#I apologize that they are all in CAPS

[myckicade]

This is my response to an ongoing conversation. ( @motleystitches and @tikxy have some fabulous insights! ). I'm posting this portion on its own, as well, because... Well, why not, indeed?

To quote the beginning of @motleystitches' response:

This is incredibly interesting, because it leads me to thinking that perhaps Lestat never intended to be in this deep with Louis at all. He didn’t realise what he was getting into when he started the whole hunt-for-a-companion. He knew the “play” of romance, so that’s what he did with his grand gestures etc, but it all comes back to bite him, so to speak and he didn’t like it at all.

Mmmm, precisely. He intended to play the game, and fell head-first into, "Oh, shit." Louis feels like the biggest slap of reality that (I suspect) Lestat has had in a long time, a reminder of that which he can't control. He can kill. He can seduce. But love? Oh, no. No, love can not be kept on such a tether, not when it is him being choked by the reigns. Being Louis' maker, there is likely a pretty serious expectation of adoration from his fledgling, of love, certainly, and not necessarily with the intention of making it a two-way street (beyond those grand gestures).

The truly amusing part is that Lestat is really overthinking the problem. To use an old favourite, he's set up for a game of checkers, while Louis is ready to play chess.

I love your description of Louis as "the most human-ish vampire ever", because that is absolutely spot-on. Louis wants to be seen, to be understood. We wants something real. He isn't taken in by the superficial, and that comes across as the only card Lestat knows how to play. He can wine and dine, he can show off his wealth and status, he can be the mysterious man about town. When that fails to be what Louis needs to be happy, and it makes Louis confused and uncomfortable, there's this sense of, "...-Huh?!" Sure, Lestat eventually says he enjoys the challenge of Louis, but the novelty is quick to wear off. He's faced with it so many times, the resulting struggle to recalibrate leaves him with mental and emotional whiplash.

At some points, it really looks like he doesn't know whether he's coming or going. The argument in which Lestat screams, "This isn't a life!" strikes me, again and again. That he, Lestat, stubborn, headstrong, ever-powerful creature of the night, has been brought to tears over a situation he could have left. He's scared and hurt, stuck in the middle of a situation he doesn't seem to have encountered before, that he put himself in, and he's looking to Louis to fix it. Goodness knows he's tried and tried (and failed and failed) to make Louis happy, and Louis is the only one with the answer of how to make it work. The only one with the power to change it. He's helpless in the face of Louis' depression, and doesn't have a clue what else to try. Nights out don't work. Sex doesn't work. It's an easy thing to take personally. Unfortunately, he turns to that age-old defense: Victim Blaming. I do believe that he genuinely wants Louis to feel better, but that ego response of "Why am I not the answer?!" really, really gets in his way.

And he still has the balls to laugh in Louis' face, when Loius voices the same concern over their relationship. What a dick.

Anyway.

Lestat clearly loves Louis enough to stand beside him, and swirl down the drain with him, but he lacks the capacity for... understanding? Empathy? Patience? To continue on in silence. To some degree, I would argue that he shouldn't have to, either. Argument, within limitation, can be healthy toward working through feelings, and making one's self heard. Getting to the bottom of things, and figuring it all out. On the other side of the argument, Louis does not have to magically be better to fix the problem. I'm just being a broken record about fucking communicating.

The situation with Claudia is a repeat of the same theme, sparking the pattern I had previously mentioned. They wrap the wound (turn Claudia), forgive and forget, and move on. But, eventually, Louis' focus goes to Claudia, a stand-in (though loved) for the family he's already lost. He's once again distracted by something that isn't Lestat. He nit-picks at Lestat for his parenting choices, which, I grant you, don't look great on the surface. But, Lestat is the experienced vampire. I say again, Lestat is the experienced vampire. He knows what it will take for this girl, this fledgling of theirs to survive in the world. Every time he tries, Louis takes issue, because Louis is trying to protect Claudia from what she is. From what they made her. As with his own self-care as a vampire, he's trying to do it in halves. I think it scares him that Claudia is a killer, that she is not like him. That she will grow to resent them for what they have done to her, as opposed to for her. (And, as we've seen... Ta-da...).

But, I digress. Here's Louis, once again throwing criticism at Lestat. Resentment. Just when he thinks he's finally found the answer. After he's helped Louis to attain what he wants. After they have been doing so much better. After he's given more than he had ever intended to the man, and he's still not enough. He isn't enough to make Louis stay without Claudia. He isn't enough to make Louis happy without Claudia. Either he doesn't understand what Louis is going through, or he doesn't give a shit (which I find a little more difficult to believe), and it leaves him with a sense of inadequacy. And he looks at Claudia, and Claudia apparently holds every fucking answer that he has now spent decades trying to find. He's failed, and to a child, and part of him just seems to... give up.

Which brings me to Antoinette. Part of me thinks that, sure, Lestat runs back over to Antoinette, at whatever point, to fill the void of what he wants, but isn't getting from Louis. Someone he can please, and likely with so much ease, I can hear his ego purring from here. Someone who makes him feel wanted, and desirable, and (I'm sure) the complete opposite of helpless. The rest of me, though, also sees this affair as Lestat giving up. Said affair has gone on for all these years, and Louis obviously hasn't moved for a physical separation. The cry for attention has gone unanswered. He's tired of hunting. As you say, he recognizes himself as being in the wrong for it, because he still doesn't want to lose what they have, fucked up as it may be. It reads to me as, "Yes, I've done it. Now, are you going to fight for me? For us?"

Then, re-enter Claudia, and her attempts to take Louis away. No matter what they've been through until this point, no matter how many times Louis has threatened to end things, they are still together. They've weathered it all, for better or worse. If there has been a roadblock? Lestat has destroyed it. Quite literally, he has killed it. But, Claudia? She's a roadblock he can't go through. He can't kill Claudia. For one thing, I do believe he cares about her, much as - again - he claims he doesn't. For another, if he harms her, he will surely lose Louis for good. And, he cares about that. This isn't something he can piss on and walk away from. Louis means everything to him. Claudia is going to win, Louis is going to leave him, and Lestat has no tricks left to try. No amount of recalibration is going to fix it. He's lost, and he can't have that.

If he's going to lose anyway, he might as well become the monster he was always expected to be.

[romanreigns]

[inumbrapugnabimus-maybe]

Happy birthday Four!! I have drawn some art in his honor :)

Also, imma tag anyone who showed interest in said birthday in this post, which also inspired me, as did the amazing art by @akchimp75!! Sooo here goes!

@illegiblehandwriting1 @margindoodles2407 @turdofanerd @uniquevoidflowers @ladye-zelda @undertheopensky @uncleskyrule

also @prince-of-red-lions! (thank you for the advice :D)

also, here is a wider version under the cut, just because I like the grass XD

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

(apparently) hot take: Gon isn’t any more selfish than the average 12 year old

[sunshinechay]

So Uea continues to have just the most expressive face despite himself. Especially when it comes to the love and sadness that he feels towards King.

Uea is allowing himself to feel excited about the possibility of planning a trip with his lover (whether he and King are willing to call themselves that or not.) He revels in these emotions are he enjoys searching for a place to go. A place both he and King will love and get to spend time together out in the open.

His confusion is palpable when King takes him into the staircase to explain that he can’t go on the trip anymore. Why is his boyfriend cancelling their trip? Why is he saying he has to go to an arranged marriage meeting when he’s already dating Uea?

…oh yeah that’s right. They’re not actually a couple and Uea let himself forget that in his joy and excitement.

He tries to fake nonchalance which King sees through right away. Uea already knows he would, because Uea has made the mistake of allowing King to know him, really know him, in a way no one does, not even Jade. Uea was ready and willing to begin the process of cracking himself open and exposing all of his flaws and weakness, all of his perceived short comings for King to see. He was already fostering the hope that King would see past all of that to the boy inside him that just wants to be loved and accepted.

But now he knows. He knows that even if King would be willing to do it (and of course he’d be willing) it doesn’t matter. King is going to go to this meeting and probably meet his soulmate and Uea will be left alone, again. So why not try to reassure King that he will be okay (even though they both knows he definitely won’t be).

As he leaves, you can already see the thoughts turning in his head. How he is twisting all of it in his head and finding some way to blame himself for this happening. The most obvious one is that he was stupid. He forgot that he and King weren’t together. He forgot that King isn’t falling in love with him the way Uea is with King. (Or at least, I think that’s what he is trying to convince himself. After all, King is player. Someone who would likely only settle down because his parents want grandchildren and what better way to find a woman to do that with than with a marriage meeting).

With King in the background of the shot, I think Uea’s thoughts are now turning towards his past history. Likely telling himself that this was bound to happen eventually because that’s just the way Uea’s life works. His mother, his exes, none of them could find anything about him that was worth loving, that was worth sticking around for. By that logic, it stands to reason that King couldn’t find anything either.

Finally the acceptance hits and he tells himself that he needs to get back to work. That he needs to focus on what he knows he’s good for. He is intelligent and can create good, well crafted work. He can get it done by the deadline and hopefully that will mean that there is one less reason that Krit will have to be inappropriate towards him.

Uea’s trauma is on full display in this scene, whether or not he (or King) realizes it. The results of a life time of many different kinds of abuse have lead Uea down a path of self doubt, where he firmly believes he is undeserving of the love that comes with a life partner (romantic or otherwise). King is just another person in a long line of people that managed to figure it out sooner rather than later.

So he blames himself. He is the foolish one for forgetting and inferring about so many things with regards to his and King’s relationship. He has been through this before and yet each time, he is just as hurt. I can imagine at least one comment Uea made to himself, either during this scene or during the vacation is that this is nothing short of what he deserves for believing that he has maybe found someone who could love him.

I think that is one of the reasons why, in a later scene, he is quick to remind King that they are just bed friends. I don’t think he was only reminding King. I think he was also reminding himself. Reminding himself that he has to keep his walls high, he has to get over how he feels and remember that King is not his. He needs King to stop doing these things for him, so that he can also remember that fact. So that he can save himself from getting any more hurt than he already is.

I also find it really interesting that this exchange happens after the pet play scene. A scene that if nothing else, proves exactly how into each other they are. They trust each other and are into each other enough to want to explore kink and how it would work for them.

It’s fascinating to watch just how fast Uea’s trauma response and lack of self worth work to destroy any happy memory he has with King the second there is a set back. It’s not King’s fault, nor is it Uea’s really. It’s something that’s been happening most of his life. It’s why he has walls so high and different (yet remarkably similar) boundaries for everyone in his life. He wants to preserve the happy memories if he can, especially since they are so few and far between. He wants to be able to ignore the sense of shame and guilt that permeates his life. But at the same time, there is always a part of him that believes that shame and guilt should be there. That they should be something he is aware of every second of every day, lest he forget what a horrible person he really is.

[the-scooby-gang]

You know it just occurred to me but Shaggy is (according to “The Sword and the Scoob”) the direct descendant of the King of Camelot. Meaning he has a claim to the throne of Britain.

So… in theory… if he wanted… since the queen is dead…

[mirion7]

Red dwarf tarot card - The Hierophant

Featuring captain Hollister who've turned into a chicken

(how sad for captain Paxo)

Next card up is The Lovers, and I know there's plenty of canon ships (Lister and Kochanski, Rimmer and McGruder, Holly and Hilly, Cat and himself, etc), however I think we're all forgetting the ultimate one (Lister and his gelf wife)

[messyspacespades]

DO NOT FUCKING SCROLL PAST THIS PLEASE

THE US COPYRIGHT OFFICE HAS HEARD THE DEBATE OVER IF AI SHOULD BE COPYRIGHTABLE (it shouldn't, its legit theft) AND IS NOW SEEKING COMMENTS TO ASSESS IF THERE NEEDS TO BE ANY REGULATION OR LEGAL STEPS IN THE WHOLE COPYRIGHT LAW ISSUE! (If you've been on the AI homepage at all since like last monday, you've probably already seen this)

GO AND FUCKING COMMENT ON HOW AI GENERATED WORKS SHOULD NOT BE COPYRIGHTABLE! I WOULD ARGUE THAT EVEN WITH SIGNIFICANT HUMAN INPUT THEY SHOULDN'T BE COPYRIGHTABLE! BUT GO AND COMMENT ON HOW AND WHY IT SHOULDN'T BE COPYRIGHTABLE!

YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SUBMIT A WRITTEN COMMENT AFTER 11:59 PM EST ON WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 18TH, 2023! THIS INQUIRY DOCUMENT ALREADY HAS 7000 COMMENTS, AND COULD USE A WHOLE LOT MORE! GO AND COMMENT! LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD! (Also, be nice. I don't think your comment will be taken into consideration or even published if you're rude and don't provide a constructive, understandable critism of ai and say why it shouldn't be something ppl can copyright.)

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

[incorrectly911]

Hen: What's the hardest thing to say?

Bobby: I was wrong.

Eddie: I need help.

Buck: No.

Chim: Worcestershire sauce.

[cypric-rat-hyperfixation]

omce again i bring chirvil pictures :D

(and also oleander staring me down for daring to walk into the room and wake her from her nap)

AGH FUCK

[knowlesian]

okay, i’m not gonna call out names because i think people deserve chances to grow and i’m not assuming any malicious intent, but i also feel a need to answer something addressed to me today, because empathy’s gotta go hand in hand with accountability.

this is why talking about race (in fandom, or otherwise) is often like slamming your face into a brick wall that keeps insisting it’s on your side.

okay. so i sort of debated how to handle this: i think i’m just gonna quote myself. you may have missed this piece, so hopefully it’ll give context for why i’m not sure exactly what to say, and remain unsure.

i am very sure that until the day i die, i will be doing the hard and frustrating and not super ego-boosting work of diving into the mental dumpster of weird bullshit i was implicitly taught and unpacking it all.

so i know i will breathe my last and i will still have all these racist ideas, rattling around my noggin fucking with how i see the world and how i treat people, even though i don’t know i’m doing the thing. when i talk about people being racist and having implicit bias, i am also talking about me!

because racist is a descriptor, not an insult. and as much as it sucks for me to unpack this shit (don’t let anybody tell you it’s not hard work or that it feels good to do; it’s really hard and it will make you feel very small and gross sometimes) the people i accidentally aim it at deserve me putting in that effort and have it much worse.

so when i’m like, it was racist stede did that? i’m not saying stede is a bad person, and i’m not saying fuck that guy.

i’m saying oh shit this show is SMART, i do that too! it’s me!

so. i don’t know why you posted this and then bounced: i don’t know why you didn’t @ me, if you wanted me to see it and respond.

like... is your issue that i’m talking about race too much? that i’m being mean or unfair when i do it? that i don’t talk enough about how hard it is for white people to think about race, or that i’m not being understanding enough that it sucks to look at people who hurt you and have to consider you might have something in common with them? because i’ve said exactly that, too. you’re right, it’s not fun to do this work, and it is work.

i guess i just don’t understand the purpose, here, or why you’d say all this and not explain what exactly you want from me as a writer to do differently. and if that’s not your goal and i’ve misunderstood, then...  i mean. i guess i remain confused as to what you want me to take away from this, other than “it’s hard to be white, and you have made me feel very uncomfortable about it so i wish you would stop”.

[dailytodorokiraichi]

Do you ever just feel... devastation??

[themadlostgirl]

WAS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT THEY ARE MAKING A 7th SEASON OF TOTALLY SPIES!!!???!

That show was my childhood! I am in heaven! This my year! Literally nothing can wrong from here on out!

[incorrectcfvg]

[daily-mosscreep]

LETS BRING BACK V1 IN @nonbiney-swag-competition