#I am going to go to BED because I need to be AWAKE for MUSEUM tomorrow

[liesonthefloordramatically]

this week is the 9th anniversary of me fleeing my parents’ home, which is. fine. it’s whatever. but more importantly that means that NEXT year I’ll be celebrating a decade of Being Disowned and I really need to come up with a proper way to celebrate it

[imtryingmybeskar]

Come Home Chapter Thirteen

Joel Miller x F! Reader.

Word count - 4359

Well, it's finally springtime and you and Joel take that trip out to the museum. If you're still reading then you know what Joel's plans for Ellie's sixteenth birthday are by now. I adore the museum scene, its so wholesome.

Also given that Ellie calls Joel a dinosaur in that scene, I had to make some double entendre about riding them. Entirely necessary.

Come Home

Chapter Thirteen - Feel

SPRING

Gentle, tinkling, tiny, joyful sounds. Warmth that is undeniably sunlight across your arm. Freshness and dew cut with an undercurrent of Joel as you inhale deeply and come back to yourself. Your eyes flutter open and are met with cool, blue surroundings, dappled above with patches of sunshine and shadow.

You sit up abruptly, your sleeping bag rustling as it falls away from your body, and you suddenly realise what this all means.

“Goddamnit Joel,” you huff as you scrub the sleep from your eyes, extricate yourself from your bedding and crawl toward the tent opening.

He’s sitting on a log stump outside and tuning his guitar, long fingers plucking softly at the strings and the sounds mixing with the sweeping birdsong that's heralding the morning. A pot sizzles over a flame and two cups wait to be filled next to a thermos.

“Mornin’” he greets you, briefly looking up from his task with a knowing smile.

“Joel-“ you begin in a warning tone.

“Yeah, I know, I know. But I figured you needed the rest after yesterday.”

You busy yourself with the cups, pouring each of you a small measure of coffee that had been hot twenty four hours ago and was now merely lukewarm.

“We’re gonna have to boil some water if we want more of this,” you remark offhandedly. “And I’m fine after yesterday.”

He raises a disbelieving eyebrow and you try not to wince at the ache between your thighs.

“Sure didn’t seem like it the amount of noise you were makin’ last night.”

“Alright…mister…cowboy,” you say, struggling to come up with a suitable insult and failing miserably. “We’re not all from Texas you know.”

“You sayin’ I’m a cowboy jus’ ‘cause ahm from Texas?” he asks in mock affront, overly exaggerating his soft accent as he does.

“I’m saying that I think you’re more used to riding horses long distances than I am,” you reply. “And you gotta stop letting me sleep in. The sun’s way up. We’ll never get there at this rate.”

“Alright, I promise. Crack of dawn tomorrow,” he smiles.

“Well…maybe not the crack of dawn,” you mutter before you take a sip of watered down coffee.

“Crack of noon, then.”

“Joel!”

He laughs at your frustration with him. “Fine, we’ll keep better hours. Well…that is to say I’ll make you keep better hours.”

“Never thought I’d miss the alarm on my phone. I’m sorry I’m so shit at waking up. I don’t know how you manage to sneak out every morning without me noticing.”

“Oh, you are dead to the world,” he replies, then winces and mutters, “Oof that’s a poor choice of words.”

“Just a bit!”

“I’ll kick you awake tomorrow, how’s that for an alarm?”

“As long as you stay away from my saddle sores we’ll be fine, Miller.”

He chuckles and places his guitar gently against the tree stump before going to fiddle with the pot on the stove. What you knew, what you were absolutely not prepared to talk about was that you were sleeping so well because of him. To reduce the amount you had to carry on this trip out, it had been agreed that you would bring one large tent instead of two individual ones. By Maria’s calendar it was mid-March. The days were longer and the sun was actually starting to feel warm now, but the nights and evenings were still chilly, and you were always grateful for the extra warmth he had provided within the tent when you would change over the watch in the middle of the night. Not to mention the comfort of having him so close, knowing he was just outside and keeping you safe while you slept.

When you had announced that you would be going out for several days alone, Ellie hadn’t been able to resist.

“Oh yeeeaaaah?” she had said, an exaggerated leer on her face.

Joel had sighed in a deeply put upon way. “Chrissake Ellie, you know the routes ain’t been maintained as well as they should have been over winter. There’s gotta be infected that have thawed out, movin’ around again. You want them at the door?”

“Yeah but… why for so long? And why just you two? Group patrols are a thing you know. I’m just sayin’ you have been going out together a lot.” She over-enunciated the last word, snapped the ‘t’ sound harshly.

“Yeah, well, we work well together. And Tommy’s busy with the dam and-tsk! What am I doin’ explainin’ myself to you? You just do what Maria says when I’m away and concentrate on that farmin’ rotation you’ve been given.”

She had folded her arms and looked disgusted. “Urgh, don’t remind me. I think I’d even rather be with you loved-up fogeys than do that shit.”

You had barely been able to stifle your laughter at the look of outrage on Joel’s face. “Ellie-!”

“Oh calm your beard. I know, I know. ‘Nothin’ goin’ on.’”

At that moment you had caught her amused look and a thought had struck you. Was this more than a teenager teasing her father to the point of exasperation? Did Ellie want there to be something between you? She had quickly looked back at Joel who was in the middle of telling her what a pain she was, but you were almost sure of it. For some reason, Ellie wanted this to happen.

It was a notion that had played on your mind a lot as you had journeyed through the freshly budding forest toward the museum. It would explain why she had been making more and more frequent plans for the three of you. For dinner, or to play cards or games, or to occasionally watch movies – the usual things - but then she would leave abruptly, citing tiredness or a forgotten meeting with friends leaving you and Joel alone to spend the evenings together. Though perhaps you were overthinking it and she really did just want to go to sleep, or hang around with people her own age. It would also explain her odd behaviour the evening you had overheard her argument with Joel, at least partially.

Your feelings about him were pretty straightforward. Over the past few months, thanks in part to you being neighbours, to Ellie’s apparent scheming, and the fact you didn’t have much interest in being close with a ton of people, you had spent a fair bit of time with him and had grown to enjoy his company more and more. His humour, which fluctuated between gentle wit and outright acerbity, the cleverness of his mind and of his fingers which could work wood in a way that enthralled you, his kindness toward you and toward Ellie, and of course his physical self, so solid and broad and commanding. Yeah, you were pretty sure your feelings had developed way past the crush stage.

Your thoughts around what you were feeling were a completely different story. Though you had settled into your house, though your panic attacks had abated to the point of being an occasional issue to deal with rather than a thing to dread day to day, you found yourself unable to cross that threshold and begin to embrace the things that you had left behind on the filthy vinyl flooring of a hospital in Portland. That he had managed to get under your skin in just a few short months was alarming, and you still couldn’t pick apart what came from him and what came from the cradling of the security that Jackson itself offered. That you laughed more often, spoke more freely – were these the effects of the tentative sparks in your heart, or just a relaxation of the grip that constant survival had upon your mind and body?

If your behaviours had changed toward him beyond the intricacies of a simple blossoming friendship, he hadn’t seemed to notice, and you hoped you weren’t as transparent about your feelings as you thought you were, though you suspected that some of the people closest to you had an inkling.

On your last patrol, a standard creek run, Vanessa had accompanied you and had brought up the subject as you had ridden through the now fully thawed, though still freezing cold waters.

“So…you and Joel, huh?”

“Oh fuck, not you as well!” you had groaned loudly.

“He’s a handsome man. If I were ten years younger…” she had pursed her lips into a kissy face and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with something that’s not actually happening?” you had wondered to the forest in general.

“Because we live in a small town and there’s not much juicy gossip around?” Vanessa had laughed. “Most folks are paired off already, so when the possibility of two, single, attractive people getting together arises, there’s gonna be some talk.” You opened your mouth to reply but she cut you off immediately. “And don’t come all that shy shit about not being pretty. You are. So’s he. Deal with it.”

You sighed. “Just don’t let him hear any of it. Between you and Ellie he’s gonna have an aneurysm.”

“So you two really never-“

“No!” you exclaimed, more forcefully than you had intended. Vanessa looked a little taken aback and you sighed and spoke more normally. “Not that I’d kick him out of bed-“ her grin stretched widely across her face “-but it’s complicated! He lives right next door. He’s got Ellie to think of. I have a whole fuckload of shitty baggage. And if anything did happen and it went bad what happens then? Do I just…leave? Take my chances outside? Fuck that, I’ve gotten too used to hot water! If it’s a choice between Joel and sleeping in a proper bed, I’m choosing the bed.”

You rode along in silence for a minute or so. Then-

“He’s got a bed too y’know.”

“Jesus, Ness! Let it go,” you had said laughingly.

“Okay, okay fine. Let’s go kill some shit.”

After that, you had begun to notice some of the looks that came your way when you and Joel were together – either at the bar, or when you would be in the stables preparing to ride out together, or even just walking around town. Some of the looks were appraising, some interested, some even a little unfriendly. Joel didn’t seem to notice at all, and you had no idea if that came from a place of obliviousness or intentionality.

The journey to the museum had been pretty uneventful thus far, barring a few lone and wandering infected and the fact that you had to physically clear quite a few paths through the trees with your machete, so you had been able to enjoy how beautiful the forest was in spring – warm dappled sun slanting through the trees, birdsong, trickling streams, the soft wafting of gentle breezes bringing the scent of blossom with them. But riding for so long every day through uneven terrain was definitely taking a toll, and even though you had tried to hide your discomfort from Joel he had worked it out pretty quickly and slowed the pace from the ten hour rides you had been doing. It did help the chafing of your inner thighs. It also meant more time with him, and that wasn’t ever a bad thing.

Your favourite parts of the journey had been the evenings you had spent together – three so far. While Joel prepared the food, you would set up the tent and bedding, and after eating you would sit and talk under the canopy of stars. It was simple, and very much like the routine you had found yourself falling into with him in Jackson, but being outside lent an additional sense of romance to it all. It was silly, you knew that. After all, you and he had both spent many nights sleeping outside out of necessity over the years. And all it took was for one infected to stumble into your camp for the rose tinted vision you had to come crashing down with force. But you allowed yourself to indulge while you could. To listen to his gravelly, whispery tones as he sang softly and strummed his guitar. To watch for shooting stars and pick out the constellations you knew among the mass of twinkling above. To look at him in the moonlight as he cleaned and re-packed the cooking and eating utensils, his movements sparse and graceful.

“Okay, hold up.”

Joel is slowing to a halt ahead and you pull up alongside him to see why. There is a somewhat clear path ahead, a break in the trees where you can see rusted hulks of metal under the snaking green that is slowly reclaiming all in its path. A bus shelter, covered in moss and trailing vines stands to one side, patiently awaiting passengers that will never arrive.

“We getting close?”

He pulls a map from a pocket inside his coat and studies it for a moment before he nods. “Probably another hour’s ride or so. If nothin’ gets in the way.”

“Just don’t say it’ll be smooth sailing or some shit. Else we’re bound to get swarmed.”

He grins at you before setting off again, leading you down the middle of the cracked tarmacked street. Cars are still few and far between here, some with skeletal occupants inside, most abandoned. The grass is beginning to sprout high now there is no layer of snow flattening it, and you hear the skitter of small animals as they run to the safety of the trees while you make your way through their home. Their presence is reassuring. Though animals can’t get infected in the same way that humans can, they still don’t enjoy the company of the fungus anymore than you do. You’re surprised by the lack of infected around, and you voice this to Joel.

“Could be any number of reasons,” he shrugs, keeping his voice low regardless of the apparent safety around you. “This area wasn’t too populated in the best of times. Maybe winter meant they couldn’t move around as much as they usually do. Hell, maybe they migrated south when it got cold. Who knows with those things…oh no.” This last is groaned and you too feel a weariness when you see what he does.

“Welp.” Joel sighs as he surveys the gaping sinkhole that has broken the line of the road you are following. “Guess we’re back to fightin’ our way through.”

You divert from the remnants of the road and begin to struggle your way through the undergrowth, Joel picking the paths of least resistance. The sound of running water grows steadily clearer until you can see the gleam of it through the thinning trees to your right. You follow the fat, slow moving stream as it meanders its way through the landscape, the bank that you are on growing ever higher as you do. Finally, the path narrows to a point that it would be dangerous for the horses to traverse it even in single file, and Joel jumps down from his mount.

“The museum should be right around here. We’re gonna have to leave the horses for a bit.”

“You sure they’ll be okay?”

“Lots of grass, no infected around. They’ll be fine. Probably happy to have a break.”

Joel takes point again, pulling back branches as he goes to make your egress easier while you hug the rocky bank of the stream as it curves below you. A few springtime flowers have begun to push through – tiny purple blue periwinkles, small yellow primroses, startlingly white azaleas that stretch in patches across the earth and mix with the greenery that is also emerging. The small trail of dirt you have been able to follow thus far very rapidly runs out as boulders of increasing size begin to be strewn across your way and loom large to the left. You cast about for another track, but it seems clear what you have to do.

“Looks like we’re swimmin’” Joel sighs, echoing your thoughts.

“I was gonna ask if this water looks clean enough to wash in. Guess I’m about to find out.”

You take the time to button your shirt up over your plain white t-shirt underneath. No need to put on a show, after all. Then you walk down the muddy bank and step tentatively into the water, grimacing as the cold almost immediately rushes into your boots and soaks your socks. Even here in the water there are challenges to overcome. A fallen tree blocks your progression and you take a deep breath before diving underneath it, avoiding the clutches of the branches that spike from it in random directions and the exposed roots that burst from the river bank itself. A hollow in a rock ahead forms a small, submerged tunnel that there is no other way around, and you force yourself to follow Joel and pass through it quickly before you can begin to panic about getting trapped underneath.

After a good five minutes of swimming you reach a place where the stream opens out into a pool, and you both take a moment to survey your surroundings, the high sides of the banks on each side looking like an insurmountable obstacle to your journey onward.

“Which direction?” you ask as you tread water. Joel indicates with a wave of his hand and you point out a place that looks as good as any for landing. He heaves himself up on to the slimy, moss encrusted rock lip and then reaches down to you to give you a helping hand up.

“Thanks,” you say breathlessly as you stand, shaking your hands out to try and rid yourself of some of the moisture that now permeates all of your clothes. You try very hard not to look at the way Joel’s wet shirt is now stuck to his skin, the way it hugs the curve of his shoulders and biceps.

“Should just be through there,” he says, pointing in a direction that looks a lot like every other. You begin to move through the trees again, now both dripping a trail of water behind you.

“So what made you think of this as a present?” you ask.

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I could get her. I wanted to do somethin’ for her instead y’know? And she told me she wanted to be an astronaut once, so I thought…well I thought about what I woulda done with Sarah. She loved museums, was always draggin’ me to them. And so I looked at the map and wouldn’t ya know…Science museum.”

“That’s sweet.”

“Just practical really,” he says, shortly but not unkindly.

On a few of the evenings you had spent with Joel after being abandoned by Ellie he had mentioned Sarah in passing. What she liked. Things she and Ellie would have bonded over. And once, when a few glasses of wine had been taken, a regret that he had spent so many hours working late when he could have been with her. You hadn’t asked what had happened. Hadn’t needed to. That she wasn’t here and Ellie was told the story very clearly.

“Well, I think this is it,” Joel says, breaking into your thoughts with faint amusement in his voice. You follow the direction of where he’s looking and chuckle.

A life-size Tyrannosaurus Rex stands mightily in the middle of a clearing, ivy twining all the way up its tail to wrap around one of its puny arms. The sun keeps disappearing and reappearing behind some distinctly grey-ish looking clouds and the dappled sunlight adds to its colouring, painting it with stripes of shadow that look like camouflage. It is magnificent, completely intact and standing as king of a small island surrounded by an unplanned lake that you presume is fed by the same stream by which you came, and that laps against the rotting wooden benches that stand here and there. With the trees surrounding it, it looks as if it belongs here in a way that you do not, as if you had been transported back to a time when humanity didn’t exist at all rather than at near-extinction.

The heavy double doors that are the gateway to the museum open easily enough, their shattered glass crunching under your feet as you enter the main atrium. Grass and vines and branches from the trees outside have encroached here, a carpet and wallpaper of nature that breathes life into the dead space and unintentionally adds a more natural backdrop to the dinosaur skeletons that greet you upon arrival.

“Guns out?” you ask Joel, quietly. Though the air is still and all is silent, and it looks as if this place has lain undisturbed since the outbreak, you could never be totally sure.

“Sounds like a plan,” he agrees, drawing his own.

You move through the darkened corridor into another room, this one lit brightly by the sunlight streaming through a lichen-streaked glass ceiling above. There are several complete dinosaur skeletons here, and as you contemplate the bones it suddenly strikes you how odd it is that these dead things are the same as they were twenty, fifty, a million years ago, yet humanity had gone through a similar extinction event but would leave no legacy except crumbling buildings that would very soon be dust. The bones of the dinosaurs had outlived the humans that had found them so fascinating, and there would be no one to remember the remains of the dominant species before the fungus, no one to witness their passing or mourn their achievements. It was an uncomfortable, maudlin feeling. You reach out and stroke the beak of the mighty Triceratops standing before you.

“Your favourite?”

“Yeah, it was. Is. I don’t think anyone really grows out of having a favourite dinosaur do they?”

“Don’t they?”

You turn to Joel with a disbelieving expression no words required.

“Okay, fine,” he relents laughingly. “I’d have to say my favourite would be…the velociraptor. Those guys were smart. In Jurassic Park at least.”

“Smart enough to be here when we aren’t,” you murmur, your eyes back on the horns and frill of the one in front of you.

“Hey, we’re here aren’t we?” You can hear the continued smile in his voice and it brings one to your own face, stirring a sense of energised recklessness within you. Fuck it. You are here, when so many others aren't. And you aren't going to waste this opportunity.

"You're right. And I'm gonna do something I always wanted to."

You climb the barrier into the place where the Triceratops stands and gingerly press against the bones that are held together with wires, then shake them a little more insistently. They seem sturdy enough.

“Give me a boost, will you?”

“You goin’ up there?” he asks incredulously.

“Joel, I’m going to tell you a secret about women that will blow your mind and is, essentially, the secret to understanding us. All of them, every single woman that ever walked this earth wanted to ride a dinosaur into battle like some prehistoric Valkyrie.”

“That sounds extremely specific,” he grins. “You sure it’s not just you?”

“Nope. All women. True fact.”

“What about the women that didn’t know what dinosaurs were? Like, before they were discovered.” he asks as he joins you next to the Triceratops.

“Nuh-uh,” you say, holding up an admonishing finger at him. “Your logic isn’t welcome here, Miller. All of them. Trust me. And thank me when you use that information to get a date.”

He opens his mouth, no doubt to impart some sassy retort, but instead merely gives you an extremely unimpressed look before sighing heavily and bending down so you can boost yourself up. The skeleton sways a little as you drag yourself into position, but it holds and you shift your backside over the uncomfortable ridges of the bones underneath you before raising your arms triumphantly as you sit behind the big, bony plate on its head.

“Haaaa! I am the dinosaur queen!” you exclaim, forgetting for a moment where you are and the fact that you have not explored this place thoroughly. You slap a hand over your mouth and look down at Joel with wide eyes, listening intently. Silence. No nightmare noises, no rush of infected or living to investigate the source of the sound. Just the cool, still, peaceful air around you.

“Fuck yeah!” you add, lifting your arms to the sky again once you’re sure nothing is coming to get you.

“Christ, woman, you’re worse than the kid,” Joel laughs.

“Oh what I wouldn’t give for a camera right now,” you sigh. “And one of those Viking helmets. And a cape. And a sword.”

“I can see it,” he admits. “Women like riding dinosaurs. Who’da thought it.”

As you slide off the Triceratops he catches you to break your fall, holding you at your waist and gently placing you back on the ground. You try your best to ignore that your shirt rides up a little and his palms brush your bare skin, the hugeness of his hands around you, the latent strength he displays and the soft amusement in his eyes at your antics.

“Come on,” you say. “Let’s see what else they’ve got.”

You continue to walk around the exhibits, ostensibly looking for fungus or evidence of spores or infected, but there’s nothing. A creeping of excitement makes its way into your stomach, the gleeful feeling you used to get when going to museums and galleries before. Only this is so much better. No crowds to obscure your lines of sight, no noise interrupting when you read the information plaques, being able to get right up close and see the majesty of just how big they really were.

A spiral staircase to the floor above leads into another dark passageway, this one decorated with white dots in a simulation of stars and when you emerge into the room beyond-

“Oh yeah,” Joel says with a satisfied look. “She’s gonna love this.”

Next chapter

Taglist - @thisshipwillsail316 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @elegantduckturtle @dihra-vesa @midwesternwitchery @just-here-for-the-moment @eri16 @readsalot73 @littlemisspascal @princessxkenobi @harriedandharassed @pagannightwitch @tentacruels @kirsteng42 @shirks-all-responsibilities @deadhumourist @pedrostories @abbyhaslongshorts @celebrtyskinz @majahu @sanscas @myloveistoolittle @ohthemisssery

[pipisbeloved]

αγάπη μου

chapter 1:

Night terrors

note: the words in italics are the readers thoughts

Across your house is a Pinetree forest; its noise keeps you awake most nights. with the birds, crickets, and foxes hunting. But that isn't the reason you're currently lying in bed staring at the window at 2:48 AM

you swear you're not crazy. But for some reason, you can’t shake the feeling, the feeling someone’s watching you. It’s in the trees waiting for me to sleep so it can take over, I KNOW it’s there and I know the second I rest my head I'll no longer be in control of my body.

The phone rings.

you jump back on the brink of tears.

god I need to calm the fuck down

Looking at the caller I.D. you sighed thank god it’s just Otis

"Baby?"

“baby? you okay, you didn’t come to our painting date yesterday but didn’t answer my calls"

Otis and you met 2 months ago during a local museum exhibition. You were so excited that day because you had a painting in the landscape art section. Earlier that month you entered a city-wide competition called ‘Wildlife Artist of the Year’. entering your oil painting of the forest, but in no way expecting to win. Not only did you have your painting front and center but you're also pretty sure you met the love of your life.

------------------------------------------

Helen Otis, the smart and self-important art genius. At first, you'd never imagine being in the same room as him, you'd see him around the museum judging the art, calling it sloppy and pathetic, 'that people didn't truly understand colour theory' as he could. You had to give it to him though, for only being 26 (and a half) he has talent. So much so, they once had a pop-up exhibition just for his sculptures and paintings. Although you never visited. They always gave you…the creeps? He’d never have a sculpture up for too long, always having them on rotation for the two weeks the museum had them up.

I heard a rumor that if someone visited the in the last few days (of the exorbitant) you could smell something off, not too distinct but the air smelt tangy. like someone left an orange out in a hot car to mold.

They never offered another showcase again

------------------------

But that said you truly are happy to be with him, even if he’s a little odd. And you were NOT expecting him ask for your number after the day ended. You also did not expect yourself to say yes, and actually enjoy yourself on the date. He’s sweet and cares I mean he wouldn’t be calling to check up on you right know if he didn’t.

“Yeah…I’m okay, sorry for standing you up I’ve just been really busy” you mumble

“it’s okay I’m just happy you’re not hurt, you never know where you live, I wouldn’t want you to be attacked by some fox”

you try to laugh it off  

“Yeah but at least the view is nice”

“So…we ever going to reschedule that date?” you can hear his smug voice on the other side of the phone

You smile softy

“Yeah of course what about tomorrow morning at Fred bears family diner for breakfast, I heard they do amazing strawberry waffles, 7:20 am sounds nice?”

He agrees and we talk for a few more minutes about nothing in particular, he gets your mind of everything that’s been going on. It’s nice.

[rageprufrock]

Whittled Down by Another War (pt 1/?)

I just started a new job a few weeks ago, so obviously I am sublimating all of my imposter syndrome into writing a story where Korn dies before the events of KinnPorsche begins.

Korn's death tears through the city like a bullet: the exit wound a gory mess.

The first 72 hours, Kinn doesn't remember sleeping. He calls all his men back to home base, sends the most vulnerable into safe houses deep into the countryside. He has Chan lockdown the compound, the offices, the fallback in the city. Kinn shoves Tankhun—actively dissociating in mute panic—into Kim's arms at the service entrance of the mansion and sends them out of the country.

"What about you?" Kim asks. He's shored up in black jeans and a black muscle tee, wild around the eyes with a gun in the waist of his pants and a knife tucked in his combat boots. "Everyone in this city is going to be going be trying to kill you."

Kinn smiles at him, dizzy—from exhaustion? terror? from grief, because this may be the last time he ever sees Tankhun, this may be the last time he ever sees his baby brother; because after everything, even if this is how they end it, it will be more than Kinn had expected, shivering awake from the worst of his night terrors.

"Everyone's always trying to kill me," he says.

"If you eat it I'm going to be fucking pissed at you," Kim tells him, backing away now, toward his car, where Arm and Pol are flanked on either side of Tankhun in the backseat. "If you die, I'm burning your guitar collection."

It's as close to tenderness as Kim can manage, Kinn thinks, heart heavy and overfull, watching them drive away.

"They'll be your guitars then, you little shit," he says, to the afterimage of the tail lights, disappearing into the gray dawn. He scrubs his hands across his face, and a noise comes out of his throat that has the shape and density of a sob, but that's a hoarse scratch across his voice.

Kinn thinks, now, I'm an orphan. Kinn thinks, now, I'm truly alone.

Chan comes to get him, he says, "Khun Kinn—it's time," and the press of his hand on Kinn's shoulder feels like stones in Kinn's pockets, weighing him down in deep water.

***

It's two weeks before Kinn sleeps in his own bed again, lying down. Four days after that, Kinn shoots his uncle in the head. In the first month, there're dozens of attempts on his life, and six that get close enough to leave a mark. It's three months before he's done burying bodies, another two before he finishes auditing the legacy businesses. Six months after Korn dies, Kinn lets Kim bring Tankhun home.

Kinn's known—vaguely—that they were bouncing around Europe and North America, never staying anywhere too long for their safety. Tankhun left empty-handed, near-catatonic; he comes back with six suitcases of newly acquired clothes and a separate sea shipment of souvenirs he insists that Kinn needs, a phone camera full of photographs and videos of places and people and things he thinks Kinn would like to see.

"This is the musical instrument gallery at the Metropolitan Museum of Art," Tankhun lectures. "Here are some weird old pianos that look stupid, but that I guess you love."

He does. "I do," he says, and he's staring at the side of Khun's face as he says it: his older brother's darker from the sun, wearing an orange jumpsuit and a rope of turquoise beads criss-crossed across his chest. Kinn's missed him so much it hurt like a gut wound; Khun feels like a little miracle, sitting here on the floor of Kinn's bedroom, showing him pictures of weird old pianos because he knows Kinn will love them.

"You look like absolute garbage," Tankhun tells him.

"Work's been murder," Kinn says, and Khun punches him in the arm for it, which Kinn figures he deserves. Tankhun's back; Tankhun's safe. Kim's alive, and as hostile as ever, suffused with feral cat energy and armed to the teeth, sleeping off the time difference in Kinn's bed still fully dressed, clutching a butterfly knife and drooling into Kinn's pillows.

"If you'd died, I would have killed you myself," Tankhun says, hands folding into his lap, phone screen going black. "Are you eating? Have you slept?"

Kinn laughs; it comes out wet, shaky. "No," he admits.

Khun nods, practical, determined. "Well, we'll feed you, and once Kim wakes up, we'll keep watch and you can drool on those pillows, too."

Kinn wants that so badly his bones hurt, his eyes get hot. "Okay."

"And have you decided?" Tankhun asks, going sharp now and reaching over to cup Kinn's face in his hands. "What you'll do with our father's empire?"

Kinn's never let himself imagine it before. The chasm between what he wants and what he can have has always been the gulf of the Pacific, the depth of the Atlantic. Even as a boy, at barely 14, when his father had said, "This ring, and its responsibility, will be yours now, Kinn," he'd known that what he wanted no longer truly mattered. He'd sharpened his bones intro blades, cut away at himself until he'd been the shape of a perfect weapon.

Two decades later, skin thin, the possibility makes him dizzy.

"I'll need your help," Kinn hears himself say; he sounds strange, far away.

"We'll both help," Khun promises him, close and low. "Let's bury our father—and then let's bury what he built."

From the bed, Kim says, "Fuck, don't volunteer me for shit," raspy and irritable and vibrantly, amazingly alive.

Kinn's laugh kicks out of him like a reflex, and he goes lightheaded with it, and he lets Tankhun strip him out of his disheveled suit, lets Kim shove him under the snowy white covers, still body warm from his little brother, and lets himself—finally, finally—give in, give way, into the consuming arms of sleep.

***

According to Kim, he sleeps for 16 hours, during which time Tankhun does routine wellness checks to ensure he's alive, ask if Kinn needs a bedpan, and does he want anything from Starbucks because they're putting in a mobile order.

"And what the hell were you doing that entire time?" Kinn asks Kim.

He feels simultaneously incredible and incredibly shit, making his way through a liter-size bottle of water and shaking out the numbness of his right arm where he slept on it like the dead. Someone had undressed him and redressed him for shits and giggles at some point during his coma, so he's slumped against his headboard in black boxer briefs and a XXXL green t-shirt that says MOVE I'M GAY on it in white letters.

"Masturbating," Kim says, the same time Tankhun carols out, "He was tenderly threatening to shoot anybody who tried to wake you up and trying to break into your phone."

It turns out Kim had been successful in breaking into Kinn's phone, which is why his inbox—creaking under the weight of an eye-watering 703 unread messages at the time Kinn finally lost consciousness—is down to a merely demoralizing 207.

"What happened to the other 496 messages?" Kinn asks.

"We delegated, you sociopathic control freak," Kim retorts.

Tankhun hands Kinn a frappachino. "Drink this before your blood sugar gets any lower and you start shooting."

Kinn doesn't realize he's hungry until the coffee milkshake hits his system, and then he's ravenous, a bottomless maw. He relocates himself into the family quarter kitchens and sits at the long metal worktable on two overturned plastic milk crates, stacked together, barefoot and still in the green tent of a t-shirt. Kinn eats three mangos, a dozen sticks of pork satay, a bowl of rice with three fried eggs and soy sauce, and drinks another bottle of water while he's at it, the gnawing pain in his stomach fading by degrees.

"Did you not eat at all while we were gone?" Tankhun scolds, cutting up another mango, frying him another egg, adding rice to Kinn's bowl.

Kinn ate while Khun and Kim were gone. He ate and drank and must have slept because of the biological imperative of the thing, but he can't remember any of it, only the high-pitched howl of panic that sang through him the entire time. It had left him numb of pain, immune to suffering, what was left of his heart traveled outside his body and possibly already lost. For the first time in six months, Kinn feels the expansion of his lungs, the throbbing soreness of his left knee, the stiffness of his neck: brought excruciatingly back to sudden, startling life.

"I was waiting for you to cook for me," Kinn says to Khun, bratty, smiling, and ducks away from from a smack, grabbing Kim by the scruff of his shirt and throwing him into the line of fire—absolutely shameless.

They're orbiting stars, the next few days: Khun, Kinn, and Kim locked into one another's gravitational wells. They take turns sleeping. They take turns feeding each other. Tankhun and Kim take turns wrestling Kinn away from his cell phone, his laptop, the landline in the bathroom. It's the longest time Kinn's spent with his brothers since Kim turned 17 and fucked off, since he and Tankhun stood shoulder to shoulder in front of their father to make sure Kim could. It's both terrible and amazing; terrible and amazing to be so loved, terrible and amazing that this is the shape and substance of their lives—terrible that this is how Kinn gets his brothers back; amazing that they've returned to him, that they would peel apples and pull triggers for each other.

"If you hadn't gotten all emotional at Uncle Gun, you could have just left him the whole lot and we could call it done," Khun sighs later.

If Kinn hadn't gotten all emotional at Uncle Gun, Gun would have likely gotten all emotional on Kinn, and where would they be now? Tankhun presiding over a pyre of Kinn's guitars; Kim hunting down the senior ranks of the minor family in Doc Martens and skinny jeans, eyeliner flawless.

"I lost my temper when we couldn't reach contractual terms that didn't include our dead bodies in the river," Kinn says, light. Vegas and Macau are still at large, vanished beyond the border into Myanmar, two unanswered questions—one indistinct, one psychopathic. It's a problem for tomorrow, for all of their tomorrows.

"I'm also not sure our Uncle's management style would have been in alignment with not causing absolute fucking chaos," Kim chimes in. "The Lithuanians still have a kill-on-sight order for Vegas."

The Lithuanians can get in line.

"Oh that means the Russians must want him, too," Tankhun says thoughtfully.

"I think it's generally a fair assumption that everyone who has met and been forced to interact with Vegas wants him dead for some reason or another," Kinn says.

His cousin was an annoying kid who was shaped by the weight of their family legacy and Gun's fists into a necrotic wound of an adult. Vegas is too smart, too dangerous for Kinn to ever truly pity him, but he stands on the opposite shore, recognizes that in ways that are too harrowing to admit even to himself, he and Vegas are phantom echoes. The difference is Vegas thinks he can unfuck himself if they upend the family structure—Kinn knows better; he knows they're both ruined.

"Enough about our cousin—we should talk about Papa's funeral," he sighs.

In the immediate chaos of their father's death, Kinn had been too busy trying to prevent the cataclysmic collapse of the Theerapanyakul empire, smuggle his brothers across borders, and shooting his uncle in the face to see to the appropriate funerary rites. In this, as in so many other things, Kinn's been a disappointment of a son and heir.

So now, six months later, he ignores Kim's suggestions that they throw Korn into the river and has Chan pull him from cold storage. Kinn's seen too many dead bodies in his life, but it's a gut punch all the same, all over again, to see his father's face without its panoply of microexpressions—each one a separate area of study and source of paranoia—in the mute peace of death, Korn looks like the after image of a parent Kinn once imagined having: kind, forgiving, safe. The stroke that killed him was fast and comprehensive. It's probably kinder than he deserved, and Kinn—making calls in the background while Tankhun tries to convince Kim that as the youngest, he's honor-bound to be ordained for the services—is grateful: that his father didn't suffer, that he's capable of gladness for it, that as much of a wreck as he is, as complicated as he feels, that at least this dimension of grief can be clean.

"This is our father," Tankhun insists.

"Exactly why I'm not shaving my fucking hair and eyebrows, you clown," Kim yells back.

Kinn schedules the bathing rites for the next day, and it's only himself, Tankhun, and Kim in attendance. Chan is there, but Kinn's not sure in what capacity. The closest thing Korn had to a friend, toward the end? Watching over Korn's legacy? They put a coin in Korn's mouth and lay him out under a sheet, at the high table, wreath him with flowers, heaps of blooms that fill the room with the smell of their garden at dusk. Kinn's still too tired to think about it—he's so deep in the red on his sleep deficit he's going to die tired—to do anything other than pour jasmine-scented water over his father's unmoving hand and to pray for more kindness that Korn doesn't deserve.

It's typical to hire four monks for the seven days of daily chanting, but their family needs every possible fucking merit, so Kinn gives in to all of his worst impulses and hires 16 for the full seven day cycle. Kinn knows that in some families, there are visitors and happy stories, food and dancing; for the Theerapanyakuls, there's just Khun and Kinn and Kim, getting shitfaced on their father's collection of botanical gins and conspicuously avoiding conversation about how angry they are to mourn this man. It's the worst part of family, that someone so arbitrarily assigned to you can both hurt and love you in such concussive, devastating ways. Millennia from now, once Kinn has worked through the karmic debt of this existence, he hopes he's born into a normal family, where when his father dies, he doesn't have to carry a gun to the fucking cremation—where he can feel something other than a gash in his throat.

They go in age order, up to the casket with their wooden flowers, and so Kim's the last to give his bloom away to the fire as it's lit.

"The ashes will be ready for you tomorrow," the funeral director promises, terrified. Chan had done the security briefing, so Kinn doesn't blame him. "Will you—will you want to keep them at the temple?"

He says this in a way that makes it abundantly clear he can think of no more horrifying outcome than for Kinn to inform him that they would like to keep their father's ashes at the temple.

"We'll take him home," Khun says, somehow still the best socialized of them all. "Thank you for taking care of our father."

They're nearly at the door, nearly back into the waiting shadows of the two dozen guards that Chan had sent along for the ceremony, when Kim says, "Give me a second," and disappears back inside for ten seconds, fifteen.

When they get the ashes back, Korn's remains are mixed with sun bright Ratchaphruek petals, fragrant jasmine, their father's favorite flowers. Kim sticks the urn in the back of a cupboard in their father's study, embarrassed by his brief detour into filial tenderness and working triple time to be an asshole in compensation.

"The king is dead," Tankhun says, late into the night. They're all sitting in the garden in the dew-wet grass, passing around a cigarette and staring at Khun's fancy carps; Elizabeth and Sebastian hovering close as if they can sense their owner's distress. "Long live the king."

Kinn snatches the cigarette away from him. "Don't say that."

"Yeah he prefers emperor," Kim says, which earns him a punch in the kidney. "Fuck."

"You deserved that," Khun tells him, and turns back to Kinn. "Well? What next?"

When he and Khun were boys, and when Kim was a (more) annoying blob that screamed all day, Kinn had spent a lot of time trying to figure out how they could escape their fate. Khun could become a famous artist, and they would live in New York, where there were already so many mafias surely Thai organized crime would find no foothold. Kinn could become a famous singer-songwriter, hire his brother as a stylist, and they would travel the world on tour and have no time for calling in debts. They could run away somewhere no one knew them, and then Khun could do whatever he wanted, and Kinn wouldn't have to watch their father turning his brother into a weapon. Once the ring had been on Kinn's finger, he'd stopped imagining the alternatives; he was old enough to know then that the alternative was Kim.

"I don't—I mean, where would we even begin," Kinn says finally.

"Wherever we can, with whatever we have," Kim says, taking the cigarette back. "Unless we've completely misread this situation, and you actually want to keep running the fucking mafia."

Kinn closes his eyes, presses his face into his knees. "I don't know how to do anything else," he admits. I'm scared to hope for anything else, he thinks.

"Kinn, you have an MBA," Khun says. "You majored in accounting."

"I think he means, 'who do we break the news to first,'" Kim says, but he's grinning, savage, bright-eyed. "I vote we start with the Lithuanians."

***

The Lithuanians, once they find out that Kinn has no idea where Vegas is, comprehensively do not care. Their existing partnership is largely limited to coordinating profits off of luxury car thefts—a rounding error on the Theerapanyakul family balance sheet—and they're more than happy to take it off of Kinn's hands. This leads to an existentially bizarre sidebar that Kinn ends up having with the second in command about whether or not this means his cars are now fair game.

"If you have to steal one of ours, steal the purple one," Kinn tells them.

"That one's your fucking lunatic brother's," Boris says. "You think I don't know that rabid little shit will try to chew my throat out?"

Which lunatic brother, Kinn doesn't ask, but only because Khun doesn't drive.

But the Lithuanians are easy, small fry in Thailand, and honestly Boris is probably the closest thing Kinn has to a work friend. It also helps that they both want Vegas dead.

In a sort of grim distillation of Kinn's entire adult life, dealing with the people who want to steal his cars and kill his cousin is actually the least shit part of this entire exercise.

The Theerapanyakul empire goes six generations back, and his father had married into the lineage with a chip on his shoulder and an explosive, obsessive love for Kinn's mother, who Kinn can't be sure ever loved him entirely back. But she'd loved her sons, and it was Rachini who'd put the first gun in Kinn's hands, who'd taught him what it meant to be a Theerapanyakul, and ensured—from as soon as Kinn was old enough to understand—that given a choice between his family and the outside world, he would never hesitate to take the shot. She taught her children the same thing her father taught her, that there's power in controlled violence, that there was a right and a wrong way to be mafia, that they might die young, so to take ruthless, ravenous bites out of life while they could. She'd blow dry Kinn's hair, tender, with the same hands she used to stab someone in the throat. Kinn's keenly aware he was born wrong, raised wrong, that even though her death had felt like an amputation, the phantom pain he feels is both anger and mourning. Their parents had turned all three of them into bullets.

The rot is deep at the heart of the enterprise, so inextricably tied that even at the root of their legitimate businesses, some vein of corruption flows through. The hotels and resorts they own are convenient cash sinks to launder funds from their lower-overhead activities; the shopping centers and hospitals topline PLCs that conceal in their labyrinthine corporate structures holding companies where their casinos funnel cash, where their sideline in brothels and escorts pay dividends, where their import-export hustle dumps free cash flow. They'd gotten out of drugs during their father's generation—too tight a market, too high risk, too low on returns—and dumped their considerable connections into vendor service for the cartels instead. Kinn had combined his expensive MBA, penchant for fucking closeted Chinese nationals out blowing daddy's ill-gotten politburo gains, and struck gold laundering drug money through the brisk tourist trade in vacation hubs like Phuket and Bangkok.

"The Sinaloas will be very angry if we close up shop," Khun meditates.

Kinn pours himself a Pappy on the rocks, because he's fucking earned it, and presses the cool crystal of the tumbler to his forehead. "Let's not—worry about the Sinaloas for now," he says. "Let's start with the easy exits."

Of course, there are no actual easy exits, only less shitty ones. Kinn throws a metaphorical dart ands on the Italians.

"That's going to be a shitshow," Kim says, when Kinn tells him.

"Take Pete," Khun frets. "Take Arm and Pol."

"Pol is absolutely useless," Kinn tells him. "And I want Arm and Pete here in case anything goes sideways and you need actual competent protection—I'll take Chan."

Taking Chan does not ameliorate the broader truth that dealing with the Italians is a shitshow. It starts with snide commentary on gelato and ends in a hail of bullets, Kinn running panicked down the filthy back streets around Thonglor Soi being chased by Sicilian shitbags who are pissed he doesn't want to ferry around their cocaine anymore. It would be absolute poetic justice if he ends up getting shot to death behind a club where he'd once separately facefucked two guys who turned out to be a couple and who'd then started screaming at each other about cheating while Kinn had been trying to put his dick back in his pants.

[pbandjesse]

Happy May Day!

I am glad I stayed home today. I still wasn't feeling amazing. But I was able to enjoy my day. Even if I was still nauseous.

I slept alright enough. The new curtain next to my head blocks the light a lot better and while I still woke up, I was able to more easily fall back asleep. I was awake enough to be aware of James saying goodbye. And went back to sleep for an hour.

When I woke up I was a little off. But mostly I was good. I cleaned my face and got dressed. And would just wander around the house for a long time. I spent some time just cleaning up. Putting things away. I tried to vacuum but our vacuum keeps thinking it's jammed. No idea what is up with that. I would change the kitty litter though and Clorox some stuff.

I would spend time with sweetP. Just hanging out. I had egg salad on toast. I would go out to the car to get the last of my car chips. It was beautiful outside but a little hot directly in the sun.

I started working on a little painting project. Sat on the front door step and started laying out the hearts I wanted to paint on the door. The sun was a bit to bright but I have the outlines done. I'll go back in with paint soon.

I came back inside and would hang some stuff in our room. James was going to hang the last panel of wallpaper tonight so that was exciting. The bedroom walls could finally basically be finished. And I am really happy about that. I still would like to get a small rug for the floor but everything else feels really finished and that feels really nice.

We are having our little house warming this weekend and so I want the space to at least have some areas done. And I think we have done a pretty excellent job overall. Like there are still projects for sure but it's coming together and that feels really good.

I spent a long time today working on cleaning out the one fish tank. I might be getting a frog for in there. Haven't 100% decided but I moved out all of the decor and washed the rocks. Took a while but it wasn't to bad. Was nice to try it all clean.

I would answer some work emails. And lay in bed. Lay on the couch. Lay around. I didn't feel amazing. And whenever I tried to do to much I felt sick. But I kept drinking water and trying my best to be okay.

I remembered that the new labor exhibit was opening at the museum tonight. I very much wanted to go to that and me and James decided I would just meet them there. Felt like a good plan.

I had a phone meeting today with Salvatore from the national guard and it went really well. He seems really sweet. Retired military, daughter in the girl scouts, loves working with the kids. They want to get me in the schedule for sometime in July and then again in the fall. Excellent. I love working with the national guard kids so I really hope we can continue this going forward.

After my phone meeting I would catch up on April's knitting. I still need to sew down thr edges but the last 11 days I was missing is done. And I can start May. That took a while though. I had put the little screen in the studio window so Sweetp could have somewhere to sit and watch the world and I would knit and listen to a video. It was nice. I was having fun.

I made a little microwave pizza as a late lunch. And got myself ready to go to the museum. But that would not be my only stop.

My first stop was Petco. I wanted to look at their frogs and things. This Petco never has a very good selection but it was still fun to look. And I enjoyed seeing different options. I may chose to get a tomato frog? I really would like a turtle but I don't have the infrastructure (or a large enough tank) right now. But maybe that is where I will end up. I'm not in any rush.

I went to the museum next. And was very excited to see Jessica because she just announced today that she's pregnant with baby number 2!! So excited for her. It was also just really nice to see everyone else.

After giving James many hugs I went to go get a drink and ran into Margaret. Who asked if we could talk on the phone tomorrow because there has been discussion about brining me on part time to help run events. This is an amazing opportunity for me. It would be flexible hours, a pay increase, and I would get to be doing something I really enjoy! And as my grant position at camp comes to an end this would just be really great. A next step, somewhere I already love.

I would also go and find Jesse to talk to him so I wasn't going into the conversation with Margaret blind. He gave me some ideas of what to negotiate for, when I could actually start (immediately), and how Meril would also be in on this. And honestly the three of us would be such an amazing dream team the museum wouldn't know what hit it. I really hope this works out.

I really also just enjoyed talking to people. About our trip. And seeing the new exhibit! Which I think was done so well. I already know a lot about union history, but seeing more contemporary and Baltimore specific stuff was awesome. And the layout and design choices were great. I really enjoyed it.

I would hang out at the desk with James. I got some food and would watch the desk while James got some too. And it was just good. People watching. Chatting with friends and guests. It was a good night.

I was excited to come home though. A little later then I had thought but that's okay.

When we got home I would go and change. I watched my frog tank for a while and actually saw my loach. No omelet sightings today but I did see him yesterday. I also moved the very hearty snail from the other tank to this tank and I hope he's as strong in here as he has been in the other.

James is in our room hanging the last piece of wallpaper. It wasnt going super well and I left the room because I thought I wasn't being helpful just sitting there writing this. But I am going to go check on them now before I take a shower and we get ready for bed. It has been a long day. But I am feeling a little better. Still not great but not as perilously bad.

Tomorrow I have a feild trip and it's the brave bee program. I really like that one. And then I have my phone meeting with Margaret. And me and Celia just made plans to go to the Dutch market after work. I am looking forward to the day. I hope the heat is t to bad and I'm not nauseous anymore.

Wish me luck and good vibes. I love you all. Goodnight!

[psych---ologically-deranged]

psych 2x16 commentary

Shawn (& Gus) of the Dead

SF, CH, KK, JRr, DH, I wish they had fewer persons for these commentaries, especially when they have similar voices.

I love how they always start with fake names.

SF directed this one!

DH: *Feet up, chewing on a cookie* KK: Just turn his mic off for this episode Henry: Scaring shawn af

I love these long shots, but: John Landis my beloved: STOP PINNING THE CAMERA AROUND

On time AND under budget!?

SF: I was like a kid in a candy store, with all the tools CH: & a pocket full of money!

THIS MUSEUM IS CONNECTED TO THE PLANETARIUM FROM LAST SEASON they are connected in canon now to me.

That poor bear

I'm actually thrilled that their dinosaur is in there. I love the reference back to it. Discovered by Psychic paleo-sleuth Shawn Spencer (in comic sans), & then tiiiny font: photo by bruton gaster or w/e they put as his name this time.

JoH: Do you think he's up? Me: No. I have to wake up that early for work & it sucks; I like waking up somewhat early. Shawn is the kind of guy to sleep in until noon. Then again, if he sleeps in until noon, he totally could be going to bed at 4am, even 6am. SS: No I'm wide awake. Want to watch a movie together over the phone? *60 martin short movies* Love his giant camera lens & the pool slide

CH: & he's got a leather jacket on

the dinosaur behind their heads when shawn sees his plaque (apparently for the first time even tho he literally mentioned it???) is the same one from the red phantom comiccon ep

wait THEY BOUGHT THAT FROM NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM? SS to JoH: You had your shot

The camera crew band doing the theme song in this room is something I wish I could have seen.

SS: *inexplicably starts smelling the curator* *shot gets cut*

Bless you. I am glad that lassiter's "I didn't like you at first but I've come to accept you" speech got cut.

"You know it's going to work out, but you can't seem too callous,"

*not letting Gus see*

SF: Gus has never been to a mummy exhibit because I am afraid of being cursed & Gus got that from my personality. I visited one for this episode & quietly apologize to them.

Spooky child mummy, "Henze get out of there", cheating boyfriends, "It was more Berman sized", this has it all.

I love the ceiling camera facing straight down.

Oh no JRr & DH were both sick, making arrangements to leave, SF jumping up & down at the end of takes...

DH's mom! *shawn running behind her* DH: That's my mom y'all!

The carpet was pretty good "I almost bought that for a second"

Steve franks! "I do not have a pancake butt!"

Gus making fun of Shawn is SO good.

JRr: sick as a dog, running around a museum with a bucket on his head

SF, seeing the set for the first time: Hey wouldn't it be funny if Gus went behind that tarp backdrop? DH: On it

ugh my fricking freezer is broken & now I have meat dripping & pizza thawing & we HAVE so much stuff in the freezer because the oven is also broken so we can't cook ny of the stuff that requires an oven.

JRr DH & AB rewrote this entire scene ten minutes before they needed to shoot it. Darn rain.

Shooting within twelve minutes

In bulk! You ot McNab's number? I like how it's still canon.

KK: Ask apple to give us a laptop for product placement. Studio: they don't know abt this show Apple: LSKDJFKSDHFKJDSHF YES

SS: I need the winsome smile that hides the sad jamaican clown inside.

DH: I'm a PC man, I had to get Microsoft to send me up something.

ML doing her lines killer.

Gus eating Henry's baked goods XD

Ooh ooh idea for the future! Excited!

frantically cleaning

"Do you want me to come with you to prom? Awkward class?" Gus is like his wife.

They had to reshoot this scene bc CB was casting a shadow on JRr SF: It's such a fun relationship to write. Each time one of you reaches out, the other one springs back.

Oh the wheeling backwards is soo good, stay on the TV but watching Lassiter go back like this. His little walk back is so good. I love it. TV, zoom, TV, & now we're in the psych office, thanks film school 101!

I would have loved to see more of Ken. Ran over their feet with his wheelchair.

SF: Hannah the film student was supposed to be all quirky, strange, but when she showed up to set she was ready for the red carpet with long flowing hair & I was like "No, No!"

*german tourists getting drenched in the rain*

NOW they let her hair out & then gus sniffing

That poster is smth SF made as an undergrad

Gus knows so much niche information. He knows frame rates & stuff, & look at his 29.97 frames per second off the top of his head.

SS: 30 times faster BG: 1 800 times faster.

I love the night cycle name tho. *Gus gone*

Ken just there I love him but then the dang eleven point turn. They had to cut so much of the show to leave room for it.

I love stunt drivers. Mountains in midnight & "the great white north" & this was filmed in Yukon!?

"It's zero degrees outside" Me, canadian: That's nothing Them, american: 0f = -18c me: oh DH: *delirious from being sick*

"fairly to pretty damn" & at the end Shawn runs & leaves him hanging. Ooh SF' dad Carlytown XD

"Not my first time alone in a coffin" what kind of a psychfact is this?

That was shot on the stairs from lights camera homicidio

His dad was acting as the consultant on the show this year

She knows. She saw it say Bruton Gaster. She knows Shawn takes private cases.

SF: When Kirsten first read the script I forgot to tell her how it ends, so she actually was very very nervous she was being written off the show.

DH & SF: arguing over KN's name Me: I can't hear the difference

I forgot his mom shows up! His face, his fricking face. & Henry just had a date last episode with that crazy Sue B, the chief's friend.

That was great, thanks for the show!

All the people in the world!

[sweetkittytitty]

Last night I had a dream where I studied in Xavier Academy. I also had a dream where I bought jewelry for my friends as gifts. In another dream, I was in junior high, cut PE class and went to the nearest grocery shop to buy candy. I was already awake before my alarm rang at 7:45 am. I got up and took my morning meds and got dressed and had some coffee. I went back to bed, and got up at 9:00 am when my dad came for a visit. He tuned my bicycle, pumped the tires and oiled the brakes and tightened the screws and then he left. He is the best dad in the universe :3 I went back home, went back to bed and got up again. I went to the hairdresser to have my eyebrows plucked, and then I went to the masseur to have my shoulders and neck massaged. Then I went grocery shopping; I bought proper, nutritious food, and also a face mask for next week's beauty care routine, and also seven black leggings (I fitted them before buying)! I went back home and put everything to their rightful places. Elise and I went looking for new clothes but didn't buy much. I saw an amazing witchcore / cottagecore backpack in an alternative clothing shop, but it cost a whoppin' 72 euros! I need to save for it. We took the same train, Elise went to her home and I caught another train to Jani and Elisa's hometown. I saw an old man fall on his ass, so I helped him get back up. I went to the grocery shop to buy milk and then I went to Jani and Elisa's home. Johanna was already there. We had chocolate, coffee, crisps, and pop corn. I left in the evening because I had to make it home early to wash laundry, but because of the back winter the trains were late. I caught two buses back home and went to the supermarket to buy body lotion. Once back home, I set a load of laundry to wash, took my evening meds with supper, and as soon as the laundry is done, I will go to bed. Tomorrow I will sleep as late as I can. I need to do the weekly housework; change the towels and bed sheets, tidy up the bathroom, hoover the floor including from under the furniture, and take out the recycling. I will go to a museum and then I will go see this stand- up comedy show called All Female Panel. On Sunday, I will go to a Scouts happening in the neighborhood, and then I will go to a Coffee-, Ice Cream-, and Chocolate festival. I will go visit my parents after that.

[vickikowalewski]

Day 2 - May 24, 2023: Innsbruck

I woke up at 4am this morning wide awake and ready to start the day. I essentially was asleep on and off from 4pm the day prior so it makes sense that my body caught up on the sleep it needed. Jet lag is the worst sometimes though. I decided to stay in bed until 6am and then got up to some of my physical therapy exercises for about 15 minutes. I have to do 3 exercises daily to make sure I don’t lose what I gained.

I got the 14 CHF breakfast, which seemed a bit steep but it’s Switzerland (trust me, that’s cheap) and it was all you can eat and drink. I didn’t get any pictures but it was absolutely delicious. The meat and cheese was out of this world. I went back for cheese three times. I also enjoyed some Nutella, my ultimate guilty pleasure, with one of the 10 different types of bed offered. I met a lady from the USA who was so enjoyable to talk to. She is newly divorced and enjoying her new life. Her and her friend are starting a hike that lasts 9 days going from Zurich to Geneva. Aside from the large amount of rain she will likely endure, she will probably have an amazing experience.

I had a hard time booking my ticket to Innsbruck so I had to arrive at the train station early and got it he ticket counter. I can’t believe some of the things I see in Switzerland. Children walking alone to school, bassinets outside of businesses, it’s really amazing how safe this country is. After some discussion at the ticket counter, the ticket I tried to book wasn’t available because the train’s engine broke on the route this morning. Basically, no direct train to Innsbruck today. I ended up getting a half price ticket with my Swiss Travel Pass (my travel was covered up to the border with Lichtenstein). The train I ended up getting wasn’t bad though. It was only 2 extra minutes with 2 short platform connections.

At the platform, I saw a family from the USA with way too many bags (think two 50 pound bags per person with children included) who were freaking out about having to change platforms with all the bags. Packing light is key in Europe. I couldn’t help but shake my head after talking to them, clearly this family had never visited Europe before and they were in way over their head.

I would dare to say at least 80-90% of people I’ve encountered have started speaking to me in German before realizing I am an English speaker, and sometimes seem a bit surprised that I’m an American. For instance, I had to re-correct the man at the electronics store that I need a USA-to-Swiss power adapter instead of a European-to-Swiss power adapter. But then again, I don’t act like an entitled moron and I dress half-decent. I would say the Swiss are a bit more convinced I’m German-speaking than the Austrians though. Something in Austria gives me away a bit more. Maybe it’s my teeth. Americans are known for having nice teeth.

The train ride was overall very nice even though there were unexpected stops and transfers. Everything went smoothly. As I was riding the train through Austria, the weather changed dramatically. The cabin car got extremely cold and it started to rain. You could look to the top of the surrounding mountains and you could tell it was snowing instead of raining.

My arrival into Innsbruck was miserable. My train arrived at 14:11 and it was pouring ice cold rain. I couldn’t check-in until 3pm and I hadn’t eaten since 6:30am so I decided to stop at a cafe for some lunch and a cappuccino to warm up. Prices were reasonable and the portions were generous so I was happy about that. Food and coffee were quite tasty as well.

I really didn’t feel like walking around in the pouring rain much so after I checked into my Airbnb, I decided to go to a science museum nearby. It was all about hearing and the brain. It was children-focused but still very interesting. Afterwards, I stopped at a bar for some Stiegel, the beer of Austria. My server was quite entertaining. I do really enjoy Austrians. They truly have a quiet sense of humor.

I’m still extremely jet lagged and struggling trying to stay awake so it’s bedtime for me. I made it until almost 8pm tonight. That’s progress. Goodnight!

[survey--s]

493.

Do you have a reason to smile right now? Sure, I’m mid-way through a week off work which has been amazing. I’ve had a beach ride and a great lesson cantering Stanley, I’ve caught up on my sleep as well as on stuff that needs doing round the house, and I have a predator experience booked on Friday where I can go and hand-feed wolves and foxes! Do you start the shower water before or after you get in? Always before, unless it’s really hot/humid and I feel like blasting myself with colder water lol.

True or false: You’re not sitting on a chair to use the computer right now. True. I’m sitting on the sofa with my legs out in front of me and the dog curled up to my left.

Do you regret any of your past relationships? No.

How many times have you been to a museum? Thousands of times. My parents were majorly into museums when I was growing up and we went to at least 3-4 every single time we went anywhere lol. My schools were all big on museums too and we had trips there most years.

How has this past week been for you? Really good. I haven’t had a proper break from work since December so it’s been so nice to just be able to do whatever I want for a while, lol. It’s gone way too quickly though.

Is anything going to happen in the next month that makes you happy? Yes! My predator experience on Friday.

Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? No, we have four which is our limit really, both financially and practically.

Do you like the rain? No.

Do you like it when stores have sales? I mean, sure. Who doesn’t like saving money? lol.

Would you rather be a Panda or Grizzly bear? Panda.

Do you have any of your Easter candy left over? I only got one egg that had three little eggs with it. I have half of the main chocolate egg leftover, but that’s it.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be? Nah.

Does your ex make you mad? Nope. He doesn’t really make me feel anything anymore.

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight? I have no plans to call anyone tonight.

Do you like BBQ sauce? I love it as long as it’s not too overpowering. Sometimes it can be really strong and then you can’t taste anything else.

Do the stairs in your house have carpet? They do indeed.

What were you doing at 9 AM this morning? I was still in bed lol. I was awake though, I think I was just messing about on my phone and cuddling with the dog.

Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? Probably not anymore, but I used to be able to.

Would you rather eat 12 hot dogs or 6 hamburgers? Six burgers.

What color is the door to your basement? We don’t even have a basement.

Was your favorite class science because of the experiments? No, I hated science classes.

Do you like citrus pop or any drinks? I mean, I like lemonade and orange fanta/tango.

Last time you wore the opposite sex’s clothing? I wore Mike’s socks yesterday lol.

What’s the last board game you played? Monopoly.

What laundry detergent do you use? Just the cheap Tesco own brand stuff.

Do you trust people too easily? Not anymore.

Are you currently fighting with someone? No.

Do you hang out with your siblings friends? I don’t have any siblings.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Before my beach ride on Sunday but in a good way lol. We were SO lucky with the weather and Joe was such a good boy looking after me.

Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? Nope.

Do you set good examples for little kids? I mean, I don’t need to. I don’t have kids and have no reason to spend any time with them.

Does your favorite song mention a famous person’s name in it? I don’t think so.

Are you counting down the days to anything? My predator experience and also going back to work on Monday.

Does your house have a pool? Nope.

If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it by yourself? Depends on the problem. I can do basic software stuff but anything that involves opening up the back would need a professional.

On a scale 1-10, how much does the opposite sex confuse you? I mean, whether someone confuses me or not has nothing to do with their sex.

When you party, do you get wild? I don’t party lol.

If you found a wallet full of money, what would you do? Check for ID and return it. If there’s no ID, I’d probably hand it in or do a post on social media asking for the person to describe it etc.

Do you do cheers often? Like...toasts? No. Do you enjoy fishing? No. Mike is obsessed with fishing and he always tries to get me interested and honestly, I find it boring as fuck.

Was your first job babysitting? No, dog-sitting lol. Did you wear a hoodie today? No.

Are you embarrassed to talk about stuff with your dad? No, my dad is actually surprisingly good for stuff like that. It helps that he was a doctor before he retired so he’s probably seen and heard it all lol.

Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood?  I’m not a fan of either.

[stewardofningishzida]

In Memoriam: M.X.

While in college, after I had switched majors from environmental studies to biology, I quit my work at the museum to focus more on medicine. Originally, I was studying for the MCAT and going to apply to medical school. To be sure that I knew what I wanted and to get a taste of working in a hospital, I signed up for an internship at a local hospital. After receiving the proper training, I became a nursing assistant. For the first few months, things ran smoothly. Even on tough cases, I did just fine…Until one.

M.X. wasn’t any trouble in particular. She was an elderly woman who was usually half-asleep and would go along with anything required. The nursing staff usually spoke loudly to her. I thought it was because she was hard of hearing. Though I wanted to try and be more respectful. So, I would usually lean over and talk to her normally, but closer and clearer so she could hear without me shouting at her. Keep this in mind for later.

I would feed her in the morning, move her to prevent bedsores, and wash her. She was one of the many patients in the orthopedic ward that I was rotating through. Unfortunately, she was completely bedridden and incredibly frail. Sometimes, she would come close to choking on her food because she had difficulty swallowing and I would need to be very careful while feeding her. I had a partner in the ward, but usually we went our separate ways. This time, she followed me in.

M.X. was in a rather bad state this time and had trouble being alert enough to eat anything. I had her sat up and was trying to coax her awake. When she opened her eyes and started talking, I would gently let her know it was time to eat. She opened her mouth and I carefully put a very small spoonful in to see how she responded. M.X. started gasping a bit and I got worried. So, I stepped back and whispered in my partner’s ear, “Could you please move closer to the code button in case she crashes or has something happen?” My oblivious partner responded in a normal voice, “What?” I sighed and gave her a look before saying in a hushed tone, but slightly above a whisper, “Could you please stay close to the button in case she crashes?” Unfortunately, M.X. had better hearing than we had previously thought. She had heard me.

M.X. was awake and looked at me and then my partner, who realized what just happened. My partner, deciding they suddenly had other patients to attend to, left. M.X. then asked me, “Am I going to die?” I was quiet because I was shocked at my partner’s obliviousness and my own mistake. She started to get scared and begged me to save her life. I apologized profusely and said that she was going to be okay. At this point, I think she was too upset to listen to me reassurance and kept asking me to save her. A nurse came in to check on me because I was in the room for longer than I should have been. I explained the situation quietly into her ear and she nodded, moving in to take care of it. I went to finish with my other patients, but felt horrible.

My other shifts went just fine, but for weeks afterwards, every once and a while, M.X. would wake up and beg the nurses to save her. I felt the guilt get worse. I knew she was terminal, but I wasn’t going to tell her. I was also angry at my partner for not paying attention. One day, I came in for my shift and M.X.’s bed was empty. She had passed away. That made me feel even worse. She was alone and scared. Yes, she was kept safe, warm, and fed, but it was horrible thinking about how lonely and terrified she must have felt. She never had any family members visit her. I don’t know if she had any left or if they had simply left her there. Either way, it was awful.

After that shift, I had a mental breakdown at the house. I was already depressed about losing my grandpa, the house, watching my mom be traumatized by her aunt burning to death, and listening to the verbal abuse my grandma heaped on my mom. This was simply too much for me to handle. I quit the internship and just did my college work and nothing more. It was all I could do at the time. My aspirations of becoming a medical doctor were shattered. So, I just drifted through my classes for months, not having any real purpose for my life…

Until my biology professor saw how well I did in lab classes and took me under her wing. That new mentorship was the new beginning that I needed and showed me the path that I’m on now. This is how I decided to become a biomedical researcher and help doctors from behind the scenes, developing new treatments or even cures for them to use to give patients a better chance at a healthy life. Not an MD anymore, but a Ph.D in biomedical science.

M.X. I hope that wherever you are, you’re at peace and happy. I hope you have plenty of company too. Also, I’m sorry.

Note: The nurses spoke loudly to her apparently to wake her up more. Though I only realized that later.

[pbandjesse]

My voice is a lot better today. Not perfect, but a lot better. I was kind of straining at times but honestly today was great and I am really happy.

I did actually sleep pretty well last night. I wasn't sure after my weird meletonion mistake. I stayed up until James got home. The ravens won so they were excited. But I was very sleepy. So I was only awake enough to know the were home and then they told me they were going to shower and I don't remember much past asking them to turn the lights off.

When I woke up I was pretty tired. So I decided to sleep a little longer. I woke up at 830 and scrolled on my phone for a little. When I got up I tossed all the blankets and pillows on the ground and went to get washed and dressed.

I felt really cute today. I have some dry skin on my upper lip and it's making me self conscious but I felt cute beyond that.

I made the bed and had a little breakfast. James made me hash browns. I decided I would collect all the materials for my class. And then I would clean the apartment.

I had a lot of stuff to gather. I had thankfully already done most of the collecting. I double checked my sewing machines. And I'm glad I brought both because when I had an issue with the heavy duty I was able to switch to the brother and it saved a lot of time.

I put everything by the door. And went to work on cleaning. I did change the kitty litter and cleaned the whole box. Vacuumed the whole area. Then worked on cleaning the frog tank. I did a new thing where I got the snails but then put a lot of the water back. I hate how much I was picking up stones but it is progress in dealing with the snails. They will probably never go away but honestly they keep the tank pretty clean, I just hate that there's a thousand of them.

I chilled for a bit. I didn't need to leave until 1130 but I ended up leaving at 11. I packed up the car. It took 3 trips down to the car but that was all good. Everything fit really nice in the back seat. And then I was off.

I decided to drive around Patterson to some of the houses we are looking at. I'm still thinking about the yellow house a lot. So I went to that block and I really like the block. Past that street reminds of of Brooklyn. A little rough but not to bad. We ended up not being able to see the place tonight so we might see some tomorrow. But the yellow one is very much in my mind right now. Even if the bathroom is very small.

I got to creative alliance and parked around the corner. I walked my sewing machine to the front and a nice lady let me inside. Parker was there and it was very loud because the kids were working and having fun doing their graffiti work on canvas. The another artist had music going and everyone was working hard and it was such a lovely space to walk into.

I did a little sorting of my stuff and looking at the supply shelf. I chatted with the other artist. And a few of the kids came up to me to ask why they recognized me. A couple go to puhtok, a few from the museum. It was nice to be recognized.

They had lunch and while they were in the other room I set all my stuff up and moved the furniture a bit so I could be neat and outlet. I was really excited to teach. My voice was still strained but I was still doing alright. By the end of the day I was straining a little more. But I made it through.

And it was a blast. Once they all came in I explained about my voice. They were very sweet about it. I went through my background. Talked about when I learned to sew when I was around their age. I brought, tater tot, my very first plushie. To show them that it won't always be perfect but it's still important that you made it.

And they did such a good job. We went through all the stitches. And I walked them through the materials and tools. And then we got started. They each had a rectangle of fabric they would sew into a small pillow. Using a running stitch, then a back stitch, then a whip stitch. And there were bumps in the road. Mostly tying the strings. But it was fine. A few of them were good enough that they could help each other. And Parker was able to help as well. It was chaotic but honestly I was having the best time.

They would have a little break. One of the kids' dad brought some cookies for everyone to have. I got to have one too! I would have to wrangle a few kids but it was all good. I really liked this group of kids.

Once we were done snack I started with sewing machine stuff. A few of them would stand around while I explained and then we would have a sign up to come get help putting eyes on and going over off their stitches. It was fun. But it was also a lot!! Just go go go. And when my machine messed up I was like. Thank God I had a second machine set up. Everyone was great though. And while no everyone felt comfortable using the machine we got through it all and it was a lot of fun.

I was surprised when Parker came to tell me there was only 5 minutes left. I went "ahhhh!!" And got the last few kids pieces done.

One of the students, Zee's, dad had sent me an email the other day that he wanted to possibly have me come teach a group of kids some model/diorama making. So we had a nice chat about that and I am going to get him a proposal written up soon.

Parker, Zee, and Zee's dad all came together to get the room cleaned up. I collected any pins or needles I found on the ground. I put everything by the door and once it was all ready and packed I went to get the car and drove it around the block. They were all so nice and brought everything outside to help load my car. So nice of them. Me and Parker had a little debrief. And then I was off.

My throat hurt and I was tired but I was really happy. I texted James I was heading home and would please like a salad for dinner.

I was really happy to be home. I parked and brought my one sewing machine inside. James would come home not long after me. They would bring in everything else. Love them.

We talked and looked at Zillow listings. James made pizza for themselves and a salad for me and we just chilled together. It was really nice.

Sweetp would cuddle with me for a bit. And then I went to take a bath.

I did all my lotions. And brushed my teeth. And now I am in bed cuddling and feeling pretty nice.

Tomorrow I have the last farmers market of the season!! I hope it's a fun day. I hope it is beautiful.

Sleep well everyone. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[firstbeachgoblin]

Hey! I hope you’re well, can i request an imagine where reader is Embry’s imprint and they haven’t seen eachother in months because reader has a life she can’t just drop for him but she comes back when the pack is blowing up her phone ? Thank youu and don’t worry if you don’t write it, it’s fine!

Thank you for the request! It took a Long time But It's now complete with a total whopping 5k words!! Any way I hope you enjoy the fic.

I put it under the cut because it's so long but it's my brain baby at the moment lo.

Returning to you.

Embry Call x Reader

5058 words

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Most of my life has been spent in the Forks area so getting to travel to Europe for six months to see the art and culture was a dream come true. The past four months I’ve been travelling through Europe, starting in Greece and ending my trip in the Irish countryside.

The old art and architecture filled me with a joy that I could not get anywhere else in the world. The smells, sounds and sights all played their own part into the experience. I got to see the moon rise over Mount Olympus, the David by Michelangelo in the Vatican, tour through the Louvre, drink wine on the beaches of France and so much more. I’ve been living my best life.

It's been a dream to see the world, I've met so many new people and tried so much food. I’ve enjoyed every minute of my trip, but there was a part of me that longed for the beaches of La Push.

That part is Embry. Embry Call. My boyfriend, my pal, my love and my light. To me Embry is my everything and to him I’m his everything. That is one thing that has been made perfectly clear the past four months I’ve been away. Every day he’s told me he misses me and I know he means it, I’ve been told not just by him but also the rest of the pack.

Everyday I’ve woken up to ‘Good morning I miss you.” Sometimes he phones to tell me that he feels like he might die if I’m away for any longer. I always chuckle and tell him he will survive, it’s not like I’m going away forever; but that's what he feels like it is. This usually earns me a long winded whine from the other end of the line.

My phone buzzed against the smooth surface of the bedside table while Embry’s face flashed across my screen signalling that he’s calling. A smile graces my lips as I pick up the phone to be greeted with his loving voice.

“Hi (y/n)!! I miss you so much.” sadness was laced in his usual cheery greeting, it hurt my heart to be away from him but I would never trade this experience for anything. I’ve been planning this for years and I wasn’t going to pass up cheap plane tickets.

He filled me in on the pack's shenanigans, complaining about how they keep teasing him for being glued to his phone awaiting any updates I would send him. The later it got the heavier my eyelids seemed to feel, my speech started to slur with exhaustion of time zones while Embry continued to become more energetic with each passing minute.

“Em. . .” A yawn interrupted me mid sentence, a low whine emanated from the phone as he knew I would want to get to bed to have the energy for the long trip I’ll embark on tomorrow for Ireland, which is my last stop. I’d be spending the remaining two months of my trip in the lush countryside.

“I think I should get to sleep, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.” I mumbled into the phone.

“But (y/n)!” he dragged out. I knew he wanted to talk longer but I physically cannot do it. Even though Embry and I don’t live together officially yet, we’d talk into the early morning till one of us fell asleep.

“But (y/n) what?” I dragged out the ‘a’ matching his whine.

“I miss you and want you to come home.” I could hear him pause over line before he continued.

“Besides, sleeping isn’t the same without you.”

I ran my hand through my hair gently tugging on the roots easing the tension that’s built up over my trip. As much fun as I’ve had, he does have a point. Sleeping just isn’t the same without Em. My nights have been spent restless in beds that aren’t mine without the comforting touch of my boyfriend; but that doesn’t mean I can just drop everything and go back home.

“Em you know I can’t just pack everything and go home. . .” I looked at the painting that hung over the tv that sat opposite of my bed. A puppy-like whimper fell from his lips when he spoke again, his voice cracked like he was going to cry. It broke my heart hearing him upset.

“I-I know I just really miss you.”

“I know Embry I miss you too, but it’s only two more months then I’ll be home.”

We chatted for ten more minutes before I fell asleep on the phone. As much as I missed falling asleep in his warm embrace I can’t just fly back home, not yet at least.

The blaring of my alarm woke me from my slumber. The clock face read 6:02 a.m. taking everything within myself to peel back the blankets that encased me in their warm grip. I patted through the bed sheets to find my phone only to knock it onto the floor in the process.

My lock screen adorned a photo of Embry with icing smudged across his face from his birthday party but a swamp of text messages from the pack covered my favourite photo of him. Five texts from Leah, seven from Jake, nine texts from Paul, 12 texts and two missed calls from Sam and a whole group chat titled ‘(y/n) come home.’

The group chat kept pinging with the members of the pack who were still awake discussing the logistics of flying out to Ireland to take me back home. Was Embry really causing that much strife in the pack for them to create a group chat? Knowing him, it couldn’t be too far from the truth.

Leah and I call once a week to check in and make sure the other is doing okay since I left. It’s one of my favourite parts of the week being able to have a one on one with someone sensible. Every week she fills me in on Embry begrudgingly, she does it because she knows it makes me happy which I appreciate.

Reading through her texts she didn’t say much in regards to Em’s behaviour the only message relating to him was “come get your man child please, he’s getting snot on the floor.”

I listened through Sam’s voice mails which were begging me to come home, he informed me that once Em knew I was asleep he started moping around Emily’s house again for the fourth consecutive night in a row. This was news to me.

The texts entailed that Embry was becoming a pain on patrol and that Paul ‘couldn’t take another minute of the incessant whining.’ I told them the same thing I told Embry; I’m not dropping everything and rushing back home to sooth the wails of a love sick boy. There isn’t much I can do from across the ocean anyway.

I stretched my body and headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower before I had to leave for the airport.

I packed the few remaining things I left out to prepare for the flight and headed my way to the lobby to check out. I enjoyed travelling but I wasn’t going to miss sleeping in hotels and hostels.

Two weeks have passed since I touched down in Ireland and to say I’ve been having the time of my life is an understatement; I’ve been having a ball living my best life.

The land was capped in a luscious emerald green sea of grass that waved in the wind, the roads were lined with hand built stone walls that marked the division of farmers fields.

Sheep and cattle grazed in pastures, and old castles dotted the countryside. It was gorgeous. It was a view that I wanted to see again, a view I want to see with Embry.

It felt like time was flying by between sight seeing, trail hiking, museum tours and calls with Embry and Leah. It has already been a month. I had one more month before I was to jet set back to the U.S. and see my Embry.

One more month before I was back in La Push surrounded by the scent of sea water and trees with the looming threat of rain constantly overhead except in the summer. For two months of the year La Push was bright and sunny with the expected summer storms that happened.

I had fallen asleep on the phone with Embry again when I realized my phone was lost in the sea of sheets as it buzzed with an incoming phone call.

I couldn’t find it until the call had gone to voicemail and my phone landed on the ground when I gave up and ripped the blankets off of the bed but whoever called must have felt it was really important. Picking up my phone the most unflattering photo of Jacob was plastered on the screen, his name in white.

“Hello?” I asked groggily into the phone, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I looked over at the clock which said in bold red numbers 1 am.

“Hey (y/n)! You sound like you just woke up.” I heard him chortle from the other end.

“That’s because I just woke up Jake, it’s one in the morning.” a yawn escaped my lips, I know I’ll have a rough time getting over jet lag when I go home.

He occupied twenty minutes with idle chatter and borderline interrogation about all the sights I’ve seen before I asked him why he was calling me so early in the morning

“Embry has spent the week at my house, you need to come home there’s nothing we can do anymore to occupy him till you return.” He sighed, Jake knows I want to finish my trip but we made a deal that I would come home early if there were absolutely no options left to keep Embry from sending the pack into hysterics.

I knew he was buttering me up for something.

“Are you sure you can’t figure something out? It’s just another month!”

“Another month of him eating my cereal and getting dirt on me from my dad!”

I snorted with laughter at the fact that Billy was telling Embry every embarrassing detail from his childhood.

“Jake please just let me think about it okay?” I sighed, flopping back into my hollowed cave of blankets and sheets.

“Okay, I’ll let you think about it but don’t think I won’t be telling Sam.” he warned.

We laughed together and he wished me a good night before hanging up the phone, before I slipped back into slumber I sent Jake one more text.

‘You wake me up at one in the morning again and it’s over for you.’ in which he responded with ‘Oh no I’m so scared lol.’

I reached over to the bedside table and plugged my phone in before the sweet embrace of warmth and slumber took over my senses.

The next three days I was bombarded with texts from Paul whining about the wolf mind link and how every patrol shift he had with Embry was spent tuning out his constant thoughts of me.

Standing in the shower with hot water running over my skin soothing my tense muscles I heard my phone buzz against the granite countertop. I rolled my eyes and continued to bask in the endless hotel hot water.

As bad as staying in hotels could be, the hot water made up for the early breakfast and sheets that were tucked in a little too tightly.

I had shampoo in my hair when my phone started buzzing again, this time with a call. I grumbled under the stream of water washing away the soap before it could get in my eyes; whoever's calling can wait.

I moved on to conditioning my hair, letting it sit while I wash the rest of my body with a lightly scented lavender soap.

I refused to use the complimentary soap because it dried out my skin and the lotion just left me feeling sticky instead of moisturized.

Watching the soap run down the drain my phone rang again, I clenched my fists, who could possibly be calling me now? I still refused to get out of my steamy heaven to answer my phone.

My gut told me that whoever was calling wouldn’t let up until I answered. I washed out the conditioner from my hair and wrapped it in a towel.

The mirror was coated in a layer of steam, the tiles were cool against my feet. I wrapped the plush towel around my body, mopping up the droplets of water that remained.

My phone started vibrating with rapid fire text messages from the pack’s group chat they made a month ago. I sighed, picking it up to sift through the messages. I read a message from Jared telling me he’d pay me to return.

The pack always made me laugh, together they’re a walking sitcom. There is never a dull moment with them, someone always had something witty or sarcastic to say.

I checked to see who had called me and it turned out it was Sam, I listened to his voice mails and immediately phoned him back.

As soon as I hit the call button it only rang for half a second before he picked up.

“Thank you for calling back, I thought I’d have to call two more times.” he chuckled.

“Well I was in the middle of a shower, can’t really take a call there.” I moved through the room with my phone pressed between my shoulder and cheek. Stopping at my suitcase to pick out what I was going to wear for the day.

“I’m going to be frank with you, I need you to come home. . .” I let out a huff before he continued.

“Embry needs you badly, he’s just a pile of mush on the floor now. It’s a chore to get him up to go on patrol. Please?”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do Sam, I’ll try to book a flight for the earliest date I can find.” I knew I was giving in but from what they were telling me and the constant texts were getting to be difficult to manage.

“Thank you, when you get back I’ll buy you take out for a month okay?”

“I hate that you know what my weakness is.” I laughed through the phone, a month of free take out? Hell yeah. It made the prospect of going back a little brighter since I wasn’t going to complete the rest of my trip.

I wasn’t losing out on too much though, I had seen and done everything that I wanted. It wouldn’t be too bad to go home early.

We talked for a couple more minutes before parting ways, I threw my phone on the bed and watched it bounce a couple times before turning my attention back to getting dressed. Since I had a flight to book it was okay to spend the rest of the day lounging in pj’s.

The soft fabric of my pj’s brushed against my skin as I jumped into bed with my computer in hand, and now it was time to book a flight back home. Maybe text Paul and tell him he can quit complaining as well.

I woke up the next morning with my flight booked for take off in the afternoon and my daily good morning text from Embry. I felt a little sad to be leaving such a beautiful country but the trees, ocean and Embry all called my name.

Pacing through the room I grabbed the comfiest set of clothes I packed for my return flight back to Seattle, I had enough time to sleep on the plane to be conscious enough for the three and a half hour drive back to La Push.

I was set for a long day ahead of me but it was going to be worth it in the end, seeing the bright and happy face of my boyfriend, getting to hug him and kiss him again.

I made one last check of the room before I gathered my clothes and toiletry kit and made my way into the bathroom to shower before my long flight. As I was stepping into the shower my phone pinged from the counter with a text from Sam.

“Have you booked that flight yet?” it read.

“Yeah I’m due for take off at 1. I should be back in La Push some time tomorrow!”

My fingers brushed the cool surface of the counter top as I put my phone back and got into the shower, hot water immediately running down my back; this time my phone wasn’t being blown up by a desperate wolf pack trying to get my attention.

I can’t sit in the shower for hours on end this time, I have a flight to catch and a boy to surprise. Embry was currently still under the impression that I would be coming home in two weeks. Boy would he be in for a surprise.

The residual steam wafted out of the bathroom while I brushed my teeth revealing my towel wrapped body and hair in the mirror behind the skin. I checked the time and noted that I had two hours to check out, make my way to the airport, and check into my flight back home. Two more hours before I could smell the trees and ocean, two more hours before I could see my friends and hug Embry.

The time managed to move by in a blur by the time I was shutting the trunk of the yellow cab that was going to drop me off at the airport. I got into the back seat and the driver peeled away from the hotel front onto the winding roads.

“Aye where are you headin’?” The driver inquired in a thick Irish accent.

One thing I noticed in my stay here was that the accent changed in every town or village I passed through. It added to the charm

“Well, I’m on my way home after spending six months in Europe.” My eyes scanned over the green hills that rushed past in a blur.

“My favourite places I’ve been have definitely been Ireland and Greece.” I smiled towards him.

The lines around his eyes crinkled with the smile that graced his face at the mention of Ireland.

“Well that’s good to hear innit? Glad you’ve enjoyed your stay. We welcome ya with open arms if you return.”

We held a light conversation until we arrived in front of the drop off area for passengers, thanked him and grabbed my bags before heading into the crowded lobby.

The front of the terminal was metal and glass that reached towards the heavens with automatic doors gaping open like a mouth. Inside was a dull white with light grey floor which my shoes clicked against with each step.

It was packed with people like a can of sardines, I weaved my way through the masses towards the check in desk which thankfully only had a short line to get through.

Under the mix of fluorescents and natural light the desk lady’s bags that donned under her eyes glared with visible exhaustion from the mass amounts of people that swarmed the terminal.

Despite her clear drowsiness she still greeted me with a warm smile and a soft hello.

I grabbed my ticket and thanked her then turned and pushed myself through to the security check, dropped my luggage off and took a seat to wait for the boarding call for my flight.

As I waited grey clouds started to fill the sky blocking out the little sun that was once shining in its place.

My eyes grew heavier by each minute that passed, waiting could be hard, but waiting in an airport where there’s no sense of time is worse. So I distracted myself by people watching.

A lady was bouncing her baby, the old man across from me was snoring. A businessman paced back and forth speaking urgently into his phone, a family chatted excitedly for their family trip to the Canary Islands.

I pulled my eyes away from them as the call for my flight rang out over the crowded terminal, grabbing my suitcase and making my way towards the gate.

Excitement filled my every step as the anticipation grew and bubbled inside me. I gave the greeting flight attendant a small smile and made my way to my seat, for being last minute I managed to get a window seat.

We sat on the tarmac for twenty minutes before taking off and before I knew it the seat belt light pinged off and I was fast asleep jet setting my way back to America, back to my home.

I couldn’t tell what time it was when I woke up but the clock on the tv screen said 2 a.m. and that we’re due to arrive in an hour. I sat up in my seat and gazed out the window into the starry night sky.

Energy started to course through me as I watched the arrival time tick closer and closer. A light rain misted down over Seattle as I left the Seatac terminal and made my way through the maze of cars in the night that was made darker by the rain.

I spotted my blue Subaru and popped the trunk so my interior and seats wouldn’t get wet. It had been a long six months since I last sat in my driver's seat, the wheel almost felt foreign in my hands as I turned the key and listened to the engine roar to life.

I drove through the winding roads of the city to the Seattle-Bainbridge Ferry to take the 45 minute ride into Bainbridge and headed North to get on the 101 then turn onto 110 which would take me back into the heart of La Push.

The closer I got to Forks the brighter the sky became; well as bright as it could be on a gloomy day. The clouds became painted in the glow of purple and pink as the sun rose over the horizon, the rain had let up and left me with an overcast sky for the remainder of the drive back.

Since I slept virtually the entire flight back I didn’t feel the weight of exhaustion at all, but surely when I arrived back in the arms of Embry I knew I’d hit the wall with sleep deprivation.

As I barreled through the corridor of trees I passed the signature ‘welcome to Forks’ sign and turned right onto the 110, twenty minutes to home. I was so close but my soul felt like it was light years away.

The clock on my radio told me that it was currently 6:45, the pinks and purples that coated the sky faded away to the typical grey that fills my senses with delight. Sea salt and washed up kelp started to seep into the air that circulated into my car making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

Closer to Beach Drive I got the stronger the smell of the ocean became. The turn signal clicked as I turned onto the road that gave way to Sam and Emily’s house so they could take me over to Embry’s in the off chance that he happened to be awake at this hour.

It’s highly unlikely that he would be up at this hour but it’s not something I could be one hundred percent positive about. I stepped out of my car and turned around to see Emily running as fast as she possibly could towards me with open arms and a huge smile plastered across her face.

Dropping my bags I dashed across their lawn into her embrace.

“Oh (y/n)! I missed you so much, you must be so tired.” She released me from her hug and settled her hands on my shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze.

“I missed you too Emily, I knew I’d be tired but not this tired.” I chuckled while wiping at my under eyes in a feeble attempt to wipe away the exhaustion.

She put her hand on my lower back and led me inside for the awaiting cup of tea while Sam moved my bags into his truck.

The warmth of their home embraced me, the comfort of their kitchen was familiar. The only thing missing was the rowdy group of boys that made up the pack who usually occupied every available seat in the home.

I took a seat at the kitchen table where three cups of tea sat waiting, I should have expected a q and a when I returned. Wrapping my hands around the mug the warmth that radiated from it filled my hands.

Emily took a seat beside me and Sam entered through the door and sat adjacent to both of us.

“So how was the trip?” We sat around their table chatting until our cups were empty and filed out of the house into the early morning air.

“Emily and I will drive your car back to your place after I drop you off at Embry’s, the kid’s been sleeping in my living room more often than I’d appreciate.” Sam’s eyes crinkled with a smile, I knew he was joking but at the same time there was truth to his words; and honestly I couldn’t blame him.

“Thank you for putting up with him while I was gone, I owe you guys one and you owe me take out for a month.” He rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair turning into the Call's driveway. Embry’s mom had already left for work leaving him to his own devices; which meant he would sleep in as late as his heart desired.

We got out of Sam’s truck and he dropped my bags on the doorstep. I turned and gave him a quick hug and a thank you before sticking my key into the lock.

The door creaked open and I dragged my suitcases to a stop in their front entry way and shut it behind me.

My shoes landed on the floor with a soft thud and I gingerly walked up the stairs to ensure I wasn’t too noisy while making sure to avoid the one squeaky stair.

I got to the top of the stairs and hung a left down their light beige hallway that gave way to the oak door that guarded Embry’s room. His soft snores filtered through the door, it’s door knob was cool in my hand. Making an audible click with the turn of my wrist.

Dark mahogany brown hair peaked up from beneath the sheet that tucked Embry’s body out of view. One pillow was on the floor while the other was tucked firmly between his cheek and arm, I smiled at the sight of my sleeping boyfriend which filled my every inch with the utmost joy.

My sock covered feet pressed into the carpeted flooring with each step I took towards his bed making sure to step over the piles of dirty clothes that were scattered around the room.

The sun filtered through the gaps in the window blinds casting pools of golden light on the floor and along his walls causing the crystal prism that hung above his closet to sweep dashes of colour across his walls.

I pulled back the grey top sheet to reveal his peaceful face and I swear my heart was going to burst with the amount of love that I feel for him. His hair was tousled in every direction and a cow lick stuck straight up on the left side of his head.

My hands ran over his hair, smoothing it out while I whispered his name. Embry groaned a bit and rolled over, I whispered his name a little bit louder and moved my hands from his hair to his shoulders running them along his arms finally waking him from his slumber.

“Hi Em!” I gushed out as his brown eyes opened and focused on me. His face split with his toothy smile and his arms shot around me, pulling me down into his chest.

“Do you know how much I missed you?” Embry mumbled into my hair.

“I figured a lot with the amount of texts I got from the pack.” I reached up brushing the hair from his face.

“You can never leave me for that long again. . .I didn’t know what to do without you here.” He ran his hands through my hair placing a gentle kiss upon the top of my head.

“I was so worried about you. I couldn’t protect you and make sure you were safe.”

“Well next time I’ll make sure you can come, then you don’t have to worry.” Craning my neck up I placed a kiss upon his lips which were still a bit swollen from slumber.

“The important thing is that I returned safe and in one piece. The other important thing is I get to spoil you with the gifts I brought back!”

His laugh filled the room sending vibrations through my body.

“Hey! That’s my job to spoil you, not the other way around.” He ruffled my hair causing us both to laugh. I peeled off my socks and wiggled my way under his blanket.

“I think it’s time we catch up on six months worth of cuddling.” I poked a finger into his side.

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea, you owe me for being gone so long.”

“What? I came back early!” His hands made their way under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my back sending waves of heat through my body from being pressed into him. Oh how I missed my heater.

“Yeah, by like what? Two weeks?” his silky voice chuckled out.

“I missed you Embry.” I told him, placing a kiss on his exposed shoulder.

“I missed you too. Now let's go back to sleep, you look tired.” He said to me as he rested his chin atop my head and pulling me closer.

[thedandelion-writer]

❝sleeping habbits, liyue edition❞

Pairings: Xiao x gn!reader, Ganyu x gn!reader, Zhongli x gn!reader, Keqing x gn!reader

<- Mondstadt edition

A/N: I just thought it'd be cute, okay?

P.s. This is a modern au just because

He sleeps with a nightlight and you cannot tell me otherwise

Don't tease him about it! He will get all cold and snappy

You know why he keeps it on though, it helps with the nightmares

Xiao doesn't really like to sleep, so sometimes you have to coax him into bed

Even then, he's always up before you are

You rub your eyes awake, rolling over to his side of the bed. It was cold, evident that he'd been up for a while now. The window was open, letting in the cool morning air. Xiao always said it helped calm him when his head started getting too loud.

"Breakfast is getting cold," came a gruff voice.

He was leaning against the doorframe.

"It's not my fault you made it so damn early," you yawned and stretched, not bothering to even sit up.

"Come kiss me good morning, or else I'm going back to sleep."

You closed your eyes, offering him your cheek while still comfortably swaddled in blankets. It took some time for him to come over, the crossed arms and annoyed face did nothing to cover his red cheeks.

Briefly pressed his lips to your temple, muttering a "childish" before he walked out.

Sometimes, you'd even have to sing him to sleep

He won't ask you to do it, but when you do, he sleeps relatively better

Acts like he doesn't want you close but when you snuggle up to him, he never refuses

Lets you steal all the blankets because he'd give you the world if you asked for it

The type of person to have a schedule of when to sleep and when to wake up

According to Ganyu, sunlight is nature's alarm clock

She keeps the curtains open to let natural moonlight in because for some reason, it makes her feel safe. And in the morning, she's up when the first rays of sunshine hit her face

Would love to sleep in if she could honestly, but duty calls (she'll just take an afternoon nap later)

Also snores lightly, not enough to disturb you, but enough for you to coo to yourself at how adorable she sounds

For some reason, it was still dark, and you were already awake.

"What time is it," you made sure to lower your voice, then propping up your body on your elbows to check the time on Ganyu's bedside table.

"4:32 am...what the hell..."

You looked over to your sleeping girlfriend, hair looking an even deeper hue of indigo due to the pre-sunrise sky. She whimpered, shifting about a little, and you were afraid she would wake up, so you caressed hair ever so gently.

"Shh, it's alright," you whispered. "That's it, don't wake up yet, you've got a busy day tomorrow."

You kept your hand on the side of her head, eventually falling asleep to her soft snores and the peacefulness of it all.

She gets cold feet, so one day you decided to buy her a bunch of cute socks and now she wears them everywhere. Even to work!

Ganyu also likes scented candles, preferably nature inspired fragrances like rain, grass, etc

You grew to like them as well, and now you both can't sleep without lighting one every night before bed

This man sleeps like a rock

No pun intended, I'm being serious

If anyone remembers that scene in Mulan 2 when Mushu unsucessfully tries to wake Shang up by crashing his cymbals? Then yeah, like that

Minus the part where Shang eventually wakes up

I'm only half kidding

He doesn't move either. Like at all.

Zhongli would stay in the same position throughout the night, which is usually facing you

This makes for opportunities

"Lao gong~" you inched your face closer to his, testing if he was asleep before proceeding admiring him as if he were a marble statue at a museum.

You poked his cheek. No reaction. You brushed his bangs away from his forehead, kissing him there, down to his nose and then at the corner of his mouth. You'd have to save one more for later.

"Truly, how did I get so lucky?" You settled in between one arm, lying your head down on his chest.

If only we could stay like this forever. That would be enough.

The beating of his heart matched yours, the sheets intermingled your warmth with his, never have you felt this connected to another being. In the quiet moments of the night, you told him you loved him.

*lăo gōng (老公) a sweet way of calling one's husband

Whenever either of you have trouble sleeping, tea is always the answer (or just for those cold nights)

Therefore, a boiler, tea pots/cups, and a variety of tea bags could be found in the bedroom

Goodnight kisses are a must, almost always given from him to you.

No matter when she sleeps, Keqing will always wake up at the same time every morning

And no matter where you both start out at the beginning of the night, she would always end up tangled with you

Not that you mind, but she got all huffy and embarrassed at first

Now she just accepts that it's her fault

Something was tickling your nose. In a bleary daze, you tried to lift your hand to swipe whatever annoyance was causing it--to no avail. Both your arms, and even your legs were locked down by a weight.

You blowed at it, scrunched up your face to hopefully get rid of the itch. Which backfired because your movements caused Keqing to stir, tilting her head up a bit and shoving hair into your already violated nostrils.

"Oh archons I'm gonna..." your eyes turned watery, shoulders rising as you tried to suppress it. And failed, yet again.

"A-ACHOO!"

You lurched violently, waking your lover up in the process. But at least the itch went away, and your limbs were no longer constricted!

"Y/N, couldn't you have sneezed into a pillow?" Keqing grumbled (as you can tell, not a morning person).

"I'm sorry I'm sorry, it's just...your head was so close to my face and-"

She held up a palm as if to say 'I get it, please shut up', and laid back down, scooching to the end of her side of the mattress.

As if that would do anything! She'd likely invade your territory again before daybreak, you guarantee it.

"Uhh- tian xin, maybe if you tied your hair? You know you're just going to come to me again."

Keqing thought about it for a moment (or maybe drowsiness delayed her reaction time), so she reached into her bedside drawer, handing you a ribbon.

She spread out her locks onto the pillow and turned to face the other way, pointing for you to do it for her.

You chuckled, getting to work, even giving her a short scalp massage in the process. After tying the knot, she was back to being fast asleep.

Snaking an arm around her waist, you kissed her shoulder, wishing to join her once again in slumber.

*tián xīn (甜心) meaning sweetheart

**mom i'm finally using my sucky chinese for something useful, aren't you proud?

You can't tell me she doesn't have at least one Morax plushie

One time you got jealous because it was like that one meme

Ah yes, my girlfriend and her favourite thing to cuddle to sleep, her Rex Lapis doll

You find out that Keqing actually needs to hold something to sleep properly

Which is cute but she'd deny deny deny

Later on, she latches onto you (as shown above)

You're warm, she says

[risukadarlin]

[piofiore no banshou] vol. 1: nicola - track one

1; capriccioso

masterpost

                                                                                ✿

[00:11] It’s morning already?

I need to get up…

Huh? No, I wasn’t–

I’m not asleep.

I’m awake already…

I mean it…

Yeah, I’m getting up.

Just a little longer…

5 more minutes.

You sleep too.

Oversleeping is the best.

It’s fine.

You don’t need to worry; the bed’s not going anywhere.

I’ll protect you.

Just a little…

Me too.

I love you.

                                                                               ✿

[01:34] Erm…

I’m sorry.

Are you still angry at me?

Then why won’t you look me in the eyes?

You’ve been cold with me all morning, right?

Whenever I try to hold your hand, you just run away.

Hey, signorina. 

I didn’t forget we had a date planned, okay?

We ended up setting off a bit late but I was looking forward to today just as much as you were.

Right? You remember me saying I couldn’t wait until next week every chance I got, right?

But, if you’ll let me make excuses…

It’s been three weeks since we arrived in New York and I’ve done my best to wake up every morning.

Now that work has started to settle down, I’m finally feeling the exhaustion.

I love relaxing in bed with you too.

And I’ve been holding back recently.

I got carried away…

That’s right!

Holding back.

I’m not lying.

I’ve held back a lot.

Every day even, if I’m being honest.

It takes everything in me not to grab you when you come and wake me up and spend the whole day in bed with you.

I really am not a morning person.

If I wake up, I can usually stay awake…

Hey, do you remember when I proposed to you?

I actually wanted to make it more romantic.

I wanted to make it a moment you’d remember forever.

Like when we went to Milano.

You were really happy then.

So I thought about asking while we were on vacation.

Somewhere romantic and linked to love.

Like Romeo and Juliet’s city of Verona.

Or the Basilica of San Valentino in Terni.

Or we could chat while walking along the riviera ligure.

It’s not that funny…

But you’re right, it’s not like me.

I know that.

I never even dreamed of getting married before.

And now I can’t stop thinking about the possibilities.

And I was so worried about what I’d do if you said no.

Or what I’d do if Sister Sophia didn’t allow it.

But when you came to wake me up that morning…

The moment I saw you…

I realised I loved you and wanted you to be by my side forever.

I forgot every plan I’d made until that point.

I usually plan in detail before I do anything.

But when it comes to you, I always act before I think.

It was the same when I kissed you for the first time.

We weren’t dating, but…

It’s your fault too!

Well, anyway! What I’m trying to say is…

I love it when you wake me up.

So much that I ruin my own plans.

You thought it was just a joke, though.

I’m not angry.

I did sulk for a bit though.

So stop being angry with me, okay?

Grazie.

I’m happy you forgive me.

I know you just forgave me and this might make you angry again, but…

The truth is, I love cheering you up.

Because my lovely fiancée never gets angry or upset with people, does she?

It makes me a little happy that only I get to see that side of you.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Signorina, I can see it now.

That’s America’s largest art gallery.

The Met - The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

The building’s design is classicist, I think?

It fits in really well with the other buildings on Fifth Avenue.

They look really similar.

Maybe they were designed by the same person.

I can’t believe we live close to such a large building.

Central Park is huge.

                                                                               ✿

[06:25] I was told it would be big but I didn’t realise how big!

I can’t think of anything this huge in Italy.

I bet every museum we have is smaller.

It’s unusual that it was built using donations too.

It means that a great deal of people were willing to give a great deal of money.

They believed it would really help with America’s development.

So, where should we start?

Maybe we should start from their very first artefact - a marble sarcophagus from the Roman era.

Apparently they have a lot of Egyptian items too.

They still carry out their own excavations and display any of the buried goods they find.

And paintings too. 

I’m sure they have some Vermeer.

Woman with a Water Jug, I think.

The blue of Vermeer is famous for being made with lapis lazuli.

Of course.

Let’s look at everything in order.

I’m glad you’re having fun.

It’s making me happy too.

I’m sorry for not being able to take you sightseeing often after we came all this way together.

If I had more time, I’d take you to other cities too, like Washington.

We could even go to Chicago and meet Gilbert.

No, it’s not like I want to meet him or anything.

But he must be lonely after leaving Burlone despite all that time getting used to it.

And I thought you might want to meet him too.

I know.

You were thinking about me.

Dante was right to choose you as my watchdog.

You’ve done your job perfectly since we arrived.

You are a bit stubborn, though.

Whenever I asked you if you wanted to go out, you’d tell me you just wanted to stay in your room.

I know it’s so I can rest properly, so I was a little grateful.

I rested much better than when I was in Burlone.

Those days together in the hotel doing nothing all day were the best.

Work was going well too and we prepared for the move here perfectly.

We found a great place to live too.

Luck must have been on our side.

If you hadn’t come too, I would have worked as much as I could and then returned to Italy.

People in Burlone would struggle without me.

Dante actually warned me about it before we left.

He said “these tickets are for a round trip, make sure you come home on time.”

He’s the one who told me to bring you with me.

He told me not to waste my time with you.

He must still be worried after what happened last year.

After the incident, he told me that he’d pushed something he should have dealt with himself onto me.

It’s so like him to feel that kind of responsibility.

But, even if I didn’t know about him, I do feel bad for leaving him to carry everything by himself for so long.

But the duty that’s bound him - bound the Falzone’s - for so long crumbled to ashes that day…

The secret’s still there, though.

The three of us are accomplices in that respect.

I’m sorry for ruining the mood.

Anyway, we still have a week until the boat home.

It’s not very long but let’s have as much fun as we can.

We can’t go far but there’s still loads to see.

There’s so much I want to get used to.

Most of our members have never been to America.

Let’s learn as much as we can so we can show Dante and Leo around next time.

[ragingbookdragon]

Time Stops When I Look At You

Barry Allen x Wondersis One-Shot

Word Count: 1.8K Warnings: None

Author's Note: Based on the ask I received! Love this pairing now! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

When he opened the door at seven AM after getting in at three that morning, he wasn’t happy. And Hal Jordan certainly wasn’t happy to see her with a bright smile on her face as she greeted, “My dearest friend! What a blessed morning we are having, yes!”

He blinked blearily at her. “It was a blessed morning…when I was still sleeping.”

“Are you telling me you do not rise with the sun and train?” she asked. “I thought that was standard for the warriors of the United of American States.”

“United States of America, (Y/N),” he corrected, opening the door. “And to answer your question, I haven’t been in the military for a few years now. I get to sleep in before I go to work.”

(Y/N) hummed as she stepped inside. “That seems like a waste of valuable time.” She glanced back at him. “I have something important to discuss with you.”

Hal merely made a noise low in his throat and lumbered down the hall, her on his heels, into his bedroom; he collapsed back onto the bed and pulled the covers up to his ears. “What’s on your mind, Princess?”

She quickly unhooked her greaves before climbing onto the bed, laying across his body. “I am unsure of how to show affections for someone.”

He adjusted his body so that her head was on his stomach. “Really? The Princess gifted by Aphrodite doesn’t know how to show you’ve got a crush on somebody? Who woulda thought?”

(Y/N) dug her chin into his gut. “You mock me, my dearest friend.” She let out a sigh. “I was going to offer him a blade forged by my mother and sisters and recite Sappho’s Ode to Aphrodite to win his favor.” Her eyes drifted to his. “But I do not know if he likes poetry.”

“Who is ‘he’?” Hal asked.

“Bartholomew.”

He blinked. “Wait…you mean Barry? Like…our Barry?”

She nodded. “Yes.” (Y/N) stared at him. “Does Bartholomew enjoy poetry, Harold? I have more pieces prepared. The Iliad for example.”

“Please, God, don’t call me Harold.” He shuddered. “Makes me think my mom is scolding me.” He sighed, laying his head back. “Barry’s…not exactly a poetry guy. He’s more the ‘take me to a science museum’ type of guy.”

(Y/N) hummed thoughtfully. “Interesting! What is a science museum?”

“Big building with a bunch of things that make lovers of science all tingly inside.”

“And you think Barry would like that better than a sword and poetry?”

Hal snorted. “(Y/N), let’s get one thing clear. You could give Barry a dowry of a million dollars, and he’d still not get the hint.” He glanced down at her. “You’ve literally gotta tell him you like him or he’s not going to get it. Hell, probably though a science line. That’s one way to get through to him. Actually, that’s probably the only way to get through to him.”

“Hmm…and to think I had a dowry prepared back home.”

“What? Seriously?”

“Of course. Many animals and a great deal of gold.” She turned over onto her back, resting the back of her head on his stomach. “Where is a science museum I can take him to? I do not know if there is one in the city I live in.”

“There’s a really cool one in Chicago,” he offered. “I know Barry’d get a hard-on for that place.”

“A hard-on?” (Y/N)’s brows furrowed. “What does that mean?”

“Uh…”

“Is that another euphemism for arousal?”

“…Yeah.”

“You are such a man.”

“Thank you for noticing,” he chirped, glancing out the window. “Well…you woke me up and since I’m awake…wanna get pancakes?”

(Y/N) jumped up, excitement crossing her face. “YES! I LOVE THE CAKES OF PAN! THEY ARE DELICIOUS!”

Hal chuckled, tossing the covers from his body. “Lemme shower really quickly. Hey, and make sure you text Barry about going so he can put it in his schedule.”

She pointed at him. “That is a wonderful idea.”

***

(Y/N) glanced at the watch on her wrist for what seemed like the millionth time, holding the umbrella with her other. The rain poured around her, thunder rumbling above, but she stood hopeful that the Scarlet Speedster would eventually show. They had talked about the museum for days and she’d been anticipating it ever since they agreed to meet up.

Barry had texted that he would be there in the morning, but that had been hours ago, and he hadn’t answered his phone after she’d last called. (Y/N) pursed her lips as the sky darkened, and not from the storm, wondering if he had forgotten.

Perhaps I should have given him the sword and recited the poem? She frowned and looked around, seeing couples walking around, sharing umbrellas and laughing, joy etched onto their faces. No, I must wait. He said he would be here.

But as the hours dwindled and the day turned into evening, she realized he wasn’t going to make it in time. With a sigh, she turned to the doors of the museum; most of the lights were being shut off and the workers were leaving to go home for the evening.

(Y/N) smiled sadly and gripped her umbrella, turning to walk down the street. There was always tomorrow.

***

Barry rushed back to his house, speeding into his bedroom to yank out a dress shirt, a pullover sweater, and a pair of khakis that he hadn’t yet ruined. He’d completely forgotten all about the museum trip (Y/N)’d invited him on, getting so caught up in cases and running around Central, that by the time he remembered, it was already a quarter to six.

He changed and sped through his door, the streets of Central City turning into a blur as he headed for the museum in the next state. He skidded to a stop outside the museum, eyes widening when he saw the doors shut and the lights off.

“Oh no,” he whispered, looking around for (Y/N); she was nowhere to be seen. “Oh no.”

He sprinted down the street, trying to remember if she’d said she was wearing a blue dress or a red one. He should’ve remembered earlier. He should’ve sent a text. He should’ve called. He should’ve—

WHAM!

Barry went barreling to the ground, landing atop something warm and soft. The scent of flowers and metal oil flooded his senses, and after he caught his bearings, he looked up, cheeks flushing when he realized he’d landed on a woman and more importantly, face first into her chest.

“Good evening, Bartholomew.” His eyes darted to the woman’s face, and he saw (Y/N) smiling at him. “You are late.”

He floundered. His mouth opened and closed but nothing came out except a pitiful burst of air as he scrambled off her, face as red as his suit. He bent down, hauling her up. “I’msosorryIdidn’tseewhereIwasgoingandIlandedonyouandIputmyfaceinyourchestandI’msosrry!”

(Y/N) blinked at him. “I…I did not catch that, Bartholomew. Can you repeat that? Slower, perhaps?”

He raised his hands to his face, covering them as he apologized profusely, “I am so sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to be late or land on you or—or stick my face in your—I’m really sorry!”

She giggled. “I am not offended.” She reached out and took his hand, pressing it to her chest. “Many friends have rested their heads on my bosom. They are comfortable, are they not? Like the finest cushions.”

Barry’s jaw dropped and this time all that came out of him was strangled noise. “I can’t feel my face,” he whispered, and she pressed her free hand to his cheeks.

“Hmm, your face is very hot. Shall we go find somewhere cool to rest?” she asked, taking the hand still pressed against her chest; she laced their fingers. “I saw an ice cream store down the street here.”

He let himself be tugged along. Every circuit in his brain had been burned out and his heart was fluttering way too fast for him to think about anything other than calming it down. But it was impossible. Barry could feel the warmth from (Y/N)’s body, could smell the delicate fragrance of roses, could see the beauty that threatened to blind him.

(Y/N) led him around for a few moments, then stopped in front of an ice cream parlor that had a big blue sign. “Here we are.” She led them inside and glanced at the menu. “Do you want anything?”

Barry blinked, looking up, though it was all a blur, still shell-shocked. “I, uh, a milkshake? Chocolate?”

She smiled. “I will order for us. Please, go sit.”

He did as she said, collapsing into one of the seats in the corner, immediately rubbing vigorously at his face to will the blush away.

After a few moments, (Y/N) sat down across from him and placed a frozen drink down. “Here you are, Bartholomew.”

Barry glanced up to see her with her own straw in her mouth, eyes shut, face drawn in joy as she sipped her milkshake. “Thank you,” he replied. “How much was this?”

“Please do not worry about repayment. I do not need one.” She looked at him with a smile. “You came.”

Suddenly he remembered how late he was. The entire day had gone by; Barry lowered his head. “(Y/N)…I’m so sorry about not making it here earlier. I never meant to leave you here all alone.”

“You are a busy man and I understand, Bartholomew. You need not apologize to me.”

He looked up and gazed at her. “You weren’t there. I thought you’d left and gone home.”

“Of course not,” she said, eyes wide. “We said we were going to meet. I was waiting for you.” She coughed slightly. “But I had to use the restroom, so that is the reason you did not see me immediately.”

“Wait,” Barry said. “Were you…were you waiting here all day?”

(Y/N) blinked. “Yes?”

Now Barry felt like a bigger jerk, and he let his head drop again. “I feel terrible, (Y/N). I’m so sorry.”

She merely stared at him, heart beating against her rib cage and the words of her people’s poetry came back to her, but so did Hal’s words. You have to tell him.

Reaching out, she rested her hand on his, urging, “Bartholomew, will you look at me, please?”

He did as she asked, meeting her eyes. “Yeah?”

(Y/N) smiled. “You must be the speed of light, because time stops when I look at you.”

For what felt like the millionth time, Barry’s mouth dropped open. She didn’t know if that was a good or a bad sign. “I…figured you would like, a line as Harold calls it, that was scientific.” (Y/N) smiled awkwardly. “I care for you, Barry. More than the bonds of battle have forged between us and…I would like to spend more time with you. Intimate…close time with you. Just us.”

Barry nodded dumbly, turning his hand over so his palm touched hers; he brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. “I would love to, (Y/N).”

“Oh, you would?” she inquired, face full of joy and he nodded, a smile crossing his own lips.

“Absolutely. But I have one request.”

“Yes?”

Barry smiled at her. “Call me Barry.”

[baroquebucky]

lover is a day

a/n: hi pals !! here is a sort of angsty but fluffy fic inspired by another cuco song ! i cant believe tfaws is over i miss them already :[ lyrics in bold ! srry for any typos </3

buckys mind is racing all the time, you’re there to slow him down

word count: 3.1k

masterlist

will you love this part of me?

Bucky tried his damn best to keep you out of the avenging part of his love. He never introduced you to the team, only telling Steve about you and Sam finding out because he stole Buckys phone and you just so happened to call him.

You saw the trends on Twitter, seeing the videos of your boyfriend easily take down seven men in a bar in madripoor. You tried your best to not watch it, knowing he wouldn’t want you to. Curiosity getting the best of you, you clicked the trend, mouth dropping as you saw the way he fought.

His eyes were cold, he moved like it was second nature to him, it was frightening to see how easy it came to him.

You jumped as your phone vibrated, an incoming call from bucky pausing the video. You hesitated before answering, putting on a bright smile and trying to forget what you had just seen.

“hi doll face” Bucky smiled, you heard the thumping of music in the background.

“hi buck, are you at a club?” You questioned, a smile on your face as he let out a sigh, rolling onto his back on the couch he was on.

“I’m at Sharon’s place, she has this whole museum club thing going on” he explained, your eyes wide at the mention of the agent.

“Sharon? like Steve Sharon? Sharon from shield?” You questioned, bucky smiled at your interest, nodding along to your words, quickly replying when he realized you weren’t on FaceTime.

Bucky kept you in the loop, not wanting you to get caught off guard if anything were to happen. He just made sure you were never in danger and no one knew about you, as much as he’d want to shout from the roof just how much he loved you.

“that’s the one, I’ll explain when i get back” he spoke calmly, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands as he put you on speaker.

Bucky talked about some movie he wanted to watch, your mind drifting back to the video, your heart thumping in your ears.

“doll?” He asked, his voice echoing in you room.

“what, sorry i got distracted” you replied, trying to play it off. Bucky frowned, his heart sinking at the realization.

“you saw it” he spoke simply, moving to sit up on the couch again, his eyes focusing on the floor.

You wanted to lie, say you had no idea what he was talking about. But you couldn’t, mouth opening only to close seconds later.

“I never wanted you to see that part of me” he spoke, you stayed quiet, letting him talk.

“Doll, I’m not him anymore i promise” he hesisted, “Zemo made me do it and i didn’t think i would- i just im gonna go” he spoke, hanging up quickly, heart heavy.

Furthering my distance from you

Bucky was never the best at speaking his mind, always too caught up in his own thoughts to say what he felt, thinking it never mattered and he should keep to himself.

You texted him right after, telling him to please take care, that you loved him. He didn’t reply.

It wasn’t for another couple days when he came home, entering quietly trying to not wake you up in case you were asleep already.

He set his bags down softly, entering the room and expecting to find you curled up. Buckys heart raced as he looked up to see you staring at him with a smile on your face, getting off the bed quickly and throwing yourself onto him.

“i missed you so much james” you whispered, squeezing him slightly as your arms wrapped around him.

“y/n i-” he began, pushing you back softly. You let go reluctantly, knowing he wanted his space.

I’m okay as long as you keep me from going crazy

“Bucky, it’s okay” you replied, stopping him from going down a rabbit hole if you didn’t. You looked at him, the light from your bedside lamp only slightly illuminating the room.

“i know thats not you anymore, sometimes you have to do something’s to get stuff and i get that angel” you spoke, looking at him softly, slowly grabbing his hand and squeezing.

“i still love you bucky, with all my heart” you smiled, wishing you could see the way his cheeks flushed at your words.

He looked up from the floor, you could barely making out the way his lips turned up in a small smile.

“do you really?” He whispered, stepping closer so that your faces were only inches apart. You nodded, eyes flickering to his lips after a couple of seconds.

“I love you more doll” he replied, ears burning as you pulled him in for a kiss, holding the collar of his shirt to pull him closer.

You pulled away with a smile on your face, looking at him for a second before throwing your arms around him, holding him tightly. Bucky wrapped his arms around after a second, placing a kiss ontop of your head, never wanting to let you go.

You can’t get by with a lie

Bucky shot up, sweating and breathing heavy, looking over to see you stirring slightly at his movement.

“buck?” You mumbled, eyes still closed as you turned opening them slightly to reach for the super soldier. You placed a gentle hand on his vibranium one, looking at him with your fuzzy vision.

“nightmare?” you mumbled, sitting up and looking at him, his chest still heaving as he shook his head.

“no it- I’m fine” he spoke, “Cmon let’s get back to sleep” he smiled tightly but you shook your head, looking at him sternly.

“James we talked about this, please, talk to me angel” you looked at him, now fully awake and wanting to help bucky through his nightmares. He hesitated, sighing and fiddling with the edge of the blanket.

“okay” he nodded, heart racing as you helped him through his nightmare. You reminded him how he had changed, how he was a new person and he was trying his best to make amends.

“You’re okay, you’re here and you’re free” you spoke, hugging him tightly and stroking his arm soothingly. Bucky nodded, closing his eyes and focusing on your beating heart.

Funny thing about you is you read me pretty well

You clenched your fist, wanting to throw your laptop across the room as your work frustrated you once again. Your breathing was heavier and you let out a small sigh, not wanting to alert bucky.

After a couple more minutes you felt the tears pricking your eyes, squeezing them shut in hopes they would go away.

You got up quickly, heading toward the kitchen to get a drink of water, leaving bucky alone in the room. He turned to look at you, noting how fast you were walking and the way you were breathing shakily.

Bucky gave you a minute, waiting to see if you’d come back. When you didn’t return he followed you, seeing you staring out the cup in your hand with intense focus.

“doll, what’s wrong?” You looked at him, putting a smile on your face and shaking your head.

“I’m fine buck, just thirsty” he frowned, walking towards you and pulling you into his arms.

“i know you too well for that to work on me doll” he sighed, stroking your back softly as you but back tears, finally letting a sob out. “let it out doll I’m here.”

Me and Mr. Heart we say the cutest things about you

Bucky smiled at the way you jumped for joy when you saw a dog in the park, immediately talking his ear off about how you had always wanted your own.

“don’t you think we should adopt? I think we’re at that point y’know?” You smiled, starry eyes as you turned to look at him.

Never in his life had he felt more in love, he thought of how perfect you looked, with slightly messy hair from the wind and a stain on your shirt from the time he accidentally splashed paint on you.

He felt the world around him fade away, focusing only on you and your words, rattling off some facts about people with pets being happier in an effort to convince him.

Bucky thought of the way you had always cared for him, living him with all you were. He thought of how you were the most caring person in the world to him, how you were the most radiant person in the room no matter what.

He loved you so much and all he wanted was to make you happy.

“I’ve always been a cat person” he teased, loving the way you rolled your eyes with a playful smile on your face.

“we could get a cat, they’re calm and sweet” you nodded, taking his hand and pulling him towards the parking lot.

How could bucky say no when you looked so excited?

You held the white cat in your arms a few weeks later, a huge smile on your face as he purred into your touch.

“welcome home alpine” you smiled, setting the cat down and letting him explore.

Buckys heart grew in his chest, you seemed so unreal. You were everything he ever wanted and everything he ever needed. And you were all his.

You looked at bucky, a smile on your face as he picked up the cat, setting him gently on his lap.

“thought you were gonna get us a dog the whole time we were there” he spoke, looking at you as you stared at the pair, standing across the room and putting away some cat food and toys.

“you said you were a cat person” you replied, “plus you’re happy right?” You questioned, walking over and sitting down next to him, reaching out to scratch the back of Alpines ears.

“very happy doll” he smiled, eyes settling on the cat in his lap, wanting to place kisses all over the now sleeping feline.

“then I’m happy that you’re happy” you smiled, kissing his cheek softly, letting your head rest on his shoulder and enjoy the company of your now two favorite boys.

My lover is a day I can’t forget

“Do you remember how we met?” You asked suddenly, bucky smiled as he recalled the memory.

“doll it’s 3 am” he chuckled, the streetlight sneaking in through the curtains as you two lay in bed.

“so you don’t” you huffed, turning so your back would face him. Bucky smiled at your reaction, quickly turning you back around to face him.

“of course i do doll” he replied, a soft smile still on his face, “why?”

“what did you think of me?” You wondered, wiggling a bit to get more comfortable. You had a small smile on your face as he began talking.

“i thought you were too nice, they got your whole order wrong and you still ate the whole thing” he smiled.

Buckys eyes had immediately landed on you when he entered the small diner, seeing you smiling with a couple of your friends.

Steve was insistent on getting him to go to more places and this was #1 on his list.

“so those are my favorites you can always look through the menu though i guess” steve smiled, noticing his friends focus on you.

“thank you!” You smiled at the waitress, taking the dish from her, turning to your friends as soon as she left.

“i didn’t order this” you grumbled, your friends insisting you send it back.

“but what if she’s having a bad day already? and this is the last straw? It’s fine i can just eat it it’ll be fine” you shook your head, taking a bite and making a face.

“send it back y/n!” Your friend persisted and you shook your head, you were so stubborn.

“it’s not that bad!” You smiled, eating the whole thing, “wish it was the other one though” you giggled as your friends rolled their eyes.

Bucky kept glancing over at you, trying to not make it obvious. Steve decided against saying anything, making easy conversation with his best friend.

You hit your friend gently, a blush on your face when your eyes had landed on the two super soldiers.

“okay don’t be obvious” you began, “that’s steve rogers and bucky barnes?” You whispered, your friends all turning and looking at the table.

Bucky had just so happened the be glancing over, making eye contact with you, his face went red as he saw your whole table staring at the pair.

“You were so shy, you didn’t even have the guts to say hi” he teased and you punched him softly.

“you didn’t say anything either in my defense” you smiled, fiddling with his dog tags.

You turned back quickly, slapping a hand on your face as your friends laughed. “I said don’t be obvious did i not!”

“didn’t you say you would die for him? You talk about him almost everyday” your friend teased and you hit her, face burning.

“shut up! they’re super soldiers what if they hear you” you snuck a glance at their table, seeing the way bucky had a small smirk on his face and Steve was holding back a laugh.

“i hate you guys, i really do” you mumbled, “should i say sorry? I feel like i should say sorry right?”

“You just want an excuse to give that man sex eyes” another one of your friends spoke up and you rolled your eyes.

You snuck a glance at bucky making eye contact, you gave a small smile which he happily returned, waving slightly. You waved back, quickly turning back to your friends as your heart raced.

You and your friends paid and left not long after, Steve and bucky following a couple minutes after. You said your goodbyes in the parking lot, giving them tight hugs.

“you sure you don’t want a ride?” They had asked and you shook your head, waving her off as you walked to the bus stop down the street, sitting on the bench and scrolling through your social media mindlessly.

You looked up as someone sat next to you, giving them a small smile before realizing it was bucky. Your eyes went wide and you froze, eyes focused on your now locked phone. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

You glanced at bucky, face flushing when you made eye contact.

“you were so charming, i still don’t understand how you could be so calm” you spoke, looking at him as he let out a snort.

“i was shitting myself the whole time doll” he laughed, “I’m surprised i didn’t fuck up the moment i opened my mouth.”

“I’m bucky” he smiled, extending his had for you to shake. You smiled back, shaking his hand before replying, “I’m y/n.”

You were quiet for a second before turning to face him again, “I’m sorry for my friends in the diner, they can be a bit much” you chuckled, fiddling with your phone in your hands.

“don’t worry ‘bout it, I’m flattered honestly” he replied and you cocked your head.

“oh?” You replied, confused at his response.

“I mean to have a pretty girl like you thinking about me? An honor really” he spoke smoothly, a charming smile on his face as he looked at you.

“i- well- uh, thank you?” You let out a breathy laugh, and he smiled at you, moving onto another topic of conversation.

Next thing you knew the two of you were sat together on the bus, laughing as you two exchanged stories and talked about your interests.

“this is my stop” you frowned, not wanting to end the conversation yet. Buckys heart raced, debating on wether or not he should make a move or not. Steve would surely have his head on a spike if he didn’t.

“i- well, if you want i can walk you, it’s dark and i don’t want you in any danger” he spoke, stumbling in his words.

“I’d love that buck” you smiled and he looked at you with a grin on his face, following you out of the bus.

The evening air was cool, it felt nice against your flushed skin, a smile on both of your faces as you walked towards your apartment. The sound of your laughter filling the open air.

You arrived at your apartment building, exchanging numbers and saying goodbye, already looking forward to see each other next time.

“can’t believe you walked me back” you giggled, butterflies in your stomach as you remembered how flirty he was that night.

“i never told you but i had actually driven to the place” bucky blushed, “Steve had been busy earlier so we met up there” he laughed as your mouth flew open.

“so you had to go all the way back to get your car?!” Bucky smiled bashfully, “you even paid to take the bus!” You squealed, sitting up quickly and leaning against the headboard.

“I wasn’t gonna let public transportation stand between me and the love of my life!” Bucky replied quickly, sitting up next to you.

“you barely knew me!”

“i wanted to get to know you! that was the whole point” he shot back, a smile on his face when he noticed how flustered you were.

“you did all that for me” you looked at him fondly and he nodded.

“and I’d do so much more for you now” Bucky smiled, kissing your cheek softly before moving to your jaw and then your lips.

“I love you so much doll” he whispered, pulling you into his arms. You let him wrap himself around you, holding you closely to his chest.

“i love you more lovely” you replied, placing a soft kiss on his bicep. He held you for a couple more moments before letting go, letting you move back to his side and lay on his chest.

“you do so much for me doll, you keep me grounded, you make me happy, you keep me from going crazy, wish i could do the same” he mumbled, his fingers scratching at your scalp and making your eyes flutter shut.

“you do all that and more for me too james, you just never realize” you whispered, yawning as he continued his movements.

“how about we go to sleep, and I’ll tell you all tomorrow just how much you do for me, yeah?” You mumbled, opening your eyes slightly. Bucky nodded, laying down and getting comfortable, moving so that he could spoon you, draping an arm around your waist and pulling you to his chest.

“goodnight lover boy” you mumbled, he smiled at the nickname.

“goodnight dollface” he whispered, kissing your neck softly before closing his eyes, hearing alpines soft purring from across the room.