#I also haven't listened to the musical like. at all but I know a few parts and YEAH i would have TOTALLY been cast as Karen in a jr version

[casiavium]

I don't like the mean girls musical because it's a worse version of Heathers but also. I wish it was a thing when I was in highschool because as the person who was always typecasted as the dumb one I would have KILLED IT as Karen

[love-that-we-were-in]

lighting the fuse might result in a bang

pairing: frat!luke castellan x reader summary: Silena thinks you need to start blowing off some steam. You think you just need a fresh victory and Luke Castellan is the perfect opponent. word count: 5.3k warnings: smoking, drinking, usual college party stuff.

author's note: brought to you by my personal deep dark history with boys in hats. also i haven't gotten drunk in like 4/5 years so i don't remember what it's like so this was interesting. also i don't know anything about frats OR smoking. have the most fun <3

When Silena mentions a party you could go to, you jump at the offer, brain fuzzing at the edges where you’ve been locked in on flashcards all afternoon. It’s something you’ve started to navigate better this year, remembering to have fun after a year of non-stop focus. Silena makes it easier - a social butterfly with no qualms about dragging you out of the library when she thinks you’re pushing yourself too hard - and there’s no harm in listening to her without protest sometimes. 

“Do you even know who’s throwing this one?” You ask as she’s leading you through campus, rubbing at your arms to fight the fall chill. “I do not want a repeat of March.” 

“Have some faith in me. I’ve started vetting my sources.” 

Both of you shiver, the memory of a night spent outside the Stolls’ cramped dorm still haunting you six months later. You’re not overly familiar with this side of campus, turning away from the usual halls and towards the sorority housing, but Silena walks the path with ease, arm looped through yours.

The walk seems to have cleared your head, the music as you approach shaking off the last of the static. You’ve been here before, borrowing notes from a teammate, but it’s different like this, all pumping bass and cheers from the kitchen. Clarisse waves at you from across the room, beer in hand, and you mutter to Silena that you’re going to grab a drink. She nods, making a beeline for Drew Tanaka. You assume that’s who the invitation came from originally.

There’s a different energy to the kitchen, not quieter by any means but less noisy. Less concentrated, maybe, with twenty different conversations happening at once and nothing you have to pay attention to. Most people you don’t recognise, a group from your first year stats class huddled together near the sink, and the Stolls off to the side pointing at every new person they see. 

Mixing your drink is an easy fix, the kitchen island covered in more choices than you’ve seen in a while, and you savor the first few sips. Between class and swimming, you’ve barely drank since the semester began and the burn of vodka isn’t as numbed as you wish it was. Still, a drink is a drink so you refill it before returning to the thick of the party. 

Clarisse takes it upon herself to drag you away from the conversation you end up trapped in with Lee Fletcher, quite literally taking hold of your elbow. You mutter an apology, however disingenuous, rolling your eyes in mock exasperation as he smiles grimly. 

“I have no idea how you talk to that lot,” she says when you’re far enough away. “They’re all boring.” 

“Lee’s great. He always lends me notes from the lectures I miss.”

She laughs, pushing you into another room. “He’s trying to swindle a date out of you and you’re using him for lecture notes.” 

You shrug. There’s nothing wrong with Lee, except that Clarisse is a little right when she says most of your classmates are boring. It’s probably not intentional, and they definitely don’t realize it, but there’s this way they carry themselves around campus - half-nervous and half-haughty. It’s not a great combination and it’s why you gravitate towards the people Silena meets. 

“We were wondering when we were going to see you next,” Chris says as he throws an arm over Clarisse’s shoulder. You still don’t quite know the story there, how Chris Rodriguez managed to sweet talk your stoic teammate. One day, you’ll find out - a drunken vow you made with Silena on your dorm room floor when Clarisse mentioned a boyfriend - but you’re content to let them enjoy their romance in peace for now. “Almost thought you’d succumbed to the dark side.”

“You’re not getting rid of me yet.”

“And thank god,” he knocks his cup against yours before gesturing to the far corner of the room. “Because we need someone to kick Castellan’s ass at beer pong.” 

“Whose?”

Turns out, Luke Castellan is the newest brother to ksig. There’s not much to know about Chris’ fraternity in your eyes, just the basics of all frats, and you know from last year that there’s always bound to be a hotshot that needs someone to pump the brakes on their ego. Usually, they’re on the younger side, with more money than sense and they don’t expect anything from your approach. Luke Castellan isn’t quite that, but he’s not far from it either.

While Chris talks to the boy who was about to play, you take the opportunity to size up your opponent. It comes naturally, a part of constantly competing, and it comes in handy in moments like this, when the element of surprise is a key factor to the situation going ahead. 

Fitted jeans, branded polo and a stupid snapback cap worn backwards to show how cool he is. Nothing you haven’t seen before, really, except there’s this focused glint in his eyes with each plastic ball he throws like he has to prove his worth here. It’s a simple practice, unnecessary for a silly party game, but there’s this serious set to strong shoulders that you’re curious about.

The same way you want to know about Clarisse’s relationship, you want to know what makes Luke Castellan, whoever he is, tick. 

“Are you trying to get alcohol poisoning, Rodriguez?” 

“I’m not playing you, Luke,” Chris says and you watch closely as the other boy tilts his head slightly to the left. “I just had to go and get the current undefeated champion on campus.”

There’s this moment that happens every time you play - those awkward seconds where everyone looks completely past you to anyone else, anyone more noticeable. You count on it, occasionally, so it takes you a moment to process the way Luke’s gaze slides to you, drinks you in before he nods towards the other end of the table. 

Chris mutters a quiet “you got this,” as you brush past him, handing him your drink. You’re not delusional enough to think you can get away with mixing your drinks this early in the game. 

It takes two of Luke’s shots for you to land your first, his last hour of playing an advantage you accounted for. He’s not getting sloppy, not in the slightest, but he’s at the point where he’s a little worse for wear - a tired arm and hazy mind - and you take the chance you have at a false sense of security, taking your losses on the chin before playing the game to win. 

Within seven shots between you, you can see Luke start to get restless. How he reevaluates the table in front of him, his three empty cups to your four. Part of you really wants to knock that hat off his head, as if it’ll give you more of an insight into his mind. Instead, you wait for what you know is coming, a slight miscalculation that has the plastic ball rolling off the table to land at someone’s feet. 

Chris hands you a fresh one and you take in the way Luke swallows, jaw clenching as you line up your next shot. Whether he knows it or not, you’ve just been handed your win.

Clarisse cheers, handing you one of the cups from in front of you as everyone yells. You both chug what’s left of them, the bitter taste of cheap beer drowned out by victory, and as soon as that’s done, she throws herself back into Chris’ arms. Laughing, you turn around to find another drink, only to be met by Luke standing beside you.

“Are you about to be a sore loser?” 

He chuckles and it’s different like this. His eyes are brown, which you didn’t know five minutes ago, and his hair is dark from the little wisps of it you can see peeking out underneath his hat. You consider telling him that the hat makes him look lame, but then he’s leaning down to whisper anyway. “I expect a rematch.” 

It’s quiet and heavy and you wonder if anyone can tell that your blood feels like it’s on fire. It’s nothing, really, and it takes more effort than you want to respond. 

“Then expect to lose.”

The only saving grace to the exchange is that Luke looks a whole lot more affected by it, a blush crawling up his neck as you take the drink nearest to you and leave to find your roommate once more. 

*

Losing never used to get to you. Not like this, at least, where everything sort of feels like a precipice and you’re waiting for the next loss to fall on your shoulders alone. It was meant to be an easy game, a warm-up, for when the season started in earnest and you couldn’t afford to be incohesive. There’s always a learning curve, new starters and new competition, but in no world should it have caused this. 

Silena tells you to let it go, throwing yet another outfit on her bed as she gets ready. When you saw her at lunch, Clarisse told you to just push harder during practice. Sometimes you’re not even sure how you can be friends with both of them, how they can be friends with each other either. Unfortunately, it becomes very clear when Clarisse knocks on the door that night. 

“Why aren’t you ready?” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

She tuts at you, digging through the pile of clothing on Silena’s bed before throwing a dress at you. “Get dressed.” 

“You can’t make me,” you protest, the black fabric scrunching in your fist. You’ve borrowed it before, for a party last year you don’t remember very well, and you don’t even want to consider why it’s the one Clarisse selected. You turn to your roommate, looking for backup, only to find her with a pair of your shoes in her hands. “Are you seriously going to make me?” 

In unison, they raise a singular eyebrow each and it’s unsettling enough that you let go of all will to fight them. Today may as well just be full of losses that you can mourn tomorrow.

It’s only when you arrive at the party that you realize you have no idea who’s throwing it. Or who’s going to be there. Distantly, you really hope it’s a stranger Silena met on her way around campus - full of people you’ve ever met and will never see again. You could find someone nice enough to blow off some steam with before going on your merry way. 

When Clarisse yells at her boyfriend, you let out a huff as both he and Luke Castellan turn around. 

Since your first meeting, you’ve learned a few more things about Luke. He’s from Connecticut. He was responsible for half of Drew’s sorority coming down with the flu during freshers week. He’s in pre-med. He’s the reason Professor Chase introduced a ban on energy drinks in his lectures (one hundred students simultaneously opening a can of Redbull each was, apparently, mildly disconcerting). Most importantly, he’s always wearing that stupid cap. 

You try to equate the things you know with the Luke standing in front of you. Some of it makes perfect sense - Professor Chase and Connecticut - and some of it unsettles you, but it’s all true. Freshers and pre-med and track meets. Focusing on the distracted way he taps on his beer bottle instead of Clarisse greeting Chris, you kind of want to find out a whole lot more. 

“Fancy a rematch?” 

It’s the first thing he’s said to you all night, twisting the cap off a fresh beer before handing it to you. Then doing the same with his own. You pretend not to notice the movement of it, the few short seconds where you can get away with staring at the shine of silver rings in low light. Taking a sip, you crinkle your nose. 

“I’m not really in the mood,” you mutter and, at the very least, the beer is cold and you chug half of it before you even notice you’ve done it. “Don’t you have someone else you can bother?” 

There’s seconds before you notice it, how his eyes shift from slightly curious to intense. They don’t change much but standing in front of him, you can tell when they go from relaxed to focused. How his back straightens and shoulders roll back just so. You should go and find something stronger to drink. Maybe even see if Lee Fletcher is nearby.

You stay put.

“It’s just a bit of friendly competition,” Luke shrugs, unknowing of how it echoes in your skull. How that’s all today was ever meant to be. Leave it to him to dig the knife in again just as the tightness in your chest was starting to ease. “But I guess you just can’t handle it.” 

“I’d kick your ass in a rematch. I’m doing you a favor.” 

It’s obviously the wrong thing to say, Luke’s eyes brightening as the words push past your lips. The beer you drank way too fast is forming words before you even know what they are.

“You can always choose something else for me to beat you in,” he says, like it’s an offer, something gracious that you should be grateful for. “I’m easy.” 

“How many beers have you had?” 

“Three, I think?” 

Silena would tell you it’s a stupid idea - you have a coaching session at 9am and you haven’t gotten drunk since the party where you met Luke - and she would be right. But you need a win tonight, something guaranteed, and there’s this itch that crawls under your skin the longer you stare at the boy in front of you. 

So you say it anyway. 

“I bet I could outdrink you.” 

“I’d like to see you try.”

He waits as you down two more beers in quick succession, nursing his own as you do. A clink of your bottles against one another, followed by the final sip you each take and it’s finally a competition. 

The night continues, you and Luke almost joined at the hip. It’s to keep track, you tell yourself, talking to a kid that might be in your organic chem class. If the kid looks at you weird for pouring two drinks, only to hand one to Luke in silence, that’s probably just the alcohol misreading things. Only once, when you’re deep in conversation with Lee does Luke pass you a beer, eyebrow raised when Lee gives him a glare. You think that might’ve been drink eight. 

By the time Chris finds you both again, you’ve thrown yourselves onto the couch on the outskirts of the room. Someone’s abandoned coat is thrown over your legs in a mediocre attempt to preserve some dignity in the dress you’re wearing and Luke’s hat has twisted to the side. You’re sure neither of you has drunk a sip in ten minutes.

“You guys doing okay?” 

“We’re drunk,” you say and you can’t tell if it’s a whisper or a shout. “I’m winning.” 

“You’re not winning,” Luke turns his head to glare and you blame the alcohol on the attention you pay to the slope of his nose. “Neither of us have finished these drinks.” 

“Are you going to?” 

He glances down at the cup in his hand, half empty. You can see it, the hesitation, before he places it on the floor by his feet, shaking his head. “Are you?” 

The nice thing to do would be to give up, call it a draw and appreciate that you managed to have fun despite the bad day that had preceded it. However, you like to win. So you grit your teeth before drinking the final three sips, tilting the empty cup towards him so he can see the proof. It takes you a second to remember you have to actually swallow in order to drink, but you do and Luke scrunches his nose. You kind of want to kiss it as a way to smooth the skin back out.

“That’s two wins to me, Castellan.” 

Chris shakes his head at you both. “I’m not calling either of you to make sure you’re alive in the morning.” 

*

It’s an almost unconscious action when you walk into Drew’s sorority house, how you wave Silena off in favor of scanning the crowd, searching for the one reason you agreed to show up in the first place. It takes a moment, pinks and blues and silvers all merging together in your eyeline until you spot him near the staircase, familiar black cap resting on his head. 

You’re already a little buzzed, the thrill of your final project this semester finally being handed in just hours ago, and it’s why you let yourself actually look at Luke for once. 

By this point, you’ve seen him in a polo and a flannel, always with jeans. Laidback. That’s what party Luke was. Tonight, though, it’s like he’s trying harder - baggy pants, like they’re resting a little too low on his hips, a white t-shirt, white trainers that you know are going to stain before the night ends and a slightly oversized leather jacket that doesn’t quite go with the hat you used to identify him. Maybe it’s something he does on purpose, ruining a good thing over comforting familiarity. Maybe you’ll ask him.

Luke looks up then, as if he has a sixth sense, and you kind of don’t know what to do with the slight wave he sends in your direction. You wouldn’t call him a friend, that’s for sure, but you nod in response before weaving through your classmates to the kitchen.

It takes two vodka cranberries for Silena to find you. And it takes four shots with people you’ve never met for Chris to ask if you’ve seen Luke anywhere. You tell him where you last saw him, maybe an hour ago, and he shakes his head like he’s already checked the entire house.

“Do you think you can let him know I’m heading out?” Chris asks, one arm looped around Clarisse’s waist, more for support than anything else. She was already unsteady when you arrived and you know by the flush in her cheeks that it’ll only take a couple more drinks for her to start throwing up. You nod at Chris, cradling your drink to your chest, and he mumbles a thanks while steering his girlfriend towards the door.

With both of them gone, it leaves you with little to do except go hunting for Luke. So that’s what you do, waving Lee off as he attempts to grab your attention from the couch. 

Focusing is a lot harder now, squinting over everyone’s heads in search of that damn hat. Nothing. You know he’s not in the kitchen, that’s definite, and you learn that he’s not in the garden either, Katie from your anatomy class staring at you bewildered as you explain your quest. 

There’s only one place left to check for Luke and you consider if it’ll be a worthwhile risk. It’s entirely possible that he’s already left, whoever he was locked in conversation with earlier with him maybe, and you’re searching an entire sorority house on the off-chance he’s still in the building. 

But you promised Chris. More than that, you refuse to let Luke Castellan beat you.

So you commit to the staircase, pushing past the line for the restroom upstairs. It’s quieter up here, not by much, but you can hear yourself think clearer. There’s three doors on your left, all closed, and you drain the remnants of your drink so it warms your blood and erases the small part of your brain still protesting. 

There’s two yells when you knock on the first door, both hurried and pitching higher as the words fade so you move on quickly. No one answers to the second door, so you crack it open enough to see inside. It’s dark and neat and completely untouched by whatever is happening below, so you let it click shut again. 

Luke is in the third room, you learn, pressing it open when there’s no response to your knock. The room itself is still orderly, but you find the boy you’ve been searching for sitting on the floor at the base of the bed, hat turned to the side and the sleeves of his jacket bunching carelessly where they’ve been pushed higher on his forearms. 

“Chris wanted me to tell you he took Clarisse home,” you blurt when it feels like you need to say something. “He couldn’t find you so…”

Luke waits. When it becomes clear that’s all you’re here for, he says, “Well, thanks for letting me know.” 

You’ve done your job. You can go back and enjoy the party downstairs, maybe make use of the empty room next door instead of remaining awkwardly in the doorway. 

You think about how Chris mentioned that Luke can recite pi to seventeen places while drunk. How you’re still beating him by two points. How there’s an ashtray on the floor beside Luke’s knee and it’s sort of considerate of him to use one when no one else would.

“Mind if I join you?” 

Being in an empty bedroom with a guy at a party isn’t unusual. You’ve had your fair share of them, rushed and quiet and mostly on a bed. Sitting on the floor with Luke is different, you find, a gravity to it than you can’t quite wrap your head around after so many drinks. It’s slow and languid and you don’t really say much of anything as your knee bumps against his thigh in an effort to get comfortable in the space.

No one told you Luke smokes. 

You tell him as much.

“It’s a bad habit,” he shakes his head, twisting a cigarette between his fingers and you both act like you’re not paying rapt attention to it. “I try to avoid making it one.” 

“I used to. Back in high school. Gave it up when I got accepted here.” 

He turns to face you then, head tilted so the visor of his slanted hat brushes his shoulder. “I would never have guessed you were a smoker.” 

It’s not said with judgment, just as an observation from the limited interactions you’ve had since the semester began. The focus in Luke’s gaze crawls up your spine and mingles with the alcohol you’ve yet to flush from your system. 

“You ever blown a smoke ring?” 

If you’re not challenging him, you don’t quite know what to make of Luke. It’s the thing you know most about him, the way his face shifts from victory into loss. The way it matches yours, stretches from his eyes to his jaw and into clenched hands. If you’re not challenging him, you can’t read him - you want to be able to read him in the low light of right now. 

“I bet I’m better at it than you,” you say after he answers. A short laugh escapes him, almost a huff, and it raises the skin on your arms when it meets the top of your ear. “Wanna see?” 

“I’ve only got one.” He waves the cigarette he’s been holding in front of your eyes. 

“We can share.” 

It’s a bad, terrible, absolutely stupid idea. 

“You’re on, Castellan.” 

As he lights the end of it, you wonder if he knows what the brief flame does for his cheekbones, for his jawline. Paints them in small, defined shadows that you might still see if you close your eyes. You almost want to mention it to him. You settle for watching his lips settle around it, the sinking of his cheeks on the inhale and the noise as he exhales. There’s an almost complete ring of smoke in the air.

Luke hands you the cigarette and you repeat his motions, a little quicker. A little smoother. The ring that leaves your lips is full, but less circular. 

Both of you pretend not to notice the other one staring.

You agree to best of three. You agree and you win by the tiniest margin and you hand Luke the little that remains as a consolation prize. He indulges in the last few drags and you watch him do it, looking nothing like the pre-med student you know he is. You think he could be dangerous like this, based on the way your stomach twists as he puts the cigarette out, how his head tilts back and the final wisps of smoke escape his mouth.

You aren’t as drunk anymore. 

You really wish you were.

It takes Luke a second to notice that you’ve moved at all, eyes still closed but he does, and the run of his gaze across your face is enough for you to seize the last of the alcohol in your bloodstream, pushing forward so you’re actually face to face with him, knees digging into the rough carpet beneath you. 

“Can I help you?” It’s low and a little ragged and this is the first time you’ve really noticed the thin, pale scar that stretches down the skin of his right cheek. It’s actually a little insane how pretty he is up close. 

“I think I want a little more than the glory of winning this time,” and half of your whisper is lost to Luke Castellan’s lips but it’s not that important anyway.

What is important is the warmth of his hand through your shirt, pressed into the skin that exposes itself as you shift even closer. It’s the slightly rough texture of his jaw underneath your palm, the way his breath hitches in tandem with yours and you both push through it anyway. It’s the unexpected catch of your finger on his cap and the way you give up on it entirely, finally snatching it off his head so it lands somewhere nearby. 

You’re not sure what you expected Luke’s hair to look like. Horrible, probably, with odd patches that lie weirdly flat and should be covered from view. It’s not this, wild dark curls that deserve to be seen. 

“You have curly hair?” You say it before you can think not to, so caught up in the discovery you’ve just made, and Luke squints at you, unsure. “I can’t believe you have curly hair.” 

He’s preparing a smart-ass comment, you know it by the way his teeth dig into his bottom lip, and that’s really just not going to work this time - not when he’s been lying for months behind a hat. So you do what any sane person would, twist your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and trail your lips across his jaw like you’ll die if you don’t.

His hand hooks underneath your thigh and, when you bracket his waist between your legs, cool leather brushing against your knees, you think this might be the best victory you’ve experienced yet.

*

Silena knows something is up when you refuse to speak to her about the party. There’s few secrets you’ve kept from each other since meeting, and even less since Clarisse got involved. It’s pointless to try, mostly, since they all spill out of you when the lights go out and you’re left with each other's company. You almost forgot how annoying she could be when she’s pushing for information.

“Don’t think I’m going to tell you either,” you say when Clarisse joins you in the library a week after the party. “I am a fortress of secrets.” 

“I know you hooked up with Luke.” 

“Seriously?” 

She rolls her eyes, passing you the book you’d asked her for during practice last night. “Calm down. Chris told me. I’m down ten bucks now.” 

“You bet on it?”

“Of course we did, it’s our brand.” 

“I’m not telling Silena,” you whisper again, frowning at your notes. You wonder if Clarisse is aware you haven’t actually spoken to Luke since that night. “She’ll make it a big deal for nothing.” 

“I won’t tell but you should probably figure out what happens next. There’s a party at ksig tomorrow night before everyone goes home for the holidays.” You tap your pen against the textbook. Clarisse pushes a slip of paper towards you. Someone’s phone buzzes to your left. “Think about it.”

When she’s long gone, you grab the paper she left from the table. It’s wrinkled and you smooth it as best you can beneath your fingertips. Blue ink, messily scrawled, and you commit it to memory. Closing your textbook, you leave it pressed between chapters seven and eight. 

The party is loud, louder than you’re prepared for after flaking out on so many since your first one last year. Silena brushes past you once you arrive, shoving your shoulder just enough that it twinges and you frown. You didn’t speak a word on the way here and the silent treatment is starting to drive a little crazy. 

It feels silly now, in a place so crowded, and you breathe deeply. Someone points you in the direction of the kitchen after multiple attempts at asking and you miss the light chaos of throwing up outside the Stolls’ dorm with your best friend. 

You grab a beer, using the table edge to pop the cap off, and it helps to ease the tightness in your chest at how unfamiliar this all is. You’re not sure you could even find the restroom, let alone a singular person.

Pushing back into the bulk of the party, you vow to leave if you don’t find him before you finish your beer. There’s a project you have to start looking into for next semester that could be a good use of time tonight. 

If anyone tried to convince you that most of campus was here, you’d be willing to believe them. A drink raised in Lee’s direction, a nod to Ethan from last years’ stats class, a half-hearted smile at Rachel, who raises an eyebrow at you like she knows something no one else does. 

And maybe she does, because you turn away from her to find Luke just feet away, gesturing animatedly to the guy next to him. There’s a beer in his hand and a hat on his head and his phone number so deeply etched in your mind since last night that you hardly think about it until you’re standing next to him again, drink placed on a table somewhere along the way.

“Hi,” he smiles and his scar shifts with it. He turns to the guy from before. “We’ll catch up later, man.”

“Have I ever told you that I hate that fucking hat?” 

“I sort of got that when you threw it across the room.” His lips wrap around the rim of his bottle and you think you can be normal about it, go back to the way things were, until he smirks just slightly and you know you can’t. 

“You’re such a sore loser, Castellan,” you mutter as you push yourself up to snatch it from his head. He doesn’t comment, lets your fingers brush through his curls until they’re a complete mess instead of compacted. He glances down at the cap in your hand and mutters, “And what is your genius plan for my hat?”

It’s a really fucking good question. Short of getting it off his head, you didn’t know what you were going to do. It’s one thing to throw it across an empty room in the dark, another thing entirely to abandon it to a frat party. So you choose the next best thing - placing it on your own head and daring him to question it. 

“I guess that can work,” Luke says and it sounds like a promise soaked in laughter. 

Neither of you find it as funny when he has to tip the visor upwards to kiss you.

[rafescurtainbangz]

Frat Rafe Headcanons +18 Minor DNI

Ask: @babygorewhore Baby I need more frat rafe headcannons please feed me mommy

Sorry this took me so long, babe. Thank you so much for your ask Also, if you haven't, please read @xxbimbobunnyxx frat carwash blurb you should because it’s so cute. Those carwash videos make me blush for reallll. And I swear I'll be dropping some pervfrat!rafe part 2 soonish

Also I dropped fic yesterday and didn't tag people 😭 here

unedited

Pet names, unprotected p in v, mentions of oral sex, public sex, choking, jealousy, ownership kink, perv Rafe, recording sex, possessive, mentions of fighting, degradation

Meeting Him…

Frat Rafe - Who first noticed you from across the lecture hall. Luckily for him, you were sitting next to a pledge who quickly switched seats the second Rafe gave him a hard look. He didn't say a whole lot at first, chuckling to himself as he watched a little blush creep across the apples of your cheeks when he spread his thighs slightly brushing his knee against yours.

Frat Rafe - Who couldn't take his eyes off of you through the soapy glass at the Fraternity Car Wash. You shamelessly recorded the show, giggling and smiling as he and his brothers washed cars between slow grinds and finger-drawn hearts. A very wet Rafe Cameron somehow made it through the car window, his tall frame barely fitting inside the cab as he continued to work for your cash. He danced to the music blaring through the speakers, smiling cheekily as you tucked a few extra dollars in his short red trunks.

Frat Rafe - Who waved you down before you could pull out of the lot, jogging up to your freshly cleaned car, asking you to come out to the bar that night.

Frat Rafe - Who sent three back-to-back text messages before you could pull away, the third making your mouth fall open. You looked through the window, watching Rafe chuckle and smirk, pretty proud of himself at the reaction that he got from you and the smile you couldn't take off your lips.

Frat Rafe - Who you fucked after the first date. You couldn't stop thinking about him after the carwash, his tanned, toned skin glistening in the sun. It was unclear just how many times you watched that fucking video, but it was a lot. You couldn't wait to get your hands on him. Rafe Cameron lived up to every one of the rumors. The sex was amazing, the best you ever had, rough and slow, fast when you needed it. His long thick cock filled you deliciously. It seemed like he was always one step ahead of you; like he knew what you wanted before you even asked. His beautiful blue eyes were always on you, hazed with sex. His soft lips and tongue pleased you again and again ‘til you were a babbling mess.

Dating Frat!Rafe…

Frat Rafe - Who’s affectionate and gentle with you. Only you get to see that side of him, Rafe, reserving all his sweetness for you.

Frat Rafe - Who loves to wrap his strong arm around your neck in doggy, tugging you as close as possible, ‘til you're begging him to let you cum.

Frat Rafe - Who went absolutely crazy the first time you called him daddy. The petname quickly became his favorite.

Frat Rafe - Who loves to brag about you to his frat brothers, especially when he's drunk. The blonde, quick to remind them how much better you are than the girls they are hitting on to the point where it's downright rude. You’ll scold his tipsy ass, and he’ll sass you as he continues to dog his friend until you have no choice but to smash your lips against his and steal the words off his lips.

Frat Rafe - Who sent you this message just a few days after you started talking:

Little did you know how much it was on his mind. He hated that you weren't official. A much as Rafe wanted you to belong to him, he wanted to belong to you.

Frat Rafe - Who asked you out that night ‘cause he couldn't wait any longer.

Frat Rafe - Who loves sneaking away with you at parties. Sure, he loves showing you off, but his favorite thing to do is chill in his truck, listening to music while the two of you share a joint and talk.

Frat Rafe - Who would rather spend every night at your place than the frat house because he can actually relax. Some nights you go to sleep alone and wake up with Rafe’s strong body hugging you from behind after he let himself in with the key you had cut just for him. He couldn't sleep and needed you.

Frat Rafe - Who lives in weathered fraternity t-shirts and snapbacks if he's not rocking a crisp polo. At any function, Rafe’s hat usually ends up on your head, one way or another, left on from time to time when you suck him off or ride his cock.

Frat Rafe - Who doesn't trust any of his frat brothers around you but Top. If you’re coming over to hang out he's meeting you out at your car to walk you in. If you're at a party his hand is in yours, resting on your back, draped over your shoulder, or wrapped around your waist. He loves the contact just as much as he loves keeping you safe.

Frat Rafe - Who texts you cute/horny shit when he's drunk and you're away.

He often questions how he got so lucky or why are you dating me again? Rafe knows you love him, he just loves hearing it. His frat brothers also know when you're gone for the weekend because Rafe turns into an absolute dick, bitching about everything until you're back.

Frat Rafe - Who doesn't care if people can hear the two of you having sex in fact he loves it. Rafe coaches you through each orgasm, trying hard to get you screaming for him.

"C'mon, princess... Let these boys hear how good daddy’s givin’ it to you."

"Shh... Baby, I'd hate for all these guys to hear what a filthy fuckin’ slut you are f’me."

“Bet he didn't think I was fuckin’ you right. What do you think he thinkin’ now huh?”

He also loves watching you walk back into the party all flushed and wobbly knowing that he was the reason you were weak in the knees. Rafe loves to mark you with love bites, and hand prints, dark hickies on your cleavage that peek out of your low-cut dress, pairing beautifully with the sparkly little R pendant around your neck.

Frat Rafe - Who dedicates every Wednesday night for date night and will never let a frat meeting or function interfere.

Frat Rafe - Who’s a surprisingly good dancer. He’ll only dance at the bar if he's wasted, but when he does, your ass is pressed up against him with his strong hands clutching your hips. It doesn't take long until you’re dress is bunched up around your waist, panties pushed to the side, with Rafe’s pants in a puddle around his ankles as he fills you up in the dingy bar bathroom. On the other hand, if you’re at the frat house, it only takes a song or two until your bent over the bathroom sink or pressed up against the hallway wall.

Frat Rafe - Who couldn't wait for Spring Break. Each drunken day was spent at the beach with his frat brothers and your friends - each night, a different bar. But Rafe made sure you still had some moments alone whether it be to take you shopping, share a beer, or watch the sunset.

Frat Rafe - Who got rid of his dirt bike and bought a motorcycle instead. Of course, making sure he bought a helmet for you so he could bring you to class or for a cruise around campus.

Frat Rafe - Who fell in love with you all over again when you made him a beer poster with yourself as the model. You had no idea how much he loved it until you showed up to the next frat party and saw it framed on the wall.

Frat Rafe - Who’s gotten in trouble with the law a few times for fighting. Rafe, no stranger to a fight on account of you when someone tries to start shit or gets handsy. He never ends up making it to jail, usually talking or paying his way out of it.

Frat Rafe - Who knows your class schedule like the back of his hand. Whenever he's at the library he’ll text you and ask if you need a study break which is code for stuffing you full of his cock in study room D.

Frat Rafe - Who jealously gets the better of him, and when he pisses you off, all it takes is a flirty smile and a wave at one of his frat brothers or a hockey player to set him off. The rest of the night consists of rough, possessive sex, and punishment which somehow turns into sweet, slow passionate sex where's he's mumbling I love you’s and I’m sorry’s between deep strokes and kisses.

Frat Rafe - Who loves it when you wear his clothes, especially his oversized frat t-shirts paired with your cute little panties.

Frat Rafe - Who sends you gym selfies because he knows how crazy they make you, especially post-workout shots.

Frat Rafe - Who couldn't keep his hands or eyes off you at the frat formal. It was hard not to think about the future when you looked so pretty in your white sparkly dress.

Frat Rafe - Who’s fiercely loyal. You never need to worry about other girls around him, but the sight of it still makes you jealous. Rafe is quick to assure you you're all he wants and needs.

Frat Rafe - Who has a thing for your panties. The lacey and prettier the better; wrapped around the shift of his truck, looped over the hand of his bedroom door, the rung of his bedpost, anywhere and everywhere. He loves to wrap them around the base of his cock when you ride him or knot them around your wrists when he ties you to his headboard. But his eyes roll back in his skull when you stuff them in his mouth because he loves how you taste.

Frat!Rafe - Who loves recording the two of you having sex and frequently snaps pictures of you just ‘cause.

Frat!Rafe - Who won't just send you dick pics when you ask, but videos with the sounds on, usually moaning your name until he’s spilling onto his hand, using the pictures or videos the two of you took as porn.

Frat!Rafe - Who had to change his lock screen when you took him home for the holidays because it was a picture of you in his favorite lingerie.

Frat!Rafe - Who has pictures of you everywhere and he doesn't care who sees because don’t you wish you had a girl like mine.

Masterlist

Pictures and texts from Pinterest

Tags: @voyeurmunson @romaescapes @gri959 @redhead1180 @h34rtsformilli @joannamuns9n @waywardsoul113 @marahgubler @akashababy @dckweed @humanvampire13 @drewstarkeyslut @juniebugg @wearemadeofstardust0 @imbabycowboy @rafesgiirl @obxbabies @cutielando @rafedrewandjjs @rafesthroatbaby @999ares9996 @oxpogues4lifexo @dilfswife @Dilfswife @chiaraanatra @ietss @drewswifeeee @theoraekenslover @niyahnotnia

[whoreforellieandabby]

Lego date

Loser ellie x loser r?

A/n: I haven't been posting bc my mental health has gone down the drain but i finally got the energy to write this little idea

You were in your apartment piecing together a new Lego set you had just bought. It was a big project, and you knew you wanted to have a night to dedicate to it. So while your friends are off partying on a friday night, you're indoors with your record player on and Lego on the table. Dina had tried to get you to go out with them, but this was too exciting to wait any longer for. But then you hear a knock on your door. You let out a frustrated sigh. You weren't expecting a package or anything, and you texted Dina and Jesse that you for sure were not going. You open the door, expecting Dina to see her best friend and your crush, Ellie. You froze a little, not expecting to see her. You weren't super close with her, only exchanging a few sentences between each other when you were with her.

"Hi Ellie...what are you doing here?" You said.

She took in your figure. You were wearing some pajama shorts and a tank top. Ellies face went red as she spoke.

"Dina wanted me to check on you." She said.

You looked down and quickly cross your arms in front of your chest.

"Why?" You asked.

"Normally, you don't pass on free weed"

You looked back at your table.

"Yeah... I'm just busy tonight."

"You don't look busy." She stated.

You sighed.

"I'm building a lego set."

Ellie immediately got excited. You two finally had a shared interest other than weed.

"Really?" She excitedly asked.

"Yeah," you saw that her reaction was good, and she wasn't going to tease you for it. "You wanna see it?"

She quickly nodded, and you let her in the house.

You showed her the lego set on the table.

"Whoa this one's cool I don't have this one!"

"I didn't know you built legos." You said

"Yeah, well, Dina and Jesse, don't build legos, and since I met you through them and you're like Dina, I expected you not to also"

"No I like them a lot" you said.

Ellie has never been in your apartment, so she looked around the room and saw a bunch of nerdy stuff she was into.

"You never talk about all of this stuff" she said.

You shrugged.

"Dina and Jesse aren't into it, so I don't really bring it up"

"This is awesome," Ellie said while looking into your eyes.

"Do you... want to stay here and help me build this? I know you're supposed to be out at a party with Dina and Jesse..."

Ellie immediately jumped at the chance to spend time with you. She has always wanted to but was to much of a pussy to ask.

"Yes, I'd like that" she said almost a little to enthusiastic.

"Ok" you nod.

You both spend the evening building the set, listening to music, and talking. The chemistry flowed between you both. But soon enough you were both tired and Ellie needed to get back to her place because she had plans with Joel the next day.

"Will you...go out with me?" She finally got the courage to ask. Her face turned bright red and she messed with her hands.

"I'd love to Ellie."

Ellie felt her body relax and she gave you a smile.

"Ok, I'll text you the details"

You walked her to the front door and opened it up letting her walk out your door into the chilly night until you made a quick impulsive decision.

"Ellie!"

She turned around and you gently grabbed her face and softly kissed her. You quickly pulled back from her freaking out and quickly went to close the door.

"Text me!" You yelled to her before closing the door.

Ellie quickly sprinted to her car and immediately pulled out her phone to text Dina about finally asking you out and the kiss.

[whorekneecentral]

How about Max Verstappen enemies to lovers/“forbidden” partners sexual tension, With the prompts “a little flirting never hurt anybody” and/or “come on now let’s have some fun” :)

banger - I also made it wolff!reader :) // prompts: “a little flirting never hurt anybody” + “come on now let’s have some fun”

You and Max were always pestering each other.

Being the same age and somewhat friends, you saw eye to eye on everything but formula one teams. Max being a driver for RedBull and you being the daughter of the team principal for Mercedes, it was doomed from the start.

Everyone had ended up in Abu Dhabi for the last race of the season, and Lewis had convinced you to join him at the club as Seb had invited him alone. Since Sebastian was retiring, everyone's sort of gave into him and did what he asked over the last few weeks. So when Sebastian says everyone is going to the club, everybody's going to the club.

You had quite a few drinks, now leaning on the seat in Seb's booth as you listening to the blaring music. Lewis disappeared a while ago, telling you that he'd be back but you were certain you'd be hitching a ride from with someone else.

Someone's hand rests on your hip from behind and you turn to see who it was, you were met with none other than Max Verstappen.

"What do you want?" You asked, more like slurred. He shook his head at your words, smiling as he held you steady. "Don't be rude, y/n."

"I'm not rude, you're annoying."

Max laughed. "I haven't even said anything to you yet."

"But you will, you'll try to flirt with me." You jutted a finger in his chest.

"A little flirting never hurt anybody.” Max whispers in your ear, a shiver trickles down your spine and you step away from him, shaking off the feeling - You were not going to allow yourself to feel something for him.

You scoffed, walking off to get another drink. Max follows you, caging you in between his arms and the bar as you waited to order. "Live a little, babe. Come on now let’s have some fun," he whispers in your ear.

Your body betrays you, melting into his touch as his hand meets your hip. You find yourself leaning back into him, the smell of his cologne making your head spin. Max smiles at you - frankly it was a shit eating grin when you turn to face him.

Max's hand is in yours, before you know it, you're following max through the packed club to the closest empty room.

You kissed the man the moment the door shuts, there’s some shuffling until you settle on his lap and he's sitting up on the bench in the room but never did you two let go of each other. 

You're now straddling him, thighs squished on either side of him and your arms over his shoulders. His hand slides down from your hip to your ass, giving it a little squeeze. 

It spiralled from there, as it does most times. Max had you wrapped around his finger and you both knew that. 

Hands all over each other, clothes being tugged and pulled on. You’re both impatient, wanting more than you can get too at the moment.

Max scoots you back on his lap, undoing his pants as you unbutton his shirt, the baby blue fabric pushed over his broad shoulders only to get stuck behind him between himself and the wall. Your dress pulled up over your hips, panties pulled to the side as you sink down onto his cock. 

His hand on your hip guiding you, letting you bounce on his lap, his name falling from your lips.

He bucks his hips and your nails drop down from his shoulders to the scratches along his back. He lets out a groan, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

Your hand tangles in his hair, pulling his head back so you can kiss him.

“So good,” you mumble against his cheek, rocking your hips back and forth. 

His hands squeeze at your hips, fingers digging in hard enough to leave behind fingerprints.

“Mmm there,” you breathe, chest pressed to his. His lips find your shoulder, he bites down softly when he feels you clench around him. 

“Gonna cum for me, sweetheart?” He whispers into your shoulder, peppering kisses over where he had just bitten. Humming, your arms are wrapped around him. 

It was few more minutes before you and Max separated, the man letting you up off of his lap as you both fixed your clothes and stepped out of the room. You two ended up back at the bar, doing a round of shots before officially separating for a night - you won't lie, you did steal a few glances at him.

Lewis grabs your arm before you walk into him, pulling your focus to him. "Where have you been? I was looking for you."

"Sorry," you smiled, "I was in the bathroom, you know how girls are - chatty."

[ccraccz]

HELLOOOO I AM BACK AGAIN, May I request for Heartsteel! (all of em again) x fem! reader how would they treat you on your first date/where would yall be in your first date? (pls do include Alune too if you may!) thank you so much!

Our first date

Characters: Aphelios, Ezreal, Sett, Kayn, K'sante, Yone, Alune x fem!reader

Aphelios

Aphelios is such a gamer boy

He'd probably take you to one of those claw machines shops

You know the ones that just have a bunch of functional claw machines, and you get to try your luck at them

He'd be a total god at them it's unbelievable

He'd get you anything that you lay eyes on for more than 2 seconds

That Badtzmaru plush? It's yours in 7 seconds

That figurine of your favorite character? He's getting it right now

And if you get him anything? He will melt

Aphelios will cherish what you got him more than anything (other than you or alune)

During the date, he'll speak to you softly and, if you want, he'll teach you his ways on the claw machine

He'll stand behind you while you play and would not mind any affection given to him out of excitement

He tries to get you something in secret, and if he succeeds, he would be smiling so hard under his mask

You both exit the claw machine place with your arms filled with prizes, most for you and some for himself

Then he takes you out to eat something, anything

Though he does love his takeout 🙃

When he takes you home, be sure to show him your gratitude by kissing him on the cheek after placing your stuff on your living room

He'll be thinking about what to do for the next date 💙💙

Ezreal

For a first date, he'd probably take you out to karaoke

He'd be able to show off what he likes to do and see your taste in music

And by that, he'll definitely be able to determine things about you

To get you comfortable, he'll sing to you a few times and encourage you to sing either with him or alone

If you sing a duet with him, he'll be very pleased and choose some type love song like "can't help falling in love" or something lol

and if you get the courage to sing a song for him, he'd totally encourage you and sing praises

He'd get shivers down his spine while you sing and if you mess up he wouldn't even laugh

He would just smile at you sweetly and listen as you sing

He's so mesmerized by you that he doesn't notice that you finished the song until you poke him on the cheek

After a while, both of you get tired of singing, throats stomachs hurting from singing and laughing

When he drives you back home, and after some ice cream, he walks you up to your door and opens his arms while asking for a goodbye hug💚💚

He'ssosweetandcuteijustwannakisshimtotomorrowiwishhewadrealoml

Sett

Sett would probably have a mall date with you 🙃

He wants to fet to know you in a more relaxed setting where it's just you and him

He'll get to know your style and what you usually look forward to while shopping

BTW, he learned all this because he asked his mom about it

Anyways, he'd also get to show off his arms and strength by carrying the bags!

Win win situating right?

He'd definitely want to get the photobooth pictures with you and keep them in his wallet

He's so cute oml

If you recommend something to him, like a sleeveless jacket, protein powder/shakes, or pins?

He's getting them and putting them on his person instantly

Especially if it's a plush! He's adding that to the collection that you haven't seen yet

Other than that, he'd be able to ask you questions while walking, and when you get hungry, you both would just go to the food court and get what you guys want!

He's so gentle with you, following you to every store like a pup, a smile on his face as you show him a dress you like or shoes you think would look good with his fit

He's looking at you with the most live striken eyes as you go on about your week and more

if you ask him any question, he'll answer very truthfully

And when he drives you home, he helps bring the bags up to the front door before attempting to leave with a wave and a smile

But you pull him back for a hug and a kiss on the cheek

When he gets inside his car, his face is as pink, and his hair and his ears perked up higher than anyone's used to seeing💜

Kayn

You don't know what you're getting into

Kayn is scared

Before meeting up with you, he had to tall Rhaast some basic rules like, don't be disrespectful and some other ones that he need to keep in mind

Even though Kayn is quite wild, he didn't want to scare you on the first date

So he met up with you at your place on foot and you both went on the bus to the nearest paintball/airsoft park

He showed you the basics of the games, you watched and admired him intently, and played some yourself

You guys didn't go against each other as he spectayed while you played and you spectator while he played

At first, he was slightly romantic, helping you with putting on gear and protection so you wouldn't get hurt

But when the adrenaline started getting to the both of you, he started to get a bit roudy

But you know it's because of the adrenaline

He treats you with utmost care and affection

If you're nervous about the first game, he'll comfort you, though it's kinda difficult because he's not used to it

He makes sure you're not too hurt, and if you get a mark due to a bb

After a few hours, you guys walked to the closest convenience store, and he called one of his friends to pick him and you up in a few minutes

He bought you a few snacks and some drinks to cool off and walked towards a nearby park to sit around and talk to you

When the ride came and you arrived home, you held his hand and sqeezed it lightly before leaving the car with a soft smile

You, sadly, didn't see him cover his face with his hands after you shut the door and walked inside

Yone definitely saw that 🤭

K'sante

K'sante would 100% have a first date at a pottery painting place!!!

He'd suggest painting something for you and you painting something for him!

He designed a Ramen bowl for you while asking about your favorite things, like color, character, music genre, and clothing style

You also asked him some questions, but your creative piece didn't come out as well because you were so distracted with how gentle he was with the details of your bowl and how handsome he was

The plate you were designing looked,,, not as good, and you felt he definitely deserved a better plate

So you kept silent and concentrated

Some questions here and there are to get to know each other better, but most of the time is used on painting.

So, in the end, it was a silent date with him

Very comforting and soft

After you both finished your pieces for each other and washed your hands, you both went out to eat out together!

Two days later, K'sante appeared at your front door with a ramen bowl that was your favorite color with your favorite shape.

The plate you made is something he uses when you're around to make you feel proud of yourself!!

Before he leaves you with your new favorite bowl, you grab him by the hand and pull slightly before hugging him 🧡

Aigh I love himsosomuch its unfair

Yone

He'd totally, 100%, bring you to an all-out dinner.

He'd call beforehand, asking you to wear the fanciest dress you have because later that day, you're both going to a fancy restaurant

Just the two of you

No gang. No annoyance. Nothing

He had told the group that he had something very important to do and does not want any problems

And in the first minute with you in the restaurant, he was called by Sett

He turned off his phone after that call and apologized sincerely

At the start, he was mesmerized with your looks, so when you asked a question, he had to double take on what you said

(The fancy restaurant was a sushi restaurant, I hope you like that)

He answered your questions and you answered his

And when your orders came, it was quite silent

His looks, his hands, his hair!!! He was just so handsome

You couldn't help but stop eating to just,,,

Stare at him for a minute or so

And as if feeling your eyes on him, he looked up to see you looking at him with hearts in your eyes

After your meal, he drives you home and walks you to your door

He was shaky and nervous as you looked at him

And like any cringey romance movie, you kissed his cheek and left a red/pink/gloss mark on it before entering your home and saying thank you and good night

He had to take a minute to himself

He walked back to his car and turned on his phone

Taking a picture of himself with your lips marked on his cheek, he texted you good night and the picture before being spammed by both you and the boys

He put the picture you took of both you and him in front of the restaurant as his background

Now he's gonna be stressed out because of the gang

Let's hope everything goes alright

He'll be thinking about you all night before rubbing off the mark of your lips, guiltily ❤️

He's so freaking pretty

Alune

(WAAA THERE REALLY ISNT ANY GIFS FOR ALUNE AND IM SOBBING ILHSM)

Alune would definitely invite you to her place and have a movie date with you

Both you and her would do your nails and play games before watching movies or series

She had to tell her twing that she was inviting you over and wants some privacy

So he went to hang out with the boys for the day while his sister has her special day

Before anything, she buys some snacks and asks you to bring anything you'd like, plushies, clothes, blankets, anything!!

She does your nails, you do her nails

She does your hair (with some struggle since aphelios is the one that does hair best), you do her hair

She turns every light off and on the couch, you both cuddle and ask questions to each other before watching the movie or series

After that, if there is time, you both play games! Whether board or online, you both enjoy your time

Her voice is very alluring, so every word she says, it takes all of your attention to her

Before you leave her place, she tells you to call her so she knows that you're safe

She knows how people are and wishes nothing bad to happen upon you

GAUSH SHE SO PRTTY I LOVE HER SMMM!!!!

---------------------------

Note!

AAAAH IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😭😭😭 I LOVE THIS REQUEST, IT WAS SO SO CUTE!!!

I will say one thing, idk much about kayn, so I really have to do some research on his character. I'm also feeling a bit better, but tomorrow there won't be an update because I have a really long essay I have to write, and I'm very nervous about it 😭😭

Anyways, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST ITS SO SO CUTE!!! 💙💙💙💙

[matan4il]

Ahead of Eurovision 2024

I was listening to Eden Golan's song, Hurricane.

At first, it didn't seem to me like it stands out. I'm one of the people who prefers my Eurovision song less on the power ballad side of things, so this being in that genre...

But then I found myself haunted by the lyrics. By specific lines. Singing them to myself quietly, over and over again. I had to listen to the song again.

And it got to me, it really did, I haven't stopped listening to or singing it since, so I guess I needed to share a bit.

There's more than one hint that this is a song about mourning and survival. Lines like, "someone stole the moon tonight, took my light" can be interpreted in more than one way. But they become less ambiguous when combined with ones like, "holding on in this mysterious ride," when the mysterious ride we're all on is life itself. It makes it clearer that this isn't just a break up song. Then it becomes even more explicit with, "we shall pass, but love will never die."

The imagery in the videoclip is also telling, that ending when Eden is looking up, much like many do when talking to or thinking about a loved one that we have lost.

But the line that gets to me the most, the first one that took over my brain? "I'm still broken from this hurricane."

We all get what this song is about, in the wake of what happened here in October 2023, and since. And I am broken. So many Jews and Israelis are. As one survivor said (his words have haunted me first, then I heard them echoed in this song): "We are broken, but strong." That's exactly what the song is about, deeply feeling the pain and the tragedy, the loss, this impossible to accept grief, and still trying to find a way to live with it, to survive not just the horrors of a massacre, but the trauma that follows it as well.

The other line that affects me the most is directly related to this, "baby, promise me you'll hold me again." Because I have spent the last 5 months watching the news, seeing the funerals, and hearing people breaking down, as they say a variation of this to their loved ones, who are gone. Asking for a promise that can't be made, or fulfilled, and knowing that it can't, even as the request is being uttered. I hear their voices breaking around their words, whenever I listen to or sing this line.

The videoclip is also infused with imagery that's related to the massacre of over 360 people at the Nova music festival (and the kidnapping of 40 more from that scene), which is in a way very apt for music lovers. The images show dancers in what looks a lot like a nature party, just like Nova, and since the massacre happened when the music festival was meant to reach its peak, a long night of music and dancing climaxing around sunrise, that's exactly what we see, a move from the "moon light" throughout most of the videoclip, to the "sunrise" at the end.

But in the case of this "sunrise," Eden can smile, she can find comfort, she can sing a few words in Hebrew that reflect hope, about that little light that's left even when the moon's been stolen.

She's bringing the song to a beautiful, emotional closure.

Obviously, it can't be ignored that this is a re-write. The original song (which was called October Rain) was disqualified as "political."

You can read the original lyrics here. They're almost identical. I heard an interview with the song writers, who said they weren't even told what got their song disqualified, so they had to guess what the Eurovision Broadcasting Union had in mind, when they called an expression of our pain, and our strength at the face of that, "political."

I admit, I find it very hard to accept this disqualification. It's not like there isn't precendent for countries at the Eurovision expressing pain (including the kind originating from political circumstances) through their songs.

If you take the wildly popular Ukraine 2007 entry, the singer was quite obviously singing "Russia goodbye," with allusions to Russian interference in Ukrainian elections while wearing outfits reminiscent of Soviet uniforms. And that wasn't called political, because "Russia goodbye" was changed into gibberish that still sounds like it (and in recent performances, it was blatantly sang like that).

If you take the much talked about Croatia 2023 entry, it was about the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 2022, and also criticized Belarus' tyrant kissing Russia's tyrant's ass, by referencing the tractor that Lukashenko bought for Putin, while the band members played with military weapons and uniforms on stage. And that wasn't disqualified for being political.

If you take the Ukraine 2016 entry, that was explicitly singing about their pain over what the Russians did to the Tatar population in Crimea in 1944, with clear allusions to what Russians did when they invaded Ukraine's Crimean peninsula in 2014. And that wasn't called "political" either.

Even this year, we have the entry from The Netherlands being political, with both the lyrics and videoclip referencing the borderless Europe (which IS a political issue, as Brexit, if nothing else, had made clear). I've seen people pointing out online that the song isn't political, because the whole borderless Europe thing is a metaphor for the singer's grief for his father/parents. I have no problem with that reading, but let's acknowledge that there could have been many metaphors for that, and he chose a political one.

So why is Jewish pain treated differently? Why is our pain labeled "political," when the metaphors for it in the songs aren't that, there are no specific political mentions of people or organizations in the song (unlike the Georgia 2009 entry, which slipped Putin's name into the song's title) in either version, when there are no political statements being made in the song, there's just expressing our pain, and trying to find a way to cope with it?

This WAS the biggest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust, and expecting Jews not to write about it, not to sing about it, not to try to process it through art... Our pain is not political. It's human. When Ukraine won in 2022 with a song that wasn't originally political, but became one, as it was adopted by Ukrainians suffering from a war that they did not choose, but had to fight, singing it wherever they were displaced (I remember the winners, Kalush Orchestra, coming to Israel to sing it for and with Ukrainian refugees who found shelter here), I thought it was quite obvious, even for people who don't like politics at Eurovision, why the song won, and why everyone overlooked the fact that it was only partly based on its qualities as a Eurovision song. I don't expect Israel to win, I very much expect that, even as Israelis embrace this song about our pain during a war, that we didn't choose, but have to fight, and while hundreds of thousands of us are still displaced, we will get a lot of hatred, instead of understanding and sympathy. But I still have to speak up. I still have to point out that treating Israeli or Jewish pain differently is wrong.

(as a footnote, I wanna get ahead of the usual, "Why is Israel allowed to participate in Eurovision to begin with? It's not in Europe!" comments, while I haven't come across the same ritual for certain other Eurovision participants, like North African Morocco, just-as-Asian-as-Israel Lebanon, transcontinental {despite some of these countries only being considered European culturally, while geographically speaking, they're fully Asian} Georgia, Russia, Cyprus, Turkey, Azerbaijan and Armenia, and the one that's a continent all on its own, Australia. They all have the right to participate, because they all belong to the European Broadcasting Union. Just like Israel)

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Thinking about Succubus!Reader who appears in Ghost's room a few hours before dawn 🫦

You always get summoned to the loneliest individuals among mortal men, and never meet the same male twice (otherwise they would know it wasn't, in fact, simply a wet dream)

But this male is not like the others…

He's wearing a mask in his sleep, and the skull reminds you of the familiar horrors you sometimes see on your plane. He is both scary and inviting, truly a sight for sore eyes, strong and burly, sleeps naked, like lonely men almost always do. He's already hard, and stirring in his sleep – it doesn't matter that he's fully awake because he will think it's only another dream when he wakes up.

This man doesn't say anything as you climb on top of him, only welcomes you by grabbing your hips with hard, demanding hands. He adores you openly with his stare as if you're some rare treat that dropped in his lap and he's not going to ruin his luck by asking questions.

His cock is broad and blunt, just like the rest of him. Due to your powers you can feel his loneliness and pain, the depth of hollow sorrow inside him. He's like a dried well, waiting for a summer rain that never comes.

But when you take him inside and start to ride him, you can feel something else: a wave of hope, even a flicker of mirth. It's like a drop of warm milk in a pool of a dark, murky pond.

You know you have the power to bring brief moments of happiness to these mortals through copulation. You're a dream, a fantasy, a connection deeper than years of any dedicated bond, but the emotion inside this man swells to such painful heights that it causes you to cry out in pleasure and pain.

He grips you harder as you ride him through the waves of ecstasy, the strong hips under you buck up as he tries to get deeper inside the sanctuary only you can provide. You're used to taking men, riding them until they beg under you, but this time, you have to take support of his broad chest.

This man in a skull mask takes you – and you succumb to his lead like a supple young demon, watching how the plates of his chest tense with exertion under your palms. The dark eyes hold you captive like he's the demon here.

He gifts his seed with a deep, anguished roar; it erupts from under the skull and sends ripples across your scalp, and even if you don't possess the gift of reading minds, you can almost hear this mortal's thoughts: fucking hell you feel good, so tight and wet around him, soft and bloody sweet there on top if him, giving him the night of his life…

He holds you after as you lie on top of his strong body, limp and soft and purring. His pain is diluted now, the warm milk spreads inside the pond, and you feel the thick, calloused pads of his fingers caress your spine and neck. You breathe in sync like you've always belonged together, here, just like this.

Dawn is upon you, and the laws of this world and yours demand that you go back. You never tell the males that you're about to leave: it would be useless to listen to their pleas. But this time, you feel the desperate need to explain yourself, or at least say something and not just vanish like it was all just a dream.

"I have to go," you whisper in his language – you haven't talked in ages and are surprised at how smooth your voice sounds; like warm, soothing music.

His grip on you tightens, and you feel a fleeting sadness and despair, far deeper than any words can convey.

"Stay for a bit," he asks; his voice is deep, gravelly, almost like a soft command. You know without tapping into his emotions that you're the first being this man has ever asked to stay.

He's already torn between dream and waking, senses that you're far more real than he originally thought. It's dangerous – you've never, ever stayed this long. No one has ever held you like this after copulating.

You reach to brush your fingertips over the skull, tracing the bone and wishing you could touch his real face. It's also a spell that slowly sends him back to sleep and releases him from your illusion; the woman who slowly dissolves until his arms embrace nothing, until he will wake up holding only himself.

"Don't... go..." is the last thing you hear before he falls asleep, and you fall a thousand miles back to where you came from.

Back on your plane, you feel the first tear in centuries escape the corner of your eye. Your prayer, however, is the first one ever as you beg, beg for anyone who can hear you, to send you back to him, just one more time…

But who would hear the prayers of succubi?

[greatooglymooglyyy]

Say Goodbye Part III (Chris Sturniolo)

part one, part two

a/n: so ig im just letting this story go where it wants to, idk how many part it will be but lmk if you want to be added or removed from the taglist

contains: fluff, angst, breakup emotions, cussing, childhood friends to lovers to exes?, mentions of kissing, use of y/n (i couldn't avoid it anymore <\3), friendship issues, 1.1k words

There’s a tree in my backyard that’s witnessed almost every big moment Chris and I have ever shared. There used to be a treehouse in it, built one summer before I was born, where I first fell in love. It was just wide enough for our ten-year-old selves to lie head to head, our shoulders just barely kissing, as we listened to music on my first phone.

The treehouse was where, at thirteen, he first leaned in to kiss me, egged on by a dare from our friends. It was where I stopped him and whispered low that I wanted my first kiss to be real and he just stared at me nodding patiently like he understood.

Then, after my dad had torn down the treehouse and replaced it with a hammock bed, this tree is where he asked me to be his girlfriend. Where we lay together, watching the stars through the branches, until he got the courage to make that first kiss real after all.

But it’s also where I sat to make the call that ended us a year ago. Where my mom found me the next morning after I had spent the night crying so hard there was nothing left to do but sleep.

So I guess it’s fitting that I’m laying under this tree, swinging gently with the wind, when Chris finally makes his promised call. I take a deep breath, wondering if this is a step forward or backward before I answer.

“Hello?”

“Hi, baby.”

**********

I pull my phone away from my face to check the time, my eyes widening when I see how late it is. We’re two hours into this conversation about everything and absolutely nothing, and it’s getting cold out here. But somehow, going inside and away from this spot feels too much like breaking a spell so I’ve stayed put.

Chris finishes up telling me about some of the craziest fan interactions he's had and I pretend I haven't heard them all on his channels. Pretending to forget all the nights when the distance between us hurt too bad to ignore, and I'd turn on their podcast listening to them argue to chase the ache away. I shake off the memory and sigh, picking at the frays of the hammock.

“What was your favorite tour stop?” I ask. stifling a yawn and pushing off the ground to make the hammock sway.

“Umm…” He starts, and I can hear movement on his end like he’s pacing his room. “Is it cheating to say Boston? It was just a crazy moment to be on a stage in our hometown.”

I smile to myself at the wanderlust in his voice.

“I bet. I wish I could have-” I cut myself off remembering our situation and bite my lip. “I mean, I’m glad you guys got to have that, Chris. I’m sure it was amazing.”

“You could have come, you know.” He says quietly after a beat.

“Chris.”

“No. I know. It’s just…For some reason, I really thought you would. I had this vision of the show ending and I would find you waiting backstage. I played it over and over again in my head. How I’d get the chance to make it right.” He laughs, the sound a little bitter. “Man, it took a lot out of me not to call you that night. Took everything I had.”

“Don’t do this.” I sigh, closing my eyes to fight off the emotions he’s stirring up.

“I don’t know how not to do this.” He admits breathlessly. “I don’t know what it’s like to not want you.”

Neither of us says anything for a few moments letting his declaration hang in the air before I clear my throat.

“We’ve tried this before-” I begin but Chris interjects.

“If at first you don’t succeed-”

“Nothing has changed between us!” I cut in, my tone stern. “It will be exactly the same.”

“You’re wrong. Everything has changed. I know what it’s like to live without you now.”

God. I sit up and stare at my phone, trying to keep my heart from running away from my head. I want to get my car and drive to where he can hold me. But what if all roads to my first love lead me right back to this heartbreak?

“We can’t just go back to how we were before,” I say sadly, shaking my head to clear out the fantasies.

“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to move forward.” He insists.

I scrunch my face up in thought. “Friends?”

He laughs like I’ve said something hilarious, “Not a chance in hell.”

“Chris, I can’t-”

“We get on a plane back to LA in four weeks. Give me until then. Four weeks to make you fall back in love with me. And if not, I’ll walk away. I’ll call you my friend. I’ll do whatever you want. Just give me a month.”

I take a deep breath and give in, making a small noise of agreement. Chris makes a goofy celebration noise and I smile despite myself before we finally end the call.

What the hell did I just do to myself? I run a hand over my face in disbelief as I wonder how the hell he could ever think I fell out of love with him in the first place.

**********

I wake up the next morning to the smell of breakfast cooking and almost float down the stairs to the kitchen. My mom only ever cooks on special occasions so I’m confused until I turn the corner and find all three of the triplets around our island.

“Uhhh… good morning.” I sputter out, reaching a hand up to smooth down my hair. Chris and Nick smile over at me but Matt won’t meet my eye.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” My mom says, smiling as she slips past me in the doorway. “See you tonight.” She tosses a grin back at the boys and they call out their goodbyes. Nick stands from the stool and comes over to me, wrapping me up in a hug that I melt into immediately.

“We missed you, Y/N.” He says when we pull away, making tears spring to my eyes.

“I missed you guys more,” I say earnestly.

Matt scoffs and stands up, grabbing his keys and pushing past us. “I’ll wait in the car.”

I flinch as the door slams and Nick shrugs apologetically.

“Yeah, about him…” He trails off and Chris picks it up for him.

“I wasn’t the only one you left in the rearview, Y/N. Maybe you should go talk to him.”

I swallow hard knowing they are right. Because before there was me and Chris, there was Matt.

Matt who sat next to me in kindergarten and shared his crayons. Matt who pulled his sleeping cot closer to mine when I was scared at naptime. Matt who was my very first best friend. Our friendship plays on repeat in my mind as I walk out to their car, wondering what I say after a year of silence. A year of ignoring my best friend for a fight that was never his at all.

I hear Kid Cudi playing as I approach his window and bite back a smile at how much nothing ever changes. I knock softly against Matt’s window and he cuts his eyes to me, annoyance evident.

“What do you want?”

part 4

taglist: @sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @sturnioloslurps @hearts4chris

[nolita-fairytale]

don’t want to walk alone | carmen ‘carmy' berzatto | chapter three: september

summary: the moment we've all be waiting for: you and carmy get married.

warnings: swearing, eventual smut, lots of tooth rotting fluff, marriage, no use of y/n, second person pov, she/her pronouns

wc: 7.1k

listen to: the official don't want to walk alone playlist. there is SO much music in this chapter, so per the playlist, it starts with 'it takes two' and ends with 'love story.'

a/n: ok so this chapter was a behemoth to write and i am in fact in love with it. it's taken me days, really weeks, to get what i wanted out of it and i still feel like i could've gone deeper. however, i'm also kind of just happy to have this out in the world and give these two the wedding they wanted me to give them. each moment was curated and thought out, down to the music selection so this chapter is really just a product of me stewing on this idea for quite a bit of time. this is a part of my make my heart surrender universe so check out the masterlist if you haven't read the series! next up? their long weekend at the langham where we really get carmy x reader and moments for just them. please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist.

part two | masterlist | part four

“It takes two to make a thing go riiiiight.”

You never pictured the night before your wedding like this, you think to yourself, as you listen to Fak sing, to the best of his ability in a somewhat-decent falsetto, along to the 90s hip hop classic. 

Hell, you’re not sure you really ever pictured your wedding, but as you sit, surrounded by the people you love, you can’t see it going any other way than this. You watch as Richie rallies up as many people as he can for shots of Mallort, recounting that infamous morning at Ceres – a story he’s told over and over again, yet still manages to tell as animated and boisterously as the first time you heard it. 

You groan as you watch Richie successfully convince Gary to take a shot with him, Gary’s face twisting into a look of disgust in response to the foul taste of the Chicago liquor, as Sugar reminds him that he should know better by now. 

Carmy gives your knee a squeeze while simultaneously brushing off Richie’s attempt at shoving a shot in his direction. You laugh, a warm feeling filling you to the brim (could be the beer, could be being surrounded by your people), while Sydney jumps right into her best Rob Base impression. 

It just so happens that your continuously put-off ‘let’s shoot for next month’ karaoke plans with a few staff members from The Bear coincided with plans to go out with friends before the wedding, which is how you’ve found yourself here. 

After a lovely dinner at The Bear, your parents went back to the hotel for the night, insisting that you two go and have your fun. And as much as you would’ve loved to have brought your mother-who-has-a-doctorate-in-music-theory to karaoke night, she much preferred a good night’s sleep. 

The crowded bar claps enthusiastically as Fak and Sydney wrap up their song, finishing their truly-made-up-only-for-comedy dance moves. You giggle, exchanging another glance with Carmy, as your friends take their bows, before shuffling off of the stage. 

You hear the loud boom of the emcee’s voice through the microphone as he says:

“And up next we got… Tina!”

“Let’s go, T!” you shout through hands crowded around your mouth, in an effort to increase your volume of sound. 

Carmy cheers, clapping his hands together as Richie enthusiastically chants Tina’s name while Tina makes her way to the stage. 

“This is gonna be good,” Sugar nudges you, from where you are, seated in between the Berzatto siblings. 

You nod your head in agreement before settling in a little closer to Carmy. 

“The queen, herself,” Sydney remarks, gesturing towards the stage as she and Fak both return to your table. Sydney pulls up a chair next to where you and Carmy sit while Fak joins Richie on the other side of it. “And the ONLY act that could follow our exceptional performance.” 

“Well, exactly,” you agree, playfully. 

You exchange a laugh with Syd, while Carmy playfully rolls his eyes at the two of you. 

The crowded bar room goes quiet as soon as Tina reaches the stage, smiling nervously as she grabs the mic. 

“This one goes out to our favorite Jeffrey. And his lady Jeff,” she begins, earning a round of cheers and hollers from the group you’re with. Tina blows a kiss you and Carmy’s way, before nodding at the emcee to begin. 

“I love you guys.”

You hear the beginning notes of the iconic Etta James tune, gasping in anticipation of her song:

“at last my love has come along my lonely days are over and life is like a song.”

You sigh in admiration, a hand over your heart as Tina continues to sing. Her voice is powerful, soulful – perfect for the song, really – as she continues into the second verse. 

“at last the skies above are blue my heart was wrapped up in clover the night I looked at you.”

This time, it’s Carmy who steals a glance your way, his mind taken back to that fateful night at a bar in Hell’s Kitchen, when he spilled his drink on you so many years ago. You’re entranced, enchanted, with Tina’s performance, and he thinks to himself, that maybe this is the best it’s ever going to get: being here with you, getting to love you, on the cusp of promising you ‘forever’ tomorrow. 

Never had he expected that you’d make it this far. You’d always been so much cooler than him – well-liked, talented, funny – in and out of the kitchen, that he had no idea how the hell he was supposed to talk to you without vomiting all over your shoes out of nerves. 

He can remember that night so vividly: standing there in the restroom of the bar he can barely remember the name of, while you stood across from him with the kind of glare on your face he swore could kill him. But you didn’t, and after many attempts to push you away, you asked him to be your friend, deeming it the day that started it all – a friendship that would teeter the line of friendship and something more, one that would bloom into the greatest love he’s ever known. As much as he hates to give Nate fucking Walker any kind of credit, he’ll the be first in line to say he’s glad the jagoff pushed him into you, setting it all in motion. 

You can see that Carmy’s become distracted, lost in thought as the song finishes, something behind your favorite pair of blue eyes as the entire bar ignites into a huge round of celebratory claps for Tina’s performance. 

You look up over at him, setting your beer bottle down on the table before leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“I can hear you thinkin’ over there, Berzatto,” you tease him quietly, pulling him from his trip down memory lane. “It’s only the night before the biggest day of your life. Relax.”

Carmy rolls his eyes playfully in response, but before he can properly respond to your jab, the emcee has begun introducing the next karaoke singers to the stage. 

“Alright. Looks like I’ve got uh… three singers here this time,” the emcee says, his voice cutting sharply through the crowd of remaining cheers. “Let’s welcome Sydney back to the stage with… Sugar and… the bride to be!” 

“What!?” you exclaim, your eyes wide with surprise as Sydney jumps to her feet.  

“But I didn’t-,” you begin to protest, as Sugar pulls you to your feet, tugging on your arm. 

“Oh there’s no way in hell we’re letting you sit this one out,” Sugar orders you, as Sydney rushes to your side, ushering you towards the stage. 

“Yeah this was your idea!” Sydney simultaneously reminds you. 

“Babe! Help!” you call out to Carmy, only to be met with a shrug and a look that says ‘don’t think I could if I tried.’ 

“Oh, he’s in on this,” Sydney adds, which does explain why he didn’t even attempt to help you when your friends began dragging you out of your chair. “So don’t even think about asking him for help.”

“Wh-? But I don’t even know what we’re singing!” you continue to protest, looking from Sugar to Sydney as they push you onto the stage with them. 

“Trust,” Sydney reassures you, her face serious, while Nat slides a sash over you (one you’ve refused to wear all night) that has the word, ‘BRIDE’ printed over it in huge gold lettering. You groan, sending a glare in Nat’s direction, even though you know it’s all in good fun. 

You hear Richie shout, while Fak and Marcus clap loudly, and Carmy laughs, shouting words of encouragement your way. 

You know there’s no use in putting up a fight, especially since this was your idea anyways, as you begrudgingly take one of the three wireless mics. Before you can ask once more, what the hell Syd and Nat signed the three of you up to sing, a distinct slide of piano keys comes in, lighting up the karaoke screen in front of you. 

You grin immediately, in recognition, and to your two best friend’s delight, as they smile too, raising the mics to your lips to sing:

“friday night and the lights are low looking out for a place to go where they play the right music getting in the swing you come to look for a king.”

You laugh as your friends point towards Carmy on the last line. The three of you continue to sing the next part with reckless abandon, and all is forgiven. 

You could care less about how the three of them conspired against you to get you up here. All that matters now is that you’re here, singing one of your favorite songs with your best friends, grooving and dancing to the ABBA classic, as you prepare to marry your best friend. 

“you can dance you can jive having the time of your life ooh, see that girl watch that scene digging the dancing queen.”

"what good is love without any strings?" dayglow, 'close to me'

“Baby.”

Carmy groans in response, as soon as he hears the low hum of your voice. 

“Good morning,” you say, a soft smile on your face as you watch him begin to blink his eyes open. 

Carmy turns his head towards you, and he can’t believe he gets to wake up to this – to you – every single day. 

“Hey,” he says back, a soft smile spreading across his lips. “Good Morning, sweetheart.” 

“Guess what?” you ask him with the kind of glee and anticipation as a kid on Christmas morning. 

“Hmm?” he hums, as you smooth a hand over his chest, your body pressed against his side as you look at your soon-to-be husband. 

“We’re getting married today,” you grin, a giddiness that bubbles inside of you. 

“‘S that so?” he mumbles, playfully. 

“Uh huh,” you nod with a chuckle, this time playing along. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

Instead of replying with words, Carmy swiftly wraps an arm around you, before flipping you so that you’re the one on your back this time. You let out of a shriek and a laugh as he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips before adding:

“How could I ever?”

You shrug casually, “Weeeelll…. you just have so much going on up there.” You reach up to where Carmy hovers above you, brushing a golden curl out of his eyes as you continue your little dance. 

“You know, between the restaurant and all that time spent being a genius,” you joke, bantering with Carmy. “Don’t know how you have the time to remember silly little things like wedding dates and what not.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Carmy laughs, shaking his head incredulously, before pressing another kiss, this one much deeper to your lips again. 

And this time, as he pulls away, he gives you one of those languid looks that pierces right through your soul replying much more seriously this time with:

“I could never forget you.”

The way he says it with such conviction takes your breath away, and you know that Carmy means it. The double meaning isn’t lost on him either. 

It’s one of the reasons he called you all those years ago to come teach Marcus; it’s why you ended up in Chicago:

Because as much as he tried, as damn good at compartmentalizing as he’d always been, he really could never forget you. Carmy shakes his head once more, a playful smile on his face as he leans down to kiss you again, wondering when the hell he got this fuckin’ sentimental. As he places his mouth over yours, you’re more than happy to switch gears into doing this dance for a little longer. 

 Carmy traces light shapes against your skin, his mouth pouring love into yours with every kiss, with every drag of his tongue. You gasp as he grinds his hips into yours, making it clear where he’d like this all to go. You pull away, only for a moment, giggling cheekily. 

“Babe, I-,” you begin to protest, as Carmy chuckles, continuing to kiss you with zero intention of stopping “We… we’re going to be late.” This time, you feel his hands snake underneath the t-shirt you’ve been sleeping in, sending chills down your spine. 

“And-, Carm-, I-, I have to do my hair for-, … and what about-, my parents, they’ll-,” you stammer through, your thoughts becoming all kinds of disorganized with the way Carmy’s lips move against your neck this time. 

“I’ll be quick,” he answers with an aplomb you didn’t know he had in him. 

“I don’t know if that’s the flex you think it is,” you tease him as his hands begin to cup your breasts, your body responding with an involuntary arch of your back. 

“How fast I can make you come? I think it might be?” he murmurs against your lips, cockily.  

“Carmy,” you moan, as he begins to pull your t-shirt up higher, making it incredibly difficult to think of your to-do list for much longer. 

“Oh fuck it,” you sigh, deciding that, perhaps there’s no harm in getting the honeymoon started a little early anyways. 

“That’s my girl,” Carmy whispers against you, grinning like a Cheshire cat as you surrender to him. 

And he’s right about this too. 

How fast he can make you cum deserves all kinds of bragging rights, awards – a Nobel Peace prize, even – and you’re not sure why you thought getting a head start on doing your hair would’ve been the better idea in the first place. You spend the morning in the arms of the man you plan to spend forever with as he writes love letters, promises to give you the world, declarations of adoration with the pleasure he brings you. And besides, you’re not running all that behind on time anyways – something you realize, as the two of you get out of the shower (a round two, really). 

It takes a little longer than expected – mostly due to the fact that you and Carmy can’t seem to keep your hands off of each other – but against all odds, the two of you pull up to the courthouse right on time. 

It’s a sight for sore eyes: you, running hand in hand with your husband-to-be in a white, halter-cut wedding dress while Carmy follows along, in a classic black suit – no tie around the neck – as the two of you hurry into the courthouse. 

Sure, you could’ve tried to get here early – saved a little time and stress – but where’s the fun in that?

The two of you approach your families, hand in hand, to the sounds of your heels clicking against the marble floors of City Hall. The actual ceremony at City Hall, you’d both decided, would be family only. 

Since you weren’t making a huge deal of it, you viewed this part as necessary paperwork, while the party itself could function as the ceremony and reception. But as soon as you see the look on your parents’ faces, you know this is more than just a few signed papers. You watch as their faces change, from impatient, waiting, eager, to in awe and emotional as you walk towards them. 

You hear Ava shout your name, immediately dropping her dad’s hand as she runs towards you. 

“Ava!!” you exclaim, bending down in your heels and white dress to scoop her up into a hug. You spin her around, just for a moment, before setting her back down on the floor. 

“You look like a princess,” she says, completely in awe, her eyes wide as she looks up at you. 

“You look like a princess, sweetie,” you reply, before giving her another hug. “And you know I can’t wait to hear your song, right?” 

“I picked the best one,” she grins, proudly. 

“I’m sure you did,” you reply confidently, with a playful wink. 

“Oh-ho! Pay up, Rick,” Sugar mutters smugly, to Richie, as Carmy busies himself with greeting both of your parents.

Richie groans, muttering something profane as he not-so-discreetly hands Nat a $20 bill, earning a quizzical look from both of your parents that travels from Carmy and then to you. 

“Sorry,” Richie apologizes, this time directing this one towards your parents as he holds up both hands, respectfully bowing his head. 

You send a playful glare Richie’s way, earning a sardonic laugh from Natalie, as you push right past him and over to your parents. 

“Oh sweetie,” your mom gasps, pulling you in for a tight squeeze. 

“Hi, Mom,” you grin, as you hug her. “Dad!”

“My God, honey, you look beautiful,” your dad says, as it’s his turn next. You hug your dad, exchanging a few words about the morning, asking how they slept, how the hotel is, as your mom and Carmy hug it out. 

This time, he turns his attention towards Carmy, so you release him, letting the two of them have their moment. 

Taking your chance, while your parents are otherwise distracted, you make your way over to where Sugar and Richie stand. 

“What? You guys were betting on whether or not we’d be late?” you ask Sugar, an eyebrow quirked in Richie’s direction. 

“Listen,” Sugar sighs, cupping your face in her hands, endearingly. “You and Carm are nothing if not consistent.” You exchange a laugh with your almost-sister-in-law because you know she’s right. “And for the record, I bet that you’d be-.”

“Just in time!” the judge says, as he approaches the six of you, slipping his judge robe over his shoulders, black leather fold pressed against his chest. “You guys ready to get started?”

Carmy looks over at you, as if he’s waiting for you to take the lead here, and you nod, before the both of you turn back to the judge. 

“Yes.” 

“Great,” he smiles, clapping his hands together once. “Then let’s get you two married!”

"sooner or later, you'll find yourself right where you were, on the corner went looking for her, she had somethin' to tell you, she can't quite remember, but wait for a second, it always comes back to her, you always come back to her." -- the japanese house, 'morning pages'

And after dotting all appropriate i’s and crossing all necessary t’s, with one signed marriage license later, you, Carmy, your parents, Richie and Ava, Sugar, and Judge Thompson find yourself on the green roof of City Hall. 

Carmy stands across you, his hands in yours, offering you a lifetime with one look from the most expressive blue orbs you’ve ever found yourself in. 

“If you’d like to say something, if you prepared any vows… now would be the time,” Judge Thompson says, offering you and Carmy both the space to do so. 

“Oh I think we-,” you begin, ready to decline the opportunity since you figured you’d save it for the reception. 

“Actually uh, yeah. Can we?” Carmen interjects, sending you a look of reassurance. 

“Of course,” Judge Thompson nods, giving you and Carmy the floor. 

“Carm, I didn’t prepare anything for-,” you begin, but he’s quick to put your mind and heart at ease and he interjects with:

“It’s okay. I did.”

“Oh.”

You hadn’t expected this, since you both agreed you’d save any kind of speeches that may or may not happen today during the reception. But as Carmy’s palms grow clammier, a nervous look in his eyes as he searches for the words he’s practiced over the last few days, it becomes clear that he’s been planning this. 

“As you know… I’m not always great with words,” he begins, almost apologetically, letting out a small laugh as he looks to Richie for reassurance. In turn, Richie gives Carmy a sympathetic nod, and you’re practically melting over the fact that he probably asked Richie for help with this. 

Let it rip.

 “I just uh-,” Carmy stammers, because he really, really wants to get this right. “Well, I’ll keep it brief.” He takes a breath, letting all of his nerves out on the exhale before beginning again. 

Let it rip, buddy.

“I have loved you for so long – I think maybe since the day you brought me soup after I uh… you know, spilled my drink on you,” he states, earning the sweetest laugh from you, your friends, and family that came to witness. 

“-- so I promise to love you for even longer, for forever. You changed my life.”

You exhale, trying your best not to cry right here and now, thankful for the mysterious powers of waterproof mascara. 

“Jeez, no pressure,” you joke, dryly, before taking another breath, this time approaching your words with much more seriousness.

“Carmen. I’m so happy… that I changed your life,” you begin, cheekily, earning a laugh from your witnesses once more. “Because you changed mine. And I promise to love you forever.” 

‘I love you,’ Carmy mouths to you, before nodding towards the judge to signal that you’re both done with your vows. 

“Alright then,” Judge Thompson smiles, looking from you and then to Carmen, before uttering the question that will change the course of your life forever. 

“I do,” Carmy replies, his voice even, sure, ready. 

Natalie steps up this time, handing Carmy your ring, and you watch, teary eyed and full hearted as he slides it onto your left ring finger. 

“And do you take Carmen Anthony Berzatto to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Judge Thompson repeats the question, this time for you to answer. 

“Yeah, why the hell not?” you reply, earning a groan from your mother and a playful chuckle from your father. 

“Yes. I do.” 

At Richie’s encouragement, it’s Ava this time who steps up, handing you Carmy’s ring, with the sweetest most excited smile on her face as she looks from you to Carmy. You thank her, before returning your attention to Carmy once more. His eyes search your face, and there’s something so soft, so genuine in them that you think you’re going to cry as you help him put on his new piece of jewelry as well. 

“Then by the power vested in me by the State of Illinois, I now pronounce you, husband and wife,” Judge Thompson concludes, contently.

“Should we-, do we kiss?” Carmy asks, looking from you to Judge Thompson. 

“I’m just a civil servant but you may, yes,” he answers lightheartedly. 

“Let’s go for it,” you shrug, taking a step towards Carmy. 

Instead of answering, he smiles, stepping towards you before planting one on you in front of your friends and family that were invited to this brief ceremony. 

While Sugar claps gleefully, Richie claps along muttering a ‘get a room,’ while you remind Carmy to keep it PG enough for your parents. You giggle, slowly pulling away from the kiss that begins the rest of your life with the man that you love. 

“We did it, baby. We’re married,” you chuckle, in disbelief. 

“Finally,” Carmy sighs, and you can see his smile from his lips to the crinkles in the corners of his eyes. 

It doesn’t take long for your mom to usher both you and Carmy over to a spot in the garden she thinks will be best for pictures, just as the photographer arrives. She wasn’t wrong when she insisted you hire one, that you’d want to remember this day for the rest of your life. The photographer, who is incredibly talented, gets the shots needed up here in the garden, then downstairs, and outside, before you’re all off to Sugar’s place for the reception. 

As you and Carmy sit in the car, having taken a separate one than your parents, you’re giddy with anticipation. 

It’s all so surreal. 

Never in his life did Carmy picture it ever getting this good, but as he looks over at you, your head resting on his shoulder, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, smiling to himself. 

“We did it, sweet girl. We’re married,” he says, repeating your words from earlier. 

“Yeah,” you grin, lifting your head off of his shoulder. 

“We are, Bear.”

"give your heart and soul to me, and life will always be la vie en rose."

“No, Sugar! That’s not supposed to go out yet. Everything’s goin’ out family style. Let’s just take out the apps for-,” Carmy exclaims, stressed over the execution of your wedding reception-slash-brunch, because he just can’t help himself. 

“Fuckin’ Christ, Bear!” she snaps at her brother. “Will you calm down and let us handle this?” 

“I just want everything to-,” Carmy begins, his face blushing a shade darker. 

“To go right. We know. And we know we’re just taking out apps, alright? Everyone else is outside, and everyone’s having a good time so just… relax,” she suggests, her tone serious because she’s just about to kick Carmy out of the kitchen. 

Carmy shifts nervously, hyper-fixating on the happenings of the kitchen, his eyes tracking the movements of one of his caterer, Derek’s, sous chefs. It’s almost as if he needs to give himself a distraction as he asks, blankly:

“Do you uh… you think Mom is actually gonna show?”

Sugar pauses, the question throwing her. 

“I… I don’t know. I called her yesterday. She never picked up. What do you think?” she replies, her voice quiet. 

With your encouragement, you and Carmy had sent his mother an invitation to the brunch, only it’s been Sugar who’s followed up with her. 

“We did what we needed to and if she doesn’t come, then she doesn’t come. I’m not pushin’ it,” Carmy had explained, justifying his actions, or rather, lack there of, to you. 

She’s doubtful, but Nat can’t help the tiny glimmer of hope she has in her heart that Donna might show, even if she knows it’s unrealistic. In fact, her mom had barely been interested in stopping by as of late, ever since she’d told the Berzatto matriarch that she was pregnant. She keeps telling herself that it doesn’t matter – that it’s probably better if Donna doesn’t show – but it doesn’t help ease the disappointment she feels about the situation as a whole. 

“Doubt it, honestly. Never even got an RSVP so,” Carmy shrugs, his eyes following one of the caterers as the woman plates a few Hors d'oeuvres on a large serving platter. 

Before Sugar can say anything else about their mom, Carmy’s impulse takes over as he opens his mouth to give feedback to one of Derek’s assistants. 

“Carmy!” she snaps, blocking his pathway with her body, before repeating one more time:

“Let. Us. Handle this.”

“I mean, are any of us actually surprised, Nat?” Sydney adds, as soon as she enters the kitchen from where she’s been outside in the backyard, in search of another plate to bring out. “He’s a control freak! We know this!”

“I-,” Carmy starts, knowing it’s no use protesting, as both Sugar and Syd begin guiding him out of the kitchen and into the living room. 

“C’mon, Carm. Why don’t you go see what your wife is up to?” Sydney suggests, emphasizing your new title, earning a snicker from Natalie. 

“Who’s wife? This wife?” you ask, as soon as your feet hit the bottom of the staircase. 

“Woah,” is all Carmy says. He can’t help but stare, gawking at you in your new dress. 

You’ve changed out of your near-floor length wedding dress into a sleeveless white blazer dress that’s much more friendly to hanging out with your friends and family outside, kept your hair the same, and put on one of those super stay red lipsticks that you’re eager to put through its paces. 

It’s as if time stops when he sees you, and Sugar and Syd both notice, using this time to retreat back to their duties. The only thing that can break his focus right now is the way that you let a carefree laugh fly from your lips, as soon as you see that Natalie’s using the future baby’s baby gate that Nat must’ve purchased early, to officially block Carmy from coming back to the kitchen. 

“What?” Carmy asks, only to be met with a gesture towards what Natalie is doing. 

He frowns, immediately seeing the baby gate his sister has put up. 

“You know, I’m not a baby,” he pouts at his sister. 

“Then stop acting like one!” she parries right back, before disappearing into the kitchen to help out your caterer. 

Quick to console your husband, you wrap your arms around your neck, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. 

“They’re only trying to make sure we have a good time, Bear,” you offer, sympathetically, only to be met with a heavy sigh because you know it feels near-impossible for him not to be in the kitchen. 

“You trust Derek right?” you ask this time, referring to the caterer that Carmy hand-picked for your wedding. 

“Yeah,” he nods. 

“Okay. Then let’s go out there. Make our grand entrance,” you suggest, a playful smile on your lips. 

“Yeah,” Carmy nods again, this time a little more sure about taking a step away from what’s happening inside the kitchen. You take his hand, leading him towards the back door that opens up to the backyard. 

You’re truly amazed at what everyone involved has been able to do this morning, while you and Carmy were off at the courthouse getting married. Long tables pushed together and covered with tablecloths function as the main attraction of the you-and-Carmy-wedding-reception-brunch, filled with ceramic plates, printed menus, apps on serving platters, taper candles and flowers in all kinds of little to big vases. 

The minute the two of you enter the backyard area that’s been transformed into a wedding venue, you’re met with cheers, ooo’s and aaaaah’s, claps, and congratulations by your friends and family. 

“Sugar really knocked this out of the park,” Carmy says, in awe as he takes in the scene. “Okay, fine. I’ll just have to trust, I guess.”

You nod, happy to hear the confidence in his voice as you agree, “That’s my guy!”

There’s a banner that hangs across a much smaller table, the one that holds the stunning wedding cake Marcus has made for you that reads, Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Berzatto.

“See? I told you I couldn’t wait to be Mrs. Berzatto,” you joke with Carmy, as the two of you walk hand in hand towards the table. 

“I think I like the sound of that more than I should,” Carmy smirks, a glimmer in his eyes that says ‘I can’t wait to get you alone.’

“Can’t wait for you to show me later,” you wink, referring to the long weekend you plan on spending with Carmy as a pre-honeymoon. “C’mon. We should probably go say hello.” 

“So… you two married now or what?” Marcus asks, as soon as the two of you approach the table. 

You hold up your left hand, showing off your new ring, earning grins and more cheers from your friends and family. 

“That’s what I’m talking about!” he celebrates, while Tina simultaneously and enthusiastically cries out: “Congratulations, babies!”

The plan is to divine and conquer. While you chat with Gary, Carmy lets himself become enveloped in Tina’s arms and praise, as the two of you make your way down the table saying hello to your guests: your parents, Marcus, Tina, Ebra, Fak, Gary, a few others from the restaurant, while. 

Carmy’s glad you decided to keep this wedding small: close friends and family only, because he’s not sure he could’ve done any more of this. It’s just close friends from the restaurant and your parents. You’d even decided earlier that this weekend would be chill enough that you’d celebrate with Maya and Liz a few months later when you and Carmy stop in New York before the official honeymoon, planning another celebration with your New York people for later. 

Besides, you don’t mind celebrating you and Carmy a few more times, after all. 

Finally, you’re both able to settle into the empty chairs seated right next to your parents in the middle of the table labeled ‘bride’ and ‘groom.’ It’s a Saturday well spent, being celebrated by some of your favorite people in the world on a day you made a promise to your favorite person in the world. It doesn’t take long for everyone in the kitchen to join you at the table: Sugar, Richie, Sydney, and Pete, and once the meal is served, family style, you’re pulling up chairs and insisting that Derek and his team join you as well. 

The menu is perfect, and you can see why Carmy’s been trying to get this guy to come work for him for so long. Next to Carmy’s, this carbonara might be your second favorite carbonara on the planet. After all the eating, drinking, and merry-making, it’s Richie who steps up to start the speeches, gently tapping a butter knife against a champagne glass as he stands at the table. 

“Can I get everyone’s attention?” he asks, his voice loud. Richie raises his champagne glass as he begins his speech with:

“Now as the best man and this Bobby Flay-motherfucker's cousin, I think I earn the right to kick this thing off, eh?” earning a laugh from everyone around the table. 

“To Carmy and his much, much better half,” he continues, earning a laugh from everyone around the table. Your mom squeezes your hand under the table, and out of the corner of your eye you can see Sydney nudging Carmy softly as Richie addresses you. 

“You once made me $150 richer.” You laugh, exchanging a look with your now-husband, as you fondly remember the day you returned to Chicago, only to learn that the entire restaurant staff of The Bear had been betting, not on if, but on when you’d return.

“You see, we all took bets – all of us – that you were comin’ back after that first week you spent here in Chicago, and you know why? I think it was obvious to any jagoff with a pair of eyes that what you and Cousin had was something special – something not to be missed, or overlooked, or skipped over. And thank God you two idiots woke up and figured it out yourselves. You did good, cousin. And I know your brother would’ve wanted to be here for this. I love you, man. I love you both.”

“To this very special day, and to the rest of your lives. Cheers.”

“Cheers!” everyone repeats, raising their glasses, clinking in celebration. 

The upside to having a small wedding party is having a small wedding party, and the downside is that everyone who feels the need to get in a word does so. While Ebraheim waxes on about love as a metaphor, Marcus keeps his toast short, leading to the cutting of your wedding cake:

Vanilla bean cake, with a clementine curd, a swiss meringue buttercream, decorated with delicate flowers, citrus, and dollops of curd to finish. 

Richie slips out with Pete momentarily, earning a few quizzical looks from both Carmy and Nat as she gets up from the table to make sure they’re not trading punches in the driveway. It’s not till Richie returns with Pete, carrying a rented little karaoke machine for Ava. Hand in hand, you watch as Natalie guides Ava up and out of her chair, and over to the head of the table, handing her the microphone. 

“You ready, sweetheart?” she asks, earning a confident nod from Ava. 

The beginning of the famous Taylor Swift begins to play, and you and Carmy exchange a knowing look as she begins to sing along. 

“we were both young when i first saw you i close my eyes and the flashback starts i'm standin' there on a balcony in summer air.”

As Natalie and Pete watch on, Pete hugs his wife close to her, tears in his eyes as he whispers: 

“This is going to be us very, very soon.” 

“Yeah,” Nat nods, holding back her own tears as she notices how proud Richie looks, and how happy Ava seems to be. 

It’s not that she wants Donna here. Realistically, she knows that it would be a nightmare, most likely descending into drama and chaos from the minute she walked in, but she can’t believe that her own mother didn’t come to her son’s wedding. She shouldn’t be surprised, but it hurts more than she imagined, doing this, watching Carmy get married, having this baby with Pete, all without her. 

Ava finishes her Taylor Swing song to a resounding and enthusiastic round of applause. Marcus cheers her on while you and Carmy share a soft, chaste kiss, welcoming Ava with open arms as she runs towards you. 

“That was so good, baby,” Richie exclaims, when it’s his turn to scoop Ava up into his arms as you get out of your seat. Allowing Richie to sit next to Carmy while the two gush over her performance, you get up, eager to help put the karaoke machine away. 

As she watches, Nat reminds herself that this is what family looks like – this is the family she wants for her baby – even if it means something, someones, are missing.

And it’s as if she can’t hold back her tears anymore, excusing herself as she jerks her body away from Pete’s grasp, hurrying back inside so as not to cause a scene. 

“What just-?” Pete begins. 

“I’ll go,” you assure him, having witnessed the whole interaction. “I-, it’s not you, Pete. I’ll go.”

It doesn’t take you long to find Nat, though she’s not where you expected her to be, having run all the way upstairs when you find her sitting on the floor of the baby’s nursery – one you helped paint and get ready over a month ago. 

“Hey, everything alright?” you ask, as you gently push the door open. 

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” she sniffles, wiping tears out of her eyes as she realizes she’s no longer alone. 

“Nat, what… what’s going on?” you ask her, joining her on the floor. 

But it seems as if your question only makes it worse as her face crumbles once more, beginning to cry. 

“Oh no! I-, Nat, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it even worse.”

“No, no, you didn’t. It’s just these… stupid pregnancy hormones!” she exclaims, frustratedly, earning a small laugh from the both of you. 

She takes a beat, and then a breath, and then finally, she feels ready to tell you. 

“It’s Mom,” she admits, even though she really doesn’t want it to be. “I just can’t believe she didn’t show. It’s stupid, I know.” 

You nod in understanding, before scooting a little closer to her, “It’s not stupid! And I’m sorry. For the both of you, really. Carmy doesn’t want to talk about it but, I know he’s some combination of relieved and disappointed too.” 

Sugar sighs, “Yeah that uh, that sums it up pretty well. About anything involving Mom these days.” 

Nat takes another breath, and another beat, because she knows she’s safe to share this with you. 

“I just… I’ve just been thinking a lot… with the baby and everything. About family. About motherhood. I mean, your parents are so great and I-. I’m just sad for us, you know?”

“I’m sad for you too,” you empathize, rubbing soothing circles on her back, before leaning back on both of your hands instead. 

“God, I’m so sorry. It’s your wedding day and I’m causing all the drama,” Nat begins to apologize. 

“Oh, you have nothing to be sorry for!” you interrupt her, quick to dismiss any notion of that. “You lent us your house and put together all of this in your backyard on top of accompanying us to the courthouse! You have nothing to apologize for.”

Sugar nods slowly, processing what you’ve just said, realizing that you and Pete have been such big role models of unconditional love for her. 

“Wanna know what I think?” you ask, your voice a little more optimistic this time. 

“What’s up?” she asks back, stealing a glance your way. 

“I think… that now that I’m a Berzatto… and with your little Bear on the way,” you begin, painting her the picture. “We’ve got a whole new chance to write a new chapter for the Berzattos.” 

She looks your way once more, because these are the words she didn’t know she needed to hear. 

“And with that… we can make this… make our families anything we want them to be filled with love, and joy, and-, well, only a little drama because you know, you guys are… you. But… Sug. This can all start with us, you know?”

“You really think so?” she asks you, a hopeful look in her eyes. 

“Yeah,” you answer, confidently. 

She nods slowly once more, almost as if she’s letting herself believe them. 

“Thank you. For checking in on me. For… this,” she says softly, sniffling again. 

“That’s what sisters are for,” you repeat her words back to her, one’s that she’s said to you time and time again. 

“We should probably get back out there,” Sugar suggests, sitting up a little taller this time. 

“Yeeeaaaaahhhhh,” you sigh, disappointedly, this time making a joke as you continue with: “We don’t want to start any rumors about us running away together. 

Nat snorts with laughter, thanking you for always making her laugh, as you stand up, making your way to your feet. You hold out your hands, helping Nat up to hers this time, before the two of you head back downstairs. 

“Hey,” Carmy says, as soon as he sees the two of you. “Pete said you disappeared.”

“We were just talking about some stuff,” you reply, sharing a look with Sugar before releasing her hand. 

“I’ll leave the two of you to it,” she says, before slipping out through the back door. 

“Everything okay?” Carmy asks, his brow knitted together in concern. 

You nod, “Yeah, she’s alright. How’re you doing?”

“Today? I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he replies, a smile on his lips that makes you melt. 

“Damn right you are,” you reply, pressing your lips against his. 

It’s a private moment for just you two, where you can kiss him like you want to, and you have to admit that the lipstick holds up. Wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands go to your waist, you propose a grand idea to your husband:

“Now that cake has been cut… what do you say… we spend a little more time with our guests, say our goodbyes… then we get our honeymoon started early? Think uh… our room at the Langham should be ready by now.”

“Thought we already did that this morning,” Carmy smirks, kissing you again. 

You giggle, leaning your forehead against his, “You know what I mean, jerk.” 

Carmy scoffs, shaking his head incredulously as he feigns hurt, “Married for a few hours and you’re already insulting me.” Instead of adding anything else, he simply pulls you in closer by your hips murmuring against your lips:

“Alright then, Mrs. Berzatto. Then let’s go say goodbye to our guests.”

“it's a love story, baby, just say, "yes" – taylor swift, ‘love story’

[luvsturniolo]

ー ★ !! inebriated

pairing : chris sturniolo x fem!reader

synopsis : after being dragged to a party by his brothers, chris finds himself stumbling into a very drunk girl — who looks like she's on the verge of either puking or sobbing. he can't tell which.

a/n : i haven't touched my keyboard in literal months so i wrote this purely due to the fact that i needed to get back into this writing lore ! if this is super shitty & bad, i apologize. this is ur warning !!

also ! there will be underage drinking, so if that sort of thing bothers you in any way i advise that you click off of this rn and find another fic.

also x2 , this will be switching POVs a bit. i'll put their names above each scene tho, so it's not confusing.

wc : 8k

CHRIS

"i don't know if this is a good idea." chris says, warily, as he and his brothers trudge up the stairs toward the loud dorm room. they're all the way down the hall, and he can still hear every single lyric blaring from the speakers.

"oh, don't be a fucking wuss." nick rolls his eyes, gently nudging his brother in the side with his elbow. nick laughs a bit, but when he notices the genuine uneasiness displayed on his brother's face, he feels a twinge of guilt in his gut. "okay, fine. i have an idea."

chris looks up at nick with a deep furrow in his brow, "i hope your idea involves us going back to our own dorm for the rest of the night."

"well, not exactly." nick tells him. "how about matt and i go to the party, while you wait out here in the hall all night?"

chris lets out a loud groan, twisting to sit down on the staircase. what annoys chris isn't the fact that nick is so uncharacteristically persistent about attending this stupid party. it's the fact that he offered this idea as though he genuinely expected chris to sit out in the hallway for hours.

nick rolls his eyes at chris's childish behavior, leaning against the wall of the stairwell, seeming to have completely given up on trying to convince his brother to come along with him. he simply watches with an amused face as chris throw a tantrum.

matt — who has become incredibly sick of listening to his brothers' bickering the entire walk across campus — finally decides to butt into the conversation. he sits down on the stair beside chris, draping an arm over his shoulders. chris glances at matt out of the corner of his eye.

"i have an idea, too." matt tells him with a gentle tone. "wanna hear mine?"

for a moment, chris looks uncertain. but matt is so good at comforting people that he can't help but give in, agreeing to hear his idea as well. "fine." chris mutters.

"listen. you come to the party with us for twenty minutes." he says, making chris immediately let out a fatigued sigh. but matt quickly continues to explain. "if you're still wanting to leave by then, let me know and i'll take you back to our dorm without any questions. but if you end up having fun, you'll stay with us and give us both twenty bucks for having to listen to you whine the whole way here."

chris doesn't hesitate to agree to this deal. he shakes matt's hand to solidify the agreement and the three of them continue walking to the party.

there's no way in hell chris is going to enjoy this. the booming music paired with the stench of alcohol and weed is undoubtably going to give him a splitting head ache by the end of these twenty minutes.

YOU

parties aren't exactly your cup of tea, to put it lightly. you've only been to a few throughout your entire collage career, and you've never found yourself liking them. there's always far too many people in attendance for you to be able to relax or enjoy yourself. so, you've managed to avoid them thus far.

but you've had an incredibly rough day today, and you're pretty keen on the idea of being able to drink your pain away.

you've been friends with jasmin and elaine since you guys were in middle school. the three of you were inseparable for years, and everyone knew it. you were always closer with elaine than jasmin, simply because your guys' personalities merged better. as a trio, you guys spent every single weekend together since you were kids. your families all knew one another. you gossiped together about boys and drama and school. you confided in each other, and didn't spend a second apart.

however, that all ended today. you found elaine making out with your boyfriend in your guys' shared dorm room a few hours ago.

you had been dating kade for two years now, and you introduced him to your friends immediately when you guys met. you were excited to show them the wonderful boy you'd fallen for. they seemed to like him, and you guys became a quartet. you, elaine, jasmin, and kade. it was perfect. for two whole years. but it's all ruined now.

as soon as you walked in on elaine and kade in bed together, you called jasmin to tell her the news. she seemed just as shocked and betrayed as you were, and she rushed to your side instantly. you'd been in her dorm ever since, marinating in your own pitiful sorrow.

the thing is, you've been cheated on before. yes, it hurts ; it hurts like hell. but losing elaine hurts far more than losing your silly boyfriend. plus, kade had always been a bit of an asshole. elaine was the one who disapproved of him the most. the two of them always argued and made banter playfully. god. now you feel like such a fucking idiot for not realizing sooner.

"hey," jasmin says with the softest voice imaginable.

she opens the door to the dorm with a gentle creak, carrying in your favorite candies along with her. she trudges across the room before sitting on her bed — which you've made into your own. the mattress dips under her weight before she sets all the sweets down onto the duvet.

you sit up with a quiet word of thanks. ever since the incident, you've been tangled up in jasmin's blankets with a pillow pressed over your head to drown out the noise of a nearby party being thrown a few rooms down the hall.

"where'd you get all this?" you ask jasmin as you shuffle through the candies, finding the sweetest ones and unwrapping them joyfully.

"paxton is throwing a party for his birthday, and he let me take a few things." she explains, picking up a few for herself.

you can still hear the music blaring from down the hall, along with the sounds of muffled voices and laughter. you immediately wonder if kade and elaine are there together. kade is fairly popular, so he was most likely invited. and elaine loves parties, so she would have attended with him.

the thought of them together brings a certain ache to your stomach, making you want to lurch forward and vomit everywhere. you don't, of course, but you definitely consider it.

"i really fucking love you, jaz." you say.

you look at her with nothing by admiration behind your gaze. she holds the eye contact before smiling gently. she sets down her candies and pulls you into a tight hug. you return the embrace, burrowing your face in the crook of her neck.

"you deserve someone who treats you like the most wonderful person in the whole fucking world." she says against your hair. "because that's who you are."

"i don't feel like that, right now." you tell her, pulling out of the hug to gesture at your appearance. your hair is greasy tangled, your face is puffy from crying, your clothes are twisted, and you probably smell like shit.

"how about this," jasmin says with a mischievous grin spreading across her lips, "i'll lend you one of my most gorgeous dresses, and then we can go to paxton's party together. every single person there will stop and stare, including kade."

jasmin stands from the bed and grabs you by the hands, giggling as she pulls you to your feet. despite wanting nothing more than to go back to rotting uselessly in her bed, you can't help but laugh along with her.

"let's show him what he's missing out on." jasmin declares with a glow in her eyes, that makes you feel like you're in a cheesy disney movie. but you're honestly loving every second of it.

CHRIS

"how long has it been?" chris asks, leaning against the counter behind him. he looks up at matt, but realizes that his brother is no longer in front of him. chris groans audibly. he should have assumed that he wouldn't keep his end of the deal. there's no way matt could walk him home if chris doesn't know where he is.

"it's almost ten o'clock." a random guy says from beside chris. he looks over at him and smiles gratefully, hoping he doesn't look too awkward standing by himself. "this party is shit, don't you think?"

"for sure." chris agrees, quickly. "i don't even drink, so there's nothing for me to do other than watch everyone else get shit-faced. which isn't exactly how i want to spend my saturday night."

the guy just watches chris with an amused expression. the way he's staring makes chris feel a bit uncomfortable, but he refuses to show any sign of uneasiness.

"you're nick's brother, aren't you?" he asks suddenly.

the guy has sandy blonde hair and a face splattered with freckles. his eyes are dark brown, and a bit intimidating. he has high cheekbones and a grin that would make anyone tempted to smile along with him. the stranger takes a long sip out of his red solo cup as he waits for chris to respond, setting it down on the countertop behind him without breaking their eye contact.

"yeah, one of them." chris replies, finally. "i'm christopher."

"mm. full name, huh?" the guy hums with a bit of humor laced behind his tone. chris doesn't say anything, simply nodding as a reply. "i'm paxton. this is my party, i'm turning twenty."

chris's face drops. he instantly wants to take back everything he'd previously said. oh, he fucked up big time. he knows that nick only wanted to come to this party because of the major crush he has on paxton. and chris just insulted the shit out of his birthday party, then acted passive aggressive when giving him his full name as an introduction.

god, nick is gonna kill him.

"right, well i have to go." chris says, quickly exiting the kitchen with no idea where to go next. he should probably have stayed and apologized to paxton, but he was too scared of possibly fucking up even farther.

while aimlessly wandering around the crowded dorm, chris bumps into someone. he instantly apologizes, looking down at her with remorse. but his eyes quickly soften when he recognizes her.

"y/n?" he mutters, shocked to see you. especially at a party like this, knowing how much you usually dislike them with everything in you.

"holy fuck." you reply, your voice slurred and intoxicated. "christopher owen."

YOU — fifteen minutes prior

"i don't even know what to do at a party." you complain as you examine at yourself in jasmin's mirror. she was right, you look stunning. but you don't look like you.

"we're not going to party." jasmin explains as though it's the simplest concept to understand. "we're going to make kade jealous, and then get super drunk so we're too hungover to face tonight's concequences in the morning."

she has to shout in order for you to hear her voice because she's in the bathroom, curling her hair. the bathroom door is cracked open, but yelling is still needed due to the party's music being louder than anything else.

you shrug even though she can't see you doing so. "well when you put it that way, it sounds like a lovely idea." you respond, also shouting.

"girl," jasmin says with an audible laugh, "all my ideas are lovely."

with that, she exits the bathroom. her dress is shiny and gold, contrasting beautifully against her dark skin. you watch through the mirror as she approaches you, her reflection standing directly behind your own as she begins to put on two chunky, gold earrings.

you're wearing a dress that's a bit shorter than you'd like, but jasmin claims that it's the longest one she owns. you keep pulling it down subconsciously, but it's riding up your thighs annoyingly. you're wearing shorts underneath, of course, because they make you feel less exposed by the lack of length the dress provides. jasmin also lent you a necklace, a few bracelets, and a pair of earrings to wear. the jewelry is all dainty and more jasmin's style than yours, but you couldn't deny how fucking gorgeous you looked.

"let's go!" jasmin says with a giddy smile, grabbing your hand as she pulls you toward the door. you laugh with your last remaining true friend, allowing her to drag you down toward the party. your guys' heels click against the wooden floorboards in the hallway, the sound making you laugh even harder.

jasmin doesn't even bother knocking on the door. the way you guys enter paxton's dorm unannounced makes you feel strange, until you're actually inside and realize that the arrival of two people means nothing in comparison to the amount of guests that are piled into the space.

for the first few minutes, you and jasmin walk around together, exploring. you've had a few drinks, but you're hardly feeling anything yet. you end up leaving jasmin when she starts flirting with a random girl on the dance floor, and you feel invasive to linger around with her.

now on your own, you head toward the kitchen for another drink seeing as you just finished your last one. it's kind of comforting to be in the kitchen because there aren't as many people crowding around you. it's easier to breathe on your own.

you find a cooler on the floor, wide open with ice overflowing the rim. wedged inside the ice are various alcoholic beverages to choose from. you think for a moment before bending to grab a jack daniels, deciding on something sweet rather than bitter. when you stand back up, you notice someone standing to your left. you nearly drop the drink in shock.

"god," you mutter with an airy laugh as you turn to face the person. but all traces of humor leave your face when you recognize the presumed stranger.

elaine's hair is beautifully curled, framing her pale face with elegance that makes you suddenly feel like your hair isn't done well enough. her icy blue eyes stare down at you with an expression you can't read — which pisses you off because you used to be able to read all of her emotions perfectly. but now it's like she's a complete stranger.

now feeling insecure in your own skin, you pull the hem of your dress down. elaine doesn't seem to notice, nor does she care how you feel at the moment.

"what?" you demand, clutching the bottle in your hand to ground yourself. "did you come in here just to stare at me, or what?"

"don't flatter yourself." she says bluntly, a tone she's never directed at you before. in all the years you'd known her, you guys have never gotten into a genuine argument. so it's incredibly weird to see her in this new light. "i came for a drink. and you're standing in front of the cooler."

you turn and notice that she's right. you're blocking her from reaching the cooler. you instantly feel embarrassed, but you're quick to hide it by crossing your arms and stepping to the side so she can get to the cooler.

you watch as she reaches for the strongest drink that's offered. typical. she wouldn't be elaine without being unapologetically herself.

"you might not have anything to say to me, but i have a lot i'd like to say to you." you tell her, keeping your voice level despite the way your hands tremble against your crossed arms.

"it can wait." she says, turning on her heel and exiting the kitchen without another word, her ash blonde hair swishing behind her with superiority.

"what the fuck?" you murmur, now alone in the kitchen.

your senses are suddenly overflowing with blinding rage. after years of being best friends, she sleeps with your boyfriend. and yet, she's the one avoiding you? there's no fucking way anything about this situation is logical. you're the one who's pissed, not her. she has no right to have walked away from you like that. you deserve an explanation. or at least a viable conversation.

you screw open your bottle and take a swig of the drink, deciding that you're going to need a whole lot more of this before your anger cools down enough for you to leave the kitchen. because if you were to leave now, you wouldn't trust yourself not to immediately go to elaine and start a fight that you're not sure you'd even win.

after about ten minutes of standing by the cooler, drinking away your anger, you decide to finally exit the kitchen. you leave the room, stumbling a bit as you do so. but you quickly turn back around, realizing that you left your phone on the countertop.

as you walk back into the kitchen, you bump into someone who's walking out of it. he quickly apologizes, seeming to be in quite a hurry. you decide not to look up at him, now being annoyed that someone even bumped into you. god, maybe drinking was a bad idea. now everything pisses you off, not just elaine and kade.

"y/n?" the guy mutters, sounding insanely shocked. you raise a brow before looking up to meet the man's eyes. you instantly begin smiling at the guy.

"holy fuck." you reply, your voice slurred and intoxicated. "christopher owen."

CHRIS

chris hasn't seen you since senior year of high school. and considering the fact that you guys are now in college, it has been quite a while since you've seen each other.

you guys weren't necessarily friends back then, but you knew one another well enough. you guys had math together for two years straight. you sat side-by-side, talking every day through the entire period. by the end of the year, chris had developed a crush on you, and you were completely oblivious to his feelings.

he had introduced you to his brothers and you'd hung out outside of school a few times. you spent the night at his house once or twice, when your home life wasn't the greatest. he had come over to yours a few times to study for upcoming tests.

you's met his parents, and mary lou absolutely adored you. she told you stories about her sons, including each of their middle names. following this encounter, you had begun calling chris by his full name — christopher owen. at first, you did it because you noticed how it annoyed him. but then, the name stuck. it became an inside joke between you and him, depicting a sense of intimacy in knowing his middle name. even more so since it was given to you from his mother herself.

but after graduation, you guys lost contact and haven't spoken since.

however, seeing you in front of him now, chris really wishes he had made more of an effort to stay in touch with you. you're just as gorgeous as he'd remembered, if not more so than before. your dress was incredibly flattering, and your hair was done up perfectly.

upon seeing you, he completely forgot everything that was previously plaguing his mind. he couldn't even form a sentence, leaving the two of you staring at each other wordlessly. he took on your appearance once more, suddenly coming to realize something about you.

"you're drunk, aren't you?" he says, not knowing whether or not to be surprised. on one hand, it's a college party and everyone is drunk. but on the other hand, you're you.

you were the most perfect girl he'd ever met, unaware that you were capable of having a single flaw. but as he looks at you now, completely plastered, he realizes that it's impossible for anyone to be flawless. even you. plus, there's something incredibly domestic, and human about seeing you like this. like it's illegal, like something is wrong.

"i think everyone's drunk, except you and your brothers." you tell him with a crooked grin that makes his heart begin to beat at an unhealthy speed. "plus, i deserve to drink after the day i've had."

it sounds like you're telling yourself that last bit more than you're telling it to chris. as though you're not even sure you believe it. he wants to question you, and ask what's wrong. but he decides not to. that'd be weird, wouldn't it? i mean, you guys haven't spoken in years.

"anyway," you say as your body sways from side to side, "i left my phone in the kitchen and i need to get it back before someone steals it. or even worse, before elaine steals it."

chris raises a brow at your odd behavior, but again decides not to point it out. you continue talking as if you can't help yourself. as if there's no off switch, keeping you from spilling too much. and even though you've begun to talk about random shit that means nothing, chris is listening to every single word intently.

"...but yeah, i think all alcohol should have screw on tops." you ramble, mindlessly. "if we could all simply unscrew the bottles without a problem, we wouldn't have to waste money on those shitty bottle openers. but- well, i mean, maybe that's the point. oh my god! maybe that's the reason they're made! so they can make even more money off the openers! even though we don't need to use them, and they don't need the money. it's still a profitable arrangement that they're more well off having created. oh, and-"

you keep talking and talking. and chris keeps listening and listening. the way you gesture around with your hands makes him happy, because you used to do the same thing back in high school. and the way your voice gets higher when you come to a realization is also a habit you've always had.

in the middle of your ranting, nick comes up to chris frantically. he doesn't seen to notice you as he steals chris's attention away.

"have you seen paxton?" nick asks his brother with an extremely worried expression on his face. "we were talking, and it was going good. great even. but then he left to grab a drink, and he hasn't come back. i'm scared i did something wrong to scare him away. it was going so well."

remembering his previous conversation with paxton, chris immediately is filled with guilt. nick looks so terrified of the fact that he fucked this up, not knowing chris is the one who ruined his chances.

"i saw him in the kitchen a little bit ago, but it's been a while." chris says. he's technically not lying. he did see paxton. he's simply leaving out a few details. sure, they're pretty significant details, but it doesn't hurt nick to not know. in fact, it probably would be worse if he did. he's helping them all, honestly.

"thanks," nick says hurriedly before patting chris on the shoulder and rushing into the kitchen behind them.

with nick gone, chris refocuses his attention on you. but he's taken by surprise when he sees that you're no longer in front of him. chris looks around, spinning in circles idiotically. but it's like you fucking vanished out of thin air.

YOU

you've missed nick. you haven't seen him in years. but judging by the anxiety-filled body language, you deemed that this was a brotherly conversation. quickly feeling out of place, you decided to take your leave and return to the search of your phone. but when you reach the counter it had perviously been abandoned at, you see that it's no longer there.

"there you are!" you hear someone say from behind you. the sickeningly familiar voice draws chills down your spine. even drunk, you could recognize kade's voice without having to turn around to see his face. hesitantly, you do turn around. kade is standing by the cooler, your phone held tightly in his hands.

"oh, you found it." you say casually, stepping over to your ex with an amount of false confidence that shocks even you. "i've been looking for my phone everywhere, thank you for returning it for me!"

kade clearly is taken aback by your nonchalance, making you feel extremely good about yourself. but when you reach to take your phone from him, kade holds it above his head. when you guys were dating, his height was endearing. you loved how much taller he was compared to you. but right now, it's really pissing you off.

"see, i was going to give it back." kade says, lowering the phone so it's now in front of his face. he begins to type in your password — which you haven't yet changed seeing as it all only happened this morning. "but i changed my mind."

"you're not fucking funny." you tell him. your voice comes out more emotional than you would have preferred, because now kade knows exactly how annoyed you are.

"hm," he hums, scrolling through your phone as though it were his own. "i think it is funny, to be honest. i mean, you should be thanking me. who knows who else could have found it? you wouldn't have wanted it to get in the wrong hands, would you?"

"it's too late for that." you say. "you're the worst hands for it to be in."

he laughs, audibly, at that. the sound makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. you want nothing more than to punch him in the fucking jaw.

it's so weird that your feelings could change so fast. this morning, you woke up and texted kade with enthusiasm. you guys kissed and cuddled so normally. similarly, you were hanging out with elaine at lunch today perfectly fine. but here you are now, with nothing but hatred for both of them.

"i saw you talking to that triplet guy," kade says, "i always get them mixed up. was that chris or matt? i think nick is the gay one. or is it chris who's gay? god. i can never keep them straight."

"why do you give a shit who i talk to?" you ask him, crossing your arms defiantly as kade continues to snoop through your phone with a straight face. "at least i didn't fuck your best friend while we were together."

this gets his attention.

"you know nothing about our relationship." kade tells you, an edge to his voice that would have scared you if you weren't so blinded by your anger. you watch as he tuts before turning off your phone and stuffing it into his back pocket.

"oh, so it's a relationship now?" you ask. if you weren't so drunk, you would have had the common sense to shut up and stop teasing. but your only goal at the moment is to get as far under his skin as possible. you want him to feel all the pain you felt this morning. "i thought you guys were just fuck buddies."

"i've known elaine longer than i've known you." kade snaps, taking a step closer to you. you back away, being forced to press yourself against the corner of the counter behind you. "she's the one who introduced us in the first place, you dumb fuck."

"yeah, and i'm eternally grateful for that." you say sarcastically, rolling your eyes with a light scoff.

"elaine has been my friend since middle school. we've been near door neighbors our entire lives." kade tells you, as though you weren't already made painfully aware of their intimate history together. "she means more to me than just sex."

again, anybody else would have been able to read the room by now. they would have stopped poking the bear and decided enough is enough. but you're far too inebriated for something so logical. so you continue to dig a deeper and deeper hole.

"yeah?" you question, tilting your head innocently. "you might want to make sure those feelings are requited. i saw her making out with ryan hart earlier."

you watch as kade's jaw ticks with irritation. the sight of him getting so worked up fills you with an inexplicable pleasure. you've been crying all morning over two people who betrayed you. and after arriving at the party, it's seemed like they don't even care about your pain. so yes, seeing kade get pissed off is extremely satisfying. and yes, you should have stopped there. but no, you didn't.

"she might mean the world to you, kade. but to her? you're just another quick fuck that she'll pretend never even happened come tomorrow."

this seems to have crossed a line.

before you even have time to register what's happening, you're scrambling to your feet with blood dripping from your nose. kade punched you square in the face.

now collecting yourself, you look up at kade with a scowl. but he's not there to meet you eyes. honestly, he's got it worse than you. he's currently on the floor, getting the shit beat out of him by none other than christopher owen.

chris must have seen what happened and decided to step in after you got hit.

and as immature as it sounds, you don't care stop him. you simply watch as chris tackles kade to the ground and punches him repeatedly. people are shouting at him to stop, but chris doesn't care. and nor do you. kade deserves this.

you suddenly hear someone yell your name from somewhere else in the kitchen. you look up and see matt. your guys' eyes meet, and he gives you a look that makes you feel guilty for not stopping the fight earlier.

"tell him to stop." he says wordlessly. "he'll only listen to you."

with a sigh, you end the fight with one single word. you say chris's name, and his entire body stops in an instant. it's as if you flicked a switch. he stands up, knuckles bloody, and turns to face you as the kitchen falls silent.

something you've come to like about college is the fact that people know to mind their business. they crowd around for the fight, sure. but as soon as the show is over, they leave as though nothing happened.

chris steps closer, so he's only an inch away from you now. he reaches around and pulls your dress up. you instinctively go to shove him away, but before you have the chance, he slides something into your back pocket, your guys's noses nearly touching as he does so. you feel the familiar weight of your phone in the pocket of your shorts before chris tugs your dress back down to cover them up.

"are you okay?" he asks, so quietly you nearly don't hear him.

you stare up at him, speechless. then, you glance down at his hands and decide to make a joke in order to ease some of the tension. "seems like your knuckles are in worse shape than my nose."

"you should see the other guy." chris says with a chuckle.

you crane your neck to look behind him. but kade is already gone. you're a bit disappointed that you weren't able to see the damage chris did, but you're sure everyone will be talking about it on monday when classes resume.

"let me do you a favor." you tell him, grabbing his bloody hand and holding it in both of yours. "since you did me one."

CHRIS

your favor wasn't what chris expected. when you took hold of his hand and pulled him upstairs, he thought you were going to kiss him or something. but you had other ideas — which he should have expected. from all the time he's known you, he should know better than to assume he knows what's going on inside your head. you're unpredictable. and he loves it. it's actually one of his favorite things about you.

"there should be a first aid kit under the sink." you mutter, dragging him into the bathroom and shutting the door behind you as if you were at your own house. "the code of conduct says you're required to have one under each sink in case of emergency."

"no way you actually read the fucking code of conduct." chris says with a laugh, sitting down on the closed toilet seat. he watches you with a gentle smile splayed softly across his lips.

"of course not." you say without looking at him, crouching in front of the sink and beginning to dig through the cabinet. "jasmin's roommate did, though. i've never formally met her, but jaz complains about how strict she is with rules and shit."

"right," chris says.

he's hardly listening to you, though. as much as he would love to involve himself in a conversation with you — no matter the subject — he's distracted. you look so fucking gorgeous right now, and he can't tear his eyes away. it's becoming a genuine problem. he's not only focused on your appearance, though. just the sound of your voice is enough to take his attention away from the words you speak.

it's been so long since he's seen you, and he's just trying to relish in the escapism that your presence offers.

"-- might hurt." is all he hears when he zones back in. and he doesn't have any time to think before you press disinfectant to his knuckles. the medicine against the open wound causes him to suck in a sharp breath. you watch the pained expression on his face, and you frown. "focus on something else. you have nine more knuckles to work with."

as soon as you tell him to focus on something else, his mind instantly goes to you. he pins his eyes to yours, and you return the favor. you continue to hold the eye contact as you move to the next wound. he clenches his jaw, but the pain is much more bearable this time round.

this goes on for about a minute or two. you guys stare at one another as his knuckles are slowly getting the attention they need.

this thing is, kade had piercings. and every time chris's fist wound come in contact with his nose stud or his lip ring, it would puncture his skin — creating the jagged injuries that you're treating so delicately, now.

"done," you say with a wide grin. the sight of you looking at him with a proud smile makes the stinging pain from the gauze worth every second. chris watches as you shut the first-aid-kit and place it back where you'd found it. as you stand back up, he looks down at his battered hands.

you did a great job, that much was inevitable. when you dragged him up here, they were bleeding and throbbing. but now they're numbed, and the band-aid you pressed across the hills of his knuckles are keeping them from bleeding. suddenly, chris remembers something.

"c'mere." he tells you. you look at him with a confused expression, raising an eyebrow at his sudden assertiveness. he instantly feels guilty, and quickly apologizes. "sorry, i didn't mean to snap like that. i just want to check your nose. make sure it's not broken or anything."

you let out an airy chuckle, "you don't need to do that. i'm fine."

"i insist." chris presses on, standing from the toilet seat and taking a daring step closer to you. he hears your breath hitch, and a smile tugs at his lips. "it's the least i could do after you patched me up like humpty dumpty."

you laugh at this, a bright smile lighting the dimmed bathroom as your eyes squint with joy. chris wishes he could bottle this moment up and replay it whenever he pleases.

"okay, okay," you say as your laughter dies down, "you can check my nose."

you move to sit on the toilet seat he had just recently occupied. chris doesn't crouch in front of you the way you did to him, though. he stands before you, his legs placed between your knees. he grabs you jaw, gently as ever, and tips your head up. he uses his free hand to graze your nose, feeling the damage. or lack thereof.

"yeah," his voice is so quiet you strain to hear it, "yeah, you were right. it's not broken."

despite the initial concern now being solved, neither of you attempt to move from your position. chris continues to hold your chin upward, and you continue to stare at him through your lashes. his thigh knocks against your knee, but again, neither of you aim to change anything about this moment — both of you being too afraid to lose whatever chemistry is going on.

suddenly, there's a loud banging at the door. "hurry the fuck up! some of us have to take a shit! oh my god!"

chris gets annoyed by the interruption, tempted to exit the bathroom and hurt whoever just ruined the moment. that way, his knuckles would be bloody again and you'd help him again. yeah, that sounds like a good idea to him. but just as the anger settles into his mind like a bird nesting, something rips his attention away.

you burst out in a fit of laughter. chris whips his head in your direction, desperate to watch the adorable scrunch of your nose, and the light reflect in your eyes. still laughing, you stand from the toilet and wipe at your eyes. you urge chris forward, saying it's a good idea to leave seeing as you guys have been hogging the bathroom for a while.

chris happily obliges. honestly, he would agree with anything you'd say right now. he would do anything for you, simply in the hopes that you'd glance at him for a moment as he does so.

as you both exit the bathroom and return downstairs, chris notices you stumble a bit. then it clicks in his head — you're still a bit drunk. sure, the fight may have sobered you up a great deal, but it's not instantaneous. the alcohol is still in your system, and it's still altering your actions in a slight bit.

this would explain why you're so giggly, and why your cheeks are so rosy. and for a moment. for an awful, awful moment, chris wonders if that's the only reason why you're even hanging around him in the first place.

"let me walk you back to your dorm," chris offers.

"you don't have to do that." you insist, staring up at him with wild eyes and tangled hair that he finds incredibly endearing.

"tell me where your dorm is, and i'll decide that for myself." chris says. "how about this. if you're in this building, i'll let you walk home alone. but if you're in the west wing, you have to let me take you back."

you groan with a laugh, tipping your head back as you do so. "i'm in the west wing."

"great," chris says with a smile, "let me take you home. again, it's the least i could do after everything you've done for me."

"you already made it up to me by checking my nose." you point out, tapping the bridge of your nose to prove your point. "you don't need to escort me home, i'm sure i'll be okay."

"i'm not just talking about the fight." chris says. "you've been great to me since high school."

"oh,"

YOU

the only reason you don't want chris to walk you back to your dorm is because of elaine. she's an incredible manipulator, and will talk shit about you at any chance she gets. especially if she sees you with a new boy. and you're honestly scared that chris might believe her.

but when chris brought up your guys's past, something in your gut ached. you felt an urge to hug him, and confide in him, and simply just exist with him by your side.

it's probably because you no longer feel like you have anyone to confide in. you lost your boyfriend and your best friend in the same day, and you feel bad about complaining to jasmin because she'd going through the same thing. she lost elaine today, too, and it's not fair for you to whine about it when she's probably just as upset as you are.

"thank you," you say as you and chris approach your dorm.

you guys talked the entire way there. well, more like you talked while he listened. you felt bad for speaking without giving him a chance to respond, but he insisted that he doesn't mind. and plus, you're only talking so much due to your nerves.

what if elaine tells him something bad about you, and it makes chris hate you too? what if she sleeps with him the way she did with kade? well, you and chris aren't a thing, so that wouldn't bother you. well. it shouldn't. but it does. the image of him and her? it's- ugh, it's fucking unbearable. and you have no reason to feel that way, since you guys aren't dating. i mean, he could have a girlfriend, and you wouldn't know.

"of course," chris replies as though he was doing something unquestionable.

you stand there for a second, waiting for him to leave. but he doesn't. he's waiting for you to let him in. but. god, you can't do that. what if elaine is in there? finally, you decide to bite the bullet. you fumble with your keys and unlock the door, holding it open for him to enter through.

chris thanks you quickly, walking into your and elaine's shared dorm room. it's decorated to be cozy and warm — a theme that the two of your agreed would make it homier. you love the interior designing, and it makes you happy. but now, you can't think about anything except the image of kade on top of elaine. on your guys's shared couch.

you enter after chris, not turning to facet before you lock the door with the key and stuff it into your pocket. but when you finally turn around, you instantly run into his backside. you side step, wondering what made him stop walking so abruptly. then, you see-

oh.

of fucking course.

kade is sitting on the beige-colored couch with a packs of ice pressed to his face in various spots. while elaine straddles his lap, holding the ice for him as she speaks in gentle, soothing tones. they don't seem to notice you and chris at first, seeming to be too busy flirting with one another. but this could just be an act. perhaps they're trying to look unbothered. and if so, it's working.

elaine leans forward and kisses kade passionately. it lasts long enough that you begin to feel uncomfortable. you turn to chris with a forced smile, "well. thanks for walking me back."

he looks at you with a worried expression, seeing directly through your facade. he knows you and elaine were best friends — your entire high school knew you guys to be the perfect duo. inseparable. and he also knows that kade is a dick. you're not sure if he's aware that you guys dated, but chris definitely hates his guts now, after what happened at the party.

"you can stay with me and my brothers tonight, if you want." chris offers. "we talked the school into giving us a huge dorm so the three of us could share. but it's bigger than we expected, so we have tons of room for you if you don't want to stay here for the night. and none of us would blame you, by the way."

he gives elaine and kade a side-glance. the glare that chris shoots them would likely have been deadly if they were to have looked up at him. but they're too busy with each other to even notice his eyes on them.

"i couldn't ask you to do that," you say with another forced smile, "i'll be fine for the night. you've done more than enough."

chris looks like he wants to protest against this, but he shuts his mouth and decides not to. he nods, agreeing with your decision. "i'm not going to force you, but the offer remains. even if you change your mind in the middle of the night, i'll let you in without any questions."

you smile at this. genuinely. chris has been so insanely kind to you, and you simply don't understand what you've done to deserve it. yeah, you guys were friends a few years back. but chris is being so generous.

overcome with emotion, you wrap your arms around his neck. you hug him tightly, and he hugs you back. you bury your head in the crook of his collarbone, and squeeze him as though you would break without him there to hold you together. like a vase that needs tape to stay standing.

when you finally let go, you're forced to wipe at your eyes to refrain from crying. that would be insanely embarrassing, so you refuse to let any tears fall. you're sure chris wouldn't mind, but you would. you'd rather die than let him see you sob over your ex best friend and kade. ugh. even his name makes your throat close up.

"this is so insensitive." elaine says, causing you and chris to both turn your heads in her direction. you'd forgotten about her. well, that's a complete lie. but you'd like to believe it.

she's still sitting on kade's lap, but they're no longer making out shamelessly. her arms are draped across his shoulders, and his hands are under her shirt, but it's better than before, at least.

"y'know that's the prick who did this to kade, don't you?" elaine asks, directing her question to you.

"i'm aware." you reply, keeping your voice as level as possible. the feeling of having chris behind you makes you feel ten times as more confident, knowing he'd back you up against kade. you don't feel small against her anymore like you did at the party. it's nice. having someone on your side as well. it's not 2 v 1 any longer.

"then why the fuck is he even here? it's not his dorm." kade asks with a scoff and an eye roll, as though the scoff wasn't enough. you feel as chris's posture straightens behind you, and you give him a side glance that only the two of you could notice. he understands, and instantly relaxes — knowing that this is your problem, not his.

"i was there when the fight happened." you tell her, ignoring kade's attempt to piss chris off. "where were you, elaine? having sex with damien? oh, or was it vance? sorry. i can't keep up."

elaine looks like she could explode with rage, her face turning red as her teeth clenching together. it's a sight that you'd love to relish in, but you learned your lesson earlier today. sometimes it's best not to add on more and more. that's asking for a fight.

so you simply give her a final smile, turning to chris. you give him an apologetic look before standing on your toes and pressing your lips to his.

the kiss was an attempt to make elaine and kade annoyed, but you find yourself genuinely enjoying it. you snake your arms behind chris's neck, and he places his hands on your waist, holding your firmly against him. time seems to slow around you guys, as if the universe had been waiting for this moment for as long as you were. it no longer matters who's in the room. you only care about chris.

"i'm so sorry," you whisper against his lips between kisses, "just go with it."

"don't you dare apologize for this." he says. you feel his grip on your waist tighten, and you smile against him, returning to the kiss with an entirely different intention.

before, it was just to piss off your two nemesis. but now, you're doing it for your own enjoyment. because you actually want to. because you actually have feelings for chris. well. you think? you never saw him as a crush before this. but now, you're not sure you'll ever be able to look at him in the same light.

christopher owen. your christopher owen.

@kasqnxx @lvrsparadise @prettysturniolo @strniolo @urmyslxt @cupidsturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @thetriplets3 @sturn1olo-ffics @uhnanix @deadxrx @kitaysworld @lovelysturniolo @wilmalovegood @ladylokilaufeyson5 @sturniolopepsi @strnilolo @knowingnothingnoel @its-jennarose @lea0518 @slaysturniolo @sturnlover @tcvazq @ifilwtmfc @poopydroopt @cl0esblogg @ellaynaa @itzdarling

[sea-of-dust]

MAKOTO YUKI x GN! Reader

Summary: Dating headcannons

N: I had this just rotting bro posting this with the event. Ik u don't read these angst jumpscare. Also DO NOT listen to Malice Mizer OR SWEET (p5) while reading fanfic or headcannons for this guy you'll cry 7 times

Hm? Is something your gonna hear alot. He notices everything. Sometimes he purposely doesn't push you to tell him, other times he's told by Yukari.

He knows when your troubled, you can tell when he knows what's going on as he tends to get a bit closer before going "hm?" You notice when he's trying to comfort you. Trying to be sneaky just makes it more obvious, it's even more odvious when he sneaks snacks to you near your door, like he isn't the first suspect.

"?" He lays his head on your shoulder slowly inching closer. "You look like you're fuming. Did something happen?" "Nothing much just a headache" "I see" you never feel his arms wrapped around while you as you stood next to him, soft hums comming from him.

Makoto tries to hide his affections in public. Limiting it to hand holding or subtle matching things you both had on your person. The fewer people the higher the chance of him taking a small snooze on your shoulder, you end up giving him piggybacks when he does this.

He let's you listen to music with him. At the cost of a small tease. "I wanna listen aswell..." You look away clearly flustered to ask this "and why would my dove want that?" "HUH" you look at him wide eyed seeing him smirk "BRO" "? I thought I was your boyfriend" and back to the straight faced s.e.e.s boy. This was his way of flustering you, calling you a random nickname and then acting like nothing happened, you always reset back to bro when he does this making it even better for him.

He wanders...alot. This guy would get lost in a supermarket and be like "oh I lost them..." and then find you calmly while you'd just panic about where he was. He always appears from nowhere when this happens. "I've looked everywhere jimpei I'm considering going into the fountain..." "you walk so fast" he burries himself into the nape of your neck, "I almost lost you again" you were so lucky jimpei was on the phone and not in person or you two would have never stopped getting teased when you got to school

If you ever wondered about s.e.e.s or ever wondered why he was always so tired, he'd act like he didn't hear you. "So what's s.e.e.s, heard it had something to do with some sorta time thing?" He'd be right next to you. You saw him peak up and just go back to staring into the void seconds later. "I know you heard me" you furrow your brows slightly but he just lays there for a bit moves his hair and then goes "huh?" "UGHHH" you're not getting him to budge

That would be the case if you didn't have a persona he'd still try to pretend he didn't know until you saved him from a few shadows. "How did you get knocked down by wind of all things imagine I blow and you and you get stunned" your persona deals with them easily while you help him up. "So what is this place my princess, my shawty bae, my-" "please...shut up" "nah baby girl you brought this on yourself" he sighs but he did enjoy the free piggy back ride so he pretended the wind hit him THAT hard.

"You're still carrying him around" Yukari cringes "he can barely keep his eyes open tho" "oh he'll live watch this" Yukari turns around "we're gonna go get a sna-" "don't say it infront of jimpei unspelled" he groans nuzzling back into your neck "told ya, get him off your back" easier said than done the guys like those theme park bracelets you'll never get him off. "Yukari let go of me" his voice a bit annoyed "no chance! Come on you gotta walk like the rest of us think of y/ns back!" You got him to walk...but he had to hold your hand and would almost drift off again if you haven't move away everytime you noticed. "Please try to stay awake were almost done" "...." You catch his head "don't lean on me, how about this you can rest once we get back to my room" he suddenly has enough energy to walk without leaning on you.

He loves whenever he goes to your dorm. It always feels so calm in there like some sorta checkpoint. Sometimes he gets there before you already laying there like it was his own room. "Welcome home" "oh minato- wait...howed you get in" "you left the door unlocked" "oh" he tries to use the 'just wanted to study with you excuse' nah the dudes there for every kind of sfw romantic thing you can think of. He's there to be called lover boy unironcally! "Funny how you aren't as sleepy during the night" you move closer to him "you're nocturnal" you joke playfully giving him a small kiss on the cheek. In actuality he had eaten a bunch of candy so he could stay awake with you.

Take him with you everywhere!! If you'd e-mail him about anything related to heading out you don't even have to invite him he'd just magically appear. You don't even have to say WHERE you're going. "How do you always know where I am?" "This place is small"

He'd know what your into without you telling him almost sniffing it out. "I thought you'd like this" he hands you a small gift watching you blush immensely. "Howed you know I liked this kinda stuff" "I figure stuff out quickly" he did have hints though. The way you acted the way you looked at things simular to it. it made it odvious you'd like one of those.

He hides when he's sick always trying to hold back coughs or sneezes he suffers in silence and would prefer it that way. Why? Because the first time he was sick infront of you or anyone else no one wanted to be around him incase it spread. You were willing to of course until Mitsuru put a ban on seeing him for the sake of everyone's health, you still got tests to deal with ya know! So now he just hides it trying to recover quickly. Can't say the same for you though "cough cough! Ah sorry I've had a really bad cold lately" all he needed to hear to have you carried back to your dorm after school. "When we're you able to manhandle me" "please take this" he hands you a small medicine cap expecting you to drink it from there. "It's just a cold" "colds don't have you coughing yourself into orbit for it to just be a casual one" sighing you gulp it down

He'll pretend to not know how to put on his ribbon and ask if you're able to help him. Then turn around pull it off and look at you with a "can you do it again" face. He just likes the way you tie it while you're on the train with him.

Fastest Emailer EVER. You'd think it would take him litteral years since he sometimes leaves people out to dry, according to jinpei, and then he'd respond at the speed of sound to you nearly as fast as the email sends.

You try to pitch his cheeks only to get him to revert to an angry cat. So you've resorted to softer smaller pinches, he dosent mind as much now just don't too it too often or he'll start pinching you too

He may like using yarn with you. Depends on how easy it is though. "What are you making?" "A heart bracelet a girl asked me to make for her and her boyfriend" he reaches for your hand "do you mind if I try this?" "Sure it's in the left drawer" he could barely make the heart at first but as soon as you got a clipboard involved it was a whole diffent story, he was a machine, you didn't know this at the time but you definitely accidently made a yarn bracelet monster. Must have found out they can be made into sp items. That's why there's a lock on the left drawer now, he never opened it without asking its just to keep him from getting ideas, it does the opposite

He has his flirtatious momments, mostly just because he wants to tease you. It starts with a perfectly silent momment, in the classroom when they finally let you sit with him, nearly asleep in a library, on very rare occasions tartarus, he'd smirk and then lock in for the absolute chaos he's about to cause. A simple lean into your ear whispering softly yet clearly "I want a kiss" your eyes would always widen but you'd also respond with a whisper back "now?" Clearly slightly baffled you kiss him on the cheek quickly. Oh but sometimes that isn't enough, sometimes he just wants to see you melt, rubbing his hand on your already flushed cheek he leans in drowsy eyes meeting yours "I want a bit more please" he does enjoy you cupping his face and kissing him. When he does stuff like that you thank the lord the sees memmbers split up or you two are pretty much alone together.

There are times he's tempted to kiss you and then act like he didn't do anything. Cheeks are his favorite you can barely see him comming,*chu*, and now he gets to tease you make you think he never did such a thing "stop kissing me while i study" "wadya mean" "you gotta study focus on that" "i wanna focus on you more" "huh?" Another quick kiss "you did it again" "i dunno what youre talking about" exhaling you kiss him under the eye "lets get back to studying before it gets too late" and then hed lean onto your shoulder. He wants you to catch him more often

"I bought a camera! Let's take a few snaps, just the two of us!, "I don't see why not" holding the camrea steady, you take a picture of the shell he found. *SNAP* a picture of him looking out on the beach. *SNAP* "Why are you taking so many of me?" "I want you to last forever" putting the camrea down and walking toward him, he reaches his hand out. "Oh sure" you give it to him and he holds it up, making sure you're both in frame. *SNAP* a picture with both of you smiling as the sun sets on the beach. Softly looking at your features, his eyes land on ur lips, then cheek, eyes, then back to your cheek again. Smiling to himself, he holds it up again "you mind if we take another?" "Alright" *SNAP* soft lips press your cheek the momment the camera flashes. "You mind if I get another, the picture might be a bit blurry" with a rare smile on his face he pockets the picture. You covering the cheek he had just kissed. "Sure..." still surprised you lean into him smiling as the shyness gets to you. *SNAP* another kiss, happy with the photo he turns to you. "Do you have any plans after this?" "No it's straight to the dorm for me" "perfect" "?"

As you two walk home after changing clothes, he seemed to be more bright than usual as you wondered why, you were happy you got to see him smile like that. "I have something for you" "really? Me too!" "I'll meet you in your room then" hugging you before he leaves to his room to pick up your gift you collect what you had gotten for him, a DVD, a small bag with candies, and a rare jack frost you had won that you've customized to look like him. As soon as he opens the door you try to hide your gifts behind your back. "I can see them" "No you cant" softly giggling to himself he closed the door and gave you a case with a small bag with it. "Well since you've already seen then" you slide over the minato frost with the other things on its lap. "I saw someone do it on the internet and wanted to make one of you..." averting his eyes afraid he may not like it. He grabs its hands, then it's crocheted hair "it looks just like me" he pulls its cheeks. "And this is what I got for you" giving you the case and small bag. You decide to open the case first. Inside was a pair of headphones and a music player the same model as his. "How'd you know I wanted one?" "You eye mine alot, so I just figured" without much thought, you kissed his cheek "I don't know if I could put into words how thankful I am" You kiss him again. Excitedly, you open the small bag, revealing a bunch of stickers. "I wanted to decorate this with you if you don't mind" "I don't see why not" you excitedly put the sticker on his face then the case almost 5 stickers later his face again. "You look so cute with them all over you" "right back at you" giggling at his joke, you cover the player carefully in stickers with him. He even showed you how he put his music onto them.

Eventually what nearly always happens when he's in your room happens, his soft eyes flutter shut while laying on your bed the frost that looks just like him in hand. *SNAP* *SNAP* the opportunity was just too good to pass up, one for you and one for him to wake up to. You lay next to him moving his hair as to see both eyes. "Sweet dreams" your eyes grow heavy as they close. Days were sweet after that though you did notice him being a bit more busy, you didn't even notice when January ended, and he was nowhere to be seen. You asked most of the people you knew that spoke to him but they just ended up near teary eyed or near unable to say a word about it. "He's in a coma" Jinpei finally is able to croak out, "we don't know what happened to him" you feel your heart drop at his words, near running to the hospital after school and laying by his side. He looked so peaceful, you'd wonder what he was experiencing. Holding his hand for what seemed like it could be the final time you left, it felt a bit scary walking home without him with you.

You put on the music player he gave you, all covered in stickers he helped you put on. "Burn my dread...full moon full life...memmories of-" you hault finding yourself at the dorm, you go in, putting your hands in your pocket, reminding you of him, accidently touching his spare key he gave you, your mind suddenly asked you to go into his room. It felt like snooping, but the thought just wouldn't let you go. Opening the door, you find something on his desk, a letter along with a few pictures. "I may have forgotten to ask someone to give this to you, but I hope it someday reaches you, I'm writing this just in case something bad happens to me, I'm gonna miss seeing you when I wake up and waking up before you. All those candies I ate from you because I wanted to stay up late, all the times I've gotten free piggyback rides around town. I'm gonna miss you above all. I'm sorry I took your camera" getting to that part you look at the pictures on the desk one of him sleeping with the frost you made him, one of you trying on his sees uniform. "To be fair you already seen most of them, I just thought that if anything happened you'd want some of me" scattering them multiple pictures of him trying on your accessories, pictures of him smiling widely at your favorite places, pictures of him trying diffrent hairstyles. "I've bought a replacement film in advance, if you need to you can take my jacket and the mako-frost. They'll keep you warm" You look at more pictures, pictures of you and him, the kiss at the beach, you napping on him, a picture of you crocheting. "If push comes to shove, don't forget about me, keep living on, Makoto ps: thanks for letting me get this close to you"

[ikigaisvt]

lucky

in which your boyfriend realizes how lucky he is to have you.

pairing: idol!jeonghan x gender neutral!reader words: 1.6k content: fluff, comfort warnings: jeonghan is exhausted/sad and he cries, petnames (for jeonghan: angel, babe, baby, love / for reader: precious), mention of food and eating. note 1.0: omg sammy posting smth?!?? thought we'd never see that again,,, felt like writing fluff lately since i feel there's a Lot of smut for seventeen so here i am feeding my own wishes note 2.0: this idea came after seeing the last inside seventeen where jeonghan looked tired at the end (and it's so unusual of him, to show how tough something is). also felt awful yesterday night, and instead of being comforted by him, i wished to comfort him. minors are allowed to interact but please don't follow. hope everyone likes it, please be nice i haven't wrote anything in month,, reblog/feedbacks are always appreciated!

Jeonghan has always felt lucky to be an idol. Of course, as any job does, it has its downsides – and this one has a lot, despite what he can say. He never once complained about his job, no matter what can happen. Being able to share his love for music to his fans, his brothers by his side is the biggest blessing of his life. That is well known to his family, his fans but mostly you, his partner, who hears him pours his heart out about his job until dawn.

However, there are days when it is harder than usual; days where practice or filming is so hard, he wishes to go home and sleep the worries away; days where he questions if he actually was made for that job. Today, that came in the form of a hard practice. What maybe Jeonghan hasn’t realized yet is how lucky he is to have you, especially at the end of a tough day.

 You haven’t seen your boyfriend a lot lately as he was busier than usual; preparing for his new comeback as well as going overseas to film content. However, as he has been back from Hungary a few days ago, you knew you’d be able to see him again today. You spent hours cleaning your apartment, cooking his favorite meals and stocking up on his favorite drinks, picking shows and music to listen to so you could spend the night talking, catching up together and laughing at the new memories he made. You were looking forward to it, but most importantly, you were looking forward to seeing him again. To feel his presence, to hear his voice and laugh and to be able to touch him. Oh, how much you missed him.

As you finished preparing everything for him, you were lounging on your couch, the TV playing quietly in the background. Looking at the hour on your phone, you realized it was almost 11pm – which meant you were only minutes away from seeing your boyfriend. Getting up from the couch, you went to the kitchen to warm up his meal. You started pulling out different plates – jajagmyeon, tangsuyuk, kimchi pancakes and tteokbokki. "Okay, maybe I made too much this time, but I just want him to eat well," you think out loud. While you were filling smaller plates with side dishes, you heard the door opening, signaling that your boyfriend was finally home. Leaving the food behind, you left the kitchen to find your boyfriend – disheveled, hair picking out in all ways and tiredness showing on his face, struggling to get his shoes off.

“Jeonghan,” you call out to him softly, his head lifting up to find your eyes. And that’s when you realize how tired he really is. His smile is meekly showing up, his hair looks like he ran his hand through it multiple times – which is something he does when he is frustrated, dark circles are showing under his eyes but mostly, his eyes look sad, the usual playful lightness in them gone. “Are you okay?” you ask, your hand reaching out to him to let him know he is not alone.

“I-” he starts, his voice breaking a little bit, before clearing his throat, “I’m okay, I just can’t seem to get my shoes off.” he says, bending once again to work on the shoelaces.

You watch him for only a few seconds before sitting on the little step in your entryway, “Here, let me help you,” you say, gently tapping the floor in front of you, silently telling him to put his feet forward as you chase his fingers away.

“Babe, no-” he starts protesting, his fingers brushing with yours, trying to untie the knot faster.

“Shh,” you say calmly, getting a hold of his fingers, squeezing and letting go to work on the knots again, his feet slightly moving towards you, “You really tightened those well. That’s good, don’t want you falling down on your shoelaces during practice.” You say lightly, trying to make your boyfriend lighten up. You get his first shoe off, placing it gently next to yours, before working on the second one. As you were almost done with the second knot, you feel something wet falling on your hand, and you look up to see Jeonghan looking down at you, eyes filled with tears.

“Hey, hey, hey,” you say, getting a hold of his hand, “You’re okay, it’s fine,” you reassure him, squeezing his fingers tighter as he looks away from you, ears slightly red from the embarrassment of crying in front of you, his girlfriend. That’s such a Jeonghan thing, you tell yourself, “Let me get this one off and then we’ll get you to the couch, okay?” you tell him, earning a little nod as an answer. You get his second shoe off in record time and gently get up from the ground as you reach out for his hand, pulling him behind you as you lead him to the living room.

Reaching the couch, you make him sit down first before sitting down next to him, pulling your linked hands on your lap, your thumb slightly caressing his hand, “Are you okay?” you ask gently, trying to find his eyes but all he does is look down at his lap.

“I’m okay- Sorry about all this, practice was hard and I know you were excited about having a good time but stuffs happened and yeah-” he starts ranting as you listen intently to whatever he has to say, “Ah, sorry again. I’m rambling. I’m okay,” he says again, almost as he tries to convince himself, too, “Really.” He confirms as he meets your eyes, his smile not even reaching his cheeks.

“Love, you may be able to lie to your members but this doesn’t work with me,” you chuckle slightly, “What can I do?”

“I-” he starts, blush creeping on his neck again, his eyes looking around the room, “Will you hold me?” he whispers, hoping you heard him right as he finds your eyes again.

“Of course, angel,” you say as you lean back on the couch, opening your arms for him, his head finding a place to rest on your chest, “Let’s just stay like that for a little while, hm?” you whisper as you start running your fingers through his hair, “You can tell me anything, in case you need to pour it out.”

A few minutes passes by where you can only hear his soft breath – and little sniffles, his body slightly relaxing into yours as if it realizes it’s now finally home. “Practice was so hard today,” he says softly, his arm squeezing your waist a little more, your shirt getting wet with more tears, “That new choreography requires so much attention to details and we need to keep our energy up throughout all of it. I guess I wasn’t prepared to put that much work in it today.” He sighs as you let him know you’re still listening through little hums, “And we’ve just been back from Hungary, my body is still used to that time zone so I have a hard time sleeping. Also, I’ve missed you so I haven’t been able to recharge my batteries at all.” He admits, knowing he would have felt better if he saw you more in the past month.

“I’ve missed you too,” you tell him, leaving a little kiss on the top of his head.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, “For my mood and for ruining tonight.” He says softly, as more tears fall down.

“Baby, angel,” you say, your voice almost breaking to seeing your boyfriend like this, “Please don’t ever be sorry. Your job is not easy, you’re doing so much at all times and you do it well. It’s only normal for you to break down from time to time,” you whisper, running your fingers down his back, “I am so glad you decided to still come to me. It means the world. Please always come to me,” you tell him as he looks up at you, “Anytime you break down, I’ll help you build yourself up stronger, okay? You didn’t ruin anything, you’ll never do so. Your presence is always welcomed, no matter your mood. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, precious.” He says, as he gets up a little to meet your lips. You can taste the sadness – and the saltiness of his tears – on his lips as you take it away from him, take everything bad away from him, lodging it deep in your own body. So it can never hurt him again. You kiss once, you kiss twice, you kiss thrice; you kiss until there is no more sadness within him. You kiss until he can feel how you will always be here for him.

“Feeling better?” you question as you pull away from his lips, brushing hair out of his face and meeting his now shining eyes.

“Very much so,” he chuckles lightly, his forehead resting on yours, “Thank you,” he says, leaving a kiss on your forehead before finding rest on your shoulder.

“Wanna eat now?” you ask, still running your fingers along his back.

“Yes actually,” he says, looking up at you, “I’m so hungry,” he says in a whisper, still making no attempt to move away from you.

 “I made so much, I hope you’ll love it,” you answer him, still not getting up either.

“Let’s just- Let’s just stay like this for a little longer, hm?” he tells you, wrapping his arms around your middle, cuddling even closer – if that’s even possible, “Food can wait.”

Jeonghan truly feels lucky to be an idol – on most days, at least. But if he had to mention one thing, he feels the luckiest about – it’s to be your boyfriend.

aaaaa thank you so much for reading! i forgot how nervewracking it was to post something- please like, reblog, comment and i'll love you forever!!

[soapsilly]

My Kind of Woman - Roronoa Zoro Imagine

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Summary: Zoro being love drunk - and also a little drunk drunk - for (Y/N). A short story inspired by Mac DeMarco - My Kind Of Woman.

Requests are closed

************************************************************************

It was late... or rather early? Did it really count as the next morning when you never even went to sleep? There weren't very many people left - most of them had already gone home or were passed out. Nothing unusual for the feasts the Straw Hats would have regularly after a big fight. The huge bonfire had gone out hours ago but there embers still glimmered red and hot. Somewhere, Brook was still playing a song on his guitar. It was slow and almost sultry.

Zoro was more than a little buzzed as he watched (Y/N) drunkenly sway to the music. He was mesmerized by her. The way her hips moved to the music so perfectly. Her eyes were closed as she listened to the tunes, a small smile present on her face. He knew she was dancing for herself only, not to impress any of those men that were there this evening, not even for him. That didn't stop the swordsman from still watching the woman intently though. Zoro sometimes couldn't believe the effect she had on him. All the little nicknames, the nights they spent together, small kisses and hidden touches. It was all so foreign to Zoro but strangely he didn't mind at all.

"Here", she pushed something in his hands.

"What's this?", he blinked a few times.

"My wanted poster. It has a picture of me on it... It'll last longer", she winked at him.

The swordsman grinned stupidly as he unfolded the paper in his hands.

He took another swig of his drink, letting the taste linger in his mouth, watching the way her arms snacked themselves around herself in a soothing hug, a bottle of liquor dangling in her hands. He wasn't a dancer but his mind almost automatically imagined himself in her arms, swaying to the music. Oh, the things she did to him...

She was everything for him. How could a woman like her ever stay with a guy like him? He was stubborn. A brute. Not romantic in the slightest. And yet she was always by his side, making sure he ate, slept, rested. That shitty cook liked to remind Zoro that she was too good for him every chance he got - any maybe he was right - but as long as she would have him he'd do everything for her.

"Are you serious? You need to rest! Your wounds haven't even healed properly and here you are training again already! I'm not gonna stay and watch you kill yourself"

"Leave then, I never asked you to be here anyways", Zoro regretted the words as soon as they left his lips.

"You're an idiot, do you know that?", she told him before leaving the room.

He was sure he had permanently fucked things up with her this time, kicking himself over it, but in the evening (Y/N) came up to him.

"You shouldn't talk to me this way"

"I'm sorry", he meant it. He really did. He expected her to tell him to get lost, to not talk to her again but instead she hugged him. He didn't understand why she stuck right next to him, but he didn't dare to vocalize his thoughts, afraid of putting ideas in her head.

As if under a spell, he made his way over to her. He would blame the alcohol in the morning but he knew it was her that had this intoxicating effect on him. He knew the guys would tease him for his public display of affection but he didn't care. All he cared about right now was (Y/N). When he hugged her from behind, she didn't even hesitate as she turned around nuzzling her face in the nape of his neck.

"Didn't take you for a dancer"

"Couldn't help myself "

For a moment the two of them just stood there, swaying to the music, enjoying each others company.

"'M tired...", she mumbled into his shoulder.

"Want me to bring you back to the Sunny?", he leaned down, his lips brushing against her ear as he spoke.

"Only if you join me"

She didn't have to ask twice as he easily scooped her into his arms to carry her back to the Sunny. He'd never understand how he deserved a woman like her. He never was the romantic type but with her it was different. She was his kind of woman.

[wwinterwitch]

the film (eddie munson x fem!reader)

summary: after finding a very interesting movie in eddie's trailer, you can't help but point out a very important detail...you and the girl on the tv look exactly alike.

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 4,678

requested?: yes

warnings/what to expect: SMUT (18+ MDNI), bestfriend!eddie, descriptions of a porn video, reader has glasses, teasing, kissing, dry humping, dirty talk, glasses kink i guess, oral (m receiving), cum swallowing, facial (yk), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, protected sex (yay!), praise, daddy kink, also gif's not mine

a reblog and/or comment on my posts really help me out as a content creator so thank you in advance if you take the time to do either!

main masterlist | stranger things masterlist

Like any other Friday night you found yourself laying in Eddie's bed, listening to him compose new music for his band. The scene has to be the best way to end the week. Watching Eddie play his guitar, half of his hair up in a bun while half fell loosely to his shoulders, the short sleeved t-shirt he was wearing did little to no attempt to cover his arms...

God, you love Fridays.

But your show was interrupted when Eddie stopped playing, unplugging his guitar before hanging it on the wall where it usually is before joining you on the bed. Both of you were with your backs against the mattress, looking up at the ceiling of Eddie's room.

"You're staying the night?" he asks.

It wasn't unusual for you to spend the night at Eddie's house. The two of you have been best friends since you were little, so sleepovers were a recurrent thing. Your parents love Eddie, Uncle Wayne loves you. You're always welcomed to stay, just like Eddie is always welcomed to stay at your house.

And unlike what most people would think, nothing has ever happened between you and Eddie. Not once in all your years of friendship.

Not like you haven't thought of something happening. Because you have. Far too many times.

You can't deny that even though you enjoy spending time with him, it's gets harder and harder to pretend like sleeping next to him isn't driving you insane. Because you can't do anything but lay there. You can't move closer, you can't touch him. You can't tangle your fingers in his hair and whimper next to his ear while he's fingering you underneath the covers, trying your best to stay quiet because your parents are sleeping in the room at the end of the hallway. All of that lives hidden inside your mind.

"Maybe," was your reply, still not entirely sure if his company is worth spending yet another night craving him. "Why?"

"I need to make a quick delivery down the block. I wanted to know if I needed to take my van or not, in case I needed to give you a ride home."

"Wasn't planning on leaving yet."

"Good," was his reply, that hint of a flirtatious tone in his voice, but the glimpse of it wasn't strong enough to let yourself believe he's actually flirting. Eddie stood up to walk over to his desk, the familiar lunchbox placed there. He took out a few bags before putting on his usual leather jacket and putting the bags inside the pockets. "Wanna go with me?"

"I'd rather stay here."

"Fine. Try not to burn my house down."

With that said, Eddie walked out of his bedroom. Shortly after, you heard the front door of the trailer opening and closing, meaning you're completely alone now.

You rolled to your side on his bed, getting into a much comfortable position. The small TV in one corner of his room catches your attention, and you figure you could watch something until he gets back. The remote control was on top of his nightstand, but shortly after trying to turn the TV on a couple of times you realized it wasn't working.

Sighing, you stood up from the bed and began pushing the little button that should turn the artifact on, but nothing was happening. The solution to your current problem appeared before you when you kneeled down to check the cable, realizing it was disconnected.

As soon as you plug the TV, you hear a series of loud moans coming from it. You jumped slightly at the sudden sound, your cheeks starting to burn a little when you realize what is going on.

Eddie forgot he had a porn film playing. Maybe he had to unplug the damn thing in order to avoid getting caught watching that. Was it Uncle Wayne the one that almost discovered him or was it you?

But before your mind could drift entirely that way, you focus on another much important manner that requires your immediate attention the moment your eyes land on the screen and witness what is going on. There, you see a woman kneeling in front of the guy that's filming her, a close-up to her face as she begins sucking the guy's dick...she looks exactly like you.

You were kinda shocked to see just how similar this person is to you. Same hair color, same eye color, same nose...even the same pair of glasses you wear. Could this be...? No way. Is...Eddie watching a porn film with an actress that looks just like you?

Fuck.

You were unsure if you wanted to watch the rest or not. Has he watched it more than once or was this the first time he's seen it? It was already halfway in so most definitely he has seen enough. Doesn't he realize how similar you and the actress are? Or did he get this film because you and the actress are very similar?

After hearing the woman moaning around the guy's dick for another few seconds, you finally decided to pause the video and turn off the TV as if nothing happened, going back to the bed and deciding to stay there. Maybe it's better if you don't touch anything else.

When Eddie got back, you were staring at the ceiling while laying on your back. He smiled your way, taking his jacket off and putting the money he got for the drugs in a safe place.

"You've been there the whole time doing nothing?" he asks jokingly, his back facing you while he counts a few dollars before closing the little box where he kept his money.

"Mostly," was your reply, failing to hold back the smirk forming on your lips.

"What does that mean?" he insisted, finally turning to look at you. The look on his face let you know he has absolutely no idea where this is going.

You were quiet for a few seconds before turning to point at the TV. "I tried watching cartoons..."

When your attention was back on Eddie, he looked absolutely mortified. His cheeks were red and he looked panicked, opening his mouth to say something but closing it when he realized he couldn't find something to say.

"Those weren't cartoons..." you teased him even further.

"You– I...How much did you watch?" he asked, walking towards the TV and staring at it, knowing there's nothing he can do now to prevent you from watching that movie.

"Not much," you replied, shrugging despite him once again not looking at you. "But it was interesting..."

"What? Why?" he blurts out nervously, turning to face you. "What's interesting?"

You can tell Eddie is mortified. His cheeks are still burning red and he's frantically moving his arms around when he speaks. He only gestures this much when he's nervous.

"Actually, I don't think I want to know," he added right after.

"It's a good thing...I think."

He somehow looks even more frustrated. You didn’t think that was possible. "You think?"

"Depends on what your answer is."

That comment certainly made Eddie more interested, stopping to protest about how uncomfortable he was to really think about what could happen next. If you say it depends on his answer...

"What is it?" he eventually asks.

Him being cooperative made you smile, sitting up on the bed, legs crossed and hands resting against the mattress at each side of you. "If I tell you the question, you must answer. And no lies!"

"Sure, okay," he dismisses it, curious to know what you had in mind.

You doubted yourself for a second before finally asking the one question that kept playing over and over in your head since you saw that movie. "The woman in that film...does she happen to look like me or was that the idea?"

Eddie scoffed, immediately shaking his head. "Nope! Nope! Not answering that!"

"You said–!"

"I didn't know that was the question!"

"Well...your reaction kind of answers it perfectly, anyway," you commented.

He looks ever more defeated, too self-aware to try to come on top in this situation, knowing he couldn't save himself. He was watching a porn film with an actress that looks exactly like you and you noticed. You know he jerks off watching someone that resembles you getting fucked over and over again, wishing that was actually you being completely wrecked by him.

There's no way he's winning this one.

"Why are you doing this?" he gave up, taking a seat at the very edge of his bed. "It's enough knowing you watched the damn thing, I don't need you teasing me about it."

"I'm not teasing you, Eds," was your reply, crawling to where he was. "Well, I was. But not in a bad way..."

Eddie leans back just slightly when he notices the way you crawl on top of him, sitting on his lap with one leg at each side of his body. A hand rests at the back of his neck, the other carefully traces up and down his sleeveless t-shirt.

His hands instinctively rest at each of your thighs as he watches you. The gesture makes you smile, leaning closer to him. His breath catches in his throat when he feels you moving on top of him, knowing you did that on purpose. The feeling of your pants rubbing against his black jeans wasn't nearly enough to help you ease the growing ache in between your thighs, but at least it was something.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm actually flattered."

"You...you are?" he asks in disbelief.

You nod, the smile never fading as you move slightly closer, your face too close to his. He immediately wraps an arm around your lower back hoping that would make you stay right there, your noses practically touching at that point.

"Yeah. I mean, why wouldn't I like knowing you touch yourself thinking about me?" you asked innocently. "Because that's what you do, right?"

"Yeah...All the time," he was barely able to say, too focused on the fact that you were straddling him, your hips once again moving just enough to tease him. And you made sure to look at him as if you had no idea what your movements on top of him were doing to his body and mind. Like this wasn't driving him insane.

"Say it for me, please."

Eddie practically moans at your request. "I jerk off thinking about you."

"Yeah? And you think about all the stuff you could be doing to me if I was there with you?"

He nods after your question, silently begging for you to lean down and kiss him at this point. Or for you to start moving your hips faster. Or both. Both would be great, but either would be enough for now.

"Would you like to show me, Eddie?" you ask again, eager for this to escalate already.

"Can I show you?" he practically repeats, unable to still fully comprehend how did he managed to be in this situation with you on top of him, asking if he can fuck you like the many times he had fantasized about it. It's too good to be true.

"I'd love that," you reply, as if the fact that you started rocking your hips faster wasn't enough of an answer.

Just right after you said those words, you lean down and finally crash your lips against his. The second you're kissing him, Eddie loses all self control he had left, immediately starting to kiss you back as his hands gently grab your ass, forcing you to speed up your movements on top of him.

The kiss deepens, your tongue meeting his as the two of you continue to make out. You could feel his pants becoming tighter underneath you, letting you know how much Eddie was enjoying this.

You eventually move back from the kiss and, much to Eddie's discomfort, you get back on your feet and take a few steps back from the bed. Just before Eddie could protest about you being so far away from him, he stays quiet when he notices your hands grabbing the end of your shirt, pulling it over your shoulders and off your body.

It made you feel exposed, but you can't deny how much you enjoy having his attention. To know his eyes are scanning your body and the more he does the more turned on he gets. To watch him having to fix the fit of his jeans because it was almost impossible to keep them on with the boner he currently has. And you're the one to blame for that.

He watches as you reach to your back, getting rid of your bra too. The item of clothing fell to the floor at your feet but Eddie couldn't care any less about that, as he was way too focused on your now exposed chest.

Eddie was standing in front of you in no time, taking his shirt off and throwing it somewhere before capturing your lips again in a heated kiss while his hands cupped your tits. They were cold, making you hiss against the touch, but somehow it made it that much enjoyable.

Moans would leave your mouth anytime Eddie would pinch one of your nipples, gently twisting them with his fingers before massaging your tits however he wanted. Your sounds were muffled almost entirely against Eddie's lips.

You only broke the kiss so you could look at him, not wanting to miss his reaction the moment you got on your knees in front of him, your fingers tracing down his body until meeting his belt. Eddie's eyes got darker in anticipation, his mouth slightly agape as his breaths became heavier, watching you unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants before sliding them down his legs.

His underwear was still in the way, his erection more evident than ever now. He breathes out slowly the second he feels your hand palming him. The reaction makes you smirk, slowly tracing your fingers up to his hips, grabbing his underwear in an even slower gesture just to tease him a little bit more. You can tell Eddie is frustrated, his hips involuntarily rocking closer to you and his body tensing just enough.

But you finally decide to show him mercy, sliding his underwear down to expose his already fully-erect cock. You bit your lip at the image in front of you, once again looking up at Eddie with a smirk. The way you just looked at him nearly drove him insane, grabbing a fistful of your hair to guide you closer to him.

You gladly take him inside your mouth, all at once first before focusing exclusively on his tip, only to fill your mouth with every inch of him that could fit one more time, repeating the process. And you didn't care about being too messy or too loud, which encouraged Eddie to rock his hips faster. That, and the fact that you kept looking up at him through your glasses with a doe-eyed look while continuing to take him inside your mouth.

"Fuck, baby..." he grunts, gripping your hair tighter. "Your mouth feels so good...look so pretty like that with my dick down your throat."

You moan around him, loving to be praised like that for what you were doing. One of your hands travels under your sweatpants and panties, your fingers starting to rub hurried circles on your clit.

Eddie noticed the gesture. "Touching yourself while you suck me off, hmm? Can't wait to play with that pretty pussy of yours."

He continued to thrust in and out of your mouth, you meeting his movements halfway by bobbing your head. At the speed you two were going, the scene got messier and much louder, his dick coated with your saliva.

You knew Eddie was getting closer and closer, his moans increasing and his eyebrows furrowing closer together with each series of thrusts.

Eventually, you took him out of your mouth to start pumping him, wanting him to cum all over your face. It didn't take long for Eddie to do exactly that, his cum falling predominantly inside your mouth and over your glasses.

"You're beautiful," Eddie compliments you, the image of you still on your knees with his cum all over your face being his new favorite things in the entire world.

He watches you swallow what fell inside your mouth, using your fingers to clean around your chin before he walked over to his dresser to grab a few tissues so you could clean yourself. You take a few tissues for your face before removing your glasses, trying your best to clean them as much as possible before rubbing the glasses against the fabric of your sweatpants in an effort to clean them even further, making the stains disappear much better.

When you get on your feet and put your glasses on again, Eddie grabs your face with both of his hands and pulls you in for a heated, passionate kiss. Your tongues meet almost instantly and you moan into his mouth when his hands leave your face to grab your ass instead, squeezing the flesh there.

"I really made a mess on you, huh?" he mutters after pulling away from you, looking down to see a few ropes of cum still dripping down your chest. Just when you were about to move back to clean properly, he grabs both of your arms to stop you from walking away. "It's okay, I can clean it for you."

You lean your head back when you feel his tongue tracing its way across your body, making sure to clean everything off you. When he was done, you were quick to pull him in for yet another kiss, appreciative of him for helping.

Eddie guides you to the edge of his bed and you only move back from the kiss to lay down, gladly accepting his kiss again when he's positioned on top of you. His hands immediately start pulling your sweatpants down your legs and you allow him, lifting your hips from the mattress so he can easily get rid of them.

You're forced to move away from his lips when you feel his fingers touching you, his hand making its way inside your panties and his fingers already in contact with your clit. He rubs his fingers in slow circles, his head moving to hide his face in the crook of your neck.

"So wet for me already," he whispers. "Should we get rid of your panties?"

"Yeah," you reply, nodding eagerly. Eddie starts kissing your neck while his hands take care of removing your underwear. You feel him smile against your skin when you spread your legs wider for him, needing to feel his touch again.

Two of his fingers trace down your pussy until they reach your hole, slowly entering you as you let out a moan at the sensation. He pulls them out of you only to thrust inside of you again, this time faster, curling his fingers inside you.

He moves back from your neck so he can look at you, watching your face while he continues to finger you, smirking every time he would curl his fingers because he knows how much you enjoy the feeling just by the way you react whenever he does it. Your breathing would become heavier, your mouth would open wider, your hips would rock slightly faster.

"You like that?" he asks. "Tell me how good it feels."

"It feels so good, Eddie," you whimper, needing him to move faster already. You grab the back of his neck to pull him closer to your face again. "Faster," you whisper, your lips practically touching his. He increased the speed like you requested. "Shit, like that...keep doing that."

"Is this better for you?" he insisted, wanting to hear you express what he's making you feel as much as he possibly could.

"Yes."

"Are you gonna cum all over my fingers?"

You really tried not to lean your head back into the pillow, enjoying your face so close to his as he continues to say all these things to you. "Uh-huh."

He continued to make out with you right after that, fingering you impossibly faster now. The muffled sound of your moans encouraged him to keep that pace, knowing that meant you'll soon reach your orgasm.

You can feel him rocking his hips against one side of your body, already getting hard again with the sensation of his fingers moving in and out of you, your pussy just so wet all around him.

Eddie uses his thumb to take care of your aching clit while his fingers repeatedly curl inside you, making you grind your hips against him desperately. He moves back, admiring your face as you get closer and closer. "Want to hear your pretty sounds," was his explanation as to why he would stop kissing you.

He once again focused on your neck, his mouth sucking on the skin there. You knew that would leave a mark, but that didn't bother you in the slightest. The idea of Eddie branding you, claiming your body like that, only contributed to the knot in your stomach becoming tighter.

And he made sure to leave not just one hickey, but several. He would occasionally bite down on your neck, adoring to feel the way your grip on his bicep would tighten, nails digging on his skin and your back arching in response while your pussy clenched around his fingers. Your other hand was gripping the sheets underneath you, desperately wanting to hold onto anything because you were just too close, your body needing to brace itself for it.

You lose it when you feel his teeth biting your earlobe, letting out the loudest moan yet when you reach your orgasm. Eddie moves back again, not wanting to miss the show. The sight of you whimpering, still rocking your hips against his fingers, looking so needy and vulnerable for him. And he couldn't get enough of the look in your eyes when you stare back at him, knowing he did a great job just by the expression on your face.

Your hand reaches down to grab his wrist, silently pleading him to keep his movements as slow and gentle as possible, still sensitive from the feeling of your orgasm. He understands, his fingers carefully moving in and out of you one last time before moving his hand away.

Eddie looks at you with a grin, his fingers absolutely soaked with your juices. He didn't think twice before cleaning them off with his mouth, which has to be the hottest thing you've ever seen.

Right after, both of his arms are at each side of your head and he's leaning down to capture your lips in a very heated kiss, tongues meeting and teeth occasionally crashing as you both hungrily devour each other's mouths. You can feel him rubbing himself against your stomach, and you whimper at the feeling because you need to feel him somewhere else.

He only pulls away from you to reach for a condom from his nightstand. You sit on the bed, moving your hips further up to give him space to put the condom on before continuing what you were just about to do.

A smile appears on your face when you see he's done, chuckling when he grabs your hips and pulls you back down, your back pressed against the mattress as you return to your previous position. He was so eager for you and you can just tell by the way he's looking at you.

Eddie kisses you again, holding his weight with one arm while the other explores your body, fingers tracing down your hip to your thigh, grabbing your leg to put it over his shoulder. The position stretches you out even further, moaning in anticipation because you can feel how exposed you are for him.

One of your hands holds onto his bicep the second Eddie starts entering you. "Fuck," you let out in pure ecstasy, already wanting to have him buried deep within you.

You moan again when his skin touches yours, indicating he's fully inside you. When he pulls out, your available leg practically forces him back in by wrapping around him, which definitely took Eddie by surprise judging by the grunt that just escaped his lips.

"So needy of my cock, huh?" he teased. "It's okay, baby. I'll give you exactly what you need."

"Please, Eddie..." you moan, enjoying the fact that his thrusts increased. You were so wet, it was so easy for him to go in and out of you.

He continued to fuck you, the chain hanging from his neck tickling your own while his thrusts continued. Your leg hanging from his shoulder helps to make you feel him deeper than ever, making the experience that much better. He's reached places inside you you're pretty sure no one else has. Ever. And you wouldn't want any other person this seeded in you that isn't Eddie.

Only he can have you like this, a moaning and sweaty mess because he doesn't look like wanting to slow down his movements. He's the only one that would ever make you feel like this. No one can fuck you like he can, and you hope this isnt't the first and only time you get to have him inside you.

Your glasses were starting to fog because your face was buried in his neck while he continued to thrust in and out, forcing you to move your head to the side to avoid them making it impossible to see a thing. That gave him the perfect opportunity to begin kissing your jaw.

"I'm gonna cum," you announced, knowing that you wouldn't last when he's repeatedly hitting that sweet spot inside you, your nails digging harder on his arm.

"I'm right behind you," he replies, his lips barely breaking contact with your skin as he speaks. "Cum for me, baby. I want to feel your pussy clenching around me."

"Keep talking like that..." you were barely able to say, feeling you could come any second.

"I need to feel you squeezing my dick when you cum all over me. Make sure to say my name, too. I bet it sounds so pretty when you're screaming it for me while I keep fucking you nice and hard."

"Oh, fuck...Eddie!" you practically gasp, holding onto him as you reach your orgasm, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you completely lose yourself in it, enjoying every second of your release.

"That's it," he encourages, smiling down at you. "So fucking tight around me..."

"Please, give it to me, Eds," you're barely able to plead, still trying to ride down your recent orgasm. "I've been good for you, I need...please, I deserve it. Please."

"You've been so good," he agrees, practically hoping that would be enough hint that he also wants you to keep talking.

"I have. I've taken your cock so well, Eddie...don't you think your good girl deserves to feel you cum?"

"Fuck, you do. You deserve...you deserve it all, baby. "

You whimper underneath him, knowing he was so close already. You just needed to give him one last encouragement for him to lose it entirely. And you knew exactly what you needed to say to get him to break right there.

"Please, daddy. I need to feel you cum."

It was like a secret code only you knew the correct answer to. Or like a complicated riddle only you had the answer to. Because as soon as those words left your mouth, Eddie was rapidly reaching his own orgasm.

A few occasional profanities left his lips as he came down from it all, his hands still worshiping your body as he gave his final thrusts before finally pulling away from you.

He got rid of the used condom while you got under the covers of his bed, not minding to get dressed just yet. You could do that later. Right now you just wanted to rest in his bed.

Eddie got back and joined you underneath the covers. You were gladly surprised when he wrapped his arms around you, giving you a quick kiss on the top of your head. He didn't bother to put any clothes on either.

"So, was that better than your movie?" you asked jokingly, obviously knowing the answer.

"Much better," he replied instantly, which inevitably made you chuckle. "Don't think I'll need to watch that anymore if I can fuck you like this whenever I want."

"Yeah, you can forget all about that stupid film," you agreed, already waiting for the next time you get to have Eddie all to yourself like this again.

[jennifercheckapologist]

Bandit Like Me - 00

Synopsis: You meet Ellie at her album release and she offers you her jacket.

Pairing: Rockstar!Ellie x Musician!Reader (Side Abby x Reader)

Warnings: None, really; Ellie's a slut (and southern); Reader's a slut (and southern); Reader isn't explicitly femme or masc, but I'm femme and everything I do is for myself; Eventual Smut; Joel is Super Alive

A/N: I haven't written something with a real plot that wasn't about Jennifer's Body in 5ever ! Also a transphobic radfem reblogged my last fic... terrifying. I would rather not interact with TERFs ever <3

Word Count: 1,252

On TLOU2 and Palestine

Resources

You need air- or at least, that’s what you told Abby before you rushed out onto the back patio, away from all the warm bodies, glitter, and the sounds of the world ending. It’s overwhelming being surrounded by celebrities now after all the years of shitty apartments and college parties. Now, they’re supposed to be your peers… or something like that.

You probably weren’t supposed to be here, on the guest list for one of the biggest parties of the year at Ellie’s absurd mansion- all dressed up to celebrate her. You definitely weren’t supposed to be outside, on her back patio in the cold New York air, watching her strum her guitar to herself.

You know you’re intruding, but you just can’t turn around. Not when Ellie looks so… like that with her signature guitar in her lap and her hair messily piled up on her head. She’s under-dressed in her blue jeans and wife beater. The only sign that she isn’t in the same tax bracket as you is the bright red racer jacket covering her arms. You’d seen that jacket a million times in photos. On-stage, in paparazzi photos, in music videos.

You hadn’t expected her here, outside all alone. Not when all the people worth name-dropping were inside, celebrating the release of her newest album. It seemed she was already working on the next thing. You hadn’t expected to get to speak to her either. She’d been famous since you’d been in high school- you still had her old country songs from long before she was a rockstar saved to your phone.

She must know you’re here- you didn’t make much effort to hide your arrival- but she stays focused. Her eyes are trained on her hand at the neck of the guitar, and she’s got that wrinkle between her brows like she’s doing surgery. The longer you wait, the more awkward you feel.

“Now, what would your daddy say if he saw you right now?” You manage a bit of confidence as you take a few steps toward where she’s seated, legs crossed on the concrete. It feels like a safe enough topic; something you could talk about for a while.

She chuckles, already back to being the impossibly charming star she was back inside. She flirts the same way that she breathes- instinctually, “What if I told you that he taught me everything I know?”

The answer? You wouldn’t be surprised. You’d grown up listening to Joel’s music with your parents, and you could hear bits and pieces of him all over her music. There were touches of him in your own work too. You still idolized him- had nearly choked on your drink when you saw him inside.

“About guitar,” you murmur, already melting into her, “or women?”

“Both, but there was only so much he could tell me about guitar,” she jokes. She finally looks up from her guitar, green eyes intense as she watches you squirm in front of her, “Did he see me leave?”

You shrug in response, your arms wrapped around you as you realize how cold it is. You can feel the goosebumps along your arms, and you’re starting to really regret your outfit choice, “I couldn’t say. He looked pretty relaxed the last time I saw him.”

She starts strumming again, something familiar- you recognize it from one of her first albums. It felt like those albums were a lifetime ago, but you remember listening to her debut when you were still in high school. She was only a couple of years older than you, but it seemed she was speaking right to you. You’d recognize those first tracks any day. Her strumming stopped again when you shivered and breathed into the cold air.

“Take my jacket,” she placed her guitar aside gently and began to remove the expensive leather for you, “Joel’d be pissed if I let you freeze out here, sugar.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t,” you protest, finally sitting next to her but certainly keeping your distance. You weren’t here to get starstruck and fall hopelessly in love with your seventeen-year-old self’s crush. You were supposed to be getting fresh air. You’d already promised Abby that you wouldn’t get into trouble tonight.

“You could,” she shoved the jacket toward you, “And you should.”

You push her hand back toward her, “Ellie, I know better.”

The smirk on her face doesn’t let up as she drawls, “You’re really hurting my ego here.”

“One second I’m in your jacket, the next I’m in your bed. I know how you are.”

“I’ve heard similar stories about you,” Ellie placed her jacket in front of you and crossed her arms, celebrating her minor victory as you picked it up and used it to cover your legs, “You don’t have to hop in my bed for it, I promise. I’m still a gentleman. Just don’t tell your girlfriend.”

“I’m sure she won’t mind. She’s a big fan,” You wink. ‘Fan’ might be a strong word here, but so was ‘girlfriend.’ What you and Abby had was something in between that. You looked good together, and you had fun. You tried not to think too much about Ellie knowing anything about your love life.

She reached for her guitar again with a laugh, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

You watched as she stood to leave, seemingly pleased with that being the end of your interaction. You stood awkwardly and called her name, folding her jacket over your arm. She only turned back around to you when she reached the door back into her house, “Your jacket?”

And god, you want to push her for how cocky she looks as she turns on her heel to grin at you, “Don’t worry, I’ll take it back once I’ve seen you in it.”

The moment she’s inside, the whole interaction feels fake. The only evidence you have of the moment is the red leather covering your arm, and you feel like a ridiculous teenager as you bring it to your nose to take in her scent. It smells earthy and expensive and now you’re certain you were smart not to put it on. If you had kept bantering with her, surrounded by her scent like this, you would be in trouble.

You stay outside, thinking about the feeling of being with Ellie for a little longer before heading back in to find Abby. She lights up when she sees you, her large arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you in like you really do belong to her. She’s warm against you, and when she gives you your personal space back, she has confusion contorting her face as she stares at the leather folded over your arm, “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” you attempt to shrug off the edge in her voice, “I ran into Ellie Williams outside and it was cold so she-”

“She left her own party to sit outside and wait for a pretty girl to need a jacket?” She murmurs into your ear, pulling you back into her. You can already tell she’s preparing to make this a thing.

You frown up at her, “She was working on a song or something. I interrupted her and she was really nice about it.”

“I’m sure she was.”

“Oh, stop it,” you hook your free arm around her neck, “She knew I came with you.”

That makes the corners of her mouth perk up. She presses a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth before responding, “Good.”

Housekeeping: Dividers again by @saradika ; pinterest board that got me here ; As always, I'm a black femme lesbian and that's my truth