so take everything about this with a big grain of salt!

Next up Ryan made a savegame and they showed the reworked police system a bit. Calling his vehicle in the middle of Dogtown was hilariously difficult, as it kept glitching and crashing into some parked cars the AI just didn’t seem to recognize, always ending up lying on its roof xD Miles joked “Oh no, some glitches just persist no matter what we do… but I bet your car can’t do this!”

Once Ryan had finally managed to get into his car though he started shooting. When you commit crimes in Dogtown, the NCPD will actually not come after your ass, but instead Kurt Hansen’s Barghest, which is neat! They are similarly equipped and will put up a bit of a fight for sure. There is now basically a 5-star system like I know it from GTA, and as soon as you reach 5, MaxTac will show up and whoop your ass. And man, they did not mess around XD MaxTac is not unbeatable, V put up quite the fight and managed to take down a couple of them, but in the end he got overwhelmed and taken down xD It did take a considerable amount of effort and destruction and killing though to even get to five stars, so much so that both Miles and Ryan were getting a bit desperate about it taking so long. So yeah, you really kinda have to put some actual effort into even getting MaxTac’s attention was my impression, and I do like that a lot to keep it balanced!

After this little demonstration of the police system, V went on to find Solomon Reed and damn, the first encounter with him is so fucking cool… I will not spoiler it here, because yeah. Wait and see! I really loved it, Spy-Thriller vibes over 9000, they definitely hit the mark on that XD

There is also so so so so much lovely new banter with Johnny. He was very present throughout this second part of the demo and had a lot to say on his past as a soldier, which I was really hoping for!! So, I’m definitely looking forward to seeing how deep it’s gonna get and even more so how it’s gonna end o.o

So much though to the gameplay I saw and my impression on it! There are more details I can share on request, so hmu via DM or ask if you wanna know more! There definitely were a lot of little choices in dialogues, and there seem to be a lot of choices that you can mess up that then have consequences, too :o High risk, high reward vibes, fitting for the high stakes this story seems to have.

One other random sidenote: the music is insanely beautiful o.o There was a new sort of action-packed background track for finding President Myers in Dogtown. And at the end of the demo there was another new song playing that was sort of… “dreamy, but in a dreadful way” sounding? A female vocalist, no actual lyrics, electronic music with similar vibes to the “V” main menu song, but quieter and calmer and sadder. My sibling found it annoying after a while XD But I really enjoyed it, and I kind feel like it could’ve been Songbird’s theme!

I got a question by @cheapcheapfaker about updated character models and animations that kinda fit into this section of the post! So… sadly I cannot answer it for sure because we only got to see the expansion characters and never ventured out of Dogtown (and I didn’t get to play the game myself to test out if it would’ve been possible to go and meet somebody else). What I can say is, I personally didn’t notice much of an update of Johnny’s appearance or facial animations at all actually. I know others did in regard to the same build of the game I got to see. There was no opportunity to ask, and a lot of questions that went sort of deeper into the territory of technical or story stuff, Miles wasn’t allowed to answer at that point. I think they played the game on the highest graphics settings, too, with path tracing on, which was also was something I’m not used to seeing with my rig. Johnny looked somewhat different to me actually, but not in an improved or updated way, more in a higher/different settings way.

What was confirmed during the Q&A though that followed on a different topic later (I made a post about it here already), was that they did go back and fix some voice lines in the main game that turned out weird in the German dub. And I read somewhere else before that “no system was untouched” for making Update 2.0, so maybe the other characters also received some minor updates and final polish. But nothing concrete sadly that was said or came up during my experience of the evening!

SPOILERS END HERE

Meet and Greet with German V

After the showcase of the game was over and some people had received mystery tickets to test Phantom Liberty on their own time, the crowd dispersed across the venue for a variety of activities. I tried to get into the “leave a message to the devs” booth, but it was occupied quite permanently, so I went back and then sat and waited for the Q&A, because that was super-duper down my alley, and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it. In the podcast room next door some devs had come together to talk a bit more about the expansion as such, too, including Miles.

I had to gather all the fucking courage in my body, and I think being sorta sleep deprived and pumped full of adrenaline helped, but before the Q&A started, I went up to Björn to ask for an autograph and we very briefly talked. I got to tell him that I loved the way he played V so so much, lol XD I wasn’t very coherent, but he was very kind and funny, super chill guy!

Img: My ticket now signed "Für Elven, von 'V'" and Björn Schalla's autograph - need to get a fancy frame for it asap xD

I’m so glad that after the Q&A, of which you can find the detailed content in this separate post I made already, I went up again to get a pic done with him and Localization Director Mikolaj! :D So yes, this was definitely my personal highlight of the evening’s program, maybe even more so than seeing the new exclusive gameplay!

Img: Left, the Q&A with Björn and Mikolaj, right, Mikolaj and me and Björn XD

Raffle and Goodies

Towards the end of the night the live band that had been playing outside joined us in the main room (because, of course, the neighbors had complained about the noise… the peak Germany experience, the organizers got threatened with “we’re gonna call the cops if you continue playing music outside after 10 pm” x’D). But like this those of us who had been mostly inside watching the show at this point also got to experience the music a bit, which was very nice!

We were getting close to the end of the night already, and then people with goodie bags started walking in from all corners :O So I ventured forth once more to score one, but I think there definitely was enough for all, and at the end of this post I’m gonna show you what was inside :3

Img: Me holding my roughly letter-format sized Cyberpunk 2077 Phantom Liberty paper goodie bag :3

The last item on the agenda was called “Quiz and Raffle”, due to the delayed start of the night though they decided to skip the quiz, or rather, do a quick run of some of the questions they had prepared. It was all something like “What was the name of the character that X called to take over his shift?” or “What was the sign above the location V had to go to during X section of the gig?”, so nothing super hard. You just had to pay a little bit of attention during the game showcase. But yeah, the quiz was skipped and instead the raffle prizes were handed out a bit more freely and damn… there was a lot o.o Displate had gifted a super limited edition illuminated poster, as well as several of their tarot card metal posters. There were gaming keyboards, custom Cyberpunk themed PC cases, some leftovers from the Gear store, figurines, and so on and so forth. Some of the bigger prices were given out via random number generator, where our individual ticket numbers were important again, others were just handed out a bit more freely.

Ryan: “Damn, I have so many gaming mice left, what am I gonna do now…” Random Audience member: “Can I have one?” Ryan: “Sure! :D” *hands them a mouse*

Img: Ryan and Carolin of the German Community Management team at the end of the event with some closing words on stage

This part of the night was honestly just very lighthearted and funny, and I really felt entertained from start to finish XD There were no boring moments or situations where I was like “urgh, I wish we could just continue now” because even during the breaks I talked to people or was still recovering from a previous encounter or experience XD

The End of the Event

The event then ended pretty much on time a short while after midnight, some people had left a bit early to catch their trains, some lingered a little while longer. Lemme tell you, I didn’t wanna leave, I just wanted to move in and live with all these people forever in an amazing little Cyberpunk bubble. But I was also running on like 3 hours of sleep at that point, was extremely overwhelmed with so many positive experiences and impressions, and so we then left after taking some final snaps here and there and walking through the venue once more.

Img: The exit of the venue late at night with the Phantom Liberty Tour Banner now glowing

10/10 would go again, it was a blast, and I wouldn’t have minded for it to go on another six hours xD Not that I managed to sleep much anyway that night, because my brain was still going BRRR from all the impressions and conversations and encounters (still is to a degree right now, but I’m slowly getting calmer again xDD)

The Goodie Bag

Finally back at the hotel I got a proper look at the goodie bag!! All of this was also included in us just *being* there, like, whaaat...

Img: an overview of a variety of items featured in the goodie bag!

The goodies everyone got: a t-shirt with the Barghest logo in front and the Phantom Liberty Tour locations on the back. It was available in a lot of different sizes that you could ask for quite easily, and I hope there was one available for everyone and every body!

Img: A bright red, VERY WRINKLED t-shirt with a graffiti-style Barghest logo on its front in orange, and a white and orange print with the Phantom Liberty Tour locations on the back

The shirt is 100% cotton and made in Poland, but it smelled really really bad, coming out of a plastic bag XDD Not gonna put that on before it goes through the wash. But the quality seems very decent, and the color and print are really nice ;A; Could wear this casually under a shirt or zipper hoodie without anyone even being able to tell it’s gaming merch, and I love me a versatile piece like that!!

Then there was a Phantom Liberty themed sticker sheet with a nice rainbow holo effect :3 Some factions, some people and places, some more generic stickers. It’s very pretty and I think I might actually just frame it together with my signed ticket XD

Img: A holographic Phantom Liberty themed sticker sheet including faction and Night City logos amongst others

What I really really really loved though were these two Cologne-unique pieces: another sticker and a patch :O These seem to be 100% exclusives to the Cologne event, and I figure you can get something similar at the other events as well! Will treasure these like hell <3

Img: A blue and orange fabric patch and a holographic black and white sticker showing the same design: Phantom Tour Cologne below a stylized moth

And finally, everyone got a little mystery bag within their mystery bag, containing one of 6 keyboard cap thingies (don’t even know wtf they’re called but they’re cute XD). They were modelled after the various ingame factions, even including Barghest I believe! :O You can swap them out with any key on a mechanical gaming keyboard. I got Maelstrom, my sibling had the Mox :D So you could’ve definitely swapped with someone else for your fave faction, but I was actually quite pleased with Maelstrom :3

Img: Two small keyboard key replacer thingies... I don't know what to call them. One is red, featuring the head of a maelstromer on top, the other is blue, featuring the pink skull-head with bob haircut and bow of the Mox

So yes… that was my Phantom Liberty Tour experience! I apologize for the insanely long post, but I do hope you enjoyed reading it!

I tried to keep it somewhat concise and coherent and could definitely go more into detail about the gameplay elements we saw, the venue, the people there, and so on and so forth. So, don’t hesitate to hit me up with your questions :D And obviously, thanks so much for reading to the very end <3

[qqueenofhades]

Hi! If you’re willing, I’m looking for your insight as an academic and generally very thoughtful person. I’ve been working for the last year and a half to get into my dream program, and I got in. Biggest accomplishment of my life, and something I was very convinced that I wouldn’t be able to do until the day I got my acceptance letter (and then some). I’m two weeks from the term start, I’ve moved overseas, moved into an apartment, am about to open a bank account and register with a GP and everything. But I’m not excited, and things don’t feel right. I can recognize my big mistake going into this is that I only had a vague idea of what I wanted to get out of the program, and even then I wasn’t sure whether I really wanted that, or if I’ve just been madly, madly curious. I wanted to learn and meet people in the field and finally get out of the rhythm of my small, devalued, hometown uni. But afterward? Not a clue. And now I’m second guessing the idealistic thoughts I once had, that this education and this experience will be worth my savings in the end, even if a career doesn’t ever really come out of it. Now I ask myself, after all the work and money (and tears) I’ve already put into it, “Is it worth it?”

I’m meeting with the career advisor at my alma mater (career services there is a one-woman office) this evening, hoping she might help me reach some clarity. I haven’t been able to reach any advisors at my new uni yet, being as it is so big with so many students to correspond with (there are as many students here as there are people in my hometown, which I’m still failing to wrap my arms around).

My thoughts are pretty tangled, and I apologize for the rambling nature of this ask, but I hope there’s a thread here that you can follow. I spent all my life dreaming of leaving my little midwestern life only to find myself in the uni of my dreams wondering whether any of this is going to be worth it (and feeling rather homesick for my little midwestern life). These days just don’t feel like a good time to ship yourself off to school for the sole sake of learning, unless you know what you want out of it all in the long run. But that’s enough from me…

Welp. First of all, take a deep breath. It's totally understandable that you're in a bit of a scramble right now, everything feels weird and unsettled, and some amount of "oh god what have I done??" is entirely normal. When I first went abroad to the UK for my junior year in college, as a naive little 20-year-old also from a fairly small suburban town, I absolutely had the "oh fuck I'm terrified what have I done" feeling on the first night (I remember it very well). Then the next day hit, and I was like "oh yeah this is great I'm good to go" and didn't look back. I'm not saying it will be that complete or that soon for you, but the whole moving-overseas business is HARD (I did it again for my PhD, moving to a city I had never been before to start a doctorate program, even if I had already been in the UK) and it really screws your head up. So while I understand the panic and the need to wonder what the hell you're doing, please know that some entry shock and homesickness is normal and can be dealt with, and doesn't mean that you have in fact totally fucked yourself over.

Next, I think it's very important to also remember that your options are more than just "leave right now and go home" or "go through it to the end no matter what." I do think it's important to attend at least a full semester of the program, to see if the culture shock wears off and you discover your groove -- after all, you HAVE worked so hard to get here, and until you experience that for real and not just in the abstract, you don't know if it is in fact right for you. In my experience, people also develop clarity as they go; i.e. it's all right if you don't have the full picture just yet, or can't precisely articulate what it is that you expect to do here. That is something that will only come with experience, and if at the end of your first year, things still don't feel right or aren't clicking, you can reassess your options then, before you're so committed that you can't pull out. But yeah, I do think it's important to get over the first "aaaaaaaaah" reaction, find your feet, try some things out, and see how it feels. If it's still not your thing after that, then hey -- at least you know for sure.

[kori-senpai]

If you were to recommend your top Fence fanfics, which ones are they and why?

(my answer became unnecessarily long, skip to the end for the one rec I do actually have)

So, this is slightly embarrassing, but. But. But. But. Not sure if you know or not but I also write fanfics for Fence. My problem is that I'm one of those fabled long fic writers and the one fic I have up goes up to 164k words. A little beast, to say the least. Took me a little over a year to write it, pretty proud of it still :')

Now. When I write for a fandom, I do not read in said fandom. That is solely to keep myself from stealing anybodys ideas by accident. You know how dreams work? Surely. You process all the information you've gathered (actively or passively) during the day and they come together in some weird short films or some strange blockbuster which you'll think was extremely alien in the morning, but on some level it of course made sense. It's your head after all.

To get back to the initial point, when I write, I don't read other people's work in that fandom, because when I brainstorm at the start of the writing process and put it all down, I have this outline, I know where I'm going, I know where I'll end up, but there's evething in between. Which, on a long fic that spans at least 130k when I start going, is a lot. And since I really don't wanna steal by accident and jumble in ideas that weren't mine, I don't read other people's fics. Different fandoms? Sure. Not Fence [the respective fandom] tho.

NOW since I'm writing these beasts, they take a while. I posted the other one in August 2022, started the year before (ergo, no fence reading during that time already) and I started my current project in--

August 2022. So yeah. I haven't read any fence fanfics since roughly three years. But I recently got over a very bad writers block and should be finished in maybe three months. Not making promises here tho don't hold me to this lol

TALKING ABOUT PROMISES - thinking back to any fics I DO remember (and since I write so much myself it's honestly just other long Fics that manage to stick in my useless sponge of a brain) is Promised Things from @applesandbannas747 (I can't get the link to work I'm so sorry, but you'll find it if you search the Fence fandom by word count over 100k on ao3, that's how I always did it) and it's one of the only fics EVER where I went back after an amount of time had passed to reread it. I think there's only one other fic that managed to make me do that, so respect to the tagged author.

Sorry I couldn't give you more than that. If anybody even bothered to read this far - I'm very much open to all fic recommendations that came out during the last 3 years lmao. Give me half a year and hopefully not another random writing idea in the shower and I should be finally able to read some good fan content soon

(please muse, fuck off. It's been years now. Visit people that need you more than I do)

[soranihimawari]

Good as Hell

A drabble of sorts inspired by this list:

Sunflowers by Van Gogh

SingleParent!Kita x reader

Supporting cast: Kita Hae (6years old); Miya twins

Word count: 1.7K

Rating: KSF (kita shinsuke fluff)

Warnings? Read the disclaimer below ⬇️

Disclaimer/Brief backstory:Kita’s unnamed ex has been out of the picture for about four years, abandoning the farm and leaving behind a two year old Hae on the screen porch along with papers to surrender mother/parental rights thus leaving Kita the sole guardian of his child; Miya twins agree to help their former captain out by becoming godfathers and it is also fair to imply that the rest of the notable players from Inarizaki are Hae’s precious, formed uncle squad.

It’s not everyday that the farmer’s market near the Mori-Kita farmlands would host a night market, but alas, there comes a time for firsts like this summer night. On the eve of the summer solstice, all former students of the Inarizaki sports team had been contacted especially to help one former captain put on an excellent stand for said night market. One half of the Mori-Kita farm owners, Kita Shinsuke, had an easy time setting up the night market stand after receiving a few critiques on the product being sold via his financier, Mori-kun. Regardless, the former captain enlisted the help of all his underclassmen as much as he could to have the stand market-ready by the end of July.

The prep time had been scheduled about a month before the date of the local night market, yet you happened to be off from your inner-city job in the downtown area this particular weekend. A few coworkers from the motorcycle dealership had decided to take a few days off together for team building purposes and attend the summer solstice festivities in the country-side. You had received an invitation as the newest staff member in the mechanic division, suffice to say the men and women whom you work with were using this time to not only get to you know a little better, but to also ask those personal, yet kind of awkward family questions (ex. You have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Where did you learn to ride and fix motorcycles or dirt bikes? etc.). Your calm and nonchalant demeanor caused a few rumors to spread outside of the garage. To be fair, you do your job as best as the rest of them, but when you mentioned you had lived alone for an x-amount of years, your shop buddy, Kunei-senpai, had seemed to thwart any other awkward questions. He was able to shoo away those pesky up sellers from the showfloor out of the garage when they had been very clearly harassing you for dates and the like.

Thankfully, by the end of the first two work weeks, you had been included in very many lunch breaks and even had been invited to a bar by the shop owners to gain familiarity with everyone you work with. A few nights before the night market, you receive a call from Kunei, mentioning to meet up around 6:30p.m. by the old YMCA pool center:

“Apparently, that’s where the motorcycle parking will be, see you tomorrow YLN-san!”

Flash forward after busy work week, the night of the official night market arrives. You meet up with the others at the appointed time in the parking lot where Kunei-san had mentioned. You’re walking by the official banner entrance and you all eventually branch out. You’re at the warmed yams stand when you spot a lost kid who in their heightened panic runs straight to you, panic crying no less. You pay the stand owner and you ask for a sliced version of what you ordered, attempting to soothe and calm the kid. You kneel down after paying for the second portion as you introduce yourself:

“Hello, I’m yn-san. Can you tell me your name?”

The kid sniffles and bops their head.

“I’m Hae. Kita, Hae,” they straighten up and try to formerly shake your hard.

“Say, I have some extra sliced steamed yams here, are you allergic?”

Little Hae shakes their head and you notice how fair their platinum blonde hair is along with their bronzed fox-Iike eyes. It’s like they hit the generic lottery and that kid would break a lot of hearts when they’re older. Regardless, when Hae says they aren’t allergic, you hand them the little to-go boat with a disposable fork in the steamed vegetable. You’re eating yours as you suggest that you two stick together until Hae finds their way back to their parent’s stand.

“Daddy’s got a stand here tonight,” Hae says after taking a sip of the water you provided at a soda stand.

“And how did you get lost?” You wonder.

“My goddofāzās, ´Samu & ‘Tsumu, went to help my daddy bring stuff from the truck and I saw a cat plushie I wanted, so I walked to find it,” Hae looked dejected and embarrassed when they said that.

You try not to laugh, this was serious matter after all, but you’re sure whoever Hae calls ‘daddy’ is busy scolding his friends who were left in charge of watching the kid. Honestly, on the defense of the godfathers, Hae seemed really put together for a six year old. Sure, a little shaken up, but now with a stomach filled with a vegetable snack and water, you’re sure the kid is more determined to help you help find their parent.

Along the way, a few of your coworkers saw you being friendly with little Hae. They sort of send out a text chain saying that the kid looks like the spitting image of the owner of the sponsored booth for the night market. Luckily, your phone goes off and though Hae holds your hand, you use your free hand to read and catch up with the text chain. The ambient sounds of the night market around you calms you as you observe and let Hae lead you down a row of booths they think seems familiar. You give your thanks to your coworkers as they helped narrow down the booths and probable solo guardian of your one new pint-sized friend.

Elsewhere, a set of twins are getting an earful from a worried and angry father:

“Hae’s the most precious person t’me and you both lost ‘em?!”

“We sent out the Bat-Signal to the team, kita,” one of the godfathers says.

“Don’t worry, Hae’ll come running back here in no time,” the other says.

“For both your sakes, I pray my kid comes back in one piece…” Kita grumbles a string of curses as he reluctantly goes back to his stand to man the register.

It takes another fifteen minutes for Hae to start recognizing some familiar booths and although they complain about how much their feet hurt, you notice how the kid’s feet had already outgrown the shoes…

“Say, Hae,” your voice calms down their excited heartbeat.

“Yeah?”

You step in front of Hae and ask if it’s ok with them for you to pick them up and the serendipitous moment Hae says yes, you’re literally almost tackled to the ground by two men who wear the same face—so you scream and push Hae’s head into your shoulder as you make a run for it and those two fools slam into each other chest first. Hae’s laughing the entire time and now your brain is hitting overdrive as you let the adrenaline sink into your bloodstream until you hear a deeper voice call out to Hae. Judging by how much Hae squirms in your arms, you presume this was their father’s voice you hear.

Slowing to a stop, you see the kanji in large font as the cashier jogs to meet you.

“Daddy!” Hae excitedly exclaims as their father who by the way, seems to have been original in terms of strong inherited genes. You put the kid down and you watch Hae run off to their father’s waiting arms. The two gentlemen from before come back defeated and after a few minutes of scolding alongside a heart to heart with not following strangers, you clear your throat.

“Technically not a stranger, “ you point to yourself. “New friend, right Hae-Chan?”

Hae nods much to their father’s dismay, although when he looks at you in your black jeans, smudged crimson striped shirt, dirty under the fingernails from motor oil from the latest tune-up in the shop, and sensible boots, he can’t help but soften the scowl on his face.

“Hae, promise me you’d stay with your godfathers this time, ok?” Hae’s father says he lets them go into the other men’s care.

It’s only apparent to you now that the gentlemen from earlier are not only the godfathers, but also twin siblings who can be heard making small bets with Hae when they depart the stand for a few minutes.

“So,” Hae’s father begins. He sheepishly gives you a small smile while stuffing his hands into his jeans pocket.

“Umm…YLN, YN,” you extend a hand for him to shake.

He shakes your hand while apologizing for his child’s behavior—

“It’s alright, really,” you chuckle. “I liked their company…”

“I think I might like yours too,” he says.

You blush a bit, nodding along while he sort of chortles over speaking his mind.

“Over coffee sometime?…would that be ok?”

He pulls a business card from the register: it has a star and small cornucopia of seasonal vegetables on it: KITA FARMS INC.

He takes a pen and scribbles down his phone number for you on the back and hands it to you.

“I’ll call you sometime,” you say, squinting at his precise penmanship. “Kita Shinsuke.”

His eyes are a softer bronze tone when you say his name for the first time. It’s like you’re a bit unsure for a moment before he says your name back to you and it seems delightfully whole; the confidence in both of you rise and you make a very bold choice.

“If it’s not too much to ask, mind if I buy a few of those blueberries? I muddle them with some soda water and ginger beer at home…”

Kita smiled warmly at this and you hand him some spare yen notes.

“Keep the change,” you say as the register opens. “The first round of coffee is on you. Oyasumi, Shinsuke.”

A light breeze follows you as you disappear into the night crowd, Hae and her godfathers return with some ice cream and other souvenirs, and all three of them have this smug and impish look on their face.

“Daddy, did you ask YN-san to marry you?”

Kita denies it defending that he’d only do it after you had coffee with him.

Yet, his friends, his faithful kouhai since high school, the twin godfathers of this sharply witted child, burst into laughter when Hae goes to call their father out: “Your face is all red…”

“…they had a sunflower tattoo,” Kita says this to himself proud he finally felt the universe deliver a much needed ´win’ especially since it’s been four years since the mother of Hae had wanted nothing to do with either of them.

And for the first time in the four years since he came home to an empty place and an abandoned two year old inside the screened porch during the early spring, Kita felt this calming wave of genuine goodness the second he saw you with Hae, running through to get to his stand. He sees you now, a few yards away, and you lock eyes with him as you make your purchase of a blown glass sunflower pendant. His phone vibrates in his pocket and he reads the text from you:

I’m free day after tomorrow, does coffee sound great then? —Hae’s new friend✌🏼

[mandareeboo]

Unfinished Work #58: "Coffee Time"

I'm kind of sad steam ran out for this one! It was gonna be interesting. The basic idea from here was that Octavia would start seeing Loona as a friend and invite her over when Stella got her things. Loona would admittedly only ever see it as a job, since Octavia never asked her about her day or life. Once that was out Octavia would apologize and they'd become actual friends. It just didn't pan out.

Title: Coffee Time

Summary: Loona finds a very angsty bird coming by once a week to break into her routine and steal her coffee.

Being a secretary is the pits. Maybe it would be worth something if there was any real need for it, but I.M.P. is almost solely walk-ins so Loona honestly, legitimately has nothing to do most of the day. Her main work was keeping up with clients while the others went off murdering- usually via text, since even the dumbest of the damned don't tend to casually discuss having people go to the human realm for them on a call. It's a lot of quick, autocorrected, boring messages that Loona's basically turned into a one-woman algorithm of 'yes, we're doing it. Yes, they're there. Yes, we really are gonna kill a bitch. No, I don't want your unsolicited dick pics.'

Loona's claim to fame is in two very specific aspects. One: she has legs for days. Two: she makes a damn good cup of coffee. The nice thing about a hellhound's nose is that she knows the exact second it's perfectly brewed, and exactly how much to add. Her coffee is consistent, it's reliable, and it's sad that it's the highlight of her day to make some stupid bean juice, but it is.

Rifling through the cabinets, Loona finds two unmarked white mugs and pulls them down. She fills one higher than the other. The smaller cup gets a shitton of creamer in it; like, an absolutely ridiculous amount. It's basically milk with extra steps. The other gets the rest of the bottle- and it's never enough for Moxxie's bitch ass, but Loona decided a long time ago that if he wanted his preferred amount he should buy his own or get his wife to stop drinking half a damn bottle at a time.

Setting them down at the front of her desk, Loona flops back into her chair, pulls up Sinstagram, and waits.

Her job is a routine. It's simple. It's monotonous. Sometimes it's really fucking boring. Most of the time it's really fucking boring, actually. But Loona doesn't exactly have a lot of options on her plate.

Then the door gets kicked open, and suddenly it's new and refreshing.

"You would not BELIEVE the shit my dad told me today," Octavia grouses. Loona's eyebrows raise as the avian casually grabs one of the few waiting room chairs and pulls it over to her desk. She didn't invite the Goetia. She'd offered to listen whenever she wanted to rant, after that night in L.A., but she'd really not expected her to take her up on that. It was just one of those things, y'know? A yarn nice people use but don't really expect to have put into practice.

"You didn't walk here, did you?" she asks. Loona didn't even want to consider the stink Stolas would make if his owlet had walked into the shadiest part of Imp City alone.

"Of course not. I took a bus." Octavia's beak wrinkles as she recounts it. Loona wonders if it's the first time she's taken a bus in hell. They make Earth buses look spotless. "The dick isn't here, is he?"

"Blitz? Nah. He's off murdering the ex of a client." Loona's pretty sure he'll be home soon, though. Annoying as they all were, the imps were damn good at fucking their way up and out of fucked up situations. "We got time."

Octavia looks at the mugs, grabs the darker one, and slugs it like its vodka. Loona's too amused to tell her it's not for her. Because, fuck, who cared? They can make their own fucking coffee. Loona casually pulls the off-white milk monstrosity towards herself. "Anyway. My dad told me the wildest shit today. He was betrothed to my mum. It was some... fucked up arranged shit."

"You didn't know that?"

"You did?"

"He's royalty, kid. Rich bitches don't usually marry out of love."

"Well, yeah, but," Octavia grasps at straws, "We don't talk to the rest of dad's family. I just assumed it was because he and my mum pissed them off and eloped."

"Maybe," Loona replies. It's not like she knows a damn thing about it. "I don't, like, know your dad or anything, but he always gave me hella gay vibes. I didn't think he liked women at all."

Octavia takes a smaller sip, clenching her talons around the warmth for comfort. "I... don't know. I've never asked."

"He'd probably tell you if you did."

"Yeah. Probably. Does it... bother you? Our dads dating."

Loona's pretty sure 'dating' isn't what their relationship could be defined as. But she also doesn't want to break it to Octavia that she's heard they bone for profit, either. Not her table. "I really don't give a fuck what they do. Blitz is just my dad on paper."

(It's almost a lie. Loona sees Blitzo mostly as, like, an obnoxious roommate whose also her boss. But she also knows her role is nepotism at its finest, and that he gets her presents and remembers her favorite things, and Loona just. Can't think too deeply about it. Can't rely on that. It's only a matter of time before that goes away. It always does.)

"He's so... gross."

"Just be glad he's not giving you shitty cutesy nicknames."

Octavia shudders.

Loona's phone goes off with an obnoxiously loud chime. She sighs. "Sorry, kid. That's my cue to bring them back."

"'Via," Octavia corrects, immediately standing up. She fiddles with her beanie nervously. "Can I... come back sometimes? And talk to you? It's just nice to have someone around my age to bitch to."

Loona agrees. It's about time her job had some actual fucking requirements. And if that requirement is hanging out with a cool but troubled teenager, she can handle that. By the time the portal's open Octavia's gone, the chair is back in its place, and Loona's sending the usual 'we killed the bitch, like we said.'

Moxxie's grating voice breaks through Loona's eardrums like sandpaper as he lifts the almost empty coffee pot. "Goddamn it, Loona. Can't you do your job?"

"Do it yourself you fat bitch," she intones blandly, hiding a smile behind the pages of a grimoire that's as old as hell itself.

———————————————————————————————————-

"Wow," Octavia says the second time, finding the exact same setup. "This really is all you do all day."

"It's called a job," Loona replies, waving her in. "A really stupid one."

The Goetia trilled as she pulled the chair up. She seemed a bit more hesitant this time around- probably because she wasn't in a blind rage like the last time. "What's it like, having a job?"

The hellhound gestured to herself, sitting in the same damn chair with her legs up on the same damn table. "It's this. Sit here all day. Same time every day. Make some coffee, keep clients up to date, and portal the idiots home when they're done fucking around topside."

[talldarkandroguesome]

17th of Last Seed, Turdas

I have returned from Davon's Watch. Black-Silk-Earth was very grateful for all the business she was able to catch up on. She did not go without me and so the past couple of months has been unable to keep an eye on her side of thing.

She spoke to me about the prices she was seeing her produce selling for and said that she did not think that her people were earning enough for the profit and markups being put upon her goods. I brought her by the market stall and had a word with the manager, Tanur.

We went to his office and discussed the pricing that he was offering and he had said that he had set the price for goods but that there was a higher demand this year so they had raised prices to reflect that.

I intervened, knowing that Tanur was using the funds of the profits to funnel directly into the Nest, and told him that he must increase the amount that was going to those producing the goods, regardless of the exact contracted amount. He should be passing along at least a percentage in line with the mark-up to those who were allowing his business to flourish.

Tanur looked surprised that I was siding with Black-Silk-Earth and seemed to give her a very scrutinizing look before he pulled out his coffers and ledger and began to work on a deal. He calculated the markup percentage and increased the agreed upon payment for goods by the same percentage. I told him to deliver back pay on it as well and he gave me one look before doing so.

He put everything in writing and I watched him count the coin and place it into a box with a lock and hand her the key. I had her ensure that the key worked perfectly and made Tanur give in writing a statement that there would be no more such business issues for me to find. I had entrusted Black-Silk-Earth with my word that her people would be compensated properly for their goods and I intended for that to remain the case.

I escorted Black-Silk-Earth back to the farmers she worked with and then gave my apologies for their having been an issue at all. I asked Black-Silk-Earth to come to me with any such discrepancies right away and promised that I would see that all was handled accordingly. I did not tolerate those who would take advantage of others in my good name and promised, as I had to Tanur before I left, that I would speak to him about how he was running the business. She looked so happy and relieved and told me that she was not expecting so much. I told her that it was well earned. Their produce was far better than what anyone else grew and that considering the food shortages in the spring, those profits should well have gone to them.

Black-Silk-Earth told me she did not expect a Dunmer to see to it that they were treated in any positive way, though she did not say it so forward. I think she was far too well aware that I was her employer on one front and the reason for her other increase of fortune and so she did not wish to express the full ire she felt towards my race. It is understandable. To have people prefer starving than to eat the food that your family and community is starving to provide, hoping for scraps that people refuse you based solely on what you look like, it leaves every right to allow hatred to build within you at any who bear that blood.

I only hope that I can do my part in changing their fortunes. I wish that they could simply sell their wares for the profit. And then it dawned on me, there is no reason why they could not. And so I made a decision. I was going to have Tanur allow at least one of the farmers each day to work at the shop selling the produce. The business is owned by a Dunmer, so people would not flinch at making the purchase. But the price and earnings could be directly taken by the farmers themselves.

My plan, is to have a few of the farmers become regular faces around the market and then have half of Tanur's stall be run and operated by the farmers and the other half by him and his employees.

I spoke to Tanur about this idea and he was not particularly happy. He would lose large profits that way and he said he was already saving up to put a lease on a small shopfront up in northern section of town. He says he has found a group of wealthy regulars to his little gatherings who have asked him if they might be able to have a slightly more exclusive sort of party.

Tanur assures me that the profits they have made from these parties, and they have been able to gain much from their more voracious attendees, has allowed them to come up with the down payment for the rental of the property and the first month, but that they hardly have enough if they do not have the additional profits from the shop to keep it going month to month.

I assured Tanur that we had ways to payments happen. That our small Nest was part of a greater network and that, should there be a feasible plan set up surrounding this idea at some sort of party venue, I could have it arranged.

At that Tanur seemed thrown off. He had not expected such an offer. I told him that I would of course need to know the details, to meet these regulars, and to deem such a venture worthy of consideration by those who pulled the threads.

He brought me back to his home and showed me where he had his plans locked away for safe keeping. Apparently there are some minor nobles who have enjoyed the relaxation of being pampered and having their carnal desires fulfilled. They have friends who are also interested, but many of them do not wish to risk being seen by the more common participants at the parties Tanur hosts. They have offered Tanur more coin to allow them to have exclusive use of the space for one of the nights that Tanur hosts his parties every first and third week of the month. And they often send him messages asking for an exclusive party on one of the off weeks as well.

I considered this. A place where we hosted what amounts to orgies for the rich. Honestly it sounds like what some Nests end up as already. I am sure that Tanur feels very at home in such an environment. And so I asked Tanur if he was still allowing other regulars the other nights. He said that he was, of course, and there were even some he thought might be good additions to our little band.

So I told Tanur I wished to meet the regulars. That he should send word to his regulars of a party with a special guest. That there would be finer food and drink provided and that he should make arrangements to the space he was looking to use and see if they would be willing to take a one week rent to see if the space were big enough for the shop he was looking to open.

I went and took care of my crypt duties and checked in on the family estate before returning with a confirmation from Tanur. He was given one week starting now, to make a decision and get back to them. I told him to get ready and meet me at the Nest, for there was much to do.

I sent word to Zethith that I was ready for the meeting if they would be so kind as to meet me in my office. Then I teleported to the Cathedral of Webs.

Zethith and I spoke about Tanur's plan and my hesitations and hopes. They seemed intrigued by how such a place might be put into use and suggested everything from a meeting place, a space to host events of all sorts, and even, in a manner of a brothel if need be. They were glad to see I was no longer stuck in Elsweyr and I made my apologies again about that saying I would do my best to prevent such things where possible.

We agreed that it was best to try an experiment. A year would be fine. That we would see what could be gained, influence, money, secrets, by having such a place for our use. If any danger seemed to come our way, we would cease all activities immediately.

And so, with Zethith and I in agreement about how to proceed, I made my way back through the portal to the Harborage.

My Spiderilngs were all very excited. Tanur had been filling them in on the plan of a special party. My entrance seemed to only startle Tanur, who had expected me to walk in the front door, rather than to be coming from the Cathedral of Webs.

I was dressed in one of my fine ritual attire and with Farayn putting the last touches on my hair, which she arranged and held together with her own silk. They were all in awe. I urged them to get prepared with a ritual cleansing so that we might start on our prayers early, in order to allow us our time to prepare the space for the evening.

Everyone hurried, Blaze and Effervescent being the first ones to finish, racing against one another as usual. I feel a sort of desire growing between the two of them and hope that it only fuels their continued growth within the Nest. Ebony and Prince were next to finish and I do not wonder if their time training as deathweavers has caused the increased speed in those of my Spiderlings. The others finished soon after and I could see the looks that Ebony and Arrow were exchanging as they stood beside one another. Their relationship seems to continue to grow.

Once everyone was cleansed and prayers were made, I asked them to hold their offerings. Usually they we given with the final rites, but I assured them that the completion would happen once we had finished with out guests and that it was then that we would indulge in the offerings to our Prince. We went over the words to say as we were reaching climax and I played the melody to which they should be sung. They were in Velothis, of course, but I know that the Spiderlings have all been practicing and being able to do it as a group will help with them remembering.

Once I was confident in their abilities, I had everyone change into something nice for the party. Those that did not have anything, I had a few different items that they could wear and many of the Spiderlings were excited by the opportunity to dress up a bit nicer. I had many items that need not be removed or had parts that could stay on at least partially. Everyone bore a bit of red cloth somewhere.

We all went to the new space. It was a fine place with a modest entry space, a couple rooms beyond that must have served as an office and a stockroom, then a good sized open area upstairs for a workroom. There was a small kitchen in the back and a bigger storeroom in the basement.

I had the Spiderlings begin to cleanse and incense the space while Tanur and I went and purchased furnishings to be delivered immediately.

We set up fine silk curtains around the windows in a deep scarlet and with violet accents. The second floor we had beds with abundant cushions and all the fabrics silk of the same scarlet and violet. I had a great chandelier over the large beds.

The entrance had imported carpets and plants in silver planters. Trays aplenty were set up with fine foods and a good stocking of the best wines and spirits and glasses to serve them out of.

The lighting was abundant but not bright. You could see, but always there were places where the shadows seemed to creep in and make you feel the excitement of the forbidden.

The basement was left for a singular purpose, for the one life that would be given in offering. I did not know for sure if one of the guests would be such an offering or not. But if not, then I would hand-select another worthy offering for my Deathweavers to take care of. They must do it in secret from the rest of the Nest and they could choose to work together or separately, but it must be done in the basement and without alerting anyone else. I would let them know their target when the time was right.

They were very interested, particularly Blaze and Effervescent who had not felt as though they had done their best job their previous attempt.

Needless to say, they were excited.

The night went splendidly. The guests who were the non-pretentious regulars seemed to be those of a high libido and or looking for company. There was one who I think could be a good candidate. They seem the type who wants to get away from their current life and to make something more of themselves.

Of the other regulars, I was surprised to see there was two who might be good candidates. Ruthless and cunning sorts. They would certainly have resources to contribute to the Nest.

The beginning of the evening was with anyone who wished to come and it was nice to meet people who were just ready to enjoy the intimacies of one another's company.

I played music for much of the party, moving from room to room, singing songs that would encourage lustful behavior and intensify the sensations of touch, taste, and smell. None of the starting guests had anything even remotely likely to make them a good target and so I was happy to see them leave contented.

I changed the music and my clothing for the more exclusive party. I put on bells and chimes upon my clothing so that I could make music as I moved through the rooms and sung. I used castanets to continue the music and would join in with others here or there as it suited me or to try and learn more of the guests themselves.

There were some possible candidates for offering, but they were the ones who might also be good additions to the Nest and so they were spared.

I went into the street, pretending I was drunkenly stumbling out from the party. The businesses around were not open so late, the streets empty save for less savory types. And so when someone came up with an offer of help and a hand reaching for my purse strings, I played into it and asked if they were there for the party too.

They said they had followed me out to check on me. As I saw that they were a member of the Thieves Guild my certainty of target clicked. They waved to a friend and I asked if their friend was coming with us. They made hand gestures at one another before I run towards them, weaving with supposed drunkenness and grabbed their arm. Another member of the Guild.

I made an excuse about having left my necklace inside and asked if they might help me look for it. The two, realizing that they might find more riches inside agreed. I could hear them chuckle as they entered and saw the finery inside. They took food and drink and I made eye contact with Prince, motioning to the two mer with me.

He nodded and went to get the others. The thieves asked me about the party. I told them that it was my friend's name day and I was getting a little bit naughty with them and drinking until I had a good time, but I was so excited to have met some helpful people.

There was a locked box in the corner and so the one woman began trying to seduce me. I did not play hard to get and allowed the man with her to head towards the lock box. As she stripped me down and we began our intimacies, I heard the approach of one of my Spiderlings.

The thieves were trapped and would have to play along for sure now. The man began to unlace his trousers and pretend as though he was enjoying watching the woman and I. It was Blaze who I saw first and she looked between the man and woman, seemingly unsure. The woman rode me hard, trying to sell herself as my companion and the man began to stroke himself as though he were into it.

Blaze smiled and asked why she had not been invited in on the fun. Effervescent joined right behind, asking if this room was now having some action. Prince, nothing but a vest on, joined next and sat besides the man, following suit and engaging the man in conversation about how much fun it was to watch. Blaze began to play with the woman and Effervescent with her.

I could feel the woman atop me starting to get close, despite herself and I slipped a thin dagger from my hair as her voice rose, I plunged the dagger into her chest, the narrow blade sliding easily between her ribs. Blaze kissed her hard to muffle the sound she was starting to make. The woman began to struggle for breath. I had gotten her in the heart and through a lung. I could see Blaze moving to cover the woman's nose and mouth with her mouth and hand, keeping the woman from getting air.

I heard Prince asking the guy if he wanted some help. The guy knew he was trapped and had to play along. Effervescent joined them and kissed the man. I saw the draw of daggers and heard the whispered prayers of offering a life. The man cried out as the woman began to fall limp. Blaze pulled the woman's face into her cleavage and I slid out from under her, taking the knife out of her chest and wiping it on her unlaced dress.

In similar fashion to what Blaze and I had done, the others worked in tandem, pleasuring the man as they slit his throat and stomach. It was messy, but it did not take long for the two to still and go cold. I was proud of them. And our offerings were made. We washed off with basins of water and then headed upstairs and moved into our song once everyone had found a partner.

With the basement locked tightly and all our guests satisfied, I would call it a good event for all. And dead thieves tell no tales so there will be no sign that anyone was even there. I had Farayn take a message for the bodies to be brought to the spiders of the Nest and they will dispense of them with a good meal.

We had a good talk afterwards where I congratulated those who participated for their hard work. We did lessons.

Then I announced that we would soon be beginning another competition, as we had last year, for who would be the vessel of our Prince for the upcoming Summoning Day. I said there would be three areas I would be assessing. The first, was leadership. The second, competency in the rites and prayers. The third, was in impressing me. I told them that Tanur would explain the rules and guidelines in the morning. Then I took my leave, allowing the anticipation and the excitement to remain.

I have some new kind of energy about me since yesterday, though I do not know what or why. Hopefully my time training with Tanur will help me to relax and make sense of it all.

[kyndaris]

The History of Wrong Guys

Although White Coat and I had made plans to check out the Bastille Day celebrations at Circular Quay and the Rocks, in the weeks leading up to it I just couldn't bear to bring myself to keep chatting with him. At least, on the Hinge app. It just seemed like h wasn't putting in the same amount of effort and then he'd make statements that sounded oddly like conclusions or judgements of who I was as a person. None of which sat well with me.

For example, it just so happened that I went to both Supanova and SMASH this year. Two annual conventions that are the talk of the city of Sydney when they come round. Instead of asking if I go to a lot of conventions, he simply said: you go to a lot of conventions, then. End statement. Nothing more to it.

I know that conversations with men can be obtuse. But I'm sorry? Is going to two conventions a lot in a single year? What IS the definition of 'a lot' anyways? True, over the course of 10 years, I've been to quite a few conventions. Perhaps one or two each year, which would make the number in the low 20s, but when I compare myself to true regulars of these events, that number pales in comparison.

After all, some people have gone to these events since they were young children.

But you don't know that, Mr White Coat. From our conversations, you would only know that I went to SMASH and Supanova THIS year. And that I went to PAX Aus last year. So, the number of known conventions I've been to, at least to your knowledge sits at 3. Which, by all standards and measurements is not 'a lot' by any means.

You can see where I'm going with this.

Worse than that, White Coat simply didn't offer much in stimulating conversation When, one weekend, he told me of the 'board games' he had played with his friends, I queried which board games in particular he had played. His answer? Star Wars Armada. That's it. That was his sole answer.

He didn't expand. Nor did he mention any other board games.

I ask you, dear reader, what is a person to make of that?

The more I chatted with him, the less inspired or motivated I was to continue with the conversation. If he wasn't going to put in the effort, why should I? There was clearly no curiosity and there was naught of worth to talk about.

One scintillating conversation we had before I broke it off was how much he was enjoying his two weeks holiday because he worked at a school and that he'd taken a walk along the Parramatta River.

The other riveting conversation we had was how much he hated being interrupted by students during his many meet-ups and 'dates' and the generational gap it came to chatting with his fellow work colleagues when he made a Half-Life 2 reference and they didn't get it.

In the end, I dreaded the second date so much that I told him in uncertain words that whatever this relationship was between us, it wasn't going to get past the acquaintance stage. Still, I remained polite and wished him all the best in his future dating endeavours. I simply wasn't the ONE for him.

Of course, he had to leave with a parting shot that I ought to change around my profile pictures. No 'good luck Kyndaris.' Or an 'I understand but I think you should give me a second chance.' No, no. Just another negging comment about what my profile picture should be.

Not soon after, I began chatting with another person on Hinge only to unmatch them soon after as they dumped on me about the virtues of Japanese light novels and how they could be incredibly complex but also provide some light relief in the form of comedy. And maybe that worked for him but as someone that likes 'Western literature (something to which he referred to other books that weren't in the purview of his favourite genre),' my brief contact with Japanese light novels had left much to be desired.

I mean, I'm all for people reading what they like. It's a good thing that more people are reading. But you don't have to drag on high-fantasy novels.

It always felt like I needed to defend why I liked reading fantasy of the Western literature kind. So, things like Brandon Sanderson or Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.

But worse than that, all he wanted to do was spam me about his one hyperfixation. Even when I attempted to change the topic and ask about his other interests, he went back to talking about, and comparing, Death Note to a fantasy comedy manga. Of particular note was how superior the fantasy manga was because the sequence of events for a particular character was logical as it made sense in its own world and how he had to put down Death Note because he couldn't get past one implausible aspect of the plot.

Dear readers, I'll have you know, I did try to give him a chance. But it was just too much. And after bouncing off White Coat, I couldn't handle being talked at rather than talked to.

These kinds of incidents only seem to make me feel lonelier than ever. More than that, it chips already at my low self-worth - not that I need the external validation but are these the quality of people that I can attract? Men that just talk about themselves without giving much thought to a healthy discussion of life, the universe and everything?

It's like they're all just focused on their own very internal lives and niche interests without turning their mind to the complexities of the world we live in.

But also, it's just not attractive at all.

And it makes me wonder if this is what love has been reduced to. Or maybe that trying to date men was the wrong move entirely and I should redouble my efforts with trying to meet a nice woman that I can get along well with.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure which way I swing still, or if I swing for any side at all. All I do know is that the people I've kinda been obsessed with or wanted to know more about/ be friends with desperately have been women. Like, this one popular sporty girl during China camp or this married woman on a recent trip to Egypt.

But the question, of course, is if it's actual romantic/ sexual attraction or if it's because there's an aspect to them that I really admire and wish I could emulate in my own life.

It's probably the confidence.

I just wish I shared their same confidence and could exude it in my day to day. Maybe that'll win me the person of my dreams?

Who knows.

In any case, I don't really think online dating is for me. And I've given it a heck of a try. A year's worth of effort and time spent into talking to strangers.

Will things progress with Game Master? Or will there be a new contender for my affections? Stay tuned to Dating 2.0!

[fourseasonsfigs]

I See You Han Ye - Official

I've been posting a little irregularly lately because of travel and work, but also because I was obsessively watching Legend of Anle. I finally finished it up! All 39 episodes plus the little bonus snippets at the end. Don't worry, no spoilers here, just figs.

I really love Han Ye as a character. He's excessively noble and good, and I adore him for it. Gong Jun did a beautiful, nuanced job playing him. He's such an internal, controlled character that I think it would be easy to have him come off as flat or two-dimensional. Kudos to Junjun - he's really worked hard on his acting, and it shows.

Gong Jun had a few really powerful scenes that I am not going to mention to avoid spoiling them, but you'll know them when you get there. I'll have to do a post on my thoughts on the show later, after all the eps are freely available.

Anyway! My fig friend (who is primarily a doll collector) was tracking the official Legend of Anle dolls, and gave me a heads up when they were released. (Super cute by the way) I did a quick search to see if any official figs had been released, and sure enough, there was. The same manufacturers that had produced the Word of Honor official figs had produced two figs each of the main characters - Prince Han Ye, Ren Anle, and Luo Mingxi, as well as a prop set. The other figs are cute, but I gotta draw the line somewhere or else my entire house just becomes Figville, Population: Too Many.

So, I just bought both of Han Ye, plus of course the prop set. I do love my props! They happened to land in warehouse the same time I was sending out an air package, so they arrived speedily on my doorstep in about 10 days. Here they are:

I don't have enough picture slots to do both at once, so today I'll post about the bottom two sets - the seated Han Ye and his props, and next I'll do the one with the veil.

You know I don't like to compare figs to each other, because each fig set is delightful in its own way, and in the case of the fan-produced ones, made with a tremendous amount of love and care.

However, since these were commercially mass produced, I feel fine saying that while these figs are cute, they are not as cute as the fan-produced ones. I've clearly been totally spoiled by my fig makers, in the best of ways.

BUT...you will be the judge!

The inspiration for this fig appears to be this scene:

He's in his study (surrounded by his props!), his hair is up in this guan we see in the picture, the outfit looks very similar to this, and he's holding a fan.

Like all PVC figs, this arrived in a sealed foil pack.

As you saw, he arrived with his chair separately.

Just like the Word of Honor official figs, this set also had the Tofu / Koitake brand names on the soles of the boots. Just like those figures, these also had the pants with the boots hidden under the fig - always a nice touch.

The fig sits very well on the chair. No issues at all with him sliding out or wrongly positioned or anything at all. I don't need to stick or glue him down, and I don't need to put him on a fig stand.

You know I love that they included his ring! I want replicas of all his rings on this show.

Like most figs in chairs, he doesn't sit fully all the way back in the chair. I think the proportions for the legs would be too long if they did.

As I mentioned before, the chair is well done. It's sturdy because it's so wide, and because he's leaning on one of the arm rests rather than standing straight up without further support.

You can see the pose really well from behind here - I like it! This scene was so cute in the show.

That is one big topknot! He looks good with his hair pulled back in his standard court look, but of course I love Han Ye's half-down hair the most.

He has a very cute little side profile with the little tiny nose!

They have his beauty mark under his eye here.

And we're back around. You can see a bit of the detail with the fastenings on his yuanlingpao, but otherwise his outfit is extremely plain. Which is a pity given how gorgeous all his costumes were for this show. I've noticed Tofu / Koitake doesn't tend to put much printing or patterns on the costumes themselves - it's generally just color based.

Even his guan doesn't have a ton of detail.

Alright! That's the full pic set of the fig itself.

The prop pack came individually bundled, with a box card. That made me laugh … I've never gotten a box card for a prop pack before! Sometimes I don't even get box cards for figs!

You can see here that there's a cutout in the desk for the fig's legs.

It's a cute set! I'd love more props for figs in general.

I did very briefly consider buying two sets of the props so I had an extra for one of my other Hanye figs, but in the end decided against it.

And here he is with the full set! Very cute.

Here's a top down version too so you can see him hard at work.

This fig looks quite a bit different than most figs that I have. To illustrate, here's a comparison:

I thought, oh, alright, his face is pretty wide. But then I compared it to a wider faced fig:

I'm just not sure. Maybe it's because of the molded nose and mouth. Also, I guess I keep comparing him to A-Xu, which doesn't make a whole ton of sense! I think I just automatically pair him up in pictures.

Here we have the box card and box for Han Ye, and here's the same for the props:

And just like that, I've hit my 30-picture limit per post. Come back tomorrow to see veiled Han Ye!

Material: PVC

Fig Count: 459

Scene Count: 31

Rating: A hard working Prince

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]