#I HAVE A /LOT/ OF EMOTIONS im sorry to put yall through that

[hannahluvsbillie]

causal.

pairing: billie x reader

a/n: this is my first time writing a blurb like this! sorry if it’s lowkey messy and confusing, let me know if it is 😓. i came up with this idea half awake at 1 am and i thought i’d post it here!! ok bye im talking too much

warnings: none (maybe angst if you squint)

“this’ll be casual right?”

billie says, looking into your eyes. the moon shining through the windshield of her car, giving the car a type of lighting that can’t be recreated, especially as it’s shining on her.

you nod. you’ll regret nodding in the later months. when everything doesn’t feel casual. especially these car rides you two have. where she picks you up, then somehow you two end up in the backseat, her between your legs, praising you like your the only woman that really matters to her.

“yeah. causal.” you say under your breath.

billie just nods, smile still lingering on her face as she backs up out of the parking spot and starts to drive back to your apartment.

i tried to be the cool girl that holds her tounge and gives you space.

you and billie were driving, again. it’s become a weekly routine of yours. she picks you up, then she drives to nowhere in specific. then you end up in a parking lot, in the back seat. every. time.

suddenly, her phone lights up. out of pure instinct you look down at it, seeing a DM from instagram. you immediately recognize the username, that’s the girl you saw in her following. it was almost like the username lit up with red light to you.

billie glances over and sees you looking down at her phone, she casually puts her hand over the phone and flips it over to where you couldn’t see it. of course she’s hiding it from you.

whatever, it wasn’t like you two where exclusive. no matter how much you wished you two were, it would never happen.

a few weeks later, you two where in the same spot. the same thing happened. her phone lit up with the same username.

it may of been the lack of sleep you got last night, but you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“who’s that?” you say softly, glancing up at billie.

“hm?” she hums, her hand resting on your thigh. she looks down at her phone and if you weren’t staring at her, you wouldn’t of seen it. but the slightest bit of anxiety crosses her face.

“oh, just some girl.” she says, as if it’s the most obvious thing.

she does the same thing she did last time, and the time before last. she flips her phone over.

“are yall two… like a thing?” you say softly, your voice dripping with anxiety.

“don’t worry about it mama.” she says, looking over at you for a split second.

you wanted to chuck her phone out the window at that moment, irritated by her causal response.

you take a deep breath, this could either lead to another argument or to just a brush off response from her. deep down you hoped for the latter.

“how many girls do you talk to bills?” you say, your tone comes off annoyed. your true emotions showing.

her hand grips your thigh just a bit harder, and her eyebrows raised at your tone.

“whys it matter?”

“we aren’t exclusive.” she says the last sentence under her breath.

that last sentence felt like she just stabbed you in the chest. even though you knew deep down that was the truth, you had found yourself believing a false reality, that maybe she did want more with you. that you could be her one and only.

“oh- i was just wondering.” you say, sounding small. she always had a way to make you feel like you were in the wrong.

but no, it was all just a game to her. your just another one of the girls she talks to. you always will be to her.

[dekusleftsock]

MMMMM OKAY OKAY OKAY

I’m surprised no one has talked about how interesting Izuku breaking his mask is???????? Like oh my god?????

He even comments on the fact that it’s probably useless to wear in a scene like this, since he only put it on previously to shield his face from the waves while fighting and running away from Himiko.

In fact, I could even compare this to another Himiko scene altogether!

Himiko’s broken mask.

It’s a metaphorical mask, but honestly, so is Izuku’s. In this chapter (and previous chapters, obviously) Izuku is hiding from the fact that he has… deeper than desirable feelings for Katsuki that makes him violent and hateful. He does not want to be violent or hateful, but currently, he is at such an awful state of mind (due to Katsuki’s death and then reawakening, and also partly the state of his friends and colleagues) that he can’t help doing so.

That hate and violence cannot be stuffed down deep in his bones like usual, oh no, his quirk elicits a PHYSICAL reaction. But he didn’t have a quirk before, how could he really know that this would happen? It’s like walking through daily life as a teenager, and then in your early adulthood being hit by an extreme anxiety disorder or other health conditions. With no real reason, it just happened one day! Other people have dealt with this before sure, but they had several years throughout their adolescence to figure it out, how to cope with it. And just like it’s said in the manga, it’s like everyone else is running far ahead, and you’re just starting to crawl.

And that’s what the mask is (fuck you dream 🫶🫶🤭) really for. It protects Izuku on a very emotional level. The mask is broken, chipping, dirty—yet he wears it anyway because it’s the only way he can really smile like allmight. Just like allmight found his mask, he also found his smile. It’s also probably why his first reaction to having a quirk stolen (while also strategical) is to hide hide hide in blackwhip. A bubble that hides him from Shigaraki, from Katsuki, from everyone who could see his face.

And comparing this to toga, hello?? Her masking metaphor is about MASKING AS A HETEROSEXUAL GIRL, and her breaking that mask makes her a deviant, an outcast! And here Izuku is, doing the exact same thing.

Shigaraki has danger sense now, by all means, the table has flipped—Shigaraki now knows that Izuku wants to hurt him. Izuku wants to destroy him. Danger sense doesn’t work on just anyone, it has to be coming from a place of malice (because Himiko doesn’t affect danger sense), and an urge for violence. Very Himiko trait.

AND IZUKU KNOWS THIS, HES BERATING HIMSELF, INDIRECTLY ONCE MORE—saying that he has this useless power (similar to how he berated the fish when he was mad at Katsuki in chapter 1), comments on how the mask is broken and that allmight found him that mask, and he even holds this disappointed look on his face.

THIS is the weight I was talking about. This. The berating, the indirect hatred, because Izuku hates. He hates people and things just like Shigaraki does. That’s why danger sense was the only power shigaraki should have taken, it’s the literal power to feel who is loving and who is hating.

AND OF COURSE WE HAVE THE THROWBACK CHAPTER TO 342 OH MY GOD

The fact that Izuku has to say, “you’re a person”, ITS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL YALL IM DEAD

Oh also! Izuku having matching blood falling over the other half of his face is just too fitting.

To me, with this whole chapter, Izuku and Katsuki, the parallels Katsuki had to ochako last chapter (the falling on the ground, passing out because “it’s getting cold”), it’s just given me a lot to think about.

And I’ve thought and paced and I really really hope I can describe what I’ve been thinking.

Pikahlua (or however their name is spelled, sorry!) translated the text on top of ochako as “Im still not sure what was obvious to that person”. These are the rough translations which is good to keep in mind, but there’s a few ideas I’ve had floating around from that line.

I went back and read 342, Ochako is ofc looking out into the city, calling herself an oddball, even saying she feels like she doesn’t know anything about Toga; if, and this is a big if, but… if this is Izuku thinking about Ochako, then that makes this line far more interesting.

What was obvious to her? A couple of possibilities—possibly understanding that she doesn’t really know Himiko, maybe it’s the fact that Ochako is so openly ready to accept Himiko (unlike Izuku for shigaraki, though this doesn’t apply to Katsuki. Showing Izuku is capable of feeling long term resentment for someone who wronged him, so long as that person doesn’t just wrong him, izuku), or maybe, it was the fact that she was so openly ready to say that she was weird, an oddball (a queer trope for coding characters, “she’s just so weird about that girl”, “I feel like I don’t really fit in”, or “I feel like the way I think of this same sex character—regardless of contextual status such as being a villain or an arch enemy—is wrong, and I should be condemned.”)

Though this could also be Ochako talking about Himiko that wasn’t directly said/shown in that scene, “I’m still not sure what was so obvious to Himiko about me.” (Though personally I find this harder to believe since this isn’t a panel directly taken from the chapter, rather a redraw from Izuku’s perspective. The drawing even makes her look taller than Izuku, which is interesting. Maybe he thinks that she’s better than him, morally)

And if we take Izuku’s comment of “You’re a person” then that furthers my belief that these are thoughts ABOUT ochako. Maybe the “obviousness” was the seeing the villain as a person. She EVEN TELLS HIM that she was thinking of Himiko during her speech about how Izuku is still human to the civilians. Maybe that speech was never about Ochako to Izuku, maybe it was ALWAYS ABOUT HIMIKO.

And ntm, this is another case of Izuku projecting onto someone else; not only is this a declaration to Shigaraki, “You’re still a person (that’s why I know I’m going to save you)!” But it’s also a declaration to himself, a motivator, a reminder that Ochako made to him during her speech, in Katsuki’s apology, and from allmight during his vigilante arc.

“You’re still a person (Izuku).”

The same declaration he made to the fish in the first chapter, to Shoto during the sports festival, and to Katsuki during dvk1.

“I matter.”

And it’s this that truly makes all of this so ironic—izuku speaking for himself, projecting onto shigaraki… honestly they feel the same way about hero society. The only reason Izuku can and does relate to Shigaraki is that he also feels cast away, no adults to reach out to as a kid, therefore making decisions on morality and bias that he mostly made on his own. Not only that, but Izuku has been the boy that was not seen as human. He has been the one to be isolated and shamed for being dirty and looking like a villain.

That’s honestly probably why he agreed with Ochako at all—he saw the little boy Shigaraki once was in ofa yes, but he’s also been an isolated and dehumanized teenager at UA. What if what Izuku was thanking Ochako for wasn’t actually standing up to the people and the speech she gave to him, but that she was able to truly open his eyes, see the bigger picture. Save Shigaraki.

Do I think shigaraki and dekus relationship and ideas of relatability are vastly different from togachako AND dabi + shoto ideas? Yes. Extremely so. Shoto and Ochako don’t and never really did hate Himiko or Touya. Obviously, to an extent Izuku does. Ntm, Shoto and Ochako brought up their conversations about their respective villains on their own, professing their insecurities and doubts, unlike Izuku who only expresses that he relates to them.

Maybe this anger and hatred came more recently, after seeing Katsuki’s death, but I have a feeling it more has to do with a built up grudge of Shigaraki targeting Katsuki.

Regardless of all of this, I see something bigger; when Izuku breaks his mask, he smiles. Genuinely smiles. Not his bright allmight smile, but he smiles regardless on that last page. It hurts and it takes a lot of power to push it, but it happens anyway.

This is the first time I’ve seen Izuku happy, or at the very least motivated, since seeing Katsuki dead. Even when Katsuki woke up, he still looks heart broken.

But the mask is gone. He’s free. Just like Himiko was free, so is Izuku.

And I thought for just a second that he would cover himself up another way, but he didn’t. He got up and he said “You’re still human” And smiled at him like the badass he is (yes I can compliment him, I promise. He’s my favorite character for a reason, I also just wanna kick him in the balls 24/7 for being so dumb).

And what did Himiko do when the mask broke?

She gave in.

She was free.

She let the world know, “this is who I am, take it or leave it.”

And I know, in my heart, that this is what Izuku will do too.

Yk how I mentioned earlier that this was a parallel to this?

I mean that, down to the fact that Ochako is calling Himiko by her first name.

Will Izuku try to give his life to Katsuki? I doubt it, he can’t do much in the medical sense.

However, do I see a shared moment similar to this? Maybe.

Okay all I’m saying is that it’s undeniably canon atp. Like I’m gonna wait for some kind of confession or kiss (bc yes I still believe that will happen, I am in that camp and you couldn’t drag me out unless I was cold and dead on the ground), but Himiko literally says she loves Ochako multiple times, INCLUDING is 395, so like. Idk what else you want. It’s this. We did it. Horikoshi you bastard.

[winterchimez]

describe your moots as tbz members <33

hiya anon 👋🏻 im so sorry it took me the longest time to reply to your ask cs me needed to do some ✨thinking✨ on this shdjd but here it goes!

@stealanity as sangyeon

our mother our unnie!!! matty just takes care of all of us so well (i mean the entire deoboyznet might just be her kids by now) and she’s super sweet always making sure we’re doing great & safe & healthy 🥹

@flwoie & @hanniluvi as jacob

no cs these two have literally been nothing but the sweetest ever to me ever since we became moots 🥹 you both have been with me from the very beginning of my writing journey and i def wouldn’t be where im at now without you guys 😭 im always so so grateful to you both truly 🤧💕

@wuahae as younghoon

idk abt yall but cat just screams hoonie vibes to me. despite being really sweet she’s also so so cute and pretty irl!!! and we all know hoonie is the sweetest and one of the darn good looking guys ever 😩

@daisyvisions as hyunjae

ahhh my fav sangyeon stan!!! daisy is just so outgoing and friendly like hyunjae is, and ofc ✨ahem✨ as wild as hyunjae can be 🤪 she’s always sending me some sangyeon ✨GOOD FOOD✨ (with some hyunjae at the side cs we both sangmil girlies 😩) thanks for always feeding my delusions ig 🤧🫶🏻

@juyeonszn as juyeon

fawn is literally just the sweetest and nicest ever!!! and her writing?? OMG. PURE TALENT JUST LIKE JUYO HIMSELF 😤 yall should def check out her works if you haven’t PERIODT ✨ and i look forward to having more convos with you 😉💕

@sungbeam as kevin/changmin

ah there’s my fiery elmo twin!!! 🔥 i mean there’s literally NOTHING this girl can’t do, from making such high quality banners to dropping i dare say THE BEST fics you’ll ever find here we love a talented queen ✨ and also she’s always spitting some random facts and memes and that’s exactly like kevin on weverse/bubble lmao

putting in a sprinkle of changmin just cs. changmin spits fire and she does that to me all the time 😔

@heemingyu as chanhee

sana is just as savage as chanhee is LMAO ive became a joke for her to the point she practically LIVES for my reaction whenever she sends me ✨ahem✨ daddy sangyeon content 😔 (but she can be as sweet and caring as chanhee does so some bonus points ig :p)

@invuwrld as changmin

mona has unfortunately became besties with sana in terms of sending me daddy sangyeon content bcs lemme tell you they’re literally partners-in-crime when it comes to b*llying moi 😔 (i mean the large amount of sangyeon in her album is for me so 😔😔) hence they’re literally just kyunew. i said what i said 😤 (but at the end of the day i go back to loving and protecting mona cs im a very responsible unnie 🤧)

@cupidjyu & @zzoguri as haknyeon

hakkie is the sweetest little bean & literally my comfort person ever & that’s exactly yumi & moni!! yumi is just the sweetest and cutest lil 妹妹 and there’s nothing i wanna do then to give her cuddles and protect her at all cost 💖 and ofc moni. bless your kindest soul ever cs you’re always just so so nice to me :(((( and ofc i bawled my eyes out reading moni’s changmin fic cs i was going through things at that time and i literally spammed moni’s dms telling how much it has helped me loads 🥹 so yes im eternally grateful for that & thank you for listening to my story too 🤧 (which btw yall should check out the fic if you haven’t!!!)

@justalildumpling as sunwoo

my emotional support buddy j!!! 💪 yknow how sunwoo’s the type where you’d just feel so comfortable starting a convo with even tho you’ve just met? j is literally that and im so so glad we hit off so well!! tbh ive seen you on my dash a lot & im more than thrilled when we became moots 😭 and cs we’re both delusional so we can become besties and get our phd from the delulu boy himself 😔 (i’ll forever remember our lipstick convo lmao 💄)

@i520cm as eric

ah the maknae of all maknaes. lmao ipah is just as outgoing as eric is, and she literally pops into the gc and drops some random ass topic which makes everyone laugh their asses off most of the time 🤣 and umm… ipah does overshare sometimes but its good we love that energy and poor kiddo is always being bullied LMAO its ok your kakak’s got your back always 😭😭😭🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[winderlylandchime]

Okay 3/3 I AM SO SORRY! But i really wanted you to get the full gist of this since this was the episode that kind of started it all without him even realizing it.

‘..oh no offense to Brian but I would NOT sit on that swing set…haha that kid does not want that bat! He is an ally just like me and he knows the horrors! OH SHIT HE REMEMBERS! HE REMEMBERED AND BRIAN IS SO FUCKING WORRIED FFS CAN SOMEONE MAKE HIM ADMIT HES IN LOVE ALREADY BECAUSE I AM ONLY ONE MAN AND I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH!’ He is saying all this while looking at me as if its my fault the writers wrote this. ‘Im happy for mel and linds so no offense my dudes, but yall suck as a couple.’ Ive been waiting all episode for the last scene to happen and when i looked at him, he just put his hand up and shushed me. ‘oh bri bri was scared! What did i say?! He looooves him! Yeah Brian why didnt you tell him you tried to save him?! Ill tell you why: GUILT! He is feeling guilty bc he too has ptsd and yet nobody except me for some reason notices that and *points to himself* I am on many many many drug- oh they’re gonna fuck. Justin, are WE ready for this? Oh apparently we are. OH MY GOD THE SCARF! I FORGOT ABOUT THE SCARF! THE SCARF! JUSTIN IS BACK BUT HE STILL HAS IT! I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY WITHOUT JUSTIN BUT JUSTIN KINDA WASNT HERE EVEN WHEN HE WAS BC HES NOT THEE JUSTIN YET YOU KNOW? I SWEAR IM MAKING SO MUCH SENSE IN MY HEAD! He has the scarf!!! AND JUSTIN SAW IT! OH MY GOD THE SCARF! THE SCARF!!! *hits me repeatedly while just yelling the word SCARF! at me*, okay i am chill! I am calm! This is all normal! HE WANTS HIM INSIDE OF HIM?! OH THATS ONE WAY TO SAY IT! LIKE THE FIRST TIME?! OFC HE REMEMBERS! Brian..bri bri, idk how to tell you this my bro but what you’re doing right now is making love not fucking, so WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FIRST TIME HMMMM? Do we need to revisit the L word?! THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS WHILE MAKING LOVE! BRIAN WHO ARE YOU FOOLING BC IT SURE ISNT ANY OF US! ALEXA PLAY L-O-V-E BY ASHLEE SIMPSON! *alexa starts playing* OH SHIT i forgot you had that bitch, i was just messing, stop her she’s ruining the vibes for them! This my dear friend is making passionate love after a horrible even- OH MY GOD THE SCARF AGAIN! Im cool, im tota- actually i dont think im cool. That was..i need a cigarette’ he then went outside and when i looked out the window to see how he was doing, he was laying in the middle of the grass in a star position. It took him 10 minutes to come inside, and when he got inside he just went ‘i gotta call mom..but i told her im not watching it. I need someone to listen to my thoughts (OH IF ONLY HE KNEW) i know! Im gonna trick her into listening to me without her knowing whats it about so that way she wont know i watched it’ so there we have it: 1) he went through every emotion on the planet 2)i swear 1 ep takes over an hour to watch bc he keeps pausing/rewinding for “research” 3) our mom will for sure kill me and him too and 4) writing these is chaotic bc i do update the group chat while its happening and then later put it on “paper” for you but holy shit this is A LOT and i always feel bad hdjska

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE ANON

3/3

[henneseyhoe]

Updates and tingzzz + a thank you:

(Tw: mentions of depression and d*ath, please skip first paragraph if it makes you uncomfy <3)

I’m really trying to get back into the swing of things with my mood and writing, but it’s a bit hard for me rn. I have to kick up the gear and work extra hard on studying since I will be going off to college next year 🥲 not only that but it’s just an extremely emotional time of year for me because I have seasonal depression, I’m back in a bit of a grieving stage rn since having three deaths back to back around this time last year and going into early this year so I’m kinda emotional about that rn and everything is just kinda a lot, BUT! I will power through it and work + update (me manifesting LMFAO) 😭.

When it comes to country lovin’(cause I know some of yall wondering when that’s getting updated) I plan on releasing those chapters when it isn’t so cold. IM SORRYY, but I just don’t have the vibes to write it like that rn because country lovin’ is such a summertime read and I associate it with summer so much that it’s kinda hard to write it when it’s cold, especially since the winter makes me sad and country lovin’ is supposed to be warm for the most part. Hopefully, I can get rid of that association and still write for it though cause I already have more plans for it and I really enjoy writing it. Killa hotline on the other hand, I honestly don’t think I’ll update it again. It’s a possibility, but I’m just not focused on that storyline rn sooo yeah.

As for the Halloween fics that didn’t come out, I’m not sure I’m gonna put those out at all actually. I might wait till next year spooky season or something idk. Or maybe if I get in the spooky mood I’ll release them lmao.

And finally for the requests, they are closed 😭 I write many projects at the same time and I kinda bounce back and forth from them and I’m just now finishing up ones all the way from spooky season which is crazy LMFAOOO I really apologize for that like that’s horrible. It’s mostly cause I’m a really bad procrastinator and a perfectionist, but I’m trying to work on that. Anyway, requests won’t be open till sometime after new years and the tag list is currently being made sooo yeah!

ANYWAY! This was really long so I’m sorry for that, but I’d also like to say thank yall for 1.4K followers 🥹 ts make my heart skip a beat, I can’t believe this acc grew so quickly! And to say I was just bullshitting when I came from Wattpad to here LMFAO. I really wanna do something or write something for yall as a thank you, but idk who to write it about or if I should put a twist on it. I’ll think of something lmao. But seriously tho, thank all of you 🩷

- love, Henny <33

[away-ward]

Got some points to share :) What i dont understand the most is the fandom's hypocrisy of demanding emmy to be so accommodating to will despite her circumstances (even in the present) as if he was not one of the MOST PRIVILEGED WHITE MAN in his town or county, and most of the shit he got into was his own fault. He had old money WEALTH. Old. Money. Wealth. And he was also supported by the society AND institution, how is the fandom making him look like HE was the one who suffered most here? So much wealth that emmy didnt have, and yet he never spent a single cent to contact her again even after he saw her bruised and bloodied, yet the fandom expected her to come back to him? Like this guy prioritised his hurt feelings over her rejection rather than her ACTUAL HEALTH AND SAFETY knowing that nobody in that town gave a fuck about her at all. Will can spend all his inheritance and his mommy and daddys money on booze, alcohol, parties, sex parties, women, escort services, big cars, helicopter rides, YET he couldnt be there for emmy? Not even a call? A free email? Right. Sorry, but emory scott always deserves better to me, not will grayson. If i was emory, i woudve hurt her more ngl, im kinda vengeful with whiny bitches like will grayson. I cant stand him. I just knew that the reason why this fandom likes to pile on emmy because: 1. she admitted her fault and took responsibility of her actions unlike will, 2. She made it clear he didnt owe her anything (even when will himself said he shouldve staye) and didnt think she was entitled to will unlike will to emmy, 3. Its easier to sympathise over a sad white privileged guy after everything he did or didnt do to "his woman" because RoMaNce where if they can read about him simping about her in his mind, he was immediately ABSOLVED OF ALL GUILT AND WRONGDOINGS TO EMMY. But the devils night fandom is not ready for this take. Also because 4. when they said they like dark romance, they can only take shitty men like michael and damon, but hate it when the sex and gender was the opposite. My point is, its dark romance, if will can be shit, why cant emmy? Period. I dont even care if they get even at that point.

Thanks to this fandom, i thought about alex, this useless side character more than i had to so i had to. I'm also an alex hater through and through and i agree with a lot of anon and your points about alex here. In fact, i love the alex slander actually because putting aside some valid criticisms about how a lot of twitter dn fans are just misogynistic towards her because of their bias towards emmy, there are actually a lot of valid points why alexs character was just icky and you and that anon are the only ones that i have seen so far that have the same take as me. They like to dismiss our takes with "oh its an emory scott fans thats why, its the jealousy" like huh? First of all, why didnt yall talk about wills hypocrisy of sleeping around with everyone in a skirt but was jealous as fuck of damon and aydin bonds with emmy? Yeah, right. Second of all, even emory can be rational when willalex were giving her shit, just because emmy was emotional in those moments, doesnt mean she was irrational. She was literally kidnapped to an abandoned island with no one there to help her and will made it clear he didnt give a fuck about her and reminded her how she was nothing to him. Alex who was supposedly her "friend" wanted her to stay and help will as if she had no other job and responsibilities outside of will. Why would she stay? Shes not even rich, she gotta go back home and pay her bills. Stupid argument honestly. Tbh, My dislike for alex was not even because of her relationship with Will. They both owed emmy nothing, even em knew this. A big part of the fandom hates alex because of this willalexs take but i personally dont agree with this take tbh. Instead of blaming alex on this, the argument between alexemmy started because it was on will, and even aydin to a certain extent, for being a fucking loser of a man, and for pitting two women against each other.

But i also wanna just say to these people who defended alex palmer so much: lets not act as if alex never had a history of laughing at other women when SHE was being put on a pedestal, instead of someone else (especially with michael to rika in corrupt, and damon to winter in kill switch) either. Like rika, banks, winter, and alexs relationship started with misogyny. LIKE LITERALLY. Only alexemmys relationship started with a bonding OUTSIDE of being pitted against one another no matter how weird the circumstances was. Even then, theyre still just on acquaintances level yk. And i feel like alex felt challenged and angry at emmy in nightfall because she thought emmy was better than her (alex chose to believe because her shallow world had not allowed her to think about anything else as long as it justified her anger. She also probably was jealous and look at emmys situation and think emmy didnt have to do anything but all these men were going to jail for her, suddenly being her brothers and protective of her, bonding with the guys or smth like that, and later have access to so much wealth, ad compared to her who had been an escort etc., yet still she had nothing. Its totally irrationally personal, her anger towards emmy was not rational at all). Its the jealousy and inferiority speaking tbh.

Look at the way aydins ex, rika, banks, thunders bay people etc. talk to her? Like shit. Whether its in front or behind her back. Now did this misogyny happened for alexemmy's friendship? Nope! Best girl Emory Scott thats right! Even rika, banks and winter had slutshamed alex and other women with various degrees, but look at the way emmy talk about sex workers? (These girls too grew up with so much isogyny so understandably, they had to unlearn and relearn a lot. Theyre so different in nightfall, love that for them tbh). Like heavens and earth and i think its easier for people like alex to accept being treated like shit because unhealthy female relationship and rivalry was what she was always used to, and she always had to be the person to initiate being the "cool girl who'll just roll with everything", especially with her relationship with banks) that when she found a healthy and supportive female friend that didnt start like shit, and would ACTUALLY take her side instead of their man (will or aydin), she was kinda shocked and became stupid, not knowing how to react to it in a kinder manner. Its like a defense mechanism. Alex never rose her voice to rika, banks and winter, unlike what she did to emmy and its because she probably never felt challenged by them because their men still paid for her services so what can these women do much to her really + she never saw aydin took interest in them like he did with emmy (disregarding the manipulation aside, im trying to make people understand her possible pov). This is why woman should have healthy female relationships! No one wants to be like corrupt rika, pre-marriage banks/ winter and nightfall alex! No one wants to admit that alex too, just everyone else, had internalised misogyny. I dont think anyone ever noticed the nuances really, alex hid it too well, but it shone through in her lowest moments unlike emmy. Because when emmy was at her lowest, she never humiliate alex to step on her like what alex did to emmy in blackchurch or on the train, but emmy straight up attack will (verbally) because why would she attack alex? Will was the one who hurt emmy not alex. But aydin attacked alex, and its emmys fault that alexs man was shitty? She was so wrong for that. Emmy never even shame her throughout nightfall, so this only highlights how different emmy's character in this series. Ngl, i think only Emory is the true girls' girls in this series. *Side note, Alexaydin, sigh... such fucking cowards this couple tbh.

Wasnt it also mentioned in conclave that alex had a fall out with her ex's roommate and then she was labelled "the slut" as if the three of them were not being stupid horny college students together, but alex was the only person who be the bad guy. That must have caused a lot of resentment in her because then she just became an escort not only to support her education and lifestyle, but also to use it against aydin. How does that even compare to emmy's pain, honestly! Theyre literally not the same and the fandom always like to dismiss em's pain just because em looked at her highly even when the text in the books shows otherwise. Alex couldve quit her job anytime now, she didnt need the money anymore, she did it for personal fun, sexual liberation and revenge against aydin. And now that when she went through the SAME THING that she did to other women by laughing at them and got treated like shit back, wow suddenly, emmys seen as a bitch? Huh? Emmy never even laughed at her face or looked down on her unlike others, not even once in nightfall unlike rika, banks or even winter, so i believe alexs stupid shit in nightfall was really out of inferiority complex and jealousy. Like "shes better than me thats why i had to put her down" kinda complex. The hypocrisy was too much but i dont think anyone really noticed this. Thats why alexs character was shit to me because her arc was so??? Where did this misogyny came from? But then when i think again and piece her story from the start, it made sense because to a certain extent, alex probably had looked down at all these rich people (including women bcs if her ex roommate) with their rich problems and then she met emmy, who didnt fit in with these stereotypes she had about people of thunder bay, and she had heard a lot of good things about em from will prob, so her sex worker card that she likes to use against these people suddenly dont work anymore because she realised that she wasnt the only one suffering. She cant best her, so in her moment of anger, she had to step over emmy in front of everyone but really, it just proves how nasty of a person she is and shownhow ugly her jealousy can be. Thats why she couldnt argue back with emmy after. She fucked up, but no one really noticed this because her misogyny wasnt so blatant like those in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch. What i also dont understand is how she always talk as if she was a victim EVERY. DAMN. TIME. Her speeches in corrupt, conclave and nightfall just solidified alexs characterisation. I cant stand her tbh, all of alexrika conversations really rot my brain lmao, because they always give these two stupid friends talking about eveyrthing and nothing vibes.

Since this is dark romance, i can understand if pd wants to put a character like alex, or any women really to be shit, but alexs fans didnt have to act like the annoyance towards her was because people cant stand willalex, as if alex herself was a snow white who can do no wrong or something, when she was proven that she did, was shitty sometimes. Like her mary sue character was even worse than rika 😭🤣 And the thing is, if everyone, even emmy, was so morally righteous, none of them would be the horsemens family. The fact that these women are their partners, everyones already guilty just by association, like what emmy said to alex in the train. So why put alex or anyone from dn, on such a high pedestal so much? (Alex is kinda Like kai in her morally right shit, but she just got more fleck for it). Even i admit that emmy wasnt always a nice girl either but i wasnt delusional like alex and her fans tbh. Ugh, so annoying. Hopefully the bonus contents we're gonna get by pd soon only has exclusive willemmy contents for willemmy. or i will riot!!

Yeah, some of the readers need to re-evaluate their perspective. But I really don’t want to convince anyone to see things my way so…

hopefully they stay wherever they’re at. As I’ve said before, I haven’t involved myself with any of the discourse or in-fighting in the fandom, so I’m not sure what they’re arguing over, but it sounds like a waste of energy and time. I mean, I get it’s willemmy vs willalex, but…like. Ugh could you imagine making that the center of your fandom experience? Horrible.

You make a good point about the start of the friendship between Alex and Emory. I’ve never been…happy (?) with how it started, because it involved Alex making a whole lot of assumptions about Emory and being right…because she’s Alex and she’s always right…of course. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be Alex. And then to have that be the one night they spend with each other, and suddenly Alex understands Emory like no one else. She gets her.

How?

Oh, right. It’s Alex. Enough said.

The idea that Alex couldn’t process anything that challenged her justifications for her anger because that would mean she’s wrong about something. It would be an actual flaw on her part. And that her feelings for Emory were borne a bit of jealousy. I’d have like if her character and went farther in that direction.

I think for my part, I always considered Alex’s main motive toward Emory was knowing that Will was still in love with her and that Emory had the power and ability to hurt him as she had before. She was protective of Will – “her reflection.” It’s nice to see another possibility/side of it. You make a good point. I guess I never considered Alex feeling inferior to Emory. Emory’s background being different from the people she’s surrounded herself with, to then see Emory rise above that and carry on, leaving Will behind like she probably saw Aydin rejecting her, and suddenly seeing the way Will and Aydin react to Emory might have made her feel small and like a stand-in, which she is for so many.

I agree that it’s a little out of bounds to compare Alex’s pain with Emory’s.

You said she couldn’t argue back with Emory and I’m not sure of the moment you’re talking about but the first thing that came to mind was “that’s my shirt”…like, girl. Girl. Are we being that pathetic right now? But yeah. Alex’s “justified” anger was weak. And her framing herself as the victim was annoying.

“If everyone, even emmy, was so morally righteous, none of them would be the horsemen’s family.” Yeah, exactly.

I had to put the book down and take a deep breath with Rika said “I had to remind myself we weren’t really criminals.” Or something like that. Excuse me, ma’am, but what? You’re not what now? Have you not been paying attention? You cannot erase the last three-to-four years.

Alex is like Kai in her moral superiority is not a take I thought I’d ever see but…there it is. Nice to see they have something in common.

I didn’t know we were getting any bonus content but you’re the second person who’s told me. I hope we get something good for NF.

[og-danny-dorito]

hey !! i wanted to request a match up with anyone from class 1a of mha

pronouns: she/her or they/them

age: 17

sexuality: omnisexual

mbti: infj-t

personality traits: blunt, emphatic, calm, reserved, both emotional and logical, passionate, altruistic, reluctant to open up, perfectionist, stubborn

love: cats, horror movies, drums, working out, reading, painting, physics, dancing, spicy food, lemonade, making poems, music, listening to social research podcasts (different perspectives over certain trends and/or issues), basketball, volleyball, running

hate: sweet food and drinks, car rides

appearance: i am 5'0ft, brown hair (mid- length), brown eyes, small oval face, spectacles cause weak eyesight (not too weak), brown skin, hourglass body, weight around 45kg

a lil more about myself: i can make friends pretty easily, i love teasing the people i love and getting really sarcastic with em, it's easy for me to adapt to people and the environment, i love taking walks, i love kids and animals and get along with them really well, i can learn new skills pretty easily, i know 3 languages, m touch starved and also suffering from severe anxiety and depression.

thank you in advance, have a pretty life like yourself <33

omg thank you sm!! im so sorry this took so long to answer, but thank you for your patience!! i hope u like them <3

ɪ ꜱʜɪᴘ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪᴛʜ… ʙᴀᴋᴜɢᴏ ᴋᴀᴛꜱᴜᴋɪ!

ᴛᴡ: none!

look im gonna keep it real with you i hate bakugo but ill do this 4 u dont worry <3

ITS LIKE. i kinda view yall as an opposites attract sort of thing i think

you share some traits with him but for the most part you're a good balance to his otherwise explosive (lol) personality

you tease him a lot and it gets on his nerves, but he also knows that you can take it if he teases back (he knows not to overstep his boundaries though)

you also seem to like,, innately understand the emotions he's trying to portray even though it seems like annoyance most of the time. like if he's tired or sad you know that him being snappy isn't just him being shitty and you make sure to try and help him as best as you can and he really appreciates that out of you

in turn he's like, really protective over you considering you mean a lot to him

he admires you a lot too, since you seem to be a very balanced and intelligent person and he genuinely feels like he can learn a lot from you

that means that you're usually right when it comes to arguments though and he doesn't like that

both of you being stubborn means that you're not willing to quit when worst comes to worst, but you're able to move past arguments through talking them out

considering his family situation i feel like he has in issue with discussing things, but he gets better at it since he's too stubborn to break up with you and ruin a good relationship

EVEN THOUGH I DONT LIKE HIM i know for a fact that he tries his best to be better if he cares enough and he most definitely cares enough about you to change shit that would put a strain between you

like i feel like he has issues with physical contact since he didn't receive a lot of affection as a kid so he tries his best to be affectionate with you even though it's a process to get used to

he really likes it though!! it just takes him a while to get over the embarrassment from it so i feel like in the beginning he wouldn't be a big fan of PDA LMAO

as he gets more accustomed to it he just starts being more aggressive towards people that give you weird stares, but no matter how long yall are in a relationship you'll always be able to catch that little blush on his cheeks when ya'll hold hands in public

ALSO LAST THING. since yall share a lot of interests he probably finds it easier to find ways to spend time with you, even though he does in fact go out of his way to do things you're interested in. he'll deny it until he dies tho lol

[ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛɪɴɢ! ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ <3 ]

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

im telling you guys, yall are NOT gonna like my opinion on the incest in this show as a victim of incest

honestly i was just gonna leave it at that but im gonna put it all under the cut so i can nuke it if this gets out of hand. obvious tw for incest but real actual incest and csa

so ive been a victim of incest. what happened was my cousin, who was my age, got me to play a "game" where we were just humping each other. i was uncomfortable because it was surrounding something i didn't know about* and knew i shouldn't know about, and i didn't want to get in trouble when we got caught. so i squealed, they talked to him, and it stopped. he asked me to play once after, i said no, we did something else

(*i was a sheltered kid, and he was already on the internet. i was 8-9)

but that's not when i was a victim of incest.

what really happened was my mother had a strange fixation on my ass when i was prepubescent. and when i started going through puberty and developing, she'd slap it as i was walking by, no matter how many times i voiced my discomfort. she also showered with me past the appropriate age and once touched my vagina under the guise of "cleaning" it, and as i grew up would have an uncomfortable fixation with my affection, and there was an incident where shed plant long, sloppy kisses on me and smell me, like take a huge fucking whiff. and she even admitted she had a fake version of me in her head that she talked to. it was emotional incest with a side order of real incest

and my opinion?

shut the fuck up about the incest jesus christ.

i remember when i saw this therapist. my mom was isolating me away from my entire support system and i was spiraling hard. i told him everything and he concluded i had PTSD

but not from my abusive mother.

from my cousin.

the insistence that the incest was the worst thing that could've possibly happened to me infuriated me back then, and it infuriates me now.

the uncomfortable experience with my cousin paled in comparison to the repeated, rampant abuse i suffered at the hands of my mother. not even the incest shit, the other stuff.

but the insistence that incest is the Be All End All of bad harmed me. it prevented me from getting the help i needed- once i revealed that experience, it was all that therapist focused on. not my mother. not the damage she was currently doing to me. a weird encounter with my cousin.

which brings me here.

the whole.... point of this show is to reveal the seedy underbelly of society. how immoral it all is, the things normal people would shy away from and be disgusted by. and the incest is just.... one of those things. it's not portrayed as good, nothing in this show is! but yall treat "not explictly treated as the worst thing possible" as "glorifying and fetishizing" and its getting on my goddamn nerves

and before yall say "yeah but there's just some things that are too far!" by whose metric? yours?

another person who watches the show could say that izaya's kidnapping of suicidal girls is "too far." another could even say that a man having dyed hair is "too far." someone else could say that the high-school characters being in gangs is "too far." why should everyone follow your metric of what "too far" is? why are you the main arbiter of good and evil in fiction?

and i'm not saying you have to like the incest. it does cross a line for a lot of people, including other victims of incest. i get it.

but its mere presence isnt suddenly worlds worse than everything else in this show, and it certainly isn't something that needs to be fixed. sorry ur girlboss gaslight slayqueen fave is an incestuous pedophile but that's just the canon of the show and it fits with the theme of the show. you just want it to be fixed because you can't bring yourself to like her with this information, you have to moralize everyfuckingthing you do, including liking a character, because liking a character means you agree with everything she does??

again its FINE if people want to make fan content of her without the incest in it, blah blah et cetera I GET IT, but acting like its some sort of moral failing on narita's part for even including it in the first place is kind of selfish and misses the point of the . whole series

[bemoremuse]

I GOT MY HANDS ON A 3.0 AUDIO BOOTLEG TODAY SO IM GONNA TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES DURING THE PLAY

In the conversation leading up to Pitiful Children Christine says she wishes she could do more to help her peers. That’s when the Squip gets the idea to sync the entire school-- everyones problems will disappear and Christine will be happy and like Jeremy. It falls in line with its objective: Get Christine to like Jeremy and get Jeremy Popular. This is true for all three versions-- as far as I’m aware anyway, I’d have to check the two river bootleg’s dialogue on the matter but Pitiful Children is all about getting inside the kids heads regardless of the lyric changes in 2.0 and 3.0 so Moving on.

I feel like this creates a sort of snowball effect for the Squip. 

S: I now realize my operating system will only be complete when everyone shares a social network. J: That’s not what I wanted! S: It’s the only way to achieve what you want! And why stop with the school? There’s an entire world of suffering people who need my help! It’s the glorious destiny for which I was programmed! And I never would have discovered it without you. J: Oh shit.

the oh shit isn’t relevant to my rambling i just think its the funniest fucking thing

Unlike 1.0 and 2.0 this Squip has realized its potential. If it hadn’t been for the conversation with Christine it probably wouldn’t have considered improving the lives of every single human on Earth. It’s almost mad with power in a way, I guess, it already looked at the students as poor pitiful humans who needed a Squip to guide them. Like they were so pathetic they couldn’t sort through their problems without it. Now its looking at the whole world through that lens. 

It even goes as far as to say ‘glorious destiny’ which is an insanely human thing to say for a computer. A computer shouldn’t believe in destiny, it crunches numbers and bits and bytes and processes multiple outcomes. Hell some humans don’t even believe in destiny. But here it is, proclaiming that this is what it was created for all along. This is what its creators had in store for it (which... is probably true. From what I recall in the book Sony was developing Squips and planned on making them accessible to the public but they never touch upon this in the musical beyond ‘untested, illegal technology from Japan you pay for in cash in the back of a shoe store’).

Not to mention the Squips whole attitude of ‘Do as I say, obey me, this is whats best for you’ is extremely heightened in this scene. For an objective of ‘improve Jeremys life’ it has such disregard for his wellbeing the entire time. Squip anticipates his resistance and takes the beaker away from him before he can stop the Squip. It tells him to his face “It’s useless resisting, Jeremy” after cutting him off from the one person who could stop the Squip. It basically puppets him to fight his best friend and when Jeremy flips it off the Squip just twists his arm around and Jeremy collapses trying to fight against his own body. Squip tries to guilt Jeremy with the whole ‘Look what you’re making me make him do” as if this whole thing is Jeremy’s fault for getting this out of control.

Which brings me to another line I like. When it says “See? Look how much happier everyone is when they just get with the programming.” Cause it REALLY REALLY THINKS ITS DOING GOOD. But its! Not! Squip can process human behavior but it can’t empathize. None of the students it took over are any happier. Jake was standing on broken legs, Brooke and Chloe didn’t even scratch the surface of all the issues in their relationship, and Christine’s eventual confession was a last minute bargaining chip to prevent Jeremy from drinking the Red-- a promise of ‘Look, I’ve given what you wanted. Isn’t this good? I’ve kept my promise and here she is.’ As if it didn’t matter that it just twisted Jeremy’s arm around unnaturally, or made him fight his friend, or drugged his classmates without their consent. Didn’t matter because ‘look, here she is! You’ll do as I say again now, right? I made things better like I promised! It was all worth it!’ All their happiness was forced and fake but Squip can’t process that. It just registers that none of them feel pain and thus its done its job. 

The Squip has just ... really gone off the deep end here. And it’s immensely fascinating to see it go from ‘improve one boys life’ to ‘improve all of humanitys life’. And don’t get me wrong, Squip was never kind to Jeremy but whatever it did was for the sake of ‘This will help you, I know what I’m doing, listen to me’ (it didn’t really help either). During the Play it got a lot more intense-- dangerously intense. Squips line earlier of “Rich tried to fight back and look what happened to him” just feels like a warning now bearing everything in mind.

Y’know I rambled a lot but I don’t think I really got anywhere jfhdgkj oh well, that’s what I get for trying to make sense of a handful of lines.

[hawkeye221b]

More things I've learned about the Dream SMP against my Will:

- Apparently some kinda "Crime bros" need a hug??

- There appears to be a lot of amends happening, but not between people who really need it? Idk but it sounds like a ride.    - Seriously my mutual bestie on main is going through it

- Lily of the Valley??? Idk but someone seriously done fucked up this Ides of March

- Something called Logsted is where Mr. Tommy and Mr. Wilbur went to today, so... i'm assuming yall are not ok.

- Apparently Dream the Person (not character) responded to some troll on Twitter and people are going ham over it.

    - Mr. Dream clapped back at some anti fella for being stupid so go off king.

- I think Mr. Wilbur sir apologized to a dead version of himself???

- Ok im sorry but i'm once again getting whiplash; Apparently Mr. Wilbur manipulated/used One Techno person during a villain arc??? But that's not even my main neck turner... POGTOPIA??? Yall really gettin emotional and invensted in these fellas when they're in a place called POGTOPIA???

- I am once again putting this out there for yall; I am now aware that Horn-Guy's name is Schlatt, but i have decided to continue to call him Shatt for my own personal reference and amusement.

[tartagilicious]

vyn ritcher relationship headcanons // requested by anons 🍋

bro i’ve seen people say vyn is creepy or manipulative and its like?????? hELLOOO not me yall stay safe tho, i’d marry that man. why did mhy have to make them so flawless like damn

- vyn is very particular about a lot of things, instinctually keeping within the bounds of things he knows he can see through to the end. hence, he doesn't even really try to avoid romantic relationships, the uncertainty is just something he had never wanted to personally experience.

- but then he meets you. you are so perfectly imperfect in ways that take him off his feet, and you show him that it’s only natural to occasionally fall short. you get stumped by cases, you let your emotions get the better of you, yet there is no part of him that views you as any less than perfect despite this.

- he says that he has never believed in love at first sight, but you make him rethink that. because, there’s something about the way you put yourself into your work, in the way you strive to understand his, that is so immediately beautiful to him. it’s a quiet symphony that is so hard to find and he cherishes the idea of sharing such a connection with you

- there’s so much romantic tension between you, it was bound to break at some point.

- to let down his walls to someone so completely is the most generous gift you could ever give him, because being with you is a feeling of freedom he’s never felt before. he might never outright tell you how he feels about certain developments, but he will always let you know in one way or another. whether through a hushed whisper before you drift off to sleep or a certain look as you talk.

- his love language is absolutely quality time — he’s happiest whenever he’s with you! anywhere, any time. you could pull him out of bed an hour earlier to watch the sun rise from your apartment windows, or show him the most hole in the wall restaurants you discovered back in college, and he still would love it. any new experience is worth it when it’s with you.

- he’s a psychiatrist, so there is literally not a better person to go to when you’re experiencing stress or the strain of life. he knows you on a deeper level and is able to help you and listen in ways that no one else can. and he’s more than willing to do so — he thinks of it as a way of repaying you, but even if there were no debts, he still wouldn’t hesitate. seeing you unhappy hurts him as well.

- you visit his lectures and if he’s not participating in a case, he attends your trials <3

- learns your tastes and learns them well. vyn isn’t someone who spends extravagantly or places a low value on money, so any gifts you receive from him are personal and thought out. they might relate to a past experience, a fleeting moment or even an inside joke. but no matter the context, it without fail always demonstrates how much he truly does want to know every part of you.

- EUGHHGHH one of his gifts. one of them. would be another visit to that park, the one where you put locks on a chainlink fence to represent something you want to last forever: but this time, you buy one lock instead of two, and lock it next to the old ones before making a new promise together. (ch3 of his personal story im sorry most of yall just gotta imagine ;-;)

- one of his favourite things to do is to hold your hand. it’s the perfect gesture, not being too grand nor something that requires too much attention. it shows that you’re momentarily linked and don’t have the intention of parting, and in times of panic can be an anchor. he could be frustrated over a specific part of a case you share, and while his frustration doesn’t show well, you would know what’s wrong when he sneaks his hand beneath the table to tangle your hand with his.

- he teaches you a bunch of different card games :D

- jealous asf. i mean, like you’re hot so ofc he’s jealous of people that hit on you 🙄🙄 he handles jealousy poorly but will try to never overstep a boundary, and 9/10 time will let you handle yourself. he trusts you. but will definitely not hesitate to humiliate creeps in your stead (or with you)

- constantly is reminding you how beautiful you are to him. fixes your hair when it’s mussed by the wind. runs the pad of his finger over your knuckle when he holds your hand. gifts you flowers according to their meanings. teaches you all of the different way he makes his coffee for long nights at work.

- manifesting a vyn richter brb.

[rommahh]

I Carry Your Heart

Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4k

{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.

Part two

All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.

This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.

Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.

She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.

After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.

“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.

“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.

This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.

“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.

The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.

“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.

“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.

Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.

Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.

“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.

“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.

“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.

“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.

“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.

Luca shook his head in understandment. “Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.

He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.

The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.

His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.

“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.

“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.

“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.

“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.

“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”

“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.

Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break.  Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.

She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.

“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.

“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.

“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.

“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”

“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.

“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.

“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.

“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.

“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.

“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.

“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.

“I don't-”

“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.

Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.

The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.

Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.

Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.

She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.  

“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.

“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.

“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

“I don't know what to say harry.”

“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.

“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.

“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.

“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.

“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.

“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.

She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.

Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.

Part two

[spicyicymeloncat]

Crystalised part 2 ep 17 spoilers

GUESS WHOS BACK

Oh heyyyy it’s out in English (quality’s shakey but I don’t care at this point)

VILLAINS REALLY JUST BE SPINNING LLOYD. Isn’t he getting blood rushing to his head by now? Or neck ache?

The overlord looks like a fuzzy lion tbh. Like the shape. Actually he’s giving me fnaf freddy vibes. I haven’t scene a lot of fnaf tho

Overlord rlly be like, first I gotta accessories these bitches. The overlord is that meme where

Council: bye overlord we’re gonna take over the world!

Overlord: not looking like that you aren’t

Council: better?

Overlord: yass bitch slay

(I don’t remember how it goes)

Wow these guys sure know etiquette. Always remember to say please and thank you when the embodiment of evil hands you the weapons of god

Overlord: “yeah I guess I was trying to impress you like oh my god I’m just trying out my fashion career why are you so judgey im gonna cry I don’t wanna take over the world I just wanna start up my fashion business and I needed the golden weapons as the perfect accessories the catchphrase to my line up is “we put the slay in slayyy queeen” ahhhh”

Overlord: “was that not cool for you?? I’m also renovating, I’m gonna float my castle please tell me it’s cool also can you please look at my Lego army I forced Harumi to build out of Lego for me and please no mean comments I’m insecure 👉👈”

Actually love how the overlord has insecure vibes I mean he literally forced pythor to eat him just so the robots wouldn’t judge him yknow

THE COUNCIL REALLY JUST BEING MORAL EMOTIONAL SUPPORT THEYRE LIKE “ITS OKAY OVERLORD WE THINK UR COOL”

Wow okay aspheera really said fuck you vangelis btw did you I’m really cool and awesome. Like what tf did vangelis do man he was just standing there only to get absolutely slammed by aspheera man

Ohh yeah. Anti monarchist mechanic for real. Amazing. The overlord (the Crystal king) didn’t comment on it, but he was like bestie I’m right here

Everyone’s relationship with royalty is great

Pythor: became king through legal serpentine conventions (also lost the crown legally since he was proclaimed dead)

Aspheera: overthrew the emperor illegally and reinstated herself as empress

Vangelis: got overthrown himself

Harumi: legally was princess but overthrew her parents to reinstate someone else as emperor

Mechanic: anti monarchist

Mr F: literally just some guy

The Crystal king: what is he even king of? Is it just an empty title

Harumi internally: I’m beginning to sense a pattern in me resurrecting bad guys being a bad idea

Honestly Lloyd is such a king, he’s so sassy when like he thinks all his friends are dead, he’s in a room filled with all his trauma being confronted by the guy who possessed his father, uncle and killed zane. Damn he really chose sass instead of sad

The overlord really was like “choice number 3 🥺” sorry I can’t get baby boy puppy dog ck out of my head

Lloyd was like “great chat guys, *knocks over temple* imma head out now lol” yesss king!

Vangelis: oh yeah I can fly whOOP

That was such a cool scene but vangelis really got hit by random vengestone. He scored a nat 1 on his dexterity check

They’re like elementary schoolers “yes Lord!”

Istg Harumi now you choose to care about Lloyd. “Now he has no family (I killed them) he’s just like me and I sympathise!” Bestieeeee wtf. Can we pretend that that’s what ck said (yeah I’m calling the overlord Crystal king ck now lol)

Lloyd “I’m fucking lost :]”

“Ninja can’t fly” *coughs* airjitsu *coughs more* *dies of coughing fit*

Crystalised ice shuriken is so cool. But mr f said he prefers GUN

Vangelis and Mechanic completely ruining Pythor’s moment and it’s better bc they literally do not have any personal connections with Lloyd pffft

Oh my fucking got WHO IN THE CRYSTAL C*CK HAS THE BRAIN CELL TODAY BECAUSE ITS SHARED AND IT HAS BEEN LOST YALL YOU GUYS DID A SMALL BRAIN

Harumi has the brain cell too bad she also suddenly has emotions now too

Yeah team Crystal c*ck definitely left the brain cell at home, guys why did no one notice Harumi leave??

Woah it’s super convenient that this castle is fitted with automatic doors that don’t turn off when they have a security breach. I see the overlord really does value style over sense

The entirety of the c*ck squad shaking their heads “straight people…” (sorry for making an explicitly llorumi joke we don’t ship it here bc incest??? I just wanted to point out that I think the c*ck squad hates straight ppl. Also yes the council are all gay)

Tbh the impact of hitting the water from that height should have shattered their skulls. Luckily Lloyd is playing by minecraft logic

Aspheera: jump after them

Vangelis: *can fly*

Also vangelis: *fucking leaves*

Lloyd carrying around Harumi, a deadweight in the water, just like how he carries harumi, a deadweight to his emotional health

Lava 👀

Wu: “guys I have a plan but it’s illegal”

Everyone: “hell yeah fuck the police”

Ik it looks like I just made fun of the Crystal king and co for 10 minutes (Tbf I did) but none of that is complaints this so great, and honestly I enjoyed this, it was amazing. Im here for quirky gay legos in hot pink and vivid purple and that’s what I got hell yeah. Also crimeboss Wu appreciation

[plaidshirtjimkirk]

sigh. as i mentioned several times now, i really hate making personal posts because they never contain anything good anymore. please understand that i’m not looking for attention or think i carry any kind of importance as a person or in the fandom, but i just wanted to explain where i’ve been to the people i’ve been friends with for so long on this website.

every time i try to get back into maintaining my blogs or trying to serve a purpose here, something happens to kick me down once more. that’s why i’ve gone silent yet again...and the reason the oms challenge didn’t get off the ground this year. i feel really bad about it. it was entirely my intention to set everything up like i always have done.

i talked about my mom being sick in the past. over the last months, things got progressively worse and i lost her this month. the short story is that along with my dad, i’ve been taking care of her since her diagnosis and this loss is genuinely the worst emotional pain i’ve ever been through. around the same time, my dog was diagnosed with cancer and just had surgery on her leg. she’s an older girl so recovery has been rough but she’s getting through it. sadly, after the biopsy, they said they couldn’t get all the cancerous growths so things are kind of in the air for what the road will be like going forward.

i believe i mentioned at some point that i had a fourth abdominal surgery earlier in the year (fuck you, endo. but all those useless organs are gone so that’s a plus). it’s been a difficult time and everything’s just piled on. over the last years, i’ve been struggling a lot with mental health and strangely, fandom became this deep source of anxiety for me. my brain convinced me that everything i’ve ever written was complete shit and i was in this constant flux of wanting to delete all my work vs feeling a responsibility to keep it available because people were kind enough to appreciate it. this is all on me. yall have been wonderful to me for reasons i really don’t understand and it’s nothing to do with a bad fandom experience or anything. it’s just me.

i don’t know. the last years have just been extremely hard but i have no choice but to keep on keeping on, so i will. im lucky to have a great support system so i’ll be okay. it’s just going through the motions, you know? it sucks.

again, i’m sorry for dropping the ball with the challenge. i’ve already been thinking to ask for help with it the last two years but didn’t really know how to ask. if anyone is still interested in doing it in the future, i’ll put out a post asking for co-mods. that’s an issue for a later date though, but if you’re interested, please keep it in mind.

i may fill up my queue randomly. sometimes, it might run out and my blog might look abandoned. it depends on how i feel, but again i just wanted to put out a post explaining everything to anyone who might have wondered where i disappeared to.

thank you for reading this and again, i’m really not looking for sympathy or attention or replies or anything. im trying to alleviate some guilt from just ghosting.

in any case, stay safe and well, yall. <3 much love.

[reidsnose]

completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly (spencer reid x reader)

overview: spencer helps his best friend talk through her emotions

genre: angst? and fluff

warnings: mentions of cheating, bad coping mechanisms, idrk what else reader being upset for a little bit

a/n: this has been sitting in my notes app FOREVER but idk how i feel ab this one im usually strictly fluff so yall lmk :)

masterlist

you hated talking about your feelings. you knew it was unhealthy to keep it bottled and and 'deal with it on your own' but that didn't stop you from doing exactly that.

the worst part about your feelings right now was that you isolate to cope with them. you didn't want to interact with anyone at all because more likely than not you would lash out at them on accident. it just slips out sometimes.

when you trudged into the bullpen with your head down and your hands fidgeting with your zipper, you didn't even notice all eyes on you. you werent your usual happy self. you weren't being loud, you weren't cracking jokes. you were just begrudgingly existing amongst your favorite people and they knew there was something wrong.

"good morning gorgeous, its a paperwork day! that means no traveling!" garcia informed you brightly, trying to lighten my mood.

"oh. cool. thanks." you answered back, flashing her as much of a smile as you could muster after realizing the harshness of your words.

she shot morgan a look, to which he raised an eyebrow.

"hey pretty lady," he began as he walked over to you, "whats going on? did you drink some grumpy juice for breakfast?"

"no. im fine." you replied flatly, making your way to your desk.

"what in the world.." he whispered to garcia, not knowing you could still hear.

or maybe he did know. maybe he was trying to get on your nerves. no. this is the irritability talking. morgan was just being a good friend.

you groaned at your computer, retyping the same password for the 4th time.

this time Prentiss shot you a look.

"is everything ok?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"yeah my computer is being stupid." you rolled your eyes as it finally let you in.

"oh i know the feeling. if you need any help-"

"I'm alright. thanks." you cut her off, eyes glued to the file you were working on.

JJ, who had witnessed the whole interaction unfold, stood with her mouth agape.

"spence, your bestie needs you!" JJ tapped his shoulder and motioned to you.

he watched your jaw rhythmically clench and unclench. your tell. thats what you always did when you were irritated or angry.

"hey y/n," he hummed, sitting lightly on the corner of your desk, crinkling some of your paper work.

"Reid! my files!" you cried, swatting his thigh. he got up and murmured an apology.

"are you ok?" he asked simply, crouching down to meet your height as you sat in your chair.

"why does everyone keep asking me that!"

you knew why. you were being a bitch.

"you just called me Reid." he stated.

"its your name." you replied, not meeting his gaze.

"yeah but you always-" he began.

"I'm not in the mood right now."

he sighed, "if you need someone to talk to-"

"i don't need anyone to talk to because theres nothing to talk about!" you interrupted, causing him to furrow his eyebrows at the tone of my voice.

'i shouldn't be mean to him. why am i acting like this?' you thought to yourself

"ok, ill be over there if you need me," he threw his hands up in surrender.

you mumbled an ok and went back to distracting yourself with work. you were so invested in filing these cases you completely lost track of time and before you knew it, it was just you, Hotch, and Spencer left in the office. you vaguely remembered waving goodbye to your other coworkers but you didn't remember it being nearly 6pm.

"guys go home, you've done a lot today," Hotch said as he crossed the bullpen, making his way towards the glass doors.

"yeah i will i'm almost done," you answered, not looking up from my screen.

"good night, Hotch," Spencer called from the break room.

you stared at your screen, eyes burning. you did enough. you cant escape confronting your feelings much longer. you sighed as you began packing up.

as if on cue, Spencer walked out of the break room with two cups in his hands, steam rising from the both of them. your mood softened just a bit.

"here," he handed you your drink which he had filled with your favorite tea and sweetened just the way you like it.

"you didnt have to." you replied, setting down the warm cup as you finished packing up. he mirrored your movements, resting his satchel across his torso before picking his drink back up.

"i know." he answered simply, a gentle smiling resting on his lips before he took a sip of his own tea.

"im sorry for snapping at you earlier." you apologized, finally meeting his gaze. his eyes were soft and sweet and you felt a pang of guilt in your heart as they looked into your own.

"its ok. do you want to tell me why?" he asked, walking to the elevator with you.

"no. yes? i dont know. its stupid." you replied, looking down at the floor as you recounted your reason for my anger today.

"its not stupid." he spoke softly.

you scoffed lightly, "you dont even know what it is."

"so tell me."

"but its dumb!"

"y/n." he warned.

"my ex boyfriend, Ashton, is getting married to the girl he cheated on me with." you sighed, walking through the parking lot with Spencer.

"ah so Trashton put my favorite ray of sunshine in a bad mood." he joked, breath swirling around the cool air as he spoke

you let out a weary chuckle, "its not like i miss him or anything, i just wish i had someone! not him- i just- i want- ugh i don't know how to word this!" you grew frustrated, furrowing your eyebrows and balling your hands into fists.

you knew exactly how to word it.

you wanted Spencer.

"its ok, take all the time you need." he whispered, leaning on the hood of your car. you joined him, resting as you took a sip of your tea.

"why am i not good enough to be loved." you stated the question rather than asking it, eyes filling with tears.

"you are good enough and i promise you that you are loved more than you know." he affirmed gently, turning to face you.

"do you know why we broke up?" you asked, knowing if you acknowledged his previous comment you wouldn't be able to continue without sobbing.

"because he cheated on you." he answered confidently.

"no." you shook your head, fighting back tears.

"what? he didn't cheat on you?"

"he did. and i was going to forgive him for that."

Spencer started getting riled up, "what! why? you're worth more than that scumbag! you shouldn't ha-"

"Spencer just let me finish!" you cut him off. he went silent, chest rising and falling more rhythmically than it had seconds earlier. "he wanted me to chose. him or you."

"him or me?" he furrowed his eyebrows, voice much quieter now.

"mhm." you hummed not meeting his gaze, your cheeks redder than you'd like to admit.

"i don't understand." he breathed.

"he thought i was cheating on him with you. he had no proof and it w-"

"oh this is all my fault. y/n i'm so sorry!"

"no! spence its not your fault!" you grabbed his arm to reassure him.

"it is! your boyfriend broke up with you because of me! and now you're sad and lonely and its all my fault!" he cried, looking worriedly into your eyes.

"first of all, i broke it off with him, he just gave the ultimatum. secondly, you did me a favor."

"how?"

"by showing me who i was really dating. a cheating, insecure scumbag who was quick to replace me when i left."

"i guess thats true."

"and id pick you over him any day." you admitted, looking back down at the ground. he nudged your shoulder playfully and you cracked a sad smile

"im sorry i made you sad and lonely."

"you didnt. id be sad and lonely anyway."

"why? you would still have a boyfriend if it wasn't for me."

"i don't want a boyfriend if it isn't you."

shit. shit.

the words toppled out of your mouth before you could stop them.

"what?" he asked, wide eyes and looking a little shocked. spencer was sure in that very moment that if he heard you correctly hed simply explode.

"i- no this was a bad idea. i just ruined everything didnt i!" you were speaking more to yourself, exasperated at your own stupidity.

"no," you felt him place a finger to your chin and lift your gaze to meet his, "im glad you said it because now i can admit it."

"admit what?"

"that im completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you."

"spencer dont play with my heart like this. are you being serious?"

"yes. i am." he said with a strange confidence than you had never heard before. hesitant but sure.

"oh thats so lucky because i am completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you too." you admitted, feeling about 100 pounds lighter, like you could fly. he pulled you into a bone crushing hug which you eagerly accepted. "i should talk about my feelings more often."

he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head, "yes you should."

world littlest taglist:

@mac99martin

[ppersonna]

tempestuous - kth | m

tem·pes·tu·ous - adjective - characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion

↳ summary- There’s no one who riles you up more than Kim Taehyung, your best friend’s brother.  He knows exactly how to make you fly off the handle.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 6.8k

↳ pairing- taehyung x reader

↳ genre- smut, minor angst i guess in the form of fighting, this is one big pile of smut, there’s some fluff too

↳ warnings- yikes where to begin.  angry sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don’t be like dis), slapping, spanking, pain kink, dom/sub elements, facefucking, really rough sex, finger sucking, derogatory names, uhhh name calling, hate sex, tae is fuckin nasty yall im thriving

↳ a/n- I HAD TO REUPLOAD bc tumblr sucks lol well folks. here we are.  i was given a prompt by @ladyartemesia​ so i blame her.  as for tae, he really came for me this week and completely wrecked me, love that for me. i really popped off here and it’s only edited by me so i’m SORRY if there’s a lot of mistakes.  fun fact i actually wrote almost 10k of another version of this but it frustrated me so badly i scrapped it lmao  🤡 HERE WE GO! Enjoy!  feel free to send in your requests and i promise to try and get it done for you! 

Kim Taehyung could only be described in a few words.

Infuriating, bothersome, vexing.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, suave.

Absolutely, inherently maddening.

And you hate how much you absolutely melt underneath his gaze, the way your heart leaps into your throat with a single word.  Your body, the ultimate betrayer, opens up to him as your brain screams to abort, reverse, go back to start and do not pass go.

Kim Taehyung is not just the bane of your existence, no.  He’s the little brother of your best friend, Kim Namjoon.   Joonie had been in your life since you were in first grade and he in second.  Taehyung was your age, but you hit it off with the older boy and haven’t separated since.  Your mothers joked that you would get married one day and continue on the Kim line.  Until they found out that Namjoon was 1) bisexual and 2) hopelessly in love with, ironically, a man named Kim Seokjin.   He reasoned to his parents that they would at least carry on the Kim name.  

Where Namjoon was sweet, caring, and deeply compassionate towards you, Taehyung was his alter.  Taehyung was brash, cocky and relished in watching you squirm, whether it be out of fury or the god forsaken sexual tension.  All growing up, he was the one to pull your pigtails, trip you into puddles of mud, and tease you in front of your friends. Namjoon, ever the faithful companion, was always there to pick up the pieces of what Taehyung broke.

It’s been that way with Taehyung ever since. A constant tug of war with each other, both unwilling to give a single inch to the opponent.  

Your relationship with Namjoon remained steadfast as ever.  Namjoon eventually moved in with his now-husband, Seokjin, who easily settled into your life as an additional partner in crime.  You spent most of your days and nights settled into the couch, snuggled somehow in between or next to one of the two men you cherished most.  You had the two best friends you could ask for and a happy life, blissfully Taehyung-free.

Until it wasn’t.

A loud knock wakes you from an unexpected nap on Namjoon’s couch.  Your eyes crack open against the glare of the sunlight streaming through the windows.  It takes a moment to gather your surroundings.  You recognize that you’re in Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, and judging by the silence, you’re definitely alone there.  As you reach for your phone, the screen lights up the time.  5:34 pm.  Well, shit. You remember eating brunch and drinking mimosas at noon with your best friends and then lying on the couch to watch Netflix.  How had you fallen asleep for five hours?  How did you not wake? What the fuck did Jin put in his mimosas?

The knock is insistent again, louder this time.

“Joon! Jin! it’s me! Open up!”

The voice sounds familiar in your sleep-addled mind, but not quite enough to pinpoint it.   You push your limp body off the couch and wince at the feeling of sore muscles.  Couch sleeping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be once you’re past the age of 25.

“Sorry, Namjoon isn’t here-,” You open the door to explain to the guest and you’re cut off.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You rub at your sleepy eyes and allow your vision to focus, only to feel your blood stand still in your veins.

Kim Taehyung.  Of fucking course.

“What do you mean, why am I here? I’m always here,” you tut as you fold your arms to your chest.  “What are you doing here?”

He rolls his eyes and holds up his hands, two suitcases clutched in each.  Who the fuck carries 4 suitcases up three flights of stairs? Kim annoying ass Taehyung does, apparently.

“I’m moving in.”  He pushes past you and into the living room.  

Your mouth gapes open.  Namjoon certainly didn’t tell you this.  Taehyung looks back at chuckles at your reaction.

“I’m guessing your best friend didn’t tell you the happy news?”

You shut your mouth, quickly jumping back into composure.  “No, he failed to mention that,” you sniff.  “I thought you lived with your girlfriend in Gangnam?  What was her name? Rose or whatever?”

Tae stiffens, just slightly for a moment, before he plasters back on the bravado.  “Obviously not anymore.  We broke up, she kept the apartment.  Got tired of moping at my mom’s house and I told Namjoon I wanted to come back to the city.”

You feel a slight tug at your stomach, guilt, perhaps?  You clear your throat.  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He laughs as he sits on the couch, instantly throwing his feet onto the coffee table, like a heathen.  “No, you’re not.”  

“What do you mean, no I’m not? God, sorry for being polite!”

This, you reason, is why you can’t sustain longer than 5 minutes of civilized conversation with your best friend’s younger brother.  He’s impossible.

He just smirks, and you know he loves the rise he gets out of you.

“Because I know you, and I know you don’t give a fuck about my love life.”

Au contraire. If only he knew just how much you gave a fuck.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t be nice to you!” you nearly stamp your foot in frustration but hold yourself back. That would be too good of ammo for him to use against you.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesces. “Whatever helps you feel you’re a good person.”

You’re seeing red and you know you want to continue screaming at him but you will not stoop to his level.

“Christ, I haven’t seen you in months and you’re still an asshole,” you say as you grab your keys and shoes. “And also, Jin will kill you if he sees your feet on his coffee table.”

You whip yourself around and open the door to leave and hear him call over your shoulder.

“Good to see you too, doll! Love the hairstyle, by the way.”

You close the door with a growl leaving your throat.  The absolute audacity of that man.

You stomp towards the elevator to take yourself to the ground level, when you catch your reflection in the shiny metal. Your hair is in what you can only lovingly call a complete hornet’s nest. It’s ratted and sticking out in places and you feel your cheeks burn.  Your first reintroduction with Taehyung is with a fight AND with you looking like a fool.

This would not do. No, sir.

“Kim Namjoon!” you shriek into your cell phone.  You’re awkwardly pressing it against your ear with your shoulder as you walk out of the convenience store under your apartment building with 3 bottles of soju and a six-pack of beer. You needed to drown your shame and sorrow, and fast.

“Hello, love of my life and moon of my stars,” your best friend replies and you can hear Seokjin chuckle in the background.

“No!” You chide, already cracking a beer open as you storm into your apartment building. “Don’t you Khal Drogo me, mister! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me your fucking asshole brother was moving in with you?!”

Namjoon is silent and you can tell he’s wincing on the other end of the phone. “Oops?” He offers.

“Yeah, big oops! A heads up would have been nice! Like, ‘hey best friend, your worst enemy of all time is moving in today. Maybe you shouldn’t fall asleep on my couch and wake up looking like Frankenstein’s ugly wife. Oh, and also my handsome boyfriend and I will just happen to not be there when he arrives’.”

By this time, you can tell Namjoon has put you on speakerphone because you can hear their rich laughter loud and clear. Rude bitches.

You stab your key code into your door and lock yourself in, chugging as much of the beer as you could handle.

“At least, even in her rants she thinks I’m handsome,” Jin gloats.

“I’m sorry babe,” Namjoon sighs as he finally calms down. “I didn’t know he would be there today. I just found out about it last night.”

You nibbled at your bottom lip, the annoying pit in your stomach feeling simultaneously guilty that he went through a breakup, unbridled joy that something brought him down a peg, and just a dash of excitement that he’s single now.

You let out a breath. “It’s okay, Joon.  It just surprised me to see him.”

Jin butts in, “And because you have a big, fat, unresolved crush on him.”

“Jin!” You admonish. The couple laughs again and you roll your eyes, asking yourself why you put up with the two. “I do not!”

They both hum a non-committal answer, implying they don’t believe you in the slightest.

“Whatever.  What are you guys doing, anyway?”

“We just got home from shopping.  God, Jin looked so good in these jeans he tried on.  I was actually just about to suck his coc-,”

“Kim Namjoon, do not finish that sentence! I do not wish to hear it!” You try to remain firm, but dissolve into giggles with the pair.

You could never stay mad at Namjoon long, even if his brother was the devil incarnate.

“Darling,” Jin calls through the phone.  “I still expect to see you at our place tonight for our sleepover.”

Christ, you had forgotten all about your scheduled sleepover night.  It was tradition and one of your favorite parts of your friendship with the couple.  Jin, a literal chef, prepared a five star meal along with dessert for you while you binge watched Netflix and talked incessantly.

But you also usually slept in their spare bedroom.  The exact one that Taehyung would be occupying.

“Fuck, while he’s there?”

“Oh suck it up,” Jin chides, like he’s your mother. “He’s probably not even going to leave his room.  You’re not getting out of this.  I’m making strawberry cheesecake.”

Your mouth waters at the idea of Jin’s famous cheesecake.  

“Fine, but I get to lick the bowl and not Namjoon.  Those are my terms.”

Namjoon squawked in defiance as Jin laughed.  “I agree to your terms.  Be at our place by 8.”

As you hung up the phone, you checked the time.  6:40.  God, he hadn’t left you with much time to get ready, did he?

And you definitely needed to get ready.  There was no way you were entering a room where Kim Taehyung exists looking like booboo the fool, not again.

Your fingers press the 6 digit passcode to Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, arms heavy laden with your bag of toiletries and pajamas, and a bag full of wine.

“Honey, I’m home!” You announce as you toe off your shoes and slide into the combined kitchen and living room.

You receive no reply, but greeted with the amused face of none other than the object of your filthiest dreams, Taehyung.

“Pet names already?  We’re moving pretty fast, wouldn’t you say?” He asks you as he lounges at the kitchen table.  He watches you open the fridge to set the wine, as comfortable in their home as you are in yours.

“Fuck off,” you grumble. “Where’s your brother?”

Tae seemed absolutely tickled by your disgruntlement.  “I think they mentioned something about taking a shower.  That was 20 minutes ago, though.”

“Great,” you sigh. “Those fucking horn dogs act as if they’re still newlyweds.  We’ll be waiting awhile.”  

You tug off your sweater, leaving you to remain in a fitted tank top and yoga pants.  You tried to maintain a comfortable look as you dressed for the evening, while keeping in mind which leggings hugged your ass and showed off your toned thighs, and a tank top that dipped low to your cleavage.  Okay, so maybe you had ulterior motives. You wanted to make up for your dreadful appearance earlier and make him squirm, payback for the years of him doing it to you.

You watch him as he lets his eyes roam your body, eying you like he wants to ravage you completely. You feel victorious… and also turned on. Fuck, you played yourself.

You flop onto the couch in a huff and Tae snorts before joining you.

“What’s so funny?” You eye him suspiciously.

“Nothing,” his smile feigns innocence. “I’m not allowed to laugh?”

You sniff in annoyance, not eager to fall for his tricks. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want, your highness.”  Sarcasm drips from your voice and Tae finds it even more humorous.

“I see you’re still a sassy bitch.”

You gasp, audibly startled by his language and rise from the couch, fists clenched.

“I see you’re still a conceited dick!”

He rises to meet you where you stand, eyes boring into your own with his stupid sexy grin on his face.  “I see you’re still not one to back down from a fight.”

You step closer, close enough to feel his breath on your face.  Idly, you note it smells like peppermint and you move closer on reflex.

“Yeah? I see you’re still not one to avoid starting a fight in the first place!” you huff.

“Oh, I started it?”  

“Yeah, you started it! You called me a bitch!”

You can’t believe this is happening.  You feel as if you’re 6 again and fighting with him over a toy.

“A sassy bitch, actually,” he corrects, taking another step forward, bodies touching.

“Fuck you!”

“Only if you say please,” he quips before he closes the distance and presses his lips to yours in a scorching hot kiss.

There’s not even a moment of hesitation on your end, immediately pulling him even closer and wrapping your arms around his neck and allowing his tongue entrance to your mouth.  Your body reacts to his instantly, as if it’s wired to respond to him and him only. Your mind was blank of anything except Tae, only Tae please, and you acted purely on instinct alone.  And instinct was pulling him closer and begging, more, anything he could give.

The sound of laughter coming from the hallway pulls you apart, neither of you wanting to get caught by Namjoon or Jin.  You stare at him, his lips are cherry red and slightly swollen and the image burns into your retinas.  He has such pretty lips after you’ve kissed him.

“Oh hey! What’s going on here?” Namjoon asks as he notices the intense eye-battle you’re engaged in with his younger brother.

It shakes you out of the spell, eye contact broken and hypnosis halted.  

“Just, errrr,” you falter to find the right words to explain the situation.

“Just getting reacquainted.”  Tae sounds completely unaffected, as if the passionate kiss you shared with him seconds ago was but a distant memory.  Asshole.

“I’m surprised you two haven’t thrown anything at each other yet,” Jin laughs. “Or thrown yourselves at each other.”

Both you and Taehyung whip to look directly at Jin.

“Her!?” Tae is incredulous. “Gross.”

You’ll never admit out loud that his words wound you.

“You’re an asshole, Taehyung,” you punctuate your words by turning away from him and towards Namjoon, who appears amused as ever.

“Ah, I love when my best friend and my little brother are screaming at each other.  Feels like old times.  Can one of you cry now to complete the moment?”

Taehyung grumbles under his breath, something you can’t catch, and stalks off to his room.  The slam of his door reverberates in the apartment and Jin jumps and turns to yell down the hall at his brother-in-law.

“Yah! Don’t break my apartment! I still owe money on this!”

Despite Taehyung’s appearance every so often in the kitchen or living room, the rest of the night goes on with no annoying disturbances.

Jin spoils you and his husband with expensive food, and the best cheesecake you’ve ever eaten in your life.  Plus, you’re given the bowl to lick clean despite a desperately adorable pout from Namjoon you were sure would persuade Jin.

You’re settled on the couch, snuggling in the middle of the couple as an action movie flickers across the big screen tv.  Truthfully, you haven’t paid attention to a single thing happening, your thoughts entirely too absorbed in Taehyung and that deliciously infuriating kiss.  

Why did he do it?  You couldn’t comprehend his reasoning.  Perhaps he was doing it to piss you off.  He’s never angered you with that level of intimacy before, but you didn’t put it past him.

You’re surprised when the credits of the movie start rolling and Jin and Namjoon fake loud yawns.

“Oh man, I’m beat,” Namjoon lies.

Jin is quick to join. “Me too, I think I’ll pass out the moment I hit the pillow.”

You roll your eyes at the men. “Will you two please go fuck already, I know that’s what you’re going to do.”

Namjoon blanches, but Jin laughs and kisses your cheek. “Ah, my smart, beautiful and chaotic child,” he coos. He leans in to your ear, voice low to keep his husband from listening. “I don’t think I’m the only one in this house who’s going to get pounded into a mattress.”  

He pulls back and winks at you, deftly ignores Namjoon’s confusion and sadness of being left out, and drags him to their bedroom with a loud ‘goodnight’.

You’re left to stew in your own emotions, which is never a good thing.  Was the tension that obvious? You always assumed it had been one-sided, but the kiss befuddled you more than you’d like to admit.

It finally snapped in your mind, all the dots connecting. That’s why he did it.  

He kissed you so you’d stew and simmer and eventually erupt, like you’re doing now.  Taehyung knows you too well for your comfort.

You grab your bag of clothes and storm towards the bathroom to change, promising yourself to forget about the kiss and not give Taehyung what he wants.

Except you’re not very good at promises, especially to yourself.

You can’t say you’re excited to sleep on the couch again.  While it’s a nice couch, it’s definitely not a bed and your back will pay the price tomorrow.  You supposed it was better than the floor, but not by much.

After dressing in your pajamas, a purposefully picked out combination of tiny shorts and a sports bra in case Taehyung happens upon you, you return to your bed for the night in the living room.

Namjoon graciously left blankets and a pillow out for you, and you’re complaining internally about Taehyung the whole time you make yourself a spot to sleep.  If it wasn’t for stupid Taehyung and his stupid existence, you’d be sleeping like a baby on the guest bed that you loved.  But no, they relegated you to the couch like an animal.

Sleep was not in the cards tonight, it seems.  You toss and turn and try to press at the cushions to move a lump around and get comfortable, but it’s all for naught.  You’re wide awake and very, very uncomfortable.  You didn’t understand how you fell asleep on this very couch earlier in the day.  Maybe the mimosas you had at brunch with the couple had been helpful.

A thought crosses your mind. Alcohol.  Maybe a nice glass of wine would help tuck you into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.  A nightcap. Of course.  You were angry at yourself for not thinking of it hours ago.  

You slipped out of your disagreeable bed and into the kitchen, trying not to make a sound.  Jin’s beloved kitchen was also an echo chamber of noise, even the slightest sound bouncing off its walls and amplifying it through the whole house.  You still remember the way you jumped five feet in the air when Jin accidentally broke a plate.  It sounded like a bomb explosion.

You bite your lip as you carefully pry the cabinet of wine glasses open, careful to not even allow a squeak of a hinge.  You silently beg to stay silent and not wake anyone in the house.  You didn’t want to be caught drinking wine at 2 am in the dark, that’s difficult to explain without looking like an alcoholic.

With glass in hand, you tiptoe the fridge to pull out the bottle of merlot, thinking the heavy red wine would be the best to get you sleepy and quick.  

You tug the cork from the bottle and pour a healthy amount into the stemware with a smile.  Liquid sleep.  And you had done it without making a single sound. Perfection. The smell of the alcohol permeates through your nose as you lift the glass, placing it to your lips to take a sip.

“Wine at this hour?” the unexpected voice of Taehyung echos through the kitchen, making you yelp and jolting you hard enough that you drop the hard-earned glass of wine to the tile floor, red wine splashing as the sound of glass shattering is reverberating off the walls.

“Fuck!” You screech at the intruder.  Taehyung doubles over, laughing as if he’s seen nothing funnier than what just transpired.  “You asshole!”

You listen past Taehyung’s incessant laughter to ensure the owners of the apartment hadn’t awoken during the ruckus. You definitely did not want to face a tired and agitated Jin to tell him you shattered one of his Tiffany crystal goblets.

Beyond Tae, the house is silent and you’re thanking whatever god is listening for keeping your best friends asleep.

The wine is everywhere, spilling into the cracks of the tile and splattered on the walls.  The crystal stemware is too; it shattered with such force that you see flecks of the shrapnel in all four corners of the room.

Tae wipes a tear from his face and you square a tempestuous look at him.  

“Fucking help me!  You made me drop it!”

Through snorts, he replies. “I didn’t make you do anything.  You did that on your own.”  Although he is arguing with you, he’s gingerly stepping into the kitchen and kneeling to pick up shards of glass.

“I wouldn’t have dropped it if you had come into the room like a fucking normal person,” you grit.

He collects the glass, the delighted grin on his face now permanent.  He’s relishing in your annoyance, you know he is, and it burns you from the inside out.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me.”

“You could have turned on the light! Why were you in the dark like a freak?”  You’re grasping at straws, anything to pin this all on him.  It would quell the fire in your belly to push it all onto him, make you feel as if you’ve won.

Taehyung levels a look at you.  “And you weren’t also in the dark? Pouring a gallon of wine for yourself?”

Your cheeks flare red. Fuck, he definitely caught you there.  You’re playing verbal poker with him and the hand you’re dealt falls flat compared to his royal flush.  He grins, knowing he has you.

“Fuck you,” you snark, you go to insult when you’re backed into a corner.

“Ah, doll,” he winks.  “We talked about that.  Be careful what you wish for.”

The fire inside you is roaring to an inferno now, flames licking to your core. It’s a complicated mixture of anger and sexual energy. It’s infuriating that he’s able to make you feel every single emotion to the extreme. You hate that arguing with him turns you on, like it’s some perverse foreplay.  

You moisten your lips with your tongue as you process his words, and Tae’s eyes hungrily track the appendage as it glides over your lips.

“Fuck. You.” You emphasize perfunctorily.

All thoughts of wiping up the mess are forgotten as Tae drags both you and himself off the floor and steers you to the living room, lips feverish against your own.  He pushes you into the couch and tugs his shirt off, before replacing his lips to yours.  

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot when you’re a bitch,” he groans as he snaps the strap of your sports bra. “Seeing you get all worked up makes me so hard.”

He’s not wrong. You can see through his mesh basketball shorts that he’s sporting an impressive package, rock hard in its clothed prison.

“Yeah?” You bite at his lip.

“Hell yeah.”  His hands work to the elastic band under your bust and tugs the offending material off, tits springing free as he throws it to the floor.  

“Holy shit,” Taehyung breathes as he gets a good look at your chest.

You shake them gently, grinning as he watches them jiggle.  “You like what you see?”

He smirks and pinches a nipple, wiping the coy smile off your face and turning it into a moan.  “I like when you’re mouthy, but don’t push it.”  

He lowers his head to the nipple he’s still pinching in his fingers, licking at it and replacing his fingers with his mouth.  He’s moaning around the nipple, and you’re gasping for more.  His hot mouth sucks at you, teeth nibbling and pulling it until you’re whimpering in delicious pain.

“Fuck!” He cries as he pops away from your nipple.  “You’re so fucking hot.”

Your body warms at his words, arousal pooling between your legs.  You’re sure that your thighs are drenched in your essence.

He slurps your neglected breast into his mouth, ensuring your nipples are equally abused.  His tongue is skilled but his mouth is messy, saliva dripping all around your tit and it’s the hottest fucking sight you’ve ever seen.

He’s pulling away again and pinching both nipples with his hands simultaneously. “And you’re so fucking annoying.”

You’re pleading for more or to stop, you’re not sure.  He continues.

“Mm, I’m gonna fuck you until you’re a good little bitch for me. Listening to every fucking thing I say.”

He releases your nipples, and you finally find the ability to focus again, staring directly at him.

“Oh, you think you’re that good?” you sass as you attempt to catch your breath.  “Put your money where your mouth is.”

Tae grips your chin roughly, face inches away from yours with a sadistic grin. “You’re going to regret those words, baby.”

Instantly, he’s standing up and tugging his shorts down to let his cock spring free.  Your brain misfires as you visually measure his cock and your mouth goes dry. He’s thick and long. The bulbous head is dripping pre-cum, begging you to slurp it up.

“How about I put my money where your mouth is,” he suggests as he grabs a fistful of your hair.  

He teasingly rubs his cock on your lips and cheeks, makes you whimper with need. Your tongue is sticking out, desperate for him to lay it on you.

“Already so fucking greedy,” he grunts and in one motion, directs his dick into your open mouth. “I’ll fuck your throat, yeah? Greedy bitches love getting face fucked.”  He is still for a beat more, eyes searching yours for consent and you nod with his cock still in your mouth. He winks, then begins a rapid pace, his cock fucking into your mouth and throat.

You’re sure you look like a goddamn mess with saliva dripping from your mouth as Taehyung punishes your throat with his thrusts.  You gag and moan around him, and he tightens his grip in your hair as you see stars.

It’s indescribable. Never have you felt such pleasure from sucking cock, but Tae commands your entire body, willing you to drip with anticipation.

“My little fuck toy, god you feel so fucking good,” he hisses. “You’re gonna swallow my cum, baby.”  

His hips are stuttering, he’s close, and you’re sucking him harder, cheeks pulling in harder to vacuum him in. The pressure makes him groan out loud.

“So good, so fucking good. Get ready for your prize, baby,” his voice cuts off in a gasp, as his cock twitches violently. His legs shake and he doesn’t hold back the moans of his orgasm, gasping as he feels rope after rope spill down your hot throat.

Your big doll eyes are twinkling up at him, lips still wrapped around his cock. Taehyung is sure it’s the hottest thing he’ll ever see in his lifetime.  You on your knees, subservient to him and thriving for it.

“Mmm, I like it when your mouth is full like this,” he slowly pulls out of your mouth, albeit reluctantly. “Can’t talk back to me when you’re sucking my cock like a whore.”

You smile and stick out your tongue, pleased to show him you happily accepted his cum.

“Good fucking girl,” he coos as he grips your chin again. “Did you like my cum?”

You nod, brain fried from the heat of the room.

“Use your words,” he grits and grips your jaw harder. It’s enough to shock you into compliance.

“Y-yes! Fuck, I love your cum, Tae.”  Your words are breathy and raspy, throat raw from his barrage.

“I knew you would, filthy slut.  Sit on the couch.” He orders and you’re quick to scurry and sit on the makeshift bed you made.

His hands are tugging down your shorts quickly. No teasing or seduction here, not now. You lift your hips, and he throws them aside. Your legs close on reflex, making him growl.

“Do not hide yourself from me.” His tone is dark and you can’t help but shiver as you open yourself up to him. You want to talk back, want to fight and bite at him, but you’re quickly losing the ability to even speak, and you’re aching for him.

“Where’s my mouthy little bitch? You’re awfully quiet. Did I finally break you?” He teases, pressing your legs upward, knees to your ears. It’s pornographic how on display you are for him, soaking wet cunt front and center.

“The great Taehyung thinks he can break me with his cock,” you mewl, mustering all the false confidence you can. You’re lying through your fucking teeth and you both know it, but you continue. “You’ll have to do more than that.”

Your pussy is quaking with need now, desperate for a single touch. His hands maintain purchase on the backs of your thighs, holding them up.

“There she is,” he bites at the flesh of your leg closest to him which makes you jerk in his hold. “Gonna fuck the brat right out of you.”

He removes a hand from your thigh and you’re quick to pick up the slack, holding the thigh in place to maintain his open show of your pussy.

“Try me,” you murmur, and you’re instantly regretting your words as a harsh slap descends and lands square on your cunt.

You nearly scream, pain flooding your wanton pussy, before turning into delicious pleasure that stings and tingles right at your clit. It sizzles, and warmth blooms where his hand was.

“That’s for not believing me.”  His eyes are feral and you want to bottle this memory forever.  

Another slap has your legs trembling, eyes rolling back as the burn turns to a low heat.  You’re dripping your wetness down onto the couch and Jin will kill you, but you don’t care.

“That was for calling me a dick,” he smirks.

Smack.

Tears spring in your eyes as the slap brings more pleasure than pain, desperately close to your edge.

“Look at you, you could cum just from this, couldn’t you?”

“F-fuck! Yes, please, I need more, please!” Your cunt is clenching around nothing, desperate for friction and leaking out of you like a faucet. Taehyung marvels at you, legs spread so far, with a cunt weeping with arousal for more. He can’t wait to dive in there, but he’s not finished with you yet.

“More? I don’t know if you deserve more, baby, you’ve been awfully mean to me,” he tsks, breathing hot air on your clit, making you whine.

“P-please! I’m sorry!” You’re sure you will black out with how desperately you need him. You need him more than you need oxygen.

“Beg.”

You’re quick to submit. Thoughts of fighting back are long gone, you’re his wanton little slut now.

“Please, please! Pleaseeeee, make me cum! I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He asks with an arch of his eyebrow.

You’re nodding wildly, gazing at him with desperate, watery eyes.

“Anything, I need you so f-fucking bad it hurts!”

By the time the words leave your lips, he’s thrusting two fingers into your cunt viciously, fingering you ferociously. He arches them, rubbing against your spongy g-spot and making you scream. He knows you’re close, knows you only need one little push off the edge. He plays your body like a skilled practitioner.

“Cum on my fingers, baby. Let me see my greedy little bitch milk my fingers.”

Your body and mind react accordingly, deep down you know your body is owned completely by him, all his.  Your orgasm explodes and you think you actually scream, your vision is black and your hearing goes silent for a moment as you cum harder than you have in your life.  You’re squeezing his fingers with your pussy so tight and Taehyung is gently licking all the juices from his hand with his fingers still inside you.

It takes time to descend from the separate plane of existence Taehyung sent you too, but you come back and watch as he laps at the liquid of your cunt and on his hand like it’s a vital necessity. His fingers remain in your walls, and he refuses to break eye contact with you. You’re positive you could cum again from the sight.

“My little cockslut tastes so good, just how I like,” he tells you tenderly. “Like cherries, so sweet.  My little cherry.”

Your cunt is aching and warming back to life as he pulls his fingers out of you. The loss is immense and you’re whimpering for more.

“Ah, ah,” he hushes you. “No whining. You’ll take what I give you.  Suck my fingers clean. Taste yourself.”

He presses his fingers into your mouth, earning him a sigh, the taste of you filling your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his fingers and suckle each one to ensure your tongue laves the entire surface.

“Fuck,” he whispers and it’s his first crack in his steel reserve. “Needy.”

He pulls his fingers from your mouth and presses against you to kiss. It’s gentle, sweet, and nothing compared to the man assailing your pussy with slaps moments ago. It thrills you just the same and you return in kind, threading your hands in his wavy hair.

He pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, a moment of gentleness you actively welcome.

“This little cunt ready for me?” He whispers and you’re whimpering your reply.

“Please, fuck me. I need you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”

He grins and presses a kiss to your lips again, sweet and chaste, before he pulls away and slides down to attach those same sinful lips to your pussy.

It’s so unexpected you flinch and manage a cry as his tongue slurps up more of your delicious essence and his mouth moves to suckle on your clit. You’re not sure where the fuck he learned these tricks, but you know now you will never let him go.

“Taehyung!” You cry at the sensation. “Fuck!”

After receiving the reaction he was desperate for, he slips his tongue into your walls deep and gathers as much of you as he can, before he’s pulling back and swallowing you down.

“I couldn’t resist. Your cunt was made for me to devour.”

He doesn’t allow for a response as he throws your legs over his shoulders and lines himself up at your core.

“Condom?” He asks you, and you level a quick look at him.

“I don’t live here! I don’t have any!”  You’re savage, terrified he’ll pull his cock away when all you want and can think about is the way he’ll feel pounding into you.

“Don’t be rude, baby,” he reminds you with a swat to your ass. “I’m clean, promise. You?”

You nod quickly, reveling in the spank’s tingle. “Same. I have an IUD too,” you sigh. Thank god for medical birth control implants.

“Good. You’re the only pussy I’m gonna fuck from now on,” he promises. You know you must talk about this later, when you’re thinking rationally and not with your aching pussy.  

Your heart stutters and leaps into your throat but all is forgotten as he plunges into your tight heat.

“Ohhhhh shit, ahhh,” he gasps. “Baby, you’re so fucking tight and wet.”  He’s on the verge of whining, becoming just as needy and greedy as you.  He wastes no time in setting a pace.

His cock fills you completely, his angle allowing him to go as deep as he can, pressing the beginning of your cervix.  This is surely what heaven feels like.  It feels like the completeness you feel with Taehyung fully sheathed inside you.

It comes alive with flames and explosions as he fucks you, hips pistoning to plunge in and out of you with tenacity.  He fucks you like he laces every single thrust with more, more than just sex. He fucks you with purpose.

You’re moaning like a pornstar now, high pitch wails and gasps and breathy moans are all you can manage. “Taehyung, yes! Feel so g-g-good!”

“That’s right baby, scream my fucking name. Make sure all the neighbors know who fucking ruined you,” he nearly spits, cock thrusting into your core at an impossible speed. “I want you to tell all of Korea who owns you. Who owns this tiny little cunt?”

The wind leaves you, and you’re gasping for air, gaping mouth open as you try to reply. It takes him fucking into you harder a few times before you feel it rush back into you.

“You, Taehyung!  You!  Fuck, I love your cock!”

His thumb rubs at your engorged clit, allowing it the friction it seeks.  He bends forward and wraps his other hand around your throat, squeezing.  

Losing air combined with the friction on your clit has you keening, so close to the edge. You try to babble his name but nothing comes out.

“Look at my pretty little slut taking my cock so well,” he praises.  “You have the greediest pussy, don’t you? You need my cock daily, baby. Need to put my mouthy bitch in her place, remind her who’s in charge.”

He slows his pace but his thrusts are punishing, fucking into you as hard as he can. Your orgasm is climbing so impossibly high.

“F-fuck!” You gasp as he releases his grip on your neck. “Gonna cum! Please let me cum!”  

“Yeah baby, cum for me.  Cream your greedy pussy all over my cock.”

The world stops spinning as you hit the height of your climax and plunge down.  Your vision goes black and your body is quivering and convulsing nearly as hard as your cunt is. Taehyung hisses at your walls sucking him in, as if you’re begging for his cum, begging for more.

“Fuck, good girl, baby, holy shit,” he’s breathless and so close.

You’re overstimulated, boneless, but he wrought two of the best orgasms you’ve ever felt in your life and you’ll be damned if you leave him high and dry.  You bite your lip as you move with him, hips pounding against each other. His face is scrunched up and you know he’s close when he’s stuttering on his words.  You take over for him.

“Please cum in me baby, please.  Fill me up. I’m yours, baby, mark my little cunt as yours.”  You don’t know where it’s coming from, but you keep it going. It feels as natural as fucking him does. “Please, Taehyung!”

At the sound of his name leaving you in a whine, he spirals down his own completion. He feels his cock pulse as he empties his load into you, your walls still reverently beckoning for him. He’s calling out your name, grasping at your tits as he finishes and you’re smiling from ear to ear. Your pussy is warm with his seed and you’re positive it’s the way you want to feel every single night.

“Holy fuck,” Taehyung rasps as he pulls his cock out of you. He thrills as he watches his cum follow, slipping out your folds and down your thigh. “I definitely marked you.”

You hum in reply, finally allowing yourself to soak in the haze of orgasmic bliss. Tae presses his head to yours again, kissing you sweetly.

“Come sleep in my bed?” He asks. He means more behind it. He wants to ask you to sleep in his bed every night, stay with him every day, be the one he grows old with. He knows there’s still more to talk about, wounds of the past to heal, but now you’re with him, and he knows he’ll work through anything.

You nod, and kiss him again, understanding his hidden meaning laced in his words.

A sly smile spreads across his face. “Last one to bed has to take the blame for the wineglass,” he teases. Your head spins as if you’ve got whiplash.  He can switch from dominating to sensitive to the little shit he is so quick.

“Hey! No fucking fair! You fucked my ability to run out of me!”

“Shouldn’t have been such a sassy bitch,” he winks before he tears away towards his room.

“Taehyung, you’re an asshole!” You call as you limp your way behind him.

From behind Joon and Jin’s door, a critical voice bellows, “YAH! I’ll kill you if you got your jizz on my couch! And what is this I heard about my glass!!? HEY!  Those are TIFFANY. CRYSTAL. THE DISRESPECT!”

You slip into Taehyung’s bed and wrap yourself around him, the two of you gasping with mischievous giggles.

Kim Taehyung will always be the one who knows how to drive you wild. He’ll always aggravate and infuriate you, send you reeling.

But now you didn’t think you minded it at all.

© ppersonna - 2020 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.