#I also found the final boss extremely underwhelming

[gravedice]

okay, some quick sonic frontiers thoughts

If you like Sonic, you'll like this game. If you you're not already a fan of Sonic, I don't think you'll enjoy it.

The story is fun, it's not particularly well written or executed, which is kind of par for the course in a Sonic game, but what I think is important is that I wish it was written better or executed better? It has a lot of potential, which most Sonic games can't say. Usually the story is very one dimensional, but it tried super hard to be multidimensional.

The game play is your normal glitchy weird physics Sonic gameplay. Which I'm not complaining about, but they really over engineered this game. There's like, 7 different collectibles all used for different things, when they didn't need that to be the case. They could have easily only used like, 3 or 4 things. Like, there's four stats of Sonic's you can upgrade, there's 3 collectibles you can use to upgrade them, and there's two different guys you give these collectibles to in order to upgrade these stats. It really should have only been one guy, especially because one will let you reallocate the stat levels that the other guy gives you, they should have just been the same guy.

My biggest point of contention with this game is the collectibles. You're given an expansive world to explore. Normally with this set up you'd have X number of items to collect that are scattered around, which finding these items would reward you for exploring. But any items you can get from exploring, you can also get by not exploring. There was a point near the end of my run where I actually had to do some hunting for some items, and it's cuz I got a little lazy and was ignoring things, but otherwise you don't need to explore the game at all, you can just go from mission objective to mission objective.

A lot of these collectibles are marked on the map too, which at first I was trying to check all of them off on the map, and trying to 100% things, but eventually realized that my efforts were useless, and that the game didn't care if I checked this off the map or not, and that the optimum way to play the game was just doing the mission objectives.

Which, once I stopped trying to explore and stopped trying to collect everything, and just followed the mission objectives, the game got way more enjoyable for me. I still tried to fill the map in, because that unlocks fast travel, and I still tried to S rank all the cyberspace tracks cuz they were fun traditional Sonic gameplay, but the main point they tried to make for this game was it's open world, and the open world was unnecessary.

And there's also like, a blood moon type event where the enemies respawn, but they added in falling star chunks you can pick up that activate a slot machine that takes up an important chunk of the screen so you can't comfortably do anything else when this is happening. There's a lot in this game that is begging for your attention, and too many things that forcefully stop the game and say LOOK AT ME, and this is the worst example cuz you can't just walk away from it.

Final thoughts, the game is just majorly over engineered. Like they kept trying to expand the scope of it and got lost in the sauce. It's got a lot of charm, and it was nice seeing them attempt to take flat Sonic characters and give them depth and drive. They seemed to indicate in the story that we might get spin offs with Amy, Tails and Knuckles, but that could have just been them giving them the feel of depth and not actually hinting at anything.

I'd be tempted to replay it at this point, tbh.

[eight-freakin-gids]

Horror Double Feature Review: Longlegs and Angel Hare

      I think I really like comparing and contrasting things. All the great (and bad) stories I get to experience, I don't always feel compelled to review them. But give me two things to review at the same time? Now we're talking. Compared to my previous review about Another Crab's Treasure and Slay the Princess, at least there's more overlap between these two stories. I won't be summarizing, but I will talk about some story spoilers. 

      I'll tag this with trigger warnings, but I briefly mention death and suicide in this review. I'll also be talking about Christianity, if that's something you don't care to read about.

      So the other day I watched the film Longlegs, and in short I found it average. I didn't really know much going into it, aside from what my sister had told me about the film's marketing. That, and that Nicholas Cage was in it.

      Ultimately, I do have quite a bit to say to this film's credit. Everyone who contributed to the look of this film really outdid themselves. There are so many shots in this film that make viewers uneasy in subtle and interesting ways. To sum it up in one word, I'd call it vulnerability. We've got a number of claustrophobic environments, but there are also so many scenes depicting characters in open spaces with their backs exposed. The example that sticks with me the most sees our protagonist in her home sitting at a desk while an open doorframe to the kitchen looms ominously in the background. We see this shot before and after learning that someone has intruded in her home, so the doorframe dares you to keep your eyes on it in case anything approaches. Nowhere in this movie feels safe, and it feels as if danger could appear from anywhere at any time. Fortunately, the film doesn't use this tension to jumpscare you every 5 minutes. It knows when to withhold its scares, waiting for you to grow accustomed to the tension and finally let your guard down before pulling the rug out from under you.

      I'm relatively new to horror as a genre, so I don't know if these are common tropes or not. Whether or not I'm Boss Baby-ing this movie, I can at least say I think these are ideas that were well implemented.

      That being said, there were some more obvious tropes that were not implemented well. While it was used sparingly, we're not free from the loud, stock horror violin stings used to create shock in scenes that didn't need help being shocking. But perhaps the most egregious trope was the twist that Satan was the driving supernatural force for the story all along.

      I like to see horror movies explore Christian themes, when it's done well. I'd say this was not done well. We begin the story with an intriguing mystery: how does this serial killer force families to commit murder-suicide, all the while they never set foot in the family's home? With such a mystery, I don't blame this film for taking a supernatural angle, but I do blame them for doing it in an underwhelming way. It would have been interesting and much more terrifying to explore the awful, depraved things that anyone is capable of when they're pushed to do so— to challenge the viewers on the notion that "Oh, I could never do anything bad. I'm a good person!" I believe that everyone is equally capable of doing good and bad things, but this movie implies that people only do bad things if they worship Satan or are under the direct, forceful influence of Satan. 

      Sure, they do touch upon the idea that people will go to extreme lengths to protect the people they love. (The biggest spoiler is inbound, if you got this far but feel like jumping ship now. Or you could jump to the next paragraph and keep reading.) We learn that the protagonist's mother has been aiding the serial killer the whole time, and that she chose to do so in order to spare her daughter from being killed by Satan and his fanboy. However, by the end of the movie, the mother is just a full-blown Satanist for some reason. I guess you kill enough people, and you just decide this Satan guy isn't so bad? No nuance about evils committed in the name of love, just evil because it's evil. I don't feel this, or any of the uses of Satan in this movie were well executed. I think some of these problems could have been avoided if they had unpacked these ideas a bit more, but alas. 

      This is perhaps subjective, but it's the way I feel. And ultimately, this is why I chose to review Longlegs alongside Angel Hare. They're both horror stories with Christian themes, and I feel that one handles those themes much better than the other. Moreover, my subjective opinion on each story contributes a lot to my enjoyment of the story (or lack thereof).

      Angel Hare is somewhat strange for a horror series. The opening episodes are well executed to be unnerving and deliver some haunting revelations, but the story progresses from there in an oddly wholesome way. Personally, I enjoyed this transition quite a bit. The wholesomeness of Angel Hare does depend on your particular read on the story, however.

      After watching Angel Hare, I watched a few different videos to see what others had to say on the series. I suppose I was looking for answers. Is this story really wholesome, or is there some dark twist I'm missing? I was expecting there to be more to the story, only to learn that the series was finished. I wanted to see what I had missed, but delving for secrets didn't change much. I tried forming my own theories about the story, but ended up writing myself in circles about what information could or couldn't be trusted. But then, I watched an excellent synopsis video by Crowmudgeon where he ends his video with the idea that he just wants to trust his gut feeling about the show. This inspired me to do the same.

      There's a lot about the story and world of Angel Hare that we don't know, but I want to share what I feel and what I think is true. I don't believe any of the characters we see are true angels or demons. I believe that Gabby is functionally a normal person who was simply doing her best to help a child who needed it, and that she was doing so in the only way that she could— even if that way was extreme and violent. Similarly, I don't think Francis or Zag are up to anything nefarious. I think that Francis tells us about demons and calls Zag's monitors "demon hare boxes" because he's a forest-dwelling badger from a Christian kid's TV show. He doesn't know what a TV is, and assumes it's some kind of unholy magic. Each of these characters act in accordance with their roles, but all of them ultimately are good people who mean well.

      I adopt this stance on Angel Hare because it aligns with my favorite thing that a story with Christian themes can do: it holds to Christian ideals, but doesn't outright confirm whether or not Christianity is "real" or "fake." We don't know whether God exists in the world of Angel Hare. We don't know whether or not Gabby is a real angel, or if she's secretly a demon. But I know that she chose to be kind and help a child in his time of need. And in turn, when that child grew up, Gabby's actions had inspired him to reciprocate that kindness to her and share it with the world. 

      Being kind to one another is what God wants us to do, but I find it beautiful that people will still be kind even when God isn't a part of their equation. And that's why I think Angel Hare will stick with me for a long time.

If you want to check out Longlegs as well, I do think it's worth your time.

I've enjoyed writing reviews like this, and it's a good way to kill time when work is slow. No idea what I'll review next or when, but I suspect I'll do one eventually.

[flamingtunapictures]

Honest "Death’s Door" Review - *7/10*

Tl:dr - A good game that delivers a challenging and polished souls-like gaming experience, however its choices in story/world building; repetitive dungeon structure; and lack of simple navigational tools detracted from a thoroughly enjoyable adventure for me.

The Good Things About Death’s Door

Overall Presentation - A clean, polished game with well developed systems and beautiful art. Combat is challenging but not impossible, and visual style is graphic and engaging without being too juvenile. Characters are fun with a good balance of gritty and whimsy.

Music - Wonderful soundtrack. Each area boasts a variety of fun thematic instruments. I found tunes and arrangements very reminiscent to Okami.

Gameplay - Challenging combat that rewards patience, with a variety of ranged and melee weapons a player can interchange fluently in battle to fit their personal fighting style. Puzzles are balanced, never crossing into so-hard-lose-interest territory. The game can be 100%-ed in a reasonable time without guides if one chooses to do so.

Despite my initial impression, the shrines were also fun riddles to solve. I loved the local pub's “hearsay” method with “Jefferson” at the Sunken Sailor. It was a fun touch of flavor and helped make the shrines feel tangible.

3 major criticisms for Death’s Door

(-.5 point) Game progression is extremely linear and dungeon structure lacks core differentiation. Each dungeon’s objectives are structured the same way: you explore an area and fight through mini-boss rooms to free 5 crow souls. These unlock the next power upgrade via almost identical combat challenges. This is followed immediately by ascension to the final stage of a dungeon; concluding with the boss fight. While each dungeon offered their own unique puzzles and layouts, the lack of variety in objectives started to feel more like a checklist than an exciting opportunity for discovery. It’s worth noting as well, the game is linear (Urn Witch > Frog King > Betty) as each previous level provides you with a necessary upgrade to access the next challenge.

(-1.5 points) The lack of a map made the experience of exploring vast areas (extremely) frustrating. This frustration was exacerbated in the world-scouring post game collect-a-thon. The fact that a map was not even an option was incredibly infuriating to me. I understand the creators of the game declared their creative choice “promoted as organic of a gaming experience as possible,” and aligned themselves further with the “souls-like” label, however it does not feel like an infallible decision. Take Hollow Knight as a compare and contrast. Maps were provided throughout the game but the player was also given the choice of how much they wanted to engage with, or take advantage of the map. Maps had to be purchased, making it entirely possible for a player to forgo it completely if they chose to do so. There was also a balanced trade-off of forfeiting an equipment slot to attach the Wayward Compass charm for effective use of the map. Death’s Door doesn’t even give you the option.

(-1 point) The game’s narrative feels a little hollow, lacking in any commendable character depth or motivation. Essential world lore is also delivered too late, is confusing, and detracts from the drama’s overall impact. I finished the game feeling underwhelmed by the plot despite the game’s (self)positioning as a prolific drama. (Spoiler Alert)

I found myself floundering to feel anything for the final act, or to really make sense of the world’s logic and lore between the end of act 2 and beginning of act 3. From what I understand (having 100%-ed the game) the world, since coming under the rule of the current Lord Of Doors, became a place of stagnation… Most, if not all (?) creatures were living unreasonably long lives (past their “due dates”) because the Lord of Doors cut off death itself from the worlds, and subsequently the Crow Commission (who had assumed Death’s role of reaping souls). With no no one reaping souls, nobody was actually dying? But then why was the Grey Crow aging with the threat of death looming over him? Or why did all the crows who got cut off from the commission die? Or how were the free-crow’s movement for that matter, that promoted the natural order of embracing death, actually fulfilling their own creed? I should not be this confused or have this many questions at the explanation of the state-of-the-world after playing the game for 20 hours.

Secondly, many of the significant “reveals” in the 3rd act felt rather underwhelming. Starting with the “Free Crows” movement (a tropey rebel group that “fights the system”). Their presence and justification provided almost all the context to the world’s supposed stagnation. Thus, their late-game reveal (almost the end of act 2) caused me to completely reevaluate and question if I had understood anything from the soft world-building up to that point, and not in a good way. Their motivations felt rather generic as well, and lacked any kind of originality or robustness. Additionally, the pacing between defeating the Grey Crow and the sudden “call-to-arms” from the Free Crows felt very jarring and like the story was just trying to quickly wrap things up. It did not feel very justified.

Death’s reveal was equally underwhelming. His reveal should have felt like a reward for the arduous efforts it took to open his door. His reveal should have left me feeling like I finally had answers… but because I was not aware the world was supposedly “stagnated” (?) until moments before I encountered him, his presence felt confusing, and a little insignificant to me.

As for the final two bosses, the Grey Crow and the Lord of Doors, another reviewer captured the narrative's failure best: It felt like the story was telling me to care about these characters more than actually giving me substantial experience with them to want to care about them. I found myself not caring about the final boss’ motivations and just wanted to finish the game. 

All these things considered, it really boils down to me not finding the lore of this game’s world particularly compelling.

Even the “truth” revealed after completing the post game did not feel like it added any significant detail or insight into the story. For how much effort it demanded to unlock, it was another narrative disappointment.

One exception exists however with the Gravedigger. He was by far the most compelling character. His sad story was the only one that drew an actual reaction from me when I realized just who “Monty” was (hint, look at the shiny-thing locket you find). His final battle was the most satisfying and his emotional departure felt wonderfully delivered.

In conclusion, Death’s Door is a quick (10-20 hours, including post-game) adventure challenge that offers a polished gaming experience, pleasant visuals, and catchy soundtrack. Combat will leave you gnashing your teeth if you don’t employ a little patience, solidifying its position as a “souls-like” game. I would definitely say it’s worth your time if you enjoy games like that. If you’re looking for a more compelling world-lore, convicting story or just better navigation support however, I would recommend something like Hollow Knight instead.

[macgyvertape]

D2 Lightfall campaign thoughts

gameplay discussion above, campaign and post campaign story below cut:

New UI looks good, just wish they made the element mods color coded.

Immediately went to go craft a bunch of weapons before starting the campaign, I’m glad they made the change to crafting materials

Thinking back to when you used to have to spend ascendant shards to change the armor affinity of a masterwork piece, I’m so glad the game has progressed to no elemental armor since that will save me a lot of vault space.

Once again 9 or 10 resilience is incredibly noticeable in survivability vs lower resilience

The redo of the mod system from a dev standpoint probably makes designing the challenge level a lot easier since the elemental well mods had a lot of extremely powerful outlier combos. However, doing fun and varied buildcrafting was a big engagement point for me for the last 6 months so I hope there’s more creative options than at first glance.

huh Bungie is introducing destroyable cover, that showed up in the mars battleground last season. Very curious about the design process for that

Fighting tormenters feels like Dark Souls where you position around telegraphed wind up attack and a lot of dodging. Especially when you damage them enough and they “go full sicko mode” and charge you for the kill grab. Blinding grenades or chill clip to stun, or Arc Speedboost with witherhoard/anarchy for damage over time and kiting them around seem to be the winning strats. 

Checkpoint system in the campaign right before the rally flag is great for when something isn’t working in your loadout. I really appreciate the ability to change loadouts mid mission for a different final boss loadout

Basically every fight involves something that will force you to keep repositioning and a lot involve infinite ads. I've found witherhoard to be the most effective gun. Honestly most of my deaths are when the game forces me to run around with no cover then the ads shoot me. 

Overall I really liked the difficulty and challenge of legendary and enjoyed playing it mostly solo. Replaying missions helping a friend and its interesting how even though enemy health and damage is increased some parts are easier with enemy targeting AI.

The game was a lot more generous with giving me increased power level gear so I was never underleveled for any mission. Really appreciated it as both BL and WQ I had to take a break from the story to go farm blue gear

I used Necrotic grips and Osteo Striga for a lot of the campaign and it goes really well with Strand

Strand grapple vs a damage grenade, there’s not a lot of times where I want to grapple into a bunch of enemies, and there are times where it just swings me off a platform because of momentum. I’ve only unlocked Warlock so far but the cooldown on the Strand Grenade is so slow vs campaign that it takes some of the enjoyment out of it. I’m sure like stasis which was also underwhelming at first, that I’ll like it after some patches.

New updates to the Tower are cool but more importantly menu times seem to have improved. 

Glad the Terminal Overload public event will matchmake you with others directly, considering you need to finish the event to complete bounties to get an item if you want a pinnacle from the Partition missions.

Campaign:

New intro is great actually for explaining the story so far to new and returning players

Then the space battle cutscene was fucking great. The witness looks cool and less of a meme smoke-Megamind lookalike

If I had a nickel for every time an unknowable alien force sliced a bunch of things apart and gave me chills I’d have 2 nickels. (The Expanse protomolecule rising scene). That poor ghost where it had that moment of eye contact before falling apart just like the samurai sword slash trope 

I wiped 3 times against Mr Grabby hands, the fact that it's such an enclosed area didn’t help. Icarus Dash and Witherhoard and kiting the boss around were my winning strategy

When I first saw the cloudstrider armor design from the trailers I thought the metal bits looked really awkward but it looks so much better in game

Glad the cabal have moved beyond the need of pressure suits so Calus can have all this drip

Osiris’ criticisms feel a lot bitchier than I hope the writers intended because he makes so many of them. “Stop wasting time” as we go literally as fast as we can and I get my ass handed to me by tormentors. I get what they’re trying to do with his character arc but I wish the writing would trust I remember what he said 5 minutes or the last mission ago vs have him keep repeating the same thing. 

Second mission boss was a pushover

Oh no ghost but yay we get to talk

When ghost says “they have it locked down tight” lmao yeah that like 6 gunships and 4 tanks

Caiatl shows up to rescue us, I love her so much. Then we get a vehicle escape segment which is a lot of fun with Always On Time

The fresco style cutscene is beautiful, not new info to repeat players but a good exposition to new/returning 

Awww its Saint calling Osiris. Like Osiris’ terse commentary is clearly coming from a place of grief and frustration because he’s so used to doing stuff himself with Sagira as a moderating force and now he literally can’t. Him forgetting Sagira was dead for a brief moment was really touching. 

The need to use Strand to get around the suppression fields is a much better setup of why you have to use this darkness power vs needing stasis to open a few locked doors

“Information wants to be free” as Nimbus gives us a tank, I’m pretty fond of them

RIP Rohan, it was pretty obvious from foreshadowing he was going to die defending Neomuna and Nimbus the rookie would have to step up, he didn’t get enough screentime for me to get attached 

I like how the game clearly tells you when there are interlude dialogue

The tormented called “imprint of Nazerac”, Neomunda citizens having nightmares that feature Nezarec i hope this plays out somehow

Lmao immediately after listening to the radio messages I did the strike where Nezarec is on coms. Got to say he has the sexy monster voice, and I’m glad that a lore character who was built up so much gets to play a bigger role than Nezcafe drink. I can’t wait to see his physical design when we eventually fight him and very interesting since his corpse was dismembered for the reliquaries. I thought Rhulk was cool as fuck and hope Nezarec is equally as hype

I really I liked the speed racer section of the strike but wow that section will feel very different in GM

Nimbus is very cheerful and upbeat referencing Rohan’s death, they’ve been characterized as a jokester throughout but I figured there would have a more serious moment here and it would be a break from comedic relief to let the story breathe. The campaign story so far has really been pingponging from dark and serious vs cheesy quips, but it's landing too much on the side of cheesy that it makes me wonder why I should take the threat seriously.

The training montage with Osiris’ voice over about letting go of grief and persevering handled that line of comedy/seriousness with the tone a lot better 

The music that played during the Headstrong mission right after the training montage made me go “wow this is a lot of 80s action movie vibes” which apparently there are interviews where they said they were looking at blockbuster action movies to set the tone. 

It also made me realize in the style of a blockbuster action movie there’s been no explanation of the mcguffin of “The Veil”  and the other mcguffin of the “Mast” and how it plays into the Witness’ lager goal just that The Witness getting it would be bad, but no specific of how exactly. 

In the final mission it took me way longer than it should have to realize I was supposed to fight all those cabal strand empowered. Caiatl’s speech was badass and I loved the moment of fighting alongside her

Final fight was the one part I didn’t do solo just because of how many times I died from falling off the platforms. 3 people made the second phase easy because Calus could only chase 1 person at a time. I did like the final fight being in an ancient Istar lab that was the founding of the city.

Good on the Witness for the Xanatos gambit, it got what it wanted either way things played out. 

Once again another cliffhanger teaser where it throws something new at us that we have no context for. Big The Expanse ring gate vibes.

I don’t understand why Zalavala and everyone were just standing there the entire time, since it seems like the campaign takes days but the way they’re standing there implies they haven’t moved and it's been hours. 

Zavala has a really somber and well done speech after the campaign, and once again it's that tonal whiplash from the cheesiness of the campaign

I thought there would be a lot more exploration of the themes of mortality: Calus’ fear of death lead him to ally with the Witness, Guardians are brought back to life and basically immortal until they die in combat, Cloudstriders sacrifice a long lifespan for 10 years, and Osiris sort of in the middle with only the rest of his lifespan to live out. But there's not really any of that in the story

I thought the soundtrack was really mid except for the track that plays during the first tank scene and the track when you’re exploring the veil. Its not just that I expected it to be more synthwave to match the 80s tone but there wasn’t anything really stand out. 

Post Campaign:

Disappointed how there was no dialogue about how Neomuna has known about the Last City for all these years and any explanation of why they didn’t help out during the Dark Ages or The Red War even if only in a humanitarian way. I assume it was a resources issue, but I hope there’s at least some written lore for this

I think its cool how a lot of the bounties are Neomuna citizens, and that you can see them standing around as virtual avatars. Funnily enough I’ve seen more named Neomuna citizens than Awoken citizens (it’s all troops in the Dreaming City) and the Last City (there’s Eva and Hawthorne)

Neomuna has a LOT of bars around it, seems like citizens had a pretty fun time with all the art, arcades, and party setups

Really like how the Unfinished Business exotic quest reused the Garden Raid, a raid I think is beautiful but hate to run. The writing with Nimbus where they make jokes but have heartfelt moments with the players was what I wanted from them in the campaign. Also great closure for Osiris

Lmao at the reporter trying to interview Ghost, “Mr. Ghost can you hear me?”

Between Asher alive in the Vex network (he’s viewable in Partition) and Nezarec being in the Vex network I’m looking forward to how this plays out in the next Vex storyline. I was hearing ominous whispers just playing randomly at times around Neomuna, but with Nezarec’s sin the message is audible

[lookforthefuture49]

Ok time for a fnaf SB rant (not a bad one!!!)

Very EXTREMELY spoilery, plz be careful. I don't know how to make a cut for spoilers so just know the following is obviously filled to the BRIM with spoilers.

So.

Security breach!!!

I hear a lot of people complaining about it, and I too complain about the bugs and the story, but honestly? No matter what I see or think I literally cannot help but adore Security Breach. Like, it's so much HAPPIER than any of the older games. I know it's still pretty dark, yeah, but unlike literally every other game, most of its endings are pretty happy, even the canon one, and I appreciate that. It doesn't HAVE to be so bleak I assumed before the game even came out that Gregory was gonna die- he doesn't die in a single one of the known endings. I wa surprised but also very happy. And also, for once, the pizza plex seems mostly innocent. If it weren't for the the fact Vanny and Mr. Afton were there messing everything up, the place would be perfectly fine to continue on as it is. Literally except for the iffy management it's a fine establishment and honestly I'd go if I could it's that cool.

I do think the writing is iffy at times, especially towards the ending, but I'm really glad that the animatronics actually get like... character. Maybe except Monty, he doesn't really get anything surprisingly, but like, Roxanne is over here entirely obsessed with herself and destroyed when suddenly she can't see herself anymore. Chica can't help but eat and eat and eat even though she's not supposed to. Freddy genuinely cares about his friends and just feels very real. It's amazing. Gregory also definitely had a different character than I expected, but he's still fun and I really like his and Freddy's dynamic. Its great.

The game looks freaking amazing, finally the 3d modeling is a style I like. I never really liked Cawthon's modeling style, something about it feels weird. Maybe the texture of the characters, or just it not being good in general. Its good for most of the animatronics, but I don't like close up over used models. I think the ones that look smooth, such as many found in the Desolate Hope and the Toys in fnaf 2, are good, but models like those from Chipper and Sons and many fuzzy/textured animatronics just look off. I think Steelwool does an amazing modeling job and I absolutely love it. Cawthon does a pretty good job for most models but some just looks so weird in proportion and texture I don't like it hah.

I've rambled a lot, I'm sorry I'm continuing.

I think the canon ending and the events leading up to it are my least favorite of all the endings and how to get them. It's just so.. underwhelming. I guess thought if Mr. Afton was gonna be in the game he was gonna be a prominent figure, and would actually pose a threat. But no, he's pitiful, he's disgusting. He was so powerful in Pzzeria Simulator and games before it (and also Help Wanted) that I can't help but be confused. Honestly, I think I'm glad he had an easy defeat. I'm just tired of him coming back (not tired of Michael though please steelwool just one more game with Michael in it is all I ask PLEASE) and he's so old and gross anyway its like of course he was obliterated in like 5 seconds. His boss battle was not one of a powerful being trying to take back control again, but just this old dead dude who's probably tired of immortality already because he got the worst form of it. He literally does nothing except try to take over Glamrock Freddy, and even that fails miserably likely because of a form of the power of friendship hidden in there. It is not beyond this game to use the power of friendship trope, I can tell, they just forgot to make Freddy mention it haha. Anywhom, I think the big amalgamate thing was also stupid, because I can't tell if it's Molten Freddy or a new thing. It has the og Funtime Freddy head, has classic Chica and Bonnie, none of the Pizza Sim animatronics except the puppet, but even that's a stretch because Lefty isn't there. I'm confused on that and honestly I think if something was going to make William stay in that fire it should have been Charlie or Michael. I would say Henry but I don't think he could attach to anything. Charlie is always possessing something (the Puppet) and Michael had who knows how much remnant in him. Anyway, the amalgamate felt very thrown in, but honestly so did William, so idk.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention it but I think William's new design is literally the worst. Legit I like Scraptrap better than whatever that THING is. Why would Vanny even take his corpse and shove it into another rabbit??? Cmon! Make a new body! A NEW one!!!!! Why make him super weak and terrible like cmon you can make him anything and you didn't make him like some fancy streamlined animatronic??

I think the only cool thing about the canon ending is that you go down underground and it's the Pizzeria Sim location. So awesome.

Anyway yeah this was a ramble.

Also bring back Michael

[retphienix]

I did it :)

So, I cried. That's a given.

Also this might be the most overwhelmingly happy ending in the series so far, you know, if you're used to every entry ending with "KIRYU DIE?????"

Bonus points because this ending DID NOT immediately reveal that he lives! I know my intro here is all unserious and the like but genuinely, that does a lot for making the scene so much more impactful and it worked here even though I know he returns for Y6.

So, I'm gonna do this post like the last big post because there's too many thoughts to expel.

Timestamps as I rewatch so I can share my thoughts. Then a short conclusion because honestly? This game has taken all my words multiple times.

I just want to calmly and happily say my final piece at the end :)

0:39 - Spoiler, this ending SUCKS because it doesn't include a final rhythm battle for Haruka! Now I think I read somewhere that there's a member of that assassin clan she can dance battle as a final challenge but I clearly didn't do that right and missed out and that's beside the point- THERE'S NO RHYTHM GAMEPLAY IN THIS FINALE >:(

9:00 - I EARNED IT, I'M USING IT!

13:00 - Spoiler for later, Shinada doesn't get to say this from what I recall. Instead Baba gets a different wake up call, but that works out :)

17:00 - Not now, but this will come up, I offer to you my johns for what happens in the first boss fight. My eyes were dry as hell so I missed some QTEs which means I didn't get the flashiest stuff to happen. This actually happened at the end of Y4 also but I restarted just to capture good footage- not this time.

17:30 - MOUSE. MOUSE MOUSE, A LITTLE RAT, MOUSE. Love to see it.

19:00 - The audible sigh I let out when they played the same song I've heard like 40 times in my playthrough was palpable. I do dig the song! But there are what? 4 Idol songs? They really needed more or to not saturate their use so much :(

19:40 - I legitimately gasped and went "Oh no... of course it's you!" at Baba's role in this. It added a lot of weight to the way he practically begged Haruka not to show up.

20:50 - So here's the gist. Majima's plan didn't work out, we know that. Majima has a REALLY good line and motivator moment where he says he's following orders now to protect Haruka because she means more to Kiryu than anything (and that's how Majima rolls), Majima then reveals some shit which can be amounted to "I think you've gotten weak and wanted to protect you!!!!" which does ring slightly hollow since we saw Majima at a ridiculously low point earlier. So either his low point was him contemplating Saejima's survival chances, or his low point was sincere (it sure sounded it) and his worry over Saejima being weak was just also happening at the same time. I don't really mind either way to be honest, we beat him up. I fail some QTEs.

33:00 - Baba deciding not to fulfill his orders on his own accord is actually extremely important and good as hell. It shows that all this changed him and gave him the motivation to forge his own path- or rather it began to though he's overwhelmed with doubt. It's extremely good.

33:50 - The fact he intentionally leaves evidence shows how much doubt he has though, he's giving up entirely more than forging his own path, he's just refusing to follow the orders of another but hasn't found the strength to continue on his own. It's really good is all.

38:00 - This was the first cry I had beating the game x.x Shinada is just a phenomenally likeable character, and watching him accept where his life has gone and what it's meant to others is way more touching than I'd assume considering it's a tale of a baseball star.

40:50 - THIS WAS HYPE AS HELL AND LEAD TO MY SECOND CRY. THIS PRISON FAMILY HAS NO RIGHT BEING THIS ENDEARING. Also, more or less, they get to deliver the message Shinada was supposed to lol.

42:50 - THIRD AND BIG AS HELL CRY. SHINADA YOU FOOL, YOU'VE A FOUND FAMILY AFTER-ALL!!! I genuinely adore this moment so much is all. It's such a wonderful payoff for this loveable fool. After all the runnin' away he has a home.

43:36 - I love Shinada so much the silly fuck.

46:00 - I got a laugh out of Akiyama KICKING ASS in the news footage (didn't mention but the first brawl cutscene was rather lacking wasn't it?) and Kiryu just like... punches a guy. It's hilarious to me. Also you best believe- I UNLOCKED IT, I'M USING IT!!!

48:00 - Now this is a, well, it's a bad reveal. Like look, there is a metric ton of good going on in this finale- but the reveal that Aizawa is his son and is evil and is the final boss is just too much zero-build-up-payoff. It's the worst part. It's not like extremely detrimental or anything- like it doesn't take away from the good stuff- but it's just entirely uninteresting and bad. It makes Aizawa's interest in Morinaga bizarre and uninteresting since he got no payoff, he had buildup with Saejima and then in the final scenes he's just like "Yeah, Mori was nice but who gives a fuck I am the one who killed him (I think he said) and I aspire to be strong as fuck because all of YOU IDIOTS have FRIENDS and CHARISMA >:(" and like, who fuckin' cares bud.

52:00 - Now I'll more or less sum up all of Akiyama's payoff here. 1- I unlocked it so I'm gonna use it! 2- He offhandedly says he wants to be a legend in this town, which in Y4 he already was- he was a myth, a city mystery- but of course he means like Kiryu not the loch ness monster. 3- He gets to be a legend by being the only civilian (or person in general) the Omi would bow to. It's kind of not built up at all and is a bit lame, but to be honest Akiyama has a pretty bit part in this entire game. He's kinda just a convenient returning character with motivation to assist Kiryu and a career that allows motivation to get involved through Park. To be blunt, his part in the story is weak. I wish it was stronger. But it's inoffensive and he at least gets something- as minor as it is. Getting to say he's king of the world is something, you know?

56:00 - I will say that the build up of "Oh shit, these are Kanai's men!" and the reveal that "Oh shit! They are WATASE'S men and all the clans who the Tojo were seeking alliances with!" is a good one. Watase is a fine enough character which I bring up only because I was told he was a standout- but he wasn't for me. His scenes are great, his growth with Katsuya is nice, but he's barely in the game and really only exists to be betrayed and then to be like "I'm one of the good yakuza despite being a war-lusting one because being a good yakuza is just complicated enough to allow this overlap" which is interesting for sure, but I don't know. Unless he does stuff in the subsequent games I didn't catch much in this one. Maybe he does- I assume he runs the Omi now!

1:00:00 - I kinda summed it up but yeah. Here's the final boss, Aizawa, a character we were mislead on and who's motivation is empty as fuck. It's, whatever. It's not the good part of the ending. The good part is everything prior and directly after. Like his entire deal is anti-silver-spoon talking points but also he includes being charismatic or capable as silver spoon-isms??? He pretty much just wants to be leader because he's strong. He'd arguably be more interesting if he just said it that way.

1:11:00 - The lyrics to Dream are anything but subtle and I love them and I love Haruka. Sliding this in here- Majima gets no payoff >:( Park's dream is accomplished in seeing her star on the stage, but no Majima moment? No sight of him accepting her loss? Lame.

1:14:00 - I genuinely LOVE that Aizawa focuses in on Kiryu's gunshot wound. He still accepts it as a fair fight because Kiryu presents it as one, but even then he pays mind to it as you'd expect someone wanting to fight at their strongest would- he wants to fight Kiryu at his best and he's accepting this because Kiryu presents as his best even when wounded- it's pretty cool. Fight happens. It's fine stuff, flashy and fun. Still maybe the weakest final boss yet because he has no build up. I'd be the first to admit without looking it up I can't list every final boss thus far, but like, Nishi was built up, Mine was built up, Goda was built up, I just, in this moment, don't recall having a big "WHO THE FUCK, THIS MEANS NOTHING?" fight in yakuza and this is certainly one of those.

1:25:00 - I cried AGAIN. Haruka just hit me with a truck of emotion here is all.

1:41:15 - This is a beautifully shot, emotional, and tragic looking ending. Heck, at 1:43:00 I initially thought he was being awoken in a hospital bed and I was like "Heh, there's the old Kiryu dies fakeout!" but no! They hammer home, they go for broke, they give a TRAGIC AS FUCK bitter ending on top of an ending that's like 99% happy as fuck in terms of offering everyone involved hope for the future. This was a good end :)

So then, some overall thoughts I maybe didn't get out- I mean there's no way this post touches everything but I want to at least try to because I like sharin' the experience and what I got out of it.

The fighting styles were mighty uneven as far as strengths or fun factor. To be blunt,

Kiryu has an overpowered counter attack and heat mode and since heat mode is underwhelming as hell that means he has JUST a counter attack- his strikes don't really hit all that well considering the improvements other characters saw this time around, so he's a bit one note here.

Saejima feel even meatier than before, nothing particularly 'stands out' but the fact that he has super armor as long as he has heat is a pretty big factor in making him feel good to use.

Akiyama got the short end of the straw this time around. His new gimmick is the launch combos and they are... well... less than shit at least from what I could feel during gameplay. They don't hurt much, they burn heat like crazy, and they can MISS, all while being a move that targets just one enemy- has no counter to blocking or armor- and provides no armor in turn.

Despite not losing anything, he kinda got screwed.

(I'm lead to believe Akiyama is invulnerable during his aerial combos which my blurb in my finale post complained felt worthless and cited that as a reason.

If so then I was wrong but I still hold all my other complaints towards it, just not the 'it has no armor or invuln' bit assuming that's true.)

Shinada wins out for being unique and being a weapon oriented character that actually does well with weapons. Weapons have always been something I pretty much ignore in Yakuza and the series itself has always desperately tried to make them interesting with things like weapon skills, Kamiya works, and the like. But other than the god weapons like the golden gun weapons just never felt good to manage.

Using them, sure, that's fine, but managing them? Durability and skills and limited movesets and all that? Nah. But Shinada really does a lot to make them less shit! His innate abilities that raise durability a metric ton REALLY make weapons feel better to use with him- and his unique movesets with weapons are pretty damn good (mostly. The pipe/'normal one hander pole size object' moveset is worthless as heck, it regularly misses).

He's fun.

===

Revelations were a miss this time around for me. Since you couldn't have seen them if you tried on my blog let it be known- I ONLY got the quest related revelations for each character- which is to say- ONE rev per character.

Revelations in 5 are weapon based, and not just 'bat or pole or gun' or whatever- they are DISPOSABLE TEMPORARY weapon based.

What you are supposed to do is go to the specific place on the map where that one revelation weapon spawns, hope like hell you find an enemy, and wail on them like crazy. If you use a weapon x amount of times then you'll get a revelation according to the internet. This is beyond ridiculous and means a normal playthrough will get none of these, while a focused one will be bored out of their mind GRINDING to get these.

I did not bother.

===

Now.

Yakuza 5.

This might be my favorite Yakuza overall.

I still think 0 is probably the best overall for most people, it has the best style, it has from what I've experienced the best gameplay, it's story is tear jerking and exciting and fun.

But as a yakuza game overall, I really have to give it to 5 personally. Because 0 tried to work within its bounds- it made itself a great entry point to the series or a great addition to Yakuza 1 / Kiwami as background.

But 5 is building on 4 previous games and it does so fucking phenomenally.

There's something to be said about a later entry in a series gaining extra payoff thanks to multiple entries of build up and character depth and 5 fucking does it.

I just. It explores the motivation of some fan-favorites so well, it expands characters so fucking well, I know I've harped on about it but just Saejima- man! Saejima goes from a run of the mill "Decent" character to a fully fledged and explored entity! And I LOVE him!

And no he's not the only shining spot, like hell he is, but he's such a posterchild for what 5 does right in my eyes- take something that's already good and breath some life into it. Also I adore it's laser focus on a singular theme and all the ways it wanted to explore it.

Like. I think Kiwami and Zero take the cake for the most fun I've had " 'playing' Yakuza so far, but 5 takes the cake for the most fun I've had 'in general' like gameplay and me just thinking about it because there's so much to think on.

More time will tell as I compartmentalize my thoughts and perhaps forget some details as one does, but right this moment- this might be my favorite Yakuza game.

I love it.

Also, woot! I beat Y5 before Monhun Rise came out :D Now I can start that game without putting a story on hold!

...

Except I also told my sister that I'd start Omori after Y5. So I guess alongside monhun I'll be playing through a game with a hefty and wonderfully done story. Which is what I didn't want to do with Y5.

I just can't win, lol.

[cassatine]

TROS rambles under cut. Spoilers ahead.

There’s a lot I didn’t particularly like in TROS, but I expected that, so I’m mostly disappointed by the execution. It feels extremely messy, stuffed full of things supposed to please the audience but without that much thought given to the overall effect or the underlying message.

It’s small things like a cute new droid whose function in the narrative is to deliver one hint for the high-stakes treasure hunt, and also be cute and sell merch. At least the droid has a function; I’m still wondering why the giant slug on the Falcon at the beginning of the movie. Isn’t the cast big enough. Aren’t there enough new characters as is. Did we need the slug. I’m aware it sounds like nitpicking, it’s just that I feel it’s representative of the film making unnecessary detours for cool factor while moving at breakneck speed, which makes the whole story suffer.

But there’s other, bigger things. Leia’s training, her having a saber, even if she put it down – it was such a big deal that Luke was the Last Jedi, the only one who could train Rey, and although we’ve seen Leia use the Force, there was absolutely nothing in the previous two movies to let us think she’d trained under Luke. I feel the main reason Leia has a saber is simply the need to replace the one yeeted by Ben so that he’d have a weapon in the final fight, and having another family saber handed to Rey was yet another way to confirm Rey as the chosen heir of the Jedi and the Skywalkers, something TROS really tried to hammer in imo; Leia’s saber and training, the pep talk with Force Ghost Luke (who doesn’t have anything to say to his nephew), everything about how the Jedi live in her in the final fight, plus the voices of Anakin, Obi-Wan, etc (who, like Luke, don’t have anything to say to Kylo/Ben), and the Force Ghosts of Luke and Leia appearing to her at the end. They didn’t do that when their nephew and son died. I don’t really mind that Rey takes the Skywalker name, because I’m not big on the blood lineage fixation to start with, and the film doesn’t make her reasons explicit so I can find a way to make it work for me, but it’s the culmination of the pattern framing her as the one heir.

Even her ending up in Luke’s childhood home fits within it, but I have other issues with her ending up alone on Tatooine; mainly what the fuck am I supposed to do with it? Like if there was something about how she was, idk, starting a Jedi school AT LEAST that’d make sense for the story I think Abrams is trying to tell because right now… how are the Jedi not going to end if she’s basically in exile?? Wasn’t it such a big deal to see the Jedi continue? How did we end up pretty much back to square one, with the last of the Jedi self-exiled on an out-of-the-way planet for not-so-clear reasons? For that matter, how is Rey choosing exile in the grand tradition of Jedi who failed – Obi-Wan, Yoda, and later Luke – supposed to be read? We’re given no insight in what goes on in her head after Exegol; her reaction to Ben’s death I’m 100% certain is meant to be heartbreaking, and it’s filmed that way. But after that she’s just… it’s not clear *what* she is, because there’s some happiness on her part, yes, but it’s part of the over-the-top ROTJ-like happiness expressed by all the Resistance peeps at the end, like they’re all so glad the Empire, First and Final Order are gone that they’re high on it. But as far as characterization goes it’s hard to say whether Rey’s going through the motions, if she’s sad but content that at least Ben turned or smthg, or if she’s totally fine and dandy. There’s nothing about why she choses to go to Tatooine, why she chooses to use the Skywalker name, why she buries the sabers, or how the fuck she feels about anything. I don’t think everything in an ending needs to be made explicit and explained in details, but it all kinda feels like a cop-out.

Speaking of cop-outs, I could mention The Pit, but also... I know a lot of people wanted Finn to have the Force; I’ve always been on the fence, because I feared his having the Force would end up being the reason he defected, and I didn’t want that decision to boil down to the magic force field told him so. Well, he had A Feeling, which implies he’s Force sensitive at least? Him and a whole other bunch of ex-troopers? I don’t know what to make of this. I mean, sure, the FO indoctrinates kids, but apparently once the Force gives them A Feeling they just break out of it? But also, how much does the Force meddles in events, because it kind of feels like those Feelings are moving people to where they need to be for Plot to happen (Leia’s saber premonition doesn’t really help the thus it was written vibe).  

Neither Finn nor Poe had any personal arc to speak of; they don’t grow or learn or do shit beyond being Rey’s sidekicks on her speedrun to the big boss (literally it’s a treasure hunt to open the final dungeon and beat the big boss; that’s it that the plot). They do Cool Action Stuff, and once Leia dies become Generals in her stead, which has about zero impact on anything. Poe’s revealed to be a spice smuggler because I guess a real Star Wars trio™ needs an ex-spice smuggler, just like a real Star WarsTM needs training scenes and a family reveal and a planet-destroying weapon (not spherical this time woohoo) and some Palpatine sprinkled on top. The trio’s interactions were… Idk what’s going on there. Sure there’s lots of banter and one-liners, but it left me with the impression that the film tried to have something for every ship (minus, very glaringly, Finnrose) – Finn seems to be trying to declare something to Rey, which seems to piss off Poe, but it’s hard to say if it’s because Poe’s into Rey as well, or into Finn, who also seems to be into Poe, but less than into Rey. And then there’s almost no interaction between Finn and Rose, who’s side-lined for the whole fucking movie, but there’s Jannah, who has either shippy or sibling vibes with Finn, I have no idea honestly, and Zorii, because I guess every ex-spice smuggler needs a Leia analogue.

Speaking of Leia, I have more to be displeased about – her death was fucking underwhelming, and not given much impact. Having Kylo/Ben haunted by Han (Ghost? Memory? Hallucination?), while not something I dislike in itself – Han had his big moment in TFA, and here he completely overshadows Leia’s. She doesn’t even get to have actual dialogue with Kylo/Ben, and the yeeting his saber should have happened after Leia reached him imo; switching that would have given a lot more impact to her death. The dialogue with Han doesn’t even need to change, but if Leia had contacted Kylo/Ben after the “I know what I have to do” repeat, it’d have been a more effective scene (and again, Han already had his big moment in TFA). The aftermath wasn’t particularly well-done either; characters are sad she died, of course, but it’s like perfunctory five minutes sadness and then she’s barely mentioned again, and her body just lies there in the background of some scenes while people talk.

I’m running out of steam, so in conclusion –

TROS I think mostly fails because it takes no risks; it’s trying to have something in it for everyone, and goes about it messily, without that much care for the big picture, which is how it ends pretending to have a happy end when we’ve just seen the final act of three generations of Skywalker tragedy. It doesn’t commit to anything, excepted leaving room for fun trio adventures sequels, because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that self-exiled Jedi are always found by some bright-eyed tentative student, if not a call for help from old friends.

[rogueshipagogo]

ppl have been asking me my opinions on space channel 5 vr... and i guess since i bought a vr headset off craigslist just so i could play it and speedrun it before work the day it came out... i should talk abt it now... i dont rly think i’ll be able to separate it into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things i think i’m just going to do a rambly stream of consciousness bc i have a headache... but i DO have good things to say abt this game... so st.... sta stay t tune  d

right off the bat, the thing i appreciate most abt this game- i like that space channel 5 vr doesnt have cash grab vibes. i Do genuinely believe that they Wanted to make this game For the people who are still obsessed with it, and that they ultimately did what they set out to do when they intended to scale certain aspects of the series up conceptually to match the way the fandom perceives it nowadays. but like i’ve said before... i’m not going to Disagree with the very common conclusion that it Needed to be longer, or at Least more intricate plot-wise. one of my fun and fresh excuses for sc5vr being as short as it is is because you arent really supposed to be playing vr games for too long anyways, its really disorienting and kinda painful, but even that doesn’t account for why so much of the game that we got is a rehash of old settings, concepts, songs, and characters. [i dont even have a problem with reusing old songs, i just think the ones they chose ended up being misleading]

for example i think it makes sense that the first report is a remake of the first games first report on the surface, it’s meant to take you back to the way the first game felt and give you an idea of what it means that the games classic scenery can be rendered in actual high quality detail now [same with the recurrence of events like encountering the space pirates in the asteroid belt/the last battle against a villain being singing to it about what it’s done wrong], but i really thought, like, report 1 was going to end up being a simulated scenario for the benefit of lou and kee’s training... which i dont think ended up being the case??? i think they really did write ‘ok here you are in the first game’s setting again, fighting the old enemies again, because... :^) ok have fun playing report 2!’

and then whats report 2... you fight another old boss from the first game... but theres Still no clear villain or motivation for anything thats happening... and there wont be until like... basically the end of the game...

like, glitter is a really cute character, but its kind of underwhelming that shes just a random citizen who was kidnapped by an entity that we NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT... like part 1 was extremely notable for being about corporate greed and corruption, part 2 honestly wasnt that political in comparison but at least made you do a think wrt purge’s motivation and his methods, and this game just has a plot device that feels like it’ll do smth but then ends up not doing anything beyond what we already learned about it from the information on its character bio before the game was out. if it turns out that cell x is actually relevant again in a future entry in the franchise and they do have a more developed concept for what cell x Is in mind, i’ll do an entire backflip, but for now its just chalked up to being the result of More Space Hijinks that dont need to be explained

ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE ALLUSIONS TO CELL X BEING AN ENTITY THAT FEEDS OFF OF DANCE ENERGY... it had me thinking that there would have to be some New Method of fighting it off that didn’t just lend it more power in the process, but nah apparently just tacking on the disclaimer ‘*this dance energy is not for glitter’ is enough to turn it from smth it can consume for power into big attacks you can use to kill it... like honestly it sounds like im asking for a lot from a game that has Never made too much sense, but considering that in part 2 they could add details like ‘oh didnt you know purge can open pocket dimensions? ulala is capable of manifesting tangible dance energy and the only other person who can do that is purge???’, its not like they havent come up with weird new shit for dance energy to do within the plot before. they just didnt do it in this game fsr

like did anyone else think that cell x/glitter was going to be the result of tossing purge out into deep space and him encountering the sc5 universe’s equivalent of an eldritch alien creature, smth more bestial than morolians?? even if purge wasnt part of it, when you say ‘uh oh, this guy Eats this society’s only source of energy!!!’ i expect the stakes to get HIGH, and i want the ramifications of it to be kinda STARTLING, because blank wanted money and purge wanted to ritualistically end the world but something this near to an ecological disaster that would force an entire paradigm shift hasn’t occurred yet in the series?? its totally new!!! there’s a lot they could do with this but OH DONT WORRY ABOUT IT EVERYONE ulala knows how to make dance energy kill cell x instead of feed it she’s got this we’re good no need to investigate more into all that

i can’t explain why the game is like this. and i dont expect grounding to address it in any meaningful way either. i’m sure they’re Aware of these complaints by now- the game reviewing community has Not been kind to sc5vr specifically due to all of these shortcomings [i didnt even touch on the issues with motion sensing and how many of the games mechanics were removed in favor of smth presumably easier to program yet much less satisfying, like Secret Moves just being mini quicktime events and Turning Your Ratings Into Stars just being replaced with the standard Three Strikes You’re Out method of scoring], but the pr team still seems very enthusiastic abt the game and is still promising dlc and potentially even more games in the series after this one- heres hoping that they’ll at least take these grievances to heart and consider making the experience not only more accessible [aka it will... go back to being a rhythm game with controller input.... and not... an exclusive vr experience...], but also as immersive and detailed as the old games, with less reused plot beats. i can let some of it off the hook in this game simply because i’m aware that it began its life as a tech demo that was only supposed to be that initial first report from the first game But Happening All Around You!, but i Really dont think they could get away with doing this little to expand upon the groundwork set by the first two games again. not with the way people remember part 2 being such a vast upgrade from part 1... the bar had been set so high that this just felt like a huge backslide into something even sillier and harder to take seriously than part 1 before we had any idea what kind of staying power the franchise would have as a hallmark of sega’s quirky antics. like... this game is what i think space channel 5 looks like to people who don’t understand the appeal of the first two games. and that scares me

but i guess for the most part, aside from wishing they had done more to revitalize the setting and the lore of the sc5 universe itself, im kind of glad it didnt do a lot to change the existing storylines the characters have kinda forged for themselves- here i was stressing out that they would pull out some plot development that would utterly and drastically change the way we talked abt the series for the rest of time, but so little happened and so little was added to the bank of sc5 lore that we can kind of all just carry on as usual and keep having the same headcanons we always had.

BUT!!! there ARE a lot of cute little details here and there that make the experience feel wholesome and like i said not an utter cashgrab- like so many of the character profiles referencing previous games [all of the references to npcs in this game being relatives of the npcs of the last games made me lose it] and how often ulala changes her expressions up and looks right at you and talks to you. the new music they wrote for the game also all slaps and everyones redesigns [if they got a redesign... rip pudding] are stunning

one of the most important things they did in this game was give a nice sort of Update to every character.... for example explaining that ulala isn’t a rookie reporter any more like she was in the first 2 games, that she’s moved up to being in charge of training new channel 5 reporters, and that while pudding is still somewhat stuck on her rivalry with ulala her career isn’t stagnant either, she was just cast in a romcom series as the lead... which is really nice considering how in the past she was portrayed as somewhat of a loser with almost no remaining fans left from her idol years

and you knew i was going to bring up jaguar at some point HES ALL OVER THIS GAME AND IT LITERALLY MADE ME FEEL LIKE MY LIFE WAS WORTH POWERING THROUGH THESE LAST FEW YEARS AND ALSO LIKE IM A GENIUS FOR SPENDING SO LONG POSTING EVERY SINGLE DAY ‘NO REALLY, HE’S THE SECONDARY PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY, ITS ABOUT CHANNEL 5 AS A COMPANY AND THEIR IMPACT ON EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER ENCOUNTERED THEM AND THAT INCLUDES JAGUAR AS WELL AS ULALA HES INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT BC SHE WOULDNT BE ALIVE IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIM’ i feel like it’s really incredible how in this game he has genuinely nice energy and doesnt withhold praise from ulala just to be helpful in a mysterious way later and he like HAS FRIENDS now. like consider how he went from disgraced former ch5 employee who got mad every time he saw them, to kidnapped robot henchman kinda humbled by the fact that now the turns tabled and ulala had to rescue Him, and now 3 years later his bio is all about how he has a new tv show thats super popular and he has a new entourage of ladies who he considers his '’’’’’comrades’’’’’’’ within the station he founded??? AND AFTER 20 YEARS THEY WERE FINALLY ABLE TO GIVE HIS MODEL JUICY ASS CHEEKS??????????????? NO MORE PANCAKE BOOTY???? THE BOY HAD A GLOWUP AND NO I WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT

WHEN I SAY MEOW MATCH THE POSE MOTHERFUCKERS THIS BLONDE BASTARD GETS TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE HUNDRED STAGE BATTLE NOW TOO THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE SPACE PIRATES BAYBEE

[sibyl-of-space]

Finished a binge re-play of Ocarina of Time (3D) for the first time in a very, very long time. Long-winded thoughts below.

Disclaimer: I played the original n64 version (red blood Ganondorf and all) ad NAUSEUM as a kid. It was by far in my top 3 most-played video games, and if you all know me you know that I don’t play a lot of video games, I play the same few over and over and over and become obsessed with them. As such, OoT is not new to me. I also played the 3D version once before, but it was over the course of several years when I was in college and that was a no-lens-of-truth run for the heck of it. I have not touched either since though, so this is the freshest eyes I’ve had on the game since I was probably about 6-7 years old seeing it for the first time. Do keep in mind though that I already knew virtually all the easter eggs and secrets and story and progression and had a vague recollection of the vast majority of dungeon concepts/puzzles before going in, because this game was my entire world for many formative years.

This game has really excellent dungeons. I ranked them below because I was inspired by my friend ML’s ranking (in fact a desire to rank them myself is what caused me to binge replay this in the first place), but honestly I found all of them engaging. My least favorite was ice cavern but even ice cavern has a really cool atmosphere and an interesting concept, it’s just a bit tedious and bottle management gameplay is not particularly fun to me.

1. Spirit Temple - unlike Shadow which uses invisible walls as a mechanic to trick you, Spirit subverts every single mechanic and puzzle you've encountered so far to really throw you. It's extremely clever. The ambience and overall design is also just excellent.

2. Forest Temple - gameplay wise it is fine but as the first adult temple it REALLY sets the scale and tone for the latter portion of your adventure; the vibe in this temple is just so fucking cool. The sacred forest meadow honestly does come off as sacred, ancient, and haunted but in an ethereal way as opposed to a spooky way. Ooh, I love it.

3. Ganon's Tower - the concept is excellent and the execution is solid, the medallion portion is interesting but the gauntlet up to Ganondorf with increasingly loud organ music and hallways filled with bats and just cool fights and great atmosphere makes this one of the sickest final dungeons I can think of. I was starting to be like "eh maybe the medallion rooms are a bit underwhelming" and then I got hit with the fakeout room in Light that just won me over with how cheeky it was. All the medallion rooms felt a bit like Spirit temple with how they played with expectations, which (ironically?) made the spirit portion actually the least good.

4. Gerudo Fortress - I'm counting mini dungeons and the whole espionage thing is just SO much fun. Break into a thieves’ hideout, jump across rooftops and shoot people with your bow to sneak past them?? WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?????

5. Water Temple - okay I gotta say this replay really sold me on water temple. It's a cool concept and a fantastic atmosphere, and 3DS quality of life changes (boot swap ease of access + very clearly visually marked water level change rooms) made me actually thoroughly enjoy playing it. Also Dark Link is rightfully hailed as one of the coolest, if not the coolest, miniboss(es) in the game, so extra points there.

6. Bottom of the Well - Shadow's invisible wall mechanic is much more interesting when you can't see through them and everything is a potential trap. Falling down to the basement does get frustrating but that room where you light torches to open coffins and a FLOATING GIBDO EMERGES makes up for it, holy crap. Shadow Temple is underwhelming because Bottom of the Well already did what it tries to do but better.

7. Dodongo's Cavern - hey man I like blowing up dinosaurs this dungeon is just solid 0 complaints

8. Fire Temple - Fire Temple is also solid I just a) am so used to the original music that this version feels empty and lacking atmosphere by comparison, and b) find the above temples cooler. Shout out to dragon whack-a-mole boss fight though.

9. Shadow Temple - this suffers from being the only temple I really had completely memorized (I think my weenie friends* must have made me beat it for them as kids) so playing it this time was really just going through the motions; it didn’t get the chance to win me over because I remembered all of it and nothing particularly stuck out to me as being super clever. The boat ride, however, is sick as hell.

(*disclaimer: I was also a weenie. Shadow Temple scared the absolute pants off of me. But I clearly played it enough times that the entire thing was etched into my memory regardless, so.)

10. Deku Tree - does its job as tutorial dungeon, nice atmosphere, thats about all there is to say.

11. Jabu-Jabu's Belly - redeeming feature is using Ruto as a projectile. Throwing her at the ceiling switches will never not be hilarious. Honestly not a bad dungeon, merely gross and I like the other ones better.

12. Ice Cavern - I used to dread Ice Cavern; this time around I just found it tedious. The atmosphere is successful - it really feels cold and chilling - but not appealing enough to make up for it being dull and kind of annoying. Has the potential to be really cool if the blue fire were used in a more interesting way than “fill your bottles and dump them elsewhere.”

BUT, I feel it would be a complete disservice to my younger self and my younger self’s reasons for playing this game so much, if I focus completely on dungeons and disproportionately on gameplay in a review. Because while gameplay is a huge reason I kept going back to it (hard to want to go back to a game if it isn't fun to play), that’s not what made me love it so much, and a replay has given me fresher eyes to enjoy everything else it has to offer.

Ocarina of Time creates a world and a story that I deeply cared about, and revisiting as an adult, I find if anything I have more take-aways than I did previously. I have always really enjoyed coming-of-age narratives when done well, and this is a coming-of-age narrative done REMARKABLY well. You see dumb bratty kids doing dumb bratty kid things and then see the mature people they’ve grown into 7 years later; the game does not make the mistake of projecting a personality onto a voiceless protagonist, but it does imply a narrative arc for him (and you) regardless just through how strong and cool and awesome you get by the end and all the rad shit you’ve accomplished over the course of the game. It manages to very, very successfully make its story about other characters who DO have personalities, but also make you as the blank slate mc cool guy hero very much have a part in that story that feels very earned and satisfying.

Link doesn’t have a personality. You can project whatever the hell you want onto him or nothing at all. Ocarina of Time makes that *work*, because it doesn’t try to frame him as either ~adult in a child’s body~ or ~child in adult’s body~, it just lets you experience the literal growth from a kid who has to jump to reach ledges and has to thwack things twice with a slingshot and tiny sword, to an adult who can LAUNCH MASSIVE PILLARS INTO THE AIR and one-shot previously difficult enemies, and interpret that however you will. I think the most powerful example of this is going back in time again after doing several adult temples, and entering the bottom of the well, where you see enemies you’ve previously only encountered as an adult, and feel confident that you can tackle them as a child, too.

I really love these kinds of narratives. Where the growth of the main character is purely in the sense of you as the player becoming more adept and stronger, and the context of the story makes that mean something, but the game doesn’t try and pretend the avatar itself has a 3-dimensional personality.

I also think the balance between narrative and gameplay is excellent once it hits its groove. The beginning is very hand-holdy (Navi taught me how to open a door after I had already opened a door elsewhere because she’s scripted to do it at a specific door even though you can technically get to a later one first. lol), and I very firmly believe that with Saria’s Song as a device that lets you seek advice when you want to, it is completely unnecessary to have Navi yell at you what she thinks you should be doing. That said, the game doesn’t stop you from doing whatever the hell you want, and the number and depth of dungeons makes exploring and killing stuff by FAR the meat of the game, over the story. There is a suggested dungeon order, but you have some freedom if you’d rather do them a bit out of order, and there is a LOT of fun side stuff you can do and get rewarded for.

Most of that side stuff is an excellent way to highlight the humor in this game. If you beat Malon’s horse race record she mails a literal fucking cow to your house. Your house in Kokiri Forest. You just show up and there is a fucking cow in your house. That is the funniest thing that has ever happened in a game in the history of forever, sorry. You can race the running man, and all of the other sidequests in the game make you think there is a beatable goal you’ll be rewarded for, and the fucker just goes “lol good try but I beat you by one second. :)” You can blow up the Gossip Stones and they turn into rocketships and launch into space. After you beat the game, and have a really poignant moment with Princess Zelda where she sends you back in time, there is a completely out of nowhere dance party featuring the entire cast in celebration. The game does not try to explain this. It just gives you a dance party, and after such a bittersweet finale and such a fun and engaging game, a no-context dance party is exactly what it needs. A line o Gerudo doing the can-can? Thank you, yes please.

There is SO much that this game does not feel any need to justify in-game, that it simply puts in there because it is fun or cool or both, and I appreciate that so much. There are easter eggs out the butt (still haven’t bothered catching the Hylian Loach and I have still NEVER found the sinking lure despite following every guide in existence). Most of the temples imply some sort of greater history that is not even the slightest bit touched on. It has a very cohesive “core” game that has a start-to-finish suggested progression and a matching narrative, and it has absolute mountains of random shit outside of that it in no way pretends to justify. It explains just enough to give it ground to stand on, but no more, leaving you with more questions than answers. That ambiguity drove me nuts as a kid, but now, I think it’s also why I kept coming back. I wanted answers the game wouldn’t give me so I felt compelled to try and find them myself.

Ocarina of Time’s ending is incredible in ways I am just now able to appreciate. First of all, Zelda is like “I’m gonna send you back in time now” and pulls up the Ocarina and instead of playing the Song of Time which everything in the game implies she should, she plays Zelda’s Lullaby and hesitates just enough on the last note as you are sent back in the past - oof, that’s a good moment. The entire game you’re told about how the Kokiri can’t survive outside of the forest and suddenly they’re at Lon Lon Ranch having a dance party. You walk away from the Master Sword and seal it back in the temple, but nonsensically are then able to meet Zelda in her garden as if nothing had happened, meaning she sent you back so far it erased not just the adult timeline but also everything you accomplished as a child too? So many questions, but the fact that it does not even bother to answer them and just leaves you with such an open-ended image of you and Zelda as kids, calling back to that very early moment after the first dungeon in the game, and you can interpret for yourself what exactly that means.

I’m getting rambly (HAHA as if I’m ever not) so I should wrap this up shortly. Ocarina of Time’s ending is why I am so vehemently opposed to the concept of a ~Zelda Timeline~. The ending is nonsensical if you try to apply concrete logic to it. This game proposes ideas and makes me feel a certain way about them and the ending succeeds in providing just enough closure to make me satisfied and just enough open-ness that makes me want to keep coming back to it to experience it again. It’s not an open-and-shut piece of history of a fake world, it’s a really remarkable journey thats ambiguity is what allows it to feel so very magical.

Ooh boy I can’t wait to replay MM again, but that is a game I’ve never stopped playing, so it’ll be anything but fresh. It hits different right after completing OoT, though. The only way to follow up on a story like Ocarina of Time is to be even MORE batshit, ambiguous, and loose with your definition of how time works.

[chromecutie]

Not A Ghost - part 22

A/N - Multi-part fic. Colossus x OC where OC has come home after being wrongfully imprisoned in the Icebox. Warnings for whole fic - references and flashbacks to harsh prison environment, including various types of abuse. Takes place shortly after events in Deadpool 2. Whole thing will end up on my AO3 eventually.

Taglist: @emma-frxst  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @holamor ​  @empressme-bitch  @marvel-is-perfection  @hazilyimagine ​ @marvelhead17 @rovvboat @angstybadboytrash ​ @whitewitchdown ​ @master-sass-blast ​ @mori-fandom @mooleche @dandyqueen @emberbent . Wanna be added or removed? Holla at me.

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A thin crust of dried blood cracked and flaked off as Rhonda flexed and pointed her toes. She meant to unwind in her practice room, but she had stepped on a stray shard of glass from dropping a light bulb a few days ago. It was a minor nick, and not even particularly painful once she got the shard out, but she didn’t want to make a mess on the floor by continuing to dance. So, grabbing one of the socks she’d peeled off and pressed to her foot to absorb the blood, Rhonda stretched on the floor. She breathed deeply, relaxing into the lengthening muscle, gently testing her range of motion. A lot of it had returned. With more time, she might even get back to her near-contortionist level of flexibility. 

System of a Down alternated with Linkin Park and Marilyn Manson on a playlist of 90s and 00s rock. The familiar rhythms of high energy, angry songs were soothing, even if Rhonda was only stretching instead of dancing. She mulled over the day. Did Piotr and Ororo judge her for quitting X-Men? What was that stern faced stranger after? Was he DMC? Did Ellie and Yukio know what they were risking by being part of X-Men? If the DMC was looking for her, was she endangering her loved ones by being close to them?

With an extra stretch, Rhonda reached past her extended legs and grabbed her hoodie. The business card Michelle had given her was still in the pocket. Bending the corners with her fingernails, she figured a therapist might help her manage her guilt and anxiety and grief, but what if there was real danger?

Her concentration shattered when someone knocked on the door frame. Snapping her head toward the sound, she saw Ellie leaning her shoulder against it. Fidgeting with her little chain bracelets, Ellie said, “Colossus said I should give you space, but...I wanted to see you.”

Rhonda leaned back until she was flat on the floor, and slunk a few inches to reach her phone to turn the music lower, and slip the card back in her hoodie pocket. “Come sit,” she said with a warm smile as she swept her legs to pull herself into a sitting position as well. Marilyn Manson started growling and rasping about something disturbing as Ellie kicked off her boots to join Rhonda. “What’s up, spikey-butt?”

“Ha, I haven’t been called that in forever,” Ellie gave a short laugh. She leaned back on her palms and absently flexed and pointed her toes, just the way Rhonda had taught her as a child. “Well, we missed you for coffee and I hadn’t seen you since lunch. Things got...kinda tense.”

Rhonda nodded apologetically, “I really needed some time dancing that wasn’t in the middle of the night.”

“No, for sure,” Ellie agreed, “I just wanted to see you.” Her eyebrows lifted in hesitation.

“Here,” Rhonda held out her hand and straddled her legs. Ellie straddled her legs as well and allowed her feet to rest against Rhonda’s ankles. They joined hands and started slowly pulling each other back and forth -- a buddy stretch for hips and inner thighs. Ellie could only lean forward a few inches, but Rhonda could get almost flush to the ground.

“When were you sure you wanted to marry Colossus?” Ellie blurted between songs.

A surprised smile warmed Rhonda’s face. Without breaking her rhythm, she held their stretches a moment longer before answering, “I think deep down, I was probably always sure.”

Ellie pursed her lips and glanced around the room as they shifted so they could stretch their hamstrings. She clarified, “But did something...happen? Something that made you feel, like, extra sure or felt like fireworks?”

Rhonda’s teeth flashed in a big grin, not quite giggling at the question. “Love doesn’t always work like that, but let me think a minute.” Folding herself over an outstretched leg, Rhonda rested her face against her knee. After a few breaths, she sat up again, “It was a bunch of little things. Things that were consistent. I liked who I was when I was with Piotr, and he proved every day that he cared for me, even when we were having a bad day. And by the time he proposed, we had already felt married for a while.” Ellie frowned thoughtfully and Rhonda asked, “Is that an underwhelming answer?”

“I mean...kind of.” Ellie’s cheeks puffed out in a big sigh. She hesitated, then said, “I...really love Yukio.” She pulled her knees up a bit, resting her elbows on her thighs and hooking her fingers together. Her outfit was mostly shades of black and charcoal grey -- except for the hot pink socks as she absently wiggled her toes. “I think I wanna marry her, but...how do you know you’re sure?”

The question and the sentiment tugged at Rhonda’s heart so much she had to look away for a minute. She started working through a few stretches for her shoulders. “Pretty early in our relationship,” she said, “Things just felt...natural. Neither of us had dated that many people before, but being with him felt like home.” Rhonda smiled, “We bring out the best in each other, and when missions called for us both, that’s when we made our best decisions.” After a pause, she reached and thumbed Ellie’s cheek, “Hey...what’s it like for you?”

Ellie smiled, even blushed a little, and lifted her shoulders to her ears before fidgeting and slapping at her thighs. “I feel like I can handle anything if she’s around. Anything,” she chuffed a little sound, “Next time the house blows up, or Deadpool drags us into some bullshit, or if you...I know I’ll be okay, I’ll get through it, if Yukio’s there.”

For the first time, Ellie noticed fine crow’s feet framing Rhonda’s dark eyes as she smiled. It made her look older than Ellie had always thought of her, and it might have made her sad if her unofficial-adoptive-mom didn’t also look like some kind of forest trickster. “If you love her that much,” Rhonda grinned so hard she was squinting, “and you’ve found each other so young, you’re extremely lucky.”

Ellie narrowed her eyes in suspicion, “You don’t think we’re too young to get married?”

Slipping her socks back onto her feet, Rhonda stood and started absently moving through a few steps and turns. “I’m not saying you should go get married tomorrow,” she said, “but whatever age -- marriage is about choosing each other every day. It’s a mindset.” Her toes left lines in the thin film of dust on the floor. “If you two already know a good relationship is about choosing to be supportive and kind every day, then I think you’ll be fine. Married or not. Just make sure to leave room for each other to grow.” She winced a little when her ankle popped during a turn and grunted. “Time will change you both a lot, but you can keep choosing each other. Every day.”

“Like you and Colossus,” Ellie said.

Rhonda’s arms, arced overhead, fell to her sides like leaves on a breeze. “Huh,” she mused, “You should probably be talking to him about this instead.”

Wrinkling her nose in a nervous groan, Ellie said, “Nah, I figured he would just say I’m too young.”

“Ha!” Rhonda took a minute to grab her hoodie while she laughed heartily. “I think he’ll surprise you.” Feeling the therapist’s business card in the pocket reminded her of her previous train of thought. A jarring guitar solo by System of a Down cut off in silence as Rhonda turned off the music, picking up her phone and speaker. Drumming her fingers on the speaker, Rhonda asked, “Ellie...are you happy in the X-Men?”

Ellie was stumbling with putting one boot back on. “I mean…” she twitched her eyebrows together as she shifted to get her other boot, “Yeah.”

Edging for the door, Rhonda chewed her lip. “What would you do if you weren’t on the team?”

“I…” Ellie shrugged, “I dunno.”

“You’ve never considered what you’d be doing if you weren’t part of X-Men?” Rhonda eyed her warily.

Ellie hedged, “I mean, engineering school sounds neat, I guess, but you know the good schools still aren’t letting mutants in, not if they can help it.” She chewed a fingernail and twisted her feet like she was putting out a cigarette. “The best a mutant can do is make a life of helping people or--” she caught herself and looked at Rhonda.

“Or?”

“Or get thrown somewhere like the Icebox.”

To Ellie’s surprise, Rhonda let out a grim laugh muffled in the back of her throat. “Or you get both.”

“I thought you would’ve wanted me on the team,” Ellie’s gaze shifted up and down, “We used to talk about how you’d mentor me.”

Rhonda held her things tightly to her chest. “Maybe time changed how I feel about that.”

Ellie crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “Time or getting tortured in prison?”

Rhonda’s gaze turned cold. “Pick one.”

--

After months of being home, Rhonda finally stood in front of the doors to Charles Xavier’s office. He was her leader, her boss, and in a lot of ways, her father figure since she was eleven years old. She couldn’t make herself face him before now. Questions burned in her skull that she wasn’t sure she could bear the answers to, and she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to answer the questions he would ask.

She knocked. The door opened. Her feet didn’t make a sound on the plush antique rugs. Rhonda heard a quiet, mechanical whirring as Professor Charles Xavier turned his chair to face her.

“Rhonda, my dear,” he said with the warmest, kindest smile, “I knew you would come to me when you were ready.” He hardly looked any different from when she had last seen him, except his few wrinkles might be a little deeper now.

The furnishings were new, but a good replica of Xavier’s more traditional tastes - lots of oiled wood and supple leather. Maybe his office had been destroyed within the last few years, requiring extensive remodeling. Adding a pinch of guilt to her stack of feelings, Rhonda faltered, “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

Xavier raised his palms, like a shrug but more dignified. “You weren’t ready,” he said simply. “Would you care to sit?” He gestured to a burgundy leather couch. The upholstery squeaked under Rhonda as she shifted nervously. “Well, let’s have it,” he said, as kindly and directly as ever.

Rhonda had to consciously unclench her jaw in order to say, “Charles, what the fuck?” It came out sharper than she meant, so she took a breath and tried again, “Why has everyone told me you couldn’t find me?”

Nodding, taking a slow breath, he answered, “Because I could not, despite Cerebro and my abilities. And it will forever be one of my many regrets.”

Rhonda propped an elbow on the arm of the sofa, rubbing her forehead. Xavier continued, “Ever since I heard you were in the Icebox, I have had my suspicions. I have operatives in the process of uncovering information that would prove them.” As he watched her, he could still see the frightened girl he’d met years ago. The sadness and worry in her expression was achingly familiar. “But that’s not all, is it?” he asked.

“I can’t believe you let Ellie onto the team,” Rhonda blurted, “With all the risks, all the…” words failed her and she covered her mouth with one hand. She shook her head, “We have to find a way to kick her out or make her quit. Yukio too.”

“Ellie is well aware of the dangers of field duty,” Xavier was firm, “Just as you were. She knows she is risking her life, as every member of this team does.”

“No,” Rhonda said sharply, pointing a stern finger, “we knew we were risking our deaths. It’s why Piotr and I decided not to have children - neither of us wanted to quit X-Men, but we couldn’t risk leaving another mutant orphan behind.”

Xavier replied quietly, “At least half of the residents in this house remember those arguments.” 

Her voice came out in broken croaks, “The real risk...what I actually lost -- what I -- surviving...sometimes I think I should have died.”

Xavier frowned with concern, his voice hardly above a whisper, “May I see?”

Rhonda squeezed her eyes shut. When she nodded, Xavier lightly rested his fingertips against her temple. While she felt the sticky-fingered sensation of a telepath combing her mind, Xavier was flooded with flashes of everything Rhonda could remember of her imprisonment. The stench of human stink and bleach; the sensation of being covered in blood up to the elbows; the dull, echoing noise that never stopped; the same tasteless food over and over until going a day without food just to avoid eating it again becomes normal; the primal ferocity, the hot rage being the only warm thing; the hopelessness, the betrayal; feeling cut off from her identity; worst of all -- the body count Rhonda had stacked with her own hands.

Xavier pulled away from her, heart heavy. They sat a quiet moment before Xavier slowly said, “Oh, Rhonda, I’m so sorry.”

She brought her feet up onto the couch, tucking them underneath herself. 

“How much does Piotr know?” he asked.

“Bits and pieces,” Rhonda rasped with a tight throat. “He thinks he wants to know all of it, but...I just can’t tell him everything.” Idly, as if to prove to herself she could still do it, Rhonda threaded lightning over her fingers, past her hands, and around her forearms, watching the green and blue threads lace across her skin.

“As difficult as the last six years have been,” Xavier said, “you survived, and now you are home. I understand your wish not to resume your duties with the X-Men, but you cannot expect me to force anyone to quit.”

Rhonda dropped the lightning and furrowed her brows, “I just spent a good couple hours proving my existence in court today. I’m officially back on the grid, and the DMC is still out there. They could be looking for me, or worse -- what happened to me could happen to Ellie or Yukio, Ororo, Piotr -- anyone. They can do this to anyone, with no consequences, and they’ll keep doing it until they’re stopped. If you won’t kick her out, you need to bring down the DMC.” 

Xavier kept his voice level, reserved, “The DMC is a powerful and complicated government agency. One with which we have a very tenuous working relationship.”

Knuckles tight, blood freezing, jaw clenched, sparks dancing around her, Rhonda forced out, “And you saw what they’re willing to do to someone they’re not even charging with a crime.” She sucked in a breath. “You cannot be telling me you won’t take action.”

He made a placating gesture, palms up, patting the air. “We will take action, Rhonda, but we must tread carefully.” Xavier slowly extended a hand toward one of his many foster children, and waited for her to drop the sparks before touching her shoulder. “If they are as dangerous as you say, we must work as subtly as possible. And start diplomatically.”

“Diplomatically,” Rhonda scoffed bitterly, hot tears burning her eyes. “Every one of those officers ought to be charged with war crimes. The DMC is just another fucking tool in the anti-mutant war.”

“Breathe, my dear,” Xavier soothed. He gently squeezed her shoulder before releasing it. “It’s clear that you’re driven not by vengeance for yourself, but by your love for others. If you wish to retire from X-Men, you’ve more than earned it; however, I must ask that you don’t interfere with another member’s status. It means as much to Ellie as it did to you at her age.”

The words hit Rhonda like a shiv between some ribs. There would be no persuading Ellie or Yukio to quit X-Men on their own, and if there was no chance of kicking them off the team...as long as the DMC operated with impunity, everyone Rhonda loved was in terrible danger. Her stomach turned.

She abruptly stood and headed for the door. As she opened it, Xavier called her name and she looked over her shoulder. 

“Through everything,” he said, “your heart has always been in the right place. Don’t forget that about yourself." He added with a knowing-too-much glance, "You will always have a home with us, no matter what happens."

For how awful she felt, she didn’t want to believe him. Yet, he wasn’t the type to tell a kind lie, especially after reading someone’s mind. With the slightest nod, she left his office and let the door close behind her.

[videobun-gameblog]

Rambling about Sekiro (spoilers below read me):

- Evolution of "i'm scared to block, i like Souls rolling" to "okay i'll block and sort of deflect but only basic attacks i know" to "okay I don't even need to dash except for perilous attacks!"  to "okay now i can actually flip between defense and offense on the fly and this is SUPER fun!!"

- Basically, I've never in my life played a game where offense and defense mesh so well together, where blocking is FUN and viable, and seeing your attacks get deflected is actually GOOD and not just infuriating, because you're making progress in the fight.

- People've said Dark Souls is a little like a hard, combat focused Zelda but really, THIS is what that's like, and I'm in love. From did it.

- The upgrade system is neat and I appreciate it for rewarding exploration but also allowing you to challenge yourself by refusing to use them. Also it just works out really well for speedrun balancing and I can’t wait to see the evolution of speedruns in this game because there’s a good balance between wanting more power, posture, and HP and wanting to go as fast as possible.

SPOILERS UNDER CUT, DON’T DO IT UNLESS YOU ARE ALREADY AT /END/ GAME OR DO NOT EVER INTEND TO BUY SEKIRO

   ---!!!SPOILER ZONE (I'm serious do not read if you intend to play or are still playing)!!!---

 (long space for people who might see this on the blog first as opposed to via the dashboard)

- I absolutely adore the weird scientific/medicinal/supernatural macabre shit in this game. The red lump item gave me chills picking it up the first time. Same thing with seeing the first undying monk thing, I couldn't even burn it (but then I finally did it with THAT ITEM... more below)

- haha hand in a jar! haha that guy that flies at you... haha, monkey :) haha ninja dog...... hell even the headless... I love From's mix of disturbing humor (or just flat out being funny despite the bleak setting). Their version of mimics in Souls sum this up best but there's plenty of things here too that are just flat out hilarious and I love it.

- Oh Christ, speaking of, I did the Doctor questline and oh god it gave me some of that Bloodborne dread.

- "IS THAT A FUCKING DARK SOULS?" also lmao when he falls

- "IS THAT THE FUCKING CHAOS BLADE!??" oooh fuck oh fuck *pushes up glasses* remember the cut content with Shiva in Dark Souls???

- Sekiro/Wolf having the "defy your father, break the code" moment was SO good and I love that whole archetype. Simple but I just... <3 Oh god and When Owl is basically just like "that's my boy" when you kill him... I... u_u

- giving Lord Kuro rice was SO cute and just furthered my love for Wolf because this child is teaching him part of how to be himself and to also enjoy things (basically chill the fuck out you freaking murder machine, you are more than that) through compassion, friendship, and a reminder of his own childhood and I don't really get emotional over stuff like this often but awww..! ;_;

- The sake dialogue moments are so good. A very simple concept but I love the nature of sharing part of one's past through a friendly offering, it felt like a really good balance between clear concise mechanics (sake) fitting neatly with narrative elements. It's basically just a dialogue item but it didn't FEEL that way. I felt genuine excitement upon finding new drinks knowing I'd get a chance to share it.

- OH MY GOD ENFEEBLED IS SUCH A GOOD ASS STATUS EFFECT??? THE ANIMATIONS!!! He just hobbles around like a dude who just suddenly became an old man (’cuz that’s literally what it is) with his sword as a cane??? I LOVE FROMSOFT! That shit is so wonderfully expressive but also fits perfectly with that style of horror humor (and I lied before. Mimics are beaten by THIS status effect. New number one spot for my fave moment like this in a From game)

- Oh also speaking of animation, those fucking boss kills!!! *deep inhale* BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- While not my favorite boss mechanically, SPECIFICALLY that kill animation on the Giant Ape... DUDE HOLY FUUUCK! and then the fake out!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SO good!

- Lady Butterfly was a fun main boss and O'Rin of the Water was a fun mini boss. Plenty of others were fantastic but those stood out. Like, two of my friends so far have expressed the same feelings on Butterfly! Good Fight!

- I even liked the gimmick fights! They did it! Gimmick fights that are actually well designed! They're more about exploring mechanics outside of pure combat without punishing you super fucking hard at a random point just because they can. (Bed of Chaos, Micolash) Strangely a little bit of a breather, which is fitting because it’s a perfect counter balance to the stress of finding yourself in a unique situation. They actually give you time to analyze, think, and breathe it all in!

- I'm currently stuck on an end game "secret"/optional boss with some classic From Lore Implications *ok hand* and it's brutal af. I am excited to learn how to master this.

 --- SLIGHT CRITICISM (basically the “i love it so much i can’t help but see small flaws but I’d still give it a 10/10 anyway” part) ---

- I like that even when they repeat mid bosses they usually put them in a new arena to change things up. I think a FEW were a little overdone though and could have benefited from maybe... I dunno, a couple new ones in their place or at LEAST alternate movesets to change things up a bit more than just location BUT the combat is engaging enough that I don't mind, I just found it a LITTLE weird how despite the rest of the polish there was a tad bit of copy-paste (but far FAR less egregious than DS1)

- Idk how replayable this game is gonna be but I can definitely see myself finishing NG+ and doing two more playthroughs for all endings. It's replayable more in the Metroid or Legend of Zelda sense and less in the Dark Souls character build sense. "I wanna try a new route first and beat bosses more effectively this time. I wanna be as stealthy as possible this run" etc. and not "I wanna make an int build" (less a critique and more an observation on how it differs from Souls replayability)

- Dragonrot is like, the only actual flaw in this game imo. It doesn't have enough depth. I was thinking it would have more end game narrative significance but it's just something tied to the sort of useless unseen aid mechanic which fails to really incentivize risky play. If anything it just encourages you to grind before bosses to cap the current exp bar and save/store/spend sen by spending 10 minutes fucking around elsewhere until you're ready so that you have nothing to lose. I feel like it should have done some world state changes and something more intense, like ACTUALLY having npcs die and having a healthier world state and an unhealthier world state where some enemies get weaker or stronger based on which extreme your world is on etc. etc. basically ANYTHING more than it is now. But this is super minor relative to how good everything else is. It just felt underwhelming considering all it was hyped up to be. It’s one of those things I just ignore as if it wasn’t there and it’s just as good because it has little effect on the parts that I DO like the game for.

 ---FINAL NOTE---

- To end on a positive note though, Sekiro managed to be a game that iterated on the Souls formula by defying part of what it became (dodge heavy, block averse play, slow, parrying primarily for one-shotting) yet still providing the same feelings of starting one of those games fresh. Part of what makes it FEEL Souls-y is precisely what separates it from those games, and it's all too good to really put into words at the moment. Like sure it's got Estus, bonfires, and a kick-your-ass "you're going to get stuck and frustrated and that's how it is" attitude and it's got a similar enough control scheme, but beyond that, there's just so much more combat and movement depth that it's a whole new beast, and I love it so much.

[gascon-en-exil]

I Liked Fates Before It Was Cool!: Revelation Part 3

Prologue

Opening Chapters

Revelation Part 1

Revelation Part 2

Chapters 20-Endgame, in which the Fire Emblem is a chainsaw.

Chapter 20 + 21

I bet this scene looks wonderfully silly if Takumi is promoted to kinshi knight.

I’m going to be combining many of the chapters in this post, because even though they take a while to play through there’s not much to them in terms of story. Of course Anthony is evil and Corrin has to kill him, although not before Anankos turns him into a Faceless (or was he one all along?). I think I would have preferred the humor of fighting him as a village with ludicrous stats over the sympathy grab they go for with him. It’s also worth pointing out that it’s the three older Nohrians who call out Corrin for trusting Anthony first, putting some of that healthy distrust they show off in Conquest to work again. I don’t like that we’re apparently meant to find Corrin’s endlessly trusting nature endearing because it’s what brought this group together and not, you know, self-insert narrative privilege, but whatever. None of FE14′s routes could go forward at certain points if Corrin didn’t occasionally grab the idiot ball, and at least this time they had the foresight to come up with a backup plan.

And I am actually glad that they did so with Anthony, because while Chapter 20 is more standard Valla fare the trap they fall into in 21 comes with a clever premise that’s fun to play around. I dislike how the chapters continue to be loaded down with entirely too many drops and chests as I mentioned last time, but I find that as long as you plot out routes for your units before you start the size of these maps isn’t a problem. 

One final question, since I didn’t bring it up in Birthright: why is the S rank naginata, which is obtained in Chapter 20 in Revelation, called a Waterwheel? Just...why? I have never found an explanation for this.

Chapter 22 + 23

Well of course she has, just look at those growths.

I find Arete intriguing as a character, though not so much either version that appears on screen - the brainwashed servant of Anankos or the sentimental dying mother - but rather the idea of her as she existed against the backdrop of the volatile Nohrian court. That element of her has to pieced together from inferences and bits of information in supports, but it’s clearly there. I fully understand why Revelation includes characters like Arete and Anthony. They have to convey over only a few chapters the nature of Anankos’s rule over Valla and its dominated subjects as well as make for credible threats to Corrin as they trek through the kingdom. This is the main reason why Arete’s real characterization is, much like Garon’s, extremely minimal, because the pain it inflicts on Azura is meant to demonstrate how Anankos operates. It’s a natural lead-in to the antagonists inside Gyges, certainly.

Kind of a shame though that the most lasting impression Arete leaves on the player is that of a boss who just will not give up, seeing as you have to fight her three times. I can’t think of another antagonist in the series who’s fought so often over such a short span of chapters. What’s worse, neither of these maps is very engaging; the first borrows the forest-burning Dragon Veins from Midori’s paralogue without the gimmick of chasing down the boss, while the second demonstrates something everyone already knew, that turn-based platforming is not fun. Scarlet’s return as an enemy leaves no impact unless Corrin or Ryoma fights her, so that’s not working too well either.

Chapter 24 + 25

Chapter 24’s gimmick may not be original, but an optional stealth mission works substantially better here than it does in Path of Radiance’s earlygame since Revelation is already well-established at this point as being one long experiment with gimmicks. I also like how the door mechanic plays into Corrin’s desire to trust Mikoto - and that the last door rewards players willing to go against the desperately trusting personality of their self-insert. Plus, it’s not a complete cheat; one of the first things Mikoto tells Corrin in the chapter is the blue doors are the correct ones, so her contradiction at the ends rings false even on the level of a simple puzzle. For what it’s worth mentioning I never bother with the stealth option here just as I don’t in FE9, because it’s tedious and requires a very specific setup and execution for a reward that’s not really worth it.

I find Mikoto difficult to engage with on an emotional level however, for much the same reason that her death didn’t resonate very strongly with me. It helps this time that all of the Hoshidan royals verbally react to seeing her again, but for Corrin this feels like a less substantial meeting than Azura’s reunion with Arete. Azura and the Hoshidans have memories of these women and the positive influence they played in their lives, whereas Corrin has, what, a few days’ worth of interactions with their mother and some very hazy memories from before their capture? I do like how Mikoto reveals at the end that Corrin is Vallite royalty, not because it adds even more to the super special Avatar status or because it establishes that Corrin and Azura are cousins (surprise sort-of incest, yay!) but because it re-contextualizes their place in the world both connected to and apart from the other royal families. It does absolutely do those two other things and is rather awkward on that basis, of course, but Vallite Corirn is able to comfortably exist in between their two families while still having a place to call their own. A ruined, empty place, but that’s for the epilogue.

At first I was planning on doing Chapter 25 as a separate entry, but then I played through it and realized that it’s just more moving platforms and hard enemies with another family reunion boss that’s nowhere near as emotionally affecting as the previous two. We see nothing of Sumeragi prior to this chapter aside from his brief death scene flashback, and unlike Arete his role as a parental figure overlaps significantly with someone else’s. I don’t get a strong sense of how important this reunion is to anyone except maybe Ryoma, and half of that comes from remembering their one-on-one back in Chapter 5. Come to think of it, the disguised Sumeragi has that quick cameo on the Birthright ship map, right? I suppose that’s technically the only appearance of anything from Valla on that route, although in retrospect it’s even more random for him to have shown up there. So, yeah, harder chapter, but can’t really compare to what came just before as a story moment.

Chapter 26

Betrayed by a Jagen! Who’d have thought we’d ever see the day...unless you consider Orson in FE8 a Jagen, that is.

As big twists in FE go Gunter’s doesn’t quite measure up to some others, like the Belhalla barbecue or Nasir in FE9, but it took me some thinking to properly parse out why this isn’t as effective a climactic reveal despite adequate use of foreshadowing and setting. It actually ties into one of the overall problems I have with Revelation and another time it compares unfavorably to Radiant Dawn (and I’m sorry to keep bringing it up if you hate FE10 or haven’t played it, but the parallels really are apt). One of the biggest genuine criticisms of that game’s plot, particularly near the end, is that the story gets too big for itself and spends all of its final chapters throwing at the player numerous major reveals about the plot and setting, many of them not directly related to each other and only immediately involving some dozen or so of a cast of playable and/or named characters about ten times that size. Like Revelation the pacing is utterly frantic, and moreover it gives the player the impression that in order to understand the Tellius setting as a whole and what themes the developers of that duology were aiming for you have to be intimately familiar with the content of Radiant Dawn’s endgame specifically, which...yeah, you kind of do. How that could have been better handled would be a subject for another post, but suffice it to say that the apparent conclusion that Sephiran did every bad thing (except racism) ever in Tellius as a means of tying everything together rings hollow even in-universe. 

The narrative approach of the Valla chapters is similar, but most of its big moments are clearly aiming to be character-driven, fueled by the relationships between the royals and their loved ones forced into fighting them. As I brought up earlier in this post however not many of those moments land because of another major problem Revelation shares with Radiant Dawn, that there’s been almost no time to develop any of those relationships with the plot moving at such a speed. You’d have to have seen Gunter’s supports - which aren’t even accessible on this route - to be able to appreciate at all his history with Corrin, since from the story text of Revelation and Conquest too for that matter there’s little to suggest anything beyond a straightforward master-servant relationship until the very moment when Corrin is pleading with Gunter to resist Anankos’s possession. Without that context the most relatable emotional moment of this chapter comes from Ryoma’s anger at learning the identity of Scarlet’s murderer, which we’re clearly not meant to dwell on much because that might imply Ryoma is capable of holding a grudge. It doesn’t help either that Gunter’s genuine hatred of Garon gets muddied by the Anankos possession angle, something that didn’t come into play until years after he began grooming Corrin as an instrument of his revenge. At least Takumi didn’t go off the deep end until after being possessed.

As for the chapter...ugh, I’m just so tired of this route. Mikoto’s ward actively discourages you from splitting up your forces to go after the absurd number of chests that line this map, and this late in the game there’s almost no reason not to just rush Gunter. Funny that’s he’s pretty underwhelming for an endgame boss - that’s a Jagen for you.

Chapter 27 + Endgame

A question I’ve never seen anyone else ask before: why is Anankos wearing a Buddha mask anyway? It’s apparently just a wall fixture in the castle that he’s hiding behind, and while I get that they wanted to conceal his true size and cosmic horror features for Endgame in the fashion of JRPG bosses with multiple phases the mask is entirely unexplained. Is it meant to be ironic that a dragon styling himself as a god is wearing the face of the major figure of a religion/philosophy with no deities?

I will say that the mechanics of the final battle match the concept of Revelation perfectly. You’re strongly encouraged to split up your forces into three groups to attack all of Anankos’s weak points quickly, which matches up well with the route’s theme of Corrin (and Azura) + Hoshido + Nohr. It’s also not one of those final bosses that’s easier than what came immediately before, so additional kudos for that. Also, Garon’s death on this route is mercifully swift, ripe for even more trauma for the Nohrian royals that no one’s got any time to dwell on.

Aside from those remarks...bleh. The story may conclude faster thanks to lacking the near-death sequences of Birthright and Conquest, but that pace just pushes forward to the very end with Corrin being crowned ruler of a kingdom with no people...except Hoshido and Nohr both cede territory to Valla so that they can have some citizens, because that’s reasonable and won’t cause any confusion or hard feelings. I even took the trouble to S rank Azura, believing incorrectly that it would in some way be reflected in the ending as the only instance of supports in Fates affecting the main plot. Nope, Azura still rejects the rule of Valla and passes it off to her husband as if nothing were different. Then everyone hugs and it’s a little bit gay and the series main theme plays and oh God I’m just glad this route is over. But hey, a chainsaw Fire Emblem is bizarrely badass if you’re into that kind of thing.

PS: Chapter 10 is still The Worst.

Next time: ending and final thoughts on Revelation

[lichlairs]

Checkout our new post over at http://lichlair.com/underrated-or-underpowered-purple-dragon-knight

Underrated or Underpowered: Purple Dragon Knight

Hello all and welcome back to our third installment in the Underrated or Underpowered series, where we take a look at different spells, subclasses, and abilities and determine if they’re woefully underrated or sadly underpowered! Today we will be taking a look at the Purple Dragon Knight, more generally known as the Banneret, that was released with the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide. Fifth edition’s spiritual successor to the ever loved Warlord in Fourth edition, we’ll take a look at all of its abilities and see how it stacks up to both its ancestors and other available subclasses in Fifth edition!

The Knight’s Code

Kicking off our subclass which we acquire at level 3 for the Fighter is the Rallying Cry ability. Whenever you use your Second Wind feature, you choose up to three target creatures within 60 feet and they regain hit points equal to your fighter level. Heals are always nice, and being able to top off allies behind you or on the front lines with you is always appreciated. However, since healing in Fifth edition is never the most useful option, it’s also kind of a useless ability. Many times when you use Second Wind, you’ll be the one taking most of the hits and if you are taking most of the hits… that means your allies are not. Likewise, if your allies are low, you’ll be more often than not be at full HP, making you less inclined to want to use your Second Wind. Perhaps the most useful application of this ability would be if you saved Second Wind to before a short rest and you use it to top yourself and three allies off to save a hit die or two… The final nail in the coffin is that the ally must be able to see or hear you, meaning if they’re incapacitated with 0 HP, tough luck buddy, better hope you’ve got someone with healing word in the party.

Royal Envoy at level 7 allows you to gain proficiency in the Persuasion skill. If you already have this proficiency, then you get to choose from Animal Handling, Insight, Intimidation, or Performance. Additionally, you gain expertise in Persuasion, doubling your proficiency bonus for all checks. Now, Persuasion is viewed as the king of face skills, being desired by Bards, Sorcerers, Paladins, Warlocks… well maybe not Warlocks. But you notice which class isn’t included? The Fighter. Often times Charisma, even more so than Intelligence, is going to be dumped for the Fighter. While the ability is extremely flavorful, it just doesn’t seem very useful, when Bards, whose main stat is charisma, are more than likely choosing Persuasion for their expertise at level 3 and even some Rogues at level 1. These classes excel out of combat, and gaining expertise and taking those social situations away from them can lead to a feeling of toe stepping and animosity at the table. However, if it’s established early in the game that you will be the party face, this ability helps you excel at that!

At level 10, we gain the Inspiring Surge ability! When you use your Action Surge ability, you can chose an ally within 60 feet of you. Using their reaction, that creature can make one melee or ranged attack, provided it can hear you. This ability really leans into the Warlord aspect of the class, allowing your Action Surge to deal a little extra hurt. Use this with the party rogue, and they’ll love you for letting them hit their sneak attack twice in a round. Sadly, this is where the fun ends. Only being able to do this once per short rest is kind of miserable. The ability is also only really useful if you are coupled with the aforementioned rogue, a paladin, perhaps even a ranger. Your spellcasters will sadly never see the light of this ability. We’ll talk about how bad it is later when we mention some other classes, but for now it’s just a disappointing 10th level ability, barely improving on an already spectacular feature.

Level 15 brings us Bulwark, which similarly to the rest of the PDK’s abilities enhances a core class feature, this one enhancing Indomitable. When you use your Indomitable ability, you can choose an ally within 60 feet of you that failed the same save and allow them to reroll its saving throw. Now, I’ve mentioned that being able to reroll saving throws is an amazing ability. Getting a second chance to escape those slow spells, take half damage from a fireball, or otherwise succeed is always welcome. However, being able to only extend this benefit once – and eventually twice – per long rest feels incredibly underwhelming for such a high level ability. You can’t use it if you succeed the saving throw, and it feels wasted if you’re the only one who fails the saving throw and you want to use this feature. All in all… it fits the class, giving underwhelming bonuses to spectacular class features

At level 18 you get… wait. Nothing?? You get NOTHING at level 18?? Oh, you can choose TWO allies with Inspiring Surge instead of just ONE. This just adds insult to injury to an already underwhelming subclass.

Knights of the Round Table

Now, I’ve had to restrain myself from comparing all of these abilities to their better counterparts, because each and every one of these has something that easily outclasses the ability, some of them even being found in other fighter subclasses. Let’s have a look.

Rallying Cry is immediately and obviously outclassed by Healing Word. Healing Word is available to the Bard, Cleric, and Druid. Chances are you’re going to have one of these classes in your party, and more often than not they will have Healing Word prepared. Healing Word doesn’t require the incapacitated ally to look up and acknowledge that you’re trying to bring them back from the brink of death. Healing Word is also a bonus action, just like Second Wind, so it doesn’t interfere with your normal action economy. It even has the same range!

Inspiring Surge is easily outclassed by the Battle Master’s Commander’s Strike. Instead of doing it once per short rest, you can do it up to FIVE TIMES per short rest with the Battle Master! Instead of being contingent on you deciding when to use your action surge, it only takes you a bonus action and one of your attacks from your attack action to proc the ally’s attack. With Guildmaster’s Guide to Ravnica, we also got the Order Cleric, which can do the same thing whenever they use a spell of 1st level or higher on an ally. Remember Healing Word? It’s a real good spell, and it’ll let you use this up to four times… by level 3! Just like the Battle Master! You don’t have to wait until level 10 to do it once per short rest.

Ahh, and Bulwark. You’ll mostly want to save your Indomitable feature for big saving throws, things like disintegrate, finger of death, a dragon’s breath weapon, etc. Chances are, if you’re using Indomitable on one of these abilities, you’re in a big boss fight. You know what Clerics do before big boss fights? They use Holy Aura, which they also get at level 15. This gives advantage on ALL saving throws, to ALL of your party members. Even aside from that, many classes have abilities of their own that allow them to succeed on saving throws. Bulwark just isn’t that useful sadly compared to the tools other classes can bring.

I don’t even have anything at level 18 to compare with. Samurais literally don’t die, Eldritch Knights can Fireball and swing a sword on the same turn, Champions regain HP, Battle Masters get d12 for their superiority dice, Cavaliers gain a million reactions, and Purple Dragon Knight gets nothing. How sad.

The Final Verdict

So I don’t know if it’s blatantly obvious by now, but I’m going to have to give the Purple Dragon Knight a big fat Underpowered. All of its abilities are outclassed by other classes, it doesn’t bring anything new or unique to the table, and it only buffs the core class abilities in a way that isn’t useful to the fighter. Can you make an interesting character with the Purple Dragon Knight? Absolutely. Can you also do the same with any other subclass? Aboslutely. It makes me so sad to see that the Warlord didn’t make it into Fifth edition, and it makes me even sadder that this is the closest thing we get to such an incredible class. Sorry for the negativity, this subclass makes me so sad because of what it could have been. Maybe we’ll write an article eventually about it.

As always, thank you so much for reading and I hope that you enjoyed the article. Feel free to discuss down below or in the newly built forums! Fancy! If you enjoyed the article feel free to give us a follow on our social medias, and I’ll make sure to keep updating with this series. I couldn’t do it without you guys, so thank you so much!

[cardinalfeng]

LoZ: BotW Review

I know I don’t really like post game reviews but I’ve loved Zelda for a really long time and I wanted to talk about this new installment because I just finished it.

Let it be said however: Spoiler Warning! I’m talking about all of the main quests and a small amount of the side quests.

So, Let’s start with the great plateau. I thought this area was ingenious. Not only did it get you right back into the feeling of Zelda, with locations like the Temple of Time, but I felt like it was really a mission statement for the game, and I loved it. I encountered the Stone Talus right after the Stasis trial, so I had the hammer, but it took a few tries to realize that the hammer was a better weapon than the swords I had. I thought the sense of mystery throughout the entire area was awesome, and the fact that there were somethings which were just as hard as areas in the rest of the game, like the decayed guardians near one of the shrines. And the fact that you re-encounter the old man at the Temple of Time was awesome, because you have 4 spirit orbs and so, before you know to look at the steeple, you just walk inside and see the goddess statue glowing.

I also liked the run from the Great Plateau up to Kakariko Village. On that trip I encountered moblins and lizalfos, which were the other two extremely common enemies in Hyrule, and the difficulty spike was present but manageable. That whole trip also introduced Hestu, and had one of the most amazing tonal shifts in the game. I went through the East Barracks at night, and it was an extremely hard and lonely area, especially when I had like 2 swords and a few arrows. However, upon leaving that area, you meet a friendly NPC, and then a stable, which leads to not only catching horses, but also changes from the loneliness to feeling like you have friends somewhere at least. 

In Kakariko Village, I feel like they capitalized really hard on the Sheikah. It’s where you learn about the memories, and Hyrule’s past, and the Sheikah’s past, and the Yiga. It was pretty intense in terms of the whole story line. But, it again helped me feel less lonely in Hyrule. And the side quests weren’t hard, but they were full of personality. 

The hike to Hateno Village was also interesting, because of the sheer number of dead guardians you see near Fort Hateno. However, the Hateno Village shrine was pretty terrible. The motion controls are pretty inaccurate and unfun, and I won by basically cheating. Though the goal is to show what the switch can do, I really felt that it was more tedium than fun. I felt the same way about bringing the ancient flame up to the Tech Lab. It was mostly just walking through the village. For comparison, I really enjoyed the Akkala one. However, the NPC’s in both Hateno and Kakariko were fantastic and full of personality, in a way that felt more like an older Zelda, like LTTP.

Meta-game I think was pretty interesting. Sure, it’s basically just Korok seeds, Shrines, Towers, and scavenging. However, the sheer number of things you can find really just filled up my time. And things like shrines and korok seeds are genius little ways to have tons of puzzles filled in the game. Such as the “Steady thy heart” shrine, which was a mini-dungeon, and on the way to finding it, I found like 2 korok seeds, and there’s a bit of combat involved too. And the towers were also their own puzzle-combat combination, which just felt very Zelda, even if it was such a new feature. However, the Gerudo Tower, for the Gerudo Highlands was a load of bullshit, and I had to look it up. It’s just an issue of placement. 

The Divine Beasts were a really cool idea, and I think that there were enough variations in the formula of get to a place, do a fetch quest, fight the divine beast, finish the dungeon, beat the boss. I really liked the Zora’s Domain one, because of the sheer factors involved. The Zora people hate you, you need a shit ton of shock arrows (you didn’t but I played ball), and you need to get inside Vah Ruta. I felt like that mission wasn’t just to get inside of Ruta, but really for Link’s sake, and that of Hyrule. It was multi-layered, and the fetch quest was mostly combat. And Ruta was an interesting gimmick, and I enjoyed the dungeon in its entirety. 

The Goron City quest was fun, and people often harsh on it for getting into Eldin and not being fireproof. However, on either stable next to Eldin you can get fireproof elixirs or fireproof lizards. Plus, Eldin is literally crawling in fireproof lizards. I thought that Rudania as a whole was really fun, but I wish that they’d stuck with the darkness inside Rudania that was there at the start. It might be annoying at first, but the puzzle possibility and interesting mechanics were too good to pass up. I think Arin Hanson is right, however, that the boss cutscenes shouldn’t happen when they do. Rather, when you’re about to fight the Divine Beast, to see it in all of it’s glory. Because I could decide for myself to fight the massive volcano lizard.

My least favorite quest was Vah Medoh. First, getting to Rito Village wasn’t hard. It’s not in a dangerously cold area, Tabantha tower is really close, and Medoh is right above it, so it’s impossible to miss. Second, the fetch quest was really close and not hard to get to, and the task to get Teba on your side was aggressively easy. You have 3 minutes and it took me 30 seconds. Then the battle against Medoh just felt like the same task as the flight range, but with bomb arrows, and one less target. With Teba taking fire, and with Teba as cold and flat of a character, there’s no collateral for Link. Even after you find out that he’s been hurt, I didn’t care because the game gave me no reason to. The Dungeon wasn’t hard, and it’s gimmick felt shockingly similar to Rudania. The boss was easy, and as long as I had arrows, didn’t even mean Link had to get within close range. Furthermore, Revali is annoying and condescending, and has few redeemable qualities until after the boss fight, making me wonder why I even freed that asshole.

I liked the Gerudo quest, but I wish that it didn’t have the rupee gate to get inside Gerudo Town, and it felt like 2 dungeons in one. The Yiga Hideout and Naboris were both a dungeon in their own right. Naboris’s gimmick was annoying at points, and the boss fight had too many phases, but it all felt original and interesting. (Note: I did the beasts in order of Ruta, Naboris, Medoh, Rudania). My biggest point about the game is that there should have been more dungeons. The Gerudo quests left me satisfied, while every other one felt too short. If there were 8 dungeons, plus Hyrule Castle, that might be enough dungeon.

In terms of animals and extra stuff in the game, there were really great things. I liked how Lurelin Village didn’t seem to be balanced on Link, and was just there in Faron. I liked the Triforce Springs, especially the quest to save Naydra, which was new, but fascinating. Tarrey town was super fetch quest filled to build, but another way to make the player really feel how they affect the world. The labyrinths were complicated but fun, as were many shrine quests. The memories got me acquainted with a combination of Hyrule, the modern day, and 100 years ago, and were an interesting way to have a player choose if they want exposition or not. The Master Sword was an interesting way to get the player progress on their own but still have greater goals. Hyrule Castle was really fun, but a little too disjointed to allow for exploration without risking total decimation from the guardians (and the North Gatehouse is such bullshit).

Finally, is the ending. I personally love all of the cutscenes and the boss fights. The first one felt like a greatest hits of the previous bosses, but was still fresh and interesting to see how the mechanics interacted. Dark Beast Ganon was a more classic Ganon fight, but made Zelda’s role both prominent and non-intrusive, and explained the weird malice eyes. All of the cutscenes afterwards were amazing and lead the way to a great set of post-game quests to fix up Hyrule. And then the game stayed the same as if I never beat Ganon. With all of the cutscenes, I would love to see typical NPC Zelda, and travel Hyrule with her, even fix up the castle, use the Guardians to make a game plan against Ganon in the future. Sure it makes Hyrule less dangerous, but it gives the player power in Hyrule’s future beyond Ganon, which is where every Zelda game stops defining Link, and where Botw could have strived to be better.

TL;DR: BotW is a fantastic game that fills the time with tons of activities, and the changes to the Zelda formula only make it more fun. However, the Dungeons were too few and far between, and the ending was particularly underwhelming given the sheer number of hints at post game were in the final cutscenes. But overall, an unforgettable Zelda experience, and the best in a long line of great games.

[intergalactic-nimrod]

Finished Breath of the Wild today (Spoiler Free)

First off, I’m not much of a gamer. Mum never let me get a console when I was a kid, so I never got to get into them. I always knew though that eventually when I would get a console it would be a Nintendo one. Nintendo is the root of video games as they are today, and their main line IP’s have always really resonated with me. So, I preordered a Switch launch day, fully aware it would have problems and a limited selection of launch games, but I wanted to support a game company that still sought to innovate with how people play games, rather than pushing an ultimately futile graphics barrier. There’s only so high of a resolution that the human eye can see, and no matter how realistic you try to make a game it simply will not hold up in time, whereas games with more artistic styles have much greater life spans.

My expectations for Breath of the Wild were sky high. Again, I’m not much of a gamer, especially because of my restrictive budget, but it just looked exciting and fun. I had watched playthroughs of the other Zelda games and loved the general world and culture of the series, and gained a huge appreciation of its history. I loved seeing Breath of the Wild trying to break away from conventions and both defy and redefine what a Zelda game could be. I thought it would make an excellent introduction for me into console gaming, and I just fell for the emotional tone of the trailers.

So here I am, having finished the game 13 days after its release, and I have to say, it was good, but it was NOT a 10/10 game. In fact it was great, it was ambitious, it was almost as perfect as I could’ve asked for it to be in a lot of parts, but this is not the end of the Zelda franchise, with no place for it to go from here.

I enjoyed my Zelda experience immensely. I found myself smiling and giggling throughout parts of it, and I find it hard to feel emotions these days through art and entertainment after being exposed to it my whole life. I felt pure and honest joy through most of it. The game play was always fun and clean, and there were few things I would change mechanically.

The flaws with the game come not out of its mechanics, but out of its philosophy, which paradoxically is also the thing that is so amazing about it. The world is open, it’s free, and you can easily get lost in it, but it’s a happy feeling of being lost. At the same time though, there is the story and general motion/pace to the game that flows nicely and can guide the player, or let them break away from it. The problem with this though, is that at times it can be too much... and I know this is where I may lose some, but after I had finished the story (exempting final boss), about 100 of the shrines, found all the memories, beat all the dungeons, and completed my map of Hyrule, I suddenly found myself bored. VERY bored.

The greatest experience of BotW is that Hyrule itself is a character. Each tower was a checkpoint, but also a step forward as it opened up more of the world to explore. When I first left the Great Plateau and went out into the world, it was wild, open freedom and discovery. As I went on, I would find shrines to serve as mini checkpoints, and that’s the brilliance of the game. You can get lost, but you only get lost exploring. As you open up the map, you see things you didn’t see before, and the shrines serve as stations to teleport you around and get you closer to interesting things. They help you fill out the spaces in the world, and whereas at first I was just a kid named Link, running about, I slowly found myself literally conquering Hyrule. I was going about, enthralled by the story, and mastering shrines, becoming stronger, and facing the wild. It’s an excellent formula: the confusion and wonder of stepping into the unknown, the curve and quest to survive and thrive, pulling the content and rising above its challenges, and then besting it, becoming its master as you teleport around, filling in the gaps of your understanding of the area.

But when all was said and done, I had conquered Hyrule, and suddenly there was nothing to do. The last shrines I missed were a drag to find tucked away amidst the huge map that I had already conquered at 97%, and that last 3% felt like it wouldn’t have been worth it without story to keep my trajectory going forward. There was one last thing really worth doing: Ganon, the biggest, baddest, overhanging quest and priority. I ended up looking up walkthroughs to find and get the last shrines, just because I wanted the final reward and to max myself out for the final challenge.

I thought about finding all the Koroks, but after my entire time playing the game I only found 171 out of NINE HUNDRED. Definitely not worth it. I tried maxing out my armors, but soon found that to be boring, as it was mostly just trying to tediously gather hard to get materials.

I had conquered Hyrule, gone over it a ton of times, and there just wasn’t enough tucked into every percent and square inch of the game to drive me to go beyond the story too much. In fact, that’s another criticism: I love the story for what’s there, but I wish there was more for such a larger game, OR I wish the game and world was smaller to balance out the actual scope of what the story does. It’s very simple, and though it is perfectly done for what is there, the world is too big and its spirit gets stretched thin.

Hyrule is enormous, and that becomes a problem when you start seeing the same towers and art styles and patterns everywhere. I started noticing how geometric a lot of the terrain was, and the imperfections of the world and graphics as I constantly went back over. The world, for as big and fun as it is begins to lose some of its face that it desperately needs its story for. Some things just look and feel too samey, like certain parts were just copy-pasted about. Eventually a lot of shrines were just combat trials to fill in the gaps and most Korok puzzles felt the same. I lost the drive to look around for secrets because I knew they were always going to be the same thing, whether it be a chest with rupees or some weapon I’ve seen a hundred times.

The only mechanical problem with the game was the now infamous glass weapons, which is a criticism I agree with- to a limited extent. I was constantly having new and powerful weapons being thrown at me as I went around, so having plentiful weapons helped to easily balance how quickly they broke, but the constant fear of a weapon I liked or was saving breaking or having to be tossed out of my limited inventory lingered over every battle, and I just wished they would have higher durability so I could experiment more and find a style or set of weapons that worked and made combat situations like a puzzle in themselves, with me having a versatile strategy which I could employ to fit the context of the battle. It makes the player become more skilled and trained with the combat system, but instead I found myself stocking up on high powered weapons and just wailing on enemies until they broke, just to bring out the next disposable weapon and continue the same. It didn’t completely not work, but it felt counter intuitive to the brilliant and challenging philosophy the game had set up about choice, but also choice with the limits of strategy and thinking. You COULD run into a battle stupidly and just go swinging wildly, but it would be more EFFECTIVE and BENEFICIAL to the player to go about things carefully and with thought. Unfortunately, the brittle weapons undermine this idea, and throw a spike into the squeaky clean design of the battle system.

My favorite thing about this game by far though, was its philosophy. In every piece of media, there is the concept and then the execution. Breath of the Wild is an excellent idea, with just a few missteps in execution that I’ve already mentioned that undermine its philosophy. However, don’t let that take away from how brilliant most of it is conceptually and doesn’t belittle the player. It perfectly understands what Zelda games were, what they should be, and did an extremely admiral job of nearly getting there. It’s a game that’s clearly designed and aware of what it wanted to be, unlike lots of other modern games. You could execute the most perfectly polished and well put together turd in history, but it’s still a turd. Breath of the Wild is quite the opposite, though its imperfections in execution are not nearly so horrible as could be eluded from such an absolute analogy.

The best thing that Breath of the Wild could have done is perfect its philosophy, and that much is very clear. The name of the title is The Legend of ZELDA. This is not a game about Link. Zelda is made the most complex and likeable character in this game, and your quest is to go out and remember her, to regain the past that was her, and restore her future. I wish Link were a little less stilted, as in a little more expressive (in cut scenes I mean), but the game clearly understands what Zelda was about in its first inception. Zelda is your ultimate quest, your ultimate goal. SHE is the legend and the core of the game, and so long as I was going after saving her, the game was amazing.

[Very mild spoilers from here on out, but nothing major at all. I’m still keeping things very vague] The final boss fight of the game was good, but almost underwhelming, and it made me wish Ganon had been somewhat of a character, rather than just a force. It would rhyme well with Zelda, as the calamity was the source of her pains and her need to fulfill her duty (and her inability to do so). Making Ganon an actual character again would’ve embodied this force into something more human and relateable, giving part of her struggles a face to identify with. The only face the calamity has is the threatening image of the corrupted Hyrule Castle, always in the distance, always looming. That in itself is very effective, but I still can’t help wishing for more story. Again, it was amazing for what was there, I just wish there was more.

I was also partly disappointed by the ending, partly because I wished it were still harder (and it would’ve been more satisfying if Ganon were a character/individual rather than just a beast), but also I wish the ending would do more than just... end. I’m probably flawed in that I do have a specific image of what I’d like the end of a Zelda game to be, but at that point I’m probably better of making a Zelda movie. For as much as the game redefined the Zelda series and took itself back to its roots while also moving forward, I wish the ending would’ve also moved their world forward. I’ve always hated the Zelda timeline, where every game is essentially a reboot or re imagining (often with some gimmick or circumstantial them). It would’ve been amazing to see a very satisfying ending where it breaks all final conventions, and takes the future of the franchise in a new direction as well. That wouldn’t have just been amazing, that would’ve been REVOLUTIONARY (for the series at least). It’s not all bad, in fact not bad at all, and in a sense it does fulfill my desire be leaving things off in an open way. It really felt like this was just the first installment of a new series, like there was more to come... and thus that brings me to a conclusion.

This is not the epitome of exactly what a Zelda game should be. It’s not PERFECT, and it’s not the Zelda game to end all Zelda games that I hoped it would be. Instead, BotW presents itself as something completely different: a new beginning. From here on out, I want Zelda to continue what this game has started, not just rebooting itself over and over, but expanding and fixing the flaws that lay in the small cracks of its perfect foundation. I think I ultimately found this game a little unsatisfying because the world began to look and feel the same throughout a lot of it. Also, it felt like too much of Hyrule was destroyed and disjointed. I’d like to see the next installment be a restored Hyrule, at its near full glory, but without erasing the ruins of the past. I want the history implied in BotW to still show, like destroyed town and places, but I want to see a more flourishing and characterized Hyrule rising out of its ashes.

The next installment could be made even better by doing just a few simple things. Ultimately, the world was made bigger than the game could comfortably sustain. It lost some of its streamlined nature and its fat began to spill out of its inappropriately fitting clothing (which it could’ve fixed by scaling up, and finding something to wear that was more flattering and appropriate to its larger form, though this is where I end this analogy), and by just making the game less of an open world, it could actually FEEL like more an open world, only one far more interesting. This game can’t afford to look generic like the environments of Minecraft, because in that game the player directly manipulates their world. Here, the players relationship with the world is just a little more restricted, and that’s fine and good and perfect, but that also means implementing more design, environment specific things, and unique areas of interest.

I don’t like numerical grading systems, but I highly recommend this game. It’s a real blast and worth picking up as soon as you can. Seriously, this is not one to miss. My consensus can be most closely comparable to an 8.5 or 9 out of 10 (closer to 8.5 though).

[theroguebadger]

Review: Final Fantasy XV

That’s it! I’ve come up with a new review! (No spoilers)

Following a game's development from the day of its initial announcement can be a difficult prospect. For many AAA games, that can mean two or three years of patience, with only a new trailer every few months to keep the fire of anticipation burning. In this sense, Final Fantasy XV is the most extreme of anomalies. It was first unveiled as Final Fantasy Versus XIII, a companion story with loose links to Final Fantasy XIII, at E3 in 2006, a whopping ten years before it would finally see the light of day. In the following years, updates and new information were so scarce that many feared that the game would never see release; even when it was officially rebranded as Final Fantasy XV at E3 2013, seven years after its first trailer aired, fans were subjected to a three-year wait before they could get their hands on it, though two demos and several trailers filled the gap. With a game like this, whose development history was so troubled and uncertain, it isn't enough to simply ask whether or not the finished product is a satisfactory one. Perhaps more importantly, we have to ask: was it worth the wait?

Final Fantasy XV picks and chooses aspects from earlier series instalments and takes them for itself, whilst occasionally throwing something new into the mix. Reminiscent of Final Fantasy III and X-2, your party is limited to a smaller group of people – four, in this case – all of which are present from the opening stages of the story. Noctis Lucis Caelum, prince of the kingdom of Lucis, departs the capital city of Insomnia in the opening scenes, accompanied by three close friends: Ignis, a sensible caretaker charged with keeping Noctis out of trouble; Gladiolus, a combat instructor responsible for training Noctis's combat skills; and Prompto, a close friend of the prince's from his school days, who brings a carefree enthusiasm and his photography skills to the team.

Together, they set off on a road trip to attend Noctis's own wedding to Lunafreya, princess of distant kingdom Tenebrae. It all quickly goes wrong, of course. Insomnia is invaded by an imperial army       moments after you leave; your father the king is assassinated, your fiancée disappears on a journey of her own and the kingdom's Crystal, a magical relic needed to keep the world safe, is pilfered by the empire. As with much of the story, this is all communicated in a very rushed, head-scratching sort of way. The impact of events is made underwhelming by how little time or focus is dedicated to them. The invasion of Insomnia is shown to be a battle on a catastrophic scale, but the seconds-long cutscene that reveals it hardly adds anything to the immensity of the event.

With their mission now changed – they need to find Lunafreya, bring down the empire and restore the Crystal to Lucis – Noctis and company's true journey begins. Here the first portion of Lucis's open world becomes available to you, with the other sections locked behind early story progression. When you're not travelling between story areas – your means of transport being the Regalia, on foot or, eventually, via chocobo – you can tackle some of FF15's innumerable hunting missions, help out troubled NPCs at the various outposts or gather useful materials. Food sources will provide you with ingredients to bolster Ignis's list of recipes, which when prepared at camp will give the party a time-limited boost to various stats. In many cases, the right meal can make all the difference in a tough fight, of which there are many outside of the mandatory story fights, and Ignis's own enthusiasm for the culinary arts makes the whole process quite charming to watch.

Alongside ingredients, you can also discover ore with which to customise your car, or sources of magic to craft spells for use in battle. Gone are the days of scrolling through your acquired spells to find the right one for the occasion. Final Fantasy XV has its own approach to magic, allowing you to mix and match your stock of each element to create stronger variants – the classic -aras and -agas – but the most crucial aspect is adding in items you've collected along your travels. These can do anything from increasing the uses of a particular spell (they're all finite and must be replenished) to adding extra effects such as healing Noctis or boosting the experience you earn from any battle in which they're cast. Fiddling around with different combinations is interesting enough at first, but after a while I couldn't help but wish they'd stuck with something more traditional. Having these usage-limited tools of devastation is a novel concept, but friendly fire means you're just as likely to set your team ablaze as you are to turn the tide of battle with a well-placed, triple-cast Firaga.

Combat puts you solely in control of Noctis, with your allies only controllable through the activation of their own specific skills. Whilst your teammates are limited to two weapons of specific types – Gladiolus uses greatswords and shields, for example – Noctis can wield anything and everything, including the Royal Arms of the Lucis line. His unique, princely abilities allow him to teleport around the battlefield, instantly warping to a distant enemy and landing a fearsome blow that only grows stronger the further he warps. In bigger, more chaotic battles, the combat truly shines; at times, it feels as if Noctis's friends only fight with him to better enable his showy fighting style, and it works. Incapacitating a group of enemies with well-timed warp-strikes before following up with a combo attack – Gladiolus is capable of massive damage, whereas Ignis provides support and Prompto destabilises and hinders the enemy – is never unsatisfying.

The combat system only begins to exhibit major faults when you face off against certain screen-filling enemies, so large in size and scale that the camera doesn't know what to do or where to look. The hit-detection on these enemies is similarly inconsistent, meaning what you intended to be a critical blow with a warp-strike actually results in you sliding along the enemy's bulk before clipping through them and becoming lodged inside. These encounters are limited, however, and for the most part the fast-paced battles continue to be one of Final Fantasy XV's triumphs. It's a system where simplicity proves to be the a viable approach, though fans of Final Fantasy's turn-based roots might yearn for something more traditional. Summoning, a recurring feature of Final Fantasy combat, has also been overhauled – don't expect a designated summoner class in this game. The small but familiar selection of summons are a real spectacle to behold, towering high above the battlefield as they unleash a devastating ability. With their acquisition tied to story progression, however, there's no satisfaction or challenge in acquiring them, and their specific summon requirements – they're more likely to appear based on factors such as allies being knocked out or Noctis entering the danger state – make them awkward and fiddly at times, resulting in a mountain-sized, god-like creature appearing to end a battle against low-level enemies, or at the very end of a lengthy boss battle where their intervention would have been better appreciated early on.

Where Final Fantasy XV truly struggles is in telling its story. Its more recent predecessors had particular narrative issues – FF13's reliance on handing the player files to read in order to properly learn about the world, for instance – but never before have I felt that a Final Fantasy game's story is in dire need of fixing – until now. The problems start early and rarely abate, with one of FF15's rare, albeit beautiful, CGI cutscenes showing the king's death in mere seconds. The actual invasion of Insomnia, home to all four party members, is detailed mostly via radio transmissions heard by the group. After a little bit of moping, Noctis seemingly forgets his father has died at all; he doesn't move on from grieving so much as that particular plot thread is abandoned entirely. Later, another brief cutscene introduces you to the main group of antagonists, some of whom are never actually seen again. Whilst the open-world does a good enough job of showing the player a living, breathing Lucis, full of settlements big and small, their people engaging in conversations about anything from everyday minutia to whichever crisis is ongoing at that point in the game, the empire receives barely any development at all. Knowing your enemy is a major part of becoming invested in the experience, but I found myself unable to care about what little I knew of Noctis's foes.

By the end of the game, the imperial presence in FF15's world of Eos meant little more to me than the aircraft that would so routinely interrupt my travels to drop a group of Magitek Soldiers on my team. If you engage in optional activities to even the smallest extent, these altercations will be your main source of interaction with the antagonistic empire; what few officers and leaders they have disappear permanently not long after being introduced to you, and not necessarily because they were defeated. It's a baffling inadequacy in a game that took a decade to make. Final Fantasy has for years been a name synonymous with rich world-building and compelling stories, but Final Fantasy XV's decade-long development has produced an incoherent, muddled narrative that fails to match the scope and depth the developers no doubt intended for their world. Whilst the plot and its delivery do bring down the overall experience, there is a great deal of good to balance out the bad.

In some ways, Final Fantasy XV is both endearing and spectacular. Someone on the development team clearly understood how great an impact the little things can have, and it's in subtlety and nuance that FF15 is at its most charming. Although driving the Regalia is almost entirely an on-rails affair, it's made more enjoyable by the group's humourous exchanges and, best of all, the ability to listen to the soundtracks of previous Final Fantasy instalments, which can be purchased from vendors across Lucis. The track listings aren't complete, but there's something undeniably nostalgic about listening to FF10's Blitz Off or Blinded by Light from FF13, not to mention classic tracks from the series' earliest instalments. When you're done for the day and settle down at a camp or inn, you'll get to see the photographs Prompto has taken that day, and you can save any you like. Some are fairly typical – locations you've visited, people you've met – but the rest have real potential to amuse or delight. Alongside pictures of the group posing together by a landmark, I had photos of the four of them mid-battle with fearsome daemons – powerful enemies that only appear at night – or trekking across Lucis with a town visible in the distance and the sun just right in the sky beyond. Having Noctis and company settle down at night with a meal to pore over Prompto's handiwork always succeeds in strengthening your connection to them and the bond they so clearly share; it's just a shame that the rest of the cast wasn't treated so lovingly. From helpful mechanic Cindy, with her inexplicable accent and ridiculous attire, to fearsome warrior Aranea, anyone who isn't a part of Team Noctis will receive little in the way of character development, if they get anything at all. It's another jarring disappointment from a series that has in the past so consistently created compelling and likeable supporting casts.

It's often people like those who will be issuing your quests, but outside of a few generic lines of dialogue you'll learn almost nothing about them, and lesser NPCs are recycled with a consistency that would be impressive were it not so tedious. One man, a hunter named Dave of all things, pops up in settlements across Lucis, tasking the group with going to a nearby location and retrieving the dog tags of a fallen hunter. His dialogue rarely differs each time – “Fancy meeting you here. Mind collecting some dog tags for me?” – but he somehow has more of a presence than many of the game's more prominent characters. Rather than taking a copy-paste approach to side quests to the extent that they're almost MMO-esque in depth and variety, more time could have been taken to show us more of what we need and want to know. For all of the occasional chatter about her, Lunafreya has shockingly little to do in the game, which is worrying indeed given that as the Oracle she acts as a liaison between humans and the gods. By the end of the game, I could only find three aspects to her character: she and Noctis were in a long-distance relationship, she could communicate with the gods and she opposed the empire. Beyond that, there's little to learn. With so many excellent leading ladies to draw from in the series' history, it's a shame that Lunafreya contributes so little. Outside of Noctis's group, characters seem to exist only to push the heroes in a certain direction, lacking a real purpose or personality of their own.

That's the prevailing problem with Final Fantasy XV: it feels aimless. Winning battles and accomplishing certain feats awards you with experience points and AP with which to power up your party members, but it hardly feels rewarding. Most enemy encounters can be won with minimal effort, making the huge number of side missions and hunts feel completely unnecessary. The story will drag you from place to place on the whims of one person or another, but when the credits rolled I found myself with more questions than answers, and not for lack of paying attention. It's easy to get lost in the experience, to allow yourself to wander the wilds of Eos, undertaking hunts to eliminate powerful enemies before you seclude yourself at a nearby fishing spot, but the facade crumbles when you go anywhere near a main story mission. Final Fantasy has been erratic in quality post-FFX, but never before have the problems been so glaring, so detrimental to the overall experience. With ten years of development time, no matter how troubled those early years might have been, it shouldn't have been like this.

7/10