#I am driving myself insane. everything is exploding

[snepfeathers]

oh god my queue actually ran all the way out?? what the hell

[the-swaggy]

rudinn deltarune posting

[entropys]

had to pick up my sisters from somewhere and it was so crowded and im sick and in pain and worrying about the exam i should be at home studying for istg idk how we got home safe i was so pissed off i almost drove into the cars in front of me i fucking hate driving this country needs a proper public transport system so i don’t go insane

[hearts4chriss]

Watch ur mouth.

toxic!chris x fwb!blackfem

prompt: your out at a party with Chris ( wearing top left corner ) and you start to piss him off, flirting with guys, ur tits nearly being exposed already had pissed him off and on top of that ur attitude he apparently didn’t like, so he fixes it for you

ok so this wasn’t requested but she asked for the part where you flirt with a guy so - @buckys-cumdumpster 💋 semi requested

Contains: sub!reader!, rough!dom!chris!, face fucking ( hip thrusting ), car sex, stomach bulge, missionary, overstimulation, creampie, HEAVY degrading, pet names, hair pulling, dacryphilia, cum eating, unprotected sex ( don’t do this !! ), dumification!kink, mentions of safeword ( not actually used ), dirty talk,

lord.

Chris and I had been talking for a bit and he always manages to do some shit to piss me off and yet here I am. Going to a party with him after he just got on my nerves.

Nonetheless, this meant id have “a bad attitude” Chris calls it which already annoyed me so I decided I was gonna fuck with him.

I wore his favourite outfit on me the pants hugged my curves making ass pop out and them being low rise showing my dermal piercings and the fitted jacket made my tits look good as I didn’t zip it up all the way and this outfit would always result in something sexual, fingering or his cock buried inside me butttt I wanted to push his limits too see how far he’d go.

I finished my makeup and spraying water and putting curling products on my hair only zipping up my jacket too my lower boob allowing my tits to sit perfectly guaranteed too drive Chris crazy .

I grabbed my lip gloss and heard chris honking outside and I stepped out and hopped into his car.

Chris's eyes immediately shifted to my exposed chest and shifted his facial expression.

What did I tell you about this outfit? Chris sighed deeply gripping the steering wheel tightly and I smirked too myself already getting a rise out of him

Im wearing it like what is ur problem? I snap back running my fingers in my hair as it curved at my ass guaranteed to drive him insane.

I watch his jaw clench as we ride in silence before pulling up too this party he dragged me too.

I got out the car walking into the party disappearing in the crowd of people leaving Chris with his own thoughts.

The party had been going on for just about an hour and I had been lost in the music and alcohol. Nonetheless I wasn’t drunk but something tells me Chris was not going to be happy.

Playin games by summer walker & Bryson tiller played and immediately I rush too go dance, slowly moving my hips to the song.

this lasted before a guy, who was fairly attractive comes behind me moving my hips with his as I leaned back resting my head on his shoulder.

I look around the room and my eyes lock with Chris’s, he looks like he could explode any second, gripping tightly on his beer.

Chris’s pov

Is she fucking kidding me? I mean come on I’m way better looking than he is and he’s not even doing it right.

I know she’s only doing this to piss me off because of our little argument earlier. But fuck she looks so good

And she knows that my favourite outfit on her, the way it rests on her lower waist allowing her dermal piercings to show and how the pants hugged her curves outlining her ass just how I like. And then the fitted jacket to match- the way her tits rested from how she zipped it I wanted to bury my head in between them and inside of her

I watched how she moved her ass on his crotch and my blood boiled, knowing that’s supposed to be me, she’s mine, only I can touch her and fuck her as good as I do, hence why she’s never left.

Then she locked eyes with me and continued doing what she pleased? This women.

She shouldn’t have done that because she has no idea what I’ll do to her, god it just turned me on thinking of everything I was about to do to her. One thing I knew for sure.

I was gonna tear that ass up.

me clueless I didn’t really pay attention to Chris, I was consumed by alcohol and the sensual loud music filling my ears and shooting through my body.

Until I felt familiar hand, grip my arm.

��Let’s go”. Chris’s voice lingers on my neck pulling me away from the guy who quickly scoffed moving onto to another girl. What an ass

“Chris Chris ur pulling my arm!” I wince as he drags me out the party due to nobody paying attention and to the car pinning me on it with my stomach on the hood.

“You think that shits funny?” He says in almost a mocking tone before leaving a harsh smack too my clothed ass and I let out a yelp.

“Answer me I’m not playing with you.” Chris spoke lowly before repeating that same action.

“Chris okay okay! I’m sorry! I whimper and he chuckles standing me up.

"better, now get in the backseat". He demands and I follow and he climbs in shutting the door.

"I’m sick of ur attitude, you need to learn how to watch ur mouth". He grips my throat and I gag and nod.

"gonna put it to good use". A chuckle falls from his lips as he man spreads unbuckling his belt and I position myself between his legs.

"useless come help me yeah?" Chris rolls his eyes playfully and I sit up my nails clicking with his belt and pulling his pants down with his boxers allowing his hard and thick cock to spring out and hit his stomach.

The tip was a deep pink just oozing with pre cum.

"gonna suck this dick so good yeah?" He says spreads his pre-cum on my lips and I nod before sitting up.

"Nu uh, were doing my way, ur gonna take my dick the way I want". Chris smirks slightly before pulling my hair making my throat take al of him.

"Fuck- love that pretty mouth on me shit-" he groans matching my movements with his aggressive ones as he yanks my hair quickly and roughly not giving me time in between.

The slurping sounds of my mouth and his cock were almost pornographic as tears in my eyes already producing, Chris's moans shooting right to my core pulsating for him to be buried inside me.

"That's right be a good little slut and take it". Chris rests his head on the plush seats gripping my hair as he bites his lip my doe watery eyes meeting his seductive gaze

His hand gripping my hair forcing me to take all of his cock in my throat as a mixture of my salvia and his pre cum coats my lips and dribbles down my chin.

"Keep those pretty eyes on me, I wanna watch you- " he groaned as I peered at him through my lashes as he began thrusting his hips purposely as his cock hits the back of my throat making me gag.

"Fuck look at that- sound so much better with my dick in ur slutty mouth huh". Chris lets out a breathy laugh tucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched me struggle to take all of him.

Chris would not let up on his hip thrusts making my eyes water more each time as his dick size caused me to hollow my cheeks as he grips my hair tighter so get a quicker orgasm.

"that’s right you wanted to have all this mouth now I’m filling it with my cum-" Chris moans forcing my head all the way down my nose resting on his lower abdomen as his warm load shoots in my throat dribbling down as he lets me up his cum dripping down my mouth.

"Speechless already?" He chuckles wiping his thumb along my bottom lip collecting the excess semen slipping it into my mouth as I sucked it clean.

"Good girl. Now strip." He demanded manspreading as I unzipped my jacket first freeing my tits as I sat up pulling down my leggings revealing my red lace thong, Chris’s favorite

"wearing my favorite pair of panties huh? While grinding on some other guy?" Chris spoke angrily and shakes his head placing me back flat on the car seats.

"You just couldn’t wait to be fucked by me. Isn’t that right sweetheart?" His hand grips my face as he spoke in a coax voice and a whimpered at the sudden grasp.

"yeah you like it when I do this to you? Gripping you up like a whore? Huh?" He squeezed slightly harder and I nodded.

"Yes Chris I love it when you do this to me-" I groan feeling my lips smushed together and he smirked releasing his grip.

He leaned up taking off his jeans and boxers fully and his black hoodie.

He pulls me close gripping my legs pushing them up on his shoulders before slamming into me as I let out a loud moan.

"Shit ma- such a tight fuckin pussy- all for me right?" Chris let out a deep moan as he pushed his hips against the back of my thighs roughly knocking the wind out of my lunges.

"Fuck Chris s-slow down!" I cry out feeling his size burn into my pussy as he didn’t let me adjust the way I wanted, he was pissed.

"oh really? You don’t want this? Maybe I should call the other guy yeah?" He rests his forearm behind my head pressing our bodies together my legs in the air.

"fuck fuck no! I-I only want you!" I whimper as my eyes met his dark lustful blues his jaw clenched at the sight of me.

"good girl, sound so much better on my cock." His breath was on my neck before he positioned my legs back on his shoulders gripping my waist tightly snapping his hips with the back of my thighs abusing my cunt

At the pace he was going I couldn’t even think straight, the way his dick perfectly filled me up and his deep groans filled my ears.

"Oh fuck- Chris ur so fucking deep-" my moan and whimper fuelled his ego more as I was going to be fucked speechless already feeling my vocals fade.

"Look at that- such a fucking whore". Chris muttered gripping my neck allowing his hips to thrust harder as I was now unable to even utter words.

"shit- already? Where’s that attitude gone baby-" Chris gave me fake pout, pure anger and lust in his voice whilst he literally was fucking me speechless.

The position we were in allowed the tip of Chris’s cock to brush on my g-spot making me squeal slightly as the sounds of our skin meshing together fills the car.

"look at you, all dumb acting because of my cock so pathetic baby-" his devilish smirk grows as he watches how fucked out I look all because of his dick

"mmhm f-fuck Chris-" I cry out pathetically babbling as I shudder in his grasp, bound to leave bruises.

I noticed him not speaking and that’s when I noticed him looking down at my stomach seeing his dick poke through each thrust.

"yeah? You feel me in ur stomach? probably like this shit don’t you sweetheart". He mocked pressing a hand on my stomach and I moaned out loudly tears forming in my waterline

"you look so pretty when you cry mama". His expression softened for a second before that dominance took over quickly once more

Chris’s pace didn’t let up and my stomach began to tighten and I swore I was seeing stars, everything was a blur but fuck it felt so good.

"ugh- fuck your gonna cum- shouldn’t let ur slutty ass cum after the shit you pulled-" he says under his breath, a hint of his aggression still lingering as he reaches to rub my clit.

"better start begging baby". Chris looks at me and my eyes widen as I could barely even form words together and his request was way out of proportion.

"Fuck! P-please Chris I-i need to cum-" I whimper taking many breaths between my words hearing him scoff and how he damn near fucked me out of my vocabulary.

"That’s a good girl, cum on my dick baby show me how good I make you feel". That raspy voice of his always made me feel so many thoughts, just enough for that knot in my stomach to burst my cum began to drip down his thick cock still thrusting inside of me making me perk up

"C-Chris sensitive!" I squeal pushing his stomach away and he pins my hands above my head pressing his chest on mine being nose to nose.

"You know the safe word baby, better think fast because I’m not stopping". He breathes heavily onto my lips pressing a deep kiss against them as they swell.

"shit ma- your pussy feels so fuckin good- could stay in it all day-" Chris let out a breathy moan continuing to fuck me senseless as tears streamed down my face from overwhelming pleasure.

"oh god- Chris please-" I shudder putting my hand up and he immediately takes it holding him and he grunts feeling his own orgasm creep up along with a second one for me.

"I know baby your doing so fucking good for me- just one more yeah? He presses a kiss to my neck and I nodded as he rammed into me.

"fuck fuck fuck I’m gonna cum again-" I throw my head back and he didn’t prefer that so he gave me a look and my head shit up again as I gripped his hand tighter and he gave me a smirk.

"I’m not slowing down sweetheart- fuck just one more-" he moaned pressing his body on mine as our noses touched moaning into each other's mouths.

The tension was at an all time high, the car smelled like a sex aroma mixed with his cologne and my Dior perfume and his occasional “fuck” and my cries of his name as his cock twitched inside me of me.

"fuck- look at me I wanna see that pretty face when you cum-" Chris plants a deep kiss on my lips as I maintain eye contact with him feeling that knot in my stomach begin to burst.

"Chris I’m- fuck!" I screamed one final cry of his name before my juices coated his cock and lower stomach as his cum painted my walls.

We sat there for a minute catching our breaths before he spoke again

"You drive me insane baby-" he pants resting his head on my shoulder and I let out a breathy chuckle.

"What can I say-" I smile pushing my hair out of my face and he sits up sliding out of my tight hole making me wince.

"Shit you okay?" I didn’t hurt you did I? Chris scans my body carefully taking in the bruises of his fingers on my waist and neck.

"I’m okay- just tired and sore-" I shudder a bit when I meet his gaze, a soft one.

"When we get home I’ll run you a bath and we can watch a movie or some corny shit-" he let out a chuckle but that alone made me so happy.

I’d really like that. I say to myself but out loud I say

That's sweet- thank you Chris-

@mattsleftnipple03 @bernardsleftbootycheek @sturniolopowers@gdsvhtwa @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @worldlxvlys @chrisslut25 @princessbetsy123-blog @mattslolita @guccifrog@blahbel668 @mattsneezing @trickywritters @hearts4chris

@nonamegirlxsturniolo@luvmxtt @theyluv-meee @hoesformatt @luv4kozume @kikisturnioloo @itzdarling @pepsiimaxx @babyddolly @iiheartstef @junnniiieee07 @ast3ro1dzz@sturniolowhore @st7rnioioss @emma4eva@braindead4l @ihearttsyouu @kqyslyho3 @sturnsfav@sunsetsturniolos @sturniololoverr @stqrnstars @dlyansworld @chrisloyalgf @soimightlikeoldmen69 @abbie13sworld @lacysturniolo @sturniol0s @chrissgirlsstuff @luhsexcbihh @nicksmainbitch @rubyjaneaxx @love4chris @gamermattsgf @breeloveschris @meetballmatt @waydasims @vicsguitar

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dear Y/N

Oh my darling, my love, how I miss you.

I miss the taste of your lips on mine, I miss the sound of your voice, saying my name in such a gentle way. I miss the touch of your skin against mine. I miss the spark in your eyes when you look at me and the way you smile at me. My love, my everything, I'm sick of you being around other people, I'm sick of you being close to others. *You're mine, don't you understand? I can’t sleep at night, knowing that other people are admiring you, touching you, looking at you, being around you. It makes me go mad. My love. Mine to kiss, mine to hug, mine to hold, mine to love, mine to protect. I can’t stand the thought of someone else having their eyes on you and admiring you.

I don't like that other people get to touch you, get to talk to you, see you, I can't stand that. I can't stand the idea of you having eyes for somebody else, it makes me feel enraged. You're not allowed to be around anyone else but me. You belong to me. My heart pounds with fiery jealousy when I think of someone else having your attention. I want, no, I need you to be mine alone. The thought of another person’s hands on your body makes me feel sick. My love, you are mine, nobody else’s. Your touch, your smile, your laugh, your eyes.. those things belong to me. No one else deserves your love, but me.

Every time you speak to another man, I’m going insane. I can’t handle the thought of you laughing with them, talking to them and having that same sparkling eyes that are supposed to be reserved for me, for me. I get so jealous, no, not jealous, Angry, and I get the sudden urge to hurt all those people who have even the slightest interest in you. You belong to me and only me, don’t you understand? How can I not be jealous of others having your attention and making you laugh? How can I not be enraged when other people look at you, and they touch you? They are not allowed to touch you, only I’ll do that. I want you, all to myself. I want to have you all locked up in my room, all to myself, so no one can take you away from me.

Every time you’re away, my mind won’t stop thinking about you. It kills me every time I see you around other people, talking to other people. I can’t help but imagine all the things they want to do to you. I can’t help but become infuriated, seeing you laugh and smile as they speak to you. I want to be the only one who makes you smile. I’ll end anyone who even looks at you. Thinking about anyone else touching you, it drives me insane. I want to hold you tightly, until I'm the only thing you think of when you're touched, the only thing you think of when you breathe, the only thing you think of every second. My love, why must you make me jealous like this? Why must you keep my mind filled with rage?

My thoughts are filled with you all the time. My eyes search for you when you’re not around me. I can’t focus on anything else. I can’t focus on work, I cannot focus on my training. I cannot think of anything that isn’t you. You fill my mind, you fill my thoughts, and my heart. Why do you have to be so beautiful, sweetheart? Why do you have to be so perfect? You make it difficult for me to breathe. I watch you all the time. Every step you take, every move you make. I notice the way you walk, the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you talk. I know what you do when you think no one is watching you, I know everything about you, sweetheart. I know you more than you do yourself. You have no idea how obsessed I am with you.

I feel like my heart will explode every time you touch somebody; every time you talk to someone. I’m seething, my hands are shaking, and my body is tense. The thought of another person having their hands on you is driving me insane. I don’t want anyone else to touch you, to see you, to talk to you. I don’t want any other person to enjoy your beauty. You are mine. My darling, my love. I want to touch you all the time. I want to caress you and hold you against me, I want to embrace you. I want to kiss you. Every moment of every day, I want to feel your skin against mine. I want to feel your breath against my neck, your hands on my skin. I want to taste you, every inch of you, I want to be inside you. You consume my thoughts. How can I be without you?

I can’t sleep at night, thinking about you. I toss and turn in my bed, imagining you here with me, next to me, laying in my arms. I can’t stop myself from wanting you. I can’t stop myself from thinking about you. My heart beats only for you, my love. You are the only one on my mind, and this only makes my feelings and thoughts stronger. You have no idea what you’re doing to me, my sweet love. You have no idea how bad I want you, sweetheart. How much I want to lock you up and chain you to me. How much I want to spend every moment of every day touching you. How much I want to feel you against me, to hear you moan my name. How much I want to hear the sound of your heart, as mine beats in perfect rhythm with yours. How much I want to own you completely and utterly. No one should have you, but me. You are mine.

Yours, forever and always.

Hanzo

[sommerregenjuniluft]

ooh now I need to know your top 3 German wolfstar songs 🫶

aaaahh ok karfy letsgo

Gestört aber GeiL & Koby Funk feat. Wincent Weiss - Unter Meiner Haut

Und ich kann noch nicht nach Haus And I can't go home yet Denn das brennen hört nicht auf Because the burning hasn't stopped yet Ich habe Angst, uns zu verpassen And I'm afraid I'll miss the chance of us Ich habe Angst, wir lösen uns auf And I'm afraid we're dissolving Und es wird schon wieder hell And it's already getting bright out again Wir sehen alle Lichter gehen We watch all the lights expire Im Trubel noch ein leiser Kuss One more quiet kiss in midst of the bustle Lässt mich stehen You abandon me Nein ich lass dich nicht raus No I won't let you out Ich lass dich nicht gehen I won't let you go Und ich weiß, und ich weiß, und ich weiß And I know, I know, I know Und ich weiß, ich tu mir grad weh I know I'm hurting myself right now Doch ich trag dich, unter meiner Haut But I'll carry you under my skin Ich behalt dich, unter meiner Haut I'll keep you under my skin Ganz egal wie lang es brennt No matter how long it's going to burn

(i like to think this song is very Berlin Angel coded and i might write a wolfstar fic insp by the song one day who knows)

Schmyt – ALLES ANDERS (WENIGER IM ARSCH) feat. CRO

Du willst immer fühl'n, aber du machst alles warm You always wanna fell, but you make everything warm Vielleicht war ich nur ein Verlierer, der so tut, als wär er hart Maybe I was only a loser who acts all tough Doch wenn du bei mir bist, wird das alles ganz egal But when you're with me I don't care about anything Denn jetzt ist alles anders, weil du mich magst Because now everything is different, 'cause you like me Kann ich mit der Visage leben, die ich hab I can live with my face now Und was die Leute reden, ist ein bisschen mehr egal And what people say matters a little less Und die Welt ein bisschen weniger im Arsch, ja And the world sucks a little less, yeah Alles anders, weil du mich magst Everything different, because you like me

Ich weiß, um mich zu lieben, muss man echt 'n riesen Schuss haben I know, to love me, you gotta be insane Sie passt in meine Arme, doch ihr Herz ist groß wie Russland He fits into my arms but his heart is as big as russia Ein neuer grauer Tag, doch ich nehme ihn mit Kusshand A new grey day, but I'll take it with grace Mit dir wird Bus fahr'n zum Mustang With you, riding the bus is like driving a Mustang Ich bin cool bis zum Erfrier'n I'm so cool I could freeze to death Doch mit dir geh ich in Flammen auf But with you I erupt into flames Blumen explodier'n um mich rum, wenn du mich anschaust Flowers explode around me when you look at me Und seit du hier bist, ist die Welt nicht mehr im Arsch, ja, ja And since you're here with me the world doesn't suck anymore, yeah yeah

(-> guess which part i think is whose pov)

Edwin Rosen - leichter//kälter

Und deine Lippen sind lila And your lips are purple Wie die Blumen, die ich dir nie kauf' Like the flowers I never buy for you Die ich dir nie kauf' I never buy for you Und du schreist, "Oh, es ist kalt! Es ist kalt! Es ist kalt!" And you yell, "Oh, it's so cold! It's so cold! It's so cold" Oh, es ist kalt Oh, it's so cold Doch du sagst, es fällt dir leichter But you say it's easy for you Ja, ich sei doch so viel kälter Yeah, because I'm so much colder after all Darum bleibst du steh'n So you stay standing Bleibst barfuß im Schnee stay barefoot in the snow Ach verdammt, mir ist so kalt Ugh, damn, I'm so cold Und wenn du das nächste Mal frierst And the next time you're feeling cold Vielleicht frierst du wegen mir? Maybe you're cold because of me Wenn du das nächste Mal frierst The next time you're feeling cold Ist's am Ende gar nicht kalt It isn't even cold in reality

[inevitablestars]

hehehehehehehhe <— me cackling evilly while rubbing my hands together

sirius pls for the ask game<3

oh so you want me to yap

How I feel about this character

.... say it with me: INSANE ABOUT SIRIUS. have been thinking about sirius since i was a small child and i just never stopped??? attached myself to him like a stray dog and i cant let go. very very very normal as you can see. ill be thinking about sirius for the rest of my life i fear. sirius is just so complex and i want to root around in his head for hours. i could find something new every time i do. also no matter what fic i am writing i am inside of sirius' head it might not be his pov but i am in there and know how he would react to everything.

and like. there's so much there!!! his family the prank the marauders harry azkaban like the possibilities are endless. and because of all of the previous pieces (and more) or any combination of them like thats one fucked up little guy and it only makes me love sirius more

they are in my pocket and will be there for the rest of time

All the people I ship romantically with this character

the obvious, remus. can't go wrong there. put them in any situation and it will work. literally any.

and heres the thing, i don't actively read or seek out any other sirius ships but like... now that im being asked.... i could be convinced of others. give me a good and compelling story and i could be interested. some that fit in this category are: james, lily, wolfstarbucks, peter, kingsley, marlene. have i read most of those? no i have not, but if someone im friends with wrote any of them yeah id give it a shot. nothing replaces wolfstar tho nothing can

My non-romantic OTP for this character

regulus. i think thats obvious (<- guy who has never shut up about the black brothers) whether they are close and have a good relationship or havent spoken in a decade im gonna love it. they love each other more than anything else and soemtimes that drives them apart but sometimes it doesnt and god i will explode if i think about them for too logn it causes me phsyical pain

also the rest of the black family. in order of how insane they make me after regulus: bellatrix (she literally killed him what do you want me to say), andromeda, narcissa, walburga, everyone else

outside of the family though, james and lily. easy.

My unpopular opinion about this character

sirius can do no wrong. idc!!!!!!!!! hes never done a single thing wrong in his life. like yeah hes stupid sometiems but thats my stupid guy :( hes trying his best hes fucked up and has been since he was born its not his fault

also just like why is there discourse about his appearance. i dont see characters in my head but like idc if hes tall or not or if theyre whatever gender. sirius is hot and also a little guy.

also also he's smart. really fucking smart. he just doesnt always care so it comes off like hes not. and like he wants it to seem like hes cool and has his shit together but he is losing his mind all the time

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

that he and regulus got to reunite :( or that he didn't die. that would be lovely. or if you know his name was cleared and he got to actually take harry in like he wanted to that would be so so cool for everyone involved

[soil-just-needs-water-to-be]

Chapter 29

This chapter is so bad I swear but I wanted to get it done for people and I hope you like it..

Comments are most appreiciated

George's POV

A few hours after we had done what we'd done we were both sat with each other quietly just studying our own stuff with each other's company, it was peaceful and it really helped me having him there just the extra person to give you comfort, studying in my own got really boring and it was really starting to drive me insane but while he was there with me it helped a lot , every now and then I'd catch him mumbling little things to himself like "nah man your an idiot", or simple sums trying to work out his maths problems a few times I did notice him get a little frustrated and upset so I helped him through a couple of solutions on how to fix them because I know maths can be challenging and he's told me before that it was something he didn't like, but in turn he'd helped me through my English literature paper which I am eternally grateful for. Even though I was enjoying the peace and we were both getting work done there was still a little problem itching at the back of my brain that I needed to ask about. I was just scared to ask incase it wasn't my place too, but I think he could tell because in the last fifteen minutes all I'd done was stare into space or directly at him and he'd caught me a few times

"Hey my love , can I ask you something"

"If it's about maths darlin, it should be me asking you?" , I know for a fact he knows what I'm going to ask him so he's just trying to make light of the situation before it gets a little deeper

"No my love , I need to ask you about the other night" , I visibly saw him tense at the question and he dropped his pen in the desk and scrubbed his face over with his hands

"What about it gorgeous?"

"Can you tell me what happened"

"Nothing happened really , it was just a bad day", At this he picked up his pen and tried to concentrate on his work again but I could tell he was a little nervous, stressed out maybe and I don't want to be the person that causes that for him but I also don't want him to feel like he can't tell me how he's feeling. I don't want to push it I know he'll tell me in his own time but I'm worried for him. For now I just let him concentrate on his work it'll keep him focused for now but I know I'm going to worry about him. Getting back to my own work will be a challenge. I try I really do but it's hard and I can't seem to focus on it and I know he's watching me "George"

"Yeh?"

"I'm sorry, I know you worry about me but it's just if I tell you, you'll just worry more and I can't do that to you"

"My love , I understand it's difficult for you but I need you to hear me out here, we're talking and we like each other right , you would be worried if I was in the same position as you right ...", I pause for a second to let him answer which he does with a small nod. "You'd want me to tell you what was going on yeh ?" , he nods again slightly looking more sheepish and shy. "We'll then you understand that if I'm asking how things were it's because I need to know and of course I'm going to worry but it's important I know so I can help"

"I know you wanna help , it's just complicated Georgie, and I would tell you but I don't really understand why it happened , other than I was really deep in my own head"

"We'll we can start there , what were you thinking about , what was going on your head"

"There's just always so much going on my head all the time , I can't shut it up you know, it's so hard to feel comfortable when you can hear everything that's going on and theres just so much pressure in my head and it feels like I'm going to explode if I don't shut it up, and if I do explode I just get angry at everyone and I hate that , drugs or alcohol are the only way I know that makes it quiet for a little while , I can lose myself and feel like I'm not actually in my own body for a while" , Matty had shoved his books out of the way and was resting his face in his hands while his elbows dug into the desk that he was working at.

"What did you take?, it's okay if you don't want to say", I think I probably know the answer since it was only a few days ago when it happened last but if I can be more knowledgeable about how to help him when he's on a come down then it'll make things a little easier for him.

He looks a little uncomfortable, fidgeting in his seat "Coke, but I drank a bit too and I think my body just kind of shut down, because one minute I was okay and the next I felt like I was dying and that's never happened before , like you know the panic just over took me and I couldn't breath, I just thought we'll this is it , for a second I didn't mind which is the scary part"

"You...you don't ....you don't really wanna die do you"

"Not right now I don't no, but in the moment I didn't mind for just a second, I'm not going anywhere though darling I promise , I just find it hard sometimes"

"How does it feel when your on a come down , from what I know about drugs there's always a come down" I'd moved over to my bed at this point my work completely forgotten about, the bed being more comfortable.

"I either get really clingy to people cuz I'm in pain or I'm just angry and I hate that. It usually happens a couple hours after , Ross is really good at dealing with me he's been doing it a long time loads more times than he should really, I mean I'm always clingy so I'd understand that he can deal with that but when I'm angry he deals with it so we'll I couldn't ask for anyone better"

I know Ross is his best friend but I still couldn't help but resent him a little, it's maybe even jealousy that he gets to be with Matty as much as he wants he can just go see him anytime he likes, sees him at his best and can help him through his worse. Ross is amazing from what I've seen over the weekend he's a wonderful guy and I'm glad that Matty had someone but I'm just envy him a little. I must be thinking about it harder than I thought I was because Matty pulls me out of my thoughts "Georgie ??"

"Mmm?"

"What're you thinking about darling? , you were very deep in thought just then"

"I just wish I could be there , wish I could be the one you could rely on when your feeling like that"

"Trust me if you knew how it was really , you wouldn't want to even be near me, it just makes everyone around me upset and it's so bleak and dark for ages" I can see his eyes have begun to look glassy and I really don't want him to cry right now because it'll break my heart.

"My love trust me , I wanna help no matter how dark it gets . I'm here okay, We can talk about something else if you like" , I notice him shrug but only minutely if I wasn't paying close attention I wouldn't have noticed at all.

"No it's okay , I'm seeing my doctor on Monday so I'm going to have to figure out how to talk about it"

"We can do something else for a while though if you need , watch a movie or something take your mind off of it , maybe watch some more game of thrones I know we liked that " I watch him look up from where he'd been boaring a whole into the floor and faintly smiles at me "would you like that love ?" , Matty nodes calmly and wanders off to his bed and brings me with him as he settles

I let him get comfortable as he pulls his duvet around him even though it's only 3pm and cuddles up with his cozy cardigan again then I set up the show for us so he doesn't have too and can just stay settled up in his own little world "you look so cosy my love ", he just smile at me sweetly and nods to me as the show begins , the theme tune breaking through my room brings me a lot of joys , I know I've only just watched a few episodes with him but this feels like our thing and it makes me happy as well as the fact I can see it makes him happy aswell , he's so cute just softly bobbing his head along to it the episode plays as we both lay there basking in the events of the show , stealing glances every so often like we usually do. As the next episode begins I can see his eyes start to drift closed as he grip on the cardigan looks to be getting tighter. It makes me smile to no end watching him lose himself to sleep and not fighting it.

"George", I wasn't expecting him to speak as I thought he was half asleep and looked to far gone to even acknowledge that I was still there

"Yea my love?", I was also not expecting the next words to fall out of his mouth.

"I'm scared" , hearing that leave his lips as he drifts of to sleep makes me pause the show and sit up a little straighter. So I can concentrate on him and him only.

"Of what my love?"

" my brain", this comes out as more of a sigh mumbled as if he's not even aware he's speaking, sleep talking maybe but I still have to check if he really knows that he's talking

" why?"

Matty rolls over to lay on his back still gripping his cardigan his hair slowly falling over his face as he shuffles around to get comfortable. He must have been sleep talking as I don't get a reply, my first instinct was to text Ross to see if he's knows if Matty talks in his sleep. So I take out my phone and find him on instagram

George : You bro , does Matty talk in his sleep by any chance

I busy myself doing more work and cleaning my room while I wait for Ross' message, I pick up the pile of dirty clothes and bring it down to the kitchen leaving it in front of the washer as I'm not finished taking things down. Next to come down is the dirty coffee cups and a few plates that I haven't brung down. I bring the hoover upstairs with me when I go back up, I put my side of the call onto mute so as to not wake Matty then begin to hoover up my room it's such a mess up here. I never usually let it get this bad but I've been so preoccupied lately , after hoovering up my floor I take the nozzle off and hoover up the dust , ash and nicotine from my windowsill (rank I know I'm sorry ), when I've finished hoovering I take my laptop back downstairs with me to begin the washing and dishes .after loading the washing machine it takes me like ten minutes to wash my dishes leaving them on the drying rack to drip dry, my phone vibrates in my pocket

Ross : I don't know a time the lad doesn't talk, why ? Whats up ?

George : it's alright don't worry, I just couldn't tell if what he was saying meant something or not but it's okay don't worry

I slide my phone back into my pocket and turn the washing machine on, I check the dryer to see if there's clothes in there , there is so I get on with folding them into piles. Matty stirs after a little while, while I'm still folding and he sits up bolt right rubbing his eyes "huh?" , I move over swiftly to my laptop and unmute myself

"Hey hey hey , what is it?"

"G..G....G...George?"

"I'm here Matty , I'm here , what's wrong"

He's still rubbing at his eyes quite roughly , and coughing a little bit. "I think I was having a nightmare but....I don't...I don't remember...falling asleep"

"You fell asleep like 30 minutes ago my love, what we're you dreaming about?"

"It was like I was alive but like also dead and I was just walking around and like when I tried to speak to someone I either couldn't speak or if I could they weren't hearing me or they were just choosing to ignore me , not that scary I understand but it just freaked me out"

"Maybe it's because you struggle to talk to people and you brains just trying to show you how scary it can get"

"Maybe , what are you doing ?" , I know he's just trying to change the subject so he doesn't have to talk for now I'll let him out of talking. I bring my laptop over to the middle island in the kitchen and set it up so he can see that I'm cleaning up and I get back to folding the clothes.

"I just finished cleaning my room, but now I'm just cleaning up for mum"

"Awww mummies boy are we ?"

"Are you not?", the smile he gives back in response , goofy and lopsided like he's a puppy trying to understand humans. "What's that face for ?"

"You really are, aren't you?"

"Am what?"

"Mr Perfect"

[tittyinfinity]

Ok this is kind of a personal post but I'm putting it here in case anyone else relates

ADHD/autism related

Kinda long

Things that should have pushed me to get autism & adhd diagnoses a lot sooner:

Multiple stims throughout my whole life, but I've held onto one specific stim since childhood which is tapping things in a very specific pattern

Every social interaction is like a test that I have to "study" for – practicing every interaction in my head, thinking of all the possible things they could say and how I should respond without looking weird; closely paying attention to a person's each movement and tone of voice change in order to figure out which script to switch to; mirroring people because I don't know which social cues are acceptable to which people

Weird kid of every friend group that people only pretended to like because sometimes I was funny – always hearing that people are talking behind my back, boys making fun of me to my face while admitting to having a crush on me but not pursuing it because their friends would make fun of them

Embracing being ~*rAnDoM!!*~ as a preteen and doing things like yelling nonsense in the hallways with my other (now also diagnosed autistic) friend and wearing things that specifically pissed the other kids off

Oh so everyone else doesn't feel existential dread whenever they have to do one task? You're telling me people can have the motivation to complete a task before the very last minute when it's an immediate threat??

I'm really good at paying attention in class! All I need are my color coded pens of different thicknesses and my multiple colors of highlighters so that I can picture it in my mind (holy SHIT I had like 10-15 writing utensils on me at all times)

Wow I'm so so smart and at the top of my class!! ......oh I was just really good at standardized testing. Oh. Wow. I'm not smart outside of school. Shit.

HOW do people not feel emotion SO INTENSELY I just don't understand how people can just be OKAY WITH THINGS

"They overreact every time they get upset" "they're a crybaby" "it's not that big of a deal" yeah those were actually full on meltdowns! Yeah maybe it wasn't normal for me to be screaming and groveling over "minor" things!

I am walking out of this job right now because all of the noises and sounds are Too Much and I am having a panic attack at my desk. This must be because of the panic attack disorder I was diagnosed with

I can FEEL noises. Why can I feel them. Especially mouth noises. I grew up I a family with vocal/tongue/throat stims and I've had to wear headphones or put my head under a pillow bc while they can't help it, I also can't help that I have a physical response to it and it makes me want to explode. Repetitive noises and certain tones also drive me INSANE

No matter what you are not going to make me eat certain textures

Can't wear a bra or normal underwear without being aware of it all day bc it's all I can feel

Okay I'm going to start this task now. I mean now. Okay now. How about at 3. Oh it's 3:02, how about 3:30. Okay 4.

I am SO OBSESSED with this one thing that my entire life is going to revolve around it until it wears off for the next thing

Why do I feel like I'm so much further behind all the other adults at my age??? How have I not figured it out yet???

"The kid who asks too many questions" (especially at church)

I'm not going to follow this rule if it's not logical to do so

Having to fake a smile and engage in small talk with someone I don't know well makes me physically angry. Like not just annoyed. I want to explode and I want everything to explode with me

On that note: customer service jobs are worse than hell

I got so distracted with what I was doing that I've been doing the wrong thing this whole time

How many times can a person walk into one of their old classrooms and sit there before realizing they're not in that grade anymore

I've been talking to this person for an hour and just realized that I know them

I introduced myself to this person and they said we have met many times before

I can vividly remember every time I've missed a social cue and keep it stored in my brain so I can reference it for future situations. Also thinking about it makes me want to die

The same song/phrase has been on a loop in my head for a week straight now

Not everyone thinks in patterns and numbers specifically??

Nobody Fucking Tell Me What To Do

I very much also need people to tell me what to do because I fucking forget

(This stresses me out very much)

Idk if this has anything to do with it, but drugs affect me differently than others. My pain medication makes me energized and focused while making others drowsy. I can function and focus better after smoking weed. The only thing that fucks me up is alcohol, but anything else I've ever tried has made me feel more "normal" while everyone else around me is having a great time (I won't touch hard drugs because of this – I'd get addicted to meth or heroin extremely easily)

Apparently hypermobility can be an adhd thing? I got the record for the sit-and-reach test at all my schools and have always been able to touch the ground flat handed without bending my legs or stretching. I can also put my legs behind my head.

If I go through a major life or routine change I am fucking useless and mentally strained until I adapt to it

Me and my cats are Same

Half of my day is spent looking for objects I've misplaced

Well I'm on this website and that's a symptom too

[hiraethinhaven]

its kind of insane being in my early twenties because I am in my internship and working towards this highly important degree. I'm handling so many responsibilities and meetings and being everywhere at once while also dealing with the most gut-wrenching emotions and struggling against my own sense of cosmic identity. Im questioning myself, my religion, my parents, and also everyone I ever met and talked to. I constantly have these moments of extreme anxiety and I balloon out of my body and see myself from a third person perspective just sitting. just standing. i feel so insane and on the edge of something truly unavoidable. it feels like I'm constantly waiting on something bad to happen. its exhausting and taxing and mentally draining. I talk with my mentor teacher, my students, and my classmates. and then I sit in my car alone. and I just feel like none of this matters. on paper I can write yes of course this matters, you're working towards a degree, you're impacting these kids lives, you are establishing professional relationships, you're doing everything you possibly can! and yet. I feel so. resigned almost. like I’m just going through the motions. and all of this will fade away, none of it will Really matter, and I'll still end up sitting in my car. alone. I get in these moments of stabbing anxiety and my whole being buzzes and feels so insanely on edge. and these moments happen everywhere. when I'm laying in bed. when I'm driving. God I get so scared when it happens when I'm driving. I feel like I'm gonna explode. my head hurts. God its never stopped hurting. all this and I still just go to work. go to class, sit and read, stand and teach. I make food and eat it and feel nothing. I make tea and hold it close to my chest and all I feel is that physical warmth. nothing translates. nothing helps. yet I don't feel hopeless, just resigned. I just need to finish this. but then what? what happens after? what do I do? who am I even becoming. what do I get excited for anymore, nothing and everything. everything is overwhelming and I hate to think past my own hands. and maybe I'm just rambling and this doesn't even make sense to me but I’m sitting in class and trying not to freak out. I have a daily fear of passing out from the stress of it all. I get dizzy and disoriented just talking to someone because that anxiety grips me so deeply and fuck I don't know what to do!!

writing helps. its the one thing I come back to. writing helps. I talk and talk and so much of it is just bullshit and I overthink and overthink and so much of it is waste. I write and I feel relieved. like I’m not the only one with this burden. I'm handling it over to you.

[coffeewithastraww]

Jealousy kills

Jealously kills my confidence, it kills my mood, It drives me.

I wish you would go away and never come back. Delete yourself from his life forever. The things you take aren’t yours. The things you say are hurting the person you say you love. Take your words, and leave him alone.

I read the things you think I will never see. You don’t know I’m right under your nose. In his bed and on his chest smiling when he says he loves me too. Somebody who is mine and I am his.

So why am I jealous of someone who was a summer phase only to be forgotten some day?

Why do I hurt my own feelings by looking for the things I know I’m going to find? This toxic way of thinking is ruining everything I pride myself in and soon I will have nothing to be proud of.

The girl who came to him at the right time helped him through his sorry lifestyle. The girl who didn’t care. Free.

I want to be free like her. Confident. Never looking back at the people who watch her walk by whilst never looking down on you either. Shared love and unapologetically beautiful.

I can see why you distance yourself

I want to be someone who doesn’t care but I do more than anyone will ever know. So when I feel like exploding with rage and jealousy I just cry alone because I can’t let anyone know I wish she never existed. I can’t let anyone know I know the things I know. I can’t show you how much I care because it’s displaced. Its wrong. It’s unjustified.

I’m crazy. I’m insane. How do I let go of something that isn’t even holding onto me back but in fact pushing me from its grip. But I persist holding tighter even when it hurts because I need to know.

I hate this jealousy.

I want to know this is mine and nobody else’s.

How do I find something I’ve never had?

Let go of the thing pushing you towards a hateful existence. If it’s not meant to be it won’t be. If he chooses her I will go on living just as I had before on this huge planet filled with things that happen to us that are out of our control. Life is too big for me to cry about the things I can’t change.

If you can be easily taken from me. You were never mine to begin with.

I’m making up scenarios in my head for the time being to protect myself but for now I’ll listen to your heartbeat with my head on your chest and smile when you say you love me too fully aware that you love me more than any woman who’s ever even looked at you.

Misplaced jealousy and perfectly placed confidence make the perfect delusion and I love you too

[creepypasta-archive]

Requiem

by denizen of light 1445 A Jane Arkensaw short ass non-story? Jeff is barely mentioned... Weird. I guess it would fit anywhere in the timeline. But here it is CW// throat cut mention, blood, blade, pregnancy mention, Oregon mention Click below to see the full original unedited story

All I wanted was to be normal again. Before all this, I had friends, family, fun… I even had a crush on a boy… before I knew what he had become. Before I knew what I became, I was normal. Now I don't have that luxury. I am a freak, and will remain a freak. All I have to support me now is my knife, just itching to get that fucker's guts spilled on it. I meet up with of his targets, hoping that I might have a shot at the killer, himself. This internet phenomenon… nothing more than a piece of shit that went insane.

Still, what really drives me crazy, is that even though he took away everyone I loved, I still feel her trying to emerge, to become whole once more and dominate this shell that has become one with the demon inside. This night, however, is going to be my most victorious night yet. A man, by the name of Leus, has discovered he's being hunted by Jeff. He's ran across states to escape, and now my chance is now. In Portland, Oregon. They say the motto is "Keep Portland weird!" well… this is going to be one interesting fate for Leus.

"Time to put you out of your misery. You don't have to run anymore" I muttered to myself, as I spotted my victim running down 72nd street. I arose from the shadows and began to chase my prey into an alleyway. I got him cornered. I can run my blade through his spine right now… I prepare myself by laughing, and said "there's no need to run anymore, I'll protect you." I drew my blade and lunged.

"Watch it, Jane." The man, spoke as he grabbed my arm. "We are on, the same side. Knock it the fuck off." I looked into his eyes… I didn't see fear. I saw revenge, despair, and sorrow. I saw myself. I hesitated for a second and then tried to move my blade. Before I knew it, he twisted my arm to the point of almost breaking and forced me to drop the knife.

"Better quit trying to kill me. If you don't fucking listen to what I have to say…" He picks the knife up off of the ground, "I will take off your mask so you can see clearly as I rip you apart and feed you to the truly deranged."

"Fuck it." I said. "Tell me what you need to, and I won't kill you, I promise."

"First off, we both want Jeff dead. You have lost everything and so have I-"

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW IF YOU LOST EVERYTHING? I LOST MY FRIENDS, FAMILY, PERSONA, EVERYTHING!" I exploded.

"I know because back in Massachusetts, I woke up to see the fucker in front of me, and he knocked me out and bound me to a chair. When I came to, he had my pregnant wife bound to the bed… and he slit her throat, after stabbing her in the stomach. That was all the family I had… now, I want him dead more than anything."

Hearing him explain what happened, she couldn't help but feel sorrow, sympathy, and empathy. While I feel only as if I have a possible ally in taking down my nemesis. However, she spoke out.

"I… didn't know. I'm sorry, sir."

[colbyflask]

what i am doing here

listen - or actually read because you most likely aren't listening to this. if you are listening to this, why are you using text to speech?? or am I reading this out loud in the future? is there an AI out there mimicking my voice, impersonating my likeness to make an insane amount of profit? does this mean I finally got to blow up (not in the exploding sense), and act like I don't know anybody?

this little project is more like an exercise - I've been wanting to write for a long time. but not serious writing (at least not yet) - the last time I wrote something was exactly a year ago and that was a research paper for my last grade in undergrad (I got an A, like it matters). The process was terrible. Like most of my assignments, I held off for as long as I could and panic wrote in the hours leading up to the deadline. I missed those deadlines, asked for extensions, and used the pure fury of that panic to drive the assignment to completion. I pulled all-nighters, consuming terrible coffee which made me feel worse than it tasted. I couldn't feel my legs, and my head would be pounding. I ached for sleep, but my academic writing process forbid it. While my writing usually got me the grade I wanted, I wasn't satisfied with the product I produced. I always felt like I could've done more, that my arguments were weak, like I didn't know enough to put words on the page. Despite the fact that I formulated the words after hours of research and calculated planning, it wasn't enough. I felt as if I could've been doing so much more, but I just couldn't execute it. There was no joy in the process of seeking knowledge and repurposing what I'd learned, and I began to care less and less about the topics at hand. And when most of your assignments are related your interests in your chosen specialty, let's just say the process of writing becomes even more grueling. the vicious cycle continued, and I only managed to escape by removing myself from that academic environment. I won't lie to you - I want to go back someday, but I can't do it the way I did before. I really don't think I'll make it out - so I guess this project/idea is way for me rebuild before I go back. Maybe something else will come out of it, or maybe everything will be exactly the same. I can't really say .

Writing is something that I used to enjoy - crafting little non-sensical stories that were the result of either weird dreams I had or ideas that came to me after reading a book that I loved. I never got into that whole fan fiction thing (I didn't have time and I was absolutely the type that didn't want to read something if it didn't come from the "original creator." I like to think that I've grown out of that mindset a bit, but I have yet to really read any kind of fan-fiction). I've wanted to practice writing for a while, going beyond the artificial research papers or timed assignments. I don't think I've written anything fun since the fourth grade (unless you count my dumbass tweets), and I've really lacked that kind of inspiration. I wouldn't even know where to start - what even is a writing process??? Here's what I do know - I use WAYYY too many hyphens (I had a professor call me out on it once). I enjoy using them. I like to think of my writing as listening to someone's thoughts, and the hyphens are another way to convey a pause. I also know that me and writing have had a rough relationship over the past few years, which is heartbreaking because I feel like I had the potential to be a phenomenal writer. That likely sounds egotistical, and you know what? It is. If I don't say it, who will? If I don't believe that I have the potential, why should anyone else? So there it is. I want to write, and I want to be good at it. That's why I'm here. But I can't improve my writing if I don't practice, so that's why I'm here. I'm going to write about what I want to write about, and I want to share what's going on in my brain. I want to do it on my own terms. Will people read this? Again - I can't really say. If you are reading this (because I wrote a lot - sorry), thank you. My goals here are to make this an interesting experience - I want it to be entertaining, but also insightful. I don't want you to feel like you just wasted five minutes reading gibberish. I hope you (and me) will stick along for the ride.

Something I've wanted to do for a while is write about the music I like. Like musical reviews. I have absolutely no qualifications - I just want to write about what I enjoy (or not enjoy), and I want to share that with the world. I spend a lot of my time listening to music, but it'll usually be the same thing on rotation until I feel comfortable to move on to something new. So I think that's where I'll start - writing about the music that I like and why I like it. I don't know how long it'll take me - I haven't decided if it'll be polished and proofread, or a jumbled mess (like this one). I haven't decided if it'll be one big post, or a conglomerate. And you know what? that's okay. I don't need to plan everything out. I just need to put something on the page (...or, text post in this case). So that's where we'll start - vivi vibing to vibrations (thx sofia for the name)

that's all I have for now. I'm not the most well-versed in this website, but I feel like I know enough to get me going. the rest will come. and on that note of rest, I need some.

'-V

may 5. 2023

[lord-aldhelm]

@garunsdottir

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have NO IDEA how happy this made me! THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to leave this comment/reblog! I am swimming in the air right now!! This really made my day! I am shaking rn, trying to calm myself so I can type....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

OK.

First, I totally understand why people would not ship them, and just appreciate their relationship for what it is. Honestly I get it; if they had been romantically involved I may not have been so crazy about them. I think it is the fact that his love was unrequited, unconsummated, and yet he stayed devoted to her that really pulled at me. He had no expectations of her returning his love, and yet he still remained by her side without any ill feelings towards her. I DO love how there are many platonic friendships in this series (Hild/Uhtred being a great one, especially since they do hook up in the books, gross....) And honestly we need more of this in media. Not every man/woman relationship needs to be romantic. Also I really do not like how romantic relationships between characters just get reduced to being each other's love interest without any depth.

That being said, I really feel for Aldhelm. He just loves Aethelflaed with his whole entire being, and he suffers so much in this show. I just cannot for the life of me understand how she looked at THAT and then wanted to go fuck Uhtred, I just don't. So, yeah, I ship them. Intensely.

And I CANNOT BELIVE I managed to convert someone, holy hell!

Also I am blown away that my work has resonated with so many people! Including you! Like I said in an earlier post (BTW OMG YOU ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH MY ENTIE BLOG AND READ EVERYTHING! ILYSM!!!!!!) I wrote this for me, and me alone. They were driving me insane, and I just started to write down all the daydreams I had, because if I didn't I was going to explode. I was never intending to publish it. Once it was done though, after spending over a year on it, I thought, what the hell? and got an AO3 account and released it to the world, for better or for worse. And I was just bowled over by the comments and kudos and bookmarks, especially as a first time writer for a work that, to be honest, I really was not sure was that great. if even one person loved it that was satisfaction enough for me.

On the world building and Aldhelm's character development: I did not want this to be simply a smut vehicle; I don't want that for them. I love Aldhelm to absolute bits (as I am sure you already gleaned from my unhinged blog), and I wanted to give his character depth, a backstory, some interests and hobbies, and make him more three dimensional. I did not want to reduce him to Aethelflaed's sex toy or love interest; I wanted him to stand out as his own awesome character. I also put a lot of myself in his character development, since, as an introvert, he reminds me so much of myself. I probably hit every trope in the book, but I have to be honest, I have never read fanfic before, and as I said I was just writing what popped into my head.

About the pacing (slow burn): So, originally this story was going to take place after 4.10, and the first 13 chapters were originally going to be flashbacks thus the episodic nature of the first half. But the flashbacks became so cumbersome and I had to move them to their own chapters as a story instead. So my main dilemma was this: in the show Aethelflaed died still in love with Uhtred, and never gave Aldhelm any consideration. How was I to make a relationship between them work? How could she fall in love with Aldhelm when she still carried a torch for Uhtred until the day she died? So I took the nice chunk of space between s3 and 4 to develop that. As I continued to write it, I realized I could not have her stay with Uhtred a moment longer, and thus the arc of the story changed as I was writing it. It is probably a lot longer than it should be, and more angst than I was originally planning, but it is what it is. I really could not remove any chapters; they are each so important to the telling of the story. I still may publish my original story after I clean it up, I cannibalized a lot of it for this one.

I know this story is not for everyone, and most people that read fanfic probably go for the smut and instant gratification. But I just could not do that. I wanted them to fall in love with each other and develop a real deep, lasting relationship with each other, and focus on that rather than sex (which is coming BTW). My kink is meaningful, loving, committed relationships with lots of mutual affection, devotion and respect. I know it is weird, I guess, but that is how I wanted to write them

I am so glad you loved the sparring chapter; I think that was one of my favorite chapters to write!! LOL!

Aldhelm is asking Aethelflaed to get rest from letters and spar with him while the weather is nice: and nothing can go wrong! Aldhelm, a few moments later: oh no, it all went so wrong! 

Oh and the Aelfwynn bits: yes, you are welcome! :) I couldn't not... she is also an important part of the story.

He did not want to destroy her life; he would happily suffer to make sure she stayed safe.

So this is a big part of his character that I could not change, and was integral to the story. He didn't just jump on her the first chance he had, and even when it seemed like she returned his feelings (she did) he still held back because he was more concerned about ruining her life than gratifying himself. It is something I could see him doing, tbh. It was the main conflict of the story, really, something he has to fight to get over. What can I say, we both know Aldhelm is a terminal overthinker. I really wanted to stay in character for him, and I honestly could not see him jumping at the opportunity to get into a romantic relationship with her without a lot of pensive introspection and consideration.

i've got to say my favourite chapters were 13 & 14, cause i am that angsty person who loooooves see characters suffer, feel deflated, and be eaten by the deepest, darkest thoughts inside and out

Chapter 13 and 14 were the hardest ones to write for me, because I really had to reach down into the pain and pull that out. Writing a happy love story where nothing goes wrong is boring as hell, even if it is deserved.

About the technical stuff (head popping POV), so I am not a writer, and I know it probably comes across as awkward sometimes. However, it was intentional; I thought it was very important to convey BOTH of their thoughts and feelings rather than making it one sided, or worse, just focusing on actions alone with no introspection. So I wrote it in third person omniscient so we can get both of their thoughts. I am not sure if there is a way to write it otherwise and still preserve the feeling of the story. You are welcome to DM me some insight if you want; I am happy to take constructive criticism, and I can apply it to the next story (I am already working on a season 2 one of them, starting from scratch as it were, and this one will not have Uhtred in it at all)

:)

➡️ Chapter 17 of Springtime in Saltwic is up on AO3 ⬅️

Title: A Long December

Summary: Aldhelm gives Aethelflaed a meaningful gift.

Start from Chapter 1

[starship-argo]

I finally did it! A prompt list specifically curated for this blog! Request away my fellow trekkies!!! (how to request)

blue=star trek specific

purple=random

red=angst

“Vulcans, jokes go right over their heads.” “Jokes are not objects there is no way they could ‘go over my head’.”

“He’s the best warrior this side of the neutral zone.”

“Care to explain to me why there’s 6 tribbles in that closet?”

“Join Starfleet they said! It’ll be fun they said!”

“2 officers, 1 alien planet, and 0 technology. What could go wrong.” “With those odds, I’d say there’s a 638 to 1 percent chance we do not make it back to the ship.”

“63 million lightyears away and you still find me.”

“It’s a voyage! We’re voyaging!” “We’re lost!”

“I don't think I've ever seen anyone screw something up that fast before.”

“You owe me!” “Yeah, 50 bucks not this!”

“What was that?” “I'm pretty sure it was the sound of 'x' falling down a hill.”

“Why do you have that look on your face?” “I'm deciding whether or not I'm going to kill you.”

“Don't you dare leave me in here alone.”

“Out of all the people I had to get stuck in a room with, it had to be you?”

“You scared me! Where did you come from?” “...The bathroom?”

“I've never seen someone so smart, do something so stupid.”

“You're not scared of me?” “Should I be?”

“Don't ever do that to me again.”

“You really never get tired of driving me insane, do you?”

“Stop.” “Stop what?” “Everything you’re doing, all of it.”

“Good morning!” “No.”

“What could go wrong?” “With you involved? Everything.”

“Why are you here?” “Why are you here?” “I live here!”

“You're an idiot you know that?” “I am entirely aware, yes.”

“I thought I was the one saving you?” “Then do a better job next time.”

“Honey, I'm home!” “You don't live here.”

“It's a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”

“Quit smirking at me like that, I'm serious!”

“Please be quiet, I can't even hear myself losing my will to live.”

“Is that... a lamp?" “Irrelevant.”

“I'm like 75% sure this won't explode” “75 percent?!?"

“Don't breathe on that, it's expensive.”

“Don't lie to me. I can tell when you are.”

“Leave. Leave right now”

“Don't say that. Don't say you care about me because i know it's a lie.”

“| don't owe you an explanation.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“You could have died.” “But you would have lived! and that's a sacrifice that I am more than willing to make.”

“I'm fine. Stop asking.”

“Just take it and go.”

“Don't say you love me.”

“I can take care of myself just fine.”

[rcksmith]

Secret — Five Hargreeves

Requests: “For Five Hargreeves — can I get 97, 91 28 and 35 for a heavy smut? And 40 from fluff? If it isn’t too much trouble!”

“If it’s not too much trouble could I do 40,53 & 91 from the smut prompts for Five ty honey 💕”

Smut prompts:

28. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

35. “Try to keep quiet. We don’t want to get caught.”

40. “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.”

53. “Well, since you want to cum so badly, why don’t we see how many times I can make you cum right now.

91. “guess i'll just have to cum in you then’

97. “You know, you always look so much better when I mark you up.”

Fluff prompts:

40. “Come cuddle.”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

I hope you guys like💖I decided to compile these two requests, since they were the same central plot. I added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down. Good reading.

Guys, I really understand who doesn’t feel comfortable reading or writing Five’s smut. But I always say that I only write with him (any genre: romance, fluff or angst) with the notion that Five is 20 years old here. All of my fanfics mention swearing or sex, even if it is a memory or something shallow, but as I am writing with Five as an adult, it is consistent that the fic has aspects of an adult life.//

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: explicit heavy smut, swearing, fluff too.

— — — — —

It was one of those warm nights, which carry a searing and heaving sensation in the back, which had a malicious tone in the air, which stirs your body to choose bad decisions, making your hands itch and your heart racing for something...intense. It was one of those hours that passed midnight, that breath was heavy with the expectation of something extraordinary, that skin prickled just with the images in mind.

And you were in that state. Heart pounding heavily, yearning for something, caustic breathing, the environment with an energy of lust. Well, at least you was like that.

Five did not share your line of reasoning, or, if he were not oblivious to the malicious moonlight that rose in the sky, he was pretending very well. Sipping a margarita at the bar in the Hargreeves mansion, with calculations in front of him taking all his attention. Normally, you loved that he focused on his own things. But now... you were seething with something that only Five could placate.

It was a few months ago that you went from just being friends with his siblings to someone he fucked hard at night. The sexual energy between the two of you was very strong, and it was very easy to make bad decisions when the bad decision in question was so fucking hot.

Five Hargreeves did things to you. You wouldn't know how to explain it with clear phrases, but his gaze made you shiver, his body made a very specific part in the middle of your legs vibrate, and his voice and that self-centered smile... God!

It was no accident that you surrendered. You would have surrendered to that battle a million times.

“Five.” You sighed softly, taking a sip from your own drink. “Can't you do this tomorrow?”

“No. I am close to solving this.”

You controlled yourself not to roll your eyes. You were never the most needy type, especially with people as reserved as Five, but, damn it, you were on fire. It was logical that you could go out and choose someone to placate that, but that would trigger many things between Five and you. He hated that you were with someone else, even though he himself didn't assuming out to you.

It are a delicate situation, you were friends with all the Hargreeves siblings, and it would be a racket if they knew that their brother was fucking one of theys best friends.

The warm evening breeze came in through the window and collided with the chill of the drink running down your throat, awakening even more lustful anxieties.

“Five..." You purred, got up from the armchair on the counter, still behind Five and slid your hands over his shoulders "Maybe...you might want to finish this later.” You whispered at the foot of his ear.

Even without seeing him, you could feel that he was letting go of one of his arrogant and malicious smiles. Five rotated the seat to be face to face with you, his legs spread wider to accommodate you between them.

“And what are you going to do to distract me?” That same defiant, boastful voice.

But the look he gave you made a shock of desire reverberate through your body. Five wanted to play? Okay, you were going to play a game whit him.

“Why did you…” you leaned forward gently, resting one hand on his hot thigh, leaving your cleavage exposed “don't try guess?”

You realized that he had swallowed hard, even though his posture had remained unwavering. Five looked down at you cleavage, waist, and slightly elevated butt. You approached him a few more inches, your mouth a breath away, the heat of the bodies being shared without even touching.

Five could drive you crazy and screaming, but you knew it could also drive him insanity.

When you leaned over a little more and your mouths were so close to meet, you changed the direction and reached out with your free hand to pick up Five's margarita behind him. You straightened up and away, with a mischievous smile on your lips that revealed that everything had gone as planned.

Five semi closed his eyes at you, a fiery glow going through his eyes.

“Do you want to play with me?”His voice was low, dangerous “You know what happens to you when you challenge me.”

It was a warning, clear and resonant. You were a good girl for Five because you knew the strength that he could fuck you. Fuck, he could break you if he want. But now you were sexually frustrated, aroused, with a racing heart and wheezing from the expectation of something.

A night of bad decisions.

“You don't want to get out of your equations.” You turned your voice into something innocent, soft, provocative, and the strong breath that Five drew was a small victory for you "I guess I'll just get off all by myself."

Your smile was malicious, causticante, but as soon as Five got up from that chair, the perfect posture, much taller than you, and was slowly towards you, like a predator with its prey, you knew you were screwed.

“Do you want to come this much?” His fingers passed gently over your warm neck, and you let out a breath with that stupid touch.

Five moved closer, your chest glued to his, the hot, citrusy breath of alcohol hitting your nose. Something wetted you panties, making you bite the inside of your cheeks to keep from sighing any louder.

“Would you use your little toy thinking about the times that I fucked you so hard that you couldn't walk the next day?”

That was too much for your already sensitive system. Those words went directly to the thread that connected your heart and its pulsating nucleus, causing a burning note to reverberate.

“Five...”the sigh came out, while the memories of Five using your vibrator to push you to the limit, while him fucking you brutally, prowled like a wild beast in your mind.

Five slid the fingers from your neck to your cleavage, brushing the tips of her fingers across the flesh of your breasts. Five stuffed his forefinger into your cleavage and pulled you to him.

You moaned softly, in a purr.

“Such a needy little thing, aren't you?" The whispered floated in your ear, while you put down the margarita at the bar and held your hands in his arms.

You bit your bottom lip, your panties soaked, your heart beating fast in your chest, the atmosphere more wild and fiery.

“You want this?” Five slowly lowered a strap from your blouse, each second speeding up your heart even more.

“Yes...” You sighed “I really want to, please.”

Then Five's touch got rougher and he held your chin firmly, lifting you face to look him in the eye.

“Beg.” It was an order, but your body was sending millions of feelings to you that you were lost for a second "beg!”

“P-please.” You looked at him pleadingly “Fuck me so badly, please.”

His grip got stronger.

“Once again.” Now the other hand slid roughly over your body, squeezing your waist, thigh, ass, anything that Five could mark as his property.

“Please, I'm begging you to eat me.” You really were, your body needed more, and there was no denying it.

So in the blink of an eye, the blue flash swallowed you both up and took you to his room. You were dizzy for a second, you were not used to his tricks. But Five used it as a bonus and stuck his lips to yours, stunning you with the strong taste of alcohol, desire and lust.

You moaned softly, your hands working to free him from his clothes, your lips corresponding to the battle. You managed to strip off his shirt layers and fade his pants, but Five didn't have the same patience as you. He didn't wait to undress you, he tore the thin fabric and opened your bra hungry, in a hurry, as if you were his last meal.

In a second his hot mouth was on your breast, sucking and nibbling at the needy skin aggressively, his fierce hands pulling you out of the other pieces of clothing. Five was not delicate, loving and caring, he conquered, took, owned, his goal was to devour you until his savagery was sated.

“Fi-Five!” You moaned loudly, your naked body now shaking with desire, your heart exploding in your chest.

You would have said something more if Five hadn't pushed you to the bed and made you fall into it. He pulled your legs apart, exposing you completely to him. His eyes burned with a dangerous and brutal fire, and Five slapped down the inside of your thigh. You screamed, arching your back, your hands closing on the sheet.

“Well, since you want to cum so badly…” Five climbed on top of you, his mouth proving the point where he had hit you “why don’t we see how many times I can make you cum right now.”

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, his mouth was right in the middle of your pulsating core. Eating, sucking, tasting everything you willingly offered to him so much. You moaned, or screamed, your hands tightly squeezing the sheet, digging your nails into the fabric.

Five ate you at an undisturbed pace, as if you were the last meal in the desert, clasping his hands on your waist to keep you immobile, sinking his mouth deeper into you. His tongue opened its yours walls, circled her clitoris and sucked there, leaving a hot trail of spittle. You moaned loudly, your waist trying to fight the firm grip of his hands to roll in him mouth. You felt a thread about to burst inside you and your heart started to race in your chest.

“F-Five!” You screamed when he sucked your clitoris, and he could feel you pulsing in his mouth, signaling that you were close.

“Come for me, little slut.”

The vibration of his voice in your sensitive flesh was the trigger you needed, you came intensely, your legs wobbly, your breathing heavy, but Five didn't wait for you to finish coming before climbing on top of you, lowering his pants and underwear enough and brutally get inside you in a fraction of a second.

You groaned loudly, your hands clasping his bare shoulders, your walls hypersensitive to the end of the orgasm that was still breaking free. It was too much for you, your eyes stung with tears, your heart was racing a marathon in your chest, and your whole body was shaking.

Five doesn't give you a second to get used to it, or to get down from the sensation of your orgasms, he set a rough, hard, badly rhythm, entering inside you in penetrations that pushed your body upwards. You spread your legs wider and wrapped them around Five's waist, your chest glued to his chest, skin-to-skin contact being the extra to drive you crazy.

It was too much for you to take, too much for your hypersensitive body. Five silenced your broken moans with toxic kisses.

“Try to keep quiet. We don’t want to get caught.” His voice was hoarse, breathy, broken, Five drives his dick so deep inside you as possible with every word.

“I...I can't...”You whimpered in his mouth, clasping your hands in Five's hot flesh, sobbing at the strength he put in you, you needed more.

“So let's take care of it.”

Five released an aggressive and rough hickey on your neck, putting an arm around your waist, sticking every inch of their bodies together, and his free hand covered your mouth, drowning out yours screams. You thought it was going to placate his hard rhythm, but Five started pulling your waist down, against his dick, and sinking deeper inside you.

“You wanted me to fuck you, didn't you?” Five snarled, looking into yours watery eyes "Now take it, fuck!."

His dirty words only led you further towards the second abyss. Five fucked you so hard that you couldn't answer, let alone whit the heavy hand on your mouth. Yours hands sank into the skin on his back, yours legs pulling him hips towards you, desperate to placate what was about to burst.

Five could feel yours tight walls throbbing on his dick, signaling that you were going to come any second. He groaned loudly, clenching his teeth on the skin of your neck so as not to make a noise, thrusting his dick as deep as possible into you. He replaced the hand in your mouth with his own lips, swallowing yours moans and trying to keep the sounds of you both low.

“I ... I'm going to...” You cried with pleasure, pain, desire, his rhythm hurt but it gave you so much hunger and pleasure that you could feel the liquid of your arousal soaking his dick.

Five looked at you in a way full of lust and with a very desire to break you. Oh he wanted to destroy you.

He came out of you, making you let out a loud moan of frustration and tears streaming from yours eyes. You whimpered loudly, and Five switched positions and pulled you hard into his lap, giving you no time to straighten up before he pushed his dick into you and aggressively stuck both hands to your waist.

You bit your lip hard to keep from screaming, trembling hands resting on his chest as Five pulled you up and down brutally, thrusting his dick in as deep as possible in you. He did not contain an aggressive groan at the sight of yours breasts jumping on his face, body sweaty and marked by fingers and hickeys, the inside of yours thighs already red by the force that Five shocked the body in you.

“Pl ... please!”

You begged, your face smeared with mascara and tears, your lips red from raw kisses, your hair sweaty. You looked like a goddess and Five wanted even more to destroy you.

“Do you want to come?” His voice was breathless, hoarse, fierce.

You nodded frantically, looking at Five with beg, begging him to let you come. It seemed to have an overwhelming effect on him. Five slapped your ass down, raising his hand to your back and pulling you forward, making your chest lie on his while the rhythm reached new places.

You bit his shoulder to keep from screaming, tears streaming down your face.

“If you come in this position, I will not control myself.” He snarled at you.

“I do not mind!” You begged, moving your waist to match his rhythm.

“Guess i'll just have to cum in you then” Then Five kissed you, hard, bad, dropped a hand to your clitoris and applied the trigger you needed to collapse.

You sank your mouth into the skin of his neck to muffle your scream, and soon a hot, thick liquid was filling you to the brim, taking up every inch inside you. You whimpered loudly against Five, hims hips doing the final thrusts to make sure the cum was filling you, his warm hands loosening the aggressive grip.

You both breathed loudly, your legs were shaking, your hair was stuck to your face and it took you two minutes to lift your face and look at Five. He gave you an arrogant smile of ‘I said I was going to break you and I broke’ and you laughed softly.

“I don't think I can get up.” You laughed, and Five removed a lock of hair from your face. “Do you think they heard us?”

“They certainly heard you.” He scoffed.

“Coming from your room.” You snapped and Five laughed, hims chest still heaving and heaving, covered in a mist of sweat.

“Fuck them.” Five said, gently pulling your hips up, pulling the dick out of you, making you sigh a broken moan. “You are so sensitive!” He said between his teeth, as if he had never been satisfied with you.

You laughed, and shook your head, exposing your neck full of purple tick marks.

“You know…” Five took his index finger to the marks, delicately skirting them “you always look so much better when I mark you up.”

You pushed his shoulder slightly, rolling your eyes.

“Can we take a shower together?” Five nodded at you question. “ and…”

“And?”

“You know ...” yours cheeks became more flushed "Come cuddle."

Five laughed, his eyes tame now, an open smile and satisfied energy.

“We can.” he smiled and you gave him a passionate kiss on the lips.