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mistressoftherant-blog · 1 year

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TMNT Fanfic Complaints

As this blog is mostly a space to vent, and I am currently obsessed with pretty much every iteration of the TMNT, I thought I'd throw together a list of things that make me close a fanfic instantly. If you like any of these things, then that's totally fine, but for the most part, any of these things will have me dropping a fic in minutes. A few of these are aligned with posts I've made in the past, but I am noting them down anyway as this is a way of me getting out a lot of my major complaints at once 😅

No.1 Having all the brothers be abusive (particularly towards Mikey), with bonus points for any crossover that will then have one version of the turtles chastising the others for the way they treat their brothers. It just doesn't work, every set have very specific dynamics, but none of them are abusive.

No. 2 Crossover fics that make it impossible to tell who is who. This can occur in a few different ways. One of which is that the authors completely fail to differentiate different universes, making every single version of the turtles talk and act in the same way. Another is when a fic gets flooded with nicknames/pronouns/usernames, without a decent key. If you have a crossover fic with even just 3 or 4 universes, but every single turtle has multiple sets of pronouns, multiple nicknames, and multiple usernames, you really need a way to make it clear who is who.

No.3 The 'poor baby Blue' phenomenon in which every version of the turtles seemingly forgets all of the horror they have suffered because of what the Rise boys have gone through, particularly Leo. I honestly hate it when I am reading a crossover fic and all of the trauma from every series is disregarded in the face of the Rise Shredder and Rise Krang, which brings me on to my next point...

No.4 Essentially an extension of No.3, but can we all finally drop the idea that the Rise Boys had the scariest villains? Sure, their Shredder and Krang were intense, but for the most part, their villains are all pretty much played for comic relief. Either 03 or 12 had the scariest villains. And before anyone comes at me like 'Oh, Rise Shredder was a demon, the Rise Krang managed to take over the world, etc', may I remind everyone that 03 also had a demon Shredder who took over the world (and multiple others including the one who took over in SAINW), and the 12 Triceratons straight up destroyed the Earth with a black hole?

No.5 Fics that give away traits from one turtle to another e.g. making any of the other turtles better at science/math/tech etc than Donnie. Each of the turtles has their own thing, and Donnie will always be the smartest academics wise. It annoys me to no end when people try and make any if the others, usually Rise Leo or 12 Mikey, out to be a genius like him. I actually once read a fic where Rise Donnie asked Leo to help someone with a chemistry question that he couldn't handle. It's ridiculous, and usually carries over from the headcanon that Rise Leo is the medic (is there genuinely any evidence for this in the show besides Leo having a pouch? Because the only time I can recall anything medical related being brought up was when Donnie mentioned Raph's allergies). I have also seen people talk about Rise Leo loving to dance more than Donnie, even when the show explicitly states on multiple occasions how much Bootyyyshaker9000 loves to dance (also making Leo a massive theatre kid when Donnie breaks into songs and dance numbers on multiple occasions.) Or when 12 fans make Mikey the artist when it is actually Raph.

No. 6 (people will probably be mad at this one) Stop making everything about Leosagi, please! He doesn't even exist in the Rise verse, yet the entire fandom is absolutely swamped with Leosagi content. It's annoying when you are reading a Rise fic, and then out of nowhere it all becomes about Leo's relationship with Usagi. These fics also tend to make Usagi the most bland character in existence, with his two defining traits being samurai and Leo's boyfriend. They even do this to Bayverse!! Or bizarre crossover ships that start taking over everything (Why is Mikey being shipped with pretty much all of the spiderman iterations now??(

No. 7 Any fic that has all of the Donnies despise each other. I don't know if this is bias, but I feel like most of the Donnies would enjoy having people on their level to discussbthings with, people who would respect their boundaries and listen to each other's rants. And before anyone brings up their egos, most of the Donnies are shown to be able to and even enjoy working with others who are around their level (Aprils, Leatherhead in 03, Fugitoids etc). I actually think that, aside from the Mikeys, the Donnies would probably get on the best.

No. 8 One of my biggest pet peeves (that I have complained about before) is acting as if any version of the turtles is far superior to the others in terms of intelligence, fighting skills, etc. The Rise boys do not solo every verse. If they had had more training, then yeah, they would be probably some of the strongest characters. But they haven't had the training of the other verses, and mystic powers cannot compensate for everything (considering the fact that they got absolutely bodied by their Krang, you think more people would realise this). The other iterations pretty much all have more formal training, more experience fighting a variety of opponents (Bayverse and the 90s are perhaps an exception to the greater variety of opponents here, but as Bayverse Raph alone can yeet a shipping container singlehandedly with no powers, I think they're good). In no universe should the Rise boys be giving any of the other characters fighting tips.

I will probably write more of these at some point, this was pretty cathartic 😅 I also promise that I do not hate Rise, I just have more issues with the wider Rise fandom than most of the other shows.

#rottmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey #tmnt raphael #tmnt 2003 #tmnt leo #tmnt leonardo #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #bayverse donatello #bayverse donnie #tmnt raph #tmnt 90s

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phoebepheebsphibs · 9 months

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I will never actually write this because it was too sad (even for me and my angsty skills...)

A while ago, I came up with the idea to write a really sad fic about the turtles. Duh.

A goal with all my fics is to have a moment where I make the audience cry, or at the very least get emotional. And this was no exception. It’s a personal challenge for me, to see if I can get my audience truly invested. But, I also need my fics to have a PURPOSE. So, if I was gonna write a sad and angsty fic, I needed a way to bring it to a moral or happy ending, to show a reason why the characters went through what they did, rather than just have a story for story's sake. So, I went about coming up with a synopsis for a story that showed how to deal with grief and guilt and hopelessness. But after several months of writing and ideas, I realized that it simply wasn't working out. The story wasn't just sad or angsty, it was utterly depressing. The message of hope even after death wasn't pulling through... and in addition, I got worried that the massive amounts of despair in the story were going to be detrimental to my mental health, if not also for the readers. Thusly, I scrapped the plot.

So fair warning, the stuff you're about to read is very emotional and kinda dark...

Naw I ain’t playing, turn back now while you have the chance.

CW: LOTS. OF. DEATH. Major illness, disintegration, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, even a suicide attempt.

I was even in the process of making cover art for it (which I do for all my fics lol)

The fic literally starts out with a note from April (the narrator), explaining that she documented everything and warns the reader that this story does not have a happy ending. It takes place about a week after the invasion, and the family was having a rough time. Mikey's hands were absolutely scorched, Donnie's immune system was shot and he seemed to be getting ill, Raph was having constant panic attacks, and Leo wasn't getting better from his injuries. To top it all off, a new government branch was setting up camp in NYC and interrogating people about the events of the Krang attack. April had narrowly escaped but figured the Earth Protection Force would come back for her. Meanwhile, Leo’s injuries weren’t healing like they should have and he was getting worse… Eventually the family caved and asked for help from Agent Bishop and the EPF, but after some doctors and scientists took a look at Leo… they realized there was nothing anyone could do. They’d waited too long. Leo was not going to make it, and all they could do was make him comfortable for a few hours before he... yeah. So everyone said their goodbyes, and I actually have some snippets of dialogue written down and it makes me cry every time. Donnie had the worst reaction, upset by Leo's peace with the situation and devastated by his loss, believing that he never showed his appreciation and love for his twin as much as he should have. Leo attempts to comfort Donnie, but eventually tells him to "get over it". A few hours later, Leo dies in his sleep, and the room erupts into grief and panic and chaos until Donnie, in his pure anger, punches a hole through the heart monitor and leaves. Leo is given a viking send-off in the Hidden City, and afterwards, April asks what they are supposed to do now. Donnie angrily repeats Leo's last insight: get over it. April goes home, and after her parents ask her how her day was… she bursts into tears.

Several weeks later, Mikey tries to get Donnie and Raph to talk about their feelings, but they both refuse. Mikey himself is having issues, his hands not healing quickly and he wonders if he will ever be able to make a work of art again. He manages to get Donnie to admit his guilt of not being there for Leo and still holding anger and resentment towards his twin for sacrificing himself and dying. Mikey suggests that he speak with Raph, but Donatello refuses. Later, during an attack, Raph was knocked out and Donnie collapsed from his illness, which he had been hiding. Mikey realizes that it's left to him and uses his mystic powers to portal his brothers to safety, at the cost of his own life. Mikey comes to terms with this, believing that what he did was his mangum opus, and he feels no pain as he vanishes, greeted by Leo in the afterlife.

Donatello and Raphael mourn the loss of two brothers, and Donnie finally talks with Raph about his grief over Leo’s death (in honour of Dr. Feelings’ memory). However, his declining health is brought to light and Donnie is placed in quarantine. Casey Jr. identifies his illness as a common Krang disease, one his mother died of, and the group work overtime to create the cure. Raph stays with his last sibling and keeps him company. Donnie gets more and more sick, and one night while April and Casey are working with Agent Bishop to finalize the antidote, Donnie's fever worsens and he sleepwalks, hallucinating Mikey and Leo's return and them comforting Donnie and telling him that the others will be alright in his absence. Donnie senses that his time is almost up. Raph finds him but doesn't understand what Donnie is seeing or who he is talking to, and takes him back to bed. April and Casey finally finish the cure and rush home, hoping to make it back in time, but find Raph asleep by Donnie's bedside… Donnie having just succumbed to his illness a few hours prior.

Raph is left as the last one alive, dealing with extreme survivors' guilt for outliving his brothers and blames himself for their deaths. April tries to comfort him, Splinter, and Casey. (Casey notes that history seems to be repeating itself in reverse order— that while in the alternate timeline Raph died first and Leo last, the opposite has been happening here, and Casey fears that Raph might actually die somehow very soon.) Meanwhile, Raphael tries to atone for his guilt by overdoing the vigilante work on his own. Eventually he decides that it isn't enough, he can never atone, and he misses his brothers too much… so he writes a note to April and emails it to her, then goes to the Hidden City to pick a fight with Heinous Green... and let him win. April receives the email and she and the others rush to save Raph, who at this point has already found Heinous Green and is letting him beat the ever-loving life out of him. Halfway through, however, he realizes what he is doing and that his brothers would not want this for him, but it's too late... April and Casey find Raph near death and attempt to save him, but he goes unconscious from his injuries.

While April, Casey, Splinter and Draxum work to heal Raph's wounds and revive him, Raphael dreams of the afterlife, meeting up with his brothers and apologizing for everything. They comfort him, yet also explain that he has to wake up soon; and how April, Casey, and Splinter still need him. Raphael asks if he can stay, to which they promise that he will be okay without them and someday they will see each other again; that they aren’t mad at him for their deaths, but that he cannot speed up their meeting. Raph agrees to go home, to which they all say how proud they are of him. Raphael wakes up with his family around him, relieved that he survived. Later that night, he and April have a discussion where she scolds and berates him for trying to leave them, saying that she had no one left. He admits his actions and apologizes and promises to get better.

In an epilogue, April explains that it has been a full year since Raph’s injuries, and he is doing much better. The Hidden City made a memorial for the three lost brothers in honour of their sacrifices. Casey Jones Jr. has been doing better as well, though he will often have nights of panic and moments of grief that only Raph can get him through. Agent Bishop works with Raphael and Casey to keep the city safe from mutant attacks, and they work to create a new team, hinting to characters like Mona Lisa, Venus De Milo/Frida Kahlo, Leatherhead, and other characters from the comic series. April ends by stating that at the beginning, she said the story did not have a happy ending. She stands by this, stating that the story has not ended and will continue for as long as they live, and that she does her best to remember her friends and keep going on, not for their sake, but for her own. And that one day, she will see them again.

And as if THAT wasn't heart-wrenching enough, I also planned a short after-story of how something like 80 years later, The Hamato ghosts get ready to welcome Raph into the afterlife, showing Leo preparing a house for him and Mikey decorating and Donnie gardening.

So yeah this is the most depressing and heartbreaking thing I've ever written, and I ACTUALLY SPARED YOU FROM THE DIALOGUE I HAD WRITTEN TOO

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tutant meenage neetle teetles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rottmnt fic #rottmnt writing #depressing stuff #angst #i made it get really dark there for a bit #yeah so i don't think i'm gonna finish this one...#pain #rottmnt angst

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raisin-shell · 1 year

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Hello, idk if you still do requests or not but I was wondering how you think each of the turtles would react to donnie having a human girlfriend? I always liked the idea of the nerdy turtle being the first one to pull and him just being so smug about it 😫

Love your work btw! Bayverse turtles for life 🤟

Ooohhhhh snap! Donnie boy being the first to land a lady?!? Holy bat balls let’s get into it!

Leonardo

Naturally being the leader and also playing the “big brother” role… Leonardo would be very wary and standoffish. He would worry nonstop about this human girlfriend.

“What are her intentions?”

“Are you sure she can keep us secret?”

“Are you sure you’re not just a novelty to her?”

All types of questions he’d have for Donnie among others. Not that he doesn’t trust his brother’s judgment but he knows that female persuasion could lead to some not so thought out actions. It would take Leo a long time to warm up to this new girlfriend but once he does, he’d welcome her with open arms. He loves his little brother and as such wants him to be happy.

Raphael

Good lord if you looked up jealousy in the dictionary Raph’s photo would be right damn there! He absolutely can not believe his nerd brother pulled a girl before him. Only him though. Not his other brothers.

“What’s he got that I don’t got?”

“She must be desperate.”

“He’ll fuck this up I’m sure. No way she’s that into that pip squeak when she could have all this.”

He flexes his muscles as everyone rolls their eyes. He gets pissed off anytime she shows him affection. Locks himself away in his weight area to keep from having to see all the lovey dovey shit. He absolutely can’t stand that Donnie has a girlfriend and he doesn’t.

Michelangelo

Mikey… oh mikey…. He can’t keep a straight face long enough to not embarrass the ever loving shit out of his brother. Says or asks embarrassing questions in front of Donnie’s s/o.

“So… are you two like you know…. Doing the nasty yet? Hmmmm?”

“Is Donnie a good kisser? He used to practice on his pillow when he thought no one was looking.”

“I just uploaded a bunch of Donnie’s baby photos… there’s this one where he colored his entire crotch area with purple marker! Probably why dad chose that as his color… wanna take a look?”

Alas… mikey always manages to embarrass the crap out of Donnie when his girl is around. He means well but… dammit Mikey!!

Donatello

Donnie with a girlfriend would actually be pretty shy about it at first… AT FIRST. But once it’s worn of the newness he becomes a lot more cocky about it. When Raph starts his shit he’s quick to snap back at him. When Leo gets on his case, he’s stern yet reassuring. When Mikey gets on his nerves he simply states some other thing that will equally embarrass the hell out of his little brother in front of a girl which turns out is fairly easy. He’s very proud of his girlfriend and proud of himself.

“Gosh Leonardo, you’re never going to get a girlfriend with that attitude!”

“What do I got that you don’t Raph? A massive penis. Gigantic…. And a fucking brain.”

“Yes Mikey since it’s story time how about we tell her about how you used to eat your own snot when you thought no one was looking? That actually still happened up until recently.”

Also thank you! And I apologize it took so long @senjuroprotectionsquad

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt bayverse #tmnt #tmnt raphael #tmnt leonardo #bayverse #tmnt donatello #tmnt 2016 #tmnt michelangelo #answered asks

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glitched-username · 2 months

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..★soo- , urh- I got a little concept regarding rottmnt G/t, thought about sharing it with you- if you don't mind.★

★M'kay- so combining the latest analysis that you made about Donnie being a size-shifter and the turtles heights in your 'Biblically Accurate Size' AU- I managed to cook up this (no, this does not only concern Donnie by the way) :

|⭐| What if the turtles were size shifters- who could only shrink, but wait- there is a catch. What if the absolute minimum of how small they can get depends on their species height. Like, once they reach said height- they won't be able to shrink any more.

|⭐| For instance, if Raph wants to get smaller- the absolute minimum could be 30 inches- since that is his accurate height, based on your AU at least. Same goes for the other turtles as well- such as, Mikey's minimum height is 5 inches tall- Leo's minimum is a foot tall, Donnie's is 9 inches- yeah, you get it.. I hope (—‹ —⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ..

★..erm. just a thought that has been spiraling around my head. I let you do what you want with it or smth, smth..★

★soo, bye for now-★

(I might return with a little idea regarding size shifting brains & brawn duo. erm. since Raph is technically a size shifter of some sorts- and Donnie does have the potential of being a size shifer. Though I don't have much in mind for this concept.. fuck =[[)

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS! My brain has been mush the past few days 😔😔😔

Anyway

Yes. Absolutely

Mikey 100% does it the most. To annoy older brothers, practice his "razzmatazz", and perfect cuddle buddy. Very "marketable plushie" coded. I just have a mental image of Mikey taking the place of whatever "sports ball" they plan on throwing around. He's already the biggest adrenaline junkie on the team and in the show, they already make it a habit of throwing brothers around like ragdolls so this is an entirely real possibility lmao

Donnie does it for science purposes like 99% of the time. Especially before he got his mystic goggles/powers. Machine is down but don't wanna tear it apart to get at the ONE section failing? Just shrink down and work on it there. The next 0.50% is when he's too overwhelmed and just needs to get small to hide from the lights, sounds, everything, just 'get me the hell out of here'. The last 0.50% is purely for personal comfort. Small bath turns into massive pools for the aquatic turtle to enjoy, warm human friend is suddenly a super warm and comfortable giant heated weighted blanket.

Leo is by far the most unpredictable. He'll do it to annoy Raph and Donnie and also LOVES how it can make him the center of attention. Leo is like the master of "I'm secretly craving affection but I'll cover it up with a cool guy persona who 'totally doesn't need hugs'!" April and his brothers will just carry Leo around like that one ferret gif:

Post krang, however? That boy does NOT like shrinking down. It makes the room seem massive, never ending, cold like the prison dimension. And his brothers, normally a comfort, morph into large terrifying shapes, reminiscent of the Krang. But "EveRYThiNGs FiNE! DoNT yOU WorRY aBoUt 'ol NEoN LeON!"

Raph shrinks down the least. He's too big to enjoy the perks being small gets. Still too heavy to be casually carried around. Still too big to have a nice heated bath feel like a nice pond. Too spiky to have the same huggable qualities as the other two. Not to mention the only time he really feels comfortable is when they're all shrunk down at the same time because he's worried that he would not be able to help his family at the smaller size. But at the same time he'll have those moments where he wants to be small, to be taken care of, to be the younger brother. He'll never admit it but the others can always tell when something's off. They've figured out enough that while he can't really be carried or held like the others, Raph still makes a perfect lap dog/turtle and is perfectly happy to just flop down on someone's lap and enjoy the free scritches during chill hours.

Splinter thought he was hallucinating for the first couple years when the boys would just randomly change sizes until he actually caught the turtle tots shifting in real time. Then he just was like "yeah this might as well have been another thing Draxum did to their DNA"

Also I started writing a response before I reread the ask and noticed it said "could only shrink" so under the read more was my thought process before of how that would effect the growing part of idea 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

And to add on, what if it kinda works in the opposite way when they grow. Like the Scale for BA Mikey is about 1:10, so what if when he grew it was flipped so he's 10x the size instead of 10% (47 feet)

Same with the others. BA Raph is about 1:2.5 so 2.5:1 when he grows (15 feet). BA Donnie is a 1:7 scale so then 7:1 (37 ft). And BA Leo is 1:5.25 so 5.25:1 or 28ft.

Suddenly biggest brother is now smallest brother and the smallest brother, Mr. "more than happy to chuck himself off a building to do a cool trick" is now the SIZE of a building.

It think I'd be really funny/cool as an added thing.

#g/t #tmnt g/t #fandom g/t #rottmnt g/t #ask stuff #biblically accurate turtles

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teetlestansecond · 2 years

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saw the one about how the rise turtles are with reader's birthday and as someone who has massive birthday blues and absolutely avoids telling anyone my birthday, i instantly thought of this

seperate, romantic and platonic hcs of how the rise boys are when they realize they dont know female reader's birthday and neither does April. cue either solo or group missions into trying to find out her birthday. theres shenanigans of them trying to various methods like spending a whole year trying to observe in what day reader acts particularly different to try to guess when is it, trying to get through her legal documents (no avail she kicked them out lmao), simply asking her only to either get a different date each time or a hard no, etc.

when they eventually do find out, they come to know that its because reader doesnt really like herself and it just makes her overthink all sorts of things like how much time they wasted, their mortality, etc. and practically begs the turtles to not celebrate it.

they respect her wishes but still cant help that after finding out when her bday is, they act more sweeter and plan dinnner get togethers as a casual and "subtle" way to celebrate it and the reader appreciates all of it

as someone who has very mixed feelings about my own birthday i really enjoyed this one

rise! turtles x birthday blues!reader

Raph! ❤️

it’s a big brother thing, okay? Raph needs to know certain things. your favorite color, if you like coffee or tea or hot cocoa, when your birthday is. he just needs that information.

but after a year of being friends he realizes he actually doesn’t know when your birthday is. and after asking the others and realizing they don’t know either, he makes it his job to find out.

the first thing he does is ask, because he figures you’ll just tell him. much to his surprise, though, you don’t. you tell him it’s not important and leave it at.

and Raph genuinely doesn’t know what to make of it. of course it’s important, it’s your special day!

if you won’t tell him, he’ll just have to figure it out himself. he drops by your place and tries to look at your calendar. it’s not marked there, but before he can check anywhere else you realize what he’s doing and put a stop to it pretty quickly.

he tries two more times to find clues in your room but you thwart him every time and so he leaves it alone.

he pays attention to the other people in your life, hoping they might wish you a happy birthday while he’s in earshot or give you a gift.

and this is what ends up working for him. he catches your parents wishing you a happy birthday and he absolutely lights up.

he decides to throw you a surprise party and goes to get supplies with April’s help, but on their way back to the lair they bump into you and you realize upon seeing the party supplies that they must have realized today was your birthday.

so you quickly tell them both not to tell the others. your birthday is a tricky day for you, you don’t like the extra attention and the last thing you want is a party.

Raph doesn’t get it. he sees birthdays as things to be celebrated but you’re visibly upset at the idea of celebrating and so he asks April to take the party supplies to her place.

and while she does that, Raph takes you down to his room to talk it over. he tries to understand things from your point of view, which you appreciate.

you try to explain that you have a rocky relationship with yourself, and that because of it you don’t particularly enjoy.

and honestly? Raph can understand that. but he also tells you that your birthday is important to him because you’re important to him.

it’s sweet, but you’re still adamant about not celebrating. so Raph settles on a compromise.

if you’re dating, he takes you out on a date. it’s just the two of you, and it’s very lowkey. he’ll take you somewhere nice in the hidden city and will end the night by giving you a little gift. he never outright wishes you a happy birthday, and instead uses the day as a chance to let you know how much he loves you.

if things are platonic between you guys, he just invites you to hang out with him and the others and makes sure they watch your favorite movie while eating pizza. again it’s lowkey and your birthday isn’t mentioned, it’s just his own way of making sure you get to enjoy a nice day where he and the others can celebrate you without you feeling overwhelmed.

Leo! 💙

Leo is an astrology bitch and he needs to know your birthday early on, so he asks you early on.

you lie to him, and he knows it because the vibes don’t fit at all. but he figures if he asks you again you’ll probably lie again, so he just evaluates you over the span of a few months and then narrows it down to a series of dates he thinks are your birthday.

and he takes that finished list to the one person he knows would be able to tell him if he was right or not - Donnie.

because Donnie knows these things about everyone. why? no one knows, no one dares to ask.

and lo and behold, one of the dates Leo has suspected was indeed your birthday.

which is great, but this leaves a big question in his mind - why did you lie in the first place?

he swings by your place the day after he gets his answer so he can talk to you about it.

and you have to admit, you’re stunned he was able to figure you out so easily. zodiac signs are not supposed to be that accurate.

he’s pretty pleased with himself, but Leo only lingers on that for a little bit before he gets more serious and asks you why you lied to him.

you don’t want to talk about it, but you know if you don’t explain yourself to him he’ll probably tell the others and make a big deal of it and you don’t want that.

so you confess. you have a lot of anxiety surrounding mortality and your birthday makes it a lot worse. so you usually just hunker down and try to ignore the day until it passes.

and Leo kind of gets it. he’s been more worried about mortality than he used to be himself.

so he does his best to make you feel heard. but at the same time, he does want to celebrate your birthday. he wants you to feel alive that day instead of hiding away. so you both agree to let the others know, but to not actually celebrate if you don’t want to.

instead, everyone agrees that you can come spend the day in the lair and decide what gets done that day. if you want to just sit around all day, they join you. if you want to go somewhere, they take you. it’s your day, and Leo and the others are happy to just be there with you.

but if there’s any romance between you and Leo, he does start gifting you with plants on your birthday. they’re never big, but they’re beautiful signs of life and he hopes that they’ll remind you to enjoy the beauty in living even when you’re trying not to think about what comes after.

Donnie! 💜

let’s not kid ourselves. Donnie knows your birthday.

don’t ask how or why. he just does and he’s not going to explain himself.

he asks you about a week before your birthday what you want to do and you tell him you’re not interested in celebrating at all.

you feel like you’re falling behind in life and your birthday makes you feel especially aware of your perceived shortcomings. so you try and ignore the day whenever it comes around.

the feeling is one Donnie knows well, feeling like he’s falling behind in areas others seem to thrive in. he’s done a lot but it feels like for all his successes, he has so many more failures.

either way, he gets your point and doesn’t really try to push it.

he decides to make your birthday a quiet affair. he invites you to the lair and the two of you will do something small together before catching a movie or going on an adventure with the others.

it becomes a day to just relax and focus on you instead of your deeds, because Donnie wants you to remember that your value isn’t tied to the things you’ve done or have yet to do.

you said he could tell the others if he wanted to so long as he tells them not to make a whole deal about it.

Donnie absolutely refuses to tell anyone though, unless they bribe him or come ask him about the specific date.

if you’re dating Donnie, he usually invites you to spend the night, and you two hang out in his lab. sometimes you do something together, other times you’ll each do your own thing and enjoy the company of the other.

a few times the two of you just play music and dance. you won’t tell him, but that’s your favorite way to spend the night.

Mikey, featuring April! 🧡💚

it actually takes Mikey a while to realize he doesn’t know when your birthday is.

and of course he has to figure it out, because birthdays are important! and he wants to celebrate yours!

but April tells him that you’ve always been tight-lipped about when your birthday is. she’s never known, and she’s known you for years.

her solution has always been to get you a gift on her own birthday, which you’ve always found sweet.

because of this, most people assume you and April share a birthday, but April assures Mikey that you guys don’t.

this confuses Mikey, but it doesn’t keep him from asking you when your birthday is. and like April said, you didn’t tell him.

so, Mikey and April resort to plan b: breaking into school.

it’s a covert, stealth mission. they break in, get into the administrative office, and go through student files until they find yours.

neither does anything with that information right away, because they really don’t know what to do.

it’s clear to them both that you don’t want to celebrate, and they don’t want to throw a party or anything and end up making you feel uncomfortable.

the two of them talk about it nearly every day for months, and before they know it it’s your birthday.

and they kind of just wing it.

you find two gifts outside your bedroom door. there’s no name or anything on either one, they’re just there for you.

and a couple of hours later, Mikey and April both show up wanting to take you out.

if you’re dating one of them, they come alone and take you out for an activity date before the other joins and the three of you grab lunch together.

they buy you a slice of cake and you know what it’s for but they never mention it and you don’t want to mention it either.

it’s just a thing the three of you do, and it warms your heart every year.

#zennie answers!#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt headcanons #save rottmnt #i was working on this one on the train and it didn't save and i thought i lost the whole ask i nearly cried

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asexualotl-does-fanart · 1 year

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I return to deliver more fanart for Heroes that are half-scaled by @nicoleisaboat-blog ! Turns out combining my Rise hyperfixation with my life-long love for dragons is a sure fire way to get me to obsess over a fic. Well played.

So here we’ve got some full body sketches of my interpretations on how they look like as well as two more quick doodles from work.

(I feel like Raph is starting to compete with Donnie over being my favorite turtle. I mean

look at this guy. Look at him and tell me you wouldn’t die for him. You can’t.)

I wanna go over some design choices real quick (I’ll try to keep it short lmao)

Mikey is very Round™️ except for his horns which resemble the stickers on his plastron (as stated in the fic). Unfortunately I think they’d prevent him from fully retracting his head (I also think none of the others can retreat fully into their shells since their limbs, necks and shells are kinda massive compared to before. I do feel like Mikey would get the furthest tho).

Donnie is obviously the smoothest both scale wise and in regards to lack of horns and spines/spikes. Like I said before, shortish legs, long-ass neck and tail (bc softshell turtles’ necks extend). Kept all his tech and, most importantly, his eyebrows. Speaking of tech, his draconic battle shell was one of my favorite aspects to design even tho I normally hate drawing machinery. Figured I’d give it a dragon scale pattern to fit the aesthetic and I think it works well. Also, snoot.

I absolutely love how Leo turned out. Braincell 1 was like ‘what if we gave him this kinda snout’ and braincell 2 went ‘absolutely based, let’s do it’. His red “ears” extending all the way to the tip of his tail is an awesome idea and I wanted to make them a bit jagged bc parallel lines are Boring. I broke up his “mask” so it’d be a bit more expressive and to have some extra variation between all of them (it does extend almost all the way to his shell on the back of his neck). Possibly my favorite design element is that the base of his antlers look like the base of his ōdachi!

Raph still is the most armored among all of them but like, dialed up to 11. Extra hard massive shell, scales extra spikey, alladat. I also gave him multiple rows of spines kind of like an alligator. He has the shortest neck relative to body size among all of them, mainly because I feel like bulkier, heavier dragons tend to be more stocky or “compressed” I guess (plus variation value. I wanted them to be 100% distinguishable even without looking at their shells).

As you can see I am obviously Very Normal about this AU.

#tmnt #rottmnt #fanart #fanfic #dragons #fic art #rise mikey #rise donnie #rise leo #rise raph

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aquariumgirls · 1 year

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ok so i have an idea for a fic/series abt the turtles revealing themselves to the public and becoming new most beloved heroes n shit BUT. its also gonna be set in 2023 (current year) and so im getting some hesdcanons written down basically.

STARTING W BIG RAPHIE!

- raph is 20, has been on hrt for 5 years and works at a daycare in the hidden city ^_^ (donnie synthesized it bc they do that for leos hormones and their own as well)

- shes very shy going outside at first bc shes big (over 8ft tall!!) amd spiky but everyone sees her as the big softy she is immediately :] and well. if anyone says anything bad abt her theyll have to deal w her three menaces of little siblings

- she has a hello kitty tattoo on her forearm

- princess peach is her biggest style inspiration! she mends and hems her own clothes to fit around her shell and knits sweaters every winter and donates them to clothing drives

- cried at the amount of people who said "hi barbie!" to her both before and after seeing the barbie movie

- infiltrates leos twitter lives to pick him up by the scruff of his neck to make him go to bed and people go absolutely nutty abt it (basically: OMG SHES SCRUFFING HIM LIKE A KITTEN, LMAOO GET SCRUFFED IDIOT, LOVE HOW SHE TREATS HER SIBLINGS LIKE UNRULY CATS)

- diagnosed Big Dog Energy by twitter

- does makeup asmr lives on twitter and youtube bc people tell her that her voice is nice

- most active on her youtube channel which is mostly her annoying her little siblings (in her words: they've been annoying me for my whole life, time for payback)

- theres a meme of her standing in donnies doorway menacingly. she's holding a blanket. the caption was "im going to get burrito'd someone write my obituary"

- posts pictures of their siblings when they've been burrito'd. even april isn't safe

- one time april stole raphs phone and showed a photo of raph burrito'd instead

- pinned tweet is her crying over a nearly 7ft tall teddy bear plushie someone gave to her as a thanks for saving the world

- she has a custom build a bear

- fosters puppies and kittens frequently! has two foster fails. one is a greyhound named alice who she raised from a bottle baby, and another is a gigantic maine coon named ghost bc he's all white and blind. ghost wraps himself around her neck like a living fur scarf. the cat is absolutely massive btw stretched out heslike half her size

NEXT IS...NEON LEON

- leo is 19 and shooting up like a weed (7ft 2)

- frequently uses mikey and donnie as armrests to be annoying (donnie will bite him. leo is undeterred)

- has a sick ass bionic arm courtesy of donnie! always makes arm and a leg jokes w donnie bc theyre both menaces

- works at run of the mill :] may or may not have a crush on a certain bunny waiter...

- is actually very good at customer service

- is the second most active online, and the most open w his face and being seen in public! cried when a kid said that he was their hero and is haunted by the videos of it

- tried to steal a duck in broad daylight.

- dresses like a modern eboy sorry.

- has (almost) as many piercings as donnie! almost. doesn't have snakebites, but has a septum piercing, eyebrow piercing and hangs little earrings and general things from his mask tails!

- every time hes in the background of a video, he default dances. it doesn't matter where he is, whos recording, he *knows*. its become a meme

- casually refers to cj (who is 17, almost 18) as his son. refuses to elaborate

- can be found basking in central park when its sunny enough, usually alongside mikey

- loves to say "me n donnie are actually identical twins you just can't tell bc we're turtles"

- has a yt channel where he covers songs, usually glam rock

NEXT................DONATELLO W A BOOK IN THEIR HAND

- 19 like leo (04 babies RIIIIIIIISE)

- scarcely goes outside in the daytime but when they do they're usually in the most extra outfits they have. ("if i have to be forced into the sun, i may as well dazzle!)

- people kept asking them if they went to barbie or oppenheimer. they went to barbie, duh?

- has so. many. piercings. snakebites, septum, bridge, cheek piercings, eyebrow. half their face is metal

- unsuprisingly modern cybergoth.

- wardrobe is either black clothes or purple clothes.

- genius built is an actual fully fledged company now, and they are very proud! and also they make a lot of money. (they donate most of it to charity, because eat the rich)

- is the frequent victim of 0.5 pictures bc of their snoot

- has a joke asmr channel (plague doctor tells you that you're dying asmr, carpenter finds bees in your walls asmr, sickly victorian child begs you for money asmr)

- is Tall. they seem much taller bc theyre lanky as hell (6ft 7)

- frequently speaks at colleges, except when people hear that purple is speaking at their college they dont expect a Goth As Hell Turtle with a snoot to rival a borzoi. most people guess their aesthetic incorrectly and donnie thinks its hilarious

- there are compilations of them smiling/laughing over the internet. the most common one is them laughing so hard they can barely breathe after someone called leo "lame-o-nerdo"

- is most frequently spotted at the local target. they like trinkets

- one time a guy tried to flirt w them and they politely redirected him towards leo

- came out very nonchalantly on a live. donnie was texting someone in the bg of one of leos lives and the chat kept asking omg what r they smiling at!! and they looked up and said "my girlfriend duh" and when people started saying YOU LIKE GIRLS??? they started directly into the camera w a vaguely confused expression for 10 seconds straight before saying "of course i like girls??? im a lesbian??" and three echoing voices shouted "I THOUGHT YOU WERE AMERICAN"

- the clip went viral. obviously.

- theres a clip of donnie biting an entire watermelon and it exploding

- is actually very open to taking photos w people ^_^ loves it when kids come up to them and say they look cool/shiny. never fails to make them cry

LAST BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST.......MIKEYYYYY

- 18! though he doesn't really care bc its not like he can vote anyways

- puts graffiti up on the weirdest places

- accidentally mentioned knowing rupert swaggart on twitter. also accidentally revealed that his dad is lou jitsu which made splinter get a twitter

- has a tattoo sleeve in progress that works around his mystic scarring and also sketched out hamato clan tattoos for his entire family which they then all got

- suprisingly has less tattoos than leo. but unsuprisingly less than donnie, who went absolutely batshit.

- favorite tattoo is his tattoo of karai on his shoulder

- apprentice tattoo artist in the hidden city, also made his own hot sauce (and was the first turtle to go on hot ones. never broke a sweat ofc unlike raph who almost immediately started crying from the spice)

- was dared by leo to scream "IM MAKING FUCKINH MACKING CHEESE IN THE MICHEAL WAVE" from a rooftop. he did it, recorded it, and pinned it on twitter

- lethal puppy eyes can and will be used on anyone and everyone. its how he gets away w so much

- small still (5'11)

- sometimes shows up on leos song cover channel along w donnie

- posts recipes on twitter and instagram

- instagram is literally just pictures of food

- loves to go sunbathing and will sit in a quiet park for hours

- ate an entire orange, peel and all, in front of st least 12 children as a dare

- no piercings but has silly bandz hooked onto his mask

- visits local art colleges frequently

- showed up on donnies joke asmr channel (the video was my little brother reads an entire cookbook front to back while i lay dead on the floor. raphs cat decided to start kneading donnies shell halfway in and then promptly loafed on them for the rest of the video while mikey tried very hard not to laugh)

- met beyoncé. cried.

GROUP HCS.

- leo and donnie will take off their respective prosthetics as jokes often. leo will offer someone a hand and detach his arm. donnie has thrown their leg at people. more than once. theres compilations of it. theres an unexplained no context video on leos twitter of donnie in the living room, detaching their leg, opening a hidden compartment and then proceeding to shake out nearly a thousand fake plastic spiders along with a truly uncountable amount of batteries. the video ends with donnie snapping their head towards the camera and shouting "DON'T REVEAL MY SECRETS DIPSHIT" before lunging at leo

- theres multiple videos of the disaster twins being a disaster as raph slowly approaches from behind them, scruffs them like cats and then flings them over her shoulder like particularly unruly sacks of flour. theres also compilations of her holding her siblings under their arms like cats. donnie seems to be the most receptive to it, bc they could be angrily ranting snd then raph picks them up and they just. dangle. pupils dilated and content to be carried off.

- theres a video of raph gnawing on an impressively large tree branch in the woods, illumimated only by a phone flash. she looks almost guilty in it.

- mikey took a video of his three aquatic siblings in the rain and titled it "turtle zoomies"

the video shows raph contentedly soaking in the rain, tail swishing in a particularly deep puddle. leo and donnie are chasing each other at inhuman speeds while chirping. raph looks at the camera and smiles before donnie runs into her, to which she then decides it's time for cuddles. leo runs at the camera and the video ends.

- donnie showed up on leos song cover channel and covered both world is mine (obviously) but also to the hellfire by lorna shore, metal screams and all. people have begged them to make their own song cover channel but they just said "why make my own when i can just steal my brothers?"

- the turtles accidentally revealed having mafia ties ala big mama ("oh yeah we have a mom too! not by birth though. big mama!" "THE FUCKING LEADER OF THE SPIDER MAFIA??" "the WHAT.")

SORRY THIS IS REALKY LONG

#tmnt #rottmnt #tmnt hc #rottmnt hc #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #long post #postings #raphael hamato #leonardo hamato #donatello hamato #michelangelo hamato #rise raph #rise leo #rise donnie #rise mikey

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lizzylucky · 2 years

Text

Thoughts and Observations From The Movie, Part 2/4

Welcome to part two of the silly things and fun details I picked out from the Rise movie!

My sister and I often pause the movie here to reread the options on this whiteboard for destroying the key, and it never fails to make us laugh. My one question: when and how did they test Donnie’s stomach? He wasn’t even there!

Also, feels like a callback to TummyTello, somehow. It also leaves me wondering why Donnie’s Stomach was an actual idea for destruction, regardless of whether it involves TummyTello. Guy must eat some crazy stuff XD

Further content below the cut!

“So… You’re Running Out of Ideas.” by Syr E. Piphany.

Okay, okay, bear with me- I actually have a little theory for this one. This is a screenshot from when Leo asks Donnie to locate Raph. Donnie tells him that Raph is practically- and then that he actually IS- on top of them. What I noticed here is that on this visual locator he has, none of the little character icons are oriented the same way their real life counterparts are. All six characters are in the same area and standing pretty close to each other, and I would assume that, kinda like google location sharing or snapchat location maps, you have to zoom in further on the map to get more specific locations.

This kinda sounds like it’s going nowhere, but what I’m getting at is the idea that when multiple people are in the same location, given that we know the icons will not be oriented perfectly to the people they represent, they’ll probably appear in the same orientation every time.

Which would mean!! that Donnie has intentionally designed his tracker app to have icons show up with this orientation when people are close together, furthermore meaning that he chose to put his big brother in the center of them all on purpose. As an artist myself, this could be coincidental, but very rarely are things like this done without purpose, and I like to imagine it’s a subtle way to represent Donnie thinking the absolute world of his big brother; that he would turn to Raph for guidance even before Splinter, whose icon is on the other side of the circle from Donnie’s.

I also love that the icons for Donnie’s best friend and Donnie’s “twin” are on either side of his.

And, as one last afterthought, I think this could also be a subtle nod to how Raph’s krangification becomes the center of the story and main motivator for all the characters for a huge chunk of the movie.

Does ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS?????

That absolutely looks like a masked face in the biogrowth at the top of this building. In truth, it actually looks a lot more like one of the paper ninjas than it does the Shredder, but the similarities are still there, and it works as further evidence that the Shredder and the goals of the Foot Clan were all hinged around the Krang.

Is anyone else floored by the size of this skull that Krang 1 or whatever is sitting on? I always would forget about it pretty immediately given Leo’s cheeky “surprise!” here, but this thing looks like the head of a freakin’ dragon or something. I wonder what it is? And how it got to, let alone died in, the technodrome.

One genuinely non-serious theory my sister and I occasionally talk about is the idea that the technodrome is actually a massive egg, and this was the incomplete embryo of whatever it would have become. Further non-serious evidence, which can be seen in the next images, is that the technodrome, in spite of being extremely technologically advanced, is clearly… alive, not just pure tech. Actually, everything the Krang use seems to be bio-mechanical in nature, to some degree.

It will probably be made pretty clear here that Donnie is my favourite character, just a fair warning XD But man I love this scene- one, because of the Autism-ADHD solidarity shown between PB&J immediately previous, and, two, because it’s actually a seriously incredible show of strength from Donnie.

Many fans of Rise, and of Donnie especially, also have Autism (like Donnie is confirmed to have) and/or ADHD (including myself) and understand that sensory issues mixed with New Things You Don’t Understand can be absolute hell. Like, ruins your day, renders you inactive, unfocused, nonverbal, made to be a shaking ball of anxiety, hell. Not always, but the point still stands.

Additionally, and as much as I am all for Donnie’s softshell not being seen as a big weakness because it’s natural and still more protection than any normal person has (not to mention the advantages it offers him in terms of swimming and flexibility (also probably feels really nice for scritches and sleep piles)), it actually does seem a relevant point here that this is, technically speaking, the most vulnerable part of Donnie’s body. So actively choosing to expose it to an unfamiliar and highly advanced, invasive and living technology on top of the difficulties that come with the above described neurodivergent tendencies goes against his nature in so, so many ways, but he does it anyway.

Mikey being worried about his vulnerability here, in spite of feeling out of place before, makes a lot more sense from this perspective. Knowing all that, honestly-- it just never fails to impress me.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #save rottmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rise of the tmnt #rottmnt movie #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles movie #rise of the tmnt movie #analysis #screenshot #theory #rise leo #rise donnie #rise raph #rise mikey #fan content #it just me

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tmnt-obsessed-ace · 1 year

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I was about to ask about the Hamato Ninpo thing, if they would have it or not, but someone else already asked, lol.

Nice to know the kids (and Leonardo too?) will get their Hamato Ninpo, even though u being u, is going to make it harder for them to get it (curious to see how you do this).

Also, poor Leo, trying to raise and teach and protect his kids the best he can, but not teaching them their Ninpo, because he legit had no idea it existed.

Also, lol at Leo bluescreening that the person he thought was Karai (which honestly, I can see why he would think that very much), was actually Casey, and Gram-Gram is Karai (which, to be fair, if he had meant her before Casey, he might have put two to two together that Casey wasn't Karai, but Gram Gram was) instead.

I love, LOVE ur Future Leo look/design so far btw! I love seeing more future leos (Rise, 2012, 2003, etc.) and ones of the other boys too! I think ur design for a older 2012 Leo is one of my favorites so far that I have seen.

I also love this new AU of urs (another AU of urs that I love very much to add to the tab), sad, older, trying his best, tired, single father/mother of 4 (5, counting April) hell children /affectionate.

It makes so sad though, Leo has been apart from his first family for over a decade, but for the rest of his family, it has only been months for them. The poor dude.

Okay, now that I have said that, I have a couple (more) questions:

This is from an answer to an ask that I have actually already talked about in this ask, and I will talk about more here:

"The colored dots represent Leonardo's previous family. (In order Raph, Donnie, Mikey, Splinter, April and Casey.) Its a way to keep his old family close to him even when they're apart."

I love the idea of Leo having colored-items in honor of Leo's previous family (him having ones for his brothers, Casey, April, and Splinter. Ahhh, I love it). It is so sweet and sad. Though, I was just ging to ask about Karai here? Since Leo does really care about her too, and they are siblings? So maybe Leo might have something for her too?

"And the flower is a very pitiful very sad rendition of the 2012 Hamato Clan symbol

"Its supposed to look like this"

Ohhhh, interesting and cool.

My other question, and this is kind of a question that could maybe be directed towards other AUs of urs besides ur 2012 Leo raises the Rise kiddos (and gets Draxum ooze on him too; which is interesting), that being, and this stems from my love of Gram Gram Karai (and Karai in general), but do u think u might include some of that Karai and family bonding time cut content? Because like, Karai's death already heart-broke me (and Rise Leo too), but I could (and 2012 and Rise Leo and Splinter and everyone else too) be even more heart-broken. Also, I just want more of Gram Gram Karai and Karai with everyone else time. If you don't do this though, I totally get it!

Last thing, I am happy you are out of AO3 Jail and can publish and do stuff with AO3 again!

Thanks for the new SOTW update, and excited to see those other updates u have been talking about, whenever u can!!

I knew I forgot somebody and it was Karai. :/

In the final version of the ref sheet I'll include something for 2012 Karai. And I'll definitely include more Gram Gram time because we love gran gram in this house even though Nick cut off Rise before we got actual Gram Gram time.

Gram Gram's death will be fucking devastating for Leonardo. Because he got portal napped when Karai was assumed to be lost after Splinter killed the brain worm. (Ie. he disappeared the morning of Dinosaur Seen In Sewers, which means when Raphael encounters Zog it was because he was looking for Leonardo.) so in his mind this is the second time he failed Karai. The second time he cost her everything.

And it absolutely devastates him. Once the Shredder battle is over and everyone's resting he's gonna have a massive breakdown. :)

#tmnt 2012 #rottmnt

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moxfirefly · 4 years

Text

Yes I should be working on prompts (which I am) but this has been nagging me and I wanna write it out so enjoy. Here are some First Time™️ headcanons and how it might’ve gone down with a few realistic blunders here and there cause yes.

Needless to say nsfw under the cut

Leonardo

Ok so fearless himself first experience isn’t all the way of you catch my drift.

No seriously the first thing that happens for him is a blowjob which isn’t exactly how he expected his first sexual experience to go down like (was that a pun? wow)

Necessarily isn’t a bad thing, but let’s be clear Leo has that idea of the typical first time events, the candles, the ambience, all nervous touching etc

But then again Leo never expected to even get to experience having someone fall for him let alone want to be intimately involved with him

And it’s so out of the realms of how he dreamt or fantasized about it. Because his s/o catches him off guard.

It happens at Vern’s fancy af penthouse(all that Falcon money you telling me they ain’t hanging out there, he owes them lol)

But yeah it’s one of those get together nights, the gangs there with Ape and Casey. Musics playing, Casey set up beer pong, everyone is so engrossed in the game that when Leo slips out to find the bathroom he’s a little startled when you grab him and gesture him to be quiet

He’s even more startled when you get into the bathroom with him and kiss him like you haven’t seen in weeks.

It’s somewhat subtle cause you’re gonna run your hands down that plastron and admire how broad and strong he is and Leo absolutely eats that shit up he LOVES when you admire him and compliment his strength and hell even his looks

Leo’s brain becomes white noise when you get on your knees though and your hands reach the hem of his pants and there’s several heartbeats where you wait for him to say ‘keep going’ and all Leo can do is just nod, grip the sink behind him as a shyness takes over him when he feels his pants slide down

There amongst the music and group banter just a few feet away hes in some fancy bathroom with his s/o on their knees engulfing him and gripping him and honestly Leo’s meditation skills go out the window.

It’s not that long of an experience honestly and Leo is embarrassed that he couldn’t hold out a little longer, he’s also worried he didn’t warn you in time that he was about cum but you seem to handle the situation with grace and give him a smile even as you cough slightly. It really makes him flushed cause you look so beautiful right then and there and the two of you start giggling and laughing cause it just such a left field situation. It catches him even more off guard when you pull him down for a kiss and that intermingle taste of himself and your mouth hooks him.

Donatello

Listen I’m gonna catch flack maybe for this but Don’s the first out of his brothers who actually goes all the way with his s/o like fully

And it happens in the truck and it’s so unplanned because neither him or you expected the drive to end like this.

It’s a midnight roadtrip that takes the two of you through the more rural side of NY. This is Donnie’s way of clearing his head m, he loves driving so when he adds you to the equation it’s even more perfect.

The trucks been parked for a bit now and it’s not uncommon for y’all to makeout and be all lovey with one another

But on this particular night, the powers that be have you right on Donnie’s lap and that sweet makeout has turned a little more scandalous than usual.

Donnie’s no even sure to this day how it escalated to the degree of pants being pushed down and underwear disappearing but it happens and soon enough with each other’s consent to progress he’s inside of you and your running the show cause he’s terrified he’ll mess up or cum way too fast.

Surprisingly enough it goes really well, With minimal to no hiccups, the most being Donnie rubbing a little too hard on your sensitive nub/tip. He manages to last a decent amount of time (probably doing complex equations in his head to distract himself)

The aftermath is a little awkward although you’re both all shy smiles with “was that good?” “Did you like it?” etc and Donnie is gonna have to sneak his way into the bathroom once he’s home cause there’s a mess of stains on his pants.

Michelangelo

Also unplanned, more so literally an accident

It’s not the full experience of going all the way

Cause Mikey and you are hooked on kissing and pawing but it never truly escalated further than that

Until today of course

It’s the usual heated makeout session but your both on his bed, there’s music playing and the two of you progressively get bolder

The best way to describe it is basically dry humping. Dont tell me that wouldn’t be the way it goes down with him.

He feels you grind against him as the two of your feverishly kiss and Mikey’s already feeling a little too hard. Almost unvonsciously you both rub against one another, each grind and grip and kiss making the two of your too warm. Before you know it your both pressing your forheads together, thrusting against one another.

The first time you hear Mikey moan makes you moan right back against him, that alone causes his hips to stutter. It’s his ‘ohmygod’ that you basically swallow that makes you grip him so close to you, the trembling of your body as you muffle a long moan against his lips and Mikey cums, hard, in his shorts to the feel of your shaking figure shooting all that delicious oxytocin all over your body

You’re both so hazy and weightless when you come down from it. Mikey’s sheepish but tired smile so adorable, you two can’t seem to find a reason to disentangle from one another

Raphael

Raph is actually super Nervous™️ because he’s got a pretty big idea that things are gonna get heated cause you’ve been pretty vocal about it

But alas this boy has got some major body issues (they all do but it do be hitting him hard when he with you) cause you’re so perfect and pretty and he doesn’t want to harm a hair o your head

And for a huge FLIRT™️ he does get all shook up about not being able to deliver the goods, but alas you are there to encourage reaffirm and gas the shit out of him.

So naturally you make the first move and trust me he is so happy you did cause he was gonna pass out.

It goes down while he’s at your place and y’all watching a movie and for the past half hour you’ve been making cartography on his thigh and Raph honestly can’t even explain the first five minutes of this movie because he’s been on cloud nine since you started

You snuggle up closer to his massive frame and when you explore his inner thigh and press your lips to his neck, Raph is sure that he’s going to combust. You linger at the hem of his shorts and ask him if you can and Raph is embarrassed with how quickly he nods.

Raph seriously doesn’t understand how a simple movement like that (which he himself had done countless times) is just ten times hotter when it’s you. The softness of your hand gripping his already hard member and the way you bite your lip at the sensation of how thick he is

Raph sighs against your temple, he gets such a head rush with the first few strokes. Pride flows through him when he feels you struggle to jack him off one handed. But that quickly melts into shyness when you push his shorts down enough for you to be able to wrap another hand around his thick member.

There isn’t much of a hiccup, mostly that Raph barely makes a coherent sentence enough to warn you that he’s cumin, so there’s a mess and you know there’s no way your gonna get those stains off your couch.

He almost gets hard again when he catches you licking your fingers, giving him a look that puts him out of this realm of existence

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missingjackklinehours · 3 years

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when tomorrow comes 🌳

good gods i know it's ship day but this is solely a gen michael & lucifer & raphael & gabriel fic :')

Inspired by Sam & Dean's S.W & D.W carvings on Baby. Who's to say the Archangels weren't first in that idea?

Rating: G (Gen Archangels fic)

Special thank you to my beta!

Playlist & Fic available on AO3. (it's also under the cut, if you prefer that!)

Heaven's lush hills always seemed greener and livelier when all four archangels lay against them. A rarity the occasion was, a trivial shard of diamond in the cascading abyss. It always seemed that Heaven needed an archangel here, there, everywhere at once; It made familial bonding far more complicated than things used to be.

However, a special day plucked from each year never failed to offer the archangels plenty of time together. A day of thanks, a day where Heaven displayed gratitude for their eldest brothers—Michaelmas, the Feast of the Archangels.

Morning sun rays highlighted soft violets and dusk plums of aster flowers, a humble gift for the very firsts of their species. By nightfall, bright angel-made clusters of heat-producing hydrogen and helium littered the black sky in the name of each archangel. Fledglings flocked to watch the fiery protostars burn in the cosmos.

While Lucifer happily revelled in the praise, Michael hid his jittery hands by tucking them behind his back and flashed a polite, yet photogenic smile to his newest siblings. Raphael, seemingly indifferent to the holiday, remained by Michael's side, occasionally shooting their brother a subtly reassuring look. Jovial, yet also graciously wanting to include others, Gabriel mingled in the crowds with the fledglings to watch the protostars, enthusiastically explaining to Heaven's children how the young stars would eventually grow to become massive beacons in the night.

By the time the thick, yet routine night fog had clouded the view of the protostars, the flocks of angels had dissipated. It was their cue to leave; The archangel hideout awaited. Or, as Lucifer liked to call it: the Badass Lair.

The refreshing air genially accommodated them, the chilled wind carried their wings as they flew. There was always a sense of thrill around the Autumn Equinox, nearing Michaelmas—perhaps it was the comforting thought of familiarity, a high from nostalgia of sorts. Whatever the seed, it didn't matter; Focusing on the blossom of a sibling’s love and appreciation was much easier.

Raphael's garden always seemed to flourish increasingly with every rare gathering the four indulged in. Even midair, as they descended upon the immense greenery below, Michael had already begun to muse about how the banyan trees had expanded since his last visit. Raphael quietly, yet blithely soaked in the adoration from their archangelic brothers.

The softness of the grass, however, always remained the same. Lucifer was the first to land, being the quickest flier of the bunch. He cracked an astonished grin as he surveyed his younger sibling's growing garden, slightly pivoting to catch the vibrance of Raphael's indigo feathers amongst the blackness of the sky.

"Not bad, Raph!" The Morningstar loudly called out, adding more quietly with a snicker, "For a kid."

The thunderous sound of strong, flapping wings echoed behind him, prompting Lucifer's playful smirk to widen.

"I'm literally only four hundred years younger than you," Raphael's familiar voice remarked, and Lucifer turned once again to meet his sibling's deadpan expression.

"And despite the age difference, Raphael has created far better things than you have, brother," Michael offhandedly commented as he silently landed farther away from the pair. Lucifer's face contorted into a pout, and Raphael fought to contain their own appreciative smile at the eldest angel's words.

"Woooow, Mi! I'm hurt!" Lucifer faked offense.

The heavy fog of nightfall seemed to become almost pellucid at the very presence of Heaven's firsts. Peeks of sheer luminosity from the protostars of Michaelmas seeped from the impervious midnight clouds. Even the banyan trees seemed to lean into the comforting presence of archangelic grace.

Lucifer squinted into the elegant cloak of the night sky. "You think Gabe's gonna break his neck when he crashlands?"

Raphael turned their attention to the sky in search of the youngest archangel in question. "He's been getting better at landing. He'll do fine."

Lucifer hummed in response, brightening slightly when he caught sight of Gabriel nearing the garden. "Mn, doubt it. Wanna bet? Loser has to listen to Michael's fifty page manifesto on why ducklings are Pop's best creation."

Raphael blinked, looking over to Michael in bemusement. "Your-... your what?"

Michael's eyes darted to Lucifer to glare daggers at him, who only sniggered in response. A gust of wind washed over the trio, and frantic fluttering of golden wings broke Michael's glower. Beside him, Gabriel was close to landing—or rather, close to failing at landing. It was really more similar to falling, with his limbs flailing all about and eyes squeezed tightly shut in preparation for impact.

Michael sighed hopelessly at the sight, extending one of his grandiose fuschia wings low to catch his younger brother. Upon the soft sensation of Michael's velutinous feathers, Gabriel's eyes reopened in surprise.

"Hey, no fair! You interfered!” Lucifer huffed at Michael, who merely rolled his eyes and helped Gabriel to his feet.

“I almost made it, I was so close!” Gabriel whined, furrowing his brows as Michael thumbed a smudge of leftover party sweets that was stuck to his cheek.

“Next time, bug. You’ll get it next time,” Raphael reassured, and Gabriel’s grace seemed to relax at his older sibling’s encouragement.

Lucifer yawned, and the twinkle of the protostars above them began to reflect the dew on the grass. “M’kay, new bet. Last one to the tree has to listen to Michael’s manifesto.”

Gabriel perked up curiously and cocked his head at Michael. “What manifesto?”

Michael shook his head and stubbornly huffed. “I was two hundred years old, Lucifer. The duckling phase of my life is over.”

“Oh? So you’re saying ducklings aren’t the greatest living creatures?” Lucifer pried, exaggeratedly leaning his ear towards Michael to hear his response. Raphael and Gabriel eyed the two bickering brothers and exchanged amused glances.

Michael shifted uncomfortably in place in an attempt to keep in his passionate ramblings; He ultimately failed. “I never said that. Ducklings are the epitome of absolute goodness and commendable purity in the universe. The best traits of all of creation can be found in their small yet mighty little bodies. Not only do they bring togeth--”

“Blegh, no more lectures! Lulu, your bet’s on!” Gabriel groaned, spreading his sets of still-developing golden wings.

"'Atta boy," Lucifer impossibly brightened, his grin quickly returning. "On three! One... "

With one singular number down, Lucifer watched in incredulity as Gabriel mischievously laughed, a flash of golden feathers passing them all by. After the initial shock wore off, Lucifer briefly hummed, nodding in approval.

"Touché, little brother, touché," The Morningstar muttered to himself, before theatrically shrieking into the night, "YOU'RE DEAD MEAT, GABE!"

Gabriel's boisterous bursts of both elated and happily frightened screams in the distance elicited an endeared smile from all three of the older angels. With a whistling streak of vermillion wings, Lucifer chased after his youngest archangelic brother.

Michael and Raphael observed them in comfortable silence, the illumination from the protostars just bright enough to see the vivid colors of their wings against the midnight sky. As the breeze audibly raked through the trees, Raphael slightly swiveled to curiously peer at Michael.

"I'd actually like to hear about these ducklings," Raphael calmly stated, gesturing with their head towards the specific tree that Gabriel and Lucifer were headed for.

The blinding look of pleased excitement on Michael's face was enough to bring a smile to Raphael's lips.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

In contrast to the vivacious growth of much of Raphael's garden, the Badass Lair retained all of its youthful glory.

The haphazardly-built abomination of a fort from sticks and logs stood distinctly adjacent to the veiny streams of the garden. Across from it dwelled a meager hill of lush grass and florid lilac petals of asters—A place where Michael taught all three fledglings to fly, a place where Lucifer created his first defective star, a place where Gabriel grew the lavender flowers as a gift to Raphael. It was their safe haven, a site of alleviation and bliss.

In the center of both dear venues settled a special banyan tree— their banyan tree.

Against the smooth, grooving bark of their tree, Michael’s ginger fingertips almost seemed to purr. The swaying aerial roots that veiled the intricate trunk wavered joyously over his head, and in a sense, their tree looked overjoyed to see Michael. Behind him, Raphael sincerely watched at the way their older brother’s fingers reverently traced the markings on their tree.

“You know… it’s not just gonna disappear, Mi,” Raphael’s voice was soft, a kind whisper carried by the midnight wind. Michael’s hand never halted against the tree bark, marginally turning his head to look at Raphael with a sad smile.

“That’s true,” Michael’s gaze fell back to the etchings on their tree. “It just seems like it was yesterday when… You three have grown too fast.”

Raphael sympathetically tilted their head, stepping forward to place a soothing hand on Michael’s shoulder. Up close, the carvings on their tree stood out boldly, a beloved memory held close to all of their hearts.

Under the then-small aerial roots of their banyan tree, each fledgling archangel had carved their names into the young bark. Something to hold onto, Michael had stated, a bittersweetness as Heaven had first begun to flourish; The eldest had an inkling that duty would steal time spent together—And he was right.

Raphael could still make out the places where Michael had once helpfully guided Raphael’s shaky hand, the spelling mistake in Lucifer’s name, the heart that Gabriel had drawn after his name, and Michael’s near-perfect handwriting, even in carving-form.

“Lusifer?” Gabriel, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere, squinted as he approached the base of their tree. Both Michael and Raphael struggled to repress a thoughtful smile as Gabriel sounded it out again.

“That’s how my name should’ve been spelled!” Lucifer called out from above, and his siblings gazed upwards to catch him resting against an exposed branch. “Lucifer with a c… ridiculous! Looks like luck-i-fer.”

Michael’s rapture remained as he lightly shook his head. “Brother, you are just stating this because you lack efficiency in spelling.”

Lucifer playfully stuck his tongue out at his older brother. Michael scoffed in good nature, and Gabriel giggled at the sight. Raphael’s attention wandered outwards to the perched hill, a peaceful silence enveloping the archangelic siblings.

The argent light from the protostars shone divinely upon the lucid green and lilac of the hill, an invitation of sorts. The sifting breeze was cool, a grateful lullaby to its archangelic inhabitants. The night was the epitome of perfection, though not because of nature—rather, because of the familial love that radiated energetically from each of their graces. A comforting peace, a cherished silence of nostalgia lingered between the four… until Gabriel’s reticent, yet hopeful voice proposed a profound request.

“I wanna stay with you all forever,” His voice was dreary, a sweet innocence embedded into his tone. It prompted all eyes to shift to him. “Let’s stay together no matter what, okay?”

A beat of tranquility followed, their banyan tree leaned in to listen. Michael was the first to react, tugging Gabriel into a tight hug, a sentiment that few were blessed upon. Gabriel’s toothy beam was evident in his quiet giggles as Michael held him close, before the eldest pulled back with a gentle smile of his own.

“Of course,” Michael assured, crystal emotion brimming in his eyes.

A rapid flash of vermillion flared from the top of the tree, and both Gabriel and Michael’s squeaks of surprise induced a jump from Raphael. Lucifer, who had quite literally deliberately plummeted from the tree, now held both of his brothers in a deathgrip hug, a wide grin across his face.

“You’re a real dumbass if you think you’ll ever be able to get rid of me,” Lucifer sniggered lovingly, and Gabriel leaned into his brother’s embrace. Michael lightly elbowed Lucifer for the profanity, yet his delighted simper lingered on his face.

Raphael shuffled closer, eyeing their brothers with absolute admiration. Their hand moved to lightly ruffle Gabriel’s hair, who turned his cheery beam to his sibling. Raphael’s brothers observed them with a giddy sense of euphoria, the aura resonating a promising hopefulness in anticipation for their response.

“Without a doubt.”

#SPNArchangelWeek #this one might be my favorite of my own despite my crippling self doubt about all of them :D #archangels spn #spn archangels #my fics

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 Review: Still Possesses Turtle Power After All These Years

Cowabunga all you happy people! I freaking love the Teenage Ninja Turtles. I grew up with it from Turtles in Time, which was my first video game, to the 2003 cartoon, which I covered the first three episodes of last month, and on to present day as I re-read the idw comics after finally reading the original eastman and laird run of mirage, and impatiently waiting for Shredder’s Revenge to come out after a LONG drout of no good TMNT games. I”m a fan of these heroes four, their dynamic as a family, the endless possiblities that come from it’s long history and ablitlity to go anywhere in any genre, and the wonderful goofy shit that happens when you have a franchise about mutant turtles learning ninjitsu from a rat and fighting a dude covered in knife covered samurai armor.

So with me finally covering the guys after almost a year last month and with a new movie set to debut at some point this year, I had the bright idea to revisit the FIRST TMNT movie after way too many years of not watching it. This movie is anear and dear to my heart: When I first started getting into the boys big as a kid with the 2003 cartoon, I badly wanted more turtles. But back then it wasn’t nearly as easy to glom onto some more of the sewer shock pizza kings: Streaming sites with all the cartoons on them weren’t all that accesable, dvd’s were expensive for the 87 cartoon, Mirage wasn’t reprinting the comics in any meaningful way and my local comic shop didn’t have any at all and I could only play the SNES when my brother had it set up on occasion like at our Grandma’s farm.

As you probably guessed though there was one exception: the original 1990 movie, which I got at Walmart for 5 bucks and haven’t let go of since. It was one of my first dvds and is still one of my most precious. Said film hit the spot just right as like my beloved 2003 series, it was a mildly goofy but still fucking cool adaptation that stuck closer to the mirage comics, even more than the 2003 series would, while taking a few queues from the 87 series. This film is as precious to me as the 2003 series and a with a brand new movie coming up, I figured it was the exact right time to dig into this classic: what makes it still good to this day, what’s fun to point and laugh at, and how the heck Jim Henson got involved in this. So join me under the cut as I take a look at my boys first theatrical outing and why I still love watching a turtle.

No One Wanted To Make This: Before we get into the film itself some background. As usual I struggled a bit, but thankfully found some help in the form of this Hollywood Reporter article. It’s a fascinating read worth your time, providing an oral history of the film from the people who worked on it.

The film was the baby of Gary Propper, a surfer dude and road manager for the prop comic Gallagher, aka that guy who used to smash watermelons but now has instead opted to smash what little’s left of his career by being a homophobic douchenozzle. He found an ally in Showtime producer Kim Dawson who’d produced Gallagher’s special. I don’t think there will be more of an 80′s sentence than “Gallagher’s surfer dude agent wanted to make a teenage mutant ninja turtles movie”. Propper was a huge fan of the comics, and with Dawson’s help convinced Laird and Eastman to let them option it to studios.

It may come as a shock to you but the road agent for a homophobic watermelon man and a producer at a niche cable channel wanting to make a movie based on an underground comic book about masked turtles at a time when the two most recent comic book movies were Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Howard the Duck, did not go well. Every door in Hollywood got slammed in their face, even Fox> Even the eventual backer of the film, Golden Harvest, a hong kong action film studio, took months to convince to actually back the film.

Things did not get easier from there: The films writer Bobby Herbeck had trouble getting a story agreed on because Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s working relationship had deteroiated horribly from the stress so naturally the two could not agree on a damn thing and argued with each other. Peter Laird made a tense siutation even worse by constnatly sniping at Herbeck and feeling he was a “Hollywood outsider infringing on his vision and characters”

Granted the script was apparently not great... but Pete still comes off as a pretnetious ass who views his weird indie comic as THE HIGHEST OF HIGH CALLINGS HOW DARE YOU SOIL IT. And continued to be kind of a prick like this throughout the rest of his time with the property.

Thankfully the film found i’ts voice, vision and director in Steve Barron. Barron was a music video guy who knew the producers and while reluctant, eventually dove into the project rightfully thinking the film would need to be a mix of the mirage comics and 87 cartoon, keeping aprils’ reporter job, the turtles lvoe of pizza and their iconic color coding from the cartoon but adapting several stories from the comics as the backbone of the film. The guys liked barron MUCH better and things ran smoother.

Barron also brought in one of the film’s biggest selling points and it’s most valuable asset: it’s triumphantly awesome Jim Henson costumes. Barron had worked with good old Jim on the music videos for Labyrinth, and while it took some convincing since the comics were violent as hell and that wasn’t Jim’s style, Barron eventually got him on board. This naturally doubled the budget, but given Henson’s costumes STILL hold up today and look better than the cgi used in the platinum dunes films... it was a good call. And this was brand new tech for jim, having to invent tons of new ideas and mechanisms just to make the things work, and said things still were absolute hell on the actors. Jim later ended up not liking the film for being too violent... which I find hilarious given how many muppets got eaten or blowed up real good on his show but regardless, I thank this legendary and wonderful man as without him this film WOULD NOT have worked. The costumes here look great, feel realistic, and you can’t tell the actors were dubbed much less horribly suffering in those suits. Much like Disney Land.

The film would get picked up for distribution by New Line, and despite i’ts weird as hell origins and the long shot it had.. the film was a MASSIVE hit at the box office, owing to a combination of Batman 89 the previous year having proved comic book movies can work for audiences, the cartoon’s runaway sucess, and a massive marketing campaign. The film made it’s mark. So now we know how we got here let’s get into the film itself.

What’s the Story Morning Glory?:

So the story for this one is largely cobbled together from some of the more notable arcs Eastman and Laird did before handing off the book to others full time as the stress of the company and the mounting tension with each other made it near impossible to work together on the book itself.

To Save time i’m just going through what hte movie takes from the comics plot wise now to save me the trouble later:The movie takes elements from the first issue (The Turtles, Splinter and Shredder’s backstories, Shredder being fully human and the main antagonist, Shredder’s design and the final rooftop showdown that results in Shredder’s death), second and third, (April’s apartment over her dad’s old store and the turtles moving in when their home is ransacked and splinter has gone missing), the rapheal micro series (A tounge in cheek way of cashing in on the Mini-Series craze of the 80s, a one shot by modern standards and something that’s tragically been underused as an idea as only TMNT and MLP have used the idea at IDW, Raph meeting casey and their fight with one another), the return of shredder arc (One of the turtles being ambushed and mobbed by the foot and then thrown though a sky light (Leo in the comic and Raph here), the turtles being horribly outnumbered by them, Casey coming ot the rescue and metting the non-raph turtles for the first time, and them being forced to escape when the place goes up in flames), their exile to northampton (April writing in a journal, casey working on a car with one of the guys and one of hte guys looking over hteir injured brother), and finally, their triumphant return which was very loosely adapted as there are no deformed shredder clones and shredder not being dead yet in this version was not brought back by a colony of super science worms.

So as for how this all comes together: Our story takes place in New York: A crimewave is high with muggings mysterious. There are a ton of phantom thefts going around and at most people have been seeing teens responsibile. And the police.. are at about this level of useful:

The only person doing something is April O’Neil, played by Judith Hoag. Hoag is easily the standout of the film, giving us a strong, confident woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She honestly might be my faviorite April O Neil, and given we’ve had some great ones with 2003, 2012 and Rise, that’s not something I say lightly. I honestly wish I’d recognized her in more stuff as she was both on Nashville and the mom in the Halloween Town films, and most recently was on the ScFy show the magicians. She’s a talented lady and i’m glad she’s still goin.

April is a reporter for Channel 3 like the cartoon, though for some weird reason her boss from the cartoon is replaced by Charles Pennigton, played by Jay Patterson, whose currently dealing with his troubled son Danny, played by Micheal Turney. Pennington is horribly useless at both jobs: At work he tries to ease April off calling out Chief Sterns, who refuses to listen to April’s evidence gathered from japanese immigrants that the crimes resemble similar ones in japan in favor of trying to get charles to shut her up. Danny meanwhile is a member of the foot becase his dad thinks shouting out him and talking about him like he’s not there and generally being a dipstick will actually do anything to help him.

I love the concept for the foot here. In addition to being a Ninja Violence Gang as always, they now recruit new members by finding kids without families or with troubled family lives and giving them a sense of family with the foot, and sweeting the bargin with a giant cave filled with arcade machines, a skate ramp and general late 80′s early 90′s kids goodies. Is it rediculous? Yes. Is it also clever as it gives Shredder an easy army of plausably deniable theives that he can pick the best out of to put in his elite that will be tirelessly loyal to him and him alone? Also yes.

So April being public about this stuff gets her attacked, which naturally leads to our heroes coming in, first in the shadows and later directly when April wont’ give up on the case and Shredder sends some ninjas to go shut her up.. which he does weirdly as the guy jsut slaps her and tells her to cut it out like he’s on a domestically abusive episode of Full House. Raph saves her, and we get the turtles origin.. though weirdly they cut it in half. We get the ooze portion but Splinter’s past with Saki, Saki’s murder of his master and his master’s partern Tang Shen is left for later in the film and the fact Shredder’s saki is treated as a big twist despite the fact the biggest audience for the film would be kids... and kids would’ve been familiar with the cartoon where the giant brain monster routinely screeches out saki at the shredder. Maybe Barron just thought he was an alcoholic I don’t know. It just would’ve made more sense to have it all at once and let the audeince put it together.

April becomes good friends with the turtles over a night of frozen pizza and camradrie, but the Splinters return home to find it ransacked, Splinter kidnapped by the foot, and are forced to Stay with april. Charles meanwhile tries to get April to backoff because he made a deal with the police to clear Danny’s record, without TELLING her any of this mind you, but I will save my rage on that little plot point for in a bit as Danny who he drug along sees the turtles and tells the Shredder.

So we get the return of the shredder arc as Raph goes through a window, our heroes fight valiantly, and Raph’s friend Casey who he met earlier shows up, the two having bonded as all true friends do.. by beating the shit out of each other ending with raph shouting DAMNNNNNNN really big and dramatically into the sky for some reason. The Turtles and friends escape with an injured raph from April’s burning second hand store. She had a second hand store it was poorly established and only there because she had it in the comics.

Our heroes retreat to a farm April’s grandma owned in Northampton, Massachutes, where Mirage was located at the time the original comics where they were exiled to the place were written and a location that has been a staple of the turtles ever since. The turtles slowly recover, lick their wounds, talk about who hooked up with who on gilligans island etc, before Leo connects with Splinter via meditation, who tells them to come back. Splinter also starts to connect with Danny and convinces him to swtich sides.. or at the very least squat in the boys old home.

The boys return home, find danny, and prepare, Danny goes back and ends up giving away the Turtles are home.. but the turtles are ready and in an awesome sequence kick the fuck out of the foot squad sent for them with some well prepared steam vents. Casey goes to get splinter since Danny told them and with Danny’s help, finds him, since Danny found out they were gonna kill him. Casey beats up Tatsu, shredder’s right hand man, and they get him out.

We get our final fight which is awesome up until the climax.. which is splinter casually tripping shredder with nunchucks and thier bloody history being kind of rushed and unsatsifying. Casey crushes shredder with a garbage truck, April gets her job back, more on that in a moment, she and casey hook up, and we end with the fucking awesome song T-U-R-T-L-E Power by partners in cryme. Seriously check it out it’s fucking triumphant.

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The song is just good.. cheesy? Sure but that’s half the fun. It’s the gold standard for movie theme songs for them and stacks up handily with the various animated series themes.. all of which slap. Okay... ALMOST all of which slap. Fast Forwards is aggressively medicore, which is doubly suprising to me since 4kids was REALLY damn good with theme songs. It was one of the three things they were best at along with finding VERY talented voice actors and setting japan based works in america because merica dammit.

The plot is very solid: It skilfully packed half of eastman and laird’s run on TMNT into 90 mintues while adding things like April’s job at channel 9, the way the foot recurited kids etc. The plot flows well for hte most part and apart from one annoying subplot we’ll get to never has a moment that feel unecessary or dosen’t pay off later. And the stellar plot and fun pacing of it helps boilster the characters that do work... and help paper over the ones that are so thin the’yd fall down a grate...

Our Heroes, Villains and Annoying Middle Aged Guys:

Yeahhhh character is hit and miss here. Some are rather strong, others are the bare basics for the character their adapting and most are just to serve the plot but some work some don’t, So let’s talk about it starting with our boys:

Raph is the most fleshed out of the turtles, being the main focus of the first 2/3 of the film, and having his anger be part of what SHOULD be a character arc, learning to temper it. And while granted MOST TMNT properties do this, to the point that Rise Raph is so loveable in part because his boisterous bruiser big bro attitude is a refreshing break from the usual grumpus we get. But at the time this hadn’t been done in every version but the 87 cartoon, so exploring it was valid.. but despite saying this should be a thing htey just forget about it and the most plot relevance he gets is going thorugh a window. He dosen’t really get a resolution.. his arc just kind of stops dead for the final half and it’s one of the film’s weaker points, one I only just now noticed on this rewatch. He’s still the most entertaining.

Leo is the weakest of the turtles. He really lacks a personality here mostly just being leader and while his spirtual side is touched on, it’s mostly a plot device. He’s just kinda the leader because he was in the comics to the point Partners in Cryme called Raph the leader. His role in getting taken out by the foot was taken by Raph, so he just has.. nothing to do for most of the film other than gripe at raph ocasionally and say orders. He’s probably the worst Leo i’ve seen outside of Next Mutation. I prefice that because after watching Phelous’ review it’s VERY clear those four are the worst versions of the characters, and no personality is still better than either having your team do nothing or yelling at them as your personality. I chalk this up to the Mirage Leo, and the mirage turtles to a poit being kind of bland. Not TERRIBLE characters, especially for the time, but not nearly as fleshed out or individualized as they woudl be in other adpatations, and with most traits LEo DID have, like his badassery flat out gone, he’s just.. nothing here.

Mikey and Donnie are a double act here with both sharing a brain. Interestingly instead of his normal genius character, Donnie is Mikey’s best friend and the two simply trade jokes and schtick together. The two are interchangable.. but easily the best part of the film and a lot of the most memorable gags and lines, from Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit! to “Do you like Penicllin on your pizza”, are from them. Thier there almost entirely as comic relief but it works, with both clealry being more modled ont he 87 cartoon turtles, a move that helps lighten the mood in darker moments. Their just genuinely charming and it’s intresting to see such a diffrent version of Donnie, and other incarnations, specifically the 2003 and Rise versions, would retain the sarcastic edge.

Splinter is splinter. That’s about it, he’s peformed well and the puppet is amazing but he gets kidnapped a half an hour in and outside of influcencing Denny, more on that in a moment, and finishing Shredder he dosen’t do much but spout exposition. He’s not bad or anything, but he’s essentially a rodent shaped plot device. He was also puppeted by Kevin CLash, aka the guy who does Elmo. So there you go.

April on the other hand.. is truly excellent. This might be my faviorite April. Judith’s april nicely blends the cartoon and mirage versions: She has the cartoons energy and job, but the comics sheer will and casual nature. Judith just oozes personality and her April is just a joy to watch, from her breezy chemistry filled interactions with the guys to her confrntation with Chief Sterns, knowing she’ll get thrown out by the asshole. She’s confident, and even when afraid dosen’t back down to her attackers and even helps out during the sewer ambush. I mean it’s a pot on the head but still it’s neat. She’s easily the best part of the flim and the most fleshed out of the cast. The worst I can say is they kinda shove her store from the comics, Second Time Around, in there for no other reason than it was in the comics: It dosen’t come up until it’s needed for the foot’s assault on her place. But overall.. she’s just fantastic to watch.

Speaking of fantastic to watch, Elias Koteas is fantastic as Casey. Seriously he’s only second to the 2003 version in my eyes, getting the concept of a testorone filled average guy who decided to just go out and hit people with sports equipment after watching too much A-Team.. I mean that part of it’s not in this version but it’s implied, just right. Like judith, Elias is just really funny to watch and his big scenes, showing up just in time during the foot assault on april’s place and his fight with Tatsu are some of the best parts of the film, the former taken directly from the comics. This version isn’t without problems: His friendship with Raph, his most endearing aspect and one that has been carried throughout eveyr version Casey’s important, with the only exception so far being rise and we have a movie to fix that, is absent here. HE does save the guy, but they don’t really bond or anything. In fact he disappears for about half an hour after his big fight with Raph. But... again he’s just so damn entertaining, down to his JOSEEEEEEEEEEE Conseco bats (There was a two for one sale!).

Shredder is just a LITTLE better than splinter, if only because his actor projects a true aura of menace and I feel this version had some influence on the pants crappingly terrifying 2003 version. And the idea of the foot recurting teenagers like I said is a good one: He gives them home and a cause, they give him plausably deniable backup. And his fight with the boys in the climax is really awesome... the conclusion sucks but otherwise h’es okay. Not the deepest villian, but he has enough presence to be enjoyable.

His right hand man Tatsu, whose been adapted ocasionally since this and reimaigned as Natsu in the IDW comics, a female version, is also fine. He’s your standard grimacing goon but has enough presence to work.

So that brings us to the penningtons. Charles, april’s boss at the station and his son Danny who’s joined the foot as he feels his dad dosen’t love him. Charles..is about as interesting and likeable as a dog turd and is the worst aspect of the film. No debate there, he just sucks. He sucks so hard he’s classified as a black hole. The film wants you to see him as a put upon wokring dad whose frustrated with his son’s increased moodiness, skipping school and crminal undertakings and just wants to help him and loves him deep down. The problem is his actor’s delivery instead of concerned.. is just pissed. He just seems pissy and upset about the whole thing and comes off like he’s only mad about Danny doing this because he’s embarassing him and not because you know, it’s bad. When confronting Danny about stealing, he dosen’t consider MAYBE he’s part of a gang or needs help, but just wonders “Why are you stealing when I give you stuff”. Because, Dipshit, sometimes kids do crimes not because they need the stuff but because they WANT to, and because they want to act the fuck out.

The most he does for the kid is agree to try and get April to back off the police when Cheif Sterns offers to let Danny go and not put him on record in exchange for it. The problem.. is this makes him even MORE unsympathetic. While I do get wanting to help your child, I do and it’s a sucky position... he again should be sympathetic.. but he handles the thing so badly it sucks. He just tells april to ease off, with no reason given, then fires her when she SHOCKINGLY dosen’t give up taking the guy whose refusing to take her hard work seriously or actually solve the crime wave problem to task for his shitty behavior as ANY person facing a shitty, corrput cop would. She just wants to hold him acountable and get him to actually do something. He clearly knows her on a personal level too as he talks about his issues with his son freely with her, something you don’t do with an employee unless their also a friend on some level.

He could have TOLD april what was going on. She’d be furious at Stern’s naked corrpution and prioritizing shutting her up over actually solving crimes.. and thus put at least some of that energy into shutting him down or finding a way around it, going to the papers or something like that. Even in 1990 pre-internet, there were ways to get around Sterns blackmail and expose him so someone who’d actually do the job could get the job. Instead he just comes off as a selfish coward who rather than try and fight the guy blatantly abusing his power and using Charles own son as barganing chip, goes along with it because it’s the easier option to simply bow to him instead of TRY and stop this. And it’s not like he’s even going after a beloved public figure or someone who could hide behind his rep: Sterns was blatantly failing a crime wave, April had called him out on his failrues and coverups multiple times. The public was against sterns.. finding out he tried to blackmail the media into shutting up about him would PROBABLY end him... I only say probably not because the public wouldn’t skewer him, but because police tend to escape consequences for blatantly murdering someone on a daily basis and Andrew Cumo is STILl mayor over in new york, the same city this movie takes place, 31 years later, depsite EVERYONE asking him to resign over a long history of sexual harassment and a more recent but still horrible history of hiding death numbers. I don’t doubt people being stupid enough to ignore this or the bilaws with cops being stacked enough for him to get away with it, but just because someone gets away with a crime dosen’t mean you shoudln’t try and go after them in the first place. Fuck. Charles. Pennington.

Danny on the other hand is FAR more interesting and I think gets way too much flack when it comes to this subplot. Unlike his dad, whose dead weight, Danny is intresting: He provides a POV character for the foot’s MO in the film of taking in wayward teens, and his character arc is pretty engaging, slowly realizing the foot dosen’t care and that hte turtles are the good guys. HIs actor does a great job and while not the biggest presence, he’s not a bad addition to clan hamaoto and I wish other adaptations would find a way to use him. The pull between doing the right thing and his found family is a good struggle. My only real issue with his plot is the moviies flawed aseop about family. It tries to contrast shredder and his using the kids blatnatly with Splinter and Charles really loving their sons. And it works with Splinter and the kids because despite being a tad strict, Splinter clearly loves his sons and works with them to help them. The problem is ENTIRELY with Charles and Danny. As I said Charles love comes off as transasctional: He either thinks he can buy it or just expects it because he shot a bunch of goop into Danny’s mom after two minutes of disapointment. It dosen’t work with them because neither option is good for Danny. His father is neglectful, chooses throwing his jounralistic integrity out the window over talking to his son or his best friend about another way, and abrasive. Danny is no saint, he does do crimes, but it’s clearly a result of a shitty upbringing and the shredder and co actually offeirng him the love he desperatly craves. Danny goes to the foot because his dad is bad at his job but the film never adresses that and just expects Danny to go back to his dad because the plot says so. Danny would HONESTLY be better off with Splinter. No really. Sure he’d have to live in the sewers.. but he did so for a few weeks in the course of the movie. He’s fine down there. Splitner actually cares about him and took an intrest to him and knows how to raise a child. Let him become the fifth turtle. An aseop about family is not a bad thing: Loaded subject that it can be given how many outright abusive families exist, i’m one of the lucky ones who dosen’t have that issue, family is an important thing and can be a source of comfort and support. But this film tells you you should love and respect someone who does not love, respect or value you because he spent a minute in your mom’s vagina and that’s not how family should work and is outright dangerous to kids in an abusive situation. Love the film otherwise but fuck this aseop skyhigh.

Final thoughts:

Overall though.. the film is bodacious. It’s funny, well paced, has an awesome cast, and outside of a certain bald asswipe... it’s a really good superhero film. Is it the best i’ve seen? Nope. Not even close and character wise most of them are as thin as a wet paper bag covered in ranch dressing. But it’s still a fun as hell with awesome corepgraphy, a killer soundtrack, seriously the soundtrack is damn excellent and only didn’t get it’s own section because I didn’t have enough to say and some of the best effects work i’ve seen in a film in the turtle suits. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to check it out: it’s a breezy 90 minutes, it’s on hbo max and it’s a shell of a time. Will I do the next film?

We’ll see how this one does like wise and such, but I will be doing the rise film whenever it comes out this year. So look for that and keep possesing turtle power my dudes. If you liked this review subscirbe for more, join my patreon to keep this blog a chugging, comission a review if you have more turtle stuff you want me to cover, and comment on this. What do you think of the movie, what are your thoughts on the review, what can I do better, what other turtle stuff would you like me to cover/ Let me know and i’ll see you at hte next rainbow.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles 1990 #leonardo #raphael #donetello #michealangelo #casey jones #april o'neil #the shredder #oroku saki #new line cinema #golden harvest #film #90's movies #the 90's #partners in cryme #judith hoag

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waterstar2016 · 6 years

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I recently saw a post about someone asking why some of us find the TMNT characters attractive. I’m sorry, I can’t remember who it was.

For me it’s Raphael. 99% holy fucking shit he floats my boat. Sure, he’s a mutant, he’s a turtle, and yes he has green skin. Don’t forget that he’s absolutely fucking huge. Swoon.

The reason I say 99% is because there is a part of me that is drawn to Leo. The control he exudes, those blue eyes, how each of his movements seem perfectly executed, and that strut! He looks like he is as almost as strong as Raph, just in a more compact form. And talk about kinky vibe, yum. The submissive part of me screams “YES!” to his persona. The scene in the first movie when he yells “Enough!” Leo flips in the air and tells Raph to back off after landing on the buildings edge, Katana singing and dust and rubble exploding away from his impact (Woah). April is backing up, hell, I would too with that gaze focussed on me. But part of me would be tempted to not move. Anyways…

I found myself wondering why I was attracted to fictional characters that weren’t even human (I eluded to this in my first post “Why?”) I’ll expand on that post. I’ve always been drawn to the big, strong and or burly type. The ones that you know could pick you up and carry you away. Vin Diesel makes my heart pound and I really wouldn’t mind ending up in a dark corner with him. I am not afraid of the dark. *grin*

So, here’s my explanation as to why my body sings at the thought of Raphael. Leo, I summed up above because this is going to already be a long enough post.

Raphael:

1. His size. I’m pretty tall for a woman and I am not delicate. Being 5’11 and not small statured (have a curvy figure and a little bit of extra weight that I am working my ass off trying to lose), I have a 36” inseam (impossible to find jeans at a reasonable price) I have always, ALWAYS felt like the “big” girl. I tower over all of my girlfriends, have been called an Amazon by friends and boyfriends (hence the idea for my OC Immogene) and have found that the majority of my relationships have been with guys that were shorter than me. I have confidence in myself most of the time, I just feel awkward in certain situations. I would be rich if I’d gotten a dollar for every time a guy would come up to me, compliment me, and then walk away. There were a few guys that I was with that I felt like that if I went on top, there was a small chance that I could crush them (yes I know, probably not gonna happen, but my head would go there) I love doggy style, but if the guys a little short, I’d have to kneel on the edge of the bed while more time is spent adjusting the height that my ass is at, than the actual fucking (“Shit, hun lower your ass, I can’t stand on my tip toes this long.”) Meanwhile, I’m waiting to be pounded into the mattress… I’m pretty strong. I lift weights a few times a week and do not shy away from heavy work.

I’m the one in the grocery store with the little old lady beside me who looks at me and then looks at the top shelf. I know she wants to ask me to grab something up there, but she’s afraid. Sighing, I will turn and gently ask “Is there something I can grab for you mam?” Crisis averted, she realizes I won’t pounce and I finally get a smile “O yes dear, could you grab me the olive oil? Thank you. Wow, such a tall girl, pretty though.” I’m the girl that guys get intimidated by. Have you read my fanfic “Two Shades of Green”? Immogene resembles me in so many ways and Brian’s character is actually based upon a few guys that I dated.

With Raphael, well lol, there would be NO worries about me crushing him. In fact, it would be the opposite. I would love the feeling of being utterly surrounded by his massive form. Don’t get me started on his thick fingers. Mmmm. Not many people can manhandle me (one guy I dated was 6’5” and could lift me with one arm…for the first time in my life, my mouth actually went dry. Too bad I found out he already had a fiancee *rolls eyes*…asshole) and the thought of being swept up and held by those gorgeous biceps draws an interesting tingle. For me to have to reach up to kiss him, for him to be able to put me where he wanted me to be? Bring. It. On.

2. His personality. Raph is so passionate. He has an internal fire. He has an attitude. He’s full of testosterone. He’s protective of April. He love’s his brothers. Raph and Leo may fight (a lot) but there are scenes in the where you can see the brotherly love. Like most Raph fans out there, I feel he is the type that is hard as nails on the exterior, but on the interior he’s a big pile of goo. I would love to be the one that could cool his jets (and then heat them up in different ways ;)). I get the feeling that if Raph’s character found someone, she would be his entire world (yes I know I am a romantic and a sap, but I try to let slowly ooze out, not flow over you like Niagara Falls).

Raphael speaks from the heart. The expressions on his face convey such raw emotion (thank you movie magic!). He’s a rebel. One of my favourite lines in the 2016 movie was “Normal, what fun is that?” Total high three for that one. I went to University and did two degrees at the same time. I target shoot, I can rough it in the bush for a few days (as long as there is a nearby water source), I fish, I can throw a baseball further than most guys I know, I love getting my hands dirty and am not afraid to open up a DIY book when my fridge stops working. I also love star gazing, wearing makeup occasionally to make my eyes pop and wearing skirts. Don’t get me wrong I know there are other woman that do these things…it just seems to be rare where I come from. Or, at least I’ve been told it’s rare. In the past those hobbies, skills and habits made me intimidating. I actually had one guy take me camping and who broke up with me shortly after (I found out the reason why from a mutual friend) because I could actually do what I said I could - start a fire, paddle a canoe for hours (I actually dragged him and that damn canoe over a beaver dam because he was scared), set up a tent, etc. He didn’t believe me when I told him I was ok to go camping a little off the beaten path (yes, I know, good riddance). I was raised by my father. He brought me up to believe that a woman could do anything she wanted to (my dad was actually a mentor for young woman in his field who were just starting their careers. He helped so many gain confidence and be proud in a male dominated career choice) I feel that Raph’s (and have personal experience with “Raph” types) personality would be drawn to someone who was sweet, caring and kind, but had a backbone. He would be the type to encourage you to be who you were (girlfriend or not). Reading a fair number of blogs I am not the only one that feels this way about this characters personality. I can see him really shy and afraid of rejection at first but not being able to resist testing the waters with an occasional dirty comment just to see the reaction. When he finds out that she’s interested. There would be no going back.

Referring to the quote about “Normal” again, Raph himself realizes he likes who he is at the end of the movie. Love that ending.

A violent teddy bear suits Raph to the T. Yes he can crush you, yes he would enjoy it (if you were the bad guy), but if you were someone he loved…those same actions would be expressed in an ENTIRELY different way. He would crush you to him and enjoy it just as much. Even though I don’t think he would admit it, Raph wants acceptance. Most of the time he expects the worst from someone. I often ended up in a not so great relationship because the guy accepted most of me (that didn’t take long to piss me off. I would move on to try again). I still struggle some days, but most of the time I am good with who I am now.

3. His voice. The timbre of it, the batman voice, the accent, and that chuckle. He can convey so much emotion in that voice. Good choice on the actor they chose to play him! One Raph Imagine even mentioned him singing to you! I can totally see that. I could listen to that voice for hours.

4. How he moves. Raph has a rolling walk. Shoulders moving with each step. It’s predatory. It’s fucking delicious. Combine how he moves with his never failing focus on his target makes me want to run and hide, but, in a place I know he will find me. The sit-ups on the pipes in the 2016 TMNT movie. His Sai piercing the metal in front of Casey’s face, when Raph doesn’t want him getting any closer to April. The motorcycle scene. I could go on. He moves instinctively. He doesn’t have to plan his next move, his body just does it. Imagining him doing that rolling walk, with me as his target. Hella yes.

For these reasons and a few more I haven’t listed here are why I found myself thinking of a mutant turtle as a partner to bump in the night with. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or me for feeling this way. We each have things that turn us on, grind our gears, lift us up or put us down. The creators of TMNT just happened to be very good in making Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo each exhibit a typical male stereotype. We are bound to find one (or more than one, or even bits and pieces of each) of those personalities striking a chord with our own.

There are so many fandoms out there. If you find one that rubs you the right way. Close your eyes and let your imagination run wild. Your thoughts are yours and yours alone.

Thanks for reading.

#why?#tmnt #tmnt raphael #tmnt leonardo #fantasizing over fictional characters

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