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unnaturalequilibrium · 2 months

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undefined number of favourite #mafin scenes [the defense]

Seeing this made me feel like that skinny dude in the dusty black tux, “What’s this? What’s this? I can’t believe my eyes. I must be dreaming - Have I possibly gone daffy?! What’s this? How queer! Who’d think! Oh could it be - I’ve got my wish?”[1]

Okay, maybe not entirely truthful, I was late to the party and I knew exactly down which road of sapphic sophistication this was about to go down, but I am very good at suspending my disbelief and hold on reality to get lost in the fiction. So I giggled quietly to myself and my grin grew wicked with each flicker of Marta’s unsure gaze but rejoiced at the stone cold set of her jaw as she sent the opportunistic homophobe packing.

Honestly love her look, the way Marta’s whole appearance is attempting to sing “don’t be suspicious” but she desperately has to keep her eyes on the floor because they got the wrong sheet music and are fully intent on belting “I’m coming out” if she were to meet Fina’s eyes when they are left alone. And the way she is so firm with Petra, there’s no room to doubt that this woman is power personified, just as long as she doesn’t have to look at or acknowledge the hot brunette next to her, then it’s another story for another day, one which ends with sex on the shop floor (or so I would like to believe at least). But until then she will squash the bugs and will do so with a razor sharp determination which will leave you no doubt she will absolutely ruin you if you cross her (yes and thank you, please).

And there is something very heartwarming about seeing Fina who is so sure she stands alone be shocked to realise that Marta is on her side. Her boss, her social better if you’re to be crass, she does not side with Petra but rather takes her corner. Not just takes her corner, but goes into the ring and throws a couple of swings herself. Petra is done for and Fina, despite whatever the rest of the world will say, does not lose out on her position or her support even though all signs point to lesbian. At times I feel like Fina has the survival instinct of a male 18-25 with a fresh driver's license, especially when it comes to her penchant for coming out. I swear this woman comes out more often than I do and I have the good fortune of not living in a fascist dictatorship or the fifties. But the thing is, she’s had a very good track record with the people she loves and admires. Between Carmen and now Marta’s surprising response the fact that she later comes out to her father too becomes a little less of a free fall. Those close to her accept her for who she is, she’s got a pretty solid foundation of support. All things considered I don’t think she’s stupid or even particularly reckless, she knows the consequences of homosexuality, but when your lived experiences keep surprising you in a pleasant way then I think it is easy to become a little braver by each positive coming out.

This show is full of the usual tropes and is so textbook in a lot of ways, but this, Fina’s journey - it’s surprisingly refreshing and doesn’t feel like something I’ve seen often before. Despite all of the obstacles, the pain and the challenges thrown at her there is something in the way they tell the story of her sexuality that hits a little different. Marta they’re being pretty standard with and I wouldn’t write home about it, but Fina - it feels - new, soft, straightforward. I don’t know. But I do think in part that whatever it is or whatever you want to call it, it is actually why the show hooked me (that and the fact that Marta Belmonte has the kind of profile I could see myself willingly commit harakiri on, but that’s another story for a another time, one which does not end with sex on the shop floor unfortunately). Good scene though, good acting.

[1] Tux guy, Skinny, et al. What’s this?. in That one Christmas movie. (1993)

#suenos de libertad #mafin #marta x fina #sueños de libertad

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blubushie · 2 months

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Year... TF2 fandom is a bit ship obsessed. I love this fandom but when it comes to ships topic I'm not really into it. I love those characters and how they are potrated. I'm really scared to actually talk about it Lol

I once was asked about what I think about Solider x Demo. I said that I do see why people like it, but I want to stick to the canon where Solider literally dates Zhanna. I told that person that if you ship them as oc, then i'm not having a problem, but since this isn't canon, I'm not really a big fan of it. Of course, that person was really upset and angry. I got scared even more when that asked about Heavy xMedic. I said I could see why people love it. They are really close, but I see them as great cool co workers that care about each other [in their own way]. It made them angry even more. They went to sexualitys then AND OH BOY- It wasn't a pleasant talk. They were 100% convinced that Scout is trans and that Miss Pauling is lesbian and all- which I said this isn't really a proof that can back it up. But I tried to say that he could be supportive even is he wasn't trans. I tried the same with Miss Pauling. And they truth is thay we know nothing about her. Check we don't even know her name! At this point we know more about Administrator than Miss Pauling herself. So...I used logic and my opinion in this conversation. It was a bad idea. They started to call me names and actually blocked me for it.

Headcanons are nice [chekc I even made some myself!] but sometimes people forget that those are headcanons, not canon things.

Sorry for this. I guess I needed to say that

You'r blog is really nice. I feel comfortable being here 👍

Keep up the good vibe bud

Wish you good day!

I have nothing to add except that I'm also someone who heavily leans into canon. I like to extrapolate from it but I am very fond of canon at the end of the day, and even with my limited headcanons I still keep them reined in as "only headcanon" lmao

#blu whos #tf2

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ao3soidade · 2 years

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I’m definitely going to start writing some of the prompts y’all have sent me, but I had to get this out first. Canon-compliant Steddie, so... proceed with caution.

Eddie hadn’t had a chance to talk to Steve alone since they got back from the Upside Down. Not that he was looking for a chance to talk to him alone. He wasn’t. Yeah, it had been a pleasant surprise to find out Steve Harrington was actually a good guy, and maybe a slightly less pleasant one to realize that he was actually attracted to him, but that didn’t mean he had a crush or something.

Having a crush on Steve Harrington would be a very bad idea.

It didn’t matter if he had a lesbian best friend (Eddie wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. He just overheard. It wasn’t like he hadn’t suspected it before that, and she had clearly clocked him a mile away, so it was only fair.) No matter how accepting he was of Robin–shit, maybe he’d even be accepting of Eddie, if he knew–Steve was obviously, painfully straight.

Eddie wasn’t even expecting to talk to Steve alone again, not really. Even if he kind of wanted to. It was probably better if he didn’t. That would make it easier to convince himself that he didn’t have a crush.

After they got supplies at the War Zone, when they were safely secluded and everyone was getting to work on their plan, Eddie went into the empty Winnebago to clean up a bit. He wished he could take a shower, but anything helped when he was covered in alien slime and polluted lake water. So he washed his face, scrubbed as much dirt as he could off of his skin, even found some mouthwash in the medicine cabinet. And when he came out of the bathroom, Steve was waiting for him.

Eddie’s mouth opened, but no words came out. He closed his mouth, swallowed.

Steve smiled, and Eddie’s stomach did a flip. God damn it. He had a fucking crush.

“Hey,” Steve said. “I just wanted to, uh, make sure you got your vest back.” He held the vest out to Eddie.

For one insane moment, Eddie thought about telling him to keep it. Keep it? Really? A metalhead didn’t give away his battle vest, especially not to someone he barely knew. Eddie had spent years collecting all those pins and patches, saving up to get them at concerts, sewing them on by hand. He might as well ask the guy for his hand in marriage.

“Thanks,” Eddie said instead, taking the vest from Steve.

“So, how are you holding up?”

Eddie laughed. “Me? You’re the one who almost died, dude.”

Steve shrugged. “Not the first time.”

“That doesn’t make it better. Probably worse, actually.”

Steve shook his head. “I’ll be fine.” His smile looked a little forced now. Great. Eddie must be annoying him. He never did know when to keep his mouth shut.

“Yeah.” Eddie punched Steve’s arm lightly. “I know you will. You’re the big hero. You’re gonna kick the bad guy’s ass, save the town. Get the girl,” he added.

Steve looked down. “It’s not like that.”

Eddie’s heart sank. This could be their last conversation, and Eddie was fucking it up. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said quickly. “You’re right. I was hung up on Nancy for way too long. But we’re not right for each other. I– I get that now.”

“What do you mean? The way you look at each other,” Eddie said. “The way she jumped into the lake after you.”

“So did Robin.” Steve looked Eddie in the eye. Eddie couldn’t read his expression. “So did you.”

Eddie put his hands up. “Peer pressure, man. Everybody was doing it.” He made himself laugh, like it was no big deal, when he knew he must have been looking at Steve pretty much the same way Nancy had been.

“You didn’t accuse me and Robin of being in love.”

“Well, no. You’re obviously not.”

“I wish Dustin could see that. He’s constantly trying to get us together.”

Eddie laughed, for real this time. “Isn’t that kid supposed to be smart? Really barking up the wrong tree there.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, smiling a little before he stopped, looking curiously at Eddie. “Wait. What do you mean by that?”

“Robin’s– She’s not really– It just doesn’t seem like you’re her type.” He raised his eyebrows at Steve.

Steve frowned. “What do you–” Steve paused. He must know what Eddie meant by that, now. “Where did you hear that?” His voice was flat, cold.

“I heard you two talking about a girl named Vickie? But I kind of figured, before that. I just didn’t know for sure.”

“How?” Steve spoke quietly. It was the first time, in all of this, that Eddie had heard him actually sound scared. It made Eddie’s heart ache, to hear the fear in his voice, to see the cracks in that tough exterior. And it made Eddie’s heart ache to hear how much Steve cared about his friend, how much he wanted to protect her secret.

“I don’t know.” Eddie scrambled for an answer that wasn’t the truth, but also wouldn’t make Steve worry.

“You just figured? What do you mean? Did she do something? Did I do something?”

“No,” Eddie said quickly. “Nothing. I—” Fuck it. What was Steve going to do, beat him up? Haul him back to town and let the angry mob at him? No. Because Steve Harrington was a genuinely nice guy, a fact that was really fucking with Eddie’s head right now. “It’s just like gay intuition or something. Ask Robin. She has it too. The first time she looked at me, I knew she had my number. She could tell.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “She could tell? That you’re…” he trailed off.

“Gay. Yeah.”

“Oh.” Steve’s expression was unreadable again.

Eddie took a step back, licking his lips nervously. He thought it would be fine, or maybe just hoped so. Maybe the stupid crush was clouding his judgment. Either way, it was probably best to get out of punching range.

Steve was silent for a moment. Eddie thought Steve must be running through all of their interactions again with this new context. The casual touches, the compliments, the–in retrospect–obvious flirting. Eddie was such an idiot. He moved further away.

“Where are you going?”

“Nowhere. I just, uh– I don’t know.”

A look of realization crossed Steve’s face. “Dude, come on. I’m not gonna– Robin’s my best friend.”

“I know. But lots of guys are cool with it when it’s a girl. Two girls together is hot, right? A gay guy, that’s different.”

Steve laughed, shaking his head a little. “Yeah, it’s definitely different.”

What did he mean by that? Clearly he didn’t hate Eddie, didn’t seem disgusted by him, wasn’t rushing to get away from him. So what was the difference between how he felt about Robin being gay, and how he felt about Eddie being gay?

“How is it different?” Eddie shouldn’t ask. He probably didn’t want to know. But the words came out before he had the chance to stop them.

Steve stared at Eddie for a moment, brow furrowed and eyes searching. “I wish I’d listened to Dustin.”

“What?”

“He kept telling me I should meet you. That we would be friends. I didn’t believe him.”

Eddie shrugged, hands out. “Don’t worry about it, Steve. I felt the same way when he told me about you. Guess we were both wrong.”

Steve nodded. “But we can hang out. After the big fight. When all this is over.”

“I’m not sure if this is ever gonna be over for me, Steve.” He was beginning to doubt whether he would even be around for after.

“No. You’re right. It’s never over, not for any of us. That shit sticks with you.”

“So do murder charges.” Even if Eddie did make it through their plan alive, what did he really have waiting for him on the other side? Everyone thought he was a serial killer.

“No, I’m telling you, man. The government knows all about this Upside Down stuff. They always cover it up. They’re gonna come in and explain everything away, like they did with the mall. Everyone believes that fire story.”

“Steve.” Eddie looked at him sadly. “Did it ever occur to you that the easiest way to come up with a story everyone believes…” He paused. “Would be to use the story they already believe?”

“But–” Steve shook his head. “You’re innocent.”

“You think that’s ever stopped the government?”

“Jesus.” Steve sat on the couch, looking at his hands.

Eddie sat down next to him. “It’s okay,” he said. He put his arm up on the back of the couch, but kept it as far as he could from Steve’s shoulders. “You’re probably right. It’ll probably be fine.”

Steve looked intensely at Eddie. Their faces were inches apart, and Eddie’s heart was racing.

“You asked me earlier,” Steve said quietly. “Why it was different, with you and Robin. It’s actually, weirdly, exactly the same.” He looked away from Eddie, bit his lip. His eyes flicked briefly upward. “Because when Robin told me– At that time, I kind of had a thing for her.” Steve looked back at Eddie with a half smile and his eyebrows raised, expectant.

“I don’t–” Eddie pulled his arm toward himself, shrinking away from Steve.

Steve had a thing for Robin, and it was the same, somehow the same, with Eddie. But it couldn’t be the same. There was no way. Steve couldn’t have a thing for Eddie. He was straight, and in love with Nancy Wheeler, and wouldn’t have been caught dead with Eddie a week ago. How could it be the same?

Steve must have figured out that Eddie liked him. It wasn’t so different from the situation with Robin. One person had a crush that was rejected due to incompatible sexualities. Close enough.

Eddie’s first instinct was to deny it outright, but protesting too much might make it even more obvious. He decided to just play dumb. “What do you mean?”

“If you’re right,” Steve began. “If this doesn’t all work out, then this might be my only chance.”

“Your only chance for what?” Eddie barely got the words out before Steve’s lips were on his.

Eddie froze, for a second. This couldn’t be real. It didn’t make any sense. But, he reasoned, nothing about the events of the past few days made any sense. Why did this have to? He relaxed, parting his lips and feeling Steve’s tongue slide between them. He put a hand on Steve’s jaw, then wrapped it around to the back of his head, pulling him closer. Steve’s hand went to Eddie’s waist, and Eddie wanted to do the same, hovering briefly before he remembered the wounds. It was too bad, because he would have loved to get a hand under the vest– Eddie’s vest. Watching him run around in that vest had been driving Eddie crazy, and a part of him wanted to tear it off of him. Another part wanted to leave it on, to do unspeakable things to Steve while he was wearing it.

The hand on Eddie’s waist traveled to the edge of his t-shirt, toying with it tentatively before going underneath to touch Eddie’s skin. Eddie thought about stopping him, thought about how long it had been since he’d had a shower, how gross he probably was, but it was the end of the fucking world. Steve was gross, too, and Eddie thought it was hot as hell. Who could have guessed how good Steve Harrington looked covered in blood and grime?

Eddie pulled away to shrug out of his leather jacket. He had barely taken a breath while they were kissing, and he was panting a little.

“Need a second to catch your breath?” Steve smirked at Eddie. His breathing was even, seemingly unaffected.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “Not all of us were on the swim team.”

“Captain of the swim team,” Steve corrected.

“I thought it was co-captain.”

“So you were listening.”

“You caught me.” Eddie smiled, then leaned forward to kiss Steve again.

It wasn’t long before Steve broke the kiss again, his eyes traveling up and down Eddie’s body.

“Co-captain needs a break now?” Eddie asked.

“No,” Steve said. “I can hold my breath for almost five minutes.”

“That,” Eddie said, tilting his head and widening his eyes. “Is very interesting.” Eddie had a lot of thoughts about that, but he tried not to dwell on them for too long. He was getting ahead of himself.

“Is it?” Steve asked, smiling. Eddie wondered if Steve knew what he was thinking. He also wondered if he should be embarrassed about that, but he didn’t have much time to think about it before Steve was pulling off Eddie’s shirt. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said. It was more than okay. It was great, almost unbelievably so. It would be perfect if not for the circumstances, and if not for Steve’s injuries, which Eddie eyed warily. “Um, I don’t want to hurt you.”

Steve shook his head. “Don’t worry about me right now.” He ran his hands down Eddie’s chest, stopping at his belt. He raised an eyebrow. “Handcuffs?”

Eddie smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Steve?”

Steve smiled. “Yeah, I think I would.” He pulled the end of Eddie’s belt out of the loops, and Eddie’s heart was beating so hard that he could hear it pounding in his head, couldn’t hear much else.

And then the pounding was outside his head, on the door of the Winnebago, and they sprang apart.

“What are you guys doing in there?” Dustin was yelling through the door. “Why is the door locked?”

“You locked the door?” Eddie whispered.

Steve gave Eddie a shrug and a half-smile, like who, me? Smug bastard. He planned this. Or at least part of it. Eddie wondered if Steve had guessed how far it would go. How far it would have gone, if not for Dustin banging on the door.

“Guys?” Dustin’s voice got louder. “Is everything okay in there?”

“It’s fine,” Steve yelled. “Can you give me a goddamn minute, please?”

“Hurry the hell up,” Dustin yelled back. “We’ve got shit to do!”

Steve shook his head. “That kid. I swear to god.” He looked at Eddie, who had fixed his belt and was now putting his shirt back on. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Eddie said. “I, um– That was nice.”

“Could have been nicer,” Steve said, gesturing toward the door. “Maybe it’s good he interrupted. I didn’t even take you out to dinner first.”

Eddie laughed. It was weird, thinking about going on an actual date with Steve Harrington. He couldn’t quite picture it.

“Now we have to get through this, so I can take you out to celebrate. Dinner, movie, the whole thing. Or whatever you want, if that doesn’t sound–”

“Dinner and a movie sounds good,” Eddie said. It did sound good. Even if he couldn’t picture it, he would have liked to. He wanted to see what that looked like.

Steve smiled. “Okay, then it’s a date.”

Eddie smiled back, nodding. “Okay.” He really, really would have liked to see that.

Later, when they were all dressed in probably-useless tactical gear, laden with makeshift weapons and lofty plans, Eddie promised Steve that he wouldn’t try to be a hero. He smiled, as genuinely as he could, but Steve didn’t look convinced. When he finally turned away, leaving Dustin and Eddie to their part of the plan, Eddie stopped him.

“Hey, Steve?” When Steve turned around, Eddie held his gaze as long as he could, drinking in the sight of his face for the last time. Eddie wasn’t sure what he wanted to say.

You go with Dustin. Let me do the dangerous part. I’ve got nothing to lose. But he had Steve to lose, and that was the whole thing, wasn’t it? I love you. But that wasn’t quite right. He barely knew him, he couldn’t be that sure yet. I could have fallen in love with you. That was better. That was true. He was already partway there. I’m having second thoughts. I don’t know if I can do this. The plan, the plan. He could do that. That was the easy part. But Eddie had been cooking up his own plan, for a while now, and Steve had messed it up. Steve had given him something to look forward to, a reason to get through this. The date. Eddie knew it could never happen. There were dozens of reasons why it couldn’t happen. But he wanted it to.

I’m sorry I won’t be able to make it to our date. That was what Eddie wanted to say. That was what Eddie would say, if he had the nerve, if he weren’t such a coward. But maybe, if things went according to plan, Eddie’s plan, Steve could remember him as a hero.

Eddie had to say something. He’d hesitated too long. People would start to get suspicious.

“Make him pay.”

Steve looked confused. He held Eddie’s gaze for a moment, searching for something, but Eddie didn’t give anything away. A short nod and Steve was off, still hopeful, still determined. Still the hero.

#steddie #steddie fanfic #stranger things fanfic #soidade #steddie fanfiction #this was supposed to be a short fun thing to post on tumblr but unfortunately it is neither short nor fun #unedited but if people like it perhaps I'll clean it up and post on ao3 #I didn’t realize tumblr didn’t keep my italics.#horrifying #I added them back in

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miss-saytr · 1 year

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I watched you come out to your dad.

Your father is a very grumpy man who sits on the couch after a long day of work and watches football and sitcoms on television. He wears a white tank top that you usually see all white American middle aged dads wear, complete with a bottle of beer in his hand. Not a can guy, a bottle. And if you see him outside any longer than ten minutes, he’ll pull out a cigarette or cigar and smoke it to take some edge off. I haven’t seen him outside for long and not smoke, but that’s just my assumption.

He’s the type of guy that gives you republican middle aged man vibes, someone who’s up top in his company that he does not care much for his employees, even if that’s true or not. You can take one look at his face and think that. And I know assumptions are not the best to make, but every time I hear a story about him, it’s usually short, but in the end it gives me those vibes of him as a man. He hates the younger generation, he says crap you hear on television, and he cusses under his breath when someone screws up. He’s just not a very pleasant man to think of and I don’t enjoy thinking about him or knowing he’s going to be at the next outing.

I almost forgot this was supposed to be about you coming out to him. I’ll get to the point.

Your friend, no, acquaintance mentioned it when he was in the room and you had no other choice but to explain yourself to him. It was really shitty of him to expose you like that but that’s a rant I’ll get to another day. The fulcrum of the thing you hid for a years had finally been opened like a lid on a kettle for him to look inside and see you were his lesbian daughter. And you had this crack in your voice that altered your accent to make you squeak like a rodent that was caught by a cat. You talked like you were about to cry but you pushed out anger more forward in a way that you didn’t want to make yourself look more vulnerable than you already were. Now you were the cat raising its hair.

I was kind of ready to just walk you to your bedroom so you could cry, but to my surprise I saw a look on his face I never thought I’d see in a grumpy, cigarette-needing man.

He had this innocent expression on his face as if he was looking at a kitten who had hurt itself. The way he reached his hands out were gentle, and the wrap around his daughter with his hairy arms felt warm just by looking at it. “No, I would never stop loving you! That’s who you are!” And I saw him lift you up in the air and spin you around as you stopped sniffling and started laughing. He was so accepting of you, and the people-your-age crowd watching all chanted “awww” including me, because it was so sweet that he was so gentle for his vulnerable daughter.

A little bit of the aftermath happened when he put you down and you didn’t want to let go. I laughed to myself and made a joke, “I wish my dad loved me like that,” and thought nothing of it. So the outing ended and I went home and I went to bed.

“I wish my dad loved me like that.”

I was thinking of texting you but I didn’t because I was distracted by the show I currently really like. So I forgot about it and watched it. So when it ended and I turned my phone off, I remembered what I said.

“I wish my dad loved me like that.”

I kind of feel guilty for making that joke because my dad does love me, but I know where it comes from. What I meant to say was,

“I wish that would happen when or if I come out to my dad.”

I don’t think he’d wrap his arms around me. I don’t think he’d lift me in the air and spin me. I don’t think his masculine voice would change to reassure me during a vulnerable moment of my life.

Your dad is pretty cool for doing all that, though. I’m proud of you.

#writblr #writer #writers on tumblr #writing #writers and poets #coming out #lesbian #experience #lgbtq community #lgbt #lgbtq #queer poems #queer poetry #queer poets on tumblr #lgbt pride #coming out story

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lumilasi · 7 months

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In relation to the snow witch/cat lesbian duo, here are the said witch's dads. The first one, Marcus is AGES OLD character I've had for a decade that I still love a lot, and I actually didn't change his design from the old one almost at all? I simply drew him better now, thanks to having my drawing skills improve at least somewhat in the past decade.

Lethas is an amalgamation of an entire family of old dragonic deity characters squished together. I'll draw his dragon form sometime later.

...The font I'm using is kinda not matching for the fantasy vibe, but I really didn't feel like doing graphic design so to speak rn lmao

Fun Facts below:

Marcus is a Romanian noble in heritage, though local villagers rarely see him, and think of their count as bit of a weird hermit. Pleasant and polite enough, but odd.

Marcus doesn't have human staff, he uses his powerful ice magic to create icy entities that act as servants.

Marcus' Patron Deity is Jack Frost

Irina was abandoned at his doorstep as a toddler, and he was initially hesitant in taking her in, but saw potential in her already strong magic, and was admittedly kind of lonely living there alone

He and Lethas are in a mostly platonic, non-sexual relationship, but they do come off like an old married couple that bicker constantly, and clearly have a very strong emotional bond between one another.

Marcus is gay (and basically anyone who meets him can tell he's not straight, there's no way lol) and Lethas basically has no sexual/romantic drive whatsoever given the way his kind are born. (So he's Aro-ace if you apply human labels)

They started out as rivals, but overtime kind of become each other's only company (up until Irina showed up)

Lethas was actually frozen as a statue in dragon form in front of the Vasile castle for almost fifty years, and was released accidentally by Irina when she was 8.

She thought he was going to eat her dad, only to see the two start bickering and head inside for tea, as if him being frozen by Marcus for five whole decades wasn't unusual. (It was an accident, Marcus actually thought he'd accidentally killed Lethas and was relieved to find out that wasn't the case, even if he doesn't show it openly)

Lethas is a soul dragon, a being born from the lost souls of dead warriors perished in wars. All his weapons are formed from soul fire.

Lethas was born sometime around the age of the roman empire, though can't remember exactly when. Marcus is couple hundred years old, but he did spend about half of it on ice literally, hence he actually appears younger than he should. (Long story, he met Lethas because the dragon released him from ice accidentally)

Lethas breathes fire like average dragons, though his soul fire is immensely powerful and can't be put out in any other way, except essentially powerful exorcism magic or a soul eater's devouring of it.

Lethas immediately took into his role as the more strict and responsible dad, the first thing he did when waking up was to pick Irina up in his dragonic form and place her gently on the balcony of her room, patting her head, before turning around to bitch at Marcus.

The swirly pattern on Lethas' cloak doesn't just glow in soul form, but they move and swirl around too.

Split hair and coloring with Lethas symbolizes the duality of life in all its forms; life and death, sky and earth, fire and water, war and peace, etc. or that's what Lethas likes to claim anyway. Marcus suspects he just thinks it looks cool.

Marcus' coat turns into hues of blue and white when he fully activates his powers. The snowflake/star design on it is actually the center of the Warlock sect symbol for this world's Arcane Council (body that governs primary magic users, I.E beings whose main thing is magic, rather than the magic being result of being some sort of mythical being)

Technically, you're not supposed to remove parts of the symbol if you wish to utilize it, but Marcus didn't like the hostile looking spiky eyes surrounding the central star pattern, so he didn't include them + made the colors more to his taste.

#artists on tumblr #oc illustration #oc reference #dragon #warlock #lumi's art scribbles #lumi's chaotic creations #Night city parlor #The mage and the mobster #Marcus Vasile #Soul Dragon Lethas #my oc #old oc revamp #Vasile Castle

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joemerl · 1 year

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And the same to everyone going on that journey with him.

#Dracula #Dracula Daily #Jonathan Harker #Bram Stoker #Meme #I Wish All Lesbians a Very Pleasant Evening

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proxyedgy · 9 months

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So, a few months ago I remembered Houseki no Kuni was a cool thing I watched once upon a time and decided to look up the manga. And then I read it. Past where the anime adapted. Up to chapter 75, then I stopped because I am not in the state of mind to periodically wait for unfinished stories like I did in high school, so I'd rather stop at a pleasant point and wait a good while to pick it back up.

And, all's well and good. I had a good time and am still extremely invested in whatever new way this author decides to break my heart with. Catharsis and stuff. Yep.

But then comes November, I go to an anime event. With the intention of buying myself something. With my own money. Which I am stingy about because I mostly use to buy food since I hate cooking-- Bottom line, I am walking around. There is hardly any merch I would like to have. Still, I am having a good time being on my own and going at my own pace. There is a manga stand.

There is Houseki no Kuni. First two volumes. Translated in Portuguese. They have holographic covers. I buy before even asking the price. This is a historical event. I can count on one hand the number of manga I adore that get translated, and that number is now three.

I come home. I look up the publishing house website. There are more. I buy then in the beginning of december like a happy joyful idiot and they take far too long to get to my hands because of a silly little detail called xmas. Never heard of it, to be honest.

And now, now, finally, after all hope was lost, I received my package. Brought it home in quite the mood. Forgot to have dinner and am now suffering a headache because it was just oh so important to read the same story I read before, only with far higher quality than the scans I found online. And in portuguese. Have I mentioned that?

There is, a certain quirk, let's say, with portuguese. A detail that almost clashes with this particular story. Because this is, after all, a story about gorgeous gemstone people who are very much agender lesbians. And portuguese, a very unromantic language, absolutely loathes the idea of not gendering every word and concept. Therefore, when translated, all of the gemstones use he/him pronouns. I can't explain how that makes me feel, but it is a happy feeling, or at least so I'm inclined to believe. Male pronouns, female androgyny. Interesting choice.

Quite a lot of choices are make when adapting this kind of material and they were a joy to notice, I'll say. The way the word "sensei" has been translated, but his name remained as "Kongou", unlike every other gemstone. A peculiar detail, a good hint, shows the care put into this. The gems themselves, many pleasant words to see in my own tongue, some of which I had never read before and made me wish I had a class on gemstone geology. The more delicate moments, like turning the original "fu-an" syllables of the lunarian speak into something else while retaining the wind sound.

My, the work of an adaptation, it's such a creative endeavour. Translators have it hard, but to see something go a step beyond to be accessible in another language, in my language, like this, I have nothing but respect for every choice made.

And not to mention, how different it is, to have the book in your hands. Manga does not retain the scent I find familiar and comforting from my childhood and teenage years, but their rough pages offer quite a nice experience too. And, most of all, I find myself scanning them for details more easily, being far more absorbed into the lines when I can hold them close to my face like this.

This manga is quite a beauty. The lines are so simple, and that makes it so much easier to follow. The best part, however, is the sheer number of wide panels. Blacked out panels, with white lines. I've never seen a story that plays with panels like that. I love every single one. There is such a sense of shock, and scale, and emptiness, and feelings which I can't name. It's great, really.

Now, pacing, that is the despicable evil that makes me ramble so much. Because it's one of those stories, that ends every chapter with a cliffhanger, and it's such a tall cliff, I am indeed holding the thread from which these characters hang over this tremendous fall. I know the story, I know what happens, I read it recently, it's fresh in memory. Yet, yet, I am shaking right now, because the last volume translated ends, like every other before, in a scene so utterly tense that I cannot reach catharsis through any means other than complaining.

Yes, this was all a huge complaint, yet still I cannot bring myself to dislike even a single thing. The first time I saw this story, it felt mean-spirited, in some way I couldn't articulate at the time. It is, truly, stained in hopelessness, however that is not the same as despair. As I read it now, perhaps I understand it better, even if the sting still hurts the same every time. It brings up frustrations, and annoyance, and impatience. It's a story that begs for what-ifs, but couldn't proceed any other way. I find that true for all my favorite tales, so I suppose it's just fair that this one gets my number three spot.

I love, love, love you, Houseki no Kuni, Land of the Lustrous, Terra das Gemas.

#rambly #houseki no kuni #i need to yell at the sea maybe that'll calm me down

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terra-feminarum · 1 year

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As a detransitioner, how much do you think gender identity is built by gender stereotypes?

I don’t know. But here is my guess.

TLDR; I think gender stereotypes affect gender identification a lot but it’s complicated and also capitalist concept of self is at play.

Long answer: First of all, I do “believe in gender identity”, as I conceptualize identity as a sense of self based on tangible real life experiences. I’m white. I’m a sister. I’m a gardener. I’m a woman who has been perceived to be a male for a certain time period of her life, but I’m not an actual male. And so on. Many people also identify with the gendered stereotypes that are connected to their sex. People identify with religions that might not be true in an objective sense, but the identities are true – people truly are Christians and such.

So what I think we’re talking about here isn’t gender identity per se but the disconnect between lived experience and the idea that you can feel you’re something you have never experienced. We’re talking about fantasy instead of identity. “I wish I was this-and-that, because my mental image of this-and-that is pleasant and my idea of what I actually am is unpleasant.”

Not all transgender people adhere to stereotypes. What about trans women who just physically transition but never wear heels, make-up or act like stereotypes? They exist, just as there are trans men who are very feminine. Does it mean there aren’t stereotypes involved or are the stereotypes just more subtle? A lot of trans men watch drag and are very into wearing “women’s clothes”, as long as they won’t be perceived as “women” – so they want femininity but without the burden of all things associated with womanhood.

A lot of people with gender dysphoria say it feels entirely physical, like their bodies just don’t match the mental map they have of their body. Their bodies feel foreign to them; they are repulsed by their bodies even when they are alone.

Could it be they have developed these physical feelings as a reaction to the social discomfort they feel about being associated with certain gendered stereotypes?

Human psyche is very capable of developing symptoms that feel entirely physical. There are people who identify as “therians”, non-human animals. They have phantom limb feelings of tails and ears they think they should have. If transitioning into a non-human animal would be possible, would these people be miserable unless they were granted the access to have the tail they always knew is part of their body?

And then there are conversion disorders. They aren’t analogous to transgenderism but they do highlight the power human psyche has when in distress. Conversion disorders were more common when people didn’t have the cultural vocabulary to describe their mental anguish. Instead, people became blind or deaf or paralyzed or had seizures, fully experiencing these things as true, but having no physical deficit that would cause the problem. That’s how powerful the human psyche is.

I wonder if we have the cultural vocabulary to describe the anguish sexism and patriarchy causes us? Or are we like a soldier who will become physically paralyzed instead of saying: I'm scared and I don't want to hurt anyone.

In addition, culture affects the mental disorders humans experience. Certain psychological phenomena are only present in certain cultural context where the symptoms make sense individually and on a collective level. I'm fairly certain gender dysphoria is like this. Many cultures recognize people who cross gendered boundaries and inhabit the social role of the opposite gender, both genders or either, but I don't know whether these experiences include any kind of distress over one's physical body or whether these roles resemble more something like butch lesbians or feminine gay men.

As far as I know, there isn’t any coherent theory explaining gender dysphoria as something universal and inherent. To me it looks like this: A person strongly believes or wants something (I’m a man). It is incongruent with the body the person has (a female body) and with how others treat that person (societal role of a woman with all the stereotypes attached). This disconnect between the want and the reality causes distress. Just like the disconnect between “I feel I should be beautiful” and the reality of “I’m not conventionally attractive” will cause distress, ruminating, excessive time in front of the mirror, plastic surgery. The distress isn’t caused the physical body itself (being unattractive or being a female) but the cultural connotations attached to this physical reality – like people thinking you’re stupid, or that you need to defer to men.

Personally my transition was very much affected not only gender stereotypes, but what these stereotypes caused: misogyny, lack of representation of women as complex humans, sexual harassment. One huge factor was that transition existed and I was able to find information on the subject, so my fantasy self became a potential real self, and so, in a way, it became reality at some point. If the means to transition didn’t exist, I doubt my dysphoria would have been too deep. After all, I’ve despaired over other things as a young teenager: I wished I could be tall, I wished I could be Japanese, and so on and so on. Alas, “racial transition” does not exist and becoming tall isn’t very viable either, so I grew out of these thoughts and learned to understand I’m actually a human being instead of a character I should and could design to be as cool as possible.

The current capitalist culture teaches us our bodies are changeable, and in fact, changing or enhancing one’s body is almost a duty. Existing just as you are is neglect. You’re expected to self-fulfill by changing your body. You are expected to design yourself like you are a character.

To be honest, sexism and homophobia in this society is so deep, I have empathy towards people who will solve their distress by transition. It's a very individualistic solution, solving nothing at the larger scale. But as much as I wished every woman would ditch make-up and heels and have self-respect, they won’t, either. And so some women transition into men, some women defer to men. There is still much to do.

In conclusion, I think to develop incongruence of gender identity, we need strict stereotypical gender roles, but in addition, it is driven by an individualistic culture of “self-development” and the cultural gaze being turned inwards, everything revolving around one’s one self and self-actualization. What is also needed is the idea of being able to change your sex, or changing the meaning of sex altogether. We rarely despair over something that isn't realistically possible.

#detrans #gender identity #gender dysphoria

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grungeeuvu · 1 year

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A through Z (minus the ones you've already answered)

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

My favourite ship at the moment is FengQing (Feng Xin X Mu Qing from TGCF) and I am constantly talking @astrowaffles 's ear off about them. Platonically, I'm always mentally ill about the Shiratorizawa team and how they all support each other. Family-wise, I can't get Shen Twin aus out of my head

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Yaku and Suga from Haikyuu, both platonic and romantic :) I think either way would be really sweet and funny

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Shiragoshi. I see no appeal in it for either of them and it kinda just gives me the ick

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Anything with Karasuno first years that aren't the stereotypical main ships except maybe Yamahina. Idk I just feel like Tsuki x either of the volleyball idiots would go terribly and someone would end up getting hurt.

Also, Yachi is very much a lesbian to me and I'm taking that to the grave 🫡

Also, kawagata doesn't click with me. I prefer reongata, since they're both third years and at least had dialogue with each other

For a non Haikyuu pairing, I've got to say giyushino or shinogiyu - I don't know if it's hinted canon or just widely popular but I really can't care for it. I don't hate it, I just have no interest

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I haven't altered the fandom with it but I made #RichPrinceFuckerVirgil a trend with my friends back in 2019

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

The timeline gets a bit confuddled here but my first otp was either prinxiety (Roman X Virgil from Sanders Sides) or klance (Keith X Lance from VLD)

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

I scoped out the Skulduggery Pleasant fandom and I'm not planning on going back (which sucks because the books are amazing)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Either Zuko, Tsukki, Mu Qing, or Ming Fan (can you tell I'm a fan of grouchy people with the ability to do good?)

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

As someone very neutral over Asahi, I really have to say that he is portrayed as the ace amazingly. Even though he isn't the main character and can't score all the epic points, he's still an inherently powerful force and you always trust in him when the ball goes his way, as this viewer.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Feng Xin :)

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Reincarnation fics (TGCF)

Multi-chap AU fics (Haikyuu)

ObaMitsu content (KNY)

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

The song "Black Sheep" by Gin Wigmore reminds me of Hua Cheng/TGCF calamities :))

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Sendai Frogs as a forced together bounty hunting crew in a space au that becomes found family 💪

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

DSMP/MCYT - after Technoblade sadly passed away and then the finale was handled so clumsily, I just couldn't bother with it anymore. However, I still watch a lot of those YouTubers today, like Tommyinnit and Jack Manifold :)

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Shiratorizawa Third Years for the win!!!!

@/baguantte has an AMAZING piece of fanart for all of them which I regularly return to look at :))

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Shen Yuan was chronically ill before he transmigrated and he died not just due to choking but because a seizure happened during his rage-eating. We know he's an unreliable narrator, hence why he never mentions this - he hated being ill and felt ashamed by it, so he never wants to think about it now he's no longer sick.

A prompt for this could be Shen Qingqui gets wife plotted and the consequence is far too similar to how he lived his old life that he keeps nearly breaking over it. Could lead to an identity reveal or just some good ol' hurt/comfort

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Yamagata has clinical depression. Idrk where this came from but it's something I very much stand by and have lots of interlocking ideas with so, yeah, no one is changing my mind on that.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Mu Qing (TGCF/Heaven Official's Blessing) - he's my favourite because of his complicated character. He says negative things, the rumours about him is how he is cold and unkind, yet we see his actions and behaviour portrayed very differently. He's a truly complicated guy.

Goshiki Tsutomu (Haikyuu) - I've written an essay on him which I now cannot find??? I'll have to fish it out but basically he's a really well written character whom performs so hard despite the anxiety he's visibly under being in such an infamous team

Shen Yuan (SVSSS/Scum Villain's Self Saving System) - he's a nerd who died and is now a hot guy but has the nerve to complain about it, he's just like me and I love that.

V - Which character do you relate to the most?

It sounds dramatic and emo as fuck, but Mu Qing. I just get him on a very deep level.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Major Character Death or just Character Death in general - I always find it very cheap or unfulfilling. To get me on board with Major Character Death takes a LOT

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

The Girlboss X Malewife ship - I don't mind the genders, I don't care for dynamics... if that ship is in there, it's likely to be my favourite!! See FengQing and KyouHaba for reference lol

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Bnha, Bungo Stray Dogs and a bit of Mob Psycho

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

AHHHHH OKAY UHHH I accidentally got my mother into not just Haikyuu and Demon Slayer but also TGCF?? We've been watching The Untamed together too - she really wants me to read her manga series Boys Over Flowers and I've been meaning to haha

#ask game #space <3 #this took forever im so sorry 😭😭😭

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fancy-a-dance-brigadier · 1 year

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🌿how does creating make you feel? and 💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

🌿how does creating make you feel?

I answered this question here!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Ok you are going to regret asking this because there’s a Star Wars fic I’m working on at the moment that has been living rent free in my brain for several months now, and given the opportunity I will yell about it in great detail to anyone who asks. Only @nebulouscoffee can attest to how insane I am about this WIP (and shout out to them for helping me flesh out this AU, and for coming up with so many great ideas for it!!! Bugs bunny *our* self-indulgent Star Wars AU etc etc)

Basically, it’s a fic/fic series that’s set in an AU where Padmé is force sensitive and Anakin isn’t, and I’m planning on retelling the entire story of the Star Wars based on that premise (well, the first six movies + The Clone Wars, at least. But I am eyeing the sequel trilogy like a vulture let me tell you because I’m desperate to give those films the AU treatment). It also ends up as a role swap for Luke and Leia as well, with Leia being raised on Tatooine and Luke on Alderaan (Leia gets to be a Jedi too, basically). But other than those role swap changes, I’m also going to address a bunch of things I wish the films had explored more/done better. So, rather than writing paragraph after paragraph elaborating on these changes, I will now present you with a bullet point list of “Things about the Jedi Padmé AU that make Fancy go insane”

Excessive Padmé character analysis

Explorations of the ethical issues of Clone rights (feat. A Clone OC that I’m incredibly attached to, his name is Tatao and I’m love him)

Said Clone OC is GNC af and is kind of punk rock about it

Slavery on Tatooine is kind of a much bigger deal

Maybe Naboo’s political system is kind of messed up??? Did you ever think about that George?????

Padmé’s handmaidens are important now!!! Because my favourite hobby is plucking female characters with no lines out of sci-fi properties and giving them ✨Depth✨

The destruction of Alderaan has much more weight than in the films

Han Solo cringefail compilation

Anakin still has no father, he just has two lesbian mums now (one of whom is trans 🏳️‍⚧️)

Obi-Wan actually facing the consequences of his actions for once

Luke dressing like David Bowie, Prince, Freddy Mercury, Elton John, and all the members of ABBA combined. Think disco Mark Hamill on German television

Explorations of whether the Jedi Order is actually a corrupt organisation (spoiler alert, it kind of is)

Obi-Wan getting to raise chaotic bantha child Leia

Skysolo for real ☀️

Ahsoka getting to be the cool Aunty to the twins like she always deserved

Trauma and violence and blood and killing and darkness and torment and hatred and guilt and improvised surgery on your boyfriend

The power of a childhood lullaby is something that can be so crucial to saving the galaxy, actually

And, just for good measure, here’s a preview of the very first chapter (which I will put under a ‘read more’ because this post is long enough as it is):

She had first felt it long ago, in the dark, in the nighttime, when she had woken from a nightmare to the sense of a soothing energy coursing through the air and stroking her cheek and drying her infantile tears. Good - it was always supposed to be good, pleasant and oh so very helpful, to reach out and make itself known to the little girl who lived so lonely with only her ambitions to guide her. Secret, a lovely secret, all to herself. If she shared it, it might leave her, and so she hid it in her heart night after night and day after day, even as she felt it in her blood and her bones and in all the little cracks and crevices of her thoughts.

Everywhere. The feeling is everywhere. And it is yours to treasure.

There were people out there in this wide world who shared her secret, or so she learned as she grew. The stories said that they were brave and strong and kind, good people with good powers and she could share her secret with them if she wished. So many times she had been tempted, to call upon the knights with their flashing swords and words of wisdom, to seek them out from their hiding place. Hiding place.

People suffered. People passed away. People rotted. People wept. So where were those knights with their flashing swords and their words of wisdom and their beautiful little secret now?

Nowhere. They will not come to aid you. Aid yourself, you do not need them.

Secret. A good secret. To keep it or not to keep it - yes, she would hide it. She learned that if she shared her secret the stagnant knights would find her, and now nothing could be worse than being drawn into their web of passivity. Yes, she would hide it. Keep it to herself. Grow her power inside of herself, practice and practice when no one was around to see her, in all the dark places that nobody would think to look.

Elsewhere. Find your power elsewhere. With me, my dear, plant the wretched seed and let it grow.

Someday soon, a beloved voice will call her name, and her secret will destroy the love and the life in him and return him to dust. Someday soon, a shattered heart will cry out vengeance and use her undead name as a battle cry for his own death wish. Someday soon, a girl of the sands will see the history inside her eyes and resurrect her withered and atrophied compassion.

All that would come to pass would be hers to create. But as that little girl settled back into sleep with a secret to keep her safe, all of it was a dream to her.

#ask game #Star Wars #fancyfics #Jedi Padmé au

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ilikeyoshi · 1 year

Text

haha. ah.

i finally figured out where all these nightmares of 'being blamed and severely punished by my aunt and/or ucle' are coming from. i thought it was anxiety about being 'too autistic' for them, and i think it's still kinda that, but it's also definitely very much an ongoing (five years and counting) issue of having to perform. to consider my every action with extreme care, lest i be declared 'not fun to live with' and get my whole family (mom/sister/me) kicked onto the street.

i can't say anything 'rude' to them. even though they're racist every fucking day. even though they yell at their kid over every stupid thing imaginable, including when he yells back, which they taught him. even though they're crazy fucking conservatives who think chinese people are the source of all evil. even though they've repeatedly brought covid into this house and threatened all of us, including my mom with chronic bronchitis and my sister with a history of asthma, by doing so. even though i hate them more with every passing day for how utterly heartless they are about everything from delivery drivers who don't speak much english to all their trans and gay friends they claim to love so much.

they think i'm a "good liberal" because i "don't care" about all that "crazy extremist stuff". and like. i'm so fucking tired. i'm sick to goddamn death of it. but we can't leave for 2 1/2 more years. they saved our fucking lives and in return i have to sit through some of the grossest fucking tirades i've ever heard because genuinely, if living with us isn't "fun and cool and easy" for them, they might kick us out. some days i wish they'd have just sold the last house out from under us (like they were going to so their daughter could go to college. you know, just make four people fucking homeless) and i was living out of a damn minivan in california right now. it'd be torture but at least i wouldn't have to lie and lie and lie about myself just to keep a roof over my family's head.

i remember when i was doing this with my parents. when i was scared of coming out to them, as a lesbian or as agender, so i didn't for a long time, i lied about everything i am. all the secrecy and performing eats the fuck away at you. i was exhausted. i'm exhausted now.

but at least i knew in the back of my head my parents wouldn't actually kick me out. at least, despite all the fear from what i'd seen other friends endure with their families, i knew mine would accept me if i could just speak. but when my mom tells me we have to be 'pleasant roommates' because she, SHE believes her own brother might throw us out otherwise... seeing all the shit they say about goddamn everything...

i think that's where all these nightmares are coming from. they're always about me 'breaking' the performance and being attacked as if by wolves. they're simultaneously terrifying and Fucking Cathartic. what i wouldn't GIVE to scream up and down the house about how much i hate them.

two and a half more years and we can get the fuck out of here. no more performing. no more whittling myself down to an absolute mockery of my own humanity just so we can be 'pleasant', like fucking pets they bought on a whim and would dump on a deserted road if we stopped being 'fun to have around'. maybe then i'll stop having the nightmares.

#huge ugly vent post sorry #i hate my current living situation lmao #yoshi talks //

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