[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
tbh one of, if not my absolute favorite part about ffxiv, is the small little moments/sections where nothing super big or like. Plot Important happens, but that give both the characters and us, the players, some much appreciated down-time to just. Feel things. And to process what's happened and what's going on or to just. Let us exist, in the moment. In a much more grounded and human way than when there's Big And Important Things happening.
The biggest(imo) and earliest example of this is right after the Waking Sands get raided in ARR, and WoL turns to the church for guidance. The entire section of us helping them gather and bury our fallen comrades, and especially bringing Noraxia home to Little Solace so she can be laid to rest in her homeland, by her own people and in their own cultural ways, was so so important to me.
Because it wasn't just replacable allies cast aside for shock value anymore, it was real. These deaths were real and meant something. I got to actually process what just happened, and I got to watch Banana go through it right with me. And not only did it make it feel real, it also gave me a sense of closure. These people, these friends, are dead, but they also got to be treated with the respect they deserve and laid to rest properly.
And that, more than anything else, made me want to save the world. It's grounded and grounding. This world, and these people, meant something to me, the player.
And there's tons of stuff like that throughout the game, especially in shadowbringers and endwalker.
In shb we have, for example, Lyna venting her anger and frustration after the sin eater attack in Lakeland. She's on her knees yelling on the verge of tears while punching the ground, so furious at her helplessness and powerlessness, at everyone having come so far yet set back because some megalomaniacal tyrant deemed it so.
In ew we have Urianger being approached by Moenbryda's parents, who confront him about not confiding in them about his grief. When Bloewyda starts to scold him, he of course reacts guiltily, believing they blame him, only for him to be completely caught off guard when she instead goes in to hug him, telling him he should have let them grieve with him. And he just. Breaks down. He's been holding these feelings, this grief inside him all this time, and now that he is not only told it's okay to let it out, but by her very own parents at that, he just can't keep it in anymore. He cries for Moenbryda, right then and there, being held lovingly by her family.
And the thing is, these scenes aren't necessary, strictly speaking. The plot at large could go on without them, the events that happen around them are not changed by these moments in any way.
But still, they are so so important, to the world, to the characters, to the players. Everything feels real and impactful now, every death means something, every tragedy, every person, feels real.
And that, to me, is what makes this story so special.
KP rewatch continues... I am always very fascinated by the first lines that a character says and/or the first lines two characters say in the presence of each other - especially on a rewatch, when you can view the plot holistically. I want to talk about the first thing Kim says in the presence of Chay, and mind you this is the first thing he says as WIK. My first thought was that Kim is literally (like immediately, hit the audience over the head with it,) revealing his nature (as Kim) to Porchay:
It's kind of the thesis of Kim's arc, though he paints it here as a rhetorical question. Kim has had to make sacrifices and lose things all his life to get to the place where he is now. He goes on from here to pursue a romantic relationship with Chay on some pretty selfish and dishonest grounds - in the name of reconnaissance on his own family's organized crime - and once Chay figures it out, Kim loses Chay as a result. (Not convinced the immediate consequences of all that were "worth it," based on the way he ends up alone in his apartment looking forlornly at those polaroids of Chay.)
Anyway, god, the way the camera changes to Porchay when Kim says, "But if we love something so much with all our hearts..."
And this is like the conclusion to that thesis. I always wonder if I miss subtleties through translation, of course. But I think this is written to be a double-meaning about their relationship. My interpretation being: what they lose along the way is the pretenses of their relationship. Chay approaches Kim with this built up unrealistic ideal of who WIK/Kim is, which Kim could not possibly do a better job of ripping apart. Meanwhile Kim only understands Chay in a one-dimensional way - which is why he so greatly miscalculates their dynamic - but this too is dissolved once he faces his own feelings. The evolution they each go through to arrive at true mutual understanding is an incredibly painful one, but it also frees them to love each other honestly if Chay ever unblocks Kim post-canon.
returning here for one second to comment on the till/joe/alena/rammstein accusation thing.
you have to be incredibly naive to not believe it. everybody who’s been in the fandom for more than a year knows that there’s a whole system of picking out girls for till (and apparently for richard as well, idk, i was only obsessed with till) and getting them to afterparties. the only thing you need to do is be a hot young (in some cases very fucking young) female. that’s all there is and the talk about how “they sometimes also invite men” is ridiculous because men are never invited to row 0 for one specific purpose, they are there as friends of the band, not as sex objects. the fact that the fandom just accepted that a bunch of (often barely legal) girls are being picked out for every concert just to sexually satisfy their idol which they adore and would do anything for (that’s literally grooming btw, it’s not the case of “oh they wanted it” if they’re literally obsessed with a stranger 40 years older than them) is kind of fucked up if i’m being honest. i was the most hyped about rammstein when i was 17/20 and only now i’m seeing how destructive all of that was. defending someone who absolutely does not deserve it and being affirmed by members of the fandom who are way older that it’s all fine is not normal. i’m only writing this post to try to speak sense into some people here: stop acting like you know them, stop defending them because you’re a fan, stop being delusional and putting impressionable girls in danger because you can’t accept the fact that a 60 year old man in power is a fucking pervert and a sex pest.
Listening to the (radio drama) the dead line and Ianto's monologue while Jack lies in a coma is killing me aaaaaaa
I'm not much of a talker, Jack, you know that, but I'll talk to you now on the off-chance that it helps. Just promise me, if you're hearing this that when you come round - and you're going to, Jack, you're gonna come out of this - just promise me you'll never bring up anything I say to you now. How's that? Have we got a deal?
This must be the longest I've ever looked at you and not seen you smile. I've watched you in your sleep. Did you know that? So many times, just woken up beside you in the middle of the night, and watched you. Watched your eyes moving behind your eyelids as you dreamed. I tried to imagine what a man like you could possibly dream about. The things you've seen, the lives you've lived, the people you've loved. I wondered if you were dreaming about me. I hoped you were dreaming about me.
But let's be honest, Jack, I'm nothing more than a blip in time for you. Every day I grow a little older, but you're immortal. You've already lived a thousand lifetimes. How could you watch me grow old and die? How can I watch you live and never age a day? I suppose we both know that will never be a problem, not in this job. No one in Torchwood ever lives to draw their pension, do they? (Laugh.)
Even if by some miracle I survive to see my hair turn grey, or God forbid, fall out, I don't kid myself you'd still be around to see it. One day, you'll go again, just like you did before, and this time you won't be back. Maybe that's what you're dreaming about those nights when I watched you sleeping. Maybe that's why, even when you sleep, I see you smile. But you haven't gone yet, Jack. I know that. I know you're coming back to me.
i've been doing a bunch of tartarus runs in reload lately, and it got me thinking about how i miss certain ways FES's clunky gameplay can characterize minato… (ramble about the great clock mechanic + leveling up party members in reload vs fes under the cut)
when i got to yabbashah block in tartarus (block 3), i remember commending the developers for adding the great clock mechanic. it's a much more convenient way to keep party members at the protagonist's level- so when you think about p3 from the perspective of trying to make it easier for people to play, the mechanic succeeds in this respect.
but now that i'm in adamah block, and that i've done lots of my once-a-month tartarus runs… i think that i got a little too dependent on it, and the way that i played through reload feels like a vastly different experience from how i played FES.
in reload, my party's levels are very lopsided. minato, yukari, akihiko, mitsuru, and fuuka are all level 90+, meanwhile junpei and aigis are at level 79, and then… poor ken and koromaru are at 71 and 64 respectively. (i never got to have a great clock for them…)
meanwhile, in FES, my party's levels were much more evenly distributed and were at least level 90. i did all of this manually for every monthly tartarus run because i enjoyed having options available for the taratarus guardians and monthly operations.
with how i perceive minato, i feel that the way i played FES feels more in-line with his character than me dawdling around waiting for the great clocks in reload.
FES's gameplay loop left me with the very strong impression that minato has to work twice as hard as everyone else in SEES does. it makes sense because, yeah, he's the leader, but something about having minato run through tartarus multiple times with different groups of people just to make sure that they are adequately prepared speaks volumes about his character, to me.
and while the tired mechanic is present in reload to some degree, most notably with allowing you to freely raise your courage stat when you visit edogawa after school… the tiredness system doesn't hit the same way that FES does, i think.
the way your party members in FES will call it quits when they return to the entrance floor at tartarus when they're tired, versus minato, in spite of all his tiredness and sickness, still pushes through tartarus because it's his responsibility…. idk!!! i miss that! i feel like this really hammers home the difference between minato and the rest of SEES, how minato doesn't really see himself as a human with needs worth respecting as long as he's useful to someone.
i don't think that tartarus being tedious (in FES especially) is not what most people would describe as fun, and i can respect people thinking it's a slog. but, regardless of how it feels to play, it doesn't change that FES's gameplay loop is a fundamental building block in how i perceive minato…
of course, i do recognize that you can just opt to NOT use the great clock in reload (and it's great when players are offered the choice to not partake in mechanics)! i definitely think that if someone really wanted to, they could manually level up party members, but i do feel that kind of playstyle isn't necessarily "incentivized" to the type of people who are into playing games for Having a Good Time. it's kind of like… "why would you do that when there's a much more convenient option available to you."
in any case! despite my woes, i do want to emphasize that i'm glad that reload has a much more smoother gameplay loop than the original P3 did, because it does make the game more accessible to people. having played both FES and reload, it feels very strongly apparent to me how the core gameplay formula of persona has really been refined in the past 18 years (to think og p3 was 2006 and reload is 2024.. time flies!). and reload has made revisiting a story that i love so dearly much, much easier because the gameplay just bops!
at the same time, due to my "i miss characterization informed by weird and dated FES gameplay quirks" woes, i still think that playing FES is worthwhile. (really, i feel this way about all iterations of p3! i think it's worthwhile to see what each version and side media has to say even if it doesn't Land™ for you.) but i also understand why people wouldn't want to play it, so i will keep writing posts about things i liked from FES's gameplay because i'm still very fond of FES (especially in respects to minato. these mechanics are so telling about him!!!) 💪
Sobbing, instead of studying I translated more of doujin page from the same artist,
linking 2 more, with (shorter) summary,
this one is about trey who actually acts normal not because he wants normality, but because he feels like he has to be normal (like trauma after getting riddle into trouble),
but then jade sense that side of him, and somewhat be like, it's okay not to be normal
and it release tensions from trey's shoulders
fhsdh when they started dating, trey kept finding himself in trouble that jade brought upon them (schoolmates suddenly wants to get into battle because they have some kind of beef on jade)
when cater said, u like normal right? why are u going out with him?
trey said, i don't actually dislike it (the trouble)
(yea because he is actually not normal)
when azul said, jade why are u going out with trey, he seems too normal?
jade be like, no he is not normal at all,
trey knows there's someone behind the bench (i hope someone saved them after fshd but then there were ants, ants go for dead bodies, is he ded for real? fshdh BUT WAIT, it was raining, ANTS WON'T COME OUT WHEN IT RAINS, hey! hey!!! AUTHOR!!)
but he still gave jade the umbrella calmly
in conclusion, TOTES NOT NORMAL! Jade said.
--
this one is about riddle becoming best friend with jade,
and their unique relationship
also bits of riddle realizing jade has feeling for trey and bits of floyd just started to think he likes riddle, and they all help each other (yippie!)
the writing is also in depth & brilliant,
but i especially love page 61-64
where jade gave reasoning to trey not to tied himself forever on the trauma of putting riddle into trouble back then
that he deserves to be happy himself
when trey said
"i wish i can do something for riddle"
jade replied
"riddle wasn't someone that only you could save."
"of course it doesn't have to be me."
"riddle is a strong person who can find happiness on his own if given the chance."
"please be happy too"
I think a lot about Vettonso and their mutual relationship witn gold. They're both golden boys, they're both seen lit gold by the sunshine on many podiums throughout the years, both have worn golden boots, and as you can see here: both have worn golden helmets. The parallels in these particular helmets makes me feel insane. Both are: gold with dark red accents, both have their birthplace's coat of arms(Bergstraße and Asturias), both have team animal motifs, and both have symbols to represent their two championships(You by now know the signifigance of the ones on Fernando's helmet, but I think the ones on Seb's are actually a callback to his Formula BMW days when he used to put the smiley stickers on his car for every win.)
And did you know both of these helmets were designed by the same helmet design company? Yep, both of these are JMD helmets. I know JMD helmets are/were pretty popular, but still, there's something to me about Fernando commissioning the same designer that Seb has been using since he was a literal child. Parallels, am I right?
SV Japan 2010 x FA Japan 2023: White with Black & Red
Haha I remember @protocolseben and I discussing this a bit back in September when Fernando's helmet dropped. I honestly think Seb is such an innovator and trailblazer in terms of helmet design, and you can see his influence in helmet design as recently as this past season. I'm not sure if he was the first ever driver to don a matte white helmet with red accents as a representation of the Japanese flag, but it certainly envoked him in my mind when I saw Fernando's!!
I think Fernando's is pretty similar to all of Seb's 2010-2012 Japan helmets but I like this one the most so! I think if Seb wasn't restrained by the Red Bull logo, he def wouldv'e put the red circle where Nando put his so I think Fernando did a really good job, even if unintentionally, at emulating Seb's sense of design.
SV Singapore 2012 x FA Singapore 2012: Sparkly!
Like I said in the one above, it's crazy how much Seb influenced helmet design. He was pretty much the pioneer of sparkly helmets for Singapore, right? It drives me absolutely insane that there's actually pictures of them together in such similar designed helmets. It's kinda funny actually that even though they're pretty deep in the championship fight at this point, and Seb just got one up on Fernando; Fernando is wearing a helmet that is a direct influence from Seb!!! Is that not insane???
Also, Fernando trying to be camp with trying the now in vogue sparkly Singapore helmet, and Seb accidentally completely blew him out of the water with his outrageous light up LED constellation helmet. But god yeah....to have pics of them in matching helmets from this era particuarly makes me emotional ;;;
SV Hungary 2021 x FA 2022: Pink with Dark Blue
I really could've picked any of Seb's 2021 helmets, but I thought this one matched the best with Fernando's main 2021 helmet(with the color pallet.) Also one thing, it's crazy how much control BWT has as a sponsor, I don't think I've ever seen another sponsor go so hard at having a chokehold on individuality. I like that we got pink liveries and pink helmets, but I don't think they should have that much control.
I'm almost kinda sad there wasn't any Miami GP in 2021, because I think that was the only unique helmet Fernando had in 2022. But these match pretty well! Pretty in pink!! It's crazy that their parallels in the 2020s are ongoing even before Fernando actually takes over Seb's seat. Thanks BWT I guess?
SV Abu Dhabi 2022 x FA Abu Dhabi 2022: Fernando's Seb Tribute Helmet
AND HERE WE HAVE THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE!!! The ultimate conclusion, it literally couldn't get better than this!! This is still unbelievable, like how is this an actual thing that happened!? Fernando intentionally branding his helmet, the only symbol of individuality in F1, with his rival's flag colors, HIS FLAG!!!!! Not to mention the literal "Vettono Best Moments" collage he posted alongside it....and the hand-holding....and everything that happened with them at Abu Dhabi 2022....
But god, after years of incidentally making parallel helmet designs, Fernando decided to officially tie the knot of the red string of fate, and make a helmet directly referencing Seb's. I think it's funny because as I said with two of the previously mentioned ones, those Fernando designs are pretty much inspired by Seb's, and here he is openly making one directly inspired by Seb. I don't really have words for how this actually makes me feel because it's just. Yeah. The most open and clear declaration of love and respect and admiration one could ever make. TO ME.
hmm savv what would u do with mutual pining and woozi? :3c
daisy,,, beloved,,,,,,,,,, how dare you make me think about mutual pining w/ woozi ( /hj ) (i am already pining for him and thinking abt MUTUAL pining is going to drive me actually insane methinks g o d sdkjflskjdf)
ok so. SO. after vibrating in my seat and fantasizing abt lying down in the middle of the floor for the rest of time as i think about this concept, i have come to the following conclusion: mixtapes. and i mean in the classic "hey i made you this mixtape" sense
reader and jihoon are both producers for the same label and don't really interact that much at first. in fact, they don't actually even meet for the first time until soonyoung invites them both to his birthday party and they start talking shop, bonding over teasing soonyoung, and then ending the night with a promise to grab lunch together sometime.
fast forward a couple of months and they are officially Friends. they've managed to start a tradition of getting lunch together once a week and bitching about various work bullshit, and they've also started to hang out together in group settings after realizing they have more mutual friends as well
reader is the first one to send jihoon a song. it's a few hours after their weekly vent session, jihoon having taken up most of the time complaining about shitty higher-ups giving ridiculous deadlines and stuck-up idol wannabes trying to tell him how to do his job without having a clue about what his job actually is, and he gets a message from reader that says "i feel like this fits ur current mood" with a link to a song. [cw the song linked has a somewhat startling gun sound] he clicks on the link, curious, and then bursts out laughing after a few confused moments of listening bc that was NOT what he was expecting, at all
and that's how it starts, really. a few days later, he sends reader a song with the caption "how much u wanna bet soonyoung would choreograph something to this just bc it has the word 'tiger' in the title" / "no bet he absolutely would" / "ur no fun :P" / "sorry can't hear you i'm sending it to soonyoung as we speak"
pretty soon they're sending songs back and forth almost daily
"what are ur thoughts on this" / "?? i don't speak french" / "and?" / "...ok yeah this is p good"
"is this kinda close to the vibe you're trying to get for that one group you're working with?" / "not quite. but that's ok bc IM Vibin with this one"
"i need u to stop whatever ur doing and listen to this with the bassist bass you can get with w/ ur setup" / "ok??" ... "holy shit" / "RIGHT?"
fast forward another couple of months, and reader shows up to jihoon's studio with a can of coke zero and a flash drive. "what's this?" / "this, my dear woozi-ssi, is going to be the solution to our creative blocks" and then reader goes on to explain their idea: they both have tracks that they're stuck on (personal, professional, or otherwise), and so they're gonna 'sisterhood of the traveling pants this shit' ('i literally have no idea what you're talking about'). aka: reader put some files they're having trouble with on this flash drive, and jihoon's gonna add any notes/ideas he has and then give it back with some of his own trouble files on it. rinse and repeat
and not only does it work ("ohmygod i've been trying to figure out that bridge transition for DAYS THANK YOU") but it also becomes Their Thing. like, they're used to collaborating with other writers/producers/etc bc it comes with the job, but something about this silly little flash drive... feels Special. [*cough*it's because they're catching Feelings*cough*]
tHIS IS GETTING SO LONG FUCK OKAY other things i would include in this fic:
- one noticing the other has been working on a lot more love songs lately (or maybe a lot more Sad (read: pining) love songs)
- reader has a bad day at some point and they end up losing the flash drive and they have a breakdown over it (jihoon comforts them and also helps them find it we love emotional hurt/comfort in this household)
- scenes where they're individually waxing poetic about the other to different friends and the friends are like "bro. ur in love with them" "uh, no? they just have a great work ethic and a great taste in music also their lyricism is just—" "you. are. in. love." "i admire them professionally!
AND THEN THE CONCLUSION!! one of them decides to bite the metaphorical bullet and confess their Feelings. this could be either of them, but i'm gonna go with jihoon bc i can. so of course he can't just say "hey i love you" like a normal person, he has to confess through music. so he goes out and buys a new flash drive (with a really cute cover bc he knows they'd like it) and puts two folders on there. the first folder is full of instrumental files and is titled "all the times i couldn't find the words". and the second folder is titled "and all the times i could" and it's all love songs he's written inspired by/for reader
he sneaks into their studio and leaves the flash drive on your desk while you're in a meeting, and then he Waits and waits and waits some more until it's time to go home and it's been total radio silence and his heart feels like it's been crushed. so he starts to head home in the rain (bc i am a cheesy bastard and love rainy confession scenes) but after a few minutes of walking he hears shouting behind him and he turns to see you sprinting at him while screaming his name and before he can get a word out you're clutching his shoulders, soaked to the bone and asking "do you mean it? the songs, did— do you really mean it?"
and all he can do is nod because his heart still hasn't quite found its way back to his chest yet, and then he can't nod anymore because you're kissing him. you're kissing him, and he drops the umbrella he was holding and you're both kissing in the rain bc you're both obnoxious helpless romantics and "y/n-ah, i mean it— i mean it. i love you"
"i love you too, you stupid romantic bastard oh my god"
"hey, you're the one who started kissing me in the rain"
and it ends like the cheesy romcom this turned into bc i couldn't help myself and i need to lie down in a puddle of feelings now k thx
[send me a person and a trope/au and i'll tell you what kind of plot i'd write for them]