remembering one of the times i was getting evaluated by a therapist to determine if i was "really trans" or not or whatever and he was like "so if you transitioned to male, how would you dress differently?"
and i was like "i.. dont know. I wouldnt?"
and he looked at me blankly and wrote something down and said "really? you wouldnt wear anything more masculine?"
and i realized i'd given the wrong answer so I just said "I would... wear... suits?"
and he smiled and wrote something else down like "ah! yes"
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things i wish i had known when i escaped my family household and couldn't ask my parents for help
invest in a good mattress early on. there are many other ends you can save on - sleep is not one of them. this is key to how much energy you'll have throughout the day
you don't need a bedframe but you do need a slatted bed base (even if it's just pallets)
opening a bank account is easy
there's youtube tutorials for everything. how to install your washing machine, how to use tools, fixing stuff around the place. channels like dad, how do i? are a godsend
change energy provider as soon as your old deal runs out. you'll get better offers elsewhere and avoid price gouging
assemble a basic first aid kid at home: painkillers, probiotics, alcohol wipes, bandages, tweezers, antihistamine tablets - anything you might need in a pinch
and an emergency toolkit: flashlight, extra batteries, a utility knife, an adjustable wrench, multi-tool, duct tape
set your fridge to the lowest temperature it can go. the energy consumption is minimal in difference and it'll give you +4/7 days on most foods
off-brand products are almost always the same in quality and taste, if not better, for half the price
coupons will save you a lot of money in the long run
there's no reason to be shy around employees at the bank/laundromat/store; most people will be happy to help
vegetarian diets are generally cheap if you make food from scratch
breakfast is as important as they say
keep track of your budget in a notebook or excel file - e.g. rent, phone and internet bills, food, leisure so you'll have an overlook on your spending over the months
don't gamble
piracy is okay
stealing from big stores and chains is also ethically okay
keep medical bills and pharmacy receipts for tax returns
also, file your tax returns early
take up a hobby that isn't in front of a screen. pottery, music, going for a run every now and then, stuff that'll keep you busy and sane
and most importantly... you're allowed to get the stuff you want. treat yourself to the occasional mundane thing. a good scented candle. a bath bomb. that body lotion that makes you feel like royalty. the good coffee beans.
you're free and you deserve to be happy.
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@singofus asked: 81 (for Spotify wrapped with Ares)
it is rare that thanatos finds herself having to embrace , experience , and exploit any aspect of current night life these days . she rarely goes out for her own personal enjoyment – if she is out , it's because she's catering to hermes' demands ( and her own insistence that someone accompany him on his benders ) . hermes is not to blame for this one , though .
( and she's very certain he's pissed he wasn't able to come on this little venture . )
through a confluence of enforced agreements , underhanded sabotage , and back-alley torture , they've found where some of their missing product may have gone . the person to confirm this is currently living it up on mykonos in the bar crawl to end all bar crawls .
which is how thanatos finds herself on the second floor of this nightclub , surveying the crowd below . it's not exactly a honeypot mission , but if that gets this woman off the dance floor and into their custody , it will be considered a viable tactic . she sees ares by the bar on the first floor and she knows meg is on the third floor , making her way through the game rooms in case someone up there has any information , or uses their shipment as collateral .
the song changes over from one to another , courtesy of the change of dj's , and she takes advantage of the shift change of partygoers on the dance floor to descend . her black dress glitters under the club lights much like her eyeshadow , black painted lips held in a purposeful neutral position rather than her go-to rbf .
it's not until she reaches the bottom of the stairs that she realizes they're playing a late aughts pop song – one that she and ares ( and no small number of night clubs in athens ) have their own relationship with . it's not her fault cascada writes absolute bangers , nor is it her fault that this song came out at an interesting time in her relationship with quite possibly the queerest of drugs and her general recklessness with regards to public intimacy for a good few years there .
hypnos calls it her hoe phase . whatever .
she feels eyes on her and she glances over towards the bar ; blood red eyes and black tattoos draw her in , the cocksure smirk hidden behind an impassive mask of a working man .
he can't hide his eyes , though .
she smirks , just a little bit , and steps into the crowd of people , not minding being touched by strangers for once .
she dances with someone who had come up a few times in their mark's history ; they seem receptive to her , and she lets them touch as she waits for meg to finish upstairs . in the last bit of the song , meg says she's got her and is bringing her to the rendezvous point , where than and ares can meet her when ready .
than's taken less than a step away from her previous dance partner before she's pulled against a familiar chest . she looks back at ares with a smirk , knowing they can't do anything while comms are still on , but that doesn't stop her from rolling her hips against him ( at a proper height now , given her heels ) , her fingers teasingly tugging the hem of her already incredibly tight and short dress up , just a bit .
❛ meet you in ten , ❜ she murmurs over the comms , just as strong hands teasingly brush over her body – chest , throat , ass , thighs – before grabbing her hand and spinning her out away from his body , then dragging her out of the club into the fresh air to finish the job — and hopefully give them time together before their return to athens .
than doesn't need poppers for the heat thrumming through her body , but for what it's worth , she could get some . for old time's sakes .
still the night, kill the lights / feel it under your skin / time is right, keep it tight / 'cause it's pulling you in / wrap it up, you can't stop / 'cause it feels like an overdose
— evacuate the dancefloor, cascada
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A very experimental art for me, i want to try out some new style. ihnmaims radio drama got me in a chokehold and possessed me to draw this.
Also I'm giving Ted zero gyatt cus that man did not deserve it.
Note :
- the binary translates as "HATEHATE" on repeat.
- the pair of punchcode tapes representing AM's talkfield, are from the original short story. The left one is "I THINK, THEREFORE I AM" and the right is "COGITO ERGO SUM".
โอ้ยปวดตา
Update : I posted a timelapse here!
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